I DO, BABE- Tillie Cole

I Do, Babe A Hades Hangmen Novella Tillie Cole

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originally published. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, actual events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters and names are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously. The publisher and author acknowledge the trademark status and trademark ownership of all trademarks, service marks and word marks mentioned in this book.

Dedication To Styx and Mae. Thank you for inspiring this series.

Contents Page Glossary Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Epilogue Acknowledgements Author Biography Playlist Follow Tillie

Glossary (Not in alphabetical order) The Order Terminology The Order: Apocalyptic New Religious Movement. Beliefs based on selected Christian teachings, strongly believe the apocalypse is imminent. Previously led by Prophet David (declared himself to be a Prophet of God and a descendant of King David), the elders and the disciples. Succeeded by Prophet Cain (nephew of Prophet David). The members live together in a secluded commune; based on traditional and modest living, polygamy and unorthodox religious practices. Believe the ‘outside world’ is sinful and evil. Have no contact with non-members. Commune: Property owned by The Order and

controlled by Prophet Cain. Segregated living community. Policed by disciples and elders and stocked with weapons in case of an outside world attack. Men and women kept in separate areas of the commune. The Cursed kept away from all men (except the elders) in their own private quarters. Land protected by a large perimeter fence. New Zion: New Commune of The Order. Created after the previous commune was destroyed in the battle against The Hades Hangmen. The Order’s Elders (Original Commune): Comprises four men: Gabriel (deceased), Moses (Deceased), Noah (deceased), Jacob (deceased), Charged with the day-to-day running of the commune. Second in Command to Prophet David (deceased). Responsible for schooling the Cursed. New Zion Council Elders: Men of elevated status in New Zion. Appointed by Prophet Cain.

Prophet’s Hand: Position held by Brother Judah (deceased). Second in command to Prophet Cain. Shares in the running of New Zion and any religious, political or military decisions concerning The Order. Disciple Guards: Male members of The Order. Tasked with the protection of the commune lands and the members of The Order. Lord’s Sharing: Ritual sexual act performed between male and female members of The Order. Believed to help the male get steadily closer to the Lord. Performed in mass ceremonies. Narcotics often used for a transcendental experience. Females are forbidden from experiencing pleasure as punishment for carrying the original sin of Eve and must perform the act when required as part of their sisterly duties. Awakening: Rite of Passage in The Order. On a girl’s eighth birthday, she is to be sexually

‘awakened’ by a commune member or, on special occasions, an Elder. Sacred Circle: Religious practice exploring the notion of ‘free love’. Sexual intercourse and behavior with many partners in a public setting. Sacred Sister: A chosen woman of The Order, tasked with leaving the commune to spread The Order’s message by sexual means. The Cursed: Women/Girls in The Order deemed too naturally beautiful and inherently sinful. Live separately from the rest of commune. Seen as too tempting to men. The Cursed are believed to be significantly more likely to sway men from the righteous path. Original Sin: Augustine Christian doctrine that says mankind is born sinful and has an innate urge to disobey God. Original Sin is the result of Adam and Eve’s disobedience of God when they ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. In

The Order’s doctrines (created by Prophet David), Eve is blamed for tempting Adam to sin, thus sisters of The Order are seen as born seductresses and temptresses and must therefore obey men. Sheol: Old Testament word meaning ‘the pit’ or ‘the grave’ or ‘the Underworld’. Place of the dead. Glossolalia: Incomprehensible speech displayed by religious believers during an episode of religious ecstasy. Embracing the Holy Spirit. Diaspora: The dispersion of people from their original homeland. Hill of Perdition: Hill on the outskirts of the commune. Used for seclusions of New Zion’s inhabitants and for punishments. Devil’s Men: Reference to the Hades Hangmen MC.

Prophet’s Consort: Female chosen by Prophet Cain to aid him sexually. Elevated status in New Zion. Prophet’s Head Consort: Appointed by Prophet Cain. Elevated status in New Zion. Closest consort to the prophet. Sexual partner of choice. Celestial Meditation: The act of spiritual sexual intercourse. Believed in and practiced by members of The Order. Reaching a closer connection to God through sexual release. Repatriation: To bring back a person to his or her country or land. The Repatriation of The Order involves bringing back all the members of the faith to New Zion from foreign communes. First Touch: The first act of sexual intercourse with a virginal female. Hades Hangmen Terminology

Hades Hangmen: One-percenter Outlaw MC. Founded in Austin, Texas, 1969. Hades: Lord of the Underworld in Greek mythology. Mother Chapter: First branch of the club. Founding location. One-percenter: The American Motorbike Association (AMA) were once rumored to have said that 99% of bikers were law-abiding citizens. Bikers who do not abide by AMA rules name themselves ‘one-percenters’ (the remaining non law-abiding 1%). The vast majority of ‘onepercenters’ belong to Outlaw MC’s. Cut: Leather vest worn by outlaw bikers. Adorned with patches and artwork displaying the club’s unique colors. Patched in: When a new member is approved for

full membership. Church: Club meetings for full patch members. Led by President of the club. Old Lady: Woman with wife status. Protected by her partner. Status held to be sacrosanct by club members. Club Slut: A woman who comes to the clubhouse to engage in casual sexual acts with the club members. Bitch: Woman in Biker culture. Term of endearment. Gone/Going to Hades: Slang. Referring to the dying/dead. Meeting/Gone/Going to the Boatman: Slang. Dying/dead. Referring to ‘Charon’ in Greek mythology. Charon was the ferryman of the dead, an underworld daimon (Spirit). Transported

departed souls to Hades. The fee for the crossing over the rivers Styx and Acheron to Hades were coins placed on either the dead’s eyes or mouth at burial. Those who did not pay the fee were left to wander the shores of Styx for one hundred years. Snow: Cocaine. Ice: Crystal Meth. Smack: Heroin The Organizational Structure of Hades Hangmen President (Prez): Leader of the club. Holder of the Gavel, which is symbolic of the absolute power that the President wields. The Gavel is used to keep order in Church. The word of the President is law within the club. He takes advice from senior club members. No one challenges the decisions of the President.

Vice President (VP): Second-in-Command. Executes the orders of the President. Principal communicator with other chapters of the club. Assumes all responsibilities and duties of the President in his absence. Road Captain: Responsible for all club runs. Researches, plans and organizes club runs and ride outs. Ranking club officer, answering only to President or VP. Sergeant-at-Arms: Responsible for club security, policing and keeping order at club events. Reports unseemly behavior to President and VP. Responsible for the safety and protection of the club, its members and its Prospects. Treasurer: Keeps records of all income and expenses. Keeps records of all club patches and colors issued and taken away. Secretary: Responsible for making and keeping

all club records. Must notify members of emergency meetings. Prospect: Probationary member of the MC. Goes on runs, but banned from attending Church.

Prologue Styx Hangmen Compound, Austin, Texas Age Twelve “Fuck. Seen the tits on that?” I looked across the yard to see who Ky was pointing at. Some blond club slut sat on my old man’s lap. “That’s the type of bitch I’m gonna marry. Tall, blond, hot with massive tits.” He shrugged. “That’s if I marry. Ain’t sure I want a ball and chain tied to my ankle all my life. I want uncomplicated, no nutcases, no stage-five clingers, and a bitch that sucks my cock

whenever I fucking tell her to.” I laughed and shook my head. He was always like this. “And you?” he asked with his cocky fucking smile. I signed, “Black hair. Pale skin and ice-blue wolf eyes.” Ky’s smile immediately dropped, and he threw his head back dramatically. “Argh! Not this shit again!” “I answered your fucking question. That’s who I’m gonna marry. The wolf-eyed bitch I met behind the fence,” I signed. I could talk to her, asshole. You know what that means to me? I wanted to add on. . . but didn’t. “Yeah, well good luck finding her, Styx. I’m still convinced you got bit by a snake in the long

grass and fucking hallucinated the whole thing.” “What you two cocksuckers talkin’ ’bout?” My old man stood before us. He had fucking hickeys all over his neck and his newest slut’s red lipstick smeared all over his mouth. “Getting married,” Ky said. My old man frowned. “Better not be to each other. Fucking queers ain’t welcome in my club.” “Yeah,” Ky said dryly. “Can’t get enough of Styx’s chub in my mouth. Tastes like chocolate.” My old man slapped Ky across the head. “Ow!” he hissed and held up his hand when my old man came back for more. “Calm the fuck down. I was just saying I liked the club slut you were tongue deep in. Hot. Good tits. All that shit.” “Yeah?” My old man shrugged. “I’ll be done

with her by tonight. Have at her pussy all you want after that.” He laughed. “If your dick is even big enough yet to fill her hole.” Ky smiled and raised his eyebrows. “Plenty big enough, Prez. And she’ll know it when I make her scream.” My old man’s eyes fell on me. “And you? Who the fuck did my mute-ass retard son say he’d marry?” I stared at the fucker with hard eyes, saying shitall to answer his question. “Wolf eyes,” Ky said. I fucking glared at the prick, but the asshole just winked at me and stuck out his tongue. He knew he’d just dropped me in shit. “Not this again,” my pop said. “Not only do I have a retarded son, but he’s obsessed with some

baby slut he dreamed up outta nowhere.” He shook his head, then leaned down. “I’ll tell you fuckers one thing: don’t ever fucking get married. Worst mistake I ever made.” He pointed to me. “His momma was a slut, and once she left with that Diablo scum and I finally killed her, I was fucking free. All the pussy I want now. The perk of being the prez of the best fucking MC this country ever saw.” He looked at me again. Then the asshole kept laughing until he walked back to Ky’s pop and his slut for the night. “Styx—”Before Ky could talk I was off my seat and heading toward the clubhouse. I was pissed as fuck. “Styx!” Ky shouted louder. “I was only fucking with you, brother!” But I flipped him the bird and held it up until I turned the corner and was out of sight.

The mural of Hades and Persephone that graced our club’s wall stared back at me. I walked closer, staring at Persephone. The bitch had long black hair and ice-blue eyes . . . fucking wolf eyes like that bitch behind the fence. She was real. I knew she was. As I stared at Persephone—the perfect image of what Wolf Eyes would look like when she was older—I knew I hadn’t imagined shit. I had seen her—crying, pale skin, dark hair, blue eyes, wearing a damn pilgrim dress. And when I looked at Persephone with Hades, the fucker looking just like me, I knew I’d find her again. Because I’d spoken to her. The bitch with the wolf eyes . . .

Chapter One Styx Several weeks until the wedding . . . I threw my cut down on the kitchen table and rolled my neck. My shoulders were stiff from all the fucking weights I’d been hitting in the gym, and I was dog tired from the runs we’d had to do of late. Gun contracts were back, courtesy of the cult being fucking gone. Every fucker that had left us had come crawling back with their tails between their legs, practically offering to suck our cocks. So I had done what any good prez would do. I’d charged the traitorous cunts double and spat in

their ugly faces. Money was rolling in. Club shit was calming down. Prospects were doing good. Life was back to normal. And I still couldn’t fucking speak. I kicked off my boots, tossed my tank over my head, and dropped it to the floor. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and made my way through the kitchen to the living room. Lying on the couch, fast asleep, was Mae. I slung back my beer and stepped toward her. Her jet-black hair was splayed out over one of the ridiculous pillows she’d put all around the cabin to make it more “homey” or some shit. She wore a long sleeveless black dress with my cut, my fucking name, on her back. Her mouth was

slightly open, her pouting pink lips just waiting for my mouth to take them. But I didn’t. I let her sleep, my fucking black heart cracking some when I saw her hand cupping her pregnant stomach. Cradling our fucking kid. Unable to stay the fuck away from this bitch for a damn second, I sat down on the edge of the couch and stroked the hair back from her face. She shifted, a damn small smile pulling on her mouth. This time I did kiss her. But she didn’t wake. Ever since she’d gotten pregnant, all she did was sleep. Out like a light, practically unable to wake during a damn storm. Even I, the miserable bastard that I was, couldn’t help but smile when she didn’t even blink. Fucking loved this bitch. Best thing that’d ever happened to me.

