(Drug of Desire 2)Entrusted - Sidney Bristol

Entrusted A Drug of Desire Novel

Sidney Bristol

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Entrusted A Drug of Desire Novel A lifetime spent working undercover for the DEA has left Matías Govea wondering, just who the hell he is? A BDSM Dominant? A son? A brother? Who is he? He'll have to assume one, last identity before he can figure out the answers, but this might be the hardest gig of all...because of her. Raven Benally grew up in the cockpit of a plane under the watchful eye of her father and uncles. Only now the family is fractured and it's up to her to pull off one more gig before she can branch out on her own. All she has to do is fly the smoking hot federal officer to Mexico and back. When a simple buy-bust goes south, it's up to Matías to pull off the biggest deception ever. He must not only convince a notorious Colombian drug dealer he's not a fed, but he must also pass Raven off as a sexual submissive and his lover. In the far flung reaches of the jungle, these friends-turned-lovers have only each other to rely on. Warning: Contains a man fond of belts, a woman who didn't know she likes to be spanked, and a complicated web of emotions.



DEDICATION This one is for the fans. The people who have stuck with me, patiently waiting for this book. Matías is your hero. And you are mine.

― SIDNEY





P RO LO GU E



Matías Govea stared out of the window at the twinkling cityscape of Washington DC. He’d already made arrangements to put the condo on the market in a few weeks. Sad to say, there wasn’t much to pack. He felt, more than heard, the other person move into the room behind him. If it were any other human being, Matías might have already shot him. But fellow DEA agent Damien Moana was an all right guy. “Man, we have to have a talk about your kitchen. There’s nothing in there to eat.” He dropped onto the sofa, watching Matías study him in the reflection on the glass. “How long has it been since you slept?” “Last night.” “More than an hour or two?” Damien’s stare weighed heavily on Matías, seeing deeper than he would like. Truth was, Matías hadn’t been able to sleep more than an hour or two without startling awake. Almost dying would do that to a man. Nearly six months, and though the scars had healed, and he was cleared for field work, he wasn’t whole. “You really going through with this?” Damien clearly wasn’t talking about Matías’ sleep issues. “Yeah.” He finally turned from the window. “I haven’t seen my mother in over two years. I can’t tell you the last time I spoke to my brothers. I nearly died in Chicago, and they wouldn’t have known. It changes a man.” There was no going back to the Drug Enforcement Agency for him. “Then why not quit? Just be done with it now. Today.” Damien and Matías were both agents, but unlike Damien, Matías was a deep-cover operative. He spent months of his life pretending to be the scum of the earth so they could get the bad guys in jail, but work like that left its mark. He sighed and scrubbed his gritty eyes. Where did he begin? Matías sank onto the couch and stared at the ceiling, sifting through his thoughts. “I’ve been working this case for years. Guy’s name is Victor. No last name. Real piece of work. Moves probably five or six billion dollars of narcotics every year for the Jiménez family. The suits asked if I’d stay on long enough to do a buy bust to grab him. I can’t say no to that. Reason we haven’t busted his ass is because we kept thinking he’d lead us to the factory.” He shook his head. Victor was a sneaky, slimy son of a bitch. It would be a privilege to arrest the guy. “Then what?” Damien asked. “No clue. Go home? Travel?” Matías could have a life. He hadn’t had one of those in a very long time. “Lillian’s seeing someone.” “Huh?” Matías peered at Damien, trying to place the name.

“Shit.” Damien shook his head. “That girl was in love with you, man.” Lillian. Matías stared across the room, trying not to shudder at the memories. She was a sweet, beautiful girl, who desperately wanted to help heal him. She’d tried so hard to put him back together into the man she wanted him to be—and he couldn’t be that person. “I told her from the beginning we were just play partners.” Matías had never wanted to lead her on. He’d done his best to be honest with her, but she’d wanted to fit a square peg in a round hole. “I know man, I just thought you would want to know she’s not waiting around for you anymore.” “Good. She shouldn’t.” “That’s cold. Real cold.” Matías couldn’t disagree. But he wasn’t the man Lillian wanted him to be. Maybe he should have left sooner, or tried to be gentler about ending it, but he hadn’t been able to. Besides, work had come calling. “You doing this job alone?” Damien asked. “Yeah. Sort of. I’ll have my pilot.” “Uh, ho…” “What?” Matías frowned at the dark-skinned man perched on the other end of the sofa. “For a minute there, I almost thought you smiled.” “Fuck you.” Damien grinned, shrugging the words off. “I’m ready to get out is all.” Matías tightened down on his scowl. Raven Benally. His pilot’s granddaughter. She was sunshine and warm breezes. Nothing ever seemed to keep her down, which was half his fascination with the woman. Matías wouldn’t step over the bounds of professional friendship with her, but damn, she made a man want to. Except, after this job, he’d never see her again. It was probably for the best. A man with his tastes needed a certain kind of woman. One who liked leather and chains, not fluffy clouds and puppies.



CH A P TER O N E

Two months later…

It was the beginning of the end. Where is she? Matías Govea stalked toward the silver cargo plane sitting on the New Mexico tarmac. He glanced toward the hanger every couple of steps. The only bright spot of this whole trip was missing. One more job, one more identity, and he was a free man. Nearly twenty years as an undercover agent across three agencies had taken its toll, and he couldn’t quite remember who Matías was anymore. In a way, that name felt like yet another alias. Some person he pretended to be, and not the real man inside. His cover identity was a much easier act to figure out. José Gonzalez was a thirty-six-year-old Mexican national who bought and sold narcotics from the suppliers in South America to dealers in America. José liked tequila, gambling and had family in Juarez. His rap sheet in America was a mile long, and he had several Mexican and American border officials on the take. In the scheme of things, José was an average middle man. One more job, and he could figure out who Matías really was. He glanced once more at the hanger. He had this stupid idea of seeing Raven again someday, when he was a better, worthier man, but closing the door on this life was probably for the best. His stupid crush on a girl would die with the job. Where the hell was she? Eddie Berlin, his latest handler and professional desk jockey, quick-stepped to keep up with Matías as they strode toward the Cessna Cargomaster. Heat radiated up from the tarmac in disorienting waves, making things in the distance ripple and sweat trickle down his spine. “Your flight plan to Lazaro Cardenas is on the books as Benally Cargo, like always.” For some reason, Eddie was on edge, and it wasn’t helping Matías’ mood. He just wanted it to be over with. “Yes, I know. I meet Victor, make the buy, and go with him to pick up the stuff. The team will sweep in at the port and grab all of us. We’ve been over the plan. It’s not my first buy bust, Eddie.” Matías had had his first at sixteen, working with officials in Texas. It was the start of a career that had changed his life. And not always for the best. This time, they were working in conjunction with port officials and an American cargo ship paying off a favor. “Are you sure we can’t convince you to stay on?” Maybe that was what had Eddie so anxious. He’d been sweating the loss of Matías, but that was his problem, not Matías’. “Sorry, man.” Ever since he’d turned in his resignation after the Chicago job that had nearly ended his life, Eddie

had been up his ass about staying with the DEA. But when Matías couldn’t remember if something was part of a cover identity or his real life, it was time to throw in the towel. Do something else. About the only things he knew about himself were that he had family in El Paso that he kept his distance from, he had a silly crush on a woman he couldn’t have, and that his sexual proclivities ran toward the dark side. Maybe it was his desire to be in control, or something deeper, but when he’d discovered BDSM as part of a job, he hadn’t been able to deny the allure of that world. “Where’s Raven? I’m ready to go.” The plane loomed over them, the wings shielding them from the New Mexican sun. A slim figure filled the plane’s hatch, dark hair streaming around her face as the wind kicked up a gust. She squinted and held her hand up, peering toward them. Her cinnamon skin was baked to a golden hue. She was wearing jeans and a tank-top as usual. Matías could paint her blindfolded. Her facial features were sharp, high cheekbones, a pointed chin and almond-shaped eyes. He could see the Benally family resemblance in the generous mouth and the deep, varied browns of her eyes. A slow, contagious grin spread across Raven’s face and his stupid heart felt as though it were squeezed by a fist. There she was. Raven wasn’t his pilot, but she was a regular fixture at the airstrip. They liked to keep his comings and goings low-key and the people on-shift pared down to just the Benally family. It was safer for everyone that way. He’d spent hours cooped up in the hanger with Raven, playing cards, shooting the bull. There were few better companions for wasting away time. He’d hoped to see her, to properly say his goodbyes before this chapter of his life ended. “Matías.” She vaulted down from the hatch and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him so tight his scars ached. The embrace took him by surprise. He sucked in a deep breath, catching a faint smell of her shampoo and grease, likely from the inner workings of one of her planes. “Hey, little bird.” He turned his face away from Eddie and gave Raven a quick squeeze. Raven had been twenty-two the first time her grandfather, Hokee, had flown Matías out of their dinky, old airstrip in a two-seater plane. The cargo hanger and small fleet of planes were a major upgrade from those times. Matías had glimpsed her life over the years and watched her grow into a confident, capable pilot. “My plane ready to go?” he asked. “Yeah.” Raven stepped back and glanced at Eddie, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Uh-oh. Something was up. Matías glanced at Eddie, who shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Hokee isn’t feeling up to the trip, and Uncle Danny’s doing a hop to Albuquerque. I’m the only pilot licensed to fly the Cessna.” That was Raven. Direct. To the point. “Fuck. No. No way.” This wasn’t good. Memories of a woman who looked nothing like Raven, but who’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time, flashed through his mind. He’d tried to help her, to give her a way out, but the allure of money had kept sucking her back into the drug world. Matías had dug her grave himself. He didn’t want to have to dig another one. Especially not for Raven. His world could never, ever touch her “How hard can it be?” Raven shrugged. “I fly you down there, keep inside the plane and leave. I can do this.” Eddie edged closer. “Matías, it’s a good plan. Raven doesn’t even have to get off the plane. Isn’t that right? After you and the Columbian leave, she’s free to go.” “No.” Matías shook his head. Was this Eddie’s first bust? Was he stupid? “If this plane leaves before

shit goes down, they’ll know something is up.” “So, I sit on the runway for a bit. No big deal,” Raven said. “It’s a big fucking deal. You don’t understand how superstitious Victor can be, or how dangerous this might get. He suspects everyone is trying to double-cross him. Why do you think we haven’t busted his ass already?” Matías glanced from Eddie to Raven. The desert dust stuck in his lungs, making it hard to breathe. Neither got it. They hadn’t sat in a room with Victor. They didn’t know how to calculate a gesture, pick their words or tailor their mood to fit Victor’s needs. They weren’t undercover. He was. It was his life on the line. He pivoted and stalked a few feet away, staring out at the desert. The Benally Cargo airstrip was on the very edge of the Navajo reservation that bordered New Mexico and Mexico. If it weren’t for the reservation’s cooperation with border patrol, their land would be a prime crossing ground for both illegal immigrants and drug smugglers. But they were lucky. People like the Benallys helped them. The DEA used companies like the Benally’s cargo business as fronts for undercover operations. These assets created a layered reality that was hard for the crooks to dig through. The Benally family though, they were good people. He blew out a breath and closed his eyes. Frustration would get him nowhere with Eddie. Matías had to think this through, really weigh his options and set aside his knee-jerk reaction to protect Raven from his world. Objectively, what Eddie said had merit and Raven was a great pilot. She’d never flown for him, but she was always in and out of the airport. Besides, in all the time Matías had courted Victor, he’d seen Hokee maybe a handful of times. If he played this right, perhaps he could keep Victor away from the plane entirely. He didn’t like the idea of Raven being anywhere near his job. She was a breath of fresh air. This evilness didn’t need to touch her. He took a deep breath. They could postpone the buy, but there might never be another chance. Word was Victor had been caught grumbling about the world order. If the DEA didn’t snag him soon, Victor might disappear. His bosses might dispose of a disgruntled employee. Victor might go into hiding. There was no telling what might happen, if they let this opportunity pass them by. From a timing standpoint, it had to be now. Being free of Victor would be one less dark spot on Matías’ soul. Which meant that he would have to be the best fucking agent this time around. No room for mistakes. There was so much about undercover work that he couldn’t control. His pilot? He felt as if that were something he should have had more input on. Clearly, Eddie had known and left him out of the loop on the decision making process. Sometimes Matías wondered if the DEA was actually in the business of catching criminals, because at times, their processes were plain fucked up. Eddie’s plan could work, but Matías didn’t like it. There was the chance it could go horribly—which was a danger with every mission. All he had to do was scrape by one last time and he was done. He just wished it didn’t involve Raven. Her family would skin him alive if anything happened to her. But all Raven had to do was fly him down south, sit on the tarmac, then fly home. Was he creating danger? Was this paranoia talking? Matías pushed his hand through his hair and blew out a breath. Lately, he was spooking at shadows. All the more reason to get out now before it got worse and he was no longer good for the field. He pivoted and returned to the duo. Raven’s gaze snagged his. Was it his imagination, or did she seem worried? Damn it. He should control his temper better. The last thing he needed was for her to be anxious about the mission. “I don’t like last-minute changes. You’d think I’d be used to this by now. She stays in the plane, in and out only, got it?”

“That’s the plan,” Eddie said quickly. “I’d like to get Raven a burner phone, in case she runs into anything.” “Already done.” She slid a plain, blue phone from her pocket. “Good. Eddie program it for you?” “He did.” “All right. Let’s get in the air. I can brief you as we fly.” “Great.” Eddie turned to Raven. “Let us know when he leaves.” Raven nodded and climbed the stairs into the plane. She had a smooth way of moving, as if her feet never really touched the ground. Matías followed her, his gaze drawn to the tantalizing sway of her hips. There was a tiny hole, worn in the seat of her jeans, just below the pocket. He could see skin, the same warm, cinnamon hue as the rest of her. He jerked his head up and shoved the misguided attraction into the recesses of his mind. Raven wasn’t the kind of woman who would understand his tastes. It was one of several reasons he’d told himself friendship was all he could offer her. There were few things Matías knew beyond a shadow of a doubt were born from him. His desire for control was one of them. Raven Benally didn’t know that side of him, and it was probably for the best that she never found out. Pretty girls like her didn’t need dangerous men like him in their lives. A little while longer and he would be free of the job, this constant change of identities. He’d be free to find out who he really was, and most of all—he could indulge all his desires. One more day… RAVEN KEPT HER SPINE straight as she walked to the cockpit and radioed the tower for take-off. As usual, whenever the DEA flew in or out of the airport, they worked with a skeleton crew. It was just her, a cousin in the tower and another in the hanger, if they didn’t count Hokee, passed out in his office. This whole thing was a nightmare. What if Matías found out? God, he’d hate her if he knew the secrets she was keeping, but she had to. Didn’t she? She was so confused and conflicted. How could her grandpa have lied to her for so long? And Uncle Danny? Raven was still reeling from the shock of their deception. Her family, who had flown for the DEA doing a good thing—had become money hungry. She didn’t know how long Grandpa Hokee and Uncle Danny had flown pot and coke in from Mexico without telling her. She didn’t think her cousins were in on it. Just the thought of their deception made her hands shake. “Hey, boy, you going with us?” Matías knelt next to the kennel bolted behind her seat. She smiled at the dachshund, who wiggled his whole body as Matías stuck his fingers between the wires. “How do you say his name again?” God, watching him with her dog melted her heart. Of course, the little dog loved everyone he met, so that wasn’t surprising, but Matías didn’t have to pay attention to him at all. “Níłch’i?” she replied, the native Navajo rolling off her tongue. “Yeah, that.” “Neet-chi,” she said slowly. “Netchi.” Níłch’i’s ears perked up and he sat up on his haunches, balancing perfectly—front paws bent, floppy ears slightly perked and his big, expressive eyes telegraphing, Pet me, loud and clear. “Damn, he’s cute. Does it mean something?” “Benevolent spirit.” She’d had the dog since she was a pre-teen, and he’d stuck by her through some of her hardest years. “We ready to go?” Matías scratched the dog’s nose.

“Yeah, almost.” Raven took a deep breath and squeezed her hands into fists to stop the tremors. Good thing she’d already completed her pre-flight check. More than once. She’d gone through it several times over the last hour and a half. Flying the cargo plane to Mexico would be just like the little hops she’d been doing the last couple of months to cover flights for her uncle and grandfather. She’d thought Hokee was just getting old, and that her uncle was dealing with it in his own way. It was the only reason she could come up with for why they would miss jobs like they had. Little did she know, they’d been useless and high. It pissed her off so much to think that she’d unknowingly enabled them—and now she was covering for them. Why hadn’t she just packed up, left, and let them get caught? Because the airport supported so many families on the reservation. Honest work was sometimes hard to find, and the people they employed might not be able to find equal pay anywhere else. I’m not doing this for Hokee or Danny. I’m doing this for everyone who counts on us. Raven hated lying to Matías. She…liked him. With those dark, brooding eyes, the neatly-trimmed hair and swanky suit, he was good enough to eat, one bite at a time. But he’d never given her any indication he was interested. Which was probably for the best, given her situation. It was one thing to lie to a friend and a whole other matter when it came to lying to a lover. Right now, she needed to concentrate on the Cessna. Raven pushed the family drama out of her mind and focused on the controls. The hardest parts were the take-off and landing. Cruising wasn’t difficult. Raven doubled back and closed the door, securing it for take-off. The exterior was already prepared. Once Eddie had seen the car with Matías pulling up, she’d scurried around to get everything else taken care of. The faster they got out, the better. Matías sighed and unbuttoned his suit jacket. Next to him, she felt every grain of sand and sweat clinging to her body. When she’d gotten dressed this morning, she’d anticipated a day full of flying her crop duster. The demand for their services had sky-rocketed since switching to an all-organic, non-toxic form of pesticide. And then she’d surprised Hokee in his office, snorting coke. Hours before the DEA was supposed to be there. She’d panicked, and her grandfather casually admitted to transporting the drugs. The worst part was, she could believe it of Hokee and Danny. They’d always pushed for ways to make more money, and it had been her father who had been the voice of reason. Their consciences. Without him in the business anymore, there was no compass. No heart. Raven needed a way out, and after this flight was over, she’d take her plane, her dog, and her truck somewhere else. Maybe set up shop for herself. “Should I call you Matías or José?” Raven flicked the switches and the engines roared to life. A dose of adrenaline shot through her system, amping up her nerves. Once more, her hands shook. She’d wanted to fly cargo since forever, but the answer had always been no. It was reserved for her grandfather and uncle, despite the fact that her father had pushed to purchase the Cessna. But then he’d left two months after buying it. Now she knew why. “Let’s stick with José.” Matías pushed the armrest up and leaned toward her, elbows perched on his knees. “Hey, is something wrong?” Oh God, no. Don’t ask. Don’t ask! Because she wanted to tell him. To ask him what she should do. There was something about Matías that made her open up and tell him her secrets, stupid as they were. “Nothing, really. I’ve just thought about these trips for so long, it’s a little crazy to finally get to go on one.” Her nerves were driving her to chat. She adjusted her headset and hoped her cousin was still up in the tower. Matías didn’t reply immediately. She glanced at him, noting his pursed lips and wrinkled nose. “What?” she asked.

“If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. I don’t want Eddie to pressure you into doing something you aren’t ready for.” God, he was sweet. She could just kiss him, but that would only lead to more awkwardness. “No, I’ll be fine. It’s my first trip into Mexico.” She glanced at him and smiled. At least that was a truth. “You’ll do great. And the sky is the same, no matter where you go.” The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly. He never smiled much, but for some reason the expression seemed especially stiff. Níłch’i yipped from his crate strapped to the bulkhead behind her. The little dog loved to fly. She blew out a breath and took the controls. Flying was in her blood. This part of the ruse, she could do. Carefully, she eased them away from the hanger and onto the runway. “Easy, boy,” she called without thinking about it. Usually when she flew the little crop duster, Níłch’i sat in her lap. It wasn’t exactly regulation, but she’d flown for years without anyone licensing her. Just her dad teaching her to read the gauges and how to listen to the wind. It had been a simpler time. “Is he going to bark the whole time?” “No, just during take-off and landing. Otherwise he goes to sleep. I think it’s the pressure.” She gestured to her ears. “Does he fly with you often?” “All the time. Ever since I started flying at fourteen. Hold on.” Raven radioed to the tower and got the go-ahead to get this show started. One takeoff, and she could call this bullet officially dodged. Uncle Danny had been so excited when the DEA approached them about working with an undercover agent. They’d seen dollar signs, convinced this would bring cash rolling in. She could still remember her father warning Uncle Danny and Grandpa Hokee that this wouldn’t be the solution to all their financial problems. But once the others had grabbed hold of her uncle’s dream, it was over. Thoughts are like arrows, Raven. Once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well, or one day you may be your own victim. Her father had seen the end before she’d known what was going on. She suspected the fight that had sent him packing was about the drugs. She’d been away that weekend. He’d called her, offering her one chance to go with him or stay. No explanations, because he wouldn’t want to reveal secrets, no matter how bad. At the time, she hadn’t understood. But now, looking back, she could see where his words bore fruit. Somewhere along the line, Hokee had realized that the DEA wasn’t about to be their cash cow. Since she wasn’t part of the inner circle, she hadn’t seen how things spiraled until it was too late. Oh, she’d noticed the slack in the administration, the mistakes, but she’d chalked it up to the stress of her father leaving. Working for the DEA was the worst thing that could have happened to her family. Instead of working with the agents to prevent drugs from coming into the country, her uncle and grandfather had become drug mules themselves. The very thing they’d started out helping the DEA stop. It made her sick to her stomach. Was she doing the right thing? If she hadn’t covered for Hokee, they’d have shut the airport down today. Josh, their mechanic, had just seen kid number four born that week, and Angela, who did their books, was a newly-divorced, single mom. They needed their jobs. They needed her to lie. It didn’t rest well on her conscience. “Hang on,” she said. Matías muttered something under his breath the second before she pushed the throttle lever forward and the Cessna Cargomaster lumbered down the strip. It was a completely different feel from the crop dusters she normally flew, a bit heavier and slower at first, but once she got rolling, the power behind the engines was substantial. It built and built, vibrating the plane and rattling the clips fastened to rings in the

floor and walls. Raven sat forward, almost on the edge of her seat, as far as the seatbelt would let her go. She held her breath and pulled the control wheel toward her a bit more. The nose of the plane lifted and her stomach dropped. She could feel the vibrations abate as the front wheel came off the ground. She adjusted the throttle a bit more, watching her primary flight display for anything out of the ordinary. The wheels left earth, and they were airborne. A thrill shot through her body as the earth rushed away from her. Níłch’i howled behind her, echoing her excitement. There was nothing more thrilling or empowering than putting a hunk of metal in the air. She glanced at Matías. Some of the tension eased. They were airborne. This would be over soon. Why not enjoy it and the company? “What is it we’re doing today? Getting a bad guy?” “Something like that.” She guided the plane to cruising altitude and engaged the auto-pilot. It was a beautiful day for flying. Clear skies and hardly any wind. There wasn’t anything on the weather report would interfere with their path for the whole flight that. Matías leaned back in his seat, hands crossed over his stomach in a resting pose. Dang, if he wasn’t attractive. Throw in that he was a real secret agent, and it was a good thing she didn’t see him often. She might embarrass herself further by trying to flirt with him. “Who taught you how to fly? Your dad or Hokee?” he asked. “My daddy taught me. I’d sit on his lap while he dusted fields. Eventually, I was the one doing all the work.” “It’s a family thing, then?” “Yeah, my great-grandfather flew in WWII and passed it down. Before that, the family was farmers and ranchers, but competition outside of the reservation was too steep.” “Damn. I can’t believe I never knew that. What did you grow?” “No idea. Chilies? They sold the farmland and took the stretch on the edge of the reservation for the airstrip, back when my grandfather started to fly. They’ve been growing the business since.” “I always liked the idea of family business.” “Your mom would make a great spy. Just saying.” She chuckled. “How is she?” Matías sighed. “No clue. I haven’t seen her in two years.” Raven’s heart ached for him. Leave it to her to stick her foot in it. “I thought you were going to go see her, spend Easter?” What had that been? A year ago? Dang. It was the longest stretch she’d ever gone without seeing him. “It’s safer if I don’t contact her. I was…I was deep undercover for a long time. It was dangerous, and I didn’t want to put her at risk.” A dark shadow passed over his face. She had to wonder how bad it was that it would stick with him so long. “But you’re getting out of the DEA now. That’s what Eddie said.” “Damn. What does Eddie not tell you?” She chuckled, relaxing even more. God, it had been well over a year since she’d seen him. How could she miss someone she saw so rarely? “Do you at least talk to her? What’s she doing?” “Whatever she wants, after working three jobs to raise me and my brothers. She cans peaches. Can you believe that?” Matías shook his head. Be still my beating heart. Could Matías get any better? “Why’s that so funny?” Raven glanced at him. “What’s wrong with canning peaches?” A woman who raised three sons on her own had to be one hell of a lady. Her father had just had her to worry about, and she’d given him plenty of gray hairs.

“I tell her, ‘Mamma, you can do whatever you want, just tell me. I’ll take care of it.’ She says me, ‘Mijo, I want a pallet of canning jars.’ Good grief. If I never have to eat another peach again, I’ll be fine. She sends them to our office and I give them away to anyone who will take them.” “She sounds like a spunky lady.” Raven laughed and eased back into her seat. “She had to be, with us around.” “You gave her hell, didn’t you?” “Believe it or not, I was actually the good kid.” “You? No.” “Yeah. Me. The good kid. I got a job at fifteen, and at sixteen, I started working as an informant for border patrol there in El Paso and turned it into a career.” “That’s kind of amazing.” She’d had to drop out of high school to work, so she understood the kind of drive it took at that age to grow up. He didn’t reply, but she could feel the mood change, as if they’d settled under a warm blanket together. It was always easy with Matías. Something about him…spoke to her. As if when he was near, her spirit stilled to hear him better. Too bad she was practically lying to him, but if she’d been honest, Hokee and the whole business would have wound up in trouble.



CH A P TER TWO



“They just landed, señor.” Victor stared out at the airport from his vantage point of the second floor conference room. He flicked his hand and the office rat scurried out of sight. He was taking a risk. A big one. But the business needed to change, and he wasn’t sure who he could trust. If this plan worked, he could build an empire the likes of which would throw shadows on The Corporation. To do that, he needed people he could control. José Gonzalez was not the biggest buyer, nor the one with the best connections, but he was the client with the darkest secrets. It had taken months to ferret out José’s true self, but once Victor found the chink in the man’s armor, the rest of the plan was easy to unfold. He would twist the man’s arm into working for him, once he was again certain José had nothing to hide, that he wasn’t suddenly working for the Americans. Then he’d make the man an offer he couldn’t refuse. MATÍAS STEPPED OUT OF the plane, and the weight of the mission settled on his shoulders, as oppressive as ever. Somehow, he’d managed to forget what they were doing during the flight. Raven had handled the plane like a veteran pilot and given him nothing to worry about, but more than that, she’d reminded him of bits and pieces of himself. He wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. She was witty, honest and down to earth. He liked her, not that it mattered. Soon, Victor would pull up, they’d do this deal, and he’d never see another drug dealer or cargo plane again. He’d also never see Raven Benally after this, and that was a shame. He glanced over his shoulder as she bent to shove wooden blocks on either side of the wheels. The ground crew, or whatever they were called, scurried around, helping her. Once more, he glimpsed that tiny bit of flesh at the curve of her ass. Dark desires swirled in his mind. It would be all too easy to imagine the rest of her, nude, bent over his knee. She’d be fun to spank, though he doubted she would ever have a submissive urge. There was nothing of the submissive vibe to her, and though she might think it was fun for a night, he needed more. He needed a life. She stood and turned toward him, catching his stare. One side of her mouth hitched up in a smile he might have called inviting. But they were friends. Had been for years. “You almost done?” he asked. “Almost. Hold your horses, all right?”

Matías cursed under his breath and paced back and forth in front of the hangar. Both of the doors were open and a hot wind swept through, scalding his skin and bringing with it the bite of sand. Lazaro Cardenas was a small airport, with a few airstrips and a bustling staff. They had no idea what was going to transpire here today. Though, to be honest, the real action would happen at the port, once they were technically off Mexican land. The DEA hadn’t trusted the Mexican officials when they’d promised to cooperate with the bust. It was probably a miracle someone hadn’t already sold their secrets. But then again, Victor could always show up with a bunch of guys and guns to put a few holes in him and prove Matías wrong. The minutes stretched on and before he knew it, almost an hour had passed. The airport staff had left their hanger alone, and true to her word, Raven was inside while he stared out at the landscape, waiting for something to happen. When this was done, he could find a woman like her—but a submissive. Someone he could play with for more than a night or a weekend. A person he could be honest with. Learn to love. As rewarding a career as he’d had, it wasn’t everything. He needed more than the job. It was a truth several old timers had told him, back when he was starting out with the DEA, so full of fire and determination that they would end the so called War on Drugs. Now, he knew better. It was a never-ending war, with rules that kept changing. He pivoted and stalked toward the plane. His mouth was dry, and his eyes hurt from the sun. Besides, why stand outside baking, when he could be inside, enjoying her company? The inside of the plane was almost pitch black to his sun-weary eyes. He had to pause inside the hatch to let them adjust. Raven lay on the floor of the plane, her little dog out of his crate and sprawled on her stomach. Her hair was fanned out around her head and she had a battery-operated fan pointed at them, which was gently rustling her tank top. She was beautiful like that, in her element. He’d always liked a woman who could handle herself and Raven was the kind of woman who could roll with the punches. “No Victor?” she asked. “Not yet.” He grabbed the edge of one of the folding seats and lowered it so he could sit. “He might be making me wait while he’s watching.” “Really?” “Yup. These guys, they don’t get far in life without being suspicious. Careful.” “Sounds exhausting.” She yawned, covering her mouth with one hand while the other held the fan steady. “Neetchi. Come here, boy.” Níłch’i’s ears perked up and he scampered from his comfortable place on Raven’s stomach to Matías. The dog flopped over on his back, presenting his stomach for a rub. Raven chuckled. “He likes you.” “Well, aren’t I lucky?” He gently scratched the dog’s head. “Put in a good word for me, okay?” he said. “Uh-oh, what did you do?” Raven rolled to her stomach, chin propped in her palm. “Me?” He glanced at her, resolutely not admiring the way her tank top framed her breasts or the way they were plumped, resting on her arm. “Nothing.” He was so going to hell. “I find that hard to believe.” “I’m innocent, I swear.” “Hmm.” Her gaze narrowed. “Honest. Cross my heart, hope to die.” He drew his finger over his chest in the shape of an X, or a St. Andrew’s cross, depending on which take he preferred. Right now? The cross. Where he could buckle Raven’s arms out to either side of her head and have his way with her.

“Then what will you do?” One brow arched and she smirked. He’d strip her first. Matías cleared his throat and sat up. “I can’t answer that. It’s classified.” She tossed her head back and laughed. “I am never getting into an argument with you. Everything would be classified, or sorry you don’t have clearance for that, or something else.” “That’s probably wise. I am right, after all.” She rolled her eyes, but the smile stayed firmly in place. Damn. Why did it have to be her? He’d had a perfectly willing woman pining for him in Chicago. During those last few weeks, he’d found himself thinking more about this trip, and a few minutes with Raven, than the woman who would do anything for him. Matías was a rotten bastard, and he knew it. “What are you doing after this?” he asked, despite knowing it wasn’t a good idea. If he knew what she was doing, and he didn’t have rules to keep him away, he might be tempted to join her. “I don’t know. I’ve got some decisions to make that I don’t want to, so I’m putting them off.” She glanced away and the brightness dimmed. “Like?” What was going on? Problems at home? She sighed and sat up, crossing her legs and dusting imaginary dirt from her shirt. “Like.” She shrugged and glanced away. “Since my dad left the company, I get the crap jobs.” “Thanks.” “No, that’s not what I’m saying. This,” she gestured to him and the plane, “is a good gig. Usually, I’m just crop dusting. Dad and I pushed to buy this thing. It was going to be our baby. We were gearing up to do long-distance hauls, cross-country stuff.” “Why’d he leave?” She hesitated again, stirring up his curiosity. Raven always talked to him. What was stopping her now? “He didn’t tell me everything. I can only guess, but I think he and Grandpa got into it over something that was business and personal. As soon as he was gone, they stopped the plans we’d made for the Cessna and that was it. I was back to crop dusting.” “Damn. There’s no upward movement, so you have to go somewhere else.” He chuckled. Great choice of words, bro. “I mean, you can’t get promoted.” “No, not when it’s just family.” She sighed. “What about going somewhere else?” He knew that Raven’s family had stayed close to the reservation, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t strike out and have a successful career elsewhere. “I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t have enough formal training to qualify for much. My options are limited.” “Maybe you need to get away, clear your head.” Matías couldn’t help but feel invested in whatever Raven did with her future. He understood the difficulties that came from building your life from nothing. In many ways, they had taken similar paths. “You free this weekend?” “What’s this weekend?” She shrugged and smiled, a little of the sunshine coming back. “Getting away. I’ve got a plane.” “That’s one hell of an invitation.” Put the brakes on, man. One side of her mouth curled up and her smile became sly. “Got a destination in mind?” Chicago. House Surrender. Leather. Cuffs. A dragon tail whip. Screaming orgasms, and not the kind you got in a shot glass. “There’s a lot of places I’d like to actually get to see.” He shrugged and glanced away from her. “Well, if you decide someplace sounds good, let me know. I can get almost anywhere in a couple of

hours.” Was she serious? His gut said yes. Raven was just the type of woman to pack up and fly herself someplace new. If he extended a weekend invitation to her—she’d be there. Did she know what that meant? Unlikely, but what if he left the kinky stuff behind for a couple of days? Could he do it? Maybe rent a cabin somewhere on a lake or a river, far away from anything, and just—be. Be whoever he wanted to be. Enjoy her company, let things take their natural course. But what if he wanted more? The truth would eventually come out. Raven’s smile evaporated and her gaze narrowed. “We’ve got company.” Matías stood and turned toward the hatch, gazing out at the tarmac. Three SUVs with tinted windows rolled toward them with speed. If he had to guess, this little convoy was outfitted with bullet-proof glass and tires, plus reinforced doors and protective paneling on the engine block. The cars wouldn’t be fast, but they were about as close to tanks as you could get without raiding a military garage. “Stay inside. Don’t let anyone see you,” he said without glancing over his shoulder. It was time. He buttoned his jacket and ran his hands down the lapels, rooting himself in the persona of José Gonzalez. I’ve done millions of dollars in deals. I know the names of all the top Mexican officials, and I have the US border chief in McAllen on speed dial. I haven’t seen my family in years, but I send them money, because a good son takes care of his family. I have a string of girlfriends in many cities. I am José Gonzalez. The SUVs came to a stop outside the hanger. Each parked at an angle, one after the other, a tactic used in case a situation got hot and they took fire. Parking at an angle meant none of the vehicles could be boxed in by the others. It was a good move and the drivers did it with practiced ease. The last two SUVs opened and two men got out of the back seat of each, carrying automatic rifles commonly referred to as Fire Snakes, or the FX-05 Xiuhcoatl. He’d carried one during his time undercover with the Valdez Cartel. They were the weapon of choice for the Mexican military. Interesting that Victor’s people were carrying them. Matías held up his hands and turned in a circle, lifting the back of his jacket to show he wasn’t armed. He also pulled the legs of his trousers up to show that he lacked an ankle holster. They wouldn’t care about the knife in his pocket, just that he never showed it. He’d stopped carrying guns to meets with Victor after two years of doing business with him, as a show of good faith. At the time, he’d hoped it would coax the man into coming to The States, where he could be arrested, but the ruse had never worked, and now he couldn’t show up carrying a gun without arousing suspicion. In hindsight, it’d been a poor choice. Victor got out of the back seat of the first SUV. He was a suave man in his early forties with a few streaks of gray at his temple, which gave him an aristocratic air. “José.” Victor smiled and spread his hands. Matías took that as permission to approach and stepped down the stairs at a brisk pace. “Victor, it’s been too long.” Matías spoke in Spanish, the words rolling off his tongue as if he really had been born south of the border. Victor met him halfway, his armed men at his back and a hand outstretched to shake. At a glance, this was a meeting between friends. Victor even brought him in close, wrapping his left arm around Matías’ shoulders in a gesture that appeared to be an embrace, but wasn’t. Victor hit all the places on his back where straps for a holster might fall. It was almost impressive, if it weren’t so damn annoying. “I was expecting you sooner,” Matías said. Victor shrugged and glanced at his bodyguards. “My men, they needed a siesta.” Translation: We were watching you sweat. It was a normal, even expected tactic. Matías was just glad they were getting this thing rolling. There

was a slim chance he could sleep in an American bed tonight. “So, the merchandise?” He clapped his hands together. “Oh no, no, no, not so soon.” Victor’s face creased, as if he were saddened by the idea. “We have other things to discuss.” Fuck. Like the fact they were here to arrest Victor? If he set his men on Matías right now, Raven could be caught in the crossfire. He had to get Victor away from the hangar, and find a way to get her out of here. “Fine, fine. How about something to eat while we talk?” “No time for that. I heard that you’re going out of business.” Victor’s gaze narrowed and he bared his teeth, almost like an animal, and the expression was a little intimidating. Good thing Matías wasn’t easily pushed around. “Really?” “Your mother, she’s a very nice lady.” Matías’ blood went cold. Victor knew. He knew, and this was about to get ugly. He was going to die. Was Mom already dead? Had his profession taken her life as well? He’d always had a feeling he’d die in the field, left to hang, but he’d hoped for one last mission to go according to plan. “She showed me your favorite café in Juarez. Very nice.” “Did she, now?” Which mother was Victor talking about? His real mother in El Paso, or José’s mother, in Juarez? A couple years back, he’d paid a woman to claim him as her son if anyone came calling. Was that purchase still good now? “Yes, I can see where you get your manners and your smile from. She sent me home with tamales that were to die for.” Matías breathed easy. His mother—his real mother—couldn’t cook to save her life. He and his brothers had taken over, out of a sense of self-preservation. About the only thing she could do was make jam and preserves, and that was with his youngest brother’s supervision. “Glad you liked them,” he replied. How had the woman known what to say? Had Eddie briefed her? The man hardly ever left The States, not to mention he loathed field work. Who else was playing in his sand box? “Tell me it’s not true, that you aren’t thinking of quitting.” Victor edged closer and crossed his arms over his chest. Matías sighed and dropped his head, scraping his shoe on the ground. “It’s true.” He paused and glanced up at Victor, hoping the man saw torment and stress in his eyes. “That business in Chicago last year? It hurt me. Now, the Japanese are moving into Chicago, and everyone is afraid of the DEA.” Victor waved his hand. “The DEA are no problem.” Was that so? Matías frowned, letting some of his worry seep around the cracks of his persona. There’d been agents on the take before, as much as he hated to admit it. “Where we’re going, the DEA is clueless. Show me your plane and what it can carry.” Victor gestured behind him. “The same as it always has.” Matías didn’t move. “I want to see it.” If he pressed Victor, he might begin to suspect Matías. So far, other than the initial sweep for a bug or holster, Victor was being forthright with Matías. Something was afoot, and Victor would only share it on his terms. “This way, please.” Matías turned and stomped loudly on the stairs. If there was a compartment, a hidey-hole, hopefully Raven got her ass there and stayed hidden. “It’s a nice plane.” Victor followed him up, but the guards remained behind. Interesting.

Matías ducked his head inside. Raven sat sideways in the pilot’s seat, a magazine in hand and her dog at her feet. Their gazes met, and if he didn’t know the full scope of the situation, he’d say she was relaxed. She lifted her brows and shrugged, glancing around as if to say, Where did you expect me to go? “Victor, my pilot, Raven.” He turned and gestured toward her. Raven stood and held out her hand, muttering a polite hello in Spanish. “José, where have you been keeping this lovely creature?” Victor’s gaze narrowed and one side of his mouth kicked up in a sleazy appraisal of her. He accepted her hand and held it. “In my bedroom, where she belongs,” Matías popped off. Victor’s gaze flicked to him and he released Raven’s hand. “You always get to the beautiful ones first.” To spare them the attentions of others, but never to sample them for himself. That was a line he’d never crossed, and wouldn’t. “Raven, tell me about your plane,” Victor said. “Well, uh, okay.” She turned and gestured to the cargo space, and began rattling off the stats of the plane, what it could carry, fuel estimations and more details than he could have kept straight off the cuff like that, and she did it in Spanish, no less. If he had a moment to spare, he’d be proud of her. Right now, he’d just like to keep her live. RAVEN SPOUTED OFF EVERY detail and factoid she could recall about the Cargomaster from the user manual. Some of the words were tricky to translate into Spanish, but she’d grown up speaking bits of three languages her whole life. If Victor thought there was something odd about her pronunciation, he didn’t give her any indication. Her palms grew sweaty and her throat went dry. With a third person, the hold now felt tight and constraining. What was going on? Matías had told her they were going to leave. Yet there he stood, nodding and encouraging her with his gaze. Something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. “It’s a wonderful plane.” Victor slipped his hands in his pockets and turned in a circle. “Do you work for someone? Or José directly?” What did she say? She glanced at Matías, but he wasn’t looking at her now. He stared out of the hatch, appearing as if the whole conversation were a bore. “It’s a family business, but I make myself available to José whenever he needs my services.” She added a little inflection on that last word. If Matías was going to paint her as his—whatever—she could, too. That got Matías’ attention. He glanced at her and for a moment their gazes locked. The corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. Was it her imagination, or had she done something right? “José has all the luck.” Victor gestured to the folding seats. “Sit. Let us talk business.” “Here?” Matías glanced around, as if affronted. Was there something wrong with her plane? Or was he trying to get Victor away? She couldn’t tell. Someone needed to throw her a parachute for this conversation. “I know. Forgive me, friend. A lot has changed since the Valdez Cartel was dismantled.” Victor took the seat next to the kennel. Níłch’i sat up and wagged his tail at the newcomer. She held her breath as Victor reached toward Níłch’i and scratched his head. If he did anything to her dog, she couldn’t be held responsible for her actions. “We have changed up where we do business.” Matías took a seat across from Victor and patted the one at his side. Well at least he was giving her one signal. She sank into the chair and he took her hand, as if it were normal. They’d never touched like this, a familiar press of palms and fingers, but the contact anchored her. It was small, casual even, but in

this storm of uncertainty, he was warm. Welcoming. “What’s going on, Victor? I don’t like these changes you speak of.” Matías’ scowl would have been enough to make her squirm at his displeasure. Victor examined his nails, not a shred of urgency about him. “We have found ourselves in a predicament, my brothers and I. The Valdez Cartel moved a lot of our product, and it would seem that the Valdez family has turned against their own in some cases. We need someone we can trust with connections and means to move product.” Matías snorted. “You’ve never trusted me.” “I trust you as much as I can afford to trust anyone. You have never let me down, which is why I’ve decided to extend you this offer of partnership. We could make a lot of money, you and I.” “I’m buying a little place in the Caribbean to enjoy myself. Why should I keep working when I could retire?” Victor laughed. It was a grating, scary sound that made her skin crawl. “José, we both know you won’t stay retired long. Men like us, we have work to do. You’re a hustler. Even if you retire, as you so claim, you’ll find another means of work to fill your time. Why not work for me and when you are old and can do no more, retire to an even better place in the Caribbean?” Something was happening. Something Raven didn’t quite grasp because she only saw a tiny bit of the puzzle. She glanced at Victor, then back to Matías, hoping one of them would clear things up for her. The man next to her was, and wasn’t, her Matías. His posture was more rigid, he lacked the hyper awareness she’d grown used to. But his hands, those were the same. “I don’t like this.” Matías frowned. “I came down here to buy a shipment of coke I already have buyers for. Now, you want to change the deal.” “It’s the same deal, my friend, but if you consider partnering with us, you get a bigger percent of the profits. We will sell to you for a cheaper price, but only if you do a larger volume for us.” Matías got up and began pacing the plane. His shoes pounded on the metal floor, punctuating each step. Victor ignored him and instead stared at her, his gaze sliding over her skin as if he were stripping her of her clothes. She fought the urge to shudder and turned to watch Matías, folding her arms over herself, wishing the Columbian would go away. “I don’t like this deal.” Matías stopped his pacing, facing them with his hands on his hips. “If you’d wanted to offer a partnership, you shouldn’t have lured me out here under false pretenses.” Raven swallowed. Was it a good idea to tell a drug dealer with an entourage something like that? She was in over her head, that was for sure. “I know, my friend, and I understand your concerns. I told my boss this was a bad approach, that I should do the deal we agreed to, and bring you back again to pitch you the partnership, but they say we need you now.” Victor shrugged. “Please, if you would consider it, we can get you a hotel and talk more tonight over dinner.” “I have plans, deadlines to make,” Matías said. He was laying on the displeased act thick. Or maybe it wasn’t an act? “They couldn’t wait one night for you to hear us out?” Matías paced the length of the plane once more and back again. He placed his hands on his hips and stared at a spot on the floor. The seconds stretched on while they remained frozen in this tableau. Would Matías stay? Raven didn’t like the idea of leaving him alone. Sure, she knew he went into dangerous situations by himself all the time. But not right in front of her. She couldn’t leave him. Finally, he lifted his gaze to Victor. “I don’t like it, but it is an offer worth considering. Give Raven some time to secure the plane and we will go with you.” Wait—what? She stared at Matías, but he didn’t glance in her direction.

Victor clapped his hands and stood. “Wonderful.” Raven was supposed to be home tonight, so she could tell her uncle and grandfather she was taking her crop duster and leaving. She wasn’t an undercover agent, this wasn’t what she was trained for. “I must make preparations for tonight. We want you to be comfortable. I will leave one car for you, and they can take you to the hotel.” Victor continued to relay details to Matías, but she couldn’t focus on them. She couldn’t do this. This was crazy. She was a pilot. She flew planes, she didn’t do the secret agent bullshit. Maybe she could fly back, say there were obligations she couldn’t get out of. “Hey, you okay?” Matías knelt in front of her. The English, more than anything else, broke her out of her trance. “No.” She shook her head. “What’s going on?” Victor was gone, but she could hear him talking to someone outside. “Is there anything we need to do to lock the plane up? We’re going to have to leave it.” “Can’t you go without me? Can’t I go home?” Matías took her hands, his touch once more grounding her. “We only have a few minutes, and I’m sorry, but we have to do this. Please? I’ll explain it all later.” “But—I’m not like you.” She pitched her voice low, scared to say anything else. “I know, but I’m with you. Just follow my lead. You’re doing beautifully.” He squeezed her hands. “We’ll get a shower at the hotel, I’ll get us a change of clothes, we’ll do dinner and be out of here first thing in the morning, okay?” “I can’t do this.” She shook her head. “Raven—please? This is the kind of break we’ve been waiting almost ten years for. I know the plan was to stop him, but…this is bigger than us. All you have to do is sit beside me and act bored.” It didn’t sound so bad when he put it like that. Matías would be there with her. Once Victor had gotten on a roll, he hadn’t been interested in talking to her. Maybe she could sit on the sidelines, eat her food and be completely mute the whole time. She nodded. “Okay.” “You good?” “No, but I don’t have a choice, do I?” “Not really, I’m afraid.” She blew out a breath and stood, Matías rising with her. He drew her into a hug she desperately needed. “I’m going to be right here with you through all of this. I’m sorry I threw it out there that we’re together, but it was the only thing I could think of in the moment.” “No, no, it’s fine. That guy gives me the creeps anyway.” Matías grimaced. “If you ever find yourself alone with him, get somewhere else. Promise me, okay?” She nodded, still too shaken up to give more of a reply. Raven had never been the kind to shy away from anything, but she was out of her element. At least she had her sexy secret spy to keep her safe.



CH A P TER TH REE



Matías turned every lock on the flimsy door to their hotel room. It was more to ease Raven’s mind than a real security measure. One hard kick and the hinges would pop off. Still, Raven needed to feel some measure of protection and the locks were all he had to offer. The only other things in his possession were a briefcase full of money, a gun, and a phone. He didn’t even have a change of clothes or a comb on him. They were, to a word—fucked. “Is Victor going to be mad we didn’t take their hotel room?” Raven spoke softly, but she needn’t worry. The walls in the cheap hotel might be paper thin, but the patrons had no interest in them. He wished he could offer her a bunker and a couple of body guards. If it were just him, he’d be fine. Danger was part of his job. But Raven? He hated that she was here, in the middle of all this. “No, Victor won’t be angry. He would have refused a room I offered him, too. He might pretend to be offended, but I’m showing him that I am his kind of man.” Matías put his back to the door and turned to watch her. As if this change in plans weren’t bad enough, he was going to have to spend more time telling himself Raven was strictly off limits. Her smile, that laugh, they did things to him. Made his insides… shift. She set the wire crate down on the floor and opened the gate. The dog waddled out and sat at her feet, as if he too were worried. “How long before he needs to go out again?” Matías had to consider their security. They would be at a decided disadvantage here, with regular, unprotected trips outside. He wasn’t too concerned about the instances when he could be with her, as much as he was when he couldn’t be. “Not for a few hours. I can take him out before…before we leave.” She glanced away. During their drive and the arguing over the hotel, she’d sat by, shaking her head or shrugging when a question was aimed at her. But her serene composure was beginning to crack. Matías took her hand and led her to the bed. “Sit,” he ordered. The mattress squeaked as she sat. He knelt on one knee and took her hands in his. They were working hands that knew how to use a wrench and weren’t afraid to get dirty. She had long, delicate fingers. At some point recently, she’d painted her nails yellow. Her favorite color. A small detail he’d learned so long ago that he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t associate the cheerful shade with her. She stared at their joined hands, her eyes growing a bit larger. He’d found that physical contact helped ground people in stressful, unfamiliar circumstances. It was a BDSM tactic he’d brought into the rest of his life, especially when dealing with civilians or people caught up in the wrong situation.

