Club X Complete Series - K.M. Scott

CLUB X BOX SET K.M. SCOTT

Temptation, Surrender, Possession, Satisfaction, and Acceptance are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to events, locations, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. 2016 Copper Key Media, LLC Copyright © 2016 Copper Key Media, LLC Kindle Edition All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. Published in the United States ISBN-10: 1-941594-46-8 ISBN-13: 978-1-941594-46-9 Cover Design: Cover Me, Darling Adult Content: Contains graphic sexual content

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Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page TEMPTATION About the Book Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Epilogue SURRENDER About the Book Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Epilogue POSSESSION About the Book Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Epilogue SATISFACTION Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen Epilogue ACCEPTANCE About the Book Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Epilogue Excerpt from Silk Volume One Excerpt from The Eleventh Hour About the Author Books by K.M. Scott Books by Gabrielle Bisset

TEMPTATION CLUB X #1

The Club X Series, a scorching hot new erotic contemporary romance series by New York Times bestselling author K.M. Scott. Cassian March, the public face of Tampa’s most exclusive nightspot, Club X, has a great life. Women, sex, and money are his for the taking, and no man indulges his desires more. Life is short, and he plays hard. He lives by only one rule—never let a woman get close. Olivia Lucas needs a job, and if that means working at a club that specializes in making members’ wildest fantasies come true, then that’s what she’ll do. A girl’s got to pay the rent, right? She never expected to fall for the gorgeous owner of Club X, though, but a man like him would never go for someone like her. Or would he?

Chapter One

Olivia THE LARGE, MANILA ENVELOPE SAT on the coffee table with the ticket to the next chapter in my life. After nearly six months of being unemployed, it was time to join the ranks of the working again. I knew that. But after being out of commission for so long, all that was running through my mind was pure, unmitigated fear. Whoever said a degree meant a sure job must have been living in a different century. I’d done everything right. After four years of college, I’d graduated magna cum laude from a good school with a degree in management in hand ready to conquer the world. Unfortunately, I hadn’t realized thousands of others just like me had the same plans, many of whom had attended even better schools and had a jumpstart on me with even better internships than mine. So after five years dedicating myself day and night to climbing the corporate ladder at the nation’s newest sports apparel company, the fine folks who sat in cushy corner offices at Premier Sports decided to promote the other guy to regional sales manager of the northeast and gave me a pink slip. “You know how it is, Olivia. The economy just isn’t what we hoped it would be. Best of luck.” Best of luck. Nice. So Tony Galente and his lovely wife and three kids moved to Boston while I got a weak excuse for being fired and stayed right there in Tampa. Picking up the envelope, I thought about the frigid New England winters and muttered, “I hope he freezes his ass off up there.” Printed in big letters, the name of my new employer stared up from the envelope at me. March Enterprises. The real name on the envelope should have said Club X. I’d lived in Tampa all my life and never once had I heard of any club named that, and I’d spent my fair share of nights celebrating everything from birthdays to bachelorette parties to my friends’ promotions. But my friend Jake had and thinking he was helping me one night while he was on a partying binge had mentioned my name to one of the owners who was looking for an assistant to the main owner. That he was entirely too vague on the particulars of Club X made me uneasy, but he’d assured me this was a job I’d be perfect for. All I had to do was find a way to be okay that Club X was, as Jake termed it, “the kind of place I was in desperate need of,” whatever that meant. Well, as they say, beggars can’t be choosers, and this beggar had just about depleted the last of her savings. Whatever Club X might be, I needed this job. So I sat there with a potential job offer in my hands, unsure of what exactly the owner at Club X would want me to do but sure I couldn’t turn it down. Slowly, I slid the lone piece of paper out to again see merely a paragraph telling me that if I desired, the job of executive assistant was available. All I had to do was interview at two that afternoon. Reading between the lines, I knew they wanted to see if my inperson style was as impressive as my qualifications on paper. “So they want to see you, Olivia. Time to show them what you got.” Standing on shaky legs, I walked into my bedroom and checked out my interview look in the mirror. A navy blue business suit, white blouse, and navy three inch pumps said I was a confident businesswoman, even if my insides were shaking like jelly. I smoothed a few stray red hairs back into my bun and took a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this.

ARRIVING MUCH EARLIER THAN I’D planned, I parked my 2005 Subaru Impreza across the street from an enormous warehouse and checked the address on the paper, sure I’d made a mistake. Jake had told me Club X was a bar and entertainment complex. Looking out my driver’s side window, all I saw was an huge building that resembled an old factory. My GPS said I was in the right place, though, so I sat back and listened to music for ten minutes, hoping my interview jitters would calm themselves soon. As Katy Perry’s Roar played like an anthem for my interview, I watched for any sign of life in the building I was supposed to enter in just minutes but saw no one. The warehouse was five floors and took up half an entire city block. Unlike other factories, though, this building had few windows. In addition, there was no neon sign alerting potential patrons that Club X even existed there. Perhaps that was why they were looking for an executive assistant to the owner. Someone needed to clue these people in on basic marketing techniques. The song ended, and I checked my phone for the time. 1:48. Time to head in. One last quick look in the rearview mirror to check that I didn’t have lipstick on my teeth and I was ready to go. Stepping out into the warm May sun, I took a deep breath and made my way to the building. Unsure of which door to enter through since all the doors looked like the basic industrial strength steel variety, I turned the doorknob on the one closest to the left side of the building and hoped I wouldn’t have to try too many and end up being late for the interview. Luck was with me and the door opened into Club X. I tried to calm my shaking legs, stepped inside, and stared with wide eyes at the scene in front of me. Open to the ceiling two floors above, the room was enormous. A solid glass bar ran the entire length of the far wall on the main floor, along with tables and chairs that took up most of the room. At the opposite end of the room was a huge space, I suspected for a dance floor. Craning my neck, I slowly turned around and tried to see the floors above but in the dim light I could only see walkways and staircases leading from level to level. “Ms. Lucas?” I turned at the sound of a deep voice saying my name and saw a man coming toward me. Over six foot, he was well-built yet lean, like every muscle in his body was trained to work at peak performance. His hair was dark brown and short, and as he came closer I saw his eyes, a brilliant blue color framed by dark lashes. His grey business suit was obviously expensive and tailor made to fit his well-proportioned body. In fact, everything about him screamed money. And sex. Definitely sex. Like the kind of sex that left you boneless on his silk sheets with him still inside you after fucking you better than you’d ever been fucked before. Extending my hand to shake his, I smiled and tried to keep myself composed as I introduced myself. “I’m Olivia Lucas. It’s very nice to meet you, Mr…?” I left my statement hanging because there hadn’t been a name on the letter they’d sent. His piercing eyes studied me intensely before he spoke and his voice flowed over me like silk. “March. Cassian March. Welcome to Club X.” He surprised me by pronouncing the Roman numeral ten for X. “Oh, I hadn’t realized the X was the Roman numeral. My friend had called it Club X, as in the letter x,” I admitted, feeling a blush cover my cheeks at the mention of Jake’s mistake. He studied me again, his gaze unwavering as it held mine. “That happens a lot. The club’s secretive nature lends itself to the x name, but I originally opened it up with the intent of calling it Club Ten but with the Roman numeral. You’ll find many of our patrons think like your friend does. Perhaps it’s time I did the same.” His voice dropped, and I hoped he wasn’t already disappointed in me even before I had the chance to

show him I was as good in person as my qualifications were on paper. Pressing a smile onto his very kissable lips, he held his arm out to lead me to his office and I followed him, enjoying the view from behind even as I silently scolded myself for not focusing on what was important. Checking out my new boss’s incredible ass wasn’t keeping my eye on the prize, no matter how hot he looked in that suit. Guiding me into his office at the very back of the building, he sat down behind an enormous glass desk and extended his arm once again, this time to offer me a seat. As I tried to relax, he picked up the phone and called someone to alert them I’d arrived. Instantly, my anxiety ratcheted up more than a few notches as I hadn’t realized this would be a group interview. He shuffled papers around on his desk, seeming to look for something, and I told myself I could handle this. An interview with five or even ten owners was the same as an interview with one owner, right? As I looked around at his minimalist designed office, a younger man responded to his call, and I guessed he was in his mid-twenties. He took his place next to Cassian and began to talk to him, and I noticed my potential new boss looked similar to this second man, even though this younger man had lighter hair and brown eyes. “We’re just waiting for Kane. He’s the third owner of Club X,” Cassian explained in a voice that signaled his impatience at the fact that this other man hadn’t appeared yet. “While we’re waiting for him, let me introduce you two. Stefan, this is Olivia Lucas. She’s here for the job as my assistant. Olivia, this is my brother, Stefan March.” The one I pegged as the younger brother wore jeans and a white T-shirt with the club’s logo, which showed off his arms full of tattoos that covered from his wrists all the way up to where his shirt began and a bigger, more muscular body than his brother’s. The man clearly saw the inside of a gym and often. He carried himself far more casually than his brother too. And if Cassian screamed sex, this man oozed it, like the sweetest honey drizzled on the tip of your tongue. Sandy brown hair slightly longer than his brother’s shorter, more professional haircut gave him a carefree look, but there was no escaping the fact that he was as intense as his brother, just in a different way. With a gorgeous smile, he slid his dark brown gaze over me and nodded. “Nice to meet you, Olivia. I manage the day-to-day operations of the club, unlike Cash, who spends all his time in this office dressed in suits meant to smother a man.” “It’s nice to meet you, Stefan,” I said with a smile, unable to remain purely businesslike in his presence. In just seconds, I’d warmed up to him more than I imagined I’d ever warm up to his brother. “You’re going to love it here,” Stefan continued. “And I promise if my brother works you too hard, all you have to do is come find me. I’ll make sure this doesn’t become a nine to five grind.” Something in the way his eyes continued to focus on everything below my neck told me he would live up to that promise if I let him. I tried not to look too enchanted by him, even if I instantly felt attracted to him and his warm personality, because even as we began to get to know one another, I sensed disapproval in Cassian’s face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone approach the office, and turning my head, I saw a third man much bigger than either Cassian or Stefan but practically Cassian’s twin, except for his very short hair. Dressed in black pants and a long sleeve black Henley that only accentuated the darkness of his cropped hair, he instantly intimidated me. The polar opposite to Stefan, this man said nothing and appeared unhappy at the prospect of meeting me at all. “Kane, this is Olivia Lucas. She’s here for the assistant job. Olivia, this is my brother, Kane.” Extending my hand, I shook the third man’s hand and said hello, but he said nothing back. His jet black hair and blue eyes gave him a striking look, much like his brother’s, but Kane’s demeanor frightened me with its coldness. Backing away from me, he seemed happy to have the introductions over, and I felt pretty

much the same about him. I also noticed how Cassian’s voice caught slightly when he said Kane was his brother. They looked around the same age, but they weren’t twins, so what were they if calling him brother was so awkward? “So Olivia, maybe I should tell you about who we are and what we do here at Club X,” Cassian said with a smile, using the letter x for the first time in the name. “I handle the business of running this place, while Stefan handles the operations. Kane handles the security and performers. Together, we own the biggest private club in the city.” He stopped talking, and I sat waiting for him to continue, my gaze focused on his very attractive face. Chiseled features with masculine lines, his look was very much one of a man of power. He merely stared back at me and appeared to wait for me to speak, creating an odd silence I was sure wasn’t going to bode well for my chances at getting the assistant job. Thankfully, Stefan spoke up. Pushing on his brother’s arm, he said with a broad smile that made my uneasiness disappear, “Cash, Jake obviously didn’t tell her what we do here. I think you may have to be a bit more detailed.” Detailed? Cassian grimaced at his brother’s suggestion, but with a slow nod, he agreed with Stefan and continued, this time explaining more about what exactly Club X was. “Club X is a private club that serves as a nightclub and a place that caters to our members’ fantasies. People pay to join and have the choice of merely coming here to enjoy the best nightlife the city has to offer or, if they choose, having us provide the necessary requirements to fulfill their fantasies.” He said those words as if he were describing how to water down patrons’ drinks. Fulfill fantasies? Was he talking about sexual fantasies? “I can see by your expression that you’re a bit surprised. Please feel free to ask whatever questions you may have,” Cassian said in a deep, reassuring voice I already liked hearing. Struggling to form an intelligent thought, I asked the first question that came to me. “Are we talking BDSM? I know it’s all the rage these days.” A slow smile spread across his gorgeous mouth, but it was Stefan who spoke up to answer my question. With a chuckle, he said, “No. There are dozens of places on the West Coast that handle that. We’re more unique here at Club X. Imagine this. A woman wants to be wined and dined, but her husband has no interest. She comes to us for a night she’ll remember for the rest of her life. We give our members what they want.” “So, no sex? Just dinner and conversation?” I asked, pretty sure that’s not what he meant. With a twinkle in his eye, Stefan cocked one eyebrow. Shaking his head, he said, “No. If that’s all they want, that’s fine, but we find that our members tend to want experiences that will stay with them forever, and that usually means sex.” “Oh.” I had no idea how I was supposed to respond to that. I was no prude, by any means. I got my freak on from time to time. It’s just that I wasn’t sure what I was getting into with the March brothers and Club X. I did need a job badly, though. “Think of us as matchmakers for very particular people,” Cassian said with a smile, “matching them with experiences they’ve only dreamed of.” “I don’t mean to ask all the wrong questions, but is this legal?” Thankfully, my question didn’t sound as silly spoken out loud as it did in my head. All three men smiled, even Kane, and Stefan answered, “Nothing wrong with that question, Olivia. Yes, it’s entirely legal. It would only be illegal if we were providing men or women paid solely for sex. We’re not doing prostitution. Just fantasy fulfillment.”

I wasn’t sure fantasy fulfillment was strictly legal either, at least the way they did it, but I let that go for the moment. “Where does this all happen? I mean, this building is huge, but much of it seemed to be the nightclub I saw when I walked in.” Cassian looked to his left. “I’ll let Kane explain that part.” His face serious once again, the biggest brother stared down at me, making me feel small and vulnerable. Something in his piercing blue eyes unnerved me, and as he spoke, I couldn’t help but look away. His voice, even deeper than Cassian’s, came out in a rasp. “The upper three floors have rooms to accommodate fifteen members in total. Most nights all the rooms are reserved well in advance. If a fantasy requires more than one room, then that’s what we give them. For a price, of course.” Looking at Cassian, who’d quickly become the only brother who didn’t make me nervous, I asked, “May I ask how much all this costs?” “Basic membership is five thousand, with gold membership at ten. Platinum members pay twenty thousand, but with that membership comes a number of perks, such as top shelf liquor and the ability to jump ahead of other members in the reservation line. We also work very hard to accommodate platinum members’… wishes.” The way he hesitated before saying the word wishes made me think there was much more to what those platinum members received for their twenty thousand dollars. My curiosity piqued, I continued with my questions. “How much does each fantasy fulfillment cost?” Cassian folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. “It depends on the type of fantasy the member wants to pursue. Just as with the memberships, there are basic, gold, and platinum level fantasy packages. Fantasies in the basic package level take less than two hours to stage and don’t include anything sexual. They cost anywhere from two thousand and up, depending on the extras required. Gold level fantasy packages take between two and four hours to stage and can include sexual components. The gold package level costs from five thousand and up, again depending on the extras required, such as alcohol, costumes, and additional people. Platinum level fantasy packages require more time and preparation, so they’re more expensive. Often, they need up to eight or even ten hours, and that level almost always involves sexual fantasies. The platinum package level starts at ten thousand and depending on the extras required, can cost twice or three times as much.” As I struggled to keep my face from showing exactly how shocked I was at what I’d just heard, I mentally wondered who the hell Club X’s members were and how they afforded these things. If what Kane had said was the truth, then there were a lot of people in my hometown living out their fantasies and paying through the nose to do so. No doubt Jake had paid with his father’s money, but I had to wonder— which level membership did he have? “Wow. I’ve never heard of anything like this,” I admitted quietly, sure I sounded like some sheltered soul who’d never truly lived a day in her life. Pleased with my response, Cassian smiled warmly and nodded his head. “We saw a niche we could fill and we’ve been lucky enough to find a receptive audience in the Tampa area. I want to assure you, Olivia, that your job would involve none of the actual operations of the club but merely assisting me in my part of running our business. Unfortunately for you, I’m the owner who has the least exotic part to deal with.” His self-effacing way of saying he was the purely business part of the club charmed me, even if he hadn’t meant to, and whatever reservations I had about the job evaporated under his appealing gaze. “Thank you, Mr. March. I’m sure the job will be challenging and fulfilling.” Stefan threw his head back and laughed out loud, and I thought I even saw Kane crack a smile as I spoke. “Mr. March? That’s got to go,” Stefan said, elbowing Cassian next to him.

“You can call me Cassian or Cash, whichever you like, Olivia. We’ll be working closely, so Mr. March seems incredibly formal.” “Even for Mr. Suit and Tie it’s too formal,” Stefan joked. “Just call him Cash. It’s what we call him. Leave Cassian for business meetings.” Cassian opened up a folder on his desk and pushed a stack of papers toward me. Looking down, I saw they were part of a contract. “Take a few minutes to think about what we’ve discussed, and feel free to consult legal counsel before you sign the contract we require. There is a non-disclosure agreement that you should be aware of barring you from discussing anything you see or learn as my assistant concerning the club’s business practices. We’ll leave you to read over the contract, and when I return, we can discuss anything you aren’t sure of.” Before I could say another word, they filed out of the office one by one and left me there with a stack of papers I knew I should have an attorney look at before I signed a thing. I began reading the contract, all the while knowing that I couldn’t afford to visit a lawyer, much less say no to the job. I read every word of the contract, but it wouldn’t have mattered if it said I had to wear a French maid’s uniform while I worked and couldn’t get benefits until I got down on my knees and begged. The salary was more than I’d expected and would help me finally get out of the hole I’d been in for far too long. Finding nothing suspect in the dozen or so pages of the contract, I sat back and waited for Cassian to return. He needed an assistant, and I needed a job. It was a match made in heaven.

Chapter Two

Cassian F OLLOWING STEFAN AND KANE OUT of my office, I met them in the bar area to give Olivia some privacy while she read over the extensive contract I required all employees sign. Although we’d just met, I liked her and wanted her to accept the job, mainly because I’d gone long enough without an assistant. In a low voice, Kane said with a grin, “I always love it when you say what we do here is legal. You’re the only one of us who could pull that off. There’s no way anyone would believe that coming from Stefan or me.” “Yeah, well, we’d never get anyone to come in here as my assistant if we told them we had to pay off the cops and grease the politicians to stay open, especially someone like Olivia there.” “She’s a cute one, even in that suit,” Stefan said with a predatory smirk, betraying how much he liked her already too. “Don’t even think of it,” I warned my little brother whose inability to keep his hands off the employees had led to more than one legal mess I’d had to clean up. “You’re not talking about that non-fraternization business in your contracts, are you? What’s the point of running a place like this if we don’t get to enjoy ourselves sometimes?” Kane rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust. Unlike Stefan, my half-brother never bothered with any of the staff, despite the fact that he dealt with the more erotic areas of the club and had more than ample opportunity to try out the dancers, even if it violated the non-fraternization clause of our deal. “No, I’m not talking about the fact that you’re supposed to keep your hands off the bartenders so I don’t have to deal with another problem that will cost us more money to keep another girl quiet. That nondisclosure clause requires lawyers to enforce it, Stefan.” “Then what are you talking about? She’s hot.” He peered over my shoulder into my office and grinned. “Have you ever noticed how few good looking redheads there are in the world? She’s definitely in the hot redhead category. I usually don’t like red hair with brown eyes, but they work on her. Why shouldn’t I see if she wants to get together?” Intentionally making my voice stern, I answered, “Because I said not to.” I saw in Kane’s eyes that he instantly understood my point, but Stefan’s cock was doing the thinking for him, so he didn’t seem to comprehend the sharpness of my scolding. “Are you saying she’s off limits, Cash? That sounds like a challenge to me. I bet I could have her begging for it in no time.” Taking a step closer to him, I leaned hard against his shoulder to warn him. “I’m saying she’s not to be touched. Are we clear?” Stefan looked over at Kane as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, and when he didn’t find an ally in him for his conquest, turned back to face me. Putting his hands up in surrender, he shrugged. “No problem. I was just having a little fun. That’s all. I had no idea you’d decided she was yours. Take it easy, Cash. You won’t find a problem with me. You might want to try showing her you like her, though. My guess is that she has no idea since you act like all the fun in you is trapped in that suit and tie.” I looked back at Olivia as she sat in my office examining the contract I hoped she’d sign. Unlike Stefan, I didn’t make it a practice of sleeping with every woman who worked for me. My previous assistant had left because she’d gotten married and her husband had thought little of her working in a

place associated with other people’s fantasies. I could understand that. I’m not sure I’d want any wife of mine spending her workdays surrounded by what we dealt with here. Stefan hadn’t been wrong in his assessment of how attractive Olivia was. He may not have found redheads sexy more times than not, but for me, redheads were always hot, no matter what color eyes they had. Fiery and hot-tempered, there was nothing sexier than a redhead, and a smart one like Olivia was the best type of woman there was. Jesus, I sounded like my horny younger brother. I didn’t need to troll the club for potential girlfriends. My personal life was better left right where it was—separate from my business life. I didn’t date women who were members of the club, especially those who enjoyed the fantasies we provided. That had disaster written all over it. I lived by the old adage “Don’t shit where you eat”. Women were easy to come by. I didn’t have to spend my time at work picking them up. If only I could convince Stefan of that fact. “So you think she’s going to work out, Cash?” he asked, shaking me from my thoughts. “She’ll be fine. She’s got great qualifications and she seems easy enough to get along with. As long as she can handle the place, I don’t see a problem.” “I wonder if she’ll take advantage of the unique benefits package we offer,” Stefan said with a grin. Kane looked moderately interested in his idea, probably because it was he who organized that part of the business. I wasn’t sure allowing upper level employees like our assistants to become members automatically was a good idea, even though I’d had Olivia checked out thoroughly before she walked through the door. She had no bad habits, no addictions, and decent credit, except for the past six months, so even if she wasn’t an employee she’d likely been eligible to become a member. I just hoped letting her wouldn’t encourage that shitting where we ate thing. “You know what I think about mixing business with pleasure, little brother,” I chastised, hoping Stefan would get the hint that whatever would happen with Olivia wouldn’t involve him at all. “That it makes us millions of fucking dollars a year? Stop acting like you aren’t intimately involved in this business of ours, Cash. I don’t care if you’ve never taken advantage of the pleasures Kane and his people offer upstairs. You benefit from the mixing of business and pleasure every day of your life, and just because you dress like some stiff doesn’t mean you can divorce yourself from who we truly are.” Kane winced, his expression almost one of pain at Stefan’s choice of words, but I let his little lecture slide for the moment. Just because I was part owner of Club X didn’t mean I had to be like him. “If there’s no objection to Olivia, I’m going to offer her the job,” I said definitively. I didn’t think there’d be any opposition to her, but as equals in the business, I had to legally give my partners a chance to express their disapproval, if they had any. Silently, Kane shook his head, and when I looked to his left at Stefan, he pretended to think of a reason to argue against my hiring of her but just shrugged his shoulders. “You know what I think. I think you shouldn’t waste time getting her to join you upstairs. You’re not seeing anyone seriously now, so there’s never been a better time.” Turning to walk back into my office, I leaned in toward Stefan and whispered, “I’ve told you before what I think of you getting involved in my personal life. You made that mistake once and I forgave you. Don’t make it again. I can’t promise I’ll be as forgiving the second time.” Before he had the chance to give me some bullshit answer that would likely irritate me, I left him standing with Kane and rejoined Olivia as she finished reading her contract. Taking my seat behind my desk, I adjusted my suit coat sleeves and waited for her to ask whatever questions she had about her new job.

I studied her, remembering how the background investigation on her had said she was twenty-seven. Something in her face showed an edge that gave her a more mature look than one I’d expect in someone her age. I liked that. I didn’t need some doe-eyed girl who needed direction at every turn. I needed an assistant like Kate had been for me—competent, intelligent, and supportive. Watching Olivia, I hoped I’d found that in her. She seemed uncomfortable as she hesitated for a moment before looking up from the papers in front of her. “I’m sorry. Do you have a pen?” Sliding one toward her, I touched her finger with mine, noticing instantly how soft her skin felt as she slid the pen from my grasp. She smiled her appreciation and with no more hesitation, signed on the bottom line to become my new executive assistant. A little surprised by her lack of questions about the position, I guessed she likely was in as much debt as the investigator had reported. Still, I felt uncomfortable beginning our working arrangement without some discussion of her possible concerns. “Olivia, you have no questions?” Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly. “I have a lot of questions. Like can you give me some history on the club? I tried to find out about it, but you’ve been very successful in keeping this place under the radar.” “No problem. Originally, my brothers and I bought into Club X with two other investors, one of whom was a silent partner. The other wasn’t as silent, but when the first one decided to offer his part in the business, I believe because he was getting married, the other man chose likewise to give us a chance to buy him out and we did. That was just a few months ago, but in truth, we’ve been running the club by ourselves for a little over five years.” She smiled politely, and I prepared to tell my usual lie so she didn’t bolt out the door before she even got to give the place a chance. “I suspect you’re concerned about the legality of all this, despite my explanation before. I can assure you that the police know about this place, and in fact, some even are members.” Olivia nodded her understanding and smiled. “Thank you. It makes me feel much better knowing that.” When she smiled, she looked more like a twenty year old. Her brown eyes lit up her entire face, and the apples of her cheeks got a pinkish color to them that gave her a sweet look. As long as she could handle the job responsibilities, she could look any age she wanted to. “Please feel free to ask me anything that’s on your mind. It’s important that you feel comfortable here, Olivia.” “Okay, then here goes. On page four there’s a paragraph after the non-disclosure section about my responsibilities concerning the press. Is this something that I should be prepared for?” “Yes and no. Because the club has been around for a while, the press usually approaches one of us if there are any questions. However, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen with one of the club’s employees. We tell all our people that the standard answer of ‘No statement’ usually suffices. Just let me know if you’re asked any questions, and I’ll take care of it.” Nodding, she smiled as she attempted to hide her uneasiness. “Okay. On page seven the section about becoming a member…” She knitted her brows and looked away as she lowered her voice. “I don’t have that kind of money. I mean, you don’t have to worry about me being a gambler or drug addict or anything like that. That’s not why I’m a little shy on cash now. It’s just that I’ve been out of work for a few months, so thousands of dollars right now isn’t something I can do.” Her cheeks blushed a deep red now, and I saw in her eyes her pride made her hate the words she had to say, so I quickly worked to belay her awkwardness. “It’s fine, Olivia. Upper level employees are given memberships free of charge. It’s entirely up to them if they choose to take advantage of them or not.”

Why I said that I had no idea. I’d never cared one way or the other what employees did concerning membership to the club before. And why I’d said it that way, almost implying that she shouldn’t take advantage of everything the club offered, made it seem like I didn’t want her to. “Oh, okay. Thank you.” Quickly, I moved to change the subject. “Were there any other questions?” She thought for a moment and then smiled warmly. “Just one. Nowhere in the contract was any mention of what hours I’d be working. I know you’re obviously here in the daytime, but it seems like your business is primarily a nighttime one.” Amused by her observation and the lack of attention to that point in the contract, I chuckled. “I’m here every day from eleven am to midnight. You may choose any eight hours within that time that you like. If I need you for something at a particular time, I’ll let you know.” “Every day?” she asked, her eyes wide. “I’m here every day. I guess you can call me a workaholic. You won’t have to be. Monday through Friday will work fine, unless there’s an event I need you for.” I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted to add that she could stay late any night. Never once had I even thought that for any of my assistants, but something about Olivia made me want to be more like Stefan. It was wrong. I knew that. I’d worked damned hard to make Club X a success, and that didn’t include fucking around with the people who worked under me. Our lawyers had enough on their plates dealing with the problems Stefan’s libido caused for us. I didn’t need to add to them. Olivia staring at me jarred me from my daydreaming. Quickly, I pulled the contract toward me to pretend to examine it, giving myself time to regain my composure. After a few moments, I looked up and said, “If there are no other questions, you can begin tomorrow. Sound good?” Nodding, she smiled like she was relieved. “That sounds great. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I’m looking forward to learning all about Club X.” She extended her hand to shake mine, and I enjoyed the warm and welcoming feel of her skin. As I escorted her out, I couldn’t help but notice she really was quite stunning. Maybe hiring her wasn’t such a good idea. I watched her wave back at me as she opened the door to head out into the sun and heard Kane behind me mutter, “She’s a lot different from Kate. Are we going to lose her when she gets married too?” The last sight of Olivia faded as the door closed, and I shook my head as I continued to stare at where she’d just stood. “I don’t know. I didn’t bother to find out if she was with anyone.” I heard him turn away as he said, “Maybe you should have.”

* BY MIDNIGHT, I WAS READY for a diversion. A full night of my mind wandering to my new assistant when I should have been hard at work had been frustrating, and I wanted nothing more than to start acting like myself again. Cassian March didn’t spend hours fantasizing about any woman, especially one of his employees, no matter how hot she was. Thankfully, it didn’t take much to make the real man I was come back again. My phone rang as I drove back to my condo providing me with exactly the distraction I needed to get my mind off Olivia. Pulling into my parking spot, I picked up my phone to see Cheri calling, as if the Universe had seen me acting like some oversexed boy and sent her to remind me of exactly what I was. “Cash, it’s Cheri. What are you doing, baby?” she cooed into the phone. “Just getting home.”

“I can be there in fifteen minutes. Why don’t you take a shower, don’t bother with putting clothes back on, and have a glass of Cab Sav waiting for me?” The memory of my last time with Cheri sent a jolt through my body, making my cock stiffen in anticipation. Blond hair, blue eyes, and nearly six foot with legs that seemed to go on forever, she was built like she’d been made especially to please a man. A little vapid, she didn’t offer much in the brain department, but then again, I wasn’t looking for an intellectual discussion tonight. I really didn’t give a damn about what she thought about much of anything. What I wanted tonight was someone to fill up the spaces in my mind occupied with fantasies I shouldn’t have with the reality I could easily have again and again. Thinking Cheri’s offer was exactly what I needed, I closed my eyes and still said, “I don’t know. It’s been a long day.” The phone fell silent and I could almost hear her pouting. I pictured her perfectly shaped lips brushing against her cell phone as she considered what words she needed to say to convince me. “Cash, you know you want to. I can hear it in your voice. You’re dying for something to take the edge off after a long day running that club of yours. Don’t deny it.” “You’re very persuasive, Cheri, but I don’t know. Maybe I just want to relax tonight.” “Baby, in fifteen minutes, I can be there and you can be feeling like you haven’t felt since the last time we were together.” Any other woman saying that would sound ridiculous, but when Cheri promised a night of pleasure, I knew she’d deliver. The girl was one-of-a-kind. Running my free hand over the front of my pants, I closed my eyes and remembered the last time we were together. If it was possible, my cock grew even harder at the memory of her on all fours and me fucking her from behind on my balcony. Never a quiet lay, she took it to the next level that night, screaming my name over and over as she came. My neighbors must have loved that show. Thankfully, I couldn’t make it to the next condo association meeting. Taking a deep breath, I said, “I’ll leave the door unlocked. Let yourself in.” She quietly moaned. “And do you know what I’m in the mood for tonight, Cash?” I could only imagine. Cheri’s sexual appetites tended toward the wilder side compared to most of the women I knew, with role play one of her favorite pastimes. While I normally enjoyed the idea of tying her up or her in that schoolgirl outfit she liked to wear, I wasn’t sure I wanted anything that involved tonight. I wanted to fuck Olivia out of my system, not put on some sex show. Some nights just called for the basics, and tonight was one of those nights. Turning off my car, I stretched my legs at the thought of what she might want. “I have no idea.” “I’ve been aching to fuck you in your shower again. Do you remember that time? My legs were tired all the next day. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex for that long in my life.” Her voice practically purred in my ear. The time she and I fucked in my shower I nearly blacked out from the sex. The woman knew how to fuck, no doubt. I hadn’t planned on doing anything that required that much exertion tonight, but if this was what the Universe was sending me, who was I to turn it down? As the memory of Cheri riding my cock until the two of us practically melted into an exhausted heap of sated flesh danced through my mind, I made my way toward my place, thankful the Universe knew me so well. “Be here in fifteen, but I think we’ll have a replay of our time on my couch instead. And don’t be late or I’ll find someone else to spend my time with,” I said sharply, not exactly teasing. Cheri liked a strong hand to guide her, and I was more than happy to oblige. Only a fool would turn down such a gift.

Chapter Three

Olivia “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GUYS never told me about Club X! What am I? The ugly stepsister?” I said jokingly while I handed Josie and Erin glasses of wine as we settled in for a night of celebration for my new job. “We did. Don’t you remember?” Erin said in their defense. “It was that time when Jake offered to help us all get memberships.” I narrowed my eyes to faux angry slits and studied her expression to see if she was kidding. Her dark brown eyes stared back at me, telegraphing she was telling the truth. I didn’t remember Jake ever offering to get us into Club X, though. “I have no recollection of that, ladies,” I teased, doing my best lawyer voice for Josie. Erin looked to her right at her, who sat on the arm of my couch smiling. “Would you like to help her remember?” Josie loved her job as an insurance fraud investigator and even though we teased her about the fact that she acted like one twenty-four-seven, she took every opportunity to tease us right back. “My pleasure, Ms. Andrews. Now, Ms. Lucas, do you remember the night Mr. Richfield and the two of us sat here discussing how to celebrate your twenty-fifth birthday? I believe you were seated in the same place as you are now, not surprisingly since you’re a creature of habit who never changes.” She took a breath in her interrogation, and I mumbled, “Harsh,” at her assessment of me, regardless of how correct she was. “Continuing on, Ms. Lucas. Now do you remember Mr. Richfield suggesting you go wild and really let your hair down?” Her piercing blue-green eyes stared at me as she waited for my answer. To be honest, I didn’t remember anything she and Erin were claiming. “Ms. Tellow, since Jake says that to me at least once a week, I doubt I’d be able to remember the time he said that nearly three years ago.” “It was a week before your birthday, and he told all three of us he could get us into Club X. If I remember correctly, and I’m sure I do, you declined his offer while the two of us eagerly jumped at the chance to join.” Erin nodded her agreement. “Ringing any bells, Liv?” “No, but now I feel like the odd man out. So you two have been going to Club X all this time? What’s it like?” I asked, unsure if I really wanted to know but too curious not to ask. “In. Fucking. Credible,” Josie said as she slid down onto the couch cushion next to Erin. “Some of our best times have been at Club X. Now I’ve never taken advantage of the top floors, but someday I will. I’m telling you ladies, when I think of a fantasy I can’t make come true in my regular life, those Club X folks are going to come in damn handy.” I looked over at Erin, the more reasonable of my two closest friends, but she had that same wide-eyed look that told me she’d enjoyed my new workplace too. “What?” she asked, throwing her hands up in the air. “You’re looking at me like you’re surprised. I’m not allowed to have any fun?” “No, it’s just that I always considered you the more sensible of the two of you.” “Yeah, well, sensible or not, that club you’re working at is the hottest place I’ve ever partied. You

should see the men there, Liv. Oh my God!” “Nice. So why haven’t I heard you guys talking about this place before now?” Erin and Josie turned to look at one another, and then Josie made a gesture to zip her mouth closed. “It’s like Vegas, baby. What happens at Club X stays at Club X.” The two of them burst into laughter, and for the first time since I’d met them years before on our high school track team, I felt like an outsider. Everybody I was close to knew all about Club X but me. It was sophomore year when I didn’t qualify for regionals and they did all over again. “It’s okay, Livy. You haven’t missed anything you would have liked. You like a more refined kind of place,” Erin said trying to make me feel better but only making me feel worse. Emptying my wine glass, I swallowed my pinot noir and shook my head. “You’re right. I don’t like to have fun much anyway. I was too busy working my ass off to get canned before I could even get vested.” I knew I was slipping into the pool of self-pity, but I didn’t care. I may not be the kind of girl who swung from the chandelier, but I wasn’t the model for the front of Old Maid cards either. “Oh, Livy. Erin didn’t mean anything bad by that. It’s just that you tend to be more straight-laced, you know? We just thought Club X was too low brow for you since you showed no interest in Jake’s offer. You’re more of a wine and cheese party kind of girl.” “I guess that’s supposed to make me feel better, Josie?” I asked with more emotion in my voice than I’d intended. Erin leaned over to give my knee a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m sorry. We’re both sorry. It’s all water under the bridge now, though. You’re going to be part of the inner circle of Club X, so whatever stories we have are going to pale in comparison to yours. I’ve heard the men who run the place are sexier than all hell. Are they?” I thought about Cassian and Stefan March and had to agree. Both were definitely sexy. And Kane? While that mad, bad, and dangerous to know vibe wasn’t what I liked in a man, I could certainly understand why some women would be all over him. “I don’t know, Erin. They were very nice,” I teased as I pretended to play coy. “Nice my ass,” Josie butted in. “I saw that Cassian March one time at a hospital benefit Sebastian and I attended last year. The man oozes incredible fuck. I swear if I hadn’t been in a relationship, I would have made my move on him. I bet he gets freaky when that Italian made suit comes off.” “I remember seeing his younger brother one night at the club,” Erin added. “No suit for him, but I can tell you that man can definitely fill out a shirt. He was wearing this button down look that fit so perfectly I swear he had it painted on. I like my men more muscular than Josie here, so he’s my kind.” “His name is Stefan,” I said, liking that I could at least feel like I knew them in a different way than Erin and Josie. “He’s really sweet.” “You like him! I see it in your eyes, Liv. Tell us everything that happened!” Erin squealed. I stood from my seat to head into the kitchen for another glass of wine and to escape the probing stares of my two best friends. The non-disclosure agreement I’d signed just hours before weighed heavily on my mind already. I knew it probably wouldn’t have violated anything if I told them about meeting all three brothers, but I wasn’t going to be able to keep my cool about Cassian and Stefan if I didn’t get my feelings under control. Gulping down some wine, I took a deep breath and walked back into the living room to find them waiting for me to explain. Sitting down, I balanced my glass on the arm of my favorite chair and shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. I met all three brothers in my interview. I’m going to be Cassian’s assistant, but I had to meet with the other two also. They were nice.” Josie pointed her finger at me and cocked one perfectly shaped dark eyebrow. “You’re holding out on

us, girl. I know. I deal with witnesses all the time who have that same face you have on right now. Spill it or we’ll never let you have any peace.” “Yeah and don’t leave any of the details out,” Erin added. “There’s nothing to tell. I swear. Yes, Cassian is very good looking. Yes, Stefan is funny and hot. The third brother, Kane, is a little scary for my taste, but he’s definitely got a sexy vibe to him too. Other than that, I don’t know what to tell you. No one asked me out or bent me over the desk while the other ones interviewed me. It was just a boring, run-of-the-mill interview. I swear.” Both women had leaned forward in anticipation of hearing all my salacious details, but now they sat back crestfallen with a look of disappointment on their faces. I must have looked like I told the truth because Josie didn’t appear to want to grill me anymore. “I’ve never heard of the third brother, Kane. What’s he do there?” Erin asked, almost as an afterthought. “He’s in charge of the fantasy part of the business,” I explained, suddenly realizing there was something I could tell them that I hadn’t. “Oh, I forgot! I get a free membership to Club X, and that includes the fantasy stuff, not that I’ll ever use it, I imagine.” Josie’s and Erin’s jaws dropped. It was one of the rare moments in our friendship that I, Olivia Lucas, got to shock them instead of them shocking me. It wouldn’t last, but for the time being, I basked in the limelight of being cooler than everyone else in the room. “So what fantasy do you plan to have them fulfill? You know what they say about you quiet types— still waters run deep. And dirty. I know you have some deep, dark desires inside that business suit look you sport,” Josie said with a wink. “Oh, I love this! Liv, you have to do the fantasy thing. It costs a fortune, and you get it for free,” Erin said. “I don’t know, guys. It might not be a good idea if I want to keep my job. You shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. You know, no shitting where you eat.” “You have a scat fantasy?” Erin asked, her eyes huge with shock. I couldn’t help but laugh when Josie elbowed her for being so dumb, splashing wine down the front of her shirt. “No, I don’t want someone to shit on me. Jesus, Erin! What the fuck? I’m boring, remember?” As she grabbed a napkin off the coffee table to blot the wine, she tried her best to explain. “Well, Josie said your kind runs deep and dirty and then you mentioned shitting. I just thought…” “Well, don’t.” “In all seriousness, Liv, they wouldn’t offer you the club’s services if they didn’t expect you to take advantage of them,” Josie said in her legally solemn voice. “I think it might be good for you too.” “Why do I get the feeling you two spend your time pitying me, like I’m some nun or something compared to you guys?” “How many dates have you had since you and Mark broke up?” Josie asked in her interrogator voice, making me feel like any answer I gave would only validate their sad opinion of me. I didn’t want to admit that I’d had just a handful of dates in nearly a year, and only one of them had included any sex whatsoever. And that hadn’t been anything to write home about either. Quietly, I admitted, “A few. You know how it is. When it doesn’t click, there’s no point in going any further.” Josie turned to look at Erin, and they both gave me their best pity faces. “Honey, you’re twenty-seven years old and you spend more time in this apartment alone than any healthy woman should. You’re gorgeous and you could have any man you want. You just choose not to. I know the whole Mark thing was tough, but there are more fish in the sea and you need to put your pole back in the water,” Erin said, her voice full of sympathy.

“I think you have your sexual metaphors mixed up. Seriously, I’m fine, guys.” Shaking her head, Josie frowned at me. “You’re not fine, but I think you might have a good chance at fine if you find some happiness at this new job and take the chance on their fantasy services.” “I don’t know,” I said, lying. I knew all too well I didn’t want to get involved in any fantasy business at Club X. Erin tilted her head and smiled. “We’re not saying you have to try to fulfill a fantasy of having sex with an entire soccer team or anything wild like that. Just try something small that feels good. Will you at least consider it?” I was never going to see an end to this conversation if I didn’t agree, so I forced a smile and nodded. “I’ll think about it. Good enough?” “That’s all we’re saying,” Josie answered. “Just keep an open mind, okay?” “I will. And if I ever come up with something I think Club X can make come true for me, I’ll consider it.”

* OPENING THE HEAVY STEEL DOOR to Club X, I paused as my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the club. The place was quiet and deserted, but I suspected the three owners were nearby. Unlike the day before, I took a good look around my new workplace, imagining my best friends having the time of their lives there. The club was really just a large space lined on the side with metal walkways to the upper floors and an enormous bar on the main floor, but I envisioned when it was filled with people and the lights were flashing to the beat of the music it transformed into the place my friends had bragged about. I waited for someone to come out and greet me, but after a few minutes no one had appeared so I decided to investigate a little around the main floor. The bar looked like it was made of glass and seemed to go on forever down the left side of the room. Reaching out, I ran my fingers over the top of it and felt the coolness of glass. Above me, hung from the ceiling, hung frosted curved pendant lights. Behind the bar was more glass in shelves and refrigerator doors. Bottles of red, blue, and even a neon green liquor sat on the shelves that reached what looked like ten feet in the air. Craning my neck, I wondered how the bartenders reached the top shelves and the liquor up there to make drinks. “You came back, so I guess my brothers didn’t scare you off. Good. I bet you’re thinking you can’t imagine how anyone gets to the top shelf stuff, aren’t you?” I lowered my head and saw Stefan standing next to me. Dressed in what I imagined was his usual look, he wore a black Club X T-shirt and jeans and looked incredible. His hair looked tousled, as if someone had been running their hands through it in the heat of passion just moments before. I imagined it was entirely possible that had actually just happened, likely with one of the many women he had in his life. He had a look that said he was rarely alone and liked it that way. “You must be reading my mind. I could barely reach the third shelf, much less those all the way near the ceiling.” He smiled warmly and pointed to a silver button behind the bar. “See that? They’re moveable levels. All the girls have to do is step on them and press the button to reach the highest shelves.” “Cool. They must have great balance,” I joked, picturing women pitching themselves off the levels by mistake. “They have railings to hang onto,” he said with a chuckle. “But I’d never thought of the balance problem before. I have no idea how the girls walk in four inch heels every night, but they do it and without falling.”

I noted immediately how he referred to the bartenders as girls. “Are all the bartenders female?” Stefan leaned his back against the bar and smiled. “Not all of them, but most. There are some male bartenders for the female customers, though.” I couldn’t help but notice how incredible his body was. His muscular arms bulged out from underneath the cotton T-shirt, and I was sure his abs were washboard cut. Trying to act like I wasn’t checking out one of my bosses, I quickly said, “I’m sure if I had to do their job in four inch heels I’d topple over. It would be a big mess.” His gaze traveled the full length of my body down to the floor and then back up again. With a twinkle in his eye, he said, “You’d be fine. We’d take good care of you.” Why was it whenever this man spoke, every word came out the way a man would sound when he was on top of me? As I looked away uneasily, I heard footsteps coming close and turned to see Cassian approaching us, his expression far more serious than his brother’s. “Good morning, Olivia. I see Stefan has already found you. Has he been explaining the workings of the bar?” If Stefan sounded like he was always trying to seduce me, Cassian sounded like he was always working to control himself, especially when Stefan was nearby. “Actually, I was telling her that I think she’d be a perfect bartender. She’d love working under me.” I could have sworn I saw a flash of anger for the merest moment in Cassian’s eyes as he shot Stefan a glance at the mention of me as a bartender. Whatever his look was meant to telegraph, Cassian looked back at me with a smile that soothed the edge still present in his expression. “Let me escort you to your office and we can get started.” An awkward feeling settled in among the three of us, so I said goodbye to Stefan and followed Cassian toward the back of the building. Just as the last time I walked behind him, I couldn’t help but check out the view. He may not have been all muscles like his brothers, but Cassian March certainly did fill out a suit well. I knew it was wrong, but something about how serious he was even as he stood there looking gorgeous was incredibly appealing. Before he caught me checking out his ass, I silently chastised myself for acting like Josie and Erin and made a pledge that I’d be all business, just like he was. He stopped in front of an office right next to his and turned around to face me, his expression back to the serious one he’d worn when we’d talked alone the day before. “This is your office. While it is separate from mine, they both adjoin in a meeting room through the door on the back wall. Feel free to make yourself at home. I have something to take care of, but I’ll be back in a few minutes.” With that, he walked past me out toward the bar and I entered my new office, immediately impressed with how nice it was. No cost had been spared on the furniture or décor. A stunning deep red teakwood desk and black leather office chair sat in front of matching teakwood bookcases and file cabinets. Still modern like Cassian’s desk suite, it felt warmer and far more luxurious. Two coordinating leather upholstered chairs were placed in front of the desk, and on the floor was a cream colored tile just like in his office. It was the nicest office I’d ever had. Taking it all in, I couldn’t help but admit I could get used to this. “I hope you feel comfortable here, Olivia,” Cassian said behind me. Turning to face him, I nodded to show my approval. “It’s gorgeous. Whoever picked out this furniture has great taste.” “I’ll make sure to tell her. I’d have gone for a glass desk like mine, but the designer reminded me that you’d likely prefer something a bit more inviting. I’m glad you like it.”

His face was so cool and emotionless, but something about the way his voice lowered when he said he’d tell the designer how much I liked her taste in furniture made me think there was a lot more to their relationship than simply designer and client. Maybe Mr. All Business wasn’t just that, after all. “We have a large party to get ready for Friday night. Kane has his part under control, but I need you to plan the event that will occur before they head up to the top floor. I realize you don’t have experience in party planning, but not to worry. I’ll walk you through this first event, and then you’ll be fine for future ones. Sound good?” “Sure. I’m ready.” “Great. Let’s get started.”

Chapter Four

Cassian B Y THE END OF HER first day of work, Olivia had settled in to her new position perfectly. A quick thinker, she was everything I wanted in an assistant. That I’d watched Stefan swoop in on her not five minutes after she walked through the door had started my day off pretty fucking rotten, but after that, I’d enjoyed helping her get her bearings while she assisted me with the annual Lady Godivas’ party the local chapter of that not-so-secret sex society held each year at the club. I could have simply repeated what Kate had arranged the year before since the Lady Godivas had raved about the event then, but there was no better time than the present to initiate Olivia into my business. As much as I hated to agree with Stefan, I did benefit from the mixture of business with pleasure. That didn’t mean I had any plans to mix them with Olivia, though. I couldn’t deny that seeing her in my brother’s crosshairs rankled me more than I wanted to admit, however. But I knew from watching him create workplace disasters that whatever thoughts that may have crossed my mind as she and I worked together were something I needed to fight. Still, when she blushed at my mention that the Lady Godivas would likely end up half naked by the end of the night, I couldn’t help but be charmed. How long had it been since anyone had blushed around me? Certainly women like Cheri were long past the time when anything about sex made them nervous or uncomfortable. Watching Olivia’s cheeks pinken charmed me, despite my jaded attitude and insistence that I wasn’t going to allow myself to like her. I left her to finish up the details of the party while I handled a far too curious reporter who obviously hadn’t gotten the memo from her boss that Club X wasn’t a potential story. Young, eager, and too cute for her job with long pale blond hair and big blue eyes, she waited in a red, skintight dress that screamed she knew nothing of professionalism. It did, however, clearly telegraph that she had heard what my club was all about. I found Ciara Danson standing outside my office flirting with Stefan. For once, I didn’t mind him thinking with his cock. In fact, I wondered if I should let him handle her inquisitiveness, but knowing my younger brother, he’d have her flat on her back on his desk in mere minutes and then we’d have not only unwanted publicity but another lawsuit on our hands. Stepping between them, I eased her away from him and closed the door behind us. “Please take a seat, Miss Danson.” She sat down in a chair in front of my desk, letting her dress ride up on her legs until she was flashing me the tops of her thighs. Subtlety obviously wasn’t Ciara’s style. Opening her blue eyes wide, she lowered her head and looked across the desk at me. “Please, Mr. March, call me Ciara.” “And please call me Cassian. I hear you’re interested in our little club. I wish there was a story, but I’m sure Gary told you we’re just your basic nightclub here at Club X.” Ciara leaned forward to show me far more of her breasts than I wanted to see at that moment. “Cassian, I may look naïve, but this isn’t my first reporting job. You know as well as I do that Club X isn’t just your basic nightclub, as you say, even if my boss agrees with you. I was hoping to get an in-depth look at behind the scenes, if you will, and I can’t imagine anyone better equipped to do that than you. My

readers at All The Rage would love to know all about you and your club.” Equipped. Hmmm… I couldn’t decide if Ciara was offering to fuck me right there on my desk or really wanted to know more about the club. She wasn’t my type—too eager for me—and I had no interest in giving her any in-depth information about the club, but she wasn’t going to be put off easily. As I began to explain once again that there was no story here, Olivia knocked on the door and walked in. Her eyes opened wide at the sight of Ciara’s less than subtle body language, and she quickly turned to leave, but before she could Ciara began with the questions. “Perhaps if I could speak to your assistant, Cassian, she could help me.” Olivia immediately begged off and I shouldn’t have put her in the position to deal with a reporter so soon, but I wanted to know how she’d handle it. If she was going to be a part of Club X, she’d have to learn how to master dealing with the press sooner than later, and if she failed now, at least I’d know and could begin looking for her replacement. I stood from my chair and motioned for Olivia to take my place behind my desk. “Olivia, this is Ciara. She’s from the website All The Rage and has a few questions about Club X. I’m going to let you talk to her.” Olivia looked shell-shocked but sat down and put on her prettiest smile for the young woman in front of her. As I walked toward the door, she said in professional voice, “I’m more than happy to help you, Ciara.” Closing the door, I listened as Olivia handled her like a pro. As I stood there, Stefan walked toward me with a confused look on his face. “What are you doing out here? I thought you were talking to that smokin’ hot reporter.” “Quiet,” I whispered. “Olivia’s in there now with her. I’m listening to hear how she does.” “Trial by fire, huh? You must think a lot of her to let her run interference so soon.” “No time like the present. If she can’t deal with Ciara, then she’s no good to me.” “How the hell do you see only the glorified secretary you want her to be? You won’t let me have her, but you won’t make a move on her. What the fuck is that about?” Sighing in frustration, I tried to hear Olivia but all I heard was Stefan. “That’s being professional. You should try it sometime. Now go and let me hear how this turns out.” “Fine, but I’m telling you, you’re missing out on this one. There’s fire beneath that cool thing she’s got going on. I’d bet money on it.” Stefan was the last person I wanted dating advice from, so I waved him away and returned to listening to Olivia double-talking Ciara right out of a story. For every question she asked, Olivia had an answer that at first sounded like she’d given some tidbit of information, but quickly turned into nothing. She denied the truth of the club as well as any one of us would have, and I knew at that moment I hadn’t made a mistake in hiring her. I stepped back when the door flew open and Ciara stormed out, obviously unhappy about being so expertly handled. As I entered my office, Olivia stood behind my desk, her arms folded across her chest. “Thank you, Olivia. I think you took care of that very well.” “Cash, I don’t mind acting the part of the company woman, but next time could you please give me a little warning? Or was that the point—to put me on the spot and see how I would do?” She was smart. Good. I needed that in the person who was to be my right hand. “You might say it was a test, but if it makes you feel any better, you passed with flying colors.” Stepping around the desk, she walked toward the door, stopping inches away from me. With a direct stare, she shook her head and smiled. “I’ve always been a good test taker. I think you’ll find that I’m just as good an assistant as you need me to be. However, if you feel the need to test me more, just know I’m up

to it.” She was all business, but damnit if at that moment I didn’t want to see if there was another side to her. Staring into her brown eyes, I impulsively said, “I think as a reward, you should join us for the Lady Godivas party. It would be good exposure to what the club is really all about.” Olivia gave me a smile that seemed just a bit forced, as if my offer had caught her off guard, but she quickly recovered and agreed to join my brothers and me at the party. I just wondered how she’d handle how wild those women got when they had a few drinks in them.

* IN THE DAYS LEADING UP to the party, we worked side-by-side and my professional admiration for her grew by leaps and bounds. I’d underestimated Olivia from the moment I’d read her resume, mainly because of who had referred her. Jake Richfield hadn’t shown himself to be someone whose opinion I’d normally rely on. Every time I’d seen him at the club, he’d had a different woman on his arm, each one cheaper than the last. Not that being a player was a problem for me. I didn’t care who he fucked or how many females fell for his lines. But there was something cheap about him that never sat right with me. Maybe it was that black department store watch he liked to flash around like it was a fucking Rolex. Stefan liked him, though, which didn’t help his case any in my mind. Nevertheless, I’d been desperate for an assistant after Kate left, and when Richfield mentioned that he had a friend who he was sure would be perfect for the job, I’d reluctantly agreed to check her out. Pretty good on paper, Olivia’s real worth became clear when I saw her on the job. It didn’t take long for me to realize that she’d work out even better than Kate had. And unlike with my previous assistants, I began to want to know more about this woman who seemed all business but who’d caught the eye of not only one but two players in my club. I didn’t want to let Stefan know how interested I was in Olivia, but his comments about her and Jake Richfield led me to believe she was just friends with him. As for my brother, I didn’t have to wonder what he thought about the woman I spent my days with. Every leer and nasty remark about how he wanted to get into her pants told me loud and clear. He bordered on sexual harassment on most days, but with her, I couldn’t decide whether she should sue us or crack him across the face. Or if I should. At nine-thirty I found her behind her desk taking care of last minute details for the party. Stefan had received the guest list and Kane had the list of who wanted what fantasies that night. She’d handled everything with aplomb, so barring any drunken madness by the Godiva women, the night would be a good opportunity for Olivia to see the inner workings of Club X. Still in her work clothes, she stood from her seat and straightened her black suit coat and skirt. Compared to the rest of that night’s partygoers, she and I would look like the adult chaperones at a junior high school dance. We weren’t there for fun, though. Tonight was as much work as anything we did during the day. “Remember what I told you about these women? Just keep that in mind and you’ll be fine.” “Cash, I’m not a nun. I swear I must be giving off the wrong vibe. First my friends are sure I’m the most boring person they’ve ever met, and now you’re worried that some ladies getting freaky might make me faint. Trust me. I may not look it, but I’m actually capable of having fun.” There weren’t more than a handful of people who could talk to me like that and get away with it, but Olivia had a way about her that made me overlook things I wouldn’t in other people. “I was just trying to prepare you. You’ve never been here at night. Club X looks entirely different in the dark.”

With a sly grin, she said, “Well, this sheltered girl who doesn’t get out enough, according to everyone who knows me, is looking forward to seeing this place when the lights go down.” For a moment I studied her, seeing for the first time a sexiness I liked. “Okay. Let’s go then.” I led her out onto the floor and checked with Stefan to see if all the Lady Godivas had arrived. “Are the ladies all here?” “All good.” Looking at Olivia, he smiled his best frat boy grin. “Hey you! It’s about time you joined us out here. Ready to experience the hottest club in town?” “I am,” she answered with a chuckle. “I can’t wait to see these women. We aren’t talking naked women in long blonde wigs on horseback, are we?” “No animals tonight, as far as I know. Kane would have mentioned a Catherine the Great,” Stefan joked with a wink. I hated how easily he drew out her fun side. With almost no effort, he had her giggling and joking around. I’d spent hours with her each day, and not once had I seen the smile she gave him or the sparkle in her eye she got when he spoke to her. It went against every principle I believed in, but after only a few days, I wanted to see her like she was with Stefan when only I was around. I wanted to bring out her playful sexy side. “You two planning on hanging out down here, or are you going to head up to the top floors and catch the action?” “I think we’ll walk around down here for a while and then head upstairs. I want Olivia to get the full experience.” “Oooh, the full experience? Brace yourself, Olivia. My brother rarely spends any time out here once the action starts, so if he wants to show off the full experience, he must have something in mind.” Stefan was as subtle as a Sherman tank, and I looked over at Olivia to see her cheeks blush that cute pink color that was only more accentuated by her red hair. What I had in mind was showing off the club that took up my days and nights. If anything else occurred, though, I couldn’t say I’d be unhappy. I slid my arm around her and gently pressed my hand against the small of her back to guide her away from Stefan before he announced his opinion on what he thought were my favorite sex positions or how nice we looked together. His act may work for him, but I preferred a smoother style when I wanted a woman’s attention. “We’ll see you later, baby brother.” Olivia turned toward me and with a smile said, “I thought there’d be music. Not that it’s quiet in here with people coming in, but I just thought it would be more like clubs I’ve been to.” “It will be. The music starts later. Stefan likes to get our customers a little drunk before he lets them loose on the dance floor. Plus, people tend to have a better time if they can talk first. Then they get relaxed, get drunk, and tend to spend more money.” I led her to a lounge across from the bar beside the dance floor, still nearly dark for now. She sat down next to me on a red couch and angled her body toward me, and in the dim light of the wall sconce above our heads I saw a look of anticipation in her eyes. “Cash, I thought the rooms upstairs were booked months in advance.” “They are.” “Then how do people spend more money here? You don’t serve food, so the only items to buy are drinks and the fantasy rooms.” “Ah, I see your confusion. People hear about the rooms and other members’ experiences and after a few drinks, they want to pay to have one of those experiences for themselves. The rooms may be booked solid, but at that moment when they’re drunk and having a good time, they’ll pay to reserve a room months

later.” “Clever. You March brothers are quite the businessmen.” A few people passed by and sat down nearby on another sofa. Leaning in so they couldn’t hear our conversation, I revealed the truth of my family’s past. “Only Stefan and I are Marchs. Kane is our halfbrother. We have the same fathers but different mothers.” “You and Kane seem close in age. I’m guessing it wasn’t a case of a child by a second marriage since Stefan is younger than you two.” She hadn’t said anything wrong, but I was surprised for a moment by her deduction. My hesitation in confirming her guess came across as being offended, and she quickly reached her hand out to touch my arm in a sympathetic gesture. That look of anticipation that had been in her eyes just moments before was gone, replaced by worry that she’d overstepped the line of propriety with her boss just weeks into a new job. “I’m sorry. That was rude. I didn’t mean to pry. Really, I didn’t.” The feel of her touch on my sleeve made a rush of heat race up my arm. Shaking my head, I said, “It’s okay. You weren’t being rude at all. You’re right. My father had an affair with Kane’s mother right around the time he and my mother found out they were pregnant with me. So Kane is just three months younger than I am. Stefan is two years younger than us, even though he acts like he’s more like ten.” “He’s just more lighthearted than you, and especially Kane,” she said with a smile, obviously relieved she hadn’t committed a misstep. “Younger siblings get to do that.” “I guess. I just wish he’d act something close to his age sometimes.” “I think he relies on you for that.” Her delicate way of saying that I was the serious brother only reinforced what I suspected she thought of me—Stefan was the fun-loving one, and I was the somber one. Ordinarily, I didn’t mind that. This was who I was in public. I wore my straight man role comfortably and left the frat boy antics to Stefan, who wore them like a second skin. Now, though, I wanted Olivia to like me as she did him, but I couldn’t change who I was. If she wanted someone like Stefan, she wouldn’t want me. I looked down at my watch and saw it was nearly eleven o’clock. The lights dimmed until the room was pitch black, and with the first beats of the bass from the DJ, the club exploded in light and sound. The glass bar and shelves behind it glowed in shades of neon blue and green lights, and the electronic light show lit up the dance floor, encouraging the Lady Godivas to begin their partying. Olivia’s mouth hung open as she watched the dance floor fill with women well on their way to having the night of their lives and the half-naked men they’d brought with them. The Lady Godivas never left their good time to chance, so they always chose us to host their parties and always made sure they had more than enough men for whatever their members desired. Leaning close to her, I said in her ear, “Let’s go to the second floor. The sound isn’t as loud up there.” As the women and their guests gyrated across the dance floor, I took Olivia’s hand in mine and led her up the metal stairs to a secluded area above the action. The acoustics of the building created a pocket where we could watch the party and still be able to hear one another speak. We sat down on a black leather couch as the party kicked into high gear, neither one of us speaking for a long time as Olivia stared down at the crowd below. It didn’t take long for the women to begin shedding their clothes and soon the only people fully clothed were Club X workers and Olivia and me. “I didn’t realize this kind of thing happened down there in the club. I thought…” Her sentence trailed off and she returned to watching the action on the dance floor. I tried to conceal my disappointment, but it was likely written all over my face. I’d hoped the reality

of my business wouldn’t chase her away, both from being my assistant and anything else we might be in the future. “If this isn’t something you’re comfortable with, Olivia, it’s better we find out now before either one of us gets too used to working with one another. I understand.” Her eyes grew wide, and she smiled as she shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m not uncomfortable. I want to see more of what happens here. Don’t worry about me. I’m far more fun than I look.” I nodded, wanting to believe she could handle Club X—that she could handle the life I led.

Chapter Five

Olivia I WASN’T BEING ENTIRELY HONEST with Cash when I said I wasn’t uncomfortable with what was going on one floor below us. Maybe if I was there with Erin and Josie watching half-naked men thrusting and pumping into a bunch of drunken women I would have been into it, but sitting there with Cash made the scene in front of us even more erotic than it already was. I sensed his gaze on me as I pretended to be engrossed in the action, watching me instead of the Lady Godivas. The brief touch of his leg against mine, his suit coat lightly skimming my arm heightened the electricity in the air, making paying attention to anything but him impossible. He appeared so at home there in the middle of all this debauchery, like he’d lived this life forever, despite how serious he looked each day as we worked together. That man who was all business had vanished leaving one far more sensual in his place. Maybe it was the music and lights, or maybe it was the near sex show unfolding just one floor away, but that tiny spark that had flickered inside me since meeting Cash now grew into a flame of desire that threatened to consume me. He leaned in and said, “Why didn’t you ever try to become a member here, Olivia?” I turned my head slightly and felt his lips brush against the shell of my ear. “What do you mean?” “Your friends are members. Why didn’t you ever apply to be a member?” he asked in a deep voice that made me want to close my eyes and simply enjoy the tenor of it against my skin. His question took me back to that night Jake had offered to bring me to this very place and why I’d said no. It wasn’t that I was frightened of what Club X may have been. The truth was far more mundane. “I was too busy trying to climb the corporate ladder. While everyone else was having fun, I was working thirteen hour days just to be sent on my way after a few years.” Cash said nothing in response, even as I waited for him to speak, so I turned my head and saw him smiling at me. “I hear in your voice that you’re ashamed of what you just said. Don’t be. An intelligent woman like you should never be ashamed of wanting to succeed. Leave the partying to those people who don’t have a world to conquer.” I felt my cheeks grow hot as I stared back at his piercing blue eyes full of admiration. I’d never met a man who spoke about work like he did yet looked so incredibly sexy. At that moment, there wasn’t a thought in my head about the corporate ladder or anything else but how much I loved the way he looked at me just then. The music stopped and Stefan’s voice over the loudspeaker interrupted our moment with the announcement that tonight was all about the Lady Godivas. The crowd below erupted into cheers and catcalls as he promised a party to end all parties. Cash’s expression hardened, and he turned his head away from me. When the music began again just moments later, whatever had been between us had disappeared, leaving us as boss and assistant once again. But I didn’t want to be merely that anymore. I wanted to look into those eyes and see desire instead of last year’s numbers and next year’s projections. Each moment his gaze stayed away from me another chance to get to know him slipped away. My mind spun with how to get him back to where he’d been before Stefan had intruded on us. I didn’t know him well enough to make small talk, but I wanted to say something.

Anything to bring back the man who’d shown himself for that brief moment tonight. Unsure I should mention the top floor, I leaned toward him and blurted out, “I’d love to see the rest of the club. Can you give me a tour?” If the music hadn’t been so loud, the pounding of my heart would have been thundering in my ears as I waited for his response. The idea of seeing a fantasy room was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. My curiosity had been piqued the moment Cash mentioned the fantasy area of the club, and even if Kane’s part in it was a little daunting, I still couldn’t help myself from wanting to know more about it. Cash turned back to look at me, surprised by my suggestion. “You want to see the rest of the club?” Nodding, I smiled, hoping to see that man from just a few moments ago return. “Sure. I wouldn’t be much of an assistant if I didn’t know all about it, although not knowing gives me plausible deniability just in case any more reporters come sniffing around. It’s not technically lying if I don’t know.” A slow smile spread across his mouth. “I like that. Okay, let’s go visit the other parts of the club.” He stood and held out his hand. Looking up at him, I placed my hand in his palm and felt my stomach flutter when he closed his fingers it. His touch was light even though his hand was strong. I didn’t know how I knew it, but whatever this was, it wasn’t about a simple tour around a business. We walked up the stairs past the third and fourth floors that seemed to function as private areas for club patrons to enjoy drinks and conversation outside the fantasy rooms. The sound of the music still filtered up to those floors, but it was far quieter than on the first two. Each step we took hand in hand toward the top floor and those fantasy rooms was another step toward something new and exciting. I wanted to see more of Cash and more of the business he owned. As we stepped onto the stairs that would take us to the top floor, I wondered if he visited this part of Club X much. He hadn’t seemed to be someone who would before, but now I could envision him making his fantasies come true in one of those rooms I’d only imagined until this moment. Thinking about it made me jealous. It was irrational and silly, but I felt jealous. Would I see a room he always used or did he have a private room all to himself? Had he led many women up these very stairs to that room? Silently, I chastised myself for being so stupid. What did it matter if he did? As a grown man who owned a club dedicated to making fantasies come true, of course he’d been to this floor and lived out many fantasies. My mental tug of war made me pull my hand away as we reached the last step, and Cash turned his head to find my hand again. With a smile, he took it and looked up at me. “We’re almost there. You ready?” His voice was deep, but it held a hint of mystery in it, like he wasn’t sure what lay ahead for us. I simply smiled and followed him, preparing myself for Kane’s part of Club X. The ruler of this fantasy kingdom stood with his arms crossed leaning against a far wall. Taller and more imposing than Cash, he looked like he belonged here, like being downstairs would have been wrong for someone like him. The noise from below barely made it to this top floor, and the muffled sound of the music seemed so far away now. The look of this area of the club was different too. No neon lights flashed here. Instead, dim sconces lit the way. We stopped in front of Kane, who seemed surprised to see us there, and Cash gave him a quick nod. “Everything good?” Kane nodded in return and gave us a small smile. “Get sick of the madness downstairs?” I had the feeling he was speaking to Cash more than me. Cash chuckled. “I’m going to show Olivia the floor. I’m assuming most of the rooms are still empty.” “For now, yeah,” Kane said in his usual raspy voice as he pointed toward the far end of the floor. “I have one room at the end busy now, though.”

“Okay, we’ll stay away from that one.” Kane narrowed his eyes and grinned. “They like to be watched, so feel free. And there’s always the dancers, if you like.” I couldn’t imagine where any dancers could be on this floor. The entire area seemed more like a suite of offices than a nightclub. As Cash led me away, my curiosity got the best of me. “What dancers? Where are they?” “Kane handles this floor, which includes dancers in booths connected to each room.” “Like a strip club?” “Not exactly. More like a private show for each room.” “Can I see?” The words tumbled out of my mouth, and I didn’t care that I sounded almost childish in my enthusiasm. “Absolutely.” Cash continued walking and stopped at a door. With a smile, he said, “I guess you’ve decided against plausible deniability.” “I’ve always been a fan of knowledge over ignorance, so yes, I’m afraid from now on I’ll have to actually lie about everything here.” “That’s the spirit.” The sexy smile slid from his face, and he winked at me. “Time for your education, Olivia.” A sparkle in his eye unnerved me for a moment, but I was ready. I wanted to see everything here. He opened the second to last door and escorted me in. It was dimly lit, even darker than outside the room, but I saw a couch and coffee table like would be found in a hotel living room. Was this it? It all looked very run-of-the-mill. “Take a seat and I’ll show you what happens when someone reserves a room like this one.” I continued to look around at the beige walls and average looking furniture as I sat down and waited for Cash to begin explaining how everything on this floor worked. Instead, he dimmed the lights even more and sat down beside me. The air crackled with excitement as the moments ticked by, but still he remained silent. Turning toward him, I studied him as he sat with his arms spread across the back of the sofa and his legs open, the picture of confidence. This Cash was everything Josie claimed he was—sexy and sensual. And entirely fuckable. As every erotic thought I could think of ran through my mind, I could have sworn the room began to close in around me. My heart pounded against my ribs, and the feel of his muscular thigh pressing against the outside of my leg made me want to know what the rest of him would feel like against me. I struggled to form a coherent sentence, already nearly overwhelmed by this place, but thankfully he rescued me from my embarrassment. With a sexy grin, he said, “Olivia, meet the dancers.” His gaze traveled to the wall across from where we sat, and I watched as it raised to reveal a window. A soft white light slowly illuminated the space behind the glass, washing over the female who stood there looking out at us. Tall, blonde, and gorgeous, she wore a skin-tight black dress that highlighted every perfect curve of her body. I suddenly felt like one of the ugly stepsisters watching Cinderella step out onto the dance floor. Cash appeared unmoved by her, though. Soft music filled the room, and just as I braced myself to watch some gorgeous woman strip right in front of us, a man appeared behind her, his hands cupping her shoulders sensually as he trailed his lips up her neck to nip at her earlobe. Was I about to see a sex show sitting right next to my new boss, a man I suddenly wanted more than I should? My breath caught in my chest as the scene in front of me made taking any air in difficult. Jesus, I was as uptight as all my friends thought! They’d be conducting their own sex show with Cash right now, but all

I did was sit there nervously watching for what would come next. Turning to face me, he said in a low voice thick with sensuality, “Olivia, they’ll do as much or as little as we want. What do you want?” Cash’s voice caressed my ears like silk gliding over my skin. What did I want? At that moment, I wanted him. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did. I wanted him to kiss me like that man was kissing the gorgeous blonde—like I was the only woman he ever wanted. I wanted to feel his hands sliding over my body as he held me tight to him. I wanted to hear him moan as his desire for me made his cock ache with need. But I was too timid to tell him any of this, so I mumbled, “I…I don’t know.” God, I really was lame. He stared at me, not with disgust like I felt for myself but with curiosity in his eyes, making me wish I was whatever he thought I was. Without looking away, he waved his hand, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the man slide the thin strap from the woman’s shoulder before he dipped his head to press a kiss onto the top of her breast. I didn’t know where to look—at Cash or at the erotic scene playing out just feet away from me. “Olivia, this is what Club X is. I need to know you’re okay with this. I need to know this is something you’d protect for my brothers and…for me.” His blue eyes bored into me searching for the answer. All I could do was nod my agreement. This was so new and exciting that I had no words. I wanted to be the kind of woman he’d bring to a room like this. The kind of woman who excited him as much as he excited me. With a sharp wave of his hand, the two dancers stopped their seduction and the lights dimmed to darkness behind the window. Had he misinterpreted my silence to mean I wouldn’t protect him and Club X? Nervously, I asked, “Is something wrong? Why did you send them away?” A genuine smile spread across his lips. “I had the feeling they were making you uncomfortable.” He did think I was some pathetic prude. “No, no. I was fine. I didn’t mean to act like I had a problem with watching them. It was fine.” I wasn’t very convincing. Cash just shook his head and continued to smile. “It’s okay. It’s not everyone’s thing.” He did think I was a prude. I turned my body to face him and reached out to touch his arm. “No, I don’t want you to think I can’t handle what happens here at the club. I wanted to see everything tonight. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.” “I believe you, Olivia. Don’t worry. Your job isn’t in danger because of tonight.” A feeling of relief washed over me. At least the display of my inhibitions hadn’t caused him to reconsider hiring me. That was important, but that he saw me as some kind of sheltered, uptight woman bothered me. Men like Cash March didn’t want someone like that. Someone like me. He stood to leave and I followed him, past Kane who stood near the stairs and down to where Stefan watched the crowd of Godivas debauch the men who escorted them. They spoke about something I couldn’t hear and Cash turned to me with a smile. “Enjoy yourself tonight. I’m going to head back into the office. If you need anything, come find me.” Then he walked away, leaving me standing there wanting to say, “Don’t go. Stay here and let’s get to know each other.” Instead, I just watched as he weaved through the crowd and vanished behind a group of Godivas. All around me were people having the time of their lives, the beat of the music pounding through the club like the rhythm of everyone’s heart as they grinded against one another, and I felt like some kind of middle school dance chaperone. Josie and even Erin would have walked right back to that office and showed him

exactly what they needed from him, but I couldn’t. I stood planted in that spot next to the wall as if my feet were trapped in concrete. “Having a good time?” I looked up to see Stefan standing next to me looking every bit the player he always did. At least he didn’t think I was some inhibited school marm. “It’s great,” I said, hoping he didn’t see right through my playacting. “What do you think of these women? Wild, huh?” “They look like they’re having a good time. Can’t blame them for that.” Stefan chuckled. “Just wait until they go upstairs. Kane and his men will have their hands full.” I let my mind travel to the thought of all these Lady Godivas living out their wildest fantasies upstairs in Kane’s realm, and a twinge of jealousy nipped at me. I wished I could be like them. They seemed so free and happy. I wanted to be like that. “From what I’ve seen, Kane can handle himself.” Nodding, Stefan gave me a wink. “We all can handle ourselves, each in our own way. You’ll see that after you’re here a while.” Pressing a smile onto my lips, I wondered what way Cash handled himself. As I stood there fantasizing about him handling me, his brother touched my shoulder. “I bet you’re not as serious as you seem, Olivia.” A line of Godivas danced by us with their boy-toys, and I looked up at Stefan to see him grinning like a kid in a candy store about to binge on sugar. “Maybe I am. Somebody’s got to be serious, right?” He leaned down until his mouth was right next to my ear. As his lips grazed the side of my face, he said in low voice, “That’s what Cash is always saying. Maybe one of you should try being less serious. Just a thought.” And with that he left me standing there watching as he and the rest of the Godivas and their men danced up the stairs to the fantasy rooms. I looked around at the bartenders and a few customers who already were too drunk to enjoy the offerings on the floors above and knew something had to change. I had to change or I’d forever be boring Olivia standing by as the world marched by me.

Chapter Six

Cassian K ANE STROLLED INTO MY OFFICE and took a seat in front of my desk. My half-brother rarely stopped in to see me, so I put my work aside and looked to see him wearing an uncommon grin as he sat leaning back, his right leg draped over the arm of the chair. “Something on your mind, Kane?” “Maybe. You look like you have something eating at you. Perhaps they’re the same thing.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I sat back in my chair. I’d just returned from a meeting with our accountant Mitch, who had once again reminded me of the financial ramifications of Stefan’s constant need to fuck the women under him. Literally. Obviously, my frustration with my little brother was written all over my face. “I just got back from the accountant’s. Do you know what percentage of our income is now devoted to legal fees courtesy of Stefan?” Kane shook his head. “You know I don’t get involved with that part of the business. I leave that misery to you.” His dry humor wasn’t helping me get into a better mood. “I’d willingly trade you my misery for your duties upstairs.” With a deep chuckle, Kane gave me a grin. “They’re not your style. You’d be surprised at how dirty I have to get up there. You’re not the strong-arm type, Cash.” “Don’t tell me any more. I don’t want to deal with the legal issues you cause too.” He laced his hands behind his head. “No legal issues from me. I know how to hide my dirt.” “Nice. Well, the answer to my question is nearly twelve percent. I’ll tell you, I’m pretty fucking sick of paying for his sex antics.” “Stop him then.” Another deep sigh. “That’s easier said than done. Each of us is an equal partner here. I can’t just lay the big brother smackdown on him. I also can’t trade places with him since I’m pretty sure he’d run our business into the ground. And I don’t think asking you to trade places with him would work. It wouldn’t be open season on bartenders, but I can only imagine what trouble he’d get into in your area.” Kane nodded his agreement. “Good point. My people need a strong hand to guide them. Letting him loose up there would be like letting a fat kid loose in a bakery. Hell, he’s already tried to hit on a few of the dancers. If I hadn’t made it clear to them they’d lose their jobs if I caught them anywhere near him, he’d have been all over them. Stefan’s a lot more like our father than we are.” “Stefan’s a fucking man whore. Our father was never this bad. If he had been, we’d have dozens of brothers and sisters out there.” “Let’s hope we don’t,” Kane said in a low voice, sending a chill down my spine. God, I hoped we didn’t have any long lost siblings out there. “I don’t think you came down to talk about our brother’s inability to keep his dick in his pants, so what’s up?” I truly hoped Kane had something that would make my day better and not worse. “I got an interesting request recently.” Kane infrequently bothered to give me the details of his part of the club, usually only when a member

reserved a room for something wilder or more bizarre than what he was used to. I settled in to listen to his story, happy for a reprieve from my problems with my other brother. “Do tell. I can use a good freak show story, as long as this isn’t going to involve the cops or more lawyers.” “Nope, this one won’t get us into any trouble at all.” “Then hit me with it. Just tell me, is it better than the guy who wanted Siamese twins? That was fucked up.” Kane gave me one of his rare laughs before his expression turned more serious. “Yeah, Sheerer likes the weird stuff. I can’t tell you how fucking hard it is to find Siamese twins willing to hang out with a guy like that. That put a dent in my budget that quarter. Thank God he’s a platinum member. And I don’t even want to imagine how much it would have cost if he wanted them to fuck him instead of just sit with him. No, this one involves your assistant.” In that moment, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. “Olivia?” “Yeah. You gave her a membership, so she wants to use it.” “What did she request?” I asked, my curiosity piqued more than I thought it could be concerning Kane’s area. “She wants a room and she wants to…how did she put it? Experience being out of control. It’s just a basic level request. Nothing big.” “Out of control?” I repeated, stunned that my relatively proper assistant had even requested a room upstairs. “Yep. It’s no Siamese twins gig, but I thought you’d find it interesting.” I found it more than interesting. The idea of Olivia even approaching Kane with a request like this surprised me. After giving her the tour of the fantasy rooms, I’d felt like something had changed between us. We’d been getting to know one another and then within a few days, she was all business, as if finding out what the club was really about had changed her opinion of me. “Did she ask for anything specific?” I asked, trying not to appear too interested. “No. She didn’t seem to understand how it all works. She filled out the request form, but she didn’t include any details about exactly what she wants. I had the feeling she was a little shy about it all.” I input my password into my laptop and brought up my calendar. Typing in meaningless comments on a few random dates, I worked to look nonchalant. “So what do you plan to give her?” Kane slid his leg to the floor and crossed his arms across his chest. “I have nothing planned as of yet. She reserved this Friday, so I have three days to figure it out. Any suggestions?” He wasn’t buying my disinterested act. When the hell did I become so goddamned transparent? “I have no idea. I don’t get involved in your domain, remember?” “I just thought you might want to be a part of this.” Obviously, I hadn’t been as slick as I thought I’d been about how much I liked Olivia. I didn’t want to see her get in over her head upstairs. “Take it easy on her, Kane. She’s a nice girl. I don’t know exactly what she’s looking for, but don’t go overboard and scare her off. I like working with her.” Kane’s smirk told me he saw right through my cool attitude. “No problem, Cash. Maybe I’ll hook her up with Samson. The ladies like him.” Samson looked everything his name implied. Giant with muscles and long blond hair, he was requested more than any other of Kane’s performers. The Godivas had kept him busy for hours at their party, and he’d left with enough tips to fill a bank bag. Kane knew all this too. Nothing like a little brotherly ass busting. “Samson sounds fine, Kane. He’s experienced,” I bit out, struggling to keep my cool. “Yeah. He’ll treat her right. Don’t worry. I think she just wants to loosen up a little. Nobody knows

how to loosen a woman up better than Samson.” Fuck. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the very idea of that Fabio type doing his phony seduction routine with Olivia made my stomach turn. And my half-brother’s thinly veiled reference to Samson loosening anything on Olivia got under my skin. Kane had called my bluff, so I had no choice. I had to show my hand. “I don’t think Samson is the man for the job. He might be a bit much. Olivia doesn’t need that.” Kane raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You know what she needs?” “She doesn’t need your resident fucking gigolo, Kane. All she wants is a taste of our world, not enough to choke on as she tries to swallow.” Another rare smile brightened up his face. “Well, then what do you want me to give her? Are you thinking you want me to do it? You don’t have to worry about that non-fraternizing clause. I’m not like Stefan.” The thought of him taking care of loosening up Olivia was barely better than Samson. My half-brother had a penchant for the rougher side of things, if his choice in piercings and the rumors I’d heard were any indication of his preferences. I couldn’t imagine him having the patience needed to take care of a woman like Olivia. She didn’t need Samson’s heavy seduction or Kane’s rough style. A woman like her deserved something more sensual, something I doubted neither Kane nor Samson excelled at. I typed Olivia’s name into my calendar for Friday night. “I think that might be unnecessary. Leave this to me. I’ll take care of it. You said she reserved Friday night, right? Just make sure I know the time and what room you give her.” “I’m surprised, Cash. You never bothered to get involved when Kate took advantage of the fantasy rooms.” Looking up from my laptop’s screen, I said, “Olivia isn’t Kate.” Kane smirked. “No doubt. Kate knew how to have a good time. That’s why her husband made her quit this job with you. From what I hear, he thought you were fucking her. I don’t think you were, but I can tell you that girl knew how to party. Olivia, on the other hand, could very well be a virgin for all I know.” Kane’s gossiping about my former assistant amused me. He said so little that when he did say something like that I couldn’t help but imagine him like some Peeping Tom on the upper floors spying on our patrons as they lived out their fantasies. Maybe that strong, silent thing he had going on was all an act. “I had no idea you knew so much about my assistants, Kane.” Leaning forward, he tapped his knuckles on the top of my desk. “Just takes a little paying attention. Kate was a good time. I liked her. As for Olivia, I get the feeling she’s a bit more uptight. It’ll be interesting to see how this all goes.” Closing my laptop, I shook my head. “I don’t want her to feel like she’s doing anything wrong, so don’t say anything to Stefan so she gets scared off.” “Not a word, Cash,” Kane said as he stood to leave. “I’ll put her in one of the smaller rooms on the top floor so you two can have all the privacy you need.” He turned to leave, but I stopped him. “One more thing, Kane. Make sure you make it early, around midnight, and make sure she wears a blindfold.” Kane said nothing, but the look on his face showed I’d piqued his interest. I had no intention of explaining what I planned for Olivia, though. That was between her and me now. And then just as my day was looking up, in walked another dose of misery for me to deal with. Looking up at Kane as the two met at the door, one of Tampa’s VICE squad, John Sheridan—or as we called him when he wasn’t around, Shank—had a look on his face that told me anything I’d been worrying about with Stefan would be child’s play compared to what he wanted to discuss.

“Kane, how you doing these days?” Shank asked as they shook hands, the question meant to be a thinly veiled reference to my half-brother’s past run-ins with the law. “Same as always.” Looking over the policeman’s head, Kane shot me a look of disgust. “Don’t worry, Cash. I’ll take care of things.” “John, what can I do for you?” I asked as he sat down in front of me and smiled that greedy, cop smile he always gave me. “Just my usual monthly visit, Cassian. You know how this works.” Reaching into the file cabinet behind me, I grabbed the envelope Shank had come for. I handed it to him, and he slid it into his jacket pocket, as always. “I do, John. You know how thankful we are for your help.” Shank patted his chest where our monthly payment sat inside his coat. “I like working with you, Cassian. You’re a real businessman who understands the way of the world. You’ve got a nice thing going here. I’m happy I can help to keep it nice.” Nice. I’d heard that word from Shank enough to know it meant he wanted something. Something more than the twenty grand we paid him every month to make sure Club X didn’t get shut down. Hesitant to know what he wanted, I leveled my gaze on his pockmarked face and stared into his dark eyes. “What can I do for you?” Expecting him to want something akin to a pound of flesh, I was surprised to hear his next words. “Did you know I have a daughter?” I’d anticipated a different answer, and as worry ebbed from me, I shook my head. “No, I didn’t.” Leaning back in his seat, he smiled and for a moment I thought I saw a proud father in the man who shook me down for protection money every month. “I do. Her name is Lorraine, after her mother, God bless her soul. It was just the two of us after my wife died, so she’s my entire world.” Unsure of what to say since this John Sheridan wasn’t someone as easily hated as the one I usually dealt with, I nodded and mumbled, “That’s nice, John.” “I want you to give her a job here.” And there it was. The pound of flesh. Shank might very well have been the ugliest man I’d ever seen. Greasy, salt and pepper colored hair pushed back from his face allowed the world to see the ravages acne had left on his skin, and eyes like a snake’s didn’t add any good to the overall picture. If his daughter looked anything like him, there was no way she’d be able to be a dancer or a bartender for me. Plus, did I really want some relative of Shank’s getting a bird’s eye view of the inner workings of Club X? But there was no way I could say no. Not if I wanted to keep our arrangement going. “You want your daughter to work here? Things get kind of rough here sometimes. I wouldn’t want her to get hurt.” “I trust you. She’s a good girl, a lot like her mother. She has experience bartending, so just tell Stefan he’s got a new worker.” “Okay, John. No problem. I’m sure it will work out fine for her and us.” He flashed me that old crooked cop grin and stood to leave. “I knew you’d say that, Cassian. She’ll be thrilled. I’ll tell her to come over.” As he left my office, I just hoped she looked a lot like her mother too. If not, maybe I’d have to consider placing a bartender on one of the upper floors in a corner somewhere. But if she looked like Shank, I wouldn’t have to worry about Stefan going after her. At least there was that.

* LEANING BACK AGAINST THE COUCH cushions, I closed my eyes and let Rachel do what she did best. For all

the hassle and unhappiness she’d brought into my life on more occasions than I cared to remember, she did know how to suck cock like a champion. Ordinarily, I’d be enjoying it like I always did, my hand stuffed into her long black hair guiding her, not that she needed any help. We’d done this enough times over the years that she knew exactly how to get me off. There were no mysteries about her, no secrets to uncover. Rachel was what she’d been for years—someone to fuck. No more, no less. Her hands danced over the tops of my thighs, gently raking her long, perfectly manicured nails across my skin before she wrapped her palm around the base of my cock and squeezed. I’d always enjoyed that moment when her hand’s motion let me know she was about to take me into her mouth and deliver a world class blowjob. I’d had every intention of enjoying it tonight, but as I sat there watching her slowly bob up and down in my lap, it just wasn’t there. I was barely there. My hand slid from her head and landed on the couch next to my leg, a not-so-subtle sign I was bored. Rachel may have been self-centered and thoughtless most times in her life, but she wasn’t stupid or blind, and I wasn’t even trying to hide my disinterest. She looked up at me as she slid my cock out of her mouth, those nearly jet black eyes questioning me before the words passed her lips. “What’s wrong with you tonight, baby? Hard day at the club?” “No. I’ve got other things on my mind.” Rachel sat back on her heels, but her hand never left my cock. Stroking it from base to tip and back again, she shook her head. “Poor Cash. Always so worried about everything. Let me guess. Another lawsuit from a disgruntled worker? You need a better screening system there.” I rolled my eyes at the veiled reference to my younger brother’s sexual antics. Of all the people in the world, Rachel was the last one I wanted to discuss Stefan’s indiscriminate fucking with. “No, it has nothing to do with a lawsuit.” Her expression showed me she didn’t care why I was distracted, just that I wasn’t fulfilling my role in the play we acted out at least one night a week. As I looked down at her petulant face, I suddenly felt like I didn’t want to do this with her anymore. It had been nice for a while, but I didn’t want this. “What’s going on, Cassian? Is this about that thing again? I told you he meant nothing.” “No. I don’t care about that.” Her hand stopped its movement against my skin, and as she let my cock loose, it smacked off my stomach. She stared down at it in its still rock hard state, her mouth turning down into a pout. “Then what? You’re killing our good time here, baby.” I ran my hands through my hair while I tried to figure out what was going on with me. It had been a long time since just sex hadn’t been enough, but now as Rachel worked to coax interest out of me with her mouth on the inside of my thigh, I just couldn’t fake it. This wasn’t enough. The truth was that since hearing Kane say Olivia had reserved one of the fantasy rooms I couldn’t think of anything but her. And the thought of one of Kane’s guys taking care of her made me want to hit someone. After working with her for just a short time, I shouldn’t have been jealous at the thought of Samson or even Kane being with her in any way, but I was. I wanted to be the one with Olivia when she finally shed the mask of control, not my half-brother or one of our employees. That she was my assistant didn’t make my desire for her easy, though. I’d religiously stuck to my belief that fraternizing with employees was a mistake none of us could afford to make, and now I was quickly becoming obsessed with the idea of doing just that with her. “Cash, did you hear me?” Rachel asked in a voice full of irritation, shaking me out of my thoughts about Olivia. I pulled up my pants and walked over to the bar for a drink. Pouring myself a glass of whiskey, I

looked out the enormous window at the bay below my condo. The alcohol warmed my throat going down, and I took another swig before turning back toward Rachel now sitting in my spot on the couch. “I think it’s time we admit this isn’t what either of us want, Rachel. We had fun. Most times we did. It’s just run its course.” She stared at me for a long moment before that mouth that had given me so much pleasure in the past hitched up into a knowing smile. “Who is she, Cash? I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re in love with someone. Remember? You used to look that way when we got together.” Turning back to look out the window, I took another drink, holding it in my mouth for a second before letting it slide down my throat. “I’m not in love with anyone. You forget who you’re talking to. I don’t do love. I do sex. Sometimes I do sex exclusively, but I don’t do love.” “Yeah, right, baby. Don’t tell me you weren’t in love with me, Cassian March. I know you better.” I didn’t want to have this discussion with her. She wasn’t wrong. I had loved her. Up until just recently, I’d thought I still loved her, even after she tore my fucking heart out. I’d lied to myself and convinced some part of me that fucking her like I did would show her I didn’t care anymore, but for a long time the spark she ignited in me still burned strong. Not anymore, though. Rachel padded up behind me and slid her arms around my waist. “I loved that look you get in your eyes when you’re in love, Cash. I thought since I saw that look again tonight that you might ask me to come back.” Her words resonated through my body, but they meant nothing anymore. For the first time since we broke up, I didn’t want her. Turning in her hold, I looked down at her beautiful face. “It’s been over for a long time with us. You knew that better than I did.” “You never forgave me, did you? You forgave him, but not me. That’s the truth, isn’t it?” “No. I never forgave him really either. I just don’t have a choice in that.” We stood there silently until I saw in her eyes she understood this was it. “You’ll be fine, Rachel. I imagine you already have a few on the hook besides me.” She ran her hand over my chest until it came to rest over my heart. “She’s a lucky woman this one who’s captured your heart. Any one of the dozens I’ve seen you out with?” Shaking my head, I chuckled. “No. You wouldn’t know her. She’s not like you. She’s not like anyone I’ve ever met.” Rachel laughed. “Really? You’re doing the ‘she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met’ thing with me? I’ve known you since you were just that rich teenage boy with too much freedom and money to blow. I’ve met practically every woman you’ve slept with since we broke up too. I doubt she’s unlike the rest of us, Cash. You like a certain type. I can picture her already. Tall, legs that go on forever, platinum blonde, or she might be the occasional brunette, but only if she has black hair like mine. Am I close?” I shook my head at how wrong she was. “No. Not even close.” “So you’ve decided to fall for a dumpy girl with mousey brown hair? Really, Cash. Is this some kind of thing to show me you can go on without me?” I took the last gulp of whiskey in my glass and pushed past her as she continued with her questions. She wouldn’t get anything more out of me on this. For the first time since I was that teenage boy, I wanted whatever Olivia and I would be to remain private. No parading her in front of cameras for publicity at social events just to promote the club. No telling Rachel about her in some misguided attempt to make her jealous or show her I’d moved on. No showing her off to impress others. No, Olivia was unlike anyone else I’d ever met. Intelligent, confident, and sweet, I wanted to protect her from the life I’d led all these years and the people I’d included in that life. Taking my seat on the

couch again, I said, “Rachel, this has nothing to do with you. We had a good time for a while. Let’s leave it at that.” For a moment, she got a look on her face that made me think she might actually miss me, but then it was gone, replaced by a perfect smile and a roll of her eyes. “As you wish. You know your happiness has always been important to me.” “Thanks, Rachel.” She dressed and grabbed her bag. Walking behind the couch, she leaned over and gave me a kiss just below my ear before she whispered, “Be happy, baby. Maybe we’ll be even better at being friends than we were lovers.” I didn’t answer because I had nothing to say anymore. My mind was already past Rachel and onto Olivia and what would happen Friday night. Whatever the future held, I was about to break my cardinal rule I’d lived by since opening Club X. I just hoped it wasn’t the biggest mistake of my life.

Chapter Seven

Olivia B Y THE TIME FRIDAY CAME, I’d lost five pounds from worrying. The minute I pressed Send on the email to Kane to request a fantasy room I regretted it. I wasn’t that type of woman, even if I’d always wanted to be. I was the timid girl afraid to send a man a drink in a bar even with my friends egging me on. I was the nose-to-the-grindstone bookworm who felt more comfortable around facts and figures than men. But I didn’t want to be that woman anymore. That didn’t mean I should turn into some Lady Godiva wannabe at my workplace. What was I thinking? I had to work with these men, and now they’d think I was some kind of oversexed woman who didn’t have brains enough to shed her inhibitions in private. Even worse, although Cash hadn’t mentioned anything about my request, he’d seemed distant for the last two days. Or maybe it was just my being paranoid. I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t even sure I’d go up to the top floor at midnight like Kane had instructed me to in his email back to me. The sound of the music pounding in the club outside my office made concentrating impossible tonight. Now I knew why I usually preferred to work my eleven to seven schedule, but the truth was I wouldn’t have been able to get much work done even if it was dead silent outside my door. My mind raced with the implications of my decision to follow my friends’ suggestions to let loose and enjoy myself. What if Cash found out? What would he think? Who was I kidding? He already knew. That’s why he’d become colder than Mr. Frosty suddenly. If only Stefan was my boss. He’d understand. The younger March brother wouldn’t pass judgment on me. Hell, he’d probably join me. Instead, I worked for the owner who was all business, even though I’d tried in my own very timid way to let him know I liked him. I stared at my laptop screen, realizing the truth. I was as pathetic as Josie and Erin thought I was. “Olivia?” I lifted my head at the sound of a deep voice and saw Cash closing my office door. He looked incredible in a black suit and sapphire blue dress shirt. Damn, he filled out a suit well! “Yes?” I answered, my mind filled with how good he looked standing there. “I’m going to be out of the building tonight. I know this is the first time you’ve chosen to work while the club is open, so if you have any problems, just text me.” “I don’t expect to have any problems. No one even knows I’m back here. If I need anything, I can just ask Stefan since he’ll be close by.” My suggestion meant to help Cash leave behind the worries of the job for one night caused him to frown. “No. I don’t want you bothering Stefan. If you need anything, text or call me. Are we clear?” “Oh…oh, okay,” I stammered out, stung by his sharp rebuke of my kind gesture. “Have a good weekend,” he said, his voice back to its usual sexier softness. I wished him the same, and as he turned and walked out into the club probably to some great date with a gorgeous supermodel, my heart sank. Even though I’d worried about him knowing what I planned for later tonight, some tiny part of me had secretly hoped it would have made him open up a little more and maybe show me he liked me too. So much for my pie in the sky dreams.

* I WALKED THROUGH THE NIGHTCLUB section of Club X in my tiny black tank dress and almost four inch heels, weaving through the crowds to the beat of dance music on my way to the stairs that led up to the fantasy rooms. Although I rarely dressed up like this, I liked how it felt when I saw a few male patrons check me out. They didn’t know I was all walk and no talk, but it didn’t matter. Tonight wasn’t about impressing them. Tonight was about me becoming the new and improved Olivia. My legs shook almost uncontrollably as I climbed the stairs past the second, third, and fourth floors, avoiding the gazes of the throngs of people passing me. Each step I took moved me one step closer to my fantasy. I’d been pretty vague on my request form, only saying I wanted to experience not being in control all the time. I wasn’t up for anything too freaky, but I didn’t want to put too many restrictions on my request and end up having tea with some pathetic guy in glasses because Kane thought I was looking for something tame. By the time I reached the top floor, it was nearly midnight and my stomach was completely tied in knots. My palms felt clammy too, and as I walked toward where Kane stood talking to some man, I nonchalantly wiped my hands down the front of my dress, hoping to dry them off a little. The men stared at me as I approached them, and I immediately wondered if this was the person Kane had arranged to spend time with me. Tall and very muscular, he wore his blond hair a little too long for my taste and reminded me of that model who’d been on all those romance novels my mother used to like to read. He seemed intensely interested in me, though, and I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the idea that my first venture into the sexier side of life would be with him. “Olivia, I almost didn’t recognize you,” Kane said in an unusually pleasant voice for him. I looked down at my dress and back up at him. “Yes, well, I thought I should…” I felt foolish explaining my choice of clothes and by the look on the mystery man’s face, he couldn’t figure out why I was boring them with the information either, so I let my sentence trail off into awkward silence. My brand new sexy life wasn’t starting off well at all. Kane pointed down the hallway I’d walked with Cash the week before. “Go to the last room on the right. Be sure to follow all the directions on the card. Most important, have a good time, Olivia.” The scary owner seemed downright chipper tonight, but I had the feeling it was more amusement at me than a new outlook on life. I turned and walked through the crowd of already drunk partiers directly to the room, just as he’d told me to, finding only a note and a plain, white box on the table next to the ordinary tan sofa. Taking a deep breath, I sat down and opened the note card. Welcome to your fantasy, Olivia. This night is all yours. For the next two hours, let yourself go. You want to experience not being in control, so you’ll do as I desire. If you don’t obey, I’ll correct you once. The second time you make any mistake, our time will be over. In the box, you’ll find a blindfold. Put it on and wait. Nervous but exhilarated by the promise of the evening, I opened the lid and nestled inside sat a black silk blindfold. Lifting it out of the box, I ran my fingertips over it, loving the cool, smooth feel of it against my skin. I took one last look around the room that resembled the one I’d sat in with Cash and put the blindfold up to my eyes, tying the ribbons behind my head to hold it in place. And then I waited. Without my sight, the sound of my heart pounding became my focus, but I listened to hear my

companion for the evening approach, unable to make out anything outside this room because of the soundproofing. Every puff of cool air from the ducts overhead, every hint of my favorite perfume gently wafting the scent of vanilla and floral up from behind my earlobes became so pronounced. I felt vulnerable and on display, and I wondered if anyone stood behind the window waiting for the moment when the covering would rise and they could see everything inside the room. Straining my ears, I waited to hear the sound that would tell me the wall had lifted, but after five minutes or so, I stopped and let myself relax, as the note had told me to. The door opening put every cell in my body on red alert. The person who entered said nothing, but I felt them standing there watching me. I sat ramrod straight, my heart hammering away in my chest, as I anticipated their first words to me. The air around us nearly crackled with excitement, mine mostly I imagined, but I wanted to think this person who’d spend the next two hours with me wanted to be there too for their own reasons. As the door closed, I heard them move toward me, and then the first touch of their hands made my breath catch in my throat. Large and strong, the man’s hands slowly caressed my upper arms, sending goosebumps all down my skin. A mixture of exhilaration and fear rippled through me. Closing my eyes, I reminded myself that this was what I wanted. I couldn’t go on living life so safe that I never truly lived at all. Unsure of how to act, I nervously asked, “What’s your name?” A deep voice whispered, “Shhhh,” and he took my hand to guide me from my place on the couch. It wasn’t even a real word he spoke, but it was an order—a command—that I was supposed to listen to, and I did willingly, loving how little control I felt already. His hand slid down my back to the base of my spine as I walked, an unmistakable act of power. Our time would be governed by his rules, not mine. The thought of him controlling my fantasy excited me. What would he do? What would he want me to do? I’d only reserved the room for two hours, a basic fantasy, so there wasn’t supposed to be sex involved. But at that moment, I so wished it would be. He’d barely touched me, and I wanted him so badly. No, I wanted Cash, but for tonight, this man would be him, at least in my mind. I sat on the barstool he’d led me to and sensed him move around me. His warm breath slid over the skin on my neck, making every hair stand at attention. Never before had I been so aware of another person near me. My hands ached to reach out and touch him to learn more about the man who already had such an effect on me, but I had the surest sense that wasn’t allowed until he said it was. He stood in front of me, and I imagined him silently watching me. I didn’t know what to do or how to react. Fulfilling fantasies was his job, but this was all new to me. I licked my lips to moisten them as my nervousness made my mouth as dry as cotton and I heard him exhale. Then he touched my cheek and instantly I felt lightheaded. The pad of his thumb traced a line from just under my cheekbone to the swell of my bottom lip I’d just licked with my tongue and as his finger reached the corner of my mouth, his fingernail grazed my skin, sending a shiver down my spine as he moved his hand away. I listened as the sound of his shoes hitting the floor signaled he’d moved around behind me. Tensing my muscles, I waited for him to touch me again, desperate to feel his skin on mine once more. My mind swirled with thoughts of Cash as the man there with me. For the first time, I let myself fantasize about him without fear. This was a fantasy room, after all. Without realizing it, I relaxed as I imagined what being with Cassian March would be like. Eyes closed behind the blindfold, I let my mind’s eye create images of how he looked out of those expensive suits, his muscular body revealed just for me. As I enjoyed my private fantasy, the man behind me softly

pushed my hair off to my left shoulder and pressed his lips against my neck. His mouth was warm and gentle on my skin, and an involuntary moan escaped from my throat when I felt his hand moved around to stroke the column of my neck. I lifted my chin, needy to feel him touch me more, and deliberately his fingers squeezed my flesh ever so lightly. Fear spiked inside me at the fact that his hand, so big and strong, could crush my windpipe in one swift move if he chose, but his touch was gentle, if insistent. I was his to control, not hurt. He moaned low and quiet near my ear, sending a shockwave straight to my core. I had no idea who he was, what he looked like, or even what he sounded like when he said my name, but at that moment if he had wanted me I would have willingly given myself to him. I knew it was foolish, but that didn’t change how I felt. His thumb rubbed against my neck, leaving a trail of heat wherever he touched. Then just as I thought I couldn’t take another instant of his teasing touch, he moved his hand away and I heard him walk around me again. I sat there confused why he’d stopped. Our time couldn’t be up yet. Swiveling my head left and right to try to get a sense of what was going on, I caught a hint of his cologne. Vaguely familiar, I’d never smelled anything more delicious in my life. I wanted to fill my nostrils with that masculine scent as I buried my head in the curve between his neck and shoulder and pressed my lips against his skin. He stopped my head with a gentle touch of his hand on my jaw. Every movement stimulated my senses because even though he never touched me harshly, there was no mistaking his control over me. Yes, I’d requested this fantasy and I knew this was all an act to him, but to me our time together brought out a part of me I’d never really knew existed. I wanted to give up the control I’d always thought was so important, and this stranger brought that out in me. And then he kissed me, his lips soft and warm. They moved over mine like they knew exactly how to excite me. His strong hands cradled my face as our kiss deepened, nearly burning my lips with the heat between us. The first light touch of his tongue on mine made my pussy run wet. I wanted to feel that tongue slide over my clit as I slipped over the edge into a toe-curling orgasm. My mind reeled between fantasy and reality. The person I wanted to do all these things to me was Cash, not this unknown man playacting because it was his job. Desire mingled with the truth, pushing it aside as his kiss deepened even further, his tongue eagerly gliding over mine. Timidly, I reached out to touch the man who so easily brought out in me such sensuality that even I couldn’t believe I wanted these things. He didn’t stop me, so I pressed my hands against his chest, broad and hard under a dress shirt. My mind flashed back to what the man standing with Kane had been wearing. This was not him. A lick of fear tore through me. Was it Cash’s brother there with me? I ran my hand over the back of his neck and instantly knew it wasn’t Kane I was touching. He wore his hair cropped to his head, and this man’s hair was a little longer, just barely hitting the collar of his shirt. It felt as soft as silk as I slid the ends through my fingers. Who was this? As I pondered this question, he moved back away from me until only his hands touched the tops of my legs. His thumbs traced a slow path down toward the inside of my thighs that seemed to fall open of their own volition. God, I wanted him to ease the ache he’d created in me. I opened my mouth to speak, knowing he didn’t want me to but needing to say something, but stopped dead when I felt his lips on my inner thigh. I gasped as he flicked his tongue against my skin, and I could have sworn I heard him moan my name. Slowly, he inched his way up under my skirt, so close to where I desperately wished him to be. He was so close I felt his breath on my… And then I felt his finger slide through the front of my damp panties, tracing the cleft up to my needy clit. Leaning back, I moaned, “Oh,” and waited, wishing more than anything he’d put his mouth on my

pussy. But he stopped, leaving me wanting as he stood up and leaned in to whisper so quietly I barely heard the words, “Goodnight, Olivia.” My emotions spun out of control, and before I could say a word, he left me sitting there aching and desperate for more. Tearing off my blindfold, I looked around for any sign of who my mystery man had been and why he’d left so abruptly before our reserved time was up, but I saw nothing. Walking to the door on shaky legs, I opened it to see the crowd of people in the hallway. Was the man who’d been with me one of them? I hurried down toward where Kane had stood just a short time ago, but his post was empty so I couldn’t even ask him who had been assigned to my room. Not that it mattered. Whoever it was, in my mind it had been Cash there with me. HOURS LATER, I LAY AWAKE in bed still strung out from my first time in a Club X fantasy room. Every inch of my body had been awakened, every sense heightened by a man whose touch thrilled me but whose face I’d never seen. I wanted more. I wanted to feel that sexy again. My fingers slid slowly down over my stomach and through my folds as I replayed every moment of my fantasy coming true. Closing my eyes, I thought about the one man who’d filled my nights for weeks. Cash walked into my office and closed the door behind him. Dressed in a black suit and red shirt, he looked more stunning than usual, if that was possible. His cool blue eyes focused on me as he walked toward my desk. “Staying late tonight, Olivia?” Another boss asking me that question would be perfectly normal, but something in his tone told me his interest in my schedule had nothing to do with the work I was busy with. Shifting in my chair, I nodded. “I thought I’d catch up on some work. You know, so I can begin ahead of the game on Monday.” He stopped in front of my desk and smiled. “Always so diligent.” God, he could have been reading one of my management textbooks in that voice and I’d want him inside me. I wondered if he knew how sexy he sounded, or did he simply always sound like a sex god? I began to needlessly explain that I liked to begin the workweek fresh, like some overachieving nerd who didn’t understand what to do when a gorgeous man came into her presence. I knew. I just wasn’t sure enough to act on that knowledge with someone like Cassian March. He rounded the corner of my desk and leaned down just inches away from me. “I think it’s time for you to get off work, don’t you?” The room suddenly felt too small as he stared down at me with those stunning blue eyes. His face was so close to mine that all I had to do was lean forward just a tiny bit and I’d finally get to know what his perfect mouth felt like. Instantly, I wished I could say something sexy—something that would make him hot like he made me—but he unnerved me so much my mind went blank and it was all I could do to squeak out, “Oh, okay.” Then he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that took my breath away. The room swam around me. His lips were as soft as I’d imagined and he claimed my mouth with an urgency that belied that cool persona he wore every day. He pulled away and licked his lips as if to taste me on them. “I know there’s more to you than just a great worker, Olivia. Time to show me who the real you is.”

His mouth crushed against mine again as his one hand held me to him while the other slid up my thigh under my skirt. He moved fast, but stopping him was the last thing on my mind. More than anything, I wanted to feel him inside me, whether it was his fingers or his cock. I stood from my chair, my skirt pushed up around my waist to reveal my panties drenched from how excited he’d made me. He leaned back against my desk and began to undo his belt, quickly unzipping his pants to show nothing but his rock hard cock. All my thoughts of straddling him and riding that cock were suddenly pushed back in my mind in favor of taking him in my mouth and sucking him dry. I wanted to taste that gorgeous part of him more than anything. Dropping to my knees, I palmed the root of his shaft and wrapped my lips around the swollen tip, sucking him into my mouth as much as I could. He moaned loudly and buried his hands in my hair to guide me as I slid his gorgeous cock in and out of my mouth. His skin was velvety smooth over his rock hard shaft, and he tasted faintly of salt and muskiness. Pure male. I cupped his balls in my free hand and looked up to see him staring down at me with a look in his piercing blue eyes that told me this was exactly what he’d had in mind. Over and over, I swallowed his cock, loving the sound of his moans as I inched him closer and closer to release. I felt his hands tighten in my hair, sending delicious pain skittering across my scalp. Looking down at me, he licked his lips and grinned. “Slow. I want this to last.” Controlling my pace, he fucked my mouth slowly and methodically, and I licked and sucked every glorious inch of him. I felt his sac tighten in my palm and knew he was just seconds away from coming. Keeping my gaze on him, I watched his eyes glaze over as his cock flooded my mouth. Gently, I squeezed the base, feeling it twitch as cum spurted out of him. When he finally finished, I stood up to face him and he quickly moved to push my panties out of the way. “Straddle me, Olivia. I want to see you ride my cock.” My fingers slid through my wet pussy and over my swollen clit as the fantasy of fucking Cash played itself out in my mind. My orgasm hit at just the moment when he ordered me to ride him, and I plunged two fingers inside me just as the vision of him sliding into my body filled my mind.

Chapter Eight

Cassian MY TIME WITH OLIVIA IN our fantasy room affected me more than I thought it would, and by the time I saw her at work on Monday, I wasn’t sure I could hide that I wanted her. Even more, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hide it, but I still wasn’t convinced I should abandon everything I’d believed in for years. Shitting where you eat wasn’t a wise business decision. I knew that, and still I had to fight the urge to walk into her office half a dozen times to see her. From the moment she walked in that morning, I saw she was different. She had an air of sensuality that I hadn’t seen before in her. Something in her deep brown eyes sparkled as we spoke about work. She wore this new sexiness well. I wondered if she had any clue it was me next to her just nights before in that room loving the smell of vanilla in her hair as my lips tenderly brushed her ear and my hands caressed her soft skin. When she left the club that night, I had to know if she’d reserved another room. I’d never cared as much as to wonder if a woman would ever come back, except for Rachel. I’d cared far too much about her, and I’d paid for that mistake and likely would for the rest of my life. Now I found myself caring about what this woman thought—what she felt—what she wanted. I’d pushed this side of me away for so long I didn’t know if I could control it. I hadn’t been able to in the past. Within mere days of meeting Rachel, I’d been consumed by her. Her perfume, the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips on mine became necessities in my life. Was I ready to be that man again? Kane stood at his post on the top floor watching monitors as he always did, and I approached him knowing as soon as I asked about Olivia that I’d be showing him my hand. My half-brother played his cards close to the vest, and right now, I hoped he’d keep my business under wraps too. I didn’t need Stefan knowing anything about what Olivia and I were up to. “How’s it looking tonight?” He looked at me with suspicion, and I knew he saw right through my attempt to act like nothing was going on. Instead of asking me any questions, he simply nodded and smiled. “Same as always, Cash. Life never changes up here.” “Yeah. Same downstairs.” “How was your meeting with that scumbag Shank?” “He wants me to hire his daughter.” Kane’s eyebrows shot up. “For what? If she looks like him, all she’d be good for is guarding the door, and I don’t need any more bouncers.” “I know. I know. I couldn’t say no to him, though. Without his help, we’d have to deal with cops every night.” “Make her a bartender, Cash. Good thing is Stefan won’t want to fuck her if she’s got her father’s face. And when the ugly lights come on at the end of the night, it won’t matter because everyone’s stone drunk anyway.” I had to laugh at Kane’s straightforward approach to the problem. I made a few more attempts at small talk, which he thankfully ignored, and then got straight to the reason I’d come up to see him. “Did she reserve a room again?”

“Who?” he asked with a vicious grin. “You know who.” “I don’t know. I’ll have to look it up. I should be able to locate that information by tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday.” Leaning over his station, I leveled my gaze at him. “Is this your Stefan impersonation? Just tell me.” Kane let out a deep laugh. “Sorry, Cash. It was just too easy. Yeah, she reserved a room for this Friday.” I waited for him to tell me anything else I should know, but he wasn’t going to make this easy for me. “Did she request anything…or anyone?” He stood silently, giving me a look that told me he was enjoying himself. “Jesus, Kane. Don’t be such a dick.” “Old habits die hard, big brother. I didn’t realize we were best buddies now.” He had every right to be an asshole with me. Never recognized by our father until right before he died, Kane had grown up without the comforts the March name offered. Not that Stefan and I were to blame for that, but I understood why he had a chip on his shoulder. Right now, though, that chip was causing me grief I could do without. “So?” “She requested the same room and the same guy. Same tame fantasy too.” That’s all I needed to hear. A rush of happiness raced through me. “Thanks, Kane.” “You like this one, don’t you, Cash?” With a smile, I said, “So now we’re best buddies?” Two could play this game. Unlike Stefan, Kane had a great sense of humor, even if he rarely displayed it. He chuckled and said, “No. I was just curious. I don’t think I’ve seen you react to anyone like this for a long time.” “It’s not a big deal. Just keeping an eye out for her.” “If that’s what you want to call it, that’s fine. I’ll go along with it. For what it’s worth, though, she had a good time and seems like a new woman.” “Been spying on the rooms again, Kane?” Sitting down, he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t have to. I saw her earlier, and it’s written all over her face. That woman is primed.” “Again acting like Stefan. Don’t make this something it’s not.” Kane shrugged and gave me an unconvinced smirk. “Whatever works for you. I just know what I see.” I turned and walked away before he goaded me into saying something I didn’t want to. Playing games wasn’t on my agenda. I much rathered thinking about Olivia wanting another night like I’d given her. And that’s exactly what she’d get.

* SEATED BEHIND HER DESK IN a pale pink cotton dress, she looked more like she was ready for a picnic than working at organizing a birthday party with a Roman orgy theme one of the platinum members had reserved for the next weekend. Standing in the doorway to her office, I asked, “Olivia, are you planning to work late on another Friday night? It’s already nine o’clock.” She flashed me a smile and nodded. “Yes. I have plans later, so I thought I’d work until then.” “Have something special to do tonight?” Biting her bottom lip, she looked away for a second and then back at me. “Just something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. What about you? Do you have big plans this weekend?” I shook my head and worked to keep my happiness at her answer hidden. “Nope. I’ll be here all

weekend. I’m thinking I’ll work late tonight too, so if you need anything, just stop over.” “Okay, thanks! I already had dinner, but if I need anything, I’ll be sure to let you know.” Her tone not so subtly told me she had something better on her mind. As I made my way back to my office, I had to admit knowing the something better was me made her dismissal easier to take. I busied myself with work, all the while distracted by the plans I had for her when we were together in that room again. While the silent act may have been entertaining for a night, I wanted her to know who was seducing her. Tonight I’d let her hear my voice, and if we had any future together, I’d know by her reaction when I said those first words. The sound of the club outside my door made hearing much of anything difficult, but I felt the vibration of her door close just before midnight and knew the time had come. Opening my office door, I watched her head into the crowd and gave her a few minutes to climb the stairs and find the room. By quarter after, I figured she was ready and ascended the stairs to join her. Like the week before, groups of people filled the hallway leading to the room she waited in, platinum members I recognized immediately as what I liked to call the fringe of that level. Clients since our early days at the club, they saw Club X as a refuge for their wildest fantasies and we graciously accommodated each and every one of them. Glad-handing as I made my way toward where Olivia sat waiting for me, I finally reached our room at the end of the hall, the same as last Friday. I entered and quickly closed the door, wanting to push away the noisy remnants of the club’s patrons who milled about outside. Whatever they planned to be that night, I didn’t want them intruding on my time with her. She sat silently on the couch, her back straight and chin high, looking confident but alert. Vulnerable in the same black silk blindfold as the first time, she turned to face me as the door clicked closed. I saw by the way her lips parted slightly that she wanted to speak, but my admonition to her during our previous time together forced her to be silent. Not ready to give my true identity away quite yet, I reached out and ran my fingertip over the seam of her mouth, letting my touch linger on the corner. Her lips were soft and as I pulled away, she whispered in a voice I could barely hear, “I’ve waited all week for this.” Her words, tinged with shyness, nevertheless told me she was ready to feel more than she’d ever let herself feel before. I wanted to bring that out in her. I wanted to be the man who made her scream in pleasure like she’d never experienced before in her life. That might have been a little premature. No matter how much I wanted her, I wasn’t going to make love to Olivia for the first time in one of my club’s fantasy rooms. She was better than that. Taking her hand, I led her over to the bar stool on the opposite side of the room. She sat down, and I watched as she fidgeted with her dress, nervously tugging on it to cover her gorgeous thighs. Reaching out, I covered her hands to still them and placed them at her side, returning to slide one finger over the inside of her right thigh. She jumped at the feel of my touch on her tender skin, and I heard her sharp intake of breath as I watched my fingertip trace a line up her leg under her dress. A gentle twitch of her skin and a soft sigh made my cock harden, and I worked to keep myself under control. I moved my hand away, and Olivia straightened in the chair, gently squeezing her thighs together in a brief clench as she waited for me to make my next move. She was so responsive, unlike any woman I’d been with before. Each quiver, each quiet moan excited me more than I thought possible. But I wanted more than just a response from her. I wanted her to go after what she desired. Stepping in between her legs, I pressed the front of my thighs against the chair and leaned in to kiss her, stopping just before my lips brushed against hers to inhale the delicate scent of vanilla. Her mouth melded to mine, pressing eagerly in a kiss full of need. Slipping my tongue between her lips, I leisurely

teased the tip of her tongue as if I was flicking my tongue over her clit. Soon…For now, her tongue would do nicely. She tasted like peppermint, and as we kissed, the fresh flavor filled my mouth, making me want more than just the polite making out she offered. I cradled the back of her head and held her fast to me, my mouth plundering hers as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Stroking my thumb against the base of her neck, I heard her softly mew into my mouth as she scooted her ass forward on the chair toward my rock hard cock. I pulled away suddenly, and she made a sound like a tiny moan filled with disappointment. The corners of her mouth turned down slightly as she turned her head to search for my touch. Crouching down, I pushed her dress up and pressed my lips to the tender skin of her inner thigh. Lightly flicking my tongue over it, I heard the sharp intake of her breath and felt the quiver of her skin against my lips as I inched my way up her leg. Whispering, I said my first real words to her in this room. “Relax. Let yourself feel good, Olivia.” Instantly, her body tensed and the gentle sound of her breathing stopped. I stood to watch her reaction, and after a long moment she let out a deep sigh but said nothing. Had she recognized my voice or was she just surprised by my speaking to her for the first time? She was lovely sitting there, vulnerable but eager to shed her shy girl self and act on her true desires. Reaching out, I ran my hand over her hair and twirled a lock around my forefinger, stopping next to her ear with a gentle tug. She bit her lower lip and leaned toward my hand, a wince marring her beautiful face to let me know I was hurting her. Unraveling it slowly, I let it fall against her shoulder and leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek to ease the pain. “I’m glad to see you came back tonight, Olivia.” She had to recognize my voice that time. I waited for her to respond, but when she did, there was no sign she knew who the man seducing her was. Her voice quiet, she said, “I couldn’t stay away if I wanted to. I don’t, though.” I ran my fingertip across her cheek to her mouth and traced the outline of her lips. “I like that. What do you like, Olivia?” She hesitated, unsure of her answer, and finally said, “You. I like you.” I liked her answer so much I wanted to feel those lips that had spoken such sweet words on my lips. Pulling her into my arms, I kissed her hard, not wanting to restrain myself. She softened in my hold, kissing me with a passion I’d only imagined lay beneath that proper businesswoman I saw each day. Breaking our kiss, I trailed my lips over the soft skin near her collarbone, planting tiny kisses as I moved my mouth toward the front of her dress. “I like your dress. Tell me, Olivia, would you take it off for me?” “Yes.” “What if I wanted to take it off? Would you let me?” “Yes,” she said in a breathless voice before she repeated her answer. “Yes.” Fuck, she was beautiful! So responsive to my touch, she made my cock ache with a mere word. I wanted her right there, my mouth lapping her pussy as she came over and over again, drenching my face with her juices. My cock sliding in and out of her needy cunt, filling her completely as her body gave in to the feelings I created in her. I felt myself begin to lose control. Stepping back, I took a deep breath to calm my mind, needing to find some way to get back to that man I’d created so long ago. This was seduction, nothing more. That it would lead to sex was all the better, but that’s where it would end. Where it had to end.

Olivia reached out for me, her hands searching for the one who’d so hastily abandoned her. She had no idea why I’d needed to back away. All she knew was that I wasn’t there with her anymore. “Are you still here?” she whispered in a voice laced with sadness. “Did I do something wrong?” I stood watching her as a frown settled into that gorgeous mouth, and I imagined her eyebrows knitting with concern that she’d made a mistake. A lick of regret seared my heart for a moment. Olivia wasn’t to blame for the way I was. She shouldn’t pay for my being fucked up. Stepping forward, I answered her. “I’m here. You did nothing wrong, Olivia.” The frown disappeared, replaced by a genuine smile that lit up the room, and she tentatively ran her fingertips down the front of my shirt. “What color is this?” “Black.” “Why don’t you want me to take my dress off anymore? Is something wrong?” I slipped my fingers under the neckline of her dress and eased it off her shoulders to reveal a pink satin bra strap. Bending down, I placed a kiss on her collarbone as I slid the strap down, noticing a red mark where it had rubbed against her tender skin. “Did you buy this bra just for tonight, Olivia?” Her cheeks flushed a darker pink color at my question, and she bit her lip as she nodded. God, she was exquisite in her bashfulness. I couldn’t remember being around a woman so shy yet so eager to shed her inhibitions. The combination was intoxicating and made me want her all the more. Sliding my hand down her side, my thumb grazing her breast, I lifted the bottom of her dress and placed my palm on the top of her thigh just below her hip. A tiny whimper escaped her lips as I trailed a fingertip under her panties. “Tell me, Olivia. Are these pink too?” I could have simply looked for myself, but I relished the idea of her admitting how she’d thought about this night enough to want to impress me with a new bra and panties. It had a charm unlike anything I’d experienced in so long that I wanted to make it more important than in reality it was. “Yes,” she said quietly before pressing her lips together, like she’d said some terrible word she couldn’t take back. “You’re so beautiful. Do you know that?” Olivia sat there silent with a look of sadness on her face that made me think she didn’t believe me when I said she was beautiful. Was that why she was so timid? I imagined some stupid boy years before telling her redheads weren’t beautiful. Some frat boy like Stefan who wouldn’t know sexy if it was standing right in front of him casually declaring she wasn’t pretty enough or not his type because she wasn’t blonde or blue eyed. “Do you believe me, Olivia?” “Yes.” With the pad of my thumb, I traced the outline of her bottom lip before I leaned down to run my tongue over the seam of her perfectly full mouth. I imagined that mouth around my cock as she took every inch of me, her brown eyes staring up at me as she sucked me off. If I didn’t watch myself, I was going to enjoy this little fantasy thing of ours entirely too much.

Chapter Nine

Olivia SWALLOWING HARD, I TRIED TO calm the nerves that threatened to overrun me as I sat there listening to Cash talk to me about how beautiful I was. Oh my God, I was in a fantasy room with my boss and one of the owners of Club X, Cassian March! When Josie and Erin suggested I take advantage of the fantasy perk of my employment at the club, I never really intended to follow their advice. I mean, living out my fantasies, no matter how tame they may have seemed to others, scared me half to death. I was the type of woman whose mind routinely came up with incredible dreams, but they were just that. Dreams. Nothing more, and certainly not meant to be acted upon. It’s just that after the night of the Godivas party when Cash and I sat together in a room just like the one we were in now, I realized if I ever wanted to have even the tiniest chance with a man like him, I had to shed my schoolgirl fears and begin living those dreams instead of just enjoying them alone each night. But I’d never thought I’d be acting them out with the very man who filled my fantasies night after night for the past three weeks! Cassian March. Tall, dark, and stunning with blue eyes I saw every time I lay my head on my pillow. His voice slid seductively over my skin with each word he spoke, and now he was telling me he thought I was beautiful. But why was he here in my fantasy room helping me live out my fantasy of not having control? His tongue slowly slid into my mouth to tease mine, making my pussy run wet. The man was driving me insane with desire, and I loved every second of it. I hadn’t reserved a gold or platinum level fantasy room, so there would be no sex between us. Part of me felt relief at that. If Cash and I ever made love, I didn’t want it to be in a room like this one. Another part of me felt disappointed, though. I wanted him now more than ever and to know that this was just some temporary thing between the two of us that would end as soon as we left this room made me sad. “Olivia, tell me what you want.” His words were a command I was meant to obey, but fear of rejection tore through my brain, making answering impossible. I wanted him. I wanted to feel him as he eased into me while I dug my fingernails into his back. I wanted to experience what it felt like for a man like him to satisfy me like no man had ever done before. None of those words happened because of that fear that had always crippled me. Instead, I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. God, for once, couldn’t I be as brave with a man as I’d always been in every other part of my life? “Don’t be afraid. Tell me. What’s your fantasy?” “I…I want to know what it’s like to not always have control.” Cash ran his hands up the outside of my thighs to my waist, leaving a trail of heat where his skin touched my clothes. Even through the fabric, his touch thrilled my body. He leaned in toward me, and I felt his warm breath against my cheek. “No, I mean what do you really want?” Even though I couldn’t see him looking at me, I felt his stare as he waited to hear what my true fantasy was. Closing my eyes behind the blindfold, I prayed that once the words left my mouth that I wouldn’t be left humiliated and alone in that room with only my regret and shame.

Swallowing hard, I said the truest words I’d ever spoken. “I want to experience what it’s like to give myself to someone completely. No fear. No hesitation. No holding back.” They came out in a rush, like my brain had rehearsed the answer so many times and my mouth and tongue finally rejoiced in the opportunity to say the words out loud. Cash said nothing for what seemed like forever, and I couldn’t help but feel utterly foolish. I sat there exposed and vulnerable, my shame growing with each moment that ticked by until I felt like it would smother me. Somehow, even the fact that I couldn’t see his reaction made things worse as I was left to imagine the cold look in his eyes as he silently judged me. I was everything I’d ever feared. Pathetic. Then he spoke and his words made every one of my fears disappear. “I want to give that to you. You deserve to feel all that and more, Olivia.” The way his voice dropped to a deep whisper when he said my name made an ache throb in my lower abdomen like an emptiness existed there that only he could fill. I squeezed my thighs together, but that only made the ache more acute, and an involuntary moan escaped my throat. Never before had I been so aroused by merely being in a man’s presence. He’d only kissed me a few times that night and said so little, but he could have commanded me to fulfill his wildest dreams at that moment and I would have without hesitation. He slipped my bra strap back onto my shoulder and covered it with my dress. Gently, he brushed his lips against mine and whispered, “Our time is up, but I wanted to tell you my favorite color is black. I hope to see you again here, Olivia.” Pressing his palm to the front of my panties, he slid his finger through the dampness, making me moan as he reached my clit, lingering there far too briefly before he moved his hand away. It was all I could do to stammer out, “Yes,” but he was already moving toward the door. I heard him turn the door knob and stop as he pulled the door open. Angling my body toward the sound, I heard him say, “And Olivia, don’t ever believe you aren’t beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t ever forget that.” The door closed with a click, and I ripped off my blindfold to look around at the room in an effort to convince myself that it all had really happened. I’d just spent time with the man of my dreams, and he wanted to see me here again. I needed to go shopping for a black bra and panties.

* JOSIE STOOD NEXT TO ME as I stared up at the wall of bras, unsure which one would be the right bra for my next Friday night fantasy date. Date. Yeah, that’s how I’d begun to think of my time with Cash on the top floor of Club X. It might not have been exactly correct to call our time together dates, but that’s what I was going with. I hadn’t told Josie or Erin what I’d been up to with Cash, so my sudden interest in lingerie seemed odd, at best. Josie must have been a descendent of some world class detective because we hadn’t been in Victoria’s Secret not five minutes before she began asking questions. “A black bra? That’s not really your style, Liv. What’s going on?” Twisting my face into a disgusted expression, I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for always reminding me that I’m your Well On My Way To Being An Old Maid friend. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.” “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. It’s just that any time a person begins to act out of character, her friends should take notice.”

“Thank you, Miss Marple.” Josie arched one eyebrow in her usual fashion when I said something she found odd. “Not an Old Maid? Who says Miss Marple these days? If I’m any detective, it’s Beckett from Castle.” “Thanks, Detective Beckett.” “You’re welcome. Now what’s up with the new bra? Who’s checking out these undergarments?” “Undergarments?” Josie’s gorgeous smile spread across her lips. “I wanted to use a term you’d be familiar with. See? I’m here for you.” Turning back to face the wall of bras once again, I stared up at the assortment of black ones. Some would give me cleavage a man could get lost in, while others seemed to have tiny details to make any sex partner happy. Or so I imagined since I couldn’t figure out why a teardrop shaped faux crystal would be hanging between my boobs. “Well, here for you, which one should I pick?” Josie looked up at the choices and pointed to one of the deep cleavage bras. “That should make your 34Bs look pretty good. What do you think?” “I think I might never see my toes again.” Her head swiveled left and then right, and she pointed at a black lacy one. “What about that? Lace is very sexy. Just ask Miss Marple with the lace doilies.” Sighing, I shook my head. “No lace then. Next!” Josie leaned in next to me and said in my ear, “I might be more helpful if I knew why this sudden interest in black bras.” Something inside me made me want to share my secret with someone, so very quietly I said, “I’ve been meeting Cassian March every Friday night in a fantasy room at Club X.” “Shut the fuck up!” she announced to everyone within earshot. I looked around, horrified that someone might have heard her. A middle-aged mother with her young daughter checking out the table of boy shorts shot me a glaring look, and I gave her my best plaintive apology face. Pulling Josie away behind a rack of yoga pants, I worked to stifle her need to know more about my secret. “Josie! Indoor voice!” I whispered. She looked around and said in her lowest voice, “Shut the fuck up. You’re fucking Cassian March? Jesus, Liv, when did this happen and why the hell didn’t you tell me before?” “I took your advice and reserved a fantasy room. Nothing big. I just said I wanted to experience what it was like not to always be in control. It was probably the most boring fantasy request they’d ever seen.” “Then how the hell did you get that incredible piece of man meat to join you?” I shrugged and shook my head. “I don’t know. The first night the man who joined me in the room ordered me not to speak and didn’t speak to me, so I didn’t know who he was. Then last night I showed up expecting whoever he was not to say a word, but when the man spoke, it was Cash. I couldn’t believe it.” “How was he? I have to know if I was right. Please tell me he fucks like a wild stallion. I need to know there are still men out there who know how to take care of a woman.” “I don’t know. We didn’t do anything like that.” “You didn’t have sex with him? Why ever not?” Sheepishly, I looked away back toward the wall of bras. “He didn’t want that, I guess. He never even let on it was him.” Josie walked around me to look at me with eyes wide with surprise. “And you didn’t make a move? Again I ask, why ever not?” “I can’t change who I fundamentally am, Josie. I reserved the fantasy room to try to be less inhibited,

but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Anyway, he seems far more interested in toying with me, now that I think about it.” “Toying with you? What do you mean?” “He likes to touch me and talk a little, but nothing else. He hasn’t even tried to have sex with me.” Josie made a face like she was mulling over everything I’d told her. It wasn’t the wild sex story she wanted. “So why buy the new bra and panty set?” Hesitating for a long moment, I finally admitted the truth. “He told me his favorite color was black.” I waited for Josie’s response, expecting her to read me the feminist riot act and accuse me of being little more than a doormat for a man. Instead, she winked and smiled. “The old Livy would have been too afraid to go out and buy his favorite color bra. I think it’s pretty cool that this new you is willing to make that effort, even though you aren’t sure where this is going. Looks like Rome is well on its way to being built.” “Thanks, Josie.” “I just don’t understand one thing. If you knew it was him, why didn’t you let him know?” “I don’t know. I got the feeling he might not want me to know, although I’d know that voice anywhere. He’s got to know I know.” “Then why wouldn’t he say so?” “I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with any expectations I might have outside that room we go to.” I’d tried all last night and all morning not to obsess over that fact, not wanting to believe that our time together meant so little to him. I wanted to think he enjoyed spending those hours with me, even if he didn’t want to be with me like that any other time. “Do you plan to let him know you know it’s him?” “I don’t know. There’s something sexy about neither one of us admitting we’re together. Like it’s a secret just between us. We both know but say nothing. I guess I’ll just have to play it by ear, but I’m reserving another room this Friday. That I do know.” Josie hugged me tightly and pressed her head to mine. “I’m so loving this Livy Version 2.0, you know that? I say let it ride, and if you get the chance, ride that man like there’s no tomorrow.” “I think I will.” Reaching up to grab a black silk bra with deep cleavage action, I dangled it in front of Josie’s face. “And just in case Cash decides Friday night is the night, I’ll be ready.”

* IT WAS EASY TO BE all bravado in front of Josie, but once I returned to work on Monday, I found walking the walk and talking the talk so much harder. Cash sat in his office, like he always did, and I worked in mine, sure that we’d have to speak at some point in the day. I dreaded the idea of speaking to him and craved it at the same time. By four o’clock, I was just about ready to burst from anticipation. I’d always heard people say it’s the not knowing that’s the worst, and I had to agree with them. All day my mind had been busy creating a million scenarios as to how things would go when we finally spoke, most of which involved him either ignoring me for the rest of the week or worse, acting cold toward me when we finally spoke. Some of the scenarios weren’t all bad, though. Every so often, my brain let a romantic idea sneak in among the doomsday ones, and it was those few sweet thoughts that let me stay optimistic. He stopped in front of my open office door just before five, and I prepared myself to be cool. I may have been showing that on the outside, but my insides were doing the jiggly Jell-O dance. Straightening

papers on my desk unnecessarily, I sat up in my chair and lifted my chin, hoping to project an air of confidence. It was all for nothing, though. Instead of coming in to speak to me, he simply turned toward the club and walked away. Disappointed, I sagged in my chair and closed my eyes, exhausted from the not knowing. Perhaps we wouldn’t speak again. That seemed normal for a boss and his assistant. Yeah, right. “Olivia, is everything all right?” He said my name just like he had in the fantasy room, his voice low and husky. It curled around me like a tendril of smoke. After a day of waiting, the sound of it thrilled me instantly. Slowly, I opened my eyes and straightened myself behind my desk. “I’m fine. Thank you. Did you need something?” Cash stared at me intently for a moment and then appeared to relax. “No.” This man, who with just a word could ignite such passion inside me, stood there staring like he was looking right through me and then with a half-hearted smile, turned away and walked back into his office. Rome was burning down around me. Worse, by Tuesday afternoon, I’d convinced myself that our time together upstairs meant nothing to him. How could it when he never even told me it was him there with me and then practically avoided me for the next two workdays? It could have been a coincidence that he was either in his office with the door closed or out of the building all Monday and Tuesday. It could be. Or it could mean that he didn’t want to deal with me after our last time in the fantasy room and he was avoiding me. I couldn’t let the memory of that night go, though, so just before I left on Tuesday night, I made the decision that I’d give it one more try—one more night in the fantasy room with Cash. One more opportunity for him to let me know it was him seducing me. Rather than emailing Kane, I marched myself up the stairs to his domain and found the floor entirely empty. Peeking in room after room, I finally saw him in one at the opposite end of the hallway from the room Cash and I met in sitting behind an enormous, old wooden desk. For the first time since I’d met him, Kane looked comfortable and at home in what I assumed was his office. So different than the first floor offices, it reminded me of the kind of place a private detective worked out of in every old movie I’d ever seen. Much smaller than Cash’s and mine, it was dimly lit and cluttered with books and papers. The desk sat at the back of the room away from the door, and other than that piece of furniture, there wasn’t much else in there but Kane. He looked up as I raised my hand to knock on the door, smiling for a moment before his expression turned serious again. “Olivia, what can I do for you?” So much larger than his half-brothers, Kane always unnerved me but not in the same way Cash did. With Kane, his intimidation wasn’t sexual so much as physical. Everything about him seemed hard from his short, cropped hair, to his sharply angular face and enormous frame. Where Cash was lean and cool, Kane was huge and muscular with almost an ice cold way about him. Both men shared the same stunning crystal blue color of their eyes, but Kane’s never softened, at least not around me. I stiffened briefly and then blurted out, “I’d like to reserve another room for this Friday.” “Same as the last two times?” he asked casually as he typed something on his laptop. I began to say yes, but then I had a thought. It was now or never to be brave, so I answered, “No. I’d like to do a gold level fantasy, if that’s allowed.” Embarrassed, I lowered my voice and admitted, “I can’t afford it if it’s not included in my job benefits, though.” He stopped typing and looked up from his keyboard, his face impassive. “No, you can choose any level.” “Okay. Thanks.” I turned to head back downstairs and heard him say my name. Stopping short, I turned back. “Yes?” “Do you want the same person to join you?”

He knew. I saw it in those cold eyes of his he knew I was falling for Cash. I nodded and stood waiting for him to ask me something else, but all he did was smile, and for the first time, it reached all the way up to his eyes and they softened as he looked at me. I quickly made my way out of the building and out to my car feeling good about my choice. Olivia Version 2.0 was back on track and making progress.

Chapter Ten

Cassian F OR REASONS EVEN I COULDN’T defend, I’d avoided Olivia all week, even after Kane’s email letting me know she’d reserved another room but at the gold level for Friday night. To be honest, she was driving me to distraction. I didn’t want to think about her so much that I got little work done and laid in bed at night tossing and turning over our time together. It didn’t matter, though. This was who I was, or at least who I’d been with Rachel. I’d promised myself I’d never be that preoccupied by another living soul again, and there I was nearly obsessed with Olivia after just two nights together in one of my fantasy rooms. Obsessed. Obsession. Since Rachel, I’d worked hard to make sure I never became that again. A long line of women I kept around solely for the purpose of sex was supposed to help me avoid becoming this man again. I didn’t want to be this way. Who would? What man would want to become so focused on a woman when the ending was never in doubt? Rachel had taught me that lesson well. Devoting yourself to one woman—trusting your heart to her even when all the signs said you shouldn’t—was a mistake I never wanted to make again. Until Olivia, no woman had given me any reason to doubt I’d be able to keep that promise to myself. Each one came and went as I wished. If I enjoyed their company, they stayed around. If they became too clingy or began to act like they felt anything more than I did, I got away quickly. Women to sleep with were plentiful, the way it should be. They gave me what I wanted, and I did the same for them. No harm, no foul. I wined and dined them, and then I fucked them. Money gave me the power to have who I wanted, and power gave me control. And control meant I would never again feel the pain of love. Now Olivia had invaded my thoughts, taking control of my days and nights. And me. After staring at my bedroom ceiling for nearly an hour, I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock. 4:12. I picked up my cell phone and swiped the screen to get to my contacts. Scrolling through name after name, I finally threw the phone on the bed next to me. I didn’t want to be with anyone anyway. How the hell had Olivia weaved herself into my brain like this? The woman wasn’t even my type. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. I already loved her reaction to me in our fantasy room. How even my touch brought out a side in her I didn’t believe existed underneath that professional woman who worked next to me. Not that I didn’t like that part of her too. Olivia was smart, sexy, and gorgeous in ways no woman I’d ever met was. I covered my eyes with my forearm and tried to push all that out of my mind. Any other night if I couldn’t sleep, I’d just call someone and in a few minutes, insomnia would be a thing of the past, replaced by sex. It may not have been sleep, but at least it was better than staring at the ceiling or counting sheep. Or thinking about some woman I shouldn’t even dream of touching. Again. In less than twenty-four hours, that was exactly what I intended to do. Olivia had upped the ante by reserving a gold fantasy room. She obviously knew it was me and planned on us sleeping together. Every fiber of my being said not to do it. Don’t shit where you eat. But for every time that maxim repeated in my head, another chimed in to drown it out. She could be the one.

As if that was something I needed or wanted to hear. There was no such thing as “the one.” That was the kind of nonsense romantic comedies traded on to convince women to accept assholes in their lives so they didn’t have to remain single. As if being single wasn’t the best goddamn part of being an adult. I could tell myself all that until I was blue in the face, but the thought that Olivia was something special, someone I should want in my life, just wouldn’t go away. That didn’t mean I had to act like some mopey lovesick boy. All I needed to do was sleep with her and the man I’d worked so hard to become would kick in. She’d be just another one of my conquests and within a few weeks, she’d be out of my system. That’s what had worked with every woman since Rachel, so why wouldn’t it work now? Rachel. It hadn’t necessarily worked with her. But she was different. It took more than just fucking to get a woman like her out of your system, even after she tore your fucking heart out. I squeezed my eyes tightly and tried to push out the thoughts I knew were about to parade through my mind, but it was no use. They were there to stay just like they’d been for nearly five years. I’d tried to drink them away. I’d tried to fuck them away. Nothing worked. They were always right there in my brain making sure I never forgot what happened the one time I trusted another person. My father, the quintessential player, would have a field day with me about this if he was still alive. Married to my mother for nearly twenty years, he fucked around more than any man I’d ever heard of. Fuck, even at the rate Stefan was going, he might never reach my father. Kane’s mother was just one of possibly dozens of women he slept with. I remembered catching him with one of them, some cheap waitress at one of his restaurants who thought he was her dream man come to rescue her from a life of drudgery and too little pay. Little did she realize he was just a cheating bastard who believed having a cock gave him carte blanche to sleep with as many woman as he could before he died. She’d found out like all the rest of them that they were there for his pleasure alone. What they wanted or needed was irrelevant. I’d always admired my father for his ability to have whatever he wanted. That kind of power impressed me growing up. My mother never left him for his cheating, so I thought that’s what being a man meant. Then I met Rachel and my entire world turned upside down. Nineteen and wealthier than I should have been to stay out of trouble, I fell hard for her. Drop dead gorgeous, smart, and manipulative as all fucking hell, I saw nothing but an angel sent from heaven when I looked at her. Long black hair, eyes as dark as onyx, and a desire to please me unlike any other female I’d ever met seduced me to believe she was the one for me. And for a while she was. Against everyone’s advice, I married her a month before I turned twentyone. She was twenty-four and in love with me. Or so I thought. While I lived each day for her, she had other plans. By the time I realized her idea of love was closer to my father’s than mine, it was too late. I swore that night I found out the truth of who she really was I’d never spend another second thinking about anyone’s needs and desires but mine ever again. I’d lived my life by that basic principle, fulfilling my wants and not worrying about others. My cock was happy, and I enjoyed everything life had to offer. And then Olivia showed up and all those feelings I’d pushed down for so long were back in full force. Nothing like Rachel, she somehow had gotten under my skin and made me want to know her. I never wanted to know any woman any more than how their cunts and mouths felt around my cock. Now that had all changed. I dreaded the thought of becoming that Cassian again. That man let himself be distracted once and paid dearly for his mistake. Who was I kidding? I was still paying for it and would for a long time coming. Reaching across the bed, I grabbed my phone and went back to scrolling through my contacts. Cheri. Rachel. Trina. Stopping on Trina’s name, I tapped on the picture of her lying naked and spread-eagled

across her bed and lifted the phone to my ear. She answered seconds later without a trace of sleepiness in her sultry phone sex voice. “Cassian March, what’s new?” Stretching my legs, I closed my eyes and let the memory of my last time with Trina run through my mind. Long black hair, perfect tits, and an ass meant to be backed up against a man, she was one hell of a lay. Perfect for what I needed to forget Olivia. “Trina, just the woman I need tonight.” “Really? You at your place? I can be there in ten.” “Come on over. I’m up.” Moaning into the phone, she purred, “I bet you are. See you in a few.” Throwing the phone back onto the bed, I ran my hand down the front of my silk pajama pants, cupping my already hard cock. With any luck, Trina would do the trick. If not, then maybe I’d have to step up my efforts to get Olivia out of my system.

* “TGIF, BIG BROTHER! YOU DOING anything interesting tonight?” Stefan asked as he barged into my office and sat down in front of my desk at seven o’clock on Friday night. He had a twinkle in his eye, which told me he thought he was being clever or he’d just gotten laid. God above, please let it be that he’s just being clever. Crossing my arms, I stared across my desk at his grinning face. “Nothing that would concern you. Shouldn’t you be out on the floor getting ready?” “I have time. I just thought I’d stop in and see my favorite big brother.” “Favorite? You and Kane on the outs again?” Stefan threw back his head and laughed. “No, but he’s only my half big brother. Not blood like us, Cash.” I leveled my gaze on him, suspicious of his motives. Something was going on. “We all have the same father, Stef. We’re all blood. So what do you want?” He licked his lips like an animal about to feast on prey he’d just killed. “A little birdy told me something interesting and I just thought I’d see how true it is.” I hated when he was like this. It made being civil to him almost impossible. In fact, it made me want to knock the annoying fuck right on his ass. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to my laptop. “I don’t have time for your games, baby brother. Whatever you heard likely isn’t true, and even if it is, it’s likely none of your business.” My dismissal of him didn’t work. Intent on irritating me, he continued. “I hear that one of my brothers has a new woman in his life.” Attempting to remain cool, I shot him a look intended to make him think I didn’t care, but my fingers stilled on my keyboard at what I knew was a reference to Olivia. “Nice to see Kane getting out. I wouldn’t fuck with him and whatever woman he has in his life now. If he doesn’t kick your nosy ass, she likely will.” Stefan laughed again, this time even louder. “As much as the idea of Kane’s possible girlfriend scares the hell out of me, it’s not that brother I’m talking about. I can’t believe you’d keep this a secret from me, Cash. I thought we were closer than that.” I stared at him in amazement. Closer than that? And fucking Kane gossiping to Stefan like some kind of schoolgirl. I thought I could trust him. “There’s nothing to tell, Stefan. Drop it, and tell Kane to drop it

too.” “What’s Kane have to do with this?” Turning away from my computer, I folded my arms across my chest and shot my younger brother a look of disgust. “He’s the one who told you, isn’t he?” “No. Rachel told me the other day at the gym. So who is this mystery woman?” A surge of rage coursed through my veins at the thought of my ex and my brother gossiping about my personal business. And fucking Rachel! Why I ever thought I could trust that conniving bitch was beyond me. “Go away, Stefan, and don’t spend your time believing what my ex has to say,” I bit out, barely able to contain my anger at the two of them. He stood and took a step toward the door before turning around. “I didn’t mean anything bad by that, Cash. I just wondered.” “I’ve told you before, little brother. Don’t stick your nose in my business, unless you want to endanger what you have here.” I turned away from Stefan, not wanting him to see how furious I was about him and Rachel going behind my back once again. He closed the door, and I slammed my hand down on the top of my desk. Fucking bitch! And she wondered why I’d never forgiven her. AT MIDNIGHT, I LEFT MY office and scanned the club for any sight of Stefan. I didn’t need him ruining Olivia’s fantasy, regardless of how I felt about her. I saw him pawing up one of the bartenders behind the bar at the far end of the club, so I quickly headed up the stairs toward the room I knew Olivia would be waiting in, still angry about Stefan’s visit hours before. As if our being blood meant a fucking thing to him. He’d betray me again in a heartbeat, but this time if he did, Olivia could be the one to get hurt. Kane stood at the top of the stairs at his usual perch watching all the action in his area. I had to give it to him. The guy had every chance to fuck dozens of women every night, yet he never did anything to endanger us or the club’s reputation. I could trust my half-brother more than the one I’d grown up with. “Nice to see you again, Cash. It is Friday, though, so not a total surprise.” He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned forward toward me. “By the way, Stefan knows you’ve been seeing someone. He spent two hours earlier tonight pumping me for information. I didn’t tell him anything.” “Thanks, Kane. What room is she in?” I asked, consciously sidestepping any discussion of Stefan and his childish antics. “Halfway down on the right. You’ll see the gold emblem on the door.” Nodding, I left him and headed toward Olivia, strangely needing to see her again like this. After hours of insomnia focused on her, I’d tried to fuck her out of my mind with Trina, but it hadn’t worked. All that happened was I had sex with someone as I pretended it was her. Maybe it was time to admit I wasn’t going to get this woman out of my head until I slept with her. It had worked with every other woman after Rachel, so why wouldn’t it work with this one? Once she admitted she knew it was me there with her, I’d make my move tonight. If I didn’t, I was never going to shake her. I entered the room and found Olivia there sitting silently on the chair with her blindfold on. Instead of the black skirt and beige blouse I’d seen her in all day, she wore a blue sundress and looked innocent and gentle waiting for me. She turned her head toward me as the door clicked closed but said nothing as I approached her. “Hello, Olivia,” I said quietly as stepped next to her. “Hello,” she whispered breathlessly.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” She lifted her hand to touch my shirt and traced the outline of a single button. Lowering her head, she said quietly, “I thought you might not come tonight.” I took her hand in mine and raised it to my lips. Kissing her fingertips, I watched her bite her lower lip as my tongue grazed her skin. “Tell me what you want, Olivia.” Under her blindfold, her brows knitted. As she sat silently, a frown marred her beautiful mouth. I needed to hear her tell me what she wanted and let me know she knew who was seducing her. Finally, she sighed deeply and answered in a tentative voice that hit me deep inside in a place I thought I’d hidden away forever. “I want you.” All I had to do was fuck her and all these things that made her so appealing—so charming that I wanted to let myself be someone who could let her in—all of it would disappear. She’d become just another in the long line of women I kept at arm’s length, around when I wanted them and absent when I didn’t. It was all so simple. Then why the fuck was I standing there wanting to take her in my arms and make love to her like someone who truly cared? “I can give you what you want. All you need to do is let yourself go, Olivia. Can you let yourself go and enjoy this thing between us?” “Yes.” “I want you, Olivia. I want to see you tremble with need as I devour you. I’m going to fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk after I’m done with you.” “Yes,” she said, her voice full of desire as I leaned in to brush my lips against her ear. “If I slide my hand under that pretty dress, will my fingers get wet with your juices?” She whimpered and squeezed her thighs together to ease an ache I knew existed between them. All I had to do was take my cock out and I could have her right there. She was primed. Her mouth searched for mine, slanting over my lips when she found them. Eagerly, her tongue slid against mine, and I imagined how incredible it would feel moving up and down my cock, her head bobbing sweetly as she sucked me off. I held the back of her head and fisted her hair in my hand, tugging roughly even as she mewed her need into my mouth. I wanted her. And as much as I hated to admit it, I needed her. I needed her in my bed. In my life. Olivia’s hands burrowed under my shirt, her nails dragging against my chest as she worked to remove the fabric separating the two of us. The shy girl had blossomed into a woman who knew what she wanted. Her hand slid inside my pants and palmed my cock as she sucked the tip of my tongue in a preview of what I knew those lips would feel like wrapped around me. But still she hadn’t told me she knew it was me. She needed to show me she knew. I’d give her one more chance. Breaking our kiss, I leaned back away from her and watched her beautiful face register her confusion. All she had to do was say my name. “Olivia…” She moved her hands to touch me, but I was just out of her reach as I waited for her to say the one word I needed to hear. Instead, she said, “Please…” I left her sitting there, still waiting to hear my name as I closed the door behind me.

Chapter Eleven

Olivia THE PAIN OF REJECTION STILL stung the next morning as I lay in bed going over every moment of my time with Cash, inside and outside that fantasy room. What had I done wrong? Why did he leave me sitting there just as we were about to finally get together? That man was going to drive me mad. I heard a pounding on my front door, so I dragged myself from the bed to find Josie and Erin standing in the hallway staring at me with expectant faces. “Where’s the fire?” The two of them pushed past me into my living room and took their places on my sofa. I trudged back in, knowing why they were there. Erin stared at me, obviously waiting for me to say something. I looked around, unsure of what to say, until Josie finally spoke up. “We’re here to find out what happened last night. We want the details, and we’re not leaving until we get them.” Just as I’d thought. I slunk over to the chair and plopped down onto it. “Nothing. Not a damn thing happened, unless you’re a fan of some sexy talk and being left hanging.” “What the fuck? I’m beginning not to like Cassian March much,” Josie said with a sneer. Erin reached over to squeeze my arm. “Are you okay, honey?” “I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me or anything like that. I guess I just was hoping he’d want me like I want him.” “Sweetie, you sound horrible. I hate hearing you like this. I feel a little guilty too since we egged you on to do this,” Josie added. “It’s not a big deal, guys.” Their silence as they looked at me with sad eyes made me feel even worse. The new Olivia was just as lame as the old Olivia. Olivia 2.0 had failed miserably in beta testing. “Liv, it is a big deal, not because of him but because of you,” Josie said as she stood and began to pace. I’d seen her do this before when she was trying to unravel a problem in her mind. Part of me wished she would be able to figure this out so I wouldn’t feel so awful about being left high and dry. At least if I could blame it all on something other than being a woman he just didn’t want I could feel better. “You shouldn’t feel like this is about you, honey,” Josie continued. “How is it not about me? I took a chance and put myself out there only to be handed a big fat rejection. Sounds like it’s all about me.” “He’s probably got some baggage you don’t know about,” Erin said in her usual sweet way. “You know, like he can only be with women who don’t intimidate him. That’s probably it.” That didn’t make me feel any better. I’d spent my entire dating life dealing with the fragile male ego, unsure if I should let boyfriends win at everything from poker to friendly games of softball, so to find out that a man like Cash only wanted some weak thing to hang on his arm would make me feel like there was no chance at any happiness for someone like me. “I’ve seen the women he takes out in public, Liv. They’re gorgeous, like you, but other than that, they’re nobody big in business or law or any other career.” Josie’s description of Cash’s other women as gorgeous didn’t help either. I knew, like everyone else,

that there were different types of gorgeous. There was gorgeous your friends said you were, and then there was real gorgeous—the kind that made men fall at a woman’s feet. My feet had never had any attention paid to them. “So what are you guys saying? I should only put myself out there with men who have no problem with smart women? You might have wanted to mention that before you got me all gung ho on the idea of a fantasy room.” Erin hung her head and quietly said, “In my defense, I never realized you were going for your boss. I just thought you’d have a good time and shed some of your inhibitions. I never would have told you to risk your job.” And there it was, the real problem. I hadn’t even thought of that before. I’d been spending all my time nursing my bruised ego when I should have been concerned about losing my job. Fanfuckingtastic. Josie stopped her pacing across the room and pointed at Erin and me. “Oh, don’t even go there. I will get you the finest sexual harassment attorney on the East coast and when he’s done with the March brothers, you’ll be the owner of Club X. I hear one peep about you losing your job, I’ll be on this like white on rice.” I lifted my hand to calm her down. “Relax. Nobody’s losing anything. The only harm here is to my ego. I never even let on that I knew it was him.” Erin narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying you never let him know you knew, Liv?” “Yeah.” “Why?” “What does it matter?” Josie interjected impatiently as she made her pass by us. Turning to face Josie as she walked toward the window, Erin said, “It matters because the male ego is fragile. What man wants to think a woman can’t even recognize his voice as he’s standing there seducing her?” “He must have known she knew, Erin. The man’s not an idiot.” “But Josie, can’t you see? He shows up week after week and she never even lets on that she knows the man there with her is the very man she works with every day. That’s got to bug him.” “It doesn’t matter anyway, guys. He proved he wasn’t interested, and that’s that.” “I disagree, Liv. I don’t think that proves anything.” I looked in amazement at Erin. “Are you suggesting this is my fault?” “No, not really. What I’m saying is that you may not be seeing the real picture. What if all the guy was looking for was some recognition that he was the one getting you all hot and bothered and all you made it look like was you were into some stranger whose voice you didn’t even recognize? I’m just thinking we should try to put ourselves in his place.” Josie began arguing the case against Cash in her usual dogged fashion and pacing even more determinedly, but as Erin’s words sunk in, I began to think I’d played this thing with Cash all wrong. “I never considered that. At first, I didn’t show him I knew who he was because I was so surprised, but then as it kept going, I didn’t know how to bring it up. My fear of rejection mixed with my insecurity over the whole thing added up to me just never saying anything.” “Liv, I say give him one more chance and let him know you know. Reserve another room and see what happens. If after you show him you know it’s him he’s still not into you, then fine. His loss. But I think you have to give him a chance.” Erin’s suggestion sounded like the scariest thing I’d ever heard. Give him another chance to reject me? Was I a masochist now? “I don’t know. I don’t think I can handle him knowing I know and still not wanting me,” I said quietly

as her idea settled into my brain. “I agree,” Josie chimed in as she took her seat on the couch. “Why give him another opportunity to be a dick? I say walk away.” “But you were the one who told me to take the chance with him. Now I’m just supposed to give up?” Neither of my friends said anything for a long time, but finally Josie answered, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Liv. What if he’s playing some kind of game?” I looked over at Erin, hoping for some counterbalance to Josie’s natural suspicious nature. “Nothing to add?” She shook her head. “I still stand by my hopeful suggestion. Give him one more chance and let him know, but I will add this. If you like him, I think you have to take the chance. The question is, do you like him?” Looking away, I avoided their gazes as I admitted the truth. “I do like him. It’s been a long time since anyone has made me want them as much as Cash. I liked how I felt when we were in the fantasy room. I’d like to see if we can be that outside Club X.” “Then there’s your answer. I think even our resident cynic here would agree. Go for it!” Josie scowled at being called a cynic, but Erin was right about her and my situation. “Okay, I’ll give him one more chance, but I’m not waiting until next Friday. I’m sure Kane tells him when I reserve a room, so I’m going to get one for Monday night. Olivia Version 2.0 might be braver, but she’s impatient.” “Now that makes me happy,” Josie said as she elbowed Erin. “At least if she’s going to do it, she’s going to do it on her timetable.” I reached over to grab my laptop and logged into my work email. Typing an email to Kane, I let him know I wanted to reserve a gold level fantasy room with the same man at midnight on Monday. Then I clicked Send, and that was that. Now the ball was in Cash’s court or soon would be. Looking up at my friends, I pressed a smile onto my lips even as my insides began to shake from the real fear that Cash really wasn’t that into me. “There. It’s done.” Josie steepled her fingers and cocked one perfect eyebrow. “Now we wait.” “Thanks for the evil villain thing there,” I joked. “How long does it usually take for Kane to confirm a reservation?” Erin asked. I looked down at my work email and clicked refresh, sure that he wasn’t even awake at that time on a Saturday. “Not long, but he keeps much later hours than I do. He probably just got to bed a couple hours ago.” “Sounds sexy. I need to find a man like that instead of the workaholics I keep dating,” Josie said. “He’s the scary brother, right? I could handle scary, don’t you think?” “I’d be more worried about him,” I said with a chuckle. “All joking aside, now that he doesn’t scare the hell out of me every time I see him, I sort of can see what someone would find attractive about Kane. He’s got a dark thing about him.” As Erin began asking for more details on Kane, my email dinged and I looked to see his reply. “I was wrong. He’s already emailed back. Here’s what he has to say. ‘Monday night is confirmed for a gold room with all the same components. Reserved for midnight in Room 12. Please follow the same instructions as always.’” “He’s as personal as my credit card company when they explain why they’re raising my interest rate, Liv. Does it always sound like that?” I nodded at Josie’s question. “Yeah. Nothing new there. I’m just surprised he replied so soon.” “It’s a sign. I say it’s a good sign,” Erin said in her chipper voice. “Let’s hope so.” I steepled my fingers and grinned. “Now we wait.”

* I’D NEVER WORKED LATE ON a Monday night, so I was surprised at how many people actually partied at Club X on the first working day of the week. I’d obviously been missing out on a lot of life. Cash and Stefan had been out of the club all day, only showing up in time for the crowds to appear. I tried to get a sense of Cash, but other than being professional and friendly, I couldn’t get a vibe from him. Just before midnight, I poked my head into his office and found him sitting behind his desk wearing a serious expression. He looked up at me and smiled. “Decided to work the late shift tonight?” “I did. I have plans tonight, so it worked out.” I watched for any change in his expression, but I saw none. That didn’t mean anything, though. It’s not like he was anything but cool in the office on most days, so I tried not to read anything into it. “Have a nice night, Olivia.” “Thanks! See you later.” As I made my way upstairs through the crowds dancing to the techno music, I worked to still my jitters about what I was about to do. It was a big step, but Erin was right. I had to take this chance. I flashed a smile at Kane as I passed him at the top of the stairs and headed to my assigned fantasy room. I’d chosen a very informal sundress for work that day, so all I had to do was tie the blindfold around my head and wait. Like every other night, my other senses kicked into overdrive once my vision was taken away. Each creak of the floor outside in the hallway put me on edge as I wondered if the noise signaled Cash’s arrival. Wiping my sweaty hands on my thighs, I tried to remain calm even as the reality that it was all going to be laid on the line in just minutes hung over my head. I took a deep breath and let it out. I could do this. The sound of the door opening made my heart pound, and I sat up straight on the chair, ready for him. He closed the door, and I quickly licked my dry lips, hoping my nervousness didn’t leave me with cottonmouth. I sensed him standing in front of me and took the initiative. It was now or never, but I wanted him to see my eyes when I spoke to him. Sliding the blindfold off my face, I stared in amazement at the man looking down at me. “Where is Cash?” “He’s not coming.” Leaping off the chair, I angrily threw the blindfold on the couch. “Kane, what the hell is going on? I said I wanted the same person, so why isn’t he here?” Kane simply stared at me, his blue eyes hard. “I don’t know, Olivia. I just know he said he wasn’t coming.” I couldn’t decide if I was hurt, humiliated, or angry. They all mixed together inside me like some emotional stew. Whatever I was feeling, I wanted some damn answers. I deserved better than having his half-brother give me some vague bullshit answer. If Cash didn’t want to do this anymore, he damn well better be prepared to tell me himself. As I stormed down to the first floor, my brain filled with what I wanted to say to him. Who the fuck did he think he was? I wasn’t some bimbo plaything he could just throw aside when things got too real. If he didn’t want me, he was going to have to be a man about it and tell me to my face. The crowd nearly parted as I walked through the nightclub. I imagined my expression told people to get the fuck out of my way, but I didn’t care. Hell hath no fury like a woman who wanted answers! I knocked on his office door and didn’t even wait for him to invite me in. Throwing the door open, I

saw him sitting in front of his laptop as he had been earlier, like leaving me waiting up there in that fantasy room was perfectly okay. I marched up to the front of his desk, placed my palms on the glass top, and when he turned to look at me, stared straight into his eyes. “What the fuck is your problem?” His eyes flashed emotion for the briefest moment—anger or maybe confusion—and then he was calm again. “Excuse me?” Leaning toward him, I said even louder, “Excuse me nothing. There’s no excuse for what you did.” “Oh, so now you admit you knew it was me all along.” His statement surprised me, and I stood up to my full height, folding my arms across my chest. “So that’s what this is about? Is this a punishment because I didn’t show you I knew?” Cash calmly closed his laptop and pushed his chair back away from his desk. “I don’t want to have this conversation, Olivia.” My blood pressure soared, and I felt my heartbeat hammering in my ears. “So that’s it? You decide you don’t want to tell me what the fuck tonight was about and I’m supposed to be okay with that?” “You wanted to feel what it was like to not be in control all the time, so no, you don’t get to demand any answers from me.” I stood staring at him, stunned at how cold he seemed compared to the man I’d grown to respect at work and the one who’d driven me half out of my mind with desire in our private room. “Are you kidding?” He stood from his chair and straightened the knot in his black silk tie. “I simply decided I didn’t want to continue our time together.” “And that’s it? Don’t fucking pretend that you didn’t enjoy our time together, as you call it.” Cash appeared to consider my words for a moment before he returned to fiddling with his damn tie. Brushing a piece of lint off it, he said, “I don’t deny that I enjoyed it. I simply decided I didn’t want to continue it.” “You’re an asshole, you know that? You knew I liked you, and still you left me sitting there tonight and had your brother tell me you weren’t showing up.” I felt tears building up inside me from the anger I couldn’t seem to express well enough. His icy answers stopped me dead in my tracks, leaving me unable to tell him exactly how shitty he’d treated me. I watched for any reaction to my words, but all he did was brush off his fucking tie. “Look at me! Stop fiddling around with your goddamned tie! Is this how you are to people you care about? I know you were into me. I know you liked spending time with me. I’m not stupid, Cash. I may be shy, but I know when someone likes me. Why are you acting like this?” He looked up from his tie and those stunning blue eyes of his stared directly into mine. “You seem to know my name well enough now, Olivia.” “Don’t do this. If I did something to offend you, I didn’t mean to. That doesn’t mean I deserved to be humiliated upstairs.” Cash ran his hand through his short hair and took a deep breath, as if he was working to keep himself calm. I didn’t want him calm. I wanted to know how a man who could be so bothered by me not admitting it was him there with me in that fantasy room could be so cold to me now. “Good night, Olivia.”

Chapter Twelve

Olivia I WASN’T GOING TO LET it drop like that. As he stood there behind his desk, I marched around it to stand right in front of him. I wasn’t sure what to do next, but I wasn’t going to let this go. “No! I want an answer from you. I know you wanted me like I wanted you, so why are you acting like this?” He stared down at me with a look that was ice cold and searing hot at the same time. I felt the heat coming off him and knew whatever he was saying wasn’t how he truly felt. Moving closer to him, I lowered my voice. “Cash, I just want to understand what’s going on.” “I don’t think that’s what you really want, Olivia.” He stepped forward, his chest brushing against my breasts making my nipples squeeze into hardened peaks. Lifting his arm, he pressed his palm against the wall, trapping me, and looked down. “So what do you really want, Olivia?” “I’m not doing this little show for you. You want me to tell you I want you so you can throw it back in my face because I didn’t let you know I knew it was you there with me.” My hands shook at my side as he continued to stare down at me so intently. A tiny lick of fear flickered in the back of my brain at the chance that I didn’t know Cassian March as well as I thought I did. I’d always seen him as a calm, almost cool person, not easily ruffled, but maybe that controlled façade was just that—a façade meant to hide something far more violent that lived inside him. The problem was that even as I shook in fear at what might happen next, part of me had never been more turned on by any other man. I waited for him to react to my refusal to play along like we were still in the fantasy room, unsure what to do but knowing I wanted him more than ever. “So instead of just going after what you want, you’re going to stand there like a little girl angry that you don’t get what you want. Is that it, Olivia?” “Fuck you! Fuck you and your games. I should have just trusted my instincts about you.” He stepped closer, his body pressing full against mine, but never broke his stare into my eyes. Low and deep, he asked, “And what did those instincts tell you?” My defensiveness kicked into high gear and before I could stop them, the words I knew would hurt him most tumbled out of my mouth. “That the only March who could ever show me a good time is Stefan.” I turned to look away, but I was too slow. His expression morphed into one so full of anger that I instinctively moved to run. He grabbed my arms and pushed me back against the wall as his leg pressed into my thighs just above my knee. In a voice so low I barely heard it, he said, “Then you should have played your game with him, little girl.” Every way I turned, I saw his face. It was the face of betrayal, and I’d done that. I didn’t mean to. I’d just lashed out without thinking and before I knew it, those horrible words had come out. Instantly feeling awful, I quietly stammered, “I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” “I know what you meant,” he bit out. “And you were wrong.” He released his hold on my arms and backed away like I disgusted him. All at once, my fear turned to disappointment at myself and the entire situation. I hadn’t wanted this to turn out this way. Suddenly feeling alone even as he stood there in front of me, I reached out and grazed his shirt sleeve with my fingertips, hoping to stop him from leaving.

My touch surprised him, and he looked up at me with eyes so full of intensity I had to believe he cared and there was a chance I could make up for what I’d said. If I didn’t do something now, he’d leave and we might never know if there could have been something between us. So I stepped toward him and before I could chicken out, I kissed him full on the lips. It was crazy and stupid and I’d never felt more vulnerable. If this was never going to be anything real between us, at least I’d be able to say I’d conquered my fears and done everything I could to make this happen. His lips hardened against mine as he fought kissing me, but gradually they softened and he kissed me with a passion he’d never shown me in our fantasy room. I felt like I was burning up as his mouth devoured mine, like at any moment the two of us would be consumed by our desires if we kept this up. But I didn’t want to stop, and if the way his tongue slid over mine was any indication, he didn’t want to stop either. My hand clung to the back of his neck, desperate to have him closer. His cologne filled my nose, a powerful male scent that added another layer of need to my desire. He was sensory overload, taking my mind and body to a level I wasn’t sure I knew how to handle. He pushed his hips forward, thrusting so his cock pressed long and hard against the front of my dress. I wanted to feel him—feel his skin against mine instead of through the barrier of our clothing. I knew it might look eager, but I angled my hips upward like he was fucking me, needy for some release after everything I’d felt that night. “Olivia…” His voice was thick with passion and the promise of more. I wanted more. I wanted it all. My core clenched at the thought of actually having more from Cash. Just kissing, he overwhelmed me, nearly taking my breath away. He intimidated me and enthralled me, all at the same time. Outside his office door, the rhythm of the music pounded like the beat of my heart, each moment faster and faster as we shared this moment together. He directed me toward the conference room behind his office, never once breaking his kiss. As the realization of what was about to happen settled into my brain, I opened my eyes to see the man I was about to sleep with. I needed to see he wasn’t that cold fuck anymore but the sensual man who’d thrilled me every Friday for the past month. Cash stopped moving as we entered the other room, and for a moment I worried whatever magical something I’d thought we shared was all in my mind. Crestfallen and confused at the change in momentum, I saw instead that he hadn’t stopped to reconsider but to begin undressing. He looked at me seductively with those gorgeous blue eyes as he loosened his tie, sliding it from around his neck before he threw it over one of the high backed chairs that ringed the long, mahogany conference table. My eyes followed it and watched as the black silk tie slid like it was in slow motion down the back of the black leather chair. He spoke, drawing my attention back to him as he stood there unbuttoning his sapphire blue dress shirt. “Are we still playing the game we started upstairs, Olivia?” I didn’t know how to answer him. This had never been a game to me. At first, it had just been to prove to myself and the girls that I wasn’t as boring as they thought—that I could be that sexy woman I’d always wanted to be. Then once I knew it was Cash, our time together began to truly fulfill my fantasy about him. He was sexy and irresistible, the gorgeous public face of the most exclusive club in town, and in that fantasy room, he wanted me, shy and inexperienced Olivia. Now, I didn’t know what this was to either of us. To him, it was likely just another night of sex which he likely had more often than I changed my underwear. To me…to me it was more. I was probably the world’s biggest fool, but I wanted it to be the beginning of something bigger than just great sex. He shrugged out of his shirt, revealing a muscular body filled with tattoos. For a moment, I stood there in shock, amazed that the straight-laced and serious businessman who sat behind that glass desk in his minimalist office hid a totally different person under those tailored dress shirts and thousand dollar suits

he wore. His left arm was covered from his shoulder down to his elbow with an intricate dragon in hues of dark and light green with gold eyes, and it looked like another design had been outlined on his right bicep. Visually stunning, those tattoos were nothing compared to the one that stretched in an arc across his broad chest. Black and red letters spelled out the words LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen a more perfectly chosen tattoo on anyone. I couldn’t help but stare, not only at the tattoos and his pierced right nipple but also at how stunning his body was. I’d only ever seen him fully dressed in a suit and tie, and even upstairs as I ran my hands over him in the darkness of that blindfold, I never could have imagined him being so well-built. My eyes traveled down from his toned pecs to a set of abs honed washboard perfect and cut hipbones angling down toward the bulge that still remained hidden beneath his pants. By the time I realized I hadn’t answered his question, he wore nothing from the waist up and was slowly sliding his belt from around his waist. My mind reeling, I mumbled, “No game,” as I stood on wobbly legs not sure what to do next. He’d upended all my bravado the moment he’d taken off his shirt and showed me he wasn’t that stern March brother, gorgeous but all business. That man had seemed somewhere close to my league. Now as I stared in adulation at the man who stood in front of me, I knew Cassian March was so far out of my league I wasn’t even sure we played by the same rules. Hell, I wasn’t even sure we played the same game. “I like the way you’re looking at me, Olivia.” “Why do you say my name all the time?” I asked, immediately feeling awkward as he stepped close to me, running his fingertips over my shoulders. “Because there’s no sweeter sound to the human ear than the sound of one’s name.” Jesus, why did everything he said seem so effortlessly sexy? As I stared up at him, unsure of what to say to that, he dipped his head and placed a soft kiss just below my ear. Closing my eyes, I tried to let myself enjoy this moment, but the reality that I didn’t know what to do with someone like Cash wouldn’t leave my mind. Sensing my fear, he trailed his tongue up to the shell of my ear and whispered, “Relax.” “I don’t…I think…” I wanted to stop, to say that I wasn’t the type of woman for him, but all I could do was stammer those few words out. He lifted his head and cradled my face in his hands. Looking down into my eyes with a gaze so sure, he smiled. “We both need this, maybe even more than we want it.” “But what about work and…and…everything else?” I asked in meek protest, my insecurities raging. “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t fire you. Everything else means nothing. Unless I’m not the man you want?” “No! That’s not what I meant at all.” Was it possible he wasn’t as confident as I thought? He slowly ran his tongue along the seam of his lips and smiled. “Then relax, Olivia, because you’re the woman I want.” Something in the way he said those words eased whatever doubts lingered inside my brain, and I let a feeling of genuine anticipation take me over. I wanted to know what it felt to sleep with this man. I wanted to believe whatever else I was, I could be that sexy woman with him. His mouth covered mine in a kiss so sensual it felt like a jolt traveled straight from his tongue to between my legs. From that moment, I was lost. Whatever he wanted, I’d give him. I felt his fingers gently tug my dress off my shoulders and then his strong hands were cupping my breasts. He gently rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, sending waves of pleasure through me. Pushing the dress down my body, I stepped out of it as it hit the floor, barely conscious of the fact that I stood there in just panties and pumps.

Everywhere his fingers touched excited me. I wanted to feel them on the most sensitive parts of my body, bringing me to that sweet edge and over it as I came. I reached out to touch him, dying to feel what hung between his legs. I’d fantasized about that part of him since the first day I walked into his club, never truly believing I’d find out what he felt like inside me. Tugging his zipper down, I brazenly reached my hand in to gently squeeze his cock in my hand, amazed by its size as I began to stroke him from root to tip. Thick and hot against my palm, he was harder and bigger than any man I’d ever slept with. “Mmmmm…don’t stop,” he whispered as the thought of his size began to make me slow my strokes just as my hand touched the swollen tip. “Right there, baby.” Cash buried his hands in my hair, pulling me to him, and I heard him groan again as my thumb grazed the spot just below the head of his cock. He was rock hard yet so silky in my hand, and with each ragged moan I grew more and more confident. There he was standing in front of me loving what I was making him feel. His mouth crushed against mine, and he thrust his tongue into my mouth like it was his to do with as he pleased. Whatever control I thought I had evaporated in a fleeting moment as he transformed from a man receiving pleasure to one taking what he desired. He was intoxicating, and I couldn’t get enough of him. Pushing a chair out of the way, Cash backed me up until I felt the edge of the conference table against the back of my thighs. He wrapped his hands around my waist and picked me up, easing me back onto the cool surface of the polished wood table. My legs hung off the end, rather indelicately leaving me wide open as he remained standing. I looked up at him, hoping he’d soon save me from this embarrassing position. He unbuttoned his pants and let them drop, revealing no boxers or briefs underneath. Feeling awkward, I instinctively joked, “Commando? I would’ve never guessed.” I received a smile and moan in return for my moment of humor. “Come here,” he groaned as he tugged me toward him. I slid down the table until I felt the crown of his cock press full against my opening. A tiny whimper escaped from my throat at the feel of its thickness. Cash simply smiled and slowly ran his hand up my thigh to stroke my needy clit. “Relax. You look so beautiful lying there. Let yourself go, Olivia. You’re ready.” To prove that to me, he slid his finger inside me with long, slow strokes that sent waves of pleasure tearing through me. I hadn’t been touched there is so long I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t come just from his delicious finger fucking me. “So fucking tight. God, I want to be inside you.” I gave him a meek smile, but my heart slammed against my chest at the thought of him fitting inside me. Closing my eyes, I heard him tear a condom package open. He planted his hands on both sides of my head and kissed me full on the lips. Then I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with those blue eyes so intense as he slowly eased into me, each inch filling me so completely that I couldn’t imagine being able to take any more. He sensed how unsure I was and stopped for a moment to lightly massage my sensitive clit, sending more waves of exquisite pleasure through me and allowing me to take more of him. The combination of his finger drawing those tiny circles on my clit and his cock deep inside me filling me like I’d never been filled before thrilled me. I wrapped my legs around his waist to accommodate all of him, feeling deliciously stretched by the time he was fully seated in me. “You feel so good, Olivia. I promise I’ll go slow.” He inched out of me, leaving me empty and missing the feel of him. As he promised, he slid back into my body slowly, ratcheting up my desire and filling me once again. Kissing me hard, Cash grunted into my

mouth as the base of his cock stretched my opening. My body ached, a sweet pang forming in the pit of my stomach, making me want more. He eased out of me again, but I slid my feet down his back and pushed my heels against the base of his spine. “Cash…faster…please…” Raising himself up above me, he flashed me a look of concern. “You sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” Cupping the back of his neck, I pulled him back down to kiss him, my body begging for more. “Yes. Faster. Fuck me faster.” Cash narrowed his eyes in a sexy smoldering look. “Mmmm…such words coming from that pretty mouth of yours. Faster it is.” Rearing back, he slammed his long, thick cock in until he was balls deep inside me and then retreated from my body only to crash into me again. He was power personified, and with every plunge into my willing body, I wanted more. I wanted to finally live my fantasy of having no control. Deep inside, a tiny kernel of release began to form, weaving its way through my body as Cash continued to fuck me. His deep grunts filled my ears with every thrust of his cock into my body. He was animalistic and primal, unlike any man I’d ever slept with. I felt small and vulnerable. And out of control. I loved it! My orgasm curled through my core, a tiny exquisite sensation that grew with each moment. Sliding my hands down over his shoulders, I dug my nails into Cash’s back and moaned, “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” His abs and chest, hard and unyielding, slid over my breasts and nearly crushed me under his weight. I lay there helpless underneath him and clutching him like I couldn’t get enough of this man. I was already sore, but I never wanted the feeling of him inside me to end. My body clenched around his thick cock to signal the beginning of my orgasm. Crying out, I struggled to hold on to him as he pistoned into me, grunting his pleasure deep in my ear. “Let yourself go, baby. Let me see you come.” “Ah, God, Cash! Don’t stop!” He watched as I came, his blue eyes focused on me as I bit my lip and scratched down his back like a wild animal. Never before had I come so hard, my thighs shaking violently against his hips as the last of my release wound through me. But his was yet to come. I felt every muscle in his back tighten and tense. He buried his face in my hair and let out a long deep groan as he buried his cock completely inside me. “Fuck…” We lay there silently for a long time, still joined together on that conference table as the sounds of the nightclub outside his office began to once again drift in to where we’d just had sex for the first time. It felt secret and sexy. When Cash raised his head, he licked his lips and kissed me, making me feel sexy too. “Olivia, that was incredible.” I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something in the way he said that made me feel open and selfconscious. Forcing a smile, I nodded, hoping he couldn’t see my insecurities rearing their ugly heads. Nothing was unsexier than looking needy after sex. Letting my hands drop from their hold on his back, I forced myself to sound confident. “It was.” He slid out of me, and a feeling of emptiness joined my insecurities. I knew it was foolish. What had I expected—the two of us lying there for hours in each other’s arms as we drifted off to sleep? We’d just fucked on the table in the Club X conference room. Cuddling wasn’t on the menu. I stood to put my dress back on as he slipped back into his clothes. Watching him, I took in the last sight of his beautiful body, sad to see it covered up with his dress shirt and pants. Unsure of what to say as

we finished dressing, I fidgeted with my shoes to avoid feeling any more awkward. Cash seemed entirely at home with this part of the night, though. Adjusting the knot in his tie, he once again did that brushing off movement he’d done earlier and then looked up at me. “You were incredible, Olivia.” Two mentions of that word made me certain I’d been anything but that, but he pulled me into him and kissed me full on the lips and my insecurities disappeared, at least for the moment. “I promise I won’t act strange tomorrow. I’ll be the same stiff Cassian March I’ve always been.” “Well, you have a reputation to keep.” He laughed at my joke, but I’d subconsciously been referring to his other reputation that now seemed to take up so much of my mind. Cash dated the most beautiful women in town, and undoubtedly, he slept with them too. As he escorted me out to his office, that’s all I could think about. Yes, I’d gone into this whole thing with him with my eyes wide open, but now I didn’t want to go back to being simply his assistant. I tried to read his expression to see if he felt anything for me, but there was nothing but that cool man who was all business in front of me now. He kissed me again, soft but without all that passion that had been in his kiss before, and told me he’d see me the next day. We parted ways, boss and assistant once again, no matter how much I wished that wasn’t all we were.

Chapter Thirteen

Cassian I WATCHED OLIVIA WALK OUT into the nightclub looking sexier than any woman should without a man on her arm. I should have stopped her or taken her home, but I was already regretting having sex with her. Whatever was happening between us couldn’t happen, no matter how much I wished it could. I’d thought I’d avoided going any further with her when I left Kane to deal with her. It was a shitty thing to do, but my ego was making the decisions then. Too fucking bad my ego hadn’t stayed in control. Instead, my heart thought it should weigh in on the issue of Olivia and what had just happened proved there would be no fucking her out of my system. This couldn’t happen. I ran my hand through my hair before I headed out into the club for a drink. Tonight definitely called for a stiff one. Stopping at the end of the bar, I raised my hand to call one of the bartenders over. A tiny blonde, she leaned over to hear my order over the music and give me a full view of her tits. I had to assume Stefan’s workers thought this was some way to ensure job security since they acted like this every time I came out into the club for a drink. “Give me a Makers, neat.” The blonde answered with something I couldn’t hear and a smile, and I was thankful the music was so loud. I wasn’t in the mood for her thing tonight. From behind me I heard, “Hey, Cash! I didn’t realize you were still here.” Stefan. I thought about not answering him, but there was no point in ignoring him. He’d just keep talking. Turning around, I saw him wearing a shit-eating grin and instantly the thought ran through my mind that he’d seen Olivia and me together. “What’s up, Stefan?” “What are you doing here? I thought you were going home early tonight. Kane mentioned something about it, so I figured you were gone already.” The blonde returned with my drink, and grabbing it, I took a gulp and pressed a smile onto my face. “Just leaving.” “Hey, I thought I saw Olivia leaving a few minutes ago. Maybe you should take it easy on her. Don’t want to ride her too hard.” “I have no idea. I didn’t see her since this afternoon.” I watched Stefan’s expression for any evidence that he knew I was lying, but the blond bartender had caught his eye and he set off to likely cost us more money in legal fees. It was time for me to leave. The club had nothing to offer me other than work, and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate much anyway. BY WEDNESDAY, I’D AVOIDED THE club for two days and worked from home, even blowing off a charity function for the new bayside park because I just didn’t have any interest in seeing the same people as always who traveled the circuit. They’d gotten my check, so it wasn’t like the important part of me hadn’t shown up. Standing in front of my window overlooking the bay, I looked out at the action taking place at the end of the day I never saw from my office at the club. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was avoiding

Olivia. The sex had been great. No, great was the wrong word for it. I hadn’t enjoyed fucking a woman like that in a long time. Something in the way she’d shed her inhibitions so willingly charmed me. The physical feeling had been off the charts incredible, but even more the emotional connection had made it one of the best nights I’d ever had with a woman. That was the problem. If all we were was good sex, I’d have been back at work bright and early Tuesday morning at eleven and planning for the next time she and I could revisit that conference room table. I’d be planning on how to wine and dine her around town to get her back to my bed whenever I wanted her. That routine I knew well. Fuck, I’d mastered that routine. Sex meant a connection between my cock and a woman’s cunt. No more, no less. Emotions had nothing to do with it. I’d made sure of that since Rachel. This thing with Olivia smashed all my nonchalant ideas about sex to pieces and left me with no way to know what to do with her. I’d promised myself never to let another woman get close to me again after what happened with Rachel, and now some part of me whispered quietly in my brain that this woman was worth a chance. My mind went back to the moment I became the man who wanted nothing to do with truly being with a woman again. I remembered it like it happened yesterday. Even now, years later, the events of that night were as vivid and real to me as if I was experiencing them today. Rachel stood beside me as the line of people filing into the club moved past us, thrilled to be a part of the biggest night all year at Club X—the Halloween Ball, known throughout west Florida as the wildest party around. Nobody did Halloween raunchier or more debauched than my club. I turned to slide my arm around her, the woman I adored as my wife and who tonight was dressed as the sexiest cat I’d ever seen. But everything about her was the sexiest I’d ever seen. Just a few years older, Rachel had schooled me in so many things about women, and I’d fallen hard and fast for her. I woke every morning more in love than the day before, and as I ended each day deep inside her, I would have given up everything I owned with just a word from her gorgeous mouth. I was as lost as any man had ever been for a woman he loved. “Cash, let’s go join your brothers at the bar. You don’t have to be at the door to greet your customers and the party’s about to get started.” Her wish was my command, so we walked over to stand next to Stefan and Kane, my arm instinctively wrapping around her waist as we stopped in front of them. My younger brother was all compliments for her cat costume, and Rachel lapped them up like a kitten with a saucer of milk. Twirling out of my hold, she showed him her tail, shaking her gorgeous ass for him so he could see it move. “Isn’t this costume adorable?” she cooed. Kane looked away, interested more in the crowd and his job upstairs than my wife. Never his type, they tolerated each other more than anything else. Kane preferred a far more submissive female, something Rachel definitely wasn’t. Stefan, on the other hand, enjoyed all women, without exception. To say he didn’t discriminate would be an understatement. Rachel backed up toward Stefan and said, “Feel it! It’s fake fur, but it feels so real.” Shooting me a look, Kane raised his eyebrows as Stefan stroked her long, black tail, pulling it up to tickle her neck. “It does feel real.” I pulled her back next to me and leaned close to her to whisper, “I can’t wait to use that tail when we get home.”