Sipping on my Bud, I caught sight of a notepad on the side table. I picked it up and, as I scanned her perfect cursive writing, my fucking heart dropped. I did not know what life was until I found you. The boy who came into my life as a child. The boy with no voice who miraculously found words in my presence. The boy who kissed me on my lips, blessing me with the foreign, unreachable concept of hope. The boy I was always destined to love. The boy who held the sweetest music in his heart, who saved me, and showed me what it was to be home . . . I set down the notepad and ran my hand down my face. They were her vows. Her motherfucking wedding vows.

Needing a smoke more than I needed my next breath, I walked through the kitchen and out the door. I slumped into a chair on the porch and lit up a smoke. I took a long drag and opened my mouth. Breathing deeply, I let the nicotine calm my boiling blood. “I . . . I . . . R-R-Riv . . . Riv . . . argh!” I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to calm the fuck down. I’d tried this every day for damn weeks. And every time I thought about standing up in front of my brothers and my old lady and actually speaking, my retarded throat closed, and the stutter that had never fucked off outta my life came back to cut me off. I took drag after drag of my smoke and waited for my throat to relax. It didn’t. Instead Mae’s notepad came to mind, and her words taunted me like a sick

joke. The boy with no voice who miraculously found words in my presence. The boy who kissed me on my lips, blessing me with the foreign concept of hope . . . There was no miracle this time. Mae was finally becoming mine. Standing up in front of Hades, my club, and maybe even God, I wouldn’t be able to tell her what I wanted. That I fucking loved her, and the bitch had changed my worthless fucking life. That I was the luckiest motherfucker to ever walk the Earth. Because I had her. Because I fucking had her. She’d look at me, in her white dress, with those ice-blue eyes smiling, and I’d be a fucking mute. And Mae being Mae, she’d already told me she wanted me to sign our vows. That it was okay.

That she understood I couldn’t speak in front of all those people. Shit, I could almost hear my old man laughing at me from the fires of Tartarus. “Fucking retard,” he’d be hissing, laughing at his pathetic mute son, who could kill a man with one lethal punch but couldn’t man the fuck up and utter a few fucking words out loud. “Shit, brother.” The voice caused me to sigh loudly in annoyance. “Mae refused you her pussy or her mouth on your cock or some shit? You look ready to top yourself.” I flicked my middle finger at Ky without looking at him, and he sat down beside me in the spare chair. When I opened my eyes, he was watching me with a smirk on his face. “Let me guess,” he taunted. He removed a beer from the six-pack in his hand and

ripped off the cap with his teeth. Leaning forward, he continued. “Could you not get it up?” He shrugged like the fucking prick he was. “Heard it can happen to the best of us. Not me, of course, my dick is ready to rock at all times. The fucking Energizer bunny in my pants.” Too pissed to reply, I lit up another smoke. I snatched a beer from his pack, ripped off the top, and downed half the bottle; then I tipped my head back to stare at the night sky. This time, when I glanced at Ky, his eyebrows were pulled down. “What’s wrong?” There was no humor in his voice. His head tipped to the side, studying me. “Is it AK, has something gone down with the Klan?” Ky practically jumped to his feet. I grabbed his arm and forced his ass back down on his seat. He watched me, confused as fuck. I put

down my bottle and signed, “Ain’t gonna be able to do this marriage shit.” Ky stared at me like I was a fucking alien or some shit. “What the hell are you talking about?” I downed the rest of the beer, threw the fucker across the garden, and watched as it smashed against a nearby tree. “What the fuck!” Ky exclaimed. I got to my feet and pushed my hands through my hair. Facing my best friend, I wrapped my hand around my throat—a choking gesture. I signed, “Can’t fucking speak. Mae is all jacked up about this marriage, this fucking ceremony, and I can’t get out a fucking word.” I shook my head. “Can’t even speak to you now. One of the only two people I can speak to in the world, because the thought of talking aloud in front of anyone else

has fucking stolen all my motherfucking words.” “No one expects you to speak, dumb fuck. We all know you’ll sign.” I curled my fist and slammed it into the post holding up the porch. I stared out over the trees and worked on getting my breathing under control. Eventually I turned to see my VP sitting back, relaxed, in his seat. He was used to my outbursts. He’d seen me lose it over my defective voice a million times. Leaning against the porch rail, I signed, “I wanna speak. I . . .” I paused. “I wanna fucking speak on that day, Ky. Just for once, I wanna fucking speak right.” I ignored the flash of sympathy in Ky’s eyes. If I acknowledged it, it’d just fuck me off even more. Ky got to his feet and stood beside me at the rail. He offered me another beer. “Then we get you to

fucking speak. Piece of piss.” He shrugged like it was nothing. When I raised my eyebrow and looked at him, the fucker was smirking. I shook my head, but I couldn’t help smirking back. I lost focus as I stared down at my new beer. The door opened and Mae stepped onto the deck, her long hair mussed by sleep. She yawned, hand cradling her swollen stomach, then smiled so fucking big when she saw me. “I thought I heard you out here.” She darted to me. She slipped her arms around my waist, her bump nudging my stomach. She laughed when she could no longer get as close as she once had. I kissed her head and she pulled back. Folding her arms and watching Ky and me suspiciously, she asked, “What has you two so lost in thought?”

Ky shrugged. “Just needed a beer. I escaped Grace as she attempted to put fucking makeup on me. I mean, I know I’m fucking hot as all hell, and could pull off a deep mauve as much as the next guy, but fuck that shit. Left Lil’ Ash to take my place. That little fucker’s gonna look like a two-bit whore in no time. He’d brought Madds up to spend the night with Li and Grace. That was my fucking cue to leave and remind myself I actually got a pair of balls.” Mae’s loud peal of laughter soothed my fucking mood like a damn balm. She threw her head back and caught her breath. “Do you mind if I go and see them too? I would very much like to witness all of this.” “N-N-No,” I managed to push out. Her eyebrows dropped with suspicion. I hardly ever stuttered in

front of her these days. It was an indication that something was wrong. But she let it go. For that I was thankful. “I will make you dinner before I leave,” she said and looked at Ky. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Kyler?” “Does a bear shit in the woods?” “I . . . well . . . I . . . pardon?” Mae’s fucking nose was twitching, destroying me on the spot. “Was that a real question? I do not know if bears do that . . . in the woods.” She paused. “Maybe . . . yes?” “You got it, sweetcheeks,” he declared with a wink. I almost punched the asshole for playing with my bitch this much. He knew all the cult bitches—including his own motherfucking wife— were still clueless about a ton of things.

“Okay,” she replied, somewhat lost. And that was it. Before she turned to leave, I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me, being careful of her bump. I smashed my lips to hers and sank my tongue into her mouth. Mae moaned as I locked her in place with one hand behind her neck. When I pulled back, her eyes were glazed and her lips were swollen. “Don’t fucking mind me. Always up for a live porn show, kids,” Ky said. This time I slugged his bicep when Mae’s face beamed crimson. “I . . . I shall go and prepare dinner,” she whispered. I watched her go. When the door was shut, I inhaled deeply. “I-I . . . n-need t-t-t-to sp-speak.” I paused, swallowed, wet my throat with beer, then finished. “I f-f-fucking n-need to, Ky.”

I gasped in exhaustion when I’d managed to speak through my anger. When I’d managed to speak at all. A small victory these days. Ky’s hand came down on my shoulder. “Then we’ll get you to speak. Don’t know how, but we’ll do it.” He nudged me, then stood straight and said, “How about I just hide behind the altar and speak for you? You just move your mouth in time with my words and boom, bitch! You’ll motherfucking speak!” I grumbled a laugh, and Ky couldn’t help but laugh back. Asshole. “Let’s finish these drinks. Then open that fucking twenty-year-old bourbon you got hidden in your bar and eat whatever the fuck Mae cooks us. Then

we’ll work on operation Styx Speak, yeah?” I nodded and Ky and I sat down. Silent moments passed before Ky said, “You think the Psycho Trio and Cowboy are okay in that ghost town?” His voice was too low for Mae to hear anything in the kitchen. I shrugged and checked my cell. No messages, no calls from Hush at the motel. I signed, “Fuck knows. Right now they’re on their own.” Another thing that was on my mind. My men in a fucking Klan haven without the rest of us. No contact. No fucking peace until they were back. Ky sat back. But I knew the brother was thinking about Lilah’s sister, Phebe. AK, Vike, Flame, Cowboy, and Hush too. More shit to deal with. Then there was the wedding. My voice. And now the motherfucking Klan. Just more shit to pile on

my plate. So for now, we would drink and get fucked off our face. And that’s exactly what we did. My words still didn’t come. It was nothing new.

Chapter Two Mae “Mae,” Bella whispered as I walked from the changing room and stood on the elevated plinth opposite my friends and sisters. The mirror was behind me, but I did not yet dare look at my reflection. I glanced at Bella sat beside Ruth, her mother-in-law and Rider’s mama. Her eyes were filling with tears as she stared at me. Her hands were in front of her mouth. “Do you like it?” I ran my hand over my pronounced stomach. Bella nodded. “You are perfect,” she whispered. Ruth nodded in agreement. I looked at Maddie. “Madds?”

She smiled warmly. “You are beautiful, Mae, this dress only enhances that. But this gown could not suit you more if you tried.” “Styx will love it,” Lilah said and held Grace tighter on her lap. “You look like a Disney princess,” Grace said. A hand came down on my arm. I turned to see Beauty behind me. “You ever gonna look in the mirror, darlin’?” She smiled. This boutique belonged to a friend of Beauty’s, and Beauty had practically organized my wedding for me. I was clueless where to even begin. “You look good, Mae.” I smiled at Letti as she sat uncomfortably on the couch. She had told me she was here to support me, but she had no opinion in such matters as wedding dress shopping. Or anything girly, she’d said affectionately.

“Turn, honey,” Lilah said and I nodded my head. I had no idea why I was so nervous. I knew that Styx loved me and I loved him. I felt as though I had been waiting for this day my whole life. That I had been waiting for the day I finally cemented him as mine. Forever mine, and me forever his. Closing my eyes, I turned, allowing Beauty to guide me. “You ready?” she whispered. I pulled up the image of Styx in my mind. Me in his arms as we lay in bed. His large tattooed arms holding me close as we spoke. His voice gruff and deep. Then I pictured us laughing. The infamous Hangmen Mute of the Hades Hangmen, so different with me than with anybody else. To others he was aloof, silent, and menacing. But to me, he was loving, caring, and the most beautiful soul in the world. The other half of my heart.

