Checkmate:This is Beautiful (Checkmate Duet #6) - Kennedy Fox

Copyright © 2017 Kennedy Fox www.kennedyfoxbooks.com

Checkmate: This is Beautiful Checkmate Duet Series, Book 6 Cover Design & Photography by Sara Eirew Photography Copy editor: Mitzi Carroll Proofreader: Virginia Tesi Carey All rights reserved. No parts of the book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to another person except when loaned out per Amazon’s lending program. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then it was pirated illegally. Please purchase a copy of your own and respect the hard work of this author.

Checkmate /ˈCHekˌmāt/ Noun (Chess) 1. A position in which a player’s king is in check and the player has no legal move (i.e. cannot move out of or escape the check). A player whose king is checkmated loses the game. 2. Utter defeat

“We were crazy, tragic, and epic, and so amazing. I’ll always wear the crown that you gave me. We will always stay lost in forever, and they’ll remember. We were legends.”

-Kelsea Ballerini

To pumpkin spice lattes, our favorite songs on repeat, leggings that withstand 3 days worth of wear, crappy cooking, laundry that’ll stay in the dryer a couple extra days, and our husbands who put up with our wacky sleep and work schedules and are always there to remind us to shower, eat, and sleep on occasion. Also, to our friends who have accepted us despite all our quirks. And donuts.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN CHAPTER SIXTEEN CHAPTER SEVENTEEN CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CHAPTER NINETEEN CHAPTER TWENTY CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE COMING NEXT BOOKS BY KENNEDY FOX ABOUT THE AUTHOR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS NEWSLETTER

CHAPTER ONE LOGAN Who is he? Who is he? Her words repeat in my mind, my stomach feeling sick at the realization of what’s happening. How’d she remember Viola and Courtney, but she looks at me as if I have a third eye? So many things are running through my head at once, I can barely focus long enough to hear what the nurse is saying. Just as I’m about to tell her I’m her boyfriend, the same nurse that was here the first day steps in. “This is Detective Knight. He was the first to arrive when you came in.” What the fuck? “Oh. What for?” she asks, trying to not look directly at me. “He just wanted to ask you some questions about the incident, but if you’re not up for it, it’s no problem.” She swallows, blinks, and then finally looks at me. “I’m not sure I’ll be much help.” “Do you remember what happened?” I barge into the conversation. “Can you tell me what you were doing at the time of the incident?” She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip and shakes her head. “You don’t remember or you can’t tell me?” I ask, eagerly. “I-I don’t remember.” Her bottom lip starts to tremble, and I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for scaring her. “Perhaps Detective Knight can come back when you’re feeling better,” Sara states with a clip in her voice. Just as I’m about to argue with her so I can stay, Kayla speaks up. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” “All right,” Sara bites out. “I’m going to ask you a series of questions just to gauge where you’re at, okay?” “Why? Is something wrong with me?” Kayla asks, scared, and I wish more than anything that I could wrap her in my arms and comfort her. “No, honey. It’s very common to not remember an incident. But to be safe, I’m going to ask you some routine questions to gauge what you do or don’t remember, okay?” Kayla nods, looking sheepish.

“Can you tell me your name?” Her name? Of course, she knows her name. She has to. “Kayla Adele Sinclair,” she answers softly, lowering her eyes. “Adele was apparently a family name.” How ironic considering none of her family stuck around to raise her. “Do you know your birthday, Kayla?” “December twenty-fifth.” The nurse looks down at the chart and confirms it with a nod. Wait, what? After all the times we talked about her love for Christmas, not once had she ever mentioned it was also her birthday. Now that I think about it, we weren’t together during the holidays and since everyone was always doing their own things, it was never brought up. I can’t believe I never thought to ask. What the fuck kind of boyfriend am I? Apparently a bad one. I gasp aloud and she looks up at me briefly before shifting her eyes back to the nurse. She looks at me like I’m a stranger. “Can you tell me your address?” Sara asks. Kayla answers correctly. “Where do you work?” Kayla answers correctly again. “What year is it?” She pauses, her eyes blinking and moving back and forth as if she really has to think about it. “Kayla?” Sara grabs her attention. “Um…” She shakes her head as if she’s trying to clear out her mind. “2015.” My breath hitches, and I see the way Sara tenses. She’s as shocked as I am. Kayla notices, her eyes focusing in on us as if she’s trying to read our thoughts. “Is that wrong?” she asks, her tone sad. When neither of us answers, she continues. “It’s wrong, isn’t it?” Before she can freak out, Sara calms her. “Kayla, honey, it’s going to be okay. It’s perfectly normal for someone in your position to be a little confused.” Sara’s words seem to calm Kayla, but not me. I only met Kayla a little less than two years ago, so if she doesn’t recognize me and thinks it’s 2015, there’s a possibility she won’t be able to remember me at all. “Can I speak to you out in the hall?” I ask Sara, tilting my head toward the door.

“Yes, absolutely.” She then turns back toward Kayla. “I’m going to call the doctor and let him know you’re awake. He may want to order more testing, so just hang tight, okay?” I follow Sara out into the hallway and wait for her to close the door before speaking up. “What the—” “Detective Knight, please.” She holds her hand up before I can even finish my sentence. “You bombarding her with facts she can’t remember will not help her. It’ll only confuse her more.” “How? Shouldn’t we tell her it’s 2017 and that I’m her boyfriend to jog her memory or something?” I ask, frantic. “No, it’s the opposite actually. If you tell her things she doesn’t remember, she won’t know what is a memory and what she’s only remembering from what she was told. She needs to remember on her own,” she tells me sincerely, yet it does nothing for my heart. “So, what? I just pretend I’m only here for the incident and that our friendship for the past two years never existed?” She can tell I’m upset and tries to calm me by placing her palm on my arm. “I assure you, it’s the only way. If she doesn’t remember you now, it doesn’t mean she won’t. Give her time. For now, just be a part of her support team.” I inhale a deep breath, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Be a part of her support team? Please. How am I supposed to just stand back and pretend I’m not helplessly in love with a girl who can’t remember me and watch as she forgets everything we’ve had? “I’m going to tell her friends the same thing. Let her tell you what she remembers, and once she goes home, things might start coming back to her organically,” she tells me. “Might?” “We won’t know for sure until we get the results back from her MRI. All we can do is observe her for now. Symptoms like hers aren’t uncommon, but it’s enough to raise some concern, which is why I’m going to page her doctor to do a more thorough exam and see if there’s any other testing he suggests.” “So, what do I do now? Go in there and pretend to only be a detective on her case?” “Well, considering she doesn’t remember the incident, there’s nothing you can do as a detective.” “What are you saying?” “I’m saying you need to walk away for now. You being there will only confuse her more. She’ll start to ask questions about why you’re there and what happened. She needs to be around people she remembers. It may spark something later.” I lick my lips and brush a hand through my hair, frustration and anger boiling inside me. I can’t fucking believe this. How the hell am I supposed to just walk away? “Her friends will be here soon. I’ll let them know.” I turn and leave before she can respond. It’s best I don’t blow up at the nurse responsible for my girlfriend right now, but

it takes every ounce of willpower inside me to walk away.

KAYLA Waking up in a room you don’t recognize with a person you don’t know staring back at you is one of the weirdest moments of my life. I woke up to a pulsating ache on the back of my head and a fuzzy memory. Trying to think of the last thing that happened is harder than it sounds because I can’t remember much at all. I don’t know why I’m in here or who that insanely good-looking guy was, and although he claims to be a detective, I have a feeling that’s not the entire truth. He called me Angel and kissed my hand. So, if he’s more than just a detective, wouldn’t I know something like that? Feeling anxious, a million questions swirl in my mind as I wait for the nurse to come back. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to focus on the last thing I remember. Viola had baby James a few months ago. I remember holding him. Courtney and I were talking about wedding details and bridesmaid dresses for Viola and Travis’ wedding this fall. I just had my first real promotion at my job. Nothing else comes clearly to mind. Dating wasn’t something I did a lot of, yet I have a feeling that guy was something to me. I just can’t fucking remember! Finally, the nurse walks in with a smile and tells me the doctor is on his way to speak to me. “Can you tell me what happened?” I blurt out before she walks out. “Or what year it really is?” She turns and faces me, her expression not giving much away until she lowers her eyes, and I can tell there’s something she’s not telling me. “All I can say is that it’s 2017. You had an incident that involved you smacking your head, and we kept you sedated for a few days while we waited for the swelling in your brain to go down.” “Has it gone down?” “Yes, that’s why we felt confident in decreasing the sedation.” “Then why do I think it’s two years ago? That doesn’t make any sense.” She walks closer to my bed and wraps her hands around the railing. “There’s still a lot we don’t know about the brain, sweetie. Sometimes to protect you from tragic events, your brain blocks out the memory of the event. Usually, it’s temporary.” “But sometimes it’s not?” She swallows and nods. “Sometimes it’s permanent.” I blink. “Wow.”

“There’s no way of knowing for sure. Patients wake up and lose days to years of their life without ever getting those memories back. Sometimes it takes a few weeks and things starts to come back to them.” “Then what? What do those people do who don’t remember?” “Well, they go live their life the best they can. Fortunately, you have great friends who have been here for you, and I have no doubt they’ll help you get through this.” “Yeah, Courtney and Viola. How come I can remember them?” “You knew them in 2015?” she asks, and I confirm with a nod. “Your brain is only blocking memories up to a certain time frame.” “Which is why I don’t remember that guy,” I say, mostly to myself, but I know she hears me. “He’s not a detective on my case, is he?” I ask, looking directly in her eyes so I can read her. She purses her lips. “I can’t say. I’m sorry.” My shoulders slouch just as a knock sounds from the door. “Come in,” I yell before the nurse can shoo anyone away. Courtney and Viola nearly knock each other over rushing to my bed. “Oh my God!” I hear Courtney. They both lunge at me, and the nurse is quick to move out of their way. She lets herself out and I know I only have a few minutes with them alone before the doctor comes in. “I’m so happy to see your faces!” I tell them, hugging both of their necks. “How are you feeling?” Viola asks, both taking a seat at the edge of my bed. “Logan gave us a quick update, but—” “Who’s Logan?” I interrupt. They look at me like I grew a second head. “Oh, that must be Detective Knight, right?” Viola looks over at Courtney as she nods. “Yeah, he told us that you were having some complications,” Courtney says as if she’s trying to be sensitive, but I don’t need her to be. I need answers. “The nurse won’t tell me much, but I need to know. Am I dating that guy? The nurse said he was a detective on my case, but the way he was touching and looking at me, I don’t buy it.” “You two have been dating for the last few months,” Courtney tells me. “You’re like in love and all that,” Viola says with a sweet smile. “Really?” I gasp, blushing. “First time dating a hot guy who loves me, and I don’t remember him? How fucking convenient,” I mutter. “Well, and according to you, he’s amazing in bed,” Viola adds. Courtney whacks her in the arm and gives her a look.

“Ow!” She starts rubbing the sore spot. “What was that for?” “Logan told us to be careful what we tell her and you jump right into their sex life?” Courtney scolds. “Maybe it’ll spark a memory!” Viola tries to defend herself. I burst out laughing for the first time in days, and I can feel the affects of it in my chest. I’ve been lying in bed so long, I’m starting to get tight and achy. “So basically, I’m in love with a really hot guy who’s fantastic in bed and I can’t remember ever meeting him? Is that where I’m at?” I ask, although my tone is laced with sarcasm. “This is just my luck. Seriously.” “Kay,” Courtney says, soothingly, “there’s a good chance your memory will come back.” “And there’s also a chance it won’t,” I spit back. Just then I notice Courtney’s rock on her left ring finger. “Wait.” I grab her hand and inspect the ring. “Are you married?” Courtney and Viola both pause and watch my reaction. Glancing at Viola’s hand, I see there’s a rock on her left ring finger, too. I knew about her and Travis being engaged, but not married. But I guess since it’s 2017, they would be married by now. “I don’t remember you dating anyone,” I tell her. “In the two years I don’t remember, you dated, got engaged, and married someone?” The surprise in my tone is evident, not because Courtney isn’t a total catch, but that seems like a huge life milestone in just a couple of years. “Yup,” she says, smiling brightly. “Remember Viola’s brother, Drew?” My brows shoot up. “Oh my God! The cop?” “Mm-hmm,” she says. “That’s him.” “What?” I gasp. “Are you serious?” Viola notices how freaked out I am and starts shooting looks over at Courtney. “Maybe we shouldn’t be telling you all of this. Logan said we’re not supposed to tell you things you don’t remember.” “What? Why?” I ask, annoyed. “Why the hell not?” “Well, that’s what the nurse told him,” Courtney chimes in. “Apparently, we’re supposed to let your memory come back naturally; otherwise, you won’t know if you’re remembering a memory or if you’re just remembering what you were told.” “Ugh,” I groan. “So, I’m supposed to go home thinking it’s two years ago and live life normally?” Before they can answer my rhetorical question, a soft knock comes from the door, and the doctor steps inside with Sara following behind. “Hello, Kayla. It’s nice to see you awake.” He shoots a smile in my direction, and I want to beg him to fix me. “I’m Doctor Harris.”

“Hi, Doctor Harris,” I say. “These are my friends, Courtney and Viola.” He nods in their direction and smiles. “I was hoping to examine you and see if you needed any further testing.” He flashes his eyes over to them sitting on the edge of my bed, signaling he wants them to leave, and they get the hint. “Call us later, okay? We’ll come back as soon as you say the word.” Courtney and Viola wrap their arms around my neck one more time. “She’ll more than likely be moved to another floor, so visiting hours will be a little more flexible,” Sara tells them. I tell them goodbye and watch them leave. A feeling of loneliness overwhelms me, and I wish they could’ve stayed. Doctor Harris waits until the door closes behind them before talking. He describes what he’s going to do before he feels around my neck and head. He looks in my eyes, ears, and nose. He listens to my heart and chest. All routine stuff. “I think to be on the cautious side, I’m going to order another MRI and CT scan to make sure there’s no bleeding that was missed or swelling that’s putting pressure on certain areas of your brain.” “Is that all necessary?” I ask. His lips tilt into a smile. “I’m always extra thorough.” He winks and pats my arm. “Best case scenario, everything will check out just fine and you’ll get moved to the recovery floor where they’ll assist you with some rehab treatment.” “Rehab?” “Neurological and cognitive rehab therapy, if needed. Again, just precautionary. It’s likely your memory will return as normal, but in the event it doesn’t, you’ll need some help rehabbing back into your life.” His words are clear, yet they sound muffled in my mind. Everything seems to be happening so fast, I can barely catch up with this new reality. I blink a few times, over and over, wondering if I’m having a nightmare and I just need to wake up. But when the doctor pats my arm once more, the feeling rippling against my skin, I know I’m living a real-life nightmare and there’s no waking up from it.

CHAPTER TWO LOGAN Everything in my world has been frozen, suspended in time, since the accident two weeks ago. I’ve lived the same terrible day over and over, and while I took a few days off work to stay at the hospital with Kayla, I have to go back tomorrow, and I’m not looking forward to it. Last night I barely slept and today I’m paying for it. My schedule has been off, and I’ve been getting up closer to eight than six. I sit at the edge of my bed, trying to wake up from this nightmare I’m living, but it’s no use. After I feed Herman, I get dressed for the gym, but first head to Kayla’s house to take care of the dogs. Thankfully, they’ve become used to my presence, but it doesn’t stop them from jumping on me when I walk in. I round up their leashes and take them on their morning walk to Donny’s, or maybe they walk me. It’s hard to tell with how excited they are. Getting up this past week at the butt crack of dawn and eating donuts has become our routine. They pull me all the way to Donny’s, and as soon as I walk in, he greets me just as if Kayla is with me. He gives me a sad smile then perks up and feeds the pups their treats. “Is she doing any better?” he asks, his face lights up. “I miss my favorite customer.” “She’s awake. Responsive. But…” I try to find the right words. Donny is patient and waits for me to continue. “But, she doesn’t remember anything from the last two years.” Sadness is in my tone, and there’s not much I can do to cover it. “How does something like that happen?” Donny asks. “The memories are just gone?” I nod. “When someone experiences head trauma, memory loss is a possibility. But because of this, she may not remember specific things about the shop or you, so don’t be alarmed. Hopefully, things will return to normal sooner than later.” Donny smiles and hands me a small paper bag that I know is full of donuts. “I’m sorry to hear that.” The corner of his lips tilts up slightly. “Oh, there’s an extra one in there for you. See you all tomorrow!” After waving goodbye, I take the long way back because the dogs have been cooped up more than usual. Since I have extra time, we go a few extra blocks to try to get rid of some of their pent-up energy. By the time I bring them inside, they’re parched and drink water like they’ll never get it again. Opening the back door, I let them freely go in and out while I sit on the couch. I’m surrounded by her smell, by her completely, and a part of me feels lost. I haven’t felt this empty since being discharged from the military. Leaning my head back on the couch, I close my eyes and sit in complete silence until the three amigos come barreling in and all try to fit on my lap. They look up at me with their big brown eyes and I pet their heads then stand and give them treats. “I know, buds. I miss her too.” I refill their water and food. “I’ll be back later to let you out again, okay?”

Slipping outside, I lock the door behind me while they’re busy eating their treats and head to the gym to clear my mind. Though I run for an hour, I still feel anxious and uptight afterward. Mindlessly, I walk to the car, start it, then drive and allow the road to take me, but somehow, I end up at the hospital. Sitting in the parking lot, I wonder if I should go upstairs or not. Courtney called and updated me last night, just as she has every other night this week because I haven’t been able to go back to the hospital since Kayla woke up. She’s in another room now and has started rehabilitation, so I wouldn’t be limited to only a few minutes. Truthfully, I don’t know if I can handle how she looks at me with confusion in her eyes without saying something I shouldn’t. Filling Kayla’s memories with my words is the last thing I want. Without help from me or anyone else, I want her to remember the fun we’ve had, the latenight talks, and the unforgettable love we’ve made. I can’t explain those things to her— my words couldn’t do those experiences justice. I get out of the car and enter the hospital then walk down the stark white hallways that lead straight to her room. I peek in and see she’s sleeping. As quietly as possible, I hold the paper bag in my hand and place the cream-filled donuts Donny gave me a few hours ago on the cart next to her bed. I’m so tempted to kiss her before I leave, but I don’t. Hoping it doesn’t break me, I use every bit of strength I have to walk away for the second time. Sitting in the car, I stare at the building until I lose track of time. I wish and hope so hard that this passes quickly. As soon as I’m back home, my phone buzzes, and I see it’s Maggie. M: I got called into work. Can you take Skylar to swim lessons today? L: Sure will. Can I pick her up now? M: Yes, if you’d like. L: I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Before picking her up, I quickly jump in the shower. They live so close now that it’s easy for me to hop over and get her. For the first time in days, I smile, and Skylar is the reason. As soon as I pull up to the house, Maggie meets me at the door with a grin on her face. “Come on in,” she says, and I can tell she’s in a good mood today. Thankfully. Skylar is busy playing with dolls on the floor, and as soon as she hears me walking in, her face lights up and she runs and gives me a big hug. “Hey, baby,” I say, wrapping my arms around her little body. “Daddy! You’re here!” “Yep! I’m taking you to swim lessons today.” She claps her hands with excitement. “I’ll show you my mermaid moves!” “I can’t wait to see them,” I tell her. “Go grab your swim gear,” Maggie tells Skylar.

As soon as I release her, Skylar bolts into her bedroom, and I immediately hear her rummaging through dresser drawers. Maggie smiles at me. “My decorating skills aren’t anything like yours, but it’s starting to actually feel like home.” She looks around proudly. “I love it,” I say genuinely. “It’s the perfect place for Skylar to grow up. Great neighborhood. Close to all her grandparents…” “And close to her father.” I smile at her, and by the way she’s looking at me, I can tell there’s something else she wants to say. Before she can, Skylar runs back into the living room, bouncing to go with her backpack slung over her shoulder. “She hasn’t eaten lunch yet. I was getting ready to make her something,” Maggie says. “No problem. I’ll take care of it.” I smile at her. “Come on, Skylar. Let’s go.” “Thank you, Logan,” Maggie tells me as she follows us to the door. “Hey, that’s why I wanted you two closer. So I could be there for you and her,” I say before walking away. After Skylar is buckled in, we head to my house and I cook her macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets, because she wanted both. She sits at the table like a grown-up and tells me all about swim lessons and the kids that live down the street that she plays with every day. She’s smiling and laughing, and I’m so grateful for having her today. Skylar’s the only person that keeps my mind from drifting to dark thoughts, and that overwhelming sense of loneliness I’ve had while Kayla is recovering somewhat dissipates.

KAYLA I’m officially living in the twilight zone. I try so damn hard to remember everything, but I’m drawing a blank. Two years ago was my yesterday, and that’s a hard truth to swallow. On the rolling cart next to the bed, I see a brown paper bag with Donny’s Donuts written across the front and smile. I open it and find a donut with pink sprinkles—my absolute favorite—and another that looks to be cream-filled. Though it’s not the type I usually eat, I’m not complaining. Happily, I devour them both and my eyes practically roll to the back of my head because I haven’t had sugar like this in…well, I don’t remember. Since I woke up a week ago, I’ve been taking rehabilitation classes and am being constantly monitored. I’ve officially been in the hospital eleven days, and I’m ready to be home. After lunch, the nurse comes and tells me I’ll be released today as long as the doctor signs off, but I’ll still be required to do follow ups. Taking it easy and not overdoing it is a must. Apparently, my job has been informed of what’s going on, and I plan to go back to work next week. I feel lost.

I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in my life, and the truth is, I don’t. Though I know the consequences, I wish Viola and Courtney would’ve told me everything. It sucks. I just want to know the things I’m not remembering. Once I receive my discharge paperwork, Courtney leaves her job a little early and drives me home. We walk up to the door together, and I stand there staring at a keypad that I don’t remember. I feel a rush of anxiety come over me, and Courtney places her arm around me in an attempt to comfort me. “Hey, hey. Don’t stress. Logan knows the code to get in. Let me text him real quick.” As we stand there waiting, I’m becoming more frustrated with my situation. I squeeze my eyes tight hoping I’ll just snap out of it as Courtney texts back and forth with my apparent boyfriend. “Got it,” she says, showing me the code before punching it in. “What’s up with the cameras?” I ask as they stare me in the face. “Someone broke into your house. Logan installed the new lock and cameras for your protection.” “Well, that’s not alarming,” I mutter dryly. As soon as we walk in, Kristoff, Philip, and Adam come running toward me and practically knock me over because they’re so excited to see me. Dropping to my knees, I pet and kiss their heads. They start running around, tails wagging, and Courtney can’t stop laughing. “They’ve missed their mama,” Courtney says, watching me on the floor laughing and playing with my boys. “Who’s been taking care of them?” Courtney hesitates. “Logan’s been coming over several times a day to feed them and take them out. He’s also been coming over every morning and walking them.” My mouth falls open. “He did all that for me?” Courtney chuckles. “Well, yeah. He loves you. He’d walk those crazy animals to the moon and back if you asked him.” I swallow hard and sadness washes over me. “I wish I could remember.” “You will,” she says, confidently. “You’ll totally remember everything, and then we’ll all laugh about this later.” “I really hope you’re right, Court.” Her phone buzzes and her face lights up as she answers. “Hey, babe. Yeah, I’ll meet you there. Fifteen minutes? Sure, I’ll ask her. Alrighty. Bye!” Courtney ends the call and looks at me. “Do you want to go for a late lunch with me and Drew?” I shake my head. “Thank you for the invite, but I think I’d rather stay here, take a shower, and take the dogs out. Try to get back to normal.” As much as I can anyway.

Courtney gives me a big hug. “If you need anything, call me. Seriously. Anything at all, okay? I’ll be here in a snap.” I chuckle. “Thank you. Tell Drew I said … hi?” It feels awkward saying it because I don’t really know him too well. I mean, apparently, I do, but not anymore. “I will.” She squeezes me one last time before she leaves, and then I’m left alone with my thoughts, which I wanted. I walk around my house amazed at what I was able to do with the place over the years. I moved in a little over two years ago and it’s insane to think I accomplished this much stuff, but I’m thankful it feels like home. The layout is exactly how I envisioned it when I purchased the house with the little savings I had. I’m proud knowing I decorated and painted every room exactly how I wanted. It must’ve taken awhile, because most of it is like seeing for the first time. I continue walking through the house and can’t help but look at the pictures scattered around in silver frames when my eye lands on a photo of Detective Knight and me wearing matching ugly Christmas sweaters. I pick up the photo and feel a tug at my heart that hurts because I don’t remember any of this. Happiness radiates from that girl in the picture. Closing my eyes tight, I want so badly to instantly remember that moment in time, but it doesn’t happen. The sensation that soars through me is strange, as if someone else is wearing my face. Cold noses press against my leg and pull me away from my thoughts. Setting the photo down, I grab some treats and throw them on the floor. The boys rush to get them, and I make sure they share. I notice food is in their bowls and water is filled to the brim. I’m so thankful Logan has been taking care of them while I’ve been in the hospital. Once they’ve finished their treats, I decide I need some fresh air. I know I’m supposed to be taking it easy, but I can’t stay in the house after being cooped up in the hospital for almost two weeks. Instead, I grab their leashes and snap them to their collars. We walk down toward Donny’s and I’m excited to see him. He’s such a sweet old man. As soon as I walk in, he lights up with excitement. “There’s my favorite customer!” Donny comes around the counter and gives me a big hug. The princes are so excited to see him. “I had some of your donuts this morning,” I tell him, happily. “They were delicious.” “Yeah?” Donny’s face somewhat contorts as if he is remembering something. “Oh right. Well I hope you enjoyed them.” “I did! So much I want to get a half dozen of the pink ones with sprinkles. I think I might eat them for lunch and dinner,” I joke. “Oh, and can I get a turkey sandwich on a bagel?” Donny smiles, walks back around the counter and grabs a few treats. He throws them over the counter and the dogs catch them in their mouths. “Anything for you!” Donny loads up my bag with donuts and a sandwich, and I can’t wait to get home to eat it. “See you tomorrow?” he asks with a big, cheesy grin.

“You betcha!” I tell him before leaving. Once I’m home, I sit at the table and eat one of the donuts as well as the bagel sandwich. As I grab a napkin out of the sack, I see Donny put a nice note in the bottom of the bag. Hope you get to feeling better. I realize then he must know. Detective Knight probably told him when he walked the boys this morning. I should just start wearing a sign around my neck so then everyone knows, just in case I run into someone I met in the last two years. As I’m sitting at the table, I see the bag that was given to me at the hospital and find my cell phone tucked in the bottom. Of course, it’s dead, so after I finish eating, I plug it in next to my bed before jumping into the shower. I’m amazed by all the body washes I have and different scents, but I can’t help but feel like a stranger in my own home. Once I’m finished showering, I wrap a towel around my body and sit on the edge of my bed and start going through my text messages. If no one can tell me what I’m forgetting, I’ll have to find out on my own. I start with Courtney’s and scroll through hundreds of text messages about fertility and pedicures, and then I start seeing messages I’ve typed about Logan. Instantly, I close out of hers and go to his. He was the last person to text me two weeks ago, and apparently, we had lunch together that day. I scroll and scroll until I’m at the very beginning and reading it all takes my breath away. Blushing and laughing at some of my sad attempts to flirt and embarrassed when I see I sent him wrong messages…twice. Our text messages are playful and transfer into something more serious, more substantial, and my laughter is stifled as emotions roll through me. I know he meant something to me just by reading my words as foreign as they are. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Viola and Courtney wouldn’t give me details, but I found everything I needed. We loved and cared greatly for each other, and now, everything is erased. I can only hope it’s not forever.

CHAPTER THREE LOGAN It amazes me at how well Skylar swims for her age. You can really tell she loves the water by the way she never wants to get out. “C’mon, honey. We have to get going.” I hold the towel open for her, but she ignores me. There are other parents standing near me, all trying to get their children out of the kiddie pool they’re allowed to swim in once lessons are over. “Once Mary is in the water, it’s nearly impossible to get her out too,” a woman standing near me says. It takes me a moment to realize she’s speaking to me. I turn my face and look at her. She’s smiling wide at me, and she takes another step closer. “The trick is to pretend you’re leaving without them. Mary gets out as soon as she sees me walking out.” I raise my brows, wondering if that’s some kind of parenting tip I missed. “Somehow, I doubt that’s going to work on Skylar,” I say, looking back at her in the water. “She’s obsessed.” “Oh, Skylar’s yours?” The rise in her voice pulls me back to her face. “I’ve never seen you here before. I know your wife, Maggie.” She reaches her hand out for me to take. “I’m Heather. I met Maggie a few weeks ago.” I take her hand and shake it. “I’m Logan. Maggie and I share joint custody,” I tell her. “Maggie had to go into work early today, and I was off work.” “Ooh.” Her eyes widen at the realization that Maggie and I aren’t together. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She flashes what I assume is a smile that’s meant to be flirty and seductive, but comes across creepy and weird. “Perhaps I’ll see you here again sometime.” “Maybe.” I look back out at Skylar and am ready to beg her to get out so we can leave. I watch as she fakes leaving and tells Mary she’ll go back home without her. Just like she said, Mary takes the bait and starts crying as she runs after her mom. I’m not sure I want to use a scare tactic on my six-year-old. “Skylar, c’mon. Let’s get changed so we can go do something else,” I try and entice her, but she ignores me. She’s splashing around and keeps putting her head into the water. I raise my voice a little louder this time. “Skylar! It’s time to get out!” “No!” she screams back. I feel other parents’ eyes on me, secretly judging me and wondering why I’m here and not her mother. Maggie makes it all look so easy, but she’s had years of experience whereas I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m two seconds away from trying Heather’s method, but instead, I decide to try something else. I kick my shoes and socks off, roll up the bottom of my jeans, and march

into the two feet of water. “You can’t be in here!” Skylar shouts as soon as she sees me. “I warned you, kiddo. Let’s go.” I don’t give her time to disagree and wrap my arms around her and swing her over my shoulder. “Dad!” she screeches as I walk us out of the kiddie pool. All the moms standing around watch with wide eyes as I bend down to grab my shoes and her towel. I nod in their direction as their eyes follow me. “Good day, ladies.” The cold breeze hits me as soon as I open the locker room door. I set Skylar down and can tell how cold she is by the way she’s shivering and wrapping her arms around her little body. “Skylar…” is all I say when she narrows her eyes at me as if she’s thinking about throwing a fit. “Lift your arms,” I tell her and wrap the towel around her. “Let’s go.” Once Skylar is dried off and ready to leave, we head out. Heather stops me just before we exit. “You know, you could’ve slipped and broken both of your necks,” she scolds me as if she’s scolding a young kid. “Thanks for the memo,” I mutter, ignoring the way she stares at me. I grab Skylar’s hand and lead us out. “I don’t think she likes you, Daddy,” Skylar tells me. “Yeah, well I’m sure there’s a club she can join,” I mutter. Once we’re back at the house and Skylar has showered and dressed, she and Herman play in the backyard together. I text Maggie to let her know what happened just in case she’s friends with any of the other moms and they don’t give her the real story. Not that I really care or need to explain myself, but Maggie and I are on good terms for the first time in years, and for Skylar’s sake, I don’t want to jeopardize that. M: Don’t worry about it, Logan. Those moms all pretend to be Mom-of-the-Year when they’re all barely skating by without their bottles of wine and Prozac. I laugh, relieved that she isn’t upset. She knows Skylar can be stubborn, which she probably got from me in the first place. L: That’s a little terrifying, but makes me feel like less of a shitty parent at least. Do you mind if Skylar stays the night? I’m going to take her roller skating tomorrow afternoon, but I’ll bring her back before dinner. M: No that’d be great. That means I can sleep in at least. L: Okay perfect. We’ll be back around four then. Just as I set my phone down and was about to grab Skylar so we could walk to the park, my phone beeps with another message. I assume it’s Maggie, but my eyes widen in shock when I see Kayla’s name on my screen. I sit back down and open the text.

K: Hi, Detective Knight. It’s Kayla. I just wanted to say thank you for walking my dogs and taking care of them. Courtney told me that you’ve been feeding and checking on them and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. Also, I found some things here that I think are probably yours. Just let me know what works best for you to pick it all up, assuming you want to, I mean. Sorry, I’m rambling. I feel like you’re a stranger, yet I read all our messages and can clearly see that we weren’t. But I just wanted you to know I appreciate you doing what you did for my dogs. So thank you. I read her message twice because although she’s talking to me as Kayla—the girl who doesn’t remember anything about me—she also sounds just like my Kayla. The girl who rambles when she’s nervous, is overly sweet and kind, and yet is a little nervous around me. Even though I know those memories of us are gone, it doesn’t make it sting any less when she calls me Detective Knight. L: You’re welcome. I’d do anything for you and the dogs, Kayla. Please don’t hesitate to ask, okay? If you want to put the stuff in your mailbox, I can swing by and pick it up later. I want to give her space, without crowding her, but I also want to see her. I’m sure having my belongings there is as conflicting to her as it is to me. Taking it all back feels like the end of us is official. We can’t be together. K: You don’t have to avoid me, I mean, unless you want to. I know this is a really weird situation. It’s completely messed up actually. But you can come over. I don’t feel right shoving your things in my mailbox like they’re stale donuts. Her words make me smile like a fool. Feeling so relieved she’s not pushing me away like I was expecting, I text her back and gladly accept her invitation to come and grab my things. Even if it’s for a couple minutes, seeing her face-to-face will be worth it. L: I’m busy tonight, but I can swing by tomorrow afternoon. 4ish, okay? K: Works for me. See you then, Detective Knight. L: Call me Logan. Please. I can’t stop thinking about her. Skylar and I took Herman to the dog park and played for hours. Although they were both worn out, afterward we settled on the couch and watched a movie. No matter how busy I kept myself, Kayla was always front and center in my head. I know the doctor said there was a good chance she could get her memory back, but to prepare for her to still have confusion even if it comes back. Still, the “what ifs” linger in my mind about if she doesn’t get it back and what that’ll mean for us. Would she give me a chance to show her what we had? Or could we be friends and start again? Would we ever get that second chance or would she want to move on instead? The only thing that calms me is having Skylar next to me. She fell asleep an hour ago, but here I sit, watching Frozen all alone while letting my mind wander.

I want to text Kayla and remind her how much I love her. I want her to know how she’s the first girl I’ve allowed myself to be with in years and how much losing her will break me, but I can’t put that pressure on her. Fuck that. More like destroy me. The following morning, Skylar and I are up early taking Herman for a walk. She’s in a great mood, smiling and skipping as we head back inside the house. After breakfast, we get ready and then head to the skating rink. “Are you excited?” I ask as I tie up her laces. “Yeah! Are you going to skate, too, Daddy?” She looks up at me with a hopeful expression that makes it impossible to deny. I haven’t skated in years, but for her I’m willing to try. Two hours, four falls, and a meltdown later, we finally leave the skating rink. Skylar used a skate-gate to keep her from falling, but once she saw the other kids skating without one, she wanted to try without it. Let’s just say it didn’t go so well. “You’re a brave girl,” I tell her with a grin. “No more tears.” She squints her eyes and furrows her brows with a pouty frown. “I don’t want to go.” “Well, baby, we have to. Both of your knees are bruised and the rink is closing soon. Your mom will start to worry if I return you covered in bandages.” She groans as I undo her skates and drop them off at the counter. “C’mon. We’ll stop for ice cream on the way.” That makes her smile, and once again, she’s skipping back to the car. After a giant ice cream cone, we head back to Maggie’s. Once I’m in the driveway and parked, Skylar bolts out of the car and heads right inside the house. “Hey, Maggie,” I greet her while she stands at the door as Skylar runs inside without even a goodbye. “Hey,” she responds, her eyes following Skylar before returning to mine. “Sorry.” I bite my lip and hold back laughter. “She fell skating and ice cream was to cheer her up.” She tilts her head at me and purses her lips. “Thanks.” She chuckles lightly, knowing I was only trying to make Skylar happy. “Mom! Mom!” Skylar shouts. “Hold on, baby!” “Skylar, come say goodbye,” I shout. She runs back toward me and I kneel and kiss her. “You be good, okay?”

“If you’re not in a rush, you should stay for dinner,” Maggie says, taking me completely off guard. I stand back up and wait. “I followed a recipe online and I made way too much. So, if you’re hungry…” “Um…” I hesitate because I told Kayla I’d be at her place around four and I’m anxious as hell to see her. Before I can explain I have to be somewhere, Skylar starts yanking on my shirt. “Yeah, Daddy! Eat with us!” I look down and see her precious face. Her pleading eyes pull at my heartstrings, making it impossible to say no to her. “Sure, baby. I’d love to.”

KAYLA Oh my God. Why am I so nervous? Should I be this nervous? I don’t remember ever feeling like this with any other guy, so that must mean we really were a thing. According to Courtney, in love. Before Logan arrives, I decide to read through my messages with Lucy. Our conversations are hilarious, and I find myself laughing as I sit on the bed. She’s been at the firm since before I started and she quickly became my work bestie. I know she’ll want to hear from me. Instead of texting, I decide to call her. “Oh my God! Kayla?” she answers immediately. “Hey!” I say with a smile. Her voice instantly cheers me up. “I’m so happy to hear from you! I’ve been worried sick. Boss gave me an update this morning actually.” Listening to her chat makes me feel like no time has passed at all. “It’s been an insane week. I would’ve called sooner, but I was still processing everything.” I pause. “Well, I still am.” “So, you really don’t remember anything?” “Nothing from the last two years,” I confirm. “It’s weird. It’s like I woke up one day and I was sent back in time.” “Jesus, Kay. I’m so sorry. Do you think you’ll be coming back to work?” “Yeah, I figure I will next Monday. I mean, I have to try anyway. Work will keep me busy, and I have two years of files to read through.” “Don’t worry about your current clients. We’ve all split them and took them over so you wouldn’t have much to worry about when you came back. We’ll help you.”

“That means so much to me, Luce. Thank you.” “You’re my girl, Kay. I’ll help any way I can, okay? Don’t worry ‘bout a thing.” Before we hang up, she tells me to call anytime. I might take her up on it because just the thought of going back to work is already causing me anxiety. I wanted to ask her about the day the incident happened and if she remembers anything that could give me some insight about where I was and why, but the doctor cautioned I be careful about how much information I’m told. However, I’d rather hear it from someone close to me than not know at all. Lying back on my bed and staring up at the ceiling, I squeeze my eyes closed and try to think of the last thing I remember. Viola just had James. I held him in the hospital. Travis and Viola brought Ginny in and we all watched as she met her baby brother for the first time. He was born in early 2015, but I remember glimpses from Easter and the Fourth of July, but nothing solid. Travis and Viola weren’t married yet, but we’d been helping her plan the wedding for months. Frustrated, I give up and peel my eyes back open. My room is familiar, but some aspects feel foreign. My phone beeps and I see it’s a text from Logan. L: I’m going to be later than I thought. Do you mind? Or if you have plans, I can swing by tomorrow. Have plans? Right. The only plans I have are to stalk my social media profiles to try and figure out the last two years of my life. K: I’ll be home all night. Come anytime. L: Okay. I won’t be too long. Those butterflies resurface inside my belly when I read his messages. It doesn’t make any sense to me now, considering I’ve only spoken to him a handful of times and hardly know anything about him. Yet, my heart seems to remember. If that’s even possible. Logan texts me less than two hours later and lets me know he’s on his way over. I’ve tried to prepare myself for seeing him again, telling myself it’s no big deal, and that he’s only here to pick up his things—but my brain isn’t believing a word. The only memory I have of Logan Knight is seeing his gorgeous face the first time I woke up in the hospital. I mean, there definitely could’ve been worse views to wake up to, so I’m not complaining. I noticed the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, and touched me. When he realized I had no idea who he was, I could see how it destroyed him. It was as if I’d smashed his heart into millions of pieces. Moments later, he knocks on the door and the dogs go wild. They probably remember him better than I ever will.

“Hi,” I greet him, opening the door for him to come inside. He steps in and awkwardly stands next to me, opening his arm up as if he wants to hug me. “Sorry, habit.” He takes a step back, and I can see the sadness in his features. I hate that I’m the one making him feel that way. Even knowing nothing about him, I can tell what we had was special. “It’s fine. I don’t bite,” I tease. The corner of his lips tilts up in a knowing smirk, and it takes me a moment to figure out what he’s smiling about. Apparently, I do bite. “So, anyway,” I break the awkward tension and walk toward the table where I have a box of his things. “I found some of your clothes and a Christmas sweater.” I hand him the box and sadness rolls off him. “I found the picture of us wearing matching Christmas sweaters.” “Yeah, that was a fun night.” He smiles genuinely. “Even if you made me wear that horrible looking thing.” I chuckle, knowing he’s being sincere. The whole point of those sweaters is the uglier the better. It makes it fun. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you made it look good.” I feel the rush of heat swarm my cheeks as the words blurt out of my mouth. I hadn’t meant to say that aloud. “I bet you’re glad to be home, huh?” he asks, thankfully changing the subject. “Yes,” I say with relief. “It feels weird, though. Like I don’t recognize parts of my life, yet it feels familiar enough.” He watches me intently. “That probably makes no sense at all.” I laugh, nervously. “No, I get it.” He flashes a sincere smile. “Everything must feel so strange for you right now.” “It does, but I’m just glad to be home so I can try to get back to normal.” “You know I’ll help any way I can, right?” “Thank you, Logan.” I say his name aloud and feel those warm flutters again. I hate the empty feeling in my heart. Knowing from the messages and what the girls have already told me, I feel like I broke up with a guy who’s perfect for me. He smiles again, warming me all over, and just when I think he’s going to walk out, he sets the box down on the floor, takes a step toward me and wraps both arms tightly around me. “I know you don’t remember me, Angel, but just know I love you deeply and nothing will ever change that.” Tears begin to fill in my eyes at the softness of his voice and the gentle way he touches me. Never feeling the type of love I craved as a child, I don’t know how I could ever turn a man like this away. It’s no wonder I felt the way I did about him. And me not remembering who he is has to be torture for him.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Logan.” I nearly choke on my words as tears fall down my cheeks. I hate how confused and how torn I feel. It’s evident this situation is hurting him too. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before. “You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? This isn’t your fault,” he tells me, holding me tighter. “I should be the one apologizing to you.” “What? Why?” I pull away slightly to look into his eyes and I see they’re glossed over. He rubs his thumb along my cheek and wipes away a few stray tears. “I only want what’s best for you, and I know I should keep my distance while you get back in a routine. But I’m selfish. I wanted any reason at all to see or talk to you and imagining not being able to, made me crazy.” “You’re really sweet, aren’t you?” A weak smile forms on my lips. “I can see why I would’ve fallen for you.” He chuckles and the tension in the air fades. “The irony in this entire situation is that you chased me for months before we finally got together. Now I’m here like a lovesick puppy.” My eyes widen and I burst out laughing. “I chased you? I find that really hard to believe.” “What? I’m serious! It was a whole cat and mouse game. Except you were the cat and I was the scared little mouse.” I’m laughing so hard, it’s making my stomach cramp. “I don’t believe a word you say. The last guy I chased was Benjamin Bradley in the fourth grade. And the only reason I didn’t catch him was because my shoes were so torn, it hurt to run in them.” Sadness creeps over his face, and I wonder what I said to change his mood. “You’ve told me all about your childhood.” “I did?” My brows shoot up to the ceiling. I’ve never told anyone. Not even my closest friends. “Like everything?” He purses his lips and nods. “Everything.” If I trusted him enough to tell him about growing up in foster homes, I must’ve trusted him enough to tell him about the adoption. “Even Abby?” I ask. He blinks and slides his tongue over his bottom lip as if he’s contemplating his words before he speaks. “Um…” He swallows and takes a step back. I’m starting to notice he does that when he’s nervous. “Actually, no. You’ve never mentioned Abby.” Guilt radiates through me as I try and think about why I would’ve kept that part of my life a secret from him if I was comfortable to tell him everything else. But perhaps it was one less reason for him to feel sorry for me. I imagine the way he must’ve looked at me when he found out about my childhood. I’m sure it’s the pity look everyone has given me. I don’t know if I could’ve bared the look he would’ve given me when I told him about Abby. It’s a look, I imagine, that would’ve changed everything between us.