She turned her back on my brothers and ran her hands over my chest. Smiling up at me, she winked. “That’s not all I want you to use when we get home.” When she said things like that, I had to fight the urge to steal her away to my office and make love to her right there on my desk. Looking down into her almost black eyes, I smiled. “Do you know how much I love you?” I closed my eyes to push the memory of that night from my mind. Fixating on it did no good, so there was no point. I couldn’t change what happened. A knock on the front door tore me from my misery, and I opened it to see Olivia standing there still in her work clothes and staring up at me with big eyes. So much for avoiding her. “What are you doing here?” “It’s nice to see you too, Cash. Can I come in?” Moving off to the side, I nodded. “Sure. Come in.” She walked past me and began looking around my condo as I closed the door. By the time I’d joined her, she was at the window admiring the view. “This is stunning, Cash! I love this view!” “It’s pretty nice. Definitely one of the selling points when I bought the place.” Turning to face me, she rolled her eyes. “Always so understated. If you saw the view I have, you’d say this was stunning.” I forced a smile and nodded, but there was no denying the tension between us. Olivia was an intelligent woman. She knew I’d been avoiding her. How she’d approach that fact remained to be seen. A sheepish look crossed her face. “I hope you haven’t been sick. I noticed you haven’t been in work for the last two days.” “No, I’m fine.” A long lull followed my denial and then she said, “That’s good. I’d hate to hear you were under the weather.” She stood there with that sweet look on her face, but I knew we couldn’t continue this for much longer. “Would you like to sit down?” “Sure.” We sat down on the very couch where I’d told Rachel I didn’t want to see her anymore. Then I’d been unsure how I felt about Olivia but wanted to explore whatever there was between us. Now I knew how I felt, but I couldn’t act on it. She looked around like she needed to memorize my every inch of my home. “You have a really nice place.” This was even worse than I’d imagined our first conversation after the other night would be. We’d spent some incredible time together, and now we sat there exchanging pleasantries like two people waiting for a bus or stuck in a waiting room at a doctor’s office. “Olivia, what are you doing here?” Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and hung her head. “I guess I’m not too slick, am I? I want you to know it took every ounce of courage I possess to come here, so if you’re going to tell me you don’t even like me enough to talk to me other than at work, I’m not sure I can promise I’m going to handle it well.” I touched my fingertip to her chin to force her to look at me. “I do like you, Olivia, and more than just to talk to you at work.” That smile she so rarely gave me lit up her face. “That’s good. I mean, I’m not a fool. I know that the other night probably didn’t mean much to you. I know I’m not your usual type of woman you spend time

with.” She wasn’t wrong. My usual type didn’t look like her or act like her, but most of all, they didn’t make me feel much of anything. Not that caring about her was any good for either of us. I knew how this would end. “You’re smart and fun, but it’s true. You aren’t my usual type.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth had I realized I should have said something more romantic. What kind of woman wants to hear she’s smart when she’s comparing herself physically to other women? My answer registered on her face in a frown, and she leapt to her feet. “I’m going to leave. This was a mistake. I’m sorry.” I reached out to grab hold of her, but she slid out of my grasp and nearly ran away from me. Chasing after her, I caught her just as she opened the door. Pushing it closed, I tried to find the right words to say. “Don’t leave. It’s okay.” Still facing the door, she said quietly, “No, it’s not okay. I thought that maybe if I came over here you wouldn’t want to avoid me anymore. I thought that maybe you liked me like I like you, but the only person doing the liking is me. It’s better if I go.” Her voice was so full of sadness that I already regretted every mistake I’d made that had brought me to that point. I didn’t want to hurt her. I just couldn’t give her what she wanted. “Olivia, turn around. I want to talk to you.” She sighed and slowly turned around to face me. Staring up at me with big brown eyes so full of fear, she bit her lip nervously. “Okay.” “I liked what happened the other night. I don’t want you to think I didn’t. But I’m not able to give you what you deserve.” “And what’s that?” she asked, her tone defensive. I struggled to find the right words but then just said the painful truth. “You deserve to be with a man who can at least promise you the future might include something long-term. I can’t do that. Not now, anyway.” A look of relief came over her. “That’s what you thought? That I wanted you to profess your undying love and commit your life to me? I guess I really do have that good girl thing going on. Cash, I don’t expect anything exclusive.” “You don’t?” “No,” she said with a smile. “I just hoped we wouldn’t have just that one night. I’m not going to deny that I’m definitely attracted to you, and I think you’re attracted to me.” She was trying to be brave, but I felt her body tremble. I saw it in her eyes too. She was afraid. Not of me, but at what I might say at any moment to crush all her bravado. I wouldn’t do that to her, though. Other women? Yeah. But not Olivia. I leaned forward to trap her inside my arms. Sliding my thumb over her cheek, I smiled, liking how close we were. “I am definitely attracted to you. I have been since the first day you walked into the club.” “Really?” Nodding, I tucked her hair behind her ear and dipped my head. “Yeah. Then when Kane told me you’d reserved a room, I decided I’d be the one to be in there with you.” Olivia looked up at me and grinned a sexy smile. “Oh. Was there someone else who was supposed to do that since you’re one of the owners, or do you often drop in on female members’ fantasies?” I liked this woman. She was smart and sweet at the same time, and in my experience, those were hard to come by in someone. “Kane wanted to send in one of his guys. I didn’t think he was right for the job,

though.” “I see.” She arched one eyebrow and gave me a skeptical look. “I have to know something. Were you planning to ever sleep with me in that room?” Shaking my head, I said, “No.” “Oh. Even when I reserved a gold fantasy?” I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her. “No. You’re too good to fuck in some generic fantasy room.” “So you did plan to sleep with me then?” I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my lips. “No.” The hurt was evident all over her face. Her dark eyes narrowed, as if she was in pain, and she said, “Then what the fuck am I doing here? Is this the icy cold Cash from the other night because if it is, he can go fuck…” Before she said something we might both regret, I stopped her with a hard kiss, my tongue sliding into her mouth as I pushed my hips forward to let her know how excited she’d already gotten me. Her body melted into mine as all her anger and defensiveness faded away. Trailing my lips across her cheek, I gently sunk my teeth into her earlobe before I said, “As for what he can fuck, he’s already made his choice.” There was nothing else to say. I wanted her, and I wasn’t going to wait or try to fight what I felt for her. I didn’t exactly know what I planned to do about all those reasons I shouldn’t continue this with Olivia, but I liked how she made me feel. As long as I kept her at arm’s length, we’d be fine. Sliding my hands down her back, I cupped her gorgeous ass and picked her up to carry her over to the couch. I laid her down and eased my fingers under her dress and panties to find her pussy wet and waiting for me. She arched her back to give me a better angle, and I slipped one finger inside her. She was burning up, but I saw her wince as a second finger joined the first. “Is something wrong?” “No. Just still a little sore,” she answered shyly, like she was embarrassed. I lifted her dress and peeled off her panties. Bared to me, her pussy was perfect but a little too pink. I’d been a little too rough our first time. Looking up, I ran my tongue over her wet slit and gently sucked her clit between my lips. “I don’t want to hurt you, so we’re going to have to figure out a Plan B.” “I’m fine. I’m sure once we get started, things will ease up a bit.” “I’ve got a better idea.” I spread her open with my fingers and lightly licked straight up the middle of her pussy. Olivia squirmed, but I knew it wasn’t because I was hurting her. Lifting my head, I asked, “What’s wrong?” That gentle pink blush that told me when she was feeling bashful spread across her face. “I feel…just really exposed here in the middle of your living room in front of that big window…” Her voice trailed off as the blush deepened, but I knew it wasn’t my neighbors that concerned her. Placing a tiny kiss on her clit, I said, “Your pussy is beautiful—pink and perfect and evidence that you’re a natural redhead. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” “I know, but I…” She stopped talking and bit her lip as I ran my finger down to her opening. “Shhh. No more talking. The next sound I want to hear from your lips is you crying out in complete pleasure when I make you come all over my face. Understand?” With a sly smile, she bit her lower lip and moaned, “Uh-huh.” I lashed my tongue over her tender skin, first slowly and then faster as the tension built in her body, my fingers gently fucking her tight pussy. The sound of her tiny coos each time the tip of my tongue slid over her swollen clit made my cock harden until it stood like steel in my pants. I wanted to be inside her, but I could wait.

Her cunt tightened around my fingers, and she cried out my name, scratching my shoulders as her orgasm tore through her. I hadn’t gone down on a woman in years. That wasn’t part of my routine. I’d missed looking up and seeing pure pleasure wash over a woman’s face as my mouth took her over the edge into that place of oblivion, the feel of her hands urging me to stay between her legs as she screamed for more. I slowed my tongue to suck her clit gently between my lips while her thighs trembled against the sides of my head, coaxing a second orgasm from her even more powerful than the first. So responsive to my mouth’s manipulations, she pulled the back of my head into her as she whimpered her pleas for me not to stop. Barely able to breathe except to take in her delicious scent, I stayed there as much for myself as for her. When I finally sat back on my heels, she still had her eyes closed and that perfect orgasm expression all over her face. Of all the looks a woman could give, that was one of the best. Looking down at me, she gave me a tiny smile. “I don’t think I have any bones left. That was incredible, Cash.” Running my hands up her legs, I licked my lips to taste her once again. “My pleasure.” Her gaze traveled to my still rock hard cock, and she slid off the couch to join me on the floor. “Turnabout’s fair play, though. Don’t you think?” I shrugged out of my shirt and pants and sat back down. “Definitely.” She wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and slid her mouth over the tip, sending waves of pleasure rippling up and down my shaft. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cushions as she worked to suck all of me into her mouth, her hands stroking the last few inches as she slid back up to the top to begin all over again. My cock slid from her mouth, and I opened my eyes to see her looking up at me. “God, I want you inside me.” “You sure?” “Yeah.” She didn’t have to say it twice. I watched as she slipped out of her dress, and pointing to the bedroom, I told her where to find a condom and watched her jog into my room to get one. Fuck, she had a great body! Returning with a pack of six, she dangled them in front of me as she sat down next to me. With a grin, she ripped one off and handed it to me. “Just in case one’s not enough.” I slipped it on and pulled her onto my lap. “Planning on making sure I’m sore this time?” “As I said, turnabout’s fair play.” “Come here,” I said as I pulled her mouth toward mine. Sexy and sweet, I wanted to be inside her feeling her body clinging to me as I fucked her until both of us came harder than ever before. I positioned my cock at her opening, sliding the pad of my thumb over her eager pussy to her clit. Still wet from when my mouth had fucked her, she was ready for my cock. She moved slowly, timid and fearful now that the full length of me began to slide into her. I fought the urge to lift my hips to thrust in balls deep knowing that I needed her to set the pace so I didn’t hurt her already sore body. Each inch more into her cunt felt better than the last until I was fully seated in her, and a soft whimper escaped her lips as we joined completely. My thumb rubbed tiny circles on her clit while my hand on her waist kept her still, and she looked down at where my cock spread her wide open. “I was worried it might hurt, but it feels so fucking good. I can’t stand it. Please let me move.” “Tell me what you want, Olivia.” She tried to move, but my hand pressed hard against her hip stopped her. “I want to ride your cock.

Please…” “Your cunt’s so tight. I’m afraid I might hurt you.” Olivia leaned toward me, capturing my lower lip in between her teeth. Biting gently, she moaned, “I don’t care. Fuck me. Fuck me hard.” Lifting my hand from her hip, I cradled the back of her head and tugged her hair. “Ride my cock, baby. Let yourself go.” She raised herself up on her knees slowly and lowered herself back down onto me, rolling her hips and arching her back. I watched her cunt swallow my cock, her lips spreading wide every time she took all of me inside her. Up and down, her body sent strings of sensation over my shaft, making me wish she’d move faster. I grabbed her hips hard and directed her fucking me, guiding the pace of our pleasure. She liked the feel of me controlling her, even as I pushed her faster and faster and risked the danger of hurting her. The feeling of my cock fucking her hard made me forget how easily she might bruise. Her mouth pressed hard against mine, devouring my kiss as she begged me to give her what she so desperately wanted. My thighs ached from her slamming down on them, but I didn’t care. Each of us raced toward that one sublime point where our bodies would explode in release. We both panted and tugged at one another’s hair, forgetting anything else but the need to come. “Oh, God…Cash…” she cried as her nails dragged across the back of my neck. “I’m so close…” My mouth pressed to her face as her cheek skidded over my lips with every time she bucked up and down on my lap, I groaned, “Come for me. I want to feel that pretty cunt squeeze my cock when you come hard all over me.” My voice rasped from panting, and Olivia moaned in my ear, “Harder…faster…it’s right there…” I lifted my hips from the floor and rammed into her one last time and then she came, her body falling hard against mine as every inch of her shook from her orgasm. She didn’t stop riding me, though, and all it took was the feel of her cunt contracting around me again and again to take me over the edge. We sat there still joined together for a long time recovering from the sweet torture we’d inflicted on one another. My fingers slowly moved up and down on her back feeling the light film of perspiration that covered her skin, and Olivia still clutched the back of my neck now less forcefully than just a few minutes before. “I’m not going to be able to walk out of here,” she whispered in my ear. “I don’t think my legs work anymore.” “You’ll just have to stay then.” After the words came out of my mouth, I couldn’t believe I’d said that. I hadn’t offered to let a woman stay at my place for years, and there I was telling Olivia she’d have to. She leaned back and gave me a skeptical look. “That’s the post fuck haze talking, Cash. I don’t expect you to set me up here. Just give me a few minutes to regain my ability to walk.” I wanted to say even though I hadn’t meant she should move in I didn’t want her to go. I didn’t say it, though, preferring to stay silent instead of risking offering something I couldn’t give her.

Chapter Fourteen

Olivia B Y THE TIME I GOT home, it was nearly ten and Josie and Erin were waiting for me. Gossip knows no time limits, and sex gossip trumped even a good night’s sleep. Camped out on my doorstep, they sprang into action when they saw me hit the top of the stairs outside my apartment. As much as my legs were killing me and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed to hopefully have sexy dreams of Cash, I knew that would have to wait a little longer. “Where have you been? We’ve been waiting here for nearly an hour. Remember we were supposed to all go out for drinks?” Josie asked as she scanned my frame looking for any clue as to my recent whereabouts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t forget. The time just got away me, I guess.” Erin narrowed her eyes to slits and stared directly into my eyes. “Olivia Lucas, you’re lying to us. What’s going on?” I took my keys out and unlocked my door, readying myself for my friends’ inquisition since I hadn’t told them I’d even had sex with Cash yet. Stepping into my apartment, I made my way to the living room to sit down and rest my legs. Josie and Erin followed silently and took their seats on my couch to hear my answer. I took a deep breath and just said it. “I had sex with Cash.” “When?” Josie asked. “Tonight?” Erin added. “Yes, but the first time was Monday night.” Josie crossed her arms. “You told us the fantasy thing didn’t pan out because he was out of work sick.” “I lied. It didn’t work out like I planned. He didn’t show up so I marched myself downstairs to his office and demanded to know why he’d stood me up. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were on the conference room table having sex.” “Shut the fuck up! And you kept this to yourself since Monday night?” Josie asked in amazement. She knew me all too well. Normally, I would have told them everything, but something about how Cash and I got together that night made me hold back. I didn’t know if it was shame or fear that they’d ask about us ever getting together again when I knew full well he was avoiding me, but part of me couldn’t tell them if it had been just a one night thing. “It’s no big deal. Two consenting adults having sex happens all the time,” I answered, trying to sound nonchalant. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Liv. You like him. It is a big deal,” Josie said to show me she saw right through my lies. Erin waved Josie’s developing interrogation aside. “Don’t give her a hard time. Liv, if you don’t want to give us the details, it’s okay. I mean, we never asked Josie about how it was with Sebastian.” Josie’s expression twisted into one of disbelief that made me chuckle. “Are you kidding me? Was there any point at which you didn’t know how it was with him and me? It was the only time in my life that public displays of affection were the norm. We almost fucked a dozen times right in front of you two, so

don’t give her any reason to keep hush hush about this thing with Cassian March.” Turning back to face me, she leveled her stare at me like the investigator she was. “Spill it or we’ll get it out of you one way or another.” “It’s not a big deal, Josie. We had sex. It was pretty incredible. Tonight I went over to his house and we had sex again.” “So are you two dating?” Erin asked, her eyes wide with curiosity. I didn’t know how to answer that. So far, all we’d done was have the most phenomenal sex of my life. He had been avoiding me after our first time together, which wasn’t a good thing, but that had been because he thought I expected him to court me like I was some maiden who expected a man to marry her once he slept with her. The truth was I liked the idea of taking it slow with Cash, but for an entirely different reason than he did. His was fear of commitment. Mine was fear of him, or more accurately, my fear of falling too hard for him. “I’m not sure what we’re doing. I know I like him and find him unbelievably attractive. I think he feels something similar for me. Other than that, I can’t say.” Erin appeared satisfied with that answer. Josie, on the other hand, had already moved on to the juicier details of my time with Cash. “So, what’s he like? Was I right? Is he incredible in bed?” I tried not to smile at her description of him, but I couldn’t stop myself. The man was a sex god. Not that I wanted to tell them that, though. For the first time ever, I wanted to keep that part all to myself. So instead, I rolled my eyes and said, “I’ll say this. The guy isn’t all just good looks and money, okay?” “I knew it! I knew beneath those expensive suits was a guy who knew how to take care of a woman. This is so great! You need this, honey. This is exactly what you’ve been missing in life. I knew that job was going to be good for you.” Erin reached over and squeezed my forearm. “I think as long as you’re having a good time, that’s good. You know this is going to kill Jake, though, don’t you?” “He doesn’t feel that way about me, Erin. We’re just friends.” “And anyway, he knows he’s always been out of his league with Liv,” Josie added. “Money isn’t everything, Erin.” “I know. I’m just saying I think he’s always liked Liv more than just friends. The last time I saw him the first thing he asked about was her and how she was faring at her new job at Club X.” “Well, for someone who’s supposed to like me, he sure has an odd way of showing it. I called him after I got the job to say thanks for paving the way, and he barely had a minute to talk,” I said, remembering how abrupt he’d been with me that day on the phone. “He’s been a dick ever since his stepmother began telling his father he needs to be doing something more with his life than spending their money. From what I hear, stepmama has been pressing pretty hard to make Jakey get a job and stop mooching off his family,” Josie said with a grin, displaying the dislike she had for him. “Oh, Josie. You always want to find the negative in Jake. He’s had it tough since his father remarried,” Erin said in his defense, as she always did. “I think somewhere between the hate you have for him because you used to date him a million years ago, Josie, and the sympathy you have for him because you remember the boy he was in high school, Erin, is where I stand on Jake. He’s a good friend, and we all had a good time back in the day. Those days are long gone, though. It might be time for him to grow up.” “Maybe, but I still think he’s going to be heartbroken over this, Liv,” Erin said with a slight frown. Josie rolled her eyes. “Forget him. I want to know more about Cassian March. You’ve obviously decided to go military silence on us regarding the sex, which makes me think he must be off the charts

fucking good, but you need to be giving me something before I leave here tonight. I’m a single woman who works way too much. I’m living vicariously through you these days. Don’t let me down.” Erin’s mouth hung open in shock. “Josie!” “It’s okay. How about this? I’ll tell you one of my favorite things about him. Sound good?” They both nodded, and I tried to decide what I liked best about Cash. There was no denying he was gorgeous. Those blue eyes made me want to melt when he looked at me. And that body. Oh, that body! And those tattoos. And the piercing. The list was never ending. I’d never been with a man so incredibly sexy. I had to choose something, but telling them about those things didn’t feel right. They weren’t going to let me get away with saying his business acumen made me hot, though. “He’s got this way of talking dirty that makes my toes curl.” Josie’s eyes lit up. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say something like that about a man, you know that? I expected you to say you liked his clothes or something about his eyes. That you went with something so sexy tells me he’s good for you, Liv.” Erin agreed. “I think so too. Just remember as long as you’re happy, we’re happy.” “I am. It’s nothing serious, and I’m okay with that, guys.” Standing from my chair, I hugged the two of them as I led them to the door. “Now let me get some sleep because I have work tomorrow like you two. I’ll call you.” “Night, honey,” Erin said as she hugged me again. “Call me before the weekend, okay?” “Got it.” Josie waited for Erin to begin walking down the stairs and whispered, “By the way, you’re walking like you just got off a horse. He must be one hell of a man in that department too.” Heat rushed to my cheeks in an embarrassed blush and I rolled my eyes, but the evidence was there. Josie grinned like a Cheshire cat. “I love it! Call me. I won’t promise not to want details, but call me anyway.” “You bet. Be careful. I’ll talk to you later this week.” Minutes later, I climbed into bed and stretched my aching legs. Even now, hours later, it still felt like he was inside me, stretching me as we fucked. Sometimes even pain was a good thing.

* DRESSED IN BLACK PANTS AND a light green shirt that only served to make his dark hair look almost black, Cash stood in the doorway to my office just after six on Friday afternoon looking like he had a secret he couldn’t wait to tell someone. In that sexy voice that made an ache form in the pit of my stomach, he asked, “What are you doing around eight tonight?” In truth, I’d been at my desk since eleven that morning working hard on the end of the quarter numbers and felt pretty tired. However, the sparkle in his eyes told me if I could just push past that, I might find something great on the other side. “I don’t know. I’ve been here since before noon, so I was probably just going to go home at seven. Do you need me for something?” He walked in and closed the door before coming around my desk to stand behind me. Bending down, he rested his hands on my shoulders, making my body instantly come alive, and whispered, “I feel like taking a drive. Want to come with me?” I closed my eyes and leaned back against him, loving the feel of his muscular chest. “Sure. Where are we going?” “Just down the coast. I’ll meet you outside the club at eight sharp.”

His refusal to walk out with me past Stefan and the rest of the employees who’d be in the club at that time stung, but I quickly reminded myself that we weren’t officially a couple. We’d gotten together once more after that night at his condo, and I had a feeling he wanted more, but so far we were just two people having mind-blowing sex and I wasn’t interested in spoiling that by putting restrictions on it. I tilted my head back to look up at him. “How will I know where you are?” I joked. Flashing me a stunning smile, he kissed me and said, “I’ll be the man in the black car waiting for the gorgeous redhead.” “Okay, then. I’ll be the woman looking for the hot guy in a black car. See you at eight.” “Good. By the way, I’ve been hard since I decided on this, so you’ve been warned. If we don’t make it all the way to our destination, I’m more than prepared to fuck you in the car.” He walked away before I could answer, but it wouldn’t have mattered. I had no words when he said things like that. The man had the ability to make me wet just with a few really hot words. I could definitely get used to that. The next hour and a half flew by in a blur as I spent the time fantasizing about where Cash might be taking me. Needless to say, my reports didn’t get done, but for one of the first times in my adult life, I didn’t care that I hadn’t taken care of business. It felt good to venture off the straight and narrow. Pushing my chair out from my desk, I looked down at my outfit and shook my head. My black pencil skirt and pink silk blouse weren’t exactly the look I would have chosen for a night out with Cash, but I didn’t have other clothes with me and something told me that the man who’d practically promised me he wouldn’t want to wait until we got to wherever we were going to have sex wasn’t going to want to stop so I could slip into something more comfortable. I straightened my look and closing the door to my office glanced over at Cash’s and saw his door already closed. The club was still quiet, so I headed toward the front door and whatever he had planned for me. Just before I hit the exit, I heard someone call my name and turned to see Stefan standing there with a questioning look on his face. “Taking off early tonight? Don’t you usually stay late on Fridays?” He’d obviously noticed my Friday night schedule for the past month. Struggling to keep my expression as emotionless as possible, I shook my head. “No, I have plans tonight. Have a good one, Stefan.” “You too! Hey, by the way, is Cash still back in his office?” “I don’t know. I didn’t notice before I left. I guess I was preoccupied. Gotta go. Have a good night.” Hurrying out of the door, I hoped I hadn’t been as obvious as I felt in front of Stefan. He definitely seemed suspicious, but maybe it was all in my head. Whether it was or not, I’d deal with that on Monday. I looked up and down the street outside the club but saw no black car. Was I early? I stood there for a moment and then my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number but answered it anyway. “Hello?” A voice like silk moaned into the phone and said, “You look so fucking hot. Look down the block to your right.” I turned my head and there was Cash leaning against a black sports car looking sexier than I thought a man could. Gone were the dress pants and shirt, replaced by jeans and a black T-shirt. From a distance, he sort of looked like Stefan, strangely enough. “I see a black car, but I don’t know that man. The Cash I know is always in a suit. This guy looks pretty relaxed and casual.” “Smart ass. I see a very hot redhead. Know her? She’s supposed to come with me.” I chuckled and pretended to look around. “I don’t see her. Looks like you’re stuck with me.” “I’ll be waiting.” I started down the block to where he was parked. “You’re making me walk to you?”

“Mmmm…I like watching you walk. See you in a minute.” He was still leaning against the side of his car when I finally reached him, and I saw by the smile he wore that he was enjoying himself. “Enjoy the show?” Sliding his arms around me, he cupped my ass through my skirt and pressed a kiss just below my ear. “Immensely. Let’s go.” “Where are we going?” Tapping me lightly on the ass, he winked. “It’s a surprise. Now get in the car and we can get out of here.” “What kind of car is this? It’s gorgeous!” I asked as he opened the passenger door for me. “A Maserati GranTurismo. Wait until you see how it rides.” We drove for about two hours in the most luxurious car I’d ever been in, and for the first time, we talked—really talked. Always guarded, Cash played his cards close to the vest, but I learned more about how Kane fit into the March brothers’ business and became an equal partner in Club X. I sensed Cash liked his half-brother more than his own brother and stayed away from any questions about Stefan, sure from my time working at the club that there was some bad blood between them. To be honest, I really didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to find out the man I was falling for had done something terrible to his own flesh and blood. For at least the time being, I wanted to believe Cash was the great guy I’d built him up to be. I also learned that Cash could be really funny when he let himself be. Not that I didn’t really like the man he was at work, but to see him smile and laugh instead of trying to be professional all the time made me even crazier about him. We were so busy talking and having a good time that I didn’t realize where we’d driven to. When he finally stopped the car in front of a beachside house, I stared out in confusion. A whitewashed cottage didn’t seem like his style. “Is this yours?” A slow smile spread across his lips. “Yeah.” “It doesn’t seem like you. I guess I just associate you with the only other places I’ve seen you in. You know, your office and condo are clean, minimalist. This seems very…quaint.” “It is. It was my father’s and it transferred to me when he died.” “Oh. I didn’t mean to…” Leave it to me to make a comment on something that brought up a dead relative. Smooth. He gave me a gentle smile to let me know my comment hadn’t ruined anything. “It’s okay. Let’s go in.” The inside of the cottage looked nothing like I’d expected it to. I’d assumed the beachy exterior would lead to a place with lots of white wood, seashells, and wicker, but I couldn’t have been more mistaken. While the house may have been that quaint cottage at one time, Cash’s style had very much been imprinted on the design and instead of feeling like I stood mere feet away from the beach, it felt like I was back in his condo. “It’s not much, but I like to use it to get away sometimes,” he explained as he headed toward the kitchen. I heard his keys land on the granite countertop as I looked around at yet another place Cassian March owned. Sleek lines, expensive furnishings, and what I suspected were fine pieces of art filled out the cream and black rooms. Turning toward the kitchen, I saw him pouring us drinks. “Again with the understatement. I think this place is a lot more than not much.” “Come. Have a drink. That was a long ride.” Even now, dressed so casually and standing there in this beach cottage, Cash took up all the space in

the room and made me feel slightly out of place in my work clothes that made me seem more like his secretary than his lover or girlfriend, whichever I was. I took the glass he offered and watched him lift his in a toast. “To always being surprised, Olivia.” He downed a healthy gulp of whiskey while I inhaled the strong smell, afraid if I drank even a little without eating that I’d lose my head. “I’m not a big fan of surprises, to be honest.” Lifting his glass again, he smiled in a way that made my core clench in need. “Then to me changing your mind.” Something about him had changed. It may have been almost imperceptible, but he wasn’t the person who’d smiled and laughed with me as we drove there. Had I done something? I didn’t know. All I knew was Cash had reverted back to that man he’d usually been around me—cool and sexy, but closed off just enough to keep me at arm’s length.

Chapter Fifteen

Cassian I SLOWLY OPENED MY EYES, vaguely aware that someone lay next to me. But that was impossible. I never spent the entire night with anyone. Not for a long time anyway. My eyes fully open, I looked over to my right and saw a flash of red hair against the white pillowcase next to mine. Olivia. What the fuck was I doing? Instead of keeping my distance like I’d planned, I’d ended up sleeping with her not once but twice. Then instead of keeping her at arm’s length, I’d been foolish enough to bring her here on some kind of mini-vacation, like we were goddamned dating. This couldn’t happen, so why was I being so stupid? It’s not that I didn’t want to be with her. I just couldn’t. Period. Everything I was, everything I’d done in my life made it so. Why my cock and his brand new best friend my heart were having a hard time dealing with that fact escaped me. So now those two had entirely disregarded what my brain had been saying since the day she walked into my life and we’d all ended up at the beach house on Gasparilla Island like she and I were some couple in love who wanted to get away from it all. Just one problem. There was no getting away from who I was or all the shittiness I brought into this thing between us, whatever it was. She was so close, though. I wanted to reach out and run my fingertips over her skin to remember how she’d felt in my arms just hours before. I wanted to be the man who’d thought it was such a grand idea to bring her here instead of the man I really was. Closing my eyes, I worked to push all that from my mind. I couldn’t change the past or what that past had made me, no matter how much I wanted to. I didn’t want to let her go, though. It was selfish and thoughtless, but I wanted the kind of sweetness she gave my life. That I didn’t deserve an ounce of it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to let her go. She rolled over and looked at me with a cute, sleepy look. “What time is it?” “I don’t know. Sun’s up, but I don’t think it’s too late.” Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she smiled shyly. “I’d have thought you’d be an eye on your watch kind of guy.” Smiling, I wondered why I wasn’t at that moment. My watch sat on the nightstand, but I didn’t want to know what time it was. I didn’t want to think about anything but lying there with her, no matter how wrong that was. “I usually am. I guess this place just has that kind of effect on me,” I lied. Propping her head up on one hand, she asked, “Do you come here a lot?” I shook my head, trying to remember when I’d last slept in this bed with a woman. Suddenly, the memory of that last time flooded my mind. Exactly one week before Rachel and I separated. “No, not really,” I lied again. Olivia sensed something was wrong and sat up quickly, her feet hitting the floor before I could say another word. Looking around for her clothes, she muttered, “I think we should probably get back. I have things to do today.” While she picked her things up from the where they’d been thrown hours before in the heat of passion,

I reached out to run my hand down her back, loving the feel of her silky skin under my hand. “Grab a shower while I run out to get some breakfast. We have some time.” She stopped moving and turned to look at me with an expression filled with confusion. I couldn’t blame her. One minute I was Prince Charming and the next I was as cold as a fucking iceberg. “Try the shower. It’s got like ten showerheads. I don’t think you’ll find a better shower anywhere.” Raising her eyebrows, she smirked. “That’s one hell of a shower. I guess I can’t possibly leave without trying it.” I sat up and slipped my pants on. “Good. I’ll get some breakfast and be back in a few.” As Olivia walked toward the bathroom, I grabbed my phone to call the local store that thankfully delivered whenever I visited this place. Or at least it did the last time I was here. Five minutes and two teenage boys with squeaky voices later, I came to find out that the store’s owner had retired and no, they didn’t deliver anymore. What the fuck was I doing? I had a gorgeous woman naked in my shower, and there I was spending time talking to pimply-faced kids about fucking bagels. I slid out of my pants and headed into the bathroom as my conscience scolded me for once again making the wrong choice with Olivia. It only took a few seconds of looking at her wet, naked body before my cock was ready to go. Between the guilt and the knowledge that what I was doing was wrong, I thought it might have let me down, but like my heart, it stood ready to go. She turned around, surprised at first, but then she smiled. “I thought you were handling breakfast.” Closing the shower door behind me, I stepped close to her as the water poured down over me. “Didn’t work out. This is a far better way to wake up anyway.” I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, but she pressed her hands to my chest to push me away. “What the fuck is with you, Cash? We have a great time all the way here, and then you run ice cold on me as soon as we arrive. Then we have sex and you’re all about me, but we wake up and you’re the ice man again. Now you’re all about me again?” I’d brought this upon myself. No intelligent woman would let me get away with what amounted to running hot and cold in some crazy ass bipolar fashion for long, and Olivia had every right to demand an answer. I couldn’t give her one, but she had every right to demand one. She stood staring at me waiting for me to say something, but I just leaned back against the wall, unable to explain that as much as I wanted us to be that couple we were when I was all into her, we couldn’t be more than what we were when I was cold. If she wanted to be with me, she’d have to accept this was how I was. That wasn’t who she was, though. Stepping toward me, she pressed her body against mine and slowly pushed her hips forward to run her wet pussy over my cock. “No answer? You’re just planning on standing there with a raging hard-on and giving me the silent treatment?” “Olivia…” I stopped myself and shook my head. Frustrated, she knitted her brows and frowned. “Fuck, Cash! What do you want from me? What? Just say it!” I lunged at her, slamming her against the tile wall and covered her mouth with mine in a kiss that contained all the pent up shit my fucked up mind was dealing with. I wanted her. That’s it. I wanted to not be the man I was so I could be the one Olivia deserved. I wanted to forget the mess of my past and believe something good could happen with her. She matched my need with her own, clutching at my neck as her mouth pressed hard against mine. The heat between us threatened to burn me up, but I wanted more. Olivia’s moans echoed off the walls, ratcheting up my desire for her. Sliding my hand between her legs, I pushed two fingers into her hot cunt,

thrusting in and out fast and hard to feel her come from my touch. “I want to see you come so fucking hard you can’t stand.” She climbed up my body desperate for the release only my fingers could give her. I slammed them into her as her teeth sunk into my shoulder. Everything between us now was raw and primal with no reason or thought to hold us back. Her nails scratched over my shoulders, and she cried out against my skin at the first sign of her orgasm ripping through her. I pressed my forehead against the tile and heard Olivia groan, “Yes, Cash! God…yes!” “Come for me, baby. Let me feel you come apart.” As the water rained down over us, she came until her legs shook and she couldn’t stand anymore. Before her body stopped trembling, I lifted her and she wrapped herself around me, giving me the perfect angle to enter her. “God, Olivia, you’re killing me.” She pressed her heels hard against the base of my spine as she bucked against me. I drove hard into her, and with each thrust the wall I’d built around me began to crumble. If we could be this real together physically, maybe I could let go of the past and this could be something. And maybe who I was could be with someone like Olivia. Her voice weak, she whimpered, “Cash, what are you doing to me? You’re driving me crazy.” I stared into her dark eyes and let myself feel all those things I’d pushed away for so long. In those eyes I saw a chance for more than just fucking and leaving all the time. All the things that stood in our way could be overcome. I just had to give her a chance. Her cunt contracted around my cock, and she came a second time, her body mine if I wanted to claim it. The feeling of her giving in to me sent my body into overdrive, and I came until there was nothing left inside me. Pushing wet strands of hair off her face, I kissed her long and deep and answered her question. “I want you. That’s what I want.” She looked at me like she was searching for some answer in my eyes. “You can have me, but I can’t do this with you if all I am is someone you sleep with. I know that sounds old-fashioned, but as much as I love doing this with you, it’s just not enough.” How the hell she could be so brave to put herself all out like that baffled me. I’d never showed her I could be trusted with a sentiment like that, yet she’d laid it all on the line knowing there was every chance I’d run ice cold and walk away without looking back. She gave me my out. I should have taken it. I knew that. I also knew I hadn’t met a woman like her before, and I liked how she made me feel when I let her in. “I can’t promise forever, Olivia. I will promise to only be with you as long as we’re together.” Pursing her lips, she considered what I’d said and finally nodded her head. “I guess for someone like you that’s pretty big. It’s a deal.” I lowered her to the floor and cradled her face in my hands. “Not really. I haven’t been with anyone else for a while. There’s something about you I can’t seem to shake, Olivia. Makes being with other women hard.” She flashed me one of her stunning smiles and traced her finger across the tattoo on my chest. “Then I guess it’s my job to make that impossible.”

* I STOOD IN OLIVIA’S OFFICE doorway waiting for her as the club behind me began to fill up. A typical Friday night at Club X, it was anything but a typical night for me. Tonight would be the first time Olivia and I

appeared in public as a couple after our breakthrough just six days before. As I ran through every reason why this was another in a long line of my bad ideas concerning her, she emerged from the conference room dressed in a short black dress that hugged every beautiful curve and four inch heels that made her legs look like they went on for miles. “Wow…you look stunning.” She walked toward me on shaky legs and looked down at her feet as she stopped in front of me. “They’re a little higher than I usually go for. I don’t think I’ll be dancing tonight.” Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her toward me and kissed her on the lips. “I hadn’t planned on us dancing anyway. I had something else in mind.” “Something else? Like what?” “Another visit to the top floor.” Her expression turned skeptical. “Really? I thought I was too good for that.” I gently gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lifted it to look into her eyes. “You’re too good to simply fuck in a fantasy room. You’re perfect to spend some time alone with there, though. I thought it might be fun. Maybe see some more of the dancers.” Flashing me another of her gorgeous smiles, she ran her hands over my shoulders. “By the way, you look incredible. I don’t know how you do it, but you have a way of making a black dress shirt look so hot.” Pressing my lips to hers, I slid my tongue inside her mouth, loving the feel of her in my arms. That conference room just a few feet away looked like a much better idea than spending time out in the bar, but Olivia pulled away just as I’d decided to go for another round on the mahogany table. “Time to go. Our first public appearance awaits.” Even though we’d talked about this for days, suddenly the idea of dealing with Stefan and his questions or worse, his comments about my personal life, seemed like the worst idea I’d had in a long time. I’d worked hard to keep my personal life private, but now I was about to upend all that work to show Olivia how much I wanted to be with her. The rhythm of the music pounded through the club, matching our steps as Olivia and I walked toward the bar, my hand pressed lightly on the small of her back to guide her. The room teemed with people, but the crowd fell away to make room for us to pass. I spied Stefan do a double-take when he saw us, and instinctively I tightened my arm around Olivia’s waist. She looked more stunning than every other woman in the place when she turned to look at me confused about my sudden possessiveness, her big brown eyes staring up at me as if to ask, “Is something wrong?” Stefan beat a path to us, pushing past people on his way to where we stood. Pulling me toward the end of the bar, he said in my ear, “How long have you been with Olivia?” I simply stared at him, amazed he thought he should ask anything about my personal life even now. He saw he wasn’t going to get any information from me, so he turned on the charm and leaned down to say in Olivia’s ear, “I see you let yourself get comfortable here. Good for you!” Unaware of my past with my brother, she beamed a smile up at him. “Thanks!” “So what are you two planning tonight?” he asked over the music. Before we could escape, his buddy Jake sidled up next to him with a look that screamed he couldn’t believe his eyes. For a friend of Olivia’s, he didn’t look too friendly. “What’s up, Liv? I didn’t think this was your type of scene.” “Hi Jake! Long time, no see,” Olivia chirped sweetly at the jackass. He hadn’t said twenty words and already I hated Jake Richfield. His gelled dirty blond hair and cheap ass watch and clothes made me want to knock him flat on his ass. My hold on Olivia tightened even

further until she was pressed right to my body. Prying his stare off my date, he looked me dead in the eyes as if we were close friends and asked, “What’s up, Cassian?” Olivia looked up at me, and I gave her a tiny smile. “See you later, Stefan. Have a good night. Looks like the crowd is great tonight.” I didn’t give him or his asshole friend a chance to answer or continue the conversation. Taking Olivia’s hand in mine, I led her to the stairs and we made our way up to the fantasy rooms. Kane stood guard at his usual place at the end of the hall with one of his rare smiles on his face. Leaning down, I whispered low in Olivia’s ear, “Wait for me in room ten. I’ll be there in a minute.” As I watched her walk down the hallway, I heard Kane say behind me, “So that’s why you reserved a room. I wondered what was up.” Olivia entered room ten and closed the door. I turned to face Kane, hoping he’d be a little more mature than Stefan. I needed a brother who could act like an adult now. “Thanks for not saying anything to Stefan. I appreciate it.” “No problem. Olivia’s a sweet girl. She’s good for you, and since she’s obviously okay with the whole Rachel thing, I have to give her credit.” I looked away to avoid Kane’s stare. “She doesn’t know about Rachel.” And in just those few words was the very problem that haunted every minute I spent with Olivia. Until that moment, I hadn’t said them out loud, only allowing them to exist in my mind and torment me. I knew it was wrong not to tell her, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to explain that part of my past. “That’s not good, Cash. Women don’t like finding out the man they’re falling for still has a wife.” “She’s not my wife. We separated years ago. All that remains are legal formalities.” Kane wasn’t buying my excuses. Leaning forward, he leveled his gaze on me. “You’re either married or divorced. Separated means nothing to a woman like Olivia.” “I can’t divorce Rachel. I never had her sign a pre-nup. We divorce and this club is one of the first things she’ll go after. I know her.” Kane’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “No pre-nup? What were you thinking, Cash?” “I wasn’t thinking. I was a kid in love.” “And now you’re a grown man who if he doesn’t tell Olivia the truth is going to lose her.” I looked down the hall at the room where Olivia waited. “I’d planned on telling her tonight. I just don’t know how to.” “You know me, Cash. I’m all about leaving the past in the past. Nobody should have to deal with what I was. But Olivia’s going to find out, and if she doesn’t find out from you, you’re done. You can’t come back from that kind of lie, even if it is just a sin of omission.” I nodded, knowing every word he said was right. I needed to tell Olivia everything, and all I could hope for was that she’d understand. There was nothing between Rachel and me anymore. There hadn’t been for a long time. I just needed to make sure Olivia knew that too.

Chapter Sixteen

Olivia I SAT ON THE COUCH in the fantasy room waiting for Cash, anxious for us to finally spend time together here as a couple. No, I didn’t plan to sleep with him in this place where God only knew what had gone on before us, but it felt sort of naughty to be here again. I liked how sexy being with him made me feel, and hanging out in a fantasy room in Club X fulfilled at least one of my fantasies of Cash. The door opened, and he stepped in looking just as stunning as always, but for the first time in one of these rooms, I got to see the man before he seduced me. Taking a seat next to me, he leaned back against the couch cushions and took my hand in his. “A little different this time, isn’t it?” “Sort of like the first time you and I came to one of these rooms that night you gave me the grand tour of the club.” Bringing my hand to his lips, he placed a tiny kiss in the center of my palm. “That’s right. I didn’t think you liked this world of mine then.” I shrugged, remembering that night a little differently. I’d been crazy about him even then. I just didn’t have the nerve to let him know like I did now. Climbing onto his lap, I hiked up my dress and straddled his hips. “I liked you then. I wasn’t sure what to think of your world, though.” He slid his hands over my ass and around to rest on my legs, making my pussy run wet when his thumbs began gently stroking the insides of my thighs. Looking up at me with those ice blue eyes, he asked, “And now?” I tilted my hips and inched up against his already hard cock. A slow sexy grin told me he liked what I was doing. “I like the way I get to be with you and your world.” Cash closed his eyes and moaned as I rubbed against him. “Things aren’t always what they seem, Olivia. Sometimes there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface.” I sensed he wanted to tell me something but was hesitating. I waited, slowing my hips, and hoped he knew he could say anything to me. He grimaced for just a moment and then his expression stilled before he opened his eyes and gave me a forced smile. I leaned in to kiss him and whispered, “I like the surface already, but I’d love to see what’s going on beneath.” Cash seemed to consider what I said, and I wondered if he was trying to tell me those three incredibly scary words. Was he planning to say “I love you”? I didn’t know if I was ready for him to go there, but I knew how terrifying it was to say those words when the other person might not feel the same. Things had moved pretty fast between us, but even though I might not say I love you yet, that didn’t mean in many ways I wasn’t already crazy about him. “Olivia, I never thought I’d meet someone I could really be myself around like I am with you.” “I like that, Cash. You don’t have to pretend to be anything but what you really are with me. I hope you know that.” I waited for him to say something, but instead he pulled me down and kissed me like I’d never been kissed before. His mouth captured mine and possessed it like he was claiming me. Every inch of my body came alive, and I wanted him right there in that room. My hips bucked against him as my clit throbbed with need and my fingers raced to get his shirt open. I wanted him naked under me as I rode his cock until there was nothing left in either of us.

“Olivia…not here.” Even as his words said no, he stroked the pad of his thumb over my clit, nearly sending me over the edge with just one touch. “Yes…” I moaned as I slid his tie from around his neck and opened the last button on his shirt. “Right here.” He stopped my hands as they skimmed down from the black and red words tattooed on his chest over the chiseled cuts of his abs just above his belt. “You need to know…” I stared down at him as I waited for him to continue. He didn’t have to explain that this room wasn’t private or that he didn’t want me to think he saw me as some cheap thing if we did this. I knew that, and still I wanted him inside me right there in that room just like I’d fantasized about all those weeks. Whatever he wanted to say never came from his lips, and slowly, he loosened his hold on my hands until they were free. He stared up at me with hooded eyes that told me he wanted this as much as I did. I reached into his pants and palmed his hard cock. “I want you right here. Right now.” Cash lifted me off him and with both hands gripped my hips tightly. Hesitating for a moment, he opened his mouth to speak but said nothing again and lowered me down onto him. Already sopping wet, I gasped at how full I felt as he slid into me. Finally, our bodies completed joined, and he held me still there on him. “You feel so fucking good. Ride me. I want to see you ride my cock, baby.” With his hands guiding my pace, I slid up and down on him slowly, loving how sensual this thing between us was. Pressing my lips to his neck, I inhaled the scent of him as he slid in and out of my slick pussy, loving the masculinity that filled me. Cash grunted low in my ear, and it registered deep inside me in a place only he’d ever reached. In a husky voice, he commanded, “Lean back. I want to watch you, Olivia.” I sat up tall on him and lifted myself off his cock, only leaving the head inside me to tease him. His thighs tensed against my calves and his fingers dug into my hips, and then he lifted his hips and pushed his cock hard into me. I watched his face twist in a mixture of power and need, loving the control he possessed over me. This was my fantasy come true. With every thrust into me, Cash overwhelmed my senses. The sound of our fucking echoed around us, moans and whimpers that grew louder with each moment as we raced toward that sweet oblivion I’d only ever experienced with him. The sight of those blue eyes so intent as they stared down at the spot on our bodies where his cock stretched my opening to take all of him. The musky scent of his cologne tinged with the smell of sex filled my nose. The sensation of him filling me more completely than I thought possible made me want to give him all of me. Our lovemaking pushed every thought of anything but Cash out of my mind. I rode him with abandon, desperate to give him what he gave me. My body exploded into a million pieces, and I clung to him even though I barely had the strength to hold on. In my ear, I heard him moan my name, and then he came with one last thrust into me, flooding my insides with heat. I stilled in his arms and buried my face into his neck, the subtle saltiness of his skin making me lick my lips to taste him. His hands gently stroked up and down my back as if to comfort me, but I didn’t need comforting. Being with him was all I needed. Pressing a tiny kiss on the shell of his ear, I whispered, “You okay?” He inhaled, expanding his chest against me, and let the air out of his lungs slowly. “That was incredible.” Gently pushing me back away from him, he smiled that sexy smile that never failed to thrill me. “Was this your fantasy?” I bit my lip. “Part of it,” I said coyly, unable to contain my smile.

“Just part?” “Yeah. I’ll save the rest of it for another time.” Cash leaned up to kiss me and then lightly ran his tongue over the seam of my lips. “I’ll have to keep that in mind.”

* “LIVY, YOU SOUND UTTERLY EXHAUSTED.” I smiled at Josie’s entirely correct description of me. My time with Cash in our fantasy room had exhausted me physically and emotionally. In just a short time, he’d become such a huge part of my life, and our first time out in public had shown me how much he was into me too. “I got to bed late last night, so I’m a little beat.” “I hear that you and Cassian made an appearance at Club X last night. Seems you two are the new hot couple there.” “I wouldn’t go that far, Josie. We just took our dating public last night. That’s all.” “Erin said Jake couldn’t talk about anything else last night. I’d expect a call from him anytime now, Liv. Can you say jealous?” The way she said jealous in a sing-song voice told me she was enjoying herself. “Jake and I are friends. Period. He knows that. I’m going to grab a shower and a bite to eat. I’ll give you a call later.” “Call me the second you get off the phone with Jake. I’m dying to hear his tale of woe.” “Talk to you later, Josie.” I ended the call and shook my head at her not-so-secret desire to see Jake miserable. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned indeed. Checking the time on my phone, I mentally chastised myself for spending the entire morning in bed. It may have been Saturday, but sleeping in until noon wasn’t my style. Another side effect of dating Cassian March. That sounded so strange as I repeated those words in my mind. Dating Cassian March, the owner of the hottest club in town and one of Tampa’s most eligible bachelors. Stretching my arms and legs, I enjoyed the sweet ache between my legs from our lovemaking. A girl could definitely get used to a man like Cash. A knock on my door put an end to my memories of our time together, and I shuffled my tired self out to the living room to see who it was. I saw Jake’s face through the peephole and opened the door to find him standing there with flowers in his hand. He stuck the bouquet out toward me. “Hey, Livy, I thought I’d come over and see how you’re doing. It’s been a long time.” “Thanks! Come in. I just got up, so don’t mind the fact that I look like a bus hit me. Late night, you know?” Jake followed me into the kitchen as I found a vase for the wildflowers he’d brought. From behind me as I stood at the sink to fill it with water, he said, “It was great seeing you last night. I didn’t think I’d ever see you at Club X.” Arranging the flowers, I chuckled. “I didn’t think so either, but I guess everyone ends up there.” Turning around, I showed him his gift. “These are beautiful, Jake. Thank you.” “So now you’re with Cassian March? I wouldn’t have thought he was your type, Livy.” Jake’s pale blue eyes flashed anger. I’d never seen him as anything but a good time, but now he was frightening me. “I don’t know if I have a type, Jake.” “He’s quite a player. Not exactly the type of guy you usually go for. Or was that just an excuse why

you never wanted to be with me?” Suddenly, my galley kitchen seemed entirely too small for our discussion. I moved to walk out into the living room, but he stuck his arm out in front of me and stopped me cold with a hard forearm to my midsection. “Jake, let me out. Now.” He pulled me fast against his body. “Stop being such a cock tease, Liv. You like players now, so why shouldn’t we have a good time finally? You know I’ve wanted to get inside those yoga pants for years.” I looked up and saw him smiling down at me, like this was fun for him. “Jake, let me go. You know I only like you as a friend. It has nothing to do with Cash and me. You and I have always been friends. You, me, Josie, and Erin are the four musketeers.” Jake slid his hands down to grab my ass and pulled me against him so I could feel his erection. His fingers pressed hard into my skin, hurting me. “Jake, let me go NOW! You’re hurting me!” He pulled my hair hard and jammed his knee between my thighs. “What is it you like? The money? I’ve got as much or more. The fact that he’s fucked more women than he can remember? Me too. So no more fucking teasing me, sweetheart. I’ve waited long enough.” Tears burned my eyes, and I cried out, “Don’t do this!” He looked down at me and gave me a sinister smile, so I begged, “Please, Jake, you don’t want to do this.” “Oh, yes I do. All these years you’ve been sweet little Livy, too good for me. Your friends weren’t, but you were always out of my reach. I’ve been patient and stuck in the friend zone for way too fucking long, but no more.” I twisted out of his hold and ran to get my phone, hoping that if I could call 911 the cops might get there before Jake really hurt me. He grabbed me just as I reached it, yanking me back by my hair so I fell back against him. His hands clawed at my breasts, squeezing them painfully. I screamed, but he stifled my call for help by covering my mouth with his palm. The phone was too far from me, and there was no way anyone had heard my screams. Fear tore through me that Jake was going to rape me right there in my apartment and nobody would be there to stop him. He jammed his hand down the front of my panties, bruising my skin, and I knew I had to do something. Opening wide, I bit down on the fingers covering my mouth until I tasted the metallic tinge of blood on my tongue. Jake howled in anger and sent me flying with a backhand to my cheek. I fell hard to the floor but instantly scrambled for my phone as he stood looking at his bloody hand, stunned at what I’d done. My hands trembled so badly I could barely hold the phone. “Get the fuck out of here before I call 911 and have your fucking ass arrested. Get out!” He sneered and snapped, “Fuck you, Liv! You’re not worth it. I didn’t want Cassian March’s sloppy seconds anyway.” Jake flung the door open, slamming it into the wall, and stormed out. My hands still trembling, I dialed the only number I could think of, praying to God I didn’t get a voicemail. “Olivia, I’m glad you called.” I tried to stop the tears, but the reality of what just happened washed over me and I couldn’t hold back. Sobbing, I said, “Cash, I need you to come get me at my apartment. I can’t stay here.” “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked over and over as my sobs nearly drowned out the sound of his voice. “Please just come. I can’t stay here. Please.” “I’ll be right there. Don’t cry. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” The phone went silent, and I let it drop to the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, I sat there in that spot where Jake had thrown me, in shock at what he’d done. I had no idea how much time passed between

me calling Cash and him getting to my apartment. All I knew was that I couldn’t stay there but I couldn’t move on my own either. All I wanted to do was bury my head and cry. “Olivia?” I looked up and saw Cash standing in my doorway with a stunned look on his face. How could I tell him what happened? I didn’t know what to say. “What happened? Who did this?” “Jake,” I answered quietly, still not believing it myself. Cash crouched down beside me and pushed my tangled hair away from my face to examine my cheek. Looking down, I saw it already had begun to swell. His blue eyes filled with rage, and when he spoke, his voice came out in a low growl. “He did this to you? I’m going to kill him.” “I don’t know what happened. He was so angry. I’d never seen him like that. I don’t know why.” As he helped me to my feet, he pulled the two pieces of my torn T-shirt together at my neck and leaned down to kiss me. “Let’s get you out of here. Tell me what you need to take and we’ll go to my place.” I held my shirt together and looked down at what I was wearing. “I don’t have pants on, Cash. I need pants.” “Okay, we’ll find you pants and some shoes. Bring whatever you need for as long as you need to. You can stay at my place where I’ll make sure you’re safe.” Clutching my collar, I staggered into my room and threw a shirt over my head. I slipped on my yoga pants and flip flops and headed back out to where Cash stood talking on the phone. “Stefan, if I ever see him anywhere near my fucking club, I’ll hold you responsible. You don’t need to know why I don’t want him there. Just make fucking sure his membership is voided and I don’t see him there again.” Quietly, I let him know I was behind him. “Cash?” He turned around and stuffed his phone into his pocket. Wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me close. “Let’s go. I’ll get you something to eat and we’ll spend the day at my condo.” My body melted into his protective hold, and I looked up at him to see his expression so serious. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything to him. This isn’t your fight, Cash.” “Olivia, he hurt you.” “I just want to lay down and relax. Everything hurts.” Cash pressed his lips to my forehead and whispered, “Okay. Let’s get you back to my place and you can relax there.” “Thank you. I didn’t know who else to call. I hope I didn’t interrupt you doing…anything.” He shook his head and smiled. “You didn’t interrupt anything more important than you. I’m glad you thought of me first.”

Chapter Seventeen

Olivia THE HOT WATER EASED THE pain that seemed to be everywhere in my body. I closed my eyes and soaked in Cash’s tub for nearly an hour as I listened to him exact his revenge on Jake in the March way. Anywhere he tried to go, he’d find he was suddenly unwanted, from Club X to virtually every one of the best restaurants in town. Cash left nothing of his social life to enjoy, and I knew this would devastate Jake most. Other men might have been hurt by another man beating the hell out of them, but not Jake. More than anything else, he lived to be that player he’d always been and Cash took that away from him with an hour’s worth of carefully placed phone calls. From this point on, Jake Richfield would be persona non grata everywhere he turned. Opening my eyes, I looked down my body at the evidence of Jake’s rage. Purple bruises dotted my breasts where he’d grabbed me, and all down my stomach scratches marked me. Marked. Bruised. How could Jake had done this to me? I struggled to fight back the tears, hating the idea that I was so weak that he could get to me again. No. I wouldn’t let that happen. I wasn’t some helpless girl. I’d trusted him, and that was a mistake, but he wouldn’t get any more than that from me. At least I could control that. After an hour, I knew I couldn’t hide out in Cash’s bathroom anymore. I had to face him. I’d called him because I needed someone to save me, but now I felt embarrassed and unsure I’d made the right choice. We weren’t at that point in our relationship. What if he felt obligated to help me? I didn’t want a man who felt obligated to be with me because I was some broken bird. Slipping back into my shirt and yoga pants, I walked out through his bedroom to find him sitting on the couch. Something between us felt awkward now, and I hated that. It was nothing he meant to do, but I saw the look on his face. He pitied me. “Come here. Sit down with me.” I didn’t even want to face him, so I looked away. “I think maybe I’ll go stay at Josie’s. I don’t want to impose.” Cash walked over to me and took my hand. Raising it to his lips, he kissed it and led me to the couch. “Olivia, you’re staying here. I want to make sure you’re safe. Now sit.” I did as he commanded and sat down next to him. “You’re pretty bossy, aren’t you?” “I am your boss, remember?” “I think we’re past just being boss and assistant, aren’t we?” I didn’t know why I asked that. I sounded needy, and I hated sounding that way. Looking down so I didn’t have to see his face, I said, “Forget I said that, okay? I’m not thinking clearly.” Cash lifted my chin with his finger and stared into my eyes with a look that made me forget everything else in the world but him. “We are past just being that. I hadn’t realized until last week just how much past that we were. Then when you called me today and I heard the fear in your voice, I couldn’t think of anything but racing over to your apartment and protecting you. I’m not sure where this will end up, but we’re way past you just being my assistant.” “So what happens now? You make Jake Richfield’s life a living hell?” “He’ll be lucky if I stop there.”

The threat in Cash’s voice was real, and for a moment I felt bad for Jake. Cash was about to make his life an empty shell. “Just don’t do anything you can be hurt from.” He gently tucked my hair behind my ear so my bruise was visible. “I’m not worried about me. You’re the one he attacked.” “I’m fine, Cash. I’m not some piece of precious China that breaks easily.” I had no reason to get defensive. He was just showing me he cared. I knew this, but my gut was sending all sorts of red flags up, even though I had no idea why. Something in the way he’d become so affectionate made me think it was just a matter of time before this all fell apart. “Olivia, I’m not saying you can’t take of yourself. All I’m saying is I can take care of you too.” “Well, it’s not necessary. I’m sure you have other things to do on a Saturday afternoon.” Cash frowned, like what I’d said hurt him, and shook his head. “Nothing more important than you.” I moved toward the end of the couch, putting some distance between us, even though part of me wanted him to hold me in his arms and never let me go. “I’ll probably head out in a little while. Josie has a spare bedroom.” “What’s this about, Olivia?” “Nothing. I just don’t want to be in the way if you have something planned.” “What would I have planned that wouldn’t involve you tonight?” “I have no idea. Maybe work. Maybe some other plans you might not want to tell me about. I don’t know.” “What are you talking about? Did Jake say something?” I turned and stared at him, seeing him as Jake had described. A player who’d slept with more women than he could remember. Lying, I said, “No. Why?” “Because you’re acting like I did something wrong. What did he say?” I quickly stood to move away, not wanting to have this conversation. “Nothing. He said nothing.” “You’re lying. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me so at least I can explain.” Something exploded inside me, and I screamed, “Explain what? That you’re just like him? That you’ve slept with more women than you can remember and I likely don’t mean anything to you?” The look on his face crushed me. I hadn’t meant to say any of that, but somehow it all came flowing out of my mouth from somewhere deep in my mind. I couldn’t do this with him. Even if he was who Jake claimed he was, he didn’t deserve this. Quietly, I said, “I’m going to lie down for a bit.” And with that, I went to hide in his bedroom and hate myself for what I’d done. Somehow what Jake said had triggered that fear I’d had about Cash since the moment I realized I liked him. There were leagues, and he was out of mine. He came with a past that intimidated me and made me feel insignificant. I’d hoped my insecurities wouldn’t ruin this thing with him, but Jake’s words had brought them all front and center. I DIDN’T KNOW HOW LONG I lay there alone in Cash’s bed, but the moment he opened the door my stomach twisted into knots. I’d dropped all that emotional shit in his lap and there was no way we were ever going to move forward if we didn’t talk about it. Talking about it was the last thing I wanted to do, though. Masochism wasn’t my thing, and hearing about all the women he’d been with before me sounded like the purest form of emotional torture. My back turned to him, he slid in under the covers and pulled me close. I’d expected to feel him hard against my ass, but nothing pressed against me. This wasn’t about sex. If it had been, maybe I could have kept it together. No, this was about him being there for me and me being the kind of emotional wreck

who’d actually brought up his past because I felt inadequate. Fucking Jake! I’d been so happy with Cash. Maybe my insecurities would have reared their ugly heads at some point, but they hadn’t yet. Now that happiness was gone, replaced by the ugliness Jake had forced on me. The physical attack I could get past. Bruises faded and scratches healed. Words never went away, though. They replayed in the mind haunting until they became truth. “Olivia, you up?” he asked in a voice that flowed over me like silk. I pretended to be asleep, but it was no use. I had to face him. “Yeah, I’m up.” “Let’s talk.” His soft tone unsuccessfully disguised what I knew to be a command. Weaker men might have let me explode like I had and then wait for me to calm down. Not Cash. Used to having control, he’d given me time only because he wanted it, not because I demanded it. Dominant men were like that. It’s one of the reasons I’d fallen so hard for him. Now, though, it made for an inconvenient conversation I wasn’t really ready for. Rolling over, I avoided his gaze. He wasn’t going to let me get away with that either. Gently but firmly, he turned my face so I had no choice but to look at him. “I want us to talk, Olivia. The least you can do is look at me. After what you said out there, I think I deserve some answers.” “I don’t know what to say.” “Then I’ll talk. Jake Richfield wasn’t wrong when he told you I’d been with a lot of women. I’ve never denied that. I won’t apologize for my past. I don’t expect you to apologize for yours. But that has nothing to do with you and me and what we have together.” “I know. I don’t know why I said that before. I know what your past is, and even though it scared me a little, I hadn’t given it much thought until…” I let my sentence trail off, not wanting to say Jake’s name. “I’ve never pretended to be anyone but who I am, Olivia. If the fact that I’ve been with a lot of women before you is a problem, then there’s nothing I can do to change that. I can only say that since I began to care about you there hasn’t been anyone else.” His words sounded so final they scared me. “Are you saying you don’t want to see me anymore?” Leaning in, he kissed me softly on the lips. “No. I’m saying there hasn’t been anyone for a while and I don’t want anyone else.” “Oh.” I couldn’t look at him staring at me with those gorgeous blue eyes so close that I worried he could see inside me. “I’m sorry, Cash. I don’t know why what he said got under my skin, but it did. I hate that. I’m not some pathetic girl who can’t handle the man she’s with having a past. That’s teenage girl nonsense. That’s not me.” “I do want to tell you something about my past, though.” I shook my head and stopped his talking with a kiss. “No. No more about your past tonight. Tomorrow you can tell me anything, but tonight I just want it to be you and me.” He hesitated, and I kissed him again, not wanting to hear any more about other women. He was here with me. That’s all that counted. Reaching down, I stroked his quickly hardening cock, needing the closeness that sex with Cash would give me. I climbed on top of him and tilted my hips to feel the full length of him against my wet pussy. His hands slid down my sides and cupped my ass, even as his eyes showed me his concern remained. “I don’t want to hurt you if you’re still sore.” Sitting up on him, I pulled on his boxer briefs to reveal his thick, stiff cock. I wanted to feel that stretch me as he made love to me. “I want to feel sexy—the way I always feel when we’re together. Please don’t let him take that from me. I’ve never had that before. I love that feeling.” Cash eased me onto my back and slowly slipped my T-shirt and panties off, his mouth following

wherever his hands touched with kisses that made me feel adored. For the first time between us, our bodies joined not in lust so much as something more meaningful. Gentler than usual, he cradled my face in his hands as he entered me, staring down into my eyes with a look full of sweetness. Slowly thrusting in and out of me, he filled my body with his, stretching me to fit him. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him closer. I wanted his skin on mine, to feel each movement of his muscles as he made love to me. My hands slid over his back, and I reveled in his body’s power even as he could be so tender and attentive. We said nothing as we gave one another everything we were. I was bruised and hurt, but he soothed me by showing me I could still be that sexy woman he wanted when we were at the club. More than anything else, he made me feel safe and adored. My release rushed through me, and I clung to him as it made my legs quiver in ecstasy. He came soon after, filling me once again, and we remained there in each other’s arms, silent and sated. I could have stayed there in his hold forever, protected and worshipped and for the first time in my life wanting that. He rolled off me and pulled me close so my head rested on his shoulder. In the dim light of his bedroom, I traced my fingertip over the tattoo that stretched across his chest. LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Curious, I asked, “Why did you get this tattoo?” Cash smiled one of those thoroughly sexy grins I loved. “I wanted to get one that meant something to me. As the oldest brother, I often seem to be luckier than Stefan and especially Kane. People think because my father left me so much that it’s luck. It’s not luck. I was the son I was expected to be, unlike Stefan, who was the son who gave my father nothing but trouble. Kane was just the son my father never publicly recognized until right before his death.” “What about the ones on your arms?” He extended his right arm above me and looked up at it. “Each one was important when I got it. Now they just remind me of times past.” “I like the dragon with the green and black. Do you plan to get more?” “Probably.” I ran my finger over his chest to the right nipple pierced with a silver hoop. “And this? Planning on getting anything else pierced?” He laughed. “No. Got anything in mind?” “I once dated a guy who had his tongue pierced. That was pretty cool,” I said with a giggle. Squeezing me tightly to him, he growled in my ear. “A tongue piercing? I don’t think I could stand all that metal against the back of my teeth. Stefan’s damn near drives me out of my mind sometimes when he talks.” “I had no idea he had his tongue pierced. How did I miss that?” Cash growled again. “Enough about Stef.” Then he kissed me and I heard him sigh as he pulled me close to him again. Finally, we’d reached that sweet place I’d never believed could happen with Cassian March. I WOKE HOURS LATER WITH Cash still next to me. He lay there silently, his muscular chest moving up and down with each breath he took. Even sleeping, he was stunning. Fighting the urge to touch him, I watched him admiring the man who had awakened feelings in me I’d never known existed before. I considered waking him up, but he looked so peaceful there sleeping so soundly that I grabbed his shirt and my panties to head out to his kitchen for a bite to eat. Famished after everything I’d been through that day, I found a box of angel hair pasta and a jar of marinara sauce in a cabinet next to the stove and some shrimp in his

refrigerator. It wasn’t five star cuisine, but with a little culinary love, it could be a nice surprise for him when he woke up. As the water for the pasta came to a boil, I prepared the shrimp the way my mother taught me by steaming them and then quickly coating them with parmesan cheese I’d found on the fridge door. It wasn’t freshly grated cheese, but since Cash was a bachelor living alone, I considered myself lucky I’d found any of the ingredients for my surprise meal at all. With the shrimp done and the water boiling, I tossed the pasta into the pot and began looking through his cabinets for some thyme and rosemary, the secrets to my own special spaghetti sauce. Rifling through shelves full of boxes of expired crackers and cereal, I saw a few bottles of what looked like spices all the way in the back of the cabinet. I stretched to reach them and heard a voice say behind me, “I doubt you’ll find anything there.” Startled, I spun around and saw a woman standing in front of me across the center island. Tall with long jet black hair that shined like hair in shampoo commercials, she looked like a model, complete with bought and paid for boobs that even without a bra seemed to sit up perfectly near her collarbone. Her full lips shined with deep red lip gloss that I imagined never faded or feathered, and as I scanned her face for some flaw or imperfection, I saw nothing but perfectly applied makeup to skin I could only dream of having. “You must be the girl in Cassian’s life now. I’m Rachel. Nice to meet you.” She stuck her perfectly manicured hand out to shake mine and I shook hers, meekly apologizing for the shrimp remains that hung from my stubby nails. “I’m sorry. Who are you and what are you doing here?” “Cassian didn’t tell you about me? Bad boy.” She practically purred when she spoke, but even her smoothness couldn’t make what she said easy for me to hear. “I don’t understand. Who are you?” I asked a second time as I wiped my hands clean of shrimp guts. “Rachel, his wife. Well, his estranged wife, but wife nonetheless. I can’t believe he didn’t mention me,” she said with a smile that I was sure was anything but friendly. “His…his wife?” I stammered out, sick to my stomach after hearing the word wife four times in just seconds. She flashed me an even broader smile as I listened to her repeat her explanation about her being his estranged wife, but it didn’t matter. He’d never even given me a hint he was married, separated or not. He wore no wedding band, and there was no indication on his ring finger that he hid a ring when he was around me. Was it possible Cash had been married this whole time? How? No, I couldn’t believe it. A long line of women in his past? Yeah, I believed that. But married? The man I’d grown to love couldn’t be the kind of man who’d cheat on his wife and lead a double life. Rachel’s description of how close she and Cash were floated in and out of my brain as I tried to understand what was going on. She mentioned something about them marrying young, but after that all her words started to run into one another. My hands began to tremble as the truth of what this woman was saying settled into my brain. Cash was married and he’d been married the entire time. Everything we were was based on a lie. “Is that food I smell? I hope so because if this is a dream, I’m going to be really disappointed.” I turned to see Cash standing in the doorway to his bedroom in just his boxer briefs and instantly knew everything Rachel had said was the truth. She looked at him like he was a possession of hers, her eyes sliding over his muscular torso like it was something she owned and appreciated. She said something to him, but my heart pounding in my ears made it impossible for me to hear anything. I needed to get the hell out of there and away from him. As the water boiled over onto the stove

behind me, I stumbled toward his bedroom, pushing past Cash to quickly get into my pants and leave. He tried to explain and held my arm to stop me, but I yanked it away from him and ran as fast as I could with my arms full of my things and still dressed in his shirt. I didn’t know where I was going or how I’d get there, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay and listen to his lies when the evidence of the truth stood right in front of me with perfect looks and a purring voice coming from that smiling mouth of hers. What I’d always feared had come true. Cassian March and I were in different leagues, and even though for a short time it seemed like I could be the kind of woman he’d want, the reality was the kind of woman he should be with was standing in his kitchen in designer clothes and looking like a supermodel, likely eating the meal I’d prepared for him and me. Rachel belonged in that gorgeous condo with him, not me. I heard him call my name as I ran down the hall, his voice tinged with fear. I pressed the down arrow like a madwoman, somehow convincing the elevator to come quickly enough that I could escape this place before I had to hear him try to explain again. The last I saw of him he was trying to stop the doors from closing and apologizing again, his blue eyes pleading along with his words, but it was no use. Whatever we were had all been a lie.

Chapter Eighteen

Cassian I RACED DOWN THROUGH THE stairwell to catch up with Olivia, but she was gone by the time I made it to the main floor of my building. I’d run out of my condo without my phone, so I couldn’t even call her. Disgusted at how I’d fucked up, I rode the elevator back up to my place cursing my stupidity and found Rachel standing in the kitchen just where she’d been when she’d succeeded in ruining everything. Pushing past her to turn off the stove before pasta and water boiled completely over, I looked at her and felt sick. “Why are you still here?” “I hope I didn’t do something wrong there. I just came by to see how you were doing.” I had no idea how she knew I was there with someone, but she knew. “Rachel, I work every Saturday night. There’s no reason for you to believe I’d be home, so why are you here?” Her expression turned sheepish, and she pressed a smile onto her lips. “I just heard you were out with someone at the club last night and I wanted to know who she was. I never expected to find her here.” “You’re lying. Get the fuck out, Rachel. I don’t want you here.” I leaned against the counter and shook my head at how much I’d fucked everything up. Olivia had just told me she was worried about my past, and not twenty-four hours later, my past showed up acting like the possessive bitch she truly was. “Cash, she seems nice. A little wholesome for your taste, but she certainly is a change of pace from your usual. You didn’t give her that bruise, did you? I don’t remember you being that kind of man.” Turning to look at Rachel, I stared at the woman I’d once would have given my life for I adored her so much. Perfect with flawless makeup that made her look like the finest airbrushed picture, she was still beautiful in a way that most men would give their left arm for. To me, though, she looked fake. Maybe it was because I knew what ugliness lived under the designer clothes and plastic surgery. “I’m not interested in your opinion on my private life. You’re not a part of that anymore, so don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” I saw my words stung, but she wasn’t about to give up easily. Coming around the island, she stepped in front of me and reached out to touch my face, as if she wanted to console me after ruining everything between me and Olivia. Catching her by the wrist, I held her arm away from me and shook my head. “You can’t be mad at me, Cassian March. You know that. And I’ve known you long enough to know this girl will pass. They always do.” Fighting the urge to squeeze my hand even tighter around her bony wrist, I pushed her back away from me. “You don’t get it, do you, Rachel? We’re done. As for Olivia, you don’t understand that I could care for her because you don’t understand me. I’m convinced you never understood me.” “Don’t say that. We loved each other. We always will.” “I loved you. Fuck, I adored you, Rachel. You were everything to me. And what did I get in return? You cheated on me with the one person I have to see every fucking day! Don’t tell me you loved me. Don’t.” She stood there staring at me with that sexy look in her dark eyes she used so expertly on me and every other man she manipulated, and all I could think was I hated her. I hated how naïve I’d been to think she’d ever loved me. I hated how hurt I’d been when she tore my fucking heart out. I hated how empty my

life had been since her. And now I hated that the one good thing in my life had been ruined because of her. “Cash, baby, don’t be mad. If you really wanted me gone, you would have taken my key a long time ago. Admit it. We’re right for each other. Whatever this girl means now, it’ll pass and we can go back to the way we’ve been all these years. Nothing has to change.” “Get the fuck away from me! How can you stand there and act like you know anything about me? All I ever fucking wanted was to share my life with someone so I could leave behind the world of that club every night—someone who knows the kind of man I have to be there and still loves me. That’s all I ever wanted, and now that I found someone I might finally be able to have that life with, you come here to make sure I won’t have it.” Suddenly, the femme fatale my estranged wife had been for so long disappeared and the woman I’d loved stood in front of me. “Cash, you really care about this one, don’t you?” she asked in a soft voice I hadn’t heard her use in years. Turning away from her attempt at kindness, I walked past her toward my bedroom. “Leave your key on the counter when you go, Rachel.” I listened as my front door closed behind her, my mind scrambling for the answer to how I’d ever explain her to Olivia. I couldn’t lose the one person who’d made me believe I could have something more than just temporary happiness. Sex wasn’t enough anymore. For the first time in years, I had to figure out a way to win back a woman’s heart.

* AFTER SPENDING HOURS SITTING IN my car and staring up at Olivia’s apartment windows for any sign she’d returned, I had to admit winning her back was going to be harder than I’d thought. I had no idea where she was, and she wouldn’t answer my phone calls. She’d mentioned some friend name Josie, but I didn’t even know her friend’s last name. Thinking I’d get my chance to speak to her at work, I waited each day, my heart leaping in my chest whenever I heard footsteps coming toward my office, but she never showed. I couldn’t concentrate on work and I hadn’t slept since she left my place. By the time I left the club on Tuesday night, I’d nearly gone out of my mind thinking about her, so as I had every night since Saturday, I drove to her house and hoped to find her. Parked on the street across from her place like some kind of stalker, I waited and finally saw a light flicker on around three in the morning. Probably too late to be knocking on someone’s door, I did it anyway, unable to wait any more. I stood outside in her hallway until she finally gave in and answered the door. Her brown eyes still had the same look of hurt in them that I’d seen as she left my place days earlier, but the bruise on her cheek had faded slightly. “Cassian, it’s late. I need to go to bed.” She began to close the door, but I stuck my foot in to stop her. “I need to talk to you. Let me just explain.” “This isn’t about you or what you need. Go home to your wife, Cassian.” She leaned hard against the door, squeezing my foot between it and the doorjamb, but I couldn’t let her give up on us yet. “Olivia, let me in. At least let me explain so you know my side. Then I’ll go if you want.” The door stopped crushing my foot, and she finally released it and walked into her living room. Following her, I reached out to touch her, missing how she felt in my arms, but she pushed me away. “Say

what you have to say and then go.” “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Rachel. I wanted to. I tried at the club Friday night, and then I tried again Saturday. It just never happened.” Her expression twisted into an angry grimace. “Is that the best you can do? You’re a grown man, Cassian. Just admit you lied to me the entire time we were together. At least respect me enough to tell me the truth.” “It’s not the truth. Rachel and I haven’t been together as husband and wife for years. I never wanted to lie to you, Olivia. I just never found the right time to admit that I wasn’t divorced yet, but I swear to you we aren’t together.” “What’s the difference? You aren’t divorced, but you aren’t with her? Why should I believe you? She obviously has a key to your condo, and she looked right at home there. She’s perfect for you. Just the type of woman you probably always go after.” I stepped toward her, but she backed away with a look of disgust that made my heart feel like it was being squeezed in a vice. “Olivia, listen to me. I know I should have told you, but I swear, there’s nothing between me and Rachel. You and I have something great between us. Don’t let my stupid screw up ruin it.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she shook her head. “No. It was bad enough to think that I was just one in a long line of women. I can’t be the other woman for you. I won’t be.” I grabbed hold of her shoulders and made her look at me. The pain in her beautiful brown eyes nearly made me look away, but I forced myself to say what was in my heart. “Don’t do this. Please. I know I screwed up, but don’t let that ruin what we have. You’re the only woman for me. She’s nothing. Please don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me.” Olivia fought back the tears, but it was no use. They flowed down onto her cheeks as she sobbed, “There’s no us, Cassian. There’s you and her together and stupid me over here who was dumb enough to believe someone like you. How could I have been so blind?” “You weren’t blind. She means nothing to me. Olivia, I don’t want to lose you. For the first time in a long time, I want more and that’s because of you.” She hung her head and quietly said, “I don’t ever want to see you again. I won’t be coming back to work either.” Her words hit me like a fist to the face. Scrambling to find some way to change her mind, I held her close. “You can’t afford that. Come back to work, at least. I don’t want to lose you there.” She shook her head again and I knew I wasn’t getting through. Feeling her slip away, I begged, “Jesus, Olivia. Don’t do this.” She yanked her arm from my hold and pounded her fists on my chest as the tears rolled down her face. “Don’t do what, Cash? Make you fucking pay for lying to someone who foolishly cared about you? Do you feel bad, Cassian March? Do you?” God, the way she looked up at me with all that pain in her eyes killed me. “Olivia, I’m sorry. Please, I —” Burying her face in her hands, she sobbed, “Just go. Go back to your life and all the women you can fuck and just leave me alone.” I wanted to take her into my arms and make it all better, but I couldn’t. I’d fucked this up. What I’d always feared would happen had, and I had nobody to blame but myself. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to walk away and leave her there. If I did, I might never see her again, but she wouldn’t listen to me now. All I could do was give her some time and hope if I didn’t give up, she wouldn’t either.

MY PHONE VIBRATED IN MY pocket as I walked back to my car. Checking it, I saw Stefan’s name flash across the screen. He was the last person I wanted to talk to. I silenced it and turned my phone off. The only person I wanted to hear from refused to talk to me, so there was no point in keeping it on. Heading back to my condo, I thought of hundreds of ways to show Olivia I was sorry, but the reality was as long as I stayed married to Rachel, Olivia and I would never have a chance at anything. Even if I convinced her of how much I cared, I wasn’t able to offer her anything more than the present. She deserved more than that. I crawled into bed and smelled her perfume all over my sheets. Soft and flowery, it was warm and gentle and so her. Closing my eyes, I replayed our time together there as an ache settled into my chest. This was all I had left of her now. Someone banging on my front door roused me from my misery, and I answered it hoping that the impossible had happened and Olivia had decided to give us another chance. Instead, I saw Stefan and Kane standing in the hallway looking like they had bad news to deliver. “What? Whatever it is, I’m sure it could have waited until I get to the office tomorrow.” Stefan forced his way into my home and Kane followed, leaving me to close the door and deal with them. Taking a seat on the couch, Kane opened up the laptop he carried and turned it around for me to see. “This can’t wait.” “That gorgeous piece of ass from that website who came to interview you published an expose about the club. Ciara whatever the fuck her name is has all sorts of details in this article of hers,” Stefan ranted. “You said you had Olivia talk to her and she took care of it.” I thought back to that day and nodded as I replayed what I’d heard the two of them talk about. “I did. She got nothing from Olivia.” “Then where the fuck did this Ciara person get all this info about the fantasy rooms, Cash?” “I don’t know, Stefan.” “Where has Olivia been anyway? I didn’t see her in her office Monday or Tuesday.” I didn’t want to explain to my brother the whole mess I’d made of my relationship with her, so I simply shrugged as if I didn’t know what was going on with Olivia. Kane sat silently watching me, and I was sure he already had a sense that something had happened between us. “I thought you two were together now, Cash. What’s going on?” Stefan pushed further. “You don’t think she’d ever do anything to hurt us or the club, do you?” There was no way I could believe that. Olivia may have hated me now, but she wasn’t vindictive. No way. Kane finally spoke and everything I believed was thrown into doubt. “This is what that Ciara girl wrote. ‘A playground for Tampa’s big spenders, Club X is secretly an illegal sex club frequented by wealthy playboys and some of the most powerful men in our area.’” I avoided my brothers’ stares, but Kane knew what I’d been up to with Olivia in the fantasy rooms. Was it possible she’d told Ciara that? But members of the club would know those things too. “For what it’s worth, Cash, I don’t think Olivia would ever do that. She’s not that type of person.” I looked at Kane and wanted to believe he was right. The problem was after what had happened between Olivia and me, maybe she felt I deserved something like this. What was the old saying? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Inhaling, I let the air out of my lungs slowly and sat back against the couch. “Olivia found out about Rachel before I could tell her. We’re finished, at least for now.” My brothers looked at me like I’d just admitted to committing murder. Their expressions were a mix of shock and confusion. I guessed since neither one of them had seen me with any woman for more than a

few hours since Rachel, they’d gotten used to me being a man whore. “I thought you were going to tell her Friday night when you were in the fantasy room,” Kane said. “I tried, but somehow I just never found the right words.” Stefan looked confused. “Then how did she find out?” “Rachel came by Saturday night when Olivia and I were here. She told her she was my wife, and Olivia ran out of here before I could explain exactly what Rachel was.” “Then that’s it. She’s pissed at you and took it out on all of us.” Kane shook his head, still not believing Olivia would do it. “I don’t think so, Stefan. Olivia isn’t vicious or mean. She’s been around all of us for a while now, and even if things didn’t work out with Cash, I still don’t think she’d betray us. There’s got to be another answer.” “Have you talked to her since Saturday?” Stefan asked. I nodded, not wanting to tell them that she’d quit already. With each minute, I began to believe that it had been Olivia who’d been the source for Ciara Danson’s article. “What did she say? How do you two plan to work together now that you’re not together? And by the way, I hope you see that even though I routinely hook up with my bartenders, they don’t talk to the press.” I looked at Stefan and shook my head in disgust. “Your hook ups usually end up in lawsuits that cost us millions, Stefan, so don’t start with that shit. As for us working together, Olivia quit, but she can’t afford to leave so I don’t know where we stand.” “She quit? Then she definitely is the one who spoke to that website. We need to decide what we’re going to do. I say we sue that rag.” Kane sat back against the couch and looked like he was thinking things through. “I don’t think it was Olivia, but I agree with Stefan that we need to do something. You may have been successful in getting the cops and the politicians to become members of the club, but if they think their jobs are in jeopardy because of this website, we’ll be on our own. Without them, we can’t stay open. Even that fuck Shank won’t be around to help.” Stefan spun the laptop around to face me and pointed at the screen. “Read this.” My eyes scanned the words just beneath his fingertip. “Club X may appear like your average, run-ofthe-mill nightclub, but the upstairs floors hide a dirty little secret. Set up like their own personal brothel, the fantasy rooms at the March brothers’ club are little more than a whorehouse for the owners.” Those words did just what they were intended to do, and I pushed the laptop away. There was no denying it now. Olivia had sold us out to Ciara Danson after what had happened between us, and now the future of my club was in doubt. Fuck! I stood and walked over to the window to hide the pain I knew was written all over my face. “I’ll call Ben Jessup in the morning and see what our options are. Until we find out, it’s business as usual. I’ll deal with Shank too, so don’t worry. We’re not shut down yet.” “What about Olivia?” Kane asked with a hint of concern in his voice. “What about her? She fucking betrayed me—betrayed us—so there’s nothing more about Olivia. Let me get some sleep, and I’ll let you know what Ben and Shank say after I speak to them.” As Stefan headed out the door, I heard him say, “Women. Now you see why I only play, Cash. Take your little brother’s advice. Fuck ’em and forget ’em.” How ironic that he, of all people, thought he should give me relationship advice. If I didn’t feel like I’d just been gutted, I would have taken a shot at his long deserving face. Kane tapped me on the shoulder. “Cash, I think you got it wrong about Olivia.” Turning to face him, I looked into his blue eyes so similar to mine and saw he was serious. “You heard what that story said. Tell me that doesn’t sound like Olivia, Kane.”

“My gut says you’re wrong. Don’t make any decisions about her just yet, okay? Let me check some things out first before you decide to end it for good.” I chucked him on the shoulder and pretended like this all wasn’t tearing me up inside. “Check all you need to, but she and I are done.” “Okay, Cash. I’ll see you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.” He left me standing there looking out at the gorgeous view that had been the reason I bought this place. Fresh off my breakup with Rachel, I’d been looking for somewhere I could have a good time, but what had clinched the sale was this view. All those women I brought here, and never once had I taken the time to just stand there to look out at the world with anyone until Olivia. I’d been so sure she was different from all of them. How fucking wrong I’d been.

Chapter Nineteen

Olivia I WATCHED AS THE DOOR closed and Cash walked out of my life, and all I could think of was how stupid I’d been. There are leagues, Olivia. Who did you think you were kidding thinking you could be with someone like Cassian March? Whatever we’d had together had been all in my mind. He’d never cared. He was just another player who cared only about getting laid. I’d been such a fool! Curling up on the couch, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming again. I’d missed Cash so much the past few days. Each night I’d lay in bed as my mind replayed memories of us, unable to stop myself from wishing he was right there next to me even as I told myself it all had been a lie. I thought I’d cried him out of my system, but just seeing him again tonight had brought all the sadness back like a tidal wave. I missed him so much. Not having him next to me made my chest ache. But it didn’t matter. Whatever I’d thought we had was nothing but a lie. I had to accept that. A knock on my front door shook me from my misery, and I opened it sure I couldn’t handle any more of Cash’s excuses. I wanted to lash out, and when I saw the person standing in my building’s hallway, that rage only intensified. There right in front of me stood Cash’s wife in all her model-perfect glory wearing a stunning white and black Calvin Klein sheath dress and sky high black Louboutin pumps with their trademark red soles. “Go away. I’m not seeing him anymore, so he’s all yours. I hope you two enjoy your life together.” “Let me in, please. I’d like to talk to you.” I couldn’t believe my ears! She wanted to talk to me? “No. Go away. I have nothing to say to you other than I didn’t know he was married. I am sorry about that.” “Olivia? That’s it, right? Olivia? Let me in. I want to explain.” What on earth could she have to explain? Why would the wronged wife want to explain anything to me? I was the mistress, albeit an unwitting one. Wives didn’t explain things to mistresses. “I don’t think so, Rachel. Whatever’s going on, I don’t want to be a part of it.” She stepped toward the door and placed her hand over mine. “Give me five minutes. I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.” I looked down at her long fingers tipped with their perfectly manicured red nails and worried if I didn’t agree she might gouge my eyes out with those talons. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say, but if listening meant the end of this whole ugly mess, then I could spare five minutes. It wasn’t like I was going to be sleeping any time soon. Standing back, I held the door and watched as she sauntered past me into my apartment. Instantly, I felt out of place in my own home. “What do you want to say, Rachel?” She sat down on the couch and waved me over. “Come. I want to tell you the story of Cassian March.” I plopped down in my favorite chair and crossed my arms. “I already know that story. It’s an oldie and not a goodie. He’s a player and I got played. What I can’t figure out is why you’re here to say anything to me about him. I already told you I won’t be bothering with him anymore. He’s all yours.” Rachel shook her head. “No, he hasn’t been mine for a long time. And just in case you’re wondering who left who, he left me.”

I couldn’t hide my surprise at that bit of news. “Really?” She flashed me a million dollar smile. “I bet you didn’t think any man would ever leave someone like me. Not true. Cassian left me and he had good reason to.” Nothing like being humble. “I can’t imagine what that could be.” “I cheated on him with his brother Stefan.” Suddenly, all the nasty looks and comments Cash had made about his brother made sense. No wonder he hadn’t wanted me to spend any time around Stefan. “He obviously forgave you. You’re still in his life.” “I don’t think he’s ever forgiven either of us, but Stefan is blood. I don’t know why he kept me around for so long.” “I think it’s a bit disingenuous to sit here and tell me you don’t know why your husband kept you in his life, Rachel. He still loves you. It’s that simple.” She shook her head and frowned. “No, he doesn’t. I wanted to think he still loved me all this time, but it was too easy for him to tell me he didn’t want me in his life anymore when he met you. I never had a chance once you showed up on the scene.” A sudden laugh escaped from my throat, and I quickly covered my mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at what seems to really bother you, but you never had a chance once he met me? You’ve got to be kidding me. I have eyes, you know. No man would choose me over you.” “He did. He told me a while ago that he wasn’t interested in having me in his life anymore. I think he might have kept me around all this time just to punish me, or maybe it was to punish himself. I’m not sure. All I know is that he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore, and I knew by that look in his eyes that he was crazy about someone. He told me you were different from anyone he’d ever been with, and I knew I’d lost him for good this time.” “When did you two separate?” “Right after he caught me with Stefan five years ago. You should have seen him before I did that. The Cassian you know who’s so cold and controlled all the time didn’t exist back then. God, he was so incredible. I fell in love with him the day I met him. He was so sweet. That’s the only way I can describe him then. He fell hard for me, and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.” “And then you cheated on him with his brother.” I couldn’t stop myself from showing her my disgust. She’d had an incredible man, and she’d thrown him away, just like I imagined she threw away whatever else she didn’t give a damn about. Women like her saw everything as disposable, including people. For a moment, Rachel’s perfect face twisted in what looked like pain but then the façade returned along with that fabulous smile. “Not exactly. We fell in love and married. He was young and wealthy and I’d snagged one of the hottest guys in town. Then everything changed. He wanted a family, but I liked our life like it was. You see, our Cassian isn’t by his nature the man whore he’s been for so long. He wants a wife who’ll give him children so he can escape the life he has to live at work, but I wasn’t that woman. I wanted the man he’d been when I met him—wild and sexy and devoted to me.” “Why Stefan then? Because he’s a player who wouldn’t get serious?” “I don’t know. We were thrown together so often and it just happened. Before I knew it, I’d cheated on my husband and he found out.” “Then why didn’t he divorce you if he didn’t want you back?” “One word. Pre-nup. He never had me sign one. He was so in love that he never even asked. I think he believes if he divorces me I’ll make damn sure I get as much of that club as I can.” “Wouldn’t you? It looks like you can afford the best lawyers in town, so you’d probably keep him and his brothers in court with that for ages, all the while making his life and theirs a living hell.” “I don’t want that club of his. All I wanted was him, but that’s not going to happen.”

“So you still love him?” I asked, needing to know, even though it didn’t matter anymore. “I do. I’d take him back in a heartbeat. I’ve always loved him, but I ruined what we had. I know that. I’d just always hoped he wouldn’t find anyone else and we’d get back together eventually. I thought that was going to happen since all he’s dated since me were women he just wanted to sleep with. Until you. Once you came along, I knew any hope of us getting back together was gone.” “Why are you telling me all of this, Rachel? Nothing’s changed. You’re still his wife, and he still lied about you.” “Because for the first time in years, he was happy. That was because of you. Those beautiful blue eyes that for so long seemed so cold finally had that look back in them that he used to have with me. That was you. You did that for him.” I cut her off because I just couldn’t hear any more. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I’m just not—” “Maybe I’m hoping that by telling you this he’ll finally be happy and I’ll have some good karma. I never wanted to hurt him, and I certainly don’t want to see him miss out on the happiness he deserves. I’d hoped it could be with me, even after what I did, but I know that’s not possible.” I’d heard enough. Standing to show her to the door, I shook my head. “He’s still married to you, Rachel. As long as that doesn’t change, he and I can never be anything.” She walked toward me and stopped to open her purse. Reaching in, she took out a stack of papers and held them up to show me. “I’m giving him these tomorrow. As long as he signs them, we won’t be married for much longer. I want nothing from him, so I won’t be dragging this out to hurt him or his brothers. The way is cleared for you. I won’t cause you any problems from now on.” I leaned forward to read the words on the paper and saw she was telling the truth. Looking up at her, I asked, “Why are you doing this, Rachel?” “It’s just time. I figure if Cassian can find happiness, maybe I can too, but that can’t happen if we stay stuck in the past together. Give him a chance, Olivia. You might just get to see that man he was before I hurt him.” I closed the door behind her and remembered how open and gentle Cash had been the last time we were together. I’d already seen that man, and I missed him. But could I go back to him?

* JOSIE SIPPED ON HER MORNING coffee and listened as I told her everything, from Jake’s attacking me to Cash having a wife who looked like one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, stopping me every so often just to make sure she understood my story. When I finished, I sat back in my chair and let out a sigh. “So that’s the whole story. Now what do I do?” “I have no idea. All I know is that for someone who’s supposed to be so fucking boring, you live one hell of a life. I guess you have to take things one at a time. What are you going to do about Jake?” “There’s nothing to do about Jake. I’m done with him. He hated being stuck in the friend zone? Well, now he can fuck himself because I don’t even want to be friends with him. And with what I heard Cash do when I was at his place, Jake’s going to need friends now more than ever.” “Did you tell Erin yet? You know she’s had it bad for him forever.” “No. How can I tell her the guy she obviously idolizes attacked me? But he said something about being with both of you. Do you know anything about that?” Josie sneered at my mention of her with Jake. “No. If she’s been with him, it’s news to me and not good news. I knew he was a shit way back when. His problem has always been the same. He’s spoiled

rich and thinks he can have whatever he wants because of it. I hope Cash ruined him for what he did to you.” “I think at some point I’m going to have to tell Erin what happened, Josie. What if he tried to do something like that to her too?” “Jake’s an ass, but I never thought he’d do something so awful, Liv. Erin just can’t see how much he’s not that boy from high school anymore. I can’t tell her. She won’t listen to a word from me about him.” “I don’t know how I’m going to handle that. I don’t give a shit about his feelings, but Erin is a good friend.” “I’d say dealing with her is going to be easy compared to deciding what to do about you and Cash.” “I know you aren’t his number one fan. You probably think I should leave him in the rearview mirror, right?” She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. “You always think I dislike your guys, Liv. That’s not true. I just want to be sure he deserves you. He is still married. That fact is inescapable.” Looking down at my hands in my lap, I mumbled at her succinct statement of the hardest part of the whole thing with him. “I know.” “But unlike other married men who say they’re not with their wives, he actually told the truth. Add to that the bizarre visit and confession from the barracuda, and I have to wonder if the marriage thing is as big a deal as you first thought.” Chuckling, she added, “I mean, it’s not every mistress who gets a visit from the wife pleading with her to go with the husband.” “Thank you, but if we can never call me that again, that would be good.” Josie reached over and slapped my knee. “Oh, come on. It’s got a sexy, reality TV show vibe to it, don’t you think? Olivia, the mistress, is visited late one night by the wife, Rachel Barracuda, hell bent on convincing the other woman to take her man, no matter what.” “Really? No, thank you, and if it had been reality TV, there would have been hair pulling and screaming. Sorry to disappoint, but all we did was talk.” Josie’s eyes lit up with excitement. “And one of you would have ended up naked just in time for him to walk in and join you both.” I nearly choked on my coffee. “Uh, that’s porn, not reality TV, Josie!” “Sorry. I told you I’m living vicariously through you these days. I guess I need to get out and get my own life, huh?” “Could we get back to my mess and deal with your lack of a life later? What would you do if you were in my shoes?” She took a deep breath and blew it out until there was no more air left to expel. “I’d go back to him, especially since you know Rachel is filing for divorce. I’m never a fan of lying, but it’s not like he had a little wife at home with some kids he was stepping out on. That relationship has been dead for a while. Plus, you need that job, Liv, and you like it there.” “I can get another job.” “Okay. Then it’s all about Cassian.” That had been the truth since the first moment I laid eyes on him. “I can’t get another Cash.” She smiled sweetly. “Then there’s your answer, Liv.” “Now I just have to find the courage to go back to my job in a few hours wearing my heart on my sleeve. No sweat, right?” Standing, Josie took her mug out to the kitchen and returned to where I sat to grab her purse. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” “Shakespeare before nine a.m.?”

She flung her purse over her shoulder and shrugged. “I know. I’m a wild woman today. Call me with all the details, but remember, you got this. The guy’s crazy about you, Liv. Now you just have to show him you’re crazy about him. You two can work this out.” “Yeah, I know. I’ll call you later.” I finished my coffee and with caffeine coursing through my veins, I summoned the courage to go back to my job and Cassian March. At least I could believe it wasn’t as if his brothers knew everything that had happened between us. This was between Cash and me. Why didn’t that make me feel any better?

Chapter Twenty

Olivia I PARKED MY CAR IN my usual spot outside of the Club X building and closed my eyes to calm my nerves. My stomach had been doing somersaults from the moment I left my apartment, and now that I sat just yards away from where Cash was, I thought I might throw up from fear. What if he’d changed his mind after I sent him away? I’d tried to call him three times that morning, and each time my call had been sent to voicemail. Checking out my look in the mirror, I tried to reassure myself that Josie was right. Cash was crazy about me. Now I had to show him I was crazy about him. You can do this. I hoped that Beck’s Loser playing on the radio at that moment wasn’t a sign or bad omen. Pushing that silly thought out of my mind, I took one last deep breath and headed toward the front door. I could do this. This was the new Olivia, Version 2.0, and she could handle this, no problem. The bar area looked empty as it always did when the club was closed, and as I walked through I looked for Stefan or Kane, but they didn’t seem to be anywhere nearby. All the better. I wasn’t in the mood to make small talk. I’d practiced what I would say to Cash half a dozen times on the drive there, and I didn’t want to forget it all by getting stuck in some distracting conversation, particularly with Stefan. As I approached my office, I saw a box sitting next to my door. I got closer and realized it contained everything from my office. He’d taken me seriously when I said I quit. My bravado sank to its lowest point. This was not going according to plan already. Cash’s door was slightly ajar, so I knocked lightly and peeked my head in hoping to be greeted by his typical workday smile. He looked up from his laptop and instead of seeing a smile, all I saw were his eyes ice cold staring back at me. “Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you, if you’re free.” “Olivia, your things are in the box outside of your office. Your last paycheck will be direct deposited in your account, as usual.” And with that he returned to typing away on his laptop, effectively dismissing me. I stood there with my cheek pressed up to the side of his door in shock. Why was he acting so cold toward me? What had changed? I pushed the door open and stepped into his office, closing it behind me so we could have this discussion in private. He looked up as the door clicked closed, but again returned his attention to his work, leaving me standing there feeling awkward and unwanted. “Cash, about my resignation. I’ve thought about it and I’d really like it if we could sit down and talk about things,” I said quietly, my plans barely holding up under his frigid reception. Without even looking up, he said, “I’m not interested in talking about anything. Your things are outside in the box.” His tone was so cold, so distant, that I stepped back feeling like I’d been slapped across the face. This man who’d been so wonderful now refused to even acknowledge my request to speak to him. What had happened? “Why are you being like this? I thought we could…that you…What’s changed between us, Cash?”

He spun his laptop around to face me. “This changed between us, Olivia.” I sat down in front of his desk and began reading an article on the club written by Ciara Danson. Somehow, she’d found a way to get information only available to members, and she’d gone to town ripping Cash and his brothers as “owners of a modern day whorehouse” and “overgrown boys who used their business as a front to satisfy their own depraved desires.” The entire article smacked of ignorance and petty jealousy, and by the time I finished reading what Ciara had written, I understood what had changed. He thought I’d betrayed him and everything we’d had together. I looked up and saw his expression full of hatred for me. “I didn’t do this, Cash. You can’t believe I’d ever do something like this to you and your brothers.” “Tell me that doesn’t sound exactly like something you’d say. That it doesn’t sound like what you wanted to say to me when you left my place the other night.” “No, I was hurt. I’ll admit that, but I wouldn’t do that to you. I care about you. You have to know that.” He turned his laptop around toward him and stared over it at me. “I don’t know anything like that. All I know is that reporter wrote things only a member could know, and of all the members, you’re the only one I see with a reason to want this place closed.” “No! That’s not true. I came here today to tell you I wanted to keep working here…” I stopped and tried to collect my thoughts as my mind reeled from his hurtful words. “I came here because I wanted to tell you that I miss you. I’d hoped we could try again.” “There’s nothing more to try.” I fought back the tears as his words felt like they were cutting into my heart. This time he didn’t turn away but just stared at me with a look full of hate. My emotions began to spin out of control, and I scrambled for anything that would convince him I wasn’t the one who’d betrayed him. “Don’t do this, Cash. I swear I never spoke to her, except that day right here in your office. I wouldn’t do that, no matter how hurt I was about what happened the other day. You have to believe me. I didn’t do that.” He sat there saying nothing, his expression emotionless like everything he’d felt for me had hardened over. I’d never felt so alone just inches away from another person in my entire life. “Cash, please listen to me. I thought about what you said last night and you were right. I don’t want to throw away what we have. Please…” My words weren’t getting through. He sat there just staring at me, his blue eyes so icy I wanted to look away. All the sexiness and tenderness they’d held in the past were gone. When he finally spoke again, his words crushed me. “Go home, Olivia. There’s nothing here for you anymore.” I stood to leave, stunned at how distant and uncaring he’d been and unsure what to do next. I couldn’t leave things like this, but he wasn’t even listening to me. I walked out to collect my things from the cardboard box and couldn’t hold back the tears any longer when I saw the nameplate he’d had made for me right after I began working for him. Running my fingers over the gold outline of my name, I cried as I remembered how wonderful things had been then. A voice behind me quietly said my name, and I looked up to see Kane standing over me. I lifted the box and struggled to wipe my tears away so he didn’t see me falling apart right there outside my former office. “Hey, I was just getting my stuff. I guess you know all about what happened and you think I told that Ciara woman everything too.” Kane reached out and took the box from my arms. “Here, let me take this. Let’s go into the club and

talk for a minute.” I followed him, still a wreck emotionally from Cash’s coldness but happy at least one of them didn’t think I’d betrayed their trust. He set the box down on the bar and waved someone over. I turned to see Stefan smiling at me. “Hey, Olivia. I see Cash is still not feeling in a forgiving mood. Not that I think you were part of that Ciara’s story.” “He thinks I told her things, but I swear to you both I didn’t do that. I have no idea how she found out details about the fantasy rooms, but it wasn’t me,” I sobbed, unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks again. Drying my eyes, I added, “I told Cash all that too, but he won’t listen.” “My brother’s stubborn,” Stefan said with a smile. “Don’t worry. Once we figure out who was behind this, he’ll warm up again.” I hung my head, embarrassed I couldn’t keep it together in front of these two men. “I don’t think so. He was so distant toward me you’d swear we’d never been anything but strangers to one another.” “That’s how you can tell you got to him. When Cash is hurt, he goes into himself. It’s like he presses a button and the walls just go up around him.” It didn’t help to think I’d gotten to him as the memory of his iciness replayed in my mind. Never before had anyone shut me out so completely and so effortlessly, or at least it seemed that way. “You can deal with Cash later, but for now, who do you think could have been Ciara’s source?” Kane asked. I shook my head. “I have no idea. I’ve never seen her since that day in his office.” “Well, I saw her Monday night outside with some guy. Tall, dirty blond hair, acted like a jackass when he couldn’t get in. They seemed very interested in one another, but he couldn’t be her source since he couldn’t even get in the door.” Kane’s words rang in my ears. “Tall with dirty blond hair? Was he wearing a black watch with a huge face?” “Yeah. You know him?” Before I could answer, Stefan slammed his hand down on the bar. “Jake! After Cash made me void his membership the other day, I knew Richfield was pissed. I told him to just let Cash calm down, that it likely wasn’t anything that had to be permanent, but he threatened to make him pay for what he’d done. I figured he was just blowing off steam.” I raised my hand to my face to cover the last of the bruise that hadn’t completely faded from my cheek. “Jake’s all about blowing off steam these days, it seems.” Stefan leaned down and narrowed his eyes to look at me. “Did something happen with Jake and you? Is that what made Cash go all scorched earth on him?” Nodding, I looked away, embarrassed. “Yeah. It’s no big deal.” “Fuck it isn’t. Jake hit you? If I’d have known, I’d have kicked Richfield’s ass the minute I got off the phone with Cash. Are you okay?” “I’m fine. I’m more worried about what Ciara Danson’s article is going to do to the club than a bruise or two from some jackass. Isn’t there anything that can be done about it?” “I think it’s time for me to pay Miss Danson a visit,” Kane said with a smile. “You know, to convince her and her boss that the article needs to go.” I could only imagine what Kane would do to the flirty Ciara Danson. She’d likely try to use her feminine charms on him, but I didn’t see that ploy working on someone like Kane. But if it was Jake who talked to her, I wanted to hear the truth from her firsthand. “I want to go with you,” I said, forgetting how scary this brother could be. He looked over at me and

raised his eyebrows, like I’d just made the most bizarre suggestion, but merely shrugged after a moment. “Since Jake likely did this because of me, I’d like to know for sure if he’s her source.” “That’s fine with me. We might even stop over at his place if I’m in the mood after talking to her. Just so you know.” Stefan moved to join us, but Kane held his hand up to stop him. “You stay here with Cash. I’ll let you know what happens.” “I’m not exactly the person he wants to be around when his love life is crashing down around him, you know?” I shot him a knowing glance as Kane answered, “And you think he’d be happier with you and Olivia going somewhere together?” A sly smile spread across Stefan’s lips. “Point taken. Give Jake a shot for me. Better yet, I’ll handle that myself.” He turned toward me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about Cash, Olivia. It’ll all work out.” As I turned to follow Kane, I mumbled, “I hope so. Right now, I can’t see it.”

* SPENDING TIME WITH KANE TURNED out to be far different than what I’d expected. The largest and scariest Club X brother said almost nothing to me the entire time we rode to the offices of All The Rage in his black 69 Mustang, but strangely enough, the silence didn’t make me uncomfortable. Unlike with Cash, Kane not talking felt right. We walked into the building where Ciara Danson worked and found her sitting in a cubicle on the second floor. The look on her smarmy face showed she recognized me immediately, but I noticed unlike when she’d come to interview Cash, she wasn’t dressed so her coworkers could see all the blessings that God had given her. She’d have to use something else if she intended to charm this brother. “I guess you saw the article, Miss Lucas. Your boss is probably very unhappy, but I’d have thought he’d come here himself instead of sending his secretary and one of the club’s bouncers.” Amused by her ignorance, I smiled and said, “Ciara, this is Kane. He’s one of the owners of Club X.” She looked him up and down, obviously liking what she saw, and smacked her lips. “Nice to meet you, Kane. I’m sorry, but I didn’t realize there was a third brother involved in the club. All my source told me about was Cassian and Stefan. If they had told me about you…” Kane stared down at her with his usual steely look, unfazed by her attempt at flirting with him. “Let me tell you what’s going to happen, Miss Danson. I’m going to turn around and go speak to your boss. When he asks me why I think you should get rid of that article, I’m going to explain to him just who Ciara Danson is. Seems you’ve had a few run-ins with the law, and from what I hear, that degree of yours isn’t all you claim it to be. Florida State is a big school, but with the right man searching, it’s easy to find out the truth.” The tone in his deep, raspy voice should have told her to stop while she was ahead, but Ciara wasn’t going to give up so easily. Looking up at him with her big blue eyes, she said syrupy sweet, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but perhaps we could meet over a few drinks and discuss this.” Kane let her speak and then continued, “Now you can delete that article and everything associated with it and keep your job snooping into exciting events like pie eating contests and other nonsense worthy of your time, or you can claim some kind of journalistic ethics and I can go in there and get you fired. Your choice.” I’d never heard Kane say so much at one time. Ciara stared up at him with a stunned look, like she’d

just been slapped across the face. Everything seemed to stop for a moment, and then she turned in her seat to face her laptop. “Fine. You win.” She typed a few words and before our eyes the article disappeared from the site. When she claimed it was all gone, Kane walked behind her and leaned over her to type his own words onto a screen I’d never seen on my computer. A few keystrokes later, he stood up to his full height and returned to my side. “And now you’re going to tell us who your source was,” Kane said in a flat voice. “It’s not enough that I deleted everything?” Ciara whined, all her charm and flirtatiousness gone now. “No. Tell Olivia who your source was, or I’m heading into your boss’s office.” Ciara hesitated, and Kane turned to walk away. “Okay! His name was Jake. I met him outside the club the other night when he was denied entrance, even though he’s a member. I heard him bitching about the owners, and I figured he was ripe for the picking. He told me everything.” Hearing her confirm what I already suspected didn’t make the betrayal any easier. Kane threatened Ciara with revealing her past one more time before we left, and then we headed back to his car. Closing the car door, I turned to face him, dying to know what she’d done to get arrested. “You have to tell me. What did the lovely Ciara do to get in trouble?” Kane started the engine and shifted the car into gear. With a slight smile, he said, “Our little Ciara has a penchant for the five-finger discount. And her real name isn’t Ciara Danson. It’s Cheryl.” “Shoplifting? And a new, sexy name? How did you find out?” “That’s my job, Olivia. I handle all the dirty work for Club X—the sex, the fantasies, and finding out things about the people who want to come to the club.” He turned his head and smiled at me. “And yes, I know all about you. That’s why I was pretty sure you didn’t do this.” “There’s not much to know, I guess. Investigating me must have taken all of five minutes.” His smile grew bigger, and he chuckled. “You’re one of the rare people I’ve met in this business. You have no real vices, no problems with the law, and from all reports, you’re honest.” “Pretty boring, huh?” “Not so much. Seems to me those are the perfect qualities for an executive assistant.” Kane’s allusion to my working for Cash again buoyed my spirits. We pulled up to the front of the club, but it was obvious that Kane had other places to go rather than return to work. I would have felt better if he was with me when I walked back into the club, but I had a feeling I knew where he was going. “You aren’t coming in?” Shaking his head, he narrowed his eyes to slits. “No. I’m going to pay Jake Richfield a visit.” “Oh. Okay. I’d say be careful, but I think he’s the one who needs to worry about that.” Kane chuckled low and looked over at Club X. “I think you have a box to take care of. Tell Stefan I’ll be back later.” “Okay.” I got out of the car and leaned back in through the window. “And thanks for believing in me, Kane. I appreciate it.” “Any time, Olivia. Don’t worry about Cash. Things have a way of working out.” “Yeah. But hey, if this is the last time I see you because I don’t have a job anymore, it was nice meeting you. You turned out to be way different than I thought you were. Even if what you do isn’t exactly legal.” That rare, genuine Kane smile brightened up his face and went all the way to his blue eyes. “The club is the club. I let Cash worry about the legality of it. As for me, don’t tell anyone how I really am. I won’t be able to do my job if people think I’m a nice guy. Let that be our little secret.” “Got it.” As he drove away, I looked at the front door of Club X with a lump in my throat. Whatever lay behind

that door, I had to face it, even if it meant the end of my time there.

Chapter Twenty-One

Cassian STARING DOWN AT THE PAPERS in front of me, I breathed a sigh of relief. All I had to do was sign on the bottom line and my marriage to Rachel would be over. No muss. No fuss. No dragging my brothers and me through hell so she could peel off a piece of the club for herself. She’d given me everything I’d hoped for. Before she’d left, I asked her the natural question, knowing I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth but needing to ask anyway. I had to know. Why now? Why, after years apart, was she willing to walk away amicably now? Her answer? Uncharacteristically philosophical for a woman who cared more about the outside of people than the inside. “This is a chance for us to be happy, Cassian. Take it and don’t look back.” Looking back was what I’d done for so long I wasn’t sure I knew how to look ahead anymore. My life since that night I caught her and my brother together had been one long look back wishing what I’d believed was real. Every woman I’d slept with since then had been an effort to avoid looking forward to a future I didn’t want to admit. In some way, never divorcing Rachel meant never having to move on. As wrong as that was, it was also comforting. A meaningless marriage, it still gave me an excuse not to get serious about anyone. Somewhere deep inside I’d always known it was a cop out, but it was safe. Then Olivia came along and safe went out the window. I had a choice to make. I could either spend my life alone, sleeping with women for what they gave me physically, or I could listen to that voice inside me that had been whispering that same refrain since nearly the minute I’d met her. She could be the one. KANE SAT IN HIS OFFICE doing whatever the hell he did during the day. I tapped on the door, unable to contain my curiosity anymore. He looked up from his laptop and shot me a casual glance as he closed it. “Stefan told me what Ciara Danson said.” “Yeah, it turned out pretty much how I thought it would. I think the only reason she didn’t offer to fuck me right there in her cubicle was because Olivia was with me, though. That woman’s got desperate written all over her.” “So you took care of it?” “Fucking Ciara?” I stood silently staring at him, not in the mood for brotherly ass busting. “The article.” “All taken care of, Cash. Club X is safe again.” “Good.” Stretching his arms above his head, Kane laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. “And I took care of Jake Richfield too, but that was more for fun than anything else. Men who hit women are fucking scumbags. They need to be taught a lesson.” “Good.” “What about Shank? What does he have to say about all of this?”

“He’s coming by later, so we’ll have to see.” He waited for me to speak again, but I simply nodded and turned to leave. As much as I wanted to know what, if anything, Olivia had said to him, I couldn’t bring myself to ask. “Do you still have an assistant? I didn’t see her when I got back.” “I don’t know.” “You should have known she wouldn’t do that to you or us, Cash. Not all women are like Rachel. For what it’s worth, I like Olivia. She’s genuine. That can’t be said about many people anymore.” “Yeah.” “Maybe it’s time to let go of the past.” I looked at him, surprised at his words. “You’re going to tell me to let go of the past?” “This isn’t about me, Cash. I fight to escape my past every day. It seems like you’re happy to be stuck there.” “Thanks, Kane. I’ll see you later.” “My pleasure. Advice is always free.” JOHN SHERIDAN STROLLED INTO MY office about an hour later with a look on his ugly face that told me he thought our recent misstep with Ciara Danson gave him the upper hand. Taking a seat in front of my desk, he leaned back and shook his head. “Fucking female reporter. You know she’s got a record? Petty theft or some kind of bullshit like that.” “Give me a minute, John. I want my brothers here for this.” I picked up the phone and told Kane to come down to my office. Stefan’s phone just rang until his damn voicemail picked up, as usual. He was probably in his office fucking some girl. “No problem. Better if we’re all on the same page anyway.” Kane showed up quickly but had no idea where Stefan was. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he had any real part in anything that involved Shank anyway. Taking a seat next to the cop, Kane looked across my desk at me and gave me a knowing smile. We’d been through enough of these meetings that he sensed my distaste for them and Shank. “Stefan is out at the moment, John, so let’s get started. Can we still count on your help with the police?” I asked, figuring it was best to take the bull by the horns. If he wanted more money or some other perk, we might as well get it all out on the table now. “That reporter bitch could have made things difficult for me, Cassian. Thank God it disappeared so quickly.” I smiled at my half-brother, agreeing for once with Shank. “That was Kane’s handiwork, thankfully.” Shank turned his head and looked at Kane. Chuckling, he said, “Well, thank Kane then. You work fast, son.” “I know my job.” “So how are things looking on your end, John? Can we still count on you?” Shank twisted his hideous face into an expression that made it seem like he was thinking for a moment about what I asked. I had a feeling he might want an increase in the twenty thousand we gave him every month, but he’d stick to our agreement. “I think I can see my way to making sure my fellow cops don’t have this place on their radar, but you need to make sure things like that article don’t happen. I think it’s going to be slightly more to make sure things stay cool, though.” I shot Kane a glance and then turned my attention back to Shank. “How much?” “Another five grand will do it, I think.”

Five thousand more wasn’t exactly good news, but we needed Shank’s protection, and until we found some other means of keeping the police off our backs, whatever he wanted would be what he got. “Fine. Five thousand it is.” Shank got up to leave and clapped Kane on the shoulder. “Good to see you two again, and Cassian, thank you for giving my little girl a job. She tells me she loves it already.” “She does?” I shot a look at Kane to see if he’d met Shank’s daughter yet and he shook his head. I hadn’t met her, so how could she be working for us already? “Oh yeah. She tells me Stefan is taken good care of her.” The idea of Stefan’s brand of taking care of someone sent a chill down my spine. Fucking around with Shank’s daughter was the last thing I needed him to do. Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded and prayed that my brother wasn’t doing anything that would cost us more money or worse, our lives. “Good to hear it. Until next month, John.” “Until next month.” I waited until he left the building and turned to Kane. “I didn’t hire his daughter. Did you check her out?” Kane shook his head. “No. I would have noticed someone with the last name Sheridan.” “Fucking Stefan! We need to find him now.” Kane took out his cell phone and called him, but like his office phone, there was no answer on his cell either. Only God knew where he was or what he was up to. “I don’t know, Cash. If he’s fucking around with Shank’s daughter, we’re going to have bigger problems than some minor league reporter.” “Have you seen anyone new behind the bar?” “No, but then again, I haven’t been paying attention. Have you?” Rubbing my temples to ease the headache already making my eyes hurt, I admitted, “No. I’ve been a bit preoccupied.” Kane smiled at my allusion to Olivia. “Making any progress? Has she at least agreed to come back to work?” “Yeah, she’ll be back on Monday.” “Just as your assistant?” Nodding, I tried to make it seem like that was good enough. “Yeah. I think it’ll be fine.” He said nothing, but I saw in his eyes that he knew having her back in my life as my assistant would never be enough for me. With all that I had to handle with Stefan and Shank and everything in the club, I never needed what Olivia offered more. I just had to hope someday soon she’d take me back.

* I ENTERED OLIVIA’S OFFICE AND found her busy at work on her laptop like she’d been every day since she returned to her position as my assistant a week before. Each day I watched her arrive at eleven and thought about finally talking about what happened between us—not the Ciara Danson bullshit but how I’d stupidly jumped to the wrong conclusion and shut her out like only I could. But I hadn’t said a thing about it, instead letting each day pass with not a word between us other than work talk. She looked up from her computer and gave me a forced smile that never reached her eyes. “Do you need something, Cassian?” Her tone told me she could do icy as well as I could. Fuck, being shut out stung. My walls shot up around me, like they always did when I sensed I could be hurt. I should have fought to say something to

her, but I just shook my head and walked away back into my office. I couldn’t go on like this much longer. I spent every waking minute thinking about her. I missed the sound of her voice, the smell of her perfume, everything that made her so different from everyone else in my life. But whatever I did to get her back had to be right. It had to show her how much she meant to me since telling her wasn’t going to be enough after what I’d done. Just before nine, I heard Olivia close her office door. Unlike so many nights before, she didn’t peek her head in to say goodnight. I watched from my desk as she walked into the club and my chest ached from how empty I felt without her in my life. Stefan came in just as she faded from view. As always, he was the last person I wanted to see. Before he could sit down, I held my hand up to stop him. “I’m leaving, so whatever you want will have to wait.” He ignored my warning and sat down anyway. Leaning forward to rest his forearms on my desk, he said, “I know. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” A parade of ideas as to what he was sorry for marched through my mind. With Stefan, I never knew. “What are you talking about, Stefan?” Looking down at the floor, he answered quietly, “Rachel. I’m sorry, Cash.” A flash of rage tore through me. Now he wanted to apologize? “What’s this about, little brother? For five years you didn’t seem to need to apologize. Now you feel the need to?” Stefan looked up at me and grimaced. “I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know why it happened. I know it should have never happened.” “Why are you telling me this now? Because Rachel and I are getting divorced? You want her? Feel free.” He shook his head. “No. We were never anything permanent. By the time you two fell apart, we were done. I just saw how this Olivia thing affected you and wanted to say I was sorry for what I did.” I moved from behind my desk to stand in front of him. “Stefan, Rachel and I didn’t fall apart. You and she tore us apart.” Looking up at me with the same look he always gave our mother to get out of trouble, he nodded. “I know. There’s nothing I can do about it now, but I thought you should know I’m sorry.” He stood to his full height, still two inches shorter than my six foot two inches, and stuck out his hand. I stared down at it in amazement, unsure what he expected me to do. “So we’re going to shake on it and then what? We’re all good?” “Jesus, Cash. How long are you going to let this eat you up? I fucked up. I know. You’ll never trust me again. I get it. But Christ, you’re moving on with Olivia. You can’t move on with me?” Ignoring how wrong he was about Olivia, I snapped at him, “You sleep with my wife and I’m supposed to move on. Is that right? Let me guess. You have some bullshit excuse like our father never loved you like he loved me. Was that it?” “Says the son who the sun rose and fucking set on. You get to be Cassian March IV, the heir to our father’s name, and I get to be Stefan, the spare.” “So this is your apology for sleeping with my wife and ruining my marriage? You felt unloved by our father, so you thought fucking my wife would make up for that?” I barked at him, not believing what I was hearing. “Whatever. You wouldn’t understand. You’re the son who always got everything.” I cocked back my arm to finally pummel the fuck out of his face, to finally live out that dream I’d had night after night for months after finding out what he’d done to betray me. I’d played out in my mind over and over what I wanted to do to make him suffer like he’d made me suffer. Now, though, other than

wanting to lay him out like I used to when we were teenagers, I couldn’t bring myself to keep my anger at him alive anymore. I didn’t hit him. Even though I hated his bullshit “Daddy never loved me enough” excuse, I stopped myself. Instead, I gave him the forgiveness I hoped Olivia would give me. Lowering my hand, I said, “Maybe it is time to move on, Stefan. You’re my brother, my blood. I can’t go on hating you.” “See? I knew you couldn’t stay angry at me forever,” he said with that stupid smile on his face. “Don’t worry. I won’t ever do it again.” Leveling my gaze on him, I let my anger out one last time. “I swear to God if you ever try anything with Olivia, I’ll kill you, Stefan.” The smile slowly slid from his face, and he raised his hands in front of him as he backed up toward the door. “I get it. I won’t fuck up again.” I walked around to sit down behind my desk, exhausted by Stefan’s need for confession and Olivia’s unwillingness to forgive me. Closing my laptop, I thought about what I could do to get her back. Day after day, the pain of missing her had grown until my chest felt empty and hollow. “Cash, you okay?” Looking up, I nodded at Stefan and forced a smile. “Yeah. I’m fine.” “If this is what love makes a man look like, I don’t ever want it. You look shit, big brother.” “Thanks.” “She still won’t forgive you? You know, you have this coming. You do that shut everyone out thing that you don’t realize how much it bothers people.” “Don’t you have a club to run or some bartender to molest?” “I was just trying to give some brotherly advice. Thought I could help.” This was the second time in a week my brothers thought their advice was warranted. “You too? First Kane and then you with the advice on my personal life.” Stefan twisted up his expression. “Don’t listen to Kane, whatever you do. What would he know about love?” I thought about everything I knew about my half-brother’s life before we’d begun working together at the club. “I’d say a whole lot more than you. The man did time for a woman he loved. I don’t think you can make the same claim.” My younger brother snorted his disgust at Kane’s chivalry. “Thank God! Like I’d ever go to prison for any reason, especially love. And if that’s what love does to a man, fuck that. Look at you and him. He’s done time and you’re more miserable than I’d ever seen you. You two should do what I do—avoid love like the plague. It’s does nothing but ruin a man.” At that moment I remembered Shank’s daughter and the real possibility that Stefan was already fucking her and endangering our very livelihoods. “Speaking of that, did you hire a new bartender without telling me or Kane?” “Yeah, a couple.” Slamming my hands on my desk, I exploded with anger. “Jesus Christ, Stefan! We have policies for a reason. You didn’t think you should tell the other two owners of this club that you hired new people?” Confused, he shrugged. “What’s the big deal? One used to work for us. You remember Shelley. She came in and asked for her job back, so I said yes. She was one of my best bartenders. The other one said she’d been told the job was hers. I figured you’d already met with her in one of those fucking meetings I hated. Lola’s doing fine.” “Lola Sheridan?” “Who’s that?”

“The person you hired.” Stefan shook his head. “No. Lola’s last name is Markess.” “Does she look like her father?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity. “How the fuck would I know? I just met her. It’s not like we’re doing the meet the parents thing. I don’t do that dating shit, remember? Fuck ’em and forget ’em, although I might keep her for a while.” Stefan’s grin told me he’d already slept with the woman who was likely Shank’s daughter. Nothing fucking good could come of this. “Please make sure to give Kane her information so he can check her out.” “Okay. I’m out. I have a bar to run.” As he turned to leave, I yelled after him, “And do me favor. Don’t fuck around with these two.” He waved my suggestion off and laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know the routine. All work, no play. Got it.” He left me sitting there with more worries than I’d had when he came in. And I still had no idea how to win Olivia back. All I knew was I had to. I couldn’t go on like this. I waited a few minutes before I headed out, determined to convince her not to give up on us. After stopping for flowers, I climbed the stairs to her apartment and had to admit I was in totally new territory. I’d never tried to win Rachel back after finding out what she’d done. The walls went up and that was it. We were done, and whatever feelings I’d had hardened over. But now I had to be the man I’d been before Rachel broke my heart. The problem was I didn’t even know if he existed anymore. I’d pushed him so far down inside me I couldn’t be sure he was still in there. I stopped in front of her door and stood with my hand up in front of me ready to knock for a moment as I told myself the same thing I’d said every day since offering Olivia her job back. Don’t lose her. Do whatever you have to, but don’t let her go. My heart pounded at the sound of her footsteps coming toward the door. I squeezed the stems of the roses in my palm and waited in anticipation. The door opened, and our eyes met for the briefest moment before she slammed the door closed again. “Olivia, please open the door. I just want to talk.” Silence. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to the door. “Olivia, please…” She said nothing, and my heart sank as I heard the sound of her footsteps walking away. EVERY NIGHT I KNOCKED ON her door, and every night she refused to speak to me. Some nights she opened the door and stared at me with those beautiful brown eyes so full of pain. Other nights she didn’t even open the door, ignoring me as I stood on her doorstep pleading my cause. The florist near the club either thought I was the world’s biggest player or the world’s saddest man in love. Each night he gave me the look that told me he was sure it was the latter. Then each day I’d see Olivia at work and it was as if nothing ever happened the night before. With each time she called me Cassian and each cold glance she shot my way, I grew more miserable without her. I’d had no idea how much stubbornness lived in her. Day by day, she seemed to grow stronger in her choice to never speak to me again other than at work, and every minute I spent with her at the club was more painful than the next. I loved her. I wanted her. I needed her. And nothing I did mattered if I couldn’t convince her of those things. Two weeks into my torture, I couldn’t take it anymore. This double life of tepid professionalism by day and ignoring me by night had to end. Late Friday afternoon, I walked into her office to let her know. She sat behind her desk focused on her work on an upcoming club event I’d handed over to her when

we were still together. I stood watching her, remembering how happy she’d been then when I’d come to see her. Looking up at me, she said coldly, “Did you need something, Cassian?” God, I hated when she called me that. I knew it meant she was keeping me at arm’s length. “I wanted to let you know I plan to knock on your door every night until you let me in. I don’t care if it takes a week, a month, or a year, I’m going to be there every night at nine.” “What happened to you working until midnight each night?” “This is more important. So just know we have a standing date every night at nine.” “And if I never let you in again?” I wanted to think she was joking, but the stern look in her eyes told me she was serious. It didn’t matter. She might believe she’d never let me in again now, but I wasn’t going to give up. “Then every night I’ll knock on your door and hope that’s the night you finally remember what we were.” Olivia said nothing in response, but it didn’t matter. Someday she would.

Epilogue

Cassian THE GALA AT THE FLORIDA Museum of Photographic Arts kicked into high gear, but even as I schmoozed and glad-handed with the organizers to thank them for being club members for years and local politicos to ensure the safety of the club, my attention never really left my watch. No matter how much I needed to be at this event for Club X, I needed to be at Olivia’s apartment by nine for a far more important reason. In a room full of gorgeous women in expensive designer gowns, there wasn’t one that even made me look twice. None of them were the woman I wanted, even if she hadn’t opened her door for me in three days. I took the last drink of my champagne and placed my glass on a nearby table. Nearly eight-thirty, if I didn’t leave soon I’d be late. I made my way over to say my goodbyes, but a woman in a red gown stepped in front of me, blocking my way. “Cassian March?” Quickly scanning her face, I didn’t recognize this woman who seemed to know me. Giving her a brief smile, I nodded and made a move to escape, but she wasn’t having that. “I hoped I’d get to see you here tonight.” I stopped and studied her face. Beautiful, she had striking blue-green eyes and brown hair, but she was no one I knew. Why was she speaking to me like we’d met before? “Do we know each other?” Offering her hand, she smiled. “Josie Tellow. We have a shared acquaintance. Olivia.” “Oh. Are you a friend of Olivia’s?” Josie took a sip of champagne and nodded. “I am. You know at first I thought she should kick you to the curb. I didn’t tell her this, but I knew what kind of player you’ve been for years. I’ve seen you at these events with a different woman on your arm each time. I figured you would only break her heart. Then you did, and I wanted to kick myself for not telling her to drop you. But then she told me what you do every night, even after weeks of her not giving you even the slightest bit of hope, you’re still there every night.” “Then you know I have to leave now. It was nice meeting you, Ms. Tellow.” I moved to leave, but she grabbed my arm to stop me. “Don’t give up on her. I know you’re probably just about to, but don’t. Don’t be like most men.” “I’m not most men.” “Then show her that. Be that man she thought you were when she told me she could find another job, but she couldn’t find another Cash.” The way she said that gave me hope, so I made my goodbyes and raced over to Olivia’s apartment, arriving ten minutes late after practically having to beg the florist around the corner to stay open long enough to let me get flowers. Completely out of the roses I brought with me every night, all he could offer me was a bouquet of wildflowers. Like every other night for weeks, I knocked on her door and waited, prepared to be ignored but hoping tonight would be different. Not a sound came from inside her apartment, so I knocked again and waited as the knowledge that tonight would be like most other nights with me standing there alone not getting the chance to say what was in my heart. Discouraged, I leaned my body against the door and closed my eyes. “Olivia, please open the door. I

can do this for the rest of my life, but I’d rather us do something together.” She said nothing. I wasn’t even sure she was there. Pressing my ear to the door, I strained to hear anything that would tell me Olivia heard what I’d said. Nothing. Not a sound. “Olivia, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know that doesn’t make up for what I did, but give me another chance.” Listening for any sound on the other side of the door, I heard nothing. Disappointed, I hung my head and knelt down to place the flowers on her doorstep, like I had every night before. As I stood to leave, I saw the door open. Olivia stood there in her black yoga pants, a pink T-shirt, and for the first time in so long, she had a smile on her face. “Taking to wearing a tux for these nightly visits, Cash?” I straightened my jacket and held the flowers up for her. “I thought maybe a suit wasn’t enough. Is the tux working?” She took the bouquet and held them to her nose. “These are pretty. Thank you. As for the tux, I’m not sure what it’s supposed to do, but you do look nice. I’m afraid I’m a little underdressed, though, for whatever you had in mind.” I smiled at her teasing and looked into her eyes. “You look beautiful, especially now that you’re smiling at me. I missed that.” “Do you know why I opened the door, Cash?” I shook my head. “No. I have no idea. I’m just happy you did.” “It’s because of what you said. Tonight, for the first time, you said you were sorry.” “I’ve been sorry since the moment I realized what I did. I am sorry, Olivia.” “That’s what I’ve been waiting all these weeks to hear. It’s all I ever wanted you to say.” “I guess I’ve been a bigger fool than I thought. All this time, I thought you knew I was sorry. I figured you wanted me to say something big or impressive and I just hadn’t thought of the right words yet.” “So why did you say I’m sorry tonight?” “I met your friend Josie at the museum gala, and something she said about me not giving up made me think there was a chance for us. I don’t know why I said I was sorry tonight and not before this. I just said what was in my heart.” The smile she gave me made me happier than I’d been in weeks. Her hand slid down the door and then she stepped back. “Why don’t you come in instead of standing out in my hallway so all my neighbors can know my business?” The sound of a door shutting behind me down the hallway made me chuckle. “I think it’s too late for that. I’m pretty sure all your neighbors know more than they ever wanted to about us.” She flashed another sweet smile. “Then I better let you in before they insist on knowing how this all turns out. I think it’s time we talked.” I followed her into her living room and sat down next to her. “I really am sorry, Olivia. I’ve been going crazy without you. I can’t think about anything but you, and work has been nearly impossible knowing you’re right there in the office next door but you won’t even talk to me, except for ice cold answers when I ask a question.” “Why did you do it? I guess I can understand that you might think I could do something to you out of anger. I would never do that, but I can see why you might think that. But why did you shut me out like that? That hurt more than anything else.” “As soon as the thought of you betraying me settled into my mind, I shut down. It felt the same as when I found out Rachel cheated on me with Stefan, and I didn’t want to feel that pain again, so the walls went up.”

Olivia took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “I’m not like her, Cash. I wouldn’t do that to you. I can’t be with someone who I’d always be worried would shut me out, though. That hurt too much.” Pulling her close, I felt her meld to me and for the first time in weeks, I was truly happy. I didn’t want to risk losing her or feeling this way again. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be without you. I know that now. I love you, Olivia.” I hadn’t said I love you to a woman since Rachel, but those three words had never felt more right coming out of my mouth. She looked up at me and smiled one of those Olivia smiles that never failed to touch my heart. “I love you too, Cash. But no more lies, okay? That includes the truth about the club.” “The truth?” I knew what she meant. I just didn’t want the reality of my life to ruin everything. “The truth, as in Club X isn’t what you said it was when you hired me. Legal and all?” I searched her eyes for any sign that what my life was could be something she’d accept. “Does it bother you what I do?” Olivia shook her head and took my hand in hers. “No. I found the greatest guy in the world because of what Club X is.” “I wish I wasn’t the kind of man I have to be at the club. You deserve better.” She knitted her eyebrows and cradled my face. “I must still be giving off that good girl vibe. Let me tell you something, Cassian March. You’re not doing anything immoral or wrong there. People come to Club X to live out their fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with that. I got to become someone I wanted to be because of your club. I’ve always wished I could be that sexy woman a man like you would want, and that happened at Club X.” “You’ve always been sexy, Olivia. That men like me didn’t see that was our fault, not yours.” “Cash, you should be proud of who you are and what you and your brothers have accomplished. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. I’m proud to say I’m with you.” Pressing my forehead to hers, I closed my eyes. “I love that you can accept everything I am. I never thought someone good like you would. I love you, Olivia.” I kissed her and as I held her in my arms, I felt like no matter what the world threw at me, I could handle it as long as she was mine.

Olivia Three Months Later SHAKING CASH’S SHOULDER, I WHISPERED in his ear, “If you don’t get up, you’re going to be late to the club again.” He pulled me close and mumbled, “I don’t care. Kane and Stefan can handle things without me for one day. I want to stay right here with you.” “Didn’t you say you had at least one interview today?” I gently reminded him. Opening his eyes, he looked up at the ceiling as he ran through his schedule in his mind and sighed deeply. “I really want to stay in bed with you.” I nuzzled his jawline, loving the feel of the stubble as it scraped across my lips. “I can’t. Remember? I’m meeting with the event planner today at noon. You could stay and join us.” Rolling me over onto my back, he nudged my thighs open and settled in between my legs. Already hard, his cock pushed against my clit, sending strings of arousal through my body. With a sparkle in his blue eyes, he moaned, “This is what I want to do.” “You know what I mean, Cash. You could come to the meeting with me. I’d love your input, you

know.” He kissed me softly on the lips in that way that never failed to make me melt inside. “You know I’d do anything to make you happy, Olivia, but I doubt any of my suggestions would be helpful. I don’t know a centerpiece from a…” Quickly, I finished his sentence. “Centerfold?” “Not exactly what I was thinking, but you get my point. I have no idea what an engagement party is supposed to be like.” Kissing my left hand, he added, “I figure that’s your thing since I didn’t need any input on the ring.” I ran my palms over his back, loving the feel of his taut muscles under my fingers. Holding my hand out to stare at the stunning two caret diamond engagement ring on my finger, I had to admit he’d done well with it. “You’re lucky you’re cute and that I love this ring. Okay, I get it. Not exactly what a man wants to spend a few hours talking about. Go to your interviews. Who’s on the schedule today?” He buried his face in the space between my neck and shoulder and planted kisses across my skin. “Some dancers for Kane’s area.” “Should I be worried? Those dancers are pretty hot.” Lifting his head, he smiled down at me. “Not in the least. I have no interest in dancers, or for that matter, any woman but the one about to make love to. But I can go with you to your meeting, if you want.” I cradled his face, looking deep into those gorgeous blue eyes, and shook my head. “No, go to work. Somebody’s got to make sure Stefan doesn’t sexually harass the girls in the interview. I’ll be fine on my own.” Cash kissed me again. “Good point. But you don’t have to ever worry about me with another woman, Olivia. I’m happy with the one who shares my bed and in a few months will share my life.” “Are you scared?” “About what?” he asked, knitting his brows. “Getting married. It’s a big step.” A smile spread across his lips. “No. Some men are meant to be married.” I couldn’t help but giggle at his response. “Says the man who up until recently was one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. I thought players hated the idea of marriage.” “I never wanted that. All I ever wanted was someone to come home to after spending my days at the club.” “Pretty boring stuff for most men, Cash.” “I’ll leave the other stuff for guys like Stefan, although he seems to be like a lost puppy these days.” “What’s wrong with him?” “I think he likes one of the bartenders, but she wants nothing to do with him.” “Oh, the poor thing!” Cash’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Poor thing? Every time he sleeps with one of our employees, we end up paying more money. I’m happy she doesn’t want to give him the time of day. I’d like to think it’s because of my stern explanation of the non-fraternization clause in the contract, but that’s never worked before.” “Maybe she has a boyfriend already.” “Again, that’s never stopped Stefan. I think Kane has something to do with it. I’ve noticed he seems to be suspiciously around a lot when she’s around.” I was surprised to hear anything about Kane and a woman. “Really? He never seems interested in anyone at the club.” “I don’t think he’s interested in her. Something tells me he’s blocking Stefan for some reason.”

I gently jabbed him in the side. “You brothers are so bad.” “What’s bad is Stefan constantly costing us money. If Kane is blocking him, I’ll have to take him out for a nice steak to say thanks.” “You are so bad, Cassian March!” “Mmmm…enough about my brothers. I’m more interested in you, Olivia Lucas soon-to-be March.” Cash slowly slid his hand down my right side to cup my ass as he leaned in to kiss me. Raking my fingernails over the soft skin of his back, I moaned, “You’re going to make it impossible for me to leave this bed.” “Good,” he groaned in my ear as he made quick work of my skirt and panties. “If I could, I’d have us stay here forever. No club, no brothers, nothing but you and me naked in bed for the rest of time.” As he eased into me, I looked up and smiled. “I like the way you think.” “I like this. No, I love this.” He kissed me sweetly. “I love you, Olivia.” I whispered I loved him too as we made love, and later as I watched him dress in his usual suit and tie look that never failed to make me want him, I thought about the chance I’d taken reserving that fantasy room that first night. All my life I’d played it safe, and all I’d gotten in return was a safe, boring life. For the first time ever, I’d taken a risk, and even though things hadn’t gone exactly the way I’d thought they would, I’d ended up right where I wanted to be. Like he did every day since we got back together, Cash went to work late that morning after making love to me. As for me, I had our engagement party to plan.

SURRENDER CLUB X #2

Stefan March lives for a good time. Born into wealth, he sees everything in terms of what he can have, especially women. So far, life has denied him nothing and no one. When he meets his newest bartender, he instantly knows who his next conquest will be, but Shay’s not like the usual women he collects. To get her, he’ll have to be more than just the player he’s always been. Shay Callahan is beautiful, determined, and intelligent. She’s got plans for her life, and they don’t include getting sidetracked by a man, and certainly not her wealthy player boss. Her job at Club X is for one thing —money to fund her education—but if she can make Stefan March see he’s not God’s gift to women, all the better. She never expects to find out there’s more to him than meets the eye. As different as day and night, can these two see past who they think they are to find love?

Chapter One

Shay ELLIOT LAY STILL HALF ASLEEP, spread-eagled and taking up three-quarters of the bed as I sat down on the edge of the mattress to slip on my stockings. I turned to look at his naked body barely covered by the sheet and nudged him back over to his side, but he grumbled some words to let me know he didn’t like me waking him so early. The man didn’t seem to recognize any time before noon. “I have a job interview today, El. It might be nice if you woke up to have some breakfast with me before I go. Maybe a little pep talk?” He waved his hand in the air and gave me the thumbs up sign, mumbling, “You’ll be great, Shay. Don’t worry.” Standing up, I straightened my black pencil skirt and shook my head. “Let’s hope my potential new bosses think the way you do.” Elliot rolled over and slid his hand up my leg and under my skirt to where the top of my stockings sat on my thigh. Looking up at me with his sexy hazel eyes, he chuckled. “Baby, if these men don’t want to hire you to bartend, then they’re fucking crazy. You’re hotter than any other bartender I’ve ever seen. Just be yourself and you and I will be celebrating tonight.” “And you’ve seen how many bartenders? You aren’t even legal to drink, El.” He looked up at me and winked. “I don’t have to know any bartenders to know you’re sexier than fuck. Now get that gorgeous ass back in bed so I can show you how sexy I think you are.” I nudged his hand down my leg, but he fought me, pushing against my hand to feel the cotton of my panties. “El, I have to go. I’ll see you when I get back.” “I like the idea of you lifting that skirt and riding some morning wood a whole lot better. You have time. You said you wanted me to have breakfast.” Inching his fingers up underneath my panties, he slid a fingertip over my clit, sending a jolt of pleasure straight through me. “I want this for breakfast.” “I can’t,” I protested, wishing I could. We’d spent most of the night making love, but that’s what a new relationship was all about. I couldn’t or didn’t want to see his negatives, such as the fact that he didn’t seem to be much of a worker if the number of hours he spent in bed with me and by himself was any indication. Or that he had little money. I didn’t care about that yet. What I enjoyed about Elliot was that he was good in bed and like most guys of twenty, he could fuck for hours. Being twenty-four, I appreciated his youthful enthusiasm. “Baby, you can do whatever you want. They won’t care if you’re late for this interview. It’s a bar.” Shaking my head, I tried to push him away again, but he was insistent. This was what I got for hanging out with a twenty-year-old guy. “Elliot, stop. I need this job.” “So serious all the time.” He pulled the covers down to show me his rock hard cock ready to go, as he always was. “Thank God one of us keeps us off the straight and narrow. Now come here.” I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I stared at his body ready to go. His dark brown hair, too long for my usual taste, hung in his eyes, but even lying there as a disheveled mess he still made me wet just looking at him. Not an ounce of fat marred his perfect body, although in two months I’d never seen him do even a single push up. Maybe he didn’t just lie around the apartment when I worked, after all? This thing between us was basic biology. I knew this. He was a hot, young guy in his prime, and I

liked that. Nothing more. Not that it had to be anything more. We’d gotten into this knowing neither one of us wanted a serious relationship. I knew I’d be leaving in a few months and likely never see him again, and he was a typical twenty-year-old nearly grown up boy whose only mastery of anything was shirking responsibility. We were an odd couple everywhere but in bed. My goals included earning my Ph.D., and Elliot had not one goal. None. He had no job, and as far as I could tell in the whole time we’d been together, he had no plans to get one. Where he got money was a mystery to me, but the truth was if I cared about him—truly cared—I’d want to know. I’d never asked, and he’d never offered the information. I only knew he had money but no job. And I was the exact opposite. I always had a job, even with attending school full time, and never had enough money. “Shay, you worry about things for nothing. If you don’t get this job, you’ll get another. No big deal. Now come here so I can bury myself balls deep inside you.” “This means a lot to me, El. I have to save up for my trip. I can make a lot of money at Club X.” Elliot laced his hands behind his head. “Club X isn’t really your style, though. What’s wrong with your current job?” “I don’t make enough money, and what do you mean it’s not really my style? As long as they pay in good old American dollars, it’s my style.” “I’ve heard things. It’s not like a usual bar.” I lowered my head and stared down at him. “And you’d know what about a usual bar?” “I heard it’s more of a sex club.” In truth, I’d heard that once or twice about Club X too, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t applying for a job that would have anything to do with sex. All I’d have to do was serve alcohol. “Well, I have enough sex with you, so they’ll just have to take me as a bartender.” “That better be all they want.” Elliot’s expression told me what all this stalling was about. He was jealous. “I see what you’re up to. You’re worried.” He shrugged and made a face that looked like he’d just sucked on a lemon. “No, I’m not.” Leaning across the bed, I pushed my face in front of his. “Yes, you are. You’re jealous. I thought we weren’t about that. This was just supposed to be a good time, remember? Nothing more.” I saw in his eyes this wasn’t just a good time for him. “Whatever. Do what you want. Just know that I don’t share well with others, Shay.” Oh the petulance of youth! I knew I better soothe his hurt feelings now or he’d sulk all day. “Elliot, I have no plans to share myself with anyone but you, okay? But I can’t do the committed thing. You know that. You don’t want that anyway. Twenty-year-old guys like to have a good time, so let’s have a good time.” He pulled me down on top of his body, pushed my skirt up around my waist, and thrust his hips off the bed, his sour mood disappearing by the second. Nuzzling my neck, he murmured, “That’s all I wanted, baby. Consider it a good luck fuck so you get the job.” I rolled my eyes and tried to wriggle out of his hold. “I can’t be late, El. We can pick this up when I get back, okay?” He ignored my words and pulled my panties off to the side to give his cock clear passage. One quick thrust and he was fully nested inside me, making my legs go weak. Giving in, I sat up and straddled him for some of that morning wood he was sporting. In truth, I had a little time before I had to leave, so why not begin with a breakfast of champions?

* I DIDN’T MAKE IT TWO steps into the coffee shop before my best friend Carrie looked at me and said, “Shay, you look like you just rolled off that hot man of yours.” Quickly, I looked down my body to check that my clothes weren’t wrinkled and screaming “I just had sex!” There was no sign of any untidiness, so I took a seat across from her at our usual corner table and shook my head. “Don’t be jealous.” Carrie took a sip of her latte and smiled, pushing her dark blond hair off her forehead. “No jealousy here, girl. That boy isn’t even legal. You getting a coffee?” “No. Not today. I already had a cup at home. I don’t need to be jumpy today. And he’s perfectly legal. Twenty is legal.” “That boy can’t even get into a club, Shay. What do you plan to do with him if you get this job at Club X? It’s not like you’ll be able to take him there.” Reaching over, I broke off a piece of her coffee cake and popped it into my mouth. “I don’t plan to take anyone there, Carrie. It’s a job. Do you take people to the boutique?” “You know what I mean. He’s four years younger than you.” “And the problem is?” Carrie and all her twenty-six years of cynicism stared at me with a look full of judgment in her jaded brown eyes. “He’s a child. You’re a grad student, and he doesn’t even have a job. What exactly are you doing with him?” “Other than fucking him every chance I can?” I said with a chuckle I couldn’t hold back. “Shay, there are millions of men in the world who aren’t boys and have great bodies and penises who are actually gainfully employed. Some might even be good in bed too.” This wasn’t the first time Carrie had given me this lecture. Elliot was an acquired taste, and as a woman who’d made a success of her own boutique all on her own, she found his boy-toy act appalling. For her, a man had to wear a suit, and an expensive one at that, and as she always said, “bring something to the table more than a big cock.” That Elliot only brought the right size cock wasn’t enough, in her mind. She wasn’t necessarily wrong. I knew that. I knew El was a passing fancy. He had no idea what I meant when I talked about my work, and he had nothing to say to my friends, even the ones who didn’t think he was one step above gigolo like Carrie thought. I freely admitted that he was merely great sex. Breaking off another piece of her coffee cake, I leaned forward and nodded. “Gainfully employed penises?” She shot me a look of disgust. “I know. I know. I don’t plan on this being a forever thing. Elliot is just something for now. I’ll be leaving in a few months anyway, so we’ll be over then, if it doesn’t happen before.” “He must be incredible in bed, Shay. You know I wouldn’t give you a hard time if I didn’t love you like a sister, but he’s way too young for you. You need a man who can handle his business. That boy has no business at all.” “I get it. I don’t want you thinking he’s a freeloader. I never pay for him.” Jesus, I sounded like one of those abused women making excuses for their man. “He has no job, honey. Where does he get money from?” I shrugged. “I don’t know.” “You’ve never asked?” Avoiding her intense stare, I looked away and mumbled, “No.” “Shay, look at me. I’ve known you long enough to know this isn’t healthy for you. Maybe Elliot’s a great guy. Maybe he isn’t. That isn’t the point. You bring a ton of great stuff to the table, and he shouldn’t

even be let in the house to find the table. There are levels, honey, and he’s not at yours.” I looked at her and knew she was right. The problem was I didn’t want to let Elliot go. Not yet anyway. “I know all of this, Carrie. And I know you love me, but give the poor guy a break. It must be terrible to be used just for sex.” Her face twisted into a look of disgust. “Uh-huh. A hardship like no man has ever endured before.” “Let’s change the subject. I need to go into this interview feeling good.” Carrie pulled her cake away from me and shook her head. “Speaking of that, why are you bothering with this job at Club X anyway? You’re leaving, so why get a new job? What’s wrong with the one you have already?” “I’m not making enough at The Brew House. I need to save up some money for when I go to Copenhagen. I just figured if I could get a job at Club X, I’d be able to have a stockpile when I leave.” “You think you’re up for that? I hear that place is wild. Members only and freaky.” I rolled my eyes at her use of freaky. Like I hadn’t seen my fair share of that in and out of the clubs I’d bartended in. “I’m not worried. I heard from one of the girls who used to work with me that there’s money to be made there, so why not? She worked there for a while and it was fine.” Carrie leaned forward and whispered, “You have to tell me if the rumors of the fantasy rooms are true. I’ve heard things.” “I don’t plan on doing anything that involves fantasy rooms, Carrie. I’m going there to bartend. That’s it. My friend from The Brew House got me an interview, so I’m going in with the attitude that they need a bartender and I’m their woman.” “I’ve heard things about the one brother, Stefan, who runs the nightclub part. Major league player, Shay.” “So?” What the hell did I care about some guy she thought was a player? “So nothing. I’ve just heard things.” Leaning back in my chair, I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care what this Stefan does when he isn’t running Club X. As long as he pays me the money I need, we’ll get along fine.” “I hear he’s loaded. He and his two brothers run the place and make millions every year off the wild shit our fellow citizens like to act out in those fantasy rooms.” I looked across the table and saw Carrie’s eyes light up. “Why do I have the feeling you think this guy would be more appropriate for me than Elliot?” “Because he’s got millions and owns a club. Your guy has some secret stash of cash and goofs around your place all day while you work your tail off.” “Money’s not everything, Carrie. I would think everything you went through with Rick would show you that.” Now it was time for her to roll her eyes. Every time I mentioned her most recent ex-husband I got the eye roll of disgust. “He Whose Name We Are Never To Say Again has nothing to do with this. And he isn’t even loaded. All I’m saying about your situation is that you might like it if a man with some success behind him began to take care of your business.” “So better to be with a guy who’s some kind of world-class player than an unemployed twenty-yearold who’s crazy about me?” Taking a sip of her coffee, her red stained lips spread into a wide smile. “Better to be with a man who’s your equal, Shay. And by the way, you have some nerve pooh-poohing players. Isn’t that what you’re doing with your boy-toy there? Playing?” I hated when she hit too close to home. Fidgeting in my chair, I looked away again. “It’s not the same thing, Carrie. We’re having a good time and nobody’s going to get hurt. Players like you’re talking about

leave a lot of emotional carnage in their wake. I’m not up for that, thank you.” Sliding over the rest of her cake, she rested her hand on top of mine. “I’m not saying you are, honey. I’m just saying you’re too good for what you’re doing now.” Looking down at my watch, I saw I had just enough time to get to Club X for my interview. “I have to head out. I’ll let you know how it goes.” “I want all the in depth details, so take lots of mental notes. And don’t worry. You got this.” I stood from the table and grabbed the last bite of coffee cake. “Yeah, it’s nothing. They want a bartender, and I want a job. I’ll make sure to check out this world-class player you’ve heard about, though. You know, just for shits and giggles.” Carrie nodded. “Exactly. Call me when you get out.” As I headed out the door toward my car, I tried to ignore the little voice in my head telling me Carrie was right about Elliot. I didn’t know how she’d gotten my conscience on her side, but I didn’t plan to listen to either of them yet. For the next few months, all I planned to do was make as much money as possible at Club X and have the time of my life with the hot young guy sharing my bed. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Chapter Two

Stefan CASH’S OFFICE DOOR OPENED AND a knockout brunette walked out right past me on her way toward the front door and out of my life if I didn’t stop her. Quickly following behind, I caught up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey, where you going? If you’re here for a job, you’ll probably be dealing with me.” She turned around and looked me up and down, her gaze settling on mine after she’d thoroughly checked me out. “Yeah? Well, if I get the job, we can talk then.” “I’m part owner here, so you’ll definitely get the job. What’s your name?” I asked, dying to find out who this woman with as much nerve as I had was. “Shaylene Callahan, but everyone calls me Shay.” “Well, Shay, whatever job you want, it’s yours.” Despite the fact that I’d just assured her she could have a job at the hottest club in town, her expression screamed she was unimpressed. What was with this girl? “Well, that’s good. Guess I’ll be starting when your boss calls me.” “Brother, and he’s not my boss. He and I own this place, along with our other brother. My name is Stefan March. I manage Club X. What job were you interviewing for?” I silently prayed to God it wasn’t one of Kane’s dancers because while I would fight him for her, dealing with that miserable fuck was difficult on any day but especially recently. I didn’t know what his problem was, but he’d been downright surly for the last week. Shay pushed her right hip out and smiled. “Bartender. I need some good money and I’ve heard this place is where to get it.” “Then you’ll be working under me,” I said as I licked my lips in anticipation of her being under me in more ways than just at work. Her green eyes flashed anger. “Under you? Well, bossman, this is the twenty-first century and this act of yours is straight out of chapter one in the how to sexually harass your employees handbook. Perhaps we should say I’ll be reporting to you during my working hours. And that’s it.” Her words were like a hard slap to my face. I couldn’t decide if she was the world’s biggest bitch or what could be my greatest conquest yet. Either way, she had sharp tongue in that beautiful mouth of hers. This kitten had claws. “You don’t sound like any bartender I’ve ever had…working for me.” “That’s probably because you don’t often get microbiology grad students serving liquor to your guests.” God, every word out of her mouth was a jab, but I liked a challenge. “Do you have any experience bartending, Shay? I mean, you’re nice and all, but I don’t have the time to train a newbie.” Her eyebrows shot up, and her eyes flashed her anger once again. “I think you’ll see by my application that I have more than enough experience for you. I’ve been bartending since my second year in undergraduate school. That’s the first four years of college, by the way.” Ah, now I understood. She was a smart girl. Normally, I stayed as far away as possible from that kind of female. They always had all the answers and never understood how to truly have fun. And worst of all, they always wanted a relationship. Of all the things I wanted in my next woman, intelligence was at the

bottom of my list. “College? Well, I guess that’s a nice way to spend four years. I preferred earning money, but to each his own. Microbiologist, huh? Probably will never make enough to afford a membership here anyway. Good thing you’re going to be an employee working for us. Employees get free memberships.” In truth, as a bartender, Shay wouldn’t be given a membership since she wouldn’t be an upper level employee. Only Cash, Kane, and I got them, along with his assistant, Olivia. But as part owner, I could give Shay a membership if I chose to. At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything I’d like to do less. “I’m not interested in a membership, Stefan. I’m interested in making money at a job. Hopefully, you and your brothers will recognize my talents and hire me. Either way, I have to go.” Before I could say another word, she turned on her heels and marched out the door. Fuck, she was a feisty one. I stood there watching the door close while my brain played tug of war with itself. On the one hand, Shay was smoking hot and I had no doubt having her would be a good time. Long brown hair, a mouth that would have made me hard if it wasn’t spewing such sharpness, and a body….fuck, her body was hot! My mind was already filled with thoughts of how incredible it would be to fuck her. What an ass she had! On the other hand, she was smart and possessed a level of bitchiness that even I had to admit I might not be able to overcome. Might. But if I’d ever met a challenge, it was her. “She wants a job as a bartender,” Cash announced behind me. Turning to face him, I pretended not to care. “Yeah?” I said with a shrug. “I don’t know if I need a new bartender, and we have a list a mile long of people who want to be one.” “Okay. I just wanted to mention it. She seemed nice in the interview. Kane liked her well enough, which says something, I guess. You would have gotten to talk to her if you bothered to join us.” Why I hadn’t gotten to the interview on time had to do more with nursing a hangover from the night before than with not caring about Cash’s precious hiring process. Not that I really cared to sit through hour after hour of interviews with him and Kane. “We have private investigators for a reason. I don’t need to see every goddamn person who walks through the door for a job, Cash.” He put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Take it easy. You don’t want her to work for us, she won’t work for us. Case closed.” Cash walked away as I stood still stinging from Shay’s barbed jabs. I didn’t know if I wanted to bother trying to get with her. With all the women in the world, why take the time to overcome whatever defensive bullshit she had going on? Kane came around me and stood with his arms folded across his chest. “She’s a wild one, isn’t she?” “Wild? I missed the interview, so I wouldn’t know.” “I heard how she took you down a few pegs before she left. Looks like there’s at least one woman you won’t be having.” I didn’t enjoy Kane’s smugness. Whether it was because he’d been pissed off about something recently or because he never had any women, he seemed to truly enjoy Shay’s attitude with me. “It doesn’t matter how fucking wild she is. She’s not going to be working here, so what do I care?” “Seems to have struck a nerve there, Stef. I guess she’s just out of your league.” He wasn’t even trying to hide his joy over this. “Has nothing to do with leagues, Kane. If it did, we might be talking about how someone like that wouldn’t even bother talking to the likes of you if you weren’t part owner of this club.” “I’m not the one who thinks he can have any woman on Earth. I’m a little choosier and I prefer to keep my relationships a little more private. You prefer to have them displayed on the bar each night and then in

lawyers’ offices during depositions. But you’re not going to get the chance with this one.” “That sounds like a challenge, Kane. I don’t think you’re up to it, though.” He chuckled and shook his head. “She’s not my type, Stefan. I don’t want her, and I won’t fight for her.” “Not fight for her. It just sounds like you don’t think I could get her.” His chuckle morphed into a full-blown laugh. “I know you can’t. That woman is too smart for you. She saw your game coming a mile away. Accept it. Shay isn’t a woman you can have. Move on and be happy with those cheap little playthings you prefer to spend your time with.” “You honestly don’t think I can get her to go out with me, do you?” “I honestly can’t believe you’d want her. She’s too much work for you, Stefan. You’d have to be more than the man whore you’ve always been. I just don’t think you’re up to it.” Was Kane serious? “You’re saying you think there’s a woman I can’t seduce? Am I hearing you right?” “I’m saying seducing her isn’t something you know how to do. It’s going to take a whole lot more than a few drinks, your charming smile, and whatever smooth lines you use to get with your usual type.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Kane, who I didn’t think I’d ever seen with a woman, was doubting my ability to charm someone. Kane, who most females backed away from in fear, was saying I wasn’t smart enough to get Shay Callahan, science nerd, into bed. He had to be kidding! “Kane, you’re coming dangerously close to insulting me. For a man who has so little success with women, you seem to not know how successful I’ve been.” “I’ve seen your conquests. Not impressed. It doesn’t take much to get cheap sluts to fuck you. They’re going to do it anyway, so if you’re the nearest guy around, you luck out.” “Fuck you, Kane!” I spat out, sick of this conversation. It wasn’t bad enough I was hung over, but now I’d had to deal with two people giving me shit. “You know what they say. It’s all about location, location, location. I’d bet if you didn’t have a constant stream of young ones wanting to work as bartenders here that you’d get far less ass.” The guy was taunting me. I knew it, but something in me snapped and made me want to force him to put up or shut up. Kane was much bigger than I was, though, and I wasn’t stupid. I may have wanted to knock him flat on his ass, but the reality was that I’d likely get one or two shots in before he kicked me around my bar. No, I couldn’t beat him physically. But there were other ways to bring him down to size. “Kane, I could stand here all day trading jabs with you, but I’ve got a better idea. Let’s make a bet. That’s if you’re up to it, of course.” He stepped back and stared me down. “You want to bet what with me? That you can get with that girl?” “Yeah. Take the bet or show you’re all talk.” “I’m not interested in chasing after that girl. She’s not my type. I don’t even pretend she is. I’m not interested in her or your bet.” He turned to walk away, but I caught him by the shoulder and stopped him. “Hear me out. I’m not talking about a bet to see if you can get her before I do. I’m saying I’ll bet you I can get her to fall for me.” “What’s in it for me, other than seeing you make an ass out of yourself?” he asked with the sinister grin he wore so often around me. “Name it. You set the terms.” He took a few moments to think about my offer and finally said, “Let me see if I got this straight. You’re bothered that I don’t think you have it in you to get this girl, so you want to make a bet that you can?”

I forced a nonchalant shrug. “If you don’t think you’re up to it…” “Is this part of that Stefan charm that gets all the women to fuck you? I don’t see it, but if you insist, I’ll take your bet.” “Good. Name your terms.” “You have to get this girl to fall for you, and I don’t mean just sleep with you. She has to be in love with you or you don’t win.” The reality that making a woman fall in love was much harder than making one fall into bed with you could be a real problem. Women like Shay didn’t do either easily, I guessed, but sex was a whole lot easier than love. “Fine.” “And you have only one semester to do this in. She made it clear in the interview that next semester she’s not going to be able to work since she’ll be studying abroad. That gives you maybe four months.” “Four months? What the fuck, Kane? How long does it take for you to get into a woman’s pants? Jesus, I bet I can do it in a tenth of that time.” “You do realize she’s not like the other women who work for you, right? She’s smart, successful, and from what I already heard from her when she stood right there and dressed you down, she doesn’t even like you.” “No matter. I’ll take the four months, but I don’t plan to need it. What else?” I bragged, secretly admitting to myself that it very well could take half that time just to get her to warm up to me. After that, though, it would be smooth sailing. “You have to show proof.” I’d always suspected Kane was a kinky one. What did he want? Video? “Proof like what? You planning to watch me sleep with her?” I joked. “Cash and Olivia are planning their engagement party for just around the time you’d have to get Shay to fall for you. You’re going to have to show up to the party with her, and you’re going to have to get her to say she loves you.” “As long as I don’t have to be in love with her, we have a deal.” “The man whore in love? I’m not ready for hell to freeze over just yet. No, all you need is her in love with you.” I chucked him on the shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this cruel, Kane. It seems heartless to have the girl fall in love with me when I won’t be in love with her.” Shaking his head, he smiled. “Not cruel at all. If I thought for a second that this one would even give you the time of day, I wouldn’t agree to this bet at all. I don’t think you have a chance, little brother. You’ve met your match this time.” “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So what do I get if I win?” Kane grinned. “A gorgeous woman you’d never deserve in love with you.” “Not good enough. I want something from you when I win. Put up or shut up.” “You can’t want money. What else do I have that you want?” he asked, genuinely confused about what I could be angling for. “Your Mustang.” A look of terror crossed his face and he shook his head quickly. “No.” “What’s wrong, big brother? Chicken shit?” “I’m not risking my car. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you touch that baby.” I’d wanted to get my hands on Kane’s 69 Mustang Boss 429 since the first time I laid eyes on it. Black, sexier than any other vehicle I’d ever seen, it was the one car I hadn’t been able to find for my

own. I’d get that car and Shay too. “Seems like you think I might win, Kane. All that talk and when push comes to shove, you’re nowhere to be found.” Leaning down, he pushed his face close to mine. “I’m not betting my car, Stefan. I don’t care if you fuck this girl or not. No deal.” “Then let me have it for a weekend. I win and you give me your car for a whole weekend.” He seemed to think about my concession and nodded. “And what do I get if you lose? I’m not risking the one thing I care about more than life itself if I don’t get something pretty fucking incredible in return.” “My humiliation won’t be enough?” “I don’t think you’ll be humiliated. You won’t really care for her, so your feelings won’t be involved. This has to be something worthwhile if my car is on the line, even if it is only for a weekend.” “How about my apartment? You seemed to like it when you came over that one time.” Kane raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “You’re going to give me your apartment on the bay?” “Sure.” I was pretty sure he’d never get to step foot into my place. “So let me get this straight. If you don’t get this woman to fall in love with you within four months, you’ll give me your apartment. For how long?” “For an entire year.” “And if you do get her to fall in love with you, you get my car for a weekend?” “Sounds good. Is it a deal?” I asked, holding my hand out to shake on it. Kane took my hand and shook it hard. “I’m going to enjoy that place of yours, and seeing you get shot down by a real woman will just be icing on the cake.” “Just get that Mustang ready for me. I plan to enjoy my weekend with it picking up women. If you had any skills, you’d use it to get chicks too.” Shaking his head, he mumbled something as he walked away, no doubt sure he would win our bet. I had no intention of losing this one. That car and my reputation meant too much to me. I headed into Cash’s office to find him staring at his laptop. “Hey, about that girl who came in to be a bartender. Shay was her name, I think. I changed my mind. She’ll do fine, so give her a call and see when she can start.” He didn’t try to mask his suspicions. “I thought you weren’t in need of another bartender. Or was it that we had enough applications? I can’t remember. Now you want me to call her and get her in here?” “Yeah. It’s no big deal. If you don’t want to, it’s fine. I just think the club can use someone like her behind the bar.” Cash shrugged. “Okay. I’ll give her a call. I’ll let you know when she can start.” “Great! Let me know.” Cash looked confused as I left, but he didn’t need to know anything more. This was between me and Kane. And may the best man win.

Chapter Three

Shay B Y THE TIME I MADE it home, my blood was still boiling. Who the fuck did Stefan March think he was? And what century did he live in? Slamming the door behind me, I stomped into my apartment, sure I’d barely escaped before that troglodyte moved to pat me on the ass, like I was some 1950s fucking secretary! “Hey! What’s with all the noise?” Elliot yelled from the kitchen. “I swear to God if I didn’t need the money…” I grumbled as I headed toward him standing in only a pair of boxer shorts in front of the stove. Elliot turned toward me and smiled. “How did the interview go? Did you ace it?” Leaning against the doorframe, I shrugged, still frustrated by my first meeting with my potential future boss. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out in a few days.” “I’m making breakfast. Want some?” he said with a smile as bacon sizzled in the frying pan, filling the room with its pungent odor. “Aren’t you afraid of getting burned by the grease?” He turned back toward the stove and moved the bacon around with the spatula. “Nah. Anyway, it doesn’t hurt that much.” “Have you ever been splashed with hot grease? It hurts like hell.” “I have. Did a stint as a cook for a while before I met you. Grease is nothing compared to oil. Now that’s painful.” “I don’t see the difference. A cook? So you had a job then? When was that?” I knew I sounded like his mother right there. I didn’t want to be that way. It was just that Carrie’s words from earlier about Elliot and his lack of gainful employment still rang in my ears. He turned around and shot me a glance that told me my questions surprised him. “Is something wrong, Shay?” I shook my head and walked up behind him to wrap my arms around his naked waist. Pressing my cheek to his back, I said, “No. There’s nothing wrong. Just idle curiosity.” Elliot turned in my hold and kissed the top of my head. “Ask me anything. I’m an open book. You know that, baby.” Looking up into his hazel eyes, I saw the same gentle gaze as always. Nothing bothered him, not even my residual bitchiness from meeting Stefan March. “It’s okay. I know we aren’t all about answers.” He moved the pan off the burner and turned the heat off. I stepped away to let him lift the bacon out of the grease, but he pulled me back against him, ignoring his breakfast. “Shay, you’re the one who doesn’t want that. I’ve been about all you since the moment I saw you on the beach that day. This thing between us is like it is because you want it this way. I’d be more than happy to answer anything you want to ask.” “No, it’s okay. I like you being a mystery, El.” The truth was I didn’t want to know all about him. If I did, I might want to send him packing right then and there. Or worse, I might want to stay with him forever, and that couldn’t happen. I had plans for my future, and unfortunately, they didn’t include him or any man, for that matter. “Ah, mystery. That’s what we’re calling what I am?”

He bent down and kissed me gently, like he adored me. Tapping him on the nose, I smiled and backed away. “I have to head down to talk to Dr. Taduch. I’ll be back later, though, so we can grab a bite to eat before I head off to work.” “Sounds great. As for me, I’m going to devour this pound of bacon.” I left him standing there with his greasy breakfast, and although I knew it was wrong, a tiny part of me couldn’t help but judge him. While I spent my days buzzing around town trying to make money, he spent his time overdosing on the flesh of farm animals. My phone rang as I slid behind the wheel of my barely running 2005 Taurus. Swiping the screen, I expected to hear Carrie’s voice but heard a man’s instead. “Hello, Shay Callahan?” “Yes?” The man’s voice flowed over me like silk and sounded vaguely familiar. “It’s Cassian March. I spoke to my brother and he believes you’d be a valuable addition to the club.” Unable to contain my happiness at the news that I’d gotten the bartender job at Club X, I squealed, “That’s great! When do you want me to start?” “As soon as you fill out the required paperwork, you can start whenever Stefan needs you. Feel free to stop in anytime today. If I’m not around, you can speak to my assistant, Olivia, and she can help you.” “Thanks so much, Cassian. I appreciate this.” “I think you’ll like working with us, Shay. We look forward to seeing you.” I thanked him again and ended the call, thrilled at the chance to begin making some real money for Copenhagen. As I drove toward school, I couldn’t help but wish Stefan March was as professional as Cassian March. How interesting that one brother could possess such wonderful manners while the other one acted like some frat boy on a quest to fuck as many co-eds as possible. I had no idea how old Stefan was, but even Elliot and his twenty years acted more maturely. Dr. Taduch had been called away to a department meeting, but he’d left the information I needed to finalize my trip to Copenhagen. Since I had some extra time on my hands, I stopped by Carrie’s boutique to share my good news. I found her standing behind the counter, her eyebrows knitted as she hunched over a spreadsheet. She looked like she desperately needed a break. “Hey you! Guess who’s the newest bartender at Club X!” She lifted her head to look at me and smiled broadly. “I knew you’d get it!” “What’s with the sour puss face you were wearing when I walked in?” She pushed aside the stack of papers and shook her head. “Same old accounting and inventory shit. I think one of my girls is stealing from me. God, I wish you were still working for me, Shay. Those were the good old days.” “Good old days indeed. When I wasn’t in class or in lab, I was here or behind the bar at Danton’s. I don’t think I got more than four hours of sleep that entire year.” “Well, it was good for me. Now all I have are wannabes and what I think might be a thief. Tell me something to make my day better. Anything to get my mind off my troubles. Tell me all about the new job.” “There’s not much to tell, to be honest. The one owner called me a little while ago to let me know the job is mine. That’s the owner I like. The other one isn’t too bad either. He doesn’t say much, but he’s okay. The one I have to work with, Stefan March, is a complete and utter jackass, though. Just my luck.” “Why? What happened?” Carrie asked as she began to fold a pile of pashminas. “The man is perfectly Cro-Magnon. I swear he borderline sexually harassed me within the first five minutes of meeting me.” Carrie rolled her eyes. “So the player sexually harassed you? Big surprise. Is he hot?”

“Your way of excusing the bad habits of bad men really isn’t one of your best qualities, you know that?” “I have no problem with bad men, Shay. They’re fun. And players are the best. You know how I love the game.” “Well, I don’t. Players can go play with other women. I don’t have time for games.” “So is he good looking?” I couldn’t deny Stefan March was hot. Tall, with light brown hair and brown eyes, he had a body that would make most women bow down and worship him. And between the tats and tongue piercing, he definitely had a bad boy vibe to him. In fact, the only real problem with him became clear when he opened his mouth to speak, and then the man became a total zero. “He’s not as great as I thought he’d be. Lots of muscles and tats, but he’s a Grade A jackass. I didn’t get a player vibe. Just an asshole vibe.” “So you’re not seeing why women love him?” I shook my head and scrunched my nose up. “No. I won’t have any problem not loving Stefan March. Trust me.” “Well, then working at Club X should be a walk in the park for you. No temptation. Nothing to take your eye off the prize.” I picked up a pink pashmina and held it up to my neck to check how it looked in the mirror. “I’m there for the cash, Carrie. Period. End of sentence. If that ass Stefan March has any other ideas, he better go find someone who gives a damn. This girl is disinterested.” “That’s good for Elliot,” she said in a singsong voice. Throwing the scarf on the counter, I held up my hand. “Stop it with the Elliot bashing, for God’s sake. What did he ever do to you?” Her mouth turned down into a frown. “Nothing. I’m sorry. I’m out of line. Forget I said anything.” “I know you mean well, Carrie. I do.” “It’s not even that I have anything against Elliot, Shay. I really don’t. I guess I’m just worried you’re going to miss out on something great because you’re settling for something meaningless. And before you say I’m bashing him again, meaningless is how you described what you two are, not me.” That had been how I described my relationship with him. I couldn’t deny it. No matter how much he wanted us to be more, I’d made sure no meaning had snuck into what we were. Nothing serious. Just great sex and a good time. “I can’t do any more than meaningless right now, Carrie. If there’s anyone to feel bad for, it’s Elliot, though. He’d like us to be more than just sex and hanging out. It’s me who doesn’t.” Carrie held up her hands as if in surrender. “Okay, I get it. You’re content to play. Play on playette.” Her words hit me like a slap to my face. “I’m not a player. Elliot knows exactly how I feel. He went into this thing with his eyes wide open, and even though he’d like us to be more, he’s okay with how things are.” “Spoken like a true player. Maybe that’s why you don’t like your new boss. Perhaps you see something in him that you see in yourself.” I scoffed at the idea that there was anything similar between Stefan March and me. The man was a base animal without even the finesse of a twenty-year-old. Guys like him used women for sex, and they deserved whatever misery they got in return. But Carrie’s comment sparked something inside me, and as I moved to walk out of her shop, I stopped. “Player, huh? Well, if anyone can outplay Mr. Stefan March, it’s another player, right?” She narrowed her eyes to suspicious slits. “Where are you going with this, Shay?”

“That man needs to be taught a lesson. He seems to think he’s God’s gift to women. I think it’s time he learns just how common he really is.” “So you plan on doing what exactly?” “I’m going to outplay the player. He thinks we’re just toys for his amusement? Well, I bet I can get him to fall for me. Then he’ll see how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot.” “What about poor, dear Elliot?” I folded my arms across my chest. “Now you care about him?” “No, not really. I’m just trying to cover all the bases. Isn’t your seducing Stefan March going to get in the way of whatever you and Elliot have?” she asked with a sly grin. “Elliot knows what we are. This isn’t going to change how I feel about him, and anyway, whatever we’re doing has to end when I leave for Copenhagen in a few months.” “I think you’re playing with fire, girlfriend. Stefan March isn’t a twenty-year-old boy. He might just be out of your league.” My mouth hung open in shock. “I can’t believe you don’t think I can outplay that frat boy wannabe. You watch. Stefan March has met his match.” “Okay, but I hope you know what you’re doing.” I turned on my heels and headed out the door. “I’m off to my new job to fill out some papers before I go to my old job. I’ll talk to you later!” “Call me and try to stay out of trouble!” she yelled as I left. As if some guy could ever be trouble for me.

* FOR THE SECOND TIME THAT day, I entered Club X with butterflies in my stomach. Even though I’d gotten the job, I really wasn’t sure what I was getting into. My friend from The Brew House had clued me in on the sexy antics of the place, making sure to let me know how hot some of the patrons were. I cared more about how great they tipped, and she’d bragged about Club X being the best place she’d ever worked for just that reason. But something in the way she kept stressing the part sex played in the job made me nervous. I should have asked Cassian about it in my interview, but it sounded foolish. What was I supposed to say? “By the way, Cassian, is it true that bartenders routinely were offered money for more than just drinks?” Now that I’d taken the job, I had to admit I should have asked something about it. The problem was I needed money. I didn’t get the sense that Cassian or the quiet brother would let a female be attacked or anything like that, but Stefan seemed to be something else entirely. I could see him being the one who made sex part of the job. As all these thoughts paraded through my mind, the quiet owner approached me. Bigger than either of his brothers, the man had a real badass vibe to him. His black hair and blue eyes made him striking, and the fact that he said next to nothing in my interview unnerved me. “It’s Shay, isn’t it?” he asked in a deep voice that resonated in the air around us. “Yeah. Cassian called me and said I got the bartender job. He said I needed to come down and sign some papers. Is he in?” Kane nodded. “I’ll take you back to him. I’m glad you decided to take the job. You’ll like it here.” He began moving toward Cassian’s office, staying next to me as we walked. “That’s what Cassian said.”

“A word of advice, though. Keep your eyes open with my younger brother. Stefan doesn’t mean any harm, but he likes to think his antics are cute.” I read what Kane was trying to say loud and clear. Chuckling, I nodded. “I understand. It takes all kinds, right? No need to worry about me. I’ve been bartending for years. I know how to handle myself.” We stopped in front of Cassian’s office, and Kane touched me gently on the shoulder. “That’s good to hear. You’re a smart woman, so I knew you’d be cool about it. Just ignore him and he’ll go away sooner or later.” I looked up into Kane’s blue eyes and saw sincerity. I couldn’t complain about two brothers being all right. That Stefan acted like a horny frat boy wasn’t their fault. No job was perfect, so I could handle it. I’d dealt with drunken patrons at every bar I’d worked at. This would be no different. And while I was at it, I’d teach that boy a lesson. “Thanks, Kane. I’ll keep all that in mind.” “Good. And if you need anything, my office is on the top floor. Stop in any time.” He smiled and walked away, leaving me feeling good about Club X. So far, Kane had been a pleasant surprise. I hoped there would be more like that. I knocked on Cassian’s door and heard him call me in. Offering me a seat, he smiled warmly. “I’m glad you decided to take the job, Shay. There are just a few things we need to go over before you can start. As I mentioned before, there’s a non-disclosure agreement we’ll need you to sign, and I want to make sure if you have any questions about the contract that you feel comfortable to ask.” “Sounds great! I understand about the NDA, and I’m fine with it. Mum’s the word. Although I’ve never had to sign a contract to work as a bartender, I understand your club is a little different than others, so it’s fine. If I have any questions, I’ll definitely ask.” He smiled again and pushed papers toward me. “Here’s the contract. I’ll give you some time to read it over and please ask if you have any questions.” As he walked out of the office, I scanned the document, sure there was nothing in it that would make me not want to sign. The fact was I needed money, and Club X was the place to get it. I’d worked in bars that required me to wear shorts so tiny my entire ass hung out. I’d worked in some where the uniform barely covered my chest, and at all of them I’d made less money in a week than I likely would make in a night or two at Club X. Whatever Cassian needed me to sign, I’d do it because this bar would get me what I needed. Signing my John Hancock on the bottom line, I looked around for Cassian to let him know. His gaze met mine from outside the office, and he returned to sit behind his desk. “That was quick. Do you have any questions?” “None that I’m sure can’t be answered by your brother since he runs the bar, right? I’m sure he’ll give me my hours.” Taking a deep breath in, Cassian let the air out of his lungs slowly, as if he was preparing himself to say something he dreaded. “Speaking of my brother, I hope you noticed the non-fraternization clause.” “I did.” That I fully intended to disregard it as I played his brother for all he was worth crossed my mind, but that would be between Stefan and me. “Good. I’m sure you won’t have any problems then. If there aren’t any questions, let me take you out to Stefan so you and he can get started.” “Great! Lead the way.” I followed him out to where Stefan stood checking over a liquor order. After telling me to find him if I had any problems, Cassian left me standing at the corner of the long glass bar waiting to find out when I’d start. Tugging my T-shirt down to show a little more skin than usual, I stuck my breasts out and put a smile

on my face for when Stefan would finally bother to pay me some attention. I saw him glance over at me out of the corner of his eye, but he said nothing, intentionally ignoring me for nearly five minutes. By the time the jackass turned to look at me, my back was killing me from doing my Barbie doll pose. How bimbos stayed like that all the time I couldn’t imagine. “Oh, you’re still here? I figured Cash told you everything you needed to know and sent you on your way since I can’t use you tonight.” Not exactly the reception I’d expected, especially since just hours earlier he would have taken me in the back and fucked my brains out if I’d given him even the slightest chance. What was with this guy? No doubt this was some kind of game, but I wouldn’t be baited by the likes of him. “No, he said to speak to you. I can’t work tonight, but I can start next week. I figured we could talk so I’d have some idea of my schedule.” Stefan’s gaze hardened. “I don’t need someone next week. If you can’t start tomorrow night, then you’re of no use to me.” Ouch. I stepped toward him and softened my approach. “I wanted to apologize for before. I didn’t mean to go all feminazi on you. As for my schedule, I just don’t want to leave my old job hanging. It seems wrong to do that to anyone. I’m sure you can understand.” My words seemed to make him happy, and he flashed me a gorgeous smile I couldn’t help admitting made him quite appealing. All it took with most people was a pleasant tone and heartfelt words to get them to do what you wanted. “Shay…that was your name, right?” I nodded and he continued. “Shay, I can’t even remember what you said to me earlier. I’ve spoken to at least a dozen women since then, all of them as good looking or more than you and with as much experience and all of them wanting to work for me. So don’t bother apologizing for whatever slight you think you caused me. But here’s how things are going to go. Either you show up tomorrow night at seven in something showing a lot of skin or you don’t. Either way, I’m fine with it.” And then he turned and walked away, leaving me with my mouth hanging open at how fucking rude he’d been. This guy was a total dick! How was I going to ever work for such a person? I gathered up my copy of the contract I’d signed and made my way toward the door. My mind filled with ideas of how I wanted to tell the bastard off, but by the time I made it to my car, I’d succeeded in calming down enough to think clearly. Taking a deep breath, I looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror and gave myself a much needed pep talk. Don’t let him get to you, Shay. You need this job and the money it will bring. Billy will understand if you can’t work the whole two weeks. And as for Stefan March, when you play him, which sure as God made little green apples you will, you’ll get even for what he just did.

Chapter Four

Stefan I WATCHED SHAY LEAVE AFTER serving up my little spiel about not giving a fuck. When I finally got her under me, I’d enjoy the feeling of conquering such a woman. She had fire, no doubt. And now I knew what I’d suspected since seeing her storm out hours earlier—she could dish it out, but she couldn’t take it. Smiling to myself from this first victory, I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Kane coming down the stairs with his same surly look from earlier. Whatever. At least one of us was having a great day. “Kane, big brother? How are you?” He stopped in front of me and folded his arms across his chest. Looking down at me, he frowned. “I have to say I’m intrigued by your seduction efforts, Stefan. Do most women you have like being treated like shit?” “All women like being treated like shit, Kane. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t want players and bad boys. Were you spying on me?” He chuckled and shook his head. “No. I just happened to hear your conversation with your new bartender. A dozen women? Where have you been hiding them? I’ve only seen her and Olivia here today.” “All part of the plan. You watch the master in action. She’ll be on her knees in no time.” “You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t cut off your dick while she’s down there. You’re playing this all wrong, Stefan. Trust me on this.” I threw my head back and let out a full laugh. “Trust you? When was the last time you even had a woman? Take notes, Kane. Maybe your sex life will improve. This one’s already on the hook. All I have to do is reel ’er in.” “Whatever you say. I’m going to enjoy your place. It’ll be a nice change from my rooms here.” “Don’t start moving in quite yet, but make sure that car of yours is all ready to go. I don’t need it sputtering on me when I open that baby up. She’s going to feel so fucking good when she finally gets the right person driving her.” “You talking about my car or your new bartender?” Rolling my eyes, I turned back to my paperwork. “The car, of course. Shay doesn’t concern me at all. This is a game, Kane. Don’t go getting all emotional about it. After today, it’s going to feel so fucking good playing her.” “You sound pretty emotional about this, Stef. I think she got under your skin earlier. I stand by my prediction. That woman won’t touch you with a ten foot pole. She can get better, and she knows it, especially after what you just pulled.” “Yeah, yeah. You’ll see. She’s halfway there already. If you want to sweeten the pot on our deal, though…” I smiled as I waited to see if Kane took the bait. He wanted to see me get my ego handed to me with this girl so much, I was pretty sure he’d want to up the ante. From behind me, I heard him make a low groan. “I’ll take that. What do you want, and don’t say my car permanently because that’s not going to happen.”