“I just want it to be perfect,” I said quietly, confessing the words more to myself than to anyone else. “Then you will be pleased beyond measure,” Bella said. I smiled as my sister’s comforting words sailed into my ears. I took in a deep breath then slowly opened my eyes and looked at the woman staring back at me. I quietly gasped as I saw her, blue eyes bright, black hair pulled back off her face. Radiant white material almost heavenly against her pale skin. “Well?” Beauty stood beside me. I wanted to meet her eyes, but I could not remove my gaze from the girl in the mirror. “It is perfect,” I whispered and ran my eyes over my reflection from head to toe. The dress ran, like a waterfall of silk and lace, to

the floor. The pristine material hugged every inch of my body. My hands smoothed over the roundness of my stomach. “I like this,” I said and had to fight back the tears in my eyes. “I like that my little girl or boy will be present as I wed their father. I like that people will see the product of our love at the altar along with our spoken, eternal promises.” Then my eyes continued their journey. The bodice ended above my breasts, leaving my arms free. They were covered in the finest lace, which fell off my shoulders. I next looked at my hair, which was swept off my face. Delicate diamond leaf clips sat against my black hair like stars glittering in the night sky. Diamond earrings sparkled in my ears. “One last thing.” Beauty stood behind me. I watched through the mirror as she placed a floor-

length lace veil in my hair. Beauty fanned the material around my shoulders, and I had to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. “I could not have asked for anything more,” I whispered and turned to face my sisters, Letti and Ruth. Bella, Lilah, and Maddie were crying too. I stared down at my sisters with unrivalled relief that they were here. Bella rose from the couch and stood before me. She took my hands. My fingers ran over her wedding band. She must have seen the happy smile on my face because she smiled too. “It will give you a kind of peace you could never imagine,” she said and lowered her eyes. I knew in that moment she was picturing Rider. And she was right. I had witnessed them together. They fit, each the perfect complement of the other.

At peace. “I know you have that with Styx already. And some would argue that a marriage could not strengthen what was already a solid foundation to begin with.” She shrugged and met my eyes. “But something will shift in your heart, a spiritual embrace in your soul. And it will change you. Forever.” “It is true,” Maddie said and came to stand beside Bella. My shy, reserved sister blushed. “Having them vow to love you forever will change you irreversibly. Both of you. Styx too, as it did Flame.” Lastly Lilah came to stand on Bella’s other side. “After everything we have experienced, it will simply fill you with calmness. Such a heady calmness, Mae. Such beautiful serenity.”

I had vowed to wed Styx only when my sisters were safe. And here they were, all happy and free before me. “I cannot wait.” I had to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. “Now,” I said and released Bella’s hands. “We must see you in your bridesmaid’s dresses.” Grace stood beside Lilah, and I stroked her face. “And you in your flower-girl dress, little miss.” “Yes!” Grace said and followed Beauty to the changing rooms. My sisters followed, and I watched them go. Maddie, Lilah, and Grace would be my bridesmaids. Bella would be my maid of honor. I turned and studied my reflection again. I wondered what Styx would think the moment he saw me at the end of the aisle. I wondered what would be going though his head.

Then my smile fell when I thought about him of late. Thought about how he was signing more, even when it was just the two of us. Shutting down and sitting alone on our porch. Troubled. Styx was troubled. But I did not know about what. I prayed it was not the wedding . . . that it was not me . . . “Heads up, Mae,” Letti said from the couch. My sisters and Grace were coming from the changing room. I could not help but smile widely when I saw them. All of them were wearing identical ice-blue dresses. I had wanted to pick Styx’s favorite color: the color of my eyes. Their hair was down, and delicate white flower garlands crowned their heads. Grace was dressed in white, a basket in her hands. On the wedding day it would be filled with petals. My sisters gathered around

me on the plinth, and we all stared into the mirror. “Your father will be very proud to walk you down the aisle, Mae,” Ruth said. I turned to face her on the couch, my heart swelling at the thought of Stephen giving me away to Styx. We had all become very close to Stephen and Ruth of late— Bella, Maddie and even Lilah and Grace. Ruth was affectionate and considerate. Stephen was kind and gentle. And he was very proud of the women we had become. I knew by the teary expression on Ruth’s face, that Stephen was just excited about this day as me. Turning back to the mirror, I looked at all of us in our dresses. I took a deep breath, letting happiness fill my lungs. “I adore it,” I said and my sisters’ faces lit up. “It is exactly as I always dreamed.” “As is your groom,” Bella said and I caught her

eye. “Your dream. The boy you met behind the fence.” “Yes,” I said and smiled. The boy who gave me my very first kiss.

Chapter Three Styx I opened my cabin door to see Ky on the deck. “Phebe?” I signed. “Not yet,” he replied and glanced in the general direction of AK’s cabin. “He texted me saying she’s pulling through. He’ll let me know when she’s good. And I hope it’s fucking soon. I can tell Li smells bullshit when I tell her nothing’s on my mind.” I nodded then signed, “Why are you here?” Ky put his hand over his heart. “Fucking wounded, Prez! Can’t your best friend just come to say hi?” I raised an eyebrow and he laughed, flicking out his motherfucking tongue like he was licking Li’s

pussy or some shit. I blew out a breath, and he said, “Fine. I’m here ’cause your stuttering ass is coming with me.” “Why?” “Just get your fucking cut and let’s go, asshole.” I grabbed my cut, threw on my boots, and went to my Harley. Ky pulled out first and drove up the dirt track to the clubhouse. I pulled in beside him and followed him inside. “Prez.” Vike sat at the bar, a slut in his lap. Smiler sat beside him, along with Tank, Tanner, and Bull. The last three got off their seats as we entered and followed Ky and me into church. I remained standing as Tank, Tanner, and Bull took their seats then turned their confused asses to Ky. He handed me a sheet of paper and took a seat on his usual VP chair. I glanced down at the paper and

saw the same old bullshit generic wedding vows Ky had spoken at his wedding to Li. And just like that, I felt the blood drain from my face. When I looked to Ky, he smiled, pointed to a real confused Tank, Tanner, and Bull, and informed me, “We’re your test dummies. Practice on us.” I glared at my VP. When I looked to Tank, Tanner, and Bull, the fuckers were shifting in their seats uncomfortably. At least I wouldn’t have to murder them as well as my asshole best friend for setting me up with this shit. “Fuck, Ky,” Tank muttered as he shook his head. “This is why you called us here?” “Don’t look like the prez wants to put on a fucking show today.” Bull stood up to get the fuck out. “He wants to speak at his wedding.” Ky glared at the Samoan to sit back down. He turned to me.

“You do. So get some fucking practice now. We don’t care that you stutter. Ain’t no one here got the balls to rip you for your speech anyway—great Hangmen Mute and all that shit. We all kinda like our cocks. My massive one especially.” I was gonna kill him. Real fucking slow and painful, and mess up his fucking pretty boy face. “Read,” Ky ordered and reached to the center of the table for the Jack. He poured me a glass and slid it toward me. Still eyeballing the fucker, silently promising him a ton of fucking pain later, I knocked the shot back and slammed the empty glass on to the table. I paced back and forth as my brothers stayed silent and just watched. With every step I felt the python wrap around my throat. But I read the damn stupid vows anyway, sounding out the words in my head. I ran my hands

through my hair and tried to keep my shit together. Come on, Styx. Man the fuck up, asshole. Then I stopped dead and, ignoring the pussy that I was and the fucking shaking of my hands, I ran my tongue along my lips and pushed out some motherfucking words. “I . . . ” I shook my head as I growled the first word. My throat closed and cut off the words before I’d barely started. I clenched the paper tighter in my hands and tried again. Fuck-all came out, just hot air when my lips parted. Another Jack slid in my direction, and I didn’t even look up to see who’d supplied it. I knocked back the bourbon and closed my eyes, trying to calm the fuck down. My pansy ass tried to imagine being at the fucking altar and seeing Mae walk toward me in white. Her fucking smile and her wolf eyes. I opened my

mouth. “I-I-I . . . R-R-River, t-t-t-t . . .” Without even looking at my brothers, I kicked my chair and smashed that fucker against the wall. I pounded out of the room and into the clubhouse. “You get your period, Prez?” Vike called after me. I didn’t even stop to kick his ginger ass. Embarrassment and anger ran through me like lava. I was storming toward my bike when a hand landed on my arm. I turned and immediately wrapped my hand around Ky’s neck. I walked him backward until I smashed his back against the nearest wall. “Styx,” he said with his hands held out. “I was just trying to fucking help.” “D-D-Don’t,” I snarled then released him so I could sign. “Don’t pull shit on me like that again, Ky, or I swear to fucking Hades I’ll slit your

throat. Best friend or not. I promise I’ll kill you.” “I was trying to help. This is eating you up, asshole. I’ve known you all your life. Don’t think I can’t see how it’s all getting at you.” Before I could answer, Ky’s cell rang. He answered immediately. “She is?” He nodded, sighing in relief. “Thanks, man. Appreciate all you’ve done for her.” He put the cell back in his jeans, but I was already moving to my bike. I threw my leg over the saddle, and Ky called out, “That was AK. Phebe’s out of the woods. Gonna go and get Li. She’ll meet Phebe again tomorrow.” Still pissed, I stuck out my middle finger and took off along the dirt path. Dust and stone kicked up in my wake, and I just fucking rode. I rode along the path until I looked to my left and in the field were

Lilah, Madds and Mae. Grace was with them too. I killed my bike’s engine when I knew they hadn’t seen me. I eased up the kickstand and moved to a tree that gave me the fucking perfect view of my bitch. She was braiding Grace’s hair or some shit as Grace played with dolls. Mae’s hair was down. And when she threw her head back and laughed at something Maddie said, my heart fucking broke. I watched her pink lips as she spoke. I watched as she spoke to her sisters like not one of them had been raped as kids. Like not one of them had a fucking care in the world. My hands were in fists as I tried to loosen up my mouth. As I silently mouthed the vows Ky had written on that fucking sheet of paper. The sound of a bike roared across the field, and I

saw Ky roll up and speak to Lilah and Grace. Grace ran over to my brother and jumped into his arms. The fucker’s million-dollar smile was out on full display as he lifted her in his arms and kissed her on the cheek. Then he looked over in my direction, and I saw his face fall. As pissed as I was at the dick, I knew my VP was only trying to help. And as much as I wanted nothing more than to cut off his cock and stuff it down his throat, I knew the fucker would die for me too. He just didn’t understand. None of them did. How the fuck could they? Seeing something pulling Ky’s attention, Mae looked my way. The minute she saw me, that same blinding smile she always gave me spread on her lips. And like Pavlov’s dog, my dick hardened and

my heart fucking nearly burst from my chest at the sight of her. Especially in her long black dress that showed off her baby bump. My kid that I fucking prayed to all that was holy didn’t inherit this shitty speech impediment. Ky flicked his chin at me as he led Lilah and Grace back home. Maddie left Mae with a kiss on her cheek. And as I’d known she would, Mae walked toward me. As she came my way, I leaned back against the tree and worked on loosening up my throat. Then, with no one to hear me but the wind, the sun, and fucking Hades himself, I opened my mouth and spoke. “I-I, R-River N-N-Nash.” I sucked in a breath and watched Mae’s smile get brighter as she got closer, and I finished, “T-take yy-you M-M-Mae . . .” My head twitched and my eyes blinked fast, the fucking tic I always had when

