Copyright © 2015 Kaylee Ryan
All Rights Reserved.
This book may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Kaylee Ry...
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Copyright © 2015 Kaylee Ryan All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Kaylee Ryan, except for the use of brief quotations in articles and or reviews. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, events, locations, businesses and plot are products of the author’s imagination and meant to be used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events throughout the story are purely coincidental. The author acknowledges trademark owners and trademarked status of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, sponsored or associated by or with the trademark owners. The following story contains sexual situations and strong language. It is intended for adult readers. Cover Design: Perfect Pear Creative Covers Cover Photography: 6:12 Photography by Eric McKinney Cover Model: Brian Wynne Editing: Hot Tree Editing Formatting: Integrity Formatting
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29
Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Epilogue Contact Kaylee Ryan Also by Kaylee Ryan Acknowledgements
Have you ever reached that point in your life when you know it’s time for a change? The point where you realize everything you’ve been fighting for is no longer worth the fight. I’ve reached that point as I sit and listen to Daniel, my boyfriend of three years, tell me once again that he thinks we need a break. Daniel and I have been on again off again during our time together. He goes through these phases where he “needs a break” which really means he wants to stick his dick in someone else. It took me a while to realize what was happening; my friends tried to warn me, but I just would not listen. I was in love with him. Keyword: was! We’ve been through his ‘needing a break’ speech more times than I can count, and I’m done. Looking back, I realize it was the thought of Daniel that kept me holding on. He’s a great guy, goodlooking. Tall, shaggy blond hair, physically fit. He’s good to me, well, until he decides he ‘needs a break.’ In reality, I guess I should thank him. At least he broke it off before cheating on me. Daniel doesn’t realize I’m onto his game. Today we graduated from college. It should be a joyous occasion, and it is, but it’s hard to be all sunshine and roses when you’re in the restroom and overhear some skank announce that Daniel is just amazing and he promised that tonight would be the night. He just had to break it off with me first. The loving, longtime girlfriend, who continues to give him his space every damn time he asks for it. Me, the loving girlfriend, who believed his lies and took him back every time. Epic fail on my part. I should have listened to my best friend. Stacy tried time and time again to tell me the rumors she’d heard about Daniel when we were apart. I always chalked it up to the rumor mill running rampant. Tonight, well, let’s just say, lesson learned. “Logan, are you even listening to me?” he asks. “Actually, no, I’m not. I’m tired of listening to your bullshit. I’m done. Don’t come back to me
when you’re finished with whatever her name is. I won’t be waiting around for you.” His mouth hangs open in shock. Like my refusal to understand is coming out of left field. I guess it is, considering I’ve let him walk all over me for years. Not this time. “Logan, come on, don’t be like that. There’s no one else. I just need some time, you know? You know I get spooked and need to regroup,” he tries to convince me. “Spooked? Seriously, Daniel? You’ve pulled the wool over my eyes long enough. I heard her. I heard your little fling telling her friends how you promised her tonight was the night. As far as I’m concerned, she can have you.” I head toward the door of his apartment. “Come on, don’t be like that. She means nothing to me,” he confesses. Laughter bubbles out of me. I can’t believe I let this happen all this time. “Apparently, neither do I. I want more, Daniel. I deserve more. That’s obviously not going to happen with you, so I wish you and whatever her name is the best of luck.” Funny thing is, I mean every word. I cared about him, loved him even in the beginning. Over time, with his span of many ‘need a break’ episodes that love faded. It took hearing it with my own ears to realize it. I’m no longer in love with Daniel, but remain in love with the thought of him. I wanted the white picket fence and two-pointfive kids. I wanted the fairy tale; too bad I now realize they no longer exist. It’s time to put me first. Today starts a new chapter of my life. I’m going to focus on my career. I busted my ass to get through college to make a good life for myself, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Starting now. “Logan, you know what we have is special,” he coos. Yeah, he’s really laying it on thick this time. “No, you’re wrong. I was never special to you. From the first time you needed a break, the first time you stuck you’re fucking dick into someone else, anything special that could have been was ruined.” It’s with those words that I realize I need to get tested. I always insisted on him using a condom, even though I’m on birth control, but nothing is 100 percent effective. Happy freaking graduation to me. I get to climb on the table and spread them while confessing to my gynecologist that, yes, I know my checkup was only three months ago, but my cheating scum of a boyfriend can’t keep it in his pants. Just the conversation every woman longs to have. Fuck my life. “Come on, we can figure this out,” he pleads. “I’m done! It’s over. Have a nice life.” I don’t want to be around him another second. The hot burn of tears, are threatening to fall. I blink rapidly to prevent it. He’s not worth it. Just as I turn the handle to his apartment door, he appears beside me. “Logan, three years. You’re just going to throw it all away?” Un-fucking-believable. “Me? YOU. DID. THIS!” I roar. “You, Daniel. Not me. I’m done playing your games. It’s over, now let me go.” This time, he doesn’t stop me as I pull open the door and rush down the hallway. I look over my shoulder as I wait for the elevator and see him standing in the middle of the hall, just watching me.
The only emotion I see is shock. He really thought I would never figure it out. We talked about marriage in a year or so; what would he have done then? Gah! I’m such an idiot. The elevator door slides open. I quickly move inside, hitting the button for the parking lot level and the close door button. The sooner I can no longer see him, the better. I climb in my little Nissan Sentra, which has by far seen better days, and head toward home. Digging my cell out of my purse, I hit Stacy’s name on my favorites list, and put the phone to my ear. “Hey, girlie, you guys on your way here?” she asks. I was supposed to be picking Daniel up and then we were meeting Stacy back at our apartment. Our parents, Stacy’s and mine, had put together a joint graduation party for us. “I’m on my way. I just left Daniel’s,” I tell her. “And Daniel?” she prompts. “He will not be joining us. Ever,” I add as an afterthought. “Uh, okay. Would you care to explain what that means?” I laugh humorlessly. “That means he’s a cheating piece of shit, and I should have listened to you.” I go on to tell her about the conversation I overheard and the outcome of my little visit with my now ex-boyfriend. “Oh, God, Logan, I’m sorry. He’s a worthless piece of shit, and you can do better,” she tells me. “Agreed.” “Wow, you don’t seem all that upset.” “Well, I’m not really. I’m just over it, over the drama of it all. I don’t know why I refused to see it before now, but there was never going to be a future for us.” “You didn’t see it because you were in love with the fairy tale,” she says softly. It’s scary how well she knows me. “I’m pulling in,” I say. I don’t bother letting her know she’s right. She already knows. “Great. I’m on my way out.” A few minutes later, we’re heading to her parents’ house to celebrate another milestone. College graduation. As soon as we arrive, Stacy and I split in opposite directions to say hello to our parents. My mom, dad, and brother drove down from Cincinnati. Mom smiles widely as she spots me walking toward her. “There she is,” she grins, “my college graduate.” I can’t help but smile. “Hey, Mom. Where are Dad and Jase?” “Right here, big sister.” My little brother by four years picks me up and swings me around. He may be younger, but he’s built like a damn linebacker. I don’t bother to protest. I’ve learned that just fuels him to keep me in the air longer. “Jase, you need to share.” My dad laughs. Jase’s deep rumble leaves his chest as he sits me back on my feet; they barely touch the ground before my dad is lifting me into a bear hug. “Proud of you, baby girl,” he says softly, just for me.
“Where’s Daniel?” Mom asks as Dad sets me back on my feet. “He’s not coming. We’re over, actually,” I inform my family as if we were discussing the weather. “Pft, like we haven’t heard that before,” Jase scoffs. “Jase!” Mom scolds him. I stick my tongue out in reply. He flips me off. “It’s over. I’m done with his games. He’s been cheating on me. Well, technically, he wasn’t cheating since we were always ‘taking a break,’ but in my eyes, he cheated.” “I’m going to kick his ass,” Jase seethes. I step next to him and place my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “I love you for that, I do. Honestly, he’s not worth it. I’m good with it. This has been a long time coming. I just want to forget it and move on,” I tell them. “Regardless, he better hope he doesn’t see me out,” Jase warns. Jase has a good couple of inches on Daniel and more muscle. He could definitely give Daniel a run for his money. Not that I think that will be an issue. Daniel doesn’t like confrontation, at least not with guys who are built like my little brother. Daniel is more of a preppy pretty boy type. Don’t judge, I was a sophomore in college and he swept me off my feet. My standards are much higher now, trust me. “Well, sounds like we have more than just graduation to celebrate,” my dad quips. “That we do, Dad. That we do.” “Right,” Mom says. “Let’s get Stacy and her parents over here so we can give you your presents.” She claps her hands in glee. My mom has always been a giver. Something about giving lights her up. I get that from her, also a trait Daniel played on. Good riddance. Jase shoves his index finger and thumb in his mouth and whistles loudly. I never could do that. “Hey, Stace, we need you all over here,” he yells once he has everyone’s attention. Looping her arms through both of her parents,’ Stacy leads them to us. Her parents step away to stand beside mine, all four of them wearing huge-ass grins. Hmm . . . this is gonna be good. I can already tell. Jase steps between Stacy and me and throws an arm over each of our shoulders. “Remember this in four years, will you?” he says, loud enough for our parents to hear. He knows what it is and is envious. Hell, yeah! I cannot wait to see what it is. “Girls, we are so damn proud of you,” Stacy’s dad says. “You’ve both busted your ass to get through college,” my dad chimes in. “You deserve a break, some fun in the sun, if you will,” Stacy’s mom hints. “A little rest and relaxation before joining the post-college world,” Mom adds. Jase releases us and joins our parents. “I want it to go on record that I’m jealous as hell,” he announces with a grin. Mom reaches around my dad and smacks his arm. Reaching in his back pocket, Jase pulls out an envelope with our names scrawled across the front. I glance over at Stacy and she shrugs; she has no idea either.
Jase hands us the envelope. We both squeal with delight as we lean in close and pull it open together. I read the card, and then read it again, giving my brain a second chance to process what it says. “Hawaii?” Stacy asks. “Yep, the two of you get to spend a week on a private stretch of beach and soak up some rays while I’m stuck here.” Jase tries to hide his grin. He’s happy for us, even if he is jealous he’s not going. He’ll get his in four years. “Holy shit!” Stacy and I say at the same time. This causes everyone, and I mean everyone, to burst out laughing. Apparently, all the guests had gathered around. Stacy and I were too intent on discovering what was in the envelope to pay attention. My phone vibrates in my back pocket. Sliding it out, I glance at the screen. Daniel. I hit ignore and slide my phone back into my pocket. Not today, he’s not going to ruin this. He needed his space. He’s getting it. Permanently. “Your reservation is in a week,” Stacy’s mom informs us. “Gives you time to shop for some new clothes.”
“Seriously, Logan, you need to live a little. Buy the damn bikini,” Stacy says as she flings said bikini into my cart. “You call that a bikini? It’s tiny pieces of fabric strung together by . . . string.” She throws her head back and laughs. “We’re going to the beach, a private beach in Hawaii. You finally got rid of the loser, and you need to let loose. Here.” She pulls the same bikini off the shelf, checks the size, and tosses it in her cart. “Now, we’ll both be barely dressed and living the dream.” “I still can’t believe they rented us a freaking beach house in Hawaii!” I say as my phone dings, alerting me to a message. Digging it out of my purse, I swipe the screen and see Daniel has sent me yet another message.
Daniel: Why are you ignoring me?
Is he for real? I’m ignoring his dumb ass because he’s, well . . . a dumb-ass. UGH! “Daniel?” Stacy asks. “Yep.” I hold my phone up so she can read his message. “What the hell? He’s delusional,” she says, shaking her head. “He’s something,” I say as I delete his message and slide my phone back in my purse. He’s texted me at least twice a day for the last week. Six days since he gave me his ‘I need space’ speech. Six days since I’ve been single, knowing this time it’s really over. Six days where I have felt . . . free. It’s weird how you don’t realize how much someone is holding you back until you are able to really open your eyes and look at it from a different perspective. Daniel is toxic. “This trip is going to be amazing. We’re both single and beautiful.” She winks at me. “We’re going to live it up, experience one last hoorah before entering the wonderful world of adulthood.” “Stacy, we’re already adults,” I remind her. “Yeah, but now we have to become straight-laced members of society. We can no longer be the young girls hiding behind the ‘they’re in college’ façade. We actually have to be full-functioning
members of society. Which reminds me, how’s the job search coming?” I graduated with my bachelor ’s degree in business administration. “I’ve applied for every damn entry-level admin position I can find. I even applied for a few assistant positions that I am overqualified for.” I shrug. “I have to start somewhere. I’ve had a few interviews, but no callbacks yet.” “I start my new job the Monday after we come back. It’s not what I thought I would be doing with my degree, but I’m excited to try something new.” Stacy has a degree in education. She wanted to be a high school science teacher. However, teaching jobs are few and far between. She ended up accepting a teaching position for a pharmaceutical company. She’s going to be giving presentations to physicians and their staff about the company’s products. Stacy is outgoing, so this is actually a great job for her. “That’s awesome, Stacy! I’m so excited for you. You’re going to kick ass at this job, you know that, right?” “You know it.” She laughs. “Don’t worry, you’re going to get the call that will change your life.” Turns out, she was right. After hours of shopping, we head to our apartment to pack for our trip. Our flight leaves early tomorrow morning. I’m right in the middle of examining the strings I purchased, which the store and Stacy refer to as a bikini, second-guessing my purchase when my cell phone rings. I’ve applied for several jobs, so I answer even though I don’t recognize the number. “Hello?” I try to sound as professional as possible in my greeting. “Yes, can I please speak to Logan?” The polite voice comes through the line. I fight to keep my voice steady and the excitement clamped down. “This is Logan.” I manage to not squeal into the phone. “Logan, my name is Cassidy. I’m calling from Stone Records. You applied for a position with our organization.” Holy shit! Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I reply, “Yes, ma’am.” “Excellent. Mr. Jones reviewed your resume and asked that I call and offer you the position. You will be working as a personal assistant.” She continues to explain details of benefits and salary, which is a hell of a lot more than I ever would have expected. Is this really happening? Hired without an interview? “The position is salaried and often requires long hours and travel. What do you say, Ms. Andrews?” I say, holy fucking shit, Batman! “Yes, thank you. That sounds wonderful,” I say instead. “Excellent, we would like for you to start as soon as possible,” she gets right back to business. “I’m actually flying out for a week’s vacation tomorrow. I’m available the following week,” I explain. I can’t believe this is happening. She just hired me without ever laying eyes on me. I’m stunned. “That will be fine. I’ll courier over the address of where you and I will meet that Monday morning at, say, ten? I will include your contract, benefits, and salary breakdown in the packet, as well. I look forward to meeting you, Ms. Andrews.” “Logan, please. Thank you, I look forward to meeting you, as well.” I hear the click over the
line, and just like that, the call has ended and I’m no longer unemployed. Gripping my phone in my hand, I squeal as loud as I can before running out of my room heading for Stacy’s. “Stacy!” I push open her bedroom door, not caring about invading her privacy; we’re best friends after all. She’s walking toward the door, I’m sure to see what the hell I’m screeching about. I raise my phone. “I just got a call.” I can feel the grin splitting my face. “Stone Records just hired me over the damn phone. No interview needed. I start the Monday after we come back from our trip.” I squeal again, causing her to cringe. “I told you,” she says, throwing her arms around my shoulders in a hug. “That’s so freaking awesome. You’re going to kill it.” This causes me to laugh. “You don’t even know what I’m going to be doing,” I remind her. “Doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head. “I know you, and you don’t do anything halfway. You’re going to dazzle them with your skills.” “Okaaayyy. Well, I’m going to be a personal assistant. She mentioned a Mr. Jones, who I’ll be working for.” “You’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand.” “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I honestly have no idea what I’m getting myself into, but I’m ecstatic.” “Just think, this time tomorrow, we’ll be stretched out on the beach soaking up the rays. Our freedom is almost over,” she whines. “Speaking of, I need to finish packing. Are you done?” I survey her tornado of a room. I don’t know how she finds anything in here. I’m just glad she’s not this messy in the rest of our apartment. “Almost, your screams kind of sidetracked me.” She winks. “Hey!” I protest. This causes her to laugh. “As I recall, you were cheering right along with me.” “Hell yeah I was. I’m happy for you.” “Thank you. I’m nervous, but excited. I’m finally gainfully employed.” “You got this. Now off with you.” She waves her hand toward the door. “I have to finish packing.” I salute her order and head back to my room. I rush through my packing so I can call my parents and give them the news. They’re happy for me, yet disappointed. I think they were hoping I would get a job in Ohio. I’m still only a five-hour drive away, but they would prefer five minutes. Mom cried for days when I left for college, and Dad called more times than I can count, asking if I decided to come home yet. I love my parents; I got super lucky in that department. My little brother chose to stay closer to home. He’ll be going to college in Ohio, just a two-hour drive from my parents. This made them happy. “Honey, we’re so proud of you,” Mom says. “I wish you were coming home, but I understand.” “I know, Mom.” We’ve been through this before. No point in hashing it out yet again. “All right, you girls have a safe trip and enjoy yourself. Call us when you get there, so we know you’re safe,” she tells me. “I will. Tell Dad and Jase I said hi. Love you.” Lying back on the bed, I close my eyes and take a minute to let it sink in. I have a job, and was
hired over the phone, no interview. I’m still shocked, but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? I need some luck in my life. It’s time to move forward and do me, focus on my career. Happily ever after just isn’t in the cards for me.
“This place is amazing,” Stacy says. We just arrived at the beach house. It’s decorated with a beach theme, seashells and a mixture of nautical knickknacks. It has a cottage feel to it, and it’s absolutely breathtaking. Stacy and I dropped our bags as soon as we walked through the door. Like kids in a toy store, we run from room to room to examine our accommodations for the next seven days. “Logan! You have to see this view,” Stacy yells from the back of the house. I follow her voice and find myself standing in front of a double set of French doors, which lead to a huge multi-level deck. Stacy is leaning against the upper-level railing, staring out at the ocean. I join her, propping my elbows on the railing. Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back, allowing the feel of the hot sun to beat down on me while the gentle ocean breeze washes over me. “This place is heaven on earth,” Stacy says wistfully. I couldn’t agree more. I feel an elbow dig into my side, which puts a damper on my Zen moment. “What the hell, Stace?” I ask her, irritated. She grins and motions her head to the beach. Walking down the beach headed toward us is a whole lot of hotness. Neither one of us bother pretending like we don’t see him; instead, we soak up every inch of him, until he stops beneath us. “Ladies,” he purrs. His face lights up, showing a blinding white smile. “Hey,” we say in unison. Smooth, I know. “I’m staying just down the beach.” He points over his shoulder to the only other house within a mile on this private section of real estate. “Great! We just got here a few minutes ago. We’ll be here for the next week. I’m Lynn, and this is my friend Paige,” she introduces us using our middle names. I raise my eyebrows in question and she responds with a grin. I can’t ask her in front of Mr. Hotness, but I’m dying to know what her game is?
“It’s a pleasure,” he says in his deep, smooth voice. “I’m Michael.” He raises his hand to wave. “You need help with your luggage?” he offers. “No, thank you,” I decline his offer. “Well, all right then. I’ll leave you to it.” And just like that, he’s gone. We stare after him as his feet carry him further away from us. “Dayum! He was fine,” Stacy exclaims. “Why did you give him our middle names?” I ask. “Because, my dear, you and I are going to let loose on this trip. You’ve been with that jerk-off who treated you like shit; you deserve to have a fun vacation. Have a one-night stand. Pretend to be Paige, the carefree college graduate who doesn’t have a gaping hole in her heart from her douchebag ex. We are going to live life to the fullest for the next seven days. I’m breaking you out of your comfort zone.” Her words cause a bolt of excitement to shoot through my veins. I’ve been the good girl, the responsible, steady relationship girl my entire life. I gave everything in me to Daniel and what I thought we had, what I thought we were building together. The thought of doing something crazy, something out of character for me is exciting. “Let’s change into our suits and hit the beach,” Stacy calls over her shoulder. She’s already headed back into the house. I want this to be a trip to remember. Not so sure about the one-night stand, but I want to flirt and wear my barely-there bikini. I want the thrill of being available, nothing holding me back from getting down and dirty on the dance floor, kissing a stranger. It’s time to do me. Resolve set, I follow Stacy into the house and quickly change into my bikini. It’s way less clothing than I’m used to, but I remind myself this is living, being wild and free, at least for the next seven days. “Hurry up, slowpoke!” Stacy yells down the hall. I grab my sunglasses, a bottle of sunscreen, and my beach towel. “I packed a few wine coolers in here.” She points to a small beach cooler. “Our parents had this place stocked. There’s no need to go to the store. We’re set.” She grins. “I got my Bluetooth speakers too.” “Perfect.” As we set up for the day, Stacy keeps peering down the shoreline. “You think Mr. Hotness will show his face again?” I shrug. “Maybe, not sure though. He might be staying there to get away from people. This is a pretty secluded area,” I remind her. “Nope, not buying that.” She shakes her head. “He stopped by to say hello. He doesn’t want to be alone. He might be hiding from people, but he’s not hiding from us.” “Only time will tell.” I try to end the conversation. Oddly enough, our sexy neighbor with his hardline muscles and inked-up skin has been on my mind as well. The image is hard to forget, trust me.
Stacy plugs her iPod into her speakers and we settle in to get some sun. The sun is hot against my skin, causing my body to break out in a thin sheen of sweat. It doesn’t bother me, because, well, this is freaking Hawaii. I’m going to soak up as much of the sun’s rays as I can over the next seven days. Glancing over, I see Stacy has fallen asleep. Just as I’m trying to decide if I want to do the same, a shadow falls over us. Tilting my head toward the sky, my eyes collide with the tall, toned, tatted piece of hotness that is our neighbor. My breath hitches in my throat just from the sight of him. “Are you wearing sunscreen?” he asks. Uh, okay. Not sure why it matters to him. “I’m covered, thanks,” I reply, laying my head back on my towel. He may be the triple threat of T’s, but he can take his bossy ass back on down the beach. I feel him sit down beside me. He obviously didn’t get the hint. I ignore his presence and keep facing the opposite direction. Feeling yet another shadow, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He smells amazing. His hot breath hits my ear as he says, “I would hate for that flawless skin to be marred by the harsh rays of the sun.” Holy shit! So he just redeemed himself with that statement. Not only that, but he managed to make the girly bits raise their hand for attention. Mr. Triple T is dangerous! Turning to face him, he’s watching me with a smirk. “You’re beautiful,” he says with a hint of sincerity. This guy is hell on my hormones. I feel my flesh flush with embarrassment. I don’t get the chance to respond before his index finger traces the outline of my jaw. “Don’t mind me,” Stacy says from her towel beside me. The sound of her voice has me jerking away from him and sitting up. Shit! What the hell am I doing? “Nice to see you again, Michael,” Stacy greets him. “Likewise. What do you two beautiful ladies have planned for this evening?” “Nothing, you got any suggestions?” Stacy retorts, effectively leaving me out of the conversation. It’s just as well. I’m not sure I can find my voice after . . . that. “I can throw some steaks on the grill, if you’re interested,” he suggests. “What do you think, Paige?” she puts emphasis on my name. “I don’t know, Lynn,” I fire back. Remembering my vow to live it up this week and take chances, I turn to Michael. “Are you any good?” He smirks and my face instantly heats. I meant at grilling, but by the look on his face, he’s taking it to a whole other level. “Trust me, I’m the best you’ve ever had.” Holy shit. All right then. This guy is lethal. “Great, what time do you want us? We’ll bring dessert,” Stacy offers.
“Nope, not necessary. I’ve got everything covered. You leave it all to me.” He winks as he stands and pats the sand from his ass. My eyes follow his hands. He clears his throat, causing my eyes to travel up his toned body to find his. “See you soon,” he purrs. Yes, he fucking purred, and my body is responding just as I’m sure he hoped or, hell, even knew that it would. I don’t take my eyes off him as he makes his retreat. “What the hell was that?” Stacy squeals. “I don’t really know,” I say honestly. I tell her what happened while she was sleeping right next to us. “He wants you, Logan! He’s exactly what you need,” she informs me. “Oh, really? What exactly brings you to this conclusion, oh, wise one?” Holding up her hand, she begins to tick off items one by one. “One, his body, he’s a sex god. Two, you need a real man to show you how good it can be. Three, you need to let loose and live a little. This guy is perfect for that. We leave here in a week. Take full advantage of what he is so obviously offering and enjoy every damn second of it.” She makes a good point on all counts, but that’s never been me. I’ve never been a fling kind of girl. My first was in high school. He was my boyfriend for eight months before we decided to go all the way. It was quick and nothing to brag about. We broke up at graduation, both going to colleges hundreds of miles apart. We weren’t in love, but we did have a . . . fondness for each other. The only other guy I’ve slept with was Daniel. I’ve never had an orgasm during sex. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and he didn’t care enough to realize I was always faking it. Something tells me I wouldn’t have that problem with Michael. “Stop thinking so damn much, just go with it. You’re Paige, remember?” Stacy prompts, trying to get me to loosen up. My mind wanders to Daniel and how he’s done this for years behind my back, when we were ‘taking a break.’ I can do this. What’s the harm in flirting with a gorgeous guy who seems to be interested? “Let’s just see how it goes,” I tell her. She knows me well enough to know she’s wearing me down. Her grin tells me so.
Michael is on the deck when we arrive. From the smell coming from his grill, he’s already started dinner. Grabbing my hand, Stacy pulls me up the steps. At the sound of our footsteps, he looks over his shoulder and a grin lights his face. He really is beautiful. I’m sure he would scoff at being referred to as beautiful. Just thinking about his response brings a smile to my face. “Is that smile for me¸ gorgeous?” Shit! I was too busy thinking about the man himself to notice he is now standing toe to toe with me, his hot breath against my ear. “Food smells good,” I respond. “So do you,” is his reply before he stands to his full height and walks back toward the grill. Fighting my body’s reaction to him, I take a seat at the table next to Stacy. “That boy wants in your panties,” she whispers. “Pfft. There’s nothing boyish about him.” “Trust me, girl. I have eyes.” She licks her lips and winks at me. “Ladies . . .” His deep voice flows over me. “ . . . these are just about ready. I’m going to bring the rest of it out and we can eat.” I watch his every move as he steps through the French doors and makes quick work of collecting items in the kitchen. A few minutes later, he has two big bowls in his hands and a swarm of other things. I know the polite thing to do would be to ask him if he needs help, but I can’t. His arms are huge and look even more so as they flex to carry it all. I stare at his tattoos gracing each ripple of muscle on both arms. One arm has a full sleeve while the other seems to stop just above his elbow. I can’t pull my eyes from him. “Let us help,” Stacy says as her elbow meets my arm. This effectively breaks the spell I’m under. Focusing on the task at hand, she and I set up the plates, potato salad, and baked beans. Stacy opens a bag of chips and I finish pouring us each a glass of iced tea just as Michael sets a platter in the middle of the table filled with steaks that appear to be grilled to perfection. My mouth waters just
looking at them. “Dinner is served.” He winks and begins piling his plate with the feast he has prepared. “Did you make all of this yourself?” Stacy asks. He laughs. “No. I’m not really much of a cook unless it can be grilled. I actually called a place in town and had them put together the rest,” he admits. “So you cheated?” I have no idea why I asked that question. He doesn’t reply, but his eyes, the color of the very ocean we are sitting in front of, sparkle with mischief. “So what brings you to Hawaii?” Stacy asks. He chews the bite of steak he just took and even that is hot. “Just needed to get a way. My career is very demanding, so it’s nice to step back from it. What about the two of you?” “We actually just graduated from college. This trip was a present from our parents. We’ve been roommates since freshman year, so they thought it was a good idea to send us off to this beautiful place to celebrate,” Stacy spills. He nods. “That’s a great gift. You must have great parents.” “Yeah, we’re really fortunate,” I chime in. Can’t let him know he affects me. We finish our dinner and both Stacy and I insist on helping him clean up. Afterwards, Michael suggests we walk down to the beach. He grabs us each a bottle of beer and we head for the water. Michael and Stacy stop just before the waves, but I continue on, letting the warm water flow over my feet. This place is breathtaking, and I’m sure it will be a memory I will cherish forever. “Mind if I join you?” His voice causes me to jump. He reaches out and rests his hand on my bare shoulder. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” I offer him a shy smile. “I was lost in thought.” I turn back to the expanse of the ocean before us. “I want to commit this view to memory.” “Yeah, I know what you mean,” he says. Turning to face him, I mean to ask him where Stacy is, but the look in his eyes stops me. He’s not looking at the sunset; he’s looking right at me. I swallow the lump in my throat. Those eyes, I’ve never seen eyes that shade of blue before. This view is just as breathtaking as the one I was just admiring. I remind myself that I’m Paige to him. Live a little, that’s what I promised Stacy I would do. Forcing my eyes from his, not wanting to seem like a crazy girl, I look over my shoulder and discover Stacy isn’t there. “Where’s—” He answers me before I’m finished. “She said she wasn’t feeling well. Something about too much sun. She said she was going to go lie down and that you should stay and enjoy the view without her.” It’s with those words that I realize she’s pushing me toward him, to take a chance on a fling with this sexy stranger. I’m also positive the view she’s talking about is six foot two and standing right in front of me; it has nothing to do with Mother Nature. Michael reaches out and takes my hand. He laces his fingers through mine and leads me back to the dry sand. “Let’s sit.” I settle beside him on the sand, and he doesn’t release my hand. “Tell me more about your
family,” he asks. Okay, this is not what I was expecting. Is this how a fling works? Do you . . . talk first? “Well, my parents have been married for twenty-five years. They met in college and married right after graduation. I have a younger brother who is starting Ohio State University in the fall. Not sure what else there is to tell.” “I just like the sound of your voice. I don’t care what you say, just . . . talk.” There is sincerity in his voice, mix that with my already nervous state, and I start spewing words just like he asked. I talk about college and how Stacy . . . Lynn and I have been roommates and best friends since day one. I talk about my major and how I have a new job I’m starting next week. I leave out where I’m working and he doesn’t seem to notice. I try to leave out as many identifying details as I possibly can. This is a fling after all, and I don’t know this guy. I stop talking as panic sets in. I’m sitting with a complete stranger in the dark on a private beach. What the hell am I thinking? “Hey, you okay?” He places his large hand on my knee. How is he already in tune with my emotions? “Yeah.” I scoot a little further away from him. “What happened? What did I do?” Again, the sincerity in his voice is telling me I can trust him. “Tell me.” He tucks a piece of hair, which has broken free from my ponytail, behind my ear. “Talk to me,” he urges. I suck in a deep breath, letting the ocean air fill my lungs, and then slowly exhale. “I was just thinking that I don’t really know you, that I’m sitting on a private beach with a complete stranger,” I admit. I watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. “G, hey man, it’s me. Yeah, no I’m good. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. I’m sitting here with the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. We just had dinner and watched the sun set over the ocean. Her name is Paige. I want you to answer any questions she might have about me personally.” He then hands me the phone. “Hello?” I say hesitantly. “You must be something else to have my boy tied up in knots like this. Paige, was it?” he asks. “Yes,” I answer. “So what do you want to know?” “I just . . . well, I just was thinking that it might not be the smartest move to be sitting on a private beach at night with a guy I barely know,” I repeat the words, not really knowing what else to say. A deep chuckle booms over the line. “Let me tell you something, sweetheart, you couldn’t be in better hands. My boy will take good care of you. Hell, he sounds excited to be there with you, and lately, well, let’s just say that lately he’s not been himself. I can already tell this trip has been good for him. I assume I have you to thank for that,” he says. “We just met earlier today,” I argue. “Doesn’t matter. Something has him sounding like his old self, and since I’m not there, you get all the credit.” “Thank you,” I say, because what else do I say to that? I hand the phone back to Michael, and he tells his friend thank you and then hangs up. “I know talking to a friend of mine isn’t the best form of reassurance, but I hope it at least helped
a little?” he asks, hopeful. “He said I couldn’t be in better hands,” I tell him. This causes him to smile. “G and I go way back. Listen, Paige, I would like to spend more time with you while we’re both here. I’ll be gone most of the day tomorrow, but the next day, can I see you?” Again, his voice sounds hopeful and maybe a little hesitant. “I’d like that.” “Good, let’s get you home.” He stands and offers me his hand once again, lacing his fingers through mine. We walk in silence with nothing but the sound of the waves between us. When we reach my house, I let go of his hand and turn to face him. “Thank you for dinner and for your company tonight. I really did have a good time, even though I freaked out a little there at the end,” the words spew from my mouth. “I can’t wait to see you again.” His words cause a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. I’m excited to spend more time with him. Deciding to take a chance, I stand on my tiptoes and place a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for tonight. I’ll see you soon.” And without giving him a chance to reply, I begin my journey up the steps leading into the house, not once looking over my shoulder.
I wake to the sun rising over the ocean and a gentle breeze flowing through my bedroom window. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow last night. Stacy and I took in what feels like all of Hawaii yesterday. We ended our night at a luau. It was amazing, as was the way those dancers moved. Today is a new day. It’s also the day I agreed to see Michael again. I don’t even know what that means really. Are we going to hang out at his place, or ours? Are we just going to chill on the beach? I don’t know, but I’m excited to see what the day holds. After we’ve both showered, Stacy and I sit on the deck and drink our coffee, just enjoying the beauty that is Hawaii. She and I both need at least two cups before we feel human. This is an addiction we both picked up in college. Ready for my second cup, I reach for Stacy’s before heading inside to fill up both. I hear him before I see him. Michael’s deep voice filters through the open door as he talks to Stacy. I’m giddy at the thought of seeing him again. Squaring my shoulders and wiping the huge-ass grin off my face, I walk back out to the deck and set Stacy’s coffee in front of her. “Michael, hi. Did you want a cup?” I raise my steaming cup of Joe in the air. “No, actually, I was wondering what you ladies had on your agenda today?” “We got nothing,” Stacy answers before I can. “Good, how would you like to spend the day with me?” He then focuses his gaze on me, those blue eyes sparkling in the morning sun. “You said I could see you today, so I took the liberty of chartering a . . . boat. I thought the three of us could spend the day on the water.” “Hell, yeah! That sounds awesome.” Stacy jumps out of her chair, still holding her coffee and not spilling a drop. How she managed to do that, I have no idea. “Let’s go, woman!” she yells over her shoulder. “Get your ass changed, adventure awaits.” She disappears into the house. I stand to follow her when I feel his strong arm wrap around my waist. He lowers his lips to my ear. “I’ve been counting down the minutes until I saw you again. You’re beautiful in the morning sun.” He kisses my neck right below my ear, so soft and so quick that if my body was not humming for his, I might have missed it. He releases me and I continue forward
into the house. Turns out, the boat Michael chartered is actually a yacht. It’s spectacular and is an experience neither Stacy nor I would have gotten had we not run into him. Michael takes us on a tour of the yacht, and it’s eye opening to see how the other half lives. My parents are middle class; they both work hard for what we have. We’ve never wanted for anything, always having the comforts of home, clean clothes, new shoes, and food on the table, but this . . . this is not something that would ever have been within our means. Brunch is prepared for us on the top deck. Michael waves his arm toward the stairs, allowing us to go first. Stacy shoots up the steps, eager to see more. I take a more leisurely approach. One, because I don’t want to fall on my face and embarrass myself, and two, I’m hoping to get another stolen moment with him. He doesn’t disappoint as he joins me on the stairs and rests his hand on the small of my back, leading me. The heat of his touch filters through my thin tank, which is saying a lot considering the temperature out here today. Brunch is delicious and the company is even better. The three of us fall into easy conversation. Stacy drills Michael with questions about the yacht; she’s suddenly fascinated. This leads us to a visit with the captain of our vessel. He offers to let Stacy stand at the wheel, and she gleefully accepts. Michael and I retreat to the lower-level deck where there is more shade. “He’s not really going to let her drive this thing, is he?” I ask Michael. He throws his head back and laughs. “Yeah, but it’s easy. All she has to do is steer. He won’t let us get off course.” “If you say so,” I mutter. I mean, really, we’re in the middle of the freaking ocean. She should not be in control. We sit in silence, just enjoying the day, eventually the lull of the waves and the gentle motion of the beast of a boat rock me to sleep. I wake later to see the sun setting in the sky. Michael stands when he sees that I’m awake. “Hey, sleepyhead,” he whispers the words. As I allow him to pull me to my feet, we hit a heavy wave, causing the boat to rock and me to lose my balance. Michael catches me with ease as I fall into his arms. Once I’ve regained my balance, he doesn’t let go. Instead, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him, my chest aligned with his. “What . . . what are we doing?” “Well, I would like to say we’re dancing,” he replies. “But there’s no music,” I counter. He’s already shaking his head. “We don’t need it.” “I can’t dance without music,” I try again. It’s my nerves talking. I should just shut up and enjoy having his arms wrapped around me. “Damn it, woman. I just needed an excuse to have you in my arms, but if it’s music you want . . .” He begins to hum a tune I’m not familiar with, but it doesn’t dampen the moment. This is by far the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me. During this trip, since I’ve met Michael, I’ve had more romance in my life than I have ever had before. How pathetic is that? “Hey, you two, dinner ’s ready!” Stacy yells over the railing of the upper deck. Michael halts his humming and his movement. Leaning down, he places a soft kiss against my
forehead. He says nothing more as he places his hand on the small of my back and once again leads me up the stairs.
“Michael, this was so much fun!” Stacy says for the third time. Who would have thought that being at the helm of a boat would make such an impression on her? “I’m glad you enjoyed it. What about you?” He glances over at me, before turning his eyes back to the road. “It was a great day. I was worried with Stacy driving, but we made it back to land safely,” I tease. She reaches to the front of his Jeep and smacks my arm. “Hey, we were never in any danger,” she scoffs. Looking back at her, I grin. This causes her to stick her tongue out at me. Michael pulls into our driveway and turns off the engine. Stacy is out of the car and walking toward the house, leaving the two of us alone. Taking off his seat belt, he turns in his seat to face me. Self-conscious with his eyes on me, I reach up and try to smooth away my windblown hair. Reaching over, he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips. The other takes over the job of smoothing my hair, tucking a few pieces behind my ear. It’s much more intimate when he does it. “I enjoyed spending the day with you,” he tells me, those blue eyes never leaving mine. “I had a great time, thank you for inviting us.” I remember my manners. “It was my pleasure, thank you for coming along. It would not have been the same without you there.” “You’re eyes are . . . beautiful,” I blurt out. I cringe, knowing he’s going to hate being called beautiful. I can’t believe I let that slip. At least I spoke the truth. Leaning his body toward me, he murmurs, “Beautiful, you say? Maybe you should get a closer look.” He leans in a little further. My body betrays me and leans forward as well. We’re close, so close that I can feel his breath against my lips. “It’s dark. I can’t see,” I say stupidly. I know he knows that and is using it as an excuse to get closer. Gah! I’m such a dork. I don’t know how to act. “Doesn’t matter, Paige. All that matters is that your lips connect with mine, sooner rather than later.” “But I . . .” “Can I kiss you, Paige?” He traces my bottom lip with his thumb. “Can I taste these soft lips? I need to know how they feel against mine.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer before closing the distance and pressing his lips where his finger just traced. My heart jolts, and there’s a heavy rise and fall of my chest just from his touch. Michael growls and his tongue slips past my lips. His tongue dances with mine as our kiss grows more passionate. I have to stop this before it goes any further. Placing my hands against his chest, I push lightly. He slows the kiss and eventually pulls away. “You taste so fucking sweet.” WOW.