CHAPTER FOUR LOGAN We stand in silence for a moment, and I secretly hope she magically remembers everything. I imagine pulling her into my arms and telling her how much I love her as I kiss away her sadness. But as she looks up at me without that spark in her eyes, I know it’s not an option. There’s an old saying that states, if you love something let it go and if it comes back—it’s yours. Will my Angel ever come back to me? Kayla’s eyes meet mine and I take a step back, adding more space between us because being this close is dangerous. I have every part of her memorized, from her lips down to her toes. The smell of her skin surrounding me tests my willpower. She may have forgotten us, but I never will. When Kayla is concentrating on something, she sometimes gets quiet and fidgets. As we stand in silence, I know she’s thinking about this Abby person. I want to pry. I want to ask her questions about it, but she’ll tell me when she’s ready. There’s a reason why she never talked about it before, and I’ll always respect her privacy. My Angel has been through more than I could ever imagine, and I don’t want her to open wounds that are closed. It’s not fair to her. I give her a smile and she smiles back, slightly relaxing her shoulders. “How long have we officially been together?” she asks, changing the subject away from Abby. I’m grateful she did before it became any more awkward between us. Thinking about her question, I hesitate. “I’m not supposed to give you information. Doctors orders.” Letting out a frustrated sigh, she walks to the living room and plops down on the couch. “I know. I’ve been warned.” “This has to be extremely hard for you. It’s really hard for me too.” As I sit next to her, she stills at our closeness, but I stay regardless. Kayla looks over at me with her big brown eyes. “Can we still be friends? Or I guess, start to be friends?” I know what she means, but it doesn’t hurt any less. I’d rather be in her life as her friend than not at all, so I’ll take what I can get. “Of course. We were friends before we started dating,” I tell her, knowing she doesn’t remember any of that either. “I considered you one of my best friends,” I say honestly, but she doesn’t look over at me. “Is it going to be too awkward for you? Like when you break up with someone and they ask to be friends afterward? That’s what it feels like to me, but without all the memories, ya know?” she says truthfully. We sit staring at the wall with all her photos splashed across it in frames, and it gives me time to think of the right words. “I’ll let you make the decision. If it’s too much for

you, I’ll understand.” Kayla places her hand on my leg and it’s the first time she’s willingly touched me. Fire burns through me, and I wonder if she can feel it, too. “Friends, then?” She raises her eyebrows, then smiles. It hurts my heart, and I almost feel like I’m mourning the loss of someone I loved dearly though she’s sitting right next to me. For her sake, I force a smile. “Friends.” The walls that Kayla tore down so easily begin to slowly build themselves up again. Everything is closing tight around me, and if I can’t have her, I don’t want anyone. This is my new reality. It’s quiet and awkward, and though it’s barely dark, Kayla begins yawning. I know that’s my cue to go, and she doesn’t ask me to stay, so I stand. She’s had a long few weeks, and I’m sure she’s exhausted. Grabbing my small box of things she rounded up, I walk to the door and she follows behind me. “Hey,” she calls, and I turn and meet her eyes. “Do you happen to have a dog?” I look at her, searching her face, wondering if she’s remembering Herman. “…because if not, I bet there’s one down at the shelter I volunteer at that’d be perfect for you. You just seem like a dog person.” I just smile at her and almost laugh, because though she doesn’t remember much of anything, she’s still trying to pawn animals on me like the doggy dealer she’s known for being. “You’re cute,” I tell her before I walk to my car, and that small glimmer of hope I had fades quickly. The sun isn’t even awake, and I’m up peeling my eyelids open. Today is my first day back to work in almost three weeks and dread covers me during the drive to the station. I’m not in the mood for bullshit or small talk today. The goal is to get my work done and leave, but once I’m inside, I realize I won’t be that lucky. As soon as I sit down at my desk and start rummaging through emails, Chief Royal walks in and immediately starts giving me a hard time. “Everything good?” he asks firmly, sitting directly in front of my desk in the empty chair. His body barely fits in it because he’s a big man, but he stays put regardless of how uncomfortable it looks. “Doing good. Can I help you?” I know I’m being short, but I don’t care. He stares me down for a long minute as if he has more to say. Intimidation tactics don’t work on me. The military made me immune to that sort of bullshit. Royal lifts an eyebrow. “I can see you’re busy. I’ll come back at a later time.” “Perfect.” I continue staring at my computer. Reverse psychology doesn’t work on me either. I won’t beg him to tell me what’s on his mind. Without responding, he gets up and lets himself out.

Moments later, Brantley storms through my door with sweat over his brow. “He knows. He has to know his daughter is involved.” I look up at him and then back at my computer screen, unamused. “You’re not worried about this, are you?” Brantley runs his fingers through his hair and sits, allowing his nerves to get the best of him. “Nope. I have bigger things to worry about that actually affect my life. I’m doing my job and there’s nothing illegal about that,” I say matter-of-factly. “Well then, let me catch you up on what’s been going on…” I stop typing and focus on Brantley as he explains how eerily quiet it’s been. “The delivery never happened.” He pauses, then continues when I don’t have a response. “I have private investigators watching the place around the clock, but it’s been a normal neighborhood ever since…” He lingers, not finishing his sentence. “Maybe they moved locations? Have you checked public records to make sure that family doesn’t have another house registered somewhere in the state? I’d start with his wife’s name.” It’s as if a light bulb went off in his head. “This is why I need you here.” Brantley gets up and rushes out as if he has a purpose again. There are many questions I still don’t have answers to. Why was Kayla at that house? What was she doing? Too many times have I thought back to the moment I spotted her in that driveway and wished I could’ve told her to leave immediately. If I would’ve been quick enough with my text, maybe she would’ve listened and left without questions. A warning text could’ve possibly stopped the entire situation, and I’d have my girlfriend right now, not a person who wears her face and treats me like a stranger. There aren’t many things in my life I regret, but that’s definitely one of them. The day passes quickly, and as I’m packing my laptop and other case files that need reviewed, Brantley comes rushing through the door with a huge smile on his face. He sets a piece of paper down on my desk, and I look down and see an address scribbled across it. “You’re a genius, and I want to kiss you.” I smile. “I’d rather you keep those lips to yourself. What did you find?” “They have another house registered on the west side of town. Not in the best neighborhood either. We may be onto something.” “Great. I’d have the private investigator go check it out. If they see any activity, we’ll schedule a stakeout.” I throw my laptop bag over my shoulder and walk toward the door. “I still want to kiss you!” Brantley yells down the hallway, and all I can do is shake my head.

KAYLA

A week passes, and I finally feel like my life is getting back to normal—rather, my new normal. Once I’m back home after taking the boys to Donny’s, I jump in the shower then get dressed for work. I’m extremely nervous to go to another place I’ll feel lost in, but luckily, I’ll have Lucy on my side guiding me. Lucy filled me in on my high-profile clients, and I’m amazed at all the things I’ve accomplished in so little time. Apparently, I’m kind of a big deal, which is surprising, but also puts unnecessary pressure on me. Living up to the standards and the expectations you set, when you can’t remember what they are, is hard. During the drive over, all I can think about is relearning two years of my professional life. It makes me feel uneasy, but I’m up for the challenge. As soon as I walk in, I’m bombarded by a majority of people I don’t remember. Before I become completely overwhelmed, Lucy pulls me away to my office. “Sorry about that,” she says with a laugh. “I needed coffee.” “You should probably give me a rundown of who everyone is. I only recognized a few people.” I’m a tad frustrated, and I know she can tell. “We can do a walk around. No problem. But most of them are annoying, suck at their jobs, or are kiss asses.” “So different faces, same scenario,” I say sitting at my desk and go through the drawers for clues of my life. “Precisely.” She’s looking at me like I’m a stranger and it makes me feel a tad awkward, but I’m trying to get used to it. “What?” I ask with a laugh. “I don’t have a third eye.” “I’m sorry, I know. It’s just hard for me to imagine two years being gone and what you’re thinking. I’m just glad you’re okay. I missed my partner in crime. I’ve had zero people to gossip with about dickwad Huffman.” “Huffman?” I ask confused. “Oh. Yeah. Huffman is our boss,” Lucy says sitting on the corner of my desk. “I’m sorry you have to experience finding that out again.” Two years ago, Huffman wasn’t our boss; he was only an account manager, and not the best one at that. “I seriously can’t believe this. He’s such a—” “A what?” Huffman interrupts, leaning against the door. Swallowing my words down, I suck in a deep breath. “Happy to have you back, Sinclair.” The tone in his voice is borderline sarcastic, which slightly rubs me the wrong way. “Have you always called me Sinclair like that? Because I don’t particularly like it,” I tell him matter-of-factly. The stiffness of his body language and the look on his face makes him come off as an asshole, and I don’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Looking at me with wide eyes, his face turns blood red. I glance over at Lucy, silently questioning if this is a normal occurrence. Lifting her eyebrows, she gives me a small nod.

She wants to say something, but doesn’t because Huffman is staring at me with pure disdain on his face. “I’m just being truthful.” Regardless of how pissed Huffman acts, I don’t apologize for my words because I’m not sorry. After he storms out, Lucy bursts out laughing. “You’ve never stood up to him before. I mean, I’ve known for years that you’ve cringed when he’s called you that, but you never said anything. You just took it.” She is cracking up. “Did you see the look on his face? I thought he might cry!” “I’m a new person,” I say with a wink. “I guess.” “Well, I like the new you, Kay. No one else stands up to him, so I suppose you’ll give him a run for his money.” “If he keeps treating me like a giant turd, I will,” I tell her just as I see a card from a bouquet of flowers on my top drawer. Opening it up, I read the handwritten message and see it’s from Logan. Apparently, he’d sent me flowers and chocolate. I sit there for a moment studying it while Lucy watches me. “You don’t remember him?” she asks with a soft voice. “Not at all,” I say. “And it’s hard. Really hard. Especially when he’s been so amazing, sweet, charming, and has gone out of his way for me. It sucks.” She looks at me with sad eyes, the same expression I’ve been so used to over the years. It’s the same type of pity I received when people found out I was in foster care, and I hate it. Quickly, Lucy changes the subject back to work. She pulls out files, photographs, and income statements before walking me through it all. I’m shown countless pictures of different interior designing I’ve done on solo projects and houses I’ve staged. A black binder is full of business cards from contractors I’ve used in the past to help with remodels if necessary. To say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement. “I did all of this?” I ask her again, just to make sure I’m still on the same page. “You’re the number one interior designer at this firm. You have the most high-profile clients. Hell, you could probably break off and do you own thing and take this place out of business. And I’m not even kidding, Kay. You are the best of the best.” “Was. I was the best of the best,” I remind her. Lucy searches my face and puts all kidding aside. “It’s all still in you somewhere. This stuff comes so naturally that you barely have to try. You are the best of the best. And once you get back in the groove, you’ll prove me right.” “I hope you know what you’re talking about; otherwise, I’ll be a giant disappointment to everyone.” By the time I get home from work, I’m so tired that I just want to hop in the bathtub with a bath bomb then go to bed. It was exhausting trying to cram everything in, and I’m still hoping that I go to sleep and wake up with my memory back. It would make my

whole life easier, but nothing in my life has ever been easy. Luckily, I’ll be shadowing Lucy for the next month, but that still doesn’t fill in all the blank spaces. I take the dogs for a walk and pop a frozen dinner in the microwave. Though it’s not a gourmet meal, it does the job, and it’s better than hospital food on a good day. Sitting at the kitchen table, I scroll through my phone again, rereading the messages between Logan and me the week of the accident. If I chased him for two years, there’s bound to be a good reason. He’s sexy as hell, and I can’t deny the attraction I have for him. When I’m around him, I feel something stirring inside, and I know that’s not for nothing. I may not remember, but God I want to. A few minutes pass and I finally get the courage to text him. K: Do you believe in second chances? I wait for a few minutes, and after getting no reply, I start to worry I’ve overstepped the boundaries. It could be too painful for him to talk to me, and I should leave it alone, but it doesn’t feel right. My mind may not remember, but my heart is telling me I should. L: After everything I’ve been through, I do. K: I’d like to start over. Make new memories. Get to know you…again. L: That’s music to my ears, Angel.

CHAPTER FIVE LOGAN As soon as I see a message pop up from Kayla, I read it immediately. And then I read it over and over again because I’m not sure I can trust my eyes. The scenarios that rippled through my mind were preparing me to lose Kayla forever. She woke up to a stranger, and when she said she wanted to be friends, I figured she was just throwing me a bone because she could see the pathetic look all over my face. But it’s been a week since then so her message catches me completely off guard. But makes me happy nevertheless. I’d do anything she asks me, even if it means starting over. K: I know you’re not supposed to answer my questions, but I’ve been looking through text messages and Facebook posts, and I need some clarifying on some things. Do you think we could go for a walk or something and talk? If it’s an inconvenience, please don’t feel obligated. I know I’m asking a lot from you. I wish she knew how much in love with her I am and that she’d never be asking too much from me, but I have to get that mindset out of my head. Kayla isn’t the girl she was just a few weeks ago, and I can’t be the guy I was then either. I have to remind myself that we’re starting over, completely fresh. L: I was planning on sunbathing in my backyard in my new speedo, but I suppose I could go for a walk. Where do you want to meet? K: Well now that I’m picturing you in a speedo… I laugh at her words, smiling and shaking my head. This feels more like Kayla. L: You want to go skinny-dipping instead? K: Oh my God! LOL… well, it’s not the weirdest invitation I’ve ever had. L: Now I’ll need to hear that story. I’ll be there in 10 to pick you up. K: Okay, Detective. I’ll be ready. My heart races at the word Detective. She probably saw it in our many messages together, but in some strange way, it gives me hope. Before leaving, I let Herman out once more and think about when a good time to bring him up to her will be. That’s a whole story in itself. In fact, I’m sure she has a lot of questions from the text messages we sent over the past two years. “Hey,” she greets me at the door before I even knock. “Hi,” I say with a smile. “How’s it going?” “That depends…” Her response catches me off guard, and I narrow my eyes at her in question.

She walks out onto the porch and closes the door behind her. I follow her down the steps and we begin our walk. “Did I really send you a text message about my bleeding uterus and wanting to eat a glazed donut off your dick?” My brows shoot up, shocked by her random question. I nearly choke on my own saliva as I remember the details clear as day. Swallowing hard, I try to hide the laughter threatening to release and pretend to clear my throat in an effort to keep a straight face. “I take that as a yes…” Her cheeks redden, and it’s adorable watching her get embarrassed around me again. “Oh my God. Why did you even keep talking to me after that? You must’ve thought I was a complete psycho.” “On the contrary. It’s what made me fall for you in the first place.” I smile, remembering all those early memories between us. They’re still so fresh in my mind, I can’t help the ache I feel knowing she doesn’t remember them. “Well now that I got the hard part out of the way,” she says with a nervous laugh, “am I allowed to ask who Herman is?” I turn and study her expression. I know I’m not supposed to tell her things that might confuse her later, but I hate the defeated look on her face. She looks lost, and she’s only looking for answers to piece her life back together. “He’s my dog,” I tell her, figuring that much can’t be harmful to her. She pauses and reaches for my arm to stop me. “Wait. You have a dog?” I nod. “I knew you were a dog person!” She laughs. “What kind of dog is he?” she asks as we continue walking. I don’t know where we’re walking, but I don’t even care. It doesn’t matter. “I don’t know. A mutt, I guess.” “In one of the text messages, I asked if I could come over and see Herman,” she says, as if she’s trying to piece it together. “That was before you and I were…official?” I nod again. “So, was Herman my wingman? Gave me a reason to come over?” She drops her head as if she’s embarrassed with herself. I smile, holding back laughter because she’s blushing once again. “Not exactly,” I tell her, reassuring her there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. “He was a rescue.” Looking back up, I watch as her eyes shift back and forth as if she’s trying to figure it out. “You adopted a rescue. I asked to come over and see him before we were dating. I’ve been volunteering at the shelter for years, which means I probably urged you to adopt him.” She turns and stops once again. “Am I right?” Her tone sounds so hopeful and she’s damn close. The whole stealing him and almost getting killed by the owner is probably something I should leave out.

“Yup.” She raises a fist in the air and shouts, “Victory!” When she laughs, it’s so contagious that I start laughing, too. “I bet the girls at the shelter are wondering where the hell I’ve been,” she says softly as we begin walking again. “And Delores. I went to the soup kitchen almost every week.” “I know.” She glances over at me and frowns. “Of course, you do. You know everything about me and I know…” she pauses as she thinks for a moment. “Hot detective, dog owner, kind heart.” I blink and glance over at her, wondering where that came from. This feels like déjà vu, yet it doesn’t. It’s not the same. It’ll never be the same. “Anything else I should add to your resume?” she questions. Unsure if I should mention Skylar or not, I decide I’d rather be the one to tell her than her hearing it from someone else. “I have a daughter,” I blurt out and wait for her response. “I share custody with her mother.” “Seriously?” She furrows her brows as if she’s questioning if she heard me right. “A hot, single dad who loves dogs and wears a uniform. How were you ever single?” she teases. I laugh and brush a hand over my jawline. “That’s a story for another day.” “Okay. Fair enough.” She chuckles. “Anything else I can know about you?” I know she’s trying to get to know me the way I know her, so I don’t hesitate even though I’m not supposed to. I don’t believe it’ll do her any harm. “Well, before I was a detective and police officer, I spent four years in the military.” Her eyes widen as if her mind is in overdrive. “Okay, seriously. How were you ever single?” I crack a smile at her flattery. “Things were complicated.” She rolls her eyes. “Said every guy ever that doesn’t want to talk about it.” She glances over at me and smiles. “Got it.” “It’s not a pleasant story. You’re not missing anything,” I reassure her, although she already knows this part of my past, I don’t see why either of us have to relive that. “Well, at least from the messages I read through,” she continues, “you could be a complete freak for all I know. A freak with a fetish or something. Oh my God,” she says with a laugh. “Do you have a weird foot fetish or anything I should be aware of?” “Definitely not.” “Oh, thank God.” She presses a palm to her chest, pretending to be relieved.

“You’re the one with the fetish,” I tease, knowing that’ll make her blush again. “With donuts, actually.” She turns and faces me; her eyes widen and her full lips curl up into a smile. I can’t keep a straight face any longer and burst out laughing at her expression. “I knew there was something you weren’t telling me,” she squeals, playfully hitting my arm. “That must be why you brought me donuts in the hospital.” “No,” I correct her. “I brought you donuts because I know they’re your favorite.” She narrows her eyes and I can tell she’s thinking about something. “So, wait. What about the cream-filled donut then?” Now my cheeks are the ones reddening at the casual way she asks. “I’m pleading the fifth.” We must’ve walked around for over an hour, just talking and laughing with each other. It feels good. Too good actually. I’ve had to remind myself several times that we’re only friends now. As hard as that is to admit, I’d rather have that part of her than none at all, so I’m taking it all in as much as I can. “Thank you for talking to me and answering some of the questions that were burning through my mind.” “Anytime.” We stand near my car, and I can tell she’s hesitating. “I’d invite you in but I have two years worth of client files to study and relearn.” She waves a hand toward the house and I can tell she’s already stressing out about work. “It’s no problem. I should probably go let Herman out anyway.” We stand awkwardly, and when I try to lean in for a hug, she shifts slightly and we do this weird side to side dance before our bodies collide. It feels so good to hold her in my arms, but when the floral scent of her shampoo hits me, all the feelings I have for her rush back. As much as I’m trying to be what she needs right now, it’s a fighting battle I’m not sure I’ll win. Once I’m back home and have let Herman out, I decide to call it an early night just as I get a message from Drew. D: Travis and I escaped. Meet us at Good Times before the National Guard is called on us. I laugh at his choice of words. I know they both love their wives, but they both work so much, and between Travis and Viola’s three kids keeping them busy, and Courtney and Drew trying to make a baby every night, I don’t see them as much anymore. L: Sure, I’ll be there in 10. I know they’re going to ask for an update about Kayla, and although we just had a pretty good evening together, I’m not even sure what to tell them. We’re friends? We’re just hanging out? Seeing where it goes? I’m madly in love with a girl who doesn’t remember anything about me?

All of the above? By the time I arrive at Good Times, Drew and Travis have had a few beers. I can tell immediately by the way they greet me as soon as I walk in. “Aye!” “Logan! My man!” “Jesus, you two shit-faced already?” I ask, sliding onto the barstool next to Drew. “We might’ve gotten a little carried away when the ladies set us free,” Travis admits, bringing a glass up to his lips and taking a long sip. “I can see that.” I chuckle, waving the bartender my way. “What can I get you, sweetheart?” she asks in a thick Boston accent, her blonde hair falling loosely down her shoulders as she leans over the bar. It’s obvious she’s trying to score a big tip. “Just bring me a Jack and Coke, please.” I smile, sliding a ten-dollar bill across the bar. She happily grabs it with a wink. “Going straight for the hard stuff.” Travis grins, and I flash him a warning look. “Well, I can see you haven’t lost your game,” Drew teases, elbowing my ribs. “She barely glanced over at us.” “That’s because she probably has a married radar or something. She knows she’ll get bigger tips with single guys,” I explain. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.” Travis rolls his eyes. The bartender comes back home, handing me my drink and change. “There you go, sweetie.” She winks again before stepping away to the next person. “So how are things going with Kayla?” Drew goes straight for the jugular. Travis looks over at me, both anticipating my answer. I sigh, taking a long sip and contemplate how to answer. “We’re…friends.” “Friends?” Drew arches a brow. “With benefits?” Travis smirks. “Dude. No.” I take another sip. “We basically just met. Again.” “That’s so crazy about her memory. I can’t wrap my brain around it.” Travis shakes his head. “Yeah, you’re telling me. She read through all of our text messages and Facebook posts and has been asking me questions.” “I thought we aren’t supposed to tell her stuff she doesn’t remember?” Travis asks. “We’re not, but some things are hard to keep from her. Especially when she reads the intimate messages we sent to each other. I’m not going to lie to her,” I explain.

“I know Courtney’s been helping her work through some stuff she’s confused on, so I don’t see the harm as long as you aren’t giving her a play-by-play.” Drew shrugs, waving his empty beer bottle in the air for the bartender to give him another. “Listen, you’re getting a little rowdy over here. Am I going to have to cut you boys off?” she flirts, licking her bottom lip. I chuckle at Drew’s expression as if he’s stuck between flirting back or setting her straight. He’d never hit on another girl behind Courtney’s back, but he’s also not a jerk to completely dismiss another person. “Nah. My wife likes it when I come home a little tipsy. She says it makes it easier for her to get what she wants.” The corner of his lips curve into a smirk, knowing he set her straight while not being a complete asshole. I shake my head and laugh as the bartender purses her lips and hands him another beer. “And they say chivalry is dead.” I watch as Travis nearly dies of laughter. “So, do you think your friendship will turn to a relationship again?” Drew happily changes the subject back to me. “Well, that’s what I’m hoping, but I honestly don’t know. I’m not pushing anything. Whatever Kayla is comfortable with is the only speed I’m going at right now. It was a little weird at first, but I think we’re breaking through that first awkward phase. She can tell through our messages that what we had was real and that she had feelings for me, but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries and freak her out. So whatever pace she’s happy with is what I’ll keep to until she shows me she wants more. If she ever wants more, that is.” “Dude, I’m sorry.” Drew places his hand on my shoulder. “I know this can’t be easy for you.” “It’s not even me I’m most worried about. It’s her. I just want her to be happy. Even if that means it’s not with me.”

KAYLA Going on a walk with Logan helped immensely. I hate having so many questions and holes in my memory, but having Logan on my side helps lessen the blow of reality. Over the last few days, Logan and I have talked a little through text messages. He’d check up on me and ask if I needed anything, and I’d text him if any more questions came to mind that he could answer. It’s weird, but I feel this bond with him that I’ve never felt with anyone before. Knowing we were intimate together and that he knows so much more about me than I do him, it weighs heavily on my mind. I want to remember. I want to feel what he feels. In my own skin, I feel like a burden, and I’m getting lost every time I try to crawl out. Work has been the biggest pain in my ass since this whole thing. Lucy’s been so kind and patient with me, but Huffman is making it hard to keep my mouth shut. He has zero sympathy that I’m essentially starting over, and a part of me wonders if he’s hoping I’ll

just quit. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of getting to me, I make sure to smile as much as possible when he’s around. I know it’s driving him insane by the way he avoids eye contact with me anytime we’re in the same room together. Even though I don’t recall the last two years working here, I’m trying to figure out why I liked this job. The first year I hustled to make a name for myself, and from what I hear, it paid off in the last two years I’ve worked here. However, now that I’m seeing everything from a completely different perspective, I’m wondering if it’s all been worth it or not. I love decorating and creating something new, but I don’t think it’s my lifelong passion. Not when I’d rather be at the shelter or volunteering at the soup kitchen, making a difference in the lives of others. By the time Friday evening arrives, I’m so ready to have a glass of wine and relax with the pups. Viola invites me and Courtney over for girls’ night in, but I just don’t have the energy. The fact that Viola has three kids and Courtney and Drew are married still blows my mind. I feel so disconnected from them, and though we’ve been friends since college, it doesn’t feel right. C: Are you sure you don’t want to come over? I’ll bring the junk food! K: Thanks, but no. Maybe another night? Going back to work this week really burnt me out. But tell Viola and the kids I’ll see them again soon! Mwah! C: Okay, will do. I’m here if you need to talk, okay? K: I know. Thanks :) Guilt consumes me when I read over her messages again. I’m pushing them away and they don’t deserve it at all, but I need time to get my head straight. Instead of allowing my faults to consume me, I decide to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation because it’ll give me a much-needed mood booster. Memory loss or not, Chevy Chase will always be my sanctuary. Somewhere between the dry turkey being carved and midnight, I fall asleep but am brutally woken up by Adam vomiting everywhere. “Oh, sweet Jesus…” I groan when I see the three piles on the living room floor that lead to two more piles in the kitchen. “What happened, Adam?” He looks extremely dehydrated, which, considering he just threw up five times, would be enough to make him that way. His ears are pulled back and he’s dry heaving. “You poor thing.” I rub his head. “C’mon. Let’s get you some water.” I add ice cubes to his water because I know he likes it cold. He takes a few sips, but is too weak to stay standing. He rests on the floor while Philip and Kristoff lie next to him. Kristoff pokes his little nose at Adam, his way of asking if he’s going to be all right. The smell is awful and quickly fills the house. Nearly gagging, I rush to open the windows to vent the house out, but it’s not enough. The five piles need to be cleaned up, the floor scrubbed and sanitized. Just as I’m finishing cleaning up, Adam starts dry heaving again, and I rush to open the door just in time for him to vomit outside. He’s never been sick like this before, and

I’m starting to get really worried about him. “I think we’re going to have to get you checked out, buddy.” I look at the clock and see it’s almost two in the morning. The only place open at this hour would be an emergency vet clinic, which I’ve never had to take my dogs to before, but I know of a few good ones from working at the shelter. Wyatt Animal Village is just down the road and they’re open late. It may cost half my savings, but I can’t risk Adam getting any worse. “C’mon, buddy. Let’s go see the doctor and make sure you’re okay.” I smile at him and attach his leash. “You two be good, all right?” I say to Kristoff and Philip, knowing they’re concerned about their little friend. I call the clinic on my way there to give them a heads up we’re coming. I’m told they can get him right in. The vet assistant is sweet and polite and reassures me they’ll take good care of Adam, which keeps me calm while they lead him into the back. Less than five minutes later, I’m brought to the exam room where Adam’s waiting for me. “Dr. Wyatt will be in to ask you some questions,” the vet assistant tells me. Adam is resting on the cool floor by my feet while I pet his head. When I hear the door creak open, I look up. “Hello, I’m Dr. Wyatt. Who do we have here?” His voice is deep, but calm, and when my eyes meet his, the sight of him nearly takes the words right out of my mouth. “Hi, um…” I blink. “This is Adam.” “Kayla?” he asks with surprise in his tone. “Yeah?” “Nothing, I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all.” He sits on the small swivel chair by the computer. “You are?” I narrow my brows, officially confused by his reaction. “I assumed by the way you ended things, you wouldn’t want to see me again.” Wait. What? “I’m sorry?” My eyebrows shoot up, wishing I knew what he’s talking about. “Well, after our first date, you never responded to my text messages or answered my calls. I just assumed you weren’t interested anymore.” I don’t know what’s more confusing. The fact I went out on a date with this guy or that I never called him back? He’s freaking gorgeous. But when could’ve that even happened? Before Logan? “I’m sorry, Dr. Wyatt, but I don’t remember you.” “Oh.” He pinches his lips together as if he doesn’t believe me. “No, seriously. I have no recollection of you or our date. I—”

“You don’t have to pretend to not know me, Kayla. I’m an adult. I can take rejection. Don’t have to lie to protect my feelings,” he tells me, interrupting before I can finish. “I swear I’m not. I was in the hospital until this past Monday and don’t recall anything from the past two years.” He looks at me, skeptical, as if he’s trying to read my face to see if I’m lying. Guess I should probably get used to that. “Are you serious?” I nod. “I smacked my head pretty hard on some cement and the last two years are just…gone.” I shrug, knowing how crazy it sounds. “Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that.” He combs his fingers through his hair. “Now I feel like the world’s biggest jackass.” I chuckle, relieved that he believes me. “No, don’t. I wouldn’t believe me either. It’s completely fucked up my life.” “I can imagine. So…what’s the last time you remember?” “About mid-year of 2015. My friends got married that fall, and after I woke up, I had no idea they’d gotten married. Or that another friend started dating someone and got married too. Or that one of them had more kids. Seriously, I woke up and thought I was dreaming.” “I can’t even imagine. Jesus. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” “Please, don’t be sorry. The doctors are optimistic it’ll return eventually, but no one can be certain. I might not ever get it back or it could come back out of nowhere a year from now.” I shrug, wishing I could know for sure if and when it will ever come back. This is so damn frustrating. Dr. Wyatt checks Adam over and we continue talking in between the questions he asks about him. When it started, what he’s been eating, what the vomit looked like. A real conversation starter. “I’d like to keep him for twenty-four hours for observation and see if he can eat without vomiting before I rule anything out. We’ll take some blood and continue to monitor his stats, and then we can see if it’s a virus or something worse.” “Worse?” “He could’ve ingested something that’s harmful and the toxins could be working itself out. We won’t know until we get some of the results back.” I nod and pet Adam, hoping to comfort him as the vet assistant comes back in and prepares to take him for blood work. “Thank you so much, Dr. Wyatt. I can’t tell you how appreciative I am. Adam is my baby,” I say, with a dorky smile. Most people might not understand my love for my fur babies, but I can tell he does. “Please, call me Christian.” He winks, and I have a feeling he’s told me that before.

“Okay, I will.” I smile. I leave with some paperwork and his card. He’s going to call and give me an update as soon as he can. I still can’t get it out of my head that we’ve met before and even went on a date. One of the girls must have information about this, and I’ll pin them down until they spill their guts if I have to. I can’t stand not knowing. Once I return home, I immediately get the chills. I walk up the front porch and realize I left the windows open from earlier when I was trying to vent out the stench. Except the window by the door has the screen completely ripped off.

CHAPTER SIX LOGAN I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, which is what instinctively wakes me. My throat is dry, and I lean over and grab a bottle of water by my nightstand. Sweat covers my body and I try to blink away the nightmares. Since Kayla’s accident, they’ve started up again. Before then, they’d gone away, as if she were my guardian angel against them. Using the breathing techniques my doctor gave me, I try counting to ten, then twenty, until I’m over a hundred. As I lie awake, the memories of Kayla and I together flood in at the most inopportune times and exhaustion is starting to get the best of me. Hours pass as I stare at the ceiling, which has become a regular occurrence. The warm blue hues from the full moon bleed across the floor, and I know it’s early morning. I try to roll over and grab my phone, but Herman quickly fell back asleep and is leaning against me with all his body weight, so I give up. Closing my eyes, I almost drift asleep until my phone starts ringing. Herman jumps off the bed, and when I reach over to grab my cell, I see Kayla’s name flash across the screen. “Logan…” she says. Fear builds behind her shaky voice. “What’s going on?” I try to keep calm though I feel panic soar through me. Standing, I rush and put on some jeans and look for a T-shirt before slipping on my shoes. Although I don’t know what’s wrong, I do know Kayla well enough to understand when something’s not right. She’s trying to hold back her emotions as she speaks. “Something isn’t right. I just got home and the screen from my window has been pulled off. I can hear the dogs barking, but I’m afraid to go in.” It all feels like déjà vu when she says someone broke into her house, but I can’t help but wonder why she’s out this late. A sinking feeling overcomes me from the inside out. Is it possible she was on a date? That she moved on? I look at the clock and it’s nearly three in the morning. “Get in your car and lock the door. I’m on my way there.” I don’t hesitate. We stay on the phone together until I’m pulling into her driveway. Kayla gets out of her car and runs toward me and just by the look on her face, I know she’s frightened. Before she says a word, I see the window screen on the ground. “Did you call the police?” I turn and search her face and she shakes her head. It feels like we’re replaying different moments from our past. Walking up the steps, I punch the key code into her door and walk through the house, checking each room as Kayla follows behind me. Kristoff and Philip run up to me, wagging their tails, but I know something is off. When I turn to ask her a question, Kayla is standing at the fridge with her hand covered over her mouth holding a piece of paper. I walk toward her, and with a shaky hand, she gives it to me. I want my fucking dog or next time I’m taking one of yours. “What does this mean?” she asks, worry written on her face.

“Can you open the security camera app that’s on your phone and let me see?” Kayla hands it over without asking any questions. Finding the app that’s linked to her security cameras, she logs in with her thumbprint. We watch the replays from the last few hours. First Kayla leaves with Adam, and thirty minutes later Herman’s previous owner rips the screen off her window and throws it to the ground. Struggling, the asshole proceeds to climb through the window. I glance over and Kayla covers her mouth with her hands again, visibly upset and confused. “Kay,” I say softly and guide her to the living room where we sit on the couch. “I’ve got some things to explain to you. I know the rules. I know I’m not supposed to feed you memories, but this is for your safety.” “Okay,” she says meekly. I give her a small smile trying to find my words. “I’m not sure where to start exactly.” “From the beginning…please.” In depth, I explain the past with Herman’s owner. For a moment, I think recognition flashes in her eyes, but when she looks back at me, it’s evident she doesn’t remember any of it. “Oh my God, Logan,” Kayla says, sitting on the edge of her seat. “I guess we got out of there okay considering we’re here in one piece.” “Barely. But you weren’t leaving without Herman. You made that very clear. Long story short, you stole that dog and I helped. After we returned here, Herman was really sick, and you were worried for him so…” I hesitate, wondering if I should mention Mr. Perfect or not. “What was wrong with him?” She looks worried all over again. Smiling, I nod because though she doesn’t remember Herman, still to this day she’s concerned about him. “We brought him to the vet to get checked over. He was severely dehydrated and malnourished. If you wouldn’t have insisted on taking him, I don’t think he’d be alive today.” “Did I take him to Dr. Wyatt?” she asks. “I mean, Christian.” Looking at her, I wonder if she actually remembers Christian and a tinge of jealousy sweeps over me. “Actually, yes.” Impatiently I wait for her to explain, but she doesn’t. Instead, she waits for more of the story and almost becomes impatient with me because I stopped talking. “So, Herman ended up being okay?” “Yes, he’s fine now, better than ever and completely spoiled.” She laughs. “Good. That makes me happy.” “Yes, later that night you asked if I would foster him until you found him a home, and later I agreed to keep him permanently. But ever since, his owner has searched for him. It kind of pisses me off because he couldn’t even remember the dog’s name and didn’t take

care of him. Your house was broken into before and all that was left was a note. I’m certain now it’s Herman’s old owner. This note solidifies that.” Leaning forward, Kayla wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me. It feels like home and I can’t help but snake my arms around her waist. “Thank you, Logan. Thank you for always being there for me. I’d do anything to remember it all.” Once she releases me from her embrace, her eyes meet mine and I know the girl who loves me is in there somewhere. I just wish I could find her. “You have to stay safe. No more leaving doors unlocked, windows open, none of that. I also think we should call the police and have a restraining order placed on that guy. He’s psycho and seems capable of anything. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” Her eyes are full of sadness. “You mean if something else happened to me. Losing my memory has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life, which is saying a lot considering my past.” My heart is breaking for her, and if I had the ability to change it all, I would in a heartbeat. “Speaking of all these animals, where’s Adam?” I ask, looking around, not seeing him. “Oh, he’s with Christian.” She smiles and I wonder if there’s more to this story but I refuse to pry. I have to give her the distance she wants and be her friend. Though I can’t deny hearing his name again, twice in one night, causes the jealousy to burn like fire.

KAYLA Logan refused to allow me to stay at the house alone and volunteered to sleep on my couch. Just by the serious look on his face, I knew saying no wasn’t an option. Knowing someone was in my house kind of gives me the creeps, so I’m grateful he’s a tad stubborn. After I grab a few extra blankets and a pillow for Logan, I tell him goodnight. The dogs follow me to my bedroom and jump on the bed, ready to sleep. Before I plug in my phone, I see it’s close to four in the morning, and I’m happy tomorrow is Saturday, so I can sleep a little late before volunteering. By the time I wake up at nine, I see the blankets folded and placed on the arm of the couch and Logan is gone. I let the boys out and grab my phone and see a few missed texts. L: I had some business to take care of this morning. Didn’t want to wake you. Hope you have a good day! I smile and text him thank you back. It’s hard not to appreciate Logan after everything he’s done and continues to do for me. Scrolling through, I see another text from Christian. C: Your pup is doing good. You can pick him up when you’re ready.

K: Thank you. I’ll be right there. Instead of looking like a hot mess and rushing down to the vet in jogging pants and an oversized T-shirt, I change into some blue jeans and a sleeveless shirt. Though it’s only ten, it’s hot as hell. I feed Kristoff and Philip and promise to walk them when I return. I swear Philip rolled his eyes at me. By the time I get to the clinic, the parking lot is almost full, so I park on the side of the building. I walk through the doors, sign in, and find a place to sit while I wait. Christian’s voice echoes down the hallway, and I try to remember exactly what happened between us. I scrolled through our text messages and there were only a few, mostly from him, that I had apparently ignored. Rounding the corner, I almost run into him and his eyes meet mine. “Kayla, good to see you. Come on back,” he says with a perfect smile on his face. I stand and follow him to a room in the back where Adam is. Once Adam sees me, he perks up and runs across the room to me. Bending down, I pet his head and give him a huge hug. “You scared me, buddy. I’m so happy you’re okay.” For a moment, I don’t even notice Christian watching me as Adam licks my face. I can’t ignore the way he’s looking at me, and I feel somewhat guilty for dropping him like a bad habit, but I know there was a good reason. I stand and smile. “Thanks for helping, Adam. I can tell he’s feeling tons better. I appreciate it.” “No problem. It’s my pleasure. He’s a good dog. I think he may have eaten something he shouldn’t have. Once I got some fluids in him with some meds, he’s been fine. Just remember, no table scraps.” I laugh and leash Adam’s collar. “Yes, sir.” Before we get to the counter, Christian stops me and tells me not to worry about paying for Adam’s treatment. “I insist. You kept him all night and gave him fluids and medicine; I owe you,” I say. “Don’t worry about it, Kayla. It was nothing.” “Well at least let me make it up to you. Do you like cake and coffee?” I ask, feeling completely guilty about everything because he’s a genuinely nice guy. Though I’d never go on a date with him again because of Logan, I secretly want to know what he knows. Everyone has been warned not to feed me information, but he hasn’t. “Yeah, of course,” he says with a smile. “My treat then. I like taking my friends there. It’s the least I can do for you helping Adam. Let’s meet up at three at the coffee house on Washington. My treat.” Dr. Wyatt looks at me for a moment, then nods. “Sounds good. I’ll see you there.” I walk out of the office happy because my pup is doing a lot better. Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown in the friends comment, but I wanted him to know that it’s nothing, because it is nothing.

Considering I don’t know what happened between us and it feels a bit awkward, I have to know what information he can give me. I’m trying to think positive regardless of how annoying it is to not remember my past. Maybe I’ll start thinking of my new life as a second chance at everything. I just wish I knew what mistakes I made so I don’t repeat them again. Once I’m home, I take the dogs for a walk then head over to the shelter. As soon as I enter, they’re overly excited to see me because it’s been awhile. “Kay! My favorite volunteer,” Mary says, walking around the counter and giving me a big hug. “The dogs have missed you so much. So glad you’re back.” I force a smile regardless of how sad it makes me feel because I don’t remember any of the animals that are here now. Mary instantly notices and tries to backtrack. “Oh, honey. I know you may not know them, but they remember you and your sweet spirit. Come on,” she says, grabbing my hand and leading me to the back where we wash the dogs on the weekend. Chelsea, a volunteer that’s been doing this for years, is struggling to wash a big lab. She looks over her shoulder and smiles at me. Immediately, I go to her and help. Together we wash the rest of the dogs and Chelsea tells me each of their names and how long they’ve been in the shelter. Just as we’re finishing up with the last dog, I look over at the clock hanging on the wall, and I see it’s close to three. Hurrying, I help rinse all the soap off under his body right before he shakes. I’m soaking wet! “Oh man. I’ve got to go,” I say standing, dripping with water. Chelsea smiles and I see she’s just as wet as I am. I halfway wish I would’ve brought a change of clothes so I won’t smell like dog water, but I know Christian would understand. “Thanks for your help! See you again soon,” Chelsea says, walking the dog back to his cage after drying him. She’s so bubbly, and I can tell that volunteering makes her happy. It does the same thing to me. Rushing, I drive to the coffee shop with the windows down hoping it will help dry me off quicker. When I get out of the car and walk into the building, I can see it did absolutely nothing. As soon as I walk in, I see Christian in the middle of the room waving at me. Smiling, he stands and meets me at the counter. “I was almost worried you’d stood me up,” he says playfully. I shake my head with a smile. “Did I do that before?” “No, you didn’t. Oh, let me get that,” he tells me after I order my coffee and donut with sprinkles. Christian orders, and I hurry and slide my credit card on the counter so he doesn’t pay. After we have our coffees, a donut, and piece of raspberry cake, we sit by the window close to the door. We talk about animals and funny things that have happened to us while volunteering. After a moment, the mood shifts, and I take it as my chance to ask Christian the questions I want answers to. “I’m really sorry if I hurt you in any way. I don’t know if you want to talk about it, but what happened between us?”

