In Dreams - The Dream Series_Book 1 - J. Sterling

In Dreams (The Dream Series, Book #1)

By: J. Sterling (Book #2 Coming Fall, 2012) Copyright © 2011 by J. Sterling Cover Photography: Jenn Sterling Cover Design: Michelle Preast www..michellepreast.com Kindle Edition, License Notes This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Fourth Edition: April 24, 2012 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief

permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. ASIN: B005F0FXKM

DEDICATION This book is dedicated to those (living and otherwise) who inspired me to write this story. You know who you are. xoxo Table of Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Other Books Coming Soon LOVE Acknowledgements Connect with J. Sterling Online

Connect with J. Sterling Online

Chapter One They held hands as they walked down a familiar street. It was the street of her childhood, yet somehow it was different. The houses weren’t quite the same and something didn’t…well, it didn’t quite feel right. She glanced up at the boy whose hand she held. Her mind was keenly aware that she didn’t “know” him, but her heart told her otherwise. His hair was short and the light brown color reminded her of the sand after it had been washed over by a wave. Her eyes followed the shape of his body through the shirt he wore. She could see the muscles in his arms, and his broad shoulders were hard to hide. His face appeared flawless and it took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to run her hand down his cheek just to feel the softness of his skin. Then there were his eyes. They sparkled with such blue radiance that every time she looked at them, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to look away. It was as though he could see right through her. She thought she should be uncomfortable with all of this, but for some reason, she was completely at ease with this stranger. He looked at her and smiled. His perfect teeth and full lips made him even more gorgeous. They walked and he talked a lot. He told her things that didn’t make any sense to her. He spoke about where he grew up and how his house wasn’t there any more. He talked about a fire,

how his house wasn’t there any more. He talked about a fire, horses, and mentioned something about a soldier and war. Katherine listened intently to all the information, but her brain didn’t fully process it. She didn’t know what was going on, really. She tried to take in the details he shared and make sense of it but logic was pushed out of the way. She was too caught up in how she felt. The pure love that consumed her every time she looked at this boy was unlike anything she’d ever known before. If soul mates existed and there was such a thing, this stranger was all the proof she needed. It was as if nothing else existed or mattered in the world around them. She wasn’t aware of the noise at first; she was so caught up in the blue of his eyes. Then she heard it more clearly; the sound of quiet screams started to ring in her ears. Or maybe it was more like muffled wailing. She wasn’t sure. But at that moment she felt her stomach drop to the ground beneath her. “I’ll be right back. I have to go in there.” He pressed his lips against her hand and then slowly started to untangle his from hers. “No. Please don’t go.” She pleaded with him to stay and gripped his fingers as tightly as she could. “Katherine, I have to help.” He smiled at her, his blue eyes sparkling, and then repeated, “I’ll be right back. I promise.” “You promise?” she asked him nervously. “I promise,” he repeated reassuringly. She watched him slowly disappear through the front door. Grief immediately washed over her. She fell to her knees and clutched at her queasy stomach. She felt a sickness she couldn’t

clutched at her queasy stomach. She felt a sickness she couldn’t define. She knew with unfailing certainty that he would never walk back out of that house. The pain and loss was so severe she thought it might stop her breathing completely. And then she heard it. A single gunshot. **** “Katherine? Katherine, are you okay? Wake up.” A familiar voice startled her awake. Katherine’s eyes shot open to see her roommate Taylor standing above her. She focused on the blue eyes staring back at her. They had only been roommates a few weeks now, but they had bonded instantly. Katherine felt like she had known Taylor her whole life. “My God, Katherine, are you all right? You’re crying so hard. I mean, you’re like really crying. What the hell were you dreaming about?” Taylor looked at her with concern. “Dreaming?” Katherine repeated softly. “I was dreaming? He was a dream?!” “He, who? Tell me everything!” Taylor’s demeanor changed from concern to girlish squeals as her blonde hair bounced along her shoulders. “I can’t…talk about it right now, Tay,” Katherine could barely get the words out. “I don’t even want to move. It felt so real.” “Dreams always feel real when you’re in them,” Taylor reminded her. “I know, but this was different.” Katherine struggled to put her

feelings into words. “Everything was so intense…and the guy. I’ve just never felt like that before.” “WHAT guy? Come on, Kat, you have to tell me! I mean, you were crying! Like real tears! And you’re all weird right now,” Taylor begged. “Taylor, I know this sounds stupid, but right now I’m still processing the fact that everything I just felt and experienced was a dream. It wasn’t real. I can’t believe he wasn’t real.” She wiped at her eyes. “Crying again? Really? What the hell, Kat?” “I’ll tell you everything, I promise. I just need a minute. Please?” Katherine pleaded. Taylor pouted and walked away. “I know it’s crazy Taylor. It’s just the minute I move, everything’s going to fade. It’s all going to disappear.” “What do you mean?” Taylor asked, her eyes narrowed with confusion. Katherine took a deep breath, “It’s like I can feel him around me. Like my dream is lingering in the air. And I know once I move, it’s going to leave. I just want to hold onto to it for a bit longer. Does that make any sense?” Katherine’s face crinkled as she tried to explain. “Not really. But I’ll give you some space.” Taylor walked toward the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Katherine briefly thought about going back to sleep, but she resisted the urge. She forced her body out from under her covers. With every move, she could feel the dream and her

memory of him fading. She knew it was inevitable, but it hurt. And that confused her. “Taylor?” she yelled out toward the bathroom. She heard the door open and Taylor’s head popped out. “Oh, so you’ve decided to join the living today, eh?” “Yeah,” she replied solemnly. “I want to tell you everything. This guy—this dream—it was crazy. I don’t even know how to start talking about it because it was more of a feeling than anything else.” Katherine sighed before she continued. “Even saying that out loud sounds stupid, I know, but it’s true. I mean, not much happened in the dream, aside from him getting shot and killed, which was totally awesome,” she added sarcastically. “What? Who got shot and killed? I’m confused,” Taylor looked at her and shook her head. “You have to start from the beginning. And you have to hurry because we have class in half an hour!” She glanced up at the clock on the wall. Katherine filled Taylor in on every detail she could remember. The house. The fire. The gunshot. The soldier and the war. She did her best to put her feelings into words, although she knew no words could ever do her feelings justice. She described the guy, what he looked like, what it felt like to be around him, what it felt like when he left her and how she felt when she heard the gunshot. Taylor wrote it all down; every single word. “What are you doing?” Katherine asked quietly. “Taking notes for later,” Taylor explained. Katherine thought Taylor looked like a detective with her pad

Katherine thought Taylor looked like a detective with her pad of paper and pen sitting on the chair with her legs crossed. “What do you mean, later? You’re so weird.” “Really? You have some dream that makes you cry and I’m the weird one?” Taylor teased. “No really, what do you mean?” Taylor paused, “Let’s just say for the sake of exploring all our options, your dream guy is real? We need to write down what he looks like and stuff so we can find him.” “Real?” The idea of him existing hadn’t even occurred to Katherine. Taylor’s voice rose. “Yeah! I mean, what if? What if he came to you in your dream and you’re going to find him in class or something? What if he goes to our school? You never know. Why else would you dream about this guy and have all these crazy feelings if he wasn’t real?” Taylor’s question sparked curiosity and hope in Katherine. Her face relaxed and her eyes brightened. “Maybe he is real? Can you imagine?” Katherine smiled for the first time that morning, “I mean, why else would I have had that dream? There has to be a reason, right? There has to be a point to all of this madness.” “That’s what I’m saying!” Taylor responded excitedly. “I should probably do something with myself before we leave for class. I mean, what if my dream guy is there?” She hopped up and headed toward the bathroom smiling. “You can start by brushing that hair of yours!” Taylor sarcastically shouted toward her.

sarcastically shouted toward her. “What would I ever do without you?” Katherine piped back. “Clearly, you’d walk around with nappy hair all day.” Katherine brushed her long brown hair as Taylor had instructed her to. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint,” she mumbled at her reflection. She coated her eyelashes with dark mascara to accent her bright hazel eyes and tried to cover up the light dusting of freckles across her nose with some powder foundation. “He could totally be real,” she repeated in her head until she said it out loud by accident. “That’s what I keep telling you. He has to be. Oh, Kat, this is so exciting! We have a mission.” Taylor beamed. “It’s too bad you didn’t get his name or something. Because I could search online for him if you had a name.” “Sorry, Tay, he was too busy getting killed to tell me his name. But if I see him again, I’ll ask.” Katherine felt her personality slowly coming back. The two girls headed out of the old brick dormitory and walked through campus toward class. Katherine looked around at the stone buildings that surrounded her and smiled. She thought about her home and how no buildings looked the way these ones did. She loved Southern California, but wanted to experience something different for college. She could have stayed there, but she knew it would just be more of the same— gorgeous people consumed by celebrity, fame, reality TV, and their future careers. She wanted to meet

new people and wondered: what could be more different from the constant sunny days of Los Angeles than the snowy East Coast? She remembered how she felt when the information packet arrived from a school in New Jersey she had only vaguely considered at first. But something about this particular college called to her. She wasn’t sure if it was the old ivy covered buildings, or the tree lined campus, but she knew immediately that she wanted to be there. So when her acceptance letter arrived in the mail, she was thrilled. Taylor’s voice interrupted her memories, “Is that him? What about that guy?” Taylor pointed out guys who fit the description of Dream Guy. “Oh, what about him? If he’s not your Dream Guy, I’ll take him to be mine. Hotness on a stick.” “You’re going to make me crazy. How about if I see him, I’ll let you know? And really, hotness on a stick? Who are you?” Katherine cracked up. “We could put an ad up on the school’s website? Or in the paper? We can totally do this.” Taylor’s eyes twinkled in excitement. “How about we just go to class first? For all we know, he could be dead. He did die in my dream after all.” The back of Katherine’s mind nagged at her. The thought of him being dead wasn’t something she wanted to accept, so she forced those thoughts aside. They walked into the large classroom and Taylor motioned toward the last row. “Can we sit in the back? I hate having

toward the last row. “Can we sit in the back? I hate having people sit behind me. It’s like I can feel them staring down the back of my neck,” Taylor shivered. “Wherever’s fine. I don’t care.” Katherine followed Taylor’s lead. Katherine sat down and noticed Taylor scanning the room. She watched as Taylor quickly jotted things down in her notepad. The sight made her laugh out loud. The guy in front of her turned around when he heard her laugh. Katherine struggled to breathe as she fixated on the green eyes in front of her. They continued to stare at each another and Katherine felt herself flush. She knew one of them had to turn away, but he was the one turned backward, not her. He finally faced the front of the classroom and Taylor kicked Katherine under the table. “What…was...that?” Taylor whispered toward her. “I don’t know, but he’s really cute isn’t he? Did you see his eyes? Good Lord.” Katherine’s cheeks burned. “Blue?” Taylor asked with a big smile. “No, green. But still…hello! Is it hot in here?” Kat laughed and fanned her face. “It’s just you. And apparently him,” Taylor joked back. “Ladies, is there a problem?” The professor stopped his lecture and looked at the girls in the back of the room. “No, Professor. Sorry!” they responded in unison. Katherine punched Taylor under the table. The green-eyed boy looked back for one more glance, a quick smile and then turned back around. Katherine’s breath hitched.

turned back around. Katherine’s breath hitched. When class ended, Katherine gathered up her things and scanned the room. “Well that’s weird. I mean, where’d he go?” “Clearly, you scared him so he had to run away,” Taylor joked. She shrugged her shoulders and pulled Taylor toward the door. “Come on, let’s go.” They walked outside and into the blinding sunlight. Katherine squinted and quickly reached for her sunglasses. She looked around at the huge green trees and walked toward an unoccupied stone bench. “Let’s sit for a minute,” Katherine suggested. “Ok. I want to ask you some more questions anyway,” Taylor added. Katherine laughed, “What more can you possibly want to know?” Taylor pulled out her notepad. “Why were you crying?” “I can’t explain it. It’s the very thought of him. That moment when I heard the gunshot…” Katherine paused and pressed her hand against her heart. “It physically brought me pain. It’s like I went to bed with a whole heart, but I woke up with it in pieces.” “Kat, that’s really intense. We’re way too young and way too hot to be this crazy over some guy we’ve never met before.” Taylor informed her with a serious look on her face. “We?” “Yeah, we. I mean, I’m totally involved in this now too, so…WE.” Taylor folder her arms across her chest.