Turning around, I saw his expression telling me I couldn’t push the car thing more. No matter. I had bigger plans. “I want your area.” The look of shock that crossed his face made just saying those words worth it, but he took the bait, with reservations. “What about Cash? I don’t think he’s going to appreciate us using anything in the club as part of a bet.” “If you think I’m going to win our little wager, just admit I’m that good and we can drop it. Just say the words, Kane. You’re that good, Stefan. That’s all I need to hear.” “No fucking way, Stef. You’re not a good enough player to get that woman. No way. No how. I’ll bet my part of the club on it. But now I want something.” “What? You already get my condo for a year if you win, which you won’t. What do you want, two years?” “No. I’ll take the Ducati. Permanently.” Now Kane wasn’t fucking around anymore. Putting my bike on the line made me squeamish. I didn’t doubt my ability to get Shay, but if by some act of God or something I lost the bet, I’d lose my bike and not even have Kane’s car to ride around in. I’d have a lot riding on this woman. Putting on my best game face, I nodded my agreement to his newest terms. “Agreed. Do you know how great it’s going to be having your car, running the fantasies of this place, and getting that woman to bow down to me?” Kane stuck his hand out and grabbed mine to shake on our deal. “I’ve been thinking of buying a bike, but I like taking yours better. I might even sell it and buy another one since it likely won’t fit me. All that, your apartment, and seeing Shay rub your face in it when she turns you down flat. This day is getting better by the minute.” I yanked my hand back, already uneasy about what I’d have to give up for Shay Callahan if I lost. I couldn’t let my half-brother see I was worried, though. As far as he’d be concerned, I had it all under control. Now I just had to believe she’d react like I thought she would.

* I GLANCED AT MY WATCH and saw it was nearly seven. Looking around at the two dozen or so bartenders and servers I had for the night, I didn’t see Shay. Well, at least if she didn’t come back I wouldn’t have to give up my bike to Kane if I lost the bet. Too bad, though. It would have been fun breaking her. “Okay, everybody gather round!” I barked out to the group spread far and wide across the main floor of the club. Lola moved to stand next to me and flashed me a sexy smile. “Hi, baby. What’s new?” A gorgeous blond with big blue eyes and a rack to die for, she was one of the bartenders I routinely slept with who didn’t end up suing us when I blew her off for a few weeks or so. She could always be trusted to give me a good time, so I always gave her the best spot in the bar. “Not much, Lo. You’re going to be at the front bar near the door tonight, as usual.” Sliding her hand over my back, she squeezed my ass. “You’re the best boss, Stefan. How anyone can dislike you is beyond me.” I looked down at her and winked, our sign for meeting up later in my office. Smiling, she winked back and walked over to a small group of female bartenders, most of whom I hadn’t slept with yet. Quickly sizing them up, I filed their names and what I liked about them away in my mind and returned to the meeting at hand.

“Okay, listen up. Lola is leading off tonight, so she’ll be in charge of the front. Tammy, you’ll be handling the back near the dance floor. Mika, you—” Before I could finish my sentence, Shay appeared at my side and interrupted me. “So sorry. I couldn’t find a place to park.” Glaring down at her, I continued with my assignments for the night. When I was done, I pulled her aside and tried to hide how much I liked seeing her in her tight black buttoned down shirt and very short black miniskirt. “Next time, get here on time or don’t come at all.” Looking up at me through her bangs, she smiled. “Sorry, bossman. I promise to be good from now on. Tell me what you want me to do and I’m on it.” Caught off guard by her almost syrupy sweetness, I nevertheless liked this Shay better than the snapping bitch I’d met the day before. I especially liked how her C-cup tits nearly spilled out of her shirt. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to keep up the cute act for long, though. Beneath this accommodating little thing she wanted to playact lay a much wilder creature I knew liked to scratch. “Go with Lola tonight. You can shadow her to get your bearings. She’s my best.” “For now,” Shay said with a sly smile. I knew when a woman wanted me, and all the signs were there with this one already. That weekend with Kane’s Mustang and my moving up to the top floors were just a few short days away. Shay handled herself like an expert behind the bar. I watched her and Lola for about a half hour before I had to admit she knew how to do the job. By midnight, she could man the end of the bar by herself, so I motioned to Lola to follow me to my office. Closing the door behind her, Lola began to undress quickly, used to our time together being short. “It’s been a while, Stefan. I missed you.” I licked my lips at the sight of her incredible body buck naked and walking toward me where I sat behind my desk. Opening up my arms, I eased her onto my lap. “You know how it is, Lo.” Slowly grinding against me, she nodded as she watched her pussy rub her juices into the front of my pants. Her pretty lips pouted, and she said in a tiny whine, “I know. I just wish we did this more often.” “Well, we’re here now,” I groaned as I slid my hands around to grab her gorgeous ass. If I didn’t need to get back out on the floor, I’d have taken her over the desk. Since I was pressed for time, this would have to do. I’d get off either way, so it was all good. “I guess. I just miss how often we used to get together,” she said as she nuzzled my neck. I tugged her head back by the hair so she faced me. “Take my cock out and let’s get going, Lo. We don’t have a lot of time.” Lola was nothing if not obedient, and she immediately did as she was told. Already hard, I couldn’t wait to get inside her. Even after all these months of fucking one another, she still had some of what I liked in a woman. The rest I could ignore as long as I got off. Reaching into my desk drawer, I pulled out a condom package and tore it open with my teeth as Lola stroked up and down on my shaft. I pushed her hands out of the way and unrolled the condom over my skin, hating the feel of it but knowing it was just one of the necessities of life. “Go to town, baby.” Lola lowered herself onto my cock, moving far too slow for my taste. Grabbing her hips, I pushed her hard onto me and then back up a few times before she got the hint that she needed to ride me, not just play fucking games if I was ever going to get off. She bounced up and down on me like an excited girl on her first pony ride, and if I’d bothered to care, I might have said she looked cute. I didn’t care, though, if she was cute or not. All I needed her to be was enough for me to come. The sound of our fucking filled my ears, helping me move toward my release. I liked hearing her

squeal when I rammed my cock into her or pulled on her hair hard to get her to move faster. Nuzzling my neck, she moaned as I slid my finger into her ass and wiggled it, knowing that drove her nuts. It also worked to make her cunt spasm around me, which made me happy. And women said I didn’t care about their pleasure. What bullshit! Fifteen minutes later, I had a smile on my face and Lola had even gotten off, a bonus because I knew how to take care of business. Bending down, she kissed me and whispered, “Thanks, Stefan. That was fun.” “It was. Now get back out there and show that new girl how to bartend at Club X while I get myself situated here.” I lifted her off me and watched as she put her tiny skirt and shirt back on. She certainly was cute. Turning to face me, she leaned down to kiss me again. “Until next time.” Smacking her on the ass, I winked. “Definitely. See you out there, Lo.” After she left, I had to admit Lola did know how to ring a lot of my bells. If I had any interest whatsoever in dating someone, she’d definitely be near the head of the line. Thank God I had no interest in that shit. All I had to do was look at my brothers to see how love ruined everything for a guy. Cash walked around like a sad puppy when Olivia wasn’t around. Not that my future sister-in-law wasn’t great, but the guy was a lost cause. And Kane? Whoever had fucked him up had done one hell of a number on him. The guy worked around gorgeous dancers day in and day out and never even thought of touching them. If that’s what caring for a woman did to you, I wanted no part of it. As I thought about the sad state of affairs both my brothers had ended up in because of love, my office door opened. Pulling up my pants, I zipped my fly just as Shay walked in and closed the door behind her. “Hey, I wanted to speak to you, Stefan. Do you have a minute?” Caught with my pants down, literally, I nodded without thinking and sat back down. “Yeah, sure. What do you need?” “I just wanted to apologize again for us getting off on the wrong foot. And thanks for putting me with Lola tonight. She’s been so great in helping me get my bearings.” As Shay spoke, I remembered who I was dealing with. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but something in the way she sounded put my suspicions on red alert. “That’s good, and don’t worry about how we started off. It looks like you’re getting settled in fine. Just stay close to Lola for a while.” “Sounds great. Is there anything else you’d like me to do?” There was no way to mistake the sexy tone in her voice. I’d had enough women hit on me to know Shay was offering more than just learning how to make a new drink. Standing from behind my desk, I walked toward her until we stood no more than a foot away from each other. Looking down, I saw a distinct sparkle in her green eyes. “Like what? Do you have something in mind?” Her tongue slid across the seam of her lips before she smiled, and her eyes met mine with a look I recognized from every woman I’d ever slept with. “Lola said you like it when your girls are go-getters. I just wanted to show you I was.” Leave it to Lola to break the new girl in just as I liked. This was why she was my best worker. My eyes scanned Shay’s incredibly hot body for a long moment before I returned my gaze to meet hers. “Well, Lola’s right. I do like go-getters. I think you’ll work out here, Shay. Just follow Lola’s example and we’ll get along just fine.” “That’s great. Thanks! And if you want me to do anything…” Her voice trailed off and she tilted her head to the side. “Just let me know. I’m a quick learner on top of being a go-getter, Stefan.” Her thinly veiled proposition threw me for a second, and by the time my brain reset with an answer,

she’d turned on her heels and headed out the door back into the club. My bet with Kane was going to be over before he could warn, “Don’t touch any of the dancers,” which I had every intention of ignoring. This girl was all but mine. It was almost too easy. But I’d been a good boy for a few weeks, so I deserved easy.

Chapter Five

Stefan CASH AND KANE SAT IN their usual spots on opposite sides of Cash’s desk as I strolled in to our one o’clock Monday afternoon meeting at twenty minutes before two. These weekly get-togethers did nothing to help me run the club, so as far as I was concerned, they were optional. That I showed up at all should have meant something. Unfortunately, neither of my brothers saw things that way. As I took my seat next to Kane, two pairs of blue eyes shot me death stares, intended to make me understand how fed up they were with me and my disrespect for the weekly meeting. One problem—I didn’t care. “Hey, guys! What’s up?” “Stefan, we have this meeting every Monday at one o’clock. You’re nearly an hour late,” Cash said through gritted teeth. “You know how I feel about this whole meeting thing, big brother. You could always just give me the notes and we’d all be happy.” I felt Kane lean closer to me and turned my head to see him glaring at me. “Stefan, we’re tired of carrying your immature ass around here. Cash may be willing to take your bullshit, but I’m not.” My half-brother’s tolerance for my carefree outlook on life had become extremely limited these days. He used to be more like me. There was a time when he and I would get piss drunk every night and even though he never hooked up with any of the girls we had working for us, he still knew how to have a good time. God, I missed those days. I looked across the desk at Cash and saw his patience had just about run out too. I needed to diffuse the situation or I risked Kane beating the hell out of me, which he could in a heartbeat, unfortunately. While Cash and I might be an equal fight, a fight with Kane would likely be me getting my ass handed to me or at least knocked around a bit. Certainly not the way I wanted to begin my week. “I get it. I’m sorry. I promise to take these meetings more seriously.” Seeing the look of disbelief on their faces, I raised my right hand and added, “Scout’s honor.” Cash rolled his eyes. “Stefan, we’re done already. I have a meeting at three, so I don’t have the time to rehash everything Kane and I talked about. Maybe not knowing what the hell is scheduled for the next week will make you realize showing up at the owners’ meeting each week is important.” He stood from behind the desk and buttoned his black suit coat, a clear sign he was leaving. I wanted to ask what meeting he had since I imagined it had something to do with Olivia and their engagement. Just the mention of her could put a smile on his face. I didn’t like when Cash was pissed at me, even if I didn’t show how much it bothered me. Ever since he and Olivia got serious, he’d been in a pretty forgiving mood with me and to see him so angry now because of something I did made me feel like shit. It was stupid, but it did. Before I could even ask how she was, he marched past me and out into the club, leaving me with an angry Kane who now sat with his arms crossed and glaring at me. Well, if you couldn’t piss off both your brothers by midday on a Monday, you weren’t much of a younger sibling, right?

I turned toward my half-brother and shook my head. “What? You going to lecture me now?” “On what? How immature you are? How there’s no way in fucking hell I’m ever going to let you take over the top floors, even if you do get in that girl’s pants?” “Speaking of that, you’re going to be running the bar soon, so get ready.” Now he rolled his eyes just like Cash had and stood to leave. “Whatever, Stef.” Jesus. Why couldn’t I have been an only child? I followed Kane out to the bar. “Hey, are you planning to just not talk to one of the owners of this place? I think you’re going to have to speak to me at some point. I mean, we are equal partners here.” “What do you want?” Rounding the corner of the bar, I pointed to the upper floors. “I want to know you’re going to hold up your end of the bet since she’s just days away from giving in.” Kane grimaced and shook his head. “Assuming I believed that, there’s no way Cash is going to let you take over anything after you’ve shown your inability to manage much else than liquor orders and girls who pour drinks.” “Is that all you two think I do here?” I asked in shock at how easily he diminished my part in the running of our club. His brows knitted and he snorted in derision. “Yeah, you do something else, but fucking women isn’t exactly what I’d call managing anything.” “Well, be that as it may, I’m going to win our bet, so be ready.” Kane’s expression twisted into one of pure disgust. “You don’t get it, Stefan. Both of us are sick of your shit. It’s all well and good for us to make a fun bet, but you’re making our jobs harder. That bullshit’s not going to fly anymore, little brother.” He stormed away, leaving me standing there before I could even defend myself. Making their jobs harder? What the fuck? Did my part of the club ever suffer? Fuck no! While he stood around upstairs with the dancers, who basically managed themselves, I worked my tail off down here to make sure the bar was the best in town. Who the fuck did he and Cash think they were? My part of this club made us money every night we were open, and unlike both of them, a big reason for that was how my staff was with the members. My staff, not theirs. Behind me I heard footsteps and I turned to see John Sheridan standing there. God, he was disgusting. Dressed in a dingy white dress shirt and tan dress pants that looked like they’d never seen an iron, he reminded me of a used car salesman. Greasy chunks of brown hair hung in his eyes, and I could have sworn I smelled the old cigar smoke that clung to those gross clumps. Thankfully, he wasn’t there to see me. “Hey, Sha…uh, I mean John. What’s up?” I asked as I tried to avoid focusing on his head. “I’m here to talk to Cassian. Is he back there?” I shook my head. “No, he just left for a meeting. Did he know you were coming?” Shank screwed his expression into a comical grimace at my news. “Damn. No, I just hoped to catch him.” “Kane’s upstairs, if you want him,” I offered, happy for the opportunity to make my half-brother’s day more miserable by a visit from Shank. He seemed to consider the idea of making the trip up to the fifth floor but then shook his head. “Nah, that’s okay. I’ll just come back when Cassian’s here. When’s he coming back?” What the fuck? Was I my brother’s goddamned keeper or his secretary? “I don’t know. He said he had a three o’clock meeting. I’d guess he’ll be back tonight before we open. You can stop back then.”

And go the fuck away from me right now. “Okay.” Shank turned to leave and then stopped, turning back to face me again. “Oh, by the way, I want to thank you for taking such good care of my little girl. She can’t say enough about how much she loves working here for you.” “Your little girl?” Holy fucking hell! Shank had reproduced? The horrifying image of what his daughter might look like raced through my mind, sending a shiver down my spine. Which of my bartenders could possibly be his kid? None of my workers looked like that. And then a terrifying thought tore through me. Had I slept with her? “Yeah. Lorraine. I mean Lola. She loves working here. She can’t say enough about how good you are to her.” Clapping me on the shoulder, he smiled. “So thanks, Stefan. Anyone my daughter likes is all good in my book.” I nodded and forced a smile as my brain tried to process the fact that the woman I’d been sleeping with came from this disgusting human. Was her mother some supermodel Shank kept hostage as a sex slave? “Oh, Lola. Yeah, she’s great. She knows her way around the bar all right. The members love her.” And until that moment, I’d been enjoying having sex with her. He grinned and nodded at me. “I wasn’t sure about you, but Cassian’s always been a good guy so I knew my little girl would be in good hands here. Thanks for taking such good care of her.” “Yeah, my pleasure,” I mumbled as he walked away, my brain still having a hard time wrapping itself around the idea of whose loins Lola had come from. Shank headed out the door and I tore up the stairs to talk to Kane, who I suspected knew all along that Lola was Shank’s kid. I found him sitting in that shithole of an office looking like some black and white movie private eye. Jesus, how the hell was I related to this guy? “When the fuck did you plan to tell me about Lola being Shank’s daughter?” Kane looked up from his laptop and I saw that vicious smile of his and the twinkle he got in his eye when he’d done something to fuck me over. “Is she?” “Don’t act like you didn’t know. I told Cash about Lola right after I hired her, and I know he told you to check her out. What the fuck, Kane? You know I’ve been doing her. You didn’t think I should know she’s related to the guy we pay each month to keep us safe?” “Would it have stopped you from sleeping with her?” he asked, cocking one eyebrow like he was judging me. In truth, it wouldn’t have. Lola and I had gotten together the first week she worked behind the bar, and I liked fucking her. She was the perfect woman—hot, a great lay, and eager to please so she didn’t make any demands on me or my time. But it would have been nice to know she was Shank’s daughter all the same. “No, but that’s not the point. And don’t sit there with that judgment face on. It’s none of your business who I sleep with, big brother.” Kane huffed his disgust. “I don’t give a damn who you fuck until it becomes something we have to deal with because you’re too goddamn horny to choose your partners better. I’m sick of women suing us because you promise them something and then treat them like shit. So if I look like I’m judging you, it’s because I am. Grow the fuck up and learn to handle your affairs the right way, like a man, or stick with your hand.” I rolled my eyes. “Fuck you, Kane. Maybe if you weren’t always alone, even though you’re surrounded by gorgeous women every night, you wouldn’t be so jealous.”

“It’s not jealousy, baby brother. See, this is why Cash and I get along so well and you’re the black sheep. We understand there was a time to fuck around and now it’s time to be men. You don’t seem to have gotten the memo. You’re twenty-seven years old, Stef. How long do you plan to do this gigolo thing doing every bartender you can? Doesn’t it get old after a while?” “Does sleeping with hot women get old? Uh, no, Kane. No, it never does. What are you, a eunuch or something?” Kane took a deep breath, like he always did when he was preparing to serve up some bullshit lecture. This time, though, he just shook his head and said, “No. I’m a man, not a boy, Stef. I know what I do here affects all of us. It isn’t just about what my cock wants anymore.” “Well, good for you. I hope you’re happy with yourself,” I said in response, unable to think of anything better. I hated when he did the whole responsible brother thing. That was Cash’s role, or at least it always had been. Kane used to be fun, but ever since Olivia tamed Cash, it seemed like Kane was angling to be the next poor sucker to settle down. Not that there was a woman in his life, as far as I could tell. “You know what screwing around with Shank’s daughter means, don’t you?” Closing my eyes, I silently reminded myself not to make the mistake of coming up to this floor again until I was the ruler of this place. “No, Kane. I don’t know what that means, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.” “It means you better not mess up with this one.” My eyes flew open. “What does that mean? I’m not planning on marrying Lo, if that’s what you mean. This guy isn’t lining up for a life of misery. No, thanks.” “Stefan, screwing around with Shank’s daughter isn’t like screwing around with some ordinary bartender. We need Shank to keep this place open. Cash is working on getting more help in that area, but until he does, Shank is someone we have to keep happy.” “So, what? All of this falls on my head?” “Welcome to adulthood, Stef. Responsibility sucks, doesn’t it?” “Why is this all on me?” “Because you’re the one who thought it was a good idea to get into Lola’s pants. You don’t see me or Cash screwing around with her, do you? This is on you.” “Well, maybe someone should have told me who she was when he found out.” “It wouldn’t have mattered. I didn’t find out until after you started sleeping with her.” “Yeah, I bet. How would you know when we first got together?” Kane stared at me for a long moment and then rolled his eyes. “Do you think you’re fooling anyone down there? All I had to do was walk through one night and notice you not around and I knew what you were up to. A few minutes later, I saw her leave your office and knew.” “Whatever. So what are you saying? I don’t have a choice as to what I want to do with her anymore? Now I have to sleep with her or what? Shank will ruin us?” “You have to make sure she’s happy because if she’s not, her father might not be so willing to help us.” The realization of what Kane was saying hit me like a fist to the face. Now I had to sleep with Lola. I had no choice. Suddenly, what had always been a good time felt like an obligation, a responsibility. “Well, how the hell am I supposed to do that and still live like a single man should?” My half-brother laughed right in my face, as if that question hadn’t been one hundred percent serious. “You’re not very slick, are you? Have you been exclusively sleeping with Lola all this time?” “No, but now with all this riding on it, it sounds like I’ll have to. I can’t do that. It would be like living like a monk!”

“Stefan, monks don’t fuck women in their offices when they’re supposed to be working.” “You know what I meant. And how the hell am I supposed to live up to my part of our bet if I can’t sleep with anyone but Lo?” “You’ve got some strange priorities there, baby brother. I just told you that a lot of our safety here is riding on your keeping Shank’s daughter happy, and you’re worried about how you’re going to get into another woman’s pants.” “The fact that who I sleep with means so much to this place is fucked up, Kane. Even you can agree with that. But our bet isn’t something I’m planning on just letting slide because you and Cash can’t find friends in high places.” Kane stood from behind his desk and walked to right in front of me. “You got yourself into this. You get yourself out of it. Don’t forget that whatever happens with Shank’s daughter will affect all of us, though.” “What about if you hung out with her? She’d probably like you well enough. I mean, you’re not me, but you could cozy up to Lola and then I could do my thing like always, including Shay.” The look in Kane’s eyes told me he wasn’t on board with my plan. “Go back downstairs and do some work, Stef.” “C’mon, it could work. Lo’s okay, and she’d probably go for it if I told her you were into her. You look like you could use a good time, and she’s definitely that. Even better, you could probably handle Shank, if push came to shove. You know, put that body of yours to good use on all counts. What do you say?” “I say don’t screw this up or we’ll all suffer.” And with that, Kane closed his office door in my face, leaving me to deal with this huge burden all by myself. As I walked down to the bar area, I couldn’t believe that once again everything in this damn place was put on my shoulders. While Cash spent his time at museum parties drinking champagne and schmoozing with the city’s upper crust and Kane trolled the upper floors surrounded by gorgeous women who basically did his job for him, except for the occasional asshole he and his henchmen had to deal with, I had to make this club the best in town. And now I had to act like some lovey dovey boyfriend to Lola to make sure the guy we paid protection to remained happy. This was definitely going to put a crimp in my lifestyle.

Chapter Six

Shay B Y SEVEN O’CLOCK I WAS back at Club X and ready to make some good money and some good headway on playing Stefan March. The nightly bartender meeting hadn’t begun yet, so I found Lola standing near the back bar. A pretty girl with bleached blond hair, big blue Barbie doll eyes, and boobs I was sure had to be at least a big C cup, she knew her stuff behind the bar, and I could appreciate that. The club’s members appreciated the other things about her, I’d noticed. She seemed to have a tremendous crush on Stefan, so I thought I should feel her out as to just how close they were. It was one thing to play a player, but I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, and if she and he had something together, all plans to make Stefan finally see how much of a jackass he was would be off. “Hi, Lola! You ready for another night at Club X?” I asked as I grabbed myself a glass of water. “Hey, Shay! Another day, another dollar, right?” I took a sip from my water and smiled. “I hope so. That’s what I’m all about here.” “Oh, that’s right. You’re saving money to go where?” she asked, her head tilted like she was truly interested in that part of my life. “Copenhagen. I leave in late December, so I need to get as much money under my belt as I can.” “Where is Copenhagen?” This wasn’t the first time I’d been asked that. It seemed that no one in Tampa knew where Copenhagen was. Smiling, I answered, “Denmark. You know, where Hamlet lived?” “Hamlet? Who’s that?” she asked with those big doe eyes staring at me in confusion. “You know, Shakespeare? To be or not to be?” I saw in her blank expression she had no idea what I was talking about, so I just shook my head. “Just someone I knew. Denmark is in northern Europe.” “Will it be cold there when you go?” “Yeah, I think it will be. I guess some of that money I’m planning to make better go to winter coats and hats,” I joked. Lola seemed distracted, and I followed her gaze to Stefan on the other side of the room talking to Mika, another of the bartenders. All I’d learned about her came from her snapping at me every night I’d worked. Cutthroat and worried I’d take her place behind the bar, if not under our boss, Mika had shown herself to be a first class bitch. But she had a knockout look with short black hair and model cheekbones, not to mention an ass that looked like you could bounce a quarter off it, so it wasn’t surprising that Stefan couldn’t take his eyes off her. “Do you think she’s pretty, Shay?” Lola mumbled as she continued to stare at him with the bitch. “In a she-probably-eats-her-men-after-sleeping-with-them way, I guess.” Lola turned toward me and giggled. “She probably does, doesn’t she? She doesn’t like me because Stefan likes me more than her. I heard her complain about him giving me the front bar the other night.” “Mika doesn’t like me either, so don’t feel bad. And don’t feel bad about knowing your stuff behind the bar. You deserve to be at the front of the club.” “You’re pretty good too, Shay, and you don’t hate me.” I looked past her to see Stefan patting Mika on the ass. What a pig! Looking back at Lola, I smiled, hoping to make her feel better. “I don’t hate people who are better than I am. I learn from them. Mika hates

people who are better than she is because she’s immature, like a teenage girl.” Lola lowered her head just in time to miss Stefan’s sexual harassment of Mika. “She likes Stefan.” Why, I couldn’t imagine, other than the fact that she was a bitch who deserved someone like him. “Do you like Stefan, Lola?” Turning around, she nodded slowly. “He’s the best boss I’ve ever had. Stefan’s much nicer than most people think he is. He gets a bad rap, but he just likes to play around is all.” “I think you’re being too generous, Lola. What you call playing around most lawyers would call sexual harassment.” She shook her head and frowned. “See, that’s what’s wrong with this world. Men like Stefan love women. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone.” Lola’s gentle tone unnerved me and for a moment, I wanted to believe what she saw in our boss was true. Then I saw him practically feel up Kerry and then Kat just after he’d been touching Mika and knew my gut was right about him. Stefan March was a sexually harassing, male chauvinist pig, pure and simple. That someone sweet like Lola saw anything in him was likely because she was too nice and had nothing to do with him deserving her kindness. But the question was, did she defend him because they were together or just because she was a sweet, if naïve, girl? “Lola, are you and Stefan…you know…?” For a moment, I thought I saw guilt in her eyes, but she shrugged and shook her head. “No. I just think that he gets attacked for being who he is. There’s nothing wrong with a man who appreciates women.” “Oh, okay.” “Stefan’s not the type of man to go with just one woman, you know? I mean, why should he? He’s young, hot, and wealthy. Why would he want to tie himself down to just one person?” she said wistfully, making me think she’d just lied to me. “Gather up!” the man himself barked and I followed Lola to the center of the room to where the bartenders’ meeting was to begin. Stefan seemed to be in rare form this night. Unlike on most nights, he didn’t wear a Club X t-shirt but instead wore a long sleeve Henley more like Kane would wear, but as always had a pair of jeans on that accentuated his muscular body. The guy knew how to show off his assets. There was something about him tonight, though—something that seemed even cockier than usual, if that was possible. “Ladies, my brothers didn’t bother to tell me there was a private party for tonight, so you’re hearing about it for the first time like I am. We’ll do fine, like we always do, so let’s show Cash and Kane that this is the part of Club X that makes this place what it is. Showtime is in one hour!” Everyone around me cheered and hollered, and I turned to see Lola clapping. God, she really did like being his cheerleader! “So since we need to show our best stuff, tonight Shay will be heading up the front bar, along with Mika. I want to see you two up on the lifts too. The members love that. Lola will be heading up the back bar, along with Kerry. The rest of you know what to do, so it’s the status quo for you. And my bottle service girls, I want to see you sell the goods. Now let’s show my brothers how this place really runs!” More cheers and hoots filled my ears, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lola’s expression filled with disappointment. Why the fuck was Stefan putting Mika up front, where she didn’t belong, and shoving Lola, his best bartender, to the back bar? Everyone moved to their positions, and Lola turned toward me. “I guess I’ll see you later, Shay. Watch yourself with her.” She walked off in her usual perky fashion, but I knew she felt like Stefan’s assignments meant a

demotion for her. He stood at the front bar talking up Mika, which I imagined would be what my entire night would be like, and I made my way over to him. “Hey, what’s with putting Lola in the back? She and I work well together. It’s not like she’s a barback. She’s your best bartender here.” “Not that I have to get your permission for anything I do, but I wanted her back there with Kerry because she needs to get up to speed. Why do you care anyway? Mika’s just as good.” Now I definitely knew he was up to something with that bitch. Turning my back to her so she couldn’t hear me, I leaned in toward him and said, “No, she isn’t. She also doesn’t get along with anyone, especially Lola and me. You just made my night ten times harder, Stefan.” “Well, then I guess you better get figuring out how to make Mika like you,” he said in that snide voice that made me want to push his face in. With a sneer, I turned away and mumbled, “Maybe if I fucked her and played favorites with her she’d like me better.” Rounding the corner of the front bar, I felt Stefan behind me. I spun around and backed up, unnerved by his angry look. Leaning down, he said in my ear, “Shay, you’d do much better here if you were more like Mika.” “And I let you sexually harass me so I could steal a position that should be someone else’s because she’s better? No, thanks. But at least I know you aren’t all about your libido. You put me as first bartender up here, and I haven’t slept with you yet.” That last word slipped out and I watched Stefan’s eyes lit up. Fuck! I tried to brush it off, but it was too late. He’d heard it, and I knew all he saw now were green lights where I was concerned. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing. My plan to outplay him didn’t revolve around playing hard to get. No, it revolved around what would happen after I got him just where I wanted him. “Yet? Shay Callahan, I think you’re warming up to me. Not that I ever doubted you would.” I couldn’t help my natural reaction to his exhibition of swagger. My eyebrows shot up and I snapped back, “Only in your fantasies, Stefan. I’ll be the one who forever got away.” He flashed me that sexy grin I had to admit made him look incredibly hot and leaned down close to my face. “Just so you know, I’m even better than I am when you fantasize about me.” My mind went blank as the sight of him so close to me made my head get fuzzy. Maybe it was his gorgeous brown eyes staring directly into mine, or maybe it was that delicious smelling cologne lightly winding around me as I stood there in front of him, but at that moment I had no witty comeback, no snappy barb to counter his cockiness. He didn’t miss a beat, though. “And I’ve succeeded in making you speechless, Shay. I even impress myself.” With that, he backed away, still grinning the smile of a victor, and headed into his office. I wanted to march right in there after him and read him the riot act of every feminist writing I’d ever read, but my feet remained planted in their spot and my head felt like some kind of haze had washed over my brain. Mika’s ordering the front bar’s wait staff around behind me like some Gestapo brought me back to reality, and I busied myself with getting our area ready for when the party began in less than an hour. Unfortunately, Stefan’s belief in Mika’s abilities didn’t mean she could actually do the job as well as Lola, and it didn’t take long for things to fall apart at the front bar. Spilled drinks, mixed up orders, and rudeness to the members seemed to be all she was capable of. For hours, I struggled to clean up her messes only to have more piled on. As Stefan had ordered, I made sure to climb on the lifts behind the bar to show off my assets to the members a few times. The same bottles that sat perched at the top of the wall actually could be found

under the bar, but as he knew, the members loved to see us ride up and down in our sexy little skirts and shorts. Nothing like having men and women clap because you can stand in three inch heels on a tiny platform moving toward the ceiling. As if that was some skill I should be proud of. Mika seemed to enjoy balancing precariously on the lifts and used them whenever possible, but each time she jumped on them, she was as clumsy as she was nasty and when she wasn’t dripping liquor onto me, she was dropping entire bottles on the floor. It didn’t take long before the area behind the bar felt like a war zone. Looking up after she let a hundred dollar bottle of scotch sail past me and shatter into a million pieces at my feet, I barked, “Watch yourself, Mika! We sell alcohol here, not wear it.” She whipped me the finger and snapped, “Fuck you!” She was all class. As I dried the scotch from my legs, a member leaned over the bar and said, “She’s all thumbs back there, Shay. Be careful. I think she’s trying to kill you.” Finally, just before midnight, I couldn’t take any more of Mika or her shit. Pushing her out of the way as she screwed up yet another mixed drink order, I snapped, “Why don’t you find some ice or something and I’ll take care of these people.” “Fuck you, Shay! I don’t have to take your shit any more than I have to take Lola’s. Stefan will hear about this.” I stared her down for a moment as I threw out the mess she’d made of a Malibu Bay Breeze. “Well, when you’re mouth isn’t full, be sure to tell him I said you suck at this job. I hope you’re better at what you do for him.” She stormed away as the members huddled around the bar clapped and laughed, and for the first time that night, I felt like I didn’t hate working at Club X. Handing the man his drink who’d ordered the Breeze for his girlfriend, I smiled. “It’s an incredibly complicated drink, you know.” As he leaned toward me, he laughed and stuffed money in my tip jar. “You’re the best, Shay. Love your style!” He may have loved my style, but by night’s end I knew Stefan didn’t. Mika never returned to the front bar, leaving me alone to handle things, which I did, but as the crowds began to thin, Stefan stormed up to me with a look in his eyes that told me the time for playful banter was long gone. “My office. Now!” he ordered as Mika stood a few feet behind him smiling like she’d won some contest of wills. “Stefan, I have no one to man the bar,” I answered as I poured a glass of scotch on the rocks for the man who stood right in front of me. “Lola’s coming up to take your place. My office. Now!” he barked. I saw her as she walked behind the bar, her face ashen. “I’m here, Shay. Don’t worry.” Turning away from Stefan, I quietly said to her, “Are you okay? You look white as a ghost. Did he yell at you too?” She took my hands in hers and squeezed them. “No, no. I’m just worried about you. Kerry told me that Mika has been filling Stefan’s head with lies all night. I don’t want to see you get fired.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry, Lola. I can handle myself. And by the way, whatever Mika told him I said is probably true. She sucks at this and I let her know.” Lola giggled, but her smile quickly faded as the sight of Stefan standing in front of us frightened her. “Shay, now!” I gave Lola a quick wink to let her know everything would be fine and followed Stefan and Mika into his office. It became obvious immediately that Mika had the upper hand. Standing next to his desk as he

sat behind it, she looked like some goddamned first lady of Club X perched there wearing that smug face of hers. “Shay, I can’t have bartenders doing what you did tonight.” Was he serious? Did he really intend on sitting there and backing Mika? I said nothing, sure if I opened my mouth that whatever I said would make matters worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mika smirk, like she knew the outcome of this meeting would be all in her favor. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asked, his voice full of an edge I didn’t know Stefan had. “I don’t have anything to say that you want to hear, boss. You’ve already made your mind up and have no interest in hearing what I have to say.” “See? She’s such a bitch!” Mika whined. Pushing on his arm, she added, “Just fire her. I can take the front bar and do a great job if I don’t have to deal with her shit.” Stefan jerked his shoulder to get away from her, but I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. I leapt out of my chair and began saying what had been on my mind all night. “A great job? Are you fucking kidding? You couldn’t find your ass with both hands. You’re nothing compared to Lola, who should never be anywhere but the front bar. All you’re good for is what you two do in here, and I doubt you’re even very good at that!” Stefan’s eyes grew wide at my outburst. “Shay!” Mika came at me, screaming, “Who do you think you are? I’m a better bartender than you any day!” I didn’t move quickly enough, and she caught my cheek with her nails, scratching all the way from the corner of my eye to my jawline. Stunned, I staggered back as she continued coming at me until I ran into the wall behind me. Stefan darted around his desk to grab her, but she was like a wild animal and got me once more before he could take hold of her hands. “Mika! Stop!” he bellowed, but she kept swinging at me, even as he held her tighter. “Let me go! I’m going to scratch the bitch’s face off!” Hiding my face to protect myself, I heard him say something to her about waiting outside for him and then they were gone. I lowered my hands and saw blood on my fingertips from where I’d touched my face. In all the years I’d worked in bars, never before had anyone attacked me like that. Drunks were usually too disoriented to do much harm, and even if co-workers didn’t like me, they never jumped me like Mika just had. I sat back down and tried to calm myself. Taking a few deep breaths, I looked down at my hands and saw them shaking uncontrollably. All of a sudden, my emotions became jumbled and before I knew it, the tears were rolling down my face mixing with my blood and creating a pale red liquid that dropped onto my white shirt. Stefan returned and sat down behind his desk with a stunned look on his face. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was upset I’d gotten hurt. But that wasn’t his style. “She’s going to demand that I fire you, and I’m probably not going to have a choice.” My anger burned inside me and made me want to cry again. Before I let him see me shed a tear over him or his bullshit, I stood up and told him what I thought of the whole damn mess. “Maybe if you weren’t fucking her you’d be able to stand up for someone who deserves it. I get it. You don’t want another sexual harassment suit. I hear you’re an expert on them. Fine. I’ll save you the trouble. I quit.” I spun on my heels and headed for the door, but Stefan caught up to me before I could leave. “Shay, wait. You don’t have to go.” His brown eyes stared down at me with concern. What was he so worried about? “It’s okay, Stefan. You’ve never done anything with me that should make you worry. Look after your girlfriend. You’ve got

more to lose with her than with me.” The truth of what I’d said registered on his face, and his hand slid from my shoulder. I knew he had no choice. The way he behaved with all his other employees made his decision for him. “I’m sorry.” I opened the door and shook my head. “Whatever, Stefan. You turned out to be just what I knew you were from the moment I met you. Have a nice life.”

Chapter Seven

Stefan EVEN THOUGH I KNEW WHAT waited for me at the weekly meeting with my brothers, I showed up on time and ready to work. For three days I’d felt like shit about losing Shay behind the bar, and Mika hadn’t made my decision to let her go any easier. My bar needed Lola and Shay, but if I pissed off Mika, I knew what would come next was the all-too-familiar lawsuit. Cash wore a look of amazement when I strolled into his office before one. As I took my seat in front of his desk, his mouth fell open. “I didn’t think we’d see you today, at least not this early.” “Yeah. Well, your lectures finally got through this thick skull of mine.” His expression changed to one that showed me he didn’t believe a word I said. “Really? Well, five years doesn’t seem like too long to learn a lesson.” Kane walked in just as Cash finished his verbal jab and sat down next to me. “Nice of you to join us, Stef. And on a day when you’re going to get your ass handed to you too. Channeling your inner masochist today?” “Don’t start, Kane. I’m here. Appreciate it for what it’s worth.” My half-brother raised one eyebrow and stared at me. “Touchy. Problems in your area getting you down, Stefan?” The fucker knew what had happened with Shay and had waited until our weekly meeting to bust my chops about it. Why couldn’t I have been an only child? I shot him a look and turned back to face Cash. “Well, let’s get this show on the road. I’m eager to see what I’ve been missing at all these meetings.” “Wait a second. I missed something. What’s Kane talking about with problems in the bar? Is something going on?” Looking away, I mumbled, “No.” “Since you did that thing you always did when you were little and tried to lie, I know there’s something wrong. You might as well tell us, Stefan, so we can discuss it and figure out a solution.” Discussing it was the last thing I wanted to do. Discussing it meant that I’d have to listen to the two of them lecture me once again on how I shouldn’t sleep with my bar staff. Thanks, but I already figured that out. “There’s nothing to discuss, Cash. Two of my bartenders had a problem at the private party last week and I had to handle it. That’s all.” “That’s not what I hear,” Kane said in that snide voice that made me want to hit him. “I hear that shitty bartender Mika took a shot at Shay, and you let Shay go.” “Well, you heard wrong.” Cash’s eyes darted back and forth between Kane and me like he was watching a tennis match. When neither of us offered any more information, he asked, “Well? What happened if what Kane heard isn’t right?” “There was a problem between Mika and Shay at the front bar. A misunderstanding more than anything else. I spoke to them and settled it, but Mika got a little excited and ended up scratching Shay. Nothing big.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kane lean back and smile. “He’s conveniently leaving out the part where Shay was bleeding from this scratch and quit.” “Is this true, Stefan? Did Mika actually attack her? Did Shay quit?” Cash asked, his voice getting more impatient by the second. “It wasn’t an attack so much as she was excited and her hand caught Shay’s cheek.” “Jesus Christ, Stefan! And then, after Mika attacked Shay, you let Shay quit? Have you lost your mind?” “Maybe if he wasn’t fucking the attacker Shay would have fared better,” Kane said with a chuckle. I turned toward Kane and let my anger explode. “You’re just pissed off because of our bet! You don’t give a fuck about my bartenders and their problems, which by the way are nothing compared to what my people and I do to make this bar a success.” “What bet?” I heard Cash ask as I stared Kane down. “Why don’t you tell him, Kane? Tell Cash how you made a bet with me that involved your area of the club.” Kane’s face twisted into an expression of disgust. Turning to face Cash, he explained, “Stefan and I made a bet about Shay. He believed he could get her to fall for him and I bet against him. He seems to think that because I agreed to putting my part of the club on the line in this bet that you’ll be angrier about that than his sleeping with yet another bartender, a shitty one at that, and losing a good one because he couldn’t defend her or risk another lawsuit from the girl he’s fucking.” When Kane finished, he turned to look at me and sneered. “Sound about right, Stef? I hope I didn’t miss anything.” “Fuck you, Kane.” “Enough!” Cash bellowed. “Stefan, as much as I know I should care that you two are making bets about you sleeping with yet another bartender, the immediate problem is that you let one of our employees get attacked by another employee and then let her quit. That’s a whole different kind of lawsuit. Why didn’t you discipline Mika?” Kane laughed out loud at Cash’s mention of discipline. This was why I didn’t bother attending these goddamned meetings. “I told her she couldn’t do that. She knows. She was just excited about something Shay said.” Cash pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’m not going to bother asking what Shay said to upset Mika so much, but regardless, we can’t have bartenders attacking one another. Mika needs to come see me immediately, Stefan. As for Shay, I suggest you find a way to get her back.” “I can handle my staff, Cash. I don’t need you to talk to Mika.” More laughing from Kane. Fuck, I was sick of his shit! And I was supposed to be the immature one? Cash didn’t find any of this amusing, though. Grimacing at both of us, he shook his head. “No, Stefan, it’s obvious you can’t handle this one. I’ll speak to her as soon as she comes in tonight.” I stood to leave. “Well, this has been fucking fantastic. I’ll make sure to do this again sometime next year.” “We’re not done yet, Stefan. In fact, we haven’t even begun the meeting.” He couldn’t be serious. There was more than that? I stared down at Cash in stunned amazement. “Are you kidding?” “No. Sit down. We have a private party to discuss, and you’re going to love this one.” Whenever one of my brothers said that, I knew I wasn’t going to love anything that came out of his mouth after it. Taking my seat again, I waited to hear about this private party I knew I’d hate. “Cabot Marshall booked his birthday party for next Thursday last month, but he didn’t tell me until today what he wanted the theme to be. You ready for this?”

“Let me guess. A circus theme? Marshall has a freaky vibe going for him,” Kane offered. Cash shook his head and a huge smile spread across his face. “No. Even better. Stefan, you want to take a guess?” “In so many ways the answer to that is no.” “Fine. Marshall wants the party to have a Seventies theme. You know, disco, bellbottoms, Charlie’s Angels?” “Who the fuck are Charlie’s Angels?” I asked, already sick of this meeting and talk of this party. “Do you know anything other than what immediately involves you?” Kane snapped. Ignoring his sarcastic insult and my quiet “Fuck you” in return, Cash continued, “Marshall wants the whole nine yards with this one, and since he’s a platinum member, we’re going to give it to him. Most of the staging will fall on your shoulders, Stefan, so you need to get up to speed on the Seventies.” “Are you talking about the 1970s?” I asked, still confused. “Yes. The 1970s.” “And I have to do what concerning this?” Cash looked over at Kane and then back at me. “The biggest thing you’ll need to do is have your staff dress in costume. Look it up online before you tell them about it. Other than that, you need to get a disco ball.” “And this is on top of Halloween, which is the next day?” “No. Marshall wants the party to be open, so we’ll be doing the club’s Halloween party that night too. It will just be the Seventies theme for anyone invited and the staff.” “And what about Kane’s people? They don’t have to dress up? What the fuck, Cash? Like I don’t have enough to deal with already.” “My people will be in costume, Stefan,” Kane said in his usual annoyed tone. “But the first thing people see when they enter this club is your part, so your bartenders will need to be in the right look.” “Fine. I’ll Google the 1970s and see what I can find.” “And after you do that, you need to convince Shay Callahan to come back to work here. I’ve seen her behind the bar. She’s good. A whole hell of a lot better than Mika, Stefan. I’m not saying I’m going to fire her when she comes to see me tonight, but you need to get your priorities in order, little brother. Lawsuits are bad enough, but you’ve never let the bar suffer before. You need to fix this and fast.” I wanted to sit there and take my brother’s scolding like I wanted to tear my arm off and beat myself with it, but he wasn’t wrong. I’d messed up with Shay and needed to make that right. Not that I wanted him to know all that, though. “If we’re done, I have a full day’s work to do,” I said, trying to hide how much this whole Shay thing bothered me. Looking over at Kane, Cash said, “Unless Kane has anything to add.” “I have nothing. I haven’t lived in a self-involved cave all my life, so I don’t have to research anything for Marshall’s party. As always, my people will be ready.” Standing, I looked down at my half-brother. “Maybe if I had a costume designer like you, my life would be easy too.” Before he or Cash could give me more shit, I left our weekly Monday afternoon meeting, sure I didn’t want to go through anything like that again anytime soon. I was also sure of one other thing. I had to find a way to get Shay to return to Club X.

Chapter Eight

Shay LEANING IN TOWARD THE BATHROOM mirror, I examined Mika’s handiwork on my cheek. A thin scab covered where she’d scratched me with her fake nails, except for near the corner of my eye where it still remained red. Thankfully, it seemed to be healing well and I wouldn’t be scarred for life because of that crazy bitch. Shaking my head, I still couldn’t believe all that had happened because of Stefan March. The worst part of the whole damn thing was I wouldn’t be able to make all that money at Club X that I needed for my trip, and now I didn’t even have a job at all. How I’d pay rent and all my bills I had no idea. This was what I got for being so stubborn. Elliot padded up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Looking at me in the mirror, he said, “You look tough, Shay. Chicks with scars are hot.” Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. “Not funny, El. That crazy bitch could have literally scratched my eye out.” He nuzzled my neck and mumbled, “Is that really possible?” I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t try to make me happy about this. I’m still angry about the whole thing.” Elliot looked up at me in the mirror. “Okay, stay pissed. It’s good for the soul.” “You’re no help at all, you know that?” He backed away from me, patting me on the ass. “I do what I can.” I returned to staring at my bruiser look and heard a knock on the front door. I so wasn’t in the mood for dealing with anyone. I waited for Elliot to answer it, but the knocking continued, so I trudged out and opened it to find standing there in the hallway none other than the person who’d caused all my problems. “Hey, Shay. Can we talk?” Stefan March looked out of place asking to talk to me at my home, and my first inclination was to slam the door in his face. Nothing he had to say could make the situation better. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about, Stefan. You showed me who you were the other night, and I don’t want to work for someone like that.” The hurt from my words registered in his eyes, and for the first time, he looked truly bothered by one of my comments, even though I’d said much worse to him nearly every day since we met. “If you’d just give me a minute, I really think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.” “Unless you plan on apologizing and offering me my job back with a raise, I’m not interested.” “Well, that’s pretty close. Can I come in so we can talk for a minute?” An apology and more money? It certainly was tempting. But I knew how this would end up. I’d go back to Club X and the whole Mika problem would still be there. “I don’t think so, Stefan. Nothing’s changed at the club. I can’t work like that.” I began to close the door, but he grabbed the edge and stuck his face in close. “Come on, Shay. Hear me out.” He looked so silly with his face pushed in between the door and the jamb that I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You remind me of Jack Nicholson in The Shining.” Smiling, he shot me a wild look. “Here’s Johnny!” His expression softened, and he said, “Please let

me in.” “That you knew what I meant by my Nicholson reference impresses me, Stefan.” “Enough to let me in?” he asked as he gave me his best puppy dog eyes. I backed away from the door. “Yeah. Come in.” Flashing me that fabulous Stefan March smile, he pushed the door open and came in, happier than I’d ever seen him. Elliot moved close by my side as the door closed, and we all stood there awkwardly staring at one another. Stefan leaned forward and extended his hand to shake Elliot’s. “Hey, I’m Stefan March. Shay’s boss. Nice to meet you.” “Former boss,” I corrected him as Elliot grabbed his hand to return the handshake. “Nice to meet you, Stefan. I’m Elliot.” And then we stood there awkwardly silent again until finally Elliot kissed me on the top of my head and quietly said, “I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.” “Nice to meet you, Stefan.” “Yeah, you too.” I waited until I heard the bedroom door close and said, “Do you want to sit down?” Stefan looked around at my old living room sofa and hand-me-down chair my aunt had given me when I moved in and nodded. “Sure. Okay.” It wasn’t what he was likely used to, but I wasn’t about to be ashamed of what I had. It may not have been the kind of place he had with his millions to spend, but it was my home. I took a seat on the sofa as he sat on the edge of the chair like he planned to bolt out the door at any moment. “So what did you want to talk about, Stefan?” He looked toward the bedroom for a moment and then back at me. “So, is that your boyfriend?” “Elliot? He’s a…my…” I wasn’t sure how to categorize Elliot. We lived together, had sex like rabbits, and acted like boyfriend and girlfriend, but at that moment, calling him my boyfriend seemed wrong. “I’m sure you didn’t come here to talk about my personal life, so what did you have to say?” The look on Stefan’s face was pure confusion at my inability to answer a simple question about the man who obviously lived with me, but he simply nodded and smiled. “Okay, fair enough. I want you to come back to the club. I made a mistake and I need you back behind the bar.” I had nothing to lose, so I came out guns a’ blazin. “Not if Mika’s still getting preferential treatment.” “She’s not.” “Oh? And she didn’t scratch your eyes out when you told her?” I knew I was pushing my luck, but I didn’t care. “No. She understands one more problem and she’s gone.” “I won’t come back unless you promise that Lola never gets stuck at the back bar again, especially during a party.” “I’m not going to discuss Lola’s—” he began, but I cut him off. I stood and shook my head. “Then we have nothing to talk about.” “Wait. Shay, wait. Why do you care about where I schedule Lola? I thought your problem was with Mika.” “Stefan, my problem the other night was that you made my job next to impossible because you showed Mika preferential treatment and stuck Lola at the back bar, where she made next to nothing, I bet.” With a look I assumed wasn’t intentionally meant to be drop dead sexy, he smiled up at me and said, “I’ve shown Lola preferential treatment on many occasions, Shay.” I had a feeling he’d just confessed to sleeping with Lola, but I couldn’t be sure. Not that it mattered.

Shunting Lola to the back bar not only hurt her but me too. “That has nothing to do with me, Stefan. All I know is that Lola is your best bartender and she belongs up front. You seem to want me to man the front bar, but if you want me back, I want Lola up there with me when we’re scheduled together. Yes, she’s a great teacher for newbies like Kerry, but at what cost? That party could have gone much better if there were two good bartenders at the front bar.” He sighed and nodded. “Okay. Done.” “And about that raise?” “Fifty cents more an hour,” he said with a smile. “Done.” “You drive a hard bargain, Shay. I better leave before you convince me to give up my bar to you and Lola.” Stefan stood to leave but stopped just before he made it to the door. “Oh, before I forget. Thursday we have a private party again. You’ll have to be in costume. Know anything about the 1970s?” “The Seventies?” “Yeah. The member wants the party to have a Seventies theme. You know, disco ball and all? So you’ll have to wear a costume.” Immediately, old Dukes of Hazzard reruns jumped into my mind and I knew exactly what I’d dress up as. “Got it. I’ll be ready.” “Good. Any chance you can be back at work tonight? I know it’s short notice, but I’d consider it a personal favor if you could.” Stefan turned on that charm that was so him, flashing me a smile and giving me his trademark sexy look I’d seen time and again with other bartenders and members at the club. It seemed odd to have him acting like this toward me, but as I stood there in jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup on, I suddenly realized why women found him so appealing. He had a way of making a woman feel beautiful, even when she felt anything but. Raising my hand to cover the scratch on my cheek, I nodded. “Sure. I’ll be there by seven, as always.” “Thanks, Shay. Oh, and I’m glad to see you’re healing nicely. See you later.” He left me standing there unsure how I felt about Stefan March. An arrogant asshole since the first moment I met him, he now seemed different in some way, as if some of that arrogance had been wiped away leaving a nicer person in its place. I liked this Stefan much more than the old version. The bedroom door opened, and I turned to see Elliot staring at me with an icy look. His lips pursed, he said nothing, but his body language screamed his unhappiness. “Well, now you’ve met Stefan March. See what I meant all those times I complained about him?” “All I saw was you not able to even call me your boyfriend, even though I live here with you. What’s that about, Shay?” I had to turn away to avoid the accusatory look in his eyes. I knew what he was saying. I didn’t know how to make things better, though. “It’s nothing, El. Don’t make it into something it’s not.” “What’s going on here, Shay? We’ve always been up front with each other from day one. I think I deserve to know the truth.” I walked past him toward the kitchen, not wanting to have this conversation even though I’d known for a while that it was inevitable. Elliot and I had been good for a long time, but whatever this was between us had run its course. That I couldn’t even call him my boyfriend in front of someone I didn’t care about said more than Carrie ever could about the state of us.

He followed me, refusing to let this go. I couldn’t blame him. He deserved to know how I felt. The problem was I didn’t know how to say it. “You’re into him, Shay. Just tell me.” My eyes grew big as I stood there stunned at his statement. “Into him? No. No way.” “I saw it all over your face. Maybe you don’t even know yet, but you want him.” I’d pretty much abandoned my plan to play Stefan March, so whatever Elliot thought he saw on my face in front of Stefan was wrong. “No, you’re mistaken. He’s my boss, and that’s it.” “Whatever. I know what I saw. He’s into you too. All I know is that whatever we were isn’t there anymore. I don’t know what happened, but things are different with you ever since you started working at that club.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I hadn’t meant for things to end with him like this. Elliot and I had never been something that would last forever, but I’d always thought we’d part ways better than this. It was just that I didn’t feel like I had before. The hurt in his eyes bit at my heart. “Don’t do this, Elliot. We’ve had a good time, but we both knew this wasn’t anything permanent.” He hung his head. “I think it’s time for me to go.” As much as I didn’t want things to end with him like this, I didn’t move to stop him as he turned toward the bedroom to get his things. When he came back out with his black duffel bag in his hand, a lump formed in my throat. All those months together and things were ending just as they began with him and that one duffel bag he brought with him that first night. He walked up to me and kissed me softly. “Have a good life, Shay. Remember to have some fun on your way to the top.” “El, I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what I was apologizing for. I just knew I was sorry it was ending like this. “Don’t be sorry. I knew what we were. I always hoped for more, but you never lied and even though I think you and that guy are into each other, I don’t think you cheated either. You have nothing to feel sorry for.” Hating how awkward this felt, I fingered his collar, wanting to feel him one last time. “I never cheated, El. When I was with you, it was only you.” He pressed a kiss onto my forehead and gave me a weak smile. “Take care, smart girl.” I watched him leave, unable to move from where I stood staring at my front door for a long time before I looked around my apartment and realized that day I’d always known would come had finally arrived. It had come a little early and not in the way I’d planned, but it had come. Heading into the bedroom, I saw his side of the closet empty, hangers taking up the space where his clothes had been. As I grabbed one of my work shirts, I slid my hand over those hangers and took a deep breath. “Bye, El.”

* LOLA STOOD AGAINST THE FRONT bar wearing a huge smile as I walked toward her just as the nightly bartender meeting was about to begin. “Nice to see you again, Shay.” “Yeah, you know how it is. I couldn’t stay away.” “Stefan told me I’m back up at the front bar tonight and every night. Isn’t that great?” she beamed. “Right where you belong, if you ask me.” “Maybe he’ll put us together again. He should. We work terrific together.”

I looked over toward Stefan and smiled. “Well, you know how Stefan is. I can’t figure out why he does the things he does.” “Gather up! We’ve got a big night ahead of us!” Lola and I made our way to the circle of bartenders and servers who surrounded Stefan, and I saw Mika hang back away from the crowd. He hadn’t lied. I hadn’t been sure of what I’d find when I came back, but he’d been true to his word, it seemed. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any more problems with Mika from now on. I listened as Stefan handed out the night’s assignments, loving how happy Lola looked as he announced her new position as permanent head bartender and everyone but Mika clapped for her. Once or twice our eyes met and I smiled at him, surprised at how much I was beginning to like this new Stefan. I was sure he’d show me that arrogant asshole part of him again, but for the time being, I enjoyed the bossman. When he finished, everyone scattered to their places to get ready for a busy Monday night. Assigned to the front bar with Lola, I had to laugh when she asked how I really got the scratch on my face. “You heard right. Mika tried to scratch my eye out.” “I bet Stefan saved you, right?” Still his biggest cheerleader. “Not exactly, but now that I think of it, I should have asked for combat pay to come back.” “He really does appreciate you, Shay. I can see it in the way he talks to you.” “I must have missed the appreciation side of our boss, Lola. All I’ve seen is the sexually harassing side and the one where he was so angry I thought flames might shoot out his eyes the other night.” She giggled and said, “You’re funny, you know that?” “I guess. I just say what I think.” Handing me a bottle from under the bar, she smiled. “I think that’s a good thing. There aren’t enough people in this world who say what they think.” I couldn’t help but wonder how someone who’d obviously spent a lot of time in bars could be so gentle and naïve. Lola seemed to be at least my age, if not older, but she had the soul of someone who’d never seen ugliness in the world. “You’re too nice, Lola.” “Not always,” she said as she twisted her face into a fake grimace. “You always make excuses for Stefan, and you seem to like the one part of me that pisses people off the most.” “Well, I told you, men like Stefan are just being true to themselves, like you are. I think that’s why I like both of you. There’s nothing phony about either of you. That’s how people should be.” Kerry interrupted us with a laundry list of questions, so Lola headed off to the back bar to help her. As I crouched down to get the area under the bar ready for the night, I looked up to see Stefan leaning over staring down at me. “You need something, bossman?” “Just wanted to see if everything’s okay with my new bartender.” I stood up and shook my head. “I’m not new, Stefan.” “Well, I was hoping that maybe we could say that this is your first night so we could get off on the right foot this time around.” He had that same look on his face that he’d worn earlier as he left my apartment. His brown eyes sparkled, like he was enjoying himself. Maybe he was right. Maybe we should try to get along instead of always being at each other’s throats. I reached my hand out in front of me to shake his. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Shay Callahan.”

He shook my hand and smiled. “And I’m Stefan March. Nice to meet you, Shay. I think you’re going to love working at Club X.” His grip was light, even though his hand dwarfed mine. For the first time, I noticed how truly built he was and how attractive he could be. As I took my hand back, I smiled to him. “I’m sure I’m going to love it here.” “Hey, Shay, glad to see you back.” I turned to see Stefan’s brother Kane come from behind him. Always a nice surprise, he was all smiles for me tonight. “Well, I couldn’t stay away for long. Stefan convinced me everybody wins if I came back.” “I’m sure they do. Mind if I steal my brother away for a moment?” “No problem. I’ll leave you guys to it.” Stefan’s expression had morphed into a sneer, and I walked down to the end of the bar to cut up some fruit. The two of them were still within earshot, though, and I heard Kane say, “You look like you’re making progress, but you’re still going to lose, Stef. And I’m going to enjoy it.” “Lose my ass. Get ready to learn how to run a bar, Kane. And make sure the Mustang is ready because I am.” I looked up to see them both staring down at me, Stefan with his new kinder look and Kane with a look that made me think Elliot might have had the right idea but the wrong brother.

Chapter Nine

Shay MY RETURN TO CLUB X turned out to be even better than I imagined. Whatever Stefan said to Mika worked because she practically avoided me like I had the plague and when she was forced to be around me, she made every effort to be civil. It looked at times like she wanted to bite through steel, but she remained polite, if cool. Cool was fine with me, though. Lola’s new position as head bartender suited her, and I liked to think that I might have had something to do with her getting the recognition she deserved. As for me, I liked working with her and most of the other staff, and even Stefan had begun to grow on me. Not like he did for Lola, but at least I didn’t despise him anymore. The night for the private party with the Seventies theme rolled around, and I showed up at work in my Daisy Duke costume, impressed I still fit into cutoff shorts I’d worn in my freshman year in college six long years before. A bunch of the girls had said they were coming dressed as Charlie’s Angels, so at least I wouldn’t look like one in a line of Farrah Fawcett clones. Nearly everyone had arrived already, so I took my place behind the front bar with Lola and hoped Stefan would assign me there for the party. Lola looked me up and down and giggled. “I’d know those shorts anywhere! You’re Daisy Duke from that Dukes of Hazzard show, aren’t you? I love it!” “Yeah, I figured since so many people would naturally go to the Charlie’s Angels look that I’d do something different.” Twirling around, I looked down at my shorts and said, “You don’t think they’re too short, do you? I mean, it is Club X but I’m not dancing.” “They’re perfect. You have a good body, so you can carry them off. What do you think of my costume?” Lola wore a dark wig tied into ponytails right below her ears with red ribbons, and her costume included a red tank top and blue shorts that resembled hot pants. I knew exactly who she was, but I couldn’t remember what TV show she was from. “Her name is Maryann, but what show was she on?” “Gilligan’s Island! The guy at the costume place told me it would be perfect.” “Definitely. We look perfect together up here. Let’s hope Stefan thinks so too.” “I think he will. I asked him to put you up here whenever you’re on.” She was too sweet. “You know as head bartender I think you could just tell him you want that, Lola.” Shrugging, she smiled. “I know, but he’s so used to telling us what to do. I don’t want to give him a hassle.” Behind her, Stefan walked up to the bar looking at a stack of papers and chimed in, “A hassle about what? Don’t tell me it has anything to do with this party because I’m already fed up with this Seventies shit. Between the disco ball and the DJ with his music, I can’t wait to get back to the present once tonight is over.” “Do you like our costumes?” Lola asked quietly, obviously hoping for some validation from him. Looking up, he studied her and then me and smiled. “I have no idea what you two are supposed to be, but I like what I see. As long as it works with the theme and Marshall that freak is happy, I’m happy.” Lola beamed her pleasure at hearing Stefan was happy, but he just walked away, preoccupied with his paperwork. She so wanted him to like her, but from everything I’d seen, if he had been with her already, it

was just to play. The party began around nine, and I could tell immediately that the birthday boy liked to party hard. He and his friends downed glass after glass of top shelf scotch and cognac, tipping Lola and me like they had the ability to print money themselves. After just a few hours, my rent and all my utilities were covered. The party raged on for hours, with some of my favorite oldies songs blasting through the room, and when regular members joined in to celebrate Halloween, Club X came alive like I’d never seen it before. The bar and dance floor were packed with people all in costumes, most of them far more revealing than mine or Lola’s, and the place had a sexual vibe to it usually reserved for the upper floors. Even the ruler of the fantasy area came down to party, and while Lola handled a group of members dressed in togas who only wanted to talk about the orgy they’d love us to join, Kane hung out on my end of the bar waiting to talk to me. When I finally got to him nearly a half hour later, he offered me a tour of the upper floors. “I thought maybe you’d like to come upstairs and see how crazy Club X gets on this, the wildest night of the year.” Kane’s suggestion surprised me, but my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed. “I can’t do it until the crowd dies down, though. Will the offer be open later?” “Any time. Just come up to the fifth floor. I’ll be there.” I smiled at the chance to finally get a look at the fantasy area of the club, but Stefan had seen Kane’s visit too and quickly pushed his way through the crowd to find out why he’d been there. Yelling over the crowds, he leaned over the bar and said in my ear, “What did Kane want?” I stopped pouring a glass of cognac and looked at him in confusion. “Just to offer to let me see the top floors. That’s all. I think I might go up if the crowd thins out down here later.” “I need you down here, Shay. Lola can’t handle the entire front bar by herself.” Was he losing his mind? “I wouldn’t leave her alone to handle everything, Stefan. If it doesn’t slow down, I’ll just go up another night. It’s okay. It’s a standing offer.” My willingness to be a good employee didn’t make him any happier, and he stormed off toward his office without saying another word. The crowd didn’t slow down until nearly two in the morning, but when I had the chance, I told Lola I’d only be gone for a few minutes and hurried upstairs, too curious not to take the opportunity to check out the fantasy area of the club. Kane stood at a counter at the top of the stairs watching the costumed crowds as they filed past him down the hallway. Far more serious looking than he ever was with me, he seemed as hard as a statue so no one stepped out of line in front of him. I stopped at his perch and with a smile said, “I only have a few minutes, but maybe a mini-tour can happen?” “Did it finally slow down in the bar? That explains why my floors are mobbed. My guys keep telling them if they don’t have a room reserved it won’t happen, but it doesn’t keep them from hoping something will open up. This is typical Halloween behavior at Club X, though.” “Maybe it would be better another time when it’s not so crowded?” Kane’s blue eyes lit up and he gave me a smile. “Come around here. I’ve got an idea.” I walked around behind the counter almost chest high on me and saw a bank of nearly twenty monitors he used to watch all the rooms. The scenes they showed were in black and white, but even in those bland colors I instantly saw what Carrie had meant by the freaky side of Club X. He pointed at the screens and said, “Each one belongs to a room and I can use the bigger ones to take a closer look. Which one would you like to see better?” A feeling of exhilaration raced through me. “I don’t know. This feels like spying on people’s private moments together.”

“If they wanted privacy, Shay, they’d stay home.” Looking down at me, he smiled. “Take your pick.” My eyes traveled from one screen to the next, each one showing me sex and lust at its finest. A dark haired beautiful woman dressed in a nearly see-through black dress that fell to the middle of her thighs danced behind a window for a man who kneeled just inches from it staring at her like a starving man seeing food for the first time in months. I pointed at the screen and looked up at Kane. “He looks like he’s having a good time.” “That’s exactly the fantasy he requested. He wants her close, but not too close as to tempt him. He won’t risk losing his wife and kids for his fetish, but he can’t stop himself either. So he has us stop him.” “What’s his fetish?” I asked, studying the scene playing out in front of me. “See-through clothing,” he said with a deep chuckle. “Gets him off every time.” I turned toward Kane and shook my head in confusion. “Why doesn’t he just have his wife wear something see-through and save himself some money?” “It’s not the same for him. Nothing to fight against.” Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t help but think men were silly creatures. “Leave it to a man to want that.” “Oh, you think this is just men? Look over here.” Kane pointed at the monitor farthest from me and I moved to stand in front of him to see better. “Sex is an equal opportunity game, Shay.” I looked down and saw a woman sitting on a couch watching a man slowly undress another woman. As Kane and I stared at the monitor, the man removed a long white glove one finger at a time and then held it up for the woman next to him to examine. The entire scene had a surreal feel about it. “What are they doing? Will he and the woman he’s undressing have sex right there in the room?” Kane looked down at a sheet of paper and nodded. “After he removes every single piece of clothing she’s wearing, he’ll have sex with the woman on the couch. Simone had to find two of everything to wear tonight. The member has a thing for watching her husband undress another woman before she sleeps with him. See? Freak isn’t just a male thing.” “Do you watch these every night, all night?” “No,” he said with a grin as he sat back on a barstool. “I’ve seen everything here, so my eyes are trained to merely scan the monitors for any signs of problems. Other than that, I don’t watch because I don’t care.” “Doesn’t anyone just have hot sex in these rooms?” I asked and felt my cheeks grow hot as I realized the words that had just come out of my mouth. He nodded. “Sure, but most of what happens at clubs like this has little to do with just sex and almost nothing to do with love, so what you might think of as hot probably wouldn’t be what you’d see in any of my rooms.” “This is an interesting place you have here. Thanks for the closer look.” I felt someone’s hand touch mine and turned to see Stefan standing in front of me. His knitted brows and frown told me my boss was none too happy with me. “What are you doing up here, Shay?” he asked sharply. “Just getting the tour of Kane’s area.” “You need to get back downstairs. I’m sure Kane can handle things on his own.” I turned around toward Kane and bit my lip. “I think I’m in trouble with the boss. Thanks for the closer look,” I whispered. “My pleasure. Come back anytime.” As I walked toward the stairs, I tried to avoid Stefan’s angry stare and hoped I hadn’t ruined the good relationship we’d developed since I’d come back. I heard him snap at Kane, but didn’t quite understand what he said as I hurried downstairs back to see how Lola was holding up.

AFTER THE CLUB CLOSED, LOLA and I stood in stunned amazement at how much the two of us had earned for just one night of bartending. This was what I’d come to Club X for. “Can you believe this, Shay? I’ve never made this much in my life!” Lola squealed as we counted out our tips. “I guess dressing up like this was a good idea, after all. A little T and A gets some great T-I-P-S,” I joked. Stuffing her earnings into her purse, she finished the last of her clean up and motioned toward the door. “Want to get some breakfast? I’m starving.” As much as I liked the idea of hanging out with Lola, after a long night all I could think of was hitting the bed, even though it would be another night alone. “Another time, okay? I’m feeling pretty beat.” “No problem,” she said with a big smile. “I’m off tomorrow night, so I’ll see you Saturday?” “I’ll be here. Be careful walking out.” “I always ask Stefan to walk me out when I leave this late, so no worries. See you later!” Lola headed toward Stefan’s office, and I finished the rest of my work. The idea of going home to bed had seemed like a great idea, but the fact that Elliot was gone and I was headed to an empty apartment made it more sad than anything else. Lost in thought, I didn’t see Stefan approach the bar until he was right in front of me. “Hey, Shay. Good job tonight. You and Lola handled this front bar like the experts you are.” Forcing a smile, I said, “Thanks, Stefan. I hope you weren’t too angry about me checking out the fantasy rooms upstairs.” He narrowed his eyes to slits and stared at me. “You okay? You look like something’s wrong?” “Yeah, I’m fine.” “Mika didn’t give you any more problems tonight, did she? I thought she understood once more and she’s gone.” “No, nothing like that.” He came around the end of the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey off the top shelf. Putting it on the bar in front of him, he grabbed two glasses and turned toward me. “Neat or on the rocks?” “I don’t know, Stefan. I probably should get going.” “You don’t look like you’re in any hurry, Shay. Something happen between you and your boyfriend?” Ignoring his question, I simply said, “Neat, please.” He poured me a glass and I downed a few gulps hoping to push the whole Elliot thing out of my mind as quickly as possible. I’d finished the entire glass without saying another word, only realizing afterward that I’d gone into my own head right there and ignored Stefan. I pushed the glass back toward him. “Another one, thanks.” He did as I asked without a word, and I closed my eyes as the alcohol hit my tongue this time. I’d believed that ending things with Elliot would be easy since I’d always kept him at arm’s length, but now that the reality of his leaving settled into my brain, I couldn’t be so cavalier about it. “You want to talk about it?” I turned to look at Stefan and shook my head. “No. Talking isn’t going to make it better.” He threw back the last of his first glass and nodded. “Okay. I’m sure you two will work things out sooner or later. I wouldn’t worry.” I took another swig and looked away. “Elliot moved out right after you left. We’re over.” “Oh. I’m sorry, Shay.” “Yeah. Thanks.” I turned back to face him. “Pour me another.” “You sure? I wouldn’t think a little thing like you could handle much more.”

I leveled my gaze on him and snorted my disgust. “Little thing? You must have me confused with someone else. I’m no little girl. Hit me with more of that whiskey.” A sexy grin spread across his lips. “Okay. Your wish is my command.” “Good. I’m in no mood to be told no tonight, Stefan.” “I would never tell you no, Shay.” I took a drink and felt it burn as it went down my throat. Rolling my eyes, I chuckled. “You never tell anyone no, Stefan. You’re the definition of a man whore.” He didn’t say anything, and I thought I saw him cringe ever so slightly at my mention of him being a man whore. I couldn’t imagine why. He’d meticulously built that reputation with many women, and never before had I seen any evidence that he didn’t enjoy every minute of his conquests. In some way, there was something to respect about that. “I guess you have me all figured out, don’t you?” I raised my glass to him. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and going after it. That you don’t want one woman is perfectly fine, in my mind. You’ve got looks, money, and freedom. Who would want to give any of that up? You can have any woman you want. It’s hard to believe you wouldn’t take advantage of any opportunity that presents itself.” “What about you? You have all that going for you.” “What about me? I don’t have the money you do, Stefan. If I did, maybe I’d be like you. Who knows? But you’re not going to get a lecture from me about your being a man whore. Play on, player.” I swallowed the last of my drink and pounded the glass onto the bar a little harder than I’d intended. A giggle escaped from my lips. “I didn’t mean to let that slam like that. I think I might have had my fill.” “Maybe I should give you a ride home. You might not be okay to drive.” Taking a step forward, I walked straight into the edge of the bar. I looked down and then over toward Stefan. “I was going to say no, but since I just walked into the bar and there isn’t a priest or rabbi around to make it a joke, I guess I better take you up on your offer.” He stepped behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Always a smart ass, huh? Come on. I’ll take you home.” I wasn’t too drunk to walk, but by the time I hit the warm night air outside, I definitely knew I shouldn’t be driving. I walked beside Stefan and wondered what kind of car he drove. I guessed it would be something expensive and definitely fast. Maybe a Porsche. Or maybe a Jag. Yeah, he had a Jag vibe to him. Looking around, though, I didn’t see any car that fit. “Where’s your car? I’m in heels here, Stefan,” I said as I clutched his arm tighter. “I don’t have a car. My bike is behind the club.” A bike? I should have known. We turned the corner of the building and there it was. Stefan’s motorcycle. I’d never seen a bike like it, and it definitely was expensive and fast. Big, black, and with him sitting on it. With a way too sexy look, he said, “Climb on.” I slid my leg over the seat and wrapped my arms around him. “Shouldn’t I wear a helmet?” “Not tonight. Hang on!” He revved the engine, and the bike vibrated beneath me, powerful and loud. I tightened my hold on him and pressed my cheek to his back as he took off flying through the streets of Tampa. His body felt powerful like the bike, and I moved my hands down over his stomach, feeling his washboard abs beneath his t-shirt. When my palms touched the top of his jeans, I stopped their movement, sure I felt his hard cock just beneath my hands. “You okay back there?” he yelled back as we turned the corner onto my street.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I answered, unsure of what I was now that my buzz had vanished on the ride there. He stopped in front of my apartment and shut the bike off. I swung my leg around to stand and tried to fix my hair, sure the wind had blown it into a look that resembled a brown Darth Vader helmet. “Thanks for the ride home. See you at work!” Turning toward the front of my building, I heard Stefan get off the bike and say, “I’ll walk you to your door.” He followed me all the way down my hallway, and I knew where this was going. The desire to go through with my plan to play the infamous Stefan March mixed with the emotions I was feeling over Elliot’s leaving. I knew I should have just closed the door on him, but at that moment, I didn’t want to be alone. “Well, I got you home safe and sound, so I guess I’ll get going, unless you need me for something…” He let his sentence drift off as he slid his gaze over my body. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too. Stepping toward him, I looked up into his eyes, and then as I backed through my front door, smiled. “I’m in no hurry to sleep.” “Good. Me either.”

Chapter Ten

Shay F OLLOWING ME INSIDE, HE SLID his hand through my hair and cupped the back of my neck, pulling me into his body. His mouth slanted over mine, and he kissed me with a passion I never expected from someone like him. My head felt like it was swimming, and every inch of my body felt like it was alive. Stefan moved fast and quickly unbuttoned my blue and white plaid shirt I’d loosely knotted at the bottom. Running his hands across my ribs, he slid them up over my bra, cupping my still covered breasts and murmuring, “This needs to come off too.” I smiled up at him, strangely amused by what he’d said. “Well, I’m sure you know how to work one of these.” His tongue slid over his lips and the corners of his mouth hitched up in one of those sexy grins only he could give. “I do. Turn around, princess.” Struck by his nickname for me, I did as he ordered. His hands made quick work of my bra, and it slid down my body as he took my breasts in his hands. Moaning in my ear, he pushed his hips forward and I felt his hard cock behind me. “Mmmm…as gorgeous as I thought they’d be.” I arched my back and leaned my head against his muscular chest. Closing my eyes, I moaned as he began rolling my nipples between his finger and thumb with exactly the right pressure to make me wet. Elliot had never cared much to pay much attention to anything above my waist, preferring to spend his time in foreplay almost exclusively on my pussy, so I’d missed what Stefan was giving me. “Ohhh…that feels so good,” I groaned as his mouth nuzzled my neck. He nipped my earlobe with his teeth and squeezed one nipple harder. “I want to see what’s beneath these shorts, baby.” His hands slid down from my breasts to unbutton the top of my Daisy Dukes. Hooking his fingers in the belt loops, he tugged my shorts off my body, taking my thong along with them. Naked, I moved to turn around to undress him, but he stopped me. I turned my head to look at him. “Am I the only one getting naked here?” Behind me, he slipped his shirt over his head to reveal the gorgeous body I’d always known was under those Club X shirts. The man obviously spent serious time at the gym. Spinning around as he inched his jeans down over his legs, I saw for the first time how stunning Stefan March truly was. Every inch of him seemed to be covered in muscle, from his enormous shoulders to abs that couldn’t have been more defined to incredibly toned legs. I stared at the tattoo I’d never seen on him at the club. I was used to seeing his sleeves full of women and what looked like mythological creatures on his arms, but now as he stood shirtless in front of me, I saw a tattoo that was only writing across his ribcage. In black and red, the words ALL GOOD THINGS ARE WILD AND FREE spanned his torso. “Interesting tattoo,” I said, curious about this one. He stood there naked in front of me and nodded. “Yeah. Wild and free. Come here.” Pulling me to him, he kissed me and I felt my body come alive again. I slid my hands over his body, amazed at how soft his skin was over all that hard muscle. Stefan crouched down, and I looked down as he leaned in toward my body. His fingers spread me

wide open, sending strings of desire racing through me. Then the tip of his tongue lightly touched my pussy, and my legs went weak. As if he knew what effect he had on me, he slid his palms up the back of my thighs just as he pressed his tongue flat to my clit, his piercing creating sensations in me I’d never felt before. “Oh…my…God…” Before I could finish my sentence, he hooked my leg over his shoulder to gain even better access to the most sensitive parts of me and went down on me better than any man had in my life. Maybe it was the way that metal stud in his tongue slid over my clit, each time sending a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. Maybe it was how he seemed entirely focused on me, his tongue devoted to getting me off. Whatever it was that he did, I came harder than I’d ever come before, barely able to stand from the quaking in my thighs. He sat back, his mouth still wet with my juices, and looked up at me with an expression of pure satisfaction, as if I’d just given him the best oral sex of his life. Licking his lips, he smiled. “Mmmm. Nice.” I wanted to speak—to say something sexy or snappy—but I couldn’t. My brain seemed to have gone blank the moment he buried his face in my pussy, and it hadn’t come back online yet. He stood up and in a commanding voice ordered, “Face that way, Shay.” Turning me around so my back faced him, he pulled my hair off to one side and whispered in my ear, “I want you on your hands and knees, princess.” His voice was raw, like every syllable came straight from somewhere dark and deep inside him. This Stefan made me want him more than I thought I ever could, and my body reacted to his every word and touch as if he’d already mastered me. “In the bedroom,” I squeaked out as I began walking toward my room, needing to buy time before he overwhelmed me and I lost control. He caught me just as I crawled onto the bed, pressing his hands onto my hips and pulling me back toward him until his cock nudged my ass. His lips dragged along my neck to my collarbone, and he whispered against my skin, “I’ve fucking wanted you since the first time I saw you.” I closed my eyes, loving the feel of his mouth on me as he spoke those words. It meant nothing that I’d always believed he’d wanted me, but to hear him say that now excited me more than I wanted to admit. Thrusting his hips forward, he skimmed the head of his cock through my pussy to my clit, sending a rush of pleasure racing through my body. “Oh, God…” I dropped down onto my forearms and pushed back against him, wanting him inside me so bad. “That’s it, baby. Let me into that pretty cunt.” He backed away from me, and then I felt the head of his cock at my entrance for the merest moment before he thrust his hips forward and buried himself inside me. His fingers dug into my hips as he retreated from my body only to thrust forward again. My body felt filled like never before, as if every time I’d ever been with a man had been a dress rehearsal for this. I gripped the sheets in my hands, and he began fucking me better than I’d ever been fucked in my life. Every stroke into me, every deep moan that escaped from him inched me closer to that moment when I’d come. I wanted to feel that release he gave me more than anything else in the world at that moment. “God, you feel so fucking good—” His sentence trailed off on a groan, and he slid his hand up my back to fist my hair. “Up on your hands, baby.” I obeyed his command, never even thinking of not doing what he wanted. He felt so good inside me, his thick cock sliding over raw nerve endings and making each come alive with every push into me. No man had ever made me want to submit like he did. Stefan leaned forward and buried himself to the hilt inside me. Next to my ear, he whispered, “Show

me that fire I saw that first day, Shay.” He wanted fire, but I wanted to let him control this tonight. To make me forget Elliot and the mess I’d made of that relationship. To not be the one with all the power for once. But I could do fire too. I moved forward and felt him leave my body. Climbing onto his lap, I slid my wet pussy over his cock and grinned. “You want fire, Stefan?” “I want whatever you’re bringing, baby.” His hands gripped my hips as I raised up over his cock, and slowly I lowered myself onto him, loving the feeling of him filling me. “Why did we turn around? I liked it the other way.” I raised up on my knees again, leaving just the head of his cock just inside me to tease him. “I like to see the man I’m having sex with.” Stefan pushed me hard down onto him, and his cock hit a spot deep inside me that made my eyes roll back into my head. God, he felt so good! “You want to see me? Then look at me while I fuck you, princess.” I opened my eyes as he slid his fingers over my cheeks and into my hair, gripping it tightly in his hands. His dark gaze fixed on me, he looked like hunger personified. He was need, desire, and appetite all right there in front of me. “Ride my cock. I want to watch you ride me until there’s nothing left inside either of us.” I did as he commanded, riding him with an abandon that I didn’t even know existed inside me. My body bucked against his, and his invaded mine over and over as we searched for that one moment where we weren’t boss and bartender, player and challenger, and even man and woman. Staring into one another’s eyes, we searched for that one sweet place and time where we were nothing more than just Stefan and Shay. I wanted to kiss him, to plunder that mouth that had infuriated me so many times. He may have wanted me from the moment we met, but my want had been something entirely different. More often than not, the man had enraged me to my very being, yet there I was on his lap, his cock deep inside me as he edged me inch by inch to my release, and I couldn’t imagine any other place on Earth that I’d want to be right then. He held tight to my hair to keep me looking at him, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I saw something even more in them than the Stefan I’d come to like. In those dark brown eyes focused entirely on me, I saw a look that made me think he was so much more than what I’d believed. I cradled his face and kissed him, wanting to feel him against every part of me. His lips fed on mine as mine did on his, as eager to taste me as I was to taste him. His tongue with its metal piercing slid over mine, exciting me as the memory of what it felt like gliding over my needy clit danced through my mind. My body ached—for good and for bad—with every time I slid him inside me. Legs spread as wide as I could to take all of him, my hips hurt but the tender ache inside me overruled any idea of stopping. Each stroke of his cock into me brought me closer to release, but if I was to be truthful, I didn’t want this to end. Of all the incarnations of Stefan I’d seen, I preferred this one best. For all his cockiness and swagger, he knew how to handle a woman and give her pleasure. I’d doubted that before this, but no more. Now I just wanted more—more of him, more of the feelings his body created in mine. More. He slid his hands down my back and cupped my ass, kneading the skin slowly with his fingers. In my ear, he whispered, “Let me feel you come apart, Shay.” I was so close. Just once more to feel him fill me, the head of his cock touching that one spot as our bodies pressed together. Then I felt it begin. A tiny spark of release that grew from somewhere deep inside that uncoiled

slowly until every inch of my body felt like my nerve endings were wide open and more alive than they’d ever been before. I clung to him as my orgasm finally tore through me, and I rode him until the final quiver inside me had subsided. Stefan came just as I finished, his cock pulsing against my tender walls as he groaned my name low and deep into my mouth and tugged roughly on my hair. He was power and passion, and as I watched him come, I couldn’t help understand why women found him so sexy. Everything about him signaled his pleasure at satisfying me, a very attractive trait I hadn’t seen before now. We sat there quietly, our bodies still entangled as the haze of sex gradually faded away. Part of me wanted to say something, almost as if I should be sexier after all that we’d done, but another part enjoyed the silence of being in someone’s arms and sharing nothing more than my body with him. Stefan sat with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open, as if caught between the same two choices. Like most men, he said nothing for a long time, preferring silence over most anything else. I could appreciate that more often than other women could. There was something about not having to speak that gave off a sense of power. Finally, he whispered, “If I don’t get a drink, I’m going to turn to dust right here in your bed.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Leave it to him to break the moment with something cute. After giving him a tiny kiss on his parched lips, I smiled. “You’re going to make me get off you for a drink?” “I’d say I could walk to the faucet still inside you, but I’m not sure my legs could handle it. That was some marathon session.” He kissed me and pressed his forehead against mine. “No kidding. I think I’m already beginning to turn here.” Rolling my eyes, I lifted myself off him and walked toward the kitchen, asking, “Water or something a bit stronger?” “Water’s usually what I drink after workouts.” I grabbed him a glass of iced water and returned to the bedroom to find him still buck naked and sitting on the bed, the only change the lack of condom on his still hard cock. Why I had thought he’d quickly dress and down his drink before bolting out the door I didn’t know, but he appeared perfectly at home sitting there waiting for me. “A workout, huh? I didn’t think I was that hard on you,” I teased as I handed him the glass. He gulped down the water like a man who been stranded in the desert and placed the glass on the nightstand. Turning back toward me, he leaned back on his elbows and grinned. “I knew you’d be like that. It’s good. Nothing worse than a woman who just lays there and doesn’t participate.” And there right in front of me he morphed into the Stefan who’d gotten under my skin from the first moment I met him. “Participate? Maybe that’s a reflection of the partner, not the woman.” He reached out and snaked his arm around my waist to pull me toward him. “Maybe, but I don’t think so. Whatever. You don’t have to worry about that. You’re definitely a partner worthy of a workout.” “You’re pretty cocky, aren’t you?” I teased, secretly loving the feel of his body against mine and wishing he wouldn’t leave as soon as I feared he would. He looked down toward where our bodies touched and back up at me. “Shouldn’t I be? I thought you liked the way I am.” Arching one eyebrow, I pretended to be skeptical. “I didn’t say I didn’t.” “Good. We need to do this again.” “Really? Need to?” I mocked. “Yeah. Good sex is a need thing.”

Smiling, I said, “Well, when you put it that way…” Stefan nuzzled my neck and kissed me on the sensitive area just under my ear. “Good. Then we’ll definitely do this again.” He leaned back with a satisfied look in his eye. Tapping him on the nose, I continued my teasing. “For a player, you’re not very non-committal. I thought players hit it and left. You’re all about making plans for next time.” “Who told you I was a player?” he asked with a genuine look of confusion in his eyes, as if he thought he wasn’t one. “Everyone. I mean, it’s no secret, Stefan.” He shook his head. “Like I told you at the club, you think you know all about me, but you don’t. I might just surprise you, Shay Callahan.” I climbed off him and slipped a t-shirt over my head. “I look forward to it, Stefan March. Few people in this world surprise me, so it would be a nice change.” Leaning back on his elbows, he nodded. “That sounds like a challenge I’ll accept. I like surprising people who don’t believe I have it in me.” Was he trying to charm me? Whatever he was doing, it was working, and I couldn’t have that. Regardless of who he was there lying naked on my bed looking more incredible than a man should joking around with me, Stefan was a player, pure and simple. Forgetting that would only lead to me getting hurt, and I couldn’t let that happen. “Well, Mr. Surprise, I need to get some sleep or I’ll never get back to that place I work with the boss who cracks the whip, so you better get going.” Stefan sat up and stood in front of me wearing a playful expression. “Crack the whip? That sounds kinky.” “Yeah, yeah. Let’s find your clothes so you don’t have to ride that bike of yours buck naked all the way to your place.” I turned to head out to the living room and he followed me. Scooping up his clothes, I had to smile. The man had already surprised me more than I thought possible. Not that I wanted him to know, though. “Shay, are you trying to get rid of me?” I shook my head. “No. I just figured since this is just a hook up, you wouldn’t be staying the night. Player, remember?” He took the clothes from me and began to dress. “Yeah, but I’m getting a bum’s rush vibe here. Did you and your boyfriend really break up?” His feelings were hurt. Damn, I couldn’t figure this guy out. He definitely was a player, yet he seemed bothered by me not wanting to have him spend the night. It was odd player behavior, but what did I know? No matter what Carrie believed, I wasn’t a player and my experiences with them had been limited, at best, but none had ever wanted to do the cuddling after sex thing. “Yes, we did, Stefan. I wouldn’t do that to someone. If I’m with a man, then I’m only with him. I don’t cheat. It’s something I can’t abide.” “Okay. Good. I mean, I don’t want to have to fend off an attack from that skinny guy. It wouldn’t be hard, but putting the beatdown on your poor boyfriend would really kill the good time we had, don’t you think?” Chuckling, I brushed a piece of lint off his shirt. “There’s no boyfriend, so no need to kill our good time. But it’s time for me to get to sleep. I had a good time.” In another classically un-playerlike move, he leaned down and kissed me long and deep, like we were separating for ages and he needed to remember the feel of my lips on his. “See you at work, princess.”

And then he was gone and I was left trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Chapter Eleven

Stefan STRETCHING MY ARMS ABOVE MY head, I closed my eyes and thought about how good the night before had felt, loving the memory of Shay completely giving herself to me. Rarely had I enjoyed fucking a woman as much as I did her. I had a feeling she’d be wild, but I never imagined she’d be so…so able to make me want her. Not that I’d gone over to the dark side like Cash had with Olivia, all lovey dovey and ready to race down the aisle. Fuck that! I was a confirmed bachelor committed only to the single life, and that wouldn’t be changing any time soon. I had the world by the tail. Why would I give that up? I did enjoy myself, though, and I planned to get back inside Shay’s tight body as soon as possible. Now that she’d warmed up to me, it would be nothing but smooth sailing from here on out. A knock at my office door tore me from my daydreaming, and before I could even yell to tell the person to come in, Kane appeared in my doorway with a look on his face that told me he knew. I didn’t know how, but he knew. “What can I do for you today, Kane?” I asked wearing a grin I couldn’t wipe from my face. He studied me for a long moment and closed the door behind him. Arching an eyebrow, he stared and said, “Just wondering how that bet of ours is going.” I laughed. “You know what, big brother? Today’s your unlucky day, or my lucky day, depending on how you look at it. I was with her last night.” His steely blue eyes narrowed. “No way. I can’t believe that woman would ever go with the likes of you. She’s too good for you.” “Believe whatever you want. Even after you pulled that shit by inviting her upstairs to check out your area, I had her and it was fucking fantastic!” I bragged. “And now, it’s just a matter of time, Kane. I got the girl, and I’m getting your car and your place in this club. I’d say that’s a complete win.” My half-brother stood stunned, his shoulders hunching slightly under the weight of my gloating. But he wasn’t giving up yet. “You know, Stefan, it’s way easier to get a woman to sleep with you than it is to get her to fall in love with you. Revel in whatever last night was all you want. You’re still miles away from winning.” “What last night was, Kane, was just some of the best sex I’ve ever had with a woman. Face it. It’s just a matter of time. The woman is primed. I win.” “Not so fast, Stefan. The hard part is only beginning, and you only have a couple months.” I couldn’t believe this guy. What the hell? I’d bedded Shay and all he wanted to talk about were hurdles, as if I hadn’t overcome the most important one. “Maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. I slept with her last night. As in we had great sex and she’s going to want more and I’m going to want to give it to her.” “Sex and love aren’t the same thing, baby brother. Our father was the poster child for that truth. No, getting a woman to sleep with you is easy. You’re going to have to work to get Shay to fall for you, and I still am willing to bet you don’t have what it takes.” Suddenly, my day wasn’t looking as rosy as before he’d showed up. He was definitely harshing my post sexually triumphant buzz. I didn’t need to be reminded of the fact that a woman like Shay would be

hard to break. I’d recognized that fact within thirty seconds of meeting her. But fuck, he at least could give me some credit for getting her into bed. My head began to throb, which I suspected was all part of Kane’s intention in coming into my office in the first place. Taking a deep breath, I worked to keep myself calm. I didn’t need to let myself get goaded into some asinine argument with him today. “Whatever, Kane. Just remember today as the day I told you this is all but won. She’ll fall into line like all other women do and that’s that. So go back upstairs to your miserable, lonely existence and know that soon I’m going to be in that shithole you call an office surrounded by gorgeous dancers and you’ll be down here dealing with bartenders, liquor orders, and all that comes with running the bar.” My insults didn’t faze him in the least. Grinning like some cat who’d just eaten a canary, he leveled his gaze on me and said, “It’s not over till the fat lady sings.” Turning on his heels, he headed out of my office, leaving me with the hard truth I hadn’t wanted to admit to him. Shay likely wasn’t going to fall into line like every other woman I’d ever been with. Those women would have lined up to fall in love with me. Some even had. Shay Callahan wasn’t those women, though. Kane wasn’t entirely wrong. She was going to take some work. But I hadn’t met a woman I couldn’t get before in my life, and I didn’t plan to make her the first one. I might need to bring in reinforcements, though. This had “needs a woman’s touch” written all over it. Olivia. Who better than my soon-to-be sister-in-law to help me get the girl and win my bet with Kane? I beat a path over to her office and found her sitting behind her desk with her nose to the grindstone. Typical Olivia. Thankfully, Cash’s fiancée had liked me from the moment she met me, unlike Shay, so I figured she’d have some good ideas how to seduce her since my tried-and-true method likely wouldn’t work this time. “Hey, Olivia! What’s up?” I asked as I sat down in a seat in front of her desk. She looked up and gave me one of her terrific warm Olivia smiles that lit up her dark brown eyes. “Not much. What’s going on, Stefan?” “I’m not bothering you, am I? If I am, I can come back later.” My polite offer was met with a suspicious look. “No, we’re good. What’s up?” “I want your advice on something.” I figured it was best to try to ease into this conversation. Olivia and I were more than friendly, but it wasn’t every day your future brother-in-law with a man whore reputation came into your office to ask how to get a girl. She closed her laptop and sat back in her chair. “My advice? Okay. What’s up?” Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and began. “Well…how should I put this?” Suddenly, easing into things seemed all wrong. Best to just jump into the deep end. “I need your advice on how to get a woman to fall for me.” Olivia’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. Looking around like she was being punked, she shook her head. “What?” “You heard right. I want to get a girl, but I’m pretty sure none of my tricks are going to work on this one. So I thought I’d ask you since she’s sort of like you and you know what you’d like a guy to do. Well, if you weren’t with Cash. You know.” Nice. Two minutes in and I’d already devolved into some rambling teenage boy. All I needed was a big zit on the end of my nose to make this whole thing complete. “You want me to tell you how to seduce a woman? Stefan, is this some kind of joke? I doubt anything I could tell you would be more effective than what you already do. Cash tells me everything, and I know

how successful you are with women.” “Yeah, yeah. I know. I am. But this one’s not like those women. That’s why I want your help.” Still confused, she seemed to consider what I’d just said and then she got a faraway look in her eyes. “Hmmm…so are you asking me what I’d like a man to do to seduce me?” I nodded. “Yeah. What would a guy have to do to get you to want to be with him?” “Well, when Cash and I began to get together, he—” “No, no,” I said quickly, cutting her off before she gave me any details of how my brother had gotten her to fall for him. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to look at you the same way again if I knew what moves Cash put on you. Let’s just stay away from that, okay?” Olivia giggled at my discomfort. “Okay. So you want to know what someone like me would like in general from a man to make me fall for him. Well, he’d have to be a good man first and foremost.” A good man was not who I was. “A good man, huh? I think I’m already out of the running.” She reached across her desk to give me a sympathetic squeeze on my wrist. “That’s not true, Stefan. You’re not a bad man. You just do things good men don’t usually do. There’s a difference.” “Oh yeah? So if I didn’t do those things I might have a chance?” “Um…maybe. I can tell you that a good man would treat a woman with respect. I’m not saying you don’t do that with the women you date, but maybe you could be less about sex and more about what interests her.” All I knew about what interested Shay was that none of it interested me. She was a science geek. I didn’t give a damn about science. “I don’t think we like anything the same.” “Stefan, is she a bartender?” “Yeah. Don’t tell Cash. He’ll have a stroke or something and ruin your whole wedding.” Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled. “I won’t. He’ll be up all night pacing about future lawsuits, and I don’t want to see him upset like that. But you have that in common with her. You both work here. Maybe you can start there.” “Maybe. It’s not much to go on. Any other advice?” “Stefan, how well do you know this woman?” “Pretty well. Well, not really.” I hesitated a moment and then confessed, “We’ve already slept together.” For the second time in our talk, Olivia’s eyes flew open. “Oh. Okay. Uhh…do you think you might have gotten to know her before you slept with her? Not to sound all old fashioned or anything, but it would have made getting her to fall for you a little easier.” “I guess, but that’s all water under the bridge now. So you think I should just talk to her about the club?” My question made a grimace come over her face for a moment, but then her expression softened. “I don’t think that’s the way to go, Stefan. Think of it this way. If you really want her to like you, she has to see the person I see. What she sees now is the player. You have to make her see the fun guy who made me smile when your brothers intimidated me, the guy who jokes around and drives Cash and Kane crazy. Then she’ll see the real you.” “Okay. This is good. I can use that. A few jokes, some sweet talk, and I should be in like Flynn. Thanks, Olivia!” I rose to leave, but she stopped me. “Wait a second! That’s not exactly what I meant. You need to be genuine.”

“Yeah, I’ll be genuine. You know me,” I said with a smile as I headed out into the club. So I needed to be funny and genuine. No problem. I had this under control. Kane’s Mustang and his part of the club were all but mine.

* MY PLAN COULDN’T HAVE BEEN simpler. I’d see Shay at work that night, turn on the genuine and funny charm, and let nature take its course. I ran home for a quick shower right after six to make sure I looked as good as I could. I guessed Shay was more of a button down shirt kind of girl, so I broke out my favorite black dress shirt and checked out my look in the mirror. A little too close to Cash’s style for my taste, but I wasn’t trying to seduce me. I got back to the club in time to see Shay walk in with Lola, ruining any chance I had for flirting with her. Why was Lo here? Tonight was her night off. “Hey, Lo! Come here!” I yelled as they headed toward the bar. She came running, as she always did when I called, a look of worry on her face. “What’s up, Stefan?” “What are you doing here? You’re not scheduled.” Lola looked up at me with fear in her eyes. “Is it okay? Kerry called and said she had an emergency and asked if I’d take her shift tonight.” “Yeah. I guess. I just didn’t have you scheduled. Now I’m going to have to rearrange everything.” She smiled and gave the answer I knew she would. “Oh, that’s okay, Stefan. Just put me anywhere. I know it’s not my night, so wherever you were going to put Kerry is good. I’m just here to help out.” “Thanks, Lo. That helps.” Flinging her arms around me, she hugged me tight and whispered against me, “You’re the best, Stefan.” The familiar scent of her flowery perfume drifted up from where her head pressed against my chest, and I remembered what Kane had said about keeping her happy. The thing with Lola was going to be a problem. Nothing I couldn’t overcome, but a problem nonetheless. As for tonight, I could separate her and Shay, but I’d promised Shay I wouldn’t put Lola at the back bar anymore and I didn’t want to put her there. But she was filling in for Kerry, so I had a little more wiggle room. I gently pushed Lo away and forced myself to smile at her. “Time for work.” With just a nod, she walked away toward Shay to await the nightly meeting. As I stood there quickly growing frustrated by the whole situation, I saw Kane stroll down from his perch on the top floor and walk right up to Shay. What the fuck was he doing? I watched as he stood way too close and laughed just a little too much at whatever the hell she was saying. When he touched her shoulder, a clear sign he was up to no good, I walked over to break up their little whatever it was. Deep in conversation, they didn’t even notice me standing there for nearly a minute. “Hey, Kane. I need to talk to you,” I finally said, interrupting them. He turned to look at me, still wearing a silly grin that seemed to have been charming Shay just a moment earlier. “Look who it is! Stefan, what’s up, baby brother?” “I love that you call him baby brother,” Shay cooed in a voice that I never heard when she spoke to me. “That’s too cute.” Kane made some joke about me as a baby, ridiculous since he didn’t meet me until I was nearly twenty, before he flashed Shay another smile and finally tore himself away to follow me. We got to my office, and I barely closed the door before I barked, “What the fuck was that all about?”

“What?” “Don’t give me what. What are you doing with Shay?” “Nothing, Stefan. I just saw her standing there and stopped to talk.” “Why didn’t you talk to Lola then?” He chuckled. “I did. It’s just that Shay seemed more interested in talking back to me.” My blood pressure steadily rose until my temples throbbed. “I know what you’re doing. You think I’m going to win our bet, so you’re throwing up roadblocks to make sure I don’t. This is bullshit, Kane. Step back out of my way.” “Or what? Planning on taking a shot at me, Stef?” he asked, intentionally egging me on. I stepped closer to him. “You may be bigger than me, but you’ve been asking for a beatdown for a while, big brother.” He looked down at me with amusement in his eyes that only pissed me off more. “So you’re going to fight me over her now? What happened to this just being about winning?” “It is about winning, Kane, and you’re fucking with me because you don’t want to give up what you bet. This is bullshit!” “Don’t get excited, Stefan. I don’t plan on doing anything with Shay. Now if she likes me, there’s nothing I can do about that.” Before I could answer, he walked out leaving me standing there feeling like a jackass. Fucking Kane! If he wanted to play hardball, I could do the same. And I had an ace up my sleeve he didn’t—I’d already slept with her. That was important. He could smile and flirt all he wanted. I’d gotten there first and that counted for something. I headed back out to the floor for the bartenders’ meeting with what to do about Lola and Kane roiling around in my mind. There was only one other place in the club that she could make anywhere close to the money she made at the front bar. The fourth floor station stayed pretty low key, but the tips the bartender got up there sometimes bested what the front bartenders earned. I never sent her there because I’d always considered her too good for that, but if it made getting closer to Shay possible, it had to be done. What I’d do with Kane was a different story. As I caught a glimpse of him walking back up toward his floor, I wished my father hadn’t liked women as much as he did. At least with Cash I knew I could trust him. “Okay, listen up!” I called out to my bartenders for the night. “I know last night was incredible, but we’re done with that Seventies shit and back to modern day. Shay is at the front bar tonight with Kat, and Gabe and Mika are at the back bar. Everyone else is where they usually are, either waiting tables down here or on the upper floors. Lola, I want you to take the fourth floor bar.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shay give me a look of disapproval. Everyone broke up and went to their assigned places for the night, including her, and I headed to the front bar to make sure she knew I didn’t break my word. Shay crouched down behind the bar, so I leaned over and quietly said, “I saw that look you gave me. It’s not even Lo’s scheduled night.” She looked up and gave me a little smile. “It’s not a problem for me. As long as Lola is happy, Stefan, I’m happy.” “Well, you seemed pretty hot about it when I was at your house that day.” “I didn’t think it was right to choose Mika over her. You didn’t do that tonight. She says the fourth floor is a pretty plum assignment.” Shay stood up and began to rummage around with the glasses beneath the bar. She smelled like she had the night before, minus the alcohol, and I inhaled deeply as my mind replayed how she’d tasted when

I’d kissed her. “I had a good time last night.” Her green eyes flashed a scolding look as her face remained placid. “Shhh. I don’t need everyone in the club knowing we were together, Stefan.” “I’m the boss, Shay. I can be with whoever I want.” “Whomever, and that’s fine but I can’t. I don’t need everyone talking about me and making my life miserable.” She may have been saying that, but I saw in her eyes she wanted me as much as I wanted her. Quietly, I said, “First slow part of the night, come see me in my office. Kat can handle the bar for a little while.” “Your office?” she asked with her eyebrows raised, like she was surprised. I winked and leaned back away from her. “Yeah. First slow time you get.” As if the gods were smiling down on me, the crowds at Club X were thin so by one I shot Shay a knowing look to let her know she could follow me. Kat could handle the few members still left milling around the front bar, so I headed to my office. By ten after one, I was still sitting alone wondering if there’d be some massive influx of members suddenly, but when I opened my office door, there were still just those few men standing at the bar with Kat but Shay was nowhere to be found. I scanned the room for her and then I saw her coming down the stairs. Why the fuck did she go up there?

Chapter Twelve

Shay I SAW STEFAN GLARING AT me as I stepped off the last stair onto the club floor and knew he’d grown inpatient. Not that I wanted to hang out in his office and play doctor with him. The night before had been off the charts phenomenal. All those months with Elliot and I’d thought he was great in bed, but one night with Stefan March and every inch of my body craved him already. My head needed to be my ruler, not the area between my legs. That would only get me into places I couldn’t afford to be in. Stefan was like a rich, decadent dessert—incredibly desirable yet very bad for you. Once, maybe twice, you could indulge, but any more than that and nothing good could come from it. But I couldn’t avoid him. He was my boss, first and foremost, and if I was honest, I’d grown to like him, despite myself. From the look on his face, though, he likely believed I was playing games with him by going up to see Lola instead of running to his office the first chance I got. He turned away and closed the door even as I walked toward him. Not good. I grabbed for the doorknob but stopped myself from walking in uninvited, knocking instead since it felt like that eagerness he’d shown me earlier had changed to something else. He barked for me to come in, and I opened the door to see Stefan sitting behind his desk wearing a tight-lipped smile. “Hey, what’s up?” I asked tentatively as I leaned back against the door to close it, sensing an iciness in his dark eyes. “Not much. What did you go upstairs for?” Definitely chilly, but why did my going upstairs to see Lola bother him? “I wanted to see how Lola was doing. The fourth floor isn’t too bad. She’s making a killing up there tonight since we’ve got next to no one down here.” “Yeah, not too bad,” he repeated quietly, his mood improving as he said the words. “Lola’s got a fan up there too. Some guy who’s got deep pockets, if her tips are any indication,” I added, hoping as I talked that he’d go back to his old, playful self. “Yeah? Good. That would be good for her,” he said with a smile. Slowly, I moved toward his desk, glad to see his mood change for the better. “So what did you want to see me about, bossman?” That old sparkle reappeared in his eyes, and a very Stefan grin lit up his face. “Bossman? Are we back to where we were that first day we met?” I stopped a few feet away from him and shrugged. “I don’t know. You tell me.” He opened his legs slightly and crooked his finger to beckon me. “Come here.” Stepping in between his thighs, I looked down at him and felt my body come alive, betraying all my intentions to keep aloof. The man had that effect on me. Stefan leaned forward and slid his hands down the backs of my legs, making them go weak from his touch. Against my ever-lessening will, they buckled slightly and I pitched forward toward him, crashing into his muscular chest. “Oh, sorry,” I said as I half-heartedly tried to push myself off him. The truth was I liked how he felt against me and didn’t want to have to pretend to be disinterested, but I knew who he was and who I was. Stefan was a player, and I was a woman who was chasing a dream that didn’t include any man right now.

His arms snaked around my waist and held me to him. “No need to be sorry. I like a woman who goes after what she wants.” I rolled my eyes at his ego. “I wasn’t trying to jump your bones, Stefan. I fell into you.” Winking, he smiled. “Sure. I’d think after last night we’d be past this kind of thing.” “What are you talking about? What kind of thing?” He licked his lips so seductively I almost forgot what I’d just asked him. But then he opened his mouth and that cocky Stefan I’d met that first day I’d come to Club X came out. “This shy girl thing you’re doing. No need for that, Shay. Not after what we did last night.” Something inside my brain exploded and I pushed against him with all my might to get back on my feet. His expression registered his surprise, and I said, “So you think that because I had one night with the spectacular Stefan March that I’m ready to be the flavor of the week?” Even though I’d shocked him by not falling at his feet and worshipping him, he reached out to pull me back to him. “Still got that fire, huh? Good. I like that.” I couldn’t help but laugh. He thought he had me all figured out. One night with him and I’d be putty in his hands. Typical man. I’d all but reconsidered my plan to play this player, but now as I watched him stare up at me with a look full of expectation, I decided it was game on. Leaning down, I brushed my lips against his and whispered, “Oh, you like my fire, baby?” My hand slid down the front of his jeans that covered his quickly hardening cock. “How hot would it be if I dropped to my knees and sucked your cock right here, Stefan? Would you like that?” He moaned something about wanting that more than I could imagine and a surge of power raced through me. There he sat, his head back and his fingers fumbling with his fly, thinking that I’d be like every other female who’d passed through this office. It was time for this man whore to learn a lesson. I lowered myself to the floor and kneeled in front of him. Slowly, I ran my palms up his thighs until my thumbs could stroke the base of his cock through his jeans. I applied pressure to where I knew would excite him most and moaned, “Close your eyes and imagine my lips wrapped around your thick cock, taking all that I can handle. You want that, don’t you?” “Fuck, yes…enough talk, Shay,” he said in a low voice full of need. I ran my hand up the front of his pants and stood. Looking down at him, I couldn’t help like how this made me feel. For a moment, I wondered how many woman had actually said no to him, and I doubted the number would take more than one hand. But he’d met his match this time. “Time for me to get back to work. See you when you get out there, bossman,” I chirped playfully as I spun on my heels and headed toward the door. From behind me, I heard Stefan say, “What? Where are you going?” I stopped as I reached the door and turned around to see him, his face the picture of confusion and his deep brown eyes wide in frustration. A twinge of regret pinched at me when I looked into those eyes, but I couldn’t forget who he was simply in a moment of weakness. “I need to get back to work. Kat can’t be expected to man the front bar all by herself.” “Don’t worry about Kat. You have time. Come here.” “Not tonight, Stefan. Another night, maybe.” And with that, I turned around and walked out of his office, leaving him hard as a rock. As I walked back to the front bar, the thought crossed my mind that he’d just find someone else to relieve the frustration I’d caused in him. That the idea of him with someone else made my stomach knot up irritated me. Why should I care who he slept with?

* A KNOCK AT MY FRONT door jarred me out of an incredibly sexy dream about Stefan, and I shuffled my still sleepy self to answer it. I opened the door and saw Carrie looking at me the way she always did when she disapproved of my look. “Going with the homeless look these days? Sweatpants, Shay? Who the hell wears sweatpants to bed?” “People who want to be comfortable. What are you doing here at the crack of dawn waking me up?” I asked as she pushed past me and sat down on the couch. “The crack of dawn isn’t eleven o’clock in the morning, Shay. Even people who work in bars are up before eleven. And we had a breakfast date this morning, remember?” “Oh yeah,” I lied. “Give me a few minutes. I’ll get ready.” I slouched away to my room to try to bring myself back to life, but Carrie followed me and threw herself onto my bed. Folding her arms behind her head, she studied me as I peeled off my sweatpants and shirt. “So how’s the Club X gig going?” “Good. Making lots of money, which is good.” “Well, at least it’s all good. Now tell me all the details, Miss I-Seem-To-Have-Forgotten-Who-MyBest-Friend-Is. I know you have something to tell me. It’s written all over your face.” I snuck a look at my expression in the mirror and instantly saw what she saw. I was wearing the selfsatisfied look of the victorious. Turning toward her, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me as I moved toward the bathroom. “Let’s just say you’re looking at the first woman to ever serve up the just desserts to Stefan March.” “Shay! You get back here right now! I want details!” she yelled after me as I stepped into the shower. She could wait. It would make the telling of the story all the better. I turned on the water and closed my eyes, not even trying to stop the smile that spread across my face. As I lathered up the shampoo in my hair, I heard on the other side of the shower curtain, “Spill your guts, girl. What happened with your boss?” With suds rolling down the sides of my head, I peeked out and saw her standing there in my steamy bathroom. “Privacy mean anything to you?” “Not when it comes to hot talk. Now spill it,” she ordered. “Let me rinse, for God’s sake!” I said as I dipped my head under the water. “Fine, but I’m not leaving this bathroom, so you might as well just get on with it.” I rinsed the shampoo and conditioner out of my hair and gave myself a quick soapdown before I turned off the water and prepared to tell Carrie all the sexy details of my time with Stefan. Pulling back the shower curtain, I stuck my hand out for a towel. “I don’t kiss and tell without drying off first.” She threw a bath towel at my head and sat down on the lid of the toilet. “Let’s go. I’m dying here. Did you sleep with him or what?” “You know, when you diminish all my hard work down to just sex, you really hurt me, Carrie.” Raising her eyebrows in faux disbelief, she grinned. “Just sex? I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this was an achievement like climbing Everest.” I finished drying myself off and headed back into the bedroom. “You have no appreciation for my hard work. None at all.” Carrie followed me and sat back down on the bed. “You know, Shay, as much as I love acting like some puppy dog and following you around, could you please begin this story before you start blow drying your hair or giving yourself a full facial?”

I stopped and took a deep breath, trying to stifle a laugh at Carrie’s impatience. Finally, when I knew I’d pushed her far enough, I slipped into a pair of shorts and a tank top, sat down with her on the bed, and began to towel dry my hair. “Okay, I think I’m ready now.” “Finally!” “So, let me start at the beginning. Do you remember that first day when I told you that Stefan March was a player and nothing else?” Carrie rolled her eyes. “I think we can skip the details from way back when and get to the meat of this story. Did you sleep with him or not?” “Yes.” “And?” I didn’t answer immediately as I considered how I’d want to report Stefan’s sexual prowess, and Carrie continued, “Players are always good, so I don’t know why I even asked for more details. Let’s cut to the chase. What happened after you slept together?” “He wants to sleep with me again.” “Of course. But other than that, what’s going on between you and the master player?” “He’s getting played.” Carrie’s jaw dropped. When she finally could speak again, she asked, “You really went through with that?” Her surprise bothered me. “You didn’t think I would?” “Well, to be honest, no. You may be a player in your own right, but you’re no match for a man whose whole existence is based on playing women.” “I can’t believe your lack of faith in my abilities. Some friend you are.” Her dark eyes stared into mine, telling me she was serious. “Shay, this has disaster written all over it. I’m warning you now, girlfriend. Stop this or you’re going to get hurt. Stefan March isn’t Elliot, and this isn’t going to end up with you barely missing him like you did with that boy-toy.” The mention of Elliot made me feel like a real shit. I hadn’t even missed him that much, and I hadn’t really mourned the loss of the relationship before sleeping with Stefan. “Still being a harpy about poor Elliot, huh?” I asked, intentionally deflecting, but Carrie saw right through my attempt. “Don’t try to change the subject. I’m worried about you. One of the women who comes into the boutique knew an awful lot about Stefan March, and she told me he’s a player like no other she’s ever seen.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Something about a woman telling Carrie all about Stefan as she shopped for high-end accessories was funny. “That you asked about him is touching, honey, but your concern is unnecessary. It’s all good fun for both of us—well, more for me since he’s not getting what he wants right now.” “From you or anyone?” Carrie asked. I felt my expression stiffen as the thought of Stefan with someone else sent a twinge of jealousy through my chest. “Me.” “I saw that, Shay. You flinched when I mentioned him with someone else. This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re going to get hurt with this one.” Waving away her concerns, I tossed the damp towel onto the bed and moved over toward my dresser to finish getting ready. “Nonsense. All this is between him and me is sex. Period. Trust me. No one can keep her heart closed off like I can. Just ask poor Elliot.” In the mirror, I saw Carrie furrow her brow. “Indeed, but poor Elliot wasn’t a major league player. He was simply a horny kid you took a shining to. This one knows his way around women.”

I finished coating my eyelashes with mascara and swiped cranberry gloss over my lips, smacking them together to spread it around. “I know you’re trying to help, but there’s no need. It’s all good.” She said nothing for a long while as I put on the rest of my makeup. When she finally spoke, her words were far more serious than I was prepared to hear. “I’m curious, Shay. Why the need to play this guy? I mean, so he came off like a 1950s Cro-Magnon the first day you met. So what? Why are you hell bent on this? You’re not a vicious person, and if you do play him and he falls for you, you’re going to hurt yet another guy.” Ouch. I turned around to face her judgment, far too defensive about what I was doing with Stefan. “Another guy? You make me sound like a black widow. And why do you care what some player ends up feeling anyway? Stefan March sees women as playthings, at best, and at worst, sperm receptacles. I would think you and all of womankind would be cheering me on.” “I’m all for showing men we deserve better, Shay. Sign me up for that crusade. I’ll wear the uniform. But leading someone on, even a player, seems to make us even worse than men.” Leave it to Carrie to drive the point home. I hated when she hit the nail on the head like that. I wasn’t worse than Stefan March. He went through women like water. I’d never been that way with men. That I’d never found the right guy and settled down wasn’t because I was some vicious creature out to break the hearts of all men who came into contact with me. It had never happened because I had goals and becoming someone’s girlfriend and someday his wife would derail those goals. Wanting to succeed in life shouldn’t make me the bad guy, but at that moment, I was feeling that way as Carrie looked at me as if I was no better than some callous player. “So what are you saying?” “I’m saying don’t do this. Someone’s going to get hurt. You had your fun, but if you don’t want to be with him again, tell him and be done with it. You already can say you got the best of him. The player wanted a second round with you. I doubt many females who’ve been with him can say that.” I saw in her eyes there would be no changing her mind on this, so I did my best nonchalant shrug and smiled. “Okay, I hear you. I guess I thought I was striking a blow for all women, but I see I’m acting no better than all those players we’ve hated all these years. I won’t go through with it.” Carrie studied me for a long moment to judge my sincerity and then nodded her approval. “It’s the right thing to do. Somebody was going to get hurt, and that’s never good.” “You’re right. I know. Let’s get a bite to eat and forget all about this. My treat.” “Your treat? You must be making a killing at that club, Shay. I thought you were saving up for your trip.” “I am, but money’s been good at this job. I can afford the nicer things in life now, like taking my best friend out for brunch,” I said with a chuckle. “The nicer things, huh? Well, this girl’s never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so let’s get this show on the road.” “Sounds good!” As I followed her out my front door, I pushed down the tiny pang of guilt inside me from lying to my best friend. No matter how right she may be, I’d gone too far into this thing with Stefan to turn back now.

Chapter Thirteen

Stefan STANDING HUNCHED OVER THE BACK bar, I hoped to avoid Kane and his entirely unamusing way of making my day even shittier than it already was. My older half-brother had a knack for ruining even my best moods, and in my present state, all it would take was one of those goddamned smirks he liked to give and I’d want to smack the hell out of him. That I wouldn’t simply because I knew it would result in even more pain than I already felt from the worst hangover ever experienced by mankind didn’t change the fact that I’d want to. I’d hoped a night of heavy drinking and fucking would take the edge off Shay’s rejection, but even though the sex with Kat and Jana had been more than good, as it always was when the three of us got together, and the tequila had numbed me enough to forget how it felt being left sitting there with my fucking rock hard dick hanging out, when I woke up this morning all I knew was I wanted Shay and for some reason, she didn’t want me. Or she was playing some game. That idea made me feel a little better since games I could win. Whether it was high school football where I excelled as the star quarterback or poker where I could beat the best players Tampa could throw at me, I could play games. Nobody played games like I could, so if she wanted to play, I was up to it. “Examining the top of the bar for any particular reason, Stefan?” And there went my fucking day. Kane, who I swore had been put on this earth for the single reason of bringing me misery, stood behind me ready with his snarky bullshit even though he likely knew I was hung way over. “Go away. It’s too early for your crap,” I said as I attempted to lift my head without feeling like it was going to explode all over the back bar. “Just wondering how you’re handling all those balls you have in the air,” he said in that tone that told me he thought I wasn’t handling anything at all. I groaned and slowly turned around to see him smiling down at me. “Don’t worry about my balls, Kane. Concentrate on your own balls, which I suspect are a nasty shade of blue by now.” Kane threw his head back and laughed way too loudly for me in my state. “You never fail to go for the sex joke. Trust me. My balls are fine. Thanks for caring. It’s your balls and the people you share them with that’s the concern of all of us here, Stef. Are you still managing Lola while you try to get back into Shay’s pants? Any luck with that, by the way?” He knew I’d struck out with Shay the night before, even though I doubted she’d said anything to him about it. Probably watched my office door from the second floor like some kind of fucking stalker. “I told you I’d handle Lola. As for Shay, it’s in the bag, big brother. Just sit back and watch how a master works.” He pursed his lips and smacked them loudly. “In the bag, huh? I didn’t get that last night.” I walked around him toward the front bar, wishing he’d just leave me alone with my booming headache. He followed and after I downed my fifth glass of water since I woke up, I felt slightly better. Good enough to spar with him, at least. “You said yourself that she would take something more. Isn’t that how you put it? Well, that means

she’s going to take a little more time than my usuals. Don’t worry, Kane. I’ll win our bet and then you’ll finally see how to handle a woman so if you ever get another one to spend any time with you, you’ll know what to do.” “Stefan, I’m more concerned that you know how to juggle all these women. If it was just Shay, I’d be far less interested in your nightly activities. It’s not, though. Lola needs to be taken care of.” “I told you I’d handle it, so I’ll handle it! Get off my back about it, for fuck’s sake!” Kane narrowed his eyes to slits and stared at me. “Don’t mess this up, Stefan. We can’t carry your ass forever. It’s time you carried your weight around here. I will say this, though. At least we haven’t been sued in the last couple months.” Before I could tell him to fuck off, he headed off in the direction of Cash’s office, likely to discuss at length how little they thought of my abilities in running this place and how big a pain in the ass I was to both of them. Whatever. They could both fuck off. I knew how to handle my business. When the time came, I’d manage Lola like I managed everything else in this fucking place. Until then, my focus would continue to be on Shay and whatever game she was playing. What was she up to? Our time together had been hot, so it couldn’t be she didn’t want a repeat. She may be that science nerd everywhere else, but around me she couldn’t hide the sexy, even if she wanted to. There was no way she didn’t have a good time at her apartment. So why did she give me the rebuff last night in my office? Pouring myself another glass of water, I trudged back to the scene of her rejection and sat down behind my desk to try to get some work done. Cash’s repeated demands for my monthlies played in my head, but as much as I wanted to get them done just to get him off my back, I couldn’t concentrate. In part, it was the hangover, but even more it was Shay. Someone knocked on my office door, and I silently promised God I’d give up anything he demanded if only he could make it not be Kane. Quietly, I called out, “Come!” and waited to see if my prayer had been answered. The door opened slowly and through the crack Olivia’s red hair peeked through. Thank you, God. Olivia I could handle. In fact, she might be just the person I needed at that moment. I hadn’t made any headway on my Shay problem, so maybe she could point me in the right direction. “Stefan, do you have a minute? Cash wanted me to bring you up to speed on next week’s party. Angie has made at least a half dozen changes since I sent you the details, so I thought I’d come over and go over them with you.” “Sure. Just speak quietly because you’re competing with the effects of last night’s tequila binge, okay?” Olivia gave me that knowing look she often had when I said things like that to her. While I didn’t think she’d ever been much of a partier—she was far too much like Cash to ever be a wild girl—I did get the sense that she knew all about that life. Maybe she’d had a boyfriend like me at one point? “Another wild night, Stefan? Your brother told me he thought you were settling down a little. I guess that was just wishful thinking?” she asked as she sat down in front of my desk. “Settling down? Why would he think that?” She shrugged and smiled. “I think maybe Kane said something to him about it. And what you said to me the other day led me to believe…” “Ugh. Kane isn’t someone you or Cash should believe about anything concerning me. As far as settling down goes, I’m happy the way things are, so no, I’m not, girl or no girl.”

“Okay. I’m sure they didn’t mean any harm. It’s just that you’re so different from them I think sometimes they don’t understand you.” “They want me to be just like them. Well, I’m not and I’m never going to be.” She rifled through the papers on her lap. “I think that’s part of it. I knew from the first time I met you that you were different from them.” Looking up, she said, “You’ve got what my mother calls Youngest Child Syndrome.” Youngest Child Syndrome sounded like something that came from a nuclear disaster. That couldn’t be good. “What’s that?” “The youngest child is always a little wilder, a little more carefree than his or her older siblings. By the time parents get to the last child, they’re more relaxed and easygoing about things.” “Are you trying to say my parents had lower expectations for me than they did for Cash? The heir and the spare?” I asked, the defensiveness creeping into my voice even as I tried to hide it. Olivia quickly shook her head. “No, no. Nothing like that. It’s just that younger siblings are more carefree. Your brother is by his nature serious, Stefan. You know that. Do you know that the first time I met your mother that day we were all out at her house for Labor Day I instantly understood why you are like you are? You’re just like her. I imagine Cash is just like your father.” I thought back to the last few years of my father’s life and had to agree. “He is. They named him right. Cassian March IV. He’s just like my father. A hardass until his last breath.” “See? You can’t blame him for being so serious. He comes by it naturally.” “And Kane? What’s the explanation for him? He’s not the youngest or the oldest.” A sly grin brightened up her face. “Kane’s the outsider here, so it’s not surprising he’s like he is. He didn’t grow up a March.” “More like a pain in my ass. Outsider? He owns just as much of this club as Cash and I do.” “I know, but he’s had to deal with being your brother without being a member of your family all his life. That was likely very hard for him.” I couldn’t bring myself to feel sorry for Kane at that moment. Not after he’d intentionally set out to piss me off as soon as he saw me today. “I wouldn’t worry about Kane. He and Cash are more alike than Cash is with his own brother, so I’m more the outsider than he ever could be.” Olivia’s brown eyes filled with a look of sympathy. “Maybe they’re jealous of you, Stefan. Serious people like the three of us see people like you as having a much easier time of it. You never seem to worry about anything. We’d like to be like that, but we can’t be. It’s not in our natures.” I liked the idea of Cash and Kane jealous of me. They rode me so much about everything from how I ran the bar to who I slept with that I’d convinced myself they practically hated me. “All you have to do is have a good time in life. No regrets. No worries. If what I want doesn’t come to me, there’s something just as good coming right after it. That’s how I live.” A chuckle escaped from her lips, and she shook her head. “If only it was that easy, Stefan. That kind of thing only works for people like you, though.” As we talked over the details for the party, that last thing she said repeated in my head over and over. That kind of thing only works for people like you, though. Maybe she was right about that. Maybe that’s why my brothers seemed to resent me so often. It didn’t make dealing with their shit any easier, but the thought of them seeing me as some golden boy did make me feel better. Olivia left and slowly my hangover eased up, so by dinnertime I looked forward to the night in front of me. Shay would be working again, and I’d have another chance to work my magic with her. I heard another knock on my door and prepared myself for Cash or Kane to walk through after my talk

with Olivia, but instead Lola appeared in front of me. Lately, she caused me almost as much grief as my half-brother. I knew I had to keep her happy, and I didn’t really have a problem with her as one of my workers. She knew how to handle the bar, and the members loved her. The problem occurred when what she wanted from me came into play. Ever since Kane told me I had to sleep with her to make sure we kept on that scumbag Shank’s good side, all the things I liked about her seemed to just disappear. Dressed in her usual—the tiniest skirt that barely covered her ass and a Club X t-shirt a size too small so her fake tits nearly busted through the thin fabric—she looked like she was trying too hard. Why I’d never noticed before I had no idea, but now, I couldn’t imagine wanting her ever again. Twirling the ends of her blond hair around her forefinger, she batted her eyes at me and smiled. “Hey, Stefan. I just wanted to stop in and see how you were doing.” I knew what she was wondering about. Why hadn’t I called her into my office for our usual fuck sessions? “Hey, Lo. I’m good. Same old, same old. You know how it is.” She bit her lower lip either to signal her nervousness or to look sexy and said quietly, “Are you busy? Do you want me to come back later tonight?” “No. I’m fine. Do you need anything for the bar or have a problem with the schedule?” Her expression told me she was confused. I’d never acted so businesslike with her. From the first night, I’d always been all about getting in her pants. Lola took a few steps toward my desk and stopped. Looking down toward her fingers fidgeting near where her black skirt hit the tops of her thighs, she frowned and asked in a voice barely above a whisper, “Is something wrong, Stefan? Did I do something…?” She let her sentence fade away before she mentioned us together. “No. You’re golden out there. I don’t have a better bartender than you, Lo.” She smiled and looked up at me. “Even Shay? She’s good, don’t you think?” “Yeah, she’s good too, but even she knows you’re the best out there.” As I finished saying the last word, Lola’s smile fell away, and I watched her shoulders sag slightly. “Oh. Thanks. I try.” Instantly, I felt like I should change the topic. “You’re here early. Want to get a jump on the night?” “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I think you answered my question even before I asked it.” I knew where this was going, but I didn’t help her. It was shitty of me, but I let her stand there wearing her heart on her sleeve and did nothing to make her feel better. Kane and Cash may have thought I had to sleep with her to protect us, but at that moment, I didn’t want to follow their rules. I’d sleep with who I fucking wanted, not who they deemed necessary. She turned to leave but stopped just as she reached the door. “Stefan, why don’t you want to do anything with me anymore?” Surprised at her directness, I knew by the hurt in her voice that I’d underestimated Lola’s feelings for me. I searched for a way to tell her I didn’t want to sleep with her anymore, but I couldn’t be that cruel. A lie was the only way out, and I had to play this right. Standing, I moved from behind my desk and walked over to her. She looked up at me with those big eyes full of fear at what I might say. Kane’s words echoed in my mind, so I constructed a lie vague enough to sound truthful but still nice enough not to hurt her. Hopefully, that would be enough to keep her father happy. “Lo, you know how it is with us. On and off and all that. You know I still like you, don’t you?” She reached out and ran her fingertips down my forearm as she stared up at me. A look of relief came over her, and she said, “I thought maybe you met someone and that’s why you never call for me to come in

here anymore. But then I saw Kat and Jana last night…” “You know me, Lo. If anyone knows how I am, it’s you. I’m not the ‘meet someone’ kind of guy.” “Oh. You don’t think you’ll ever settle down?” I smiled and winked at her. “No way. I like being me too much.” “Yeah, that’s what I was telling Shay the other night. No one could blame you for being like you are, Stefan. You have everything going for you. Settling down would be like denying yourself things you shouldn’t have to.” Curious why she’d have to defend me to Shay, I didn’t stop myself from asking, “Why? Did she say something?” Lola moved into defending her new friend. “Oh, no. It wasn’t anything bad, Stefan. She’s just not used to how you are is all. I told her someone like you who’s been blessed with all the good things you have going for you shouldn’t be expected to settle down with just one woman.” “Shay thought I should?” She paused for a moment and said, “She doesn’t understand you like I do. She likes her men to be the kind to settle down. She’d never see what I tried to explain to her. To Shay, even a man with looks and money should want only one woman.” “Well, then thank God we don’t like each other, huh? Sounds like we’d both be miserable.” “Shay’s nice, but she’s not like us, Stefan. We live this life because we love it. She’s only working here on her way to bigger and better things. She’s good at it, but she doesn’t love it like we do.” Lola left my office placated by my vague lie, but I couldn’t help but be bothered by what she said about Shay. Were Lola and I really that much alike and so different from her? Was that why Shay seemed to be able to brush me off so easily after a night of great sex? The idea that I’d finally meet a woman I couldn’t have had always been impossible to me. Now it seemed entirely likely that Shay Callahan was that woman.

Chapter Fourteen

Shay EVEN THOUGH I’D GIVEN CARRIE my solemn promise that I’d put any thoughts of going further with my plan to play Stefan March completely out of my mind, I couldn’t stop myself. Part of me had some strange need to prove to him that he’d finally met a woman in this world who could stop him in his tracks and make him want to give up his player ways. Another part, though, craved being with him again. I had to admit that part confused me. I didn’t know how, but Stefan had wormed his way into my thoughts to the point that I liked being around him, and sleeping with him had only intensified those feelings. That both parts were entirely incompatible wasn’t lost on me either. Sometimes when he was nearby, I had to remind myself that all of this was just a game because he’d do something cute or look at me with those deep brown eyes and all I could think of was when we’d be alone again. Hiding the fact that the man had a serious effect on me became a full time job. I didn’t want him to know how I felt, but keeping it from Lola and the rest of the Club X staff was just as important. I didn’t need to create some huge issue at my job and leave hurt feelings all over the place. My skill at concealing my desire for Stefan wasn’t very impressive, if Lola’s sideways glances and repeated questions were any indication. At first, I just brushed her off with an eye roll or noncommittal shrug when she noticed me staring across the room at him. When she began asking what I thought of Stefan, I’d initially found it pretty easy to rage on about his male chauvinist pig tendencies. I wasn’t lying. Between his borderline sexual harassment of every single female who worked under him and the fact that I knew he’d slept with more than a few of my coworkers, sneering at the thought that he was anything more than just a player was almost second nature to me. But then he showed up at my apartment to ask me to return to the job after that Mika mess, full of apologies and willing to give Lola her rightful place among the staff, and it began to be harder to see him in such an entirely negative light. He’d turned into someone I could like and respect, at least a little, and once those feelings weaved their way into my brain, lying to Lola grew harder and harder. Not that she wasn’t lying to me too. I had no doubt that she and Stefan had something between them, whether it was in the past or still going on. That was probably why she was so curious about my feelings about him. I walked into the club with all of this on my mind and wondering what kind of reception I’d get from Stefan after leaving him high and dry the night before. Most men would be complete and utter bastards after being teased and dropped like that, so I prepared myself for an even angrier version of the Stefan I’d met that first day. How I’d explain his sudden change toward me to Lola when she was standing right beside me I had no idea. I found her behind the front bar getting ready for the club to open and steeled my expression to hide what I expected to come from our boss. She greeted me with her usual sweet smile, and I noticed her outfit looked even tinier than usual. “Hey, Shay! How’s it going?” she chirped. “Pretty good. What’s new with you?” For a moment, a strange look crossed her face but then it was gone and she was back to her usual happy self. “Not much. Just getting ready for the night. I’m thinking Stefan will have the two of us up here

again, like usual. It should be a good crowd tonight, so we’ll make a killing.” “That’s what I’m here for. Bring on the money!” I said with a chuckle. Lola nodded. “How long do you plan on staying, Shay? I know you said you were going somewhere, but when?” Only once before had she expressed any interest in anything about me other than my work with her, so instantly my suspicions were raised. Something in her eyes told me this newfound curiosity about my life outside of Club X had more to do with Stefan than truly wanting to know more about me. “I’ll be here until the end of the semester, so once the new year rolls around, I’ll be gone.” “That’s only a few months,” she said in a faraway voice like she was thinking about something other than how long we had to work together. “Yep. You only get a couple months more of me and then I’m Copenhagen bound.” Lola was quiet for a few minutes while we busied ourselves behind the bar until she asked, “Does Stefan know?” “That I’m only here until the end of the year?” “Yeah.” I remembered back to my interview with Cassian and Kane. I’d definitely informed them of my leaving in January, but since Stefan hadn’t showed up that day, he’d never heard from me what my plans were. I had to assume, though, that one of his brothers had told him. “I’ve never said anything about it to him, but I’m sure he knows. I made sure to mention it when I interviewed for the job.” Lola smiled fakely and nodded again. “Oh. Well, I’m sure he knows, but maybe you should mention it to him, just in case. I’d hate to see the club suffer because he didn’t hire someone to replace you.” I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something about her tone of voice made me think she was counting down the days until I was no longer around. A stab of hurt hit me at the thought that Lola had turned from someone I’d considered a friend to just another coworker like Mika. “I guess,” I said, feeling slightly shell shocked at her behavior toward me. We went back to getting the bar ready, and I tried to make myself feel better by remembering that if it weren’t for work, someone like Lola and I would never have even spoken to one another. We had nothing but the club in common. It didn’t make her change toward me any easier to take. Silently, I resigned myself to feeling defensive and let the walls I often kept around me rise until I could think it all didn’t hurt. From behind me, I heard Lola finally say, “I think Stefan will miss having you around, Shay.” I turned to look at her, unsure of where she was going with all of this but pretty fed up with her sneaky attempt to find out if I was competition for him. “I’m sure he will, Lola. We work well together, he likes to put the two of us here on the front bar because he never has to worry, and the few times he and I have spoken alone, he seems to have enjoyed himself.” Her eyes opened wide in surprise at my comment about us being alone. “I didn’t realize you two were close like that. You know, to have spoken alone. You don’t really have anything in common.” I couldn’t help but smile. She was fishing to find out if Stefan and I had slept together. Maybe I should have played her game and led her to believe there was some big thing between us, but at that moment I was too hurt by her treating me like I was Mika to play along. “We aren’t. He’s my boss and I’m his employee. That’s it.” She looked like she wanted to pump me for more information about how close Stefan and I were, but I was done. Turning on my heels, I walked out from behind the bar and headed for the ladies’ room to be

alone. Before I could get there, though, Stefan caught me. Grabbing my arm, he stopped me and flashed me a smile. “Hey, what’s up?” Suddenly, a flash of anger spiked inside me. First Mika and now Lola had given me a hard time because of this guy. And I hadn’t even gotten much but a night of great sex for my trouble. “I want to be up on the fourth floor tonight. I need a break from the front bar.” A look of surprise settled into Stefan’s features, and then as if what I’d said triggered something in him, his face darkened. “Why? What’s up there that you want?” Was everyone in this place crazy? What the hell did he mean what did I want up there? “Money? You said yourself that the fourth floor bar often does as well as the front bar.” “Is that it?” I stared at him in confusion and shook my head. “What’s with you? I just want to be away from the front bar, okay? You know I can handle it. Lola told me it’s definitely a one-person job.” “Is there some problem with Lola? If so, I can send her upstairs again,” he offered, as if he was worried about me. Maybe he wanted me to experience job satisfaction. I couldn’t tell what the hell was up with him or Lola. “No. I really want to be upstairs tonight.” “I don’t know, Shay. I like having you down here at the front bar. It’s good for business.” I didn’t want to spend my night fielding sly questions from Lola about him. Now that I didn’t see her as a friend, I wanted to be as far away as possible from her. “Stefan, I’m asking you as an employee who’s always done what you asked. Please let me man the fourth floor bar tonight. It would mean a lot if you’d be cool about this.” I wasn’t sure what part of what I said convinced him, but any qualms he had about me heading up to the fourth floor seemed to vanish. “Okay, Shay. You got the fourth floor. I’ll find someone else for the front bar with Lola. Any suggestions?” Shaking my head, I moved toward the ladies’ room. “Nope. Whoever you choose.” I DIDN’T STICK AROUND FOR the bartenders’ meeting since I knew where I was stationed for the night, so after I’d hid out in a bathroom stall for a half hour telling myself I was stupid for feeling bad about Lola turning on me, I quietly headed up to the fourth floor bar to get it ready for the night. Since Stefan hadn’t assigned anyone before I asked, the area had to be prepped from top to bottom, but at least that would keep my mind occupied instead of having it wander to why suddenly the only real friend I had in the bar had turned me into her competition. Unlike the bars on the main floor, the fourth floor bar was dark and secluded. Located at the far end of the floor away from the stairs, it was technically above where the front bar was located down on the first floor but it couldn’t have been more different. Nestled in a corner just past the fantasy rooms, it was dimly lit and without any reflective surfaces on the wall behind it. No mirror, no glass at all. I imagined that had something to do with the purpose of this floor. Who wanted to stare at themselves while they grabbed a drink after getting freaky in a fantasy room? I got to work in my new secluded area and became so involved with making sure it was ready when members arrived that I didn’t notice Kane leaning against the bar as I crouched down to clean a sticky spot on the floor. “Hey, what are you doing up here? Stefan exile you for something?” he asked in that husky voice so unique to him. Looking up, I smiled and stood to my full height. “No, I asked to be put up here tonight. I needed a

break from downstairs and heard this bar was as good as the front bar.” Kane leaned his body forward and rested his forearms on the top of the bar. “That’s what I hear too. You should do well tonight. Tuesdays are pretty busy, and every room on this floor is booked all night.” “Sounds good to me. I’m all about the money for the short time I’m here.” His crystal blue eyes flashed a look of recognition. “That’s right. We only have you for a few months more before you leave us. I’m sure Stefan will miss you. I know he relies on you and Lola to take care of things downstairs.” “He’ll be fine without me, I’m sure. I bet bartenders come and go here, so he’ll just replace me with someone else.” Kane’s usually serious expression softened, and a slow grin spread across his lips. “He does go through them pretty fast, I admit, but it’s rare when he gets one of your caliber.” I couldn’t decide if I should interpret his words to refer to me as a bartender or me as a woman. Kane likely didn’t know his brother and I had slept together—or maybe he did. The vision of Stefan bragging about his latest conquest the morning after having sex with me marched through my mind, and it didn’t take much to convince me that it had happened very much like that. “Yeah, well, I’m sure I’ll be forgotten as soon as I leave, Kane.” He stared directly into my eyes for a long moment and then in low voice said, “Then he’s a bigger fool than I thought he was.” I stood there surprised by Kane’s words, and as if my reaction made him uncomfortable, he leaned back away from me and added, “But that wouldn’t surprise me. Stefan’s always had a streak of stupid in him.” Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable. Kane had never unnerved me before, but as we stood there in the dim light and not more than a foot away from one another, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of power coming from him that I’d never recognized before. Maybe it was his size or maybe it was his deep voice, but something made me feel small next to him at that moment. A nervous giggle escaped from my throat as I tried to understand what I was feeling. “Well, you know what they say. There’s always one in the family.” “And we have Stefan,” he said with a laugh. A few members began filtering in from the stairs and in a second Kane changed back to that friendly guy he always was with me. “I’m just up one floor if you need anything, Shay. Don’t hesitate to ask.” “Thanks, Kane. I might since this is my first real experience with your part of the club.” “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. There’s always security on each floor, but I’ll put Jason here tonight. Members don’t even think about messing with him.” “That’s nice of you. Thanks! I’m sure I’ll be fine then.” He backed away down the hall, the whole time wearing a sly smile. “Come up and see me. We can talk more about my stupid younger brother or other more interesting topics.” I didn’t know if I’d take him up on his offer, but I had a feeling hanging out with Kane would be nothing like spending time with Stefan. As different as night and day, the two men intrigued me each in their own way. Whereas Stefan was all fun and good times, Kane always seemed to be reserved and mysterious, even when he was smiling and making jokes. The serious side of me found that so appealing. His younger brother might act like the consummate player, but Kane appeared almost disinterested in women. I didn’t think he had a girlfriend or liked men, but I’d never seen him spend any time even talking to women other than me. If I was a real player like Carrie claimed, I’d have gone after Kane. For as much as Stefan seemed to be the perpetual bachelor, his older brother might have been one of the most aloof men I’d ever encountered, and I had an inkling he was friendlier with me than most people. A player would set her sights on that prize.

I left my thoughts on the two available Club X brothers behind as a crowd of people began to form in front of my bar. For five hours I waited on members as they prepared to enter their fantasy rooms and after they’d left them, loving how different this area was from downstairs. It had a sexy feel the front bar lacked, and the members were even friendlier here. I couldn’t believe Lola hadn’t mentioned how much better this was and the money I made even rivaled the night of the private party when she and I had made a killing. She probably didn’t like it as much as the front bar because Stefan was nowhere to be found. I’d never had any real interest in the fantasy part of Club X, but now that I stood right in the middle of it all, I couldn’t help but be curious. A few of the girls had talked about wanting to take advantage of this area of the club, but even making the money I did at private parties and here on the fourth floor I couldn’t afford a membership to my workplace or what I imagined a fantasy room cost. During lulls, my mind traveled back to my first conversation with Stefan that day I’d interviewed for the bartender job and his offer of a membership. Maybe I could take advantage of Kane’s part of the club, but what fantasy would I want to live out? By the end of the night, I’d set myself to figuring out what my fantasy was and I’d convinced myself I deserved the title of Most Boring Woman On Earth. Over and over, I’d wracked my brain to think of what I could ask for in a fantasy room, and each time I came up with something, it was either incredibly mundane or ridiculous. I doubted Kane and his people could help me secure a position at a good university. Obviously, whatever I thought I was, first I was an academic—a boring academic. God, I was the queen of dull! Then my mind would swing to an idea so wild that my cheeks would flush with heat. Kane’s offer for me to come see him replayed in my mind, weaving itself into my thoughts on possible fantasies. Did he ever partake of the good times in his part of the club, I wondered. What would he be like alone with me in a room devoted to sexual pleasure? I’d heard rumors from some of the other bartenders that unlike Cassian and Stefan, he had a dark side. I didn’t see it, though. I could imagine him being super Alpha and possessive, maybe even domineering, but he worked too hard to be restrained for me to believe when it came down to it he was a sexual freak. But then again, maybe that’s why he was so restrained all the time. “You look a million miles away. Everything okay up here?” I turned from the spot on the bar that I’d been cleaning as I considered what to do in a fantasy room and there stood Stefan right in front of me. Flustered that he’d caught me daydreaming, I hurriedly threw the rag aside and pressed a smile onto my lips. “Just lost in doing my job, I guess. What’s up? Why are you up here?” “I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay. Members sometimes get a little wild up in this part of the club. Everything good?” “Oh yeah. Making lots in tips from happy people either dying to get into their rooms or even happier people coming out after their time is up.” “I meant to come up earlier but things got pretty busy downstairs. Lola said she loved the money up here but prefers the front bar down there.” The mention of Lola’s name made me bristle with anger, and I shrugged in the hopes that my lack of interest would make him change the subject. “I bet. You’re not up here, so of course she wouldn’t like this bar more. I like it just as well as the front bar, but then again, I don’t need to have the approval of my boss with every damn drink I pour.” Okay, that came out a little bitchier than I’d intended. I saw by the look on Stefan’s face that my rudeness had surprised him too. He settled his dark gaze on me and in a nicer tone than I think he’d ever used on me, he asked, “Something wrong? Did Lola do something?”

I shook my head and waved him off. “No, it’s nothing. Thanks for asking, but I’m good. I’m just going to get things cleaned up here and head home.” He nodded and then took a deep breath in, releasing it slowly. I thought for a moment he would reprimand me for not getting along with yet another person I worked with, but instead he leaned over the bar until his face was no more than a few inches away from mine and looked up at me with those deep brown eyes that at that moment nearly made me melt. “I thought maybe we should talk about the other night.” “I think firing me because I wouldn’t have sex with you in your office is grounds for a lawsuit, Stefan,” I said half-joking. I knew what night he was referring to. “Not that night, Shay.” I looked away, unable to handle that doe-eyed puppy dog look he was using on me. Jesus, he could be sweet when he wanted to be. “I know. I was kidding. Sort of.” “Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll come back up so we can talk.” I didn’t want to talk about that night or anything else with Stefan. Something about Lola turning on me made me feel vulnerable. I nodded to let him know I’d stay, but as soon as he walked away, I hurried to finish up my work and get the hell out of there. Being alone with him to talk about when we had sex wasn’t a good thing when I was so weak.

Chapter Fifteen

Stefan ONLY LOLA STILL REMAINED DOWNSTAIRS by the time I got back, and there was no way I wanted to spend any more time talking to her when I had Shay waiting for me on the fourth floor. Before I could slip into my office unseen, though, she followed me in, closing the door behind her. “What’s up, Lo? I’m in a little bit of a hurry, so if it’s not serious, can we leave this for tomorrow?” She stared up at me with big blue eyes full of disappointment. “I wanted to know if…maybe if you weren’t busy tonight, we could get together?” “I can’t tonight. Sorry. I’ve got something to take care of upstairs.” I knew she remembered Shay had worked the fourth floor bar, and her look hardened as the thought that I was going up to see her settled into her mind. “What? The club’s closed.” “Kane. He’s got a mess up there he needs my help with.” “Oh. Would you like my help?” she asked softly but there was a hint of suspicion in her voice. She didn’t believe me. I walked toward her to escort her out of my office. Opening the door, I shook my head. “No, it’s nothing I’d want you involved in. We got it.” With my hand on her lower back, I guided her out into the club as she asked if I’d walk her out to her car like I always did. Jesus, this woman was a worse cockblock than Kane. Just as I was about to tell her I couldn’t, we ran into my half-brother standing there watching as I gave Lola the bum’s rush. Quickly, I devised a plan to push her off on him. “I can’t, but Kane can, right?” Kane looked at me like I’d just committed some heinous crime, and Lola shook her head, confused. “But I thought you had to help him upstairs with some problem?” “I do, but while I’m upstairs taking care of things, he can walk you out and then come up to help me.” Turning to look at Kane, I hoped he’d be cool about things like a brother should be. “Sound good?” For once, Kane didn’t do his best dick impression and said nothing to blow my cover. “No problem, Lola. I can walk you out. Then I’ll come back and help Stefan since there’s no way he’ll be able to handle things upstairs without my help.” “Okay, thank you,” Lola said, giving Kane one of her cute smiles that made me think maybe she could fall for him and all my problems would be solved. “Great! See you later, Lo!” I watched Kane walk her out of the club and bolted toward the stairs to get up to Shay but remembered I hadn’t grabbed a condom from my desk in all the nonsense with Lola. Fuck! Quickly, I ran into my office and found a pack where I kept them in my office drawer, but before I could get upstairs, Kane stopped me by blocking my way out the door. “What the fuck are you thinking, Stefan?” I was thinking that Shay was waiting for me and between Lola and Kane, I couldn’t decide who the bigger killjoy was. “You’re in the way. Can we talk about whatever you want to talk about tomorrow?” “You know what I want to talk about. Blowing Lola off isn’t going to work. We need to be on her and Shank’s good side, and treating her like you just did isn’t going to make that happen.” All the happiness I’d felt after talking to Shay had all but ebbed away by now, leaving me cranky and

horny and stuck talking to Kane, the last person on Earth I wanted to hang out with tonight. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was keeping me talking to him there on purpose to ruin any chance I had with Shay. “Kane, I told you the other day. I’m not going to be responsible for Lo’s happiness, no matter what you think. If you want her to make sure Shank continues to help us, you cozy up to her. She seems to like you, so it wouldn’t be too hard, assuming you still know what to do with your dick.” My ass busting didn’t go over well, and he leaned in toward me to crowd my space until his face was just inches away from mine. “You made this fucking mess. Now you’re responsible for it. Maybe if you weren’t always thinking with your cock you wouldn’t have to do things with it you don’t like.” The look in his blue eyes made me think he had plans to fight me right there. Jesus! Why the fuck did this guy always seem to be on my ass about something. “Back the fuck up, Kane.” He didn’t budge, so I leaned in and glared at him. A few seconds of that told me he wasn’t going to give in, so I resorted to my foolproof tactic. I lied. “Fine. I’ll make it up to Lo tomorrow, okay? Now get the hell out of my way!” He gave me one final nasty glare and backed up to let me past, but not before he threatened me one last time. “Stefan, I’m not fucking around with you. Cash may have a soft spot for you, but I don’t have those feelings. We need Shank, and for good or for bad, you’re the one who has to make sure his daughter is happy. You fuck this up, and I’ll fuck you up, and Cash won’t be able to stop me this time.” “Fine.” I left him standing there outside my office and tore up the stairs hoping that he and Lola hadn’t totally ruined any chance I had to hang out with Shay again. Hitting the fourth floor, I looked down the hallway and didn’t see her near the bar. Disgusted, I caught my breath and leaned against the wall, silently cursing both Lola and Kane. Fucking A! A noise from one of the fantasy rooms caught my attention, and I walked toward it hoping I didn’t find some orgy. Seeing that would be like the universe rubbing my face in shit. I peeked my head in and there stood Shay looking around like she was in awe of the place. “I thought you left,” I said quietly as I closed the door behind me. “I was just taking a look around. I didn’t realize I was in here that long.” “You mean long enough to still be here when I returned?” She gave me a tiny smile and looked away. “I don’t know what to say, Stefan. I did have a good time.” Stepping toward her, I slid my arm around her waist and gently pulled her toward me. “And we can have a good time again. There’s nothing standing in our way, unless your boyfriend is back in the picture.” She looked up at me and I saw questioning in her green eyes. “He’s not.” “So what’s the problem? I can feel you want me like I want you, Shay.” “That’s the problem, Stefan. I do. But everyone else in this place does too, and I don’t like feeling like I’m one in a cast of thousands.” “You’re not.” Even though I’d been with Kat and Jana the night she left me hanging, as I stood there with Shay’s condemnation of my lifestyle staring up at me, I didn’t want anyone else. “Stefan, we had fun, but I can’t be who I’d need to be with someone like you. I just can’t.” “What do you mean? You don’t have to be anybody but you.” Shaking her head, she frowned. “That’s not true. I’m not like Lola or Mika or any of the other women you get together with here. That’s not the kind of woman I am. Every one of them seems to be okay with being just another notch in your belt. I’m not.” “You’re not like them, Shay. I know that.”

“So maybe it’s best if we just leave whatever there is between the two of us where it was the other night at my apartment. Maybe we’re just too different to be anything but a one-time thing, Stefan.” Shay turned to leave, but I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her. “Maybe I don’t want to leave it there. Maybe we’re not so different, after all. As Lola reminded me earlier tonight, you’re leaving in a few months. Why can’t we just enjoy one another until then?” “Because of what you just said. Lola. And Mika. And Kat. And Jana. I may not be the poster child for monogamy. Trust me, I’m not. But that’s just too many people I don’t really even like in my personal life.” I didn’t know why, but the thought of any of them did nothing for me now that I’d been with Shay. And the idea that my ever being with them could mean she might not want me bothered me more than even I understood. This had all started out as a bet between me and Kane, but it had gone way past that for me now. “They don’t mean anything to me. I already decided not to be with Lola and Mika anymore, and that thing with Kat and Jana the other night…” I stopped talking before I said something that would only prove to Shay I wasn’t the type of guy she’d want, but I saw by the look on her face that it didn’t matter. “We come from two different worlds, Stefan. You’re a player, and as much as some people think I am, the reality is that as soon as I saw even just a few of the women I was lumped in with, I didn’t want to be there. That’s never going to change either.” I didn’t want to hear that. Never before had I not been able to change a woman’s mind, and there was no way in hell Shay Callahan was going to be the first. We may have been as different as night and day, but that was no reason we couldn’t get together. “We both work in this club. That’s something we have in common, right?” Her green eyes stared up at me, unconvinced. “I don’t think that’s enough to base having sex with a person on.” Maybe it was my ego, or maybe it was the bet with Kane. Or maybe it was the feeling of emptiness when I thought of not ever being with her again, but I had to do something to convince her to at least give us a chance. “What if we start over?” “Stefan, we already started over, remember? I don’t think pretending not to know one another again is going to work.” She began to back away from me, but I grabbed hold of her wrist. “Wait. What if we started over as friends?” Shay’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. I had to admit even I was stunned I’d said that word. I’d never been friends with a female. To be honest, I couldn’t even imagine how to do that, but if being friends with Shay was the way to have a chance to be with her, then friends it was. “Do you really think we could be friends, Stefan? You’re a man whore and I’m a female. That doesn’t sound like a recipe for success.” “Sure. Why not?” She seemed to think about my challenge and smiled. “One of the most important parts of friendship is honesty. Can you handle that?” “Absolutely.” Looking around, she nodded. “I bet you’ve been in one of these rooms hundreds of times.” The first test of our friendship. She did like to go big. “You’ll probably be surprised to hear I haven’t been in one of these more than a handful of times.” “Really?” “Yeah. It’s not really my thing. I have my office downstairs, Shay.” There was a long pause and then she said, “I’m guessing I shouldn’t ask how many times you’ve used

your office to be with someone, huh?” “Probably not.” Even as she continued to smile up at me, I saw the distance in her eyes. She was pulling away emotionally as the idea of me with all those other women registered in her brain. Never before in my life had I regretted what I was, but at that moment, the way she looked at me made me wish I hadn’t been that man whore. “It’s late, Stefan. I think I better go.” “Don’t. Come with me. I know a beach we can go to and hang out.” Shay’s face twisted into a grimace. “You don’t seem to understand how to be friends with a female, do you?” “I didn’t say we can go and fuck on the beach. Just hang out. That’s it. Get to know each other. Isn’t that what friends do?” “What beach are you talking about?” “Just say yes.” She took a deep breath in and sighed. “Don’t make me regret this, okay?” Taking a step toward the door, I held out my hand to take hers. “You’re going to love this place. We’ll be the only two people on the beach.” “How do you know?” I tugged her toward me as we walked out into the hallway. “It’s a private beach—we call it March Beach.” Shay looked surprised. “You have your own beach? Do Cassian and Kane live there too?” “No, none of us live there now. It’s where Cash and I grew up. My mother still lives in the house, but she’s in Italy until next week. It’ll just be you and me.” We walked down the stairs as I told Shay about how great the house was, and she asked, “You’re taking me to your mother’s house?” “Yeah. Come on!” “She won’t mind? Do you often bring people to her house to enjoy the beach?” I knew what she was asking. She wanted to know if I routinely brought women to my parents’ house to fuck them on the beach. Assuming I could leave out the girls from high school I’d done exactly that with, I told her the truth. “I’ve never brought anyone to my mother’s house since I moved out of there when I was nineteen. And not because that would mean having to meet my mother, not that I’ve ever introduced anyone to her.” “And it will just be us?” she asked with a hint of curiosity in her voice. “Well, the caretaker and the other people who work the estate are there, but they won’t bother us. It will just be the two of us enjoying the beach and the water, if you want to swim.” As we walked out to my bike, she shook her head. “I don’t have a bathing suit with me, Stefan.” The idea of Shay buck naked next to me in the water made my cock swell. I winked and said, “Then you can skinny dip. Nobody will see you.” Climbing onto the back of my bike, she slipped her arms around my waist and leaned in next to my ear. “You’re still struggling with this whole friend thing. Women don’t skinny dip with their male friends, Stefan.” I started my bike and revved the engine. Fuck, her body felt incredible pressed up against me. Turning my head, I looked back at her. “It was just a suggestion, but I’ll make a mental note of that for the future. No swimming naked with friends.” She smiled and rested her chin on my shoulder so our lips were nearly touching. “You’ll get it

someday. New things take time.” I hoped her words meant more than just figuring out this whole friend thing.

Chapter Sixteen

Shay THE HOUSE WE ROLLED UP to could only be described as breathtaking. An enormous Victorian home right on the waterfront, it made me feel like we’d traveled back in time to the days when all of Tampa looked like this. I’d seen paintings of neighborhoods full of homes just like this in my faculty mentor’s office, who in his spare time liked to trace the history of the area’s more distinguished families. He’d never talked about the March family, but if this house had been theirs for more than a few years, Dr. Taduch would know about them. Stefan climbed off the bike first and held out his hand to help me off. “Welcome to the March House.” “You grew up here? Wow!” I wanted to say more, but that’s all that came to my mind as I filled my eyes with the view of the gorgeous house in front of me. How wealthy were the Marches? “Yeah, it was pretty great living here. Cash and I used to love running up and down the hallways when we were little. Then when we got older, we’d dare each other to do dumber and dumber things in the water. We’re lucky we’re still here.” “It’s stunning, Stefan. Just stunning.” “I’ll give you the grand tour later. For right now, let’s relax on the beach.” “Lead the way. After tonight, I could use some relaxing. Any chance there’s a hammock?” “Sure! We’ll probably fall asleep, though. It’s pretty relaxing down there just listening to the waves.” Stefan walked toward the beach, but I stopped, unsure this was a good idea. He wasn’t getting the idea of how to be a friend, and I wondered if I’d been duped into coming here just so he could put the moves on me as a captive audience. He got about twenty yards ahead of me and noticing I wasn’t right behind him, turned around. “You coming?” I could have asked him what the hell we really were doing here, but what was the point? The guy wasn’t going to hurt me. He hadn’t shown himself to be a rapist or ax murderer. The worst that would happen would be he’d put the moves on me and I’d have to shoot him down again. He stood there staring at me as all this ran through my head, his brown eyes and their sexy look beckoning me. “Yeah. Let’s go.” As long as I didn’t fall for those eyes and all the other incredibly hot parts of him, I’d be fine. MY FEET SLID INTO THE cool, damp sand, the tiny grains getting between my toes, and I leaned back on my elbows to look up at the night sky dotted with stars. A typical early November night, a tiny chill cooled the air as it brushed my skin. I looked to where he lay on the sand next to me. “It’s gorgeous here, Stefan.” “Yeah, it is.” His eyes widened a little as he looked at me, and he said, “Is it okay if a male friend takes his shirt off when he’s sitting on the beach with a female friend? I don’t want to break any of these friend rules, which by the way, there seem to be a lot of.” The man could seduce a woman with just that cuteness of his. Even if I didn’t want to smile, I couldn’t help it when he said things like that. He waited for me to answer, to give him permission to take his shirt off, so I pretended to think about it for a minute and then answered, “I guess. It’s nothing I haven’t seen

before, so I don’t think it would break any friend rules.” I knew what he was doing. Between the cute and charming thing and the sight of his perfectly ripped half-naked body, he thought I’d forget all about this friend nonsense and sleep with him right here on the beach. As he stripped off his shirt to reveal his toned pecs and abs, I couldn’t help remember the feel of him against my body as we made love that night in my apartment. As much as my head told me no, the rest of me wanted that again. No! Do not let yourself get seduced by all these things, Shay! You may want to play him, but Carrie was right. He’s out of your league and the only one who’s going to get played is you. With a smirk that made me want to kiss him or punch him—I couldn’t decide which—he said, “Either you’re staring because you like what you see or…well, I can’t think of another reason why you’d be staring.” His comment shook me out of my silent adoration of his body and I rolled my eyes, hoping to convince him that I didn’t want him more than anything else in the world at that moment. “You know, if you’re going to get all those tattoos, you shouldn’t be surprised when people look at them. Isn’t that the point?” Stefan looked down at his arms and torso and shook his head. “No. I don’t get them for anyone else but me. If they were for everyone else, I’d get cartoon characters and Chinese symbols all over my body.” “Instead of mythological beasts and half-naked women.” There was that smirk again. It made me feel like he thought he had my number and all he had to do was give me one of those sexy trademark Stefan looks and I’d be on top of him begging him to fuck me. “For someone who’s only seen me naked once, you seem to know a lot about my tats.” I felt my cheeks grow hot under his direct stare. That’s what he wanted, though. He wanted to seduce me with his tattoos, his muscles, and every other delicious part of him. Quickly, I changed the topic before he was successful. “So if we’re going to be friends, Stefan, maybe we should know something about one another.” “More than how incredible we were in bed together?” I rolled my eyes again. I knew it! This was all a ploy to get in my pants again. “I’m guessing by that look that you think we should know more about each other. Ask away. I’m an open book.” “What’s your favorite thing to eat?” The instant the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. Stefan was just going to say something sexual and my first attempt at being friends would be ruined. But then he surprised me. “Meatloaf.” “Meatloaf?” The man came from a family that lived in a multi-million dollar waterfront house with its own beach and meatloaf was his favorite thing to eat? “Yeah, meatloaf.” He leaned back onto the sand and folded his arms behind his head. Looking up at the stars above, he continued, “Sometimes when my father was gone, which was most of the time, my mother would let the cook go for the night and she’d go into the kitchen and make us the most delicious meatloaf you’ll ever taste. I have no idea what she does to make it so good, but I think she puts some kind of tomato sauce and pepper in it. Whatever she does, I love it.” “Wow. I figured you’d say something like caviar or escargot.” Turning to look at me, he made a face like he’d just eaten something rotten. “No thanks. Neither one of them even sound good. What about you? What’s your favorite food?” “Blueberry pie.” “I don’t know the rules for this game, but I figured the favorite food had to be something you love more than anything else. How often do you have blueberry pie?”

“Not often enough. And there aren’t any rules to this. Just has to be your favorite food. Still want to stick with meatloaf?” Stefan nodded. “Yep. Still my favorite, hands down.” “Ok. What’s your favorite place?” “Right here on this beach on a warm fall night under a clear sky. And if you’re going to ask me when, the answer is right now.” “Don’t ruin this with cheesy seduction talk, Stefan.” He rolled over on his side to face me and propped his head up on his hand. “I wasn’t. It’s the truth. Remember, we’re supposed to be honest.” “I don’t believe that. You’ve had twenty—how old are you anyway?” “Twenty-seven.” “You’ve had twenty-seven years of experiences, and you want me to believe this is your favorite with me right here on this beach?” “Why not? You’ve seen what my life is about. I spend my nights in a bar watching everyone have a good time, and the only enjoyment I’ve ever found from it was chasing women. Do you know no one has ever asked me what my favorite food was? No one has ever asked me what my favorite anything was.” “I’m sure your family has,” I offered, wondering if the person staring up at me was as lonely as he sounded. “You mean Cash and Kane? I’m just the pain in the ass little brother to them. I create problems they have to clean up. And they never let me forget it.” “Well, what about your mother? Moms are always good for that kind of stuff.” His face lit up at the mention of his mother. “Yeah. She doesn’t ask, but if I tell her I’m coming over she’ll make me that meatloaf she knows I love. I’m her favorite.” “You’re the youngest. Moms always love the baby most.” “I think it was more that Cash was my father’s favorite, so she didn’t want to see me left out.” And with that, his smile faded away and an uncomfortable silence settled in between us. I didn’t know how to deal with this Stefan. The asshole who I thought of as a borderline misogynist I could handle. The decent guy at work I liked. The man who rocked my world in bed I had to resist falling for. This Stefan, though, made me want to take him in my arms and ask what his favorite everything was. He just seemed so alone that I had to fight reaching out to make him feel better. But I did fight that urge, as overwhelming as it was, because no matter who he was right now, there with me as the water gently lapped against the shore just a few feet away from us, the reality was Stefan March was that player I’d intended on playing. Even if I didn’t want him to be. Even if I really wished at that moment he was the guy next to me who I could fall for. He looked up at me and quietly asked, “Do you think people can change, Shay?” “What kind of change are we talking about?” “The kind that matters.” I looked at him, unsure of what he meant but knowing people don’t change. “Leopards can’t change their spots, Stefan. They are who they are. Like in the story about the scorpion and the frog.” Chuckling, he shook his head. “Who?” “Haven’t you ever heard of the story about the scorpion and the frog? The scorpion asks the frog for a ride across a stream, and the frog says no because he knows he’ll sting him and he’ll die. The scorpion promises he won’t. Why would he, right? He’d die too. The frog is convinced and lets him get on his back, but halfway across the stream the scorpion stings him. The frog can’t believe it and asks him, ‘Why would you do that? Now we’ll both die.’ The scorpion simply says, ‘This is my nature.’ He couldn’t

change who he fundamentally was, so they both died.” “So you don’t think people can change?” he asked, his brown eyes wide with interest in my opinion on what seemed very important to him at that moment. I thought about it and shook my head. “No, I don’t think they can. You are who you are, no matter how much another person wishes you weren’t that person.” “What if the part of you that you wanted to change wasn’t who you really were? What if it was just something that wasn’t really you?” “What do you mean?” He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, frowning as he sighed. “You’re smart, but what if you weren’t and you were just pretending to be smart? You could change to be a different way because what you were changing wasn’t the real you.” As tortured logic went, that wasn’t bad. I couldn’t argue with it, at least, even though I had no idea where he was going with this. “I guess if someone was trying to shed a façade, then that kind of change would be possible.” Stefan nodded his approval and smiled, obviously pleased by my answer. “Maybe it just takes the right set of circumstances for a person to change.” “Maybe.” I didn’t know what to say because anything I believed about people changing went completely against his positive ideas about the subject. I’d never seen anyone really change. Not for anyone or anything. Not even for love. Looking out at the water, I moved to change the subject. “I like it here. It’s quiet. After all the noise from the bar each night, this feels so relaxing.” He ran his finger through the sand toward me and lifted a handful of it up, dumping it out on my thigh. “You know what I’ve always wanted to do? Bury someone in the sand.” “You’re creeping your new friend out, Stefan.” Scooping up another handful, he poured it out over my knee and smiled up at me like he was proud of his handiwork. “I’m not trying to kill you, Shay. I’m just saying I think it would be fun to bury someone in the sand like they do in the movies. Haven’t you ever wanted to try that?” I brushed the sand off my leg and onto his arm. “No. I have a deathly fear of being trapped in anything, even sand. Small enclosed spaces, elevators, even those tiny Italian cars freak me out.” Even as I sat there explaining how I dreaded the very thing he wanted to do, he scooped up another handful of sand and then another, dumping both on my shin and nearly covering it. “Sounds like you have a fear of being out of control, if you ask me.” I kicked my leg and sent sand flying everywhere. “Thanks, Dr. Phil. I’m thinking in a past life I was trapped in some enclosed space, like a mine shaft or a box, and smothered to death, so I’ll thank you not to cover me in any more sand.” Brushing myself off, I stood to move away from him, but he grabbed me by the ankle. “Don’t leave. I promise not to bury you in the sand, okay?” I looked down at him as he gave me those puppy dog eyes that never failed to soften my heart and smiled. “Promise?” He grinned up at me, like he was having fun. “I promise. Scout’s honor. But I still want to do the whole bury someone in the sand thing, so what about if you covered me instead? I don’t have any fear of being trapped by a few grains of sand.” “You want me to cover you with sand?” Jumping up, he unbuttoned his pants. “Yeah, but not in these. Give me a second.” And with that, he stripped them off and threw them over the back of a beach chair before he turned back to face me wearing

only his boxer briefs. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this!” I watched as he sat back down and lay flat on the sand really wanting me to bury him. I’d never seen him like this. He seemed genuinely happy—not like he was at the club, usually because he was up to no good there but happy, like he didn’t have a care in the world and playing in the sand was the best thing he’d ever thought of. “For the record, even burying someone in sand sort of creeps me out,” I admitted as I sat down next to him. He picked up some sand and threw it on top of his knees. “I’m a willing participant, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, only cover up to my waist. Sound good?” The real sense of fear that had been building inside me since we’d begun this conversation ebbed a bit at the thought that at least most of him wouldn’t be trapped. Scooping up a tiny handful of sand, I tossed it onto his muscular thigh next to me. “Okay, that makes this a little easier. This still seems silly, though.” As I began in earnest to pile the sand on his legs, he leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head, totally relaxed about being immobilized at my hands. “What’s wrong with something being silly? Life is too fucking serious, Shay. You have to enjoy yourself.” “I enjoy myself. You make it sound like I don’t,” I said as I finished covering his ankles. “I’m just saying life is too short. Take all that school you’ve done. If the world ended tomorrow, what would it matter?” His condemnation of what I’d devoted so much of my life to, even if he was just joking, bothered me. Turning to face him, I tried to force myself to keep my words light like his, but I couldn’t. He’d picked the wrong topic to tease me about. “If the world ended tomorrow, I’d be proud of the work I’d done. My research might someday help cure disease and save lives. What have you done that can measure up to that?” Instantly, the hurt from my words showed in his eyes. I hadn’t meant to be such a bitch, but there it was. Regret surged through me, but before I could apologize, not for the meaning of my words but the delivery, he laughed. “You’re that same person who put me in my place the first time I met you. Fair enough. I haven’t done much of anything that can measure up to the important work you’ve done. You’re not wrong.” “I’m sorry for saying that, Stefan. That wasn’t fair. I should be able to be proud of my work without looking down on yours. I’m sorry.” Touching my hand, he shook his head and smiled. “No, you’re right. I run a nightclub. Not much of anything to change the world there.” “I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I’m just touchy about my work. I don’t mean to be a bitch either. I know I was the first day. One would think after all the time I’ve spent in clubs that I’d be more easygoing with that kind of stuff.” “You are who you are, Shay. And I’m who I am. That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, though, so get back to covering me in sand before the sun comes up.” His easy dismissal of my defensiveness made forgiving myself easier, but as I got back to the task of burying him in the sand, I couldn’t help feel that he’d forgiven me too easily. Whatever thoughts I had about that, though, disappeared as I reached the tops of his thighs and saw the outline of his hard cock pointing up toward his stomach under his boxer briefs. I felt his stare on me as a rush of heat flooded my cheeks. “Almost there. Just a few inches more and I’ll be completely buried.” I turned to see him grinning at me. “Enjoying yourself?” “Immensely.” His gaze traveled to his cock and he winked at me. “And I can’t wait to see what you do

with that.” “You should be worried that you might get sand in your junk, Stefan. I can’t imagine that would feel good.” His face twisted into a painful grimace. “Oh. That sounds bad. How about you just avoid that whole area?” “Just like a friend would,” I joked as I piled on more sand, carefully working around his hard-on. By the time I’d finished, we were back to joking and laughing, and as I stood up to take a look at my accomplishment, I couldn’t remember having a better time with a man. How strange that it should be with the one I’d been so sure I could never like at all. “All done, so now you can check off buried in sand on your bucket list,” I proudly announced as my gaze trailed over his half-covered body. “You look like some weird merman.” Sitting up, he nodded and laughed at my joke. “I think it would be a sandman, but that name is taken already. You’re the one with the brains, so what should we call this?” I had no idea what to call him, but what I did know was that except for those few minutes I felt bad about what I’d said to hurt his feelings, I’d smiled more in the past couple hours than I could remember in a long time. “I have no idea. It’s silly, though.” His hand shot out and grabbed mine, pulling me down on top of him and crushing my chest against his. Stunned, I didn’t even struggle to get free. Those brown eyes of his stared into my eyes, and I felt myself get lost in them as he said, “How am I doing with this friend thing so far?” It took me a second to process what he’d said. Lying on top of him didn’t help to make my thinking clear, and his mouth mere inches away from mine made things much worse. Finally, I croaked out, “Fine. You’re doing fine.” Stefan leaned forward and pressed his lips to my cheek in a soft kiss. Pulling back, he stared into my eyes and whispered, “Good. I think it’s time I got you home, though. We can practice our friend thing another time. Sound good?” All at once, the reality that I was still on top of him rushed back into my brain and I scrambled to my feet to get my wits back. “Sure. That sounds fine.” It took him less than a minute to undo all my fine work, and then he was standing next to me slipping his pants back on. Even though I’d told myself over and over that anything that happened between us would lead to nothing good, I couldn’t help want to touch him, to run my fingertips over his chiseled abs up to his strong shoulders. He knew it too, or at least I believed he did when I caught him watching me stare at him. Quickly, I brushed away the sand that clung to my shorts to distract me from him standing so close. “Time to get going.” He gave me a smirk and nodded. “So this is what friends do, huh?” “Sort of, although the burying you in the sand thing was new for me.” “Want to do this friend thing tomorrow night?” Before I thought his offer through, I answered, “Sure. Same place and time?” “You’re scheduled to work, so same time, but I think we should do something different next time. Maybe get a bite to eat.” We began walking back toward the house, and I said, “That sounds suspiciously like a date, Stefan.” Shaking his head, he looked at me. “Date? Nah. No such thing. Just two friends eating something together. Happens all the time with friends, doesn’t it?” His grin told me he knew we weren’t acting like friends, but I didn’t care. It was cute. “Yeah. Happens all the time.”

Chapter Seventeen

Stefan EVERY NIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS Shay and I hung out doing the friend thing, even though I knew she didn’t think of me as just a friend any more than I thought of her as one. One night we gorged ourselves on the best Mexican food to be found at three a.m., and another night we drove around for hours with Shay’s arms wrapped tightly around me as I teased her by going too fast and she tried to explain to me what she did in her research. Never before in my life had I enjoyed being around someone and not made a move on her. Not that I didn’t want to. God, I wanted to. Every minute I spent with Shay I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her. Not a night went by when I didn’t want her in my bed, but until she saw me as more than just a player, friends would be all we could be. It was strange, but part of me wasn’t in any hurry for that to end. I could be myself around her. If I felt like acting stupid, I did and she laughed at my stupidity. When I decided to be serious, she let me be that without asking if something was wrong or if I was mad at her like other women did when I wanted to be something other than Stefan March, owner of Club X. There was no posing or pretending with Shay. Just thinking of spending time with her put me in a good mood, even when I had to attend one of the weekly owner meetings or had to deal with Kane or Cash reading me the riot act for one thing or another I’d done. On the outside, I was the same Stefan, but underneath that façade, I got to be the person I was with Shay. Even managing the club became something it never had been for me before. I’d always accepted my position there. Cash was the face the world saw of Club X. Kane was the hidden part, something that fit him to a T. I lived somewhere in the middle. The man members saw as the manager of the nightclub, I’d always been expected to be the life of the party, and for a long time I’d played that role easily. Drinking and chasing women helped solidify my reputation within a few months of the club’s opening, but it didn’t take long before both had become routine and too often boring. Now, though, I enjoyed meeting people and working with my staff, not because I wanted to sleep with any of them but because I was good at showing members a good time. That didn’t mean things had gotten any better with my brothers. In fact, they’d gotten worse. Kane especially seemed to need to remind me on almost a daily basis how important Lola and her father were to our continued success, as if I didn’t already know that. Shay’s knack for understanding the people around her, including me, had begun to rub off on me, but no matter how much I wanted to see Kane’s point of view, I couldn’t. I knew what I had to do. Why did he think I needed to be reminded constantly? As I thought about all this, I heard someone walk up behind me. Turning around, I saw him approaching me with that same angry look on his face he so often wore in front of me. I was looking forward to another great night with Shay after work. I didn’t want him ruining it. “Hey, Kane, what’s up? Before you bring up the whole Lola thing, I know. I have to make sure she’s happy.” “That’s good, but I’m more curious about our bet, little brother. You leave every night with Shay, from what I can see. At least you’re trying to be sly about it and not let Lola see, but I’m wondering why I

haven’t heard you gloat about taking over my part of the club in nearly two weeks.” “Nothing to gloat about. We’re just friends.” I rarely saw shock on Kane’s face, but there it was. I’d succeeded in stunning him. “Friends? Stefan, she’s a female. Unless you’ve lost your dick, you can’t be friends with a female. It’s impossible.” “For you maybe. Not me. I haven’t made a move on her in weeks, even though we spend every night together.” Kane gave me one of those throaty laughs he did when he found something really amusing. “Me? I could be friends with a hundred women. I practically am upstairs. But even I would have to dump the friend thing if I was spending every night with the same woman. You, on the other hand, are a dog. You’re Cassian March’s son all the way, so don’t try and feed me that friend bullshit. You’re playing an angle, and you know it. I’m just curious how it’s going.” I turned away to avoid the judgmental look in his eyes. “Not this time. I admit I’ve been a bit of a man whore in the past, but Shay’s different. We’re just friends, and no, I’m not playing any angle.” Kane walked around me and stood at my side so I couldn’t evade his stare. “A bit of a man whore in the past? Stefan, you’re a man who’s made it his life’s work to sleep with every woman who passes in front of him. And when you aren’t sleeping with a woman, you’re figuring out how to get in her pants. So now, I’m supposed to believe you’ve found what? A conscience? God? A love of rejection?” Jesus, he was a ball buster! Shaking my head, I tried to explain how things were between Shay and me. “We’re just friends, Kane. Do I want more? Fuck, yeah. But I’m not going to get more if I do my usual thing, so I’m content to be friends.” “So this is some game. I knew the real Stefan was in there.” “No. No game. I’d say the same thing if she was standing right here next to me. I’m into her, but if friends is all I can have, then that’s what I’ll have to settle for.” “And you’ll stand by our deal and lose your place for a year, along with your bike forever? That’s a pretty steep price for friendship.” I’d all but forgotten about the terms of my bet with Kane, and the mention of losing not only my place but my bike did unnerve me a bit. It didn’t matter, though. When I made that bet, I was a different person, but I’d have to live up to my word anyway. “I’ll tell you what, Kane. I give up. You win. Tell me when you want to move in and I’ll get my stuff out of my condo.” “And the bike?” I swallowed hard as the thought of losing my bike settled into my brain. “Yeah. It’s yours. You win everything,” I choked out. “Holy fuck, Stefan! I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say. I’m going to have to think about this and get back to you.” “That’s fine,” I said with a shrug. “Just let me know.” Kane said not another word and walked back to Cash’s office looking like he was in a daze. At least there was that. I may have lost my place and bike, which meant I needed to find another condo and transportation, but I’d found a way to shut him up, so maybe it was all worth it. And he hadn’t given me his standard “You have to make Lola happy” lecture, so all in all, my day was going pretty well. Now I just had to find something fun to do with Shay later on that night and my day would be made.

*

AT SEVEN SHARP, I GATHERED up all the bartenders and servers for our nightly meeting, but Shay was noticeably absent. Figuring I’d wait a few minutes for her, I announced, “I forgot something in my office, so everybody hang out and we’ll get going in a few.” I’d never wondered where a bartender was before. I’d certainly never wondered where a woman was ever before. But Shay was no ordinary woman or bartender. Closing my office door behind me, I checked my phone to see if she’d texted or called, but there was no message. Maybe she was just running late. I resigned myself to give her some time and took a seat behind my desk. Someone knocked on my door a minute later, and thinking it was her, I yelled, “Come in! You’re late!” The door opened and instead of Shay I saw Lola’s head peek in. “Hey, Stefan. Can I come in?” “Sure, Lo. What’s up?” She walked in slowly, almost as if she didn’t feel welcome, and closed the door. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” “Take a seat. I’m giving Shay a few minutes, so we have some time to talk.” For a second, she frowned just a little, but then her expression returned to her usual sweet smile she wore when she was around me. “Oh. Okay.” She sat down in front of my desk and hesitated a moment before she spoke again. “Stefan, my father told me what he does to help you guys with keeping the cops off your backs. I didn’t know when I got this job, you know?” “He helps us a lot, Lo. We’d be lost without him, so please tell him thank you for us.” She flashed me a cute smile and nodded. “I will. The thing is, though, I’m not sure he’d want to do that if I wasn’t working here anymore.” “Why wouldn’t you work here anymore? You planning on leaving me, Lo? You know you’re one of my best behind the bar.” “I don’t want to, but I get the feeling I’m not really appreciated around here much anymore. You know what I mean?” Those big blue eyes of hers didn’t look so sweet or innocent anymore. Her intention in coming to see me couldn’t have been clearer, and I understood the threat all too well. Every warning Kane had given me echoed in my mind. You have to make sure Lola’s happy, Stefan. For all of us. “Not appreciated? No way. You know I’d be lost without you, Lo. Who’s going to man the front bar like you?” “Shay could. You seem to think she’s pretty good. Don’t you?” As great as I thought Shay was behind the bar, now wasn’t the time to sing her praises. To make Lo happy, I had to lie. Thankfully, lying was one of my better skills. “Lo, Lo. No way. You’re my number one girl behind the bar. Don’t give it another thought. You’ll always be my favorite out there.” “Really? I had a feeling that you liked Shay more. I mean, I like her a lot, but she’s not committed to the club like I am.” “No way. You’re my girl, Lo. The members love you. I’d be crazy to lose you. Don’t even give it another thought.” Lola’s face lit up from her broad smile, and she stood to leave, obviously satisfied that she’d gotten what she came for. “Thank you, Stefan. It means so much that you appreciate me, and I know it will mean the world to my father. I can’t wait to tell him.” I stood to add the finishing touch to my lie. Opening my arms, I walked toward Lola to hug her. “Come

here. You know how much I need you here, Lo. Right?” She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my chest, hopefully content with what I’d said to her. “I do, Stefan. I do. I guess I was just feeling insecure.” Tilting her chin up toward me, I flashed her my warmest smile as I stared down into her blue eyes, which once again stared sweetly up at me. “We okay?” She nodded. “We’re okay. Thanks, Stefan.” “Good. Now get out there and show everybody how it’s done.” “Okay! See you out there in a minute? It’s getting late. I’m sure Shay can catch up when she gets here.” “You got it. Just let me finish here and I’ll be right out. Do me a favor and round up everyone for me, okay?” “I’m on it!” she chirped out, happy to have a hand in helping me. Lola closed my office door, and I took a look at my phone again. No message or text from Shay. Where was she? I gave her ten minutes more and headed out to the bar to hold my meeting. Lola had gotten everyone together, just as I’d asked her to, and there in the back standing alone was Shay. Something about her seemed off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she didn’t look right. “Okay, everyone! Sorry about the delay, but I’m sure you didn’t miss my nightly talk much, right?” Kerry spoke up and joked, “You know we love these little get-togethers, Stefan. We adore our boss.” “Yeah, yeah. Listen up, everyone! Lola and Mika are at the front bar tonight.” I’d barely gotten the words out and I felt Shay’s glare from all the way across the room. Quickly, I added, “And Mika, Lola’s your boss in this. I hear one problem and you’ll be gone. Are we clear?” Mika nodded and forced a smile, which made me think that right at that moment she was fantasizing about stabbing me in the temple with the nearest sharp object. Lola beamed at my warning to the woman who’d not only been her competition behind the bar but in my office also. But when I looked over at Shay, her face showed that same strange look she’d worn since I came out of my office. “Kerry and Jana will be at the back bar, and Shay will handle the fourth floor. Everyone else is status quo. Anyone has any questions, come see me. Let’s have a good night!” The crowd dispersed, but Lola quickly moved toward me to let me know she didn’t think pairing her with Mika was a good idea. I calmed her and explained I didn’t intend on having any more problems with Mika, no matter what she thought would happen, but she clung to me long enough that by the time I’d finally calmed her down enough for her to work, Shay had disappeared to the fourth floor. Something in the way she looked at me from the moment she laid eyes on me tonight said something was wrong. Not that her not stopping to talk to me before heading upstairs was strange. Shay didn’t need me to hold her hand to do her job, but my gut told me there was a problem. Of course, every member of the bar staff had some problem of their own I had to personally deal with, so by the time I could get to Shay and see what was wrong, it was after two a.m. As I hit the fourth floor, I saw her talking to Kane, instantly making a surge of jealousy course through me. It didn’t matter that my half-brother didn’t seem to want women in his life or bed, even on a temporary basis. Seeing him talking to her bothered me. Maybe it was the idea that even though he was no rocket scientist, I had a sense she might think he was smarter than I was. Maybe she’d want someone like him, even with that dark, spooky thing he sported more often than not. They stood there talking like they’d known each other for years, Kane leaning over the bar laughing at something she said and Shay cleaning up for the night but full of smiles for him. I felt like an intruder on some private moment I wasn’t welcome at.