I tried to speak. Then, when she was only yards away, I managed to finish quietly, “T-T- b-b-be my . . . l-l-law . . . l-l-lawfully . . . w-w-wwedded . . . w-w-wife.” I panted, out of breath, as I spat the last word of the vow. But I felt something in my chest break as the fucking vow was done. I would never be able to do this. “River?” Mae whispered and took the final few steps until she was before me. “What are you doing here?” I couldn’t fucking speak any more, so I held out my hand and pulled her down into my lap. Mae called out, laughing, as she gently landed on my lap and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She turned her face toward me and, before she could speak, before she could even ask me what the fuck was

wrong, I crushed my lips to hers. Mae sighed into my mouth as I took her tongue with my own then broke away. She settled into my chest and closed her eyes. I fucking let her as I stared out over the field, eyes focused on nothing. “I love you, River Nash,” she said sleepily. “I cannot wait to be your wife.” I squeezed her tighter; then she said, “We should go home. I am tired. I am struggling to keep my eyes open today.” But I only held her tighter. I never wanted to let this bitch go. Taking a deep breath, I said, “St-Stay. St-Stay h-h-here w-w-with me.” Mae looked up at me through her long black lashes and smiled, taken aback. Her cheeks were pink from the sun, and she’d never looked more fucking perfect to me. “Okay,” she said softly, her eyes

closing again. “We will stay. It is warm enough, and I have you.” As her breathing evened out and she fell asleep against my chest, I closed my eyes too and mouthed the vow once again. I River Nash take you Mae . . . And I mouthed it over and over again until I fell asleep too. Funny how I didn’t stutter in my dreams.

Chapter Four Mae I lit the final candle just as I heard the lock turn. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited. I heard his footsteps move through the house, and I knew who those feet were searching for: me. Each night, every time he returned from his run, his trajectory was to wherever I was. Always me. I waited for the call of my name. But as it had been for the past few weeks, his arrival home was silent. My fiancé was silent. He was never silent with me. With me his words—although stuttered and weak—were many, expressive . . . loving. But the silence that had befallen his soul lately was

suffocating—just as the effort to speak was suffocating for him. And worse, he was not using his hands to tell me what was wrong. There was just . . . nothing. I held my breath as I heard him approach the door. My heart beat as fast as it always did in his presence. I was sure with each passing day that beat increased in both volume and rhythm. I was sure it would until my very dying day. Styx suddenly filled the doorway. I became breathless as his hazel eyes fell on me, sitting on the edge of the bed. His nostrils flared as he drank me in, and I smiled. I knew he liked me like this, dressed in a sleeveless white slip, hair falling to my waist, and no makeup on my face. And my gaze roved over him too. I loved him like this: in dark jeans, a black shirt, and his cut, his face stubbled,

and his dark hair messy. Styx did not speak. He cast his gaze around the room and raised his pierced eyebrow in a questioning gesture. Lifting his hand, he nodded toward the candles and the soft sounds of Johnny Cash playing from the bathroom. “What’s all this?” he signed and, as it had been doing for endless days, my heart broke. I couldn’t answer as sadness welled within me. Instead, I held out my hands and rose from the bed. Styx came toward me immediately, as I had known he would. As the scent of tobacco filled my nose and his callused palms slipped against mine, I pulled him close. Tipping up my head, I waited for his kiss. Styx released my hands, cupped my face, and drew his lips against mine. I closed my eyes as his taste burst on my tongue. And we kissed. We

kissed so deeply and so gently that I became liquid in his arms. When I broke away, Styx’s hard hazel eyes stared at me, searching my face for answers. I pushed his cut from his broad shoulders, silencing any questions. The muscles on top of his shoulders, leading to his neck, tensed under my hands. His biceps corded and the tattoos of Hades and demons and hell’s denizens danced over his tanned skin. He hissed through parted lips when my hands traveled to the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his wide muscled chest and over his head until it landed on the floor. I met his eyes and he met mine as I leaned forward and pressed a whisper of a kiss in the center of his chest. Styx’s skin bumped under my touch, and I smiled when his hand threaded into my hair. My fingers made lazy circles

on his abdominal muscles until they drifted lower and lower to the waistband of his jeans. Styx growled under his breath as my fingers unbuttoned the fly, my hand grazing over the denim and touching his hard length. “Fuck,” Styx hissed as I pulled the jeans, inch by inch, down his legs. His thick thighs flexed under my touch. My mouth lay just before his hardness, my breath ghosting over the flesh yet never touching. “M-Mae,” he stuttered and guided my head closer to him as he stepped from his jeans and kicked them to the side. I glanced up and watched his eyes burn with need. Laying my hands on his thighs, I flicked out my tongue and licked along his length. Styx’s head snapped back and his eyes closed as I moved away, only to wrap my lips around the top and move, painstakingly slowly, down his full

length. “Fuck,” he called out as both of his hands steadied my head. I moaned and closed my eyes, savoring the taste of him filling my mouth, the heat of his flesh, and the touch of his hands in my hair. I kept my rhythm slow and steady. I wanted him to see how much I adored him, loved him . . . worshipped him. And when I looked up and saw him watching me, a hand sliding to my neck so his finger could stroke my cheek so softly, I knew he understood that. And as he pulled back, his length slipping from my mouth, and gently hooked his arms under my own, bringing me to my feet, I knew he loved me too. I just could not work out what was wrong. He lifted me into his arms, carried me to our bed, and laid me down. Crawling over me, carefully avoiding my stomach, he pushed the straps of my

slip off my shoulders and pulled the material down over my breasts. I moaned when his head dipped and his tongue lapped at the hard bud. But Styx did not stop—he kept tasting and kissing, moving to explore the rest of my swollen flesh. “Styx,” I whispered and arched my back as he pulled the slip down the rest of my body until it was a discarded silk heap at the bottom of the bed. Styx’s mouth pressed against my foot then peppered a trail of kisses up my leg until it reached my core. Carefully parting my legs, he placed his wide shoulders between them and licked along my folds. My eyes closed as his fingers entered me and began to move. “Styx,” I whispered. He moved faster, more determinedly, until his fingers rubbed the spot inside me that always made me fall apart. Once, twice, until my body clenched,

my back arched, and a long moan sailed from my mouth as pleasure that only Styx could give me took me in its grip. Trust and love and safety. And light. Light so bright and pleasure so strong that I did not feel Styx move beside me until his lips met mine and his tongue pushed into my mouth. I lifted my chest until my skin met his. Warm against hot, hard against soft, and rough against smooth. I placed my hands on his shoulders, rolled him onto his back, and straddled his waist. My hands slipped down to his chest. Styx’s eyes were dilated with need. Then his lips hooked into a smirk as his hands landed on my stomach. I knew Styx loved me, had known it since I had found him again. But since I had been pregnant, there was more in his gaze. A new form of love, more intense and sacred. Deeper and more connected. A part of him now

lived within me, the beating heart of our love’s creation inside my body. Lifting my hips, I placed Styx at my entrance, and slowly, without breaking eye contact, lowered myself until I was full of him. Styx inside me in both flesh and soul. “Mae,” he whispered and moved his hands to grip my hips. I began to move, rocking slowly, feeling every inch of him within me. I gradually built up speed, leaning forward until my lips were kissing Styx’s. I drew back, keeping my face no more than an inch from his. I laid my hands on his cheeks and felt his hips begin to move faster, thrusting up to meet my movements. I searched his eyes, hoping to find the answers to what worried him. But all I saw was his love for me, silently loud and uncensored. Styx struggled with words, but he did

not need them to show me he cared. I saw it. I felt it within him every day. “I love you,” I whispered as his thrusts began to build in speed. Styx’s lips parted and I saw him fighting to return the sentiment. And I saw the pain in his eyes, the frustration when those words would not come forth. “I know,” I whispered and kissed his cheek. “I know you love me too.” Styx’s teeth gritted together, and I saw the familiar anger taking hold. So I sat back. A long groan came from his throat as his muscles corded and his hands squeezed my rolling hips. “Styx,” I murmured as I felt my channel begin to tighten. I stretched my arms back until my hands landed on his thighs. Styx’s fingers fell to my core and began to rub the spot which broke me apart. I stilled as pure pleasure ran through my body. A low growl

sounded from Styx’s mouth, and then I felt his warmth filling me. I jerked as I came down from my high and opened my eyes. Styx was already staring at me. Crawling forward, I kissed his lips softly, briefly, then said, “I love you so much, River Nash. I hope you know that.” Styx lifted his head and kissed me. He kissed me so hard and so thoroughly that I was breathless when he broke away. I smiled and watched as happiness filled his gaze. Then, slipping from the bed, I held out my hand. Styx frowned but took my hand regardless. I led him to the bathroom and to the tub where the fragrant hot water waited. Candles flickered around the dark room, casting a warm glow on the wooden walls. Styx’s arms came over my

shoulders, his hands visible before my eyes. “You did all this?” he signed. “Yes,” I replied and turned in his arms. Styx was watching me, as if he was trying to work out why. “Come,” I said and used his hand to steady my entrance into the tub. Styx came behind me, and we lowered ourselves until we were submerged in lavender-scented heat, my back against his chest and Styx’s arms around my waist. I sighed with contentment and felt Styx lay three kisses on the side of my neck. I leaned into his touch and threaded my fingers through his. As Johnny Cash sang his gospel songs, I brought our joined hands to lie over my heart and said, “Tell me what is wrong.” Every muscle in Styx’s body tensed. He tried to pull his hand from mine. I knew it was so he could

sign, and I held on tightly, halting his movements. “No,” I said and looked up to his face. His jaw was clenched, and I saw fear in his hazel stare. Real fear. “Talk to me.” I heard the pleading tone in my voice. I begged with my eyes and could see the despair that lay in his. He turned his head to avert his gaze. “Baby,” I whispered. Then I felt my heart break when he turned to me again and opened his mouth. He was trying to speak, but no words came forth. His head ticced and his eyes blinked, and I watched the man I loved fight against the tightness in his throat. I witnessed the pain in his eyes and saw embarrassment blossom on his stubbled cheeks. Shaking my head, I released his hand, returning his ability to speak. Styx breathed out in relief as he lifted his hands. But they froze in midair. He

closed his eyes then signed, “I’m just going through some shit in my head, babe.” My stomach fell at his too-vague confession. His eyes opened, and I knew he saw my disappointment because he lowered his hands to my face and managed to stutter, “I . . . I . . . l-l-l-love y-y-you.” My heart melted, my soul cried, and I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. “You can talk to me. No matter the problem, even if it’s club business, I would understand.” Styx stilled, and I heard his sigh of frustration. He signed, “You’re my fucking everything, Mae. Never fucking doubt that.” His hand ran over my bump and rose again. “You and our kid. But I can’t . . .” He paused. “I can’t . . .” “Shh,” I said and lowered his hands with mine. “It is all right.” I saw the sadness in his eyes. “You do

not need to say.” Getting to my knees, I kissed his lips. “But when you are ready to talk, I will be here. I am always going to be here for you.” I saw his shoulders relax. Then he signed, “I can’t fucking wait for you to be my wife. Finally. My motherfucking wife after all these years.” All the tension, all the worry that perhaps it was the wedding, that he had changed his mind about me drifted from my mind with that single declaration. And I saw it written on his face. It was the truth. He so badly wanted us to be wed. He always had, ever since I came back. “I cannot wait to be officially yours either,” I said, and a rare smile spread on his lips. As I settled back down in his arms, that smile grew wider. The iPod switched albums, and Johnny Cash’s “I Won’t Back Down” began to play. With his chin on my

shoulder and his arms around my waist, Styx began to sing to me. And he sang each of the lyrics stutter free, his words clear and strong. Hidden tears built in my eyes as I listened to his deep, rough voice singing the hauntingly appropriate lyrics. My strong, hard fiancé, who could only communicate by song or sign, paralyzed by the spoken word, so perfect in my heart. So as the tears fell silently into the bath water, I listened to him sing. For once in his life, his trapped voice was set free from its cage. And, for a while, so was he.