Taking a sip of coffee, he sits back in his chair and smiles. “We only went on one date, so no harm, no foul. At the restaurant, I could tell the feelings between us weren’t mutual and that’s okay. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed.” He pauses for a second then continues. “I don’t know much about what happened after that night, but I know through Lucy that you were really happy. I’d never want to interfere with that.” I swallow hard. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ll find someone who makes you as happy as I was.” “That means a lot,” Christian says digging into his cake. Knowing I didn’t hurt him makes me feel better about the situation. Together, Logan and I were something special, and I find myself longing for that sensation or one memory to remind me of what we truly had. Love like that is hard to come by. Just as I’m taking a bite of my donut, a familiar face walks through the door. Logan looks directly at me and Christian together. Something flickers in his eye— confusion and anger mixed with pain and oddly enough, it all feels too familiar.

CHAPTER SEVEN LOGAN I hardly slept last night and was up and out of the house before Kayla woke up. Once Kayla went to bed, I fixed her screen, shut all the windows, and locked them. I did another walk through and double-checked all the doors were locked and dead bolted. I hate that the old man has put this fear back in her, and after only being able to sleep for a few hours, I decide to pay him a house visit. We could’ve called the police and filed another report, but it wouldn’t change anything. She’d still hold that fear and I’d still be constantly worried. Even if the cops were called and he’d get arrested and thrown in jail, he’d eventually get out on bail, and the old bastard would just come back—this time with more vengeance. So, perhaps he needs a personal reminder of his boundaries. I’m filled with anger the more I think about it. Stomping up his stairs, I reach the door and pound my fist against the wood. When he doesn’t answer, I pound harder the second time. I hear him stumbling around, and when he finally opens the door, he braces himself on the doorframe. “Who’re you?” he slurs, and I notice a flask in his other hand. “I’m Detective Knight, sir,” I tell him in a firm voice, staring directly into his barely open eyes. “Where’s your badge?” he asks, his voice rough. “I’m here on personal business.” I take an exaggerated step toward the man, who suddenly stands taller, but still needs to support his body. “I know you’ve been breaking into my friend’s house. I have you on surveillance, too.” “So? She stole my fucking dog,” he shouts. “And I want him back!” “You ain’t getting him back, you drunk fuck. I could call the police and they would arrest you, but I like the idea of giving you a warning in person. Because this is the only warning you’re going to get. After almost shooting us, consider yourself lucky.” “That’s where I know you from. You helped her steal my dog.” He finally links it together, the realization in his droopy eyes look up at me. “Perhaps the PD would be interested in that information.” “Go right ahead, old man. You can’t prove anything, but we have you on camera, so I’d think on that first. Do you like sleeping behind bars?” “I didn’t take anything,” he spits. “I’ll get a slap on the wrist and get bail in an hour.” I rub along my jawline, chuckling at his attempt to argue with me. “Not the way I’ll be writing the police report.” I wink, knowing it’ll aggravate him. “I see you around her house again, I won’t be so friendly next time.” I step back and walk away.

Heading back to my house, I reflect on how far Kayla’s and my friendship has come. It feels more natural but also weird because every time I see her I have to fight the urge to kiss her. Although we can’t be together, those feelings are still very much alive and being her friend is the closest thing I can have of her right now. It’s a curse and a blessing. After showering and getting ready for the day, Skylar calls me and asks what we’re doing today. I try and take her on outings during Maggie’s weekend shifts so we can spend some father-daughter time together. She tells me about this new place with bounce houses and slides, so I promise to pick her up shortly. I’m tempted to text Kayla and check in on her, but I don’t want to overcrowd her either. I know she wants us to be friends, but sometimes the thought of only being her friend hurts too much. Once I’m ready and head out of the house to run a few errands before picking up Skylar, I decide to stop by the cafe to grab a cup of coffee. As soon as I walk in and eye Kayla sitting at a table with Christian, everything inside me tightens. “Logan, hi!” Kayla says with a mouthful. Reluctantly, I walk over and nod my head at them. “This is Dr. Wyatt.” She introduces us, unknowing that we’ve already met. “Yes, I remember.” I reach my hand out and shake his. My lips pinch tightly together as he firmly grasps my hand. “We met when we brought Herman in.” Her eyes widen as if she’s embarrassed. “Oh, right. Of course. Well, Christian was kind enough to take Adam in late last night and since he won’t take my money,” she exaggerates, eyeing Christian and making my stomach turn. “I had to take him out for coffee to properly thank him.” Christian watches her as she talks with a smile on his face. I stuff my hands in my front pockets and nod as if I understand her reasoning. I know Kayla is a sweet person and just trying to show her appreciation, but Christian is taking advantage of that. He knows she can’t remember their failed date, so he’s probably hoping to score a second now. Good vet or not, I don’t like him one bit. “Sounds fun. I don’t want to interrupt your time, so I’m just going to order my coffee and get going.” “Logan, wait…” Kayla starts to protest, but I smile and shake my head at her. “We can talk later,” I reassure her, although I’m not sure why she’d need the assurance considering she knows exactly where I stand. However, I know this whole thing isn’t easy for her either. After grabbing my coffee, I head out to grab Skylar and see she’s in a great mood, which gets me back in a good mood, too. “Hey, princess! I missed you!” I tell her when she answers the door. Even though I see her much more now, I always miss her. “Daddy!” She runs into my arms and hugs me. “Can Mommy come, too?” she asks, her eyes lighting up. “Isn’t Mommy working this afternoon?” I ask, looking around for Maggie to confirm.

“Actually, I got called off today.” She gives me a sincere look and when I look back down at Skylar, I can’t deny the excitement on her face. Maggie notices my discomfort and steps in. “Baby, why don’t you and Daddy spend some time together this time, okay?” “No!” she cries. “Please! I want you both to watch me.” Her eyes are pleading and I can’t deny my little girl. “Sure, baby. Whatever you want.” I kiss her cheek and stand. “Want to ride with us, Maggie?” I ask, knowing it doesn’t make sense for us to take two cars to the same place. “Yes!” Skylar answers for her and does a little fist pump in the air. “Let’s go!” She pulls on my hand and I laugh at her eagerness. “Let me go grab my shoes. I’ll meet you out there,” Maggie tells Skylar with a forced smile. I’m sure this isn’t what she expected either, but it really shouldn’t be that surprising considering Skylar is getting older and is going to see other kids her age with both parents together. I know this is all part of co-parenting and wanting both to be supportive parents, so I better get used to it now. If she gets involved in sports or has dance recitals, she’ll want us both there. “Are you sure this is okay?” Maggie asks as she meets us at the car. Skylar’s already buckled in the backseat so she can’t hear us talking. “It’s fine,” I tell her. “Guess we better get used to it, right?” I shrug and flash a small smile. We drive in awkward silence to a place called Bounce ‘N Slide, and the moment we walk inside, my ears begin to bleed from all the high-pitched screaming. “Where do you want to start?” I ask, shouting over the screams. “What?” Maggie shouts back, unable to hear me although she’s just a few feet away. We both laugh and follow Skylar to the designated parents’ section where it’s not much quieter. “Let’s find a locker for your stuff, baby,” Maggie says as Skylar tosses her shoes off. “Where do you want to start?” I look around, overwhelmed by the amount of kids running around. The bounce houses are huge. There are even bigger ones in the back with large slides, some with balls, and others the kids use to jump from one to the next. Skylar’s eyes are completely lit up, and I can tell she’s beyond excited. “Over there!” she points, and before I can look, she stands and is off running. “Skylar, wait!” I shout, about to go running after her, but Maggie stops me by placing a hand on my arm. “Let her go, Logan.” She smiles. “She’ll be okay. Skylar’s pretty independent and whether we want to accept it, she’s getting older.” I sigh, blowing out a small breath. “I know. I forget how big she is already.”

“It flies by,” she reminds me. “Blink and she’ll be running off to college.” “God,” I groan. “Don’t say that.” She laughs as we walk to a locker and sets Skylar’s stuff inside. We end up walking together around the arena, looking for any sign of Skylar. Eventually we find her going down one of the slides with a new friend she just made. Maggie and I record videos of her and laugh. An hour passes and being around Maggie has shockingly not been horrible. We talk as we walk around the play area, trying to keep a close eye on Skylar, but it’s nearly impossible with the way she’s running from one end to the other. “This is nice, isn’t it?” Maggie asks. “What?” I tilt my head down and meet her eyes. “Being bombarded with children or knocking into each other every other second from the crowds of people here?” I tease. Smiling, she looks down almost as if she’s trying to hide her blush, but I’ve known Maggie long enough to know that look. “Just being able to talk,” she says, taking me by surprise. “We haven’t been able to do that in forever.” I nod, agreeing. “Yeah, I know. It feels like ancient history almost.” “I’m glad you pushed us to move here, Logan,” she tells me sincerely. “I prefer encouraged,” I tease, pressing a hand to my chest. She laughs and ends up wrapping her hand around my arm to stable herself when a kid comes running into her. “Why don’t we find a place to sit instead?” I suggest, knowing Skylar will be just fine for a little bit. I follow her into the parents’ waiting area where half the parents are taking cat naps. It’s comical, but I don’t plan to sleep while Skylar’s out there unsupervised. “Do you remember that one time when we were at the mall and some guy holding a red slushy walked right into me?” Maggie asks with a laugh. “And spilled it all over my new white blouse. Oh my God, I was so mad!” Nodding, I smile. “Yeah, then the jackass had the nerve to yell at you for spilling his drink and saying you owed him another one.” Maggie bursts out laughing, her head falling back against the chair. “I thought you were going to kill him when you pinned him up against the wall.” I smirk, remembering that very clearly. “Yeah, I think I’m still banned from that mall.” We both laugh. That was a long time ago. “Didn’t take much to get me pissed,” I admit. “Doubt it still does.” She looks at me and grins. She’s certainly not wrong.

Two hours later, I’m carrying a sleeping Skylar back inside Maggie’s house. She fell asleep on the car ride home, even though it’s not that late. “I can’t believe she just passed out like that,” Maggie whispers to me as I lay her in bed. “She must’ve really played hard.” Pressing my lips to Skylar’s forehead, I kiss her before walking out and slowly shutting her bedroom door. “All that energy in her little body couldn’t be contained.” I laugh softly. “She should sleep good for you tonight at least.” “Want to stay for dinner? I’ll probably just order something, but I was going to open a bottle of wine if you wanted to stay…?” Her question lingers on her lips, and I know she’s created something in her head about us spending the day together. “I shouldn’t,” I try and let her down easy, brushing a hand through my hair and hoping she doesn’t feel like I’m being rude by denying her invitation. “Herman needs to be let out, and I have some laundry to finish before my next shift.” “Oh, of course,” she says, waving it off. “No biggie.” She walks me to the door and opens it. “Thanks for coming with us today, Mags. I think Skylar really likes having both of us around.” “Thanks for letting me tag along.” She flashes a small smile. “Good night, Maggie.” I walk out and nod at her, signaling a silent peace treaty. We’re full-time co-parenting now and Skylar is growing up. There will inevitably be times Skylar will want both of her parents to participate in activities. It’s not fair for her to miss out on these family times, so we’ll do our best in this transition. Smiling, she waves. “Night, Logan.”

KAYLA Having coffee with Christian was pleasant, yet it felt strange. Even though I have no memory of him nor Logan, I don’t feel that connection with Christian like I do Logan. Perhaps it’s because Logan and I have been spending time together as friends or there’s a part of me that remembers the way he made me feel, but whatever the reason, I know Logan’s surprised when he sees us sitting in the cafe. I feel obligated to assure him this isn’t a date. I wouldn’t do that to him, especially after everything he’s done for me. I only remember the last few weeks of being friends with Logan, and I can already see why I would’ve fallen for him. C: Are you home? I’m coming over. With reinforcements. I read Courtney’s text and can hear the urgency of her tone in my head. After Christian and I parted ways, I took a drive to the food pantry to sign up for the next month’s

volunteer schedule and stayed a few hours to help unpack since I was already there. I hadn’t realized how late it’d gotten until I saw the time on my phone. As soon as I leave, I rush back home. K: On my way home now. Meet you there! I pull into my driveway less than ten minutes later and Courtney’s already waiting for me. “Hey!” I say as soon as I open my door. “Everything okay?” The streetlights glare overhead, and I can see the distressed look on her face. “Hold on,” she says, opening the back door. She begins shuffling around in her backseat and soon she’s carrying a large basket filled with muffins. “No, it’s not! I need you to take these muffins.” I walk toward her and she dumps the basket in my arms. “Jesus…” I adjust the weight so I don’t fall over. “What are they made with? Bricks and rocks?” “Ha ha.” She rolls her eyes. “My freezer is full, and if Drew finds out I’m stress baking again, he’ll freak out and put the brakes on trying to make a baby.” “So, you’re hiding muffins now?” I tease, arching a brow at her. “Don’t you judge me. And yes.” I chuckle as we make our way up the porch and after inputting the key code, we walk inside and I lead her right into the kitchen with all three dogs following behind. “Okay…” I say, grabbing a muffin and taking a bite. “Tell me what’s going on now.” She also grabs a muffin and sits down at my little kitchen table. “Well, Drew and I are humping like rabbits,” she says around a mouthful. “Like all the time…” “Yes, I got that from the humping like rabbits bit,” I mock, biting into my muffin. “Go on,” I say as she glares back at me. “Anyway, so after the first couple of months, I decided to start tracking my cycle and taking ovulation tests so we can really make sure to be active during those three days. Well, after that didn’t seem to help, I started looking online for secrets or tips and came across this fertility tea. Then I found a special lube that’s supposed to help get the sperm to the egg…” “How did trying to have a baby get so damn technical? Geez.” “Girl, I know! Viola makes it look so easy!” I chuckle and nod, agreeing. “So, after these new things we tried, nothing seems to be working. Like, I know it can take up to a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant—according to all the forums I’ve read—but this is stressing me out!” she groans. “Hence the baking.” “Lots of baking,” I repeat with a laugh.

“We’re basically forcing ourselves to have sex, and it’s taken all the fun out of the having sex part. I’m afraid he’s going to start resenting me for it.” “I doubt Drew is going to resent you for riding his dick. He probably just feels like an object right now—like you only want him for his baby gravy. Try being more spontaneous and making love because you want to show him how much you love him and not worry about if you’re ovulating or not.” “I try! I really do, but I can’t help it. I obsess over it. Then I get this fear that I won’t be able to have children and how unfair that’ll be to Drew because his infertile wife can’t give him a baby.” “From what I now know about Drew and your relationship, I don’t believe he’d ever resent you, Court. It’s obvious he loves you no matter what, and if that ends up being the case, I would anticipate he’d stand by your side. Plus, there are other options.” “I just wish I knew. Like, if I can’t have kids, I want to know now so I can stop getting my hopes up every time I pee on a stick.” “Have you thought about going to see a fertility doctor?” I ask, reaching for another muffin because dammit, they’re so good and addicting. “Yeah, but Drew said I’m overreacting. Then when I called to make an appointment anyway, the doctor won’t even schedule us until we’ve been actively trying for thirteen months.” “That’s not so bad. You guys are newlyweds, too. Why not just enjoy that while you can because before you know it, you’ll have five little Drews and Courtneys running around and you’ll have forgotten all about what it was like to not have any kids at all.” She smiles wide, grabbing her third muffin out of the basket. “I hope you’re right.” She smiles wide and shoves it into her mouth. “Always am,” I gloat. “Okay, enough about my cycles. It’s time for you to start dishing.” I narrow my eyes at her. “About what? My life is boring.” “Somehow I doubt that.” She bites her lip as if she has more to say. “What?” I drag out. “Tell me!” “Logan is at my house right now.” My eyes widen, nerves set within my bones. “What? Why? You’re just telling me this now?” “I knew something was going on! Okay, spill it,” she squeals like we’re in middle school. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re friends. Nothing’s happened.” “You know, you said that last time, and then suddenly, you two were making out under the mistletoe.” My heart stops.

“Wait. What’d you just say?” “Huh?” She looks at me confused. “Mistletoe?” “At your Christmas in July ugly sweater party,” she reminds me, forgetting I obviously don’t remember. “It was like your first official event as a couple. He grabbed you and kissed you under the mistletoe because he knew how much you love Christmas.” “He did? Oh my God.” My heart sinks at the thought. “No guy has ever done anything like that for me before.” “Because he’s hopelessly in love with you, Kayla. Even if you can’t remember, you can’t deny the things he does for you aren’t all out of love.” “I-I just can’t believe he’s okay with just being friends after all we’ve apparently been through.” “Well, that’s because he loves you. He’s happy to be in your life any way he can be.” “I’ve never had someone care so much about me before.” “What do you mean?” “Well, considering I grew up in foster homes most of my childhood, it’s always been hard to not feel like a burden. When I met Viola and you, it was then that I knew what it meant to have true friends in my life. Of course, I had friends in college, but it wasn’t until you welcomed me into your circle that I knew what it felt like to have a family. I will be forever grateful for that. Because of you two, I found family and love. Logan does things for me and seems to love me so unconditionally. I’m just not used to it yet, I suppose.” “Wow, Kay.” She rubs her hand along my arm. “I didn’t know about your childhood. I never would’ve guessed that about you. How come you never told me?” I shrug, not wanting to admit that talking about it makes me feel vulnerable, and I don’t want my past to dictate my future. “I never told anyone, before Logan I guess. He knows about…everything.” Courtney gives me a sweet smile. “Well, maybe that’s enough to know that your love was real, and if you fell in love once before, who says you can’t again?”

CHAPTER EIGHT LOGAN Hours pass and the sun begins to set over the horizon. On the drive home, I can’t help the smile on my face. Skylar was so happy, and it’s those moments watching her play and be a kid that I will treasure for life. Everything in life was falling into place right before it was ripped into tiny pieces, which somehow isn’t surprising. Falling hard for Kayla meant hitting rock bottom even harder and nothing could’ve ever prepared me for this. Once I’m home, I take Herman outside then jump in the shower. As I stand under the stream allowing the water to run over my body, the overwhelming feeling of missing Kayla hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s almost as if I’m in mourning. My heart hurts so bad over this and no one can help me. No one can make the pain of losing her go away. Though she’s not gone, the memories of us together are, and it’s almost too much. I stand under the water until it turns cold and take that as my cue to get out. Just as I’m finished drying off, Drew calls. “Courtney’s informed me she’s busy tonight. The Yankees are playing, and I’ve got a fridge full of beer with our name on it,” he says as if I will automatically agree. I chuckle and decide to meet him because once he becomes a new dad, outings like this may be scarce for awhile. On the way over to Drew’s, I’m half-tempted to call Kayla. It’s strange not being able to pick up the phone and chat with her about nothing. I should almost be used to it by now, but considering she’d become such a major part of my life, giving her space is hard. I’m learning to live with it one day at a time. Once I’m at Drew’s, I get out and knock on the door. Courtney opens it with a big smile and a hug. “Detective,” she says in her Southern accent. “Hey, Court. Yankees winning?” She nods her head with a smile then stands to the side to allow me in. After she tells Drew goodbye, she leans over the couch and gives him a big kiss on the lips. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m away.” “Oh, you know me.” Drew looks at her with so much love and adoration in his eyes. Courtney looks over at him with the same expression, and it makes me miss my Angel all over again. Damn it. Once she’s gone, Drew goes to the fridge and grabs us both a beer. “Walking kinda funny there, partner.” He hands me the bottle, and I twist the cap off and take a big swig. “I think it’s all the sex I’ve been having. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes three times a day. Though I’m not complaining at all.” He laughs. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.

Now if only Court would stop pissing on so many of those damn sticks. I should probably buy stock in pregnancy tests. Hell, at this point, I should probably just buy the company.” I give him a smile. “It’ll happen when you least expect it. That’s how life works.” Drew gives me a serious look as he takes a big pull from his beer. “Logan. Were you scared when you became a father? Did it freak you out that maybe you wouldn’t be a good dad or know what to do? I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately.” His question somewhat catches me off guard. I’ve chatted about Skylar with him before but mainly small talk, and he’s never asked me any questions about fatherhood. Granted, in the beginning, I can’t say I was the best father because I was so far away, but it wasn’t completely my fault. I wanted to be there for her every chance I could. Before I get lost in my thoughts, I take the time to gather my words. I’ve never been one to just speak for the sake of speaking. “The first time you lay eyes on your child, your entire world changes. You’ll do anything and everything for that tiny human being that you helped create. Instinct kicks in and somehow you know how to change shitty diapers and mix formula. I’ve never felt unconditional love before I saw Skylar. Trust me, your dad instincts just flick on. And yeah, I was scared shitless, not going to lie about that. But Skylar has been my blessing, my saving grace, and though I wasn’t prepared for her to come into this world, I wouldn’t change a thing.” Parenting isn’t easy but I have no doubt in my mind that Drew and Courtney will be the best parents they can be. A big smile forms on Drew’s face and I know my words helped calm some of his fears. “Thanks, man. I think I needed to hear that.” The mood swiftly changes as the Yankees are down in the fourth inning. Drew is yelling at the TV as if they can hear him telling them to get their shit together. “And just think, football season starts in just a few weeks,” I remind him. “Oh great. That means Courtney and I will be fighting over our teams again. I’m sorry but the 49ers are better than the Dallas Cowboys,” Drew tries to say without laughing. “Really, the Cowboys are the better team, but don’t you dare tell her that. I’ll never hear the end of it.” Drew laughs and slyly slips in his next question. “So, what’s going on with you and Kayla? Any progress?” I take that as my cue to get up and grab our next round of beers since both of ours are now empty. It gives me time to breathe and an opportunity to think about his question. I’m stalling, I know, but Drew is glued back to the TV so he doesn’t notice. When I return with our beers, he’s waiting for an answer. “Not really. We’re friends and just friends. I saw her with Christian, the vet, at the coffee shop and it took every bit of strength I had to not to beat in his perfectly straight teeth. Fucking prick.” Drew grabs a bag of chips from the coffee table. “Have you ever thought of asking her on a date? Like, trying to start over? If she fell for your hardass once, I’m sure she could again. Everyone deserves a second chance.” I look at him like he’s lost his mind. “Ask her on a date?”

“Exactly. What do you have to lose really? Absolutely nothing. But the real question is, what do you have to gain?” As I think about Drew’s words and allow them to resonate with me, I realize he’s right. Why didn’t I think about this sooner? I’ve been too caught up with keeping my distance and us being friends that the thought of going on a real date never crossed my mind. We’ve been on many dates before, but for Kayla, it will be an opportunity to experience our first date again, if she agrees. Not many people get second chances, so why not use this opportunity to remind her why she fell so hard for me in the first place? Only this time, I’ll be the one chasing her and not giving up. The girl who loves me is still in there somewhere. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

KAYLA My stomach is so full of Courtney’s muffins that I have a food baby and it’s twins. After she leaves, I sit on the couch miserably stuffed and turn on the TV to see the Yankees win the game in the last inning. Instantly, I change the channel to some silly love story where the girl and guy are madly in love and can’t stop sharing their feelings. It makes me wonder if that’s where Logan and I left off, but by the text messages and the way he looks at me, I know it was, and it kind of makes me miss the unknown. All my life I’ve wanted and dreamed of a healthy, loving relationship, and I can’t help but be angry that it was ripped away from me at my happiest. I wish there was an explanation to it all, but there’s not. Philip and Adam chase each other around the house, and I can’t help but laugh at them. I swear they must’ve found a few crumbs from Courtney’s muffins because they’re wired. Kristoff is lying on the floor unamused with them both. Just as I get up to open the back door to let them run around outside, the doorbell rings and startles me. All three of them start barking as loud as they can, and I decide to wait before letting them out, just in case I need extra protection. Telling them to hush as I walk through the living room, I check the peephole. Logan is standing at my door in a black T-shirt and blue jeans. His hair is messy and his hands are tucked into his pockets. I can’t deny how sexy he is. There’s something about him that’s so mysterious. Knowing I look like a hot mess, I try to fix my hair quick. Just as he turns to walk away, I open the door. “Logan,” I say, stepping out, almost worried that he’s here unannounced. “Everything okay?” He turns and gives that look, the one that tells me how much I mean to him and how he would do anything for me. It makes me feel guilty for not remembering us. Taking a few steps toward me, I watch as a smirk charms his face, and I instinctively smile back at him. “Kayla, sorry for coming over without texting or calling. I just…”

“It’s fine,” I say, inviting him inside. After he shuts the door, Logan stands there for a moment, and I can tell he has something to say, so I wait anxiously. He rubs the scruff along his jaw and even looks a tad nervous. I’m not sure what he’s about to say, but it’s making me worried just watching him. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I can’t just be only friends anymore.” “What?” I question, panic quickly taking over. “Go on a date with me,” he says, confidently now. “You and me. Next Saturday.” I search his face, and all I can do is smile in relief. Swallowing, I shift my feet and nod. “Okay.” “Really?” He almost seems shocked that I’d agree. I nod again. Logan takes a few steps forward, removing the space between us. His smell surrounds me and there’s no way I can ignore him when he’s so close. Opening his arms, Logan pulls me into them and holds me and oddly enough it feels like home. I don’t even think to push him away because I’m so comforted by him. It’s not awkward or weird—just different. If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine what our relationship was like before and sadness washes over me. After another moment, Logan releases me. “I’m sorry. Habit.” “I could try to get used to it.” His eyes tell me everything his lips won’t say. “Trying is all we can do.” Logan shoves his hands into his pockets. I give him a smile and walk to the kitchen. “Hey, do you happen to like Courtney’s blueberry muffins?” Logan lets out a hearty laugh. “Dumb question, I guess. Everyone loves Courtney’s muffins.” I open the fridge and load a bag of them for him. “Please take them. I’ve already eaten at least five.” I open the freezer and show him two other Ziploc bags stuffed to the brim with muffins. “I’ve already got two Ziploc bags in my car. Courtney made me swear I wouldn’t tell Drew she’s pawning muffins off on me, though I plan to bring them to the station tomorrow. The guys go crazy over those muffins.” “Are you sure you don’t want another two bags?” I tease. “You’re starting to sound a little bit too much like your friend,” he jokes. Standing there awkwardly, Logan breaks the silence. “Well, I guess I should get going.”

He walks toward the door, and before making it across the living room, I stop him. “Don’t go yet.” Turning around, he searches my face, waiting for me to explain. “I just…don’t want to be alone. Not yet at least. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, trying to figure out my life, and it gets frustrating. Then I get down. I’m better when people are around. Gives me less time to think about how fucked up this situation is.” “I’ll stay anytime you want me to. If you ever feel lonely, call me. I’m always available for you.” “Why are you so good to me?” I ask with an appreciative smile. Without a beat, he blurts out, “Because I love you. You mean so much to me. And God, I wish you remembered. I almost envy the fact that you don’t.” He doesn’t make eye contact with me, and I stand there allowing his voice to echo through the room. Neither of us says a word, too lost in our own thoughts. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things,” Logan says sincerely, obviously hurting. Taking his hand, I lead him to the couch and he sits next to me. “Never apologize for speaking your truths. Honestly, I’ve tried to put myself in your shoes a million times over the last few weeks. I’ve tried to imagine us in switched places with you not remembering me while I have every tiny detail burned into my memory. It would drive me insane. I’m sure it’s hard for you to be around me or even look at me. It’s like someone else is in my body. So, I agree and sympathize with you, I don’t know which is harder. To remember it all or to not remember a single memory, either way, we’re both feeling alone,” I tell him. Logan takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “We still have each other. And I’ll always be there for you, regardless of what the future holds. When I realized you couldn’t remember, a piece of my heart went missing too. I won’t feel whole again until I have it back.” My emotions start to bubble over, and I try to hold it back, but there’s no use. I’ve felt so much confusion and frustration over the last few weeks that I knew I’d inevitably lose it at some point. Before the tears hit my cheeks, Logan pulls me into his chest and we sit in each other’s arms until we lose track of time. I want to remember. I want to know what I lost and why he meant so much to me. The memories may not be there, but I can give him a real chance and see where it goes. That’s the least I can do.

CHAPTER NINE LOGAN The week drags on, and all that gets me through is knowing Kayla and I will be going on a date Saturday. I want to make sure that it’s the best date she’s ever experienced without being too cheesy or over-the-top. Friday night I can barely sleep knowing what I’ve got planned tomorrow. Once the sun rises Saturday morning, I’m wide awake. I take Herman outside and sip a cup of coffee as the fog rolls over the wet morning grass. He hurries outside and rushes back in, but I stand outside breathing in the fresh air. Somehow, it feels like a new beginning—a fresh start— and that thought alone keeps me going the rest of the day until it’s time to pick her up. Though we’ve done this many times before, my nerves are getting the best of me as I pull into her driveway. Taking a deep breath, I get out and walk toward her door with a dozen white roses. As I knock, my heart pounds hard in my chest. With a big smile on her face, Kayla opens the door. Her hair is down and curled, and she’s wearing the same dress she wore the day we met. I’m sure it’s a coincidence considering she doesn’t remember, but it’s one that gives me hope. I tuck my lips into my mouth because I just want to kiss the fuck out of her, but it’s too soon for all that. “These are for you,” I say, handing the fresh flowers to her. “These are my favorite,” she says smelling the petals. I don’t say a word and offer a smile. “Of course, you knew that already,” she jokes. When she looks away, her hair falls into her face. God. She’s beautiful and completely takes my breath away. Opening the door, I step inside and follow her to the kitchen where she grabs a vase and fills it with water for the flowers. She sets them on the table and breathes in their sweet smell. As Kayla turns around, she’s smiling. “Well, Detective. What’s the plan tonight?” I cross my arms over my chest. “That’s a surprise.” She chuckles and playfully rolls her eyes at me. For a moment, it feels like everything is back to normal, but I know better. Before we leave, Kayla lets the dogs out and places treats around the house for them to find later, but they’re smarter than that and sniff them out immediately. It makes me chuckle. The drive to San Francisco is long but totally worth it. Her face lights up when she realizes we’re heading out of town. Small talk and chatter about current events fill the drive. We’re both smiling and enjoying each other’s company, something I’ve desperately missed. As I glance over at Kayla, I’m reminded of the first time we went on a date and how excited she was. The same girl’s sitting next to me, smiling, laughing.

Taking a back road around the traffic in San Francisco, we pull into a parking garage that’s close to Fisherman’s Wharf and all the shops. It’s been ages since I’ve been to this part of town because it’s so touristy, but there’s one special place I want to take Kayla. After we park the car and get out, we walk close to each other down the sidewalk. Every once in awhile our arms brush against each other, and I wonder if she can feel the burning fire that’s growing inside me. As tempting as it is to grab her hand or place my arm around her, I don’t want to make it awkward for either of us. In my head, I keep repeating this is our first date and hope my body listens, but pushing those emotions to the side isn’t the easiest thing to control. As we walk down the sidewalk toward Pier 39, I snap a mental picture of how the wind blows through Kayla’s hair and how big she smiles when she laughs and talks. Tourists are everywhere, which only adds to the excitement when we walk around the corner and she sees the Kristmas Kringle Shoppe, a Christmas store open year-round. No matter what time of year it is, they’re blaring carols and are in the Christmas spirit. Biting her lip, she turns and looks at me like a kid that’s about to go into a candy store. “I thought you’d like this place.” I smile and give her a wink, and she walks in beaming. There are dozens of Christmas trees decorated with different ornaments and themes. Decorations fill the store everywhere we look. Christmas tunes play softly in the background as she walks down the aisles looking at everything. I never knew this much Christmas stuff even existed. It’s completely overwhelming and beautiful. “I didn’t know this store even existed,” she squeals, beaming. “It’s magical!” “I agree,” I say, as we walk under some mistletoe hung over an archway decorated in white blinking Christmas lights. Blush hits Kayla’s cheeks and we stand there for a moment staring into each other’s eyes. I swallow hard, because for a moment, my Angel is right here, staring at me the way she used to. Instead of making it any more awkward, I grab her hand and walk her to the back of the store where Santa Claus is waiting with an elf for photos. Turning my head, I smile back at her. “Picture?” “I’d love to,” she says, walking past the teenager and sitting on Santa’s lap. He goes through the motions of asking her if she’s been a good girl and what she wants for Christmas. She leans in and whispers her wish in his ear, and he looks straight at me and gives a big “Ho, Ho, Ho” before Kayla waves me over to be in the picture with her. Once I’m standing beside Santa, the elf counts down and snaps the photo. Before Kayla and I walk out, we’re handed the picture of us. Just to see that smile on her face—so carefree and happy—makes it all worth it, regardless of how much I miss the way we used to be. On the way out of the shop, we stop at the personalized ornaments section. Not being able to pass up the opportunity, I grab one and request for it to be customized. It’s a gingerbread couple holding a wreath where the date will go. After it’s customized with our names and the year, they hand it over to me. Kayla decides to get three dog bone ornaments and has her pups’ names added. Insisting, I pay for the ornaments, and when we step outside, she hands me the gingerbread couple that was stuffed into her bag. “No, I want you to have this one,” I tell her, handing it back to her. Smiling, she gives me one of those awkward friend side hugs and thanks me for everything. It takes all my

strength not to pull her into my arms in the middle of the sidewalk. Though it’s busy and crowds of tourists walk past us, in that moment, it’s just Kayla and me. I can only see her beautiful face, but unfortunately, she can’t see the me she knew and loved. I never realized how truly hard going on this date would be, until now.

KAYLA I’d give almost anything to remember Logan. Every time he looks at me, I know there’s something deeply rooted there. It’s just buried a little too far for me to find. The fact that he brought me to a Christmas shop means so much to me. He’s so damn thoughtful and it shows. It’s not just the holiday that I love, but it’s what it represented to me as a foster kid. To say my heart was touched is an understatement. We walk down the sidewalk toward the lookout. The sun is setting and purples and pinks splash across the sky along with long wisps of clouds. In the distance, I can make out the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. I’ve only been to San Francisco a few times and never experienced the Wharf, so being here with Logan is something that will forever be locked away in my heart. I may not remember much of our past, but I’m willing to make new memories with him. Granted, this may not be anything compared to our past, but I’ve decided I want to try. I can’t deny the attraction I have to him. Each time I look at his lips, I want to taste them. I want to know if maybe kissing him will bring back all the memories, but I know he’s being cautious with me, which I appreciate. Logan Knight is a gentleman through and through. We lean against the railing looking out over the water at the twinkling lights of the ships on the bay and Logan notices me shiver. Taking off his sports jacket, he places it over my shoulders. His smell surrounds me, and I breathe him in as the cool breeze rolls off the water. “Are you hungry?” Logan asks, glancing over at me. I nod. “Getting there.” “Good. I have reservations for us.” Logan grabs my hand in his and we walk like a couple in love toward The Bay Supper Club. The place is packed and while we wait for our reservation, Logan and I sit outside on a bench enjoying the view. “I have something to admit,” I say. Logan lifts an eyebrow at me, intrigued. “I’ve never visited this part of San Fran before. I’ve always avoided it because of all the tourists. I’m really glad you planned something so thoughtful. It means a lot.” He lightly chuckles, the cool breeze carrying his laughs away. “I have something to admit, too.”

Now I’m the one who’s curious. “I’ve only been able to think about how beautiful you are all night.” My heart melts. I’m half-tempted to grab his hand and interlock my fingers with his, but just as I find the courage to make the smallest of moves, we’re being called for our table. Making our way up the stairs, we’re sat right by the window that overlooks the bay. “The view is amazing,” I say, looking out at the ships. “It is,” Logan says, but he’s staring right at me, and only me. His gaze is intense and full of so much emotion. I swallow hard as the waiter takes our wine and food order. As we wait for our food, we make small talk and it feels so nice. When Logan laughs, I can tell he’s genuinely happy. Over dinner, he listens to every word I say and responds and reacts to my stories. Logan’s completely enamored by me, and after this date, I understand why I loved him so much. The man would do anything for me, anything to make me happy. I can’t say anyone has ever treated me so kindly without asking for anything in return. “Won’t you tell me more about us?” I ask as we finish eating our dinner. Logan smiles over his glass of wine before finishing it. “I wish I could. I wish I could just transfer all my memories to you so you’d understand everything. There were too many special moments that I really wouldn’t know where to start. And honestly, I don’t think my words could do it justice.” I search his face as he speaks and find myself watching his lips and mouth. Throughout the night, I’ve found myself noticing things about him, like the cute dimples in his cheeks that only show when he smiles wide or how he randomly tugs on the corner of his lip when he talks. It’s…sexy. The attraction I have toward him is undeniable. Time is passing by so quickly, and I’m not sure I’m ready for the night to be over, but all good things must come to an end. Taking the long way back to the car, we pass through different shops and even stop to watch the street artists. During the drive home, I can’t stop smiling. The date was perfect, one of the best ones I’ve had, I think. Once we’re back at my house, Logan walks around the car and opens the car door for me. My heart rate increases because I know what typically happens at the end of dates. As I walk up the steps with my Santa photo and ornaments in my red and green bag, Logan follows close behind me. I turn to tell him goodnight but the words don’t come because when my eyes meet his, heat rushes through my body. “Tonight was great. I hope we can do it again sometime,” he says in a low raspy voice. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” I lick my lips. Waiting for it. “Well…” He stalls as if he’s fighting a battle in his head “I’ll call you tomorrow, if that’s okay.” Logan searches my face and then turns to walk away before I can respond. My heart pounds harder in my chest while my nerves get the best of me. “Logan,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. He stops walking and slowly turns around. “Your jacket,” I remind him, taking it from my shoulders and handing it to him, but time seems to freeze once we’re standing in front of one another again.

“Kiss me,” I whisper, bravely. He looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind, and maybe I have, but I can’t let this night end without knowing what it feels like to have his lips against mine. “Are you sure about this?” I nod and Logan gives me the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen before he removes the space between us. Gently, he runs his thumb across my jaw before moving even closer, then traces the shell of my ear with his mouth. Taking his time, he drags his lips across my neck causing heat to rush through me. As he threads his fingers through my hair, his mouth traces along my jaw until he softly tugs my bottom lip into his mouth and sucks. Tease. Logan Knight is a fucking tease! Just as I let out a ragged breath, Logan’s lips crash against mine. His lips are soft and warm and cause my body to react in unimaginable ways. It’s not just a kiss, it’s kisses, passionate ones that steal my breath and thoughts away. My body is on fire and emotions soar through me, ripping everything I thought I believed about Logan Knight to shreds. Is it supposed to feel this way with someone I don’t remember? It’s purely physical in every sense, but I can’t stop. My hands thread through his hair, and I find myself becoming greedier with every passing second. Logan moans against my mouth, and I can feel his hardness against my stomach. Instantly, I feel guilty for losing control because for him this is more than two people kissing; it’s fully emotional and physical. But God, he’s such a good kisser and pours every bit of himself into me. By the time we break away, we’re both gasping for air, for some sort of recovery. My mouth falls open and he smirks. With hope is in his eyes, he searches my face. “Anything?” I shake my head though it pains me. I halfway hoped his kiss would wake me like Sleeping Beauty. His smile slightly falters, and I hate it all didn’t come rushing back as I lost myself in his lips. I give him a hug before we say our goodbyes and whisper in his ear. “My mind may not remember, but my heart does.”

CHAPTER TEN LOGAN I’ve never felt this kind of pain in my entire life. Not when some jackass body-slammed me in high school. Not when training for the army in hundred-degree weather had me vomiting my guts out. And not when I nearly lost my life overseas. This pain is indescribable. It feels like I’m heartbroken, yet it’s recovering at the same time. Every time I see Kayla, my heart molds together a little more, but each time she looks at me like a stranger, pieces chip away. The moment my lips touched hers, I never wanted to let go. I wanted to breathe memories of us back into her as our mouths and tongues intertwined. I felt the way her body responded as if it never forgot, but everything about our past is gone. I can’t lose control around her again. I need to stay grounded so our relationship can form naturally, but I’m getting so desperate. I miss my Angel. Although she’s agreed to start over with me, it still feels different. I’m on a completely different page than her, and I keep having to remind myself to take it slow. I pull back anytime I think I might be crossing the boundaries because, even though I remind myself of the reality, my heart doesn’t always remember. Since our first date, things have gone a little smoother, and I feel some hope that maybe someday she’ll feel the way I feel about her. However, I try not to get my hopes up. I know she’s attracted to me, but I want the emotional aspect of a relationship, too. I hadn’t wanted that in years before her, so I know she’s the only one for me. I hope she can feel the same way about me someday. The following Wednesday, Kayla invites me over for dinner. We haven’t seen each other since Saturday, but we made sure to call and text each other every day. I’m not sure exactly where we stand, but I know she felt something when we kissed, and that’s something I can hold onto. She answers the door in all smiles. I hold up a bag from Donny’s and grin. “I brought dessert.” She chuckles and lets me inside. “You have good taste.” “I’ve been influenced a time or two.” I wink and follow her into the kitchen. She walks to the stove and lowers the temperature of the burner. I watch as she effortlessly moves around the kitchen and then she looks over her shoulder and smiles. “What’s your favorite movie?” She looks completely content in her element, and I can’t stop watching her and how happy she is tonight.