Kane finally noticed me standing next to him and chucked me in the shoulder. “Hey, Stefan, what’s up baby brother?” “Nothing, Kane. Just here to see how my bartender is doing tonight.” “Your bartender. Hmmm…I think that’s my cue to leave.” He turned to face Shay again and smiled. “Have a good one. I’m glad I could help with your problem.” “Thanks, Kane. I appreciate it.” “Always. Just give me a holler if you need anything else, but I think you’ll be fine in Stefan’s capable hands.” Shay flashed him one of those smiles I thought she only gave me, and I felt my face twist into a scowl as I watched him walk away with that smug look on his face I knew was meant to irritate me. I’d basically told him I was into Shay. Why was he butting in where he didn’t belong? And what the hell made her all lovey dovey with him? “I’m done here, Stefan, and Kane told me there aren’t any more members in rooms on this floor, so I’m going to head out. Have a good one,” she said in a flat tone as she rounded the corner of the bar to leave. “Where are you going? What’s going on?” I asked as I caught her by the shoulder to stop her. “Home.” “Why? You don’t want to do anything tonight?” “I don’t think so. Good night.” She pulled away from me with a look of disgust on her face and headed toward the stairs, so I jogged up behind her to find out what had changed between us to make her so cold. “Hey, wait up! What’s wrong, Shay?” Stopping, she looked up at me and shrugged. “Nothing.” “I don’t understand. We’ve hung out every night for two weeks, and now you’re acting like we barely know one another. What’s wrong?” “Do I know you, Stefan? I thought I did, but then I showed up to work tonight and there was Lola coming out of your office.” She was jealous. I couldn’t help but smile at how cute she looked all angry at me, but that didn’t help matters any and she stormed away even more furious than before. “Shay, come back.” “You think this is funny?” she asked as she spun around to face me. “You know, maybe if I thought you were ever really my friend, I wouldn’t feel so betrayed, but it seems that you’re that same guy I’ve thought you were all along and I’ve been fooling myself.” “Shay, nothing happened with Lola. I haven’t been with her in nearly a month. I haven’t been with anyone since we started hanging out.” “Whatever, Stefan. I can’t be around you right now.” She moved to leave, but I caught her by the arm to hold her there, needing to let her know I wasn’t the person she’d condemned. Stunned, she pushed against me with such anger that I held her tightly to me, afraid if I let her go without proving to her how wrong she was I’d never get the chance again to see her laugh at my jokes or roll her eyes at me as I said something stupid. “Let go of me!” “No, not until you listen to what I have to say.” I pulled her back as she fought to leave, nearly falling into one of the fantasy rooms before she slapped me hard across the face. “I don’t want to listen to what you have to say. You’re that same player I knew you were the moment I met you. How could I ever have let myself believe the way you’ve been for

the past two weeks was anything but some game? I don’t ever—” Each word out of her mouth hurt more than the last, and before she said she never wanted to see me again, I covered her mouth with mine in a kiss filled with all the pain I felt at the thought of Shay absent from my life. I may have been that person she thought I was for more years than I could remember, but with her I wasn’t that man. I didn’t want to be him anymore, and that was because of her. But if she left me, I didn’t know if I could stay the person I was with her. I didn’t want to go back to who I used to be. I needed her, whatever way I could have her in my life. Shay pushed away from me and shook her head. “What are you doing? I’m not one of your whores from downstairs. We’re supposed to be friends, nothing more.” “Stop pretending, Shay. You no more want me to be just a friend than I want you to be just that. If all you wanted from me was friendship, you wouldn’t care who I fucked.” She closed her eyes, as if what I’d said hurt her, and mumbled, “I don’t care. Fuck whoever you want.” “Stop lying to yourself! You do care. When you saw Lo come out of my office, you were jealous. Admit it.” Her eyes flew open and I saw pure anger in their green color. “Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t jealous. I just don’t like being lied to.” “You were jealous, Shay! Why can’t you admit it? What harm comes from admitting you don’t want me sleeping with other women?” Her face twisted into a grimace as she struggled to hold back the tears. Finally, she shouted, “Fine, you’re right. Does it make you happy to know that the idea of you being with Lola or anyone else makes me jealous?” “Yeah, it does because just seeing you talk to Kane makes me want to kill someone I’m so jealous, so yeah.” Shay flailed against me and turned to leave. “I can’t do this with you, Stefan.” “Do what? Admit you want me like I want you? Why not?” She stopped just as her hand grabbed the doorknob and hung her head. Silent for a moment, she began to softly cry. “This is a mistake.” I touched her on the shoulder, and she turned around. Her face was wet with tears, so I wiped them away with the pad of my thumb, gently drying her cheeks. “Why? We’ve hung out every night for weeks and I know you want me like I want you. Why does it have to be a mistake?” Shay sniffled and looked down toward the floor. “Because you’re going to hurt me when the player comes back.” “Is that what you think? That the person I’ve been when we’ve been together all these nights is just some act—that once I get you to sleep with me again I’ll go back to who I was?” She said nothing and didn’t even look up at me. Instead, I saw her give me a tiny nod. Hurt by what she thought of me, I backed away. “I guess you think I deserve that. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do. But you’re wrong. I haven’t been playing some game just to get you back into bed. I don’t know how it happened, but you made me want to be the person I was all those nights. I’m not going to deny that I wanted you. I did, but if all I could have was friends, I would have been okay with that, hoping that someday you’d want me like I want you.” She looked up and frowned. “I didn’t know…I saw Lola come out of your office when I got here tonight and I couldn’t help myself. I was so jealous I could barely see straight. Then you didn’t even come up to see me until the bar was closing, and by that time my anger had grown so much that I wanted to hurt you. All those feelings were so confusing. I believed it when I said I just wanted to be friends, but just the

thought of you with someone else made me realize that was a lie I kept telling myself to avoid being hurt.” “I think you were right, Shay. This is a mistake,” I said, hating the words as they left my mouth. Pushing past her, I swung the door open to get the hell out of that room. And her. “Wait!” she cried as she clung to my arm. “Don’t go. Please.” I didn’t know if staying was the right thing to do, but something inside me screamed not to let my hurt feelings ruin what we could be. I spun around and took her in my arms. “No more games, Shay. We do this or we admit this can never happen. No turning back.” She pulled me by the neck and kissed me hard as her body arched into mine. My hands slid down her back to her ass, and I tugged hard on her shorts, desperate to get to what awaited me under them. Shay moaned into my mouth as I made quick work of her thong, tearing it off as her fingers fumbled with my zipper to free my cock. Taking her hand in mine, I opened my pants and placed her hand back on my cock. Already rock hard, it swelled even more when she wrapped her fingers around it and stroked me from base to tip, staring up at me with a look in those beautiful green eyes I hadn’t seen since the first time we were together. “Hurry, Stefan. No more waiting,” she pleaded. I lifted her just above my cock and slowly slid into her, loving the feel of her tight cunt as it swallowed my cock inch by inch. So hot, so wet for me. When she’d taken all of me, I groaned, “Wrap your legs around me. Hang on, princess.” Shay’s heels pressed hard into my back, even as my hips pulled back to let me plunge back into her, and her hands threaded behind my neck pressed hard against my skin. With each thrust, I claimed her body as mine and tried to push away the jealousy I’d felt just minutes before. I wanted her as mine, even though I’d never wanted that before with a woman. “Stefan…faster…please, don’t hold back.” My hands tugged her hair, pulling her head back so she had to look at me as I fucked her. “No holding back. You’re mine now and from this moment on.” I pounded into her until our bodies were slick with sweat and my legs ached, but I could have held her there on me forever listening to her pant and moan my name as each thrust inched her closer to coming. Her pussy tightened around my cock and she scratched her nails across the back of my neck as her orgasm ripped through her, taking me over the edge with her. When her body finally ceased its trembling, she pressed her forehead to mine and whispered, “Stefan, what did we do?” “Shhh. No regrets. Okay?” Shay pulled me close and hugged me. “Yeah. No regrets.”

Chapter Eighteen

Shay THE MORNING SUN STREAMED IN through my window, waking me after far too few hours sleep. Groggy, I squinted and rolled over, smashing into Stefan’s side. The man slept like the dead compared to me and barely flinched but mumbled some garbled words as he turned away from me and the unwanted morning light. My alarm clock announced in bright red numbers that it was barely nine o’clock, way too early for night owls to be awake, so I pulled the blanket up over my head and hoped I could fall back to sleep. “You know, there are things called shades. Some of them are even room darkening,” Stefan whispered as he snuggled up against my back. “This room is desperately in need of them.” I turned my head and looked to see him smiling at me. God, he was even sexy first thing in the morning. “Yeah? I’ll get on that right away.” He groaned and pushed his hips forward, grazing my ass with his hard cock. “Good. Get on that.” Rolling over to face him, I tapped him on the tip of his nose. “You’re pretty demanding in the morning. Do you know that?” Stefan opened his eyes and smiled so sexy I couldn’t help but be turned on. “Not demanding at all. Just observant.” He nuzzled my neck and kissed me just below my ear, instantly making me want him. “If you want demanding, I have a few ideas about what we should be doing instead of talking about your room’s location on the surface of the sun.” My head felt like it was swimming. Closing my eyes, I moaned, “Oh, God…mmmm…like what?” “Like you climbing on top of me and straddling my hips to take advantage of this hard on that’s so nicely shown up just for you.” “I like the way you think.” Stefan rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him in one fluid motion. Sliding his hands down my back, he cupped my ass and thrust his hips up so his cock slid through my already wet pussy. God he felt good! Leaning down, I ran my tongue lightly over his pierced nipple and rolled my hips so his cock hit my clit perfectly. He tugged my head up and lifted his hips off the bed. “You’re so wet. I love that.” I rolled my hips again, this time taking just the head of his cock inside me, and sat back on my heels, teasing him as I slid my fingers up the length of his shaft between my legs. “I like this.” Stefan opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of his cell phone ring interrupted us. Looking down at his phone resting on his clothes that lay in a pile on the floor, I saw Cash’s name come up on the screen. “It’s your brother. Want me to grab it?” “The only thing I want you to grab is my cock. Whatever my brother has to say to me can wait. Now, where were we?” He lifted his hips again and slid the head of his cock over my clit, making my eyes roll back in my head. I’d had enough of teasing and foreplay, so I rolled my hips to take him inside me, but his phone rang again with his brother calling. “You sure you don’t want to get it? It’s Cash.” A look of pure frustration came over him. “Yeah, I better get it. He’ll keep calling until I answer. Can

you reach it?” Disappointed at the interruption, I leaned over and grabbed his phone as it hit the third ring. “Tell him I said hi and thanks for ruining a great wakeup,” I joked as I handed it to him. Stefan swiped the screen and put the phone to his ear. “Cash, what have I told you about calling me before noon?” His expression grew dark immediately as the person on the other end of the phone began speaking. “Olivia, when did it happen? Where is she?” Listening closely, he nodded and the corners of his mouth turned down. “I’ll be right there. I’m not far away.” He pressed END on his phone and threw it off to the side. Worry filled his brown eyes, and he said, “I have to go. My mother’s in the hospital. Olivia says they think she had a heart attack.” I quickly climbed off him and sat there watching him racing to get his clothes on. “I’m so sorry, Stefan. Do you need anything?” In seconds, he was fully dressed and leaning over to kiss me goodbye. “I’ll call you when I find out more.” “Okay. If you need me, I’m here.” He nodded, and I saw the sadness settle into his face. I wanted to help, but I wasn’t going to push. We were too new for that. HOURS LATER, I LAY THERE in bed wondering if his mother was okay. I still had both my parents, so I could only imagine how awful it was to lose one, and Stefan had already lost his father. And he was close to his mother too. My heart hurt for him, but I stopped myself from calling or texting, wishing we were closer so I could at least be a shoulder to cry on. After calling my mother to tell her I love her and reassure her I wasn’t dying or I hadn’t run off and gotten married without telling her, I had to get up and do something. I couldn’t stay in bed all day worrying. I’d never met Mrs. March, but somehow after spending that night on the beach at her house listening to Stefan talk about how close they were, I felt like I knew her in some small way and I wanted to know more about her. A shower made me feel a little better, although all I could think of standing naked under the water was how my body had felt against Stefan’s as we’d made love, first at the club and then when we’d gotten back to my place. All this time fighting what I’d wanted seemed silly now that we finally gave in and enjoyed one another without thinking of what would happen later on. I didn’t know what we’d ever be, but if all we were ended up to be just fun, I liked that idea. Dressed for the day, I checked the time and saw it was just about noon. Until Stefan called with more information on his mother, I planned to keep myself occupied one way or another. Carrie had been after me to have lunch for days, so I called her hoping she could take my mind off what might be happening at the hospital. “Hey, Shay! Tell me you’re calling me for that lunch. I’m dying for a hamburger and fries.” “I guess. Give me a few minutes and I’ll fly by and pick you up.” “Everything okay, honey? You sound upset.” “I’m worried about a friend. I’ll tell you about it when I see you. How’s fifteen—” My phone buzzed from a text. “Hang on, Carrie.” I check my phone and saw a text from Stefan. I need you. Can you come to Tampa General?

I read over the first part of his text. I need you. Had she taken a turn for the worse? I quickly texted back I can be there before one and waited for him to text back, but I remembered Carrie was still on hold. “Carrie,

let me call you later, okay? Something’s come up.” “Okay. Call me if you need me.” Stefan texted back I’ll meet you at the front entrance. Thnx and I grabbed my purse and keys, hoping everything would be okay.

* HE STOOD WAITING FOR ME at the front doors of Tampa General, and we walked to the cardiac ward and his mother’s hospital room. Her heart attack had been relatively minor, but she’d have to stay for a few days for observation because one of her arteries had been totally blocked. Stefan looked like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, and he was back to his old self by the time we got to her room. I stopped just before the doorway, suddenly feeling out of place. I’d never met his mother, and now I was visiting her in her hospital room after her heart attack. That seemed inappropriate. Stefan picked up on my uneasiness. “Don’t worry. She’s up and acting like herself already. Cash and Olivia are in there, but they’ll be leaving soon so it will just be us.” Peeking in, I saw Olivia smile at me. Turning toward Stefan, I asked, “Are you sure? I’m a total stranger to your mother.” Those deep brown eyes looked down at me, making me feel like I wanted to do anything to make him happy. “It’s okay. I told her I wanted to have you here with me. She knows you’re coming.” “What did you tell her about me?” I asked, unsure what he could have said to his mother since all we’d been was sex and a couple weeks of pretending to be friends. “I told her you and I had hung out on the beach at the house and you’d buried me in sand. It made her laugh for the first time all day. So don’t worry, okay? I’ll be right there with you.” I took a deep breath. “All right. I’m just glad she’s going to be all right. You looked so worried this morning I was afraid it would be bad news.” Stefan leaned down and kissed me softly. “I hope we can pick up where we left off soon.” Knowing his mother, Cassian, and Olivia were just a few feet away made me blush at Stefan’s reference to us having sex again and I rolled my eyes. “Nice. Now I’m going to be all red when I walk in.” “Don’t worry. I’m just like my mother, so you know what to expect.” He took my hand and squeezed it, and a soft female voice from inside the room said, “Stefan, are you out there with someone? Don’t make her stand out there in the hallway. Come in.” Now I had no choice. I had to go in to meet her. I swallowed hard and put my sweetest smile on as I headed in to meet the mother of the man I’d just begun sleeping with. No pressure or strangeness. Right. I tagged behind Stefan, gripping his hand tightly, like a nervous child going to school for the first time. Olivia and Cassian stood at her bedside next to an enormous window, and for a moment I wished I was anywhere outside in the distance than there in that room. Oddly enough, even though I’d spent years studying all facets of organisms found in the human body, I found basic sickness something I’d never been comfortable with. Added to that the pressure of meeting someone’s mother for the first time and I was a nervous wreck. He stopped at the foot of her bed and said, “Mom, this is Shay.” Looking down at me, he smiled. “Shay, this is my mother, Alexandria March.” Alexandria March sat upright in a hospital bed, her stark white sheet and blanket neatly folded across her lap. She wore a satin blue nightgown like my mother wore when we had guests at our house—far

fancier than anything I ever wore to bed. It hid most of her shape, but I could tell by her face and neck that underneath all that fabric she was thin. Her eyes were the identical deep brown color of Stefan’s, and in many ways, she looked like her younger son, right down to the brown shade of her hair. I had no idea how old she was, but she had a young look to her face, especially when she smiled. Instantly, she made me feel at ease, even though I stood there in her hospital room a near perfect stranger. “Shay, it’s very nice to meet you. You must be the second shift since Cassian and Olivia are leaving.” “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. March.” She giggled and looked over at Olivia, who hadn’t taken her eyes off me since I’d entered the room. “Oh, she’s just like you with the Mrs. March business.” Smiling at me, she continued, “Please feel free to call me Alexandria.” Cassian spoke up and moved to his mother’s side. “Mom, we’ll leave you with Stefan and Shay. Olivia and I will come back later and make sure you don’t need anything.” Leaning over, he kissed her on the cheek and Olivia did the same. “Feel better, Alexandria. I’ll bring you those magazines later so you have something to keep yourself busy.” “Don’t worry about me, you two. I’ll see you later.” Olivia winked at me as she left, like she knew more about me than I could imagine, and then Stefan and I were left alone with his mother. He moved around her bed to drag a wooden chair over for me, and I sat down next to her bed near the nightstand. Behind me, I felt his hands on the back of the chair, making me feel like I was truly with him there. “Stefan’s told me a lot about you, Shay. A scientist. That’s impressive. What kind of science?” “Microbiology.” “Interesting.” She moved her gaze from my face to Stefan’s above me. “Honey, will you go to the gift shop and get me something to read?” The confusion in his voice was clear after hearing what Olivia had just said. “You don’t want to wait until Olivia brings you the magazines?” “I’ll need something to do until the next shift comes in after you two leave, so pick me up Time and The Enquirer.” She looked at me and smiled. “I like to be in the know, but I can’t help but be curious about what Hollywood stars are doing. Do you know who I love? That Robert Downey Jr. There’s a success story I love!” “Okay, Mom. Shay and I won’t be long.” A slow smile spread across her lips. “Shay can stay here with me so we can get to know each other. Take your time.” Alexandria March obviously didn’t feel the need to be subtle. I looked back at Stefan and bit my lip nervously. Smiling down at me, he said, “You okay hanging out here?” “I’m fine. I’ll bore your mother with talk of all things microbiology.” His hand rested on my shoulder for a moment and then he turned to leave. “I’ll be back in a few. Don’t tell Shay about any of my more embarrassing childhood stories, okay Mom?” Alexandria winked at him. “I make no promises.” I listened as Stefan’s footfalls disappeared out into the hallway and watched his mother as she seemed to study me. Obviously, she wanted to be alone with me, but why? Nervous, I blurted out, “Stefan takes after you. You have the same brown eyes.” “He does,” she said with a genuine smile. “Cassian looks just like his father, but Stefan is definitely my son.”

I sat there waiting for her to say something else, but she didn’t and all the anxiety I’d had about coming to see her rushed back. Bracing myself for whatever she might say, I was surprised by her next words. “Stefan likes you, Shay. I’m sure you know that. You’re an intelligent girl. Some people might ask what someone so intelligent would see in him, but I have a different question for you. Do you think he’s just what you see on the outside?” “We’re not…I mean, we’re just…” I didn’t want to lie to the woman, but I couldn’t tell her the truth that all we’d really been, other than pretending to be friends for a few weeks, were two people who’d slept together a couple times. “I bet you think I don’t know what my son is, or at least what most people, including his brother, think he is. I do. I just think he’s so much more.” “I’m not sure what you mean,” I said, coming dangerously close to lying since I had a feeling she was referring to his reputation as a player. “Stefan may look like me, but he’s a lot like his father. Cassian never paid much attention to Stefan. He was always only interested in the son who was his namesake. That didn’t mean Stefan loved him less, though. I’d hoped that because he looked like me that he’d be more like me, but it became clear by the time he was a teenager that he was his father to a T. His father certainly loved women.” I didn’t know what to say at that moment. His mother had just admitted her son was a man whore. What was the appropriate response to that? “I’m not forgiving anything about Stefan’s behavior, Shay. I just think there are reasons people act the way they do. Stefan’s father had women all over town. Besides the two sons he had with me, there are three other children he had with those women. You work at the club so you’ve met one of them. Kane.” She stopped talking for a moment, and I wondered if I should suggest we change the topic so she didn’t get upset. She had just had a heart attack. I doubted she needed to be discussing something so difficult for her, but she continued telling me what she obviously thought I should know about her son. “So you’re okay with Stefan and Cassian running the kind of club they have?” Alexandria nodded her head. “Everyone involved is a consenting adult. I judge people based on things other than their brand of sex.” I couldn’t help but like Stefan’s mother. He’d been right when he described her as just like him. She had a carefree way about her that drew me in, just like her son had. “I hated those women and their children for a long time. I know. I should have hated my husband, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that, so I hated the others. I walked around with that hate in my heart, the very heart that seems to not be working as well as it used to. Then one day I saw Kane. He was about nine or ten the first time I saw him, and I knew the moment I looked into his face that he carried the same hate in his heart. He looked so much like my son Cassian, but where my son had gentleness in his face, all that boy had was hate and hardness.” I knew exactly what she meant about Kane. Compared to Stefan and his lightheartedness, Kane was dark and hard. “I couldn’t walk around with all that hate inside me. I didn’t want to look like that angry child, so I worked every day to forgive my husband. Then when Stefan became a teenager, I saw he was just like his father. Females came and went—have for years—but he’s not just like his father. There’s me inside him too, and that part makes him want more than what he’s gone after all these years.” “I’m not sure I know Stefan well enough…” I stammered out, now completely lying to her. “Yes, you do. You’re a smart girl. You know what he is. I’m just wondering if you know what he could be with the right person.”

“I’m not sure anyone knows what another person could be.” She looked unhappy with my answer, so I added, “I can say this. Stefan isn’t just the player man whore I thought he was.” My blunt admission made her eyes widen for just a moment, and I thought I’d offended her, but then she flashed me a big smile. “I like hearing that. You know, his brother has always been easier, even though he carries his father’s name. I always knew Cassian would settle down and be happy. That he married wrong the first time didn’t matter. I knew he’d find someone like Olivia. But Stefan I wasn’t sure about. I didn’t know if anyone would take the time to see what’s underneath the façade.” “Alexandria, I don’t know what he told you about me. I’m leaving in a few months to study in Europe for a year.” Her expression fell slightly, like what I’d said disappointed her. “He didn’t tell me that. Does he know?” “Yeah, he knows.” “Well, I still think you’re good for him. Do you know he’s never told me about any girl ever before? You’re the first.” Smiling, I said, “I’m honored to be the first. Stefan’s a great guy.” “What do you plan to do after your time in Europe? Will you come back?” “I’m not sure where I’ll end up. I want to continue my research, but I’m not sure there’s anything here for me with that.” I saw by the look in her eyes that my answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I didn’t have a better one. I didn’t know what the future held after Copenhagen. If my research led me away from Tampa, that was the way it had to be. I’d devoted too many years to my dream to discard it. “Do you know I was a nurse when I married Stefan’s father? I loved being a nurse. I worked right here in this hospital. It’s probably the reason they’re nice to me, although more likely it’s because I’m on the board of directors,” she said with a chuckle. “I had no idea you were a nurse. What made you stop working here?” “I had Cassian and became very sick after giving birth to him. When I recovered, I chose to stay home with him and two years later I had Stefan. By that time, my husband’s businesses had grown to where I didn’t have to work.” She stopped talking and I didn’t know what to say. The wistful tone in her voice told me she might have regretted giving up her career for the men in her life. I couldn’t do that, even if I loved someone. I didn’t want to be like her in thirty years and look back on my life with regret like I suspected I heard in her words. I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Stefan with an armful of magazines, books, and newspapers. He wore the grin of a doting son as he deposited the goodies on the table near the window. “I thought you might want more, just in case you got bored.” “My son spoils me, Shay. Can you tell?” “Just a little,” I said with a smile as I looked at Stefan arranging enough reading material for a month. “Do you need anything else, Mom?” he asked, his brown eyes wide with concern. “No. I think it’s time you and Shay go, though. I’m getting tired and the doctors will be furious if I don’t follow their silly rules.” He leaned down to give her a kiss goodbye. “Okay. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.” Cradling his face in her hands, she smiled up at him. “Thank you, Stefan. Don’t worry about me. Everything will be okay.” “Okay, Mom. Love you. I’ll see you later.” I stood from my chair and held my hand out to shake Alexandria’s, but she gently pulled me into a hug

and whispered low in my ear, “It was so nice to meet you, Shay. Think about what I said.” When she released me, I saw Stefan come to stand behind me. “I hope you feel better soon.” “Come back to see me again and next time I’ll tell you about the time Stefan and Cassian thought it would be nice to surprise me for Mother’s Day and nearly demolished my kitchen.” Stefan shook his head and laughed. “We were just trying to do something nice. Now we know that flour makes a mess when two boys get into it.” “He told me about how much he loves your meatloaf,” I said with a smile. “He did?” she said looking up at him with a look of pure motherly love. “He’s the only person in the world who even likes my meatloaf, Shay. Maybe someday I can make it for the two of you and I can get another fan.” “That would be nice. Thank you, Alexandria.” “You’ll be coming to Cassian and Olivia’s engagement party, won’t you? I don’t know if Stefan showed you the inside of the house when you were at the beach, but I’d love for you to see it.” “She’s coming, Mom. You’ll get to show her the scene of the great flour crime of 1996.” “Good. Now you two get going and do something fun.” Stefan and I walked out of the room and when we were far enough away from the door for her to hear what he had to say, he stopped and turned toward me with a look of worry on his face. “I hope she didn’t say anything to make you not want to be around me.” “Not at all. She’s your biggest fan.” “That’s good. I was worried she’d give you a rundown of every girl I’ve ever dated since the seventh grade.” “That would be a long list, I would think,” I said jokingly. “We’d be in there for days talking.” “Funny, but something tells me I shouldn’t have left you in there alone with her.” I poked him in the side and smiled. “I wouldn’t worry. It was just the woman who knows more about you than anyone else talking to the woman you just began sleeping with. What could go wrong?”

Chapter Nineteen

Shay B Y THE TIME I ARRIVED at the club that night, I’d thought about my conversation with Alexandria about a hundred times and come up with dozens of conclusions and even more questions. Had Stefan told her we were serious? Or had she just assumed that when he brought me there with him? Why had she told me about his father, another notorious man whore, if the stories I heard were correct? Didn’t she worry I’d think he was as bad as his father and want to run in the other direction? Regardless of anything she’d said, I couldn’t help feel good about being there for Stefan. He practically beamed when he first saw me at the hospital, and after leaving his mother’s room he couldn’t thank me enough for coming. Whatever we were doing together, it was all happening so quickly. My first instinct told me to slow down with him. So carefree, he had a way about him that took hold of you and didn’t let go, taking you along with him. I had no idea where all this with him would end, but in my heart, I knew it would someday end. I just prayed that it ended because of my leaving and not something he did. The club appeared empty as I set myself up at the front bar and began to prepare for the evening, but within minutes Cassian and Olivia walked out of their offices in the back. For the first time since I’d begun working at Club X, they stopped to speak to me, likely thinking Stefan and I were far more serious than in reality we were. Always professional, Cassian March had an air of coolness that his brothers simply didn’t possess. His blue eyes, like Kane’s, were so different than Stefan’s deep brown eyes that always gave the impression that he was always on the lookout for fun. Cassian’s eyes looked like he was studying you and behind them his mind was choosing whether or not to like you. The few times I’d seen him out in the club, he didn’t intimidate me so much as make me wonder how someone so attractive could be so aloof. The idea of him hitting on me or any other bartender seemed preposterous, yet Lola had told me all about the story she’d heard from one of the other bartenders that Olivia had been his assistant before she and Cassian became involved and supposedly their romance had begun up in one of the fantasy rooms. The idea that the very sweet yet very businesslike Olivia had gotten freaky with her boss made her all the more likeable to me. Maybe it was because I was screwing around with one of the owners, but after seeing her at the hospital earlier that day, we seemed to have more in common. I imagined she thought so too since she stopped for the first time as they walked out tonight. Cassian saw me standing behind the bar and made a point to speak to me. “Shay, I wanted to thank you for visiting my mother this afternoon. That was very nice of you.” “I was happy to, Cassian. She’s a lovely woman.” “Well, I spoke to her a short while ago and she couldn’t say enough about you. It seems you made quite an impression on her.” I chuckled at how gossipy the March family was. “We had a very nice talk. She promised to show me the scene of the crime from when you and Stefan blew up her kitchen with flour.” For the first time, Cassian’s deep blue gaze softened as his smile went all the way up to his eyes. “Ah, she told you about that.”

“I love that story!” Olivia said and kissed Cassian on the cheek. “She loves to tell that story. It’s so cute to think of Cash and Stefan as little boys trying to make their mother something special for Mother’s Day. What were you trying to make again?” “Pancakes. I was ten and Stefan was eight. Needless to say, it didn’t turn out well.” “Well, you meant well,” she said with a giggle. Cassian smiled and said his goodbye, but Olivia hung back for a moment and I saw she had something to say. Leaning over the bar, she whispered, “Stefan told me he liked someone, but I had no idea it was you.” “I’m not sure it was me. You know what they say about him.” Knitting her brows, she frowned. “I know, but I think there’s more to him than that.” Olivia was very much like her soon-to-be mother-in-law that way. “Well, we aren’t anything super serious like you and Cassian, so don’t have us walking down the aisle just yet. We’ve just been hanging out. That’s all.” “I understand, but both Alexandria and Stefan made sure to tell me to put you on the list for invitations to the engagement party. You might be just hanging out, but they like you.” “You know I’m leaving at the beginning of next year, right? When is the party?” I asked, pretty sure she knew when I was scheduled to leave. Olivia gave me the impression that she knew far more than she let on. “December 6. I know you’re leaving right after the holidays, so I hope to see you there. Not only would it mean a lot to Stefan and Alexandria, but it would mean a lot to Cash and me too.” “Well, then. Seems all the Marches and future Marches want me there, so I’ll be there.” “Less than a month and counting,” she said with a smile. “I have to catch up with Cash, but it was nice talking to you, Shay. Come back and see me sometime. My office is right next to his.” Olivia walked away, and I couldn’t help but feel like everyone thought this thing between Stefan and me was much bigger than what I thought it was. Not that I didn’t enjoy being with him. The funny and sexy sides to him were definitely parts I liked, but what about the player part? The memory of that side to him never left me. “Hey, you look a million miles away. What’s up?” I shook myself out of my thoughts and saw Stefan standing in front of me. Quickly, I wondered if I should bring up what everybody thought. Maybe he’d said something about us that I should know. As this idea trudged around my brain, I couldn’t help but think that I should just enjoy myself and let this thing between us go wherever it was meant to. “Just daydreaming. How are you? Everything good with your mother?” “Yeah. She’s feeling better. The doctors think she might be able to go home tomorrow or the day after.” “At least you know she has something to read,” I teased, receiving a smile in return. “I know. I went a little overboard. I tend to do that with people I care about.” “It’s nice to see a man who treats his mother well. They say you can tell how a man will treat a woman by the way he is with his mother.” I knew Stefan’s history belied everything I’d just said, but seeing how he was with her had impressed me. “Then that’s a good thing for me. Maybe that will cancel out the other things you don’t like so much about me.” “Maybe. You better get going. Something tells me we’re giving off a couple vibe here, and if Lola sees that, she’s likely going to interrogate me the entire night.”

Stefan’s brows knitted in anger. “You do realize I own this place and she’s my employee, right?” “Yes, but she already sees me as competition, so adding fuel to that fire can’t be a good thing for your business. Or for me.” “Did she give you a hard time the other night? Is that why you wanted to be up on the fourth floor?” I couldn’t hide my disappointment at losing the only friend I thought I had at Club X. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “She’s very territorial about you, and I guess she felt like I was intruding on her property. I thought we were friends, but I guess not.” Stefan’s frown deepened. “Then maybe it’s time she spends a few nights up on the fourth floor to get that idea right out of her head.” Reaching out, I squeezed his hand resting on top of the bar. “You don’t have to defend me, Stefan. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” “Maybe I want to defend you.” “I just don’t want you to do anything that would create a problem here. She’s your head bartender and losing her over this would be foolish.” “Over what? You? I don’t think that would be foolish, Shay. You’re an even better bartender than she is, so if Lola decides to leave, the club won’t suffer.” “I’m not going to be here forever. It’s best to keep that in mind when you make decisions regarding her.” I watched as his eyes filled with hurt at my allusion to leaving and felt bad, not because I had to leave but because he clearly didn’t even like hearing about it. “Right.” “And we agree we should keep whatever we’re going together on the down low?” I asked with a chuckle. “I mean, if you can’t really explain what you’re doing with someone, maybe you shouldn’t make it obvious.” Somehow, I’d become a blabbering idiot in the past few minutes, but I had a vibe that if Lola found out Stefan and I were together in any way, she’d make our lives a living hell. No longer my friend, she likely wouldn’t see any reason to keep the peace. “What if I don’t want to keep us on the down low?” he asked defensively. “Stefan, there’s nothing wrong with keeping your private life private. It won’t take away anything from what we’re doing if no one but us knows. It actually will make it more special, like a secret only we share.” He looked unconvinced, so I said, “What if I ask you to do this for me?” His eyes softened and he smiled. “You already know my weakness, don’t you? If you ask me to pretend like we aren’t together, I’ll do it, but I don’t want to hide being happy.” “I don’t want you to hide your happiness. Just that it comes from anything involving me.” Stefan hung his head for a moment and then looked up at me with that puppy dog look I couldn’t help but fall for. “Okay, but in return for doing this, I want you to come to my place tonight. Those are my terms.” He was so cute. Trying to stifle a smile, I said, “I didn’t realize we were negotiating, but okay. I agree to those terms.” “Good. Be ready to leave after the bar closes. Until then, I promise to look like the same guy I’ve always been.” Stefan flashed me a sexy smile and winked before turning and heading toward his office. Almost as if we’d gotten lucky, Lola walked in just as he closed his office door. Her eyes lit up when she saw me like they always had, but now I knew I had to suspect her every move since she’d decided I was the enemy as

much as Mika. “Hey, Shay! You’re here early tonight.” “Just wanted to get a jump on the night. You know how it is.” I intentionally busied myself with arranging glasses and prep to avoid speaking to her as much as possible, but once Stefan emerged from his office, there was no way I could avoid her. His version of keeping us on the down low actually drew more attention to us, not less. While I tried to keep my eyes off him, his gaze seemed glued on me, which didn’t escape Lola’s attention. At times, it felt as if his stare was burning a hole in my side, and after about an hour of him acting like that, I wasn’t surprised when she finally gave in and asked me about it. “Did something happen between you and Stefan, Shay?” I served the member who’d ordered a gin and tonic and steeled my expression before turning to face her. Squinting, she wore the look of someone who suspected her man had been cheating on her. “Something happen? What do you mean?” Lola’s body twisted into a defensive pose as her right hip shot out. “He can’t take his eyes off you tonight. I’ve been watching him since he came out of his office, and he hasn’t stopped looking at you.” “How do you know he’s not looking at you? We’ve been standing right next to each other since you got here,” I offered, silently praying that my deflection worked. No such luck. “He’s looking at you. What’s going on? Did you two sleep together?” My mouth fell open in genuine surprise. Christ, she didn’t pull any punches when she thought someone was stealing her man. “Sleep together? Jesus, no!” She continued to glare at me, and something made me want to be spiteful. Not that being that way was ever a good idea. “I’m not like Mika or Kat or Jana. I know better than to sleep with a man whore. That’s a road to nowhere.” My mother’s repeated caution when I was a child not to spite my face by cutting off my nose rang in my ears as Lola’s eyes flew open in shock that I’d basically just indicted her along with the other women at Club X who foolishly slept with Stefan believing he would someday choose them and them alone. She may never have admitted to me she’d been sleeping with him, but we both knew what had been going on. I didn’t need to be defensive about her questioning or her sleeping with him, but I couldn’t help it. Something about the way she acted like Stefan was all hers bugged me, and if I couldn’t say anything outwardly about it, I’d take whatever opportunity I could to slip in a dig or two. She worked quickly to regroup and contain her anger at my comment. “I know. It’s ridiculous that they think he cares about them. I wonder why he’s looking at you then.” “I have no idea. I’m sure if he has a problem with me, he’ll let me know. It’s not like Stefan ever holds anything back. Remember how angry he was with me about the Mika thing?” Lola nodded and appeared to consider the truth in my statement. “You’re right. I was probably just seeing things.” I looked toward the door as a steady stream of members made their way into the club. “Let’s hope so. I don’t need him yanking me out from behind the bar tonight. Looks like we’re going to have another great tip night. I don’t want to miss that.” My enthusiasm for making money seemed to put to rest her concerns that Stefan had taken a shine to me, but something told me this wouldn’t be the last time I’d have to deal with her suspicions.

* ONE STEP INTO STEFAN’S CONDO and any ideas I had that he was just any other guy flew right out the

penthouse window. A nearly 360 degree view of the bay may have been the selling point for the place, but the inside of the condo was nearly as spectacular. Impeccably furnished, his place could have been a showcase for contemporary design. Unlike most apartments I’d been in with that style, though, his had a warmth to it instead of a sterile feeling. Throwing his keys on the kitchen counter, Stefan spread his arms and smiled. “Welcome to Chez Stefan. What do you think?” I sat down on one of the barstools lining the island. “It’s gorgeous, but I’d expect no less. You’re a man who likes to enjoy life, and this condo shows that.” “You make it sound like I’m some billionaire playboy, Shay. I’m just a bar owner. That’s all.” Raising my eyebrows, I chuckled. “Going for the humble thing now? I’m not sure you can pull that off, Stefan.” “I figured it was worth a try. Come with me. I want to show you something.” I followed him out through the glass doors that led to the terrace and stopped dead at the sight of the view he had. It nearly took my breath away. The bay looked like it went on forever and from where I stood it seemed like I could see the entire world. Turning toward me, he grinned. “What do you think? Pretty nice, huh?” “It’s stunning. Utterly breathtaking. I can’t imagine having this right outside my window every day. I’d never leave home.” His eyes filled with pride. “I thought you might like it.” “Like it? I love it! It’s so gorgeous I could stay right on this spot forever.” He stayed silent for a long time as we looked out over the water and then moved behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. Leaning down, he rested his chin on my shoulder. “About that. We’re still doing the truth thing, right?” I turned my head and his lips softly grazed mine. “The truth thing, as you call it, is probably best for whatever we’re doing, friends or otherwise.” Stefan gently turned me to face him and kissed me, his tongue sliding into my mouth to playfully tease mine. He pulled away after a few moments as a jolt of need tore through me straight to my core, but I saw in his eyes he had something he wanted to tell me. “So about that truth thing…I have to tell you about something that you might not like,” he said in a quiet voice. “Like what?” I asked, worried that what he was about to tell me would ruin everything I felt for him already. “Maybe I should give you a little background so you can see this in the proper light. Kane and I have a love-hate relationship. Well, sort of. We used to be really close when we all got together to run Club X. He’s always been a little moody, but we had a good time.” “Chasing after women and having a good time?” “Well, for me, yeah. Him not so much. Kane never chases after women. I don’t know why or what the hell happened to him, but he’s never really had many women in his life. Other than how he is with you, which drives me out of my fucking mind with jealousy, he really only talks to Olivia and his dancers, but he never touches them.” “Which must confuse someone like you since you’d probably be all over those dancers,” I said with a smile. I knew what Stefan was, and in some ways, I had to agree with Lola. He loved women. Not in the way they usually wanted him to, but in a way that showed he enjoyed them. “The old me would have. That’s sort of what I’m getting at. The old me and Kane were close but not so much recently. He likes to bust my balls, which pisses me off. See? Love-hate. So that first day I met

you right after your interview he was busting me about not being able to get you—that you were out of my league. And I…” Worry settled into those brown eyes of his and made me nervous. What had he done? “And you…?” “I made him a bet that I could get you to fall for me.” The words came out so fast that my brain took a few seconds to process what he’d said. By then, he had launched into damage control mode. “The bet wasn’t just for sex, though. I had to make you fall in love with me or I’d lose.” “Lose what?” I bit out. “Money?” “No. I’d lose this place for a year and my bike forever.” “You’re pretty damn confident in your abilities, aren’t you?” A smile lit up his face for a moment. “Well, yeah.” “And you’re telling me this why?” He looked out over the balcony’s edge and frowned. “Because I lost this place and my bike when I told Kane that we were just friends. I gave in and admitted he’d won because I didn’t want to be betting on us anymore, so he gets my condo for the next twelve months and my bike. So don’t get too attached to the view here.” I nudged his chin back toward me so he had to look into my eyes when I spoke. “You know, you two are really childish. Was that the reason why he’s been so nice to me?” “I don’t think so. I think he likes you. Not the way I feel about you but as a person. He’s like that with Olivia too.” “Why are you telling me this? I probably never would have found out, Stefan. I doubt Kane would have told me.” “I know. I just didn’t want to carry that around anymore. I like being able to be honest with you. I’m not trying to sound like an asshole, but I’ve never been honest with a female in my life. Well, other than my mother, and that’s only about some things.” “Don’t worry. She knows exactly what you are.” “Does she? How do you know?” “That’s what she wanted to talk to me about the other day. She hopes I’ll see past the man whore thing and realize that the guy underneath is pretty decent.” “Any chance that can happen, especially after what I just told you?” Pressing my forehead to his, I closed my eyes and smiled at how cute he could be. “I think you’re a decent person, Stefan. Even if I still can’t believe it, I like you, probably more than I should.” He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me gently. “I was so worried you’d get angry and storm out after I told you about the bet. I swear that was the old me. That guy doesn’t exist anymore. Only the one who loves spending time with you and misses you when you’re not around exists.” “So the leopard has changed his spots?” Stefan shook his head. “Nope. The tiger took off his leopard coat. It was all a façade.” Even though I should have been furious with him for betting he could make me fall for him, I couldn’t stay angry at him. Not when he stood there being so cute and giving me that look that made me practically melt. I didn’t tell him, but he was very close to winning that bet. All it would take was letting myself go.

Chapter Twenty

Stefan I FELT LIKE THE WEIGHT of the world had been lifted off my shoulders when I saw Shay smile after I told her about my bet with Kane. As I stood there with her on my balcony looking out at the lights shining off the water, I wished I hadn’t made that stupid bet. Sure, Shay had taken it well, but I was losing my home and my bike, and she’d really been impressed by my place. Jesus, the old me was really an asshole. “So, when do you have to move?” “I don’t know. When I told Kane, he was so shocked to hear me admit I’d lost that he was speechless. I’m sure when it settles in, he’ll let me know when I should have my things packed and ready to go.” Shay wrapped her arms around my neck and looked up at me playfully. “That’s too bad. I like this place.” I nuzzled the soft skin just under her ear. “Then we better take advantage of it while I still have it.” “Got anything in mind?” “Yeah, I do.” Lifting the black Club X t-shirt over her head, I kissed my way from her mouth down to her perfect breasts waiting for me, barely hidden in her black lace bra. Just enough for my hands, they were exactly what this breast man loved. As I kissed and nipped at her skin, I unhooked the bra and threw it off to where her shirt had landed a few feet away. She ran her fingers through my hair, tugging gently to urge me on. “What if your neighbors see, though?” “It’s the middle of the night,” I mumbled against her soft skin. “They should be asleep or at least not peeking out their windows. Either way,” I said low as I slid my finger under her shorts to tease her clit, “I don’t care. Let them watch.” Moaning softly, she unbuttoned her shorts and slid them down her legs. Now only a thin cotton barrier remained between my tongue and her pussy. First, though, I had other areas to attend to. I pulled the chair over from the corner of the balcony and sat down, pulling Shay onto my lap so my mouth had perfect access to her delicious dark pink nipples I could spend hours sucking on. Taking one between my lips, I flicked my tongue over it and felt it harden in my mouth. I loved Shay’s body, but especially her breasts. A needy moan escaped her lips telling me she loved my attention there too. I bit down gently on the base of her nipple, knowing she enjoyed a little pain with her pleasure, and felt a hand tighten into a fist in my hair. “Oh, God…I love when you do that,” she whimpered above me. I looked up at her and saw her watching me. Grinning, I opened my mouth and slowly bit down again as her eyes closed in ecstasy. I couldn’t let the other one feel neglected, so I moved over to her left nipple and sucked it hard into my mouth, loving the sound of her moan as it filled my ears. Shay’s hands fumbled with the button on my pants and then my zipper as she scrambled to move our lovemaking to the next level. I liked foreplay, but if she wanted to kick it up a notch, I was all about that too.

She slipped my cock out and stroked me from balls to tip, sending my body into overdrive. Her nipple still in my mouth, I bit down hard and heard her squeal above me, “Ooohh!” Yanking my head back, she stared down at me with a look of pure need in her eyes. “I need you inside me. Now, Stefan.” I tore her panties off and grabbed her hips hard in my hands. Lifting her off me, I thrust my hips off the chair and rammed my cock into her wet and waiting cunt, loving the feel of her around me. Shay moaned and kissed me long and deep as I began to move her up and down on me. Suddenly, her eyes grew wide and she shook her head as she pushed down on my hands to stop her movement. “You’re not wearing a condom. We need to stop.” “I don’t want to stop,” I said as I moved my hands back into position on her hips. “Whatever happens, we’re together.” She shook her head again. “No. I can’t risk getting pregnant.” I sat there with my cock still inside her and knew she was right. She was leaving and nothing could change that. Even if all I wanted to do was change that fact. Nodding, I gently lifted her off me and sat there as she picked up her clothes. She turned to me and held out her hand. “Come on. We can pick up where we left off inside.” I straightened myself and took her hand as she led me to my bedroom. Still rock hard, my cock stood ready to go, but the rest of me couldn’t shake the truth of her leaving. I’d ignored it best as I could, but I couldn’t anymore. Shay and I were on borrowed time, and in less than two months the happiest time of my adult life would be over. “Stefan, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t. We were always just supposed to be about having a good time, remember?” I tried to force a smile, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want just a good time anymore. “I know. It’s just that things changed. I don’t know when or how, but I want more than that.” Shay pulled me down onto the bed and kissed me, making me wish I could stop time right at that moment. “And across the city hearts just broke.” I looked down into her green eyes and told her what I’d never said to any other woman before. “I don’t care about any of them. It’s all you. It’s been all you since that night on the beach.” She cradled my face and smiled. “Don’t think about the future. Think about right now the two of us here together.” I tried to do that as I made love to her, giving her everything I had of myself, but for the first time ever I wasn’t able to use sex to push away thoughts of something bad. Now all sex did was make me realize how much I cared about her and how much it was going to hurt when she left. SHAY LAY HER HEAD ON my chest and silently traced her finger over the tattoo across my ribs, but I sensed there was something on her mind. My fingers stroked her long brown hair, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “What’s up, princess? I get the feeling you have something to say.” Shaking her head, she murmured, “Uh-uh,” but I didn’t believe her. There was a problem. “Tell me. Remember? The honesty thing between us?” She craned her neck to look up at me. “I’m just wondering how many women have been here before me.” Burying her head in my chest, she whispered, “I’m sorry.” “I deserve these questions. I know. The way I’ve lived my life makes them valid questions. The answer is none. I’ve never had anyone here before you.” Rolling away from me, she looked up at the ceiling and frowned. “Don’t lie. It makes it worse.”

I slid over next to her and gently turned her head toward me. “I’m not lying. I have an office at the club, remember?” “No one? Ever?” “No one.” Her green eyes wide with curiosity, she asked, “Then why did you ask me to come here tonight?” “I wanted you to see my place before I lost it. I wanted to impress you.” Shay blew the air out of her lungs and looked up toward the ceiling again. “That doesn’t sound like a very good lie.” “No lie. Trust me. I’m much smoother than that. If I wanted to lie, I’m pretty good at it. I could have thought of a good one.” She knitted her brows and turned toward me. “You shouldn’t tell me you’re a good liar. Why would I believe anything you say?” “Because we’ve got that trust thing between us. I like telling you the truth, Shay. You never pull your punches, but you show me your respect even when you’re telling me I’m doing something stupid or you disagree with me. I like having that in my life. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.” “I don’t know what to think about you. You’ve been nothing but a man whore your entire adult life, and now you tell me you aren’t that person anymore because of me. But I didn’t do anything. I didn’t tell you to change. I didn’t insist you be anyone but yourself. Why would you be different now?” “Because of you. It’s as simple as that, and trust me, I’m a master of simple. I’ve been that all my life.” “There’s nothing simple about you, Stefan March. You seemed to be one thing, and I knew how to think about that person. Then we starting spending time together, and I found out you were entirely different than I thought. But somewhere deep in my mind I still wonder if all of this is a façade you’ll shake at some point, and I’ll be left hating myself for believing you were anything but that person I met that first day.” I pulled her close to me and held her. “I guess you’re going to have to take a chance and believe the leopard skin was just a coat and underneath is just a sexy tiger.” “These animal metaphors are getting confusing,” she said with a tiny smile. “Then just trust your gut, or if it’s telling you to leave and never come back, trust your heart. That’s what I’m doing.” Shay snuggled up against me and hugged me to her. “I’m never going to forgive you if you turn out to be that guy. Just so you know.” I kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes to listen to the soft sound of her breathing in and out. If she needed more convincing to believe I wasn’t that old Stefan anymore, then that’s what I’d have to do. As she fell asleep on my chest, I thought about her never forgiving me if I let her down and hated the empty feeling I got inside. I know, Shay. I know. I won’t let you down.

* AFTER TAKING SHAY BACK TO her place to get her bathing suit because she refused to let me buy her one, we headed down to the water for a few hours of jet skiing. I hadn’t ridden in nearly three weeks, but as soon as I got on the water I realized how much I’d missed it. Like on my bike, Shay wrapped her arms around me, but she held on a little too tightly. Turning around, I saw the fear in her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve never been on one of these,” she admitted. “It’s just like my bike. Just hold on. I won’t let anything hurt you.” “It’s not that.” Shay bit her lip nervously and knitted her brows. “I don’t know how to swim. Even though I have this life jacket on, this is scary.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” Shay lowered her head. “I didn’t want to be boring.” “Princess, you’re never boring. If you don’t want to do this, just say the word and we can do whatever you want today.” She shook her head and looked up at me. “No, I want to. I’ve lived here all my life and never gone out on the water.” “I’ll take it slow at first, and when you’re ready, just let me know, okay?” Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and nodded. “Okay. If I hang on too tight, just tell me. Water just freaks me out.” “Shay, we don’t have to do this.” She forced a smile and squeezed her arms around my waist. “I’ve got my sunscreen and life jacket on, so I’m ready. Let’s do this!” I took it easy, but from the moment the engine started, her cheek was pressed to my back and her arms locked tightly around me. For the first few minutes, her hands trembled against my stomach, but then slowly her hold on me eased and before long I heard her giggling behind me. “This is so much fun! I had no idea!” she squealed in my ear. I sped up and yelled back, “Hold on!” “Don’t go so fast! Stefan! Not so fast!” I covered her hand on my waist with mine and squeezed gently to let her know she was safe. “It’s okay. I’m here. I won’t let you get hurt. Don’t let go!” We soared across the water, bouncing against the waves and one another for hours, and her fear gradually evolved into trust for me. When she got frightened, she yelled and squeezed me tighter so I slowed down. After a while, she didn’t even have to say anything. I knew a squeeze meant slow down, so I did. Pulling up to the dock, I let her off and took the jet ski back to where I kept it before meeting up with her to take her home. I’d had a great time, but she stayed quiet as we walked to my bike. I had pushed her past her limits a few times, so maybe it had been too much? “You okay?” I asked as I reached out for her hand. She looked down as my fingers weaved in between hers and shook her head. “Yeah. That was fun.” “We can do it again, if you like.” Shay stopped and turned to face me. “I’d like that.” “Good. It’s a date.” “A date…” “We can call it that now, you know. That’s sort of what we’re doing together.” Shay smiled up at me, making me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. “Dating, huh? The women of Tampa will never believe it.” “Funny. I don’t care what they believe. All I care about is that you believe in us.” I stopped in front of my bike and took her in my arms. “Tell me you believe in us. I need to hear it from you, Shay.” She hesitated for a few moments and then finally said, “I believe you want me to see the best in you, Stefan. I believe all this has happened so fast that I’m scared of what we’re doing even more than I am of being in the water. But I believe I’ve never been happier with anyone in my life, so I’m trying to forget

about my doubts and fears.” I cupped her face and kissed her softly, wishing we were back in my bedroom with me buried deep inside her. “You’ll see. I’ll put all those doubts and fears to shame. Then all you’ll have is that happiness.” My phone vibrated, and I looked to see a text from Cash. Need to talk this afternoon. “Duty calls. Time for me to go meet with my brothers. Let me get you back to your place.”

* CASH AND KANE SAT IN their usual places around Cash’s desk when I walked in feeling like I was bouncing on air. Unable to keep the grin off my face, I asked, “What’s up, big brothers?” “Stef, you look different today? What’s going on?” Cash asked, immediately suspicious of my happiness. “Just off a midday quickie in your office with the flavor of the week?” Kane added in his usual ballbusting way. I sat down and laced my fingers behind my head. “About that. I’m dating Shay. Feel free to be jealous, Kane.” “I’m happy for you, Stef,” Cash said with a smile I knew was genuine. “I figured as much when I saw you two at the hospital. She’s not your usual type, though, little brother. Does this mean you’re finally growing up?” “I’m a changed man, gentlemen. The man whore is gone, replaced by the man you see in front of you, happy with one woman.” “No way,” Kane said with a sneer. “I don’t believe it.” “I can understand your jealousy. Shay’s got it all—looks, brains, a great personality.” “A great personality? When the hell have you ever cared about a great personality? And what happened to you two just being friends? I knew that was total bullshit. Even more important, does Lola know?” “We didn’t want to be just friends. And I have no goddamned idea what Lola knows.” Cash cleared his throat and both Kane and I stopped our sniping at one another to look at him. “You and your love life are sort of what this meeting is about. Shank seems to be more and more miserable every time I speak to him. He called me this morning and between the veiled threats and his tone of voice, I get the feeling Lola already knows you’re off the market and has told Daddy. I don’t begrudge you happiness, Stef, but this thing with Lola is getting away from you.” “Have you made any progress finding anyone else who can help us? There’s got to be someone in this town who’s willing to help us with more power than that scumbag Shank. We’ve got politicians and businessmen as members here. Can’t they help?” “I’m working on it, but this kind of thing takes time. I can’t just meet with someone and ask them if they want to help us keep the illegal activities of the club under wraps so the cops don’t close us down. It requires a little more finesse than that. I’ve got a councilman I think might be able to help, but I need more time.” I looked at Cash and Kane and shook my head. “I’m not fucking up what I have with Shay over this.” Cash quickly put up his hands to calm me down. “We’re not saying you have to ruin anything, Stefan. We just need to figure out how to handle this. Lola isn’t happy, and now her father isn’t happy.” “Well, then we need to think of something else because sleeping with Lola isn’t an answer anymore, Cash. I can’t do that to Shay.”

“We’ll take care of it. We always do, don’t we?” Cash said, trying to reassure me. “I think I speak for Kane too when I say we wouldn’t ask you to hurt someone for us or the club.” I looked over at Kane and searched for the truth in his face. Did he agree with Cash or would he be that same guy he’d been for so long when it came to me? Kane nodded. “Cash is right. No matter what I think of the mess with Lola, I don’t want to see you hurt Shay because of your past mistakes. She’s the only woman you’ve ever been with that didn’t disgust me.” “I’ll make sure to tell her,” I joked. “I’m sure she’ll love the compliment.” “But that doesn’t change the fact that the minute you and Shay let the rest of the world know you’re together, Shank’s days of helping us are over.” “We’ve already decided to play it cool. No public displays of affection at the club here. No acting like we’re a couple.” “I bet that was Shay’s idea,” Cash said with a chuckle. “It was. In my opinion, I should be able to date whoever the fuck I want, but she didn’t want the rest of the staff to know and give her grief for it. Another one of the great parts of her—her brain.” “I don’t think it matters if you put your relationship of display or not, Stefan,” Kane said somberly. “You’re not sleeping with Lola, which no doubt makes her unhappy. That will be enough for Shank, if she tells him.” Cash and Kane continued to discuss the Shank problem, but I didn’t tell them that Lola had all but warned me that if things didn’t go back to the way they were between us before Shay that her father wouldn’t help us anymore. I’d been able to handle her that night, but I had to think of something else because sweet-talking her wasn’t going to work anymore. I got up to leave, already sick of dealing with this Shank and his daughter bullshit for the day. “Let me know if you think of anything. In the meantime, I’ll try to be as busy as possible when Lola’s around so there’s no chance of her thinking we could be together.” Cash nodded his head and smiled. “Mom’s being released this afternoon. You want to come with me when I go to pick her up?” “Sure. Maybe I’ll hang out at the house until right before work tonight. That way I can make sure she’s okay and avoid Lola.” “Good. I’ll find you on my way out in about an hour.” I headed out to my office to relax and text Shay until it was time to go to the hospital. I already missed her more than I’d ever missed any woman before her, a new feeling for me but one I liked. Hey, my mother’s being discharged this afternoon & I’m going to hang out with her until work. See you then.

She texted back immediately Tell her I said I’m happy she’s feeling better. Getting her more magazines? LOL Never going to let me live that down huh? Better watch out or I won’t spoil you like that. :) Uh oh. I better be nice then. See you tonight. XOXO

I stared at those letters on my screen as my smile grew larger. XOXO. I heard my door open and looked up to see Shank standing in my office doorway. “Stefan, I’d like to speak to you. I think we need to talk.” “Sure. Come on in,” I said as I put my phone aside. He closed the door behind him and took a seat in the single chair in front of my desk. His greasy hair looked oil-soaked and even his clothes had a grimy look to them as I looked at him now. He really was a scumbag. “What’s up, John?” I asked, forcing a smile, even though I guessed what this visit was for. Shank rubbed his tongue over his teeth as if he was cleaning them and made a clucking noise. “I like you, Stefan. My daughter likes you even more than I do. You know that, don’t you?”

“Lola’s my best bartender, John. That’s why I made her head bartender over everyone else. I’d be lost without her. In fact, I just told her that the other night.” “She said something like that. She’s a good girl, my Lola. A little too trusting, but she gets that from her mother, God rest her soul. Lola had to endure being brought up by me after her mother died when she was just seven. I’d hoped some of my suspicious nature would have rubbed off on her, but it doesn’t seem to have.” “The members love her. She’s got a great look and when I put her up on the fourth floor all alone last week, she made a killing off a member who took a shine to her.” Shank smiled, and I barely kept my stomach in check as my gaze settled on those disgusting half-rotten teeth of his on full display for me. “That’s nice to hear, Stefan, but you know why I’m here. Let’s not pretend you don’t. Lola doesn’t care about any members. She likes you, and until recently, you seemed to like her enough to sleep with her.” And there it was. The truth of why Shank sat there in front of me at that moment. Nothing like pimping your daughter out, dude. I tried to control my expression, but I was sure my eyes were as wide as saucers. “Well, John…I don’t know what to say here. Lola is a very nice girl, but I’ve been warned by our lawyers that I shouldn’t fraternize with employees.” Christ, I sounded like Cash. Even I didn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, so it was no surprise that Shank didn’t believe them either. Leaning forward, he tapped his palm on the top of my desk. “Do you think I’m a moron, Stefan?” I shook my head. “Not at all, John.” Moron? No. Scumbag who thought too much of his own power? Yeah. Leaning back in his chair, he crossed his right leg over his other knee and glared at me. “I’m not likely to want to help you and your brothers if my daughter isn’t happy, and Lola isn’t happy right now, Stefan. What do you plan to do about this?” Had he, in not so many words, told me to go back to fucking his daughter? My shoulders sagged as the realization that he’d done just that settled into my brain. Now was the time for me to take a stand and tell this fuck to take his thinly veiled threats of not helping us and shove them up his ass. But then the thought of Cash and Olivia’s wedding popped into my head. For the first time in years, my brother was happy. How could I do anything to ruin that happiness? How could I be the one to take that happiness from him for the second time in his life? If I could just play off Shank and Lola until the wedding or until Cash convinced that councilman to help us, I’d be able to finally make up for all the pain I’d caused him. “Don’t worry, John. I hear you loud and clear.” He studied me for a long moment and then grinned as if what I’d said made him happy. As if some guy telling you he’ll go back to fucking your daughter over his desk was a good thing. “Good to hear it, son. I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Standing, he extended his hand to shake mine, and I reluctantly touched his skin, sure I should boil my hand immediately after. “Nice to see you again, John.” Shank headed toward the door and turned around just before he left. “You know what’s best about you, Stefan? Where Cassian is principled and Kane is just fucking scary, you’re a man I can deal with because you’re always looking out for your own hide. You take after me that way. I’ll be sure to tell Lola you said hi.” The door closed behind him and I sat back in my chair stunned at his description of me. More accurate than not, it sickened me. But he wasn’t wrong. I’d looked out for myself and not given a fuck about anyone

else for so long I deserved to be thought of as someone like him. But now I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I had the best reason in the world not to be.

Chapter Twenty-One

Shay F OR THE FIRST TIME IN my life, I couldn’t say I was sure about what I should do. The time Stefan and I had spent together, first as friends and now as so much more, made me happier than I’d ever been with a man. He brought out things in me I didn’t know existed. Countless friends and boyfriends had tried everything from pleading to cajoling to threatening to get me on the water, and never once had I been able to push aside my fears and join them. Like my fear of enclosed spaces, my dread of water had been with me for as long as I could remember. But Stefan had walked in on those fears and before each one of them could make their case so he’d leave and let them win, he took my hand and pulled me out of where they reigned supreme to go with him. He never told me where we were going but just that he’d be there with me. Never before had that been enough. A voice in the back of my mind whispered now, “Will it always be enough?” That was the question, wasn’t it? Right now, Stefan made me smile and laugh, and if I didn’t think about the future, I wanted things to last forever with him. But they couldn’t. I had to leave soon. But even more—even if I didn’t have to leave—could what we were now ever last? Someone knocking at my door roused me from my thoughts and I wondered if Stefan had left his mother’s early. I hurried to answer it and saw Carrie waiting on the other side with a bottle of my favorite wine and two glasses. “I’m here to celebrate!” “Did I do something and I don’t know yet?” I asked as I stepped aside to let her in. “Not you! Me. I found out who the thief was and took care of her stealing ass. So I wanted to celebrate and since you’ve been routinely avoiding my calls, texts, and every other attempt to get together, I figured I’d come over and tempt you with something I knew you wouldn’t say no to. Where’s the corkscrew?” “Carrie, I have work in a few hours. I can’t drink now.” Giving me one of her trademark pouts, she said, “Not even a glass? Don’t be such a philistine. Europeans drink with every meal, or so I hear. You need to get practicing for when you go there.” I rolled my eyes and smiled. “I can do one glass, but that’s it. One. No more.” On her way to my kitchen to open the bottle, she yelled back, “Fine. One is enough, and while we’re celebrating, you can catch me up on all the things I’ve missed in your life since you’ve been avoiding me.” “I haven’t been avoiding you,” I mumbled, silently acknowledging that since I’d been devoting so much time to Stefan that it probably looked like I was avoiding her. She returned with two glasses of wine and handed me one. “I’ve just been busy with a few things.” Clanking my glass, she asked, “Cheers! Anyone I know or want to know?” I took a sip and nodded. “Stefan March and I have been—” I didn’t exactly know how to put it. “— dating, I guess.” Stunned at my announcement, Carrie began choking on her drink and spilled half the glass of wine

down the front of her shirt. “Dating? He’s a player, Shay. They don’t date.” “I’m just telling you what he calls it. We’re dating.” “Why does it sound like you’re reporting the death of someone when you say that?” she asked as she dabbed a cloth on her wine-stained shirt. “Aren’t people usually happy to say they’re dating someone new?” “I am. I just don’t know if this is something I should be doing right now.” Carrie screwed her face into a grimace. “Why? You said he was great in bed. What’s the problem?” “Do you ever think of anything but sex? You’re as bad as a man whore.” “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Shay, you’re leaving in a few weeks, remember? That was the reason you said you couldn’t get serious with poor Elliot. As long as you’re having a good time with Stefan, what’s the problem? You’ll leave right after Christmas and he’ll go back to doing his thing after you both had a few good weeks together. Isn’t that what you want?” The thought of Stefan going back to “doing his thing” made my stomach twist into knots. I hated the idea of him being that person I loathed from the moment I met him. That person was so much less than the man I’d seen in the recent weeks. Would he revert back to that man whore once I was gone? “I guess. I don’t know why I’m even thinking about it. We’re having a good time, just the way I like it.” “Seems to me you want something more than a good time. I’m just wondering if Stefan March is the right man for that. Leopards don’t change their spots, honey.” I took another sip of wine. “Maybe they were just tigers wearing a leopard coat and they really have tiger stripes.” Carrie wrinkled her nose. It’s true that statement had sounded better coming from Stefan than it did from me. “I don’t know what the hell that means, but it sounds like bullshit. Leopards are leopards. Period. They don’t walk around wearing other animals’ coats. I think the wine has gotten to you, Shay.” “Whatever. You’re right. We’re just two people having a good time while we can, and when I leave for Copenhagen, we’ll go back to our separate lives the way they used to be.” “Exactly! Carpe diem is what I say. As long as you’re having a good time and no one has any expectations, it’s all good.” Then why did I feel like shit thinking about him going back to his life the way it used to be?

* I GOT TO WORK BY seven, but there was no sign of Stefan in the club or his office. Nobody seemed to know where he was. Lola stood behind the front bar staring at his office door, as if that would make him suddenly materialize, but after the third person knocked and found it empty, she turned to me with a look like I knew something about where he was and was keeping it secret. “Do you think everything’s all right? Stefan’s always here for the beginning of the night. What should we do?” she asked, her blue eyes wide with concern. “You’re head bartender. I guess if in the event the owner can’t fulfill his duties, it falls to the runner up to step in.” A look of complete confusion crossed Lola’s face, and I guessed she didn’t get my reference to the Miss America rules. Trying a more direct approach, I said, “Since you’re the head bartender, I think you can go ahead and assign people tonight. If Stefan wants to change them when he gets here, he will.” “I don’t know. I don’t want to get in trouble. I just don’t understand, though. My father told me he saw

him just a few hours ago. Where could he be?” I had no idea what Lola was talking about with her father, but the fact remained that Stefan was nowhere to be found and the club would be open in just under an hour. Members didn’t need to see bartenders and servers just wandering around because nobody had told them where to go. “If you don’t want to do it, maybe someone should go back and see if Cassian is around.” That suggestion made a look of terror settle into Lola’s eyes. “I’ve never spoken to him since that first day. I don’t know him well enough.” “I can do it, if you don’t want to tell everyone where to go and don’t want to ask him.” “Oh, would you?” I shrugged, confused by her fear of Stefan’s brother. “Sure. I’ll be right back.” Cassian’s office door was open a crack, so I stuck my head in and saw him working on his laptop. Quietly, I knocked and said, “Sorry to bother you, but we’ve got a little issue out in the club.” He looked up and smiled, his piercing blue eyes focusing on me. “What’s up?” “Stefan’s not here, and Lola doesn’t feel comfortable telling everyone where to go tonight.” “Not here? He came back with me after we got my mother settled in.” “Maybe he got sick,” I offered, feeling strange about coming up with excuses for Stefan. “He didn’t text you and tell you he’d be late?” Cassian asked, adding, “He told me you two are dating, so I just figured if he didn’t tell one of us, he would have told you.” “No. The last time I heard from him was when he told me he was going with you to the hospital. I just figured I’d see him here tonight.” “Do me a favor and text him now. He’ll answer you faster than he’ll answer me,” Cassian said with a chuckle. Taking my phone out, I typed in Hey, where are you? Lola doesn’t know what to do without some direction here. LOL Cassian and I waited for a few minutes, joking about Stefan likely losing track of time, but he didn’t reply to my text. I tried again and still nothing. “Let me try, although if he’s not answering you, he’s likely in the shower or something.” Cassian texted him and then again five minutes later and got no answer either. “I’ll keep trying to get a hold of him, but let me make sure everyone knows where they should go at least.” I smiled, pretending not to be worried, but Stefan’s absence from the club and his not answering texts made me concerned. Cassian gave everyone their assignments for the night, and as he left the club to walk back to his office, he pulled me aside. “Olivia and I have a benefit to attend tonight, but I’ll keep trying him until we leave. If I get him, I’ll let you know. Olivia has your number, right?” I nodded and quietly said, “Okay. I’ll keep trying too. I’m sure everything’s okay. It’s Stefan. He lives for this place.” Cassian seemed relieved by what I said, but as he walked away, I couldn’t help feel uneasy. Something was wrong. BY TWO O’CLOCK, I COULDN’T wait to get to Stefan’s place. Even though I’d continued to text him all night, I’d never gotten a reply. Cassian had messaged me right after midnight to say there was no need to worry, but he’d given no other details. But just hearing that there was no need to worry while Stefan refused to answer my texts told me there was every reason to be worried. I knocked on his door and hoped he’d even answer, convinced by that time that everything I’d feared since the beginning with him had finally happened. I’d let myself trust him, even the tiny amount I’d

allowed, and now he’d done something and couldn’t face me. The door opened and I saw him standing there looking like I’d never seen him before. He clung to the door like a dying man to a life line, as if the door held him up. His hair, usually playfully tousled, looked a mess, and his eyes were bloodshot. “Can I come in?” He nodded and took a step back to allow me through, but his legs gave out and he slid to the floor still holding on to the door. Laughing wildly, he slammed the door and sat there in the spot where he landed. “Come to find out where I was, huh? Well, you came to the right place! Come on in!” “I’m already in. What’s going on?” Stefan struggled to get to his feet and motioned for me to come to him. “I just wanted to have a night to myself to drink myself into a stupor. That’s all.” “I’ve been texting you all night. Why didn’t you answer? Cassian said there was no need to worry, so I assume you answered him.” “Come here. I want to feel you next to me, Shay. Come here.” I walked into his open arms and felt his body sag against mine as he hugged me. “Stefan, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” He sighed heavily and buried his face in my hair. “You feel so good, Shay. I missed you so fucking much.” “It’s only been a few hours since we saw each other. Why didn’t you come to work?” He pushed me away and walked toward the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the coffee table. Taking a gulp, he swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t want to think of that fucking place. I don’t want to think of anything but you and me right here, okay?” “I thought something had happened. Lola nearly lost her mind worrying, although I have no idea why anyone would worry about their boss not being around if they were head bartender. You should have seen her. She—” “I said I didn’t want to think of that place! No Club X, no bullshit about me not being there! And no fucking Lola!” he yelled so loud I stepped back, stunned at his outburst. “Okay. I’m sorry. Maybe I should leave,” I said quietly as I went for the door, not wanting to go but unable to see how I could stay with him acting like he was. “Shay, don’t go,” he said in a voice that sounded desperate. “Please don’t leave.” “I don’t want to, Stefan, but I can’t be with you when you’re so volatile. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t help if you won’t talk to me.” His brown eyes filled with sadness stared at me and I let my hand drop from the doorknob as he said quietly, “Nothing can help.” I couldn’t let him stand there so sad without trying to make him feel better, so I walked over to him and took him in my arms. Looking up at him, I said, “Talk to me. Remember the truth thing between us? You can tell me anything.” He kissed me and smiled, but I could tell it was forced. “I heard my father joke one time that I was the spare. You know, the heir and the spare? My mother gave him hell for saying it near me, but he never said he was sorry because he meant it. Cash was the one he wanted. Hell, I think he might have even wanted Kane more. He looks like my father too.” “Don’t do this to yourself.” “Do you know what I did? I slept with my brother’s wife. I knew it was wrong, and I did it anyway. Cash had never been happier, and I took it all away from him.” I didn’t know what to say. He seemed intent on taking this trip down memory lane, but why?

“I’ll never forget his face when he caught us. He looked like my father standing there, but his eyes were filled with hurt. I did it in his own fucking bed too.” “Stefan, stop. Don’t do this.” “I’ve been a shit for so long I thought I didn’t know any other way. I bet I could get you to fall in love with me, for Christ’s sake. What kind of person does that?” I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him so he’d stop this self-punishment. I didn’t know why he needed to beat himself up like this, but it was tearing me up to see him so broken. “You’re not just that person, Stefan. You’re so much more, so please stop this,” I pleaded as he hung his head. “Cash and Olivia’s engagement party is just days away. I finally have the chance to make up for the awful things I did, but I can’t without fucking everything up. I don’t know how to get out of this.” He dropped to his knees and pressed his cheek to my stomach. His arms tightened around me like he was afraid if he let go I’d slip away. I had no idea what he meant by the things he was saying, but I wanted so much to help him get out of whatever he’d done. I stroked his soft hair and whispered, “Whatever it is, we can get through it. Just tell me what it is and I’ll help.” In a voice full of agony, he continued talking. “He just stood there staring for what seemed like forever. Rachel rushed to cover herself and began rambling that we hadn’t meant for it to happen, but I never said a thing. I had meant for it to happen. I wanted her and wouldn’t give up until I had her. She realized she wasn’t going to talk her way out of it, so she ran to the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving me there with him staring at me with those eyes so fucking full of pain. And betrayal. Fuck, his own brother in his bed fucking his wife. And then he finally said to me, ‘Someday, Stefan, you’ll love someone and the person you are—the fucking soulless, empty shell you are—she’ll see the truth and you won’t be enough. Your money, your looks won’t be enough. I hope I’m there to see that day.’ And then he just walked out, leaving me in his bed.” “You’re enough, Stefan. More than enough. He was just hurt.” “I don’t know how to be enough. I don’t know how to get out of this.” I lowered myself to the floor and knelt in front of him to look into those eyes so full of pain. “Out of what? What we have? Do you mean you don’t know how to get out of being with me? What’s happened?” “No! You’re the only thing right about me. Why would I want to lose you? If I don’t have you, all I am is that empty shell Cash saw that night.” “Then no more talk about this. I’m not going anywhere, and no matter what it is that’s haunting you, I’m by your side.” Stefan closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you, Shay. I know everything you know about me tells you to not believe me, but I do. Don’t ever doubt that.” He slumped against a chair and hung his head. I wanted to tell him he’d won the bet, but I didn’t. Not like this. It meant too much.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Stefan AVOIDING CASH AND KANE’S TEXTS all day, I rolled into the club just before seven and immediately headed for my office, hoping to barricade myself in there before any of the bartending staff arrived. I’d spent the day trying to figure out a way to avoid Lola yet still be in the building with her, and that was the best idea I’d come up with. Maybe it was because I was nursing a hangover, but for a moment as I stood in the shower trying to come back to life the idea had seemed like a great one. I sat behind my desk basically hiding out from the reality that awaited me when I went out into the club, sending Shay messages and hoping by some divine intervention that I wouldn’t have to face the Lola issue. My phone buzzed to alert me to a text, and I looked down to see Shay’s message. Feeling any better? She had no idea of the implications of that question. I may have been recovering from too much whiskey, but that was the least of my problems. Yeah. Thanks for taking care of me last night. Always. XOXO I’ll see you in a few.

I typed I love you and stared down at my phone, unsure if I should send the message. I’d said it to her the night before and meant it, but she never said anything in return. Not that I needed her to, but I wondered if I should wait until we were alone and I was sober to tell her for real. Backspacing through the words, I typed I’ll be here. The truth of my life. I’ll be here. My gut twisted into knots as I wracked my brain for a way out. There was no way out. By nearly eight o’clock, I couldn’t avoid my life anymore. I had to face whatever waited for me outside my office door. All I knew was this: I couldn’t fuck up the great thing I had with Shay. I headed out into the club and played the role I’d always played. I flirted with Jana, smiled at Kerry, and even did the playful thing with Mika, who thankfully needed a job more than she wanted to sue me. All the while, I felt two sets of eyes on me. Shay’s, as she watched over me, her gaze full of concern, and Lola’s, as she waited to make eye contact with me to let me know she knew what her father had said to me the day before and she expected something. I was so easy to predict. She and her father expected me to act the way I always had. That acting that way meant treating her like dirt didn’t seem to bother them, but now it bothered me. I wasn’t that man anymore, but when my eyes met Lola’s across the bar, it was obvious that whatever change I thought I’d accomplished meant nothing to her. She made a beeline for me, plastering herself to my side as I stood alone near my office door, and in the voice I’d once thought as cute, said, “Stefan, can we talk?” “I’ve got a lot going on tonight, Lo, but how about later?” I looked down and saw her innocent blue eyes all wide and staring up at me. She played the game perfectly for the old Stefan, but this Stefan could barely stand the sight of her and that feigned innocence she projected. “After the club closes…” she paused for a long moment before she finished her sentence. “…in your office?”

I gave a slight nod of my head and looked away toward the bar where Shay stood setting up for the night. Somehow not saying the word meant something to me, but Lola pressed me to say it. “Is that a yes?” My mouth turned dry, and I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat painful. “Yeah. After the club closes.” “You’re the best, Stefan,” she chirped before she headed back to stand next to the woman I loved and who had no idea what Lola was capable of. Yeah. I’m the best. THE NIGHT FLEW BY, AND each time Shay spoke to me, I became angrier, not at her but at myself. Every moment that ticked by marked another I hadn’t been able to find a way to keep her and Cash unharmed by my mistakes. My mind began to spin wildly concocting every manner of excuse why I couldn’t be in my office after the club closed, but there was no reason I shouldn’t be there. I was trapped. “Hey, what’s up?” she said quietly on her way to the ladies’ room just before midnight as I stood staring out at the crowd of people having the time of their lives. “You look so sad. Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” I bit out, sure if I said much more I’d hurt her. Shay looked up at me with concern in her beautiful green eyes. “I know we said we didn’t want anyone here to know about us, but if there’s something going on, I’m here for you.” “I’m fine, Shay.” “Okay. What do you say we hit that Mexican restaurant again after work? I could use another meal that makes my eyes tear.” Shaking my head, I forced a smile. “Not tonight. I have work to do and then I’m going to head back to my place.” “Oh, okay. Is everything all right?” A crowd of people walked by us and I smiled and patted the men on the back like I was supposed to, but once they passed us, I turned toward her and said, “I’m fucking fine. Okay? We can talk tomorrow.” The hurt instantly registered in her expression, but she fought showing me how big a dick I’d been. “Fine. I have to get back.” She marched away back toward the front bar as I stood there hating every word I’d said to her. What the fuck was I doing? The rest of the night went by in a blur. Even a few shots of tequila didn’t take the edge off, and when Shay left right before three in the morning, we barely spoke more than to say our goodbyes for the night, like I did with everyone else on my staff. Somehow I believed that if I didn’t treat her any differently than anyone else, even now when I needed her the most, then what I was about to do wouldn’t hurt her. I stood in front of my office door and saw Kane emerge from the top floors like some kind of awful reminder of what I had to do. He walked toward me looking unusually pleased with something and stopped next to me. “What’s up, Stefan? Where’s Shay tonight?” “She’s not here. What do you want, Kane?” The smile slid from his face. “Nothing. I just wanted to say hi. We had a good night upstairs—no fights, no members I had to school on how to behave—so I thought I’d come down here to see how you two are. I figured she’d still be here.” I shook my head and stared off in the distance at Lola as she pretended to work while she waited for the last few bartenders and servers to leave for the night. Kane said something, but it sounded all jumbled and I turned to look at him, confused. “What?”

“Nothing. I just commented on how busy we were tonight.” “Has Cash had any more success with that councilman so we can tell Shank to fuck off?” I asked, desperate to hear anything come from Kane’s mouth that even hinted at the idea that I didn’t have to do what I was about to do. “No, nothing yet.” I watched Gabe and Kerry walk past on their way out. Lola saw them too and stopped her pretend work to look over at me and wink. Turning to Kane, I nodded. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” “Everything okay with you? You seem off tonight.” “Yeah, I’m fine. Good night, Kane.” Before I could get into my office, Lola was right there by my side possessively running her hand over my bicep. “Hi, Kane! What’s up? We never really see you down here.” “Not much. Had a good night so I figured I’d come down to see Stefan here. You headed out?” With a big smile, she said, “Not yet. Stefan and I have to have a meeting first, but then it’s straight home to bed for me. A girl needs her beauty rest.” Instantly, I saw the look of recognition in my brother’s eyes. He touched Lola on the arm and chuckled, “Well, give me a few moments with him and then he’s all yours, okay?” “Okay. Stefan, can I wait in your office?” “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be in in a minute.” Lola closed the door behind her and Kane roughly pulled me toward the front bar. “I think I know what’s going on, but you know what this will do if Shay finds out.” All the anger and all the frustration of not finding a way out of the whole Lola-Shank mess exploded out of me. “For months, you’ve been telling me I have to keep her happy. Even when I understood, you kept telling me, hammering it into my brain as if I was too stupid to understand. I got it. Cash hasn’t been able to find anyone to replace Shank for what we need, so I’ll do what you’ve lectured me about over and fucking over!” “Don’t do this, Stefan. Don’t listen to all those times I said to keep her happy. Listen to me now. You do this and whatever you have with Shay will be ruined, even if she doesn’t find out, which she probably will from Lola herself. Don’t do this.” “I don’t have a choice. Do you think I haven’t tried to find a way out of this? Cash and Olivia are getting married in a few months. He’s finally happy. I can’t let my fuckup with Lola ruin that. I can’t do that to him again.” “Holy fuck! That’s what this is? You think whatever you’re going to do with her is going to make what you did with Rachel all better? Cash forgave you, Stefan. Let it go. You two have a thing for living in the past, but this is going to ruin you and Shay.” “I can’t let this Shank problem ruin his happiness, Kane. If I could find a way out of this and still know the club would be safe, I’d be at Shay’s right now, but there’s nothing I can do.” I pulled my arm from his grasp and walked away as he repeated his warning about what would happen if I went into my office, but I wasn’t listening anymore. As I closed the door, I heard him walk up the stairs and leave me to deal with the mess I’d made. Seated behind my desk in my usual position when Lola and I got together, I stared at her as she sat patiently waiting for me. “What’s up, Lo?” “My father told me he came to talk to you the other day. I promise I didn’t ask him to, Stefan.” I didn’t know what she expected me to say. Thank you? Was I supposed to say thank you for not directly telling your father to threaten the happiness of everyone around me even though the end result was the same?

“Are you mad at me?” Yes. No. I didn’t know who to be mad at. “I’m not mad, Lola.” Her eyes filled with fear. “Yes, you are. I can tell. You never call me by my full name. Not since the first time we were together. You’ve always called me Lo, but now you’re calling me Lola.” “I’m not mad.” She walked around the desk and slowly turned my chair so I faced her, exactly the positions we’d been in the last time we were together. Bending over, she brushed her lips against mine. “I thought you liked me, Stefan.” I wanted to push her away into the wall to get her away from me, but even as my hands raised to do that, I knew I owed this to Cash. He deserved to be happy, and at last, I could do more than just give empty apologies for all the terrible shit I’d put him through. “I do, Lo. I like you,” I said quietly, knowing those words would be all she needed. She dropped to her knees and looked up at me like what she was about to do would please me. Licking her lips, she slid her hands up over my thighs until they met at the top of my jeans. For a moment, everything seemed to stop and I realized I wasn’t even hard. Then slowly, she opened my pants and ran her hand over my boxer briefs that still hid my unwilling cock. “I’ve missed this,” she cooed as she reached in and stroked me until I reached semi-hardness. My cock was even weaker than the rest of me. Just as I began to close my eyes to push the image of her going down on me away, I saw her look up at me and smile. “You’re going to love this so much you won’t want to be with whoever she is ever again.” Her mouth slid over the head of my cock until she’d swallowed it all and I was nudging the back of her throat. In true Lola fashion, she went to town on me like her next breath relied on my enjoying the blow job she was giving me. Not that what I felt mattered. I just needed her to be happy so she told her father and he kept helping us. Kane’s words rang in my ears, blocking out much of the sounds Lola made as she slurped and sucked up and down my cock. At some point, I vaguely had a feeling that something in the room had changed, but with my eyes squeezed tightly closed, I didn’t see the door open in time. Lola did, though, and quickly bobbed her head up. “Shay! What are you doing here?” Every part of my being rushed back to consciousness and my eyes flew open to see Shay standing near my desk staring at the horrible scene in front of her—the horrible scene of the man who’d just told her he loved her a day earlier now receiving a blow job from another woman. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Lola jumping up to explain, as if it wasn’t perfectly obvious what we were doing. Me stuffing my cock back into my underwear and zipping up my pants. Throughout it all, I couldn’t tear my gaze from her eyes so full of pain. I’d seen the look in them before. In Cash’s eyes that night he found me fucking his wife. She ran out without saying a thing, and I pushed Lola out of the way to catch up with her. I didn’t know what I’d say, but I had to say something. I caught up with her just as she reached her car. As she opened the door, I grabbed her, not thinking of anything but stopping her before she left me forever. “Shay, let me explain.” She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. No words. No sounds. Nothing. I waited to hear her tell me she hated me, that I’d turned out to be the horrible fuck she always thought I’d been, but she said nothing for a long time, just staring up at me with a look that made me feel like my heart was being torn out. Then, finally, she sighed and her eyes filled with tears.

“So this is what all that stuff last night was about. You were planning to fuck Lola.” “No! No! I didn’t want to. I didn’t have a choice. Her father helps us keep the cops away so they don’t shut us down. He threatened to stop helping us if I didn’t—” I couldn’t say the words, so I just let my sentence trail off. “You always had a choice, Stefan. So now you’ll have to live with that choice. I hope you’re happy with her.” “Don’t do this. Don’t make any decisions yet. Please. I’m begging you.” “Do you think I’m going to feel any better about this once a little time goes by? Do you think the vision of Lola going down on you is something I’m ever going to forget?” she screamed. “Please, you have to believe me. I never wanted her. I want you. You’re everything to me, Shay. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.” Wiping her eyes, she said, “Leave me alone. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t look for me. Forget everything we were together.” “No, don’t do this. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me, Shay,” I pleaded as she pushed me away. “Like Cassian had to forgive you? Like every woman who cared more for you than you did her had to forgive you? No. I never want to see you again, Stefan March.” “You have to see me at work,” I said, grasping at any connection left between us. “I quit.” Shay moved to get into her car, but I held her by the arm, refusing to believe this was it. “No. I won’t let you go. I can’t. I love you.” Spinning toward me, she pummeled my chest with her fists as she cried, “You let me go the minute you walked into that office and let her do that! You told me you loved me last night. Were those just words to you?” A sob overtook her, and she fell back against the car and hung her head. “They meant something to me. If you hadn’t been so goddamned drunk, I would have finally told you the truth. You didn’t lose that bet. I did fall for you. I fell hard. I believed you were that person I hung out with at the beach, who I braved going out on the water for because I trusted you.” “Please Shay. Don’t leave me. We can get past this.” “What happened to honesty and the truth thing we had, Stefan? I can’t trust you. You’re that guy I always knew in the back of my mind would do something like this. I let myself believe you weren’t because I wanted you to be that guy I was falling for. It was a lie. You played me. Congratulations.” “You know it wasn’t like that. Stop talking like that.” I felt her slipping away even as she stood there with me. I was losing her. “I can’t do this with you. Let me go.” Her words made my chest feel like something was crushing it. I reached out but she pushed me away and as I stood there watching her go, she drove away. I walked back into the club to find Lola still in my office, but one look at her and all I wanted to do for the first time in my life was hit a woman. “What are you still doing here? You got what you wanted. Go home, Lola.” “Are you with her?” she asked with an edge in her voice that only pissed me off more. “Get out!” For the second time that night, a woman stared at me with tears welling in her eyes, but unlike with Shay, I didn’t give a fuck if Lola felt like shit or not. As long as she got the fuck away from me. She ran out in tears, but I didn’t care.

* I ROLLED OVER ON TOP of a vodka bottle and pushed it off the couch, hearing it shatter as it hit the floor. Looking down through bleary eyes, I pushed the glass under the furniture. Just in case I had to eventually had to leave the couch. Not that I had any plans to do that. The bottles lined up on the coffee table would allow me to stay blasted for a few more days, and after that I’d figure something out. I did own a fucking bar, didn’t I? It couldn’t be that difficult to get my hands on more. Closing my eyes again, I tried to think of anything but Shay’s face as she stood there out on the street in front of the club, her beautiful green eyes filled of hurt, but it was no use. That’s all my brain gave me every minute of the day and night. I wanted to remember the time when she buried me in the sand. The time we ate Mexican and on a dare she took a bite of a pepper so hot tears flowed down her face as we laughed at her stupidity. The night we rode through the streets of Tampa with her holding on so tightly I thought she’d break one of my ribs. Every minute I spent worshipping her body as we made love. Her lips. Her tongue teasing me like no other woman ever had. Her gorgeous green eyes when she looked at me like I was the greatest guy in the world. It always came back to the eyes. I felt something run down my palm and opened my eyes to see a stream of blood from a cut on my fingertip. It should have hurt—it might have if I wasn’t so fucking drunk. Grabbing a bottle off the table, I took a swig of whatever it was and watched the blood from my finger drip down the glass. Lost in thought, at least I got a reprieve from thinking of what I’d done. It didn’t last long, though, and a few minutes later I was back to feeling guilt so overwhelming that it felt like something was sitting on my chest and at any moment I might smother under the weight of it. In the distance, I heard knocking. It started off soft and after a while it seemed to be close enough that I wondered if someone was trying to knock down my neighbor’s door. I didn’t care, but it gave me another distraction from my thoughts. “Stefan? Stefan? Open your eyes,” a voice demanded but I shut them even tighter to block it out. “Wake up, Stefan. Why are you bleeding?” I slowly raised my eyelids to see Cash standing over me and Kane yanking the bottle out of my hand. “Go away.” “You need to get up. Two binges in a week? What the fuck is this?” Cash asked in that mix of concern and disgust voice he often used when speaking to me. “I’m not getting up, so go away. Kane, help me out for once, will you?” “Stefan, you need to sit up. There’s blood all over your hand,” Kane said in a similar voice to Cash’s. “Neither one of you really gives a fuck about me, so you can just leave me to my life.” “Oh, Christ. We’re not going to do that again, are we?” Cash asked as he sat down in a chair nearby. “Go easy on him, Cash. I think he might have a reason for this bender.” I looked up at Kane as he pulled me up to a seated position. “You know?” “Yeah. Let me get you something for that cut on your finger. I’ll be right back.” He walked toward the kitchen as Cash waited for me to explain why I was laid out on my couch piss drunk and bleeding. Recounting all the stupid things I’d done wasn’t on my list of things to do today, so I pressed my head against the cushion and closed my eyes again. Kane returned with a wet cloth and cleaned up my hand, wrapping it around my finger to stop the blood. Taking a seat across from Cash, he said, “Stefan and Shay had a problem.” Cash looked confused. “Stefan, I get that you’re dating her, but women problems have never sent you into this kind of tailspin before. What’s going on?”

I licked my parched lips and tried to keep my eyes open even though they kept trying to close. “Can one of you get me a glass of water if you won’t let me drink while you’re here? My mouth’s like a desert.” Cash hurried to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. “Here, drink this. Your body’s probably dehydrated. How long have been on this bender?” “What day is it?” “Sunday.” “I don’t know. I don’t remember much about the first couple days. Ask Kane.” “Cash, Stefan did what he could to make Lola happy. I’m not sure what happened, but Shay hasn’t been back at work since that night. Stefan, did she quit?” “Yeah. She caught me with Lola.” Neither of my brothers said anything. Good. I didn’t want to talk about it. “Stefan, we told you we didn’t expect you to do that. Why would you? You had to know if Shay found out you’d lose her,” Cash said as if I’d been with Lola for any reason other than to help them. “I got a visit from Shank after we talked and he made it perfectly clear if I didn’t get back to business with Lola, he’d stop helping us. I didn’t want you to suffer for my fuckup again, Cash, so when she asked to meet with me in my office after the club closed, I did it. Shay walked in and found her going down on me.” Cash frowned and hung his head. “Stef, you never had to do that. I don’t suffer because of your fuckups. You’re my brother, and I love you. You don’t have to make up for what happened anymore. I’m happy now. I don’t expect you to pay forever.” “I didn’t want to see your engagement party or your wedding ruined because of problems at the club. I knew Shank wouldn’t keep helping us if I didn’t keep Lola happy. I couldn’t think of any other way.” “I’m sorry. I never wanted to see you so unhappy. I would never ask you to give up what you had with Shay for my happiness.” “Well, you were right when you said someday I’d love someone and I wouldn’t be enough to keep her.” “Stefan, I didn’t mean that. I never wanted this to happen to you.” I hung my head and quietly said, “I’ve had it coming for a long time. I deserve this.” Cash stood and patted me on the shoulder. “Take all the time you need. I can handle the club. Don’t forget about the engagement party. Olivia and I want you there to share our celebration.” “I’ll be there, Cash. I even promise to clean myself up.” He left me sitting with Kane, who thankfully hadn’t said much yet. I could only hope he’d continue being so kind. “Do you need anything from me? You going to be okay?” I looked over at him and shook my head. “Nope and nope. But thanks for asking. I assume you’re here to take possession of your new place.” “No,” he said and then chuckled. “You can forget all about that bet. Stefan, I know it’s a longshot, but maybe if you told her why you did it she might be able to forgive you.” To hear Kane try to find a way to help me seemed so out of character for him that I couldn’t help but smile. “I told her. It didn’t matter.” “Stefan, I meant what I said the other day. Shay is the only woman you’ve ever been with that didn’t disgust me. She’s smart and funny and somehow made you into a person who actually thought of other people’s happiness before his own, no matter how stupid that was. You need to go to her and convince her to forgive you.” Obviously, Kane’s kind moment had ended.

“She doesn’t want to see me or hear from me ever again, Kane. What I did can’t be forgiven, no matter what my intentions were. I can’t blame her. Just the thought of her with another man makes me so fucking angry I want to kill someone. I can’t imagine what seeing her fucking someone would feel like. No, I fucked this up just like Cash predicted I would.” “Stefan, for the first time in your life you have to fight for something you love. Don’t let her get away or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me on this.” I reached forward to grab a bottle of whiskey. “You’re not fucking listening. She doesn’t want to even see me anymore. What the hell do you know about this anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you with a woman.” Kane nodded. “I know how it feels to lose someone you love. I didn’t do enough once, and now she’s gone forever. Don’t make the same mistake, Stefan. Find a way to win her back.” I shook my head. “I don’t deserve her, Kane. I deserve bar sluts like Lola. No need to worry about me. I’ll never be alone.” Just saying those words made me sick to my stomach, but it was the truth. I’d aimed for someone out of my league—someone I had no right to be with—and fate had made things right. Standing, Kane did the same patting thing on my shoulder Cash had done. “Think about what I said. With Shay, even I liked you, Stefan. That’s got to mean something.” I lifted the bottle to my lips and took a gulp of whiskey. With Shay, I liked me too, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now without her in my life.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Shay F OR FIVE DAYS, I LAY in bed and cried like a baby. Carrie came over each night and held me as I sobbed and repeated every horrible moment of how I let myself fall for a player like Stefan March and how he broke my heart. “I know, honey. I know,” she whispered softly as she gently stroked my hair. “I know it hurts, but it’ll get better. It just takes time.” How many times had I said that to her and thought what I was saying couldn’t have been helping. What a crock of shit it’ll get better. Your heart’s broken. It’ll never get better. You’ll never be the same again. You’ll always be broken. I never want to feel this way. And there I lay in her arms while she whispered words meant to soothe me, but they weren’t working. I still felt as awful as I had the moment I walked into his office and saw him sitting there with his eyes closed, a look of almost pain on his face as Lola… I couldn’t finish that thought. Just thinking about that moment caused my chest to tighten. Like falling for him had put something in my heart so that every time I thought of him now, it felt like a hand was squeezing it tightly. Taking a deep breath, I dried my eyes for the fourth time that night. “You must be asking yourself what happened to the old Shay you used to know. Imagine what Elliot would think. He’d probably have a good laugh at my expense if he saw me now.” Carrie smiled at my mention of Elliot. “He’d be so jealous it would probably eat him up inside.” “Why? Who would want to feel like this?” Pushing my tangled and tear-dampened hair from my eyes, she said, “Not jealous because he’d want to feel like this. Jealous because he could never make you miss him this much.” “I miss those days when I didn’t feel like this for anyone.” “Oh honey, this is the best stuff of life. You’ll never feel more alive than you do right now. That feeling that your heart is being torn out of your chest tells you it was real. You love him. There’s nothing better in the world than love. Even when it hurts, it still makes you feel.” Furrowing my brow, I shot Carrie a nasty look. “I had no idea I was best friends with a sadist.” “Shay, I’m not happy you’re sad, but I am happy you finally found someone to really love. I was getting worried you’d never open up to anyone and instead choose the cold world of science over emotions, and yes, love.” “I would have been better off sticking with the cold world of science. My research never betrays me by sleeping with another woman.” “He didn’t sleep with another woman. Don’t make it worse than it already is. He let her go down on him. Entirely different.” My stomach felt sick when she said things like that, as if his betrayal was any less terrible because his partner-in-crime wore clothes during it. “Again with making excuses for bad men, Carrie.” Sliding off my bed, she began rummaging through my closet. “They’re not excuses. A blow job isn’t anywhere as bad as if you’d caught them having full blown sex in his office, or even worse, making love

in a bed.” She poked her head out and held up a black sweater for my approval, as if she thought I was ready to get dressed and leave my bed. “I’m not saying what he did doesn’t deserve some punishment, but you did say he claimed to have to do it. You’ll wear this with jeans when we go out.” “I don’t think so on both accounts. I’m not ready to go out, even if you put me in mourning clothes, and a man never has to let another women go down on him. How could I ever trust him again?” She threw the sweater on the bed and headed toward the linen cabinet to get me a towel. “I’m not saying you can. All I’m saying is there are possibly things going on outside of what you know that mitigate the circumstances and might make you feel better about never seeing him again. That’s all.” As she buzzed around my apartment, I thought about never seeing Stefan again. That pain in my chest that had finally receded came back with a vengeance, making me wince and want to cry again. There was no way I could forgive him, but thinking about never seeing him again hurt as much as the memory of what he’d done. I heard a knock on my front door and looked at Carrie, who seemed surprised. “Did you order in?” “No. I’d planned on getting you out of this house tonight, in fact. Do you want me to tell whoever it is that you’re unavailable?” I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. Stefan had finally come to beg me to take him back. “You can tell them whatever the hell you want, just as long as they go away.” “Okay. You sure you don’t want to talk?” “I’m sure.” Hidden in my bedroom, I listened as she answered the door, but I couldn’t hear what the person in the hallway was saying. Peeking my head out, I saw Olivia standing in my doorway talking to Carrie. Why was she here? I looked a wreck, so I smoothed my hair back off my face as best as I could and brushed my clothes off from the two days I’d spent in bed in them and stepped out into my living room. “It’s okay, Carrie. Let her in.” Olivia sat down and smiled the way she did that day she saw me at the hospital to visit Stefan’s mother. Always sweet, she had a look of concern in her eyes. I may have looked worse than I thought. “Why are you here, Olivia?” I asked, too curious to remember my manners. “I wanted to see if you were okay. Cash told me what happened.” “How nice of the March brothers to share sex stories. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry. Just another notch on Stefan’s bedpost. You must have to devote a good portion of your days if you go to visit every woman he’s hurt.” I knew I was being unfair. I didn’t care. Something about the idea of her fiancé and his brother talking about what had happened made me angry. That Olivia bore the brunt of that anger couldn’t be helped. “It’s not like that, Shay. Cash told me you and Stefan broke up because of what he did for the club.” “You’re buying that nonsense too? Is there some kind of collective delusion that comes from being around this family?” “I just want you to know the whole story, okay? After that, I’ll leave and you can decide if you think what I said meant anything to you.” “If you’re going to defend his actions, you can just go now, Olivia. The man slept with another woman.” “Not slept with,” Carrie said as she walked over to sit next to me. “Olivia, this is Carrie. She makes excuses for bad men. Carrie, this is Olivia. She’s marrying Stefan’s brother Cassian.” In true Carrie style, she asked, “Is he a bad man too?”

Olivia smiled and let out a little chuckle. “He used to be.” “I’m glad you were able to reform a bad man, Olivia. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have that ability,” I said quietly as I curled my legs up underneath me, already missing my bed. At least there I could cry and not feel as pathetic as if I started to sob right there in front of Olivia, which very well could happen if she continued to talk about Stefan. “Stefan very well might be a bad man. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for him, though. When I started working at Club X, it was Stefan who made me feel welcome. Not that Cash and Kane didn’t, but Stefan was funny and sweet and put me at ease. I know his reputation precedes him, but I saw a change in him after he began spending time with you.” “Yeah, well that change didn’t stick.” “I know you think that he cheated on you because of who he is, but that’s not what happened. Yes, everything you ever heard about him was true, but this time he went with Lola to help Cash and me. You see, Lola’s father is a cop. A dirty one, but a cop, all the same. Each month, Cash and his brothers pay him to make sure the police don’t shut the club down. I know you know what happens in Kane’s part of the club, and without Lola’s father, Club X would be closed because of that.” “What does this have to do with me and the fact that Stefan chose to go with Lola instead of staying loyal to me?” Olivia frowned and continued, “Before you, Stefan and Lola had been spending time together—” I turned to Carrie. “What a nice way of saying fucking, isn’t that?” Carrie gave me the “you’re being a bitch” face and I turned back to face Olivia. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t shoot the messenger.” “It’s okay. I’d probably be just like you are now, so there’s no need to apologize. Yes, Stefan and Lola were fucking each other. Nothing exclusive like the two of you. Just a workplace get-together every so often. But Stefan didn’t know that Lola’s father was the person they paid to keep things good at the club. When he found out and it became an obligation to spend time with her, he didn’t want to. The problem is Lola still wanted to.” “So her father put the pressure on Stefan to sleep with his daughter or risk hurting the club?” Carrie asked. “Exactly. Stefan put her off for weeks as you and he were getting close, Shay. And the pressure wasn’t just coming from Lola and her father. Cash and Kane were also telling him he had to find a way to keep Lola happy so her father wouldn’t stop protecting the club. They didn’t know Stefan was falling for someone, so they acted like they always have. Why wouldn’t they? All he had to do was what he’d always done, so why would it be a problem now?” “Why did he decide to do it that night?” I asked, needing to know why after telling me he loved me he’d go and do something he knew would break us up. “Because her father stopped by the club to talk to him and told him if he didn’t get back to hanging out with Lola, he’d stop protecting the club. Stefan didn’t want Cash to have to worry and he didn’t want the club to suffer just before our engagement party and wedding, so I guess he didn’t think he could find another way and still protect Cash and me.” “How honorable.” “I know it sounds pretty dirty, and in many ways the world Cash, Stefan, and Kane live in is dirty. But what Stefan felt for you was real. I admit I didn’t believe it when I first heard it either. Once a man whore, always a man whore, right? But he changed because of you.” “Once a cheat, always a cheat, Olivia. I know what he did with Cassian’s ex-wife. He told me.” “I know, but I think that’s part of why he did this too, bizarrely enough. For years, Cash couldn’t

forgive his brother for what he did. It was only after he and I got together that he could finally let that go. Stefan couldn’t let it go, though, and even though it didn’t appear to bother him, once he began spending time with you, what he’d done to his brother seemed to really eat at him.” “I don’t know what to say to all this, Olivia. I’m not sure it changes anything. He lied to me and even if he didn’t sleep with Lola and even if she still had all her clothes on, he betrayed me. I don’t see how I can forgive him.” Olivia looked disappointed but gave me one of her gentle smiles. “I understand. I just wanted to make sure you knew that this wasn’t just him being the player he’d always been. He’s crazy about you. Cash tells me he’s a mess since this happened. He hasn’t been to work in days, and Cash and Kane found him last night drunk and pretty much out of it on his couch.” “Why are you telling me that? So I’ll feel bad for him?” She shook her head. “No. I guess just because I’d want to hear the man I love is a mess without me.” I stood and forced a smile. “Thanks for coming by, Olivia.” As she walked toward the door, she said, “I hope you’ll still come to the engagement party out at Alexandria’s house. It would mean a lot to me if you’d be there.” “I don’t know. It might be too soon. I’m not sure we could be civil to one another and not ruin your party.” “Please think about it, and if you need anything, call me, okay?” “Thanks. I will. And thank you for coming by to check on me. If you decide to report any of this to Cassian or Stefan himself, would you do me a favor?” I hesitated and then quietly as the tears began to come again said, “Would you make it sound like I’m okay?” Olivia touched my shoulder softly and smiled. “Yeah. I’ll say you’re doing fine.” “Thanks.” I closed the door and Carrie took me into her arms as I cried harder than I’d cried in five days. Nothing Olivia said should have made me sadder, but it did. And angrier, but I didn’t know who to be angry at. Stefan? Lola? Lola’s father? All I knew was what Olivia told me muddied up how neatly I’d planned on hating Stefan March for the rest of my life.

* A UNIFORMED MAN WAVED ME forward into the line of cars waiting to be parked, and I handed him my keys as I closed my car door. “Take care of the old Taurus. She needs to get me through a few weeks more.” “Not to worry, miss. We’ll take good care of her.” I turned and saw Alexandria March’s home all decorated for the Christmas holiday and looking like something out of a design magazine. Its Victorian charm had been amped up about a thousand percent by the evergreen boughs draped over the top of every window and the tiny white lights that twinkled along the verandah railing. Crowds of people milled about on the large wrap-around porch, and it looked like everyone in Tampa had turned out for Cash and Olivia’s party. Dressed in a silver strapless gown Carrie had loaned me from the boutique and wearing my hair in an upsweep, I felt like an entirely different person than the Shay I’d always been in jeans or shorts and a tshirt. Being a different person sounded like a good idea as I walked up the stairs to enter the house since the person I really was felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb. Like everyone at the party knew what had happened between Stefan and me and were staring at me judging me for the fool I was. The outside of the house may have looked like it belonged on the cover of a magazine, but the inside

was even more breathtaking. Designed as a Victorian home, it had obviously been updated but in a way that integrated the Victorian style with modern beauty. The heaviness of the Victorian look had been replaced with the lightness of white painted walls and woodwork. By the time I made it down the main hallway and into the kitchen, I was so engrossed with admiring the décor that I’d forgotten where I was and who would be there. “I’m glad to see you came,” a deep, raspy voice I instantly recognized as Kane’s said. Turning around, I saw him leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen looking distinctly uncomfortable. Dressed in a black suit and shirt with a blue tie that nearly matched his crystal blue eyes, he cleaned up nicely. “I almost didn’t.” He gave me a smile and nodded. “Me too, but I couldn’t let Cash and Olivia down.” “Same here.” “As long as I avoid Alexandria, I should be fine. She always stares at me like she’s deciding if today’s the day she won’t hate me.” I smiled as the conversation I’d had with Stefan’s mother flashed through my mind. “It’s not hate. She’s worried you’re too alike, actually.” Kane didn’t ask what I meant, and we stood in silence as the entire party seemed to pass in front of us right there in the kitchen. Something about having him near me made me feel safe, and the idea of Alexandria not approaching me because I was next to him appealed to me. Not that I didn’t like her, but any discussion between us that night would invariably be awkward and end up coming to the subject of Stefan, which I so desperately wanted to avoid. “You know he’s here, right?” Kane said low in my ear. My heart began pounding in my chest as I attempted to remain calm and scan the room for any sign of Stefan or his mother. “I assumed he would be, but it’s a big house. With any luck, I’ll be able to avoid him.” “I don’t think so.” I turned to look at Kane and saw his eyes focused on the living room across the hallway. Following his gaze, I saw Stefan standing alone over near a large bay window. He wore a dark grey suit and deep red shirt, and even though I couldn’t say I’d ever seen him look so good, something about him told me it was all a façade. He stared at me with a longing in his eyes that pinched at my heart, even now after days of my swearing that I would never let myself feel for him again. Turning away, I smiled up at Kane. “It was nice seeing you again. Where can I find the happy couple?” “Through that room he’s standing in. They’re in the room right past it.” I sighed. “Merry Christmas, Kane.” “Merry Christmas, Shay.” There was no way to avoid him now, so I mustered up all my courage, even as my legs began to shake under my dress, and walked toward where I saw Cassian and Olivia. I felt Stefan’s gaze on me every step of the way, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t help but look as I walked past him. The longing I’d seen from the kitchen had changed to utter sadness in his brown eyes. My chest hurt so much I wasn’t sure I could breathe, but Olivia’s smile beckoning me toward her and Cassian helped and I made it past Stefan without collapsing to the floor. I couldn’t stand much more of this, though. Even when I couldn’t see him, I knew he was looking at me with those eyes so sad. “Shay, I’m so happy you came!” Olivia said as she reached out to hug me. Dressed in a gorgeous pink floor length gown that highlighted her red hair, she looked stunning. Stepping back away, she said, “I’m so glad to see you. You look beautiful!”

“Thank you. You look lovely. Congratulations to both of you.” Cassian kissed me on the cheek and handed me a glass of champagne. “Time for a toast.” Addressing the room full of people, he said, “Thank you to everyone who’s come tonight to celebrate with Olivia and me. I hope each of you finds the happiness we’ve found.” Everyone said, “Cheers!” and I raised my glass to them. “I’m very happy for the two of you. Thank you for inviting me, but I think I need to go.” Both of them looked over in Stefan’s direction and then back at me. Leaning in to hug me again, Olivia whispered, “I know it was probably hard for you to come tonight, but I’m so glad you did. I hope we get to see you again soon.” Her words made my tears well up in my eyes. I didn’t know why since Stefan and I had never planned on being anything permanent, but I felt like I was losing a friend as I turned away to leave. I slipped out onto the porch and took a deep breath of air, happy that I’d made it through it all. Just as I began to believe I’d made it out emotionally unscathed, a hand touched my arm, and I looked to see Alexandria standing next to me. “It’s so wonderful to see you again, Shay.” “Hello. I was just leaving. You have a lovely home.” “Are you leaving because of Stefan?” “You’re more direct than I am. I can respect that, though. Yes, I’m leaving because he’s here.” Alexandria’s brown eyes searched mine as she said softly, “I was sorry to hear that the two of you aren’t together anymore.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again. Swallowing hard, I said, “I have to go. I’m sorry, but I can’t be here. It’s too hard. I hope you understand.” “I hope I get to see you again, Shay. I liked our time together, and I think you made my son happy.” It was all I could to push a weak smile on my face as I bid her goodbye and walked quickly toward the road. Unfortunately, I had no idea where the attendants had parked my car, and they were nowhere to be found. On the verge of tears and searching for anyone who might be able to help me without having to go back to the house, I heard footsteps coming behind me and turned to see Stefan walking toward me. “Please don’t go. I was hoping we could talk.” “There’s nothing to talk about. Just leave me alone so I can find my car and drive away from here.” Stefan slid his hand over my shoulder, and just the merest touch made a yearning spike inside me. “Please stay. I know you miss me as much as I miss you.” Refusing to face him, I hung my head. “No, I don’t.” He came around in front of me and cradled my face in his hands, looking down at me with pure pain in his eyes. “Yes, you do. I see it in your eyes. It’s the same look I see every time I look in the mirror.” I couldn’t do this with him. Closing my eyes, I willed the tears away, but they came anyway, a single one sliding down my cheek followed by the rest that wouldn’t stay hidden. “Please let me go,” I sobbed. “Why do you want to see me cry? So you can know I still care? Fine. I care. Now let me go.” Stefan gently slid the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks. “I can’t function without you, Shay. I try, but all I can think of is you and how much I hurt you. These last two weeks have been hell. I know I fucked up huge. I know. But I’ll do anything if you’d just come back to me. You’re everything to me.” “I can’t get the image of you with her out of my mind. It hurts so much, Stefan. Every time I think of you, I think of that night and every inch of my body aches.” Pressing his forehead to mine, he whispered in a voice full of his own pain, “I’m sorry, Shay. I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn’t let Cash suffer for me anymore, but I never wanted you to get hurt.” I stepped back, afraid of what my heart was already feeling. “How could you think I wouldn’t get hurt when you did that?”

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I just didn’t want to fuck up Cash’s happiness anymore. Shay, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back. I can’t go on like this. Every day without you is killing me.” I closed my eyes and lowered my head. “Olivia told me what happened with Lola’s father. Why didn’t you say anything to me? We were supposed to tell each other the truth.” “I couldn’t tell you. I think I knew I’d eventually have to risk everything, but I kept thinking I could push it off to the future. When he came to see me, I knew the time had come. That’s why I finally told you I loved you that night.” “I wish you would have told me what you were going through. I might not have understood, but you wouldn’t have been alone.” “I couldn’t. I couldn’t let you see me as that kind of man. I can’t deny I was that man for a long time, but you made me want to be someone better.” I stared up at him as my heart broke for both of us. It was stupid and foolish and I couldn’t explain it, but I loved him even now after all the times I’d sworn to hate him forever. “Please don’t go. I’ll do anything, Shay. Just don’t go.” “I was always going to go, Stefan. What does it matter if it’s now or at the end of the year? We always had an expiration date, whether we wanted to admit it or not.” Stefan shook his head. “No. Doesn’t it matter that we love each other? That’s got to mean something, Shay.” “We were never going to ride off into the sunset like Cassian and Olivia. We’re not that kind of people.” “Why not? Why can’t people change? I did because of you.” Stefan pressed his lips against mine in a kiss that made me wish we could rewind time to before all the horrible things happened. I’d been lying to myself thinking that I could be fine if I never saw him again. I couldn’t be. But I couldn’t change the reality of who I was either. Taking his hands in mine, I brought them to my lips and kissed them. “Before there was a you and me, there was just me, and I’ve dedicated years to my future. I have to be who I am, and who I am is someone who’s leaving in a few weeks and will be gone for a whole year while you’re back here with the Lolas, Mikas, and Kats of the world. How could I ever believe you’d wait for me?” “Because I would. I could install cameras throughout the bar and in my office so you could see wherever I am and whoever I’m talking to at all times. I’d even put cameras in my condo so you could see it’s just me moping around all lonely wishing you were there next to me.” “Cameras? What kind of relationship is that, Stefan? This is what happens when two people don’t have honesty between them. I don’t want to watch you like a hawk, worried that you’ll want someone else because I’m not there. I can’t do that.” I backed away from him as the reality that a year apart from each other would bring all those problems. I couldn’t live like that. “We were never meant to be forever. You and I knew that. I love you, Stefan, but it’s time to say goodbye.” “No! I can’t let you go. I can’t believe I’d finally fall in love and then lose you before I had a chance to show you I’m not the man you thought I was from that first day. I swear it, Shay.” I kissed him softly on the cheek. “I know, baby. I know it’s not fair, but I can’t spend an entire year wondering if the man I love is making another mistake. Maybe when I finish my year away if we still feel the same—” As I tried to keep myself from crying at the thought of us never being together again, he pulled me into his body and held me against him. “You can give me a thousand reasons why we won’t work. All I can

give you is one answer. I love you. You’re my everything. I’m lost without you. Make whatever demand you want and I’ll do it. Quit the club. Move to Copenhagen with you. Leave behind the life I have here. I’ll do all of them if you’ll just give me a chance to show you I love you.” I looked at him, stunned by what he’d just said. “Your entire life is here. You would do those things for me?” “I would do anything. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Being without you is killing me. Please say we can try again.” “Stefan, how can I ever trust you?” He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know. All I can do is show you every day that I love you and hope that one day you believe me.” “What if that’s not enough?” I asked, afraid of his answer. “I made you happy once. I can do it again. I know I can. All I need is the chance.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him close and buried my face in his chest, whispering, “I want to believe you. I’ve missed you so much. I’ve never been so unhappy in my life. I want to be like we were, but what if too much has happened?” He hugged me tightly and said, “I can’t believe that. You don’t believe that either. Tell me you don’t and that you believe in us.” “I love you so much I don’t know what to do. Every instinct in me says to walk away, but my heart keeps saying stay.” Stefan tilted my head back and smiled. “Then listen to your heart.” “I’ve never listened to my heart. I’m a scientist. I listen to my head. But my head says to run away because you’re that person I met that first day at Club X.” “That guy wanted you from the moment he met you. Maybe not for the right reasons, but he did. And then when he got to know you, he saw a million more reasons why he’d want to be with you. What does your heart say?” “That being without you hurts so much all I wanted to do was lie in bed and cry. That being without you left a hole in my life nobody could fill.” “You know what my heart says? That whatever it takes I’ll do it because I love you, Shay. Please. I’m begging you. Give me another chance.” “I want to, but it hurts so much to think of what you did.” “Then don’t think of it. Give us the chance to create a million other memories so that one gets pushed out of your mind. I love you, Shay, and I swear I won’t screw up again.” Every logical part of me said no, but for the first time, I listened to my heart and how much it hurt to go on without him. Taking me in his arms, he held me close to him and I let myself feel how incredible it was to be next to him again. “I love you, Stefan.” “I won’t let you down, Shay. I promise to be that man I became because of you. I promise.”

Epilogue

Stefan F OR THREE WEEKS, SHAY AND I had spent every minute we could together. Lola quit when she realized I wouldn’t keep doing her and Shank’s bidding, so Shay and I ran the bar and then went home together to my condo every night. I didn’t want to think about it, but every morning when I woke up, I knew we were another day closer to her leaving me again, this time for a whole year. And then that day was here. Shay rested her chin on my chest and stared up at me. “You look a million miles away. Where are you?” I ran my hand over her soft hair that fell across my stomach. “Right here where I should be.” “It’s only for a year, Stefan. I know it seems like a long time, but it’s not. We can Skype every night before you go out into the club, and it will be over before we know it.” “I guess.” She slid up to kiss me. “Think of it as the last year you get to do whatever you want before settling down.” “I don’t need a year to do anything. I’d rather be with you.” Shay remained quiet for a minute as the thought of seeing her get on that plane in a few hours made me feel like I was losing my entire world. I didn’t want to let go, but I had to and it was tearing me up. “What are you worried about, baby?” Finally, I admitted the fear that terrified me most about her leaving me for a year. “That you’ll meet some scientist who can understand what you mean when you talk about your work and you’ll realize he’s what you really want. One night you’ll send me an email saying you can’t talk that night, that you’re busy, and then before I know what happened, I’ll have lost you to someone smart like you.” “Oh, Stefan, that won’t happen. I promise.” “Why wouldn’t it happen? You’re going to be surrounded by all those science guys who know exactly what you’re talking about and one thing will lead to another and…” She chuckled at me. “Have you ever seen any science guys? They’re notoriously not hot. I’ve never met one that turned my head in the least.” “That’s not helping.” Holding my face in her hands, she stopped teasing me and said quietly, “Stefan, I’m madly, crazy, out of my mind in love with you. That’s why it won’t happen.” “And what happens after the year is up?” I asked, knowing even after a year in Copenhagen that her work might keep her away from Tampa. “I don’t know. I’ve worked a long time to get where I am in my work, but there might not be any way I can stay here and still do my research.” “I’ve never lived anywhere else, you know that? I have all this money and I never even go on vacation to other places. Maybe it’s time I should.” “Maybe.” “Maybe it’s time I think about leaving Tampa.” Shay knitted her brows. “Leaving? Where would you go?”

I looked down at her and smiled. “Wherever you go.” “Could you do that? Would you?” Nodding, I said, “Yeah, I would.” Her smile lit up her face, and she hugged me. “That means so much to me that you’d be willing to go where I could do my work.” “I already lost my house and my bike over you. Why not completely change my life up?” Shay sat up next to me and poked me in the side. “That was your fault you made that bet. You and Kane are bad. By the way, when does he move in?” “He doesn’t want to collect on the bet. I think he likes his rooms at the club. Maybe I’ll tell him if he’s willing to wait a year, he can have this place when you get back since we’ll either be moving to our own place here or moving to a new city.” “I like that idea.” Her smiled slowly faded away. Running her fingers along my jaw, she touched my cheek. “I need to start getting ready. My flight leaves at 1:30.” Swallowing hard, I nodded. “I know.” I’d thought about that flight and when she’d leave me every day since we got back together. I knew. She leaned down and kissed me softly and whispered, “I love you, no matter where we are. Don’t forget that.” WE STOPPED AT THE SECURITY checkpoint for Shay’s flight, and I felt the same ache in my chest as when I’d lost her just a few weeks before. I wanted to believe this wasn’t goodbye, but deep down I wasn’t sure, even if she seemed to be. Shay bit her lip and wiped her tears from her eyes that had taken on a watery green look. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but I can’t help it. Promise me every night, Stefan. Every night we’ll talk, right?” Pulling her to me, I held her close and kissed the top of her head. “Every night. I promise. I’ll bore you with stories about the club and you can tell me all about your day. It will be just like we’re sitting next to one another.” Stepping back, she looked up at me. “Promise me one other thing.” “Anything.” I saw the worry in her eyes and knew what she wanted to say. “If at any time you decide you can’t wait for me, promise me you’ll at least be honest with me. That’s all I ask. Honesty.” “I can’t promise that because I don’t want anyone else and I won’t. There’s only you, Shay.” “A year’s a long time, Stefan. What if…?” She didn’t finish her sentence but I knew what she meant. “I have hands,” I said with a smile. “And I can always fly over to you if I just can’t wait anymore.” Wiping her cheek, she smiled through her tears. “Only you would say that. Okay. We can do this, right?” “Yeah, we can do this,” I said, trying to control my emotions as I felt my last moments with her slipping away. “Go show those science nerds how smart you are, princess. I’ll be here when you get back.” Shay wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me. “I love you, Stefan. Part of me doesn’t want to go, but the other part knows I have to. I have to do this.” I kissed her and wished I’d never have to let her go. “I love you. No more tears. I’ll see you tomorrow night when we talk.” Watching her walk away into that security line, I wasn’t sure I could take a breath my chest hurt so much. She turned to blow me a kiss and I smiled, and then she disappeared in the crowd of people like her heading to their gates to take off on planes and leave behind the people who loved them. Two hours

later, I stood watching through the airport windows as Flight 3279 finally lifted off the ground taking the woman I loved with it. I just hoped it wasn’t forever.

* SITTING IN CASH’S OFFICE FOR the weekly meeting I still didn’t see the point to, my brother and I waited for Kane, who’d kept us hanging for the last twenty minutes. He strolled in like we had all the time in the world. Cash and he might, but I had a standing date with the woman I loved to video chat, and Shay would be calling in less than an hour. Kane sat down in the chair next to mine and shrugged, like his wasting our time meant nothing to him. “Sorry. It couldn’t be avoided.” “Yeah, yeah. Let’s get this meeting going. I have to be out of here in a couple.” Both of them stared at me like I’d said something bizarre. Cash smiled and shook his head. “Anything important, Stef?” “Yeah, it’s important. I’m going to talk to Shay like I do every day, so let’s get going.” “I still can’t get used to you as a committed man, little brother,” Kane teased. “And that you got that woman still amazes me.” I rolled my eyes at the same jabs he always made. “You need some new material, Kane. Maybe if you ever spent any time with women you wouldn’t be fixated on my love life.” “Okay, okay. Let’s get going with this. Olivia and I have to finalize the plans for the wedding at four today,” Cash said as he typed his password into his laptop. “We’ve got to discuss what we’re going to do now that Shank isn’t going to be around to help us anymore. We’ve been lucky for much longer than I thought we’d be, but luck runs out.” I looked at both my brothers for any sense that they blamed me. The whole Lola situation hadn’t been my finest hour, and in truth, Shank gunning for us now was my fault. That Cash and Kane had forgiven me made me feel a little better about things, but the truth was that the club was in danger as long as we didn’t have someone to protect us from nightly raids. “Any progress with that councilman?” Kane asked. “He could help. He’s already a member of the club. I’m sure he wants it open again.” Cash solemnly shook his head. “Maybe. I have a meeting set up with him in a few days.” I saw the look of worry in my brother’s eyes, but he quickly forced a smile. “He’s got deep pockets and seems to be interested in adding to them, so he might be willing to. I think he might be able to help with the police if we can convince him.” I hated seeing him so stressed out. More than Kane or me, Cash bore the responsibility for the club’s security and the concern he had about it was written all over his face. “What if we kept it legal for a while?” I asked, knowing how much of Club X was outside the bounds of what was legal. Virtually everything in Kane’s area could be something we’d get shut down for on any given night. “That’s going to cut into profits, Stefan. This comes as a bad time for Cash especially.” I looked at Kane and nodded. “I know, but it’s got to be better than being shut down.” Turning toward Cash, I said, “I’m sorry this is happening just around your big day. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” “I know, Stef. Don’t worry. We’ll get through this. We handled things before we found Shank, and we’ll handle it now. It’s nice to hear you say you’re sorry, though.”

Kane elbowed me and I saw him smile. “Who would have thought you’d finally grow up on a bet between the two of us?” “Does your girlfriend know you made a bet on her?” Cash asked. “Yes, she does know. I told her. I’m a changed man, gentlemen. Being with Shay has transformed me.” The two of them sat staring at me as if I’d announced I planned to travel to Mars, but it didn’t matter if they believed me or not. I believed in Shay and me. That’s all that counted. “Now, if I can please be excused, Mr. March, I have a date with my girlfriend I’d like to get ready for.” Cash rolled his eyes and smiled. “Go. You’re no use to us when you’re acting like a lovesick puppy. If you need to know anything about the week ahead, Kane or I will tell you.” I stood to leave and Kane smacked me on the arm. “Tell Shay we miss her here. The bar isn’t the same without her. I miss seeing her on the fourth floor.” “Watch it, big brother. That’s the woman I love you’re talking about.” POSITIONED IN FRONT OF MY laptop, I sat waiting for Shay’s call, nervously running my hands through my hair as I readied myself to see her again. Every night of the week we did this together, and every time it made me miss her even more than the time before. I never told her that because what would be the point? She was thousands of miles and a continent away in Copenhagen for another eight months, and there was nothing that could change that. Sometimes late at night as I lay in bed missing her more than I thought it was possible to miss someone I thought about telling Cash and Kane I couldn’t do this anymore and I had to leave. I had more than enough money to pay for a few months of living in Copenhagen, no matter how much it cost. But I couldn’t do that to them after how much I’d fucked things up at the club, and Shay needed to do her work. She didn’t need me hanging around her neck. We’d endured four months apart. We could handle eight more. My laptop made that chiming noise that signaled she was calling me, and I turned to see her beautiful face in front of me again and that smile that never failed to make my day. “Hey, baby! What’s going on?” she asked as she always did at the beginning of our chat. “Not much. How’s my girl today? Doing lots of research?” Chuckling, she shook her head. “I love that you ask me about my research, but you don’t have to, Stefan. I know it’s not your thing.” “It’s my thing because it’s your thing, Shay.” “Well, I could bore you with all the details, but I’d rather talk about other things. What have you been up to?” “Just the club and home. Counting the days until you’re back,” I said, trying to sound upbeat. “What’s new at the club? I miss that place. I never thought I’d say that about a bartending job, but I do.” “It’s always the same. You know how it is.” Her smile faded just a touch, and she asked in a quiet voice, “Is something wrong, Stefan? You seem different tonight.” I forced myself to smile and shook my head. “No. Just tired.” She leaned in toward where the camera was on her laptop and blew me a kiss. “I miss you, baby. It’s lonely without you.” “Me too. It’s just eight months, though, right?” Nodding, she said, “Right. We’ll be seeing each other soon. Those months will go by like it’s just a

few minutes.” My cell phone rang and I looked over to see it was Cash calling. Silencing it, I ignored it, pissed off that he didn’t remember how important these calls from Shay were to me. “Do you have to go? I heard the phone ring.” “No, that’s just Cash. I’ll talk to him later.” Just then, my phone rang again. I looked over and saw it was Cash for a second time. What the fuck? Irritated, I silenced my phone again and turned back to Shay as she said, “I’ll let you go. We can talk later.” “No, no. I don’t need to go yet. I want to spend more time with you. Whatever Cash wants can wait, Shay.” “Are you sure? Maybe you should go see what he wants.” I leaned forward toward my laptop screen and touched my fingertip to it, wishing I was touching her. “I don’t want to talk about my brother or the club anymore. I want to hear you tell me about your day, even if I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. I want to close my eyes and pretend you’re here instead of what feels like a million miles away.” “Oh, Stefan. Honey, you look so sad. I hate that we can’t be together, but I had to do this. I couldn’t just be some girl who mooched off you. You understand that, don’t you?” I hung my head. “Yeah. I understand. I just wish you were here.” A knock on my office door set me off, and I jumped out of my chair to find out who the hell couldn’t figure out I was fucking busy. Throwing the door open, I saw Cash standing there with his phone in his hand. “What do you want? You know I’m busy talking to Shay in here.” “I need you to come into my office. We’ve got something we need to handle right now.” “No! I’m talking to Shay now. When I’m done, I’ll come back. Now get the fuck out of my face.” “Stefan, this is club business. I know you want to talk to her, but this takes priority.” From behind me, I heard Shay’s voice come from my laptop. “Stefan, I can call back in a little while, if that would be better.” Storming back to my desk, I sat down. “No. We don’t get much time together, so whatever my goddamned brothers want from me will have to wait.” Shay’s green eyes stared out at me with a look that told me she understood. I didn’t, but she did. “It’s okay, baby. Remember, we can talk again tonight, and we’ll see each other really soon, right? How about I give you a half hour?” I looked up over the laptop and glared at Cash. “You have thirty minutes. Any more, and you and Kane will have to figure whatever it is out by yourselves.” “Thirty minutes. Fine.” Turning my attention back to where it belonged, I forced a smile. “I’ll talk to you in a half hour, okay? We’ll pick up right where we left off.” “Okay. I love you, Stefan.” “I love you too, Shay.” My laptop screen returned to my screensaver of a picture of Shay and me at the beach, and I slammed the top closed. “Cash, what the fuck could be this important? This better be big. I mean, fucking huge.” “It is.” “Well, it better be,” I grumbled as I followed him out into the club. “So what’s the problem?” “I think you’ll get a better handle on the situation when we get to my office. Relax. She said she’d speak to you in a few minutes. It’ll be fine.”

I shot him a glare and followed him into his office. Kane was nowhere to be found, though. Looking around, I snapped, “I better not have just walked away from a chat with Shay to wait for that fucker to get his ass down here. He’s as bad as I used to be these days.” Cash picked up his phone and dialed a number. “I’ll get him. Just head back into the conference room and take a seat. I’m sure he’ll be right down.” “Conference room? Are we having another goddamned meeting, Cash? You couldn’t do this without me?” “Just go. We’ll be back in a minute.” “Fine. I swear you two would be lost without me, you know that?” Cash was already ignoring me as he began to speak to Kane on the phone, so I headed back to the conference room and took a seat at the enormous cherry wood table that reminded me of something my father used to have in his office. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm down, knowing it would take just one or two wrong words from Kane and I’d lose it. I heard Olivia’s office door open, and I turned to see her wearing a huge smile. At least someone was happy to be there. “Hey, Olivia. What’s up? Any idea what this meeting’s about?” She stepped aside and from behind her Shay stepped into the room. Any coherent thoughts in my mind slipped away, and I stood up from the table in shock. “How? When? I was just talking to you in Copenhagen.” “The researcher I’m working with had to leave for a conference and he gave us all a week off. I wanted to surprise you, so I arranged it with Olivia to fly in last night and stay at her and Cash’s place.” My body felt frozen on the spot where I stood. After all those nights alone, there she was right in front of me. Shay smiled and ran into my arms, and I was sure at that moment I’d never felt happier in my life. “I can’t believe you’re finally here again. I missed you so damn much, Shay.” She squeezed me tight and looked up at me. “I missed you too. It’s only for a week, but it’s something.” Cradling her face, I joked, “Well, if all we have is a week, we better get going. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” I took her hand and led her out into Cash’s office where he, Kane, and Olivia stood. “You were all in on this, weren’t you?” I asked. “We couldn’t stand your moping anymore,” Kane said with a smile. “But it was Shay who came up with the idea to surprise you.” “Well, I’m glad she did, and thanks for helping her. This might be the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” “What are your plans for the week?” Olivia asked. “About that guys. I’m taking the week off. Don’t call or even text me. I’m busy until next week, right?” I announced as I looked down at Shay. “Right. See you guys!” I figured I’d hear some complaint from Cash or Kane as she pulled me toward the door, but they just nodded as if they’d expected me to be like this. All the better. I didn’t have time to argue with them today. I had one week with Shay, and I wasn’t going to waste a minute of that time.

* SHAY CLIMBED OFF MY BIKE and took my hand as we walked into my building. Looking up at me, she said, “I missed that, you know that?” “What? The bike?”

“Yeah. Silly, right? But I missed that feeling of holding on as you fly through the city.” We entered the elevator and as the doors closed, I pulled her into my arms. “I missed this. Getting to feel you next to me when I come home.” “Well, for the next six days, you can have that to your heart’s content,” she said smiling up at me. “I’m not sure six days is going to be enough. This time apart is harder than I thought it would be, princess.” “I know, Stefan. It is for me too, but this is important to me.” I kissed her forehead. “I know. Epimenics and all that.” She chuckled as I mispronounced her field for the four thousandth time. “Epigenetics. I don’t want to talk about that while I’m here, though. All I want to do is focus on you, my gorgeous, incredible boyfriend who I haven’t seen for four long months.” “I’m all for that,” I said as I pressed the button for the fifteenth floor. Shay gave me a wink and pushed the STOP button so the elevator came to a halt just as it began to rise. As she slowly lowered herself to her knees, she smiled. “Do you know in all the time we’ve been together I’ve never made up for that night I left you high and dry in your office? Do you remember?” She unzipped my jeans and took my cock out to playfully flick the head with her tongue, nearly driving me crazy. “I remember,” I said nearly breathless in anticipation of her going down on me right there in the elevator. “Well, I think it’s about time to remedy that oversight, don’t you?” She slid the first few inches of my cock into her mouth, sending my body into near hyper drive. It had been four long months since anything but my own hand had touched me, but the wait had been worth it. The feel of her lips and tongue gliding up and down my shaft made my legs go weak, and I reached back to grab the bar on the wall for balance. Shay popped my cock out of her mouth and smiled up at me. “You okay up there?” “Yeah,” I answered in more a groan than a word. She slid her mouth back over the head of my cock and all the way down to the base, taking me into her so far I had to be nearly gagging her. Then she slowly came back up, her tongue teasing the underneath as my cock retreated from her mouth. “Baby, it’s not going to take long. Four months of just my hand isn’t the same as you. I’m close.” “Good.” I stuffed my hands into her hair and tightened their hold to direct her as she proceeded to give me a blow job that nearly took the top of my head off with it when I came. I flooded her mouth as my knees buckled, and she took every last drop I gave her. When she was finished, she stood up and kissed me. “I think that makes up for that night, don’t you?” Opening my eyes, I said with smile, “It might require a few more to really make up for that heinous thing you did.” “Well, how about I give you time to recuperate and I’ll do more making up later. Deal?” I pressed the STOP button again to make the elevator continue up to my floor and nodded. “Deal.” LYING IN BED WATCHING THE sun set on our first day together made me miss her already and she’d just come back to me. My heart felt like someone had it in a vice. How was I going to live without her for eight months more? I squeezed her against me, and Shay gently pushed my chin so I had to look at her. “Hey, what’s

wrong? No sad faces. We have a week together we didn’t expect.” “I know.” “Then what’s wrong, Stefan?” “I miss you so much, Shay. Everything I thought meant something in my life doesn’t anymore without you here. The club, my life, none of it means anything now that you’re not here with me.” “I know, baby, but it’s just for eight months more.” “What’s Copenhagen like?” “Cold. Snowy. Pretty much the opposite of Tampa. I work all the time and look forward to talking to you every night. That’s about all I do.” “Then not somewhere we want to go, right?” She smiled and shook her head. “No. I don’t think I want to live in Copenhagen after my time there is up. But I have a surprise for you.” I looked down at her to see her grinning from ear to ear. “What’s that?” “While I’m here, I’m talking to Dr. Taduch about a position at the university for when I get back. He emailed me a week or so ago and told me about it, so I sent all my materials in to apply already.” “So after the year is up you might be back here to stay?” I asked, my heart filling with joy at her news. “Yeah. It might just be for a year, but that could give us some time to figure out what we want to do when we grow up.” “Will you be able to come back for Cash and Olivia’s wedding?” Shay shook her head. “I don’t think so. The soonest I could come back for a visit would probably be August. I think we all have a week off then.” “That’s only four months,” I said quietly, trying to convince myself it wasn’t that long. Snuggling up against me, she pressed her lips against my neck and nuzzled my skin. “And then four months later I’ll be back.” “I know. Not too long.” Not very convincing. She whispered, “But then I’ll be back and we can spend every night together like this. Deal?” “This isn’t as good as the last time you offered me a deal a few hours ago,” I said, trying to find the humor in what made me feel like shit. Shay sat up next to me and drummed her fingers on my stomach. “What if I told you something I think will make you smile?” I crossed my arms behind my head and nodded. “You don’t have to go back and you’ll stay here with me forever?” She gave me a look that told me I was being difficult and shook her head. “No, but I think this will still make you smile.” “Okay. Shoot.” “Do you remember the first day we met—the day you and Kane made that infamous bet?” “Yeah…” I wondered if she was about to tell me Kane had said something to her about our bet now that she and the rest of my family were close enough to keep secrets from me. “Well, I made a little bet of my own that day.” I was intrigued. “A bet? About what?” “I was so furious with you after how you acted that I bet Carrie I could make you, one of Tampa’s biggest players, fall for me.” I knew there was a reason I couldn’t resist her from the minute we met. Few women had confidence

like she did, and even fewer could back it up. Shay sat there looking at me with a playful expression that made me want to take her in my arms and never let her go. “So you bet you could get me, and I bet I could get you? I guess we’re not so different after all, Shay Callahan.” Leaning down, she kissed me sweetly and snuggled up against me again. “Who’d have thought it, Stefan March?” She was right. In many ways, we were as different as night and day, but that feeling I’d had the moment I met her hadn’t been just physical. I’d been with more women than I cared to remember, but even though I didn’t know it that day, I’d met the one who could beat me at my own game. Maybe winning wasn’t the most important thing after all.

POSSESSION CLUB X #3

Kane Jackson, the ruler of the fantasy section of Club X, has always been different from his brothers. The bastard son of Cassian March III, he grew up without the money and privilege Cassian and Stefan enjoyed from the March name, instead only knowing his father as the man who abandoned him and seeing himself as unloved and unwanted. He let love in once and like everything else in his life, all that came from it was pain. His heart hidden behind the walls he’s built since then, Kane is now just the dark figure who rules over the fantasies of others but has none himself. Abbi Linde can’t seem to get a break. Too many bad men and bad choices have left her bruised and broken, but the opportunity to dance at Club X could change everything. For the first time, she might be able to make a life for herself and find the happiness she longs for. After what feels like a lifetime of heartbreak, Abbi still believes one day her dreams will come true and she’ll find the love that’s eluded her. Even the darkest heart craves the light, but will the darkness be too much for love to overcome with these two souls?

Prologue

Kane THE LIGHTNESS OF MY MOTHER’S hospital room pressed down on me as if it wanted to crush me or push me out. Dark and somber, I was an intruder in this place. Or at least that’s how I felt every day I came to sit next to my mother as she withered away toward her death in her hospital bed. A sad ending to a sad life. She’d always wanted more. More money. More of my father. More from me. The money never came. Neither did my father. And me? I don’t know why I’d never been enough for her. Maybe it was because I looked so much like the man she’d wanted more from with my black hair and blue eyes that resembled his so strongly. She didn’t stay awake long, and most days she didn’t even recognize me. The cancer had eaten away at her brain, so when she looked at me sometimes I knew she had no idea who I was sitting there. But then every so often I’d see a look of recognition in her eyes, and she’d reach for my hand and give me a tiny smile. “Kane.” “Shhh, don’t talk. I’m here.” “It’s almost time. You need to get ready. Don’t want to be late,” she said as if I had somewhere to go. I had nowhere to go. Just there and the prison cell that waited for me in three days. “It’s okay, Mom. I won’t be late.” “The school called, Kane. They say you miss a lot.” She slipped back into the past, but not too far this time. Just a few months, before I killed a man and got sentenced to prison. Before the cancer had come to take her away. I watched as she looked up at me and waited for my answer to her unspoken question of why I missed so much school. Quietly, I answered, “I’m sorry, Mom. Holly likes to—” My mother’s eyes narrowed in anger. “A girl? You miss school for a girl?” She never liked Holly. She never liked even the idea of me with anyone. Wanting to avoid the same argument we’d had every time I mentioned Holly’s name, I simply nodded and smiled. “Okay. I won’t anymore.” “Good. You don’t know. It’s not right.” I sat with my eyes closed as she rambled on incoherently, the words strung together making no sense. At least today I’d gotten a few minutes with her really there with me. Taking my hand in hers, she squeezed it softly. “Your father is going to want to change you now, Kane. Don’t let him.” My father and I becoming close had always been her biggest fear. She hated him as much as she loved him, and now that she saw the end coming, she worried he’d finally remember I existed for more than a visit or two every decade. I looked down into her eyes and saw she was there with me now. “Nobody’s going to change me, Mom.” She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them again, I wasn’t sure she still knew who I was, but in a quiet voice, she whispered, “Good. You were meant to be who you are now, Kane.” Who I was now was a man convicted of murdering the man who’d taken everything I loved from me.

How could she think anyone could be meant to be that? I nodded and forced a smile, believing she must have slipped away again. “Okay, Mom.” “You were meant to hurt, Kane. From the minute I found out I was carrying you, I knew this. You were meant to hurt. Never forget that.” She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, somehow comforted like she’d always been by what she believed I truly was. Maybe she was right. Maybe that was my place in this world. With the exception of Holly, all I’d ever done was hurt from the day I was born. As I watched my mother sleep, her words echoed in my ears. You were meant to hurt, Kane. Never forget that.

Chapter One

Abbi MY VISION BLURRED AS THE final blow from Aaron’s fist pounded into my cheekbone, knocking me back against the closet door. The pain radiated up into my eye as I lost my balance and fell in a heap on the floor. He bellowed something about it being my fault, but his words were drowned out by the sound of ringing in my ears. I closed my eyes to push away the pain and felt the toe of his boot jam hard into my left hip. Crying out in pain, I quickly stopped myself, knowing how much he hated when I complained. Aaron leaned down close enough that I felt his hot breath on my aching cheek. “One more fucking word, Abbi, and I swear to fucking God I’ll kill you! And don’t fucking cry! One tear and I swear I’ll hit you so hard.” I lifted my hands to shield myself from another blow, but that only angered him more and he slapped me hard across the face. My head bounced off the broken door, and for a moment I saw only black in front of my eyes. “When I get back, you better have this mess cleaned up. Do you hear me?” he roared near my ear. Unable to form even the simplest word, I nodded so he wouldn’t hit me again. Terror raced through me as I felt his palm cup my cheek. Opening my eyes, I saw him crouching down next to me. His dark brown eyes flashed his rage, and he whispered in a voice laced with anger, “Baby, you know I hate it when you make me do stuff like this, don’t you?” I answered as I knew I must. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Gently stroking my swelling cheek, he leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be back in an hour. We’ll go for a nice dinner and then come back here, okay? Give me one of those Abbi smiles I love.” As the corners of my mouth slowly hitched up, the pain in my cheekbone once again exploded into my eye, but I kept my smile pressed in place so he’d think his suggestion made me happy. Inside, I wanted to throw up at the thought of ever doing anything again with him. “That’s my girl. See you in an hour.” Barely able to speak, I whispered, “Okay, Aaron. I’ll make everything right. I promise.” My eyes fluttered closed as I watched him walk out the front door to our apartment. The sound of a door closing had never sounded so comforting before in my life. I couldn’t do this anymore. One of these days he was going to kill me over something small like the toothpaste tube not being rolled up correctly or a dirty glass left in the sink. I couldn’t give him that chance. I may not ever have been truly strong, but I couldn’t be weak anymore. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to sleep so I wouldn’t feel the pain, but if I did and he returned, he’d fly into another rage, so I gingerly pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. I tried to take a deep breath to prepare myself to stand, but a sharp pain stabbed through my chest and I nearly fell back onto the floor in agony. Panting, I straightened myself up and reached out to grab onto the doorframe, slowly standing on shaky legs. “Oh, God,” I moaned as I got the first glance of the wreck our place was after Aaron’s rage. My grandmother’s treasured blue glass vase lay shattered on the floor near the couch where he’d thrown it at my head after I hesitated with my answer to some question I couldn’t remember now. I’d had that vase

since she gave it to me right before she died, and now it was gone, smashed into a hundred splintered pieces. I picked up the bits of blue glass from the carpet, cutting my fingers as I collected the shards of the most important possession I owned, my mind numb. How had things gotten to this point? In just ten months, Aaron had turned into a monster. Sweet and caring when we met, he’d changed overnight when we moved in together. After dating three months, he went from the man I loved who doted on me to the man I feared would kill me one day. Scanning the room for my phone, I saw it lying face down near the coffee table. I bent down and picked it up, turning it on as I prayed to God it still worked after Aaron bounced it off the wall. A crack ran diagonally across the screen, but miraculously, the home screen appeared after a few moments. Gemma’s number was on speed dial, so I just pressed 2 and hoped the call went through. Her phone rang, and a feeling of relief washed over me. Gemma would help. She always did. “Hey, Abbi, what’s up?” she asked in her usual sweet voice. “I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer to stay with you for a little bit. I think I need to leave here.” “Oh, honey, what happened? Are you okay? Did he hit you again?” “He’s coming back in a few minutes, Gemma. Can you come get me?” She instantly kicked into protective mode. “I’m coming right now, Abbi. I want you to stay on the phone with me until I get there, okay? If he comes in, hang up and call 9-1-1. I’ll call too so the cops know to come quick.” “Okay.” “I’m getting in my car now, so I’m just a few miles away. While you’re waiting, gather up some clothes, honey. We’ll take whatever we can and find someone to help us get the rest of your stuff later.” I made my way around the glass that lay all over the floor to the bedroom to get some clothes. My head throbbed with every step as I struggled to find what I needed. “My eye hurts, Gemma. It’s hard to see through my left eye.” “I’m driving as fast as I can, Abbi. It won’t be long now. If I’m not there when he gets back, I need you to promise me you’ll call 9-1-1. You can’t let him hit you anymore.” As I tried to find something to wear, I remembered Aaron had thrown out nearly all my clothes that morning because he’d sworn I’d cheated on him. All that was left in the drawers and the closet was a bridesmaid gown and two sweaters with holes in them. The sight of a closet full of all those empty hangers was too much, and tears began to flow down my cheeks. He’d taken everything away from me. “Abbi, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Is he there? Hang up and call the cops now!” I slumped against the side of the bed and let the tears come. “No, he’s not here. It’s just that I don’t have anything left. He took all my clothes and threw them out. I have nothing to wear except the jeans and sweatshirt I’ve got on now.” “Oh, sweetie, don’t worry. We’ll get you something to wear. You can borrow my clothes until then. We’re about the same size, so don’t cry. I’m turning onto your street now, so grab what you need and I’ll get you out of there.” A few minutes later, I heard a car pull up in front of the apartment, and fear tore through me at the thought that Aaron had come back so soon. Struggling to stand, I got back up on my feet and prepared to call the police. The sound of the door opening made me freeze where I stood, but in seconds I saw Gemma’s sweet face appear in the doorway. Her smile quickly faded as she got her first look at the aftermath of his rage on my face. As she came

toward me, I saw in her eyes how bad I must look. “Oh, honey, are you okay? Does it hurt enough to go to the emergency room?” she asked as she examined my broken and bruised face. I hung my head, ashamed of what I’d let him do to me yet again. “Please let’s go, Gemma. I need to leave here. I didn’t get anything packed, though.” She sprang into action, clearing off my dresser into her purse and grabbing whatever underwear and bras she could lay her hands on. “I’ve got some things here. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you. We need to go now, honey.” Nodding, I quietly said, “Okay.” Looking around, I knew this might be the last time I saw this place I’d called home for the last six months. I’d loved this apartment when we first moved in with its new carpet and freshly painted walls. Aaron had promised we’d make a life together in this place. Gently, she guided me out to her car, and as I watched my home fade into the distance, she drove me away to hers where for at least that night I could be safe.

* I WOKE UP HOURS LATER on her living room couch, every muscle and bone in my body aching so much I wanted to cry, but I feared that would hurt even more. Gemma sat in a chair nearby ready to offer a glass of water and some painkillers she had left over from when she had a tooth taken out months before. She placed two large white pills in my hand and smiled. “If I remember correctly, Vicodin killed most of my pain then. Hopefully, they’re still good.” Popping them into my mouth, I took a gulp of water and washed them down, hoping they’d work quickly to ease the pain that seemed to be everywhere in my body. Sighing, I lay back down against the pillow, loving the coolness against my battered cheek. “Thanks. If they knock me out, know that I’m not trying to be a rude guest.” Her dark green eyes lit up, and she flashed me one of her terrific smiles. “Never. You rest and when you wake up later you can have something to eat. I’ll make you those rice balls you like.” I looked over at her as she tried to remember what they were called. “Arancini. That’s what the rice balls are called. Aren’t you Italian? Shouldn’t you know that?” She made a face and flipped her jet black hair off her shoulder. “Yes, I’m a proud Italian woman, but that doesn’t mean I know those rice ball things are called Arancini. I’ll make my world famous sauce too. Remember how much you loved it that one time I made it for you?” I closed my eyes and smiled at the memory of Gemma’s Italian dinner party months before. Aaron and I had just begun dating then, and her dinner had been one of his first times meeting my friends. Everyone loved him, except Gemma. Even from that first night, she’d sensed something about him she didn’t like. If only I’d listened to her gut feeling then. “Sounds great. I’m sure I’ll be hungry later.” “Honey, I want you to know you can stay here as long as you need to. I know you’re still looking for a job, but that doesn’t matter. You can stay as long as you want.” I looked over at the back of the chair where my purse hung. “All the money I have is in my wallet, but you can have it. It’s not much, but it’s all I have now until I find a job.” “I’m not going to take the last of your money, sweetie. About the job, though, what about where I work? I like it there, and I was thinking you would too.” Gemma danced at Club X, and even though she’d raved about it dozens of times, I wasn’t sure it was

the right job for me. “I’ve never danced like that. Why would they hire me?” “Because I can tell them you’re a great person who they should hire. Kane will listen to me.” “Don’t they require experience?” “You were a Storm cheerleader, Abbi. That’s more experience than most dancers have when they begin. You’d do fine.” I hung my head at her mention of my time as a cheerleader for the Tampa Bay Storm, the local arena football team. I’d worked so hard to get a spot on the squad, but after showing up with a black eye twice and not being able to do the routines because of a beating Aaron had given me, they’d kicked me off. “That’s not the same kind of dancing, Gemma.” She reached over and squeezed my forearm. “Honey, it’s a good job and you’d be able to work with me. Think about it.” Sighing, I nodded. “Okay, I’ll think about it. What’s it like?” “It’s not a bad job, Abbi. The hardest part for me is making sure I can fit into the outfits. You know how I love sweets. Other than that, it’s just dancing.” I stared at her knowing there was more to the job than that. “And? I’ve heard about Club X. Isn’t it more like stripping?” She nodded and shrugged. “For some. I don’t do the nude stuff. Maybe someday. You wouldn’t have to either, unless you wanted to. You certainly have the body for it, though.” At that moment, all I knew about my body was it hurt all over. The Vicodin hadn’t kicked in yet, and my cheekbone felt like it could explode out of my face at any moment. Dancing, nude or otherwise, was the last thing on my mind. “I don’t know. I could go back to waitressing. I always made decent money doing that.” “You could, but dancing pays a lot better.” More money piqued my interest. “How much better? More than you used to make at the diner?” “Let’s just say that it’s not out of the question for me to make seven hundred to a thousand on a really good week, depending on where Kane puts me. If it’s with people who tip well, I can do pretty good. Way better than I used to make waitressing.” “And that’s without going nude?” “Yeah, but that’s working all five nights at eight hours each. Some girls don’t work the whole eight like I do, but I guess if they’re stripping they make more money in less time.” “So what kind of dancing is this if you don’t take off your clothes?” I asked, suddenly curious about this job of hers. If the money was that good, it wouldn’t take me long to make enough to get the hell out of Tampa and begin a new life where nobody knew me. I’d miss Gemma, but she’d understand. We’d both seen our share of bad because of men, and even though hers never beat her, she was no stranger to heartbreak. “The top three floors of the club have fantasy rooms, and each room has a place for dancers. It’s sort of like a room next to a room. A window in one wall of the fantasy room separates me from the people in the room. So all I have to do is dance for them. Not everyone who reserves a room wants a dancer, but when they do, that’s how it happens.” “Do they see you?” Gemma seemed to think about my question and nodded again. “Yeah, but it’s not really like they’re there, at least not for me. I listen to the music and just dance.” The way she described it didn’t sound so bad. I could probably do that. The dancing nude sounded terrifying, but if it meant a lot more money, maybe I could get over how scary it all sounded. “Do the ones who strip also dance behind the window?”

“Some do. Others do the usual kind of erotic dancing in the room with the members. I couldn’t do that. I know a few girls who do, but it’s not for me. Then there are others who act out the fantasies people want.” “Just so I’m getting this straight, they don’t make you do anything you don’t want to, like dance nude, right?” Gemma smiled and shook her head. “They don’t. Trust me, you’re going to love the guys who run the club. The one owner never comes out of his office, it seems. He and his fiancée take care of all the club business together. Cassian and Olivia are really sweet. Then there’s Stefan. He used to be a huge horndog, but since he met his girlfriend, he’s a changed man. And the one who’s in charge of the dancers and the whole fantasy thing is named Kane. You’re going to love him. Trust me.” A childhood of twice a week Bible study marched through my brain at the mention of his name. “As in the son of Adam and Eve who killed his brother?” “Not Cain, with a C. His name is Kane, K-A-N-E. Like candy.” “That’s with a C too,” I said with a chuckle that sent a stabbing pain shooting through my ribs. “What’s this Kane like?” Gemma leaned forward in her seat like she had something important to say. “All the girls love him. As long as you do your work, you’ll love him too. I’ve seen him rough up a few of the members when they got out of line with a couple of the dancers. He doesn’t take any shit when it comes to us. Owners aren’t always like that, but he is.” The idea of a man protecting women instead of beating up on them sounded good. She’d almost convinced me to apply for the dancer job. Almost. “I’m going to call him and see when he can give you an interview,” she said as she jumped off the chair to get her phone. “No…” Leaning off the couch, I reached out to stop her but my hand only caught air. She was off like a shot toward the other room so full of enthusiasm for us working together, but I wasn’t so sure I could do it. Even though I’d be fully clothed, dancing for people in fantasy rooms scared me. It seemed so—exposed, even with clothes on. What if I couldn’t do it? I rolled back onto the couch to ease the pain of my aching ribs. Closing my eyes, I tried to push away the memory of Aaron’s fists hitting my side and the pain shooting through my bones as he punched me over and over. He was probably back at the house by now, furious that I hadn’t cleaned up the mess he’d made and left without telling him where I was going. A spike of fear pressed into my mind. What if he figured out where I was and came looking for me? If he found me here, Gemma could get hurt, along with her beautiful apartment. Pushing myself up, I slowly swung my legs off the couch to stand. I needed to get out of there before anyone else found themselves on the receiving end of Aaron’s anger or his fists. “Hey, I got you an interview for Thursday night. What are you doing?” I looked up and saw Gemma staring down at me. “I have to go. I don’t want Aaron to find me here and hurt you too.” She placed her hand on my shoulder and stilled my movement. “Abbi, sit down. I’m not going to get hurt, honey. Don’t worry. If he comes here, I’ll get the cops and they’ll take care of him.” I lowered myself to the couch and hung my head. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt too. He’ll be furious if he figures out where I am.” “Then he’ll have to deal with me. I’m pretty fucking sick of his bullshit, so he doesn’t want to mess with me today. For now, you can stay on that couch until you feel better. I don’t have work tonight, so I’ll

be right here the whole time. I won’t give him the chance to hurt you again.” Looking up at her, I saw in those beautiful green eyes of hers she meant business. “Okay. I think the Vicodin are kicking in anyway, so I’ll just stay here and hope I feel better.” “Good. And when you wake up, I’ll make the Arancini. Then tomorrow you can start a brand new life and in a few days you can start a new job.” I closed my eyes as she chirped away about all the great things I truly wished would come true. A brand new life and a new job sounded exactly like what I needed.

Chapter Two

Abbi SIX O’CLOCK THURSDAY CAME FAST, but the closer my interview came, the more unsure of myself I felt. My ribs still killed, and the bruise on my cheek had turned a deep reddish-purple color. As I stared into Gemma’s bathroom mirror, at least I could be thankful that my face no longer looked like a Botox appointment gone horribly wrong. Blowing my bangs off my face, I shook my head in disbelief that Gemma would ever find a way to make me look presentable. I looked mangy. That’s what I felt like too. Like a stray dog who’d been kicked too many times and just couldn’t believe life would ever be any better than it was right at that moment, bruises and all. I heard her buzzing around in her room getting ready for her shift at Club X and couldn’t help but be infected by her enthusiasm. Gemma was like that. When she felt happy, she made everyone around her happy. I loved her for that, especially since it was her strength that had made leaving Aaron possible. Her singing, no matter how off key, made me smile, and looking in the mirror again, I saw something of that person I’d been before everything happened with Aaron. God, how had I let myself get so torn apart? “Hey, chickie, what do you think, black pants or blue? I like the black. Blondes always look great in black.” I turned around to see her holding two pairs of dress pants up in front of me. Gemma leaned her head toward the black pair and rolled her eyes toward them. “I guess the black then since you’re doing the mind trick thing to get me to pick them. But wouldn’t a skirt be better?” Her gaze traveled to my legs, and I looked down to see a huge black and blue mark on the inside of my left knee. I hadn’t realized Aaron had caught me there. Sheepishly, I looked away, too embarrassed to face her. “Easily explainable, if you want to wear a skirt, Abbi. I mean, people trip over things every day. No biggie. I doubt anyone will even notice it.” “No, you were right with the pants,” I said quietly as I took them from her hand. “What do you think I should wear on top?” She began fussing with the back of my hair as she explained what she’d picked out for me to wear as a shirt. “On top, I think you need to let Kane see the blessings the good Lord has given you. I have an adorable little top that you’ll look great in. You get the pants on and I’ll be right back.” I did as she said and stripped off the T-shirt she’d given me. Standing there in front of the mirror in just my bra, I looked down at the blessings the good Lord had given me, thankful they weren’t bruised too. I examined my arms to make sure Aaron hadn’t caught me anywhere with a wild punch, but somehow I’d been pretty much spared from the neck down, except for my ribs, my left hip that still ached, and that bruise on my leg. Gemma came up behind me and held out the shirt for me to see. “Check it out! I admit I’m partial to green, but even I don’t look as great as you will in this pale green number. I love the bows on the shoulders too. So cute! You’re going to look fantastic in this.” Slipping the top over my head, I straightened the bows over my bra straps and looked in the mirror.

When she was right, she was right. The light green next to my pale blond hair looked great, and the shirt did just what I needed it to. Smiling, I looked behind me at her in the mirror. “It’s great, Gemma. And best of all, it makes my boobs look great.” She twirled the back of my hair again and rested her chin on my left shoulder to look into the mirror with me. “Your boobs look great all the time. This just makes them even better. Now how do the top and pants feel? You need to look confident in the interview, so I don’t want you having to fidget because you’re uncomfortable.” “They feel great. I think if I wear my own shoes it’ll be okay, right?” “I think so. They’re pretty nice and have that good platform heel action that we tiny girls need. Other than that, just remember to stress your time as a Storm cheerleader and knowing me and you’ll be fine.” I nodded and wished I could feel as positive as she did. From the neck down, I looked great. From the neck up, well, that was an entirely different story. How we were ever going to cover up that horrible bruise just under my eye I had no idea. Gemma must have been reading my mind because she set to work digging through her makeup bag on the back of the bathroom sink, pulling out tubes of concealer and every possible kind of cosmetics to make me look like a normal job applicant and not some girl who’d been used as a punching bag just a few days before. By the time she finished applying all that makeup, my face had been transformed from bruised and spotty to nearly flawless. Only a tiny hint of Aaron’s handiwork could be seen on my cheek, and for the first time since Gemma had mentioned the chance at a job with her at Club X, I honestly believed it could happen. She turned me around to study her creation and smiled. “You look gorgeous! Now show them the you I know and you’ll be a shoo-in. Once you get the job, I’ll ask Kane if he’d be willing to schedule us together for a while so we can drive to work together.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, the pain in my ribs stabbing at me. “Okay, sounds good. What time is it?” “Nearly quarter after six. Let’s get going so we’re not late.” “Okay. I just have to brush my teeth and I’ll be ready to roll.” “Great! See you outside!” Gemma closed the bathroom door, and as I began to brush my teeth, I really looked at the woman staring back at me. Twenty-two years old, I needed to get my life together. No more boyfriends who took more than they gave. No more making excuses for the mess my life had become. If Gemma could put in a good word for me with the owners of Club X, the least I could do was be someone who deserved that effort. That woman in the mirror could be more than just some man’s punching bag.

* GEMMA SQUEEZED MY HAND AS she opened the door to Club X and moved up to fuss with the hair around my face. “Just remember how terrific you are, okay?” I plastered a smile on my face. “Got it. Terrific.” “Now let’s go in and get you a job!” Following her into the club, I looked around at the huge space that was Club X. She’d described the upper floors but not the nightclub itself. Even empty, the bar looked impressive. I wouldn’t be working in

this area, but I was still impressed with the size of the place and the huge glass bar. “Cassian’s office is in the back, so that’s where you’ll have your interview. I can’t go in, but I’ll be right out here when you get done. Just walk straight back and look for the door on the left.” Gemma squeezed my hand again, and I walked away to meet the three owners of Club X. She’d given me all the ins and outs of each man, so I knew what to expect. Cassian was the businessman. Stefan was the bar manager and still a flirt, despite being with someone now. And Kane was the one I had to impress, even if at first he scared the hell out of me. Oh, and they were all drop dead gorgeous. The door to the room I suspected was Cassian’s office was open a crack, so I knocked gently. A male voice told me to come in, so I pushed the door open to see three large men staring at me. The one behind the desk waved me in, and as he introduced all of them, I saw Gemma had been right on the money with her descriptions of the Club X owners. Cassian wore a dark grey suit and definitely looked all business, even if he was knockout good looking in a cool way with his dark hair and stunning blue eyes. Stefan stood next to him in jeans and a T-shirt that showed off the tattoos covering his muscular arms. He had a real good time vibe in his deep brown eyes, tussled light brown hair, and friendly smile. Kane stood off to the side of them, much larger than both the other men and staring at me almost angrily with his striking blue eyes. Dressed in black pants and a dark red long sleeved T-shirt, he had an intimidating look to him, but the tattoos peeking out from under his sleeves across his wrists and the top of his hands made me think there was more to him than the menacing man in front of me now. One thing was certain. He may have looked like Cassian, but one glance told me the two of them couldn’t have been more different. “Please take a seat, Abbi,” Cassian said as I gingerly sat down in the leather chair in front of his desk, pain shooting through my left hip. “I do all the general managing of Club X and Stefan handles the bar, so we’ll only be involved in the first part of the interview. Kane will take over the second part because you’re interested in being a dancer.” I nodded and smiled nervously. I’d never had an interview like this before. Waitressing jobs didn’t really require getting dressed up or answering a whole lot of questions. “Tell us about yourself, Abbi.” Oh, God. I couldn’t do this. Nothing about me would make anyone want to hire me. If I was lucky, they’d want me in spite of the fact that everything about me was a mess. My legs began to shake, and I stammered out in a soft voice, “Wha…what would you like to know?” Cassian smiled, instantly calming my nerves. “Tell us how you heard about Club X.” I swallowed hard. “My friend Gemma works here as a dancer. She told me how much she likes working here, so when she said she’d try to help me get a job here too, I said yes.” Cassian seemed to like my answer, if his warm smile was any indication, and Stefan flashed me a smile too as I finished my answer. But Kane only grimaced as he had from the moment I walked into the room. Thankfully, he wasn’t conducting the interview or I’d have been sent home after the first time I opened my mouth. Instead, Cassian continued to ask me questions, and with each answer, I knew I was winning him and Stefan over. Two out of three wasn’t bad, but Gemma had warned me I had to win Kane over most. I smiled at him, hoping he’d warm up to me, but all I got in return was the same gruff expression and angry glare. “Abbi, do you have any experience dancing in a club?” Cassian asked after looking at a sheet of paper that sat in front of him. “No, but I was a Tampa Storm cheerleader and I know how to dance.”

My answer seemed to please the two men I’d already impressed, but once again Kane simply frowned. Why did he dislike me so much even though we’d just met? After a few more questions about me and my background, Cassian said, “Okay, Abbi. Give us a few minutes and Kane will be out to join you when we’re done.” I stood from my seat and extended my hand to shake Cassian’s and Stefan’s hands. Both men thanked me for coming in, but when I turned to shake Kane’s hand, it was like he dreaded touching me. Reluctantly, he took my hand in his and I noticed how large his was compared to his brothers’. Rougher too, it felt hard against my skin. For the briefest moment, he shook mine before turning away to speak to his brothers. No thank you. No nothing. Just more grimacing. Gemma came toward me all smiles as I entered the bar. “So how did it go? Aren’t they as nice as I said?” Workers began to come in past us, and I struggled to hold back my tears as my disappointment settled in. “Cassian and Stefan were very nice, but I don’t think Kane liked me. He didn’t ask one question and didn’t even say thank you to me for coming in like his brothers did. I don’t think I did very well.” “Oh, sweetie. Maybe you’re just judging yourself too harshly. I bet they loved you. Don’t worry about Kane. Sometimes he goes entire shifts without saying a word to any of us. He’s going to watch you dance now, so you still have a chance to convince him.” Terror raced through me. “You didn’t tell me I’d have to dance tonight, Gemma! How am I going to do that? I’m not dressed for it, and every muscle in my body still hurts.” She held me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes. “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. It wouldn’t matter if you were wearing a burlap sack. Just listen to the music and dance. You can do this. I know it will hurt, but this can be the start of a new life for you.” “It’s a big jump from cheerleader to dancer, Gemma. What if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? I’ve never even seen you dance.” I hung my head as the tears began to well in my eyes. “This was a mistake.” As I stood there with Gemma, my emotions began to run away with me. Between the knockdown dragout with Aaron and my body still aching like a bus hit it, I couldn’t handle this. Kane obviously didn’t like me—or maybe he didn’t like Gemma helping me get an interview? I had no idea. All I knew was I couldn’t do this. “…you’ll be fine. Abbi? Abbi, talk to me. It’s going to be okay.” I looked up behind Gemma and saw Kane leave Cassian’s office. Still wearing the same deep frown, he walked toward us in all his miserable, hulking glory. Whoever he was with Gemma, this guy definitely wasn’t a fan of mine. “Gemma, come here.” His deep, husky voice resonated around us, and Gemma obeyed immediately. I imagined most people reacted that way to his voice. It hit me like one of Aaron’s punches, sending fear tearing through me. Straining to listen to their conversation, I leaned toward them and heard him say, “Gemma, you’ve always been a good employee, so I trust you. Can she even do this job? She looks like she’s afraid of her own shadow. What’s going on with her?” Gemma whispered, “She’s a good person who needs a break, Kane. I’ll give my word on it she can dance as well as anyone here. She thinks you don’t like her, so she’s unsure of herself. That’s why she looks so frightened.” He looked past her directly at me and twisted his face into an expression even more miserable than before. Then our gazes met and for a moment he didn’t look so terrible. I saw a gentleness in his eyes that

made all my fear ebb away. Unfortunately, that moment passed quickly and he knitted his brows as he turned back to Gemma. “I don’t need some frightened bird working for me. She needs to be able to handle herself. Right now, I don’t think she can.” “Kane, give her a chance. She’s much tougher than you think. Trust me. I know. She’s a survivor.” “Fine. Give me a couple minutes and send her up.” With that, he stomped away toward the stairs on the far side of the room, never even speaking a word to me. Gemma walked back and gave me what could only be described as a forced smile. Even she knew this was a mistake. “Okay, I guess I should admit that Kane can be a little grumpy.” “Grumpy? Grumpy’s a dwarf who’s a little cranky, Gemma. Your boss hasn’t done anything but frown since he first looked at me. He won’t even speak to me.” “I know. I don’t understand why he’s acting like this. Maybe he’s having a bad day. Don’t pay any attention to that. Just go up to his office on the top floor and show him your stuff. I’ll be down here waiting for you, okay?” “Okay, but if this goes like I think it’s going to, I want you to know I appreciate you trying to help me.” “None of that talk.” Gently pushing me toward the staircase, she added, “Just ignore his mood and show him the real you.” With each step, the real me felt like she was going to throw up, either from nerves or the pain in my hip. The knot in my stomach that had begun to form during the interview tightened into a ball of fear so intense I almost turned around as I hit the last step on the top floor. I didn’t, but as I searched for Kane, I wanted to. I just didn’t want to let Gemma down. “Hello?” I tentatively called out as I walked down the dimly lit hallway. “In here,” he barked from a room behind me. Turning around, I made my way to where his voice had come from and found him sitting behind a wooden desk that seemed too small for someone his size. For the first time, he didn’t frown when he looked at me, and those blue eyes of his didn’t seem to shoot daggers in my direction. “Come in.” I stepped into his office and stood there as he had no chairs in front of his desk like Cassian had. He continued to stare at me, and while I wanted to break my stare, something inside me told me not to. He didn’t need to think he scared me as much as he really did. “You don’t say much, do you?” “I could say the same,” I answered, suddenly accepting that if this wasn’t going to end up with me getting a job at least I’d be myself. Gemma had said to show him the real me. “Do I frighten you?” he asked, never taking his gaze off my face. I’d expected him to be more interested in my body. “You did for a little while, but I’ve had to deal with much worse than you.” For the first time, his eyes trailed down my body and then made their way back up to my face. With the frown he’d worn for nearly every minute since meeting me, he said in a low voice, “I bet you have.” I had no idea how to respond or if I was even supposed to say anything to that, so I stood there in his office as he sat behind his desk staring back at me. I’d had some odd interviews, but this definitely ranked high on the bizarre meter. Even worse, I doubted I’d get the job after all his weird behavior. “I need to see your body, and I can’t in those pants. You look fine otherwise, but you’ll have to put a skirt on.” Confused as to where I’d produce this necessary skirt from, I opened my mouth to explain I didn’t

have one, but he cut me off and handed me a black skirt I instantly knew would barely touch the middle of my thighs. “Where do you want me to change?” I asked, worried about that bruise on my leg. “Go out into the hallway and go in the first door on the right. Change and then go through the back door of that room into the hallway and look for the room with the light on.” Still confused but sure I had nothing to lose, I followed his directions to the letter and when I had changed into the skirt, I walked toward the room with the light, noticing the glass on the left wall of the hallway. This was how the dancers appeared in the rooms behind the windows. Stopping when I reached the light, I turned to see him sitting on a couch in the room, his long legs casually spread in front of him and his arms fully extended out to the sides. For the first time, Kane looked appealing, even sexy. He said nothing and made no movement to instruct me on what he wanted me to do. Unsure of what he expected, I simply stared out through the window at him. He stared back, locking his gaze on mine, and I thought I saw the hint of a smile. Just as I opened my mouth to ask what I should do, soft music began playing. Still, he made no movement to let me know what he wanted me to do, so I closed my eyes and listened as the sensual rhythm washed over me. Then I did as Gemma had told me to and danced for him.

Chapter Three

Kane AS SOON AS ABBI SHOWED up in front of that window, I knew what I’d suspected was true. The reason she seemed so frightened became clear. Gemma had done a great job hiding the bruise on her face, but I’d seen enough girls in this job to know when makeup was being used to conceal instead of enhance. Then when I saw Abbi standing there in that skirt, the huge purple bruise on the inside of her knee told me all I needed to know. I watched as she danced for me, easily better than any of the dancers I already had. As she moved, her body seduced me, and I knew she’d be a favorite of club members. Petite, she possessed a gracefulness that reminded me of a swan, delicate and soft. She was beautiful like an angel in the soft light of the room with her long blond hair gently flowing over the pale skin of her shoulders. Just watching her behind that window made me want her. But for all that, I saw things in her that signaled trouble. The bruises told me the ugly secrets of her private life, and I didn’t need a dancer who brought that to my work. Beneath the telltale signs of abuse were the more subtle signs, like the wince that marred her beautiful face when she moved the wrong way and likely hurt already painful ribs. Somebody had beaten her and recently too. It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen this before. My line of work involved more of this kind of behavior than I preferred to see. That someone much bigger than she had laid their hands on her body in anger sickened me. No matter what she’d said or done, she didn’t deserve that. The music began to fade away, and even as I regretted that she’d stopped dancing for me, I knew it was for the best. I couldn’t help her, no matter how much I wanted to. When she finished her audition, I forced myself to wave her away, and she left, her expression one of confusion and rejection. I saw her minutes later after she’d changed out of the loaner skirt into the pants meant to hide the evidence of what some boyfriend had done to her. Looking up at me, she waited for me to tell her she’d gotten the job. “One of us will let you know,” I said flatly, unable to tell her I’d already made my decision as she stared at me with hope in her big blue eyes. I watched her walk away as I tried to convince myself I’d done the right thing. If only the twinge in my chest didn’t make me feel like shit for doing it. By the time I reached the first floor, I’d pushed aside whatever she’d brought out in me. Entering Cash’s office, I found him and Stefan still there. “How’d the girl work out?” Stefan asked in his usual enthusiastic tone. “She seemed perfect to me.” Eager to take the attention off myself and my decision, I said, “I thought you’d given up on molesting the help since you and Shay got together. Back to your old tricks?” A look of hurt crossed his face. “No. I just thought she’d be a good dancer. She has a great body, and she’s cute. Nice eyes. The members who like the dancers would love her.” Leave it to Stefan to hit the nail perfectly on the head. The members would love her. She’d probably make a killing every night she worked. Too bad she’d never get the chance. Cassian looked at me and shrugged. “So? Can she dance or not?”

“Not really,” I lied. “I don’t think she’ll work out.” “Are you fucking crazy? How bad was she?” Stefan asked, instantly pushing my buttons. I sat down in the chair next to him and shook my head, trying to remain aloof. “She’s just not right for what I need up there. I’ll let her know tomorrow.” “Forget that. I’ll take her. She may not be able to dance, but I bet she can serve drinks like a champ. My regulars will love her. Those big blue eyes will have them throwing money at her and us. Give me her number and I’ll call her. Better to hear good news from me instead of your bad news from you.” Stefan’s interest in Abbi bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but it did. He’d seemed to have turned over a new leaf since Shay, but was it possible that was all an act? Was he back to fucking the women who worked under him? I knew almost nothing about Abbi, but she didn’t need someone like the old Stefan in her life. I couldn’t let him or Cash see I cared one way or another, though. “Whatever. I’ll get you the number when I go back upstairs.” “Great! Maybe she can start tomorrow.” Cash seemed to not notice Stefan’s enthusiasm at the prospect of Abbi’s becoming a bartender or my apprehension over her working at the club at all. “Well, now that that’s settled, Mason called me for a meeting. I think I’m beginning to miss Shank.” “He saved our asses, Cash. Mason can’t be that bad,” Stefan said quietly. “What he is is demanding. I’m worried one of these days that councilman of ours is going to make a demand we can’t meet. Then we’ll have problems.” The three of us sat silently as the thought of someone even worse than Shank made me worry about the future of our club. Every night it became harder and harder. Hopefully, the deal with Mason to secure Club X wouldn’t turn out to be a deal with the devil. “You and Olivia going to Mom’s tomorrow?” Stefan asked in an effort to change the subject. “Of course. You’ll be there? I’m sure she wants to hear all about what’s going on with you and Shay,” Cash said with a chuckle. “How is she?” “She’s good. She’ll be back in a few months and maybe I can even convince her to come back to bartend while she’s here.” Cash moved around his desk toward the door. “As long as she’s not going to sue us for sexual harassment, I’m fine with whatever she wants to do here.” “She loves me, so it can’t be sexual harassment. I’m a changed man, gentlemen.” I rolled my eyes at Stefan’s remark, secretly hoping it was the truth. I might not be able to hire Abbi, but I wanted to believe she’d be okay bartending for him. Standing to follow Cash, I felt Stefan jab me in the shoulder. “What the hell was that look for?” “No look. Just hoping we don’t have to shell out any more money on bartenders who aren’t as in love with you as you think.” He walked beside me as I headed out into the club. “I’m not the one Cash should be worrying about. I saw the way you looked at that girl, Kane. I get the feeling she’s just your type.” “Shut up, Stefan. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Yeah, yeah. I know what I saw. You can put that miserable guy face on all you want. You liked her. Not that I blame you. I like my women a little feistier, but whatever floats your boat. All I know is you liked her.” I stopped and turned to face him, hating that he could goad me like this. “If she was my type, wouldn’t I have hired her to dance for me?” He gave me a sneer. “I never claimed to understand how your mind works. I just saw the way you

reacted when I said she could bartend for me. You can fool Cash since he’s not paying attention because his head is full of all that wedding business, but I saw that look in your eyes. You don’t have to worry. I told you. I’m a changed man. She’s safe with me. I can even make sure nobody gets a chance with her, if you want.” “I don’t care what you do, Stefan. What that girl does or doesn’t do is none of my business. Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do upstairs.” I quickly got away from him before he saw how much it bothered me to think of Abbi with him. I didn’t know why, but it did and it had nothing to do with him being unfaithful to Shay. “Hey, don’t forget to give me her number,” he yelled as I hit the stairs. “I want to get her in here as soon as possible.” Waving him off, I headed back up to my office to bury myself in work and forget about Abbi, her big blue eyes, and the ugliness of her life I couldn’t seem to get out of my mind.

* I KNEW FROM STEFAN’S NIGHTLY reports to me that Abbi learned her job as a bartender pretty easily. Much to his amazement, she was a quick study. After he’d gotten over his surprise at her being more than just a gorgeous outside, he saw her as someone who could handle the highly coveted position of front bartender. Even as he told me these things night after night, I tried to convince him I didn’t want to know about her or how great she was at her job. Standing in front of me at my usual post on the top floor, he yammered on about her, and I held my hand up to stop him. “Why are you telling me all this?” “Because I know you like her, Kane. I don’t know why you didn’t hire her, but your loss is my gain. She’s a natural down there. Men love her. Hell, even women seem to like her serving them. You should come down and say hi.” “Thanks, but she and I aren’t friends.” I busied myself with paperwork, hoping to give him the clear hint that I wasn’t interested in what he had to say. Unfortunately, that’s not how Stefan worked. He’d gotten it into his head that I liked Abbi, and until that thought was proven wrong, he’d continue with these reports every night. “Kane, what is it with you? You never touch the dancers, and even though we have some gorgeous women working as bartenders downstairs, you never bother with them either. You live in that tiny apartment at the back of the building like some weird hermit. For the first time since we all began this thing, you like one of the girls. Why won’t you admit that and do something about it?” Stefan may have been my brother—or half-brother, to be more accurate—but he knew little about me. I’d made sure of that from day one, even as we’d hung out together as drinking buddies in the beginning. As different as night and day, he and I had few things in common. I was closer to Cash, maybe because we were almost the same age, but probably because his temperament was closer to mine. You could talk to Cash and trust him with what you said. Stefan was an entirely different story. Even if I wanted to admit that Abbi had moved me in some strange way, I could never say it to my younger brother. “There’s nothing to admit, and as far as I’m concerned, you can quit telling me this shit every fucking night.” Frustrated, he shrugged and shook his head. “Whatever. Just keep in mind that you can always stop down and say hi. She might like that. Maybe you could try to smile too. It might help.” Stefan turned and headed back down the stairs, disappearing into the darkness of the club. The truth was as much as I tried to act disinterested in his nightly rundown on Abbi, I began to look forward to

hearing about her progress behind the bar. I didn’t understand it, but there it was. I couldn’t put my finger on how, but in just those few minutes with her she’d made me feel something I hadn’t felt in years. And that’s what it would remain. A feeling and nothing more. Whatever spark she’d ignited in me as I watched her dance couldn’t be fed. It, like any other feelings I could have for her, needed to be extinguished for the good of both of us. Fate, or at least the people around me, seemed to have other ideas, however. Just as I got rid of Stefan, Gemma appeared in front of me for the first time since I hadn’t hired her friend. One of my favorite dancers, she wore an expression that told me I wasn’t one of her favorite people at the moment. “It was the bruise on her leg, wasn’t it? That’s why you didn’t hire her to dance,” she said as she stared up at me with anger in her eyes. “She got a job bartending, Gemma.” Her hands landed on her waist as her right hip shot out. “You know it’s not the same, Kane. You promised me you’d give her a chance and you didn’t. I think it’s because you thought she’d be a problem. Stefan doesn’t seem to have any problems with her, though.” I tore my gaze away and looked down at my paperwork. “Then it’s a good thing he wanted her to work for him.” Gemma tapped her finger on the papers I pretended to study. “I think there’s something else going on here. She told me how mean you were to her from the moment you met her. You’ve never been that way with me or any of the other girls. Why were you like that with her?” I lifted my head to see her stare boring holes in me as she waited for an answer. I had none to give her. I didn’t know why I’d reacted that way to Abbi, but from the very first moment I saw her, the need to push her away warred with an intense desire to protect her. I couldn’t explain either feeling. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Gemma? You still have three hours left on your shift.” Unsatisfied with my answer, she turned to leave, but stopped and turned back to face me. “I want you to know something. Three nights before her interview, Abbi’s boyfriend beat the hell out of her. When I brought her to my house, she offered me every last cent she had to thank me for helping her. That person you so easily dismissed because you saw a few bruises needed a break, and you refused to give her that. Thankfully, Stefan, of all people, isn’t like you. I thought you were better than that, Kane. Now you can fire me or do whatever you want for saying this, but it’s the truth.” The thought that Stefan had chosen to be a better person than I had bothered me almost as much as Abbi working under him. “Go back to work, Gemma.” She marched away, still angry with me, as I reeled from her words. She’d struck a nerve. That she didn’t understand why I’d refused to give Abbi a job didn’t matter. That I’d done what I did for Abbi as much as myself didn’t matter either. Fuck! Why did this girl get under my skin? After catching Samson as he headed off on his break and lying that I needed to handle something with one of the members, I found myself walking down the stairs toward the bar. I had no idea why, but something inside me pushed me to see her. Maybe it was the guilt trip Gemma had laid on me. Maybe it was Stefan’s suggestion I stop down to see how well she was doing. Whatever it was, ten minutes later I stood just a few feet away from the bar watching Abbi serve drinks to half a dozen men falling over themselves to talk to her. Her long blond hair tumbled over her shoulders down to her elbows, and she casually pushed it off her face each time it fell into her eyes. The movement made her seem awkward and innocent, and the men in front of her loved it. Just in case that didn’t make them fall hard, her big blue eyes focusing on them as she pretended to listen to every word they uttered did the trick. She looked like an angel, and with each smile she flashed the customers, I saw

Stefan’s quarterly income column swell along with every cock in the room. “Nice to see you took my advice and came down,” Stefan said in a loud voice next to me. I turned to see his shit eating grin and knew whatever I felt for Abbi was crystal clear, at least to him. “Don’t make this something it’s not, Stefan. I just decided to come down to see Cash.” Raising his eyebrows to show me he knew I was full of shit, he said, “As you well know, Cash and Olivia are down on Gasparilla Island until next week. He told us two days ago at our meeting. Remember?” Nabbed. “Let’s get a drink,” he said as he walked toward the section of the bar where Abbi stood. I followed him, secretly hoping the music would stop for long enough that I could at least ask how she liked it down here. The crowd of men scattered as I edged my way to the bar to stand next to Stefan, and for the first time since she’d danced for me my eyes met hers. She smiled at her boss and then me, making me think her friend had taken her not getting hired upstairs far worse than Abbi had. Leaning forward, she smiled even broader at Stefan and said over the music, “Hey, Stefan! What can I do for you, boss?” He turned toward me and said, “I brought someone down to say hi.” Abbi looked at me and in an icy voice that belied her sweet smile said, “Mr. March.” As I tried to keep the disappointment off my face, I heard Stefan laugh. “Oh yeah, I’ll leave you to it.” Surprised by the cold reception, I leaned forward toward her and said, “Jackson. My name’s not March. I’m only a half-brother.” As if the music stopped just in time for her to respond, suddenly it went quiet and she said, “I can see that. You’re nothing like your brothers. They’re sweet and friendly, Mr. Jackson.” Mr. Jackson. Obviously, Abbi hadn’t taken my rejection as well as I’d hoped. She leaned back to focus on the guy who’d pushed his way next to me, but I slid my hands out to the side along the bar to give him the clue that I wasn’t done yet. Much smaller than I, he understood my body language immediately and backed off. “Abbi, I hear from Stefan you’re doing well down here.” Her smile faded just enough to let me know she didn’t appreciate my comment. If I hadn’t understood that, what she said next made it perfectly clear. Placing her hands on the bar, she leaned in toward me and said, “I would have done fine up there with you too, but you decided not to give me that chance. Now do you need a drink, Mr. Jackson, or may I pay attention to paying customers?” Gemma hadn’t lied. Abbi certainly was tougher than she looked. Feeling defensive, I blurted out, “Jack neat” and worked to keep my expression from showing how her words had affected me. She flashed me a forced smile and turned back toward the wall of liquor bottles. Grabbing the Jack Daniels off the shelf above her, she pounded it down onto the bar. “There you go. Enjoy, Mr. Jackson.” I didn’t take my eyes off Abbi, but I saw in the mirror behind the bar the guy next to me looked stunned. Sure I didn’t want to stick around for any more of her anger, I grabbed the neck of the bottle and stormed off toward the stairs to head back to where I belonged to down as much Tennessee whiskey as it took to forget I’d ever had any ideas about this woman. Stefan caught up with me before I got away and pulled me aside, no doubt to rub my nose in it after watching Abbi reject me. His grin told me he’d enjoyed the show. “Planning on drinking tonight, Kane?” “Fuck you, Stefan.” “I’ve always wondered what it would look like when you actually tried to seduce a woman. Now I know why you don’t do it.” “Enjoying yourself? Is this why you wanted me to come down here?”

“No. I thought since she mentioned you a few times that she might like you too. Guess I was wrong, huh?” “Fuck off, Stefan. And just in case you plan on coming up to tell me any more about your bartenders, don’t. I’m not interested.” I left my half-brother and headed upstairs where I belonged. It had been a mistake to think I should make an effort to be something I wasn’t.