Chapter Five Styx One week until the wedding . . . The brothers were in the yard behind me. I could hear the Stones playing and my brothers laughing and fucking joking around. Phebe was back. AK was back to his usual self. Life was back to normal for a while. I was sitting on the bench in front of Hades and Persephone’s mural. My Fender was in my hands, a smoke was in my mouth, and bourbon sat to my side. As always, Waits came from my guitar strings as I inhaled deep breaths of tobacco. My fingers played

my favorite song, the one that always reminded me of Mae. “Again,” she’d said that first night she’d awoken in the compound. I’d opened my eyes, as I’d played alone in the bar, to see her before me, my fucking dream come true, speaking in that weird accent she still had. “. . . please, play it again. I very much enjoyed hearing your voice,” she’d begged, nose twitching, her ice-blue eyes wide from nerves. A smirk came to my lips thinking of those days. So fucking much had happened since then. Even more was happening now. The cartels and the Diablos were back on our radar. Garcia had raised his ugly head after all these fucking years. But all that shit was pushed aside for now, until after next weekend. I hadn’t told her. Mae still didn’t know what was

bothering me. She’d given me the space I needed. And being the perfect bitch she was, she hadn’t pushed. She’d fucking loved me, fucked me, been there for me, but said fuck-all since the night she’d tried to talk to me and my throat had closed so tight I’d had no fucking words. I tipped my head back and looked at the stars above. I couldn’t fucking say my vows. I knew that now. Ky had tried. For the past several weeks, he’d tried shitty idea after shitty idea until, two nights ago, I’d turned around and told him to finally call it quits. He hadn’t wanted to, of course. But there was fucking no point. I was a motherfucking mute and that was that. I’d been this way my entire life. Nothing would change it. “Suck my cock, asshole!” Vike called out, his voice cutting through the Stones’s “Paint it Black.”

I shook my head and looked back at the mural. Three Waits songs later, the clubhouse door opened and Mae stepped outside. She’d been gone all day with her sisters. Wedding planning and shit. I had no fucking clue. I left them to it. Lilah, Grace, Phebe, Sapphira, Maddie, and Bella followed her outside. They were all laughing and joking . . . and they were all fucking free. Mae’s arm was linked through Bella’s. As if sensing me watching her in the dark, Mae turned my way and stilled. When her sisters saw me, Mae told them something and headed toward me. The other cult bitches left, I assumed, to go find their men in the yard. Bella watched Mae come my way. She smiled at me, a huge fucking smile, then left for the yard too. I had no idea what that was about.

“Styx?” Mae said as she approached. She wore jeans and a tank with a leather jacket over the top. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, and she looked fucking stunning. Hades’s face was stretched over her stomach. She ran her hand through my hair. “What are you doing out here all alone?” I put my guitar down and took Mae’s hand. I pulled her down on my knee and wrapped my arms around her. She laughed as I kissed her neck, then grew silent as she stared at the mural. Nudging my chest with her shoulder, she said, “I remember that night you showed me this mural. The night you told me about Persephone falling in love with the dark lord. How no one could understand how the goddess of spring loved him, wanted to be by his side.” She smiled and turned her face to me. I was

instantly fucking trapped in her wolf stare. “But I could.” Mae laid her head back on my shoulder. “I could see how Persephone fell in love with him. Hades was strong and dark, scary and brutal to most.” Mae’s hand threaded through mine. “But to her, he was kind and strong and protective. He showed her a world she could never imagine. He showed her his heart and she, in turn, gave him hers.” Mae’s eyes were glittering when she looked back at me, and I took her lips. When I pulled back, I lifted my hand. “She’s still you to me,” I signed and pointed to the mural, to Persephone with her jet-black hair and her ice-blue eyes. “And Hades is still you to me,” she said and shifted on my lap. She faced me. Her eyes searched mine then, taking my hands, she

whispered, “I know what it is.” I tensed and watched her eyes fill with sympathy. Her thumbs ran over my hands, the only tools I had to communicate. Mae brought them to her mouth and kissed the tattooed skin. She pressed them against her cheeks. “I know the war you have been battling in silence.” She let out a laugh that held fuck-all humor. “I worried for a time that you no longer wanted to marry me.” I was sitting up, ready to pull back my hands and tell her she was fucking wrong, when she tightened her grip. “But then I watched you. I watched you struggle to speak. Speak even to me, to Ky.” A fucking fat tear spilled from Mae’s eye and dropped to my arm. “And then I knew that it was about the wedding.” Mae dropped my hands and straddled my thighs, her face right before mine. In seconds, her hands

were on my cheeks. The python was back, squeezing my throat. And my heart was beating too fucking fast. “There is no need for pride between us, River. There is no sin nor any perceived weakness that will make me love you less. In fact, helping you with your burdens welcomes you into my heart even more.” I looked away, but her hands on my face brought me back to her. “When you learned of my past . . .” Her breathing hitched. “When you learned of the scars between my legs, you did not shame me. You did not blame me for what I now understand was not my fault. But instead, you held me. You held me and loved me and made me feel safe.” Mae leaned forward, kissed my fucking Adam’s apple, and reared back. “In a week we shall marry in front of our friends and family. And I want you

to be the man you are now.” Mae took my hands again, and she fucking smiled, destroying me where I sat. “I want you to promise yourself to me, but I will not see your pride and dignity jeopardized simply for the unnecessary sacrifice of words.” Mae dropped my hands and I put them on her waist. “I will see you sign your promises to me, and I will accept them just as readily as if you had shouted them from the gates of heaven itself.” Her head tipped to the side. “You are my River, my Styx, and next week you will be my husband. However that is declared is no issue to me.” I dropped my head and worked real fucking hard on not being a weeping pussy. I took a deep breath and swallowed back the tightness from my throat. “I . . .” I gritted my teeth and tried again. “I j-just wanted t-t-to f-f-fuckin’ t-talk.”

Mae sighed and shook her head. “It matters not, baby. As long as you are there and we walk away married and forever joined, that is all I could ever dream.” My shoulders sagged, and when I saw the truth in her eyes, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. “Y-you don’t c-care?” Mae shook her head and pressed her forehead against mine. “Not at all.” She moved back, kissed my mouth, and whispered, “You talk with both your hands and your mouth. I know that and accept that, and so do your brothers. It is only you that wants this so badly.” I nodded and sat up straight, putting my hand on the back of Mae’s head. “Fuckin’ love you,” I said, and fuck me, but I said it without a stutter. Mae wiped a tear from her face. “I love you too.”

I kissed her. I fucking took her mouth and made her mine again. When we pulled back, Mae handed me the Fender. “Play for me,” she said and moved to sit on the bench beside me. I held the guitar and Mae laid her head on my shoulder and her hand on her stomach. My lips twitched, and I played the song she kept singing around the house. A perfect fucking song for my wolf-eyed bitch: Johnny Cash’s “First Time Ever I saw Your Face.” My fingers strummed the strings and the words poured from my mouth. Mae’s free hand touched my thigh as I sang the whole fucking thing. As the final lyrics left my mouth and the silence became thick, Mae fucking blew my world apart. “We are having a boy.” My hands froze on the neck of my Fender, stilled

on the strings, and I snapped my head to Mae. My heart was a fucking cannon in my chest as Mae lifted her head and, with tears running down her pale cheeks, smiled and fucking laughed with happiness. “I had a sonogram today. I wanted it to be a surprise.” “A-A . . .” I closed my eyes and fucking pulled my shit together. “A b-boy?” “Yes.” The minute she said the word, I put my guitar down and pulled her into my arms. Her hands gripped my neck, and I pressed my hands on her stomach. “A f-f-fuckin’ boy,” I breathed and couldn’t stop the fucking smile that pulled on my lips. “A son,” Mae whispered, and she put her hands over mine on her stomach. “We are having a baby

boy, River.” I looked up, not knowing what the hell to do next, and she said, “A boy just like his father.” Her fingers brushed past my eyes. “Just like you. My River, my Styx.” “Fuck,” I whispered and Mae laughed out loud. “He will be strong like you and brave and kind.” “Ch-Charon,” I said and watched Mae’s eyes cloud in confusion. “The n-name. Charon. Th-the b-boatman of the R-r-river Styx.” “Charon,” Mae said and nodded. “It is perfect. Just like his daddy. Like this club. His heritage . . . his home.” So kissed her again, my kid—my fucking son—in her stomach between us. And as she settled back into my arms, both of us staring at the mural, I prayed to Hades that my boy wouldn’t have this fucking speech shit to deal with.

Mae wanted him to be just like me. But I wanted him to be like her. Strong. Perfect. My whole fucking world. Styx, Mae, and Charon. The python left me momentarily, my fucking throat felt free, and I didn’t stutter to Mae that night. Not fucking once.

Chapter Six Mae The wedding day . . . “There.” Beauty moved back to inspect her work. “Well, shit, darlin’. I never thought you could be more beautiful than you already were. But I was wrong.” I took a deep breath when all my sisters gathered around me. They all looked stunning. Beauty had done their hair and makeup too. They wore their hair down, and their makeup was soft and delicate, just like my own. “You all look so beautiful,” I whispered, working hard on not allowing any tears to fall from my eyes.

Bella bent down and kissed my head. “It is almost time.” I inhaled deeply then nodded. I rose to my feet, and Beauty came around me with the veil. She stood on tiptoes and pushed it into my hair. Bella, Maddie, and Lilah fanned it around my dress, and they all moved back. A large mirror stood before me, and I stared at the woman looking back at me. I could not believe this day was finally here. Beauty laid her hands on my shoulders and smiled. “I’ll go and take my seat now, Mae.” Sudden nerves accosted me when I realized that the ceremony was just around the corner. Beauty left the room, but I still could not tear my attention away from my reflection. We were in one of the rooms in the clubhouse—Ky’s. The ceremony was happening in the yard. We had spent the past few

days decorating the area with whites and blues. Pastor Ellis from Lilah’s church was conducting the ceremony. I adored her. Delayed the wedding a month just so I could have her conduct this day. “You ready, Mae?” Lilah came to stand beside me. I looked at my friend and nodded my head. “It feels strange,” I whispered and shook my head. “Like I have waited my entire life for this moment. Like everything I went through, all of it, the trials and tribulations, the joy and the pain, was all worth it because it brought me here to this exact moment.” I laughed. “To marry the boy I met behind the fence all those years ago. On the worst day of my life, he appeared like a dark angel. My dark angel.” Lilah smiled, and I knew it was because she felt the same way about Ky.