“Take a deep breath.” She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “That’s a good girl,” he muttered. She chuckled and opened her eyes, her gaze a little steadier. “You okay?” he asked. “Do you want the truth?” One side of her mouth hitched up, and for a moment, he wasn’t in a dirty motel on a mission, he was somewhere sunny, with a brisk breeze—with her. “Always.” “No, I’m not okay. I’m scared, and there’s not a lot that scares me. I’ve crashed my plane, been caught up in sandstorms so strong they nearly flipped me out of the sky. This? This is freaking me out a little.” He nodded, though he hated her answer and that he couldn’t comfort her better. “Any normal person would feel that way.” “Well, that’s a relief.” She rolled her eyes. The dog whined. He glanced down at the little animal, who was pressing himself against Matías’ side. If he had to be strong enough for human and animal, so be it. “I need to call my people and let them know what’s going on. After that, we’re going to run through everything for tonight. I’m going to need you to concentrate and remember a lot of things. We won’t have another opportunity to talk freely here. We picked this hotel at random, so there’s no chance it’s bugged, but once we leave, anything is possible, so I want to make sure you know as much as you can handle. Do you need a nap, or food, or a shower before we do this?” “Showering? In this place?” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here.” “I’ll lie down. I probably won’t sleep, though.” She seemed to have regained her cool composure. Raven was a truly remarkable woman. He’d always marveled at how quickly she adapted. There were plenty of other people who would have crumbled the moment Victor walked onto the plane. She’d taken it in stride and adjusted, fitting herself into the role that presented itself. In another life, she’d make a great agent. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles of one and then the other. He told himself it was because they needed practice at acting like a couple, but in truth he wanted to. He always wanted to be nearer her warmth, that glow that he felt whenever he was near her. One side of her mouth hitched up and she bent her head a little in a girlish manner. “Lie down.” He picked up Níłch’i and set him next to her, staying by the bed until she was settled, curled up on her side with the dog nestled against her chest. The hotel room didn’t provide much privacy, but at least he knew there couldn’t be any listening devices in here. It was the main reason he’d pushed so hard to stay away from Victor’s prepared room. There was no doubt in his mind that the Columbian would have been listening to their every word. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. The enclosed space had no vent, so it smelled slightly of metal and mold mixed together. He would not be showering here either, and his standards weren’t that high. Matías turned on the sink and bathtub faucets. As counter-surveillance measures went, they were about as low-tech as you got, but if someone were trying to listen in, all they’d hear was garbled noise. Matías pulled out his cell phone and dialed a back-up number he’d know in his sleep. It was a backdoor number into the agency. “Joe’s Bar and Grill,” a voice answered. Really? He rattled off his ID number, name, and handler to the woman on the other end of the line. “One moment, sir.” Matías stared at his reflection. There wasn’t enough space in this closet to take a single step, so he

bounced on the balls of his feet. His tics were getting more pronounced in the field. He used to never give away anything, but instead of getting better at it, he was losing some of his edge. Which was exactly why he needed out now. His heart wasn’t in it anymore. Eddie answered the phone, and in as short of a description possible, he relayed the events to his handler. “The team was starting to get worried you hadn’t shown up yet. I’ll get someone on the phone to tell them to immediately stand down,” Eddie said. “Make sure they don’t leave the site until shift change, or it will look suspicious,” Matías said. Decisions the suits, or supervisors, made weren’t always the best for field work. His handler and bosses had never seen a day of what he did, and never would. “Good idea. Now, what are you planning to do at this meet?” “Go. Hear him out.” Matías blew out a breath. “If we’re lucky, he’ll tell me something that will let us know where their headquarters is. Maybe then we can arrange to do the buy bust when I go to leave. He’s still going to sell the product to me, just not right now. Tomorrow, probably.” “Okay, I’ll have the team down there on standby. Do you need anything else?” “A change of clothes would be nice. Oh. One bad thing.” “What’s that?” “Raven’s still here with me. Someone needs to let her family know she’s okay and will likely be out for a while. Let me know if they need to talk to her? They’ll probably need some talking off the ledge.” “How are you going to work her into your identity?” “She’s my girlfriend.” “Good, good.” “I need to go. Sorry to make this brief, but I have a lot to prep her on.” Matías hung up the phone and blew out a breath. Maybe he could have refused the offer from Victor, but that would be because Matías didn’t want to do it. José was a man with certain tastes who liked money. Victor’s offer was too good, which was probably why he’d made it. Matías—José—was being lured into something. What? He didn’t know yet, and likely wouldn’t be excited about it, either. He opened the bathroom door, a rectangle of light falling across Raven’s face. Her eyes glinted. He crooked his finger, hesitant to speak more than necessary. She sat up, head tilted to one side, but got out of bed and came to him—no questions asked. He closed the door behind her and they shuffled around until she stood in front of the toilet with him by the vanity. Raven reached past him and turned the sink faucet almost off. He hadn’t noticed the water about to run over, because he’d been too wrapped up in himself. “What’s going on?” she asked. “It makes it harder for people to listen in on us.” “Yeah, I watched spy shows, I get this.” She waved to the sink and tub. “But what’s next?” “I need to teach you everything you need to know about José Gonzales.” He crossed his arms over his chest. There were a hundred nuances that went with an identity like this one. He’d played the role of José for years, developing his character, creating likes and dislikes. How could he teach them all to her in the matter of a few hours? Raven lowered the toilet lid and sat down. “First, if you feel out of your element, freaked out or don’t know what to say, ask me, What do you think? It’ll be our code for me to take over and try to get us out of whatever situation we’re in.” “Okay, got it. What do you think?” She nodded. “My name is José Gonzales, I’m from Juarez, but I haven’t been back there in years because of some bad blood between my uncle and I. There was also an incident with the Carrillo and Fuentes families that made me leave, which is how I got into the narcotics trade. Now, for the last—”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Raven waved her hand. “How long have we been dating?” “I…don’t know. What’s reasonable?” “My point. Let’s say we’ve been dating a month—I’m not going to know all of that. What I will know are things like, do you tilt right, or left? How you like your pizza, your mixed drink or beer of choice. If we stick to a short relationship, I don’t have to know everything about José.” “Do I tilt right or left?” He squinted. What was that supposed to mean? “You know, when you kiss, which way do you tilt?” One side of her mouth hitched up in the most fascinating way. Kissing, displays of affection—he hadn’t even gotten that far yet. He was worried about the details. “I…don’t know which way I tilt.” When was the last time he’d kissed someone? “But do you get what I’m saying? There’s no way I’m going to remember who you had a beef with years ago, and really, what’s the chance they’re going to ask me? I get the feeling that to them, I’m little more than wallpaper.” Maybe he should have let her nap a little longer. She was firing on more cylinders than he was. Then again, he’d never had to transform a civilian into an undercover agent in a matter of hours. And she had some good points. Victor would admire her, probably flirt with her and if he were really ballsy, attempt to grope her at some point, but that could be the extent of her interaction with him. “Okay. So, where did we meet?” he asked. “The airstrip. He already knows Hokee. Stick to as much of the truth as we can.” They were on the same page. He nodded, a little bit of hope coming back. “What was our first date?” he asked. She pursed her lips. “I flew us somewhere, and you took me out to a fancy dinner.” “Puerto Vallarta. I’ve established that I do business out of there. I bought you a dress—” “Yellow.” “—and we rented a bungalow for the weekend. We haven’t been apart since.” She grinned at him. “Sounds like a great getaway.” “It is. I’d like to actually see the place someday. Stay at the Barceló and actually get to enjoy it.” He knew the ins and outs of all the airports, who hung out in what bars, but the tourist stuff that everyone else knew was a mystery to him. Someday, he’d travel and actually enjoy it. “What’s your favorite place you’ve been to?” Raven asked. “Who? José or Matías?” “You.” She chuckled. She had no idea how confusing of a question that was. Who was he? José? Or Matías? He pondered the question for a moment. This job had taken him all over North and South America. He’d seen places most people would only ever read about, a few that would never make it onto a map, and yet, there was only one place he wanted to be. “My own bed.” With a submissive who looked like her. “What?” She shook her head and laughed. “I’m serious. After a while, all the places and people blur together and the only place I want to be is in my own bed.” “Well, here’s hoping that tomorrow you get to sleep there.” Wouldn’t that be great? “Do you tilt right or left?” he asked. Raven grinned. “I’m a lefty.” “Good to know, I guess.” He shouldn’t need to kiss her, at least not at a business dinner, but he wanted to. If he kissed Raven once, he’d want to do it again, and neither of them needed him distracted tonight. “Let me tell you some stories I tell Victor every now and then.”

“Are these your back when I played football and scored the winning touchdown stories?” She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. It was his turn to laugh. Too bad this was a one-time gig. Raven could be a fantastic cover. But this was his last job. One more night. Another dinner. And they were done. He’d make sure Raven got home safe, and then he’d never see her again. It was a sad thought, but really, what did she need a guy like him for? VICTOR PACED THROUGH THE empty club. In a matter of minutes, the doors would open and the patrons would slink into this den of sin. He’d known people who had depraved tastes, and on occasion, he liked a woman who struggled, but this was a whole different world to him. José had hidden his proclivities well. Victor had turned over a couple dozen rocks looking for the stinking, fetid skeletons he knew the man was hiding. Hell, he’d been at the point where if he didn’t find something on José soon, he would have had to kill him—just to cover his ass. No man lived without secrets. And secrets were never kept for long. His phone vibrated and he glanced at the screen. It was his idiot of a boss, the pompous kid who thought he would take over his father’s business. If Victor had his way, he’d sink them and toast their deaths while taking over. But first, he needed the right people. RAVEN SQUINTED AT THE two-story building as the rest of the Columbian’s friends got out of the SUVs. Matías was at her side, a hand pressed against the small of her back. When Victor said they would go out for dinner, she had expected a restaurant. The building they’d pulled up to was one of many night clubs, lit with ropes of neon lights. Music thumped from each establishment, so loud it jarred her teeth. The highs of techno and the pulsing base of club electronica melded together with the laughter of people stumbling from club to club. A line of people wrapped around the building closest to them. The would-be patrons weren’t dressed in typical club attire. Some were in fairy costumes, except chains wound round their arms. Others were in fanciful outfits with gags over their mouths. Many wore cuffs or collars. What kind of a place was Victor taking them to for dinner? Was it too late to back out? “What is this place?” Matías asked Victor. “A local club promoter put this together. It’s the latest thing. Fetish Ball. I believe you have these in America? I did my homework. I think you’ll like it.” Victor smoothed his hands down his jacket. Despite the darkness, she could feel his gaze stabbing her in the chest. Fetish Ball? What the hell was that? I’m just a wallflower. I don’t matter. Raven had a bad feeling about this. Matías rubbed his hand in small circles against her back. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into him, soaking up all the comfort he had to give. At least she had 007 in her corner. “This is unacceptable,” Matías said. “My people, we need to know every part of your life, José. Even this.” Victor edged closer, his hands up, his voice pitched so low she almost couldn’t make out his words over the music. “We don’t condemn. It’s very—interesting.” His gaze flicked to her. Victor was an evil man. She felt it in her bones every time he looked at her. “We are done,” Matías said. He grasped her hand. “Come on.” “José, don’t be so hasty.” Victor grabbed Matías’ arm, but Victor’s gaze was on her. “We need to show these men they can trust you. What better way than sharing this world with them?” “Haven’t I done enough to prove I’m trustworthy?” Matías jerked his arm out of Victor’s grasp.

His gaze snapped to Matías. “Trustworthy enough to peddle some coke? Yes. Trustworthy enough to show you our factory? To be able to fly shipments in and out of our borders? No.” For a moment, neither man moved. Raven didn’t know much about the drug trade, but this sounded like a big deal. Sort of like revealing your secret clubhouse. Except this clubhouse came packed with drugs, guns, and people who wouldn’t hesitate to kill them. “Sit with us. Have a drink. Eat,” Victor said. “Give me a moment.” Matías’ voice was a low growl. He pulled Raven after him as he paced down the street toward a bodega. “Don’t look behind us.” “What’s going on?” She swallowed hard and held tight to his hand. “I did a job a long time ago that involved participating at a BDSM club. I’m guessing that Victor has uncovered bits and pieces of these other identities and assumes they’re all the same version of me.” “What does that mean?” “Which part?” “All of it.” Matías led her into the convenient store and began studying bottles of water. “I’ll tell you more later, but what I’m guessing is that he’s about to try to shock us. He’s assuming we are kinky, into alternative sexual practices. Now I get why he’s been staring at you so much.” His hand tightened on hers to the point it was uncomfortable. She was scared. None of this made any sense. But she had Matías with her. “What do I need to do?” she asked. “Watch like you’re into whatever is going on. Pretend it’s normal. Try to not stare.” “Don’t stare, but watch?” “You know, there’s gawking-staring, and then there’s watching.” “I’m going to do what you do. How’s that sound?” “Good. Ready to do this?” “No, but we’ll do it anyway.” Matías leaned in and kissed her temple. She held perfectly still, holding her breath as his lips grazed her skin. He purchased two snacks and a bottle of water before they returned to Victor’s group in front of the club. Matías didn’t even say anything, he just nodded to the open double doors and the hooded doorman. Victor led their group to the doors and glanced over his shoulder, a smile on his face. She didn’t like it when that man smiled. It made her feel nauseous and apprehensive. What were they walking into? Fetish Ball? BDSM? She had no idea what to expect or how to try to be normal. If it weren’t for Matías leading her after Victor, she might have turned and fled. They stepped through the doors, into a short foyer. Lights painted the walls in blues and greens. Two women were chained on either side of the entry, wearing little more than metallic bikinis and fairy wings. A scream punctuated the music and Raven jumped, clinging to Matías’ hand. Her heart pounded and she glanced around, but no one else seemed alarmed by the sound. Matías squeezed her hand and they stepped into the club proper. An L-shaped bar was doing brisk business with scantily-clad people wearing costumes, some of them a hodgepodge of things a person might have at home, while others were…elaborate. A statuesque woman sauntered past, wearing a shiny black bodysuit and cat ears. A man leaned against the wall, dressed in a woman’s corset, suspenders and stockings—no underwear. Raven found somewhere else to look, except now she noticed nudity she’d skimmed over before. Victor led them through a large archway into what would be the dance floor in another club. A portable stage was roped off in the middle, and three women were suspended by rope like a human chandelier. In another corner, two X-shaped crosses were bathed in red light. Four men prowled around a

man and a woman strapped to the devices, wicked-looking instruments she had no name for in their hands. All around her, colored lights illuminated the most shocking displays of human sexuality she’d ever seen. A couple feet away, a woman was strapped to a table, and two men clipped everyday clothespins to her flesh. In a circle of amber light, a woman was handcuffed to a pole on a go-go dancer’s platform having her bottom spanked. “Raven?” Matías said, his voice low She turned toward him, trying to keep her face neutral, but she could feel the tenseness of her muscles and the corners of her eyes stretched. “What do you think about that?” she asked him in English. “I think this is a very well-operated Fetish Ball. Look.” He pointed to the stations roping off each section and a person poised at the edge of each. “I’m guessing those people control the spaces. I think these are professionals, and people line up to—experience their talents.” He surveyed the room as if this were a commonly acceptable thing. She shifted her weight from foot to foot. The craziest she’d ever gotten was having sex in her boyfriend’s car in a parking lot while people passed nearby. The idea of getting caught had thrilled her at the time. That seemed weak in comparison to what they were watching. She took a deep breath. This wasn’t normal for her, but it could be like watching a performance. She took another deep breath and found her center somewhat. A whip cracked nearby and she jumped, gasping and turning to see what had happened. The woman handcuffed to the post whimpered and danced on one foot, yet she smiled. Why? “Come this way,” Victor said. Matías tugged her into following. Their little party skirted the room to a back corner where a large, circular booth was marked as reserved. Matías sat her on the end, putting himself between her and the Columbians. He draped his arm over the back of her chair and leaned close. “How you doing?” he whispered. The situation was completely different than anything she’d ever been in, and yet, after the immediate shock wore off, she was curious more than anything else. What made people want to do these things? “Fine,” she replied. “I’m going to try to get us out of here.” “I’m okay. Really.” She smiled to prove her point, but he didn’t seem fooled. “Hang in here.” He turned to his other side, arm still safely wrapped around her. She couldn’t hear what the men were saying, and she didn’t need to. This job was way above her pay grade. Left on her own, Raven glanced around the room, mostly watching the crowd. There was an energy about them that was unfettered. Many of them stood, enraptured by the roped-off spaces, some fondling their partners as they watched. Raven took a deep breath and directed her gaze to the closest station. A massage table was set up and a woman poured hot wax over another woman. A man, maybe the second woman’s partner, stood at her side, holding her hand. The professional stared intently at the woman’s breasts as she dribbled wax across her nipples. Raven sucked in air and pulled her free arm across her chest. The woman arched her back and her lips parted on a moan. That didn’t look too bad. Was that kinky? A voice in the back of her mind said she should look away, that watching was wrong. And yet, she couldn’t. The trio grinned at each other. The professional looked as if she were having fun, while the other woman appeared to be enjoying it. Raven continued to watch, fascinated by the display as the couple left and another person took their position on the table.

“It’s play,” Matías whispered. She sucked in a breath, unaware he’d turned his attention back to her. “It doesn’t hurt?” “Depends on what kind of wax she’s using.” “What’s going on?” She bent her head toward him, but was unable to stop watching the professional. “They’re discussing food and when to take us to Columbia. I think they mean this to be a trip that happens now.” “Oh. That’s not what I meant.” She glanced at him and her cheeks warmed. They were here for another purpose than voyeurism. “But that’s good right? They want to show you stuff?” He studied her, his expression so frustratingly blank. “It is good. It’s a step forward in our partnership.” He glanced at the couple and leaned his head a little closer. “As for them, the woman pouring the wax is a Pro-Domme. She’s brought in to provide these experiences. They all are.” “But—why?” He didn’t reply for a few moments. “Because…because some people want to see what it’s like. Others, it satisfies some need inside of them. Either something they were born with that pushes them to test the boundaries with their sexual partners, or it’s something they desire. Maybe they chose this for a reason all their own, but look at them. Do they look like they’re forced into this?” She glanced back at the Pro-Domme and her new subject. This time, the professional smiled and appeared to be flirting with the man, running her hands over his chest and stomach before pouring on the wax. It was sensual, playful. Matías tugged on a lock of her hair. “Do they look like they’re forced into doing this?” He was repeating the question. “No. But, why?” “Let’s talk about it later. Watch them for now.” He stroked her hair and she leaned into the touch. She was trusting him with more than her safety now.



CH A P TER FO U R



By the time Matías closed the door to their hotel room, it felt as if he’d lived a year in the last three hours. Never in his wildest imagination, would he have believed Victor capable of uncovering a decade-old alias Matías had used once for a sting. And not only that—but Raven was caught up in it all. Hadn’t he promised himself he would leave her out of his life to protect her from this very thing? He was all twisted up inside, nerves, dread, desire, the need for connection burning inside of him. It was worse because Raven…he knew her. She was a warm, familiar presence. But he couldn’t tarnish their friendship. She couldn’t understand him, could she? Matías hung back and watched her go straight to the kennel and knelt by the dog, speaking soothing words and letting him out of his cage. “Is now a good time to take him out?” she asked, glancing up at him. “Yes, in a moment.” The room had a cheap radio. He turned it on and flipped it to the AM frequencies, rolling the dial, listening for the perfect spot. The fuzz faded to silence with the occasional crackle. He began moving the radio in a systematic pattern around the room, covering the furniture and any architectural feature that might hide a bug. It wasn’t a foolproof way to detect a listening device, but if there was a microphone transmitting, the radio would squeal. If Victor was using anything state of the art, which he doubted, they were up the creek without a paddle. Raven watched him, but held her tongue until he was finished. “Room’s clean,” he announced, unplugging the radio. “Clean?” “Listening devices. I need to make a quick call, then we can go for that walk and check the perimeter.” Raven stared at him. He wanted to take a moment and calmly explain what was going on, that she would be okay, but he had to check in with Eddie. The job had to come first, before her comfort or assurance. Matías didn’t like it, but getting them through this was the way to protect her. He retreated to the bathroom, turning on the faucets once more for a little added background noise, and put in his call to Eddie. The number rang through to voicemail, which wasn’t unusual in the evenings. “Hey, Martin, I’m not going to be able to make that drop tomorrow. Business has delayed me another day or two. I’ll try you again later.” Easy double-speak for communicating that the operation would be more drawn out than what they expected. Matías blew out a breath and splashed some water on his face. How the hell did he even begin to explain things to Raven?

The best thing, for her, was for him to either ignore or deny Victor’s claims. If he wanted Raven to work with him, he needed her to not fear him. And that meant lying to her. In all the years, he’d been able to be himself with her, which was rare. And now, he’d have to put lies between them. He turned off the faucets and entered the room. Raven sat on the floor, her little dog half draped over her leg. He had to admit, her ability to pull herself together and adjust to the new circumstances was astounding. The punches kept coming, and she just rolled right along. She would break, but it wouldn’t be tonight. “Ready?” “Yup. Come on, let’s go outside. You want to go outside, don’t you?” She clipped the leash onto the doxie’s harness as he wiggled his little body at her. “Give me one second. You should know Victor probably has us under surveillance. Don’t be afraid if there’s a car that follows us or some guys are hanging around. They’re there as much to watch us as protect us. We’re not on the payroll, but Victor sees us as his people now.” He laid the briefcase on the bed and popped the locks. Everything was still where it should be, including his José gun. A FN-57 pistol, it was illegal in the US. Dubbed the “cop killer.” It was a favorite of the Mexican drug cartels—and therefore exactly the kind of weapon José would carry. “Is that necessary?” There was a quiver in Raven’s voice. Fear? Well, she should be afraid. The briefcase went back under the bed, while he tucked the gun in his waistband. “Hopefully not. Let me go first.” Matías nudged her aside and stuck his head out to glance up and down the breezeway. There were two of Victor’s cars, one at each end of the street. Either his thugs weren’t good at their jobs, or Victor wanted them to know they were being watched. Probably both. Regardless, it would provide a modicum of safety for the late-night walk. “Come on.” He reached back and took Raven’s hand. He liked the way it fit in his. He really needed to put a stop to observations like that. Once the door was locked, they strolled hand in hand down the street. It was little more than hardpacked earth littered with trash and debris. The good thing was that they could go in a straight line and never lose sight of the hotel. The place Victor had tried to get them to stay at had been much nicer, but a cheap motel had a lot to offer that the typical guest wouldn’t want. Anonymity, squeaky doors and thin walls could all be used in their favor. “Can we talk now?” Raven whispered. “Probably best if we didn’t.” He kept his hand wrapped around hers, because it was their cover and they had an audience. Not because he’d always wanted to. “It’s a pretty night.” She tipped her head back and gazed up at the stars. There was no breeze to speak of, but it had cooled off enough to be pleasant. A few slow-moving clouds hung low in the sky, but for the most part it was nice. “After I started flying and thought I really knew what I was doing, my dad put me in an old biplane and told me I had to now learn to navigate using nothing but star charts and the position of the sun.” She shook her head. Matías was jealous of the smile tugging at her lips, that he wasn’t the reason they curled upward. It was an unreasonable jealousy, and probably the product of too many sleepless nights. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d had an easy sleep. Not since before the Chicago job at least. “What happened with your dad?” She glanced away once more. When she’d mentioned it before, he’d taken her discomfort to be over the family situation. But was there something else going on?

“He had a disagreement with Hokee and Danny. They made it clear his opinions were not wanted and since they held majority vote, he had no say in what they were doing. He left.” “And didn’t tell you?” “He told me, and gave me the chance to go with him, but I didn’t understand what they were fighting about, and he wouldn’t explain it to me. I think he wanted to protect me in some weird way. But, I wanted to work things out, keep the family together.” “That sounds…never mind.” Selfish. But he couldn’t call her dad selfish to her face. “I know how it sounds, but I get it. If I could go back, I’d have left with him.” She glanced away, but he heard the way her breath shuddered and her fingers trembled slightly against his hand. What was going on at Benally Cargo he didn’t know about? Raven was pointedly not telling him what it was that had broken up the family business, and he wouldn’t pry. It wasn’t his right. She wasn’t his submissive, and he held no power over her. “How many people are watching us?” she asked. “How many do you think?” “The two SUVs are still there. I’m guessing two people in each. Four?” “Good girl.” He squeezed her hand. Hell, he hadn’t even noticed her seeing the cars. “Thanks, I think.” She chuckled and squeezed back. “He’s done now.” Raven let go of his hand and knelt, scooping up the dog’s refuse in a baggie and tying it off. He glanced up and down the street, amused by her tidiness. “You do realize there’s trash and dog crap all over the place, don’t you?” He put his hand on the small of her back as they turned and began strolling toward the hotel once more. “Just because other people make a mess doesn’t mean I have to.” “Point taken.” They fell into silence on their way back to the hotel. She dropped the baggie into a trash barrel out front of the building before they returned to the room. Since they were in for the night, he took the rickety wooden chair from the desk and lodged it under the doorknob as a wedge. It wouldn’t prevent someone from coming through the door, but it might slow them down. He turned around and found Raven watching him, one arm wrapped around her, the other tapping her lip. She wanted answers. He’d known the moment they’d stepped into the club-turned-dungeon that he’d have to give her some kind of explanation. He would rather be honest with her, but that path led to fear and rejection. Matías leaned against the wall and blew out a breath. “I’m going to take a shower. Join me?” Raven asked, yet there was nothing sexy about the way she said it. The lady wanted answers. “I’d like that,” he replied and followed her into the bathroom. She turned on the faucet in the tub while he turned the handle on the sink. “You’re catching on fast,” he said. “I’ve got to.” She shrugged and sat on the edge of the bathtub. That cool, calm mask fractured, and now he could see the worry lining her face. “So?” I’m a kinky-as-fuck Dominant and I’d really like to do things to you that would make you scream. Years of keeping this secret to himself, and in one operation, a single criminal was going to expose Matías’ darkest desires. Good thing he’d already turned in his resignation. Matías blew out a breath. Where did he start? “Like I said earlier, Victor has somehow uncovered an identity I used maybe ten years ago. I’m not sure how. It was a single sting operation, but it was at a BDSM club. I used José, but no last name.” “Wait, so does Victor know…?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Victor thinks he’s uncovered my deep, dark secret. That’s all he knows.” Matías had baited Victor several times over the night without the man showing any sign of knowing anything else. “How did he find out about that secret then?” Matías sighed. “Who knows? Chances are, the guys we—met—that night are still in prison and they hooked up with someone in Victor’s crew.” “Okay, so he thinks you’re into that stuff?” He hated this. Fucking hated it. “Yes, he believes it. We made the cover extremely believable. I spent time preparing for that role so I would come across as authentic.” Lies. All of it lies. Matías was as kinky as a cheap garden hose. He couldn’t live without kink and the control it gave him. “Oh. Wow. Okay.” She pulled her hair over her shoulder and began braiding it, staring at the dirty tile floor. Great. Now she couldn’t even look at him, and she didn’t even know the whole of it. “How much danger are we in? And don’t try to tell me we aren’t.” “I won’t lie to you.” No, he’d already done that. “This is dangerous, but we’ve got backup. You’ve got your phone still, right?” “Yeah.” She didn’t appear very happy about it, but he couldn’t blame her, either. “What are we going to do about pretending to be into kink?” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “We can bluff our way through it. Just keep quiet, follow my lead, and it’ll work out.” “Is it that simple?” No. “It can be. We’ll make it work.” His phone began to vibrate. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen. Amazing. Eddie was still working. “Give me a second, will you?” “Sure.” Raven got up and exited the bathroom quietly. He turned the sink off so it could drain and took a deep breath. There was no way this operation would go down without leaving another black mark on his soul. He’d lied to Raven, for the first time, and that didn’t sit well with him. He couldn’t do this. But he had to see them through whatever came next. Matías spent fifteen minutes or so listening to Eddie’s take on the situation, not that he gave Matías an opening to explain what went down. He was too raw to butt heads, so he just listened. After Eddie was done speaking they, hung up with no new solutions and no plan of action. Matías unbuttoned his shirt and the cuffs, keeping them out of the water, and doused his face. What a nightmare. What was he going to tell Raven? How was he going to explain tonight to her? The truth would lose her, a lie could kill her. He emerged from the bathroom, still at a loss. “Feel better?” Raven sat with her back braced on the bed, legs out in front of her. “Yeah.” He sighed and shrugged out of the shirt, carefully hanging it on the back of the only chair before perching on the foot of the bed. He rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together. Níłch’i interpreted the action as a let me pet you gesture and waddled over to Matías’ feet. “Hey, buddy. Want to listen to the radio?” He scratched the dog’s belly and tweaked his front paw. “Let’s listen to the radio.”

He leaned over and plugged the radio back in, turning it at random to a station playing music. The soft hum filled the need for background noise. “We’re good,” Matías announced. “Well?” Raven blew out a breath. “We follow Victor’s lead.” Where did he begin cluing her into what was going on? He had years of experience with the man and only a few hours to brief her. “It wasn’t until recently we began to suspect who he works for. His organization has always favored secrecy and flying under the radar above doing really big deals.” “But you know who he’s working for.” “Yes.” “You aren’t going to tell me—because it’s safer for me?” “Correct.” He smiled at her, the one bright thing in this whole shit storm. “You always were the smart one.” “What happened to make you want to quit?” Her gaze searched his face, seeing deeper than he’d like. She wasn’t some stranger that he could fool with a smile and a laugh. She knew him. At least in part. For a moment, Matías didn’t speak. He had to weigh all of his words, be ever so careful what he told her, how much she knew, because it could put her life at risk. They’d always been friendly, maybe a little more than that. She’d never asked too many questions, but now, he didn’t know where the line was anymore. Where did he start? The beginning of the end. “I was working with some good people. There was this bad guy that they wanted to catch, someone I’d —worked with as part of a bigger plan.” He glanced at her, catching her eye. Raven nodded. She got what he couldn’t say out loud. He’d been caught on an op gone wrong. “This guy decided he wasn’t okay with just getting out of the business, he wanted to get even. He started harassing my friends, which I expected him to do. One night, I was waiting for him to show up, and he surprised me. Shot me here.” He sat up and gestured to his left side. He could still feel the phantom pain in his abdomen. “Then he stabbed me a couple times in my stomach and left me as a warning.” Raven stared, her mouth gaping open. It wasn’t so bad now, but the scars ran deeper than just a few pink lines on his flesh. “It took a couple of surgeries to put me back together. I’m okay. But, experiences like that—change you. Make you realize the things you haven’t gotten to do, people you want to spend time with, what you’d do differently. So, I figured it was time to retire.” “I’ll say. Oh my God.” She pushed a hand through her hair, a nervous action he’d caught her doing more often. He wanted to take her hands in his, hold them, hold her. “They caught him, though?” “Yeah, while I was still out of it in the hospital.” “Good.” “What about you?” Matías slid to the ground, settling with his legs outstretched toward hers. Níłch’i crawled onto Matías’ lap, offering him the same comfort as her. Animals were better than therapists. “My mom’s pregnant. Again.” Matías’ head jerked up and he stared at her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Again?” “Yeah. She’s back on the reservation, only this time, no one knows who the father is. I think this will be sibling fourteen, unless I’ve missed one. I think she’s in love with being in love, at least until she gets knocked up, at which point, she finds herself out of love and homeless. Pretty sure Gran-gran’s ready to

do something drastic. Mom just up and left the last three at Gran-gran’s.” Raven’s mother was a piece of work, as far as parents went. “Think she’ll keep this one?” “She doesn’t have any business keeping a cat, much less a kid.” Raven shrugged. “She won’t give them up, and most of the dads are just as confused as the kids. It’s shitty.” Matías couldn’t imagine his mom doing something like that. His dad…well, Matías had never known the man, so it was hard to tell. “I think my mother spoiled me on what a mom should be like, you know? I don’t understand people who leave like that.” He leaned his head back, lost in the memories of better days. “Your mom sounds amazing.” “She is. I need to send you some of her peaches.” “Please do. I’d love to try them.” “You’d like her. Hell, she’d like you, too.” Raven smiled, her eyes lighting up. The smallest things made her happy. Being around her didn’t take work, not like other women. He could just…be. But even then, he was lying to her. They had to talk about tonight, and he had to man up. “What did you think of tonight?” Matías asked softly. Her answer could change things forever. “Which part?” She blew out a breath, clearly still flustered, but he’d caught her watching. Recognized the fascinated glint in her eye. Not everyone wanted to be kinky though. He didn’t know where she fell. “The Fetish Ball part.” “That was…different. We don’t have parties like that anywhere near where I live.” “You’d be surprised.” He cleared his throat, the lie already sticking. “Working that gig? I did research. There’s a lot more of them than what you’d realize.” “Really? Huh.” She blinked at him and he could see her rolling the idea around in her head. Part of him wanted her to accept it, to accept him, but he had no business tarnishing something so good with his touch. “I guess… I don’t know, I’d have just imagined people like that would be…scary.” “Not in my experience. The people are nice. There’s a big emphasis on consent, so no one is going to do anything you don’t want them to do. Actually, the people I met could teach the non-kinky people a thing or two about communication.” Shut up. Stop talking. Matías closed his mouth so hard his teeth clicked together. Raven studied his face, her expression unreadable. “You’re…into that, aren’t you?” Fuck. He used to be good at this stuff. The best. Now, he couldn’t spin a single detail straight. He scrubbed his hand over his face. If he said no, she’d know he was lying. If he said yes… “You’re into that stuff, and I said it was scary.” She dropped her head back against the bed. “It was just different.” “It’s scary if you’re unprepared for it. I’d have never walked you in there without a lot of conversation beforehand.” He let his hands fall to his side and stared Raven straight in the eye. The truth was a hard thing to manage when he lived so many lies. “I am into BDSM. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to figure out what’s something I like because it’s part of an alias, or what I like because it’s what I like. Kink, it’s just part of me. The real me. It’s one of the only things I know about myself anymore. I’ve done two missions that touched on going into kink clubs, but I’ve never had to admit to anyone that it’s not an act.”

Raven stared at him, eyes wide, lips parted. Shocked. “It’s not contagious, at least I don’t think it is.” He glanced away, anywhere but at her. The horror would come next, then the fear. “Well, I guess it makes sense why you’d work so well in those situations.” Her voice wavered a bit as she spoke. “So, what’s the plan?” “Look, I think Victor is going to ask me to stay tomorrow. I want you to get out of here. Go home.” Get as far away from him as she could so he wouldn’t have to see the way she refused to meet his eye. How she’d avoid the casual contact she’d embraced before. “How would you explain that to him?” She glanced up now, but it was fleeting. “You’re a pilot. You’ve got work to do. He can respect that.” “I don’t want to leave you.” “Raven, tonight was a test. He wanted to parade my deepest secrets in front of me to prove he can uncover anything. If he digs hard enough, what if he uncovers the truth? About me or you?” “Then you should have a getaway plane ready.” “We didn’t hire you for that, and I don’t want you to get caught up in this if things go sideways.” “Consider it part of the Benally package.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. Raven was remarkable, but…he couldn’t shoulder covering his ass and holding her hand through this. When she really thought things through, when she started to get scared of him—what then? He had to be cruel. He had to push her away now to possibly save her life. “What if…What if it comes to proving to Victor we are in a relationship? He knows I’m into BDSM. Can you handle that? Would you let me spank your ass in front of a crowd? Gag you? Hm?” He hated the shock value of his words, but damn it, she couldn’t brazen her way through this. She blinked at him. “You need to think about that before you make your offer.” Because damn it, he wasn’t a saint. She sat up a little straighter, a wrinkle between her brows. “Then I need to pretend to be—what did you call it? Kinky?” Matías chuckled and picked at the threadbare carpet. Christ. “Babe, there’s no pretending when it comes to BDSM. You’re either kinky or you’re not.” “I could learn to be. Besides, I kind of have to, don’t I? Though Victor might not know the difference.” “He might not.” Matías shoved his hand through his hair. “Look, I appreciate it, but you really don’t understand what you’re offering. And we don’t know if he’s going to go for the shock value of it again.” “So, tell me about it. The kink stuff. I want to understand what it’s like.” “I can’t tell you.” At least not now. “Then show me.” His hands curled around the imaginary handle of a paddle. That was a very dangerous offer. “This isn’t a good idea, Raven. I barely know myself anymore. I don’t want to scare you because I’m…different.” “It’s your only option. You want to catch this guy. You said so yourself. He’s your last job.” Why was he arguing with her over this? He wanted to spank her, to let her taste his desire, and yet, when she did it would be all over. She’d run away from him. But she had one thing right, his options were limited. Matías stood, hands on his hips, and stared her down. “Fine. Then I want you to strip down to your panties and tank top, no bra, and be by the bed in two minutes.” He pushed to his feet and stalked across the room to the door, ensuring it was still locked. What the hell was he doing? Where was his control? Who was he trying to be right now? She wouldn’t do it, even with the concession for modesty. There was no way she’d obey him. José wasn’t into kink. He wasn’t a Dominant. He was a user. He went through women easily and

without discretion. Maybe that’s where he’d gone wrong. He’d staked a claim to Raven. But Victor’s plan had already been formed by then. This whole thing was going to hell in a handbasket and he was strapped in for the ride. It would be okay. There was no way Raven would obey. She was too stubborn and proud to be a submissive. She might talk the talk of wanting to try, for the sake of their cover, but she couldn’t pull it off. Hell, he’d bet she’d be more likely to deck him than submit to him. “So, how are we going to do this?” He whirled around and froze. No fucking way. Raven stood on the other side of the bed, wearing her black tank top and yellow panties. The bra was gone and he could see the gentle slope of her breasts under the fabric. Her legs were long and lean, just like the rest of her. He could all too easily imagine what he’d like to do with those legs. He blinked again and the vision never wavered. She’d really come to him, just as he’d bade her to. Good girl. RAVEN HELD HER CHIN up. There wasn’t anything sane about this day, so why change? Matías had opened the door to a world that made her curious. She could tell herself it was because she owed him, or that he needed her to play a part, but it would be a lie. The uncomfortable truth was that though her brain had tried to tell her what she’d seen was wrong, her body hadn’t listened. As she watched the man and woman at the dungeon, she’d become aroused. It was unexpected and different. Which was exactly why she wanted to try it. And who better than a man already forged of her most wicked dreams? If she couldn’t trust Matías, who could she trust? Besides, when this was over, he’d go on to his new life and she’d never see him again. There wouldn’t be another opportunity to be with him, see this world. She’d be starting a new chapter herself, and maybe…maybe what she needed was something different. There was nothing to lose except fear of the unknown. Matías cleared his throat. “This isn’t a game.” “Then why did you call it playing?” “Because it’s fun. But it’s also not a game. BDSM can be dangerous. It’s not something you should decide to do for the hell of it.” “Why do you do it?” “Because…” He pulled the gun she’d already forgotten about from his waistband and set it on the bedside table. He paced to the opposite wall before turning to face her. “Because I need the control, and…this job, this life, it’s changed me. I’m—physical.” “You mean you’re rough during sex?” The word sex sent a shiver down her spine and her channel clenched. She’d thought about what it might be like to have a man like him in her bed more than a few times. Those fantasies always wound up with Matías’ face. “Yes, and more.” “Do you have those things the man had tonight? A cane?” Matías stalked toward her. “I have a cane, several of them. And paddles. And floggers.” He stopped with scant inches between them. “I have toys that would make you cry and scream.” He was trying to scare her. Well, it wouldn’t work. She tipped her chin up and stared him in the eye. “That sounds like a tall order.” “You don’t understand what you’re dealing with.” His voice dropped an octave and his gaze narrowed. “Then why don’t you explain it.”

“Playing, like what we watched tonight, it leaves marks on the body. Bruises, welts, scratches, and sometimes accidents happen. It’s called risk-aware, consensual kink, because there’s nothing sane about what gets me off. At times, it can be downright dangerous. You barely know me, for all the time we’ve spent together, and you’d let a complete stranger do that to you?” “I know you. I’d know you anywhere, no matter what you call yourself. I’d know you.” She searched the depths of his troubled eyes. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Not really. Besides, you said that sometimes this is all you know of yourself. If that’s the case, then I might already know you better than you know yourself.” He continued to stare at her, revealing nothing of his inner thoughts. She gathered her courage and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Life’s not fun without a few bumps and bruises.” There was no change in Matías’ body language, and yet, he seemed to grow bigger, towering over her in a way that was both intimidating and breathtaking. It was a rare man who could entice softer, more delicate feminine emotions from her, but damn him if he didn’t make her want to sigh and collapse at his feet. He grasped her chin, holding it tightly between his thumb and forefinger. The gesture shocked her and she waited for the sense of indignation to rise up within her breast. And yet, the contact stilled her mind, bringing to her a peace so still, so calm she found herself relaxing. “The first thing you should know is that all play begins with negotiations. You tell me your limits, I tell you mine, and we figure out what it is we want during our session.” “I don’t have any limits yet. You’ll have to set them for me.” He stared at her for a moment. Was that a stupid thing to say? Or should she not be so honest? Matías licked his lips. Was it her imagination, or was there electricity in the air? Almost an audible hum. The hair on her arms rose. She wanted to shiver from it. “You should be careful who you give that kind of permission to,” he said. “Are you not trustworthy?” “I am, but not everyone is.” “Well I’m only concerned with you.” “This isn’t how it’s done.” He sounded more like he was talking to himself, rather than her. She didn’t know the rules like he did, but the one thing she was certain about was that she trusted Matías. One side of his mouth curled upward and he bent his head, briefly touching their foreheads together. He slid his hand from her chin to rest at the nape of her neck and straightened. “Limits. I will not intentionally make you bleed, and I expect the same in return. No marks below the elbows, above the collar bone. That includes the face. I won’t mark your chest, either.” He cleared his throat once more. Did the man need a drink of water? Because she might. “I also will not engage sexually.” “Wait—you mean you don’t do sex?” Her lady parts tingled in protest. She’d just assumed… “Tonight? No.” He flexed his hand on the back of her neck. “Kink brings out many emotions, and sometimes people are not prepared to deal with them, either during or after. If you wake up tomorrow morning and hate me for what I did, I’d rather have not crossed the sexual boundary.” “But what if I wake up tomorrow and I don’t hate you?” “Then we renegotiate. But there’s also the matter of STDs and STIs. When was the last time you were tested?” She had to stop and think about that one. “My last physical was four weeks ago, and I had a test run. Everything was negative, but I can’t exactly prove it,” Matías said. “I can’t tell you the date, but I had one done after my last boyfriend. No unwanted party favors here.” Her cheeks warmed. She could only brazen her way through so much of this conversation. Talking about

intimacy and sex like this wasn’t something she’d even considered until her last boyfriend brought it up. He’d been a sweet, intelligent guy, but they never truly clicked. Matías, on the other hand, she could feel the click in her bones, the moment when he’d grabbed her chin and it just felt—right. “How long ago?” “Uh…six, eight months?” “That’s good to know.” He massaged her neck, pressing his thumb and forefinger into the muscle. His gaze slid from her face to a spot on the carpet. “Any questions?” The lapse in concentration passed and his gaze was back on her, razor sharp as ever. “The women at the club were,” she took a deep breath, “naked. Why did you want me to wear clothes?” “Because you aren’t completely comfortable.” “Oh. Thank you. I think.” She was relieved to not be nude. Not that she had much to be self-conscious about. Her breasts were small and her hips wide. More often than not, she had to buy her jeans to fit her thighs instead of her waist, courtesy of a youth spent laboring either in fields for spare cash or at the airstrip. She didn’t have the slender, rounded curves of other women. She was mostly angles and muscle. Matías took a step back, his hands at his side. “You still think you want to do this?” He might as well have said, I dare you. “I do.” “Sir. You will call me, Sir.” He lifted his hands to his belt buckle and slid the leather tail out of the catch. She watched, fascinated, as he drew it through the loops and pulled it off. “Sir. Right.” “If you forget, I’m going to use the belt on your ass.” He doubled the leather over and gave it a hard snap. Her heart leapt into her throat and her pulse beat in double time. Instinctively, she took a step back. She didn’t know if she should be afraid or excited. The mixture was a heady cocktail, sending her imagination into overdrive. “Do you want to stop?” “No. Sir. No, Sir.” “If you want me to stop at any time, say the word ‘red.’ That will be our safe word for now.” “Red?” “There are people who want to say stop and not have play cease.” “I’m not that person. If I say stop, I want it to stop.” “Then say red.” He took a step toward her. “What if I forget?” Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. “Don’t forget.” One more step and he closed the distance between them. He lifted his arms and brought the belt down behind her, creating a cage of his arms and leather. She held still until the cool, smooth strap came to rest against the lower curve of her bottom. He pulled and she stepped forward, pressing her chest to his. “Are you going to forget?” he whispered. This close she could feel the rise and fall of his ribs, smell the after-dinner mints on his breath and see that little scar on his chin. Her gaze zeroed in on his lips. He seemed so serious all the time. Would he smile for her? “Raven.” His voice was a verbal slap. She jerked her head up, finding his gaze narrowed and directed at her. “What?” He’d asked a question… “Are you going to forget?” He tugged on the belt, forcing her up on her tip toes.

“The safe word? No. It’s red.” “Good. If you say it again I will stop.” He bent his head as if to kiss her, and she held her breath. “Now, go to the desk and put your hands on the edge and keep your feet shoulder-width apart.” He was so close. She could kiss him herself if she just leaned a little bit— Matías straightened and released one side of the belt, freeing her to obey his command. She swayed on her feet, her head spinning. And he hadn’t really touched her. That was skill. Raven pivoted and took the four steps to the desk. It leaned precariously to one side, and at some point, one of the legs had been replaced with a white one instead of brown. She placed her hands on the well-worn surface and widened her stance. It was surreal to think she was in the moment, here and now, about to allow a man to do—whatever it was he wanted—to her. But she’d always liked a good thrill, the surge of adrenaline and the challenge of something new. “You forgot to call me sir,” Matías said.



CH A P TER FI V E



Shit. Raven stared at the cinderblock wall with its chipped paint. She locked her knees against the tremors that threatened to shake her like a leaf. “Five times you forgot, and one time you didn’t respond at all. That’s six swats.” Matías spoke calmly, as if they were discussing flight plans or how much fuel she’d need for the next leg of the trip. Holy cow. This wasn’t a joke. He was serious. A crack sounded just behind her head. She yelped and jumped, surprised by the sudden noise. Was that going to be her ass next time? She dug her nails into the wood and gulped. Maybe this was a mistake. “Before you take your swats, you need a warm up.” Somehow, the prospect didn’t sound any less ominous. She held her breath and braced herself, tensing for the blow. She waited. And waited another moment. But nothing happened. Did she dare look behind her to see what he was doing? Would that incur another swat for disobedience? She blew out a breath and in that moment a hand popped her across the middle of her bottom. She gasped and rose up on the balls of her feet. Holy hell, he’d just spanked her. What was wrong with her? Why was she letting a man do this to her? She blew out a breath and dropped back to her feet. Her shoulders ached from the tension already riding her muscles. Mentally, she shoved the initial confusion aside and took stock of her body. Her bottom stung, it was a bit warm, but mostly it had been the loud noise that surprised her. Having her nerves wound tight didn’t help her knee-jerk reaction, but now, it wasn’t so bad. She had always wanted someone who didn’t treat her like she needed to be handled with kid gloves. Matías ran his fingers over the place he’d struck. She could feel him through the cotton panties, but she wished the barrier wasn’t there. Her head was almost too heavy to hold up, so she let it sag forward. He brushed her hair aside and his breath skated over her skin. A single finger traced her shoulder blade where she’d had a raven tattooed a couple years ago. Her lungs locked up and she froze as he placed a kiss at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. “Remember, this is the warm up.” He didn’t move, didn’t strike her again or so much as breathe on her

skin. Was she supposed to do something? Raven licked her lips. “Yes, Sir.” “Good girl.” Matías patted her bottom. A warmth uncurled in her breast. Something about the way he said those two words made her feel— pride. Another time, she might have gritted her teeth and decked someone for being so condescending, but it was the way he said it. As if she’d done something special, and he approved. Maybe he was even proud of her? Whatever the reason, she wanted to hear him say it again. She wanted to be his good girl. Matías pivoted to stand at her side and wrapped his left arm around her back. His fingers dug into her hip as he pulled her tightly to his side and bent slightly. Oh shit, this was about to get real. He slapped the backs of her thighs in quick succession. Hard blows that had her tossing her head back and crying out at the sudden, bright-hot sting. She leaned away from Matías, but his grip was too tight. He squeezed her tighter to his side and changed his aim. The blows varied from hard to soft, some little more than pats to her skin, but she jerked and yelped despite the reality of pain. Her skin heated, warmed by the ministrations of the man with the rock-hard body and will of iron. She twisted, but his hold on her was too tight, she couldn’t go anywhere. He had her pinned between his body and the desk. But she didn’t actually want to get away. Her body was reacting in a way totally foreign to her. As her skin heated, so did her core. Arousal flooded her veins and the world narrowed to the man at her side—and how he made her feel. If this was wrong, she didn’t want to know. Raven surrendered herself to the sinfully seductive spell he wove. She might question it later, but right now, it felt—good. Matías stopped suddenly. He pivoted again, pressing his front to her back, and pulled her upright until their bodies aligned. One arm wrapped just below her breasts while he stroked her hair away from her face. She sucked in deep breaths and leaned into him, grateful for the respite. “Are you still with me?” he asked. “Yes, Sir.” This time she didn’t have to think, the words were there and ready. He stroked his fingers through the strands clinging to her face, drawing them back over her shoulder. How could he be so rough one moment, then as gentle as a butterfly the next? The difference left her not knowing which to expect, heightening her sensitization. He pressed his lips to her cheek, then her jaw. She squeezed her thighs together, panting for breath. He bent his neck, kissing down the side of her throat. His hand followed, coasting over her chest, rolling his palm over her breast. She gasped as he slowly rubbed the heel of his hand up and down. Even through the ribbed fabric of her tank, it sent sensation shooting down to the apex of her thighs. Why had he said no sex? She’d jump his bones now, given the opportunity, and to hell with his chivalrous thoughts about tomorrow. Her knees grew weak and she sagged against him. “Did you like the marks the man left on his sub tonight?” He continued to kiss her shoulder whilst toying with her nipple. Was he trying to drive her crazy? Had she? At the time, she’d been horrified at first, then fascinated. “I don’t know, Sir.” “I like leaving marks. They remind you of me, even when I’m not there.” He pinched her nipple to the point it became uncomfortable. “Like this, what if I twisted it? Left a bruise? It would swell, and tomorrow, every time you moved your arm, it would chafe against your bra and remind you of me.” She gasped as he worked the flesh back and forth. Raven would like that very much. It was a bit of a shock, but her mind was so numb, so far gone, she couldn’t muddle through the thought much.

“I think I will give you a mark.” She sucked in a breath and held it, arching her back slightly. Her gaze was so wholly unfocused to the point she saw odd patterns in the chipped paint. Matías applied more pressure to her nipple and twisted in earnest, but it wasn’t that which made her scream. Teeth closed around the meaty part of her shoulder. He bit down to the point where she saw white stars in her vision and her whole body buckled under the intensity of it. “Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop,” she chanted—but he didn’t. Raven couldn’t even squirm, didn’t know which hurt to protest against. And yet, at the height of the pain—there was pleasure. She arched her back and groaned, her lungs too empty to support more of a protest. Her legs hardly supported her weight now, he held her in his grasp and at his mercy. The pain abated, but her head still swam on a fuzzy plane of awareness where words escaped her. Her shoulder breast throbbed and her shoulder tingled a bit. She’d feel both beyond just tomorrow. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, mouth next to her ear. Did she? She couldn’t remember now. “No, Sir.” She sagged against him, sucking in deep breaths of air. “What do you say if you want me to stop?” “Red.” “And will I stop if you just say stop?” “No, Sir.” “Good girl. You’re learning.” He pressed another kiss to her temple. Again, the sense of pride rose up in her chest and she smiled. Matías bumped her chin, turning her face toward him. She stared into his brown eyes, mesmerized by the layering of dark browns that seemed almost black. It was as if his soul were held within the orbs of those eyes. There was pain and sorrow in his life, and she’d bet not much joy. Well, perhaps she could give that to him. A little happiness, a little pleasure for a man who gave so much. “I’ll be damned,” he whispered. “Hm?” “Don’t worry about it. You’re doing perfectly.” “Okay. Thank you, Sir.” He chuckled and kissed her brow, lingering there. Damn if she didn’t want him to actually kiss her. “Can you stand?” he asked. “I think so. Sir.” “Okay, put your hands back on the desk.” He eased his hold and she planted her hands on the desk once more. Her shoulder ached, but it was a small thing. She widened her stance and he stepped aside. “Usually, I’d have a bag of toys with a couple paddles, a hairbrush or two, some straps, and I could use any of them to spank you, but we’re a little limited here. I’m not about to use any of the crap in this dive. We’ll have to make do.” “Does that mean you’re going to keep using your hands, Sir?” She could think of other places he could touch. “If you’re a good girl.” She could be very good, for him. Matías didn’t resume his stance at her side. He remained behind her, out of her line of sight. “Pull your hair over your shoulder.” “Like this, Sir?” She did as he asked, gathering it to her left side and resuming her stance. “Good girl.” Did he have any idea what those words did to her? Or was she unique, or maybe just plain weird?