That same hopeful feeling surfaces and just as quick as it comes, I push it away. “Well…” I ponder for a moment. “Considering the only movies I’ve watched over the past six months are either Christmas or Disney themed, I’d say anything without singing.” I smirk when she looks up at me. “So, I guess asking you to watch a movie with me after dinner is out of the question?” She arches a brow and it almost feels like my Kayla is back. “To be fair, we didn’t really watch movies, so I never cared what we watched,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. A blush creeps up her neck and cheeks. She looks stunning tonight. She always does, but tonight, she looks flawless without even trying. She’s still wearing her work clothes, which I one-hundred percent support. A tight pencil skirt that hugs her curves and goes all the way over her hips with a cream-colored blouse tucked inside. Her dark hair is pulled back into a tight bun with loose strands of hair falling along her hairline. A layer of red lipstick lines her lips and they look so fucking kissable, it pains me to not kiss them. “And here I thought you were a gentleman through and through,” she teases, the corner of her lips tilting up. “Oh, I’m very much a gentleman.” She brings the wooden spoon out of the pot she’s stirring and brings it up to her mouth and blows on it before tasting it. “I just wasn’t going to deny you what you begged me for.” She spews the liquid contents from her mouth all over the counter as she gasps and laughs. “Oh my God,” she mutters, covering her mouth and wiping it off her face. “That was unexpected.” “Sorry,” I say with laughter. “You started it.” “I didn’t start anything!” she protests with a smile. Things feel easy and natural with her again, and I can’t help the permanent smile on my face. I want to kiss her so badly, but things are starting to feel comfortable between us again, so I don’t want to push the boundaries too soon. “Your stew was delicious,” I tell her as I help clean up. We talked over dinner, and slowly I felt the anxiety melt away. “Thanks, it’s basically the only thing I can make.” She laughs. “You put everything in the slow cooker, return eight hours later, and voila!” “Well, you cut a mean potato and carrots,” I mock, getting another smile out of her. I love her fucking smile. It’s what helped pull me out of some of my darkest days. We settle in on the sofa together, and even though I want to wrap her up in my arms, I keep my distance and sit near her so we can still talk. We discuss which movie to pick that we’ll both enjoy. Well, mostly her because I don’t have the heart to deny her of anything she suggests. Especially when it’s a movie that will have her smiling and laughing. “Oh, I should take the dogs out really quick,” she says, but I don’t want her to miss the movie so I grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I’ll do it.” “Oh. Okay, thanks.” She settles back onto the couch. I round up the troops and take them out the back. Kayla has a little laundry room back there, so I stand and wait for them as they sniff around. Just as I’m about to bring them back in, I glance around and see a black duffle bag out of the corner of my eye. I blink, trying to clear my eyes so I can make sure what I’m seeing is real. It’s the duffle bag Kayla carried out of the drug house the day she smacked her head on the cement. I’ve never asked her about it because I knew she wouldn’t remember, but not knowing the backstory on why she was there to begin with has been killing me inside. I pick the bag up and examine it. I bring the dogs back in and set the bag down on the table. Just as I’m unzipping it, Kayla pops up from behind me. “Whatcha doing?” I swallow, bracing for her reaction, but when she sees me with the bag, her eyes narrow as if she’d never seen it before. “What’s that?” Licking my lips, I brush a hand through my hair and contemplate on how to explain this to her. “You were carrying this bag back to your car, the day of the accident. I never asked about it because I figured you wouldn’t remember, and I’ve been trying to put the pieces together of why you would’ve been at that house that day ever since.” “So, you think whatever’s inside might give us those answers?” she inquires, curious to hear more about that day. I ignore the doctor’s orders and decide I’m going to tell her anyway. She may never remember anyway, so she might as well hear the story from me. “Well, yeah.” I shift my body, nervous to say my next words. “I’m really hoping there aren’t drugs in here.” “Logan!” she screeches, eyes widening. “I did not buy drugs.” “You were walking out of a drug house that I was on a stakeout for, so when I saw you, I didn’t know what to think. Not being able to run after you and hold you—it was one of the worst moments of my life.” “It was a drug house?” she gasps. She blinks as if she’s trying to figure out a hard math problem, and I feel guilty for putting that stress on her. “Why would I be in a drug house? Are you sure that’s what it was?” “Positive. We’ve been tracking them for months. The day they were supposed to get a huge shipment in was the same day of the incident, and once an ambulance was called, we suspected they called it off.” “So, I went inside and came out with a duffle bag?” she asks for clarification. I can tell her mind is spinning now and wonder if maybe I should stop. “Yes. This duffle bag.” Her eyes lower and study the bag. “Can I open it?”

I push it closer toward her. “Of course. It’s yours.” She sucks her lips into her mouth, and I can tell she’s nervous. Unzipping the bag, she holds in a breath and releases it as soon as she pulls it wide open. “Oh.” “What?” I blurt out. “It’s all my work pamphlets and samples.” She reaches inside and begins pulling stuff out. “Here’s one of my books with all the different paint pallets I like to use. This one has samples of dining room designs. This one is full of schematics of built-in bar designs.” She lingers for a moment as she flips through them. “What is it?” “I don’t know, it’s just a weird combo. Usually I was only in charge of small projects, so I don’t remember overseeing anything this large.” “Well, you probably advanced or got promoted within the past two years.” “I know, that’s what Lucy had said, but the people I would’ve needed to contract is beyond my level even at a promotional position.” “What do you think that means?” “I’m not sure.” She digs around, pulling out more samples and a sketchpad. “This looks like one of my drawings.” I tilt my head to get a better look at it, but I can’t really figure out what I’m looking at. “I probably drew it out on here before transferring it to my iPad editor app where I add in more details.” Her eyes shoot open wider. “I bet it’s still on my iPad!” She takes off before I can ask what she’s talking about. Returning less than two minutes later, she has her iPad in hand and her fingers are swiping around. “I didn’t even think about it till now, because Allie, one of my colleagues, took over my client files, but all my sketches and pictures are saved to the iCloud. I should have every single photo I took of the house on here.” “Whoa, seriously? That could be huge for my case.” I stand next to her and watch as she scrolls through the images. “Here. This must be it. Looks like Allie uploaded new pictures too.” “Can I see?” She hands it over, and I frantically begin looking at all the photos. There are so many, I barely have time to really put the pieces together, but I stop scrolling as soon as I see the built-in bar. “What’s this here?” I point to a corner where it looks like a hidden box is built underneath the bar top. “I’m not really sure.” She narrows her eyes, trying to study it. “I have the client notes on my laptop!”

She runs off before I can comprehend what she’s doing. With her laptop in hand, she returns and sits at the table. “All the notes I wrote should be in my work files and Allie probably continued adding to them.” She’s frantically clicking and typing until she pulls a file up. “Here it is.” Sitting down next to her, I shift my body so I can read the screen. Our bodies are touching and I feel her shiver against me. I know I felt the way her body reacted when I kissed her, but I still have so much doubt. I’m not trying to build it up in my head that maybe she could start to have feelings for me again, but I can’t help the thought of that possibility. “What do the notes say?” I ask, shifting the tension back to the files. “It says here they wanted a remodel with unique and rare storage ideas to hide personal things, like documents, insurance papers, medical records and such. Basically, they wanted areas people wouldn’t think to look rather than the usual hole behind the painting on the wall.” “Is that a normal request?” I ask. “I’ve never done anything like that before within my first year. I don’t know about recently obviously, but considering you’re saying it’s a drug house, it makes more sense.” “Yeah, it does. They were preparing to have secret spaces to keep their drug money and higher-end drugs in, in case they ever got searched or a ‘customer’ decided to help themselves. You wouldn’t believe the hiding places we’ve found in drug houses. Some obvious, some not at all. Some in the best neighborhoods and some in the worst parts. You really don’t know until you start putting the pieces together.” “Wait.” She sits up taller and looks like her mind is going a million miles an hour. “So, they hired a designer to basically come in and point out different hiding places for their drugs and money? And that designer was me.”

KAYLA Anxiety weighs on my shoulders as soon as realization surfaces. I continue reading through my notes and feel completely duped by this client. I don’t know if I was just career-hungry and completely ignored the signs, or if they took advantage of me. I would’ve never guessed I was helping criminals, considering they lived in one of the best neighborhoods in Oak Groves. I study the pictures again, now seeing all the obvious signs of what Logan’s telling me. If they’ve been onto them for months, then I have no doubt in my mind that everything we’re speculating is exactly what was happening all along. “I can’t believe this,” I mutter, reading over more notes. “Allie’s notes say the project should be finished within the next week.” “That’s probably when they rescheduled their big drug order to be delivered so they’d have places to hide it all,” Logan says, talking mostly to himself. “Can I use this?” he

points to my iPad. “Your photos and notes could help us nail this case once and for all.” “Really?” I ask, hopeful that at least if anything, my files will give them enough information to get these guys. If it weren’t for that client, I wouldn’t be in this mess right now. “If we serve them with a search warrant and they think everything’s hidden, they won’t fight it. However, they won’t realize that we’ll know where to look. Finding the money will only give us probable cause to keep digging, but finding the actual drugs will cement this case closed.” “That’s awesome! Yeah, if it’ll help the PD, you can have whatever you want.” He stands, pulling out his phone to call someone. “I’m going to call my partner, Brantley, and see if we can schedule a meeting with our supervisor—” His words cut off before he finishes his sentence. He drops the call before anyone answers. “Shit,” he mutters. “What is it?” “A girl entered the house during our first stakeout who’s my supervisor’s daughter. We decided not to tell him, in case he confronted her about it. We were afraid she’d tell the leader the cops were onto him and ruin the case.” I blink a few times, wishing I could clear my head and force those memories out. “Was she young?” I ask. “She’s eighteen, I believe. So, if she’s involved in any way, she’d be tried as an adult. But depending on the level of her involvement, she could get time. Well, maybe. I’m sure my supervisor would pull some strings to just get her a slap on the wrist.” “Can’t you tell him about all the other details you have and just leave out the part with his daughter?” “Yeah, it’s my only option at this point. He’ll be pissed and probably give me some lecture about loyalty or some shit, but I don’t trust him to stay quiet. I’d rather she gets a slap on the wrist and a good scare than this guy go free because he was warned ahead of time.” My mind is still reeling from Logan’s revelation. I feel numb almost. Knowing that I was used as a pawn to secure their money and drugs has me in shock. Although I don’t remember any of it, the fact that it happened has me on the edge of my seat. I want to tell Allie to be careful and not get too close, but I know if she doesn’t get the job finished, it’ll be her ass on the line. Not to mention the owner would probably get suspicious and the whole thing would blow up in smoke. Logan apologizes and leaves before the movie even begins with all the new evidence and duffle bag, and once I start overthinking everything, I decide I need to clear my head. I take the dogs out for a walk and head down to Donny’s.

“Well, hello there!” Donny greets us as soon as we walk in. “Wasn’t expecting to see you again today.” I smile with a sigh. “I know. It’s been that kind of day.” I skip my donut this time and just get some for the dogs. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he calls out. I look over my shoulder and smile. “You sure will.” Going to Donny’s is the only constant thing in my life right now, as crazy as it sounds. I go to work and it all feels like a foreign country. New colleagues, new clients, a boss who treats me like a piece of leftover spinach in his teeth. Then I go home and I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror. I wouldn’t say I’ve aged much in the last two years but I’m not the same person. Courtney and Viola are both married and can’t just come over on a whim. My dogs and Donny’s. The only two things that remained the same. As I’m lying in bed analyzing the past few weeks of my life and wondering if I’ll ever get back to normal, my phone goes off with a text message from Logan. L: Sorry I didn’t message you sooner. I was going to call but didn’t want to wake you in case you were sleeping. Brantley and I documented all your photos and notes into evidence and should be awarded the search warrant. I know you don’t recall anything, but your photos and notes are going to be the reason we nail this case. So thank you for your help. I read his message twice and think about the way he kissed me before he left. It was a sweet, almost innocent kiss on the forehead, but it stirred something inside me. He’s been so patient with me. So understanding and flexible. He doesn’t push but still shows me how much he cares and even loves me by his actions. I don’t remember ever having that before. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like between us. Well, I have imagined it. Fantasized, maybe. But only because he’s so damn charming and fills out a pair of dress pants like no other man I’ve seen. He’s muscular in all the right places, and I can only predict how well he put those muscles to good use when we were in bed together. I may have lost part of my memory, but I’m not blind. I know the obvious attraction is there, but could I ever have feelings for him like that again? With those thoughts in my mind, I decide to message him back. K: I’m relieved I could help! Thank you for giving me some insight on that day and helping me come to those conclusions. I couldn’t go through this without you. I just wanted you to know that. Nervous, I hit send and set my phone back down on the nightstand. I wish he hadn’t left in such a hurry tonight, but I understand why he had to. I was hoping to kiss him goodnight. If the question was based on being attracted to him only, that’d be a no-brainer. I don’t see how anyone couldn’t be attracted to him, but what we had in the past was so much more than that. I know it’s what he deserves, and I think I owe it to both of us to see if the emotional parts of being in a relationship is something that is still between us, regardless of my memory.

L: You’ll always be my Angel. You’ll never have to go through anything alone because I’ll always be there for you. Don’t forget that. Reading his message sends tingles down my spine. It’s not the first time he’s said that to me—that he’ll always be there for me. Never having that kind of love and support growing up, I almost don’t know how to respond to his kind words. K: Goodnight, Detective. Good luck with your case. I silence my phone for the night and set my alarm for work in the morning. I make a mental note to speak with Allie first thing. I don’t want them putting her in danger like they did me, so without telling her the full details, I need to warn her. Two hours later and my brain is still running in circles. I can’t get Logan off my mind. Or the case. Or the fucking client. It’s starting to make me feel anxious, and I don’t remember ever feeling this anxious before the incident. Perhaps it’s something I’d been dealing with beforehand, but it feels new to me now. I toss and turn; the dogs jump off and on the bed getting annoyed with my restlessness. Checking the time, I see it’s almost one a.m. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, knowing waking up in six hours for work is going to suck. I decide to get up and grab a glass of water from the kitchen and indulge in one of Courtney’s blueberry muffins. Maybe a full stomach will help me fall asleep. Half an hour later and I’m still wide awake in my bed. This freaking sucks. Randomly, a memory pops into my head from before Viola and Travis were a couple. So, three or four years ago maybe. Courtney was giving Viola shit for all her booksleeves she hoards and being a book nerd always glued to her Kindle. That’s when Viola made the comment about Courtney storing her vibrator in one of her booksleeves and how it violated her precious BookBeau. I laugh at the memory, back when things were easy and less complicated. “I have insomnia sometimes, okay?” Courtney defends, but not at all apologizing about it. “A good O before bed can really turn your brain off and help you fall asleep.” “You’re such a pervert,” Viola teases, laughing. “What happened to just taking some Melatonin or drinking warm milk to help you fall asleep?” “Well for starters, Melatonin isn’t nearly as fun as screaming into your pillow and passing out a happy fucking camper.” I snort at their antics, wondering how two completely different people can be such great friends. “I’d have to agree with Courtney on this one,” I interrupt. “A good, intense O before bed would make me sleep like a bear hibernating in the winter.” “See?” Courtney motions to me with her hand. “She gets it.” “You’re both ridiculous and need therapy,” Viola says. “Now if only I could erase my memory of the past five minutes.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’m sure there’s a spell for that.” Courtney mocks her love for Harry Potter. “In fact, there is.” Viola smiles with pride. “Obliviate! A spell to erase memories.” “Well there you go,” I say with a laugh, waving an invisible wand and tapping it on Viola’s head. “Memories erased!” The memory makes me smile, and then I start wondering if Courtney had the right idea. I feel anxious and tense all the time, so maybe getting some relief is the answer. I don’t remember the last time I even had sex. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be with someone. Shaking the heavy comforter off, I position myself in the middle of the bed until I’m relaxed. I close my eyes and picture Logan. His bright, green eyes. His soft, delicious lips. His broad and muscular physique. His strong hands and arms. Before long, I’m panting at just the thought of his hands and lips on me. I lift my oversized shirt and slide my hand up to my breasts. I tossed my bra off hours ago, and my nipples are already hard from the ceiling fan circulating a breeze in the room. I forgot how sensitive my nipples are as I twist them between my thumb and finger. It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve been touched. I know my heart belonged to Logan Knight, but just the slightest touch is burning my insides, and now I know for sure my body remembers. My other hand slides down my stomach and reaches into my panties. They’re already wet from my arousal, and just the thought of Logan touching me there sends a harsh shiver down my body. I slide my finger up and down my slit, feeling how slippery it is and rubbing against my clit. Massaging my breasts and clit, I work my body until I feel an orgasm build. Thoughts of Logan invade my mind and the more I think of him, the faster I rub. Wandering thoughts of how it’d feel to be with him surface, and without warning, an intense and hard orgasm releases through me. I bite down on my lip to prevent from screaming and alarming the dogs, but I nearly rip my hair out as I ride it out. Once the wave passes, I lie on the bed, and all that can be heard is my heavy breathing. It’s a reminder I’m alone, but Courtney had one thing right. I feel much more relaxed now and finally fall asleep.

CHAPTER ELEVEN LOGAN As soon as I regretfully leave Kayla’s, I head to the station where I know Brantley is working the evening shift and tell him to come to my office and shut the door. “What’s going on?” he asks, rushed. “Remember when we saw Kayla leave the house with a black duffle bag?” I ask and he nods. “I found it at her house.” He gasps, both brows rise. “She had no idea it was there or what was in it,” I begin. “So, what was in it?” “It was paperwork and photos and samples from her job. She’s an interior designer, and they hired her to design a remodel.” “Well that’s not so bad considering what you thought—” I interrupt him before he continues. “It’s the proof we’ve been needing.” I smile in anticipation of what’s to come. “We’re going to need some backup for this.” I show him everything. Kayla’s pictures on her iPad. The notes. The explanation of the design. It’s all here. “I think we’ll need to continue around-the-clock stakeouts until we know the remodel is done and they fill up their stock. The more we find and pin on them, the longer the sentence we can get them.” “I can do nights all this week,” he offers. “Royal put me on bitch shift anyway, so might as well volunteer for the easy shit.” He laughs, although I know he’s pissed about being put on nights. “Good. I’ll do days and round up another for the remaining shift. Once their shipment comes in and they stock up their inventory, that’s when we get the warrant re-issued and serve.” “Sounds like a plan, boss,” he mocks with a salute. “Don’t flatter me, Hunter. Unless you like it when I boss you around?” I lick my lips and wink, knowing it’ll annoy the fuck out of him. “Fuck you. I’m leaving.” He stands up and heads for the door. I’m laughing my ass off just as the doors whips open and Supervisor Royal comes in. “Glad you two are both here. Sit,” he directs at Brantley. “We need to talk.” Two hours later, the three of us are exiting my office. Royal demanded an update, assuming I had one since I was in the office this late. I figured he’d be home by then, but

he nearly works around the clock. Never goes home when he’s supposed to. That’s probably why his young daughter gets away with what she does or why she does it in the first place. I show him everything Kayla found and explained her notes to him. He knows everything except for the part where his daughter’s involved. Hell, I don’t know what her involvement is but I’m not about to rock that boat and blow this case completely. He agrees to waiting until the remodel is done and doing stakeouts to watch for drug contents being brought into the house. If we can, getting them on camera would be enough evidence to sentence them, but figuring they’re probably smarter than that, they’ll park in the garage and unload everything first. The real goal is to wait until the house is full of drugs and money then serve them the search warrant. They’ll have no idea we’ll already know where to look. Royal is firm on sticking to our stakeout schedule. Day after day, I sit in my unmarked car and watch a house for eight hours straight. It gives me too much time to think, which I hate, but I tell Kayla to keep me entertained while I’m stuck here. K: What is faster? Hot or cold? I smile at her text. She’s been sending me random jokes and riddles all week long, which I kind of love. I’ll take any reason to talk to her and spend time with her, even if it’s over texting. L: I want to say…cold? K: Nope. Hot, because catching a cold is easy! Hahaha! I roll my eyes and snort. L: All right, you got me there. K: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? L: Because there’s too many cheetahs… K: You totally Googled that one. L: Maybe. K: So no action yet? L: Sadly, no. I’m so over sitting in my damn car. I have to piss so fucking badly, but Brantley hasn’t shown up yet to take my place. K: Wait. You’ve been holding it for eight hours every day? L: Well. Not exactly… let’s not talk about that. K: LOL!! Omg… you’ve been pissing in a bottle, haven’t you? L: Yes. Are you happy now? K: Why would you pissing in a bottle make me happy? L: Kayla… K: Kidding! Want me to bring you an extra bottle?

I love this. Chatting and making jokes gives me hope that everything is going to be all right. She seems more comfortable around me, which makes me think that maybe one day things could be where they were before the accident. L: As much as I appreciate the gesture, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t need her coming anywhere near this damn neighborhood again. K: Suit yourself. I’ll just be over here drawing myself a bath with really hot water and watching videos of waterfalls on YouTube. I bite my lip and shake my head. L: You’re evil. K: I prefer, devilishly charming. I don’t get a chance to respond because just as I look up, I see a large white van pull into the driveway of the drug house. It’s not one of their regular vehicles, but as soon as the garage door opens and it pulls inside, I get a feeling this is it. The garage door closes immediately after, and without seeing who drove, I can only make assumptions. However, I’m fairly certain this is a shipment from one of the big deliveries our undercover cops heard about. It’d been delayed, but now that the redesign is officially finished, it was only a matter of time. Just as I’m about to call dispatch and contact Supervisor Royal, Penelope’s car pulls up and parks in the driveway. Fuck, I mutter under my breath. I was really hoping she’d stay out of this while we busted them. She’s in a similar getup as before—six-inch heels, designer bag, and heavy makeup caked on her face—looking much older than seventeen. She enters the house the same way as before—walks right in without knocking. She’s obviously a part of this, and it makes my stomach sick just thinking about the load of shit she’s about to be in. The boy rushes out with determination written all over his young face. Getting a better look at him this time, he’s definitely no older than sixteen. Baggy pants, a band T-shirt, and a backwards cap gives so much away about him. Considering I’ve worked on dozens of drug cases and busted many people who looked “normal” and completely unsuspecting, I’ve learned it’s best to not judge someone based off their looks. However, we’ve already watched him deal drugs to people as they drive up, exchange, and leave in less than sixty seconds. He’s grabbing something in the back of her car, and I recognize it as the same black duffle bag as the one Kayla had, but I highly suspect it doesn’t contain paperwork and paint samples. If I could capture him doing another exchange, it’ll bring my whole theory together. Just as the boy slams the door shut, the father comes running out of the house and charges for the boy. “Holy fuck,” I mutter aloud, completely blindsided by his reaction. “What the fuck is going on?”

The father pushes the boy into the car and pins him by the neck. This case just went from a drug bust to a child abuse dispute. Knowing I’ll have to call it in now, I watch as Penelope Royal comes stumbling out of the house in her heels and screams at the father to let the boy go. She’s slapping him on the back and crying. Good Lord. This is fucking insanity. I call dispatch, telling them exactly what’s going on and what I witnessed. Just as I’m calling Supervisor Royal to get the team out here, I see the father roll his shoulder back and push Penelope off him. She trips and falls on her ass against the cement. Goddammit. Backup is on its way, but I’m not waiting. I gather my gear and draw my gun out as soon as my feet hit the pavement. I want to be ready for when the first squad car arrives so our suspects don’t flea. Crouching down behind some bushes, I slowly make my way toward the house. The shouting gets louder. The father continues to push the boy around while Penelope screams at them to stop. “Shut up, you fucking whore!” I hear him spit out at Penelope. “Were you always fucking both of us?” “Don’t fucking talk to her like that!” the boy shouts, grabbing the dad’s attention back to him. This just went from zero to Jerry Springer in less than five seconds. The father fists his hand at the neck of the boy’s shirt and swings his arm back. Penelope screams again and the boy ducks down just in time to wrap his arms around the dad’s waist and push him to the ground. They’re rolling around trying to punch and kick each other, and in the distance, I finally hear the sirens. Fortunately, I don’t think they can hear it just yet over all their shouting. Stepping out from behind the bushes, I stay down behind parked cars on the street. They’re not paying attention and are completely shocked when I yell at them to get down. My gun is drawn and the moment their eyes land on me, the yelling and fighting stops. “On the ground! Now!” I shout again, jerking my head down to the cement. “Lay flat on the ground. Hands up!” I order, and all three of them surrender their bodies to the ground. The sirens are louder now as five squad cars come racing down the street with their lights blaring. They surround the block with their cars and draw out their guns as they approach the scene. “Penelope!” Supervisor Royal. Fuck. “Daddy! Oh my God, Daddy! Help me, please!” she pleads, and when I glance over at him, he’s waiting for my approval. He knows the rules, but considering the only thing

Penelope is probably guilty of is having an affair with a man twice her age and cheating on him with his underage son, I doubt she’s dealing drugs. However, I don’t doubt for a second that they were both buying her gifts with their drug money. Brantley and another officer take over and grab the father and son, cuffing them both. They pull them from the ground and walk them to a squad car. Withdrawing my gun, I reach for the search warrant we were honored with once we had the pictures of the redesign and that was enough for drug speculation. I slap the warrant against the man’s chest and since his hands are restricted, I tuck it into his front shirt pocket. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he spits. “We have a warrant to search the premises. You’ll need to stay clear until we’re done.” “A search warrant? For what? We were just wrestling. Father and son stuff. We didn’t break any of your fucking laws.” “Cussing and swearing at an officer in front of your son. Nice.” I turn and walk away, but he shouts at me to wait. “What?” His eyes lower and guilt is written all over his face. He knows he’s in deep shit. Even if he had the redesign to hide his drugs and money, there’s no way he had time to hide it all before their fight broke out. He knows by the swarm of cops that we’ve been onto him and will find what we’re looking for. “My son goes free,” he mutters. “I’ll plead guilty for all of it; just don’t charge him. Please.” “I don’t think I can do that, sir. I have footage and photos of him exchanging drugs and money. He’s old enough to be tried as an adult if the court finds him guilty.” He swallows hard, his eyes averting to his son who’s standing next to him with his head down. “I’ll tell you my supplier,” he pleads. I arch a brow, intrigued. “I tell you and my son walks.” Glancing over at Brantley who’s been working on this case with me for weeks, he gives me a nod. Getting the supplier’s name and information would be worth much more than locking up a sixteen-year-old kid. It’d be huge. Three hours later, I’m finally back home. Completely exhausted, yet my mind is wide awake. I can’t stop thinking about everything that just happened. We found over twenty pounds of marijuana and cocaine, along with heroin and pills. It’s one of the largest busts we’ve had in years.

Everyone was in a great mood when we returned, except Supervisor Royal. He’s pissed beyond words, and I know better than to push those boundaries. He can deal with his daughter on his own because I’m staying out of that dilemma. The father was taken into custody for questioning. After working long hours this week, I’m ready to get back home. I decide to leave the paperwork for another day. As I’m walking out to my car, I call Kayla. “Hello?” she answers, sleepily. “Hey! Shit, did I wake you?” I hadn’t checked the time. “It’s okay. What’s up?” she asks with a smile. “Well, just thought you’d like to know that your pictures and notes helped take down a drug house.” “Really? You busted him?” Her voice perks up, obviously now more awake. “Sure did. Grown-ass man on his knees, begging and crying.” “Shut up. For real?” I laugh at her excitement. God, it feels good to hear her voice after the week I’ve had. For once, she was the one to rescue me. “I want to see you soon,” I tell her. It’s been days since we’ve been able to. “I think I can arrange for that to happen,” she tells me in a sultry voice. “Good,” I say with a smile although she can’t see me. I can’t help it though. The way she makes me feel never changed since I fell for her all those months ago. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? Get some sleep.” “Goodnight, Detective. Good work.” Her tone is flirtatious and it has me blushing like a lovesick teenage boy. “Goodnight, Angel.”

CHAPTER TWELVE KAYLA I wake up with a smile after hearing all about Logan’s drug bust, and I’m excited to see him again. I even leave for work early, but traffic was bumper to bumper on the interstate and made me ten minutes late. As soon as I walk in, my boss is leaning against my office door with a scowl on his face. It takes everything in my power not to ask what his problem is this morning. I swear he searches for things to complain about, and each day, that becomes more obvious. “Late again, Sinclair,” he says, tapping his watch. “I’m sorry. There was an accident on the interstate that was unavoidable.” I reach for the handle, making him move out of my way and don’t make eye contact as I walk into my office. He follows me inside almost as if he’s provoking me. I was in such a great mood and now it’s ruined. “Over the last few months, you’ve made coming into work late a habit.” He pulls the chair out in front of my desk and sits. Unfortunately, that tells me this isn’t a conversation that’s going to end well. “Mr. Huffman, I apologize. It wasn’t intentional.” I give him a sweet smile hoping this pulls him out of his funk, but he has it out for me today. After sipping his coffee loudly, he sets it down on my desk that’s currently scattered with designs I spent last week hand drawing. I lean over and clear a spot for his cup and place a coaster under it to avoid coffee rings on my hard work. Rude. Trying to ignore him, I sit at my computer and try to give him the hint that I’m ready to work for the day. “I’m going to have to write you up, Sinclair. I’ve already given you several warnings about this,” he tells me, grabbing his cup from the coaster and spilling coffee on my desk. He looks down at it then walks off without an apology or an inkling of concern. Anger bubbles inside me. I try counting to ten. I try sucking in a slow steady breath through my mouth and exhaling through my nose, but nothing calms me down. Over the last few days—weeks really—I’ve had time to think about how this job has ruined—and is currently ruining— my life. Going into people’s houses alone isn’t safe, and I’m not sure why I never realized how dangerous my job was before. I’m small and most people could overpower me easily. Not to mention, many of my customers act entitled as if I should drop to my knees and kiss the ground they walk on as soon as they enter a room. Those two things make me hate my job. Add in my dickhead boss, and well, it’s basically hell on earth for eight hours every day. For the next few hours, I write emails and find myself completely unmotivated. I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen when the answer to my problem is as clear as a California summer sky—I have to quit. Life is too short to spend every day being miserable making someone else rich.

Since I’ve returned to work, it’s been a living hell that I dread daily. Secretly, I’ve hoped these negative feelings would pass, but it’s come to the point where I feel as if my time is being wasted. Forty hours or more a week of my precious time could be spent making a real difference in people’s lives. That’s enough to make me storm into Huffman’s office right now and quit, but I don’t. The thought pulls deep inside me, and I can’t imagine myself doing this the rest of my life. Sure, it was my dream before, but people and dreams change. If anything, I’m a changed woman and feel as if I’m seeing my life more clearly than I ever have before. I have to do this for me. I have to do this for the girl I was a month ago that was too scared to take risks. Life is short. Memories may not last forever. Why not spend my time doing something I love? Questions flood my mind, and the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced quitting is a good idea. Instead of taking drastic measures, I quietly pack my pictures, thank you cards, and little things I’ve collected over the last four years of being at the firm. My bag is practically stuffed as I walk out to my car and text Courtney. K: Can you meet me for lunch? It’s kinda important. C: You bet your ass I will. Where? We decide to meet across town at a deli close to King Marketing where Courtney works. As soon as I see her, I can tell she’s in a better mood than last time. We walk inside, order a couple salads and sit in the far corner of the room. In no time, they’re delivered to our table. She smiles and tucks her blonde hair behind her ears. “So, what’s going on? I can tell something’s on your mind.” “I’m going to quit my job. Today. When I get back from lunch.” My voice is confident and I don’t dare waver in my decision until I see Courtney’s shocked. “…but I want to make sure I’m not losing my mind and making a bad decision,” I quickly add. Courtney swallows and meets my eyes. “Are you sure about this? That’s a pretty rash decision, Kay.” “It feels like I’m drowning in so much, and this is the only sure thing in my life right now. Have I ever said anything negative about my job? I just want to make sure my twomonth-ago me wouldn’t kick my ass if I did this.” I somewhat laugh but it’s not really that funny considering what I’m about to do. “From what I knew, you loved your job, but you were sometimes a little annoyed. You were good at what you did. When you helped me decorate and remodel some of the rooms in our house…” My eyes go wide. “I helped you?” “Well, of course. Why do you think my house looks like it came out of a Country Living magazine? You were a little neurotic with Pinterest boards and color flow though.” Courtney winks. I smile, happiness flooding me because I was able to help make my friend’s house a home, but Courtney isn’t my typical client—far from it, in fact.

“The truth is, I’m not happy. I want to do something different. Start a nonprofit for animals. Take the ones that are about to be euthanized and try to get them adopted. Become one of the only no-kill shelters in the area. It seriously pains me to know they each have an expiration date at the shelter, but I know the volunteers are doing the best they can. I just want to do more.” I look at Courtney who’s wearing a big cheesy grin. “Something I’m passionate about while actually making a difference.” “Then what the hell are you waiting for?” she asks with lifted eyebrows. “Sometimes you have to take risks to live a life that makes you happy. I have no doubt in my mind that you’d do great things. I mean, you are Sacramento’s best doggy dealer. We all have animals because of you.” I laugh in agreement. “I know you’d make a huge difference and you’d love every minute. Your happiness is what matters most.” “That really makes me happy to hear, Court. Just having it confirmed by another source rather than the voices in my head is vindication. Sometimes I wonder if I’m going crazy,” I admit, knowing she’ll understand what I’m saying. “You aren’t going crazy. You’re just seeing things in a different light now. So, tell me. Are you going to flip your boss off to his face? Cuss him out really good before you storm out in all your blaze of glory?” She might be a little too excited about this. Maybe more than I am. “I haven’t made up my mind yet. I kinda feel like burning that bridge to the damn ground after how he’s treated me today.” I take a sip of my water because my mouth is going dry. With every second that passes, it becomes more real that I’m going to do this. I look down at my phone and see I’m already twenty minutes past my lunch break, and I’m sure Huffman will be waiting for me when I return. Instead of rushing, Courtney and I finish eating and then say our goodbyes. “Once you’ve done it and you’re free from corporate hell, let me know. We need to celebrate you being a badass,” Courtney says across the parking lot as she walks toward her Jeep. “I will!” The smile on my face feels permanent. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this content with my decision. Before heading back to the office, I take the top off the Mustang and allow the wind to blow through my hair. By the time I return to work, I’m over an hour late from lunch and give no fucks about it. I walk into the office like I own the place. As soon as I sit down at my desk to clear my files, one of the interns lets me know Huffman would like to see me. Instead of rushing to his office, I make him wait as I finish cleaning off my desk. Once I have everything packed, Huffman storms in and slams the door shut. The sound echoes through the building, and I know everyone is wondering what’s going on. He’s carrying a pink slip of paper in his hand, my official write up. Slamming it on my desk, he pushes it toward me and I just smile at him. “Don’t you know how to follow directions? Haley told me she let you know I needed to see you over thirty minutes ago.” His face is blood red and I can tell he’s pissed, but I

just continue to smile. I pick up the pink slip and it’s got all the dates I’ve been late for the last three months. I go down the list knowing that I must have subconsciously hated my job, although I never did anything about it. Just as he’s staring at me, I grab the slip and rip it into confetti pieces. He scoffs, his face contorting as if he’s possessed, and all I can do is laugh. “Huffman, I quit. You can take this job and shove it straight up your rude ass.” I don’t raise my voice. I don’t lose control. Instead, I stay calm and grab my stuff before walking out of my office. Huffman follows me down the hallway. “You can’t quit!” I turn around and look him dead in the eyes just as people begin to crowd. “I can do whatever I want. You don’t own me. And until you start learning how to treat people with respect, that entrance is going to be a revolving door,” I tell him. Glancing over, I see Lucy beaming. I know she’s halfway tempted to give me a round of applause for finally sticking up for myself. Apparently, I’ve been passive over the last few years. As soon as I step outside, the sun beams down on me as happiness radiates through me. Maybe it’s out of habit, but Logan is the first person I call. “I just quit my job,” I say quickly as I walk to my car. My voice is elated, and I can’t stop smiling ear to ear. There’s silence on the other end. “Are you feeling okay?” Logan asks. I hear concern wrapped in his tone. “Truthfully, I’m freaking out a little, but I checked my bank account, and apparently I did a really good job of saving over the last few years so I should be okay until I figure out my next step.” More silence. “This conversation just became really awkward.” I shut the door to my car and crank it. “Sorry, just shocked, I think. I thought you enjoyed your job. You were really good at it.” Logan’s words make me somewhat second-guess my decision because he knows me better than anyone. “But if you weren’t happy, I totally understand,” he adds. Relief floods through me. “Thank you. I wasn’t. I’ve got some big plans I want to tell you about.” My phone starts buzzing as I sit in the parking lot and I pull it away from my ear and see Courtney’s blowing me up with text messages. I instantly start laughing. “Sorry, Courtney is planning a get together tonight to celebrate me being a badass or something. Are you free?” “I am. Text me the details. I’ll be there.”

“Great, I will.” And before we end the call, he continues. “And Kayla? You are a badass.” I laugh. “Thanks, Logan.” I don’t know why, but I needed to hear that from him today. We say our goodbyes, and I promise to let him know what’s going on though I know Courtney’s probably already texted the entire gang with the plans. On the drive home, I almost can’t believe what I just did. I quit my job. Starting now, I’m officially on my own clock and can do the things I want. It’s freeing. Courtney plans for us to get together at Good Times and it feels more like old times. We used to go and dance our asses off there on the weekends right after college graduation. I let Logan know and he informs me Courtney’s already threatened him into going. That makes me laugh; she has my back no matter what. She always has. Hours pass, and I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. Maybe when I adopted my fur babies or finished school with honors, but this is different. I feel alive. Before getting ready to meet everyone, I decide to pour a glass of celebratory wine then go to the bathroom, fill the tub full of hot water and thrown in a bath bomb. Relaxing, I sink down in the tub and think about everything that’s happened today. My thoughts turn to Logan and that damn kiss fills my mind again. I’d never been kissed with such fervor, and I’m still reliving it. Once the water turns cold, I get out of the tub and head back into my room to get dressed. Knowing we’re going out means dressing up, so I choose a skirt and low-cut silk blouse. I curl my hair and apply smokey eyes and red lipstick. Glancing in the mirror in my bedroom, I look as fierce as I feel, and that makes me smile with confidence. The time passes quickly, and after I finish getting ready, I head out to Good Times. I park, grab my phone, and walk inside. As soon as I walk through the door, Courtney, Drew, Viola, Travis, and Logan all give me a big applause, along with hoots and hollers. I blush in embarrassment at the attention, but smile and laugh nonetheless. Courtney rushes over to me and links her arm in mine as she escorts me to the table they have near the bar. My eyes meet Logan’s and when he smiles at me, I feel nervous. Heat rushes to my cheeks, and I’m thankful the room is dimly lit. “So, tell us everything,” Courtney says, sipping a glass of water. I explain exactly how it went down and everyone is smiling and laughing. It feels good to be with them, to be in their company, and if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine how our lives used to be before the accident. When I glance at Drew, I can see how much he loves Courtney and it warms my heart to know they finally found each other. A waitress walks up and I order a dirty martini. Once it’s in my hand, I drink half of it. Logan watches me as I down the rest and head to the dance floor with Courtney and Viola. “I feel like we’re in college again,” I yell over the music.

Courtney dry humps my leg and laughs the whole time. Viola shakes her head at Courtney but that only encourages her to go over to Viola and give her leg some lovin’. Every guy in this place is watching us dance on each other right now and that makes me laugh even harder. One of those slow couple songs starts playing and Drew and Travis walk onto the dance floor toward their ladies. Just as I begin to walk back to our table, my hand is grabbed and I’m spun around. I’m met with bright green eyes that have heat and passion behind them. “Where do you think you’re going?” Logan leans down and whispers in my ear. I let out a breath. “Back to the table. I-I didn’t think you wanted to dance with me.” He looks down at me, and I instinctively lick my lips remembering how he tasted. “Oh, Angel. I’d dance with you until the sun rises.” He winks, placing his hands on my hips as if he’s claiming me and pulls me close enough for our bodies to touch. I close my eyes, allowing the music to whisk us away to somewhere else where it’s just him and me. We’re in sync with one another, and I stiffen when I feel his hardness press against me. Holy shit. I swallow hard and am almost thankful the slow song ends and something more fast-paced comes on. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers in my ear before walking back to the table where Courtney is chatting about how she might quit her job too. Considering she works for Travis, it’s extra funny. She lives to give him a hard time. “I think you need a shot,” Courtney says, seeing how flushed my face is, but that’s for good reason. Logan is…well equipped. And he was mine. God, if I ever wished I could remember the past, it’s now. Right now. Courtney hands me a shot of tequila and I do the routine with the salt and lime. It burns as it goes down, but I don’t complain. It’s exactly what I need to get my mind off things that I shouldn’t be thinking about, like Logan’s huge… After another martini, I start feeling the effects of the alcohol. Tonight is exactly what I’ve been missing. To have friends that care about me so much makes me feel loved. I’ll forever be grateful for their friendship. The night passes so quickly with all the dancing and chatting, and around one a.m., we’re all ready to leave. I open my app, ready to schedule an Uber when Logan playfully takes my phone and locks it before handing it back to me. “I can drive you home,” he offers with a sexy smirk. The alcohol is giving me a little too much courage and I try to hold back everything I want to say. Somehow, I manage. I tilt my head and admire his full lips, chiseled jaw, and messy hair. He watches me linger on his mouth before I meet his eyes. “Always my Knight in shining armor.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN LOGAN I don’t know why I fucking torture myself. Touching her, feeling her body against mine, watching her dance is putting ideas in my head that shouldn’t be there. I know we’re taking this slow, being friends, and although we’ve only been on one date—that she remembers—I can’t control the temptation that’s right in my face. It’s as if she knows what she’s doing to me all over again. “You okay?” I ask as I watch her press her cheek to the window. “Yeah, I’m fine. The cold glass feels good against my face.” I can tell she’s hot from dancing all night, but fuck if that makes this whole situation worse. “If you feel like you’re going to vomit, I can pull over,” I tell her, unsure if she’ll be able to hold her alcohol or not. She giggles as she tilts her head back and closes her eyes. “Why do I have a feeling there’s a story there.” I chuckle, shaking my head. “No story.” She glances over and narrows her eyes as if she doesn’t believe me. I wink at her and within a few minutes, I’m pulling into her driveway. “Come on, Abba,” I tease, opening up the car door for her. “Let’s get you inside.” “Hey, I am the Dancing Queen!” She chuckles as she stands and starts shimmying her hips. “I think it’s time for you to retire.” Grabbing her hand, I lead her to the door and enter the key code. The three amigos come barking as we walk inside. They sniff us, and once we make our way to the kitchen, they lose interest and go back to sleeping on the couch. “Should I make you some coffee?” I ask. “You’re going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.” “I didn’t drink that much,” she insists. “I only had one. And it’s not like I have to go to work.” I arch a brow, challenging her. “Okay, one plus three. But I’m fine.” She tries holding her stance and I see her struggling to stand on her high-heels. “Says every drunk who can’t stand straight.” I chuckle, grabbing a couple glasses out of her cupboard. “It’s these damn shoes, okay?” She bends down quickly, reaching for her foot and when she stands up straight, she smacks her head against the counter. “Fuck!” she hisses.

I run and catch her before she falls to the floor. She stumbles into my arms, holding a hand over the spot she smacked her head. “You okay?” “Yeah, I think so.” She rubs her head and starts laughing. “That’s going to hurt in the morning.” Her laughter causes me to laugh. “I think everything’s going to hurt tomorrow.” She sighs and holds onto me tighter. “Always saving me, aren’t you?” “Well…” I smile. “I’m starting to wonder how you ever managed before you met me?” She looks up at me, her eyes soft and sincere. “I’m starting to see I never did.” Before I can respond to that, she leans in, grabbing my face with one hand and kisses me. It takes me completely off guard and just as I pull back—because I know she’d been drinking and don’t want her to regret anything in the morning—she cups my face harder. I can’t deny her or the amazing way she tastes, even if her lips are a mixture of alcohol and her strawberry lip gloss. Parting her lips with my tongue, I sink deeper into her mouth and groan when I feel her body shiver against mine. “Fuck, Angel,” I hiss against her. “You can’t kiss me like that.” I shift my groin because it’s getting confused the more she kisses and wiggles against me. “Why not?” she asks in a sultry voice. She knows exactly why not. I exhale a deep breath, trying to get my dick to calm the fuck down. “Because when you kiss me like that, my mind gets all fucked up and I won’t be able to stop.” “What if I don’t want you to stop?” She’s getting brave from the alcohol, and as much as I want to sink deep inside her, I know she’s not in the right mindset. “Angel, please.” I close my eyes, nearly begging. “You’re drunk. I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’ve been drinking.” She presses a kiss to my lips once again, and I don’t have the strength to stop her this time. “Help me remember, Logan.” Her words unravel me, and I’m not strong enough to deny her even if I’m the one that’ll get hurt in the end. Wrapping her in my arms, I pull us up until we’re standing. “Are you sure?” I whisper, resting my forehead against hers. “It’s not too late to change your mind.” She places her palms against my cheeks and shifts my face until our eyes connect. “Please.” Her soft voice is a whisper, filled with confidence. I don’t second-guess her this time as I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her up until her legs wrap around me. I hear her shoes fall off her feet and then my mouth is on hers before I walk us out of the kitchen. I’ve memorized the layout of her house and don’t even come up for air until we’re in her room and I kick the door shut behind us.

