Once She Dreamed Part 2 - Abbi Glines

Published by Abbi Glines 10 N Section Street Suite 147 Fairhope, AL 36532 [email protected] Copyright © 2016 by Abbi Glines All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Abbi Glines. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Table of Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Epilogue

Chapter One MY DREAMS WERE full of fairytales. Traveling the world, going to fancy parties, and even outrageous closets full of clothes. When I opened my eyes I felt ashamed of myself even though I couldn’t exactly control my dreams. It still felt wrong to be so wrapped up in the things Hale could give me. I liked him as a person. To me he was more than his money. But would you like him if he lived in Moulton? That was momma’s voice in my head. Bringing me back to reality. The truth was, a part of me was superficial. I wasn’t in love with Hale. I was fascinated with him because of the life he lived. This was a part of my journey. It wasn’t like I was marrying the man. I was working for him, and although he said he wanted more, and score one for momma because she’d just said that to me, I wasn’t sure what more would be. Could I fall in love? Would it be easy because of all he could give me? You were raised better than that. Momma’s voice again. Ricocheting around in my head. While trying to clear my thoughts I finished making up the bed and dressing. Momma’s voice finally left. Images of Hale did not. It was just after sunrise and although Felicity’s note said Hale would awaken at eight ready for breakfast on the balcony with the morning paper, I wanted to have a head start making everything perfect. Plus, I really needed my own bite of breakfast and some coffee. I studied myself in the mirror. The new wardrobe that arrived last night had been surprising. Everything felt different. The fabric even smelled fancy. Figuring out what I was supposed to wear everyday was confusing. The two really extravagant dresses hanging in my closet were the most mind boggling of all. Where would I wear those? Last night I’d slipped on the shoes that matched them and lapped the room a couple of times. They gave me the silly feeling of playing dress up. Like I was a child or something. He’d even had panties and bras delivered. I wasn’t sure why it mattered what I was wearing under my clothes. I figured no one saw that and my undies were just fine. But these felt nice. Satin and silk. Putting them on made me feel like a princess. After changing three times I decided that the black linen shorts and delicate looking sleeveless blouse were good enough for casual. Though they didn’t feel casual in the least. The price tags were gone, but I had a feeling that clothing arriving without a price tag was too shocking for the average person to comprehend. Cooking breakfast in this was going to make me nervous. He’d said not to unpack my bags, meaning he didn’t want to see me in any of my own clothes. Hale wanted me dressed in what he had purchased and

I would do what he said. I tried not to focus on the cost of my outfit. I pulled my hair back into a loose low braid and proceeded. The penthouse was quiet. Just the light muffled sound of the busy city came through the windows. I went to the glass doors in the living room and stepped outside to take in the view. I needed reminding I was here. Everyday I would need reminding. I was afraid I would suddenly wake and this would all be a dream. I’d be back in Moulton at the bakery. Something I did not want. The part of my life that kept me in Moulton was over and done with forever. I hugged myself and smiled as I studied the city below me, bustling and colorful and pulsing, people hurrying about in their business attire, while others carried shopping bags. The tourists were obvious with their cameras and phones snapping photos for friends back home. Soon I would be a part of that world. Hale would take me to parties and lunches. I would walk the streets in my expensive clothing just like I lived in a movie, one continuously playing for me. My smile grew as I imagined what life with Hale was going to be like in the future. Would he take me to his other homes? Would I travel with him on his plane? I had no idea what surprises were in store for Sammy Jo Knox from Moulton. I wanted to see so much. Do and experience it all. New York City could never be uncovered, because there was so much inside it to reveal. And I wanted to peel it back. As much as I thought I could. That wasn’t greed, now was it? Was my ambition blind to that? Was my desire to live my dream and its fancies arrogant self-absorption? These questions pinged in my head. Turning around I went back inside and headed for the kitchen to cook. My stomach was rumbling loudly. I needed food to think about this. I knew if I called and asked momma, she would tell me “yes, you’re being greedy.” But then, of course, I could tell myself that momma didn’t understand things. She saw them differently because of the way she had lived, which wasn’t the life I desired. I was a dreamer. I chased after my dreams. I wanted so much more and I wouldn’t feel bad about going after my goals. If I hadn’t wanted more I would’ve missed this opportunity by being married to a guy in Moulton, when Hale stopped by the bakery. Things align and have a reason. That, I believe in my heart. Knowing there was something bigger, a thing barely at the tips of my fingers, has kept me going since I was little. I loved the fantasies I created in my head. They were escapes from the reality I was born in, its hard edges and sharp nasty points, pricking my dreams everyday. Now, here I was, living fantasies. I wanted to think that daddy was in heaven smiling down on what I was doing. He knew what I wanted to do. Not once had he told me I shouldn’t. I also wanted this life for my sisters. Even if they didn’t for themselves. I knew if I could show them there were other options outside of Moulton, Alabama, they’d soon see things different. Momma was Moulton. I understood that. But I wanted to give her more. Less worries about money and the bakery. I would send cash home to make that happen, as soon as I got ahead. Hale brought me here to change me. A part of me wanted that. To belong to the life he lived. But I was scared of what it all meant. This was going to be a huge leap. I had come and would somehow survive.

Chapter Two I HEARD HIS voice before I saw him. He was on his phone as he walked down the hallway from his room past the kitchen. I could tell from his tone it was business. He was annoyed and irritable and gesturing. Moving quickly I finished up his breakfast. He wanted two poached eggs and kale salad, mixed with dried cranberries and walnuts. It didn’t seem very filling to me. Nor did it look appealing. I was glad I wasn’t expected to eat this. My sugary cereal with slices of banana would serve me well as usual. “I can’t move the meeting. I have a prior engagement. It’s at seven and I won’t miss it.” As he walked back into the kitchen, Hale spoke into his slim, flat smartphone. I had his French pressed coffee prepared. The French press thingy had thankfully come with directions. I’d never seen anything like it. He took it from my hands sighing loudly. “Lunch here will be the best I can manage. I’ll be here at twelve like we planned. They can join me here. Otherwise this will have to wait.” Hale ended the call and slipped the phone into his pocket. He greeted me, but it took effort. “Good morning Sam,” he said with a tight smile. He didn’t look as if the morning was good at all. If he’d let me fix him a real breakfast he might enjoy it better. “I’ll take my breakfast outside. Where is the paper?” He asked, walking quickly towards the exit of the kitchen. I snatched up the paper I’d retrieved from the door and lifted his plate to follow. I wondered if this was what he wanted. Someone to wait on him hand and foot. I’d never been around a man who needed a servant. My daddy would’ve been slapped, if he’d asked my momma to serve him. But I was the hired help. Maybe this was a rich people thing. I had a lot to learn. The romantic guy from yesterday was gone and in his place was… this. I wasn’t here for romance anyway. At some point a line would be drawn. I guess Hale was drawing it now. He took a seat at the table and I waited until he settled back in his chair. I then placed the plate to his front, positioning the paper to its left. “Can I get you anything else?” He looked at his food and then me. “This is perfect. Are you not eating?” “I ate earlier this morning when I woke up.” He motioned to the seat across the way. “Please join me if you will. I hate to eat alone.” I liked it out here in the open with the energy of the city just below us. Maybe waiting and eating

with Hale wouldn’t be so bad. That is, if he wanted me here. I took the seat across from his stare and he immediately studied my clothes. “Better. Much, much better.” Saying thank you seemed silly since he’d bought the clothing and knew what it looked like before. The fact that my clothes hadn’t been good enough still bothered me, but this was different. I was wearing a work uniform. I guess that was how I’d look at it. I’d have to let that go. He might know what was best for me. Here anyway, in the city. “I wasn’t sure what to wear while working.” His smile was one of amusement. “You chose well. Did you try on the cocktail dresses?” I assumed they were the fancy ones, so I hadn’t done more than touch them. I was afraid of the price tags and fabric. “No,” I replied, with a shake of my head. “Make sure they fit and that you like them. You’ll be needing them soon enough.” I would? He was ready to take me out in public? My heart rate increased and then I realized I might go into a panic if he did. Or if he kept talking about it. “Will you be having a lunch meeting here?” I asked to change the subject. I would need to know how many were coming and what to prepare when they did. He nodded. “Yes. For three.” Good. That would give me something to do until then. I hated feeling like my time was wasted. “You can clean my bedroom and bathroom. I’m going to stay out here and handle a few calls. Hopefully I’ll get a moment’s peace, to read the paper without being bothered.” There was something else to do. I hadn’t thought about that. I should get in a maid’s frame of mind. He was confusing me with all this talk of parties and fancy clothes. I couldn’t remember who I was. “Okay,” I said, instead of the “yes sir,” which almost fell from my lips. I wasn’t sure he’d like that very much. “Can I get you more coffee?” I asked. He shook his head. “Not yet. Give me about fifteen minutes. I’ll be ready for another cup.” I glanced at my watch. He seemed to like things on a schedule. “I’ll be inside cleaning if you need anything.” He tilted his head to look. Those eyes were something else. Straight from a magazine. He could easily model in his spare time. “Do you like it here?” he asked. I nodded. “Yes. Yes I do.” A grin spread across his face. “Good. I like having you here.” Then his hand reached forward to gently caress the inside of my wrist with his finger. “You make things that were dreary, exciting.” I wasn’t sure how I was doing that exactly. But it made me smile and my cheeks heat up into a blush that he noticed in an instant. “I’m glad,” I replied, almost breathless. He chuckled and pulled his hand back. I hurried inside to take a deep breath and think about what he’d said. Hale was a confusing man. It didn’t seem like he’d be anymore understandable today, tomorrow or forever. I wanted to please him, but a part of me worried about losing myself along the way. While I made his bed and put towels in his bathroom I thought about the luxury that surrounded him. This was a life he fit. I needed to taste it, but I wasn’t really sure I’d ever belong like him. Like now, right now for instance, I wanted to put on cut off jeans, a tank top and knot my hair up. Pile it on top of my head.

Although, that wouldn’t do for here. I wasn’t home working on the farm. I was where I’d always dreamed of being and I had to start trying harder to adjust and mold to this world. If I was choosing this life, then I would have to make it work, regardless of the changes involved. Hale had taken a chance by bringing me here and I’d also gambled by coming. Perhaps what would change would be me. A little, not a lot. I would take it a day at a time.

Chapter Three “HE’S CHANGED YOUR clothing. I liked what you were wearing before.” Ezra’s voice made me jump and turn. He was standing in the kitchen’s entrance. Without thinking I immediately responded. “I’m supposed to look a certain way. Ever heard of a uniform?” Even though it came out kind of harsh, Ezra’s compliment made me feel good. He smirked, crossed his arms over his chest, then leaned against the doorframe. “I just hate to see him do it. There’s nothing wrong with you now. But he’ll change you, wait and see.” I turned back to the salad I was making. Him standing there like a cowboy in a painting made me a little nervous. There was no doubt the man was gorgeous. In that Texas cowboy way. Though I knew it was only an act, because he wasn’t, he worked for Hale. “Hale is outside with the other guest.” He didn’t move. Although I wasn’t looking at him I knew Hale hadn’t budged. I had ears and the man was soundless. He replied, “I know where he is. I’m not in a hurry to join them.” Ezra was weird and strange. I didn’t need him intruding with Hale. I wasn’t quite sure what there was between us, but this guy was an employee. He should care about upsetting Hale. Both of us had the same boss. “Why’re you in here with me when there’s a meeting that doesn’t include me? Shouldn’t you be with them?” This time I turned to make him leave faster, though I figured he would do what he wanted. “Not real big on Hale’s meetings. I don’t have to fuck with this one.” Oh, well, okay. I didn’t know what to make of this man. Each episode with him became stranger. I wanted to dislike him, but there was something about him that was attractive, it drew you in. Maybe it was his personality. He didn’t give a shit about much. Or seemed not to care. His vibe was more than dangerous, and that can be really sexy. “I need to serve the appetizers.” I lifted the tray of zucchini with the goat cheese tarts I’d made. It was a recipe Felicity had suggested that seemed easy enough. It gave me confidence for dishes that would take more time and contained various ingredients. I was thinking about this when Ezra moved towards me to take the tray from my hands. “I’ll take it when I go.” That didn’t sound like a good idea. He was a guest of Hale’s. A guest and an employee? This became more and more confusing. “Uh, I better take it. That’s my job.”

Ezra studied me a little too closely. It made me feel like fidgeting and looking away, but I held his gaze and returned it. “Are you scared of Hale?” When he asked me his voice dropped. It was lower and almost threatening. Frowning, I shook my head. “Why would I be scared of Hale?” His entire body seemed to relax as he gave the tray back to me. “You take it then,” he replied. Then he left without explanation. I took a deep breath, tried to push it from my thoughts and focus on the job I was hired for. I gave Ezra a minute to get outside before I followed with the tray I’d prepared. I thought about what momma would say, how she’d react to this: “Lord, that ain’t enough to feed a man! Make a pot roast with potatoes and gravy!” Smiling at the thought I took the food. Only Ezra seemed to notice me. I placed the appetizers on the table with his gaze against my skin. I glanced at Hale, who simply nodded, while speaking to the other guest. That was my dismissal. Hurrying back inside I slid the glass. Ezra’s focus was still on me. I was accustomed to the stares of men. I just wasn’t used to the Ezra’s. He might think this was some sort of game, but it was my future he was dealing with. I wasn’t going to anger Hale, get fired and sent back to Moulton. Ignoring Ezra was best for the present. Even though he was making it hard. The rest of the lunch was the same. Ezra watched me like a hawk. Hale acted as if I was invisible. I managed to behave in a way that I thought would make Hale happy. When I heard them all leave I finished cleaning up the kitchen while waiting on Hale to come to me. He didn’t say a word. I heard his footsteps down the hall and a door close behind him and then there was silence as usual. I went outside to get the rest of the dishes and then made the kitchen perfect. After that I headed for my room. Hale was closed in his office and I could hear his voice through the walls asking questions. It was muffled, but I knew they were questions. There was nothing for me to do. I wasn’t sure I was allowed to go out. Was I to wait and expect to be needed? I laid down on the bed with a New Yorker magazine I’d found in the living room. I would read and see what happened. Or perhaps I would fall asleep. The sharp knock on my door sent me bolting upright in the bed like a child from a nightmare. I never took naps at home. This job and the city seemed to wear me to a frazzle. Everything was always in motion. Moulton, Alabama wasn’t here. I hurried to the door to open it. Hale stood there with a grin on his face. “Did I disturb your beauty sleep?” “Sorry. I don’t know what happened. I haven’t done that very much. Not since I was a baby.” I then blushed. “But, I don’t remember. Being a baby that is.” My God I’m babbling, babbling. “You woke up early and spent the entire morning working and doing your job. It’s okay to nap.” I was relieved to hear him say that. “You are, however, wrinkled. Change into something else. We’ll go out and explore.” I was wrinkled? Really? I glanced down and figured I still looked fine, but I didn’t argue with the man. “Okay,” I agreed. “I can’t wait to see the city.” To be released from the penthouse I would do what he asked. I wasn’t used to being indoors. It was

beginning to feel like a jail and my boss was the jailer who kept me. Naw, that’s too dramatic. I must be imagining things. Hale smiled and walked away. I hurried to my closet, once again overwhelmed, with the selection I had to choose from. I managed to find a dress that looked classy but was casual enough for exploring. I chose a pair of sandals with a heel. I wasn’t sure about walking all over New York, but there weren’t any flats in the closet. I brushed my hair and put on some lip-gloss. Studied myself in the mirror. I was still Sammy Jo from Moulton. That hadn’t changed a bit. But there was someone else in my reflection. There was polish and sophistication. I once dreamed that I would see myself dressed in clothes like these. But the reality was even more amazing. I was really living my dream.