She shifted from foot to foot and felt the first twinge in her shoulder. Maybe he’d bitten her harder than she’d thought? Didn’t matter now, the mark was already there. Something whistled through the air and popped her to the left of her spine, against her shoulder. Raven yelped and jerked her arms up, bowing her spine and freezing as the sting reverberated through her limbs. “That’s going to leave a mark,” Matías said, sounding a little proud of himself. “What the fuck was that? Sir.” “My belt. Hands on the table.” “God damn it,” she muttered, but did as he asked. This time, she braced for the pop, tensing her shoulders and gritting her teeth against the aches. A swat to her ass with the palm of his hand caught her unaware. She jumped and rocked forward on her toes, gasping for breath as he followed it up with several more. Raven thrust her hips back, moaning as the vibrations sank into her pussy. Arousal dampened her panties and her desire grew with each blow. She bent further, wanting his hand to strike her there, if for no other reason than to feel him. His rhythm faltered and he side-stepped. She could see him out of the corner of her eye as he bent and wrapped an arm around her waist. He bit the curve of her ass and she hissed, holding still and gritting her teeth through it. He was biting her bottom. Her bottom! With his teeth. And mouth. On her rear end. The shock of it kept her rooted to the spot as much as anything else. Every time she sat—this was what she’d think about. Her heart threatened to break her ribs and her elbows buckled. She dropped to her forearms on the table, wincing as he twisted the bite slightly. He let go and straightened, turning to face her. She let her head hang forward and sucked in deep breaths. They hadn’t done much, and yet she had almost nothing left to give. He’d taken it all. Matías tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m going to give you your six swats now. I want you to count them out, okay?” She nodded. “I asked you a question.” He tugged in a lock of hair, not hard, but it got her attention. “Yes, Sir.” She pushed up to her hands, her arms shaking. “You can stay like that.” Raven breathed a sigh of relief and settled on her forearms, clasping her hands together and widening her stance. “This is going to hurt,” he warned. “Bring it on, Sir,” she fired back. She’d signed up for this. She’d take what he dished out. Matías chuckled, and she knew she was in trouble. The man was not to be trifled with, that was for sure. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel. Just concentrate on what he did to her, how he touched her. Her skin was warm, some areas throbbed, the bite marks and that welt pulsed the worst—and she liked it. The whistle of leather through the air was all the warning she got. The belt slapped across the bottom portion of her ass, the doubled over end of it wrapping around her hip. She growled through her clenched teeth, squeezing her eyes shut. “One.” “One what?” “One, Sir.” “That’s a good girl.” He passed his hand over the impact zone and the heat of his touch sank into her

bones. She shifted again, wanting him closer, and yet there were five more swats to come. He lifted his hand and grunted. The strap coming down on the upper part of her bottom, just below her tailbone. She felt that one up her spine, and almost straightened as she saw stars. “T-two. Sir.” “What’s wrong?” He placed his hand on her lower back. “N-nothing. Sir. Nothing, Sir.” “Raven, I asked you a question. You will answer me or this will stop now and never happen again.” “It just hurt.” “Hurt how?” “Hurt up my spine.” He pressed his thumb along the mark. As he got closer to the center, she winced. “That was a bad pain. There is some pain that pushes endorphins into our bodies, heightening our awareness and releasing a pleasurable sensation. That was not it. When you feel pain like that, you tell me. That was my fault. I hit too close to your tailbone, which is bad. Okay?” He gently rubbed the place, soothing the hurt with his touch. “Okay.” She breathed a little easier knowing the last blow would not be repeated. “You have four more swats. Think you can handle it?” She took a deep breath and blinked her eyes. Could she? She could. “Yes, Sir.” “That’s my girl.” He stepped back and she closed her eyes. Four more, just four. The leather popped against her bottom, not as hard as the last swat, but plenty hard enough that she dug her nails into her palm and groaned. “Three, Sir.” Matías didn’t pause. The leather whooshed through the air and slapped her once more, harder and lower. She rocked up onto her toes. “Four. Four, Sir.” Two more. Two more. Two more. The fifth blow fell on her left cheek, diagonally. “Five!” she yelped, her spine going straight. “Sir!” The last swat went on her right cheek, mirroring the fifth. She pushed up to her hands, groaning as fire licked up her spin. “Six, Sir.” The belt buckle jangled as it hit the ground. Matías wrapped his arms around her, touching her everywhere at once it seemed. He muttered words to her she could barely make out, and didn’t understand. He bent his knees and picked her up with little more than a grunt. She wasn’t a small woman, but he carried her to the bed and set her down with as much gentleness as a person might use with something truly precious. Matías tugged the blankets down and tucked her under the covers. He kept up a continuous dialogue that she couldn’t hope to follow. If he wanted anymore, Yes, Sirs out of her, oh well. It was beyond her ability. Never in her life would she have thought allowing someone to spank her would be erotic, and now here she was. Turned on, with a hot man in bed with her—and no sex in her future. It was both heaven and hell.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Matías stood by the bed, still floored by Raven’s automatic reaction to not only him, but the play. She was a submissive. Under the ballsy, take-charge attitude, she had a streak in her that wanted to bend. There was no doubt about it. She was vibrant, a touch wild, and incredibly independent, yet under his touch, she’d turned into a different creature. A beautiful, willing woman with limits yet to be discovered. He hadn’t expected that. At most, he’d thought he’d spank her a little, she’d pop off some sarcastic remark and they would have to agree that it never actually happened. But now, everything was different. Some women had an air to them. It didn’t matter if they were meek or fierce, a housewife or a CEO, they wore their submission like a badge. Then there were those you’d never suspect. Women like Raven, whose personalities turned on a dime the moment that door was unlocked. She lay curled up on her side, her lashes making dark crescents against her tanned cheeks. Raven might wake up tomorrow and hate him for unlocking this hidden creature, this part of her he doubted she knew about. Not all people were ready for the truth about their sexual desires, and yet more people never realized them. There was no way to tell what she would think when the sun came up. But it was his job to take care of her tonight. Matías grabbed a bottle of water they’d picked up earlier at a bodega down the street. Among the other supplies he’d been able to grab were toothpaste, a comb, and deodorant. It would have to get them through until tomorrow, and hopefully after another meet with Victor, he could get Raven home. She didn’t belong in this world, most especially now that things with Victor were edging into dangerous territory. He took the water back to the bed and twisted the cap off. “Raven, drink this.” She cracked one eye open, glaring at him. When he’d realized she’d hit subspace, that place where the world stopped turning and all that mattered was the moment between sub and Dom, he’d nearly pissed his pants. It was a state of altered consciousness, where the senses were heightened and emotions sharped. He’d known some people to never achieve it. Not everyone could tap into that mindset, and for her to do it her first time—remarkable. “Drink this or I’ll make you.” She sighed and sat up, wincing as she settled against the headboard and took the bottle. He watched her sip a few times before her thirst kicked in and she gulped down most of the bottle. Her hair was mussed, and no doubt they’d need showers tomorrow, but right now she was beautiful to him in this postplay guise of sensuality and decadence. He wanted her, but the rules he’d laid out meant that tonight, she would go untouched by his hand. Or dick. Or tongue. Christ. He needed to get a grip. This wasn’t about him. It was about her. Matías toed out of his shoes and stripped down to his undershirt and boxers. He wasn’t so much of a gentleman that he’d give her the only bed in the room. It was big enough to share. Besides, he needed to talk to her a little bit, ensure she really was okay. He snagged the comb from their stash and slid into the bed next to her. She set the now-empty bottle on the nightstand and turned to him, her eyes heavy-lidded and sleepy. “Turn around.” He ripped the packing open and pulled out the comb. She did as he requested, crossing her legs with her back toward him. He gathered her hair up so that it fell down her back in a long, glossy cascade. He hadn’t often brushed a woman’s hair, but he knew enough to start at the bottom and began working the tangles and snags out.

“How are you doing?” he asked her. “Fine. Am I still supposed to call you Sir?” “If you like.” “What are you doing now?” “Taking care of you.” “Is that normal?” “Yes. Following any kind of play, there should be aftercare.” “You mean bottled water service?” “Well, you should drink something, but it can be different for everyone.” “How so?” “Well, some people want to be held, others want to be left alone or go sit with friends, maybe sex or food is part of it.” “This happens during negotiations, too? Talking about this, I mean.” “It should.” Drawing the comb through her hair soothed him in a way he hadn’t expected. The dim light from the only lamp in the room cast glossy highlights onto her locks, mesmerizing him. “What do you like to do for aftercare?” Raven asked. The mental image of sheets twisted around naked flesh snapped to the forefront of his mind. His erection was going to be problematic at this rate. He needed daydreams of her naked like he needed a hernia. He pulled the comb through her hair, starting at the crown of her head and going down to the ends. With each stroke he breathed deep, pushing the erotic images from his mind. Tonight was about opening a door, giving her a glimpse inside. It wasn’t about him or his needs. It was all about her. She tipped her head back and her hair seemed to shimmer with hues of blue and black. “Are you going to answer me?” she asked. “Depends on who I’m with.” “That’s not an answer.” “Fine, I like to have sex after play.” “Because it’s hot?” “Because there’s an intimacy to playing I’ve never been able to find anywhere else. It’s like all intentions and pretenses are thrown out the window and we’re left as just ourselves. Nothing else. No lies. Nothing to prove. We are who we are, and that’s it.” Connecting with people was something he didn’t do well. Relationships, even with friends, were fraught with suspicion because he couldn’t turn the field agent part of him off. But there was no room for that when he played. It was just him and his partner. “There. All done.” He placed the comb on the nightstand. There wasn’t a knot or snarl left in her hair now, but it didn’t mean he wanted to stop. Raven turned toward him. She’d pulled herself together, presenting him with that beautifully serene face. For a moment, she studied him, and he couldn’t guess what was in her mind. “I think…I would like to be held,” she said slowly. “Come here.” He scooted down the mattress until he could lay flat. She crawled toward him and curled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder and placing her hand on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close. She didn’t realize the precious gift she’d given him. The submission of any woman was a beautiful thing, but for her to discover that under his hand, it was another experience altogether. He listened to her breathing grow shallow and even as she drifted off to sleep. She even hummed a little, which was odd and cute. Standing in that bathroom an hour ago, he would have never imagined he’d be where he was now, in

bed with a boner and a woman with half a dozen marks on her body. Whatever happened tomorrow, he was responsible for her now. And not just as his pilot. Her mental wellbeing when she woke up and wrapped her brain around the highs and lows he’d pushed her to could very well make her hate him. Or, she could need more guidance as she found herself in the BDSM world. It was one with its own rules and predators. Unlike the weight of responsibility from his work, he would shoulder this with pride. So long as she didn’t hate him.



CH A P TER SI X



Victor adjusted the collar of his shirt, ensuring it laid perfectly so. There was trouble, he could smell it like blood in the water, but he didn’t know where it would come from. After last night, he was reasonably certain he had José in his pocket. The man didn’t have the resources to be a pain in the ass, but he was well connected. A little more pressure and the man would be an asset. A knock at the door disrupted his thoughts. He frowned, having told the goons to leave him alone until the breakfast appointment. It was time to invite José home. To let him see the factory and commit to their team. Soon, he would be able to build a network the likes of which no one had seen before. No more of this piecemeal shit. Fifteen years ago, the whole production—from the farms to the factories, and even distribution—had been one, well-run company. Then, people got scared. They divided things up and costs rose. Well, he was done with that business model. It was time to go back to making money. Someone pounded on his door, rattling its hinges. Victor stalked through the suite and jerked it open, a curse on his lips. Except it died there, while he stared at the sleek, obnoxious face of a mere boy. “Victor, having all the fun without me?” Oscar Jiménez waltzed through the doors, leaving behind Victor’s two guards. The two men stared helplessly at Victor. They were loyal, which meant he wouldn’t kill them. This time. The situation with Oscar had to be handled carefully. The child couldn’t go squealing back to his parents before Victor had a chance to kill the whole family. He was sick of taking orders from a man who wouldn’t even bother to show his face anymore. Señor Jiménez lived off the hard work of people like Victor, reaping the rewards and doing none of the work or taking any of the risk. Well, Victor was done with them. “Not at all. I’m afraid it’s business and no pleasure.” Victor closed the doors and turned toward Oscar. What he wouldn’t give to be able to wring the prick’s neck right now. But that was for later. “I hear you’re interviewing a new asset.” Oscar paused at the windows, wrinkling his nose. This wasn’t the young man’s typical venue. It wasn’t flashy or luxurious enough. Then again, it wasn’t like Oscar did any real work. That was left to people like Victor who knew the business. “I am.” Though Victor’s intentions toward bringing José on weren’t exactly a secret, he hadn’t talked widely about the move. “I’m about to meet him for breakfast and extend an offer for him to visit us.” Oscar turned toward him, gaze narrowed. “I don’t even know this man. Why would we do that?”

Victor gritted his teeth. Soon, he’d cut the kid’s throat himself. “I’ve worked with José for at least ten years. You were too young, then off to university, I believe.” “I don’t like this. Does my father know?” Victor had to choose his words carefully to keep all of his secrets. “He knows I’m looking into new avenues for transporting product.” He shrugged. “It’s business. You’ll get the hang of it, soon.” “Father is in Panama. We should join him, introduce our new friend. Is he here?” Victor imagined sinking a knife into the boy’s throat, slicing deep into the tissue while arterial spray pumped out his last moments. “Yes.” “I’d like to meet him.” Oscar glanced at his watch. “Tell him to dress for breakfast. I’m hungry. I’m in the suite down the hall. You may join us later, if you like.” The young man turned on his heel and strode from the room. Victor watched him, all the while staring daggers at his back. The family was in Panama? It had been years since the Jiménez family had met face to face with anyone, even Victor. Maybe a trip to Panama was exactly what he needed. It would, after all, save him money. He wouldn’t have to pay someone to rat them out. RAVEN ROSE SLOWLY TO consciousness. Her body ached, but in a not altogether bad way. Though her shoulder twinged, she knew it was for a good reason, though she couldn’t remember why. As she became more aware of her body and surroundings, she grew aware of a heavy weight over her waist and across her ankle. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but neither was it Níłch’i. The little dog would lay parallel to her legs, sometimes burrowing under one of them. She pried one eye open and stared at the dingy, blue-green paint chipping from the cinderblock wall. It was not her hangar apartment, with its cheerful yellow-and-white stripes. She was still in Mexico, and that weight holding her down was Matías. The memories from last night came rushing back to her. The biting and spanking, all of it sprang to the forefront of her mind in sharp detail. She dared not move, lest he wake up before she’d had a chance to process everything. What had gotten into her? Matías groaned in his sleep and rolled away from her. She turned, twisting until she could see him in the light coming through the broken shutters. The sheet had been kicked off at some point during the night, and his shirt had ridden up under his arms, giving her the first glimpse of the body she’d felt so intimately. She had vague memories from last night of his chest pressed against her back, the embrace of his arms. His abdominals, even relaxed, were like rungs on a ladder. Thin, pale lines bisected the natural rise and dip of muscle. Scars. Knife wounds? She hated the son of a bitch who’d hurt him. Raven sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She needed to think about her future—today and everything that came after—and she couldn’t do that staring at him. A hand wrapped around her wrist and she jumped. “Something wrong?” Matías mumbled, still half asleep. She glanced over her shoulder. “No, I just need a shower.” And some space. “Okay, let the water run for a minute, make sure it’s okay to use.” He dropped his hand and lay back down without further explanation. Well, they were in Mexico, and lord only knew what would come out of the faucet. Raven stood slowly, her abused muscles protesting. Níłch’i whined in his crate, beating the bottom with his little whip-like tail. She paused to let him out and give the dog a quick scratch before retreating to the bathroom. It was

still early out, but her internal clock said it was time to get up. She turned on the shower and leaned against the vanity. What now? She gripped the edge of the vanity and lifted her gaze to her reflection. There was no discernible difference except… “Holy shit.” She pulled the strap off her left shoulder and gaped at the dark, crescent-shaped bruises forming under the skin. She poked at it and winced. Yup, it was a bruise and it hurt. What about the other marks? She whisked off her tank top and turned around. The welt on her shoulder was just below the black raven, little more than a red mark that was hard to see against the hue of her skin. She pushed her panties off and stared in horror at the long, purple marks and matching crescents decorating her bottom. She poked at the mark that cut diagonally across her right cheek and hissed. It had really happened. She traced the marks, her horror turning to fascination as she prodded each one. Some didn’t hurt as badly as others, but the bruise just below her tailbone was by far the worst. It reminded her of its presence each time she shifted from foot to foot. She couldn’t imagine how it would feel when she sat. What had she been thinking? Raven prodded the bit of unmarred skin between the crescent bite marks on her ass. It still hurt. Deep tissue bruises, if she had to guess. A salt bath might make it feel better, but all she had was the questionable shower. The mirror began to fog, which was probably for the best. It wasn’t like the marks were going to go away. It would be days—weeks—before the evidence of last night was gone. Unlike a one night stand, she couldn’t wash the encounter away. She stepped into the tub and under the spray of water, careful to hold her hair out of the way. The water came out in three irregular jets, probably from shoddy plumbing or blocked holes in the shower head. She didn’t want to think too much about that as she grabbed the soap they’d purchased the night before and lathered up. The pounding water did cause her muscles to ache, but it was a good sensation, almost like a massage in the way it warmed her body and worked her over. Except every now and then, it hit the bruises on her shoulder and back and she winced. Who thought being bruised like this was a good idea? How was she supposed to get everything done for the flight if she couldn’t lift her left arm above her shoulder? She tested the theory, and though the muscles protested, she could get her left arm to go straight up. So that was a little over-exaggerating. She’d be able to do the pre-flight exterior check just fine. It might not be comfortable. But still, why had she thought this was a good idea? The image of the woman twisting in her cuffs, her smile and laugh echoed in Raven’s memory. Because she’d wanted to be that woman, and when Matías had issued his order, she’d been excited and curious and…determined. She had a small set of expectations for what this BDSM thing would be like. It wasn’t as if she had a lot of knowledge to draw on, but Matías had taught her, explained it all, and damn if she hadn’t wanted to do it. To have his hands on her, driving her to feel, and doing naughty things to her body. Though she’d begun her suggestion of continuing the charade out of a sense of obligation, it wasn’t that weighty duty that had pushed her to offer her body to him. That was all on her—and she didn’t regret it. He’d been right when he’d pinched her nipple and told her she’d think about him each time she felt the slight uncomfortable sensation of her marks. She pressed her hand to her breast and jerked it away. The little nub was swollen and no doubt bruised. Was no part of her body her own anymore? Not when she’d given it to him. The way he’d gotten into her head, made her react to him, was shocking. And liberating.

She’d stopped thinking and just felt. He’d told her what to do, how to do it, and all she had to worry about was staying on her feet. There was no denying it had turned her on a great deal. Brief dreams of sweaty bodies twined together had left her restless for most of the night. Even now, the more she thought about him and her response, her sex began to throb with arousal. Raven splashed water on her face and rubbed her eyes. What had he created in her? This wasn’t an experience she could stick in a mental box and stash away in the deep recesses of her brain. He’d changed something in her. It was almost as if she felt—free. A knock shook the bathroom door. “Raven?” “Yeah?” What were the chances she could coax him into the shower? Or was that moving too fast? After last night though, there was more between them than just a job. “Victor called. I have to go meet him. Can I open the door?” “Yeah, come in.” She peered around the curtain as the door opened and Matías stepped in. He was completely dressed. Somehow his clothes were unwrinkled and still managed to look fresh, despite being on their second wear. His hair was a little tousled, but she liked it better than the slickedback ‘do he’d sported the day before. There was nothing of the playful, yet hard-as-stone man from last night. He was all business. “Victor wants me to have breakfast with him. As soon as we’re done, I want to swing by here and pick you up so we can get out of here. Okay?” “Sounds good to me.” “You’ve got your phone on?” “Yeah. It’s on the nightstand.” “Good. If anything happens, call for help, and tell them your name.” “Okay,” she said slowly. What was going on that he wasn’t telling her? “Shit. Food. I’ll bring you back something. Think you can wait?” “I can, but I’ll have to take Níłch’i for a walk.” He sighed. “It can’t wait?” “No, I put the last puppy pad in his crate last night. I wasn’t expecting to be gone this long.” “Okay, okay. Carry the phone with you, don’t go far, and if anything looks fishy, get back to the hotel, got me?” “You’re kind of freaking me out.” “Good. Something’s happening, and I don’t know what. I need you to be on your toes.” “Well, you got your wish.” “It’s probably going to be fine, but I’d rather be prepared.” He grimaced, the first crack in his exterior she’d seen. “I get it. You’ll do amazing. I’ll stay hidden. We’ll be home for dinner.” “Here’s hoping.” He smiled for the briefest moment. His gaze centered on her face, boring into her skull. His voice softened, and for a moment she thought she saw a flash of desire in his eyes. “How are you?” It was the kind of question that cut through everything else. She wouldn’t pretend that he was asking how she was dealing with the situation or if she thought they’d really be home for dinner. No, he wanted to know about last night. She had questions and concerns, but those could wait. “I’m fine,” she replied. “Fine? Fine from a woman means something is wrong.” She laughed. “No, really. For now—I’m fine. Do I want to talk about it later? Yeah, but you need to get to breakfast, and I should get Níłch’i out for a walk soon. Is the bodega off limits?” “I’d rather you not go that far on your own. I have no idea about the area, if Victor might be

encroaching on someone’s turf or who the local power players are. If you go in there and it steps on someone’s toes, it might cause hell.” “Okay, we’ll stay put.” “And later we can talk.” “There’s a whole flight ahead of us.” “Great. I look forward to it.” He crossed the distance to the tub in one stride and brushed his lips across her forehead, and then he was gone. Matías was a man made from shadows, coming and going with ease and secrecy, except he’d given her a key. Now, to find the lock. MATÍAS STRODE THROUGH THE hotel restaurant. It was a good thing he’d packed the tiny bottle of wrinkle spray, or he’d not only feel like he slept in a cheap hotel, he’d look like it, too. The host led him to a small room off the main dining area. The same thugs in suits glanced up, hands going to jacket pockets or their hips. It was a telling sign. All was not well in Victor’s world. Either he was preparing for a fight, or these were not men accustomed to the field. “Gentlemen, good morning.” Matías named each person in his mind, checking them off. Victor was notably missing and there was someone new at the head of the table. “You must be José.” The man at the head of the table rose, and the rest of the men followed. There was a decidedly uneasy air to the group. Whoever he was, he was important. Matías met the man halfway and shook his hand. It was a weak shake, almost like he gripped a wet fish. It was not the handshake of a man who did business with people who carried guns. It wasn’t him they were scared of, so who was behind him? “I’m Oscar Jiménez.” The Jiménez family. Fuck me sideways. “I’m sorry I was unable to join you before today. I only just found out you were in town. Has Victor been a good host?” Oscar gestured to the seat on the right side of the table. The men around them shifted in their seats. They’d been present the evening before. Was Oscar aware of where they’d gone? Did he know Matías’ secrets? “It was an enjoyable evening.” Matías circled to the seat and placed his briefcase on the floor. Maybe he should have left the cash with Raven, but he was paranoid about letting it out of his sight. “Are you traveling alone?” “No, my pilot is with me.” There was something going on. If Oscar was a Jiménez, shouldn’t he know their plans? What Victor was doing? “Your own pilot? That’s good, very good.” “Ah, there is Victor.” Victor entered the dining room, his gaze razor sharp. The other men avoided looking at either of them, and the stress levels rose. Was Oscar the reason for the change? Whatever it was, Matías didn’t like it. A waitress entered with a coffee cart and took their breakfast orders. The conversation was limited to dining options and the weather. Matías hadn’t been part of a more uncomfortable group of people since his last face to face meeting with a room of suits following his surgeries. “Did you get everything arranged?” Oscar asked Victor. “Yes, Mr. Jiménez.” Victor stared at Matías, his demeanor calm. Too calm. What was that supposed to mean? There was always the chance an alias could be found out. To date, Matías had been unmasked as DEA twice. In each instance, there’d been shoddy handling on the agency’s side and his identities hadn’t gone

far enough. José, however, was an alias he’d used for years. Almost a decade. “What have you two been up to?” Oscar asked, directing his command at no one. The men at the table shifted in their seats, not a one offering up any commentary on the previous night’s exploits. “We had dinner. It was nice.” Matías spoke to fill the silence, but also because he didn’t want to allow Oscar Jiménez to single-handedly derail this operation. The waitress returned, interrupting the growing unease. They were each served a generous portion and left with several carafes of coffee and juice. By Matías’ estimation, the hotel knew exactly who they were dealing with. “So, José, Victor thinks you are the next piece to our puzzle. The partner we need to increase our business.” Oscar began cutting his food into pieces. At least they were getting to the heart of the matter. “Did Victor also tell you I am retiring?” Oscar waved his hand, flicking a bit of egg over his shoulder. “After you work for us, you’ll retire more comfortably.” Clearly José’s wishes were moot. He kept his mouth shut and listened. “Unfortunately, we cannot talk business here.” Oscar sighed and leaned back in his chair, hands clasped in front of him. “Then why did Victor bring me here?” Matías’ irritation was both parts feigned and real. All of the drug-types were the same. They jerked you around, made you jump through hoops. It was damn annoying. “Because, before a few months ago, I’d never heard of you. Victor never mentioned José, not even once. And why?” Oscar’s pointedly not looking at Victor made the question more ominous. What trap was Matías caught in? He considered his words carefully before replying. Victor might not be his ally in this situation as he’d assumed, but neither did Matías want to throw the man under the bus. “I would assume that if Victor is doing his job and everything is running smoothly there wouldn’t be a need to mention me. I’ve never caused a problem for you, have I?” “Hm.” Oscar shrugged. “I think not. I think Victor has been keeping you to himself. Such a resourceful contact to have in his pocket when he needs to move product. You’ve been valuable to him. So why not mention his star customer?” “Star customer?” Matías shook his head. “I move a couple thousand kilos, a few times a year. That’s hardly worth mentioning.” He hadn’t touched his food. This exchange had him too nervous to eat. “It’s your resourcefulness we can put to use. It’s getting harder to move product in and out of the States. Yet, you seem to know how.” Shit. He didn’t move it, he delivered it to the DEA, who destroyed it. There was a budget for straight buy busts each year, where the drugs were just trashed. “I have decided we will to go Panama City. There, we can talk business. Victor put in a flight plan for you to take him and yourself there.” Oscar had it all figured out. “Today?” Matías rubbed his chin. On one hand, he needed to get Raven out of this mess. On the other, he couldn’t appear too eager. “I don’t think so.” “What’s not to like? A little sun, some tequila and women.” “I was supposed to deliver the goods yesterday. I’m already a day behind, and now you want me to take a pleasure trip to Panama? This is highly inconvenient. What game are you playing me at, Victor?” He turned to glare at the other man who shrugged, fingers spread. Victor had also not touched his food. “It isn’t a game, José,” Victor said. Of course it was. Victor flew him here to knock him off balance. It wasn’t uncommon to use a new airstrip for a meet, but with the greater plan unfolding, Matías could almost count the rising and falling beats of the story. This breakfast was supposed to knock him off balance, then they could take him to

Panama, where they would closely observe him to see if he was an enemy in disguise—which he was. These tactics were older than Matías. If all he had to worry about was himself, he’d do it. But he had Raven to think about. “We just need a good faith showing, for the others. A day, maybe two. No more,” Oscar said. “I will need to make arrangements. This throws all of my deliveries off.” Matías scowled, pulling out his acting skills. Maybe he could figure out a way to take a commercial flight and allow Raven to go home. Get away from this. Him. He didn’t want Victor anywhere near her. “Of course. Your flight is not until this afternoon. One o’ clock,” Oscar said. One o’ clock? Matías glanced at his watch. It was nearly ten. “If that is the plan, then I must go now. The plane isn’t even prepared.” And with so little time, he might not be able to get a backup plan rolling. He knew without having to ask that his handler and the suits would want him to move forward with this deal. If they knew what was good for them. There was always the chance that something could be amiss back in the States and have everyone in a lock-down tissy. “Fine. Victor will have the car brought around.” Matías took his leave of the assembled puppets. The only people who really mattered in that room were Oscar and Victor. The rest were there to look important and perhaps throw in a line, given permission, which Oscar had not granted. Fuck and double fuck. All Matías wanted to do was leave, fly home and say it was a crap job where nothing had gone right, but the truth was—he was more than capable to handle the challenge. The snag came in the form of a woman with dark hair, a luscious ass and more gumption than five women. What was he going to do with her?



CH A P TER SEV EN



Raven paced the hotel room. From the sound of it, her stomach was about to make a meal of her spleen. Níłch’i was investigating every corner on the off chance he might find something edible and Matías had still not returned. She knew his meeting might take a while, but it didn’t make it any easier to wait. What was worse, she had no way to get back to the airport to make arrangements for a return flight. As the minutes ticked by, her nerves rattled louder and louder until she didn’t know if it was in her head or the door. “Raven, open the door.” The hinges squeaked as Matías pounded against it. She scampered over and pulled the chair out from under the handle. It swung open immediately. So much for the locks keeping anyone out. Matías looked exactly as he had when he left, except there was a tenseness to his face. “We need to go now. Don’t ask questions. I’ll tell you when we get to the plane.” He grabbed the dog crate and held it open. Raven was so caught off guard she couldn’t even form a single question. She nodded and ushered Níłch’i into his crate. Besides the little dog, she hadn’t brought anything with her. He guided her out with one hand pressed to the small of her back and into one of the same SUVs that had carted them around before. No one said a word as they began the drive. Matías took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze, but no more of an answer about their fate. As they went farther, bits of the terrain became familiar. Were they going back to the airport? Why wouldn’t Matías say anything to her? She didn’t dare break the silence, in case it would bring about some sort of horrible catastrophe. They drove for an agonizing half-hour trip back to the airstrip. Every so often, Matías would brush his fingers across her skin or bump her knee with his. Little gestures that broke up her overactive imagination, but were not enough. By the time they unloaded, her teeth were on edge, and every shift and bump in the road made her whole body hurt, especially her tailbone. The hangar was already open and a crew was pulling up to fuel the plane. She tamped down on her irritation. The Cargomaster was her plane. Who the hell was giving orders for it? Raven strode to the door and unlocked it, eyeing the crew on either side. Matías followed her, carrying the dog crate while she climbed up into the plane. He was right behind her, crowding her in and pulling the door mostly shut. “Has the crew cleaned in here?” he asked, glancing around. “No, no one could have gotten in here without the keys.” She twirled them on her finger. What the hell was going on?

“Really?” He held his finger up to his lips and peered around the interior. Did he think someone had broken into her plane, and what? Planted a bug? It was an outlandish thought, until she took into consideration who she was traveling with. “Why don’t we run over to the food truck I saw on our way in? Bring Níłch’I,” he suggested. “I’ve got to stay with the plane while they fuel it up and get a flight plan in.” “Don’t worry about the flight plan.” He glanced out of the door. “Don’t worry about a flight plan?” She stared at him. Had they served him crazy for breakfast? “Yeah, come on. Let’s get something to eat.” Matías nodded toward the door, his eyes large, as if he were trying to communicate without words. Except they were clearly not speaking the same language. He really wanted her to go with him. Was it because she hadn’t eaten since last night? Or was there something else going on? “All right.” She opened the crate and snapped the leash on Níłch’i, who was starting to look a little tired of their transcontinental travel. The dog was well into his senior years. She knew she’d have to give up flying with him soon, but she wasn’t ready for that yet. Matías led the way out of the plane and across the tarmac, toward the security building. A food truck had parked outside the chain link fence and a line of airport staff were waiting for food. “We’re going to Panama City at one o’ clock. It’s already been planned and everything taken care of,” he said, voice pitched low. Raven stared at him, completely clueless. They were going to Panama City? As in, Panama City, Panama? Or Florida? Why? What had happened during breakfast? And what about her? Matías glanced at her. “What?” “Do I get to ask questions?” “Probably better if you didn’t. I met Victor and his boss’ son this morning.” “Why do I take it this isn’t a good thing?” “He’s a…character.” And from the flat tone of his voice, she doubted he was a Mickey Mouse type character. “Something bad is going to happen, but I don’t know what it is and there isn’t time to call Eddie. Victor will be here soon to ride with us to Panama. Can you make that flight?” “I…uh, I’ve never flown that route. Probably. I just, I’m not used to making long hauls.” She wiped her hands on her jeans. She’d studied the maps for hours to make this leg of the journey. She had the ability, but it was her nerves that might give out on her. “Wait…what?” Matías slowed, gawking at her. “I thought you and your dad…” “No, remember? Hokee and Uncle Danny kyboshed that.” “But I thought…you also flew the cargo plane.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t. Only when Hokee or Uncle Danny can’t. I do little hops.” “What are you saying?” Matías stopped and stared at her. “This was my longest flight in that plane.” She pushed her hand through her hair. If she could go back and keep those words to herself, she would. But she couldn’t. “Are you serious?” “Yes. Very serious.” “Shit. Are you licensed to even fly it?” “Of course I am. I helped fly it from the factory home with my father.” “Can you fly to Panama City?” “In theory, yes, but I haven’t. And which Panama City are we going to?” “Fuck me. Panama, Panama City.” Matías scrubbed his hand over his face. “Fine, let’s get some food, and then what do you need?” “I just need to look at my maps. I can do this, I just wish you could have given me more of a heads up.”

“Did Eddie know?” “Know what?” “You didn’t know how to fly a cargo plane?” “Hey.” She grabbed him by the arm, but he was too strong for her to jerk around, so she just held onto him. “I can fucking fly. I’ve logged plenty of hours in that plane, but I thought I should let you know surprising me with a trip to Panama City wasn’t the greatest idea.” “I don’t need surprises right now.” “You don’t?” She laughed and let go of him. “Talk to me when you pull your head out of your ass and realize you aren’t the only one screwed over here.” She stalked ahead of him. The heat radiating up from the pavement had nothing on her anger. They stood in the line, silent, neither looking at each other. Matías could be angry at her all he wanted. She was licensed to fly the cargo plane, and she’d been flying for nearly fifteen years. Going a new route made her nervous. So, what? She was entitled to her emotions, and damn him for only thinking about how it impacted his precious mission. She was caught up in a situation she wanted nothing to do with. She ordered and stepped aside, taking a detour to a bit of grass for Níłch’i. Matías took forever talking with the truck cook. By the time they left, they had three large bags of food. She wondered if it was necessary, but she wasn’t about to strike up conversation. Halfway back to the hangar, Matías sighed and actually looked at her. “Look, I’m sorry I’m being hard on you, but this is a sensitive situation.” “I get it, just try to be a little less of an ass, okay?” He glanced at her and the corners of his mouth curled upward. “Deal. I was out of line. I just… thought… Forget it.” God, why did he have to be so cute when he smiled? He slowed his pace and she matched him. “How are you doing after last night?” “Fine. I have questions, but they can wait.” “I’ll make sure we have decent accommodations, tonight. I know people in Panama at least. It’s a pretty popular place for deals like this. I’m surprised we’re going there, since the DEA has such a big presence there.” “At least I’m getting an education.” She pointed at his bags. “What all did you get?” “Supplies.” He stared straight ahead when he said it. Had she just missed a super spy swap? Was that what he was doing? She wanted to turn around and stare at the truck, see if there was anything special about it, but she didn’t. Anything she did could be a tip off to someone watching them, and as she’d learned that morning, someone was always watching. “Raven?” Matías paused at the foot of the stairs. “Hm?” “Thanks.” Thanks for…? He bent and pressed his lips to hers, stealing her breath and shocking her down to her toes. She’d dreamt about kissing him. It’d been one of her top five fantasies of all time. And now…here he was. He was warm and his mouth moved against hers, teasing. She leaned into the kiss and opened her mouth, drinking him in. Finally! “Don’t let me bother you two love birds.” She jerked away from Matías and stared at the man she’d met yesterday. Victor. It was a show. For Victor. He hadn’t really kissed her to kiss her. It was an act. Part of their cover. God, she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. This slinging back and forth between drastic emotions was tearing her up inside.

Matías stepped in front of her, shielding her with his body. “Here, let me take that for you,” she said, and reached for his bags. Matías handed them over and she scurried up the stairs, casting about for a place to stash whatever he’d picked up, and tried to ignore her bruised ego. It looked like she’d gotten her wish—she was now an unintentional undercover something, and it sucked. Now, if she could just figure out how to get them to Panama City in one piece. MATÍAS STRODE THROUGH THE busy streets, staring through the fashionable shoppers of Panama City, searching for a woman with cinnamon skin and blue-black hair. If he had to be stuck with anyone as his sidekick for this op, he was glad it was Raven. Not only was she quick on her feet and spoke fluent Spanish, he didn’t have to coddle her. Being able to turn her lose in the relatively safe retail area with a list of clothes, supplies and toiletries to purchase was a relief. And yet, every moment she was not by his side made him want to tear through people until he found her. He wanted to be near her, brush his fingers on her arm, her hair whispering across his skin, anything to know she was there. He was fixating on her. She’d become important to him, first over time as a friend, someone he enjoyed being around and now…he didn’t know what they were. What they could be. If they should even be anything. Sure, he knew that the stressors of the job and having only each other to rely on out in the field forged a bond of necessity, but he gravitated toward her. And therein lay the problem. He liked her. More than liked her. It’d been there for ages, simmering just below the surface. He could ignore it when he’d only seen her on occasion. She was a breath of fresh air. Something good. And he wanted to hold onto that. He sure as hell respected her. How many things had he thrown at her? And she’d adapted and moved on. Most women in her situation would have at least had one bout of hysterics. Matías paused on yet another street corner and peered around. Though he’d bought them both new burner phones, the last message he’d received from her had been a warning that the pre-charged battery was dying. Lot of good a dead phone was going to do him. Unfortunately, they couldn’t keep the old phones. The risk of being tracked was too great. Victor would undoubtedly have someone at work to tap their phones, just to keep tabs on them. He strode down the main avenue through the shops. To his right, an archway led into a courtyard with a fountain and a bit of grass. Grass. Fuck. Why hadn’t he thought to look for that sooner? Sitting on the edge of the fountain, surrounded by shopping bags and a deflated wiener dog, was Raven. She’d changed into capris and a T-shirt. At a glance, he might have passed her by. With her hair up in a bun and sunglasses hiding half her face, she blended in well. She waved at him, but made no move to get up. “Any luck?” she asked him as he neared. “Found a place not far from here. How’d your day go?” He stepped over the bags and sat next to her, close enough that his knee touched hers. Sleeping next to her last night had calmed the demons that haunted his dreams and for the first time in months, he’d rested in relative peace. “I think I got everything. Hope you like what I picked out for you.” “I’m sure it’s fine.” She wrinkled her nose and he chuckled. José had to dress with certain flair. It wasn’t how Matías would chose to dress himself, but they weren’t the ones who mattered. Victor—and now Oscar—were the ones they had to continue to convince they weren’t feds, which was proving to be a harder job than Matías

had expected. “Can we go now? Or is there something else we have to do?” She was getting good at being circumspect and vague with her questions, as if she’d been born to be in this life. It made his job easier, but he hoped this didn’t appeal to her. His time on this gig was running out, and then he was done. He glanced around the courtyard, but they were alone save for an elderly couple playing chess. It was a quiet little haven in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. “No tail?” he asked. “They left me a while ago. About forty-five minutes after the phone died.” He didn’t know if that was good or bad. Was there someone else watching her now? He’d lost his as soon as he could. With all the calls he had to make, he couldn’t risk being followed. “Let’s go. There’s a lot to catch you up on.” Matías gathered as many of the bags as he could and Raven got the rest. “How did you carry all this stuff?” “Rented a cart, but had to return it. I was hoping you’d find me and I wouldn’t have to lug it all by myself.” He hailed a cab and stashed the incredible amount of stuff in the trunk. If he had to guess, she’d spent every penny of the five thousand he’d given her from the briefcase. In short order, they were zipping through the streets of the bustling district, toward the condo he’d rented for the week even though he hoped they wouldn’t be in Panama City that long. “Wow.” Raven peered up at the yellow and sea foam green building right on the beach as he retrieved their bags from the trunk and paid the cabbie. A doorman emerged with a luggage cart and helped Matías with the rest of the things. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit the condo wasn’t just to show his potential business partners he was a man of certain tastes. It was also for her. There would be hours spent here, just the two of them and he wanted to put them to good use and be comfortable. They made it up to the fifteenth floor, without losing a single bag. He held his breath as he pushed the double doors inward and moved aside so Raven could have the full impact of the ocean view. She gasped and stepped into their temporary home, Níłch’i cradled in her arms, and did a slow walk around of the living and dining area. He unloaded the bags and tipped the doorman for his service before locking the door. “Like it?” Matías crossed to a laptop he’d left on the coffee table and flipped back through the surveillance camera footage he’d been able to rig up. It gave him a view of the interior of the condo, as well as the hall outside. “This is amazing. And this balcony? It’s huge.” The glass doors whisked open and the sound and smell of the ocean rushed in to meet them. “They had a smaller unit on the thirteenth floor, but that might have been bad luck.” While he might not care about the number of a floor, people like Victor were not only suspicious, but also superstitious. They might back out of a deal if the room had the wrong number or a black cat happened across their path. It was frustrating to play their games. As he neared the beginning of the tape, two figures he recognized strolled down the hall. They were the idiots he’d lost. Not so stupid, if they’d found the condo so soon after he’d rented it. Matías would have to be more careful. The men jiggled the handle, shrugged and stood around talking for a little while, but no other efforts were made to intrude. For now, this space was safe, free of bugs and all theirs. He flopped back on the couch, ready for a shower, food and a change of clothes, not necessarily in that order. After hours of being on, he needed to switch off for a while and recharge. “This does not look like the Marriott.” Raven plopped down on the couch next to him, looking just as tired as he felt.

He grimaced. “The Courtyard Marriott is where all feds stay. This whole fucking trip is to prove we aren’t feds, and they want us to stay at the Marriott, so we can be close to the team that’s flying in tomorrow.” It wasn’t even the first time a screw up like this had happened. He wasn’t going to let anything bad go down. It was his last gig. It wasn’t like the suits could slap him on the wrist for this. Hell, he didn’t even have to be here. He’d been within his right to turn down Victor’s deal and fly home, empty handed. And yet, here he was. He’d worked Victor for years trying to get something out of the man, and of course it came down to Matías’ final hours. “That doesn’t make any sense. If they know using that hotel would blow your cover—why use it?” Raven shook her head and pushed the sunglasses up on her brow. “You, my dear, are smarter than half the suits I work with.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Suits?” “Desk jockeys. The guys who make all the decisions and never step foot in the field.” “Wait, you’re telling me the people you work for haven’t actually been out doing stuff before?” “Nope. There’s two groups in the DEA. The field agents, people like me or the guys doing busts on the streets. Then there’s the suits. The guys who want to work their way up through the ranks to get a nice, big desk. It’s the way things have been since they reorganized ages ago.” “That…doesn’t make sense.” “You’re telling me.” Matías laughed. “The first time I had a suit telling me what to do, I was seventeen. I’d been working for border patrol in El Paso, and some DEA guys were in working on something with the local narc officers. This suit comes over to me and says, ‘Hey kid, we need you to go over there and buy some product.’ Well, over there was rival gang territory. I lived in another gang’s area, and if I went where he wanted me to go, I’d get my ass beat as a lesson, if not killed. I not only told him no, I told him hell no. He got all huffy and demanded the narc officers do it, and they just laughed at him and said no, too.” “Sounds ridiculous.” “It was. And is. I keep thinking things will change, but they don’t.” He sighed. “Is that one of the reasons why you’re getting out?” “It’s part of the reasons.” “I don’t blame you.” He reached across the cushion and took her hand in his. There was a good chance Raven might still decide she resented him for last night, but with each touch, and the kiss earlier, it just continued to feel— right. He’d survived a long time by listening to his instincts. He doubted they were wrong now. He’d kissed her earlier, not because he’d seen Victor, but because he’d wanted to. It was an impulsive decision, one that he couldn’t say he regretted, even if he knew it wasn’t wise. “How are the marks?” He needed to apologize for the kiss, and yet, he didn’t want to. “They hurt. Thanks for that.” Sarcasm dripped from each word, but he didn’t mind because she smiled. “Show me.” She paused and he wondered if she really would. Raven kicked off her sneakers and socks, wiggling her bare toes. Even those were painted yellow. He was seeing a theme when it came to her color choices. She pushed up slowly and tabbed the capris open. “The swats aren’t so bad, but this?” She pushed the pants down around her thighs. She’d even changed panties. Now she wore some kind of soft, white material that was edged in lace and showed off a generous amount of her ass. Raven pointed at the bite marks, which were already a deep purple. “This hurts every time I take a goddamned step, and don’t even talk to me about how much it hurts to sit.” He grinned and poked it. “Ouch!” She twisted and stepped out of range, scowling at him.

“Just wanted to make sure you were telling the truth. Show me the rest.” She continued to glare, but turned, showing him her other marks. The lines from the belt would begin to fade tomorrow, and chances were they didn’t ache much. He leaned closer and she shuffled a half step away. “I’m not going to poke you again, I promise. Come here, please.” She took a step toward him. “How’s your tailbone?” He’d really screwed up there. She was all lean muscle, and he was accustomed to women who had a little more softness to them. “That really hurts.” He didn’t doubt her at all. “I got you some bath salt and arnica gel. It’ll help relieve some of that.” “Arnica gel?” She twisted to peer at him over her shoulder. “It’ll reduce the pain and heal the bruises faster.” “Seriously? Get that shit out right now.” He laughed and hauled himself to his feet. The bag from the drug store still sat on the kitchen counter. He retrieved the box and brought it back to the couch. There was something about caring for his play partner that utterly relaxed him like nothing else could. Matías sat back down on the couch and opened the box. It wasn’t a brand he recognized, but the ingredients were all right. “Do you want me to—” Before he could finish the sentence Raven tugged her panties down, treating him to the first sight of her bare ass. Her jeans hadn’t done her a service. She had a firm, round bottom he wouldn’t mind sinking his teeth into once more. But next time he’d be gentle. He squeezed a little of the gel onto his finger and focused on the bruises below her tailbone. He rubbed the arnica in as much as he could before moving on to the bite mark and slathering it in a light coating. The other marks, he’d leave for her memory. Matías cleared his throat. “All done.” “What about this one?” She wiggled the panties and capris back on before pulling her shirt aside to show him the mark on her shoulder. “I think you’ll live.” “What?” She made a grab for the bottle of gel. He held it out of her grasp. “Hey now, I told you there would be marks—and you said it was okay.” “Yeah, but I didn’t expect it would be this bad.” “Why not? I warned you it would be.” “I thought you were trying to scare me.” “I was.” “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” “Babe, I’m not going to warn you about something I don’t intend on doing.” Her angry pout was pretty cute, especially since he doubted she meant it at all. Raven wasn’t the pouting type, though he didn’t doubt she was beginning to test the bounds of control. What was more remarkable…she likely didn’t even know she was doing it. “Come here.” He sighed and patted his thigh. “You get it this once. If it doesn’t hinder you doing your job, you deal with it. Understand?” Instead of sitting on the couch next to him, like he expected, Raven straddled his lap. Well, hello there. She was unlike any other newbie sub he’d ever met. Had she even paused to doubt what they’d done or consider if she was making the right decisions? Had she thought it through? He was inclined to believe

she had, and was again surprising him with her ability to just keep going. He squeezed a little bit of the gel out onto his finger and she pulled her shirt and bra strap to the side. That wasn’t the last place he’d marked her, but would she show him the others? “What next?” she asked. “We settle in, get some dinner and wait. And talk.” He put the cap back on the tube and set it aside. “About?” “About earlier…” He needed to apologize for the kiss, and yet, he didn’t want to. “Which part?” “The kiss.” “What’s to talk about?” She shrugged. “It was part of the cover.” “Not exactly.” He stared at her, but her expression remained blank. “Then what was it?” “I’m not sure.” Lie. He liked her. Wanted her. “I think…” “I don’t mind that you kissed me.” “You don’t?” “No. I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple. Couples kiss.” “Raven…I didn’t kiss you because of the cover. I kissed you because I wanted to.” Raven’s mouth opened and closed. He seemed to have surprised her. “Oh.” She stared at him, but said nothing further. So much for being honest. He could feel the kernel of interest dying a painful death in his chest. Had he read her wrong last night? “It was inappropriate and I shouldn’t have done it.” He stared at the floor as he said those words. “Wait, why?” “It’s not usually polite to go around kissing random people.” “I’m not exactly a random person. I’m just going to say this.” She leaned forward, hands on his shoulders, and took a deep breath before lifting her gaze to stare at him. “Matías, I’ve had a ridiculous crush on you for a very long time. If you have to apologize about kissing me, then I guess I have to apologize for liking it.” Matías stared at her, staring at him. Was she serious? He thought back to that moment on the tarmac. He’d almost convinced himself she’d tripped into him. That last night was a dream. “Could you please say something and not just stare at me?” “Sorry, I just did not expect you to say that.” He put his hand over hers. “I thought I was being painfully obvious last night.” “I would never presume to assume...” “Never? Really? Is that a normal thing people do in your world?” “Yes, actually.” “Wow, I guess you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.” She leaned forward, her gaze on his mouth. “What if we tried that kiss over again? Sort of start from there.” Kiss her? Again? He could do that. He tugged her hand toward him, enjoying the hard press of her body, the way they fit together. Her gaze was on his mouth. He leaned in, tilted his head a little to the left and set his mouth against her. It was gentle and sweet, yet she gasped after a moment and he couldn’t stop himself from tasting her. Just a little. Desire curled through his body. It wasn’t an unfamiliar emotion, but it was stronger, deeper than he’d felt in a long time. She sat back, her lips damp and her chest rising and falling at an accelerated rate. “I think that was better,” she said. “I tilt left.”