Chapter Four

Kane EVER SINCE I WAS A kid, the surest way to make me want something was to tell me I couldn’t have it. Once an idea made its way into my mind, it was there for good until I did something about it. The problem was with Abbi I couldn’t do anything. Fuck, I didn’t even understand why I wanted to do anything about her. Yes, I liked her from the minute I laid eyes on her, but I’d done the right thing and made sure any temptation from her ended when I didn’t hire her. Then why the fuck couldn’t I get her off my damn mind day and night? Two weeks of avoiding the bar and her, and each night as I sat alone with a bottle after everyone had left the club, I thought about her. No matter how drunk I got, all I could think of was her. It was wrong. I knew it. But it didn’t matter. For every time I told myself nothing good could ever come of her and me together, my mind went back to when I watched her dance, my body coming alive with each moment she was in front of me. I needed to forget her, but everything I tried only made me think of her more. I’d been successful in avoiding this because I knew how me being with any woman ended. For years, the memory of how I’d hurt the one soul I’d ever cared about had been enough to convince me I had to be alone. I’d accepted it. Some people shouldn’t love because all they caused was pain. I’d brought pain since the day I was born. Pain was all I was. My mother knew it. Holly found out too late. And if I didn’t find a way to fight whatever this was that Abbi made stir inside me, she’d be hurt too. I knew all of this but still it was her face in my dreams every night. I made my way down to the bar before the crowds of the evening and the music made talking to another person impossible. How Stefan worked in this every night escaped me, but he seemed to love it. All that noise and all those people packed in like sardines weren’t my ideas of a great workplace. The ruler of the bar stood at the end talking to three of his bartenders. Tapping him on the shoulder, I wanted to find out if Abbi was on the schedule for that night. I’d try once more to speak to her before I had to devise another way of getting her attention. “Where’s Abbi, Stefan?” He looked to his left and right and shrugged. “I don’t see her.” “Is she scheduled for tonight?” “I don’t know. Let me look.” He scanned the papers in front of him on the bar and shook his head. “She’s supposed to be here, but she called off.” “Why?” He twisted his face into a ridiculous expression. “How the fuck would I know? All I know is she called off.” Stefan stomped off toward his office, so I walked back upstairs to find Gemma. Hopefully, she knew where Abbi was. Alone in the dancers’ break room, she sat at a table playing on her phone. “Gemma, why isn’t Abbi at work tonight?” At the sound of my voice, she turned to face me. Narrowing her eyes, she shook her head. “Why?” “I want to know.”

“Why? What does it matter if she’s here or not?” I leaned against the doorframe, already tired of getting no answers from Stefan and now her. “Gemma, I’m asking you why she isn’t here. I’d like a straight answer.” “Are you going to tell me why you want to know?” “Gemma!” I bellowed, scaring her. Struggling to keep calm, I lowered my voice and tried to get through to her. “Please tell me why she isn’t here. That’s all I want to know.” She looked down at the floor and then back up at me. “I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone, Kane. She’ll be furious if she finds out I told you.” “I won’t tell her I found out from you. Just tell me why she isn’t here.” “Who else would you find out from? I know she didn’t tell Stefan the real reason why she called off.” “Jesus Christ, Gemma! Just tell me. It’s not like I’m going to do anything to her.” She hesitated and then in a tiny voice answered, “She’s at The Carousel Club.” A hundred thoughts, each one uglier than the one before, tore through my mind. The Carousel Club ranked as the city’s worst strip club. Some of my dancers had spent time there before coming to Club X, and I’d heard horror stories about the place. Negligent owners, patrons who were allowed to grab and fondle the dancers against their will, and a club that stunk of stale beer and desperation couldn’t equal the money that could be made. “Why is she there?” “She needs money, Kane. That’s why I asked you to help her out with a job. She thinks you didn’t hire her because she doesn’t have experience, so that’s what she’s getting.” Gemma continued to explain why Abbi had taken a job dancing at the nastiest club in town, but I wasn’t listening. My mind raced with all the horrible things that could be happening to her at that place. She’d gone there because I refused to hire her here, and now God only knew what they were doing to her over there. I stormed out to my office to find Samson to watch the floors while I left to head over to The Carousel Club. Pushing the Mustang’s gas pedal to the floor, I tore through the streets over the mile or so to where Abbi was and hoped she hadn’t been hurt already. The Carousel parking lot teemed with cars, even though it wasn’t even nine o’clock at night. Jesus, these guys liked it early and easy. No membership fees, no background checks, no discerning taste. Just skin and a lot of it at all hours of the day. I opened the front door and the stench of cigarette smoke and cheap booze smacked me right in the face. Nausea crept up into my throat as I stepped into the club, but I needed to forget that and find Abbi. 80s metal music blared from the low budget sound system, and I scanned the room looking for her face. The lights trained on the center stage, and as the first chords of some Motley Crue song began to fill the room, she shyly walked out onto the catwalk in just pasties and a pink G-string. The word NO filled every inch of my brain. She shouldn’t be up there with all these pathetic middle aged men leering at her. She was too beautiful, too innocent to be in all this depravity. I couldn’t stand there and watch her dance for these men. My feet seemed to move before my brain made the decision to take her away from this place. I marched down to the front of the stage and stared up at her. She looked beautiful, even surrounded by all the ugliness. Her eyes closed, she was an angel right there in front of me. And then she opened her eyes and looked down at me in shock. She stopped dancing and yelled over the music, “Kane? What are you doing here?” I could have explained that I felt guilty for being the reason she had to work at this shithole. I could have told her how wrong I’d been and how if she wanted a job dancing at my club, it was hers.

I didn’t, though. Instead, I reached up and wrapped my arms around her legs, throwing her over my shoulder before I turned to walk back up the aisle to the front door. A guy with a greasy comb-over and a cigar hanging out between his yellow teeth who sat at the door simply grinned at me as Abbi kicked and screamed for me to let her go. Something told me this wasn’t the first time he’d seen a woman carried out of there. “Kane, put me down! Why are you doing this?” she yelled as she pummeled my back with her fists. She could scream and punch all she wanted, but I wasn’t going to put her down until I got her safely to my car. I reached the Mustang and lowered her to her feet, realizing she still wore only pasties and a Gstring. As a carload of young guys spilled out into the parking lot, I quickly took off my shirt and held it out to her so she could at least cover herself. Abbi yanked the shirt out of my grip and threw it back in my face. “What is this?” “Put it on and get in the car.” “You can’t just drag me out of there like a goddamned caveman. Who the fuck do you think you are?” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and struggled against her fighting me to cover her with my shirt. “Abbi, I need you to put the shirt on and get into the car, please.” Planting her hands on my chest, she tried to push me away, but I was too big for her. Frustrated, she gave up, even as she continued bitching me out. “Fine, I’ll wear the shirt, but I’m not going in that car with you. You’re kidnapping me! This is kidnapping!” She looked adorable in my shirt angrily pointing her finger up at me, those beautiful blue eyes so full of fire. Buttoning the second and third buttons, I tried to calm her down. “I’m not kidnapping you. I just don’t want you to dance for those men. Please get in the car and I promise we can talk then.” I didn’t know what I said to make her stop fighting me, but she sighed and climbed into the car without any more hassle. Half expecting her to jump out as I drove back to the club, I slid my arm behind her seat and held my finger on the door lock, just in case. “Kane, you and I aren’t close enough for you to pull the knight in shining armor thing. I needed that job to make more money, so after we do whatever this is, I’m going back.” As I drove, I tried to make sense of what I’d done. She was right—this could technically be called kidnapping. Not that I hadn’t crossed over to the wrong side of the law before, sometimes for far less honorable reasons. If this is what it took to ensure Abbi’s safety, then kidnapping was fine with me. She didn’t see it the same way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her flash a look of pure rage at me as I drove. I stopped at a light and turned to face her, knowing I’d probably get more of that Abbi anger. “I’m not letting you go back, so even if you try, I’ll find you.” “Just who do you think you are? You didn’t hire me, and last I checked, my boss was Stefan, not that he’d ever be crazy enough to track me down and drag me out of a club all the way across town. I don’t need you to save me, Kane, so turn this car around and take me back.” “No.” Her eyes grew wide. “That’s it? No? What makes you think I’m not going to jump out of this car at the next light?” I pulled over and jammed the car into park. Turning my body in the driver’s seat, I hung my head in frustration. This woman was the most infuriating soul I’d ever encountered. “Abbi, you don’t belong at a place like that. I made a mistake not hiring you to dance at Club X. I’m trying to fix that mistake. That’s all this is.” She narrowed her eyes to slits and stared at me for a long moment before she spoke again. “Nobody does anything out of the goodness of their heart. I’ve spent enough time on this earth to know that. So what do you want? I have no money. In fact, the only thing I have to trade is what you insisted I cover up in this

enormous shirt of yours. So what do you want?” “Nothing but to see you dance at my club where you won’t be touched and treated like a piece of meat.” “I don’t believe you.” “Maybe that’s because you’re not used to people being nice to you.” “You mean men, not people. I see what this is. You think I’m some broken bird who needs a big, strong man to save her. You think because you saw a few bruises that I can’t handle myself. Well, you’re wrong.” I reached out and gently pressed my fingertips to the inside of her leg where the bruise had been the night I met her. “A man who cares for you wouldn’t hit you, Abbi.” Pushing my hand away, she squeezed her legs together tightly and turned her face from me. Quietly, she said, “I’m not stupid. I know that.” “Do you also know that not everyone wants something from you?” She looked at me with an expression of complete disbelief. “That’s a lie. Everyone wants something. Even you, Kane. I don’t know why you’re doing this. Maybe it is to make up for your mistake. Maybe it’s something else. But whatever it is, I know this. You want something. Everyone does.” “Right now, I want you to sit there until we get back to the club. Can you do that?” She studied my face, likely for the answer to the question of what I really wanted from her, and then sighed. “Fine. My purse and clothes are back at The Carousel. Can we go back and get them at least?” Sliding the car into gear, I began driving again toward my club. “I’ll make sure you get them.” “What is that on the radio?” she asked with a tone of disgust. “Led Zeppelin.” “Jesus, how old are you?” “Twenty-nine, not that my age has anything to do with knowing what good music is. How old are you?” “Twenty-two.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her slip her feet out of her shoes. She began to raise them to place them on the dash, and my hand shot out to stop her. “Keep your feet down. This is a ’69 Mustang, not some POS car.” Lowering her feet to the floor, she snorted in anger. “Fine. I won’t hurt your precious car, which is so quintessentially you, by the way.” “Really? Why?” “A ’69 Mustang Boss, one of the most badass cars there is? It fits you perfectly. Big, tough, and definitely you.” I pulled into a spot behind Club X and turned off the car. Easing my arm from behind her, I smiled. “That’s nice of you to say. I’ll take that as a compliment.” “Take it any way you want. I’m out of here.” And in a flash, she opened the door and ran from the car. Thankfully, my much longer legs made catching up to her easy, and by the time she hit the road that ran alongside the club, I had my arms around her in a hold much tighter than I’d normally use on a woman so much smaller than me. “Damnit, Abbi! I can’t trust you, can I?” She flailed in my hold but got nowhere. “Let me go!” I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “No. I didn’t want to do it this way, but you’ve made it necessary. Stop fighting or I’ll carry you in.” Pushing against me to get away, she growled, “Don’t you dare pick me up again!”

Her fingernails caught my cheek, and I reared back in pain as she scratched the full length of my jaw. “Fucking woman!” Scooping her up, I threw her over my shoulder and walked toward the back entrance of the club, all the while feeling her hit my back with her fists. I marched up the four floors to my apartment and sat her down hard on the bed, making sure to block the door so she couldn’t run away again. Abbi sat there with a hurt look on her face, but when she opened her mouth, I couldn’t help but be hurt myself. “Just in case you think you’re different from any of the men who hit me, they all said I made it necessary for them to act the way they did too.” Jesus, she had a way of being able to cut me to the quick. I couldn’t have this conversation right now, though. I walked to my closet, never taking my eyes off her, and grabbed a new shirt. As I dressed, I explained the best I could, even as I fought the defensiveness she so skillfully brought out in me. “There’s no point in running, Abbi. I’ll find you and just bring you back here. I’ll be back in a few hours, and hopefully by then you’ll be calmed down.” Her hurt expression morphed into one of shock at my words. “You can’t just keep me here. I promise I won’t go back to The Carousel Club. Gemma’s working tonight, so she’ll make sure I get home.” I walked to the door and shook my head. “No. You’re staying here. You’ve shown me you can’t be trusted to stay put. You’re free to eat all my food, drink all my liquor, and watch TV until I get back. Don’t bother screaming or yelling because you’re in my part of the club and no one will hear you. The door will be locked from the outside, and you’re on the fourth floor with no way to get to the street even if you squeeze out the bathroom window, so don’t try because you’ll hurt yourself.” “Kane, you can’t do this! You can’t keep me prisoner here,” she said with a sob in her voice as she walked over to stand in front of me. Looking up at me with her big blue eyes, she asked, “Why are you doing this to me?” Christ, I wanted to take her in my arms and never let her go when she looked at me like that. And I didn’t know why I was doing any of this since I knew being with her would bring nothing but bad, but I’d gone too far to turn back now. “I’ll be back later.” Before she began to cry, I got the hell out of there and locked the door from the outside. Turning to head back up to my post on the top floor, I heard her call my name, but it didn’t matter. I hadn’t lied. Nobody would hear her there. I found Samson waiting for me at the top of the front stairs where I’d left him. Barely ten o’clock, it was still early and I hadn’t missed anything important other than some problem between two of the dancers. Nothing new. “You have a few rooms to handle tonight, but I’m going to need you back here to stand in for me by one. I have something I need to take care of.” “Whatever you need, Kane. I’ll be here anyway.” “Thanks, Samson. Oh, by the way, we’ll have a new dancer soon. She’s good.” The news of an addition to the dancer ranks made him smile. “Good. For a moment there, I thought you might mean a new guy. I thought you were nicely telling me I was going to need a second job soon.” Samson was too important to the success of the fantasy part of the club, and I wasn’t a fool. Slapping him on the back, I assured him of his status at Club X. “No worries, man. I know this business, and you bring in a lot of customers with a lot of money. I’d call that job security. Plus, I can trust you to take care of my business when I need you to.” “Thanks, Kane. I appreciate that. I’ll be back by one.”

He left me standing there alone, and even though I had a full night of members’ fantasies to handle, my mind was one floor down with Abbi. I had no idea what I planned to do about her. All I knew was every fiber of my being wanted to protect her from all the men who’d hurt her.

Chapter Five

Abbi I DIDN’T KNOW HOW LONG I pounded on the steel door and yelled for Kane to let me out, but I finally gave up when my voice went hoarse. Who the hell did he think he was kidnapping me and keeping me hostage in his shitty apartment? Exhausted, I threw myself on his bed and let the tears finally fall. I cried for what Aaron had done to me. I cried for how fucked up my life was. I cried for being stuck in these tiny rooms of a man who was basically a stranger to me. I cried until there was nothing left in me. When there finally were no more tears, I wiped my face and looked around at my prison cell for the night. Kane owned part of Club X, and he lived in this cheap three room apartment? Why? Was he a lesser owner than Cassian and Stefan? Or maybe the club didn’t make much money. The white painted cinder block walls stood bare of any pictures of family or friends or even cheap wall art people hung up to give their homes some feeling of warmth and hominess. Looking down, I saw the wood floor looked old and beat up, like something heavy had been dragged across it, leaving deep scratches and dents, and hundreds of feet had trampled over it when the building was a factory. Kane’s metal twin bed with its single pillow sat in the corner against two walls, making me feel like this place was a prison even before he’d locked me in here. No knick-knacks sat on shelves. Only a single dresser stood on the wall opposite the bed, but even that had nothing sitting on top of it. My curiosity about Kane and all of this made me want to snoop, so I opened the top drawer of the dresser and looked inside. All I saw were the usual socks and men’s underwear, although the guy seemed to like black a lot, if this drawer was any indication. I opened the second drawer and found shirts neatly folded. The drawers below that one were very similar, with both of them filled with Kane’s long sleeved T-shirts I’d seen him in at work. Lifting one to my nose, I inhaled the fresh smell of laundry detergent. I headed toward the closet, hoping to find something to tell me more about the man who I now considered my jailer. Opening the door, I found just a few dress shirts like the one I wore and maybe a half dozen pairs of jeans and pants. It was the least cluttered closet I’d ever seen in my life. But on the floor sat a box, and crouching down, I saw it contained old records like the kind my parents used to love listening to. I thumbed through the albums and saw all those bands from the 60s and 70s the classic rock stations liked to play. Nothing about his clothes told me much of anything about Kane, other than he definitely wasn’t like his brother Cassian. There was a man who knew how to dress to impress. Always in expensive suits and silk ties, he looked powerful. Not that Kane didn’t look powerful. I doubted I’d ever forget the moment as I stood up on that stage and opened my eyes to see him staring up at me and then the next minute him throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me out of The Carousel Club. Thinking about Kane as some rescuer would only get me into something I didn’t need. Angry at how easily I could forgive him for basically ruining my only chance at that club, I slammed his closet door shut and stalked away toward the bathroom. He wasn’t a rescuer. He was just like every other man. Not to be trusted. I stared at the tiny bathroom window he’d mentioned as he listed all the rules of this prison and saw

he hadn’t lied. Squeezing through the space would be difficult. I could probably do it, but it would take some work. I stood on the toilet lid and looked out to the street below. Four floors would be a drop to my death without anything to hold on to, and I saw nothing to help me down the side of the building. I was trapped. For a moment, I stood there staring at that tiny window and wanted to cry. It was like a symbol for my life. I could see a way to escape, but I couldn’t get out. I felt like the punchline of some cruel joke. Would I never find the way out of my life? Was I destined to spend every day trapped in one way or another? I walked back out to the kitchen hoping I wouldn’t find the typical bachelor refrigerator filled with milk past its expiration date, some kind of rotted meat, and too many bottles of alcohol. If I was going to be stuck in his crappy apartment, I planned on eating what he had. Feeding me was the least he could do for keeping me here. To my surprise, I found food—real food like normal people ate. In fact, I found the kitchen stocked with everything needed to make practically any meal I’d want. There in that tiny apartment that looked more like a jail cell than a home he had a place that felt warm and welcoming. Not the décor, which consisted of the same boring white painted cinder block walls and old wood floor, but what he hid in the refrigerator and behind the cabinet doors. The image of Kane as someone who’d care enough for anyone to feed them lingered in my mind as I made myself a meal of spaghetti. What was this guy’s deal? He didn’t even try to hide his dislike for me in the interview, making up his mind about me not dancing at Club X before I even hit the top floor. Then weeks later, when he stopped down at the bar, he seemed to want to talk to me like we were friends, but why? “I’m good enough to bartend but not good enough to dance,” I muttered to myself as I washed my dirty dishes and placed them in the dish rack next to the sink to dry. That must have been it. He didn’t think I had the right stuff to dance at his precious club. But why then had he come to The Carousel and taken me from that place like he felt bad about not hiring me to dance for him? I couldn’t figure him out. He hated me from our first meeting and then one night he decided he needed to save me from the ugliness of some strip club across town where he didn’t think I deserved to be. Why did he care at all? The question rolled around in my head as I returned to snooping around my captor’s apartment. Did he have a girlfriend? I imagined he must. The man may have been strange, but he was stunning. Well over six foot with jet black hair and piercing blue eyes that seemed to stare right through you, he was the type of man women noticed. Add to that the tattoos on his arms, which gave him a badass look, and the fact that he said practically nothing, even when he was being nice, and I couldn’t imagine how women didn’t fall at his feet. If he did have a woman in his life, she didn’t spend a lot of time at his apartment. The place showed no sign of any feminine touch at all, and I found no clothes a woman would wear stored anywhere in his dresser or closet. So if he didn’t have a girlfriend, did he rescue me because he wanted me? No, that couldn’t be it. I’d worked at his club for weeks and only once had he even bothered to speak to me. Not that I gave him much reason to after pulling my nasty bitch routine on him. Jesus Christ! I must be suffering from Stockholm syndrome. I’m sitting here locked away in the guy’s apartment wondering if he wants me to be his girlfriend and actually thinking I like him! Like him would have been a stretch. I barely knew him, and what I knew I wasn’t too sure I appreciated. Sullen and brooding most of the time, he definitely had a domineering thing going on. Not

that I didn’t like a man taking charge, but driving across town to yank me off the stage at another club and carry me out of the building was definitely a bit much. Plopping myself down on his couch, I tried to figure out what all this was with Kane. The guy was a puzzle. Hated me from the minute he met me but rescued me. That didn’t make sense. He had seemed nice part of the time on the drive there. Well, when he wasn’t chasing me down and carrying me to this place to be kept prisoner for God knows how long. I didn’t want to think about this anymore. Turning on the TV, I sat watching an MMA wrestling show for about three minutes before I began desperately searching for the remote. I didn’t need to see people beating the fuck out of each other. My life had enough of that, thank you. Ten minutes later, I hadn’t found the remote to change the channel and some poor guy was lying on the floor bloody on the screen in front of me, so I just turned the TV off. Kane was part owner of the most exclusive clubs in town and in these shitty rooms he didn’t even have a remote for his fucking television. Did he just watch MMA shows whenever it was on? As I sat there in the silence of Kane’s apartment, the memory of the last time I lay in a bloody mess after Aaron beat the fuck out of me came back with a vengeance. I hadn’t thought of it since that night he found me at the grocery store. Sliding the wig off my head, I ran my fingers over my chopped hair, unable to stop the tears. I stood outside the store with my arms full of bags to wait for the cab to take me to Gemma’s house and felt someone brush up against my back. Immediately on edge, I had no way of getting away as he wrapped his hand around my neck and whispered, “I’ve been looking for you, Abbi.” I wanted to cry out, but I knew it was no use. With all the bravado I possessed, I turned my head and said quietly, “Let me go. I won’t let you do this to me.” His dark eyes narrowed and he tightened his grip on my throat, his fingers pressing hard into my skin. Low in my ear, he said, “You don’t get a say in what I do, Abbi. Now come with me and keep your mouth shut or the beating you get when we leave will be even worse. You know that I’ll do it.” I let him lead me to his car and jumped as I sat down and heard the automatic locks click shut. I was trapped there with Aaron, the man who’d promised to kill me if I ever left him. Covered in the bags after he’d thrown them on top of me, I thought about anything I could use to fend him off. Cans of soup and boxes of breakfast cereal wouldn’t stop him. As he talked about what he planned to do to me, I retraced my steps through the supermarket to remember if I’d grabbed anything that could help me. “You thought you’d just leave me, Abbi? You’ve had your fun, but now it’s time to come home. No more hanging out with Gemma, that fucking whore. The next time I see her I’ll show her what I think of her taking you away.” I knew better than to defend Gemma. If I did, both of us could get hurt. As it was, he might forget about hurting her if he could take his rage out on me enough. He continued to rant about my leaving him, and I continued to mentally walk through the store. I’d passed up buying too much junk food because Gemma warned me if I was going to dance, even at The Carousel Club, I needed to make sure I kept at my best weight, so I’d spent most of my shopping trip in the fresh fruit and vegetables section. But hitting Aaron with the asparagus I’d gotten a great deal on wasn’t going to help me much. Then I remembered the scissors Gemma had asked me to buy for her to cut food up. Fuck! What bag had the guy packed them in? Quietly, I slid my hand along the outside of the bags, feeling for the outline of the scissor package. If I could find it and get them out of the plastic before we got back to the apartment, I could use them. I wasn’t above stabbing someone to get away from having my skull

crushed in. Aaron stopped the car at a stoplight and turned to face me. I froze as he ran his hand through his blond hair and gritted his teeth in anger. “What are you doing over there?” “I was looking for an apple. I’m hungry.” “You can eat when we’re done,” he snapped. “Until then, you’ll listen to me tell you how stupid you were to leave me.” God, I needed to find those scissors! The image of me jamming them into his neck made listening to his threats and insults even possible, and I slowly went back to feeling for the scissors package. He jammed the car into park and jumped out of the car in a picnic area surrounded by trees, angrier than I’d ever seen him. As he stormed around to my side of the car, I grabbed wildly at the plastic grocery bags. Just as he opened my door, I wrapped my hand around a rectangular plastic package I knew contained what I needed and stuffed it down the back of my pants. “Time to go, Abbi. We have some things to work out, and since you brought all this food with you, I’m thinking after we’re done you can make me a nice meal to make up to me.” I held on to two bags and stepped out of the car to stand behind Aaron. As long as I could stay out of his line of sight, I might be able to get the scissors out of the package before he started hitting me. I followed him for a few steps knowing I couldn’t outrun him, my right hand clutching all the bags as my left hand worked to get the scissors out of my pants. I needed my right hand to open the plastic, though, but when I moved to tear at it, the bags made a rustling noise. He quickly turned around, and in an instant, all my efforts were exposed. The rage in his eyes terrified me, and any thoughts of fighting back rushed away as he yanked me into the bushes. I fell onto the ground, scattering the groceries everywhere around me when they flew out of my hand as I held tight to the scissors package, my last hope. I stared up at him as his anger exploded out of him. “Planning on cutting me, Abbi? Let’s see how it feels.” He grabbed the package from my grip and ripped open the plastic with one tear. Scrambling to my feet, I made it two steps toward the clearing when he grabbed my hair and sent me flying back down to the ground. In a flash, he was holding me down, his body covering mine so I couldn’t move. He pressed the point of the scissors to my neck and ran it down to my shoulder, and I was sure at any moment he’d stab me. “I got a better idea. Just in case you were thinking anyone else would want you, I’m going to make sure they don’t.” “Aaron, please don’t kill me. Please!” He laughed the way he always did when he was going to hurt me. “I’m not going to kill you, Abbi. I’m just going to make sure no one else wants you.” I cowered in fear, sure any second I’d feel the point of the scissors blades cutting into my face, but he didn’t go for that. Instead, he slowly opened the scissors and winked. With his knee pressed into my chest and his left hand holding my wrists, he began hacking into my hair, scraping my scalp with the points as he carved into my favorite part of me. “Aaron, no! Don’t cut my hair!” My pleas did nothing to stop him. He just continued hacking away at my long blond hair as I struggled to get free, twisting my head left and right to try to end his attack. Finally, he stopped and looked down at me. Spitting into my face, he said, “There. Now see if you can get anyone to fuck you looking like that.” I lay there on the ground surrounded by chunks of my beautiful hair and unable to even cry. I’d

done everything right, and still he’d gotten to me. He stood over me laughing for a few moments and then stormed away, jumping into his car and leaving me there. I guess I should have been thankful he didn’t beat me, but what he’d done was worse. I’d lose my job bartending because no one would want to see someone so hideous serving them drinks. I’d have no way to make enough money to even try to start a new life. Slowly, I got to my knees and stood up. He’d left me with my cell phone, so at least I could call Gemma for a ride and not have to be humiliated by having to walk or take a cab. I knew by the horror in her eyes when she found me that Aaron had succeeded in what he wanted to do. Now nobody would want me. I stood in front of Kane’s bathroom mirror and stared at my reflection. My hair, the part of me I’d always loved the most, lay flat against my head in uneven layers. Gone were the long blond waves that had framed my face, and in their place was a mess perfectly suited to who I really was. I touched the ragged ends and looked away, saddened by the reality of me. A mess of a woman abused by one man and now imprisoned by another.

Chapter Six

Kane GEMMA STOPPED AT MY POST on her way out for the night, her expression full of worry. “Do you know where Abbi is? I’ve tried to call her half a dozen times tonight and she never answers. Did you see her?” I looked down at my monitors to avoid her stare. “She’s fine. Don’t worry about her.” “Fine? Don’t worry? Did something happen at The Carousel Club?” “She’s safe and sound. No need to worry.” Unwilling to take my curt answers for what they were worth, she tapped on the desk in front of me. “Kane, where is she safe and sound? You left here after I told you where she was and she’s not answering her phone. I want to know what’s going on.” I took a deep breath and looked up at her. “I brought her back here. She’s in my apartment.” “You brought her back? As in took her out of The Carousel Club and brought her here? She was okay with that?” I returned her stare with one of my own. “Have a good night, Gemma.” A smile slowly spread across her lips. “You like her. That’s why you were so difficult from the moment you met her, isn’t it?” “Goodnight, Gemma.” She caught my arm in her hold and squeezed gently, getting my attention. “I need you to promise me something. Don’t hurt her. I’m not talking about physical hurt. She’s tough. She’s learned to handle that kind of pain. But she can’t take you breaking her heart, Kane.” “I just brought her back here to make sure she didn’t get hurt at that club. She didn’t belong there. That was it.” “I’ve seen the way you are with the women here, Kane. You’re distant and cold at times. As a boss, it’s not hard to deal with. It’s actually okay since you leave us alone. That iciness outside of work can hurt, though. I need you to remember that with her. She’s sweet, and men want that. You want to protect her. I get it. But if you can’t take care of her heart, don’t do this knight in shining armor thing. She can stay with me as long as she needs to.” “Gemma…” “Just promise me, please. I can’t leave here unless you promise you’re going to take care of her.” “Okay. I promise I’ll take care of her.” “I’m trusting you, Kane. You’ve never been a bad man in my mind. Don’t do anything to change that opinion.” Gemma left me standing there feeling confused. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wanted to protect Abbi. All that would do is end up with us making a mess of our lives. I couldn’t let her go back to that club, though. At the very least, I had to make right what I’d done when I didn’t hire her to dance for me. I OPENED THE DOOR TO my apartment slowly and cautiously looked in, just in case Abbi lay in wait for me, still furious about my leaving her hours earlier. I heard nothing and stepped in to look around but didn’t see any sign of her. Spying her lying on the bed in the next room, I walked in and saw she still wore my

shirt but her long blond hair was gone. In its place was short hair that looked like it had been chopped off. What had happened? My hand hovered over her head to touch her roughly cut hair, but instead I just pulled the sheet up to cover her naked legs. She moaned softly at the touch of the fabric against her skin and curled her arms under her before going back to sleep. I’d prepared myself for more of her anger, but I hadn’t been ready to see her like this—so vulnerable and innocent there in my shirt and lying in my bed. Quietly, I stripped down until all I wore were my boxer briefs. Leaving my clothes in a pile in the corner, I grabbed an old blanket from the closet and spread it out on the floor next to the bed. Abbi mumbled something in her sleep, and I stood silently watching her delicate mouth move, my body suddenly very aware of her nearly naked body just a few feet away. What was I doing? All the bells had gone off in my head from the moment I met her, but still there I stood watching her innocently sleep in my bed. Why hadn’t I just done the same thing I’d done for years? My cock ached as I stared down at her. I’d known that first night she’d make me want things I couldn’t have. Things I shouldn’t have. But there I was standing over her, my hands itching to touch her hair and her skin just to know what they felt like as she lay next to me. She looked so small there in my twin bed, the sheet tucked up near her chin and her legs pulled up under her. How could anyone want to hurt someone so small and helpless? I lowered myself to the floor and lay back against the hard wood beneath me. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to focus on anything but Abbi lying just two feet away. I ran through the reports I had to complete and send to Olivia by the end of the week, but the numbers got lost among thoughts of Abbi’s soft perfume filling the air around me. It smelled like baby powder and some kind of summertime flower mixed together. As the minutes ticked by, everything about her preoccupied my mind until all I wanted to do was crawl into bed next to her. What was I thinking bringing her back here? These rooms kept me away from the rest of the world, and now here she was in my bed wearing my shirt and a G-string. Fuck. This was a mistake. How could I have thought I could have her so close and still stay away? I should have just left her at The Carousel Club, but I couldn’t. Just seeing her on that stage with those men leering up at her made me sick to my stomach. Just like I’d felt that first night when I knew someone had hurt her. The rage had filled every part of me, making me want to beat the hell out of the man who’d put his hands on her body. I knew then I couldn’t be around her without wanting to protect her. She sighed in her sleep, and an ache in the pit of my stomach pinched at me. I wanted to touch her, to hold her in my arms and listen to her gentle sighs for the rest of my life. That even having me in her life would be the biggest mistake she could make hung over my head like a truth so ingrained there was no way to deny it. I didn’t want to think that way, though. I wanted to think she could be mine and I could be hers, and we’d protect each other from the world outside these rooms. I knew differently, though. The man who’d hid away in these rooms—in this club—would bring nothing but bad to her life. My demons made that certain. They’d rear their ugly heads and show me for the man I really was. A monster. Violent. Ruled by my rage. Maybe this time could be different. I had been able to love once, a long time ago. Didn’t that mean I could be the kind of man I needed to be to love again? But that had been before I let my demons take hold and control me. I closed my eyes and tried to remember a time in my life when I wasn’t this person. Had I ever been

anything but filled with anger? From the minute I could understand her words, my mother had told me the story of what I was. Why she’d named me Kane. Then later when I first showed signs of my demons, she pulled me close and urged them on, welcoming them when she should have been chasing them away. My mother held my hand and smiled down at me as she led me from the school principal’s office. The anger of a third grader had horrified him, but she simply used the same old reason to excuse my behavior. “Boys will be boys, Mr. Truesdale. It’s just his nature.” He’d shaken his head in disagreement, disturbed by my hitting a classmate until he bled and my mother’s easy dismissal of it, and given me three days detention. Almost as if the punishment was a badge of honor, my mother simply smiled and took my hand to lead me out to our car. I knew there would be no reprimand when we got home. “Kane, what did that boy do to deserve what you did to him?” she asked in the same pleased tone she always used when I got in trouble for hurting others. I looked down at my hands in my lap and saw his blood under my fingernails. “He said I didn’t have a dad so I’m a bastard.” Never turning to face me, she kept her eyes on the road and asked, “Did you do as I said to?” “Yes, mama. I said nothing. I just hit him until they pulled me off him.” “No words, right? There’s no point in speaking, Kane. People don’t listen to words. They listen to fists.” “Yes, mama.” We drove home saying nothing else, but she took my hand again as we walked up to our house and led me to the kitchen. “Sit down and I’ll get you a bowl of ice cream.” Still in her black and white waitress uniform, she served me three large scoops of my favorite treat, cherry vanilla ice cream, in my favorite blue plastic bowl. I’d done what she’d told me to do, and now she rewarded me. Placing it in front of me, she kissed me on the forehead and smiled, her happiness going all the way to her blue eyes. “That’s my big boy. Principal Truesdale doesn’t understand you. Do you know what he thinks you should do when someone says cruel things to you, Kane?” With the sweet taste of cherry vanilla on my tongue, I swallowed a spoonful of ice cream and nodded. “He says I’m bigger than everyone else, so I have to be careful I don’t hurt them.” “No!” she screamed, scaring me. “He’s wrong, Kane. Your being bigger has nothing to do with how you should treat people. When someone hurts you, you hurt them back. Do you understand me?” “Yes, mama.” “When I was carrying you, I knew who you were. I chose your name the same night your father left me after I told him about you. Kane, like from the Bible’s Cain and Abel. I knew you’d get what you deserved in this world, but you’d have to fight for it.” I listened to her tell the story of Cain and Abel and how I was like the son of Adam who killed his brother with his own hands. Not a day had gone by since I’d been old enough to understand her words when she didn’t tell me that story. I was Cain. My name may have been spelled a different way, but I was him. Cain. The first murderer on Earth. “When someone hurts you, they deserve to be hurt, Kane. You did nothing wrong today. You understand that, right?” Scraping the last of my treat from the sides of the bowl, I smiled and nodded. “Yes, mama. I did just

like you tell me to all the time.” She kissed me on the forehead again and leaned back in her seat. Tired from a long day at the restaurant she worked at waiting tables for tips, she smoothed her brown hair back from her face and closed her eyes. “You’re going to have people tell you that what you do is wrong, Kane. As you get older and bigger, they’re going to say you shouldn’t be who you are. They’re going to want to change you. They won’t be able to, though.” “Okay, mama.” She opened her eyes and cupped my cheeks in her palms. “This is who you are, Kane. Don’t let them tell you it’s bad. Your demons are the only protection you have in this world because no one else will take care of you.” “You will, won’t you, mama?” “I won’t always be here for you, baby. When I’m gone, I want to know I’ve done all I could to make sure you’re ready because the world is a harsh place where no one will care about you more than you care about yourself. Remember that always.” “Even my father?” I asked, hoping the answer would be different this time. “Especially your father. He’s what you need to watch out for in this life. Look at us. While he and his precious wife and sons live in that big house, we live here in this tiny shack. Why? You’re as much his son as those two are, but you have my name instead of his because he’s too ashamed to claim you so we get to live like this.” “I like our house, mama.” She pulled me into her arms and held me close so the smell of other people’s food she wore on her clothes filled my nose. “We deserve better, Kane, but the only way you get better in this life is if you take it, by force, if necessary. Remember that.” I’d never forgotten that, even if I’d wanted more than anything else to believe it wasn’t true. Years later, just a few months before she died and after years of living with her hate, she used one of the last times we’d be together to make sure her lesson had been learned. My mother sat in her favorite red chair in our living room after working a twelve hour shift at the diner while I laced up my boots to go out for the night. Her blue eyes looked dimmed, as if the light in them was gradually going dark. Years of working long hours and not taking care of herself had taken their toll, but I wondered if it was more the anger and hatred she kept alive inside her that was slowly killing her. “I know you met with him last week. Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked in a voice full of bitterness. I tugged my laces, pulling them tightly away from my boot. “Because I knew it would bother you.” “What did he say? What excuse did he have for waiting until you’re seventeen years old to finally want to see you?” “No excuse. He just wanted to see how I was.” “I bet he thought he could buy your love, didn’t he?” I looked up to see her eagerly waiting for my answer. Shaking my head, I told her the truth. “He didn’t seem to think anything. Just wanted to meet me.” “Don’t believe what he says, Kane. His words are all lies. Remember how we’ve had to live all these years while he lived in that big house with the sons he loved.” Her words registered in my mind, but I felt no anger at the thought of Cassian and Stefan March at that moment. After years of her trying to school me in hating them and me being the willing student, I

felt nothing for my father or his sons. He called them my brothers, but they weren’t my brothers. They were his sons. I remained what I’d always been. My mother’s son. Kane. “When I’m gone, he’ll want to know you more. He’ll want you to suddenly be his son. Don’t forget all the birthdays when it was just the two of us. Don’t forget every Christmas with not even one gift from him under the tree.” I wanted to tell her those were the things I wanted to forget. That even though I tried, I couldn’t hate him and his family like she wanted me to. I said nothing, though. “Do you remember that school counselor when you were in fifth grade who told you that you had to fight against your demons? Do you remember what I said to him that day in his office with him and the principal sitting there passing judgment on you like you’d done something wrong in acting in your nature?” “Yes, mom.” “What did I say, Kane?” I swallowed hard and repeated the words she’d said in my defense as those two men glared down at me like I was some animal to be hated and feared. “His demons are what he is. That he doesn’t act like you think he should doesn’t mean who he is needs to be fought against.” “Exactly. I worry when I’m gone you’ll forget who you are because your father will swoop in and show you a world where someone like you wouldn’t fit in if he didn’t change.” My demons were as much a part of me as my black hair and blue eyes, so her fear that I’d become a different person without them was just useless worry. No matter how much I wanted to shed them, they were who I was. I finished tying my boots and stood from the couch to walk to where she sat. Leaning down, I kissed her goodbye like I did every time I went out. “I’ll never be anyone but your son, so don’t worry.” My words sounded dismissive, but I’d meant them more as a simple truth. Those demons would never leave me, and no matter what happened, all that she’d taught me would stay with me forever. Abbi stirred in the bed, and I looked up to see her gazing down at me. Those big blue eyes that made her look so innocent had fear in them. She should be frightened. Even now, my demons made me want to take her in my arms and bury myself in her. Bringing her back here was a mistake.

Chapter Seven

Abbi I LAY ON MY SIDE and stared down into his almost hypnotic blue eyes. “What do you want, Kane? You must want something or you wouldn’t have brought me here.” He said nothing but shook his head, even as he never took his gaze from my face. “Do you do this with a lot of women? I still think this is kidnapping, by the way.” The corners of his mouth hitched up slightly, but still he said nothing. It was like having a staring match with a cat. Kane merely looked up at me from his place on the floor, which confused me even more. This was his home, yet he chose to sleep on the floor? Not much of a captor. That was a good thing. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me. “Please talk to me. You have no idea how strange it is to be in some man’s bed with him silently staring up at you when you ask him question after question.” He opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. Pressing his lips together, as if to stop himself from saying something, he finally smiled and said, “I don’t say much. I think you noticed that the first time we met.” As he spoke, what I noticed was how perfect his mouth looked. Lips just full enough to be sensual, they made me think of what they’d feel like if he kissed me. “You seemed to say a lot earlier when we were in the car.” “Uh huh.” The mention of our time together after leaving The Carousel Club made me remember I hadn’t returned to get my things there. “I didn’t get my purse and clothes! They’ll be gone by now. The last of my money was in my purse.” He said nothing as I began to sob but pointed at a chair near the door where my purse and clothes sat. “You got my things?” Another nod but nothing more. I couldn’t figure out what he was up to. He’d said he didn’t want anything from me, but who acted like this without wanting something? I was basically his prisoner here in this tiny apartment he called home, yet he was the one sleeping on the floor. I looked back at him, this time noticing his gorgeous body above the blanket that only covered his legs. Tattoos covered his muscular chest and arms, and a single line of words crossed his lower abs just above his hipbones. As I studied it, I realized the words read DO NO HARM. What an odd thing to tattoo there. “Do you want to come up here instead of sleeping on the floor? That can’t be comfortable.” “No. I’m fine here.” Something made me want to comfort him, even though he’d given me no real indication anything was wrong. It just made me feel selfish to let him sleep down there on the hard floor alone. I slid out from underneath the sheet covering me and lay down next to him, pulling the blanket over me. In the dim light of his bedroom, I saw the confusion in his eyes. His skin felt heated to the touch as I curled up against his body, resting my head against his shoulder, and everything about him felt hard against me.

Looking up at him, I asked quietly, “Is this okay or do you want me to go back up there?” He said nothing, but shook his head. Unsure if that meant no it wasn’t okay or no he didn’t want me to go back up into the bed, I stayed right there next to him, loving the feeling of safety he gave me. “Kane, are you going to make me stay as a bartender or will you let me dance?” I felt his chest expand beneath my head. He held his breath for a moment, and then let the air out slowly. I waited for him to answer, to say something, but he remained silent next to me. “It’s just that…I really need the money. That’s why I went to The Carousel Club. I’m staying with Gemma, but I can’t expect to stay there forever. I need money to get my own place. If you let me dance, then I’d be able to afford an apartment.” Stopping for a moment, I gave him a chance to speak, but he said nothing. He wasn’t going to let me dance. I knew it. Why couldn’t he have just left me at The Carousel Club? I’d been sure that he’d want something from me, but it seemed like he had no interest in that either. If meeting my basic needs wasn’t a good enough reason, then maybe a more sentimental excuse could work. “I want to make enough money to help my mom too. She’s sick and lives on what the government gives her, but it’s not enough. If I had more money, I could give her some so she’d have a better life.” I looked up at him, afraid he’d fallen asleep, but his eyes were open and watching me. Did he want me to come right out and say I’d do anything he wanted to dance at his club? Was that it? Sitting up, I gathered all my courage and quietly said, “Kane, I’ll do whatever you want to dance here.” His blue eyes widened for just a moment at my offer, and I waited for him to tell me what he expected in return for hiring me. Instead, he simply stared, making me even more uneasy than I’d been before. “I mean it, Kane. Whatever you want, I’ll do.” Still not a word from him. He wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? At least I didn’t get the sense that he was a violent man, even with his size. Closing my eyes, I began to unbutton his shirt and finally blurted out the truth. “I mean, if sleeping with you is what you require for me to dance, just tell me. I’ll do it.” As the seconds ticked by, he didn’t move. I looked down to see him staring up at me with hurt in his eyes. What had I done to make that happen? I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t figure this man out. So much bigger than me, he made me feel protected instead of frightened, like I was used to with men. He said next to nothing, and now after I’d offered to sleep with him, thinking that’s what he wanted since he’d dragged me back to this place and held me here, he looked hurt by my offer. What the fuck was with this guy? Reaching out, he pulled me down next to him and wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders, silently holding me as the purest feeling of security washed over me. Unsure of what was happening, I whispered, “I’m sorry if that offended you. I didn’t mean to. I just assumed since you brought me here…” “I brought you here because you deserve better than The Carousel Club.” “Not everybody can get better, Kane.” He tightened his hold around me, pressing my body to his. “You can.” We lay there for a long time saying nothing until he broke the silence with a question. “What happened to your hair, Abbi?” I hid my face in his muscular chest, embarrassed by how I knew I looked. My long blond hair, the part of me I loved the most, was gone, and all that was left in its place was a hacked up mess. I’d forgotten that, but now I cringed at how terrible I must have looked to him. I struggled to find the words to explain what Aaron had done to me, but then I felt the light touch of Kane’s fingers slowly stroking my hair. Closing my eyes, I let the gentleness of his caress into me.

“My ex-boyfriend did this,” I explained, ashamed that I’d let Aaron hurt me like that. “He was angry that I left, and he held me down and cut off my hair. I bought a wig so I’d look like I used to since I knew no one would want me to work for them looking like this.” In a low voice that made me think he was angry, he asked, “Why do you let men treat you like that?” Fuck. I began to think I liked it better when Kane didn’t talk since when he finally said something, I had no idea how to answer. I didn’t know why my boyfriends hit or why I let them. I just knew men always hurt. “I told you. Some people can’t get better.” His fingers slid down to the ends of my hair and across my neck over and over, like he was trying to smooth away the anger that had caused me to look like this. It made me feel safe and loved. I closed my eyes, but somewhere in the back of my mind I waited for it to stop as all good things did in my life. He’d stop and then he’d become hurtful and angry with me. I’d do something that upset him, and he’d hit me or choke me. As I waited for him to get to that point, I felt him press his lips to the top of my head in a soft kiss. Then he whispered, “People will continue to hurt you as long as you let them. Don’t let them.” I pulled away and leaned on my elbow. Staring down into his eyes, I asked, “Are you going to hurt me? You basically kidnapped me and brought me here. And look at you. You’re over twice my size and much stronger than me.” “I don’t hit women,” he bit out angrily. His anger unnerved me, and I quickly moved to change the conversation. “So no girlfriend? I expect if you had one she wouldn’t like you keeping me here.” “No girlfriend,” he said quietly in his raspy voice that now sounded unbelievably sexy. “Why not? You’re a good looking guy, and I bet lots of women here at the club would love to get their hands on you.” “Haven’t found anyone I want, I guess.” I couldn’t tell if that was a lie or the truth. All I knew was he didn’t seem interested in me. I could understand that. I wasn’t blind. I knew what he saw. All the better. I didn’t need a boyfriend now anyway, no matter how much I liked the feel of his arms around me. Since we were going to be just friends, I pushed further with my questions. Even though he’d basically kidnapped me, as he lay there next to me, I had a feeling he wasn’t all that bad. As bizarre as that seemed. I might as well know the guy a little better. “Did it hurt to get those piercings?” “Which ones?” Pointing at his nipples, each pierced with a silver barbell, I said, “Those. Do you have more? I don’t see any others.” “No, they didn’t hurt. I got my lip pierced a long time ago. That hurt a little.” “So now you only have the nipple ones?” I asked, more curious about piercings than I thought I could be. He gave me a sly grin. “No. I have one other piercing.” I turned my head and scanned his body for any others. “I don’t see it. Where is it?” After a long pause, he said in a low voice, “My cock.” He said that word in a voice that made an ache form deep inside me. Never before in my life had I wanted to see something as much as I wanted to see his cock piercing at that moment. A rush of heat flooded my cheeks, and I looked away, inadvertently focusing on his crotch. Quickly, I looked back at his face and blurted out, “Can I see?”

What was I doing? I didn’t know, but the words were out so there was no putting that genie back in the bottle. Like when I offered to sleep with him, his eyes grew big for just a moment and then he smiled. “If you want.” In for a penny, in for a pound, as my grandmother always said. Nodding, I mumbled, “I’ve never seen that before. I’m just curious.” For the first time since I’d met him that night of my interview, Kane looked completely sexy and not the least bit scary. Licking his lips, he stared up at me. “Okay.” His hands slid his boxer briefs down to reveal his pierced cock. Long and thick, he wasn’t even hard and I knew I’d never met any man so big. The head was pierced twice, and two silver barbells sat on each side. I couldn’t take my eyes off them or his cock, but I squeaked out, “Did that hurt?” “A little.” “Why did you get that pierced?” “Long story. Some women don’t like it, though, so I can understand if you don’t.” I couldn’t help let my mouth hang open slightly as the thought of that gorgeous cock fucking me settled into my brain. Licking my lips to moisten them, I said, “I don’t know why. It’s hot.” Holy fuck! I’d just said to him that I thought his pierced cock looked hot! I wasn’t lying, though. I suddenly wanted more than anything to know how it felt when he was sliding it inside me. It was insane, but I couldn’t help it. Thankfully, he slid his underwear up again before I did anything I’d regret later. A few seconds more and my brain might have thought it was a good idea for my hand to touch his piercing. God, I was a mess. Barely out of a relationship with Aaron and here I was ogling Kane’s cock. Quietly, Kane said, “Abbi, I didn’t hire you to dance for me because I wasn’t sure you could handle it.” I turned to face him and shook my head. “Why?” “Because I knew someone was hitting you. You have to be tougher to dance for men, even here. If I had left you at The Carousel, you would have gotten hurt.” “So that’s why you took me out of there?” “Yeah. I didn’t want to see you hurt.” “Why? You barely know me. Why would you care if I got hurt?” “I don’t know. I just know that from the moment I met you I wanted to protect you.” “So you kidnapped me and brought me here. I guess that’s technically protecting me, but it’s more like holding me hostage.” His blue eyes grew softer as he looked up at me and said, “I couldn’t think of another way. I’m sorry.” The way he said those words made my breath catch in my chest. I couldn’t remember the last time a man had apologized for doing anything to me. “Well, of all the things I’ve had done to me, I guess this isn’t the worst. I mean, you even let me sleep in your bed while you took the floor.” I stopped for a moment and then looked away. “And you don’t seem even interested in sex with me, so…” “I don’t force women to sleep with me to dance here.” The tone of his voice told me I’d hurt his feelings again. Jesus, the guy was just trying to help me and I’d offended him twice already. I turned to face him and saw that hurt settle into his eyes. Reaching out, I touched his hand. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Kane. I just don’t know what to say here. I’m not used to people doing nice things for me without expecting something in return. I keep thinking you must want something from me.” I lowered

my head and tugged on the sprigs of hair near my nape. “I get why you wouldn’t want to sleep with me, though. I mean, I know what I look like now.” “My not sleeping with you has nothing to do with how gorgeous you are. It’s just not something either one of us wants me to pursue. Trust me.” The only thing I really heard was that he thought I was gorgeous. No man had ever told me I was gorgeous. Pretty. Hot. Sexy. But never gorgeous. But if I was that wonderful to look at, why didn’t he want me? I stared down at this strange man who’d shown me his piercing but wanted nothing to do with sex with me. Who had come to The Carousel Club and had taken me out of that place to protect me. And who lay there gazing up at me like I was some kind of angel or something, even as I sat there next to him with the proof of Aaron’s rage all over me. Kane lifted his arm and wrapped it around me. “Come here. Time for us to get some sleep.” I snuggled up next to him, loving the hardness of his body next to mine that made me feel safe and secure. With my head in the space between his shoulder and his neck, I closed my eyes and breathed in the clean scent of soap on his skin. No fancy cologne or body spray. Just soap. Then I felt his fingers gently slide through my hair, and for the first time since Aaron had hacked it all off, I felt beautiful. Gorgeous. “Thank you, Kane.” He remained silent for a long time and then whispered in his raspy voice, “For what?” “For making me feel beautiful again.” Squeezing me tighter to him, he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “You’re welcome, Abbi.” I tenderly ran my fingertip down his jaw and over the red scratch I’d given him earlier. “I’m sorry I scratched you. I shouldn’t have done that.” He said nothing but kissed the top of my head again, like a sign he’d forgiven me. I lay there on the floor with him in that surreal situation that strangely felt so right, unable to sleep as everything I’d learned about Kane danced in my mind. The man who’d frowned from the moment I’d met him held me in his arms, protecting me even though he barely knew me. I didn’t know what would happen when we woke up, but for the first time in my life, I was in the arms of a man who made me feel safe and beautiful. A twinge of sadness settled into my heart at the thought of all this going away once the sun came up. I’d never believed anything could be worse than a man’s fists hitting me, but as I listened to Kane’s breathing above me, I was sure him being that silent man he’d usually been with me would be more devastating. To know that here, in these tiny rooms he called home, he cared for me yet in front of others I’d be just another Club X employee made me sadder than any beating I’d ever gotten.

Chapter Eight

Kane I LAY WITH ABBI IN my arms as she drifted off to sleep, my body yearning for more than just cuddling on the floor of my crappy apartment. Every fiber of my being wanted to make love to her, but that was a mistake neither one of us could afford. I should have never gone to The Carousel Club. Fuck, I should have never let myself want her after that first time we met. Two fucked up people didn’t make a good couple. All we’d make was a mess of each other, something neither one of us needed. But now, as I played with the ends of her soft hair and enjoyed the feel of her warm breath gently drifting across my chest as she slept next to me, I wished more than anything in this world that I could be the kind of man she needed. Then in a split second, my mind switched gears from wanting to make her mine to wanting to kill every single man who’d ever hurt her. The idea of someone holding her down as he hacked away at her hair made my fists close into angry balls until my fingernails dug into my palms. I imagined her crying, helpless as he punished her and she feared for her very life. I wanted to find him and make him suffer like he’d made Abbi suffer. This couldn’t happen. I knew this, and still there I was with her in my arms as my brain wrestled with the need to beat the fuck out of the guy who hurt her. She didn’t need someone like me in her life. It was already fucked up enough for two lifetimes. Yet with every moment that passed, she felt more right in my arms than anyone ever had. I closed my eyes and tried to push away the truth that never went away. I’d only end up hurting her.

* “KANE, YOU UP?” I opened my eyes to Abbi sitting up next to me and smiling. “Yeah. What time is it?” Shaking her head, she lifted my arm to look at my watch. “A little after ten.” “Okay. Guess it’s time to get up,” I said as I stretched the sleep from my limbs. Abbi’s eyes opened wide and I followed her gaze to where my morning hard-on had poked out from under the sheet. A blush covered her cheeks and she stammered, “Where…um…can I take a shower?” Scrubbing the night from my face, I struggled to think of anything but rolling her on her back and taking her right there. Looking away toward the bathroom, I said, “Uh, in through there. Feel free.” Nearly jumping up from her place next to me, she trotted off toward the shower as I watched her gorgeous ass as she walked away. I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself fucking Abbi was the worst idea I’d had in a long time. Unfortunately, my cock didn’t agree with me, growing harder than it usually did most mornings. Even as I ran through every reason why I shouldn’t even think about wanting her, somewhere in my mind a little voice murmured that she was right there in the next room, naked and wet and… Fuck! What was wrong with me?

I lay back down and covered my eyes with my forearm, needing to get my head back to where it should have been. Abbi would only get hurt if I acted on the ideas marching through my mind. I knew this. Now I just had to tell myself that over and over again until every cell in my body didn’t want her more than anything else in the world. Ten minutes later, Abbi stood over me pushing my arm with her toes. I looked up at her standing there in just a towel looking fresh and clean and entirely too sexy. “What’s up?” “I don’t have any clothes. Remember? All I was wearing when you threw me over your shoulder at The Carousel Club was a G-string, pasties, and my shoes. I can’t go around wearing your shirt, and the tshirt and shorts I wore there aren’t exactly good for daytime,” she said with a chuckle. “Hmmm…” I had no clothes a woman could wear, but I had an idea. Rolling over to hide my still raging hard on, I stood and walked over to the kitchen table to grab my phone. After a few rings, Cash picked up. “Hey, Kane. What’s up?” “I need to speak to Olivia, Cash. Is she there?” My half-brother remained silent for a moment and then quietly in a skeptical voice said, “Yeah. Here she is.” Thankfully, he didn’t ask why I’d need to speak to his fiancée before work started. Olivia and I had become closer after that Ciara Danson business, but no guy wanted men calling their girlfriends about borrowing some of her clothes. “Kane? What’s up?” she asked with more than a little curiosity in her voice. “I need you to let me have some of your clothes.” “What?” “I have a friend here who needs clothes and I don’t have any for her. You’re the only female I know well enough to ask.” “Oh, okay,” she said sweetly. “What do you need?” I looked over at Abbi standing across the room from me in my towel and tried to imagine her in anything Olivia wore to the club. “How about something casual that you wouldn’t wear to work?” “How about one of my sundresses? Would that be okay?” “Great. Thanks, Olivia. Can you bring it with you this morning?” “Sure. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Do you want me to bring it up to your office?” “No, that’s okay. I’ll come down for it. Thanks again.” I took the phone from my ear, but I heard Olivia say, “Kane, wait!” Pressing it next to my head, I asked, “What?” “Is everything okay? Does your friend need anything else?” “No, everything’s fine. Just the dress. Thanks.” “Okay, I’ll be there in a little while. Just tell her to hang on for a few more minutes.” I placed the phone back on the table and looked over at Abbi. “Olivia’s bringing you something to wear. She usually gets to work by eleven, so it’ll just be a few minutes.” “Olivia, Cash’s girlfriend?” “Yeah.” “That’s nice of her. Why is she doing that?” I’d forgotten how little Abbi knew of kindness other than Gemma. “Because I asked her. Olivia’s nice like that.” A strange silence settled in between us, but I didn’t know what to say, so I escaped into the bathroom,

leaving Abbi there. I didn’t need to be around her when she was only wearing a towel. And then halfway through my shower, she poked her head into the bathroom. “Kane, can I eat that cake in the fridge?” I looked out through the clear glass shower door and saw her standing there staring at me as she waited for my answer. There was no way she couldn’t see every inch of me. Christ, she was making it next to impossible not to want her. “Yeah. No. Wait for me and I’ll make you breakfast. I have some eggs, I think.” “Okay.” She didn’t say anything else but stood there staring at me for a few moments more before she left. Damnit, she wasn’t going to make this easy. She had no idea how much she shouldn’t want me. OLIVIA’S CLOTHES FIT ABBI AWKWARDLY, but I couldn’t help but notice how cute she looked in her pink sundress, even though it covered more of her than it should as it hit near her ankles. Abbi fussed with the fabric while I made her breakfast, and even as she ate her scrambled eggs, she couldn’t stop touching it. I finished my eggs and asked, “Are all your clothes at Gemma’s?” She dropped her gaze to her nearly empty plate and shook her head. “I don’t have any clothes.” “None?” I asked, confused since I’d seen her show up for work behind the bar dressed every night for weeks. “No. I’ve been wearing Gemma’s until I have enough money to buy some.” “Haven’t you gotten paid yet?” She looked up at me and nodded. “I told you. I need money to pay for more important things. I’m trying to save up for an apartment, and I helped my mom a little with the money I’ve made so far.” I didn’t know why but the idea of her not having clothes bothered me. Taking her plate, I put it in the sink with mine and said, “Then we have somewhere to go this morning. Get ready.” “For what?” “Shopping.” Turning around, I saw the surprised look on her face. Or maybe it was confusion. Whichever it was, it quickly changed as she shook her head. “No. I don’t want you to buy me anything.” “Whether you want me to or not, I’m going to, so it would probably be better if you’re there. If not, I might get the wrong sizes.” My attempt at humor didn’t work, and she frowned. “I don’t want to owe anyone anything. I’ve done that before, and it never got me anywhere good.” “Then accept whatever I buy as my apology for basically kidnapping you last night. Then neither of us will owe the other person anything.” Abbi considered my idea for a minute and smiled. “Okay, it’s a deal. I don’t wear anything expensive, so you’re getting off easy for kidnapping and holding me hostage.” Her comment about being held hostage bothered me. It was stupid, but it did. I forced a smile at her joking and led her to my car for our shopping trip, her comment nagging at my gut. “KANE, WOULD YOU BE WILLING to take me to my apartment?” I turned to see Abbi staring at me with those big blue eyes that made me want to do anything she asked. “Yeah, I guess.” “It’s just that my boy—I mean, ex-boyfriend might be there and…”

Looking away, I thought about what I wanted to do to this ex-boyfriend of hers who’d done all that shit to her. Beating the fuck out of him would be the first thing. Then I’d figure out what to do from there. “Sure. You can’t be getting clothes, so why do you need to go there?” I stopped at a red light and looked over to see Abbi’s head hung and her tugging on the ends of her hair. “My mother gave me a ceramic bell and I want to get it back. I don’t think it was broken when he—” She stopped talking and then quietly said, “I didn’t remember to take it when I left.” Jesus, I wanted to fucking crush this guy’s skull. Not only had he done everything he could to hurt her physically, but he’d taken everything else from her. “Just point me in the right direction.” Abbi told me how to get to her place, and I pulled up in front of an apartment house in the middle of a block filled with rundown houses and empty, torn up lawns. She didn’t seem to want to get out of the car, instead staring down at her hands as they lay in her lap, so I opened my door and walked around to her side to show her she wasn’t alone. She looked up at me with the purest expression of fear I’d ever seen. What else had this fucker done to her? “It’s okay. I’m here. I doubt your ex could do anything to me.” “I guess. I’m just wondering if this was a bad idea.” I held my hand out to take hers. “C’mon. Show me where you used to live.” She took my hand and we walked up to the front door. Her hand shook as she put the key in the lock, and as she pushed the door open, I felt her squeeze my fingers tightly. Whoever this guy was, he terrified her. We entered the apartment and found nothing. The place had been emptied out. She walked into the middle of the room and slowly turned as she looked for that bell, but there was nothing left. He’d made sure to hurt her to the last. “Oh, my God,” she sobbed as she collapsed to the floor. “It’s gone. He took it. He took everything.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat there so tiny, her body heaving from her crying. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their fist. That feeling I’d had the minute I met her rushed through me again, and I crouched down next to her to put my arms around her shoulders. “Abbi, come with me.” She looked up at me, so helpless, and dried her eyes. “I have nothing left, Kane. All I have are the clothes you bought me today. Everything I had all those months I lived here is gone.” “Come with me. We can go back to the club and get you set up with the costume designer. You’re going to need something to dance in.” “Really? You’re going to let me dance for you?” I nodded and forced a smile, even though the idea of Abbi dancing made my chest tighten. “Yeah, so let’s go.” She stood and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Oh, Kane, thank you! I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’ll be the best dancer you have.” All Abbi could talk about on the way back to the club was how much she looked forward to showing how she could dance, but with every minute that passed I regretted my offer. Club X may have been a hundred times better than that shithole I found her dancing in, but I still didn’t like the idea of her dancing, even for my club’s members. I LEFT ABBI WITH THE costume designer for the dancers and headed back to my room to clear my head. Something about this woman made me think things I shouldn’t, and I had to try to push them out of my mind before we went further into something neither of us needed. The sight of my shirt she’d worn last night

laid out on my bed made all those ideas about how much I wanted her rush back, but I needed to fight the urge to let myself want what I shouldn’t have. By five o’clock I’d talked myself into believing I could have her dance for me and not need to be with her. That the idea of other men watching her dance, even fully clothed, wouldn’t drive me out of my mind with jealousy. Then she walked into my rooms and reality crashed down on me, forcing all those ideas out of my mind. There, right in front of me, she stood in the costume members would see her in. A white dress that accentuated every sensual inch of her body and was meant to make her look sexy and innocent both at the same time. The costume designer Janie knew her stuff, and one look at Abbi made me want to grab my shirt again to cover her. It wasn’t pasties and a G-string this time, but the effect was the same. “What do you think? Isn’t it gorgeous? Janie said she’d been waiting a long time to make a costume like this. Do you like it?” Abbi twirled around to show me the back of the dress, and my cock stiffened at the sight of her perfect ass filling out the costume in a way meant to make men go out of their minds with desire. She spun around again to face me, those blue eyes looking up at me filled with hope. “You don’t like it? She said it would be perfect.” “It is,” I said quietly. “It looks great.” “Are you angry at me? You look just like you did the day you interviewed me. You haven’t changed your mind, have you? I really need this job, Kane.” I shook my head slowly. “No, I haven’t changed my mind. If you want to be a dancer, the job’s yours.” Abbi smiled, lighting up my dingy rooms with her genuine happiness at my gesture. “I have something to ask you. I hope you say yes to that too.” “What’s that?” “Gemma has a new boyfriend, and I don’t want to be in the way at her house. You know how it is at the beginning. Nobody wants a third wheel around. Would you be okay with me staying here until I get the money for my own place? From what Gemma said, I should be able to make enough in a week or so since I’m only looking for a one bedroom or even a studio.” She wanted to stay with me there in my tiny rooms I kept to hide away from the world. Unable to say no, I mumbled, “Sure.” Again, she threw her arms around me and hugged me close. “Thank you! I’ll sleep on the floor so you don’t have to give up your bed anymore. It wasn’t too bad last night, so don’t worry.” For the first time since we’d gotten up that morning, I held her to me, loving how she felt against my body. When she looked up at me, I loved seeing the happiness in her face. Pressing my lips to her forehead, I kissed her softly, closing my eyes to enjoy the warmth of having her next to me. As I let myself get lost in the quiet joy she gave me, I felt her lips gently touch mine. Opening my eyes, I looked down to see her mouth open slightly in a kiss. My body came alive, reacting to the softness of her lips as they caressed mine, and my cock grew hard against her. Just a small kiss and everything I feared I’d want raged inside me. She was so close, so tender, so willing… And so not someone I should be kissing. Pulling away, I pressed a smile onto the lips she’d just thrilled with a kiss and tried to calm myself. “I left your clothes on the table there, so feel free to hang them in the closet since you’ll be staying.” She looked confused by my reaction, but after a moment she nodded and gave me one of her sweet smiles. “Okay. Thank you. I promise it won’t be long. I’ll make sure to work as many shifts as you’ll let me so I won’t be intruding for too many days.”

Abbi moved toward the table to gather her new clothes, leaving me there wanting so much more than just a mere kiss and knowing even desiring her was wrong. As she made herself at home, I wondered how the hell I was going to deny what my body already craved and my mind was quickly becoming obsessed with. How would I spend night after night with her right there next to me and not give in to what would undoubtedly end up hurting us both?

Chapter Nine

Kane I WATCHED AS ABBI AND the other dancers readied themselves in their dressing area to perform their first dances of the night, most of them calm and almost bored, except for her. She and Gemma stood next to one another laughing and smiling about something, and only Abbi seemed truly eager to enter the hallway to go her first room. Of all the costumes they wore, Abbi’s alone seemed sexy to me now. Even the dancers who wore just pasties were nothing next to her. My gut knotted up thinking about her dancing for some of our members even as she seemed thrilled to begin her first night of work. All my people filed into their break room, and walking in, my very presence there made everyone go silent. All eyes focused on me, as they did every night, but all I could see were Abbi’s blue eyes staring at me from the corner of the room. “We’ve got some new dancers here tonight, so you veterans keep an eye out for them. If they have any questions or run into any problems, help them out. I’ll be out there like always keeping an eye on things, so those of you who are new I want you to know I won’t let you get hurt. Anyone have any questions?” One of my dancers who’d been with me for nearly three years raised her hand. I nodded in her direction, and with a silly grin Simone, the dark haired beauty with a body all our members loved asked, “When did you get so nice, Kane? I’m just wondering since last week you didn’t speak to any of us for two days straight and the best we could get from you was a grunt anytime we asked a question.” A few of the dancers who’d been with me almost as long as Simone laughed and repeated her question. “Simone, just for that, I’m going to make sure you get stuck in every freaky room,” I said with a smile. Batting her eyelashes at me, she said in a syrupy voice, “Oh, Kane. You always say the nicest things.” “Just have a good time tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Remember if you run into any problems, I’m never far away.” The dancers filed out one by one until the only people left in the break room with me were Gemma and Abbi. Walking toward me, Gemma winked at me, whispering, “You did the right thing. Thank you, Kane.” Abbi stopped in front of me and looked up with fear in her eyes. “I hope I don’t mess up and make you regret this.” “Don’t worry about that. You’ll be great. I knew you would from the first time I saw you dance.” Reaching out, she gently squeezed my forearm right above my wrist, sending a rush of heat over my skin. “Thank you. It’s nice to know you’re watching over us making sure we’re okay.” “You’ll do fine, Abbi.” She flashed me a sweet smile and headed out to where Samson had their first assignments as the knot in my stomach tightened its hold on me. Every jealous need to protect her screamed not to let her dance, but I couldn’t stop her now. As long as I watched and made sure she was okay, I could handle this. Her first room was right down the hall from where I stood every night. Just a few yards away from me a middle aged man with a penchant for young, beautiful blondes sat on a chair he’d dragged close to the window separating him from where she’d dance. I saw in his face how eager he was tonight and instincts

normally reserved for the dancers who worked inside the rooms kicked in to high gear. I wanted to grab him by the collar and throw him out of that room before he saw her. I’d met this member before and knew what he used the rooms for. I watched as the wall lifted and Abbi appeared before him. A pale light washed over her, and the combination of that and her white dress made her look like a goddess. As I watched her, I wanted her. I knew he did too. Soft music flooded the room, and she began to dance just like she did that first night I sat in a room just like that one and fell in love with how her body moved. Her eyes closed, she looked gentle and innocent and with each moment that passed I got lost in her all over again. A sudden movement jarred me out of my fantasies, and I saw the man yank his cock out of his pants and begin stroking it. I’d seen this on my monitors thousands of times. Never once had it bothered me before. Now I could barely hold myself back from charging into his room and beating the fuck out of him to show him jerking off as Abbi danced wasn’t okay. Her first assignment and already I was barely able to contain my jealousy. Fuck. This was a mistake. But I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the monitor, even as the guy went to town on his dick. Abbi never noticed anything, entirely consumed by her desire to dance. She was pure and sweet, and the man watching her fed on that as he jerked off, no doubt fantasizing about fucking someone just like her. For fifteen minutes he slid his hand up and down his small cock as he licked his lips at the sight of her so close to him, separated by just a pane of glass. I’d watched people fuck nearly every night for years, and never once had any of it seemed wrong or dirty. This was what my part of Club X was. Sex. Lust. Fantasy. But now as he masturbated to Abbi’s dancing, all I could think was how much I hated watching him do it. He came with a rush and a long groan, covering the front of his pants and his hand in cum and sickening me, but as I moved my gaze to see if she’d noticed, I saw her eyes still closed and her dancing as if the simple movement of her body to the music made her happier than she’d ever been in her life. The man’s time in his fantasy room ended, and he cleaned himself up before leaving without a glance more in Abbi’s direction, his fantasy fulfilled. I watched her finish her dance and saw her open her eyes just as he closed the door behind him. For a moment, she looked around the room but then she left, never knowing anything had happened other than she’d danced. I caught Samson as he walked past me on his way toward the dancers’ break room. “The room you had Abbi in needs to be cleaned before the next person scheduled.” Looking down at his schedule, he nodded. “Okay. I have a fantasy scheduled in there at the top of the hour, so I’ll get the crew in there. They’re down on the third floor cleaning up after a couple got a little wild with Simone.” “Wild? She okay?” “Yeah, nothing she can’t handle. You know her. She likes to get her freak on. They had a thing with flavored oils and some toys, I think. She’s fine. Just needs a shower. The place was a little greasy after them. Thank God they only had a short time. A few hours and we’d have to hose the place down, you know?” Samson smiled at his joke, and I pretended not to suddenly hate what I did every night. “This is why they pay us the big bucks, right?” “You know it, Kane. How’s your new dancer doing on her first night? That whole innocent Lolita thing is a huge favorite for a lot of our members. Great recruiting on that. She’s going to have them lining up around the block to get a room with her.” Samson’s all-too-accurate description of exactly the vibe Abbi gave off made me hate my life even

more. “Yeah, she’s doing fine. I’ll keep an eye on her for a while.” “Good idea. She’s close to Gemma, though, so I bet she’s tough.” As I tried to pretend I didn’t care about Abbi any more than I did for the other dancers, Samson got to work getting the room cleaned and handling some security issue down at the front door. Normally, I took care of the bouncers. Not tonight, though. Tonight I planned on staying put right where I was in front of my monitors. I fought the urge to go back to the break room to see Abbi and waited for her to appear in Room 12 for her second assignment that night. Just before midnight, I saw a man and woman stumble into the room and collapse onto the couch. Obviously drunk, they had their hands all over each other, so they’d likely fuck right there as Abbi danced. At least it wouldn’t be some sad old guy jerking off to her. The music began playing, a far more sexual piece than in her first room, and I watched as the screen lifted to show Abbi standing there with one of the male dancers. I hadn’t paid attention to the list Samson gave me at the beginning of the night because I’d been too preoccupied with Abbi. Quickly, I found it next to where I stood and scanned the schedule to see this assignment was exactly what I hadn’t wanted her doing on her first night. Reservation: male and female dancers—basic package with erotic dancing Who the fuck was I kidding? I didn’t want her doing that any night. At least these members only reserved the basic level so they wouldn’t want anything but dancing. Behind Abbi, Rhett stood with his hands on her shoulders as she leaned back against him. Nearly six foot, he had short brown hair and brown eyes, but what members loved about him was his body. The man looked like he lived in the gym, and while I’d always appreciated how much in demand he was, especially for bachelorette parties, at that moment I hated him, his look, his fucking abs that made me money whenever he danced, and every inch of muscle that now pressed up against Abbi. Eyes closed, she slid her hands up to circle his neck, and I watched as his hands slowly crept over her breasts down to her hips. He nuzzled her neck and looked out to flash a predatory smile at the couple in the room who’d stopped mauling one another to watch with rapt attention the scene in front of them. Rhett knew how to sell sex without actually having it, but that didn’t make the scene in front of me any easier to watch. Turning Abbi around, he began to do something I’d seen him perform hundreds of times before. Sliding his hands under her dress, he slowly lifted it to the tops of her thighs and pulled her into his body. For the first time, Abbi opened her eyes and looked up at him, clearly surprised at what he’d done. She searched his face for reassurance, no doubt frightened at her first time dancing with Rhett. Why the fuck had Samson put her in there with him on her first night? Always the professional, Rhett gave her a smile and winked to let her know everything would be okay. Her blue eyes still showed how unsure she was, but I doubted the couple watching them noticed any of what I was seeing. All they likely saw was two dancers giving them exactly what they’d asked for as Rhett knelt before her and lifted her leg onto his shoulder to simulate him going down on her. If Abbi’s first assignment had made me want to march into the room and beat the hell out of the guy, this one made me want to grab her and take her back to my rooms and never let her dance again. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the night watching her like this. Engrossed in the torment of seeing her dance with Rhett, I didn’t notice anyone standing in front of me until I saw out of the corner of my eye a hand tap on the counter. Looking up, I saw Cash standing there. “Hey, what are you doing up here?” “Nice to see you too. I work here. I used to know one of the other owners, a guy named Kane who

used to come to our meetings.” “What’s up, Cash?” “I just figured I’d come up and see how things are with you these days. You don’t seem to come downstairs anymore.” Glancing down at the monitor, I saw Abbi slowly lower herself to her knees in front of Rhett and looked away before the urge to yank her out of there took over. “I’ve been pretty busy. You know how it is.” My vague answers might have put Stefan off, but Cash was different. He was like me, so while he might want to respect my desire to keep whatever I was hiding private, his need to make sure I was okay took precedence. “I do. I’ve been involved in the whole wedding thing, so I understand being busy. I’m just wondering if you’re okay up here.” “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked as my gaze trailed back to the monitor with Abbi and Rhett. “I don’t know. Because you’re acting strange?” I folded my arms across my chest and sat back on the barstool behind me. “Nothing strange here. Just me and my people doing our thing like every other night the club is open.” “I guess I’m just used to you coming to the meetings. It’s strange when Stefan shows up and you don’t.” “What meeting are you talking about?” “The one we had scheduled for this afternoon. I know it wasn’t a weekly meeting, but it would have been nice to have you there.” Had I known about this meeting? When the hell was it? I drew a blank and shook my head. “Sorry, Cash. I didn’t remember. What did you have to tell us?” He began to explain about the councilman wanting more perks at the club, but I couldn’t help looking at the room Abbi was dancing for. The couple had moved on from watching her and Rhett to fucking. Obviously, the dancing had done its job, which didn’t make me feel any better about it. The fact that Abbi and Rhett’s erotic dance had been convincing enough foreplay made me more jealous than I thought I possibly could be. “Kane, did you hear a word I said?” I looked up to see Cash staring at me with frustration written all over his face. I was used to seeing that look when he talked to Stefan, but not me. Quickly, I tried to guess what he’d said, but I merely stammered out a few words before admitting I hadn’t been listening. “Sorry, Cash. I’m a little distracted tonight.” “What’s going on? Who are you watching?” “Nobody. Just want to make sure everything’s okay in the rooms.” “Are you expecting a problem?” “No. Just like to keep on top of things.” Whatever I thought I looked like, Cash saw right through my act. “What’s going on with you, Kane? Is there something I should know?” Below on the monitors I saw Rhett’s lips slide down Abbi’s neck and I couldn’t help but stare. Cash came around the desk and followed my gaze to see what I was looking at. Quietly, he asked, “Is that the girl you didn’t think could dance?” I nodded as I continued to watch her lean back in pretend ecstasy as Rhett slid his hand over her breast. “Yeah. That’s her.” Cash stood there watching for a few more moments. “Wasn’t she bartending for Stefan?”

“Yeah.” “So other than the fact that you’ve never been that wrong about a dancer, what’s going on here?” I tore my eyes away from her and shrugged. “Nothing.” “Kane, this is Cash you’re talking to. Remember? We’re brothers and partners here, and I like to think we’re friends.” Letting out a sigh, I hung my head so I didn’t have to face him when I said the words. “I’m doing my best here not to fuck everything up, Cash.” “Fuck everything up? What are you talking about?” “She was dancing over at The Carousel Club and I brought her back here to dance for us. I can’t explain why I gave a damn about her, but I did. From the first time I laid eyes on her. I never do this with any of my dancers. You know that. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t let her dance at that shithole.” Cash smiled and looked over at the monitor before looking back at me. “I don’t think that’s the problem, Kane. You can’t take your eyes off her, and if you clench your fists any tighter, your fingers will be coming out the tops of your hands.” I realized he was right and slowly opened my hands from the tight fists they’d been in since Abbi had begun dancing with Rhett. Stretching my fingers, I felt an ache travel up through both my palms. “I thought I could handle it, but this is only her second room and I’m fighting myself from marching down there and carrying her back to my apartment. I’m acting like a jackass. She’s no more mine than anyone else’s, even if she is staying with me.” “Ah, so that’s what borrowing Olivia’s clothes was about.” “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to fuck up the club. I think she has a boyfriend or something anyway. Some asshole who beats the hell out of her.” My hands balled into fists again, and I slowly eased my fingers out of my palms. “And she’s staying with you? Sounds like that boyfriend is an ex-boyfriend.” “She doesn’t need me in her life. It’s already fucked up enough.” Cash patted me on the shoulder and walked toward the stairs. “I think she could do a hell of a lot worse than you, Kane. Don’t sell yourself short.” “What did you want to talk to me about anyway?” I asked as I watched Abbi and Rhett disappear behind the screen. “Mason wanting more extras here. He’s becoming more demanding by the day.” “Well, just let me know if you need anything from my area. We aim to serve here.” Smiling, he nodded. “That we do. See you later, and don’t forget what I said. You’re part owner of a business that makes millions each year. Remember that.” “What happened to the idea of not fraternizing with the people who work for us?” My brother gave me a sly smile. “I’m pretty sure that went out the window when Olivia and I got together, don’t you think? Anyway, you’re not like Stefan used to be. I know we won’t end up at some lawyer’s office because of this.” He stopped for a moment and then said, “She must be someone pretty special for you to take a shining to her, Kane.” Cash left me standing there at my usual post, but no matter what he said, I couldn’t believe Abbi would be better off with me in her life. Whatever I was now because of Club X, my past hadn’t changed and neither had I. And she didn’t deserve to have to deal with that.

Chapter Ten

Abbi I RETURNED TO KANE’S APARTMENT feeling like I was walking on air. Never before in my life had I experienced anything like how I felt when I danced for the first time. I’d performed as a cheerleader, but that didn’t compare to the exhilaration of standing behind that glass and knowing the men and even some of the women watching me dance were there just to see me. For the first time in my life, I was the center of attention for those few minutes each time. I, Abbi Linde, was the reason they were in those rooms. Kane had already gotten back before I arrived. Seated in his tiny living room, he looked angry about something. Or maybe that’s how he usually looked and I was just finding that out. Still excited from my first night of work, I twirled around in my costume and wished he wasn’t so miserable. I’d expected him to say something about what he saw of my performing, but he seemed not to care. I stopped in front of him and smiled. “Did you see any of my dancing tonight? Did I do okay?” Looking up at me, he shot me a look that made his crystal blue eyes look so cold. “You did fine from what I saw. I got a little busy for a while there.” Unable to keep my feet still, I twirled around again. “I bet you think it’s silly that I’m so happy about tonight, but it really did mean a lot to me. The members seemed to like me too. I made a bunch of tips, and that’s with all my clothes on. I wonder what I’d make if I was like Shana and could do the kind of dancing she does.” He stood from his seat and walked past me without saying a word as I thought about how much Shana made dancing nude. If I could pull in nearly two hundred dollars dancing fully dressed behind a window, she must have been making three or four times as much in the rooms right there with the members. I watched him head into the bathroom and heard the water run for a shower, and I had to fight the urge to walk in on him like I had the day before. I wanted to see him like that again. In truth, I wanted him to want me like I wanted him. So far, the way he thought of me seemed to range from being overprotective to being entirely disinterested. There didn’t seem to be any in-between with Kane. I would have taken the overprotective him over whoever this man tonight was, though. This Kane didn’t even seem to know I was in the same room with him. Closing my eyes, I relived my first night of dancing, reenacting each move and feeling I experienced as the wall raised and I peeked out to see people waiting to watch me move my body for them. I’d hoped the one person I wanted to watch had seen he’d made the right decision, but it didn’t seem like he’d seen much of my dancing at all. I couldn’t figure him out. He took me from that strip club to protect me and held me all night long in his arms. Then he took me shopping for all new clothes and even went to my old apartment with me, all the while knowing Aaron might be there. I’d thought after all that and after he’d made me so happy by saying I could dance for him that he’d be even nicer to me, but since the moment he saw me in my costume he’d been cool toward me, as if he didn’t like me as much anymore. Maybe that was it. Maybe because I was dancing at his club his interest in me had disappeared. The problem was mine hadn’t. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted him. As I thought

about the man who’d showed me his piercings and then made no move on me at all, a disappointing realization came to me. What if he never had any interest in me and I was just some charity case for him? Kane came out of the bathroom wrapped in a white towel that hung low on his hips, and I stopped my dancing, unable to keep myself from staring. For the first time, I really looked at his body. Tattoos covered his arms from his wrists to his shoulders, black and grey images of animals, skulls, and crosses that created sleeves on both arms. The intricate design across his chest contrasted with the simple tattoo across his lower abdomen. Stretched from one hipbone to the other, DO NO HARM was written in heavy black letters that appeared so ominous just above what I knew was hidden beneath that terry cloth towel. As if his tattoos and piercings weren’t sexy enough, his body rippled with muscles. Every inch of him appeared hard and unyielding, from his bulging shoulders and biceps to his six-pack cut abs, but I knew better. When he held me in his arms, that hardness faded away to reveal a gentleness he kept hidden beneath his tough exterior. He seemed oblivious to my staring at him as he stood drying his cropped hair with a towel. Throwing it over one of the kitchen chairs, he closed his eyes and cracked his neck twice, all the while saying nothing to me. I couldn’t stand the silence, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Did you have a nice shower?” Practically dismissing me, he nodded and mumbled, “Yeah, it was fine.” God, the man didn’t even like me enough to try to have a conversation. There I was standing in his home still in my dancer’s costume from the sexiest club in town while he stood in just a towel, and it was like we were strangers waiting for a bus. I snuck a look at that towel and saw his cock had as much interest in me as his mouth and brain did in talking to me. “Since you didn’t get to see me dance much tonight, can I dance for you now?” His eyes widened like they always did when I said something that interested him, and his pupils seemed to take up his entire eyes, blocking out the gorgeous blue color. He said nothing but stared at me with a look that conveyed a longing for something. Was that something me? I closed my eyes to shut out my doubts and began to dance, rolling my hips slowly as I moved toward him. With my arms raised, I turned away from him and leaned into his body, loving the feel of his muscular chest against my back as I slid my hands up toward his neck. The damp towel brushed up against my legs as I swayed back and forth to the music in my head, and I sensed his cock harden with every time I touched him. Each moment that passed made me want him more, but his silence told me my feelings weren’t returned. Rolling my hips in bigger circles, I pressed my body to him, praying he’d do something to show me this made him happy. I should have stopped, but I couldn’t. I wanted him. I wanted him to want me. “Take the wig off,” he said in a deep voice meant to let me know that wasn’t a request. I stopped my dancing and turned to face him, unprepared for what I’d see. The impassive man who so often seemed disinterested had disappeared, and in his place stood one with wild eyes full of need. “I said take it off, Abbi.” The stern look in his eyes commanded me as much as his voice, so I lowered my hands to my head and slipped off my blond wig to once again reveal what made me ugly. Holding it in my hand, I hung my head, unable to hide my unhappiness and insecurities, and whispered, “There. It’s off.” “Why do you want to tempt me like this?” he groaned above me. “I can’t now. Now I’m just me, messed up me,” I said quietly as I tugged on the ragged ends of my

hair. He cupped his hand to my cheek and lifted my face so I had no choice but to see him. His face strained, as if he was in pain, and he closed his eyes, wincing. “I’ve tried so hard to fight my desires, Abbi. All we’re going to do is hurt each other if we do this.” “You would never hurt me, Kane.” His eyes opened and in them all I saw was that pain I’d seen in his expression. “Everyone I get close to gets hurt. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you.” “I can’t believe you’d hurt me. Not the man who drove all the way across town to protect me.” Those beautiful blue eyes that so often seemed so cold flashed the purest emotion I’d ever seen. “Every demon I have inside me wants you. They scream your name day and night, and I’ve been fighting them because I’m terrified what will happen if I give in. Leave here and never look back. Take all the money I have in my wallet and run, Abbi. Leave me alone with them and be happy.” Cradling his face, I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t want to leave. I’m not afraid of bad things. Every man I’ve ever been with had bad in them, but none of them cared for me like you do. I don’t believe you’re a bad man.” Kane leaned down and gently kissed me. Pressing his forehead to mine, he said in a voice filled with anguish, “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I swear it’s the last thing I want to do.” I didn’t know what demons he had in him, but I wasn’t afraid of them. The only thing I was afraid of was losing him. I didn’t know what it was about him, whether it was how he walked into that club and rescued me from that awful place or how he held me in his arms all night long after, but I didn’t want to think of my life without him, demons or no demons. “Kane, you never hurt me.” He kissed me deeply and whispered against my lips, “I will, and for that, I’m sorry.” His hands slid down to cup my ass, and he lifted me so my legs easily wrapped around his waist. Clinging to his neck, I felt his muscles thick against my calves as I pressed my heels to his powerful lower back to bring him closer to me. His towel still hung across his hips, but I wanted what was underneath that towel. Kane kissed me hard as he pushed me against the wall, like he couldn’t hold back how much he wanted me anymore. His tongue snaked into my mouth, searching for mine, and I met his need with my own, softly mewing my desire for him. Pulling away, he looked down at me. “I want to be inside you so fucking bad it hurts.” With my heel, I pushed down on his towel, and it fell to the floor. Licking my lips, I stared into those gorgeous eyes and said, “Please…no more waiting.” He lifted me higher and covered my mouth with his in a kiss that took my breath away. I felt the head of his cock press against me, and then he stopped, making me want him even more. “I don’t wear anything because of my piercings. Are you…?” I nodded and kissed him. “Yes. Don’t worry. Please don’t stop.” Kane’s hands cupped my ass and squeezed as he slid into me, those piercings grazing my sensitive skin and making my nerve endings come alive. The feeling was the most exquisite I’d ever experienced. “I tried to stay away, Abbi,” he groaned as he thrust the last few inches hard into me. “I did. Ever since that first night, I tried.” His cock stretched me until I couldn’t imagine being able to take any more of him, and then as soon as my body adjusted to his sweet invasion, he left me, making me feel emptier than I’d ever been before. I clung to him, crawling up his body as mine begged for more of him. Pulling away from his kiss, I whispered, “Don’t stay away, please, Kane. Don’t leave me alone.”

He slammed back into me with a deep grunt and moaned, “Never. I can’t do it. I don’t want to stay away.” His cock slid up into me until we were joined completely, my body needing what only he could give me. Each stroke into my pussy sent a string of sensation from his piercings caressing against my flesh. And with each time he pushed deep into me, I was sure I’d come, but then his cock would retreat from my body, leaving me wanting at that point just before he gave me any release. With each moment, he edged me closer to my orgasm, so close and then he’d back off just enough to keep me needing him. Never before had I craved a man like I craved him. I watched his face as he fucked me, those blue eyes so intent as they stared into mine. This man who so often had seemed to not even notice me now made me feel like he looked down into my soul with his gaze. His hands moved up to cradle my face, and he whispered in his raspy voice, “Don’t let go, no matter what I do.” “I won’t. I promise.” Clinging to his neck, I pressed my heels into his back to hang on as he stroked in and out of me. Grunting, he fucked me hard and slow, taking my body over. The icy façade and aloofness he nearly always wore disappeared, replaced by a level of passion no one had ever shown me. “Abbi,” he whispered hoarsely in my ear. “Tell me to go away. Tell me you never want to see me again.” “No! Don’t stop,” I cried as my body willingly surrendered to his like it never had with anyone else before. He looked at me and rasped, “I’ll only end up hurting you. Get away from me before I do.” I cradled his face and pressed my forehead to his as his thrusts slowed. The pain in his eyes tore at my heart. Why did he keep saying he would hurt me? “Don’t make me go, Kane. Whatever you’re afraid of, I’m not. I want you. Don’t you want me?” He stopped and smiled so sweetly, like he only did when we were alone. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Since the moment I met you, I haven’t been able to think of anything else. I’ve been alone for so long that I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Alone in these rooms hidden away I couldn’t hurt anyone.” “I’m tougher than I look, I promise. But do you want me or is this because I’m just here with you?” Closing his eyes, he said softly, “You’re all I can think of, Abbi. I was ready to be alone for the rest of my life, but now I can’t think of living another day without you.” I caressed his face and said, “Look at me, Kane. I’m not afraid.” His eyelids slowly lifted and he shook his head. “I hurt everyone I touch. I have these demons inside me that make do things I shouldn’t. I’m just afraid they’ll make me hurt you someday.” “No, I can’t believe that. You wouldn’t do that.” He slid out of me and lifted me up in his arms to carry me to the bedroom. Placing me on the bed, he gently caressed the ragged ends of my hair and kissed me so sweetly, I couldn’t imagine him ever hurting me. We made love no less intense than we’d started just minutes before, but now something had changed in him. In his powerful hands, I felt worshipped and cared for. The hardness that surrounded him faded away, and as he wrapped his arms around me, I sensed his loneliness that had been masquerading as coldness begin to disappear. His body invaded mine and took over, but I wasn’t afraid. With each thrust into me, I felt more than just the physical ecstasy he gave me. In his care, I felt secure and loved.

When I came, I gave myself over to him believing he’d protect and take care of me. As we lay there in each other’s arms, I placed my head on his chest and whispered, “I trust you, Kane. Of all the people in this world, I believe in you and that you won’t hurt me.” His fingers played with the ends of my hair and he kissed me on the top of the head. Hugging me tighter, he whispered to me in those little rooms he hid away in, “I won’t ever hurt you on purpose, Abbi. I swear.”

Chapter Eleven

Kane I HELD ABBI CLOSE TO me as my heartbeat returned to normal, never wanting to let her go. I’d fought what she brought out in me from the first time I laid eyes on her, but now I couldn’t imagine ever being without her. Her head on my chest, she sighed as I squeezed her to me and we lay there in silence while she traced her finger over my skin. After a long while, she said quietly, “Tell me why you wanted to help me.” I closed my eyes and remembered the moment I knew I couldn’t just forget her. “Have you ever just known something deep inside—like a truth you can’t deny? That’s how I felt when I first saw you in Cash’s office. You were beautiful and I knew someone had hurt you, and even though we’d just met, I wanted to find that person and make them pay for what they’d done. I’d only felt that once before.” “Tell me about her. I want to know everything about you. Who you loved. Why you loved her. How she lost you.” Taking a deep breath, I told her what I’d never told another soul. “Her name was Holly. She was sixteen and I was seventeen. I lived to make her happy, and she loved me more than I’d ever been loved before in my life. I needed her. I wanted her. I couldn’t live without her.” “Why did you love her?” I thought about the moment I realized I loved Holly. That night she lay in my arms just like Abbi did now. “She made me happy like I’d never felt before.” Abbi looked up at me and smiled. “Back to not saying much?” I kissed the top of her head and chuckled. “I loved her because for the first time in my life, I felt at home with someone. I’d never felt that before Holly.” “Never?” “Never. All I’d known before was hate. My mother hated my father for not leaving his wife and sons. It’s why she named me Kane. My life before Holly consisted of her hate for him and by extension, for me.” “I can’t believe your mother hated you,” she whispered almost reverently, as if the truth of my life needed to be kept secret. “She named me Kane after the Bible’s Cain and Abel. She wanted me to kill Cash, the child she believed kept my father from us.” “Really kill him?” “I don’t know. I just know from the moment I could understand, she told me the story of my being named after the son who killed his brother.” “But you didn’t. You and Cash seem close even.” “We are. Now. But before our father died, we weren’t. I grew up hating him because of my mother. Then I met Holly, and there was no hate to feel.” “What happened to her? Why aren’t you with her now?” The terrible events of the night that changed my life flashed through my mind. “She’s dead. A drug overdose when I wasn’t there to keep her safe.” Abbi’s eyes filled with tears and she looked up at me. “I’m sorry, Kane. I didn’t mean to bring up

things like that. I didn’t know.” I smoothed her hair under my palm and kissed her gently on the lips. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I should have been there to protect her, but I didn’t have a choice.” “Why?” she asked in a tiny voice filled with fear. Swallowing hard, I confessed to her all that I’d done, knowing that I might lose her because of it. “One night, she and I were out and four guys jumped us. I offered them everything I had thinking it was a mugging, but that’s not what they wanted. While the three of them held me down, the biggest one raped her as they forced me to watch. I swore to every one of them that I’d find them and make them pay, even as they were beating the hell out of me. I came to and saw Holly in a bloody heap next to me, barely conscious. When I could finally move without every bone in my body aching, I found every single one of them and beat the hell out of them. The one I’d watched rape her I went too far with and beat him to death. I didn’t mean to, but I wasn’t sorry.” Abbi cradled my face and kissed me. “Oh my God, Kane. I had no idea.” “Nobody knows. I’ve never told Cash or Stefan. Or anyone before you. They tried me for manslaughter and because I was a minor and he was an adult who’d raped Holly, they sentenced me to juvenile detention until I was twenty-one. So for four long years, I lived in a cell like any other prisoner. When they let me out, all I could think of was returning to Holly, but she was gone. She was never able to handle what that fucking animal did to her or what I did to him to make them take me away.” “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring all this up.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes and looked down at her. “You needed to know the kind of man you’re with. I’m not sorry I killed him, just like I wouldn’t be sorry if I killed your ex-boyfriend for hurting you. I’ve got this rage inside me that takes over.” Abbi stayed silent as the truth of who I was settled into her mind and then said, “I’ve never had anyone defend me. Maybe I should think it’s wrong for you to want to kill someone who hurt me, but I don’t. Every man I’ve ever been with hurt me, and never once did anyone step up to help me.” I leaned forward to kiss the spot near her eye where he’d hit her right before I met her. “I will never let anyone hurt you again. I promise you that.” Snuggling up against me, she said quietly, “You have this club, your car, and so much, and I have nothing. Why would you want someone like me?” “I didn’t know why or how, but I knew from the moment I saw you that night in Cash’s office that I’d never live another day without you in my mind or in my arms. I didn’t think I deserved someone so gentle and kind, so I did everything I could to keep you away all the while unable to think of anything but you, but it was no use. I couldn’t go on like that. Then when Gemma told me you were at The Carousel Club, something inside me snapped. I had to take you away from there.” “Do you still love that girl?” I thought about that for a minute. “In some ways, I’ll always love her. She was the first person to show me love. But I’m not in love with a ghost.” “I don’t know what to think of all this, Kane. I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t seem to do slow and easy when it comes to relationships. I just broke up with Aaron, and here I am naked in your arms. You told me about you, so I want to make sure you know who I am.” “I know everything I need to know, Abbi. You’re beautiful and sweet and gentle. You make me feel something I was sure I’d never feel again. I don’t need to know anything more.” She sat up and shook her head. “No, I want you to. You believed in me to tell me about who you are, so I want to tell you who I am.” “Okay, but it doesn’t matter what you tell me. To me, you’re my Abbi.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she began to speak. “I had the perfect family. My mother and father loved me, and I was their only child. And then one day it was all gone. My father died when I was ten, and my mother was devastated. She was so lonely. All she wanted was what she’d had with my father, so she looked for someone to fill that emptiness from my father’s death, but no one was ever enough. Her boyfriends came and went, each one spending just enough time in my life for me to get attached before they left or she left them. All she wanted to find was what she’d had with my father, but she never could.” I watched a tear slide down Abbi’s cheek and wiped it with my knuckle. She flinched and opened her eyes. Just seeing her this sad tore at my heart. “I promise you’ll never be alone again, angel.” “Everyone’s said that, Kane. And then everyone left. When I started dating boys, I went for all the wrong kind—the bad boy—and every one of them was bad. I’ve been beaten unconscious, and I’ve done some things other people might not think are right because I couldn’t see any other way. You called me angel, but I’m no angel.” I pulled her down on top of me and whispered against her lips, “You’re my angel.” “Then I’m a fallen angel, Kane. I may not have killed anyone, but I’ve done things that were almost as bad.” “Then we belong together. Two people who’ve done terrible things and had terrible things done to them finally deserve happiness, don’t you think?” “I want to believe that. I do. I’ve just never seen that before.” “I’ll have to make you happy then.” “I need to know something. Will you promise to tell the truth?” “Yes. Always.” “Why didn’t you watch me dance tonight? It meant so much to me that you would watch me, and then you said you didn’t even see much.” Smoothing the hair from her face, I looked into her eyes and told her the truth I knew might frighten her away. “I did watch you dance tonight. I stood in front of those monitors and watched every second of it, even though my gut hurt just seeing you dance for other men. I wanted to rush into each room and beat the fuck out of every one of them for watching you. I wanted to tear Rhett in half each time he touched you. I know it’s wrong, and I know I have to fight what I feel, but I wanted to hurt them.” “They weren’t hurting me. I like dancing. It makes me feel beautiful.” “I know. That’s why I didn’t do anything. I just stood there and watched the most beautiful woman in the world dance for strangers.” She closed her eyes and frowned. “I can’t bear to think what I’m doing makes you so unhappy. That’s not what I want. I won’t dance anymore. I can go back to bartending downstairs, if you’ll let me stay here a little longer.” “Abbi, open your eyes and look at me.” She did as I ordered and I continued. “No. You want to dance, so that’s what I want. And I don’t want you going anywhere else. I want you to stay right here with me.” “But I can’t stand the thought of you standing there so angry as I do something that makes me so happy.” Her willingness to give up what she loved made me want her even more. I slid my hands down over her back and cupped her ass to pull her up against my cock. “You’re going to dance and you’re going to stay here with me, and that’s final.” Abbi bit her lower lip as my cock touched her clit. “Oh, okay. Is there anything else you’ve decided?” “Just one more thing.” I slowly pushed inside her and groaned, “God, you feel so good around me. This is why I get jealous.

I know those men want to be inside you too.” Rolling her hips, she took me as deep as I could go. “I don’t want them. I only want you. All you need to do is remember that. I only want you, Kane.” The demons inside me who wanted me to possess her slowly began to uncoil, like a snake, and I slid out of her and turned her on her stomach, needing to claim her. In her ear, I groaned, “I want every man who sees you to know you’re mine.” She turned her head and whispered softly, “Yes.” Pulling her up to her hands and knees, I felt her body open up for me and I slammed into her until my cock had reached its hilt. “I want every man who sees you to know your body craves only me.” Abbi arched her back as I reared back to thrust into her again. “Yes,” she moaned, her answer punctuated with a tiny whimper. I leaned forward and pressed my palm to the front of her throat. “I want every man who sees you to know only my cock belongs inside you.” “Yes,” she said, her voice pleading for me to fill her up again. Barely able to control myself, I pushed my hips forward and buried myself balls deep in her wet cunt. “Feel that? Feel when those metal studs on my cock touch you? I want every man to know when they look at you that deep inside, you bear my mark on your skin. That every time my cock slides into your pussy, that mark is made fresh again.” She strained against my hold on her throat and groaned, “Yes. Please, yes.” The monster inside me took over, and I pounded into her body like a wild animal, fucking her from behind until her legs were barely able to hold her. She came once, twice, her body shaking from her orgasms, but my release lay waiting inside me still. The beast hadn’t gotten enough yet. She never wavered, even though I knew her body must have been exhausted. Every time I pushed my cock into her, she pushed back against me, wanting me to fill her up as much as I wanted her. Her cunt clung to me, and each time I pulled out of her, she moaned a tiny noise that made me need to be back inside her again. As I fucked her, my mind replayed every moment of her dancing and those who watched her. I became obsessed with her knowing she belonged to me and me alone. That she wasn’t theirs to have or love. They could watch her, but only I could feel her as she surrendered to my hands and my cock. I needed her. I adored her. I hated the men who watched her excite them. The thought of the man jerking off while she danced, defiling the sweetness of her, drove me wild, and I squeezed my hand around her throat. “I want every man who sees you dance to know you don’t dance for them. You dance for me.” She arched her back and in a pleading voice said, “You. Only you.” Sliding my free hand around her body, I pulled her upright, my other hand still circling her neck. My teeth sunk into her earlobe, biting down until she cried out my name, and I slid my finger over her swollen clit, teasing it as my cock continued to fill her. “Tell me you aren’t afraid of me. Tell me you know I would never hurt you, angel.” Her answer came out in tiny pants. “I know you’d never hurt me. You take care of me.” My fingers parted her folds as they pressed toward her opening, and I felt my cock filling her. “Does this hurt?” Her hand covered mine. Stretching her finger to reach, she stroked the underside of my cock, sending jolts of desire through me and I eased out of her only to thrust hard back into her. “It feels like you’re ripping me apart, but I’ve never felt so good in my life.”

The thought of hurting her tore at my heart. Suddenly, the demons inside me weren’t in control anymore. Gently, I bent her over and eased out of her body to take her pain away. “I’m sorry, angel,” I said softly near her ear. “I didn’t meant to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m a fucking monster. Leave me before I do something that I can’t apologize for.” Abbi leaned back against my chest and hung her head. “You didn’t hurt me. How can you say you’re a monster?” “I am and now you’ve seen the real me.” She turned to face me and shook her head. “That’s not the real you. The man who rescued me from that horrible club is the real you. The man who gave me his bed and got me clothes to wear is the real you. Kane, I don’t know what kind of monster you think you are, but with me, you aren’t that.” “I can’t control what I feel about you, Abbi. I’ve tried from the moment I met you, and every day my need for you gets worse. I’m afraid what I’m going to do if the demons inside me have their way. Every time I think of someone hurting you I want to kill them. It’s an overwhelming urge I have to fight constantly. If they can’t get their way, the demons will make me do something that hurts you.” “I can’t believe you’d hurt me. No. The way you are with me when we’re together like this doesn’t hurt me. I want to feel your desire for me. Don’t hold back. Show me how I make you feel.” I pulled her onto my lap and slowly slid inside her until our bodies joined completely. “I only feel whole when I’m inside you and your body is giving in to me. What if that won’t be enough someday? I worry my demons will turn on you.” Abbi kissed me, her tongue sliding over mine and sending waves of need straight to my cock. I lifted her off me until only the head of my cock teased her and slowly lowered her again, loving the sensation of her body gripping me like a glove. “I’ve known bad men. You aren’t them. Whatever this demon or beast is inside you makes you afraid you’ll hurt me. Don’t listen to it.” She rode me slowly, almost torturing me with the need to come, her body tenderly inching me closer until finally I exploded into her, filling her with my release. With her arms wrapped around my neck, she pressed against me and whispered, “I was beginning to doubt you wanted me you took so long.” Cradling her face, I looked into her eyes and saw she’d told the truth. “Never doubt that. I want you so bad it hurts. It’s like an ache inside that only wanes when you touch me. I’ve felt it since that first night when you danced for me.” “I only dance for you, Kane. When the music comes on, I close my eyes and think about you watching me. I think about your touch making my body come alive. I think about the feel of your piercings as they slide up inside me, sending strings of sensation through my body that make me never want to be with another man again.” “No one has ever liked that the way you do.” Abbi bit her lower lip and moaned, “Good. I want to be the only woman who feels you that way.”

Chapter Twelve

Abbi K ANE CARRIED ME INTO THE bathroom to wash me, as if cleaning me would get rid of any memory of whatever fears he had about hurting me. I’d never felt so wanted as when he was inside me, his hands caressing my body and his words telling me how much he cared. I couldn’t let him think he’d done anything wrong. He deserved to be as happy as he made me. Taking the soap from him, I ran my hands over his skin, loving the muscular ridges and valleys of his body. There, standing under the water, he looked down and watched me wash him like my very touch was something sacred to him. I gripped the base of his thick cock, still semi-hard from our lovemaking, and slowly moved my hand up to the head where those four metal studs sat. Caressing the velvety skin, I cleaned each piercing and slid my hand back down his shaft, loving the look of ecstasy that came over his face. Backing him up into the stream of water coming from the showerhead, I let it rinse him clean and pulled him back toward me. His eyes rolled back into his head and he groaned, “Don’t stop. God, don’t stop.” I loved seeing him like this. I wanted to make him happy, so I lowered myself to the floor of the porcelain tub and knelt in front of him. He stared down at me with pure need in his eyes, and I wanted to fulfill that need. Tracing the ridge of his hip, I touched my fingertip to a vein running next to it and followed my mouth along that path. I loved the feel of it against my tongue, raised from the skin like some beautiful roadmap to his cock. “Angel, wrap your lips around me.” He gripped his cock to direct it to my mouth, but I wanted to tease him a little more. Flicking my tongue over the base, I slid up to the swollen crown and sucked gently, tasting the pre-cum that seeped from it. I felt his hands in my hair and looked up to see a wild look in his eyes that told me his control was slipping away. His demons wanted more than just my teasing. I braced myself for the sweet pain that came from him pulling my hair as I went down on him, anticipating the first rough tug of his hands to guide me down on his cock. But it didn’t happen. Instead, he eased his fingers from my head and quietly said, “No more playing. Suck my cock, angel. I can’t control myself for long.” I knew by the soft look in his eyes that for the moment he had reign over his demons, so I wrapped my lips around him and slid my mouth down his shaft until the short hairs at the base tickled my nose and his piercings touched the back of my throat. My knees ached and my jaw hurt, but none of that mattered when I stared up at him and saw pure pleasure on his face. His clean and masculine taste danced over my tongue as I slid him out of my mouth, leaving only the pierced head against my lips. I cupped his balls and gently squeezed at the same time I sucked him back into my mouth, and from above me I heard a groan of pleasure echo against the tile walls. I bobbed my head up and down, all the time watching how my actions thrilled him. But soon I saw that same wild look in his eyes, and they narrowed to make his expression almost angry. His demons were gaining control.

“Angel, if you don’t get me off soon, I’m going to bury my hands in your hair and fuck your mouth hard and raw. I’m barely holding on here, baby.” “Maybe I like it that way,” I said with a smile before flicking the tip of my tongue up his shaft. “I’m not afraid of your demons, Kane.” I saw the change in his eyes as they grew dark, and then he buried his hands in my hair and yanked it tight in his fists. “You should be. Please, angel. I need to come.” He guided me down onto his cock until every inch had disappeared into my mouth. I didn’t know what he’d be like hard and raw, but I secretly loved the power that emanated from him when he was like this. I wanted to test those demons and show them they could do their worst but I wouldn’t be scared off. Kane pulled back out of my mouth and I stared up into his beautiful eyes looking down at me and pleading for me to save him from what they were pushing him to do. He pressed his hips forward with a low groan and said, “Jesus, Abbi. Don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you.” He fucked my mouth, not hard and raw but like a man who had a woman who loved pleasing him. As I went down on him, he caressed my cheek and moaned my name like a prayer. He possessed all the control, but I didn’t want it any other way. To see him tower over me thrusting his hips forward to fill my mouth made my pussy ache with need. When he came, I swallowed every ounce that flooded down my throat, loving the look on his face as I sucked him dry. Kane pulled me to my feet and kissed my lips still wet from him. “You make my fucking legs go weak, angel. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” I hugged him to me and pressed my cheek to his chest to hear his heart hammering away. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved seeing you like that.” The truth was I didn’t fear the beast inside him like he did. I loved that part of him as much as I loved the man who gently stroked my back now as we stood together with the water pouring down over our heads washing away all the doubts that lingered between us.

* STILL GROGGY FROM SLEEP, I stretched my legs and felt Kane’s muscular thigh push between them. Opening my eyes, I looked up into his face and saw him still asleep, his beautiful lips parted ever so slightly showing his straight white teeth. I couldn’t help but study him as he lay there next to me. His jaw and cheekbones were angular, and I reached out to run my fingertip over his early morning dark stubble he’d shave off before he started his day. Everything about him exuded strength and power. Even now as he slept, I felt protected with him by my side. He stirred as my fingers stroked his short black hair he kept cropped close to his scalp. Slowly, he opened his eyes and I saw their stunning blue color. Crystal clear even first thing in the morning, they focused on me immediately. “Morning. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry.” “It’s all right. Everything okay?” That was why even though I hadn’t told him, I was already falling madly and completely in love with him. No sooner were his eyes open and he wanted to know if I was okay. Not why I’d bothered him or woke him when he still wanted to sleep. Not what I’d do for him. He wanted to know how I was. “I’m fine, Kane.” A slow smile spread across his lips. “Good.” “I love it when you smile. A real smile. The kind you give at work are nice, but when you smile like

this I know it’s real.” His hand moved up my arm until it came to rest on my shoulder. Just like the first night I slept next to him, he slid his fingertips over the ends of my hair and over the back of my neck as we silently lay there on the floor together. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to me. It showed me I was beautiful in his eyes. Squeezing me close to him, he pressed his lips to the top of my head and whispered, “Are you happy, Abbi?” I lifted my head off his chest and looked at him. “Why? Aren’t you?” His hands pushed my hair from near my eyes and he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I asked if you were happy, and you want to know if I am. But you didn’t answer my question.” Fear coursed through me as I thought about what to say. I’d heard something like that from every man I’d ever been with. When I didn’t give the right answer, every one of them had become angry with me. “I don’t know the right answer, Kane,” I said quietly, avoiding his gaze and worried I’d already upset him. “The only right answer is the truth. If you’re not happy, you have to tell me so I can change whatever is making you unhappy, Abbi.” “I don’t want you to get angry with me.” Gently, he pulled my chin so I had to face him. “Look at me. I’m not going to be angry with you if you’re unhappy. I’m going to figure out how to make you happy, if that’s the case. Are you happy?” “Yes. I just worry that I’m going to do something to make you mad at me.” “Abbi, no matter how angry I get with you, I would never hit you. Never.” I believed him when he said that, but my past told me the different. “I believe you, Kane. I do. It’s just that it always ends up the same with me. Some guy says he cares, and then one day I say something to make him angry and he hits me. They all say they’ll never do it, but then they always do. It must be me. I must be the reason it happens.” “Don’t ever think that. You aren’t to blame because someone can’t control themselves.” “Then why does it always happen to me? Other women don’t get beat up by their boyfriends. It must be me,” I sobbed. He cradled my face in his hands, stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. Looking at me with such tenderness in his dark blue eyes, he said, “I don’t know, but I promise you’ll never be hurt by my hands. I’ll leave before I let my demons make me crazy. And if I ever see anyone lay a hand on you, I swear it’s the last thing they’ll ever do.” I lay my head on his chest and closed my eyes. As he gently ran his fingers over my nape, I whispered, “Promise me something else, okay?” “Anything.” “Promise me you’ll never do anything for me that could hurt you. I couldn’t stand you being hurt because of me.” “Don’t worry about me. I’m tough. I can handle a little hurt.” Looking up at him, I shook my head. “Please promise me.” “Okay, okay. I promise. But you don’t have to worry about me. As long as you’re safe and happy, I’m happy.” “Can we do something today?” He slid his palms over my back and pulled me close. “I have an idea on how I want to start the day. Other than that, I have a surprise for you.” “A surprise? What is it?”

He smiled. “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.” “Then let’s get up so we can go see this surprise!” I said as I moved to stand, eager to see what he’d gotten for me. Kane pulled me back down on top of him and nuzzled the spot just under my ear. “Not yet, angel. We haven’t started the day the right way.” When he pressed his lips to that spot and whispered his nickname for me in his husky voice, I couldn’t help but practically melt in his arms. He slid his hard cock through my already wet pussy, grazing my clit with the metal barbells pierced through the head and sending waves of need through my body. I rolled my hips and felt him nudge his cock up against my opening. Spreading my legs wide, I straddled him and slowly sat down on him, loving the fell of those metal balls gliding over the tender skin inside me. His cock stretched me until I didn’t think I could take any more, but I wanted all of him. Kane’s hands sat at my waist guiding me as I rode him. I loved being on top so I could look at his expression as I made him happy. When we were like this—naked and open with nothing standing between us—his eyes ceased to look cold, like they often did, and the passion and need in him became clear as he stared up at me. “You look so beautiful like this,” he groaned. I stopped for a moment and asked, “Like what?” Kane slid his thumb up to my clit and began to draw tiny, slow circles. “On top with me inside you.” Tracing the thin line of dark hair that led to his cock, I said, “I love when you say things like that.” Arching my back, I heard him say, “Oh yeah?” in that deep voice that never failed to thrill me. Leaning forward, I settled my gaze on his beautiful face and nodded. “I love whenever you speak, but especially now.” His thumb ceased its movement and Kane pulled me hard down onto his cock, grunting a guttural sound as he pushed his hips off the floor to bury his cock inside me. “Ride me, angel. I want to watch your body give in to me. I want to feel that snug cunt squeeze my cock when you come.” I pressed my hands to his hard chest and balanced as our bodies joined and separated over and over, his body marking me as his own with every thrust of his pierced cock. I gave myself to him willingly, wanting more than anything to give him the pleasure he gave me. His cock swelled inside me as we raced toward our release, and he sat up and pulled my body to his, pressing me tightly to his chest as my orgasm began. Holding the back of my neck, he said gruffly, “Don’t close your eyes. I want to see them when you come.” I obeyed his command and kept focused on him as wave after delicious wave rolled over me. My body surrendered completely, becoming his as each moment passed. His eyes looked deep into mine, into the depths of my soul as he came. In them, I saw need and safety. And love. I SLID INTO KANE’S MUSTANG and turned to face him as he started the car. “Will you tell me now what the surprise is?” “Not yet. A few minutes more.” Pouting, I asked, “Where are we going?” “That’s the surprise. Just sit tight and be patient. I don’t have to hold the lock down so you don’t leave, do I?” he asked with tiny grin. I blushed at his mention of how I’d behaved that night he took me out of The Carousel Club. Lifting his hand to my lips, I kissed it and quietly said, “I’m sorry I was so awful.” He put the car into gear and kissed me on the forehead. “You had every right. I was kidnapping you.”

“No, you weren’t. You were doing something nice and I acted like a bitch. I’m sorry, Kane.” “It’s okay. As long as you don’t still think I’m some kind of Cro-Magnon man,” he joked. “Now close your eyes and wait for your surprise.” I shielded my eyes with my hand and closed them tightly. “I’m so excited! I haven’t gotten a surprise like this since I was a little girl.” He drove over the streets of Tampa and joked about how impatient I was until we finally came to a stop. I began to lower my hand, but he grabbed it. “No, not yet. I want you to keep your eyes closed. I’ll come around and get you.” I waited for him to open my door, and he took my hand to lead me to my surprise. I heard children playing nearby and was sure I was walking on a sidewalk, but other than that, all I knew was Kane had my hand in his and I trusted him completely. “There are three steps, so watch yourself so you don’t fall.” Nodding, I squeezed his hand tightly and walked up the stairs onto a surface that made a creaking sound when my foot landed on it. “Can I look yet? Please?” “Just a few seconds more.” I heard him open what sounded like an old screen door that needed to be oiled and then his hand pressed softly against my lower back to guide me. He stopped our movement and in my ear said, “Okay, you can open your eyes now.” Lowering my hand, I slowly opened my eyes to see we were in someone’s house. Full of knickknacks, it looked like someone lived there but I didn’t see anyone around. “Whose house is this, Kane?” “Mine.” I looked up at him in total confusion. “Yours? Then why do you live in those rooms at the club?” Kane smiled. “This was my mother’s house. My father bought it for her, but he never lived here with us. This was where I grew up. When my mother died, it came to me, but I never felt right living here alone. I figured now since you’re staying with me, it might be time for me to come back here.” “You mean we’re going to be living here?” Looking around at the house obviously so full of memories, he said, “Yeah, if you want to.” I let go of his hand and walked through the living room to a kitchen at the back of the house. Kane followed and smiled when I squealed, “I love it! It’s so cute!” “Good. Then I’ll have all your things brought here and we can start sleeping here tonight.” I sensed a hint of sadness in his voice. “Is everything okay? We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. I’m fine with your rooms at the club. I like sleeping on the floor. As long as you’re next to me, I don’t care where we are.” He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him. “No, that’s not it. It’s just strange being back here after all this time.” “How long has it been since you lived here?” Kane seemed to think about it for a minute and answered, “It’s got to be seven or eight years.” I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him. “Well, what do you say as a celebration I make us dinner in this wonderful house of yours?” “Ours. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, and when you finally make enough money to move to your own place, I’ll close this place up again and move back to my rooms. Unless you decide not to move.” I stared up into his gorgeous blue eyes and saw he was sincere. “You barely know me, Kane. Maybe you should wait until I make you angry and we have our first fight before you offer to let me live here with you permanently.”

“Abbi, I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. I don’t think about the future. Never could. I try not to think about the past. There’s nothing good back there. The present is all I’ve ever been able to focus on, and right now, I can’t think of anyone else in the world I want next to me every morning when I wake up.” The idea of the future being so vague scared me. “And I’m all about tomorrow, Kane, because my past and present have been bad for so long. The future’s all I had to hope for.” He kissed me softly on the lips and pressed his forehead to mine. “Then it’s settled. I’ll worry about making your present good, and you worry about making my future good, okay?” “Okay.” “Come with me. I want to show you the rest of the house.” I’d never seen Kane as happy as when he gave me the tour of that house. I couldn’t imagine him having any good memories of the place after hearing about his childhood, but his whole personality seemed lighter just being there. The serious man who’d intimidated me when we’d first met beamed with every room he showed me. The change was completely unexpected, but I loved it. I loved him. It was crazy and stupid and I only knew him for just over a month, but I loved him with every ounce of my being. And the thought of a time when he and I didn’t live in that little house with its squeaky door and the joyful sound of children playing outside made my heart hurt.

Chapter Thirteen

Abbi I SAT WITH GEMMA IN the dancers’ break room waiting for the night to begin, still nervous since it was only my first week of actually dancing at Club X. The other dancers sat around us, some fixing their costumes while others put on makeup instead of getting ready in the dressing room right next door. A few of the dancers sat in the far corner of the room drinking as they did every night. Gemma had told me about them on my first night. They were some of the ones who danced in the rooms without their clothes on, and Gemma thought they had to get drunk just to do the job. All three women had gorgeous bodies—much nicer than any of us who danced with our clothes on—and one in particular, Simone, had the most beautiful violet colored eyes. I didn’t know if they were real or contacts, but they were stunning. Leaning over, I whispered to Gemma, “I wonder if they make a lot more than we do.” Unsure who I meant, she shook her head. “Who?” “Simone and the others who dance naked in the rooms.” “I bet they do. They have to handle a lot more than we do. Why do you think they drink?” “I guess,” I said quietly, unable to take my eyes off their corner. Was it really so bad that they had to be drunk? “I hear Victoria prefers a different kind of way to forget,” Gemma said with a wink. “Really? What?” She didn’t answer but sniffed to let me know she meant coke. I’d seen a bunch of the dancers at The Carousel do coke on that one night I danced there, but I was surprised to find out Kane allowed that kind of thing at Club X. “I guess it’s not that great if you have to do things like that.” Gemma nudged me with her elbow. “What do you care about making more money? Now that you’re living with Kane, you have it made. The guy’s a millionaire, not that you’d ever know it, but he is.” “Really?” “Of course, honey! He’s one of the owners of this place. He, Stefan, and Cassian all own Club X, so if the other two are millionaires, so is he.” “I didn’t think about that,” I said quietly. Gemma continued to talk about something, but I wasn’t listening anymore. My attention was on Kane who’d just walked into the room wearing jeans and a navy blue T-shirt that showed off his tattoos. He didn’t act like he was a millionaire. He acted like every other guy I’d ever dated. Millionaires dated women who wore designer clothes and shoes that cost more than I made in a week. I wasn’t exactly the type of female a man with money would want to show off to his rich friends. He finished his nightly pep talk, and we all began to file out toward our first assignments. Suddenly self-conscious about everything I was and wasn’t, I followed close to Gemma to try to sneak out past him, but he caught me by the arm and pulled me aside. “Hey, angel. I’ll be watching you tonight,” he said in a sexy voice. I avoided looking at him, instead looking down at my feet. “Cool. Thanks. I better get going.” Kane lifted my chin with his finger and looked down at me with hurt in his eyes that made me feel like shit. “What’s wrong? Did something happen with one of the girls?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s not that.” “Then what’s wrong? I told you it’s my job to make your present happy, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” “You’re a millionaire.” “Yeah, I am. A few times over, in fact.” “What would you want with someone like me then?” “Why would I live in those rooms on the fourth floor? Why would I drive a car older than me? Why would I wear T-shirts and jeans? Having money doesn’t change who I am, Abbi.” “I’m sorry. You’re mad at me now. I can tell because you called me by my name.” He gave me one of those wonderful smiles I only saw when we were alone. “I’m not mad at you. Don’t think about how much money I have. It obviously doesn’t change who I am. And as for what I’d want with you, it’s exactly what I get from you. You make me happy.” “Okay. I just wondered when I found out you had all that money. I’m not what a millionaire would want in a girlfriend, Kane.” “You’re what I want in a girlfriend, angel. Now go out there so I can watch the most beautiful woman in the world dance.” I hugged him tightly, loving the feel of his strength around me. “I’ll pretend I’m dancing for you.” “Good. And later when we go back to the house, I have another surprise for you.” Another surprise? I stepped back in shock. “Another one? Let me guess. You got the front door fixed so it doesn’t squeak anymore,” I said with a giggle. “No, and no more guessing. Now get out there so I have someone to watch tonight.” I DANCED THE BEST I could, my eyes closed and every moment pretending it was Kane sitting in those rooms watching me. I loved the idea of him standing out at his post at the top of the stairs looking at the monitors for my assignments. It meant so much to me that he liked what I did and I made him proud. My rooms were only for solo dancing, likely because Kane had told Samson not to pair me with Rhett or any of the other male dancers. I could handle that. His jealousy made me feel loved and cherished, and I’d never want him to be hurt by anything I did. I didn’t have to dance with anyone else. My dancing was for me and the man I loved. The night flew by, and by three a.m. we were back at the house we now called home. He hadn’t mentioned my surprise again, but I knew he wouldn’t forget. Kane never forgot anything. He might not say anything about a problem or comment, but he remembered. I opened the front door and heard it squeak. Turning to look at him as we entered the house, I joked, “Definitely not my surprise.” “No. Your surprise is waiting for you inside. I’d say close your eyes, but you’ll probably hear it before you see it. Just be careful when you walk in and let me turn on the lights first.” Hear it before I saw it? And why would I have to be careful in the dark? Kane flipped the light switch and there in the middle of the living room lay a tiny dark brown and white kitten curled up on a white pillow twice its size. “Angel, meet Angel. Now it’s the three of us.” “Oh my God! She’s adorable, Kane! A kitten—” I couldn’t hold back the tears and began to cry at how sweet he’d been to get me a kitten. “I’ve always wanted a cat.” He walked past me and crouched down to pick the kitten up in his hands. “I thought it would be nice to have someone here on the nights I have to work and you don’t.” I knelt down next to him and petted her soft fur. “She’s so gorgeous. I love the way she’s all white

except for around her nose and mouth and on her ears and feet. It looks like she was dipped in chocolate. And she has the biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen!” Handing her to me, he said, “Here. Hold her. She’s obviously happy. She’s purring.” She settled into my palms and opened her mouth wide to yawn. So small and so delicate, she made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. “She’s so beautiful. I can’t believe you got her for me. Nobody’s ever gotten me anything like this.” “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” “Why did you name her Angel? Isn’t that your name for me?” I asked as I rubbed her perfectly white belly. “Because she’s sweet like you. I walked into the store and she looked up at me with those blue eyes and all I could think of was how beautiful she was, just like when I saw you for the first time.” I could have sat in the middle of the living room floor and played with her all night. Angel was perfect and precious. I instantly fell in love with her. When it was time to go to bed for the first time in our new house, I followed Kane up the stairs to a room with a queen size bed and other normal bedroom furniture, unlike in his room at the club. Extending his arm, he showed off our new accommodations. “A real bedroom for us. You deserve better than to sleep on the floor or on that old twin bed of mine.” With Angel in my arms, I climbed on top of the white down comforter and closed my eyes, loving the feel of its softness under me. Lying back, I set the kitten on my chest and whispered to her, “A new home for you and me, Angel.” Kane climbed into bed and as we fell asleep in each other’s arms, he whispered those same words to me. “A new home for you and me, angel.”

* ANGEL AND I PUTTERED AROUND the house finding out about our new place after Kane left for the club just before eleven the next morning. I set up her food and water in part of the pantry at the back of the house and made sure she had a litter box too. Because she was a kitten, she slept a lot, so I busied myself with cleaning the first floor of a thin layer of dust before Gemma came by to see my new place. Right before noon, she knocked at my door and peeked her head in. “Hey, you! Let me in to see your new digs!” I opened the door and beamed my pride in the house Kane had given us. “This is it! Isn’t it incredible? And wait until you see what else he got me!” Gemma walked in and looked around with her mouth hanging open in amazement. I knew how she felt. I’d been amazed when I first saw it too. Angel came trotting in and stopped at Gemma’s feet to look up at her with her big blue eyes as if to say, “Who are you?” “Oh my, Abbi! She’s adorable! Kane got you a kitten?” Gemma asked as she knelt down to scratch Angel between the ears. The kitten lifted her chin to let her know some scratches on her neck were in order too. “Isn’t she cute? Her name is Angel, after his nickname for me.” Gemma picked up the kitten to cradle her in her arms. “Kane and a kitten. I can’t believe it. You must be the luckiest woman in the world.” I ushered her over to the couch so we could sit and talk. “I think I am. It’s hard to believe just a few weeks ago I was living in that awful apartment with Aaron and out of a job and now today I get to live in a place like this with a man like Kane and my very own beautiful kitten.”

Angel kneaded my leg and found a place to snuggle on my lap as Gemma told me all about her new boyfriend and how happy they were. As she spoke, I couldn’t help but think we’d finally found the happiness we both had hoped for. Gemma might not have had a boyfriend who beat her, but she’d dated her share of losers and this new guy sounded like he treated her like she deserved. “I’m so happy for you, Gemma. Billy sounds like a great guy. He’s got a great girlfriend in you too, so don’t forget that.” “Don’t worry about me. I’m more concerned about you and all this. You and Kane certainly do move fast. One night he’s taking you out of that club across town and the next he’s moving you into a house and buying you a pet.” I sensed the caution in her words and knew she was probably right to be worried about how fast we were moving. “I know. I didn’t have anything to do with this house, though. I only asked him if I could stay at his place until I made enough money to get a place of my own, but then things just happened between us. He’s just so different when we’re alone, Gemma. He’s not that scary guy I met the day I interviewed or the quiet guy at work. He’s gentle and sweet and when he smiles, I can’t help but—” Cutting off my sentence before I said the words I worried would get me a lecture, I switched my attention to Angel who had climbed up onto my chest and was now kneading on my collarbone. “And this little one is just too cute, isn’t she?” Gemma knew me too well to let my diversion work and knitting her brows, leveled her gaze on me. “Can’t help but what? Are you falling in love with him, Abbi?” I hung my head and quietly said the truth. “Yes.” “I don’t want to put a damper on this for you. It’s just that you’re so open and vulnerable after the whole Aaron thing, which I totally get. He finally got his, though, so at least there’s that.” I looked up at her, confused about what she meant about Aaron. “Got what?” “Didn’t I tell you? I heard from that lady who rented the apartment to you two that somebody beat the snot out of him. They found him on the sidewalk in front of your old place all busted up. He just got out of the hospital, but he’s still a mess, Abbi. I’m guessing he crossed the wrong person finally.” “Someone beat him up?” “Yeah. Broken nose, ribs, internal injuries and all that. He had it coming to him, honey. He beat you up enough times to deserve whatever the world dumps on him.” “Yeah, I guess,” I said quietly, my mind drifting back to what Kane had told me about why he went to prison. “What’s wrong? You can’t be sad about what happened to Aaron. He was a total asshole to you.” Shaking my head, I forced a smile. “No. I wouldn’t wish pain on anyone, but I don’t care what happens to Aaron. Whoever beat him up just gave him a dose of his own medicine.” “He’ll be fine, but maybe he won’t be so quick to smack women around anymore. I bet he got nasty with some girl and her brother and his friends found Aaron and let him know that’s not the way to treat her.” Gemma and I moved on from Aaron and continued to talk about the wonderful house and how life had finally given us all the blessings we’d always dreamed of having, but I couldn’t get the thought of someone attacking him out of my mind. I ran through every moment since Kane and I began spending time together and couldn’t figure out when he would have found the time to do it, but I couldn’t shake the idea that he had. ANGEL AND I FELL ASLEEP on the couch, but at just after one a.m., I felt a hand shaking my shoulder and opened my eyes to see Kane kneeling down next to me. “How are my two girls doing tonight?”

The kitten jumped down onto the floor and scurried away as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. “I wanted to stay up to see you.” “I left Samson in charge so I could come home early. It’s only one.” Sitting up, I worked to focus my eyes. I needed to speak to Kane about my suspicions with Aaron’s beating. “Gemma told me something today. I want to ask you a question.” He sat back on his haunches and slowly slid his hands up my thighs, smiling that sexy grin that never failed to make me want him. “Shoot.” His touch made my brain go foggy, and I couldn’t concentrate. “I’m serious. I need to ask you about something.” Kane stopped his hands’ movement. “Okay. Ask.” “Do you know anything about my ex-boyfriend getting beaten to a pulp?” I watched his expression for any sign of his guilt, but his face remained the same as it had just moments earlier. Placid, almost stony. His eyes, soft and gentle as they usually were when we were alone, stared up at me and he said, “I don’t know who your ex is, angel.” “Gemma told me someone beat the hell out of Aaron and he was injured bad enough he had to be hospitalized.” “Why would I know about that?” he asked with just a hint of sharpness in his tone. Placing my hands on top of his on my thighs, I stared down at their size. The hands that cradled my face when we made love and caressed my body to heights of ecstasy were powerful and nearly twice as big as mine. I ran my fingertips over their thick knuckles and imagined the pain they’d inflict when they hit another’s cheek. “I don’t know.” “This man beat you, angel. Why would you care if someone did the same to him?” I lifted his hands from my legs and brought them to my lips. Kissing one hand and then the other, I lay my cheek against his open palm. “I don’t care about him. I care about someone getting in trouble for what they did. Gemma thinks it’s probably his new girlfriend’s brother who did it to let him know the girl had people watching out for her.” Kane kissed me on the forehead and smiled. “I’m sure she’s right. I wouldn’t worry about someone getting in trouble. Maybe it’s just karma coming back to haunt him.” I wanted to think that. The thought of Kane harming someone seemed so foreign, even though he’d told me what he did to that man who’d raped the girl he loved. Part of me worried the anger that could make him beat someone so badly would someday be turned on me, but I couldn’t believe that. Whatever he might be to other people, to me he was always kind and protective. No one would ever be able to convince me he was like the others. Kane wasn’t a bad man, no matter what he did to people who hurt those he cared about.

Chapter Fourteen

Kane CASH SAT IN HIS OFFICE waiting as Stefan and I arrived and took our seats. The frown etched into Cash’s face told me everything I needed to know about this meeting. Unless he’d somehow fucked everything up with Olivia, he was about to tell us something bad that would affect all of us. “Jesus, Cash. You look like some disgruntled old bastard. What’s with the face?” Stefan asked as he settled into his chair in front of Cash’s desk. “I’m not in the mood for your ass busting today, Stefan, so if we can just pretend this is a place of business for a few minutes, I need to discuss something serious with both of you.” Stefan looked at me for some clue what was bothering our brother, but I had nothing. He hadn’t said anything to me. “Okay. Sorry, Cash. What’s up?” “Mason. He wants to come by to see what his help is getting him. As if the money we pay means nothing.” “This guy is a pain in the ass. I’m beginning to think he’s worse than Shank,” I said, understanding Cash’s frustration. We paid him each month. Now he wanted to check out what he was getting for his money? Fucking politician! “I’m thinking it’s no big deal, guys,” Stefan said in a chipper voice. “We run a great place, so what’s he going to find? I’ll make sure my bartenders serve him the good stuff, and when he goes upstairs, Kane can make sure he gets the show of his life. He’s already a member, so it isn’t like he hasn’t seen what we do. Nothing to worry about, I say.” Cash’s frown stayed firmly in place. “It’s the fact that now he wants to see about his investment, as he calls it. I just have a bad feeling about him. He mentioned he’s bringing his brother with him, some guy who runs a bar in Bradenton.” “Manatee County’s finest watering hole?” Stefan said sarcastically. “Maybe I’ll tell the bartenders to forget the top shelf stuff. He probably wouldn’t know the difference.” “I wish you’d take this seriously, Stefan. I’m worried.” I knew Cash wasn’t exaggerating. I hadn’t seen him this stressed out since the whole problem with Shank. “Don’t worry. Stefan will do what he always does and Mason and his brother will love the club. Then they’ll come upstairs and my people will make sure this backwater bar owner is blown away by their talents. We’ll take care of it, Cash. You just do your thing and we’ll make Mason happy he’s working with us.” Nodding, he sighed deeply. “Okay. I just have a bad feeling about this guy. Every week it’s something else with him. Maybe it’s what Olivia said. Maybe I did get too used to dealing with Shank. I hope so.” “Not to worry, big brother,” Stefan said with a smile. “The March brothers own the best club around.” Realizing what he’d said, he turned toward me and chucked me on the shoulder. “You’re like a March, so it works. We all come from the same sperm, so that makes us brothers, no matter what your last name is.” I looked over at Cash, who didn’t seem to know how to react to Stefan’s declaration of brotherhood, and shook my head. “On that note about our father’s sperm, I’m out of here. I have work to do so Mason and his brother have the time of their lives. Just give me a call when you’re bringing them up.” “He said they’d be here around ten, so I’ll keep them downstairs with Stefan’s people to loosen them

up for a while. I’m thinking between eleven and midnight.” Standing, I turned to leave. “Got it. I’ll block out some time with my best dancers. Any idea what they’ll want?” “No, but I’m thinking girls in the room would be a good bet. Plan on that.” With a chuckle, I said, “It’ll be the easiest dance most of them have ever had, I bet. Small town guys are usually pretty easy on the girls.” “Let’s hope so.” WHEN EVERYONE ARRIVED FOR WORK, I pulled Simone aside to let her know about the club’s special guest for that night and explained how she’d be working with another dancer for him. Always a trooper, she jumped at the chance to show off her stuff and represent the club. “Thanks, Simone. I knew you’d be a good choice. I’m going to put you with Abbi, so he’ll have opposite ends of the spectrum.” “She’s brand new, Kane. Are you sure?” Simone asked, her eyes studying me closely. “You doubt my decision?” I joked. “No. Just that she’s never done anything in the rooms and she’s really new.” “She’ll be fine. I’ll be watching on the monitors, so don’t worry. It won’t be a girl on girl thing. It’s just the two of you dancing in the room.” Simone shrugged. “Oh, okay. So we’ll just be doing our thing and that’s it? Who’s the guy?” “The brother of someone we’re working with, so I want him happy.” A sly smile spread across her lips. “How happy are we talking here, Kane? You’re putting your girlfriend in the room with him.” “Not that kind of happy.” Simone’s allusion to them servicing Mason’s brother bothered me, and it was clear from her reaction that she knew. “It’s kinda cool seeing you with someone, Kane. Everyone knows, but it’s okay. You just broke a few hearts.” “Get to work.” I turned and walked out toward my post as she called after me, “I saw that smile. I want you to know I like this new Kane better than the cranky one.” Ignoring her teasing, I found Abbi milling around the fifth floor hallway with a few other dancers. “Ladies, you need to get yourselves ready, so head back to the dressing room. We’ve got a big night tonight and I want things to be great.” As they passed me, I caught Abbi by the arm and stopped her. “I’m going to have you dance in one of the rooms tonight.” Fear filled her eyes. “In a room? I’ve never done that, Kane,” she said in a panicked voice. “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Simone will be in there. Just dance like you always do, okay?” Nodding, she tried to force a smile. “Okay.” “I won’t let anything hurt you, angel. I’ll be watching on the monitor the whole time.” “I know. I just worry that I’ll mess up.” I ran my finger down a long blond tendril that touched her cheek and whispered, “I wish we were home right now and you weren’t wearing that wig. I like it better when I get to run my fingers through your hair.” She instinctively touched her nape and frowned. “I wish I still had my hair.” “Shhh. You look beautiful no matter what your hair looks like. Now go get ready and when Samson comes to get you for that dance, don’t worry. Remember, I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Abbi stared at me with a frightened look for a long moment and then said quietly, “Okay.” I saw a text right before midnight from Stefan telling me Cash was bringing Mason’s brother up to his room, so I texted back Room 1 and sent Samson to find Abbi and Simone. I didn’t like the idea of them being two floors down, but that was the only big room empty for the night. I’d be watching the entire time, so if anything happened I’d be down there in seconds. Cash brought Jethro Jennings up to meet me on the fifth floor a few minutes later. Not always a believer in first impressions, this time I couldn’t deny they were usually right. I instantly disliked the guy. His look was too fucking slick, especially for a supposed small town bar owner. Well shorter than his brother, he came up to right above my shoulder and reeked of cheap drug store cologne like he’d taken a bath in the shit. One look and I knew he gave off a vibe that made me mistrust him as much as I’d ever mistrusted Shank. As usual, Cash played his role as the consummate classy businessman with perfection, though. Even as his eyes watered from the smell of his guest, he introduced Mason’s brother and I shook his hand, noticing how tight the guy’s grip was. Only men trying to prove they’re tough guys shook hands like that. “Nice place you have here, Kane. Can’t ever go wrong with tits and ass.” Asshole. I may have been the guy who ran the darker section of the club that rarely kept on the right side of the law, but I did it with respect for my people. This guy in one sentence had diminished every person who danced for us to body parts. Cash’s eyes grew as big as saucers, probably because he thought I’d lay the guy out for saying that kind of shit about my staff, but I knew my role in this and simply smiled as I tried to forget how much this guy rubbed me the wrong way. “I think you’ll find my people are the best around, Jethro. Enjoy your time here. And as I always tell our members, remember no touching unless the ladies say so.” Quickly, Cash told him about the room we’d set up for him down on the third floor, and they left to head off in that direction just as Samson came running up behind me. “Small wardrobe malfunction. Simone must have had one too many pieces of Janie’s chocolate cake the other night because she’s busting out of her top. They’re fixing it now, but she needs a few minutes before she can get to the third floor room.” “Is Abbi ready?” “Yeah. She’s good to go.” Samson wrinkled his nose. “What is that disgusting smell?” I rolled my eyes. “The guy she and Simone have to dance for. Cash just took him down there, but he’s still with us in all his disgusting spirit.” “We usually get a better class of people here. Anyway, I’ll get Simone downstairs as soon as Janie gets her sewn into her costume.” “All right. I’m sure Abbi will be fine. Just tell Simone to lay off the cake from now on.” “Got it!” Samson ran back to get Simone ready as the fifth floor began to fill up with members waiting for their rooms. Booked solid all night, the fantasy rooms would be busy right up until closing, but my focus was on Mason’s brother two floors down. Checking the monitor, I saw Cash close the door behind him, leaving Jethro on the couch to wait for Abbi. Inhaling, I took a deep breath of the lingering stench of his cologne and watched as she entered the room. She’d never interacted with any of the members before—something I hadn’t considered until that moment—but she gave him one of her sweet smiles and introduced herself. The first notes of music filtered into the room, and on cue, she closed her eyes and began dancing.

Her white dress flowed gently as her hips slowly swung left and right. Just as the first night I saw her perform, she enchanted me. The intoxicating mixture of innocence and sensuality never failed to take my breath away. She was beauty and sweetness, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I saw Jethro respond to her just as every other member had, leaning back against the couch to stare up in awe of her dancing just for him. That she danced only for me was our secret. Abbi turned her back to him to perform the section of her dance that involved her teasing members with her gorgeous ass and shy glances. Always a favorite part in the past, it seemed to make Jethro unhappy. Leaning forward, he frowned, but when Abbi looked back and smiled at him, he appeared to like what he saw. Then as I watched her turn her back on him again, he lurched forward and grabbed her so quickly she cried out in terror. In a second, I was running down two flights of stairs, pushing people out of the way as my fear of what he was doing to Abbi took over. I tore down the third floor hallway, threw the door open, and what I saw made me go blind with rage. Jethro’s fucking hands grabbed at Abbi’s body as she screamed for him to stop. I ripped him off her and tossed him across the room. She fell to the ground, but I followed him and slammed my fist into his face, crushing his nose as I held him down on the floor. Blood squirted from his face, covering my hands, and I reared my arm back again to smash my knuckles against his cheekbone. His jaw shattered beneath my fist, but still I didn’t stop. Over and over, I pummeled him, governed by a singular need to hurt him like he hurt her. I didn’t know when he stopped fighting back—he’d landed a few punches but I didn’t feel them—but at some point I realized he was little more than a ragdoll. Hands pulled at me to let him go. I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop even though his blood covered me and he’d stopped fighting back. Finally, I heard Abbi screaming for me to stop. I turned to see her crying and instantly dropped Jethro’s lifeless body to the floor to go to her. Cash and Stefan tried to hold me back, but I easily pushed their hands from my shoulders and took Abbi in my arms. Sobbing, she sagged against my chest and whispered, “I didn’t mean to do this. He just came at me.” Her words made my hands ball into fists again. She hadn’t deserved what that fucking pig had done, and now she was apologizing. I ran my hand down her back, trying to comfort her. “You did nothing wrong, angel. Don’t talk. Shhh. I’m here, angel. I’m here.” I felt a hand on my arm and turned my head to see Cash next to me saying something. His words sounded garbled, like he was talking underwater. Finally, they began to come through loud and clear. “Kane, what happened here?” “He grabbed Abbi. I stopped him.” Mason entered the room and pointed his finger in my face, barking, “You’ll pay for this and not just with this club!” Lunging at him, I reached out to grab that fucking finger to break it off, but Abbi and Cash held me back while Stefan pulled Mason out into the hallway so I couldn’t get at him too. Abbi begged me to stop, quietly pleading, “Kane, no more. Please no more.” “Cash, I’m taking Abbi home.” He looked back at Jethro lying all bloody and broken on the floor and then at me. “The cops are going to want to know what happened. Mason’s not going to help with this.” “I don’t care. I’m going home. Handle this.” Abbi buried her head in my chest, and I huddled close to her as we walked her out to my car at the back of the building. Blood ran off my hands and arms, covering her white dress wherever I touched her. At the car, I stopped and slid out of my shirt for her to wear so she wouldn’t have to look at blood all the

way home. She stared up at me as I wrapped it around her shoulders. “Are you okay? There’s so much blood, Kane. Are you hurt?” Shaking my head, I smiled. “I don’t think so. Wear this. It has less blood on it.” I began to button it to cover her, and she stopped my hands. “You’re always covering me with your shirt. I need to know you’re okay.” “I’m fine, angel. As long as you’re not hurt, I’m fine.” Abbi caressed my cheek with her palm and gave me a tiny smile. “I’m worried, Kane. I don’t want you to get in trouble for this. I can’t stand the idea of that.” “I’m fine. Cash will take care of it. Let’s go home and get you cleaned up.” I knew that was a lie. If Mason’s brother died, I’d be arrested and charged with murder. If he lived, at the very least I’d be charged with assault. Either way, there was little chance Mason could be bribed out of making sure I saw the inside of a prison again. Abbi held my still blood-covered hand as I drove to the house, apologizing the entire way there. This wasn’t her fault, and no matter how much I knew I should be sorry for what I’d done, I wasn’t. He’d hurt someone I loved and gotten what he deserved. I wouldn’t be sorry for that. That’s what a man was supposed to do. A man should protect the woman he loves, and that’s what I did. I wouldn’t apologize for taking care of Abbi. She leaned her head against my shoulder and said quietly, “Kane, I’m worried. What’s going to happen?” I softly kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry. No matter what, we’ll be okay.” That promise I could live up to. Even if the worst happened and they ended up putting me away for what I did, Cash and Stefan would make sure Abbi was taken care of. When all was said and done, they were my brothers and whoever I cared about they cared about. That’s what brothers did, even half-brothers.

Chapter Fifteen

Abbi K ANE SAT AT THE KITCHEN table in only his pants, still covered in blood from his elbows to his fingertips. I’d cleaned off all the blood splatters on his face and neck, and taking his hands in mine, I slowly wiped each finger clean of blood and checked for any cuts, but all the blood was that man’s, not his. He said nothing but watched me carefully, like what I was doing enthralled him. Dipping the washcloth in the big bowl of water next to me, I rinsed out the blood and returned to cleaning his arms. Each stroke over his skin revealed another part of his tattoos. Within a short time, I’d cleaned him up and couldn’t stay silent any longer. “You say not to worry, but aren’t the police going to get involved, Kane?” “No more talking about that, angel. I want to spend a quiet night at home like other people do.” My fear at what would happen to him nagged at me, but why wouldn’t he talk to me about it? I couldn’t stand there and pretend everything was okay. I took the bowl full of bloody water to the sink and washed it out, letting the water dilute the dark red liquid until none of it was left. As if it was perfectly normal to clean some man’s blood off the man you love after watching him beat him because of you. Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about the police taking Kane away from me. Hanging my head, I quietly said, “I can’t pretend like I’m okay with this. I need you to talk to me.” “There’s nothing to talk about.” God, why wouldn’t he talk to me? Frustrated, I turned the water off and slammed the bowl down in the drainer. Then I turned around and yelled, “Yes, there is! What am I going to do if they take you away from me?” All the emotion drained from his face until he looked stark white. His eyes, usually so soft when he looked at me, hardened so he looked like he did that first night I met him. “You’ll never be alone, Abbi. If I’m not around, Cash and Stefan will make sure you’re okay until I get back.” “Why did you do it? Why didn’t you just push him away?” His eyes softened and he gave me that gentle look I loved. “Because he was hurting you. I protect the woman I love, no matter what.” All my fear and anger ebbed away at the sound of those words. I protect the woman I love. I knelt down in front of him and looked up into that beautiful, tortured face. “You love me?” He cradled my cheek in his hand. “More than anything or anyone else in the world. No matter what they do to me, it couldn’t be worse than seeing you hurt.” “But I’ll be hurt if you’re not with me. I love you, Kane. I don’t want to lose you.” “I promise you won’t lose me. I won’t let that happen.” “The police are probably on their way right now. They’re going to take you away and all because of me,” I sobbed. “Let’s go upstairs. Time for bed.” Kane pulled me up to my feet and took my hand in his to lead me up to our bedroom. “No more talk about that. I don’t want to think of anything but how your body feels against mine.” I followed him up the stairs, clutching his hand in mine. Still dressed in my costume and his shirt, I stood by our bed as he slid out of his pants and saw the mess I was. Suddenly, the reality of what I’d

caused was too much to bear and I began to cry, knowing that whatever there was about me that made men want to punish me had hurt this man who had never done anything but care for me. Kane pulled me close and held me, whispering, “Are you hurt? Don’t cry.” “I’m not hurt.” He slid my blood matted wig from my head and smiled. “Good. And I don’t want to see you in this again. You’re beautiful just the way you are.” His kindness made me feel worse, and the tears rolled down my cheeks. “Maybe now no one will want to hurt me looking like this.” “Is that what you think? That you did something to deserve that pig’s hands on you?” I nodded. “It must be my fault. Nearly every man I’ve ever been with has hurt me. That’s not a coincidence.” Kane kissed me tenderly and whispered against my lips, “It’s not your fault. Never forget that.” Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I couldn’t help but think he was wrong. “Now I’ve hurt the only man who never did anything but protect me. I can’t stand the idea that you’ll suffer because of me.” “Shhh. The only suffering I’m feeling is seeing you like this. Let’s get you out of these bloodstained clothes and cleaned up.” I watched him undress me, so careful as he gently tugged my white dress off my shoulders and down my body. A look of horror covered his face and I looked down to see some blood had seeped through the fabric from where he’d held me leaving a handprint of pale red on my skin. He stared at it and hanging his head, said quietly, “I’m sorry, angel. I’m no good for you.” “No! Please don’t say that. You protected me.” “I didn’t mean to get you involved in my problems. I’m sorry, Abbi.” “Your problems are my problems, Kane. Don’t say protecting me is a problem.” “I couldn’t think of anything but hurting him when I saw him put his hands on you. I wanted to kill him. I could have. I didn’t want to stop hitting him, even when Cash and Stefan were pulling me off him. I’m not sorry for what I did. I’m just sorry it’s touched you.” “It’s a little blood. Some soap and water and I’ll be just fine.” He kissed me like my lips held some release from all the ugliness of the past few hours, and for a few minutes I forgot about everything that could happen at any minute. Taking my hand, he led me to the shower and cleaned every inch of me like I was something precious to him. His silence soothed me, unlike the first night when I so desperately wished for him to say more. Now I didn’t need to hear him say the words. I felt them in his touch each time he caressed my body to clean the terrible events of the night from me. When he finished, he smoothed my hair off my face with a towel and looked into my eyes. “Angel, no matter what, I love you.” I heard a knocking downstairs on the front door and for the first time since I’d met him, worry flashed in Kane’s eyes. He covered me in a bath towel and wrapped one around his hips as I followed him into the bedroom. “Don’t answer that. Please.” “It can’t be put off. Get dressed and come downstairs.” I hurried myself into one of his T-shirts and a pair of my shorts and took the stairs two at a time to find him standing in the living room with Cash. His eyes had that same worried look as Kane’s. Taking a seat next to him on the couch, we listened to his half-brother update us on Jethro’s condition and what Mason planned to do. “Jethro’s awake, but he’s in bad shape. You really hurt him. Mason’s not really in a talking mood, but

from what I gathered, he’s not going to be easily placated.” “What does that mean?” I asked as I squeezed Kane’s hand tightly, afraid if I let go I’d lose him. “Because he survived, they won’t do anything right? I mean, I know from when Aaron hit me once and I called the cops, they wouldn’t do anything because he said he didn’t do it, even though it happened in our house. So it’ll be okay, right?” Kane turned to look at me and shook his head. “No. His being awake is better than if I’d beaten him to death, but I’m not going to avoid charges.” I looked up at Cash hoping to hear him say something different, but he just nodded. “Kane’s right. It’s a sad truth that two men fighting gets more attention from the law than a man hitting a woman.” “But he was defending me. Doesn’t that matter?” Cash didn’t answer. I saw by the look on Kane’s face that it didn’t. “No,” he said quietly. “Not really.” “I’m going to talk to Mason again in the morning and hopefully I can convince him money can make this go away. He’s a councilman, but the man loves money more than justice and the law. I just wanted to stop by to let you know and make sure you’re okay, Abbi. I’m sorry this happened. I didn’t know what kind of person Jethro was when I left him with you.” “I understand. I don’t blame you, Cash.” Another knock on the door made my heart stop for a moment, and we all turned to see two cops standing on the porch. My emotions overwhelmed me as Kane stood from the couch. Reaching up to grab his hand again, I cried, “No, don’t. Don’t go.” “Don’t worry. Just run upstairs and get me some clothes so I don’t look like I belong on some episode of Cops, okay?” I didn’t want to leave that room just in case he let them in and they took him away before I could get back, so I ran as fast as I could up the stairs and grabbed a pair of black pants, a grey long sleeved shirt, and his boots he always wore and ran back to find the police standing in my living room. Everything got confused for me as they explained why they were there and that he’d have to go with them. Kane took his clothes and said something as he dressed, but nothing seemed to make any sense. All I knew was that his leaving scared me to death. He left his boots unlaced, and stepping toward me, took my face in his hands. “Cash will make sure you’re okay. I won’t be gone for long. Don’t worry, angel. I’ll be okay.” The tears rolled down my cheeks as he spoke because I knew he was saying goodbye. “Don’t leave. Please don’t! You were only protecting me.” I turned to look at the cops and tried to plead his case. “He was protecting me from being hurt. He doesn’t deserve this. Don’t take him away.” The police stood stone-faced as Kane turned my face back toward him. “Abbi, listen to me. I won’t be gone for long. It will be okay. I promise it will. I love you, angel. Don’t worry. Just promise me you’ll be here when I get back.” “I’ll be here,” I sobbed. “I love you. I’m sorry.” He kissed me and whispered against my lips, “Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.” Then he turned and silently held his hands out in front of him for the policeman to close the handcuffs around his wrists. I listened to one of the men recite those words I’d heard so many times on cop shows, but now each right he mentioned seemed so important. “…You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.” He hung his head and nodded to Cash as they walked him out, “Take care of her until I get back.” “I’ll have Jessup on it first thing, Kane,” Cash said just before the screen door slammed closed and Kane was taken away.

My legs buckled underneath me, and I collapsed onto the couch, unable to stand I felt so sick. Closing my eyes, I tried to block out the image of the man I loved being taken away to jail because of me, but it wouldn’t go away no matter how much I tried. Cash sat down next to me and gently put his arm around me, pulling me close as I cried uncontrollably. “We won’t let him stay away, Abbi. I promise. Stefan and I will make sure he comes home as soon as possible. For now, you can stay with Olivia and me so you aren’t alone in this house.” I shook my head against his shoulder as I continued to sob. “No. This is the house he gave me. I won’t leave until he comes back. I need to be here when he comes back.” Cash didn’t argue with me, likely because he knew disagreeing with a hysterical woman was a useless idea. I promised I’d call him day or night if I needed anything, but all I needed was Kane back home with me again. I took Angel to bed with me and cried myself to sleep thinking of the man I loved spending the night in jail. I couldn’t just sit back and hope Cash could convince the councilman to help Kane. He’d gotten in trouble because of me. I had to do something.

* STRAIGHTENING OLIVIA’S SUNDRESS IN THE glass window outside Councilman Jennings’ office, I took a deep breath and told myself I could do this. I needed to do whatever it took to help Kane. He’d protected me over and over. The least I could do was try to convince Jethro’s brother to see what Kane had done was all for me and not because he was a bad man. I knocked on the door and heard him yell for me to come in. Steadying myself, I pushed the door open a crack and stuck my head in. “Mr. Jennings, may I speak to you?” “Please come in. I’m always available for my constituents.” I stepped into his office and instantly felt unnerved by the resemblance between Mason Jennings and his brother. The same slicked back hair, the same greasy look that screamed corrupt man. “I’m not exactly here as a constituent. My name is Abigail Linde. I work at Club X as a dancer. Kane is my boyfriend.” In a far chillier voice than when he thought I was there as a simple voter, he said, “I see.” “I only ask for a few minutes of your time. I was the dancer in your brother’s fantasy room last night.” He scanned my face and body and narrowed his eyes to slits. “You look very different now.” Tugging on the ends of my hair, I lowered my gaze. “I wear a costume and wig for work.” “What can I do for you, Abigail?” He extended his hand for me to sit, and I gave him my nicest smile. “Please call me Abbi. How is Jethro feeling?” “Better, thank you. I appreciate you asking.” “I know you probably think that Kane is a bad man for what happened, but he was just protecting me because he thought I was being hurt. He’s a good person. Cash and Stefan are too. I know your brother got hurt, but if there was any way to make up for what happened without Kane having to go to jail, I really hope you’ll consider it.” “I believe the case has already begun to move through the court system. I’m not sure what I could do, even if I wanted to. Kane’s attack was vicious. I’m not sure anything can make up for that.” Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I needed to stay strong. “There has to be something I can do. He was just trying to protect me. Kane would never hurt someone without reason. I know your brother probably meant no harm either. It was all a horrible misunderstanding.”

Mason Jennings stared at me with a look that I knew all too well. Like his brother, he wasn’t above treating women like dirt, and I saw in his eyes that he’d already thought of something I’d be able to do for him to make this all go away. “You seem like a determined young lady, Abbi. Kane is lucky to have such an advocate in his corner. You remind me of someone I once knew, in fact. I’ll tell you what. My brother has a small bar he’d love to have you work at. No dancing. Just bartending, but if he had someone like you behind the bar for his patrons, I’m sure he could forget the unfortunate events of last night.” Bartend for Jethro, the man who thought grabbing at me had been perfectly fine? The man who had created all this mess? My stomach tightened at the thought of his hands on me every night, but maybe if he thought he’d get beaten again if he misbehaved he might not make the same mistake twice. It didn’t matter if he did as long as Kane stayed out of jail. “I’d be happy to work at Jethro’s bar, but I need your word that nothing will happen to Kane.” “You have my word, Abbi. I’ll see to it. However, I don’t see him agreeing to your working anywhere but Club X.” I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “Let me handle that. If anyone can convince him, it’s me.” Mason stood and walked behind me as I made my way to the door, his hand pressed to my lower back and making me cringe. I stopped and smiled, hoping my disgust for him and his plan wasn’t as obvious as it felt. “You’ve been a pleasant surprise for me today, Abbi. Thank you. Good luck with your task. It’s sure to not be an easy one.” I left his office to hurry home hoping that the lawyer Cash had mentioned the night before had been successful in getting Kane released. He’d only been away one night and already I felt alone and empty inside. I didn’t want to feel this way ever again. If Cash could get him out of jail, I would do what Mason Jennings wanted to keep him out. Kane deserved to have someone fight for him, no matter what it took.

Chapter Sixteen

Kane AFTER CASH AND JESSUP POSTED my bail, I could think of only one thing—getting back to Abbi. The sad look on her face had been too much for me as they led me out of the house, and I had to look away or I’d have done something stupid and made the situation worse. I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t sorry for what I’d done, but now that I had to pay for my crime, I saw that in my attempt to protect her I’d hurt her. If I had to spend years in jail, I’d continue hurting her. I hadn’t meant that to happen, but now that it had, I needed to do anything I could to make things better. I’d told Cash whatever it took and however much it cost, I had to stay out for Abbi. I had millions and it could all be Jethro’s if that’s what he wanted. Even if it took every cent I’d ever made at Club X, I didn’t care. As long as I was free and with her. I bounded up the front stairs and stopped short as my hand touched the door handle. What if Abbi couldn’t forgive me for what I’d done? She’d spent years with men who hurt her with their hands. How different was I from them? Either way, we’d all hurt her. Slowly, I opened the door to see her standing in the living room with Angel in her arms, as if both of them had been there all night waiting for me. Her smile beamed her happiness, and she began to softly cry. “I missed you so much. Cash told me you were out. Are you okay?” She put the kitten down on the floor and wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. The feel of her body next to mine made everything I’d gone through fade away, and now all I knew was the happiness I always felt when she was in my arms. “I’m fine. I thought about you alone here all night and hated that I’d fucked up so badly. Cash said you wouldn’t go with him last night. Why?” Abbi squeezed me tightly and shook her head. “This is our home. I couldn’t leave. I belong here with you. I had to make sure I was here when you came back.” I smoothed my hand over her hair and pressed my cheek to the top of head. “I’m sorry, angel. I fucked everything up and now we have to deal with the consequences. I should have never put you in that room with him. It was stupid.” “Shhh. I don’t want to think about what we’ll have to do now. I just want to hold you and feel you next to me.” Tilting her head back, I kissed her lips after missing her like I’d never missed anyone before. “I love you, Abbi. I promise when this is all over I’ll make it up to you, if you’re still with me.” “I’m not going anywhere. There’s no one else in this world who’s shown me love like you have, Kane. You got in trouble because you wanted to protect me. How could I leave you after that?” “I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I’m not going to lie. I’m probably going to do time, unless we can find another way out of this. I told Cash I’m willing to give Mason and his brother every last dime I have, so hopefully a few million can make this go away.” “I don’t want you to worry about this, Kane. You were trying to help someone, so I believe it will all work out. Have faith.” Chuckling, I smiled at her mention of faith. I’d never had much belief in faith in anything—not people,

not religion, nothing. But Abbi made me want to believe. Whatever I thought about faith, I believed her. From the moment I first saw her, I wanted to be the kind of man who deserved her. I wanted to protect and care for her and erase all the ugliness she’d seen. But now with one stupid mistake, any future I hoped to have with her was in danger. If only I hadn’t lost my temper and fallen back into what I’d always been. A monster. “I have faith in you, angel. Everything else in this world, no. But you make me believe.” “Then believe in me because I know we’ll be okay.” As she pulled me into the kitchen to feed me after my night in jail, I couldn’t help but admire how well she was handling everything that happened. I’d left her crying, and little over half a day later, she seemed able to be strong enough for both of us. She never ceased to surprise me with how tough she actually was. So gentle and kind, Abbi had a survivor streak in her I loved. She cleared the table of all the dirty dishes and stood at the sink with her back to me. “I would do anything to make sure you’re happy. You know that, Kane, don’t you?” Her shoulders hunched slightly as she spoke, and a spike of regret ran through me for what I’d done. I stood and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her to me. “You make me happy just as you are. You don’t have to do anything else.” Turning in my hold, she looked up at me and I saw something in her eyes. Fear. “I would, though. I would do anything to make sure you were happy.” I pressed my forehead to hers and confessed what I worried about as I sat in that jail cell all night. “Are you afraid of me now?” She shook her head, but I knew the look of fear and I saw it in her eyes. “Angel, I would give my life for yours. Do you know that?” “I know. And I would give mine for yours, Kane.” I kissed her, loving the taste of her lips after a night away, and whispered against them, “Don’t say that. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to give up anything for me.” Tears filled her eyes. “I couldn’t think of anything last night but you stuck in jail because of me. Tell me to go away and I will. Then whatever it is that’s inside me that makes men want to hurt me will be gone from your life.” Her words made my chest feel like someone was pressing down on it hard. “Don’t say that, angel. You aren’t the reason that fuck did what he did and I reacted the way I did.” She cradled my face in her hands and frowned. “You aren’t like him, Kane. Don’t mention the two of you in the same way.” Whether I was as bad as Jethro didn’t matter. I knew what I was and I couldn’t pretend any differently. “I told you the first night we made love you should leave, but now I can’t bear to think of you not in my life. My demons are still inside me, though, Abbi. I can’t change that.” “I’m not afraid of them. The only thing I’m afraid of is not having you in my life. I can take anything else your demons want to do to me, but not that.” I took her by the hand and led her upstairs to our bedroom. Abbi sat on the bed quietly watching me undress to shower. I didn’t want her touched by my night in jail any more than she had to be. We said nothing because there was nothing more to say. I was who I was, and she’d accepted me. The hot water streamed over me, but it couldn’t take away the truth of what I’d done. I was home for now, but how long that would last I had no idea. Jessup had warned me that some jail time was likely because of my past record. The thought of my rage hurting Abbi for months or years made my heart ache.

Hanging my head, I sighed at the pain of missing her already. “Kane, are you okay?” I looked up to see Abbi standing on the other side of the glass shower door just like she had that first morning after I’d taken her back to my apartment. Choking back the mix of regret and sadness I felt just thinking about leaving her, I nodded. “I’m fine.” She opened the door and stepped in. “You’re torturing yourself over this, Kane. Don’t.” I didn’t know what to say to that. Only one other person had ever made me regret who I was, and I couldn’t bear thinking of Abbi facing the same fate as her. Her hands held my face, and she looked up at me with those blue eyes so sweet that she could have asked for anything in the world and I would have done anything to give it to her. “I love you. I hate seeing you so torn up over this. You don’t believe things are going to work out, but I know they will.” “I love you, angel. I want to believe. I do. But that’s never been a strong part of my life.” Abbi stepped under the water and kissed me. “I believe, so I want you to believe too.” Pushing her hair back, I gazed down into that beautiful face that had enchanted me from the first night I met her and smiled in spite of my fear that someday soon I’d be locked up without her and the sweetness she brought to my life. I kissed her as I silently begged for forgiveness, hoping whatever she believed in would let me stay with her. “DO YOU REMEMBER THAT FIRST night when you brought me back to your apartment at the club? I’ve wondered since then why you have DO NO HARM tattooed there right below your belly button.” I dried my hair with a towel and cracked my neck. Throwing the towel on top of the hamper, I sat down on the bed next to her and leaned back onto my elbows. She turned to face me and stared down at the tattoo. “If it’s too painful to talk about, that’s okay. I was just curious.” Taking a deep breath in, I closed my eyes and thought about the night I’d gotten that tattooed on my body. “It was one of my first nights out of jail and I found out Holly had taken her own life. Her letters to me had gotten darker and darker as time went on, and then finally they’d stopped, but I was helpless to do anything from in there. The memory of what that man had done to her had tortured her until she couldn’t take it anymore, and I wasn’t there to be strong for her. She turned to drugs to erase the pain, and then finally one day, they took her away.” Abbi leaned over and kissed me softly on the cheek. “You don’t have to go any further.” “Do you know that there wasn’t a day when I was growing up that I didn’t hear my mother tell me why I was named Kane? She used to tell me that I was meant to hurt. That hurting was who I was.” A look of sadness settled into her face, and Abbi quietly said, “That’s not true. I don’t think you’re meant to hurt others.” “Maybe she meant I was supposed to hurt. I don’t know. I never asked. Even as she lay dying in that hospital bed, the only thing that brought a smile to her face was telling me I was meant to hurt.” “I can’t stand to see you like this, Kane. You’ve never been anything but caring and protective of me. How can anyone say you’re meant to hurt? People are meant to love, not hurt one another.” “Maybe some of us can’t do anything else but hurt—others and ourselves,” I said as I thought about the reality of my life. “I don’t believe that. You’re a good man. You got that tattoo because you don’t want to hurt people. I

don’t know what these demons are inside you, but I believe you fight them with everything in you. If you didn’t, you’d hurt me too, and you don’t.” I pulled her on top of me and held her close, feeling her heartbeat against me. “What I did last night hurt you, and I’m sorry. I let my demons run loose, and that’s what happens.” Abbi softly placed her finger up to my lips. “Shhh. No more about that. For now, I don’t want to think about anything that happened. All I want to do is feel you inside me as you show me how much you love me.” My hands ached to touch her, to cup her beautiful breasts in my palms and squeeze those dark pink nipples between my thumbs and forefinger. I slid my hands down her soft back and gripped her ass hard in my hands. “Stay with me, no matter what I do.” “I’m not going anywhere, Kane.” For the first time with her, I didn’t hold back. She clung to my neck and with one sharp thrust I filled her. Her cunt was hot and wet, and I couldn’t get enough of her. I’d have given anything to just get lost in her forever. Her body met mine with each time I pushed into her as my demons whispered, “She’s not frightened. Show her why she should be.” But I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I wanted what Abbi gave me. I wanted to love. Sliding out of her, I rolled her onto her back and slowly planted kisses down her body, loving the look of ecstasy in her eyes. With my thumbs, I spread her open and ran my tongue over her delicate skin to her clit, swollen and waiting for attention. Abbi moaned softly above me and quietly begged for me to give her what she needed. “Oh, God… right there. Oh, that’s it…” I kept my eyes focused on her and sucked her clit gently into my mouth, flicking the tip of my tongue against her silky skin. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, and I watched as her expression softened as my mouth inched her toward release. Lifting my head from between her legs, I ran a finger down her wet slit, adding another as I reached her entrance. Her hands urged me back to where I’d been, but instead I slid two fingers into her, curling them against the tender skin of her willing cunt. “You’re so wet,” I whispered against her body and slowly pumped my fingers in and out of her, loving the sound of her moans. She was close, and I knew all it would take to send her over that delicious edge would be a few more deliberate drags of my tongue over her clit. She pulled me by the back of my head to take her to that place, and a few seconds later her orgasm exploded inside her. Dragging her fingernails across my scalp, she closed her legs around my head and rode my mouth in that erotic way that never failed to thrill me. When her thighs finally stopped quivering, I sat back on my heels and licked my lips to savor the taste of her as she grinned sweetly up at me. “You look beautiful lying there like that.” “Like some boneless creature totally satisfied by an incredibly hot man she loves?” she said with a giggle. “Exactly, except that man loves her too.”

* I SHOWED UP TO THE weekly meeting with Cash and Stefan late, but as far as I was concerned, I had an excuse—spending time with Abbi before the shit hit the fan. It hadn’t yet, which made me wonder what

was going on in the D.A.’s office since I should have heard something by now. Every day I woke up expecting to hear something from Jessup, but he’d heard nothing and we’d taken the position that no news was good news. “Nice to see you again, big brother,” Stefan teased as I sat down next to him. “We were wondering if you’d ever show your face again or if you planned on spending the rest of your days playing house with Abbi.” “I would if I could, but then who would run our little funhouse upstairs?” I joked as I folded my hands behind my head. “Any news from Jessup?” Cash asked with concern in his voice. “It’s been over a week. Long enough he should have heard something.” I shook my head, as baffled as he was. “No. Nothing yet. I don’t get it either. Have you talked to Mason?” “No. I’ve called a few times, but his secretary always takes a message and he hasn’t gotten back to me. I don’t like that.” I sighed and blew the air out slowly. I didn’t like Mason’s behavior either. Stefan jabbed me in the arm. “Let’s call him now. Enough fucking around with these two. If he’s going to try and bury us, then let’s hear it from him instead of playing these fucking cat and mouse games.” Turning to look at Stefan, I had to admit he’d really changed from the selfish younger brother who irritated me to no end to someone I knew had my back. It was a nice change. Cash seemed less impressed with this new Stefan. “This is a delicate matter. We need to tread carefully.” “Talk about shit we’re not doing. Cash, this guy thinks he has us by the balls. We need to show him and that brother of his that not only isn’t Kane going to jail for a simple bar fight but that Jethro asshole should consider himself lucky Kane didn’t fuck him up more for messing with Abbi.” “Thanks, Stefan,” I said in near shock. “We’re brothers, Kane. When someone fucks with one of us or the women we love, they fuck with all of us. Right, Cash?” We both turned to face him, and he sat with his mouth hung open in similar amazement at Stefan’s brotherly behavior. “Okay, maybe you’re right. I might have been playing this too cautious. It’s up to you, though, Kane. You’re the one who has to pay in the end if this is a mistake.” The real fear that stirring up the hornet’s nest might cause me to have to leave Abbi sooner than I ever wanted to raced through me, but I couldn’t just sit around and wait to find out my fate. “Do it,” I said, silently hoping that it wouldn’t be just another mistake I’d made. While I watched Cash dial Mason’s number, Stefan said quietly, “Shay told me to say hi. She’s worried about you with this. I told her not to worry. If anyone can handle this kind of thing, it’s you. But when all this bullshit is over, she’d love it if you and Abbi would come over for dinner when she gets back and settled in.” “I have no idea how you got that woman, Stef, but she’s done you a world of good. I can only hope Abbi can do that with me.” “I’ll take that as a yes for dinner,” he said with a laugh. “And don’t worry about this.” “Mason, do you mind if I put you on speaker? Kane and Stefan are here and I’d like them to hear what you have to say.” Cash put the conversation on speaker and put down the phone. “Okay, would you mind repeating what you just said?” “Gentlemen, as I just told Cash, my brother is doing much better and has decided not to press charges. I’ve already set the wheels in motion so the D.A. won’t be pursuing this. You did beat him up pretty well,

Kane, so I don’t think bumping up the monthly payments to twenty-five grand is out of line. If we’re all in agreement with this, I say we put this ugly business behind us and continue with what has been a very successful business relationship on both sides, don’t you agree?” You could have heard a pin drop as we all sat there staring at the phone. Mason didn’t sound like he was joking, but charges dropped and no time whatsoever for me? It sounded too good to be true. Stefan looked at me with big eyes, and Cash mouthed, “Take it.” How could I say no? I’d make up the difference in Mason’s monthly cost with my own money so my brothers wouldn’t be hurt by my mistake. “Okay, Mason. It’s a deal.” The phone stayed silent for a moment, but then he answered, “Great! Cash, I’ll call you later this week and we can iron out the money details. Have a good day, gentlemen.” Cash quickly picked up the phone to express his concern for Jethro’s health, but in seconds he hung up and shook his head in disbelief. “I wish I could take credit for what happened there, but I don’t think it was me. I have no idea how that came about, though.” “Always looking a gift horse in the mouth,” Stefan said. “Who cares how it happened? All that matters is Kane is in the clear and we only have to pay five grand more a month.” “I’ll pay that myself,” I said, still not sure why Mason and his brother had decided not to do everything in their power to make sure I saw jail time. “You two shouldn’t suffer for my mistake. I’m sorry about all this. I thought I’d changed, but when I saw that fuck’s hands on Abbi, I lost it. I should have found another way to handle things, though. For that, I’m sorry.” Cash nodded, but Stefan refused to agree. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Kane. If someone put their hands on Shay, I’d tear their fucking limbs off. I’m sure even Cash with his three-piece suits and business manners there wouldn’t be all about talking to some guy who was manhandling Olivia. This place can be rough, and we’re supposed to protect them.” Once again, my younger brother had stunned me with his new attitude. “Thanks, Stefan.” “I’m sure Abbi will be thrilled to hear the news. I don’t see any reason we can’t have the rest of our meeting tomorrow, so why don’t you go tell her?” Cash offered. “Samson can run the top floors for another night. Go celebrate.” “I think I’ll take you up on that.” “Good. Tell Abbi we said hi and we look forward to seeing her back here again too,” Cash said with a smile. “And at the wedding.” In all the hassle of my beating Jethro and facing prison, I’d forgotten about Cash and Olivia’s wedding. “I’m sorry this all happened so close to your big day, Cash. I didn’t mean for any of this to end up causing so much trouble.” “Don’t worry, Kane. Olivia and I are just happy you’re not going to be hearing about our wedding through prison bars.” “Me too because if I have to get dressed up in a tux, so do you,” Stefan chimed in. “So if you need to put the beatdown on someone else, wait until after the wedding, if possible. Olivia will never forgive us if Cash doesn’t have all his groomsmen.” “Got it.” I turned to walk away and stopped, needing to say more than just thank you. “You guys have been really great through all this. I know we’ve all worked together here, but it wasn’t always that way outside the club. I know that was mostly because of me, but when I needed you both, you were there. I won’t forget that.” Cash and Stefan nodded. “You know what Stefan always says. We’re brothers, Kane. Not by the same mother, but we all have our father’s blood. That means something. You stood by me, and when I couldn’t

see the truth about Olivia, you could.” “And you were right there to give me advice when I was screwing things up royally with Shay. This is what brothers do. We bust balls, but when push comes to shove, we back each other up.” “Well, thanks. I won’t forget this.” I thought back to all those years growing up when my mother worked every day to poison me against Cash and Stefan. All that time I could have had brothers instead of fake enemies. That was all in the past now. For the first time in my life, I felt like I finally had family and love around me. I could get used to it.

Chapter Seventeen

Abbi STANDING AT THE KITCHEN SINK, I felt Kane press up against my back and whisper, “I have good news.” I turned around with wet hands and looked up into his blue eyes to see all the worry from the past few days gone from them. “What? Tell me!” He leaned around me to shut off the water and nuzzled my neck. “I have the night off from work and so do you. And Mason is making sure all the charges are dropped. I don’t know what happened, but I’m guessing I have a guardian angel watching over me.” I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him close. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Kane! I knew it would work out.” “You were right. I believed in what you said and it all turned out okay. He wants more money each month, but I’ll pay that so Cash and Stefan don’t have to suffer for what I did.” “Is it a lot?” I wondered, curious to know how much he planned to make Kane suffer in that way. Kane shook his head. “No. It wouldn’t matter if he wanted every cent I have. I’d pay it if it meant getting to stay with you.” I held him close to me, loving his devotion and hoping he’d understand when he found out what I’d done. Like him, I’d give anything to have him free. “I have to admit I’m a little surprised he didn’t want anything else. A few grand more a month is a small price to pay for beating that brother of his. He didn’t say he wanted anything more, though.” I looked up into his eyes and smiled. The stress and fear I’d seen in them for days was gone, replaced by that gentleness they always showed when he was around me. “Sounds like he’s all about the money. Those kind of people are the easiest to deal with. They always have a price.” “Enough talk about them. I think I want to lay in bed all night with you, only getting up to get food and drink. How does that sound?” How it sounded was perfect. The problem was I had to be at Jethro’s bar by nine and with Kane home, there would be no way I’d be able to. As much as I hated lying, I needed to find a way to get out of the house so Gemma could take me to work at his bar. “I heard from Gemma a little while ago. I need to go to her place tonight. She’s feeling bad about how things are going with the new guy.” “I thought they were still in the honeymoon phase,” he said with a smile. “Guess not. I’d planned on staying with her until you got out of work.” He nuzzled my neck and whispered, “I’d rather you stay with me, but if she needs you, I can’t say no. When do you need to leave?” “She’s not picking me up until eight, so we have some time.” Kane lifted his head and flashed me a sexy grin. “Good. I’m going to have to fit in a night’s worth of lovemaking in just a few hours, though.” “I think I can handle that,” I said with a giggle, loving how playful he was now that he’d gotten the good news that I’d helped make happen. Lifting me into his arms, he kissed me and I wrapped my legs around his waist so he could carry me upstairs to the bedroom. We’d christened every room in the house already, so I joked as he laid me onto

the bed, “I guess tonight’s a bedroom night.” He kept his gaze on me as he slid out of his shirt. Licking his lips, he grinned. “You say that like it’s boring.” “Not at all,” I answered as I watched him slip off his pants and stand at the edge of the bed naked in front of me with his cock getting harder by the moment. “I don’t think any man with a cock piercing can be called boring, Kane.” He flicked his tongue over his lower lip. “We’ll get to that later. Right now, I had something else in mind.” Still fully clothed, I lay back and he slowly removed my shirt and shorts, kissing a path from my neck to my breasts. He slid his hands behind my back and removed my bra, tossing it to the side before he turned to take one excited nipple into his mouth. Flicking his tongue over the taut skin, he sent strings of need weaving through me straight to my core. I ran my hands over his short black hair, holding him to me as he gently bit down on my tender skin. Even now, with his teeth marking me, Kane was gentle. I knew somewhere inside his demons could make that change at any moment, but that fact didn’t frighten me. Only the threat of losing him frightened me, but tonight I’d be at Jethro’s bar to make sure that didn’t happen. If Kane could protect me, I could do the same for him. “Angel, everything all right?” I looked down at him and nodded. “I’m all right.” “Did I do something to scare you? I didn’t mean to hurt you, if I did.” “No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” I cradled his face in my hands. “It’s perfect, like always.” Kane slid up my body to kiss my lips, softly and sweetly showing me he loved me as he whispered, “I would never hurt you intentionally, Abbi.” “You never hurt me, Kane. From the moment you came down to see me behind the bar that night, you’ve been kinder than any man I’ve ever met. The rest of the world may see the cold man, but I never do.” “I don’t care about the rest of the world when I’m with you. All I care about is that you’re happy. Tell me you’re happy, angel, so while you’re at Gemma’s tonight I can be happy without you.” Never before had anyone been so able to make my heart ache with just words. I wanted to tell him the truth—that I had made that deal with Mason Jennings because I loved him and would do anything to keep him safe. I couldn’t, though. He’d never let me go there to work for that man and then that awful councilman and his disgusting brother would make sure he went to jail. I couldn’t let that happen. For the first time in my life, I had a man who loved and protected me. That kind of man was worth any risk to keep. “I love you, Kane. I would do anything to make you happy. I’ve never felt so loved and protected in my life, and that’s all because of you.” “I swear I will never let anyone hurt you again. Never.” Kissing him, I ran my hands over his muscular back and whispered in his ear, “I know, and I won’t let anyone hurt you either.” He made a contented sigh and slowly slid into me, stretching my body to accommodate his cock. With every inch, I felt those metal studs drag along my tender skin, like the sweetest torture I never wanted to end. When we were completely joined, I wrapped my legs around his waist and tilted my hips to feel him against my most sensitive spot. “You feel so fucking good, angel. Like your body was made for my cock.” Rearing back, he left me empty and desperate to feel him fill me again. Scratching my nails down his

back, I pushed my hands against his firm ass and whimpered, “Come back to me. I want you so much.” Kane thrust his hips forward and buried himself inside me with a low groan. When he was like this— powerful and sensual—I wouldn’t have been able to deny him anything. I adored him. His masculine smell. His throaty voice whispering sexy words as he fucked me. How his body brought me to heights of ecstasy no man had ever even come close to. Those beautiful blue eyes staring down into mine as his every movement aimed to please me. His hands balled into fists in my hair, and he tugged hard, telling me he was close. Pumping into me, he groaned, “I can’t hold back, angel.” “Don’t hold back ever,” I moaned as I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders. “I want all of you, Kane.” He came with a rush, filling me until I was sure I couldn’t take any more of him. His mouth plundered mine, nearly taking my breath away as the first strings of my orgasm wound through my body. He made love to me until the very last tremor subsided and all that was left was the two of us in each other’s arms. “I love you, Abbi. You’re my everything,” he whispered against my cheek as he rolled off me and pulled me close. Resting my head on his chest, I snuggled up against him and listened to his heart slowly return to its normal beat. “And you’re mine. Whatever happens, I want you to always remember that.” Kane said nothing but squeezed me tighter against him. He didn’t know what I planned to do for him later that night, but I just prayed he’d understand when he found out.

* I KISSED KANE GOODBYE AND slammed Gemma’s car door shut, wishing more than anything in the world I didn’t have to leave the man I loved to go work at some place run by a pig. As she drove away, she looked over at me and said, “I still think this is a mistake, Abbi.” “Just drive. I have to do this.” “I just think this has the potential to be really bad. That man already grabbed at you. What are you going to do if he does it again?” I’d thought about that question hundreds of times since I’d agreed to this deal. The answer was simple. Nothing. I couldn’t do a thing if he grabbed me again because if I didn’t make Jethro happy, Kane would go to jail. “I’ll be fine. You know me. I’m much tougher than I look.” She gave me a sideways glance and a tiny smile. “By the way, I like this new look on you. Your hair looks cute.” I instinctively tugged on the bottom of my hair but remembered how much Kane loved my look, even this one. “I got rid of the wig after Kane got blood in it the other night.” “He really fucked that guy up, honey. If he finds out where you’re going on your nights off, he’s going to freak. I wouldn’t want to be that guy when he finds out.” “Gemma, he can’t find out. If he does and something happens, they’ll make him go to jail. I can’t let that happen.” “I have to wonder if there was another way, Abbi. I worry someone’s going to get hurt.” I worried about that too, but I needed to do this. Kane deserved better than being punished because of who I was. Whatever made men want to hurt me, I had to take responsibility and protect the man I loved. “Everything will be fine, Gemma. Just promise me that you won’t say a thing to Kane, no matter what he does. I need you to promise me that.”