No one has ever talked to me like that before, never lost themselves in the passion of just being next to me, kissing me. “I was afraid if I didn’t stop you, I wouldn’t,” I confess. “When you decide to let me inside you, I can guarantee it will not be in my fucking Jeep. You deserve better than that.” “How do you know? What makes you think I deserve better?” Gah! I wish I could just keep my damn mouth shut. Resting his forehead against mine, eyes wide open, he says, “Because I see you.” Pulling back, he softly places his lips on mine for a very brief final kiss before reaching for his door handle and climbing out of the car. I watch as he walks around the Jeep and opens my door, offering me his hand.
It’s been two days since I’ve seen Michael. He stopped by yesterday, but we were already out and about. He left a note on the door to call him, or stop by when we got in. I made sure we were out the door bright and early and in late, spending the day shopping. I knew he would try to see me, and I’m . . . scared. Michael is a man’s man. He knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to take it. I’m scared to death that if I let things progress between us, he will eat me alive. I confide this in my best friend. “Yes! Hell yes. That is exactly what you want him to do,” Stacy says. “Stacy, come on. He would be disappointed, and besides that, I’m not a fling person. I’ve told you this. I just don’t have it in me.” “You do. You also have all that fear that you’re holding onto. We’ve spent time with him. He’s a good guy. Hell, he called his best friend and had you talk to him. You need to live for you, no one else.” “I couldn’t agree more.” Michael’s deep voice causes me to shiver. Just the sound of it brings me back to his Jeep and the kiss we shared. I’ve never in my life been kissed with so much passion and need. I’ve never had a kiss turn me on from zero to sixty so quickly either. Mr. Triple T has made kissing an art form. Just another item to add to the long list of why I would disappoint him. “Michael,” his name slips past my lips. “Paige.” Nothing else, just my name on his lips. “I’m going to go get some more ice for the cooler. Be back in a few.” Stacy winks at me and walks toward the house. Traitor. Michael sits next to me on the sand. “Why are you avoiding me, Paige?” “I’m not,” I lie. “We’ve just been busy.” “I call bullshit, beautiful. I can see it in your eyes.” I’m just going to throw it out there, so he can move on, so we both can. “I’m not as . . . experienced as you, and flings are not really my thing. Not only would I be out of my comfort zone, but knowing that you would be disappointed . . . well, I can’t deal with that. Avoidance is easier.” I
cannot believe I just confessed that. Reaching over, he grabs my hand. “Paige . . . it can only be for the time we’re here, but I would like to think that what we would share between us would be more than a fling. My career is . . . complicated. I wish things could be different. For the first time in my life, I wish things were different, but the reality is they’re not.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses each of my knuckles. “As far as experience goes, you could never disappoint me. I know how to give your body what it needs to make you respond to me. I don’t want to watch you leave here in two days without knowing what it feels like to be inside of you.” “Michael, I—” He places his index finger over my lips. “Don’t deny it, Paige. There’s a burning attraction between us. Let me show you how we can be. We’ll both walk away not with the memory of a fling, but the memory of an amazing night we spent together.” I want this. I want to experience what it would be like to be with him. He’s right about the attraction; it’s been there from the very beginning. I’m taking a risk, living life to the fullest. “Yes,” I whisper the words. I’m surprised he can hear me from the thunderous beat of my heart mixed with the roar of the ocean. He does though, and his face lights up. Leaning in, his lips graze my ear. “Tomorrow night, you’re mine. Have dinner with Lynn, since it’s your last night here, but when the two of you are done, come to me. I want you in my bed.” I can only nod, not able to find my words. He stands, pats the sand from his ass, and walks away from me. “Bye, Michael,” Stacy calls after him. He raises his hand, but keeps on walking. “What was that about?” My eyes follow him until they can no longer. “Logan!” Stacy says my name louder this time. “That was me agreeing to spend tomorrow night in his bed.” “Finally! Hell, yes you are. I’m so freaking excited for you. Girl, I want details,” she rambles on while all I can do is replay his words. Tomorrow night you’re mine. I want you in my bed. Holy Hell!
Tonight’s the night, our last night in Hawaii and my night with Michael. I’ve shaved and lathered lotion over every inch of my body. Stacy insisted we eat an early dinner, so I could go to him sooner. I fought her on it, but didn’t win. So here I am, with one final glance in the mirror, ready for a night I’m sure to never forget. “Stacy, I’m heading out. I’ll see you in a little while.” “The hell you will. You spend the night with the mountain of hotness. I’ll see you in the morning.” She walks me to the door. “Let go, enjoy him.” She winks and shuts the door. I can’t believe we’re actually discussing me spending the night with him, and the implication that we’re going to sleep together. I mean, yes, that’s what happening, but Stacy and I were just discussing
it like the weather. As I make my way down to the beach, I see a dark figure sitting on the sand. As the figure stands, I know it’s him. Michael. I stop and wait for him to come to me. Once he’s within touching distance, he snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me into his chest. “No way am I letting you walk on this beach alone at night.” He kisses my temple and we begin the walk to his place. My palms are sweaty and my knees are weak. I can’t believe I’m here. That I’m walking into this guy’s house, a guy I’ve known for a week. I can’t even really consider knowing him; he’s more of an acquaintance, one I’ve agreed to share my body with. It’s not too late. I can still back out. The only problem is that I don’t want to. His words play in my mind and he’s right. I don’t want to leave here not knowing what it’s like to have him inside me. This attraction between us is like nothing I’ve ever felt. Moving forward with life, I want no regrets. Standing in his kitchen, taking in the layout similar to ours, I feel a sudden calm wash over me. I’m doing this, living for me, living with no regrets. Large hands grip my hips and pull me against a rock-hard chest. Burying his face in my neck, he inhales deeply. It’s erotic as hell, especially the moan that sounds from deep in the back of his throat. “You smell sweet.” His words are whispered against my ear. “Do you know how badly I want to see if you taste just as sweet?” The calm is gone and I realize I’m in over my head with this guy. He screams experience and kinky sex. I’m used to once a week wham bam roll over and roll out. Something tells me this is not going to be the case with Michael. “Did you eat?” he asks as his lips make contact with my neck. He nips and sucks, sending an electrical current throughout my body. I nod, giving him my answer. I’m afraid to speak, afraid he’ll remove his lips from my skin. “Good.” Spinning me in his arms, his lips crash with mine. I’m standing on my toes trying to get closer to him. I need to be closer. Unfortunately, his six-foot plus frame towers over my five foot four, and I release a frustrated growl. I hear his deep chuckle next to my ear and I want to be irritated that he’s laughing at my expense; however, when those big calloused hands of his grip my ass, I let go of my anger and wrap my legs around him like a damn monkey. Finally, at this angle, he’s able to push his tongue past my lips, giving me a preview of just how talented he is. Breaking away from this kiss, we’re both breathing heavily. Even if we go no further than this moment right here, this has already been the hottest moment of my life. Michael sets me gently on what feels like a mound of clouds. My white sundress is bunched up around my waist, my matching white thong, my only other article of clothing, is drenched with my desire for him. Embarrassment floods me and I bow my head, hoping he won’t notice the red tint of my cheeks. I’m not that lucky. With his index finger under my chin, he lifts gently so that I’m looking into those captivating blue eyes. “Don’t hide from me,” he scolds. “I . . . I’m not,” I manage to push the words past my lips. “Bullshit. Tell me what you were thinking,” he demands.
I try to turn my head, but he tightens his grip, not letting me avoid my embarrassment. “Nothing,” I try again to avoid him. “Paige,” he growls my name and heat floods my body. I sigh in defeat. He’s not going to let this go. “I’m wet,” I whisper. I don’t know why I’m letting this affect me the way I am. This is a one-night thing. I fly out tomorrow and I’ll never see him again, yet my embarrassment still holds strong. Leaning down so that we are nose to nose, he says, “I know,” with a cocky grin. “Pfft, you haven’t even touched me,” I fire back. His hand clasps the back of my neck and he rests his forehead against mine. His free hand works its way across my thigh until he reaches the band of my thong. “You mean here?” he asks as his finger slides underneath the thin barrier. “I can smell you, beautiful.” His lips find mine in a searing kiss. Breaking away, he trails kisses across my cheek. I tilt my head, giving him complete access. His teeth graze my ear. “Now I’m going to find out if you taste just as sweet.” Holy Mother of all that is holy! Michael doesn’t give me time to react. His hands grip each side of my thong and he tears it from my body. Holy hell, that’s hot! I’ve never had a man talk to me like he does, demand what he wants, not like this. Not to the point that my body melts for him. Lifting my hips, he moves me up higher on the bed, climbing in after me. His blue eyes, burning liquid pools of fire, rake across my body. Resting on my elbows, I watch him, waiting, anticipating his next move. His hand cups my cheek. “Relax, beautiful, let me take care of you.” His words are a whispered demand. I don’t hesitate to do as he says. I lay my head against the pillow and throw my arm over my eyes. “Open for me, Paige. Let me see you.” My embarrassment is long gone as I shamelessly spread my thighs, inviting him in. Live with no regrets. His hot breath is the first indication that he’s . . . there. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from crying out, to keep myself from begging him to touch me. The feel of his index finger sliding through my folds causes my back to arch off the bed. “Shh,” he whispers against me. One hand traces me and my desire for him. The other travels up my stomach, until his hand is resting over my heart. “I got you, just feel,” he says as his lips make contact with my skin. My heart is racing. I’m sure it’s going to thump right out of my chest. He has to feel it against the palm of his hand. He moans and the vibration sends me into an orgasmic bliss. One like I’ve never known. The sensation hits me so hard my vision blurs as I cry out. As I return from my blissful state, he’s there, his lips and hands caressing my breasts like it’s the first and the last time he’ll ever be able to witness such a marvel. Of course I know this is not the case. Any man who looks like Michael and can use his tongue like that . . . women are not in short supply for a guy like him.
Releasing my breast with a pop, he rests his arms on either side of my head. His hand glides across my forehead, effectively removing my hair from my eyes. He hovers over me, eyes still burning with desire. “I was right,” he says with a wink. In my current state of mind, I don’t catch his meaning. “About what?” I ask. With a smirk, he leans in so we are nose-to-nose, eyes locked. “You do taste as good as you smell.” I suck in a shocked breath at his words. My surprise doesn’t faze him as his lips travel from one ear, down and across my neck, to the other. He’s driving me crazy, pushing buttons I didn’t know could be pushed, and I want more. I want it all. “Tell me,” he says, reading my mind. How he does that is beyond me. How he’s already so in tune with me, with my body. I wrap my legs around his waist, lifting my hips to rub against him. Hoping that will show him what I want. “I need your words, Paige. Tell me what you want.” He rocks his hips, causing his erection to slide against me. I don’t even try to stop the moan that escapes my lips. “Please,” I beg him. I can’t believe it’s come to this, but if begging is what it takes, then so be it. “I can make it go away. The ache.” He rocks his hips again, causing me to cry out. “I can fill the void, Paige. I just need to hear you say the words.” “Please,” I try again. “Tell me,” he breathes against my ear. “I want you inside me, please.” Seconds, mere seconds it takes him to sheath his length with protection and slide into me. No warning, just one solid thrust of his hips. He stills once he’s there. I watch as he squeezes his eyes closed tightly. I don’t move, afraid he’ll pull out. I don’t want that. I want him to move, to get rid of the ache like he said. I’m once again surprised by this mountain of a man when his forehead rests against mine. “So fucking tight,” he whispers as if he’s talking to himself. Not able to take it, I lift my hips. This causes a smile to light up his face. His eyes remain closed, forehead resting against mine, smile broad as he rocks his hips. I close my eyes and let his body command mine. My nails dig into his back as his thrusts become more demanding. “Open your eyes,” he growls into my ear. My eyes pop open, and he’s there, so close, watching, never breaking his rhythm as he moves inside of me. “Watch me. I want you to see who’s inside you when you come.” His words, that’s all it takes for me to once again fall off the cliff of bliss known as Michael. I cry out his name at the same time he shouts, “Paige!” His body rests against mine and I welcome the weight. I welcome the reminder that what just happened was real, that I just had the best sex of my life with a stranger.
I wake with a start and take in my surroundings. When I feel a heavy arm around my waist, it all comes rushing back to me. Michael. We took full advantage of each other ’s bodies until just about an hour ago. The clock reads five a.m. Our flight leaves at eight, so I need to get moving. Carefully, I slip from underneath his arm. He grunts in protest, but doesn’t wake up. I don’t want to wake him. I don’t want to deal with the awkward goodbye, but I feel like I should at least say thank you or have a nice life, something. I study his naked body, committing every ridged muscle, every swirl of ink to memory. “Thank you,” I whisper. I quietly step from his room, carrying my sundress. Once I’m in the living room, I slide my sundress over my head, throw my panties in the trash and slip my feet into my flip-flops. I find a pad of paper on the counter.
Leaving the note on the counter where he will be sure to see it, I quietly slip out the French doors for my first ever walk of shame.
As soon as we board our flight, I hunker down into my seat and close my eyes. Stacy wants details and I’m not ready to give them to her. Having just experienced the greatest night of my life, I just need to process it. I’ve already committed every detail, every second to memory. I’m going to replay it in my mind until we land back in Tennessee. Then Michael and our time together will be left to a memory, an experience of which I will never forget. I can’t let myself dwell on my whirlwind romance. I’m starting a new job tomorrow, and I need to move forward with my plan of focusing on me. The last three years have been geared toward Daniel and me and the life he led me to believe would someday soon be ours. It hits me that I didn’t even think of Daniel during our time in Hawaii. At least not after I met Michael. Although we only met days before, he knew what I needed. He could read my body. The feel of his calloused hands as they travelled every inch of my body will be a feeling I’m sure I will never forget. “I know you’re not really sleeping,” Stacy says. Shit! Of course she does. We’ve lived together for the past four years; she knows me better than I know myself, and I her. Turning to face her, I tell her what I’m sure she already knows or at least assumes. “I’m just replaying it in my mind. It was . . . I don’t have the words.” Stacy grins. “Finally! I know you’re not one to kiss and tell, but you have to give me something,” she begs. “He was . . . demanding but gentle. He knew what I wanted, what I needed without me telling him. It was like we had known each other for years, not mere days.” “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but your experience is nothing to write home about. We have your first time, what was it, senior prom? I believe you said it was a few grunts and it was over. Your second experience was Daniel. He was too damn busy finding his next quick roll and telling you he needed space to worry about satisfying you in the bedroom.” I flinch at her words. Not because they hurt me and they’re all true. No, I flinch at the reminder of how I let him treat me. I let myself get lost in the fairy-tale future that he promised.
Never again. “Yeah,” I finally say, offering her a small smile. “I can’t believe I let myself become that person.” Stacy covers my hand with hers. “You’re a dreamer, Logan. You want to fall in love and live happily ever after. There’s nothing wrong with that.” “Pfft. I’ve come to realize that finding that one person is rare. So rare in fact, I’m not sure I still believe there is one person for everyone.” Daniel has officially scarred me, and my beliefs of the heart. “That’s a shame. Look at your parents, look at my parents. It’s real. The complication is finding that person, and when you do, risking your heart to let them in. Taking the jump and hoping they fall with you.” “I don’t see myself jumping anytime soon,” I tell her. She doesn’t respond and, eventually, we both really do fall asleep. Michael kept me up late, but you will never hear me complain about it. How can I complain about Mr. Tall, Tatted, and Toned giving me the best sex, the best night of my life? That’s my last thought as I drift off to sleep. All too soon, Stacy is tapping my arm to wake me up. I was dreaming about him, about Michael and our night together. We quickly grab our luggage and drag it to my car, which we left in the airport parking lot. My beat-up old Sentra is still kicking. Sadly, she doesn’t look like much, but she’s never let me down. “Hawaii was beautiful, but I’m glad to be home,” Stacy says as we head toward our apartment. Michael hovering above me last night flashes through my mind. “Yeah,” I say wistfully. This causes Stacy to laugh. “Suck it up, buttercup. There are plenty of fish in the sea.” I roll my eyes and continue to drive us home. We’re quiet the remainder of the drive. We’re both starting new jobs and moving on to the next phase of our life. I always thought it would be Daniel by my side, but I couldn’t be happier that it’s Stacy, my best friend. I know that no matter what, she will always be there. For now, that’s all I need. “Home at last,” Stacy says as soon as we are inside our apartment. We drop our bags by the door and head for the couch. Stacy starts sifting through the mail and hands me half the pile. My eyes immediately latch on to the large white envelope bearing the Stone Records’ logo. Giddy excitement runs through me. I’m excited about this job. I carefully tear open the envelope and pull out its contents. The front page is a ‘welcome to the team’ letter. The letter provides me with the address of where I’m expected to report tomorrow and informs me I’m to meet a Mr. Jones. Included in the packet is all my new hire paperwork. The final piece is my working contract. It outlines my salary as well as duties. I was hired as an assistant, but by reading the document, it appears I will be a personal assistant to a Mr. Warren. I will be responsible for managing his schedule, as well as the staff at his homes. Homes? Holy shit, who is this guy? Must be some bigwig with the label. As I continue reading, I realize I’m supposed to basically assist this Mr. Warren with all aspects of his life. Including miscellaneous duties as assigned. To most, reading the contract alone could potentially scare them from the job. Not me, I welcome the challenge. Welcome the distraction of being able to throw myself into my work. I’ve always been an overachiever. When I called my parents to tell them about my new job, my mother even commented that this would be the perfect position for me. I got this!
“That’s a big smile,” Stacy comments. My grin gets bigger. “Yeah. I’m really excited about this.” I wave the packet of paper in my hands. “I’m happy for you, Logan.” “Thank you. I’m going to go pick out my clothes for tomorrow and complete this mountain of paperwork.” I stand to head toward my room. “Logan.” I turn to face her. “I’m here, you know, if you need to talk,” she says gently. I offer her a smile. “Thanks, Stace.” “He didn’t . . . he didn’t hurt you, did he?” The question throws me off guard. “What? No, of course not.” Her shoulders sag with relief. “It’s just that you’ve been quiet, and I was worried.” Taking a deep breath, I let her words sink in. She’s right. Any other time, I would be chatting it up with her nonstop. But something about what I shared with Michael has me being selfish, wanting the memory just for me. “He didn’t hurt me. If anything, he ruined me for all other men.” I wink at her and turn back around and head for my room. That is as much as I’m going to give her right now, and from the smile on her face, it’s enough to calm her fears, but not enough to keep her from badgering me with questions later.
Today’s the day, the first day of my new job. I dress in a gray pencil skirt with a white flowing top. I step into my black heels and my look is complete. Stacy left already for her first day as well. I don’t have to report until ten. If that’s how this job continues, things are going to be just fine. I grab my purse, check that I have my phone and the packet of paperwork that took me hours to complete, and I’m on my way. I pull up the GPS on my phone and type in the address. It’s not one located in downtown, so I have no idea where I’m going. As I drive, I get further away from the city limits. I start to worry when the GPS says that in one mile I will have reached my destination. Well, all right then. I know the address I entered is correct, I triple checked it, so I continue to drive. When my GPS tells me I have reached my destination, I pull into the gated drive. I stop at the speaker and hit the buzzer. “Yes,” a voice comes over the speaker. “Hi, I’m Logan Andrews. I’m here to meet with Mr. Jones,” I speak to the box. There is no reply, but the gate clicks opens. I drive past the wrought-iron panels up the long paved driveway. I reach a house, well not just a house, a freaking mansion in the woods. Parking my car, I take a deep breath, gather my belongings, and make my way to the front door. Just as I reach the top step, the door swings open. “Logan Andrews,” the girl says. “Yes,” I say politely. She thrusts her hand out toward me. “Nice to meet you. I’m Cassidy, Mr. Jones’ personal
assistant. He’s expecting you.” I follow her into the house and down a long hallway. She leads us into a large sitting room. In the room, there are four guys. One, who I assume is Mr. Jones, is dressed in a suit, and three others are drop-dead gorgeous. All three of them are covered in tattoos and are completely lickable. My mind wanders to Michael and how I traced his ink with my tongue. I’ve since added getting a tattoo to my list of “things to do.” Daniel never would have approved. “Mr. Jones, Logan Andrews is here to see you,” Cassidy introduces me. I can feel their eyes on me. Mr. Jones stands from his seat and walks toward me. “You’re Logan?” he asks as if he’s appalled. “Yes, sir,” I say, keeping my voice strong. “Holy shit! He’s going to kill you,” one of the guys says. I keep my attention on Mr. Jones. He’s rubbing his temple as if the thought of me being female stresses him out. “Is there an issue, sir?” I boldly ask him. His shoulders sag. “No, no issue really. You see, I hired you to be the personal assistant of Kacen Warren. Does that name ring a bell to you?” he asks me. “No, sir,” I reply. Again, he releases a heavy sigh. “Kacen is the lead singer for the rock band Soul Serenade. These knuckle heads”—he points over his shoulder—“are his bandmates. Kacen has gone through several female personal assistants in the last few months, and he demanded that the next one be male,” he explains. The look on my face must say it all, as he hurries to explain. “Kacen is great to work for. It’s these three who keep running them off. They can’t seem to keep it in their pants, and when they dump her, she quits, leaving Kacen and the band without a personal assistant.” “So, am I working for Kacen or the band?” I ask, confused. I’ve heard of them, my little brother is a fan. However, I don’t know much about them. “Come sit.” He reaches for my arm and pulls me into the room. He motions for me to take the chair that sits opposite of the one he was in when we arrived. “Technically, you work for Kacen, but he started the band. There are a lot of things that he prefers to take care of personally, and he uses his personal assistant to do that.” “So Kacen is going to be angry that I’m female? Do I even still have the job?” I ask him. “Yes, the job is yours. I’ll talk to him. This was an honest misunderstanding. The three of you,”—he points around the room—“she’s off-limits, do you hear me?” They all nod their agreement with grins on their faces. “So where is he?” I ask, wondering when I will get to meet my new boss. Mr. Jones looks up at his assistant. “His flight lands late this afternoon. I’ve scheduled a car to pick him up,” Cassidy reports. “We just finished touring and each took some time off. Kacen has a recording studio here in his basement. We’re going to start on the next album,” one of the guys offers. “Logan, allow me to introduce you to Soul Serenade. This is Tristan. He plays the drums. That guy there is Gavin. He plays bass guitar. And here we have Cole, who plays lead guitar. Kacen also plays bass and is the lead singer.” Mr. Jones introduces us.
Raising my hand to wave at them, I say, “Nice to meet you.” In return, I get a wink and a few crude comments. I can tell these guys are going to be a handful, but harmless nonetheless. “So, what can I do?” I look toward Mr. Jones for direction. “I’ll show you what you can do,” one of the guys says. I think it was Cole. “Cut it out!” Mr. Jones snaps. “Logan, Cassidy will show you to your office here at the house. She will also get you set up with your computer, iPad, phone, etc. It already has all the guys’ information, as well as others’ that you ‘ll need.” He turns to Cassidy. “Please show her the ropes today.” Cassidy loops her arms through mine. “Trust me, I’ll make sure she knows all about each and every one of you.” She laughs, pulling me down the hallway, and stopping in front of a door just off the living area. “This is your office.” My eyes widen. I have an office here? “The majority of your time will be spent here. The band records in Kacen’s basement, and essentially you are assisting the band as well as Kacen; the two go hand in hand,” she explains. “So, Kacen started the band?” I need as much intel as I can get. “Yes, they all grew up together, formed the band in high school. I don’t know all the specifics, just that they are a tight-knit group,” Cassidy explains. “And Kacen, he wanted a male assistant?” I repeat the words that Mr. Jones told me just minutes ago. My head is still spinning from all of this. I thought I was going to be a personal assistant for a record label, not a famous rock star and his band. “Yeah, the guys like to . . . play the field, if you will. The last three assistants we’ve hired have gotten involved with at least one of them, and when they realize that it was just a hook-up, they get ticked off and quit. Kacen is tired of going through the process and advised he wanted a male. This is not information I was privileged to until today when you arrived. When I called you, if I would have known, I would have been able to stop the process. Personally, you don’t look like their usual assistants,” she rambles on. “What exactly were you expecting?” I ask. It comes out a little harsher than I meant for it to. “I didn’t mean that in a negative manner. What I mean is that you don’t look like a ‘groupie’ for lack of a better term. You strike me as someone who will not fall to their charms, put them in their place. That is exactly what they need.” “What about Kacen? He’s never run off an assistant with . . . extracurricular activities?” My question causes Cassidy to throw her head back and laugh. “That’s a great way to put it. No, Kacen is different. His extracurricular activities, as you put it, are more defined. He doesn’t play games, and he doesn’t let anyone in. Again, I don’t know the specifics, but you hear things being around this bunch. It appears he avoids any emotional attachment other than his bandmates and his parents, who are amazing.” I let her words sink in and can’t help but wonder what I have gotten myself into. “There”— Cassidy points to the desk in the center of the room—“is your MacBook Air, your iPad, and your iPhone. All provided by the label for the band’s assistant. I also ordered you a credit card, but it has yet to arrive. The guys go into the zone when recording, so you will often have to pick up takeout to keep them nourished.” “Sounds easy enough.” I smile at her even though my insides are a mess. I’m nervous about this, about being responsible for their schedule, catering to their needs. I want this job and I don’t want to
screw it up. Cassidy spends the next hour going over what she knows of the band’s routine and what is expected and what I may be asked to do. The list that she rattles off gives an entirely new meaning to ‘miscellaneous duties as assigned.’ “All right, well I need to get back to the office for a delivery that I couldn’t get changed. I should be back in an hour or so.” “What should I do in the meantime?” I ask her. She waves her hand in the air as if to dismiss my question. “Nothing today. Just hang out here with the band. Kacen’s flight lands late this afternoon. I have a car scheduled to pick him up, so he’ll be here later. You don’t really have set hours, and since you’re on salary, there will be some longs days. Today will be one of them. Mr. Jones asked that you stick around until Kacen arrives so we can get the introduction out of the way. Then you can leave and he can stew overnight on the fact that you are, indeed, female.” “Lovely.” There’s sarcasm in my voice. “Logan, I have a feeling you are just what these boys need.” “Boys,” I scoff. “Yes, boys. Trust me, once you spend some time with them, you’ll understand.” She motions for me to follow her back to the living area. “All right, I have to head back to the office for a delivery. I’ll be back.” She waves to the three band members who are sprawled out in the living room and then disappears. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Come on in,” one of them says, I think it’s Gavin. Not willing to let them see me sweat any more than they have, I walk to the back of the couch and brace my hands on the back. “So, Cassidy says Kacen should be here later; in the meantime, can I do anything for you?” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. The three of them face me with matching grins on their faces. Boys is right! “Don’t.” I hold up my hand to stop whatever is about to fly out of their mouths. “Let’s try this again. Would you like something to eat?” It doesn’t take more than their grins and the “you” that is made to sound like a cough to make me realize that I have again stuck my foot in my mouth with these dirty-dirty minded rockers. “Something that is prepared in the kitchen,” I state with a grin. I can’t help but laugh. “Kitchen table?” Cole asks. “Counter?” Gavin pipes in. “I’m thinking up against the fridge,” Tristan adds. I just grin and shake my head. Their antics will not work on me, but I need to get used to their brand of teasing. I head toward the kitchen, stopping by the door, I turn. “I’ll just see what I can come up with,” I say over my shoulder. The ruckus I hear could only mean that they are following me. I reach the kitchen and all three of them take a seat at the island. “I’m actually a decent cook,” I say, breaking the ice. “Really?” Cole asks. At least I think he’s Cole. I need to do some Google work on my new electronics and make sure I have them correct. “How about chicken and dumplings? My mom used to make them all the time growing up.”
“I can do that,” I smile. “Wait, fried chicken,” Tristan moans as he licks his lips. “Cake. What I wouldn’t give for a piece of chocolate cake.” Gavin licks his lips. “Yes, yes, and yes. I just need to see if we have all of the ingredients. I don’t think we need all of that right now, so I’ll start with you. Cole, right?” I ask pointing at him. “Fuck yes!” He fist pumps the air. “Didn’t you just spend two weeks at your parents? Didn’t your mom make that for you?” Gavin questions him. “Yes, but it’s my favorite,” he whines. “I promise that each of you will get your favorite. We can take turns each day. I have everything I need for dumplings, so let’s do that today.” I feel like I’m babysitting. The only difference is that these guys, all three of them, scream sexy rock star. Each of them is covered in ink, and it takes my thoughts to Michael, his arms hovering above me, wrapped around me. I shake off the memory and get to work. As I start on lunch, the guys turn on the radio to a pop station. I’m shocked that it’s not rock, but keep my opinion to myself. I don’t know the song, but it has a nice beat to it. I’m standing at the stove, dropping balls of Bisquick into the boiling chicken broth when I feel strong hands grip my waist. Looking over my shoulder, I see Cole. He smiles and winks as he moves our hips to the beat. “I’m a little busy here.” I try to sound annoyed but fail. “Loosen up, girl,” he replies as he spins me around. I reach over and turn down the heat on the stove and drop the fork I was using into the Bisquick bowl. Cole begins to move his body with mine and he’s got rhythm. I humor him and sway my hips to the beat. Tristan and Gavin whistle and cheer us on. As soon as the song is over, I push him away. “If I don’t pay attention, lunch will be ruined.” “Back off, man. I’m fucking starving!” Tristan yells at Cole. Raising his hands in the air, he laughs, “Okay, sheesh.” They leave me alone to finish lunch. I serve each of them a heaping bowl of chicken and dumplings and watch as they devour it. “I vote we never eat takeout again, not when we have Logan,” Gavin says as he shovels another bite into his mouth. Tristan and Cole nod in agreement, mimicking Gavin as they shovel in another bite. I make myself a small bowl and stand leaning against the counter to eat. I finish just as the guys finish with their second helping. They surprise me when they each rinse off their dishes and place them in the dishwasher. I make quick work of the rest of the dishes, wipe off the counters, and call it good. I follow their voices to the living room where they are playing Call of Duty. Tristan offers me to play and I accept. They all stare at me with their mouths hanging open when they see I actually know what I’m doing. “I have a younger brother,” I explain. “Fuck, that’s hot!” Gavin says. I turn to look at him, eyebrows raised in question. “A gorgeous girl like yourself who can cook and plays Call of Duty, will you marry me?”
I laugh but his face is serious. “You know you would miss playing the field. Do you really want to break all those groupies’ hearts?” I ask him. “The ladies do love me.” He winks. The rest of the afternoon is spent with the four of us playing video games and just getting to know each other. I feel comfortable with them and that’s a relief. Now I just need to get past this Kacen character, hope he lets me keep my job and all will be good. “Looks like you all are getting along,” Cassidy says from the doorway. “Sorry, Logan. The delivery was late,” she explains. I don’t take my eyes from the screen; I don’t want to give Cole the upper hand and beat me. “I hope you got everything taken care of.” “Finally, yes. I also received a call from the driver I scheduled to pick Kacen up from the airport. He should be here any time.” The butterflies in my stomach take flight. I’m nervous that he’s going to let me go. I send up a silent prayer that he gives me the chance to prove myself. “Perfect,” I hear a deep voice reply. Looking over at the door, I see that it’s Mr. Jones. I relax a little knowing he’s here. I can only hope he can help convince Kacen to give me a shot. “Got ya!” Cole cheers. Shit! I got distracted. Oh, well, better to not be engrossed in video games when the boss man gets here. I hand my controller off to Gavin, standing to stretch my legs. A loud buzzer rings through the house. “That should be him,” Mr. Jones stares down the three band members. “Best behavior, I mean it,” he scolds them. A round of sure things and you betcha’s are chorused. I hear the front door open and footsteps down the hall. I know Mr. Jones said I still have a job, but I brace myself for that to not be the case. I hear the deep rumble of voices in the hall as Mr. Jones explains me, and the misunderstanding. My back is to the door, so I don’t seem him walk in; however, I stand when I hear footsteps. “Kacen, this is your new personal assistant, Logan Andrews. Logan, this is your new boss, Kacen Warren.” “Holy shit!” the words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Paige,” his gruff voice calls out to me. “Michael?” I breathe his name, not understanding what’s going on here. Mr. Triple T, my one-night stand, hottest sex of my life, is my new boss.
When I wake up, last night comes crashing back to me. Paige and her tight little body, I kept her up into the early morning hours. I couldn’t get my fill of her. Speaking of . . . rolling over, I reach for her. When I feel nothing but cold sheets, I force my eyes open. I’m alone. Climbing out of bed, I grab a clean pair of underwear from the drawer and go in search of her. I quickly scan the living room looking for a sign that she’s still here. Surely she didn’t leave. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before. With a few quick strides, I’m standing in my kitchen. I find it empty as well. I spot a note on the counter; picking it up, I read her words. “Thank you for a night I will never forget.” Fuck me! I settle into a stool, resting my elbows on the counter and burying my hands in my hair. I’m pissed that she left without saying goodbye. I’m even more pissed that I care. It’s usually me who slips out in the early morning hours, but not this time. This time I brought her here, to my space. The only conclusion that I can come up with is that I wasn’t done with her. I wanted to sink myself inside her at least one more time before we parted ways. Glancing at the clock, I see that it’s a little after nine in the morning. Her flight leaves today, but I have no idea what time. Without taking the time to second-guess why I do it, I race back to the bedroom, pull on a pair of shorts, and run out the door. My bare feet hit the hot sand, but I barely notice. I jog to their rental and knock on the door. No answer. Peering in through the window, I see two keys laying on the counter. Shit! She’s gone. Defeated, I turn back the way I came. On the way back to my house, I contemplate calling the owner of the rental and trying to get her information. That thought lingers until I reach the back deck and I realize I sound like a crazy-ass stalker. Paige is the only woman I’ve hooked up with since my time here in Hawaii. My lack of sex has obviously affected my brain.
I settle into a lounge chair, close my eyes, and listen to the early morning waves as they hit the shoreline. I’ve been here for three weeks. Three weeks of being just ‘Kacen’ not the famous lead singer of Soul Serenade. Just coming off of an eighteen-month tour takes a toll on you. My bandmates all went home to visit their families. I opted for tropical paradise. My mom was not impressed when I told her my plans, but really, I just needed to decompress. I will never complain about the success of the band or the life of liberty that success has provided for me. I love what I do. What I don’t love is never knowing who I can trust. This is a cutthroat business, and unless you are blood related, which really stops at my parents, or a member of my band, you are not on the list. Hell, I have women, who I know for a fact I have never seen before in my life, showing up outside my hotel room telling me I fathered their unborn child. I love the music, writing the lyrics, and fitting it to the perfect notes. I hate the fame that comes with it. I’m thankful for it and loathe it all at the same time. My intention was to escape into this private beach house and decompress from the tour, from the fans, the groupies, and everyone else who seems to constantly want a piece of me. I kept to myself for the first two weeks, and then as I was walking down the beach, I saw her. Paige. Her long brown hair was blowing in the wind. I could tell from a distance that she was beautiful, and I was . . . drawn to her. Against my better judgment, I stopped to see if they needed help. Her friend, Lynn, all smiles for me, just like all the other women I meet. Paige, not so much. She was more reserved, yet polite. Her kind smile was just that, kind. She wasn’t mentally conforming to a plan to seduce me; she was just offering a welcoming smile. A smile so contagious that it pulled me under her spell. There is no other explanation for why I continued to seek her out. I was here to get away from it all, even the women, but one glimpse of that smile, the one that lit her eyes, and I was captivated. As the week passed by, it became even more obvious to me that she had no clue who I was. This past week has been the best time I’ve had with a woman in, well . . . ever that I can remember. Last night, in my bed . . . it was different. I’ve been with my fair share of beautiful women. My job keeps me surrounded by them at any given time. Paige, she was different. She wasn’t with Kacen the rock star; she was with me, just Kacen. Well, Michael. The lie I told her slipped off my tongue. It was my weak attempt and silent wish that she would not recognize me. My wish was granted when neither of them realized who I was. Technically, I didn’t lie. Michael is my middle name. I’m sure if put in the same position, just wanting to feel like a normal human being, she would do the same thing. I hope she understands that. Fuck! What am I thinking? I’m never going to see her again; it doesn’t matter if she understands or not. I don’t know her last name or where she’s from. I didn’t even ask what college she just graduated from. My phone rings, jolting me out of my inner turmoil over the lovely Paige. Reaching into my pocket, I check the display and see that Tristan is calling. “Hey, man,” I say in greeting. “How’s paradise?” “Same ole, I think I’m going to come home early.” Call me crazy, and I would never admit this out loud, but paradise isn’t the same knowing she’s not here. The girl I’ve known for a week, who let the real me inside of her, the one who gave me the best sex of my life. Feeling the loss of her is an entirely new concept to me. I know it’s because she left without saying goodbye. That’s never
happened to me before. “Does this have anything to do with that girl you had G talk to?” If you only knew. “Nah, I’m just ready to get home. We have an album to start working on. Besides, Jones sent me an email letting me know my new assistant starts Monday. A guy this time, thank fuck. If any of you fuckers run this one off with your dick, I’m hiring an old maid.” I laugh when I hear his snort on the other line. “K, man, old ladies need loving too. It’s just skin, brother.” I laugh at his antics. The four of us have been friends since kindergarten, thicker than thieves. “Just skin my ass, I might have to test your theory,” I chide him. “I think the new guy is safe, to say the least.” He chuckles. “I’m going to call Cassidy and have her arrange my flight home. I’ll see you in a day or so.” “I’ll let the guys knows. I’m stoked about this new album. We’ve been working on a lot of new material, adding the beat to the lyrics you’ve been sending us.” “Me too, man. It will be good to be home for a while. Living on the road sucks ass.” “True that. Catch ya later.” I type out a quick text to Cassidy, who is our agent’s personal assistant. She’s been filling in since Cole slept with my last one and scared her off. That seems to be a normal occurrence, which is why I insisted on a male this time. Although my boys have been known to get a little freaky in the bedroom, I can’t say I’ve ever known them to swing that way. Only time will tell. Within the hour, Cassidy replies with flight information. I fly out tomorrow afternoon. I decide to take another stroll on the beach, taking in the serenity before I pack up to leave, leaving behind the memories of the lovely Paige and the normalcy I felt being with her.
My flight is uneventful. The flight attendant continued to bat her eyelashes at me and her uniform, which was buttoned prim and proper, suddenly became obscene after she brought me my first drink. Not wanting to deal with her, or anyone for that matter, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. I spot the driver Cassidy has sent for me. He eagerly takes my bags as I follow him to the limo. Even though my hair is now cut short and I’m wearing my Oakley’s, the paparazzi and fans still spot me. I hastily slide into the back seat and pull the door closed behind me. I just want to be home. As soon as I walk through the door of my house, Jones is there waiting. I expected him to be here as well as my new assistant. I hope Cassidy was able to bring him up to speed as to what is expected. “Jones,” I say in greeting. “Kacen, good to have you back.” He reaches out to shake my hand. He looks nervous. “What’s up?” He places his hand on my shoulder; that’s never a good sign. “Kacen, listen, there’s been a slight misunderstanding. It’s not a huge deal,” he rushes to explain. I don’t say anything as I shrug his hand off my shoulder and cross my arms over my chest. I stand stock-still waiting for him to drop the bomb on me.