Katherine stood up from the bench and smiled, “You’re crazy. I’ve got to go to my next class. Chemistry. Awesome.” “I’ll see you at home. Did I tell you that Kylie is stopping by to see our place and say hi and stuff?” Taylor reminded her. “Who is she again?” Katherine asked. “One of my best friends from high school. Don’t worry, you’ll love her. I think,” Taylor laughed. “What???” Katherine’s eyes widened with worry. “I’ll make sure she’s on her best behavior,” Taylor reassured her confidently. “Oh my gosh, seriously? Why? What’s her deal?” Katherine pressed. “She just…I don’t know. She can be a real bitch sometimes. She’s competitive.” “And she’s your best friend? How did that happen?” Katherine sincerely wondered. “Eh, it’s a long story,” Taylor hesitated before quickly saying, “I hated her at first, something bad happened that brought us together, and here we are.” Confused, Katherine shook her head and threw up her arms, “Okay. Whatever. See you at home.” “You’re not mad, right?” “No, you’re just weird,” Katherine smiled and turned to head toward her class. “You’re the weird one. See ya later weirdo!” Taylor shouted as she headed in the opposite direction. ****

**** Taylor walked into her dorm room and tossed everything onto the floor except her notebook. She read over her scribbles from Katherine’s dream and added new thoughts and questions. When the house phone finally rang, she jumped. “Hello?” “Hi. This is the front desk. Your guest has arrived.” “Can you send her up?” “You need to come down and sign her in first.” “Okay, I’ll be right there.” Taylor hopped up and ran out the door. She rounded the corner and saw Kylie waiting impatiently for her. “So this is what you’ve ditched me for, huh?” Kylie asked snidely. Taylor signed the guest sheet and gave Kylie a tight squeeze. “Don’t be a brat. Come on. I’m so excited you’re here!” “So, tell me about your roommate? Do we hate her?” Kylie asked with a smile. Taylor laughed, “No, we don’t hate her. We love her.” Kylie scrunched her nose and Taylor snapped, “Oh, I know that look. Don’t be a bitch, Kylie. She’s from California and she’s really great. I promise.” “Whatever. I’ll try to be nice,” Kylie sassed. “How lucky for us all,” Taylor teased. **** Katherine walked through the door and the conversation abruptly stopped. Her eyes quickly met Kylie’s and she watched as the stunning blonde sized her up with a scowl. Kat smiled in

as the stunning blonde sized her up with a scowl. Kat smiled in return. Taylor jumped up, “Hey, Kat! This is my best friend from home, Kylie. Kylie, this is my roommate Katherine.” Taylor held her breath. Kylie stood up and reached for Katherine’s hand. “So you’re the famous roommate my best friend loves so much.” Katherine shot Taylor a look, “Uh…I guess so? It’s nice to meet you, Kylie. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Chills sped down Katherine’s spine as the tension between her and Kylie filled the room. Katherine sensed something undeniably off between the two of them and she wondered if Kylie did as well. “How long are you staying? Do you want to come out with us tonight?” Katherine asked in an overly friendly tone. The last thing she wanted was an enemy. “I hadn’t though about it, but what are you guys doing? I mean, if it’s some sort of party with really hot guys, you’ll need me there,” Kylie said as she ran her fingers through her short blonde hair. “Oh yes, Princess Kylie, for we humble servants cannot meet any guys without your presence. Please accompany us to the party we’re crashing later,” Taylor quipped back, rolling her eyes. Kylie eyeballed Katherine before looking back at Taylor, “I’m just saying you probably need me is all. You know that no guy can resist this.”

“Can I talk to you…in private?” Taylor barked and quickly grabbed Kylie by the arm. Katherine watched as Taylor pulled Kylie roughly into the bathroom. She cringed slightly as Taylor slammed the door shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Taylor whispered harshly. “Nothing. What’s wrong with you?” Kylie snapped back in response. “Why are you being a bitch?” Kylie narrowed her eyes and glared, “I don’t trust her.” Taylor laughed, “What do you mean you don’t trust her?” Kylie shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. Call it woman’s intuition or whatever. There’s just something about her I don’t like.” “Seriously, Kylie? If this is how you’re going to be then you should just leave.” Kylie’s face dropped, “I’m sorry. I’ll try to behave. I promise.” Taylor huffed out a long sigh, “Do better than try.” The bathroom door opened slowly and Taylor walked out first. She mouthed I’m sorry in Katherine’s direction and Katherine simply smiled. Kylie emerged and said unemotionally, “I’m sorry for being mean.” “It’s okay,” Katherine longed for peace. “So, are you going to come with us tonight or what? Kylie pondered the offer, “Yeah. I’ll go.” “And you’ll stay the night?” Taylor pushed.

“Well I’m not driving home at like 3 in the morning.” “Good,” Taylor smiled. “But one of you better let me borrow some clothes because I didn’t bring anything to wear.” “You can look through my stuff if you want,” Katherine offered. “Thanks,” Kylie responded and headed toward the closet. Taylor breathed a sigh of relief, “Plus, Kylie, you can help us look for Kat’s dream guy.” “Seriously, Taylor? I forgot all about him,” Katherine answered calmly. “Liar.” Katherine shot Taylor a look. “It’s totally normal that I can’t stop thinking about him, right? I’m sure I’m perfectly sane,” Katherine rolled her eyes. “What dream guy?” Kylie inquired, half excited, half annoyed. “Can I tell her?” Taylor looked at Katherine for approval. Katherine nodded and pretended not to listen as Taylor filled Kylie in. “Wow. That’s pretty crazy. And you have no idea who he is?” Kylie looked at Katherine with disbelief. Katherine shook her head, “Never seen him before in my life.”

Chapter Two “So what frat is this again?” Katherine asked sweetly. “Kat, I’ve told you a hundred times how much calling a

fraternity a frat makes them cry like little girls. Try not to do that to any of them tonight, will ya? It’s embarrassing…you know, for them.” “I’ll try my best, but no promises,” Katherine smiled. “And in all honesty, I’m not sure what fraternity this is. Does it really matter when there are hockey players involved?” Taylor asked with excitement. “Oh no,” sighed Kylie. “You’re joking right? Are we going to a hockey party or a fraternity party? I really need to know how much of my A-game I need to bring, Tay. You have to give a girl like me some warning!” “What? Why am I so confused right now?” laughed Kat. “Don’t listen to Kylie. She’s all hot and bothered about the hockey players. She knows that fraternity guys are easy but the hockey players require a bit more is all,” Taylor informed her. “What? You guys are making me crazy right now. What are you talking about? A bit more what?” “A bit more EVERYTHING, Kat! Jeez, don’t you know anything about hockey players?” Kylie growled. “Not really. I don’t think I even know anyone who plays hockey. But if you want to talk baseball players, I’m your girl.” “Baseball? Ugh. Could a sport be more boring?” Kylie grumbled and then looked toward Taylor for approval. “Yeah, it could be golf.” Taylor piped back and shot her a look to behave. “I’m a hockey girl. Always have been. Don’t know what it is about those boys that get me all hot and bothered.”

bothered.” “I do,” Kylie laughed and then gave her a shove. “Taylor’s only dated hockey players.” “Only? Every one of them?” Katherine asked through a laugh. Taylor shrugged, “What can I say? I like hockey.” “I don’t know anything about it. Like, at all,” Katherine admitted. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.” They rounded the corner and Katherine smiled to herself when she heard the chaos of music and voices mixed together. She noticed a crowd of people drinking out of red plastic cups in the front yard and a long line at the front door. “I do not wait in lines,” Kylie announced and headed straight for the door. “What is she doing?” Katherine asked nervously. “Getting us in. Watch,” Taylor laughed. After whispering something seductively into the guy at the door’s ear, Kylie waved them over. Katherine put her hand out for a stamp and rushed inside the house. Taylor pulled Katherine through the crowds. “Come on, Kat. Keep up,” Taylor yelled over the music to her. “Where are we going?” she asked. “We’re going to get a beer and then we’re going outside where we can scope out the situation and make our move,” Kylie responded. Katherine cracked up at the words “make our move” and suddenly found herself locked onto a very familiar pair of green

suddenly found herself locked onto a very familiar pair of green eyes. His eyes alone stopped her in her tracks. Without even a thought, her lips formed a smile. He smiled back and she felt herself blush. She tried to force her eyes away from his, but it was useless. They wouldn’t cooperate with her brain. She felt a rough tug at her arm. “What are you doing, Kat? Come on!” Taylor yelled. But then she saw where Kat looked, “Oh, the green-eyed hottie from class. Go get him!” Taylor tried to quickly walk away. “No, Taylor! Don’t leave me.” She refused to let go of Taylor’s hand. “What’s your problem? He’s gorgeous! Go talk to him!” Taylor gave Kat a little shove in the guy’s direction. Kat shot Taylor a look that said she’d kill her later, but it was too late. He was right in front of her now. She hadn’t realized in class how good looking he was. He was built like someone chiseled him out of stone. His body screamed athlete. His arms were incredible. She wanted to reach out and squeeze them just to feel his muscles, but she resisted the urge. Plus, she thought it would be weird to grope a stranger. She could tell he was well over six feet tall because even in her three-inch wedges, he towered over her. He wore a baseball cap that covered his short, dark brown hair, low across his forehead. In Kat’s opinion the hat was way too low, but for whatever reason, it looked good on him. “I’m Cooper Donovan,” he said, stretching out his hand.