Chapter Four I THOUGHT WE would walk the streets. But again Hale surprised me. There was a black Mercedes waiting. When we stepped onto the curb Williams was there to greet us. He opened the door for Hale and myself to slide inside the car. “Williams, it’s so good to see you.” The very first friend I’d made in the city was here to join our trip. He grinned and nodded his head. “Get in the car Samantha.” Hale spoke tightly from behind me. Breathing down my neck. I wanted to say more to Williams, but Hale seemed annoyed by my greeting, so I slid inside the car onto the smooth leather seats that were warm. Unlike the exterior, they were the color of butter and the temperature inside was perfect. “Times Square,” he ordered as Williams closed the door. His attention then turned to me. “You don’t speak to the hired help as if they were your friends. They are my employees.” “But I’m the hired help.” His frown then eased to neutral. “Not exactly. You’re not like Williams. You’re taking care of my place and I’m meeting your needs.” I bought the groceries, cooked and served his lunch and also the lunch of his associates. I cleaned the house and wore what he wanted. And was getting paid to do this. So yes, I was a hireling. An employee like Williams. But I also didn’t want to argue because Hale was taking me out. I was no longer locked in the penthouse. Only seeing those he wanted me to see. “Okay,” I replied without interest. I wanted to say so much more, but I didn’t, this life being foreign to me, and perhaps this behavior was normal. Being open to a different way was a must if I wanted to live here. Moulton wasn’t the norm. Momma’s program was nothing like this. Say, for example, if you tried to compare the sun to a forty-watt light bulb. Moulton being the bulb. “What exactly do you want to see in Times Square? I’ve often wondered what attracts the tourist.” What you thought of when you heard the name of the city were Times Square and the Statue of Liberty. “I’ve seen it on television since I was a kid. I want to stand in the middle and absorb it. Take it in like I own it or something.” Hale chuckled. “Fair enough.” I watched the city pass by from the window, wishing we were out there walking, soaking up the energy that rolled off the people as they hurried to their appointments. They had their coffee in hand,

phones at their ears, with shopping bags or briefcases swinging. There was so much excitement that including myself seemed like the thing to be doing. I wanted to hustle somewhere. “She’s changing her shoes,” I said in awe, as a woman came from the subway. She jerked off the sneakers she was wearing to slip on heels for the streets. “That’s the business class for you.” Hale said it without emotion. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I thought it was incredibly cool. A young guy started to walk into the street while staring down at his cellphone. I started to yell to stop him, when a yellow cab blared his horn. It flew right past him, barely missing his leg, the cab never slowing down. I then decided that phones in the streets were a major no-no for me. “Do people get hit often?” I glanced at Hale who was also busy on his phone living the life of speed. “Daily,” he replied. “That’s seven dead people in a week. In Moulton that would take two years.” He stuck his phone in his pocket and finally looked up. “Let’s go see Times Square. Then we’ll go shopping on Fifth Avenue before we eat at one of my favorites. It’s in the Meat Packing District. You’ll like it.” That all sounded wonderful to me. “Okay,” I agreed. Before Williams stopped the car I could see it. The big, bright and shiny glowing place I’d daydreamed all my life. I was here. It was just like the movies. I wanted to push the car door open and leap from the vehicle running. I then thought about the cabbies and their obvious reluctance to slow for pedestrians in the street. I remained in the car with amazement. I didn’t want to be killed while exploring. “Is it all you thought it would be?” “More,” I replied honestly. “Is this good sir?” Williams asked. He pulled up right beside what looked to be a massive M&M store. “Yes. I’ll text when we’re ready.” Hale told him with a passionless bluntness. I started to say thank you to Williams, but bit my tongue instead. He got out of the car with my fingers on the latch, beginning to open my door. Hale put his hand on mine. “No. He gets the door.” Another thing I didn’t understand. I was perfectly capable of opening my own. I didn’t see why Williams had to. But I waited and let the man do it. The silliness piled and piled. As I climbed out I whispered a “thank you” before turning my attention to the screens, their colors running the square. “Oh my. My, oh my.” I wasn’t the only tourist here. They were everywhere. It was easy to see the majority of people in the square weren’t New Yorkers. The busy suits and ties were absent. Just cameras, families, and what appeared to be a cowboy standing in his underwear. Oh, and also, there were cartoon characters and a sad looking Mickey Mouse. “Why is that man in his underwear?” I asked Hale as he came up beside me. An Asian family was having its picture made with the almost naked man and his guitar. A line had formed behind them. There were females my age waiting with their phones, their sorority shirts identical. “The Naked Cowboy,” Hale responded. “One of the wonders of Times Square with its tourists.” He didn’t seem to think it was wondrous. His tone was again annoyed.

“He just poses for photos and whatnot? Or does he play the guitar and sing?” Hale rolled his eyes. “He gets money for the photos. People tip him. Now, let’s go stand in the middle and let you take it all in so we can go. There are more enjoyable parts of the city that don’t include these people.” I was enjoying myself just fine right here, but I didn’t say a word. I followed Hale to stand in the middle. I needed a picture of this. To print and send home to Hazel. She would squeal when she saw where I was. “Will you take a photo of me?” I dug for my phone in the chaos of my purse and the searching drew his attention. “Of course,” he replied. Then frowned at the sight of my purse. “After this we’re buying you a new one. Several new purses in fact.” I glanced down at the purse my mother had made me. She’d sewn it for my graduation. I liked my purse. But it didn’t match my clothing. There was an obvious difference and he saw it, another thing I wouldn’t have imagined. Handing him my phone I stood back and smiled. I extended my hands as if supporting the world, or more like Times Square in my palms. Very touristy indeed. Just as he took the photo a woman came up to his hip. She was painted metallic gold and wearing a tiny bikini. He frowned, “no thanks” was his sharp reply, though it didn’t seem to faze her. She had money tucked in her bottoms. I assumed she was another of those photo people who get tipped for taking pictures. I was tempted to get one with her. Jamie would think it was hilarious. “I’ve had all of this I can take. It feels and smells disgusting.” Hale said it too loud and the gold woman left and then he came over to me. I agreed the smell wasn’t very agreeable, but we were standing on the world’s crossroads. Sometimes adventure was smelly. “Let’s go shop for the items you need.” He then pressed his hand on my lower back and led me to the waiting Williams. I didn’t say a word.

Chapter Five SHOPPING WAS MORE intense than I imagined. I picked some clothing but didn’t get to wear it, because models wore it for me. I then chose the items I wanted and tried them on myself. When I thought we were done, because it took forever, we ended up somewhere else. The last stop was Louis Vuitton. I bought two purses quickly. As quickly as Hale would allow me. They cost more than any automobile my momma ever owned. As exciting as it felt to have them, I felt guilty for taking them with me. I wasn’t sure I wanted the life I was living, though I always thought I would. I guess adjusting could take some time. I’d dreamed of beautiful clothing, expensive meals and a life that was charmed. But the reality of it was different. Hale wasn’t in love with me and I wasn’t his Cinderella. There was nothing about him that was prince-like. I had no idea what I was to the man or what we were together. And it was I, Sammy Jo Knox, who was stuck in the middle of this “thing.” Whatever this “thing” was becoming. Several times throughout the day Hale would answer his phone. I thought that might bring the shopping to an end. Deep down I wanted it to. The money he was spending increased my discomfort, because it wasn’t necessary. If momma could see this she wouldn’t approve. It was ego, extravagance and arrogance. Neither of the three did she care for. Was that why it bothered me so much? I knew momma wouldn’t like it? She’d warn me and I would ignore it. What if this time she was right? His phone rang again after Louis Vuitton and he checked it without responding. Looked at the screen and then held it. We were settled in the back of the car. I thought we might be going to dinner. Although, after the shopping, I wasn’t sure he wanted to do that. He knew that the lavish treatment had set me off kilter a bit. Actually, it had floored me. He then turned to me and spoke. “I need to go to dinner with a friend who is only in town tonight. You’re not ready for that kind of thing.” He then looked back at his phone. “Your clothing is, but the polish of the clothing isn’t sufficient enough. I’ll drop you off at the penthouse. You can put away your new things and enjoy the evening as you wish.” I wanted to sigh in relief. Being alone sounded good. I was always tense with Hale. Unsure what he’d say or do next. I didn’t want to feel this way. If I could just put my finger on what had changed that was making me nervous around him. When Williams parked at the penthouse I was anxious to escape the car. To return to the jail I’d wanted to flee earlier in the day. I was tense from my time with Hale. I wasn’t typically like this. He stepped onto the curb then held out his hand for me to be helped from the car. I could do it myself,

but I let him. It seemed rude not to do so. Once outside he pressed a kiss to my cheek and spoke softly into my face. “Williams will deliver your things after he’s dropped me off. I’ll see you in the morning Samantha.” Then he climbed back into the car. Williams closed the door behind him and hurried back around to leave. I didn’t watch them go. I was ready to get back inside. “Man, I need a break.” I’d looked forward to going into the city. Hale had made it something else. The shopping had been stressful and confusing. Why did I need so much? I liked my comfortable clothing and wanted to be able to wear it, especially when touring the city. What I’d imagined I would do was walk the streets and eat the food vendors were selling. Not be whisked from place to place. The way Hale was showing me the city wasn’t my idea of an adventure. He’d be leaving soon though. Hale said he didn’t stay but a few days a month so my solo time was coming. I could do exactly as I’d dreamed. When I stepped from the elevator to head for the penthouse my eyes landed on Ezra. I froze. Couldn’t move. He was dressed as casually as he’d been this morning. Relaxed, he leaned on the wall. Whatever it was he did, didn’t require business attire. I couldn’t imagine Ezra being bossed. Taking orders didn’t seem like his style. There was a dangerous air about him. Yet, he didn’t scare me a bit. “Hale won’t be home until late.” I then forced myself forward to the door. I wasn’t going to stare at the man. He’d think I’d lost my marbles. Although, he was nice to stare at. “Yes, I know. I came to take you to dinner.” What? That got my attention. I paused and looked up at him. “Hale wouldn’t like that at all.” Ezra smirked as if that were funny. “It would seem you’re figuring him out.” He was amused, but I was not. I then entered the code to the penthouse and stepped inside the door. “If there isn’t anything I can do for you, then I will see you some other time.” Ezra didn’t respond. Instead he followed me inside and stopped, inches away from my body. His warmth made me tremble and shiver. I forced my eyes to lift. They met his, waiting on mine. “We can have dinner here. I’ll be glad to cook.” Again, this was not okay. What was Ezra up to? “I don’t think that would be appropriate.” Ezra shrugged. “I’m not worried about appropriate. Sammy Jo, please relax.” He then walked past me towards the bar making himself at home. I watched him pour himself a whisky over three ice cubes before he turned back to me. “Care for a drink?” I shook my head no and huffed. He took a sip and the way his throat muscles flexed were as appealing as everything else. I jerked my gaze off him and stared at the windows wondering if I should call Hale. I didn’t want to get Ezra in trouble, but then I wasn’t sure he cared. He didn’t exactly seem the type to cower to a wealthy man. It was almost as if he mocked Hale. “I’m not leaving Sammy Jo. Hale isn’t coming back tonight. I know where he is and the person he’s with. I’m here to keep you company. Nothing more than that.” He was here to keep me company? So Hale knew he was here? Why hadn’t Hale just told me?

“Why? I don’t need any company.” I wasn’t sure what I was saying. He didn’t respond right away. Ezra walked over to the balcony doors. I waited in silence for his answer. “Because I like being around you. You’re different from the rest of this city. More of what I knew, what I miss. You bring back the forgotten I suppose. It’s pleasant.” That astounded and intrigued me. “You mean your home? Your town in Texas?” I thought Alabama must be similar to Texas. Not that I’d been to Texas. Maybe little towns were alike. “Something like that,” he responded. “Sometimes missing is missing. Doesn’t matter where the place might be.”

Chapter Six “WHAT IS IT you do for Hale exactly?” I wanted to understand their arrangement. How it started. Where it would go. Ezra took another drink. Grinned and held it for a second. I wasn’t sure why that question was funny. I also didn’t want to enjoy the way he appeared when amused. Which, I was currently doing, while staring at the man like an animal. “It’s complicated Sammy Jo. I don’t work for Hale, not exactly. Not the way you think.” “Are you partners?” I thought that would make more sense. Maybe allow him to define it. They looked like they stepped from two different worlds. The same went for Hale and myself. He laughed, said “no,” then laughed even louder. That was oddly attractive. I had to stop thinking of Ezra as attractive. That was not okay. I could see I wasn’t going to get any information so I gave up on that topic. I decided to then become bitchy. Might as well see what would happen: “my clothes will arrive soon enough. I need to put them away. Your company is a hindrance to me.” Did I just use the word “hindrance?” What the hell was wrong with me? Ezra continued his study of my face, that look of his intriguing. “Maybe I do,” he replied. Maybe he what? Needed the company? Sighing, I dropped my purse on the table that led into the kitchen. “Fine then, do what you’d like. I’m going to get some water.” I didn’t look back at Ezra, hoping he wouldn’t follow. The man was downright confounding. He confused my brain to no end. Of course, my body was attracted. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that. But Ezra was hiding something. I could see it in the depths of his eyes. He was watching to see if I could figure the reason they needed one another to thrive. I knew Hale wouldn’t want him here. At least I didn’t think he would. Was that why I’d asked him to leave? Or was it the mystery around this man Ezra that bothered and forced me to push him? I glanced back at the door when I was safely in the kitchen, thinking about momma’s reaction. She wouldn’t approve of this man. He wasn’t polished, so he wouldn’t scare her. She liked the good ole boys. Although, Ezra wasn’t one of those, he just had their appearance and style. I wondered if he was even from Texas. After fixing my water I took a slow drink and walked back into the foyer. I knew he hadn’t left. He would tell me if he was leaving. At least I thought he would. He wasn’t in the living room, but I could see him outside on the balcony. Going to my room seemed rude. Even though it was probably smart. Though I admit, I wasn’t really smart around Ezra. He was entirely too seductive.

The sound of the city hit my ears as I stepped outside to confront him. Ezra glanced back at me. “I was debating if you’d hide in your room or come and visit with me.” So much for my confrontation. “I thought about it, then I didn’t.” “Don’t doubt it. You strike me as sharp. Which is why you’re working for Hale.” When he didn’t finish I finally spoke up to relieve our momentary silence. “Finish that comment please.” I demanded, rather than asked. He didn’t seem to mind my aggressiveness, his gaze now back on the city. “You’re not Hale’s typical choice. You don’t fit the mold.” “His choice in maids?” Ezra turned to me. “You know what I mean Sammy Jo. You’re smart. Don’t be naïve.” I wanted to throw my water in his face. It was the way he said “naïve.” But I didn’t, because Ezra was right. I sounded backwards, dumb and naïve. I knew exactly what Hale had planned. He’d told me as much when he hired me. “There’s a mold?” I needed clarification. I knew his last housekeeper was old and feeble and had retired when the job was too strenuous. It wasn’t like he hired girls that often, to eventually… what? To date? “Typically the women he hires, for starters, aren’t very likable. They’re digging for gold and are here for a reason, to become the wife he doesn’t have. One he doesn’t need. He’s built for marriage about like me and I tell you I don’t want that.” Ezra had spoken in the plural. Said the words “the women he hires.” Was I simply the next in a line? Hale made it sound like he needed me here. Like he’d found me and wanted me near him. Surely he didn’t hire girls, clothe them and plan these events, as part of a wife finding process. He wasn’t like that. I knew it. “I’m not exactly sure what you mean.” Ezra finished off his whiskey. “Then maybe you are naïve.” Not the answer I was looking for. I fought the urge to stomp my foot and demand he answer my question. I deserved an explanation. “Who do you think worked here before you?” “An older lady that retired. She’d been working for Hale forever.” Ezra looked disgusted. “That’s what he told you?” I nodded. “Fuck,” he muttered. I hoped he’d elaborate. I realized from his reaction that I wasn’t told the truth, but then, who to believe? Hale or Ezra? Which? I didn’t know. Ezra was a stranger to me. He could be causing trouble. Hale had brought me here, given me this life, while Ezra was a guy who’d annoyed me from the very first minute I met him. “Maybe you need to go.” I was feeling more and more confident, without really understanding why. I didn’t want to be angry any more. “I’ll go. But you’re going to need me. Eventually. Trust me on that.” He’d said something similar before. His certainty began to worry me. It wasn’t like he was trying to convince me. He was warning me. That was it. He made it exceptionally hard to ignore.

“Okay,” I said. “I hear you.” I didn’t say anything else. I had nothing more to say. I wasn’t sure I believed this man. It seemed unfair to trust him over Hale. Ezra started to walk back inside. Just as he reached the glass, he stopped and turned back to me. I realized I was holding my breath, afraid of what he would say. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. “Be careful. Pay attention. Don’t assume that anything is a gift.” He then went through the entry and closed it behind him without waiting for my rebuttal, any question I might have had. I didn’t follow Ezra. I stood there replaying his words in my head, again and again, over and over, like a recorder was lodged in my brain. I was careful and did pay attention. It was his comment on the gifts that bothered me. I wasn’t comfortable with what Hale had bought. If Ezra was being honest, if there’d been a string of women, then what, what would I do? Do I stay here or go back to Moulton? This remained an opportunity. A chance I’d never had. That evening my mind ran through its scenarios until I couldn’t imagine another. Some were terrifying, while others made good sense. By the time I closed my eyes, I was sure I was overreacting. Time with Hale would ease my mind.