“You see, when you said you wanted a male assistant, I took you seriously. I went through all of the applications and there was only one male applicant. I forwarded the resume to Cassidy and told her to hire him.” He laughs nervously. I continue to stare him down, waiting for the punch line. “Turns out he is not really a he. She has a name that I have since been told is unisex. Your new assistant, her name is Logan, and she’s extremely qualified. She’s been with the band the entire day and she’s holding her own. Their charms don’t seem to work on her. If anything, they treat her . . . like an old friend.” “I asked for one thing, Jones. One. I’m not one to harp on demands, but I’m so sick and tired of going through assistants every couple of months.” Releasing a heavy sigh, I run my fingers through my hair. Fuck! “All right, you need to make it clear to her that this is a probationary period. If I get even an inkling of suspicion that she has a thing for one of the guys, she’s gone. Make sure she understands.” “Done. Let me introduce you.” I follow him into the living room. I see all three guys sitting around, and then I see her. Her long brown hair reminds me of Paige. I bite back my irritation. She’s gone. She was a good time, but I need to get over that shit. “Kacen, this is your new personal assistant, Logan Andrews. Logan, this is your new boss, Kacen Warren.” “Holy shit!” the words fly out of her sweet mouth. “Paige.” My voice is gruff as I say her name. I thought he said her name was Logan? “Michael?” she breaths my name, and the memory of that exact sound flashes through my mind. I was buried deep inside of her. The girl who has captivated my mind for the past week, the one I shared unbelievable sex with, is standing in my living room, with my bandmates. Paige, or Logan rather, is my new assistant. What the ever-loving fuck?
In and out, in and out, three words that are on repeat in my mind, reminding me to breathe. I’m standing stock-still in his living room staring at him, Michael. Then it hits me . . . he lied to me. I’m angry long enough for my brain to catch up to the fact that I also omitted the truth. I gave him my middle name. “Out, now!” he roars. Cole, Gavin, and Tristan linger around me. Cassidy and Mr. Jones leave without another word. “Leave,” he says again through gritted teeth. I feel an arm come around my shoulders. Looking over, I see that it’s Gavin. He smiles down at me, winks, and turns his attention to Mi—Kacen. “Welcome back, man,” Gavin says. Kacen’s blue eyes flame with anger. “I need a minute with, Pa—Logan.” He looks from me to Gavin. “Don’t think that’s a good idea, my friend. You seem to be standing on the cliff of anger, and our girl here”—he pulls me closer—“doesn’t need to be on the receiving end.” Kacen lets his arms hang at his sides. His fists gripped tight. “I’m not going to hurt her, or yell at her. I just need a fucking minute with her.” “It’s obvious the two of you know each other,” Tristan pipes up. “You could say that.” Kacen answers him, but his eyes never leave mine. “I met Logan in Hawaii.” “Ah, so she’s the one.” Tristan laughs. “K, you good?” this from Cole. His answer is a simple nod, eyes still locked with mine. Cole steps next to me and gently squeezes my arm. “We’ll just be in the kitchen. Guys.” He jerks his head toward the door. Tristan follows obediently while Gavin releases me, but doesn’t move to
follow him. Once he’s no longer touching me, Kacen moves his heated eyes from me to his friend. They have some sort of silent conversation that has Gavin releasing a heavy sigh and retreating toward the kitchen. Then there were two. “So, Logan . . .” “So, Kacen . . .” I mimic him. Running his fingers through his hair, he sits on the couch. “Come sit,” he says without looking at me. Slowly, I walk to where he’s now sitting on the couch and sit on the opposite end. I clasp my hands in my lap and stare at them, just waiting for him to tell me that I no longer have a job. Kacen surprises me when he clears his throat, gaining my attention. He holds his hand out for me. I slip mine into his and we shake. “My name’s Kacen Michael Warren. It’s nice to meet you.” My eyes find his, our hands still locked. “Nice to meet you, Kacen. My name’s Logan Paige Andrews.” His shoulders relax when he hears Paige is my middle name. Without knowing, we both omitted our first names, wanting to be someone else without the lie. Realizing I still have a grip on his hand, I release my hold and place my hands back in my lap. “You were gone.” His voice is thick as he speaks softly. I’m sure he’s worried about his bandmates listening in. Although it sounded like they had already heard about me, about Paige. “I’ve never been much on goodbyes. Besides, we both knew it was a fling.” Something I’ve never done. I don’t exactly know the protocol on this type of thing. “Yeah,” he agrees. “I still would have liked to have been able to say goodbye to you.” Me too. “Hawaii . . . was a first for me. I wasn’t exactly sure on the protocol and just figured slipping away was the best bet.” I decide I might as well be honest with him. We’re both quiet while the words I had just spoken lay between us. “So, you’re my new PA?” he asks. “Well, yes, I guess as long as you decide that I can keep my job.” “I requested a male. Jones looked at your name and assumed.” I nod. “He explained that you would be upset and there would be a chance that I could possibly be . . . relieved of my duties.” “The guys,”—he gestures toward the kitchen—“they’ve run off the last several assistants, for various reasons.” “He explained that as well.” “Look, I know how excited you were about this position. I’m willing to see how things go, if you think you can work with me after . . .” His voice trails off. After you gave me the best sex of my life. “I can.” He studies me. “The guys can be—”
I interrupt him. “I’ve spent the day with them. I know they can be flirty and suggestive. However, I’m not some groupie. The fame of the band does nothing for me. I don’t want the spotlight. I want to do my job and that’s it. I can handle them.” I just don’t know if I can handle being around you. “All right then. We’ll try it and see how it goes. I’m sure Cassidy has shown you your office?” I nod. “Good, she will be the one training you, so to speak. Really, your main job is keeping us in line.” He smirks. “Challenge accepted.” I wink and hold out my hand. He briefly hesitates before giving it a firm shake. “You can come in now,” he yells over his shoulder. All three of them come bursting back in the room. Gavin’s gaze locks on mine. I smile, letting him know all is well. “So, do we get to keep her?” Cole asks. “Jesus, she’s not a fucking pet,” Kacen chides him. “No, but she is one hell of a cook. I vote we keep her,” Tristan adds. Kacen runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. “Yes, she’s staying.” His eyes lock with mine. The blue pools take me back to just a few days ago. I push the thoughts of our time together in the back of my mind. Just a memory, Logan. Just a memory. “Okay, well, I need to find Cassidy. There were a few things she was going to discuss with me about your schedule. I’m just going to head to my office.” I stand to leave and Kacen grabs my hand. “Logan, it’s after five. You’ve been here all day.” I smile down at him. “I’ve already been informed that the job has unconventional hours. Besides, I spent most of the time hanging out with these three. I hardly feel like I worked at all.” With that, I leave the four of them staring after me. Once I clear the door, I rest my back against the wall and suck in a deep breath. I’m relieved I get to keep my job, but nervous as hell working with him every day. How am I going to separate the memories of our time in Hawaii from this new working relationship we have? “Off fucking limits, I mean it.” I hear Kacen’s warning as I scurry down the hall to my office.
“I mean it. Logan is off-limits.” My voice is stern. They need to know I mean business. “It’s her, right? She’s the one from Hawaii?” Tristan asks. I nod. “Off-limits,” I repeat. “You staking your claim?” Cole chimes in. “She’s my fucking assistant,” I seethe. I’ve never staked my claim, never wanted to. Right now in this moment, I want to, if not for the simple fact that I don’t want them to touch her. Memories of her writhing beneath me flash through my mind. I cross my arms over my chest and square my shoulders, letting my eyes linger on each of them. “I need to hear it,” I tell them. I need to hear them each agree that she’s untouchable. “Got it,” Gavin agrees. “Sure, man,” Tristan follows suit. “Yeah,” Cole says. I nod once and turn to go. I just need a minute to process this shit. “Wait!” Cole calls for me. “We need to hear it.” I raise my eyebrows in confusion. “We need to hear you say that you understand that Logan is off-limits,” he smirks. “It’s my rule, jackass.” This causes Cole to grin. “Let’s hear the words, Kace.” Fuck! I’ve already been inside of her; this rule should not apply to me. But I know that it does. She’s now my employee. “Fine. I get it,” I say, storming off down the hall. I find myself outside of the office that is now hers. I rap lightly against the doorframe. Her head pops up. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I talked to the guys. I made sure they knew to leave you alone.” She nods. “Thank you, that wasn’t necessary. I can handle them. They’re harmless really.” I have no doubt, just from the small amount of time I’ve known her, that she can, indeed, handle
herself, but I don’t want them messing with her. She’s here to do a job, which is already strained due to our . . . rendezvous in Hawaii. “I’m sure you can, but I figured a little reminder wouldn’t hurt.” She stands from her chair. “Okay, well if you don’t need anything else, I’m going to head home. I just talked to Cassidy, and she’s tied up, so we’re going to meet here tomorrow morning at nine.” I watch her as she gathers her purse and slips her cell phone into the outer pocket. “I’ll walk you out,” I say, stepping aside, allowing her to walk in front of me. Her legs look incredible in those heels and that skirt. A memory of what it felt like to have those legs wrapped around me flashes through my mind. Fuck! I stand on the front steps and watch her as she drives away. Yesterday, when I woke up and she was gone, I was disappointed. I wanted more of her. Today, she’s here in my house, working for me, and I still want more of her. It’s going to be a true test of my willpower to keep my hands off her. Not only mine, but the guys. I find the three of them in the living room. Gavin and Cole both have their guitars while Tristan holds a pair of drumsticks that he uses to tap out a beat on the arm of my couch. All three of them have notebooks sitting in front of them. “Hey, man, you up for writing?” Gavin asks. Hell yes! This is the part of music that I love. The creation. “Let me grab a quick shower and I’ll join you.” Taking the stairs two at a time, I grab some clothes and head to the shower. I’m eager to get started on this next album. The guys have been working off and on since I’ve been in Hawaii. They all opted to come home instead of visiting paradise with me. It was nice to get away from everything and everyone. Well, not everyone. If I hadn’t gone, I would not have met Logan. I guess that’s not true either. I would not have slept with Logan, but she would still be here as my assistant. Even though I know I have to keep my distance now that she works for me, the time I spent with her, being inside of her, is an experience I definitely do not want to forget. It hits me that if the guys would have come with me, they would have met her at the same time as I did. I can’t help but wonder if she would have fallen to their charms instead of mine. I don’t play games. I’m more of a see what you want and go after it kind of guy. Then again, they make a game out of it because they can. When you have girls falling at your feet willing to do anything you ask, making a game of it is mandatory. Girls like Logan are few and far between. After throwing on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt, I grab the notebook from my nightstand and my guitar. As I reach the living room, I can hear the guys discussing a new beat. “Where are we?” I ask as I take a seat next to Tristan on the couch. “Just trying to work out the beat for the one you sent us last week,” he tells me as he continues to tap his sticks against the couch. I glance over at his notebook and see it’s the ballad I had been working on in Hawaii. We don’t do a lot of them, but we want this next album to be eclectic. Wrapping my arms around my guitar, I close my eyes and begin to sing the lyrics, which are already memorized.
Reality is closing in Is it me or is it you
The lines are blurred within these walls How do I know when to take the fall?
Just like that, I’m lost in the music. We stay in the same spot until the early morning hours. We make it through the entire song with lyrics and rhythm that we’re all pleased with. I’m exhausted when I reach my room, but sleep evades me as I think about her. This extraordinarily fucked-up day turned out better than I expected.
As soon as I clear the gates and steer my car onto the main road, I take a deep breath. Today was . . . unexpected, to say the least. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that my vacation fling would end up being my new boss. That’s why I steer clear of situations like this. If I hadn’t given in to the desire, then today would have been a hell of a lot less awkward. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve slept with my new boss. I had myself convinced that Kacen was going to fire me on the spot. He surprised me by saying we can give it a shot. He’s worried about his bandmates. I wanted to tell him that it was still him that I felt between my thighs and he had nothing to worry about, but instead, I bit my tongue. That would have been unprofessional, and that’s what our relationship has to be from here on out. Nothing but professional. I’ve kept myself from texting Stacy all day today to fill her in. I didn’t want to be glued to my phone on the first day. I know she would have been blowing the damn thing up until she had all of the details. As if she can read my mind, my phone alerts me to a text. I have no doubt it’s my best friend, so I wait until I’m stopped at the next traffic light to read it.
Stacy: Hey! What time will you be home?
Me: On my way now, about 15 minutes.
Stacy: Great! I ordered pizza to celebrate our first days.
The light turns green, so I end the conversation with a quick “K.” I decide to stop and pick up a twelve pack of Angry Orchard. After the day I’ve had, pizza and beer sound amazing. I find Stacy sitting on the living room floor with the pizza box, paper plates and napkins spread out on the coffee table. Kicking off my shoes and ridding myself of my purse and keys, I wave a quick hello as I pass her for the kitchen. Tearing into the twelve pack, I grab us both a beer and place the rest in the fridge. I have a feeling we’ll be needing a few more before the night is through. “Hey! How was your first day?” she asks, bringing the bottle to her lips.
“Good, but you first. I’m starving.” It’s the truth. I am starving, but I’m also using it as a stall tactic. “I really think I’m going to like it. I’m shadowing with another rep for the next four weeks, and then they’ll give me my own territory.” She stops to take a bite of pizza. I shove in another bite as well, hoping she’ll keep talking. “We take lunches to physicians and their staff and meet with them about the medications. We visited about twelve offices today, and Lisa, the girl I’m shadowing, said that’s low, but she was taking her time to introduce me at each place and explain the process. I was worried at first, but if today is any indication, I’m really going to love it.” She beams. She takes another bite of pizza and looks at me expectantly. Shit, stalling is no longer an option. “My day was good. You’ll never guess who I ran into.” I decide to string her along a little. “I got nothing,” she says, taking a swig of her beer. Damn. She’s not even going to try and guess. “Funny story, you remember Michael, right?” “Michael? From Hawaii Michael?” she asks, confused. I nod. “Yeah, Michael from Hawaii.” “Logan, that was two days ago, of course I remember him. What does he have to do with your job?” “He’s my boss.” Stacy coughs. I guess I should have waited until she swallowed her drink to put that little bit of information out there for her. “Are you freaking kidding me? No way!” she exclaims. “Yep. Turns out I’m not actually working for the record label. I’m his, well his and his band’s, new personal assistant.” “Holy shit! What band? Did he mention Hawaii? What did he say? Do you still have a job?” She fires off questions one after the other. “Soul Serenade, yes, that we would see how it goes, and yes,” I address each of her questions. “Turns out his name is Kacen not Michael.” I watch as she starts to speak, and then clamps her mouth shut. I take another bite of my pizza to buy some time. I’m still on the fence with how I feel about this, and I know she’s going to ask. “We haven’t really talked about that night. You were really quiet on the way home, and I was giving you time. All you’ve told me is that he ruined you for other men. I can only assume that means you did, indeed, sleep with him and it was life changing. So my question is, how do you feel about all of this? Can you work for him? Can you keep your hands off him?” She winks. Tilting back my bottle of beer and taking a big drink, I ponder her question. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I mean, I know I can be professional, and yes, I can keep my hands off him. I will not, however, be able to not think about them touching every inch of his body every time I see him, but I can keep that to myself. I guess a lot of it depends on how he acts toward me. If he’s an ass, it will make it easier, but if he’s nice and flirts at all, it’s going to be hard to not . . . want him.” Kacen gave me a night to remember, one that we both thought would be just that, a memory. Seeing him every day is going to be a constant reminder of the night we shared. I know I can remain professional, unless he uses his charms on me. If that happens, I’m going to be looking for another
job. It might be a good idea to put a few feelers out, just in case. Working for him, regardless of how he treats me, could turn out to be more than I can handle. More than I’m willing to deal with. “I say have some fun with it. If he gets all flirty, you flirt right back. Let him know what he’s missing, not the other way around. If he wants to play games, make him want you.” “And if he decides that he does?” Stacy shrugs. “Then let him have you. It wouldn’t be the first time a boss slept with his PA. Worst-case scenario is it doesn’t work out and you need to find another job. As long as you leave giving them proper notice, there is no way he would give you a bad reference, regardless of how things turn out. Besides, it could also turn out in your favor and you all could live happily ever after.” This has me throwing my head back in laughter. “You remember Daniel, right? I was fooled once into believing fairy tales existed. I was sadly mistaken. I will not make that same mistake again.” “Logan, Daniel was a mistake. There is someone out there who will love you like you deserve to be loved. You have to be willing to open up to the possibility for that to happen. Maybe it’s Kacen, maybe it’s not. Regardless, you have to put the past and Daniel behind you. Not all men are like him.” “He’s a fucking rock star, Stacy!” “And he would be damn lucky to have you as a permanent part of his life. Don’t doubt that, Logan. Don’t let Daniel’s bullshit convince you that you are not worthy of that kind of devotion.” Hot tears prick the back of my eyes. She knows me so well. I nod, letting her know I hear what she’s saying and take another bite of pizza, which now tastes like cardboard. My appetite has gone. I guess only time will tell how Kacen and I get along. If we can make this working relationship work.
It’s four in the morning before I finally make it to my room to crash. It’s been a long-ass day. I’m exhausted, but instead of falling asleep, my mind wanders to Pai—Logan. Fuck! I cannot believe she’s my new personal assistant. Talk about being a small world. After I got over the shock of seeing her standing in my living room, I wanted to haul her over my shoulder and bring her to my bed. I wanted what she deprived me of in Hawaii, one more chance to be inside of her. I had accepted that the hottest sex of my life was gone, a mere memory, but now she’s here and I have to keep my damn hands off her. I knew how much she was looking forward to this job. We didn’t talk specifics, but I remember a conversation we had one night while walking on the beach. I could hear the excitement in her voice about the new job she was starting. There was no way I could take that away from her. I’m just going to have to remind my dick on a daily basis until he gets the message that she’s off-limits. I see lots of cold showers and nights with Rosie Palm in my future. Speaking of Rosie, I slip my hands under the waistband of my boxer briefs and slide them off. Gripping my cock, I begin to stroke my length to the image of Logan burned in my mind. She’s under me and those brown eyes are filled with so much passion. That’s the only image I need; two more swift pumps and I find my release. Dear Lord, please help me find the strength to resist her. I climb out of bed and take a quick shower before setting the alarm and falling into an exhausted sleep. The annoying beep of my alarm wakes me up. Forcing open one eye, I groan when I see it’s eight-thirty. I’m pissed until I remember why I set my alarm in the first place. Logan. She’s supposed to be here at nine. That’s all the motivation I need. Throwing the covers back, I make my way back to the shower to wake my tired ass up. I shouldn’t have stayed up so late with the guys, but I just couldn’t resist. I love writing music. That’s my passion. Really, it’s that way for all of us. None of us are much on the fame. The fortune is nice, but I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I’ve just cleared the bottom step when the front door opens. Logan walks in wearing another skirt and a sleeveless black top. The material looks sheer from where I’m standing. Her brown hair is pulled up in a ponytail and her lips shimmer with a light pink. She doesn’t cake on makeup, and she
doesn’t need to. Logan is one of those girls, who, at first glance, you view her as a Plain Jane. When you take a second look, you see she is anything but plain. That’s how it happened for me. I saw the two of them on the back deck and decided to be neighborly. My momma would put her foot in my ass if she knew I didn’t offer to help. I took a quick glance at both of them, and then a second glance. I couldn’t look away from Logan. She’s totally the girl next door, and that in itself is a breath of fresh air. I’m used to being around women who wear way too much makeup and not enough clothing. Anything to get noticed. Some of them are hot, beautiful even, if you can look past all the war paint. None of them can hold a candle to Logan. She’s not out to impress anyone. She’s just herself, and I got to be me, just Kacen, during our time in Hawaii. I got to pretend the fame of the band didn’t exist and spent time with the beautiful girl next door who wanted nothing from me but my time. “Kacen,” Logan says my name, waving her hand in front of my face. “Are you okay?” she asks. I can hear the concern in her voice, and that turns me on even more. How long has it been since a woman, other than my mother, was actually concerned about me? Years, if ever. We started the band in high school, so even then the female attention we got was because we were in a band. I don’t know if I’ve ever been on the receiving end of genuine affection. Smiling at her, I say, “Yeah, I’m good. Just tired. The guys and I had a writing session that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.” A genuine smile crosses her face. “That’s awesome. They told me how excited they were for you to be back so you all could dig into the next album.” God, this girl! “Yeah, it was nice to jam with them.” “Okay, well, let me put my stuff in my office and I’ll start some coffee. Cassidy will be here at ten, so I have some time.” I watch her walk away, her hips and legs looking incredible in that skirt. Hell, who am I kidding? She looks incredible. Every damn inch of her. Needing a minute to get myself under control, I step out onto the front porch. It’s already a muggy day with the promise of warmer temperatures. Walking back into the house, the smell of fresh brewed coffee leads me to the kitchen. I find Logan at the counter rolling out dough. “Hey, what’s all this?” Without looking at me, she continues to roll out the dough. “I thought I would make biscuits and gravy for breakfast.” “It sounds amazing. You could have just gone out and picked something up.” It sounds odd saying this to her. My gut instinct is to tell her to stop, that it’s not her job to wait on us, but then I’m reminded that it is. It’s going to be a struggle for me to separate Hawaii Logan and Tennessee Logan in my mind. “Nah, this won’t take long. Besides, the guys said you all only get home-cooked meals when you go home to see your mamas. I enjoy cooking, so it’s a win-win for everyone.” “Can I help?” I offer, biting back the urge to take over. “Nope, the coffee is ready, and this”—she points to a cookie sheet full of homemade biscuits —“will be ready in about fifteen minutes.” I make my way to the coffee maker and pour myself a steaming cup. Instead of retreating back to
the island or the living room or, hell, anywhere else, I turn and rest my back against the counter, crossing my legs and sip on my coffee. Logan is beside me at the stove, browning sausage. “So, who taught you to cook?” A wistful smile crossed her face. “My mom and my gran.” Her smile makes those brown eyes sparkle. “My mom tried.” I laugh. “I didn’t have much interest. I can grill just about anything, but get me in an actual kitchen and you need to be on high alert.” A giggle escapes those pink lips and I want to pull her mouth to mine and kiss her. Shit! I’ve got to get a handle on this. She’s my employee. Maybe if I try imagining her as Paige in Hawaii and Logan here in Tennessee it will be enough to separate the two? I take another sip of my coffee, mulling it over. “My brother ’s pretty much the same way.” Her voice brings me out of my silent musing, causing me to turn my head to look at her. There is no way I can pretend she’s two different people. I’m captivated by her. Still. “What the hell smells so damn good?” Cole grumbles from the doorway. “Good morning, grumpy,” she teases him. “I’m making breakfast. Coffee is waiting. This will be ready in about ten.” Cole strides toward me and gives me a knowing look. “Either make me a cup or move out of my way. I need caffeine.” I step to the side, allowing him to move in and make his own. My intention is to stay close, so as soon as he’s done, I can resume my spot next to her. Cole has other plans. He mimics my previous position and starts up a conversation with Logan. “You know you’re the best assistant ever, right?” he asks. Looking up, she grins at him. “Duh.” They both laugh and, for some reason, it bothers me. I watch as Cole leans in closer and inhales. He gives off the impression he’s smelling the sausage she’s browning, but I can tell from the blush on her face she knows otherwise. “Let her finish!” I snap at him. Of course, once the words are out of my mouth and I see the smirk on his face, I know he was trying to get a reaction out of me. Congrats, fucker, it worked. Now step away from the girl. “I’m starving,” Cole cheers as he casually steps away and pulls up a stool at the island. I stay rooted in my spot, just a few feet away from her. I want to move in next to her, but not with Cole’s watchful eyes. If they know how much I still want her, they’ll step up their game with flirting with her, and I don’t believe I could handle watching. This girl has me tied up in knots, and I need to figure out a way to deal with it. I’m at a complete loss, but one thing I do know for certain is I will not watch them fawn all over her. Not going to happen.
“Breakfast is ready,” I tell Kacen and Cole. “Should I wake the others?” I ask. “No,” Kacen’s words are clipped. “They’ll wake up when they’re ready.” “Well, all right then. What do you all want to drink? Anything other than coffee?” I ask. “Logan, sit down and enjoy the breakfast you just made. If we need something, we can get it. You don’t have to wait on us,” Kacen tells me. “You see, that’s kind of my job,” I reply. “No, it’s not. You are here to keep us organized and run errands, yes, but you’ve already gone above and beyond by cooking breakfast when you could have just ordered something on your way here. Nowhere in your contract did it say you were to be the wait staff.” He sounds a little angry, and I’m not sure why. I decide to just let it roll. I’m sure he’s still tired from his flight and writing with the others last night. “Okay, well, I had a bagel at home, so I’m just going to be in my office waiting for Cassidy.” I scurry out of the room before he can protest. By the time I have my computer booted up, Cassidy is standing at my door. “Good morning,” she says cheerily. “Morning. I made breakfast, if you’re hungry,” I offer. “I know. My nose led me to the smell. All four of them are shoveling it in,” she laughs. “You’re already spoiling them.” “Nah,”—I wave my hand on the air—“feeding them is part of the job. I enjoy cooking and the guys said they rarely get home cooked meals. I don’t mind.” She laughs. “Fair enough. All right, are you ready to get started?” “As I’ll ever be,” I tell her. “Really, it’s pretty easy. Like we talked about yesterday, when they start working on a new album, they pretty much hibernate here at Kacen’s. You need to make sure they have food, as you seem good with, and there is a cleaning lady who comes twice a week. She cleans and does the laundry.”
“Got it. What’s her name?” “Nancy. She comes on Tuesdays and Fridays, so you can meet her today. Other than that, you and I will work closely together because of the label. There are events the guys will need to attend; you and I will work to coordinate schedules. It will be your responsibility to get them there, book their flight, hotel, etc.” Okay, so that doesn’t sound too bad. “I think I can handle that. Besides, you said you and I will work closely, so I’ll have you to bounce questions off.” I can hear the hope in my voice. “Absolutely. Honestly, this is more of a ‘learn as you go’ position. Each day brings something new in this business, so it’s hard to know what to expect. The big thing is to just keep them in line and on schedule. From what I saw yesterday, you can handle yourself with their flirtatious ways. Really, the four of them are harmless. All the other PAs fall for the charms and end up being scorned that they are not going to live happily ever after with a rock star.” I wonder if that’s what Kacen thinks of me. No, he couldn’t; I didn’t even know who he was. “So are the four of them commitment-phobes?” I prod her. I really don’t care about Cole, Gavin, and Tristan; I just want to know if Kacen is afraid of commitment. “Honestly, I don’t think they are. All of them have had a few serious relationships since I’ve known them. The struggle is their schedules and jealousy is a huge issue. You have to have trust, and the girls who present themselves are usually callous bitches who want the fame, and if they feel the slightest bit insecure, the claws come out. This is not something that makes a strong relationship. I honestly think, if and when any of them find the right girl, none of them will hesitate to hold on to her.” “Okay.” I need to change the subject, even though I’m the one who broached it in the first place. “Any events or anything else coming up that I need to be aware of?” “Not right now. The guys try to lay low for several weeks after a tour. They were on the road for eighteen months, so they need some down time. There is a charity event in several weeks. I’ll e-mail you the details. Just from talking to Mr. Jones, there are also going to be a few events the label needs for them to attend. I’ll send that as soon as I have final dates. Other than that, just get to know them. Make sure they are fed, and I’ll be in touch.” “Thank you so much, Cassidy. I’ll be calling you with questions soon, I’m sure.” “No problem, they’re good guys, just a little spoiled. If you can overlook the orneriness, then you are good to go.” What about the fact that I’ve slept with Kacen? Can you help me overlook that? “Great. I’m sure we’ll get along fine,” I say instead. “I’m sure you will. Well, I’m going to head back to the office. You have my number if you need anything.” “Thank you, again. I’ll walk you out.” I stand and follow her out of my office. Kacen meets us at the end of the hall. “Hey, I was just coming to find you,” he says to me. “Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Cassidy says and leaves us standing there in the hall. Kacen doesn’t even acknowledge her. “You found me,” I say with a cheery smile.
“I want you to meet Nancy.” He reaches out to grab my hand and I pull back. Not a few days ago, I would have latched on without a thought. Things have changed. “Right, she’s in the kitchen.” He motions for me to walk ahead of him. In the kitchen, there is a woman in her late fifties with salt and pepper hair standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes. “Nancy, this is Logan, my new PA. Logan, this is Nancy. She cleans twice a week and keeps this place from showing the signs that four grown pigs live here.” He winks at her. “Oh, you,” she shoos him away. “You boys don’t make that big of a mess. I just tidy up a little and do your laundry.” “You spoil us, and we love you for it,” Kacen says as he pulls her into a one-armed hug. He seems very fond of her. “Logan, it’s nice to meet you.” She extends her hand for me to shake. “You as well. You have your hands full with this crew,” I joke. “Oh, honey, you have no idea.” She grins, turning to Kacen. “I like this one.” “Me too, Nance. Me too,” he whispers the words, but I hear them. “Now, off you go so I can finish this up. Logan, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” With that, she turns back to the sink, continues to hum a tune I don’t recognize, and starts back in on the dishes. “Kace! Get your ass in here.” I hear from the living room. I don’t know which one of them it was. Kacen just shakes his head and holds his arm out for me to lead the way. Cole, Gavin, and Tristan are sprawled out over the huge sectional couch. Kacen sits on the love seat and pats the spot next to him for me to sit as well. As soon as I sit, my personal cell phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see Daniel’s name on the screen. Not wanting to deal with his drama, but needing a distraction from sitting next to my sexy new boss, I open his message.
Daniel: I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Me: It’s over. Stop texting.
Daniel: It’s never going to be over with us. We have too much history.
Me: It’s over!
“Boyfriend?” Kacen asks, causing me to jump and throw my phone. He catches it with ease and looks down at the screen. “Ex,” I say, reaching for the phone. “Sounds like he wants to change that.” “Well, what he wants and what he gets are two very different things. I don’t play games.” My phone vibrates in my hand.
Daniel: NOT OVER!
I feel Kacen lean in close. Glancing up, I see his eyes are locked on the screen of my phone,
reading Daniel’s last words. His jaw is tight. I start to wonder why he would be angry, and it’s then I remember I’m working, not just hanging out with a group of rockers. I lock the screen and slip the phone back in my pocket. “Well, I’ll just be in my office if you need me,” I say as I go to stand. Kacen grabs my arm and pulls me back into the sitting position. “Is he harassing you?” he asks. His voice is low, but I can hear the edge of anger trying to push through. “Logan, breakfast was fantastic!” Tristan says. I hear Gavin voice his agreement. “Come with me,” Kacen says. He grabs my hand and leads me out of the room. I don’t fight it as I let him lead me to my office. Once we’re inside, he shuts the door. “What’s going on, Logan? You had a boyfriend while we were together?” he seethes. “What? No, of course not. I don’t do that. I don’t even have one-night stands. I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve slept with.” I watch as he runs his fingers through his hair. “So if you weren’t with him, what’s with the messages?” “Not that my personal messages are any of your business, but we broke up a few weeks before Hawaii, and he’s not impressed that I’m no longer playing his games.” My anger rises. It’s none of his damn business. We are not together. Our current relationship is strictly professional. “Games? Did he hurt you? You’ve got to give me something, Logan. My mind is going crazy here.” Sensing that he’s coming from a good place, I release a heavy sigh and plop down in my chair. “If you insist on hearing the story, you might as well sit,” I tell him. Surprisingly, he does as he’s told and takes the seat across from my desk. “Daniel and I dated for three years. We were constantly on again off again due to his need to ‘take a break.’ My friends tried to warn me about the stories they had heard, but I was naïve enough to believe his words over theirs. On graduation day, I overheard some girls in the restroom talking about how great he was, yada yada yada. The same girl was also telling her friend how he promised her that he would break things off with his girlfriend for her. That was the final straw for me. I was tired of feeding into his lies about our future, the dream of marriage and kids. I want that. He said he did too, but it turns out he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.” I pause and take a sip of the bottle of water I brought with me today. “So you see, I don’t play games. He doesn’t want me. He’s just pissed off that he got caught and I called him out on his shit. Regardless of what he wants, it is most definitely over.”
As I sit here and listen to her story, the only thing running through my mind is that this guy is a fucking moron. He had her. He had Logan in the palm of his hands, and threw her away. She finishes and I’m floored as to what she put up with from this guy. Even more so that he wasn’t smart enough to cherish her. “Wow, that’s . . . I’m sorry, but he’s a jackass.” This has Logan throwing her head back in laughter. My eyes lock on her slender neck as I remember what it was like to trace the lines with my tongue. “I agree, this is totally a laughing matter,” I say with a grin. “He let the best thing that ever happened to him slip away, for what, a new piece of ass? Not worth it.” My voice is clear and stern. Something inside of me needs her to understand that she’s worth it, that he’s, well . . . a jackass. “I have to agree with your jackass assessment,” she says with grin. “It’s over. Any feelings I had, or thought I might have had for him, are gone. I left them in the bathroom stall that day. I’m sad for what I lost. Three years of my life I spent with him, dreaming of a future that he never wanted.” “Now he sees the error in his ways and is harassing you.” “Not harassing, just text messages and phone calls. He’s never been mean or threatening, just adamant that what we had is not over. He’s wrong.” “Good. If he gets out of hand, or even if he doesn’t, and you want me to step in, you let me know. If I’m not around, talk to the guys.” “Honestly, Kacen, it’s more of an annoyance than anything. He’ll eventually get the hint.” I nod, letting her know I agree. “You mentioned something else, something that I have no right to ask of you, but you brought it up.” I wink at her. I’m hoping to keep this easy banter going between us so she will not balk at answering my next question. “Three,” she replies. My mouth falls open, again causing her laughter to fill the room. “Are you shocked at the number or at the fact I knew what you were going to ask me?” she asks.
“Both,” I say with no hesitation. “Logan, you’re an attractive girl. How is that even possible?” “Well, Mr. Rock Star, I was in a long-term relationship with Daniel for three years, regardless of breaks between us, I was faithful to him. I believed he just needed room to breathe. My first was my date to my senior prom. It was more of a pull the Band-Aid off kind of situation. We both wanted to. There were no expectations of love or forever, just two kids who had gone to school together their entire lives not wanting to head off to college as virgins. Number three was this guy who swept me off my feet while on vacation with my best friend Stacy. It was a fling that gave me memories I will always cherish,” she says shyly. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t. We’ve not really discussed that night much, but here she is throwing it out there like a casual greeting. I’m floored even more so by what it meant to her. I’m relieved I’m not going crazy when I think about the connection we seem to share. “So, Kacen, what about you? Care to give me a number?” She smirks. My eyes meet hers and I hold her stare until I get the courage to speak. “My number is higher than yours. Not outrageously so, but compared to yours, yeah, it’s higher,” I confess. I cannot believe we are having this conversation. She’s my PA now. This should not be happening. “So what are we talking fifty, one-hundred?” she prods. “Fuck no!” I say, my voice louder than what I expected it to be. Did she really think that of me? “You were number ten,” I say, my tone quiet. “Ten, hmmm . . . not so bad. Of course, it shouldn’t matter what I think. You’ve already sampled the goods.” “Jesus, Logan! Would you stop talking like that.” “What? It’s the truth. You could have said one thousand and it would not have made a bit of difference. We’ve already been down that road.” “Five of them were long-term relationships, and five of them were casual one-time things,” I confess. I watch her as she raises her hand. “Put me in the casual column.” She grins. She can tell this conversation is uncomfortable for me, and she’s loving every damn minute of it. “It didn’t feel casual,” I say and the smile falls from her lips. Take that. Only it’s the truth. Nothing from that week with her felt casual. The iPhone lying on her desk rings. Picking it up, she says, “This is Logan.” “Sure, I’ll be right out,” she says to the caller as she hits end and places the phone back on her desk. “Who was that?” “Gavin, they’re hungry. I told them I would make lunch.” “Just call something in and have it delivered.” “Nah, I’m good with cooking. Are we good, or did you need something else from me?” she asks. No, we are not good. I need . . . Fuck! I don’t know what I need. “No, we’re good,” I grumble and follow her out of her office and into the kitchen.
My mind told me to go hang out with the guys, but my feet carried me right along behind her. Speaking of behind, I’m sitting at the island watching as Logan is bent over in that skirt and those heels, pulling ingredients for tacos out of the fridge. “You know, we really just hang out here all day. You don’t need to dress up. I’m good with you wearing jeans and a t-shirt. No need for formality unless it’s for an event. You can’t be comfortable being dressed up all day just hanging around the house.” “It doesn’t bother me. I’ll confess, it feels strange to cook in a skirt and heels. Usually at home I’m in yoga pants and a tank with my hair all pulled back.” “Then wear that here. If you’re going to be spoiling us by cooking us meals instead of just ordering takeout, you need to be comfortable. Besides, this isn’t exactly a formal job.” I’m trying to convince her, but it’s solely for selfish reasons. I don’t know if I can keep my hands off her in those sexy-as-hell getups she’s been wearing. This is only day two and I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle with my dick. He doesn’t seem to understand that we can no longer have her. “Thanks, maybe I’ll keep a dressier outfit in my office in case the need arises.” Thank you. My dick thanks you. “You’re welcome.”
“Come and get it,” I yell so the guys can hear me. Kacen stayed in the kitchen the entire time. He kept the conversation flowing, but I could feel his eyes on me every time I turned away. “All right, well, I have to stop at the post office and pick up the fan mail, and then I’m headed home. I’ll be back in the morning. Is nine okay?” I direct the question to Kacen. “Yeah, nine is fine,” he assures me. “See you all in the morning.” I wave over my shoulder and rush to my office. Quickly, I shut down my computer, grab both cell phones, my purse, and keys, and I’m out of the house. Day two has been a weird one at best. The post office opens at eight, so I decide to leave that for first thing in the morning. There always seems to be a long line at closing time. Everyone is rushing to get in last minute business. I beat Stacy home, so I start making us dinner. We’re having macaroni and cheese with bacon and broccoli. It’s one of Stacy’s favorite dishes, and it’s easy to make. Once that’s in the oven to bake, I grab my Kindle and settle on the couch. I try to read, but the effort is pointless as my earlier conversation with Kacen is on replay. He’s a great guy. I can tell just from the conversations we have, not only here but in Hawaii, that he’s loyal. He really doesn’t give off the ‘I’m a rock star and the master of the universe’ vibe that one might expect. None of them do really. They’re just a group of friends who found fortune and fame doing what they love. I admire them for not falling to the dark side of fame, as many do. Stacy walks in just as the timer goes off on the oven. “Perfect timing. Dinner ’s ready.” “You are the best!” She throws her purse and keys onto the table and follows me into the kitchen. “So how was your second day?” I inquire. “Good, it’s a lot to learn as far as the material. One of the physicians who we called on today was a jerk. He refused eye contact, and just as I was about to finish the spiel, he interrupted me saying he was out of time and had patients. I mean, I get that the guy saves lives, but he could have said it a little nicer. Lisa, she’s the rep I’m shadowing, says I need to get used to it. She said over 50 percent of the physicians I call on will react that way. She says it’s just the nature of the business.”