Maddie handed me my bouquet of flowers. They were white to match my dress. Blue flowers were sporadically placed amongst the white to complement the bridesmaids’ dresses and, of course, my eyes. “He will not be able to believe his eyes when he sees you,” Maddie said. Bella stood beside Maddie. My two blood sisters, one green-eyed, one with ice-blue eyes like mine. I stared at Bella for a moment. She was my miracle. Risen from the dead and here to witness this day. Maddie had married Flame in private, and Bella had married Rider at New Zion. I hadn’t gotten the chance to witness their weddings. But then I looked to Lilah and prayed that my ceremony was as perfect as hers. “It will be,” she said, reading my mind. “You are

marrying Styx. Even if hell itself ascended and fiery storms tore this compound apart, you would still feel this day was perfect. Because on this day, your heart forever melds with his. Your River.” “It was always him, you know?” I whispered and lowered my eyes to stare at the bouquet. “I found my soul mate at age eight. And here we are, about to be joined all these years later.” “With baby Charon watching from his seat in heaven until he joins you in this world,” Maddie said and a lump blocked my throat. I nodded, unable to speak. “Mama? When do I get to throw the flowers?” Grace asked from the back of the room. Lilah turned to her daughter. “Soon, Grace.” She waved her hand. “Come here, baby.” Grace went to Lilah and held her hand. As I

looked at the reflection before us, I saw a picture. A family picture of love and loss, but mostly endurance and survival. “I am honored that I have you all standing here with me.” “Mae,” Bella murmured and I saw her flick a tear from her eye. “It is true. All of us were deemed evil, seductresses of men. All of us were hurt because of our faces.” I shook my head. “But as I look at us now, I see no cursed women of Eve. I see four women who are blessed, who are loved and love in return. Enriching the lives of their sisters, friends, and husbands.” I smiled at Grace, who was watching, wide eyed. “And children.” “And it is because of you,” Maddie said softly. I turned to face her. Her cheeks flushed and she shrugged. “It is true. You were the one to find the

courage to flee the only world we had ever known. And you returned for us, pulling us from the pits of darkness too.” “No matter how unwillingly,” Lilah joked and I laughed. “But it was a blessing I did not expect.” She hugged Grace closer to her side as she ran her hand over her wedding band. “I did not know that life could be this beautiful.” “Thank you,” I said, remembering the day I fled, the day of my wedding to the prophet. Hounds and disciple guards chased me to the fence. And then I broke through, hitched a ride and found myself at the Hades Hangmen compound . . . and back to the boy who had stolen both my first kiss and my heart. River. “I love you all,” I said, and heard my voice break. My eyes shimmered and blinked as I tried

desperately to rid them of tears. I did not want to ruin Beauty’s hard work. A knock came on the door, and the knob turned. Elysia, Ky’s sister, stuck her head through, all curly blond hair and blue eyes. “I’ve been told to come and get y’all,” she said then stopped dead in the doorway. “Hell, Mae, you look beautiful.” She smiled and waggled her brows. “Styx is gonna lose his shit when he sees you.” I laughed at Sia. She was funny, like Ky, and just as gorgeous. “Y’all make stunning bridesmaids too, ladies,” she said and winked at Lilah. “What about me, Aunt Sia?” Grace said and held out her arms to show off her dress. Sia gasped. “Well you’re the most beautiful of all, Gracie Bell,” she said dramatically. “Hell, I thought that just went without saying.” Grace

smiled smugly, and Sia looked at me. “Stephen’s out here ready to walk you down the aisle. And Styx is already waiting at the altar.” “He is?” I asked, feeling butterflies swarm in my stomach. Sia nodded excitedly. “And I gotta tell ya, girl. Styx is like another brother to me, but jeez, he looks as handsome as all hell out there, all spiffed up and fancy. You’re gonna be all over that shit when you see him.” “Sia!” Lilah scolded, but fought hard to hold back her laugh. “What? It’s true!” She tapped the edge of the door. “I’ll be waiting by the main doors.” She met my eyes. “Good luck, doll.” She left and I held my bouquet more tightly. Bella’s arm linked through mine. “Are you ready,

sister?” “Yes,” I said and felt the strength of that answer all the way to my bones. Lilah and Grace led the way out toward the yard. Maddie went next, then Bella, then me. When I hit the hallway, I saw Stephen, my father, turn as he waited by the closed doors to the yard. He was dressed in a tux—the only attendee that would be. He had told me he had wanted to do this right. “Mae,” Stephen whispered as I approached. He held out his hand and I slid mine in his. I met his gaze and saw his eyes begin to shimmer with tears. “You look so so beautiful, my girl,” he rasped, fighting the lump in his throat. My girl . . . “Thank you.” I pulled back my hand and ran it

down the lapel of his tux. “You look very handsome.” Stephen smiled, then lowered his head. When he looked back up, he said roughly, “It is an honor for me to walk you down the aisle today, Mae. I have waited for a moment like this for too many years to count. I cannot believe we are actually here right now. It’s like a dream.” His gaze drifted over my shoulders to my sisters. “All of us. All of you looking so perfect . . .” he cleared his throat. “My brave daughters.” “Father,” I whispered and blinked away my tears. Stephen stilled. “Father . . .” he repeated, and this time a tear drifted down his cheek. “I will never tire of hearing that word from your lips.” He kissed me on my cheek, then threaded my arm through his. “I believe it is time. I do not want to

face Styx’s wrath if we don’t get you out there and married as soon as possible. He is not a patient man when it comes to you.” I laughed, but knew he was right. Styx would not think twice about marching in here and carrying me to the altar to speed things along if I did not hurry up. Sia waited at the doors. “You ready, Mae?” “Yes,” I said but then quickly held up my hand. “Just . . . one moment, please.” I moved to the window that overlooked the yard as my sisters took their places. I discreetly looked through the glass, and I felt a wave of nervousness as I saw all the brothers in their seats. Phebe and Sapphira were beside AK, Flame, and Vike. Letti and Beauty were with Bull and Tank. I saw Ky at the altar, dressed in a white shirt and his cut . . .

and then I saw him. My heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped breathing, and my body stopped moving. Styx, my Styx . . . he was . . . he was . . . beautiful. He stood at the altar with Pastor Ellis before him. His head was down, and he was rocking from side to side. I knew how nervous he was. His hands wrung together at his front. And then he turned to hear something Ky had said, and my breath whooshed through my parted lips. He wore dark jeans and a black bolo tie with the Hangmen emblem embossed in the silver buckle. And then there was his cut. The top couple of buttons of his shirt were undone, showing his many tattoos and tanned skin. His dark hair was messy, exactly how I liked it. And then there were his hazel eyes, bright under his furrowed brow, his

dark stubbled cheeks making his irises look even greener. He was about to become my husband . . . “You good, Mae?” Sia asked, and I turned to face my sisters. “I am ready,” I said, knowing each word was true. “I am more than ready.” Sia smiled and left through the doors. I took my place beside Stephen, behind my sisters and waited for the music to begin. Today I would marry the boy who had pulled me from my deepest despair. Today, I would become Mrs. Mae Nash . . . . . . at long last, I would be home.

Chapter Seven Styx I saw Sia emerge through the doors and give me a huge smile. She threw up her thumbs, telling me Mae was ready. I kept my hands joined together so no fucker here could see them shaking. I would sign today. I’d fucking made peace with that shit. The pastor knew, my brothers would expect nothing else, and now all I had to do was wait for Mae to walk outta that fucking door. Ky leaned toward me. “You shitting yourself?” I glared at him. He laughed, and I pulled at my collar. It was fucking too hot out here. The sound of Sia clearing her throat came from the back of the yard. I looked up, as did everyone else,

and some froufrou classical music started to play from the sound system. It wasn’t Nelson or Waits, but Mae had picked it, so that made it all fucking okay. Sia opened the door. I couldn’t see in, but I didn’t have to wait long. Grace stepped out looking as cute as fuck in her little white dress. Ky smiled as his daughter began throwing white petals on the floor. She walked down the aisle like she had no fucking care in the world then ran the last few steps until she was by Ky’s side. “Good fucking job, kid,” he said and took hold of her hand. Lilah was next, followed by Maddie. Ky was fixed on his wife, and when I looked at Flame, the brother looked about ready to launch from his seat just to be with Madds. Bella followed, Rider and

his mother, Ruth, smiling at her from the back row. And then my eyes locked on the doorway. I counted. I’d counted to eight when I saw the first flash of white. I tensed, all my muscles locked tight as Mae stepped out of the door arm in arm with Stephen . . . and I felt like I’d just taken a fucking crowbar to the stomach. Fuck, but she was perfect. Mae clutched onto both her bouquet and her father as she made her way to the top of the aisle. Then she looked up, paralyzing me with that wolf-eyed gaze. Every fucker here seemed to fade away as I saw her smile under her veil, her pink lips bright and shining through the lace. She started walking, and it took everything I had not to race down the damn aisle, rip the veil from her face and smash my lips against hers. But I held still, just watching this bitch—the bitch

who had flipped my world upside down as a kid— make her way toward me. And with every step, I saw it all in my head. I saw her crouched behind the fence, crying. I saw my defective mouth open and speak to her, her big fucking blue eyes seeming too big for her face as she looked at me, as she joined her hand with mine through the chain fence. Then her on the floor of the compound behind the dumpster, opening her eyes, lying in my arms, fucking bleeding and dying. Her watching me play Waits, me being able to speak to her again. Kissing her against the tree at McKinney State Falls, her forgiving me for freaking out over her scars, then her letting me make her mine. Getting her back from the cult, then never fucking letting her go again. Then the best of all, her telling me she was having our kid and that she would finally be my

fucking wife. All of it was there in my mind. Every fucking day I’d spent with her. Mae stopped at the end of the aisle. Stephen kissed her on the back of her hand, fucking smiling through his tears. He then turned to me and shook my hand before moving to sit on the front row, fucking beaming at his daughters. Ky moved aside, and I held out my hand to Mae. The second her small fingers pressed against my palm, I fucking breathed. Finally fucking breathed. I caught a glimpse of her eyes through the veil then, before I was even asked by the pastor, I lifted it over her head, cupped her cheeks, and pressed my lips against hers. Like she did every time, she melted against me. I heard my brothers calling out

and Vike’s fucking annoying voice shouting, “Ain’t at that part yet, Prez!” But I took her mouth, not giving one shit. She was mine. I’d take her fucking pink lips if I wanted to— I owned her and she fucking owned me. When I broke away, Mae giggled against my mouth. Pastor Ellis leaned forward, grinning. “Shall we begin?” The pastor started talking, talking some religious bullshit I had no interest in hearing. Then it was time for the vows. We’d agreed on just the normal vows. I didn’t want a fucking fanfare. I wanted my signing to be quick and to the point. Mae had been understanding, of course. She always was. Mae went first. Ky gave her the ring. With her hand in mine, she repeated what the pastor told her to say. “I, Salome Nash, take thee, River Nash, to

be my lawfully wedded husband . . .” And I listened to her. I listened to her tell me she’d fucking stand by me in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part. Pastor Ellis turned to me, and I felt my heart slam in my chest. I swallowed, feeling the python wrap around my throat. And it squeezed. It squeezed so fucking tight that I felt the muscles in my neck cord. Mae squeezed my hands. When I looked at her, I realized Pastor Ellis had spoken. “Are you okay?” Mae whispered just for us to hear. I nodded once. Then I couldn’t fucking tear my eyes away. I stared at my bitch and was fucking floored. All black hair and blue eyes and those fucking pink lips. Her dress, our kid in her stomach . . . all of it. All of her. So fucking perfect. Right here. Right now.