Setting her down, I peel off my shirt and she rushes to unbutton my jeans. My cock is throbbing already, and I remind myself to hold back because I plan to take my time with her. I don’t know if this will ever happen between us again, and I’m not about to take it for granted. Wasting no time, she pulls my cock out of my shorts and begins stroking it. I nearly combust when she kneels down in front of me and trails her tongue along the shaft. “Fuck,” I groan, grabbing her long hair and wrapping it around my hand. “You’re so fucking good at that.” “Yeah?” She looks up at me and smiles. “I can see why I was fond of it.” “Don’t make me laugh,” I say, laughing. “In fact, take off all your clothes.” Her lips tilt up into a flirty smirk and she stands back up, removing her shirt. Her tits look amazing and when my eyes drop down to her stomach, she removes her skirt, revealing a very tiny piece of fabric underneath. I begin taking off my shoes and clothes until I’m completely naked. Her eyes roam all over my body and a small smirk appears over her face. “It’s not very polite to stare, you know?” I tease, kicking my clothes to the side. She takes a step closer and palms my cock in her hand. “I don’t plan to be very polite, so if that’s what you’re used to, you might want to prepare yourself.” Holy fuck. “Thank God your sexual drive wasn’t forgotten,” I mock, grabbing her hand and pulling it off me. As much as I want to feel her touch, I also don’t want to explode in less than five seconds because that’s what it feels like right now. “But tonight, is about reminding you.” She sucks in and bites her lower lip. I already know her body responds to mine anytime I touch or kiss her, but those are all physical reactions. I want her mind to remember the way I touched her, kissed her, loved her. “Lay on the bed,” I demand, shifting my eyes behind her. She obliges, walks to the bed and settles in the middle. I kneel at the edge of the bed and press a soft kiss to her ankle. I switch legs and kiss her other ankle. Pressing my lips a few more inches up her legs, she wiggles underneath, letting me know she’s getting impatient. Standing up, I wrap my hands around both ankles and spread her legs apart. She squeals in surprise and laughs. “Better?” I arch a brow and smirk. “Greedy and impatient, aren’t you?” My hand slides up between her legs and finds her clit. I begin rubbing over the fabric of her panties. Closing her eyes, her head falls back with a small moan. I circle my thumb faster and realize she could probably come within a couple minutes at how swollen and wet she is already.

I spy her sleep mask hanging from her nightstand drawer and an idea hits me. Reaching over, I grab it and settle back in between her legs. “Here,” I say, pulling her up so I can wrap it around her head. “Wear this.” She narrows her eyes and gives me a weary look. “Why?” Grabbing her jaw, I bring her lips to mine for a kiss. “Because I want you to remember how I made you feel and focus on our bodies. Think you can do that for me, Angel?” Biting down on her lower lip, she nods and slips the mask over her eyes. I press my mouth to hers and wait for her to relax against me before I explore her body. Unhooking her bra, I pinch her pink, taut nipples, and she lets out a whimper. I toss it to the side and cup her breast in my palm while sucking the other one into my mouth. Her fingers fist in my hair and she pulls the harder I suck. “Logan?” “Yes, Angel?” I kiss a trail up her chest and neck. “Did it always feel this way when we were together?” she asks, her hips arching to seek relief. I smirk, although she can’t see me. Pressing a soft kiss against her lips, I reply, “We’ve barely begun, baby.” Pinning her arms to the bed, I run my tongue along her jaw and inhale her scent. I scrape my teeth along her neck and alternate with kisses until I make my way down her stomach. Pulling the fabric aside, I waste no time sinking a finger deep inside her. Her hips buck as if she’s trying to pull me in deeper. She’s so tight and it takes all the willpower in the world to hold back. “Oh my God,” she moans, arching her back. Leaning down, I flick her clit with my tongue and finger fuck her pussy. Tasting so fucking good, I barely pause for air. Her body responds so easily. “Your body remembers, baby. You feel that?” I sink two fingers back inside her and suck hard on her clit. “Fuck, it does,” she admits, arching her hips and pushing her body closer into mine. “It never responded this way before. Ever.” I smile, secretly happy to hear that. Placing a kiss on her stomach, I crawl up her body and press my lips to hers. “Your body remembers when I first made love to you.” Another kiss. “You could barely contain yourself. So fucking wet and nearly begging to have me inside you. Your body craved me then, just how it craves me now. You know what that means, Angel?” “Tell me, Detective.” She squeezes her fists tighter. “The memory of us is still in your mind somewhere. The way your body responds to me is the same way it did that first time and every time after that. Our connection wasn’t merely physical. It was so much deeper.”

When I look up, she’s biting her lip. “I’d do anything to remember, Logan. So please, don’t be gentle with me because you think I won’t be able to handle it.” I groan internally, already knowing she likes it rough, but she’d been drinking and the last thing I want is for her to wake up tomorrow morning and regret her decision. “Hang onto the bed railings, baby.” She wraps her hands around the railings and I slide her panties down her legs. Tossing them to the floor, I part her legs with my knee and spread them. Sinking my fingers back inside her, I rotate my wrist and feel how soaking wet she is. I pump my dick with my other hand, hard and nearly bursting before I even get inside her. Deciding I’m going to give her exactly what she’s asked for, I slide my body off the bed and stand at the end near her feet. Grabbing onto her ankles, I flip her over onto her stomach without warning. She yelps in surprise and says a couple curse words as I grab her hips and pull her ass up. Her arms twist but she’s quick to straighten them and hang back onto the railings. “Holy fuck,” she mutters, keeping her head down and ass up. I shift my body behind hers and rub my hand along her pussy. Sliding a finger in and out of her, I pump my dick again and enter her slowly from behind. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. Her tight body nearly squeezes my dick off, and it’s going to take all the willpower in the world to not lose control. “You feel that, Angel?” “Yes. Oh God, yes.” She arches her back even more for me, allowing me to slide my dick in deeper. “Our bodies were made for each other, Kayla. Always were. Always will be.” Our bodies move in sync, and I feel her tighten around me. I wrap my hand around her waist and rub her clit with my fingers. She’s unraveling fast, her moans growing louder with each second. “Yesyesyes…” she mutters over and over. I can tell she’s close, so I slap her ass and increase the pace. “Oh my God… fuck,” she screams. Her pussy clenches and I know she’s close. Within seconds, she’s screaming out my name and grasping my dick so fucking hard, I nearly come undone. “That’s my girl,” I say, bending over and kissing along her spine. “So fucking tight, baby.” I pull her body up, wrap my arms around her waist and hold her there as I kiss along her neck and jawline. “You feel that?” I whisper in her ear, palming her breasts. She moans in response, her head falling back against my shoulder. “That’s us, Angel.”

KAYLA

My legs nearly give out as my body chases another orgasm. Logan’s hold is so tight on me, I know he’ll be able to catch me if they do. The way he whispers in my ear sends shivers down my body, and I don’t want him to stop anytime soon. I want to remember. I want to remember everything. The way it feels right now, I know I could easily become addicted, but I want those memories of our past. The sleep mask covering my eyes keeps my body on alert as I allow myself to only feel. I feel everything he’s giving me and more. I can feel his outpouring love and my body responds to his in a way I’ve never felt before. Nearly losing control, my body unravels against him, and I swear I hear him whisper I love you in my ear, but I don’t have much time to think on it because as soon as my body tightens around him, he’s flipping me back over. “You thought I was done with you?” he mocks. My breathing is hard and rapid. “I don’t know how I ever survived you,” I tease, holding onto the sheets for balance. Feeling him tower over me, my legs part and wrap around his waist as he sinks back inside me. “It was always the other way around, Angel.” Every time Logan says something so sweet, my heart beats a little faster and the guilt of not being able to recall our past hits me a little harder. His love for me is so evident, I only want to be able to reciprocate those feelings. I have no doubt in my mind that I could fall back in love with Logan Knight. He’s amazing in every sense of the word. “Can I look at you?” I ask, needing to see the way he looks at me. “Please?” I beg. “Yeah, baby. Of course.” Slowly, he brushes the sleep mask over my head and when my eyes peel open, I see the lust in his eyes. His green eyes hold us together as our bodies mold together and sync in rhythm until another orgasm builds. Holy shit. I don’t remember ever having multiple orgasms with a guy before. Ever. “Fucking Christ,” he mutters as my legs wrap higher on his waist. He’s in so deep, I know he’s only minutes away from his own release. “I don’t want to stop, baby. But fuck. It’s so hard to control myself with you.” I don’t know why, but his words send a rush of heat to my cheeks. His body goes stiff, and I know he’s close. Arching my hips, I meet his thrusts until his body goes rigid. Palming his face, I lower his lips to mine and kiss him as fiercely as our bodies unravel together. We lay together under tangled sheets as our hearts beat together as one. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my entire life. If this is what it’s been like the past six months, no wonder I was so happy. Logan attends to my every need and desire physically. I can only imagine how it was when I was head-over-heels in love with him, too. “I think I’m going to take a shower,” I tell him, throwing my legs off the bed. “Want to join?” I ask him over my shoulder. “Considering you have alcohol in your system and your legs are probably weak, I should be in there for safety concerns.” He winks.

“Well, c’mon, Detective. I’m feeling awfully dirty.” He nearly chases me out of the room and catches me around the waist just as I make it into the bathroom. I throw my head back and laugh at his eagerness to get me in the shower. Even though it’s late, I’m wide awake now with Logan’s hands and lips all over me. Taking my loofah from the shower caddy, Logan rinses it under the hot water and lathers it up with soap. “Turn around,” he demands, spinning me around by my shoulders. “I like to be thorough in my investigations.” I grin as I do what I’m told. The alcohol has completely worn off and now the only buzz I feel is coming straight from Logan Knight. He massages the loofah over my shoulders, slowly and softly, feathering it down each arm and making sure he doesn’t miss an inch of flesh. It feels amazing against my skin, the way he’s so attentive and patient. Moving it down my back, he massages in small circles as he makes his way down my spine and to my ass. I feel him kneeling behind me and when he spreads my legs, I rest my hands on the shower wall for support. He massages along my legs and ass cheeks, using his free hand to steady me. His movements are seductive and taunting because all I want right now is for him to slide back inside me and fuck me. Once he’s satisfied that I’ve been properly washed, he spins me around and washes the front of my body. Carefully, he massages the loofah over each breast and pinches my nipple till it’s hard. He flashes a pleased smile as he makes his way down my stomach and slides his hand between my legs, separating them once again. I rest my hands on his shoulders, balancing myself because the closer his fingers get to my pussy, the dizzier I become. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this clean before,” I tease, watching him on his knees in front of me, thoroughly washing my legs and feet. “It’s a shame you’re about to get dirty again.” His white teeth flash up at me, a knowing grin surfacing over his gorgeous face. Once the loofah is completely out of soap, he grabs the shower head extension and rinses me off. Closing my eyes, I roll my head back on my shoulders and enjoy the way the hot water feels against my body. He lowers the shower head and aims it directly on my clit. “Oh my God,” I squeal, my eyes popping open. “We’ve had a lot of fun with this.” He winks, smiling when my knees nearly buckle from underneath me. “Let me remind you just how much.” And he does.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN LOGAN In a panic, I wake up breathing hard. For a moment, I don’t know where I am, but then realization sets in as I look around the room decorated with pictures of Kayla with her animals. Not to mention the dogs scattered around the bed. I lay back down, heart pounding, and try to catch my breath. I’m at Kayla’s. In Kayla’s bed. Memories of last night flood in like snapshots from a camera, which cause me to smile. That happened. All of that happened. And I’m wondering if I’m stuck in a dream. Kristoff notices I’m awake and decides he wants to jump around at the end of the bed. Kayla’s dogs are trained; if they even suspect you’re awake, they know it’s time to go outside. I whisper for him to stop so he doesn’t wake Kayla who is peacefully sleeping next to me. “Just one sec,” I whisper again as he moves closer to me. Rolling over on my side, I take the moment to admire the beautiful woman that’s sleeping naked next to me. Her skin is smooth like silk and she looks so peaceful with the sheets sloppily wrapped around her body. Groaning at Kristoff, who is brushing his cold nose against my back, I turn and point my finger. Being a terror, he jumps off the bed with a bark and waking the rest of the little monsters. They bolt out of the bedroom, and I hear their nails tapping across the wooden floor. Though I know they’re antsy in the mornings, I take another brief minute to kiss my Angel on the forehead before quietly slipping out of bed. I slip my boxer shorts on and head toward the back door. Once I open it, they all take off running outside. Fog still covers the grass and the early morning sun is barely awake. The dogs are in a special kind of mood this morning, and I hope they aren’t extra hyper when I feed them. Maybe they believe everything is back to normal, too. It’s been awhile since I’ve stayed the night, and before everything happened it had become our routine to take turns sleeping at each other’s houses. I’ve missed this; all of it. Deep down in my heart, I know it’s not the same, but just for today—for these few minutes—I want to pretend it is. Once the dogs are finished with their morning sniff and pee ritual, I pour food into their bowls and throw a few treats around the house, hoping it’ll keep them busy. As they eat, I walk quietly back to the bedroom where Kayla is still asleep. I crawl under the sheets and she moans against my cold body before she settles back to dreamland. Wrapping my arms around her, she leans into me and her bare ass presses against my morning wood. “Fuck,” I whisper under my breath, wanting to touch her all over, but trying to keep some sort of control. I’m halfway tempted to take care of the urge myself, but I hold off. “Mmm,” she moans again, and the quiet sound of her voice drives me crazy. Rolling over, her eyes flutter open and she instantly smiles. The activities of last night are still present on her face and swollen lips.

“Morning, Detective.” Her voice is low and sultry as she lifts the sheets to get a good look at what she was pressing her ass against. I’m rock hard, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Kayla does that to me. She lifts her eyebrow and licks her lips. I smirk. “Morning, babe.” “Can I have you for breakfast?” she asks, her nipples creating tall peaks under the sheets, and I know there’s no way I can deny her. When it comes to Kayla Sinclair, I’m weak as fuck. I’d give this woman whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it. I don’t even have to answer before she has my cock in her hand, giving me long strokes. Leaning against the pillows, I can watch her. Seductively, she scoots her body down the bed and when she places me in her mouth, I know it won’t take long before I’m losing control again. My cock throbs as she licks from the bottom of my shaft to the tip and pays extra attention to my balls, before placing them in her mouth. She’s never done that before, and I’m shocked at how much she’s enjoying this. Her tongue is warm and wet and drives me to the edge. It almost becomes too much as she takes her time sucking and stroking and humming against my cock. Running my fingers through her hair, I let out a groan knowing she needs to stop now before it’s too late. “Fuck, Kayla.” I let out a moan, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the pillows. As soon as I take my eyes off her, she crawls up my body and straddles me. She’s pure fucking perfection as her wet pussy swallows me whole. Kayla’s head rolls on her shoulders as she takes me all in. Rocking her hips, she rides me slowly, then aggressively. Leaning forward, I grab her nipple between my teeth before sucking and gliding my tongue against it. Though I allow her to take over, I place my hands on her hips, steadying her before my thumb rubs over her clit as she fucks me with raw emotion. Her pants and moans quickly fill the room, and I know I won’t be able to hold back much longer as her pussy squeezes my dick. She throws her head back, losing herself on me. “I’m not done with you yet,” I whisper, which causes a devious smile form across her swollen lips. I move her from my body and flip her over on all fours. “How hard can you fuck me?” she asks, with her ass in the air. “Can you break me, Detective?” Her wet slit glistens and she’s soaking fucking wet. Teasing the outside of her opening with the tip of my dick, she tries to force me inside. “You’re a greedy little thing,” I growl before smacking her round perky ass. “Some things don’t change.” I smile as I remember how wild it makes her when a little pain is mixed with her pleasure. Before I give her what she wants, I run my finger down her wet slit before placing it inside. She looks over her shoulder at me and I place that finger willingly in my mouth, tasting her arousal. Not being able to hold off any longer, I grab her hips and thrust inside her with one long stroke. Moaning out in pleasure, begging for more, she buckles beneath me. Pressing her ass against me, she wants it as hard as I can give it to her.

“Don’t hold back,” she begs between pants, and within seconds, an orgasm sneaks up on her and takes over her body. “Oh my…” she says, burying her face in a pillow, riding the orgasm as far as it will take her. My movements become more rhythmic along with our breathing. Her pants sound like music to my ears and for the second time in twenty-four hours, I lose myself in her. After we’re cleaned up, we lie in her bed like a tangled mess and stare at the ceiling. “Well, I’m done for the day,” Kayla says with a laugh. I open my arms and she allows me to hold her. Like old times, she draws shapes on my bare chest. “Let me make you breakfast,” I tell her, running my fingers down her arm. She looks up at me and lays her head on my chest, listening to my heart. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Just as that thought crosses my mind, she pops her head up and her gaze meets my eyes. “Okay, but today I want to play a game.” She smiles like she’s up to something. “A game?” I ask her with a lifted eyebrow. “Yeah, it’s called, Ask Me Anything. There’s things I want to know about you, since you basically know everything about me already. So, a question for a question. And you have to be completely honest no matter what.” I search her sweet face, knowing this will make her happy and agree to play the game. “So, for twenty-four hours, we can ask each other anything. No lying. And I don’t care what the doctor says. I need to know things. Deal?” “Deal,” I say, pinching her ass and causing her to squirm and laugh. “Now let me cook you breakfast.”

KAYLA I’ve experienced the most mind-blowing sexcapades of my life in the last twenty-four hours. This morning, I don’t know what came over me. It was more than a want with Logan; it was an internal need so strong that it took over my mind and body. However, I’m not complaining at all. Though the chemistry between us is evident, the emotional bond isn’t quite there yet. However, the physical attraction is overpowering, and I don’t want to hold back those desires any longer. I stand in the kitchen and lean against the counter as he makes bacon, eggs, and a can of biscuits I didn’t even know I had out of my fridge. I find myself admiring all the muscles that cascade down his back. His pants haphazardly hang from his hips and I can’t stop gawking. “Okay, I’ve got my first question,” I tell him. He turns and looks at me with lifted eyebrows and a smirk, then goes back to cooking.

“Go for it,” Logan says, and I can tell he’s smiling even though I’m back to staring at his cute ass. “Have you ever been in a serious relationship before?” I ask. “Yes. Once before. It didn’t end well though. But we’re kind of friends now.” He doesn’t say anything else about it. His answer is short and to the point, and I don’t want to pry too deep so I take it at face value, but I’m sure he’s referring to his child’s mother. I move around the bar until I’m closer to him and snake my hands around his waist. Logan stills, then relaxes. Honestly, I haven’t shown him any real affection until last night so I’m sure my touch is a shock. “So, my turn to ask you a question?” he asks, as he piles bacon and scrambled eggs on our plates along with biscuits. I nod with a smile before grabbing forks from the drawer and sitting at the table. Logan sits across from me with messy hair and kind eyes. My heart does this flutter thing and I wonder what all this really means. “You said I could ask anything?” Logan asks before cutting a biscuit in half and eating it. “Yep, anything,” I say with confidence since he already knows everything. He hesitates for a moment and it starts to make me a tad nervous. “Why didn’t you tell me or anyone your birthday was on Christmas day? You love that holiday so much.” I tuck my lips into my mouth wondering if this game was the best one to play, considering I don’t remember everything I have or have not told him. Honestly, I believed it would be easy since I thought he already knew everything there was to know about me. But obviously, there are some things I kept from him. To give me more time to gather my thoughts and words, I chew slowly. “Honestly?” I ask. Logan nods. “My birthday was never a big deal when I was a kid. No one cared. After years of not celebrating my birthday, I realized that it wasn’t important. Christmas always came before the foster kid. So, instead of making a big deal about it, I learned at a young age to not say a word and just pretend it was another day and enjoy the little happiness I had. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. It probably didn’t cross my mind, honestly. Old habits die hard, I guess.” My answer is raw and true, and I see a sparkle of pity in his eyes before I change the subject. I dislike that pity. Always have. “Breakfast is delicious. Thank you. Can’t remember the last time I had a meal like this,” I say. “Trust me when I say this was a normal occurrence.” Logan winks at me, and that’s when I feel a cold nose brush against my leg. “Go on!” I tell the three dogs that are crowded under the table waiting for a single morsel to be dropped. “So, it’s my turn to ask another question now! What’s one of the biggest regrets of your life?” I ask.

“Allowing you to go into that house that day.” Logan doesn’t hesitate before answering. “If I could change it all, I would in a second. Consequences of the job be damned.” My heart does that flutter thing again, and it slightly confuses me because I find myself wanting to feel those unknown feelings. It’s obvious he’s so damn perfect for me. I don’t have those deep emotions for him yet, but I’m willing to work toward what we had. They’re somewhere inside me. I just hope what I can give him right now is enough. “So, what do you want to do today?” Logan asks. “You,” I slyly throw in. “And that was a question so it’s my turn again!” I stand up to place my plate in the sink and he gets up laughing and comes after me. As soon as he starts tickling me, the dogs begin to bark. “No fair guys. You’re supposed to be on my team,” he tells the dogs, placing his plate in the sink. He then takes the opportunity to grab at my waist and pull me close, causing me to let out a playful yelp. “They’re always team Kayla,” I say, trying to tickle him back but his stomach muscles are too hard, and he doesn’t seem ticklish at all. His eyes seem to darken and he bites the corner of his lip. “I’m always team Kayla, too.” “Do you have any plans today?” I ask, staring into his eyes. “That’s a question, and no. Just to be with you. Let’s go somewhere.” I nod with a smile. “I’ll go anywhere with you.” Logan searches my face before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on my lips. I breathe him in, all of him, and I know exactly why the previous me fell so hard. No matter what, he seems to put me first—over himself—and tries to make me happy. Logan Knight is truly selfless. After I see my reflection in the mirror and realize I look like a sex-crazed mess, I tell him I’d like to take a shower. Instead of waiting around for me or even joining me, he decides to go home and take care of Herman. “I’ll pick you up in an hour or so,” Logan says, leaning against the door as the steam fills the bathroom. “Okay, I’ll be ready! See you soon.” I finish washing soap suds from my hair and rinsing off my body that’s sore from where he’s been. It’ll be awhile before I forget what happened between us. It’s almost as if our hearts built a bridge to each other, while trying to mend the broken one. Once an hour passes, the dogs start barking and Logan shows up wearing workout shorts, a T-shirt that hugs him in all the right places, and Nikes. I look down at what I’m wearing, a sundress and sandals and realize we’re both dressed for two different occasions. “I should change, shouldn’t I?”

He laughs. “Yeah, I want to take you somewhere. Workout clothes and shoes.” “I’m going to trust you on this one,” I say, walking to my bedroom finding some comfortable shorts and a tank. Stepping into the living room, I see him playing with the pups and it makes my heart swell. He looks up at me like I’m his world and I feel guilt wash over me, but I hurry and push it away. “I’m ready!” I tell him excitedly, wondering what he has planned. As soon as we step outside, I’m greeted with a warm, sunny day. “I couldn’t pass up this weather.” Logan turns and smiles at me. I don’t even argue as I follow him to this car. We drive across town and head outside the city. For a moment, I have no clue where we’re going until we drive up to a trailhead that says Sierra Buttes Lookout Tower. I look over at Logan like he’s lost his mind. “We’re about to hike a freaking mountain?” I ask. He scrunches his nose and laughs. “Trust me.” And I do. As soon as we park, Logan grabs a backpack and takes water bottles from a small ice chest in his backseat. Looking at the trail and the sweaty faces of the people who are finishing, I feel a little intimidated. I’ve never done anything like this before; at least, I don’t think I have. Logan grabs my hand, kisses my forehead, and we make our ascent up the trail. “It’s worth it. I promise,” Logan says each time I’m ready to turn around, but he’s supportive and motivating so I keep going with him by my side. A few hours pass and my legs and lungs are burning, but when we make it to the top, I lose my words and thoughts. Beauty like this can only be seen from up here, above the tree line. A chill from the cool air floods over me as I look out at the peaks and valleys below, and that’s when Logan takes my hand. There are stairs that lead up to an even higher lookout, and even though my legs are screaming in protest, I decide to trust him. By the time I get to the top, I’m breathless. The view of the lakes below is worth every second of pain it took to get up here. The sun reflects off the blue water of the lakes that’s surrounded by green rolling hills. Logan and I stand there together, our arms brush against each other and we enjoy the silence. He places his arm around me and I lean into him. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper, finally able to find my words. “I thought you’d enjoy this. Before I joined to the military, I’d hike this every weekend. It helped me clear my mind and get my thoughts straight. It was almost like my sanctuary. When I was thinking about what we’d do today, I knew I wanted to take you here. It’s peaceful. There’s a strange calm about it all,” Logan says with his arm still wrapped around my shoulder. We stand there for what feels like hours, though only minutes pass, and breathe in the fresh air while taking in the view. I never want to forget this.

As we look out at the lakes, Logan turns to me. “I do have one more question. One, that if you don’t want to answer, I understand. Especially if we’re going to try to start over.” I swallow hard, feeling a lump lodge itself in my throat. Taking a drink of water, I stare into his bright green eyes and nod. “I don’t know how to say this,” Logan hesitates. “I was in your garage getting Christmas ornaments for you for your Christmas in July party, and I came across some adoption papers. I shouldn’t have looked at them and ever since I did, I’ve felt like a major asshole. But I did. I just want to know…” Time feels like it’s standing still, and I try to think of how to explain this. So much has happened since the adoption that I don’t even know where to start.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN LOGAN Once the question leaves my lips, I feel guilty for asking. She pauses for a long time, and I try to change the subject, not wanting to pressure her. The rules were clear, we had to answer any question, but after seeing the expression on her face, I’m not so sure I want to know the answer. We walk down the long flight of stairs then head down the trail back to the car. Kayla has been quiet and it begins to worry me. What if something terrible happened and that’s why she gave the baby up for adoption? It’s no secret she didn’t have the best childhood. Horrible scenarios flood through my head, and I want to punch myself for being insensitive. I know my girl, and she wouldn’t keep something from me without a good reason. As we’re walking back, I grab her hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m sorry for pressuring you.” She gives me a sweet smile. “It’s just been awhile since I’ve thought about all of that. Brings back some not so happy memories, is all. But you deserve to know. Let’s chat about it later. If that’s okay.” “Yeah, sure. No problem.” I drop it, giving her time to tell me when she’s ready. I regret ever saying anything. The hike on the way down is much easier than the way up, which I’m thankful for. Once we’re back to the car, Kayla repositions her ponytail. Sweat is glistening on her forehead and cheeks and she wipes it off on her T-shirt. “Are you hungry?” I ask, realizing we haven’t eaten since breakfast. She nods. “Starving actually. I could go for a big fat, juicy, double cheeseburger,” she says with a laugh, both of us knowing damn well she couldn’t eat it all. “I know of the perfect place. What about Jack’s?” I ask and she agrees. On the drive out there, we make small talk about the hike and the view and how she’s never done anything like that before. Though she may not remember old times, I’m happy we’re making unforgettable memories together now. By the time we arrive at Jack’s Burgers and order, I’m starving. After we get our drinks, I follow Kayla outside on the patio to enjoy the warm weather. “I thought we could sit out here because it’s more private. This isn’t going to be easy because I haven’t thought about it in years. But I want you to know. You deserve to know.” My heart lurches forward. “I remember you mentioning Abby recently. Was that the baby’s name?” I ask. “No. Abby and I were foster sisters living in the same home and even shared a room while we were there,” she says in a small voice.

“Kayla, you really don’t have to,” I interrupt her. She looks at me with sadness in her eyes but continues speaking. No matter what I say to her now, I know she’s going to tell this story. “I was worried when I got a note to go to the office and call home. When I called, Abby was in a panic, begging me to come because she was sick and needed help. I knew she wasn’t feeling well that morning, but the way she was talking scared me. I asked why she didn’t call our foster parents at work and she burst into tears. I remember it being cold outside for some reason. It’s crazy what your mind remembers and doesn’t.” I don’t rush her. I don’t say a word. I sit quietly. “I asked a friend to take me home from school early. I was worried something terrible had happened to her by the fear in her tone, so I rushed home. Our foster parents were at work and wouldn’t be back for hours. When I walked into the house, I was horrified.” Our burgers arrive and Kayla just looks at her food then back at me. “I walked into her bedroom and she was lying on the bed. Her face was pale and she was screaming out in pain. I remember telling her I was going to dial 9-1-1. She begged me not to, but regardless, it was too late. She was giving birth, right there, on her bed in our room. I was freaking the fuck out. At sixteen, I wasn’t qualified to deliver a baby, but I was forced to.” “Wow. I… I don’t even know what to say.” I take a sip of water. Kayla finally picks up her burger and I take that as a cue to do so as well. She takes a few bites and sets it back down. “There was blood all over my hands from the baby. I had to cut the cord with freaking scissors and then deliver the placenta. I’d only taken one sex-ed class, and they hadn’t covered all the details of giving birth, but I had no choice. When I heard the loud cry of the baby, it finally hit me what had happened. Abby got pregnant and was in no means to care for a child. She was so scared of the repercussions, but still I begged her to go to the hospital. I begged with everything I had inside me. She refused.” “Why was she so reluctant?” “Because no one knew she was pregnant. She’d hid it so well because it was winter, and she wore oversized clothing anyway. Abby was never meant to stay in foster care very long, and it was expected her parents would be getting custody of her again soon. They didn’t have a lot of money and their house was a mess, basically at a hoarder level, so they took her out of the house due to neglect. She was worried if her parents found out she was pregnant, they would refuse to take her back, and she’d have to stay in the system until she graduated high school.” My mind is running crazy. The papers had Kayla’s name on them, not Abby’s. So, the dots aren’t lining up completely. “How old was she?” “She was only fifteen, so I understood her fear. Her parents could barely afford to take care of her, nevertheless a newborn, and Abby knew that. Even if she gave the baby up for adoption, she felt her parents would disown her, and when you’re shuffled in and out of the system, you inevitably have abandonment issues.” She pauses, taking in a deep breath

as she recalls the moments of that day. “That afternoon flew by, but the hour before our foster parents came home felt like it would drag on for a lifetime. Neither of us had a vehicle. She refused to go to the hospital. And we stood there going through all the scenarios as she held the baby in her arms wrapped in an old sheet I found in the closet,” she explains. For a moment, she stares up at the sky and watches the clouds as the cool air swirls around us. I know she’s thinking back to that day. Kayla has been through so much; I can’t imagine being thrown into that situation at such a young age. So many things could’ve gone wrong. The baby could’ve been breech or the umbilical cord could’ve been wrapped around her neck. Neither of them had any experience to deal with major issues. Abby and the baby both could’ve died. “So instead of jeopardizing her chances of going back home, we decided I’d tell our foster parents the baby was mine. I’d be in the foster care system regardless if I had a baby or not. Abby hid the baby weight well enough, so we came up with a big, fabricated story that I was the one who’d gotten pregnant. Considering it was winter, I had been dressing in baggy sweaters too. Of course, my foster parents came home and flipped the fuck out. They threatened to have me transferred. They threatened to kick me out. But I asked if we could put the baby up for adoption instead, because that’s what Abby wanted.” A small smile meets my lips. “So, you did. You said the baby was yours.” “I did. Abby deserved to get a second chance, so I claimed the baby as mine.” Eating in silence for a little while, we’re both lost in thought. Kayla’s a loyal person, and it was even more evident when she did that for her foster sister. Although she lied on official documents, she did it with her friend’s future in mind. “I can’t imagine what that was like for you. So, did Abby go back home?” “She did. It was about a month later when the courts signed off and she returned to her parents’ custody. From the stories Abby told me, I could tell how much her parents loved her. She deserved to be with them regardless of their situation. When she first arrived, she cried every night. I knew how much they meant to her. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but she still sends me a birthday card for Christmas.” She smiles, reminiscing. “It’s a thoughtful gesture, although we don’t keep in touch regularly. I know she hasn’t forgotten what I did for her.” I place my hand on hers and rub my thumb across her knuckles. “You’re brave, Kayla. You’ve always been so brave and caring. No matter the ramifications, you put other people or animals first. I knew that about you the first time I met you, but every damn day you prove that. You make me want to be a better person.” By the time my words end, I see a tear roll down her cheek. I grab it with my finger and wipe it away. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “It brings up a lot of childhood memories.” I nod, searching her face. “Thank you for telling me. You know you didn’t have to.” “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I hate that you had to find out that way. No telling what you thought about me when you saw those papers. I can only imagine.” She

searches my face, and I offer her a smile. “I didn’t think anything. Just curious, really. I knew if you gave a child up for adoption, there would’ve been a good reason, and I respected that. I’m sorry for prying.” She laughs and takes a bite of a French fry. “It’s okay. So, I guess that means I get to ask you a question now. Right?” I nod. She’s trying to change the subject and I welcome it if that makes her more comfortable. I’m happy to see her smile has returned and the somber mood passed quickly. “If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?” I lift an eyebrow and look directly into her eyes. “Anything?” She giggles. “Yeah.” “Find a way to give you your memories back so you’d remember everything we’ve been through.”

KAYLA A few weeks have passed since that first night with Logan, and although it’s been difficult with our schedules, we’ve been trying to spend more time together. It feels great to officially have nothing else to hide from him. Everything is out in the open. No more secrets. Thinking about Abby brought up so many old memories and feelings. After the baby was taken into custody for adoption, my foster parents had me transferred out of their home. It was hard, but I only had two more years until I graduated high school, so that thought kept me going strong. I’m not sure they ever forgave me for not being honest with them and hiding a pregnancy. Though it wasn’t mine, they looked at me like I was a liar, and in a sense, I was. As long as Abby was safe and happy with her parents, I didn’t regret any of it. I allow my mind to get the best of me while I drive across town to volunteer today. As I pass a vacant building for lease, I find myself looking at the location and its surroundings. I’ve been putting feelers out for the nonprofit animal adoption center and even have a few businesses that want to donate once my paperwork is filed. Last weekend, I told the girls at the shelter about my plans, and they were thrilled to know what I’ve been working on. My dreams are becoming a reality. It’s a tad scary but overly exciting at the same time. I pull into the parking lot of the food pantry and park in the back. As soon as I walk in and grab my apron, my cell rings. I look down and see it’s Logan. “Hey you!” I say, wiping off a counter before we prepare to serve the food. “Can you meet for lunch?” he asks. I look around. “If you want to meet me at the pantry…”

“Oh, of course you’re volunteering.” I hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll stop by there then.” “I’d like that.” “I’ll see you soon.” After saying our goodbyes, I let Delores know Logan’s coming. That woman loves Logan, and she’s told me about all the times he’s come and volunteered. Not leaving out a detail, she also described how tight his pants were and how she wishes she was thirty years younger. Once we open the main doors, the line is already to the street. Logan comes in looking sexy with his messy hair. Delores is busy running around, but waves and smiles as soon as she sees him. It makes me laugh. Not hesitating, he grabs an apron and stands beside me. For the next hour, I scoop potatoes and he scoops green beans. It’s a sweet gesture he’s here. Sometimes serving food is a thankless job, but to know I’m helping someone is enough. After everyone has eaten and we’ve cleaned up, Logan leans over and gives me an unexpected kiss in front of the other volunteers. “Sorry,” he says, noticing he caught me off guard. “It’s fine. I’m happy you’re here.” I give him a smile. “There’s my sweetheart! How’ve you been, Sugar?” Delores asks, handing us both cold soapy dish towels to clean the tables. I’m thankful for the change of subject. “Delores! I missed you,” Logan teases her, and she playfully rolls her eyes. “Don’t get flirty now. I might kidnap you and never let you go.” Delores gives him a wink and bursts into laughter. “It would be kidnapping,” I joke with Dolores as she walks to the back of the kitchen. Once we’re finished helping prep for the next day, we say our goodbyes to the other volunteers. We walk outside and I look at Logan, who seems as if he has something to say. “So, what’s up?” I ask. “Nothing really. I was reminiscing about old times and thought we’d meet up for lunch. This was perfect though.” Logan looks down at his phone then back at me. “Shit. I need to get back to work before Royal has my ass. He’s been in a bad mood lately.” He gives me a quick kiss. “I’ll call you later.” “Okay! That sounds great.” He leans over to give me one last kiss, just a quick smack on the lips, and leaves with a smile. Standing there, I think about those two kisses and how I felt and then I begin to worry. There was no emotion, it was just routine. Stressing, I text Courtney and ask her if we can get together for dinner tonight. Over the last few weeks, I’ve felt like something’s been off between Logan and me. Though my life has drastically changed, I have to make sure I’m thinking clearly. K: Can we have dinner and drinks tonight? Tacos make everything better. C: Oh no! What’s wrong?

Her text bubble pops up and then stops, then pop back up. I hurry and send her a message before she starts to worry. K: I have a lot on my mind. About me and Logan. I need you to walk me off the edge and tell me if I’m going crazy or not. C: All you have to text me in the future is 9-1-1. Tacos sound fab. Let’s meet at 6. K: PERFECT! I’ll text Viola and see if she’s available. C: She’s not. It’s date night for her and Travis. And girlllll she needs it. Haha. I can imagine how true that is considering she has three small children. K: Understandable! I’ll see you at 6! THANK YOU! C: I got you girl. I need to vent too. So, this is great. It’ll be like therapy. Ha! See you tonight! Once I’m home, I watch the clock unable to think about anything but Logan and me. Unfortunately, my thoughts aren’t all unicorns and puppies, and that doesn’t settle well. I don’t know what’s overcome me these last couple of months, but if I know one thing, it’s to always trust my instinct. I fall asleep on the couch and wake up just in time to get dressed and meet Courtney across town. By the time I get there, she’s already waiting with a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa. “There you are!” she says standing and opens her arms up for a hug. “I need a margarita or ten,” I groan with a laugh just as the waiter walks up. I order one and sip it as Courtney sips her water. She lifts her eyebrows at me as she chews chips and salsa, and I just lay it all out on the table. “I’m afraid I’m unintentionally leading Logan on to believing my feelings for him are stronger than they really are.” She squishes her nose and sits there thinking before she speaks. “What do you mean?” I knew this wouldn’t be an easy conversation. I don’t even fully understand these feelings myself. “Well, like today, he kissed me twice and both times I didn’t feel that…spark. I know he has strong feelings for me, and I feel like such a jerk that I can’t reciprocate them. The sexual connection is off the charts. We’re like two sex-deprived animals who can’t get enough of each other, but those are all physical feelings. Our sexual chemistry is there, but I keep hoping those deeper emotions will come. Since they haven’t yet, I keep worrying about what if they don’t? It’s been weeks, and it’s driving me crazy. The guilt of knowing everything he’s done for me and everything we’ve been through together makes me feel so damn bad.” My margarita is almost half gone, and I know I need to slow down so I start eating the rest of the chips and salsa. The waiter arrives, and we order a plate of quesadillas to share. “Does he know?” Courtney asks. “Or has he implied he knows something’s up?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I don’t think so. Either way, I don’t want to break his heart. I can’t do that to him.” “You can’t keep pretending either,” she counters, and I know she’s right. “Well, I could bring it up, but I’m afraid what that will start. I want to feel things for Logan other than the physical attraction. I want to have those old feelings I had. After reading our previous text messages, it was obvious how madly in love we were, but I also know I’m not that girl anymore. And that scares me, Court. I’m afraid I’ll never fall in love with him the way I was before, and I’ll end up leading him on for years because I’ll feel obligated to try. It’s been bothering me the last week or two because he’s such a great guy, and I know he’d give me the world.” Courtney doesn’t say anything for awhile as she sips on her water. Enough time passes for the waiter to bring our quesadillas with small plates, and we share. “Okay. You’re quiet and it’s scaring the shit out of me. Your silence is frightening. Please say something,” I plead. She finishes chewing on a chip and looks directly at me. “I don’t know the right answer or if there is one or not. But you’re probably putting too much pressure on yourself, and that, in return, is why you’re obsessing over it. However, if you don’t feel anything beyond your physical connection, you can’t force it. It’s not fair for you or him to keep pretending, but then again, it hasn’t been that long since you two decided to start over. You don’t always instantly fall in love with someone. Love takes time. And the fact that you chased him relentlessly for years should tell you that the possibility of eventually having those feelings are very real.” “I wish I didn’t even have to think about this, that all those feelings came naturally. I feel like I’m broken or something. Logan is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend; yet, here I am, wondering why my heart isn’t falling for him as hard as it did before.” “When you two finally got together, it was everything you’d ever wanted. The chase was over and you could finally act on those feelings. But now, you’re trying to replicate those feelings without being able to remember the journey it took to get them. I say you just need time. All of this is still an adjustment.” I suck in a deep breath and exhale. “You’re right. I’ve just been feeling so damn guilty lately and my doubt was getting the best of me today.” She smiles, giving me the comfort I need. “Don’t. Just have fun and allow yourself time.” Courtney always says the things I need to hear. She makes my craziness seem normal and knows how to listen. It’s one of her best qualities. “Thank you.” I exhale a relieved breath and finish off my drink. “So, what did you want to chat about?” Courtney eats her quesadilla with her pinky in the air, and I chuckle. “I’ve been thinking about alternative options for getting pregnant, and I think I do want to look into getting IVF treatments. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for months, and I feel like it’s never going to happen naturally. At this point, I’d balance on my head for an hour after sex if I knew it would work. We’ve tried everything, from the ovulation

tests, to the charting, to the teas, and oils, and special lube. I’m just so frustrated with all of it,” Courtney groans. “Have you told Drew? What does he think?” “I haven’t told him yet. I don’t know what he’ll say. I think I’ve become obsessed with trying to get pregnant and having a baby, and it’s wearing him down. It’s all I can think about these days and then I start to convince myself that I’m having pregnancy symptoms and get all excited. First, my boobs will start to feel really sore, which is a common sign. Next, I’ll throw up and think Yes! Morning sickness! Then another negative pregnancy test takes away all that hope and I’ll be depressed for weeks.” “Oh, Court.” I reach my hand across the table and squeeze hers. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was causing you all this stress.” “I’m afraid it’s going to put a strain on our marriage, too. It doesn’t help that it’s all my parents can talk about. Every time I call my mother, she asks when we’re going to give her grandkids.” “You’d think being around Viola’s kids for a few hours would give her a fix to last a while.” I snort. Viola’s kids are great, but they’re a handful at this age. Especially since James and TJ are still in diapers, and Ginny has been in a sassy stage and saying no to everything. “No kidding,” Courtney replies, laughing. “How’s Drew taking all of this?” I ask. “I know Drew wants a baby as badly as I do. It’s so cute the way his face lights up when I talk about what a great dad he’ll be one day, but I don’t think he understands the emotional toll it puts on me since I’m the one that can’t get pregnant. I feel like I’m disappointing him and letting everyone down. It makes me feel like a complete failure. It’s like I’m fighting against my own body and it’s broken.” My heart aches for her. I hate seeing her this sad. “You’re not broken and you’re definitely not a failure. You’re trying and you’re doing all the right things. These things take time, too. You just have to be patient and enjoy all the endless sex while you can. I’m sure Drew would be all about looking into IVF if it would make you happy. I see the way he looks at you like you’re his entire world and reason for breathing.” I smile at her, squeezing her hand again. Sighing, I continue. “That’s the kind of love I want.” “You did have that kind of love, sweetie. And you will again.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN LOGAN “Skylar, baby,” I call from the kitchen, packing up her lunch. “We’re going to be late!” I remind her for the fifth time this morning. She’s two months into the year at her new school, and she’s not adjusting to the early morning hours. When Maggie has the early shift, Skylar stays the night and I drop her off at school on my way to work. If there’s one thing I give her credit for it’s that she’s adjusted to our back-and-forth schedule quite well for her age. I expected some defiance, but she seems to be enjoying seeing us both equally. “I can’t find my pink shoes!” She comes into the kitchen stomping. Pink shoes? Pink shoes? I have no idea which ones she’s talking about. “Where’d you see them last?” “My feet.” I glare down at her. “Well, pick another pair. We have to go.” “Ugh!” She groans, full of sass and attitude this morning. That’s also something I hadn’t anticipated. Only seeing her on the weekends, I never experienced this side of her. Although Maggie warned me that she’d been in this stubborn, defiant phase, I hadn’t realized just how easy it was to set her off. Who knew six-year-olds had such a bossy little personality? “I’m leaving in five minutes,” I warn her, shouting into the hallway since she stomped away. “Help me find my shoes!” she screams from the doorway of her bedroom. “Skylar Marie Knight! Don’t you scream at me. Put the first pair of shoes on your feet or I’ll pick for you and they won’t match your outfit.” “FINE!” She storms into her bedroom and before slamming the door, adds, “I wish Mom was here!” “Jesus Christ,” I mutter, brushing a hand through my hair in shock at her unmerited outburst. Ten minutes later we’re finally in the car on the way to her school with her pink shoes on. She’s smiling and lip syncing to the music as if this morning’s screaming match never happened. I narrow my eyes at her wondering how her moods can change in a blink of an eye. If that’s any indication for how the teen years are going to be, I’m pretty sure I’ll need to take up drinking. “Goodbye, baby. Love you!” I call out to her as she opens the door and runs out. She quickly waves and I wait until I see her get all the way inside. Stopping for coffee on my way to work, I have that déjà vu feeling when I walk into the cafe. My feelings for Kayla have never changed, and if anything, they’ve only grown

stronger. However, it feels like something’s off. Not with me or with Kayla, but just our relationship in general. I don’t know if it’s because we decided to start over and I feel like we’re at different levels of the relationship or if it’s something else. I push those thoughts to the back of my mind, figuring I was just overthinking and didn’t want to put something in my head that wasn’t there in the first place. “Large brew?” Clarissa asks in a sultry tone as soon as I walk up to the counter. “Yes, please.” I smile in return. She’s worked here for a while now and is good at her job, even if she only flirts with the customers for tips. I hand her a five and tell her to keep it. “Thank you. Appreciate it.” She takes the change and sets it in their tip jar. A moment later, she hands over my large coffee and then lingers at the counter longer than usual. “Hey,” she speaks up before I walk away. Stepping back toward the counter, I wait. “Yeah?” “Um…” she stumbles a bit, blush covering her cheeks. “I don’t normally do this, but I’ve been chickening out for months, so I’m just going to say it.” Looking intently at her, I tilt my head and try to read her. Shit. I’m pretty sure she’s about to ask me out. “We’re having our first open mic night here this weekend, and I was wondering if you’d want to come?” Oh whew. That sounds harmless. Before I can respond, she continues. “With me?” Fuck. “Oh, wow,” are the only two words I can come up with to say aloud. She swallows, anticipating my answer. “That sounds great, Clarissa, but I actually have a girlfriend.” Her face immediately drops, and I feel like such a jackass. “I’m so sorry—” I begin the same time she speaks. “No, please. Don’t be. I’m sorry. It’s just, I haven’t seen you in here with anyone lately, and you don’t wear a wedding band, so I didn’t know.” “Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay.” “Okay. Well. Have a good day. I better get back to work.” She walks off with a wave, and I immediately feel guilty, although I’m not quite sure why. Work is long as usual, and ever since the drug trafficking case was closed, I’ve been working on numerous smaller cases. It’s a nice change of pace, but it’s boring as hell. “Want to grab a beer after work?” Brantley pops his head in and asks. The offer is tempting, but I miss Kayla. She’s been swamped with her new project. Between all the research and seeking donations, she’s been working around the clock. “Can’t tonight. Maybe later?”