“Wow, I mean, like you said, you know they’re busy saving lives, but being rude is unnecessary,” I agree. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. How about you? How was day number two with the boys?” She giggles. I made the mistake of calling them that last night and, apparently, the title has stuck. “Good, my day was uneventful. I cooked for them instead of ordering out. Yesterday they made the comment that they only get home-cooked meals when they make it home to see their mothers, so I figured since I love to cook and the kitchen is beyond words, why not? This keeps me from running all over town picking up takeout.” “Damn, I’m jealous. Do they need another assistant? Maybe a maid?” She wags her eyebrows. “No.” I laugh. “Nancy is the name of the very nice lady who cleans for Kacen twice a week. She’s probably in her late fifties and super sweet.” “Just my luck,” she says, taking a big bite of her pasta. “You know,” she takes a drink, “you should make this for them one day. I swear this is the best ever!” “I’m sure I will. I’m eventually going to run out of recipes. I figure I’ll add a few meals of takeout to mix it up.” “You’re going to spoil them, is what you’re going to do.” We both laugh at that because she’s right. “So what are the rest of them like?” “They’re all great guys. They all have similar personalities. I’m pretty sure they all know about Hawaii.” I can feel the flush of my cheeks. “Really? What makes you think that?” “Cole, especially, likes to make suggestions, nothing over the top but when Kacen is around. It’s almost like he’s trying to rile him up on purpose. All of them have said or done something in some manner in the past two days in that aspect.” “So, Kacen is taking the bait?” she questions. “I guess,” I say with a shrug. “I can’t really tell. There have been a few instances where he insists they cut the teasing. I’m trying not to think about him caring. I need to focus on Kacen my boss, not Kacen the fling.” “Meh.” She waves her hand in the air. “I think you need to focus on what makes you the happiest. If bumping uglies with bossman does it, then I say go for it. Life it too short.” “Stacy! Seriously? Okay, say I start whatever it is you’re suggesting with him, and then he decides he’s done with me. Then what? I find a new job. One where I have to tell them the reason for leaving my most recent position is because I slept with my boss. I’m good,” I tell her. “You can’t let what other people think influence you. You need to do what you want, what makes you happy.” “I hear ya,” I tell her. “Well, thank you for dinner, but I’m exhausted. We’re leaving earlier than normal tomorrow because the physicians we have to call on are further away. Lisa wants to beat the morning traffic.” “I don’t have to be there until nine, but I’m going to stop at the post office on my way and pick up the fan mail. I was supposed to do it tonight, but opted for coming home a little early instead. Same
reason to avoid the afternoon rush, I might head to bed myself.” “The dishes can wait,” she says as she places the casserole dish in the refrigerator. “Let’s call it a night.” I give my best friend a hug goodnight as we both head to our separate rooms. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, my work phone rings. I know it’s my work phone from the Soul Serenade song blaring from its speaker. Not willing to open my eyes, I reach for it and blindly slide my finger across the screen. “Hello?” “Logan?” “Yeah?” I recognize Kacen’s voice, which causes me to open my eyes. I’m now suddenly awake. “Hey, sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to tell you that the guys and I are doing another late night writing session, so you could come in a little later tomorrow if you wanted.” “Uh, okay. What time do you want me there?” I ask. “Sleep in, maybe start at ten? If you could swing by and pick up something for breakfast, that would be great. I assume Cassidy gave you your AmEx?” he asks. “Sure, ten is fine, and yes, she did. Anything else you need?” “No, I’m good.” He’s quiet on the other end and so am I. I don’t know what to say. “Logan?” His voice is soft. “Yeah?” I almost whisper just from the softness of his voice. “Sweet dreams.” Just like that, he’s gone. The silence on the other end of the line is because he ended the call. His voice was so sincere. I lie awake for the next several hours contemplating what I’m doing. Was it the right decision to keep the job? To work for him? I’m still attracted to him, and just the sound of his voice and those sweet words “sweet dreams” has my body feeling all warm in places that should not be reacting. In the early morning hours, I decide that tomorrow I will use my extra time before heading into work to apply for a few positions online. Just in case.
I’m kicking myself in the ass for calling. Why did I call? I should have just texted her. Nope, I called, and her sleepy, sensual voice has me wound tight. She took that from me. She left my bed before I could wake up next to her and witness it firsthand. Not only that, but her sexy sleep-laced voice has me hard as a rock, and for the second night in a row, I’m taking matters into my own hands. I feel like a randy teenager all over again. After a quick, necessary shower, I lie awake in bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling. We had a good session tonight. We’ve almost got a complete song, lyrics and music. They guys kept making comments about Logan. How good of a cook she is, how pretty she is, how sweet she is. I surprised myself when I wanted to strangle all three of them and tell them she’s mine. I’m man enough to admit that the green-eyed monster of jealousy was rearing its ugly head. Jealously. It’s a new emotion for me. In my past relationships, if the guys would have said those things, I would have just laughed or agreed and went about my normal day. Tonight, it took all my patience to not throw down my guitar, stomp my foot, and declare her all mine. I believe that would be called a temper tantrum, and I was ready to blow. She’s not mine. My curt, “Knock it off, I thought we were writing,” must have been a big enough clue to my bandmates that Logan was not up for discussion. Now that I think about it, those fuckers were trying to get a rise out of me. I fell for it, but how could I not? It’s Logan. I wake to a smell that has my stomach grumbling. I slip on a pair of basketball shorts and head for the kitchen. Surely the guys are not cooking. It’s nine-thirty, so Logan is not due for another thirty minutes. I reach the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks. Logan is bent over looking into the oven. Her ass is in a pair of those jeans, you know the ones with the bling on the pockets. I’m not much up on brand names, but those jeans . . . they made those with Logan’s ass in mind. I swallow back the moan that tries to escape. “You’re early.” Logan jumps and then turns to face me with her hand over her heart. “You scared the hell out of
me,” she scolds. My eyes follow her hand as it rests against her breast. She’s wearing a tank top, not too tight or low-cut, but it makes a soft silhouette of her breasts. I quickly avert my gaze. I do not need to remember her pert nipples or how soft yet firm they felt under my touch. Nope, do not need to go there. “Sorry. I smelled whatever it is you got going on there.” I point to the oven. “Yeah, I went to the grocery store and decided to make a breakfast roll.” “Breakfast roll?” “Yeah, it’s croissants with sausage, cream cheese, and shredded cheddar cheese. You layer it and then roll it and bake it. It’s good, I promise.” “I have no doubt from the smell. How much longer?” I ask as I make my way toward the coffee pot, which is also next to Logan. “Just about ten more minutes.” I busy myself making a cup of coffee. Leaning back against the counter, I cross my legs and take a sip. My eyes follow her as she bustles around my kitchen. She chose to wash the dishes by hand instead of placing them in the dishwasher. My guess is that she’s trying to keep the place decent for Nancy. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?” she asks as she leans against the island, facing me. “Writing.” “How’s it going?” “Good, last night we pretty much finished an entire song. We usually work on each one until we get it perfect, well, perfect for us. We’ll fine-tune it a little today, and then move on to the next one.” “Do you all just stop at a certain number of songs?” She seems to be genuinely interested. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation like this about my passion with anyone other than the guys or our parents, definitely not with a woman. “Not really. We have several that we’ve written in the past, but we decided not to record them on the album. We usually have between ten and fifteen songs on each album.” I take a drink of my coffee. Her eyes stays glued to me; I have her undivided attention. “We usually write ten or so more than we will need. Then we even go back to old works and combine everything to determine what will go on the album. Sometimes we change a few lyrics and the beat on something we wrote two years ago, and it makes the cut. All four of us get to choose one each that we insist goes onto each album. The rest of the songs have to be mutually agreed upon by all four of us.” “That’s awesome! I love how you each get to have your own pick, your mark on the album. I mean, your mark is there because it’s your material, but to know that you can pick one song that really speaks to you, you’re lucky the label lets you have that freedom.” “They pretty much let us have all the say. We’ve made them a lot of money. Actually, the guys and I have thought about starting our own label.” “Really? Wouldn’t that take time away from touring?” she asks. I nod. “It would, but we all agree that being on the road all the time is not what we want to do forever.”
“No?” I take another sip of my coffee. I’ve already given her more than most. Then again, the others have never asked, not like Logan did. There’s just something about her. “So, what is it you want out of life, Kacen?” Lifting my head, I capture her gaze. Those big brown eyes are watching me, waiting for an answer. Logan is a ‘what you see is what you get’ kind of girl, the girl next door. She doesn’t play games, and she doesn’t care what my net worth is. She’s real. She deserves nothing but the same in return. Real. So I give it to her. “I want to make music. The writing process is what I love. It’s always been a passion of mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love performing, but the constant travel and being shoved into the limelight gets old quick. I could do without the groupies.” She chuckles at this. “Come on, really?” she asks. “Yes, really. Do you know what it’s like to never know if the person you’re with is with you for the right reasons?” I watch as her cute little button nose scrunches up as she processes my words. Might as well go all in. “I hope to someday be married and have a family. How is that supposed to happen when I can’t trust anyone around me? Fame brings deceit, and even though that same fame has given me a comfortable life, I find myself more often than not wishing for the normalcy.” “Wow,” she whispers. “I guess I’ve never really thought of it that way. Your life, the lives of other musicians and celebrities, just seems so glamorous. I guess what they say is right: the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” This causes my lips to tilt up in a smile. “Have you been hanging out with my mother?” I ask her. “Uh . . .” Her response only makes my grin grow wider. “I’ve heard her say that exact phrase my entire life.” I see understanding cross her face. “Well, she must be an amazing woman, your mother.” The oven timer goes off and Logan springs into action, our conversation over. “Should I go wake the guys?” “Nah, they’ll smell it and wander in.” I’m not ready to give up this time with her. I really like talking to her. From the moment I met her, there has been this . . . magnetic field that pulls me toward her. It’s not something I’ve ever experienced. It’s also hard to fight. I have to continue to remind myself that she’s now my employee.
Saved by the timer. Kacen, at first glance, is eye candy. Kacen opening up, admitting that he wants a wife and kids in his future, that Kacen, he’s captivating. The combination is lethal. I pull a knife from the butcher ’s block on the counter and start slicing the breakfast roll. I freeze when I feel his hand on my body. He places it gently on the small of my back as he steps around me. His feather-light touch lingers as he reaches in the cabinet and pulls down five plates and places them on the counter next to me. “Thank you.” My voice is breathy. I need to get myself together. Must not lust after the boss. I feel his breath against my cheek. “You’re welcome,” he says, leaning in close, his front is pressed against my back. His voice is deep and sexy as hell. Is it normal to be turned on by just his voice? He slowly steps away and I miss the feel of his body pressed against mine. “Fuck, that smells so good,” Cole announces as he strides into the kitchen and straight to the stove to see what I’ve made. “What is it? You know what, it doesn’t matter. It looks as good as it smells.” I smile and hand him a plate. “You’re the best, Log,” he says, kissing the top of my head. “Damn, girl, I could get used to waking up to you,” Tristan says, joining us. “We may have to draw straws,” Gavin says as he follows Tristan to the stove. “Enough!” Kacen barks. I don’t turn around. Instead, I hand Tristan and Gavin their plates and then make one for Kacen. I turn to take it to him and he’s there. Our chests bump into one another and he reaches out his hand to steady the arm that holds his plate, while his other hand locks around my hip, holding me to him. I look up to find his eyes, those cerulean orbs, filled with heat. My breath catches in my chest. Very slowly, he lifts the hand that reached out to steady mine and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Leaning in, he softly whispers, “Sorry.” His hands then drop to his sides and he takes a
step back. Neither one of us says a word as I lift the plate toward him. He takes it, allowing his fingers to brush against mine. “Thank you.” I nod, then turn back to the stove. I finish slicing the roll, sure the guys will be back for seconds. Taking a deep breath, I turn to face them. “Okay, I’ll just be in my office if you need me,” I say and start for the door. “Logan,” Kacen calls for me. I stop and look over my shoulder. “Are you not going to eat?” “No, I had a bagel before I left my apartment.” I turn back around, but before I can take a step, he’s calling my name again. “Logan.” I again look over my shoulder. “You can eat here with us, and you don’t have to rush off to your office. There’s not a lot for you to do right now anyway, besides keeping us fed.” He grins. “You got that covered, baby girl.” Cole grins then shoves another bite into his mouth. Kacen elbows him in the ribs. He just grunts and continues to eat like nothing happened. “I don’t want to be in the way,” I say. “You’re not. Come and sit with us, take a break.” Kacen tilts head to the empty seat on his other side. “I’m good, really.” I turn back around. “I am the boss, am I not?” I hear him all but growl. This brings me to a halt once again. “Yes.” I don’t bother turning around. “Then sit. There is nothing pressing that you need to get to.” I want to stomp my foot, wrap my arms across my chest, and push out my bottom lip in a pout. However, I can’t. He is my boss, and he has requested, no . . . demanded that I join them. My heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty. I remind myself that this is a normal reaction to a guy who altered my world on its axis. I just have to learn how to control it, to not let him see me sweat. To get over the fact that he probably ruined me for all men. He’s my boss. Turning to face them, I make my way to the table and take the empty seat next to Gavin. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare look. Instead, I turn to look at Tristan who winks at me. He swallows the gigantic bite he just took and flashes me a grin. “So, Log, what’s for lunch?” He sounds so much like a little boy I can’t help but laugh at him. “No plans yet, you have a request?” “Nope, just as long as it’s home cooked. So far everything you’ve made us has been delectable, darling.” He pitches his voice. We all break out in laughter at his antics, and I relax. The four men who make up Soul Serenade are not at all what I would have expected. They are fun-loving, down-to-earth guys, who live for their love of music. I’m reminded of the saying ‘never judge a book by its cover,’ and all that.
Over the next several weeks, this becomes the norm for us. I make them three meals a day and coordinate their schedules with the label. Gavin, Cole, and Tristan have taken on the big brother role when it comes to me. They still flirt, but it seems to only be when Kacen is around. Kacen, he’s just . . . I don’t even know. I had hoped, as my time working for him went on, that I would learn how to control this . . . desire I have for him. The night that we spent together is always in the front of my mind. I can’t seem to get past it. We both remain professional. There have been a few innocent touches that overheated my senses, but that happens when I am just standing next to him. Sometimes I catch him watching me, and I think he might be thinking about that night too. However, the look doesn’t last long, and I realize that it’s all me. I’m wanting him to be just as affected by me as I am by him. My cell phone alerts me to a message.
Stacy: Hey! We’re going out tonight. I won’t see you for two weeks.
I grin. Stacy leaves for vacation with her family for two weeks. They invited me to go along, but I declined. I didn’t want to leave the guys. I know that they are making great progress on the new album and, well . . . I just didn’t want to go.
Me: Sounds good. What time will you be home?
Stacy: I’m about ten minutes out. Had to stop for gas. You home?
Me: Yes.
Stacy: Awesome! See you in a few.
I decide to go ahead and jump in the shower and start getting ready. Who knows where we will end up tonight, but I’m excited to spend some time with my girl. It took us less time than usual to get ready for a night out. We both rushed through our routine, excited about the night ahead. We’ve both been busy with our new jobs and have not been out since before we came back from Hawaii. “We need to eat first,” Stacy says as she instructs the cab driver to drop us off at a local pizza joint. I don’t argue the fact. If alcohol is involved, food is a necessity. I’m more of a casual drinker, but something tells me that tonight my bestie and I just might tip the scale on casual drinking. “You want to split a pizza?” I ask her. “Yeah, sounds good.” We place our order and discuss work and her upcoming vacation. We ordered a large and both only ate two pieces. “We should have thought this out a little better.” Stacy laughs. “What a waste.” Leaving a tip and the left over pizza, we decide to walk to the bar. It’s a small little hole in the wall in downtown Nashville. The music is always awesome and the crowds guarantee a good time.
“Selfie.” Stacy throws her arm over my shoulder and holds the other out in front of us while we smile big for the camera. She pulls back and starts tapping buttons so I know she’s loading it to the many social media sites she frequents. Just like that, she slides her phone into her pocket and grins at me. “Let’s do this.” She pulls me to the dance floor. We move our bodies to the beat and sing at the top of our lungs. This is our thing. This is what we do. I’ve missed spending time with my bestie. Song after song we stay on the dance floor. I throw my hands over my head and rock my hips to the beat. I watch as Stacy mimics me, then her eyes go wide. She’s looking over my shoulder. The next thing I know, I feel two large, strong hands grip my waist. I feel his hot breath against my ear. I smell him, Kacen. “What you’re doing should be illegal,” he growls in my ear. I don’t stop; instead, I lean against him and continue to sway my hips. His hold is tight as he matches my rhythm. Looking up to get Stacy’s reaction, I see that she’s found some attention as well. Cole is pressed up against her grinding his hips. One song leads into another and the four of us dance the night away. Gavin and Tristan join the fun with a couple of girls who have been dancing with us all night. My body is wound tight from dancing with him. His calloused hands roaming over my body, his hips and the very noticeable bulge thrusting against me. I need a break. I motion to Stacy and point to the restroom. She shakes her head no. Great, I’m on my own. I pull away from Kacen but he doesn’t let go. Instead, he places his hand on the small of my back and tilts his head toward the back of the bar toward the restrooms. He’s going with me, so much for the break. “I’ll be right back,” I say. Now that the noise level is bearable, I don’t need to shout. Kacen nods and leans his back against the wall. I take my time hoping that he’ll get tired of waiting, even though deep down I know he won’t. He’s not that guy. Taking a deep breath, I open the door and there he stands. His hair is messy, and there’s a five o’clock shadow on his face. He’s wearing a tight grey t-shirt that shows off his arms and his ink. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from propositioning him. He is my boss after all. As soon as I reach him, he grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall, in the opposite direction of the dance floor, where the lighting is practically non-existent. We reach the end of the hall and he stops, turns to face me, and steps forward until my back is against the wall. “You’re making this so fucking hard, Logan.” His body is pressed tightly against mine. He runs the rough pad of his thumb across my bottom lip. “How am I supposed to resist you like this?” He’s been drinking so I’m not sure if this is really him talking. I’ve not been around him when he’s drank this much. “I think about that night. Every fucking day I think about what it felt like to be inside you.” He leans down and kisses my neck. “I want you. I know I can’t fucking have you, but I want you.” He doesn’t give me time to reply as his mouth crashes against mine. I’m powerless to resist as our tongues duel. His hand traces my thigh as he lifts my leg and wraps it around his waist, holding
me there. The other slips under my tank and skims the length of my belly. I want him, too, but I know I have to stop this. My head is fuzzy from the alcohol, but I know that we can’t do this. He’s my boss. Freeing my leg from his grasp, I plant both feet firmly on the floor, place my hands on his chest and push. He immediately stops and steps back. My eyes follow his hands as he runs his fingers through his hair. He watches me intently with a look of . . . longing in his eyes? Before I can decipher it, he runs his hands over his face and exhales. Dropping his hands, he reaches for mine, laces our fingers together and leads me back to our friends.
The guys and I are killing this new album. We’ve been focused and the results are kickass. Gavin says it’s Logan, that her cooking inspires us. Although I don’t buy into his line of bullshit, I can agree that I like having her here. It took us a week or so to find our groove. I can’t say that it’s any easier being around her. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about what it felt like to be inside of her. Each day, I follow up the memory with a reminder that she works for me and I can’t touch. The fucking struggle is real. Last night is a vivid memory. I was ready to fire her if that’s what it took. I know for sure this would not be the first employer/employee relationship to turn into more. I’ve never wanted another woman like I want her. I’m beginning to wonder why I’ve vowed to never touch her againWhen I say wonder, what I mean is obsess. I’m a fucking train wreck waiting to happen with this girl. Yet, I continue to keep things as professional as possible. I find myself biting my tongue when I want to tell her how fucking hot she is, or when she’s dancing around in the kitchen, I fight with myself to keep from telling her how fucking adorable she is. That’s the thing with Logan. She’s the full package. She can be hot as hell, turning me to granite with just a simple look, and then adorable, causing me to want to pull her into my arms and just . . . snuggle her. Like I said, train wreck waiting to happen. I open the shower door and hear my cell phone ringing. I quickly grab a towel and tie it around my waist. Snagging another and running it over my hair, I make my way into the bedroom for my phone. As soon as I have it in my hands, it stops ringing. I watch the screen, waiting for the missed call notification to appear. Logan. I swipe the screen and immediately call her back. Please don’t let her be calling to quit. I know that I crossed a line last night, but I just . . . I had to kiss her. “Kacen, I’m sorry, did you get my message?” she says. I can hear the frustration in her voice. “No, I just missed you. I was in the shower. I didn’t bother to listen. I just saw that I missed you and called you back. What’s wrong?”
She releases a heavy sigh. “My stupid car is making some kind of grinding noise. I’m going to be late. I’m sorry.” “Logan, it’s fine. What’s wrong with your car?” That thing is old and I worry about her driving it. Of course, I bite my tongue. As her employer, it’s not my place. “No idea. I’m going to call a cab, so I don’t really know how long before I get there.” “I can come and get you,” I offer. “I can’t ask you to do that.” “You didn’t. I offered. Besides, I can take a look at your car while I’m there, and we can get it towed to the shop for repair. In the meantime, you can borrow one of mine until it’s fixed.” “Thank you for the offer, but—” I cut her off. “Logan, you use your car to run errands for me and the guys all the time. Really, text me your address, and as soon as I get dressed, I’ll be on my way.” I hang up, not giving her the chance to argue with me. Within five minutes, I’m dressed and out the door. I pull into her apartment complex and spot her car. Luckily, the spot next to her is open, so I pull in and turn off the engine. I find her apartment with no trouble and knock on the door. I hear footsteps and then the sound of her turning the locks. “Hi.” “Hey, did you even check to see if it was me?” I ask her. “Yes, I did.” She points to the peephole. I nod, letting her know I approve. “Come on in.” She steps back from the door, allowing me room to get past her. “I made a fresh pot of coffee, since I know you came straight here from your shower.” “You’re too good to me,” I tell her. I’m not just blowing smoke up her ass; she truly is amazing. I’m shocked after last night that she’s being this nice. Then again, this is Logan. I’m too much of a chicken shit to bring it up. I don’t want to hear her tell me that it’s never going to happen. I can still taste her. It’s all too soon for that conversation. I hope that it doesn’t come up. “Oh, go on,” she teases. I take in the little apartment that she shares with her best friend, Stacy, who was Lynn in Hawaii. I chuckle at the thought that we all used our middle names. “Here you go.” She hands me a steaming cup of coffee just as there is a knock at the door. “Huh, I wonder who that could be?” she says, walking toward the door. “Did you forget to cancel the cab?” I ask. “No, I hadn’t called yet.” I watch her stand on her tiptoes and peer through the peephole. “Shit!” she whispers as her feet relax back against the floor. “What’s wrong?” “Uh, nothing, it’s just Daniel.” “Daniel? The ex-douchebag?”
“That would be the one. Let me get rid of him.” She takes a deep breath and opens the door just a crack. “Daniel, what are you doing here?” she asks him. “Logan, I’ve missed you. I saw your car and thought maybe you had the day off. I thought we could spend the day together.” Not on my watch. I set my cup down on the table and quietly walk toward the door. “Not interested in your games, Daniel. It’s over between us.” “Logan, come on, you don’t mean that. We were good together. Three years, you’re just going to throw that away?” She scoffs. “Me throw it away? Really, Daniel? Do you even hear yourself right now? You fucking strung me along for three years! I lost three years of my life that I WILL NEVER GET BACK!” “Come on, now, we can work this out,” he pleads with her. I’ve heard enough. I step up behind Logan, aligning my body with hers. I place one hand on her hip and the other on the door, pulling it all the way open. Releasing the door, both hands now reside on her hips, and I pull her into me. She tenses for only a second. Placing my lips against her ear, I whisper, “Follow my lead.” I’m sure to him it looks way more intimate, which is just an advantage for me. Pulling away, I drop a kiss on her temple. I want to say it’s all a part of the show I’m about to put on, but that would be a lie. I’ve got her in my arms. She smells incredible and I just can’t help myself. I’ve thought of this more times than I care to admit over the last month. I cracked last night under the pressure. I would like to blame it on alcohol consumption, but I can’t. It’s just her. I can’t resist her. Acting as though I just remembered douchebag was there, I extend my hand. “Kacen. How do you know my girl?” I ask. Confusion crosses his face. “Your girl?” douchebag asks. Crossing my arms over her stomach, Logan relaxes against me. “My girl,” I repeat for him. “What the hell, Logan?” He gives her a hard look. Standing to my full height, with Logan’s tight little body wrapped in my arms, I pin him with a stare. He immediately backs up a step. When I speak, I make sure my tone is menacing and my stare never wavers. “Let’s get something clear right now. You will not speak to her like that. I know who you are, and your history with Logan. I believe my girl has made it clear she’s done with you. I can, however, say that I’m glad you stopped by today. We get to have this nice little chat and set things straight. I also get to meet the jackass who fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him.” I kiss Logan on the temple to calm my nerves. I’m really trying hard to be civil here. “You will leave her alone. No more text messages, no more phone calls, and no more surprise visits.” Although he looks like he could piss his pants, he still runs his mouth. “I suppose you think you can stop me from seeing her? She was mine for three years.” He smirks. “I know Logan well enough to know she wasn’t cheating on me, so that means you’ve known her, what, a few weeks at best?” “Daniel, just leave, please. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you it’s over before you let it sink in. I’m done.” Reluctantly, I release my hold from around her waist, stepping in front of her, bringing me
closer to this Daniel character. I step closer and feel Logan move with me. Her hands clench the back of my shirt. “Trust me, I know her. I know every delectable inch of her beautiful body. I know how she tastes, and I know what it feels like to come inside of her. She’s mine. Don’t think I won’t hear about it if you keep harassing her. I have attorneys on retainer who will eat you alive.” I get right in his face. “Try me, motherfucker. See what happens to you when you mess with what’s mine.” I can see the worry in his eyes. He doesn’t know who I am. He sees my ink and views me as a thug. What did Logan ever see in this chino wearing pansy-ass? He looks around me to get a view of Logan. She must sense the movement because she steps up beside me. I immediately wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into my chest. “Last chance, Logan. When you come to your senses and drop this loser, I won’t be waiting for you.” “It’s over, Daniel,” Logan repeats. “Whatever, bitch—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish whatever he was going to say. I grab him by the collar of his shirt and push him up against the wall. “What did I tell you about talking to her like that?” I pull my arm back ready to blow when I feel her hands pulling it back. “Kacen, please. He’s not worth it.” Her eyes are pleading. There is a double meaning. If the press were to get ahold of the fact that I assaulted him, without him throwing the first punch, they would have a field day. Who am I kidding? They will twist it and have a field day regardless. I release him. “Get the hell out of here. Forget her name, forget her number, forget her address. Forget her.” He rubs at his neck, giving us each one last hard look, before turning and walking away. I watch him until I can no longer see him. “Well, that was fun,” I say, turning to face Logan. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Thank you for stepping in. You didn’t have to do that.” Her voice is soft. In one long stride, I’m standing toe to toe with her. I place my index finger under her chin and tilt her face up to me. Big brown eyes filled with hurt and shame stare back at me. “He’s a fucking idiot. If you were mine, I would never let you go.” Knowing that it’s supposed to be wrong, I just don’t give a fuck. I lean down and place a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. She releases a soft gasp of surprise, but doesn’t pull away. I kiss a trail to her ear. “You deserve better,” I whisper. It takes extreme effort, but I stand to my full height and take a small step back. “I’ll . . . um . . . I’ll just get my purse.” Her voice is whisper soft as she turns and walks into her apartment.
What just happened? This morning has been a roller coaster of emotions. Disappointment: my car acting up and being late for work is frustrating as hell. Anger: Daniel showing up thinking we could just rewind, that is, until he needs another break. Desire: from the second Kacen placed his hand on my hip to open the door, desire coursed through my veins. Factor in the kisses to my temple and the way he defended me, calling me his. I wish I was. Then there was the kiss, just a whisper of a touch on the corner of my mouth, my cheek. His words. Everything from that night in Hawaii comes crashing back into me. The way he touched me, held me. Sometimes there are moments like today and I think he remembers too and he wants me. Other times, I feel like I’m just Logan, his personal assistant. When I see what looks like fire in his eyes for me, my mind begins to race. If I were to find another job, then he would no longer be my boss. I find Kacen leaning against the hood of my car, feet and arms crossed. I can see the corded muscles in his arms, his ink catching my attention like it always does. The memory of those powerful arms holding himself above me as he pushed inside . . . GAH! Kacen holds his hand out and I drop the keys into them. I stand back and watch him unlock the door and then try to start the car. He tries a few times and this time, there is no sound. Nothing happens at all. He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, taps the screen a few times, and puts it to his ear. I can hear the low rumble of his voice, but I cannot make out what he’s saying. “Okay,” he says, climbing out of the car. “I called a friend of mine who owns a garage. He’s going to come and tow it to his shop and see if he can diagnose it. I’m not a mechanic, but it could be as simple as your battery.” “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” He nods. “Let’s swing by and pick up some breakfast. I’m sure the guys are wondering where we are.” “I can make something.”
“No. This morning has sucked ass for you. Just take a break, Logan. For the last month, you have made us three meals a day. One day of greasy breakfast sandwiches is not going to kill us.” He winks. I don’t argue with him. Instead, I slide into the passenger seat of his truck and fasten the seat belt. Kacen pulls into the McDonald’s drive thru and orders so much food that they lady behind the speaker sounded hesitant, as if he was pranking her. After reading it back to him for the second time, he assures her the order is correct and pulls to the first window. She looks surprised and relieved when he hands her his credit card. When we make it back to his place, the rest of the guys are sprawled out across the living room, still half asleep. “Oh, thank God!” Tristan says as we walk into the living room. “I’m starving.” I can’t help but laugh at his theatrics. I empty the four large bags on the coffee table and leave them to it. “Logan, eat.” Kacen always insists I eat with them. “I will. I’m just going to put on a pot of coffee and grab a few bottles of water.” “We can do it.” He goes to stand, but I hold my hand up to stop him. “It’s fine. I don’t have much of an appetite anyway. It will only take me a few minutes,” I assure him. I set the coffee pot up to brew and grab five bottles of water out of the fridge. When I turn around, Kacen is there. He reaches for the bottles of water and sets them on the island. I let out a little yelp of surprise when his hands find my hips and he lifts me to sit on the island as well. His palms are flat against the island on either side of my hips. His forehead is resting on my shoulder. I’m too stunned to say anything. My palms are sweaty, so I rest them flat against my lap. My heart is thundering in my chest; I know he can hear it. I try to focus on taking deep even breaths. Finally, he slowly lifts his head. His face is close to mine, so close that I can see the swirl of blues in his eyes, just like the ocean. “Logan,” his voice is gruff, “I—” “What are you two doing in there? Kace, I thought you were bringing drinks?” Cole yells out. Surprising me further, he presses his lips against my forehead and backs away. His hands are still flat against the counter, caging me in. Gently, he grips my hips and lifts me, bringing my feet back to the floor. “Kace!” Gavin calls out. “You get lost, man?” Kacen takes a deep breath and releases his hold on me. I watch him as he picks up four bottles, leaving one for me, and leaves the room. What the hell was that? I want to rewind three minutes and hit replay. I want Cole to have not yelled out and interrupted us. What was he about to say? “Logan! Get your fine ass out here before we eat it all!” Tristan yells for me. I can’t help but smile. Grabbing my bottle of water, I make my way to the living room to have breakfast with the boys of Soul Serenade. Kacen’s eyes find mine as soon as I enter the room. He looks at the empty spot next to him on the love seat. I take that as I’m supposed to sit beside him. I grab a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel and take
my offered seat. “So, is that hot roommate of yours seeing anyone?” Cole inquires. “Not that I’m aware of. I’ve not talked to her much, and she left last night to go to Florida with her parents for two weeks.” “Didn’t she just start a new job too?” Kacen inquires. “Yes, but she’s known about the trip for a while. She made sure to tell them during her interview.” “So you’re staying alone all week?” Kacen questions. I nod. “Yeah, it’s quiet when she’s gone.” “Is your place safe?” Tristan asks. “As safe as it can be, I guess. We have a deadbolt on the door and we’re on the second floor.” None of them say anything else, but I can tell they want to. Honestly, not one of them has a leg to stand on. I’m their employee, or Kacen’s really. It’s an odd situation.
I hate the thought of her staying in her apartment alone. Yes, she’s a grown woman, but what if the douchebag comes back? I don’t really expect him to. I saw the fear in his eyes, but you just never know about people. I want to demand that she stay here. There are more than enough bedrooms. Hell, she can sleep in mine. Fuck! I cannot let my mind go there. I’ve had a hard time keeping my hands off her today. What started out as a means to get the guy to leave her alone, turned into me yearning for more. In the kitchen, I just couldn’t help myself. I wanted to tell her I don’t care that I’m her boss, that what we do is no one’s business but our own. We’re adults. Luckily, Cole interrupted us before the words left my mouth. They were on the tip of my tongue. It’s not that I don’t want her, I do. I ache deep inside from wanting her, but I know from hearing her talk and conversations we’ve had that she no longer believes in the promise of love. That fucker messed with her head, strung her along, and made her feel like she wasn’t enough. It’s taking extreme effort for me not to demand she stay here. I shove another bite of my sandwich in my mouth. Logan’s cell rings and she pulls it out of her pocket. I continue to eat, but listen intently. Yeah, it’s rude, but I don’t care. “What?” she says, shocked. “How long?” She seems troubled by whatever the person on the other end of the line is telling her. “Are we allowed in at all?” she asks. My attention is now piqued even further. “Right, okay. So we need to just wait to hear from you?” She waits for an answer. “Thanks for calling,” she says as she taps the screen and lets her hand that was holding her phone fall between us on the love seat. “What’s wrong?” I rush to ask her. I can tell that whatever she just learned has upset her. She’s staring off into space and chewing on her bottom lip. I’m jealous. “Logan,” I say her name again, trying to get her attention. Resting my hand on her arm, I gently run my fingers back and forth, hoping it will help calm her. “Logan, babe, you’re scaring me. What happened?” My voice is gentle, yet firm. I’m ready to flip the fuck out! Snapping out of it, she turns to face me. “That was the management company for my apartment. Apparently, the unit above mine sprung a leak in their kitchen. It leaked into ours. Our kitchen was the
only room affected.” That’s not so bad. “Okay,” I say, because that doesn’t sound like it’s too bad. “They’re going to fix it, but we can’t stay there while they are. Stacy and I will need to find a new place to stay until it’s finished.” Finally she turns to face me. “Can I, I hate to ask this, but I need to go find a hotel room I can rent for an undetermined amount of time.” Fuck no! “Stay here.” The words fly from my mouth. “I can’t stay here.” “Why the hell not?” I bark at her. She flinches at my words. I know they sounded harsh, but, damn it, I don’t want her staying alone in her apartment, and I’m putting my fucking foot down now. She’s not going to stay in some cheap hotel. “Yeah, why the hell not?” Cole asks her. Thank you, Cole! “Logan, listen to me. I have the space. There is no reason for you not to stay here. You’re here every day anyway. It’ll give you time to get your car fixed.” I stop there before I start pleading with her. “At least stay until Stacy comes home. You don’t need to be staying in a hotel by yourself,” Gavin chimes in. My boys got my back. “I’ll drive you to your apartment and we’ll get whatever you’ll need for the next week or so,” I offer. “They said it could be two weeks, possibly more.” “Okay.” This is not something that is going to change my mind. I want her here. “Yeah, you can hang out with us, join us in a few writing sessions. Besides, who doesn’t like a sleepover?” Tristan winks at her. Fucker! He’s doing it to rile me up, and if it were not for the fact that he’s trying to convince her to stay, I would punch his ass. Gently squeezing her arm, I ask, “What do you say, Logan?” “Really, I should get a hotel. When Stacy comes home, she’ll need a place to stay as well.” “Done. She can stay here too. It’s a nonissue.” Those big brown eyes take me in. She’s looking for a sign that this isn’t really what I want. She won’t find it. “Fine. Yes, I’ll stay. Thank you so much for offering,” she says softly. She has no idea. “Let’s head to your place, check out the damage, and pick up whatever you need.” “If you don’t mind, I can borrow a vehicle and go myself. I know you have things to do.” “I’m actually still tired, heading back to bed. You all good with writing a little later?” Tristan asks. He just redeemed himself. “You don’t need to be packing all that shit by yourself.” I realize my words sound harsh. “Logan,
let me help you. I want to. Trust me, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t offer.” “Thank you,” she says, a slight blush crossing her cheeks. I want to grab her face in my hands and kiss the hell out of her. Instead, I just nod and stand to get rid of the trash. I want her here, but now I have to worry about how I’m going to keep my damn hands off her while she is.
I cannot believe I agreed to this. Just as he said, Kacen drove me to my apartment so we could survey the damage and pack up what I would need for the next week or so. Our kitchen ceiling is pretty much on the floor. I just left it as it was. There were a few picture frames on the counters that I didn’t want to get ruined, everything else was either already ruined or could be replaced. So here I am, in my room at Kacen’s. I followed him up the steps as he led me to the room across from his. “Make yourself at home, Logan. If there’s anything you need, let me know,” he says as he sets my luggage on the bed. “I’ll leave you to unpack.” He was out the door before I even had a chance to thank him. There seems to be some tension between us today. Then again, maybe it’s just me. I can still feel his arms around me. I unpack my two suitcases and decide to call Stacy to let her know what’s going on. Her cell goes to voicemail so I leave her a message. “Hey, Stace! There was a leak in the apartment above ours. Our kitchen is pretty much destroyed. I’m staying at Kacen’s until it’s repaired. He said you are welcome here as well. When you get home, call me. We can pick up what you need from the house. Call me.” There’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” I call out. Cole opens the door and sticks his head in. “Hey, we’re going down to the basement to start writing. You want to come sit with us?” he asks. “I don’t want to be in the way.” “Trust me, you will not be in the way. Besides, my boy seems a little distracted, not sure he’ll be worth a shit knowing you’re upstairs,” he admits. “I’m always upstairs when you’re writing,” I remind him. He nods. “Yeah, you are, but that’s during the day. Now you’re here sleeping in his house.” “I’m not sure how that makes a difference. I can go to a hotel if that will help.” Panic starts to rise. I thought they wanted me here. “Fuck no! You are not going to a hotel. Listen, he wants you here; we all do. It would be nice for you to come downstairs and join us.”