She hesitated but finally said in a low voice, “I just don’t want you to get hurt, honey.” “Please promise me you won’t tell Kane. He can’t find out because then he’ll go after Jethro again. Don’t worry, okay?” Gemma and I rode along in silence for the rest of the drive to Jethro’s bar in Bradenton, she likely worrying about what she saw as my latest huge mistake and me praying to God that my new boss would be too afraid to do anything to me in fear that Kane would kill him the next time. She stopped in front of a rundown building with peeling white paint and a boarded up window. Not a good sign. Since he had a councilman for a brother who got all that money Kane and his brothers paid him every month, I expected something better than a dive bar. Suddenly, my decision to work for Jethro seemed like a very bad idea. Dive bars didn’t get the kind of clientele places like Club X did, and they rarely had the kind of security Kane and his men provided either. Gemma stared wide-eyed at the building and then turned to look at me in horror. “Abbi, you can’t do this! Look at this place! No, no, no—” I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her from flailing. “I don’t have a choice, so don’t make this worse, okay? Just be back for two. And don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” “You have your phone, right? I want you to call me if anything happens. I’m not kidding, Abbi. If anything at all happens, you need to call me asap. I’ll be right near my phone all night.” Leaning over, I held her to calm her nerves. “I’ll be fine, sweetie. Remember? I’m tougher than I look.” Gemma hugged me tightly like she didn’t want to let me go. “Please be careful, Abbi. I have a bad feeling about this.” “It’ll be fine. Really. See you at two.” I leaned back and saw the worry etched into her face. I was worried too, but I couldn’t let her know or she’d never let me out of that car. “It’s all good. Two o’clock, okay?” Nodding, she knitted her brows, unable to pretend she was okay with any of this. “I’ll be here. Just remember you get out of there if anything happens.” I lied and promised her I’d call her if I got into trouble, but I knew I couldn’t do that. No matter what Jethro did, I had to deal with it. Kane’s freedom depended on it. THE INSIDE OF JETHRO’S BAR, The Greyhound, looked pretty much like the outside. Dimly lit, it had a feeling like somewhere you knew you weren’t supposed to be. The old wooden bar that greeted customers as they walked through the front door looked like it had seen thousands of bar fights. Scratches, pock marks, and gouges marred the dark wood and made the bar look very much like a dive. The black paint on the walls did a poor job of hiding the years of neglect they’d seen, but at least it probably made the blood splatters harder to see. I took a deep breath in and smelled the disgusting odor of stale nicotine, even though there wasn’t an ashtray anywhere in sight. Looking above my head, I saw the source of the stink, ceiling tiles stained a golden brown from all the cigarette smoke they’d absorbed over time. God, this place was gross, just like its owner. Only a few men sat on ripped vinyl barstools watching some football game on the small TV at the end of the bar, old guys drinking cheap beer on tap from dirty glasses. I didn’t see any women as I looked around, but as I studied my new workplace, I saw Mason come out of a back room. Slightly less disgusting than his brother, he still fit in perfectly in The Greyhound. Unlike when I saw him sitting behind his desk in his councilman’s office in a nice suit and tie, now he wore jeans and a black button down shirt that looked much cheaper. I suspected this was who he really was, no matter what act he

put on for the voters. He approached me and took my hand to shake it. “I’m so glad you decided to come tonight, Abigail. I wasn’t sure you’d show up.” Surprised by the tightness of his handshake, I hurriedly tore my hand from his hold and forced a smile. “I live up to my word, Mr. Jennings. I know you do too. Thank you for that.” “Please, no more Mr. Jennings. Call me Mason. We’re going to be spending time together working here, so I think informality is called for.” “Oh, we are? Where’s your brother?” “Jethro is still on the mend, so until he’s back up on his feet, I’m taking care of the bar.” A sense of relief washed over me. The news of no Jethro to deal with made me feel much better. Mason might look cheap, but as a public official, he’d know that attacking young women would endanger his political career. “I’m glad to hear he’s doing well. Just tell me what you need me to do and we can get started.” “I think for tonight just getting used to the bar will be good enough. It will get busier in a couple hours, so that should give you enough time to get your bearings.” Nodding, I smiled for real this time and turned to make my way to the bar, but Mason’s hand caught my arm. “Oh, and Abigail, while what you’re wearing is nice, you’re going to have to wear something more revealing from now on.” Just the way he said those words, as if I was just a body to be leered at and nothing more, made my stomach drop. Mason stared at me, waiting for my answer, so I quickly said, “Sure. No problem.” I just hoped it wasn’t a sign that everything I feared about working at The Greyhound was beginning to come true. MASON LEFT ME ALONE FOR the rest of the night, and surprisingly, the patrons of Jethro’s bar acted like perfect gentlemen. That they were all nearly three times my age might have been why, but whatever the reason was, they made my first night on the job painless and quite easy. A crowd did come in around ten, so I kept busy for a few hours, but I was always on the lookout for where Mason might be. I saw him speaking to a few men at one of the tables in a dark corner at one point, but when those men left, he returned to the back room. The few patrons left by two o’clock quietly finished their drinks and pushed their glasses toward the inside of the bar before leaving. I cleaned up my area and wiped down the bar, thinking Mason would come out to say goodbye or something, but he never showed his face again. Even when I called his name, I got no response. As much as I dreaded going into the back room to find him, I couldn’t just leave without telling him. Opening the door, I poked my head in and saw him sitting at a table working on his laptop. I’d been so worried about what I’d find that I let out an audible sigh, and he turned to look at me with an expression that instantly made any relief I’d felt disappear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to intrude. I just wanted to tell you that I cleaned up and it’s after two, so I’m going to leave now.” His dark eyes scanned my body from head to toe and back up again before he spoke. “Very nice. I’ll see you again on Sunday, right?” “But state law doesn’t let you serve alcohol on Sundays.” “We don’t, but the bar is open on Sundays, Abigail, so I expect to see you here at nine sharp. Are we clear?” I was anything but clear on what I’d be doing at a bar on a Sunday, but as I hesitated to give my

answer, Mason stood and walked over to stand in front of me, glowering down at me. “That was our agreement, Abigail. You work here and I make sure Kane stays out of jail. I’d hate to see such a pretty girl heartbroken because her boyfriend had to spend time in prison for his violent tendencies.” This man frightened me, but what choice did I have? “No, no. I understand. I’ll be here at nine Sunday. Since I’m not bartending, do I still need to wear different clothes?” Mason gave me a sinister smile. “Yes, definitely. Let’s try something more feminine next time.” “Oh, okay. I’ll be here.” I ran out of The Greyhound, desperate to get away from Mason and that look on his face that told me he was who I should be afraid of, not Jethro.

Chapter Eighteen

Kane I ROLLED OVER AND STRETCHED the sleep from my limbs, loving the feel of Abbi’s warm skin touching mine. Of all the days of the week, I loved Sundays the most because we could stay in bed all day if we wanted to, and nobody and nothing interrupted us. Half-asleep, she curled up against my chest, nuzzling her face in the space between my shoulder and ear. “What time is it?” she mumbled. “Shhh. Go back to sleep,” I whispered, touching my lips to the top of her head. Shimmying against me to find the perfect spot, she moaned softly as I slid my fingertips over the ends of her hair. Even now that the evidence of that asshole ex’s attack on her had faded and her hair had grown in, I still liked to feel the strands so soft against my fingertips. I knew she loved it too. That I had to fight the urge to rip the guy’s fucking head off every time I thought about what he’d done didn’t matter. All that mattered was when I played with her hair it made Abbi happy. Only once before in my life had any person brought me such joy as she did. When she was near me, nothing could diminish my happiness. When she wasn’t, she was all I thought of. I willingly admitted I was obsessed with her and making her the happiest woman on earth. I’d lived alone for over a decade, and I’d planned on spending the rest of my life that way. Some people shouldn’t be around others. They only end up hurting them. I believed that until Abbi showed up in front of me in Cash’s office that night. I’d convinced myself that I’d never want to be close to anyone ever again, but all it took was one look from those gentle blue eyes and I was lost. I didn’t realize how lost until I saw her standing on that stage at The Carousel Club surrounded by all those men ogling her. I felt their eyes on her body and couldn’t leave her standing up there for them. She was too gentle, too sweet. Suddenly, all those years alone evaporated and the need to protect her like I should have protected Holly became my only thought. Abbi stirred in my arms and cooed next to my ear, “I could stay here forever, you know that?” “Me too. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” “Can we?” she asked. “Can we what?” She kissed my neck and squeezed me to her. “Stay here forever.” I heard fear in her voice and eased her off me to look into her eyes. I saw the fear in them too. “What’s wrong, angel?” “Nothing. Why?” “You’re afraid of something. What is it?” “I’m not afraid of anything, Kane. Why would I be? I’m here with you and you take care of me.” Abbi smiled, but there was something underneath her sweet look that troubled me. She was afraid of someone or something. “Is it me? Are you afraid of me?” Just saying those words made me feel like my world was falling away from me. Abbi looked up at me and shook her head. “No! Don’t ever think that.” “I see the fear in your eyes, Abbi. I guess I wouldn’t blame you after what I told you about my past

and what you saw me do to Jethro. I would never hurt you, though. I hope you know that.” “No! I don’t think that at all. Nobody has ever been as kind to me as you. Why would I be frightened of you?” Lowering my head, I said, “Because I’m exactly what that judge said I was all those years ago. Violent. Dangerous. A monster.” Abbi lifted my face so I had no choice but to look at her. Now instead of fear I saw sadness in her eyes. “You’re not a monster, Kane. You hit Jethro to protect me. That judge was wrong.” I took her hands so small compared to mine and cradled them in my palms. “I knew it wasn’t about protecting you after the first time my fist connected with his face. After that, it was about vengeance. That’s the problem, Abbi. I say it’s about protecting you, but it’s about hurting people to make them pay for hurting you. There’s a difference.” She said nothing but looked up at me, searching my face for some answer. I knew what question she wanted to ask. “Did you do that to Aaron?” she asked, her eyes wide in anticipation of my answer. I could have lied. She’d never know. I could have pretended someone else finally gave him what he deserved, but I didn’t. I brought her hands to my lips and kissed them softly before murmuring the truth against her tender skin. “Yes.” “Why? You could have gotten in trouble and then they’d take you away,” she sobbed quietly. Reaching out to touch her, I caught the ends of her hair between my fingertips. “That first night I came back to my rooms and saw you lying there in my bed with your hair all cut off. Then you told me he did that to you, and all I wanted to do was hurt him because he hurt you. I found him at his new apartment and did exactly what I did to Jethro. I knew it was wrong, but I’m not sorry.” Abbi stared at me but said nothing. I knew what she must be thinking. “You probably think I’m that monster now.” She pressed her lips to mine in a kiss that made my heart swell with joy. “Kane, I would never think you’re a monster for that.” “I can’t help that I want to hurt people who hurt you. This is who I am.” Abbi took a deep breath. “Aaron beat me over and over for months. One time I couldn’t see out of my right eye for nearly a week. He tried to strangle me one time because I forgot to buy eggs. He pounded my head into the kitchen wall that time and I blacked out. I woke up alone covered in the raw bacon I was getting ready to cook when he went after me. I don’t care what happens to him. I care about you being taken away, though.” I pulled her close to me and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, angel.” “I can’t live without you, Kane. If they took you away, I don’t know what I’d do.” Stroking her hair, I tried to make her feel better. “Shhh. Nobody’s taking me anywhere. Mason got the charges dropped. I’m staying right here with you.” We lay there with her face buried in my chest as I thought of how real the threat of me leaving had been. For the first time in my life, I wanted to stay somewhere, but my demons had other thoughts. They wanted to make anyone who even touched the woman I loved feel the pain of my fists. Abbi lifted her head and stared up at me. “I want you to promise me something.” Smoothing the stray hairs from her face, I nodded. “Anything.” “Promise me you won’t ever leave. Promise me you won’t do anything to make them take you away.” I knew what she was asking. She wanted me to say I wouldn’t protect her if it meant I might go to jail.

I couldn’t make that promise. “I can’t. If someone hurts the woman I love, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure they can’t do it again, Abbi.” She pushed herself away from me and stood up from the bed. “Then you’re going to make sure they take you away from me! You can’t love me like you say you do and then risk having to leave.” I couldn’t stand the pain in her voice. It was like it had my heart and was squeezing with every word. “I protect the woman I love. I have to. I didn’t do that once and she suffered for it. I won’t let that happen again.” “I’m not her, Kane. I need you with me, not in prison because you wanted to beat the fuck out of some guy because he touched me!” “I can’t change who I am, angel.” “So you don’t care that you’re going to leave me alone if you do that again?” “I fucking care, Abbi. The thought of being without you makes me feel like someone’s ripping my heart out. Don’t think that I don’t care. Don’t ever think that.” Leaning on the bed, she took my hand in hers. “Then don’t do it. Don’t leave me here all alone.” “I can’t fight the demons inside me when someone does something to hurt you. Don’t ask me to. I can’t.” “Baby, what kind of demons are these? How can you talk about them trying to control you when we make love and in the same way talk about them making you hurt people? Do you want to hurt me?” “No. Never. I would never hurt you, Abbi. Never.” She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to sit next to me. “Then what are they?” “I don’t know. They’ve always been inside me. From the minute I met you, they made me want you, even though I worried I’d hurt you. They make me selfish sometimes. Other times they make me feel anger so completely I can’t stop myself from hitting someone.” “They never want you to hit me?” Shaking my head, I said quietly, “No. With you, it’s something different. I can’t explain it. From the first night I saw you, you were all I could think of. I tried, Abbi. I really did. I knew what would happen if I gave in and pursued anything with you. This is why I’ve stayed alone all these years. No woman wants a man who can’t control himself.” Abbi took me in her arms and kissed me. “That’s not true. I want him. I want the man who fights for me, who protects me. I want the man who’s afraid to lose control with me even though I’m not afraid of that.” “I wish you would be afraid, angel, although it wouldn’t make a difference now. You’re inside me, part of me. I couldn’t give you up now even if I had to. It would be like losing an arm or a leg.” “Kane, I love you. I love every part of you, including whatever demons you have inside you. I just want you to promise you won’t do anything to get yourself in trouble over me. Why is that so hard for you?” “Because I didn’t do it for Holly and she paid the ultimate price. I’ll never make that mistake again. If it means I go back to jail, as long as I know I stopped someone from hurting you, I can do whatever time they force me to do. She suffered because of me. I won’t let that happen to you. I love you too much.” She tilted her head back and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Why me? Why did you have to pick me, someone who always seems to make people angry so they want to hurt me? If only you picked a Gemma or an Olivia, none of this would be happening. You’d be happy and never have to worry that someone’s going to do something to make your demons come out.” “I didn’t pick you, angel. You showed up one night and my heart never had a chance.”

“If I never let Gemma talk me into that interview, you’d be safe and happy.” I kissed her forehead and shook my head. “No part of my life at Club X has ever been safe. Every night I run the risk of being led away in handcuffs. And I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t really living. It was more just existing.” “Will it always be like this? I know you don’t like to think about the future, but it’s what makes me happy.” “Then it makes me happy, angel. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. All I know is that I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure every morning you have a reason to give me one of your beautiful smiles and every night you have one of those smiles on your face as you drift off to sleep in my arms.” Abbi was quiet for a long time, but then she said sweetly, “You never talk about your happiness. Why? I want to know what to do to make you happier.” “Just having you by my side makes me the happiest man in the world. I have everything else I could want. Money, possessions, a successful business. Everything people think makes a person happy. But I’d willingly give up all of it as long as I know when I reach down to take your hand in mine it will always be there.” She weaved her fingers through mine and lifted my hand to her lips. “I will always be there to take your hand. Always, Kane.” “Then no matter what happens, we’ll be good.” I believed that, but I knew something was scaring Abbi. I didn’t know what it was, but when I found out, whoever was behind it better hope she didn’t get hurt. ABBI KISSED ME GOODBYE AT seven o’clock and promised to be home as soon as Gemma stopped crying, but I still saw fear in her eyes, no matter how many times she told me she was fine. I wanted to believe she’d told me the truth. My gut told me otherwise, though. I settled in for a night at home with Angel, who seemed content to wrap herself around my right ankle as I sat on the couch to watch TV. Flipping through the channels proved to be a waste of time, and I closed my eyes intending to think about what to surprise Abbi with when she came home. Instead, my mind drifted back in time. “Tell me again how we’re going to move to California and live on the beach. Can we really do it, Kane?” Holly asked as she squeezed my hand tightly in excitement. I pulled her away from her front porch and toward the street. “Shhh. We don’t want anyone to find out or they’ll try to stop us.” “I don’t care what my parents say. Your mother’s okay with you leaving, isn’t she?” “My mother doesn’t care one way or another, but your father will come after me with a bat if he finds out, Holly.” She broke away from my hold and ran down the street giggling, her long brown hair flying behind her. “I don’t care who finds out, Kane Jackson. We’re going to be beach bums and live happily ever after in sunny California!” I caught up with her as we hit the intersection and took her hand in mine. I loved when she was like this—light and sweet to my darkness and anger. Eight months had gone by since that first day I saw her at that ice cream shop, and every day I loved her more than the day before. “Where are you running off to?” I asked with a smile. “I want to take you to see something I found the other day. It’s behind Center Street.”

I followed her to an alleyway that led to where her surprise for me was and saw a Harley parked in front of someone’s house. A black soft tail, it was a beautiful bike just like the one I’d always dreamed of having someday. Since my mother and I were poor, someday would be a long ways off, but I could dream. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “You’d look so good on that bike, Kane. We could ride out cross country on it.” “We could, but I think we’re going to have to find another way.” She gazed up at me with longing in her soft brown eyes. “Someday we’ll have one of those, won’t we?” “Someday, I promise.” I would have promised her I’d take the stars out of the sky for her. All she had to do was ask. Holly gave me something I’d never had before. Love. For that, I’d do anything to make her happy. When we finally left Tampa after she graduated, we’d get married and spend the rest of our lives together. After a life filled with hatred, I’d found the happiness I’d always dreamed of. “Let’s go down to the beach tonight. Melly said they’re having a party near her house.” As much as I didn’t want to spend the night drinking on the beach, I smiled and nodded my agreement. That’s what I was supposed to do—make her happy—so that’s what I did. Her happiness gave me mine. My mind raced through memories of her like a painful movie made just for me. The birthday she got me my lip piercing. The warm summer night in my bedroom when I took her virginity and gave her mine. The feeling of her in my arms. The sound of her laughter. The smell of vanilla in her hair when she cuddled close to me and laid her head on my chest. The taste of her on my lips. I knew how to control this walk down memory lane. I’d done it for years. But tonight my demons had different ideas and the one memory I’d desperately tried to forget came raging back like it was just yesterday. We turned and walked back into the alleyway and got halfway through when I saw four men coming toward us. Without saying a word, I pulled Holly close to me and reached down to hold her hand. She continued to talk about how great it would be if we had that bike when we left, dreaming out loud of the fun we’d have riding off with her arms around me into the sunset to our new life together. The men passed us without a word, but I saw one nudge the man next to him in the side and every muscle in my body tensed. Quickly, I began walking toward the street just half a block away, pulling Holly’s arm to help her catch up with my pace. If we could reach the corner, it wouldn’t just be us against them. I might be able to take two of them, but four never and while I fought off the first two men, the other two could have their hands on Holly. “Where you goin so quickly?” one yelled after us, but I kept walking, whispering to her, “Don’t look back. Just keep walking.” “Kane, what’s happening?” she asked in a terrified voice. “Nothing. Just keep walking.” “Hey, come back here!” I walked faster, but they caught up with us. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out all the money I had. “Take it. It’s all I have. Just let us go.” Holly’s hand shook in terror against mine. I squeezed it gently to let her know I’d protect her no matter what they tried to do. The one who looked the youngest with short hair and wide eyes grabbed the money from my hand,

but the one closest to Holly spoke up and I knew it wasn’t money they wanted. “What’s your name, sweetheart? You’re a pretty thing.” “Please, let us go,” she begged in a terrified voice. “We just want to leave.” He reached out to touch her long brown hair, but she cowered next to me, angering him. Before we could get away, they descended upon us, yanking Holly away from my side. I lunged toward the two men grabbing at her, but two sets of hands pulled me backwards and held me as her cries flooded my ears. “Let me go! Don’t fucking touch her!” I yelled as he held me down on the ground. “We’re gunna do more than just touch her, loverboy.” I screamed threats and thrashed against their hold as I listened to Holly cry and sob my name, but I was powerless to do anything. All I could do was watch as their hands tore at her clothing, ripping her shorts and T-shirt off her body. Then one held her down as the biggest one whipped out his hard dick and began stroking it. The man holding her ripped off her underwear and laughed as he let his friend know, “She’s ready for ya! Go at it!” Holly let out a blood curdling shriek, and as I watched the man lean over her body, I struggled to get free of the hands holding me before he hurt her. Two faces above me grinned and laughed as I watched that man thrust his hips forward. Holly’s cries for me to help never stopped the entire time he raped her. I didn’t know how long I fought against their hold, but at some point they began hitting me to stop me from fighting. It didn’t matter. Nothing they did could drown out the horrible sound of them raping her. By the time he’d finished with her, I could only see out of one eye and my mouth was full of blood. Everything seemed to spin around my head, and I felt a boot kick me in the stomach as they walked away laughing. I slowly pulled myself over to where Holly lay and saw a stream of blood slowly running down over the inside of her thigh. “Holly?” She lay there sobbing as I pulled her close to me, her body heaving against mine. The spinning around me grew darker, and then I felt myself slipping away. I woke with a start, cold sweat running down my face and my hands clenched in rage like they always were when I thought about that night. Quickly, I scrambled to find the time and saw by my watch that I’d only been asleep for a little while. 9:14. I didn’t know why, but something inside me told me I needed to speak to Abbi right at that moment. Grabbing my phone, I called her but her phone just rang until the voicemail kicked in. I tried three more times and got nothing. My mind racing with fear I knew was unreasonable, I dialed Gemma’s number and hers just rang too. They could be watching a movie. Or they could be doing each other’s makeup or whatever else women did when they hung out to get over some guy. I had no idea what they could be doing, but that they weren’t answering their phones bothered me. I tried Abbi’s phone again and got the same result. Gemma’s rang three times and I was about to give up when I heard her say tentatively, “Hello?” “Gemma, it’s Kane. I need to talk to Abbi. Put her on the phone.” “She’s busy right now, but I’ll have her call you as soon as she’s done.” “Now, Gemma. I want to talk to her now.” “She can’t, Kane, but I promise she’ll call you as soon as she can.” Suddenly, my chest felt empty and my mind whirled with a thousand reasons why Abbi couldn’t talk to

me. I knew Gemma. She was lying for her friend. “I’m coming over then.” Before she could give me some excuse, I hung up and grabbed my keys. Gemma’s house wasn’t too far, so I’d be there in a few minutes and find out what the fuck was going on. By the time I pulled up, I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut. My palms were already so damp from gripping the steering wheel so tightly that when I tried to grip Gemma’s front doorknob, my fingers slid right off. Frustrated, I pounded on the door. “Abbi! What’s going on?” I yelled. Gemma flung the door open and stared up at me with fear. “Kane, come in.” “Where’s Abbi? I want to see her.” “She’s not here. Sit down and I’ll explain.” I looked around Gemma’s living room and saw no evidence that Abbi had been there that night. “What the fuck is going on here? Why did she lie to me and say she was coming here?” “She’s got herself into something I don’t think she knows how to get out of. She couldn’t tell you because she didn’t want to risk you getting in trouble. I need you to be calm, okay?” “I need you to tell me what’s going on right the fuck now or this level of calm I’ve got going on is going to vanish fucking quickly, Gemma.” “Please sit down and take a breath. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” I did as she asked and tried to keep it together, even though I was this close to exploding. “All right. I’m sitting. Now tell me what’s going on and where Abbi is.” “She’s at a bar called The Greyhound. She’s bartending there.” “Why?” She had no reason to bartend anywhere. She made enough money to live on at my club, and I took care of everything else. Why would she need to bartend at some bar named The Greyhound? “She made a deal so you’d stay out of jail. The Greyhound is that guy’s bar, the one you beat up. Whenever she has a night off from the club, they expect her to bartend there. She had her first shift the other night and she said everything was fine. The guy wasn’t even there. Only his brother was, the councilman? It’s a dive bar, but she doesn’t think it’ll be bad and if it keeps you out of jail, she’s willing to do it.” My heartbeat pounded in my ears as I listened to Gemma explain how the woman I loved was sneaking off to bartend at some dive bar to keep me safe. Everything inside me said to go to her and take her out of that place. “So this is why Mason was so willing to get the charges dropped. How could you let her go there, Gemma? Jesus Christ, that guy grabbed her when she was dancing. What made you think he wouldn’t do that again?” I looked at Gemma in disgust as she tried to excuse her behavior. “I couldn’t stop her, Kane. She would have found a way there with or without my help. I wanted to make sure I knew where the place was so I could help if she got into trouble. She’s doing this because she loves you and is terrified of losing you. I couldn’t say no.” Then it dawned on me. It was Sunday. State law didn’t allow alcohol served in bars and clubs on Sunday. “Why is she there tonight? Bars aren’t allowed to be open on Sunday.” Gemma’s eyes flashed her fear. “I don’t know. I didn’t realize bars couldn’t serve on Sundays. We have to get there in case something bad is happening, Kane!” “You’ve already done enough. I’ll go by myself.” I turned to leave, but Gemma grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me go. “Please, Kane! I need to know

she’s okay.” I didn’t have time to argue with her. Shrugging, I yanked my arm from her grip and barked, “Fine. Let’s go.” All that ran through my head as I stormed out to my car was God help Mason and Jethro if Abbi was hurt. This time, there’d be no one who could stop me.

Chapter Nineteen

Abbi I PUSHED OPEN THE FRONT door of The Greyhound to find the bar dark and not a soul inside. The door had been unlocked and Mason had been very clear about how he expected me to be here tonight, so I held out my cell phone in front of me to light my way through the building, wondering why he’d demand I show up if the bar wasn’t even open. My phone showed five missed calls, and as I swiped the screen, I saw Kane had called me four times and Gemma had called me right after him. Something was wrong. I quickly dialed her number and continued to walk toward the bar with my one hand out in front of me to feel my way. She answered her phone on the first ring, and instantly I heard the panic in her voice. “Abbi, are you okay?” “I’m fine. There doesn’t seem to be anyone here. It’s a Sunday and Mason said I had to work, but I can’t find him or anyone else. The bar was dark when I walked in. Why did you call?” There was silence for a long moment and then I heard Kane’s voice come through loud and clear, the hurt in it shooting straight to my heart. “Angel, you don’t have to do this. Get out of there now. We’ll be there in a few minutes. I want you to stay on the phone with me and keep talking. Do you understand?” “Oh, Kane, you can’t come here. I have to do this or Mason and Jethro will make sure you go to jail for what you did. Don’t be mad at me. Please. I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. I had to make sure you were safe.” “I love you for that, baby, but there’s no good reason why they’d want you there tonight. The bar can’t open, so whatever you’re doing there isn’t bartending. Get out now and wait in the parking lot, and if they come after you, run as fast as you can and stay on the road. I’m driving there right now. Abbi, do as I say.” I felt the bar beneath my fingertips and stopped walking. “I’m okay, Kane. I have to do this. You protected me, so I have to protect you.” “Angel, get out of there now! Did you hear me? Leave now. We’re almost there.” Something touched my sleeve, and I turned to see Mason looking at me with a stare that instantly made a shiver run down my spine. I stood stunned that he’d suddenly appeared, my brain unable to form words. I heard Kane telling me over and over to get out of there, but Mason took my phone and ended the call. “Time to get to work, Abigail.” “Kane found out and he’s coming here. I told him I was okay, but he’s still coming,” I explained in a shaky voice. “I know when he sees everything’s on the up and up, he’ll be fine. Just give him a chance.” Mason smiled that vicious smile I saw when I was leaving last time and shook his head. “I’ve got something else in mind. Time to go.” He pulled me toward the back room as I struggled to get free of his hold. Nearly frozen in fear, I tried to think of some way to escape, but it was so dark and I couldn’t see anything in front of me. “Mason, let me go! You’re hurting me! What are you doing?” My arm burned where his fingers dug into my skin, but he refused to answer me. Instead, he walked faster toward the back room, but why? We quickly reached it, but no one waited for us and we passed through and out a door that led to a parking lot behind the building. Mason yanked hard on my arm to pull me toward a car, and I cried out from the pain. “Let me go!

Where are you taking me?” “Get in and shut your mouth or this will hurt for much longer,” he snapped. “No!” The back of his hand skidded across my cheek, and for a moment my skin felt like it was on fire. My vision blurred, and he took advantage of my confusion to stuff me into the backseat of the car. As I tried to shake off the pain jutting up into my temple, he tied my hands together with a cord and covered my mouth with duct tape. “One more sound out of you and that shot you just took will be nothing compared to what I do to you. Keep quiet!” He jumped in the driver’s seat and started the car, flooring it out of the parking lot. I rolled around on the leather seat and worked to pull myself up to look out the window, praying that I’d see Kane’s car and somehow make him know Mason was taking me away somewhere. No streetlights lit up the road from the bar, so hopefully it would be easy to see a car coming at us, but Mason was driving so fast I was afraid I’d miss him. Suddenly, I saw a pair of lights coming at us and began to flail my arms in the hope that whoever was driving would see me and come after us. As the car got closer, I recognized it as Kane’s and banged on the window, knowing that he couldn’t hear me but desperate to have any chance to get his attention. Driving even faster than Mason, Kane passed us without ever looking at the car. Devastated, I slumped against the seat and screamed his name. All it did was anger Mason, and as he raced down the road, he reached his arm around to punch me across the face. Everything blurred and then it went dark as I fell down onto the floor. I opened my eyes and the pain in my cheek came raging back, making me wince in agony. My mouth hurt, I guessed from when he tore the duct tape off, but my hands were still bound together. Bright lights shined above me, and I couldn’t see anything past them. I had no idea where I was or even if there were any people around me. Mason’s voice next to my head told me at least he was there, and I turned to look at him. “Where am I?” “Where I want you. I told you not to talk, Abigail. You should have listened. You ask too many questions.” Just like every other man who’d hit me, Mason had his excuses ready. I hung my head and closed my eyes as the memory of Kane passing us on the road and never seeing me flooded back into my mind. Whatever was about to happen to me, he wouldn’t be able to protect me. Tears began to roll down my swollen cheeks. I’d done this to myself, as usual. God, I was so stupid! Like with every man who ever beat me, I thought everything would work out and I could handle things and Mason would let me work at The Greyhound in exchange for Kane’s freedom. I had to wonder if I didn’t deserve the pain for being so naïve. “I want you to feel what my brother felt because of you, a common whore. You think you should be able to look like you do and dance for men and they shouldn’t be able to touch you without getting a beating from your boyfriend there? What makes you so special?” “Kane was only trying to protect me,” I said quietly, sure he’d knock my teeth down my throat if I said much more. “That boyfriend of yours should have remembered what he was. Ex-cons don’t get to protect their sluts.” I looked away from Mason’s angry gaze so I didn’t defend myself. I wasn’t a whore or a slut. I never sold my body for any money or gift. But he grabbed my face and jerked it back to make me look at him,

and I saw the disgust in his eyes. “Why do you hate me so much?” “You make me sick. That club you work at makes me sick. Women should be chaste and innocent. You look like you’re innocent, but it’s all an act. Beneath the big blue eyes and blond hair is a cheap whore. You’re the worst kind of female. You make men think they’re getting one thing, but it’s all a façade.” I knew I shouldn’t, but I pressed him for more details, hoping that if I kept him talking he might not do whatever he planned to do to me. “But you’re a member of Club X. If you hate us so much, why did you join?” “You ask too many fucking questions, Abigail.” He glowered down at me and cocked his arm back to hit me. Squeezing my eyes tight, I braced for the pain of his thick knuckles smashing into my face but nothing happened. I waited for what seemed like forever, listening to him breathe just above me, but he didn’t move. Finally, I slowly opened my eyes to see him staring at me like he was studying something about my face. “You remind me of someone, Abigail. Do you want to know who that someone is?” His voice sounded distant, frightening me more than his fist ever could. Nodding, I whispered, “Yes?” Mason smoothed the hair from my face and ran the tip of his forefinger from my temple to my chin. His eyes had a crazy look in them. “You remind me of my wife.” As the words came out of his mouth, I wondered why he’d want to beat me if I reminded him of someone he loved, but then he continued and I began to understand why I was there. “My wife was beautiful, like you Abigail, and innocent. So pure that I could look into her eyes and know I was the luckiest man in the world. I bet Kane thinks that when he looks into those big blue eyes of yours, doesn’t he? The eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul. At least that’s what they say. Did you know that?” “Yes.” “But that’s not true. The eyes aren’t the windows to the soul. They lie,” he hissed. “My wife’s eyes lied. She wasn’t pure and innocent like she made me believe. She was tainted and corrupted. Like you are. I see in your eyes the foulness in your soul. You’re foul, Abigail. It’s clear as day right there in those eyes of yours.” As he spoke, his face twisted in a horrifying expression full of hatred and disgust. I moved my head to look away, but he forced me to turn back toward him. “Don’t you fucking look away, you whore! Don’t you look away from me like you’re better than I am! I’m a goddamned councilman! People respect me. They believe me. People don’t respect you. You’re garbage. You’re a dancer who tempts men with your body and the promise of innocence long thrown away!” I couldn’t stop myself from crying at his words. I’d heard every one of them before from every man who’d told me he’d loved me and then used his fists to show me just how much I meant to him. Mason was going to beat me like Kane did to his brother, but he wasn’t going to stop until he’d gotten his vengeance for not only Jethro but whatever his wife had done to hurt him so much. With his thumb, he wiped my tears away, and I dragged my gaze up to see sadness in his eyes. “Please don’t do this, Mason. Please. I’m begging you. I’ll do whatever you want, but please don’t kill me.” He began to pace back and forth, looking up to the ceiling as he walked. “I gave my wife her birthday present the night she left me. A beautiful diamond necklace I’d had specially made to show her how much I loved her. I gave it to her and three hours and fifteen minutes later she told me she was leaving me for someone she’d met online. We’d been married for ten years and she left me for some guy with a house in Jacksonville and a boat.”

I wasn’t even sure Mason was talking to me anymore. He didn’t seem to notice I was even in the room with him as he recounted his wife’s cheating and then leaving him. Silently, I prayed to God to help Kane find me before Mason remembered why he’d brought me there and killed me. “I gave her everything, and she left me for a fucking carpenter!” he bellowed into the room, still looking up at the ceiling. Closing my eyes, I prayed to God to rescue me from this nightmare. God, please save me. Please help Kane find me here and save me. “I bet you wouldn’t do that to me, would you, Abigail?” Mason asked. My eyes flew open to see him standing in front of me. Trembling in fear, I said quietly, “No. I would never do that to anyone.” “See? I knew that,” he said as he nodded his head, his demeanor back to the kind way he’d been when I’d met with him in his office. “I can see that in you. You’re not like her, Abigail.” “Why do you call me Abigail?” I asked without thinking, immediately regretting my question. Asking questions was what always got me in trouble. I waited for his face to grow dark with anger and for him to pull his fist back to hit me, but he just smiled like I’d said something that made him happy. “Her name was Abigail. Do you know the moment you entered my office that day you reminded me of her. My Abigail. Sweet and innocent, you wanted to protect the man you loved, but I see you for who you really are. You’re just like her.” In a flash, his expression morphed into one full of rage. I shook my head over and over as I tried to convince him I wasn’t like the woman who’d broken his heart. “No! No! I’m not like her. I would never do that to you. I would never hurt someone like that!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move, but instantly my attention was on Mason’s fist crashing into my face. His knuckles smashed right into my eye, sending my head flying back into the wall behind me. Pain shot through my skull from all sides, and in seconds another punch landed just lower on my cheek, sending my head rolling on my shoulders. I struggled to keep my eyes open. He cocked his arm back and then from the left side of the room someone launched at Mason and slammed him to the ground. Through my blurry vision I saw the man begin to beat him, repeatedly smashing his head on the floor. As I tried to make out who the man was, I felt hands untie the cord on my wrists. Turning my head, I saw Gemma standing beside me. “Honey, we need to get out of here. Follow me.” Suddenly, the scene in front of me made sense. I looked again and saw Kane pummeling Mason’s face, his fists smashing his nose as blood sprayed everywhere. My hands freed, I tried to stand, but my legs buckled. Gemma grabbed me from behind to pull me out of harm’s way, but I fought her, not wanting to leave without Kane. “No! I won’t leave him here!” I screamed when she wrapped her arms around me and tried to move me toward the door. “Abbi, we need to get out of here. Kane can handle himself. At least let me get you to the car.” “No, I don’t want to go,” I sobbed as Mason gained the upper hand on top of Kane and began to land punches to his face. Gemma shook her head. “No. I won’t leave you here! Come on. He’ll be okay.” Much stronger, she forced me out of the room, even as I screamed for Kane. By the time we reached the car, I was crying uncontrollably, sure he was hurt and needing me while I was outside saving my own skin. “Abbi, let me look at your face.” She touched my cheek with her sleeve, making me recoil back in pain. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to hurt you. He hit you bad. You’re all bloody, sweetie. I need

to clean you off.” I sagged against Kane’s Mustang and watched for him to come out. “Gemma, I need to go back in there. I can’t let him get hurt. You have to let me go.” She shook her head violently. “No way. He made me promise I’d get you out of there as soon as I could. You have to trust him. He can handle himself.” The tears flowed down my face and I tried to push my way past her, but it was no use. She was just too strong for me. Defeated and sure something terrible was happening inside the house, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. If Kane got hurt because of me, I would never forgive myself. Gemma hugged me and rubbed my back to soothe me, but nothing would make me happy until I saw Kane come out of that house safe and sound. Burying my face in her shoulder, I cried, “What if something happens to him? We can’t leave him in there. We have to do something.” “Don’t worry, honey. Everything’s going to be fine. I know it will.” I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes to see she was as worried as I was. “How can you say that? No matter what happens, it won’t be fine. Kane is going to get in trouble again, and there’s nothing that can be done to stop that. And that’s if he doesn’t get himself killed in there. Mason is crazy, Gemma. He thought I was his ex-wife who left him and he wanted to punish me for that.” “I thought he did this because of what Kane did to his brother.” “I thought so too. He said he wanted me to feel the pain Jethro felt when Kane beat him, but then he started talking about how I reminded him of his wife whose name was Abigail too. He’s crazy! Kane can’t fight that.” “It’s going to be okay, Abbi. I don’t know how, but it will be. All we have to do is wait for Kane like he made me promise and it will all be okay.” I closed my eyes to pray to God again. He’d saved me. Now I needed him to save the man I loved. Please don’t let him get hurt. Please. I love him. Please, God. Just then, I heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot go off somewhere inside the house. Had someone else come to help Mason and shot Kane? My blood ran cold at the idea of him on the floor bleeding to death alone. I pushed past Gemma, who stood trying to figure out where the gunshot had come from, and ran back toward the house. I needed to see Kane, no matter what happened. My legs buckled under me at the sound of a second gunshot and then everything went black as I fell to the ground, my mind filled with one terrible thought. Kane was dead.

Chapter Twenty

Abbi KANE’S LIPS PRESSED GENTLY AGAINST my forehead, and he whispered, “Everything will be okay, angel. I’m here. You’re safe now, Abbi.” He lifted me into his arms and carried me, but I didn’t know where we were going. He yelled something about a car—the words seemed to get lost in my head, rattling around and crashing into one another as I tried to understand what was happening. I felt hands touch my face and looked up to see Gemma crying as she stroked my forehead. I opened my mouth to tell her it was okay and she shouldn’t cry, but the words didn’t come out, instead trapped with all of Kane’s words in my mind. I had the sensation of going fast one minute and then being still the next. I thought I was in Kane’s Mustang, but I couldn’t be sure. From somewhere far away, I heard voices and turned to see a woman and a man looking down at me. I recognized Cash, but I didn’t know the woman. She reminded me of my mother, her dark eyes staring down at me with sadness. Slowly, the words around me became clearer. Someone was dead. Who? I frantically searched the faces around me for Kane’s, but I couldn’t find him. He’d just told me everything would be okay. Had I dreamed that? Or was I dreaming this? Struggling to speak, I croaked out the only word I knew to say. “Kane?” I watched the looks on the faces around me for any sign he’d been hurt. They didn’t seem to react to his name. Did that mean he was okay? Gemma kissed my cheek. “Kane’s right here, honey.” And then he appeared, smiling down at me with one of those genuine smiles that went all the way to his eyes. Everything would be okay if he was happy. He cradled my face in his hands and brushed the pads of his thumbs over the tender skin of my cheeks. I winced and saw the happiness leave his eyes as he moved his hands away. “No,” I pleaded as I raised my hands to cover his. “Don’t move them. I don’t care if it hurts. As long as you’re holding me, I’m okay.” “I have to go now, Abbi. It’s too risky for me to stay here with you. Gemma and Alexandria will make sure you’re safe and taken care of for a while.” Terror raced through me as the memory of Kane being taken away in handcuffs flooded my mind. “No! Don’t go, Kane. Please don’t go.” He kissed me softly on the lips and then placed a kiss on the tip of my nose, finally looking down into my eyes with a look so full of pain my heart felt like it was being broken in two. “I have to, angel. Just for a little while. As soon as everything’s cleared up, I’ll come get you. Until then, don’t forget how much I love you.” Tears filled my eyes. “How long will you be gone?” “I don’t know, but as soon as I can get back to you, I’ll be here. I promise.” “Promise me you’ll come back? You won’t forget me because of all the trouble I’ve been?” “Oh, baby, you’ve never been trouble. As soon as I can, I’ll come get you and we can go back to living in that little house of ours. You, me, and Angel.”

Somebody warned him that he needed to leave and he kissed me one last time. Pulling away, he tried to smile, to put on a good face for me, but I saw the sadness in those dark blue eyes. “I love you, Kane.” “I love you, my angel.” He stood and hurried away, leaving me feeling lost and alone. I closed my eyes, wishing I could shut out the rest of the world until he came back to me. The sound of purring next to my ear woke me up, and I slowly opened my eyes to see Angel sitting on my chest and nuzzling my neck. Her adorable little face made me smile, and as soon as I did I felt the all too familiar pain of a beating shoot up through my cheek. Rubbing my nose on hers, I felt the cold wetness on my skin. “Good morning, Angel.” She licked my cheek and bounded off the bed to scamper away through the doorway out to the hall. Fully awake, I looked around at the room I was in and realized I wasn’t at home. Where was I? “Kane? Kane!” I heard footsteps coming quickly down the hall and then saw Gemma standing in front of me. But I wasn’t in her apartment either. Where was I? “Where’s Kane?” “Good morning, honey. How are you feeling?” “I’d be feeling a whole lot better if you’d answer my question. Where’s Kane? Why isn’t he here? Where am I?” Gemma sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand in hers. I knew by her expression that what she was about to say wouldn’t be good. “I’m glad you’re awake. You’ve been asleep for a while, honey.” “Please tell me what’s going on.” “Okay. You’re at Cassian and Stefan’s mother’s house on Anna Maria Island. We brought you here after what happened with Mason. Kane’s not here, though. He’s in Tampa.” “Why? Why isn’t he here with me? Gemma, what aren’t you telling me?” “Honey, he can’t be here right now. But when he can, he’ll come for you. Don’t worry.” I sat up in bed and swung my legs off the side. “If he can’t be here with me, I’m going to him. Get me my clothes, please.” “No, you can’t go to him now, Abbi. It’s not safe. Olivia!” “What do you mean it’s not safe and why is Olivia here too?” I asked as I looked around the room for any of my clothes. Olivia appeared in the doorway full of smiles like she was happy to see me. Since we’d never really spoken, I couldn’t imagine why. “Hey, you. I’m glad to see you’re up. Are you hungry?” “I want to know where Kane is. Gemma doesn’t seem to want to tell me, so I need you to right now.” “Okay, I’ll tell you, but I need you to get back into bed. You’re still pretty banged up and the doctor said you might have a concussion, so you need to rest.” I didn’t want to get back into bed, but if that’s what I was going to take to get some answers, I’d do it. To be honest, my head was beginning to feel like the room was spinning. “Fine. Just tell me where Kane is and what’s going on.” As Gemma made sure the sheets and blanket were neatly tucked in against me, Olivia sat in a chair on the other side of the bed and began to explain everything. I lay there staring at the pale pink walls all around me trying to absorb the story she told.

“Kane is still in Tampa, Abbi. He’s back living in his rooms at the club. He’s been there since the night we brought you here.” “How long ago was that?” I asked as I watched the white ceiling fan above me slowly turn. “Four days ago. You’ve been in and out for that time, but Alexandria’s doctor says you’re going to be okay.” I turned to look at Olivia, confused. “Who is Alexandria?” “Cash’s mother. It’s her beach house we’re at on Anna Maria Island. We brought you here because we needed to hide you away while the police investigate Mason’s death.” “Mason’s murder?” Gemma tucked my hair behind my ear and said quietly, “He had a gun. He’d intended to kill you, and when he and Kane fought, the gun accidentally went off.” A memory of gunshots at the house Mason took me to flashed through my mind. But I’d heard more than one shot. Then a spike of fear raced through me. “Did Kane get shot too?” “No,” Gemma said with a smile, not knowing her answer created more questions than comfort in me. “The police are treating Kane as the number one suspect in what they’re calling a murder,” Olivia said quietly. All those horrible feelings of losing him I’d experienced that night when he was arrested and led away came back with a vengeance, and I began to cry, wishing I never woke up to hear all this. Kane was going to jail because he wanted to save me, and there was nothing I could do about it this time. “Abbi, it’s going to be okay. Don’t cry.” I looked at Gemma and shook my head, not believing what she was saying. “How could it be okay? Kane killed someone to save me and now he’s going to go to jail. Nothing will ever be okay again!” Olivia leaned over and squeezed my hand in sympathy. “Don’t worry just yet. Cash and Stefan vouched for him and said he was with them all night, so he’s got an alibi.” “So why is he still in Tampa and I’m here?” “Well, it’s not that simple. After the problem with Jethro, Kane is naturally the one they’d look at since Mason was beaten before he was shot. Even more, your injuries would make them think Kane did it to avenge what Mason did to you. That’s why we need to hide you out here for a while.” “Don’t worry, honey,” Gemma said in her usual sweet way. “Kane’s going to take care of everything.” Olivia walked toward the door. “Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.” “Yeah. Sure. Maybe some toast or something,” I said, not really hungry but not wanting to talk anymore. She left and Gemma sat with me, silent for a long time before she said, “Abbi, he’s going to be fine and as soon as the cops stop investigating him, he’ll come here for you.” “He killed someone, Gemma. They’re not going to just let that go. Mason was a councilman. A politician’s death isn’t something they’re just going to spend a few days on and forget.” “Kane was careful, honey. He’s got this covered. Don’t worry.” “He killed someone, Gemma! Murder!” I began to sob, unable to handle the truth. Because of me, Kane was now a murderer for the second time and certain to be sent to prison. I’d turned the man I loved into a murderer for me. “That man was going to kill you, Abbi Linde,” she scolded me. “Do you understand me? He had a gun and he wanted to kill you.” She got up from the bed and grabbed a mirror from the dresser. Holding it in front of my face, she said, “Take a good look at what he did. That’s four days out and you still look like someone took a fucking bat to your face. He kidnapped you, beat you, and planned to kill you. And you

want to blame Kane for doing what any man should do for the woman he loves?” I sat stunned at her words. Looking at my reflection, all I saw was what I’d always been. A victim. “I can’t help it. He killed someone, Gemma. After all those times boyfriends beat me and how many times I wished someone would make them feel what I felt, now that it’s happened all I feel is sick. How can I ever look at him the same again?” “I told you this when I first suggested you come to work at Club X. Kane is a good man. He’s crazy in love with you, probably going out of his mind missing you, and you’d be insane to think of him as anything else but that. Would you rather be dead and Mason be alive?” It wasn’t that easy. Mason’s death made Kane something I wasn’t sure I could handle. I loved him with all my heart, but what if I never could look at him the same again knowing what he’d done because of me? “I’m tired, Gemma. I’m going to lay down a little while,” I said, needing to avoid this conversation. She reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Okay, honey, but I want to leave this with you.” I took it from her hand and looked at it. “What’s this?” “A letter from Kane. Olivia brought it yesterday.” Gemma left me and I opened the envelope to find a single sheet of paper. In his own hand, he’d written me things he’d never said to me before. My angel, I’m sorry I’m not there with you when you need me most. I told you I’d never leave you alone, but I swear I had no choice. Every night I lay on the floor next to my twin bed in my rooms at the club and think of the time I spent there with you. You’re the first thought I have every morning and the last thought I have every night. In between, it feels like someone’s carved into my chest and taken my heart out, leaving an emptiness there only you can fill. There’s a darkness in me, angel—my demons demand I protect you—and I don’t regret letting them rule me that night. For you, I’d give up everything, including my freedom, if I could know you were safe. I promise I’ll make this up to you if it takes the rest of my life. Please don’t give up on us, angel. Never doubt I love you more than anyone or anything in this world. Kane His letter made my heart ache and I missed him so much at that moment, I couldn’t think about those doubts I’d had just minutes before. I feared they’d return sometime, though, and I’d have to deal with them or lose him. There was no other way.

* DAY AFTER DAY, I WAITED to hear that Kane had been cleared of the charges, but each time Olivia came to see me, all she could report was the investigation was continuing and at least he hadn’t been charged. The days became weeks and even though I wanted to write back to him to say I loved him and missed him more than I thought I could ever miss another person, I couldn’t just in case the police searched his rooms. Any connection to me could endanger him, so all those words I wanted to say to him remained unspoken and hidden in my heart. I missed our little house where we’d made a home together, even if I began to like Alexandria’s house on Anna Maria Island with its warm breezes that blew through the French doors of my bedroom and porch

right outside where I sat at night and wished Kane was there beside me as I watched the sun set. I told myself that this was only temporary and tomorrow Kane would come and take me and Angel home with him. But tomorrow always came without him. My face healed over time until there was no evidence of what Mason had done to me, but still I couldn’t go back home. Three weeks went by without another word from him, and each day became harder to deal with. Gemma and Olivia tried to keep my spirits up, reminding me to keep in mind that at least he hadn’t been arrested, but I didn’t want at leasts or anything else that was supposed to make me feel better. I only wanted him. By the beginning of May, four weeks had passed and getting out of bed seemed like a useless attempt at pretending I was happy. Even worse, I came down with a bug and couldn’t keep a thing in my stomach. My misery was complete. I was alone without the man I loved and not even sure I’d ever see him again, away from my home, and sick. One morning as I knelt over the toilet, disappointed that even though I’d felt better the night before whatever this was had come back with a vengeance again, I realized in all the time I’d been there at that house I’d never had my period. Standing at the bathroom mirror, I counted back to the last time I had and the last time Kane and I made love and the answer became obvious. I didn’t have the flu. I was pregnant. Behind me, Gemma knocked on the door. “Not feeling any better this morning? I thought you’d shaken it last night.” I rinsed my mouth and walked out past her to sit on the bed. My legs felt like they were made of rubber and would give out at any moment. My hands began to shake as I thought about how I would break this news to him. “Olivia’s bringing up some toast in a minute. Maybe you should get under the covers. You’re shaking, honey.” I hung my head and sighed. How was I going to have a baby when its father might go to prison any day? What a mess my life was. Gemma sat down next to me and rubbed my back. “Why so sad? It’ll be gone in a few days.” “No, it won’t. This isn’t the flu, Gem. I’m pregnant.” I heard her gasp and then she hugged me tightly as she made a squealing noise in my ear. “Oh Abbi! That’s wonderful! Wait until Kane hears. He’ll be over the moon!” Turning to look at her, I couldn’t fathom what the hell she was so happy about. “Do you never see anything but the positive side of life? I’m pregnant, living here away from Kane, who may be hauled off to jail at any time. Could there be a worse time to bring a baby into our lives?” Gemma kissed me and jumped up off the bed. Spreading her arms wide, she smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for a sign for weeks. This is it. Finally, some good news out of all of this. A baby is the best news ever too. When are you going to tell him?” “I have no idea. I haven’t heard from him in a month. At this rate, I’ll have the baby before we see each other again. And I can’t write to him anyway, at least not until the police stop looking at him.” “You can tell Olivia and she can tell him,” she suggested. “No. I want him to find out from me, not secondhand, so don’t say a thing to her, okay?” “Of course.” Gemma looked like she was thinking of a solution and then pointed at me excitedly. “I got it! You could ask her to give him a message from you that only he would understand.” “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Think of something only he would know so you can tell him. Imagine how happy he’s going to be when he finds out. After weeks of all the police stuff and being away from you, he’ll be thrilled to find out the good news.” “No. Then he’ll risk coming here to see me and all that time away from each other will be for nothing. No. I won’t tell him until he comes back to me on his own.” “You sure?” “Yes, and promise me you won’t say a thing. I’d never forgive myself if everything was ruined because of this.” With a frown, she nodded. “I promise.” I knew Gemma would have a hard time keeping this a secret, but thankfully, I didn’t think she ever saw Kane either so there’d be no chance she’d be able to tell him. I just had to hope she wouldn’t break her promise and tell Olivia.

Chapter Twenty-One

Kane I SAT IN CASH’S OFFICE with him and Stefan as he made his daily call to the lawyer to find out the latest news on the investigation into Mason’s death. Six weeks had gone by since that night, and although I didn’t regret what I’d done, I did regret that it meant I had to be away from Abbi for so long. Listening to Olivia’s reports about her nearly broke my heart. She may have been fooling Olivia and Gemma into believing she was okay, but my gut told me otherwise. I knew my angel. She was going through everything I was, and I wasn’t there for her, the strength I’d promised her when she needed it most. Cash hung up the phone and began talking, but my mind was miles away with Abbi. Stefan nudged me out of my daydreaming, and I looked up to see them both grinning like they’d heard a funny joke and I’d missed it. “Sorry. My mind was somewhere else.” “No problem. I’ve got good news. Jessup says it looks like they’re onto a different line of investigation. Seems none of us panned out, even though we’d been paying him every month and you looked like an obvious suspect because of what happened with Jethro.” “That’s great! But we were all suspects?” Stefan asked. “Yes. Since we were paying him protection every month, we’d have a good reason to want him dead,” Cash answered. “That it overlooks the reality that if he’s dead we have no one to help us didn’t seem to occur to the police.” “So I’m in the clear?” “Looks like it.” The idea of finally being able to go back to my life slowly sunk into my brain. I could return to Abbi now and our life together. A sense of relief washed over me. Six weeks of worrying every day that I’d be taken away to jail finally over. “I want to thank both of you for all that you’ve done during this. I couldn’t have done this alone.” Cash smiled and nodded his head. “This is what family does, Kane. You’re our brother. We protect each other.” “Yeah, you’re blood,” Stefan continued. “When one of us is in trouble, he can always count on his brothers.” “Thanks. But what’s going to happen to the club? We’ve been closed ever since Mason’s man in the police department didn’t get his payment three weeks ago. What are we going to do?” Deep down, I knew the answer to my question. I just didn’t want to admit it. Without someone like Shank or Mason, Club X couldn’t stay open. Too much of my area would get us shut down the minute some eager cop found out we weren’t protected. “Unfortunately, until we figure out what to do, whether we can find another Mason or not, I think we have to stay closed. The nature of our business means we need someone like that,” Cash said. “I’m sorry for that. I never meant to do this to you two and to the club,” I said quietly. I hadn’t meant to ruin their livelihoods with my demons. “Things were changing anyway, so maybe it’s just the way it’s meant to be,” Stefan said as he chucked

me in the shoulder. “Shay’s going to be back soon, and we were going to wait to tell everyone, but she’s taken a job at a school in Texas. I was going to be leaving you guys, believe it or not.” Cash and I sat there in stunned silence. I looked over at him, and like me, the look of amazement on his face told the whole story. Neither one of us just a year earlier would have imagined Stefan settled down with a good woman, a soon-to-be college professor no less, and moving away from Tampa. “Will you be getting married?” Cash asked like the big brother he was. Stefan grinned and shrugged. “We don’t know yet. We’re just having fun and loving every minute together. I keep telling you guys. I’m a changed man.” “I guess you are,” I said, still shocked from his news. “And your wedding is right around the corner,” Stefan said to Cash. “Just a few more weeks. I guess this vacation from the club is good.” “Yep, and then a long honeymoon in Italy for three weeks. I haven’t had that much time off since we began this. I’d say I’d get bored not working, but something tells me that’s not going to happen.” “While you’re gone, Stefan and I can keep the nightclub section open at least,” I suggested. “I’m game,” Stefan chimed in. “I mean, my section was always the one that brought in the people.” “Yeah, right,” I joked. “I think we know what section brought in the money, Stef.” Before he could take my bait, Cash shook his head. “I don’t think so. We’ve had a good run here, but Club X means the upper floors. If we do open up again in the future, it’s got to be with Kane’s section too.” The three of us sat there silently as the reality of the situation became clear. Club X would be no more, at least for the time being. “So this is it?” Stefan asked with more than a hint of sadness in his voice. Cash looked at me and then back at Stefan. “I think so. We’ve made a lot of money here, gentlemen. More than even I ever thought we could. Our father would be proud. It was a good run, but things are changing. I’m getting married. Stefan, you’re leaving. What are your plans, Kane?” “Just bringing Abbi home. I lived so long alone that having someone in my life is a big change.” “Olivia says she’s doing fine out there at the house, other than a touch of the flu, right?” “Yeah. Right after we’re done here, I can finally see her again now that I’m no longer a suspect. I’m going to bring her back to the house and hope I can make up for lost time.” “So it’s agreed Club X will stay closed?” Cash asked looking at Stefan and then me for our answers. Quietly, we both answered and agreed. The business we’d built into the multi-million dollar a year hottest nightspot in Tampa would stay closed. The three of us sat silently as the reality of that decision began to settle in. For six days a week for most of my twenties I’d worked with these two men. It had been awkward in the beginning. I’d never met them before our father died and dictated in his will that if any of us wanted any money from his estate we’d have to work together. At first, it felt like a punishment none of us thought we deserved, but after a while we grew to like each other. Cash, the brother nearly my age I wished I’d known all those years growing up, and Stefan, the younger pain in the ass brother I suddenly couldn’t imagine not having around to joke and bust ass with. I’d always been the outsider, but now as I sat there with them after all they’d done for me in the past two months, I didn’t feel like that outsider anymore. I just felt like their brother. For someone who’d never really had a family in his life, it was a feeling I’d miss. A knocking on the office door roused us all from our thoughts, and Olivia walked in with her usual sweet smile. “Am I interrupting? It sounded as quiet as a church in here.” She walked over to Cash’s side. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he looked up and said, “We’ve

decided to keep the club closed for the time being.” “Oh,” she said with a pout. “It’s okay, Olivia,” Stefan said. “We’ve all got things going on. You two are getting married. Kane and Abbi have to make up for all this time apart. And Shay and I are going to be moving when she comes back.” “Moving? To where?” She looked down at Cash and poked his shoulder. “Why didn’t your brother tell me any of this?” “He didn’t know. I just told them today. Shay got a job in Texas for next semester.” “Listen to you talking like that,” she teased him. “Please tell her I said congratulations. You’re not planning on moving too, are you Kane?” she asked. “You can’t move now.” “Abbi and I aren’t going anywhere,” I said with a smile, silently remembering a time when the dream of leaving with the woman I loved was all that I could think of. Now, all I wanted to do was take Abbi back to our little house with the squeaky screen door and little backyard and live there in peace. “All right, it’s decided. Until further notice, Club X is closed and we’re moving on. I’ll take care of talking to the staff.” Cash’s announcement brought Olivia’s frown back, but it was for the best. I would have liked to talk to my people, but Cash was better at that anyway. As Stefan and Cash talked about the legalities of our decision, I headed up to my area for one last look around the place I’d spent so many nights. I climbed the stairs up to the fifth floor and walked around where I stood every night, by habit immediately turning to look at the monitors, but now they all sat there dark in front of me. I walked the halls of each floor, looking in on the rooms I’d watched over for years and feeling a sense of some kind of accomplishment. We hadn’t invented the wheel or saved the world, but our members had found a place to enjoy themselves. It wasn’t world peace, but it was some kind of happiness. On the fourth floor, I walked back to my old rooms where I’d lived from the day we opened Club X. Three small rooms never meant to be a home, they’d served as a place for me to hide out from the world and all the pain that came with it. Then one night, Abbi walked into them and I didn’t want to hide anymore. Gathering up my clothes, I looked down at the blanket on the floor and remembered the night I came back to find her still wearing my shirt and asleep in my bed. So small and innocent, she didn’t know it as she lay there all curled up but even then she’d found a way into my heart. I cleaned out the last of the food in the refrigerator and threw it in the garbage, the final task to end my life there. I’d returned when Abbi went to Anna Maria Island because I couldn’t live in that house without her, but now if she’d have me, we’d go back to our home and begin a new life. I wasn’t a fool. I knew no woman should want a man who’d done what I’d done, even if I could claim the best of intentions. Abbi had spent years with violent men. Would she see me as one of them now? If she did, I couldn’t blame her. I just had to show her I wasn’t like them. Even now, my demons told me I had good reason for killing Mason. They always had good reasons for the bad I did. But now, I needed to work harder than ever to control the demons inside me. They may not ever push me to hurt Abbi, but I couldn’t continue to expect her to want to spend her life with me if I couldn’t control them. In a choice between them and her, the decision was simple. Whatever I had to do to keep Abbi, that’s what I’d do. I headed down to my car, ready to see her and show her I could be the man she needed and the man she wanted. Olivia caught me as I walked out the back door and looked like she had a secret she couldn’t

wait to share. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you, but you disappeared.” “Just a small trip through the past. I’ve spent a lot of time in this club.” Olivia’s smile grew bigger. “Well, it’s probably best that you won’t be doing this anymore. It’s not really the kind of job you should have now.” “You’re probably right. After being arrested and the main suspect in a murder all in the past couple months, I probably need a break.” “That’s not what I meant, actually. Gemma told me what Abbi thought was the flu was actually something else. Sickness women get in the morning.” I stared down at Olivia, who stood there practically beaming, and tried to figure out her riddle. My thinking about what she’d said took too long for her, and she blurted out, “Morning sickness! Jeez, you men are so slow with this stuff.” “Morning sickness? You mean—” Olivia bounced on her toes, finally able to say the words she’d been holding in since she arrived at the club. “Abbi’s pregnant! Gemma says she’s worried you won’t be happy because of everything that’s happened.” Abbi pregnant? I felt myself fall back against the wall, stunned at what Olivia had just told me. Abbi the mother of my child. Me a father. For a moment, all I could think was at least I had enough money because that’s all we had going for us, but then the truth pushed all the doubts out of my mind. We’d been through a lot together, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t do this. We were having a baby. “Are you okay, Kane? You look like you can barely stand up.” I nodded, still getting a handle on the fact that I was going to be a father. “Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.” “I’m so happy for you two. You’re finally able to go to her, so what are you doing wasting your time with me and an armful of food and clothes?” Olivia’s words confused me, but looking down, I saw what she meant. “I was cleaning out my rooms. I better go. Should I bring her anything?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I didn’t know how to act. “Get some flowers. Women love flowers. Other than that, all she wants to see is you. Now go!” I quickly headed out to my car and threw everything in my arms out in the trash dumpster before racing over to the florist near the club for a dozen roses. I had one hour before I had to be ready to be a father, and I knew I better use that drive to figure out how to be the man Abbi needed now.

* ALEXANDRIA’S HOUSE ON ANNA MARIA Island was typical her—opulent in a way that didn’t seem off putting. Far wealthier than either of her sons or me, she wore her money like it belonged on her. Cash took after her in that way, unlike Stefan, who forever seemed to want to look like some frat boy, even after his life change because of Shay. I walked up the stairs to the front door with my heart in my throat. Six long weeks was enough time for a woman to decide she didn’t want a man in her life who couldn’t control his demons. Six long weeks of not hearing a word from me, except for that one letter Jessup told me I could sneak to her. Six long weeks of every night alone. Six long weeks of worrying about me again. What woman would want that? “Hello, Kane.” Alexandria opened the door for me to come in, speaking to me for one of the few times since we’d

met all those years ago. I entered the house, instantly feeling like intruder as I always did when it came to Cash and Stefan’s mother. “Hi, Alexandria.” She silently led me down the hall to the foot of the stairs and turned to look at me as I stood there with the bouquet of roses in my hand. “Abbi’s feeling better. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you after all this time.” “Thank you for helping me with this. I know we’ve never been close and you likely agreed to let Abbi stay here because Cash asked, but thank you all the same.” Alexandria looked up at me, staring into my eyes for so long that I wanted to look away, but finally she said, “I noticed when I saw you at Cassian and Olivia’s engagement party how much you look like your father.” I’d only seen my father a handful of times in my life. How much I looked like him never entered my mind. I only knew I looked like Cash. “You look more like him now because all that hatred and anger isn’t in your eyes anymore.” “That’s all Abbi.” Alexandria smiled. “I had a feeling. She’s a very sweet girl. Your father would like her.” “I didn’t know him, so I wouldn’t know what he’d like,” I said quietly, trying to hide the resentment I still carried for Cassian March III. “I know. That was one of the many mistakes he made, Kane, but I think it’s about time I told you. You weren’t one of those mistakes.” We stood there not saying a thing, me because I didn’t know what to say to the woman I’d believed always hated my very existence, and her because I had a feeling now that she could accept me I was more like a stranger to her than ever before. Alexandria gave me a smile and walked back toward the kitchen, and for a moment I thought about the father I’d never known and all those years growing up hearing the terrible things my mother had said about Cassian March and his wife. After all this time, I could finally say I knew she’d been wrong. I made my way up the stairs to Abbi’s room at the far end of the house. My hand clutching the roses’ stems cramped from how tightly I gripped them. Her room was empty, but I saw the kitten sitting on the bed all curled up into a little ball. My eyes scanned the porch for any sign of Abbi, but she wasn’t there either. Angel’s purring made me look over toward her, and I saw underneath her lay a sheet of paper folded in half. Scooping her up, I dropped the flowers on the bed and held her to my chest, nuzzling her fur. “What are you and Abbi hiding there?” As she kneaded my shoulder, I opened up the note and read what Abbi had written. Dear Kane, By the time you get this letter, I’ll be gone so I want to make sure this makes sense. It’s been a long wait for us to be together, and in that time I’ve missed you so much. I know you deserved to hear me tell you all of this in person, but it’s better this way. I’ve brought you nothing but trouble since I came into your life. Gemma told me you’ve never been arrested or even in a fight in all the time she’s known you, but now in the span of just a few months you’ve done all these terrible things and I don’t think it’s your demons. I think it’s me. I don’t know what it is about me that brings trouble, but I love you too much to see you suffer anymore because of me. You deserve so much more than what I can give you.

I never meant for any of this to happen to you. All I ever wanted was someone to love who wouldn’t hurt me, and you’ve been that and so much more. But now I’m hurting you, and I can’t do that to you anymore. I love you too much. Please don’t come after me. It’s best this way. You deserve to have that life you and Holly dreamed of, and you can’t if I’m around. I love you. Abbi My hands began to shake as I read Abbi’s letter again, still not believing the words she’d written. No. This couldn’t be goodbye. We’d been through all that shit and misery just to come through it and not be together? No. I couldn’t let that happen. I sat down on her bed and tried to figure out what to do. She was gone and I had no idea where she could be. Pregnant, alone…what if she got hurt? What if that asshole ex-boyfriend found her again? Where could she be? I had to find her. My mind raced. She couldn’t have gotten too far on foot. Was she even on foot? Where was Gemma? Gemma must have taken her somewhere. Fucking Gemma! Did Alexandria know? Was that why she stopped me downstairs? I hurriedly placed Angel on the bed and ran to the porch to see if Abbi was still close by. Fuck! I looked out and only saw water. My gut felt like someone was ripping me apart. Where was she? I had to find her. “Abbi!” I yelled so loud my lungs hurt. “Abbi! Where are you?” I yelled until I couldn’t anymore. I turned back into her room and Alexandria stood in the doorway. I saw it in her eyes. She knew something and wasn’t telling me. “Where is she?” “I don’t know what you mean.” Holding Abbi’s letter up, I shook my head as I felt the anger rise in me. This woman was keeping me from the woman I loved. I didn’t care why. I just knew she was in my way. “Fine. I don’t have time to fuck around with you. But if I find out you had any part in why she left—if you turned her against me—I’ll find a way to make you pay. I don’t give a damn whose mother you are.” I stuffed Abbi’s letter into my pocket and went for the door, but Alexandria stopped me and placed her hand on my forearm. “Stop. Let her be for a little while. She’s not in danger.” “You know where she is? Tell me. Now.” “She’s just confused, Kane. She thinks she’s the reason you do the things you do.” This woman stood between me and my happiness, and every second I wasted with her was another second I didn’t get to spend with Abbi. “Alexandria, I’m going to give you about three seconds to tell me where she is.” “Kane, she’s afraid and doesn’t know what to do. Let her have a little time.” “She’s had six weeks to realize she doesn’t love me anymore. Time isn’t something that works in my favor.” “She thinks she’s ruined your life.” “Why? Because you sat here for over a month and filled her head with how much she should hate me?” Alexandria frowned and shook her head. “I meant what I said downstairs. I’m sorry you didn’t get to know your father, Kane. You deserved more than just money from him. If you had known him, maybe you wouldn’t be like you are.”

“This has nothing to do with who my father was,” I said as a lump formed in my throat. I couldn’t handle this on top of losing Abbi. “I can’t spend the rest of my life apologizing for being born and being the child no one wanted. I don’t want my son or daughter to feel that way. I have to find Abbi, and you can either step aside so I can get past you or stand in my way and deal with my demons, which at the moment can think of nothing else but finding the woman I love. Your choice.” She stared up at me for a long moment with a look in her eyes that told me she was deciding what to do, but then without another word she stepped aside and let me by. I gave her one last chance to tell me where Abbi was. One last chance to be something other than the person who’d always hated me. Stopping in front of her, I asked, “Will you please tell me where she is, if you know?” “I can’t. I promised her I wouldn’t.” “Why? Do you hate me that much that you want to see my one chance for happiness gone?” “I don’t hate you, Kane. If anything, I’ve grown to think of you as another one of my sons because of the way Cassian and Stefan feel about you. I grew very fond of Abbi since she’s been here, and I know she loves you. Just give her some time.” “Some time to do what, Alexandria? Realize she can’t live with the man I am and doesn’t want me in my child’s life?” “Time to find the strength to be the person she needs to be to be with you.” “What does that mean? I just want my Abbi, the person I fell in love with. Why is that a problem?” Alexandria said nothing, and I knew I wasn’t going to get anything useful from her. She hated me, no matter what she said, and somehow had poisoned Abbi against me. “I never asked to be born. I’m sorry my father wasn’t the kind of man who cared about the women he claimed to love. I’m not like him, though, and when I find Abbi she’ll see that.” Racing down the stairs, I got to my car and called Abbi, but her phone went directly to voicemail. With her phone off, I couldn’t even try to track her. I didn’t know if she’d ever get my message, but I texted her anyway, desperate for her to know I needed her. Abbi, don’t do this. Don’t leave me. I need you. I swear I’ll promise you anything if you’ll just tell me where you are so I can bring you home to our little house.

I couldn’t just wait and hope she’d see my message, so I called John Kearney, the private investigator we used at the club. If anyone could help me find her, if was him. “Kane, I heard you guys were closing up shop, so I’m surprised to hear from you.” “I need you to find someone for me. I’m in a hurry.” “Find someone? Who?” “Her name is Abigail Linde. Goes by the name Abbi. She’s petite, blond with shorter hair but she might be wearing a wig. She’s also pregnant. I need to find her as soon as possible. She might be headed north from Anna Maria Island to her mother’s house in Panama City.” “She owe you money or something? You sound like you’re a man on a mission here, Kane.” I slid behind the wheel and took one last look at the house. “Nothing like that. I just need to find her now. Don’t worry about the cost. Price is no object. Spend whatever you have to but find her. I’ll throw in an extra twenty grand if you can find her within the week. Deal?” John’s breath caught and he said, “I can’t turn that down, so deal. I’ll find your girl. What do you want me to do when I do find her, though?” “Let me know and I’ll come to you. She’s not to be hurt. Do you understand me, John?” “I don’t hurt people, Kane. I just find them. I leave the hurting up to the people who want them found.” His comment made me wince, but I brushed it off. I needed to keep focused. “Call me as soon as you know something.”

“You got it. Stay by your phone.” I threw my cell on the passenger seat and drove out of there back to my rooms at the club. I couldn’t go back to our house. It just wasn’t the same without Abbi there to share it with me. WITH THE CLUB CLOSED, I had the entire building to myself, alone with nothing but my thoughts. During the day, I sat in my office and waited to hear from John about where she was hiding, and at night I lay on the floor next to my bed where I held Abbi in my arms that first night. Every minute my mind stayed preoccupied with the real fear that I’d never see the woman I loved again or ever see my child. That when everything else was stripped away—the money, the club, everything—who I was wasn’t who she wanted. That the man I was made her run away. Three night later, I lay on the floor of my bedroom in the dark when John called with the news I’d been waiting for. “What did you find out?” “Kane, was this job some kind of trick or something? You testing me?” Sitting up, I tried to figure out what he meant. “I told you I needed you to find Abbi Linde. Did you find her?” “Yeah, but I don’t get why you couldn’t. She’s right there on Anna Maria Island at Cash and Stefan’s mother’s beach house. From what I can figure, she never left there. Why did you send me looking for her if she was right there the whole time?” Abbi had never left the house. She’d hidden from me and stood by as Alexandria made me believe she wasn’t there. Stunned, I mumbled, “Thanks” and dropped the phone to the floor. I knew I could go there at that moment and find her, but what good would that do? She didn’t want to be with me now.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Abbi I STOOD ON THE PORCH with my heart in my throat as I watched Kane drive away. I’d hidden myself in the next room and listened to everything he’d said to Alexandria as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew he loved me, but he deserved better than the life he’d have if he stayed with me. Alexandria placed her hand on my shoulder. “Did you hear what he said?” Nodding, I choked back the tears. “Yeah. Everything. Why didn’t you just let me go when I wanted to?” “I couldn’t let you do that to him. If you did what you planned to, he’d never get over it. You two would never have a chance. I didn’t want to see you do that to him or you.” I turned around and saw that same sympathetic look she always wore around me. How she could when she knew what I’d wanted to do confused me. “He doesn’t need me or a baby in his life. He deserves to finally be happy, and it’s obvious that can’t happen with me. I just bring misery to him.” “You underestimate yourself. And him.” “I still don’t know if I should keep this baby. Nothing’s changed.” “Abbi, he’s never known love like you gave him.” “And now because of me he’s killed someone. It was bad enough that he’d hurt others for me, but that…I can’t be the reason someone does that.” The pain in her expression bothered me. If she felt that way about what I said, what would Kane feel? “I’m going to let you have some time alone to think about this.” “Do you hate him like he said?” I asked, needing to know why she would help someone if she didn’t care at all about him. She smiled and shook her head. “No. Not anymore. I told him the truth. I care about him like I do my own sons.” “Why?” Alexandria thought about my question and frowned. “Maybe I think he deserves it. Neither of his parents seemed to care enough about him, so perhaps I should.” “Is it because he reminds you of Cash since they look so alike?” “No. He actually looks more like his father than even Cassian does. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to see him lose this chance to be happy. I always did have a soft spot where his father was concerned.” “Was your husband like him—I mean with the demons like Kane has?” I asked, wanting to know more about his background he’d never really wanted to talk about with me. “The demons in Kane come from his mother,” Alexandria said sharply as she walked away. There alone on the porch I looked off in the distance, wanting to see Kane’s car. Had I made a mistake? No, I couldn’t let him stay with me just because of the baby. He deserved the happiness he gave me, and I couldn’t give that to him. It was better this way.

*

THE FIRST LETTER CAME FOUR days later. Alexandria brought it to me as I lay in bed crying with Angel. I knew the minute she held out the envelope that he’d found out where I was. But why hadn’t he come to get me? She left me alone and with trembling hands, I opened the letter and read the words as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Angel, I can’t go on without you. Whatever I need to do to convince you I love you, I’ll do it. Kane I wanted to believe I wouldn’t ruin his life, but I couldn’t help thinking I was what brought out those demons in him. Naturally protective, he’d only find more battles to fight with me. I couldn’t do that to him. He deserved to be happy. That night I cried myself to sleep with Angel cuddled next to me, and the next morning when I awoke there was another letter on my nightstand. I knew he’d been there. Maybe he’d even come to my room while I slept. That he knew where I was and wasn’t coming to get me made me think I was right, no matter what his letter said. I held the second envelope in my hand, wondering if I should read it at all. What good would any of this do when being with me would only hurt him? I thought of how happy he’d looked that day he showed me our little house, and as my heart broke at how much I missed him and our life, I read his letter. Angel, I’m lost without you. Don’t leave me to live this life alone. Kane I wanted to write back and tell him I was lost without him. I wanted to tell him how I spent every minute of my days missing how it felt when he held me in his arms and protected me from the world and every night I lay in my bed alone wishing he was next to me. His third letter was waiting for me when I awoke the next day, and I didn’t know how I would go on if he kept breaking my heart. With every word he wrote me, I was beginning to think I’d made a mistake hiding from him. Abbi, I can’t go on like this. I know about the baby, but maybe it’s better he or she never knows what I am. I’m sorry. Kane Oh, God! How could I spend the rest of my life without him? I turned on my phone to call him and saw dozens of texts, all from him. I read each and every one of them and sobbed as I realized how much he was hurting. I could only hope that it wasn’t too late. I sat there in bed listening to his phone ring once, twice, three times. Had I waited too long and he’d realized what I’d feared all along? I held my breath as my heart slammed in my chest at the thought that I’d lost him, but finally he answered. “I miss you, Kane.” Like hearing my voice was all he needed to be happy, he said quietly, “Abbi…”

I wanted to be next to him, to have his arms around me. “I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t want to ruin your life.” “Angel, you could never ruin my life. You are my life.” My words caught in my throat as I sobbed. “I want to go home to our little house with the squeaky screen door, Kane. Come take me home.” “Abbi, I’m no good. You don’t need someone like me.” “Don’t say that! I do! Our baby needs you. I can’t do this without you.” “What child wants a father like me? Like the kind of man I am?” The tears streamed down my face as the real fear that I was losing him settled into my heart. “Kane, don’t leave me here all alone without you. I want to come home. Please take me back to our little house.” The phone stayed silent for so long I wasn’t even sure he was still there, but then he said the words that made me happier than I thought I could ever be again. “Okay, angel. I’ll take you home.” ALEXANDRIA HELD MY HAND AS I stood on the front porch waiting for Kane. She hadn’t said anything when I told her it was time for me to go home, but I had a sense that my decision had made her happy. At the sight of Kane’s black Mustang coming down the road toward the house, I squeezed her hand tightly and held Angel to me, suddenly worried about seeing the man I loved again. “It’s okay, Abbi. He loves you. There’s no reason to be scared.” I turned to look at her and saw the same sympathy in her dark brown eyes that I’d seen since the night I arrived here. It had been a source of comfort in all the time I stayed at this house, and now it calmed me when I needed it most. “What if nothing has changed and everything I fear comes true?” She cradled my cheek and smiled. “Do you love him?” “I do. I’m only happy when I know he’s happy. That’s love, isn’t it?” “It is. So if you love him and you’ve accepted who he is, there’s nothing to fear. Once you truly accept who the man you love is, you can handle anything that comes your way.” “I don’t want to mess this up. Kane’s the best thing to come into my life in a long, long time.” Alexandria smiled and pulled me close to hug me. “Just be yourself. He loves you, so take one day at a time and stand with him against his demons.” I could do that. Straightening my clothes, I watched as the car stopped but Kane wasn’t driving. Stefan got out of the car and walked toward us wearing an expression that told me something was very wrong. “Why isn’t Kane here? What happened?” I asked frantically. Alexandria took my hand in hers to calm me, but even she was frightened. “Stefan, why you here?” “Abbi, I need you to come with me. I’ll tell you everything, but we need to go.” I read the fear in his eyes and panicked. “What’s happened? Is he alright?” Stefan forced a smile and nodded. “He’ll be fine. We’ll make sure everything’s taken care of, but for now, I need you to come with me.” Turning, I looked at Alexandria, my eyes pleading with her to make Stefan answer my questions. She understood instantly, and said, “Stefan, you need to tell her what happened now. She deserves to know.” He took a deep breath and held out an envelope. “Here. This is for you.” As Alexandria demanded to know what was going on, I walked away with what I knew was a letter from Kane. My hands trembling, I opened the envelope and began to read his words, my heart breaking with each one.

Dear Abbi, I wanted to come get you and take you home to our little house, but you and our child are better off without me. That first night we were together I told you I’d hurt you because I hurt everyone. All my life I’ve known I was born to hurt. I can’t change, no matter how much I wish I could. I’m no good, and you and our child deserve better. I thought life had given me you to show me I wasn’t supposed to be alone, but I messed everything up and that will never change. I’m a murderer. A killer who can’t even say he feels bad about the men he’s killed. I love you. I never meant to hurt you. It’s just who I am. I’m sorry. Kane “Abbi? What is it?” Alexandria asked as I stood stunned by Kane’s goodbye. “He’s not coming.” I let the letter drop from my hand and covered my face as I sobbed the truth. “He’s not coming for me.” “Stefan, what’s going on?” “I don’t know. All I know is that Cash found that letter under his door at the condo and told me to come get Abbi and get her back to the house as soon as possible.” “Where’s Kane?” “We don’t know. His rooms at the club are locked up. I banged on the door, but got no answer.” “I want to go there,” I said as I scooped Angel up into my arms. “He’s there and he’s hiding away from the world. I need to go to him, Stefan.” “The club is closed, Abbi. The place is just an empty building now.” “He’s there. I know it. I need to go there.” I kissed Alexandria goodbye and as I rode off to find the man I loved, I silently promised Kane I’d be the one person in his life who’d prove to him love didn’t have to hurt.

Epilogue

Kane I SAT STARING AT THE white cinder block walls of my rooms as the alcohol finally began to take effect after nearly a bottle of whiskey and prayed for some release from my mind’s racing about Abbi and the baby we were having. A tiny voice in my head screamed for me to go to her, but I knew better. She didn’t need someone like me. I only brought pain, and she didn’t deserve that. And no child deserved a man like me for a father. Not that I had any real frame of reference for what a good father was. Cassian March III wasn’t exactly the kind of role model a man wanted. A selfish bastard, his claim to fame seemed to be his skill in getting women to fall for his game. I never wanted to be like him. All I wanted at that moment was to black out so at least I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of not having Abbi by my side or think about all the shit my mind wanted to use to fuck with me tonight. I didn’t need to beat myself up again over the mess my parents had been and why I was like I was. Closing my eyes, I especially tried not to think of my father, but the few memories I had of us together had different ideas about how I should spend my time drunk off my ass. He stood by a black Mercedes dressed in a grey three piece suit that likely cost more than what my mother made in a month at the diner. Tall with black hair and blue eyes just like me, he’d likely have a hard time convincing anyone he and I weren’t father and son. “Kane,” he said in a deep voice as he waved me toward him. I didn’t know what to call him. Father sounded wrong, as did dad. Dads tossed baseballs around with their sons in the backyard on sunny Saturday afternoons and taught them how to ride a bike and how to swim. Dads sat at the head of the table for dinnertime and stopped in as you were falling asleep to check up on you. Cassian March III had never done any of those things with me. He’d never done anything with me in the seventeen years I’d been alive. I stopped about three feet from him and stood silently, unsure why I was even there with him. We were strangers, brought together by my conviction and my mother’s impending death. Neither was a good reason to start any kind of relationship since neither would lead to anything. For the next four years, I’d be locked up and the woman he’d once loved enough to have a child with would be dead. Maybe he was hoping for me to say thank you for paying for my lawyer. I had to admit the guy was good. Four years for premeditated murder. I wondered what he’d gotten Cassian March out of if he could do that for me. “Kane, I’m glad you came, son.” I felt my eyes grow big at that word. Son. I was that, not that he’d ever noticed much. “What did you want to see me for?” My terse answer surprised him, and like mine always did, his eyes grew big for a moment before he regained his composure. “I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she’s not suffering.” “They have her on strong drugs, so she’s not much of anything anymore.” His blue eyes so much like mine stared at me, and for a second, I was struck by how much he reminded me of myself. Did my eyes ever look that cold?

“Well, I’m sorry. We may not have been on good terms for a long time, but…” His sentence faded off, and I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “But what? You loved her? If that was the case, I think you would have wanted to see me before this, or is it that you loved her but didn’t want anything to do with me?” “Is that what she told you?” I shook my head in disgust. I didn’t come here to do the whole true confessions I loved you from afar bullshit with him. “She never told me anything other than the night she told you she was pregnant with me, you left her and she knew she should name me Kane because I caused pain from the very beginning.” He couldn’t hide the horrified look that came over his face at hearing the truth, but I saw those cold blue eyes soften as he said, “I didn’t leave her because of you. It’s hard to explain, but it was never because of you. When you were born, I offered to take you, give you my name, and bring you up with my son. She refused. She said you were hers. Even if I wanted to go back to her, I couldn’t, but I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t want to.” “Nice. At least I don’t have to wonder anymore if her hatred of you is deserved. Thanks for answering that question.” He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I didn’t want to go back to her, but I wanted you to have the kind of life I could give you. That should count for something.” Hanging my head, I said quietly, “Yeah. You got her pregnant and then didn’t feel like doing the whole family thing with her. I get it. Is this what you wanted to meet with me for? To tell me I was wanted but she wasn’t?” “You have two brothers I’d love for you to meet, Cassian and Stefan. You and Cassian are about the same age. Stefan’s a couple years younger. I guess I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone.” “I’m sure your wife would love that. Bring the bastard child to dinner and see how that goes. Sounds like a great time, but as you know, I’m going to be a little busy for the next few years.” He winced at the mention of my upcoming incarceration, and a frown settled into his features. “I know. My lawyer did the best he could, Kane. I know four years sounds like a lifetime now, but it could have been worse.” “I know. I’m lucky they only gave this monster four years.” Shaking his head, he frowned even deeper. “That judge was way out of line. You aren’t a monster. You just did something because of what that man did to your girlfriend. But that doesn’t make you a monster.” I leveled my gaze on the man considered my father. “This is who I am. That judge called me a monster, but he wasn’t wrong. My demons make sure of that.” “You sound like your mother. You don’t have to be like her. I’m in there somewhere too.” Chuckling at his attempt to act like a supportive father figure, I said, “All I got of you is on the outside, Cassian.” We stood there next to his expensive car in that parking lot as the distance he’d always kept between us shrunk just a bit. It was barely noticeable, but it shrunk all the same. Maybe it was because in just a few days I’d be sent away and my mother would be dead, but I didn’t want to hate him, even though that’s all I’d ever been taught to do. With a look of pride in his eyes, he said, “Well, I’d like to think you have some of me on the inside too, although I do have to admit there’s no denying you’re my son.” I shrugged, unsure of what to say since all I’d ever felt was his denial of everything about me. He reached out and touched my forearm as if he cared that I had nothing to say to that. “I know

your mother has never had a nice thing to say about me, but would it be so bad to be like me in some way?” “I probably wouldn’t mind having your money.” I realized how that sounded as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Not meaning to insult him, I quickly said, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I wouldn’t mind being rich like you.” Cassian grinned as I fumbled over my explanation. “I understand. Someday when I’m gone you and your brothers will get a lot of my money. But I hope you’re more like me on the inside than you think. You don’t have to be angry at the world, Kane. I know it’s been hard, but there’s a lot of good in this world.” I thought about Holly and her love, the only real good I’d ever experienced in my life. For the next four years, I’d have to live without that good. How I’d get through without it—without her love to keep me from becoming nothing but that anger I held inside—I didn’t know. Already I felt myself hardening over as I felt my freedom slowly slipping away. “Maybe you’re right. I just haven’t seen a lot of that good.” “I know it’s going to get a lot a worse for you, but when you get out I hope you and I can have a fresh start.” “Yeah, that might be nice,” I said knowing any promises he made might not ever come true when I was finally out four long years from then. “I better go. I only have a couple more days of freedom. I want to spend as much of that time with Holly and my mother.” “I understand. If you need anything, I’m here, Kane.” He held out his hand and gave me the kind of handshake I’d always imagined my father would give me when I made him proud. Not that I’d done anything to deserve that. But maybe after I got out I might have the chance to do something. Fucking whiskey making me reminisce about things that did no good. My father was gone by the time I got out of prison, dead from a heart attack before he’d even turned fifty and just four months before my release. Fate had fucked me again by dangling the chance to finally get to know him in front of my eyes only to take it away. I left those four years behind to find both my parents and the only person I’d ever truly loved dead and gone. Whatever my father had seen of himself in me I never really knew, but he believed it was inside me and to prove it, he decreed in his will for Cassian, Stefan, or me to get any of his money, we had to work together and make something in this world a success. More a punishment than anything else at first, we’d fulfilled his wish and I’d found two brothers. But I’d never found that something good inside me my father had seen. Now I was going to be a father but nothing had changed in me. Two men dead at my hands and my demons happy to make excuses for my actions. I wasn’t the kind of man a child needed as a father. For all his faults, Cassian March III hadn’t been a murderer like me. I had money and anything I wanted to buy like he had, and if that was all I could offer, at least I could give my son or daughter a better life than I had growing up. But those things didn’t make up for the horrible things I’d done and the demons inside me who would never let me go. Abbi and our child deserved more than who I was.

*

“KANE, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR. I know you’re in there,” Abbi pleaded as she banged on my door. I stumbled off the couch and opened the door to find her standing there looking up at me with her gentle eyes full of sadness and Stefan standing behind her. “Abbi, go. I told you not to come for me. Go back to that little house that’s yours now. I’ll make sure you and our child will never want for anything. But go away from me before you get hurt.” She reached out to touch me, but I backed away. I watched the tears well in her eyes and hated myself, but this was for the best. “Why are you doing this? You said you’d come for me. Why did you send Stefan instead?” she asked as the tears began to roll down her face. Shooting him an angry look, I said, “I didn’t send Stefan. I told Cash to make sure you got home, not to bring you here. You need to go.” “I don’t want to go. I love you. I’m carrying your child. Don’t you love me anymore? Is it because of what I wrote in that letter? I was just being stupid. I wasn’t sure a child was something I could handle, but I know I can now. I can do this, but I can’t do it without you.” I pushed the door to close it and said, “I’m not what you need. I can give you all my money, but you don’t want me around when the baby comes. Go.” Abbi pushed all her weight against the door to stop it from closing and in my drunken state, I didn’t fight her. I just didn’t have it in me. The two of them came in, and she stood there in front of me sobbing, “I’m not going anywhere. I belong with you, and if that means in these little rooms, then so be it. As long as we’re together, that’s all that matters.” “Stefan, get her out of here. Take her to the house like I asked Cash to do.” His expression told me he thought I was being the world’s biggest dick, but he said nothing. All the better. I didn’t want to explain myself to him too. Instead, he tapped Abbi on the shoulder and said quietly, “I’ll be downstairs if you need me to give you a ride to the house.” As he closed the door behind him, she turned to look at me with those blue eyes that never failed to weaken my resolve. “I’m sorry I ever wrote that letter. I was wrong. Please, just listen to me. I love you, Kane, and I know you love me too.” I hung my head and tried to think of the words to say to convince her she didn’t want me in her life. “Angel, sometimes love isn’t enough. You have a chance now to go wherever you want. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of along with baby. Start a new life like you’d planned before you met me. Just go and don’t look back.” She took my hand and pressed her damp cheek to it. “I told you before I don’t want to leave you. Your demons don’t frighten me. The only thing that scares me is not having you by my side.” “I thought my love for you would be enough to change who I am, but I’m still that monster that judge said I was all those years ago. I can’t promise what happened with Mason and Jethro won’t happen with someone else, and no child should be around that. You shouldn’t be around that.” “What if don’t want to go? Don’t I get a say in this?” I moved my hand from her soft cheek and walked away toward my place on the couch where all I wanted to do was drink enough to forget how much it hurt to tell her to go away. She followed me, unwilling to accept the truth. I said nothing but lifted the bottle of whiskey to my lips for a gulp I hoped would take some of this pain away. “Kane, what happened between when you sent me those letters telling me you missed me and today? What changed?” “Nothing. That’s the problem. Nothing changed. I’m still the same person I was when I killed that man

who raped Holly. The same man who killed Mason because of what he did to you. Why can’t you see that no child should have a father like me?” “All a child needs is love. You love me and I love you. It doesn’t matter who you were in the past. Our son or daughter won’t care what you did. All they’ll know is that you’re the kindest man and you take care of me.” I wanted to believe everything she was saying, but I knew the truth of who I was. She wasn’t going to listen to that, though, so with a lump in my throat, I said the hardest words I’d ever spoken in my life. “Abbi, I want you to go.” She clung to my arm and cried, “No! Don’t do this, Kane! Don’t send me away. I need you!” I stared into her eyes and struggled to do the right thing, no matter how much it was breaking my heart. “You need to go. Have Stefan take you back to the house. I’ll make sure you have everything you need.” “I need you! Why are you doing this?” Standing, I walked to the door and held it open for her. “I’m doing what I said I would. I can’t take the chance that you or the baby could be hurt by me. I’d rather you hate me than me hurt you anymore.” She followed me to where I stood and took my hands in hers, pleading with her eyes for me not to make her go. “I love you, Kane. Please don’t do this to us. I can handle whatever your demons do. Just don’t push me away.” I looked down into that beautiful face so sad from everything I was doing and couldn’t help but want to kiss her. Pressing my lips to hers, I wished so much that I wasn’t what I was and that all her dreams of a wonderful life with me could come true, but I knew better. “This is the way it has to be, angel. I’m doing this because I love you.” “You’re doing this because you don’t want to hurt me, but you’re breaking my heart! Don’t you think that’s hurting me?” she screamed as she beat her fists against my chest. I wanted to take her in my arms and make all the bad we’d been through go away, but I couldn’t because I’d caused it. Whatever hurt she was feeling at that moment would pass. In the end, she was better off without me. Backing away from her, I said quietly, “I’m sorry, angel. I never meant to hurt you.” “Well, you did. I don’t care about your money or houses or anything else. Why can’t you see that?” I couldn’t stand there and watch her cry anymore or I’d give in to my own pain and never let her leave. Hating myself more than ever before in my life, I closed the door and listened as she sobbed that she loved me and would never give up on us. When she finally left to go downstairs to Stefan, I walked to my bedroom and lay down on the blanket I’d spread out on the floor and let the loneliness I’d felt for years come back and take me over. Some people are meant to be alone because all they do is hurt others. I was meant to hurt, no matter how much I wished that wasn’t true. Abbi was better off without me, and someday she’d realize that. If only it didn’t hurt so much to let her go. I couldn’t think about what this did to me, though. You were meant to hurt, Kane. I knew who I was and what my place in the world was. I had no choice. I had to hurt her to save her.

SATISFACTION CLUB X #4

Chapter One

Olivia I MUST HAVE BEEN LOST in some wedding magazine haze when I told Cash I wanted to get married in a traditional June ceremony. Seduced by those glossy advertisements and picture-perfect brides in their gorgeous wedding gowns, I’d totally forgotten about the typical congestion the Tampa area experienced once the summer months rolled around. Five days away and already traffic snarl ups were making driving a mess all over the city. A huge festival combined with a concert and a convention and our little shindig couldn’t hold a candle to them. Every day, the wedding planner frantically reported on more people having a hard time finding hotel rooms and rental cars. Maybe we should have eloped. Cash, thankfully, seemed unfazed by it all, oddly enough. I’d never seen him so calm as since he and his brothers decided to shut down the club. Not that they meant for that to be permanent, but even so, his entire demeanor had changed from tense and worried all the time to so relaxed. It was like he was a new man. At the moment, my new man lay in bed naked looking entirely too enticing for me to leave, despite the fact that I had a nine o’clock meeting with Samantha, the wedding planner who seemed hell bent on making this the worst week of my life. Crawling onto the bed, I kissed Cash lightly on the tip of his nose. “Hey, you. Are you planning to just lie around all day like this?” “I don’t know,” he said with a sexy smile. “I figure since this is technically the beginning of our wedding week, I should take it easy. I don’t want to be too tired for the honeymoon. You should follow my lead.” Running his hand up my thigh, he said, “Take off that dress and get under the covers with me.” I sat down on his legs and hung my head. “I wish I could. I have another meeting with Sam. She texted me last night to let me know that she’s been hearing from guests far and wide who can’t get hotel rooms because they waited too long to reserve them and now with all the events going on this weekend, no more rooms are available.” “So they don’t get a room. What do we care about that?” I lifted my head and sighed. Men were so lost when it came to all these details. “We care because they’re our relatives and their families, and if they can’t get rooms, they might not show up to our big day.” Cash cradled my face in his hands and sat up to kiss me tenderly on the lips. “Will you and I be there?” I nodded. “Well, then that’s all that matters to me, other than the minister who’s going to do the marrying. I don’t care if anyone else is there.” “I think state law requires that we have at least two witnesses,” I said, half-jokingly. Cash’s idea of our perfect wedding was beginning to sound pretty good. “Then Stefan and Josie will have to be there too. Since they don’t need hotel rooms, problem solved.” “I wish it was that easy, Cash. This is the biggest day of our lives. Well, my life. I know you’ve done this before, but I wanted this to be the perfect wedding. Now it seems like it’s all going to hell before my

eyes.” “The last time didn’t count for me, so this is the biggest day of my life too. I just don’t care if anyone else is there. The only person I care about is right here. If you tell me you want to run away and elope tonight, I’m in the car ten minutes from now wondering what’s taking you so long. It’s just you and me in this, Olivia. All that other stuff is window dressing.” Looking away, I mumbled, “I know, but I wanted all the other stuff to go perfectly and it’s all a mess.” “A few relatives stuck sleeping in their cars isn’t a mess. Even the two of us sleeping in the Maserati isn’t a mess,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re not taking this seriously at all, are you?” I asked as I glared at him. He shook his head. “No. All I take seriously is how much I can’t wait for you to be my wife. The rest of it I leave to Samantha, the high-strung wedding planner from hell.” “Do you promise no matter what, no matter how big a disaster it is, that come Saturday we’ll be married?” Cash pulled me to him and smiled in that way that never failed to make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. “I promise. It’s just you and me, baby. You and me. Never forget that.” “You and me,” I repeated. “Okay. I’m off to see Samantha to find out what we can do about our stranded relatives. Do you think if worst comes to worst a few of them can stay here?” He narrowed his eyes to slits and groaned. “Only if I’m staying at a hotel. The last thing I want is outof-town relatives surrounding me all week.” “You’d leave me here to entertain them?” Sliding his hands down my back, he held me close. “No way. If they’re here, you and I are enjoying a deluxe suite somewhere. Remember, it’s you and me, right?” “Okay. You and me. At a hotel. While my Uncle Jim and Aunt Elizabeth and their three kids hang out here at our condo.” Terror flashed in Cash’s eyes. “Three kids here?” “Yeah, but they’re adorable little girls, not terrors like you and Stefan were when you were young.” Leaning back, he sighed in relief. “Oh, okay. Not that I don’t love kids. I can’t wait for us to have a whole baseball team full. Just not here in this condo, though.” My heart skipped a beat and not in a good way. “A baseball team full? What’s that like, a dozen? That seems like something you might have wanted to mention before you asked me to marry you, don’t you think?” Cash moaned and lifted his hips off the bed to let me feel his excited cock. “I think we should get busy starting on it right now, in fact.” “Mr. March, I have to meet with our overexcited wedding planner, so beginning this team of yours is going to have to wait. When I get back, we can talk about this dozen or so kids you want.” I moved to get up and Cash playfully slapped me on the ass. “Nine on the field is what I meant, but talking isn’t how we’re going to get that team I want, Miss Lucas.” “Time to get out of bed, coach. When I get back, we need to head over to your mother’s, remember?” Cash rolled his eyes and waved me off. “I remember.” “Well, give me an hour and I’ll be back.” “Got it. One hour and then we’ll work on starting our team.” I slipped a white sweater over my shoulders and pinched his leg under the covers. “An hour and then we’ll head to your mother’s.” “I haven’t spent this much time with my mother since before I was born, Olivia. Is it really necessary for me to be there?”

“Don’t think for a second you’re going to stick me with your mother when she wants to talk about how thrilled she is to see you getting married again, Cassian March,” I said sternly, hoping he understood just how little I wanted to spend my afternoon talking about my wedding with Alexandria. I loved her like a second mother, but a little of anyone’s mother went a long way. Cash’s smile slowly faded away. “What’s wrong? I was just kidding about bowing out of visiting my mother.” I shook my head and pressed a half-hearted smile onto my lips, pretending everything was okay. “Nothing. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just stressed out a little over everything. I’m sure we’ll have a great time at your mother’s.” He waved his hand to beckon me. “Come here.” “Okay,” I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. “Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by my mother. She loves you like the daughter she never had, but I know she can be a bit much at times.” “I know. I’ll be fine.” Cash took my hand in his and lifted it to his lips to kiss it sweetly. “We’ll be fine. You and me, right?” I couldn’t help but smile. He meant well, even if he didn’t know what was wrong. “You and me. Got it. Well, we need to get moving this morning, so time for you to get out of bed and time for me to run out to my meeting. See you in an hour, okay?” “It’s a date,” he said with a sexy smile.

* JOSIE LEANED AGAINST HER SILVER Volvo waiting for me outside of Samantha’s office, and since I was ten minutes late because of Cash, she looked none too happy. As I walked toward her, I raised my hands in hopes that I could offset some of that irritation. “I know. I’m late. I’m sorry. I got tied up.” “Unless you and that man of yours were doing some tying up for real, I’m not accepting your excuse for leaving me standing here for the last ten minutes.” I hung my head. “I’m sorry.” Josie nudged my arm. “Hey, I was just kidding. What’s going on here? We’re into the final leg of this wedding and you’re all mopey. Do I have to bitch out dear Samantha about her late night texts of bullshit?” “No, it’s not that,” I said and sighed. “Cash has started talking about kids.” “Oh.” “And it’s all Alexandria seems to be able to talk about too. I don’t know what to do.” Josie pushed my hair off my shoulder and smiled. “The doctor didn’t say it was impossible, did she?” I shook my head and worked to hold back the tears. “She never said impossible. She just told me that the shape of my uterus would make having children difficult.” “Why haven’t you told Cash yet then?” Josie and I began walking toward Samantha’s office. “I didn’t realize until recently that he even wanted children. I mean, I thought since he was such a huge player that he might not even want any. You know, maybe he liked our life as we are now.” “I think you should tell him, Liv. I bet he’d be the same wonderful guy with this as he is with everything else.” “Now he’s talking about wanting a team of kids. And his mother never stops talking about babies. I

swear she thinks of nothing else. You’d think hovering over Abbi would be enough, but no.” “Don’t worry about his mother. As for Cash, what does he mean a team?” “I don’t know. He said something about a baseball team of kids. I think he said that’s like nine. I’ll be lucky if I can even give him one, Josie.” Taking my hand, she gave it a sympathetic squeeze. “You have to tell him, honey. What are you worried about? Disappointing him?” “Of course. What if he decides he doesn’t want someone who may or may not be able to give him any children? What if he calls off the wedding?” Josie stopped short and spun me around to face her. Placing her hands on my shoulders, she frowned and stared into my eyes with a look of determination. “Don’t you dare diminish yourself like that, Olivia Lucas. Cash doesn’t love you because you can make babies or give him some baseball team of kids. He loves you because you’re sweet and generous and make him happier than he’s ever been before.” “But what if he doesn’t want it to always just be me and him? What if that’s not enough?” “Then you adopt or do whatever people do to find a child when they can’t have one. There are millions of children who need loving parents in this world, Liv.” “What if he wants a child of his own and I can’t give him that? What if he wants a Cassian March V? Is it fair to tell him about my problem and still expect him to marry me?” “Don’t be stupid. You can have a surrogate carry a baby. It’s the twenty-first century, for Christ’s sake. We have modern medicine now.” “I don’t think I can sit through another get-together with his mother as she talks about grandchildren like they’re right around the corner. I swear the lady is chomping at the bit for grandkids.” “She’s loaded, so she probably just wants to have someone to spend her money on,” Josie joked. I took a deep breath and thought about what Josie was saying. She was probably right. “Okay. I can do this. I’ll talk to him tonight after we get back from his mother’s house. For now, let’s go meet spazzy Samantha and see if we can find somewhere for all these wayward relatives.” “That’s the spirit. And don’t worry. You and Cash are meant for each other. Nothing’s going to come between you unless you let it.”

Chapter Two

Cassian OLIVIA HELD MY HAND TIGHTLY as we walked up the front stairs to my mother’s house, and even though they’d always gotten along, I sensed something was wrong. She’d been acting strangely since I mentioned begging off this visit, but I didn’t know why. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. “You ready for the interrogation?” She smiled, but it was forced. Something was definitely wrong. “It’ll be fine.” Just as we reached the door, I stopped and pulled her to me. Lifting her chin, I looked down into her dark eyes and saw worry in them. “Hey, what’s wrong? You know my mother loves you. This is friendly territory.” “I know. Just a lot on my mind. You know, wedding stuff.” With my thumb, I traced her beautiful lower lip. “I should just whisk you off right now and kidnap you so we can escape all of this wedding madness. What do you think?” “I think it’s not really kidnapping if I race you to the car.” “I’m not kidding, Olivia. We can be out of town in an hour and on a plane to anywhere in the world in two. Maybe three if you want to go to one of those eastern European countries with three wheeled cars.” She didn’t want to laugh at my stupid joke, but she couldn’t help it. Giggling, she rolled her eyes. “I love you, but you’re insane. We have a wedding in just days and you’re talking about us flying away.” “The offer is open, so just keep that in mind. If this is too much, we’re out of here. My mother can have a big party and entertain them all. She loves that kind of thing.” “We better go in, Cash.” She turned out of my hold, but I pulled her back and kissed her. “I think I should warn you that I have a night of incredible sex planned tonight. You know, before your relatives take over our condo and we have to have hotel sex.” “Really? Thanks for the warning. I better gird my loins.” “See? That’s the spirit, but I think the loin girding would be more useful for what we’re walking into. I’d like your loins open for business tonight, if you don’t mind.” Olivia rolled her eyes. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d think some of the things you say are crazy, Cassian March.” “It’s okay if you think I’m crazy. As long as you still love me, everything will be okay.” “I do.” “Remember those words.” She did more eye rolling as she turned to open the front door. “Girding will now begin. You ready?” Nuzzling her neck, I nodded. “Always. Remember, we’re having a team. That ought to make her happy.” Olivia forced a smile and pushed the front door open, and I was sure as I followed her in that my mother must have said something to upset her when I wasn’t around. Probably something about the seating arrangements, which she’d disrupted about a dozen times already as she insisted on inviting more friends. My mother sat waiting for us in the living room surrounded by papers I had a feeling would mean she either wanted to add more guests to the list or she planned to use our visit to pick my brain about some

investment she wanted to make against the advice of her financial planners. She stood as she saw us come into the house, her brown eyes wide with excitement at seeing us for the third time this week. “Come in, come in! How is the soon-to-be married couple today?” Olivia just smiled, so I filled in the empty space. “We’re great, Mom. Excited and exhausted, but great.” Offering us a seat on the couch, she sat down across from us in her favorite Queen Anne chair. “It’s going to be beautiful. Samantha and I are in constant contact, and we’re ready here. The caterers tell me they’ll be coming bright and early Saturday morning, so you have nothing to worry about there. It’s going to be the most beautiful wedding ever!” My mother’s enthusiasm didn’t seem to be something Olivia shared, if the almost pained look on her face was any indication. Nudging her, I winked in her direction and hoped she knew that my offer to bail on this entire enterprise was open. I loved my mother, but all it would take would be one word and I’d happily run away with Olivia to any place she desired. “I’m sure you and Samantha have it under control, Mom. We can’t thank you enough for letting us have the ceremony and reception here. Right, honey?” Olivia nodded and pressed a smile onto her lips. “Yes, thank you, Alexandria. It’s going to be a lovely wedding, and you’ve helped so much.” My mother reached over and squeezed her arm. “Of course, dear. My home is your home. It’s only right to have the wedding here since you had the engagement party here. That seems like a million years ago, doesn’t it?” It did. So much had happened since then with all of us. “How is Abbi doing?” Olivia asked, obviously hoping to direct my mother to a non-wedding topic of conversation. My mother’s face grew dark, and shaking her head, she said sadly, “Oh, I’ll tell you all about that in a little while. That whole Abbi and Kane situation has me beside myself, Olivia. But first, I have other things to discuss with the two of you.” I felt Olivia tense up next to me and gently took her hand in mine to give it a supportive squeeze to let her know whatever my mother had up her sleeve, it would be okay. I hoped she understood my unspoken meaning that in the end, it was just her and me. Just the two of us, and that’s all that mattered in this circus our wedding had become. “What’s up, Mom?” I asked, truly wishing she would want investment help. She gathered up the papers from the table in front of her and tapped them into a neat pile. “Well, I thought with your wedding right around the corner that I should take care of some details that have been on my mind for a long time. So I met with my lawyer and wanted to show you what I did.” I knew what she was referring to. My mother looked on money how other people thought of air or food. To her, it was a necessity one should never take for granted. That Stefan and I had made more than enough to live comfortably for a long time seemed to escape her attention, but I’d always chalked that up to her still really thinking of us as boys instead of grown men capable of making our own money. “Mom…” She held up her hand to cut me off before I could begin to say once again that she didn’t have to do anything like that. “Cassian March, I’m not going to live forever. A will is absolutely necessary, and you know it. I can’t bear the thought of my sons fighting over my money in front of a judge, likely one I know well. It would mortify me from the grave.” The idea of her being embarrassed by us fighting over her money after she was dead although she never had even the tiniest problem with the kind of club we ran for years amused me. This was my

mother. Sex and what people did between themselves even in a fantasy club she didn’t give a damn about. Her children quarreling over money surrounded by lawyers in a courtroom? That mortified her. “Okay, Mom. We’re all ears.” She handed Olivia a copy of the will and began to explain why she’d left us what she did. “I know you’ve made good money and the two of you are financially independent, but this is March money that came from your father’s hard work and that I’ve taken care of since he died. He always meant for you boys to be comfortable so you could live the life he spent most of his time working toward.” Olivia turned toward me with a look of confusion on her face. “Didn’t your father leave you money in his will? The thing with the three of you having to work together to make something successful in order to receive any of it?” “Yeah, and when the club became a success, we were given the money he left us.” “Exactly, but Cassian, he left me a sizeable amount I need to make sure goes to the ones I love. That includes you two. Now that you’re getting married, I don’t want Olivia to be dependent on anyone. Not that you’re not going to be blissfully happy, but somewhere down the road she may want to invest money in a business or a cause near and dear to her heart and I don’t want her to have to ask anyone for permission to do that.” “Alexandria, that’s so generous of you. You didn’t have to do that,” Olivia said in a stunned voice. My mother leaned forward toward her and smiled. “Yes, I did. You are every bit a member of this family already, and I wanted you to see that. Plus, your fiancé doesn’t understand what it’s like to be the wife of a successful man, but you will and I want to make sure you have as many choices as he does. I’m not saying you two won’t be together forever. I was married to Cassian until the day he died, but I won’t lie. It would have been nice to have some money of my own when he was alive.” I heard the pain from those days in my mother’s voice now and understood why she wanted to make sure Olivia was taken care of. Maybe if she’d had a way to support herself like my father took care of her when he was alive, she would have made different choices when she found out about his infidelities and the children of those affairs. But I wasn’t my father. “Mom, I know what you’re saying, but Olivia doesn’t have to worry.” Her warm brown eyes looked into mine and she nodded. “I know you’re nothing like your father, Cassian. I know. But it can’t hurt to have a little money on the side. My mother used to call it pin money, so think of it that way. It’s just me giving Olivia some pin money after I’m gone.” A little over a million dollars of pin money. I saw Olivia’s eyes grow wide as she saw the amount. “Alexandria, this is too much. I feel awkward about this.” “Then think of it as money you can spend when all those children you and Cassian have are driving you crazy,” my mother said with a smile. Once again, Olivia tensed up next to me, so I quickly moved to change the subject from our future children to Abbi and her current situation. “So how is Abbi, Mom? Is she still at the Anna Maria Island house?” Leaning back in her chair, she shook her head. “Oh, that poor thing! She really is so sweet, and I know Kane thinks he’s doing the right thing by keeping himself from her. I do. God knows that awful mother of his brainwashed him into thinking the worst of himself. For that, I hope she’s rotting in hell right now. But Abbi is devastated that he doesn’t want to be with her. The poor thing cries and cries, and then she spends the rest of the day in bed. My heart breaks for her.” “I’m sure Kane is devastated too,” Olivia said in my brother’s defense. “I know he was so thrilled when I told him about the baby. You should have seen the look on his face. First he was shocked and then

he looked happier than I’d ever seen him before.” “Oh, I know, honey,” my mother said with a nod. “He’s a good person deep down, but all that damage that mother of his did has taken its toll. I still to this day can’t figure out what your father saw in that woman, Cassian. If only she’d agreed to let him bring Kane to live with us when he asked, he’d be so different now. But we can’t change what she did. All we can hope is that he’ll see his way back to Abbi soon. I don’t know what will happen if he doesn’t.” “I think Kane just has to work some things out,” I said quietly, not really understanding what his issues truly were as I’d only just in the last few months found out about his past. “Just give him some time.” “Have you seen him? Stefan said he’s back living in those rooms at the club.” I shook my head. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been so busy with the wedding plans that I haven’t even had a chance to go to see him.” “Is he still going to be a groomsman?” Olivia and I looked at each other for the answer, but neither of us had one. I’d asked Kane to be in the wedding, but with all that had happened, I wasn’t sure he was up to it. “I don’t know, Mom.” The three of us sat in silence for a moment, each no doubt thinking of the misery Kane must have been going through. Here we were planning this elaborate wedding, complete with ice sculptures, champagne towers, and a cake that could feed a Third World country for a month, and just miles away he sat alone in those rooms in the empty building that used to be our club. I’d tried to talk to him right after he sent Abbi away, but in his drunken state he’d wanted nothing to do with me or my help. “Well, we better get going, Mom,” I said abruptly, suddenly needing to be alone with my soon-to-be wife and away from wedding plans and all of Kane’s problems. A look of surprise and then confusion crossed my mother’s face. “So soon? I was hoping we could visit for a little bit before the wedding, which is just a few days away.” As if we were reading one another’s minds, Olivia and I stood in unison. “I wish we could, Mom, but we have a million things to do before Saturday. Once all this wedding business is finished and we get back from our honeymoon, I promise we’ll come visit.” She smiled up at us and with a twinkle in her eye said, “I’m hoping that you’ll come back with news for me about a grandchild, you two. You’re taking an extended honeymoon, so you’ll have more than enough time to work on a family. Have you begun to look for a house since you’ll have to leave that condo with a new baby?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia’s face contort into a look of terror. She graciously begged off answering the question of a baby and basically racing through our honeymoon to get home to be pregnant, but I saw as clear as day that my mother’s suggestion of us starting a family had rankled Olivia. “Bye, Mom,” I said nicely as we moved to leave, uncomfortable with how quickly she had us trading in our newlywed bliss for diaper duty and sleepless nights.

* QUIET SINCE RETURNING FROM VISITING my mother, Olivia stood in the doorway to our bedroom as I checked our reservations for the trip. Hoping to find out what was wrong without directly asking her, I said casually, “My mother seems to have really taken to Abbi, almost like a daughter. I always thought she wanted at least one girl after Stefan.” “Your mother seems obsessed with Abbi and that baby. Letting her live out at the Anna Maria Island house and basically taking her under her wing,” she said sharply as she turned to head into the bedroom.

Something was definitely wrong. Olivia had always loved my mother. Never before had she said anything even the slightest bit negative about her. Closing my laptop, I followed her into the room and found her already in bed. I crawled under the covers next to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “Everything okay? You seemed on edge at my mother’s today,” I whispered into her ear as I squeezed her to me. As she had out at the house, she tensed up. “I’m fine. Just worn out with all this wedding stuff.” I snuggled next to her and buried my face in her long red hair, loving its vanilla and flowers scent. “It will all be over soon and then we’ll have nothing but time alone on our honeymoon. I can’t wait.” “Yeah, me too, Cash,” she said flatly. “I think I just need to get some sleep. I’m sure I’ll be better in the morning.” Turning over, she kissed me quickly on the lips and rolled away from me. “Night.” Clearly, she wasn’t feeling in the mood to talk about whatever was wrong, and she wasn’t interested in subtly letting me know either. I didn’t blame her, though. Between dealing with the wedding planner and all this talk of children we were supposed to have, it was no wonder Olivia felt more pressure than I did. For me, all getting married really involved was having the right tux and making sure Stefan had the ring when we got to our places at the altar. For Olivia, it meant everything from repeated fittings for her gown, dealing with seating charts and irritating relatives who didn’t seem to understand this was our day and not theirs, and every other little thing that came with this wedding. Kissing her softly on the shoulder, I whispered, “I love you” and rolled onto my back, my mind traveling back to a day long ago, a day with my father I’d never forgotten. His blue eyes stared down into mine with a look that told me he meant business. “Cassian, you stay in the car and I’ll be out in a little while. Don’t get out of this car. Do you understand me?” I nodded as he locked all the doors around me and closed his driver’s side door. That my father trusted me and all of my ten years to stay alone in the car meant the world to me, and as I watched him walk up the sidewalk into a house that was less than half the size of our house, I was proud that he believed in me. For a half hour, I sat there in the front seat—the seat of honor, as far as I was concerned— watching the front door to that tiny house and waiting to see my father. Children played in the yards to the left and right of the house, but no one played in the yard in front of me. When he finally opened the door to come back out, his face was even more serious than usual, and I wondered what could have happened to make that happen. By the time he sat beside me again in the driver’s seat, his frown had changed back to the smile I was used to seeing and he turned to face me. “Cassian, I don’t want you to tell your mother where we went today. Do you understand?” “Yes.” “It would hurt her if she knew, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her.” He stared intently at me, as if he wanted me to believe him, and I nodded. “Okay, Dad. I won’t tell her.” As we drove back toward our house, he said quietly, “Cassian, I hope someday you find a woman as wonderful as your mother.” He stopped and then added, “And I hope you’re smart enough to see how wonderful she is.” I stared up at the ceiling as that day when my father took me to one of his mistress’s houses replayed in my mind. I didn’t really understand at that time what he meant, but years later just before he died he said those words once more. I wasn’t sure I even understood what he meant then either.

But I understood now. My father lay in his bed, a shell of his former self. The man I’d always known as so full of life now looked defeated by the cancer that had ravaged his body. His blue eyes still sparkled, though, as he looked up at me. Alone with me for one of the few times that last day, he seemed to want to speak to me about something. “Cassian, do you remember that day I took you for a drive and we stopped at that house?” he asked in a raspy voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, Dad. I was about ten.” “Do you remember what I said to you when we drove away from there?” I thought about it and shaking my head, I lied. “No. I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath in, and wincing, exhaled slowly before he said, “I told you that I hoped someday you’d find someone as wonderful as your mother and that you’d be smart enough to see how wonderful she is. I’m not going to be around to see you with that person, but I want you to always remember what I’m saying here. Find someone as wonderful as your mother and don’t make the mistakes I’ve made because if she has any sense she’ll leave you if you do what I did.” “Okay, Dad.” “Don’t be like me, Cassian. You’ll miss too much along the way.” I turned to listen to Olivia lightly snore next to me and hoped wherever my father was that he saw I hadn’t made the mistakes he’d made. I looked like him and carried his name, but I’d learned the lesson he’d wanted me to and found someone as wonderful as my mother. And in just a few days I was going to make her my wife.

Chapter Three

Kane ROLLING OVER, I BURIED MY head in the pillow as the floor pushed hard against my ribs. Still drunk from the night before, I felt my stomach churn from all the alcohol I’d sent down my throat and for a moment I worried I might puke right there in my makeshift bed. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then I took another, hoping to put off getting sick. This was my life now. Not that I didn’t deserve it. Fuck yeah I deserved it. Nobody was arguing with that. I deserved to spend my nights laid out on a beat up wood floor that made my back feel like shit. Fuck, I deserved to be in jail, so having to spend time in my shitty rooms at the club was way more than I should have. This was how I spent my time when I wasn’t so fucked up that I blacked out. Well, that wasn’t altogether true. When my eyes were open, I either beat up on myself or missed Abbi so much my chest hurt like someone was carving out my heart with a dull-edged knife. God, why did I ever think I should have someone so gentle and sweet in my life? I rolled over onto my back and covered my eyes with my arm. I had no idea what time it was or even if it was day or night. And I didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. Not without Abbi. If only I could just forget her. At least my life might not be constant torture if I could forget how she looked when she smiled or how her eyes opened wide with excitement when I surprised her with something. Or how she made me feel when I held her in my arms and she told me she loved me. Who was I kidding? How does someone forget the best part of themselves? How can someone forget the only person in the world who brought light into the darkness that surrounded them? I was meant to hurt. This was my life. This had always been my life since the day I was born. I should have never believed I could have someone like Abbi. Every time I thought of her, all I saw was the sad look in her eyes when I told her to go away. That look haunted me day and night. I needed more fucking whisky. Crawling out to the couch, I pulled myself up and sat down as I grabbed the neck of the bottle that had helped me forget for a least a few hours. If only there was a way to drink enough to forget everything. I took a swig of whisky and let it sit in my mouth for a long moment before swallowing hard. I was little more than numb now from the neck down, but my fucking head didn’t seem to be affected. My mind raced with thoughts I just wanted to go away. If I could stop them, I might not wish for things I couldn’t have anymore. My phone vibrated across the table, and I looked down to see it was Cash calling. Fuck. He and Olivia were getting married sometime soon and I told him I’d be a groomsman. “What is it, Cash?” I asked in a low voice. “How’s it going, Kane?” I heard the fear in his voice. He didn’t want to hear how it was going for me any more than I wanted to talk about it. “What do you want, Cash?”

“I was just calling to see how you were doing after everything.” Jesus Christ. After everything? This was the brother I was close to and even he couldn’t bring himself to say how fucked up things with me had gotten. “I’m fine. Just fucking fine.” The phone went silent for a long time and then he said, “Olivia and I are hoping you’ll still be at the wedding.” “I don’t know, Cash. You don’t want me to be there feeling like I am now. Maybe it would be better if I stayed away.” “Are you saying that because you think Abbi will be there?” I winced as the sound of her name hit my ear, my chest feeling like someone pushed that dull knife into it again. “I have to go.” “I don’t think she’ll be there, Kane. She’s out at the Anna Maria Island house and I don’t think she’s feeling up to a wedding.” I wanted to ask why, but that wouldn’t help anything. Instead, I just said, “I don’t want to ruin anything for you two. Olivia deserves better than that from me. You do too.” “Kane, it would mean a lot to us if you’d be there.” Closing my eyes, I took another drink of whisky. “Okay. I can’t do the bachelor party thing with Stefan and your friends, though.” “Okay. I’ll see you out at my mother’s house on Saturday at noon. The tux is waiting for you at the store.” Hanging my head, I muttered, “See you then.” “Kane, if you need anything, we’re here. Stefan and I and everyone else is here for you.” “Yeah. See you Saturday, Cash.” I knew I should have just thrown the fucking phone away from me, but I stopped to look at the screen and saw the messages that had come in since the last time I checked. Abbi’s messages. She sent them every day. Everything in my head screamed not to read them—to just let them sit there unread so I could pretend all that hurt and sadness she felt wasn’t waiting for me to see. But like some kind of fucking masochist desperate to feel pain, I opened the first one and read the words, my heart feeling like a fist was squeezing the life out of it. Please answer me. I know you’re scared. I am too. But I need you.

A lump formed in my throat. “I need you too, angel.” I read each text, my heart breaking with each one, but nothing she could say would change my mind. She didn’t need me in her life. She needed a man who could make her life better. Not me. All I’d do is hurt her. Choking back my sadness, I read her last message of the day. I know you love me like I love you. I don’t know how you can do this and not hurt so much you want to die. Please come back to me. I need you now more than ever. We need you Kane.

I knew exactly how she felt. Some nights as I lay there in the same spot where I’d held her in my arms that first night all I could think of was finding a way to end the pain. I didn’t know why I didn’t end it all. It’s not like I had anything to look forward to. No child needed a father like me. What if it was a little girl and in a fit of rage I hurt her? My hands curled into tight fists at the thought of me laying my hands on another human being. I hated what I was. A violent animal unable to control his rage. My child didn’t need me in his life. His life. What if the baby turned out to be male and had the same problems I had? Terror tore through my mind at the idea of my child being a monster like me, and I dug my

fingernails into my palms until the pain made me wince. No. Abbi would be the kind of mother who’d make sure he wasn’t vicious. Her kind and gentle way would make the difference, as long as I wasn’t with them. At least then they’d have a chance at happiness. I downed another gulp of whisky and silently prayed it would be the one to make me black out. Something, anything to make my mind stop thinking about things I couldn’t change.

* THE ANNA MARIA ISLAND HOUSE stood like some kind of fairytale castle in front of me, and as I stared up at the dark windows of Abbi’s room, I had to fight the urge to march right up there and take her in my arms. I knew I shouldn’t be there. Nothing good could come from me being where Abbi was. And yet there I remained, wishing I was anyone but the man I was so I could do exactly what she wanted. How wonderful it would feel to hold her in my arms again and tell her how much I loved her. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the reality I couldn’t bear forcing on her. She was better off without me. I leaned against my car and tilted my head back to look up at the stars. The night sky had never been clearer, and the millions of stars above me made me want to make a wish like I used to when I was a little boy. Back when I’d wish for my father to leave his family and come live with my mother and me. Wishes so desperate I couldn’t tell anyone but the night sky what I really wanted. On a whisper, I recited those words my mother had taught me. “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.” Closing my eyes, I let myself want what I couldn’t have. Shouldn’t have. Abbi and me happily living in that little house of ours like I dreamed we could have before the truth of who I was had shown me that was impossible. Breakfasts in bed after I’d held her in my arms all night. Seeing the sunset as we sat on the front porch while the neighborhood kids played hide and seek. Sitting together on the couch like other married couples watching TV and loving every minute of domestic bliss. None of that could happen because none of that ever came true for someone like me. But it could for Abbi. Life didn’t have to be misery for her. Someday she’d find some nice guy with a nine-to-five job who would take care of her and give her the life she deserved. Jealousy pinched at my heart as I thought of her with anyone else. I hated the mere idea of her with another man. I wanted to scream into the night that she was mine. That I could take care of her and our child. But I knew that wasn’t true. I couldn’t give her what she should have. All my money would never be able to buy her the security she and a baby would need. All they’d get from me is the constant threat of what I might do if my demons took control of me. No sunsets. No sunny days at the beach or teaching our child how to ride a bicycle. None of that could happen because I couldn’t promise her I’d control the darker part of me that could ruin a life in seconds. That had ended two lives already. I longed to see her. I wanted to touch her long blond hair and twirl it around my finger as she rested her head on my chest. I wanted to never let her go. I knew I shouldn’t want things I couldn’t have, but something deep inside me urged me on to try, so I slowly walked up to the front porch, telling myself that if the door was open that meant I should go in. My hand shook as I reached for the doorknob, my heart leaping in my chest when I found it unlocked. I pushed the door and stepped inside, careful to be quiet since although Alexandria likely wasn’t

there, the caretaker of the house certainly would be. Silently, I crept down the main hallway as I hoped each footstep wouldn’t hit a creaky floorboard and alert the house that I was there. At the stairs where Alexandria had told me for the first time ever that I wasn’t a mistake she hated, I waited for someone to stop me, clearing my throat as I silently made the deal with myself that if no one heard me I’d go up the stairs. I waited, but still no one came. With each stair I took, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I shouldn’t have been there. Nothing had changed. But there I was making my way to Abbi’s room. I had no right to be there. I had no right to see her. Yet I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to see her. Just for a moment. I slowly walked down the second floor hallway to where I knew she slept, a feeling of happiness coming over me that I hadn’t felt in so long. I stopped at the end of the hallway and looked in through the doorway at Abbi sleeping in her bed. She looked like an angel lying there, her blond hair spread out around her head on the pillow and a gentle look on her face. Knowing I shouldn’t, I walked up to the side of her bed and stood staring at her as tears filled my eyes. My mind told me to get out of there, but no other part of my body wanted to listen. My feet remained planted on the floor next to her bed, unwilling or unable to move like they’d been encased in concrete. My legs stayed still, as if to tell my brain that my heart was making the decisions now. I couldn’t stay there. I had to go. But all I wanted to do was climb into bed next to her, wrap my arms around her, and whisper in her ear, “I’m here, angel.” What would happen if I did stay? Maybe I could be what I needed to be for Abbi and the baby. She believed in me, so maybe I was the one who was wrong. I lifted my hand to touch her cheek, but a tiny voice in the back of my mind whispered, “You’ll only hurt her, Kane. She has a chance—a real chance—for a happy life. If you love her, let her have that chance and walk away.” Slowly, I pulled my hand back and winced as the truth reverberated in my head. I would only hurt her if I came back now. I loved her too much to let that happen. I knew my place in the world, and it couldn’t be by her side. Backing away, I took one last look at her as she slept so peacefully and hurried out before she saw me. I needed to get the hell out of there. By the time I reached my car, my mother’s words echoed in my ears over and over. You were meant to hurt, Kane. Never forget that.

Chapter Four

Stefan THREE O’CLOCK COULDN’T COME FAST enough. All day I’d been dying to talk to Shay, and now that the club had closed, I had nothing to occupy my time until we could Skype. Cash was busy making last minute arrangements for the wedding that weekend, so I couldn’t bother him. And Kane? Talk about a fucking mess. Since he’d bailed on Abbi, all the guy did was sit around and get fucked up all day. Not that I’d suddenly become some kind of teetotaler or anything like that, but trying to talk to him in his current state was a waste of time. Just the other day, I’d called him to ask something about Cash’s wedding, and he’d barely been able to string together three fucking words before he fell apart and began rambling on about people needing to leave him alone and something about that being the way things were meant to be. I sat down on the couch and stared at the TV as I absentmindedly ran through the channels. Trashy talk shows, programs centered on groups of women talking about food, and endless even shittier shows than those popped up in front of me just long enough for me to press the up button on the remote. Fuck, I needed to find something to do now that the club was done. My laptop chimed to let me know Shay was calling, and I jogged over to the table to see her beautiful face staring back at me. Her green eyes looked at me full of love, and her gorgeous smile made me feel like no matter how bad my day had been, it would be better from that point on. “Hey baby! How’s my sexy scientist girlfriend?” “Hi baby! How are you doing today?” I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head. “Bored out of my mind. This guy needs to find something to keep him busy, or he’s going to get into mischief,” I joked, feeling better just hearing her voice. “Mischief, huh?” “I wish you were here, baby. We could spend all day in bed. That sounds much better than watching crappy daytime TV. I’m going crazy here. If I don’t find something to do soon, I’m going to go insane.” Shay frowned and looked away. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do to keep yourself busy, Stefan.” “Hey, what’s going on there? Tell me all about all the sciencey stuff you guys are up to.” Shaking her head, she forced a smile. “You’d just be bored.” “No, really, Shay. I like to hear what you’re doing in Copenhagen. How are your experiments turning out?” I really had no idea what, if any, experiments she and the rest of the people she worked with were doing, but I hadn’t lied. I liked it when she talked about her work. She got a look in her eyes when she spoke about science that made her even more beautiful than she normally was. “It’s pretty involved, so I don’t think we should waste time talking about it since we don’t have much time on these calls.” Her expression told me the truth of what she meant. I wouldn’t understand what she did at work every day, so why bother to try to explain it to me? Unlike all the people who surrounded her there, I was just some stupid guy she claimed to love but more and more didn’t look like she respected at all. “I get it. I’m not one of those eggheads you hang out with in the lab, so I’d never understand. Right?”

“Not again, Stefan. Don’t do this tonight.” “Do what? Feel like shit because you obviously don’t think I’m smart enough to get what you’re doing with your life?” Her frown settled into her face even deeper now. “You know it’s not like that. Don’t say that. I’ve never made you feel like you couldn’t understand what I do.” “You just can’t be bothered to talk about it with me. Why? Because I don’t have a degree, so I must be a fucking idiot, right?” “I’m not having this discussion with you tonight, Stefan. I’m going to go, and hopefully when we talk next you won’t be like this.” “You mean stupid and uneducated?” I snapped, knowing I was only making this worse but not caring anymore. “Goodbye, Stefan.” Before I could say anything else, the screen turned to black and she was gone. Fuck! She was slipping away from me more and more every day, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. If we weren’t fighting about how different we were, we were talking about my family’s problems. It seemed like it had been weeks since either one of us had said I love you. I knew what everyone thought of us together. She had brains and she was drop dead gorgeous, and all I had going for me were my looks and money. They thought someone like Shay deserved a brainiac guy with advanced degrees who wore glasses and a lab coat, not some reformed player who used to own the hottest club in town and now spent his days watching crappy daytime TV while he waited for his intelligent girlfriend to finish her important scientific work to call him. We’d always been more than that, though, but it seemed like in the past couple weeks everything between us had begun to fall apart. Ever since the club closed, she’d seemed distant, like because I wasn’t an owner of Club X anymore, I wasn’t interesting to her now. I needed someone to help me before I lost her forever. Grabbing my phone, I called Cash. Even though I knew he probably couldn’t talk, maybe he could quickly give me some advice on what to do. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask him anything concerning how to keep a woman, but Shay wasn’t some girl I was fucking on the side. I needed the kind of help someone like Cash could offer now that he’d settled down with Olivia. “Stefan, what’s going on?” he hurriedly asked. “Not much. Just wondering how my big brother is doing today,” I said in my best casual voice. “Well, I have this wedding thing that’s going to happen in just a couple days, so I’m pretty much up to my neck in fucking madness. How are you doing?” “You know. Just sitting around bored out of my head. Did you know that virtually every channel has crap on it during the daytime?” Cash sighed. “No, I didn’t. As much as I’d like to stay on the phone and chat about the merits of daytime television, I really don’t have the time right now, Stefan. And on top of everything else Olivia and I are dealing with, I’m worried that Kane won’t be able to get himself out of his stupor to make it to the store to pick up his tux so he can be a groomsman.” “Yeah, well he’s a mess, so I wouldn’t count on him.” “If you have the time, can you go over to the club and see what you can do to help him? It means a lot to Olivia and me that he’s there for our big day.” “I don’t know, Cash. I’m not exactly his favorite person these days. He was pretty pissed when I brought Abbi over there.” “It would be a huge favor to me if you’d do this, Stefan. You obviously have the time since all you’re

doing is critiquing bad television shows.” “I guess,” I said as I felt my chance to get Cash’s opinion on what to do with Shay slip away. “We’re still on for Friday night for your bachelor party, right? One last hurrah before you give up the good life forever.” “Yeah, we’re still on. Kane already told me he can’t make it, but we’re good. Just see what you can do about getting him out of his funk enough to be at the wedding.” I wanted to tell Cash that I’d rather cut my left arm off and beat myself with it than spend time with Kane, but he seemed really serious about having him at the wedding, so I bit the bullet. “You got it, big brother. I’ll take care of it.” “Thank, Stef. Olivia and I really appreciate this. I’ll see you tomorrow night at your condo, right?” “Right. I’ll let you know how the whole Kane thing goes, but don’t worry. He’ll be there for your big day. By the way, is Abbi going to be there?” Cash hesitated a moment and then said quietly, “No, I don’t think so. Mom said she’s feeling pretty bad.” “That might be a good thing. I don’t think Kane could handle seeing her now.” Cash and I talked for another minute before I left for the club, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to convince Kane to clean his act up enough to be there for Cash and Olivia. Just in case, I grabbed his tux from the store on the way, hoping that if all he had to do was shower and make himself look presentable, he might be able to pull it together in time for the ceremony.

* FIVE MINUTES OF BANGING ON his apartment door and still he hadn’t answered. “Kane! Open the door. It’s Stefan.” “Go away!” Not exactly a good sign, but I had to try to get him straightened out. Cash and Olivia were depending on me. “Open the door. I just want to talk.” Nothing. God, he wasn’t going to make this easy. I banged on the door again and jiggled the doorknob only to find it open. Maybe this wouldn’t be impossible after all. Two steps into his apartment and I knew Cash had underestimated how far gone Kane was. The place was never much to look at, but now it had a skid row feel to it that made me think I might need a tetanus shot after I left. Dirty dishes encrusted with what looked like entire meals sat in the sink, and even as a bar manager I’d never seen so many empty alcohol bottles in one place. Kane sat on his couch in just a pair of jeans with a full bottle of Jack in his hand. His face looked like he hadn’t shaved in over a week, his beard nearly fully grown in. “Jesus, Kane. What the fuck is going on here?” He spread his arms out to his sides, splashing whisky down his chest, and grinned like a madman. “Welcome to Chez Kane! Sit the fuck down and tell me about your fantastic life, Stefan. I’m dying to hear about it.” The desperate, almost manic, sound of his voice told me he had no interest in hearing about anything I had to say, but I draped his rented tux over one of the kitchen chairs and sat down across from him, hoping I could at least convince him to clean up for Cash and Olivia’s big day. He’d always liked Olivia, and between the two of us half-brothers, Cash was definitely his favorite, so if I found the right words to say he might be willing to put aside his misery for a day to make them happy.

“Cash and Olivia are worried about you, Kane. It means a lot to them that you’re there for the wedding on Saturday.” He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. “How nice that both my brothers have found happiness in life. I couldn’t be happier for you.” “We’re going to have to work on making that sound less like you want to end it all and more like you mean it, but it’s a start. I picked up your tux, so all you basically have to do is shower and shave that fucking beard that looks like something might be nesting in it and I think you’ll be in business.” Opening his eyes, he turned his head to stare daggers at me. “What are you doing here?” “I think I just told you. Cash and Olivia are worried about you not making it to their wedding and you’re supposed to be a groomsman, so he sent me to see how you’re doing.” “So he sent the frat boy to tell me it’s time to straighten my life out?” he practically hissed at me. “I’m going to give you a pass on that one since you’re a completely fucked up mess, Kane.” He rolled his eyes and took a drink from the bottle in his hand. “Thanks for the newsflash, Stef. You always were smart.” “Yeah, whatever. So are you going to be able to pull your shit together and your head out of your ass in time for Olivia to walk down the aisle?” Kane’s eyes narrowed to angry slits. “Is that what you think this is? You think all this is just me having my head up my ass, Stef?” This was definitely not going well. I needed to do something to diffuse the situation. Pasting a smile on my face, I shook my head. “No, Kane. It’s okay. We all feel this way sometimes. I know you and Abbi will patch up whatever went wrong and be fine.” Leaning toward me, he flashed me a look of pure rage and bellowed, “Patch things up? So now she and I are just going to patch things up? You think it’s that easy, do you? You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about!” I wasn’t in the mood for his shit and snapped back, “Whatever, Kane! I don’t know what your fucking problem is, okay? Is that what you want to hear? All I know is what I saw that day I brought that poor girl here to see you and watched you act like an asshole toward her! She’s fucking pregnant, and all you can do is sit here drowning your sorrows like you’ve just been told someone goddamned died!” “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Stef, so just keep your opinions to yourself.” “I know what I saw. Abbi cried all the way back to my mother’s house because the asshole who got her pregnant couldn’t be bothered to even be nice to her. She’s all fun until she makes you stand up and be a man, Kane.” “Shut the fuck up and go back to your happy life with that girlfriend of yours you don’t deserve, Stefan, and leave me alone.” I stood to leave, fed up with his bullshit and not even caring anymore if he showed up at the wedding or not. But I wasn’t going to let him attack me without saying something back. “I may not deserve Shay, but at least I’m not a dick to her when she needs me.” Kane waved me off and took another gulp of whisky. “What the fuck would she need you for? You’re a plaything for that kind of woman. I told you from the first day I met her she’s out of your league. It’s just a matter of time before she realizes that. And then you can tell me how it feels to lose everything you care about in this life.” His words made me stop dead, and I turned around to see him grinning like he knew the truth and I was just some stupid jackass who couldn’t see the writing on the wall. “You don’t know shit about Shay and me, so shut your fucking mouth before I do what I should have done a long time ago. I came here to make sure you’re okay to come to the wedding because Cash and

Olivia care for some reason if you’re there or not. Personally, I couldn’t fucking give a damn what happens to you. You’re an asshole, Kane.” “Fuck off, Stefan. Go back to your life and make sure you keep that girlfriend of yours happy or some guy who’s more than looks and a bike is going to show her you’re nothing but a frat boy who’ll never be enough for her.” That fear that what he said about Shay was the truth made something snap inside me, and I let my anger over my fight with her take me over. Lunging at him, I slammed my fist into his face like I’d wanted to so many times in my life. Caught off guard and still holding the bottle of Jack in his one hand, he crashed back against the couch, so I landed a few solid punches to his jaw and cheekbone before he sent the bottle flying and regrouped to fight back. Kane’s size usually gave him the upper hand in our sparing, but after drinking so much, even his best punches barely affected me in my state of rage. He caught me on the jaw and on the cheek, but with so much adrenaline pumping through me, the blows barely registered in my brain. I hit him for what he said about Shay and me. For all the years of ass busting. For being a dick to Abbi. But he got the better of me after a minute or two and threw me off him over the coffee table. I landed on my ass but jumped up fast, ready for round two if he wanted to come at me again. But he was in no shape for any more. He shook his head and wiped his knuckle across his lower lip to catch the trail of blood rolling down toward his chin. “Just go. Leave me alone.” As my heart returned to its normal beat, I suddenly felt as if he’d gotten the best of me. The knot in my stomach that had been there since talking to Shay returned, and my chest hurt, probably from when I flew across the coffee table just a minute earlier. But it was something more too. Seeing Kane like some broken man made me feel like shit. I didn’t want to lose Shay and end up like him, holed up in some crappy rooms drinking myself into oblivion so I wouldn’t feel anything for anyone. “Okay, Kane. I’ll tell Cash you’re not feeling up to a wedding right now.” He said nothing and bent down to pick up the bottle from the floor. I watched him take a gulp of whisky and balance the bottle on his knee as he hung his head and let out a heavy sigh. Nothing I or anyone else could say was going to convince him to come out his funk. Rubbing my jaw to ease the pain that began to sink in, I left him sitting there alone with nothing but the alcohol he wanted to drown himself in. As I drove back to my place, I couldn’t get what he’d said about Shay out of my head. I knew what he said was true. She was out of my league, and it was only a matter of time before she realized that and left me for someone more like her. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Chapter Five

Abbi THE LAST RAYS OF THE afternoon sun streamed in through my bedroom windows bathing everything in sunlight, but all I felt was sadness. Every day I sat out at this house on Anna Maria Island like some kind of modern day princess locked in a tower waiting for her Prince Charming to come rescue her, but he never came. Day after day, I sat on the front porch looking down the road for Kane’s Mustang, and every day right before the sun went down, I climbed the stairs to my room and crawled into bed, my heart broken that I’d have to spend another night without him. I wanted to go to him. I wanted to ask Alexandria to have her driver take me to his rooms at the club so I could march up those stairs and let him know whatever his demons were telling him was all lies and no matter what, if we had each other, that’s all we’d ever need. I believed that so deep in my heart that I knew if I could just talk to him that I could convince him. So every day I texted him, hoping he’d answer and as soon as he did, I’d be in that car and on my way to him. But he never answered. All those messages I’d sent, and never once had he texted not even a single word back. All I needed was one word from him. Last night I dreamed he came back to me. As I lay in bed sleeping, he sat by my side like some kind of guardian angel watching over me. He never said a word in my dream, but I saw in his beautiful blue eyes the pain he felt. At one point, it looked like he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. And then he was gone again and I was left with just a dream of him. I sat on the edge of my bed and wished I could at least cry. Maybe if I could cry I would feel better, but I had no more tears to shed. I still loved him more every day, but I wasn’t so much sad as lonely without him. I knew he loved me, and I had to believe when he finally overcame the power his demons had over him we’d be together again, but what I felt most was how much I missed the simple things he did that made me so happy. The way he slid his fingers over the ends of my hair as he held me in his arms. How he kissed me on the top of my head as I drifted off to sleep. The sound of his deep voice when he called me angel. The intense look of need in his eyes when we made love. What I feared the most was forgetting all those things, though. It had been months since we’d been together, and every day that went by added more distance between us. I refused to believe our love wouldn’t outlast this separation, but what if his demons held on for so long that our child was born and we still weren’t back together? I cupped my hands over my slightly swollen belly and wondered if it was a boy or a girl. In my mind, I imagined a little boy years from now with black hair and blue eyes like his father. He’d be tall, like Kane, but I hoped somewhere inside him he’d have a little of me too. Or maybe our child was a girl with my blond hair and blue eyes. She’d love to twirl and dance and play in the backyard at the house with the squeaky door that Kane hoped we’d live in. I didn’t want to think those things wouldn’t someday happen, but sometimes when I was alone and the house was silent after the caretaker had gone to bed, a tiny kernel of doubt nagged at me and made me worry Kane might never come back. No! I had to believe in him. Now more than ever, he needed me to show him I loved him. Even if it

meant he only heard from me through those text messages I sent each day, he needed to know I still waited for him and my heart was still his. We could weather this storm, and when it was all over, we’d be stronger for it. I had to believe that or I wouldn’t be able to go on. A noise downstairs roused me from my thoughts about Kane, and I heard a voice yell, “Abbi, are you up there?” Alexandria had come to see me early this week. Usually her visits didn’t happen until the weekend, but it was only Thursday. Then I remembered Cash and Olivia’s wedding, and it all made sense. She’d be busy on Saturday and didn’t want to miss our time together. “I’ll be right down!” I yelled, pretending to be happy instead of miserable. I hurried down the stairs to find her waiting for me in the hallway. She appeared happier than usual, flashing me a warm smile as she said, “We’re having a guest tonight. Are you up for a visitor?” My heart leaped in my chest at the word visitor. Had Kane changed his mind and come to see me? “Who?” I asked excitedly, barely able to contain my excitement. “Stefan called and said he wanted to come by and see me, so I told him I’d be out here spending time with you.” “Oh. That’s nice,” I said quietly, unable to hide my disappointment. I liked Stefan well enough and he always had a way of being able to make me smile, but he wasn’t Kane. Alexandria gently touched my shoulder and looked at me with sympathy in her soft brown eyes. “Oh, honey, I didn’t meant to tease you like that. I didn’t think before I spoke. Please forgive me. I never meant to make you think—” “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’ll be nice to see Stefan again.” She took my hands in hers and gave them a squeeze. “Only if you’re up to it. I don’t want you to feel like you need to entertain my son if you’re not feeling well. Stefan can talk to me after the wedding on Saturday, so don’t think you have to say yes.” I couldn’t help but smile. She took such good care of me. “No, I’m fine. I feel good today. The morning sickness seems to be gone, and I’m not even tired as much.” “Then it’s settled. The three of us will have iced tea and the cookies I brought.” “When is he coming?” She took me by the arm and we walked into the kitchen. “He’s on his way right now.” “What if I’d said I couldn’t handle visitors?” I asked and then realized I sounded incredibly rude. “I’m sorry, Alexandria. That was so rude of me. This is your house, so you can have anyone you want to visit.” “Not rude at all. I remember what it was like to be pregnant. If you weren’t up for it, I would have told Stefan he needed to go.” “You’d do that for me?” “Oh, Abbi, of course I would. You’re like the daughter I never had, and someday I hope to be able to call you my daughter-in-law.” “Your daughter-in-law?” How could she think that would ever happen with either of her sons? Cradling my face, she smiled at me. “Yes, my daughter-in-law. I think of Kane like one of my own children, so someday when all of this is over and done with and you two are happy again, I hope you’ll get married.” “I hope that too, Alexandria. I really do.” Stefan arrived a few minutes later, happy to see his mother, and we sat around the kitchen table talking about Cash and Olivia’s wedding and how thrilled the two of them were to see the marriage finally

happen. Stefan was never more at ease than around his mother, and as they told stories about Cash and him as children, I couldn’t help but feel bad for Kane as I remembered what he’d told me of his childhood. Alexandria’s tale about the night the boys tried to make pizza at three in the morning but almost burned the house down made me laugh so hard tears ran down my face, especially when Stefan tried to defend what he called their “first attempt at culinary greatness” and Alexandria reminded him how much it cost to redo the kitchen after the Pizza Debacle. “You sound like you had a wonderful time growing up,” I said to Stefan as he got up to get a drink from the refrigerator. “We did. It was a good time.” “And on that truth, I’m going to bed, dears,” Alexandria said as she stood from the table. “All this talking about the past has tired me out.” “Already Mom? It’s barely nine o’clock,” Stefan said as she bent down to kiss him goodnight. She nodded and turned to give me a kiss on the forehead. “Yes. I’ll leave you two young ones to enjoy the nightlife.” “Yeah, right,” I said with a chuckle. “Pregnant women are always the life of the party.” “Don’t stay up too late, kids. Stefan, if you drink, I want you to stay here tonight. You can drive back to your place in the morning.” “Yes, Mom. I promise I will if I drink. Have to make sure I’m in one piece to be Cash’s best man.” “Exactly. It’s bad enough that you’re likely going to be all bruised. Your jaw’s already swollen. I’m not going to ask what you did to look like that.” Stefan hung his head and said sheepishly, “Oh, I didn’t think you saw that.” “Goodnight.” Alexandria left us sitting alone together in the kitchen, and as I looked at the evidence Stefan had been in a fight that day, I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Curiosity got the best of me, and I asked, “Did you and Cash have a fight?” He shook his head and frowned as he rubbed his jawline. “No, Cash and I are good. This came from Kane.” “Oh? What happened?” “He’s a goddamned asshole is what happened.” Stefan’s outburst surprised me. The last time we’d been alone had been when he drove me back to this house after Kane refused to see me that day, and even then he hadn’t said anything bad about him. That he seemed furious at him now made me wonder what had happened. Suddenly, fear settled into my heart at the thought that Stefan had found Kane with another woman and that’s why he was angry with him. Unable to stop myself, I asked, “Stefan, is he with someone? Is that why you think he’s such an asshole?” My heart sank as Stefan sat silent in response to my question. That was it. Here I was pregnant and waiting for him every day and night to come to his senses, and he’d already moved on to someone else. “No, he’s not with anyone, Abbi. He’s just an asshole.” “Oh.” “He’s basically a fucking drunk these days, and he’s not a pleasant drunk. I can tell you that.” “I’m sorry you fought,” I said, relieved at hearing Kane wasn’t seeing anyone new. “The guy’s not doing right by you, and he thinks he should be telling me how to act with Shay.” I’d never met Shay, but I knew from what Alexandria had told me that she was strong-willed and a real challenge for Stefan. Not that they weren’t happy, but she worried about their relationship because they were both stubborn.

“It’s okay, Stefan. He’s just going through some things.” He rolled his eyes. “For someone whose own life is in shambles, he’s got a lot of nerve telling me that I wouldn’t be able to keep Shay. He’s always thought he knew her better than I do.” “So that’s why you fought?” “Yeah. He’s always thought that Shay was out of my league. And it doesn’t help that they were close so he thinks he’s some kind of expert on her.” Kane had never told me much of anything about Shay and certainly never acted like they were close. All he’d ever said was that she had done wonders for Stefan and that he was a lucky guy to find someone like her. “I didn’t think they were close, but then I’ve never met her.” Stefan grimaced and abruptly stood up to go to the refrigerator. Grabbing a beer, he opened it and chugged half of it down. Taking a seat across from me at the table again, he placed the bottle in front of him and shook his head. “They were always too close for my comfort, but I’m not sure he ever considered her as anything other than a female friend. Sometimes I think there was something—some kind of attraction between them before she and I got together—but I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that he’s always been the one to ride me about her.” “Why does he do that?” I asked, my heart sinking once again as I waited for the answer. “He has this idea that Shay is going to eventually look at me and think I’m not enough. He’s always thought that. Like I’m not smart enough and she’s going to want someone like the guys she works with. Ever since the first day I laid eyes on her, there he was telling me she’d never want someone like me.” “That doesn’t sound like Kane, Stefan. He’s never said anything like that about you to me.” Stefan shook his head and blew the air out of his mouth. “He’s only like that with you, Abbi, and now he’s not even that anymore.” I couldn’t help but wince at his words. No, Kane wasn’t with me anymore, and at the moment, it felt like I didn’t even know the person Stefan was talking about. A look of sadness crossed his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to say you two aren’t together anymore. I just meant…” He didn’t finish his sentence because there wasn’t any other way to say what he meant. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to act like what you said was a problem. You’re right.” “Abbi, I’m sure you and Kane will eventually find a way to get back together, but right now, he’s an asshole who thinks it’s okay to leave you out here to go through everything alone. That’s why we fought.” My gaze settled on the red mark coloring Stefan’s jaw. “You fought because of me?” “In part. Kane and I didn’t get along for a long time, and now that he’s busy spending all his time being a fall down drunk, any brotherly feelings we’d had in the past few months are gone. So I said I thought what he was doing to you was wrong, and he said what he’d always said about Shay so he could hurt me.” “He’s had a lot of bad in his life, Stefan. He doesn’t let himself love easily. But I know he cares about you.” “Then why does he act like I’m some kind of clown Shay will someday get tired of when she decides to go for a real man who can understand her? He never wanted me with her. Instead of helping his own brother win her love, he did everything he could to get in the way. I’d catch him with her when I’d assign her to the fourth floor bar. I’d show up and they’d be laughing and smiling about something, but they wouldn’t share whatever it was with me. I’d stand there feeling like an outsider when he was around.” “Shay picked you, Stefan, so you don’t have to worry. Out of all the people in this world, she loves

you.” “Yeah. But how long is that going to last? She’s smart and strong and out of my league.” I didn’t know what to say to him because somewhere in the back of my mind all the fears I’d ever had about not being enough began to overwhelm me. Alexandria kept telling me I just needed to be strong to be with someone like Kane, but what if I never got strong enough? As Stefan talked about how much he loved Shay, I wondered if Kane really wanted someone like her. She wouldn’t be afraid of anything, and when he needed her to be there for him, he’d never have to worry he might hurt her. Was that why he still didn’t think that Stefan deserved her? Because he wanted her?

Chapter Six

Olivia CASSIAN MUMBLED SOMETHING LOW NEXT to me as I lay awake at three a.m., unable to sleep for yet another night. My mind refused to shut off, instead filling with what ifs about our future. None of this had seemed important for all those months we’d been together, but with Alexandria and now Cash talking about babies twenty-four-seven, all of a sudden what to do about my problem became the only thought pressing on my mind. I’d wished for something to distract me from the wedding planning complications of who to sit at what table and what relatives to avoid inviting because of their past behavior at my cousins’ weddings, but this wasn’t what I’d had in mind. The problem was I didn’t know how to explain to the man I loved who suddenly couldn’t talk about anything but a houseful of children that it was highly unlikely I’d ever be able to give him even one. I’d thought a man who’d been such a player wouldn’t be interested in a life full of kids. I mean, he and I had never even talked about children the entire time we’d been together. But then Alexandria had to bring it up a few weeks ago, and since then, every conversation seemed to include some mention of children. When would we have some? Some! We’d gone from never talking about it to talking about some children. Who does that? Don’t most people start with the idea of one child? I loved Alexandria like a second mother, but the woman’s obsession with babies was making my life hell. I guess I couldn’t blame her. With Abbi’s pregnancy, she likely realized how much she wanted grandchildren, so it would be understandable that she’d look to Cash and me to give her one. Stefan didn’t appear to be anywhere near where he needed to be to consider children, especially since Shay still lived halfway around the world because of her work. So the baby-making naturally fell on our shoulders. Alexandria’s interest in babies could be understood. Cash’s had come out of nowhere. I thought I was marrying one of Tampa’s biggest players, not some sexy guy who secretly yearned to be a doting daddy. I racked my brain trying to remember if I’d missed some opportunity to tell him the truth about my ability to have children, but at no point in all our time together had he even mentioned the word child. All that meant nothing now because Cash had fallen in love with a future filled with children as much as he’d fallen in love with me. So what was I supposed to do? Maybe I could tell him. My chest hurt just thinking about that conversation. He and Alexandria had made such a big deal about someday there being a Cassian March V that I could imagine the disappointment he’d experience from me telling him marrying me might very well mean no children of our own. I had one hope. A final, last ditch effort, so to speak. I hadn’t discussed it with Dr. Gentry since she’d told my mother and me years ago, so I’d made an appointment to see her today, the day before my wedding. If she could give me something to go on—anything more than children being a vague possibility for me—I wouldn’t have to tell Cash his hopes for a son to carry on his name would only be dashed by marrying me.

He stirred at my side and smiled in his sleep, likely dreaming of that baseball team of children he wanted. I loved the idea of a little boy named after him. I really did. He’d be adorable. Hopefully, he’d have his father’s looks since being a redheaded little boy had all the hallmarks of being the unfortunate target of bullies and cruel children intent on making fun of his hair by calling him a ginger or something equally as idiotic. Maybe he’d have my sense of humor and it might be nice if he had my brown eyes. Cash’s blue eyes were nothing less than stunning, but that little bit of me would be nice. God, I was starting to sound like Alexandria! I had to stop thinking like this and face the reality Dr. Gentry might tell me in just a few hours. That children just weren’t in the cards for me. But did I have the right to impose that reality on Cash and his future? “Hey, you look a million miles away. You okay?” I looked over at his sleepy face and nodded. “Yeah, just couldn’t sleep. You know. Wedding jitters.” Wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me close and nuzzled my neck. “You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?” He sounded truly scared of that possibility, so I leaned back and kissed him sweetly on the lips. “No way. I’m not crazy. I’ve got the most incredible man in the world and he wants to marry me.” “It’s true. I am incredible,” he said with a devilish grin. “Cassian, you are too much.” “In all seriousness, though, I saw the look on your face when my mother started to talk about us having kids again. I don’t want you to think we need to rush out and make babies. She’s just enthusiastic about her son finally finding the right woman and settling down.” “So it’s not a huge deal for you?” I asked as relief washed over me. Maybe I’d been worried about nothing. Cash pulled me close and hugged me tight. “Olivia, I love you, not your uterus.” I burst out laughing at the way he said things. “That’s the most bizarre thing you’ve ever said,” I whispered in his ear as I continued to giggle at his choice of words. Rolling me onto my back, he stared down at me with those ice blue eyes I loved. “All I’m saying is I’m not marrying you for children. We’ll have lots of them when the time is right. Until then, I love you and the life we have together.” He kissed me and as my body came alive under his care, my mind couldn’t help but dissect his words. We’ll have lots of them echoed in my head. Lots of kids. A baseball team of kids. Cash slid his hand slowly up my thigh as he murmured sexy sweet nothings about what he planned to do once he reached his goal, but all I could think of was how no matter what he did and no matter how incredible it made me feel, it wouldn’t give him the one thing he wanted from me. “You seem distracted this morning,” he whispered as he kissed his way over one breast to the other. Stopping just before he took an excited nipple between his lips, he looked up at me with one of his sexiest looks and smiled. “Let me take your mind off whatever you’re thinking of, Olivia.” How could I say no? He had no idea my worry wasn’t because of Samantha the wedding planner’s near constant texts about last minute seating problems and stranded relatives. I loved him too much to not try to push my concerns about babies and letting him down out of my mind. I SAT ON THE EDGE of the table in one of Dr. Gentry’s examination rooms swinging my legs nervously as the paper beneath me made that crinkling noise. She’d kept me waiting for twenty minutes already, and with every second I grew more and more anxious to hear what she had to say. The door opened and she appeared again wearing her usual gentle smile that had always comforted

me. She sat down at the desk against the wall and motioned me over to take a seat next to her. “I had Dr. Jacobs take a look at your ultrasound to make sure I was right.” I jumped down from the table and sat beside her. “What did he say?” The time it took for her to turn and look at me before she spoke seemed to take forever, and every horrible fear I’d ever had marched through my mind. When she finally cleared her throat to explain what her colleague said about my issue, I saw in her eyes it wasn’t good. “He doesn’t see anything different than what I’ve seen, unfortunately. I’m sorry, Olivia. It’s not impossible. I don’t want you to think that there’s no chance of you having a baby. It’s just the unicornuate uterus makes it difficult with just one fallopian tube. However, it’s not impossible. I want to stress that.” “Great. I’m a unicorn.” “I know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but I’m not ruling anything out, Olivia.” “Doctor, what if I told you that I haven’t been on any form of birth control for nearly a year and have a very active sex life? Don’t you think I would have gotten pregnant sometime over that year?” She remained silent for a long moment and then nodded. “You remember last year right before Christmas when you told me about that menstrual period that hurt so much you couldn’t get out of bed for two days and bled much harder than usual? I think that might have been you miscarrying. Women with your uterine issue have a much higher risk of miscarriage.” “So that’s even worse. First we have a hard time getting pregnant and then even if we do, we have a higher rate of miscarrying. Terrific.” Dr. Gentry patted my shoulder in sympathy. “I know it sounds bad, Olivia, but please don’t give up hope. Women with uterine problems have children every day. I’m not willing to rule anything out in your case either.” “Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to consult with Dr. Jacobs.” She continued to try to convince me that all was not lost and I could very well be pregnant sometime soon, but I’d heard enough. I had to talk to Cash and tell him the truth. BY THE TIME I GOT back to the condo, Cash was just finishing packing his suitcase for our honeymoon. I’d driven around for almost an hour after leaving Dr. Gentry’s office to figure out how to tell him about my problem, but when I saw him happily folding his shirts and planning for our Italy trip, all those words I’d thought of suddenly seemed inadequate. “Hey you,” he said with a smile as I sat down on the bed. “How was your final meeting with Samantha before the big day?” “Okay,” I lied as I worked to figure out how to begin to say what I needed to. Cash zipped his suitcase and held it up for me to see. “I just want you to know that you only had to remind me three times to get this done, and if I’m not mistaken, your luggage isn’t packed yet.” I forced a smile. “Just three times. That might be a record. So you’re all ready for us to get married?” “All ready. Stefan has the ring, and I’m hoping Kane is coming to the ceremony. Everyone has their tuxes, so the only thing left is for me to get there.” “Oh, the life of the groom,” I said, still unsure how to broach the subject of babies and how we probably would never have any. “What about you? Are you ready?” “Almost. As long as I don’t get roped into another conversation with your mother about babies, I should be fine.” Cash smiled and crawled across the bed to kiss me. “Don’t worry. I’ve told her to lay off the baby talk until the wedding is over. I know you know she meant no harm, but I could see how it affected you

when we were at her house the other day.” “Oh, that’s so sweet of you. I’d just like to enjoy being married before we attempt to have a child, you know?” He lay across my lap and smiled up at me like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I get it, and I’m fine with that. We’re going to have lots of time for all the kids we want, so no hurry.” The moment had finally come when I had to tell him. He deserved to know. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Cash, what if we don’t have kids? Would you still be happy?” “Of course I’d be happy. I know all this talk of kids seems a bit much, but I’m not going to lie. I want kids, Olivia. I want to have a little boy we can name Cassian March V. It’s not a man thing but a family thing. We have the means and I can’t think of a woman I’d rather share this with than you. We’re going to be great parents, and I don’t even mind the idea of having to trade in the Maserati for an SUV. There comes a time in every man’s life when it’s time to settle down. I’m looking forward to doing that with you and once that minister makes it official Saturday afternoon, we’ll go off on our honeymoon and just enjoy one another. And when we come back here, we can focus on building a life together—you, me, and our kids.” He sat up and kissed me as his words repeated in my head. You, me, and our kids.

* JOSIE PEEKED HER HEAD OUT from behind the curtains to look out the bungalow’s window toward where the wedding guests sat for the ceremony. “It’s almost time, Olivia. Most of the guests are already here. You need to get your dress on now.” I wrung my sweat-drenched hands and looked at the gorgeous white silk and lace wedding dress—my wedding dress—hanging on the closet door in front of me. All I had to do was slip it on and walk down the aisle. I loved Cash more than I could say. He was the perfect man and he loved me so completely I sometimes wondered what I’d done to be blessed with him in my life. But I… “Get me my phone. I need to call Cash right now.” Josie’s eyebrows shot up, and she tossed me my phone. “What on earth do you have to say now that you can’t say after you say I do?” His phone rang over and over, but he didn’t answer. As panic quickly rose in me, I texted him. I need to talk to you, Cash. Call me ASAP!

Pacing, I waited for him to call, but my phone did nothing. I waited for two minutes and texted him again. Cash, please call me. I need to tell you something.

“Josie, why isn’t he calling me? I have to talk to him now!” “Honey, he’s probably busy wrangling his brothers. I saw them about a half hour ago when I went to go check on the bridesmaids and they both look like they’ve been using one another as punching bags. Kane is sporting a black eye, and Stefan’s jaw looks like someone took a shot or two at it. They were glaring at one another so bad I thought they’d get into it right there in the kitchen. Don’t worry. Cash will be at the altar when you get there, and you’ll have your whole honeymoon to talk about things.” I looked down at my phone and willed it to ring as I admitted the truth to my best friend and maid of honor. “I never told him that I might not be able to have children, Josie. I can’t marry him if he doesn’t know and if I don’t know he’s okay with that.”

“Then call him, for Christ’s sake! I’m not going to let you leave that man standing at the altar because you’re worried about this. I won’t, Olivia.” His phone rang again, and finally he answered. “Olivia, baby, I’m just about to run out for a burger. Can I call you after?” “Don’t joke, Cash. Why didn’t you call me when I texted you?” “I didn’t see any texts, honey. I’ve had my hands full with Stefan and Kane and only grabbed my phone right now.” “Cash, I need to talk to you. Please.” “Honey, we’ve got three hundred people waiting for us to stand up at the altar in about five minutes. I promise we can talk about whatever you want as soon as we finish this. I’ll be all ears. I swear.” I looked out from behind the curtain to see all those guests sitting in the white wooden folding chairs set out for the ceremony and waiting for us to get married and suddenly I couldn’t go through with it. Cash deserved a wife who loved him and could give him what he wanted out of life. I could only be one of those. That wasn’t enough. “I can’t do this, Cash. I’m sorry.” “Olivia, I love your sense of humor, but now’s not the time. I’ll see you in a few minutes. I’ll be the guy without the bruises standing next to the minister.” “I’m serious. I can’t do this.” The phone went silent and then in a voice full of hurt, he asked, “Why? What’s happened?” “I love you, but I can’t forget how you lied to me about Rachel. We started with a lie and I think you still care about her. I can’t marry you.” I clicked END on the call and turned to look at Josie standing near the window in her pink bridesmaid’s gown with her mouth hanging open. “Get your things. I need to get the hell out of here.” “No fucking way. I’m not letting you do this. You’ve lost your mind, Olivia. Stop and think about what you’re doing. That man is never going to forgive you for leaving him at the altar.” “Then the fact that I can’t give him the children he wants won’t be an issue. Now you can either stay here and deal with the fallout from this or you can come with me. Either way, I’m leaving now before he gets here.” She and I ran out the door and across the yard toward where the guests’ cars were parked and found her car. As she continued to beg me to reconsider leaving, she floored the gas and we raced out of there. I felt like I’d throw up and barely held back the tears, but I couldn’t change what nature had forced on me. Cash deserved a chance to have all the wonderful things he deserved out of life, and that included a family.

Chapter Seven

Cassian AS I LISTENED TO OLIVIA telling me why she couldn’t marry me, I wondered if this was all a nightmare. Why would she think I still cared about Rachel? Since I’d signed the divorce papers, I hadn’t seen or spoken to my first wife and I had no interest in doing either ever again. Olivia knew this. Or at least she should. “Olivia, don’t do this. I don’t know what’s going on, but don’t do this,” I begged. The phone fell silent and I looked down to see she wasn’t there anymore. Olivia wasn’t there anymore. Stefan walked down the aisle toward me as I stood stunned in the back doorway. “Cash, you need to get down there. The ceremony is about to start.” It was all I could do to shake my head as he repeated that I needed to take my place at the altar. My chest felt like someone had piled cinder blocks on top of it and I was about to smother to death. “Cash, what’s wrong?” “Olivia’s not coming. Tell Mom to let everyone know. She’ll know what to do.” Stefan said nothing but turned around to go find my mother as I fell back against the wall, unsure of what to do. My brain felt numb, and my body was quickly following suit. As I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that the woman I’d lived with for months and who I thought loved me as much as I loved her had just left me jilted at our wedding, Kane walked in. “I’m sorry, Cash. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.” His words did little to make me feel better. Whatever had happened, whether it was a misunderstanding or not, the one thing I’d looked forward to for months wasn’t going to happen. All I’d wanted was to marry Olivia, and now she was gone. Stefan touched my shoulder and roused me from my thoughts. “Mom’s taking care of everything. What do you need me to do?” “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do now. Without Olivia, I don’t…I’m not sure what to do, Stefan.” “It’s okay, Cash. This will all work out and it’ll all turn out okay.” I didn’t answer him, but all I wanted to ask was how everything would turn out okay. How was I going to go back to the place we shared and live there without her? How was I going to sleep in the bed we shared? How was I going to go on without Olivia? As I thought about those impossible questions, my mother gently shook my arm. I looked at her, and she wiped a tear away from her cheek. “I told everyone there was an emergency, which I know is a lie, but I can’t imagine Olivia wanted to do this.” “I don’t know what she wanted. She told me she couldn’t marry me because I’d lied to her about Rachel and she thought I still cared about her.” “That doesn’t sound like her, sweetie. I’m sure once you two have a chance to think things through it will all be okay.” I looked over at Kane who stood silently in the corner looking more miserable than ever. Months of being away from the woman he loved hadn’t made anything better. I didn’t want to end up like him. I

didn’t want a chance to think things through, and if Olivia needed time, I wanted to know why, and the excuse of me still caring for Rachel wasn’t going to cut it. “I need to get out of here, Mom. I’m sorry to leave this all on you, but I have to find Olivia.” She kissed me on the cheek and pushed me toward the front door. “Go. Go find your bride and straighten things out. Stefan and I will take care of things here.” I needed to find her before she did anything stupid and made us making up impossible. I had no idea where she’d go, but I hoped that before she left for good she’d stop back at the condo. If I hurried, I might catch her before she left my life forever. THE MASERATI NEVER DROVE SO fast over Tampa’s streets. I blew through two lights and nearly drove someone off the road taking the turn into my condo’s parking lot, but I got home in record time. Jumping out of the car, I spied Josie sitting in a silver Volvo and knew I wasn’t too late. She saw me coming and rolled down the window. Before I could get a word out, she said, “I’m so glad you got here. She’s upstairs getting her things. Stop her before she makes this even worse.” “Why did she do this? Forget it. I don’t have time to waste. Don’t let her leave, Josie. If you care about her at all, don’t take her anywhere.” Josie touched my arm and nodded. “I’m not taking her anywhere. I’m just glad you got here in time. Hurry!” I tore across the parking lot and into the lobby to the elevator, barely getting on as the doors began to close and scaring the lone woman who stood there staring wide-eyed at me. As she backed up against the wall, I pressed the button for my floor and didn’t even bother to ask her what floor she needed. “Sorry, but this is a matter of life and death.” She smiled meekly and nodded, but I didn’t care how she felt about my rudeness. I could apologize to her if I ever saw her again. The elevator doors opened on my floor and I bolted out toward my apartment. I found the door unlocked and raced in to see Olivia just coming out of the bedroom. Her eyes opened wide, like she was surprised to see me there. “Olivia, what’s going on? I think I deserve the truth.” “I told you the truth, Cash. I need to go. Josie is waiting.” “No, she’s not, and I’m not letting you leave until we talk about what the fuck is going on.” She looked away and shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about. I told you why I can’t marry you.” I walked toward her, and she moved around the couch to get away from me. “Olivia, you told me nonsense. I want the truth.” “Cash, I can’t do this. I need to go.” “Goddamnit, Olivia! Talk to me. You’re supposed to be in love with me. What the fuck is going on?” She stopped walking and stared me in the eye. Flatly, she answered, “I told you. I can’t live with how you lied about Rachel. You still care for her.” “Baby, you’re a terrible liar. You know I don’t still care for Rachel, so let’s just stop that shit right now.” “Did you not lie about her when we first got together?” “You know I did. We got past that months ago, so what is this all about?” “Maybe I didn’t. Maybe I can’t bear to think about spending my life with a man who lied to me from the very beginning.” Olivia began to move toward the door, but I caught her by the arm and pulled her back toward me.

“Are you accusing me of lying to you about something after Rachel? Is that what this is? Because if it is, I want to know what you think I lied about right here and now.” She refused to look at me. Tugging her arm from my hold, she turned to leave. “I’m not doing this with you, Cash.” I touched her shoulder as she reached for the doorknob. “So that’s it? We spend day and night together for months, and this is how you want it to end? With a lie of your own? Don’t I at least deserve to know what I did wrong before you leave me, Olivia?” “Please don’t do this, Cash. Please just let this go.” “What is it? What did I do that’s so terrible that you not only don’t want to marry me but you don’t even love me anymore? Jesus, Olivia. What did I do?” She hung her head and in a voice barely above a whisper, she finally said, “You didn’t do anything. It’s me. You don’t want to marry me.” I turned her around to face me and saw the tears in her eyes. What happened to make her so unhappy? “Baby, why wouldn’t I want to marry you? I love you. I’ve never been happier than I am with you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” “Cash, you deserve so much more than what I can give you.” I lifted her chin to see she truly meant that. “How can you say that? You make me happy. What else is there that matters between two people? What’s going on here?” She began to cry and sobbed quietly, “I can’t give you children.” “What do you mean?” “I’m defective. That’s the truth. I was born with a defect that makes having children hard, if not impossible.” My heart tightened in my chest at the knowledge that she’d been dealing with this all on her own and hadn’t been able to tell me. “That’s what this is all about? You think I wouldn’t want to marry you because we might not have children?” “When we got together, I figured you were the kind of guy who didn’t care about kids, so I never mentioned it to you. But then you and your mother started talking about children and how much you’re looking forward to having a baseball team of kids.” I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as she began to cry harder. “Olivia, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I would have never said anything about children if I knew. I’m sorry, honey.” “Oh, Cash, I don’t want you to give up your chance at a family just because of this. I love you too much to see you suffer because of what I can’t give you.” Tilting her head back, I gently slid the pads of my thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away the tears and kissed her. “How could you think I’d want children more than I want you in my life?” “Because you already have his name picked out. Cassian March V?” “I’m sorry, Olivia. I didn’t mean to make it seem like having children was ever more important than us being together. If we never have kids, then it just wasn’t meant to be. But if we want to be parents, we can always adopt or have a surrogate, if that’s something that’s possible. But if it’s just always you and me, that’s more than enough to make me happy.” “You say that now, but when your brothers have kids and all your friends have kids and all you have is me, you’ll regret it.” “Olivia, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If that life is never anything more than you and me, I’ll be happier than any man on the planet because I have you. The ability to have children wasn’t why I fell in love with you. I fell in love with your kindness and sweetness. I fell in love with you because you make me happy, not because you can give me children.”

“The doctor didn’t say it was impossible, so we could try, I guess,” she said, sniffling as she smiled up at me. “I think that could be a lot of fun, but why don’t we try to remember why we wanted to get married? We love each other, right?” Olivia nodded. “I do love you, Cash. That’s why I didn’t want to make you marry me if I couldn’t give you a baby.” I pulled her back toward me and held her to me. “No more talk about babies. We still have to get married.” She looked up at me and frowned. “Oh, Cash! I’m so sorry. I ruined everything. Your mother is going to hate me. All those people came to see us get married, and I made such a mess of it.” “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I told you all this week this is about you and me. That’s all that mattered. I don’t care about those people or my mother or anyone else. Just you and me.” “My parents are going to freak out on me when I finally answer my mother’s calls. Thank God we paid for the wedding ourselves.” I pressed my forehead to hers and smiled. “Just you and me, Olivia. Everyone else was extra.” “Well, we needed Josie and Stefan too. And the minister.” “We still have a honeymoon to go on, and I for one can’t wait to get to Italy.” “You still want to go on our honeymoon even though we won’t be married?” she asked, obviously confused about how unimportant the actual ceremony was to me. “I still love you, and you still love me, right?” “Yes.” “And at some point we’re going to get married, right?” “Yes.” “Then I don’t see a problem with us enjoying a few weeks in Italy. Think of it like having dessert before you have your meal.” “I really do love you so much, Cash. I never meant to make such a mess of things, and I hate the idea of you thinking I didn’t love you anymore. I’m sorry for that. I just didn’t know what to do.” “No more talking about that. I’m as much to blame as you for this. All that talking about children and baseball teams just days before our wedding. It was insensitive, especially considering how much I knew you were going through with Samantha. I’m sorry, but remember in the future whatever you’re dealing with, you don’t have to deal with it alone. That’s what being in love is all about, okay?” Olivia took a deep breath and then got a panicked look in her eyes. “Samantha! Oh my God, Cash! She’s going to kill me! After all the work she did to get everything just perfect and I ruined it all!” I kissed her to stop her talking and whispered against her lips, “Shhhh. Don’t worry about Samantha or anyone but the two of us. Her job is to handle things like this, so I’m sure she and my mother did just that. Right now, I want you to realize we’re in our own home, thankfully she found your relatives a hotel room so they didn’t have to stay here, and our flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.” “Do you have something in mind, Mr. March?” she asked with a sexy smile. “I do, soon-to-be Mrs. March, so let’s enjoy the first night of our non-honeymoon.” Olivia smiled as she looked me up and down. “You look pretty damn incredible in that tux, you know that?” I loosened the bow tie from around my neck and nodded. “I clean up nice, or so I’ve been told by this hot redhead I’ve been spending time with.” As she unbuttoned my shirt, she kissed me slow and deep, making me want her right there in our living room filled with wedding presents. “Hot redhead, huh? She must have good taste.”

Sliding my tux coat off, I pushed her against the door and whispered in her ear, “As a matter of fact, she tastes like heaven.” I ran my hands up her thighs and felt her pussy, wet and waiting for me. My thumbs touched her clit, and Olivia’s eyelids slowly closed when I said, “And right now I can’t think of anything I’d like more than to have that delicious pussy on my tongue.” She ran her hands through my hair and moaned, “This was supposed to be our first time together as a married couple. Now it’s just engaged sex instead of married sex.” I kissed my way down her neck to her collarbone and looked up at her. “I don’t think there’s a difference, is there?” Olivia flashed me a devilish smile and shook her head. “Probably not. It’s been incredible between us since that first time on the conference table, so I didn’t expect married sex to be any less fantastic.” She wasn’t wrong. We had been good together since that first time, and every time I made love to her I fell for her even harder than I had that day in the office at the back of Club X. I made quick work of her jeans and panties, and then she was all mine to do with as I pleased. “I plan to make this first night of our non-honeymoon as wonderful as if we’d actually gone through with the ceremony.” “Mmmm…” she murmured as she unzipped my pants and reached in to palm my rock hard cock. “I like how this is beginning already.” My pants slid down my legs, followed by my boxers, so I was left standing in just my shirt and bow tie hanging around my neck. Olivia smiled at how I was dressed and tugged on the ends of the tie to pull me to her. “I love you, Cash. I love you for making me feel beautiful when I think I’m anything but, for understanding me when I’m stupid and do stupid things, like what I did at our wedding. I promise next time I’ll be right there with you.” The sweetness in her voice made me smile, and I slid my hands under her round ass to lift her to the perfect position for us to make love. “Will that be the third time for me because I think the third time’s supposed to be the charm?” She gave me a fake grimace and in a voice barely more than a growl, she said, “No more talk of you and your weddings, Cassian March. In fact, no more talk at all, unless it’s you whispering dirty talk in my ear as we fuck.” As I held her, I slid into her slick cunt until I was balls deep and groaned low in her ear, “Fine by me. I’ve had enough talking anyway. Now hang on to my neck while I fuck that delicious pussy.” She tightened her legs around my waist as I did just as I promised I would, and there surrounded by all the evidence of our planned wedding, we made love like we did that first time in the back office on the conference table. All the worries about seating arrangements, hotel reservations, future children, and everything else that had wormed its way into our life ceased to matter when I was inside her and she stared into my eyes with a look of love I wouldn’t have traded for anything in the world. I planted my hands on either side of her head and kissed her hard, wanting to force away all the fears she had about what she might not be able to give me and make her see I had all I needed with her just as we were. With each thrust into her body, I felt her worries fade away until all that was left was all that had ever mattered. Just Olivia and me. She came apart all around me as she moaned, “Oh God! This feels so good…” I tried to hold back, but she felt so fucking good and the sensation of her cunt milking my cock sent me over the edge. Flooding her insides, I stilled my movement and sagged against her body and the door. Olivia slid her hands through my sweat drenched hair and said quietly in my ear, “That was some honeymoon sex, Mr. March.”

I kissed her and couldn’t help but smile. “And that was just the first of what I have planned. Just imagine how it’s going to be when we actually get married. We’ll have to do everything all over again.” “Good. I like the sound of that. And if we don’t ever get pregnant?” Her question told me she still worried about not being able to give me children. I cradled her face and looked into her eyes, hoping she saw how much I loved her, no matter what the future held. “If we never have a baby, then we can have sex wherever we want, in whatever room we want. We can walk around buck naked day and night and never worry. But most of all, if we never get pregnant, we still have each other, and you’re all I need.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she buried her face in the space between my neck and shoulder. “I love you, Cash.”

Chapter Eight

Kane THE BLAZING SUN DID ITS best to bake me into my tux as I sat in one of Alexandria’s beach chairs on the sand. To combat being cooked from the outside, I made every effort to put as much liquor into my body as I could. So far, I’d made it halfway through a bottle of some kind of cognac Cash had made sure to stock up on for his reception. Since that wasn’t going to happen, I saw no reason to waste an opportunity to get blind fucking drunk. The look on his face when he found out Olivia wasn’t going to show remained in my mind like some horrible still frame I couldn’t get rid of. I knew that look. I saw that look every day in the mirror. It was the look of complete and utter loss of everything you loved. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, and there it was in his blue eyes so similar to mine—a sadness that wouldn’t go away no matter what he did or how much he drank. Closing my eyes, I tried to push my own misery away. I’d known it was a longshot that Abbi might be here for the wedding, but I’d still hoped I’d at least get the chance to see her. Not that I didn’t see her every night when I snuck into Alexandria’s Anna Maria Island house. It wasn’t the same, though. I missed seeing her smile and looking into her beautiful, gentle eyes. Not that I had any fucking right to ever see those again. Sometimes, first thing in the morning before I began drinking as I lay on the hard wood floor in those shitty rooms, I thought about going to her and begging for her to take me back. In those moments, I truly believed I could be the man she saw instead of the monster I really was. I could be there for her and the baby and be a normal person who didn’t have demons who threatened to wreck everything the minute they came out. Those fleeting moments just after I opened my eyes were all I had to look forward to other than my nightly visits to see Abbi. They were the reason I woke up each morning. And they filled me with as much happiness as someone like me could ever hope for. And then the truth of what I was and what I’d done came raging back, smashing all that goodness to pieces every day. I’d get up and try to remember how it felt to be near her the previous night, but that truth that ruined every morning lasted throughout the day, every day, until I saw her again. I lifted the bottle of alcohol to my lips and swigged a mouthful of cognac, hating the taste of it as it slid over my tongue on its way to my throat. I preferred liquor with a harder edge than this, but beggars can’t be choosers. By the time I made it to the bar, much of what I liked had been packed up. So much for celebrating true love. Cash and Olivia’s breakup left me feeling nothing but more misery. My life was supposed to be fucked up, but Cash’s? He was a good guy. He kept his nose clean, attended to business, and found a nice girl in Olivia. They made a good couple. A happy couple, or so I’d thought. I thought he’d finally found real happiness, the kind every guy wanted. He’d spent his years playing and then Olivia walked into the club and showed him what the good life could be. And now all that bliss was gone? Fuck. If someone like Cash couldn’t get his happily ever after, how could anyone like me even think it was something he should wish for?

Maybe they’d work things out. I liked Olivia and couldn’t imagine her hurting anyone intentionally, especially Cash. Maybe they’d talk it all out and see they were made for each other. I wanted to believe that could happen. I needed to believe that. I needed to believe someone in my world could find happiness. As I thought about Cash and Olivia getting back together, I felt a shadow cross my face and opened my eyes to see Alexandria standing above me. I’d hoped I could avoid her today, but I should have known better. She stared down at me with those warm brown eyes just like Stefan’s. They never quite seemed to ever really look anything but happy, even when what was coming out of her mouth was anything but good. For a moment, I wondered if she’d speak at all, but then she sighed and I knew where this was going. “I’d wondered if you were still here, Kane. Planning on sitting here until the tide comes up to meet you?” Lifting the bottle to my mouth, I took a drink and swallowed hard, pushing the too-sweet liquid down into my stomach. “I hadn’t thought about it, to be honest.” “I can’t let you drive home if you’ve been drinking as much as I think you have. Either you need to stop now and sober up or accept that you’re going to stay here tonight. It’s your choice.” I studied her expression and saw she was serious. “Is this something you do for everyone? I thought you kept the Anna Maria Island house for that.” “I take care of the people I care about, if that’s what you’re asking.” Looking past her toward the water, I mumbled, “No, but it’s all the same.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she remained there blocking the sun. I didn’t want to talk about what I knew she wanted to talk about, but maybe if I didn’t speak again she’d leave. “Kane, how long are you going to do this?” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and braced for what was to come next. “Sit here and get drunk? As long as it takes.” “I meant act the way you are toward Abbi.” And there it was. What she and everyone else had wanted to ask me for weeks. As if I had a fucking answer that would make them happy and I was just holding out on them. “I don’t want to talk about this, Alexandria.” She glowered at me for a moment and then said, “So that’s how we’re all supposed to be? When do you plan to want to talk about it? When the baby comes? When he’s ready for kindergarten? Just when do you think you’ll want to finally face up to your responsibilities, Kane?” I stared off toward the water as it began to roll in and took another drink of Cash’s cognac. “She wants for nothing. I pay for whatever she needs, as you well know. I can’t do more than that.” “So she’s supposed to be happy as a caged bird whose owner comes to stare at her every night like she’s some prized possession to be gawked at but never held or spoken to or shown any love?” Her words tore at me. I closed my eyes to fight back the emotion and then looked up at her. “So you know about my visits?” “Of course I do. Did you actually think you were sneaking in without me knowing? The first night my caretaker called me to ask what he should do. And do you know what I told him? Kane wouldn’t hurt her that way. Let him go.” “I wouldn’t hurt her for anything in this world, Alexandria. She means more to me than life itself.” “Then why do let her languish out at that house day after day without you?” I didn’t want to have this conversation. Nothing I could say would make her understand why I had to do what I was doing. Nobody could understand.

Standing from the beach chair, I walked past her toward the house. Maybe if I could find something I liked to drink I could get drunk enough and pass out in my car. At least then I wouldn’t have to think about Abbi and how much I missed her after seeing Cash get his heart broken today. Alexandria followed behind and surprised me by grabbing my arm just as I reached the back steps. I spun around to see a different look in her eyes. An angry look. “She waits for you every day, Kane. Every time a car drives up to the house, she hopes it’s you. Every night she goes to sleep praying that when she wakes up she’ll see you called or texted. And every morning she’s disappointed. Is this how you protect her from your demons? By breaking her heart every damn day and night?” “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t you think if I thought I’d be able to control them that I’d be with her right now? I love her. She’s everything to me, Alexandria. It’s killing me not to have her by my side. Why do you think I drive out to your house every damn night to just sit there and watch her sleep? Don’t you think I want to take her in my arms and never let her go?” “You’re making a terrible mistake you may never be able to come back from. Don’t you care about that?” “I can’t risk hurting her. I can’t.” She grabbed my arm and held me there in front of her. “Damnit, Kane! She doesn’t need to understand all your demons. She just needs you to fight for her!” Something inside my head snapped, and I yanked my arm violently from her hold. Her eyes opened wide and her face showed how stunned she was at my display of anger, the first she’d ever seen from me. Frightened, she took a step back and stared up at me. “See? This is what I’m protecting her from. I can’t live with myself if I think I might hurt her or the baby. I was meant to hurt.” God, I was so exhausted from that simple truth. I just wished I could be someone else for one day so I could have Abbi back in my life. But Alexandria met my anger with her own and barked, “That woman! I swear to God if I could turn back time I’d push your father to take you from Elise the day you were born. She poisoned your mind, Kane. I hate her for that. She was toxic and she made sure she forced poison into you too.” I stood stunned at her words. Never before had Alexandria said anything about my mother, good or bad. She had existed as a nameless betrayal Cassian March III had forced upon his wife, but she’d never spoken her name once in front of me before this. A tug of war sprung up in me at the sound of my mother’s name. I was her defender, her protector, so I should have defended her to this woman who stood in front of me accusing her of these horrible things, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be relieved of the burden my mother had forced on me all those years, and Alexandria was giving me that gift. “Kane, you aren’t just Elise’s son. You have some of your father in you. For all his faults, he wasn’t cruel or heartless. It would break his heart to see you suffering like this.” “All I got from him is what I look like. Everything else is my mother. I can’t change that, no matter how much I wish I could.” “I don’t believe that. That little boy I saw so angry at nine years old didn’t come by that naturally. You were taught to be this way. You can stop.” I hung my head, so tired of being this way, as she called it. “I can’t stop being who I am, Alexandria. I was meant to hurt. That’s who I am.” “I don’t believe that and either does Abbi. You have family who loves you and a wonderful woman who is going to give birth to your child. Do something to be the man you have to be for her.”