“Cooper? Cool name. I’m Kat...or Katherine,” she fumbled and tried to hide her nerves. “Katherine. Nice to meet you. Sorry about the thing in class,” he mentioned. “Class?” She struggled to remember and then shook her head, “Oh. It’s okay. I mean you didn’t do anything except turn around and stare at me and my friend.” “To be fair, I was just staring at you,” he informed her with a smirk. Her legs started to shake. She wondered why he made her so nervous. She was around attractive guys all the time in Southern California, why was this one throwing her all out of whack? His voice interrupted her self questioning. “Where are you from anyway? I mean, no offense, it’s just that you don’t seem like you’re from around here.” She found herself mesmerized by the curves of his mouth. “California. What gave it away?” she questioned. “The accent, first of all,” he chuckled. “I do not have an accent. You guys have the accent, not me!” She tried so hard to act normal, but he threw her off balance. Her eyes lingered on his lips and she wondered what it would be like to kiss them. Kylie and Taylor watched the interaction from the other room. “He looks like a nice guy,” Taylor said out loud. “A nice, hot as hell, guy,” Kylie answered. “Enough with watching this romance blossom. What about us, Tay? Who will be my victim tonight?” Kylie looked around with intent.

be my victim tonight?” Kylie looked around with intent. “I’m sure anyone you choose would be more than happy to oblige.” “How can you say no to this body?” Kylie waved her hands up and down. “You’d have to be blind,” Taylor agreed before glancing back at Katherine. “So, California, how do you like living out here?” Cooper asked with genuine interest. Before she could answer, a vivacious brunette bounced in between them and wrapped her arms around Cooper. “Hi, Cooper. What do you say we ditch this party and go somewhere else?” Cooper unwrapped the girls arms from around his neck and placed them firmly back at her side before saying, “Let’s not. I’m in the middle of a conversation and you’re being very rude.” The girl glared at Katherine before huffing out some comment and storming off. “Happen to you often?” she wondered. “Sort of,” his jaw unclenched, “I’m sorry. I hate it when girls act like that.” He took a breath to regain his composure. “Anyway, back to the question. How do you like it out here?” “I love it so far. I mean, it’s not winter yet, so I’ll probably cry when it snows, but so far, it’s been amazing.” “I won’t let you cry when it snows,” he told her with a smile. “Oh, is that so?” She could feel the connection between them. It wasn’t as intense as what she felt for the guy from her dream, but there was something unexplainable between her and Cooper

was something unexplainable between her and Cooper Donovan. There was a quiet spark of recognition that burned inside her. It was as if she already knew him on some level, but that didn’t make any sense to her. “Yep. I’ll have you loving the snow by the time it’s gone,” he informed her. His confidence was a turn-on. It made her wonder if he ever questioned or wasn’t sure of anything in his life. “So, what about you?” Katherine asked. “What about me, what? Do I enjoy going to college a mere three hours away from my parents’ house?” “Sure, I guess.” “It’s nice, actually. It’s far enough away that they can’t just pop over unannounced, but it’s close enough that they can come to my games if they want to.” “Games?” she asked hesitantly, but assumed what came next. “I’m on the hockey team,” he said with such pride that she couldn’t help but feel proud of him herself. “Of course you are,” she laughed. “What’s wrong with hockey?” he shot back. “Nothing. I don’t know anything about the sport. But my roommate Taylor is completely obsessed with it.” “Oh, maybe I should be talking to her then,” he joked. “Sure, if you’re into perfectly gorgeous girls with amazing personalities, then go for it. I understand.” “You’re funny, California.” Katherine smiled at him before glancing around the crowded

party. “I’d better go find my friends.” She couldn’t see Taylor and Kylie any more and that made her uneasy. “I think your roommate—Taylor, right? She’s with my buddy Danny. They’re talking in the corner outside over there.” He pointed in their direction. “Do you see them?” Katherine spotted Taylor with a tall, muscular boy with really dark hair. The guy towered over Taylor’s 5-foot-4-inch frame. She happened to glance up as Kat looked in her direction and gave a wave that let her know all was well. “Hockey player?” Katherine asked. “Yep. He’s damn good too.” “Well, Taylor will be pleased.” Cooper smiled and she realized how perfect his teeth were. “I thought hockey players were supposed to have messed up teeth or something? Don’t you get hit in the face a lot?” “If you don’t get out of the way. But I actually like my face, so I don’t want it all smashed up. Because then pretty girls like you wouldn’t talk to me.” Katherine’s heart raced against her ribcage. He thought she was pretty? She understood cute, but pretty? She was so busy talking herself out of the compliment that she almost forgot to thank him. “Uh, thanks,” she fumbled, “for…saying I was pretty.” “Don’t thank me. Thank your parents.” “Oh my gosh, really?” she laughed. “What? It’s not my fault that you can’t see what I see.” His eyes softened as he looked into hers.

eyes softened as he looked into hers. Katherine’s pulse raced. “Do you see Kylie anywhere?” “Your other friend, right? The other blonde? I’m sure she’s here somewhere. She looked like she was on a mission.” “I’d feel better if I just knew where she was. Do you mind?” Katherine turned to walk away. “Of course not. But I’m coming with you.” He hurried beside her. They walked together searching for Kylie. It was the first time that Katherine wasn’t completely consumed by thoughts of her dream guy. Although she wasn’t sure why, being around Cooper made her feel completely safe. They finally found Kylie making out with some guy and Katherine breathed a sigh of relief. “You worry a lot, don’t you?” Cooper asked. “Don’t make fun. I’m not a worrywart or anything. I just like to know that the people I came to a strange party with are safe and not missing or anything. Don’t be a jerk.” She hit him in the arm playfully. “I’m not. It’s sweet. And smart. So I’ll just remember that you’re the smart one when it comes to your friends.” They shared a glance and she sighed, “Your eyes are gorgeous. I love the little speckle thing you have in this eye.” She touched the side of his face and flinched as electricity jolted through her entire body. Her pulse raced and she got entirely too sweaty for a girl. All she could think about was how nervous he made her and how it felt like her heart was trying to escape.

escape. “Which eye is it? This one?” He pressed her hand tightly against his face. “Yeah,” was about all she could muster. She found herself memorizing his eyes. She took in the exact color of green...and how they changed to almost yellow at the pupil. She thought it looked like a sunflower but didn’t want to tell a guy he had sunflowers in his eyes. “What the hell are you two doing?” Danny bounced up with Taylor close behind. “Seriously, you two. Get a room. That’s embarrassing!” Taylor teased. “Shut up. I was just looking at the speck in his eye. And...ah, never mind,” Katherine stopped trying to explain. “Kat, this is Danny. Danny, this is my roommate, Kat.” She turned to Cooper and said, “I’m Taylor. What’s your name, eye speck?” “Cute. Cooper.” “Cool name! Hockey?” Taylor spoke quickly, but he kept up. “Yep. But I’m way better than your boy, Danny, here.” “Funny, Coop,” Danny whined. “Let’s be clear…he’s NOT my boy,” Taylor snapped and shot Danny a glance. “YET!” Danny shouted at her. “Dream on, kid,” Taylor teased, “Where’s Kylie?” “Last time we saw her she was upstairs kissing some guy. I assume she’s still there?”

“We should get her and head home. This party is about to get broken up anyway. It’s out of control and way too loud.” Taylor grabbed Katherine’s hand and pulled her up the stairs, while Cooper and Danny watched them go, smiles plastered on both their faces. Katherine wasn’t sure how Taylor knew when a party was and wasn’t out of control, but it turned out she was right. As they dragged Kylie away from her boyfriend for the night, campus police rounded the corner. “You’re just going to leave without saying goodbye?” Cooper shouted toward her. Katherine noticed everyone staring at her, so she refused to respond. Her eyes darted from Cooper to the crowd of gawkers and then back to him again. Cooper looked around and quickly jogged to her side. He slid his arm around her waist and she felt her throat catch. “At least let me walk you home?” He practically begged, but Katherine couldn’t take any more heart-pounding or throat catching. She wiggled her body free from his hand and relished the air she could once again breathe. “I think we’re fine. Right?” She looked at the girls who shook their heads in unison. “See, we’re fine. I’ll see you in class, Coopertown.” “Bye, Danny-boy,” Taylor shouted back at him as she walked away. That night before Katherine fell asleep; she wondered if she would see her dream guy again. She wasn’t quite sure why, after

the night she’d just had with Cooper, she was even thinking about him at all. She wondered if she associated him with sleep, but knew instinctively it was more than that. “What are you sighing about?” Taylor asked her through a yawn. Katherine looked down from her bed and noticed that Kylie was already fast asleep. “Just wondering if my dream guy will make another appearance tonight.” “Already leaving Cooper in the dust for some guy you don’t even know? You’re one serious heartbreaker, Katherine Johns. But not for nothing, if you do dream about this boy again—that would be pretty awesome!” “I know! Not very realistic though, right?” “Who cares about reality, Kat? Geez, you’re such a downer.” Katherine snickered, “Goodnight, Taylor.” “Goodnight, downer-face!” Katherine lay her head on her pillow and promptly fell asleep. She awoke the next morning to the sound of Kylie rushing out of the dorm room. “Bye, girls! Had a blast! See you soon!” Kylie yelled and then slammed the door. “So? Did we have any appearances last night?” Taylor asked, as she walked out of the bathroom. “Yeah, your dad,” Katherine replied sarcastically. “Oh, you’re hilarious.” “I think so,” Katherine quipped. “But seriously, no dreams at all last night,” she added with a hint of disappointment. Taylor crooked her head, “I’m sorry. Are you sad?”

Taylor crooked her head, “I’m sorry. Are you sad?” Katherine nodded, “I know it probably sounds dumb, but yeah. A little. I just thought...I don’t know what I thought.” “That you’d see him again?” Taylor asked softly. “Yeah. At least I hoped,” Katherine admitted. “Well, there’s always Cooper. You think he knows he’s playing backup to a dream guy?” “Taylor. Be real.” “I am. Cooper is totally number two in this relationship and Dream Guy is clearly number one. Just saying you should give the poor guy some warning before he goes falling head over heels for you.” The very thought of it all made Katherine dizzy. Did she want a relationship with Cooper? She barely knew him. Was she willing to give up on Dream Guy because that’s what sane people would do? You can’t hold on the idea of some random guy from a dream your whole life. But then she reminded herself that that was no ordinary dream. Feelings and emotions that intense don’t just happen all the time. It all had to mean something. “Hello?” Taylor waved her hand in front of Kat’s face, “I just meant that he clearly likes you and if...” Katherine cut her off mid-sentence, “I get it, Tay.” “Oh hey, don’t get mad. I’m just playing.” “No, no, I’m sorry. It’s just that this is all too weird for me. And everything about both guys is really intense, really fast, and it’s just all kind of crazy, no?” “In all honesty, yeah. I mean it is crazy. And it is fast. But that

“In all honesty, yeah. I mean it is crazy. And it is fast. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Are you even interested in Cooper? I mean, is he your type?” Katherine remained silent while she stared at Taylor. “I’m only asking because I don’t really know what your type is?” Taylor quipped. “No, I know. I was just thinking,” Katherine responded. “Oh, well continue thinking then,” Taylor smiled. “I’m definitely attracted to him. And I don’t really know him that well, but from what I do know, I love that he’s an athlete because it means he has to do well in school and that he has some sort of work ethic, sense of responsibility and drive,” Katherine paused before continuing. “I really respect people who have passion for things. He seems really nice and funny. I mean, yeah...he definitely doesn’t lack any qualities that I like in a guy. But he also kind of scares me,” she added. “What do you mean? Scares you how?” Taylor wondered. “He makes me super nervous whenever I see him…and he makes me all sorts of sweaty just when he’s around me. No guy has ever had that kind of effect on me before.” Taylor laughed, “Dummy. That just means you’re attracted to him. Think you’re the only one who sweats when a hot guy gets close? It’s called chemistry.” “Well then, we’ve got it in buckets ’cause let me tell you…” Katherine started to laugh. “Thanks for making me feel less stupid about sweating around a hot guy.”