Chapter Seven WHEN MY EYES opened it was dark outside. I rarely woke up in the middle of the night, even when my sisters kneed me. I was a heavy sleeper. Frowning, I rose to check the time, the bedside clock dimly glowing. It was a little after two in the morning. I considered going back to sleep, but wanted to check the apartment. Something must’ve awakened me. A sound, maybe some street noise? Slipping out of the satiny sheets I walked to the bedroom door. Opening it slowly, things seemed quiet and then I heard the feminine giggle, followed by Hale’s deep voice. It was coming from his bedroom. There was a bump, then another laugh. I stood there wondering if this was real or was I asleep and dreaming. Would Hale bring a woman into the penthouse where I was sleeping to have… what? What was I thinking? To screw while I was present? To have sex right down the hall? There was a moan and the woman cried “Hale!” which was met by a muffled “take it!” I froze with my head craned staring at his door, awake and aware and angry. This was awkward and confusing. Especially after what Ezra had shared and the way Hale had kissed me. I listened as the moans grew louder, her cries increasing and when I couldn’t stand it I reentered my room, sliding my feet, the door blocking the noise. It must’ve been their walk down the hallway that opened my eyes to begin with. Sleep wasn’t going to come now. My mind was too busy spinning. Was she the friend in town for the night he had to so urgently meet with? Why hadn’t he said “I have a date,” and then it would’ve been clear. But he chose to overwhelm and groom me with the shopping, which I thought meant something else. His signals made no sense. He did whatever he wanted. Ezra was right about one thing. If I pretended it was something else, I was being naïve and stupid. He’d spent thousands of dollars on my wardrobe and purses, but exactly for what and why? To have the proper appearance when we dated? Was that really what I’d be doing? My job in New York City? A loud female cry made it through the walls, followed by an extended groan. Great, they were getting louder. Just what I wanted to hear. I covered my ears with the extra pillow and closed my eyes till they finished. Hopefully, it wouldn’t last long. Tomorrow I would address this with Hale. He needed to return the clothing or at least take back the purses. He didn’t need me to go to parties. I was here to work for him. If he was planning on having sex with others, in his room so I could hear it, then this wasn’t a relationship. We weren’t headed in a romantic direction. Even the wealthy and the privileged had to have scruples and morals. It wasn’t until the penthouse quieted that I finally fell back to sleep. It was a fitful sleep with dreams

of Moulton, Hale, and oddly Ezra. I stood in the kitchen wondering what to do about breakfast for the two. I hadn’t heard Hale’s guest leave. I supposed she’d be eating as well. There were no directions from Felicity on how to handle overnight guests. It was left to me to figure this out and to be really uncomfortable while doing it. My best assumption would be to prepare enough for both when they awakened. If she didn’t stay I’d put the extra away and eat it later myself. That sounded better than pretending like I didn’t know she was here. I began washing and slicing the fruit. Once his guest left we were going to discuss this. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say but we had to talk this through. To come to some agreement. I didn’t intend to “date” him if he was going to bring other women up to the penthouse to screw. That was mean and rude. I prepared a fresh fruit tray then began making the crepes. Felicity left me a recipe. It wasn’t until I had the turkey bacon cooked that I heard the footsteps behind me. Turning, I saw her there. She was tall and blonde and the towel she was wrapped in barely covered her body. Her exposed skin was tan. She was a model, obviously a model. A gigantic, perfect woman. I wanted to stab her with my fork. “I thought I smelled food,” she said, with a delicate childish yawn. “Could you bring it to the bedroom in fifteen minutes? I need to wake Hale up first.” I would be delivering breakfast in bed. Awesome. What a fun morning. “Sure,” I responded to the woman. I could’ve caved in her head with that vase. Without another word she turned to leave, then paused to spin on her runway. “I don’t drink coffee either. I’ll need green tea without sweetener. Not too warm. Do you hear me?” Before I could respond she was gone. I knew there was an extensive selection of teas in the walk in pantry. I’d seen them there arranged. Apparently she also knew he’d have what she wanted to drink. I started for the pantry when his bedroom door opened for heavier footsteps, headed in my direction. “I have appointments India. I told you last night.” Hale’s voice sounded annoyed. “So you’re going to fuck me for hours, then send me packing like a whore?” “You stayed the night. Jesus, what more did you want?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe breakfast!” “I fed you dinner. Now please leave. I have work to do and this is wasting my time. Dress and get the hell out.” I heard her heels click on the marble as she muttered “you fucking bastard.” I wasn’t arguing with her on that one. He was being terrible. “Last night you sure made it sound like you wanted more of me!” “Last night is over. Time for you to leave,” Hale responded cold and unemotional. I didn’t look for the tea. I left the pantry and went to make the French pressed coffee Hale drank every morning. This was even more uncomfortable than last night’s marathon sex. Only this time I couldn’t hide in my room with a pillow over my head. “Never again you shit. I’d heard you were a dick, but I didn’t believe it, so I thought I would give

you a chance.” “I’d heard you were fucking crazy and should’ve listened to the fellow that told me.” She spouted off a string of curse words then the door slammed behind her. I jumped, hoping she was gone, although I’d soon face Hale and the mood he was in made me nervous and frightened. All the discussing I’d planned didn’t seem like a good idea. “I’ll be outside. Bring my breakfast. I already have the paper.” When Hale said it, it gave me a start. I glanced over my shoulder to see him leaving, our talk now postponed. I didn’t have the nerve to confront him. Not with him like this.

Chapter Eight HE DIDN’T SPEAK or look up from his paper. It went a long way to achieving his goal of pissing me off again. I’d gotten nervous listening to Hale abuse India and now I was disgusted with his behavior. When he finally left for his meeting he said “I’m leaving” and then closed the door. That was it. No explanation. No apology for the sex-fest I’d heard. It was as if I wasn’t even there. I tried to fill my time cleaning the place without allowing my thoughts to drift in the direction of what he’d done. In that, I admit, I failed. I yanked off his sheets like I was tearing out hair, calling him a bastard while I made it. Once that was done I decided to get dressed in the clothes I’d brought with me. It was time to see the city, minus Hale bearing down on me, wanting to control my movements. There wasn’t any reason for me to wait on a call or an order from him in person. I had the phone and would keep it on me. Rifling through my bag I found my blue jean shorts, a tank top and my boots. I took a moment to pull my hair up, then I grabbed momma’s purse. I was dressed for the streets of Moulton, Alabama and not the busiest city on earth. Oh well, I was comfortable. It was New York City on my terms. I didn’t care at the moment if he knew or not and I did not need his permission. At least he never said I did. Glowing with pride I stepped through the door before my mission was suddenly stopped. Ezra slid from the elevator. Why was he back? Again! “Good, you’re dressed. I was coming to get you. Does lunch sound good? It’s on me.” What? “Hale won’t be home until tonight. He’s kinda, somewhat busy.” Ezra added this when I didn’t move or speak, because I guess he felt he had to. “I’m not hungry. I was going to roam.” Spending the day with Ezra wasn’t what I’d planned. He reported to Hale whatever we did and I’m sure the things I said. Really, I had no earthly idea what he did or why he was here. “Then we can roam together. You’ll eventually get hungry and the street vendors here are my personal friends by name. I know the best by the color of their carts. Remember Sammy Jo, I’m from a small town, and our backgrounds are pretty similar. Working parents, low income, etc. I’m basic, just like you. Had dreams and I achieved them. The face of success isn’t always wealth. You can be yourself and keep your soul, because the world has places for that. It isn’t always mean and suspicious. Looking to kill and eat you.” I wanted to eat without the speech. And if he knew the best it would be like a movie, where the

characters ate in the streets. It sounded silly, but I dreamed about that. “It’ll be boring Ezra. You know it like the back of your hand. I need to find it for myself.” I argued, though I actually wanted, a map to where the vendors were. “Please, let me decide that. If I get bored I’ll recommend where to go and leave you as you wish.” That wasn’t a bad idea. “I’m walking,” I said, “not going in a car like Hale made me do.” “Good,” was his reply. “The city is seen from the end of the nose and with every step we’ll take.” Profound, and I was stuck. There was no getting out of this. I liked Ezra more and more. He had a way about him that was hard to ignore. He was a playful little boy under all that toughness. Determined, but really fun. “Okay,” I agreed, tugged my purse on my shoulder and headed to the elevator. He held the door open for me. “I like your clothes,” he said as they closed. I felt his gaze and it made my skin warm. Tingly, but not like the cold. It was as if I were a view that Ezra was taking in. Hale had never done me like that. It was always me who took him in, while he seemed to remain aloof, like some other thing needed doing. They were wildly different men. “What do you do for Hale?” I asked, turning to meet his stare, which was still fixed on my body. Hale’s world wasn’t here anymore. Not until I brought it back in. “I don’t actually work for Hale.” His eyes left my frame. Returned to the elevator doors. “That’s not an answer Ezra.” I said it matter of fact, without realizing I’d barked it. “No, I guess it isn’t.” After he agreed the doors split open and he said “after you.” “So if he finds out we spent the afternoon together he won’t fire you or even get angry?” Ezra chuckled. “No.” He didn’t give me a definite answer, but the warmth of the breeze met my face. The sound of the city was there. I decided I’d let it go. I would enjoy what I had, including Ezra’s company, so I changed my attitude. “Which way?” I glanced from left to right. “Um, Ezra, I don’t know.” I honestly had no idea. “Which way is the best food vendor?” I hoped he didn’t hear my stomach growl. He pointed left. “Thought you weren’t hungry?” I shrugged. “Might’ve lied.” Ezra appeared amused. Hale would’ve been angry or annoyed. Their differences were stacking up daily. And why was I even measuring these men against each other in the first place? After what Hale did last night any chance for us was gone. I would work for him. That was all. Then, of course, whatever their agreement, Ezra might be unavailable. What I needed were friends outside their world. A life when I wasn’t working. I was ready for Hale to leave. His monthly visit had been long enough. “What’ve you seen of the city so far?” “Hale took me to Times Square and then we went shopping.” That, I didn’t want to repeat. “Then let’s go get you the best tamales you’ve ever had in your mouth. Then I’ll show you a slice of the city.”

I’d never had tamales. It sounded really exciting. Better than the hotdog I’d envisioned. “Sounds like the perfect plan. What places are you going to show me?” Finally, I was getting to see it. And with someone who knew it on foot. “Well, you’re a newbie, so I figured we’d begin with a ferry ride on the boat to Ellis Island. Go and see the Statue of Liberty. Might take up our entire afternoon, but we can always do this again. New York can take a year to cover the museums and the haunts of the tourists and the locals. Then you’d still lack hundreds.” I wanted to clap with glee like a five year old with ice cream. That was exactly what I wanted to do. Hugging Ezra seemed a tad too aggressive, but I almost did it anyway. “Thank you,” I said instead. Settling for a more acceptable means to demonstrate my bubbling joy. “Don’t thank me yet Sammy Jo. Getting on the ferry is a pain in the ass, but it’s worth it in the long run.” I had no doubt that it was.

Chapter Nine HE WAS WRONG. Everything was perfect. Nothing was a pain in the ass. I soon realized I could act really silly and Ezra thought it was hilarious. Seeing the things I’d only read about made the little girl inside me giggle. I couldn’t take enough photos, read enough monuments or ask more stupid questions. Ezra patiently answered them all. For the sake of my sisters I was like a tourist guide who could spout any detail desired. I did not miss a thing. By the time we got back to the penthouse it was after six and I was nervous. Hale hadn’t called me all day. I was worried that my being gone like this was going to make him angry. He’d never been angry with me before, but I’d now seen his ugly side and I didn’t want to turn it on me. “Hale may be back,” I said. We were walking toward the entrance. I should’ve been thanking Ezra for the day or a host of things. But my focus was on Hale coming back. My perfect day was about to be marred by Hale shutting it down. “He isn’t.” He was sure but didn’t elaborate. “There’s the best Chinese food in the states nearby. I can call and get us some dinner. Trust me, you won’t regret it.” So Ezra wasn’t leaving? If he was right and Hale wasn’t coming back then we did need to eat somewhere. I enjoyed being around him. He wasn’t concerned about Hale, so maybe I shouldn’t be either. He knew him better than me. “Okay,” I agreed. “Sounds great.” He’d given me his entire day. If he wanted to eat dinner with me, then I should be accepting, not nervous. He seemed to know where Hale would be. Stepping into the penthouse I was shaky. Not sure how to handle Hale. He might send me packing back to Moulton. But Ezra was right. Hale was gone. The place appeared the same as I had left it. “You’re right. He’s not here.” I then sat my purse down on the table and wondered if I should go change it. Once again, I feared his wrath and I didn’t like that feeling. But you were supposed to want to please your boss. That was the normal procedure. Correct? “He won’t be back until much, much later,” Ezra replied without concern. How he knew this was true I couldn’t be sure, but he seemed to be secure in the knowing. I forced myself to relax and trust him. “Would you like something to drink? He’s got everything you could want.” “I’ll get it. What about you? A glass of wine?” I hadn’t drunk alcohol since arriving here. I was still under age, though that wasn’t the reason, I

didn’t feel comfortable drinking around Hale and I had no explanation for that. “I’ll go get a glass of water.” I didn’t wait for him to ask me why or insist I drink the wine. “Okey dokey,” he casually responded. Stepping into the kitchen it gave me time to think about what was happening. I’d enjoyed my time with Ezra. There was a touch of something there. Anxiousness, or maybe excitement, neither one an acceptable feeling. He either worked with Hale or in Hale’s vicinity, though I couldn’t figure that out. He was nothing like Hale, but oddly enough, what I thought Hale would be like, the very first time I met him. Today, for instance, he’d liked making me smile, telling me jokes and when I wanted to do something he didn’t frown or suggest something else. We went to it and did it that second. I got my water and walked back into the living room. Ezra was standing by the windows with a glass of whiskey in his hand. “The wine Hale keeps is excellent. You should try a glass and relax. You’re so pent up, nervous and scared. I wouldn’t stay if I thought it would cause you problems. Trust me on that Sammy Jo.” He came directly to the point and I liked that. “Okay,” I heard myself say. Ezra smiled and the grin made my heart do a stutter like it was trying to tell me something. He was really nice to look at. Now that I didn’t dislike him so much, I could admit the man was beautiful. “Good!” was his jovial reply. He walked back to the bar and opened a bottle, pouring wine in a massive glass. The liquid was so red it was black. “I’m not a big drinker,” I admitted. Ezra smirked this time. “I didn’t exactly peg you as a whorish party animal. The glass is big so you can move it around. Look at it. Shit like that. I’ve never really understood it myself. I’m not exactly a connoisseur.” He was teasing me and self-deprecating, all at the very same time. That was really hard to do, to make fun of yourself and another without being mean about it. Taking the glass I couldn’t help but smile up into his face and teeth. He made being away from everything that I loved easier, which gave me peace. Taking a small sip the liquid was rich and expensive tasting on my tongue. You could actually smell the dollars rising from the glass. The only other wine I had sampled was some homemade swill in Moulton. Ben’s dad had made a batch from blackberries with a tart, sour taste. It didn’t have the smoothness of what I was drinking. This was velvet on your tongue. “I don’t know much about wine, but this sure tastes nice goin’ down.” “It should,” he replied with a laugh. “It’s four hundred dollars a bottle.” He then nodded his head out to the balcony as I collected myself from the floor. “I’ve already called in our order. They’ll ring me when they arrive downstairs. Let’s go outside and enjoy the evening.” Although this wasn’t a date or anything romantic I felt like it was becoming that. We’d done things I once imagined I’d do with Hale, but now I didn’t want to be around him. “When do you leave?” I asked him, once we stepped outside. That suddenly made me sad. The idea of Ezra’s going. I hadn’t been alone today. I liked having him around. He shrugged. “Never know. When the job calls I move quick and immediate.”

And what job was that exactly? “Are you ever going to tell me what it is you do?” He didn’t look directly at me but I could see his shoulders tense. “No,” was all he said. He had his reasons for being quiet. And just because he’d shown me a good time didn’t mean his secrets were mine. I wanted to know more about Ezra. My curiosity was subject to fancy. My imagination got the best of me. “I worked at a bakery with my mom, until Hale came in one day.” I told him because I wanted to share my life. The connection was important to me. “Do you miss it?” His stare came back and was riveted. “I miss my family and friends, not Moulton. Coming here was a much better choice.” “And is this world what you thought it would be?” I thought about that question. Was it? Yes and no. “Not completely. But I’ve only just begun.” He appeared thoughtful and reserved. “New York City isn’t your final destination?” I shook my head. “No it’s not. It’s the beginning of a very long trip.” “Don’t let your desire to see it all make you loose sight of what’s best.” What exactly did he mean by that? “What exactly do you mean by that?” He turned his baby blue gaze to the city. “Don’t simply settle for what you think can fulfill the dream you have. Some roads to a dream, or through it, can actually be paths to a nightmare.” Again he was warning me. But why and from what? Did he worry about me with Hale? “I don’t want more from Hale than a job.” I blurted it like a confession. “Yes, but Hale wants you. He’ll want more and more each day.” I finished my wine, let the warmth relax my body and then Ezra filled it again. I drank my second glass while I watched him get the order from the takeout guy in the hallway. He then grabbed a couple of plates. He was comfortable here as if he knew the place well. Ezra did more than I realized. The mystery around him seemed less important after my second glass. When he filled it again the mystery of wine was the best idea to muse on. I’d have to investigate it further.