I nod that I heard him. He taps twice on the door before softly closing it behind him. I think about what he said. Why would Kacen not be able to concentrate? Is he worried about me being here in his house? Why did he offer for me to stay if that’s the case? Gah! I’m such an idiot. Why did I agree to stay here? He’s my boss, nothing more. But he’s sexy and sometimes when he looks at me, I can’t think clearly. Damn hormones! I pull up hotels on my phone and call to make a reservation for the night. I’ll figure out which one I can stay at long-term tomorrow. Right now, I just want to get out of here. I quickly re-pack everything I just finished unpacking, grab my purse and my phone, and open the bedroom door. Kacen is there with his arm raised as if he was getting ready to knock. He smiles as he looks down at me. I can tell the minute he sees my suitcases. “What the fuck, Logan? Where are you going?” he demands. I square my shoulders and lock my eyes on his. “To a hotel.” “What happened?” “Nothing, I just don’t want to be in the way here. I’m your employee. I should not be staying here.” Kacen places his hand on my shoulder and gently guides me back into the room, shutting the door behind him. He keeps walking until the back of my legs hit the bed, gently pushing me to sit down on the edge. With his index finger, he raises my chin to meet his eyes. “Logan, we both know you are more than just my employee. We don’t talk about it, but it’s there.” He tucks a stand of hair behind my ear. “I feel it just as strongly as I did then, standing on the beach the first time I lay eyes on you.” I nod. He’s right. There is something more, and neither one of us has acted on it. “I want you here. Hell, you’re practically a part of the band.” His blue irises study me. “What changed your mind?” he asks softly. Almost as if he’s afraid to hear the answer. “Cole asked me to come down while you all write tonight.” He nods and smiles. “Yeah, you should.” “He also said you would be too distracted if I was up here while you all were trying to work.” “Hmmm. He’s right, you know. I would be distracted.” My chest is tight from his admission. I try to stand, and his hands come to my shoulders and push so that I continue to sit on the edge of the bed. “Logan.” He says my name reverently. “Although Cole was looking out for me, he should have explained himself a little better. I would be distracted. Not because you are in my house, or upstairs alone, but because anytime you are anywhere near me, I want to be right next to you. Do you not wonder why, if we write during the day, it’s upstairs most of the time? Do you not wonder why I’m always the only one awake when you get here each day? I want to be wherever you are.” I suck in a breath. Did I hear him right? He wants to be near me? “So, please, Logan, please stay here. I want you here.” He reaches down and laces his fingers through mine. “Come downstairs with me, hang out with us while we work.” Leaning down, placing his lips next to my ear, he whispers, “Please.” How do I say no to that? I nod my agreement. “Okay,” I say softly.
I feel the feather-light press of his lips against my temple, and then he’s gone, lifting my suitcases onto the bed. “Let’s get you unpacked.” I place my hand on top of the case he’s about to open. “I can do it.” “Okay, but it needs to be done before we head downstairs. I’ll wait in the hall for you.” He looks from me to the bags then turns and walks out the door. Holy shit!
As soon as I shut her bedroom door, I pull my phone out and text Cole.
Me: Logan was packed and leaving.
Cole: WTF?
Me: She said you talked to her, didn’t want to be a distraction.
My phone rings and his face lights my screen. I hit ignore and lean back against the wall across from her door. My phone dings with a text.
Cole: THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!!!
Me: I know, but that’s what she heard.
Cole: Did she leave?
Me: No, I stopped her. She’s unpacking, and then we’ll be down.
Cole: Good
I hear her door open, so I slide my phone back in my pocket. “We good?” I ask her. “Yeah.” “Good.” I grab her hand, lacing her fingers through mine, and lead her down to the studio in the basement. I know I’m pushing boundaries. The fucking lines are starting to blur. I want her. I’ve been good about hiding that, but something happened between last night and today when I told her douchebag ex that she was mine. She was curled in my arms as I said the words, and it felt . . . right. Hopefully, I’ve bought myself some time to figure this shit out. I lead her into the studio, her hand still laced in mine. All three of the guys notice, but don’t say a word. They know what it means. She’s the first girl any of us has had down here. We write alone, until
now. Tugging her against my chest, I place my lips next to her ear. “I want you next to me.” Logan sucks in a deep breath at my admission, and if I had not had my eyes glued to her, I would have missed the faint nod of agreement that she gives me. Keeping my hold on her, I walk to the far wall and grab my guitar. I then lead Logan to an oversized chair. Each of us have our “spots” that we like to be in when we’re writing. It wasn’t something we planned, but just became routine. This oversized chair is mine. Tilting my head toward the chair, I indicate to Logan to sit. She does, keeping her hands clasped tightly in her lap. I’ve touched her a lot today, more than I should. I know I’m crossing lines, but I really don’t give a fuck. All I do is think about her, dream about my hands all over her tight little body. Rules be damned, I want her. Feeling the eyes of my bandmates boring into me, I take my seat in the oversized chair next to Logan. I sit on the edge and angle my body toward her. I know she’s nervous, confused. I’ve done a complete change on her today. I can’t fight it. I don’t want to fight it. I refuse to fight it. Her teeth clasp onto her bottom lip and desire rushes through me. Yeah, it’s hot at hell, but that’s also the same move she made when I was buried deep inside of her. Leaning forward, I gently tug on her bottom lip with my thumb, setting it free. “You’re making it really hard for me not to kiss you,” I say softly. Her eyes grow large, then dart around the room to see if the others had heard me. They hadn’t. I kept my voice low, just for us. Regardless, they know what’s up. They’ve been riding me for weeks about her, and I jump down their throats every fucking time they get near her or even speak about her in any way that indicates she’s more than their PA. I’ve pretty much already staked my claim in their eyes. You can’t spend as much time together as we do and not learn how to read each other. I fought it. They knew it was coming. Pulling away from her, I grip my guitar and raise my eyes to see if they’re ready. All three of them are wearing knowing smirks. Shrugging, I begin to strum a few chords on my guitar. I need to let Logan in on the change. I just need time to convince her, wear her down, so she understands this is the right thing. We can be together with her still working for me. Hell, I’ll hire another PA, whatever it takes. I know she loves this job, so I don’t want it to come to that, but if that is the only thing that stands in my way, you can bet your ass it’s going to happen. I want her.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. I keep repeating the words in my head. Kacen is acting . . . different. Over the last few weeks, I’ve felt tension between us. There would be subtle touches or a wink, but nothing like last night and today. It almost seems like when he pretended like we were together when Daniel showed up at my place earlier, that he’s still . . . acting? I want to say it’s all just an act, but I know better. I can feel it. I can feel his eyes rake over my body, memorizing what they see. I can feel the heat of his body when he stands next to me. I can feel his hands, his gentle touch. It’s not just an act. I have no idea what this means. I work for him, and being involved is a bad idea. We both agreed that moving forward as if Hawaii never happened was the best course of action. It was a good plan, solid except for the fact that we spend five days a week with each other, and now . . . now I’m staying here. This was a bad idea. The sound of Kacen’s voice brings my attention back to the present. Not that it was ever far away with his body pressed next to mine. Oversized chair my ass! His voice is deep and smooth like velvet. The sound alone sends desire coursing through me. I sit quietly with my hands folded in my lap, just taking it all in. I take the time to watch each one of them. This is truly their passion. “Hold up,” Tristan says. They all stop and wait for his instruction. I watch as he closes his eyes and taps his foot. Surprising me, Kacen drops his hand to my thigh and rests it there, casually tracing circles with his thumb. “He’s working out a beat,” he says low enough that only I can hear. I don’t reply, afraid my voice will give me away. His hands on me for . . . I’ve lost count of the number of times today. My body is screaming for him, but my head is telling me no. I couldn’t make
it work with Daniel so how in the hell am I going to make it work with a rock star? Kacen is tall, dark, and so handsome it’s sometimes painful to be around him. Painful because I think of that week we shared. I study him with his chiseled jaw sporting a five o’clock shadow, dark hair that always looks like I just finished running my hands through it. His broad shoulders, six pack, and oh, yes . . . the V, and his array of tattoos is one hard to resist sexy package. Tristan works the beat out in his head and gives his bandmates a nod, and just like that, they pick right up where they left off. I’m mesmerized as I watch them create what could possibly be the next big hit. This is an experience I will never forget. I love music, and being able to witness this creative process is something I will always cherish. I jump when I feel my phone vibrate. I am so in tune to them that it scared the hell out of me.
Stacy: I got your message. That sucks. You can stay at Mom and Dad’s.
That’s probably where I will go until it’s ready. The spare key is in my desk at the apartment. “Is that him?” Kacen leans in to peer at my phone. I show him the screen and say, “Stacy.” He nods. “You’re good here.” His simple statement leaves no room for argument. I can’t help but think this is going to make it even harder for me. I think about him all the time, think about that night. I’m still not convinced staying here is the best choice. His hand again falls to my thigh and he gives a gentle squeeze. “I want you here.” Four simple words. Regardless of what my head is telling me, how do I say no to that?
Me: I’m good here. Maybe when you get back next week, if it’s not fixed by then.
Stacy: Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. So how’s the rock god?
Me: Good. The guys are all super nice. But after last night you already know that.
Stacy: YES!!!
Me: LOL
Stacy: Gotta go. Offer stands if you change your mind.
Me: Thanks.
Clicking out of the messages icon, I see it’s after midnight. “I think I’m going to call it a night,” I say as soon as there is a break in the action. Kacen immediately stands and holds his hand out for me. I take it, thinking he’s just being polite and helping me up since we are sitting so close together. Wrong.
He keeps my hand in his grip while leading me to the back wall to place his guitar on the stand. “That’s it for tonight. See you all in the morning.” He doesn’t stop to say goodbye, goodnight, kiss my ass, nothing. He just leads me out of the room and up the stairs.
She’s tired, so it’s time to call it a night. Why? I have no fucking clue. It’s not like I get to slide into bed beside her and wrap her in my arms. Nope, I get to walk her to her bedroom door and tell her goodnight. Regardless, I know my concentration would be shit for the rest of the night. The guys are going to give me shit for this. We walk silently through the house and head upstairs. I stop in front of what I now consider her room. Without thinking, I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her. She fits me. I don’t know how long we stand there, but eventually, she pulls away. I want to tighten my grip, but I know I’ve already pushed the barriers today. Instead, I cup her face in my hands and get lost in those big brown eyes. When her breathing starts to change, my mood brightens. She feels it too. Leaning down, I press my lips to her forehead. “Goodnight, sweet Logan,” I say, pulling away. Reluctantly, I drop my hold on her and we are no longer touching. “Goodnight, Kacen,” she whispers before disappearing into her room. Knowing if I don’t retreat to my room, I’ll be busting through her door, I turn and twist the handle of mine instead. Like a fool, I put her in the room just across the hall from mine. At the time, it made sense in my head. What if she needs something? I’ll be right across the hall. It’s also the opposite end of the house from where the guys stay, when they stay. Usually they spend their nights here when we’re working on a new album. It’s not like I don’t have the space. They know she’s off-limits, and after tonight, me bringing her to our writing session, they understand why. Hell, I’m finally starting to work it out myself. I’m more than attracted to Logan. It started as just that. Thoughts of the week in Hawaii, the night I got to feel her from the inside. I assumed it was just me not being able to forget how great she was, how great she is. I’m man enough to admit it’s more than that. There are no stars in her eyes when she looks at me, no dollar signs. She’s easygoing and gives
just as good as she gets. Her dark brown hair and those chocolate eyes are a lethal combination. She commands attention just by walking into a room. Only, she doesn’t see it. She has no idea how gorgeous she is. Logan’s the real deal. Needing yet another cold shower, something that has come to be a staple in my day-to-day over the last several weeks, I strip down, careful of my tenting erection, and climb in. I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from yelling out as the cold water hits me. Unfortunately, it does nothing for the pole between my legs. No point in suffering the cold water. After adjusting the temperature to something more bearable, I brace myself with one hand against the shower wall. The other grips my cock. Closing my eyes as I begin to stroke, it takes no effort to bring back the image of her beneath me. Her hair spread out on the white sheets. The sparkle of lust in those big brown eyes, the way she would lift her hips to meet mine thrust for thrust. The heat of feeling her from the inside, the way her body used mine to bring us both crashing into orgasmic bliss. Just like my fifteen-year-old self, I reach my climax in record time. Lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling. Although I’ve been getting up early each day to be in the kitchen when Logan gets here, I’m still used to staying up late with the guys. What the fuck is the deal with me and this need I have to be as close to her as possible? She’s here in my house, and I’m so fucking gone for this girl that I have to go to bed just because she does. Tonight, sitting with her, having her witness my passion, it solidified what I’ve known, but have been fighting. Hell, this entire day has me suddenly seeing things more clearly. I want her. I want to be as close to her as possible. I’m all in. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her see that. Whatever it takes to evolve this relationship and have her continue to work for me. I could hire someone else, but I don’t want to. I trust Logan. Tonight, I touched her every chance I got. Resting my hand on her leg, holding her hand. She didn’t flinch. I could see the confusion in her eyes. She needs to get used to it. I’m staking my claim. I know jackass did things to her, made her feel like she wasn’t worthy. The way he treated her altered her idea of relationships. It’s now my mission to change that. I’ll show her how good it can be, how good we can be. I smile to myself. I hope she’s ready for Hurricane Kacen. I’ll prove to her that she’s more, that she’s worthy, and we belong together. I’m determined to make her mine.
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. However, once I finally did, I slept great. I woke up at my normal time, and considering I don’t have a commute today, I decided to start on breakfast for the guys. I know Kacen ended the session when he walked me to my room. I heard him go into his room as well, so I assume the guys went to bed early too. At first, I thought it was weird how they all practically live here, even though it’s Kacen’s house. After watching their interaction the past several weeks, it makes sense. Especially considering they are working on the new album. Last night provided me with a completely new outlook on the dynamics of the group. It also increased my respect for all four of them. They’re goofballs on the best of days, but they dedicate 110 percent of themselves to their music. I decide to make cinnamon French toast. I’m standing at the stove, waiting to flip the first batch, when I feel strong hands grip my waist and scruff scratch the side of my face. Kacen. “Morning, beautiful,” he says as he places a tender kiss on my cheek. At a loss for words, I stand still as a statue, waiting to see what he’ll do next. Keeping his hands on my hips, he leans over my shoulder. “French toast. It smells incredible.” His words are soft and spoken next to my ear. His voice is gruff from lack of use. It sends tingles throughout my body. Not to mention that he’s pressed tight against me. “Th-Thank you,” I stutter. I swallow hard and try again. “This first batch is almost ready.” “Damn, Logan! Can you just move in? Waking up to your cooking could spoil a guy,” Gavin says, joining us. “Might not be a bad idea,” Kacen whispers. I’m shocked, not only by his words, but how he’s acting with me today. Yesterday was just an . . . off day, with the run-in with Daniel and deciding to stay here, at least until Stacy gets home. Today, I’m at a loss. I don’t know why he’s acting like this. Like we’re together. It’s confusing and it’s hard for my head to control my heart when he’s standing this close.
“Go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it to you,” I say, flipping the first batch of toast. I don’t look over my shoulder at him. I just keep my eyes trained on the griddle. “Can I do anything?” he asks. “Nope. I’m good here. Just go take a seat and I’ll make you both a plate.” “You don’t need to wait on us.” “I want to, now go.” I wave the spatula in the air, hoping he takes the hint. He does, but not before kissing my cheek. “Thanks for breakfast,” he says, then releases his hold on me and joins Gavin at the table. I try like hell to ignore my body’s reaction to him. I focus on breakfast. The first batch of French toast is done. I plate it, sprinkle on some powdered sugar, and set a plate in front of each of them. I know it won’t be long before Tristan and Cole come wandering in, so I keep cooking. I make them both a plate and just finish sprinkling the powdered sugar when they walk into the kitchen. Tristan is rubbing his eyes and Cole is wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. His eyes are not even half open. They both plop down at the table. I carry their plates and slide them in front of them. They both mumble what I think is “Thank you” as I walk back to the stove. “What the fuck, man?” I hear Kacen’s voice. I don’t turn around. I just keep working on my next batch. “What?” Cole answers. “Where in the fuck are your clothes?” Kacen says through gritted teeth. “I—” Cole tries to speak, but Kacen cuts him off. “You don’t need to be walking around in front of her like that. What the hell, man? You knew she was staying here. Hell, you knew she was cooking breakfast. Why the fuck didn’t you get dressed?” he seethes. “Didn’t think about it,” Cole mumbles. I imagine he just shrugged his shoulders as well. I don’t turn around to see. I just continue to cook. “If you’re going to stay here, you need to wear fucking clothes,” Kacen spits out. “Dude,” Tristan says. “What? He’s practically naked.” Okay, I’ve heard enough. Turning to face the table, I say, “Kacen, it’s not like he has something I’ve never seen before. He’s covered. None of you should have to change your ways just because I took advantage of your generosity. Besides, I’ve seen Cole in his underwear before.” Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. “What the fuck? What do you mean you’ve seen him in his underwear before?” he asks. “Hello? I’m here five days a week all hours of the day. I’ve run into all of them at one point or another, well . . . except you.” Kacen runs his fingers through his hair. I can see his wheels turning as he processes what I’ve just told him. Pushing back from the table, he comes to stand in front of me. He cups my cheek with his big hand. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. You shouldn’t have to see that.” I get lost in the blue of his eyes as he watches me. “Never again,” he says loud enough for them to hear. “Do you hear me? I want you all clothed in front of Logan,” he says, still looking at me.
“Kacen,” I whisper his name. “It’s fine. It doesn’t bother me.” Leaning close, his voice feather soft, he says, “It bothers me, babe.” Okay, then. I nod once, letting him know I’m not going to argue with him, and turn back to the stove. His hand drops from my face. I’m working on my next batch when Kacen appears beside me. He has his plate in his hand as he leans against the counter, finishing his breakfast. Biting my tongue, I make each of them another plate, then make me two pieces as well. As I sit at the island to eat, Kacen pulls the stool out beside me and sits down. “So what’s on the agenda for today?” This is not normal for us. Is he concerned I’m not doing my job? “I have to call Cassidy today. She left me a message last night saying she has something she wants me to run by you guys.” “After that, maybe you can take a break? Let’s go for a swim,” he suggests. “Kacen, you pay me to work, not swim.” “I pay you to keep us organized, to keep us fed. You do that; hell, you excel at that. Take a few hours to relax.” Wow. His words touch me. I try to remain professional and keep up with the demands of the job. I’m thrilled he thinks I’m excelling. It took me a while to get into the swing of it, but now I field fan mail, take care of landscapers, cleaning staff, and basically every other need he or the band may have while they are here. I’ve also been working with Cassidy and the label on scheduling some appearances for later in the year when they hope to have the album complete. It’s unreal how far in advance you have to plan for the release. I’ve learned a lot, and I love what I do. All the more reason to keep my head controlling my heart. “Let me see what Cassidy wants and how long it takes to get through the messages today. Maybe later this afternoon.” “Fine.” He places his hand on top of mine. His thumb gently rolls across my knuckles. “This isn’t a conventional job, Logan. As long as it’s done and you are here if I need you, that’s all that matters. If you get it done in ten hours per week, good for you. I’m still going to pay you your full salary. I see how hard you work. We’re not an easy bunch.” “Speak for yourself,” Cole chimes in. “That’s enough from the naked peanut gallery. Finish eating and get some damn clothes on.” “Like I said, I’ll see how it goes.” “Fair enough.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing his hold on me. However, he remains on the stool beside me, making casual conversation while I finish eating. My head tells me he’s just being friendly, my heart tells me he feels the connection too. I’m in so much trouble.
I’m sitting out on the back deck thinking about breakfast. All was going fine until Cole strolled in practically naked. Fucker. I’m going to need to talk to all of them. They can’t do that shit with Logan here. “Hey, man,” Gavin says, stepping out the patio door. I tilt my head back, acknowledging him. “What was that earlier?” he questions. “What?” I’m playing dumb. I know exactly what he’s talking about. Maybe if I play it cool, I won’t have to spill my guts. Then again, it’s not like they don’t know my intentions. “That shit with Cole.” “Logan doesn’t need to see the fucking twig and berries flapping in the wind. You all need to keep your junk covered if you’re going to stay here.” Gavin chuckles at my analogy. We’re both quiet for several minutes when he says, “So, she’s it, huh?” There is no need for him to elaborate. I know exactly what he means. The four of us grew up together, and we’ve talked about what would happen to the band if any of us found “it,” the one person who is our game changer. I know for me it’s Logan. Crazy, I’ve known her, what, three months, but when you know, you know. I spend every damn day with her, and each day I fall under her spell just a little more than the last. “Yeah.” Gavin nods. “I can see it. She’s the total package. Does she know?” Nope. “She suspects.” I know she sees the difference in me, the way I am around her. I just can’t fight it any longer and I won’t. I need her to realize that ex of hers didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. He lost the best thing that ever happened to him just to get his dick wet with someone else. I can guarantee that will be a mistake he regrets the rest of his life. “I’d say, between last night and today, she has a fairly good idea.”
“It’s getting her to believe that she’s what I want, that will be the issue. That douche she was with before really fucked with her head. Broke her heart over and over again. Why she ever stuck it out with him I have no idea.” “Yeah, she’s made a few comments about him and his ‘breaks’ that he would need. She’s a great girl. Guy screwed up.” “Damn right he did. He showed up at her place yesterday. Begging her to take him back. I stepped in.” Gavin grins. “Make your claim?” “Yes and no. To him, yes. I made him believe she was mine. It kind of threw things into perspective for me. Now I just need to get her on board.” “Well, as a third party, I watch you two. I see the way you both watch the other when you think no one is looking. Just keep up with what you’re doing. It won’t be long.” “Doesn’t matter how long it takes, she’s it,” I say with conviction. Reaching over, he grabs my shoulder. “Good luck, my man, you deserve it. I’m going to run home for a while. I think Tristan and Cole were thinking about the same thing. We thought maybe giving the two of you some time might help.” “Not necessary, but then again, maybe you’re right.” “It can’t hurt. Just spend some time with her. Let her set the pace.” “Well, that’s fine for now, but I’m not holding back. She can wait to be in my bed again, but she will know I want her there, that I want it all.” “Never thought you would be the first. I figured it would be Tristan.” He laughs. “The heart wants what the heart wants.” “Whatever you do, write that shit down.” He taps his chest. “I feel a Soul Serenade ballad coming on.” He smirks. I throw my head back and laugh. “I can do that, my man. It’s sure to be a hit with Logan for the muse.” “All right, I’m out. How about I tell the guys we’ll all meet back here tomorrow night?” “Sounds good, about seven. That gives me time with her.” We say goodbye and he’s gone. I can hear shuffling going on inside. Both Tristan and Cole text me that they’ll see me later, my boys got my back. I make my way inside, heading toward Logan’s office, when I hear her cell ring. Thinking it might be her ex, I stop and stand just outside the door, hidden from her view. “Hello?” She pauses. “This is Logan.” Another pause. “Yes, sir,” she says. “I’m currently working, but I could see if I could take a day or two off to come and meet with you.” Another pause. “I’m actually working as a PA for a popular rock band.” Who in the hell is she talking to? “No, I don’t really want to tell you which band. If I were to get the position, I would want it based on me and what I can bring to your company, not because I’ve met and worked for a famous band,” she says. What. The. Fuck. Is she looking for another job? Have I pushed her too far? My mind is racing when I hear her
say. “Okay, well, just let me know when you want to do the phone interview. On-sites will be possible, I just have to make sure my current position is covered before I fly out.” She pauses. “Yes, sir. Thank you.” I hear her set her phone down on the desk and release a heavy sigh. I want to rush in and ask her what the hell she thinks she’s doing. I want to demand answers, but if I know Logan, she’ll balk at that, and it will only push her toward this other position. The guys are gone and it’s just us. I need to use these next twenty-four hours or so to convince her she needs to stay, with me, for me. I count to one hundred and silently take a few steps back. With a deep breath, I walk heavy on the floor to alert her of my presence. I stop in her doorway. She looks up and her flesh is a light shade of pink. She’s embarrassed, more than likely she’s nervous that I heard her. “Hey, did you get everything taken care of with Cassidy?” “Yes. She wanted to know if you all would be willing to visit Children’s Hospital. There is a teenage boy battling cancer and he’s ‘your biggest fan.’ I didn’t even bother asking. I knew you all would agree. I told her to send me some dates and times next week and we would be there.” “Definitely.” Logan grins. “Good, now let’s go for a swim. The guys all went home for the night. They won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Time for a little break.” “I thought you all wrote through until you finished the album?” she questions. “That’s our normal routine, but we’re mixing it up.” “I’m sorry. I can leave. I knew me staying wasn’t a good idea.” I step into the room and around her desk. Kneeling beside her chair and clasping my hand around the back of her neck, I pull her closer to me. “You staying here is the best idea I’ve ever had. We’re on our own time frame and the guys just wanted to be in their own beds for a night. Besides,”—I run my thumb over the pulse in her neck—“this gives me time with you.” She opens her mouth to speak, and I place my finger over her lips. “I want to relax with you. Please go change into your swimsuit so we can sit by the pool.” I’ll beg her if I have to. She looks away and stares off for a few seconds, before those big brown eyes focus back on me. “Okay.” Her words are so soft I barely hear her, but I did hear her and my heart is racing. I’m fucking ecstatic to spend the day with her. “Perfect. I’ll meet you out by the pool.” I place a kiss to the tip of her nose and saunter out of the room.
I’m nervous. In Hawaii, I wanted Kacen. He was a nice guy with a body made for my viewing pleasure, and he was supposed to be a fling. Something that I’ve never done, but let my best friend convince me I needed. After my ‘on again off again’ saga with Daniel, I just wanted to feel . . . alive. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a man want me. Daniel, he said all the right things, but there was never passion or yearning in his eyes when he looked at me. Kacen, his deep blue irises burned with hunger, and it was all for me. It was different because I let myself indulge for once in my life. It was supposed to be ‘what happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii’ or stays in my head, but that’s not my reality. My reality is that Kacen unlocked something inside of me that night. I’ve never felt desire like I did with him. Never felt a kiss, a simple touch on my arm that would cause a need so deep inside of me that my breath would catch in my throat. He was a dream, a fantasy that I was able to live for a very short time, a memory that I will always cherish. My present reality is that same man is my boss. My boss who, as of the last two days, has been treating me like he did in Hawaii. He’s bringing back the fantasy, and the lines are starting to blur. My head knows that relationships are not worth the time, effort and, eventually, the pain they cause. My heart reminds me what it felt like to have him hover over me, to have him push inside of me, what it felt like to lose control. That man is sitting poolside waiting for me. That man is the one who just told me with conviction in his voice that he wanted to spend time with me. My head and my heart are in a battle, and I’m afraid to choose a team. I finish changing into my bikini, the same one I wore in Hawaii. I grab a towel, my Kindle, and my cell phone and head out to the pool. Kacen is on a lounge chair, his aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes from the warm summer sun. I can’t tell if he’s watching me. Sitting down in the chair beside him, I place the Kindle and phone on the table and squirt some sunblock in my hand. “Let me do that,” he says, sitting up. I guess that answers that question. His hands on me, can I handle that? Looks like I don’t have a choice as Kacen already has the bottle in his hand and is throwing his leg behind me to straddle me in the chair. “This might be cold,” he says softly.
If it is, I couldn’t tell you. My skin is on fire everywhere he touches. I sit still, my shoulders rigid while he rubs sunblock on my back and shoulders. His hands glide smoothly, slowly across my skin. He’s driving me crazy just from the touch of his hand. “My turn,” he whispers, his lips next to my ear. His places a quick kiss under my ear on my neck and stands up. I watch as he makes his way back to his lounger and sits with his back facing me. I stare at his broad shoulders, his tattoos covering his skin. I get to touch him. This is the perfect excuse. My mind says it’s not a good idea, but my heart is screaming, “Hell, yes!” Grabbing the bottle of sunblock that Kacen laid in my lap, I stand and take a seat on the edge of his lounger. “Closer,” he mumbles. I know what he wants. I stand again and straddle him from behind, which leaves him sitting between my legs just like I was his. I, however, don’t sit as close. I need to keep some distance between us. Kacen, on the other hand, is not having it. His hands grip under my thighs, and he tugs me forward. My front pressing into his back, my legs aligned with his. “Much better,” he says. He leaves his hands on my legs, tracing patterns against my heated skin. My chest rises and falls rapidly. I know he can feel it. My hands are resting on the lounger, sunblock in one and the other in a tight fist, fighting the urge to hold on tight and never let go. Kacen, always able to read me, pulls the sunblock from my hand and tosses it onto the concrete. He laces both of his hands with mine and pulls them to his stomach. Right against the rigid plane of his abs, which causes my head to also fall forward. I rest my cheek against his back. That’s when I notice his breathing is accelerated as well. At least I’m not the only one affected. He doesn’t speak and neither do I. I’m afraid to, afraid of what I might say. I’m afraid I might beg my boss for a repeat of our Hawaiian fling, the one that we’re supposed to forget. I can’t forget. This doesn’t help me forget. Being pressed tight against him, his hands holding mine against his skin. Definitely not helping. I don’t know how long we sit there , neither one of us willing to break the connection. It’s not until we hear Nancy’s voice that our spell is broken. I break the hold I have on him and maneuver myself to stand. Instead of taking my place on the lounger, I decide I need to cool off. Without looking back, I walk to the pool and dive in. My body is submerged and the warm water does nothing to diminish the feeling of his skin against mine. I swim a few laps while Kacen talks to Nancy. When she retreats back into the house, he meets me at the edge of the pool. Without a word, he sits on the edge and lowers his legs into the water. I keep swimming laps, trying not to let him see how our little display affected me. The next time I come up for air, Kacen is in the pool, standing on the side. I know because I swim right into him. His hands grip my waist and pull me against him. Pure instinct has me wrapping my legs around his waist. “Kacen.” I barely recognize my own voice as I breathe his name. “Shh, I just want you in my arms,” he says before burying his face in my neck. I don’t resist his touch; instead, I let my body melt into his. My head is screaming this is a mistake, yet my heart is smiling. My body is at war.
Why is everything so different with her? Every touch, every look, it’s all more amplified. It’s like my body is charged with a current from hers. As we stand here in the pool, her legs wrapped around my waist and my face buried in her neck, I’m worried this is too much, too fast. I need to back up a little and show her that this is more. I want more than for her to be back in my bed. I told Gavin she was it, and I meant it. There is no one like Logan. Lifting my head, but keeping my arms locked around her, I capture her gaze. “Tell me about you, Logan. Tell me about your family.” She seems surprised by my request. I want it all; I want to know everything about her. “Um, okay. My parents live in Cincinnati with my younger brother, Jase. He just graduated from high school and is going to Ohio State in the fall on a full-ride football scholarship.” “OSU is a great school, good football program. Your parents must be proud, both of their kids are successful,” I say. This causes a slight blush to cover her cheeks. “Yeah, they’ve always been really supportive of us. What about you? Siblings?” “No, just me and my parents. I must have been a hellion and scared them away from having more.” I laugh. This is a long running joke with my dad and me. “They’ve been married for thirty years. Mom had some issues, not sure what, and I was it for them.” “Yeah, my parents have been married for twenty-five years last month, which was nice. I got to see them right before when they came in for graduation. As you know, Hawaii was my graduation present,” she reminds me. Her family is only five hours away, but still that could be an issue for her. Her earlier phone call flashes through my mind. “What made you decide to stay in Tennessee?” “I love it here, and Stacy’s here. She and I have become really close. We’ve been roommates since our freshman year. I applied for jobs at home and here. Mr. Jones just happened to call first.” I don’t like the sound of that. Like working for me was her only option . . . until now apparently.
“You think you’ll ever move back to Ohio?” She shrugs and averts her gaze over my shoulder. Fuck! “I don’t know. I’ve not really given it too much thought.” Adjusting my grip, pulling her closer to my chest, I stare into her eyes. “What if there was something here worth staying for?” I ask. “Anything is possible,” she answers vaguely. “What about you? Born and raised here, right? Why not move to LA or New York?” “I hate being followed everywhere I go, the hustle and bustle. I love living outside of Nashville, the peace and quiet. I like being able to walk down the street and not be mobbed by paparazzi. I get noticed here, not as much, but the fans here are just different, more down-to-earth. It’s hard to explain.” “Would you ever consider moving?” she asks. Would I? “Yes, for the right reasons.” I would, for example, if she had to move back to Ohio to be near her family; I would follow her. If the guys could hear me now. “What is this, Kacen? What are we doing?” There it is, the question I’ve been waiting all day for her to ask me. “I want you, Logan. I want us. You’re all I think about. I can’t fight it anymore. Hell, I don’t want to. I know you work for me, but we can make this happen. I can hire someone else so we can be together, but, honestly, I don’t want to. You kick ass at keeping us in line and there is no rule book that says we cannot be together, even though you also work for me, for the band.” I lay it all out for her. “What does that mean? You want me?” I smile. “That, sweetheart, means I want you to be my girl. I want to touch you and kiss you anytime I want. I want you in my bed at night, even if it’s just to sleep. I want there to be an us, you and me. I’m all in.” Her breath hitches at my admission. I lean in and softly place my lips against hers. “Say you want this. Tell me you feel this connection between us.” “Kacen, yes, of course I feel it. It’s there pulsing, reminding me every day how my body responds to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. I work for you.” “Don’t care.” I kiss her cheek. “We can do this. We can have it all.” I kiss her other cheek. “What happens when you decide you’re done with me? What then? I’m left without you and without a job. I can’t do that. I’m sorry.” She removes her legs from around my waist and her hands from around my neck. I don’t stop her. I want to. Fuck, do I want to. I want to grab her and kiss the hell out of her until she admits we can do this. I don’t. It’s too much, too soon. I’ve come to terms with this. She needs time. I’ll be here, waiting for her to catch up. She’s worth the wait. Logan climbs out of the pool and starts to get dried off. Knowing she needs a little time, I swim a few laps, trying to give my cock time to deflate. Holding her like that has me hard as steel. I finish my laps and climb out. Logan is sitting on her lounge chair, sunglasses on, reading her Kindle. I run the towel through my hair, but don’t bother with my body. Instead, I lay the towel down on the lounger and opt to let the sun dry me. We sit in silence for so long I eventually drift off to sleep. I wake up to Logan standing over me,
shaking my shoulder, trying to wake me up. “We’ve been out here for a while now, and it looks like rain. Let’s go inside. I’ll make us some lunch.” Because I would follow her anywhere, I stand, grab her hand and hold tight as we walk back to the house. I thought she would try to pull away, but she doesn’t. I know she’s fighting her feelings, so I will continue to show her she’s what I want. Instead of letting her make us lunch, I help her. I make us both a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato while Logan cuts up some watermelon. She takes a seat at the island and I slide in next to her. “So it’s supposed to start raining. What do you say we spend the rest of the day watching movies?” I suggest. Glancing at me, she raises her eyebrow. “What kind of movies?” she asks. “I’m up for anything, you choose.” “Really, you’re just going to let me pick? What if I pick a chick flick?” she questions. “I’ll watch every minute of it. I just want to spend time with you.” “Kacen—” “Stop, I heard what you said earlier. I just don’t agree. I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this could go. I know you need time to think about it. I’ll give you all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” “So what, you’re just going to hold out for me? Not dating other people?” she asks. My hand caresses her cheek. “Baby, you’re all I see. There has been no one since you, and there will be no one after.” “You’re awful confident.” “Yes. I know how I feel, what I want. I fight for what I want. Waiting is not really my thing, but I can wait for you. I will wait for you to catch up to where I am.”
“Okay, so movie. You make the popcorn and I’ll pick,” I say as I stand and head toward the media room. “Living room,” Kacen calls out to me. “What?” “Living room, I want to watch it in there instead of the media room.” I don’t ask him why. I make my way to the living room and pull up Netflix. I surf through the options. I want something we can both enjoy. When I see Top Gun, I know that’s the one. It’s the best of both worlds. My dad and brother love this movie. Kacen comes in carrying a huge bowl of popcorn just as a loud crack of thunder hits. Not far behind is the downpour of rain hitting against the windows. “I love curling up with a good book or movie when it’s storming.” “Yeah? I’m not much of a reader, but I’ve been known to watch a movie or two. What’s our feature presentation?” “Top Gun.” “Seriously? You have to be the coolest chick ever!” he says enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah.” I grin at him. “Hit the lights.” He hands me the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of water. After turning off the lights, he sits down beside me on the couch. “Action,” he says with laughter in his voice. I take that as my cue to hit play. We both focus on the movie, silently snacking on popcorn. It doesn’t take long for the bowl to be empty. Kacen sets it on the table along with our empty water bottles. The rain brought in a cool front; the temperature in the house is getting cooler. Kacen must notice my shiver because he jumps from the couch and jogs down the hall. He’s back in no time with a blanket. He unfolds it and drapes it over my legs. “Thank you,” I whisper, not sure why. It’s not like we’re in a theatre.
Kacen nods and sits next to me on the couch, closer this time. His leg is touching mine. All that separates us is the blanket. I’m wearing a cover-up on over my swimsuit; it’s mesh, so basically nothing, and Kacen still has his board shorts on. I’ve been trying not to think about it or even look at him really. His abs, the six pack, the sexy V . . . yeah, distracting. About halfway through the movie, Kacen hits pause. He stands and holds his hand out for me. Confused, I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me up. Once I’m standing, he lets go of my hand and picks up the blanket. I watch as he sets the remote on the arm of the couch and then lies down, patting the spot in front of him. He wants me to lay with him. I want to. I want to feel him curled up behind me, his arms around me. I stand there, staring at him while I fight the same internal battle, my heart versus my mind. “I’ll be good. I just want to hold you, Logan.” How does a girl say no to that? He continues to break down my defenses. Deciding to take the leap, I lie down in front of him, my head resting in the crook of his arm. Once I’m settled, he throws the blanket over both of us. I feel his arm reach over our heads for the remote and he hits play. The movies starts and I try to focus on the screen, until his arm wraps around my waist. I feel his lips press against my temple as he releases a sigh of contentment. This was a bad idea. His warmth and smell surrounds me. I can’t fall into this, into him. Even as that thought runs through my mind, my body relaxes against him. I’m in trouble. The next thing I know, I wake with a jolt and see the TV is off, the house is dark, and the storm is still raging outside. I’m warm and so comfortable I don’t ever want to move. “I could watch you sleep for days.” Kacen! Slowly, I turn so we’re facing each other. It’s so dark I can barely see him. How was he watching me? “It’s dark,” I reply. He chuckles softly. “Now it is, but I could see you when you fell asleep from the glow of the TV. I turned it off so it wouldn’t wake you.” “You should have woken me. I’m so sorry. I’m sure you have better things to do than let me sleep on you.” I say the words, but make no effort to extract myself from his embrace. “Never. I missed this, you know.” What? “Missed what?” I ask confused. He traces the line of my jaw with his index finger. “This, waking up to you. I missed this in Hawaii. You were gone when I woke up.” Did he want me to stay? As if he can read my mind, he answers, “Normally, that wouldn’t bother me. I don’t do that often, but when I have, it’s me who’s sneaking out or kicking the other person out of my bed. I didn’t want that with you.” His voice is soft. “I wanted to wake up to you, see your hair a mess from our night together. Hear your voice raspy with sleep.” He places his lips next to my ear. “I wanted to make love to you as the sun came up,” he whispers. Holy hell! “I wasn’t sure what to do. I assumed I was making it easier for both of us, avoiding the awkward morning after,” I confess.