“Oh please! That’s what happens. It’s normal. I mean, normal if you’re attracted to him. And really, how could you not be?” “He is ridiculously good looking, right?” “Pretty much. So what’s stopping you from giving him a chance? I mean, he sounds perfect,” Taylor asked sincerely. “In all honesty? I sorta can’t get past the guy from my dream. It’s hard to let go of those feelings once you’ve experienced them.” She took a deep breath, “I feel like if I give Cooper a shot, then I’m giving up on my dream guy. And I’m just not ready to do that yet.” “Fair enough,” Taylor agreed. “You don’t think I’m being stupid?” Katherine looked up at her with eyes that said it all. She wanted—no, needed—Taylor to be on her side with this. “I don’t. I saw you that morning. And I hear the way you talk about him. I wouldn’t give up on him either if it were me.” “Really?” Katherine asked. “Really. I’ve never felt anything like what you described. Besides, he could still be real you know?” A smile spread across Katherine’s face, “You make me want to believe in that.” “Well you never know! Who am I to say what is or isn’t real?” “So what about you? And Danny?” Katherine inquired. Taylor’s face instantly turned rosy. “Oh yeah, he’s right up my alley. He’s adorable, funny and a total wiseass. I love that he can dish it out and take it. Most guys can only do the dishing, you

dish it out and take it. Most guys can only do the dishing, you know?” “Totally. So you like him?” “I’ll probably give him a shot.” “Jeez, Taylor, trying to date you is like trying to win the lottery.” “You have to understand the way most guys are out here. They are raised to hide their true selves under a ridiculously manly ego and crazy confidence. It is super annoying. They put on tough guy shows twenty-four hours a day. A girl gets tired of dealing with that all the time.” “That would get annoying. I’d be like, be real already!” “Exactly! But I can see right through Danny. He’s a big softy and he’s not very good at hiding it.” Katherine raised her eyebrows, “Poor guy has no idea what he’s in for.” “I know. Isn’t it great?” Taylor beamed. “You crack me up. I’m starving.” “Let’s go eat our weight in frozen yogurt.” “That sounds so good. And totally normal.” “Well we already know you’re not normal, so why not?” Taylor teased.

Chapter Three Days turned into weeks and Katherine’s dream guy still hadn’t reappeared. The details of the dream may have gotten fuzzy with time but her feelings were something she could never erase. Not

time but her feelings were something she could never erase. Not that she wanted to. But she found herself slowly letting go of dream guy and that allowed Cooper in. “I love that you get dolled up for the class we have with Cooper,” Taylor remarked. Katherine stopped curling her long brown hair and asked innocently, “What are you talking about?” “Don’t play coy with me, missy. You’re totally into him. Admit it! You only make yourself this cute when we’re seeing him.” Katherine blushed. “I knew it. You don’t even have to admit it.” “I hate you,” Katherine joked and turned back to the mirror. “No you don’t. But seriously, how great would it be if we dated teammates? We could go to all the games together. And double date all the time. Please just love him already,” Taylor whined. “You’re insane.” “Tell me that wouldn’t be perfect?” Taylor insisted. “It wouldn’t be perfect,” Katherine remarked. “Liar.” Katherine smiled. “And you were right before you know?” Taylor suggestively mentioned. Katherine raised her eyebrows, “About???” “About Cooper being a great guy. I’m over there all the time and he really is everything you thought he was.” Katherine felt her pulse elevate, “Well that’s good to know.”

Katherine felt her pulse elevate, “Well that’s good to know.” “Any appearances from dream guy?” Katherine’s face paled at the mention of him, “Nope. He’s just gone. I was probably stupid to think he was real in the first place.” Taylor grabbed Katherine’s shoulders, “You were not stupid. I’m the one who insisted he was real. I’m sorry.” “Don’t be. It’s okay,” Katherine fought against the mist that formed in her eyes. “So hey, Danny and I are going to grab some dinner after practice tonight. Do you think you want to come with?” Katherine knew what Taylor was up to, “That would be nice. Do you think Coop will be there?” “I can guarantee that if you’re going, Cooper’s going.” “Really?” the thought seemed so absurd to her. “Are you crazy, Kat, or just dumb? Cooper has been trying to get you to go out with him since the moment he laid his stupid speckled eye on you.” “I know. I just don’t get why,” she blurted out. “Sorry, I don’t mean that as bad as it sounds. I just don’t get it. Is he like this with every girl, or just me?” “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him tonight?” “Well have you seen him with anyone else? Does he talk about other girls?” Katherine pressed. “He talks about you. All.the.time,” Taylor rolled her eyes. “But whyyyy?” she let out a frustrated sigh. “Don’t you ever wonder why Danny likes you so much? You don’t do you?”

Katherine laughed at the absurdity of her question. “No! Obviously he’s smart. Only an idiot wouldn’t want to date me. And since I don’t date idiots, it all works out.” Katherine laughed, “Oh my gosh. Get out of here and let me finish getting ready.” **** The girls walked toward their dorm when they heard someone shout and a horn honk. They both turned to see Cooper and Danny yelling at them from Cooper’s black Jeep Wrangler. The top was off the Jeep and the guys were shirtless. “Do you think they know they look like a couple of douche bags?” Taylor pondered. “It might be our civic duty to inform them,” Katherine rolled her eyes towards the boys. “I mean, really...girls everywhere will thank us,” Taylor nodded with a smile. They ran over towards the lifted Jeep and Katherine felt dwarfed by the size of it. The oversized off-road tires made it really high off the ground and Katherine thought it made the car more masculine and fun. She thought it simply suited Cooper better, who looked incredible with his shirt off. Her eyes followed the traces of his broad, tan shoulders to his muscular arms. She lingered a little too long on his overly defined abs as Taylor cleared her throat. “So, guys, you know that you look like losers driving around like that, right?” Taylor informed them and Danny dipped his head down. “I’m just saying that we all KNOW you have

head down. “I’m just saying that we all KNOW you have amazing bodies...is it really necessary to drive around with your shirts off?” Danny looked up and said, “We just wanted to get a tan.” Katherine burst into laughter because his response was so sincere. “Well, you guys should go lay out or something, not drive around in the Jeep with your shirts off. You look like cocky jerks who are just trying to show off their nice bodies.” Cooper pinned her with his eyes and asked, “You think I have a nice body?” Then he turned to Danny and gloated, “See, I told you she wanted me.” “Oh yeah. She can’t stop dreaming about it, Coop. Every night she screams out your name while she’s sleeping. It’s getting really annoying,” Taylor retorted. “If that’s what it takes to get you to go out with me, Katherine Johns, I’ll take it,” Cooper said in his normal confident tone. “Will you at least put on a shirt?” Katherine asked with a smile as she looked into his sunglass-covered eyes. “Most likely, but I can’t guarantee that it will have sleeves,” Cooper negotiated. “Oh my God, where am I…Jersey shore? This is like a nightmare—Taylor, please wake me up.” “I’d wake you up, but you won’t let me do anything for you,” Cooper teased playfully. “Here we go again,” Taylor tossed her head back in mock disgust. “Taylor, will you please talk to your roommate and tell her to cut me some slack already. She makes me work way too hard.”

cut me some slack already. She makes me work way too hard.” Katherine was deafened by the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. “Maybe she wants you to work hard?” Taylor offered. “Then I will. I’ll do whatever she wants me too,” Cooper smiled at Katherine and her stomach twisted into knots. Katherine wondered why though, in the moments where she should be completely consumed in all things Cooper, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from drifting to the boy from her dream. The very thought of him snapped her into some subconscious world. It was as though she could literally feel him all around her. She knew that seemed crazy so she tried to enjoy the life that happened right in front of her. “We’ll see you guys later tonight,” Taylor said as she leaned in to give Danny a quick kiss on the lips. “Don’t forget about those shirts,” Katherine joked while she mimed pulling on a shirt. “Mmm, they do look good,” Taylor commented as she glanced back at the two guys in the lifted Jeep. “They probably have seat belt tans.” “I bet you’re right. We are so asking them later!” “And make fun of them relentlessly if they do.” “Of course.” “Did I tell you that Cooper’s parents have a lake house?” Taylor suddenly remembered. “No. Where?” “Oh it’s in Northern Jersey. It’s right on the shore. Apparently

it’s super nice. I think they have a couple of other houses too. I think his parents are loaded.” “That’s cool,” Katherine responded nonchalantly. “That doesn’t impress you?” Taylor marveled. “Not really. I don’t really care about that kind of stuff,” she hesitated and then questioned, “You don’t either, do you?” “Oh please. Danny’s broke as a joke. I could care less.” Katherine nodded in agreement, “It’s not about money. I was surrounded by people like that back home. As if having a ton of money made up for having a crappy personality.” “I know, right? Why are rich people such a bore?” “Cause they don’t have to be fun—they’re rich!” Katherine laughed. “You can’t buy chemistry,” Taylor noted. “AGREED!” Katherine practically shouted. “I just want that feeling you get when you know without a doubt that you’re supposed to be with someone. That connection, that no matter what you do, can’t be denied.” “Do you feel like that with Cooper?” Katherine’s cheeks burned, “I do. But I also felt it with the guy from my dream.” “Really?” “Yeah. Sorry, I hate that I keep doing that.” Taylor cocked her head to one side, “Doing what?” “I think I’m over the guy from my dream, but I’m not. It’s like he won’t go away. Everytime I think he’s gone, he reappears. Whenever I try to think about only Cooper, Dream Guy pops

into my thoughts. I feel like he’s planting himself in my brain so I won’t forget about him.” “I’m sure he’s not doing that,” Taylor eyed her sympathetically. Frustrated, Katherine took a deep breath, “Taylor, I’m making a conscious decision.” “Well, that’s a first,” Taylor responded in her typical sarcastic tone. “What exactly are we so conscious about?” “I have to put the guy from my dream behind me. He has to just go back to whatever part of my subconscious he came from. I can’t keep waiting for him to show up at Starbucks or something!” she huffed. “And I have to give Cooper a chance. He’s a really nice and good guy. And I’d be an idiot to let him walk away because I’m holding out for some guy I saw in a dream one time. Right?” Katherine needed Taylor to agree. “Yep, you’d be an idiot all right. But I still sorta think your dream guy could exist.” “Taylor!!!” Kat pleaded; her voice exasperated. “Fine, fine. Yes, you have to give Cooper a chance. Your country would want this. If you don’t date Cooper, the terrorists win. Happy?” “Perfectly,” Katherine smiled at Taylor and knew what she had to do. She had to get dolled up for the date tonight and really open her heart to Cooper. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to. If there were no dream guy, she was certain she and Cooper would have already been together. She was very aware that she

would have already been together. She was very aware that she set the pace for this relationship…or whatever it was. “I’m so excited!” Taylor wailed. “Why?” “Because! I’ve been waiting for this day to come. And Cooper is awesome. And you’re going to love him. And if you want to talk about dream guys…well, Cooper is one.” Music played in the background while the girls got ready for their dinner date. Every so often they’d stop what they were doing and break out into dance. Katherine tried on four different tops before she agreed with Taylor which one looked best. Katherine pulled at her straight brown hair and twisted it around the hot curling iron. She watched as loose, fat curls fell around her face. She added a shiny gloss to her lips and puckered. “Tay, are you almost ready?” Katherine shouted. “Ready when you are.” They headed out of the building and into the still evening air. Giant trees lined the pathway, leading them away from campus. The small one-story brick restaurant sat nestled between two larger, more contemporary buildings. “You know they wanted to pick us up, right?” Katherine perked up, “No. Did you tell them they couldn’t?” “I told them that we could walk. Plus, we’re not going to be able to for long. We actually have winter in this state.” “That cold, huh?” Katherine asked concerned. “Oh yeah. You’ll probably die.” Katherine gave Taylor a shove, “You suck.”