“Mr. Nash, your vows,” Pastor Ellis said, and Mae pulled back her hands so I could sign. But as she did, something in me snapped and I held on tight. Her brows pulled down in confusion; then she tried again. But I still didn’t let go. I knew she’d be able to feel the shaking of my hands as I gripped onto her. I knew she’d be wondering what the fuck was happening. So I looked to the pastor and nodded my head, urging her to talk. She looked lost as fuck as well, but I gave no shits. I fucking had to do it. Meeting Mae’s confused gaze, the pastor said, “Repeat after me. I, River Nash, take thee, Salome Nash to be my lawfully wedding wife.” Fucking dead silence followed her words. So quiet that I heard my heart beating in my ears. Heard Mae’s quickening breathing. I heard my lips

parting and my harsh breath coming from my throat. “River, please, you don’t have to,” Mae whispered under her breath, her eyes widening as she realized what I was about to do. What I fucking needed to do. This was Mae. Our wedding day. And I was fucking going to speak. I tried to find the words, but all that came out was hot air. Swallowing, I ticced, my head flicking to the side—I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop those fuckers—and tried again. My fingers gripped on to Mae, and I found the ability to pathetically stutter, “I . . . I . . . R-R-R—” I closed my eyes and worked on loosening up my throat. “R-River . . . N-N-Nash.” A bead of sweat rolled down my neck. I opened my eyes, and the minute I saw Mae’s eyes shining with tears, fucking happy, proud fucking tears, I knew I had to keep going.

Mae’s hands clutched onto me like she was my damn anchor. The bitch was, and she didn’t know just how much. “T-Take th-th-thee . . .” I paused, breathed, then stuttered, “S-S-Salome N-N-Nash tt-t-to be, m-m-my lawfully w-w-w-wedded w-wwife.” I blew out a breath like I’d just run a motherfucking marathon. I heard a sob tear from Mae’s throat, and her arms were around my neck like a vise. “I love you,” she whispered and I fucking held her close. “I love you so much. I am so, so proud of you right now.” I felt my throat try to close, but I would not let that fucker do it until I’d gotten through these vows. Mae stepped back, cheeks wet, as Pastor Ellis finished the last of the words. I got through them . . . just. Then the rings were in our hands.

“I do,” Mae said and slid the black ring on my finger. I stared down at the piece of metal and knew that fucker would never be coming off. “Do you, River Nash, take Salome to be your lawful wedded wife?” Looking my wolf-eyed bitch right in the eyes, I opened my mouth and, without stuttering even once, said straight to Mae, “I do, babe.” The fucking smile I got from Mae could have lit up the fucking night. “Then by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. River Nash!” I felt something catch in my motherfucking chest and had to cough to the clear the fucker away. Something different settled down. Fuck knew what, but I liked it. “River? You may now kiss your bride,” Pastor Ellis finished.

Before the end of her sentence had even left her mouth, I had placed my hands on Mae’s face and crushed my lips to hers. Mae moaned and fell against me. My brothers hooped and hollered, and I just took Mae’s mouth, ignoring them all. I pushed my tongue against hers and fucking held her tighter in my grip. I took and took until I pulled back to get a fucking breath. Mae’s eyes were dilated, and the tears still fell down her cheeks. Beautiful. “You spoke,” she whispered above the sound of everyone’s loud calls and celebratory gunshots. “You spoke, River. To me. In front of your club. Our vows.” “Y-yeah,” I stuttered and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “My husband,” she said and turned her head to

kiss the center of my palm. My fucking wife, I wanted to say in return, but the python was back in place and my words were gone. But for once, I didn’t give a shit. I’d spoken the ones that had needed to be said. And that was all that fucking mattered. An arm hooked around my neck. “You fucking dick,” Ky said, but I heard the damn pride in his voice, the fucking rawness. I looked at my best friend, and he winked then shouted, “Get the fucking music on, bitches! Get the beer flowing and the fucking grill on full blast. We got a fucking wedding and the Hangmen Mute finally speaking to celebrate, motherfuckers!” The brothers laughed and got to work. We ate, we fucking drank and, when the night closed in, Sia moved to the speakers and told all the brothers to

get the hell out of the way. Mae took my hand and pulled me into the center of a makeshift circle. My brothers pissed themselves in laughter at me, but they didn’t have Mae in their arms so, as far as I was concerned, they could all fuck off. “I-I d-d-don’t f-f-fuckin’ d-dance,” I whispered into Mae’s ear. She laughed, the fucking high-pitched sound making my lips twitch. “Just this once, I promise,” she said when I heard familiar chords begin to play. I raised an eyebrow as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I gripped her waist as Tom Waits’s “I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You” began to play. “I had to,” Mae said in response to my expression. “It was the song you sang to me when I woke from running away. The one that I will always think of

when I think of you.” She shrugged and twitched that fucking nose, destroying me where I stood. “It is us.” I yanked her closer and felt her head tuck into my neck. And then I sang. I sang the words that had brought her back to me, made her fucking mine. And I sang every word until the end. As the music changed from Waits to Garth Brooks, I said, “I wwant you home n-now.” Mae met my eyes, nodded, and kissed me on my lips. “I want that too. I want to make love to you as man and wife. As Mr. and Mrs. Nash.” So we left. And I was gonna make her mine. ***** I held Mae’s hand as we walked to the cabin. My

thumb kept brushing against her wedding ring, and I couldn’t describe the fucking feeling that settled in my chest when it did. When I looked up, Mae was watching me, her pink lips pursed. “You like it as much as I do?” she asked, batting those huge black lashes of hers. I lunged forward and lifted her in my arms. Mae squealed and laughed when I approached the door. “Beauty told me about this tradition,” she said as I opened the door to the cabin and stepped over the threshold with her in my arms. I leaned down and kissed her mouth. “I like it,” she added when I pulled back. Bitch was killing me. I took her straight to the bedroom and lowered her feet to the floor. Mae’s hand was on my chest, running over my Hangmen Texas tie. “I really like

you like this, all dressed up. You look so handsome that I lost my breath when I saw you.” Bitch was really killing me. I crashed my mouth to hers and led us backward until Mae’s legs hit the end of the bed. She carefully lowered herself down, and I drew back. With Mae’s wolf eyes leaden, I shucked off my cut and tie. I ripped open the shirt she loved so much and tossed it to the ground. Mae’s cheeks filled with red, and it took all I had not to just throw her back on the bed and fuck her. Something inside of me needed my dick in her immediately. Needed to make her Mae Nash. Needed to make her officially my old lady once and for fucking all. “And now the jeans,” Mae said and I had to clench my jaw to hold myself back. I raised my eyebrows,

and she hooked her lips up in a fucking sexy smile. I snapped the buttons of my jeans and kicked them off my legs. My hand fisted my hard-as-fuck cock, and I walked toward her. Her chest was rising up and down as her breathing came faster. Her tits pushed against her dress then, making me groan out loud, her hand covered my hand on my cock. Her left hand with my ring on her finger. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the damn sight. “Mae,” I growled then stepped back and freed our hands. She didn’t have her veil on now. Just that dress and, as much as I loved her in it, I fucking wanted it off. I lifted Mae from the bed and placed her before me. “F-fuckin love you,” I said and closed my eyes when her mouth hit my chest and her tongue flicked over my tattoos. Her hands ran down my sides until they crossed over the front,

brushing over my hard cock. I spun Mae around, finding the long line of buttons on her dress. I snapped them open, one by one, careful not to just lose my shit and rip the fucker off in pieces. When I reached the bottom, I spread the material and pushed it off her arms. I ran my mouth up her bare shoulders and neck, where her hair was tied up. Mae gasped and bumps broke out on her skin. “Styx,” she whispered as I dragged the material off her hips until it reached the floor. She turned around, and I had to move the fuck back when I saw white lace covering her pussy and white stockings on her legs. “Fuck, b-bitch,” I rasped and my fingers ran over the waistband of the panties. “I wore them for you,” she said quietly; then she leaned against my chest. Her full tits—now much

bigger from being knocked up—pressed against my skin. The tip of my dick ran against her stomach, and I clutched the lace panties in my fists. I pulled, not giving two shits that I ripped them clean off. “Styx!” she said in shock. I ran my fingers along her pussy and over her clit. The minute I did her words faded into a long groan. “They c-come off.” I stepped back and pointed to the stockings and garters. “B-But they st-stay the fuck o-on.” “Yes,” she said, lips swollen and nipples fat. I lifted her in my arms, smashing my lips to hers. Mae’s fingers gripped my hair as I lowered her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. Her stomach was so big now that she normally rode me or I took her from behind, but tonight . . . “I wanna f-fucking s-see your face,” I said and reached for the pillow. I tucked it under Mae’s back, raising

her hips. I hooked her legs over my arms; then I ducked my head, spread her pussy lips, and licked from her hole to her clit. “Styx!” she cried and clawed at my hair. Her clit was already swollen and full, and I knew it wouldn’t take her much to come. I flicked my tongue over her clit until her hips started bucking. I kept her spread open as I drank her down. Then Mae tensed and screamed as she came. I lapped at her pussy until she jerked and tried to push my head away. I kissed her inner thighs then moved over her hips, over her bump, until I reached her tits. I licked the flesh and sucked her hard nipples into my mouth. When I glanced up, Mae’s eyes were closed and her lips were parted. Strands of her hair had fallen from their clips. And she looked fucking perfect.

I kissed up her neck, then her mouth. I pushed my tongue inside, knowing she’d be able to taste herself on my tongue. But Mae took it, bringing me closer. Breaking from her mouth, I pushed the fallen hair from her face. “F-fuckin’ wife,” I whispered out and saw her eyes close like they were best fucking words she’d ever heard. “My husband,” she said when her eyes reopened and she ran her fingers down my face. “Mae,” I growled, needing to be inside her. Moving further between her legs, I braced my cock at her hole then pushed forward. I braced her head with my hands, holding my stomach off hers. Mae’s hands wrapped around my neck, and I never once broke eye contact. Those fucking eyes that had me under her goddamn spell. Mae’s eyes, Persephone’s eyes . . . fucking ice-blue wolf eyes.

I gritted my teeth when I filled her, bottomed the fuck out. “River,” Mae whispered, her eyes fucking shining with tears. She’d called me River. Even now, after all this time, when she called me by my real name in her weird accent, I fucking lost it. “B-Babe,” I hissed as I pulled out then pushed back inside. “F-fuckin’ perfect,” I added, rolling my hips as I took her harder and faster. Mae moaned, her lips parting as she lost her breath. I moved faster still, harder, deeper, then reached for one of her hands behind my neck. I pushed my fingers through hers and laid her hand flat on the bed. I did the same with the other hand and stared at the rings on our fingers. Those fucking rings. Those fucking pieces of damn metal and gold stealing my motherfucking breath. “My husband,” Mae murmured again and I felt her

pussy clamping down on my cock. “Styx . . . I am . . . I am . . .” she moaned, cutting off her words, before her eyes locked with mine and she came. Her pussy gripped my cock, and the sight of her, head tipped back, mouth open, had me slamming inside her one more time as I came too, filling her with my cum, her pussy draining all I had. I pushed inside her over and over until I slipped to the side, bringing her with me. We were coated in sweat, but I fucking loved how she looked, wellfucked and all fucking mine. I still held her hand, the one with the ring. Nothing was said as we caught our breath, until Mae moved her head closer to mine. “It is strange, is it not, how such a small piece of jewelry can make your heart feel so complete?”