She smiled and he followed suit, completely enamored of her. “Do they have anything planned for tonight?” “No, we’re on our own.” He didn’t know how long they would be in Panama, or where this operation would take him next. What he knew was that tonight, it was just them. “What did you say last night?” She rested her hands on his thighs and leaned forward. “We’d have to renegotiate?” “I did.” His groin tightened, and he clenched his hands to keep from grabbing her, kissing her again. She didn’t know what she was doing. And he needed…a plan. Something. They were dangerously close to tipping over an edge without control. “I want you to go unpack, then take a salt bath. While you do that, I want you to think of five limits for yourself. They can be anything, but you need to establish boundaries or I won’t know where to stop.” He tucked an errant bit of hair behind her ear. “I thought we agreed there was no stopping.” “I wasn’t talking about sex, imp.” “Well, excuse me.” She bit her lower lip. “So how does this work? Do I have to ask permission every time I want to do something.” “Maybe. What do you want to do?” “Kiss you.” “I think you can do that on your own.” “Really, now?” She placed her hands on the back of the sofa and leaned down, her hair falling on either side of him. She leaned toward him. He held still, waiting for her to come to him. She kissed him, gentle at first. He tipped his head to the side and allowed her to set the pace. She cupped his face with one hand and suckled his bottom lip into her mouth. His cock began to grow hard, a reaction he’d experienced a few times being around her. Her teeth closed around his lip, applying the barest pressure, but it was enough to break his restraint. He dug his hand into her hair and deepened the kiss. They tangled together, hands grasping and tongues slipping past the other to tease. Given the opportunity, he’d eat her up. Matías sat up, breaking the kiss. They stared at each other, panting for breath. Her eyes were slightly dilated and her lips swollen. “Go unpack.” He slapped her hip and she yelped, scampering sideways off his lap and holding the spot. Oops. Did he do that? “Not funny,” she groused. “Unpack.” “What are you going to be doing?” She fastened her capris. “You weren’t the only one who went shopping.” Her gaze narrowed, but he wasn’t saying any more. Let her stew on that. It was amazing what interesting things one could find between hardware stores and bargain shops. Besides supplies, he’d done a few side expeditions, looking for interesting…things. He didn’t even need his toy bag.



CH A P TER EI GH T



Raven lay mostly submerged in the huge tub, keeping only her hair and face out of the salt mixture. Despite being physically exhausted, she couldn’t stay still. Matías had kissed her. He’d wanted to kiss her. And she’d kissed him. Among other things. Her energy was pretty much gone after unpacking, taking Níłch’i out for a quick walk, and showering. Not to mention, she was doubtful that another night like last night was a good idea. How many marks would he leave on her then? Someone tapped on the door. She sat upright, water trickling down her body. “It’s me,” Matías called out. “Can I come in?” She opened and closed her mouth. She was naked—but he’d seen most of her already. Hell, she’d pulled her pants down earlier in front of him, and she’d admitted she wanted sex. With him. Which kind of required her to be at least partially exposed. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Sure,” she replied. The door swung open and Matías leaned against the frame. He’d changed from the suit into a pair of basketball shorts and a plain white T-shirt. His gaze traversed her body, and even she could read the lust written there, now that they were being honest with each other. An unusual, rather feminine feeling uncurled within her. She didn’t often have an occasion to feel—sexy—but the way he stared at her, she wanted to give him something to look at. “You almost finished?” he asked. “I could be.” He grabbed a fluffy, white towel that still had the tags on it, and held it out. “Need a hand?” This was it. Whatever he had planned, she knew it would start momentarily. She took a deep breath and uncurled her arms from around her chest. Her nipples were already tightening from the cool air, and her right one throbbed slightly. The gel had taken the edge off ,for the most part, which was nice, but it still ached. She stood and Matías wrapped her in the soft terry cloth, rubbing it over her skin. He helped her out of the tub and guided her to stand on a bath mat, while he gently dried her off. “Did you think about your limits?” he asked. Raven tried not to hold her breath, but it was hard to remember to breathe as he went over every inch of her body. Limits! Limits. Limits. Limits. What had she decided?

“Uh, I think…I don’t want you to put anything else in me.” She squirmed, recalling a few of the porn movies she’d watched and what those women had stuck in their vaginas—and other places. “You’ll have to be more specific. What is okay? How about that?” Heat crawled up her neck, nearly strangling her. “I just—don’t want you putting a cucumber in me.” Matías knelt in front of her, rubbing her legs. He tipped his chin up, his gaze sliding over her body until he met her eyes. “What about my fingers? Or my tongue? Or my cock?” She swallowed hard, finding it hard to concentrate with him staring at her. “T-that’s fine.” “Good. We’ll stick to those.” One side of his mouth hitched up. “Other limits?” “No anal.” “Ever?” “Not now.” Heat crawled up her neck. Did she really just say that? “That’s fair enough. And limits can always be renegotiated.” He kissed her hip gently. “What are your last three?” Her brain was lagging behind. She struggled to recall the other things she’d decided on, but her thoughts kept slipping away. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to do anything gross, like with food or—other stuff.” Her knowledge of kink was extremely limited, but even she knew there were extreme fetishes out there. “How about this? No food or bodily fluids? That’s pretty standard for a lot of people.” He stood and wrapped the towel around her, giving her one last stroke. She breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, that.” “And?” “And no pictures.” He nodded as if he approved. “Last one.” “I don’t want to be blindfolded.” “Really?” She nodded and he shrugged. “Okay, then. I can respect that. Does that include keeping your eyes shut if I ask you to?” There wasn’t much difference between being blindfolded and shutting her eyes, but it mattered. She would still have the ability to open them if she didn’t like what was going on. “No, closing my eyes is fine.” “Good.” He hung the towel on a peg and came back to her, taking both her hands in his. It was strange, but being naked around him wasn’t as awkward as she’d expected. Maybe because he looked at her body, but didn’t act like being nude was out of the ordinary. It opened the door for her to feel—comfortable. Or as comfortable as she could be with the knowledge that tonight he would do things to her no man had ever done before. “One more thing,” she blurted. “Hm?” “Is tonight going to be like last night?” “Yes, and no. We’re doing something different.” “I mean, because these marks are fine and all, but I’d rather not be totally bruised from head to foot.” “I doubt you’ll be bruised anywhere tonight.” Matías chuckled. Well, that sounded promising. “Are you ready?” he asked. “Yup.” She doubted she could ever be truly ready for Matías. He released her hands and cupped her face. She held her breath as he leaned in and set his mouth on hers. He was gentle as he suckled her lower lip between his, much as she’d done to him. She leaned into him, placing her hands on his chest and surrendered to him. More kissing.

Matías broke the kiss and took a step back, hand extended toward her. She took it and he led her into the bedroom. The plain cream and beige room had been transformed. Candles rested on every surface, giving the space a surreal glow, and the wall of curtains were drawn aside. Stars were beginning to come out, dotting the fading sky with pinpricks of light. “Lay down here.” She tore her gaze from the window and glanced down. A tarp covered by a bed sheet lay in the middle of the open space at the foot of the mattress. From the lumps under the tarp, she guessed he’d lined up pillows for her comfort. How thoughtful. One night he bruised her ass so bad she could barely sit, the next he made her a pallet. He guided her to lay on her stomach, head toward the windows and facing the bathroom door. “Now, don’t move, or you won’t like the consequences.” She shivered, remembering all too well the price she’d paid. “Okay. Sir.” She didn’t doubt him one bit. If she could avoid anything like last night, she would. Matías left her lying there and moved around the room. She heard him shuffling things and glass clinked together. He went back into the bathroom and got a few towels. What was he planning? Since their negotiation earlier, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about sex. With Matías. Knowing what was coming was maybe worse than wondering. Instead of keeping her feet grounded, she’d been cooking up scenarios, thinking about his body, him, what it might feel like. He would be different from her other lovers, she just knew it. Raven had the unfortunate knack for attracting sweet boys who couldn’t express an opinion when asked. The idea that Matías would be in complete control of himself, the situation, and her body—well, her sex throbbed to the point it was uncomfortable. She shifted on her make-shift bed, thighs pressed together. The dampness between her legs had nothing to do with her bath. After several minutes of being left to wait, Matías knelt by her right side, which was also the side she couldn’t see. “Not all play hurts. Some of it is pleasurable,” he said as he settled. “That’s good to know.” She peered around her, careful to not move, but searching for some reflective surface she might be able to glimpse him in. All she saw were candles. Liquid warmth dribbled onto her spine, just below her shoulder blades. The sudden touch had her gasping as whatever it was trickled down her back. “Too hot?” he asked. Was it too hot? She wiggled her shoulders and blew out a breath. It was actually…nice. “No, Sir, just surprised me,” she replied. He chuckled and this time, when drops fell on her skin, she didn’t cry out. Her initial guess that he was pouring a liquid on her was wrong. The little hairs on her skin pulled, as if they were caught in something as the suspect liquid stopped moving. In fact, it seemed to be drying. The dribble became a stream as Matías poured more of the stuff crossways along her lower back. It was warm, pleasantly so, heating her body and muscles. She might have been lured into sleep, had the sensations not seeped into her pussy, increasing the arousal already coursing through her veins. “Do you know what it is yet?” he asked. “No idea,” she mumbled. She heard a thunk, as if he were setting a glass object down on the tile floor. Raven glanced at a low bench running along the window. It was lined with tall, white candles—in glass.

“Wax?” she asked. “Good girl.” He poured more of the stuff over her shoulders, except this time it was uncomfortably warm. She hissed and shifted a little. “What? Don’t like that?” “It’s kind of hot.” “Hot as in, you’re being turned on? Or hot as in it burns?” “It doesn’t quite burn, but it’s okay now.” Given a moment, the wax cooled, but the trail he blazed across her skin had her squirming. “Well, it’s going to get hotter. With wax, it’s all about the paraffin content. Pure paraffin candles are cool, because they have a lower melting point. But, lessen the paraffin content and the wax becomes hotter.” He set one candle down, she could tell from the clink on the tile. She had a bad feeling about where this explanation was going. If she’d thought the first bit of wax was liquid heat—she’d been wrong. Matías poured something on her shoulder blade that made her gasp and attempt to shove up off the ground, except the moment she moved, he planted a hand on the back of her neck and held her there. “It’s too hot,” she said between panting breaths. “No, it’s not.” “It is!” “You just think it’s too hot.” She squirmed a little as the wax cooled to room temperature and hardened. “That wasn’t even the hottest one.” He released her neck and placed the hand in front of her face, palm to the ground. She sensed his presence at her back before she felt his breath fan against her neck. His teeth closed around the juncture of neck and shoulder, sucking the bit of flesh for a second, rolling his tongue over it. Her lungs stopped working, waiting for the pain, but it never came. He released her and pressed a quick kiss to the spot. “I think it’s time you turned over,” he said. Part of her wanted to see what he was doing, while the other part was checked out. Her rational brain was pointing out she’d just bathed—and now had wax all over her. That was not a voice she was interested in listening to. Later, she’d worry about the mess. For now, she was Matías’ plaything. For all the time she’d spent day dreaming about this, her fantasies had nothing on reality. Not one bit. Raven sucked down a deep breath and turned over, allowing Matías to position her on the little pallet. He had a collection of tall and short pillar candles next to him. Some of the wax had burned so long it was clear, while on others, the top portion was opaque. He brushed his hand down her sternum, not touching her breasts. She ached for him to touch her there, but instead he reached for another candle and held it over her chest. She stared at his hand wrapped around the girth of it, wondering which kind of candle this was. A hot one? Or a cooler one? Matías’ gaze rose to her face, capturing hers. Her mind quietened in that moment, and he slowly tipped the candle forward. A steady stream of wax dripped down between her breasts. She gasped and arched her back. It was warm, not exactly hot, but for the first brief second, it felt as though the wax were burning through her body. He drew the candle down toward her stomach, upending it until all the melted wax was gone and the flame lengthened, eating up the newly exposed wick. She sucked in air and slowly eased her spine down to the pallet. The wax adhered to her back crumbled and cracked. “Too hot?” he asked. She shook her head. “No, Sir.” “Good girl.” He picked up another candle, this one mostly melted down to the bottom. What did that mean?

“Try to stay flat now, okay?” “Yes, Sir.” He brought the candle to her chest, hovering over her left breast. She bit her lip and watched as he slowly let a little wax trickle over the edge onto her areola. This time she squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands, expecting that same lick of heat. Except this time it was a warm, soothing sensation. She blew out her breath and relaxed, opening her eyes. Matías leaned over her, a smile on his face. He was truly handsome when he smiled and the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkled. He could seem so fierce, and yet, now, she’d call him kind, if it weren’t for what they were doing. He set the candle down and planted his hands on either side of her head, their faces inches apart. He stared into her eyes as if searching for something. There was only one secret she had to keep, the rest she’d give to him if he asked. Matías kissed her, pressing her down into the pillows, the tarp crinkling around them. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and she moaned, her lower body clenching once more. His fingers wrapped around her abused nipple and tugged. She gasped, whimpering and squeezing her eyes shut. It ached—and yet, it was as if he had a direct line to her pussy. He scooted down her body, to her stomach and nipped the skin just below her ribcage. What was it with him and biting? And why did she want to bite him back? Raven grabbed his bicep and dug her nails in as he bit her side, this time sinking his teeth in to the point she cringed. He groaned the tighter she held on and increased the pressure slightly. It was as if they were in a game of primal chicken, waiting to see how much the other would take. She gave first, uncurling her hand and nails from the deep gouges she’d dug. Matías sat up, breathing through his mouth. There was a wild glint to his eye, as though he weren’t entirely human. He snatched up one of the pillars and poured the contents on her stomach in one splash of hot wax, while shielding her mound with his other hand. She squealed as it rolled over the new bite marks, making the sensitized flesh seem to burn for a moment. He straddled her thighs, stroking his fingers over her pubic hair. “Most women these days shave this off,” he commented. “Fuck other women,” she said on reflex. Her thoughts were still muddied while she breathed through the onslaught of sensation. Not to mention, her focus was now centered decidedly lower. “I like that about you.” Matías chuckled. “You don’t seem to care about what’s normal, how people should react, you’re just—you. I envy that a bit.” Her eyes began to grow unfocused, her lids heavy as the salt bath and pleasant warmth wove their spell. “Oh, no, no, no. I know it feels good, but don’t fall asleep on me now.” Matías lowered to his elbows and grabbed something else from his stash. He flicked his wrist, and a silver straight razor, the kind men used for shaving, swung out of its case. She gulped and stared at the blade. “What’s that for?” “Fun.” He set the blunt side against her stomach and pressed it into the wax, drawing swirling lines and circles. Little flakes, like snow, gathered on the surface. He reached out and grasped a shorter candle and poured it slowly over the design. Raven grit her teeth at the heat that radiated down through the top layer of wax to the rest. “Wakey, wakey.” He set the flickering candle to the side and took up another. This one, he poured over her other breast. Glancing down her body, it was odd to see it encased in a shell of wax. Again, he took up the knife and

lay next to her, carving a design on her chest. At first, she held her breath, fearful that if she moved too much, he might cut her. However, the moments ticked by and never once did he come close to cutting her. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Doodling.” He blew a breath across her chest and the little white flakes scattered. “I’m disappointed they didn’t have colored wax. Then I could do something really amazing.” She tried to imagine what it might look like to be entirely covered in wax and designs done in color. Without warning, he picked up another candle and poured more on her chest. A little splattered up onto her neck and she gasped, her lungs freezing with the shock of it. The wax was hotter, maybe the hottest yet, and the thin barrier offered little protection. In fact, she was pretty sure the new wax melted the old. “Oh holy shit,” she said when she could draw a breath again. He bent close, intent on the pattern, indifferent to the plight her body was in. There was no respite from him or this. The heat inside of her built, matching that of the wax, and surpassing it. She could feel each pass of the blade, every teasing touch down to her bones. He continued the process, carving a little, adding more wax and moving around her, as if she were his sculpture, a fine work of art he created. Instead of feeling objectified, she was humbled and honored to be the focal point. Once the candles he’d gathered were exhausted and nothing more than wicks in empty glass, he lay down next to her on his side, arm curled under his head. It was the first time he’d actually looked at her since they began. The wax was poured in such a way that it covered her chest, ribs and stomach, but left her nipples free. The little bit of wax he’d poured on them had long since flaked off. She breathed in shallow breaths, so as not to crack or disturb the artwork he’d made of her body. “You’re beautiful,” he said into the silence. She glanced down at what she could see. “I bet it is.” “No, I mean you. You’re beautiful.” She let her head drop back to the pillow and stared up at him. Her? “Thank you, Sir.” Beautiful wasn’t something she would call herself. Her cheekbones were too high, her shoulders were like a linebacker’s and she was all muscle, no curves. But she wasn’t about to turn down the compliment, because when Matías looked at her as he did now, she felt beautiful. If only to him. And it was enough. He reached over and rubbed his finger over the tip of her breast. The nipple tightened as the sensation soared through her body. Every little thing he did seemed to push her farther up the mountain of desire. Could she want someone more than she wanted him now? She bit her lip and let her eyes close. The sense of anticipation was past the enjoyable stage. Now, she just wanted to fuck him. He let go of her breast and she braced for him to touch the other. Instead, his lips wrapped around the same hard nub and he flicked his tongue over it. Raven groaned and grabbed a handful of the sheet to keep from moving. It was almost too much. He pinched her other breast and she cried out, too sensitized and aroused for more than a light touch. “Sh, sh, sh.” Matías rested his hand on her throat. Just the weight of his touch centered her. He sat up and pulled out the straight razor once more. Though he’d only used the blunt side, the thing still made her nervous. He flicked it open with the ease of someone who was used to handling it and brought the business end of the blade to rest just above her navel. “Might want to hold real still for this…” he said. Raven held her breath as he gently began to shave the wax off in a long, uninterrupted strip. She could feel the whisper of the blade as it coasted along her skin, never slicing her. He cut the end of it just below

her breasts and held it up. She blew out her breath and stared. Matías tossed the wax aside and began another section, next to the one he’d just taken off. It was a curious sensation, having the wax literally shaved from her body. It tugged on the little hairs and pulled at her. It also left her skin much more sensitive. As she relaxed into the act, she found it was even kind of pleasurable. If she didn’t think too much about a knife in her lover’s hand. She closed her eyes as he began working on the area between her breasts. He blew the little bits away, causing her to shiver. Her breasts were heavy—there was no other word for it. She wanted him to touch them, toy with them as he had. She didn’t even mind the rough treatment anymore. Matías bit the underside of her left breast once it was free from wax. Her spine came up off the pallet and she squealed, digging her hands into his hair and twisting them around the strands. He straddled her waist and shook off her hold. He flicked the razor closed and dropped it. That feral glint was in his gaze once more. He set his nails against the wax-free area above her nipples and pushed his nails under the hard surface, scratching her skin and forcing the exoskeleton from her body. She gasped and her eyes rolled back into her head as he dragged his nails up and down, side to side over her chest, knocking the debris from her and scoring her sensitive flesh. He scooted down her body, and did the same on her ribs, stomach and lower abdomen. She could feel the individual nail tracks in her skin, as if he’d branded her. He was rough, digging his fingers into her and even physically moving her whole body on his mission to rid her of the wax. Lower and lower he went, until he was at her hips and thighs. Matías dug his fingers between her thighs and pried them open, planting one, then two knees between hers as he opened her to him. Her heart pounded as she realized just what he was doing, but by then, Matías was lowering himself between her legs, shifting them to lie over his shoulders. They’d talked sex, not—this. She grabbed a handful of the sheet and stared at the ceiling as panic froze her muscles. He palmed her mound and the next thing she felt was his breath against her core. She gasped as he rubbed the flat of his tongue against her clit. It was as if her whole world stopped, suspended in that one moment. “Oh.” She groaned and stared at the ceiling, all logical thought thrown out the window as she soared higher and higher. It was—amazing. Unlike anything she’d ever felt before. He kept up the steady rhythm, back and forth, a little circular motion and her lungs stopped working. She dug her fingers into the sheet and moaned. He increased the pressure and she panted, helpless sounds spilling from her lips. Níłch’i whined from the living room in reply, but she couldn’t even spare a thought for her dog, much less herself. In one blessed moment, she went soaring off the mountain Matías had pushed her to scale and bliss enveloped her body. Her orgasm flew through her body, making her light as a feather. She blinked up as her mind began to return to her, only to find Matías looming over her. He had a box in his hand and ripped it open. Familiar square packets that were the same in just about any country spilled out into his hand. He took one and let the rest fall to the ground. His gaze pinned her to the spot as he ripped the package open just a bit and tossed it onto the bed. He’d get no arguments from her. She still craved to feel him inside of her. Matías grabbed her around the waist and her arm, hauling her upright. Her head swam, still adrift on a sea of endorphins. He guided her to the platform bed. She didn’t need to be told this would be no easy lovemaking. There was a primal energy to the way Matías moved and touched her. She crawled onto the bed, but he stopped her when she was at the foot of the mattress on her hands and knees. She glanced over her shoulder as he pushed his shorts down, the thin cotton shirt still on. No underwear. Then again—he hadn’t told her to buy any. He grabbed the condom and stared at it for a second, as if he weren’t sure how it worked, but that was silly. “Put it on.” He tossed it at her.

Raven scrambled to catch the packet and pulled the latex free. It had been a while since she’d done this for a lover. Matías stroked his cock, hips thrust forward. She bit her lower lip and reached for him, pushing his hand aside. His skin was smooth to the touch, and hot. She didn’t dare waste a moment appreciating his length or girth. Raven rolled the condom on, keeping the tip pinched between her fingers. No sooner had she rolled it to the base of his cock than he grabbed her shoulder and urged her back onto her knees. She braced herself, grabbing handfuls of the comforter as he grasped her hips. There was a mirror mounted above the bed. She couldn’t see much of herself, but that was okay. It was Matías she wanted to watch. He had his cock in one hand, while the other thrust deep into her pussy. She gasped and tightened her grip on the sheets as he pumped her. His fingers were replaced by the thick, blunt head of his cock as he passed it through her folds. She sucked in a deep breath and willed her gaze to remain on him. He was big, probably bigger than her last boyfriend. He pressed into her body, a little at a time, allowing her to adjust. Her orgasm-slick body stretched, accommodating his girth, but she felt every bit of the intrusion. His nails scraped over her skin as he dug his fingers in at her hips. He withdrew and thrust, sinking completely into her. She felt the press of his balls to her mound and the front of his thighs against hers. In the mirror, he bent slightly over her, frozen in this first moment of joined bodies and lust. The only thing wrong with the picture was the shirt he insisted on wearing. Matías pulled almost completely out of her before plunging back in. His deep thrust stroked the length of her channel. Her toes curled and she groaned as he did it again and again. He grunted as their bodies joined and flesh slapped against flesh. With each thrust, he scooted her further up the bed. She dropped to her forearms, changing the angle and getting a better grip on the sheets. He was no gentle lover. From this angle, all she could see of him in the mirror now was his shoulders and face. He glanced up and their gazes locked in the reflection. He grasped the clip holding her hair up and tossed it aside, spilling her wet locks on the bed. He grabbed a handful and hauled her upright, on her knees, his cock still lodged inside of her. He kept one hand at her hip, and the other in her hair, bending her backward. He increased his pace, fucking her from behind, yet with the added intimacy of staring into her eyes. She felt naughty, sexy, and desirable, just from the way he looked at her. The hand at her hip slid around to her mound, through her curls to press against her clit. She shuddered and reached around to hold onto him, needing to cling to something as he stroked her. Raven felt as if she were going to fracture into a thousand pieces. She dug her nails into him, clinging as tightly as she could, needing him to anchor her. He shoved deep, and she came, screaming her release, spurred on by Matías placing his teeth on her neck—but the expected bite never came. He thrust several times, rough, uneven and jerky before grunting his release. He wrapped his arms around her, his face buried against her neck as they panted for breath. Somehow, he’d become part of her. That was a frightening thing when Matías was a man who barely knew himself. Seemed it was a contagious situation. Two days with him and she no longer knew the woman in the mirror, but she liked her and hoped she planned to stay.



CH A P TER N I N E



Matías entered the condo, careful to close the door as quietly as he could before setting Níłch’i down. The little dog had character by the buckets, but his age was starting to show in the white on his muzzle and failing energy. They’d only gone on a short walk to take care of business and the doxie had sat down on the grass and refused to budge. Was this something he should tell Raven about? Did she know? How would she handle the news of her little friend not doing so well? It was strange to be so wrapped up in another person. Even those few people he considered friends didn’t touch him this deeply. For the first time in over a year, he’d slept without nightmares, only waking up a few times to listen for unfamiliar noises. “Oh my God, where have you been?” Raven emerged from the bedroom, arms wrapped around herself, wearing a fluffy white robe. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her eyes were wide with alarm. Níłch’i plopped his butt down on the rug and sat there, looking extra pitiful. She stopped at the edge of the rug, hands on her hips, and glared at the dog. “You lazy mutt. You made him carry you, didn’t you?” “Uh…” Matías glanced between her and Níłch’i. “You carried him!” She pointed at Matías. “I thought something was wrong.” “Nothing is wrong, he’s just lazy in the morning.” Raven knelt and scooped Níłch’i up in her arms, scratching the dog’s belly as he grunted and stared up at her with adoration. “Well, damn, he had me fooled.” He glared at Níłch’i, but couldn’t be too upset. “Why didn’t you leave me a note or something? I was worried.” She slung Níłch’i over her shoulder, directing her disapproval at Matías now. “I thought you would call me if you woke up.” Matías pulled out his burner phone. Raven slapped her hand to her face. “Oh my God, the cell phones. Shit. I totally forgot. I just woke up and you weren’t here and…” She sighed. “Sorry.” “It’s okay.” He flipped the locks on the front door and hooked the leash over the knobs. “I think I’m going to crawl back in bed.” Raven leaned her head against Níłch’i’s back and smiled, her eyelids drooping a little. Between the stress this job was putting on her and two nights of play, it was a wonder she was even awake at all. “Hungry?” He shook the paper bag he’d procured at a bakery down the street at her. “Yes, please. Patio?”

“Sure, let me just make some coffee.” He gave her the bag and passed through the kitchen, using the off-brand pod coffee machine to brew two cups. Raven was already curled up in a wicker armchair, staring out at the rising sun. The morning light streaked the sky in pinks, oranges and yellows over the ocean view. Matías served up the pan dulce, or sweet bread, on napkins. It felt so natural and easy, being with her like this. He’d been half afraid to wake up and find things had changed between them after having sex. For him, it had been—great. Wonderful. Amazing. For the first time in years, the woman he was with knew all the important things about him. The real him. What he did, why it was important, who he really was. He didn’t have to worry that she was seeing him as someone else, because Raven had only known the real him. They ate in silence for several minutes, the only sounds that of the seagulls and waves hitting the shore. “I haven’t heard from Victor yet, but I suppose we will soon. There was some talk about getting together tonight. If you wanted to go home I could arrange it. It’d probably be better for you. Safer.” “I’m not leaving you on your own.” He wasn’t sure if he should be this relieved about that answer. She was a distraction, something else for him to worry about, and yet…she eased his mind. Calmed him. He couldn’t imagine getting through this without her. Was it the sex? The play? Or was this real? “How do you feel? After last night, I mean?” he asked. Raven glanced at him, her brows raised. “You like to talk about stuff more than any girl I know.” She bit off a bite of the pastry. He snorted. “It’s part of being a good Dominant.” “Really? This is normal?” “Yeah, so suck it up, princess.” “Huh. I’m not used to guys wanting to talk about their—performance.” She nibbled on a bit of bread, staring off at the horizon. He let her gather her thoughts, not rushing her. “I’m okay. Thanks for putting that gel stuff on again last night. I think it took care of those burn marks.” “Good. It’s one of the dangers of wax play.” They’d been so tired that after he cleaned her up and tidied up the room he’d barely had energy to apply some of the arnica to her worst spots before passing out, holding her tight. “What are you thinking?” Raven’s lips were compressed and one side of her mouth hitched higher. It was a peculiar look, as if she wanted to say something but didn’t know how. She glanced at him as she sipped her coffee, stalling. Well, he could wait her out all day, if need be. “This is going to sound silly.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” “Does it…bother you that I don’t, well, shave everything down there?” He blinked at her. “Does it bother you that I don’t, either?” “What? No.” Her face scrunched up as if he’d just asked her the silliest question ever. “Then why should I care? It’s your body. If you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.” “Really?” “Yeah.” What kind of assholes had she been with that cared about her pubic hairdo? Bare, landing strip or natural, it didn’t matter. Hell, he’d actually liked her neatly-trimmed mound. It went against the popular trend, but Raven wasn’t exactly one to follow the crowd. “Oh, well, okay.” She tilted her head to the side, her mouth soft once more, the corners slightly upturned. “Can I ask you a personal question?” “I don’t know. Can you?”

She mock glared at him. “Fine. May I ask you a personal question?” “Sure.” He shifted in his seat. “Do you know you talk in your sleep?” She turned toward him, one nail between her teeth. Shit. He’d known that was coming. It was inevitable. His one other partner since his surgeries had mentioned it, which was why they’d stopped sleeping together. Raven…there was no getting around sleeping together, and she’d have questions.. Raven was different. She had a foot in both parts of his life; the real one, and the one he created for work. “We don’t have to talk about it,” she added in a quiet voice. “It’s okay, I just haven’t talked about it and I don’t know where to start.” Raven pushed to her feet and took the two steps to his chair. She didn’t ask, she just sat down in his lap, as if she’d known he needed an anchor. He pulled her against his chest, shifting in the wicker armchair until she was comfortably situated with her head under his chin and feet hanging over the armrest. Some of his worst nightmares included flashbacks of that night. He hadn’t admitted his PTSD to anyone, at least not willingly. But he could share this with her. Only the highlights. She didn’t need to know all of the details. “Does this have to do with the…attack?” “Yeah. Among other things.” He stroked her hair, grounding himself in the feel of her. Damien had told him there’d come a time when he’d need to talk to someone. Raven, for whatever reason, was here. And she… If he couldn’t tell her, who could he tell? “Last year, I was doing a deep cover operation. It was—bad. The people I had to live with, it’s not the stuff you easily forget. Between that and what that sadistic bastard did to me…it knocked some screws loose. The sick fuck had carved a message in my skin. You’re next. I spent a long time in recovery before they cleared me for field work again. I thought about getting a tattoo over it, but so far the lines have mostly faded.” “That-that’s awful.” She pressed her hand to his chest, just over his heart. “Thank you for telling me.” She rested her arm on the back of the chair and pushed her fingers through his hair. He tipped his head back and let himself enjoy her touch. Raven had a way of gently peeling back his layers, slipping deeper into his person than she realized. “Is there a plan for today?” she asked. “At some point I need to do a meet with the head of the Panama DEA office.” He grimaced. “Is that a good idea?” “No, but he’s going to insist on it. I think it’s a stupid idea to put me in the same room with an agent every drug dealer in the country knows on sight.” “I want to ask why, but I have a feeling it’s not going to make any sense.” “Save yourself the headache.” “Why do you do it then? This job? It seems like you’re jumping through a lot of hoops for not much progress.” “It feels like that sometimes, and I’ve struggled with it, but then I think about the people we saved, those we put in prison, and I know it makes a difference. Even if it’s hard to see it sometimes.” He patted her thigh. “Anyway, I’ll meet with him, and I think Victor has a thing for us tonight.” “A thing?” “Yeah, he wouldn’t say more than that. I don’t like it.” He paused, admiring the way the morning sun warmed her face. “I don’t like how they knew so much about me, and that I never found out they were poking around my old identities. It’s not good.” It was downright scary. Maybe it would be better to pull the plug now, go home, throw in the towel.

But then he wouldn’t get Victor, or Oscar, and another factory would just keep churning out the drugs, namely heroin. No, he had to do it. “Will you please go home?” He had to ask again, because it was the right thing to do and a part of him would rest easier, in theory, knowing she was home. “No.” Matías sighed. “I guess I’ll get caught up on my TV then.” Raven stood, stretching. “Actually, I’ve got a project for you.” He tapped his chin and admired the way the light glinted off her hair. “Oh?” She turned, one hand on her hip, and peered at him. “Yes. You’re going to make a flogger today, and later, I’m going to use it on you.” RAVEN KNELT OVER THE sheet of leather, focused on the pale lines drawn into the hide. The box cutter slid through it easily enough, but it wouldn’t last. She’d barely done six strips and already she could tell the blade was losing its edge. Níłch’i lay in the shade of the patio, content to chew on the salvage pieces and watch her. It wasn’t his gaze that made it hard to breathe. A man-sized shadow fell across her workspace. “You’re doing good. We need about nine more.” “Nine? Really?” She paused to glance up at Matías. He’d changed into jeans and a T-shirt, completing her pretend reality of a world where they were just two people in lust. “Don’t complain or I’ll make you cut enough for two.” Matías dragged the wicker chair closer and settled in to observe. Her stomach fluttered, a sensation she wasn’t used to. Usually she simply liked a guy, they got on well enough and she felt at least inclined to want to be with him. Matías—he took over her thoughts. He was the first thing in her mind when she woke up and everything she did connected back to him. Before she’d taken her infatuation with him as a youthful throwback. Now, he was her obsession. “Do you think your family is worried about you?” he asked. She paused in the act of cutting. All at once those happy, fuzzy feelings withered and died. She hadn’t exactly forgotten them. It was more like, willful ignorance. In her euphoria of all that Matías had introduced her to—she’d shoved the knowledge of what her grandfather and uncle were doing out of her mind. She sat up and turned toward the ocean. “Here, I’ll cut a few.” Matías sat down next to her and plucked the box cutter from her hand. He slid the blade through the leather, keeping the strip nice and thin, like he’d directed her to cut. She watched him cut three strips in a row, focusing on the way he handled the blade, remembering how he’d shaved the wax from her body without a single scratch. “Matías?” A lump threatened to block out her ability to breathe. “Hm?” He gathered the strips up and laid them to the side. Oh God, how did she tell him? It wasn’t like she was the guilty one here, but she’d covered for them and that made her guilty by association. Then, she’d gone and covered up for Hokee. One of Matías’ cell phones rang. He sighed and reached for the one he’d begun the trip with. “Shit,” he muttered before tapping the screen. “Bueno.” She could hear a fast, clipped voice on the other end of the phone. Matías grimaced and pushed to his feet, striding back into the condo. Raven leaned against the railing at her back and watched him pace back and forth inside.

Hey, Matías, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this, but Hokee flies drugs in from Mexico. Mostly just pot. Good thing it’s on its way to being legal maybe, huh? Every now and then some coke. I should have told you. That wasn’t going to go over well. She scrubbed a hand over her face. Fuck. She’d known the man for years. She should be able to talk to him. Be honest. Raven gathered her hair over her shoulder and braided it. With that task done, she bent once more to the task at hand, cutting the strips of leather, while trying to not listen to Matías’ side of the phone call. “No, it’s not a good idea,” he said again before pacing out of hearing range. She said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t need to leave, that she could keep him there with her. By the time Matías emerged onto the patio, she was cutting the last strip. She sat back on her heels and glanced up at him. “You have to leave,” she said. The grimace on his face said it all. “Yeah.” His voice was clipped and his gaze hard. “Not for a while though. I’ll squeeze in this meet before we go tonight.” “Did something happen?” “Nothing really.” He sighed. “Just bureaucratic bullshit. I’ll handle it tonight. Here, let me show you what to do next.” He sat down in the chair and she scooted closer, bringing the leather strips with her. Matías bundled the strips and folded them in half. “You’re going to want to braid these a little, just enough so they’re interlocking. Then get that thick thread and weave in-between these. Once you have it locked, I’ll come in and sew some of it together so it really stays. Think you can do that?” “I think so.” She wrapped her hand around his and tilted the bundle toward her. “What’s it going to feel like?” “I can show you. Stand up against the railing.” “What? Now?” She gaped at him, a little shocked and a little turned on. “Yeah. Unless you’d rather not.” He gripped the leather where it bent over the ring and swung it a few times in a figure eight pattern. There was an easy grace to his movements, as if he’d done this a hundred times before. Was she scared? Her pulse was raised, her heart pounded and her skin tingled. Raven got to her feet and dusted her hands off. Matías watched her, neither encouraging nor discouraging. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged it up, over her head, and tossed the garment onto a chair, leaving her in the yellow striped bikini top. She smiled at Matías as she turned to the rail and grasped it, much as she had the desk that first night. If she’d learned anything so far, it was that clothes just got in the way. This far up, it wasn’t as if anyone could actually see them, and the privacy walls on either side of the curved patio prevented any lookie-lous from taking a peek. Besides, it gave her a thrill to imagine what sinful things he might do to her out here—where anyone might see. “Pull your hair over your shoulder, or at least try to,” Matías said. The sound of the flogger swinging through the air made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end and invisible fingers dance down her arms. She shivered and finished off the braid in a simple knot. “Hold onto the railing,” he said. She grasped the warm metal and stared out at the ocean. Gulls circled the beach, while people sunbathed and played in the surf. Out on the water, boats went back and forth. She could feel little bits of

sand under her toes on the concrete patio. The sun beat down on her shoulders, and the humidity made it harder to breathe, almost as if she were underwater. Her mind went in a hundred directions, refusing to focus on the man and the toy behind her. A lower pitched whoosh than the belt was all the warning she got before a firm force smacked her across the shoulders. It rocked her forward on the balls of her feet, but only because she hadn’t been ready. Again he struck her back, and she arched into it. It didn’t sting, in fact, it sort of thudded against her like a hard massage. The tie of her halter top bikini dug into her neck, and a strand of hair tickled her nose. Below, some children started playing with a Frisbee and a large dog. “Nice, isn’t it?” Matías asked. “Mm, yeah.” Raven wanted to enjoy this moment, but her thoughts were like marbles, rolling in a hundred different directions, refusing to stay put. She closed her eyes, shifting as he changed his aim, going across her shoulders, and up and down her back. At first, it wasn’t so bad, but the more he worked her over, the more sensitive her skin became. She tightened her grip and closed her eyes. Last night, she’d been able to enjoy the sensations of the wax on her skin—today, she was analyzing every lick of leather. The breeze picked up, brushing over her face and whipping the lose locks around her face. The salt air brought back memories of chips and salsa next to a pool. The flogger snapped against her left shoulder blade so hard she yelped at the sting. “What? Weren’t expecting that?” Matías asked. His voice rang with laughter, as if he were enjoying himself. “No!” She smiled and resisted the urge to look behind her. The last thing she wanted was to catch the next blow with her face. He gently flicked the leather over her skin, and she relaxed. Just as she let her shoulders drop, she heard him grunt and the flogger fell across her shoulders hard enough that she rocked forward. A girlish squeal escaped her lips. “Ouch,” she said. “What? That hurt?” “Yes.” She squeezed the railing tighter as he continued to vary the strength of his blows. They were getting stronger, driving out the competing thoughts, blanketing her awareness in this shared moment. Matías pressed his body to her back, covering her hands with his and speaking into her ear. “We’re barely getting started.” His stubble scraped across her neck. She let her head tip back to rest on his shoulder. Her entire body was under his spell now. The world around them ceased to exist. All that mattered was him. He slid his hands up her arms and down her sides. How was it that one man could master her body like this? MATÍAS’ HANDS SHOOK AS he placed them against Raven’s stomach. He pressed his face into her hair and inhaled. She made him want things he had no business wanting. Not while he was still eyes deep in the DEA and part of an undercover mission that could blow his retirement plans to pieces. And yet, when he held her like this, and she moaned like that, rational thought fled him. He wanted her, and she’d been pretty clear about wanting him. “I’m going to flog you.” He slid his hands up her ribs, pushed them under the stretchy bikini top and covered her breasts with his palms. “I’m going to flog you right here.” There was a voyeuristic appeal to playing on the patio. He’d had visions of exactly this when he’d seen it. From below, they were nothing but stick figures, so no one would actually see them, but the idea

of being seen spiked his adrenaline levels. Raven whimpered, her head tossing back and forth on his shoulder as he rolled her nipples between his fingers, pinching them and toying with the hard peaks. “Do you want me to do that? Do you care if people see how turned on I make you?” “Uh-uh.” She panted, her eyes still closed and lips parted. Fuck, if he didn’t want to do her right here and now. He pulled his hands out of her bikini top and backed away, adjusting his erection. Matías gathered the makeshift flogger back in his hand. It took a little finagling to hold it in a way the tails remained in place, but when it was done, it would be a handy little toy. He’d really lucked out finding the tanner stall. He swung it a few times, experimenting with the new hold, but his gaze kept going back to Raven’s legs. She had the longest legs of any woman he’d ever met. They went on for days, long, lean and perfect for wrapping around his waist. She wore these shorts that weren’t anything special, except they were on her, cupping her firm, round ass just how he wanted to. He swung the flogger underhanded, flicking the tails up between her legs. Raven jumped and made this sound, something between a squeal and a growl. He grinned and delivered a sharp slap across her bottom. She danced from foot to foot, wiggling her hips. “Didn’t think you could be spanked with a flogger?” he taunted and swung the flogger with both hands. It popped against the full curve of her ass loudly. She cried out, going up on the balls of her feet and pushing her hips back. That was not the position of someone in pain. He dropped the flogger into the patio chair. Matías grasped her hips, just above the waistband of her shorts, and slid his fingers under the material. She sucked in her stomach as he pushed past the bikini bottoms and cupped her mound, pressing his finger to her clit. Moisture coated his digit. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck, his mouth to her skin. He wanted to bite her, like some animal, marking her as his. She already bore several colorful badges of their passion, but they weren’t enough. She wasn’t his, at least not of her admission. In his mind, she belonged to him, as no other woman had. Because they didn’t know all sides of him like she did. “Matías,” she whispered. “You’re such a good girl.” “Matías.” Her voice rose in pitch, straining. If he looked at her eyes, they’d be dilated. She was flying. “What is it?” He flicked the button on her shorts and the zipper lowered on its own. He pushed his middle finger deep inside of her, biting back a curse word at how hot and wet she was. She groaned and moved her hips, urging him on. It was too much. “I’m going to fuck you right here,” he said, watching her face. She gasped, and goose bumps broke out along her arms. She didn’t utter a single protest, further confirming his assumption. Besides, the thick netting would hide their lower bodies from anyone who wanted to watch. He pushed her shorts and bottoms down her legs and she kicked out of them, widening her stance and glancing back at him, her eyes narrow slits. There was nothing but lust there. Matías dug his wallet out of his pocket and grabbed the condom he’d stashed there from the box he’d purchased. How long had it been since he went anywhere prepared? He felt ten years younger and just as foolish as he unhooked his jeans and pushed his clothes down. He tore the condom wrapper open and rolled the latex on. She bent forward, treating him to a glimpse

of her pussy, damp and ready for him. What would it be like to look into her face when he pushed into her? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sex with a woman face to face. He pushed the desire aside. Matías grasped his cock and placed it at her entrance. She groaned and leaned forward. He sank into her, easing in bit by bit. She pushed against him, taking him in deeper and squeezing him with her inner muscles. He pulled his hand back and slapped her across her right cheek. She yelped and her whole body tensed, trapping his dick in a velvet vice, so perfectly. He closed his eyes and rocked forward onto the balls of his feet. She moved before he did, undulating her hips, fucking him with little helpless moans. He wanted to eat her up, make her scream and come, over and over again. “Mm, do it again,” she said over her shoulder. He chuckled around the knot in his throat. If that was what she wanted… Matías spanked her left cheek a little harder and his eyes nearly crossed when she tensed. He could feel the impact in his balls, already drawing up, ready to come. Oh hell no. He was not about to come without her. He circled his arm around her, cupping her mound once more and rubbing his fingers over her clit. Back and forth while he thrust. “Oh, oh, oh!” She lowered until her upper body draped over the rails, her knuckles were pale and her knees buckled. “Come on, come on,” he said under his breath. He heard the hitch in her breath the second before her body tensed. He delivered two hard swats to her ass and she screamed. Her orgasm spurred his onward and for a moment, they were both flying, sharing the moment of sweet relief. Matías bent, covering her with his body and kissed the back of her neck. Mine.



CH A P TER TEN



Matías ducked into a doorway and pressed his back to the brick wall, holding his breath to save himself from the stench in the alley. This was a bad idea. Victor’s goons in Panama were harder to lose. These guys had skill and experience. There was no way he would make it to the embassy without blowing his cover. He pulled out his cell phone and texted the head of the Panama office. It was one thing to play with his life; it was another to put both him and an innocent in harm’s way. An answering text chimed and he glanced at the screen. The address wasn’t anywhere he recognized, but that was what taxi drivers were for. He peered up and down the alley once more, but the coast was clear. A few minutes later, he hailed a cab and crawled into the back seat, holding his breath. There was a well-known story of an agent getting into a hired car—just like this one—and getting his head blown off. It was a hit, but it served as a reminder that it could all too easily be him, next. The cab cut through the city traffic with only half a dozen death defying moments. His destination was a small, run down café. This late in the afternoon, there wasn’t much traffic, and the lone Caucasian man stuck out like an eyesore. Would suits never learn? Matías’ Hispanic heritage helped him blend in, on the surface. At least until he opened his mouth, and then anyone within hearing distance would peg him as being from Mexico. He grabbed a magazine off a rack and flipped through the pages, turning casually toward the street to check his tail. The goons were still nowhere to be seen. A major blessing at this point. A foot scuffed to his right. “You M—” Matías whipped his head around, scowling. “Who you talkin’ to, man?” He gave the suit a hostile once-over. Was the idiot really going to address him here, on the street, by his given name? Wouldn’t be the first time. The man held up his hands. “Sorry, thought you were someone else.” He turned back to the bartender and laid out a bill before turning and heading out one of the open doors. This was the most ridiculous meet, second only to having to slip into a women’s restroom at a crowded night club to get to a female agent so he could give her a damn gun. Matías gave the street one last visual sweep before heading after the suit. They kept up the pretense of

Matías following the suit for two blocks before he ducked into a building with no sign out front. When Matías entered, he found it to be just an empty hallway and a few empty offices. The suit stood to the side of a window, watching the street. “Matías Govea. Nice of you to visit.” “Thanks for the invitation.” “It wasn’t one.” The suit turned toward him, hands clasped behind his back. Matías shrugged. It wasn’t as if he’d chosen to come to Panama. “How long is this little operation going to last?” he asked. “I can’t say.” “Can’t? Or won’t?” “Can’t. Has my handler briefed you?” “Yeah, I talked to Berlin,” the suit sneered. “May I ask what your problem is?” The suit stalked slowly toward him. “You. This whole off-the-rails operation. Do you know how much you’re screwing up my plans?” Matías had no idea what the man was talking about. Was he even the head of the Panama DEA? Or another field agent? “No offense, but who are you?” Matías asked. He wouldn’t comment about his own operation without knowing who it was he was speaking with. “I’m Ben North.” The head of the Panama DEA. “Mr. North, it was never my intention to come to Panama. Decisions in the field brought me here.” “Yeah, and you did nothing to change that. We’ve been cleaning Panama up, and now you bring this trash back in here.” There was no reasoning with Ben North. He was a man with a sandbox he didn’t want to share, and what was worse, he was under the assumption Panama was getting better. Word on the street was different. Business was good in Panama—and the local DEA was unaware. “Is that all?” It had taken Matías three hours to get to this little meet, and all for nothing? What a waste of his goddamned time. “No, your team over at the Marriott wanted me to give you this.” He produced an envelope from his inner jacket pocket and extended it toward Matías. He took it and glanced at the documents. Visas for two and a passport, plus a Texas driver’s license for Raven under the name of Alice. Seriously? This stuff could have been useful when they were in Mexico but it was useless here in Panama. They were in too deep to leave now, and Raven was pretty dead set on sticking with him. “Thanks,” Matías said. He’d find a place to dispose of the documents, since there was no explanation he could produce for as to why he’d have them—or how Raven’s name suddenly changed. What a clusterfuck. “Any chance Eddie is here?” “What? Oh, yeah, Berlin got here today.” Ben North rolled his eyes. “We good here? Anything else?” “Yeah, wrap this op up fast.” He buttoned his coat. “What’s the name of your pilot’s company?” “Benally Cargo.” The words felt dragged out of him. He didn’t want to give up Raven’s company or anything to do with her. “Huh, that sounds familiar.” “Doubtful. They’re a regional cargo company. I just use them for a few jobs here and there. This one is outside their normal routes.” Ben North didn’t seem convinced.