Katherine gave Taylor a shove, “You suck.” The restaurant was owned by an older Italian gentleman, in every sense of the word, named Dominic. Every time the girls walked in, he would greet them with hugs and kisses on each cheek and say, “Ciao, bella,” which meant, “Hello, beautiful.” Every so often he would slip and speak to them excitedly in his native tongue, forgetting that the girls had no idea what he was saying. Katherine always loved when he did that because she thought the language was so beautiful. When they walked through the door, the guys were already there. Dominic saw them and his eyes lit up. He hustled right over and greeted them with his usual flair. He spoke in his accented English that the girls had grown to adore. “You two are here-ah with the boys in the corner, si? They look-ah like perfecto gentlemen.” “Si!” Taylor said back. “You know Dominic, you really should teach us more Italian so we can sound just as sexy as you do when you speak.” The old man blushed and hustled the girls over toward their table, “Stop it, bella. You make-ah old man feel silly.” “Awwww, Dom. You know we love you!” Katherine said, giving him an extra tight squeeze. “You girls ah...are the best. You both look fantastico tonight! Have-ah fun.” He put his two fingers and his thumb to his lips and kissed them as if the girls were a perfect dish he had just created for royalty. Katherine couldn’t help but notice how Cooper’s eyes lit up

at the sight of her. She wondered if she’d ever get used to the way he looked at her and then she secretly hoped she wouldn’t. It didn’t escape her that he made her feel things too. For example, from the moment she looked over and saw his face, she hadn’t been able to stop smiling. And she started to get that familiar feeling she got whenever she was near Cooper Donovan. Her pulse raced and her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. If her body told her anything, it was that it really liked this Cooper character. Danny hopped out of the booth as Taylor jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist in the sweetest display of bear-hug and affection Katherine had ever seen. Everyone in the restaurant turned to stare, but the couple didn’t seem to notice or care. They gave each other a kiss before Danny gently placed Taylor’s feet back on the restaurant floor. “My lady,” Danny said with a bow as he directed her to get into the booth. “Kind sir,” Taylor responded with flair as she scooted in. Katherine moved into the booth so that Taylor was on her left and Cooper was on her right. “Your hair looks really pretty,” Cooper admired her curls and Katherine blushed. “Thanks,” she replied as calmly as she could. Cooper looked at her and smiled. Every time she looked into his green eyes, she felt herself unable to look away. She couldn’t help it, though. They were easy to get lost in. She focused mostly on the one with the speck in it. “Maybe that’s his only flaw,”

on the one with the speck in it. “Maybe that’s his only flaw,” she thought to herself. “Are we going to eat or are you two just going to stare into each other’s eyes all night?” Taylor interrupted. “Shut up,” Katherine said in response. “Actually, I’m fine with doing either,” Cooper said as he bit his bottom lip. Of course, that was just one more thing Cooper Donovan did that seemed to drive her completely crazy. She noticed the sweat again and cursed under her breath. “What was that, Miss Johns?” Cooper asked her. “Nothing, Mr. Donovan. You just...well it’s just that...you make me sweaty,” she finally blurted out, and then looked at Taylor horrified. She couldn’t believe she had actually said that out loud. Danny laughed as he turned to Taylor and asked, “Do I make you sweat, Tay?” “Not if I can help it,” she replied lovingly at him. “I can’t do anything right. I hate you, Donovan,” Danny moped. “Stop being such a wimp in public. It’s embarrassing,” Cooper razzed. “Ah, come on, Danny. Stop. Maybe my sweat glands just don’t work the same as Kat’s do. She is from California and all. Maybe she has like movie star sweat glands or something?” Taylor said sweetly. Cooper leaned over in the midst of all the chaos and whispered into Katherine’s ear, “I like that I make you sweat. It means you like me.”

means you like me.” His breath was warm on the side of her face and she felt tingly as she struggled to maintain her composure. She never knew that a whisper could make her feel that way; it almost stopped her from functioning at all. She had to remind herself to keep taking in air because breathing no longer came naturally. She looked over at him and said, “Don’t do that to me.” “Don’t do what?” His smile was virtually irresistible and he looked at her as though he could read every thought she ever had with just one glance. “Have I ever told you that you have gorgeous eyes?” She wasn’t ready to be complimented by him. She wasn’t ready for anything when it came to him. “No, you haven’t. But, thank you,” she responded, her breath catching. They ordered dinner and while they waited for it to arrive Katherine realized she didn’t really know much about Cooper. “I have to ask you about your Jeep,” she started off. “My Jeep? What about my baby?” “I was just wondering. Did you do all the work to it yourself, or are you the type of guy who pays someone to do all the hard things for you?” Danny and Taylor both shouted “Ouuuch!” in unison. Katherine didn’t try to be rude, she just wanted to see what kind of man Cooper Donovan really was. “For your information, I did everything to that Jeep myself. My dad helped with some things when I needed an extra set of hands, but otherwise, I did it all. It took me months to take it

apart and rebuild it.” “I’m impressed.” He winked at her before saying, “Me too.” She was flustered again. “So…how long have you been playing hockey?” “I’ve been playing since I could lace up my skates and get on the ice. My dad encouraged me at first, but then I fell in love with it.” “Do your parents pressure you to play? Do you get along with your parents? Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Katherine shot questions at him like a rapid-fire interrogator. “Geez, Detective…slow down,” Taylor teased before she turned to give Danny a quick peck. Cooper laughed in response before he answered, “I don’t mind. I’ll tell you anything you want to know Katherine. My parents don’t pressure to me to play at all. While my dad definitely encouraged playing as I was growing up, if I didn’t love it, he wouldn’t want me to keep playing.” He shrugged his shoulders and then continued, “They just want me to be happy, and if that means playing hockey, then so be it. I have a great relationship with my parents, but I don’t need to see them all the time. I like keeping them at a distance. Not because I don’t enjoy them, but I just prefer to be on my own. Does that sound terrible?” Katherine sensed that he might not be sure of how he sounded. It was the first time he actually seemed vulnerable since she’d met him all those weeks ago. “It doesn’t sound terrible at

she’d met him all those weeks ago. “It doesn’t sound terrible at all. I can totally relate. My parents are great, but I don’t feel like I need to see them or talk to them all the time. I love them and all, but I love myself and my freedom more…you know?” “Exactly,” Cooper responded enthusiastically. “I feel the same way. And yes, by the way, I have two brothers and one sister.” “Holy cow. Big family,” Katherine was an only child, so she thought anything more than one was a lot. She couldn’t imagine that many kids under one roof. “We are Irish,” Cooper joked. Katherine forgot she was on the East Coast where Irish and Italian families were prevalent. They were typically large with family members that lived close by and constant family gatherings. She didn’t feel like family life was the same in Southern California at all. “It’s so different here than back home,” Katherine commented. “Good different or bad different?” Cooper asked her while their food was being handed out to them. “Definitely good different. Probably because it’s all new to me. Everything is different out here, from the people, the buildings, the trees and even the food.” Katherine looked over at Cooper’s face before she continued, “But I love it and I totally appreciate everything that is different from what I’m used to.” “You’re different from what I’m used to,” Cooper remarked, giving her one of his trademarked looks. He threw his arm around the back of the booth and his fingertips gently touched a part of Katherine’s shoulder. She

fingertips gently touched a part of Katherine’s shoulder. She glanced back to make sure it wasn’t her imagination playing tricks on her. Nope. Those were definitely Cooper Donovan’s fingers that brushed against her bare skin. She tried to concentrate on breathing again. It was the obvious the way he affected her. It partly intrigued and excited her, but it also annoyed her. The last thing she wanted to do was to come off like another one of those girls who couldn’t contain themselves in Cooper Donovan’s presence. “So, California, any more questions?” he asked politely. “Actually, I do have one more.” Katherine looked at Taylor whose expression told her she couldn’t wait to hear this one. “Why does everyone treat you like a god or something? What is the deal with you?” Danny and Taylor laughed out loud. “It’s true, bro. he girls are ridiculous when it comes to you!” Danny blurted out while he still laughed. “Yeah, Cooper, why are you New Jersey’s freaking royalty?” Taylor added, as she mimicked a reporter with a microphone. Cooper just looked at them all and fell silent. He gave Katherine one long glance before he said, “I guess it’s the hockey thing.” He shrugged his shoulders. “People think I’m going places and I think they just want to come along.” “You are going places, Donovan,” Danny added and then turned to Katherine. “He’s probably the best this college has seen in the past ten years. He’s going pro and everyone knows it.”

Katherine smiled at Danny’s enthusiasm. “Is that true?” Cooper removed his arm from behind Katherine’s shoulder, and then crossed them both in front of his chest. “That’s the rumor. But we’ll have to wait and see.” “Is that what you want to do?” Katherine wondered. Cooper smiled, “No one ever asks me that. They always just assume that I do.” “So, do you?” “I don’t know,” Cooper answered nonchalantly and continued to eat his pasta. “What do you mean, you don’t know? Coop, come on. If the Rangers called you up right now and said they needed you to start playing for the team tomorrow, you wouldn’t go?” Danny asked in a surprised tone. “I’d give anything to be in your position.” “Well then I’d tell them to call my buddy D Rossi and they’d be in good hands.” “Ah, thanks man,” Danny said it so sweetly it made the girls giggle. “Great, I’m caught in a love triangle,” Taylor looked at Danny and rolled her eyes. He leaned in to kiss her sweetly and she let him. Taylor’s eyes opened wide and she quickly shouted, “Wait! Wait...I have a question! But it’s for both of you guys.” The guys smiled and only imagined what would come out of Taylor’s mouth. “Go ahead,” said Cooper. “Shoot,” said Danny. “Well, Kat and I were wondering if you guys could lift up your shirts for a second?” Taylor looked at Katherine and winked.

“What? Why? Our shirts?” the guys said, as they talked over each other. “Well after all your tanning and driving today, we were wondering if either of you got seat belt tans.” Katherine started to crack up uncontrollably and she turned to Cooper to try to lift up his shirt to see. “Seat belt tans? I don’t get it,” Danny responded, confused. “If you want us to take our shirts off, ladies, all you have to do is ask. You are the ones who told us to put them on in the first place. You two are giving us mixed messages. How are we supposed to ever know what you really want?” Cooper asked sarcastically. “Show us. Lift up your shirts so we can see!” Taylor demanded. The boys did as they were told and faint seat belt lines marked across their chest. The girls burst into hysterics and the guys looked down, shaking their heads. The group finished their dinner and the guys took care of the bill. The girls gave Dominic big hugs and kisses on the cheek before they left. The guys shook Dominic’s hand before he turned to the girls and said, “I approve, si. They seem-ah like good guys. Ciao, bellas!” “Ciao, Dominic!” the girls shouted in unison as they walked out the door.