Chapter Ten EZRA HAD BEEN correct. The Chinese food was delicious. The best I’d ever eaten. Being this close to that particular restaurant was a major perk for me. I’d be ordering again for sure. He spent the meal telling stories from his past. I laughed for an hour and a half. They weren’t detailed nor did they give me any insight into what he actually did. But they showed me who he was as a person. He wasn’t from wealth like Hale. That much I’d gotten from the tales. I also didn’t think he respected Hale. Or if he did he didn’t show it. The buzz from the wine relaxed me and I enjoyed my dinner immensely. Just as much as Ezra’s company. When he laughed his eyes lit up. There was a beauty in the flash that I wanted to admit before I blurted it out. I didn’t think he was starving for complements, or sponging attention from others, but he was, and he was pretty. Although I didn’t want him to think I was flirting. I didn’t know what to do. “Another glass?” he asked, standing up from the table. I shook my head no. I was tipsy. Strike that, I was drunk. “No thank you. I’ve had my fill.” He nodded and glanced at the time on his phone. “I need to be going. I’ll clean this up first.” I quickly stood to help him. “You can go ahead and go. I’ve got this. Really I do.” He paused and his eyes locked mine. “You’re not my fucking house cleaner sweetheart. This was my idea. My job.” His smile was the size of a planet. I began hyperventilating. I wasn’t going to argue with him. “At least let me help a touch. I need to contribute something.” “You’ve contributed yourself. I enjoyed the day and the evening more than anything I’ve done in years. This has been peace for me.” My cheeks flushed and I wanted to tell Mr. Ezra about his magical smile, how he made me feel, but I feared the wine was talking and my clothes may land on the floor. That didn’t seem like the end of the world. The idea was growing on me. I picked up my plate and an empty box then followed him inside the apartment. “Hale will be home within the next thirty minutes. As much as I like your clothes I think you’d better change into that ridiculous shit he bought for you to wear.” I’d wondered about that earlier. But hearing Ezra say it like he was protecting me made me more alert and wary. Was he afraid Hale would get angry and send me back to Moulton? Or was there more to his suggestion? “Does Hale have a temper?” I asked. He paused and held the garbage in his fist. With a sigh he turned back to me. “Hale is an intense man.

He likes things to be in his favor. You work for the man so you follow his rules. Even if he has other plans, that eventually, do include you. Just be careful and” he extended his hand “give me your phone so I can put my number in it. That way if you need me for anything, and I mean anything at all, you call and I will answer.” I gave him my phone and watched as he saved his number into it. Somehow, I felt safer. And I didn’t think that was wine. “Have I made a mistake coming here?” He didn’t respond at first. After a moment he shook his head. “No. You’ll be fine.” I wanted to ask more questions while the wine was making me brave. But I didn’t, because they’d go unanswered. “Thank you for your time,” I said. Ezra put his plate in the dishwasher. Reached for mine and did the same. When he was finished he closed on my body. I thought he was going to make another comment but his hand slid into my hair and tilted my head to the side. I was so immersed in the look from his eyes that when his lips touched mine I was startled. The soft warmth of his mouth sent a jolt of electricity through everything that was inside me. I grabbed his arms and held on tight. He deepened the kiss as his tongue touched mine and I shivered from the pleasure of it all. The richness of the whisky on his breath fit his mouth like his shirt fit his body. It was exactly how I thought he would taste. Like something dark, but thoroughly exciting. I was leaning into Ezra when he finally pulled back, his blue eyes sinking their depth. “I need to go. Better go now.” His voice was a husky whisper. I started to say something but he turned and left, quietly exiting the apartment. Standing there alone I suddenly felt cold. I touched my lips and the warmth from his lingering kiss remained and I could still taste him. My heart was thumping rapidly in the center of my chest and I wanted to run after Ezra. That was silly and caused by the wine. As pointless as my attraction to the man. Then again, he’d shown me what I always desired, but was yet to experience in this life. I hoped Hale would be like him, but he wasn’t and that wouldn’t change. And now he was out of my reach. Ezra would soon be gone. I didn’t know where or even why he was leaving and his job seemed to be a secret. All he could do was what we’d done today, which was fleeting and had become a memory. The pleasure I’d experienced turned to an ache at the thought of not having it again. I’d been selfish with expectation. When it was gone it was just as quick, as having dreamt about perfection in the first place. For the very first time I understood longing. If that solitary kiss had made me feel alive then what more would happen when he loved me. If he could ever love me at all. Could ever want a girl like me. Sammy Jo Knox from Moulton. And I didn’t even know his last name. There was a sound at the door and my head jerked around to see if Ezra was waiting. To say something more, or anything less, or just to stand and permit my staring. Hale then stepped inside and my hopes became pure anxiety. His gaze took in my clothing and the look of displeasure on his face was rude and obvious. “I didn’t buy you decent clothing for you to wear that stuff around. What if I’d had company? Is this how I’d want you to look?” I was being scolded like a child.

“No,” I replied. “No it wouldn’t.” “I don’t want to come home to find you dressed like this. Never again Samantha.” Again he called me Samantha. A name that wasn’t mine. Just like the clothes I was wearing. “Go change if you intend to stay awake and visit with me this evening.” I turned and headed to my room. Not because I wanted to visit with Hale, but because I knew if I didn’t change soon his anger would linger until he would leave and then return when he came back. Soon I’d be alone and this phase would be finished, at the least for a couple of weeks. I could tolerate as much as Hale could deliver and I imagined that was a lot but a load I was willing to bear.

Chapter Eleven THE LAST THING Hale had said last night was “I’ll be back in fourteen days. We will then be attending a party and I expect you to behave like a lady. Not an inbred girl from the sticks.” And I said nothing in return. As if I deserved the command. I was to spend my time getting online and researching how to properly act. To work on my speech and pay attention to the way I pronounced my every word. It was a humiliating conversation. When the door closed behind him I was relieved he’d only kissed my cheek. I wasn’t in the mood to be touched by the man after being informed a complete overhaul was how I would stay in New York. I knew I didn’t fit into Hale’s glitzy world, but I didn’t take this job and move to the city thinking someone would rubber stamp me and turn me into a talking robot. And what purpose did his control really serve? There was no affection between us. We didn’t have a chance at a future. After a day with Ezra I knew what I wanted. Hale would remain my boss. But we’d never be anything more. Surely he could see that too. If he wasn’t concerned with attraction or connection between the people we ultimately were, maybe it was personal appearance? I didn’t know him at all. For the moment I was glad he was gone. I had too much on my mind and the cleaning of the penthouse wasn’t enough to encourage me. Calling home wouldn’t be a good idea. Momma would recognize the frustration in my voice. She’d know something was wrong and question me until I admitted it. Going home to Moulton in the future kept me twisted in tangled knots. Staying here would only be possible if Hale kept me as an employee. I no longer wished to attend those parties and classy events I’d longed for. Hale was heartless and the way he treated other people was a thing I would never accept. The next two days I spent time in the city doing what I wanted to do. In case my time was cut short and he fired me, for saying “ain’t” or “ya’ll” or “naw.” I visited the Empire State Building, went to Rockefeller Center and the September 11th Memorial. That made me cry and my stomach felt sick. All those senseless deaths. I will never get over that. From there I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art and walked through “the park.” Central Park that is. I tried different food vendors and found that I enjoyed the hot dogs best of all. Doing all of this alone wasn’t as much fun as it had been with Ezra as my guide. I returned to the penthouse at the end of day two intending to order Chinese. Ezra was standing outside my door as if he were expecting me. And yes, he was still perfect. He couldn’t make himself unattractive.

“Had a big day?” he asked smiling. I nodded. “Yes. It was nice.” I held up my bag from the art museum. I’d bought my sisters some souvenirs. “Good. I thought I’d see if you wanted to have dinner. There’s a Thai place you cannot miss. I go at least once a week.” I wasn’t sure if I liked Thai or not, which meant I wanted to try it. I was lonely and spending the evening with Ezra sounded appealing to me. “Sure, I’d like to eat Thai. I thought you’d be gone by now.” I wondered why Ezra was in town if Hale wasn’t in residence. He didn’t appear to be a city kind of guy. “I left when he did. And I’ll leave in the morning. I came back for the Thai, my personal addiction, which keeps me away from others.” The look on his face said something else. Like maybe he was back for me. The idea made my heart race. I tried not to read into it. We had only one day and the kiss. I wasn’t an expert at kissing, but it seemed like it was special. “Okay, do I need to change?” I then walked to the door and pressed the code while waiting on his answer. “You look perfect,” he replied. “I prefer your clothes, but this isn’t bad either, you make anything appear appealing.” I was wearing one of the casual outfits Hale had purchased for me. My limited wardrobe felt out of place and I didn’t like looking unique. Especially while walking alone. Ezra’s comment felt nice. My skin became tingly and warm. I couldn’t keep from smiling at the man. “Thank you. I’ll put this bag in my room and we can go.” “Take your time. I’m in no rush.” I was hungry from all the walking. The hotdog I’d eaten wasn’t enough. I needed more, but I didn’t tell him that. I didn’t want him to think I was ravenous, needed a trough or something. “Where is it we’re going?” I asked when I came back into the room. I hadn’t taken the time to brush my hair or freshen up my face. I figured if I looked in the mirror I’d see a million little things I needed to fix and I was too hungry for that. “It’s called Uncle Boons. Not a big tourist spot, which is always a win for me. Like I said the food is incredible. You can’t get Thai food as good as Uncle Boons anywhere else in the states. I’ve tried and failed and haven’t.” Uncle Boons didn’t sound very Thai, but then how was I to know? I’d never eaten Thai in my life. “Well, let’s go try this place out.” “We’ll need to take a cab from here. Walking would take an hour.” I hadn’t taken a cab in the city. Flagging down a cab sounded fun. “Okay, I’m good with that.” “I don’t do the fancy chauffeured shit like Hale does with his vehicles.” It didn’t sound like an apology. It was a statement without regret. “I want to experience a New York cab,” I honestly replied with excitement. He chuckled at the comment. “God, you’re a breath of fresh air. Didn’t know I needed it until I walked into Hale’s and you opened that mouth of yours.”

My face flushed. I wanted to grin like an idiot because Ezra enjoyed my company as much as I did his. I really believed he’d come back to town just to see me in person. But I was afraid to think that thought. He could hurt me if I beamed it outward. No guy had ever had that kind of power over me. They’d all been from Moulton, Alabama. Sure, I’d been fooled by Hale and his wealth, but once I got to see him as he was, I realized he wasn’t what I thought. He appeared to be more at first. Then I’d gotten here and he’d changed. This should concern me about Ezra. He could change just as quick. What was it he really wanted? And when had I gotten so dang jaded? Apparently I was hardening. “Are you ever going to tell me about you? Where you’re from, why you work with Hale? How about your last name?” I was pushing but I needed some reassurance that he wouldn’t vanish forever. Then I could safely let my heart get silly, if I knew he was coming back. He was quiet for a while and I was preparing myself for Ezra not to respond. Finally he turned and there was a seriousness in his eyes that struck me deep within. Like he was alone and lost and abandoned. “I lived another life in the past. One that is dead to me now. Dead to me, and everyone that I knew. To protect you I can’t answer those questions. Matters can become what you don’t want. And become that way really quick.”

Chapter Twelve THAT WASN’T THE answer I’d expected. A dark and frightening response. Why would he need to protect me? Who was he? Who or what was Hale? I didn’t respond as my mind raced and we left to hail a cab, the elevator closing behind us. Getting in the iconic yellow taxi wasn’t as exciting as it should’ve been. My thoughts weren’t on the experience. They were replaying Ezra’s words again and again in my head. How was his past life dead to him now? I didn’t understand what he meant. I knew asking more questions would be pointless, he wouldn’t respond if I did. His hand slid over mine. I jumped, startled by the contact. “For tonight can you just forget about that? I leave in the morning and I’ve no idea when I’ll get back to the city.” My chest ached when he spoke of leaving. I’d grown accustomed to having Ezra around. Being near him. Wanting to be with him. “Why do you have to go?” I asked, letting my emotions take hold, showing more than I should’ve permitted. He sighed. “It’s my job. I’ve done it for a long, long time.” That I understood. But the actual job scared the hell out of me. Nothing peaceful and safe could come from the answer he’d given in the elevator. I tried to shake loose the foreboding that had settled in my chest like a worry. Like a fret that had no reason. I wanted to enjoy tonight. Ezra’s answer didn’t make me want him less. “I can do that.” He squeezed my hand. “Thank you. It is greatly appreciated.” The cocky guy I’d met just last week hadn’t turned out to be what I thought. I’d judged two men incorrectly. Hale and Ezra both in a row. I was beginning to think I sucked at first impressions and their meanings as it regarded me. That, or my dreams cloud my judgment. Dreams weren’t a safe reality. Not when you wanted them so badly you didn’t think them through. Hale was someone I thought Hale could never be and the worst kind of man imaginable. I’d come to New York to work for a monster, when his ultimate goal wasn’t to hire me, but to groom me like a dog or a pony. Ezra then patiently spoke. “I started working for Hale a year ago. What I do isn’t important. But things aren’t always what they seem and I need you to remember that.” I nodded. I didn’t have to remember that. I’d just had that same revelation. Hale wasn’t what he seemed. Now I had to make a decision to keep this dream or leave it and wait for the real one, though by

leaving I’d lose Ezra. I wasn’t sure I could do that. Unless he left and didn’t return. Maybe this was the last thing we’d do together and then he’d vanish forever. Before I made my decision I needed to find out what it was Hale did for a living. “I guess that means you can’t tell me what it is Hale does with his time? He wasn’t very open and direct about his actual job.” “That’s because his ‘actual job’ is a gigantic goofy farce. His father gave him money and a title in his business. That’s oil in Texas and Alaska, with a whole bunch of South American interests. Hale wanted more so he bought up other companies. Small businesses mostly, hotels and restaurants, and even a few old bars. He generally plays while his hirelings run it beneath his terrible gaze.” That was the most information I’d received from either of them thusfar. “Yesterday he bought the bakery where your mother is employed. And yes, you can read into that. He didn’t do it to improve her working conditions and he’ll use it to lean on you. I’m breaking a rule by telling. You aren’t supposed to know. Hale does nothing if it doesn’t gain him something. He’s not a giving man Sammy Jo.” My jaw dropped. He bought the bakery? “What could he possibly want with the bakery? He’s not going to tear it down? My mother needs that job to live.” Panic suddenly ate the rest of my emotions. The little bit of money I sent home wasn’t going to meet their needs if she lost her job at the bakery. “It won’t change anything except maybe the owner. And like I said, it’s to lean on you.” Frowning, I looked up at Ezra. “He won’t be the owner?” Ezra sighed. “He has no use for a bakery in Moulton, Alabama. But he does have a use for you. Giving your mother a bakery is his way of controlling the variables. Of buying you indirectly.” Oh. I sat there torn between relief and fear. Mother wouldn’t lose her job, but she might own the place because of him. If I made him happy by staying. If I became the ‘Samantha’ he desired. “What have I done?” I whispered. He didn’t have a response. “For now, just continue as you are. Let him decide his next move. I’ll know before you and I’ll find you. We can then prepare your reaction.” This wasn’t how I expected our night to go. But knowing I had Ezra on my side did help ease the fear. He seemed strong enough to help me. Ezra wasn’t scared of Hale’s power. I doubted he was scared of anyone. He had his own secrets I could never know, which should terrify and consume my interest, though they didn’t, not in the least. “Now you know the worst. Let’s forget it and enjoy our night.” That couldn’t be the worst. What I didn’t know had to be worse than that. I knew that and he knew that I knew. The cab stopped and Ezra handed him a twenty. “Keep the change,” he said. He then opened his door to climb out. I took his hand and followed to the curb. We were headed for the restaurant before I realized I hadn’t even looked around, inside the cab or into the city. There was no memory to tuck away. The interior of the car or its details. My mind had been somewhere else. I didn’t want my entire night to not be recalled in the future, because of what Ezra had told me. I wanted to enjoy his company. When would I see him again? “I’ve never had Thai food, like I said.”

“You like spicy food?” he asked. I nodded and then I said “yessir.” “Then you’ll love it. It can be the hottest.” I was sure Ezra was right. In Moulton the most exotic restaurant was an Italian place that served pizza. They had red-checkered table clothes and a limited pasta selection. There were candles on the tables with Italian music playing on the speakers, which set the mood. It was owned by a guy named Willy. Willy Joe who also worked as a welder. His wife Fanny ran the place. The Thai restaurant was like an underground bar with colorful people and intriguing decorations and I forgot about my current predicament. I let myself soak it all in. Filed it away in my memory. It was another dream come true. “I think you’re right. I’m going to like this.” He squeezed my hand. “Love. You’ll love it.”