“I wanted more of you. I want more of you, Logan. I want all of you. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to see that.” Leave it to me to fall for a musician. A man who makes a living with lyrics. His words melt my soul. “It’s a risk.” He nods. “I won’t hurt you. Ever.” His words are unmistakable. “I just—” He cuts me off, placing his finger over my lips. “I’m here, waiting to hand over all of me. I’m just waiting for you to be ready to accept.” “What happens when you take you back? When you want to give all of you to someone else?” I asked this earlier, but it’s still a question that weighs heavy on my mind. His hand trails up and down my arm soothingly. “I know that you light a fire inside me like no one before you. I know that you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. That’s never faltered. Not once since our night together in Hawaii has that pattern changed. I fought what I feel for you. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore,” he says emphatically. “Kacen, I—” “Shh, just close your eyes, sweetheart. I know you need to process all of this, and I’m good with that. I just want to hold you. So close your eyes and let me do that, please.” Giving in, at least for tonight, I relax fully into him and close my eyes. Kacen gently places his hand on my back and runs his fingers back and forth until finally his touch lulls me to sleep.
The early morning sun forces me awake. Opening my eyes, I take in my surroundings. I’m in Kacen’s living room. Last night comes rushing back to me. I’m still snuggled on the couch with him. My back is to his front and his face is buried in my neck. I can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and each breath as it hits my skin. That’s not all I feel. His groin is nestled against me. I can feel it . . . feel him. “Morning, beautiful.” His sleepy voice startles me, causing me to jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” “I thought you were still asleep.” “It’s like my body is so in tune with yours that I knew you were awake and trying to figure out how to slip out of my arms. No way was I missing this again, waking up with you.” He’s making it so damn difficult to fight my heart. He’s this gorgeous, tattooed, body- made-forfantasies, rock star who uses his wordsmith ways on me. His words cause a flutter in my belly and my heart to race. Kacen is temptation at its finest, and right now, in this moment, I’m not sure how strong I am to keep him at bay. My mind continues to tell me to fight like hell to protect myself, protect my heart. My foolish heart is ready to jump head first into the unknown with him. “What are we doing today, love?” his sleepy voice asks. Love? There he goes again, one word making me feel like I matter to him. “I . . . I don’t know. I thought the guys were coming back today.” “Mmmm.” He nuzzles my neck, placing a tender kiss just below my ear. “Not until later tonight. Have you to myself the entire day.” He says this as his hand slips under my bikini cover-up and rests on my bare stomach. “Oh,” I say, not trusting my voice not to betray me if I say anything more. I remember the last time his large calloused hands were on my bare skin. Even though it was weeks ago, I can still see the entire night in vivid color in my mind. I’ll never forget it. “Maybe we—” He’s interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone.
Reaching out, I grab it from the table and hold it so I can see the screen, Daniel. “Let me answer it. I need to remind him that you’re mine,” he grumbles. Do I do that? It would help to make Daniel realize it’s over. Kacen takes the phone out of my hand and places it to his ear. I guess he’s made my mind up for me. “Hello?” His voice is raspy and deep. It’s obvious he just woke up. “She’s sleeping. I thought I told you to leave her alone. I’m not real thrilled that you keep harassing my girl,” he tells Daniel. “She doesn’t want or need to hear your bullshit apologies. She wants nothing to do with you.” His face breaks out in a grin as he hands the phone to me. “He hung up on me.” “Maybe he finally gets that it’s over,” I say. “If not, I’ll be here to remind him. I’m not just saying you’re mine because I want him to leave you alone. It started out that way, but if we’re being honest, in my mind, you were mine before I said the words. Now that I’ve told you what I want, I need for you to really believe them. I want us.” “So what were you going to suggest we do today?” I ask, changing the subject. “What if I said I want to stay right here, in this spot, until the last possible second? That I want to spend the day holding you?” he asks. “Why would you want to do that?” He releases a heavy sigh. “Because I have no idea when I’ll get to do this again. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for you to understand that you’re who I want. Because right now, in this moment, nothing even touches the idea of spending the day with you in my arms.” “Kacen . . .” I stop there because I have no words. He chuckles. “It was worth a shot. Okay, so what if we jump on the side by side and take a drive around the property? There’s a pond and some great shade trees. We can have a picnic,” he suggests. Turning over so we are now face to face, I ask, “You want to have a picnic?” “Yes,” he kisses my nose, “I want to have a picnic. Why is that so hard for you to believe?” “Well, I guess it’s not, really. I guess the shock is more that I’m with a man who wants to do something so . . . romantic,” I confess. “Logan, he’s a dick. He didn’t treat you right. You deserve someone who will always put you first. I’m that guy. I got you.” “Well, let’s see what you got, Mr. Rock Star.” His grin is infectious. With a slap on my ass and a chaste kiss to my lips, he’s climbing over the top of me. “Let the master do his thing. We’ll head out in an hour.” Looking at my phone, I see that it’s already ten in the morning. We slept late. Kacen sprints off toward his room. I assume it’s for a shower. He has a picnic to prepare. My excitement grows, wondering how he’s going to pull off a romantic picnic in an hour ’s time. Then again, all he needs to do is open his mouth and let the words he’s been spewing the last two days fly and I’ll be in a puddle at his feet. The man has skills . . . in more way than one. I lie on the couch for a few more minutes until I decide I need to get my butt in gear. Just as I reach my temporary bedroom door, Kacen opens his. He flashes me a devilish smile as he reaches out and snakes his arm around me. He drops his lips to mine and kisses me slowly, teasing me. “Forty-
five minutes, sweets,” he says, pulling away with a wink. Then he’s gone, sprinting down the hall to prepare our romantic picnic. Reaching down, I pinch my leg and pain erupts. I needed something to prove that I’m not dreaming. Something to prove that this is real. I’m not dreaming. He wants me. He wants an us.
I can’t believe I got her to agree to this. She pushes every time I pull. I don’t have much time, but the spot alone that I have in mind will crank up the romance factor. All I have to do is make sure that the delivery is there. I know she wants me. I can feel it every time I touch her. I can see it in those dark brown eyes when she looks at me. I’ve got this. Nancy does all of the grocery shopping. Logan offered, but I told her to just give Nancy the list and she would take care of it. It’s bad enough Logan cleans up after us. Nancy has less to do with Logan around. My first stop is the garage. I place a couple of blankets in the back of the Teryx. Then I grab the small soft-sided cooler and a couple of ice packs from the freezer and head back to the kitchen. After a quick survey of options, I decide on grapes, cheese and crackers, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Not the most romantic food, but I love them. My mom used to make them for me growing up. It’s like comfort food, and that’s what I want her to feel. I want Logan to be comfortable with me. I want her to be able to relax and enjoy spending the day with me. I hope to give her a glimpse of how it would be with us. I want her to let go of her fears and be with me, be mine. I add a few bottles of water and zip the top. Tearing off a few paper towels, I fold them and store them in the front pocket of the cooler. My mind runs through a mental checklist. I don’t want to forget anything. “Ready.” I turn to see Logan standing in the doorway. Her hair is pulled up in a knot on top of her head, a few loose strands frame her face. She’s wearing a tank top and a pair of tiny shorts. My eyes continue to take her in as they lock on her tanned legs, leading to her feet. Bright pink toenails and a pair of flip-flops. Meeting her eyes after undressing her with mine, I hold her stare as I stalk toward her. My hands grip her waist and I pull her against me. “You about made me swallow my damn tongue.” My voice is gruff, laced with my desire for her. Burying my face in her neck, I breathe her in. Forcing myself to pull away, I ask, “Ready to be wooed?” She throws her head back and laughs. “Let’s see what you got, rock star.”
Grabbing her hand, I lead her into the kitchen, pick up the cooler, and head for the garage. “This is what we’re taking?” “Yep. Have you ever ridden in one?” “No, we had four-wheelers growing up, but nothing like this.” “You’ll love it. On the way back, you can drive.” “Really?” she asks with excitement. “Yes, really.” I laugh at her enthusiasm. I help her fasten her seat belt, and then shut the door. “Don’t we need helmets?” “Not for what we’re doing. Seat belts are sufficient, besides I won’t be going that fast. I’m carrying precious cargo.” I watch the blush creep up her cheeks. I love that about her. As soon as we are out of the garage and on our way to the back of the property, I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh. I can’t help but touch her when she’s so close; besides, I promised romance. It takes about fifteen minutes to get to the pond. I park under one of the many shade trees and kill the engine. I can’t take my eyes off her as she takes in our surroundings. “Kacen, this place is beautiful. You own this?” “Yeah, it’s part of what sold me on the place. The house is great, a little big for what I need, but maybe someday I’ll be able to fill it with kids.” Her eyes go wide at my admission. I’ve mentioned before that I want a family. “My parents’ farm is like this. There was always an adventure waiting for me. My cousins, Blaise, Asher, Ember, and me would spends hours roaming, building forts. I have a lot of great memories. I figured if I was going to invest in a home, I wanted it to have unlimited possibilities,” I confess. “I’m impressed.” She grins. I climb out and jog around to her side to help her. I reach in the back and grab the blankets and cooler. “What can I carry?” she asks. I start to say I got it, but then I realize that if I give her something, my hand will be free to hold hers. “You can take these if you want.” I hold the blankets out to her. She takes them in one arm, and I immediately lace my fingers through hers. I will always take every chance I get to touch her. Hands down. I lead her down to the bank of the pond where a cluster of shade trees are nestled together. “When did you have time to have this mowed?” she questions. “I got a guy,” I say with a wink. “It’s part of the landscaper ’s job. I love coming out here, and keeping the grass cut, there are less ticks and . . . other critters.” “Nice.” Bringing our joined hands to my lips, I kiss her knuckles before releasing my hold on her. I take one blanket and spread it out on the ground, followed by the other. “After you, beautiful,” I say, sweeping my arm toward the blankets. She takes a seat and pulls off her flip-flops, setting them to the side. I set the cooler off to the side
as well, and then kick off my own flip-flops and lay down beside her. “It’s so peaceful,” she says, looking out over the water. “It is. This has always been my favorite part of the property, even more so now.” She raises her eyebrows in question. “You, my beautiful Logan Paige. You make everything brighter, better.” She averts her gaze, trying to hide her blush. “Come here.” I tap my belly. She hesitates before spinning around and resting her head there. Very carefully, I remove the band that’s holding her hair up and gently comb my fingers through it. “You can see it, right?” I ask her. I know she has no idea what I’m referring to. That’s all a part of my plan. “What’s that?” she asks, turning to look over at me. “Us, here together. Making memories.” “Kacen.” “Logan.” She closes her eyes. I watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest. My fingers continue to combing through her hair; it feels like silk. My stomach growls, cutting through our silence. Logan’s eyes pop open as she starts to giggle. Yes, giggle, and I want to bottle the sound. “I’m starving,” I say as she sits up, allowing me to do so as well. “Show me what you’ve got, Chef Warren.”
Kacen pulls items out of the cooler. “Okay, first we have the appetizer, which consists of cheese and crackers,” he says it like he’s a server. “For the main course, we will be having the ever popular peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” He pulls two of them out of the cooler. “And for dessert, we have fresh fruit.” He grins as he sets a bowl of grapes down on the blanket between us. “Gourmet,” I tease him. “Nothing but the best for my girl,” he fires back. I ignore his comment, at least I try to make him think I do. Inside, my heart is beating like a drum. I busy myself, taking the lids off the containers while Kacen grabs napkins and two bottles of water from the cooler. We both snack on the cheese and crackers. Kacen hands me a PBJ with a wink. I open the bag and take a big bite while looking out over the water. Kacen is quiet, so I turn to find him watching me. “I like having you here,” he says softly. His hand reaches out and his thumb swipes across the corner of my mouth. My eyes follow his thumb all the way to his lips as he places it in his mouth. “You had just a little,” he pulls his thumb from his mouth and brings it back to mine, back to the same spot, “right here.” Every touch, every word that comes out of his mouth has me wanting to fall into his arms and never leave. How is this my life? How did I go from the girl who wanted the white picket fence and two-point-five kids to the girl who fears it all? How did that same girl who fears what she once longed for find a guy like Kacen? He’s sexy as hell, attentive, and sweet. This inner battle I have going on is driving me crazy. How much longer will I be able to resist him? My mind drifts to the call I got about the job in Cincinnati. I had applied there the same time I applied for my job now. The thought of moving back home to be with my family was one that I wrestled with for weeks. I had decided that wherever the work took me was where I would go. Maybe I should take the job just to free myself from this war that my head and my heart seem to be having. Remove myself from the situation. Just the mere thought of never seeing him again causes my chest to ache. Without realizing it, my hand covers my chest.
“You okay over there?” Kacen asks softly. He reads me so well. I know he can see the emotions written all over my face. “I’m trying to work it out,” I tell him honestly. “When I learned the truth about Daniel, I made a vow that I would focus on me. Focus on my career and moving forward. I gave up the idea of love and fairy tales. That was my dream. I wanted to be married, have a family. I wanted that life. I was that girl.” I take a break, my eyes seeking his. He sits quietly, watching me, listening intently. I watch as he throws the food back in the cooler and lays back down on the blanket. He pats his belly, inviting me to once again use him as my pillow. I don’t hesitate. As soon as I’m settled, he runs his fingers through my hair. This gives me cold chills. “I had a plan. I was going to do me. Logan. I was going to push forward and never let anyone close enough to cause me that kind of pain. You know the funny thing is, when everything finally blew up, I wasn’t even really that upset. I had known for a while. I just didn’t want to deal with it. I had time to grieve the loss of what I thought we shared before I actually called it off.” I stop to collect my thoughts. “I’ve never admitted that. That I knew what he was doing.” I turn my head to look at him. “Then I met you.” “A day I’ll never forget,” he says softly. “You came crashing into my world and you changed me. When I left your bed that morning, I knew I would compare every man in my future to my one night with you.” I close my eyes and see it as if it just happened minutes ago. “I was okay with it. I had resolved that I would always have the memory of you. A memory so vivid it would never fade. I was taking you with me wherever this new journey took me.” “Come here.” I open my eyes and he motions for me to lie next to him. Without hesitation, I turn so I’m facing him and lie back on the blanket. His arm snakes around me as he pulls me close. “I’ve replayed every fucking minute of that night in my head a thousand times,” he says as his lips find mine. I allow myself to get lost in his kiss. It’s soft and gentle. His tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I open for him. I hear him moan in the back of his throat as he takes what I’m offering. I stop fighting the pull and just enjoy kissing him. Breaking the kiss, his ocean blue eyes are locked on mine. He props himself up on his elbow as I lie back on the blanket. Looking up at him, I ask, “How am I supposed to keep fighting this?” His hand cups my cheek and he runs his thumb across my swollen lips. “Don’t fight it, baby. I know you’re scared, but I got you. Let me show you how it feels to be loved by a real man.” “Kacen, I just—” “Shh. I fell hard and I fell fast. I know what I want, Logan. It’s you. All of you.” “I’m scared,” I admit. “Don’t be. I will never hurt you. If I’m ever given the honor to truly call you mine, I will cherish you with every breath I take.” Leaning down, he presses his lips to mine. That’s how we spend the rest of our afternoon. Kissing under the shade trees by the pond. Kacen never tries to take things further; he just kisses the breath out of me. He’s in the middle of telling me about his twin cousins, Blaise and Asher, and jokes the three of them used to play on their little sister, Ember, when his cell rings.
“Hello?” He listens. “Yeah, we’re here. I brought Logan back to the pond. We didn’t realize it was getting so late. We’ll pack up and head back. Be there in twenty,” he says, ending the call. “The guys?” I ask. He smiles. “Yeah, I didn’t realize it was so late. They picked up pizza. I’m sure you’re starving with our meager lunch, and we skipped breakfast all together.” His jaw clenches. “I need to take better care of you.” “I’m hungry, but I’m also a big girl. I can take care of myself.” He mumbles something under his breath as he folds up the blankets. Throwing the mostly empty cooler over his shoulder, he places the blankets under one arm, and slides the other arm around my waist. “Let’s get you fed.” He kisses my temple and guides me back to the side by side.
I load the cooler and the blankets and walk Logan to the driver ’s door. “Okay, let’s get you strapped in.” “What?” she asks, confused. “I told you that you could drive back.” I grin. “No, it’s okay. The guys are waiting on us.” “It’s just like driving a car. I promise we’ll be safe. Just take it slow.” “Are you sure about this?” she asks, gripping the wheel as I climb into the passenger side. “Yes. Now, like I said, it’s just like driving a car. Turn the key, gas on the right, break on the left.” She does as she’s told and moves the gearshift to “D” and gently eases her foot onto the gas pedal. . “You can give it a little more gas, babe.” Looking over at me quickly, she grins and presses down on the gas. My eyes widen in surprise. I throw my head back and laugh. Laughter that I’m sure can be heard over the roaring engine and the whipping wind. “This is so much fun,” she yells. I can’t wipe the grin off my face at seeing her this happy. She can drive every fucking day if she wants, anything to see that smile. I place my hand on her leg and give it a gentle squeeze, letting her know I’m here. The drive back is much faster than the drive to the pond. I took my sweet time on the way there. “This Teryx thingy is awesome,” she tells me just as soon as she pulls up to the garage. “When can we do that again?” she asks. Again, I laugh loudly at her enthusiasm. “Anytime you want, beautiful.” “Holy fuck! You let her drive?” Cole says from behind us. Logan unbuckles her seat belt and climbs out of the driver ’s seat. “What? Women can’t have a little fun too?” she asks him.
“Yes, you can. It’s just that stingy bastard never lets anyone drive. He likes to hog it all to himself,” Cole says. I make my way toward them and stop beside Logan. “She can drive anything of mine she wants.” “Holy shit!” Tristan says. “What?” Logan asks. “Let’s eat,” Gavin steers the conversation back to food. “Shouldn’t we put everything away first?” she asks. She’s always thinking of what she can do to help someone else. “Let’s get you fed.” I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her inside. “I can take care of that later.” We follow the guys into the kitchen. There are five large pizza boxes spread out on the island. “I got a little bit of everything,” Tristan explains. “Thank you,” Logan tells him as she takes a slice of pepperoni and places it on a paper plate. The rest of us just eat standing over the box. Our behavior causes Logan to laugh. “Seriously, you all act like it’s been weeks since you’ve eaten,” she teases. “I had a hard workout today, burned off some calories. It takes a lot to feed all this, baby girl,” Gavin waves his hand down his body. I reach over and smack the back of his head. “Her name is Logan.” Gavin smirks; he did it on purpose. They know not to flirt with her. “Who the fuck are you? Vanna White?” Gavin quips. “I got your Vanna White,” Cole says, grabbing his junk. I place my hand over Logan’s eyes and she rolls with laughter. Unable to resist, I lean over her shoulder and place my lips next to her ear. “I love that sound.” “I think I got the rhythm we were working on figured out. I want you guys to hear it, tell me what you think,” Cole tells us. “I was up until the early morning hours, but I think I’ve got it.” “Done,” Tristan says, shoving half of a piece of pizza in his mouth. “You coming down to sit with me?” I ask Logan. “I don’t want to be in the way.” “Never. That will never happen.” I tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. It’s still a little crazy from our ride back. “I want you there.” I do, I want her there. It’s weird because, before her, bringing a woman to a writing session was out of the question. Not that the guys would be pissed, it’s just not something you did unless you were sure she was it. By my insisting that she be there a few nights ago, I declared my hand to my boys. They know from that simple gesture how I feel about her. “I’m going to go put the Teryx up and take care of the cooler and the blankets. I’ll be right back,” I say, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. I want to kiss her, but I don’t know if we’re there yet. She let me get lost in her lips this afternoon, but that could have been a heat of the moment decision. I told her I would give her time, and I intend to, but the wait is going to damn near kill me.
It takes extreme effort to not watch him walk away. Instead, I focus on the piece of pizza that’s sitting in front of me. “What did you do to our boy?” Cole ask. “What?” “Kacen, he’s different with you,” Gavin explains. “He’s never let a girl sit in on writing, none of us have,” Tristan adds. “I’m sorry. I told him I would be a distraction,” I apologize. “Logan, you’re not a distraction. It’s fine that you’re there,” Gavin tries to reassure me. “We made this pact as a band, as brothers,” Cole begins to explain. “No women while we’re trying to focus on an album. Not unless she’s it.” “Okay, you’re confusing me,” I admit. “You’re it for him. He would have never agreed, let alone insisted that you join us if not,” Tristan says. My head is starting to spin. I can tell by the way they’re acting that they are deadly serious. “So, that means . . . what? That he wants to date me?” I feel ridiculous talking about this with them. They’re ROCK STARS! Cole doubles over with laughter. “Logan, he wants to more than date you. You. Are. It.” He emphasizes each word. “I can’t . . . How do you . . .” I can’t seem to find the words. “Now, you know what comes next right?” Gavin asks. “N-n-n-no,” I stutter. “We need to know your intentions toward our boy,” Cole says deadpan. Holy shit! Is this really happening? “I, we, I mean, I’m not sure. I work for him,” I say like an
idiot. “And?” Tristan asks. “It’s wrong,” I counter. “Says who?” Gavin fires back. I feel like I’m up against the firing squad. “What if he changes his mind?” I whisper the question. That’s really what it comes down to. I told Kacen as much earlier today. I’m scared he will change his mind, and I’m already falling hard for him; hell, I’ve fallen for him. I can at least admit that to myself. I will never recover if he changes his mind. Tristan walks over to me and places his arm around my shoulders. “You can’t think like that. Kacen knows what he wants. He’s not one to make decisions lightly. I talked to him while he was in Hawaii. He told me all about this amazing girl he met.” “We’ve watched him watch you for weeks. He never used to be up at the ass-crack of dawn, now he is. No matter how late we stay up working on the album, he’s up and showered before you get here,” Cole says. “He talks about you all the time. He gets on us for talking to you or even looking at you in a way that makes him feel like we would swoop in and try to take you from him,” Gavin adds. “He’s protective over you, and that’s never happened. With the few serious relationships he’s had, he’s never been like that,” Cole explains. “Hell, I would go as far to say that he’s in love with you.” I gasp for breath at his words, just as Kacen walks back into the room. I’m coughing like a fool as his big frame steps in front of me. “Logan, baby, what’s wrong?” I can hear the worry in his voice. I shake my head no, still coughing. He grabs Tristan’s arm and throws it off my shoulders. “Don’t fucking touch her. What happened? Someone needs to start talking.” I’m still hacking up a lung. Gavin hands me a bottle of water, and I’m able to take a small sip, which seems to help. I cough a few more times and take a few more small sips of water before I feel like it’s under control. Kacen is there in front of me, his hand rubbing circles on my back, begging me to tell him what to do. “I’m fine,” I say. “You are not fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “What happened?” he asks again. “Nothing, I was eating and it went down wrong. I’m okay,” I say, placing my hand on his chest. “Jesus.” He pulls me into his chest. “You scared the shit out of me.” “And I rest my case,” Cole says. Kacen doesn’t even bother to ask him what he means by that. He has a death grip on me as he gently runs his hand up and down my spine. He’s all hard and rigid, and yet he handles me with infinite care. Is that love? Hell, do I even know what love is? I thought that’s what I had with Daniel. I realized all too late that it wasn’t. I never felt for him like I do Kacen. He never made my heart skip a beat just from entering a room. It never felt like bolts of electricity flowing through my veins when he touched me. That only happens with Kacen.
I’m in love with him. “Logan, do you want to go lie down?” he asks. “No, Kacen, I’m fine, really. I just couldn’t stop coughing,” I reassure him. He cups my face in both hands and stares into my eyes. He must see what he’s looking for as he finally relents. “Okay, you all ready to get started?” he asks, releasing me. “Yep, we’ll see you down there,” Gavin says. The three of them leave us alone. “Come here, you,” Kacen says, pulling me back against his chest. “I know I just acted like an ass and completely overreacted, but your face was red and you were gasping and couldn’t stop coughing. Everyone was just standing around and . . . Fuck!” He pulls out a chair and sits down, pulling me between his legs. His head rests against my belly. I run my fingers through his hair. We stand like that until he gets himself under control. “That’s a first for me. I’ve never flipped out like that over . . . Logan.” He lifts his head and pulls my hand from his hair to rest over his heart. “You own me. I’m offering you everything I have to give.” “Kacen—” “Shhh. Don’t say anything. I just needed you to know.” He pulls my hands to his lips, kissing each one, and then stands. He doesn’t say anything else as he leads me down the steps to the studio. If I had not already realized that I loved him, that last little speech would have pushed me over the ledge.
Last night sucked ass! After I laid my heart at her feet, the guys and I tried to write. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I seriously thought something bad was wrong with her and flipped my shit. Who does that? She basically had a fucking tickle in her throat. Yes, that’s how she’s referring to it now. I lost my shit when I thought she was hurting. That is most definitely a first. We listened to the rhythm Cole worked out the night before and then we called it quits. I apologized that I just wasn’t feeling it. They know me well enough to know why. We decided they would all stay and maybe we could hit the ground running first thing tomorrow morning. We usually don’t work in the mornings, but then we don’t usually call it a night by ten o’clock either. To make matters worse, I slept alone. Unlike the night before when I held her in my arms all night. She went to her room and I went to mine. This made my already bad mood even worse. I’m fucking gone for this girl. So, here I am at six in the damn morning, crawling out of bed. I slept maybe two hours. I kept waking up and reaching for her. Instead of lying in bed awake, I decide to go for a run, something I’ve not done much of lately. I need to add that back into my daily routine, especially since I’m up early anyway waiting for Logan. When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see the light is on in Logan’s office. My feet carry me that way with the hope she’s up too. I stop and gently knock against the doorframe. “Shit!” she screams as she jumps in her chair. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing up?” she asks. I will never lie to her. “I missed you. I kept reaching for you, but you weren’t there. I couldn’t get back to sleep. What are you doing up?” I counter. She bites her bottom lip. “I couldn’t sleep,” she says, her voice barely a whisper. I step into the room. “Why couldn’t you sleep?” Those big brown eyes pull me in. “I missed you,” she replies. Finally! I fight hard not to grin. I feel like I’m making a breakthrough. I walk around her desk and kneel beside her chair, resting my hand on her leg. “You should have come to me, or called or
texted or sent a fucking carrier pigeon. You could have yelled for me, and I would have been there,” I say emphatically. She reaches out and places her hand on my cheek. She’s initiating contact, another breakthrough that has my heart pounding in my chest. “I didn’t want to wake you.” “It’s safe to say from this day forward, if you’re not tucked in beside me, I’m not sleeping for shit. Never hold out if you need me, Logan.” She nods then changes the subject. “So, Cassidy sent me an e-mail, and it looks like Sunday we, well, I mean, all of you will be visiting Children’s Hospital.” “We. You are included in anything and everything I do from here on out. I want you with me all the time. I can’t seem to get enough of you.” This causes her to blush. There’s my girl. “Okay, well, Sunday at one is when we’re supposed to be there. I have some swag all ready for you guys to sign for them.” She points to a box on the floor. “Thank you. Now let’s go get some breakfast.” “Wait, what were you going to do before you saw I was up?” “I was going to go for a run, but not when I can enjoy a quiet breakfast with you before the guys show up.” I tug on her arm and pull her into the kitchen. “Sit,” I tell her, pointing to the island. “Today I’m making breakfast for you. The guys can fend for themselves.” “I don’t mind cooking.” “Nope, I want to spoil you today. So, my dear, what would you like on your bagel?” I say it with a straight face. Logan, on the other hand, bursts out laughing. “What are my options?” she asks when her laughter is under control. “Let’s see. We have butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, jelly, and honey.” “I’ll have cream cheese, please and thank you.” She giggles. “So when does Stacy come home?” “Tomorrow. She has to be back to work this weekend.” “How about the apartment? Heard anything?” “Yeah.” She sighs. “There was an e-mail this morning from the management company stating it will be at least another two weeks. There was some kind of issue with the contractor.” “You know you’re welcome here forever, right? Hell, you can move in if you want.” The words fly out of my mouth, but I mean every word. “Stacy said I could stay at her parents.’ I didn’t feel comfortable staying there without her, but since she’s coming home . . .” Her voice trails off. “Bring her here. You can both stay here. I’m sure staying with her parents is not high on her list of options,” I say. I finish spreading cream cheese on her bagel and set the plate in front of her on the island. I place my hand on the back of her head and lean forward. “Please don’t leave. I want you here.” I’m begging her, and I’m okay with that. If that’s what it takes to get her to understand that I need her, I’ll do it.
“Thank you. I would like to stay here.” I’m getting ready to respond when she says, “With you.” Best fucking day ever! Not able to control myself, I lean in and kiss her cheek. “You made my day, babe.” Today is turning out to be another great day with her. Last night things went a little south, but not because of her, just because my dumb ass doesn’t seem to want to function without her. I loved showing her the property yesterday and we talked, really talked. I understand where her fear is coming from, but it looks as though she’s slowly coming around.
This week flew by. Kacen took every opportunity for us to spend time together. We’re not officially together, but he’s wearing me down. Today we went to Children’s Hospital and visited with some of the older kids. All four of the guys were amazing. They were patient with the kids and didn’t treat them as if they were sick. They played board games with them, and the last hour or so, played for them. It was all a capella and the guys took requests. It was a sight to see my rockers singing Taylor Swift. It was even more shocking that they knew the words. On the drive home, they quickly reminded me that they love all genres of music. I think I hurt their feelings, though not intentionally. As we were packing up to leave, the fifteen-year-old boy who requested that Soul Serenade visit rolled over to Kacen and me in his wheelchair. He stuck his hand out for Kacen to shake and thanked him for an awesome day. I couldn’t prevent the tears that burned hot behind my eyes. Then the kid pointed at me and asked Kacen, “Is she your girlfriend?” I was embarrassed at first, mainly because I know he wants me to be. “She’s my girl,” he told him, and my heart swelled. It was in that moment that I knew I could no longer fight the inevitable. He makes me happy, and he’s proven time and time again that I’m who he wants. Life is full of risks, and I have to risk my heart in order to reap the reward. We’ve been home for about an hour and I’m pacing the foyer, waiting for Stacy. She got home two days ago, but had a mandatory meeting yesterday, so I haven’t been able to see her. I miss her. I want to hear all about her vacation, and then I have a ton to catch her up on. She’s missed a lot between Kacen and me. I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled to know I’m going to tell him tonight after she leaves that I’m in, and I want anything and everything he’s offering. I want to take the risk, especially if he is my reward. “Is she here yet?” Cole asks as he sits down on the bottom step. Ever since that night in the bar, he’s been bugging me about her. What’s she like? Is she seeing anyone? The list goes on and on. We can all see he’s interested, despite only having met her for a couple of hours. I can only assume that Tristan and Gavin are going to make it hard on him tonight, flirting with her every chance they get. I
need to make sure I warn her about those three. My phone beeps with a text:
Stacy: I’m here. Can you open the gate?
Me: On it.
I walk toward the panel on the wall that controls the gate, but Cole beats me to it. I’m going to enjoy watching him go head to head with my bestie. I dash out the front door and down the steps, waiting for her to make it up the driveway. As soon as the car stops, I’m rushing her door and pulling it open. We engulf each other in a tight hug. “I missed your ass,” she laughs. “I missed you, too. How was vacation?” “Good, Mom and Dad drove me crazy. ‘When are you going to settle down? I want grandkids . . . yadda, yadda, yadda.’ You know how they are.” “Yes, I do. You should stay here at least a night or two to give yourself a break,” I offer. “Listen to you being Ms. Hostess. Does that hottie rock star of yours know you’re passing along that invitation?” “I do, and she already knows that what she wants she gets,” Kacen says from the steps. “Log, aren’t you going to officially introduce us to your friend?” Cole yells. I can only assume he would be down here already if it weren’t for Kacen. He knows how much I missed my best friend, and he’s making sure I have time to say hello. He spoils me. “Come on, I want you to officially meet the guys.” I tug on her arm, leading her up the steps. As soon as I reach the top step, Kacen snakes his arm around my waist and places a kiss on my temple. He’s been touching me every chance he gets. I’m sure this is his way of showing Stacy where he stands. “Stacy, or should I call you Lynn?” Kacen smirks at her. Not missing a beat, she says, “Stacy will do. I only use Lynn when my best friend wants to pretend she’s someone she’s not to get enough courage to spend some time with a tall, tatted, and tempting man she meets at the beach.” I can feel my face turn crimson as Cole and Kacen throw their heads back with laughter. “I don’t care what I call her as long as she stays where she is,” he says, referring to me. “Glad to see you’ve staked your claim.” “Always, I’m a man who goes after what he wants.” “Uh . . . Ahem,” Cole clears his throat, trying to volley for attention. “Stacy, this is Cole. He’s the lead guitar player for Soul Serenade. Cole, this is my best friend, Stacy. He’s the one you were dancing with at the bar.” I remind her even though I know she knows. I can tell from the look in her eye. “Hey,” Cole says and my mouth drops open.
“He appears to be awestruck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen,” Kacen whispers in my ear. “Stacy, let’s go catch up. Kacen is going to throw some steaks on the grill, and I made potato salad, and the baked beans are in the crockpot.” She waves to the guys and we head into the house. “This place is gorgeous,” she compliments. “Yeah, it really is. The entire property is. Kacen and I had a picnic earlier this week out by the pond.” “Oh, really? Sounds like you and I have lots catching up to do.” She grins. “You have no idea.” We spend the next forty-five minutes sitting in the living room catching up. I hear the guys in the kitchen, but I know Kacen won’t let them bother us. “So, have you told him you love him?” she asks me. “Um, well, I haven’t even told you,” I reply. “Please,”—she waves her hand in the air—“I can see it written all over you. He makes you happy. From the way you talk about him, he treats you right, so what are you waiting for?” “Well, if you must know—” She cuts me off. “I must.” She laughs. “Well, as I was saying, I plan to tell him tonight that I want whatever he’s offering. I don’t think I’m quite ready to tell him I love him, but I want to be with him. I want to see where this takes us.” “So you’re willing to take the risk?” I know why she’s asking. She wants to make sure I’ve thought about this. She knows better though. “If Kacen is the reward, I’ll take it every day for as long as he will have me.” “Hell, yeah! I’m so freaking happy for you! If anyone deserves a guy like Kacen, it’s you.” “And what about you? Are you dating? I know it’s only been two weeks, but a lot can change in that time.” “Nope. No prospects on vacay either.” “You ladies ready to eat?” Kacen asks from the doorway. “I don’t think I can keep them at bay much longer.” He points over his shoulder, and I see the rest of the guys trying to get a glimpse of my girl. “Yes,” Stacy and I say in unison.
“She’s hot!” Cole says next to me. We just finished eating and we’re all hanging out by the pool. Logan and Stacy are sitting on the edge, in their own little world. I smile, thinking about her friend being here. I want Logan to be comfortable here. From the looks of it, she seems to be just that. “Dude, did you hear me?” Cole asks. “Yes, I heard you, and yes, she’s a beautiful woman,” I reply. “Are we talking about the same girl? She’s perfect.” “Unless you’re talking about Logan, in which case I will kick your ass, I have no opinion.” “Well, all right then. I just want to go on record as stating that they’re both hot as hell,” he adds. “I love you, bro. We’ve been friends for longer than I can even remember, but she’s here.” I place my hand over my chest. “Don’t fuck with what’s mine,” I warn him. “You know me better than that. I just like to get you wound up. You’ve tapped out with her, with Logan.” “Yep.” “No hesitation, no second thoughts?” “Nope.” He’s quiet, then says, “I’m happy for you, man. She’s a great girl.” “She’s my girl.” “What does she have to say about that?” Gavin asks as he and Tristan join us. They had clean-up duty. “She knows how I feel.” “So she knows that you’re in love with her?” This is from Tristan. “I have not said the words, but I alluded to it.” I have yet to take my eyes off her. So when her cell rings and she answers it, I can see something’s wrong. I’m on my feet, and in just a few long strides, I’m next to her. She stands on wobbly legs and bumps into me. I wrap my arms around her, not just to
steady her, but to comfort her. It’s bad. I can see it in her eyes. “Okay, I’ll be on the first flight home,” she says to whoever is on the other end of the phone. “No, I’m not alone. Stacy’s here and so are Kacen and . . .” her voice breaks on a sob. Gently, I pull the phone from her hands, keeping one arm around her. As she buries her face in my chest and cries, I lift the phone to my ear. “Hello, this is Kacen,” I say to the caller. “Kacen, hi, this is Jase. I’m Logan’s brother. Listen, I had to give Logan some bad news. Our grandfather just passed away.” I can hear his voice crack, but I can tell he’s trying to remain strong. “She’s going to need help getting to the airport. Can you . . . ?” “I’ve got her. Don’t worry. I’ll text you her flight information.” “Thank you,” he whispers. “Take care of her for me?” he asks. “Always, you don’t even have to ask. We’ll talk soon, and I’m sorry for your loss.” Ending the call, I slip her phone in my pocket, bend down and place my hands under her knees, and pick her up. “Her grandfather just passed. That was Jase. I’m taking her inside to lie down,” I tell Stacy. “What can I do?” she asks. “Just hang out for a while. She may not want me; she might need you.” It hurts that I might not be who she needs, but I’ll make damn sure she’s taken care of. I carry her from the pool up the back deck. Gavin is at the door waiting for me. He slides it open with a nod of his head. They either heard me talking to Stacy or just assume it’s bad from Logan’s reaction. I carry her to my room and lay her on the bed. She holds tighter around my neck when I try to pull away. “Don’t go.” Her voice is laced with sadness. “Never, I just want to shut the door to give us some privacy. I’ll be right back.” I kiss her forehead and she lets her arms fall from my neck. I rush to shut the door and have to swallow back the emotion that’s clogging my throat. I can’t stand to see her hurting. I slide into bed beside her, and she wraps herself around me. Her body shivers. I’m not sure if it’s the chill of the air conditioning or if she’s in shock from the news. Regardless, I reach for the blanket and pull it up over us. “He’s gone and I didn’t get to say goodbye. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen him.” She sobs against my bare chest. “I’m such a bad person. I should have gone home before now to see them.” I wrap my arms tighter around her and just hold her. I don’t try to tell her everything is going to be okay. She needs to grieve, needs to work through all the phases of emotions that come with losing someone you love. I hold her and she continues to cry. My chest is soaked and my arms are going numb from not moving them, but I hold strong. She needs me and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. “I’m sorry,” she says once she has better control of her emotions. “You don’t get to tell me you’re sorry. Do you think this is a hardship for me? I want to be this person for you, Logan. I’m sorry for your loss, baby, but I’m not sorry you’re leaning on me. I will never pass up the chance to hold you in my arms, hold you up when life beats you down.” I kiss the
top of her head. “You are the most important person in my world. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I need to know you understand that. You’ve just lost a loved one, and I need to know that if you need me, you’ll let me know. That you will let me hold you, let me take care of you.” “Can you help me book a flight to Cincinnati? I’ll also need a ride to the airport. I can ask Stacy . . .” “No, I want to take you.” I take a deep breath before asking her what my head is screaming for me to just do without her permission. “Do you want me to come with you?” She’s quiet for so long I think she might have fallen asleep, until she answers, “No, I can’t ask you to do that. I need to go say goodbye, and I’ll probably stay with Gran for a few days.” “I can stay in a hotel, just be close in case you need me.” “No, you guys have to write. I’ll be fine,” she says. I hate it. I hate that she’s going home alone to deal with this. I know her family will be there, but I want to be there. I want to be the one who loves her through this. The words are on the tip of my tongue. I want to tell her my heart is branded with her name, but now is not the time. She’s grieving the loss of her grandfather, and I won’t make it about me. “The offer stands. I will drop everything to go with you or to come to you. If you decide you need me there, you say the word and I will get there.” “Thank you, Kacen. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I hold her until she falls asleep. There is a light knock on the door, and I whisper for them to enter. Stacy sticks her head in. “How is she?” “Better, can you sit with her? I need to book her a flight.” “Yeah.” She steps quietly into my room and climbs on the opposite side of the bed. Very carefully, I slide out from under her and hold my breath as she relaxes into the soft mattress. Leaning down, I lightly lift the hair from her eyes and kiss the top of her head. “You’re in love with her,” Stacy’s whispered words meet my ears. “Completely.” “Have you told her?” “No, I was going to tonight. I’d made up my mind that she needed to hear the words, that if she knew how deep my feelings were for her, she might stop fighting and take a chance with me. But now’s not the right time.” “Give her time. He really did a number on her.” “She has all of me. She can take all the time she needs,” I say. I place one more soft kiss to the top of her head and leave to book her flight. I battle with myself to not book two seats, but she said she didn’t want me to go. If we were together, I wouldn’t take no for an answer, but maybe she doesn’t want me meeting her family. Hell, I don’t know. I do what she asks and only book one, trying to respect her wishes, even though everything inside me is screaming that I need to be with her. After I receive the confirmation, I pull her phone from my pocket and text her brother.