“I’m going to head out, unless there’s anything else?” “Eddie wants you to come to the Marriott.” “Yeah, okay.” Matías snorted. He strode past Ben North, toward the back of the building. What a waste of fucking time. His phone rang and he dug it out to see who was texting him. Calle Uruguay, 9 PM. Matías glanced at his watch. It was seven now. Two hours to get back to the condo, get ready and make it to a meet? All in a day’s work. VICTOR PACED THE PRIVATE room of a little cantina he’d strolled to. Señor Jiménez had avoided seeing him since their arrival. Not surprising, since Oscar had come to see him looking like a whipping dog with his tail between his legs. It appeared the golden heir had made a mistake in bringing Victor and his asset to see the family. It wasn’t the timing Victor wanted. He needed another week or two to solidify his support, but the facts were that after this chance encounter, the Jiménez family would disappear. This wasn’t how business was done, but they seemed determined to run things from afar and reap the rewards of hard work from everyone, while never lifting a finger themselves. Well, Victor, for one, was done. Someone knocked on the door. “Enter,” Victor said, placing one hand on his pistol. His two bodyguards entered, appearing as though they were just another set of tourists. They nodded and sat near the door, without being told to. They waited another couple of minutes, and Victor’s accountant and assistant arrived. These four were his inner circle. They would be the rocks on which he built their operation up, bigger and better than the Jiménez’s ever might have. The waitress tapped on the door and thrust a bottle of tequila through the narrow space his bodyguard opened for her. His assistant poured shots for each. Victor accepted his and held it out. The team knew what would happen tonight, it just needed to be put in motion. “Tonight, my brothers, we end one chapter and begin another,” Victor said. He hoisted the little glass and the others mimicked his motion. “To the future.” “To the future,” the four men echoed. They downed the shots as one. Victor slammed the glass onto the nearest table and turned to his assistant. “You know what room they’re in?” His assistant nodded. “Good. That dumb fuck Oscar is trying his hardest to scare away José.” Now, more than before, Victor needed the man in his corner. “Boss, you want us to kill all of them? Even the daughter?” his bodyguard asked. “All of them. There can’t be a Jiménez left to draw breath. We’ll leave before anyone knows they’re dead.” “Where are we going?” his assistant asked. “The States, I should think. No one will look for us there.” Victor had a plan, one which would keep José in the dark and suspicion off himself. Now, to stomach one more night—then kill his boss. RAVEN CONCENTRATED ON PUTTING one foot in front of the other, her kitten heels clicking on the polished

concrete, but the truth kept chasing her. I’m lying to Matías. Keeping the truth about Hokee and her uncle from him had seemed like such a small thing in the beginning. And now…she didn’t know what she was doing. Where she was headed. The only thing she felt certain about was that her feelings for Matías’ were much more complicated than a simple attraction. The doorman at the swanky restaurant opened the glass doors for them without a word or a name being uttered. The building was old, with a bit of a militaristic feel. She almost expected soldiers to jump out at them and charge her with lying. It was true, after all. She fully deserved to be found out. She deserved nothing less for what she was doing to the man who’d shown her nothing but kindness and her own kinky nature. Instead of floating in the clouds, she was dragging dead weight. They’d spent most of the day together; hanging out like any two single adults might, with the exception of his flogger lesson. She was itching to feel it again, but she didn’t deserve it. Not really. Matías led her arm-in-arm through old, stone and brick archways into a room with a huge, vaulted ceiling. Despite its size, it seemed to weigh down on her, pressing her into the ground. “What is this place?” she asked. “Las Bovedas. It used to be a prison, now it’s one of the finest Italian restaurants in the city.” A jail. How appropriate. “There they are.” He smoothed his free hand over his suit jacket. She spotted Victor in a group at the bar with several other men she didn’t recognize. “The one wearing the half-unbuttoned, white shirt is Oscar. He’s the son of Victor’s boss,” he whispered hurriedly. They’d made something of a plan while tripping over each other to get ready. It mostly consisted of her saying as little as possible and leaving it up to Matías, but there were a few signals she needed to be aware of. Namely ones for alarming situations to come, and to get her ass out of town. “José!” The man in the white shirt stood, spreading his arms as if Matías were some long-lost friend. She heard Matías groan slightly through his bared teeth that was supposed to be a smile. He let go of her and embraced the man. Oscar’s gaze fell on her, and for a second, she felt like a mouse caught in a trap. Her blood went cold then hot and she stumbled to a stop. Whoever Oscar was—he wasn’t a good man. “Let me introduce you to Raven, my pilot.” Matías turned toward her, arm extended. She stepped to his side, glad when he wrapped a protective arm around her. “Oscar, this is my girlfriend, Raven. Raven, this is Oscar Jiménez, he’s trying to talk me out of retiring.” “Then he must be offering you a lot of money.” She frowned appropriately. “That is for the men to discuss. Pleasure to meet you.” Oscar extended his hand. She didn’t want to touch him, lest whatever evil clung to him might jump to her, but she had no choice. This was her role to play. There was no signal for this. She let him take her hand, he pumped it once, and continued to hold onto it. “You know, José, it’s always good to know who you’re getting into bed with.” The way Oscar stared at her, she didn’t like it. Her natural fight-or-flight response screamed to get the hell out of here. “I agree completely,” Matías replied Oh, shit. Did Oscar know something about her? What could it be she’d done wrong? Oscar’s gaze narrowed just a hair. He was a snake, about to strike. She could feel her throat constricting, there was no stopping what he was about to do. “You understand if we partner, Benally Cargo will have to stop transporting goods over the border for other people.” She opened her mouth—but what did she say to that? Denying it would do her no good—it was the

truth. “Oscar, what do I care what they do? I’m retiring, remember.” Matías laughed, a big, booming sound, and slapped her on the back. “Ah, but maybe not, my friend.” Oscar released her hand and turned toward Matías, as if he were dismissing her. “Let’s get a drink.” Matías gestured to the bar. “We’ve already had a few rounds. You’ll have to catch up.” Matías applied pressure to the small of her back, ushering her toward the stone and wood bar at the end of the room. Oscar rejoined his group at the corner, a few feet away. She put her back to the group and stared up at Matías—who was ignoring her. “I-I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. It’s not me, it’s Hokee. I don’t know how long they’ve been doing it, but it’s why my dad left. I was going to leave, too, then you called to do a job, and I couldn’t just leave them. You’d have realized what they were doing. It’s wrong, but they’re my family and I couldn’t—I didn’t know what else to do.” She spoke in a rush, as softly as she could. “Stop. Just—stop.” Matías glanced over her head, surveying the room. He leaned closer and kissed her temple, but there was no sweetness to the gesture. It was calculated, like everything else about José. He wasn’t her Matías now. “Be quiet. Be pretty. Hold it together.” She nodded and clasped her clutch with both hands while he ordered drinks for them. She accepted what he gave her, and when he prodded her toward the group, she went. No words, just the awful silence. He left her standing on the fringes while he waded into the thick of it, turning on his smile and charisma, and shutting her out. She stirred her drink and tasted the strong mix of alcohol. It wasn’t her drink of choice, not that she was much for alcohol, but perhaps this time it might deaden the ache inside. She sipped once more, wincing as it burned going down her throat. Nope, still not her thing, but she took a few more sips before setting it back on the bar. Matías had removed his jacket, laying it over the back of a chair, and his sleeves were rolled up, to just below his elbow. He slid into the group so easily, as if he really did belong. It was easy to see how these men thought he was one of them. He dressed in the same style they did, with gold rings on his fingers and a gold chain around his neck, sporting a Catholic saint. He even gelled his hair like theirs. He was, for all intents and purposes on the outside, a model dealer. And she was his problematic girlfriend. Would she find herself disposed of? MATÍAS COULDN’T LOOK AT Raven. She was too beautiful, too sad, and even glancing at her pissed him off. She’d made him appear to be a fool. What he needed most in an undercover situation was honesty, and she’d kept that from him, and fuck the consequences. “José, let us take the party downstairs.” Oscar gathered up his drinks. The man had been two-fisting them since they arrived. “Downstairs?” He sipped his watered-down white wine spritzer. Oscar edged closer. “The restaurant is for everyone. Downstairs,” —he lifted his eyebrows and his gaze slid toward Raven— “it’s for people like you. The men told me stories. I want to see it.” A dungeon in a dungeon? Really? If that was what Oscar was hinting at, then it was the last place Raven needed to be. But he also couldn’t send her out on her own. Who knew what Oscar or Victor’s thugs might be instructed to do? Matías trusted the man not a bit. “Lead the way.” He turned toward Raven, who had abandoned her drink in favor of staring blankly at the polished wood surface. The remorse was easy to see, but damn her, she’d lied to him by omission. He wanted to

ring her neck and pry the rest of the secret out of her all at once, because there was no way Oscar was telling him the full extent of the story. “Raven.” Her chin snapped up and for a second, he was lost in the depths of her gaze, and the sadness nearly drowned him, but it was only for a moment. In an instant, she’d pulled herself together, erected that calm facade and crossed to his side. Oscar led them through a door Matías had assumed was a server’s hallway, but instead they turned away from the kitchens. They descended down a flight of stairs that must have dated back to the original structure. The passageway widened a bit, and they passed through a pair of thick, wooden doors into another hall. Here, it felt as though the very earth was pressing in all around them. Sounds echoed down the hall, reverberating through the corridor. What atrocities would they find here? The Fetish Ball hadn’t been that bad. Mostly exhibitionists and people out for a thrill. He didn’t hold out much hope for this place to be any better. Fuck, why hadn’t he sent Raven away when the op changed? He could have flown commercially. Then he’d never known she’d lied to him, and she’d never have to be here. “Have you been here before?” he asked Oscar. “What? No. I just found out about it today. I heard this place is owned by a bitch of a woman. She’s American, too. Said we were only welcome to watch.” Oscar glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. Smart lady. A wooden desk barred their passage. Behind it sat a woman wearing a half-mask with holes punched in it on her lower face. They could see her eyes, but nothing more. She glanced over them, taking the measure of their party. The attendant shoved a few forms at them, but remained mute. It wasn’t the most helpful, but he wasn’t about to argue with how a dungeon was run outside of the States. Everyone was required to sign the forms. They basically amounted to confidentiality agreements as well as an acknowledgement that what they were about to see was risk aware consensual kink. Nothing remarkable. Oscar led the way into what appeared to be the main dungeon. Red and amber lights cast illumination on the play spaces, while leaving deep shadows around the room. They clustered around the entrance, like the lookie-lous they were. Matías glanced right then left and spied a corner with an L-shaped sofa in easy view of several play spaces. He tapped Oscar on the shoulder and gestured toward the seating area. The younger man grinned, a lustful gleam in his eye. Victor scowled at Oscar, wearing an expression similar to what Matías felt. Their group settled on the couches, many putting their heads together and whispering. This club had a lot more flash and polish than the converted warehouse space they’d visited first. Matías peered closer at the people playing and everything clicked into place. By and large, Hispanics were not an ethnic group who embraced deviant sexual behaviors like BDSM, but major places like Panama City liked commerce, and kink was big business. The patrons were tourists, most of them white, not locals at all. “It’s nice, no?” Oscar reclined with his two drinks in hand. Matías couldn’t quite figure the kid out. He was clearly kept in the company for—reasons—and allowed to play a role. But what? And why would the family allow him to run wild like this? Oscar had no business sense and even less tact. Matías didn’t like dealing with him. He’d prefer Victor, who was an enemy Matías understood, at least. “You should play that one.” Oscar gestured to a woman standing quietly near a wall, her blonde hair piled on her hair, wearing only panties. Matías pitied her as Oscar continued to leer. She was pretty, but tiny. Breakable. “Nah,” Matías replied. He had no intention of playing at all. He had no desire to perform for these

people. Kink was for him. Not for the job. “Why not? She’s prettier than your horse-face girlfriend.” Oscar snickered like a child. Matías curled his hand into a fist. What he wouldn’t give to deck the guy. He glanced at Raven, but she gave no indication she’d heard. “It’s not polite to insult your friends,” Matías replied, staring over Oscar to another woman. She wore red leather, from head to toe, and carried herself with an air of confidence and composure. Her posture telegraphed, Dominant, to anyone who glanced her way. The bitch owner? He liked her already. “You should show us your moves,” Oscar said, pushing his shoulder. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Oh, come on.” “We don’t play in public.” Shit. What if Oscar pressed them? The spoiled ass probably wasn’t used to hearing the word no. “We went to all this work of bringing you to the finest club south of the US, and you don’t play?” Oscar rolled his eyes. “Sorry, friend, but that’s not how this works,” Matías replied, his words short and clipped. Perhaps they needed to leave, and damn the impression they made on Oscar. Their safety was more important. Besides, he might be angry with Raven, but he wasn’t about to put her on display for these people. She was his to discipline. He glanced at her, and found her watching the play spaces with rapt attention. She glanced at him, a sad, wary expression on her usually unreadable face. He saw Victor out of the corner of his eye grab Oscar by the lapel and whisper something to the young man. Matías knew better than to acknowledge the exchange, so he continued to stare at Raven, who held his gaze. He was torn between losing himself in her sorrow and staying alert. Oscar stood, glaring at Victor, and adjusted his jacket. “We’ll see about this,” Oscar snapped. He turned and stalked toward the double doors. Victor gestured to the men sitting on the edge of the sofa, the ones who hadn’t spoken or drank all night. They nodded and rose as one, following the young man. Matías watched the exchange, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. Something was happening, but damn if he didn’t know what. “José, I must ask something of you.” Victor picked up Oscar’s empty glass and rolled it in his hand. Matías eyed the empty glass. “Have the feds ever approached you to rat out your providers?” “No.” Matías stared at him. “Have you ever worked for the feds?” Was this what Oscar was pissed about? What was Victor angling for? “No. What is the meaning of this?” He clenched his hand and glared, acting as if the idea offended him. “It’s nothing personal, but we have to know. For sure.” Victor spread his hands. “I don’t like this line of conversation. I’m no fucking fed.” “I know, I know. I’ve tried to tell my bosses this, but, they want proof.” “Proof? What more should I do for you? I’ve bought millions of dollars in product from you, I’ve always paid on time, we’ve done business for almost ten years—and you want me to prove I’m not a fed? After all this time?” A man wearing a red sash approached them, scowling. The Dungeon Monitor, no doubt. Matías inclined his head toward the man, who paused, a deep frown on his face. “Apologies, I’ll keep my voice down,” Matías said to him. “José, believe me. I understand, but see it from our side. It’s a big step of faith to take.”

“Then what proof do you need?” Victor considered it for a second. “What if you introduced me to your biggest buyer? Since the Valdez Cartel went away, who else are you selling to?” Matías undercover role in the Valdez Cartel had given him the intimate knowledge of their operations to believably place José in the mix. But without the very real entity, he’d have to create a buyer. One that would impress Victor. He frowned, as if he were considering the suggestion. Considering how much of his real life they’d happened upon, it would need to be an agent he trusted completely. Someone who could play the role, and be believable. There weren’t many on his list, but the first one he’d trust with his life was Damien Moana. “I can perhaps make that work. When?” “Tomorrow? Day after?” “You’re in a hurry.” “No, not at all, but if you were a fed, you couldn’t get anything lined up in time.” Victor smiled over his glass, but it was not a happy smile. It was one that chilled to the bone. Not enough time? Matías would see about that.



CH A P TER ELEV EN



Raven sat by herself, peering around the dungeon. The Columbians had either left, or were lurking around the fringes, watching the play. Matías was nowhere to be found. Would he leave her here? If it weren’t for Níłch’i, she would consider it fair. She couldn’t even enjoy the dungeon or find much interest in the actions of the players. Matías knew she’d lied. Everything would change now. “You have dangerous friends.” Raven glanced up at the woman she’d seen earlier wearing the red leather pants and corset. Even her lips and hair were shades of red. She sat down on the coffee table in front of Raven, her gaze seeming to stare deep in her soul. “They aren’t what I would call—friends,” Raven replied. “Then you’re a smart girl.” The woman’s Spanish was rough, halting. It was clearly not her first language. “I speak English.” Raven changed languages and continued. “Well, that’s a relief then.” She smiled ruefully. “You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.” Raven took a deep breath. “Relationship troubles.” “Ah.” Her brows rose and she nodded. “I’m Anne, by the way.” “Raven.” They shook hands and for the first time in a while, Raven felt as if she’d found a friendly person. “May I ask how you identify?” Anne asked. “Identify?” Raven blinked at the woman. “Are you a submissive, Mistress, kinkster?” “Oh.” Raven rolled the question around in her head. “I’m not sure. This is all still pretty new to me.” “Okay, do you like doing things to people, or having things done to you?” “Done to me.” That was an easy question. “Your man, what about him?” “Dominant.” Of that, there was no doubt. “I would offer you advice, but I’m not particularly skilled in relationships, either.” Anne shrugged. “I can, however, give you a tour and answer any questions you might have. Compliments of the house.” “I’d like that, if it’s not too much trouble.” They rose from the sofa and began a tour of the room, pausing several feet away from people deep in the throes of a scene for Anne to explain what was being done and often why. Her insight into her clients

was fascinating and eye-opening, and Raven liked getting up close and personal with the equipment no one was using. It was a fast and furious education, but the more Anne showed her, the more interested Raven became. “He must be special,” Anne remarked as they stepped into one of the private suites. Judging by the disarray, it had been in use not long ago. “Who?” “Your dominant.” Those words stabbed her. “I don’t know that I’d call him mine.” “Well, you feel that way.” Anne spoke so matter of fact, as if she knew Raven’s heart better than herself. Did she feel as though Matías was hers? Her heart ached at the thought. “I guess I do,” Raven replied, staring at a spot on the floor. “I did something wrong, and I don’t know if I can make it right.” “I hear you. Been there. Done that.” There was a world of hurt in Anne’s eyes for a fraction of a second. Was that going to be her? Would Raven’s mistake ruin what might have been? Was it crazy to want more from Matías than just a cover story? What about after he left the DEA? Would he have wanted to see her again before her lie? “Have you tried apologizing?” Anne asked. “Yes.” “I’ve always found a blow job can help smooth things over.” The comment didn’t sound quite so shocking, coming from Anne. But Raven didn’t think Matías could be won over through sex. She’d violated the one place where he knew who he was, and for that, she didn’t know if there was a way to make up for it. “Madam?” The sash-wearing man from earlier stepped through the doorway. Anne turned to her. “Someone needs me. Please, hang around. And I hope you two fix things.” “Me, too.” Raven made a slow circuit of the room, peering curiously at the furniture. Half of it, she recognized from her tour, the other half she could only guess at its use. Especially the wall of toys. That was so far beyond her. The room had a bedroom theme, with two king-size beds at the far end with rumpled sheets, with posts and canopies. On closer inspection, she saw rings screwed into the posts. It was a new lens through which she was viewing the world. A decadent one that was also far more honest than her own life. What had Matías awakened in her? Everything was happening so fast there wasn’t a lot of time to process it all. But, when it boiled down to it, what Matías did to her made her feel in ways she’d never before experienced. What could be bad about that? What was there to second-guess? And how badly had she screwed up? “Señorita Benally.” The voice crawled over Raven’s skin, turning her stomach as her throat constricted. She turned toward the man, her nerves tying themselves in knots as Victor stepped through the door. He had a glass of wine in hand, maybe the same glass he’d nursed since earlier. “Hello, señor. I must confess, I only know you as Victor.” “Don’t try to be sneaky now. I’m Victor. There’s no need for formalities between friends.” He took a few steps toward her, wagging his finger. She remained rooted to the spot. There was no other exit, save for the door behind Victor, which was

already partially closed. She couldn’t likely dart past him, at least not without starting something else. She’d already screwed up enough, running from Matías’ supplier wouldn’t be good for business. “I apologize, I only meant—” He stopped, so close she could reach out and touch him. Victor waved his hand and she barely avoided flinching. Matías wouldn’t have told her to avoid being in the same room with Victor alone unless he had a good point. “What did I say? We’re friends. No need for apologies.” Victor smiled, but it only made her feel cold inside. “Thank you,” she said for lack of a better reply. “I apologize for the way Oscar handled things earlier. I was going to broach the topic with Matías in private but,” Victor shrugged, “Oscar has his own way of handling things.” “We’ll handle it,” Raven replied. It was the only thing she could think of to say. She glanced at the door, but couldn’t see into the dungeon. “Tell me about this thing the two of you do.” Victor reached out and selected a black riding crop from the toys hung on the wall. Her blood pumped so hard and fast she could barely hear him. “It’s private,” she replied. Victor slapped her thigh with the crop. She took a step back, and he tilted his head to the side. “Come now, we’re friends.” His voice lowered and there was a decidedly predatory glint to his eye. Raven licked her lips, frozen to the spot. Her natural reaction was to punch the guy in the throat and knee him in the nuts. She would never put up with a man striking her, much less in fun, save for what she did with Matías—which was entirely different. However, the situation was so much more complicated. What was the right thing to do? How did she react? Did her actions now endanger this mission or their lives? “I don’t think—” Victor pulled his arm back and swung. She couldn’t move fast enough in the dress and heels to get away, so she grabbed the crop, wrapping her hand around the flexible rod, and twisted. Victor growled and something dangerous flashed in his gaze. He lunged toward her and she stumbled back. “Raven.” Matías’ voice boomed in the small space, freezing both her and Victor. In the blink of an eye, Victor was calm, serene and completely unassuming. He straightened his coat and turned toward Matías. “I thought I told you to stay put.” Matías glared at her as he approached them, but the anger wasn’t aimed at her. Raven dropped the crop, glancing between the two men. She licked her lips, unsure if she should go to him or not. “If you said that, I didn’t hear you. I’m sorry.” All she’d understood was that he was going to use the phone. Raven clasped her hands behind her back to keep from fidgeting. “Do you have plans tonight?” Victor asked Matías. Matías turned his head toward Victor, and in that moment, she wouldn’t have traded places with the man for all the money in the world. “We’re going back to the condo. You should leave, Victor, before you overstay your welcome.” There was no denying the thinly-veiled threat. Raven held her breath, torn between swooning for the man and crawling under the bed to get away. “Good thing the car should be here.” Victor upended his wineglass, finishing off the last of it in several gulps and placed it on the edge of a table. “Good evening, my friends.” He sauntered from the room, as if he hadn’t been a second away from accosting her. Matías followed him and closed the heavy door, sealing out the sounds from the main dungeon and

leaving them in near silence. He grabbed a heavy, wooden chair and dragged it in front of the door. She didn’t think it would keep anyone out, but the gesture made her feel safer. Alone, Matías turned toward her, his gaze no less harsh. She’d still done wrong. Only the deepest bass reverberated through the room. His shoes thudded on the stone floor as he paced toward her. She swallowed hard, but refused to look away. She’d own her wrongdoing and the crappy reasons why she’d done it. He stopped less than an arm’s length from her, his mouth compressed in a hard line. I’m sorry, her mind screamed, over and over again, yet she couldn’t speak. Her voice had left her. For several, long moments neither spoke, and she withered under his gaze. “Did he hurt you?” Matías asked. “No.” “He did something.” “He popped me with the riding crop. Once. I told him to stop, and when he tried again, I took it from him.” “Good girl.” She was such a sucker for those two words. He pushed her hair behind her ear and for a moment she breathed easier. “How much business do you do with my contacts?” “Me? None.” She shook her head. The tension wrapped around her, threatening to smother her once again. “Don’t lie to me, Raven.” He took a step toward her and pulled his hands from his pockets. She flinched, more from the heat of his anger than the fear that he would harm her. “I’m not lying.” She tipped her chin up and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how long or who Hokee has flown for. I found out by accident.” She took a deep breath. “I was going to leave, you know? I was at the airstrip to tell Hokee I was out when I found out you were coming and they… You’d have found Hokee. Like that. I panicked. Is what they’re doing wrong? Yes. Hell yes. But, they’re my family, so I thought—if I just do this one thing for them, when they do get caught, my conscience will be clean and I’ll be long gone. I never thought things would turn out this way or that I’d have to lie to you.” Her shoulders sagged and the weight of her guilt threatened to pull her through the floor. “Do you have any kind of idea what could happen to you because of them?” Matías crossed his arms over his chest. “No. Jail, I’m guessing.” “Federal jail. Maybe being on the reservation might help you out, but if they’re loading that plane full of narcotics, that’s going to be enough to put someone away for a very long time.” “I know. I just—wanted away from it. I promise you, I didn’t know.” “Then why didn’t you tell me when the plan changed?” The calmness with which he spoke was more eerie than his anger. How to put what she felt into words? She licked her lips and stared over his shoulder at the wall, letting her eyes lose focus, as if that would bring an explanation forward she could articulate. “Because…I stopped thinking about them, and started thinking about you. Us. What we were doing. How you made me feel. You’ve always made me feel…I don’t know. Safe? I was going to tell you, ask you for help, but everything’s…” She forced herself to meet his gaze. He had to know—to see—that she was telling the truth. “I realize I’ve broken your trust. That you’ve shared part of yourself with me that you hide from others. There is no excuse for what I did. It was wrong.” And it would be her shame. Matías grasped her jaw, fingers pressing into her cheeks. “It was stupid. And reckless. Sometimes, you have to let people face-plant in their own mistakes.” “I know.” “Then why did you put yourself at risk for their stupidity?” “Because…they’re my family.”

“Family shouldn’t put you at risk like that.” “I know, and that’s why I was going to fly you to Mexico, fly myself home, and leave.” “You should have left as soon as you found out.” His grip on her face tightened, and she welcomed the pain. “They’re all I have. Without them, I don’t know how I’d make it. I dropped out of high school. I have no formal aviation experience after getting my license, I can’t get a job anywhere else. I’ve been trying, but with only my GED, I’m good for nothing, no matter that I can fix anything with a propeller, and can fly anything with an engine and a rudder. Do you get it? I didn’t want to cover for them, but if I didn’t—the DEA might take everything. It’s fucked up and wrong and if you want to hate me for it, okay. I screwed up. I’m sorry they knew and you didn’t. I had no idea he would find out or that it would matter to anyone but you.” “From the moment you walked out of that bathroom, you were mine. Do you understand? Everything you do and say and are, is mine. If there is a problem, we handle it. Not you. We. Do you understand?” She swallowed hard, her heart hammering, and nodded. “Say it,” he demanded. “Yes, Sir.” “I want to bend you over and spank you until you’re black and blue, then sit you in a corner for a couple of hours.” If that would earn his forgiveness, she’d do it in a heartbeat. It didn’t make any sense, yet sometimes, things didn’t have to. “Do it,” she said. His eyes widened and the frown lines around his mouth deepened. “No,” he replied. “Why not?” “Because I’m angry.” “Then set a number. A limit. Like with the swats.” “I could flay your body apart in six strikes.” Matías slid his hand from her jaw down to her throat. He didn’t squeeze, but he didn’t need to. “Then use your hands.” He stared at her for several moments. She wasn’t fooling herself, asking for the spanking wouldn’t rebuild the trust she’d broken. There was no doubt in her mind that she deserved whatever he meted out. She also had to be ready that he might never forgive her, and what they had, however fleeting, was over. “Take off your dress,” he said, squeezing the slightest bit on her throat. She’d only gotten into the dress with his help, but if she had to get out of it on her own, she’d make it happen. Raven twisted her arms around, working the zipper down from the nape of her neck, past her shoulders and lower, until she could wiggle it off, leaving her in the black strapless bra and panties. Matías took the dress from her hands and tossed it to the side. “Do you see that bench over there?” He pointed at a contraption that looked nothing like a bench she’d ever seen before. Still, she nodded. “Straddle that and wait for me. Go.” She approached the piece of furniture. The wooden creation had three padded-leather surfaces, each maybe six inches wide, which made up a triangle, and was close to four feet long. The highest point was in the middle, with the other two on either side. She would have to kneel on the two lower platforms and straddle the highest. Raven placed one knee on each side and leaned forward, bracing herself on the center of the spanking bench. Positioned like this, she was exposed and vulnerable. Appropriate, considering that was how she felt. The moments dragged on as Matías paced back and forth in front of the wall of toys. She couldn’t tell

if he was considering any of them or not. He paused suddenly and picked out a flogger with a handle as long as her arm. The leather tails were thick and brushed the floor as he strode toward her. Oh, holy hell…what had she gotten herself into? She gulped and stared. Matías swung the flogger back, as if he had a baseball bat in his hands, and let it fly. The falls hit the back of the bench. The boom of sound was so loud she yelped and ducked. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. “You asked for this.” His voice was a taunt she didn’t need. “Count them. To ten.” “Ten?” “Ten what?” “Ten, Sir. Sorry.” He pulled the flogger back and widened his stance. She squeezed the bench tight and braced herself. This was going to hurt, really, really bad. What had she been thinking? Of course the punishment would match the crime. If she could move at all—much less sit—after this, it would be a miracle. Matías grunted and she felt the displacement of air before the leather tails struck her solidly. They were so long they wrapped around her body. The echoing boom rattled her teeth, and she held her breath, waiting for the pain…that never came. “Raven,” Matías snapped. “One, Sir.” It didn’t hurt. Like, at all. Again, he grunted and swung. This time she breathed, exhaling as the falls impacted her upper back and shoulders, spreading out across the rest of her. She rocked forward and flinched at the sound—but there was no pain. “Two, Sir.” By the third strike, she sat up a little straighter and welcomed the warming sensation sinking into her skin as blood was brought to the surface. Matías roared as he swung, and the resounding thwap against her body made her heart beat a little faster, but at most it barely stung. She counted, each strike falling in a different place, some harder than others. As her skin grew more sensitive, the more the blows stung, but even as she gasped out, “Ten, Sir,” it wasn’t too much to bear, though the weight of her guilt was lessened. He tossed the flogger across the bench in front of her and pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her. His chest rose and fell nearly as fast as her own, their panting the only sound in the room. She clung to his forearm banding her shoulders as a life-line. Please, let him forgive me. VICTOR STEPPED OVER THE threshold and into the oceanfront mansion rented by the Jiménez family. “Where is he?” Victor asked his assistant, who waited in the foyer. “The office.” The young man was dressed in all black, his hair mussed from the mask he’d worn. “The power?” “Cut. No security is on-line.” “Good. The rest of the family?” “Dead.” Perfect. Victor strode past the living room, which had recently been redone with arterial spray. There was just enough light to see the artistic arcs of red on the walls. He’d have to inspect the bodies himself, but first, Señor Jiménez owed him a favor.

The office was a well-appointed room, done in light blues and white. The man sitting on a small sofa, bleeding everywhere, lessened the aesthetic. “Victor.” Señor Jiménez gasped, his face pale and blood on his lips. “Oh, come now, old friend. You should have seen this coming. May I sit? I think I will.” Victor sank into an armchair and crossed an ankle over his knee. “How could you?” Señor Jiménez’s tone was that of a man experiencing great loss. Victor understood that loss acutely. It was his family who had suffered Señor Jiménez climbing up the ranks. “As easily as you could do this to another. It’s business.” Victor spread his hands. “You no longer drive this ship. It’s time to pass it on to another. Now, I need the access codes for the factory. You can save a life, but not yours. Give me the codes, and I spare your sister.” “You wouldn’t.” “Carlos, I’ve already had your family killed. I would. Don’t pretend I won’t. Now, the codes? Or do I have to kill her, too? It would be a shame to leave little Maria without a mother.” Victor sighed. Señor Jiménez stared at him. He wasn’t a stupid man, though he’d made some wrong decisions in the last few years. Victor could practically watch the wheels in the man’s head turning. They’d killed his security team, his family and he had to know he was next. So would he sacrifice his next of kin as well? “Will you promise me Maria will be untouched?” Interesting. He cared nothing for his sister, but the niece mattered. “I promise,” Victor said. “Fine. A pen.” Victor nodded and his assistant produced a pad of paper and a pen. “There’s a safe in my office. You will need this combination.” He wrote slowly, his breathing labored. Whatever injuries he’d suffered would kill him if they did not. Victor’s assistant ripped the page off and handed I to him without looking at it. “You’re sure this is correct? You haven’t been to your office in almost a year.” Victor studied the numbers and digits. Señor Jiménez laughed. “You don’t know everything, Victor. You only think you do. Go ahead, kill me, but I’ll take my secrets to my grave.” He laughed louder, the sound crazed as it echoed in the small, tiled office. Victor grasped the gun stuck in his assistant’s belt and aimed it at his former boss. He wouldn’t miss him, though, together they had built an empire. An empire that was now Victor’s. He pulled the trigger, and the man laughed no more. “Find Maria, and kill her—and her mother,” Victor said. What secrets was Señor Jiménez taking to his grave? MATÍAS GUIDED RAVEN THROUGH the condo and into the master suite. They hadn’t spoken since leaving the dungeon under Las Bovedas. At this point, with Victor’s digging, he didn’t trust the man to not plant a thug to pose as their cab driver on the off chance he might hear something. It shouldn’t surprise Matías that Victor knew what Hokee was doing, but he’d been blindsided. The old man had always struck him as the straight and narrow type, but money changed people. He stopped Raven at the foot of the bed and turned her away from him. He still wanted to strangle her for withholding the truth from him. In the field like this, if he couldn’t trust her completely, she was a liability. But it wasn’t like she’d been prepared for this. He should have smelled a rat when she admitted she didn’t fly cargo—unless it was an emergency. He’d been so focused on her, he hadn’t wondered what kind of emergency would precipitate a change like that. Matías unhooked the top of her dress, careful to not tangle his thick fingers in the delicate netting that draped over her shoulders, and tugged the zipper down to her hips. Her back was red, but unmarked. He

breathed a sigh of relief and guided the dress to the floor. It was remarkable how natural a submissive she was, now that the door was unlocked. She trusted him entirely too much—so why hadn’t she told him the important things? The strapless bra went next, falling to the floor in the pile of clothes. He ran his fingers over the angry, red lines left by the constricting garment, but did not allow himself to kiss her. Deception was part of human nature. There would always be things, people or causes a person was willing to cross that line to protect or get. So long as the cost was worth the gain, someone would always lie. He understood Raven’s situation, as much as he hated it. If he were in the same position to protect his family, even though his job had forced a wedge between them, he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t be pressed to make the same choice. As much as he wanted to yell at her, put her nose in the corner and rage about it —it was a reasoning he understood. Family was all that was important in the world. And yet, could he trust her? Raven had flown them to Lazaro Cardenas without a problem, and there hadn’t been a hitch in their flight to Panama City, though she’d been nervous. He couldn’t fault her nerves, not with Victor staring daggers at her. Adding the omission of her family’s drug trafficking though, he just didn’t know what the next step was. “Get into bed.” He gave her ass a pat. She glanced over her shoulder at him. A little wrinkle marred her brow and her lips were pinched. It was hard to not smooth those imperfections away and comfort her. “Did I stutter?” he said. “No, Sir.” Raven climbed into the big bed and drew the covers up over her, hiding her body from view. He left her there, staring at him with hurt and confusion. He had to leave, to think and gather his thoughts. Matías let Níłch’i out of his crate and snapped the leash on the little dog. Might as well put his frustrations to good use. He carried Níłch’i outside, toward the beach, before setting him down to do his business. Staring out at the ocean, he was able to face the uncomfortable reality. Raven mattered too much. He’d always liked her. Admired her. Wanted her. But it was different now. She had her hooks in him. She was a liability. Being close to people was always dangerous in his line of work. Anyone you cared about could—and would—be used against you. If this was still the simple buy bust he’d set out to do, how he felt about her wouldn’t be an issue. But now, with the looming deal to be Victor’s partner, how long would he stay with the DEA? Until they took down not only Victor, but the Jiménez family. Matías’ window of escape was shrinking. As much as he wanted out, he wouldn’t leave the job undone. Could he close the door on what had started with Raven? Was that even possible? His heart throbbed painfully at the thought. He pressed his hand to the ache and took a deep breath. Her deception hurt, but being without her was worse. It was a fucking inconvenient place to be. He didn’t want to give her up, but if he really cared for her, he’d send her far, far away from this mess. There was probably a perfectly good psychological reasoning behind his attachment to her. She was a damsel in distress, in a dangerous situation and he could save her. What if it was all a product of their environment? Then why did he keep thinking about spending a day on the couch with her, watching TV? When he laid in bed next to her, and she drifted off to sleep, his fantasies took a decidedly domestic turn. Hell, even doing things like grocery shopping were appealing.

He strolled along the sidewalk and breathed deep of the ocean air. If he cared about her, he needed to end what they’d begun, but he didn’t know if he could do it. Was it wrong to want something for himself? He’d spent his life being whoever he needed to be to get the job done. The only thing he’d ever kept for himself was a suitcase of BDSM toys in a sterile apartment that held no personal touches. He stopped and let Níłch’i investigate a bed of plants. Victor’s people were backing off their watch. Maybe he’d passed some test tonight. Sometimes he had no idea what these bastards wanted him to be, but he’d done all right so far. “Come on, buddy, we need to get back inside,” he muttered to the dog. He felt a measure of guilt for keeping the doxie inside so much, but soon enough he could hopefully get him home. Or wherever Raven wanted to land. He picked Níłch’i up and carried him to the back entrance of the condo. The halls were quiet, not a soul in sight as he made his way back up to their apartment, with no further decisions made. Everything was as he’d left it, down to the seemingly random pile of sugar just inside the door. Only Raven and he knew to use the left one. Most people would use the right door. Matías unhooked the leash and took his time making a circuit of the rooms, checking them all and flipping through the security footage. Again, the only ones to approach their door—was them. This was a good sign that Victor was accepting they were who they claimed to be. That, or he had bigger fish to fry. What was going on between Victor and Oscar? He checked his burner phone and had a message from a 773 number. Everything’s getting set up. C U 2morrow. Matías breathed a sigh of relief. A five-minute phone conversation with Damien might sell this whole undercover operation. He just hoped the man could come up with enough goods to make the show believable. He was ignoring the problem at hand, which was the woman in the next room. If he loved her, which he was pretty sure that was his problem after all these years, he’d let her go.



C H A P T E R T W E LV E



Matías stood at the door to the bedroom. Raven lay curled up on her side, Níłch’i cradled to her chest and her dark hair spread out on the pillows. She glanced up at him, and though she tried to hide her inner turmoil, it was written into the lines and creases of her face. What had they become? Had she stripped him just as bare? When she looked at him, did she see as much confliction written on his face? He blew out a breath and undressed down to his boxers. Climbing into bed next to her soothed him. He lay facing her, watching her avoid his gaze and stroking Níłch’i’s fur. “Thank you for taking him out,” she said. “I needed to clear my head.” She didn’t reply, but he felt her dread. It echoed his own, but for different reasons. “I understand why you did what you did. I can even forgive it, but you have to promise me you’re done with Hokee.” “I am. I was.” Raven propped her head up on her palm. Her reply was so fast, and it rang of the same honesty with which she’d spoken earlier in the private play room. He believed her, even if he didn’t quite trust her. “Good.” He reached over and brushed her hair from her face. “I really am sorry. I was going to tell you this afternoon but…” “Next time you have something important to tell me, don’t wait.” She nodded. “And I shouldn’t have given in and punished you at the dungeon. It wasn’t the time or the place.” He’d lost it, and that was on him. Not her. “I shouldn’t have done it. Even if you asked me to. It wasn’t responsible or safe, and I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. What I did was worse.” “No. I could have hurt you, I was that angry. And that’s not acceptable.” Come to think of it, he hadn’t been that angry in ages. Deep down, he didn’t care about Hokee. The old man was nice and good to work with, but it was Raven who’d crawled under his skin. It was her he wanted to trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. “But I deserved it,” she muttered. “No,” he replied with more force than necessary. “BDSM, what we do, it’s dangerous, and should never be approached in a place of anger. What I did was wrong. End of story. And it’s not your fault I

went there, either. I was just so—angry.” “I get it.” “I don’t think you do.” He stroked the soft fur on Níłch’i’s muzzle. He could preach the gospel of honesty to her all he wanted, but if he didn’t follow it as well, he might as well save his breath. “I’m angry that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You’ll trust me with your body, but not the truth.” “I do trust you, I just…” She sighed. “I was afraid that if I told you, I’d lose you. Hokee is going to get caught. Me covering for him doesn’t fix things.” It was almost comical. In a series of messes, they were afraid of the same thing. Losing what they’d found. Each other. He lifted his gaze to her face, so open and honest. He wanted to believe she wouldn’t lie to him again, that what had happened was behind them. And yet. She’d done it once. She might do it again. He wanted to trust her, but could he? If he never tried, he’d never know. But if she lied to him again, it might kill him. She took a deep breath. “If you can’t forgive me—” “I do, it’s just…going to take some time. Maybe when this is all over we can do something. Just the two of us. No schedules or any of this.” He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it over her shoulder until it fell nearly to the mattress. “I’d like that.” “Me, too.” The tension eased from her face. God, she was beautiful. To him, she was perfection. “Okay, buddy, you’re going down now.” Raven picked up Níłch’i, who grunted and glanced to him for help. She deposited the dog on the floor and rolled back toward him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Fuck it. Holding her felt right, and in a world where he hardly knew himself, he wasn’t about to let the one thing he wanted get away. Matías kissed her, rolling her onto her back, pushing the sheets and blanket aside. She curved her hands around his head, pulling him closer. They craved each other, plain and simple. They’d admitted as much, so what was the sense in denying it? He settled on top of her, caging her between his legs and arms, pressing her down into the mattress with his weight. She was completely under his command. Another time, he might marvel at the beautiful, strong and independent woman who had come to him of her own free will, but right now all that mattered was feeding the need. She shifted under him, her feet moving restlessly in their cage and her arms squeezing him closer, as if they weren’t as close as two people could be. Kissing her was a religious experience. His heart raced faster than it had when he was a teen with his first crush. Something about her had him by the balls and wasn’t letting him go. He prayed he would last, show her pleasure and mend the fractures in their budding relationship. He shifted, sliding a knee between her thighs. She hooked her freed leg around his hip and tightened her hold on his shoulders. He felt the barest whisper of her nails as he rested his palm on her mound. She could do better than that. He pushed the material aside and slid his index finger into her wet heat. Raven’s eyes fluttered wide and she gasped, breaking the kiss. In her passion, her face telegraphed everything she felt. The tiny muscles tensed and relaxed, creasing her face as he stroked her and pushed her desire higher. He gently massaged her clit with his thumb and her spine arched, her head tipped back and she groaned as she dug her fingers into his shoulders.

“Damn, you are so wet,” he whispered against her cheek. “Do you blame me?” Her breathing stopped as he curled his fingers within her. “No. I’m just that talented.” She laughed, but it hitched into a moan. He was consumed with the desire to see her climax. He hadn’t gotten a woman off face to face in… years. It was a layer of vulnerability he never wanted to peel back, but with Raven, he wanted to experience all of her pleasure. Every last second of it. He curled his fingers, seeking that inner spot, the hidden seat of bliss. “Oh—oh!” Raven hissed and her nails raked over his shoulder. Matías groaned and pumped his fingers harder, twisting and rubbing her clit with each pass. He gave her the steady, driving pace, and watched her features. Her brows drew down into a line and the furrows grew deeper, her eyes squeezed so tightly shut. “Mm, come for me.” He nuzzled the side of her face and kissed the corners of her mouth. Her breathing hitched, and her body bowed toward him. Her eyes flew open and in their depths he saw his reflection. “Beautiful,” he whispered. She slumped against the sheets, momentarily spent. He sat up and drew her panties down her legs. Both of their underwear went sailing over the edge of the bed. He pulled open the nightstand and grabbed a condom out of the box he’d stashed there. “I like the way you think,” Raven said, her voice a low purr. He glanced at her as he ripped the packet open. She slid her hands up her stomach to cup her breasts, fingers teasing her nipples. “Matías, I need you.” Fuck. He palmed his dick. It would be far too easy to lose himself watching her touch herself. He wanted to be in her this time. She watched him roll the condom on in a quick motion. As she reached for him, he descended on her, forcing her thighs open and kneeling between her legs. He wanted her more than he wanted to finish this op. The thought momentarily froze him as his world adjusted. Raven grasped his cock, her hot little hands bringing him back into the moment. She guided him to her entrance, staring deeply into his eyes. As he pushed into her channel, joining their flesh, it felt as if they knit together on an elemental, spiritual level. When she breathed, he felt the shuddering of her lungs, and when his arms trembled, she caressed his forearms, as though she was aware of it too. Was she aware of his thoughts? He couldn’t tell if it was just him, or if she was as tied up as he’d become. But he wanted her. He withdrew and thrust, keeping the pace slow, savoring the feel of her orgasm-slick pussy around him. Her mouth opened and closed, emitting no sound, but he could feel the way her body wound tight, her muscles undulating and squeezing him. It felt damn good. With each thrust, her eyes fluttered wide, hiding nothing. A touch of fear, a lot of lust, and something tender. Matías wrapped her hair around his hands, bracketing her head with his forearms, and thrust harder, driving her to pleasure, determined to see her come a second time. She curled her legs around him, moving in time to his thrusts. Raven moaned, chanting words lost in her rapid breathing. Her hands coasted over his back and chest, down his arms and cupped his face, always moving. He bent his head and kissed her. He devoured her mouth, biting her lower lip as his control slowly dissolved, washed away by a woman who held the key to the person he’d forgotten. Her nails scored his shoulders, and he groaned. Raven buried her face in the crook of his neck—and bit him. She fucking dug her little teeth in and held on. He growled and pounded into her. She let go and he reared up, staring deep into her eyes, without

losing his rhythm. Her jaw dropped and she made little, helpless noises as she shifted below him, as if she were trying to get away and come closer all at once. Raven tossed her head back and screamed, her whole body tightening around him and her nails slicing into his arms. He didn’t relent. She’d found her pleasure, and in her bliss, he’d seen deeper into her soul than before. Her scream became a squeal and her head tossed back and forth on the pillows as he continued to make love to her. RAVEN’S BODY PULSED. EVERY movement of Matías’ cock in and out of her rubbed her nerve endings and sent her catapulting into a black abyss of pleasure. It was amazing—and too much. Yet she wanted more. Matías slowed, his hard cock still inside of her. He rested his forehead against hers, their breath mingling as he pushed hair off her face. “Why are you stopping?” she asked between breaths. Her brain wasn’t so far gone that she hadn’t missed his lack of release. “I can’t,” he said. “Can’t? Can’t what?” She blinked rapidly as guilt gnawed at her. Was it because of what she’d done? Was that a wedge between them now? Matías levered up on his hands, but didn’t look at her. Of course, he couldn’t. She’d lied to him, trampled his trust and now they were, what? Done? Over? His hair clung to his forehead, matted with sweat. “I can’t get off.” He pulled out of her and flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t orgasm? At all? Seriously? He’d done just fine earlier. “Is it me?” Had their breach of trust changed things that much? “No, it’s me. I’m just…not good with…never mind. Forget it.” “What? No.” She stopped his hands as he reached for the condom. The momentary sweet taste of relief was tainted by the idea that somehow, in all of this pleasure, Matías was left wanting. There was no way in hell he was making her orgasm—twice—and not getting there himself. They just had to figure out what worked. People didn’t always orgasm every time, though with him it was damn hard to imagine not coming so hard she broke something. He allowed her to draw his hands up to his chest, palms splayed over his ribs. Maybe he was just trying too hard. Perhaps…he needed to let someone else do it for him. Raven straddled his thighs, his still-erect cock between them. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach. So far, Matías had told her exactly what he wanted of her, but now it was time to please him. Could she? “Let me try.” She slid her hands up and down the V of muscle along his pelvic bones. Whatever he was doing to get that—he just needed to keep doing it. She traced the place where thigh met pelvis and stopped breathing. He didn’t give her permission, but neither was he stopping her. Raven grasped his cock and held it while she positioned herself over him. She shoved her nerves and performance anxiety aside. This was about Matías, and giving him a fraction of the pleasure he’d given her. His hands wrapped around her thighs, steadying her as she sank onto him. Something about sex with Matías made her feel dirty and good, all at once. She planted her hands on his chest and moved, up and down, tightening her internal muscles so she squeezed his length, from root to tip. At first, she watched him, noticing how the muscles in his face would tense and relax, how his mouth

worked without sound. His fingers dug into her thighs. Clearly, she had to be doing something right. She closed her eyes, shutting out his flat stare, and let herself enjoy the feel of him inside of her. She arched her back and leaned forward, using her hips to increase the pace. Her body was warm, her muscles pliant. She pressed her palm to the still slightly-sore breast, biting her lip when she felt the dull ache in her muscles. Matías pushed her hands aside and took both of her nipples between his fingers, pinching them to the point of pain. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut. Her internal muscles fluttered and her rhythm faltered. Matías lifted his hips, urging her on. She opened her eyes as she found her pace again, and found his gaze back on her, engaged and focused on her breasts. He stared at her with desire, and it didn’t matter if her breasts were small and her ass too big or his fake friends thought she was ugly. He wanted her. They moved in tandem, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. He continued to massage and torment her breasts, digging his fingers into her sides as she found just the right angle. He began to groan, and his eyes lose focus. Not going to come, my ass. She redoubled her efforts, squeezing his cock tight, fucking him as hard and fast as she could. Matías roared—there was no other word for it—and grabbed her hair. He pulled her down until they were face to face, and thrust. It was hard, rough, and he did it over and over again before ceasing to move. He groaned, and his muscles tensed as he climaxed. She panted for breath, determined to watch him through all of it, and she did, until he closed his eyes and relaxed. A feeling of smug satisfaction settled around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. He wasn’t the only one who could do the taking care of. He stroked a hand down her back and kissed her brow. She smiled at the tender gesture and closed her eyes, content to feel as though she were wrapped up in him, and nothing else mattered. She could live the rest of her life like this—at least in her fantasies. They stayed like that for several moments, neither moving or speaking, simply existing. Their relationship, however it was defined, had taken a hit. And she didn’t know what would come next, but she hoped it wouldn’t be the end. Matías’ phone vibrated and flashed from where it sat on the nightstand. He groaned and reached for it. She watched him tap the texts. “What is it?” She pressed a hand to her mouth as she yawned. “Don’t go to sleep now. We just got our marching orders.” He tossed the phone down on the bed and hugged her to him. “We need to be at the airport in a few hours. Victor wants to meet my fake buyer, so we’ve got to go get him.” She groaned and buried her face in his neck. What she wouldn’t give to stay here, like this, instead of going off to play drug lords. When this was over, he’d be lucky if she didn’t stuff him in her little plane and kidnap him. Now, there was a thought. MATÍAS STEPPED INTO THE grand foyer at House Surrender and instantly found it easier to breathe. Following his release from the hospital and throughout his recovery, he’d been a guest off and on at the unique BDSM retreat. It was a three-story mansion on the north side of Chicago, just off Lake Michigan. In fact, the third story had a smaller dungeon with glass windows facing the lake and many a sub had claimed that playing up there induced the sensation of flying. “Matías.” A big, black man stepped out of the administrative offices to the left. He spread his arms and grinned. “Damien.” There were few people in this world Matías cared to see more than a few times. Damien

was one of them. The two men hugged, slapping shoulders and talking over each other while more people filed out of the office. Damien clapped him on the shoulder and held him at arm’s length. “Not so sure about the longer hair, man.” Damien’s lip curled as he peered at Matías’ gelled style. “It’s part of the cover.” He shrugged. “Well, let me introduce you to everyone else. Wait.” Damien glanced over his shoulder. “Wasn’t there a woman with you?” “Raven’s outside with her dog. Thought it might be a good idea if we had a few moments alone.” “She has a dog?” “I didn’t mention that?” “No, man.” “Shit.” Matías scrubbed his face. He was slipping if he forgot an important detail like that. “We can accommodate a dog.” A tall Asian man, wearing black trousers and a long-sleeved shirt pushed up to his elbows, stepped forward. Dom Yamamoto was not a man who showed much emotion, but the corners of his mouth turned up. Barely. But the hint of a smile was there. “We’d appreciate that.” Matías shook their host’s hand and glanced at the others. They were all people he’d met that frequented the retreats. House Surrender was unlike any other BDSM establishment he’d been to before. “I think I know everyone else.” He did a quick round of handshakes and hugs, surprised at so many familiar faces, which included Damien’s girlfriend, Poppy. “Keeping it short?” he whispered as she hugged him surprisingly tightly for such a small woman. “Not forever. Just as long as he lets me.” She giggled and let go of him, running one hand over the close-cropped hair at the back of her head. Poppy was one of those rare people who brought the sunlight with her. During some of his darker moments, he’d sought her out, just to quietly sit near her. In those days, they’d both needed to heal after what they’d gone through, and Damien hadn’t begrudged him the time with her. “Is this it?” Matías asked. “Uh, well, Gio is on her way,” Damien said. Matías glanced between Damien and Yamamoto. He’d asked for Damien because the other DEA agent was part of the BDSM community and could pull this operation off in a way that was believable. Yamamoto, well, all Matías really knew was that he did contract work for the CIA, and even that much information about him had been hard to come by. “Is that a good idea?” Matías finally asked. He knew they needed a case agent, someone to be behind the scenes and in charge, but he’d hoped they could cut some corners. “It’s her or some new guys you wouldn’t like.” Damien shrugged and crossed his arms. “Look, I don’t like bringing her in on it either, but we know her. She’ll do the job better than anyone else.” “Have you explained the nature of this to her?” “Hell, no. I called her close to midnight and was lucky to get her to agree.” Matías groaned. “Why don’t the two of you work on your roles, and I will handle Gio?” Yamamoto said. “You sure about that, man?” Damien asked, shaking his head. A bit of shadow to Matías’ left moved. He glanced toward it and his gaze snagged on a woman nearly six feet tall, with her long hair pinned up into a bun. She wore the same black, knit-sheath dress as the rest of the House Surrender employees. When their gazes met, she smiled and glanced down. Lillian had always had a smile that seemed to invite him to know her secrets. They’d had fun together, but he hadn’t really thought of her since he’d left Chicago. Damn. That was callous. One of the front doors opened and he heard nails clicking on the marble. He turned toward the sound,

and found Raven standing just over the threshold, surveying the room, head held high, as if she belonged there. She was a queen. And when he looked at her, funny things happened inside of him. “You must be Raven.” Damien stepped forward, extending his hand toward her. Raven glanced from Damien to Matías and back. As if looking for permission. He wanted to laugh at the idea as soon as it came to mind. Raven wasn’t the type to ask. She’d do what she wanted and beg forgiveness later. But so would he. Matías glanced at Lillian and smiled, but there was no feeling there. They’d had fun, she was a nice girl, but she didn’t make him want to forsake everything he’d worked on. With Raven, it was a constant battle to not make the suggestion that they just fly away from it all. She had a plane, they could get clearance to fly wherever. It would be so easy. “Why don’t I show you to your rooms? Then we can get started on what we need to do tonight,” Damien said as Matías joined them. “Actually, we’ll just need one room,” Matías said. He knelt to scratch Níłch’i’s back. “Oh, okay.” Damien’s tone went up in pitch, clearly taken aback. “Lillian, please make sure that their bags are put in the corner suite,” Yamamoto said over the chatter. “Yes, Dom Yamamoto.” Lillian’s voice was barely above a whisper. Matías froze. That was not how he’d wanted to handle this. He wasn’t sure what he’d do, but Lillian deserved some respect. He straightened and caught a glimpse of Lillian walking away and around a corner, down a hall. “Do we know when Victor is arriving?” Matías asked Damien. “He and his crew took a commercial flight out of Panama City. They’ve got a layover in Dallas, and will be here this afternoon. We’ve got time to set up and practice, but you guys probably want a nap first.” “You have no idea,” Raven replied. Though she’d tried to play it easy for his sake, he had the impression she didn’t like flying in the early hours with almost no sleep under her belt. It wasn’t a good idea, but there’d been no other option. “Right, let’s go this way. Poppy, babe, coming with us?” Damien held his hand out toward the blonde and she stepped quickly to his side, taking his hand and smiling at him. Matías knelt and picked up Níłch’i to keep from staring, either at the other couple or Raven. He was in love with a woman he barely knew. She was his Dulcinea. Sure, she had feelings for him, but if he had to guess, he was far more attached to her than she was to him. It was not a good place to be, especially when he knew he could not trust her. And he had to.