“All right, man. I’m heading out.” “See ya,” I call out. Just as I start packing my things for the night, I get a call from Maggie. “Hey, sweetie,” I answer, thinking it’s Skylar. “It’s me.” Her tone tells me she’s not pleased. “Oh, sorry, Maggie. What’s going on?” “Skylar told me about this morning. Something about you yelling at her that you were going to put shoes on her that didn’t match? Or something like that.” I sigh, inhaling a deep breath. This co-parenting thing has proven to be a bit harder than I anticipated. “Yeah, she was having a rough morning and couldn’t find her shoes.” “So, you screamed at her?” “What? No! She was talking back and I warned her if she didn’t get her shoes on, then I’d grab the first pair I found. Then she screamed at me and slammed her bedroom door.” “Oh.” “Then she screamed that she wished you were there.” “Well that’s better than her telling you she hates you,” she replies with a defeated laugh. “Just wait for that.” “God.” I chuckle. “I had no idea.” “Nope,” she confirms. “But don’t worry. That means you’re doing something right.” “Was she in a good mood when you picked her up from school?” I ask, grabbing my things and heading out of my office. “Kind of. Getting her to do homework is always a chore.” “Well, if memory serves me right, she gets that from you.” I laugh at her expense, remembering our high school years. “I recall you not having a great record of doing homework either.” “Oh my God!” she squeals. “Shut up! That’s not even true, and you know it.” She laughs, making me laugh in return. Walking out to my car, I unlock it and slide inside. “Well that’s not how I remember it.” I laugh, knowing the truth no matter how much she wants to twist it around. She goes over her work schedule with me, and by the time we end the call, I’m back home and taking Herman outside. L: Hey, babe. You want to come keep me company tonight? I message Kayla, refill Herman’s water and food dishes, change into something more comfortable, and grab a beer from the fridge before I get her response.

K: Sure! I’m just reading over some research I printed out. I’ll change and be there in thirty minutes. L: Sounds good! Relaxing into the couch, I turn on the TV and start flipping through my DVR. Ever since Skylar’s been spending more time here, she’s been recording her own shows. How a six-year-old can work this remote better than I can still baffles me. Drifting asleep as I wait for Kayla, I realize it’s been over an hour since her message so I decide to call her. “Hello?” She finally answers on the fourth ring. “Hey, where are you?” I hear her shifting around as if she’s checking the time on her phone. “Oh, shit. I lost track of time. I’m so sorry. I’ll be right there, okay?” “Okay, drive safe.” Assuming Kayla probably skipped dinner, I head to the kitchen and start digging around for something to make us. I grab a box of pasta and decide to make a casserole dish with some leftover chicken. Everything is prepped and just as I’m putting it into the oven, I hear a knock at the door. Looking up at the clock on the stove, it’s been almost a half hour since her message. Herman barks and greets her as I open the door and let her in. “Hey, babe.” I lower my face and press my lips to hers. I’ve missed her so damn much and yet something still feels off. “You made it.” She wraps an arm around my waist and gives me a side hug, kissing me back. It feels routine, as if we’re two friends greeting each other. “I’m so sorry,” she apologizes again. “I started watching YouTube videos and then looking up all these websites about animal shelters, and I just completely lost track of the time.” “It’s okay,” I tell her. “I’m just happy you’re here now.” She shuffles out of her thin coat and I hang it up for her. Grabbing her hand, I lead her into the kitchen. “Oh, something smells amazing.” She perks up. “I figured you didn’t eat dinner yet.” “You figured right.” She chuckles. “I think I ate lunch, but now I can’t remember.” “Kayla.” I give her a disapproving stare down. “You need to eat. I know you’re excited about this new project, but you have to take care of yourself.” “I know. I just get so wrapped up in stuff, and it slipped my mind.” “Guess I’ll have to start sending you daily reminders.” I wink at her. “I need you to have your strength, you know?”

She laughs and it’s so good to hear. I kiss the top of her head and tell her to take a seat. “The main dish isn’t ready yet, but I made us a couple salads.” I grab them from the fridge and set them on the table. “Look at you in the kitchen,” she teases, stabbing her fork into the lettuce. “Is there anything you can’t do?” “Well, let me see…” I pretend to think hard about it. “Nope. Don’t think so.” She gazes up at me and grins. We chat while we eat our salads and twenty minutes later, the timer goes off and the casserole is ready. While serving us both, she continues telling me all about her research findings and updates on getting sponsors for her no-kill shelter. I love listening to her talk about something that makes her so happy, especially because I know how passionate she is about it. She’s glowing, and I want to do everything I can to support her, but lately it feels like she’s forcing our relationship. The thought drives a dagger straight into my heart, so I push it away. I know Kayla well enough to know when she sets her mind to something, it consumes her, so I try not to remind myself to not put too much stock in the fact that she’s been more distant lately. Once we finish eating, Kayla plays with Herman while I clean up. That reminds me about his previous owner and if he’s going to stay away for good this time. I don’t bring it up, but the thought is always in the back of my mind. She doesn’t even remember the bastard so he could easily scare the shit out of her if he showed up at her house again. I’m lost in my thoughts about our future and overanalyzing everything between Kayla and I when I feel her arms wrap around my waist from behind. She squeezes me tight and no matter what I try to tell myself, it feels distant and forced. Without much thought, I turn around, grab her wrists and pin her to the wall. My lips are on hers, molding our bodies together. I have to believe there’s more to Kayla, and I need to feel it. She immediately responds, grinding her hips against me. Moaning against my mouth, she kisses me just as harshly, almost as if she can’t taste enough of me. Releasing her wrists, I slide a hand up and wrap it around her throat. My lips trail down her neck before I bite her shoulder. My other hand wraps around her ass and pushes our bodies closer. Soon we’re both panting for air, racing to take each other’s clothes off. I don’t take my time with her like I normally would, instead I strip her down and fuck her against the wall. She wraps her legs and arms around me as I thrust hard and fast inside her. Our moans and screams fill the air. It’s a battle of desperate times and marking her. Desperate for her to love me the way I love her. I want her body and soul, but now I’m doubting everything about us. Was she ever mine to begin with? Her nails claw at my back as I mark her neck. She rides my cock like it’s her life mission, but I know her feelings for me aren’t like they used to be. Perhaps I’m struggling with her memory loss more than I realized and it’s just now catching up to me. Either way, I won’t give up without a fight.

KAYLA Logan’s hands clench into my ass and I know I’ll wake up with bruises by the strength of his grip. I don’t know what came over him, but suddenly he turned into this animalistic savage that claimed me as his mate and wanted the entire kingdom to know. I wasn’t complaining at all, but it felt different. Almost out of character for him. But there’s no denying I want this release, even if it’s purely physical. The stress of the day almost melts away with his touch. “I’m so close,” I whisper to him, not wanting him to stop. He releases my body and my legs fall back down. They feel numb almost and I nearly stumble into the wall. “Turn around,” he demands and before I have a chance to challenge him, he spins me around. I catch myself on the wall and feel him behind me. “Bend over. Touch your ankles.” I do as he says, although most of my lower half is already sore. With a hard slap to my ass, he spreads my legs and slides inside with one hard thrust. “Oh my God,” I yelp in surprise. I’ve never been a prude to rough sex; hell, even Courtney has told me some stories about my over-sharing, but I don’t remember him ever being like this. Another slap to my ass causes my body to tighten around him and an orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks. Just as I come down from my release, Logan pulls out and spins me around to face him. “On your knees,” he commands, stroking his dick in his hand. I drop to the floor and wait for his release. “Open your mouth, baby.” With tears in my eyes, I do as he says and wait for his hot come. I don’t even know where the tears come, but I hold them back. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing, but I don’t know this Logan. Usually, he’s so intimate and romantic while being rough and always attending to my needs. This felt like more of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am and completely disconnected, but maybe it’s just me. The concerns I had discussed with Courtney weigh heavily on me. I feel the warmth on my skin as he strokes his dick and his head falls back with a loud grunt. “Fuck,” he mutters after a silent moment. He looks down at my messy face and grabs a hand towel off the counter. “Here, baby. Let’s clean you up.” He reaches for my hand and pulls me up. I close my eyes as he wipes the mess off my face. They flutter open when I feel his lips press softly against mine. “You still want to watch a movie tonight?”

I swallow back the guilt and flash him a smile. “Sure.” After getting dressed, we settle into the living room as we scroll through iTunes for something to watch. I tell him to pick anything, but I doubt I’ll even really pay attention to it. I can’t get out of my own head, and it’s torturing me. Logan’s and my relationship feels more complicated than ever. However, I do want to try. I have to keep believing those feelings will come. I snuggle to Logan on the couch, pushing all those negative feelings down. He rubs his hand down my back and soothes me. I relax into him, and soon I’m drifting to sleep against him. “I love you, Angel,” I hear him whisper just before my body relaxes completely. I want so badly to say those words back to him, but I need to make sure they’re genuine. I don’t want to hurt him. You can’t keep pretending… Courtney’s words ring in my ear as I wake up startled. Logan’s gently shaking me and telling me the movie is over. “Sorry, I fell asleep on you,” I tell him. “And apparently drooling.” I wipe my mouth and laugh. He smiles as he leans in for a quick kiss. “Let’s go to bed.” Leading me into his room, I take my jeans and shirt off and slip under the covers in just my bra and panties. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him. “Night,” I say, resting my head. He yawns and I can tell he’s over-exhausted too. “Night, Angel. I love you.” The last couple of weeks have been mentally exhausting. The memory of that night in his kitchen replays in my mind and I will myself to feel something beyond the physical connection. I know I like him a lot. I care about him tremendously. I look forward to seeing and talking to him, yet those deeper emotions aren’t coming, and it’s depressing the hell out of me. Am I broken? Did my ability to love disappear like my memory? Because that’s what it fucking feels like, and I feel guiltier as the days go by. But I won’t stop trying. Logan Knight is an amazing guy, and I won’t let him slip through my fingers. However, I’ve been avoiding him. Not in an obvious way, but a part of me is staying extra busy so I can get my mind straight. Even after talking to Courtney and then later Viola, they both agreed I just need time. I keep thinking my past has caught up to me, and all those feelings I neglected about growing up in foster homes has finally taken a toll on me. Feeling abandoned by my mother and father isn’t an easy thing to forget, and no matter how I felt about it as a kid growing up, there’s obviously some repressed feelings there.

L: Hey, baby. Can you do dinner tonight? That new restaurant downtown finally opened and I want to take you. I cringe when I read his message. He’s so damn sweet. Even when he’s had a bad day, he never takes it out on me. In fact, I’ve been doing most of the venting on him. Getting my nonprofit up and running has been much more of a challenge than I anticipated. He’s one-hundred percent supportive of this new journey I’m on, but it still feels like I’m doing it alone. K: I would love that, but I can’t tonight. I have a meeting with the city council to discuss properties the city would be willing to donate. Rain check? L: Sure, Angel. Good luck! He never texts I love you but I hear the words in my head. He’s whispered it to me a few times now, and it drives my guilt even deeper. This goes on between us for the next few weeks. I see him a couple times during the week and sometimes do a sleepover on the weekends, but I find myself making excuses as to why we can’t spend more time together with the hope that clearing my head will help the guilt fade away. Every time we’re together, I’m happy. I love spending time with him and that has never changed, but it feels like we’ll never have equal feelings. He’ll always have those early memories of us, and I’ll only have the new ones, and I worry if that’ll ever be enough. I know he deserves someone amazing who’ll love him just as much as he loves her and as much as I want that person to be me, I can’t help wondering if I’m only hurting him in the long run. “Am I broken?” I ask Courtney for the fifth time. “I feel like my heart is missing a few pieces.” I switch ears and lean the phone against my right shoulder and ear. “Maybe I need an intervention.” She laughs, and I imagine her shaking her head at me. “You do. It’s call People-whohave-hot-sex-and-then-complain-about-it therapy.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. It’s no secret our sex life is amazing, but that won’t always be enough. Relationships can’t just revolve around sex. Even when it’s amazing. “I wonder how many people would show up to that one,” I mock. She snorts. “Probably just you and Drew.” “Oh yeah, that wouldn’t be awkward or anything.” She and Drew are still trying like jackrabbits to get pregnant, and apparently Drew can’t keep up with his sex-crazed wife. “He pretended to have a headache the other night,” she nearly shouts into the phone. “A headache!” she repeats, louder. “Maybe he did,” I defend. “Or maybe you’re riding his dick raw and he needs a break.”

“Whose side are you on?” she scowls. “I’m not taking sides. I was just playing devil’s advocate.” “Devil’s advocate my ass. You take my side. I don’t care if his dick is raw and bent in a weird sword position. If I tell him I’m ovulating, he better strip naked in two seconds.” I burst out laughing and cringing at the same time. “Well, great. Now that I have that image in my head…” She sighs and thankfully changes the subject away from her husband’s bent dick. “Okay, maybe you two just need a romantic getaway or something. It sounds cliché, but disconnecting from the world—no phones or social media—can do wonders to rejuvenate a relationship. Just focus on being together and reconnecting.” “Court, you’re brilliant! That sounds perfect!” I squeal. “All the stress from his job and the new shelter are weighing on us both, so a weekend away from all of that might be what we both need!” After we hang up the phone, I immediately text Logan. K: Hey! You have time for a lunch visitor today? L: I’m not in the office today. K: Oh. Okay. Maybe we can meet up for dinner afterwards? L: I have an appointment after work, but maybe later? K: Sure. L: I’ll call you. Logan’s short responses have me more worried than usual. I know he’s recently been assigned to some big case at work, but he’d always been so good at not letting it affect our relationship. I can’t wait to tell Logan all about my idea tonight. I don’t know when he’s going to be available, but I get dressed and ready early just in case. Planning a trip away will be fun, too. His call doesn’t come until eight o’clock, and I’m a little bummed when I hear his tired, defeated voice on the other line. “Sorry, my appointment lasted longer than expected.” “That’s okay! Do you want to come over?” “Um… well actually, I was thinking I might just head to bed and get a good night’s sleep.” “Oh.” I don’t hide the disappointment in my tone. “If you’re too tired to drive here, I can come to you?” I offer. “I have something I wanted to talk to you about.” “Uh, well…” I start feeling a little uneasy at his hesitation.

“Sure, that’s fine,” he finally says. “Let me just shower and change quick.” “Okay, I’ll leave in about twenty minutes.” “See you soon.” After we hang up, I pace my living room for fifteen minutes with extreme scenarios in my head of why he’s acting so off lately. To him just finding out he has some terminal illness to him being transferred out of Sacramento to him breaking up with me. It’s driving me crazy, but then I remind myself of my new plan and the stress begins to melt away. Once twenty minutes have passed, I head over to Logan’s and am surprised to see him sitting on his porch steps when I pull up. He stands up as I walk over toward him, and even though it’s dark out, the streetlights glare down on his face. His eyes are glossed over as if he’s been tearing up. “Hey,” I say softly. “Everything okay?” He lowers his head and shoves his palms into his eyes. I study him and wonder if it’s work related. “Did something happen at work?” I ask, hoping he’ll give me some answers because I’m starting to freak out a little. Shoving his hands into his front pockets, he shakes his head. I take a step toward him and start to wrap my arms around his waist when he takes a step back. “Logan.” He rests his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back slightly before pulling me to his chest. I’m so confused, but if it’s comfort he needs, I’ll give it to him. Cupping my face, he presses his lips firmly to mine. He kisses me with heated eagerness and I let him. “I’m sorry,” he whispers against my lips, resting his forehead against mine. His palms cup my cheeks and I wrap my hands around his wrists, keeping us molded together. Just as I’m about to ask what he’s apologizing for, he continues. “I can’t do this anymore.” My body starts to shake. “What are you talking about?” I ask, fighting back the tears. He swallows harshly, and his tears fall down his cheeks and land on my hand. “I’m letting you go, Kayla.” What? My voice gets lost in my throat. “You don’t deserve this, and I can’t keep hoping things will change. It’s not fair to either of us, but most importantly, you. I’ve known for awhile you’ve felt obligated to make things work between us because of our history and what you were told about it, but it’s not fair to guilt you into being with me. So, I’m letting you go.” He presses his lips against mine once more. “Please don’t think this isn’t the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever

had to do in my entire life, but I can’t be selfish anymore. You deserve the world, Kayla. I love you so goddamn much. Don’t ever forget that.” “Logan, I…” The tears prevent the rest of my words from coming out. “Please.” “I love you, Angel. And that’s why I have to do this.” I shake my head to protest, but still the words don’t come. He’s letting me go? No! That’s not what I want! “Logan, no,” I finally manage to choke out. “I never wanted to hurt you.” “I know, baby. I know.” He wipes tears from my cheeks and presses a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I don’t want us to end like this,” I plead. “I’m sorry, Angel.” He presses his forehead to mine again. “It has to.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN LOGAN I slam my fist into the punching bag and ignore the sting it sends down my arm. After the police academy, I’ve taken it easy and my body is feeling it. I eat healthy and stay active when I can, but I haven’t felt the need to punch anything this hard in years. Saying goodbye to Kayla was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. That includes the boot camp training that nearly killed me, the tour I did overseas, the shooting that happened during my first year as a cop—none of those come close to how hard letting Kayla go felt. I’d been worried for a couple weeks that Kayla was only with me out of guilt. The sex was always great between us, but something was missing. My love for her never changed, but hers would always be different now. I couldn’t live with myself anymore knowing I was keeping her from true happiness. She deserves to find love the way I found love, naturally. It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m pissed off. Angry and bitter and wanting revenge. The asshole drug dealer who hired her to redesign his house to hide his illegal activities is to blame. She should’ve never been there that day. Then she never would’ve hit her head and her life wouldn’t have been turned upside down. My life wouldn’t have been turned upside down either. I don’t care that the motherfucker is in jail now. He deserves to feel the same kind of pain I’m in right now. On top of all of that, the nightmares and restless nights are back. Stressful situations are known to trigger my PTSD, but this on top of my heart feeling destroyed is fucking killing me. Kicking and punching give me some kind of outlet for the anger that’s building up, but it doesn’t stop the pain I feel inside. I miss her. I miss her so fucking much. I want to call and hear her voice, but I know I can’t. I hate that she walked away crying, and I couldn’t comfort her. I hate that she drove off, and I couldn’t run after her. Everything about this situation just fucking sucks. It doesn’t help that everything reminds me of her. Herman. Skylar’s room. All the pictures in my phone. The framed pictures in my house. All the memories of us in my bed. The shower. Every fucking thing mocks me. “Logan.” I hear Brantley behind me, but I don’t stop. Kick. Punch. Kick. Punch. Punch. “You’re going to burn yourself out, man,” he tells me, but I don’t stop. “Good,” I growl. Maybe it’ll make me numb and I won’t have to feel the knife stabbing through my heart. Brantley’s been working out with me all week. He knows about Kayla and how I feel about her, so he hasn’t said much until now.

“You don’t need to kill yourself, man. Let’s go hit the showers.” He tries to convince me, but I have no desire to stop. “I’ll meet you in ten,” I tell him, hoping it’ll get him off my ass. He shrugs and walks away. I continue beating the punching bag and don’t slow down until I’m completely drenched in sweat, and I can’t feel my knuckles. As I rinse off in the shower, I hear Brantley talking on the phone to his wife, and before hanging up, he tells her he loves her. I don’t know why, but it completely cripples me. I break down under the stream and hate myself for it. Once I’m back home, I bury myself in paperwork. The less I give myself time to think, the better. When my phone rings a few hours later and I see it’s Skylar, I choke back all my feelings and answer it with a smile. “Hey, sweetie.” “Sorry. It’s me,” Maggie says. “What’s up?” I place the phone between my ear and shoulder, packing up all the papers on my table. “Just wanted to give you a heads-up about Skylar’s parent-teacher conference next week. Wednesday at six. Do you think you’ll make it?” Her tone is softer than normal, and it eases me to know she’s not calling to start up an argument or something. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be there.” She releases a breath. “Okay, great. I know her teacher will be glad to have both of us there.” “No worries. I’m writing it down right now.” I grab a pen and a post-it note so I don’t forget to put it in my phone calendar later. “Also,” she lingers as if she’s nervous. “Skylar wants us to take her trick-or-treating.” She pauses before adding, “Together.” I should’ve known that having Skylar closer to me would mean she’d want us to do things as a family, which I’m fine with, but I’m worried Maggie will start getting the wrong idea. “Sure, that’s fine. I can meet you guys at the house and we can go in your neighborhood,” I suggest, feeling more comfortable if I’m over there and can leave if it gets awkward. “Great. Skylar will be happy to hear that. She’s been talking about it nonstop, and I haven’t had time to get her a costume yet, but—” “I can take her,” I say. “How about tomorrow?” I hear her talking to Skylar in the background and a big screech echoes in the phone. “I think that’s a yes,” Maggie tells me, laughing.

I laugh in return. Skylar’s laughter and excitement always puts me in a better mood. “Awesome. Tell her I’ll pick her up after school, and we’ll go shopping and out to dinner.” “A daughter-daddy date,” Maggie coos. “I always knew you’d be a wonderful daddy, Logan.” Her compliment catches me off guard, but I accept it nonetheless. “She’s the only thing keeping me going right now,” I blurt out honestly, wishing I hadn’t when Maggie stays silent on the other end. “Anyway, I better get going. Remind Skylar before school that I’ll be the one picking her up.” “You got it. Bye, Logan.” After hanging up, I strip out of my clothes and get into the shower. I can’t help that all my thoughts direct to Kayla and the dozens of times we’ve showered together. Kissing, sucking, licking, teasing. It’s some of my best memories of us, and now, that’s all they’ll ever be. Stroking my cock in one hand, I feel it come to life at just the thought of Kayla with me. She loved teasing me by grinding her ass against me, enjoying the way it’d throb as I wrapped my arms around her and palmed her breasts. We’d start out slow and then I’d slide inside her and watch as she’d unravel against me, screaming out her release as I pressed my lips to hers. And no matter how many times we’d make love, it never felt like enough. I pump my cock until it feels raw and I release with an angry grunt. God, I miss her so fucking much. The next day I pick Skylar up from school and drive us to the mall. “So what kind of costume are we looking for?” I ask her, expecting a princess or mermaid response. She surprises me when she doesn’t reply with either of those. “Spiderman,” she tells me confidently. “Really?” “Yeah! I want to shoot webs out of my wrist! Think I’ll be able to get one like that?” She looks up at me with hopeful eyes as we walk inside the mall. “Well, we can look, okay? I’m sure they’ll have something you’ll like.” “Okay, Daddy.” Before walking into the store, Skylar tugs on my hand. “What’s wrong, baby?” “What happened to your friend?” I scrunch my nose and narrow my eyes at her. “What friend?” “The really pretty girl that was over when Gran and Pawpaw were visiting.” Fuck. Her memory is good. I haven’t brought up Kayla to her in weeks. They only met once, but I talked about her quite a bit. To avoid more confusion on why she suddenly stopped coming around, I didn’t want to bring it up.

“Oh, Kayla. She’s been really busy at work, that’s all.” I hate lying to her, but there’s no easy way to explain the situation to a six-year-old. “Why do you ask, sweetie?” “Mommy and I saw her at the grocery store, and when I waved at her, she just gave me a funny look and walked away.” My heart squeezes at the hurt in her tone. I only told Kayla that I had a daughter, not her name or what she looked liked. I figured I’d re-introduce them when things got better, but they never did. “She probably just didn’t recognize you, baby. You’ve been growing like a weed,” I reassure her with a big smile. “Okay, Daddy.” She releases my hand and runs excitedly into the Halloween Express Store. We scan racks and racks of costumes. There’s about fifty different princess costumes and only three Spiderman ones. Of course, the web shooter glove is sold separately for more than what the actual costume costs. “Are you ready?” I ask her, holding the Spiderman costume she finally picked, the web shooter gloves, and a new candy bucket with Spiderman on it. Yet, she’s still running around the store. “Skylar, come on.” “Daddy! Look at this princess tiara!” “Mm-hmm. That’s nice, baby. You have sixteen of those at home. Let’s check out so we can go grab some dinner.” “Chuck E. Cheese?” she squeals loud enough for the shoppers in the store next door to hear. I check my watch and know that it’s prime dinner time, which means the restaurant will be packed with kids and their families. “Please, Daddy?” she begs, her little beady eyes looking up at me. I can’t say no to that. “Okay. But only if we check out and leave right now,” I bribe. “Yes!” She raises her arm up in victory and jerks it back down with a fist. We end up at Chuck E. Cheese for two hours, and by the end, I’m carrying Skylar to the car. She wore her little body out, and when I bring her back to Maggie’s, I tuck her right into bed. “Wow,” Maggie says from the doorway into Skylar’s room. “What’d you do? Have her running sprints?” she teases. I kiss Skylar on the forehead and readjust her blankets before walking toward the door. “More like she was the one making me do sprints just trying to keep up with her.” “She’s a mini energizer bunny.” She sighs, blocking my way out of the room. “Yeah.”

As I try walking around her, Maggie cuts me off once again and places her hand on my chest. “Logan…” she whispers, her breath brushing against my jaw. “Can you stay?” Her eyes are pleading, and I haven’t seen this side from Maggie in years. Swallowing, I look down at her hand and back up to her eyes. I have no idea what’s going on, but before I have time to react, she fists her hand in my shirt and pulls my face down to hers until our lips are touching. For a moment, my body takes over and gives into her touch, but as soon as reality kicks in, I step back and push her away. “Maggie, what are you doing?” I pull us out into the hallway and close Skylar’s door. “What the hell was that?” She swallows and blinks as if she hasn’t thought this all the way through. “Sorry, I just thought we were getting closer lately, and all those past feelings we had between us were brewing up again.” “Past feelings? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sorry, Mags, but getting back together would be a tragic mistake,” I tell her as nicely as I can because it’s the truth, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings either. Maggie and I haven’t been on good terms for over five years, so this is completely unexpected. There’s no going from that to back together. “I shouldn’t have kissed you back, okay? It was a reaction. That’s it.” “A reaction?” She sounds insulted. “Maggie, don’t take it the wrong way. We’re finally getting this co-parenting thing down. Let’s not ruin it,” I tell her softly, hoping she’ll see my way of thinking. “And doesn’t Skylar deserve to have a family under one roof? Her mom and dad at the dinner table every night? Both parents tucking her into bed? I want a family, Logan. Don’t you?” The way she’s looking at me right now sends immediate guilt to my heart. I know she blames me for how things happened in the beginning, but being together just for the sake of Skylar would never work out. “Of course, Maggie. Skylar deserves everything, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give her those things while living separately.” Just as I start to walk away, Maggie speaks up. “You know she wrote in her journal at school that the only thing she wants for Christmas this year is a family.” My steps halt at her words, and my heart sinks into my stomach. I hate knowing I’m disappointing Skylar. She’s my world and I’d do anything for her. Anything. Feeling like I’m letting everyone down in my life is starting to eat at me. Skylar’s learning so much in school, meeting new friends, and even had her first friend sleepover. She came over the following day and went on and on about how the dad was in the kitchen making breakfast, and afterward they helped the mom make dessert. While the pie cooled, both parents walked them to the park where they all played together.

Skylar proceeded to ask a hundred questions about why her mommy and daddy didn’t live together. When I tried to explain that some mommies and daddies don’t, she continued with the questions. If I wasn’t feeling like a failure before, I certainly was after that. “Are you excited to meet my teacher, Daddy?” Skylar asks when I pull into the school parking lot. Maggie’s meeting us here, which is another thing Skylar asked about. Why can’t we all drive together? “I sure am, baby.” I smile in the rearview mirror. “Anything I need to know beforehand? You being a troublemaker? Kissing the boys at recess? Falling asleep in class?” I tease and start laughing when her eyes widen in horror and her cheeks turn red. “No!” she screeches. “Gross, Dad!” She scrunches her nose and unbuckles herself before getting out of the car. I try grabbing her hand while we walk up the pathway, but she pulls back. “Dad.” Her tone is completely serious. “Don’t embarrass me, okay?” Freezing in my tracks, I lean back and glance down at her. Did she just say what I think she did? Have I really become Old Dad Status? Before I have a chance to respond, Maggie calls our names from behind. “Mommy!” Skylar yells and starts running. I turn around just in time to see a car slam on their breaks right as Skylar darts across the parking lot. “Skylar!” I shout, running after her. I quickly wave to the driver and wrap my arms around Skylar when I reach her. “You can’t run out like that!” Maggie rushes up to us and wraps her arms around us. “Oh my God!” Both of us are kneeling and thanking God Skylar is okay. “What were you thinking, Skylar?” I scold, leaning back to look at her. “I was running for Mommy,” she explains softly and makes me feel bad for yelling at her. “Skylar, you could’ve been hit by that car,” I tell her, explaining my anger. “You know to look both ways before crossing, baby,” Maggie says. “Thank goodness that car stopped when it did.” I squeeze my eyes not even wanting to think about the alternative. “Let’s get you inside now.” I take her hand in mine and she grabs for Maggie’s so she’s skipping between us. Maggie looks over at me and I glance back at her. We both look down at Skylar’s bright smile, and I know I’d be completely screwing this father thing up without Maggie. Skylar’s practically begging for her parents to be together and give her a family she’s designed in her head, and I can’t stop the ache in my heart when I think about

disappointing her once again. After we’re inside the school, Skylar releases our hands and gives us a quick tour of her area where she stores her coat and backpack. Less than ten minutes later, we’re being called in to speak with her teacher, Mrs. Franco. “She’s a young, bright, and kind little girl. You two should be very proud of her. She seems to be adjusting well to a new school and city. She talks about both of you nonstop and writes about wanting a baby sister in her journal,” she tells us with a cheeky laugh. “It’s quite cute actually. Most kids her age complain about their younger siblings, so it’s actually a breath of fresh air.” I shift uncomfortably in my seat, avoiding Maggie’s stare. I’m sure she’s waiting for me to correct the teacher, but I stay silent. “Skylar’s always been a very outspoken little girl,” Maggie states. “She’s been telling me she wants a little sister since she was three years old.” She laughs nervously and just like that, the conversation changes. Mrs. Franco goes over their curriculum and talks about Skylar’s reading and writing levels. Overall, she’s doing amazing, and I couldn’t be prouder. “You’re doing so well, baby!” I hold my hand out and she slaps it, giving me a highfive. “Oh, except the part where you’ve been pinching all the boys.” “Dad!” she scolds me. I laugh and pick her up. “Just kidding. You’re doing good, kiddo. Keep it up, okay?” “Yes, Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you.” Maggie kisses her cheek. “Can we go to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner?” Skylar asks with wide, eager eyes. “We just went there,” I remind her. “Please, Daddy?” I bow my head in defeat, unable to say no. “Can Mommy come, too?” Sucking in a deep breath, I glance at Maggie and smile. “Of course.” To say spending more time with Maggie lately hasn’t been awkward would be an understatement. It’s not that I loathe her, but being around her always makes me think of our past and all the mistakes I made letting her move Skylar away from me. Our relationship was toxic, and we aren’t the same people who fell in love all those years ago. “Thanks for letting me tag along on your night,” Maggie says, moving her food around her plate. Skylar bailed on us twenty minutes ago, leaving just the two of us. “No biggie,” I tell her, keeping my eyes on Skylar in the game room. “I can tell such a big difference in her since we’ve moved back.” Her words grab my attention back to her. “Yeah?”

She nods with a smile. “I always told myself I could give her enough love for both of us, but nothing could replace having you in her life. She really needs both of us.” “I agree.” “I think she’s confused though.” “About what?” I ask. “Well, what Mrs. Franco said, about Skylar talking about a baby sister. It’s not the first time. She asks me about it a lot, actually.” I shrug, playing it off as not a big deal. “She’s six. She doesn’t get the birds and the bees yet.” “It’s not just that, Logan.” Looking back at Skylar then back to Maggie, she continues. “She’s craving something we aren’t giving her. A family. I’m worried she’s going to grow up resenting us for it.” “She has a family, Maggie. Just because it’s not under one roof, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have one. Skylar’s too young to understand that, but she will,” I try reassuring her, yet she doesn’t seem so sure. After finally convincing Skylar it’s time to leave, I drive us back home and tuck her into bed. Just when I think she’s fallen asleep, she opens her eyes and calls out my name. “Yeah, baby?” I turn back around and walk to the end of her bed. “Do you not love Mommy anymore?” I nearly have a heart attack, completely shocked by her question. “Why do you ask that?” She shrugs casually, suddenly seeming so much older than she is. “Is that why she can’t live here? Because you don’t love her like you love me?” Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything seems to be coming full circle now with what she’s been talking about lately. “That’s not it, baby. Daddy will always love Mommy because she gave me you,” I tell her, hoping that’s enough to satisfy her for now. “Then why doesn’t she live with you?” Swallowing, I scratch at my chin, wondering exactly how to answer. “Mommy and Daddy don’t live together because we aren’t married. We loved each other a long time ago when we had you. No matter what happens, though, we both still love you more than anything, which is why you live at both houses.” “Wouldn’t it be better if we all lived together, though?” she asks. “That way I wouldn’t have to pack my stuffed animals all the time.” I stifle a chuckle, loving how innocent she sounds right now, even though this conversation turned serious in less than two seconds.

“Would it help if I bought you some stuffed animals for here?” I smile. She shrugs, sticking her lower lip out. “But where will the baby live then if you live in different houses?” I raise a brow, hoping that would’ve ended the topic all together. “What baby?” “My baby sister. I told you I wanted one.” Unsure of how to respond to that one without stretching the truth, I tugged at her covers and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s bedtime, baby. We’ll talk about this later, okay?” I say, needing more time to fully prepare on how to answer these intense questions all of a sudden. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll put it on my Christmas list. Santa will figure it out,” she says matter-of-factly. Telling her goodnight one last time, I close her bedroom door halfway before walking down the hallway. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I sit down on the couch and take a swig. Fuck, that was an intense discussion. Skylar’s six turning sixteen, and suddenly she wants answers to all life’s questions. I don’t want to lie to my little girl, but I don’t want to give her false hope either. Skylar’s jumping up and down in her Spiderman costume, waving her hand around with her web gun and directs it at Herman. “Gotcha!” she squeals. “Now you’re mine!” Herman yawns and lays down. Skylar turns and shoots me directly in the face. “Gotcha, Daddy!” She giggles. I smile. “You look pretty cute in your costume. Can I take a quick picture?” “It’s not a costume, Daddy!” she scolds me for the third time. “This is my real skin!” “Okay, baby.” I grin. “Smile!” I snap a few pictures before Skylar skips away and send them to my folks. “All right, it’s time to go.” Skylar ended up staying over last night since Maggie got called in, but now we’re heading back over so we can both take Skylar trick-or-treating. “What about your costume?” Skylar stops moving for a split second and stares at me. “You have to wear one, Daddy.” “I don’t have one.”

“You can borrow one of my capes!” She’s off running to her bedroom before I can stop her. “I don’t think that’s going to fit me,” I tell her when she brings it back into the living room. “I think it will.” Hoping to prove my point, I fail when it actually fits around my neck. Just barely, but enough to button. “Yay!” she screams. “Now a hat!” She runs off again and brings me a cowboy hat that I found at a rummage sale weeks ago. “What kind of costume is this?” I ask when she makes me try the hat on. “A cape and cowboy hat?” “You’re a Super Cowboy!” she exclaims. “Great,” I mutter, keeping the hat and cape on because I know it makes her happy. “‘Can we go now?” “What about Herman?” she asks. We’ve already discussed taking him with us, but now she wanted him in a costume. “I don’t know that anything would work for him, baby.” “I have something!” She runs off again and I wonder how so much energy is bottled up in her little body. “He can wear this!” She returns, giggling. She’s holding her pink tutu she wore for recital. “Sorry, buddy,” I mutter to Herman as I snap the tutu around his belly. “If I have to, so do you.” I wink, knowing he doesn’t have the slightest idea what’s going on. Before Skylar can get anymore ideas, I leash Herman and lead us all out to the car. Just as I pull into the driveway, Maggie walks out of the house. She’s wearing a cowgirl hat and a denim vest. Skylar squeals from the backseat, and now I realize where she got the idea to dress me up. Grabbing Herman, we meet Maggie by the front porch and Skylar jumps into her arms. “You look great!” she tells her, squeezing her arms around her. “Look at Daddy!” Skylar points up at me and giggles again. “I see.” She laughs. “You two match!” Skylar points out. “I made him wear it though. He almost forgot to dress up!” I shrug with a laugh. “Are we all ready now?” Maggie grabs Skylar’s Spiderman candy bucket and leads us out onto the sidewalk. Kids and families are already walking around the neighborhood.

“Don’t forget your manners, Skylar!” Maggie reminds her as she skips up to the first house. “Please and thank yous!” I walk with Herman behind them and enjoy every second of it. Things feel so easy, and for a moment, I forget all the sadness that normally surrounds me. Skylar is the happiest I’ve seen her in weeks. Maggie has been nice and accommodating of my work schedule, so I can still see Skylar between her after-school activities and weekend dance lessons. Things are finally feeling right for the first time in a long time. “Kayla!” I hear a voice yell, and instinctively, I whip my head around in search of her. My heart begins pounding. “Kayla, get back here right now!” a woman shouts again, and when I look across the street, I see a mother yelling for her child. Fuck. I mutter to myself. I think about her nonstop, but I try not to. It hurts too much, and when I think about everything I’ve lost, it’s nearly impossible to not break down. “You okay?” Maggie breaks my internal thoughts as she waits for me to catch up and walks beside me while Skylar stops at the next house. “Yeah.” I flash her a smile. “Thanks for coming with us, by the way. I know this means a lot to Skylar.” “I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” I tell her sincerely. “I hate that I’ve been missing out the last few years.” We end up stopping on the sidewalk as Skylar waits her turn at the next house. A small line of neighborhood kids has formed. “I know and I feel partially to blame for that. If I could re-do it, I would.” “There’s no point in beating yourself up for it, Mags. We both made a lot of mistakes,” I say, to reassure her that I’m not blaming her for our pasts. “I know. I just wanted you to know that, that’s all. Skylar’s really happy.” She glances back at Skylar for a moment before directing her attention to me. “Yeah, she is.” “I know this might sound weird, but…” She hesitates, chewing on her bottom lip. “What is it?” “Do you think we could have dinner some night? Just the two of us?” “Dinner?” I repeat. “Yes. Like after Skylar goes to bed.” She studies my face as I think about her question. I’m not sure what to say. “I want to discuss something with you,” Maggie says. “Okay. What’s that?” “I wanted to discuss the possibility of us getting back together and how much happier all three of us could be. We’ve proven we can co-parent without any issues, and I just think for the sake of what we once had, we should see if those feelings could ever return.”