Chapter Thirteen THAI FOOD WAS different, but delicious. Ezra ordered a la carte and we shared five dishes because I couldn’t make up my mind. The bottle of Pinot Gris that Ezra had ordered was good and worked well with the hotness. And once again I drank too much, though it was due to the spicy food. I was giggling when we stepped from the cab to the street. Ezra had his arm around my waist. My hands and head didn’t feel very steady and I couldn’t walk without weaving. The whole shebang was hilarious to me. “You’re a light weight,” he teasingly said. “No, I’m just not a big drinker.” I then stopped, hiccupped and laughed. “Normally I have moonshine punch at the barn dance once a year.” “Moonshine, huh? That’s impressive.” I leaned into him as we walked off the elevator and approached Hale’s front door. “It’s not as yummy as the wine… moonshine isn’t… actually it’s not yummy at all. It tastes like burnt stream water, if that were even possible.” I laughed and he laughed too. “No, I guess it isn’t yummy. What moonshine I’ve tasted was sour and harsh. But after a glass it got better. After two I forgot where I was.” I started to punch in the code. Ezra did it instead. How did he know the code? He’d never walked in before. Hale must trust him to give him those numbers with a kabillion expensive things waiting inside for the taking. “You need a shower. I’ll make a pot of coffee.” He led me inside without mauling me. I’d heard stories but with him I felt safe. I agreed a shower would feel wonderful. “Okay,” I replied. “Good suggestion.” I started to walk away and then I changed my mind. I wanted a kiss again. The kind he’d given me before. If he was leaving I wanted something to remember. Was I the one mauling him? Tripping to Ezra I grabbed both of his arms and stood on the tips of my toes, pressing my mouth to his own. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and I was glad for the support and embrace, otherwise I would’ve sprawled on the floor. He didn’t stop me, but instead, returned the kiss and let me taste the exotic food and wine still lingering on his tongue and in his mouth. I moaned, at least I thought I moaned, because Ezra didn’t strike me as a moaner. His hands scaled my spine in creeps until his thumbs were inches from my breasts. I wanted to arch

my back so he could cover them both with his hands. Before I invited Ezra to continue he set me back away from his reach. I was cold and wanted his warmth. When I opened my mouth to protest he raised an eyebrow and showed who he was. “You’re drunk Sammy Jo and might regret it. As good as you feel and taste, I won’t take advantage where I shouldn’t. Your offer is sweet and sexy. And yes, I’d love to paw you, but I think I will pass till you’re sober. I should feel good about that. But I didn’t, I felt frustrated. With myself, because I’d drank too much. I wanted Ezra to do whatever he felt and I needed him to do it right now. Sammy Jo Knox was on the verge of begging. That’s how aroused I was. I just referred to myself in third person. I must be losing my mind. “Go get that shower,” he said, nodding his head toward my room. I didn’t want to shower, unless he went with me, but I turned and did as he said. If I stayed in the room where I could see him I would rip off my clothes and plead. In the morning I had a feeling that would be embarrassing, though right now it seemed like heaven. The water helped clear my head, as well as make me sleepy. I considered turning on the cold, but then vetoed that stupid idea. Thoughts of kissing Ezra danced through my head and I spent some extra time cleaning areas I knew he would touch and kiss. I was so well scrubbed that I glowed. I dried off with a wrap around towel. My cotton sleep shorts and white tee shirt felt nice against my skin. I saw no reason to get dressed if he would be leaving soon. My bed looked nice and snug. Ezra would be gone tomorrow, so the bed would have to wait. When I walked into the kitchen he poured a cup of coffee and extended his arm to me. “This will help, though actually it won’t, drinking coffee drunk is a myth. Tap water and aspirin would be best. Coffee just seems more appropriate.” I took it, thanked him and sipped it. The blend was sweet and creamy, the way I liked it… and how the hell had he known how I liked it? “It’s perfect,” I told him. “Am I that easy to read?” He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “I’m just observant, though it’s becoming a rarity. Most people never look around them.” Observant wasn’t the description I had in mind, but I had to let it go and do it quickly. “How was your shower? Feeling sober?” I wanted to inform him of what I’d been doing. Then I didn’t, but almost did. My God, it was like I was tracking him. Like hunting a wounded beast. “Nice. I’m better now.” And still willing to get naked if you wish. He glanced at his phone and grimaced. “Before I leave there’s something I need to do. It’s another sleepless night for me.” I didn’t want him to go, thought we had all night, but apparently that was ending. “Oh,” I replied, wanting to beg, without managing to shame myself. My drunk must be wearing thin. I actually felt sense returning. He took a step toward me, slid a finger under my chin and said “Sammy Jo, don’t look so sad. It makes it hard to go and I have to. Work is calling me in.” I nodded and hoped he would kiss me. Give me something before walking away. “I’ll be back sooner than I planned. I can now admit that. You have my number if you need to call.”

“Okay,” I replied, feeling the excitement that Ezra would be returning. “Jesus,” he muttered, sliding his hand from my chin and into my hair. He then yanked me against his chest. We kissed, this time deeper, and maybe a little darker. Definitely, it was more intense. I did not want this to end. I did not want him to go. His job was important and ultimately I knew that his work had brought us together. I soaked in his smell and the feel of his body. If he changed or I left and this didn’t proceed I was sure this moment would remain special throughout my life. Ezra was extraordinary. A weird mix of contradictions. He was intense and intriguing, yet there was vulnerability in his eyes that didn’t seem to fit. He was like a dog, a breed unto himself, who’d been hurt and couldn’t trust. He shied away when you got close, but you knew he could eat you alive. The words he’d spoken about his past before being dead haunted me and wouldn’t relent. Did he truly mean them or were they meant to explain the severity of something he’d done? He pulled away from me and shook his head. “You make it hard to leave.” I started to say “then don’t.” He anticipated my response, then put a finger directly on my lips. “I have to go.” Again, I watched him leave. I wished I could join him to wherever he was going, but would I want to see what he did, once he reached his destination.

Chapter Fourteen THE WEEK PASSED by really slow. I saw some more sights, called home and talked to momma and my siblings were chatty and full of questions. Even Henry asked when he could see me, and that made me cry for a while. I talked to Jamie about her pregnancy, which was making her really ill, though Ben was being great about it. From her stories about the vomiting I decided that a baby wasn’t for me until later. Much, much, much, much, much later. Momma had never complained carrying Henry. I wouldn’t have known if she was sick. She hid the sickness and never said a thing. Jamie was different, softer, not tough, and I was guessing that was generational. My mother was incredibly durable. But loving just the same. I almost texted Ezra twice then stopped myself before I did. I wasn’t drunk anymore and remembered I was raised not to chase boys or men. If he wanted to talk to me he’d get in touch when he could and had the time. And I was wishing that time was now. I looked at my phone a million times a day to see if he’d texted or called. That was pathetic and I knew it. I did it anyway, because the man had pulled me in and I couldn’t quit thinking about him. By the time day seven rolled around I was mad as hell at him. He’d not called or texted. It was as if last week hadn’t happened. I didn’t like games and this felt like a game and I wasn’t going to play. If he called I wasn’t answering. His window had passed and he’d failed. I hadn’t studied for Hale’s parties like he said I should because what was I supposed to study? He’d been vague and assumed I knew what he meant. I was aware I didn’t know my proper social graces, but how could a website help me? Was I supposed to sit manikins around a big table and pretend to entertain them? I watched people from that world, or what I assumed were from that world, while touring around the city. They had a polished look about them. One you couldn’t miss when you stared. That was my course so far. Hale would return in a week. Would Ezra return when he did? I hoped so and that made me pathetic. I couldn’t drive the man from my head. I was trying to stay focused on other things, but Ezra’s absence was driving me nuts. Jamie had asked me about Hale and myself. I explained that he was my employer and I his employee. It was that and nothing more. But I hadn’t told her about Ezra. It was a secret and I didn’t know why, other than he worked with Hale. Deep down I was protecting Ezra. I knew that was important to the both of us because Hale had become unpredictable. I never knew what the man would do. I tugged my reusable grocery bag up onto my shoulder. I turned the corner and headed for the

penthouse. My thoughts were everywhere and with them worry. I’d lost interest in the world around me. The scenes I’d craved and adored. I then came back to the people in the streets, blocking my thoughts and concerns. There was a mother strolling with her baby. A man on his phone in a suit. An older woman pushed her walker down the street and then there was, what, there was Ezra? With a tall, leggy brunette. They were close and whispering as if they’d something important to discuss between themselves. It was intimate, well, I think so, intimate enough to cause anger. I paused and put them in focus. Sure enough it was Ezra. I hadn’t dreamed him up because I was missing his company. That was Ezra, here in New York. With a woman I didn’t know. If I were brave I would approach. Walk over to the couple and pretend as if seeing them was a nice surprise. Just so he’d know I saw him. He was here and close and the man had ignored me, after doing and saying what he did. But I wasn’t brave or even stealthy. I wanted to sneak past them and get to the penthouse one block down from this street. After that I’d forget I saw him and eventually try to disremember I threw myself on his charm and good looks. Of course he had other women. He was beautiful, dangerous, and intriguing. I was silly to think I was special. Or that our kiss meant something to him. I wondered if she’d been “the work” he rushed off to the other night. He was completely into me and then he wasn’t and… no, she could be his wife! My stomach knotted and I felt sick. Was he married? Oh God, what if he was married? That would make me an adulterer! Momma would be ashamed. Not as much as I was ashamed of myself. I crossed the street and stepped into a bookstore. I could see them, but they couldn’t see me. I’d wait until they moved down the block before I left and returned to the penthouse. Facing him was impossible right now. He might be married or engaged. What if he was engaged? Was that as terrible as being married? Either way I’d become “the other.” The other woman in Ezra’s scheme. Conquering the world single was sounding more and more appealing. Men couldn’t be trusted. They wanted women. Lots of women. One woman would never be enough. Women craved that sole connection. A man who would love them eternally. Right now it appeared that men wanted sex and the better the variety and distance between them the more sex they could have without caring. I knew my daddy was precious. I wish more males would behave like him. He was a decent caring individual. I’d set my goal too high. I watched from the window as I pretended to look at a cookbook about barbecuing, which I’d never actually attempt. The woman was close to Ezra. Looking serious as she spoke and gestured. Like they were discussing something important. Her skirt couldn’t be any shorter. If she bent over you’d see her vagina and for crying out loud she was hot. Although they weren’t embracing or showing affection, their bodies were close and familiar. There was something between them, I was sure about that, but just what it was seemed vague. Finally she said something, squeezed his arm affectionately, before turning and strutting away, her stiletto heels clicking and tiny skirt grabbing, although he didn’t watch her go. That was surprising to me. She was shaking her ass for him to enjoy, but he threw his attention to the street, musing on some other thing. Crap, he was headed toward the penthouse. I wasn’t going to be there waiting like a good little girl

for his pawing. I knew better now. I was hardening. Once he was out of sight I left the bookstore and reversed my trek, went back the way I had come. I knew a good food vendor three blocks away and I could take my food to the park and eat it while staking the penthouse. He’d give up and leave I bet. Why waste his time waiting on me when he had legs waiting on him. I decided I hadn’t missed anything in life by not dating the guys in Moulton. Other than Ben there were no good guys. For all I knew Ben was the same. He could be out dilly-dallying other woman while Jamie threw up in a sink. The idea made me even angrier. If I found out he was I’d go to Moulton to stomp his butt. Stupid, stupid men! A whistle startled me and I turned to see a creeper checking my walk and ogling. He was working on a building in a hardhat. He winked and waggled his tongue. I then channeled my frustration, flipped my middle finger, and with a snarl I stalked off. This life was increasing my harshness. I didn’t care. I needed it to. Being naïve wasn’t healthy. It led to dumb decisions and heartache. I’d already had enough of both.

Chapter Fifteen WHILE OPENING THE door to the penthouse part of me wondered if I’d see Ezra waiting on the other side. I knew he could get in when he wanted. What I didn’t expect was to see Hale there with a glass of amber liquid and a scowl painted on his face. I was dressed in his clothing. The apartment was clean. I was allowed to leave, was I not? Why was he angry with me? “Hello,” I said, hearing the crack in my voice, realizing I was holding my breath. He glared with disapproval. I felt my hands begin to sweat. I raced through all his reasons for annoyance but what it was seemed lost to me. “Have you spoken to your mother today?” That was his question. Had I talked to my momma? No. Not today. I shook my head. “Is she okay?” He then cocked an eyebrow at me. “I’d say so. She now owns the bakery. I bought it and gave it to her. Do you know why I did that Samantha?” To control me Hale. To own me. To create a wall of guilt. Ezra had told me as much. I just hadn’t been sure he was right. Now seeing the look on Hale’s face I wondered if he’d been correct. “No,” I honestly replied. He took a drink and his mouth held its hard line. “It was a gift to you. You said you wished your mother could own a bakery. Now your mother does.” Oh well, that was nice. “Thank you, that’s a generous gift. I don’t know what to say exactly.” Because I didn’t believe he had done it. Buying me a gift like that made no sense at all. Unless there were strings attached. What was the price I would pay? “How about starting by telling me where you’ve been all day. I arrived at noon and you weren’t here. It’s after eight and you’re just coming home. I’ve wasted an entire day waiting on you and I’m not very happy about it.” He wasn’t due for another week. “I was out exploring the city. Then I got food from a vendor and ate it in the park. Why didn’t you call me Hale?” I thought that was a decent question. One that made sense to ask. His scowl then deepened and I suddenly realized I wasn’t supposed to ask questions in his presence. “I shouldn’t have to call my employee and ask her why she isn’t working.” “But I left everything clean.” I immediately defended myself. “Does that mean you’ve completed your other assignment? You’re ready to submerge in my world. I doubt that highly Samantha.”

No, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to “submerge” in his world. I’d rather “submerge” into a sewer system. “I’ve been studying but I’m not prepared.” He sat his glass on the table and it almost shattered. I jumped and my heart began racing. “I bought your mother a bakery Samantha, because you wished it and now it is hers. And in return I get you running around the city taking advantage of me, the life I provide, and does that sound fair to you?” Was he actually becoming a victim? After purchasing a friggin’ bakery? He made it sound like I was using him. That wasn’t how this was at all. “I was watching the people in the city. I can’t learn shut inside this apartment.” The expression on his face was frightening. I was fairly sure he wouldn’t hurt me. Hale was just upset. “I’m sorry. I thought I had another week. I wanted to walk around. It was lonely being in here.” He snarled and my eyes went wide. Hale’s face then contorted into some weird mask forcing me to retreat. I took three steps back and stopped. There was danger in his eyes and voice. This was why Ezra wanted me to call him. His warning was now before me. “Lonely?” he replied, taking a step in my direction while cracking his knuckles and scowling. “You, Sammy Jo Knox, were lonely in the big ol’ city? The girl who wanted nothing more than to escape her hick town full of what she referred to as ‘permanents’? She then manages a penthouse in greedy Manhattan and complains about being lonely. Can you not afford to be happy? Are you already that spoiled and demanding, that you require constant attention?” “That’s not what I meant Hale.” My voice sounded like that of a child. I was scared and it was obvious. He was wrong on every point. “It’s how you’re acting Samantha. You aren’t grateful for one damn thing. Do you know the girls who would promise their souls to be in your shoes at this moment? What they’d give up to live here? To be on my arm at those parties? Do you? No, of course not. You’re goofy and simple minded. All you know is the country ass life you’ve lived and I tell you, the world isn’t basic. Not one fucking bit my dear.” This wasn’t getting any better. I was making it worse with every word that I said, so I did what I knew was safe. “I’m sorry Hale. Please forgive me.” It was an apology I didn’t mean, but I said it anyway. He let loose a laugh and remarked. “You’re sorry?” he said, shutting the distance, as the fury flashed in his eyes. Why was Hale so angry? He had no reason to be. The man was a psychopath. “I don’t care if you’re fucking sorry. I care that you get your stupid ass educated and learn proper behavior. I own you Samantha Knox. You have the innocent beauty that will ideally fit on my arm in the public sphere. I knew that the moment I saw you. That’s why you are here. To be exactly what I need you to be. You do as I say and you don’t make decisions for yourself ever again. Do I make myself clear? Is it crystal?” I was stunned. I just stood there. His words had left me empty. This wasn’t what I’d come for. I never agreed to being a piece of property. “I didn’t ask you to buy my mother the bakery… ” I managed to get that out before his hand struck my face. I flew against the door I’d come through, the distance the length of my body and my jaw was on fire with pain. “Ungrateful bitch!” he roared. His voice was deranged and cultured Hale was gone from the city and

the planet. My vision was blurry and my nose was bleeding as I tried to hold myself up. I needed to get my footing to defend against his coming onslaught. If I was down he might kill me. My head was screaming RUN when he grabbed my arm and twisted it unnaturally behind me. I cried in pain, the muscle was tearing, and I was sure he would snap a bone. “Shut up! I didn’t say you could fucking speak! I’m tired of hearing your voice!” And with that he slammed me against the door twice, causing my head to bounce. I blinked, but the world was still blurry. I wanted to cry and beg him to stop, but was afraid of what he’d do if I spoke and made any noise. “You wanted this life. I MADE it happen. I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars making your life what you dreamed. You expect me to want nothing in return? Are you that stupid, you bitch? I didn’t do it for fucking free. You’ll conform to what I want or you’ll pay me back every dime.” Pay him back? Why would he expect that? My head was splitting open from the pain and my arm was still twisted behind me. It was hard to breathe with the panic. I would say whatever I needed to say in order to get him away. Then I would run straight home. I could afford the bus. I wasn’t staying here. This was enough for me. “I don’t waste time Samantha. I get what I want when I want it. Do you understand that? Is it clear? You will do what I fucking say.” I couldn’t answer. My ability to speak was stolen by the horror of his terror. He jerked my arm and threw me again off the door and I landed on the floor with a whump. “Talk now woman! Speak! You have my motherfucking permission!” I opened my mouth while praying in my head that I could say anything to stop him. One syllable to make him quit. As my words were forming the door swung inward and there was something else in the room. Another presence I couldn’t make out.