Chapter Four

The weather had definitely started to change and Katherine noticed how chilled the evening air had become as compared to a few weeks ago. “I’m totally going to have to buy a real coat, aren’t I?” Katherine commented as she threw a sweatshirt over her head. “You don’t own a jacket?” Taylor laughed. “I’ve never needed one before.” “You can always borrow one of mine. I have a hundred. Cause we have seasons here. Do you know what seasons are?” Taylor teased. “We have seasons in California!” Katherine shouted defensively. “What? Summer and summer light?” Danny interjected. “You two are made for each other.” Katherine stuck her tongue out at the couple. “So, what are we up to now? Where should we go?” Taylor wondered out loud. “Oh wait, should we give you guys alone time? Yeah, maybe you guys should hang out by yourselves for a bit? Danny and I can head back to his place if you want?” Taylor looked at the budding couple. The thought made Katherine nervous. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be alone with Cooper, it’s just that she had a good idea where this headed and once again, her mind drifted back to the boy from her dream. She tried to shut him out, but no matter what she did, the thought of him always lingered. It was as if he existed in a part of her now and if she tried remove him, it would be as useless as if she tried to pull her own arm off. He was a

be as useless as if she tried to pull her own arm off. He was a permanent fixture. “Whatever you prefer, Katherine,” Cooper didn’t want to chase her away by being too enthusiastic, but he did crave alone time with her. “But I do have someplace I’d like to show you.” “Oh God Cooper, really? Let me guess, the stars in your bedroom?” Taylor said while she stuck her finger down her throat and pretended to puke. “Do you really think so little of me, Taylor?” He turned to Katherine and said, “It’s nowhere near my bedroom.” Katherine thought one last time of the boy from her dreams, took a deep breath and turned to Cooper and said, “I’ll go with you.” She gave Taylor a hug who whispered in her ear, “Have SO MUCH fun. Call if you need anything.” Danny gave Cooper some hockey guy handshake/fist bump thing and Katherine smiled as Taylor and Danny walked away from them, hands intertwined. “Ready?” Cooper grinned. “It’s not far, I promise. Are you cold, California?” “I’m okay, thanks.” They walked slowly and she wondered if he was going to try to hold her hand. Part of her definitely wanted that. Part of her screamed for it. But the other part, well the other part was clearly off limits. She wondered if she should throw all caution to the wind, be brave, and grab his hand instead …but she couldn’t do it. She needed to know that if Cooper Donovan’s fingers suddenly found themselves intertwined in hers, it was because he wanted to and not because she had initiated it. This was New

wanted to and not because she had initiated it. This was New Jersey’s royalty after all. The thought made her giggle out loud. “What are you laughing at?” he glanced over at her and smiled. “Just hearing Taylor in my head is all.” “Ah, I understand completely now. I like her, she’s funny. And informative,” Cooper grinned mischievously. “Informative? What are you talking about?” “She’s good at answering my questions, that’s all,” Cooper bit his bottom lip. Katherine’s eyes quickly darted away from his mouth. “Well, yeah. She’s the best. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” “You two are lucky you found each other. You should send flowers to whoever paired you up.” “Flowers? Really?” she responded playfully. “Or a card. I’m just saying.” He laughed and then gave her a little shove. She lost her balance far more than he had intended. He grabbed her by the arm to swiftly pull her back to him. He held her tightly against his body, “I’m sorry, California. Didn’t mean for that to happen.” His heart pounded through his chest against hers. “You okay?” Warmth raced through Katherine’s body as her heart sputtered. If there was ever a perfect moment for a first kiss this was it and she knew it. “I’m fine, sorry. It’s the shoes…and the feet walking in them.” She tried to regain her composure. “Come here,” he said as he pulled her toward him. “I’ll help from now on.”

He threw his arm around her and tucked her frame into his. She loved that he was so much taller than she was and she was surprised at how comfortable he was to snuggle into. She half expected a body that looked that chiseled to feel like stone, but it didn’t. “We’re almost there,” he told her. They were still on campus, but Katherine’s classes had never taken her to this part of the school before. She saw a gray stone building with columns and arches that reminded her of some sort of church. She still hadn’t gotten over how old everything on the East Coast was. The way the buildings looked were unlike anything she’d ever seen back home. They walked to a large, oversized oak door and Cooper tugged on one of the black iron door handles. “Is this a church? Are you taking me to church?” Katherine started to get nervous. It wasn’t that she didn’t like or respect church or anything. It was just that, well…she didn’t go. “I guess you could say it’s my church.” He unlocked the door. “Wait. How do you have a key to a school building?” “All the captains have a key to the rink,” he explained. She breathed a sigh of relief. He walked inside, hit one of the light switches and walked toward the first row of seats closest to the ice. Katherine followed close behind. She was in awe. She noticed the long wooden benches instead of individual seats. She quietly wondered how uncomfortable those got after long periods of time. “Wow. So this is where you play? It’s so old. When was it built?”

this is where you play? It’s so old. When was it built?” He looked at her and then looked around at everything as he spoke. “They built it in the early 1920s. It’s named after the school’s greatest athlete at the time. It was the school’s sign to potential students that they were ready to get serious about sports.” She looked around at the championship flags that hung from the ceiling. Cooper continued, “They redid it not too long ago, but it was important to the school administrators, the boosters, alumni, and the team at the time, that the look of the rink was to remain unchanged. You know what I mean?” He paused to look her in the eyes and let her know that it was important to him as well. She smiled slightly and nodded her head. “There is so much history here that no one wanted it torn down and rebuilt from the ground up. So the majority of the changes are behind the scenes. The locker rooms…the way the ice is refrigerated and cleaned….the lighting and the glass around the rink. All necessary updates, but you wouldn’t know it didn’t always look this way if someone didn’t tell you.” There were light fixtures that hung in between exposed steel beams. It was bigger than she thought it would be and far less extravagant. He explained to her how he thought the size was perfect because there weren’t any bad seats in the house. He took her around the whole rink and they sat in different areas just to prove it. “See? No matter where you sit, you’re never far from the action.” She agreed and smiled. She liked to see him talk about the sport that held his heart. He was excited, knowledgeable and

sport that held his heart. He was excited, knowledgeable and passionate. “You’ve seen the rink from every seat in the house. Now come see things from my point of view.” He walked her through a door and onto the ice. “Am I allowed to be on here? Isn’t this sacred ground or something?” Her shoes were slippery on the ice and she half expected to fall. He laughed, “Just look around, California. This is how I see things.” She imagined what it was like to be him in a game as she looked at every seat from every angle. She agreed his view was the best. “Tell me what you love.” He looked at her and her pulse started to sprint. “About hockey, I mean,” she clarified. He smiled. “I love the smell of the ice. When we first walked in here, did you smell it? And the cold. The sound the puck makes when it’s sliding across the ice or when it hits the net for a goal...as long as it’s our goal,” he smirked. “I love the sound of hockey sticks crashing against each other. The sound my skates make when I come to a hard stop. The roar of the crowd. The way I feel when I’m playing. I can do things on this ice that I can’t do anywhere else.” He looked at her. “How’s that for an answer?” “It’s perfect,” she told him. “You’re perfect.” Cooper looked down and gently tucked a strand of hair that was out of place behind her ear. Then he looked her in the eyes and angled her face up toward his. She knew what would come next. She closed her eyes and his

mouth was on hers. His lips were incredibly soft and his kiss was so gentle. He seemed to handle everything he touched with care. Especially when it came to her. His hand had moved to the back of her head and his fingers were lightly entangled in her hair. She lifted her hand and placed it on the side of his face. Her other hand was on his shoulder, partly for balance. She felt that kiss from Cooper Donovan all the way down to her toes. When he finally pulled away from her she kept her eyes closed for just a moment longer. When she opened them, he looked right at her and simply said, “Wow.” She couldn’t agree more. It was one hell of a “wow.” That was the kind of kiss people wrote books about…or made movies about. “I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but we should probably go,” he apologized. Her mind was so wrapped up in that kiss, she barely heard him. And Cooper couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He helped her off the ice and then took her hand in his. He led her up the stairs and out the door. He turned to lock the door and they walked silently for a few minutes before Katherine said, “Cooper, can I ask you something?” “Anything,” was his response. “Why me?” Her question was innocent enough. Hadn’t she witnessed girls literally throw themselves at his feet in the past? She just wondered what it was about her that made him like her so much. Plus, part of her really wanted to hear it. If he had to think about an answer, formulate it into words and then say them

think about an answer, formulate it into words and then say them out loud, then it would be real. “California, I wish you could hop into my head and see yourself through my eyes. Then you wouldn’t have to ask. But for the record, I’m extremely attracted to you. I have been since the first day I laid eyes on you.” “Speckled eyes,” Katherine commented, as she laughed. “Yes, since the first time I laid my speckled eye on you,” he laughed. They continued to walk and his thumb gently caressed her hand as he held it. “You’re different from the girls out here. You’re honest and that’s rare. I don’t feel like you’re trying to be someone you’re not…and you don’t apologize or make excuses for that. You are who you are, end of story. You don’t treat me the way other people do and I really like that.” He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. “You don’t know anything about hockey, which is great ’cause then you won’t be able to tell if I suck or not. Plus, you’re nice and funny and…” She cut him off mid-sentence; she couldn’t take any more. “Okay. No more. I know I asked, but please stop. It’s embarrassing.” “All right then, why do you like me?” he asked her in return. “Who said I do?” she said and then smiled devilishly at him. He stopped, and took her face into his hands. He leaned down and kissed her slowly and tenderly. She nearly fell this time. “You can’t just do that to me…my knees can’t take it. One of these times, I will fall.”

these times, I will fall.” “And I will catch you. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kinda strong,” he informed her. “Oh no, I didn’t notice,” she added. They weren’t far from Katherine and Taylor’s dorm and she was partly disappointed that the night was about to end so soon, and partly relieved. She could only take so many of those kisses from Cooper in one evening. “I’m sorry I’m bringing you back so soon, but I have to be on the ice at five tomorrow.” “In the morning?” she asked him, horrified. “On the rink with the roosters!” he told her enthusiastically, as he mimicked someone, but she didn’t know who. “Huh?” “It’s what my coach always says.” Katherine scrunched her face, “I’d tell him I’d rather be on the rink with whatever gets up later.” “Eh, I’m used to it. Just part of the job,” he winked at her when he said it. “Thank you for an incredible evening, Cooper. I had a great time.” She didn’t know if she was supposed to hug him, or kiss him again, or what. So she just sort of stood there. She didn’t want to seem too eager and she wanted him to make the rules. “No, thank you. Thanks for moving here and coming to my school and falling head over heels for me.” She interrupted his speech with a sarcastic, “Uh-huh,” but he continued to talk. As he spoke, he got closer and closer to her

lips. “Thanks for being gorgeous and smart and fun. And thanks for...” He leaned in and kissed her one last time before he finished his sentence. He made sure to wrap one arm around her waist. He knew that if her knees did give out he could catch her one-handed. His other hand was on her face, and it brushed the side of her cheek. Katherine’s pulse sprinted just as quickly as it did with the first kiss. But then it happened. An image flashed in her mind and she realized it was the guy from her dream. It happened so quickly, but she recognized him instantly. He looked hurt, or confused. It made her stomach flip and her chest felt like it had collapsed inside of her. She gasped and pulled back from Cooper. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He held on to her tightly. “Yeah. Sorry, that was weird. I thought I saw someone.” “Wait, wait, wait. You were kissing me with your eyes open? This isn’t a good start to our relationship, California. I think open-eye kisses mean we’re doomed.” He said it like a joke, but there was an air of concern in his voice. “No, no. My eyes were closed. It was in my head. I mean, I thought I saw someone in my head.” Katherine knew if she tried to explain this would sound as crazy as she felt at that moment, so she just stopped. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” “I’ll call you after practice.” He gave her a quick kiss goodbye and she turned to walk into her building. Just then a group of girls walked out and squealed when they saw Cooper. Katherine

stood there for a minute to watch the display. She could tell this sort of thing made him uncomfortable. “Hi, Cooper!” said one of the girls. “Where are you going?” asked another. “Yeah, Cooper, where are you going? Can we come along?” the prettiest of the girls asked. Cooper told them he had to go so he could be ready for practice in the morning. “We can help you be ready.” “Yeah, Cooper, let us help you.” The girls were relentless. They begged and pleaded and said the kinds of things that girls shouldn’t say. Cooper was nice, but firm. He told them goodnight and continued to walk. One of them pulled out a camera and it flashed in Cooper’s direction. Katherine heard the faint conversation about “his butt” and “how hot” he was and then a lot of giggles. She couldn’t believe the way girls treated him. She looked in his direction one last time and he looked at her. She gave him a quick wave before she turned around and headed into her building. Right before she walked through the door, her cell phone beeped. It was a message from Cooper. “Thanks again for the great evening. Sorry about the girls. Call you tomorrow.”