CH A P TER TH I RTEEN



The four of them crammed into a small, cage-like elevator, and rode it up to the third floor. If he weren’t so tired, Matías would have preferred the stairs. The elevator was more like a pretty toy that served little function. Damien opened the gate on the third floor and led them to a familiar suite Matías had the pleasure of staying in when he’d visited. There was a front room, which could be a living room or play room, depending on how it was used. Nearly everything in House Surrender was outfitted for kinky purposes in some way. From the sofas having hooks and rings to allow for creative bondage, to the hard points hanging from the ceiling, there was no denying the intent of the space was for all manner of BDSM use. He’d found himself again in these rooms. For a while, he’d played with a steady stream of women, reacquainting himself with who he was within these walls. But none had held his heart. Not like Raven. Poppy led Raven through the suite. Already, the two women were putting their heads together and talking in low whispers as they entered the bedroom. What mischief would those two get into? “You don’t look happy,” Damien said. “I didn’t even think about Lillian still being here,” he said quietly. “She’s a big girl.” “I would have liked to handle this differently.” He shrugged. “Talk to her later. We’ve got a lot of shit to get straight before tonight, and she knows the score. Do you need some coffee? Something to eat before we get started with the run through?” They’d already schemed and planned for this set-up on the phone so there wasn’t much left to do besides practice. “Wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Matías sank onto the couch and scrubbed a hand over his face. “So. Raven. You’re a thing?” Damien sat on the coffee table, facing him. “Yeah. Victor saw her and…” Matías blew out a breath. Every other woman he’d tried to save while undercover had wound up dead, their screams stuck in his skull. “It was the only way I could think of to keep her safe.” “We could move you into another suite with two beds.” “Don’t be dumb, man. It doesn’t suit you.” Matías laughed. He knew how he looked at Raven. It had to be obvious to everyone else. “Okay, okay, so tell me how you not only got this guy to trust you, but made a fake girlfriend real in— oh—three days?” Three days? It felt like three years. “I don’t know. It just fell into my lap.” He shrugged.

“Be straight with me. What exactly is going on with this girl?” Damien knew his history of trying to save women. Matías had shared a few of his failed attempts on late nights when he should have kept his mouth shut. “She’s my pilot. We had to fake being together, and when Victor uncovered my kinks, I had to tell her.” “And she wasn’t freaked out?” “Oh, she was, but that passed quickly.” “So…what?” “She’s submissive. And I’m in love with her.” Damien blinked at him. If the situation weren’t so dire, Matías might laugh at the slack-jawed stare. “Uh, you sure it isn’t just a hero complex?” Damien asked. “That is when you want to be the hero and create situations to solve. I think I’ve got enough of those. You’re thinking Dulcinea Effect.” “What’s the Dulcinea Effect?” “Ever seen Don Quixote?” “In high school.” “Dulcinea was the woman Don Quixote fell in love with. She barely knew him. Barely acknowledged him. And he did everything he could for her.” “You sure this is the right time to fall for someone?” “Was it the right time to fall for Poppy?” “Hell, no.” Damien shook his head. “There you go. We can’t control who or when. I don’t even like admitting it, but you need to know if I…do anything strange.” “Strange as in?” Matías shrugged. “I have no idea.” Love could make a man do crazy things. Things he wouldn’t otherwise do. The door to the suite opened and Lillian stepped in, followed by a man pushing a luggage cart. The man kept his head down, and wore a thick, black collar around his neck. To a one, each individual who worked in the house also identified somewhere on the kink spectrum. The majority of them were slaves or submissives, who also did pickup play on their off hours with House guests. Matías stood, opened his mouth and closed it. He owed Lillian a big, fat apology, but he couldn’t speak around the knot of guilt. “Why don’t I show you where to put that stuff?” Damien stood and gestured to the man with the cart to follow him into the bedroom, leaving Matías alone with Lillian. The sound of voices in the next room was difficult to shut out, especially when Raven’s husky laugh cut through the sounds and Níłch’i barked. Lillian stared at him, eyes large and hands clasped in front of her. “Hi,” she said. “Hello.” He licked his lips. “About earlier, I—” “You don’t have to explain.” Lillian shook her head. Her smile dimmed. “I’m just happy to see you looking better. You are, aren’t you? Better?” That was Lillian. Caring. Nurturing. She’d put her enemy before herself. She’d seen him at some pretty low points, and stayed with him. “Yeah. I am.” “I’m glad.” She tilted her head to the side. “And she—is it…?” Is it what? “It’s new but…” He shrugged. How did he describe it? Were there words? “But she makes you happy.” Lillian held her head up, a little of the sparkle back in her eye.

“Yeah.” “That’s good. You deserve to be happy.” It felt as if a door had closed he hadn’t known was open. And he didn’t miss the draft. Lillian’s gaze went over his shoulder and her smile spread. He turned in time to see the others enter the living room. He turned, gazing out of the window, feeling like the kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It wasn’t a crime to talk to an old friend, was it? Except Lillian had hardly been a friend and Raven might not understand. “We’ll have some food brought up. If you need anything, just ring downstairs,” Lillian said as her companion pushed the luggage cart out of the doors. He could practically hear the unspoken questions, feel the gazes of Poppy and Damien. The four of them had gone out together, like normal people, to meals and a movie. Almost date-like. He waited until the door closed before glancing at his friends. Damien and Poppy had taken seats on a small sofa, while Raven stood just behind them, her arms crossed. He could practically hear her voice in his head demanding, Who the fuck was that? Well, answers would have to wait. They had an op to plan. VICTOR PACED THE LENGTH of the darkened room. His every fiber strained to hear something, someone— but silence surrounded him. He’d pulled it off, by some miracle. His bosses were now dead. It was way ahead of schedule, but he’d done it. In a few hours, the house the Jiménez family had rented would be discovered empty, no sign of the family. Once more, they would vanish into the wind, except this time they would never return. The cell phone on the lone table in the room vibrated. “Yes?” Victor said as he answered. “It is done,” a man answered. “All of them?” “Yes, sir.” “Even the little girl?” “All of them.” “Good. Pick a few of the people in charge at the factory to replace and let’s make this move final. I’ll be back in two days. I want the headquarters swept clean. I want no trace of the Jiménez family anywhere. Understand? This takeover must be total. Complete.” “I understand, sir.” Victor hung up the call and blew out a breath. Soon, the world would be within his grasp. RAVEN WOKE UP TO an obnoxious beeping and someone pounding on the door. She sat up, glancing around a luxuriously appointed room and tried to remember which country she was in. Scratch that. What continent was she on? She peered at the stationary on the nightstand. Chicago. The kinky house. She glanced at the clock. Almost six. “Shit,” she muttered and tossed the covers back. She grabbed a throw blanket and wrapped herself in it while she shuffled to the door to the suite. The crate was empty. Níłch’i was gone, so she could only imagine that Matías had taken him. She opened the door and the petite blonde woman from earlier stood on the other side. She wore a pretty, dark-blue dress and heels. Simple, classy, and sexy without going over the top. What was her name again?

Flower something. Poppy. “Hi, sorry, did I wake you?” Poppy cringed, but even that expression was pretty. “My alarm just went off.” Raven ran her fingers through her hair, still slightly damp from her shower earlier. “Want me to come back later?” “Nah, come on in.” Raven stood back and let Poppy into the suite. “So, what can I expect tonight?” She’d listened to Matías and Damien talk, but it might as well have been another language. Her eyes had begun to cross, and she’d almost fallen asleep before the other couple left. She’d held it together long enough for a shower before she crawled into bed with Matías and Níłch’i, but that was it. “Well, the Columbians got here about half an hour ago. The staff is getting them settled, and in a little while they’ll serve dinner. We don’t have to be there. Dom Yamamaoto is putting on a show for them, lots of mostly-nude slave girls and body sushi.” Poppy wrinkled her nose. “This is a thing we’re doing?” “Not us, just the pretend buyers, Matías and the Columbians.” “And they’re going to be served by naked women?” Raven’s knee-jerk reaction was to march downstairs and drag Matías back upstairs. Poppy paused on their stroll through the living room. “I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly normal for you.” “No, it isn’t.” He hadn’t even asked her. “They aren’t completely naked, if that helps.” “Not really. You’re okay with this?” Poppy shrugged. “They’re boobs. I don’t have a problem with Damien looking at a pair of other women’s breasts. He just can’t touch.” “I’ll get over it. I have to.” Raven stalked into the bedroom and glanced around for the suitcases. They were tucked into a wardrobe, along with another large bag she had no memory of packing. “Can I do anything to help you?” “I want clothes.” She wrestled the suitcase out of the wardrobe and hefted it onto the bed. “Do I need to show up at all?” How was she supposed to dress? Was there something else going on tonight she needed to be ready for? She couldn’t remember very well. “Yes. After dinner they’re bringing in more people for a cocktail hour, after which we’ll all go to the dungeon. The idea is to let the Columbians drink, and then apologize and tell them there’s a no playing or touching after drinking rule.” “Sneaky.” “Pretty much. After that, there will be some play.” Raven remembered a discussion that they were hoping the Columbians would set a date for Matías to see their factory tonight after being impressed with the quality of the buyers. “What do I need to do? Can you just tell me?” She sat down on the bed, still foggy headed and tired. “Wear a pretty dress. Smile. Look nice.” Poppy sat down on the other side of the bed and curled her legs under her. Raven chewed her lip. “Do you have any other questions?” “Probably, but I’m not awake enough to have any.” Raven sighed and dragged her fingers through her hair.” “Damien said you were kind of thrown into all of this.” “This as in the undercover thing? Or this as in the BDSM thing?” Raven studied the other woman. “Both?” Poppy chuckled. “Was Matías your first?” Poppy slapped her hand over her mouth. “You do

not have to answer that.” “I’m guessing you mean first kinky experience?” Raven laughed. “Yes, sorry.” Poppy blushed. “Yeah, he popped my BDSM cherry.” “I want to ask you so many questions.” Poppy pressed her hands to the sides of her face. “Why?” “Because I can’t even begin to imagine what all of this must be like. You’re on a…I feel silly calling it a mission, but that’s what it is. And then you get roped into all of this. Was there rope involved? Rope is good. You should try rope.” She waggled her finger at Raven. “Try…rope?” “Yes. I hadn’t until Damien, but I really like it.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Poppy blinked at her. “You totally got tossed into the deep end.” “Uh, yeah.” “And you don’t have any questions?” Poppy drew her legs up under her, practically bouncing on the bed. “Oh my God, okay, okay. What should I wear tonight?” Raven turned her suitcase on its side, dumping out the small fortune in clothing she’d bought while in Panama City. “Do you think you’ll play tonight? Or just hang out?” Poppy began sorting through the clothes, dividing them into piles that had no rhyme or reason to Raven. “Well, I’d like to play. Do we have to do it in the dungeons?” “No. That’s just where some people like to do it.” “Will you?” “Probably.” Poppy shrugged as if it were no big thing. “Really? It’s not like…weird? To have people watching you, I mean.” Poppy stopped and seemed to ponder the question for a moment. “It was in the beginning, but now it’s normal.” “Do you have sex in front of people?” “Oh, no. I mean…” Poppy’s cheeks began to grow rosy and pink. “I have orgasmed in public, but we haven’t had sex in front of people. Not that there’s anything wrong with doing that, it’s just not for me. But if you want to—” “Not my thing.” Raven slashed her hand through the air. She didn’t even have to think about that one. “Whew. Okay, then. Extracting foot from mouth. How about something hot on the outside, and sexy on the inside?” “Who was the woman earlier?” “Woman? What other woman?” Poppy’s answer was too nonchalant. “The woman in the black dress. The one Matías was talking to.” “Uh…Oh, her!” “You’re doing a crappy job of covering for him.” Raven crossed her arms. “Look, if you ever decide to get out into the BDSM community, you’ll learn it’s small.” Poppy dropped her hands into her lap and sighed. “People date, have relationships and hook up. Inevitably you’re going to run into someone your partner has been with. After a point, you get used to it.” “So she was his—what? Girlfriend? Play partner—that’s what you call it?” “I think you should talk to Matías about it.” Poppy cringed. Did she have any right to? What were they to each other? They’d fucked, they’d played and last night…that was more, but did it make them anything to each other? She blew out a breath, running her hands through her hair yet again.

“Relationships are hard,” Raven said. “They are. I vote red bra with the black over lace, and matching panties. This silk slip. And this burgundy dress. Not a bad wardrobe for picking it up on the road.” Raven accepted the bundle of clothing. Did she change here, or the bathroom? Well, in a matter of hours, clothing would be a thing of the past. She dropped the blanket, leaving herself clothed in one of Matías’ T-shirts and began dressing. “How did you get involved in all of this? This as in the mission.” Poppy grinned. “My grandfather usually flies for Matías, but he wasn’t feeling well, so I came instead. Lucky me, huh?” Raven pulled the T-shirt off and snatched the slip up. “Wow.” Poppy’s eyes grew round. “What?” Raven tugged the slip on over her head. “I do fifty crunches a day and my stomach does not look like that.” “Yeah, well, my boobs don’t look like yours, either.” “Want to trade? Because I’d so take your stomach and ass over my boobs.” “You sure your boyfriend would be okay with that?” “Oh, hell no, he’d hate it, but he’s not the one who has to find clothes to fit these things.” Raven tossed her head back and laughed. How was it women could always nitpick themselves to pieces? When she looked at Poppy, she saw a woman with the ideal body type. And yet, Poppy was envious of her. It was kind of weird, but nice. Raven’s nerves settled a bit. “Help me with the zipper?” Raven turned around and Poppy zipped her up. “I guess make-up is necessary, too? What are we doing for dinner?” “Oh, I think we’re eating with Gio. That—looks amazing.” “Thanks. Gio, she’s the—case agent?” Raven gathered her small collection of drug store make-up and the two went into the bathroom that could fit probably eight people. The size of the suite was a little ridiculous for two, but then again, she wasn’t the greatest judge of space. She lived in a room that was intended to be a storage closet. “Yeah.” “How’d she take all of this?” “I don’t really know, but I would imagine there was a lot of cursing going on. Damien wasn’t thrilled with the idea of telling her, but they had to bring someone in. I don’t know. Mostly Damien’s worried about our private lives getting out. I don’t think Gio will. I mean, they’ve been partners for a long time, so I would hope she’d, I don’t know, be circumspect on their reports.” It was a whole world of problems Raven hadn’t even considered. For her, no one cared what she did when she was out of the cockpit. People just wanted their fields dusted. “What do you think you guys will do when this is over?” Poppy asked. “No idea.” Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? Thinking of Matías made her itch to know what he was doing. Where he was at. She grabbed her cell phone, tapped out a quick text, and sent it before she could over-think the simple action. “How long have you been flying?” Poppy hopped up on the vanity, crossing her legs. “Since I was fourteen, so fourteen years, fifteen in about eight weeks.” Raven’s phone chimed and she snatched the phone back up, but the text bounced back as undeliverable. What the heck? “That’s so neat. I used to want to learn how, but it wasn’t very practical. Something wrong?” “Matías’ number isn’t working anymore.” She double checked it just to be sure, but all the other messages they’d traded had gone through fine. So what was the deal now? The door to the suite opened and she heard the unmistakable sound of a dog’s panting breath. “How about you come by my room when you’re ready? I’m across the hall. Can’t miss it.” Poppy slid off the vanity and made a quick exit.

Raven stared at her reflection, trying to decide if she wanted answers enough to ask for them. The problem with demanding an explanation was that sometimes you heard more than you wanted to. Like what had happened when she’d cornered Hokee. Part of her wished she was still ignorant of what was going on. Life would be so much easier. “Hey.” Matías filled the doorway, leaning against the wall. He wore a light gray suit this time with a blue shirt and sapphire tie. He gave her a slow once over. “You look—beautiful.” “Thanks.” All at once, her nerves were back. “I tried texting you but it didn’t go through.” “Oh, we needed to change burner phones. Here, I was coming up to give this to you. I already programmed my number and a burner for Damien into it.” He handed her a little gray phone. Simple. No frills. Disposable. “Okay.” She rolled the phone around in her hand. Matías grabbed the phone from the vanity and in a matter of seconds had it in six different pieces. He had the dismantling of his life down to a fine art. When they were done, would he toss her like the phone? “Who is Lillian?” She hadn’t meant to ask the question, but it slipped out while she was preoccupied. Or maybe she really wanted to know. Whatever the reason, she couldn’t take it back now. Matías turned toward her, brows drawn down, almost as if he didn’t recognize the name, but she knew better. She’d seen them talking and his guilt had eaten through the front he’d put on for everyone else. “Don’t lie to me,” Raven said. “I’m not, I just…I wanted to handle this whole situation better, and I failed.” He blew out a breath. “She was a play partner I dated for a while, but it didn’t work out.” “Why?” “Because…I don’t know. She wanted me to be someone I wasn’t.” Was that the fate she was facing? To fall head over heels for a man who would leave in the middle of the night, no phone number or calling card to help her reconnect? “Hey, what’s wrong?” Matías wrapped his fingers around her elbow, tugging on her until she faced him. “What are we? A cover identity? Lovers? Fuck buddies?” “Raven, take a deep breath for me, okay? The stress of all this is starting to get to you.” He cupped her shoulders and slid his palms down. “That happened yesterday. Today, I want to know if I should expect to wake up tomorrow or another day and find out you’re gone.” She pulled her arms out of his grasp. He opened and closed his mouth before glancing away. “I don’t know what we are,” he said finally. “Great.” She turned toward the mirror. If she had to go through with this tonight, at least she’d look her best. “Hey, don’t do that.” He stepped in close, crowding into her personal space. “We haven’t had time to sit down and talk about it, so excuse me if I don’t have a label for us.” He turned her once more to face him. This time he cupped her chin in his fingers. “When all this is over, we’ll figure it out, but until then we stick to the cover story. It’ll be easier. Then, we can figure out what we want later.” But what if she wanted the fictional version to be real? What then?



CH A P TER FO U RTEEN



Matías sat near the middle of the long, formal dining table. To his right sat Victor, and across from them, Damien and Yamamoto. It was just the four of them. None of the goon squad or the other players in this staged drama. The servers moved around them, silent on bare feet, carrying platters of food. Yamamoto had outdone himself. They had a small army of staff serving them, the women in only the skimpiest of outfits. Victor spoke in halting sentences, his attention caught on the women. “Tell me about your Chicago business,” Victor said while he watched a curvy red head refill Damien’s water glass. “Things are changing,” Damien said slowly, staring at the table. He played a convincing part, but Matías didn’t think Victor was all that interested in Damien as a buyer. Yamamoto picked up his glass, swirling the liquid as he spoke. “The landscape is different now. The Valdez Cartel held power by violence. The other entities must now prove their worth by measure to the Valdez shadow. It means violence and incidents that cut into the overall profit margin.” Yamamoto gestured to Damien, now Tyrone for the night. “Tyrone and I have come to an agreement. No one person can control an entire city. That was where Emilio stretched the Valdez power too thin. Tyrone and I want to divide the city into fourths, and find two more enterprising individuals to partner with. We could then squash out the competition and hold sway, free to charge whatever we like.” “What happens when one person isn’t happy with what they have, and they go after you?” Victor’s attention centered on the men across from them. It was too much to hope to distract him for long. “Well, that’s when you put a cap into the back of their head as a point to the next in line to remember their place,” Damien replied. He’d dressed in a slightly too-large suit with gold chains around his neck. It wasn’t tasteful at all, which was the point. Damien, or Tyrone, looked the part of a well-to-do thug. “Interesting business model. I’d like to hear how you’d each manage your quarters.” Victor turned in his seat and muttered something at the woman offering him the next course. Matías glanced up and had to do a double-take. How long had Lillian been in the room? He hadn’t even noticed her. She ignored Victor’s whispered comments and progressed to Matías’ plate, serving him with the same respect, but no difference, than the others. She deserved someone better than him. Her and Raven both. “Isn’t that so, José?” Damien’s voice sliced through Matías’ thoughts. José. José was him.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, what was the question?” “I said, there’s no better place to find quality entertainment than House Surrender. Isn’t that right?” Damien snickered. “Quite right.” Matías lifted his water glass and sipped. He had to keep his head anchored and stop thinking about Raven. She wasn’t even here and she possessed his thoughts. “How do you escape police detection so easily?” Victor abandoned his food and reclined in his chair, studying Damien and Yamamoto. “How do you think, man?” Damien scoffed. “We’ve got some boys in blue on the take. They look the other way.” “It also helps to have alternate methods of transporting product,” Yamamoto chimed in. “Like?” Victor asked. “Trade secrets.” Yamamoto merely smiled, which in his current mood was not a pleasant expression. “I don’t like secrets.” Victor frowned. “And I don’t like people who are strangers to me demanding entrance to my home, so we will both have things to not like.” Victor glanced at Matías, eyes widening. “Gentlemen, this is business. We don’t have to like each other,” Matías said on cue. “Exactly right,” Yamamoto agreed, his frosty tone lowering the temperature of the room. “Why don’t we call this meal finished and join the others? I could do with a break.” Matías stood and stretched. Over an hour of dancing around every topic and never once did Victor name the location of the factory in Columbia. But it was probably too much to hope that Victor would tell him. The group exited the dining room and moved into a salon decorated almost entirely with Japanese artwork and furniture. There were four Nyotaimori, or body sushi, stations set up, each featuring a lovely woman, completely shaven and nude, with a variety of rolls strategically positioned all over their chests, stomachs and legs. Their other pretend buyers and associates were mixed into the crowd, some selecting sushi from the human buffets, along with Poppy and Raven who stood out like brilliant gems in a sea of black. The rest of Victor’s entourage was also present, and they swarmed him within moments. “Yamamoto—that’s Japanese, isn’t it?” Victor was showing a clear preference for Dom Yamamoto. Not surprising, since it was the Japanese moving in to take over the real criminal power in the city. “It is.” Yamamoto surveyed the room, like a king taking in his subjects. He certainly played the role well. “Might I assume you’re related to Seiichi Yamamoto?” Victor accepted the wine glass one of his goons offered him as they merged with the rest of the crowd. Warning bells went off in Matías head. Who was Victor drawing connections with? And why did the name Seiichi sound so familiar? “Seiichi is my eldest brother,” Yamamoto replied. “Funny thing. We have been trying to build a relationship with the Yakuza for several years now.” Victor swirled his wine before sipping it “Brothers are like both hands. They should help each other in good times, as well as in bad. Have you met my brother?” Yamamoto directed a withering glare at Victor. He slowly raised his hands, palms up. “No, I have not had the pleasure.” “There would be no pleasure, I assure you. There is a reason Seiichi was sent to America instead of being kept at home.” “Why is it you are here?” “What business is it of yours?” Yamamoto turned, dismissing the conversation and strode away from them, the crowd parting like water around him. “Damn, man.” Damien whistled and shook his head. “No one ever told you not to talk family around

the Japanese, did they? Listen, don’t worry about Seiichi. He’s our problem. Not yours.” “He’s very much my problem, should we all decide to do business together.” Victor glanced between them. Matías’ shirt collar was damp. Why hadn’t he known about Yamamoto’s ties? How had that not been brought up in their briefing? Gio was no doubt cursing up a storm, wherever she was. Not that he could blame her. This was a fuck-up of epic proportions. “Come on, let’s show you the entertainment for this evening.” Damien led their group through the salon, down a hall and into the main floor dungeon. As far as the dungeons in the house went, it was the smallest, able to accommodate at most forty people. With their extra bodies, the house staff and the Columbian guests moving in and out, it was a decent gathering. There were a few people already set up and playing. It had been difficult to convince them to attend, and Matías knew Yamamoto and Damien had to have called in a lot of favors to put this together. Matías could only hope and pray that it worked. “Tell me, José, how did you find a place like this?” Victor took a seat in an armchair near a busty woman being tied in an elaborate rope harness. “Friends of friends.” “Don’t lie, man.” Damien chuckled. “I got him an invite. My girl and I come here a lot.” “Your girl?” Victor’s brows rose. “Yeah.” Damien glanced around, then pointed. “See? Over there in the blue dress with Raven?” “She’s very—lovely. José, you should let Tyron pick your women. He has good taste.” Matías clenched his fists. “Shoot, I just got lucky.” Damien’s smile was every bit genuine. The man was ridiculously in love. Matías glanced back at the women who must have preceded them into the dungeon. Poppy and another woman appeared to be going through a toy bag with Raven. They’d pull out a toy, swing it around a bit and let her see it. He needed to be there, by her side, but he also couldn’t leave Victor. It was damn inconvenient to want her constantly. Was this what being in love was like? This urge—need—to fill his time up with the other person? RAVEN DUCKED INTO THE women’s restroom off the main dungeon, her nerves clamoring around inside of her. Poppy wanted her to try a few things. With her friend. A woman. None of it made sense to Raven, not when she was strung this tight. She glanced around the bathroom, taking in yet another opulent display of wealth. Even the toilets were fancy, gold-plated things that auto-cleaned themselves. It was a bit too rich for her taste, but so long as it flushed and the water ran, Raven was happy. The bathroom door opened and a tall, elegant woman in lace panties and nothing else stepped in. Raven’s gaze zeroed in on the woman’s face reflected in the mirror. Lillian. Raven turned to face her, jealousy and curiosity warring against each other. “I’m not entirely sure what to say right now.” Lillian paused, one hand on the wall, her gaze on Raven. “You don’t have to say anything.” Raven shrugged. It was hard not to compare herself to Lillian, especially considering the other woman had it all hanging out there for the world to see. Physically, there were a few similarities. Judging by the dark, purple stripes on her skin, she’d already begun playing. “I feel like I should.” Lillian wrapped her arms around her and took a few steps toward Raven. She stopped near the sinks, resting her hip against the marble vanity. “He likes you.” Raven stood a little straighter.

“I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t care for him.” Lillian took a deep breath and looked up at the lights. “There’s something sexy about a man like him. You know? It makes you want to be his leading lady. I thought after I met him, I could fix him, but—he—doesn’t want to be fixed. I realized when I hadn’t heard from him in about six weeks that it was really over. He told me from the beginning how it was, so I should have known. I’m rambling, but—he never looked at me how he looks at you.” Raven shifted her weight from foot to foot. She couldn’t hate Lillian. She understood her. They were too similar. Lillian might not say it, but she’d been in love with Matías, too. Except she probably hadn’t lied to him. “I might have screwed up. With him I mean,” Raven said. “Say you’re sorry.” Lillian shrugged again. “I have. I’m not sure if it’ll make a difference.” “He’s reasonable.” Lillian dropped her hands to her side. “Can we be okay?” “I’m not sure I’m going to get used to this whole being friends with the exes thing.” “Well, technically I was never anything more than a play partner. I was the only one in a relationship and it was all in my head.” “I don’t get that. I mean, how do you do this stuff, and not get…emotional.” “I’m not sure there’s an answer. That’s one of the things I like about kink. I grew up in a family that didn’t hug, you weren’t allowed to cry, and there was no happiness. Playing, it helps me be okay with having emotions, and that’s where I get myself in trouble.” Lillian smiled, and there was a sadness in her gaze. “Are you still in love with him?” Raven wanted to stuff the words back in her mouth, but they were already out there. Lillian seemed to consider the question for a moment. “I was infatuated with the idea of being in love with him, but I’ve learned that I never really knew him. When I met him, he was broken and guarded. I’ve moved on, I promise, to an equally unavailable man. My curse.” “That…sucks.” “It does.” Lillian scrubbed her palms over her face. “Sorry, I… I just finished a session with my current, unrequited lover and I’m going to have to end things.” “Why? Why not tell him?” “Because he’s in love with someone else.” “But…if he’s playing with you then…?” “That’s just it. We don’t kiss. We don’t have sex. It’s just play.” Lillian shrugged. “He told me from the beginning he’s in love with someone, so it’s not like I didn’t know, I just have this curse of falling for the most unavailable man in my life.” Raven stared at Lillian, so many questions knocking around in her head. How could she do that? How did it work? Why didn’t she fight for the man? But what really mattered, what she realized more than her questions was that Lillian was hurting. Her face was creased in sadness, her eyes were full of tears. She was strong in a way Raven didn’t know how to be. She struggled with her feelings, where Lillian owned them. What the hell. Raven crossed the space and wrapped her arms around the other woman. Lillian returned the hug, squeezing her tight. A sense of peace descended, and Raven took an easier breath. They stayed like that for several, long moments. Neither speaking, because they didn’t have to or need to. Lillian pulled away first, snagging a tissue off the vanity to blot her eyes. Raven searching the woman’s face for—something. Instead, Lillian smiled at Raven. She liked Lillian. She got Lillian in a way she hadn’t expected. Because of that bone headed man. “Give him hell, okay?” Lillian whispered.

“Are you going to be okay?” There was no good reason for Raven to feel the familiarity she did with Lillian, and yet, spirits recognized each other, so who was she to judge? “Oh, I’ll be fine. I get weepy after I play sometimes. Are you playing tonight?” “Poppy wants me to play with her friend Kyle, but I’m not sure about it. I’ve only ever played with— you know.” Raven leaned against the counter and shrugged. This whole exchange felt oddly normal. It was as though a sense of kinship laced them together. “Playing with friends is different than playing with lovers. With a lover, there’s a give and take, a push and pull. Playing with friends is about meeting a need, or having fun, sometimes trying new things. It’s different, but they all serve a purpose.” “And you? What is it you do?” “Here? I’m a house slave, something like hotel staff, I guess.” “So people can just…what? Play with you if they want?” “No.” Lillian chuckled. “It’s our prerogative if we play or not. I choose to. More than the others. Is that healthy? Maybe—maybe not.” “Why wouldn’t it be? Sorry, I’m asking a lot of questions.” “It’s fine. So, there’s this thing called sub frenzy. Or top frenzy. It’s chasing the high you experience when playing. You see it a lot in new people who will play with everyone and anyone. I’ve never really grown out of it, or maybe I just enjoy it. Either way, it means there’s always someone in my partner pool to fall in love with.” “Partner pool?” “It’s what I call the people I’m currently playing with.” “Oh. Well…how many do you play with?” “No more than ten, no less than three. More than ten and it gets hard to manage schedules. Less than three and…I’m going to do what I did with him.” “Oh.” “And just because those are my rules doesn’t mean they’re right for you.” Raven nodded, mulling things over. She wasn’t sure she’d ever really understand. RAVEN FLICKED HER THIGH with the tiniest of canes and hissed. “Ouch.” “Stings, doesn’t it?” The woman Poppy had introduced as her best friend, Kyle, held out her hand for the evil stick. “It does.” Raven pulled the end back once more and popped her leg with it. Yup. It stung. “I might like it.” “You and Poppy, you bitches love this thing. It’s not my favorite.” Kyle accepted the toy and put it back in her bag. “Oh, whatever. You like it, too.” Poppy rolled her eyes. “Not like you do.” Kyle waggled her finger at Poppy. Poppy merely laughed. “Okay, what else do you want to see? I didn’t bring a lot of stuff tonight because, well…” Kyle shrugged. She appeared to know what was happening, but Raven wasn’t sure if it was because everyone knew, or because Kyle was Poppy’s best friend. “Why all the kitchen utensils?” Raven asked. “Oh, my pervertables collection.” Kyle grabbed a bunch of spatulas, spoons and other common utensils and laid them on the table they’d confiscated for this show and tell. She laid the bundle out and picked up a plastic spoon, except the spoon part of it was larger and almost flat. “This is just a rice paddle. It’s really evil to use for spanking. These little bumps on this side? They’re really good for dragging across skin and giving someone a more extreme spanking.”

One by one, Kyle took Raven through the varied uses for the kitchen utensils. She’d never look at a spatula the same way ever again. The girls were opening her mind to the unorthodox use of just about everything she’d ever come into contact with. “Want to try anything out? Play with it? Do you have any interest in using it on me?” Kyle asked when they’d emptied the bag. Raven considered the last question. Poppy and Kyle had explained to her in greater detail that there were roles beyond the male Dominant and female submissive in their circles. Kyle was a switch, an interesting paradox of everything, it seemed like. While the idea of telling another person what to do sounded interesting to Raven, in theory …there was no desire in her to be the one doing stuff to another person. She was perfectly happy where she was, on the receiving end of things. Though she wasn’t sure she wanted more than one play partner, she also wanted to explore more of this part of herself. Her conversation with Lillian was on repeat in her mind. “I think I’d like to feel some of these. Is that okay?” She picked up the rice paddle and ran her fingers over the bumps. It didn’t seem all that bad. “Is your guy okay with that?” Kyle asked. “Why would I need his permission?” Raven frowned. Kyle glanced at Poppy, brows lifting. “What she means is, you and—José—have been playing together. He might not want you to play with anyone else without being asked about it,” Poppy explained. “I don’t need his permission to do anything.” If Raven’s hair wasn’t up, she’d have tossed it over her shoulder. Sure, she’d messed up and lied to Matías. She owned her mistakes. But in a few weeks—she could be Lillian. Another woman he’d discarded in his whirlwind lifestyle. Her heart ached for Lillian, and herself. “Okay,” Kyle said, drawing the one word out. “If that’s what you want to do. I just don’t want to get my head snapped off because some guy didn’t want to share his toys.” “I’m not his to share.” The words stung, but Raven knew there was truth to them. If he’d wanted her, he’d have at least admitted it earlier. Instead, he wanted to wait until this was all over to decide what they were. In other words, he wanted to have his cake and eat it, without committing to buying the whole thing. “All right, then. You want to do this over your clothes? Or take them off?” Kyle held out her hand for the paddle. The idea of being even semi-nude, despite the dimness of the room and the state of undress of the other players, still made Raven nervous. It was silly to play over the dress, though. It was expensive enough she didn’t want it ruined, and on the off-chance Matías let her keep the wardrobe, it might be the nicest thing she owned. “I think I’ll take the dress off, but keep the slip on. Will you get the zipper for me?” Poppy stepped in to help her out of the dress. The thin, black silk slip could have passed for a nightgown, but it at least covered her from thigh to breast, even if it didn’t feel like it. Kyle held two loops of leather in her hand and a couple of metal carabineer snaps. “Okay, I want you to stand facing this cross. These are suspension cuffs. They don’t fasten, they just slip around your wrists and give you something to hold onto. This way, if you want to get away, you slide your hands out and we’re done. But if you want to kind of fight back or have something to restrain you, they’re there.” Kyle clipped two blue loops of leather to the eyebolts mounted into the St. Andrew’s cross and held one out for Raven to see. Raven stepped toward the cross, eyeing the cuffs. Matías hadn’t restrained her yet, but it wasn’t that big of a deal, was it? She wiggled her hands into each loop and grasped the tail of leather, giving them a tug. The cuffs tightened a little, but held her securely. “You know the traffic light system? Red means stop. Yellow’s I’m not sure about this?” Kyle asked.

“Yes,” Raven replied. “Do you have any limits you want to tell me about? We aren’t going to do much, mostly sensation on your back, ass and legs, but if there’s something I should know—tell me.” “I don’t think so.” Raven shook her head. “Am I supposed to call you Ma’am?” “Oh, fuck no.” Kyle nearly bent over double laughing. “I don’t do the title bullshit unless it’s someone I’m really involved with. Kyle is fine.” “Okay.” Inwardly Raven breathed a sigh of relief. It felt wrong to call anyone but Matías ‘Sir’ or any other honorific. “Oh, and if you’re the type that needs to cuddle and be held after playing, that’s what Poppy is for. I’m not good at that stuff.” Kyle had a gruff personality, but Raven liked her abrasiveness. Kyle would let you know exactly where you stood with her, and there were no questions about it. “Sound good?” “Yeah.” “Give me a second to arrange everything, and we’ll get started.” Kyle turned around and stepped out of Raven’s field of vision. She could hear Kyle at the table, setting up and chatting with Poppy, which left Raven free to settle into the moment. From Raven’s position on the cross, she could look through the arms to see the rest of the dungeon. Her back was toward a corner, which gave her some measure of privacy. Considering some of the nude women playing though, she doubted anyone would recognize her. She kept her gaze away from the cluster of men at the farthest point in the dungeon, in an alcove of sofas. The lights there were lower, providing some anonymity for their criminal guests. Matías was there. In her mind, he watched her, but in reality, he was probably too busy to notice she existed. She was part of the story, a piece of the background, nothing worth paying attention to. It stung, but she shouldn’t have expected—or hoped—for more. She could only blame herself for creating a budding romance in her head. “Okay, ready?” Kyle asked from directly behind her. “I am.” Raven blew out a breath and shoved her nerves aside. “I’m not going to tell you what I’m using on you. You have to guess what toy it is, and when you do, we’ll change it up.” Kyle grabbed the hem of her slip and pulled it up, exposing her bottom. She smacked one cheek then the other, repeatedly. Raven grasped the leather strap, trying to hold back her yelp of surprise, but it came out through her clenched teeth anyway. “The rice spoon. Paddle. Rice paddle.” Raven tripped over her words getting it out. “You’re right.” Kyle stepped to the side of the cross and showed her the white paddle. She grinned and turned toward the rest of her implements. “Okay, see if you can tell me what…this is.” Raven took a deep breath. She could hear movement behind her, but there was no whoosh like with the flogger or belt. A single stroke of white-hot pain licked up the back of her left thigh. Raven screamed, arching her back and kicking her foot up. “Hey, no kicking.” Whatever Kyle was using, she flicked it against the back of Raven’s ankle. The pain was immediate, sharp and bright. It registered at that uncomfortable line between pain and pleasure. She pressed her thighs together, unable to determine if she liked it, or if it was the most evil creation in all the world. Evil. “Evil stick!” “Damn, you’re too good at this game. I’ll just have to pick something harder…” Lillian was right. There was a different feel to this experience than with Matías, but there was no denying that she liked it just the same.

MATÍAS PEERED THROUGH THE people at the scene across the dungeon. He couldn’t see what Kyle was doing, but he had a perfect view of Raven’s face as she tensed in pain and threw her head back in laughter. His fist curled and uncurled. When he got his hands on her… “Hey, José, man, can I get a word with you?” Damien’s voice sliced through the conversation, arresting Matías’ attention. “Sure.” Damien nodded toward the archway leaning to the terrace over the gardens. “Excuse us,” Matías said to the group at large. Victor merely nodded at him, as if he were the keeper of them all. Matías and Damien strolled through the archway. A few people had dispersed to here for conversation. It was amazing the crowd Yamamoto had pulled together for this. “You’re slipping,” Damien said in a low voice as they exited onto the terrace. In the daylight, the gardens were a work of art. At night, it was full of looming shadows. On some of the largest retreats, Yamamoto would have a lighting ceremony and gas lamps illuminated the gardens. He hadn’t seen one of the ceremonies, but if they were something Yamamoto had put together, it would be breathtaking. The man had a flare for the dramatic. “I know.” Matías knew it, but he’d hoped he was able to hold it together a little while longer. “What’s wrong?” Damien asked. “Raven.” “What’s wrong with her?” Damien’s brows rose. “Not wrong with her. Wrong with me.” Matías sighed and leaned against the banister. “Oh. I didn’t realize it was that bad. Kind of quick, don’t you think?” Damien rested his hip on the rail next to Matías. “You’re one to talk.” “Okay, okay. I’m just worried about you.” Damien held up his hands. “Someone should be.” Matías scrubbed his face. He’d plunged down this slippery slope and there was no going back. He was in love with a woman he might not be able to trust, and one who didn’t know the rules. Like, No playing without Sir’s permission. “How can we fix it?” Take out my heart? “I’ve got to get my head into the op. It wasn’t supposed to be deep cover like this. I wasn’t really ready. I thought I’d be on a beach, sipping a beer by now.” “Game face,” Damien whispered. Matías shoved his problems deep down. “I’m good. Now, about that deal?” Matías pitched his voice lower. “I don’t know, man. I’m just not sold on this guy.” Damien shook his head and glanced toward the door. Matías followed his gaze and found Victor standing in the doorway, his face in profile, lit by moonlight. “José, a word?” Victor said. “We’ll finish this later.” Damien held out his hand and performed a series of palm slaps before making his stage exit back into the house. “This home is lush and luxurious,” Victor said when they were alone. “Yamamoto spares nothing.” Matías leaned his arm on the banister and waited. Victor wouldn’t have followed him out here if there wasn’t something he wanted to say in private. The man slowly approached him, swirling another glass of wine. The man had put back at least two

bottles since the beginning of the evening, which was unusual. “Our time is growing short,” Victor said, switching to Spanish. “Is it? The evening just began.” “I’m not talking about tonight.” Victor placed his glass on the banister and leaned against it, surveying the gardens. “I’m concerned about your buyers. Tyrone, he’s a man of the streets. Maybe not a good business man. Not right for the job.” Shit. “I’ve seen Tyrone handle business. He’s worked his way up. He knows how to run things.” Victor shook his head, still not convinced. “I don’t like the Yamamoto ties. It would be a boon to be able to sell to the Japanese, but what if we sell to the wrong brother?” Shit and fuck. “I’ve been selling to these men for years. I’m offended, Victor. You come to me, wanting me to sell your product, to partner with you, and now you have issue with who I sell to?” Matías shook his head and scowled. “You said you wanted to meet my biggest buyers. Well, now you have.” “I’m concerned about the longevity of their business. Tyrone will be replaced by the next thug with some business sense and ambition. Yamamoto?” Victor shook his head. “The Japanese work differently than we do. If we make the wrong move with them, we might find ourselves with direct opposition. This is too important.” “You clearly don’t need me, if you already know who to sell to.” “That’s not what I’m saying. As my partner, we need to be able to discuss these things.” “I thought you were bringing me in to sell and deliver.” “That’s not just it.” Victor straightened and turned toward him. “We’re bringing many operations back in-house. We need people we can trust, that I can work with.” In-house? What the fuck? Seriously? Forty years ago, in the 70s, the cartels had a monopoly on the production process for heroin. They owned the fields, paid the workers, the harvesters, the trucks that transported the crop to the plant, everything up to distributing to their buyers. When the War on Drugs was declared that model of business became an easy target, so they’d chopped it all up. This way, if a plantation was taken out, it didn’t halt business. It was a smart way of operating—if expensive. Prices were rising across the world, and South America was a hotbed of activity. Were they trying to lower costs by controlling more of the process? “I think I’ve proven that I’m trustful.” He gestured to the house. Matías had allowed Victor into his most personal life. “You have, which is why I think you should come visit me. In Columbia. We’re building something new. You should be part of it.” Victor took a business card out of his suit pocket and jotted down a bunch of numbers on the back. “Here. We’re leaving. If you want to continue this partnership, you will have to act fast. Consider this your second interview.” Victor turned and strode into the house, leaving Matías with a string of latitude and longitude. A key. He’d just been given what he needed to turn this whole thing over to the DEA—and leave. Be free.



CH A P TER FI FTEEN



“I can’t feel my hands.” Raven shook out her fingers and palms, now free of the cuffs. She could still feel the leather, as though it still bound her wrists. “Well, you were yanking on them pretty hard. Give them to me.” Kyle took Raven’s hands in hers and rubbed them between her palms, massaging her fingers. “Do you want something to drink? Or maybe sit down?” Poppy asked. “I… don’t know.” Raven stared at the blonde woman. Her words barely penetrated the fog around her brain. “Dude, she subspaced hard. She’s not going to be able to answer your questions.” Kyle shook her head. “Come on, babe, let’s sit you down. Poppy, do you have your blanket with you?” “Yup. Right here.” Kyle guided Raven to a small sofa and urged her to sit, while Poppy wrapped Raven in a fluffy, pink blanket. Words slipped through Raven’s mind, too insubstantial to grasp. She felt good, sore, wonderful, happy, peaceful and restless all at once. The only thing not in complete harmony was that it wasn’t Matías who’d been doing it with her. And Kyle hadn’t let her forget who it was wielding the variety of toys in her arsenal. Not that it had been a bad experience playing with a woman—just different. The sexual aspect wasn’t there for her, though Kyle had disclosed before they played that she was bisexual. Raven hadn’t felt an inkling of attraction, though she had found herself wondering what some toys might feel like in Matías’ hand. “How ya doing, girlie?” Kyle knelt by her, peering up at her face. “You okay?” Raven nodded. Her jaw hurt, her tongue felt too big for her mouth and her throat was dry. “Drink this.” Poppy shoved a bottle of water in her face. The water was cold going down through her chest. The extreme temperature was enough to shock her out of her daze a bit. She glanced around, but the landscape of the room had changed. The lights were dimmer, the crowd was evenly dispersed among the equipment, and at the far side of the room—the cluster of people was gone. Matías had left. Had the mission taken him somewhere else? Would he leave her in Chicago? Raven sucked down a deep breath as the idea of Matías leaving stabbed her in the heart. She rubbed her chest as pain pricked her eyes. She loved him. It was crazy and stupid and totally the wrong time, but she loved him. And he might never be able to forgive her. “I don’t do tears,” Kyle said, backing up.

“Oh, honey, go on,” Poppy murmured to her, rubbing her back. Raven’s chest shuddered. “Sometimes, when we play, it brings strong emotions to the forefront. It’s totally okay to cry.” Poppy continued to stroke her hair and be a comforting presence next to her. Raven had never found comfort in tears. If Matías left her because of her deception, she’d deserve it. She might not like it, it would break her heart, but she would know what not to do again. She drank deeply from the bottle, staring blankly at nothing. She got it. Lillian’s words made sense, but only in the emotional fog of Raven’s over-stimulated mind. Playing with Kyle was different, and not at all. Raven wasn’t sure what it all meant. “Raven.” She focused on the tips of two shiny shoes against the paler marble. The back of her mind noted his tone, that it bespoke of danger, and yet…she didn’t care. Matías cupped her chin, tipping her head up. “She went under hard,” Poppy said, one hand on Raven’s shoulder. “I can see that.” Matías knelt and lifted her bottle of water to her lips. “Take another drink?” She wasn’t thirsty, but his tone was softer. Kinder. “How’d it go?” she asked. “Good.” “Good. I think I’d like to go upstairs now.” Away from the eyes, from the audience and where she could unpack her thoughts. Even if it meant facing Matías and the reality of what they were. MATÍAS ESCORTED RAVEN INTO their suite, neither speaking. Even once he shut the door, she still walked away. Raven strode past him into the bedroom. They’d paused by the play space long enough to grab her shoes and dress, but she hadn’t put either on. He followed in her wake as she dumped them into her suitcase and then stood there in that thin black slip and a little streak of mascara on her cheek. He wanted to grab a wash cloth and clean her face off. If she cried, he wanted it to be from the pleasure he gave her. The tears didn’t offend him, but they were a mark against him. She’d given herself to another, if only in play. It wasn’t a rule they’d agreed on, so it wasn’t a transgression worthy of punishing her. He had no right to be upset or territorial. She’d tried to clarify their relationship earlier and he’d put her off. That was on him, and he wouldn’t make that mistake again. He was…possessive of what was his. And where she was concerned, he wasn’t rational. “Raven—” “I think I should sleep somewhere else tonight.” She dropped her hands to her sides, facing him but staring at the bed. “What? No. Why?” He gaped at her, shock slapping him in the face. “Because…Lillian loved you.” She lifted her gaze to his. There was so much emotion there, he couldn’t sift through it to understand what had happened. “She didn’t say it, but I could tell. She loved you, and you left her. Did you even say goodbye?” “We didn’t have that kind of relationship.” “Well, she did. And you were her Dominant. You talk about how you take care of your partners, and then you left her. I don’t want to be Lillian. I don’t want to fall in love with you, with this, and be left with a broken heart…I think…I think it’s best if we pull back and put some space between us.” “No.” Raven’s eyes widened.

Matías stalked around the bed. She tracked him with her gaze, turning to face him, as if he were some dangerous animal after her. A small voice in the back of his head screamed to put the brakes on, give her the space she was telling him she wanted, while that primal half of him that recognized her as his took over. His fingers itched to touch her, but she flinched when he reached for her. He dropped his hands to his side, wanting to hold her, to make her understand, but the words and ability to communicate such a thing—he didn’t know how. “I don’t think—” “What about what I think?” he asked with more force than he intended. She opened and closed her mouth. “You get to decide what’s going on and that’s it? No discussions? Just you?” He curled his hands into fists. How he felt didn’t count? Her eyes were open wide, but she made no reply. Least none he could hear. “That’s unfair. Lillian and I had an agreement. She knew we were only play partners. I told her not to expect anything more from me. I knew she had feelings for me, which is why I stopped seeing her, because things changed from what we agreed they would be. Maybe it wasn’t the gentlest way to fix things, but I wasn’t in a place to let her down easy. I could barely take care of myself, much less her.” He pushed his hands through his hair. During his recovery, he’d suffered flashbacks of the atrocities he’d experienced, and along the way, he’d truly lost himself. He’d been adrift without an anchor, and Lillian just kept pushing him out to the ocean, wanting things from him he hadn’t been able to give her. “Fuck, I could barely handle myself and my own shit without having to be this fake version of myself around her. It got to a point that I had to become someone else just to be with her.” He stared deep into her eyes, wanting to upload everything in his head to her, to make her understand what he couldn’t say. “That’s what’s different about you. I can be myself with you. You don’t push me to be someone else.” You are mine. I love you. “How long does this last, then? Tonight? A week? Until this thing with Victor is done? I can’t—this whole thing we’re doing—it isn’t me. I don’t fit.” Raven’s expression hadn’t softened. If anything, her shields were up. He edged closer, and this time when he reached for her, she swayed toward him. Matías pulled her to his chest, squeezing her tight. “But you fit me,” he said. “Not funny.” She snorted and pushed at his chest. “I’m not being a dude, but yeah, we fit that way, too. I mean—you get me. We fit, like a lock and key, like two puzzle pieces, like I don’t know how else to say it.” “Stop saying that.” Her voice cracked and it broke his heart. Matías stepped back and tipped her chin up with his fingers. “What’s wrong?” He’d move mountains to make her stop crying. “You can’t say stuff like that.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “Why not? It’s the truth.” “Yeah, but if I were—I don’t know—falling for you, and you kept saying that stuff. It wouldn’t help.” He stared at her studiously not looking at him. This crazy strong, amazing, independent woman not only submitted to him, but she was falling in love with him? He licked his lips and reminded his lungs to breathe. Another tear slid down her cheek. He brushed it aside and kissed the damp track. “I would say, keep falling. I’ll catch you.” Matías kissed the corners of her mouth and her lips. Raven stared at him, those big, brown eyes muddling through what neither of them were saying. He scooped her up and sat on the bed with her cradled on his lap, leaning against the headboard. She rested her head on his shoulder, hand splayed over

his heart. Could she feel it breaking? The idea of her leaving him was enough to shatter the pieces of himself he’d reclaimed. He knew that this was dangerous, that for a man with his lifestyle, any person who mattered more than himself was a liability. But life wasn’t worth living without people in it, and he’d been alone for far too long. Sure, she’d lied to him out of a sense of need he understood, and there would probably come a time when she’d lie to him again, but hopefully it was about small things. Like, surprise parties and coming home early. “I can’t do this if you’re going to leave me,” Raven said. “I have no intention of leaving you anywhere. Ever.” He stroked his hand through her hair. “Victor wants me to meet him in Columbia tomorrow to show me the factory. Once I know where it is, I come back, the DEA and Columbian army go in, shut it down, and it’s over. After tomorrow and some paperwork, I’m done. This is done, and we can go anywhere we want. How’d you like to go to Texas? We can get you some of those peaches. There’s a lot of cotton farming there. I bet a good crop duster could earn a living nicely in that area.” If they went to El Paso, he’d have a lot of time to make up for with his mother and brothers. He’d kept his distance to protect them, and they knew it. There’d be the guilt trip about not calling more often, but then they’d throw back a beer and it would be like old times. Hell, Raven wouldn’t have to work for a while, if she didn’t want to. He had enough saved up over the years to sit back and relax for a bit. Maybe they could travel, do the tourist thing. It was a beautiful dream—that required her participation. “What do you think?” he asked around the lump in his throat. “I think I’d like that a lot.” “Let’s do it, then. Me, you and Níłch’i.” “Where is he?” Raven sat up, glancing around for her dog. “Yamamoto said he was going to have someone take him out. I bet he’s being spoiled rotten.” He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. “Can we talk about tonight? Earlier?” “Which earlier?” “I want to talk about playing with Kyle.” “What about it?” He rolled the knee-jerk reaction around in his head, but it still rang true. “I don’t want to share. Not with a friend. Even a chick.” She was silent a moment before replying. “I’m okay with that, but the same goes for you.” “I’m not much into dudes.” “Whatever, you know what I mean. I’m—jealous.” “I like you being the jealous type. I like knowing you want me.” “I’m pretty sure wanting you hasn’t been an issue.” “Was it love at first sight?” “Lust, maybe.” Raven laughed. “I do like those jeans of yours, the ones with the hole in the seat?” He cupped her bottom and wiggled his finger in an estimation of where the hole rested. “I just got those. I’m a little bitter about it.” He smiled at her, and she smiled back, all the turmoil, heartbreak and pain gone. She seemed content, happy, just how he wanted her. “What did you and Kyle do? I couldn’t tell from across the room, and I had to leave before you guys were done.” He might not like that she’d played with someone else, but Kyle was a good Top. “She showed me her toy bag, and then we played Guess That Toy. I started out pretty good, but about halfway through I couldn’t get it right to save my life.” “Did she mark you?”