Chapter Sixteen “BACK AWAY FROM her Hale. Do it now.” Ezra’s voice was a welcomed sound. The tears that had pooled in my eyes ran freely down my cheeks. He was here. I wasn’t going to die. “Go check on her,” he said to another and there was someone else beside me. With the blow to my head my vision was bad and I couldn’t see who it was. She was then on her knees beside me gently touching my face. It was the woman from the street earlier in the day. The female I’d seen with Ezra. I didn’t want her hands on my body, but I had no strength to resist her. “She needs a doctor,” the woman told him, with concern in her voice and manner. “What the fuck are you doing Hale? You assault women now as a hobby?” The anger was clear in his voice. Hale was only mildly concerned. “Ezra, you work for me. Don’t question my decisions or actions and never barge into my house.” Hale replied without emotion in his voice. As if talking about the weather. “I work for your father, not you. That’s who I fucking work for. And he wouldn’t be okay with you beating a woman you entitled little prick.” Ezra’s tone had gone from angry to a barely controllable fury. “No sir, you work for me.” After he replied his body turned towards me. He motioned with his hand for the woman to move and spoke as if I were nothing. “Move back. She doesn’t need a doctor. You’re creating drama that doesn’t need to be. You will both do what I say.” Ezra was holding words in his mouth that had never been spoken before. He knew something Hale did not know and would not unless Ezra informed him. And so Ezra said it like this: “you could possibly be the target of a hit. Your father hired me to protect you. As for her, she’s leaving with us and I’m getting her medical attention.” Either my brain was a mess from the beating or I was hearing that Ezra was security. A bodyguard hired for Hale. Why would Hale need protecting? He seemed capable enough. “What hit?” Hale asked, his tone then changing to something else entirely. He wasn’t unconcerned anymore. “Ah, now that it centers on your precious existence your attitude suddenly shifts. Business gone bad my man. I think you probably know more about it than you want to admit,” said Ezra. “Now I’m taking Sammy Jo to a doctor. You call your father and figure this out.” Hale stepped between Ezra and I. “She’s not leaving. She’s fine. Nothing is permanent. She’s roughed up but will survive. You both can leave and pack your bags because once I talk to my father you’ll each be out of a job.”

Ezra laughed then yanked it back. It was a deep twisted laugh like the man was amused because Hale had to tell his father to have any power at all. “Can you take a deep breath?” she asked me. The woman was talking quietly to me and the concern in her voice was motherly. As much as I didn’t want my focus off the others I glanced at her instead. She was even more beautiful up close. And she was truly worried about me. It was hard to hate someone who was trying to help you and meant it. I nodded and winced. “Just sore. My chest and neck hurt a little.” She frowned and looked at Ezra. “We need to take her now.” “We will,” Ezra replied. “Hale, I’ll put it like this. Move or you’re going through the sheetrock. I will put you through that wall.” I expected Hale to refuse. He then cleared and backed away. “Do what you want. You’re all three fired and that goes for your mother Samantha. I’m closing the bakery and selling the building. Then your family can starve to death and it will be your fault.” Ezra didn’t say anything. He stalked past Hale, bent down in front of me and asked “Sammy Jo, what hurts? Don’t leave any place out.” “Mostly my face, head and arm,” I replied in a childish whisper. “I’m sorry, no, it’s my body. He kept… ” “You don’t have to say another word.” Ezra slid his arms under my knees and back and lifted me as if I were weightless. “You’re both going to regret this,” Hale said. We then left the penthouse with the woman following, spinning to see what he’d do. She slammed the door with force and then stood there, listening for movement behind it. “God, I wish we could be fired. I hate that spoiled little bitch. We should leave ‘em a gap to knock his ass off and then act like we didn’t know.” Apparently she was something else. And she sounded mean as hell. “His father will deal with him.” Ezra replied businesslike. “Go ahead and call him please. Give him a run down of what’s happened to date. He’ll have heard all of this and he will need an update. Then stay close to the place and watch who comes and goes. I’ll update you on Sammy Jo as soon as we get where we’re going. Use your second phone and not the first whenever you speak with his father. Then switch back to the first. You know what to do.” “Got it,” she responded to the order. She was happy to receive it and did so. I stared up at Ezra then back at her. The woman was glaring at the floor numbers as they flashed in the descending elevator. “I swear I hate that bastard,” she muttered. Ezra nodded in agreement. Then he looked down at me. “How’re you feeling? A little less stress?” “Like she got her ass beat,” the woman replied. “Don’t make her talk if she doesn’t have to.” Ezra ignored her and watched me closely. I told him “sore and more than confused.” His frown then deepened and “we should’ve come sooner. I didn’t realize he was hurting you. The last time you cried out I knew he had.” “What are you?” I asked still wondering. Was I unconscious in the apartment and dreaming all of this. Were Ezra and the woman not real? Not my current reality?

“I’m what I told Hale I was. And yes, this is actually happening. I’m protecting him for his father. There’s been a business deal go bad in South America concerning one of his interests. He believes they’ll go after Hale, being as that’s his only son. Hale knew nothing about it. His father didn’t want to concern him. He believed I was working for him. Now for the introduction.” “I’m Gia. I work for Ezra.” The woman said it and smiled and flashed her eyes and it even made my wounded heart leap. He had a hot female employee? Great. That’s just perfect. All girls want to know the guy they like has a porn star working in their care. “Oh,” was all I could say. I should tell her thanks for helping me but my jealousy was plainly ridiculous. I’d be going back to Moulton. I’d never see Ezra or this Gia again and I would have to find a job to help momma. My dream was gone. It was finished. It went from dreamy to weird to a nightmare and I had to get free of its grip. The elevator opened and Ezra left Gia inside while he carried me out. There was a black car waiting for us. The driver opened the door and Ezra climbed inside with me folded in his arms like a chair. This wasn’t Hale’s car or driver. I thought Ezra didn’t do black cars. “Whose car is this?” “It’s Christopher’s. Hale’s father first name is Christopher. I had to tell him I was taking you from Hale. He immediately sent the car. He heard everything that was said in the apartment. I was wired as he requested.” This all had to be a dream. I had to be unconscious in Hale’s apartment sound asleep while rolling through this. That made sense to me. I just hoped I didn’t die.

Chapter Seventeen THOUGH THIS WASN’T a dream and I wasn’t catatonic, because the IV the nurse was trying to administer wasn’t agreeing with my vanishing veins. The digging of the needle couldn’t be non-reality and neither was my splitting headache. Yes, this was all happening. And it got even more confusing. Ezra, who was standing beside me, was security for the rich and the spoiled? Was that why he was so secretive? And why was his helper a female? Wouldn’t a man do a better job? Apparently I knew very little. And that was getting smaller and smaller. “Sorry. We got it this time.” The nurse smiled apologetically for having to stick me three times to get a good vein. “We’ll start the fluids first then deal with the pain. What he prescribed is on its way. When she brings it I’ll give you a dose.” “Thank you,” I replied. “I appreciate it.” She said “you’re welcome,” then looked at Ezra, with suspicion and what you’d call angst. She didn’t appear to trust him. They’d asked me what had happened and I told them that my boyfriend beat me up. Ezra had coached me on this and the details of what would happen. If I said my employer then lawyers and policemen would immediately get involved. I’d have to deal with them. I didn’t want all that scrutiny. Inciting any more anger from Hale wasn’t appealing to me. “Are you okay if I step out a moment?” the nurse asked rather straightforwardly. She didn’t completely believe my story. “Ezra’s who saved me. Not who hurt me,” I repeated again and again. She nodded and replied “okay.” She left the room staring at Ezra. “She doesn’t believe me,” I said. I then turned my head and frowned. I was on the verge of tears. “They get a lot of domestic abuse. I’m sure this hallway has other cases. She’s just being careful. I’m not insulted Sammy Jo. She should be suspiciously pissed. Boys shouldn’t hit girls.” I closed my eyes and said nothing further. That helped somewhat with the pain. My skull felt like a vice was clamped on it and the handle was being spun. “I should’ve come in sooner. I knew it would eventually happen.” His hand touched my forehead and brushed my hair back. He was a gentle but ferocious man. “You came in when it was needed. You had no way to know. Ezra, you can’t see through walls. I’m going to be okay.” I was too tired to keep reassuring him. But I did have a question or two: “is Gia your girlfriend? Are you getting married? Or is she already your wife in secret?” There, I covered it all. Time for the truth I guess. Ezra chuckled. “No and no and no. She has her own girlfriend. The same one for the past five years.

She has zero interest in me. Or any other man as that goes.” Girlfriend? Oh, she’s a lesbian. That’s not at all what I was expecting. “Gia was a Marine. Gia’s mental and physical evaluations scored the same or better than the males. Not the bottom rung, but the top. She’s not really a human.” He laughed and then he held it. “I don’t completely understand her myself. She gets the job done and is more efficient than most men in this particular business. They wouldn’t hire her because she’s a woman. I hired her before ten other men and none of them have taken a bullet. Gia’s taken three. One still sits near her spine.” I hadn’t been that nice to her. She could twist my head from my shoulders. I felt guilty now. She’d shown she cared and I was harsh. My jealousy kept me from being grateful. “I need to apologize. Will I ever see her again?” “Why do you need to apologize?” Although my eyes were closed, I could tell he was smiling. “Because I was jealous and possessive of you. I saw the two of you earlier on the street and I thought, well, you know.” This time Ezra roared. “Gia doesn’t need or expect an apology. She would’ve killed Hale a thousand times over if she wouldn’t have been in my employment.” That didn’t matter. She deserved one. “I should’ve been nicer to her.” The sound of the door interrupted us. “Pain medicine is here,” the nurse sang. She sounded chipper and fairly upbeat. “It’ll be cold,” she said. She then picked up my hand and administered the dosage directly through my IV. The sensation in my veins only lasted a minute and then the air became greasy and I drifted off into space. “Nighty night,” Ezra said. When I came to there were voices in the room. Two men, gruff and masculine. I kept my eyes closed and listened. “You need to get her home. She’s not safe with him. You knew that from the beginning. I thought you’d learned your lesson. You can’t get attached to a woman while working a job.” Ezra released a hard laugh. “As if you can talk. You’re married to Nan.” Who was Nan? What the hell? Was I dead? No, that was Ezra. “I left the business. You, however died, so you could live this life. It was what you wanted my friend. Dead men can’t have relationships. They can’t care for another like this.” Dead? He wasn’t dead. Was I still asleep? “I know what I can and can’t do. Cope, Jesus, back off. I shouldn’t have called you to help.” “But you did. Now deal with my opinion. It is now in the fucking room.” Ezra sighed. “Just get her home safe. Let me know when she’s there if you will. I don’t trust anyone else. Not with her I don’t. Hale’s father was right from the start. He’s a fucked up piece of shit. There are things going on that Hale doesn’t know and the water is over his head. It’s about to get bad, then worse. She needs to stay away from him.” “I’ll get her there safe. I promise. But I don’t do this shit anymore. I’ve got to get home to Nan and

Axel, they’re waiting and expecting me. Because she doesn’t know that you aren’t dead I couldn’t tell her the truth about this. I’m not getting sucked back in.” “Understood. I owe you one.” Ezra replied sounding humble. “No Major, you owe me a fucking ton, this just adds to your tally.” Major? Who was Major? “Whatever. Just get her home. I’ve got to go to Tennessee and deal with this. Christopher is waiting on me.” “Go ahead. This is taken care of.” I wanted to open my eyes and beg him not to leave. But I didn’t for several reasons. Ezra was supposed to be dead. There was a strange man calling him Major and this Major had to go to Tennessee. I’d been a part of his work, this Ezra-Major, though Ezra didn’t exist. What had I gotten myself into? Moulton had been a prison. Now it was where I wanted to be. Life was simple there. People were real. This life wasn’t for me. The price was too high and I wouldn’t pay it, so I kept my eyes closed and waited until Ezra was gone and the stranger followed. Once I knew I was alone I stared at the wall in the room and there was comfort. Peace in returning to Moulton. Soon I’d be home to rebuild a life I’d completely turned upside down, by leaving the town in the first place. The security of the bakery was no longer. But I would be there to help. We would be okay, every one of us. As a family we would survive.

Chapter Eighteen I NEVER SAW the man. The one whose voice I heard in the room. Instead, Gia came to stay. When they released me the following day I had a brace on my arm. Ligaments were torn but the vomiting had stopped and my concussion was on the mend. Gia took me to the airport. She had all my things from the penthouse. I assumed Hale gave them over. He wouldn’t say no to her. That might get you thrown from the balcony. She begged me to eat while we waited on my plane. However, when it was time to leave, she didn’t go, although she had a ticket. “I’m headed to Tennessee,” she said with a smile and a pat. “You’ll be fine Sammy Jo. You may think you’re alone but you’re not.” Then she walked away. I glanced around at the people boarding and wondered if he was here. The man who was escorting me. Observing my return to Moulton. Why couldn’t I know who he was? Had he been following us all this time? The safety and security of a simple life in Moulton had never sounded more appealing. This world I was in right now was far bigger and scarier than I’d imagined. It wasn’t the answer to my hopes and dreams. Wasn’t all lights and excitement. It was dark and twisted, with an abundance of shadows and my soul wouldn’t be sold, not to become something else. Stepping into line I bumped into a man and turned to tell him I was sorry. I had to tilt my head back to see him. He was tall with a beard and a man bun. His eyes were beautiful and I had a feeling without that beard he was gorgeous. The wall of muscle on his frame made me nervous. Before Hale men hadn’t frightened me. Now every size and shape caused a panic. Especially larger males. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “My fault,” was his short reply. He didn’t smile or make eye contact. He glanced down at his phone then back at the line and his breathing was deep and steady. His chest rose and fell like the sea. I turned and focused on the line as it slowly moved forward. The purse my mother had made me was locked on my shoulder and the clothes I wore were mine. Moulton was at the end of the day. The life Hale had afforded was behind me. I had a few fond memories, though they weren’t with Hale, they were exclusively with Ezra in the city. He’d found a way into my heart and I couldn’t believe I would never see Ezra again. He was the guy I’d dreamed as a child. Yet I knew nothing about him. Because of his job Ezra was a lie. I didn’t know his true identity. That saddened me to an extreme. When he’d explained to me that his former life was dead, it was and Ezra was serious. He wasn’t exaggerating. His “before” was a different person. Never again would we laugh over dinner, or drink too much at a

restaurant. Ending the night with a toe-curling kiss was now an unrepeatable memory. I’d been given a taste of what a real man was and then it was snatched from my grasp. Nothing I could do would get it back. I’d never been in his future plans. He was working when he spent time with me. It was a ruse, a fake and a con. My seat on the plane was in first class. The big man sat beside me. Striking eyes and bun still there. He didn’t speak or glance my way. Instead he ordered a whiskey from the flight attendant and I ordered a soda after that. I didn’t try and talk because he gave off the vibe he wasn’t into conversation. The rest of the flight was the same. The man beside me finished his drink and closed his eyes to rest. I turned my attention to the window. As we rose in the sky the clouds covered then cleared. This was my second time on a plane and it would be my last. I wasn’t chasing this dream again. I didn’t need another adventure. I wanted family, security and home. Maybe love would arrive one day. If I could learn to trust what brought it. I no longer had a phone to call home. Momma didn’t know I was coming. I wondered if Hale got in touch with her. What would he tell her if he did? Calling her from the hospital had been out of the question. It would’ve scared her and I’d done enough. I’d changed her life by coming to New York and now her life was altered again and my family was upside down. All because of me. My momma was the best in the state of Alabama. Nobody could cook like her. She loved people enjoying her products. I’d taken that away from her. There wasn’t another bakery in Moulton. She wouldn’t be able to find another job where she ran it and made it prosper, because the customers wanted her treats. I had to make it up to her. I would work three jobs if needed. She could stay home with Henry and I would take care of things. I’d save and work and buy her a bakery. It’d take years but I would do it. I owed her that because of my selfishness. The pilot spoke and said we’d be landing soon. The flight had seemed fast, but of course I knew my thoughts had been elsewhere. I had to prepare to face my family. The pressure was mine to deal with. I would be landing in Huntsville and I wondered how I was supposed to get to Moulton. I had some money but a bus didn’t go there. If Gia hadn’t planned a car or a ride I was going to call someone. Jamie and Ben would be best. I could pay for their gas and time. I had enough money for that. I didn’t want to bother momma. She was currently losing her job. That was my fault, not hers. After the plane landed I retrieved my purse from under the seat in front of me. The man beside me slid my carry on from the compartment and calmly handed it down. “Thank you,” I said and he nodded, remaining silent, saying nothing. Something about him was peaceful. When you first looked at him he was large and intimidating, but there was a way about his demeanor. It eased you being next to him. There wasn’t any anger or hostility. Under the surface he did not seethe. That’s the best way to explain it. When allowed to exit the plane he stepped back and let me go first. I went ahead and although I wanted to thank him I knew he didn’t expect it. I headed for the gate to find a bank of phones, if those even existed in this airport. Cell was king, even I knew that. “Good luck,” the deep voice said. It came from behind me and I surprisingly turned because it was

him speaking to me. He then vanished into the crowd as if he’d never been. While redirecting my attention to the busy airport my gaze stopped on my mother. She was amongst a bunch of people but seeing her face made my eyes fill with tears. Her expression was full of relief and love and that tenderness she’d always given. I then saw forgiveness, which made me grow calm. “Mother, there was my mother.” I was home and safe with her. I should’ve never left Moulton to begin with. Not one tear had threatened to fall since the world I’d chosen began to crumble and then it crumbled around me. The little girl that I was, and that every woman is, fell to pieces in her presence. She’d bend down to pick them up. That’s what a mother did.