Chapter Five Katherine walked through the door and wondered if Taylor would be home from Danny’s yet. She heard Taylor’s voice yell

excitedly, “Ahhhh! Tell me everything! Did you kiss? Do you love him? Does he love you back? Dur, of course he loves you. Where did he take you? What did you do? WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME YET?” Katherine loved Taylor’s craziness. When she got this excited about something, it was really hard not to get excited with her. Katherine looked at Taylor’s face, which beamed with excitement and said, “He really is amazing. And those lips!” “So you did kiss! Who kissed who...tell meeeee!” Taylor whined. “He kissed me. It was perfect. His kiss was perfect…the moment was perfect...everything was…perfect.” “Is there anything this guy does that isn’t perfect?” Taylor asked her, but it wasn’t really a question. It was definitely more of a statement. “Seriously,” Katherine said in response. “So…what did he want to show you? I asked Danny what he thought it was, but he said he had no clue.” “Oh! He took me to the hockey rink. He told me all about it and why he loves it. He brought me on the ice and everything. It was really sweet.” “He brought you on the ice? Interesting,” Taylor said in a different tone. “What?” Katherine asked her nervously. “That’s kind of a big deal, Kat. He took you to the rink. He showed you where he lays his heart on the line every day. He took you on the ice. Hockey players don’t bring girls on the ice,

took you on the ice. Hockey players don’t bring girls on the ice, Kat!!!” Katherine just shrugged her shoulders and gave her a funny look. Taylor started again, “Ugh! Let me put this in terms you’ll understand. It’s like if you were dating a baseball player and he brought you onto the field. Guys don’t bring just any girl onto the field, Katherine. Don’t you get it?” “I get what you’re saying, but I don’t get what you mean.” “Cooper Donovan is totally falling for you. Can I spell it out any more clearly?” “And you can tell that because he brought me on the ice? You’re crazy, Taylor.” “Fine, but you’re doomed. He’s going to love you and every girl on this campus is going to hate you for it.” Taylor smiled at her. Katherine laughed out loud, but she knew there was an air of truth to what Taylor said. “If that isn’t motivation to start dating the guy, I don’t know what is,” Katherine smirked. “I’m tired, Tay. I’m gonna get ready for bed.” “Me too!” Taylor joined her in the bathroom and the girls washed their faces and brushed their teeth. Katherine fell asleep quickly, but not before she thought about the flash of the face she saw when Cooper kissed her. She couldn’t quite figure out why this strange guy wouldn’t leave her thoughts. She hoped that if it meant something deeper, he’d come back to her and explain it. She kept to herself the hope for him to reappear. Hadn’t she promised Taylor she’d get over him? Didn’t she just have an incredible evening with Cooper?

him? Didn’t she just have an incredible evening with Cooper? She fell asleep as she replayed every moment of that first kiss. **** Katherine walked along the beach. The air was warm and the waves crashed at her feet. She glanced in front of her and saw a short silhouette running toward her. Before she knew it, there was a golden retriever that playfully jumped at her and wagged his tail. She bent down to pet him and he started to lick her face. “Come here, Brody! Brody, come!” Her heart instantly started to hum and her mind raced to place the familiar voice. She glanced up and saw him smile at her. His muscular body was silhouetted by the sunset. Her hazel eyes immediately found his blue ones and her heart literally skipped a beat. “Sorry about Brody. He’s a really bad dog. His owner must be a schmuck.” She laughed, “It’s okay. I love dogs.” He reached out his hand. She grabbed it and electricity shot through her with a force so strong, she almost let go. Scenes suddenly flashed through her mind. Glimpses of life, but she wasn’t sure whose. He gave her a smirk, and chills raced down her spine. She knew that smile, but she couldn’t remember where from. **** She was jolted out of slumber by the sound a cell phone ring. “Hello?” she answered before she looked at the caller ID. “Perfect, you’re up!” Cooper said happily in her ear. “Well, I am now,” she whined.

“Get Taylor and meet us outside in twenty. We’re taking you girls on a picnic!” He was so damn cheery that it made her want to punch something. “Do I have a choice?” “Ha!” he laughed loudly into the phone. “See you in a bit!” He hung up and she looked over at Taylor who sat up in bed and wondered what was going on. “That was Cooper and Danny. Apparently, we’re going on a…picnic?” Katherine was tired. She wanted to tell Taylor that she had dreamed about the guy again but she decided to keep it to herself, for now. “Are you kidding me? That is so cheesy! But also kinda sweet.” Taylor mentioned that they should probably get up since the guys were always on time. “It is sweet, but Cooper Donovan on a picnic? Are you kidding me? Picnics, um, not very manly.” Katherine couldn’t for the life of her imagine either Cooper or Danny on a blanket eating out of a picnic basket. The thought made her laugh. “We should definitely make fun of them,” Taylor suggested, “but not until after we eat.” Katherine’s cell phone beeped and she looked down at the text from Cooper. “They’re here,” she shouted at Taylor, who had put her shoes on in the bathroom. When they got outside, the guys waved at them from the Jeep. A few girls waited to see who Cooper Donovan was picking up. They looked Taylor and Katherine up and down and then stayed to watch. It was too much for curious girls to resist.

to watch. It was too much for curious girls to resist. “You girls look so good walking over here to us,” Danny said loud enough for everyone around to hear. Katherine’s eyes met Cooper’s and nerves shot down her spine. “Yeah, but my girl looks the best.” Cooper said as he hopped out and gave Katherine a huge hug and a quick kiss. “No offense, Taylor.” The crowd of girls started to whisper when he said “my girl” and Katherine knew it was about to start. “Oh, please. We all know I’m ridiculously hot and you just don’t like blondes. Your loss,” Taylor remarked in her perfected sarcastic tone. The foursome drove away from the crowd of gawking girls. “If I see so much as the hint of a picnic basket, I’m outta here,” Taylor informed the guys. “Like really. I’ll jump out of this Jeep, I swear.” “We like you and everything but what kind of guys do you think we are?” Danny quipped in response. “The kind that apparently take their girlfriends on picnics.” “Well, as sweet and romantic as real picnics are, I’m sure...we have our own style of doing things. We just didn’t know what else to call it,” Cooper interjected. Katherine was relieved. “So, where are we going?” “Hold your horses, California. We’re almost there,” Cooper glanced at her and gave her a half smile. That simple look made her pulse race. She wondered if he’d ever stop having that effect on her. Cooper pulled the Jeep into a parking spot and the group hopped out. Danny and Cooper grabbed bags and a small

hopped out. Danny and Cooper grabbed bags and a small cooler out of the trunk. “Come on.” Danny threw his free arm around Taylor while Cooper grabbed Katherine’s hand and led her to a small patch of grass on the riverbank. Danny started to throw down a blanket. He knew Taylor was going to make some sort of sarcastic comment about how wimpy this made them so he cut her off before she had the chance. “It’s either this, or we sit in the mud.” “I’ll help you spread it out,” Taylor jumped up. “It’s really pretty here,” Katherine commented as she watched the water rush over the rocks. “Ah! You saw Dominic without us?” Taylor whined. Katherine turned around and glared at the boys. “No fair!” Cooper and Danny started taking out the deli sandwiches they had bought from Dominic’s restaurant. They pulled out a bag of fresh homemade potato chips with parmesan and truffle. Danny opened the cooler and took out some bottled waters, bottled teas, and soda. “This is really nice you guys. Thank you,” Katherine said to both Cooper and Danny. Cooper smiled, “But you still think we’re manly and tough, right?” Katherine eyed Taylor before responding, “That’s a tough one.” “Yeah, this isn’t really what tough manly guys do,” Taylor added. “It is when they’re not jerks,” Cooper piped back in

response. “Yeah! Just because we’re manly doesn’t mean we can’t be nice!” Danny protested. “You two make valid points,” Katherine noted. “Agreed. You’re still tough and manly and this picnic is hot.” Taylor scrunched her face and closed her eyes as Danny kissed her cheek. “So, how was practice?” Katherine asked Cooper. “It was good,” Cooper scooted his body closer to hers. “Coach is tough,” Danny added. “Oh, wah,” Taylor pretended to wipe tears from her face. “You are such a brat, Miss Taylor!” And with that, Danny jumped toward her, tickled her and pinned her down. “Now what are you going to do, little girl?” “Ugh, get off me. I hate you,” she yelled at him playfully and tried to push his manly frame away from her. “No, you don’t. You loooove me,” he kissed her nose. “Dream on!” “He is the toughest, but best, coach I’ve ever had,” Cooper backed up his teammate. “We have a practice game next Tuesday. Will you come?” He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Only if you stop looking at me like that,” Katherine admitted. Cooper leaned in and gently brushed his lips against her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. I want to look up from the ice and see you in the stands.” Katherine struggled for a response, but no words came.

Katherine struggled for a response, but no words came. “Of course we’ll come,” Taylor said with excitement. Katherine noticed Cooper still staring at her so she whispered, “I can’t wait to watch you play. I’m really excited.” He squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips, “Me too.” Danny stretched out on his back as Taylor placed her head on his stomach. “Ugh, it’s like laying on a rock,” Taylor joked. “Nothing but steel, babe,” he joked back and played with her blonde hair. Cooper stood and reached for Katherine’s hand. He gently pulled her up and led her to the edge of the river. He wrapped his strong arms around her from behind. She leaned into his body and felt the warmth he radiated. When he kissed the side of her cheek, her heart raced and she silently begged her body to not start sweating. Suddenly, a golden retriever ran up to the couple and barked incessantly in Katherine’s direction. She immediately pushed Cooper away and looked around wildly for him. She hoped beyond all reason that the guy from her dream would run up to get his dog. She imagined what it would be like for them to see each other in person for the first time. Was this what her dreams had meant? Was she about to come face to face with him? The anticipation and hope gnawed at her. Katherine scanned the distance when she heard a female voice yelling, “Sam? Sam!” “He’s over here,” Cooper yelled in response. The pretty girl ran over and grabbed the barking dog by the collar, “I’m so sorry. He never acts like this. Come here, Sam.

collar, “I’m so sorry. He never acts like this. Come here, Sam. You are such a bad dog!” The girl leashed up her dog, “He never does that. It’s so weird.” Katherine looked at the dog and felt her heart drop inside her chest. “It’s okay. He just startled me is all.” Katherine sat down on the blanket and stared at the ground as the girl left. Cooper sat down next to her and asked with concern, “Are you okay? Are you scared of dogs?” It seemed like everything he said made her laugh. “No, I love dogs. Not necessarily the ones you put in your purse, but…” her voice trailed off. “Those are called oversized rats,” Danny chimed in and Taylor hit him in the arm. “Hey! What if I want an oversized rat, mister?” Taylor asked him. “Then I’ll buy you one. But my dinosaur dog might eat it and then you can’t get mad.” Katherine thought about the dog, her dream, and her guy. Every time she started to get lost in her thoughts, Cooper would rein her back in. “Where do you keep going on me, California?” He asked her quietly, as he pressed his cheek against hers. She looked up at him and said, “Nowhere. Just thinking is all.” “About?” “Nothing much. Just that dog…and my dreams,” she glanced over at Taylor who gave her a look and shook her head. “Am I in your dreams?”