“What if I hurt her or the baby?” I raised my hands and tightened them into fists in front of her. “What if these hands that have killed two people already hurt them? I couldn’t live with that. I can’t risk that.” Alexandria gently cupped her smaller hands over my knuckles and shook her head. “That’s not who you are, Kane. You’ve been told so many times that you should hurt that you believe that’s all you are. I don’t believe that, and your father didn’t believe that either. You have to find the goodness inside you, honey, or you’ll be alone forever and miss all the wonderful gifts you’ve been given. Don’t lose Abbi and that baby because of the hatred your mother forced on you. You’re not her. Let her hate go.” “She knew me better than anyone else. She knew what I was.” Frowning, Alexandria let go of my hands. “She sentenced you to a life of pain and loneliness. No mother should do that to their child. You aren’t the monster she hoped you’d be and that judge said you were. There’s so much more to you, so much love inside you. I’ve seen it when you’re with Abbi, but you’re never going to see that for yourself if you don’t try.” “I tried, but all it resulted in was pain. Pain for Abbi and pain for everyone I’ve ever loved. I need a drink, so let me go find a bottle of something and get drunk enough so I don’t have to think about this again today.” This time she didn’t stop me from walking away. She likely understood what I knew all too well. There was no point. This was who I was, and no amount of talking was going to change that.

* I thought I felt the baby kick this morning. I know it’s probably too soon since I’m only about four months along, but I wish you were here to feel it too.

Abbi’s message was waiting for me when I woke up. She texted at least once a day and each one made me feel like my heart was being torn out of my chest. All summer I’d spent my time drinking myself into a stupor every day and then driving out to the house to see Abbi each night. It was a pathetic life, but there it was. I couldn’t remember when I last ate. What did it matter? All I wanted was a way to forget, and food didn’t provide that. Rolling over onto my side, I stared up at the twin bed in the corner and thought about that first night she stayed here with me. So vulnerable, so broken, she should have never been anywhere near me. A broken soul with someone who only hurts people. If only I’d left her alone before everything happened. I picked up the phone again and read through some of her messages, needing to feel the pain to remind me how much I needed to stay away from her because if I didn’t, I’d drive out to that house and take her in my arms and never let go. I know you read these. I know it. And I know you love me like I love you, Kane.

Running my finger over her picture on my phone, I nodded and whispered, “I do, angel.” I’m not giving up on you even though you want me to. I’m not. And someday soon you’ll come back and we’ll be happy the three of us.

When she said things like that, my breath caught in my chest because I wanted so much to be happy again. I imagined us together with a little boy or girl and we finally had the life we wanted. And then the reality of who I was crashed into my fantasies, wrecking them and making me accept the fact that we’d likely never have that happiness we both dreamed of. A knock at my door roused me from my misery, and I stumbled into the living room, still drunk from the night before. Opening it, I saw Cash standing there, and by the look on his face, I wasn’t looking

exactly the way he thought I’d look. He, on the other hand, looked like his usual great self, even dressed in jeans and a T-shirt instead of the business suit I was used to seeing him in. “Kane, hey, can I come in?” I nodded and stood back to let him pass, noticing how happy he looked. I hadn’t spoken to my brother since a few days after the botched wedding and although he’d sounded okay then, I’d thought he’d been just putting on an act. It seemed like he’d gotten over the heartbreak of Olivia. I didn’t know how, but he had. Closing the door, I turned to see him staring at me. I couldn’t help but admit I looked like shit. I hadn’t shaved in God knows how long, and other than the jeans I wore every day, I wore nothing else. Weeks of eating less than I drank had taken their toll on me, if his look of horror for me was any indication. “How are you, Kane?” “I’m fine, Cash. You look good. I didn’t think you’d get over Olivia that quick, but good for you.” He smiled that cool Cash grin. “I didn’t get over Olivia. I couldn’t get over Olivia any more than you can get over Abbi. We got married yesterday, and we’re having a celebration out at my mother’s house tomorrow. We’d like to see you there, if that’s possible.” “The Anna Maria Island house?” Cash shook his head and gave me a knowing look that told me he understood the meaning behind my question. “No, but I can’t promise that Abbi won’t be at the party. My mother says she’s feeling better now that she’s in her second trimester and she’s hoping to see you there.” I brushed past him to take my place on the couch. “I don’t know, Cash. I’m happy for you and Olivia, but I don’t know if I can handle being around everyone and seeing her. There’s no point, you know?” He stood there staring at me, silent for a long moment before he said, “No, but I accept that you think that. For me, there’s no way I could be away from Olivia like that, especially if I knew we were having a baby together, Kane.” “It’s different for you two. You don’t bring the problems I do into a relationship. I’m happy you guys found a way to make it work, though. I always thought you could.” “You and Abbi can too. I have to believe that.” I hung my head and sighed. “I wish that was true, Cash. I wish lots of things could happen. You and your mother live in a world where who I am shouldn’t matter, but that’s not reality. The reality is that I’m a violent man who shouldn’t be around someone like Abbi and our baby.” Cash walked in front of the table and looked at me like the big brother he was. “I don’t know what you are, Kane, but I know you love her and she loves you. Maybe I’m just feeling in love with love these days, but I think you need to give yourself a break. People can change. You aren’t just those two events in your life. They don’t make up all you are.” “No, I’m every time I’ve ever wanted to hurt someone. I don’t know if I’ll show, but tell Olivia congratulations from me, okay?” “Okay, but I know she’d rather hear it from you yourself. If you can, we’ll all be out at the house by seven o’clock tomorrow night. I hope you’ll be there.” I nodded, but I didn’t want to go celebrate anything, especially if Abbi was going to be there. I couldn’t face her after all the months of ignoring her messages and calls. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.

Chapter Nine

Shay THE HALLWAY LEADING TO STEFAN’S condo seemed especially long as I walked with all my luggage toward his door to surprise him. I’d thought about calling him and letting him know I was coming, but I hoped that after all the fighting we’d been doing lately this surprise visit would help things between us. I dropped my bags and took a deep breath as I knocked on his door. God, what if he wasn’t even home? What if he wasn’t alone? Stop! You can’t keep thinking like that, Shay. He hasn’t done anything to make you think he’s back to his old ways. I tried to calm myself with those thoughts, but somewhere in the back of my mind the tiniest voice whispered All you’ve done is fight for months. He’s not happy with you, Shay. The door opened and there he stood staring at me with those brown eyes I could get lost in forever. The look of shock on his face made me smile, but it immediately changed to a look of complete happiness. “Shay! What are you doing here? How? When?” He threw open his arms and took me into them in a hug that made all my fears about him fade away. I loved the feel of him next to me after all those months apart. Pressing my cheek to his chest, I heard his heart pounding excitedly against my ear. “Happy to see me?” Stefan pushed me away and looked me up and down. “Oh, baby, you’re a sight for sore eyes. I’ve missed you so much. This place hasn’t been the same without you here with me. How long are you back for? How long do I have before you leave again?” I bent down to pick up my bags and he took them out of my hold. Following him into his condo, I said quietly, “I’m here for a while.” He spun around and lifted me into his arms. “That’s the best news I’ve had in so long. Well, except for Cash and Olivia getting married and them having a party to celebrate tonight. Do you think you’ll be up for a party at my mother’s house? I know you just got back, but everyone would love to see you.” His brown eyes looked into mine like he was pleading for me to say yes, so how I could not? “Okay, it will be nice to see everyone. How’s your mother doing?” “She’s fine. She’s been spending a lot of time with Abbi over the summer.” “Why?” A sheepish look crossed his face. “I didn’t tell you about Kane and Abbi. Things haven’t been good. Abbi’s pregnant, but Kane won’t talk to her. I don’t know what his problem is, but it’s not like he’s talking to me either.” Kane not talking to Abbi who was carrying his child? That didn’t sound like the guy I knew. But I knew how contentious the relationship between Stefan and Kane had always been, so I didn’t comment. Better to just wait to see Kane and hear from the horse’s mouth what the problem was. As I thought about all that had changed since I left, Stefan took me in his arms and kissed me hello like I meant the world to him. His lips pressed against mine as his hands slid down my back to cup my ass, like he couldn’t feel enough of me next to him. All those fears I’d had about him wanting someone else faded away under the sweetness of that kiss,

and as I pulled back to cradle his face, I asked, “Stefan, what do you think of me not going back to Copenhagen for a while?” “Really? Then what do you think of leaving Tampa? We can go anywhere we like in the world. I have enough money and we can just close our eyes and pick a spot on the map and go.” “You know I don’t like the idea of being some kind of kept woman, baby. I need to know I can contribute to our life together.” “Then you pick the place and I’ll go. As long as you’re by my side, I don’t care where it is.” “Whoa, slow down! Why do you want to leave Tampa so badly? Your whole family’s here.” Stefan’s happy expression slid from his face and he walked over to look out the window at the bay below. “I don’t know, Shay. I just think it’s time to leave here. I’m not getting any younger, and now that Cash is happily married and the club is closed, it seems like the right time to go.” “What about your mother and Kane?” “My mother will be fine. We can visit her anytime we want.” “And Kane?” He said nothing for a long time and then turned around to face me with a twisted look of disgust that said so much more than his words. “I don’t know him anymore. I can’t respect what he’s doing to Abbi.” “Maybe it’s something you don’t know about.” “Maybe he’s just not manning up, Shay. She’s been pregnant for months, and instead of spending his time with her, he stays in his rooms at the club and gets fucked up drunk every day. What kind of man does that?” I should have known better than to come to Kane’s defense against Stefan. That anger that existed between them had simmered just below the surface for as long as I’d known them, and now with Abbi’s pregnancy and Kane’s unexplained behavior, Stefan had finally decided he couldn’t be around his halfbrother anymore. I understood his opinion, to a point. I just couldn’t imagine Kane being the type of man Stefan described. Walking up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close. “I get it, baby. You’re ready for a change. As long as it’s us together, I think we could do it. I just need you to understand that I won’t be some freeloading girlfriend, okay?” He turned in my hold and sweetly kissed the top of my head. “Okay. Then you pick the place and we’ll go, and you can work whatever job you want and I’ll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.” That was Stefan in a nutshell. Still believing he could be whatever he wanted to be. I loved that about him, and after months away around other scientists just like me who were all so sure of what they were and what they aimed to do with their lives, his comfort with indecision and willingness to explore life felt so refreshing and freeing.

* ALEXANDRIA’S HOUSE MAY NOT HAVE looked as festive as it had at Christmastime, but the late summer party celebrating Cash and Olivia’s wedding gave it a festive feeling all the same. Stefan and I walked in to see Alexandria nearly fall over at the sight of me right there in her home again. It felt good to be back. “Shay! Oh my, it’s so wonderful to see you! I had no idea you were coming,” she squealed as she came at me with open arms. Hugging me tightly, she scolded her son. “Stefan, this is a wonderful surprise, but you should have

told me.” “I didn’t know, Mom,” he beamed, smiling back at me. “She surprised me this afternoon by showing up on my doorstep. Best thing to find outside my door in ages.” Stefan headed toward the kitchen as Alexandria squeezed me and whispered in my ear, “You are so welcome here, honey. I’m so glad to see you back with Stefan. Two of my sons happy at last.” When she backed away, I asked quietly so Stefan couldn’t hear, “What’s going on with Kane? I know he’s not one of yours, but Stefan told me you’ve been spending a lot of time with Abbi. What’s happened to them?” A frown settled into her beautiful face. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve tried to get through to him, but he’s hell bent on believing he’s no good for her and the baby. She’s here tonight, but he’s not. Cassian said he didn’t think he’d come once he heard Abbi would be here. It’s heartbreaking to see her turn toward the door with that hopeful look in her eyes every time it opens.” “I’d like to meet her. Where is she?” Alexandria pointed toward the kitchen. “She’s in there with Cassian and Olivia. Go say hi. She’s heard all about you.” I walked down the hallway and turned the corner to see a beautiful, petite blond woman with a tiny baby bump standing in the center of the room. Instantly, I saw why Kane would have fallen in love with this lovely soul. She had all the hallmarks of a damsel in distress, and if any of the brothers was a knight in shining armor, it was Kane. “Shay! How did this happen? Stefan kept this a secret,” Olivia said as she welcomed me into the room. “He didn’t know,” I admitted. “I surprised him too.” “It’s great to see you, Shay,” Cash said with a cool smile as he offered me a drink. “I’m glad you’re here to celebrate our big day.” “Congratulations to both of you. I’m so happy for you guys.” Olivia and Cash beamed their happiness, but I saw out of the corner of my eye that Abbi couldn’t pretend to share it. Looking over at her, I said, “I’m Shay. I’ve heard all sorts of wonderful things about you from Stefan. It’s so nice to meet you.” Abbi tentatively extended her hand to shake mine and said quietly, “It’s nice to meet you finally, Shay. I thought I heard you’d be back in December.” “Yeah, plans changed. I’m back for good now, and Stefan is all about moving away and finding a new start.” Her blue eyes lit up. “Really? That sounds like fun.” I dropped my voice and whispered, “Congratulations are in order for you too, I hear. Stefan tells me you’re pregnant. You look fantastic!” She cupped her hands over her belly and smiled at me. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.” “I’d love to congratulate Kane too.” Abbi shook her head and frowned. “He’s probably not going to be here.” My heart broke for her as I saw her look past me as someone came in the front door. Alexandria had been right. She really was waiting for him. I couldn’t believe the man who’d been so nice to me every time we talked could do this to a woman he loved and who was carrying his baby. It just made no sense to me. “Well, I’m sure I’ll get a chance to see him soon, and I’ll make sure to tell him how lucky he is.” Abbi’s expression turned dark once again at my mention of seeing Kane, but we were quickly distracted by Stefan offering a toast to the newlyweds.

“To my brother and Olivia, who finally made it official. Here’s to the two of you and a lifetime of happiness.” Everyone cheered for them, and they kissed like two people madly in love. It made my heart swell to know that after all the problems they’d had that the two of them had found their way back to one another. “Let’s move this party out to the back and enjoy this beautiful August night,” Alexandria announced as she began ushering all of us to the back porch where tea candles lit up the veranda and back steps. Stefan and I followed everyone outside and took a seat as Cash and Olivia began to recount the details of their Italian trip they’d made out of their honeymoon plans. It all sounded so perfect that I couldn’t help but wish Stefan and I would have the same wonderful stories to tell when we finally made the decision to marry. We’d never talked about it, but now that I’d returned I could see us finally making it official. Stefan slipped his arm around my waist as we sat there on the back porch, and we all laughed as he teased Cash about finally closing the deal with the right woman. All those years of bad blood between them from Stefan and Rachel’s betrayal had finally faded away, and the two brothers could at last joke about the past. Suddenly, the laughter abruptly stopped and a pall descended on the group as Kane appeared in the doorway like some kind of specter to bring us all back to reality. I looked up and was stunned by how he looked. God, he’d changed so much since I’d last seen him. Gone was the piercing blue gaze I remembered, replaced by a dimness in his eyes that saddened me. He looked thinner than when I’d said goodbye to him that winter night at the club too. And then all eyes trained on Abbi, who stood motionless staring at him as we waited for one of them to speak. It felt like we were intruding on a private moment, but none of us moved. We just sat there until Kane or Abbi said something. Finally, when neither of them did, Alexandria put on her best hostess face and invited Kane out to join us. He gruffly declined, instead turning to go back into the house, and that’s when Abbi moved to follow him. The rest of us pretended like nothing had happened as Cash and Olivia returned to telling their stories about Italy, but as the screen door closed and Abbi said her first words to him, I knew something was really wrong. His voice, as raspy as it usually was, had never sounded as cold as when he spoke to her now. As Stefan and the rest of the group returned to talking like everything was fine, I listened as Kane and Abbi spoke to one another like two people who didn’t know how to understand each other. “Kane, I hoped you’d come tonight. Does this mean…?” She left the rest of her sentence unspoken, but I heard the desperation in her voice. She so wanted him to say something had changed and he’d come back to her, but as I spied his icy expression, I knew that wasn’t the case. “Abbi, nothing’s changed.” There, in those few words, he dashed all her hopes. Her shoulders sagged and she said quietly, “How can you say that? I’m carrying your child, Kane.” “Abbi, I don’t want to hurt you. It’s the last thing I want to do. Why won’t you understand that you’re better off without me?” She lifted her hand to touch his face, and he sharply turned away from her. She pleaded, “I’m not better off without you. I love you and you love me. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll never bother you again. I’ll never message you or call you or even hope something can change. Just tell me that and I swear I’ll leave your life forever.”

Kane lowered his head and I saw in his dark blue eyes that he did still love her, no matter what his words said. She knew it too. In his silence, she found some measure of happiness, even if it wasn’t the kind she’d hoped for. “Then I will never stop waiting for you to see that this baby and I need you. I don’t care how long I have to wait. When you finally see the truth, I’ll be there and we’ll finally be happy.” He turned away and walked toward the front of the house as Abbi came out onto the porch strangely wearing a smile. How could she pretend to be truly happy like that after he’d basically told her he wasn’t coming back? I slipped out of Stefan’s hold and followed Kane, needing to find out how the man who’d been so kind to me could be such a heartless creature to her. I caught up to him in the hallway and tugged on his arm to get his attention. He turned to see me, and for the first time I saw that familiar Kane smile. “Hey, science girl. What are you doing here?” he asked in a somber tone that belied his happy words. “I just got back. What’s going on with you, Kane?” “Same old, same old. You know how it is.” I looked at him and saw how much of what he said was a lie. “You don’t look the same. What’s happened to you? And what’s going on with Abbi?” He shook his head and frowned deeply. “It’s too hard to get into. Long story.” “Kane, she’s crazy about you and you blew her off, even though she’s pregnant with your child. That’s not the man I knew. What’s changed in you to make you so cold toward someone so kind?” “I can’t stay here, but it was nice to see you again, Shay. I’m sure Stefan is thrilled to have you back.” He began to walk away, but I grabbed his arm again. I wasn’t done yet. “Hey, it doesn’t have to be like this. I know you. You’re a good guy, Kane. Don’t leave without talking to her for real.” Shaking his head, he said in a low, sad voice, “No, I’m not and I have to go. Goodbye.” Before I could stop him, he yanked his arm away and stalked off out the front door to his car. As I stood watching, his Mustang sped down the road and he was gone.

* STEFAN AND I DIDN’T SPEAK all the way back to the condo, and as I watched him pour a drink and silently stare out the window, I knew I had to say something. I didn’t know what had angered him, but I could guess. “So what do you want to do now? It’s still pretty early. We could go out.” He remained silent for so long I wasn’t sure he’d heard me, but then he let out a huge sigh and turned around and I saw his anger hadn’t abated at all. “Why would you talk to him like that? You know how things are between us, and still you ran after him.” “I didn’t run after him, Stefan. I just wanted to say hi and see if I could help Abbi any. I wanted to know why he’s acting like this toward her.” “Why? What does it matter? He’s acting like an ass. Who cares what his reasons are? I know I don’t. Why do you?” I walked over to where he stood and reached out to touch him, but he backed away. Confused, I asked, “What’s the problem with a friend asking a friend what’s wrong? I hadn’t seen him since I left, and the first time I do see him, he’s cold as ice to the woman who’s carrying his baby. I wanted to know why.” “The problem is that he’s never thought you and I should be together. How do you think it makes me feel to see you run after him as soon as he came in the house? You barely held yourself back to let Abbi go talk to him first.”

“I don’t care what he thinks about us. I love you, Stefan. You know that. I’m not going to leave you and I don’t think I’m too good for you. That’s nonsense. As for me barely holding myself back from running after him, that’s not true either. I just didn’t like what he did to her and wanted to see if I could help.” Stefan brushed past me as he mumbled, “It’s none of your business, Shay. Kane’s decided he doesn’t need to man up to his responsibilities. That’s it. And that’s coming from the brother who everyone thinks is a fuck up who never takes care of his responsibilities.” I watched him walk into the bedroom and hated the distance between us. I couldn’t believe it was just because I’d tried to speak to Kane for Abbi, though. This ran much deeper, and I needed to get to the bottom of it. By the time I reached him, he’d changed out of his clothes and stood in just his boxer briefs still drinking his whisky. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I kissed his muscular back and pressed my cheek to his soft skin to whisper, “Talk to me. What’s going on here between us?” “Nothing. Let’s just drop it.” “I don’t want to drop it. Tell me what’s going on. I’m back for less than a day and we’re already fighting again. Why?” He turned in my hold and stared down at me with the purest look of hurt I’d ever seen from him. “Because I’m afraid what he said about you is true. That you’re going to figure out you’re too good for me and leave me. From the first day we all met, I saw how you two got along. You’re fast friends and I’m an outsider because I’m not serious enough for you or whatever he has that I don’t.” I moved my hands up to cradle his face and shook my head, stunned by his admission. “Oh, Stefan, that’s not true at all. I don’t know why Kane said that, but I’ve never thought to leave you for anything. I admit he and I were able to talk to one another, but that seems to have disappeared since the last time I spoke to him, if tonight is any indication. I love you for you. I don’t want serious. I’m serious enough about most things in life for the two of us. I love how you approach life with such a carefree way. I wish I could do that. I bet he does too.” “We fight all the time, Shay. Why? Maybe he’s right. Maybe we’re too different. Maybe we’re never going to be alike enough to make it last.” “Do you believe that?” I asked, terrified of what his answer would be. He closed his eyes and said quietly, “I don’t know. I don’t want to believe that. I’ve missed you so much, but you’re not even back a day and this is happening. I don’t know what to do.” “Is this why you were talking about leaving here?” Nodding, he said, “Yeah. Maybe if we weren’t here things could be better.” “Oh honey, things have to better with us, not our location. But I don’t think things are bad between us, are they? I thought we were fighting all the time because of the pressure you and your brothers were under and because I was so far away. But that’s not a problem anymore.” For the first time, I saw his face brighten up. “What do you mean?” “I’m not going back, Stefan. I left that position, so I’m back here for good.” “Are you? So we could just go anywhere we want and not worry?” I shrugged. “Except for that not wanting to be a freeloading girlfriend stuff, you know, the serious part of me, I guess yeah we could.” He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up to kiss me full on the lips. “You’ve made me so happy, Shay. I don’t want us to be apart anymore.” “We don’t have to be. My department chair from school has some work for me for a while, so until we figure out what we want to do and where we want to go, I’ll still have a job, so to speak. It’s going to be okay.”

He kissed me again, softer and sweeter, and pressed his forehead to mine as he said quietly, “I love you so much. I want things to be like they used to be.” “They can be. We’re the same people. Nothing’s changed between us, Stefan.” His hand tightened in my hair and he pushed his hips forward to press his cock against my stomach. “God, I’ve missed you. I was thinking about how much I wanted you back in my bed the other night, and here you are. I don’t want us to fuck this up, Shay.” I looked up into those sweet eyes of his so filled with worry. “We won’t. I’m here to stay, baby.” “Good. I can’t wait to be inside you. I’m fucking tired of my hand, to be honest.” Chuckling, I took his hand and led him over to the bed. “Sit. I want to do something.” “Do I need clothes for this something?” I shook my head. “No. In fact, you need to be buck naked and rock hard for it to really work.” Stefan quickly slid his boxer briefs off and leaned back on his elbows, his already erect cock thick against his abs. “Whatever this is, I’m already loving it.” As he watched me, I stripped out of my clothes and stood there in front of him naked. “Now close your eyes.” “I’d rather keep them open and watch you do whatever you’re going to do,” he said playfully as he closed just one eye. “All in good time. Just close them for a little bit, okay?” He closed the other eye and then opened it, teasing me. “You might have to get me a blindfold. I can’t seem to keep them shut.” I knitted my eyebrows and tried to be serious, even as I wanted to smile at how cute he was acting. “Don’t be difficult or I won’t do what I planned.” Finally, he squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay, do your worst. I’m totally vulnerable here.” Leaning forward, I ran my palms up his muscular thighs. “Yeah, vulnerable. Right.” A moan escaped his mouth and he reached out to touch me. I stopped my movement and stood up away from him. “Oh, I forgot to mention you have to keep your hands behind your head.” Stefan opened his eyes again and smiled. “Eyes closed and hands behind my head? I don’t know how I feel about that.” “Don’t you trust me?” He nodded and did as I wanted, clasping his hands behind his head. “Of course. Use me like the sex slave I am. I do want to watch at some point, though.” “Eyes closed.” With his hands immobilized behind his head and his eyes closed, he lifted his hips off the bed and groaned. “I think I still like this, but my cock is starting to feel a little ignored. Any chance he can get in on the action?” I planted a single kiss on his inner thigh just above his left knee and flicked my tongue against his skin. “I can see that happening. Patience, grasshopper.” As I made my way kissing up his leg, he asked, “Did you just call my cock grasshopper? It’s kinky, but I guess I could go with it.” I sucked the head into my mouth and flicked my tongue against the tip. Stefan moaned and lifted his hips off the bed to thrust his cock deep into my mouth. Wrapping my hand around the base, I gripped him tightly as I began to go down on him. Just as I sensed his release, I let his cock pop out of my mouth playfully and lifted my head. “Remember? Patience.” He grimaced like he was in pain and lifted his body off the bed in a crunch. “You’re killing me, baby.”

I looked down at his gorgeous body and didn’t want to play anymore. I’d been without him too long. I wanted to feel his strong arms around me as his cock filled my body like no man’s had ever done before. Straddling his hips, I eased down onto him until we joined completely. Stefan opened his eyes and reached his hands out to grip my hips as I lifted off him until just the head of his cock stayed inside me. “No more fucking teasing, Shay. Ride my cock like you know you want to.” He pulled me down onto him, and I leaned forward, loving the feeling of him inside me once again. “I don’t have to be told twice. Fuck me like I need, Stefan.” His hands slid down to my ass and squeezed hard as he began pumping into me. He was more raw than ever, and I loved it. Over and over, he made me his again as I rode his cock like never before. I held nothing back, and neither did he. Everything we felt roared to the surface without restraint, and I never felt freer and more loved than I did then. As we came, he wrapped his arms around me tightly and in my ear said the words that made me happier than I thought I could be. “I love you, Shay. I can’t imagine my life without you. I’m so glad you’ve come back to me.” I smoothed his hair from his forehead and kissed him. “I can’t imagine anywhere else in the world I’d want to be. I missed you so much, Stefan.” I’d never seen him so happy, and as we lay there together in one another’s arms, I loved that I was the reason for that happiness.

Chapter Ten

Stefan THE HOT TAMPA SUMMER SLOWLY moved out of the way for autumn to settle in, and while I loved the heat, Shay loved the idea of being back at the university for the fall semester to work for her old mentor. We’d enjoyed a week or so of pure uninhibited pleasure when she returned, and now it was time for her to get back to the old routine she loved so much. I didn’t understand the interest in doing the same thing over and over every day, but I understood she loved that kind of regularity and security, and since I loved her, I didn’t question her returning to work so quickly. It would have been nice to spend more days in bed with her, though. For my part, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my days while she worked, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’d worked nearly all of my twenties as the manager of Club X and had squirreled away some good money in case of a rainy day. Nobody had expected that from me, but I did it just in case one day Cash or Kane flaked out and we couldn’t continue with the club. So now that rainy day had come and I planned to enjoy it. What I would do I had no idea, though. Most days, I drove out to the Anna Maria Island house to check on Abbi, who never failed to be as sweet as she’d always been, even though I was pretty sure she felt like shit with the way Kane was treating her. Every time I saw her I had to pretend I didn’t hate what he was doing to her with every fiber of my being, but she never complained once about him. By late September, Shay had delved into her work with her typical gusto and any worries she had about being a freeloading girlfriend had disappeared. I’d never given the idea a second thought, but it had weighed on her mind so I was glad when her mentor asked her to work even more hours on his project. It meant more time alone, though, and since Cash and Olivia were still basking in the honeymoon phase and Kane had crawled into some kind of emotional shithole of his own making, I had the time to reconnect with old friends and even get out more. But I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. That guy who had loved partying and picking up women had vanished once Shay entered my life, so nights out getting hammered at clubs wasn’t really what I enjoyed now. That left me with puttering around the condo or figuring out something to fill my time, so I found myself out at the island house more, especially since my mother seemed to be a near constant fixture there now that Abbi was close to moving into the final trimester of her pregnancy. I sat down for dinner with the two of them one night near the beginning of October, and my mother looked at me and asked, “Why aren’t you home anymore, honey?” Two sets of eyes stared at me as I scooped mashed potatoes onto my plate. “Because Shay is working a lot at school and I get bored sitting at the condo. Can you please pass the gravy?” “Is she enjoying being back at work so soon?” my mother asked as Abbi handed me the gravy boat. “I think so.” The truth was Shay and I didn’t talk about her work much. I didn’t pretend to know what she really studied, and she didn’t pretend that I should care. It sounded like I was disinterested, but the fact was since I had never gone any further into science than high school biology, I likely wouldn’t have understood

what she talked about anyway. “She must be really smart, Stefan,” Abbi said with a smile I thought hid some of her usual sadness. “She is,” I bragged, proud of the woman I loved, unlike Abbi’s asshole boyfriend. “She’s my own version of Bill Nye the Science Guy. I guess she’s my Shay the Science Babe.” My mother and Abbi chuckled at my joke, but something behind Abbi’s expression told me she wasn’t as happy as she pretended to be. “So how’s the baby doing?” I asked as I took a forkful of my mother’s meatloaf I loved. “Not too long now, right?” “Still a few more months, but I feel good. Your mother has done so much to make me at home here.” My mother reached across the table and patted Abbi’s hand. “This is your home for as long as you want it to be. You know that. Now that Cash and Olivia are married, they won’t want it when I go. So it’s up to you or Stefan, and I don’t think my son here wants to hang out on this quiet island for the rest of his life.” “Actually, Shay and I are looking to leave Tampa, Mom.” Both Abbi and my mother stopped eating and turned to look at me, each one with a look of surprise on their face like I’d just announced I’d be taking off on a trip to Mars soon. Didn’t anyone leave or did my family expect me to spend the rest of my life so close to my mother? “Where are you going to go? And why is it your mother is the last one to know about this?” I looked at my mother and smiled. “You two are the first to know, actually. Shay and I have only talked about it a few times, but we think it might be time to leave the area. I have the money, so why not go when we can?” “I don’t know. I just thought I’d always have you nearby, I guess.” Turning to look at Abbi, I smiled. “I’m her baby. She never thought she’d keep Cash around forever.” “That’s not true. I’d be sad if I heard he and Olivia were leaving the area too. But he’s different than you, Stefan. I worry more about you.” I looked at her in shock. “Me? I’m not the one who’s been married twice, Mom.” “I know, but you’re wilder than your brother. I like the idea of you with Shay for a lot of reasons, but especially because she’s stable and not wild like those other women you dated for years.” “Were you a player, Stefan?” Abbi asked innocently. Rolling my eyes, I let my mother answer her question. “He was more than a player, honey. There was a constant stream of women coming and going from that condo all the time. He thought I didn’t know, but I knew. Mothers always know.” “Jeez, Mom. You make me sound like some pig.” “I’m just saying I’m glad you settled down with Shay. She’s just the kind of woman I’d wish for you. Stable, smart, and strong enough to deal with you and your antics. You need that to keep you in your place.” Abbi suddenly stood from the table and cleared off her plate into the garbage. “I’m feeling a little tired now. I think I’m going to go upstairs.” She walked out of the room and my mother shook her head sadly. “Her moods change suddenly. It’s the pregnancy, I know, but I still feel bad for her.” “Has he bothered to call her or come out to see her yet?” I asked, not even trying to hide my disgust for Kane’s behavior. She leaned toward me and whispered, “Oh, honey, he comes out every night. She’s sound asleep so she doesn’t know, but he’s been coming out every night since spring.” “What’s that about? Who does that? It’s got a creepy stalker thing about it, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t do anything to stop it because I want to encourage him to come here whenever he can. I just wish he’d see he should spend some time with her when she’s awake. It would make her so happy.” “That’s why he doesn’t do it, Mom. He’s a selfish prick and the way he’s acting toward her is wrong.” My mother stood from the table and began to clear the dishes. “You don’t know the whole story, Stefan. I think if you did, you’d see he has his reasons.” “He has a good reason for abandoning his pregnant girlfriend and you’re okay with this? I don’t get it. You’d be up one side of me and down the other if I treated anyone like that, but it’s okay for Dad’s bastard son to be like that?” She stopped next to where I sat and stared down at me with a look of anger I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager and nearly totaled her car one night. “Stefan March, don’t say that about him. Kane has had a lot of things dumped on him that you and your brother never had to deal with. You were very lucky to have your father in your life. Kane didn’t have that benefit.” “So what? Are we supposed to have a telethon for him now? He got as much money as we did when Dad died and we made a run of the club, so I’m supposed to feel bad for him and think the way he treats Abbi is okay? Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t.” “Money isn’t all your father meant to any of you. You know that.” I stood up from the table, my stomach sick from this bullshit talk about Kane and his problems. I’d never really told my mother about how I’d seen my father as little more than money, but if she continued to defend Kane like he’d gotten some bad deal, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. “All I know is that he didn’t do so bad considering.” “If you knew the whole story, you might think differently, Stefan.” “Like I might feel bad for him because he never had a real father? That’s bullshit. Cassian March III only cared about the child who was his namesake, so this spare isn’t going to be feeling bad for Kane anytime soon. The heir and the spare, right? I remember, so I’m not going to stand here and listen to some defense of poor Kane because he didn’t have a daddy around every day of his childhood. I didn’t either, and the guy lived in the same house with me.” “You know that’s not true, Stefan. Your father loved you like he loved Cassian and Kane.” Something inside me exploded, and I barked, “Why the hell do I get to be mentioned in the same breath as the bastard? Shouldn’t being his son like Cassian count for something more?” My mother stepped back in shock at my outburst, and I didn’t give her a chance to answer any of my questions. I’d had enough of Kane and his fucking problems, and if I was the only one who could see whatever his excuses were meant nothing, then so be it. I stormed out without saying another word and headed home, hoping to see Shay’s happy face to help me forget about my mother, her soft spot for my half-brother, and how bad I felt every time I saw Abbi sitting there in that house waiting for some asshole who’d never show up, except when she wouldn’t see him or give him a hard time. If I was the only one who saw Kane for what he really was, so be it.

* BY MID-OCTOBER, I’D STAYED AWAY from the Anna Maria Island house for a couple weeks and decided I likely wouldn’t go back anytime soon. Shay couldn’t talk enough about a get-together she and her colleagues had organized, and when the night of the party finally arrived, I loved seeing her so happy to show me off to her work friends who I’d never met before. I stood behind her at the bathroom mirror and straightened my tie as I asked, “Why is it again that I’ve

never met any of these people who seem so important in your life?” She smiled and turned around to kiss me, sliding her arms around my waist. “Because they’re more boring than watching paint dry and I didn’t want you to think I was like them or you might think you should break up with me before I got boring too.” I tightened my fist in her hair and gently tugged her head back so her mouth sat right near mine. “I could never think you’re boring, baby. But just so I know, what are we talking here? Boring old professor types or boring nerd types? I like to know what I’m walking into.” “Think people who find The Big Bang Theory funny.” “I think that show’s funny. I shouldn’t have a problem then.” “Do you think it’s funny because of the characters or the science jokes?” “The characters. I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about with the science jokes.” Shay chuckled and straightened my tie again. “Well, these people think the science jokes are hysterical.” “So I’m basically your male version of Penny?” I asked with a smile. She thought about it for a moment and scrunched up her nose. “I’m not really cool thinking of myself as Leonard, but I guess in a way you’re right. Just remember that other than that weirdo Sheldon, everyone would love to get with Penny.” “Got it. I’m your hunky non-science boyfriend.” “Don’t worry, Stefan. These people will love you like I do because you’re completely opposite of us. It’s the reason science types love your type. We’re all serious, and you’re all carefree, like we wish we could be.” I kissed her gently on the lips and smiled. “Okay, I’m ready. Time to show me off to your friends.” “Colleagues. Remember that. My friends already love you more than they should. Carrie thinks you might be the hottest man I’ve ever been with, just so you know. These people are work people, which means I care even less what they think.” I checked out my look in the mirror and couldn’t help thinking I looked good next to her. She wore a black sweater dress that hugged her gorgeous shape perfectly and made me want to skip the science gettogether in favor of a night of incredibly hot sex, and I had on black dress pants with a grey button down shirt and a black and grey tie she’d picked out for me because of the metallic look of the diamond pattern she said brought out my eyes. Whatever it was, we looked good together, so those science geeks needed to be ready. Two steps into the room decorated with 1970s dark brown paneling where the party was held and I knew her colleagues weren’t like the woman I loved. Shay had a sexy way about her that came naturally from confidence, but these people all looked like they’d had sand kicked in their faces every day of their lives and the result had made them defensive and suspicious. One woman stared at me with wide eyes full of fear like she’d never seen a man before, and the only other female besides Shay and her appeared to be holding up the wall near the restroom at the far end of the party. The men weren’t much better. None seemed to know how to match their pants to their shirts, and every one of them had ties that showed they had no idea what the hell a Windsor knot was. Checkered shirts of all colors and an overabundance of brown dress pants made me wonder what year I’d beamed back to. Thankfully, there was alcohol or the night ahead of me would have been a complete and utter fucking disaster. For Shay’s part, she flitted around the room like a social butterfly able to walk with any of us there. While her colleagues seemed confused by the simplest of social situations—I mean who the hell doesn’t know how to get together for a few drinks and some mindless chatter?—she handled it as smoothly as she

had taken care of the members at the club, and I’d never been more proud of her. Hard as I tried, none of her colleagues wanted to speak to me, no matter what conversation I attempted. I didn’t care, but I knew Shay hoped I’d do better, so I made more effort. Not that it mattered much. I approached every person in that room, but they either stared at me blankly when I spoke or made some half-hearted excuse why they had to move away from me. Finally, I tried to strike up a conversation with the lady holding up the wall outside the bathroom, and to my surprise, she didn’t run away. That was probably because of her job securing the wall. Plain and dowdy with mousy brown hair and a dress that seemed too big for her, she at least smiled when I introduced myself. “Hi, I’m Stefan. Do you work with Shay?” “I do,” she said quietly, her gaze immediately settling on her black orthopedic-looking shoes. “I’m her boyfriend. What’s your name?” “Shelley.” Extending my hand, I said, “It’s nice to meet you, Shelley.” When she shook it, she looked up at me with a look of surprise, like she’d never touched a man’s hand before. I didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t want to scare her off and succeed in talking to no one the entire night, so I smiled my warmest and said, “I’m pretty new to this, but it’s very nice here.” Not exactly my smoothest line, but I didn’t have to really turn it on for this woman. I just hoped not to terrify her into running into the ladies’ room. “You probably go to much nicer places, Stefan. You don’t look like these other guys here.” “Maybe before I met Shay, but not these days. I think this is the first time since she got back that we’ve gone out.” Shelley made some comments about the university and how much she enjoyed working there with Shay, but someone behind me talking drew my attention away. I didn’t turn around, but the man’s voice was as clear as day when he spoke. “He’s not exactly what I’d expect a scientist like you to be with, Shay. Where did he go to school? Who dresses like that for a science department party?” Shay’s defense of me came immediately and in a tone I knew signaled she hated what her colleague said. “Stefan is a successful businessman and I don’t see why the way he dresses should mean anything. My being a scientist, Kevin, doesn’t mean I have to spend all my time with them.” “It just seems like you wouldn’t be with someone who ran the kind of business he ran.” And there it was. The not-so-subtle discrimination my brothers and I had encountered every day we ran Club X. Like owning a fantasy club was the worst thing anyone could do for a living. I wanted to turn around and tell the pompous son of a bitch off, but I didn’t, remembering how important this night was to Shay. So I let his snide comment pass and listened as she did it for me. “The kind of business that would never let you in because you don’t have sex or because you don’t have enough money? Jealous much, Kevin?” The bastard didn’t say another word, and Shay took her place next to me and joined the conversation Shelley and I were having, as tepid as it may have been. The woman warmed up more once Shay began talking, and while the rest of the night went off without a hitch, no one else in the science department spoke to me and Kevin’s comments never left my mind. By the time we got home, what he’d said gnawed at me enough that I wanted to get drunk and forget about those science fucks with their bad clothes and ignorant attitudes. Shay remained quiet as we settled in, and I sensed she knew I’d heard what Kevin had said, even though neither one of us had mentioned it. “Want a drink?” I asked as I poured myself a whisky on the rocks. “No,” she said quietly behind me.

I didn’t continue talking, but I had a feeling she wanted to. When I turned to face her, I saw she had something to say, so I sat down on the couch next to her. “What’s up? Did you have a good time tonight?” “Sure. It was okay. How about you? Shelley seemed to like chatting with you.” I saw by the smile on her face when she mentioned poor, socially-challenged Shelley that she wasn’t angry, but something made me think there was a problem between us. “Shelley at least bothered to talk to me. No one else seemed to think I was worthy of conversation.” That came out a bit more defensive than I intended, but it wasn’t a lie. Nobody wanted to talk to me. Not that I cared much. I’d wanted to make a good showing, but I couldn’t be blamed for their behavior, could I? “They’re just like that, Stefan. They meant no harm.” And then before I could stop myself, I said, “Yeah, like good old Kevin there with his judgmental bullshit, right?” I waited for her to defend me like she had when he spewed his nonsense, but she said nothing for a long moment. Did she actually agree with his shit? No, she couldn’t. She’d told him off. So what was with the hesitation now? As I waited, I grew angrier and more hurt than when I’d first heard him basically trash me and my character. Finally, I asked, “You aren’t going to say anything about that?” “Your lifestyle isn’t for everyone, Stefan. It doesn’t mean they’re right or wrong. It’s just who they are.” I leaned back away from her, stunned by her comment. “My lifestyle? Why does it sound like you look down on that lifestyle like that fuck Kevin did? If I remember correctly, you were part of the Club X lifestyle.” “I worked there for money to pay for school. I wasn’t a member and I didn’t take part in any of the activities there either. There’s a difference.” “So now you’re looking down your science nose at what I did at the club?” She stared at me for a moment and then asked, “My science nose? What does that mean?” “It means you guys are snobs and uptight ones at that if you have a problem with a fantasy club. The people we had as members found something there they couldn’t find anywhere else. Maybe if your science dweebs ever got a little, they wouldn’t be so fucking rude to strangers. I was nothing but nice to all those people there tonight, and only poor Shelley holding up the bathroom wall decided she wanted to even respond to my efforts to make small talk.” “Stefan, it’s not like you cured any major diseases or anything at Club X. It was a sex club. Period.” Her tone told me all I needed to know about how she acted around her science friends. I didn’t like this Shay much, and if I didn’t get the hell out of there, we’d be back to fighting again. I stood up and walked into the bedroom, not wanting to start anything even if I thought I was right this time. But she didn’t want to let it go and followed me. Suddenly, the woman I’d been so proud of all night and who had defended me to that jackass Kevin seemed to be against me and everything I’d ever been. Never before had I felt so under attack by our differences. “Shay, I’m not really interested in talking about this anymore. No, we didn’t cure cancer or anything at the club, but we weren’t petty, judgmental fucks and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel bad about my way of life. Not even the woman I love.” She looked at me and her mouth fell open. For a moment, I thought she might cry, but then she said the words I’d dreaded for months. “I think it might be best if we thought about what we’re doing together. I’m going to go and give us

some time to consider if we should even bother trying to get past our differences. From what I’m seeing now, you don’t seem to want to.” I shook my head, sick of being reminded of how different we were. “This isn’t on me, Shay. I did nothing wrong. Your friend Kevin attacked me and you defended me, like I would defend you to anyone who didn’t think you were the best thing to ever happen to me, but now when we’re alone, you seem to be more like him and I don’t deserve that. You go figure out who you want to be with, but I’m not going to apologize for who I am, so don’t expect it.” She didn’t answer and just turned on her heels to leave. I heard the front door slam a few seconds later and just like every other time we’d fought, my stomach twisted into knots at the thought that this was the time we’d finally not get back together.

Chapter Eleven

Kane LIKE SOME KIND OF NOCTURNAL monster, I felt the sun finally set and the pull of her reaching out to me as it did every night. My body ached from drinking and my demons were in full rage tonight, but I had to see her. I couldn’t go a single day without seeing Abbi, even though I never could speak to her or even touch her. I knew it was wrong. She needed me to be there for her, and I wished I could more than anything else in the world, but that couldn’t happen. The risk my demons posed was too great, and I couldn’t take that chance that I’d hurt her more than I had already. If I could just stop loving her and stop needing to see her, I knew she’d be better off. She could forget me and move on to someone nice who could promise her a life of security and gentleness she deserved. My heart contracted in my chest at the thought of her with anyone else, but even this monster understood it was for the best. Now if I could just convince myself to let her go. I PARKED IN THE SAME spot every night, like some nightly ritual I needed to follow exactly or something might go wrong. I walked into the house at the same pace, never fearing I’d be stopped since Alexandria had told her people to let me go. Why, I didn’t understand. She seemed to care for Abbi, so what she should have done that first night was make sure I never came back again. But it wasn’t Alexandria’s job to stop this. I knew that. This would stop when I found the strength to stop it. If only I could. I climbed the stairs slowly, my feet landing on them as softly as nightfall itself so I didn’t risk waking Abbi. After all these months, I knew how much noise I could make before she’d open her eyes and see me. Once, back in late July, she woke and stared right into my eyes, her sleepy gaze making her unsure if I was real or a dream. I stood as still as a statue, struck by how much I’d missed seeing those soft blue eyes stare into mine, but I knew I had to leave. By the time she opened them up again, awake enough to check if I was truly there with her, I was gone. Her room, always open, waited for me at the end of the hall, and just like every night as I stepped into it, a feeling of relief washed over me when I entered and saw her there sleeping in her bed. All the hurt and rage that coursed through me every day vanished as soon as I laid eyes on her. I looked forward to this from the moment I woke each morning, the wait nearly killing me as I drank myself into some kind of pathetic oblivion each day to push away the pain of missing her so fucking much. She lay there quietly sleeping, her gentle breathing moving her body slightly up and down. Like an angel—my angel—she represented all the good I could find in this world, and the urge to reach out and touch her, to feel that good on my skin again, nearly overwhelmed me, but I knew better. I could only look. It was the only way I could know for sure I wouldn’t hurt her. Her blond hair, so much longer than when we first met, hid part of her beautiful face, and I crouched down next to her bed to get close so I could see that part of her. I wanted so much to brush that hair from her cheek and lean in to kiss her lips just once. Fighting the urge to do everything I knew was wrong, I sat

back on the floor and hung my head, missing everything about her more than ever. Tears burned my eyes, and I squeezed them shut to push away all those feelings I knew I shouldn’t have. She was better here alone without me. That was the hard truth I didn’t want to face and that I fought against every night, no matter how much I knew inside I couldn’t deny it. Her messages and calls pleading for me to return couldn’t change that truth, as much as I wished they could. My body hurt from wanting her, and I held my head in my hands as my favorite memory of us together settled into my mind. It’s what I thought of every time missing her got too much for me, like some beautiful way to soothe my soul of all its pain. Abbi lay her head on my chest and traced her finger down to just above the tattoo between my hips. I pressed my lips to the top of her head and kissed her hair, loving the flowery scent of her shampoo as it filled my nose. I could spend hours there with her in that bed and never say a word. Somehow the silence between us made me feel like she truly loved me, even though she knew who I was. That quiet acceptance that required no talking and no explanation filled me with happiness I’d never expected to find again in the world. Her mouth followed her finger’s trail, and she kissed over the words tattooed on my skin. DO NO HARM . It wasn’t meant to be sexual as much as respectful, and as I watched her carefully caress each letter with her lips, I loved her more because she knew how important that part of me was. Looking up, she smiled sweetly and whispered, “Of all your tattoos, this is my favorite. It’s everything you are, Kane.” I wished that was true. More than she could ever know, I wished I never did any harm. Even as I lay there with the woman I loved more than life itself, I knew all it would take would be one hurtful touch to her body or one angry word from someone in her direction and all my hopes of doing no harm would be pushed aside, replaced by the need to protect her. Abbi slid up my body and kissed my lips just as she’d kissed the tattooed skin between my hipbones. “I know what you go through, Kane, and I need you to know I believe in you.” “You believe in me?” She nodded and smiled in that way that never failed to make my heart squeeze with the purest happiness I’d ever known. “I believe in how good you are. I believe you are gentle and tender, even if everything on the outside says different.” “The tattoos and piercings?” “Yeah, I love them too, but I know what they hide. I’ve seen the kindness in you, so you can’t fool me, Kane Jackson.” I smiled at her sweet chastising of me. “Then I guess you just know who I am, angel.” “I do, and I don’t want you to ever forget that. I know what’s inside you, Kane. I’ve seen the goodness in your heart.” The goodness in my heart. I’d spent my life being told nothing good lived inside me, and now all Abbi could see was good in me. But she didn’t know what I knew. Cradling my face, she whispered against my lips, “Hey, where did you go off to there?” “All the days before I met you.” “Oh.” She knew there was something back there I needed to tell her. I’d danced around my past every time she asked, but I couldn’t anymore. She needed to know. “I have to tell you something about me, angel. I’m scared to death that you’ll run away when you

find out who I really am.” Shaking her head, she smiled that gentle smile I loved. “Never. I don’t care who were in the past or what you did. I know what I know, Kane, and that’s all I need. So you can tell me whatever you need to tell me, but it won’t change anything. I love you for all that you are, no matter how bad you’ve been told it is.” I took a deep breath and for only the second time in my life, I told another human being what I knew from the moment I was old enough to understand words. I’d been born to hurt. “My mother named me Kane because she said I was meant to hurt. My father left her the night he found out she was pregnant, and she knew exactly what she wanted to name me. After the world’s first murderer. I was her Cain.” The words came out in a rush, like they’d been waiting forever to be released to willing ears. I watched Abbi’s expression for any change—for any sign she was as horrified as I thought she should be—but her gentle smile never faded. I continued, “Every day of my life for as long as I can remember, my mother told me how I was meant to hurt. On her death bed, it gave her comfort to know that. I’ve never forgotten that. She was comforted to know that the son she was leaving behind knew his place in the world was to hurt. How could I ever be anything else if that’s all she saw in me?” “You are so much more than what she saw, Kane. I don’t know why she couldn’t or wouldn’t recognize that in you, but the goodness inside your heart is obvious to me.” Abbi’s words made the pain lessen, but it still remained and I needed her to know who she was with. “Then when I killed that man and that judge called me a monster, my entire life came full circle. That’s what she’d meant all those years. That I was meant to hurt others. I hurt him because he hurt Holly. I was meant to hurt. That’s my place in life.” I took a deep breath and finally told Abbi the truth that had weighed on my mind since the moment I met her. “I’m scared to death that’s all I am and I’ll hurt you, angel. It keeps me up nights and makes me want to push you away before I do anything bad. I don’t know how to be anything but what I’ve always been.” Abbi placed her hand over my heart and leaned down to kiss my chest. Looking up at me, she said the words I’d waited all my life to hear. “The people around us tell us what they want us to be, but you are who you are in your heart. No matter what your mother or that judge said, you are good and you are kind. You weren’t meant to hurt, Kane. You were meant to protect, and there is nothing more honorable than protecting the ones you love.” I wanted to believe her, and for a long while I did. But then my demons found a way to control me and I hurt someone again. I couldn’t risk doing that to her. Abbi stirred in her sleep and suddenly opened her eyes to look up at me. Lost in my memories of that sweet moment when she’d seen me as exactly the man I wanted to be, I’d forgotten to be careful and now I’d been caught. She gazed at me with a look full of love, and I stood up, riveted to the spot, never wanting to leave her side. “Kane? Are you here?” she asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes. “Is this just a dream?” I remained there like my feet were encased in concrete, unable to move but knowing I must. I wanted to crawl into that bed next to her and take her into my arms to feel her body against mine. I missed that calm she brought to me, the ability she had with nothing but her hands holding me to make me happy again. My need for her and the desire to finally be back in her world crashed into the reality I knew I

couldn’t deny. She and I couldn’t be together for all the reasons I knew better than I knew my own name. I was no good for her, and I had to protect her. Before she could realize if I was real or a dream, I raced down the stairs out to my car, my limbs warring with my heart as they forced me to drive away. I looked back in the rearview mirror and didn’t see her watching me as I left, so all I could pray was she thought she’d had a dream and had gone back to sleep. For me, there would be no sleep, like so many other nights. No amount of alcohol would let me lapse into some drunken stupor and give me relief after seeing her like that tonight. I’d convinced myself that I could go out there to see her every night, thinking that would be enough, but it wasn’t anymore. I needed her back by my side, but I couldn’t put her in that kind of danger. But for the first time since I’d lost her, I wanted to say the love we could have again would be worth the risk.

Chapter Twelve

Shay I LEFT STEFAN’S CONDO UNSURE where to go or what to do. I hadn’t wanted us to fight again. For God’s sake, I’d defended him to that asshole Kevin at the party, so why when it came right down to it couldn’t I do the same when Stefan needed me to right there in front of him? Maybe our differences were too great. I didn’t want to believe that. Stefan had everything I loved in a boyfriend. Carefree and free-spirited, he loved life like no other man I’d ever met. Like no other person I’d ever met. Nothing wore him down. I spent my days with people whose furrowed brows made them feel proud, like being miserable and serious all the time meant they’d accomplished something great in life. But that wasn’t Stefan. He was smiles and laughter, a good time when the world felt like it weighed on my shoulders. I craved that lightness in my life like a plant craved sunlight and rain, and he provided my soul that nourishment. So why the hell did I fight him every chance I got, even when I wanted to take him into my arms and tell him how much I adored each moment he made my life better? I wanted to return to those days when he and I were happy. Nights at Club X when it was all flirting and sexy smiles. The problem was he had never changed from that. He still was that Stefan he’d always been—the unbelievably sexy club owner who set his sights on me the first time we met and challenged every one of my defenses until he found a way into my heart. The change couldn’t be blamed on him. He hadn’t changed. I had. That sexy bartender he fell for, the girl who couldn’t help but be enchanted by the man who wanted me to bury him in the sand under the full moon, had morphed into one of the people she spent her days with. Serious, with a furrowed brow, and so sure what she did meant so much more than a mere club owner. In just a few months, I’d become what I hated, and now I took it out on the man I loved every chance I got. I knew I should turn myself around and march right back to tell him all of this, but the distance between us felt so great that I didn’t think I could. I had to make sure I said the right words or I’d end up ruining the best thing to ever happen to me. No, not my education or my degrees. They’d always be there as great accomplishments for me, and I would always be proud of them. No, the best thing to ever happen to me was having Stefan in my life. After a half hour walking the streets of Tampa, I wanted company. Grabbing a cab, I gave the only address that jumped into my head and settled back into the seat as the driver took me to the one place where Stefan and I had always been happy. Club X. I stepped out onto the curb in front of the dark building and a part of me mourned the ending of this place that had been the start of something so good. Maybe it was still a symbol for our relationship, except now instead of it being a fun, sexy place it had turned to just empty and closed off. Walking around the building, I saw Kane’s Mustang parked in the back and walked up to the fourth floor where I knew he kept his rooms. Stefan had mentioned that he’d returned to staying there after Abbi began living at Alexandria’s house on Anna Maria Island, so I took a chance at finding him. I didn’t know why, but I needed to talk to someone who knew how much Stefan meant to me.

The hallway into the building’s fourth floor had no light whatsoever, so I walked down the pitch black passageway feeling my way until I saw a tiny crack of light under a doorway. Not sure what I’d find, I knocked and waited for an answer. Kane opened the door and looked down at me through what appeared to be a drunken haze. “Science girl, what are you doing here?” he slurred. “I just needed to talk to someone. Can I come in?” He shrugged and stepped back to let me through. “I guess. Come on in.” I walked in and looked around at where he lived, surprised at the complete difference between his rooms and Stefan’s condo. Stark and almost penitent, this place felt like some kind of prison cell. He stood at the door as it closed in just a pair of jeans and work boots, and even though the months of punishment he’d put himself through had changed his body, he still appeared huge standing there. “Nice place. Early cellblock D, I think?” I joked, unsure of how to approach his misery as mine mixed with it. “It’s right for me.” “Mind if I sit?” I asked as I pointed to an old black couch along the wall. “Feel free. My couch is yours for as long as you need.” He handed me a bottle of Jack Daniels and added, “Want something to drink?” “Thanks. I think I need it tonight.” I lifted the bottle to my mouth and chugged a mouthful, feeling the alcohol immediately hit my system. I hadn’t drank in so long it would only take a few swigs before I was completely hammered at that rate. Pointing toward the other room, he said, “Feel free to watch TV. I’ll be in there.” As he turned to walk away, I said quickly, “Wait, Kane. I need someone to talk to. You don’t have to say much. I just don’t want to be alone.” He thought about what I said for a long moment and nodded. “Okay. Misery does love company.” “Thanks.” I sat down as he took his place at the other end of the couch and before I could stop myself, the words began to spill out of my mouth. “Stefan and I had a fight. I don’t know what to do. I’m fucking this all up, and I can’t seem to fix it. It’s like some horrible train wreck only I can prevent, and I’m not doing anything to stop it.” Kane took a deep breath and let his head rest on the back of the couch. “I’m the last person you want advice from, Shay.” “I don’t want advice. I know what I have to do. I just don’t know why I’m not doing it.” “Maybe you don’t love him. Ever think of that?” he asked with such a sharpness to his voice that for the first time I understood why Stefan didn’t like him much. “What makes you think that? Why would you say that?” He shrugged. “Just a question. I meant nothing by it.” I took another mouthful of whisky and let it drop down into my stomach, burning every inch on the way down. Clearing my throat, I said, “You did mean something by it. Just come out with it.” “I don’t know. You two seem to fight a lot. Maybe the love just isn’t there.” God, this guy was exactly what Stefan had said he was. What an asshole! I turned toward where he sat and pointed my finger at him. “What the fuck do you know? You sit here all day drinking yourself into a hole while that beautiful soul waits every day for you and begs you to return to her and your baby. So what the fuck do you know about love?” He turned away as a look of hurt settled into his blue eyes. “Obviously not much.” This was a mistake. Kane wasn’t the person I needed to talk to. Stefan was. All Kane was now was a

broken shell of a person I’d known. Standing, I looked down at him and tried to understand what had happened to him, but I couldn’t. Whoever he was now, he wasn’t interested in letting any of us in. “I think I better go.” He said nothing as I moved toward the door, but as I opened it, I heard him rasp in his low voice, “Don’t let him go, Shay. You’ll never forgive yourself, and trust me, that’s not a life you want to live.” I stared over at him as he sat hunched over on the end of the couch and couldn’t help but feel like the guy was coming apart right in front of me. He may not see what Stefan and I had, or maybe he did, but he needed a friend and I did too, so I slowly closed the door and sat back down. “What happened to you, Kane? What happened to that dark guy who ruled the fantasies of others on these top floors? That guy who was so cool and badass.” He shook his head. “He was never real. That was just a face I put on for the world. Until Abbi. Once she came into my life, that guy ceased to exist.” “So what’s wrong with this one? What’s making you like this?” He looked up at me with a look of pain in his dark blue eyes so heartbreaking that I nearly turned away. “I can’t be with her because all I do is hurt. It’s all I’ve ever done. I’m trying so hard to let her go and it’s not working.” “Why do you want to let go of someone you love so much?” Lifting his hands, he curled his fingers into tight fists and held them up in front of him. “Because I’ll just end up hurting her, and I can’t live with that.” I watched as the skin over his knuckles turned stark white and his hands trembled from fear or anger. I couldn’t figure out which, but they shook so violently I couldn’t help myself and reached over to cup my palms over his fists. He looked at me as if he didn’t know how to react, like touching those angry hands was some unbearable sin. He tried to pull them away, but I held tight and said, “I don’t believe you would hurt Abbi for anything, Kane. I don’t know why you think you would.” “Because I’ve done it before. Didn’t Stefan tell you? I’ve killed two men with these hands. Two lives taken because I couldn’t control my demons. I was meant to hurt, and that’s all there is to me.” His hands fell away from my hold, and I couldn’t help feel like everything bad he thought about himself had always been tied up in those angry fists. “He told me. I know what you’ve done, and I still don’t think you’d hurt her like that.” “Nobody understands. I don’t think I’d use them on her or the baby. But what if in a moment of rage, when I can’t control my demons, I turn on someone who does something to hurt her or our child? She doesn’t deserve to believe in a life with me only to have it torn away because I have to go to prison again.” “Kane, you can’t spend your life worrying about something that might happen. Those two events aren’t all you are.” He looked up at me and shook his head. “You sound like Cash. I can’t change who I’ve always been. I should have known better than to start anything with Abbi. She deserved so much better.” “Why do you say you’ve always been like this? Twice is not your entire life.” Kane sat back against the couch and reached his hand out for the whisky bottle. Taking a drink from it, he cradled the base against his chest and said in whisper, “Every day of my life my mother told me I was meant to hurt. My entire life she knew what I was. No matter what, the one who gave birth to you knows who you are.” “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” “What?”

“You heard me. Unless you’re claiming that came from being totally fucked up drunk, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. What kind of mother tells her kid he’s meant to hurt? How could you be meant to hurt when you were just a little boy?” “She named me fucking Kane, for God’s sake, Shay. The woman told me the story of Cain and Abel every day to make sure I understood why she named me that. She thought I was meant to hurt.” “Well, then I’m sorry to say that’s even dumber than the first thing you said. So that’s what all this is about? Some self-fulfilling prophecy because you had the world’s worst mother?” “It’s not that fucking easy. Just fucking go away,” he spat out as he lifted the bottle to his lips again. “It is that fucking easy, Kane. Well, maybe it’s not, but it certainly does explain things a bit about what you’re doing with all this self-hatred. We can’t be responsible for what our parents put on us, no matter what fucked up shit it is. You didn’t deserve that, but I’m guessing it’s going to take a whole lot more than some almost drunk girl to convince you of that.” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “I wish it was that easy. If I’d never done anything to make what she said true, I might be able to blame it all on her. But I did. Those two men are dead by my hands. Someone like that needs to be alone so he doesn’t hurt anyone ever again.” “So instead of taking a chance at love with someone so terrific she still believes in you with all her heart and soul months after you abandoned her, you chose to sit in these shitty rooms and drink every day and night.” “And go to see her as she sleeps every night out at the Anna Maria Island house,” he said quietly. “You are the most tortured soul I’ve ever met. Jesus, you’ve got a whole Heathcliff thing going on, Kane.” “Who?” “Nobody. So what are you going to do? Stay here forever while Abbi and the baby live out there just a few miles away like that’s normal?” He took a drink of whisky and passed the bottle to me. “You make it sound so easy, Shay. It’s not. I’m fucked up and I shouldn’t be with anyone.” “Then why did you go with her in the first place?” “I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to. The first time I saw her I knew I’d never be without her again in some way, even if she was just in my thoughts. But then I saw her standing up on that stage at that shitty club with all those men leering at her and I couldn’t let that happen. She needed me and I needed her.” “So what’s changed? She obviously needs you still, even more now, actually.” “Yeah.” “And you don’t need her anymore? Is that it?” He shook his head and smiled. “I need her as much as I need air to keep me alive. I’m dying here without her, Shay.” “And yet you still cling to some crazy idea your mother had about you being someone meant to hurt. Sounds right.” “I’m so fucking tired of being that person, do you know that? I just want to be a normal guy who has a normal life. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But whatever demons I have inside me won’t let that happen. I know that.” I turned to face him. Folding my legs underneath me, I took his hands in mine and said, “You have all sorts of people who love you, Kane. Abbi loves you more than even you know. No woman I’ve ever heard of would wait for a man like she has with you. She believes in you, no matter how you feel about yourself. Alexandria loves you like a son, even if you don’t know it. And your brothers love you. You have love all around you. All you have to do is let it in.”

He looked down at me holding his hands and asked, “And when I hurt her just like my mother always said I would?” “You’ve got to let that go, honey. Your mother messed you up, but you have a chance with your kid. You can change the whole thing just by accepting that who you are isn’t what you’ve done. You have a woman who loves you more than anything in the world, and you love her too. It’s time to let the past go. Let that hurt go, Kane.” “I wish it was that easy.” “It is. So now that I’ve solved all your problems, give me that bottle and let’s get going on solving mine,” I said with a smile, hoping some of what I’d said would stay with him. I didn’t expect to change his mind about things he’d been dealing with all his life, but maybe if just once he let himself think he could love without hurting, he could start to move on from what his mother had done to him. I took the bottle and chugged the whisky much too fast. Slamming it down on the coffee table in front of us, I chuckled. “We better hurry with this help before I pass out. I’m not much of a drinker anymore.” “I can’t tell you what to do like you can with me, but I will say that Stefan has never been a better person than when he’s been with you.” “Stefan isn’t like you, Kane. He’s fun and light, just what I love. Just what I need.” “Then what are you doing here drinking with me after fighting with him?” “I don’t know. I can’t seem to stop what’s happening between us. I love him, but maybe what you said to him about us being too different is right. But you were wrong when you told him I’d figure it out and leave him. I don’t want to do that. I just don’t know how to bridge our differences.” Kane leaned over to grab the Jack Daniels. “What the fuck do I know about how two people can be together? Why are either one of you listening to me?” “Because he’s the youngest and you and Cash are older brothers he looks up to.” “Tell him to listen to Cash. He seems to have the right idea. At least he and Olivia are happy.” “I can’t tell him anything, it seems! Every time we talk, all we end up doing is fighting.” I covered my face and began to cry, exhausted from how much I hated being away from Stefan and how bad things had gotten between us. “All I want is us to be happy. Is that so much to ask?” Kane pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me as I continued to sob over the mess I’d made of my relationship. Quietly, he said, “It’s okay, science girl. You two will figure it out. In the morning, when you aren’t so drunk, you’ll go back to him and you guys can try again.” I buried my face in his chest and shook my head. “And we’ll fight like we always do. It’s a horrible, vicious cycle, Kane. I don’t know how to fix it.” Smoothing my hair down my back, he tried to make me feel better. “Sometimes we just have to think we’ve lost everything before it becomes clear how much we love someone. I bet Stefan is over at his place a mess because you didn’t come back tonight.” How much I wished that was so! I wiped my eyes and looked up at Kane, finally able to tell the truth of why I came back early. “Do you know I left my position in Copenhagen because I was afraid he was with someone else?” Kane arched one dark eyebrow and narrowed his eyes in disbelief. “Really? Shay, for all of Stefan’s faults, I can promise you he hasn’t been with anyone since you left.” “I had all these horrible thoughts of him with someone like Lola again, and then the vision of him with her that night in his office—” Again, I couldn’t contain the tears as they began to roll down my cheeks, and I closed my eyes, embarrassed by my actions. Kane squeezed me in a hug that felt so good after all those months of being worried that Stefan was only pretending each night as we talked, and I melted into his hold.

“He hasn’t been doing anything. He’s a changed man, Shay. He loves you, so it was all in your mind.” “What’s wrong with me? I find a guy I’m crazy about and then proceed to sabotage it every chance I get. I know you think Stefan is a fuck up, but he’s not, Kane. He’s a great guy who makes me happy and brings fun that I desperately need into my life.” Kane looked down at me and shook his head. “For as smart as you are, Shay, you’re sort of stupid when it comes to stuff like this. There’s your problem. It’s in you, not Stefan. Tell the truth. Has he changed at all since you two got together? I don’t mean being a player and that shit. I mean since you two fell for each other. Has he changed at all?” I took a deep breath and thought about his question, but I knew the answer. “No. He’s the same fun guy who makes me smile and gives me just what I need after a day of dealing with people just like me.” “So you changed?” Hanging my head, I closed my eyes and nodded. “Yeah. I became one of those people I swore I’d never be. Serious scientist who doesn’t know how to have fun or even have a relationship without fucking it up by being insecure or socially inept.” Kane didn’t say anything more. He didn’t have to. I had my answer. Things between Stefan and me weren’t right because of me. He’d signed on to spend time with a girl who loved to have fun, and what he got was this person who acted like his owning a fantasy club was some kind of crime or embarrassment. Exhausted from everything that had happened, I let myself drift off as Kane continued to drink himself into the stupor that helped him deal with what he’d done to his life. I got it now. I lashed out, but he turned inward and that’s how we avoided seeing what we were doing to the people around us. I could change, though, and in the morning I’d begin to show Stefan how much I loved him and how much I needed him. I just hoped Kane could find the strength to change for Abbi too.

Chapter Thirteen

Kane A HEAVY BANGING ON MY door woke me from a drunken sleep, and I looked down to see Shay’s dark head resting on my chest. Unsure of what had happened for a moment, my mind struggled to remember our conversation while I decided if I should open the door for whoever thought hammering on it was a good idea, no matter what the time of day. Better to just have them come in and get it over with since it was probably Cash checking up on me again, so I yelled, “Come in!” and prayed to God the banging would stop. Shay looked up at me and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What’s going on?” “I think Cash is here to make sure I haven’t slipped into the abyss. It’s morning, I think.” Slowly, she lifted herself off me and nodded, as confused as I was. “Okay. Mind if I use your bathroom to clean myself up? Nothing like a Jack Daniels’ hangover to make a woman look great.” Scrubbing the night from my face, I pointed toward the bathroom. “Go ahead.” The person at my front door pounded even harder now, so I barked, “Come the fuck in, but stop that banging!” The door swung open and there in front of me stood Stefan obviously flustered over something. Shay stopped dead in her tracks, and instantly I knew this was bad. I saw it in his eyes. The hurt. The betrayal. Everything he’d always feared about Shay and me come true right in front of his eyes. Stefan’s mouth hung open for a moment as the scene filtered through his brain, and I quickly stood to convince him that what he saw wasn’t what he thought he was seeing. “This isn’t what it looks like. Shay just came over to talk and we drank a little too much.” He looked at Shay and then back at me. “Yeah, whatever. That’s not why I’m here. My mother has been trying to call you all night. Abbi had some kind of problem and went into labor last night. She’s at Tampa General and my mother wanted me to tell you that you need to get there now.” “What? Abbi’s nowhere close to being full term,” Shay said as my mind switched into high gear at the news that Abbi was in the hospital. Stefan looked at her for a moment and said nothing, instead just repeating to me that I needed to go now. While I searched for a clean shirt, I left him and Shay alone to deal with their issues, but by the time I got back, Stefan had left and she was in tears. He’d seen what he’d most feared and there wasn’t much she could do about it until she caught up with him. I stammered, “I have to go. Just catch up to him and try to get him to talk.” Shaking her head, she waved me off. “Go. Abbi needs you. Get to that hospital and take care of her and that little baby of yours. I’ll be fine.” The only thing I could think of was Abbi hurt and lying in a hospital bed as our child fought for life. All the nonsense I’d filled my head with all these months disappeared, and for the first time in far too long, I knew what I had to do.

* ALEXANDRIA WAITED OUTSIDE OF ABBI’S hospital room with a look of pure worry on her face. Reaching out

for me, she took my hands as I walked up to her and her eyes filled with tears. “Kane, she had the baby and she’s okay. The baby’s only twenty-four weeks, so that’s not the best case scenario. But Abbi’s going to be so happy to see you.” “How bad is it?” I asked, my heart in my throat. “She’s very premature, honey. Very. She’s just a tiny little thing, so she needs a lot of help.” “The baby’s a girl?” I asked as the reality of fatherhood settled into my brain. I had a baby girl. Abbi and I had a baby girl. Alexandria wiped a tear from under her eye and smiled meekly. “Yes. Abbi named her Annalea Jackson, and she’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see.” “Where is she?” “She’s in the NICU, and she’ll be there for a long time. Twenty-four weeks is very early, Kane, so she has a long road ahead of her.” “Is she…” I stopped talking and tried to figure out how to ask what I needed to. “Is she okay?” “Preemies have a lot of difficulties, so she’s hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes now. When you see her, it will be jarring at first, but I just want you to remember that’s your little girl in there when you go in. She needs you to fight for her now, Kane. She needs both her parents to fight for her.” My mind whirled with thoughts of my daughter hooked up to machines and barely clinging to life, but I had to see Abbi first. I had to make sure she knew I was there for her. I had to begin making up for all those months of being absent. “How’s Abbi?” Alexandria hung her head and sighed. “I think she’s holding up pretty well, all things considered. She started to bleed during the night, so I rushed her here. I tried to call a dozen times, but your phone just kept going directly to voicemail. She had Annalea right before dawn this morning. Why don’t you go in and talk to her? I know it would make things so much better right now if she had you by her side.” “Okay. I’ve got a lot to make up for, so I better get going. Thanks for taking care of her all these months when I couldn’t get my head out of my ass. I don’t know what we would have done if you weren’t there for her, Alexandria. I’ll never forget that.” She opened her arms and hugged me tightly. “Oh, honey. It was my pleasure. I love her like she’s one of my own. I love you like you’re one of my own. All I want to see is you two happy, so get in there and start that happening so soon you two and that precious little girl can have the life you all deserve.” I looked down at this woman who I’d thought hated me for so long and couldn’t help but wish she’d been my mother for all those years when I needed someone like her in my life. Thanking her, I walked to the door and looked through the thin strip of glass to see Abbi sitting alone in her bed. I had no idea what I needed to say, but I knew now was the time for me to be there for her and Annalea. She turned to look at me as I opened the door, and tears began streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed, “Oh, Kane, you came! I don’t know what happened, but the baby got here early and I was all alone and now she’s in the NICU hooked up to all those wires. What if she doesn’t make it?” For the first time in months, I took her into my arms and held her to me, loving how she melded to my body like after all this time we still were one. She felt right there with me, and I couldn’t imagine anywhere else in the world I wanted to be for the rest of time. “It’s okay. She’ll be okay. She’s a fighter like her mother. We’ll take care of her, Abbi. No matter what, we’re all together in this.” “All together?” she asked as she looked up at me with watery blue eyes. “Does this mean you’ve come back to me?” “Yeah,” I said as I kissed her gently on those lips I’d missed for so long. “I’ve been a goddamned

fool, Abbi. I’m sorry. I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to you for all that I’ve done, but I’m here to say I’m going to try. I just didn’t want to hurt you, but now I see that what I was doing was hurting you more. I’m sorry, angel.” The tears ran down her cheeks and she sobbed, “I’ve waited so long for you to call me that again, Kane. I didn’t know why you didn’t love me anymore or what I’d done, but I never gave up. Every day I waited and believed you’d see we belonged together and you’d come back, and now you have. Oh, Kane, I missed you so much.” “I know, angel, and I missed you. I never stopped loving you. Never. And now our baby needs us to be there for her, so I’m not going anywhere. I’ve missed too much time with you already. I don’t want to miss a minute more, and we’ve got a life ahead of us with Annalea that I can’t wait for.” She leaned her head against my chest, and I stroked her long blond hair, loving the silky feel of it against my fingertips. In a whisper, she said, “She has your eyes. They’re bright and intense, even though she’s so early. Wait until you see her. She’s just the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe we made that incredible little girl.” “I can’t wait to see her with you, but I need to know you’re okay, Abbi.” Looking up at me, she nodded and smiled through her tears. “I’m okay now. I missed you so much, Kane. I was afraid this day would never come. That you’d never come back and I’d lost you forever, but I kept telling myself that no matter what you were going through, I had to believe in you. I had to.” I cradled her face and kissed her softly. “I’m so sorry, angel. I was so lost for so long that I didn’t see what I was doing. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t. I thought I was keeping you safe from me.” She held her slender hands over mine and shook her head. “Why would I ever have to be safe from you? Why would you think that?” “Because of my demons. I was afraid that someday they’d get a hold of me again and hurt someone and then you and the baby would be left alone because I wasn’t able to control them.” “So it wasn’t that you were afraid of hurting me or the baby?” “I would never do that, angel. Never. I would never hurt you or her. I just worried about becoming that man who hurt people again. What if I did that and was sent to prison again? That wouldn’t be fair to promise you a life together if I was taken away.” She looked at me with all the love she had inside. “I don’t care why you’re back. I’m just happy you are. I need you. I’ve always needed you.” “I know, and I should have been there. I’m going to try every day from now on to make it up to you for being away all those months. I swear, Abbi. I won’t screw up again. I’m going to do whatever I have to for you and Annalea. You can count on me.” Abbi squeezed me to her and kissed me like we’d never been apart. “I love you, Kane. You’re a good man. I’m glad you finally realized it.” “I’m so sorry it took so long.” “Was it the text I sent yesterday? I had a feeling about you as I sat in my room and felt like I should remind you about how good you’ve been to me since that first day we met. You’re a protector, Kane. Don’t ever forget that.” “No, angel. I was too stupid to see what you saw, but last night Shay set me straight. I suddenly saw as I talked to her that I’d been blind in thinking that I was protecting you by staying away.” “Shay?” “Yeah. She and Stefan are having some problems and she came over to talk about them. She showed me what a damn fool I’ve been all this time. You needed me, and I was nowhere to be found, but she called me on it.”

Abbi leaned back away from me and knitted her brows. “That’s great that she could help you find your way back to me, Kane. After all those months of me professing my love in texts and voicemails because you refused to answer me, Shay’s the one who ends up convincing you that you should come back to the woman carrying your baby. Well, thank you Shay.” “What’s wrong? She just said what she knew someone should to defend you. I’m thankful she finally got through this thick head of mine because I was wrong. I know that now, angel.” “You were wrong and you know that now because Shay told you? Not because your girlfriend who loves you and never stopped believing in you told you that every day? How do you think that makes me feel? You’re off having chats with your buddy Shay while I’m pregnant out at that island house you exiled me to, but I should be happy you finally found your way back because some other woman explained it all to you?” “Angel, it’s not like that. I love you. She just was able to make me see how wrong I’d been all this time. I can’t protect you from hurt by staying away.” “You seem to have been pretty successful for all those months, but thanks to Shay you finally found your way back.” “Abbi, I love you and I’m going to do whatever I need to show you that.” “Except come back to me when I beg you to instead of when someone else says it’s time!” she yelled, making me step back in surprise. “Angel…” She pushed her hands out in front of her to keep me away and screamed, “Get out of here! I don’t want to see you! You left me when I needed you most and stuck me out at that house not caring that you were breaking my heart every day, and now I hear that you didn’t come back because of me but because of someone else? Get out of here and don’t come back!” I tried to reach out to her, but she forced me away. “It’s not like that, angel. I love you. I never stopped loving you.” “Don’t call me that! And don’t come back here. You didn’t seem to give a damn about our baby for all those months you left me alone, so I don’t see you caring if she dies. Go away!” She covered her face in her hands and cried so hard I couldn’t help but want to take her into my arms and never let her go. I tried, but she flailed so violently against me that I just stepped back in shock. It had never occurred to me that she wouldn’t take me back, but now that reality was one I had to deal with. I couldn’t give up on her, though. I had to show her I loved her. “Abbi, I’m sorry I didn’t do this the right way, but I’m here now and I’m not going away again. I promise you that.” Shaking her head, she lay down on the bed and brought the blankets up over her face to ignore me. “Go away!” she sobbed. “Just go away. I don’t want to see you anymore.” I stared down at her as she cried and knew I was the reason for her sadness again. For months, I’d hurt her by abandoning her and now I’d hurt her again by not seeing all those times she tried to talk to me, all I had to do was listen. Instead, I’d listened to someone else and made Abbi feel less important again. She didn’t deserve that. I wanted to explain myself, but I couldn’t hurt her anymore, so I left to go see our little girl. Alexandria stood outside in the hallway and frowned as I left Abbi’s room. “She just needs time, Kane. It’s been very traumatic for her. She’ll come around.” “I didn’t mean to hurt her again. I didn’t think it would matter why I realized I should come. I guess I was wrong.” She squeezed my wrist in support and smiled. “No woman wants to think that the man she loves

couldn’t figure out he loved her without another woman’s help, Kane. She’ll come around, though. I know she will. She loves you more than you even know. She wouldn’t have waited for you if she didn’t.” “I’ve screwed this up bad, but I have to try to fix it. I’ll give her a little time. I need to see Annalea, though. I need to see my little girl.” “Okay,” Alexandria said as she began to guide me down the hallway toward the NICU. “She’s down here. Just remember what I said before. She needs you to fight for her now, so you be there for her and her mother.” I WALKED INTO THE NICU suite at Tampa General and my breath caught in my chest. After scrubbing my hands and arms and donning all the required garb, I felt sort of like a scientist going into one of those decompression chambers they put astronauts in after they come back from outer space. The room buzzed and beeped from machines that gave it a cold, sterile feeling, and my heart contracted at the thought that this was where my little girl would have to spend her time until she got strong enough to come home. “Mr. Jackson?” I turned to see an older woman with grey eyes motion toward where she stood and walked over to stand next to her. “Yes?” “Your daughter is right here. Now don’t feel frightened or pressured to do anything. We’re here for her and for you. She’s stable and although she’s very small at just two pounds, it’s important you spend time with her, including touching her. She needs you to introduce yourself to her world, so just take your time and relax. She’ll get to know you and you’ll see how much that means to both her and you.” I looked into the isolette and there lay the tiniest human being I’d ever seen in my life. Abbi’s kitten had been bigger when I brought her home that day. Annalea lay on her back just like Alexandria had warned me—with tubes and wires attached to her to help her alive minute to minute. Choking up, I stared at that beautiful little person who I prayed would someday look up at me and call me Daddy. She had almost no hair, but the little bit she did have was pale blond like her mother’s. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I remembered Abbi saying our daughter had my eyes and I hoped to someday soon see her look at me so I could see for myself. I timidly touched my hand to her leg that couldn’t have been thicker than my middle finger and felt her skin. So new and so soft, she was so fragile that I wanted to take her into my arms and never let her go for fear that the world might hurt her if I did. The elderly nurse looked over at me and smiled as I slid my hand away. “Would you like to hold her? It’s been proven that babies need the touch of their parents. It’s good for them.” “I don’t want to hurt her,” I said, pushing down the emotion that came from just the thought of any harm coming to her. “You won’t hurt her, Mr. Jackson. You can sit in the rocking chair and I’ll put her on your chest. It’s called Kangaroo Care. It’s wonderful for preemies like Annalea.” “Okay. What do I have to do?” “I just need you to sit down and get comfortable, and then open your shirt. I’ll place her in the middle of your chest and then all you have to do is hold her. You can rock slowly, if you want too.” I did as the Ellen the NICU nurse said and waited for her to lift Annalea out of her isolette. She moved her legs slightly as she was carried over to me, and then the nurse placed her on my skin and I instantly felt like the whole world washed over me like a tidal wave. Even with all the plastic tubes and wires, she melded to my chest like she immediately knew who I was. “Now close your shirt up to her neck and I’ll place a blanket over her to keep her warm.” I carefully closed the two sides of my shirt around Annalea, and Ellen covered her with a white

blanket before she stepped back and smiled down at me. “She looks right at home there with you, Dad. Now just relax and enjoy your time with her. She’s loving it, so don’t worry.” Gently, I placed my hand over her tiny back and held her to me, loving the feel of her against my body as I protected her from the world outside the security of my shirt. I slowly began rocking the chair back and forth as I talked to my little girl for the first time, sure that while she would never remember these first moments together that I would never forget them. “I’m your dad, Annalea,” I whispered as I leaned down to touch her forehead gently with my cheek. “I haven’t been the kind of man anyone would want for a father before this very moment, but I promise I’m here for you now and forever.” I thought about everything I’d done in my life and how much it hadn’t meant anything as much as being there for Annalea and Abbi. I may not have had parents who cared about me the way I wished they had, but I was going to be the kind of father my daughter could be proud of and the kind of man she and Abbi needed me to be. “Your mom isn’t too happy with me right now, but I promise I’ll change that too,” I whispered as I rocked her slowly back and forth. “You just watch. We’re all starting out a little rough, but don’t worry. I have you, Annalea.” A half hour later my first visit with my daughter had ended, and I felt like I was walking on air. I needed to talk to Abbi and tell her how much I adored her, but Alexandria stopped me as I walked to her room. “How was your visit with that beautiful baby girl of yours?” she asked as she gently blocked the door. “It was incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that in my life. I need to talk to Abbi now, though.” “I think it might be a good idea if you gave her a little time, Kane. She’s going through a lot right now, so just a little time might make things better for the both of you. I know it’s hard, but she gave you time. Now you need to give her the same. Just don’t give up on her. She never gave up on you.” After my visit with Annalea, knowing Abbi didn’t want to see me made my heart sink, but Alexandria was right. I could be there for her in other ways, though. I nodded my understanding and quietly said, “I need help. I need to do the right thing now, and that means getting help with my problem.” She lifted her hands to cradle my face and smiled in that motherly way that I’d never known from anyone but her. “You do, and the first step is knowing it. I’m proud of you, Kane. Don’t worry. I know this is hard, but it will get easier. I promise.” Taking a deep breath, I tried to smile as every ounce of my being silently pledged to do whatever I had to do to make a life for Abbi and Annalea. I looked in through the window at Abbi in her hospital bed and promised her even though I’d let her down up until now, everything would change. I’d change.

Chapter Fourteen

Stefan THE BEIGE WALLS OF MY condo felt like they were closing in on me with every minute I stayed there. I wanted to leave. I wanted to forget everything I’d seen and heard that morning, but something made me stay. I should have left. Nothing good would come from Shay returning and finding me there. All we’d do is fight like we always did. The time for that was over. She made sure of that. I paced across the floor from the window overlooking the bay to the kitchen and back until I was sure there would be a path worn in the carpet. My hands shook from anger as I thought about seeing her standing there in Kane’s apartment looking all sleepy from a night with him. Had they slept together? Fuck, I couldn’t even think of that without my stomach feeling like someone punched me with their fist square in the ribs. I could handle a lot of things, but not that. I had to get the hell out of there. Even my own home felt like enemy territory now. I hurried to the bedroom to find a gym bag to stuff some clothes into. Just a few things so I could have something to wear wherever I ended up going. “Stefan!” Shay yelled as she opened the door. “Are you here?” Her voice sounded panicked. It should. This time she’d taken things too far. I ignored her as my mind raced with what I wanted to say, what I wanted her to say. So much had already been said between us, but now after all this time, I didn’t know if anything we said would be enough. She appeared in the doorway, and I felt her stare on the side of my face as I continued to pack clothes in the bag on the bed in front of me. The anticipation of who would speak first and what they’d say hung in the air. I’d never been one to shy away from a fight, but this time I wasn’t sure it was one I wanted to spend my time on. “Stefan, you rushed out of there so fast you didn’t give me a chance to explain.” Without looking at her, I answered, “No need. I saw everything I needed to see.” She stepped into the room and out of the corner of my eye I saw she moved more timidly than usual. She knew. There’s a point when even the nicest person crosses the line and then all bets are off as to how others will react. That’s where she’d taken us last night. “It wasn’t like that, Stefan. I wouldn’t do that to you.” I shrugged, unsure of what she meant. She wouldn’t turn to the one person in the world I never wanted her to be around? She wouldn’t share a night with my bastard half-brother who everyone seemed to give more than enough fucks about these days? She wouldn’t sleep with Kane and then turn around and lie to me about it? She took another step or two and stopped. “I was hoping we could talk.” Shaking my head, I choked back the rage slowly building within me. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to yell. I wanted to hit. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that whatever I’d fucking done didn’t mean it was okay for her to betray me. “Please, Stefan. It’s important. We need to talk about us.”

Her use of the word us set something off in my brain, and I looked up at her to see her green eyes hopeful, like all we needed to do was talk about us and everything would be okay. Like any amount of talking we’d ever done had ever fixed anything. “You want to talk about us, Shay? Us? What about us would you like to talk about? Who is us? You and me? You and me and Kane? What the fuck does us mean to you now?” The first touch of her hand on my arm sent me reeling back, and I almost tripped over my own feet trying to get away from her. I stared at where she’d touched me and then up at her, shaking my head again. I couldn’t do this. Not now. Everything about it was too raw, too right on the surface. “Stefan, please. Just let me explain and you’ll see it’s all okay. It wasn’t what you think you saw.” Fuck, the walls felt like they were pressing against my shoulders. I took a deep breath as my heart raced. “It’s not okay. Nothing is okay. You went to the one person in the world you knew I’d hate you going to.” “I know you and Kane have some problems, but he’s your brother and he loves you. He just wants to see us happy.” As her words filtered into my head, everything around me seemed to stop, like life stopped and all that was left was me standing there watching it. “He loves me? What the fuck do I care if Kane loves me or not? Kane loving me isn’t the issue, Shay. You went to him instead of coming to me. You went to him!” She reached her hand out again, this time touching my wrist, and for a moment my body reacted as it always had to how she felt against me. I loved it. I wanted to feel her in my arms as I held her tightly to me. But then the image of her standing in Kane’s shitty rooms looking like she’d just woken up on top of him and him standing there half-dressed pushed all those wonderful feelings for her out of my mind, and a tidal wave of nothing but hurt and anger rushed in. “Please, listen to me. I was angry at you, but I know I was wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. I know now it’s all me. I’ve been the problem. But we can fix that. I can fix that.” Her words jumbled in my mind with the images I couldn’t forget of her and Kane, and I shook my head violently trying to find some way to deal with everything she was saying. As she continued to explain how what we’d become was all her fault, all I could wonder was why she hadn’t figured this out with me instead of him. I put my hand up to stop her from talking. “Why is it you couldn’t see what you were doing to us all this time, Shay, until you went to him last night?” She hung her head and said quietly, “I don’t know. I’m sorry for that too.” “So you think I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that you had some kind of fucking epiphany about us with Kane last night and now we’re going to live happily ever after? Is that what you and he planned out over some Jack Daniels and sex?” The word caught in my throat as I croaked it out. Sex. “No!” she cried as she clapped onto my arm to hold me next to her. “Nothing like that happened. Kane and I aren’t like that. We’ve never felt that way toward each other. You know that.” “I know that? I know my half-brother has always seemed intensely fucking interested in how easily you’d leave me once we got together and never believed we should be together in the first place. That’s what I know. I know he never thought you’d stay with me. Not that I, Stefan March, a man who’d slept with scores of women and could have anyone I fucking want in this world would leave you. No. That you, Shay Callahan, scientist and someone above my level, would leave me. That’s what I fucking know.” My voice echoed off the walls I barked so loud at her, but I was just getting started. She wanted to have this conversation, then she was going to get the real me, not the man she’d basically cut down to size

less than an hour ago. “Baby, please listen to me. Kane isn’t the issue with us. I didn’t mean to hurt you by going to talk to him, but I needed to speak to someone about what we were going through.” “So you went to him? Why? Because he’s so fucking talented at relationships and love? Because for months he’s been taking care of the one person on this planet who he should cherish instead of sitting in his fucking shitty rooms above a closed up club and drinking himself into a pathetic shell? Yeah, he sounds like just the person someone would go to for love advice.” Shay frowned at my sarcasm and sat down on the bed in front of me. Looking up, she said quietly, “I can’t explain it, but Kane and I are friends. It’s like we’re similar in some way, like a brother and sister. He’s so different from you.” “Like you.” “No, it’s not like that. You and I are different, but now I know that it’s not a difference we can’t get past. We can.” “And you know this because you spoke to my asshole half-brother who never thought we should be together?” “I know this because he helped me to understand that all the problems we’ve been having have been all my fault. Mine, Stefan. Not yours. You’re the same guy I met all those months ago on my way out of my job interview, and I love you. But I’ve changed, and that’s the problem. Me, not you.” I stepped back in horror at her words. “Are you actually going to try to give me the ‘It’s me not you’ speech, baby? Really?” Shay jumped to her feet and shook her head. “No! That’s not what I mean at all. I’m just saying that it’s all me. All the problems we’ve had are because of me, Stefan. I changed. I got to be that boring scientist who doesn’t even know how to have fun anymore. I turned into someone who thought it was okay to degrade you about running a fantasy club, and for that I’m sorry.” “You just don’t get it, Shay. I don’t care about that shit. I never believed you thought there was something wrong with me owning a fantasy club anyway. No, the problem is you couldn’t talk to me but you could talk to Kane.” “Why is that such a problem? I know you two don’t always get along, but what does it matter how I figured out what was wrong as long as I know how to fix it? What does it matter?” “It matters because you knew!” I bellowed louder than I’d ever yelled before. “It matters because you knew how I felt about you two spending any time together and still you fucking ran to him. Just like you did that night out at my mother’s. You ran right to him.” Shay’s eyes filled with tears for the first time. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her calm, but what I’d said had finally gotten to her. Finally. “I’ve never cared for him at all, Stefan. I love you. Only you. I came back here because I was afraid I was losing you. I thought you were…” She stopped talking suddenly and swallowed the words she wanted to say, but I wanted to hear them. “What? You thought I was what?” Hanging her head, she said sheepishly, “I thought you might be going with other women.” I looked down at her in shock. For as long as we’d been together, I never wanted anyone other than her. Even when I had to go with Lola, I never wanted that. I just didn’t think I had a choice if I wanted to protect my brothers and the club. Shay was all I could think of from the moment I realized she wasn’t like anyone else I’d ever met. And now she was saying she came back from her dream job in Copenhagen because she thought I was cheating on her.

“Why would you think that? Have I ever even gave you the impression I wasn’t crazy fucking in love with you, like out of my mind missing you so much in love every day you’ve been gone? And don’t say because of that thing with Lola because I’m not going to believe that for a second.” She shook her head and frowned. “I don’t know. We were fighting all the time, and it just felt like you were slipping away. You were here with all the club members and bartenders and dancers, and I was there with all those scientists and nothing else but work. I know it was wrong, but that’s why I came back. And then I felt stupid, like some ridiculous teenage girl who gave up everything for some guy because she was too insecure. So I became resentful toward you. I didn’t mean to, but I did.” Shay’s voice trailed off again as she began to quietly cry, but nothing inside me wanted to comfort her. For all this time, I’d been thinking I didn’t measure up. That I wasn’t enough to keep someone like her with me, and she’d let me believe that. To know that all that time the problem hadn’t been with me but with her hurt even more. “So you naturally thought that the man who professed his love every night when he talked to you must have been stepping out on you too. Well, you wouldn’t have thought that if it was Kane or Cash, but me? Of course I’d be sleeping around on you. I’m Stefan March, manwhore. Of course.” “It’s not like that and you know it. I’ve never thought that about you since we got together. We’re not like that, you and me.” “I have no idea what we’re like anymore, Shay. I just know I can’t go on like this with you.” Her eyes grew wide and she asked in a voice full of fear, “What are you saying?” “I’m saying I’m leaving. You can stay here since I know you don’t have your place anymore and I’m going to stay out at my mother’s for a while. I think we need to spend some time apart.” She stood and grabbed onto my arm, looking up at me with a panicked look. “Why? I don’t need to be alone to fix this between us, Stefan. It’s all me. I know that now. I just have to remember that I never wanted to be that boring, angry person I’ve become. It’s not you. You don’t have to do anything.” Moving back from her, I said, “Yes, I do. You did the one thing I can’t live with, Shay. No matter how bad things were between us, all you had to do was come to me, but you didn’t. You went to Kane, and I can’t forgive you for that now. I’m tired of feeling like a second-class citizen when it comes to him, and I won’t do it with the woman I love.” “So you do love me? Then why can’t we work this out?” “Because sometimes love isn’t enough. I love you, Shay, but you left me last night and went to the one person who would want to see us broken up. That tells me everything I need to know. I don’t think you two slept together, but I can’t even think about that it hurts so fucking much. I just need to go.” I grabbed my gym bag and walked past her toward the living room, desperate to get the hell away before my emotions bubbled to the surface again. I didn’t want to yell or fight anymore. There just wasn’t anything left inside me for that now. Maybe a few days away from her would make me remember how much I loved her. I didn’t know. I just knew I had to get away. “Stefan, please! Don’t do this! I can change. I swear! I can fix this, but I can’t do it if you’re not with me.” I stopped at the door and turned around to see her crying behind me. All those months of missing her while she was so far away and worrying no matter what I did I wasn’t enough, and now there she stood begging me to stay. How much I would have given for her to do that just one night earlier. “Don’t call or text me. I need to figure out what I want to do now, and part of that is figuring out if I can forgive you.” “Don’t go. Please don’t go,” she said in a sad voice I understood all too well. “I’m so fucking tired, Shay. Tired of fighting. Tired of worrying I’m not good enough. Just so fucking

tired. So I’m going to go to my mother’s house on the island.” Shay stopped crying and a look of confusion came over her face. “The one where Abbi is? Why?” “I doubt she’s still there since Saint Kane went to the hospital and finally pulled his head out of his ass after all these months. I want to be alone. For the first time in my life, I need to figure out what I want. Goodbye, Shay.” She said something as I closed the door, but it was too late. Whatever we’d been for all those months lay in shambles inside that condo and I needed to get the fuck away from it. I loved her, but I couldn’t go on like that anymore. BY THE TIME I GOT to the Anna Maria Island house, my mind was numb and my emotions were wrung out like an old dishrag. I already missed Shay more than I’d ever missed anyone, but something had to give. I didn’t know if we’d ever be back together again either. My mother’s caretaker, Travers, stood in the kitchen when I arrived and gave me one of his trademark broad smiles. “Mr. March, it’s good to see you back here again so soon. We don’t see enough of you out here.” I set my bag down and took a deep breath of sea air, filling my lungs with the familiar smell. “Thanks, Travers. I haven’t told my mother yet, but I’ll be your new houseguest now that Abbi is heading out. It’s like a revolving door here, isn’t it?” His face grew far more serious. “Oh, Miss Linde will be returning here after her stay in the hospital, your mother tells me. I’ll make up a room for you, though, right now.” “Take your time. It’s all good. I’m here for the duration, so no hurry.” Travers scurried off to set up my new bedroom, and as I took a few bites of pound cake the cook had left on the counter, I wondered what had happened to make Abbi come back to this place now that Kane had finally figured out how to man up to his responsibilities. Another less interesting thought raced through my mind too. With Abbi back here, my mother would follow and I’d have to explain why I wasn’t at my condo with Shay. Well, I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. For now, I needed to try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and if the woman I loved could play any part in that.

Chapter Fifteen

Abbi THE CAR PULLED UP TO the house where I’d spent months waiting for Kane, but now I felt different than I had then. I’d hoped all that time that he’d see I would brave anything, including his demons, for him. I still believed that, but something else had settled inside me. Something stronger. Now I had someone else to worry about than just the two of us. I looked out the window as Alexandria held my hand and Travers slowly brought the car to a stop, and on the porch I saw a familiar face waiting for us. “Why is Stefan here?” I asked, happy to see him for whatever reason. “He’s going to be spending a little time here. I told him not to bother you, but if you need anything, feel free to ask him.” I smiled at how she basically put her son at my beck and call, but I looked forward to some company now that I was returning here. He smiled and waved as he bounded down the stairs toward the door, so full of life and fun like always. “Welcome home!” he said with a laugh as he helped his mother out of the car and then me. “Stefan, I told Abbi you’d be around to help her if she needs it. I hope that’s okay.” Alexandria’s tone told everyone listening that her hope was far closer to a demand. Stefan just smiled and nodded. “I’m at your command, especially since I’m crashing your party here. How are you feeling?” “Stefan!” his mother sharply scolded, likely remembering what the nurses had told her about asking mothers of preemies about how they felt. They all had been very careful to remind me that even though I was leaving the hospital without Annalea, I shouldn’t worry because it would happen just as soon as her little body allowed. I knew that, so even though I’d left with a feeling of sadness, I believed she’d be home with me soon. His expression showed his confusion at what had been a perfectly fine question, and I waved his worry away. “It’s okay. I guess a lot of moms who don’t come home with a baby can feel pretty bad, but I know Annalea is going to be fine. I’ll be going there every day to see her, so it will be just a little while before she comes home for good.” Stefan’s smile returned and he nodded. “That’s the way to think. If she’s anything like her mom, she’ll be home in no time.” “Thanks, Stefan. I didn’t think I’d see you here, though. To be honest, you’re the last person I expected to see.” He grabbed my bag and in a low voice said, “You know how it is. Sometimes you just need to get away.” The sadness that flashed in his eyes told me that the happy expression he’d showed when we arrived was all an act. I didn’t know what had happened, but maybe since we were both feeling a little down we could bolster each other’s spirits. Alexandria and Travers buzzed around the house getting me settled in, and Stefan brought me an iced tea and joined me on the back porch to sit in the midday October sun. Unsure if I should ask why he needed to get away, I chose not to pry and instead just sat quietly until he finally spoke in his usual straightforward way.

“I figured since Kane had finally done the right thing, you wouldn’t be coming back here, Abbi.” Something in his voice sounded worried, but I couldn’t imagine why he’d care that much since I remembered what he’d said to Alexandria that night he’d been out here for dinner. I may not have known Stefan well, but I understood there was no love lost between him and Kane. “Kane and I are going to have to work things out,” I said quietly, still hurt by his admission that it had been Shay and not me who’d convinced him to finally return to me. “But you two are on your way to doing that?” I turned to look at Stefan and studied his face. Why was he worried? “I don’t know. Right now, he’s at least doing right by the baby, so I have to give him credit for that.” “Oh. Well, that’s good. At least he’s doing that right.” “You don’t like him much anymore, do you? Is it because of this—because of what he did with me?” I asked, curious to know what had changed for him toward Kane since the last days of Club X. Stefan took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. Looking out toward the water, he grimaced. “It’s a lot of things, I guess. You don’t need me dumping them all over you.” Reaching out, I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “I might be the best person to talk to about being angry at Kane, so take your chance now. I can’t promise I’ll stay angry with him.” He turned in his chair to face me and shook his head. “How did you do it? How did you believe in him and you two for all those months when he wouldn’t even answer your calls or texts? I would have given up, Abbi.” I thought about what he asked and shrugged. “I couldn’t give up on him. I love him. Kane doesn’t mean to shut people out like he does. It’s just all he’s been through.” Instantly, Stefan’s body language changed and he folded his arms across his chest. “All he’s been through. My mother says things like that too. I’m not feeling that bad for him. He’s got you, that wonderful baby, money, everything he’s wanted for a long time. Considering where he started out, I’d say he’s hit the jackpot.” “You mean as the bastard son of your father?” I asked. Other people might have shied away from that description of Kane in front of me, but not Stefan. No, he nodded, setting his jaw defiantly. “Yeah. Not a bad turnout for him. He’s got you defending him, my mother defending him. Hell, I think my own brother likes Kane better than he likes his own flesh and blood.” “He’s had a hard time. He didn’t have the mother you have.” “It seems like he’s got that too these days,” Stefan said quietly. “The guy’s got everyone thinking he’s something special.” I had no idea why Stefan resented Kane so much, but I had a feeling it had to do with Shay now. For me, it hurt too much to think of how she’d been able to help him see something I hadn’t been able to, so I quietly excused myself and walked up to my room. The nurses had said I’d tire quickly, but it wasn’t that. I just didn’t want to think about Kane or Shay or whatever may have happened between them now.

* EVERY DAY, STEFAN DROVE ME to the hospital to see Annalea, waiting for me outside the NICU like a guard in charge of my safety. Kane arrived every day just before I left her side, and each day he tried to talk to me. I ignored him for the first week, although it may have been the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life because there was so much I wanted to talk to him about. I wanted to ask about his visits with our daughter. I wanted to ask how he was feeling now. I wanted him to take me in his arms and hold me as he

said the words I needed to hear about Annalea going to be okay someday soon. But I didn’t do any of those because a tiny part of me still hurt from all those months he’d left me alone. Every day, he followed me out into the hallway and asked the same question as he stared down at me with those beautiful dark blue eyes so full of hope. “Can I give you a ride home?” And every day I just shook my head and walked away. He didn’t know how much I wanted to say yes and sit in the passenger seat of his Mustang like that first night when he took me out of that awful club. He couldn’t know how much I missed him. But he asked again the next day and the next and the next until finally one day in mid-November, even though I still wouldn’t go with him, I said, “No, but thank you,” and walked away to join Stefan. I didn’t know how long Kane stayed at the hospital each day or what he did with the rest of his time until I saw him the next day, but I saw in his eyes when I finally spoke to him that he missed me too. We were a long way from being together again, but that first step had been taken. STEFAN PARKED THE CAR AND turned to look at me. “You okay?” “Yeah. Annalea looked great today. She’s gaining and getting more beautiful every day. Want to see the picture I took of her today? She made a funny face I wanted to show your mother.” “Sure,” he said in a chipper voice as I dug my phone out of my bag. “I just noticed you finally spoke to him this morning.” I scrolled through the dozens of pictures I’d taken of the baby and got to the most recent one. Turning the phone toward Stefan, I pointed at how Annalea had scrunched up her face when I spoke to her about how much fun we’d have going to the beach when she got bigger. “Maybe she’s not a beach girl,” I joked as I held the picture for him to see. “Nice. Tell her to keep that face handy for when the boys come around,” he said with a chuckle but then fell silent as he waited for me to answer about finally talking to Kane. I didn’t know what to say. All I knew was that as I looked up into his eyes that morning I wanted to speak to him. I was still far from ready to go back, but I was ready to talk. At least a few words. “I thought it would be polite to at least say no this time.” Stefan looked at me for a long moment and then smiled. “I guess that’s a way of looking at it. Yeah. So are you two going to be rushing back into the whole couple thing now?” I put my phone back in my purse and laughed at his attempt to lighten my mood. “No, but I will have to decide what I want to do about him someday soon. Just like you have to decide what to do about Shay soon, Stefan. You’ve been here for almost a month. I don’t know what she did, but maybe it’s time to forgive her?” Shaking his head, he opened his car door and got out without answering my question. By the time I caught up with him inside, he’d shed the look of pain that had crossed his face when I suggested forgiving her and was back to being his usual fun self. But like me, he couldn’t continue on like this.

* ALEXANDRIA JOINED US FOR THANKSGIVING dinner and as the three of us held hands to give thanks, she said, “Lord, we want to give thanks for those in our family who have gone before and those who can’t be here

with us today. Give them peace and we hope they know they’re loved, whether they’re here with us or far away.” “Pass the gravy, mom. I’m starving here,” Stefan joked as he handed me the platter of turkey. “I was trying to have a moment, my dear son. I like to remember your father on Thanksgiving since it was his favorite holiday.” Stefan chuckled. “Mom, he owned restaurants. He loved Thanksgiving because it was a huge moneymaking day.” Refusing to admit that might be the reason Cassian March III loved the holiday, she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I like to remember him on this day. You know that.” “I do, and I’m sorry for being impatient.” Serious for just a moment, Stefan quickly turned on his natural charm. “This is a great meal you guys made, although I have a feeling the pecan pie for dessert might be the best part of it,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “That’s because you made it,” I said, poking him in the arm. Alexandria poked him in the other arm and teased, “Leave it to you to think the dessert is the best part of the meal. You always were that kind of boy.” “No fair attacking the dessert chef, ladies! I’ll take my delicious pecan pie and be on my way.” “No way,” I said, dying for a piece of that pie already. “It looks great, so you’re not going anywhere.” We ate dinner and talked about Annalea and how fast she was growing, along with Cash and Olivia and their trying to have a baby without any luck yet. Conspicuously absent from our conversation were the names Kane and Shay, though. I knew Kane was at his rooms at the club because when he’d wished me Happy Thanksgiving that morning as I left Annalea he told me he’d be home all day if I wanted to talk. But Stefan hadn’t mentioned Shay’s name since I’d said it in the car that day, and Alexandria had secretly told me she thought it had been a while since they’d even spoken. The pecan pie turned out to be even more delicious than Stefan had bragged, and by the time we were all finished with our Thanksgiving meal, I wondered if I could ever eat again I was so stuffed. It had been a long time since I’d enjoyed a holiday like this, and even though Alexandria and Stefan weren’t really my family, they felt like they were. When she left to go home, she kissed me goodnight like she always did and whispered in my ear, “See if you can get him to talk about her. He needs to move on, and he can’t do that if he doesn’t talk.” “Okay. I’ll try.” I walked out onto the back porch where he sat watching someone across the way shoot off fireworks and sat down next to him, unsure of how I should approach what she wanted me to say. The red, white, and blue colors exploded in the night air above us, and for a long time I just watched them with him. I was probably the last person who should have been talking to him about Shay. Even saying her name still stung, like a twinge in my chest, but Alexandria was right. He needed to begin to move on, with or without her. As the last of the fireworks faded out across the sky, I said quietly, “So do you think you’ll be staying here through the holidays?” “I don’t know. Maybe. I like it here.” “It’s been nice having you here, Stefan. I just wonder if there’s somewhere else you should be.” The corners of his mouth hitched up slightly and he turned to look at me. “Are you trying to get rid of me, Abbi?” “No. I just wondered.” He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair, and I sensed our conversation had ended and I hadn’t achieved what Alexandria had asked me to. Resigned to having to tell her I hadn’t done what she wanted,

I let myself enjoy sitting there with him. We weren’t lovers and we weren’t technically family, but he’d been there for me all this time since Annalea’s birth and I wished I could be there for him too. “I don’t think they ever did anything, you know? I just don’t. But it still hurts that she didn’t come to me and went to him when she needed to talk.” Stefan’s words full of pain echoed around me. So that’s what had happened. “Why does it bother you so much that she wanted to talk to him? They’re just friends.” “Because he never thought I was good enough for her, and for her to go to him about our problems just hurts.” I looked at him as he sat there frowning and understood. It did hurt that no matter how much you said to someone you loved, they didn’t hear you until someone else said the same thing. “That’s why I told Kane I didn’t want to see him ever again. That morning he came to the hospital and all I wanted to hear was that he finally saw how much he loved me. But then he said it had been Shay who finally set him straight, and it hurt so much to think that for months I’d been pleading with him to see me and all it took was her saying something to him.” Stefan nodded. “I know. I hated the two of them that day I walked in and saw them standing there in his apartment like everything was perfectly okay. Like you weren’t waiting all those months for him to talk to you and I hadn’t been trying for what seemed like forever to get her to open up about what was wrong. I hated them.” Taking his hand, I held it and said what I knew the two of us needed to hear. “Whatever happens, we need to forgive them. I don’t know if that means you and Shay will get back together, but you have to forgive her, Stefan.” He took a deep breath and shuddered. “Can you forgive him?” “I already have. Today when your mother said grace I couldn’t stop thinking about him alone in those rooms over at Club X and how much I wished he was there at the table with us. So yes, I’ve forgiven him.” “So that’s it? All is forgiven? I guess you won’t need your driver anymore then.” I knew what he was asking, but I didn’t know if all was forgiven. I just knew I didn’t want to live without Kane anymore. “When Annalea gets older, I’m going to tell her about her Uncle Stefan and how every day he drove her mommy to the hospital to see her in those weeks right after she was born. And when she asks why he did that, I’ll tell her the truth. Because I needed him to and that’s the kind of guy her uncle is.” He gave me one of his typical broad Stefan smiles and nodded. “I guess that’s my cue to leave then. You tell that brother of mine to keep his shit straight or the next time I’m going to do what I should have done all these months and kick his ass for you. Okay?” I looked into his warm brown eyes and saw behind his bravado lay uncertainty about his leaving. “Okay. I hope everything turns out the way you want it to with Shay, Stefan. You deserve to be happy. Beneath all that frat boy is a great guy, and if she’s not able to see that, then I hope you can.” Stefan took me in his arms and hugged me tight. “I hope so too, Abbi. I do.”

Chapter Sixteen

Stefan RIDING OVER THE STREETS OF Tampa, I knew where I had to go, even if I wasn’t sure I’d stayed away long enough. I could possibly get a hotel room for the night and head back to my condo in the morning, but maybe Abbi was right. Maybe it was time I faced Shay. I stepped off the elevator onto my floor and all the old feelings rushed back. Stopping in front of my door, I took a deep breath and tried to keep it together. I hadn’t expected to feel much of anything since I’d worked hard not to for weeks, but merely knowing she might be just inside the apartment set everything in motion. The door opened, and suddenly she was standing there staring at me as I stared back at her. It felt like we were strangers and long lost friends all at the same time. I walked in and set my duffel bag down on the floor, unsure what to say or if I should say anything at all. “I didn’t realize you were coming back tonight,” Shay said softly, her green eyes focused on me as I sat down on the couch. “Yeah, I didn’t think you’d be here. You know, since it’s Thanksgiving.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked down at the floor. “I went to my parents’ house for dinner, but I just got back. I can go if you’d prefer. You know because you just got home and I’m sure you want to relax. I can just go.” This was going to be much harder than I thought. I needed a drink. Standing, I made a beeline to the whisky still left from when I’d last been there and poured myself a glass on the rocks. Downing a gulp of it for courage, I turned around and saw her waiting for me to say something. “You don’t have to,” I mumbled. “It’s late.” I didn’t mean to discount my offer to let her stay that way. Fuck. Old wounds still stung and my defensiveness hadn’t vanished. Maybe this was a mistake. If I was the same person I’d been when I left weeks ago, what was to say she wasn’t too? Heading to the bedroom before I said something that would ruin any chance we had to even try to talk, I sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to clear my head of leftover anger and resentment that seemed to find its way back as soon as I walked through the front door. I didn’t want this to just be a repeat of every other fight we’d ever had. Shay tentatively stood in the doorway and said, “I’m thinking I should go, Stefan. It was good to see you again. Happy Thanksgiving.” The sadness in her voice bit at my heart, and as she turned to walk away, I said, “Don’t go. You don’t have to go, Shay.” “Really?” Nodding, I smiled. “No, you can stay. We can talk.” She walked over to the bed and sat down next to me, self-consciously folding her hands in her lap. “I’d like that a lot.” We sat there silent and then both of us began to speak at the same time. Uneasy and unsure, we were in uncharted waters, but it didn’t feel like they were dangerous waters. Chuckling, I said, “You go first.”

She sighed and then cleared her throat nervously before she said in a voice barely above a whisper, “I missed you. It felt so strange being here every night in your place without you.” “I did a lot of thinking out at the Anna Maria Island house, Shay. It seemed like I needed it.” I heard her sharp intake of breath and then she said, “Oh. Was your mother there?” “I wanted to be alone to think and that couldn’t include being around my mother.” “Oh, I see,” Shay said quietly. The question she wanted to ask silently hung in the air, so I just answered it. Better to get it out of the way. “Abbi came back after the hospital and stayed there too.” Shay looked away and nodded. “I know. Kane came by here that night and told me what happened between them. I never meant for any of that to happen, Stefan. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I didn’t mean to cause any problems between them. I swear when I told him what I thought I was only trying to help them get back together.” “I guess I know that.” “Are they back together now?” “No, but they’re on their way. She’s forgiven him, so now all he has to do is not fuck it up. I hope he doesn’t. She’s too nice, too kind to deserve that.” We sat there silently staring forward for a long time, but silence wasn’t going to solve our issues. We needed to talk for real. I turned toward her and for the first time ever in my life, I told someone the complete truth about how I felt about my brother. Taking her hands in mine, I brought them to my lips and kissed them, loving the feel of her skin after the long weeks apart. “I hated that you went to him. For so long, he’s been there like some fucking shadow that I couldn’t shake, and then you turned to him and everything I’d ever hated about Kane rose up to the surface.” Shay shook her head, and I saw she was afraid our same pattern was starting all over again. “No, that wasn’t it. I swear I just wanted to talk to someone, Stefan. I never meant to cause trouble. I knew you two had problems, but I thought those were mostly in the past.” “I thought so too. When he was happy with Abbi and you and I were happy, I didn’t resent him, but then he began walking around like he was some kind of fucking victim and everyone needed to feel sorry for him and all those feelings of jealousy came back and I hated him. I hated him, Shay, and I couldn’t bear the idea that the woman I loved so much had gone to him instead of me.” She slid her hands over my cheeks and cradled my face. “Why do you hate him so much? Is it because he didn’t think we’d ever stay together? I thought that was just brotherly ribbing like you guys always do.” I shook my head, relieved to finally confess the truth. “It’s never been friendly for me. Maybe for him, but not me. I spent my entire life being second place to Cash, hoping someday when I got old enough that my father would see me as something other than a spare. And what did he do? He fucking died before I had the chance to show him I was just as good as his namesake. And then even in death he showed me how unimportant I always was to him by including Kane in his will.” “Oh, baby, I had no idea. I didn’t know about any of this.” “I remember the day I sat in that lawyer’s office and he walked in. He belonged there as much as I did, according to my father, yet I was his son like Cash and I’d never belonged. I looked at Kane and all I saw was my father. He’s the spitting image of him, even more than Cash, and I couldn’t help but see once again that I was the spare. The one who was unneeded.” A tear ran down Shay’s cheek, and she hugged me to her. “I’m so sorry, Stefan. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have made the mistake. Kane never said anything, and you didn’t, so…” I held her and reveled in the feel of her next to me. I’d missed this so much. Burying my face in her

long brown hair, I closed my eyes and inhaled the soft scent of her shampoo. As much as I wanted to stay like this, I had to get everything off my chest, so I leaned back and continued, knowing that if I didn’t say it all now, I’d never say it. “Kane would never say anything because he doesn’t know. To him, his life has been one long example of no one wanting him. He thinks because our father wasn’t around for him that he suffered something Cash and I didn’t. He’s wrong. My father was never around for me either, but I don’t get the benefit of acting all broken because I grew up with money and privilege from Cassian March III.” I knew how this sounded, and I didn’t care. I’d spent enough time running away from this. “All my life I’d wanted to be that person my father admired, and then when he finally had the chance to give me that, he took it away and gave it to his illegitimate son. Kane walked into my life and now I had two Cassian March lookalikes, spitting images of my father staring at me day in and day out watching for me to fuck up, like I always did.” “Stefan, your brothers love you. I never met your father, but maybe in his own way he did too?” Shay asked. “My mother always says he loved me, but I think that’s more her wishing he did so she wouldn’t feel bad about how he treated me. I don’t know if my father loved me. What I know is that he had no interest in me because I wasn’t Cassian March IV, and by the time he died, I think I could have handled if he’d made some provision in his will favoring Cash over me. He’d always favored him over me, so I was used to it. But to bring Kane in as if he was the same as me killed me. And then he made him better, and I was back to being that little boy left standing on the porch as my father and Cash drove off every time without me.” “Stefan, our parents do awful things sometimes. I don’t know if your father realized what he was doing to you. Lots of times they don’t. But you’re loved and I need you see that.” “Every day we fought, Shay. I didn’t know why. Nothing I seemed to offer was enough, and then when you came back I thought things would get better.” Her hands slid from my face and she hung her head. “It was all me. You were always the same person I fell in love with, but I changed. I became one of those horrible people I swore I’d never turn into.” “Why?” She sniffled and said on a sob, “One night you called me and I don’t know why but I had a feeling you weren’t alone anymore. That’s when it started. I threw myself into work there, but I couldn’t shake the idea that you were back here with someone. So I came home early, but that didn’t help things because then I felt like one of those stupid girls who can’t see they’re being fools.” “Why didn’t you say anything? I would have been happy to tell you the only comfort I was getting was from my hand.” Shay smiled and wiped her cheek. “Because you would have said that. I had it in my head that something was going on, and you know me. Once it gets into my thick skull, that’s it. It’s in there.” “So you think I cheated on you?” I asked, still having a hard time believing she thought that. Never in my life had I been faithful to a woman before her, and now I couldn’t imagine even wanting someone else. “No. I don’t know. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it was Kane who set me straight. He told me I was wrong and that you’d never been happier than you were with me.” Just hearing Kane’s name bothered me, and I stood from the bed. “I need to clean up. Give me a few minutes for a shower and we can talk more.” “Stefan…” She didn’t finish her sentence, and I didn’t stand there to hear the rest of it.

*

THE WATER FROM THE HALF dozen shower heads pulsated against my skin, reminding me of how much I’d missed my home in the past few weeks. Not that a great shower was what I came home for, but it was a nice perk. I turned the hot water on stronger, practically burning my skin, but it did the job and every worry tied up inside me seemed to melt away. I heard a noise behind me and saw Shay step in and close the glass door. “Is it okay if I come in?” Nodding, I turned around and let the water run down the back of me again. I heard her open the shampoo bottle and then felt her hands in my hair massaging my scalp. We’d done this so many times I couldn’t remember one from another, but something about the way she touched me now felt different. I felt different. As her fingers caressed my skin, I let myself go and enjoyed Shay’s soft touch. How long had it been since we’d just enjoyed one another? Too long. She guided my head toward the water to rinse out the shampoo and as the suds ran down my face, I heard her say, “Did you like it out at the Anna Maria house?” “I did.” “What did you do all that time?” Wiping the soap from my eyes, I leaned forward against the tile and pressed my hands to the wall. “I drove Abbi to the hospital every day, and then I’d hang out, most of the time alone, and think. But it felt nice to be needed and important to someone.” Shay slid her arms around my chest, and pressing her cheek to my back, she whispered, “I need you, Stefan. You’re important to me.” “Not really. She needed me to drive her and I think she needed a friend like I did. You’re perfectly fine without me at all.” Moving around me, she looked up into my eyes and shook her head. “That’s not true. I need you more because I love you. I know I’m not much of a damsel in distress, but I do love you, Stefan March. I want you to know that.” I pushed the wet hair off her face and kissed her deeper than ever before. “I don’t want to go another day without you, Shay. Not one more day. You’re the best thing in my life. Stay with me and even when it gets rough because we’re so different, promise me we’ll both remember how great it can be between us?” She smiled as the tears began to roll down her cheeks, and I saw real happiness in those beautiful eyes of hers. “Yes! Yes, I will, Stefan. And don’t ever think it’s bad that we’re so different. My kind of person needs the fun and love of life you believe in. It’s what keeps us from becoming horrible and boring.” Kissing her again, I whispered against her lips, “Then that’s what I’ll do.” She smoothed away the wet hair from my face. “And I promise to be the person you fell in love with. No more miserable science girl, okay?” I reached around her and cupped her gorgeous ass. “Come here.” Shay pressed her body against my rapidly stiffening cock and grinned up at me. “I’ve missed you this way. It’s been too long.” “Yeah, it has been, so no more talking. It’s time we get this second chance for us started, and I can’t think of a better way to begin than making love to you.” Wrapping her arms around my neck, she held on as I lifted her from the shower floor. We’d fucked like this dozens of times, but this time felt different. As she locked her legs behind my back and her heels gently pushed against my spine to urge me on, I slid into her wet and willing body, loving the feel of her taking all of me.

The hot water pelted my back, but the pain it inflicted was blocked out by the ecstasy I felt as I pushed into her snug cunt. Shay rocked her hips in rhythm with my thrusts, taking me as deeply as she could, and for the first time in far too long, our lovemaking moved beyond the physical. I looked down into her green eyes that never failed to show her true emotions and saw she knew it too. She needed me as much as I needed her. Maybe we were as different as night was to day, but what did that matter? I’d tried to forget her all those nights out at the Anna Maria Island house, but it was no use. I couldn’t forget that before all the fights and all the unhappiness, she’d been the only woman ever to make me want something more than to just get my cock wet and please myself. Now as I held her to me after I’d shared my deepest, darkest secret, I didn’t want anyone else to share my life with. It wasn’t just the great sex or how beautiful she was. I wanted her because of what she made me feel for the first time in my life. “I love you, Shay,” I whispered as I felt her body begin to come apart around me. Clinging to me, she shuddered as her orgasm tore through her, and in my ear she moaned, “I missed you so much, Stefan. I love you.” With one last thrust into her, I came just as her release subsided. Everything I was and I everything I could be I’d give to her. I didn’t have a choice. I loved her. And for good and for bad, no matter how different we were, we belonged together.

Chapter Seventeen

Kane EVERY DAY FOR NEARLY A month, I offered Abbi a ride home and got shot down. I knew I had to earn her love again, so she could refuse for another month or even another year and it wouldn’t matter. One day she’d say yes, and that would be the day we would begin life together again. I saw her as I arrived to visit with Annalea one morning in early December and taking a chance asked her, “Would you stay so the three of us can spend time together?” A look of surprise crossed her face, but quickly it was replaced by a genuine smile that reached all the way up to her eyes. “Okay. Let me tell Travers I’ll be a little longer. I’m sure he won’t mind.” She turned to run down the hall to tell him, but I caught her arm before she could get too far. “I can give you a ride back to the house, Abbi.” Stopping short, she seemed to think about my suggestion and quietly said, “Okay. Let me tell him and we can go back in to see Annalea together. Just give me a second.” I released her arm, and she trotted off to tell Alexandria’s caretaker that she was staying. With me. For the first time, she’d said yes. I waited for her to return, my heart pounding with excitement like I was a teenage kid on a first date with the prettiest girl in school. A minute later, Abbi came back and flashed me a smile. “Okay, let’s go in and see that little angel of ours.” Annalea had been making great progress in the weeks since her birth months too early. She still wasn’t anywhere as big as other babies who were born full-term, but each day she grew a little more. I’d gotten used to the buzzing and humming of all the machines that surrounded the preemies in the NICU, and in some way, those sounds that at first felt so harsh and mechanical now gave me some peace of mind, almost as if the machines made me feel that as long as they all continued to hum and buzz, everything was fine. Abbi and I stood at the foot of Annalea’s isolette, and looking up at me, she said, “Her eyes were open when I visited before too. See? She has your eyes.” “She does, but other than that, she’s all you, angel.” “I hope she gets some of your height, though. I’ve always wanted to be taller,” she said with a chuckle. As I started to say that no matter how tall she ended up being, she’d be perfect, the machines around us began to beep and chime rapidly, a clear sign something was wrong. I looked around to see which baby’s monitors were creating the noise, but then Abbi squeezed my hand in hers and I realized it was Annalea who was in distress. Her little legs spasmed under the blanket covering her, and she began to shake as we watched in horror. Nurses quickly swarmed around her, gently pushing Abbi and me back as they did their best to comfort her. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Machines squawked the news that our baby had a problem and nurses barked out orders to other nurses who ran to the isolette to intubate Annalea while we looked on terrified, unable to do anything but watch and hope we wouldn’t lose her before she even had a chance to live the life we wanted to give her. “Kane!” Abbi cried as she clung to my arm. “Don’t let her die, Kane!”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me. “She’s strong, Abbi. Annalea’s strong. She’ll be okay.” I said those words over and over, but even I didn’t know if they were true. Yes, she was strong, but as I stood there watching those nurses with all those tubes and wires going in and out of my little girl, I didn’t know if that would be the last image I ever had of her alive. Abbi sobbed against my chest, begging God to give us the chance to get to know our daughter until my shirt was drenched with her tears. I didn’t cry, but I stood there silently praying to God and bargaining that I’d do anything if he’d just give Annalea another chance. Then as quickly as the commotion had begun, it was over and the machines were back to their usual humming and buzzing. A nurse explained that Annalea had been in distress because her lungs weren’t taking in enough air and that she’d have to be on yet another machine until they had matured to the point that she could breathe on her own, but she’d pulled through and that was all that mattered. Abbi and I looked down at our daughter, holding hands as each of us quietly told her how proud we were of her and how much we loved her and couldn’t wait for the day she’d finally get to come home with us. For the first time since Annalea’s birth, we were there for her together, her parents there to support her. We may not have been together in any real way yet, but there in that NICU, Abbi and I stood as one for her. Refusing to let go of my hand until we got to the car, Abbi got in and sat next to me in the Mustang just like she had that first night I took her out of that club. As I started the engine, I looked over and saw her sigh deeply. I knew what she was going through. I felt like I could sleep for a week after what the three of us had been through just a short time earlier. She buried her face in her hands and said quietly, “I’m so glad you were there with me when that happened, Kane. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with that alone.” I reached out and took her left hand, threading my fingers through hers. “Same here. If I’d been there alone with her and that had happened, I don’t know what I’d have done.” Abbi turned her face toward me and struggled to smile. “She’s going to be okay. I just know it. I have to believe that.” “You believed in me when I’m not sure anyone else in the world could. You’re strong, and so is our daughter. I believe in that.” She nodded and took a deep breath in as she tried to calm herself. “I did believe in you, and I believe in her too.” “What about us? Do you still believe in us?” I asked, hoping to hear that Abbi hadn’t given up on the two of us getting back together sometime. Abbi remained quiet for a long time and wouldn’t look at me, and as I waited for her answer, I silently swore that no matter if she believed in us or not, I wouldn’t give up. When she finally spoke again, they weren’t the words I’d hoped for. Looking at me, she knitted her brows and in a serious voice said, “I was so lost out at the house that I would dream about you every night, Kane. I wanted you to come back to me so badly that I’d go to sleep and dream that you were there with me. I didn’t know why you didn’t love me anymore, and every day I tried to reach you, but nothing ever worked. But in my dreams every night, you were there. I think that’s why I never gave up, even though some days were so hard that all I wanted to do was run away and never come back.” I listened as her words felt like they were piercing my heart and hated myself for what I’d put her through all those months. I had no idea how I’d ever make up for every day I’d hurt her, but I planned to spend the rest of my life trying. I had to begin with the truth so she knew that I missed her too.

“You weren’t dreaming, angel. I was there.” Abbi shook her head. “What do you mean you were there?” “I went out to the island house every night to see you. I missed you so much, but I couldn’t risk hurting you, so I’d sneak in and watch you sleep each night.” “I didn’t think you cared.” “I never stopped caring. I just believed that I’d only end up hurting you if we stayed together, so every day I’d be miserable and lost until nighttime when I knew I’d see you again. Going out to that house was the only thing that made the days even bearable.” “Why? Why not just come see me when I was awake?” I hung my head and looked away from her. “I swear I never meant to hurt you, Abbi. I was just so sure that if we stayed together I’d do something that would ruin your life, so I stayed away. But I never really could stay away, so if the only way I could see you was when you were sleeping, that’s what I’d take.” “I missed you so much, Kane. All those months all I wanted was to hear you call me angel or take me in your arms and tell me we’d be okay.” The hurt in her voice pinched at me, and I looked up to see her eyes searching my face for what I knew she needed to hear. I’d been so wrong for so long, but now was my chance to begin making things right. “I never stopped loving you, Abbi. Never. I know leaving you out there was wrong, but I didn’t want to hurt you or the baby. I believed you were better off without me.” Taking my hand in hers, she bent her head down and kissed where our fingers touched and smiled up at me. “You would never hurt me intentionally, Kane. I never doubted that for one second. You protect people. You don’t hurt them.” “All those months…I did hurt you, and I’m sorry, Abbi. I’m so sorry.” Even though she probably should have never spoken a kind word to me again after what I’d put her through, Abbi accepted my apology. As we drove toward the house like we did every day, I wondered if we’d ever be able to go back to the way we were before I’d ruined everything. I stopped the car and stared straight ahead. “I’m talking to someone now, angel, and I think it’s helping a lot.” “What do you mean talking to someone? Who?” “A doctor. Alexandria helped me find him the day Annalea was born. I need help, and I think talking to him is going to help me figure out what’s wrong with me.” Abbi slid her hand over mine on the steering wheel, her touch soft and gentle against my skin. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, Kane.” I turned to look at her. “I wish that was true, but there is. All those years of being told I was meant to hurt never leave me, and I have to find a way to handle the rage inside me from that. I don’t really understand it, but when I talk to this doctor I feel better.” “What do you talk about?” “You, me, how much I love you and Annalea. My mother and what she told me all my life. My father.” A gentle smile spread across her lips. “I think you’re a wonderful man, and I never believed you were meant to hurt. I support you no matter what, and if that means you talking to this doctor to help you see your mother was wrong, Kane, then I’m behind you one hundred percent.” With those words, it felt like a thousand pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and for the first time since Abbi had agreed to let me give her a ride home that morning, I smiled. “I’ve got a long way to go, but the minute I saw Annalea I realized I needed to do whatever I had to so I could be that man you always thought I was. I can’t let the past ruin what our future can be. I want to be there for you and our daughter.”

Tears filled Abbi’s eyes. “I never gave up on you, but I’m not going to lie. There were moments when I wondered if I’d ever hear you say something like that. I told myself I had to keep believing in you, but in those moments of weakness when I was angry at you for leaving me here, I thought we might never talk like this again. But then I told myself that I had to believe in you.” “Thank you for never giving up on me, angel.” “I didn’t really have a choice. When you love someone, you can’t give up on them, not even when everything seems lost. You just have to trust that they’ll see the truth eventually.” I walked around to her side of the car and opened her door. She got out and for a long moment we stared into each other’s eyes. And then for the first time in so long, I took her into my arms and held her. Suddenly, it felt like I could finally exhale as she wrapped her arms around me. Nothing had ever felt so right as Abbi there in my arms, the two of us standing in the late morning sun. She was my Abbi, my angel, and even though we were taking things slow, I believed in us. “I love you, angel,” I whispered against her soft hair as it caressed my lips. “I never stopped loving you. Every night and every day, no matter how much I tried to convince myself you were better off without me, I couldn’t stop loving you.” She squeezed me tightly and stepped back as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you, Kane. I have since that first night we slept on that hard floor in those little rooms of yours at Club X. I could never be better off without you.” “See you tomorrow?” Abbi nodded. “I’ll be there.” “Can I give you a ride home again?” Her gentle smile brightened her face, and as she walked in toward the house, she said, “That would be nice. I’ll see you then.” “I love you, Abbi.” I watched her walk down the sidewalk to the house, and when she made it to the porch, she turned around and said, “I love you too. Tomorrow, right?” “Tomorrow.” It was a tiny step, but a step in the right direction, nonetheless.

Chapter Eighteen

Abbi LATER THAT DAY WHEN I went to see Annalea for my daily afternoon visit, I told her about all the wonderful things her father had done, beginning with saving me from that club to giving us a house to live in to being the dad of the most beautiful child in the world. As I spoke, I hoped somehow my words would stay with her in some unconscious way so no matter what happened, she’d know the man she’d one day call Daddy had been there for me and her in all the ways he could. I let him give me a ride home every day, hoping each time he might ask me to go for a coffee or a bite to eat, but every day all we did was reminisce or talk about Annalea’s steady improvement from her episode. Being with him but not truly with him was more torture than being without him all those months. Alexandria sat down next to me on the back porch one afternoon as I thought about how much I wished Kane and I could truly be back together, and after a few minutes of sitting there silent, she said, “Annalea looked wonderful today. I love the pictures you take to show me, Abbi. Have the doctors given you any idea of when she might be able to come home?” Shaken from my daydreams, I thought about how beautiful my daughter had looked when she smiled up at me a few hours before. “She did. She’s done so well after having that bad day last week. The doctor said it wasn’t a huge setback, though, and maybe she can come home sometime in January.” “That’s great news!” “It is. I can’t wait for her to be well enough to finally be home with us.” She was quiet for a while and then Alexandria asked, “Do you mean us as in you and me or us as in you and Kane? I’ve noticed he’s been giving you a ride home from the hospital every day.” “I’d like it to be Kane and me. I think he wants to be a family, but he hasn’t even asked me to go for a coffee yet. I keep hoping he will, but so far, all he seems to want is to give me a ride home from the hospital every day.” Alexandria smiled sweetly at me and held my hand. “Then why don’t you invite him in tomorrow? I can make sure Travers and the cook are out of the house, if you’d like.” I liked this idea. “That’s great! Thank you. Do you think Tanya would be able to make that pound cake she had for us when I got home from the hospital?” “I’ll make sure of it, honey.” KANE DROVE ME HOME FROM the hospital the next day, and as we talked, my hands shook as I tried to think of how to ask him out on what would be our first real date. He stopped the Mustang in front of the house, but before I could get the words I wanted to say out of my mouth, he turned to me and smiled, like he had something of his own to say. “I was thinking maybe you and I could go out for dinner tonight. I can pick you up around seven. Will that give you enough time after you go for your afternoon visit with Annalea?” Barely able to contain my giddiness at him asking me out on a date, I giggled and said, “That would be great. Where are we going?” Kane thought about it for a moment and then said, “There’s a restaurant Cash told me about that I’d like to check out. I hear they have great steaks. I think you’ll like it. So I’ll see you at seven?”

Smiling from ear to ear, I said, “Okay. Seven it is.” I practically skipped into the house, so happy we were finally moving toward really being back together. Later that afternoon when Annalea and I rocked back and forth together doing our Kangaroo Care, I told her about our date and coaxed a tiny smile out of her with the news. She may not have known how important that night was, but it didn’t matter. Our baby had done what nothing else could. Annalea had brought us back together.

* AT EXACTLY SEVEN O’CLOCK, KANE knocked on the front door dressed in a dark grey suit and a royal blue shirt. Never before had I seen him look so incredible, and instantly I was happy I chose my favorite pale pink sweater dress to wear that night. “You look so different, Kane. I’ve never seen you in a suit.” He took my hand and led me out to the car. “It’s a big night. I thought I should dress for the occasion. You look beautiful, Abbi.” “We do make a good looking couple,” I joked, instantly worried I might have spoken too soon. What if this wasn’t as important to him as it was to me? With the sexiest grin I’d ever seen him wear, he nodded. “We do.” We arrived at the restaurant, a steakhouse called Bryant’s Prime, and dinner was wonderful. Never before had I tasted such a tender steak, and each bite was better than the last. Kane and I talked about his sessions with his doctor, and it felt like we were just like we’d been before everything had happened. Looking around, I could proudly say I had the best looking man sitting across from me, and when he looked at me, I believed I saw love in his eyes. I was on Cloud Nine by the time our cheesecake with strawberry topping came, and excusing myself to visit the ladies’ room, I felt like I could glide all the way there I was so happy. But just as I reached the restroom, I saw a familiar face and recoiled in horror. Dressed in a black cook’s uniform, Aaron stood outside the door to the kitchen glaring at me as I approached. My past had returned to ruin everything. “Little Abbi, all dressed up like some fancy thing. How have you been?” he asked in that threatening tone of his that never failed to terrify me. “Get away from me, Aaron.” He narrowed his eyes to an angry squint and leaned in close to me. “Who do you think you’re fooling dressed up like that? You’re still the same girl you were with me, no matter what you look like on the outside.” I opened my mouth to tell him how wrong he was about me now, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Kane marching toward us. In a second, he was standing by my side and glaring down at Aaron in that way that bastard had done to me just a minute earlier. “Leave the lady alone. Now.” His hands balled into tight fists and I knew his anger and hatred for my ex seethed just below the surface as he struggled to keep it hidden. Kane’s tone left no room for Aaron to misunderstand, but instead of just walking away, he puffed out his chest and said, “Who the fuck are you? I’ll say what I want to my girlfriend.” “I’m not—” I began to tell Aaron I wasn’t anything to him anymore, but Kane cut me off. “I warned you to leave her alone. Now go before you get hurt.” Kane’s threat to harm Aaron worried me. He’d spent all that time away from me because he worried

he’d hurt someone for just this very type of situation, and now the first time we were out in public, he’d already warned someone he planned to physically hurt them. But Aaron was either too stupid to realize how much bigger Kane was and how much pain he could inflict on him or too arrogant to care and pushed his hands against his chest. “Fuck off! I’ll do whatever I want to her.” I watched in fear that Kane would simply pound his fist into my ex-boyfriend’s face, but instead he merely tightened his hand around his collar, lifting him off the floor until his face was level with his and said in a low, ominous voice, “The last time I fucked you up bad enough to send you to the hospital. This time you won’t be that lucky and I’ll be buying the lady here a red dress to wear to your funeral. Do you want that?” Instantly, a look of recognition flashed in Aaron’s eyes as he seemed to remember the first time he’d met Kane. Putting his hands up in front of him, he groveled, “No, it’s cool. I thought I knew her, but it was just a case of mistaken identity.” Setting him back down on his feet, Kane leaned in close and commanded, “Now apologize to the lady.” Aaron gave his best apology and ran off back into the kitchen. Stunned at how well that had gone considering how nasty Aaron had been, I smiled up at Kane. “Thank you. And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. You could have beaten the hell out of him, but you didn’t. You controlled your demons.” Kane took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I’m going to pay the check and let’s get out of here.” “Okay, just let me go to the ladies’ room and I’ll meet you out at the car.” Shaking his head, he looked at the door to the kitchen and then back at me. “No. I’ll wait at the table. Take your time.” I had a feeling it was taking every ounce of willpower for him not to storm into the kitchen and beat the hell out of Aaron, and while I couldn’t say he didn’t have it coming to him, I was happy that Kane didn’t give in to his demons. They wanted him to, but he didn’t, and that was important. WE RODE OVER THE STREETS of Tampa in silence until I noticed we weren’t going toward the club or our little house with the squeaky door but the Anna Maria Island house instead. Reaching out, I grabbed his arm gently. “Kane, the night doesn’t have to end so soon.” He stared straight ahead and frowned. “I think it would be better if I took you home.” “Why? Is it because of what happened with Aaron?” Kane swallowed hard and shook his head. “I just think it would be better, Abbi.” My heart sank at his words. We’d been having a wonderful time and because of me, it had all fallen apart. My past had come back to haunt me once again. “Okay. Maybe we can do this again, though?” I asked, hoping seeing Aaron and me together hadn’t made him reconsider. “Yeah. Another time.” We said nothing more all the way back to the island house, and when he came around to open my car door, I saw how unhappy Kane truly was. His expression had morphed from a frown to a deep grimace, as if what had happened with Aaron had disgusted him. I didn’t know if I wanted to know why, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. As I stepped out of the car, I looked up into his blue eyes and prayed I didn’t hear I was the reason. Pressing my hand to his chest, I took a deep breath and asked, “Was it me?” Confused, he shook his head. “What do you mean?” “Am I the reason you’re so unhappy? I’m sorry you had to see me with Aaron again. I’m not that

person I was with him. I’m not that woman anymore.” Kane forced a smile and shook his head again. “I’m not unhappy about you, angel. I’ll see you tomorrow at the hospital, and maybe we can grab a bite to eat for lunch, okay?” Relieved, I couldn’t help but smile. “Okay. I had a nice time tonight.” Leaning down, Kane kissed me softly. “Me too, Abbi. Good night.” I wanted to pull him to me and give him a kiss full of all the love I felt for him, but he turned away and before I knew it, he was gone. Disappointed, I walked into the house and sat down at the kitchen table. It felt wrong not to be there for Kane, but was I the reason his mood had soured? Lost in thought, I didn’t hear Travers enter the room until he startled me. As he apologized, I wondered if his presence was a sign for me to take control of my situation. “Travers, would you be willing to give me a ride somewhere? I don’t want to impose since I imagine it’s almost your time off.” He smiled sweetly. “I’m here to help you, miss, so if you need me to take you somewhere, all you have to do is ask.” “I’d like you to take me to Club X. Right now.” “As you wish.”

* I KNOCKED ON KANE’S DOOR with my heart slamming against my chest. I hadn’t been back there since the day he’d sent me away. What if he sent me away again this time? We’d been making such progress until that whole ugly thing with Aaron. God, why couldn’t my past stay where it belonged? The door opened slowly, and I saw him standing there still in his suit looking so handsome. The surprised look in his eyes quickly faded to one of happiness, and with a smile, he asked, “What are you doing here, Abbi?” “May I come in?” “Sure.” Stepping out of the way, he added, “Is everything okay with Annalea?” “Yes. I’m not here as Annalea’s mother, Kane. I’m here as Abbi.” Thankfully, he knew the difference and as he closed the door behind me, he said, “Okay. Take a seat. Can I get you anything?” I sat down on his couch and took a deep breath. My courage flagged for a moment, but I told myself I had to do this. I had to fix what seeing Aaron had done to Kane and me so we could get back on track. “No. I just want to say what I have to say before I lose my nerve. Okay? I know you probably didn’t like seeing me next to Aaron tonight, but I’m not that person anymore. As soon as that business with him happened, your entire mood changed. I can understand that. I guess I don’t look very good when you think about me being with him, but I’m not that broken girl anymore. I don’t want what happened with him tonight to ruin the progress we’d made so far.” He stood still in front of me as I said my piece, staring down at me with an intense look like the ones he used to give me when we first got together. When I finished speaking, I watched a smile slowly hitch up the corners of his mouth. “That’s not why my mood changed.” As the stress of worrying began to leave my body, I asked, “Then what’s wrong? We were having a good time, weren’t we, before all that with him?” Kane came around the coffee table and sat down next to me. For a few seconds he didn’t say anything,

but then finally he spoke and I realized it wasn’t me who’d made him unhappy. It was him. “My mood changed because I wanted to beat the fuck out of that son of a bitch. My fingers curled into fists the moment I saw him talking to you, and by the time I got to where you were standing, it took everything I had in me not to smash his face. I knew who he was the minute I saw him, and then when he opened his mouth, I wanted to hit him. The change you saw in me was me being disappointed in myself.” “Why?” I asked as he hung his head. “Because I thought I’d made more progress than that. All this time working on controlling my demons, and as soon as I saw him I wanted to beat the hell out of him.” I reached over and gently touched his arm as he hid his face from me. “But you didn’t, even though he deserved whatever you did to him.” “I wanted to,” he said in a muffled voice. “Kane, you’re too hard on yourself. I don’t even think your doctor would say you should never feel like you want to hit someone. That’s only natural when you want to defend someone you love. The important part is that you didn’t hit Aaron. Even when he seemed to be asking for it, you still didn’t do it. That’s the important part, isn’t it?” He nodded and looked up at me, his eyes full of worry. “I stayed away from you all that time because I was scared to death that I couldn’t control my demons. I just thought I’d do better now.” “I thought you did great. You showed him you’re a man who defends the woman you love, and at the same time you were pretty badass while you were doing it.” “I just worry that one day I’m going to lose my cool, and then what will happen? I don’t want to have to leave you and Annalea.” “You won’t, Kane. It’s okay to think about doing things as long as you don’t act on them.” He smiled. “I’m surprised you came here tonight, especially since the last time you were here I was such a bastard to you. You could have told me all this tomorrow at the hospital.” “Well, maybe I’m changed a little too. I could have waited until tomorrow morning. The old Abbi probably would have, but I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to try to fix what I thought was wrong tonight. I just didn’t realize what you were going through. I guess I still need to work on my confidence.” “I would never look down on you because you went out with that guy, Abbi. You were too good for him then too, but that wouldn’t make me think less of you.” “I’m so glad to hear that, Kane.” He stood from the couch and held out his hand. “I better get you home. It’s getting late and you have to be at the hospital early tomorrow.” Crestfallen, I took his hand and pulled him back down on the couch next to me. Why didn’t he want to kiss me or even get close to me? I’d had enough talking about things for one night. After all this time, I wanted more, so I pushed my fears away and kissed him full on the lips without hesitation. His lips softened instantly and he kissed me back the same delicious way he’d always done before. Whatever reservations he may have had melted away in seconds, and everything we’d been since that first night came rushing back between us. I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. “Kane, I don’t want to go home. It’s not really home without you there.” He cradled my face and kissed me again, this time even more passionately than before. “God, Abbi, when you’re this close and say things like that, I don’t ever want to let you go.” “Then don’t. Don’t let me go.” Sliding my hands under his suit jacket, I eased it over his shoulders and down his arms as we kissed. He threw it away from him while I unbuttoned his shirt, barely holding back from ripping it off his body I

wanted him so badly. I broke the kiss to lean back and look at his half-naked body, still as breathtaking as it had been that first night I laid eyes on him as he lay on that hard floor beside me. His muscles rippled beneath his skin so soft, and as my gaze traveled down over his chest to his chiseled abs, I saw those familiar silver barbells pierced through his nipples. My chance to admire him passed quickly as he leaned forward and slid his hands up underneath my dress, skimming my thighs as he moved to what he wanted. A few tugs and in the blink of an eye, he was pulling my dress over my head. His mouth returned to plunder mine as he made quick work of my bra and pulled me on top of his lap. Wearing only my panties, I straddled him. Everything was moving so fast, but I didn’t want it to stop. After months of being without his touch, I wanted all of him in every way. Kane’s hands settled on my hips, holding me tightly so when he lifted his hips off the couch I felt his hard cock through his dress pants push against my wet pussy, and all I could think was how much I wished we were naked already. I began to roll my hips to feel him against me again, but I saw in his eyes a darkness that told me something had changed in him. I stopped moving and asked, “What’s wrong?” He took a ragged breath in and slowly let it out, as if he needed to calm himself. “I’m not sure I should be with you yet, Abbi.” “Why?” He looked away and frowning, said, “I…I thought I’d be able to control myself more, but we’re not even making love yet and I know I’m like I used to be. I don’t want to hurt you.” “I’m not a piece of fine china that you’ll break, Kane. You never hurt me like that.” Turning his face to look at me, I said, “I love how you are with me when we’re together.” “My demons, though. What if—?” “I don’t want you to change that part of you. I love that you control our lovemaking. I want a man who does that. I know my nature. I guess I’ve always known. If I wanted some nice guy who was gentle and sweet all the time, I don’t think I’d have given you a second look, Kane. You’re not exactly a lapdog kind of guy.” He nodded and hung his head. “I just didn’t want to hurt you, and I thought if I changed, then we’d be safe.” I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t want anything but who you are with me. I love that man. He drives me wild with how much I want him. I don’t want safe. Safe is boring. I want you just how you’ve always been with me.” Kane looked up at me with a devilish look in his eyes. “Even my other piercing?” “Especially your other piercing. If you got rid of that, Kane Jackson, I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive you.” His grin told me his cock piercing was still waiting for me. “Nope. Nothing’s changed down there.” I leaned forward and nuzzled his neck, mumbling against his skin, “Good. I can’t wait to feel it again.” Lifting me off him, he stood up in front of me and sexier than I thought possible, he unfastened his belt, slowly pulling it from around his waist as he stared down at me with a look full of need. Then he unzipped his pants to show me he’d gone commando and nothing had in fact changed. I watched, mesmerized by how beautiful his body was, every inch of him hard and muscular. He held his hand out toward me and grinned. “First we need to get you out of those underwear, and then I’m going to start making up for being absent for so long by fucking you better than you’ve ever been before.”

“I’m not sure you can improve on that first night,” I teased as I stood and stepped out of my panties. Kane pulled me into him and kissed me hard, just as he had that first night we got together. As he slid his hands down to cup my ass, he groaned, “Just watch me.” And there, in those tiny rooms where he’d lived as almost a prisoner for all those years, he made love to me like the man he was. Rough. Ragged. Hard. But with each time my body took his inside it, I felt what no one else knew of him. The kindness of a protector who loved me and despite his demons was the only man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Chapter Nineteen

Kane MONTHS OF LIVING IN FEAR that I’d never be more than the anger that lived inside me faded away as I made love to Abbi. I could be myself with her and she still loved me, and with each thrust into her warm and willing body, I felt at home again. I’d never be the kind of man who was gentle and sweet, but she didn’t want that. She wanted the man I’d been with her—the truth of me I’d shown her from that first night together. I could give her that, even if I needed to work day and night fighting the demons in every other part of my world. Abbi moaned softly in my ear as my cock filled her one last time and her cunt surrendered to me and everything I was. My body reacted to her giving herself to me again, and I flooded her with my release, never wanting to leave this very spot in the corner of my crappy living room. “That was as wonderful as I remembered,” she said quietly with a sweet smile. I pushed her damp hair from her forehead and leaned down to press a small kiss on her temple. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long, angel. I hope someday you can forgive me.” She looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes I’d missed so much. “I forgive you, Kane. I love you. How could I not forgive you?” I didn’t know how I’d ever gotten lucky enough to have such a wonderful person fall in love with me, but I knew at that moment I couldn’t let her go ever again. Mustering all the courage I had inside me, I asked the question I should have asked the minute I found out she was carrying my child. “Abbi, will you marry me?” Tears quickly filled her eyes, and for a second I thought I’d said the wrong thing, but then she answered me with the sweetest words I’d ever heard. “Yes, Kane. Yes, I’ll marry you. But you have to promise me something, okay?” “Anything.” “Promise me we can live in that little house with the yard and the squeaky door. I want Annalea to grow up there. I don’t care how much money we have. I just want us to live in that house that you gave me. It’s the best present anyone has ever given me.” “I think that can be arranged. We’ll stay here until we’re married, and then once we’re husband and wife, we’ll live there. You and me, and when Annalea comes home from the hospital, that’s where she’ll come home to.” Abbi’s face showed her confusion at my idea. “Why do we have to wait? Why can’t we move in before we get married?” “Because I want us to start off our new life together fresh there. But we could get married soon.” Excited by that idea, she squirmed out from underneath me and sat up. “How soon? It’s already almost the middle of December.” I took her hand to hold it, loving how she was as thrilled by the idea of marrying me as I was about marrying her. “What about a New Year’s Eve wedding? It fits, doesn’t it? It’s a new start, so why not do it for the new year?” “Oh, Kane! We can have it out at Alexandria’s house. What do you think? Her home is already decorated for Christmas and looks like a gingerbread house it’s so beautiful. I know she’ll say yes. What

do you think?” She nodded her head eagerly as she waited for my answer. I didn’t care where we got married. Hell, I’d have been fine with us finding an empty spot on the beach, as long as we could get two witnesses and a minister to officiate. I needed just a little more time to make sure my surprise for her was complete, but I knew by New Year’s Eve everything would be ready. “Wherever you want to have the wedding is perfect. We can ask Alexandria together in the morning.” Abbi wrapped her arms around me and hugged me to her as she rested her head on my chest. “You’ve made me the happiest person in the world, Kane. Now all we need is Annalea home with us and everything will be perfect.” HAND IN HAND, ABBI AND I walked up the stairs to the front porch of Alexandria’s home. As we got closer to the door, I cringed at the memory of my last time there. Sensing my tension, Abbi squeezed my hand and said, “Don’t worry. She’s going to say yes. She loves you like one of her own sons.” “I’m not worried about that. I was just thinking about that night I came here and how I treated you,” I said as I avoided her gaze. She stopped and turned me toward her. Cupping her palm against my cheek, she shook her head and smiled. “No more talking about that. I love you and you love me, and whatever happened, happened. So let’s go inside and tell Alexandria the good news.” “How did I ever get lucky enough to have someone like you fall for me?” “I don’t know, but now that I got you, I’m never letting you go, Kane Jackson.” Alexandria showed us into the kitchen and we sat down to tell her our good news. Abbi practically bounced in her chair with every word, and as she listened to her, Alexandria’s eyes welled with tears. “I’m so happy you two finally found your way back to one another. And yes, of course you can have your wedding here. The house is already decorated for a party, so all we need are the bride and groom and some family and friends. I think a New Year’s Eve wedding is wonderful.” “Then it’s settled. On the last day of this year, Abbi and I will get married right here. But right now, we have to go tell our little girl the big news.” Abbi and Alexandria talked about wedding plans as we walked to the front door, promising to discuss every last detail later that day. Not that I wasn’t excited about what we’d eat and drink and who should be invited, but I’d never been one for parties. I cared more about Abbi finally being my wife than anything else. Not long after, Abbi and I stood in front of Annalea’s isolette and told her the good news that her mother and father had finally figured out what they should have known along. That no matter what, our love was strong enough to fight whatever demons came along.

* CASH AND STEFAN STOOD WITH me in Alexandria’s kitchen trying to calm me down, but it was no use. My hands shook like leaves in a hurricane as I waited to hear it was time for me to take my place at the altar and wait for my bride. “Just take a deep breath, Kane,” Cash said with a smile. “I know how you feel. Don’t worry. It will all be over in a few minutes and then you can relax.” “Unless it goes the way yours did,” Stefan joked. My heart slammed into my chest at the thought of Abbi leaving me standing at the altar, and I shot my younger half-brother a nasty glare. “Someday you’re going to be where I am today, and I hope I’m there to

make you as nervous as you just made me, you son of a bitch.” Stefan flashed his frat boy smile and raised his hands in surrender. “Just kidding. It’s all in good fun. Don’t worry. Abbi will be right there with you when the time comes.” “Stef’s right. Everything’s going to be fine,” Cash said in his calm, businessman tone. “Let me go check and see if it’s time.” Cash walked out onto the back porch, leaving me pacing back and forth across Alexandria’s kitchen. Jesus, I’d never been this nervous in my life! How the hell had Cash done this twice already? “Hey, I hoped we’d get a chance to be alone so I could say something to you.” I saw in Stefan’s eyes what he had to say wasn’t his usual joking. “Okay. What’s up?” He swallowed hard and then cleared his throat. “I hated you for a long time, Kane. I resented you because of my father, and then when you and Abbi fell apart, all those feelings came back to the surface as everyone around me seemed to feel bad for you. But I don’t feel that anymore. Maybe it was the time I spent with Abbi out at the island house. Maybe what happened between me and Shay helped me see that all that hate was wrong because you hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I don’t want us to be like that anymore.” Some part of me had always known Stefan harbored hatred for me, but I’d thought those feelings had faded over time as we worked together at Club X. Now, though, I saw in the emotion that filled his eyes that those feelings were still strong for him. I’d never meant to make anything harder for him by asserting my birthright, and it had taken a long time for me to understand what my showing up in his life must have been like for Cassian March III’s youngest son. “Thanks, Stefan. I didn’t mean to…” I stopped for a moment because I wanted this night to be a new start, not just for Abbi and me but for who I was with my brothers too. “You were there for Abbi when she needed someone. I saw how much she depended on you in those days right after Annalea was born. I’ve never said it, but thank you. You stepped up, and I’ll never forget that.” “She’s a great person, Kane. You’re a lucky guy. I hope you always remember that because I told her and I’ll tell you—if you screw up again, I’ll kick your ass like I should have last time.” I knew he was serious, but I couldn’t help smiling. “I’ll take that deal, but I won’t be screwing up again.” Stefan clapped me on the shoulder. “Good to hear.” Straightening his tie, he turned to walk toward the back porch but stopped and looked back at me. “I guess this means I’ll be the only unmarried brother now.” “You never know, Stef. You and Shay look like you’re going the same way Abbi and I did.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know. Only time will tell, I guess.” Cash passed him as he walked out and looked at both of us like he understood something had happened while he was gone. “You two okay in here?” I nodded, happy to say we were okay. “Yeah. I was just telling Stefan he’s next to the altar.” “Speaking of that, it’s time. You ready?” My hands began to shake again, but I nodded. “I’m ready. You have the ring, best man?” Cash reached into his pants pocket and brought out the gold wedding band he had to hold until the ceremony. “Got it. Let’s get out there. Your bride is waiting for you.” I followed him out onto the back porch and down the pathway lit by lanterns and tea lights toward where the altar and the minister stood waiting for us. Olivia, Stefan and Shay, Samson, Simone, Travers, Tonya, and Alexandria sat on both sides of the makeshift aisle and smiled at us as we passed. I took my place at the right of the minister with Cash by my side and waited to see Abbi come down the path next to the house from the bungalow where she and Gemma had stayed to get her ready.

Looking up at the night sky filled with stars, I thought about all those times I wished for my father to come live with my mother and me. He never did, but I never stopped wishing. Now as I waited for Abbi to make me the happiest man on earth, I silently wished one more time. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Help me be the man who someday deserves Abbi and Annalea, and never let me forget it’s my most important job to become him. Cash lightly elbowed me in the side and whispered, “Hey, there’s something much better to look at over there.” I looked where he pointed and saw Gemma walking toward us dressed in her dark green bridesmaid’s gown. Behind her, Abbi stood at the end of the pathway looking more beautiful than anyone I’d ever laid eyes on. Dressed in a white strapless satin gown that flowed perfectly to the ground, she looked like an angel. My angel. She walked slowly toward me as I tried to focus on every part of her so I’d never forget this moment. Her long blond hair fell over her shoulders in soft waves that tumbled toward her elbows. Tiny pink and white flowers weaved their way through her hair from her temples around her head like a halo. In her hands, she held a bouquet of tiny pink roses tied with a white silk curled ribbon. I watched her wishing I could open my eyes wider to take more of her in. Everyone around us faded away, leaving just Abbi and me. As she moved closer to where I stood, I saw her look up into my eyes and knew she felt the same way I did. All we had to remember was it was just us. That’s all that mattered. Nothing else in the world but Abbi, me, and Annalea. She stopped next to me and gave me one of those sweet Abbi smiles that never failed to make me feel the kind of happiness I’d only dreamed of before she came into my life. The minister began speaking, and as he said the words, “Dearly beloved,” I reached down and took her hand in mine. My Abbi. He continued to speak the words of the wedding ceremony, and when the time came for us to speak our vows, we turned to face one another and said the words we’d written to let our family and friends know how we felt in our hearts. Following tradition, I looked into Abbi’s blue eyes and said mine first. “Abbi, I promise in front of all our family and friends to always be the person you can tell your secrets to, no matter if they’re good or bad. I promise to always be your champion. When you don’t think you can’t go on, I’ll be there to hold you up and support you. I promise to do everything I can to be the man you deserve.” With tears in her eyes, Abbi smiled up at me. “Kane, I promise in front of all our family and friends that I will be the light you need when it becomes so dark you don’t think you can find your way. You’ll never be alone, no matter what. And when you think you want to fight the world because it seems like everyone’s against you, I’ll be there to remind you that you are loved.” Our words told everyone there what we were to one another. I was Abbi’s protector and defender, and she was mine. I was her biggest fan, and she was my biggest supporter. And after all we’d been through, we’d finally found the happiness we both had been searching for. The minister recited the rest of the ceremony and looked down at his watch, like we’d planned. “It’s almost midnight. As Kane and Abbi have decided, they’re going to start the year off the best way possible, so in a few seconds I’ll say the words and they’ll officially be married.” As everyone counted down from ten around us, I held Abbi’s hands in mine and stared down into her eyes until the moment we were finally married. It had been a long and often painful road to get to that

point, but now as we stood there just seconds away from the minister pronouncing us husband and wife, my only regret was that we’d waited so long to do this. “By the power vested in me by the state of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Around us everyone cheered and celebrated while I kissed Abbi and whispered against her lips, “Happy New Year, Mrs. Jackson.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me close. “Happy New Year, Mr. Jackson. Do you remember the only other time I called you that?” I pulled back and smiled, remembering that first night we talked downstairs in the bar. “I like this time a lot more.”

* STOPPING THE CAR IN FRONT of our little house, I took Abbi’s hand and brought it to my lips in a kiss. “I have a surprise for you.” “Did you get Angel a playmate?” she teased. “No, but it’s waiting inside for you.” I walked around and opened her car door, and we walked up the old concrete sidewalk to the front porch that still creaked with each footstep. Opening the screen door, I smiled at her as it squeaked, like always. “Still just like you like it.” She squeezed my hand. “I love this house. I love the squeaky door and the creaky wood boards on the porch. But mostly I love it because you gave me this.” I bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Close your eyes for me and don’t let go of my hand, okay?” She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. “Okay. Lead the way.” Then I remembered tradition said we couldn’t walk into the house. “Wait. I have to carry you across the threshold, but keep your eyes closed. I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” Abbi opened them and shook her head. “You’re going to carry me in? I had no idea you were so oldfashioned, Mr. Jackson.” Scooping her up into my arms, I smiled and kissed her softly. “I am, and you have to close your eyes.” She shut them again and buried her face in the space between my neck and my shoulder. “Okay. They’re shut.” Finally, I carried her into our house and turned on the lights. Setting her down on her feet, I nervously told her she could open her eyes and waited, hoping her reaction would show me she was happy with everything I’d done. Abbi opened her eyes wide and stared at the changes I’d made to the house. The day Annalea was born I decided two things. First, I’d get the help I needed to make sure I could spend the rest of my life with the woman I loved and our child. And second, I needed to get rid of all those memories this house still held of my life growing up if I wanted to ever live here with Abbi and Annalea. So I started seeing someone to help me handle my anger and all the issues of my past, and I had the house gutted and completely redone, leaving only the creaky front porch and the squeaky screen door like they were before. “Kane, what…how? When did you do this?” “I’ve had the contractors here since October. They finished right before Christmas.” Her mouth hung open as she looked at the brand new insides of our little house. “It’s so incredible! Why did you do this, though? You didn’t have to change anything.”

“I had to let go of the past, but I knew you loved this house, so I made it ours. But if you don’t want to live here, we can go house hunting starting tomorrow and move somewhere else.” She grabbed my hand to pull me into the kitchen and shook her head. “No! I love this house. You gave me this house when I had nothing. But I love how it looks now too! It’s like a brand new house.” “It’s got everything we could want. Granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, gas cooktop, and the bathroom upstairs I had them redo to be like a spa for you. I wanted this house to be perfect for us.” Abbi stopped gaping at the house I’d created for her and hugged me. Pressing her cheek to my chest, she said quietly, “No one has ever done anything like this for me. I love it, and I love you, Kane. You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known.” “I doubt you could find five people to agree with you, but all that matters is you think that,” I said as I ran my hand over her silky hair. She looked up at me and smiled. “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks. I never have. I know who you are, Kane. I knew it from the first night we spent together. The outside might be all hard and tough, but inside you’re good and kind. And now I’m the lucky woman who gets to say she’s married to that guy.” “Speaking of that, I think we need to move this up to the bedroom and start this honeymoon off right.” Unbuttoning the top buttons of my dress shirt, she ran her tongue over her lower lip. “I like the way you think. Have anything specific in mind?” Tightening my fist in her hair, I gently tugged her head back and kissed her long and deep. “I’m going to make love to my wife for the first time and I don’t care if we don’t leave our bed for days.” “What about when we go to see Annalea?” “Then I don’t care if we only leave our bed to see our beautiful little girl.” I HELD ABBI IN MY arms as I eased my cock in and out of her body, slowly building her desire and need with my own and loving the feel of making love to the woman who had stolen my heart from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Now my wife, she was the only person in the world who truly knew the darkness I held inside and still loved me. She cradled my face and looked up into my eyes. “You’re driving me crazy, Kane. Every time I feel like I’m getting close to coming, you slow down. I swear you can tell when I’m close. And that piercing of yours feels so incredible.” I buried myself balls deep in her and groaned, “I’m just good like that.” “Mmmm…you are good in so many ways.” Easing out of her, I ran my tongue along the seam of her lips. “I’m going to make you come so you can’t even stand tomorrow.” “I love how you think.” “Good.” Rolling over onto my back, I positioned her so she straddled my hips. “Let me see you ride my cock, angel.” Abbi sat up straight on me and ran her fingertip down the middle of my chest to my tattoo between my hipbones. With my hands gripping her sides, she rolled her hips back and forth, making my cock push against the tender walls of her pussy. “God, baby, that feels incredible,” I groaned. She did this move that felt like she was milking me and made me feel like the top of my head might blow off. Leaning forward, she kissed me long and deep, her tongue teasing mine. “You know what I want?” “Tell me and it’s yours,” I said as I ran my hands down her back to squeeze her perfect ass. “I want you to take me from behind. You haven’t even moved to do that since we got back together. I

want you to fuck me like you did that first time.” I looked up at her blue eyes full of desire and felt my demons begin to circle inside me. Eager to have her, they urged me to give her exactly what she wanted. I flipped her onto her stomach, unable to hold back, and prayed that I wouldn’t be the monster I hated. As if Abbi wanted to test my demons to show them they didn’t have hold over me, she nudged her ass against my thighs and turned her head to look at me. “Don’t hold back, Kane. Make me yours.” That’s all they needed to hear. I held on to her hips tightly and rammed my cock into her until every inch of me was buried inside. She moaned low and sweet, and I leaned forward to whisper, “I love you, Abbi. No matter what, I need you to believe that.” Shoving my hand into her hair, I tightened my fist around the long golden strands and tugged her head back. And then I let my demons loose on her, fucking her until there was nothing left inside me. Her strength never wilted in the face of who I truly was, and no matter how many times that night I plunged into her cunt, she met my thrusts with more desire. I sat back on my heels at the end and stared at her tiny body. I’d let my demons have what they wanted, and still when she rolled over onto her back and looked up at me, she wore one of her beautiful smiles. “Tell those demons of yours I expect them to be on time in the future,” she teased, making me laugh. “I shouldn’t have to coax them out of hiding. Now come here.” I lay next her in our bed, taking her in my arms as she rested her head on my chest. “I think that might have been even better than that first night,” I whispered into the room, unsure if better was the right word. Abbi looked up at me and nodded. “I wanted you to see I’ve never been afraid of your demons, Kane. With me, your demons are nothing more than what make you the kind of man I want making love to me. I know what they are to the rest of the world, but to me, they aren’t bad. When I want it slow and gentle, we’ll have to make sure they’re on their leashes, but when I want it like we were tonight, they’re just what we need.” I took a deep breath and exhaled, finally free of the fear that I’d hurt her. She knew me like no other person in the world did, and still she loved me as much as I loved her. There, in the house I made for her and Annalea, we lay in each other’s arms and talked about the life we’d make together, and for the first time ever for me, there wasn’t even a hint of fear that the future would be anything less than happy.

Epilogue

Kane I PULLED THE CAR UP to the front of Alexandria’s house and turned around to smile at Annalea. “Ready to party?” Throwing her hands up in the air, she giggled and gave me a big smile. “Yay! Let’s par-tay!” To my right, Abbi rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You taught her to say it like that, didn’t you?” “Me? It wasn’t me. It must have been that cartoon she watches all the time.” “Daddy, did I say it right? Par-tay!” I turned back in my seat and winked at my daughter. “Shhh. Remember, it’s a secret, right?” “Oh, yeah. A secret par-tay.” Abbi giggled. “I think you two need to work on your secret keeping. Let’s go. Are you ready to see Cassian, Annalea?” She lifted his present wrapped with a big blue bow in the air above her head. “I’m ready! He’s going to love his gift, right Mommy?” “I think so, honey. Cassian loves blocks. He’s going to be so happy you gave him a new set.” Annalea squealed in happiness and unbuckled her seat belt to climb out Abbi’s side of the car. I walked around to take her hand as Abbi walked toward Olivia, who stood on the porch waiting for us. “It’s so great to see you,” she yelled toward us. “How’s my favorite niece doing?” “I’m your only niece, Aunt Olivia,” Annalea said. She looked up at me as Olivia teased her about how that still meant she was her favorite niece and said quietly, “Daddy, will there be cake at this par-tay?” “Yes,” I said with a smile. “It’s a birthday, so that calls for cake. Cassian is a year old today.” Her expression seemed to say that she was pleased by this, and she nodded. “Like on my birthday, right?” “Right, except we do something special in this family for everyone’s first birthday. Just wait until you see what happens.” She furrowed her brow as she thought about what would happen, but then Alexandria appeared on the porch and Annalea’s attention turned toward her. Releasing my hand, she ran toward her with her arms open. “Grandma!” “How’s my girl today?” Alexandria said with a wide smile, opening her arms to take her inside them. “I’m so glad you’re here, sweetheart. I don’t see you as much now that you’re in school.” “Daddy says that something special is going to happen with Cassian’s cake today because it’s his first birthday. What’s going to happen?” Alexandria looked toward me and smiled. “That’s right. We haven’t done that in four years since your first birthday, Annalea. Why don’t you go inside and see how the birthday boy is doing?” She took off like a shot, her long blond hair trailing behind her, followed by Abbi who always watched over her like a hawk, a holdover from those early days when we weren’t sure she’d even make it to her own first birthday. Alexandria opened her arms to embrace me, and I leaned in to give her a hug. Cradling my face, she smiled up at me. “How are you, Kane? It’s good to see you.” “I’m good. We’re all good. How are you?” “I’m happy to have my family all here.”

Over the years since Annalea’s birth, Alexandria and I had grown close enough for me to think of her like a mother, and she treated me like one of her sons, complete with giving me her opinion on my life and occasionally even taking Abbi’s side against me. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. “It’s good to be here. How’s Cash handling the big day?” “Oh, he’s over the moon with that little boy! Come on in. Stefan and Shay are here already, so the party can begin now that you three are here.” I followed her inside and found my brothers trying to coach the birthday boy on how to blow out his candle. Cash looked happier than I’d ever seen him, and Stefan hadn’t changed. He still looked like that frat boy he’d been the entire time I’d known him. “Kane! Come in and help us with the little guy. He’s having a hard time understanding what to do with his candle,” Stefan yelled from the kitchen as he crouched in front of little Cassian’s high chair and blew air out of his cheeks. Cassian March V had a huge name for such a little boy. With a gentle smile and dark eyes like his mother’s, he was all his father otherwise with his dark hair and quiet way. Looking up at me, his brown eyes opened wide and in a little voice, he said my name, much to Stefan’s disappointment. “Kane.” “Why can he say his name but not mine?” he asked Olivia. Turning back to the baby, he said slowly, “Stef-an. Stefan. I’m Uncle Stefan.” Little Cassian took a deep breath and with a smile said, “Kane.” Stefan stood and shook his head. “I give up.” “It’s okay, Stefan,” Olivia said as she patted him on the back. “He’ll get it eventually. All he can say now is ma-ma, da-da, and Kane.” Annalea leaned down to kiss her cousin on his chubby cheek and asked, “Can you say my name? Annalea. Annalea Jackson. Say it, Cassian.” All he answered with was baby sounds, leaving Annalea disappointed. “Now that everyone’s here, we can get started with the party. First comes the cake,” Alexandria announced. “Olivia, did you wash those little piggies?” Olivia picked Cassian up out of his high chair and showed off his chubby, clean feet. “I did. Are we ready?” Everyone cheered, and Annalea tugged on my arm to get my attention. Looking up at me, she asked, “Why do his feet have to be clean to eat cake, Daddy?” “Just watch. It’s a family tradition for the first birthday.” Olivia beamed as her mother-in-law brought out a round birthday cake with the words Happy 1st Birthday Cassian on it. Holding it in front of her and the baby, Alexandria said, “Like everyone else born into this family, it’s time to make it official. Happy birthday, Cassian!” Then she pushed his little foot into the frosting and made a footprint in the cake. The little boy wiggled his toes back and forth feeling the squishy dessert between them and giggled as everyone clapped and sang Happy Birthday to him while his father smiled with pride and snapped picture after picture. Alexandria’s words stayed in my head, however, reminding me that even though I shared a father with Cassian and Stefan, I hadn’t truly been born into this family. “Do we get to eat the foot cake, Daddy?” Annalea asked, tearing me from my thoughts. I shook my head and smiled. “No. See that cake over there on the counter? That’s the one we eat.” “Oh,” she said, her face serious for her five years. “Because I would eat Cassian’s foot cake. Aunt Olivia cleaned his feet, so it would be okay.” Unable to stop myself, I laughed as she skipped over to get a piece of cake. Abbi shook her head and

smiled as she walked over to stand next to me. “What are you laughing at? I like this tradition.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her softly. “I was laughing at something Annalea said. I like this tradition too.” For the next two hours we all sat around eating hamburgers and birthday cake and talked about what was new in our lives. Stefan filled everyone in on his new club and his plans for it now that it had become the hottest place in town. Then he bragged about Shay being close to earning her Ph.D. and she announced that she was hopeful she’d get a full time position at the university soon. For Cassian and me, our news was all about the restaurant we just opened, CK, and I liked how everyone looked at the three of us with pride. For the former owners of a fantasy club, it felt like we had finally grown up. Stefan still retained a little of what we’d had in our twenties, even though he was already thirty-one, but for Cassian and me, life had settled into one of marriage, children, and domestic bliss. It was a good life. “SHE’S A GORGEOUS LITTLE GIRL, Kane,” Shay said as she sat down on the sand next to me. “From a rocky start, she’s really something special.” I looked over at Annalea burying Stefan in the sand and nodded. She’d grown from that tiny preemie to a strong and beautiful little girl who was the apple of my eye. “She is. I can’t imagine my life without her. Or Abbi, for that matter. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost them.” “I don’t think there’s any risk of that. I can’t decide who adores you more, your daughter or your wife. All in all, I’d say you’re one lucky guy.” Something in Shay’s voice made me turn to look at her, and I saw in her smile something forced. “I am. I’d say Stefan’s lucky too, though.” She chuckled. “No need to say that. We’re happy. It’s just a different kind of happy than what you guys have.” “So no chance for marriage and kids with you two?” “Maybe. I don’t know. Not everyone has to be married or have kids to be happy, right? It can just be two people crazy for each other and there for one another when the world gets too much, can’t it?” “Sure. I’m not saying you two should do anything you don’t want to do. I just want to see you guys happy. That’s all.” Shay took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I think each one of us finds happiness in our own way. I’m just glad you came around to finding yours. You had me worried there for a while right before Annalea was born. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to find your way back to where you belonged, Kane.” I shook my head and thought about those dark days. She was right. “I wasn’t sure either, but you deserve some of the credit for that. That night before Annalea was born when we got drunk in my crappy rooms at the club you told me just what I needed to hear.” “Really? What did I say?” “You told me my mother was wrong. In fact, your exact words were, ‘That’s bullshit, and you know it, Kane.’” A sheepish look crossed her face. “I’m about as dainty as a dump truck when I’m drunk. I guess I could have tempered myself a little since I was talking about your mother. Sorry about that.” “Don’t be sorry, Shay. It’s what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment, and for that, I’m forever thankful.” She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “People come into our lives for a reason, Kane. You know, I actually entertained the idea of us being together for a few seconds that night you came to see me at the

fourth floor bar, but we’re too much alike to be right. You need someone you can protect, and you have that in Abbi.” Shay’s admission didn’t surprise me, and I smiled at the idea of the two of us as a couple. I’d also thought about us together a time or two when she worked at the club. “We’d never be good together. I like being the knight in shining armor, and you don’t need or want that. That’s why Stefan and you are good together. He doesn’t come with all the baggage I do. Just ask Abbi. It’s a lot to deal with.” She looked over toward my brother and smiled. “I think that’s one of the things I love best about Stefan. I don’t know if it’s because he’s the youngest or if it’s because of who he just is, but what you see is what you get. To many people that would mean he’s simple, but what he is is uncomplicated. There’s a difference that others don’t see, but I do.” I looked over at Stefan playing with my daughter and knew exactly what Shay meant. Stefan stayed carefree. His love of life remained steadfast, regardless of what troubles came along. In many ways, he was like his mother in that. “Daddy! I buried Uncle Stefan. Come see!” Turning to look at Shay as I stood, I joked, “I’m being summoned.” “Stefan loves that getting buried in the sand thing. He had me do it on our first date.” I smiled and as I walked down to see my daughter’s work, I chuckled at the idea of how different he and I were. It would never occur to me to do anything like that, but that was Stefan. Looking down, I saw only his head and hands still sticking out of the sand. “Are you okay being buried like that?” Always the joker, he nodded. “She’s great at this! I told her we can build a sandcastle next.” “I think we need to go soon, Annalea. You have school tomorrow, so it’s an early night,” I said in my serious dad voice, which immediately elicited a frown from both my brother and my daughter. “Oh, please Daddy! Just a little longer? Uncle Stefan is going to show me how to make the biggest sandcastle ever.” “Please Daddy,” Stefan whined in a teasing voice. “Please!” I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away. “Another hour, but no more. Now you kids have fun.” The two of them screamed, “Yay!” and moved on to their sandcastle building as I headed back into the house to find Abbi. Olivia sat with Cash and Cassian as the baby ate his dinner, and I knew by the look in their eyes how happy they truly were. I’d seen that look in Abbi’s eyes and my own when Annalea finally came home from the hospital. It was the look of pure contentment. “Have you guys seen Abbi?” Cash pointed toward the living room. “I think I saw her walk past a little while ago.” I looked to my right and saw Abbi and Alexandria sitting together near the picture window that faced out toward the beach. Not sure if I was interrupting, I took a step into the room and cleared my throat. “Just the person I was hoping to see,” Alexandria said with a smile. “I’ve been talking to Abbi about this house and the one on Anna Maria Island.” Taking a seat next to Abbi on the couch, I said, “I know you two love that house.” Abbi took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Alexandria has something she wants to tell you, Kane.” “What’s that?” Alexandria handed me a small stack of papers and sat down across from us. “I should have done this a long time ago, and for that I apologize. It’s done now, though. Take a look. It’s my will.” I stared down at the words on the pages in front of me as they swam before my eyes. Alexandria’s will detailed everything she intended to leave to her sons, her grandchildren, Olivia and Shay, and Abbi

and me, in addition to countless charitable organizations and people I’d never heard of. As I reached the part where she listed what we were to receive, I read the words For My Son Kane Jackson and DaughterIn-Law Abigail Jackson and stopped. Looking up at Alexandria, I didn’t know what to say. Not only wasn’t I her son, but I was the bastard her husband had made with another woman. “I told you a long time ago that I thought of you like one of my own sons, and I do. This just makes it official, so when I go, you and Abbi will be taken care of. Not that I intend on leaving any time soon, but when the time comes, this is done.” Abbi hugged her. “Thank you for all that you’ve done for me, for us. From the moment you met me, you’ve been like a mother to me. And you’re truly Annalea’s grandmother in every way.” I sat speechless as they talked about the future and our daughter, and when Abbi left to find Annalea, Alexandria stopped me. “I told you years ago that you weren’t a mistake, no matter how your mother and father made you feel. Abbi once asked me why I cared for you, and I told her I thought you deserved it. You’re my son as much as Cassian and Stefan are.” Choking back emotion, I muttered, “Thank you.” Cradling my face, she smiled. “When your father told me about you, he asked if I’d be willing to have you come live with us so you could have all the good things your brothers grew up with. I said yes, even though I hated the idea of him with someone else. But I never hated him, and I don’t think I ever hated you. I just wish all those years for you had been different.” “Thank you. I’m okay with what happened then. It took me a long time to understand when my mother told me all those times that I was meant to hurt she was talking about how much she hurt. I get that now.” “She shouldn’t have done that to you, Kane. No matter what we feel, we shouldn’t make our children suffer. And your father didn’t make things any better. I know that. But I hope you see that you’re as much a part of this family as Cassian and Stefan. I saw your face when I said the foot in the cake is a tradition for anyone born into this family. I’m sorry you didn’t get that.” “It’s okay, Alexandria. My mother and father made choices and how I deal with them is the choice I’ve had to make.” “Your father would be proud of you, Kane. I’m proud of you. You have everything you ever deserved with Abbi and Annalea.” I took her hands in mine and smiled. “Everything and more. And every night when I go to sleep, I thank God Abbi found it in her heart to forgive me. I know you helped her see that, and I can never repay you for that.” “That’s what mothers do, Kane. They butt in when they aren’t supposed to and champion their son’s cause, even if no one else believes in it. I didn’t have to work too hard, though. Whatever Abbi seemed like on the outside, on the inside she still loved you. She just needed to become strong enough for you.” “Thank you, Mom.” I’d called her that a few times since she asked me to right after Annalea was born, but never before had she looked so happy to hear that one word from me. Sometimes it felt odd to say since she wasn’t the woman who’d given birth to me, although I often wished she had been. How different my life would have been if I’d been her son all along. “Okay, enough of this seriousness. I want a picture of my family, so let’s get everybody together,” Alexandria said with a smile. “It’s a big day, so it’s picture time.” We all huddled together on the back porch as she stood in the yard below aiming my phone up at us. Three men, three women, and two children who didn’t want to sit still while she tried to squeeze us all in,

so I ran down to help her or we’d never get back to celebrating little Cassian’s first birthday. As she handed me the phone, she complained, “I have no idea how you’re all going to fit. I might have to take two or three pictures.” “No, we’ll get it,” I said as I focused the camera on the group up on the porch. Cash and Olivia sat on the left with the baby on her lap all smiles as his mother bounced her legs up and down and his father beamed like the proud daddy he was. In the middle, Stefan and Shay cuddled up together full of smiles like lovebirds. And to the right, the two most important people in my life smiled and waited for me to rejoin the group as the final missing part to our family portrait. And when we looked at the picture afterward, there was no doubt. We were one hell of a family.

* ANNALEA SCOOTED UNDER HER COVERS and patted the bed next to her. “Tell me the dragon story, Daddy. Mommy said you’d tell me the dragon story tonight.” I turned and smiled at Abbi standing at the foot of the bed. “You did, huh? I guess I don’t have a choice since both my girls want me to tell it.” “I’ll leave you two to it. I’m going to grab a shower, but before I do, I want a kiss from my Jelly Belly.” Abbi planted kisses all over Annalea’s face and then finally kissed her on the lips, whispering, “Goodnight, Annalea. Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.” “I love you too, Mommy. Sweet dreams.” Left alone with my daughter, I smoothed the hair from her forehead and began my story. “Once upon a time there was a dragon who terrorized a faraway village. Every day and night, the people in that village lived in fear of that terrible dragon. Just one lowly knight had the job of slaying him.” “And his name was Kane!” Annalea said in excitement. Nodding, I smiled. “Yes, his name was Kane. And it took this lowly knight a long time to get the courage to slay the dragon, but one morning a fairy princess arrived and gave him that strength and courage to do just that. So he pushed down his fears and went off to find that dragon. And when he did, he raised his sword and the dragon breathed angry fire, but the knight didn’t give up. He fought and fought and finally, he got rid of that dragon once and for all.” Annabella tugged on the bottom of my shirt. “Can I see the dragon?” “Yep.” Standing up, I pulled my shirt over my head to show her the dragon I wore on my skin, which was her favorite part of my telling the story. Each time, she would trace the lines of the tattoo that covered my back and stop where the dragon’s head met its body and touch the two A’s there. I sat down and she did as she always did when she saw my tattoo. Her little fingers danced over my skin until they came to rest on those two letters meant to symbolize her and her mother’s names. “A and A, for me and Mommy, right?” Turning around to face her, I kissed her forehead. “Right. Now it’s time for the fairy princess to go to bed. Sweet dreams, honey.” She hugged me, laying her head against my chest just like she had in those first weeks in the NICU when I’d sit in that rocking chair and hold her to my skin as I promised her I’d be the father she needed. “Sweet dreams, Daddy. I love you.” I smoothed her long blond hair under my hand and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Annalea.”