“Yeah,” I said, my voice dry and raw. “Yet it feels as though it has always been there. Always destined for this simple ring to grace it. I think when God designed me, he already had you in mind. Look.” Mae held up her hands, her fucking small fingers against mine: pale against tanned, clean against tattooed. “A perfect fit.” “F-fucking k-k-killin’ me, b-bitch,” I said and watched her smile up at me. Christ, I was sure no fucking other bitch on the damn planet was as beautiful as her. “I was so proud of you today,” she said her eyes shining again. I shrugged. “W-wanted to say those v-vows.” “You floored me, and everyone else there.” She guided my hand to her stomach, and I laughed when I felt our son kick. Mae giggled. “I think that

Charon is telling you he was proud of his daddy too.” I didn’t know why, but that was the comment that fucking hit me hard. “D-don’t think I ever made my old m-man pproud,” I confessed and watched Mae’s expression fall. I ran my hand over her pale stomach, smirking when my kid kicked again. “W-Wanna be a g-good dad, M-Mae. Want ou-our son to be pr-proud of mme.” “He will be,” she whispered, and I watched the tears roll down her face. “How could he not? You stood up at the altar today and spoke. I watched you fight back your demons and win. I watched you fight your throat for the words you so badly wanted to say. In front of a crowd—your worst fear—yet you spoke. You took my hands, although they shook, and committed yourself to me . . . and our

son, out loud.” She paused. “He will be nothing but proud of you. And I will watch him adore you, want to be just like you. His daddy, who struggles yet rises, victorious, every time.” I swallowed at her words, and she moved closer to me. Her head was on my pillow. “What?” I asked. “I wrote vows for you, River.” I nodded, knowing that she had. I’d seen some of them on her notepad. “I wrote them before we decided on the traditional vows.” She glanced away then, coming back to me, said, “I would like to say them to you now.” I nodded. There was no fucking way I could speak. Mae cleared her throat and held onto my hand. Then she spoke. “River. I did not know what life was until I found you. The boy who came into my life as a child. The boy with no voice who

miraculously found words in my presence. The boy who kissed me on my lips, blessing me with the foreign, unreachable concept of hope. The boy I was always destined to love. The boy who held the sweetest music in his heart, who saved me, and showed me what it was to be home.” Mae laughed when her voice cracked with emotion. But I kept listening. I didn’t want to miss a damn word. “You accepted me, a girl who had known nothing but pain and sorrow in her life. And from the moment I saw you again, years after you comforted me by the fence as a broken, bruised child . . .” She smiled. “And kissed my lips as an eight-year-old girl, I was yours. We fought. We had to fight hard to be together, through too many obstacles to count. But in the end, our love was triumphant. A love that was impossible to forge in

such a harsh world, but one that rose from the ashes regardless, to be pure and real and true.” Mae placed her hand on my cheek. “Because you are my Hades, my misunderstood, tortured dark lord. And I am your queen, your Persephone, the blue-eyed woman who saw through your shield and won the trophy of your heart. Forever to keep. Forever mine. And mine, forever yours.” Mae exhaled when she finished, and I had no fucking words. I never did, but this time it was worse. “Y-You’re it for m-me, b-babe,” I said and watched Mae’s face melt into fucking pure happiness. “Y-You know that, y-yeah? I ain’t g-got words, b-but I got that p-promise.” “Thank you,” she whispered like I’d just written her a damn poem or some shit. “Love you, babe,” I

said and kissed her fucking lips once more. “I love you too,” she said then beamed a fucking smile my way. “And you did not stutter, not even once.” So I took her fucking mouth again. When Mae pulled back, she said, “Play. Play for me, River.” Her hand went to her stomach. “For us.” Slipping from the bed, I took hold of my Fender and sat beside her. Mae lay against my shoulder and put her arm around my waist. And I played. I played and sang until I took her again, face to face, staring into those fucking wolf eyes I loved so much. The ones I was never letting go. Not even for a fucking second.

Epilogue Styx The coast, Texas One day later . . . I watched as she ran over the sand toward the beach. The sun was setting and night was closing in. She glanced over her shoulder, smiling; then she looked back toward the sea. I inhaled drag after drag of my smoke and felt the fucking sand beneath my feet. I leaned against the porch post of the cabin we’d got for the week. No club shit. No people here but us. Just me and Mae and the fucking sand and sea.

“What is the ocean like?” she’d asked months and months ago. “What does the sand feel like on your feet? What does it feel like when the tide rushes over your bare legs?” “It’s the ocean,” I’d said and shrugged. “It is my dream to see it,” she’d said, lying on my chest. “I have read about it in books. It would be a dream come true to smell the salty air and walk on the golden sand.” I knew I had to bring her here when Beauty started giving me shit about a honeymoon. A fucking honeymoon. I was the prez of a motherfucking outlaw MC. There were no fucking honeymoons to tropical islands. We had enemies sniffing the fuck around twenty-four-seven, waiting for a chance to strike. I had runs to make and guns to trade. But I could do this. Texas. Beach. Mae acting like I’d

just given her the fucking sun. “G-Get in the tr-truck,” I’d said to her this morning. “Got s-somewhere I wanna t-to show you.” Mae came. Lilah had packed her bag and shit for the week. I just needed my cut, my shirt, and my jeans. “Where are we going?” she’d asked. “Just s-somewhere,” I’d replied, and I’d driven us the four hours it took to get here. When I’d opened the door five minutes ago, the windscreen showing us nothing but a cabin and a private beach, Mae had gasped and stayed stock still in her seat. “Styx,” she’d whispered then opened the door of the truck and stepped outside. Her hands had covered her face, then dropped as she tipped her head back and closed her eyes as

the breeze ran over her skin. And then she was off. Running onto the sand, kicking her sandals to the side. She’d laughed aloud feeling the sand beneath her feet. And then she was running toward the rolling tide. I’d followed and lit up a smoke, and here I was now. A happy fucking scream came from Mae when the water ran over her feet. She was dressed in a long white dress, her black hair down. The wind kicked up the jet-black strands, and when she looked back at me, laughing and smiling with those pink lips I loved so much, her blue eyes shone brighter than I’d ever seen them before. She stopped and held out her hand. Like a fucking moth to a motherfucking flame, I walked over the sand until I was beside her at the water’s edge. I

wrapped my arms around her waist, and she fell back against me, covering my hands with her own. “I cannot believe that you have given me this,” she whispered, her voice trembling as she watched the sun dip in the horizon. “Yeah,” I rasped. “You always give me my dreams, River. Everything. Every day is a blessing with you.” She turned in my arms. “Every day with you is a dream come true. I can scarcely believe this is my life.” “Yeah,” I said again and kissed her lips. When I broke away, Mae took my hand. “Shall we go into the cabin? I very much want to show you how much I love you. I want to show you how much I cherish you. And I want to make love to my husband, the one who gives me the world in ways I never believed were possible.”

Mae smiled, the wind blew her hair across those wolf-fucking-eyes I adored, and I simply answered, “Yeah.” With her, it would always be motherfucking yeah.

The End

Pronunciation of Charon — (Care-RON), (KeirRON) or (Kare-RON). Inspired by the Greek mythological boatman of the River Styx, not the moon of Pluto which is pronounced differently.

Up next . . . Crux Untamed (Hades Hangmen #6). This is Elysia’s story (Ky’s sister). As for her love interest . . . that’s a secret for now!

Hades Hangmen Series It Ain’t Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen #1) Heart Recaptured (Hades Hangmen #2) Souls Unfractured (Hades Hangmen #3) Deep Redemption (Hades Hangmen #4) Damnable Grace (Hades Hangmen #5) I Do, Babe: A Novella (Hades Hangmen #5.5)

Upcoming Hades Hangmen Novels Crux Untamed (Hades Hangmen #6) Darkness Embraced (Hades Hangmen #7) And many more…

Playlist It Ain’t Me, Babe — Jonny Cash I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You — 10,000 Maniacs Lemon Drop — Pistol Annies On That Day — Asgeir I Shall Cross This River — The Black Atlantic Boys From The South — Pistol Annies Time After Time — Iron & Wine Dream In Blue — The Stray Birds Sweetly — The Show Ponies Dreams — Caroline Glaser You and Me — You+Me Can I Be Him — James Arthur Falling — Joshua Radin

Tomorrow Never Comes (Acoustic Version) — Zac Brown Band Home Is In Your Arms — The White Buffalo Bride — San Fermin Dance With Me — Jaye Bartell First Time Ever I Saw Your Face — Jonny Cash I Won’t Back Down — Jonny Cash Last But Not Least — Zac Brown Band To listen to this playlist click here

Acknowledgements Mam and Dad, thank you for all the support. Thank you to my husband, Stephen, for keeping me sane. Samantha, Marc, Taylor, Isaac, Archie, and Elias, love you all. Thessa, thank you for being the best assistant in the world. You make the best edits, keep me organized and are one kick ass friend to boot! Liz, thank you for being my super-agent and friend. To my fabulous editor, Stephanie. I couldn’t have done it without you. To my trusted beta readers, you did it again. Thank you!

Neda and Ardent PRose, I am so happy that I jumped on board with you guys. You’ve made my life infinitely more organized. You kick PR ass! To my Hangmen Harem, I couldn’t ask for better book friends, thank you for all for everything you do for me. My Flame Whores, you make each day that little bit more special. Thank you. Jenny and Gitte—you know how I feel about you two ladies. Love you to bits! I truly value everything you’ve done for me over the years, and continue to do! Thank you to all the AMAZING bloggers that have supported my career from the start and the ones who help share my work and shout about it from

the rooftops. Thank you to all my wonderful author friends. It would be a scary world without you to lean on. And lastly, thank you to the readers. Without you none of this would be possible.

Live Free. Ride Free. Die Free!

Author Biography

Tillie Cole hails from a small town in the NorthEast of England. She grew up on a farm with her English mother, Scottish father and older sister and a multitude of rescue animals. As soon as she could, Tillie left her rural roots for the bright lights of the big city. After graduating from Newcastle University with a

BA Hons in Religious Studies, Tillie followed her Professional Rugby player husband around the world for a decade, becoming a teacher in between and thoroughly enjoyed teaching High School students Social Studies before putting pen to paper, and finishing her first novel. Tillie has now settled in Austin, Texas, where she is finally able to sit down and write, throwing herself into fantasy worlds and the fabulous minds of her characters. Tillie is both an independent and traditionally published author, and writes many genres including: Contemporary Romance, Dark Romance, Young Adult and New Adult novels. When she is not writing, Tillie enjoys nothing more than curling up on her couch watching movies, drinking far too much coffee, while

convincing herself that she really doesn’t need that extra square of chocolate.

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