“Maggie…” “I think we owe it to ourselves, Logan. Don’t you?” My heart leaps into my throat, and I can’t find the words to express what I’m feeling right now. Maggie was my first love, my first everything. Skylar could have the family she wants and maybe that was the plan the entire time.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN KAYLA The holidays used to bring on bouts of sadness until I started volunteering. Now, I spend every Thanksgiving at the soup kitchen serving others turkey and cornbread dressing. I usually help Delores and the other volunteers prepare a Thanksgiving dinner for hundreds of people the day before. It’s become my tradition, one I look forward to every year. As I drive across town, I stop at Starbucks first for my favorite holiday drink— Pumpkin Spice latte. When the barista hands me that bright red holiday cup, I almost burst at the seams with excitement. Taking that first sip brings an instant smile to my face. It tastes like happiness—something I’ve been struggling to find lately. By the time I arrive, I’ve finished my drink and am full of energy. When I walk in with a bop to my step, Delores takes notice. “I think I’m going to need some of that holiday spirit you have,” she tells me, giving me a big hug and looking more tired than usual. She then directs me to the kitchen to start preparing homemade pie crusts. “You didn’t bring my sweetheart with you,” she says, stacking cans of pie fillings on the table as I begin mixing the dough together. I give her a small smile. Every time I think about Logan, my heart lurches forward. It’s been a few weeks, but the pain of it all is still fresh. Never did I imagine it would hurt like this. I miss him, and I’ve replayed his words over a million times. We had love—true love —and we lost it. For him, I’m a reminder of what we had, and to me, it’s a reminder of what I’ve lost. It’s much more than the memories—it was my life, my love, my everything. Dolores’ soft voice brings me back from my thoughts. “Aww honey, did you two break up?” She looks at me with sad eyes, and I don’t have to give her an answer because my silence tells it all. “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. I’ll be all right.” I hope. “That’s my girl.” Delores smiles. “When you’re finished with those crusts, come over and help me with the turkeys.” I nod my head and continue mixing the dough before I roll it out on the table and place it in the pie tins. Once I’ve finished, Gina comes behind me and starts adding the apple filling into the pans. I laugh, thinking of Courtney and all the muffins I still have in my freezer. Though she said she was going to stop baking so much, she hasn’t. Actually, I think it’s only gotten worse with every new negative pregnancy test she gets. After we finish the pies, Delores and I mix the dressing for the turkeys and start stuffing it inside. “Do you know how long I’ve been doing this?” Delores asks.

I feel like I should know the answer to this question, but I can’t remember, which has been the story of my life for months. I shake my head. “Forty years.” She grins. “My husband died when I was close to your age, and it was hard for me during the holidays. To keep myself busy, I started volunteering. Forty years later and this place has become a part of me. It feels like my home.” “Have I heard this story before?” I ask, wondering if I already knew this. “This is all new information for ya.” She winks at me. “I didn’t think I’d ever get over it. I felt like every part of my heart had died with him, but I’m still here. I guess the moral of this story is life keeps going regardless of the pain we endure. We have to make the best of each day we’re given.” I let her words sink in as she places the turkeys in the oven. “And you never remarried, even after all those years?” “A love like ours only happens once in a lifetime. So, I never looked for it again.” Her words rip through me, and I wonder if I’m staring at a future image of myself. As far as I know, I had love like that, and what if I never do again? Confliction overtakes me for just a moment, and I’m grateful to be here and be busy because the thought keeps repeating itself in my mind. I had been distant. I had been feeling uneasy, but was allowing Logan to let me go a mistake? Or was it the way it’s meant to be? Thanksgiving Day comes and goes and everything at the soup kitchen went as planned. I couldn’t be happier to spend it serving others. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Delores said to me in the kitchen and realize they’ve all become my home and family too. As soon as Thanksgiving is over, the radio stations begin playing Christmas music every hour on the hour. Between that and the white lights being hung up in my neighborhood, it’s an indication my favorite time of the year is here. Though it’s only the first day of December, the air’s been crisp this last week, and I’m excited to finally be able to pull my baggy sweaters and Ugg boots out of the closet. I live for this season. My house is usually decorated from top to bottom before Thanksgiving, but this year I’ve been a bit behind. Between finalizing paperwork on the new shelter and searching for volunteers, I’ve found very little time to hang lights around the outside of my house until today. Once I’m all finished decorating, I’m halfway tempted to text Logan a picture of what I accomplished, just out of habit, but I don’t. Over the last few months, he’s been my biggest supporter, someone I could lean on and talk to, but not anymore. Instead I snap a picture of my porch decorated with blinky lights and a huge Santa wreath and send it to Courtney and Viola in a group message. Instantly I see their text bubbles pop up. C: OMG SO CUTE! Come do my house next! V: I want a Santa wreath with dangly legs!

I laugh, because they continue play arguing on who’s getting a Christmas wreath for their doors first. K: OMG you two! LOL! I’ll send you Pinterest links for the wreath! But I do have a question. What are you doing tomorrow night? C: Nothing! V: You mean besides wiping baby butts and picking dog shit off the kitchen floor? Nothing! I laugh when I read Viola’s text, knowing she could use a much-needed break. K: I’ve been meaning to go to the Holiday Magic event at the zoo for years. It opens tomorrow and I really want to go. I heard they’ll have food and wine and tons of Christmas lights! It can be a girls’ night out if you’re both available! I walk inside and let the dogs out while waiting for their replies. C: I’m in! V: Me too! Ginny and James are spending the night with my parents tomorrow night, but TJ will tag along with us. I smile big because I’m so excited my friends are there for me when I need them the most. Though I know I can tell them anything, it’s hard for me to talk about Logan right now. I feel like my heart is fighting against my mind, throwing me into a deep pit filled with confusion and confliction. I can’t recall a time I’ve ever felt so empty after a breakup. The next morning, I wake up so damn excited to focus on something other than the shelter even if it’s only for a few hours with my girls. My new work adventure has been taking all my attention, but with good reason, considering we have our grand opening the week before Christmas. I could’ve waited until after the new year, but time really is of the essence when it comes to saving animals. I’m not complaining, but the only time I’m home is to feed and walk the dogs or sleep. I couldn’t be happier for the distraction, though, because all the pieces are beginning to finally fall into place. After I take the dogs for their second walk to Donny’s, I come home, shower, then change into some leggings with an oversized sweater. I pair the ensemble with some high boots that zip up my calf. As soon as I swipe my long hair back into a bun, I hear a horn honking outside. Courtney is always punctual. That girl doesn’t know how to be late. Viola is in the passenger seat laughing, and I’m sure it’s because Court said something crazy or inappropriate. I open the door and climb into the backseat next to TJ’s car seat. “What?” I ask with a suspicious grin. “Nothing,” Courtney says in a high singsong pitch. “I just won a bet.” “About me?” Her eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror as she reverses from my driveway and heads toward the zoo.

“I told her you’d walk out of the house looking like a basic bitch.” Courtney chuckles. I look down at what I’m wearing then move forward and notice the three of us have on leggings, boots, and sweaters. “We couldn’t have planned this any better.” “I know I’m a basic bitch. All I need is a muffin and a Venti black coffee from Starbucks and I’m good,” Courtney admits. Viola laughs but doesn’t say a word because we know it’s all true. “If you were truly a basic bitch, you’d get a Venti Caramel Frappuccino with an extra shot double blended. Just sayin’,” I say. By the time we make it to the zoo, the sun is setting, which is perfect timing considering it’s a night event. Once we’re inside the gates, I’m in awe by how beautifully it’s all decorated. Twinkling Christmas lights are draped over the main walk area and different animal statues are covered with bright white lights. We stop by the wine garden and I grab three, but Courtney passes since she’s trying to get pregnant and Viola says she’s still breastfeeding, so I shrug and keep all three for myself. Christmas music is playing throughout the park and I love it. Where the sidewalks meet in the center of the zoo, there’s a big Christmas display and North Pole background where Santa Claus is taking pictures with the kids. “We should get a picture together,” Viola suggests, pushing the stroller in that direction. Sadness rushes over me for a second. The last time I took a picture with Santa was in San Francisco when Logan and I decided to start over. The picture is still on my fridge because I haven’t had to heart to take it down yet. Not yet. But maybe after today, I’ll replace it with this one and it’ll be a small step in moving forward. The cool wind causes a chill to crawl up my spine. “Looks like we got in line just in time,” I tell them, looking at how far the line formed in just a short amount time. We’re chatting and laughing together as we wait and when we step closer to the front of the line, I spot a little girl sitting on Santa’s lap. My mouth falls open and Courtney and Viola both stare at me with worry in their eyes. Emotions flood through me, so deep, that my knees almost go weak. I grab Courtney’s hand and squeeze it while trying to find the words. “Oh my God,” I mutter to myself, blinking. “Are you okay? Kayla?” Courtney asks, eagerly. I suck in a deep breath, one that fills my entire lungs and watch the little girl smile for the photo. She hugs Santa one last time before she hops off his lap and walks out with an older couple. I blink my eyes hard, trying to focus, think, and recall. “It’s…Skylar,” I whisper. Skylar. Logan’s daughter. Courtney and Viola both turn around, scanning the crowd, until their eyes land on her. “Yes, that’s Skylar,” Courtney says confirming it.

“And that’s Logan’s parents. Skylar’s grandparents,” I add. Viola and Courtney keep looking at each other then back at me. “I’ve never met his parents before,” Courtney says, not able to tell me for sure, but I know. I remember who they are. “That’s Skylar. Logan’s daughter and his parents. Logan. Oh my God,” I repeat, almost dropping to my knees when the memories rushed back. Blinking repeatedly, I cover my mouth with my hands and hold back tears. “Kayla, what is it?” Viola asks in a panic. “I remember,” I tell them. “I remember everything.” Logan never mentioned her name to me or showed me any pictures, but it’s like someone turned on a light switch when I saw Skylar’s sweet face. Memories flood back in with full force and the only thing I want to do right now is go to Logan. “Everything?” Courtney asks. “Everything,” I confirm. “I have to find Logan.” Courtney and Viola don’t hesitate to rush out and drive me back to my house so I can pick up my car. Tears flood down my face as everything from my past and present being merging together. I almost feel sick thinking about how hurt Logan must be, but I plan to fix that as soon as possible. “So, it all just came back like that?” Courtney asks. They’re both so damn happy to have me back that I barely have the words to express what’s going through my mind right now. “Just like that,” I reply, reaching from the backseat to give them hugs. Grabbing my keys from my purse, I run to my car. I need to speak with Logan right now. Before I put the car in reverse, I suck in a deep breath and say a little prayer, hoping this all works out. Courtney texts me just before I pull out. C: Please let us know what happens. Go get your man! K: I will! Before going to Logan’s unannounced, I send him a quick text. K: I’m coming over. I need to talk to you ASAP. I’m sorry but this can’t wait. There’s no reply but I continue driving to his house, my mind reeling in everything that’s happened between us over the last few years. God, I wanted him so damn bad and had him. He loved me with every part of his heart and soul and then the worst happened. I can’t stop smiling on my way over and by the time I pull into his driveway, I’m anxious as hell to see him again. I nearly run out of my car and up his porch and hurriedly

ring the doorbell. Footsteps echo through his house and become louder as they reach the door. When the door swings open, my smile immediately diminishes. A woman with blonde curly hair wearing nothing but one of Logan’s T-shirts stands at the door. The shirt is way too big and rests just above her knees. Her hair is all tousled up into a messy bun and there’s a wine glass in one hand. If I didn’t loathe the very existence of her being in Logan’s house, I’d say she was even pretty. She’s a spitting image of Skylar with bright blue eyes, and I can only assume it’s Maggie. She sure looks comfortable strutting around half-naked in his house. An uneasy feeling rests in the pit of my stomach and as much as I try to swallow it down, it threatens to surface. The sinking feeling that I just interrupted something steals my breath away. “Can I help you?” she snaps when I don’t say anything. “Um…yeah, sorry. I’m looking for Logan. Is he home?” This is awkward as fuck, but I’m not leaving without him knowing the truth. “Sorry, sweetie.” Her tone is dripping with sarcasm. She glances behind her and grins. “He’s currently tied up at the moment and can’t make it to the door. Can I help you with something?” Maggie gives me a big smile but her eyes are shooting daggers. “I’m sorry,” I mumble, trying to gather my emotions up in a small box and keep them there. I turn around and numbly run back to my car just as she shuts the door. My mind is creating all these scenarios since Logan and I ended our relationship. They must be back together, and it’s too much for me to fully process. I can’t be the one who keeps a picture-perfect family apart, especially for Skylar’s sake. I want nothing more than for Logan to be happy, because he at least deserves that after everything I’ve put him through. Before I completely lose myself, I reverse out of his driveway, but only get a mile down the road before I pull over and text Courtney. K: My heart has just been ripped into a million fucking pieces, Court. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. I went to Logan’s to tell him I finally remembered everything and his ex answered the door wearing practically nothing. Her hair was all messy and she let me know that Logan was “tied up” and couldn’t come to the door. I’m pretty sure they’re back together now, and I interrupted something. I feel like a damn fool. I left as quickly as I could. I’ll never come between Logan and his happiness. Maybe this was meant to happen and losing me was so he could have his family back again. I mean, I don’t know, but it’s what I have to tell myself so I don’t completely lose it. I don’t know if this pain in my heart will ever go away. I swear I’ve got the worst luck on the planet, and I’m doomed to be a single dog lady for the rest of my life. As much as it pains me to say this, I’m going to have to let Logan go for good, and I don’t know if I can without it killing me. Sorry for the long message. I just feel lost. Call me when you get a chance. Going home. It’s as if the universe is crying with me because just as I hit send, rain falls in big heavy drops from the sky. I didn’t even know rain was in the forecast. It pounds on my car as I pull back into traffic, and I drive back home slowly.

Sitting in my car and waiting for the rain to let up, I check the forecast and see it’s supposed to rain and storm all night long. Grabbing my keys and purse, I jump out of the car and run for it. Once I’m inside, completely drenched and feeling sorry for myself, the dogs run up to me, happy as ever to see me. It’s the only thing that puts a small smile on my face and keeps me from completely breaking down. Not only do I remember our past, but now I’m realizing everything that Logan did for me while I was trying to find myself. Is it ironic that I’d now rather forget it all? My heart may have hurt before, but now it feels like it’s being peeled away in layers. After I change out of my wet clothes, I sit on the couch with the pups and mindlessly watch TV. I almost fall asleep when I hear a loud pounding at my door. At first, I wonder if I’m hearing things, but then it happens again. I get up to answer it and look outside to see Logan standing in the rain with his head bowed down. Quickly as I can, I open the door but I’m confused to see him here. “Do you really remember us?” he asks over the pounding of the rain. Water drops against his skin and drips down his face. “Oh my God, Logan.” I swallow hard. “Come inside. You’re soaked.” After he steps inside, I close the door behind him. “Do you really remember everything?” he asks again, brushing the wet strands of his hair off his face. “Yes. You. Us. All of it. But…” I begin to ask how he knew when realization sets in as Logan pulls his phone out of his pocket with my message up on the screen. “Oh, shit.” I shake my head. “I texted you instead of Courtney,” I say, confirming why he’s here. “Again.” “You remember,” he repeats as if he needs more confirmation. “I recognized Skylar and your parents at the zoo and it just all came flashing back. It’s hard to explain, but…” He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. The smile on his face slightly fades. “Logan, wait.” I hold up a hand. “You deserve to have your family. I don’t want to come between you and Maggie. Skylar deserves—” He removes the space between us and covers my mouth with his finger, stopping my words. “We’re not together, Kayla,” he tells me, but I can’t completely comprehend the words. “I had to stay late at work tonight and asked her to stop over to let Herman out. Since she only has a shower in her house, Maggie asked if she could use my tub and I told her it’d be fine. You must’ve come over then. I don’t know what she said to you, but trust me when I say there is nothing between us and never will be.” “Really?” I ask, unable to fully believe it myself.

“Yes. I swear.” My emotions are about to bubble over. All that heartache and horrible scenarios running through my mind weren’t a reality, and I feel the happiness flood back into my heart. There’s nothing in our way; nothing holding us back from being together anymore. I’m overwhelmed as I look into his eyes and see the same happiness on his face. Logan moves in close and before his lips touch mine he slightly pulls back. “Do you remember the first time we kissed?” Grinning, I nod. “Yes.” “In the coffee house,” he adds. Smiling at the memory, I continue. “Yes, when you saved me from my horrible date who spoke Ubbi Dubbi.” I remember, laughing out a choked sob. “Do you remember the fake name I used?” I know he’s testing me to see if I really remember, and I’m proud to know that answer. It’s a day I could never forget now. I think back to that moment, when our lips touched for the first time and remember the way it made me feel then and how his lips made me feel now. “William Prince,” I confirm with a smile. “But you’ll always be my Knight in shining armor.” Without a word, he cups my face in his hands and pulls our mouths together. When our lips collide, shivers run up my spine at the desperation of his touch. I feel his kiss with every fiber of my being, and there’s no mistaking the way I feel for him. Moaning against my lips, his tongue sends heat straight down my body. He pulls back slightly, grabs my cheeks and looks me straight in the eyes. “I love you so damn much, Angel. I always have. I would’ve waited the rest of my goddamn life for you.” Tears of happiness form on the brims of my eyes, and it’s hard for me to find my words, but somehow, I do. “I love you, too. I always have and always will.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN LOGAN Nothing could’ve prepared me for that text message. I’ve been stuck working some late shifts and when it got too late, I asked Maggie to take Herman out, but knowing Kayla saw her there half-dressed made my heart drop. Though I knew we’d never work out, Maggie’s been desperately trying to get us back together. My heart will always be with Kayla. Nothing could ever change that. So, when I read her message that’s obviously meant for Courtney, I immediately think it’s too good to be true. I drop everything at work and race over to her house in the pouring rain. I drive in a haze and as soon as I see her face, I nearly lose it. I press my lips to hers and nothing has ever felt more right in my entire life. Hearing her repeat those three magical words to me has me unraveling. Breaking apart isn’t an option, and the only thing I want to do right now is kiss her senseless. Wrapping her up in my arms, I lift her up until her legs wrap around me and I walk us to her bedroom. Moaning against my lips, I break away just long enough to help lift her shirt. She grabs for mine, and I’m quick to toss it aside. “I so want to take my time with you, baby, but I don’t know that I can.” “Then don’t,” she whimpers, nearly begging. “You’ve waited long enough.” “I would’ve waited a lifetime, Kayla. Even if it killed me, I would’ve waited.” “I feel like I need to apologize for the way I acted. You were so great and I—” “Please don’t apologize,” I interrupt, brushing the loose hair strands off her face. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you tried, and given the situation, that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for. I should be apologizing to you. I’m the one that let you go,” I say, and it still pains me to think about that. “You were only doing what you thought was best for me. I hate that I put you through that.” I press a gentle kiss to her lips and smile. “There’s no way we could’ve known what was going to happen, so we did the best we could.” “God, I love you so much.” She grabs my face and our mouths smash together. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m so glad you’re mine.” “Don’t ever say that, Angel.” I wrap a hand around her neck and pull her lips back on mine. “Now let me take good care of you.” Kissing down her jawline and neck, my lips trail down her collarbone and bare chest. I cup her breast and massage the other with my tongue. She moans as I kneel in between her legs, sliding her panties and leggings down to her ankles. She falls back on the bed and I toss the clothing aside. I can’t deny the way her legs open for me drives me fucking insane. Sliding my arms up her thighs, I press my mouth

against her slit, tasting her arousal. “You never cease to amaze me,” I tell her, smiling against her thigh. “Always so goddamn wet for me.” I slip a finger inside and feeling how tight she is has me aching for more of her. “Yes…” she moans, her head falling back. “Fuck it.” Unable to wait any longer, I remove the rest of my clothing and crawl over her body, pressing my lips against her skin on my way. “You need me as much as I need you,” I whisper against her ear, positioning myself at her entrance. “Tell me you want this, Angel.” “Yes,” she whimpers. “Please.” Her hips arch and I slide inside her, feeling her tightness immediately envelop me. It feels so goddamn good, it’s hard to control myself. Wrapping her legs around my waist, I press my lips to hers and kiss her senseless. This feeling, this connection between us, this beautiful thing we share—it’s indescribable. I never want to stop making love to my girl. She’s everything and more of who I could’ve imagined giving my heart to. Considering she woke up with no memory of us yet still tried to make us work just shows how sweet and caring Kayla really is. The past and our history are what we built our relationship on in the first place, and without that, we were in two different places. “I missed you,” I murmur against her lips. “Every day without you sucked more than the last.” “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her eyes squeezing shut as if she’s trying to hold back her emotions. “I know, baby. It’s not your fault.” I move my hips against hers, feeling how deep I am. “Open your eyes. I want to see you.” She does, and I speed up my pace. “God, you’re so fucking gorgeous, Kayla. Everything about you is—inside and out.” I wrap my hand around her neck and keep us in sync as I help bring her over the edge. She’s so wet. I’m breathless and hungry. Her body crumbles underneath me in waves of heated bliss. She tenses and tightens, and just as her body relaxes, I chase my own release. My hand wraps around her breast and squeezes as my mouth finds hers. “Fuck,” I growl, as her legs tighten around me again. She arches her back, and I thrust against her hips one final time. “I love you,” she murmurs against my lips. Hearing her words brings a rush of emotions through me. “You have no idea how much that means to me, Angel. I love you so fucking much.”

After cleaning up, we settle into the middle of the bed together. I wrap her in my arms and hold her against my chest. Feeling the beats of her heart, I press my palm against her chest to be certain this isn’t a dream. “What is it?” she asks softly. The corner of my lips tilts up slightly. “Just making sure you’re real.” She brings her hand up and wraps her fingers around my wrist, holding me there. “It beats for you. Only you.”

KAYLA Peeling my eyes open, it’s like I’m seeing everything for the first time. My heart hammers in my chest as I look around and feel Logan lying next to me. He’s sleeping so peacefully, his breaths slow and steady. I still can’t believe last night happened, that every memory of us returned, and I almost lost him. I almost lost everything because Logan Knight is my everything. “Go back to sleep,” Logan whispers, brushing his fingers along my cheek. “The dogs need to go for their walk,” I remind him, Kristoff already jumping on the bed and nuzzling his nose into the blanket. “I’ll walk them.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips. “You sleep.” He winks, and I don’t know what it is when he does that, but it has all my insides buzzing with need. “Okay,” I respond in a sleepy haze. “Thank you.” Before sliding out of the bed and slipping on his boxers and jeans, he kisses my forehead. I watch him move around my room, the muscles of his back flexing and tightening as he reaches for his shirt and puts it on over his head. God, my man is beautiful. Admiring him, I shift in the bed, pulling the sheets up to my chest. I want to drape my body against him, again and again, but he wrangles up the dogs and gets them all excited for their walk. “We’ll be back.” As soon as he opens the bedroom door, all three dogs storm out. I hear them thumping down the hallway as Logan shuts the door behind him. I can’t imagine a better way to wake up. Twenty minutes later, I hear the dogs and Logan return. Hoping Logan will come back to bed with me, I’m left feeling just a bit disappointed when he doesn’t. However, moments later, I hear his footsteps down the hallway and when my door starts to creak open, I’m speechless at what I see. Logan walks in completely naked holding a tray with a box on top.

When I sit up, my eyes scan down the length of his body and I burst into a fit of giggles the moment I see a pink glazed donut with sprinkles hanging from his hard cock. I can tell he had to modify it a bit and widen the opening so it’d fit over him. “So, the dogs and I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed,” he says, kicking the door shut behind him. “But since Kristoff tried biting my dick off, I told them they had to stay out there.” “Oh my God.” I can’t stop smiling. “I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t mind biting your dick right now either.” I dramatically lick my lips. “Okay, but saying things like that will make everything deflate in five seconds.” I chuckle, smiling and appreciating the way he’s amusing me. Stepping closer, he sets the tray down on the bed. “So, I’m hoping you haven’t forgotten this little fantasy of yours, because otherwise I’m going to look like a presumptuous asshole.” He grins. Sucking in my lower lip, I gaze down to his erection again and am practically drooling for it. “Oh, I definitely remember that.” I brush my fingers along his thigh, inching closer to his thick erection. “But perhaps, you can jog my memory and show me exactly where your sweet spot is.” I push the covers off, exposing my bare body, and sit on the edge of the bed. I never bothered to dress after last night. “It’d be my pleasure.” He stalks forward until he’s standing in front of me. His cock is in direct line of my mouth. “As much as I want to sink deep back inside you, I’ve been dying to get your mouth on me ever since you first mentioned it.” “To be fair, you weren’t supposed to see that message.” I blush, biting down on my bottom lip. “But since you have, I can’t leave you disappointed.” “I made sure to get your favorite flavor too.” He sheepishly grins. “Although Donny was quite confused as to why I asked him to hollow it out more, so you might have to give him some half-assed explanation next time you see him.” At that, I burst out laughing, just thinking what Donny must have thought with his request. “Well saddle up, Detective.” I spread my legs open so he can stand in between them. “You left me famished last night.” A smirk slides across his charming face. “Bon appétit.” I palm his shaft and drag my tongue all the way up to the tip where I pull him into my mouth. Groaning, he arches his back as his head falls on his shoulders. God, I love watching him while I touch and suck him. I love how turned on he gets and that I’m the reason behind it. The moaning and grunting and the way he whispers my name gets me so worked up before he even touches me. I kiss down his shaft until it reaches the donut. After taking a bite, I smile up at him. As I continue rotating my hand around his length, I begin sliding my tongue along it.

“You know I could start getting used to this kind of treatment,” he teases, wrapping my hair around his fist and pulling it to the side. “As long as you continue bringing me donuts, I won’t be complaining.” I smile, taking another small bite. The pink frosting tastes like strawberries and cream, which is a great combination with the taste of him. I take him back into my mouth and grab onto his hips, pulling his body closer to mine and his cock in deeper. He groans, tightening his fist in my hair. Cupping his balls with one hand, I rotate my palm around him as I suck on the tip. “Holy fuck,” he curses, his head falling back again. I can feel he’s close, so I speed up my pace and drag my teeth down his shaft until I pop the tip back inside. “Goddamn, Angel.” Taking another bite of the donut, I dramatically lick my lips as he looks down at me. “I swear to God, your lips were made for me.” His eyes are filled with heat and hunger, and I still can’t believe this man is mine. “Fuck, baby. I’m going to come if you don’t slow down.” Flashing him a devilish grin, I continue, harder and faster. The frosting starts to melt and drip along his cock and with every stroke, it spreads more. I lick it up, wrapping my lips around his shaft until he’s cleaned up. “I think it’s safe to say this is the only way I want to eat donuts from now on,” I tease. “Sweet with a musky flavor. Think Donny would take my suggestion for putting that on his menu?” He laughs, his erection growing harder. His balls tense up and I continue stroking and sucking, urging him to release. “As long as I get to be there when you ask him,” he says, gritting his teeth, unable to hold back any longer. I continue pumping him as he releases in my mouth. I love the way he grits his teeth and curses as he pulls my hair. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. “Goddamn,” he says, his body relaxing. He leans down and presses his lips to mine, getting a taste. Then he pushes back and kneels between my legs. Grabbing behind my knees, he scoots me back until my body rests against the pillows and my legs are in the air. His mouth is on me before I even have time to hold on. Even though we’ve been together dozens of times, it’s a much-needed reunion that had to happen. Although it feels like no time has passed, the reality is it’s been months since we’ve been together as us. He devours me, alternating between sucking my clit and stroking his tongue along my slit. His muscles in his arms and shoulders flex as he holds my hips up and sinks his tongue in deeper. I’m on the edge, digging my fingers into the sheets and nearing release. With toes curled, my feet stay wrapped around his neck, and within seconds, I’m screaming out his name. I don’t know how he manages to take me over the edge so quickly, but he doesn’t

stop at that. Pushing two fingers inside me while flicking my clit, I can barely hold on anymore. “Oh my God! I can’t…” I pant, begging for release—needing release. His fingers fuck me harder, his tongue flicks faster. My body tightens, and nothing could’ve prepared me for the wave of pleasure that explodes through me. Screaming, my hips jolt off the bed as his mouth sinks deeper against my clit, licking up my arousal. “Sweet Baby Jesus,” I hum across his lips when he leans over and kisses me, letting me taste the mixture of us. “If that was breakfast, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle lunch.” We laugh against each other’s mouths, and when his hands grip my cheeks, he presses another deep kiss against it. “I’m just getting started, baby. I’m already planning dinner. Three-course meal, plus dessert.”

CHAPTER TWENTY LOGAN Life has a funny way of working itself out. That thought keeps running through my mind as I talk to Kayla on the phone. “Do you want to come over and help decorate our Christmas tree?” I ask. “I’m picking Skylar up in just a bit and I’m sure she’d love to have you join us.” She squeals. “Yes, I’d love that!” “Perfect! She loves everything about Christmas just as much as you.” “Well, who doesn’t love Christmas?” Kayla asks sarcastically, and I can tell she’s smiling big. She loves Skylar, and I honestly think she kept her in a special place inside her heart. Skylar is what allowed my Angel to remember everything, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. I laugh at the excitement in Kayla’s voice. “You’re right. I’ll text you when I pick her up so you can head over.” “Sounds great. I love you,” Kayla tells me before hanging up. “I love you too, Angel. See you soon.” I’ll never get tired of hearing those three magical words. Now, she makes sure to tell me every time before we hang up just in case one of us loses our memory or something. Her words, of course; not mine. At least she’s comfortable making jokes about the accident now. It’s brought us closer than ever. Shortly after our phone conversation, I head over to Maggie’s to pick up Skylar. Before they moved here, I never took the time to decorate for Christmas. Now, it’s going to be an annual tradition, and I couldn’t be more excited about that. By the time I make it to Maggie’s, it’s late afternoon. I walk up the sidewalk and knock on the door and she answers wearing nothing but a sports bra and little spandex shorts. Sweat is on her brow, and she smiles as soon as she realizes it’s me. “Skylar is in her room playing,” she tells me, walking back into the living room where an exercise DVD is paused on the television. Just as I’m about to start talking about Santa, Skylar runs from her bedroom and gives me a big hug. She’s carrying a bag full of homemade ornaments she made for the tree at my house. “Daddy! I’m ready to decorate now!” Skylar holds up her bag and then points at the tree in the corner of Maggie’s living room. “Mommy let me decorate it almost all by myself. Do you like it?” “I do, sweetie. It’s perfect.” Most of the ornaments are bunched in the front in a small section at the bottom of the tree where Skylar can reach, but I love how proud she is of herself.

“Be good for your daddy,” Maggie reminds her, giving Skylar a hug and adjusting her jacket because it’s chilly outside. After Skylar tells her goodbye, she grabs my hand and we walk toward the door. I flash Maggie a small smile before leaving. Things have been kind of weird between us ever since she asked about us getting back together. Rejecting her proposition wasn’t easy, because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her all over again, but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do. My feelings would never match hers. My heart would only belong to Kayla. Once Skylar is buckled in her booster seat, I put on my seatbelt and text Kayla to let her know she can start heading over. As we drive back, Skylar sings Christmas carols that she learned in school and even gets me to sing along with her. By the time we make it to the house, she’s all smiles and giggles, and full of energy. Just as we get out of the car, I see Kayla pulling into the driveway behind us. Perfect timing. Skylar wastes no time running to her and giving her a big hug as soon as she steps out of the driver’s seat. “I’ve missed you!” Skylar tells her. “Aww, I’ve missed you too,” Kayla says back before reaching into her backseat and grabbing a bag. “I brought these for your tree.” Kayla reaches into the bag and shows her some of her own ornaments. “I thought you’d like some of these. I’ve had them since I was a little girl and would always hang them on my tree.” I know how special they must be for Kayla considering she spent Christmas in various foster homes. They were probably the only piece of her that was consistent every year. Skylar holds up a Disney princess ornament for me to see. She picks a few more up and shows them off. “They look perfect for you, sweetie.” There’s so much admiration on Kayla’s face when she looks at Skylar. It makes me so damn happy to know the woman I love with all my heart also adores my daughter. They’ve only met a couple times, but knowing the kind of person Kayla is, I know she’ll give it her all to form a solid relationship with her. It also makes me wonder why I waited so long to give Kayla a chance in the first place, but I have to remind myself that everything happens when it’s supposed to. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned that to now be truer than ever. The air is cool, and I can’t wait for us to get inside so I can light the fireplace. Once we’re inside and unbundled, I turn on some Christmas music and get the Christmas tree out of the garage where it’s been since I bought it years ago. Luckily, the tree is only in three different sections, so it takes me less than five minutes to get it set up. Skylar continues to bounce up and down as she eagerly waits until she can start putting her ornaments on. Herman is super curious and isn’t sure what to think of it. I laugh and shake my head at him. “Which lights do you want?” I ask Skylar. “The colorful ones or all white?” I hold up both sets so she can look at them. Skylar looks over at Kayla who encourages her to

choose. “Colorful!” Skylar finally answers. Kayla moves the tree to the middle of the room and gives Skylar one end and tells her to run around the tree while guiding the lights in the proper place. The sound of their laughter together is music to my ears. I can already see how much Skylar loves Kayla. Though Maggie and I couldn’t give her the family she deserves, there’s no reason she can’t have two happy families. Once the lights are on the tree, I move it to the corner of the room. The three of us start adding decorations on the tree. “I almost forgot an ornament for you.” Kayla looks up at me with a sparkle in her eye. She hands over a gingerbread couple with our names engraved on them along with the year. It brings me back to our date in San Fran and I’m reminded of how much we’ve gone through. “Thank you,” I quietly lean over and say, trying to fight the urge to pull her into my arms. “It belongs on your tree,” she tells me with a wink. That’s my Angel, always being so thoughtful. “Look, Daddy,” Skylar says showing us how she covered the bottom half of the tree with her handmade ornaments. “It looks great, baby!” Skylar give us a big toothy grin. Kayla compliments her and makes sure to put some ornaments toward the top, too. Looking at them and how truly happy we are, I know this will be a holiday tradition for us throughout the years. “Will Skylar be here on Christmas Eve?” Kayla whispers loud enough for only me to hear while Skylar teases Herman with a bone. “I’m not sure yet. It’s Maggie’s holiday to work but I’m not sure what her hours will be yet. I should know something closer to then.” “I think it’d be great if she could be, but if not, we can still do something special.” She smiles, knowing having Skylar here would be amazing. Kayla leans forward and places a sweet kiss on my cheek. After she pulls away, I run my hand across her back and pull her closer to me. “I can’t believe Christmas is only a few weeks away now, and the opening of the shelter is next week already.” I know she’s nervous, but Kayla has been working nonstop on this, and it won’t be anything short of perfect. “It’s going to be amazing. I’m so proud of everything you’ve been doing,” I tell her, meaning it wholeheartedly. “I hope so.” She flashes a nervous smile. “Should we finish the tree now?” She winks. Soon the tree is fully decorated with way too many ornaments, mixed with Skylar’s, the ones Kayla brought, and the new ones I bought to fill in. I look at it and smile. Kayla

steps away for a moment and digs into one of the Christmas bins. She then walks over to me with something hidden behind her back. “What?” I tilt my head, smiling. “I thought maybe you’d want to put the angel on top,” she says, removing the tree topper from behind her back and handing it to me. “Yes, Daddy!” Skylar squeals, bouncing up and down. “All Christmas trees need a tree topper!” I lift Skylar up and press a kiss to her cheek. “You’ve got it, sweetie. Want to help?” “Yeah!” Walking us over to the tree, I hand the angel to Skylar. I position her higher so she can place it on top. Once she’s satisfied with the placement, I take a step back and make sure it’s level. “Okay, time to turn the lights on!” I set Skylar down and she runs over to Kayla who’s standing in the middle of the living room. I turn the switch on and walk behind the girls and watch as the tree lights up and twinkles while the angel sparkles like glitter. Skylar gasps then giggles as the dress of the angel and the halo change colors. Kayla grabs my hand and squeezes as Skylar jumps up and down about how she loves it all. “It’s my favorite tree ever, Daddy!” “That makes me so happy, sweetheart! I’m glad you like it.” I place my hand on Skylar’s shoulders and she turns around and wraps her arms around Kayla and me. I lead Kayla to the couch and set Skylar on my lap as the three of us stare up at the tree, completely mesmerized while the fire crackles in the background. After a few moments, Kayla suggests we watch a Christmas movie, and once I get it all set up for them, go into the kitchen to start dinner. The smile never leaves my face as I whip up a chicken pasta dish. Not long after we eat, Skylar falls asleep on the couch. She barely made it halfway through Home Alone. Being as quiet and careful as possible, I carry Skylar in my arms down the hallway and tuck her into bed. Once I’m back in the living room, I pull Kayla into my arms and hold her tight. “God, I’m so happy to have you back,” she says, smiling up at me. “I was just thinking the same thing,” I tell her right before our lips crash together like two lost lovers who finally found each other. Running my fingers through her hair, it causes Kayla to sink deeper into the kiss. By the time we break apart, our lips are swollen and bodies are full of desire, but with Skylar in the next room, I don’t want to chance her hearing us—or worse. With hooded eyes, Kayla looks up at me and shrugs. “I should probably get going. Early morning. Can we raincheck this for tomorrow night?” She flashes me a knowing grin.

“Yes, abso-fucking-lutely.” I brush my lips against hers one last time before she stands. I don’t want her to go, but with Skylar staying over, I know it’s for the best. However, it won’t be long before Kayla is with us permanently. The next night, I drive over to Kayla’s for dinner. She’s trying out a new recipe that I’m kind of nervous about. Snails or something, but she swears it’s going to be delicious. Just as I pull into the driveway, I see a shadow round the back of the house. Instinct immediately tells me something is off. Wanting to make sure my mind isn’t playing tricks, I get out and go to check it out. Stepping lightly, I move to the back of the house and see a man trying to break in through her back door. Rage and anger fuels me as I move toward the man and tackle him to the ground with all my strength. Just as I’m about to slam my fist into his face, I see who it is. Recognition flashes across Herman’s old owner’s face, too, and he tries to push me away. He reeks of alcohol and sweat and is no match against me. “I’ve already warned you once,” I say, just as my fist reconnects with his face. “Get the fuck off me, you little prick!” he slurs, and that’s when I hear Kayla’s dogs barking in the background. Just as I turn to look for them, Herman’s owner manages to push me from on top of him and we wrestle across the grass. My knuckles connect with his face again just as Kayla steps outside and sees the two of us. She screams and I yell at her to call 9-1-1. Just before a fist slams into my chest, I hear her talking to someone on the phone. What feels like an eternity of fighting later, the two of us are being pulled apart by two police officers. Shortly after, handcuffs are being snapped on his wrists as I’m being moved away from him. Glancing up, I see Drew as he places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “You really showed him, didn’t you?” He cocks a knowing smirk. “What are you doing here?” I ask, knowing this isn’t his normal schedule. “I picked up an extra shift for someone. Then I get a call to rush over here and rescue your ass.” Drew laughs. “Not that you really needed rescuing. You might’ve killed the guy if we didn’t show up though.” I wish I could laugh, but my mind keeps making up terrible scenarios of what could’ve happened if I wouldn’t have driven up when I did. What ifs plagues me. “That asshole was breaking in again. I might’ve killed him, so it’s probably good you came when you did.” Kayla walks up and wraps her arms around me. I hold her, not wanting to let her go, and I feel her shaking. I’ll be damned if I ever let anything happen to her again. Not on my watch, not fucking ever. “He has a warrant out for a DWI and now add trespassing and attempted breaking and entering, he’ll be going to jail tonight and sit there for a while.” Drew grins, knowing

that’ll make me happy. “Also, a restraining order probably needs to be filed against him.” “Yes, definitely. And good. He deserves to be behind bars. Maybe he’ll finally learn his lesson and stay the fuck away.” Before Drew and his partner take off, he takes my official statement for the police report. After they drive away, I follow Kayla inside where gourmet hamburgers and fries are on plates. I burst into laughter for the first time that night. “You said you were cooking snails.” I pull her into my arms as she laughs against my chest. “Gotcha?” Kayla kisses me quick on the lips and lingers just for a moment. “Thank you, Logan. Thank you for always protecting me. You really are my knight in shining armor.” “I’ll always protect you, Angel. For the rest of my life. Forever.” I place a kiss on her forehead as she wraps her arms around my waist. We stand pressed together for a moment. I’m just happy she’s okay and nothing terrible happened. For the rest of my life, I’ll protect her. I’ll be her real-life knight in shining armor for as long as I live.

KAYLA I often wonder what I did to deserve someone like Logan Knight. Aside from being incredibly caring and loving, he’s honestly everything I could ever wish for in a man. As the week passes, Logan and I settle back into our old routine of taking turns of staying at each other’s house, breakfast and dog walking, and having dinner together. On his nights he has Skylar, we all have dinner together and watch Disney movies until she falls asleep on the couch with us. I can’t believe how happy that little girl makes me, and I’m beyond grateful for her being in our lives. Without Skylar, I don’t know if I’d have my memory back right now. All I know for certain is every day I’m with Logan, I know deep in my heart this is the way it should be. Us—together. Standing outside, I watch the sign of my shelter being hung and excitement floods my veins. I can’t believe it’s really happening. Guardian Angel Animal Rescue is going to save so many lives—as many as I possibly can. It still feels so surreal that it’s all finally coming together and that I made this crazy dream of mine a reality. However, it wasn’t without consequence. To think I quit my high paying job to build a nonprofit freaks me out a bit. While working for Heavenly Designs did make me completely miserable, without the accident, I’m not sure when I would’ve realized there was more to life than being a corporate robot. I’m not usually one to stand up for myself to an authority figure, but something inside me snapped. Having a different perspective on life was a wake-up call that I needed something more fulfilling in my life. As the sign is centered above the door and the large one is hung by the street, I know this is it. Tomorrow is the grand opening, and I still can’t believe it’s already here.