Logan: Hey, this is Kacen. I have her booked on a flight leaving tomorrow at noon. She refuses to let me
come with her. I’m going to text you from my phone later on so you’ll have my number. Please let me know if she needs me. I’m sorry for your loss.
Jase: Thank you.
I add his number into my contacts and send him a quick ‘this is my info’ text and slide both phones back in my pocket. It’s time to head back to my girl. I want to be there when she wakes up.
I wake up warm, and this time I know why. I’m lying across his chest and his arms are wrapped tightly around me. Lifting my head to get a glimpse of him sleeping, I’m surprised to see his eyes are open, watching me. “Hey,” he whispers. “Did you sleep at all?” “Not really. I dozed a little. I wanted to be awake if you decided you wanted to talk.” “I’m sorry, you should have taken me to my room.” “And pass up the chance to have you in my bed? No, thanks. You’re fine right where you are,” he says. “I got your flight booked. You leave today at noon.” “Thank you for taking care of that.” “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I can see if there is another seat, or change your flight, or catch the next one, or, hell, it’s only a five hour drive, I’ll meet you there,” he says, almost pleading. “I appreciate the offer, but you and the guys have work to do. I can’t take you away from that. I’ll be gone a few days. I want to spend some time with Gran.” He tightens his hold on me. “I don’t care how long you’re gone, baby. Just promise you’ll come back to me.” His voice cracks. I don’t promise him. Instead, I just remain quiet. I can’t help but think that if I would have tried harder to find a job in Cincinnati or the outlying area that I would have seen Grandpa more. I would not have let a year ’s time pass me by, and now it’s too late. I love Kacen. I know my heart will never belong to anyone else, but I should have been there. “Did Stacy leave?” “No, she stayed in your room last night. The guys entertained her. She was worried about you, too. They all were.”
Sitting up, I look over at him. “Thank you for taking care of the flight, and for taking care of me.” “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. “No, not much to say really. It’s been over a year since I’ve been home, and now I will never get the chance to say goodbye. That’s on me.” “Logan—” “I need to get ready,” I cut him off. I scoot to the edge of the bed and climb out. “I’m going to have Stacy drop me off at the airport.” “I can take you. Please let me.” “This way you guys can start working. I know I’ve been distracting you lately. This will be a chance for you to work without having to worry about me.” “Logan, just because you’re not here in my house, that doesn’t mean I stop thinking about you. You should know that by now.” “It’s fine, really. Stacy will take me. It’ll give us a chance to do some more catching up. Now I need to shower and get packed.” I smile softly, turn, and walk out of the room.
I decide to rush through a shower and be ready in case I can convince her to change her mind. I want to see her off, keep my eyes on her until the last possible second. I find the guys and Stacy sitting at the kitchen counter eating donuts. “I ran and picked up breakfast this morning; didn’t want her to have to worry about us. I know she does,” Tristan explains. “How is she?” Stacy inquires. I shake my head. “She’s upset, blaming herself because it’s been so long since she’s been home. Regretting that she didn’t get to say goodbye,” I list her concerns. “She was close to him,” Stacy says. “They’re all actually a really close family. I thought for sure she would move back to Cincinnati after graduation. Then she got this job offer, and she was really excited about it.” “Yeah, I remember her excitement in Hawaii about her new job.” “It was a chance for her to do something for her, you know? The last three years she spent working her life around Daniel and what he thought was best, what he thought she needed to do. He played with her head.” She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. I’ve seen the jackass first hand and how he tries to manipulate her. “What time are you leaving for the airport?” Gavin asks. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “I’m not. She doesn’t want me to go with her, and she’s refusing to let me take her to the airport,” I tell them. “Kacen, you have to be patient with her. He was never there for her. She’s used to doing things on her own. She’s scared to death that if she lets herself depend on you that you’ll disappear,” Stacy says. “I know that, but I can’t fucking stand the thought of her hurting and me not being there.” I rest my elbows on the counter and bury my face in my hands. “Give her time, man,” Gavin says. I don’t reply, instead block the four of them out of my mind. How do I reach her?
A moment later, I feel a hand on the back of my shoulder and I know it’s hers. “Stacy, do you think you could give me a ride to the airport?” she asks, her voice soft. “Yeah, sure. Kacen, you want to ride with us?” Stacy asks. I could hug her for asking. “Actually, the guys need to work today. I’ve distracted them enough,” she says with a humorless laugh. “It’s just you and me.” She plasters a fake smile on her face. “Okay, well, I’m ready when you are,” Stacy replies. Tristan stands and walks to Logan, bending down he gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’m here if you need anything,” he tells her. Next is Gavin. He places his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he says, kissing her on top of the head. Cole stands and wraps his arms around her. He whispers something in her ear that causes a sob to break from her chest. I watch as he kisses her forehead and releases her. If this were a normal day, I would have given them shit for touching her, kissing her, but not today. I know their hearts are in the right place. They care about her. They know what she means to me, and they just want to comfort her. “I’ll walk you out.” My voice is gruff with emotion. I feel like this is goodbye forever, like she’s not coming back. When I asked her to promise me that she was, she didn’t answer me. I know there’s a job offer out there. What if she takes it? What if she really doesn’t come back to me? Stacy grabs Logan’s suitcase. “I’m going to put this in the car,” she says, walking out of the kitchen. I stand and pull Logan into my arms. I bury my face in her neck and hold her as tight as I can. I can’t speak for the lump in my throat. She wraps her arms around my waist and holds me just as tight. Knowing she needs to go, needs to be with her family, I lift my head to look at her. Those big brown eyes are filled with pain and sadness, and it guts me. I cup her face in my hands. I need to make sure she’s looking at me when I say this. “I love you. I know you’re grieving and I’m a selfish prick for telling you at a time like this, but I have to. I need you to know before you walk out that door that when I told you that you own me, I meant it. I love you, Logan. I love you so much my heart literally aches for you. I love you and I’m scared as hell that when you walk out that door, you’re never coming back.” She doesn’t say anything as tears run unchecked down her cheeks. I pull her against my chest and stroke her hair from her face. I can feel her hot tears soaking my shirt. “I’m so sorry,” I choke out the words. Seeing her like this is tearing me up. “Let me come with you.” My voice is pleading. “I’ll be fine,” she mumbles over her tears. “I’m a phone call away, do you hear me? You text me, call me anytime, day or night. You need me and I’m there. I’ll always be there.” Pulling away, she reaches behind me on the counter and grabs a napkin. She uses it to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I need to go.” I nod, lace my fingers through hers, and lead her outside. The guys and Stacy are standing on the steps talking. The guys all give her another hug, all while I’m holding her hand. I’m not letting go until I have to. They wave goodbye to Stacy and head back into the house. Stacy climbs into the
driver ’s seat as I walk Logan to the passenger side. Opening the door for her, she climbs in. I kneel down so we are eye level. Looking over at Stacy, I say, “Take care of my girl. Make sure she gets off safely.” She nods her agreement. “And you,” I say, cupping her cheek, I lean in close, “I meant every word, Logan. Please let me know when you arrive safely.” I softly kiss her lips. Pulling away, I whisper the words, “I love you.” I hear a slight gasp from Stacy, telling me she heard me. I don’t care. I’ll tell the whole damn word. “Be safe, baby.” She nods. “Bye.” Her voice is soft. I force myself to stand and shut her door. I tap twice on the roof of the car and watch as they pull out of the drive. My heart is in that car. I tell myself I have to have faith that she’ll come back. I stand there staring after them long after they’re gone. Finally making my way into the house, the guys are scarce. I’m sure they saw me standing there like a lovesick fool, watching her drive away, and decided to give me some space. I retreat to my room and lie down on the bed. Her smell instantly surrounds me. I didn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t. I told her it was because I wanted to be awake if she needed me. That was part of it. The other part was this nagging fear that I’ve lost her. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I turn the vibration and the ringer as loud as it will go. I’m exhausted as I don’t want to miss her if she calls. Grasping it in my hands resting on my chest, I drift off to sleep. When I wake up, it’s dark outside. I reach for my phone and see she texted me four hours ago.
Logan: I made it.
That’s all is says. Fuck! I can’t believe I slept through it. I quickly type my reply.
Me: Good. I’m sorry. I fell asleep, just woke up. How are you holding up?
Logan: Sorry I kept you up. I’m doing okay.
Me: I wouldn’t have changed it. You belong in my arms.
I wait for a reply and get nothing. After twenty minutes, I send her another one.
Me: I’m going back to sleep, just wanted to say goodnight and I love you.
Ten minutes later, she replies.
Logan: Night
I try to remind myself that she’s hurting and confused. Instead, I let memories of the last two months run through my mind. She tore into my life like a tornado and I’m scared to death that my heart is about to be the wreckage. The next morning, I find the guys sitting in the living room eating breakfast. “Who cooked?” I ask. None of us are any good, unless it’s with a grill.
“Nancy. We told her about Logan, and she decided to fill in for her. She said it was her way of helping,” Gavin says, shoving half of a biscuit in his mouth. “How is she?” Tristan asks. I shrug. “Not sure. Her texts are short and evasive,” I confide. “Why are you here?” Cole blurts out. “I live here. Why the fuck are you here?” I fire back. He raises his hands in defeat. “I just meant why are you not in Ohio, with your girl?” he tries again. “I fucking tried. She shot me down,” I say, defeated. “I call bullshit,” Gavin says. “Me, too,” Tristan chimes in. “What the hell? Is this gang up on Kacen day? Look, I begged her to let me go with her. Fuck, she wouldn’t even let me take her to the airport.” I think back to yesterday in the kitchen when the guys were saying goodbye. Looking at Cole, I ask him, “What did you say to her yesterday? In the kitchen, you whispered something, what did you say?” He smirks. “I told her what you’re too chicken shit to. I told her you loved her and to let you be there for her.” Wow! Cole is usually our jokester, very rarely serious. “I told her. Right after that, I told her.” “Finally!” they all exclaim at once. “So, again I say, why are you not in Ohio?” Cole repeats his earlier question. “She said to stay here,” I remind him. “Okay, I get that,” Tristan says, “but why are you here? Since when do you let someone tell you what to do?” “Kace, man, she’s torn up. Her heart is broken, and she feels guilty,” Gavin says. “You heard what Stacy said. That fuckstick of an ex was never there for her. She’s never had someone other than family to rely on. She’s pushing you away. You need to let her know it’s not going to work.” Reaching for my phone, I send her a text.
Me: Morning, beautiful.
Logan: Morning.
Me: How are you?
Logan: Fine.
“Is that her?” Cole asks. “Yeah, I texted her good morning. She says she’s fine,” I grumble. “Done,” Tristan says with a smile as he sets his phone on the table.
“What’s done?” I ask him. “Five tickets to Cincinnati, our flight leaves at two.” He smirks. The tightness in my chest eases just a little knowing that I will be close if she needs me. It’s then I realize they’re right. I never should have taken no for an answer. I was so caught up in the thought of losing her that I didn’t fight for her. Well, that was a small lapse in judgment. Twenty-four hours of insanity. “Rooms are booked,” Cole chimes in. “Wait, five tickets?” Tristan grins. “We’re bringing your girl along.” “My girl?” he asks, confused. “Yeah, I texted Stacy and she’s in.” “You all need to get ready. We’re not missing that flight,” I say as I sprint off to my room to get packed.
We just finished making plans at the funeral home. It’s heartbreaking to plan a funeral. We tried hard to do things that represented who he was. From the flower arrangement to the insignia sewn into the casket. Gran is staying strong. Dad, on the other hand, not so much. I know it’s the chain of life. That someday I will lose my parents, but until that day comes, I don’t want to think about it. “Logan, would you mind driving Grandma back to her place?” Mom asks. I see her look over my shoulder at my father. He’s a wreck, as he should be. I nod, letting her know I’ve got Gran. Once the final paperwork is signed, we head out. I help Gran into my mom’s car while she, Dad, and Jase take Dad’s truck back to our house. “Talk to me, sweet girl,” Gran says once we are on the road. “Tell me about your new job.” I swallow the lump in my throat. I call them every week to check in, but that still doesn’t make up for not coming to visit more often. “I’m working as a personal assistant for a pretty famous rock band,” I tell her. “Yes, you thought you were working for the record label at first. I remember your gramps telling me that. He got a kick out of that story,” she says fondly. “Yeah, turns out the band’s agent hired me for them. It was a misunderstanding.” “How do you like it, dear?” “I love it, really. The guys are nice. I, um, actually already knew the lead singer, but I didn’t know him as part of the band, just knew him,” the words fly out of my mouth. “There’s a story there. Let’s hear it.” My family has always been close, but I have yet to tell any of them about Kacen and how we met before I started working for him. I decide my story might help occupy Gran’s mind for a while, and she’s wise beyond her years; she may have some sound advice to offer me. “Well, it all started in Hawaii,” I say as I begin to tell the story of Kacen Michael and Logan Paige. We arrive at her condo just as I finish telling her about our goodbye yesterday. I help her out of the car and inside. “Grab us a glass of sweet tea,” she says as she takes a seat in the recliner.
I do as I’m told and make us both a glass of sweet tea. I set hers on the table beside her chair and mine on the coffee table. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I check for missed calls or texts. There are none from Kacen. Two missed calls from Daniel. I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now. I grasp my phone in my hand, willing it to ring, or vibrate, or something. I don’t’ expect it to. I’ve been short with him, pushing him away. I miss him. “So let me get this straight,” Gran says. “He more or less begged you to let him come with you and told you he loved you, and you still turned him down? Why would you do that?” she asks, confused. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not used to it. Daniel and I had a different relationship. I was willing to overlook things because I was blinded by the idea of the fairy tale he promised.” I take a drink of my tea. “Kacen is so different. He’s attentive and kind. He’s beyond emphatic about the way he feels about me. I was feeling guilty that it’s been over a year since I’ve been home,” I confess. “I was grieving and blaming myself for not being here.” “You pushed him away. Sounds like you need to do less pushing and more pulling. I’ve not met the man, but I can tell by the way you talk about him and the way your eyes light up that he’s worthy of your love. I never saw you look that way when you talked about what’s his face.” “Gran!” I mock scold her. “What? I’m too old to hold back, my dear. I loved your grandfather for sixty years. That man was my world. Your Kacen reminds me a lot of him. He pursued me for weeks before I finally agreed to a date, and once I did, I never looked back.” “I miss him, and I feel so guilty for not coming home more.” “Logan, we love you. We are both so proud of you. He told all our friends how his granddaughter was working for a famous rock band. He would be beside himself knowing that you’re being so hard on yourself. Life is short. You have to live each day as if it could be your last. Just because you’re happy in Tennessee does not mean you didn’t love us. We can’t see those we love every day; it’s a part of life. What you can do is choose who you spend every day with. Choose a man who is worthy of that time that takes you away from us.” “He is,” I choke out the words, fighting back tears. “Then pull, Logan. Pull him close and hold on for dear life. It’s rare to find that, some never do. Forget past hurts and focus on the happiness of your future.” I let her words sink in, and I know she’s right. I don’t want to live my life with regrets or in fear of getting my heart broken. I need to pull just like she said. Swiping my finger across the screen of my phone, I pull up our last text message and type a reply.
Me: I miss you
I hit send before I can change my mind. This is me starting to pull. I love him, and before I got Jase’s call yesterday, I was ready to take a chance. I’m still ready now, even more so. My phone rings, causing me to jump. Kacen’s handsome face fills my screen. “Hello?” I answer cautiously. “It’s good to hear your voice. I miss you, too,” he says softly.
The background is noisy, which is unusual. He and the guys try to avoid crowds whenever possible during their downtime. “Where are you?” “Don’t be mad, but I’m at the airport,” he says cautiously. “Okay? Why would I be mad?” I ask, confused. “Logan, baby, I’m coming to you. I can’t stand the thought of you going through this alone. Our flight leaves at two.” “You said ‘our,’ who’s coming with you?” “Stacy and the guys. Don’t worry, we have rooms, so we won’t intrude on your family. You don’t even have to tell them who we are. Just know that I’m here. We all are, if you need us.” “What flight?” I ask. My heart is racing. He’s coming here for me. They’re all coming here for me. “Text me the flight info and I’ll pick you up from the airport.” “There’s five of us,” he reminds me. “Dad has a Tahoe. Text me the flight info and I’ll be there.” “Okay, I’ll do that as soon as we hang up.” He pauses. “You’re not angry with me?” “No,” I breathe. “I’m not angry. I miss you,” I say the words out loud, giving another pull. “That makes me a happy man. I’ll see you soon.” “Yeah, see you soon,” I tell him back before hanging up. “Was that him? Is he coming here? Tell me everything.” Gran rubs her hands together. I laugh at her. “Yes, that was him. He’s at the airport on his way here. They all are. The entire band and they’re bringing Stacy. I’m sorry to leave you, but I need to go home and get Dad’s Tahoe so I can pick them up from the airport.” “You bring that boy here. I want to meet him.” Gran grins. “I will, thank you. I love you, and I’m so sorry for your loss.” It sounds so formal, but true. She lost the love of her life. I think about Kacen and what life might be like without him. The thought alone fuels me to get to him. To apologize and tell him how I feel. “Oh, Logan. I will miss him. He’s my heart and soul. I love you, too, sweet girl.” I call Mom on the way to their house and ask if I can borrow the Tahoe. Of course she wants to know why, and I have to explain that four extremely famous, tattooed rock stars, along with Stacy, will be attending Gramps’ funeral. “Of course you can,” she says. “I can’t wait to meet these guys. Stacy’s with them too?” “Yes, Kacen just called and said they were at the airport. I told them I would pick them up.” I try to hide the excitement in my voice. I park Mom’s car and run into the house. “Hey, where’s the fire?” Jase asks. “I have to get to the airport. Stacy and the guys are flying in.” “By the guys, you mean Soul Serenade?” he asks. “Yes, they’re flying in, and I told them I would pick them up. I have to go.” “Wait, do I get to meet them? I’m a huge fan,” he says hopefully. “Yes, you will get to meet them. Now tell Dad I said thanks. I have to go.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” he calls after me. Thankfully, the drive to the airport is not crazy. I was afraid I would hit traffic. The flight is only an hour, so I take the first parking spot I can find and rush inside. My heart is racing. I’m excited to see him. All of them, but Kacen mostly. I’ve missed him. I wasn’t exactly in the best place when I left yesterday. He poured his heart out to me. He told me he loved me, and I just stood there. I’ve got some apologizing to do. I’m pacing when I hear his voice yell my name. Snapping my head up, I see him, and I can’t stop the grin that turns up my lips. That must be all the encouragement he needs because he takes off running and doesn’t stop until he’s in front of me. He doesn’t even take the time to say hello. He just grabs my face with his hands and forges his mouth to mine. He groans as I pull away. “I’m sorry.” “Sorry for what?” he asks. “For how I acted yesterday, for pushing you away. There is so much I want to say.” “Okay, whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I’m just glad you’re not pissed that we came. I fucking missed you so damn much,” he says, pulling me against his chest. “There’s our girl,” Gavin calls out. I step away from Kacen, again causing him to groan, and give the guys and Stacy a hug. I fight hard against the tears, but when I get to my best friend, I can no longer keep them from falling. “Uh, ladies, I hate to interrupt, but we’re starting to draw a crowd.” Tristan motions his head to the side where two teenage girls are snapping pictures with their cell phones. “I guess you have fans in Ohio. Apparently, my little brother is one of them. He made me promise he could meet all of you,” I confess. “Happy to, but let’s get out of here before the mob hits.” They each put their sunglasses back on and pull their baseball caps down low. Not that it’s going to help. Those girls are sure to have the pictures loaded before we’re even out of the parking lot.
That vise that was gripping my chest, it disappeared the minute I pulled her to me at the airport. I still hurt for her and the loss she’s dealing with for her grandfather, but the pain in my chest has gone. I offer to drive from the airport, but she declines, so I take shotgun. Stacy volunteers to sit in the third row because she shorter and Cole joins her. He acts like he’s taking one for the team, for the greater good and all that, but I see the way her looks at her. Tristan and Gavin load up in the backseat and we’re on the road. Reaching over, I rest my hand on her thigh. I have to. It’s not something I can control. Logan quickly glances over and gives me a bright smile as she laces her fingers through mine. “So where are we headed first, Log?” Stacy yells up to her. “You taking me to see my future husband?” she jokes. “Future husband?” Cole repeats. “Yeah, Jase, Logan’s little bother, although there’s not really anything little about him,” Stacy explains. “She loves to mess with Jase. I think she sort of scares him,” Logan says. “I thought I would take you all to your hotel first and let you get settled. I promised Jase I would bring everyone by to meet him. I figured better today than tomorrow night at the visitation.” She glances over at me. “Where are you all staying?” “Ask Tristan, he booked the rooms,” I tell her. I can see the confusion cross her face. “It’s the Holiday Inn that’s beside the funeral home. I thought that would be the easiest,” Stacy says. “Yeah, I kind of consulted Stacy for where to stay. I wasn’t sure exactly where in Cincinnati we were going,” Tristan admits. “You all have no idea what it means to me to have you here. Thank you so much.” She takes a big breath, trying to get her emotions under control.
I give her hand a gentle squeeze as Tristan leans forward and places his hand on her shoulder. “You’re family, Logan. We take care of our family.” He says it with so much conviction that you know he feels it. Calm settles over me. These guys are my family, and they’ve accepted her as a part of my life, as a part of us. When we reach the hotel, everyone piles out of the Tahoe. “Get settled and we can head to my parents’ place in an hour or so. We have a ton of food that Mom will be thrilled y’all are going to help eat,” Logan tells us. “Tristan pre-paid for the rooms and registered them under my name. I’ll go get us all checked in and we can head straight up to the rooms,” Stacy explains. Not able to stay away from her, I step up behind Logan. I don’t touch her. I’m not sure if she wants me to. I don’t want to push her or pressure her. She’s going through a lot, but I just need to be as close to her as possible. Leaning over her shoulder, I place my lips next to her ear and whisper, “I missed you, Logan.” Looking over her shoulder at me, her eyes sparkle when she says, “I missed you too.” Surprising me, she reaches back and laces her fingers through mine. That helps trample some of the anxiety I’m feeling. She said she has a lot to say, and I’m man enough to admit I’m scared as hell she’s going to quit and tell me to stay the hell away from her. She misses me, but she also misses her family. “Stacy just sent a text. She’s at the side entrance waiting for us,” Tristan says. “Why is she texting you?” I hear Cole grumble. He’s more interested than what he’s telling us. I look forward to seeing how this plays out. Logan pulls me toward the side of the building and I let her. I would follow her anywhere. I just need to know what I need to do to get her to understand that. Stacy holds the door for each of us and passes out room keys. I hear Cole smart off about how Gavin’s room is closer to her as he stalks off down the hall. The rest of them follow, which leaves Logan and me alone. “I’d like to come up and talk to you, if that’s okay? I know you just got in and—” I place my finger over her lips, cutting her off. “I’m never going to pass up the chance to spend time with you,” I tell her. Those chocolate eyes light up at my admission, but I can see she’s worried. I take the lead, guiding us to my room so we can talk. Sliding the card in the door, I step back and motion for Logan to go in ahead of me. She walks straight to the bed and sits down. I drop my bag on the floor beside the dresser and take a seat beside her. Reaching over, she grabs my hand and laces it with hers, resting them on her lap. “Kacen, I’m so sorry for how I acted yesterday,” she starts. I stay quiet, letting her work through whatever it is she has to say. I can only hope that when she’s done, I’ll still be a part of her life. “I was upset and my heart was aching. I still feel the guilt of not being here sooner, that I didn’t get to see him before he died. Gran assured me that he loved me and could not have been happier for me and the life I’m living in Nashville. She said that just because you don’t live close to your family doesn’t mean they don’t know you love them.” She pauses to look at me with tears in her eyes. “She
enlightened me a little on my way of thinking.” A lone tear slides down her cheek, so I trace it away with my thumb. “I was fighting with myself about loving my new life and feeling guilty for not being involved in my old one. Gran easily pointed out that it’s all the same. That you have to do what makes your heart happy and make sure that those you love, near or far, know how you feel. Just live each day as if it could be your last.” “Logan—” “Please,” she cuts me off, “let me get this out.” She stands from the bed and turns to step in between my legs. Her small hands cradle my face. Instinctively, I place my hands on her waist and pull her as close as I can get her. “I love you, Kacen. I’ve fought this battle inside myself between how I thought I was going to live my life going forward and my heart, which wanted you the minute I laid eyes on you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you yesterday. I wanted to, and as soon as I pulled out of the drive, I was filled with regret, afraid I had lost you, but too jumbled with emotions to be able to sort through it all. Spending time with Gran today helped.” I don’t give her time to say anything else. I pull her lips to mine. She moans in the back of her throat as I slip my tongue past her lips. She loves me. I don’t want to stop kissing her, but fuck do I need her to say it again. Reluctantly, I pull my lips from hers and pull her into my lap. I nuzzle my face into her neck and breathe her in. Just as I’m about to ask her to say it again, she does. “I love you, Kacen. I want this, whatever this is between us. I want to see where it leads us. I don’t want to fight my heart anymore.” Her voice trails off. She fucking loves me! “This,” I say, my lips next to her ear, “is forever.” I trail kisses down her neck just as a knock sounds at the door. “Go away,” I grumble. This causes Logan to giggle. “Kacen, we’re going to my parents,’ remember?” she asks. Her face goes serious. “Wait, you’re meeting my family. If you’re not ready for that, if we’re not there yet, I get it. We can pretend—” I place my hand over her mouth. “There will be no pretending. You’re mine. You own me, Logan. I want to meet your family. Meet the people who are important to you. I’m in this, babe. You and me,” I tell her. Another loud knock, this time with Stacy yelling, “Let’s get this show on the road. My future hubby awaits.” “Let’s do this,” I say, lifting her from my lap. I kiss her deeply before placing her feet back on the floor. I place my arm around her waist, grab my room key, and off we go to meet the parents.
As soon as we pull into the driveway, Jase is out the front door. He has enough restraint to wait on the front porch while we all pile out of Dad’s Tahoe. Stacy sprints up the steps and wraps him in a hug, which he is all too eager to participate in. Kacen takes hold of my hand and we head toward the house, the guys following along behind us. Jase lets go of Stacy and focuses his attention on me. “Come here, you.” I haven’t been able to spend any time with him since I got home. I walk into his embrace, still holding Kacen’s hand. He tries to let go, but I hold tight. Jase notices as his gaze locks on our linked hands. “Sis?” he says in question. That alone makes me feel like dirt. I’ve kept my feelings for Kacen from my family. Almost as if I didn’t admit them, they would go away. Not to mention, I have no idea how I’m supposed to introduce him to my family. Do I introduce him as my boss, my lover, my boyfriend? We’ve only slept together one time, months ago, and boyfriend doesn’t seem like a strong enough of a word for what I feel for him. Kacen reaches his hand out to Jase. “Kacen. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he tells my brother. “Love your work,” Jase replies. He motions his head toward our combined hands. “What’s up with that?” he asks. I open my mouth to speak, but Kacen catches me off guard when he brings our joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of mine. I have to swallow the emotion the clogs my throat. He’s one delicious package. He has a body made for sin, his voice blows me away, and he’s a complete contradiction of the stereotype he’s thrown into because of his ink and his profession. Our eyes meet and he winks at me. He’s telling me he’s letting me take the reins on this one. I can tell them as much or as little as I want. “Jase, Kacen and I are together.” I try for simple. “Together? As in it’s all fun and games or—” Kacen cuts him off. “As in, I’m in love with her.” He smirks at Jase’s reaction to his words. “What about you?” Jase asks me once he recovers.
“Head over heels,” I say, my eyes never leaving Kacen’s. He leans in and kisses my temple. I love when he does that. A simple gesture to show me, and anyone who happens to be watching, that he cares about me. That he wants us. It’s a feeling that only he has ever elicited within me, and I don’t think I will ever get enough. Jase accepts my heartfelt declaration with ease. “Mom and Dad are in the house. They’re setting the food out. I hope you’re all are hungry,” he addresses the group. I motion for everyone to follow me and go in search of my parents. Once we are all in the kitchen, I take the time to make proper introductions to everyone. I leave Kacen for last, and as I introduce him, Jase pipes up. “They’re together.” He motions between me and Kacen. “He says he loves her,” he announces with a grin. I love my little brother, but I’m going to kill him. “She’s easy to love,” my dad says. He reaches out to shake Kacen’s hand. “Take care of her. I worry about her living so far away,” he tells Kacen. “Always.” His voice rings true with conviction. Dad must hear it too. He nods and then starts talking to the guys about touring, the new album, and even my role in their lives. They’re all protective of me and make sure Dad knows I’m being looked after. Not that I need it. I’m a grown woman, for goodness’ sake. It’s a male thing. I don’t protest. I just let them have their say and enjoy the fact that my future is colliding with my past. This is my present, and I want to live each day as such. After introductions, time flies by. The guys are chatting it up with Dad and Jase while Mom, Stacy, and I sit out on the back deck. “He seems great. They all do,” Mom says. “Pshh, that boy thinks our girl here walks on water,” Stacy quips. “He does seem quite taken with you, and you him.” Mom grins. “Yeah,” I agree with them. What else can I say? It’s true. Loud rounds of laughter reach us outside and curiosity gets the best of us, so we head in to see what the deal is. We find them in the living room, all of them wearing huge grins. “What did we miss?” Stacy asks. She sits on the arm of the couch closest to Cole. I watch as he snakes his arm around her. “Just telling stories of when we were on tour,” Tristan says. “You would not believe the shit people do,” Gavin adds. “I can only imagine,” I say. I’ve seen the fan mail and have been out in public with all of them at one point or another over the past few months. Bitches be cray-cray. Kacen stands and walks to me. Bending down, he whispers, “I love you.” My heart melts at his words. He stands beside me, his arm over my shoulders as if he didn’t just light my world on fire with three little words. I will never be tired of hearing him confess his love. Stacy covers her mouth as she yawns. “Sorry,” she apologizes. “Don’t be sorry. It’s getting late. I should get you all back to your hotel.” “I hate that you got rooms. You all could have stayed here. We have the space,” Mom says. “We didn’t want to impose. We know you have a lot going on right now,” Stacy tells her. “Never an imposition. You’re all are taking care of our little girl,” Dad says to the guys. Not that he doesn’t include Stacy, but again it’s a male thing.
“Dad, I’m going to run them home in the Tahoe,” I say. “I hate you driving back late by yourself. Can you stay with Stacy?” he asks. Ummm, yes, but I won’t. I hope to be wrapped up in Kacen, preferably all night long. “Absolutely,” Stacy chimes in, saving my ass. “Good. We’ll see you all tomorrow. Thank you for coming to support Logan and pay your respects. It means a lot to know she’s surrounded by good people,” Dad says. After another round of goodbyes, we’re out the door. Kacen walks me to the passenger side and opens the door. “I’ll drive. You’ve had a long day.” He waits for me to climb in, then leans in and kisses me softly before shutting the door. As soon as we are on the road, he reaches over and rests his hand on my leg. I run my fingers up his arm; his corded muscles twitch under my touch. Excitement bubbles inside as I realize that I finally, after all these months, get to sleep in his arms. Not because he’s consoling me as my tears wet his shirt, not because we fell asleep watching TV, but because he loves me. Living life to its fullest.
As much as I want to sink inside of her, feel her from the inside again, I won’t. She’s had a rough couple of days and my need to take care of her outweighs the desire to ravish her. As we enter the hotel room, I drop the keys on the dresser and head straight for the bathroom. Stacy reserved us luxury suites. I make a mental note to thank her. Turning on the hot water, I start running a bath for Logan. She can soak for a little while and relax. I’ll then spend the night with her in my arms. Shit! I know I sound like a whipped fuck, but, honestly, I have no control over it when it comes to her. She’s number one, and being near her is essential to me. After I get the water temperature just right, I call out for her. She appears at the bathroom door with a puzzled expression on her face. I pull her into my arms. “Let me take care of you.” Stepping back, I slowly lift her arms over her head. Gripping the bottom of her shirt, I lift it up and over her head, tossing it on the floor. She’s gorgeous and I should have left her alone to get undressed. I’m torturing myself, but it’s a sweet torture, one that I will gladly accept. She licks her lips and I run my thumb across them. I slowly trace her cheek, allowing my index finger to trail down her neck. I continue over the swell of her breasts and across her tight, toned stomach. I don’t want to rush this, undressing her. I want to catalogue every second for a later time. I’ve dreamed of the time that I would get to see her again like this, to touch her soft skin. Focus, Kacen! My hands reach the waistband of her blue jean shorts and I make quick work of the button. I pull her into a kiss as I slide the zipper down and guide her shorts over her hips, letting them fall to the floor. I continue to slowly tangle my tongue with hers, savoring her. Without breaking the kiss, my hands travel to her back and unsnap her bra. I leisurely pull it from her shoulders and toss it over my shoulder. I guide my hands down her sides, stopping to run the pad of my thumbs over her now hard nipples. She moans deep in her throat. I keep going. Eventually, my hands arrive on her hips, and I have to break our kiss. I kneel before her and slide her barely-there panties down her legs. Not able to resist, I place a wet kiss just
below her belly button. Her hands fly to my hair and she tugs me to her. I let her pull me close, but I don’t make another move. I need to stop now, or else my idea of taking care of her tonight, emotionally, will be out the fucking window. She’s so responsive and I’ve longed for her every day for months. I have to use every bit of willpower I have to stop from devouring her. Instead, I look up at her. “Time for a bath.” I motion my head toward the tub. “You ran me a bath?” There is awe in her voice, like she’s surprised I would do that for her. That ex of hers couldn’t have shown her an ounce of care or love. Never again will she ever feel like she’s nothing but the most important person in my world. “Yes, a bath. It’s been a rough couple of days and you deserve to relax.” She chews on her bottom lip as her gaze stays locked on the tub. I place my index finger under her chin and guide her to look at me. “What’s wrong?” She shakes her head. “Nothing, I just . . . will you get in with me?” she asks. Her voice is soft and hesitant. “Anything you want, baby.” I quickly strip out of my clothes and turn the overhead light off in the bathroom. This leaves just a small nightlight over the sink giving off a soft glow. Reaching over, I turn off the water and guide myself into its warmth. Taking her hand, I hold tight as she steps in one foot at a time. Slowly, she sits down in front of me, and I waste no time grabbing her hips and pulling her close, aligning her wet, slick body with mine. Heaven. “This is nice,” she says. “Hmmm,” I agree. Nice isn’t really strong enough to explain how this feels, having her this close to me again with nothing between us. This time, she’s mine, and we both know it. “Say something,” she tells me. I kiss her temple. “What do you want me to say?” “Anything, I just like hearing your voice.” She fucking owns me. It’s just me and my girl. No one is here to witness me serving my balls to her on a silver platter, not that I would care. I will never hesitate to let anyone and everyone know who she is and how important she is to me. Man card be damned. “I was angry the morning after in Hawaii. I woke up reaching for you, and I was angry that you were gone.” I’ve never talked to her about this, not really. “I went for a walk on the beach and ended up peering through the window of your rental. I was desperate to see you again.” I cup water in my hands and cover her breasts. “Even then, I knew there was something different between us, a connection I’d never felt. I tried telling myself it was just because I wanted you again, wanted more of you but it was more than that.” “I was scared,” she admits. “I thought I was going crazy thinking there was that strong of a connection with a guy I’d known a week. It was a first for me, and my emotions were all over the place.” “I left early. I called Cassidy and had her take care of it. I couldn’t be there without you. The
memory of our night haunted me. I needed to come home.” I wrap my arms around her waist. “Then, when I walk through the door, I’m told that my new assistant, who was supposed to be male, is actually female. I was pissed until I walked into that room and laid eyes on you.” “I was already scared you were going to fire me, and then when I saw you, I was sure I was losing my job.” “I had to keep myself from rushing you, throwing you over my shoulder, and carrying you off to my room. No way was I letting you go. I had to play the game. I couldn’t let you see how you affected me. Not after you left in the middle of the night.” “I wanted to stay,” she says softy as she stands. My eyes are glued to her gorgeous wet body as she slowly settles into my lap. I scoot forward, allowing her room to wrap her legs around me. “I need to see you for this part,” she whispers. Her hands roam over my chest. She leans down and kisses my neck. I grip her hips and fight like hell to not slip inside of her. I’m not covered, and I have no idea how she feels about going bare. I couldn’t give a fuck less about the risks of pregnancy, but again, I have no idea how she feels. My fucking heart skips a beat at the thought of part of me growing inside of her. Her chocolate eyes sparkle in the dim light as they lock on mine. “You’ve shown me what it feels like to be the center of your world. You’ve shown me what it feels like to feel safe and confident in a relationship. I know we’ve not really been official, but you never wavered on how you treated me or how you felt about me. When you said I love you yesterday, I wanted to tell you then. I’m not sorry though. I’m glad it worked out the way that it did. I needed to come to terms with things on my own, and now you’re here.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “I will never forget today. You meeting my family, and this right here, spending time with you.” She wiggles her hips and I groan as my cock rubs against her, begging to be inside of her. “We’re making memories,” she says softly. “Every day,” I promise her. “Thank you.” She places a chaste kiss to my lips. “For what?” I ask, confused. “For being you, for never giving up, for loving me.” “Don’t!” I say, my voice stern. “Never thank me for loving you. You’re here.” I point to my chest. “My life is no longer my own. It’s ours. It’s our present and our future. I want every damn day with you. I want it all, Logan. I want you to take my last name, to call you my wife. I want to make babies with you, raise our family together. I want every breath you take to be circulated with mine. I want your forever to be a part of mine. I love you, Logan.” “I love you, too,” she says as her eyes well up with tears. “Let’s get you out and dried off, the water ’s getting cold.” We do just that. I make sure every inch of her is dry before guiding her to the bed. I pull back the covers and motion for her to climb in. I climb in right behind her and pull the covers up over us. She snuggles her naked body closer to mine. “Just like this,” I whisper into the darkness. “Just like what?” she asks. “Every night, I want to fall asleep just like this. Nothing between us, skin to skin.” “Deal,” she says as we drift off to sleep.