Chapter Nineteen “NO NEED TO cry. It’s time to toughen up. It went to pieces and we’ll adjust. The world ain’t ended. Still spinnin’. We got our health and we got each other.” Those were momma’s words and as they sank in I threw myself into her arms. She was strong but I started to cry. That was always comforting knowing momma wasn’t scared when we, her children, were. She wasn’t afraid of anything. If there was anyone in this world I wanted to be like it was her, my mother and my friend. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed, tried to pull myself together, while she patted my back and kissed my temple. “I know. But you live and learn and I had to let you do this. It’s the way we grow up and mature.” I sniffled and squeezed her tightly. She’d expected me to return in a similar condition, because she knew fairytales were limited. You only got so far and then they changed. “Now tell me, how bad are you hurt?” She pulled back to have a look at me. She knew I was injured and she knew to be here. I wondered if Ezra or Major, or whoever he was had called. “Who told you I was coming?” Momma shrugged, “I honestly don’t know. Some woman. Said you’d been beaten. She told me Hale did the damage and that she and her partner rescued you from his penthouse. She gave me your arrival information. That was it. Nothing more.” Gia. I hoped I saw her again. I owed her an apology and a thank you. But I knew she was gone forever. That part of my life was over. Ezra, Gia and New York were finished. My chest ached from the thought as I fought back tears. I needed a life in a place that was safe. If common and boring, okay, at least I would have my family. “Let’s go home,” I said. Momma then squeezed my arm. The good one, not the other. “The horde can’t wait to see you. They’ve missed you to the point of insanity.” As she told me we began walking towards the exit. My mind was churning with energy. “I’ll start job hunting tomorrow. I’ll get three jobs if I have to.” She frowned. “Why would you do that? You can work at the bakery with the others. Lordy Sammy Jo, there’s space.” The bakery? The others? Momma didn’t know. My stomach felt sick and flipped. She wasn’t aware that the bakery was about to be closed and sold. How was I supposed to tell her? She hadn’t had time to prepare for this and think about what to do. I was a terrible daughter. I’d ruined her. “Momma,” I replied with sadness. I wished I could do it again. Go back a month and make it right. “The bakery is being closed and the building will be sold. Hale told me that before I left.”

Momma didn’t pause or stop walking. I was unsure my mother had heard me. “Hale junior believed that would happen. But I received word this morning that Christopher Hale Jude number two, Hale’s father and a really nice fella, has bought the bakery and it will remain open. I am in charge and will continue to be. Your sisters are working there now. Mr. Jude’s new capital he put into the business made room for employees. You should see Henry’s little area. He can play and entertain himself.” This was Ezra’s doing. I kept quiet. Momma wasn’t ready to hear about Ezra. He’d made an impact and then he was gone. Letting him go was going to be painful and I hoped over time it got easier. Right now it didn’t seem like it would. I knew he had secrets, unimaginable darkness, that I could never want to understand. I would always miss him and wonder what if. What if it would’ve been us? That, by itself, is a beautiful thing. A sad, though a beautiful thing. “I didn’t need to own a bakery. When I got the news from Hale that he’d bought it, I was upset and really angered. I didn’t want a gift like that. That there is an unpardonable burden. I knew it was to control you and that made me sick. Not owning that place is a relief. I love to bake, and if I could buy it, that would be a different story. But I don’t want a man buying me shit. I can do it myself.” “I’m sorry, so sorry I went. I beg your forgiveness for this.” I knew that my choices still affected everyone and that they were worried and sick about me. “Sammy Jo, we all make mistakes. It’s part of growing up and learning. What matters is that we remember those mistakes and don’t make the same ones twice. It’ll toughen you up and God knows you need that. Sometimes a head in the clouds gets rained on.” The first real smile I’d felt in days touched my lips and spread to my face. Momma always knew the right thing to say to keep me from falling apart. She was blunt but encouraging and it came in a package that was wrapped with a ribbon of love. “That pretty face of yours is a little banged up but it’ll heal and life will go on. Other men will come and go. Then one day the right one will collide and everything will change in an instant. You’ll know it’s real and there won’t be a fairytale attached to what he offers. He will make you smile, feel secure and safe, the best friend you’ve ever had. That’s when you know it’s right. It’s what I had with your daddy. No man will ever take his place. He’s gone, but the time I spent with the man are the very best years of my life. Know that you will also find that. Waiting on him is the most important part. Soul mates ain’t ordered and registered.” The entire time she was talking I saw Ezra’s picture in my mind. I’d felt all those things with him, yet he wasn’t the right one because he was impossible to know or get close to. He lived a life devoid of real human contact. The only reason I felt safe with him was that making you safe was his job. He guarded the rich and famous. I hoped the man momma was talking about would find me in Moulton, Alabama. However, I doubted that. We walked to her car and put my luggage inside then headed home off the main roads. Back to the bedroom I shared with my sisters. Back to my friends who were expecting a baby and living the married life. Back to the bakery, where I would sell sweets, to the people in town who knew me. Back to everything I thought I hated. And I couldn’t wait to get there. The only memories I had of New York City that I could replay in my head at night were those I spent

with Ezra. He was gone but in my heart I could visit him. One day I wouldn’t think about him and I could move on from those thoughts. “What if you think you’ve fallen in love, but it’s an impossible situation?” I was unable to bite my tongue. I had to ask her and so I did. “If it’s real Sammy Jo, it’s possible.” Explaining to her what I meant was completely out of the question. She couldn’t know about Ezra. Now I was protecting him and I didn’t even know why. Didn’t know what from or if my secrecy did him any good at all. “But what if it isn’t?” I asked, unable to let it go. “If it’s real then life will open the right path. You just have to wait. Time will tell.” I could wait but I knew waiting was in vain. I closed my eyes and laid my head back. My memories would have to be sufficient. Until those memories would fade.

Chapter Twenty HAZEL WAS WAITING in the yard before the car could even stop. As she ran in circles her long curly hair flew up into the air like antlers, the smile on her face whitely beaming. I felt my eyes fill with tears and realized how much I’d missed them. More so than I had imagined. Hazel’s excitement made life whole. For a moment I was complete. “She’s missed you the most, that one there. I’d say she’s gone insane with the gigglies.” Momma said it to be touching and it was. “I missed her crazy myself,” I replied. As soon as we stopped I opened the door and Hazel pinned me to the seat, her arms clutched tightly around my neck. She held on as I gently forced her back. “Sammy Jo,” she squealed, like a young girl squeals. “I’m so glad you’re home forever!” So was I. Right now forever was fine with me, and the bakery seemed like heaven. “I also missed you precious.” I told her with a smile on my face that eased some of my pain. I carefully positioned my arm so her excitement couldn’t injure me further. She pulled back and a frown touched her lips. “Your face is hurt Sammy Jo.” “I told you she was slapped around. But she’s fine. Be gentle with her. Especially her arm,” said momma. Hazel loosened her grip. “I forgot. Are you okay?” “I’m fine. Much better now.” I then hugged her to me with my good arm. “Ohmygod you’re back! And you’ve been hit! Did you shoot him? Is he dead?” Bessy, still loud and dramatic, remained loud and dramatic. “Shoot him?” I asked while smiling. “Of course. No man hits a woman from the state of Alabama and lives without a bullet in his brain.” This time I laughed and it felt really good. “No, I decided against murder.” Bessy frowned. “I’d’ve shot his ass.” “Bessy Marie! That mouth!” momma scolded, though I was glad to hear it. “Give me a hug,” I told her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. Bessy sank into me and I could tell that the feeling was mutual between we sisters. There was relief in her sigh and the way that she cuddled and such comfort cannot be explained. “Sammy Jo!” That was Henry’s little voice. “He woke up,” Bessy said, stepping back. “Henry,” I called and bent down to hug him as he ran waving his hands.

“Don’t let him hurt your arm. Henry, please slow down.” Momma was worried he’d slam into me and cause additional damage with his love. “He’s fine,” I assured her, as he made his way to me, pausing when he noticed the brace on my arm and the bruising scattered on my face. “You have boo boo’s,” he said. “Lots of ‘em.” His smile became a tiny frown. “Yes, but I’m okay.” He reached and touched my face. His fingertips were gentle like a breeze. Tears stung my eyes, because he looked even taller, since I’d seen him before I left. I’d missed a month of his life and that made my heart ache when I thought about how he saw it. A month to Henry was the same as a year. What had he learned in my absence? Would he remember when he learned it I was gone? “I missed you,” I told him. “I missed you,” he replied and then kissed my swollen cheek. “Let’s get Sammy Jo inside. For thirty minutes you can ask her your questions. Then she’s taking a nap. She needs some rest after all that travel.” We turned our heads in momma’s direction and again I felt the joy of being home. I couldn’t remember why I’d wanted to escape. Having my siblings around me, and my momma’s strength, struck me as a priceless piece of wisdom. “Did you bring us something?” Bessy asked. I remembered the bag of gifts. I doubted those things had been put in my luggage. Did they even know where I placed them? They needed something from the world out there. I started to explain that I hadn’t been able to bring everything back with me. Momma then said “in the seat. There’s a box right there for the taking. That there box is what she brought home to you. Your sister mailed it before she left. You go ahead Bessy and carry it on in since that’s the first thing you were concerned with.” I hadn’t mailed anything home. I wasn’t sure what was in that box or why momma thought it would be gifts. I didn’t say anything in front of the kids. I hurried and sidled up to momma. “I didn’t mail anything,” I said, as quietly as I could speak. “That woman said to look for it today and that was what it was. I picked it up at the post office on my way to get you. It was there just like she said.” Gia. Again. Gia. I really needed to thank that lady, although it was Ezra that knew about the items. He told her to get them and send them. I wanted to personally thank him, see his face and hear his voice. As we walked into the house Bessy put the box on the table and began opening it up. The kitchen table shook with her aggression. She was as excited about the contents as the younger two. I hoped everything was still inside. It wasn’t much and the box was larger than needed. I figured Gia found the bag and stuffed everything in it so she didn’t appear to be prying. Bessy opened the flaps as Henry climbed in a chair so he could see inside. Hazel quietly watched as she lifted the bag and to my surprise the bag was stuffed. “There’s so much!” Bessy said with elation in her voice as she began to plunder the contents. She pulled out shirts and purses, hats and flashlights, with a map of the city laminated. There was a small toy replica of Grand Central Station and the Statue of Liberty in green. The jewelry, stuffed animals and bags

of candy were from the M&M store in Times Square. I hadn’t bought any of that. My budget would’ve exploded. They squealed with delight as the three figured out what gift went to whom and why. I stood there watching unable to speak, smiling when they showed me with pleasure something that made them happy. Saying “you’re welcome” to all their “thanks” seemed wrong for me to reply to. I hadn’t done any of this. But I knew who did and I was humbled. “What a fine thing to do,” momma said. My chest ached with the love before me. I was home. I was with my family. But I missed him. Ezra was vapor. Though here he was again in these gifts. He may be unreachable but my memories wouldn’t permit me to forget him any time soon. I doubted they ever would. I had fallen in love with a man I couldn’t have. Ezra was not to be “had.” The man was smoke and that cloud had dissipated. “You look surprised,” momma said in a very low voice as she came to stand beside me. “I only bought a fourth of that. I couldn’t afford another dime.” Momma nodded. “The woman said Ezra was sending extra. Some things you mentioned the kids would like. Is Ezra the one who’s got you in knots?” Hearing someone say his name made it real. I needed that right now. To know he was real and that Ezra was actual, not the vapor or the smoke that he seemed. “Yes,” I replied. “He’s the one.”

Chapter Twenty-One MOMMA WOULDN’T LET me go to work the next week. She said “rest and let your face heal. Then you can work with the public. They’ll be nosey as is and we don’t want to help that. They’re already asking questions.” Moulton was still small and Moulton remained Moulton. Sleeping late and being alone in the house was something I’d never done. I’ve risen with the sun since I was old enough to walk and carry a basket. Momma had chores for all of us. This was odd. Being here alone. Five days after my arrival I stood fixed before the coffee pot. The music of its brewing was enticing. Nine in the morning and the whole place was desolate and I thought to myself this is sad. I’m not a fan of this empty house. I wanted to go be with my family. See my friends without explanations. Jamie didn’t know I was back yet. I hadn’t told her because rehashing the story was a thing that really upset me. I couldn’t have it both ways with bruises on my face so I quietly stayed in the house. She would eventually know the truth. Good or bad, Jamie got it all. But right now I wasn’t ready to share that. My memories of Ezra were getting me through the day. I missed him more with each passing moment. I thought it was supposed to get easier, but my longing was getting worse. The coffee finished brewing and I took a rare moment to appreciate the coffee maker. I’d missed having a regular no frills cup first thing in the morning when I woke up. The way the kitchen smelled from the coffee brewing and the memories that held made everything steady in my world. I walked outside with my coffee into the warm summer morning. I’d never taken time to enjoy this place because I took it all for granted. I wouldn’t do that again. Now I knew that every dream one might pursue didn’t have the result they wished. Some were meant to be left alone, their silver linings really dark clouds. “You look better.” The male voice came from behind me and I jumped spilling my coffee. A small startled squeal shot from my throat, but it died instantaneously. I knew that voice. Knew that tone. Spinning around, spilling even more coffee, I soaked in the sight of Ezra. He was here, in my backyard. Looking as beautiful and dangerous as ever, just like I remembered. The same as he was in last night’s dream, but the dream was now reality. “You’re here,” I blurted out, still in shock. I knew I was awake. The stinging on my hand from the burn of the liquid was my assurance this was happening. He nodded and took several steps towards me. “I’ve been around.” “What? You’ve been around?”