The next morning, I wake up with a start. Rolling over, I place a kiss on Logan’s cheek. He pulls me into his arms and presses a sweet kiss to my lips. With messy hair and sleepy eyes, he kisses my neck and trails kisses all the way to my lips. “I’ll never get enough of this,” he says with a raspy sexy morning voice. I chuckle, feeling his morning wood pressed against me. Any other time, I’d go exploring and relieve that for him, but I’m way too worked up to stay in bed today. “It’s time, babe! Today is the day!” I do a little dance against him, eager and anxious. The dogs can sense it because they’re up and running around too. Sliding out of bed, I slip my clothes back on from last night that Logan conveniently tore off. “Get up sleepy head! We have a huge day!” I nearly skip around my room, gathering up everything I need to get ready. “I’ll walk them while you take a shower,” Logan offers from the bed, looking sexy as hell as he lies there bare chested and all tangled in the sheets. “Sounds good!” I say, already heading down the hallway. I walk to the shower and get in. As I’m washing my hair, I hear Logan leave with the dogs. Laughing, I know they’re in a special mood this morning so they’re going to give him hell. Just as I’m drying off, I hear Logan re-entering the house and the dogs running around. He fills up their water and food dishes all while muttering to them what jackasses they were being this morning. I step out with a towel wrapped around my body. “Don’t talk to my babies like that,” I pretend to scold him. “They have feelings, you know?” He looks up at me and cocks his head. “They ganged up on a poor, innocent little poodle and it took every bit of my body strength to pull them back. They are jackasses.” “Nah, that’s just how they tell girls they like her,” I tease. “Well, if that’s the case, she’ll be knocked up in no time.” I laugh as Logan takes a few steps forward and wraps his hands around my waist, causing my towel to fall to the floor. With a devilish grin, his eyes wander down my body. “So…how much time do we have?” he asks, grabbing my bare ass in his hands and pulling me against the hardness in his jeans. I shrug, unable to really deny him this time. “Enough,” I whisper against his lips. Logan picks me up in his arms and carries me to the bedroom. Before the dogs can run in, he slams the door shut with his foot. He sets me down on the bed and his mouth is on me before my head hits the pillow. A deep groan releases from his mouth before he kisses up my stomach, lingers on my nipples, and moves to my mouth. Running my fingers through his hair, I pull his mouth close to mine. “You’re so damn beautiful, Angel.” Although he tells me that every chance he gets, and I wholeheartedly believe him, I still blush when I hear it. I love how much he worships me.

Logan opens my legs, tasting and teasing me. His full lips kiss along my thighs before moving back to my clit and it’s almost too much for me to handle. Knowing we’re stretched for time, he doesn’t wait much longer before stripping off his clothes and entering me. Feeling him deep inside is my ecstasy, and when he picks up the pace, it doesn’t take long before I’m losing myself on him. The orgasm rushes through me, taking my words and replacing them with moans. Not much time passes before Logan fills me with himself in long, hard thrusts. Before we break apart, Logan and I hold each other, kissing, telling each other how much we love the other. It’s mornings like this that set the precedence for the day, and this is going to be one to remember. After a moment, we clean ourselves up, and I finish getting ready while Logan showers. As we drive across town toward the shelter, my nerves begin to get the best of me. Though I don’t say a word about my worries, Logan interlocks his fingers with mine and presses a soft kiss on my hand. I love that he knows exactly when I need comforting, even if it’s temporary. Before we turn into the parking lot, the sign acts as a beacon to the building with a gold halo sparkling in the winter sunlight. A few volunteers are waiting by the door chatting and smiling. After we pull in, Courtney and Drew follow suit, and a minute later, so does Viola and Travis. The smile that fills my face might be permanently stuck there. Court and Viola rush up to me and envelope me into a big bear hug. “I’m so glad you two are here!” I squeeze back. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Court tells me, and Viola smiles in agreement. They follow me to the front and watch me unlock the door. I start with giving them a tour of the building, showing them the office, the playpen area, toys, food, supplies, and storage. Mostly everything was donated, which has really helped, and I know we’re starting off on the right foot. Before lunch, the mayor arrives and city officials hang a ribbon across the front door. I’m handed the golden scissors just before Mayor Steinberg gives his welcoming speech. Anxious butterflies have surfaced in my stomach as I listen to his powerful and hopeful words. Once he’s finished, we take a picture for the newspaper reporter and people continue snapping pics as I cut the red ribbon. It all happens so fast that I feel like once I blinked, it was over, but it’s one of the biggest moments of my life. I find Logan in the crowd, and he’s all smiles, and I can tell how proud he is of me. That man is my biggest supporter, best friend, and lover—and I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet. Once the short ceremony is over, people start flooding in to congratulate me and take a look around. Delores stops by and tells me how happy she is for me, and just as she gives me a hug, Donny pops in and says hello. I introduce the two of them and I see a spark of something in both of their eyes.

“Donny owns a pastry business close to my house that specializes in the best donuts ever, including doggy donuts,” I tell Delores. “And Delores works at the soup kitchen right down the street. She’s been there for forty years,” I tell Donny. I smile when they begin chatting with each other, and I wonder if they’ll go on a date. Maybe, for once, I’ll play the matchmaker. Warm arms wrap around my body, and I turn around and see Logan. “I’m so proud of you, Angel. You did it. Everything is perfect.” “Do you like the name?” I ask. I’ve told him the name before, but not sure if I mentioned the meaning behind it. “I love it.” I kiss him in front of everyone. “Well, I’m glad. You inspired the name after all.” “I did?” He furrows his brows. “Yep.” I smile. “You called me your angel since day one, and you’ve always been my knight in shining armor—my guardian. You’ve given me a second chance at living my best life, and I want to offer those animals the same love and protection.” Logan holds me, and while I feel my emotions starting to creep up, I’m full of happiness and adoration. I can’t believe this is my life. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE LOGAN Since Maggie has to work the night shift on Christmas Eve, she drops Skylar off just before five. I take notice at how tired Maggie looks. She’s been working nonstop lately. I know she’s a great mother and packing up to move closer to me proves that more than ever, especially now that she has to co-parent with me full-time. “I’ll get her tomorrow morning. I get off at five a.m. so I’ll run home, grab a few hours of sleep and then pick her up so she can open presents at my house,” Maggie says at the door. “That sounds great,” I tell her. “I can drop her off if that’d be easier too.” Since she’ll be working most of the night, I’m sure she’s going to need as much sleep as possible. “That will be great, actually. Thanks, Logan.” Maggie gives me a smile before walking to her car and pulling out of the driveway. “Daddy, can we make cookies for Santa?” Skylar asks after I shut the door. “And we need to leave a glass of milk out, too!” she reminds me with an eager look in her eyes. I know she’s so damn excited, she can barely contain herself. This will be the first time she’s ever spent Christmas at my house. “Of course, baby. Kayla is coming over too. I think she has a special surprise for you, too.” “No way!” Skylar is overly excited, nearly jumping out of her clothes Just as I mention Kayla’s name, my phone dings with a text from her. K: Was thinking of bringing the ingredients for sugar cookies over. For Santa, of course. What do you think? L: I think Santa loves sugar cookies ;) K: I bet he does! I’ll be there in an hour. These last few weeks with Kayla have been perfect. Every moment I spend with her, I know this is what a relationship is supposed to be like. No arguing, no fighting over insignificant things, we just enjoy each other’s company and it never gets old. The guys at the department are getting annoyed of seeing how sickly happy I am, but I don’t care. I’ll wear my lovesick smile loud and proud, even if they give me shit for it daily. Skylar and I watch Frosty the Snowman on TV until Kayla arrives. She walks in with grocery bags full of ingredients for cookies and reindeer snacks. As soon as she sees me, she gives me a kiss then heads straight to the kitchen. Skylar follows behind her. I lean against the archway and watch the two of them make cookies and mix a bunch of pretzels, chocolate, and nuts together for the reindeer. The kitchen ends up looking like a bunch of elves vomited in there, but I can’t even care because the house smells amazing and my girls are beyond happy. “What did you ask Santa for Christmas?” Kayla makes small talk with Skylar.

“I asked for a puppy so Herman would have a friend,” Skylar says causing Kayla to look at me with wide eyes. Shit. I had no idea Skylar wanted a puppy because she never mentioned it on any of her lists or to Maggie. At this point, all I can do is laugh. She’s already catching the Kayla-curse. After dinner, we all head outside in our boots and sweaters so Skylar can sprinkle the reindeer snacks on the ground. She hums Christmas tunes while Kayla helps her, and after a while, Kayla pulls out her phone and clicks on the Santa tracker app. “You should start getting ready for bed,” Kayla tells Skylar with a knowing grin. “You don’t want Santa to skip the house because you’re still awake.” Kayla’s eyes bug out, hoping it convinces her it’s time to go to bed. At first Skylar doesn’t fall for it, but then tries to negotiate more time. “I’ll go to sleep once we place the milk and cookies out for Santa.” “Okay, deal.” After an entire plate of cookies and a giant cup of milk are set out along with a letter Skylar wrote to him earlier, we all end up on the couch. Skylar leans her head against Kayla’s body and refuses to part with her. Within the next hour, she’s sound asleep in Kayla’s arms. I basically have to pry her from Kayla, which makes me smile. After I tuck Skylar in her bed, I walk back to the living room and settle down next to my Angel. “Did you know about the puppy?” she asks with a laugh. “No idea. She never once mentioned that to me.” “So…do you need one?” Kayla asks with a devious smile. Of course, if anyone could get me a puppy the night before Christmas, it’d be her. “What do you think? Does Herman really need a friend?” I look over at Herman who’s happily asleep in front of the fireplace. He’s lying down, enjoying life without a care in the world. “You know I’d have you adopt three more dogs, so I might not be the best person to ask.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. “That’s true. So, I might need a puppy before the morning.” She turns her whole body toward me. “I can seriously make that happen. I’ve got one of the cutest puppies down at the shelter right now. I’ll go pick him up for you. Skylar would love him, and I think Herman would too.” She squints one eye before continuing, “Well, he’d learn to love him.” I can’t help but chuckle because after all this time, she’s still the best doggy dealer in Sacramento. “I love you,” I whisper in her ear. “I love you too.” She leans over and kisses me, grabbing my bottom lip into hers. It’s so hard for me to control myself. Though Skylar’s here, I don’t want Kayla to leave tonight, not on Christmas Eve, not ever. “Stay with me tonight.” I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles.

“But Skylar’s here, and it’s our unspoken rule.” “But it’s also Christmas Eve,” I add. “And I want to wake up with you on your birthday.” I flash a charming smirk, knowing she won’t be able to deny me then. She laughs. “So that makes it different?” Tucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I give her my best puppy dog eyes I know she can’t resist. “Yes, and I want you here tonight to help me eat all those damn sugar cookies. In the morning, I’ll need help placing all the reindeer poop. Won’t you be Santa’s helper?” I bat my eyes at her like a little kid begging for more dessert. Kayla moves closer to me, almost to the point of her body being on top of mine. “Santa needs a helper, huh?” I swallow hard, knowing I can’t resist her because she makes me so damn weak. “Only if you’re Santa’s helper.” Before we lose ourselves in each other’s lips, Kayla stands. “I have a puppy to pick up,” she says with a smile. “Be right back, Santa.” Within thirty minutes, Kayla comes back with a cute lab-retriever mix puppy. Herman immediately notices and they start sniffing each other. She pulls a big red bow from behind her back. “She doesn’t have a name yet, but I’m sure Skylar will have no issues giving her a name.” “It’s a girl?” I ask. “Yep. Figured this house needed to get evened out.” She grins. “We can put the bow around her collar in the morning.” Before long, the puppy is sleeping in front of the fireplace where Herman was lying while Herman stares at her. If dogs could talk, I imagine Herman cursing her out right about now. “I’m not sure if he’s happy about this.” I look over at Herman, who seems agitated. Kayla sits next to me and yawns. “It’s going to take him a little while, but I think they’ll be the best of friends.” She yawns again, but she’s smiling. “Are you ready to eat these cookies? It’s one of my favorite recipes.” “As long as I’m eating them on top of you.” I wink. “You’re like a dirty old man.” She chuckles, shaking her head at me. “I can’t help it. You and cookies are my weakness.” I grin, taking a bite of the cookie and groaning as it nearly melts in my mouth. “It’s even better with milk.” She takes a big gulp then hands me the glass. Somehow the two of us finish off all the cookies except for two and take bites out of them for posterity sake. Once we’re full of sugar and milk, I take Kayla by the hand and lead her to my room. She grabs the puppy and brings her with us, along with a couple extra blankets. We’ll have to do some shopping and get her a bed.

“So, there’s been something that’s been weighing on my mind, and I haven’t really found a good time to bring it up, so I’m just going to bring it up now,” Kayla says as we climb into bed. Her words make me nervous, but I nod to encourage her to say whatever it is she needs to say. “You can tell me anything,” I remind her. “It’s about Abby and the adoption.” She sucks in her bottom lip nervously. “Okay.” We’ve discussed this already, and although it was after she’d lost her memory, I hadn’t wanted to bring it up. “I feel like I owe you an explanation as to why I didn’t tell you sooner. I hate that you had to find out the way you did and even worse that you found out I never told you.” “Kayla, you don’t have to—” “I want to,” she cuts me off. “I was young and had already been through so much. I remember it all so clearly, yet it feels like it was all a blur. It was at a time in my life where I felt completely defeated that I didn’t care about any consequences, and as I got older, I blocked it out for years.” She pauses, readjusting herself in the bed, and I can tell this is hard for her to talk about again. I grab her hand and squeeze it in mine. “I grew up having this fear that any guy I would end up wouldn’t be able to accept all my flaws and past, that it would be too much, so I never told anyone. Figured being a foster child was enough to burden anyone with, considering the stigmas and emotional distress. The closer we became, the more nervous I was about losing you. I knew your heart, and I knew you would never judge me, but I couldn’t stop that fear of what if this is the one thing on top of everything else that makes it too much to handle? I didn’t have a baby, but I lied. The guilt of it all still eats away at me sometimes, which is why I’ve always tried to block it out.” “Why would you feel guilty?” I look at her with soft eyes. “I feel guilty because I never found out what happened to the baby. If she ever got adopted or ended up in foster home like me. Sometimes I think back to those moments, and I wonder if I would’ve encouraged Abby to take responsibility, what would’ve happened? Would she have been kicked out like she predicted or would she have been able to raise her baby after all? It became too much to think about, so I blocked it out completely.” She lets out a sigh. “I can understand that, totally. You don’t have to explain anything to me, sweetheart. You were a child yourself, and you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. You were put into a bad situation and had to make a choice. I don’t think there could’ve been a wrong or right answer.” I pull her into my arms. “Sometimes I’d think about what if I claimed the baby and kept her? I would’ve been kicked out regardless, but at least we would’ve had each other. You know?” she says into my chest.

“She wasn’t your responsibility to worry about, which I know is hard for you to hear. You take on everyone’s burdens as it is, and it’s one of the many things I love about you. You’re so compassionate and caring, and you go out of your way to do many generous things for people, but you have to forgive yourself. Give yourself permission to accept the things you cannot change.” I smile, quoting something my mother used to tell me as a child. “Thank you.” She presses a soft kiss on my lips. “I don’t know how you do it, but you always know just what to say.” “It’s one of my better qualities.” I smirk, leaning down to kiss her. “Maybe closure would help.” “Closure? How?” “Well, you are listed as the birth mother, aren’t you?” “Yes.” “Perhaps we could do some digging. Find some information.” “I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe? I wouldn’t want to disrupt anything, but maybe just find out enough information to know she’s doing okay.” “Good thing you’re sleeping with a detective.” I wink, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see what I can do.” “Thank you,” she says again, making my heart swell. “Anything for you, Angel. Anything, ever.” By the time my phone buzzes me awake, it’s four in the morning. I set my alarm so I’d have time to place Skylar’s presents under the tree and get everything else ready before she wakes up. Kayla rustles, but I kiss her on the forehead and she settles back under the sheets. The puppy doesn’t even notice or care. I slip out of bed and grab the bag of gifts I hid in my closet and hurry to set them under the tree along with the ones I’m surprising Kayla with, which I’m both excited and nervous about. I’ve never had to set gifts out under a tree before, so I take much longer than I care to admit, but I want it just perfect for Skylar. Afterward, I bundle up and head outside where I place fake reindeer tracks and poop on the icy grass. It ends up taking me almost an hour to get everything set perfectly. When I crawl back in bed, I see the puppy is happily snuggled next to Kayla who jumps when she feels my cool skin against hers. “Morning,” I whisper. “Happy Birthday, baby.” “Mm…” she moans. “Thank you.” “Do you want your birthday present now?” I slide my hand in between her legs. “Or later.”

She giggles, then pushes me away. “Your hands are too cold,” she complains. “I know. Want to keep them warm?” I tease, inching closer to her. “Okay, do what you gotta do, just don’t wake me,” she taunts with a sly smile, keeping her eyes closed as she nuzzles deeper into my body. We don’t get to sleep long before Skylar is barging through the door and shouting. “Santa came! Daddy! Santa came!” I blink my eyes open, not feeling like I slept at all, but once I see her bright smile, it doesn’t matter. Kayla stays hunched down under the covers with the puppy so Skylar doesn’t see just yet. Jumping out of bed, I follow her to the living room. “Look, Daddy!” She’s so damn happy that she can barely contain herself. She’s bouncing on her tiptoes as she takes inventory of everything under the tree. “Wow, baby.” I beam. “You must’ve been a really good girl this year,” I tell her with a grin. Before we start opening gifts, I walk to the kitchen and start the coffee maker. I have a feeling we’re going to need it. Just as I walk back into the living room, I see Kayla walking out with the puppy with a big red bow tied around her collar. Skylar glances over, and once she realizes what Kayla’s holding, she starts screaming. “Oh, my goodness!” she cries. “A puppy!” I watch as her eyes widen and her smile stretches up to her eyes. “I knew Santa wouldn’t let me down. Now I just need a baby sister,” she whispers to herself, but we overhear her. Kayla looks over at me and winks. Kayla kneels in front of Skylar and sets the puppy down. “What do you think we should name her?” Kayla asks, prompting Skylar to think about it. “I don’t know…” Skylar is laughing and smiling and I think she’s just so overwhelmed, she doesn’t know what to think. “What about…Princess?” Kayla looks up at me with a knowing smirk. I chuckle and shake my head. My girls are alike more than I realized. “I think that’s perfect,” I tell her. “It is!” Kayla agrees. Princess runs and jumps all over Skylar, pushing her to the floor and licking her face as she giggles and squeals. “I think Princess likes you,” Kayla says. She’s looking at them both like a proud mama. “I think so, too,” Skylar agrees, still laughing. “Are you ready to open the rest of your presents?” I ask, before walking toward the kitchen and pouring two cups of coffee. I walk them back to the living room and see Kayla pulling out all the gifts with Skylar’s name on them.

“I got the best gift ever!” She hugs Princess to her chest. “Herman, I got you a little friend,” she tells him, although he sits and stares unamused. Hopefully he gets used to her soon. “Oh, let’s go look outside and see if the reindeer food—” Kayla suggests, and Skylar is up on her feet running to the front door before Kayla even finishes her sentence. “Daddy!” Skylar yells from the steps. “Come look! The reindeer left tracks and…” She instantly starts giggling. “Poop.” She then runs right past us and into the kitchen where we set out the cookies and milk. “Santa almost ate all the cookies!” She’s using the counter as leverage as she excitedly jumps up and down. I follow Kayla into the kitchen with Herman and Princess at our feet. “I guess he liked our special cookie recipe after all.” Kayla and Skylar both smile, and I feel the magic of Christmas in the air. For the next half hour, Skylar dives into her presents and starts ripping the wrapping paper off all her gifts. The smile on her face sends me into emotional overdrive. I love seeing how happy and excited she is, and everything we did in preparation for this day makes it all worth it. These new traditions and memories will last a lifetime. Especially more now than ever. After Skylar finishes opening all her gifts, and I cook us all breakfast, I get a text from Maggie that she’s ready for her. “I’m going to stay here if that’s okay,” Kayla says when I tell her what the plan is. “Yeah, babe. That’s fine. Shouldn’t take me very long.” Though Skylar wants to play with all her new toys and puppy, I can tell she’s exhausted. After Skylar gets dressed, she decides she’s not going. “But Daddy, I don’t want to go yet,” Skylar says as we’re walking out, glancing back at Princess and Kayla in the doorway. “Your mom wants to see you on Christmas, too, baby. You’ll get to come back over real soon, okay? I promise.” She throws one of her little temper tantrums, and I know it’s because she’s overtired. Waking up before the sunrise has taken a toll on her. I try to ignore it, given the circumstances, but she stomps all the way to the car swinging her arms hard just so I know she’s unhappy. By the time I pull up to Maggie’s, she’s fallen asleep and I carry her inside. Under the Christmas tree are piles of presents; the same way it was at my house. It’s official, this kid is spoiled. Maggie opens the door and I smile as I walk in with Skylar in my arms. As I lay her down on the couch, she begins to wake up. “Look, sweetie. Santa visited here, too.”

She sits up, rubbing one eye. “Didn’t he know I was at your house? Maybe this is some other kids presents.” She looks at me with concern. “Santa always knows where you are. He probably split your presents between both of your homes because he knows you live at both places,” I explain to her. Maggie sits next to Skylar and squeezes her. “Merry Christmas, baby. Go open them up!” she encourages. I look at Maggie and can see she’s exhausted from her long shift. She works hard and long hours to give her moments like these, and I can’t deny that she’s a great mother to Skylar. I kiss Skylar goodbye and wave to Maggie before heading out. Today’s been special so far and the best is yet to come. As I think about Kayla and how we’re spending Christmas and her birthday together for the first time, I can’t help smiling wide at how happy she makes me. Truly the luckiest man alive. Today’s going to be a day neither of us will ever forget. As soon as I walk back inside the house, I see her on the couch with Princess on her lap and Herman lying next to her, neither getting up or barking when they hear me enter. “Well if this isn’t the best thing to come home to.” I wink. “If I was single, I’d be the crazy dog lady, wouldn’t I?” “Oh, most definitely,” I tease, kicking off my shoes. “Hold on. I have to grab something,” I tell her as I walk to the bedroom. I dig around in one of my drawers and pull out a box before heading back to the living room. Herman jumps off before I take a seat next to her. “I have something for you.” Pulling the present from behind my back that’s wrapped in bright pink birthday paper, I hand it to her with a smile. “Logan!” Her eyes go wide. “You didn’t have to do this.” I flash her a look that reads get real and remember I have one more surprise in the kitchen for her. “Just wait. One more second.” I jump off the couch and hurry to grab it from the cupboard. I return with a blueberry muffin—thanks to Courtney—with a single candle lit on top. Walking back to the living room, I cover one hand around it to prevent the flame from going out. As I sit down next to her, I remove my hand and watch as her eyes widen in surprise. “Wh—” “You’re never too old to make a wish on your birthday,” I tell her with a wink and nod down to the candle. She looks up at the ceiling with a small smile on her face before closing her eyes and blowing out the candle. When her eyes flutter open, I can see tears forming on the brims. “Angel, please don’t cry,” I beg, reaching a finger out to wipe under her eye.

“I’m sorry.” She sniffs. “That’s the first time in twenty-six years I’ve blown out a candle for my birthday.” She swallows hard, and I set the muffin down on the coffee table before pulling her into my arms. “You deserve everything and more on your birthday,” I tell her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “This is the first of many birthdays for you now.” She shakes her head in disbelief, but smiles. “Thank you,” she barely mouths before emotion takes over once again. “Don’t get sappy on me just yet. You haven’t even opened your gift.” I reach for the box next to me and hand it to her. “Happy Birthday, Angel,” I say, moving closer. Her hands shake as she rips the paper off and opens the box. She then digs through some tissue paper until she finds a silver key and a realtor business card. “What’s this?” She looks up at me confused, and I smile big. “It’s a key to my house,” I explain. “I want you to move in with me. With us.” “Really?” she exclaims, holding the key tight in her palm as she wraps her arms around my neck. “But then what’s this?” She flashes the business card. “Well, okay. It’s a two-part birthday present actually,” I say with a smirk. “The key is for the house for now, but it’s not going to be big enough for all of us, especially if we keep growing by four paws every few months.” She chuckles and nods. “The business card is the realtor I’ve hired. I want us to sell our houses and buy one. Together.” “Really?” she shrieks loudly. “I don’t want to wait to have you in my bed every night and wake up to you every morning, so until we find the perfect house, I want you here.” “Oh my God. Logan.” “Is that a yes?” She nods but doesn’t say anything because her throat is tightening up. I pull her back into my arms and kiss the hell out of her. “You’re really serious?” she asks as if she needs more confirmation. I laugh and nod. “Absolutely. Pack up the fellas and we’ll all squeeze in here for now. Will probably be easiest if we try and sell your house first and then we can start looking for a bigger one. Once our offer gets accepted, we’ll put mine on the market. That way we can take our time finding just the right one.” “I can’t believe it.” My heart begins to beat faster, knowing what I still have planned for her. “I’m never letting you go again, Angel. Never.”

“Now I’m worried my gift to you won’t even compare to this,” she teases. “You already gave me my gift, baby. I don’t need anything else.” I hold her tighter. “Well, I want you to have it anyway.” She smirks. She reaches for her purse on the coffee table and pulls out a flat box wrapped in green and red wrapping paper. Once I rip it off, I find an envelope inside. “If you got me the same thing, I’m going to freak.” She nudges me with her elbow, and I laugh. “Shut up and open it.” Ripping the envelope open, I see two plane tickets with a brochure. “A trip to the Bahamas?” I ask, shocked. “Yep. Ten days of sweet paradise on the beach. What do you think?” Her face is all lit up and the cutest fucking thing ever. “I am stoked! Brantley is going to love it,” I quip, bursting out laughing before I can even stick to my joke. “I always knew you’d prefer him in a bikini than me.” “Well, that’s true. I’d much prefer to see you naked instead.” She rolls her eyes, and I laugh again. Wrapping my hand around her neck, I pull her mouth to mine and whisper, “Thank you.” “You’re welcome,” she whispers back. “You work so much and barely take any vacation, so you deserve it. And I thought we could get away, just you and me.” “I’d go anywhere with you, baby.” I kiss her again. “But honestly, I don’t think we’re ever going to leave our room.” “I won’t complain.” She laughs against my lips before kissing me. “We’ll be able to view the beach from the bed.” “I’d love that.” I set the tickets back inside the envelope so I don’t lose them. I honestly can’t wait, but now that it’s time to give her my Christmas gift, I’m shaking with nerves again. “I have one more thing for you…” “Logan,” she complains. “It’s your Christmas gift,” I explain. “Just because it happens to land on your birthday doesn’t mean I can’t give you one.” She sighs and happily accepts my explanation. “You have to go find it though,” I tell her, nodding my head in the direction of the tree. She gives me a wary look but stands to go search for it anyway. Princess stays sleeping on the couch as Herman sniffs her.

I watch Kayla as she looks under and around the tree, but there’s nothing there. Tilting her head back at me, she looks flustered. “Check that ornament right there.” I point to the one directly in the middle that opens. As soon as she turns to reach for it, I get down on one knee. She finally finds the ornament and figures out there’s something inside. “Logan…” She spins around, her fingers gripping a black velvet box. “Oh my God!” she screams when she sees me kneeling. I reach for her hand and hold it in mine; my palms are sweating as I look up into her watery eyes. “Since the first day I met you, you had my heart, even when I didn’t want to admit it at first. After our kiss in the coffee shop, I knew there was no way I could live without you. Kayla, you’re my everything. I don’t want to go another day where you aren’t my wife. I love you so goddamn much, Angel.” I pause, reaching for the box in her shaky hand. Smiling, I retrieve the diamond ring and hold it between my fingers as I continue. “Kayla Adele Sinclair, will you make me the happiest fucking man in the world and marry me?” “Oh my God!” she screams again, her free hand covering her mouth as tears fall down her cheeks. “Is that a yes?” My brow arches. She nods frantically and finally manages to speak. “Yes! Yes!” I slide the ring on her finger and kiss the top of her hand. “Fits so perfectly.” She examines it and continues crying. I pull her body to mine, her arms fly around my neck, and I fall backward on the floor with her on top of me, kissing me. “I can’t believe this,” she whispers against my mouth. Our legs tangle together as we kiss on the floor. “I love you so much.” “Me neither. Never in a million years did I think I’d have someone as amazing as you in my life.” I brush loose strands of her hair from her face and look at her with so much love, I think my heart might burst. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Logan Knight,” she admits with a bright smile, holding out her hand and admiring the diamond I bought even before the accident. “It’s just the beginning, Angel. It wasn’t easy to get here, but it was so fucking worth it.” “We wrote our own story, Detective,” she says, wrapping her arms back around my neck. “No matter how crazy it was.” “An epic and beautiful story,” I add. “As long as it ends with you naked,” she teases, rubbing her body against mine and letting me know exactly what she’s after. “I think I can arrange that.” Forever and ever.

EPILOGUE KAYLA “There is nothing more beautiful than seeing my gorgeous wife with a little round belly,” Logan tells me against my neck as he wraps his arms around my ginormous waist and holds me to his chest. “Is she kicking today?” “Never stops.” I chuckle, placing my hand over his as he rubs my stomach. “She’s anxious, too,” he says, trying to calm my nerves, knowing how nervous I am. How nervous we both are. “I can’t believe the day is finally here,” I tell him as we stand in the middle of the baby’s nursery, waiting for her arrival. “And that it took so long.” “Whatever they tell us, just remember I’m here for you and love you.” I pull him tighter against me and close my eyes as I feel his lips press against my temple. “I know. Thank you.” I wouldn’t have been able to get through all of this without him. He’s been my support system these last couple years. We’ve been through so much together. Finding our dream house, getting married, finding out we were pregnant. Skylar’s so excited to become a big sister; it’s all she talks about considering she’s wanted this for so long. When we found out, we were a little surprised, mostly because we weren’t really trying, but nevertheless, we’re excited. Living in a house with five dogs was just what I imagined it’d be. Lots of snuggles and love, but also lots of destruction. We managed to find a house with a huge fenced-in yard, but I miss that Donny’s isn’t walking distance anymore. However, we make it a point to go visit every couple of weeks. The dogs love going for car rides because they know it means they’re getting their donuts. Logan checks his watch and tells me we should start heading out if we don’t want to hit rush hour traffic. “Okay.” He grabs my hand and leads me out of the nursery. Only a few more weeks until our little miracle arrives, so I’m already an emotional wreck. The drive to San Francisco is a quiet one, but Logan keeps his hand in mine, silently letting me know I have all his support. Today’s a day I’ve been thinking about for a long time, more in recent months though since I’ve confided in Logan the truth about Abby and the baby. He kept his promise to me and searched for answers about the baby, locating the adoption center where the paperwork was filed. It wasn’t easy though, considering I don’t remember much about the social worker or the agency, and I was pretty certain it was a closed adoption. That was the biggest obstacle, I suspected. The most nervous I’ve felt in

a long time was when I finally received that phone call stating we’d be allowed to come for a meeting. Not much has been discussed since then. I don’t want to disrupt any part of her life. I just want to know what became of her. If she’s stuck in foster care, I want to change that, or if she’s living with a nice family and was adopted, I have to know. I won’t be able to settle the guilt in my heart until I do. “We’re here,” Logan whispers, squeezing my hand. I’d dozed off for a few minutes and hadn’t realized we were so close. My eyes fly open, and I direct them immediately to Logan who’s unbuckling me. “You ready?” Swallowing, I nod. “Yeah. I’m ready.” He leads me inside, and once we sign in to meet with one of the counselors, they direct us down a long hallway and into an office. “Thank you,” Logan tells the woman. She purses her lips, and I can just imagine the scenarios she’s come up with in her head. After what feels like an hour, another woman finally comes in. “Hello. So sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. and Mrs. Knight.” We shake her hand before she settles behind the desk. “No worries,” I finally speak up, sitting up straighter in my chair. I realize she’s holding a file in her other hand and my heart speeds back up. “So, my colleague has informed me of your situation, although it has me a bit perplexed.” I look over at Logan and panic starts to rise in my throat. She continues before I can ask any questions. “You were a minor when you gave up your rights, is that correct?” “Yes, ma’am.” “And your guardians were Mr. and Mrs. Swift. Is that right?” “Yes. At the time. I was transferred out of their house shortly after the adoption.” Clearing her throat, I watch as her eyes scan the documents inside the file. “Since you were a minor, you needed a guardian to sign off on the adoption.” “Right.” I already knew that. “They never did,” she explains. “It must’ve slipped through somehow.” I furrow my brows, leaning forward now. “What do you mean?” “The paperwork was written up and filed, but there was never a signature.” “How can that be?”

“Honestly, a lot of mistakes happen with foster care documents, especially if the adoption or transfer is sudden. It could’ve been a new social worker on duty or any number of variables. Given the story you told me, your foster parents hadn’t even known you were pregnant at the time.” Inhaling a deep breath, I nod. “That’s right.” “From what the paperwork states, the baby was less than a day old when it was transferred into the state’s custody.” “She,” I correct. “And yes. It was the same day I gave birth,” I say without wavering. “My foster parents called the social worker to come take her.” I hear her suck in a deep breath as she blinks down at the paperwork that’s obviously a mess. “So, what does this all mean?” Logan speaks up, knowing I’m getting more anxious. “Legally, it means without the signature, Mrs. Knight can know the details of the child. It was meant to be a closed adoption, but now she’d have the grounds to fight for custody if that was her wish.” I swallow. My throat feels insanely dry, and my heart is pounding hard in my chest. “Was she ever adopted?” I blurt out before Logan can respond. “Or did she get stuck in the system?” “She did get adopted.” She smiles proudly. “Six days after birth actually.” “Oh my God,” I murmur, relief soaring through me. “That makes me really happy.” “It was a very sweet couple from Seattle who’d been trying to have children for eight years.” Tears begin falling down my cheeks, and even though I’m already hormonal, the emotions rip through me like a ton of bricks. I’m so fucking happy. All I can do is nod at the woman. “The father is a Marine Biologist and the mother is a teacher, but she took some time off to be a stay-at-home mom.” “That’s amazing to hear,” Logan tells the woman since he knows I’m getting too choked up to speak. “Really amazing,” I add, gripping Logan’s hand tighter. “Do you want to know her name?” she asks with a grin. I look at Logan and he raises his brows, telling me he’s leaving that option up to me. “Yes. Please.” I nod finally. “They named her Jane Adele Monroe.” “They gave her my middle name,” I repeat for the hundredth time since we arrived back home a week ago. “I still can’t believe it.” I shift on the couch once again, finding it nearly

impossible to get comfortable. “Your middle name is Adele?” Courtney asks from the chair across from us, her cheeks pink and swollen. “Yes.” I chuckle, narrowing my eyes at her because after more than five years of friendship, she should know that by now, but she’s been more forgetful lately. “Well, they thought they were giving her a tribute to her biological mother,” Logan explains, again. “It’s sweet actually. Don’t you think?” “Yeah, I just feel it’s unwarranted. Jane should know the truth. Abby is her biological mother, not me.” “You might not have given birth to Jane, but you’re the reason why she was adopted into a deserving family and is probably surrounded by lots of love.” I smile at my amazing husband who always knows the right things to say. Knowing she’s not growing up in the foster care system is a huge weight off my chest. “Can you believe she’s twelve now?” I shift again, my back becoming stiff. “All those preteen hormones,” Courtney adds, lifting her feet up on the ottoman. I snort. Ever since she got pregnant, her filter has become even more nonexistent. “Well, prepare yourself, Court. You’re about to have three of those little humans who will grow up to be teenagers. Skylar’s eight turning eighteen.” I smile in her direction, so damn happy for her and Drew who had been trying for so long to get pregnant. They eventually tried IVF and were super lucky when she ended up pregnant during the first round. Lucky times three that is. “And when that time comes, I plan to pawn one to you, one to Viola and Travis, and the other Drew will take to the PD with him.” I snort, laughing at her immediate response as if she’s already thought this through. Knowing how much Courtney and Drew have wanted this makes me think about the little family Logan and I have. I love being in Skylar’s life. It’s been an eye-opening experience for sure, especially since we’re sharing joint custody with Maggie and her husband. But I fear those teenage years aren’t too far away. Logan asks if we need anything when he stands up. Courtney’s been staying here for a couple days while Drew is out of town, and since she’s presumed to go into labor early, Drew wanted to make sure she wasn’t alone. “I’ll take a root beer float, please,” Courtney says, rubbing her hands over her belly. “Babies are craving the ice cream.” Logan shoots me a look and holds back laughter. Courtney’s cravings are out of control, but he knows better than to say anything about it in front of her. “Sure thing, Court. Anything for you, baby?” he asks as he starts walking toward the kitchen.

I lean forward, pressing a hand to my lower back and rubbing it. Another jolt zips up my spine, making me temporarily paralyzed by the pain. “Kayla?” Logan says when I don’t answer him. He turns around and sees me wince. “What’s wrong?” He rushes over and kneels in front of me. “What happened?” “I’m just getting these weird pains in my back. Like someone is electrocuting me, and then there’s a dull cramp that comes after it shocks me.” “What does that mean? Has that happened before?” “Not really. I’ve been having some back stiffness, but nothing like this.” “Could be back labor,” Courtney suggests from behind Logan. “It’s probably false labor,” I say, gritting my teeth through another spike of pain. “That’s it. I’m taking you to the hospital.” He grabs my hand and pulls me up. “No, no. Braxton-Hicks can happen for weeks.” “Stop being stubborn, Kay. Go and get checked out. I can hold down the fort,” she says just as all seventy pounds of Princess jumps on the ottoman, begging for her attention. Even though Courtney’s not due for another three months, I worry about leaving her too. “Are you sure? You’re not supposed to be alone,” I remind her. She rolls her eyes and sighs. “I’ll call Viola and have her come babysit me if that’ll make you feel better, Mom. I’m sure the King minions will keep me and the dogs plenty of company until you return.” “Yes,” I scorn, letting Logan lead me to the door. I slip my flip-flops on and wait for him as he runs upstairs and grabs the hospital bag. I’ve had it packed for the last three weeks. “All right. Let’s go!” “Good luck! Call me with an update!” Courtney shouts as we make our way outside. “Ah! Shit!” I press a hand to my back again, that one stronger than the other. “I think we’re going to have a baby,” Logan says, half freaking out, half excited. “Let’s go, Angel.” There’s no question about being in labor once we arrive to the hospital. My water breaks before I can get changed into a gown and nine hours later, our perfect little daughter arrives. “You’re so amazing,” Logan whispers, kissing the top of my head as I hold the baby to my chest. She’s swaddled in a blanket and sleeping peacefully in my arms. “I can’t believe we have a baby,” I whisper, unable to keep my eyes off her. “She looks so much like Skylar.” “She does, but she definitely has your dark hair.” “And your wrinkly nose.”

We both chuckle softly, not wanting to wake her. She came out screaming after four pushes, and once Logan cut the umbilical cord, they cleaned her up and bundled her. Watching him hold her for the first time brought tears to my eyes. I’m super hormonal already, but this was an entirely new wave of emotions. She fell asleep as soon as she was in her daddy’s arms, and I melted all over again. The way he gazed down at her made my heart completely full for the first time in my life. “So, I was thinking about her name…” I begin. “I know we picked one out already, but I was thinking about…” I linger, getting choked up. “What?” Logan prompts. “I was thinking what if we named her Abigail Jane instead,” I manage to say. “For Abby and Jane.” His thumb softly rubs across her forehead and then trails down to her little chubby cheek. “I think that’s perfect. Beautiful actually.”

COMING NEXT TAMING HIM A Bishop Brothers Novel Coming Early 2018

Alex Bishop is your typical cowboy. Charming, sexy, and wears a panty-melting smirk. Working on the ranch helped build his solid eight-pack and smoking body. He’s every girl’s wet fantasy and he knows it too. Alex doesn’t follow the rules of your typical playboy bachelor. After wining and dining his dates and giving them the best night of their lives, he always sends flowers and calls the next day—even if it’s to say, let’s just be friends. His mama taught him manners after all and his southern blood knows how to be a gentleman. Still, that isn’t enough to tame the wildest of the Bishop brothers. River Lancaster has finally met the man of her dreams. Too bad after six months of romantic bliss, she finds out he’s married. With a broken heart and blind rage, she books herself a ticket to Key West, Florida. Tired of cheaters and liars, she’s set on escaping to forget he ever existed. Who needs a man when there’s an all-you-can-drink margarita bar, anyway? That’s what she tells herself until she bumps into the right guy who can make all those bad memories disappear. Even if it’s only temporarily. Two weeks on the beach is what they both need. No strings attached, no expectations, no broken hearts. Too bad the universe has other plans—one that’ll change the entire course of their lives in just nine short months. **A standalone contemporary romance with a little southern drama**

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Brooke Cumberland and Lyra Parish are a duo of romance authors who teamed up under the USA Today pseudonym, Kennedy Fox. They share a love of You’ve Got Mail and The Holiday. When they aren’t bonding over romantic comedies, they like to brainstorm new book ideas. One day, they decided to collaborate under a pseudonym and have some fun creating new characters that’ll make your lady bits tingle and your heart melt. If you enjoy romance stories with sexy, tattooed alpha males and smart, quirky, independent women, then a Kennedy Fox book is for you! They’re looking forward to bringing you many more stories to fall in love with!

Places to find us: Instagram.com/kennedyfoxbooks | @kennedyfoxbooks Twitter @kennedyfoxbooks Facebook.com/kennedyfoxbooks http://www.kennedyfoxbooks.com Reader Group | Checkmate Kingdom [email protected]

BOOKS BY KENNEDY FOX AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS DUET | TRAVIS & VIOLA CHECKMATE: THIS IS WAR CHECKMATE: THIS IS LOVE A FRIENDS TO LOVERS DUET | DREW & COURTNEY CHECKMATE: THIS IS RECKLESS CHECKMATE: THIS IS EFFORTLESS A SECOND-CHANCE ROMANCE | LOGAN & KAYLA CHECKMATE: THIS IS DANGEROUS CHECKMATE: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL COMING IN 2018 THE BISHOP BROTHERS STANDALONE NOVELS * * *

FIND BROOKE’S BOOKS HERE FIND LYRA’S BOOKS HERE

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS We can’t believe this is the final book! What an experience and journey it’s been! What a year! The Checkmate Duet Series could’ve never been what it’s become without each one of our amazing readers. We’re so thankful for the bloggers and bookstagrammers who have fallen in love with our characters and have chosen to spread the excitement! This journey became much more than we ever anticipated and we can’t tell you how grateful we are to be in this community. When we started writing This is War over a year ago, who would’ve guessed six books later and we’d be here? Our InstaFam is a huge part of our support system and getting to work with some of the best of the best is something we never take for granted. Thank you to our InstaFam for always having our backs and loving #TeamTraviola, #TeamDrewtney, & #TeamLayla! Thank you Sara Eirew, Mitzi Carroll, Viriginia Tesi Carey for working with us on this series! It’s always a delight to work with each of you! Thank you to our families for putting up with our crazy and hectic schedules and always making sure there’s coffee in the house. Thank you to our loyal and amazing readers! Don’t be sad the series is ending…we have a lot more amazing couples to introduce you to!! Until next time, K & F