“Not really. At least I don’t think she did. Do you not want to talk about this? I mean, if you don’t like that we played together…” Matías took a deep breath and tamped down on his jealousy. It wasn’t as if Raven had shown any sign of being into chicks. “I’m fine that it happened with a friend, better that it was a chick. I’m more talking about in the future.” He was a little proud of not going all caveman on her over this. Look at him being rational when he’d much prefer to toss her on the bed. “Poppy says Damien lets her play with other people.” “He lets her play with chicks. Friends. People he knows, and he sits in on the negotiations and watches them play. They have a very specific arrangement because Poppy is a submissive switch.” Oh shit… “Do you want to switch?” “No.” “Good.” He breathed a sigh of relief. If she had wanted to switch, they’d have figured something out, but he wouldn’t have liked it. Damien as a better man than he was. “Show me your marks.” Raven slid off his lap onto the mattress and knelt with her back toward him. She pulled the hem of her slip up to reveal the red and black lace panties. A few thin, red lines crisscrossed her thighs, and there were several spots of color, but Kyle had left her relatively unmarked. He pulled his hand back and slapped the curve of her ass. Raven yelped and fell forward on her hands and knees, glaring over her shoulder at him. “Hey, you stuck it out there.” He grinned and her glare narrowed. “Ass.” “Is that any way to talk to your Dominant?” “Is that what you are? My Dom?” She sat down, twisting to face him. “Yeah, wasn’t that what we were talking about?” “I don’t know. I don’t know the language and rules of all this stuff. You have to spell it out for me.” “Okay, let’s be clear then.” He crossed his legs and reached for her hands. “I want to be your Dominant. Yours. No one else’s. That means what I say goes. And if you don’t like it—we talk about it.” “That sounds like a relationship.” “It is. It’s a D/s, power exchange, relationship. It’s what I do.” “So you aren’t my boyfriend, then?” “If that’s what you want to call me, sure. I want to take you on dates, get to know more about you, go out and do things with you, but now isn’t the time.” “I get that, I just…I guess I need to know what to call this, so I know how to feel about it.” “Feel however you want to. I’m here to catch you.” He squeezed her hands. This was it, then, they were together. What had begun as a cover to protect her was now real. He wouldn’t scare her by telling her he loved her. Not yet. Even if they both felt that way. She needed time, and he needed to get out of the DEA so he could take her on those dates. “If I wanted to do something, would we negotiate that?” Raven’s smile took on an impish cast. “Depends on what you want.” “Never mind. It’s stupid.” “No, no. Tell me.” “What if…what if I wanted you to tie me up, like totally immobile, and have sex that way?” “I’d say that sounds pretty hot.” “Really?” “Yeah. Any reason why?” “It was just this idea I had tonight. She had my wrists up above me, and I’d pull on them, but in my head I couldn’t get away. I just thought…about you. And that it would be really, I don’t know, sexy.” She

shrugged. “It sounds fucking hot.” He grinned. Oh the ideas he had…



CH A P TER SI XTEEN



Raven turned in a slow circle, taking in the upper dungeon. It had a name Matías had mentioned, but by then she had been in awe of the setup and not listening. The north and eastern walls were floor-to-ceiling glass. Starlight lit the landscape, and she could make out trees, other houses in the distance—and the lake. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Matías turned on a few lights, keeping it dim. It was strange, knowing they were here to fulfill her desire. She’d never had a sexual fantasy she wanted to make come true, and here he treated it as if it were the most natural thing to bring it to reality. There was an odd sense of anticipation fluttering in her stomach, as if she wanted and dreaded this experience at the same time. Would it be what she’d imagined? If it was better, where did they go from there? Did Matías have a similar fantasy? “Come here.” Matías stood at a wooden frame, the mysterious bag that had just appeared in their room at his side. She tiptoed toward him. The floor was some kind of woven fiber, and all along the walls were Japanese tapestries. Was Yamamoto trying to create a bit of home here? The man was mysterious and she didn’t have a clue what to think of him, except that there was a sadness to him. Yamamoto had more than secrets, he had ghosts haunting him. Matías knelt, unzipping the suitcase and propping it open in such a way the lid hid the contents from view. She stopped just on the other side and peered over, except he closed it. “No peeking.” She hugged her arms around her and took a step back. The heightened anticipation made everything sharper. The silk slip was cool against her skin. She could hear the click of the air conditioner, the wind as it moaned past the building and a hundred other noises, not to mention the smells. There was some sort of earthy scent, along with a familiar one—leather. “Stand there, in the middle.” He pointed to an imaginary spot at the center of the wooden arch. She did as he asked, wiggling her toes together as she waited. Matías shifted the bag so there was no way she could see what he had in there. He stood and crossed the space to stand directly in front of her, the dark landscape spread out behind him. He’d been quieter than normal since their earlier exchange. They’d said a lot of things, and not said just as much. The question was—where did they go from here? Would he really come back to her once this was over? And could tomorrow be the end of it all? What happened then? He grasped the hem of her slip and pulled it up. She lifted her arms, allowing him to whisk the fabric

off her. He stepped back and let it drop to the ground while his gaze traversed her body, from head to toe. When he looked at her like that—she felt beautiful. As if there wasn’t a single thing about her with which anyone could find fault. Her breasts were the right size, her waist and thighs—perfect. It was wonderful. Empowering. Matías closed the distance and reached for the straps on her bra. He drew them down until they hung against her arms. She stared at his face, but he shared no secrets with her. He reached around her, unhooked her bra, pulled it away, and stepped back to once more admire her body. The instinct to cover herself was fading. Instead, she stood there, relishing the way he made her body react without so much as a word. Goose bumps broke out over her legs and arms. Her stomach did funny, flip-flopping things. Warmth radiated through her chest, save her nipples. The cool air was making them tight. And she couldn’t help but smile at him. Once more, he stepped in close, hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties, and dropped to his knee, taking the bit of fabric with him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and stepped out of them. Her heart beat a little faster. This was happening. She was over wondering how she could fall for a man after such a short time. What was the point? There was no denying how the air around them sizzled when they were together. It was…wonderful. She’d already fallen. And he’d caught her. He placed his hands against her thighs, just above her knees and slid them up, over her hips and stomach to her breasts. He rubbed his palms up and down, kissing her stomach. She clenched her hands into fists and focused on breathing, not to mention, keeping her knees from locking. It was hard enough to remain standing and not sink to the floor in a puddle of goo when he touched her. “Do you want me?” Matías asked. A lump formed in her throat. He knew she did, and yet—she wanted more than just his body. She wanted him, but that wasn’t what he meant. “Yes, Sir.” “Are you wet for me?” Heat crawled up her neck. Would she ever get used to such straightforward questions? Probably. She liked not having to guess. “Yes, Sir.” “I want to see for myself.” He tapped her knees. “Spread ‘em.” She widened her stance and stared out of the windows at the night beyond. Matías kissed one hip then the other while his hands coasted up her inner thighs, his knuckles grazing her skin. She sucked in a deep breath and placed her hands on his shoulders. He spread her labia with one hand, and teased her core with his fingers. A moan escaped her lips, and try as she might to stay still, her hips moved against him. “You are wet,” he said against her stomach. “I think I need to sit down.” She leaned on his shoulders. She wasn’t ready for him to stop yet. “No sitting.” He withdrew his hand and stood. “Can you stand here for a few minutes?” “Yeah.” He narrowed his gaze. “Yes, Sir.” “That’s my good girl.” He kissed her forehead. “Stand right here. Don’t move.” He went back to the bag and grabbed several bundles of something, tucking them under his arms, and what she could only guess were leather cuffs from the clank of metal. He returned to her, dropping the bundles of rope at her feet and holding out one of four cuffs clipped together. She held out her right and he buckled the first around her wrist.

He stared at her, his gaze that same unmoving, determined force. “I’m going to make your fantasy come true—but I’m going to do it in my own way. Understand?” Raven gulped. What was that supposed to mean? If she had any guess, it would be better—and worse —all in one. “Do you understand?” he said again. He knelt and began buckling the last two around her ankles. “Yes, Sir.” “Are you okay with that?” “I don’t get a choice, do I?” He flashed her a smile. Those were coming easier, more often. “Not really,” he replied. “Well, there you go.” She knew there was always the option to end a scene. He’d made that much clear, but even her fantasies fell under his direction. He stood, grabbing one of the bundles of rope and uncoiling it. “You asked to be restrained, but didn’t specify how.” He circled her chest with the rope and she shivered. There was something about the rough and pliant fibers that were sensual. “I’m not really a rope guy, it takes too long. But I had this idea as soon as you brought it up, so I’m going with it.” He tied the rope in a series of loops, circling her ribs, above and below her breasts. “Impatient, much?” She smiled at him, maybe a little too big, but already she was getting drunk on the high of this. Him. He could beat her with a sock and she’d probably dig it—just because he was involved. “I can be.” He took a second bundle and went over her shoulders in a V pattern, leaving a bunch of the rope hanging from her back. “What are you doing?” “I’m doing a chest harness.” He grabbed the two sets of rope banded above and below her breasts in his hand and jerked her forward. She face planted against his chest, surprised by the movement. “Oof!” “Rope is fun because it gives you complete control. Damien and Yamamoto do rope in such a way that it’s a religious experience. I just want a way to tie you up where you don’t fall, have no range of movement and I can fuck you until you scream.” Ooh, yes, please. He pushed her back and held her steady until she got her balance once more. “You should know, rope is dangerous. If something starts to fall asleep, you have to tell me. It’s possible to get nerve damage. You shouldn’t be in too much danger with the ties I’m going to do, but I need you to tell me—if you can—when something doesn’t feel right.” “If I can?” “I wouldn’t expect you to realize your fingers are falling asleep while your orgasming.” “Oh.” Matías circled her and took the tail of rope. She tipped her head up and watched him run it through a metal ring. He pulled it until she could feel the rope around her chest constrict, and the line above her went tight. “Bend your knees,” he said. She did—and the rope held her weight. It was an odd, slightly uncomfortable sensation she couldn’t decide if she liked or not. “Good girl,” he muttered as he tied the rope off. He knelt and grabbed two more bundles of rope. “Hands out.” He tied a rope to the large D-rings on either cuff and attached those to the frame so her arms were held out to either side. He also tied ropes just above and below her elbows, though they weren’t tight. “So your weight’s not just on your wrists,” he said as a passing explanation.

Matías did the same for her ankles, but the ropes he attached to her thighs went straight up. By the time he stepped back to survey his handiwork, she was a human marionette. Her arms were held straight out on either side, and her legs slightly bent. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but after a while her legs were going to burn. Slowly, Matías unbuttoned his shirt, starting with the top button. “You said you wanted to be tied up and fucked. I warned you I was interpreting this in my own way.” Oh, shit…what had she agreed to? He dropped his dress shirt into the pile of her clothes. She thought he would stop there, but he pulled off the undershirt as well. Matías knelt and fiddled with something in the suitcase. She heard a low-pitched hum switch on and off. He stood, holding a long wand with a…ball? On the end of it. She glanced from him to the toy and back. “Do you know what this is?” he asked. “No.” She had a feeling she wasn’t going to like this at all. “This is a Hitachi. It’s kind of the Cadillac of vibrators. It’s said to induce orgasm in thirty seconds or less. It has three settings. You are going to experience them all.” She stared at the white wand, not sure if she should be excited or nervous. Her experience with a vibrator began and ended with one she’d bought during a shopping trip for a friend’s bachelorette party. It had been her best friend through some of the lonelier times. And it was only powered by two batteries. This thing came with an electric cord and an inexhaustible source of power. Matías grabbed a towel out of the bag and spread it out under her. “Just in case,” he said. Just in case—what? She watched, wide eyed, as he flipped the switch on and the wand began to vibrate. The tennis-ballshaped end shook so fast it was a blur. And that was going to go where? “Wait, I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she said. “You already said yes.” Matías cupped her mound. They stood face to face, and he flicked the power switch. The hum intensified and she gulped. She pulled on the ropes, but there wasn’t a lot of give. He had her truly bound. This was what she’d wanted. Wasn’t it? Matías lowered the vibrator, but kept his hand in place. The vibrations shook through his hand to her mound. She wiggled her toes as the sensation seeped into her pussy. She sucked in a breath, but could not look away from his gaze. “What-what are you doing?” She wiggled her hands, shaking them out. “I wasn’t clear? You’re going to come over and over and over again until I’m satisfied.” “That’s not what we talked about.” Her pussy clenched and she moved her hips, not sure if she wanted more—or less. “No, it’s not what you talked about. I told you I interpreted it differently. If you really want this to stop, just say red.” “Would you really? Stop, I mean.” “You say the word and it’s all over.” Red. Did she want it to stop? Her internal muscles quivered and she let her head drop back as fissures of pleasure shook her. “Oh my god.” Matías kissed her forehead as he shifted the vibrator lower, over her clit. If this was what it felt like through his hand, what was it going to be like on her skin? She was a little afraid to find out. She inhaled deep and groaned as he pressed harder. Her jaw dropped as her muscles tensed. Pleasure

rolled up from her toes. Warm and pleasant, her body clenched on nothing. “One,” he said and lowered the intensity two clicks. He took his hand away and she reached for the rope, holding onto it. “Let’s see how many times you can come in ten minutes.” “Ten minutes?” Her tongue felt thick, her speech slightly slurred as she blinked at him. If it took thirty seconds at most for her to orgasm…and ten minutes…that was twenty orgasms…was that even possible? He set the end of the wand against her mound and slid it back between her legs, then forward just over her clit. The intense vibrations snaked through her body. She curled her toes and gripped the ropes. “Oh my god,” she got out through her clenched teeth. The Hitachi vibrated her whole body from the single point of contact. Her already warm body heated further and sweat began to bead along her spine. Multiple orgasms were not something she’d ever expected, at least not before Matías, but there had to be limits to the human body. Clearly no one had discussed those with Matías. He stared at her, his gaze commanding her to come. Raven bounced on her toes and she shifted her hips, unsure if she wanted the vibrator closer or not. Matías pushed her back onto her heels, grasping the ropes between her breasts and pressed the wand harder against her. She gasped as all her muscles tensed. The second orgasm ripped through her in much less than thirty seconds. She hung from the ropes, gasping for breath. “Two.” “Stop. Give me a second,” she said between breaths. Maybe this was a very bad idea. “Nope. No waiting.” The click of the intensity sent a shiver of dread through her. “No, no, no, no,” she wailed. Matías bent, licking one nipple then the other. She gasped as sensation attacked her from both sides, the intensity way too much. Her back arched as he slid the wand between her legs. She tossed her head and screamed as he bit down. Her legs gave out and the ropes supported her. “Three,” he muttered against her breast. “SEVEN.” Matías smoothed Raven’s hair off her face. His ears rang with her screams, and they were barely a few minutes into his challenge. Maybe he’d set the bar too high. She’d orgasmed fairly easily when they’d been together. Perhaps he needed to rethink this. He splayed his hands over her chest, feeling her racing pulse. Her skin was damp with sweat. Her face creased and she moaned, breathless and sagging against the ropes. “Eight.” “Make it stop. Please? Make it stop,” she got out between gasps. “No.” He couldn’t give her what she wanted. Not yet. He went to a knee, kissing her stomach and over the mark he’d left on her side. He left a trail over her navel, to her hip. He bit her there, sinking his teeth in and holding on. Raven screamed and jerked on the ropes with more spunk than she’d shown since the second orgasm. “Nine.” She sobbed, and it jerked at his heart. He powered the vibrator down from the mid-setting and rose up on his knee. He tweaked her nipple and she whimpered, her jaw frozen on a silent scream. Again? Already? “Ten.” That was all he could take. No more. He needed to feel her, to be inside of her. He flipped the power off and dropped the vibrator. Halfway to the mark was fine. He knelt and

unbuckled the ankle restraints. As he stood, he shoved his pants off, letting them drop to the ground and pulled out the condom he’d stashed in his pocket. “Oh, thank goodness.” Raven’s head lolled to the side and she peered at him through narrowed slits. She’d given up any pretense of standing of her own power. Even now, with her feet unbuckled, she still hung from the ropes. Had he pushed her too far? Matías rolled the condom on and stepped toward her. He pushed her hair off her face and she pressed her cheek against his palm, her eyes completely shut now. “Was this what you imagined? Bound and fucked?” His tone was rough. The need for her, to feel her, rode him hard. “No,” she whispered. Raven turned into his palm and pressed a kiss to his fingers. “But you haven’t fucked me yet.” One side of her mouth lifted, just a little. Exhausted, spent, and ten orgasms into subspace, and she still had bite. God, he loved her. Matías grabbed her knees and lifted. The ropes at her thighs and chest held most of her weight, suspending her into a sort of swing. Her head snapped up and her eyes widened as he guided her legs to wrap around his waist. Matías held her gaze as he grasped his cock and passed it through her slick folds. Raven groaned and her eyes seemed to roll back up into her head. He thrust into her and they both stopped breathing. Her body was hot, slick and she pulsed around him, her inner muscles squeezing him tight. “Oh, fuck, Matías.” She shifted in the ropes, her legs tightening around him. “What?” He cupped her ass and rocked into her. “Oh my God. You’re going to make me come again, aren’t you?” “Yes.” He rocked back, withdrawing from her and thrust once more. Slow, easy strokes. “Oh, God. Oh, Matías, fuck me already.” She chanted the same phrase over and over again, her head tossing back and forth. He chuckled and adjusted his hold on her, hooking his thumbs into the ropes at her thighs. This time, he used his arms, shoving deep into her with force, going deeper. Raven’s squeal turned into a choked scream as she gasped for breath. She was completely out of control, a creature of feeling, and she still chanted his name. He used the ropes, swinging her as he thrust, increasing the rhythm until he grunted through clenched teeth. Raven’s eyes fluttered open and they stared at each other. Each thrust, every time his cock slid deep inside her, her breath hitched and her eyes widened. He widened his stance and she began a keening cry of release. “Eleven, goddamn you,” she wailed. He crushed his mouth to hers, clinging to the rope at her back as the skin at the base of his spine began to prickle. A tingling sensation spread across his lower back, and his balls drew up. He rocked into her, rough, short thrusts as he came, panting into the crook of her neck. Matías held her, squeezing her to his chest, as if he could join their souls while the fog of release abated. “Please tell me we’re done with the vibrator.” Raven’s head rested on his shoulder, and he could feel her breath on his neck. “Maybe.” He had no intention of pushing her farther. Two scenes and all their emotional baggage later and they were in a better place. “Red,” she said with no emotion. “I’m done. No more.” He laughed and kissed her. She smiled and kissed him back.

“This is going to tickle.” He pulled out and she whimpered, her face creased in something like pain. He eased her legs to the ground and swiftly buckled his pants, more concerned with taking care of her than himself. He helped her to stand and quickly released the ropes holding her thighs. As soon as she could stand on her own feet, he got her arms free and then the rest of her. She wobbled a little, her gaze glassy and unfocused. There was no way she was going to stand for two seconds on her own. He grabbed her slip and wrestled it on over her head. With her at least moderately covered, he swept her up in his arms and marched out of the dungeon. He could clean up after them later, though the staff would probably swarm in as soon as they left. Regardless, Raven was his first priority. He carried her all the way back to their suite at the other end of the house and to their bed. He laid her down and crawled in after her, holding her tight. Their bodies might no longer be joined, but he felt her, in his heart, in his soul, everywhere. * * * * * Raven’s eyes popped open for at least the fifth time that morning. The blackout curtains made the room practically pitch dark, but her internal clock clamored for her to get up. The sun had already been up for an hour or two, and her poor, abused body did not want to go back to sleep. She stretched, feeling a hundred twinges all over her body. Her shoulders and arms still felt like dead weights, and there was a particularly bad rope burn on her left inner thigh. But each and every mark was a reminder that last night had happened. It wasn’t a dream or something she’d conjured. They’d really done everything. Matías slept on peacefully. He had one arm flung out toward her, fingers brushing her arm. Come to think of it, whenever they slept he was touching her. She smiled at the dark lump next to her. He needed to sleep more than she did right now. At least she’d had a long nap yesterday. He’d maybe gotten half an hour before the three ring circus started. She folded the blanket and sheet back, sliding out of the bed until her toes touched the carpet. The bed dipped and rose with her movements. She held her breath as she stood, watching Matías for signs of life. “Where are you going?” he mumbled. “I thought you were asleep,” she whispered. “I was.” “Go back to sleep. I’m going to get some breakfast and find Níłch’i.” “Okay.” He yawned and rolled over. She exhaled. So much for keeping quiet. Raven grabbed a change of clothes from her bag and tip-toed into the living room to get dressed. She finger combed her hair into a messy bun. There were a hundred and one things she needed to line up for the day, like their flight to Columbia and where the heck Níłch’i was. Like hell she was going to let Matías go on his own, especially after last night. God, last night… Her mind kept going back to it. Replaying certain moments. She’d never experienced anything like what Matías did to her, which made it more difficult to process—but she liked it. She liked who they were together. She left the suite, not entirely sure where one might get breakfast in a place like this. The obvious place to start was the office Matías had pointed out to her after their arrival. Someone there could direct her to food. She took the elevator, feeling silly since it was only three stories, but her legs weren’t about to hold up to that many stairs, and she’d need all her strength later.

The double doors leading into the administration offices were cracked open. Raven poked her head in, not sure what to expect. There was a desk facing the door, which was empty of anything save a monitor. Toward the back of the room several screens had been set up to block off another section. “Hello?” Raven called. “Uh, hi?” a woman’s voice responded. “I’m looking for my dog. Seen a wiener on legs lately?” An unmistakable little yip she’d recognize anywhere came from behind those screens. “Oh shit.” Metal banged against metal and a chair squeaked. “Fuck. Ouch. He’s here.” Raven rounded the end of the screens and stopped. Níłch’i had a leash attached to his harness, which was wrapped around the seat of a desk chair, holding a woman with wild, curling hair hostage. She didn’t seem to mind too much though, she chuckled and smiled at the dog. “Hey, there you are.” Raven cooed at Níłch’i, going to a knee and unclipping the leash to free the other woman. “He’s quite the companion.” The woman wound the leash into a coil and set it on the desk. Raven sat on the floor, her back against another desk and let Níłch’i crawl into her lap. “He’s the best co-pilot around.” She smiled as Níłch’i flopped over on his back, wallowing around until he lay in the seam between her legs, tail slapping her knee. “You’re Raven, right?” She glanced up at the woman. “Yeah.” “I’m Gio.” She stuck out her hand. “Oh, Gio.” The woman Damien and Matías had spoken of warmly—if a bit apprehensively, at least about bringing her in. “Nice to put a face to the name.” “Yeah, sorry we didn’t get to meet yesterday, but by the time I was set up, you guys had crashed, and then everything was rolling.” “Did you…get…anything you can use? I’m not entirely sure what you guys were doing.” Gio turned toward the bank of small monitors behind her, and back toward Raven. “Yes. And it’s legal, which made this whole thing much easier.” “What do you mean—legal? You’re DEA, right?” “Well, Illinois has some messy history with wiretapping. Suffice to say, we cover our asses. Those consent forms everyone signs before they come here? They have a version with a clause that warns people the internal monitoring system may be recorded. That’s what they had everyone sign yesterday— which means Victor and his buddies gave us complete permission to record them. Now, the trick was that the in-house system is for video only, so we had to rig the important areas we thought they might go with microphones. We got everything that happened last night on tape.” Everything? Oh shit…had she signed the form? Matías had put a pen in her hand at some point, but she’d been too tired to ask what it was. If she’d known what they were going to do—she’d never have signed that thing.



CH A P TER SEV EN TEEN



“Not that they said much. Just a lot of bullshit about being big money. But I suppose the only thing that matters were the coordinates Victor gave Matías. Which, we already have on the books for you guys to do a hop.” Gio grabbed a clip board from a corner of the desk. “Yup. It looks like you could fly straight there, but I’d rather you touch down with enough fuel to get you far, far away if the shit hits the fan, you know?” “Yeah, thanks. When do we leave?” “Ten, so you guys will have to leave before too long.” Raven stared at Níłch’i. This whole thing was a lot of stress on the old dog. He was used to being up in a bi-plane for a few hours at a time. The idea of taking him into Columbia, where God only knew what was going to happen to them, it just wasn’t fair. “Hey, I know this is probably not the best time to ask this, but I don’t think Níłch’i should go on this trip with us.” Raven had had a bad feeling about Victor since the moment she laid eyes on him, and that moment in Panama really sealed it for her. They were pushing their luck with that man. “Is there a boarding place around here or something?” The fuel to fly to Chicago and the cash to board him were going to kill her, but it was the right decision. Anything might happen in Columbia. “Oh, fuck boarding.” Gio waved her hand. “He can stay with me. I’ve got a big German Sheppard, and he loves little dogs. I swear, he’s the baddest dog at the park until someone’s little fluffer-nut comes prancing to him and he just rolls over for them. He’ll be butt-sniffing buddies with this guy before he’s out of his crate.” “Really?” Relief nearly drowned her. “Sure. Besides, it’ll save the agency some cash reimbursing you. They’ll like that, since this whole thing wasn’t supposed to take this long—or be this expensive.” “Reimbursing? No one’s mentioned that.” “It might take a while, but yeah, you’ll be reimbursed for all of this. It was in that long disclosure thing they had you sign.” “Oh.” The one she’d signed without looking over at all. Awesome. She was doing a great job at watching out for herself. “I’ll take him with me, and when you guys are done we can fly him back to you, or you can come for a visit. But, if you come, you have to bring Matías with you.” Gio’s smile was fond. “He gave us a pretty bad scare last year.”

“He told me a little about it.” “And probably downplayed the seriousness of it.” Gio rolled her eyes. “Fucking men.” “It was bad?” “They lost him on the table at least once that they told us about.” Gio’s gaze lost all the light, and for a moment she seemed to be a haunted woman. Raven stared at her. Words had left her. A world without Matías? “Can I ask you a rude, personal question?” Gio’s tone was hesitant. “I mean, I know I could probably ask anyone here, but they treat this place like a church and it gets a little, I don’t know, creepy. You seem a lot like me, so maybe you can explain it to me…” “Explain what?” Raven swallowed hard. “This BDSM, kink thing. I don’t get it.” Oh, boy. She shifted, wincing as a muscle twinged, reminding her of last night all over again. “To be honest, I’m pretty new to it as well.” Raven didn’t know how to begin explaining what she didn’t understand. She only had her feelings to go on. “Oh, okay. Never mind.” Maybe if Raven explained it, Damien and Matías wouldn’t have to later. They didn’t seem all that keen on the idea. “It’s like this…” Raven opened and closed her mouth, searching for the right words. “I’m used to being on my own. I make the choices, things only get done if I do them, and a lot of work back home doesn’t happen unless I’m standing over people, forcing them to do their jobs. We own a little cargo and airstrip business in New Mexico. Anyway…” She stared at the screen across from her and let her mind wander, picking out the important pieces. Damn, she should probably call home, but what was the point? She’d said everything she needed to before she left. Her future, the next chapter of her life, was upstairs. “Being with Matías, and doing what he—does—it…it’s like it frees me. I don’t have to be in charge. He takes control, he tells me what to do, it’s fun, and…it’s a relief, honestly. I’ve never had someone take care of me like that before. Ever since I was little, my dad pushed me to be independent and take care of myself. I’m not looking to change who I am, but for however long we’re doing the BDSM stuff, that weight isn’t on me. When we’re done it’s like my whole body is lighter. That’s probably not the best answer.” “No, no, that—I get. I mean, I think I get it. It’s not like I’ve never looked at this stuff before. It’s just…do I treat the guys the same way? Is it going to be weird?” “They’re thinking the same thing.” Raven smiled at her. “They’re as concerned as you are that this is going to change things. And it shouldn’t. They’re the same people. They just have different…hobbies.” “Wrapping a chick in duct tape and poking her with barbeque skewers is a hobby?” Gio thumbed over her shoulder at the monitors. “Hey, it’s consensual.” Raven swallowed hard again. Fuck, she wanted to know. “Did you…Can you see all over the house on those?” “Yeah, all the dungeons, at least two cameras on every hall, and four on communal spaces.” Gio glanced over her shoulder at the darkened screens. Oh, shit. And that was on tape? “Yamamoto came and got all the mini-discs for the areas where Victor never went. If you’re worried at all. I mean, I didn’t watch. I’d left for a bit since Victor was gone and came back…I turned the monitor off.” “Well, this is an awkward moment I never thought I’d have.” Raven laughed. It was either that or pray the ground would open up and swallow her, but chances of that happening were slim. “Yeah, this whole night has been—surreal.” Gio rubbed the palm of her hands against her eyes. “What are you doing now?”

“Paperwork. The bread and butter of our government.” Gio sighed. “Any idea where I can get some breakfast? If we have to be out of here soon, I’d like to get moving and see to my plane myself.” “Oh, sure. The formal dining room has a buffet set up.” “Perfect.” Raven pulled Níłch’i up against her chest to snuggle the dog. She was going to miss his take-off howl. “Hey, it was good to meet you.” Gio held out her hand again and shook Raven’s. “I’m glad Matías found someone.” “Good to meet you, too. And thanks for offering to watch Níłch’i. I hate leaving him, but…I just have this bad feeling we’re pushing our luck, you know?” “Oh, I’m right there with you.” Gio shook her head. Raven didn’t know if she should be relieved or worried a stranger was confirming her premonitions. Either way, she now had words for why her relationship with Matías meant so much to her. She trusted him on a level she’d never been able to before. MATÍAS LISTENED TO THE sound of the suite door opening. It was Raven. He could tell by the way she crept through the rooms on tip-toes, making hardly any sound at all. If it weren’t for the click of dishes together, he might not have heard her move. She set her load on the foot of the bed. He hadn’t been able to go back to sleep since she left. Though he knew he should get up and pack, a few more minutes between the sheets had sounded like a good idea. He just hadn’t left it. The mattress dipped. Slowly, she crawled up his body until she straddled his lower thighs. She tugged the blankets down. It took firm determination to not open his eyes. He wasn’t much for surprises, but he was curious about what Raven might do. The cool air grazed his skin, but he felt it most at his stomach. The old scars ached, but that was nothing new. Raven slid her hands up and down his thighs, warming the skin. His dick twitched, already semi-erect. She touched his hips, traced the lines that slashed down his abdomen and finally wrapped one hot little hand around his cock. She squeezed slightly, working her hand back and forth, testing her grip. He opened his eyes, barely, just enough to see her outline as she knelt over him. There wasn’t time for this. They should be getting their shit together to leave, and yet, he wasn’t about to stop her. She pumped his cock, slow and steady, running her thumbs along the underside of his cock. He groaned, despite his best intentions to stay quiet. She chuckled, and the gig was up. Matías grabbed her by the waist and flipped them. She cried out, which turned into a laugh as he settled on top of her, her thighs parting to accept him in the cradle of her body. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. “You weren’t asleep at all,” she said. “Nope.” He kissed her cheek, mindful of his morning breath. “No fair.” “Mm.” He flexed his hips and she gasped. “I’m pretty sure my vagina is way too tired after last night.” “Hair of the dog.” He stood and grabbed her hand, tugging her up out of the bed and toward the bathroom. “I don’t think that works with sex.” She laughed and followed him into the master bath. She didn’t put up much of a protest as he divested her of her clothes and turned on the shower. They had to be out pretty soon, so why not combine two activities? “We’ll find out.” He pushed her into the glass enclosed shower stall and paused to check out the stash

of house provided supplies. They were in a small metal filigree box, mounted to the outside of the shower with a handy, water tight slot on the inside for easy access. Condoms, flavored lube, mints and bondage tape. Enough to spice up a morning routine. He grabbed several of the mints and popped them in his mouth, crunching them to do the job faster. “I’m serious. After last night I can’t walk in a straight line.” Raven turned, shoving her hands through her hair. Water poured down from three heads. It was practically a room all by itself, and it really could fit several people, maybe as many as five or six. He joined her under the spray, wrapping his arms around her. She kissed him, proving his theory correct. The more she complained about it, the more she probably wanted it. He dug his hands onto her ass, reacquainting himself with her body. In a matter of a few moments, she was panting and holding onto him just as tight. “Not fair,” she mumbled as he kissed her neck, backing her toward the tile wall. “Why’s that?” “Because, it’s totally unnatural to want someone this much. I’m pretty sure I should be sitting on ice right now. Literally.” “If that’s your kink, we can make that happen.” He grinned. “Uh, no thanks.” She traced his lips with her finger. “What?” “You’re smiling more. I like it.” “You give me a lot to smile about.” He wrapped his hand in her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her neck. He kissed down her throat, dragging his teeth over her skin. She shivered and he felt goose flesh under his palm. Someone was getting into the biting just as much as he was. She wrapped her hand around his cock, stroking him again. Every time she touched him was better than the last. He tipped his head back and eased his grip on her hair, luxuriating in the feel of her hand on him. She squeezed and he groaned. So damn good. Teeth bit down on his shoulder. He grunted and dug his hands into her ass, bringing their bodies together, trapping her hand on him. She didn’t let go, marking him with her own bite. He chuckled and pulled on her hair, forcing her head back. She gasped for air and blinked as water droplets hit her in the face. “Bite off more than you can chew?” he asked. “I think you’re a lot more than bite-sized.” She squeezed his dick again. “A lot more.” “Way more.” Raven cracked a smile and he grinned back. She was right. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d smiled more than he had in the last few days. She was a breath of fresh air in a life that had become routine. “Come here.” He backed toward a large stone bench and sat down. “Are you trying to kill me with sex?” She got the drift and straddled his lap. “I’m not even sure how that would be read in a court of law. Yes, your honor, we’re charging this man with homicide by penis. The media would have a field day with that.” Raven gasped. “Did you just make a joke? You did!” “I might have.” He reached through the slit into the metal box and grabbed the two items he wanted. A condom, and the lube. If she was still sore, it could help, and there was nothing shameful in a little lubricant. Besides, the flavored kind could be a fun treat all on its own.

“And what do you plan on doing with this?” She plucked the condom from his fingers. “You are going to open it, put it on me, and then I’ve got something for you.” “Is this something long and hard?” “Nope.” He curled his hand around the packet as she eyed his fist. He crossed his hands behind his head, willing to bide his time. Raven’s gaze narrowed and she stared at him for a moment. She shook the condom packet, flicking water droplets every which way. She then took the edge between her teeth, and holding his gaze, ripped it open a little bit at a time. He pressed his fingers into a bruise above her knee. Neither of them could remember where it was from. She gasped and the packet dropped to the bench. She glared at him and plucked the condom from the wrapper. “How would you like it if I did that to you?” She prodded the bite mark from a few moments ago. “Feels kind of good.” Matías winced. The bruise would be deep, colorful, and fun as hell. He pressed his thumb into the bruise on her side. She gasped again, tilting her chin up and planting her hands on his shoulders for balance. He found another on her bottom and prodded it with his other finger. She shifted back and forth, but didn’t protest. “You used to poke your bruises, didn’t you?” he asked. “What? How do you know that?” She blinked at him, her gaze a little glassy. Matías chuckled. “Let’s just say it’s something a lot of kinksters have in common. Now, about that condom?” He twisted her nipple, and her jaw dropped, but she was smiling. “Did you?” “Poke my bruises? I did.” “I thought I was just weird.” She pinched the end of the condom before rolling it down his length. “We’re all a little weird here.” “Guess that’s why I like it so much.” He brought the packet of lube around from behind him where it had fallen on the bench and tore it open. Raven watched him, but he had the sneaking suspicion she didn’t know what it was. He squirted some on his finger and reached between her legs. Her hands went to his shoulders and she held perfectly still while he slicked the lube around her opening. “Still sore?” he asked. If he’d hurt her last night, he sure as hell wasn’t going to push her today. “I thought we just covered the whole likes-to-poke-bruises topic.” She rolled her head back on her shoulders. “Is that so?” “Can we stop talking?” He grasped his cock and passed the head through her folds. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut once, but not a single protest passed her lips. She lowered herself onto him a little at a time. He didn’t hurry her along, though their time was short. She rose and fell above him, her breasts bouncing, water pelting them. He made it his goal to find every bruise and knot on her body, and work them over with his fingers. She hissed and her pussy would constrict, but she didn’t tell him to stop. She didn’t even complain. He leaned against the glass and thrust up into her. Her head tilted back and he palmed her perky little breasts. “Oh, shit,” he muttered. She did—something. Changed the angle? Whatever it was, she stroked him just right. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as release rushed through him, cascading pleasure through his body as he thrust up into her and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her to his chest as she milked him of the last drop of

semen. She hung her head forward, her hair to one side, watching him with a smile curling her lips. “You didn’t come,” he said. “I think I hit my monthly quota last night.” He helped her up and off of him. She went to curl up next to him on the bench, but he sank to his knees on the shower floor. Being a Dominant meant taking care of his submissive, in every way possible. He grabbed the rest of the packet of lube—strawberry, not a bad flavor—and knelt between her legs. “I’m serious,” she said, trying to squeeze her legs together. “And so am I.” He grabbed her knees and pulled her bottom to the edge of the bench. He squirted the rest of the lube onto his fingers and massaged her labia, the delicate clitoral hood and everything in between. Raven gasped and arched her back. “Sensitive?” he asked. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” He licked the length of her seam and her hips came up off the bench. He pressed her back down with his forearm across her pelvis. He flicked his tongue over her clit, thrust his fingers in her pussy and pressed his thumb to her anus. Sure, she’d said it was a no-go, but sometimes the threat of the line was a tantalizing temptation. “Oh, don’t you dare,” she said, and he wasn’t sure if she meant the orgasm or her ass. Raven planted her feet on the edge of the bench and lifted her hips—or as much as she could with his hold keeping her in place. She undulated against him, fucking herself on his fingers while he rubbed the flat of his tongue over her clit. Back and forth, up and down. Just to tease her, he gently prodded her anus once more. She lifted up, either to get away from him or allow him more access, he didn’t know. Her breathing hitched, that sweet sound she made half a minute before orgasm. Matías wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves. She came on a scream, arching her back and lifting her hips despite his effort to keep her in place. He stroked her through the orgasm with his tongue, loving how vocal she was becoming. There was nothing held back, he didn’t have to guess if he was doing it right for her—she’d let him know. He sat down on the floor and rested his head on her knee while they caught their breath. It might be unconventional love making, but he got the job done. He stroked her thigh and smiled. She was right—he hadn’t done much of it until her. After a few moments, he stood and disposed of the condom in a trash can set in arm’s reach of the shower door. He left her sitting, boneless and sated, on the bench while he zipped through his showering routine. He needed a shave badly, but there wasn’t time. Matías pulled Raven to her feet and guided her under the spray of the shower heads. He ran his fingers through her hair and circled to stand at her back. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Whatever I feel like doing.” He’d never washed a woman’s hair. He squirted her shampoo into his hand and slicked it through her wet locks. She tipped her head back and didn’t protest when he pulled too hard or got water in her face. He repeated it with the cream rinse and went on to the rest of her, cleaning her from head to toe because she was his and he could. One more day, then he was done. He was serious about trying this relationship out with her, if it was what they both wanted. It might not work out, once things weren’t crazy, maybe they’d grow apart. But if he never tried, he’d never know. And he was sick of the not knowing. He dragged out the bathing for as long as he could, soaking up these quiet moments where neither had to speak, there was no pressure to be anything except what they were. Today might be the toughest day of

his life. Matías even grabbed a towel and dried Raven off. He liked taking care of her, even though she didn’t need him to. Which made it all the more special. She wanted him, and he wanted her. “What are you smiling at?” Raven peered up at him. “You.” He pushed wet strands off her face. “You’re beautiful.” She shook her head and chuckled. “I think that’s one of the things I love about you. You’re completely unaware of how amazing you are. It makes loving you—easy.” Her eyes widened and her lips parted. Wait—what had he just said? He wasn’t supposed to say that out loud… MATÍAS SAID HE LOVED ME. That one thought played on repeat for the next twelve hours. Raven couldn’t think of a single thing to say in return, not in all the hours since they’d been hustled out of the suite and tossed on the plane. She couldn’t even muster up indignation that the DEA had refueled her plane and prepped it for take-off. Of course, she’d gone over everything herself, but her hands had shook and she couldn’t concentrate for shit. A man approached her as she finished her post-flight check-up on the landing gear. He spoke Spanish, but she only understood a few words. There was a huge difference between the Mexican and Columbian Spanish. They were almost completely different languages. She stood and peered at the funny little man. “I’ll be done in a minute,” she replied in Spanish. He stared at her, the fading light enough to see his confused expression. “Yeah, that’s how I feel, too,” she muttered to herself. Nothing about this flight was normal. Níłch’i wasn’t with her, Matías had hardly spoken to her and she’d had to watch her gauges closely to keep her attention focused. What she wouldn’t have given for a co-pilot to take over for a while. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Matías said he loved me. And she hadn’t said anything. She couldn’t. She’d been too shocked, and then Damien was there, telling them they had to leave immediately. Life needed to slow the fuck down for a minute so she could think. It wasn’t like she could have set the plane down to have a serious conversation with him, because—she loved him, too. But everything was happening so fast, she couldn’t process it all. There was a limit to her ability to deal, and she was pushing it. One more day though, and they’d be done. At least if everything went according to plan. Why it should now was beyond her, but she could hope. The man followed her all around the plane like a shadow. She sighed and turned toward him. “All right, fine, I’m done. Let’s go.” She gestured toward the waiting black SUVs. She was really getting sick of the uniform dark SUV with tinted windows. Couldn’t these people have a goddamned color in there somewhere? Everyone knew to look for the black car in movies. Why couldn’t criminals be a little less obvious? She took a deep breath and hauled herself up into the SUV. She was tired and in need of a few, quiet moments with Matías. He didn’t even look at her when she slid into the SUV next to him. Their driver and the man in the passenger seat were strangers to her, but judging by the way Matías was already chatting with them, they’d made friends easily enough. She leaned her head against the cushions and closed her eyes. From the few words she could pick out, they were discussing the weather and movement of American support through the region. “She doesn’t speak Columbian Spanish,” Matías said in English.

Raven straightened, blinking at the man who turned around to face her and Matías. “I’m sorry—what?” She glanced between the two men. “I was apologizing for having you fly in here. It’s less watched, but farther away,” the man said in broken and heavily accented English. “It’s fine. I just fly the plane,” she said slowly. “Alejandro, this is Raven. Raven, this is Victor’s right-hand man. Alejandro and I have had many shots of tequila together.” Matías laughed and Alejandro nodded. There were stories there. “Good memories. We are glad you will be joining us.” Alejandro’s attention was clearly focused on Matías. She was just luggage to these people. “How long until we get to our destination?” Matías asked. “Hour, hour and a half. Like I said, we need to go in and out farther from our base of operations,” Alejandro replied. “That’s not very good for transporting product,” Matías said in English. “It’s just this once, I promise you.” Alejandro became very interested in the road ahead of them. What the heck was that about? “Is the factory Victor wants to show me near the headquarters?” Alejandro shook his head. “No, no, no. We will pass it. I’ll point it out.” He turned around, and the conversation switched back to Columbian Spanish. The more Raven listened, the more she was able to pick our familiar words and the unique inflections of the dialect. They spoke of old deals, people they’d known, where they were now. Nothing important to her, but there was an undercurrent of tension. As if someone were waiting for the shoe to drop. Well over an hour later, the SUV pulled into a compound—there was no other word for it. The walls rose up out of the trees the gates were open, though judging by the armed men lining the entrance, they wouldn’t be for long. Matías placed his hand on her thigh. She hadn’t realized it would be this…dangerous. Their doors were whisked open by men from the outside. One offered her his hand, helping her out of the SUV. She was so glad Níłch’i wasn’t with her now. Matías was by her side in only a matter of seconds. He shouldered aside a man wearing fatigues and carrying a gun, to wrap his arm around her. She grit her teeth and stared straight ahead. Oh my God, this was awful and she was in so far over her head. There was no way Matías could pull off convincing all these people. No way at all. “Take a deep breath,” he muttered to her. She did as he said, but it didn’t help. Alejandro directed men with their bags into a large…house. She wouldn’t call it a home, but it also didn’t appear to be either a mansion or administrative building. It was plain, yet intimidating. Matías turned and said something to Alejandro she couldn’t understand. He kept his hands on her shoulders, shielding her with his body. Alejandro replied and the men around them began to move off, leaving them relatively alone, though she could see shadows moving at the edges of the courtyard and outlying buildings. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Matías asked. “I wasn’t expecting this.” She sucked down another deep breath. “It’s okay. We’re here with friends.” She laughed bitterly. “My friends don’t carry guns.” “Yeah, well, mine do.” He peered into her eyes, and she knew he wasn’t talking about his pseudofriends like Victor. They had the DEA behind them. Survive tonight and all would be well.