I wake fully rested and warm, very warm. Kacen is still wrapped around me from the night before. My lips curve into a smile. We’re together. Although I’m more than comfortable in his arms, nature is calling. I try to go into stealth mode and slowly lift his arm. “Stop,” he grumbles, burying his face into my neck. “You’re not getting away this time.” I can’t help it, I laugh, which brings my need to relieve my bladder front and center. “Kacen, I have to use the restroom,” I sputter. “Fine.” Still holding me tightly in his arms, he rolls over and climbs out of bed, carrying me to the bathroom. “What are you doing?” “Keeping my eye on you. I’m not letting you off the hook this time. We promised last night,” he explains. This man. “I have to pee,” I say, exasperated. He sets me on my feet once we’re in the bathroom, leans in, kisses my cheek, and walks out. I do my business and wash my hands. As soon as I open the door, I shriek when Kacen’s arms wrap around me and he picks me up and carries me back to bed. I start to complain, and then I realize I have this sexy-as-hell man who wants to be with me, spend time with me. Who in their right mind would complain about that? “I’m not done holding you.” He climbs into bed with me, pulls the covers over us, and pulls me close to him. Skin to skin. I’m not sleepy, so I roll over in his arms so that we are face to face. I take in his chiseled jaw and the five o’clock shadow across his cheeks. I could look at him all day. “I can feel you watching me,” he says, his eyes still closed.
“I’m not sleepy.” Those baby blues pop open and he grins. “I’m not either, but I’m not ready to let you go just yet,” he confesses. I lift my hand and run my fingers through his hair. “I like you like this.” “Like what?” “Like this, here in bed with me. I like that I don’t have to wonder what it would feel like to be here again, in your arms.” “I like me like this too.” He smirks. “I really like me like this,” he says as his lips find my neck. I tilt my head to give him better access. “Kacen,” I breathe. His hands are everywhere as they roam my bare skin under the blanket. One traces my hip and thigh while the other palms my left breast. Definitely like him like this. His hand travels to my center and he groans deep in the back of his throat when he finds me wet for him. “You’re ready for me,” he says reverently. “Always,” I reply, because I’ve been walking around like this for months. No one has ever affected me like he does. This is all for him. “Hmmm,” he says against my neck and the vibration causes goose bumps to break out across my skin. His lips travel to mine and he kisses me too soft, too slow. I want him. I feel like I’m ready to combust with how bad I need him inside of me. “Please,” I beg. My body knows what it wants, remembers how it felt to be one with him. “Shh, I can’t be fast, not this time. I want to . . .” He kisses my ear. “I want to slam inside and never leave, but I can’t. My need to make love to you is far greater.” “We can go slowly next time. I need you,” I plead. “My one regret from the night we spent together is that I didn’t take my time. I rushed. I didn’t take the time to savor the taste of you on my tongue, to fuse my lips with yours for hours, just kissing you. I chased our release. I should have cherished every stroke,” he says as his fingers slide through my folds. “I should have memorized every fucking sensation with you. This time, I am. I’m going to take my time to appreciate what you’ve given me.” I open my mouth to try to change his mind as he buries his face between my legs. Suddenly, speaking is not something I’m capable of. I grab onto his hair and hold him there. Kacen was my first. My other lovers, all two of them, didn’t care for the act, so I’m going to follow his lead and appreciate him. Just a few quick strokes of his tongue and I’m crying out with my release. I’m too sated to care that it happened so fast. It doesn’t seem like he cares as his lips kiss their way up my belly. He stops at my breasts, nipping and sucking on each one, slowly running his wet tongue across each nipple. He’s taking his time. I’m greedy and I want more of him. This time, instead of pleading, I reach down and palm his erection in my hand. I start each stroke long and slow. I want to drive him wild, and if that gets him inside me sooner, that’s just an added bonus. Kacen reaches down and places his hand over mine. “You’re gonna have to stop that, babe,” he
grits out. “But I want to touch you,” I say, adding innocence to my voice. “Logan,” he breathes my name as his lips crash with mine. I don’t stop like he asked. Instead, I increase my speed and, apparently, that does it. He tears his lips from mine and reaches over to the nightstand. Grabbing his wallet, he pulls out a condom. “I’m on the pill,” I blurt out. My words cause him to freeze. “What are you saying, baby?” he asks. I can feel heat flush my cheeks. “Well, just that you know we’re safe if you didn’t want to use that.” I motion my head toward his hand where he holds the opened condom wrapper. “I’ve never,” he says, his voice gruff. “Me neither, but I want to with you. If you want, no pressure. I just . . .” “I want,” he says confidently. He watches me, those blue eyes burning flames. I nod my head, letting him know this is what I want too. He tosses the condom over his shoulder and rests his weight on his elbows on either side of my head. His hands brush the hair from my forehead. “I want this, but I need for you to be sure. I need to know you understand that once I’m in you bare, you’re mine. I’ve never done this, and I’m excited as hell that you trust me, but this is it for both of us. Are you ready for that?” he says emphatically. “I love you,” I say, lifting my hips. He nods, letting me know he understands. He has my vow that this is it for both of us. We’re it. We’re us. I watch his face as he slowly pushes inside, not stopping until he’s fully sheathed. He rests his forehead against mine and breathes the words, “I love you, too, baby.” I tilt my hips again, needing him to move. “Logan.” He growls. “Sweetheart, you can’t keep doing that.” “What? This?” I ask innocently as I lift my hips again. “Yes, that,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m sure there is a rule about confessing this while deep inside your girl, but, baby, I’m not going to last. I promised slow, but as soon as I start to move, it’s going to be all over. I need to get you there,” he confesses. Placing all of his weight on one arm, the other slides down my belly until he reaches my core. He begins an onslaught of pleasure with his fingers, and all too soon, I feel my release building. Kacen must feel it because it’s at the exact moment that he starts to rock in and out, setting the pace that I was begging for earlier. “Yes,” I moan. “Now, Logan. Come for me,” he says as he throws his head back in ecstasy. I follow him over the edge. He rolls to the side and gathers me in his arms. My back is pressed firmly to his front and he buries his face in my neck. “Good morning,” he finally says. His voice is husky with desire. A giggle escapes my lips. Never have I felt this connected to someone and felt as though I could be me and laugh after making love. “Good morning,” I reply.
What I wouldn’t give to wake up like this every day.
Yesterday was bittersweet. Sweet was waking up with Logan’s naked body nestled against mine. Making love to her with nothing between us. I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t give a fuck less if she was on birth control, but decided I would save that little tidbit of knowledge for another day. Bitter was her grandfather ’s visitation. Standing in the background, watching as my girl and her family mourned the loss of their loved one. To make matters worse, several in attendance recognized us. I tried to tell Logan we would wait for her in the back room, but she clung to me and said she needed me. No way could I leave her. Luckily, no one was tacky enough to ask for an autograph. Today is going to be hard. Today is the funeral, and it sucks ass. There is just no other way to describe losing someone you love. Logan’s gran pulled me to the side. “No matter what you do, young man, just love her through it.” I plan to do just that. I will be by her side every step of the way. Stacy has been an angel. She spoke to the hotel management and arranged for us to park behind the building and got approval for us to enter the building this way. We just want to make sure we do not draw any attention to Logan and her family, at least not until after today. Once word gets out that she’s my girl, the paparazzi will hound them for a few days. Once they realize Logan is in Tennessee with me, they should leave them alone. At least, I hope that’s what happens. I’ve just finished fastening my tie when Logan opens the bathroom door. I open my arms and she walks right into them. Right where she belongs. “We need to be going soon,” I say as I rest my chin on top of her head. “Yeah,” she agrees. “The guys and Stacy are down there.” Taking a deep breath, she steps back. “I’m ready,” she says. I double-check that I have the room key as well as the Tahoe keys, and we head out. The drive to the funeral home is quiet. The guys make a few crazy jokes, making her laugh, and I make a mental note to thank them. As soon as I pull into the lot, I see a guy with a camera standing by the entrance. I don’t think too much about it. He’s one man, and often times, for those who are big in the community like her grandfather, the press will cover the funeral. Hell, the press covers everything these days.
As soon as we make it to the front entrance, I realize I should have been more concerned about the man with the camera. He starts snapping pictures as three of his buddies come racing toward us doing the same. Anger courses through me. This is a fucking funeral, and they don’t have the decency to give us some privacy. I pull Logan tight against me and stop. I look back and see Cole has done with same with Stacy while Gavin and Tristan stand with their arms crossed. They start firing off questions. “Were you related to the deceased? Who are the girls? Is it serious?” One after another, the questions come our way. I hold up my hands and they stop with the questions, but keep snapping pictures. “We ask that you please allow us our privacy during this time.” “Are you related to the deceased?” one yells. I realize I’m going to have to give them something to get them to leave. “Listen, yes, I was related. The gentleman we are laying to rest today is my girlfriend’s grandfather. I ask that you give their family the privacy they need to mourn their loss. The guys and I would be happy to talk to you on another day. Today it’s time for us to spend with our families. Please respect that and leave.” I want to wring their damn necks, but I keep my cool, for Logan and her family,—my future inlaws, if I have a say in the matter. “What—” Gavin cuts him off. “Listen, we’re trying to be nice about this. We can do this the hard way and have the police escort you from the premises. Please, just let us have our privacy with our family,” he tries again. “Is there a problem here?” A uniformed officer asks. He’s walking from the parking lot. “We’ve asked these gentlemen to leave, to allow us privacy, and they’re refusing,” Tristan sings like a canary. “This is private property, and I’ve been advised that you are not here to pay your respects and to escort you from the premises,” the officer says. Two more officers walk up and, suddenly, the photographers are quick to change their tune. “We’re leaving,” the ringleader says and they turn and hustle off to the parking lot. I turn to the officer. “I’m not sure where you came from, but thank you so much. I’ll make sure to get you all some merch when we get back home. Do you have a card or something?” “No, sir, just doing our job,” he says. “You all can go in. We’ll stand out here and keep them away.” I nod and lead Logan into the building, the guys and Stacy following closely behind. “Gah! I was wondering where they were,” Stacy says when we’re all inside. “What are you talking about?” Cole asks her. His arm is still thrown across her shoulders. “I called the police. I had a feeling after last night at the visitation that this might be a possibility. I figured better safe than sorry.” Cole stares are her in fascination. “Thank you,” he finally says. The rest of us, including Logan, tell her how grateful we are before taking our seats.
The funeral is . . . nice. I really don’t know what else to call it. There were several members of the family, and the community, who stood before the room to tell stories of Logan’s grandfather. He seemed as though he was well liked and would bend over backward to help you. I wish I could have met him. We’re back at her parents’ house and I’m keeping my eye on Logan. She’s staying busy helping her mom with the food. “Let’s go for a walk, handsome.” I look over and see Logan’s gran smiling up at me. Leaning in, I kiss Logan on the temple and hold my arm out for her gran. “Where are we headed?” “Oh, just out to the back porch. This house is getting a little stuffy for my taste,” she says. Once we reach the porch, she points to the swing. I make sure she gets comfortable before sitting down beside her. “You look at her just like my William used to look at me,” she says. I grin. “How is that exactly?” “Like she’s the sun and you’re simply here to revolve around her.” I laugh. “Pretty much. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” “She says the same about you. It’s refreshing to see two young kids as young as yourselves fall in love.” She raises her eyebrow as if daring me to deny it. “You should see it from my end.” I wink at her. “Everything is better. I can’t explain it. When something happens, she’s the first person I want to tell. I miss her when she’s gone, even if it’s just to run out to the store.” I chuckle. “I must sound like a complete freak. I promise I’m not,” I defend myself. “Nonsense. You sound like you are quite smitten with my granddaughter.” “I’m in love with her.” “Good. I told her as much. I just needed to make sure my suspicion was correct.” “How did you know? We hadn’t even met yet.” “The way her eyes lit up when she talked about you. I could tell you caused that. You make her feel special and loved. Only a man in love can put that look in a woman’s eyes,” she says, patting my knee. “Mom, there you are,” Logan’s dad says. “There are several people looking for you, wanting to say goodbye.” “Oh, dear.” She starts to get up. I stand and offer her my hand and help her from the swing. “Do you need help getting in?” I ask. “No, sweet boy, I can make it.” She pats my arm and disappears inside. “She’s a handful.” Logan’s dad laughs. “She kept Dad on his toes.” “I bet she did. I’m sorry for you loss.” I’ve said that already, but it seems appropriate to say it again speaking of his father. “Thank you. My daughter is happy,” he says, cutting to the chase.
I smile. “I hope so, sir. That’s all I want for her.” “I can see that. I gotta be honest, at first I was worried. Your career comes with unwanted attention, and I wasn’t sure how either of you would handle it. That is until I saw what happened today at the funeral home.” I turn to face him. He must see the question in my eyes. “I needed some air. I was standing off to the side of the building when those photographers started hassling you. You put my daughter and my family first. I wasn’t sure you would. I’ve seen way too many who are in your position who thrive on being the center of chaos and attention. You claimed our family as your own and you protected my daughter.” “Logan comes first with me, always. I would give it all up tomorrow if it meant that I got to live the rest of my life with her. I love music, writing is my passion, and God graced me with a set of lungs that don’t sound half bad. The band, we’ve all been best friends our entire lives.” I stop there, and then decide I might as well throw it all out there. “I love your daughter, sir. I know you don’t know me, but I will prove to you that she’s my world. I would like to ask her to marry me someday. I hope I will have your permission when I do so.” “Do you need it?” he asks. “No. I don’t need it. I do, however, want it. I’m going to ask her regardless, but it would mean a lot to me, and to her, to know we have your blessing.” “Good answer.” He smirks. “I had this same conversation with my father-in-law, and it was very similar. He asked me the same thing and I pretty much gave him the same answer you just gave me. If Logan chooses you to spend her life with, you have my blessing.” Relief washes through me. I meant what I said; I don’t need his permission, but I really wanted it for me, and for her. “Thank you, sir. I’ll cherish her always.” “A little soft for a rocker, don’t you think?” He laughs. “Not when it comes to Logan. I handed her my balls months ago,” I fire back. He smacks me on the shoulder. “Good man. Keep my baby girl happy.” “There you are. What are you two doing out here?” Logan asks, stepping out onto the porch. “Just getting some air, sounds like things are settling down in there,” her dad says. “Yes, everyone’s gone. Jase just left to take Gran home.” She looks at me. “You ready to head out? I’m exhausted.” “Anytime you are, babe,” I reply. Logan smiles and holds her hand out for me. I take it and allow her to pull me from the swing and tug her into my arms. “I love you,” I whisper into her neck. She giggles, so I pull back to see what she’s laughing at. Her father is standing behind us shaking his head. “You’re a goner, son,” he chides. “And damn proud of it.” I laugh and we follow him back into the house.
We’ve been back in Tennessee for a week, and I just got the call that my apartment is ready. I’ve been dreading this. Kacen hasn’t mentioned it, but he’s made it a point to tell me that I belong in his bed. That’s where I’ve been every night since we’ve been back. “Hey, babe.” Kacen walks into my office. “Hey, you guys taking a break?” The guys have been starting earlier and quitting at a decent time. Kacen says he has better places to be. Of course, he means wrapped around me in his bed. I’ve apologized to the guys, but they’ve all agreed that it’s a good trade. They get to feel like they’re an actual member of society being on the same schedule as the majority of the world. Stacy has been spending a lot of time here, and Cole tends to hang close by when that happens. Tristan has had his nose buried in his cell phone. He admits that he’s talking to a girl, but he’s tight-lipped about the rest. I need to wait until he’s not looking and steal his phone. Gavin has been spending a lot of time at the label. He’s being a liaison for the band as they start to plan for the next tour. This is usually Kacen’s job, but he gladly turned over the reins for this one. “Yeah, Gavin had a meeting at the label, and Tristan and Cole were just as eager.” “Hmmm, something’s brewing with the guys.” “Possibly. How’s your day?” he asks. Obviously, he is not as interested in the drama of his best friends’ lives as I am. “Good.” I hesitate. “I just got a call from the management company about my apartment.” “Oh, yeah? What did they have to say?” “It’s ready. We can move back anytime we want.” “I see. What’s Stacy think?” “She’s actually considering moving back in with her parents. She’s not loving this new job, and if she quits, it will be hard to make ends meet until she finds a new position.” “Good. Call them and tell them you’ll have your place cleaned out by the end of the week.”
My mouth drops open. “And where am I going to live?” He stands from his seat across from me and places his hands on my desk. Leaning over, he captures my gaze with those ocean blue eyes. “With me, in our bed, in our room, in our house.” I start to speak, but he raises a hand to stop me. “This place isn’t just mine anymore, Logan. There is not a room in this house that doesn’t hold a memory of you over the past several months. I want you here. You belong here, with me.” “It’s soon,” I say half-heartedly. I say it because it feels like I’m supposed to, but it doesn’t feel soon. It feels like I’ve loved him forever. “No it’s not. It’s forever! I finally have you, and I’m never letting you go.” His voice is soft as he leans in, his lips hovering over mine. “Say yes,” he breathes against my lips. Following my heart, I say, “Yes.” His lips connect with mine in a slow sensual tangle of our tongues. “Call them back. I’ll call the moving company.” He gives me another chaste kiss before turning and walking out the door. He’s cocky and confident and sexy as hell. I can’t wait to take this next step with him. I call Stacy and she’s relieved. She didn’t want to leave me with the rent. I tell her Kacen is scheduling a moving company and I’ll have her stuff delivered to her parents’ house. My next call is to the management company. They agree to let us out of our lease without keeping our deposit due to the inconvenience of being misplaced for so many weeks. I spend the next couple of hours answering social media messages for the band. I confirm a photo shoot with Cassidy. The label is updating their website and wants new photos of all of their clients. My stomach grumbles and I realize I’ve not eaten yet today. I log out of my computer and make my way into the kitchen. The guys are all there eating sandwiches. Kacen smiles and hands me a plate. “I was just coming to see you.” “Sure you were,” I tease him. “You wound me,” he says, placing his hand over his heart, laughing. I take a seat at the table and the five of us enjoy our lunch. “So what do you guys have going on this weekend?” I ask. “Cole claims to have a date, as does Gavin. Tristan says he plans on staying in, that a quiet night sounds perfect. I’m sure it has something to do with whomever he’s been texting lately.” “Dates? Dish it, boys. I need to meet these women, make sure they’re worthy.” The four of them erupt in laughter. “Not happening. Not yet anyway,” Gavin replies. “I’m out,” Cole adds. “Pfft, you all are no fun. I will find out, just you wait,” I warn them. “What about you?” I ask Kacen. “You mean, what about us? I thought we could get you unpacked. Get everything moved into our room,” he says, smiling. “Our room,” I repeat.
“Yeah. I thought we could just enjoy the house to ourselves for your first official weekend of living here permanently.” His statement is unmistakable. He wants this, with me. “Sounds perfect,” I say. Nothing has sounded better, other than the words “I love you” falling from his lips, in a long time. My cell rings interrupting us. I pull it out of my pocket and without looking at the screen, I answer. “Hello.” “Logan, please don’t hang up,” Daniel says. I remain quiet on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry. I was hoping that we could meet for coffee so we could talk. I know you’re not coming back to me, but I just . . . please.” I think about the time I spent with Daniel and how it ended. He’s going to keep calling until I give him this. Give him the closure that he obviously needs. “Yeah, I can do that. When?” I ask. I feel Kacen stiffen beside me. He can hear our conversation. I need to do this. “How about Starbucks, say in an hour?” he asks. I agree to meet him there and hang up the phone. “You don’t owe him anything, Logan,” Kacen says. “I know that. He needs closure, and in a way, I do too. He hurt me, used me and I would like to hear his reasoning. I wasn’t ready to hear it before, now I am. I have you and I’m moving on. Trust me,” I say as I kiss his lips. “I trust you. It’s the ex-douche who I don’t trust.” “I’m going to meet him for coffee and be back before you know it. Then we can spend the rest of the day in your bed, if that’s what you want,” I say, trying to lift his spirits. “Our bed,” he whispers the words against my lips. “Can I go with you?” “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. He’s not going to hurt me, Kacen.” “I know, but I don’t want him to think that he can get you back. We’re us, remember?” I hear the concern in his voice. “I’ll never forget. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Walking into Starbucks, I spot Daniel right away. He’s sitting at a booth in the back corner. I make my way to him, he sees me and stands up. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.” He looks over my shoulder as he is expecting Kacen to be there. “It’s just me,” I tell him. I can visibly see him relax. “I ordered for you,” he says, pointing to a cup sitting in front of me as I take a seat.” “Thank you.” “Listen, Logan. I’m going to cut right to the chase. I know he’s waiting for you. I’m sorry. Looking back, I can see how I treated you. I now understand that I was looking for something that I already had. I’ve always been that way, looking for the next best thing. All too late I realized that I had
the best all along. I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant for it to turn out that way. I really did love you. I still do.” “Daniel—” I say his name but he cuts me off. “I know that you’re with him. I’ve seen the tabloids and read the interviews of how he says you’re it for him. I can see it when he looks at you and you him. It’s just hard to see.” He’s quiet for a few minutes. “You never looked at me like that. I didn’t want to accept that you had really moved on until I saw the pictures. I’m happy for you, Logan.” “You’ll find her one day and when you do, make sure you treat her right.” What else can I say? Daniel is my past and Kacen is my present, my future. He’s everything. We say our goodbyes and I head back to see my man. He’ll be happy to see that I’m going to be home sooner than I predicted.
Friday night, Logan and I watched a movie cuddled in our bed. Yesterday, the movers showed up early and we unpacked all of her things. We also moved everything of hers from the spare bedroom to ours. Ours. There was a time I thought I would never say that. That I would never find a girl who wanted me for who I am and not the fame and fortune that comes with my career. Then Logan Paige came crashing into my life like the waves of the Hawaii shoreline. She turned my world upside down, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Today is Sunday and we’re just lying around the house. Logan had a few decorations in her apartment that she loved, so we’ve spent the morning hanging a few pictures and placing her family photographs throughout the house. I want her stuff mingled with mine. I want this to be home to her and for her to feel like it is. I’ve just finished hanging a painting in her office when the doorbell rings. There are only a few people who have the code to get past the gate. “I’ll get it,” Logan yells from the kitchen. I assume it’s one of the guys not wanting to catch us in a compromising position. I pulled them aside and let them know this is Logan’s home now too and they need to make sure they are respectful of her privacy. They called me a jackass and said they would never disrespect her. I know that, but still, it’s my job to look out for my girl. They called me a few other choice names that referred to me being whipped, and I smiled and agreed with them. Just wait. They’ll have their turn, and I will remember this. I’m just walking into the foyer when Logan pulls the door open. “Hello dear, you must be Logan. I’m Jill, Kacen’s mom, and this is his father, Mark. Is he here?” she asks. “Mom, Dad, I didn’t know you were stopping by,” I say as I step behind Logan and wrap my arm around her waist. “I see you met my girl.” I kiss Logan on the temple. “Not officially.” Mom beams at me. “Come in, and we can make it official.”
I step back, bringing Logan with me as my parents enter our home. “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Logan. Logan, meet my parents, Jill and Mark.” Mom pulls her into a hug, “I’ve heard so much about you.” Dad then pulls her from Mom’s arms. “It’s good to finally see my boy happy,” he tells her. As we make our way to the living room, I ask, “So what brings you by?” “Well, I was talking to Lee and she said Gavin was home this weekend, and we figured since you boys were taking a break, we would drop in and say hello. I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Mom says as an afterthought. “Not at all. We’ve spent the weekend getting Logan unpacked.” “Oh, she said yes.” Mom’s smile lights up her face. “How’d you talk her into it, son?” Dad chuckles. “Easy, she loves me.” Logan and my parents laugh at my response. We throw some burgers on the grill for lunch and spend the afternoon together. Logan and my mom hit it off and Dad has given me the look of approval several times this afternoon. I knew they would love her and told them as much. I talk to my parents at least once a week, if not more. I have a feeling Mom got the inside scoop that Logan agreed to move in and couldn’t take the suspense of not having met her yet. It’s not that I didn’t want them to meet, I did. However, I spent my time getting the girl. I had planned on setting something up this week, dinner or something. They just beat me to it. Mom tells us men to find something else to do while she and Logan chat. I can tell by the smile on her face that Logan is good with this. I ask her anyway, because that’s my job. “You good, babe?” “Yes, your parents are great,” she replies. I kiss her soft lips before Mom’s slaps me on the back, shooing me out of the room. Dad and I head to the rec room in the basement. I grab us both a beer as we take a seat on the couch. “You did good, son.” He taps his bottle to mine. “I think so. She’s real. She calls me on my shit, and she couldn’t care less how much money I have in the bank.” “So what’s the next step? I know you.” He laughs. “Well, I actually called her dad today for a suggestion for a real estate agent in Ohio. I want to buy a house there so she knows she can go and spend time with her family any time she wants. I want to buy it, then fly her there and ask her to marry me. I want her family close, because I know she’ll want to share it with them. I was hoping you and Mom would fly out too. You could stay in the new house with us, or I’ll get you a room. It would be nice for you to meet my future in-laws.” “Whatever you need, son, you know that. I’m damn proud of you. Never have you let the fame or the money change you. You’ve stayed true to yourself. I wish you as much happiness in your marriage as I have in mine.” I choke up at his words. It means a lot to me to hear him say he’s proud and that I’ve stayed on the straight and narrow regardless of the temptations my career provides. And as far as his marriage, my father taught me how to treat a woman. I watched him with my mother. He never left the house without kissing her goodbye and saying I love you. He came home the same way. I want that with Logan. I want it all with her.
We finish our beers and then head back up to the women who hold our hearts. I’m a sappy love drunk fool when it comes to her. She’s it.
My mom called, inviting all of us for the weekend. When I say all of us, I mean all six of us. She also said that if the guys had anyone special in their lives, they could come too. I’m still working on figuring out that mystery. Apparently, my little brother will be home from college this weekend. The football team has a bye and she misses us. It’s not unusual for Mom to call and say she misses me, but to invite us all back to Ohio seems a little odd. I chalk it up to the fact that Jase and I are both moving forward with our lives. He moved away to college, and I’m back home in Tennessee, home with Kacen. I tell Kacen and the guys about her offer and they immediately accept, saying it will be good to get away for the weekend. I call Stacy and she’s eager to go as well. Kacen decides it’s best to rent a Suburban to drive up, enjoy the fall scenery. I don’t argue, because everyone seems to think it’s the best idea since sliced bread. Not sure what’s going on with all of them, but I’m determined to find out. I offered that the guys could bring a friend. Gavin said his girl had to work, and Tristan just grinned, saying he was good. Cole smirked and said his girl had plans. I’m not going to give up so easily. The drive to Ohio is entertaining. The guys riddle Stacy and me with stories of growing up together and being on the road. They even break out in song when theirs comes on the radio, saying they sound better live. My mom insisted that we all stay at the house. They have the space. Kacen and I will be in my old room, Stacy will be in the spare, and the rest of the guys will sleep downstairs. We have a bedroom down there and two pull-out couches. She wouldn’t have it any other way. I told them they could refuse, but they all seemed to like the idea of the press not knowing they were in town. No airports and no hotels equals a quiet stay in the birthplace of aviation. We get to my parents’ and Stacy suggests we unpack later and visit first. The guys readily agree after the five-hour drive. Mom meets us at the door and hugs us all. She tells us she’s going to just order pizza tonight and Kacen volunteers to go pick it up.
Mom disappears into the kitchen after getting everyone’s topping preference and Jase strikes up a conversation about football. I sit snuggled into Kacen, listening to the banter. I survey the room and realize Stacy didn’t fall all over my brother like she normally does. I make a mental note to question her. “You want to ride with me to get the pizza, babe?” Kacen asks me. “Sure, that would make it easier for you to find it,” I agree. Mom tries to give Kacen money, and he waves her off, telling her that’s the least he can do for her letting everyone crash at the house. She protests, but he doesn’t give in.
They’re all in on it. Every one of them has helped me orchestrate this. I couldn’t have done it without them. Her parents found the realtor and went to a dozen different showings. I trusted their judgment. I gave them my requirements and I let them choose. This would be a home we live in just when visiting them, but I still needed to make sure it’s in a safe neighborhood and I wanted a big backyard for the kids to play in. The prospect of being a grandma made her mom very happy. She went as far as to ask how long. I just laughed and told her to let me get her to agree to marry me first. She assured me I had it in the bag. Logan and I head out to pick up the pizza when really I’m taking her to our new house. I pull out my phone and tap on the GPS app where the address is already saved. “You don’t need that. I know where we’re going. I did grow up here,” she teases. “I know, but I have something I want to show you first.” “What?” I expected this. “Just some property I found online.” “Real estate is a good investment,” she agrees. I fight like hell to keep the smile from gracing my lips. The drive is only ten minutes, another requirement. I wanted the house to be close to her parents. I pull into the drive and the pictures her dad sent don’t do it justice. “Wow,” she breathes. “This place is gorgeous.” “You think so?” I act as if I’m not really sure. “Yes! Let’s sneak a peek through the windows,” she says, bouncing in her seat. I grin. “We don’t have to. The realtor sent me the keys.” I hold them up for her. It’s not a lie. The realtor did mail them to me, once she received my check. “Look at you, Mr. Rock Star, getting special privileges,” she jokes. “Perks of the job.” I smile back at her. “Let’s look around.” We climb out of the car and my nerves start to get the better of me. During this entire process,
buying the house, arranging for everyone to be here, buying furniture, I never once let the thought cross my mind that she might say no, not until this instant, just moments before I drop to one knee and ask her for forever. I lace her fingers with mine and lead her up the front steps. I stop just outside the front door. “After you,” I say as I twist the key and push open the door. She steps in and I’m right behind her. The living room furniture is all set up and a huge bouquet of fresh red roses, three dozen to be exact, sit in the middle of the coffee table. “Wow,” she says, taking it all in. “I think someone might be living here,” she says. I reach for the rose that is sitting on the table next to the door and pull the ring box out of my pocket. I drop to one knee just in time as she turns around. Confusion crosses her face until she realizes what’s happening. Her hand flies over her mouth as tears well up in her eyes. This is it. “I had this big speech planned, and now I can’t remember a word of it,” I confess. She smiles as tears stream down her face. “You are an unexpected treasure. You love me for who I am in here.” I place my hand over my heart. “You don’t care about the fame or the money, you’re content with just me, Kacen. I never thought I would find that. Someone who could look past my career and see me, but then I spotted you that day on the beach, and suddenly, my world was turned upside down. I love you, Logan. I want to share my life with you, make memories that we will someday tell our grandchildren about. I want to make babies with you. I want to give you my last name.” She drops to her knees before me, tears running unchecked down her face, her smile lighting up the room. “Will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?” I choke up on the last words. “Yes!” She launches herself into my arms. I exhale for the first time in what feels like days and kiss the hell out of her.
Kacen pulls away from our kiss and takes my hand. I watch as he slides the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen before in my life onto my left hand. It’s a princess cut surrounded by diamonds on both sides of the band. I’m sure that I’m missing intricate details, but my tears are blurring my vision. “Why are we here?” I finally remember to ask. He chuckles. “This is our home, our Ohio home. I wanted to have a place of our own when we come to visit the family. I had your dad help me pick it out. Do you like it?” Is he crazy? “Yes, if the rest of it looks like this, hell yes!” I say with excitement. “It does. The furniture was delivered yesterday and your parents made sure everything was set up,” he explains. “Seriously? You, sir, are sneaky.” “Yeah and Stacy and the guys are going to be staying here with us. I thought we could start making memories in our new place. I even invited Jase to stay. My parents are here and staying with yours.” “Seriously?” I ask again, dumbfounded. He goes on to explain that he wanted to drive to prevent having to clean out his pockets at the airport, and he refused to let the ring out of his sight. He also informed me that our families and friends would be here any minute with the pizza that we failed to pick up. “I can’t believe you did all this.” “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” he says, kissing me softly. “I love you, Kacen Warren.” “I love you, future Mrs. Warren.” Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being here in this moment with him. What started out as a one-time vacation fling, led to my forever. We’re us. I can’t wait to take his last name.
Today’s the day. Our wedding day. I thought the day that she agreed to marry me was the happiest day of my life. I was wrong. Today, surrounded by our family and friends, we vowed to love one another. Logan Paige Warren, I fucking love the sound of that. “There you are,” she says, coming to stand beside me. “Sorry, I got lost in the crowd.” She grins as I lean down and kiss her. “I missed you, Mrs. Warren,” I say against her lips. She giggles and my grin grows. I love seeing my girl happy. “I told them I needed to get back to my husband.” She winks as she points over her shoulder to Stacy, Cassidy and her cousin, Lauren. “So, wife of mine, when do I get this big gift you’ve been going on about all week?” I ask. “Hmmm, not sure when I’ll give you the big reveal. Soon though, you just need to be patient.” Patience I can do. Now that she’s my wife, I can rest easily. She’s all I want; anything else is just icing on the cake. As soon as she said yes, I was insistent that we not have a long engagement. I needed her to have my last name. Luckily, she agreed that she was ready to start our future together. Something about a talk she had with her gran and living life to the fullest. I didn’t question her. She was on board and here we are, three months later, and it’s official. “Looks like your girls got my boys by the tail.” I tilt my head to where the wedding party sits. Cole is sitting next to Stacy and is hanging on every word that leaves her lips. Tristan and Lauren are sitting with their heads close together talking between themselves. Gavin and Cassidy are actually holding hands under the table. It’s hard to really tell unless you are standing right where I am. “Looks like you were the first to fall but not the last,” Logan tells me. “Good things are coming our way. The guys and are I excited about starting the label, and moving on to our next adventure. I’m looking forward to finding new talent and guiding them through the process.” I pull her close. “We get to start our future, our family,” I say softly. I can’t wait
to see her carrying our baby. Never thought I would find love and happiness in my career. Logan has given me more than I could have ever dreamed for. “I’m so proud of you.” She smiles up at me. Leaning down, I whisper, “I love you, Mrs. Warren,” in her ear.
I’ll never get tired of hearing him say that. I find myself smiling just at the thought of him saying those three little words to me. He’s been asking me about his gift and I want to give it to him. I just can’t figure out the right time. After his little speech, I know that the time is now. “Take a walk with me, Mr. Warren.” He nods, and turns us toward the terrace. It’s chilly but I only need a minute. As soon as he shuts the doors, the noise of the reception filled with family and friends fades away. It’s just the two of us with a mountain view of the sunset. Perfect. Placing my hands on the railing, I take a deep breath. Kacen steps in behind me and wraps me in his arms. It’s now or never. Turning in his arms, I place my hand on his cheek. “I want to give you your gift now, is that okay?” He looks confused, considering there is no gift in sight. “Whenever you’re ready,” he replies. “Close your eyes,” I tell him; my voice is soft. He closes them without question. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I whisper in his ear, “You’re going to be a daddy.” His eyes pop open as does his mouth. “Repeat that,” he demands. I giggle. I can see the hope behind those ocean blue eyes. “I said you’re going to be a daddy,” I repeat louder this time. “WOO HOO!” he yells, picking my up and crashing his lips to mine. When we finally come up for air, he asks, “When? How? I’m so fucking stoked!” I knew this would be his reaction. He’s always said he wants a family. “In about seven and a half months and apparently, I’m the .01 percent that can get pregnant on birth control,” I explain as my doctor did to me last week. He drops to his knees and places a kiss against my belly. Looking up, he has tears in his eyes. “I love you so fucking much, Logan. Both of you,” he says emphatically as his big hands cover where he just placed his lips. I smile. I can’t speak for the tears that are threatening to fall. Kacen Michael Warren is not who I expected him to be. He’s so much more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together, see him as a father. Live each day to the fullest.
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With You Series Anywhere With You More With You Everything With You
Stand Alone Titles
Tempting Tatum
Levitate
Just Say When
To my amazing husband; you are my biggest supporter. You talk plot, discuss scenes and give me your honest opinion. You never begrudge the importance that writing holds in my life. You embrace it. Thank you for being you. I love you! I’ve said it a million times and will continue to do so. The indie community is amazing. The support from readers, authors, bloggers, photographers, editors and formatters is overwhelming. I’m honored to be a part of it all. To my author BFFS—you know who you are. I love the support that we give one another and I am thankful every single one of you. Having a tight nit group that understands the process and the time away from your family, it’s a blessing. Thank you for always being there. Sommer Stein, Perfect Pear Creative Covers, you rocked it again cover girl! Thank you so much for another amazing cover. Brian Wynne, thank you for agreeing to be the face of Emphatic. It’s been a pleasure working with you. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Eric McKinney 6:12 Photography; thank you for making the shoot effortless on my part. Your pictures make a pretty kick ass cover, just saying. Tami Intergrity Formatting, you never let me down. You make my words come together in a pretty little package. Thank you so much for making Emphatic look fabulous on the inside! Saoching Moose what can I say? We battled on this one, but I love you anyway. Thank you for being you. Kaylee 2, Jamie, Stacy, Lauren and Becky thank you so much for taking the time to read Emphatic and give me your honest feedback. The time you take from your families to read for me, I appreciate more than you know. You ladies hold a special place in my heart.
Give Me Books, thank you for hosting and organizing the release of Emphatic. I appreciate all of your hard work getting this book out there. To all of the bloggers out there . . . Thank you so much. Your continued never-ending support of myself, and the entire indie community is greatly appreciated. I know that you don’t hear it enough so hear me now. I appreciate each and every one of you and the support that you have given me. Thank you to all of you! There are way too many of you to list . . . To my Kick Ass Crew, you ladies know who you are. I will never be able to tell you how much your support means. I will never forget all that you have done for me. Thank you! Kaylee (2) Not much new I can say. You are a constant beam of support and the friendship that we have formed is something that I will always cherish. Thank you for being you!
Last but not least, to the readers. Without you none of this would even be worth the effort. I truly love writing and I am honored that I am able to share that with you. Thank you to each and every one of you who continue support me, and my dream of writing. With Love,
Table of Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44
Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Epilogue Contact Kaylee Ryan Also by Kaylee Ryan Acknowledgements