I turned off her light and watched her for a moment as she snuggled up underneath her blankets with Angel. Somehow that fairy princess who had come into this world too early and so tiny she nearly fit in the palm of my hand had been strong enough to save not only herself but me too, and no father adored his child more than I adored her. ABBI STEPPED INTO THE BEDROOM still damp from her shower and dried her shoulders as I watched her from the bed. Her hair reached halfway down her back now, and the long blonde strands hung in her eyes as she struggled to catch it all in the towel. As beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on her, she enchanted me just as she did that night in Cash’s office. “Is Annalea asleep yet?” “I don’t think so. She was pretty excited about that dragon story she wanted to hear, so it’ll probably take a few minutes for her to drift off.” “Hmmm…the party was nice today, wasn’t it? That baby is so adorable. He’s the spitting image of Cassian, except for his eyes, don’t you think?” “And his smile. He’s got Olivia’s smile,” I said. Abbi stopped drying her hair for a moment and thought about what I’d said. Nodding, she agreed. “Yeah, I think he does. Annalea had a good time with Stefan today. She couldn’t talk enough about the sandcastle they made as I was getting her dressed for bed.” “Why don’t you come here so I can help you dry that hair?” I asked, not really interested in anything involving her hair, to be honest. Seeing right through my offer, Abbi raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “You want to help me dry my hair?” “Come here.” She crawled across the bed toward me, pulling her towel off to reveal her gorgeous breasts just as she reached me. Looking down, she tried to bring it back up to cover her, but I stopped her hands and ran my fingers over her soft skin. “Don’t put it back on. I’m only going to take it off.” “Kane, Annalea is still awake. She’ll hear us.” I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to stop. “Just close the door. She won’t hear.” Abbi kissed me softly on the lips and readjusted her towel to cover her once again. “She’ll probably come in to see what’s going on. Do you want her to see us like that?” “No, not really.” She walked toward the door and tilted her head to look down the hall. “Let me see if she’s still up. I’ll be right back.” I was already hard, so I hoped our daughter had been exhausted by a full afternoon of playing outside and had fallen fast asleep after my dragon story. Abbi returned a few seconds later and closing the door behind her, whispered, “She’s asleep, so I think we’re safe.” As she climbed onto the bed, I asked, “Why didn’t you want to share our big news today?” Abbi shrugged and smiled. “I wanted to keep it just between us for a little while longer. Plus, it was little Cassian’s day and I didn’t want to take anything away from that.” I cupped my palm over her still flat belly. “I get that, but when they find out we’ve kept this to ourselves for nearly three months, you know they’re going to wonder why.” “We haven’t even told Annalea yet, Kane.” “Yeah, which makes me wonder why all the secrecy. Is there something you aren’t telling me?” She sighed and shook her head. “I just worry it will be like when I was pregnant with her. I don’t want

to get everyone excited and then have something bad happen.” I pulled her into my hold and kissed her gently, loving the feel of her lips on mine. “Nothing bad is going to happen. We’re going to have a healthy baby, and since I’m not being the world’s biggest jackass and causing you all that stress, you two are going to be fine. He’ll get here right when he’s supposed to, and then we’ll have the perfect family and I won’t be overruled by females all the time.” Abbi smiled and rolled her eyes. “So you think it’s a boy this time? What if it’s another girl? What are you going to do then?” “Be overruled even more, I guess. I think we’d have to try again, though, because a man likes to have some of his own kind around.” “Kane, let’s get through this one and then we can talk about trying again and your own kind.” “It’s a deal. Now let’s forget all this talk of kids so I can make love to my beautiful wife.” Abbi pushed her towel from her body and sat on top of me. “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” Rolling her over onto her back, I kissed her and smiled. “That’s how it’s going to be.” We made love and even though we’d known each other for years, she still thrilled and enchanted me, just as she had that first night I saw her standing in Cash’s office at Club X. Later, as we lay in each other’s arms, I twirled her hair around my finger and smiled at the memory of that first night. I’d barely been able to stand in Cash’s office with her so close, my body more alive than it had been in ages the moment she sat down. “Kane, did you hear me?” Shaken from my memory, I looked down at her staring at me. “No. Sorry. What did you say?” Chuckling, she said, “Nothing important. Where were you?” “I was just thinking about the night we met.” “In my interview when you barely spoke to me and didn’t even want to shake my hand?” she asked with a smile. “You know I liked you. I just didn’t think you needed someone like me in your life.” Abbi lightly ran her fingertips over my cheekbones and looked deep into my eyes. “I would go through hell as long as you were by my side, Kane. No matter what happens, as long as we’re together we’ll be fine.” “Angel, I’ll always be by your side. You’ve done what no one else has ever been able to do.” “What’s that?” “You helped me silence my demons.” Shaking her head, she said, “No. I just showed you there was more to you than just them.” And for that, I loved her more than she could ever know.

ACCEPTANCE CLUB X #5

Life after Club X has been good for the three brothers who used to run Tampa’s most exclusive fantasy club. Cassian and Kane run one of the city’s up and coming restaurants, CK, and Stefan has his own successful bar in the old Club X building. Two marriages, three kids, and three happy couples make up one big happy family. But there’s another son of Cassian March III out there, another illegitimate child who never knew his father. The three brothers don’t agree that they should find him, and even more importantly, what they don’t know about Sebastian could risk everything they cherish so dearly.

Chapter One

Kane CASH RAPPED HIS KNUCKLES ON the bar and shook his head. “I don’t like it, Kane. We’ve got a good thing going now. You’ve got two beautiful kids and a wife that adores you. I’ve got little Cassian and Olivia, and we’ve got a great thing here with this restaurant. The last thing we need is something that’s going to change all that.” “I know. I’m not saying we should. I just think I know what—” “Don’t even think of it. You’re an entirely different situation, and you know it.” I nodded, not entirely sure I agreed with him but not wanting to argue about this tonight. I’d hoped to get home early enough to find Abbi awake for the first time in over a week, and nothing was going to get in the way of spending at least a few minutes with the woman I loved. Lifting my glass to my mouth, I swallowed the last of my drink and stood to leave. “Okay, Cash. We can table this for now, but the way Stefan was talking yesterday, I don’t think it’s going to sit for long.” Cash chuckled and slapped me on the back. “You leave Stefan to me. Go home and see your wife and kids and I’ll see you Monday. Give everyone a kiss for me and Olivia, okay?” “Same. I’ll see you Monday bright and early.” As I headed toward the door, I heard Cash say, “Not too early. I do the Monday late nights. I’m thinking noonish. Maybe.” “Then maybe not bright and early,” I joked. I OPENED THE FRONT DOOR and quietly closed it so I didn’t wake the baby. We’d finally gotten him to sleep through the night a few weeks ago, so my nightly routine mimicked something of a cat burglar. I tiptoed through the living room hoping to find Abbi, but I was too late. Exhausted like she was most nights, she probably gave up sometime around midnight. I couldn’t blame her. I just wanted to try to spend some time with her. We hadn’t had a chance to be just the two of us in far too long. It would have to be another night, though. Disappointed, I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator only to stare into it for nearly a minute before closing the door. I wasn’t really hungry. Not for food, anyway. The kitchen light flickered on above me, and I turned around to see Abbi standing in the doorway looking wide-awake and dressed in the t-shirt and boy shorts she always wore to bed. “Did I wake him up again?” She shook her head as she began walking toward me. “Nope.” Taking her in my arms, I pressed a kiss to her lips and let my hands roam down her back until I cupped her ass in my hands. “Everything okay?” “I’ve been waiting for you,” she said with a sexy smile. I hadn’t seen that smile in far too long. “Oh yeah? Did you find some magical way to get both Annalea and Liam to sleep at the same time?” Her smile broadened, and she slipped my tie from around my neck. “Even better.” As her hands slowly unbuttoned my dress shirt, I wondered what could be better than having both kids asleep and some time to ourselves. Unsure what she meant, I waited until she’d finished with the buttons and slid my shirt off to ask.

“What’s even better?” Abbi moaned a tiny, sexy sound and ran her hands over my chest. “Alexandria took the kids for the night. We have until tomorrow afternoon to be just Kane and Abbi again, so what do you say we take advantage of it and head upstairs?” I squeezed her ass in my hands and felt my cock grow hard. Over twelve hours to do whatever we wanted. I planned to take full advantage of every precious minute. Nuzzling her neck, I inhaled the soft scent of honeysuckle on her skin. “I think a genie must have heard my wish because I was thinking we could spend a few minutes together tonight. It’s been too long.” She scratched her fingernails down my bare back and moaned again. “It has, so let’s get to that bed waiting for us.” By the time we made it to the bedroom, I’d stripped out of every stitch of clothing, but Abbi still wore those cute little underwear that made me wish every night when I got into bed that she wasn’t as exhausted as I knew she was. Now that I had her all to myself, I planned on living out every fantasy I’d created since the last time we made love. “I do love a man who’s ready to go,” she said with a smile as she inched back on the bed. Looking down where her gaze sat, I had to agree. My cock and I were more than ready to go. Ready, willing, and able. I leaned down and softly kissed the inside of her ankle. “This whole parenting thing puts a kink into my plans most nights, and not the good kind of kink.” “You know, I try to stay up every night, Kane. I do,” Abbi said with a hint of sadness in her voice. Looking up, I saw her mouth turned down in a frown. I kissed up her calf to her knee and nipped at the skin with my teeth, all the while keeping my gaze locked on hers. “I know. You don’t have to say anything. It’s just how it is. You’re exhausted from being a mother. Believe me. I don’t know how you do it.” Abbi smiled like it meant the world to her that I knew what she went through every day. In truth, I didn’t. She was gone from our bed every morning when I woke up, getting Annalea ready for school and taking care of Liam’s every need. By the time I left for work most days, she’d already put in hours to make sure our kids were fed, bathed, and ready for the day. Being their father was a much easier job. I got to play with them before work and checked in on them to kiss them goodnight when I got home. That’s not to say I never handled any of the dirty work with them, but nothing like what Abbi dealt with. I flicked my tongue over the soft skin of her inner thigh and smiled up at her. “Tonight, you’re not a mom or anything else but the woman I love.” “Mmmm, I like that.” My thumbs slid along the bottom of her pink and white polka dot boy shorts, teasing her with my touch as they inched closer to her pussy. She arched her back, signaling she wanted more than playful foreplay. Hooking my fingers, I tugged her panties off her body in one swift movement and felt my cock grow even stiffer. I lowered my mouth to taste her as Abbi threaded her fingers through my hair, tugging hard with the first slow swipe of my tongue over her clit. Every cell in my body screamed for me to skip the slow shit and devour that delicious pussy. I wanted to taste every sweet inch of her. To bury myself in her and feel her come all over my face as my fingers fucked her until she begged me to stop. The days of being that man who struggled to control every urge he felt were in the past, but it had been so long since Abbi and I had been together that remnants of that man now surged inside me. Above me as I flicked my tongue inside her, Abbi whimpered and wriggled her hips. “Oh, God, that feels so good. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed this.”

Sliding two fingers into her, I lifted my head and smiled. “It’s been way too long.” Her eyes fluttered closed at the feel of my fingers fucking her, and she nodded. “Oh, it has…” I gently sucked her clit between my lips and pushed harder into her wet cunt until seconds later she came, drenching my mouth and fingers. As shudders wracked her body, I rode her release until she exhaled and the only movement left in her was the soft quivering of her thighs against my shoulders. Sitting back on my heels, I looked down at the woman I loved and couldn’t help think she was the most beautiful creature in the world. Flush with satisfaction from her orgasm, she lay there with her eyes closed looking like an angel. For a moment, I flashed back to the moment I met her and remembered how much I instinctively felt the need to protect her from that first second in Cash’s office at Club X. She’d always been my angel. “You look a million miles away,” she said softly, tearing me from my memories. I shook my head to push them away. “Just thinking about how incredible you look.” “Oh, yeah? In my t-shirt lying here unable to move after what you just did?” she asked with a grin. “Unable to move, huh? I think I’m going to have to see what I can do about that,” I teased as I slid up her body. Nudging my cock between her legs, I kissed her long and deep, my tongue sliding into her mouth like I wanted to slide into her cunt. Raking her fingernails down my back, she stopped me just as I moved my hips back, though. Looking up into my eyes, she pushed against me. “Uh-uh. Turnabout’s fair play.” “I like where this is going,” I said with a grin. With the kids gone for the night, we were sampling the entire menu. I liked that. She rolled me onto my back and kissed me. “Good. Now lay back and enjoy yourself.” Out of habit, I looked over toward the bedroom door to see if the latch was closed. We’d tried this exact thing one night a few months ago and nearly got caught by Annalea. The next morning the latch went on the door. As my mind traveled back to that night, Abbi kissed down over my stomach, pushing any ideas of anything other than her mouth on my cock right out of my head. She stopped and hovered over me. Her fingers played with the studs I still kept in because she asked me to. With a devilish look in her eyes, she said, “I wonder how the ladies at school every morning would react if they knew your cock was pierced.” “Does that mean you want me to take them out?” “No! I have very fond memories of these,” she said as she stroked my cock from base to tip. “I wanted you from the moment you showed me them. I suspect that was the reason you got them in the first place, though.” I closed my eyes as she flicked her tongue over those studs, not wanting to tell her the real reason I got them all those years ago. Now wasn’t the time to talk about how fucked up I’d been back then. I’d never told her the truth about them or many things about me from before I met her. I didn’t want her knowing that man. Abbi groaned against my skin as she slowly took my cock into her mouth inch by inch. I looked down and watched how her pink lips and tiny mouth swallowed all of me and then slowly pulled back to reveal my cock glistening from her. Her hand gripped the base and massaged as over and over she sucked me like it was something she couldn’t get enough of. With every flick of her tongue and moment her soft lips slid over my skin, my angel inched me closer and closer to filling her. I wanted to lift my hips and thrust hard into that beautiful mouth, fucking her like I would when I was between her legs. To ram my cock past her lips until it slammed against the back of her throat and those

studs she loved so much made her gag. I knew if I did, though, I’d come in a second and I wanted this to last. I wanted this night to last. So I remained still and watched as she took me to the edge and then eased me back, knowing exactly what to do with her tongue and her mouth each time. Finally, my body ached I wanted to come so badly, so I stuffed my hand into her hair, and tugging her head up gently, groaned, “No more teasing, angel.” Without a word, she lowered her head one more time and flicked her tongue along the vein that ran up the underside of my cock as she took all of me until those studs touched the back of her throat. Sucking hard, she bobbed up and down until I felt all control disappear and thrust my hips hard as I came, filling that pretty mouth that had given me what I’d dreamed of for weeks. “I’m hoping that noise that came out of your throat when you came means you felt as good as I did when you went down on me.” I opened my eyes and smiled. “I know what you mean about not being able to move.” Abbi laughed at my joke and straddled my hips to sit on top of me. “So, does that mean we’re done for the night? Because if that’s the case, I’m okay with it. You are older than me.” Resting my hands on her hips to keep her from moving, I said, “Older than you? You make it sound like I’m some sugar daddy of yours. I’m not even eight years older, Abbi.” She leaned down to press a kiss onto my lips and whispered against them, “So you’re saying you’re up for more?” As she spoke, she gently rubbed her pussy against my still hard cock, teasing me. I gripped her hips hard and nodded. “Be careful what you wish for, little girl. The big bad wolf might just surprise you with how much more he wants.” Abbi ran her tongue along her bottom lip and smiled. “Good. Let’s see what you got for me, Mr. Wolf.” I flipped her over onto her stomach and covered her with my body before she knew what hit her. When she tried to get up onto her knees, I held her with my weight and whispered in her ear, “Still want more?” Turning to look at me, she breathlessly said, “Yes.” Leaning back, I pulled her up by her hips so she sat on her hands and knees and encircled her neck with my hand. Rock hard and dying to be inside her, I closed my eyes and hesitated for a mere second before I let my need for everything she was take over. I thrust forward, burying my cock inside her until she had every inch of me. A tiny moan escaped her throat, and then she gripped the sheets in her hands, her fingers grasping to hold on for what she knew was coming next. With my hand still around her neck, I slammed into her body over and over like a wild animal. I needed to be inside her. I craved the feel of her clinging to me as I retreated, only to take all of me again a second later. Abbi met my thrusts with her own, as wild and as needy as mine. It had been too long since we’d felt this way. Too many nights sleeping next to each other and not enjoying anything but rest. I didn’t want that to be our lives, and neither did she. Tonight, we wanted to be the people we were when we first fell in love. I sank my teeth into her shoulder and groaned, “Tell me what you want.” It didn’t matter that I knew the answer. I just loved to hear her say the words, and she knew it. Grabbing my hair, she pulled hard and answered, “Fuck me. Fuck me like all I am is Abbi to you.” My brain heard fuck and set my body to the task. I pumped into her with everything I had and didn’t slow down until I felt the first gentle squeeze of her cunt around my cock. She came in a rush, and I felt

her strength leave her. One last thrust into her set off my release, and holding her to me, I came inside her. Exhausted, we collapsed onto the bed, and when I could finally think again, I kissed the top of her head resting on my chest. “What did you mean to fuck you like all you are is Abbi to me?” She stayed quiet for a minute before she said, “I didn’t want to be your wife or Annalea and Liam’s mother. I wanted to be that person you wanted that first night in your apartment on the top floor of Club X.” I turned her head so she could see my face. “You’re always that to me, Abbi. Always. Do you think you’re not?” Her mouth turned down in a frown, and she shrugged. “I spend all day as the kids’ mom, and when we’re with your brothers and Olivia, I’m your wife. I just wanted to feel like that woman I was that night when you wanted nothing more than to be with me.” “You’re always that to me,” I said before I kissed her with all the love I felt for her. Abbi traced tiny circles across my chest for a moment. “I also hoped it would make you remember who you were then too. I know you spend all day being that man Cash needs you to be. I know you want to be that man too, but I sometimes miss who you were when we met.” “That guy was so fucked up, Abbi. Why would you miss him over the man I am today?” I asked, wondering if we’d become what all married couples ended up being. I didn’t want that for us. She stroked my cheek and said, “I love everything you are, Kane. No man is a better father or husband. I just miss the guy who needed me like no one else ever had. I’m just afraid…” “Afraid of what?” I asked as I looked down into her eyes to get a sense of what she meant. Looking away, she mumbled, “Nothing. It’s okay.” “Abbi, look at me. What are you afraid of? Whatever it is, I’m here and nothing will ever hurt you or the kids.” She turned her head back to face me and frowned. “I’m just afraid one of these days you’re going to wake up and look at your life and hate it. When we first got together, we never talked about kids or you working like you do. You had a certain kind of life, and now it’s all changed to a wife, two kids, a house, and a job that’s nothing like what you used to do. I’m just afraid you’ll decide you want something else. Someone else.” I stared at her in shock. Had we strayed that far from what we used to be in those early days that she doubted how much I loved her? Had we let the daily grind of married life do that to us? Cradling her face in my hands, I shook my head. “I could never want anyone else. I never want you to doubt that. Ever. You are my life, Abbi. I would work my fingers to the bone if it meant you were happy. I love our kids. It never mattered to me that we didn’t plan to have them. They’re proof of how much we mean to each other.” Abbi sat up and forced a smile. “I’m sorry I said anything. You look upset. I didn’t mean to do that.” I reached out and held her hand. “I’m not upset with you. If anything, I’m angry with myself for letting life get in the way of showing the most important person how much I adore her. I’m sorry, Abbi. I never meant to make you feel like I wasn’t the happiest man on earth because I am. But now I’m wondering how you feel. Are you happy? The same thing about not planning to have two kids can be said about you too.” “No, don’t think that! I love you, Kane. I love our children. I can’t believe I said anything. Now you think I’m unhappy with my life and I’m not. I just wanted to feel like we used to again.” She stopped for a moment and then said the words that stunned me. “I just didn’t want you to forget that feeling we had in case you’re thinking you could find it with someone else.” I felt like someone had hit me across the face. I didn’t want anyone else. Christ, I couldn’t imagine my life without Abbi. “Why would you think I’d want anyone but you?”

She hung her head and quietly said, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just stupid and jealous. Maybe it’s because I’m here all day and you’re at the restaurant looking like you do in your suit and tie. Maybe I’m just crazy. I don’t know. I just worry that one day you’re going to come home and say you don’t want this anymore.” Taking her in my arms, I held her close and tried to fix whatever had made her think I didn’t love her more than life itself. All this time I’d been disappointed we weren’t having sex much anymore, but in her mind, it was so much more than that. She never came out and said it, but she thought I’d found someone else. As she drifted off to sleep, her head resting on the spot over the heart that belonged to her, I hated this man I’d become. The business with Cash was a great success, but at what price?

Chapter Two

Cassian MY SON HAD HIS OWN idea about what sleeping in meant. Cassian and I shared a name, but we definitely didn’t share the same opinion on what Sundays were for. While I would have liked to spend the morning in bed with his mother, two-year-old boys had a different agenda and by the time eight o’clock rolled around, he had begun banging his crib off the wall, his signal that the day needed to officially begin. “He gave us a few extra minutes today,” Olivia said with a smile as she sat up to answer our son’s beckoning and pushed her long red hair off her face. Scrubbing the sleep from my eyes, I looked over at the wall that separated our bedroom from his and tried to be thankful for those few minutes. For a few extra hours, I might have bought the kid a life-sized version of his favorite teddy bear, but for a few minutes I wasn’t feeling that much thanks. “Tell him I said next time if he can arrange for an hour I might buy him something,” I grumbled as I buried my face in the pillow, knowing my time in bed had effectively ended for the day. Olivia tapped me on the shoulder. “You know how I feel about spoiling him, Cash. No buying him things for more sleep.” As she walked out of the room, I said farewell to my sleeping in plans and threw the covers off to start my day. “We can call it his first job. He sleeps later, and I pay him. It’s a win-win situation.” From the hallway, she yelled, “Nice plan, but no. Time to start the day, so I’ll see you in the kitchen for coffee in a few, okay?” Cassian banged his crib off the wall once more as Olivia opened his door, and I silently reminded myself I loved being a father. Just not at eight in the morning. LESS THAN AN HOUR LATER, Olivia and I sat with Cassian in the living room playing with his favorite dinosaur toy. As he spent his time gobbling up the smaller dinosaurs around him, she said to me, “While you were in the shower, Abbi called.” I watched with amusement as the T-Rex exerted his dominance. “Yeah? You two doing something today?” “I don’t know. That’s not why she called.” Something in Olivia’s voice made me turn to face her, and I saw she had a look of worry in her eyes. “Is everything okay?” Olivia sighed, knitting her brows. “She asked me something very strange. I don’t know what to think of it, though.” “Strange, huh? I’m intrigued. What’s going on?” Hesitating, she turned to look at our son and his dinosaur stomping on one with a pointy ridge down its back before sighing again and looking at me. “She asked me if I thought Kane was seeing someone else.” A laugh exploded out of me. Few questions were more ridiculous than that one. “Kane? No way. Nope.” Olivia narrowed her eyes in anger, a clear sign my response was not what she was looking for. “This is serious, Cash. She sounded upset.” “Honey, it’s not serious. Kane is madly, completely, and blindly in love with Abbi. She could try to

kill him and he’d forgive her. That’s how much he adores her. The guy isn’t seeing anyone else. Jesus, I don’t even think he notices other women exist on the planet, Olivia. Trust me. She’s barking up the wrong tree with this.” Concern for Abbi and Kane remained in her brown eyes, and Olivia frowned, unfazed by my explanation. “She says he’s been getting calls and he lies to her about them. Cash, that’s a sure sign there’s another woman.” “Who’s he say is calling?” “Sometimes he says it’s you or Stefan, and other times he claims it’s the restaurant.” “The three of us call each other all the time. And it wouldn’t be odd for the restaurant to call him. He is one of the owners and general managers.” Pushing her long red hair back with her fingers, Olivia nodded. “So you think it’s all nothing even though he’s lying about who’s calling?” I knew exactly what it was, but I didn’t want to involve her in something I had no intention of bringing into our lives, so I forced a smile and hoped I could convince her it was just as I said. Nothing. “I think my brother wouldn’t even give another woman a look if someone held a gun to his head. I sounds like maybe Abbi is reading signs that aren’t really there. Kane is as loyal as they come, strange phone calls or not.” For a moment, I wasn’t sure Olivia believed me, but after I finished, she smiled and nodded. “I told her it was probably nothing to worry about, but I can’t help but think something’s wrong because he is lying, Cash. She knows that.” “How does she know? Did she check his phone?” I asked, suddenly wondering if Kane’s sloppiness was going to make its way into my life with Olivia and Cassian. A sheepish expression washed over my wife’s face. “Don’t tell him, please. She’s just so worried. She’s sure he’s sleeping with another woman. I heard the fear in her voice, Cash.” As I promised not to tell my brother about his wife checking his phone, mentally I put it at the top of my list of things to do when I met with him and Stefan today. I’d indulged his curiosity or whatever it was for long enough. “Well, tell her for me that he’s not. I’m sure of it. The guy is like stone when it comes to everyone at the restaurant. I mean, he’s nice enough, but I’ve seen women hit on him and it rolls off his back like water off a duck. He doesn’t care. He’s in love with Abbi, so he doesn’t see other women. Maybe when I go over to Stefan’s today you and Shay can take her out to lunch or something to take her mind off it.” A look of confusion settled into Olivia’s face. “I didn’t know you were going to your brother’s today. I thought you and I were going to relax with the baby all day.” I turned to watch Cassian, who’d moved on from dinosaurs to his wooden puzzles of animals. “I have to go to Stefan’s for a little while, but don’t worry. It’ll only be for an hour or so, enough time for you three to grab a nice lunch. I can even take the baby so you won’t have to worry about the whole stroller thing.” Olivia got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. “No way. The last time he was with you and Stefan, he had a brand new word and the daycare administrator ended up pulling me aside to tell me he said booty about twenty times that day. I love Stefan, but he’s a bad influence on my son.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the result of Stefan’s most recent experiment to get Cassian to say his name. Even after two years, the kid couldn’t say it, even though he had no problem repeating anything else that came out of my brother’s mouth. Two hours of trying to get him to say his uncle’s name and all he’d gotten out of it was Stefan’s use of the word booty once. “Well, you can’t say I didn’t offer.”

Behind me, she said, “And since you seem to have forgotten everything this morning, you know Shay and I can’t take Abbi anywhere, especially if I’m trying to get her mind off the idea of Kane sleeping with another woman.” Sure I’d missed some part of the conversation when I was thinking back to my last boy’s day out with Stefan and the baby, I shook my head in confusion and turned to look toward her standing at the kitchen island. “What are you talking about?” Cassian suddenly seemed very curious about what his mother had to say too because he trotted over into the kitchen to join her. She gave him a bowl of dry cereal and sent him on his way with a kiss back to his toys. Grimacing, she waved me over to her, saying, “Little ears hear a lot, Cassian.” Clearly, I had missed something, so I headed into the kitchen. “What are you talking about? Why can’t you and Shay take Abbi out to lunch?” Whispering, Olivia explained, “Because Abbi has never gotten over the fact that when she was in the hospital giving birth to Annalea, Kane and Shay were getting drunk together in his apartment. She thinks they slept together.” Stunned, I opened my mouth to say something but couldn’t. After a few seconds of processing the news that more than six years later, Abbi still hadn’t forgiven Shay, I said, “I knew she was angry back then, but I had no idea she still harbored a grudge.” Olivia gave me a look like I was some kind of idiot for not knowing this information. “Cash, when can you say you’ve ever seen Abbi and Shay together at any time in the past six years? And haven’t you ever noticed that as soon as Kane and Shay are anywhere close to one another at all at any get-together, Abbi’s mood grows instantly dark? This couldn’t have escaped your notice.” I thought back to the last few times we all got together at my mother’s and had to admit Abbi and Shay never spoke even once. It hadn’t been something that anyone had made a big deal of, though, so it hadn’t seemed important. “I guess, but they didn’t sleep together. I know that for sure. Stefan wouldn’t have been able to handle that.” Shaking her head, Olivia said, “It doesn’t matter. She may have forgiven Kane, but she’s never forgiven Shay. She knows they were close and she’s jealous. So having Shay at lunch while I’m trying to convince Abbi that Kane would never want another woman isn’t a good idea.” “Well, I guess I’ve been no help whatsoever with this, but thanks for bringing me up to speed on all the family dirt,” I joked. Olivia slid her arms around my waist and stood on her toes to kiss me. “You really are out of the loop, Cash. I still love you, though, even though you’re perfectly clueless as to what goes on with your brothers.” I cradled her face and looked down into her dark eyes I so loved. “I’ve found being clueless when it comes to most of what goes on with my brothers is the best plan. You know, just in case the police get involved I can claim plausible deniability.” “Cute. So what time are you going to Stefan’s?” she asked as Cassian ran up to us and hugged our legs. “Mommy, can I have more cereal?” As she filled his bowl, I said, “I’ll head over there around ten. I don’t see any reason why he should get to sleep in all day if I can’t.” “Because he doesn’t have any kids?” I dismissed that idea with the wave of my hand. “No excuse. If we parents have to be up, Stefan can be up too.”

“He’ll love that. Let me know how it goes. I think I might take your suggestion about lunch with Abbi and the kids, so if I’m not here when you get back, I’ll be with her.” Heading toward the shower, I thought about how wrong Abbi was. A tiny part of me wished that was what Kane was up to. Getting him to walk away from that would be easier. AFTER TEN MINUTES OF BANGING on Stefan’s door, I was treated to the sight of my younger brother in boxers staring out at me with a mixture of confusion and disgust. I knew I should have felt bad about waking him at that time of day on a Sunday, but I didn’t. “Wakey, wakey, baby brother. Kane will be here any moment,” I announced as I pushed past him to get into his apartment. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Cash. What the fuck is with waking me up at the crack of dawn?” One of his neighbors walked by and stared in shock at how he looked still holding the door open. Pointing toward the hallway to let him know, I joked, “I’m pretty sure your condo board is going to have a new issue on the agenda for the next meeting. She looked pretty freaked out seeing you that way.” He slammed the door shut and stormed past me to head back to his bedroom. “Fuck her. Like I give a damn what she thinks of how I look first thing in the morning. I don’t even know her name. As for you, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be up at noon.” “Kane’s going to be here in a few minutes. Get yourself washed up and put some pants on, for fuck’s sake.” Stefan turned to look at me and sneered. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Cash. Why can’t this happen at a decent time of the day? I was at the club until nearly three this morning, and then Shay and I were up for hours when I got home. I’m dead ass beat, dude.” I thought about what Olivia had told me that morning about Shay and Abbi and asked, “Hey, have you guys spent a lot of time with Kane and Abbi? You know, dinner and things like that.” “What?” “Did I stutter?” Wide awake now, Stefan shook his head. “No, but that’s not surprising since Abbi hates Shay for what happened between her and Kane. Why are you asking?” I shrugged, understanding for the first time how truly clueless I was about family issues. “Olivia told me about that this morning. I had no idea.” “It’s not a big deal. Shay understands why Abbi feels that way. She wishes things weren’t like that, but she understands.” “And you’re okay with it all?” I asked, curious how my equally as jealous brother felt about the whole situation. “Okay with what? They didn’t sleep together, so there’s nothing to be okay with. Now if you don’t mind, you’ve wasted enough of my day with nonsense. I need a shower if I’m going to have to deal with you and Kane, so make yourself comfortable and make me some goddamned coffee, okay?” Left alone with my orders, I started his coffee maker and took a seat on his couch. Kane knocked a few minutes later and joined me to wait for Stefan. He looked like he’d had a rough night. Hell, he didn’t even look like he’d shaved that morning. Kane shaved every day, so something was up. “Man, you look like hell. I thought you were going to try to spend some time with Abbi last night. Did you two decide to go on a bender?” I asked as I studied the dark circles under his eyes. “Rough night sleeping.” Typical Kane answer. Short and to the point. Curious to know if he knew about his wife’s feelings

about Shay, I said, “Olivia told me she might get together with Abbi and Shay for lunch today.” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? All three of them?” Rolling my eyes, I said, “Jesus, am I the only person who didn’t know about the thing between Abbi and Shay?” My frustration at being out of the loop with family gossip seemed lost on Kane, who shrugged and leaned back against the couch. “I guess.” His indifference to my newfound information irritated me for some reason I wasn’t sure I understood, so I decided to drop a little bombshell of my own on him. “You know, she’s pretty sure you’re cheating on her.” Kane sat up straight, his eyes wide, and he shook his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “She thinks you’re stepping out on her. She told Olivia. I guess she knows you’ve been lying to her about the phone calls you’ve been getting. Pretty sloppy, if you ask me, Kane.” He winced and took a deep breath, blowing the air out slowly. “Well, that explains a lot.” “I told you this whole thing was going to be trouble.” “I didn’t think it would start affecting my marriage, for God’s sake.” I smacked him on the shoulder as I stood up to get myself a cup of coffee. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Kane. You should know that better than anyone else, I’d think.” Stefan appeared once again, this time dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and made a beeline for his morning coffee. “Hey, Kane. Thanks for agreeing to ruin my fucking Sunday. You want to remind me again why I should care one fuck about this whole thing?” “Nice to see you too, Stef. Are we alone?” Looking around in confusion, Stefan poured milk into his mug and nodded. “Like it would matter? I don’t see Shay dialing up Abbi to share whatever we say. Anyway, she’s gone already, so yes, we’re alone to have our little boys club meeting.” “Are you going to be this cranky the whole time?” I asked as I sat down next to Kane, amused at how irritable waking up a few hours early made our younger brother. He took a gulp of coffee and pointed at the two of us. “Go to hell, Cash, yes I am, and screw you and your whole thing about family being so important that we have to deal with this at all, Kane.” I looked at Kane and laughed. “I love it when we get together for these talks with him. Interventions go better than this.” Kane smiled and nodded as Stefan joined us in his living room. He took another drink of coffee and raised the mug in the air. “At least with an intervention it would involve me enjoying myself. Nothing about this whole brother thing has been fun in the least. So if we could get this moving since you got my ass out of bed early, I’d really appreciate it.” The time had come to do something about our problem.

Chapter Three

Stefan MY BROTHERS LOOKED OVER AT me like I had some answer to solve our problem. Who the hell was I? The March Family therapist? As if I knew what to do. “Don’t expect me to start this. I’m still on the fence about if I even want to be involved.” Cash’s face brightened at my words and he nodded his head. “See, that’s what I’m saying. This isn’t something we need to get wrapped up in, Kane. Best to leave sleeping dogs lie.” “This isn’t a dog, Cash. This is family.” As usual, Kane had a way of saying very little but enough to make the situation seem far more serious than I preferred. Cash didn’t seem to appreciate Kane’s succinct summary of the issue either. “Maybe, Kane. Right now, all we have is some guy claiming to be the son of our father,” Cash said, practically dismissing the idea of this stranger being anything close to family. “You mean like I was way back when?” Kane said sharply. “I was in the same place this guy is, so I know how he feels. He’s just reaching out to us probably because he wants to get to know his brothers.” Rolling his eyes, Cash sat back on the couch. Kane did seem particularly sensitive about this topic, I had to admit. I guess I could understand. Sort of. I’d always known who I was, just like Cash. We were Cassian March’s sons. For the first two decades of my life, we were the only sons. Then Kane came into our lives and to get our father’s money, we had to work together. It had been rocky for a while at first, but eventually we saw him like we did each other. As a brother, pure and simple. No half attached. Just our brother. The problem is we were younger when he came around. And if we were being truthful, we had a good reason to accept Kane. Now there was nothing making us take a chance on yet another child of our father’s. “I wonder if it’s that innocent, Kane,” I said, still not sure how I felt about this brand new family member who wanted to get to know us. He looked at me and then Cash and frowned. “What are you two afraid of? Maybe he just wants to get to know the people he’s related to.” Cash screwed his expression into a grimace. “And maybe he thinks he’s found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and plans to cash in on having our father’s DNA. That’s assuming he’s even our real brother. I just don’t see any upside to this for us.” “His name is Sebastian. Maybe we should start calling him by name if he’s going to be family,” Kane continued, clearly undeterred by Cash’s reluctance to even meet with the guy. “Fine. Let’s just go get him, put him in the spare bedroom at my place, and we can all be one big happy family,” Cash snapped. Assuming a rare role between my two older brothers, I tried to diffuse the situation before Kane launched at him and tried to convince him that way. “Whoa, let’s keep calm, okay? Cash, I’m sure Kane doesn’t want Sebastian to move in with you or even be that big a part of our lives right from the get-go. And Kane, I think you can understand why Cash is hesitant to open this can of worms with someone we don’t even know. Maybe we should just calm the hell down, okay? Deep breaths, guys.” Both of them leaned back on the couch, their arms folded across their chests and frowns on their faces.

I had a sense that while they weren’t barking at each other, they weren’t exactly seeing eye-to-eye yet on this newfound brother of ours just yet, even after hearing my wonderful brotherly advice. Cash took a deep breath and slowly let his arms fall away to his sides. “Fine. What do we know about him? Maybe we should talk about that first. If I knew something about him, I might not be so dead set against meeting him.” “What do we know about Sebastian?” Kane asked, subtly jabbing Cash with the fact that he still hadn’t even called the guy by name yet. “Fine. What do we know about Sebastian?” Looking over toward me, Kane sat up and eased his own body language. “Okay, we know his name is Sebastian Thorne and his mother is someone named Sandra Thorne. Other than that, I don’t know much yet. My guy is still checking him out. So far, he hasn’t found anything that says he’s a gold digger, if that’s what you’re worried about, Cash.” “What I’m worried about is upending my life, my very happy life with Olivia and my son, because our father may have fathered this person.” Cash certainly didn’t have any problem explaining what bothered him. “What else did you find out, Kane?” I asked, suddenly curious about this Sebastian guy. “What’s he like? Where’s he live? How old is he?” My interest surprised him, and for a moment he looked a little shocked to hear me say anything since I hadn’t taken a side one way or another since this whole new brother thing began almost two weeks ago. Unlike my older brothers, I preferred to take time to think things over. “Well, this is all I know so far. He looks like Cash and me. Black hair and blue eyes. I guess he got our father’s genes in that. My guy says he’s twenty-six and works as a bartender at a place in Dade City. He lives with a girl, but from what my guy has seen, he’s not exactly the loyal type.” I chuckled at Kane’s description of the guy. “He sure as hell sounds like one of us. Well, not you, Kane, but Cash, you have to admit he sounds like us.” Cash gave me a sneer. “Being a manwhore doesn’t mean he’s our brother, Stef.” “I didn’t say it did. I just think maybe we should find out more before we put the kybosh on this whole thing. This Sebastian guy might be okay.” “And he might be a money-grubbing gold digger who thinks he’s found three ATM machines ready and willing to cough up money,” Cash answered. Kane’s frustration boiled over, and he nearly launched from his seat on the couch. Storming toward my balcony, he mumbled something about needing some air and left. Nothing had caused a rift between the three of us like this threatened to since our early days at the club, and I wondered if this thing with some supposed long-lost brother was going to tear our family apart. For his part, Cash didn’t seem to be swayed by Kane’s rare show of emotion about the subject. Shaking his head, he sighed and said, “You know, I get why he feels this way. I do. He sees a lot of himself in this guy, and maybe that’s right. You and I have always known from the time we were born that we were dad’s kids. There was never any question, and nobody had to give us the title of Cassian March’s sons. I just worry what this Sebastian could do to the lives we have now.” “What could he really do, though?” I asked, unsure what some stranger could change about our lives. “It’s not like acknowledging he’s our brother is going to mean we have to do anything for him.” Worry etched into Cash’s face. “I don’t know, but I worry. The last time we found out about a brother, we had to work with him, even though we didn’t want to then. That it turned out good doesn’t change the fact that our lives were turned upside down for a while. I’m not sure I want that to happen again.” “Cash, that was different. Dad’s will forced the three of us to accept each other. It was his way of

making things right, and even though it was hard in the beginning, look at us now. I think it could be okay to find out if this Sebastian is really our brother, and this is coming from the youngest who would have to give up his cherished spot as the baby of the family.” My attempt at lightening the mood failed, and Cash asked a question I hadn’t thought of before. “Why didn’t Dad ever mention another son in anything on his death? The will doesn’t say a thing about him. He obviously wanted us to know about Kane, so why not another son?” I heard the glass door to the balcony close behind me, and before I could answer Cash, Kane spoke up. “I don’t see what our father mentioning in his will has to do with anything. It doesn’t mean Sebastian isn’t our brother.” Afraid of another clash between them, I answered Kane before Cash had a chance to speak up. “It might mean he isn’t our brother at all. It does seem like a pretty big oversight to not remember a fourth son when you remember a third, don’t you think?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he sat down on the couch and crossed his arms again. That breath of fresh air hadn’t changed much, it seemed. When he finally did begin to speak again, he wasn’t as eager to fight as a few minutes before but still wouldn’t let go of the idea of finding out all we could about our new potential brother. Running his hand over the top of his head, he spoke slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “I admit it seems odd that our father chose to acknowledge me and not another son he may have had. I’ll give you that. But I don’t see the harm in just finding out about the guy. If he isn’t our brother, then we’ve lost nothing. If he is, though, I don’t see why he shouldn’t have the chance to at least know he’s got family in us.” Neither Cash nor I said anything in response for a long moment. Looking over at him, I knew he had something to say, though, even if he was trying not jump all over Kane’s suggestion. Taking a breath, Cash nodded and smiled. “All I’m worried about is the potential damage he could do to our lives. That’s all I’ve been saying. I just don’t trust the fact that some guy out of the blue begins contacting you wanting to know if we’re his brothers. I don’t need some relative looking for a handout instead of truly wanting to know us. Or even worse, I don’t want some stranger bringing shit into our lives. Family’s a dicey thing, Kane. Adding someone new to the dynamic, someone who comes with their own baggage, isn’t something I’m looking to do right now.” We seemed to be at an impasse, but I couldn’t say I completely agreed with Cash. I wasn’t sure I wanted some strange guy’s shit being dumped into my lap either, but I was curious enough to want to know more before I walked away from this Sebastian person. Pursing his lips, Kane looked like he wanted to start arguing again, so before he did that and those two came to blows, I said, “Cash, I feel your problem with this, but I’m with Kane. I say we feel this thing out a little more. If it turns out bad, at least we found out the truth.” My support surprised Kane, but I saw by the look in Cash’s eyes he was disappointed with my decision. He stood to leave and said, “Okay, but I’m going to stay out of it until I hear something that makes me believe he’s really our brother. If you can give me proof, and I mean real proof that he’s one of us, I’ll decide then how much I want of him in my life. Until then, I want no part of this.” He left without another word. Kane sat staring at me, still shocked I’d sided with him. What could I say? Curiosity got the best of me. “I didn’t think you’d want to find out if Sebastian is our brother, Stef. To be honest, I thought you’d be the one I had to convince since you hated finding out about me in the beginning.” Kane wasn’t wrong. I resented him so fucking much when he came into our lives. Suddenly, I’d gone from being one of two sons of Cassian March to one of three, and even more, I was the one who seemed

to matter the least. Then when our father decreed that for us to receive any of our inheritance we had to all work together to be successful at some business, I hated Kane. If it wasn’t for him, Cash and I would’ve just gotten what we’d been promised and lived happily ever after. But that’s not how it went, and all these years later, I couldn’t say I was unhappy about that anymore. Sure, there was a lot of ugliness along the way, but we came out of it all as brothers, like my father had hoped. “Yeah, well, I’ve grown up a lot since you came on the scene. I’m not saying I want another brother, but I’m not saying I don’t. All I’m saying is let’s see what he’s all about.” “Why is Cash so against this, though?” I wasn’t sure of the exact answer, but I had a guess. “Cash is a businessman, first and foremost. He thinks in money terms more than we do. He only sees the potential liability some new heir of our father’s could present us. Security means a lot to Cash.” “I don’t want this to affect Abbi and the kids in any way either, so I’m not that different from him. I just can’t understand not even finding out.” Standing, I patted Kane on the shoulder as I passed on my way to the kitchen to get more coffee. “You see yourself in this. This guy is where you were all those years ago.” He thought about what I said before heading toward the door to leave. “So what do you see in this?” “I’m not sure, but my curiosity is piqued so I’m on board with it. If it turns out like Cash is worried it will, I’ll walk away from this whole thing and not look back. My issue isn’t security. Mine is dealing with bullshit and drama, neither of which I need in my life. If that’s what this Sebastian comes with, he best stay away because I’m past that.” A slow smile spread across Kane’s face. “Where did that punk ass guy I more often than not wanted to pound the shit out of go, Stef?” “He grew up, jackass. Tell Abbi we said hi and bring those kids with you next time. I like them.” Kane smiled in that way I knew was genuine. “Tell Shay I’m sorry I didn’t get to see her this time.” As the door closed, I couldn’t help but notice the difference between what I said about Abbi and what he said about Shay. Cash was right about family. It was a dicey thing.

* “STEFAN, YOU HOME?” SHAY CALLED out as she came into the apartment. I looked up from the couch where I was lounging out like I should on a Sunday afternoon and held out my hand to grab her as she passed. “Right here, baby. You’re back early.” She smiled and came over the back of the couch to lie on top of me. After a sexy kiss that made me want to forget about any more talking, she said, “I was actually done much earlier, but I didn’t want to interrupt the March brother pow-wow.” Sliding my hands down her back to cup her perfect ass, I pulled her against my quickly hardening cock and groaned. “I don’t know why. Cash and Kane would have been fine with you here while we talked.” “Well, I figured I’d let you guys have your man time,” she teased while she pushed her hips forward, pressing the front of her jeans into my cock. “I prefer this kind of man time. What do you have planned for today?” I asked as I slid my hand up under her t-shirt to unhook her bra. “Not sure. Why?” “Because I’m in the mood for some easy like Sunday afternoon fucking.” Shay gave me a wink and sat up on my legs to wriggle out of her t-shirt and bra. Throwing them onto

the nearby chair, she cupped those gorgeous breasts of hers in her hands and smiled down at me. “Hmmm, I think I might be able to fit you into my schedule. I have two others this afternoon, but I’ll make room for you.” I pulled her down on top of me and kissed her hard. “Two others? I don’t share well with others, baby.” She rubbed against my hard cock and giggled. “I guess I’m going to have to tell them I can’t service them then because my boyfriend is being difficult.” Hooking my thumbs in the waist of her jeans, I pulled them down her legs and she kicked them off onto the floor. I made quick work of her silk panties, nearly tearing them off her body, so she was naked against me. “You can tell them I’m very difficult. It’s one of the reasons you love me.” As my finger slid through her wet slit, she moaned, “Uh huh. Very difficult.” Her mouth pressed hard against mine as I continued to finger her, and she flicked the tip of her tongue against my tongue in that way that never failed to make me go crazy. Quickly pushing my jeans and boxers down so my cock was free, I grabbed her hips and held her tight as I slid into her hard and fast. My desire to fuck her took over, and I pumped into her as she rolled her hips against me and kissed me like my mouth held the only thing she ever wanted. Even after all our years together, Shay and I were still the same two people who couldn’t get enough of one another, even on a lazy Sunday afternoon. She rode me like my cock was hers to use, and I loved it. I loved her, probably more than she knew. Sure, we said I love you all the time, but over the years I’d come to realize that meant more than romance and sex. Shay was the only woman I could imagine being with for the rest of my life. We never talked about it or mentioned marriage, but I knew it. A piece of paper wouldn’t change how I felt about her. She was the woman for me. With one last thrust into her tight cunt, she came apart, milking my cock to my own release, and then in the middle of the afternoon we lay there in each other’s arms not caring about anything but each other. It wasn’t what my brothers had, and I didn’t care. They had their happiness, and I was happy for them. But Shay and I had ours too. As I lay there lost in thought about how good she felt next to me, she asked, “So how did the meeting go? Are you guys going to see what’s up with this guy who claims he’s one of your father’s kids?” I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts about us and nodded. “Yeah. Well, Kane and I are. Cash isn’t interested so far.” Shay kissed me softly on the lips and smiled. “I think it’s a good idea. Who knows? He might be someone you can hang out with. Someone like you who isn’t married like Cash and Kane.” Chuckling at the idea, I kissed her on the forehead. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m too old to be hanging out anymore with twenty-six year olds. Those days are long gone.” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I can’t believe it. The legendary Stefan March has officially become an adult. You better watch out. Who knows what that will bring?” She was right. If I didn’t watch myself, one day I’d be thinking I should be like Cash and Kane.

Chapter Four

Kane AFTER GETTING THE GREEN LIGHT, at least from Stefan, I headed over to John Kearney’s to see what else he’d found out about Sebastian. The guy worked seven days a week since his wife left him for some insurance salesman from Orlando and practically lived at his hole-in-the-wall office if he wasn’t out in the field investigating, so I had a pretty good shot at finding him sitting behind that old wooden desk of his. John looked up when he heard the office door open and waved me in. “Kane, what brings you here on a beautiful Sunday afternoon? I don’t think I’ve found out much more since I last talked to you.” I sat down in front of his desk and looked at him, trying to figure out if he’d even bothered going home the night before. His face hadn’t been touched by a blade in what looked like days, and his brown hair looked like it needed a good washing by the way it hung down in his eyes. Hell, it needed a good trim too. “Living here now, John?” I asked half-jokingly. He looked around at the drab tan walls surrounding us and laughed. “No, why?” “You look like shit, man. When was the last time you left here?” Running his hand over his chin, he shrugged. “Life of a single guy.” How different he looked since I met him all those years ago when I first needed someone to check out people at Club X. Back then, he was a married man with a young wife and looked like he was on top of the world. Now all I saw was the empty shell of that guy. He sounded the same, but there was something missing in him these days. “I guess the life of a single guy doesn’t involve a shower or a razor.” “Beards make women go wild these days. Haven’t you seen all those young douchebags with them? The chicks dig it. It’s like carte blanche to look like a goddamn scumbag. It’s a good time to be a lazy guy. You should try it.” I shook my head and cringed at the idea of any woman digging John like this. “Yeah, no. Not my thing.” “Your loss. You’re married anyway, so what do you care about what attracts the ladies, right?” “I don’t. What I care about is finding out what more you know about this person who claims he’s a son of Cassian March.” John nodded and blew the air out of his lungs slowly. “Well, I still haven’t found any legal proof he’s your brother. His birth certificate only lists the mother’s name. And I’ve found no real evidence that your father ever recognized him as a child of his. I can say this, though. I’ve seen him and damnit if he doesn’t look like you and Cassian. Those must have been some serious genes your father was toting around with him. I wonder what happened with Stefan, though.” I thought about Alexandria and how strong she was and chuckled. “You’ve never met his mother. Something tells me her genes are just as serious.” Whatever I said must have struck him as funny because he burst out laughing like we’d been telling jokes for the past five minutes. “Interesting family you guys have.” “So did you find out anything else about this guy?” John shook his head. “Other than his name, where he lives, and where he works, all I know so far is

he doesn’t seem to have any legal claim to being Cassian March’s son. It has only been two days since I started this case, though, so I expect I’ll find out more this week.” “Okay. Let me know as soon as you find anything out.” I stood to leave as he promised to call me the minute he got any new information on Sebastian Thorne. Thanking him, I turned to leave and stopped. My curiosity wanted more satisfaction. Looking back at John, I said, “How about giving me the addresses of his place and his work?” A sly grin slowly spread across his face. “Want to check him out for yourself, huh?” “Yeah. Can’t hurt to look.” As he scribbled down the addresses on a sheet of paper, he nodded. “Nope. Just a warning, though. He’s like the mirror image of you. There’s no way he’s not going to recognize you if he sees you, so lay low.” “You think he hasn’t seen me or my brothers yet? He contacted me, not the other way around.” John handed me the paper. “That’s true. I guess he probably has taken a gander at you already. Still, I think it would be better if you lay low on Frisco with this guy. Look, but don’t touch.” “Got it. I’ll keep that all in mind. Thanks, John. Let me know when you find out anything else.” “Of course. You’ll be hearing from me soon, hopefully.”

* “MOMMY! LIAM POOPED AGAIN AND it’s awful!” Annalea’s announcement that her brother’s diaper was dirty greeted me as I walked back into the house. From the kitchen, Abbi yelled out, “I’ll be right there, honey.” I picked up my son from the playpen as Annalea showed me a picture she’d drawn. “Daddy, look what I made at Grandma’s. Guess what it is.” My eyes teared up as the smell wafting up from Liam’s diaper nearly overwhelmed me, so all I saw was a blurry flower or maybe a rainbow. Taking my best guess, I answered, “That’s a beautiful flower picture, honey. I’ll take a better look as soon as I get your brother changed.” Abbi met me as I began to climb the stairs. “Kane, I didn’t realize you were home. Everything okay at the restaurant? Did you find out what the problem was with the electricity?” Remembering the lie I’d told her about where I was going hours earlier, I forced a smile and nodded. “Everything’s okay. Just a problem with one of the breakers. I’ll be right back down. Just need to clean up a mess with this little guy.” Thankfully, I got away before she could ask me any more questions about the nonexistent problem at CK. As I changed Liam’s diaper, I stared down into his dark blue eyes so similar to mine and told myself my lies weren’t really anything that could hurt anyone. I just wanted to keep the whole business with this potential new brother away from my family until I knew one way or another what kind of person he was. That wasn’t a bad thing, was it? Liam smiled up at me, likely thankful that I’d helped him out of wearing shit, and I lifted him off the changing table to give him a kiss. “Feel better, little man? What do you say we go back downstairs and see the ladies in our life?” Before we could get out of the room, though, Abbi appeared in the doorway with a look on her face that told me she wanted to talk. All I could hope was she didn’t ask more questions that would force me to lie again. “Do you want me to take him?” she asked sweetly, her arms out to take hold of Liam. But I didn’t want to give him up just yet. I didn’t get too many chances to hang out with my son, and I

liked to take advantage of the time I got. “No, I have him. Is it time for him to eat?” “In a little bit.” She took his hand and pretended to nibble on his fingertips. “Who gets pears today? Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Does my little man love his pears?” Liam smiled at her playing with his hand, and Abbi smiled back at him like he was the light of her life. I loved watching her with the kids like this. That’s why I wanted to protect this part of my life from anything that could hurt the ones I loved. Abbi looked up at me and said, “He looks more like you every day. Compared to when Annalea was a baby, he’s like the polar opposite.” “It’s the black hair. He got the March genes. She got yours,” I said as I guided her toward the hallway. “Annalea’s alone, isn’t she? We should go downstairs.” She touched my arm to stop me, and I turned around to see that look again. “She’s okay, Kane. Is something wrong? You’re acting weird.” “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” I bent down to kiss her softly on the lips. “I had a great time last night, by the way.” “I did too,” she said as her cheeks blushed a gentle pink. “I don’t know if we should be talking about this in front of the baby.” I looked at Liam, who sat in my arms blissfully unaware that his parents were talking about the great sex they had the night before. “I think we’re safe, angel. Our little man here understands nothing yet.” Abbi touched my arm again, and I turned to see her staring up at me like I’d just said the most wonderful thing she’d ever heard. “It’s been a long time since you called me that.” I knew exactly what she meant. Between work, a new baby, and getting used to having two kids, it had been a very long time since I’d been much of anything but someone’s boss or someone’s father. I wanted to change that, though. “I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve been too busy at work and with everything happening after Liam was born, but I’m going to make sure I’m more than just the guy who sleeps here from now on. I promise, Abbi.” She looked at me with wide eyes full of concern. “Okay. Is there something I should know, Kane? You’re sort of making me wonder what’s going on with you.” I really didn’t want to have this conversation. “I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong, Abbi.” Liam thankfully got antsy in my arms and cried out, breaking the tension and giving me an excuse to walk away, even though I knew Abbi had more to say. The problem was she wasn’t going to just let this go. As much as I wanted to be wrong, by the time I reached the kitchen and put Liam into his high chair, Abbi was right beside me with that same questioning look in her eyes. As I turned to get the baby’s lunch, she said, “I think maybe we should talk, Kane. Okay?” Pretending to be busy picking just the right glass jar of pureed green vegetables, I said nothing as I grabbed peas and pears and the feeding spoon. I pulled a chair from the table and sat down in front of Liam, who was completely oblivious to the tension growing between his mother and father at that moment. “Ready for some delicious peas, little man?” I asked with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the gooey green goop I’d scooped out of the jar. “Kane, are you ignoring me or didn’t you hear me when I said I wanted to talk?” Liam gobbled up the spoonful of peas and then proceeded to dribble half of it down his chin and onto the blue and green bib with caterpillars Abbi had put on him. Thoroughly pleased with himself, he banged his hands on the highchair tray and kicked his legs out as he squealed for more food.

“You must really love this,” I said as I directed another spoonful of peas at his mouth. He repeated his drooling act, this time keeping even less in his face than before. I wiped his mouth, feeling Abbi’s stare practically boring a hole through the side of my head. “I’m not ignoring you. I just figured it was time for Liam to eat. If you want to talk, that’s fine. We can talk, Abbi.” My words might have seemed a bit more truthful if I’d bothered to look at her when I said them, but I was pretty sure she’d see right through my lies if she got a look at my eyes. “Fine, then let’s talk. Maybe you can even face me too.” There was no missing her meaning there. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her, but I didn’t see the angry glare I thought I would. Instead, I saw a look of pure fear in her eyes, the kind someone got when they were afraid they were about to lose everything that meant the world to them. Christ, I didn’t want it to be like this. I wasn’t lying just to get my jollies. I never lied to Abbi, except about things that could hurt her. But I hated seeing how frightened she was by how I was acting. “Kane, I don’t know what’s going on, but my gut says something is. What’s wrong? Are you unhappy with me? With our life? It seems like every time I look into your eyes I see something that says you don’t want to be here anymore.” Hearing those words made me feel like someone was punching me in the heart. I put the spoon in the jar of baby food and took her hands in mine, wishing whatever I said next would erase the fear and sadness in her face. “I love you, Abbi. You and the kids are my life. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I hate that you even thought I wasn’t unbelievably happy with what we have here.” “Then why do you seem so preoccupied in the past few weeks? I was so sure you found someone else that I asked Olivia about it. She thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am, but I’ve never seen you like this before. So I’m asking you now. Is there someone else?” My chest hurt at the thought of any other woman other than Abbi for me. “No. I don’t want anyone else. Not from the moment I fell in love with you, which was about ten seconds after meeting you. You know that.” Liam squealed for more peas, so Abbi fed him another spoonful and then crouched down in front of me. Looking up into my eyes, she said, “Even now as you’re telling me there’s no one else, you have that look in your eyes. I’ve never seen you look like this, Kane. It’s like a look of need, and it scares the hell out of me because I’m worried one of these days you’re going to come home and tell me you’re leaving.” I wanted to tell her I knew what that look was from. I’d seen that very look in my eyes every time I looked in a mirror growing up. It came from knowing a part of my life was absent. Then it was because of my father, and now it was the possibility that I had another brother out there, another person like me who had been ignored all his life and never seen for who he truly was. But until I knew he wasn’t like the person I’d been back then, I wouldn’t risk bringing him into my life in any way that involved Abbi and the kids. Cradling her face, I tried to ease her mind and show her the look in my eyes was nothing. “I’m crazy in love with you, and every day I love you more, angel. I don’t want anyone else. There’s only you for me. You’re my life. Without you and the kids, I’d have no reason to live. It’s that simple. Whatever you’re seeing in my eyes, believe me, it has nothing to do with how much I love you and our kids. I’m sorry you thought I was unhappy. I’m not.” She let out a heavy sigh as tears filled her eyes. “I was so worried you’d gotten tired of this life and wanted something else, Kane. I told you that last night, and I meant it. I just want you to know if this isn’t what you want to do with your life, if you don’t want to run the restaurant or live in this house anymore,

I’ll be right by your side with what you want to do. I’m not afraid of change as long as we’re together. Just keep that in mind.” I leaned forward and kissed her gently, loving the feel of her lips on mine. “My work and where we live are things I can live without. You and the kids I can’t, though. You’re the most important parts of my life. You’re my family.” “We’ll always be there for you, Kane. I love you and the kids love their father. Never forget that.” Liam let out another cry to let us know he wanted more of his lunch, and while Abbi finished feeding him, I watched the woman I adored tend to him and hoped someday soon I’d be able to tell her what that look in my eyes was about. I may not have realized it until my own father died, but family was more important than anything else in the world.

Chapter Five

Stefan THE PARKING LOT OUTSIDE THE CocoNut Restaurant and Bar began to empty out as the minutes ticked toward midnight. Kane and I had sat there in his Mustang for nearly two hours trying to get a look at Sebastian Thorne. The PI my brother paid to do just this kind of thing had told him he’d be off work at ten, yet there we sat in his incredibly uncomfortable car staring at the doors of the building hoping to see him. “Tell me again why John couldn’t just take a friggin picture of the guy and we could see what he looks like that way? I swear you and that guy are stuck in the seventies,” I mumbled as I watched out the passenger side window for any sign of the person who might be our brother. “You didn’t have to come, Stefan. I never asked you to, in fact. All I said was I was coming here tonight. You invited yourself.” I turned to look at Kane and gave him a well-deserved sneer. “Whatever. That doesn’t answer the question of why John couldn’t do this. It is his job, you know. This is just the kind of thing he’s supposed to do. Instead, he’s comfy at his house while my ass feels like it’s about to fall asleep from sitting in this damn relic of yours. Why didn’t you use the SUV you guys own?” “Because it has the seats for the kids and if Abbi needs to take them anywhere she needs that car.” Reaching for the radio, he turned up a Led Zeppelin song and said, “Now if you’re done questioning me on things that have nothing to do with what we’re doing here.” I threw him another sneer and turned my head back toward the window to continue the Sebastian watch. I knew why Kane had taken the Mustang instead of the SUV. He still hadn’t told Abbi one damn thing about this whole potential brand new brother business. Well, that and he loved this car like it was one of his kids. Why I had no idea. He made more than enough money to afford a brand new car instead of something that was over forty years old. To hear him talk, it was better than anything Cash or I owned, but at the moment, my sore ass made me disagree. A few more minutes of sitting like this and I might have to bail on this whole thing. Five minutes later, I truly wished I hadn’t relied on him for a ride. It was bad enough to be uncomfortable, but having to listen to seventies classic rock and not say a word threatened to make me go crazy. Knowing I was breaking one of the cardinal rules of being in his car, I reached over and turned the music down. Without a word, Kane narrowed his eyes to angry slits. “Unless you’re going to tell me you see him, there was no reason to turn that off.” I tilted my head to the left and right to crack my neck. “No, I don’t see him, and I’m starting to go stir crazy sitting here in silence. Can’t we at least have a conversation if we’re going to be stuck doing this?” Kane’s eyes scanned the restaurant for a moment before he looked over at me. “What do you want to talk about, Stefan?” Boredom had clearly settled into his brain too if he was willing to chat, but I didn’t care. Anything was better than what I’d been suffering through for the past two hours. “Well, for one thing, I’m wondering why you haven’t told Abbi what’s going on with this Sebastian guy. What’s with all the cloak and dagger shit?” The angry slits came back in response to my question, and then he gruffly answered, “What I tell my

wife or don’t tell my wife is none of your business.” “Great. Thanks for that scintillating conversation. It was thrilling.” I returned to staring out the window to spy some guy who supposedly looked the spitting image of the person I sat next to. All I could hope for was he had a better disposition. I didn’t need another cranky brother. I had my fill of them already. Another few minutes passed with no sight of the guy, so I looked over at Kane to see if he was as frustrated as I was. I saw nothing in his face to tell me he felt anything at all. Talk about a poker face. “Maybe we should accept the fact that either he got past us somehow or John got his quitting time wrong. Not that this hasn’t been great fun and all, but I think we’re wasting our time.” Kane said nothing and remained stone-faced as he stared at the back door of the building. Unless I planned to have Shay drive out to get me, I was trapped there. Swell. Still focused on the restaurant, Kane finally said, “I haven’t told Abbi for the same reason Cash doesn’t want anything to do with this.” “Because you’re worried this guy contacted you because he’s a money grubber?” He shook his head, and for one of the few times since we parked the car looked at me. “No, because I want to protect her and the kids. If Sebastian turns out to be some piece of shit who’s going to bring nothing but bad into our lives, I don’t want the people I love the most to have to deal with that. I’ll deal with it on my own and they’ll never have to know.” “I don’t get you, Kane. You and Abbi have this love that transcends everything kind of relationship, yet you keep shit from her. Everyone looks and Shay and me like we’re the lamest couple ever, yet I don’t keep anything from her. I told her about this possible new brother the day you told me.” I knew I was treading on dangerous ground questioning his relationship with Abbi. Of all the things in his life, what he had with her was the most important of them all. I wasn’t just being a bust ass when I described their love as the kind that transcends all. That was how he saw them. Everyone else was common and average compared to how he felt for her. He didn’t lash out at me, though. Actually, if anything, his expression and body language relaxed as he listened to me talk. “Abbi and Shay are very different people, Stefan. Abbi relies on me to protect her. Shay doesn’t need that from you.” Kane wasn’t wrong about Shay. She was a fighter, no doubt. I liked that about her. But Abbi wasn’t as delicate as my brother made her out to be. I’d seen her go toe-to-toe with him on more than one occasion, and she held her own, even as he towered over her glaring down at every word coming out of her mouth. “I think you underestimate your wife, dude. She’s not some dainty flower that is going to wilt at the first sign of bad times. Hell, last Fourth of July I thought she was going to slug you after you broke Cash’s wrist arm wrestling. I think if Olivia hadn’t freaked out, she would have torn you a new one.” Looking out the front window, he sighed. “It’s not the same thing. That’s harmless fun.” A small smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Well, harmless unless you’re Cash.” Since I had him talking and I’d even gotten a rare smile from him, I asked what had been on my mind since hearing that Cash had just found out about the bad feelings between Abbi and Shay. “Hey, I’m curious. Why does your wife still dislike my girlfriend? I mean, that was years ago and nothing happened.” In a flash, everything about him iced over. “No idea.” If I was a suspicious man, I might have wondered what this sudden change in behavior was about. I knew Kane, though. His unwillingness to speculate on why Abbi continued to irrationally dislike Shay over one night years ago that didn’t even involve them having sex was the result of some kind of guilt he

still carried to that day. Not that he shouldn’t feel shitty about how he acted way back when. He should. It just seemed that the whole jealousy thing Abbi carried around should have a statute of limitations even if his guilt didn’t. I wanted to say that, but why bother? He’d either not respond at all or get pissed and take a swing at me. After sitting there for hours bored out of my gourd, the last thing I wanted was a slugfest with the brother I had no chance of taking. If it was Cash, I might have at least entertained the idea. On off days, beating him was a definite possibility. Then again, Cash would have never forced me to sit in some old car listening to goddamned golden oldies for hours while he remained sullen and silent staring out the window. At least with him I would have been sitting on some luxury seat. Just then, Kane leaned forward toward the dash and pointed at someone walking out the back door of the restaurant. “Look.” I did as he said and saw a dark haired male leaving alone and walking toward a car on the far end of the parking lot. Well, staggering was a better description. The guy looked like his brain had forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other. After a few seconds of watching his drunken ass stumble and seeing him nearly go head over heels over a curb, I wondered aloud, “Are we going to let this guy drive anywhere? He looks like he can barely walk, much less drive.” Kane made some noise that sounded like he was disgusted and opened his door to get out. “Stay here if you want. I don’t think he’s going to be much to handle in his state.” “What are you going to do with him?” As he slammed the door, I heard him say, “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t kill himself or someone else.” Confused as to why I just sat doing the incognito thing for hours if we were going to meet the damn guy face to face anyway, I jumped out of the car and jogged to catch up to Kane as he got to Sebastian, our potential new brother who currently was fall down drunk and lying on the pavement. “Dude, he’s fucked up,” I said with a chuckle as we stood over him. “You’re going to have to take him home.” The look on Kane’s face told me this was way more than he’d signed up for when he picked me up tonight. As distasteful as it was to me too, we couldn’t leave the guy in the shape he was in and risk him driving somewhere when he woke up. We’d have to get him home. Hopefully, he wasn’t so fucked up that he didn’t know where he lived. “You know, this could mean he’s not one of Dad’s. We handle our drink a little better than this.” Kane slowly turned his head and stared at me like I’d said something nonsensical. “Do I need to remind you of all the nights Cash or I or both of us had to mop you up off the floor at Club X in the early days? Man, you were a sloppy ass drunk when you were younger.” I wanted to disagree, but he wasn’t wrong. I was exactly how he described me. But by the time I was this guy’s age, I had learned to drink better than he had, at least. From the ground, Sebastian Thorne opened his eyes and looked up at us. “I don’t have drink more money tonight so fuck off.” Staring down at him like he was some burden he hated, Kane said, “Help me get him up.” I reached for Sebastian’s arm as Kane lifted his other side, but the guy seemed practically boneless and slid out of our holds, laughing as he hit the ground with all his weight. Looking down at his stupid ass lying there, all I knew was I definitely hadn’t signed on to be some drunk’s babysitter tonight. Undaunted, Kane waved me on to grab his arm again. “Hold on to him to him this time, for fuck’s

sake. He’s like dead weight.” I lifted Sebastian’s right side, snapping back, “Which means you could do this all on your own.” Finally, we got him onto his feet and stable. Turning to look at me first and then Kane, Sebastian said, “Are you my…my uh…guardian angels?” Kane simply glared at him, but since I was feeling particularly smart assed at that moment, I answered, “Yeah, that’s it. We’re angels. Now behave or I’m going to smack the fuck out of you with my wings.”

Chapter Six

Kane SEBASTIAN SAT IN THE BACKSEAT of the Mustang, complaining the entire time as I drove toward his apartment about a dozen blocks from where he worked. Worried he’d throw up all over my car, I kept one eye on him and one eye on the road, regretting my choice to get a look at him tonight. “So now we’re some kind of drunk car service?” Stefan grumbled. I didn’t want to discuss this new turn of events with him, especially since he’d seen this night unraveling hours ago. Even he hadn’t predicted this end, though. “Uh, who are you guys?” Telling Sebastian we may or may not have been his brothers didn’t seem like the right thing to say, but other than that explanation, I had nothing but anger. I figured I’d let Stefan handle the guy since he seemed like he wanted to talk. He turned to look into the backseat and said, “What’s your fucking problem? Do you have short-term memory loss or something? I just told you five minutes ago who we are. Angels, remember?” I watched in the rearview mirror as Sebastian grew even more confused. Finally, after he appeared to think through what he’d heard, he said, “Really? Like real angels?” Stefan laughed like any of this was funny. “The stupid is strong with this one. I’m severely doubting he could be one of us.” “One of you? What are you guys, like some secret society? Are you taking me to your hideout?” It was like babysitting a teenage boy with delusions of grandeur. Looking back at him, I asked, “Did you give me the right directions to your house back there?” Slapping me in the shoulder, Stefan laughed. “I like this guy. He’s dumb as a post, but he’s funny as all hell.” “I have been told that I’m funny,” Sebastian slurred. “What’s your fucking address?” I barked, startling him. “My address? 745 Chest…Chestnuts. I mean, Chestnut. Yeah, that’s it. My favorite nut. Chestnuts.” “I swear if that’s not right, I’m going to pound the fuck out of him just on principle,” I said to no one in particular, just needing to let off some steam before I reached back and slapped this guy silly. “So how’s that new brother thing working for you now, Kane? Still pumped about the idea?” Stefan teased as I made a left turn onto Chestnut Street. I looked at the numbers on each house hoping we were close. 700 block. Now I just had to find 745, unload him into his apartment, and go home to Abbi and the kids. “Right now, I’m thinking being an only child might be a really great thing.” With a glance into the backseat, I saw Sebastian had fallen asleep. I elbowed Stefan and said, “Wake him up. We’re almost there.” By the time I parked the car in front of the house, he was awake again and completely confused. While Stefan tried to explain what had happened, I turned the car off and announced to both of them it was time to get out, praying to God he’d given me the right address because if he hadn’t, it was going to take every ounce of will power I possessed not to just leave him right there on Chestnut Street. Sebastian stumbled out of the car and onto the sidewalk in typical drunk fashion, nearly landing on his

face after less than three steps. It had been a long time since I had to babysit a drunk like this, and I didn’t miss it. To be honest, Stefan had been a better time when he was hammered. This one was just sloppy. We held him up for a few feet until we got to a set of steps leading to a narrow white house. Holding his arms out, Sebastian slurred, “I got this. I’m cool. I got it.” He put one foot on the first step and feel face forward, landing flat on the stairs to the porch. Jesus Christ, I was beginning to hate this guy. Brother or not, he was a pain in the ass. Stefan stood doubled over with laughter as Sebastian groaned in pain. “Holy fuck, this guy is hysterical! Now I’m hoping he’s our brother just for the laughs.” I’d had enough of this shit. Scooping the now bloody-faced Sebastian up, I threw him over my right shoulder and marched up to the door next to the number 745 on the house. With Stefan behind me, I knocked on the door but got no answer. Nudging Sebastian, I asked, “Is the person you live with at home?” He opened his blue eyes and nodded. “I don’t know. Dani might not be here now. Get my key out of my pocket.” I looked over at Stefan. “You heard him. Time to go fish.” His expression twisted into a grimace. “I’m not sticking my hand in some guy’s pants, Kane.” “I swear to God, Stefan. if you don’t get those fucking keys, I’m going to use you and him as battering rams and bust this goddamned door down. Now get the keys.” In a flash, he changed his tune. Reaching into Sebastian’s pocket, he mumbled, “Okay, okay. Man, you’re so testy.” I regretted ever even thinking I should try to find out any more about this possible brother of ours at the moment, and testy wasn’t even close to what I was really feeling. Enraged was more like it. Stefan jingled a set of keys in front of him and smiled as he opened the front door to the house. “Open sesame. Easy peasy. No need to threaten anyone.” Before he could take the keys out of the doorknob, I pushed past him into a living room that looked like something out of a frat house. Beer bottles lay strewn around the room, with a few empty liquor bottles still standing on the coffee table in front of the couch. Fast food bags lay on the floor and on the chair in the corner. If any female lived there, I didn’t want to meet her. “Fuck, he’s a pig,” Stefan said as I dumped Sebastian onto the couch. “Dude, is this how you live?” Sebastian opened his eyes and looked around like he didn’t know where he was. “Dani must not have cleaned up before she and her friends left. That’s what I get for letting her hang out here. Damn.” He made a move to grab one of the empty vodka bottles on the table but gave up or changed his mind and just sat back against the couch. Sure he was safe and not going to be driving anytime soon since his car was still back at the CocoNut parking lot, I motioned with my head to Stefan it was time to leave. “But you wanted to get a look at the guy, so why don’t we take the time to at least talk to him? He might be, you know, our brother.” “I already know too much about him,” I said as I took a step toward the door. Stefan grabbed my arm to stop me before I made it very far. “Come on. Just a couple minutes. We waited all those hours. What’s a few minutes more?” “If you’re so eager to talk to him, go ahead. I’ll just stay here next to the door. You have five minutes.” Undaunted by my lack of interest, Stefan jumped at the chance to find out more about the drunken mess of a person with a bloody nose who was barely keeping his eyes open. Positioning himself next to him on the couch, he said, “Hey, dude, wake up. Let’s talk.” Sebastian’s eyes opened wide and fixed on him. “I didn’t realize you were still here. What do you want from me?”

“What’s your deal? Do you always get stone drunk on a Monday night?” I couldn’t help but smile at the judgmental tone in Stefan’s voice. It wasn’t that many years ago that he got drunk every night of the week and Cash and I had to deal with him. Scrubbing his face, Sebastian seemed to think about the questions for a minute. His voice a little less slurry, he said, “Well, not that it’s any of your business, but I decided to have a few after work tonight with one of the girls who works at CocoNut’s. So after Tawny got off, we got to drinking.” “I thought you said your girlfriend’s name was Dani.” More judgment from someone who used to go through women like they were water. Sebastian grinned and with a shrug said, “I didn’t say she was my wife or anything. We hang out. Why do you fucking care? Who are you again?” Before I could stop him, Stefan outed the both of us. “I’m Stefan and this is Kane.” Looking at each of us, he said, “I know those names. Did you tell me in the car?” Hoping to lie well enough to confuse him, I spoke up. “Yeah, we did, but we have to go. Stef, let’s go. Now.” He held his hand up to stop me. “Wait a minute. I want to talk more to Sebastian here. So did you get anywhere with that Tawny girl?” I rolled my eyes. Of all the questions he could ask the guy, that was the one that came to his mind first? Maybe old Stefan wasn’t entirely gone after all. Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, I did. It was sort of like shooting fish in a barrel, though, I have to admit. She’s wanted me for a while, so I figured why not, right? You’re only young once, and I’m not tied down to anyone.” Stefan looked over at me and smiled. “I like this guy. He’s a shitty drunk, but I like his attitude. He reminds me of me a few years ago.” “Yeah. That’s a reason to not like someone, Stef. Let’s go.” Ignoring me, Stefan asked Sebastian, “So what else do you do other than work at a restaurant, get drunk, and pick up women?” “Is there anything else to do around here?” Sebastian answered way too cocky. More and more, I started to believe he was another son of Cassian March. “Well, no, probably not, but if you could do other things, what would you do?” He ran his hands through his black hair and thought about the question for a few seconds. “I always dreamed of going west. You know, getting out of this state and seeing the rest of the country. I’ve never seen mountains, so I’d like to see them.” Time up. “Stefan, come here.” Both of them looked at me, but thankfully Stefan didn’t argue with me and came over to where I was standing. Shaking my head, I tried to find the words to make him understand I had no more interest in whatever he was trying to do with Sebastian. “I’m not sure what this whole high school guidance counselor thing you have going on with this guy is, but your five minutes is up. Time to go.” I saw in his dark eyes he really wanted to know more about the guy. He had that curious look in them. “Come on, Kane. I think he could be our brother. Don’t you want a chance to get to know him a little?” “No. He reminds me too much of what you were like in the early days at the club.” Stefan sneered. “Don’t be an asshole. He’s just a kid having a good time. Just because you’ve been this serious guy all your life doesn’t mean everyone else has to be. Give him a chance. Just a few minutes more.” Leaning down so my face was no more than an inch away from his, I fixed my gaze on him. “I’m not

interested in finding out any more about this guy.” He looked over at Sebastian lying back on the couch, his face still bloody. “At least let’s clean him up a little. He’s a mess. Give me a minute and then we can leave.” I watched as Stefan got a wet paper towel from the kitchen and handed him it. “You’re bleeding, man. You know, from when you fell on the stairs. Use this on your face.” Confused, Sebastian asked, “I fell on the stairs? When?” “Just take it and clean your nose. You might have broken it. At least it’s stopped bleeding, though,” Stefan said in his most helpful voice. A knock at the door tore me away from the odd scene playing out in front of me, but before I opened it, I asked, “Any idea who this could be?” I wasn’t in the mood for any more bullshit tonight. “It could be Dani or maybe Tawny. I guess it could be anybody,” Sebastian said like he’d given up thinking about the correct answer after two names. If this guy was our brother, the three of us had a responsibility as his big brothers to get rid of that idiotic way he had about him. And straighten his ass out with the drinking. As long as it wasn’t some guy on the other side of the door who wanted to finish what the stairs had started, I’d be happy. Whoever it was could come in and deal with him and Stefan and I could leave. I liked that plan. Turning the knob, I opened the door and stared out into the night to see not Dani or Tawny or anyone else I should see on Sebastian’s porch. Before I had the chance to say a word, the person who’d knocked glared up at me. I’d seen that look before, but I certainly hadn’t expected to see it at that moment. What the hell was Abbi doing at Sebastian’s apartment?

Chapter Seven

Abbi MY HEART SUNK AS I stared up at Kane standing there in the doorway to that house. Who lived there? Did the woman I’d suspected he’d been cheating on me with live there and he was spending time with her instead of at the restaurant fixing that electrical problem like he’d claimed hours earlier? “Abbi, what are you doing here? Who’s watching the kids?” he asked in a voice that teetered between angry and confused. I tried to look around him, but he blocked my view. “Who’s in there, Kane? Who is she? I can’t believe you’d do this to us!” He closed the door and began to guide me down the front steps toward the car. “Angel, you have this all wrong. Go home and I’ll be back in less than an hour.” “I will not go home!” I angrily answered, pushing against him to get away so I could see who this woman was who he felt he should throw his life away for. The life we’d made together. I flung the door open just as Kane caught my arm and saw Stefan sitting on the couch with another man. Looking around for the woman, I saw no one but them. Unsure what was going on, I pointed at Stefan and demanded, “Tell me where she is right now. I know she’s here.” He said something about me being mistaken, but as he spoke I noticed the man sitting next to him was Sebastian, the man I’d had coffee with a few weeks ago after Alexandria had told me about her husband fathering another son the three brothers hadn’t met yet. “Sebastian? What are you doing here with them? And what happened to your face?” I turned to look at Kane as he glared at him. “Did you hit him?” “Abbi, right?” Sebastian said with a chuckle. “The girl from the coffee shop. I have no idea why all you people are in my apartment, but you’re a nice addition.” Stefan looked back and forth between Kane and me and Sebastian with a thoroughly confused expression before finally saying, “How do you two know each other?” From behind me, Kane said in a low, angry voice, “Exactly what I was about to ask.” I spun around and stared up at my husband, my arms folded across my chest to hold me back from lashing out. “So you think you’re in a position to ask anything since you’ve been lying to my face for at least a week about where you’ve been going?” Kane said nothing, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he met my angry gaze with one of his own. Behind me, I heard Stefan say to Sebastian, “Oh, you’re going to love these two! He routinely lies about things because he thinks she needs to be protected, and when she finds out about one, she goes toe-to-toe with him about it. It makes for some great family get-togethers, I can tell you.” Sebastian, still clearly confused, asked, “So are you his sister or something?” I turned around to explain who I was, but Kane pushed me behind him and said flatly, “She’s my wife, and you’re about to tell me why you were having coffee with her.” Stefan jumped up from the couch. “Whoa, I know that look. I don’t think this is what you think it is, Kane. Let the guy explain before you go pounding him into the ground.” Backing up to the far end of the couch, Sebastian put up his hands in surrender. “Dude, no need to go pounding anything on me. We weren’t having coffee together. Well, we were, but it wasn’t like it was a

date or anything. She was just there at the coffee shop and asked me if she could sit down at the table I was at since it was so crowded. Nothing else. We had a nice talk for a few minutes. I swear that was it. Honest.” Kane took a step toward him, but I grabbed his arm to stop him. “He’s telling the truth. Don’t do anything.” For a moment, I wasn’t sure he believed either of us. I knew my husband better than anyone else in the world, and hearing I was spending time with some man, even if I wanted to find out if he was his brother, wasn’t something he ever wanted to hear. To say he was possessive was an understatement. He looked down at me with a mixture of hurt and anger in those dark blue eyes, and I knew he was struggling to not act on his nature. Hoping to convince him, I brought his left hand to my lips and pressed a soft kiss onto the wedding band that matched mine. “I would never be with anyone else. You know that, Kane. My time with Sebastian at that coffee shop was mere coincidence. I was there to meet Gemma.” That my being at that coffee shop that day wasn’t a coincidence at all wasn’t anything he needed to know. At least not at that moment as Stefan and Sebastian sat there watching us. Cradling my face, Kane said in a soft voice I knew was forced, “Abbi, I’ll be home in a little while after I get finished here. We’ll talk when I get home.” I didn’t need to argue anything after he said that. There was no point. I knew my husband. I could either understand that he didn’t want to talk about this there and cause a scene, which would result in him taking me to the car, or I could accept that he was trying to be what he’d always promised he’d be to me. The kind of man I wanted. True, he was jealous and possessive and he lied to me to protect me from things I didn’t need protecting from, but beyond all that, he loved me like I was the queen of his world. I accepted the bad with him because of that good. Without another word, I turned to leave, but Kane gently touched me on the shoulder to stop me. I looked back at him and saw a tiny smile that went all the way up to his eyes. Everything would be okay. IT WAS MORE THAN AN hour later, but he finally returned home just after I got the kids tucked into their beds and read Annalea her nighttime story. Kane sat down on his side of the bed and silently slid out of his shirt before turning to look at me. “It wasn’t a coincidence that you were at that coffee shop, was it?” he asked in a low voice. Caught off guard by how direct his question was, I took a deep breath. There was no point in lying. I wasn’t ashamed of anything I’d done. “No.” He studied my face for a moment before he spoke again. “You went there to meet him because you think he’s my brother?” “Yes. Alexandria told me the story a few weeks ago, and I wanted to see for myself. So I found out where he works and followed him to that coffee shop.” Kane sighed and hung his head. “Why? You could have been hurt. What if he was some guy who kidnaps and rapes women?” I reached over to touch his shoulder. “I’m not some virginal girl who doesn’t know a thing or two about bad men. I haven’t always been with you. I was smart about it. I caught up with him in a public place in broad daylight. I was never in any danger, baby.” Kane turned his head to face me, and I saw the worry in his eyes. “I remember, Abbi. I’ve spent every

minute of my life with you making sure you don’t have to, though.” “I know you want to protect me. I get that. It’s who you are, and I love you for it. No woman has a more wonderful or more protective husband than I do. It’s just that I’m not some naïve child who needs to be shielded from things, Kane. I’m a grown woman and your wife, but sometimes it feels like you treat me like one of the kids.” He closed his eyes and leaned back on the bed so his head was in my lap. When he opened them, he nodded. “I just want to be the kind of man for you that my mother never had. She worried about everything, and it made her bitter and hateful to my father. I don’t want you to ever have to worry.” “I love that you want to be that for me, baby,” I said as I ran my fingers through his soft, black hair, longer now than when we first met. “I just wish you could see that I can be more than someone you have to protect. You can share things with me. Even bad things, Kane, because when you don’t and you keep them from me, I end up worrying anyway.” He thought about what I said for a minute and smiled before sitting up to face me. “Did you tell him you thought he was our brother?” Shaking my head, I thought about my brief encounter with Sebastian at the coffee shop near his house and chuckled. “No. I never planned to do that. I just wanted to see for myself if he could be another son of Cassian March. He looks the part, but other than that, all I found out was he’s a little like I imagine Stefan would be if he was single. Definitely a player.” A serious look came over Kane’s face. “Did he hit on you?” “No, not so much hit on me. I got the feeling he doesn’t see anyone out of his reach, though.” Relieved to hear Sebastian hadn’t tried to get into my pants, Kane nodded in agreement with my description of the guy’s attitude toward women. “He’s definitely cocky.” “So do you think he’s your brother?” “I don’t know. He looks a lot like me and Cash, but so far my guy hasn’t found out anything that proves he’s another son.” “Now that you’ve met him, do you want him to be?” Kane’s eyebrows rose. “The jury’s still out on that.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Do you know why I wanted to see if he was another son of your father’s?” “No. Did Alexandria make it seem like it was important to find him?” Kane asked, clearly in the dark about why I would bother to search out this person. “No, I did it because he’d be like you. From what she said, he never really knew his father either. I just thought if you knew someone was out there who was like you in that way that you’d want to know about him.” Kane kissed me softly on the lips in that way he did when he wanted me to know how much he loved me without saying it. “If you know me so well, how could you think I’d ever cheat on you, Abbi?” I hated that I’d been so stupid to think that this man who gave me everything he was without hesitation would go with anyone else. Deep in my heart I knew he wouldn’t, but my insecurities had gotten the better of me. “I knew you weren’t telling me the truth. When you lie to protect me, I can’t help it. I think it’s because you’re doing things with someone else.” He looked at me in that pained way that showed how much he hated hurting me and kissed me again. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you doubt me. I just didn’t want to bring him into our lives until I found out if he was really our brother and I knew he was the kind of person I want around the woman I love and my children.”

I laid my head on his shoulder, loving the strength he offered just by being there to protect me. “For nearly seven years, I’ve tried to show you that I can handle being with you. You deserve a wife who you can tell things to, not some delicate soul you always feel like you have to watch over and protect. I’m not that girl I was when you met me anymore. I love that you want to keep me and the kids safe, but I’d love it even more if you included me in things like this.” I knew I was asking him to be different than he naturally was. I also knew he’d never truly be like Cash was with Olivia. It simply wasn’t who he was. Kane swallowed hard and looked down at the bed. “I hide things so you don’t get hurt, but even more, so you aren’t in danger. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, angel.” “You aren’t going to lose me. I found the best man in the world, Kane. I’m not going to let this life we have go for anything.” He smiled at me and nodded. “From now on, when my brothers and I get together to talk about this, I’d like you to be there. I should mention that it might mean Shay will be around because Stefan told her everything.” A tiny lick of jealousy flared inside me every time Kane even said her name. I knew it was stupid and irrational because they’d both sworn nothing ever happened between them, but that had never been the problem. She’d been the one to convince him to be there for me and Annalea, not me. I wasn’t jealous that he cared for her. I was jealous still all these years later that my words hadn’t been enough but hers had. Forcing a smile, I kissed him. “That’s fine. What about Olivia and Cash?” Kane shrugged. “So far they don’t want any part of this new brother thing. I guess I don’t blame them. If Cash had seen him tonight, I don’t think that would have helped either. He seems to be nothing more than a fall down drunken kid of twenty-six.” “Well, whatever he is, if he’s your brother, you’re going to have to decide how much you want to do with him.” Bringing my hand to his mouth, Kane kissed my wedding band and smiled. “We’re going to have to decide.” It wasn’t a huge step, but it was a step, nonetheless. Knowing Kane, that word we’re meant the world to me.

Chapter Eight

Cassian MY PHONE BUZZED AS I pulled my car into my parking spot behind CK. Looking down at where it sat in the console, I saw it was Stefan. To get a call from that brother before noon was like seeing snow for the Fourth of July, so I quickly answered it, curious as to what had gotten him out of bed so early. “Hey, Stef. What’s up?” “Have you talked to Kane yet today?” he asked hurriedly, like he hoped I hadn’t so he could tell me what he had to say. Turning the engine off, I slid out of the driver’s seat and slammed the door. “No, why?” “You missed a good time last night. Well, not the first few hours, but the last one was much better.” Struck by how unlikely those words were coming from Stef about a night out with Kane, I stopped dead at the back door to the building. “You two went out last night? Really?” Stefan’s laughter at even the suggestion came through loud and clear. “Uh, no. We might not hate each other, but Kane and I have completely different ideas of what constitutes a good time. No, we went on a stakeout. Well, sort of a stakeout.” I could imagine this brother doing something like that, but Kane? He was the steady rock among the three of us, and now he was going on stakeouts with Stefan? And why would either of them be part of a stakeout? What the hell was going on? As I opened the back door to the restaurant, I said, “I’m not sure I even want to ask what you mean, but I am curious why Kane of all people would be doing something like that, and with you, to boot.” Sounding like I’d hurt his feelings, Stefan asked, “Why be like that? Kane and I get along fine. We have for a while. We even do things together.” Now it was my turn to laugh. “Really? Since your girlfriend and his wife can’t be in the same place for more than a few seconds, exactly what are you doing together?” “So now that you finally caught up with the rest of us this is going to be part of every damn conversation with you? And unlike you, Cash, we can do things without our women tagging along. Seriously, dude, when did you become so whipped?” I dropped my keys onto my desk and shut the door to my office. “It’s not being whipped if you really love the person, Stef. So are you going to tell me what you and Kane did that you called me about this morning or are we just going to continue with the insults about my happiness?” Stefan sighed like he was six years old again and I’d just popped his balloon. “Jeez, everybody in this family is so fucking testy.” “It’s just that I have a busy day ahead of me and need to get going with work.” In truth, I had a sinking feeling the story he was about to tell me had to do with Sebastian and the possibility he was our brother, something I didn’t want to think about at that moment. Or any other moment in the foreseeable future. Kane and Stef may have been all jacked up about getting a new baby brother, but I didn’t want to be involved. “Fine. I’ll make it short then,” Stefan said in his hurt feelings voice. “We ended up meeting Sebastian Thorne last night and it was going pretty well until Abbi showed up and Kane thought she’d been with the guy. Well, I don’t know about well because he was pretty drunk, but he’s definitely a good time. We still

don’t have any real proof that he’s one of us, but he damn sure looks like it. He’s the spitting image of Kane.” Whatever he said after Abbi being with the guy who might be our brother got lost in the recesses of my mind. Confused, I said, “Wait a second. Abbi and Sebastian Thorne know each other? Before or after she met Kane?” What the hell was I saying before or after? Abbi wasn’t the type of woman to cheat on anyone, and for God’s sake, she adored Kane. Maybe I’d heard Stefan wrong. “No, no. Abbi met him just a month or so ago. Odd coincidence, I guess. But that’s not the point of the story. Keep up, Cash. The point is we met him and got to talk to him face-to-face. I have to say I’m definitely hoping he’s one of us now.” “Why? Because he’s a good time?” The phone fell silent for a moment, and then Stefan said, “Well, yeah. It’s hard being the only person in our family who still knows how to have fun. Marriage has ruined you, and Kane has been a lost cause since the night he met Abbi. It’ll be nice to have someone around who isn’t all about work and home for a change.” Sometimes Stefan was still that twenty-one year old punk ass brother who refused to see that life was more than drinking too much and screwing women. I’d hoped Shay would help that, but even after all these years together, she and he seemed no closer to settling down. That only encouraged him to think he could still act like a kid. “Well, that’s nice for you, Stef. I’m a little busy today, so have fun,” I said as I opened my laptop to begin my day. “That’s it? You’re still not even the least bit interested in finding out anything about this guy who very well might be our brother? I mean, what the fuck, Cash?” “Stef, by the way you’ve made him sound, I can’t imagine having anything in common with this Sebastian person. I’m just a boring guy running a successful business and loving my family. I’ll leave you to find out about him, and if he’s in fact our brother, I’m sure I’ll meet him at some family get-together at some point.” I couldn’t imagine that ever really happening, in truth. While my mother had accepted Kane, I doubted she’d be inviting yet another of my father’s kids over for the next family barbeque. Then again, she did love Stefan and nothing made her happier than to encourage him on his flights of fancy, so maybe she would welcome another illegitimate son with open arms. Regardless, I wanted nothing to do with the whole damn matter. Our father’s sexual peccadillos and the results of them weren’t anything I had room for in my world. If Stefan and Kane cared, so be it. It didn’t change how I felt. “So you still don’t want to find out about him?” “Nope. You and Kane can have at it.” Stefan grunted. “So is Kane in yet? I’m curious to know how he’s doing this morning.” “No. If you want to talk to him, you’ll have to find him at home, I’m guessing. You know, where his wife and kids are, the people he lives for.” More grunting came through the phone. “Whatever. Nice talking to you, Cash.” “Same here, Stef. Talk to you later.” I tossed my phone onto the pile of papers on the corner of my desk and tried to push the thought of brothers entirely out of my mind. I knew Stefan wouldn’t let up on this whole Sebastian issue, though. It had become like a cause to him, and when my younger brother found something to focus on, there was no changing his mind.

That was fine, but I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I’d heard whispers about my father’s other kids all my life, and I was sick of it. Maybe that was selfish of me because I’d had the luck of being his firstborn and namesake, but I didn’t care. I’d done everything my father had ever asked of me without question. I’d lived my life so he could be proud. To the day he died, I looked up to him. But now that I was a husband and father myself, I could see the chinks in his armor. The man I’d idolized all those years hadn’t been good to my mother or his children by her. Stefan still bore the emotional scars of being overlooked his entire life by the one man he wanted to notice him. And me? I’d thought being like my father was something to be proud of until I met Olivia. That my father had never come to that revelation for my mother ate at me every time I thought about him out fucking other women and producing kids all over town. I loved Kane as much as I loved Stefan, but now that I had a wife and son of my own, I didn’t want to have to keep welcoming my father’s sins into my life anymore. This Sebastian person might very well be a great guy. He might be, but there was no room in the world I’d created for him and the baggage he undoubtedly would bring with him. A knock on my office door tore me out of my thoughts, and I called out for whoever it was to come in. Kane appeared in my doorway dressed in his usual suit pants, dress shirt, and tie but looking unusually happy, especially considering what Stefan had told me about the events of the night before. “You’re in early this morning. It’s not even eleven yet. What’s up?” His smile faded just a bit, and he said, “Wanted to make sure I took care of that issue with the produce people, so I got here early to talk to the owner. I’m tired of us getting only half of what we order and then having to listen to excuses. Plus, I needed to have a talk with Gabriel about the problems we had on Saturday.” “I’m glad it was you who met with him. I have to say I didn’t want to be the one to do it,” I admitted. “For a chef, he’s way too emotional. I thought he was going to lose his mind the other day.” Kane folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Well, I smoothed things over, so hopefully he’s happier now. We can’t afford to lose him, Cash. He’s one of the reasons people come to this place.” “I know. I don’t deny how good he is. I just don’t like all the bullshit he brings into my work life.” Smiling, Kane nodded. “You’re all about keeping the bullshit out it seems these days. Everything okay?” I knew where he was going with this. “Yeah. I just prefer an uncluttered life filled only with this place and my family.” “And if Sebastian Thorne turns out to be our brother, will that include him?” Usually I preferred Kane’s way of being straightforward. Today I would have liked him to be less frank, though, so I could pretend to not understand his meaning and escape more discussion of this damn Sebastian person. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping if I chose my words correctly that I could avoid this discussion again in the future. “You and Stefan seem to have a one-track mind when it comes to that topic. I’m sorry, Kane, but I don’t feel the same way you two do, so whatever happens with him, I’m not sure I’m ever going to be interested in being a part of it.” Wincing, Kane nodded again, and a look of acceptance came over his face. “I get it. I just wanted to see if anything had changed in your mind. I won’t ask again.” “Thanks. Now if you could convince Stefan to do the same.” Kane’s smile returned, brightening his face. Chuckling, he said, “I don’t see that happening. He loves

the idea of having a younger brother who’s more like him than we are.” I rolled my eyes, remembering my conversation with him. “I heard all about it. It sounds like he’s found a potential partner in crime for his nights out. Shay’s going to love that.” Knocking his knuckles off the door, Kane smiled. “Maybe. Well, I’ll see you later. I’ve got a few errands to run before we open. Call me if you need me.” With that, he was gone. This was why we got along so well. If it was Stefan standing in my doorway, I’d be talking myself to death about this Sebastian thing until the restaurant opened. And somehow I was supposed to want another brother just like him? I OPENED THE DOOR TO our condo as silently as possible, knowing that Olivia had likely just gotten Cassian to sleep. A tired mother wanted nothing less than to have some idiot loping into the house at nearly midnight and waking up the child she’d spent hours finally getting into bed. Even if that idiot was the man who loved her. She sat curled up on the couch, her eyes closed as the TV played some movie we’d said we wanted to see over a year ago. We’d never gotten to the theater for that one or half a dozen others that had seemed interesting. I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, waking her. She sat up with a start and shook the sleep from her head. “Hey, did you just get home?” she whispered. “Yeah. It was a late one tonight. How was your day?” I asked as I sat down next to her. “Busy. Your son got into the flour and dumped the bag all over him. He looked like a little pasty ghost, and you should have seen the tub after I got him all clean. It looked like there had been a disaster in there. That took up about two hours of my day.” I pressed a kiss onto her forehead and held her tired body to mine. “I’ll trade you. I’ll take care of Cassian and you can deal with my brothers and this Sebastian nonsense.” Olivia squeezed me to her and whispered, “You still don’t want anything to do with that? I know they want you to get on board.” Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and savored the feel of my wife next to me for the first time in over twelve hours. “No. All I want is right here and in his bedroom dreaming of the next disaster he has in store for us.” She didn’t say anything else and with a heavy sigh drifted off to sleep in my arms. I didn’t need another brother. I already had all I needed.

Chapter Nine

Kane JOHN SAT IN THE SAME position where I’d left him two days before behind his old desk staring at his laptop. Wondering if he’d even left to get a bite to eat, I joked, “If all this job entails is sitting and surfing through porn, I think I found a new career.” He looked up at me as I leaned against the doorframe and sneered. “You wish. Take a seat.” I considered mentioning how I’d staked out Sebastian’s workplace the other night, but I had the feeling John wasn’t in the mood for jokes this afternoon. “So what’s so urgent that I needed to get down here ASAP?” I asked as I sat down in front of him. “Those were your exact words, weren’t they?” My question earned me another sneer. “You know, sometimes you’re too much like that younger brother of yours, and that’s not a compliment.” Never a big fan of Stefan’s, John had more than once butted heads with him on jobs for Club X. My brother’s lack of respect for the job of PI and his bragging that anyone with an internet connection and the ability to use Google could do what John did pissed him off. Not that I blamed him. Stefan’s bragging had brought me to the brink of giving him a good beating more than once. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to step on your toes with my joking. I’m just in a good mood today,” I said, genuinely hoping to smooth over his hurt feelings. A good PI like John was worth his weight in gold. I didn’t want to lose him because I felt like busting ass. His angry expression softened a bit, and he seemed to study my face for a moment before asking, “Oh yeah? That’s not like you, Kane, so what’s up?” “Nothing. Just happy at home and happy at work. What more could a man ask for?” John looked around his dingy office and forced a smile. “I know just what you mean. Living the dream.” He didn’t go into it, but I had a feeling his life was anything but a dream since his wife left. Quickly, I changed the subject. “So what’s going on? Did you find out something about Sebastian Thorne?” Nodding, he said, “I did, and I hate to ruin your good day, but I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to tell you.” I thought back to the hour or so I’d spent with Sebastian and had to admit I wasn’t sure I’d be that unhappy at hearing the news that he wasn’t another of my father’s sons. I imagined Stefan would be disappointed, though. “Did you find out he’s not related to me?” John shook his head. “No, he is. I mean, you couldn’t tell that just by looking at him? By the way, I have to say whatever you and Stefan thought you were doing was the textbook definition of not slick, my friend. I was sitting in my car watching the whole thing. It had a real meta feeling to it, you know?” I hung my head to hide my embarrassment. “I hadn’t planned on approaching him, but you saw how fucked up he was. I couldn’t let him just drive away like that. He might have killed someone.” “You used to be part owner of a bar, weren’t you? How did you do that job and drive home all the drunks every night?” he asked, busting my balls now. “Funny. If you remember, I didn’t deal with the bar part. I dealt with the fantasy and sex part. No need

to drive guys home because they didn’t get off.” A smile crept onto John’s face. “Oh, the good old days. Not that I don’t love your swordfish at CK, but I think I miss the perks of working for you when you owned Club X.” My PI had enjoyed the offerings on my floor of the club a number of times and always left a happy man. Of course, that might have been a contributing factor in why his wife left him for another guy. “Well, we had to grow up someday. That life skirting the law could only last so long. We all knew Club X had an expiration date.” John’s eyes grew wide. “About that. Seems it might be in the March family DNA to want to walk that fine line with the cops. Your newest sibling’s hands are a bit dirty.” This was why I had kept everything about Sebastian away from Abbi and the kids and why I suspected Cash wanted nothing to do with finding some long lost brother of ours. Neither of us cared how hypocritical it seemed for the two former owners of a fantasy club to have no interest in getting into anything that had even the hint of legal problems. Having a wife and kids you adored did that to a man. A sick feeling settled into my stomach. I didn’t want to discard Sebastian because he was my brother, and there was dirty and then there was really dirty. I hoped he wasn’t the latter. “So what are we talking about here, John? A DUI or he likes to get high sometimes? Or something else?” With a look that made it seem like he shared my sick feeling, John grimaced. “Something else. Stupid twenty-something tricks or smoking a little weed wouldn’t make my face look like it does. No, he’s got himself involved in something a little worse. I don’t know all the details, but from what I can see, he and his friends are thieves. I’m guessing that’s how he affords to rent a house on a cook’s income.” “Thieves? Like knocking over gas station kind of thieves?” I asked, already hating how this was sounding. John chuckled. “No, he’s a little higher class than that. He and buddies stick to houses. A little B and E here and there can pay for a lot of stuff. I watched him and two friends hit one two nights ago.” “Fuck. I had hoped the fall-down drunk act was the worst of him.” “I’m guessing one of them poses as a pool guy or something so he can find a way in, and then when the coast is clear, he lets his friends in and they grab whatever they can before disappearing. The people who own the house come home to find they’ve been burgled and then later realize they don’t have a pool boy or a gardener or whatever anymore. It’s just clever enough to work for a few months, but he’s going to get caught and soon. If I can watch them pull a job, it won’t be long before the cops are onto them.” I hated to admit it, but Cash had been right all along. I didn’t want to give up on Sebastian, though. I knew what his life had been, no matter what the circumstances of it were. Growing up not knowing your father or knowing you had brothers wasn’t something he should have gone through. I lived it and it sucked. Maybe if we’d been around, he wouldn’t have gotten into stealing from people. Or maybe he was just a rotten fucker, even though he came from the same father the three of us did. “Do you want me to continue with this, Kane, or are you cutting your losses right here?” John asked, interrupting my thoughts about what type of person Sebastian Thorne really was. I wasn’t ready to walk away from him just yet. Standing, I said, “Keep on it for a little while longer. See what you can find out. Send me all the legal info, though. I want to know the details about who his mother is and those kinds of things, okay?” “Sure. I’ll get it all together and send it over later. Want me to send it to the restaurant, as usual?” I thought back to what I’d said to Abbi last night about involving her in this whole Sebastian thing, but things had changed. Knowing the way he lived his life could potentially hurt my family made it impossible

to have her with me on this. I’d just have to make her understand why I had to do things this way if she found out. CALLING STEFAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN on my plan for the rest of the afternoon. I knew he’d want in on anything having to do with Sebastian, regardless of what I found out from John about his extracurricular activities. But as much as Stefan wanted to know our new brother, I felt like I needed to go this alone until I found out how far gone the guy was. Even more, though, was the truth that Stefan had never had to know. He may not have had the relationship he wanted with our father, but he never doubted that he was Cassian March’s son a day in his life. He had no idea what the world felt like without that security. Whatever else Sebastian was, he and I were alike in that. And to me, that was enough to make him worth more than just one bad, drunken night and a negative report from John. After driving by CocoNut’s and not finding him there, I drove to his apartment and saw the car we’d seen in the parking lot. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to him or even what I was doing there, but hearing he was involved in something that would eventually get him sent to jail awakened some older brother feelings I’d never experienced before. I knocked on the front door and when he opened it, I couldn’t help see the similarity in how we looked. Except for a few minor differences, he was a younger version of me. As I stood there staring at him, I wondered if that’s what my son would look like years from now. Pushing all the sentimentality out of my head for the moment, I said, “Can I come in?” He looked me up and down and smiled. “You know, now that I’m sober, it’s pretty hard to miss.” “What?” “We could be twins. Well, if you weren’t like ten years older than me. My brothers and sisters don’t even look as much like me as you do. It’s freaking me out a little, to be honest. I’m sort of wondering if you’re me come from the future to tell me something that’s going to save my life.” “Not exactly, but how about you let me in and we talk?” I asked as I stepped toward him. “You sure? You move pretty much the same as I do too.” It was hard not to like him, even though he had a stupid sense of humor. “Trust me. I’m not from the goddamned future, okay?” Sebastian stepped aside to let me in and closed the door behind me. “Well, if you are, do me, I mean us, a favor and tell me who wins the next few Super Bowls and World Series because I think we should make some money off this whole thing. Since you’re future me, you’ll benefit too.” I turned to face him and looked directly into his dark blue eyes. “I’m not from the future. Enough with the jokes. I want to talk to you about something.” Shrugging, he plopped down into the chair and extended his arm to offer me a seat on the couch. “Well, since you aren’t future me that can only mean one of two things. You’re either my father or we have the same father.” His father? How old did this kid think I was? “What do you know about your father, who I’m not, obviously?” He shrugged again. “Not much. My mother said I looked like him, not that I think she knew him all too well. I got the feeling I was the result of a one night stand, but I don’t know for sure. Doesn’t really matter because here I am anyway. So we share the same baby daddy?” “Yeah, and if you can never call him that again, that would be great. We’re brothers, along with the guy I was here with the other night and another one you haven’t met yet.” “So? What does that mean?”

Christ, he reminded me of myself a few years back. If someone had come to me and announced he was my brother, I would have told him to go fuck himself and don’t let the door hit him on his way out. As he sat there looking at me with an expression that told me he was completely unimpressed by the news I’d just told him, I couldn’t help but be thankful he wasn’t more like who I used to be. “Well, what do you want it to mean?” Sebastian twisted his face for a moment and said, “I don’t know. No offense, dude, but you’re a stranger to me. I get the feeling you care about me being your brother, but since this is all new to me, I can’t honestly say I feel the same.” “Fair enough. I’m not here to invite you to Sunday dinner with a whole bunch of people you don’t know. I just wanted to let you know who you come from and that there are three other people like you.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “Okay. I guess since you obviously know more than I do about our father maybe you can tell me about him. What was he like? Was he the kind of guy who let you sit on his lap and read you stories or more of a badass kind of guy?” Too bad I didn’t know the answer to his question. Not a good start, for sure. “Well, I didn’t exactly know him growing up either.” Sebastian looked unimpressed by my answer. “I guess this guy got around. Four sons and he didn’t know either of us. Did he know the guy from the other night?” “Yeah. He and the other one were his sons by his wife.” “So three different mothers of four of us. Nice. Dad was a player. I’m guessing then he looked like us. No wonder he got so much ass.” Damn, he was cocky. I’d had enough of talking about our father and his sexual behavior. As much as I wanted Sebastian to feel like he had someone in me he could consider a brother, I was more concerned with trying to convince him to give up the stealing. Unsure how to bring it up, I went with what came naturally. “I know what you’re up to and how you’re making money, and it isn’t working at that restaurant.” His eyes widened for a moment, showing his surprise at my quick change of topic, but without missing a beat he said, “Oh yeah? You going to go all big brother on me and tell me I shouldn’t be doing that?” There was that cockiness again. Well, he wasn’t the only one who could play that game. “Yeah, I am. If I could find out about it with little effort, then you aren’t as slick as you think you are. You and your friends are going to get your asses thrown in jail if you don’t stop.” He stood up and walked over to the door. Opening it, he said, “Don’t let it hit you on your way out, big brother.” “I’m trying to help you here. Trust me. The mistakes you make today aren’t the kind you want following you for the rest of your life, and spending a few years in jail will follow you.” “You know, that other guy told me a little about you guys that night, and it seems like the pot calling the kettle black when you sit here telling me about being worried I’m going to get in trouble. You guys ran an illegal club when you were my age. That seems a whole lot worse than grabbing some stuff from a few houses. I’m not sure you have the moral high ground here.” Before I got the chance to try to explain how different the two circumstances were, I heard someone outside yell, “Thorne! I told you last time if you cheated me again I’d be coming for my due. Time to pay up!” Sebastian slammed the door and locked it. “It’s been great talking to you, dude, but I’d suggest you get the hell out of here. Use the window.” “What?”

He began to explain something about the guy outside being a former partner in his little heist scheme, but the banging on the door made it hard to get the whole story. Not that it mattered. I had a feeling what I’d been warning Sebastian about a few seconds ago was about to come true right in front of me. I looked over at the window and knew I should go out that way and leave him to his just desserts. The problem was I had just told him I was his brother, and what kind of brother would I be if I left him there to get his ass kicked? Even if he deserved it. “Just open the door. I’m sure we can talk this out, but on the off chance we can’t, don’t talk too much so you don’t piss the guy off.” He did as I told him to and his former partner marched into his living room demanding the money he was owed. Ignoring everything I told him, Sebastian began rambling on with a boatload of bullshit even I knew was lies. The guy, a skinny blond kid who hadn’t even grown to six foot and had wild eyes, shook his head rapidly, obviously unhappy with every word he was hearing. “Shut the fuck up, Sebastian! You owe me, and I’m going to get my money now!” “It’s not like that, Rick. We weren’t cheating you out of anything. It just takes time to cash in the goods. We have to be careful. And the reason we didn’t include you in on the other night was because we thought you were busy with your girlfriend. We didn’t want to cause you any more hassles.” For a moment, it looked like Rick wanted to believe what was coming out of Sebastian’s mouth, but after the words filtered through his brain, it was clear he wasn’t buying the bullshit line he was being fed. He pulled a gun from behind his back and pointed it straight at Sebastian’s head. “The money. Now.” Terrified, Sebastian put his hands up in front of him and backed away toward me. “Whoa, whoa! Rick! Dude, I don’t have it. I can get it for you, but I don’t have it right now. Just give me a couple days.” His begging had no effect on Rick, who continued to point the gun at his head. “Now. The whole amount or the last thing you steal is a look at me shooting you.” Sebastian looked over at me and silently asked for help, so I calmly asked, “How much does he owe you, Rick? Maybe I have it so we can settle all this right now.” He stared at me in confusion like he hadn’t noticed I was in the room until that very moment. “Two grand.” I knew I didn’t have that kind of money on me, but maybe the five hundred or so I had in my wallet would pacify him enough to make him put the gun away. Hoping it would, I reached into my back pocket to get my money and then in a flash the gun went off.

Chapter Ten

Abbi NO MATTER HOW FAST I drove, I felt like I wasn’t going to reach the hospital in time. Over and over, the words the man said echoed in my head. “Mrs. Jackson, there’s been an accident. Your husband is en route to Lakeland General. He’s been shot.” My heart raced as my brain fixed on the last word the officer had said. Shot. Kane had been shot. I hadn’t waited for him to tell me anything else. Nothing he could say would make me feel any better, so I hung up and quickly put Liam into the car as I called the one person I knew could help no matter what. I didn’t know what else to do. I had to get to Kane before it was too late. Tears rolled down my face as I tore up the road. What if I didn’t get to him in time? The last words I’d said to him that morning were so meaningless. Have a good day. It’s what I said to him every morning when he left the house for work. Worthless words I’d gotten so used to mindlessly repeating, like asking someone how they are when you don’t really care. I didn’t want those to be the last words I ever said to the man who’d given me nearly seven of the happiest years of my life. I needed to tell him how much I loved him. I needed him to know that no matter what, I loved him more every day. That just the thought of him gone from my life made my chest ache from emptiness. That I didn’t know how I’d go on without him. My phone rang, and I answered it, barely able to speak through my sobs. Alexandria’s sweet voice said, “Abbi, I’ll be at the hospital in just a few minutes. I’ll take care of Liam and get Annalea from school so I can take them back to my house. I called Stefan and Cassian, and they’re on their way too. Honey, I want you to stay positive, okay? Kane is strong and he’s not going to give up on you and those two babies.” As tears blurred my eyes, I turned right into the hospital parking lot. “What if he’s not strong enough, Alexandria? I don’t know what I’m going to do if he…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. “He is. Of all my sons, he’s the strongest. He’s had to be.” The memory of all Kane had gone through growing up and how much he’d suffered made me even sadder. After all that, to be taken now that he’d found real happiness as a father was unfair. I couldn’t bear to think of it. “I’m here now,” I said as I jammed the car into park and jumped out to get Liam from his car seat. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, honey. Don’t give up on him yet, Abbi. Don’t.” THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR’S WORDS hit my ears but got lost in the haze of sorrow that had taken over my brain. I held Liam tightly to me, desperate for some piece of Kane to stay with me as the man in front of me said things about gunshot wounds and surgery to remove the bullet from his chest. Gently, he touched my shoulder and gave me a sad smile. “As soon as he’s out of surgery, we’ll let you know, Mrs. Jackson.” I took a step back and felt the plastic seat of a waiting room chair hit the back of my knees. Sitting

down, I tried to understand how any of this had happened. Where had Kane been at one o’clock in the afternoon? I had just gotten a text from him a few hours earlier telling me he’d be busy all day but he couldn’t wait to see me when he got home. What had he been busy doing that got him shot? Liam cooed in my arms and tugged at the bottom of my hair, so I looked down and pressed a smile onto my face. He had no idea of the nightmare we’d been thrust into. “What’s Mommy’s little guy want? Grandma’s coming any minute, honey, and you’re going to take a little ride with her back to her house with Annalea. I promise Mommy will come just as soon as she can.” I stared into my son’s dark blue eyes so similar to his father’s and struggled to hold back the tears. The spitting image of Kane, he seemed to sense I needed him to be an angel and simply smiled up at me, nearly breaking my heart. What if Kane never had the chance to see his son grow up? What if he never saw that precious smile again? Alexandria arrived and sat down, wrapping her arms around me. The fear of losing Kane was written all over her face. “Oh, honey. Did you talk to the doctors? What did they say?” Holding back the tears as best as I could, I told her what the doctor had told me. “We won’t know anything until he’s out of surgery. He was shot in the chest, Alexandria. What if it got his heart?” Just saying those words made my tears come, and they began rolling down my cheeks. Burying my face in Liam’s shoulder, I sobbed, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” “No more talking like that, Abbi. I told you. Kane is strong. A single bullet isn’t going to take him from you and those beautiful babies.” Liam’s tiny fingers gripped my neck, holding me to him, and I remembered the first time he clutched Kane’s hand as a newborn. He’d joked about him having a tough grip, and I’d reminded him that he was only three weeks old. Kane had fallen in love with him the moment the nurse placed him in his arms minutes after he was born. Unlike with Annalea, he was full term and healthy as a horse, crying like he had the lungs of a grown man as he lay in his father’s arms for the first time. I’d never forget how happy Kane had been at that moment. I wanted the chance to see him that happy again. And now he lay on an operating table with a bullet in his chest, fighting for his life, but why? What had happened? I lifted my head and saw Alexandria’s eyes full of sadness. “Why would anyone do this? Why wasn’t he at work?” She shook her head like she didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know, honey. I’m hoping maybe Cassian will be able to tell us something when he gets here.” “Did he know why Kane wasn’t at the restaurant?” “No. He was as shocked as I was when he heard what happened.” I sat there as Liam played with my hair and thought about how sure Kane had been that this kind of thing was behind us once he left Club X. “We’re boring married people with kids now, angel. All that is in the past,” he’d say when I worried about him leaving CK late at night. How could I know the danger wouldn’t be in the dark as he walked to his car but in broad daylight on a sunny fall afternoon? Cassian walked down the hallway toward us with the saddest look I’d ever seen. He stopped in front of me, and Alexandria stood to hug her oldest son. “Cassian, I’m so glad you got here. Do you know anything about what happened?” Frowning, he shook his head. “No, Mom. He told me he had some errands to run after we talked first thing this morning. I think he mentioned going to see someone at the produce company we use because we’ve been having problems with the deliveries for the past few weeks. Do they know where this

happened?” I looked up at him and answered for her. “The police told me when I got here that it happened in Dade City and that they had some guy in custody. They said something about a witness too, but I don’t think I was paying close enough attention.” Cassian leaned down and kissed me softly on the top of the head. “Let me go find someone and see what’s going on. We need to find out what happened. What about Kane? Is he in surgery?” Nodding, I pulled Liam closer as I answered, “He’s still in surgery. They said they’d come find me when he got out.” “Well, then let me find out what’s going on with the police.” I reached out and squeezed his hand as my tears threatened to overwhelm me again. “Thank you.” “I’ll be back. Stay positive. He’s tough, Abbi. Kane’s going to be fine.” As Cassian walked away and Alexandria repeated what he said, I prayed to God they were right. I didn’t know what I’d do if they weren’t. CASSIAN RETURNED WITH THE NEWS that Kane had been shot with a .38 at close range by a man named Rick Branton. The police didn’t have any more details, but they suspected it might be a drug deal gone bad. “That’s crazy, Cassian,” I said. Alexandria took the baby from my arms, and I began to pace back and forth across the tile floor in the waiting room. “Kane wouldn’t be involved with anything like that. No way.” He shook his head angrily. “I told them that. They don’t know what happened, but they told me it happened on Chestnut Street in Dade City.” I stopped dead and spun around to face him. “Chestnut Street? Where?” “I don’t know. Why? Does he know someone there?” Stefan joined us and hugged me to him before answering his brother’s question. “Sebastian Thorne lives on Chestnut Street in Dade City. That’s where we were the other night. Did he have something to do with this?” Cassian seemed confused. “I don’t understand. What would Kane be doing at Sebastian’s house in the middle of the day and why would someone there with him have a gun?” Nobody said anything to answer his questions, so finally I said, “He wanted to tell him the truth. I know that. I know he wanted Sebastian to know he had brothers in you guys.” A sheepish look came over Stefan’s face, and Cassian snapped at him. “Do you see what’s happened because of all of this digging up the past? You couldn’t just leave well enough alone? Why couldn’t you and Kane just leave it be?” Quickly, Alexandria jumped in and stopped him. “Your brothers had good intentions, Cassian. I know why Kane would want to let Sebastian know about you three.” “He didn’t want him to not know where he came from,” I said quietly. “I think he saw a lot of himself in Sebastian.” “Well, I don’t,” Cassian said angrily. “All I see is trouble and that’s all I’ve ever seen from the minute Kane and Stefan brought it up. But if Sebastian was there, I want to know if he was shot too.” He stormed away, and Stefan took me in his arms again to hug me tightly to him. “I’m so sorry, Abbi. I never dreamed anything like this would happen. I just wanted to find out about this guy. That’s all.” I let myself cry again and said through the tears, “I don’t blame you, Stefan. Kane was going to find out about him whether you or Cassian wanted to. He’d already made up his mind.” “I swear we didn’t think anything like this would happen, Abbi.” Stefan pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Kane would never put himself in danger of being taken away from you and the kids, even for a

brother.” “Yes, he would,” I said with a smile, knowing what family meant to Kane. “He just wouldn’t think he’d get hurt.” I returned to pacing until I saw Cash walking towards us a few minutes later with a look of rage on his face. Unsure I wanted to know the cause, fearing he’d found out that something had happened to Kane, I still needed to ask what was wrong. “Did something happen? Did you hear something about Kane?” My heart sank in the millisecond between my asking and his answering. My head began to swim as the horrifying thought of Kane gone from the world sunk in. My legs began to give out as I collapsed into one of the waiting room chairs. Cash rushed to my side and quickly explained, “No, I heard nothing. That’s not what I went to find out about.” I listened to his words and slowly realized he hadn’t just told me the worst news I could ever hear. “I saw your face and you looked so furious. I just thought…” My words trailed off as I began to sob, and Cash hugged me to him. “No, it’s okay. I think he’s still in surgery. Don’t give up on him, Abbi. He’s strong. He’ll make it through this.” I tried to believe him, to believe that everything would be okay, but a tiny, terrible thought weaved its way through my mind. What if this was it? What if after everything he’d been through this was the one thing he couldn’t overcome? Cash’s body tensed against mine, so I looked up to see why and there stood Sebastian just a few feet away. He looked so much like Kane. I wiped my eyes and sat up straight in my seat. “How did this happen, Sebastian?” That’s all I wanted to know. How did the man I love end up getting shot while he was at his house? He hung his head and said softly, “I’m so sorry. I never thought Rick would do anything like that. It all happened so fast. I couldn’t stop it.” “Rick? You know the person who shot Kane? This wasn’t a robbery?” Sebastian lifted his head and nodded. I couldn’t believe this. One of Sebastian’s friends had shot Kane? “I want you to tell me why your friend Rick shot my husband,” I said so loudly that everyone in the waiting area turned and looked at me. My voice frightened Liam and he started crying, so Alexandria hurried out of the room with him. I waited for Sebastian’s answer, but he said nothing and simply looked down at his hands folded in front of him. I stood up and screamed, “Tell me! Tell me why this happened!” Cash and Stefan moved to stand on either side of me, and Sebastian shook his head. “I got myself into something I shouldn’t have and Rick came looking for money I owed him. I didn’t have it, so Kane was reaching into his pocket to give him the money he had. Rick must have thought he was reaching for a gun and that’s when he shot him.” Stunned by what he said, I stared at his face, suddenly hating everything about him. I wanted to pound my fists against his chest to make him feel as bad as I felt. I wanted him to know how much this hurt. Cash took a step toward him and snapped, “Got yourself into something you shouldn’t have? Let me guess. Drugs. Some fucking drug deal went bad and now Kane is fighting for his life.” “No, it wasn’t anything like that. Rick and I had been doing some break-in jobs, but Kane was trying to talk me out of doing any more. That’s what he was doing at my place today. Trying to convince me to stop.” “Like that makes it any better?” I screamed. “You’ve been nothing but trouble from the minute Kane

started with all this. He worried you’d be dangerous to us so he lied to me about you. He continued to try to find out about you even though one of his brothers wanted no part of it. And what did he get for all of it?” Sebastian began to say he was sorry again, but I didn’t want to hear it anymore. “Don’t! Your apologies won’t change the fact that Kane got shot when it should have been you. Go away! I don’t want to see you ever again!” My outburst shocked him. Horrified by what I’d said, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Finally, he turned around and walked away. I didn’t care that I’d hurt his feelings. He’d gotten the man I love hurt.

Chapter Eleven

Sebastian RACING TOWARD THE DOOR TO get the hell out of that damned hospital, I tried to put everything Kane’s wife had said out of my mind. I wasn’t to blame for Kane getting shot. I never asked him to show up at my place to lecture me on my fucking life. He had some kind of hard on for being my brother, but I didn’t need him or those other two in my life. Not that I was happy about him getting hurt because of me. I wasn’t. He’d been a pretty decent guy, overall. Well, after that night he and Stefan found me drunk and brought me home. That night he’d been sort of a hard ass dick, but even that didn’t make me happy that he was lying on that operating table with his chest cut open fighting to live. If only Rick hadn’t found out about the other night. I stopped just outside the doors to catch my breath and inhaled some asshole’s most recent drag of cigarette. Turning to see a guy with a long, greasy ponytail standing way too fucking close to the building, I barked, “Can’t you fucking read? There are sick people here. Like they need that shit in their lungs. If you want to kill yourself slowly, do it fifty feet away where you’re supposed to be.” He shot back with some bullshit response about it being a free country as he began to walk toward the parking lot, but I didn’t hear most of it. I didn’t ask for his opinion on how much the world didn’t want to deal with his secondhand smoke. I took another deep breath to clear my head, and at least this one wasn’t full of nicotine and shit that would give me lung cancer. Finding a bench away from the door, I sat down and closed my eyes, trying to push this whole day out of my mind. Someone sat down next to me and said, “Abbi’s just really scared.” I looked over and saw Stefan. “I know. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” He nodded and gave me a weak smile. “Kane’s tough. He’ll pull through.” A twinge of regret pinched at me. I barely knew either of them, but this guy was sitting here with me trying to make me feel better, even though I probably didn’t deserve it. “Why don’t you think I’m public enemy number one like they do in there?” Stefan blew the air out of his lungs and shrugged. “I know how much letting you know we existed meant to Kane. Means to Kane.” I turned toward him, needing some answers about this whole brother thing Kane had going on. “Why is that exactly?” A big smile spread across his face. “You have to understand Kane isn’t like me or Cash.” “I know. He told me he had a different mother.” “I guess you’d call her different. She pretty much tortured him his entire life because he had our father for a dad. She wasn’t exactly mother of the year. Kane’s mother wanted him to be with them, but well, our father wasn’t exactly father of the year either. So Kane got the worst of both worlds. “Fuck.” The guy had gotten both barrels of crap growing up. “Yeah. It was pretty bad, from what he’s told me. She took out her anger on him. She never let him forget his father didn’t want them. I mean, she named him Kane, for fuck’s sake. You know, like Cain and Abel. He had the misfortune of looking like our dad, so that didn’t make things any better for him growing

up either.” Just hearing about Kane’s childhood made me depressed. I’d never known anything about my father, but that was better than hearing shit about him every day of my life. “So that’s why he was so jacked up about finding out about me?” “Yeah. I think he sees himself in you.” Since Stefan seemed to be in a confessing kind of mood, I asked, “So how did you three get so close if he’s from a different mother?” “My father, I mean our father, made it a requirement in his will that if we wanted to inherit anything we needed to work together at a business and make it successful. So the three of us started a club, and once it became a success, we got our inheritances.” Now I was even more curious about this father I never knew about. “Inheritance?” Stefan nodded, running his hands through his hair. “You know, I think that’s another reason Kane was so into finding you. I’m sorry our father never did anything for you. As I said, he wasn’t father of the year. In fact, I’d venture a guess that only my brother Cash has anything really great to say about him.” “Cash? I’m guessing he’s the one who definitely doesn’t like me,” I said, remembering how angry the other guy was inside. “Yeah, that’s Cash. He’s the oldest of the three of us. Cash got my father’s name and all his attention growing up. He was the heir, and I was the spare.” “And Kane and I were the bastards he didn’t give a fuck about.” For a moment, it looked like what I said pissed Stefan off, but finally he nodded in agreement. “I guess that’s an accurate description of it all. Cash was the apple of my father’s eye. He looked like him, had his name, and my father always let him know how much he thought of him. Cash was the golden child. I was too much like my mother. She’s the woman inside with Abbi.” Now I was really confused. “Wait a second. Your mother is in there with Abbi worrying about the son that her husband had with some woman?” Chuckling, he patted me on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family. It must look pretty fucked up from an outsider’s point of view, I guess, but yeah, she loves Kane as much as she loves Cash and me.” I tried to imagine how that worked but couldn’t. “No offense, but yeah, that seems fucked up.” “That’s my mother for you. She loved my father so she accepted how he was. Now she accepts the people who came from that.” We sat there outside the hospital entrance for a few minutes saying nothing until I had to ask why he wanted to get to know me. “So I know why Kane was curious about me, but why were you?” Stefan looked off in the distance and thought about my question for a while before turning to look at me. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure. I knew Kane was all about it and Cash wanted nothing to do with finding you, but I wasn’t sure one way or another. It was my girlfriend who convinced me to at least find out. I figured I had nothing to lose.” “You don’t mind not being the youngest anymore?” “I’m my mother’s youngest and always have been, so that’s not a problem. I figured my father had other kids out there after me anyway. And it’s not like I ever got anything from being his second kid, to be honest. I was the spare.” Something in the way Stefan kept saying that made me feel like he’d had some of that same shittiness Kane had lived through growing up. This Cassian March guy had created a lot of grief for people in his life, it seemed. “I have to tell you it’s freaking me out a little knowing that I look so much like these two other people. I joked, halfway serious, with Kane when he came over today that he was me from the future. You know,

like you see on TV. I think your brother could be me from the future but really pissed off.” Laughing, Stefan nodded. “Cash isn’t so bad. He’s just a different kind of person from you and me. He and Kane are serious people. We’re not. Our father was serious like them.” “I’m guessing it’s nice to look like your own person like you do, though,” I said as I studied how different Stefan looked from the three of us. He stood from the bench and looked down at me. “Yes and no. It pretty much just makes me odd man out. I better get back in there, but I wanted to make sure you knew this whole finding you thing meant a lot to Kane.” Stefan frowned and said, “Means a lot to him.” “I hope you’re right about him being tough enough to handle this. I never meant for anything like this to happen. I wish Kane had listened to me when I told him to slip out the window when Rick got there.” “That’s not like him. Kane’s thing is saving people. Always has been. It might be the only good thing that came from growing up with that mother of his.” Stefan left me sitting there wishing I’d gotten to know Kane better before all this happened. I still didn’t know if I wanted anything to do with having three brothers all of a sudden, but from what I’d learned about Kane, I liked him. I’d never had a big brother. I didn’t need saving, but it might have been cool to know someone had my back. But even if he survived, I doubted he’d want anything to do with me now. Not when his wife and one of his brothers blamed me for what happened. It was nice while it lasted, though.

Chapter Twelve

Abbi THE DOCTOR CAME OUT AFTER what seemed like forever and let us know Kane had come through surgery okay but the following days would tell how he would do long term. The bullet did a lot of damage, even nicking his heart, but the doctor believed they’d found all of it, so now we just had to pray his body could do what it had to so he could be up and around again. I smiled as he spoke the words, hearing them without really hearing what he was saying. All I could think of was Kane lying in that bed as he fought to stay with the ones he loved. I knew he would fight, but would he be strong enough now to overcome what that bullet did? When they finally took me to see him, the shock of him lying in that hospital bed with all those tubes and wires attached to him almost made me burst into tears. I’d watched him sleeping many times as he lay next to me in bed, still except for his chest rising and falling with each breath. Even asleep, Kane always looked strong and powerful. But now, his power looked like it had been sapped from him, leaving the outside of Kane intact but not the inside. I sat down at his bedside and took his hand in mine. I loved the feel of his long fingers intertwined with my much smaller ones. Their harshness touching my softness always struck me as something memorable. The nurses left me alone with him, so I did what I always did when I was worried about us. I talked. I didn’t know if he understood what I was saying or even heard me, but if there was the slightest chance he did, I needed him to know I was there with him. “Kane, I’m right here. You’re not alone, and I promise I won’t leave here until you open your eyes and tell me you’re going to fine. Liam and Annalea are with Alexandria, so you don’t have to worry. After you and me, there’s no one we can trust more with our babies than their grandmother.” I stopped for a moment, the emotion of the moment choking me. The last time the kids had been out at Alexandria’s, Kane and I had enjoyed a rare night of romance. Now days later, they were back at her house, and we were here in a hospital as he recovered from being shot. How quickly things could change. Taking a deep breath, I pushed aside my sadness and continued to talk to him about all the things he’d miss if he didn’t survive this. “You know, when I was out in the waiting room with Liam, I was looking at him as he played with my hair and realized for the first time that he’s so much like you with that. You’ve always loved playing with my hair. Do you remember that first night at your apartment on top of Club X? My hair was much shorter then, but as I lay in your arms and drifted off to sleep, feeling safer than I’d felt in so long, you played with the ends of my hair. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I loved that.” Tears welled in my eyes at the memory of that night. So sullen and dark, still he saved me from yet another mistake I’d made in my life. He took me to that shabby apartment of his, and there in those rooms that reminded me of a cell the first time I saw them, he wrapped his arms around me and protected me from the world. I’d been in love with him since that very night. He was everything to me. My husband. The father of

my children. The man I adored more than even mere words could express. We’d been through hell and back since that night, and through it all, I believed no matter what the rest of the world saw in this man, they were wrong. He wasn’t cold or cruel or even angry. He should have been after all he’d had to endure growing up, but he wasn’t. Beneath that gruff exterior beat the heart of a man who could love harder and more intensely than anyone I’d ever met. And now that heart had been invaded by a bullet over some stupid fool’s mistakes. Anger bubbled up inside me. I hated Sebastian for Kane getting hurt. I didn’t know if it was right, but it didn’t matter as I sat there watching a respirator move my husband’s chest up and down. I couldn’t focus on that now, though. I needed to stay positive for him, so I kissed his rough knuckles and forced away my feelings about his brother in favor of remembering the times Kane and I had shared. “Do you remember that night when Annalea was three when we all drove up to that place in Georgia because you couldn’t believe I’d never had real Georgia peaches? You made Annalea promise not to tell me where we were going. We piled into the Mustang, and I thought we were going to the beach since you’d mentioned it earlier that day. Annalea giggled practically the whole way there as I kept asking where we were going and you kept telling me to trust you. I swear, I thought she was going to explode by the time we reached the farm.” I looked up at his face and saw his dark eyelashes still resting on his cheeks. His stony expression hadn’t changed, but I had to continue. I couldn’t let him think he was alone there in that cold hospital room. “Those were the best peaches I’ve ever had in my life. But what was even better was the smile on your face as you watched me eat my first one. The juices rolled down my chin onto my shirt, and I tried to mop it all up with a napkin, and there you were smiling at me as I made a mess of myself on my first real Georgia peach. Do you remember that, Kane? I’ll never forget how happy my eating that peach made you.” I wanted to see that smile again. I wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes of his light up when he looked at me. I wanted to hear him tell me how much he loved me as he held me in his arms. As the sadness began to overwhelm me, I let myself cry as I sat there holding his hand and wishing for him to come back to me. “You have to get through this, Kane. We have so much to look forward to. Our whole lives are in front of us, baby. I can’t do this without you. Who’s going to intimidate Annalea’s boyfriends when she starts dating? Who’s going to teach Liam how to play football and baseball or whatever sport he wants to play when he gets older?” My tears dropped onto his forearm as I thought about all the important times he’d miss if he left us now. It wasn’t just that I needed him for our kids, though. I needed him for me. From that moment he held me in his arms as we lay on the floor of his apartment, I knew I didn’t want to be without him ever again. We’d spent months apart when I was pregnant with Annalea, but since then, he’d been by my side protecting me and loving me as the most important part of my life. I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost that. “Kane, I need you to know I can’t imagine life without you. Life without that crooked smile you give me when you’re not really listening to what I’m saying but don’t want me to know. I know, but I like that smile anyway. Or life without hearing you say my name when you crawl into bed at night. That deep way you say it like it’s the one word you’ve been waiting all day to speak and then pull me close to be next to you as we sleep. Please don’t make me live without those things. Please don’t make me live without you. Don’t leave me, Kane.” I should have been used to him silently listening to me as I spoke. I’d always been the talker in the relationship. Kane was more interested in showing how he felt instead of telling anyone. At that moment, I

would have given anything for him to say just one simple word. Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander back to all those days and nights that made up our life. Unlike in books and movies, the time two people spend together isn’t all fireworks and incredible moments. Most of our time together consisted of the regular events of life—the comings and goings that happened every workday, the rote answers we gave to the same old questions to let each other know that amidst the commonplace events of our lives we loved one another. The small smile he put on when he wanted to show me he was listening to whatever I was saying but really wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep with me in his arms. My way of gently stroking the top of his hand when he was angry about something that told him I knew his rage wasn’t directed at me but at the rest of the world. How when work at the restaurant got to be too much he’d come home to me to rest his head on my shoulder as we lay in bed and listen to my stories of how Annalea and Liam did something so incredibly cute that day. We had changed from the people we were when we first met all those years ago at Club X, and to some we surely would be seen as boring, but it was those small gestures from both of us that made our life together so dear to me. As I thought about everything we shared, my favorite memory of our time together surfaced in my mind. When I became pregnant with Liam, Kane had promised that pregnancy would be different than my first. I knew he felt guilty about the time apart with Annalea, but he didn’t have to be. I understood the demons he fought every day then. I knew them well and hated them, but I didn’t blame him. So every day he made sure I knew how happy he was that I was carrying his child again. I’d never felt so loved in my life. And when the day came for Liam to finally arrive, it was Kane who was by my side when that precious soul made his entrance into the world. Exhausted but happy, I watched as he took our son into his arms and his eyes filled with tears as he first looked at him. “You have a son, Mr. Jackson. Meet your little boy,” the nurse said as she handed him to his father. Never one for saying much, he simply stared at the tiny human in his hold and smiled. Curious to know what he thought, I asked, “Does he look like me or you?” Kane tilted Liam toward me and beamed his happiness. With his dark hair and blue eyes, he looked just like his father. “I think this one got my genes,” he joked. “We never decided on a boy’s name,” I said as he came around the bed to show me my son. “What are we going to call him?” He didn’t take his eyes off him but shook his head. “I have no idea. All I know is he’s beautiful, Abbi.” I looked at the incredible human being we’d made from love and leaned my cheek against Kane’s arm. “Liam. Liam Alexander Jackson.” “Liam, this is your mom. She’s the person who showed me I deserved love and all the great things that come with it. She’s one of a kind and you’re lucky to have her as your mother. Never forget that.” I looked up at Kane and smiled as he handed the baby to me. “I love you. You know that?” He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips and then kissed Liam on the forehead. “I do, and I love you, angel.” “I hope he grows up to be just like his father,” I said as I looked down at our son. “And I hope he has a lot of his mother in him.” I lifted my head to look up at Kane now as he lay in that hospital bed and saw that man who saved me

when I desperately needed it. He was scarred and broken still from all those years growing up, but the parts of him I loved the most came from the pain he’d suffered. It had made him someone whose love was gentle and steadfast, exactly the kind of love he’d never felt when he was a child. If only I could save him now, but as usual, he was the one who had to be strong. I prayed to God he could be.

Chapter Thirteen

Cassian THE DRIVE HOME FROM THE hospital flew by in a blur as I went back and forth between hoping Kane would be okay and hating this new brother of mine for wreaking havoc on my family. Fucking kid! I knew nothing good would come from searching out another of my father’s bastards. By the time I reached the condo, my stomach had twisted itself into knots over this whole damn thing. I needed to calm down or Olivia and the baby would be the ones who paid for that asshole kid’s mistake. I was too emotional, but I couldn’t help it. Kane was more than just my brother. He was one of the few people in the world I truly cared about. Olivia sat waiting for me, and as soon as I got through the door, I saw the look of concern in her eyes. “How is he, Cash? I tried calling Stefan and your mother when you didn’t answer your phone, but all I got were their voicemails.” I poured myself a stiff drink and downed it quickly before pouring another glass of scotch. “Sorry. I turned it onto silent at the hospital and must have forgotten to change it back when I left.” She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me in an embrace I needed so badly. “Oh, honey. He’s going to be okay. I just know it. Kane’s got everything in the world to live for. He’ll pull through.” Hanging my head, I let it drop onto her shoulder as I silently prayed she was right. “He made it through surgery, but now we’ll have to see how he does in the next few days. The bullet hit his heart, so the doctor’s concerned that there might be irreparable damage.” I heard her gasp at the news. Pulling me to her, she said quietly, “I’m so sorry, honey.” I didn’t want to hear anyone’s apologies. I wanted my brother to be okay. I wanted him to be out of that hospital bed and back at the restaurant with me like he should have been that day. And I was fucking pissed he couldn’t do any of that and might never be able to again. Backing away from her, I shook my head. “This should have never happened. If only he hadn’t gone searching for that goddamned brother of ours. I knew it was a fucking mistake.” “It was important to Kane that he got to know him, Cash. You weren’t going to change his mind from that. You know him.” Suddenly, I couldn’t stop my anger from exploding out of me. I didn’t want to hear any more talk about how much Kane wanted to find out about Sebastian. I should have done more to stop him. “Don’t use the past tense, Olivia! He’s not dead!” My words echoed off the walls of the condo, surprising her. Hurt by my outburst, she frowned and said, “I didn’t mean to act like there was no hope, Cash. I’m sorry.” Christ, I was lashing out at the one person who loved me no matter what. She began to cry, so I took her in my arms and let her sob against me like I should. I was her husband. It was my duty to be there for her when everything in the world seemed to be going wrong. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I didn’t mean to yell like that. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby.” “I’m afraid too, Cash,” she said through her tears. “I love your brothers like they’re my own. My heart is broken over this.” I cradled her face, pressing my forehead to hers. “I know, and I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I’m just so angry about this whole Sebastian thing.”

Olivia looked into my eyes in that way that never failed to calm me. “He’s going to be okay.” Taking a deep breath, I let it out, wishing it would take all my fears with it. But that didn’t happen. “What if Kane can’t pull through? He’s come so far from where he was when our father forced us to work together. For him to lose everything over this…” My emotions began to spin out of control. They swung from anger to sadness and then out of the blue I began to laugh, as if anything about this whole thing was funny at all. The look on Olivia’s face showed how horrified she was by my behavior. “What are you laughing about?” “My father. Wherever he is, he’s just where he’s always been when trouble happens. Nowhere to be found. He fathers all of us without a thought, and then he goes and dies. On top of that, then we get to find out that he wants to be our father from the afterlife and make the three of us work together. Pure Cassian March bullshit.” “Cash, are you okay?” Olivia asked as I downed the rest of my second scotch. I had just gotten started. “Stefan and I could barely stand each other when he died, and he thought throwing another person into the mix was a good idea. I remember the first time I saw Kane. It was like his face screamed, ‘I’m a March.’ But he wasn’t. He looked like my father, just like I did, but I was a March. He was the child my father had from cheating on my mother.” I stopped as my mind whirled with memories of how many times I heard my mother cry herself to sleep waiting for my father to return at night, knowing he was out with some woman. And then to add to the indignity, he couldn’t even be bothered to make sure he didn’t father any more fucking kids. “And I didn’t even have it the worst. Stefan had spent his life trying to make my father happy, to make him see that he had another son other than me. He never did. And then in death, he made sure Stefan understood how much he didn’t fucking care by giving Kane part of his money. I’ve never told Stefan this, Olivia, but I understood why he was so angry for so long. Part of it was my fault, but then Kane came along and it was like having two versions of our father forever lording over him. No wonder he hated the two of us all those years.” Gently stroking my arm, Olivia quietly said, “You’re upset. I know. It’s going to be okay.” I shook my head. “No, but we’ve never been okay. Thanks to my father, we’ve always been fucked up. Cash, the perfect son because he didn’t dare be anything else. Stefan, the perpetual lost boy because his father never gave a damn about him. And Kane, the child he didn’t even bother to own up to until it was too late.” My chest hurt from everything I was feeling. The anger. The rage. The sadness and fear. All of it pressed down on me like a weight I feared would never leave. “Honey, maybe we should get you something to eat since you’re probably starving and I think those two drinks are having an effect on you?” I waved her off, needing to say what was on my mind, even if she didn’t understand what I meant and even if I sounded like a fucking madman. “Now after all that we’ve been through, my father has his hand in more pain for us. Another son. Like we need another brother. Of course, Kane wanted to find out about him. For all that tough façade he has, inside he’s still that kid whose mother emotionally beat him up every day of his life because of who his father was. He’s still that bastard Cassian March didn’t claim. I should have known that one day he’d want to find Sebastian.” “You couldn’t have stopped him, Cash.” I turned to face her and winced. “I should have, though. Do you know how long I’ve known about the

other ones? It feels like all my life I’ve known Stefan and I weren’t the only kids he had. For me, it was easy not to think of them. I didn’t want to go through everything we went through when Kane came into our lives.” “But that turned out good for all three of you. Maybe this thing with Sebastian could turn out good too.” “Yeah, because it’s gone swimmingly so far. He’s a fall down drunk and a thief who got Kane shot because he owed some guy money he cheated him out of. Hell, he may be more like my father than any of us, Olivia.” She pulled me to her and hugged me, probably worried I was going to spin out of control at any minute. Maybe I would. I didn’t know how to handle what was happening with Kane. I’d gone from resenting him, to tolerating him, to liking the son of a bitch at times, to honestly loving him like a brother. I didn’t know how to deal with the real possibility that tomorrow he might not be here anymore. And that it would be just Stefan and me again because there was no way in hell I was ever going to accept Sebastian as my brother. I didn’t care that he looked like my father or had his DNA swirling inside him. “It’s going to be okay, Cash,” she said as she softly ran her hands over my back. “He’s going to be okay.” But what if he wasn’t? “I don’t know what to do, Olivia. I’m angry, sad, and scared to death all at the same time. I wasn’t even like this when Kane got arrested.” She leaned away from me and smiled, gently stroking the side of my face. “Well, then you knew what to do. You got the lawyer to do his job, threw money at the problem, and waited for it to be solved.” “That’s me, huh? Shallow prick who solves problems by tossing money at them?” I asked as I hung my head. “No, that’s not who you are, but then you had a way of fixing the problem. That’s who you are, Cash. You handle things, but now you can’t. Now you have to leave it up to Kane to fix this. You don’t think he will?” I closed my eyes and thought about Abbi and those two beautiful kids of his. “If there’s a way for him to get past this and be with Abbi, Annalea, and Liam, I think he’s going to fight like he’s never fought for anything before in his life. I’m just worried there is no way, that the second that bullet entered his body, he had all his choices taken away from him, and for what?” It always came back to that question. Kane had possibly given up everything for some guy who he shared a father with. A father who never fucking cared enough to be there for either one of them. Olivia softly kissed my lips and whispered, “For family. It’s why all three of you brothers do nearly everything.” “Ironic, isn’t it? We come from the world’s worst father, yet we all value family enough to risk everything for it.” “Your father may have been the world’s worst, but your mother is pretty damn terrific. You get your love of family from her, Cash, not from your father. Alexandria deserves all the credit.” I nodded and thought about how much my mother had been through because of my father, and yet still she considered Kane her son like Stefan and me. And I knew if Kane became close to Sebastian, she’d accept him eventually too. She’d probably even push for me to come around about him. No matter how I felt about Sebastian, I hoped Kane had the chance to try to convince me too. My cell rang, and I saw it was my mother calling. Answering, I heard panic in her voice. “Cassian, you need to get back to the hospital.”

“Why? Did something happen?” Fear tore through me at the thought that Kane had taken a turn for the worse. “They had to take Kane back into surgery. He went into cardiac arrest. Abbi needs you and Stefan. Tell Olivia I’ll watch the baby so she and Shay can get there too.” I ended the call, feeling like the world had begun spinning out of control. Olivia hurried to get Cassian ready to go to my mother’s as I prayed to God I got to my brother in time.

Chapter Fourteen

Kane THE TOUCH OF ABBI’S HAND on mine told me I was still okay. At least I wanted to believe I was, but the sound of beeping machines and people yelling made me think things were anything but okay. As long as I felt Abbi’s hand holding mine, I didn’t worry. I tried to remember what happened, but my thoughts were hazy, like my brain was disconnected. I was at Sebastian’s trying to convince him to give up stealing for a living. Some guy busted in demanding money from him. I wanted to give him what I had to at least give Sebastian some time. After that, everything went dark. I remembered a popping sound and a smell I hadn’t experienced in years. Then nothing, other than the feel of Abbi’s hand touching mine as she talked about Annalea and Liam. I wanted to open my eyes and tell her I loved her, but I couldn’t do either. I knew by the sound of her voice that something was wrong. I always knew when she was unhappy, even if I couldn’t see her face. I hated hearing her sound like that because it was always from something I’d done. No one else in the world made her sad like I did. It wasn’t something I ever wanted to do. I never set out to hurt her, but I was so fucked up even now that sometimes I made the wrong decisions or said the wrong thing. Or I lied to her, although I knew she hated when I did that. But I lied to protect her, never to make her sad. Suddenly, I felt her hand drift away, leaving me cold and alone. I wanted to scream, “Don’t go! Stay. No matter what I did, I’ll fix it, Abbi. I promise I will!” But I couldn’t cry out. I couldn’t move. All the yelling and beeping grew louder and louder. Who were these people and what were they saying? Everything sounded frantic and garbled. Was I dreaming? Was that why I couldn’t speak or see? My heart raced as I tried to wake up, pounding harder than it ever had before. I felt like my chest might explode. I had to calm down or I’d have a damn heart attack. Was I dreaming all of this? What was that thing I heard once about dying in a dream meant you died in real life? Or was it falling? Fuck! And then there was nothing. No sound. No beeping or screaming. Nothing. I opened my eyes, and before me I saw a beautiful sunny day. I stood in the dirt near second base on a baseball field, just off the perfectly green grass. No one else was there with me. No players, no spectators. Nobody. Just me. Where was I? I looked around and wondered if I was still dreaming. “This isn’t a dream. Well, not technically,” a deep voice said, answering my unspoken question. I spun around to see him standing there like we belonged together on a baseball diamond. Since I’d never even seen a game with him, much less played baseball together, I had to wonder why I was there with him at all. “Because this is what you wanted when you were seven. To play baseball and have your father there to see you.” The memory of me begging my mother to let me play on the local team flashed through my mind as vividly as if it had happened just seconds before. I wanted to play more than anything, but she said no. I never told her I wanted my father to see me play. I knew better.

A feeling of sadness filled me at the memory. “I never did get to play.” My father nodded, a frown etched into his features. “I wouldn’t have come to see you anyway, if that means anything.” I looked around as my chest began to ache. “If this is a dream, it sucks. Nothing like being told the one person you desperately wanted to love you wouldn’t have given a damn.” “This isn’t a dream, Kane.” “Okay, Cassian. What is it then?” I asked as I headed toward the outfield to lie down in that green grass that looked so inviting. He followed me, but probably not for the same reason. “It’s sort of a dream but more of a vision.” Looking back at him, I grimaced at the thought that my father had chosen now to visit me. “So now I’m now having visions? Why?” “Because you can.” I sat down on that perfect green grass, loving the feel of its coolness against my palms, and looked up at him. “And why’s that?” “Because you’re dead.” He said those words like they weren’t supposed to scare the hell out of me. “What? No! I’m not dead. Why would you say that?” “Well, not exactly. We don’t have a lot of time, so listen to me. I want to tell you something. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, and since you’re here now, let me say this.” I jumped to my feet, looking for a way out of this fucking nightmare. “Say whatever you want, but I’m going home.” My father touched my arm, stopping me cold. “Then let me say this before you go wherever you’re off to.” I didn’t like the way this was sounding. Why wasn’t I going home? “Okay.” Maybe listening to what he had to say was how I could get out of there. He took a deep breath and shook his head like he didn’t want to say what was on his mind. “Of all my kids, you got the worst of it, Kane. I know a big part of that was my fault, but you got a double negative in your parents. All the others had mothers who made up for what I lacked. You had the bad luck to have one who didn’t.” I choked back emotion, not even sure why what he was saying bothered me. It wasn’t like any of this was news to me. “What I tried to do when you had to go to jail was to make up for all that I’d done wrong, but I know it wasn’t enough. I’ve had a lot of time to figure that out.” “Here in heaven?” As soon as the words left my mouth, the baseball field and beautiful day full of blue skies disappeared and suddenly we were standing in a white room. I spun around to figure out what had happened, but my father stood as still as a statue, unfazed by the change. “Not exactly heaven.” “Stop saying not exactly, damnit! What’s happening?” He screwed his face into an expression like he’d just eaten something terrible. “You’re in cardiac arrest. Whether you die now or not isn’t in your hands anymore, so I better finish what I was saying.” I felt my chest tighten. “Cardiac arrest? How?” My father took hold of my arm and instantly calmed me. “Listen to what I have to say. You’ve gotten past what your mother and I did to you. You’ve got a beautiful wife you love and two wonderful kids. I know why you wanted to find Sebastian, but don’t jeopardize your happiness to make up for my failures.

He didn’t have the childhood you did. He’ll be okay. Don’t make a mistake you won’t be able to come back from, even if it’s for the right reasons.” “I didn’t want him to go through life not knowing he had brothers,” I explained. “I just thought he should know.” Cassian shook his head. “He’s not like you, Kane. I knew when he was born that he’d be okay. He had a mother and father who loved him. He never went without because I wasn’t around, like you did.” A light began to flood the room, and slowly I began to lose sight of him. “What’s happening now?” I asked. “Am I dying?” I didn’t want to die. I wanted to go back to my life with Abbi and our children. To working with Cash at the restaurant. To everything I hadn’t accomplished yet. As he faded away, he said, “I don’t know. I just know our time is up now. Remember what I said, Kane. I’m sorry for never being there for you. I’m sorry you didn’t get to play baseball or see the mountains or hear me say I was proud of you. I am, though.” I didn’t know how he knew that I had wished for all those things when I was a growing up. I didn’t know what was happening or how I had gotten to speak to my father again. All I knew was I wanted to return to Abbi and feel the touch of her hand on mine. I wanted to see my kids again and hold them in my arms. I wanted to live.

Chapter Fifteen

Kane SLOWLY, I OPENED MY EYES to see Abbi staring at me and smiling, her beautiful blue eyes wide with concern. She did that a lot these days since I came home from the hospital. For the first couple months, I don’t think she slept a night all the way through. I’d wake up and see her watching me, afraid that I might stop breathing at some point as I slept. It wasn’t until right around Christmas that she trusted I’d be okay if she closed her eyes. I hated that she worried about me. She didn’t have to. The doctor had told her that over and over, but it didn’t seem to matter. “Good morning,” she said sweetly. “Good morning. Did you get a full night’s sleep?” I asked, hoping to hear she had. She kissed me softly on the lips and nodded. “I have to take care of the kids. We have a big day ahead of us today. Cash’s party begins at noon, so there’s no rest for the wicked.” I knew what that answer meant. She hadn’t slept much. Again. As she turned to slip out of bed, I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her back toward me. “Where are you going in such a hurry? I don’t hear either of the kids making any noise yet.” She smiled in that way that never failed to make my heart flutter and said, “I figured I’d get a jump on the day.” “I’d rather you get a jump on me,” I said with a wink. Lifting her so she sat on top of me, I ran my hands down her sides until I reached her hips. After months of waiting because of my injury, I was done being a patient. I wanted to be a husband and a man again. She gently balanced herself on me, awkwardly placing her hands on my chest. Her right palm covered the scar from where the bullet entered my body, but when she realized where her hand was, she quickly pulled it away. “I really have to get this day started, Kane.” I lifted my hips to let her feel my hard on ready to go. “Feel that? He’s ready to get back into the game.” “You say that like it’s cute. I’ve never been worried about that part of you. It’s the other parts that concern me.” Squeezing her ass in my hands, I joked, “Do you mean my tongue? Because if you do, don’t worry. He’s ready to go too, and I haven’t forgotten how to make your thighs quiver.” Her expression grew dark. “Stop joking about this, Kane. I don’t want to do anything that would make me lose you. You know that.” I cradled her face and pulled her mouth to mine to kiss her long and deep. “You’re not going to lose me if we have sex. My heart is fine. The doctor told you that. I had a heart attack because I’d been shot, not because I have a bad heart. I have a great heart, and I’m as healthy as a horse. So climb on and giddy up!” From down the hallway, I heard Liam cry, “Mommy!” No sex for me this morning. “Looks like this cowgirl is going to have to take a rain check,” Abbi said as she climbed off me.

As she trotted toward the door, I folded my arms behind my head. “I’ll be back here tonight, so be ready.” She stopped and looked at me. “You make it sound like something I need to prepare for.” “It’s been months since we were together, Abbi. I’m like a man dying of thirst who’s getting his first drink in ages. I don’t plan on holding back.” A sly smile formed on her beautiful mouth. “Well, then. I guess I better be ready.”

* EVERYONE HAD GOTTEN TO ALEXANDRIA’S house before we arrived since getting both kids ready, fed, and into the car had taken far longer than expected, so Abbi and Annalea hurried up the sidewalk to her front door as Liam and I followed behind. As was tradition, Cash’s birthday was always celebrated at his mother’s, so I expected something big for his thirty-fifth. “Where are those beautiful babies?” Alexandria asked as she came through the front door with her arms open wide. Annalea tore up the porch stairs to hug her. “Grandma! We’re here for the party.” “We got a chocolate cake for all you chocolate lovers this year,” Alexandria announced, much to her granddaughter’s delight. As Annalea ran inside with Abbi, I handed Liam to his grandmother, who eagerly waited to say hello to her youngest grandchild. “The chocolate lovers seem to be happy.” Alexandria squeezed the baby to her and smiled up at me. “I made sure to get a yellow cake for this special little boy since I know he can’t have anything chocolate. I think Shay isn’t a chocolate lover either, if I’m not mistaken.” “I’ll eat the yellow cake too, so you won’t have to worry about much in the way of leftovers, Mom.” She studied me for a long moment before saying, “You look good, Kane. It’s like the whole thing never happened.” “I’m as healthy as a horse. Now if I could just convince Abbi of that.” We walked into the house and Alexandria quietly said, “She had a very hard time when she thought she might lose you. You can’t blame her for being scared.” “I don’t blame her, but she has to stop worrying. I’ve returned to work and returned to everything I used to do before the shooting. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Patting me on the arm, she smiled. “Well, you’re just going to have to convince her of that then. I’m sure it will happen eventually. Just give her time.” I wasn’t going to tell her that I’d given it more than enough time and planned to put an end to all this worry that night. While she took Liam into the kitchen to join his sister and mother, I spied Stefan and Shay outside in the yard. Happy to see them, I made my way out to the porch. “What’s up with you two? Avoiding all the kids inside?” Shay turned around and smiled. “You know us. We don’t want to get too close or we might want one of our own.” “How the hell are you?” Stefan asked as I walked down the stairs to meet them on the grass. “I’m fine. You’re not going to ask me how I’m feeling now too, are you?” I joked. Slapping me on the shoulder, he laughed. “Not really my style, you know? I’m going to assume you feel fine until I hear otherwise.” That’s what I liked about Stefan and Cash. They didn’t hover, even though I knew they were worried

about me when everything happened. “Thank God.” Shay opened her arms and gave me a hug. “Well, forget that manly nonsense. I want to know how you’re doing, Kane. I haven’t seen you since you were in the hospital.” She squeezed me like she was afraid I’d run away if she loosened her hold and then stepped back quickly, like she’d remembered how much Abbi didn’t like when she showed me any kind of attention, nice or not. “I’m fine. I was just telling Alexandria that I’m as healthy as a horse. Now if I could just get everyone to believe me.” Studying me for a moment, Shay seemed to doubt that was the truth for a second, but then she nodded. “You look great. I’m so happy you’re okay, Kane.” “Always.” Behind me, Cash yelled from the porch, “It’s my birthday and you don’t even bother to say hi when you get here? No respect for the birthday boy.” I turned to see him smiling and knew he wasn’t angry. “You looked pretty busy with the kids, so I figured I’d let you be the man of the hour. Anything to take the focus off me for once.” “Well, I expect you guys to be in here for the cake in a few minutes, and Stefan, Mom wants you in the kitchen to help her.” Stefan chuckled. “Duty calls.” He ran off toward the house, leaving Shay and me alone for one of the first times in years. Shay instantly seemed awkward, but after a few seconds she asked, “Are you going to continue getting to know Sebastian? Stefan told me he’s started contacting you guys again.” Sebastian had called once or twice since I got out of the hospital, but I hadn’t spoken to him yet because I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I didn’t blame him for what happened, but I knew Abbi did. More worry about me was the last thing she needed right now. “I don’t know. Is Stefan?” Shay nodded, but I saw a sadness come over her face. “I think so. He’s all about the idea that he has a younger brother out there.” “You don’t look happy about that.” She pressed her lips together to stop herself from speaking for a long moment and turned away. Finally, she turned to face me and said, “Do you mind if I give you some unsolicited advice, Kane?” We hadn’t talked like this since that night in my apartment over Club X, so I was intrigued about what she would say. “Feel free. Say what’s on your mind.” “Forget Sebastian. Your wife blames him for what happened to you, so spending any time with him is going to upset her. Do what you did with me. Forget whatever you want to do and never look back because whatever friendship will give you can’t trump the happiness you have with Abbi.” Shay and I had never spoken about how I’d abandoned our friendship because it upset Abbi. She knew and never said anything about it, and even though I missed talking to her, I accepted the reality that what I’d done the night of Annalea’s birth had set in motion the hatred Abbi felt for her. “I’m sorry, Shay. If I hadn’t been such a bastard to her all those months, none of it would have happened. I think her feelings toward you are more about how she never forgave me for what I did. Not that I think she should.” “She forgave you, Kane.” I hung my head, hating that this whole thing with Shay and Abbi was all my fault. “Well, she shouldn’t have. Some things shouldn’t be forgiven.”

“I forgave you because I love you.” A look of horror settled into Shay’s face as we both saw Abbi standing next to us. I’d been so deep in feeling like shit that I hadn’t seen her walk up. “Abbi, I—” She shook her head. “No, let me say what I have to say.” She turned to look at Shay and smiled. “I’m sorry I let this go on so long that my husband doesn’t even feel comfortable talking with you. I’ve been stupid and petty because of my own insecurities, and that’s not right. I hope you can forgive me.” Stunned, Shay said nothing as Abbi hugged her. I had no idea what had brought this on, but I loved her for it. “Abbi, I don’t know what to say. I’m happy we can all be friends now.” “Me too. Again, I’m sorry for everything. I hope you understand, but I need to speak to Kane now. We’ll be right in for cake.” Shay smiled and headed into the house as I stood stunned by what had just happened. Abbi waited until she was out of earshot and took my hand in hers. “I think it’s about time I apologized to you too. I’m sorry, Kane. I haven’t been a very good wife to you.” Her blue eyes welled with tears. “I wanted to be…” “Don’t do this, Abbi. You’ve been a wonderful wife. You’ve had to deal with all my nightmarish shit and never once walked away, even when you should have. When I was in the hospital, I knew as long as I could feel your hand holding mine that I was okay.” “I would never leave you. Never. I knew who you were when we started this that night in your rooms above the club. I also knew I loved you. So why would I leave?” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it, loving the gentle scent of flowers from her skin. “Because I put you through hell all those months after I sent you away. Because I still forget how wonderful my life is now and think I’m that person I was before I met you.” Abbi wrapped her arms around me as I continued. “Because I lied to you and ended up getting myself shot because I couldn’t stop tilting at windmills.” “You don’t see all the wonderful things about you. You never have. I do, though. I’ve seen them since you took me out of that club to protect me.” I pulled back away from her and cradled her face. “I’m not going to do anything else with Sebastian. What Shay said is right. I don’t want to jeopardize our happiness. Sebastian’s fine. He grew up with a mother who loved him. He’s not like me.” Abbi’s face lit up from her smile. “I know you’re worried I hate him. I did. When I was sitting in that hospital room praying to God you’d live, all I could think of was how he was to blame for you lying in that bed. I know that’s not true, though. I know how much family means to you, so if you need to be around him, I just need you to promise me you won’t lie to me anymore.” “I don’t know. Maybe I will find him again, but right now, I have all the family I need.” Standing on her toes, she kissed me sweetly on the lips. “Well, if you decide you want a relationship with him, I’m behind you one hundred percent. I just need to be sure there won’t be any more lies between us.” “I promise. No more lies.” “Good. Let’s go inside and celebrate your brother’s birthday and tonight we’ll have our own celebration,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “What’s this change about? Not that I don’t like it, because I do, but this morning you were worried I might drop dead from sex.” She pulled me toward the house. “Let’s just say I was reminded that I have a very sexy man for a

husband and I realized worrying about everything was a waste.” I didn’t really care what had changed her mind. I knew she’d tell me eventually. Until then, it was nice to be back to the way we were before I got shot.

Epilogue

Kane OPENING THE BEDROOM DOOR, I saw all the lights were dark. I’d tucked Liam into his crib and told Annalea her favorite nighttime story, but I’d taken too long. Abbi must have drifted off to sleep before I could get to bed. Disappointed, I stripped out of my clothes and slid under the covers. I didn’t blame her. It had been a long day with everyone out at Alexandria’s. I closed my eyes as a sense of happiness came over me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Abbi’s problem with Shay was over, and even though I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about Sebastian, I knew whatever I decided, the woman I loved would be by my side. My time with my father when I was lying in that hospital bed flashed through my mind, and his apology replayed in my head. I’d spent nearly all my life wondering why I wasn’t enough for him to love me like a father should. When I became a father to my own children, the question remained. Now I knew for sure what everyone who loved me had said was true. It wasn’t me who was lacking. It was my father. Abbi slid her hand down my chest and over my stomach to take my cock in her hand. “Hey, are you just going to lie there in the dark or come on over here where your wife has been waiting for you?” God, I loved this woman. “I thought you were asleep already. I figured I’d be left to my own devices,” I said with a chuckle. She nuzzled my neck, sending excitement racing through me. “No way, baby. I’ve been waiting for this celebration all day.” I pulled her on top of me and kissed her deep, my tongue mingling with hers and thrilling me like only she could. “What exactly are we celebrating?” I asked as I lifted my hips to slide into her wet and waiting cunt. Straddling me, she rolled her hips forward and back as she balanced herself on my chest. “You. Me. Us. Me finally remembering who you are.” I groaned, loving the feel of her wrapped around my cock. It had been too damn long since I was with Abbi like this. “Did you forget who your husband was?” Holding her hips as she rode me, I added, “Because I never changed.” She stopped moving and sat up straight on me. “I know, but I did. I got scared I’d lose you. Once that settled into my brain, I couldn’t see you anymore. You became the man I was terrified would die on me.” We’d never talked about this, but I knew what had happened. I just didn’t know how to show her I wasn’t going to leave her anytime soon. So for months, she acted like she was afraid every day was the one I’d be snatched away, and I said nothing, too guilty for having put her through all that had happened because of my recklessness. “I’m glad you can see the real me again, angel.” Abbi leaned forward and kissed me like everything she’d ever needed existed in that kiss. “I want the man I fell in love with back, Kane.” I rolled her over onto her back and slowly began thrusting into her. “Even though he works a lot and

doesn’t talk as much as you want him to? And even though he might always be fucked up?” Digging her heels into my back as she urged me to fuck her faster, Abbi pulled me to her and whispered in my ear, “I love that man, no matter how messed up he is. We were broken when we met, and I never wanted anyone but him.” I plunged into her over and over, those studs marking her body just as they had that night we first made love. I’d found something in Abbi that I’d never found in anyone else in the world, and after all we’d gone through, the truth was simple between us. She was the angel who saved me, no matter how much she wanted to believe I’d rescued her. She’d accepted me and all the fucked up issues that I brought with me. But whatever else I was—father, son, brother—I was the man who adored her, first and foremost. There, in that bed we shared as husband and wife, I gave her everything I had and reveled in the amazement that she gave me herself completely and without question. As she rested her head on my chest where that bullet nearly took me away from her and everyone I loved, I leaned forward and kissed her hair. “Thank you for what you did today. It means the world to me.” Abbi looked up at me and narrowed her eyes. “Why?” I know she thought I meant that I was happy Shay and I would be friends again, but that wasn’t it. “Because it means you’ve forgiven me for all those months I was a fool and hurt you.” Her expression softened at my explanation. “I should have done that for Shay and for you years ago, Kane. We’ve been given a real second chance, and I don’t want anything to tarnish that. That goes for you getting to know your brother Sebastian too. If that’s what you need to do, then I’m beside you one hundred percent. Family isn’t just your wife and kids. I know that.” I thought about what my father said to me in that dream or whatever it was when I was in the hospital. Sebastian probably didn’t need me in his life, but I needed to give him the chance just in case he wanted to know me as his brother. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, you know that?” Abbi smiled. “Maybe you have a guardian angel?” Holding her close to me, I thought about my father as my guardian angel and had to wonder. I may not have had love like my brothers had growing up, but I had it now. And nothing was going to take that away from me.

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DON’T MISS THE SILK SERIES, A STORY OF LOVE AND OBSESSION, AVAILABLE NOW! SILK I want her. I crave her. She’s my addiction. The world knows me as Ian Anwell, New York Times bestselling author, but Kristina makes me want more. Much more. I need him. I love him. He’s my obsession. Everyone thinks they know Kristina Richards, but I’m more than what they see on the screen. So much more. I’m his muse, and this is our story.

READ ON FOR AN EXCERPT OF SILK VOLUME ONE! SILK VOLUME ONE Excerpt:

I SIGN MY NAME AND a few words about her being my biggest fan, but all I can think of is how her knee feels nudging against my thigh as she sits next to me with her legs folded underneath her. When I hand her the book, she smiles so sweetly at my inscription. “Thank you. It’s perfect.” More perfection from the world’s most imperfect soul. If she only knew. Kristina shifts her weight and begins to fidget with her hands. “I guess you know all about that whole

thing with John Stinson and think I’m just the biggest fool, don’t you?” I truly have no idea what she’s referring to, but I can see by the pain in her gorgeous eyes that it’s something she’s embarrassed by. With a smile, I say, “I don’t know what you mean.” “You don’t?” Shaking my head, I explain I rarely watch anything that would tell me about Hollywood gossip. “So you see, I really don’t know what you mean.” “Oh. I thought maybe that was why you didn’t make a move when we got back here.” She presses her lips together as she waits for my answer, but I’m not in the mood to explain why I haven’t tried to kiss her yet. Better to just do it. Sometimes words get in the way. The fantasy that’s been playing on a constant loop in my brain is about to come true. Taking her chin between my thumb and forefinger, I gently pull her face toward me and kiss that delicious mouth I first noticed days ago, dying to know what her perfectly formed lips will feel like as I press mine to them. My cock is rock hard already, and I haven’t even touched her yet. Normally, it takes at least some decent foreplay to get me going, but that’s probably because of the poison flowing through me. Now my bulge is practically busting out of my pants before we even kiss. Just before her mouth meets mine, she moans ever so slightly a tiny whimper, and then we kiss. Her lips are soft and full, and all I can think of as her tongue slides tentatively into my mouth is how much I want to feel those lips and tongue on my cock. Her hands caress my cheeks as our kiss intensifies, and then she’s on my lap straddling my hips, her black skirt up around her waist. My hands instinctively move to cup that beautiful ass I’d admired as we left the bar, and a jolt of excitement courses through me when I feel skin instead of the cotton of panties. Fuck, she’s wearing only a garter belt under her skirt! That gorgeous, full ass feels incredible in my hands. My fingers knead her silky skin as she grinds against the front of my pants, and I lift my hips off the couch to push my cock against her. Our kiss deepens and our tongues dance together. Kristina moans into my mouth, and I squeeze her cheeks hard, loving how eager she is. She tugs on my hair, her desire ratcheting up against mine and I slip a finger down toward her drenched pussy. I want her. I want to live the fantasy that’s played repeatedly since that first moment I filled my eyes with her beautiful face. Kristina’s fingers slide down over my neck to my shirt, and she begins to unbutton it, whispering against my lips, “I want you, Ian. That’s why when my manager told me you wanted to meet me, I made the meeting for as soon as possible. Tell me you want me. Tell me what you want me to do.” I push her hands away and groan, “Take your sweater off.” She obeys my command and slips it off, revealing a pink lace bra. I want to see the gorgeous tits under it, so I quickly unhook it and throw it off to the side as I fill my eyes with the sight of her breasts. Full and firm, they look real, which thrills me even more than I imagined. I cup them in my hands and take one full, deep pink nipple in my mouth, sucking gently at first. Looking up, I see her watching me, biting her lower lip and whimpering, “Yes…harder…” Her wish is my command, and I suck her pebbled skin harder into my mouth. I close my eyes and listen to her moans as I bite down gently on her excited nipple. Fuck, she’s responsive! I hadn’t expected that. Kristina rolls her hips and begins to rub up against me in earnest. I love the idea that my mouth on her is going to get her off even before I whip my cock out. I feel her juices dampen the front of my pants and look up to see her face show the ecstasy building inside her. Releasing her nipple, I move my head to the other one and take it into my mouth, sucking hard as she pulls my hair.

Her hand slides between us and she fingers her wet pussy, but it gets in my way, so I pull her hand away. Disappointed, she frowns and admits quietly, “That’s the only way I can get off.” I say nothing but shake my head, determined now to make her come from anything but her fingers touching her clit. Holding her hands behind her back, I slide my cock out of my pants and stroke it from base to head. I position it at her entrance and look up at her. “Not with me.” GET YOUR COPY OF THE SILK SERIES TODAY!

LOVE MYSTERY? CHECK OUT MY GOOD FRIEND ANINA COLLINS’ POPPY MCGUIRE SERIES TODAY! The Eleventh Hour (Poppy McGuire Mystery #1) Poppy McGuire has always been a curious soul, but it’s her life that’s usually the topic of conversation in the small town of Sunset Ridge. But now one of the town’s most important citizens has been found murdered, and everyone’s life is suspect. What begins as a friendly wager with her old friend Officer Derek Hampton soon becomes far more for Poppy, and she turns to Alex Montero for help, but the enigmatic former Baltimore cop’s quiet way hides as many secrets as each suspect they encounter. Everyone in Sunset Ridge has something to hide, but Poppy and Alex are determined to uncover the identity of the murderer. They just have to watch that they don’t become the next victims.

Excerpt:

TWO SHOTS OF WHISKY HAD never hit me that hard. I must have been exhausted to sleep through my alarm. Fully rested, I set my mind to working on the Geneva Woodward case and headed off to the shower to start my day. An hour later, I was ready to begin truly figuring out who the murderer was. I heard a knock on my kitchen door and expected to find my father standing there to check up on me. Ready with a snappy comeback to his jokes about me being hung over, I opened the door to see not my father but Alexander standing there with a coffee from The Grounds in his hand. “Good morning. I come bringing a peace offering,” he said with a smile that looked genuine and made snapping at him impossible. “Good morning. You’re the last person I expected to see when I opened the door.” “May I come in?” I considered the idea of grabbing the coffee out of his hand since I could smell it was my favorite dark roast blend and then slamming the door in his face, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t that kind of person, even if I still didn’t like how he’d acted toward me on the two occasions we’d been around one another. “Sure. Please come in,” I said as I opened the door wide and stepped back to allow him to pass. Closing the door, I turned to see him offering me my coffee. “I thought you might like this.” I inhaled the delicious smell of my favorite coffee. The man certainly knew how to come bearing gifts first thing in the morning. But then it dawned on me. We’d never had coffee together, so how did he know

this was my favorite? Lucky guess? Taking it from him, I asked, “How did you know how to get it?” Alexander gave me a sly smile that somehow made him even more attractive. “I’m a detective. It’s my job to know things like that.” Oh, he was entirely too confident. I offered him a seat at my kitchen table and took a drink of the dark roast coffee made exactly as I liked it—two sugars, three creamers, and ice. In fact, the temperature told me he’d gotten the number of ice cubes right too. Three. But how? “So Mr. I’m a Detective, how did you know to get it just the right temperature and exactly the way I take it? I’m a pretty particular coffee drinker.” Another smile, but this one was slow to spread across his face and so charming I almost looked away, worried I might blush at any moment. Almost. I didn’t look away, though, because I wanted the answer to my question. “I pay attention to what goes on around me. I was sitting in The Grounds one morning when you came in and ordered that very particular cup of coffee. It stayed with me from that day.” Still quite shocked at his even being there in my kitchen, I leveled my gaze on him and tried to determine if he was telling the truth or just trying to charm me. “So you’re telling me that you remembered the exact way I take my coffee, even though you didn’t know me from a can of paint…when did you hear this anyway?” “A week or so ago.” “From a week ago, when I was a perfect stranger to you and simply some person ordering a coffee, you remembered that this morning and got me my coffee just like I like it?” He chuckled. “Yes, and the girl behind the counter knew how you took your coffee when I told her it was for you. I’d forgotten how many ice cubes, if we’re being honest.” I took another sip of coffee and couldn’t help but smile. He probably charmed the pants off Jennie. And he probably didn’t have to remember anything about how I took my coffee because he just told her it was for me. Detective indeed. “So what are you doing here, Alexander?” The smile slowly faded, and after taking a drink from his cup, he lowered his head slightly and looked me directly in the eyes. “I came to apologize for what happened last night.” This guy had the most delicious brown eyes I’d ever seen. Brown like expensive milk chocolate, and at that moment, I felt myself getting lost in those eyes. Snap out of it, Poppy! This isn’t some high school date. If he’s willing to make peace, maybe you can get his help on the case, so get your head out of the clouds and say something! I turned away to break our shared gaze and then looked back at him. “I guess I should apologize too. I should have handled that differently. I’m sorry.” “I am too. I shouldn’t have pulled my gun on you, and for that, I’m truly sorry. I have no excuse.” Something in those eyes of his told me he did have an excuse but he wasn’t going to tell me. All the better because I sensed hurt lay behind how he acted. Extending my hand, I offered my own olive branch. “No harm, no foul. Maybe if we pretend like we’re meeting for the first time we can put those other times behind us. Hi, I’m Poppy. Nice to meet you.” That slow smile returned, and he took my hand in his to shake it. “Hi, Poppy. I’m Alexander, but my friends call me Alex.” “Hi, Alex.”

And with those two words, everything between us changed. I didn’t know why or how, but suddenly I had a feeling that he would become one of the most important people in my life. At the same time, I felt like I’d known him my entire life, even though I’d just met him days before and this was the first time we’d ever spoken more than a handful of civil words to each other. Strangely, our conversation came to an abrupt halt after reintroducing ourselves to one another. He seemed content to sit there next to me and drink his coffee in silence, so I took the opportunity to study him as he seemed to have studied me already. He was definitely a good looking man. I didn’t need to spend much time studying him to see that. Dark, thick hair and those delicious brown eyes that told anyone who looked into them that there was a story in his past gave him an exotic feel. With the last name Montero, he was likely Italian or maybe Greek. Sunset Ridge didn’t have many citizens with those ethnic backgrounds, which made him stand out even more. I let my gaze drift over him as he sat there silently and couldn’t help notice his hands. Strong looking, they were bigger than even my father’s working class hands and had long fingers. I’d noted that he wasn’t married the first time we’d met because of the lack of a wedding band, but now that I sat right next to him, I could see the lighter skin where it had sat on his ring finger until recently. So where was Mrs. Montero? Was she the woman I’d read about in the obituary from nearly five years ago? Possibly, but if that was the case, why was the mark where the wedding band had been still so clear? Five years was a long time to wear a wedding band for a wife who’d died. I wanted to ask about his wife, if only to say I was sorry because it seemed like I should and if that wedding band mark was any indication, he still hurt. But I didn’t. Alex and I were practically strangers, and strangers didn’t pry like that. At least this stranger didn’t. If he was sitting with one of those committee ladies and they had any inkling of a wife in his past, the poor man would now be dodging questions left and right about her. Those Founders’ Day ladies were nothing if not nosy. The thought of Alex stuck in a room with those four made me smile, and I looked up from staring at his hands to see he had seen where I was looking. Quickly, I turned away to avoid his gaze, feeling oddly embarrassed. “You have a nice house here. Very cozy.” I turned back to see him scanning my kitchen, as if he were studying it like I’d been studying him. “Thank you. I like it.” “It’s a big house for just one person.” I wanted to ask how he was so sure I lived alone, but he didn’t even have to be a half-way decent detective to know that. A few minutes with my father the other night at the bar and he likely had my entire life story. “I guess,” I mumbled, sort of hating how awkward things had gotten between us already. He didn’t continue the conversation, but that seemed to be the type of person he was. Talk about opposites. I was what my father had always called a Chatty Cathy, but Alex parsed out words like they cost him money every time one came out of his mouth. Sitting quietly for a few more minutes, the question that had been on my mind earlier before I got lost in those eyes of his and the idea that his past was some kind of tragedy came back to me. Why was he here? Breaking the uncomfortable silence, I asked, “Alex, why did you come here today? I mean, you could have just apologized and then left or simply called me to say you were sorry. Instead you come here and

say you’re sorry and then say little else. What are you doing here?” I cringed at how blunt that sounded. I never meant to phrase things so succinctly. They just came out that way. Before I could apologize, though, he nodded and began to speak again. “I like how forthright you are, Poppy. That kind of frankness is refreshing, so I’ll return the favor. I’ve heard a number of things about you, and all of them point to someone who’s smart. You’re different than everyone else I’ve met in this town. I also know this is the first time you’re working with Derek on one of his cases. To be honest, I know why he likes to have you around, but I have to believe you want to work with him on this Geneva Woodward case because you’re a detective in your heart and not because you have some secret love for the brother of our police chief.” A mixture of stunned disbelief at how much Alex knew about me and amusement at the thought of my having any romantic feelings for Derek washed over me. My brain felt like it short-circuited, and not knowing what to say, I let out a laugh as the thought of Derek and me settled into my mind. “Did I say something funny?” Alex asked, his gaze intently focused on me now. “No. I guess I just got sidetracked by the idea of Derek and me together since, to be honest, I felt a little exposed by the rest of what you said.” “So no secret romance between you and him?” he asked with a smile that told me he was trying to make things less uncomfortable. I shook my head and screwed my face into an expression that was meant to show my distaste for anything like that with Derek Hampton. “No. He’s nice, but he’s not my type.” “I had a feeling. As for the other things I said, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I’ve been prying into your personal life. Your father loves you a great deal and he likes to brag about you. I will admit I checked into what he said and found he wasn’t exaggerating. Your job at The Bottom Line might be beneath you, but you’re good at it. See? You are a detective in your heart.” The reality of how little progress I’d made in finding out who’d murdered Geneva or even proving that it wasn’t a robbery gone wrong like Derek thought made my shoulders sag, and I lowered my head to admit the truth. “I’m not a very good detective, it seems. I haven’t gotten very far with this case.” “You came out to my house to ask me a few questions last night before I ran you off like some criminal, so I have a proposition to make you. I’d like to help you with the Geneva Woodward case, if you’ll take my assistance.” Once again, Alex Montero had surprised me. “Why would you want to help me instead of helping Derek? He’s the actual policeman. I’m just an amateur investigator with wild ideas. Or at least that’s what Derek thinks.” Leaning back against the chair, Alex smiled. “From what I heard that day in the office, he’s got what happened to that woman all figured out. He wouldn’t be interested in my help.” “You’re a real detective, and you want to work with me? Why?” I asked, still in disbelief he’d want to partner up with me. “Because you have good instincts, and I agree with you. This wasn’t a robbery gone south. Someone murdered that woman, and I’m guessing it was a crime of passion. Or maybe it was premeditated, but whatever happened, it wasn’t some stranger caught at the wrong place at the wrong time like Derek wants to believe.” GET YOUR COPY OF THE FIRST 3 POPPY MCGUIRE BOOKS THE ELEVENTH HOUR, AFTER HOURS, AND TOP OF THE HOUR TODAY AND LOOK FOR BOOK 4, THE DARKEST HOUR, RELEASING JULY 27, 2016! VISIT ANINACOLLINS.COM FOR MORE INFO AND BUY LINKS

About the Author K.M. Scott writes contemporary romance stories of sexy, intense, and unforgettable love. A New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, she’s been in love with romance since reading her first romance novel in junior high (she was a very curious girl!). She lives in Pennsylvania with her teenage son and a herd of animals and when she’s not writing can be found reading or feeding her TV addiction. Be sure to visit K.M.’s Facebook page at facebook.com/kmscottauthor for all the latest on her books, along with giveaways and other goodies! And to hear all the news on K.M. Scott books first, sign up for her newsletter today and be sure to visit her website at www.kmscottbooks.com Visit Gabrielle’s Facebook page and her website at www.gabriellebisset.com to find out about her books too!

Books by K.M. Scott: The Heart of Stone Series Crash Into Me (Heart of Stone #1) Fall Into Me (Heart of Stone #2) Give In To Me (Heart of Stone #3) The Heart of Stone Trilogy Box Set Ever After (Heart of Stone #4) A Heart of Stone Christmas (Heart of Stone #5) Unforgettable (Heart of Stone #6) Unbreakable (Heart of Stone #7) The Club X Series Temptation (Club X #1) Surrender (Club X #2) Possession (Club X #3) Satisfaction (Club X #4) Acceptance (Club X #5) The Club X Box Set The Silk Series Silk (Volume One) Silk (Volume Two) Silk (Volume Three) Silk (Volume Four) SILK Box Set K.M.’S BOOKS ARE IN AUDIOBOOK TOO!

Books by Gabrielle Bisset:

The Sons of Navarus Series Vampire Dreams Revamped (A Sons of Navarus Prequel) Blood Avenged (Sons of Navarus #1) Blood Betrayed (Sons of Navarus #2) Longing (A Sons of Navarus Short Story) Blood Spirit (Sons of Navarus #3) The Deepest Cut (A Sons of Navarus Short Story) Blood Prophecy (Sons of Navarus #4) Blood Craving (Sons of Navarus #5) The Sons of Navarus Box Set #1 The Sons of Navarus Box Set #2 The Destined Ones Duology Stolen Destiny (Destined Ones Duology #1) Destiny Redeemed (Destined Ones Duology #2) The Victorian Erotic Romances Love’s Master Masquerade The Victorian Erotic Romance Trilogy