They could survive tonight, right? That was possible. But what if they didn’t? “M-José?” “What?” he said sharply, catching her slip-up. “Sorry, I just—” “José, come inside.” Victor and Alejandro stood silhouetted by light in the arch of a double doorway into the house. “Be right there,” Matías replied. He took her hand and stared deeply into her eyes. “This is a good thing for us.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. The way he stared at her stole her breath away. She blinked and the moment was gone. Her window of opportunity closing. I love you, too…



CH A P TER EI GH TEEN



There’s a string holding this op together. Matías pasted on a smile as he entered the grand house. Judging by the area and the training of the men, this really was their headquarters. He glanced over the room, taking in the antiques along with the militant way the house seemed to be run. The servants who were at the door to receive them stood and stared straight ahead as if they were army. Not house help. There was also a decided undercurrent of unease. Matías didn’t like it. “This is an amazing welcome, my friend. Thank you.” Matías shook Victor’s hand a second time, laying it on thick as he peered around. There was money here. This was a profitable operation. They’d never been able to determine exactly how much business the Jiménez operation did, but billions was a decent guess. The way the security was outfitted alone was enough to warn him they might be in over their heads. “We held dinner for you.” Victor clapped him on the shoulder. “I hope you don’t mind going straight in with everyone else?” It wasn’t Victor who made Matías go still and his heart stop beating for a moment. A man passed through the room in conversation with Victor’s assistant, their heads bent together. A man who was supposed to have been arrested and in an American prison. Not free and here in Columbia to fuck up an operation. A man who knew Matías for what he really was. Paul Rojas had been in thick with the Valdez Cartel. After capturing the head of the organization in Chicago, the American and Colombian task force had raided the compounds in Colombia, rounding up everyone. Paul had been captured on a connecting flight in Florida. Somehow the slippery bastard had gotten out of prison. Matías had to think fast. This was going to get ugly quick. “I would, but Raven, I fear, does not feel well.” He turned to Raven, praying she understood his meaning. “What do you think? Can someone bring something up to you in a bit?” Raven missed maybe half a beat, but the lag in reply only made her seem more exhausted. “I think that sounds amazing.” She glanced at Victor. “You wouldn’t mind?” “Not at all. We’re just going to talk business.” Victor turned to one of his house staff, an older woman who could have probably stared down Job. “Show her to their room.” Matías squeezed her hand and as fast as he could, drew RUN on her palm with his finger. He prayed

she understood. He might get a few moments in the dining room before his cover was blown, unless he could do the best talking of his life. Raven nodded, and rose up to kiss him on the cheek. “Ten,” she whispered. Ten what? Ten minutes? Ten seconds? Ten people? Ten…what? He smiled and committed her face to memory. Chances were, he was walking to his death. It wouldn’t be fast, or painless, but he’d always known this was a possibility. When you went undercover, and an op went bad, you either pulled yourself out of the fire or died. They weren’t great options, but at least he knew the truth. Raven, she was an innocent. Matías let her go and forced himself to turn toward death’s door. “Victor, you must introduce me to your friends. I’m very eager to meet them,” he said. “Come this way. I have something very special for everyone tonight.” Victor led him toward the dining room, and the table already set. There was always a chance Paul wouldn’t recognize Matías. He’d been a simple thug in the Valdez operation. A glorified foot soldier. While Paul had dealt directly with the top dogs. He’d had only ever said a handful of words to Matías, so perhaps he could pull this off… SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT. Raven had no idea what Matías was trying to tell her, but the way he’d stared at her, as if it would be the last time he would ever see her, was enough to set her nerves on edge. She bided her time until the old woman showed her the room. She still couldn’t understand most of what people were saying, but she knew enough to get the servant out of the door. Left alone, she surveyed the room. The furniture was heavy wood, the floor tile and the walls plain. There was a bed, a few side tables and a desk. Nothing fancy, but plenty comfortable. The first thing she needed to do was form a plan of escape. Raven went to the windows and peered out. They’d scored a corner room, so there were two options. Jump down two stories with nothing to grab hold of. Or, try to step onto a clay tile roof and vault down onto a well-lit porch. She waited and watched each window for a span of sixty seconds. Shadows passed through the light cast off from the porch every few seconds, while the other side remained dark. Looked like she was about to make a drop. Raven grabbed a side table and as quietly as possible, dragged the furniture in front of the door. It wouldn’t hold someone out for long, but between it and the lock, maybe she could keep whoever came after her preoccupied. She’d told Matías ten minutes, and her window was closing. Fast. She opened the first set of windows and leaned out, as if she were admiring the night sky. There was literally nothing to grab hold of, but it also wouldn’t be the first time she’d snuck out of a second story room. She’d done it as a teen and learned her lesson after fracturing her tibia. Raven sucked in a deep breath. It was now…or die. She picked now. Crawling onto the wide windowsill, she let her legs go first and lowered herself using her upper body strength until she clung to the ledge with her feet against the wall. She took several deep breaths and imagined the landing. She’d twist mid-air, land and roll. It wouldn’t be fun, she stood a good chance of hurting herself—but she’d done it before. One…two…three… She pushed off the building, tucked her arms in tight and twisted, starting the momentum to roll. She crashed into some shrubs, the branches raking her arms for a second before she rolled and came to a stop on her side. Her skin burned, but it was hard to tell which pangs were bruises from the last few nights, and which were new. Raven got to her feet, more than a little dazed and dizzy, but she didn’t have time for that. She slid into

the deeper shadows around the side of the house, hugging the building. She crept along the perimeter, ducking under windows. It seemed as if this were the back of the house, and the trees lined up so neatly must be an orchard of some sort. She heard more voices as she approached the next corner. Peering around the wall, she saw a steady bustle of people back and forth from the house to outlying buildings. Well, hell. How did she pass by this without being seen? She didn’t. One of the best disguises was pretending as if you belonged exactly where you were. Raven straightened, pushed her fingers through her hair, and checked her clothing for rips, or bits of shrubbery. Her ankle ached, but then again, she’d expected as much. Though it was her leg she’d fractured, whenever she aggravated the old injury, it was her joint that protested. She pushed her shoulders back and strode around the corner, holding her head up and praying that no one questioned her. MATÍAS STRETCHED HIS ARM toward Paul Rojas. “Pleasure to meet you.” “Likewise.” Paul’s gaze narrowed. The back of Matías’ neck was damp and his stomach clenched. He could play it cool, but his mind kept going back to what the hell Raven was doing. Victor made a few more introductions, but Matías could feel Paul’s gaze resting heavily on him. These men were a suspicious lot. It was how they stayed out of jail, or worse, the cross-hairs of an enemy. “I understand you’ll be working with us,” one of the men said. Matías was so scattered he couldn’t recall the gentleman’s name. He was slipping. His concentration was on Raven, not the here and now. “If you’ll have me. Victor made a convincing case.” Matías nodded at his host, or more accurately, his jailer. “Don’t be silly.” Victor handed Matías a glass of amber liquid. “You are one of us. We just had to be sure.” Victor lifted his glass as if to make a toast. “Did you work with Valdez?” Paul asked, breaking into the moment. Matías blinked at the man, pretending to be baffled. “No. I’m Victor’s loyal customer.” He lifted his glass to his host. Paul shook his head. “No, I’ve seen you before.” “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’ve ever met.” “He’s lying to you, Victor.” Paul turned toward their host, jaw thrust forward. Victor glanced between Paul and Matías. It didn’t take much to spark Victor’s suspicions. Hell, when Matías said he drank Dr Pepper, Victor had become suspicious of him years ago. Paul throwing him under the bus like this was bad news. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.” Matías frowned at Victor. “Why would I lie to you? I didn’t come to you looking for work. I was going to retire, if I might remind you. You insisted I bounce around on this little trip of yours. My patience is running out.” Matías tossed the liquor back, gritting his teeth as it burned down his throat. The others were beginning to eye each other sideways and shift. He’d be willing to bet every single one of these bastards had a gun. Damn his stupidity for ever going without a gun. Not that he could take out a dozen men, but it might make a dent in the way of an escape. “Paul, what proof do you have? What are you accusing José of?” Victor demanded. “I swear to you, Victor, this man worked with Valdez.” Paul jabbed his finger at him. “Señor Jiménez said he was afraid the DEA as snooping around. What if it’s him?” Paul jabbed his finger toward Matías. Victor stared daggers at the other man. “Señor Jiménez is dead.” He snapped his fingers and one of the servers stepped forward, a tray in hand covered by a silver dome.

The server set the tray on the table and whisked the dome aside, revealing a decapitated head, its hair matted with blood, and the features sunken in death resting in a ring of ice. Around the room people gasped, some exclaimed, others said a prayer and at least two voices demanded an answer. Victor had staged a takeover right under Matías’ nose. He couldn’t believe it. The man had talent—and balls. Voices raised as more demanded answers. Takeovers never happened without blood. Matías backed slowly out of the room, but Paul saw him. He pointed at him and yelled something lost in the fray. Outside, he heard the rev of an engine and more yelling. Ten minutes, then. Matías spun, but the doors were barred by two men with guns. He turned down a narrow hall that rose to a set of stairs. A small window was his only opportunity for escape. He kicked and the glass cracked. “Hey! You! Stop!” Paul yelled, his footsteps sounding closer. Matías kicked again and the window broke. He pulled his jacket up over his head and slithered through, ignoring the rip and poke of glass as he hit the ground and stumbled, landing unceremoniously on his ass. A SUV zigzagged through the courtyard. There was confusion, and something was on fire. He could smell the smoke, but whatever it was, it was out of sight. Matías picked himself up and sprinted for the SUV while cries of, “Stop him,” followed. The SUV screeched to a stop for a second, the driver’s side door in front of him. He yanked it open and shoved Raven aside. She went tumbling into the passenger seat. “What’s going on?” Raven asked. More bullets pelted the side of the reinforced vehicle. Small blessing. He slammed the door shut and stomped on the accelerator. The gates were already swinging shut. The old mantra, shoot first, ask later, held sway here. The car shot forward and a few of the armed guards had to leap out of the way. Their avenue for escape narrowed even more. “You can’t make it!” Raven screamed, clutching the side of the door and center console. He leaned forward, urging the car on. The SUV was wider than the space. They hit the gates at almost seventy miles an hour. The impact jolted the car, but their momentum flung the gates open. The road stretched out in front of them, empty and dark. “My pocket. My jacket pocket. Get my phone,” he said. The road was rough, pocketed with holes and bumps he didn’t know. “What the hell happened?” Raven reached across and dug her hand into his jacket. “Call Eddie.” His handler couldn’t help them now, they were on their own, but maybe, just maybe, they could get some support or an extraction if they could survive six or twelve hours on their own. They had a car and a mostly full tank of gas. “Matías, what happened?” “Victor killed the Jiménez family, and someone I met while undercover recognized me as someone else.” Headlights bobbed in the darkness behind them. “Oh, shit,” she said. “Put your seatbelt on.” He managed to strap his on. If they had to wreck intentionally, the airbags might be their only to survive. “What are we going to do?” Raven asked as she held the phone to her ear. “Just call Eddie.” She stared at him, her brave front cracking. She wasn’t made for this. No one was. He’d just learned

to adapt. She had no business being here. “Raven, listen to me, okay?” He licked his lips and glanced in the mirror. Those lights were getting closer. He couldn’t push the car any faster without fear of what the terrain might be. “No one’s picking up.” Her voice rose, becoming thin and brittle. “Don’t worry about that. Just listen to me, okay?” “Okay, what?” “If something happens, keep running. Don’t wait for me.” “What?” Her jaw dropped. “I’m not leaving you.” “Raven, don’t argue with me. If we get into something, I can handle myself better if I’m not worried about you. So get your ass out of here if you can, and I’ll be right behind you.” It was a big, fat lie, but she needed to hear it. If they crashed, or if Victor’s men caught them—they were dead. That’s how this industry worked. You didn’t get fired or handed a pink slip. They killed you. “Eddie? Eddie, it’s Raven. We’re in trouble. Our coordinates are—shit. It just cut out.” She jabbed at the buttons and pressed the phone to her ear again. “We passed a small airstrip near a barn. I bet they have a plane.” “Where?” “Turn your brights on.” She ducked her head and peered up at the sky. “What are you looking for?” “Reflectors, something in the trees. You know like people put on telephone lines?” The rat-a-tat-tat of an automatic gun pelted the back of the SUV. Raven yelped and ducked. He hunched down, not liking how close the nearest vehicle was getting. He pushed the accelerator down harder. The jungle was thick around them, opening up in cultivated fields or a random clearing. He had no idea where the strip might be that Raven had seen, but he knew they had to get away. “There’s lights up there.” Raven pointed ahead of them. Hadn’t they passed through a little village of some sort? Maybe a cluster of houses and huts? The SUV bumped along, careening around turns and jerking to the side to avoid trees close to the road. He took another turn and stared into the face of a shocked young man. Matías honked and the man scrambled out of his way. Other people and animals scattered as he blazed through the tiny village. “There! There! There!” Raven pointed through the trees. “Where do I turn?” He could see something reflective in the trees in his peripheral vision. “I don’t know!” She leaned forward once more, but the road turned, throwing her sideways. “Ah-ha!” He saw an offshoot of the main dirt road and turned hard—but too early. The SUV bounced through a ditch and ran straight into a stone embankment at a sharp angle. Matías’ head bounced off the steering wheel and for a moment the world hazed in and out of focus. He was aware of Raven’s voice, of her hands pulling on him, but his body was heavy. “Matías. Matías, come on,” she said, sounding panicked. He pushed her aside, the urgency not lost on him. “Go. Go, get a plane started.” His words slurred. He probably had a concussion at least, judging by the sharp slap of pain radiating through his body. He popped the seatbelt and pushed at Raven. “Go!” She stared at him, but only for a second. Lights lit up the street behind them. “Come on.” She pushed her door open and hobbled out, none too steady on her feet. He pushed himself across the console and pain shot up his side. His right arm was out of the socket and useless. Still, he managed to slide across into her seat. Raven was a dark speck of movement in the night, a shadow. Another couple of seconds and Victor wouldn’t be able to find her. She had a better chance of getting away if he distracted the others. Matías slumped in her seat and watched the last bit of her he could see. “Good girl,” he muttered. His chest ached, but not from physical pain. Victor would kill him. There

would be no trip to El Paso, no introducing Raven to his mother. This was it. He swung his legs out of the SUV as the lights of his pursuers came around the bend. There was no way he could escape, but he could give her time. He took off in the opposite direction at a limping run, plunging into the jungle, tearing through brush. RAVEN CROUCHED ON THE wing of the small bi-plane. She could fix and fly anything. At least that’s what she’d always said. The little aircraft was literally held together with duct tape in places, but she’d flown worse. She jumpstarted the engine and the propeller started to spin slow, lazy circles, then it picked up speed. “Yes,” she whispered, and peered over her shoulder. No Matías. “Come on…” Lights bathed the road in a glow, just as Matías darted—away from her. “What?” She gaped at the sight of men—with guns—leaping out of vehicles and running after him. Her heart pounded in her throat and her stomach tied in so many knots, she couldn’t breathe. There was more yelling behind her. Maybe the owner of the plane? I can handle myself better if I’m not worried about you. So get your ass out of here if you can and I’ll be right behind you. If she took the plane, how could he be right behind her? She slid into the pilot’s seat and guided the little plane onto the airstrip. It was dark, she had no idea what the terrain was like, and Matías wasn’t with her. Raven twisted in her seat, praying she might see him coming toward her, but instead men dragged him out of the jungle. Everything in her said to go back, to save him, do something, but what could she do? He was a trained spy. And she was an uneducated crop duster. His best bet was to get help. Real help. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she steered the plane down the runway. Her sight became blurry, but she tipped the nose of the plane up before it was too late, and skimmed the tops of the trees. The sky was clear, not a cloud in the sky. As much as she wanted to curl up and cry, she had to figure out where she was. In the beginning, her father had taught her to navigate by star charts and her gauges. Raven flew in a large arc until she found the North Star to set her course by. Once she was headed in the right direction, she groped around for a radio. There was one bolted to the underside of her seat. She turned it to the emergency channel and prayed someone friendly was out there. “Mayday, mayday,” she said first in English, then Spanish. Her voice broke as she spouted her emergency message over and over again. She’d left Matías. She’d told him she wouldn’t, and yet, she had. Because he’d told her to. If he wasn’t worried about her, he could do something. Couldn’t he? Or had she just made the biggest mistake of her life? Shame clogged her throat, or maybe that was emotion. Her insides felt shattered, her heart ripped out. If she was going to die out here, she’d want to die with Matías, not in a shoddy bi-plane, alone, with no way to tell where the hell she was headed. “Mayday, mayday.” It was hopeless. It was over. Done with.



CH A P TER N I N ETEEN



Victor strode through the once-orderly headquarters of the Jiménez operation. Glass crunched underfoot and half the lights had been shot out. That had been a cluster fuck. It couldn’t possibly have gone worse. Fucking Paul. Victor hadn’t been convinced that José, of all the men he’d brought into his fold, was a problem, but he’d run. For that, Victor would have to treat him as the enemy. “Señor?” Alejandro leaned through the office door. Perfectly good men were now flinching and acting as if their balls hadn’t dropped yet. It was annoying. “Victor. My name is Victor.” “Victor, we found Paul Rojas in the garage.” “Bring him to me.” Victor turned toward the doors as Alejandro preceded two armed men with Paul between them. Victor glared at the man. Had he orchestrated this blood bath? Was it a play against him? “Señor, señor please,” Paul said, glancing around as if he might find an exit or a savior. “Shut up,” Victor snapped. Paul’s teeth clicked together. “Who told you about José?” Victor hadn’t told very many people about his buyer, for good reason. “N-no one.” “Then where did you meet him?” “At the Valdez headquarters. He worked there, I swear, but his name wasn’t José. I was about to tell you earlier, but Señor Jiménez, he suspected there was a rat in our ranks. What if it’s him? What if José isn’t who he says he is?” Victor grimaced. He’d always wanted to trust José, but neither could he deny that the man seemed to be blessed when it came to moving product. He sighed and pulled a pistol from the top drawer in the desk. “It’s too bad you caused this, Paul, we could have had a wonderful future together.” Victor pulled the hammer back. “What? No. No!” Paul held his arms up and tried to take a step back, but the men on either side of him wouldn’t let him escape. Victor stalked around the desk and pressed the pistol to Paul’s forehead. “The correct response should be, I’m sorry, Victor.” Victor pulled the trigger, the report blasting

through the room, mingled with the sounds of splatter hitting the floor. He turned and set the gun on the desk, then wiped his hands on a napkin. This building would never lose the stench of blood. He needed a new place, a new space to conduct his business that was devoid of the stench of death. Good thing he’d taken over Señor Jiménez’s sister’s house. It was nearby, but had no direct access. It would be the perfect place to wait and watch, while peeling back the layers of just who José was. RAVEN PACED THE LENGTH of the ten-by-twelve room she’d been in since a couple of armed men had pulled her out of the bi-plane. She hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours and no one would give her any answers. By her estimation, it had to be mid-morning at least. She’d told them a hundred times that Matías was still out there, but they didn’t seem to care. If they hadn’t taken Matías’ cell phone, she’d have called Eddie until she got him, but even that was gone. At least they’d left her with her bra, though she didn’t know what she could do with that. Jab a soldier in the ribs with the underwire? It wouldn’t bring Matías back. A door opened behind her and she spun to face an older man who’d addressed her twice before. He had to have rank of some sort because he’d spoken with authority. “Did you get a hold of Eddie?” She needed someone to confirm her story so these people would believe her. Last night, she’d thought she’d been saved when someone answered her mayday in English. Now she wondered if she shouldn’t have just kept flying. “Yes, ma’am, we were able to make contact with Eddie Berlin. He is en route to advise us on how to proceed.” He stopped a few paces away, hands on his hips. He regarded her like he might a caged animal. “To advise you? What else do you need to know? Matías is out there, maybe even alive.” She gestured to what she thought was south. Her bearings were all messed up in this warren of hallways and no windows. “This is a sensitive operation. Now, we need you to tell us where the airstrip you took off from is located.” A second soldier produced a large map of the country. Raven stared at it blankly. She knew the coordinates for where they’d landed by heart. She’d been ready to give Eddie an estimate on where she thought they were. These guys? If she gave them an idea, they’d leave her behind, and she wasn’t going to do that to Matías. She’d made herself a promise to never leave him again, and some ass hole in fatigues wasn’t about to change that. “I flew using the stars. I don’t know where I am or how to tell you where I was.” She wiped her palms on her jeans and shifted her weight. “I could fly you back there. I know I could.” “I’m not taking a civilian into this.” The silver haired fox shook his head. “Uh, you realize I was hired to go into this, right?” She wasn’t technically DEA, but she’d been vetted enough to fly for them. “That might have been, on someone else’s watch, but what I say here goes, and you will not take my men into hostile territory. I’ll have one of our pilots bring some more charts to help you remember.” He gave her a sharp nod, and the trio did an about face and left her once more, with no hope, no chance of escape and no way to save Matías. She placed her palm against her chest and sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. Her heart hurt. She had to keep up the hope that Matías was alive, even if it wasn’t likely. If nothing else, she’d make sure they crushed Victor. RAVEN STARED ACROSS THE table at Eddie Berlin. How was such a man in charge of the lives of others? His damp brow and nervous gesturing did nothing to help her have faith that he and the men on this base were actually capable of rescuing Matías.

“I told them I’m not sure where we took off from,” Raven reiterated. The soldiers behind Eddie seemed to make him nervous. He didn’t appear to be the type to ever leave an office. “Okay, but we know you landed here.” He tapped the map. Across the border in Venezuela. “No, we landed here.” She leaned over the map, following the lines of latitude and longitude until she found a little blip on the topographical map. The general leaned over the map. “Where’s the infrastructure map?” he asked. A soldier stepped forward and pulled a large map from out of the pile and put it on top. The general quickly found her spot and frowned. “That’s remote. There’s only one paved road out there,” he said. “We weren’t on paved roads.” At least they hadn’t been for the last quarter of their trip. The general stared at Eddie, who only seemed to sweat more. He leaned toward her. “We need you to remember where you were,” Eddie said. “Honestly? I don’t know. I know that we traveled for an hour by car. We left the paved road. In the span of time we left the road and got to the house, we passed the factory, an airstrip, and a small village. That’s it. I’m damn sure I could fly back there, but you aren’t going for that.” “He showed you were the factory was?” A man who hadn’t spoken yet stepped forward. He had an accent, and judging by the mustache and skin tone, he wasn’t American. “Yes, I said that earlier.” She was frustrated with the lack of action by all parties. They knew Matías was out there, and yet wouldn’t go help him. “Did you see it?” The man asked, stepping forward. “Well, not the inside, but yeah. It was hard to miss. Smoke stacks, tall fence, lots of people.” Matías had explained before their trip that most of the factories were underground, leaving a very small portion to be seen from the air or roads. You had to be almost on top of them to see them for what they were. The general and the new speaker shared a look, communicating something she couldn’t understand. Well great. Whatever the fine general touched seemed to be bogged down in non-action, so she couldn’t rely on help from him. “What did it look like? Show me.” The general produced a pad of paper and pen. Raven was so done with these men. She could probably jump back in the bi-plane and do a better job on her own, except she didn’t even have a gun. She sighed and picked up the pen and drew. Three stacks of varying height. A few small, white buildings. Trees. The fence. And at least a dozen guards she tried to place as best she could. The second man glanced at Eddie and the general, then her. His gaze was hard, but there was a question deep inside. “You really think you can fly back there?” he asked. “Sir, I’ve been flying by the stars since I was a little girl. I can.” There was no fucking way these soldiers were about to trust her like this. Was there? “Judging by the fuel in the tank, you must have flown close to a hundred and fifty miles to get here,” the general said. “I flew straight north until your air control guided me in. I can find my way back.” Maybe… there was always the chance of it being overcast. That she’d get turned around and confused with such different stars above her. The second man said something in fast, liquid-like Spanish that she couldn’t understand. Damn these different dialects. “I don’t like this, but we’re going in. Sun sets in ninety minutes.” The general sighed and shook his head and stared at Eddie. “You say she’s trustworthy? This is on you, Berlin.”

She stared at him, disbelief raising goose flesh on her arms. They were going back… Hold on, Matías. RAVEN LEANED FORWARD, PEERING through the thick glass of the helicopter. Her skin prickled and adrenaline made her vision exceptionally sharp. She kept her eyes on the trees, looking for the reflectors. Where are you? They were close. So close. She could feel it. Matías had to be alive. “I saw something,” the pilot said through the microphone head-set. Raven skimmed the trees until a flash caught her eye. “There! One o’ clock.” She pointed. “I see it.” The pilot brought the chopper in lower as more reflectors caught the spotlight. The trees opened up onto a rectangle of open space. The pilot landed close to the barn where she’d stolen her ride from. In hindsight, she’d probably stolen the very crop duster they used for the coca plants used in the making of cocaine. She didn’t feel quite so bad about the theft. The chopper touched down, and the soldiers spilled out, while the other helicopters split off into two groups. Half followed the road toward the compound, while the other half went for the factory. She only knew what was going on because she’d shamelessly listened in on the pilots. Raven’s small group was supposed to stay in reserve on the chance one of the other two groups needed backup. She took off the headset. “You should probably stay in here,” the pilot said. “I need to stretch my legs.” She slid out of the chopper, keeping her head low until she was away from the blades. The soldiers fanned out, their flashlights bouncing off the building, calling to each other. In the distance, on the road, she saw a beam of light glint off the SUV they’d crashed. Her breath caught in her throat, and she could see that moment all over again. Matías being led out of the jungle at gun point, his suit ripped and dirty. Had she made the right choice to go for help? Had she cost him his life? She pushed the thought away. Matías had to still be alive. He just had to be. She couldn’t wrap her head around a future without him in it. It was what kept her going. She was so tired, she could easily fall over, but Matías had continued to push on when he was exhausted, so would she. Raven made it all the way to the embankment. It was a little higher than the hood of the truck. If he’d turned four feet later, he’d have made it in the driveway cut into the earth. They’d really been driving blind. The back of the SUV was riddled with dents, and she could smell gasoline. Her door still stood open, as if she’d just left it that way. She crept closer and peered into the truck, but it was empty. She’d only hotwired an old car at the airport a few times when they lost the keys. Her father had shown her how. Last night, she hadn’t been sure she could do it. She turned and surveyed the area. The soldiers had stopped a hundred or so feet back from the road. Had she slipped by them? She found that unlikely, considering how closely she’d been observed. Besides, breathing outside their stifling ring of protection was easier. She was grateful for their support, but she wasn’t stupid. Matías was third on their list of priorities. First was shutting down the factory, second was taking Victor and his cronies into custody. If they found Matías—great. But she didn’t think they were going out of their way to look for him. Well, someone needed to. Raven stepped into the deeper shadows of the SUV and crept along it until she could see the airstrip

above her. Still, no one seemed to realize she was missing. What she was thinking was dangerous, but she couldn’t sit here while they might or might not find him. The village was close by. Chances were they’d seen something. In a place this small, everyone would know everyone else, and a swanky dressed man would cause a stir. It’s what happened in her reservation town any time an outsider passed through. She hunched over and picked her way along the road until the trees and foliage enveloped her. It seemed they were in some kind of foothills, and the road hugged the side of the bluff. She couldn’t remember the view from her room well enough last night, but she’d guess the compound sat on top of the hill to give it a better view for what was coming. Under the cover of the trees the darkness was thick. She wished she had a flashlight, but everything in her pockets had been confiscated except for a couple receipts, some cash and a tube of lip balm. If she were Matías she could probably turn it into some kind of weapon, but she was just a crop duster. Her tools were WD40 and duct tape. After a few minutes she was able to make out light through the trees. This could be a horrible idea. If Victor was the only job in town, these people would want to protect him, so she couldn’t waltz into the center of the village and ask someone if they knew where he was. The faint sound of gunfire, almost like fireworks, drifted toward her. She was willing to bet they’d found the compound. Her heart ached. Could Matías be there? It made the most sense, but they hadn’t put him in a car last night, at least not that she’d seen. She pressed forward, and in less than ten minutes found herself on the edges of the village. A cluster of people were staring up the hill where the sounds of the fight were coming from. Ambivalent to what was going on, a few children played in an open space between the houses. A single teen lounged on a fallen tree, maybe keeping watch on them or maybe just bored. Raven dug the cash out of her pocket. It was a twenty dollar bill. She had no idea what the exchange rate was, or if it could even be traded here, but it was all she had. The teen didn’t notice her until she was almost right next to him. He flinched when she went to tap him on the shoulder and stared up at her, eyes wide. Well, shit, that wasn’t what she wanted. Raven knelt by his side. It was so hard to understand the Colombian dialect, but she could pick out words. If she spoke slowly, hopefully it would work. “Victor. Where is Victor?” she asked. The boy stared at her. She pulled out the twenty and repeated her question. The boy’s eye’s widened. He turned and pointed down the hill. Well, that was interesting. “Show me?” The teen nodded and stood, unfolding into a tall, lanky boy. He waved at her and said something that sounded like river, but she couldn’t be certain. They took a tiny path she’d never have noticed on her own and once more the utter darkness closed in around them. Every couple of steps, the boy turned and said something to her, but never the same thing. Was he warning her? Did he want her to do something? Damn dialects. After an even shorter trek, zigzagging back and forth as the ground began to slope precariously, she saw their destination. A small, walled in villa. She stopped her guide and thrust the twenty into his hands. There was no reason for him to get more involved in her crazy plan than he already was. He stared at the money, turning it over and holding it up to the light.

“Go on. Get out of here.” She shooed him away, but he didn’t move. He looked at her and grinned, his white teeth standing out in the darkness. Once more he said something more long and involved than a simple, “Thank you.” Raven nodded and shooed him away again, and this time he turned and darted off, up the trail. She made the rest of the short trek without incident. The path was well-worn, with hardly a rock underfoot. Clearly the villagers came here often. Was that where the house staff in the compound was from? There wasn’t time to puzzle it out. The path ended at a wooden door set into the wall. Did she try it? What would Matías do? He’d probably have some idea for a front door entry, but she wasn’t that smooth. The back door it was. She grabbed the lever door handle and pushed. The metal clanked, and the door lurched inward, hanging precariously on a broken hinge. She peered into the walled in area. The villa was all whitewashed archways and columns. To her right, a little girl’s playhouse was left as if the child were about to return. Toys littered the grass. Raven frowned. She had an even worse feeling about this. There weren’t any lights on to be seen, and not a soul moved. It was as if the villa were empty. But why would the boy bring her here? She glanced behind her, wondering if this was some trick, but she was alone. The only thing to do was have a quick look around. If Matías was there, she hoped he’d make some sound, a noise, anything at all to let her know. She stepped through the awkward door and struck off to her left around what she assumed was the back of the building. There were a fewer small structures to that side. If she could avoid the house altogether, she’d prefer it. The moon shone down, lighting her way, but she couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding. Did she continue? Or did she split? Raven put one foot in front of the other, though her self-preservation instincts screamed at her to run. She couldn’t. Not yet. Voices yelled, bouncing off the walls. She flinched and flattened herself against one of the columns. Her heart hammered against her ribs and she cursed Uncle Sam for not giving her any sort of protection. Granted, they’d expected her to sit where they told her to and not go running off. Shit. What if they left her? That was not a thought she needed in her head right now. The voices didn’t come closer. Raven took a deep breath and forced herself to keep going. She made it all the way to the corner of the building. It was better lit on this side of the house, with a large floodlight illuminating what seemed to be a delivery area. There was a military-style Jeep idling between the villa and the shacks that lined the wall. A few people clustered nearby, but they seemed more intent on a radio one of the men held than anything else. Were the soldiers attacking the factory, too? Victor slammed the door out of the last shed and stalked toward the Jeep. Instantly, the four men started speaking at once. They seemed alarmed, probably because their buddies were all being rounded up by the combined Colombian and American anti-drug forces. It was just a guess. She watched the exchange, noting how Victor had someone with a rag ready so he could wipe his hands down. It was the kind of detail she wouldn’t have noticed before Matías. The exchange stretched on. Whatever the soldiers were saying didn’t alarm Victor too much. He replied in a sharp tone and the three men loaded up in their Jeep. Victor watched them reverse and drive out of the open front gates, not moving until the dust settled. It was just the two of them now, and he had his back to her.

She didn’t dare breathe as he stood there, letting the quiet seep into their bones. An insect landed on Raven’s neck and she grit her teeth. Her skin crawled as she forced herself to quietly swipe it away. A door to the villa opened and someone called out to Victor. He didn’t reply, but he did stalk into the house, leaving her alone. She waited for a count of ten. Any more and her nerves would strangle her. Raven bolted across the open space and pulled the shack door open. Light filtered in through the thatch roof and shoddy joint work, but she couldn’t make anything out. She did smell the coppery tang of blood mixed with other scents she didn’t want to think about. “Matías?” she whispered. A man groaned. “Matías.” Raven stepped into the shack, her hands outstretched, but there wasn’t anything there. She shuffled forward until she stepped on something soft. Another groan. “Matías, is that you?” She knelt and felt some bunched up fabric, slightly damp and sticky. She leaned forward, guided by touch, until she hit something solid. “Matías?” Her voice broke and if she’d thought it was hard to breathe earlier, it was near impossible now. “Go away.” The voice was thin, breaking, and nothing like her Sir. “Matías, is that you?” “I said go away,” he said again, stronger this time, with a bit of that extra oomph that she knew. Oh, hell no. She wasn’t about to leave him now that she’d found him. “I’m going to get you out of here,” she whispered to him. She wanted to cry, to pound her fists into something. This wasn’t right. Matías shouldn’t be hurt like this. Her hands traveled over his body, careful not to put any pressure on him. He seemed to be laying on his side, curled up with his arms behind him. She crawled around and explored the chains and ropes binding him into place with her fingers. The ropes were easy to do away with. The chains presented a problem. He was handcuffed, but with what she couldn’t tell. They weren’t the normal cuffs with chains. It was more like a plate of metal with his hands thrust through. It would take time to get him out of the chains. Time she might not have. She felt around until she came to the wooden post the chains were looped around. Metal, she couldn’t do much with, but wood, with the right amount of pressure, might just break. As her eyes began to adjust, she was able to make out a table along one side of the hut. Several metal objects lay on the surface, their dull shine giving them away. She ran her fingers over them. One was a pair of pliers, another she couldn’t tell quite what it was, and the third a small hammer. What exactly had they done to Matías? She pushed the question away and picked up the hammer and pliers. Not the best options, but she’d figure something out. Granted, it dashed her plan to break the post to pieces. “Hang in there, Matías.” He was too quiet. Her mind painted an ugly picture of what he’d suffered, and she hated Victor a little more. Raven knelt next to the post, pulling a length of the chain so it was just under each knee. She’d have to do this mostly by feel, which wasn’t ideal. The chain links were a little smaller than the chain sold at her local hardware store and covered with dirt. Or rust. She hoped for rust. She wedged the pliers as far as she could into a single link so that the tapered nose was tight against the metal. With her left hand, she squeezed the handle closed tight, while she hit the end of the pliers as hard as she could with the hammer. She felt the link. It had stretched and warped, but she didn’t know if it

would be enough. Did she keep fighting with the chain? Or go in search of another option? She could fight with the chain all night and get them caught. On the other hand, she could waste time looking for a hatchet or something else. Torn, she took out her frustration hitting the pliers a few more times. “Raven?” “Yeah? It’s me.” “What are you doing here? You need to leave now.” “Nice to see you, too.” “Get out of here now. I mean it.” “Only with you.” Again she hit it and a metallic ping rattled off the wall. She put the hammer down and felt the chain. The pliers were driven into the ground, but the chain had given way. She gasped and yanked the two pieces apart. “Matías, I need you to get up. I think I’ve got you free.” “Can’t.” This was not happening. She wasn’t going to find him and have him be the one to give up. She gathered the chains into two bundles and pushed them around either side of the post. One of them would have to carry the chains, and it would probably be her. She crawled to Matías’ back, touching his shoulders gingerly. He hissed and flinched. “Sorry. We need to get you up. There are people here to help us. We just need to get to them. Come on, Matías.” He seemed to get a little more motivated and rocked forward. “My ankles are still tied,” he said. She scrambled around to his feet. He was barefoot and had chains binding his ankles together, but the only thing tying him down was some rope. “Okay, you’re going to have to walk with the chains on. Can you do that?” “Maybe. Probably not. I’ll try.” There was something wrong with his voice. It was off, but she couldn’t tell why. He rolled onto his stomach and knees. She grabbed his arm to steady him and he made a pained, gargling sound. “Sorry.” She let go and hovered at his side. “Arm. Out of joint,” he said through clenched teeth. Raven couldn’t imagine the amount of pain he was in. Didn’t want to. She gathered the chains and waited as Matías slowly got up. It was a painstaking process. He’d move, pause and heave a moment, shift and gasp. What had they done to him? He finally got upright and she wrapped her arm around his waist, the chains clutched in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she muttered as he grunted. “We’re going out this door, straight ahead, and there’s a gate on our left. Okay?” He swayed on his feet. She could feel his breath against her cheek. “Are you real?” he asked. “Yes.” Tears pricked her eyes. “I’m not sure I believe you.” “Trust me, okay?” “Okay. Just don’t die.” He leaned on her. “I’ll try not to.” She took a deep breath and shoved her emotions down. They hobbled across the dirt floor to the door

and she peered out. There were several people going in and out of the side of the villa now. She couldn’t tell much, but it looked like they were packing or something. “Change of plan. We can’t go out this way.” And they might not be able to get around everything without being seen. “Window.” He used his weight to turn them. Sure enough, there were two pieces of plywood acting as make-shift shutters. She got Matías to the window and helped him to lean against the wall while she pushed the shutters open. “Go,” Matías said. “Like hell I’m leaving you. Come on. You can sit on this table and swing your legs out. I’ll pull you over. It’s going to hurt though.” “You should go.” She stopped and faced him, hoping he felt just how pissed off she was. “I left you once. I’m not doing it again. Now, if you don’t want me to get caught, get your ass on that table or resign yourself to both of us dying here.” “You sure you aren’t a Domme?” He chuckled. “You’re making a joke now?” “Might as well.” He turned and set his ass on the edge of the table. “You might want to go through first. I’m not sure how high I can lift my feet.” “I can pull them up by the chains. I’ll be careful.” “Don’t be careful. Be quiet.” There wasn’t time for it, but she had to. Raven leaned across, finding Matías’ mouth by touch and kissed him, quick and gentle. She could feel his swollen lips against hers and tasted blood. His. And she hated it. She sucked down a breath and climbed through the window. Maybe once there’d been glass in the panes, but now it was just a wooden frame. She vaulted through and froze, peering around, listening for anyone coming closer. All the activity was on the other side of the shack. Raven turned and pulled the chains over the side of the window. “Okay, lift your feet,” she said. He did as she asked, but didn’t get them all the way up. She leaned over, grabbed the chains and choked back a sob. His feet were coated in mud, but if she had to guess, that was blood mixed with dirt. He grunted and breath wheezed through his teeth. “Little bit more,” she chanted, guiding his feet over the window sill until his knees hung over the edge. They paused, each breathing harder than she’d have thought for such a little task. Her nerves were running her ragged. How had he done this for twenty years? She gathered her composure. He needed her to be strong this time. “Okay, I’m going to wrap my arms around your waist and try to get you through the window.” “I’ve got at least a fractured rib, so grab me high. I can only use my left arm a little.” He was starting to sound more alert, but she wouldn’t put much stock in that. “On three, okay?” She reached through the window and wrapped her arms around his chest. It was either put pressure on his rib, or his dislocated shoulder. There was no way to avoid both. God, she hated Victor. “One, two, three.” Raven hefted and pulled. Matías groaned and she heard his teeth grinding together as she moved him just a few inches. He bent forward, rocked back and lurched toward her. She squeezed and fell backward, clutching him to her. She stumbled and they went down in a tangle of limbs, a strangled cry and a jangle of metal.

They lay panting on the ground, Raven still hugging him, partially unable to believe he was with her. Now, how to get them out of here? “Come on, we need to go.” Matías shifted. She got up and hovered while he once again got to his feet slowly, pausing as he needed to catch his breath. “We need to go,” she said. “I know.” She gathered the chains, cringing when they clinked. They shuffled forward, traveling as fast as Matías’ battered feet and hobbles let them go. But it wasn’t fast enough. Voices on the other side of the shacks grew louder and more urgent. Soon they were going to figure out their prisoner was escaping, and she still had no exit strategy. Yelling from the other side turned violent as two Jeeps blazed into the villa walls. People screamed, and Raven froze. What was going on? “It’s us. It’s our side,” Matías said as he collapsed on the ground, his back to the wall. Raven gaped at him, but he was right. That wasn’t Colombian-Spanish—that was English. They were saved!



CH A P TER TWEN TY

Four weeks later; Pecos Valley, Texas

Raven closed the door to the little trailer behind her. It wasn’t any cooler inside than out, but at least the sun didn’t try to bake her in here. She pulled out a bottle of water from the little fridge and pressed it to her neck. Calling it lukewarm was generous. A couple more weeks crop dusting over the Pecos Valley and they’d have enough money for a better trailer. It wasn’t much of a dream, but it was all she had. After being dumped back on the reservation on her uncle’s doorstep, she’d packed up her truck and plane, and set off to find her dad. It beat waiting around for a man who would never show up. No, she wasn’t thinking about Matías. He’d left her. The DEA had handed her an envelope of cash and a “Thanks for your service” note as they kicked her out. Nothing else. No one would tell her how Matías was, or who had her dog. She found it hard to believe that, even injured, Matías wouldn’t have found a way to see her if he wanted to. But she hadn’t heard a word from him. Not a thing. So much for promises and dreams. Raven sucked in a deep breath as the ache spread through her body. So much for not thinking about the asshole. MATÍAS STRODE DOWN THE rows of trailers, RVs and camp sites. His stride was shorter now, and his body was still on the mend. The rest of him was still in shreds. Four weeks. Five countries. Three identities. A dozen arrests. His job was done. He wasn’t José, Raul or any of the other names he’d worn in the last two decades. He was Matías. Site thirty-nine and forty were at the end of a dusty row surrounded by shrub. A trailer sat in one spot, and a flatbed trailer with a small plane occupying the other. Níłch’i wiggled under his arm, no doubt sensing his owner was near. Maybe it was wrong, but he’d kept the little dog close while he tied up the loose ends needed to start the next chapter of his life. It made him feel like he had a piece of Raven with him. He bent, grimacing as he set Níłch’i on the ground. The rib still gave him trouble. Níłch’i shot to the end of his leash, straining toward the plane, but Raven wasn’t in the cockpit. Matías stood in front of the flimsy door, a dozen ways to break in coming to mind. And those were just the easy ones. A trailer was not the safest place for her to be. He lifted his hand to knock, and put it back down. What did he say?

He’d practiced a hundred speeches, with detailed reasons why he’d made the choices he had, arguments for why she should believe him and plans for the future, but it all boiled down to three little words. I love you. The door swung open, almost slapping him in the face. He grabbed it, blinking through the dust as long, silky hair coasted over his skin. Níłch’i barked and clawed at the bottom of the trailer door. Matías stared into the wide eyes of Raven, all those practiced words escaping him. He’d thought she was a dream, a harbinger of his death when she’d come back for him. He hadn’t realized it was real until they landed on the ground outside of that shack and his whole body hurt so much it had to be real. Her gaze dropped to the ground. “Níłch’i!” She bent and picked up the wiggling dog, clutching him close and burying her face in his fur. He watched them, words sticking in his throat. He’d been unsure of his reception for a dozen reasons. She had every right to hate him. He’d pushed her into a new world, left her, nearly gotten her killed. What sane person would want anything to do with him? “I brought him as soon as I could,” Matías said at last. Raven’s gaze slid toward him. She seemed apprehensive. “Thanks,” she said. He opened and closed his mouth. Where to start? I learned who I was by being with you. You made me remember who I once wanted to be. I love you. “It took a while to find you,” he said. “Sorry? I thought you had my number.” “I had the burner phone.” “I still have it.” She said it like an accusation. “I…didn’t know. I’m sorry.” They stared at each other, Raven stroking Níłch’i’s fur. “What—happened?” she asked finally. “When?” “Since I last saw you?” He took a deep breath. It was a blur, and he’d had to fight tooth and nail for his resignation to stick. Eddie had led a campaign to keep him in the DEA, but Matías was done with it all. “I spent a few days in the hospital, then checked myself out.” “Then what? Where were you? I sat in a damn room for seven fucking days with no idea what had happened to you.” “Can we go inside?” He glanced at her neighbors, who’d shamelessly stuck their heads out of their trailer door to listen. She sighed and spun, her footsteps heavy thuds on the thin floor. He stepped into the trailer behind her, liking the inside even less. It was probably a third-or fourth-hand home, and the wear shone through on every surface. She deserved better than this. “Are you here to give me some line?” Raven was hurt, and he got it. But he hadn’t been able to go to her. Not when he couldn’t stay with her. There’d been so much to wrap up. “No line.” He pressed his palms to his legs to keep from reaching for her. “Why are you here?” “I had to bring Níłch’i to you and I wanted to see you.”

“You couldn’t see me while I was probably next door?” “They were keeping you at a facility in El Paso. They took me to D.C. They wouldn’t let me contact you.” “Then why are you here now?” “They don’t pull my strings anymore.” “That’s nice.” He wanted to shake her, hug her, fuck her, probably even strangle her—but only if she was into that. “I put Hokee’s supplier out of business,” he blurted. Raven stared at him, her eyes growing wide. He took a deep breath and kicked himself. A hundred things had happened since that moment in Colombia when he’d lost consciousness. “When I woke up in D.C. and they said you were back in Texas, I was pissed. I wanted you there. It’s because of you I got out of there alive, and then the bullshit started. They did everything they could to keep me in the DEA, but I wanted out. We made a compromise. I did three buy busts, and they turned a blind eye while I went after the guy Hokee has been buying from. He can’t traffic anymore because he doesn’t have a supplier. I didn’t turn him in. He’s your family, but I wasn’t going to sit back, knowing what he’s done to you and your dad. I…had to do it before I saw you again.” Raven just kept staring at him. “Look, I know being in the field like we were can intensify things, make you feel how you wouldn’t otherwise feel, but—” “What the fuck are you saying?” She had a magical way with words. God, he’d missed her mouth and the way she got right to the point. She put Níłch’i down, facing him fully. He grinned. “I’m just saying—” “I love you. Fuck what you think, what your bullshit logic says, I love you and you didn’t come back for me.” Her chin jutted forward and tears shone in her eyes. “I came back for you.” He opened and closed his mouth, torn between elation and guilt. She loved him. She loved him, and she was right—he hadn’t gone back for her immediately. Because he couldn’t. He had to tie up the loose ends, for them. “I know, and I’m sorry.” He reached for her but she took a step back so he let his hands drop to his sides once more. “I knew that if I came to you, I wouldn’t leave. Not unless you beat me back, and I didn’t want you to be worried about Hokee or anything. I wanted it to be us.” He edged closer, and this time she didn’t retreat from him. Not that there was anywhere else to go. They were almost into the cramped bedroom that took up the back of the trailer. Matías cupped her face, the tension inside easing as her silky hair swept over his knuckles. She still glared at him, but her body was softening, yielding to him. He could handle her anger, deserved it. In hindsight, he hadn’t made the best choices, but he’d been thinking of her. “You didn’t come for me,” she said again. “Yes, I did. I went to New Mexico because I thought you’d be there, but you weren’t. I was there, so I followed Hokee back to his source, took care of that and then went looking for you again. I’m here now.” He rested his forehead against hers. Parts of his body weren’t healed yet, there were more scars to add to his collection, but the only ache he cared about was the one deep in his chest. She’d said she loved him. “I waited a week. I didn’t know what to do anymore,” she said. There were a hundred red tape reasons, but they didn’t matter. She curled around him, putting her head

on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. He’d take her anger, so long as she gave him her love. “You did exactly what you needed to do. I’m sorry it took me so long to find you. I wanted to be with you, but I couldn’t get out. They weren’t very happy I insisted on leaving, but I kept telling them there was this woman I had to see, that I loved her and it was time to be with her.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and stared at him. He’d violated a sense of trust, but he’d earn it back, even if he had to spend a year proving to her in every little way he could think of that he’d always come for her. Raven opened her mouth and closed it. “See, I wasn’t trying to tell you that what you felt was wrong. I was going to tell you it made me realize that I loved you sooner. It’s hard to not love a woman who would take on a whole cartel for you.” RAVEN’S MOUTH WAS DRY, and her fingers tingled. Her heart, which had forgotten how to beat, pulsed once more in her chest. She’d forgotten what it was like to feel. In the last couple of weeks, she’d grown numb, dry like the land she’d left behind. She took a deep breath, not sure what to do or say. “What now?” she asked. Matías chuckled. A smile stretched across his face, more relaxed and at ease than he’d been when she first met him. God, she’d missed him so bad. “What do you want to happen?” he asked. “I…don’t know.” She cringed and glanced around the trailer. “I don’t have a lot. I mean, I’m living here with my dad.” “Do you want to go somewhere else?” “It’s not that easy.” When they’d been on the run, it was easy to ignore the differences in their lifestyles, but now the reality slapped her hard. “It can be.” He leaned against the stove, his hands on her hips. “I’ve spent the last twenty years working. What if we take a vacation? Nothing fancy, maybe just hop on the road and head to El Paso for a week or two. We can figure it out. Besides, I’m jobless now. I’ve got to find work. Think you could be a character reference?” “Don’t be an ass.” Yet he made her smile, and here she’d set out to wipe the frown off his face. “Fine. The facts? I have enough saved up so we could both live comfortably for a few years. Now, do I expect to do that? No, but I want the chance to explore this. I’m also not stupid enough to suggest you live off me.” He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through her hair. “Well, what do you know? He’s pretty and smart.” She took another deep breath, and this time it came easier. There wasn’t anything holding her here. Her dad had plans to go to Oklahoma and live with some cousins. She stared deeply into Matías’ eyes and felt a wholeness she’d never experienced before. “I want to be with you. I don’t know what that will mean or where we’ll go, but I’m not happy without you.” “It’ll be whatever we make it.” He picked up her hand and went to kiss it, but she pulled it back. “I’m filthy.” She hadn’t had a chance to shower or clean up since her last job. Matías leaned over and turned on the faucet. The pump began humming, churning out the water. He took her hands and ran them under the tap, while her heart rose into her throat. He didn’t know what he was doing, and it wasn’t really the same thing, but…he was washing her hands. “What’s wrong?” Matías paused, their hands still under the water. She blinked away an unexpected tear and cleared her throat. “A part of the Navajo wedding ceremony involves the couple washing each other’s hands. It’s…a symbol, a promise to help each other.” Her cheeks grew warm. It was probably silly to bring that up. Things between them were already moving so fast, but she couldn’t shake the parallels.

“It’s beautiful.” He continued to massage her hands, working the dirt out of the creases of her fingers while glancing up at her every few seconds. “What happens next?” “Usually, the bride washes the groom’s hands first.” “You will always come first.” He said it with such certainty, as if it were a fact of life, she couldn’t find fault in his answer. She took a deep breath and grasped his hands, turning them so the water fell on his knuckles. Slowly, she went through the motions of washing him. It was just tap water, and they were in a filthy, second-hand trailer, but the act nearly brought tears to her eyes. He’d almost died, and yet, he’d taken care of not only her, but her family. He really had come for her. Matías lifted an arm and brought her to stand in front of him in the safety of his embrace. She spent several moments tracing the lines of his hands, noting the differences and similarities. Finally, he turned the water off and kissed her temple. He dug something out of his pocket and held it up in front of her. It was a silver cuff with a few turquoise stones set into it. Simple and elegant. “I wasn’t sure you were ready, but, what the hell? You don’t seem like the jewelry type, but I’m hoping you’ll make an allowance for this.” He spoke in a rush, as if he were trying to get it all out at once. “In BDSM, people have symbols of their relationship. A lot of people use collars, but…that doesn’t seem right for us. I got this on my way out of New Mexico, and…I don’t know. It just seemed like you.” She took the cuff in her hand and turned it in the fading light. As she rolled it in her hand, she saw an engraving on the inside. Good girl. Two words that made her melt. Raven turned to face him. She’d done her homework, now that she wasn’t running for her life, and she knew a bit more about his kink world. “So what you’re asking is, will I accept your ownership?” she asked. “I don’t want to own you, but I want to be the only one making love to you, marking your body and the only one who calls you his good girl.” “I don’t have anything to give you.” He leaned in close until their lips almost touched. “All I need is you.” “Put it on me.” She pressed the bracelet into his hand. Matías took the silver cuff and her right hand. He slipped it around her wrist. It was light, and fit her well, but more than anything else, it was his gift to her. “I’ll have to give you something to keep the other little subbies away.” She grabbed the neckline of his T-shirt and pulled it aside. Before he could stop her, she bit his shoulder. He hissed and dug his fingers into her ass, hoisting her up onto the counter. He slid one hand up under her clothes to grasp her breast. In an instant, her panties were damp and her nipples chaffed against her bra. She wanted him, but now was not the time. “No, Matías, stop!” She laughed and jerked her shirt down. “My dad will be here any second.” “Fuck.” He growled and stepped back, nearly tripping on Níłch’i. He stooped and picked up the dog with one hand and grabbed her wrist with the other. “What are you doing?” She laughed as he hauled her out of the trailer. “We’re going into town and getting a hotel room. Now.” She couldn’t argue with him, didn’t want to. Wherever he went, whatever name he called himself, he was her Sir, and she would be by his side.



Dear Readers, This book has taken a long time and a whole team of people to make happen. To those who have stuck through it with me, cheered it on, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t be here without you.

Sid

Book List Aegis Group Dangerous Attraction Dangerous in Training Dangerous Games Dangerous Attraction Dangerous Protector Twisted Royals Alpha Prince Her Prince Reckless Prince Hot Rides Drive Shift Chase Bayou Bound Picture Her Bound Duty Bound Bound Memories Bound & Tamed Other BDSM Titles Committed Bound with Pearls Collar Me in Paris Festive Seduction Electric Engagement So Inked Under His Skin The Harder He Falls His Marriage Bargain



ABOUT THE AUTHOR

It can never be said that NYT & USA Today Bestselling author Sidney Bristol has had a ‘normal’ life. She is a recovering roller derby queen, former missionary, and tattoo addict. She grew up in a motor-home on the US highways (with an occasional jaunt into Canada and Mexico), traveling the rodeo circuit with her parents. Sidney has lived abroad in both Russia and Thailand, working with children and teenagers. She now lives in Texas where she splits her time between a job she loves, writing, reading and fostering cats. Sidney is represented by Nicole Resciniti of the Seymour Agency. You can find Sidney here: Website: www.SidneyBristol.com

Twitter: @Sidney_Bristol New Release Newsletter: http://sidneybristol.com/newsletter/ Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/Sidney.Bristol.Romance.Author Facebook Profile: www.facebook.com/Sidney.Bristol.Author Cheesecake Reader Lounge: www.facebook.com/groups/CheesecakeReaderLounge

Copyright © 2017 by Sidney Bristol. Cover design by Charity Hendry. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. Sidney Bristol | Inked Press www.SidneyBristol.com Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental. Book Layout ©2013 BookDesignTemplates.com Entrusted by Sidney Bristol -- 1st ed.