He grinned and I melted just a smidge. “Yeah. Around. To make sure you were okay. Settled in.” Where exactly was “around” I thought? “What about your work for Hale?” He shrugged and continued to look at me with that warmth in his stare that completed me and made my body feel whole again. Excited, he replied “that’s handled. It will and can find its own end.” He was being evasive again. Weren’t we beyond all of that? I would’ve thought the barriers and every single wall were now down. I took a step towards him and asked “who is Major? Tell me the truth.” The way his body tensed told me more than his mouth ever would. I knew this was something he never planned on sharing, though now it was exposed and bared. “You were awake in the hospital.” He didn’t state it in the form of a question. I nodded. “Yes I was.” With a sigh he ran his hand through his hair and then gave me the saddest smile. The kind that broke my heart and I didn’t even know what he was going to say after that. “Major is the reason that we can’t be,” he replied with a motion between us. He pointed at me, and then himself. “I was born Major Colt. Then I decided to live my life in the shadows. Working a job that was full of excitement but is lonely. I don’t think I realized how lonely until you. It’s what I thought I wanted then I walked into Hale’s and saw you for the very first time. I didn’t expect to ever find… a you. Someone that would shatter me to walk away from.” There had to be an answer to this. Some solution to this. “But if you don’t like your job just leave it.” He shook his head. “I can’t. Major Colt is dead. I watched my own damn funeral. Saw my family and friends mourn me. It wasn’t easy but I chose this life. Now I have to live what I chose. Ezra has no existence separate from work. If he wants it, well, if I want it, it can’t happen because he isn’t a person.” No, I wouldn’t accept that. I wouldn’t allow that excuse. “I love you,” I told him without fear. Even if he didn’t say the words to me I needed Major and Ezra to know. He was throwing “us” away. He had to think about that before he did it. “You can’t love a dead man,” was his reply. “Good thing you’re not dead,” I said. He closed the distance and we embraced one another. The kiss I thought I’d never get to taste again was suddenly planted on my lips. Making my world contract. I was reminded that pieces of fairytales could happen, if only in slivers and sections, though you might not have them completely. Maybe your dreams couldn’t be experienced, not as you completely dreamed them. You might simply and briefly touch them. Like tiny shards of a broken mirror. What was reflected was a piece of your longing. That gave you the permission to continue dreaming, knowing that hope was present. I slid my hands up his arms and around his neck. My fingers played in the hair at his neckline. He moved down to my bottom to cup it and then drew me closer to his waist. I felt the arousal our kiss had caused. I’d never been this close to a man. I knew what I was feeling but the contours of his bulge was something I’d never touched. He ground into me and I reacted. My body hummed with want. This was what I’d been waiting for. Someone like Ezra to desire me. I wasn’t going to let him go easily. I would fight until my very last breath. When a hand slipped under my shirt my heart went wild in my chest. As it covered my breast I made

a noise. It was similar to a moan, but it was more of a plea, for him to go all the way. For Ezra to take what he wanted. He tugged my bra down and released my flesh into his eager rubbing grip. My breathing became erratic. I wasn’t concerned with oxygen at the moment. I needed Ezra to fulfill this need. When he broke the kiss he muttered a curse under his heaving breath. “Sammy Jo, I can’t do this. Not knowing I have to leave.” Oh yes he could, because he would be back. He was afraid and didn’t tell me he loved me, but I’d seen the look in his eyes, when I said the words to him. Ezra felt something or he wouldn’t be with me in Moulton. He would’ve just walked away. I then did all I knew to do. I pulled my shirt off, dropped it on the grass then discarded my bra the same way. When I reached for the buttons on my blue jean shorts Ezra grabbed my wrists. “Jesus, Sammy Jo,” he groaned. “We aren’t stopping. This is happening.” As soon as he let go of me I would finish undressing. I’d never been naked in front of a man. I could feel the blush creeping over my skin from the sheer exposure of my nudity. This would not keep me from what I wanted. “Sammy Jo, I can’t do this, knowing I’m not coming back.” “Yes you can,” I replied. It was all I had to give him. I’d professed my love and that wasn’t enough to make him stay with me. If this didn’t work then at least I’d have the memory. “I want my first time to be with you.” He closed his eyes tightly and said “shit.” I patiently waited with his hand on my wrists. When he opened his eyes the look was new. There was heat, acceptance and desire. His hands left my wrists and went to my waist. “Let’s go inside,” he said. The chill through my body interrupted my breathing. He had to grab me to keep me from falling.

Chapter Twenty-Two I WALKED INTO my house, topless, with Ezra’s hands on my waist. The heat from his touch was like a bolt of lightning shooting through my body. We were barely inside when he moved me to the table and spun me around to face him, jerking me up against his chest before wildly kissing me again. I released my inhibitions. This would be my final chance. The last time I had Ezra completely to myself and I had to convince him to stay, that his life was solely with me. If it didn’t this was all I would have and I wanted that perfect moment. I tugged on the hem of his shirt. He tore it off and came back to me. My nipples stung with pleasure as they brushed against his chest. The muscles I’d only glimpsed, there against me impressively moving, the flex of his body and uncontained passion writhing and pulling me in. He kneaded my flesh and opened me up and I accepted whatever he did. Nothing had ever felt this amazing and I knew it never would. This would set the sexual bar for me and I knew no other could attain it. Still though, I didn’t care. I was tired of caring. I wanted to get lost. To wander through the soul of this man. Ezra’s hands went down to my shorts. Without breaking the kiss he had them unbuttoned and sliding down my legs. Within seconds they were at my ankles. My mind wanted to shy away but I wasn’t going to let it. This was my first. I wouldn’t ruin it. I stepped from my shorts when they hit the floor. He’d left my panties on. I wondered which pair I was wearing. I couldn’t remember. When his hands went to cover my bottom he slid them under the fabric. Whichever pair they were would be fine with me because they wouldn’t be on me for long. “Sit on the table,” he said, his voice thick and deep. I wasn’t sure why I needed to sit on the table, but my knees felt weak so I figured that was a good idea. He didn’t wait for me to do it. Making quick work of my panties he sat me on the table himself. “I know you’re a virgin Sammy Jo. But have you ever had your pussy eaten?” I shuddered after the question. My body blushed from self-conscious embarrassment. I shook my head no and dropped my gaze. I’d never heard a guy refer to my vagina as a “pussy,” with or without the word “eaten.” I’d heard guys at school say the word before, but they weren’t making reference to mine. Ezra was, and he was direct. “Good,” was his reply. He then knelt down in front of my legs, split them open and pulled them to him, settling them over his shoulders. Now I really wanted him to stop. This was more than I’d imagined when I thought about sex with Ezra and that was a lot. Before I could make him quit his tongue touched me there. I almost bolted from the table. After two

more seconds of this I wasn’t going anywhere. Nor did I care that he was intimately involved in interviewing my vagina. I wanted him to stay where he was for as long as he chose to be there. It seemed to me this was a great idea. My noises sounded like I was begging for more or I assumed that’s what they meant. I couldn’t be sure in my head. The pleasure was almost too much. I couldn’t think clearly or focus on reason, because I didn’t want to do either. My body was clawing for release, one that I was familiar with, because my fingers had brought me to climax many times. However, this was more intense. It was stronger with a different pattern. My body was shaking with anticipation, or was it need or even desire? I wasn’t positive, but I knew that when it broke it would crash like waves on a beach. If I could worry, my worry would be, that I might not survive the explosion. Though this seemed a good way to die. With the ignition of the fireworks thinking wasn’t useful, or if it was, I couldn’t do it. I was thrown into another world, where nothing mattered but the bliss that controlled me. When I finally landed back on earth and my mind connected with my body, Ezra was naked before me. I was lightly being pulled into his arms, and then he spoke and said “Sammy Jo, where’s your bed?” My bed? Oh, where I sleep. I must’ve looked confused because a satisfied smile touched his face and he looked pleased, with himself and his deadly mouth. “It’s your first time. We need a bed. Where is yours?” Oh! Now it was time for the sex. In the bed that I shared with my sister? I wasn’t sure about that. “What about the sofa?” I asked. He cocked an eyebrow as if that were ridiculous. “Why not your bed sweetheart?” He’d just been kissing between my legs. There was no reason to keep any secrets. Modesty has been thrown from the window: “I share it with Hazel, my sister.” A grin broke across his face and he chuckled: “so we can’t have sex where your sister sleeps?” I wasn’t sure. Could we do that? “I don’t know,” I honestly replied. Ezra sighed, his forehead resting against mine and this was his patient reply: “I think your sister will never know. So it’ll be fine. I simply want you to be comfortable. Being your very first time.” He was right. I was being silly. “Okay. Sounds good to me.” With that response he chuckled and picked me up. “Point me in the right direction. I assume if we had this much of a struggle with deciding on the bed that you share, your mother’s is completely off limits?” I tipped my head with several quick jerks. “No way are we going in there.” That made him laugh and then I joined him. “The room to the left is ours.” He carried me like I was a damsel, being rescued from a fire or something. I wanted to and had to say it: “what we did in there,” I began, then paused, and he was immediately understanding. “Yes? Go ahead and ask it.” My goofiness had to cease. I was almost nineteen years old. “That was oral sex.” It was a question, but I didn’t phrase it that way. “That was me eating your pussy,” he said. Then he rested me on my bed. His body hovered above me before he lowered himself against me and my mouth was open. All other thoughts then vanished. Ezra was

skin to skin. The heat from our bodies increased. His pressing hardness was terrifying, though I wanted it to be inside me. I was ready. More than ready. His knee opened my legs as I held his arms. I watched his face and his shifting body. I’d commit this scene to memory. When he was gone I would have this forever. I needed to remember it all. “This hurts. You know that right?” He asked and his voice sounded constrained like he was having difficulty controlling himself. “Yes.” I knew about the pain. My mother had scared us with it when she told us about sex and children. Although I doubted it actually felt like my insides were “being ripped open.” Those were the words she chose. If it had been so bad for her the first time then why did she keep on doing it, spitting out babies left and right and acting like we couldn’t hear them? That was a question that I never asked and the reason I didn’t believe her. Ezra bent his head and kissed my cheek, his breath warm against my skin. “I’ll be easy,” he promised and smiled. Even if she was right I wanted the pain with him.

Chapter Twenty-Three IT DID HURT. But I didn’t care. As soon as Ezra was completely inside me he stopped and waited while peppering my face with kisses as if to soothe me. I lifted my hips to take him deeper once the initial stabbing and the wince that came with it were gone and my body adjusted. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Yes,” my voice was raspy. I held onto his arms tighter waiting for him to move. He took my encouragement, slid his hips closer before pulling away just enough, to ease it back in again. I knew this was how it was done, the mechanics of the thing, but the actual experience was beautiful. We were one. No Major or a secret life. There was nothing keeping us apart. He was altering my life forever. Ezra had become my “first.” “God, you’re so fucking tight. It’s taking all my will power not to lose control and bury myself deep inside you.” I wanted that. This was my chance to have all that Ezra could give me. If he was holding back I didn’t want him to. “Show me, please, do it.” He paused and inhaled a shaky breath. “I can’t. You’re tender. It will hurt.” Yes he could. I wasn’t missing this. If we never had this again I wanted every memory that was possible. “I’m begging you Ezra. Please. Go as deep as you can go. I want to be filled with you.” He tensed and bent his head to kiss me. I leaned into him arching my body. I could not have enough. I longed for his very last inch. “Will you call me Major? While we’re like this? I want to be who I am.” I nodded. He was Ezra to me, but I wanted to know him as Major. The man he was before. Had he been different when he carried that name? What had sent him running into a life in the shadows never to return again? “Raise your knees. Tuck them near my waist.” I did as he said and I felt him go deeper. He was right, it hurt, but I still loved the feeling and wanted as much as he could give. Almost as much as I needed him to tell me he loved me while we were like this. As close as we could be. But he didn’t, the words weren’t his. Neither Ezra nor Major spoke of love. He rocked his hips and brought us both to a climax. I shouted his name, his first, the name he wanted to hear. The name I wanted to know. Tears burned my eyes as he rolled to his side and took me with him for a warm embrace. Still close. Snug against his chest. This could be it and I knew that. This moment could be all I’d get.

Or it could be enough to make him stay. We lay there in silence with our labored breathing slowing with each second that passed. I didn’t want to move. I was afraid to break the silence. So I kept my thoughts to myself. Not asking him for more. Not telling him, yet again, that I loved him, so I said nothing. Minutes turned into an hour before Ezra finally spoke. He’d kissed my head, his hands caressing my arm, while we were there lost in our thoughts. We weren’t sure of the future before us. At least I wasn’t, not knowing what he’d do. “I’ll never forget this,” he finally said and my heart shattered into pieces. Those four words were what I needed to hear, everything I’d waited for. He wouldn’t be staying. This hadn’t been enough. Ezra was going to leave. “Me either,” was all I could say. It was too painful to speak. The urge to beg him was there, under the surface, the barely controllable crust of a wall I was attempting to currently maintain. He kissed my lips, a peck, nothing more. “I can’t tell you I love you Sammy Jo.” At least he was honest. I nodded. Any remnants of my heart were now gone. They combusted and evaporated. I was hollow, empty and broken, beyond any repair or fix. “If I were still Major I wouldn’t leave you. I would give you the life you want. The one that you hold in your dreams. The life I want more than I can tell you.” Again, I had no words. Couldn’t even nod any more. “My world isn’t safe. I need to know that you’re safe. Tell me you really understand.” I did. I wasn’t enough. He had a life of excitement to chase and I wasn’t enough to make him stay. He had excuses but I knew the truth. He didn’t love me. That was the answer. “You never promised me more,” I managed to say. Anything else was a lie, and I wasn’t a liar so I said it, but didn’t feel better when I did. Sighing wearily he laid his head on my shoulder, like the world was on his back. Ezra knew he’d broken my heart, and it was hard on him to react. Even though I tried to remain calm and let him go without shedding a tear, so that he wouldn’t remember he’d crushed me. “I can’t come back,” he said against my skin. “But I’ll dream of you every night. My thoughts will always be wherever you are and I’ll sense that you are with me. From now on I will never be alone. This is the memory I’ll cherish. The one we’re sharing right now.” That was too much. I needed him to stop if I was going to hold myself together. He was expecting a response, which was impossible. We then separated, his body from mine, Ezra covering me with a blanket. He stood naked staring down at me. What strength I had met his gaze there above me, and this would be the last that I saw of him. The sorrow in his eyes mirrored what I felt, or maybe that was my imagination. Begging for this man to feel what I felt as he watched and said the expected: “goodbye Sammy Jo,” he whispered. I wouldn’t say it, couldn’t say it back. Instead I closed my eyes to block out the image of Ezra leaving the room. My memories would end in this bed. They wouldn’t be permitted elsewhere. His footsteps moved away from me. I listened as he dressed in the kitchen where he’d removed his clothing and mine. I waited in the hopes he’d change his mind and come back to me in the bed. If I stood up and went to him I knew I would cry and beg. I would, so I stayed put. Would he decide in there, with

me in here, that we were worth fighting for? Enough for his own rebirth, as the man he’d been before Ezra? He never came back. Neither Ezra nor Major. Both were gone in that instant. For hours I lay, long after his car drove away and the world was silent. The life was sucked from me. My soul seemed gone, my being vacated and nothing remained but pain. I was empty. He’d walked away. Just like he said he would. Just like I’d hoped he wouldn’t. One thing I knew for certain was that Ezra and this other called Major Colt weren’t men who’d lied to me. They’d both been brutally honest. I had chosen not to believe them.

Epilogue WILLIAMS HAD TO drive Hale north to White Plains to meet the cartel and get his coke. He had cash for the kilo and this deal was new and his connection was solid and reliable. He’d move the cocaine through his regular channels and then see if the purity was approved. His customers would let him know, though he kept barriers between them and himself. As far as Williams knew they were going to meet a partner, a new guy that Hale had hired. He owned two restaurants around White Plains and though this was not unusual it was early. They’d left New York at three in the morning with the snow and the ice cascading, falling in chunks and freezing the roads, though Williams knew what he was doing. Before he worked as a driver for Hale, this Williams had other employers. Williams had been around. “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you. It’s this rest stop? The one on the right?” “Yes Williams. Park underneath the floodlight. They’ll be waiting in a car like this one and will flash their lights when they see us.” “Very good. Thank you sir.” They exited slowly and cautiously from the road to the rest stop and Williams took his time. He dodged piled up ice with snow on its top and Hale didn’t seemed bothered. The car he had mentioned was waiting. He was fifteen minutes early, so they must’ve been twenty and that didn’t make him suspicious. This cartel was run by business men much like himself and his father, though his father didn’t have what it took, so he remained in “legitimate ventures,” while Hale expanded into dope and the cash that flowed with its selling. “They are here,” Williams said. “Park fifty feet away so I can see them walk to me and then I’ll need you to go in the restrooms. Here’s a thousand for your inconvenience.” “Thank you sir. Such is appreciated.” Hale fisted the cash between the seats and Williams received it with a smile, looking over his shoulder one more time at his boss scowling from the back. As usual, he was proud of himself. Williams parked and asked “is there anything else?” Hale replied “do what I told you!” Williams then said “so be it.” He stepped from the car into the snow and when he closed the door they locked. No one exited the other black vehicle and he realized he was a hundred feet away instead of the agreed upon fifty. “Williams! Get the fuck back in here and move us closer to them!”

Williams had simply and wholly evaporated into the ice and the snow and the gloom. Hale yanked at the door and it would not open and then he tried all the others unsuccessfully. When Ezra, Gia and Williams in a pack walked in front of Hale’s idling car, they all stopped in the headlights and waved. Another vehicle then exited, picked the three up, and they departed continuing north. Ezra, Williams and the driver didn’t look, but Gia glanced over the seat, both cars exploding in a mushrooming blast and when she spoke she spoke to herself. “I hate a motherfucker that beats on a woman.” Ezra replied “amen.”