“You’re so typical Cooper. I thought I already told you she can’t stop dreaming about you and all that crap. You think I was joking?” Taylor quipped and Katherine was thankful for her interference. “I was just asking. Sheesh, Taylor.” Cooper kissed Katherine on the cheek and softly said, “I get it. No more questions.” The group lay in the sun for a while longer before they packed up and headed back to the dorms. Taylor and Katherine both had papers to write and the guys had to work out with the team. Once they were back in their room, Taylor cornered Katherine in the bathroom. “So, are you going to tell me what’s really going on?” Katherine gave her a look, “It’s nothing. I just had another dream last night with him.” “What? You dreamt of him again? How could you not tell me this? Kat, this is a big deal!” Taylor got excited again and Katherine wondered if she would regret telling her. “It was a super quick dream. Nothing happened. Like literally, he was there and then I woke up.” “Boring. But hey, if you dream about him any more, you have to tell me. Don’t leave me out.” “Okay,” Katherine agreed begrudgingly. Taylor narrowed her eyes, “Don’t leave me out. On another note, today was fun, huh?” “It really was.” Katherine’s heart warmed as she replayed the day in her mind. “Danny is so into you. It’s really cute.” “It’s nice to be adored,” she said, very matter of fact. “He

makes me laugh. And you’ve clearly won over that Donovan kid.” “It would appear so,” Katherine could admit that Cooper definitely liked her. “I like him too, don’t get me wrong. It’s just...” “I know, I know. It’s just this mysterious dream guy,” Taylor understood. “Just promise me you won’t give up on Cooper because you’re haunted by these crazy dreams, okay?” “Okay,” Katherine said reluctantly. “I mean it, Kat. Don’t do it. Cooper’s great and you’d be an idiot to mess it up. Plus I live with you, so if you go screwing up Cooper Donovan, I’ll have to hear about it from the whole freaking state. I can only take so much.” Taylor walked over and gave her a hug, “I love you.” Katherine was thankful that Taylor understood and she appreciated the fact that she didn’t have to hide anything from her. “I love you, too. Thanks for being here for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” “You’d be lost and have horrible friends.” “Probably.”

Chapter Six The sun set behind Katherine as the ocean’s waves crashed before her. She watched a group of dolphins jump playfully in the water from the bench she sat on. She couldn’t remember them ever being so close before. And then there was the moon.

It rose to her left and was spectacular. She wished she had brought her camera. “Next time,” she thought to herself. “Hey, stranger.” The voice cut through her like a sharp knife and she turned to see him above her. She almost choked as her heart leapt into her throat. His broad shoulders blocked out the setting sun. His facial features and hair looked as if someone drew them. Nothing was out of place. She had almost forgotten how flawless his skin appeared. And his eyes were such a radiant color of blue she wasn’t sure exactly how to describe them. He was the very meaning of the word perfection. She could barely get the words out to actually speak; she was too caught up in how he looked and how his presence made her feel. “Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you. What took you so long?” she asked nervously, unsure of what his response would be. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone. It’s hard to get through that steel trap of yours,” he joked. “What? Steel trap?” she responded, confused. “Oh, my mind?” “Yeah. You try so hard to see me that you end up blocking me out. Tonight was really the first night you fully let go. It made it easy for me to slip in and find you,” he informed her. “Of course, I understand why.” “Well, that makes sense, I guess.” Katherine smiled and her whole body filled with warmth and

Katherine smiled and her whole body filled with warmth and love. She stood up to hug him. He was taller than she was, but not by much. She guessed that he was probably just about sixfeet, maybe five-eleven. She wrapped her arms around his waist and refused to let go. Brody wagged his tail as sand scattered in every direction. “I’ve missed you so much,” Katherine told him, her voice shaking. This boy made her feel things at a level she couldn’t wrap her head around. Every emotion felt as if it was rooted in the very fiber of her being. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. There was no Cooper here. There was nothing but the two of them. “I’ve missed you more than you know.” He sat on the bench and she followed his lead. “This will be our spot from now on. When you want to find me, you’ll come here to this beach and sit on this bench. And I’ll always find you. I’ll always come.” “You promise?” she asked him, genuinely. “I promise,” he reassured her as he stroked her fingers. Katherine could feel her eyes welling up with tears. “What’s the matter?” he asked her and gently touched her face. “I’m not sure. I just have this feeling…like I’m going to lose you.” She felt her chest tighten and knew she was going to cry. “I’m not going anywhere.” He looked into her eyes. “I promise I’ll never leave you. I’m so sorry for what happened last time,” his face writhed with pain. “Last time?” The words stung with familiarity, but she couldn’t quite grasp what he meant. “Yes, in our last encounter. Or I guess I should call it our first

“Yes, in our last encounter. Or I guess I should call it our first encounter…or more accurately, your first encounter with me.” “Right. Last time,” she looked away from his gaze and settled on the sand at her feet. Her mind struggled to put the pieces together. She willed it to assemble this puzzle, but she couldn’t. “You don’t remember, do you? That’s okay. Control over your memories while we’re together will come with time.” She still had no idea what he meant, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was being with him. He smiled at her and she felt her heart melt. **** “Time to get up, sunshine. Oh, sleeping beauty. Nappy head. Wake up.” “What is that,” Katherine thought to herself. She could feel herself being pulled away from the beach…and the bench...and him. “I don’t even know your name,” she yelled out, but it was too late. She looked at the smile on his face one last time and then opened her eyes. Taylor stood above her. “Jeez, Kat. That only took me like twenty minutes. For the love, get up girlfriend, you’re going to be late.” “Taylor?” Katherine was confused. “Taylor, I was dreaming about him again. Oh my gosh. That was intense.” Katherine shouted out with a smile. She quickly realized what she said and her smile faded. “A dream. Dang. Every time I wake up, I’m sad all over again that it wasn’t real. But this time was different...”

“No way! Tell me everything,” Taylor sat on the edge of her bed. “It doesn’t make any sense. I’m not sure what this guy is. I mean, he told me that he would always find me. And that we had a spot. And I just have to go there anytime I want to see him. And what the hell is going on? It’s weird right? Am I making it all up? Is this crazy? Oh good Lord, what is happening to me?” “That’s a lot of questions all at once, Kat. So, um…yes, you are crazy. Duh. Yes, it’s extremely weird. But it’s also extremely cool. I have no idea if you’re making it up, but who cares? I mean, they’re just dreams, right?” Taylor responded calmly. “Yeah. But weird as hell dreams. And I mean, what about him always finding me? It was like we were having a conversation. He apologized for the last dream I had with him in it, but I didn’t know what the heck he was talking about at the time. Man, I’m so dumb when I’m dreaming!” “What? What do you mean…apologized? Like for going and getting himself shot, or what?” Taylor asked. “I have no idea. But he said he was sorry for our last encounter…or my first encounter with him or something. He made me feel like he knows me, but I swear to you I’ve never seen anyone as hauntingly perfect as him. He almost looks NOT real.” “That is weird, Kat. I mean, do you think this guy was talking to you...like…he could come back every night if you wanted him too and stuff?” Taylor asked; her voice intrigued. “I’ve never heard of anything like this before.”

heard of anything like this before.” “I swear, Taylor, I’m just as confused as you are.” “What about Cooper?” Taylor’s question crashed Katherine back into reality. “Oh, God. I don’t know. It’s like when I dream about this guy, there is nothing and no one else.” Katherine’s heart felt like it was ripping in half. She knew the guy from the dream meant more to her than anyone she’d ever known. But she also knew Cooper made her feel ways she’d never experienced either. “Do I have to choose? I mean, really? At this point...do I have to choose between them?” She knew the question sounded a little absurd. “I’m sorry, what are we choosing again? Between a real life super hottie and a guy that only appears in your dreams? I think the choice is obvious.” “Easy for you to say...you’re not the one having the dreams.” Katherine didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t sure how she felt, or what the rules were for something like this. Did she have an obligation to let Cooper know that she was seeing someone else? But that it was only while she was asleep? This was crazy and she knew it. Just because Dream Guy said he could come back, maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe it was all some crazy made up fantasy. “Maybe he’ll go away,” Taylor suggested. “I don’t want him to go away, Taylor. Do I tell Cooper?” “Tell him what? You’re dreaming about some guy you’ve never met and you want to have ten thousand of his babies? I mean, really Kat...even if you did tell Cooper, you think he’d just

mean, really Kat...even if you did tell Cooper, you think he’d just walk away from you? Not a chance.” “No, you’re right. I’m just being crazy. You should probably keep a mental ward on speed dial though. Just to be safe.” “Already done,” Taylor smiled at her. “Are you excited for the game tonight?” Katherine was grateful for the subject change. “Yes! I can’t wait! But Taylor, I’m not kidding when I tell you that I know NOTHING about hockey, so you’re going to have to help me out.” “You’ll be a pro in no time,” Taylor winked. As they walked across campus Katherine noticed Taylor giving other girls dirty looks. “What are you doing?” Katherine chuckled. “I am about to lose my mind on these stupid females.” “Huh?” Katherine looked around and noticed all the sour looks aimed in her direction. “It would be one thing if you were a total bitch or something, but you’re not. You’re normal and nice and they’re just mad that he didn’t pick them,” Taylor snapped. “Maybe they’ll like me once they get to know me?” Katherine genuinely believed that people were good at heart. She had been around celebrities in LA enough to know how other girls behaved when they were jealous. “God, you are so naïve! East coast girls can be really mean, Kat. They don’t care how nice you are. All they care about is that some California girl just rode into town and took their

property.” “Well, what am I supposed to do?” Kat started saying “hi” to all the girls who looked at her cruelly. “Oh my gosh, STOP doing that. What is wrong with you? These girls are not your friends. Stop being so nice to everyone.” Katherine laughed. “I’m not kidding. Saying ‘hi’ isn’t going to make them like you. It’s only going to make them hate you more.” “Well that’s stupid. And I’m not going to stop being nice so they can feel better.” Cooper sauntered up and took Katherine by the hand as he pulled her tightly against his chest. “Morning,” he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She immediately felt the heat rise inside of her. “Geez, Cooper, are you trying to start a riot?” Taylor glared at him. “It has to happen sooner or later,” he said before he looked at Katherine. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” “Oh it’s okay, I have my bodyguard Taylor over here.” Katherine caught herself thinking about the boy from her dream. She looked at Cooper and knew she should focus on what was right in front of her, but her heart wouldn’t let her. “That’s right,” Taylor said with attitude. Cooper laughed, “Coming to the game tonight?” Taylor looked at Katherine, “No, I think there’s a new show on we wanted to watch. You don’t mind, right?” “Oh yeah, that show looks amazing. Can’t miss it, sorry,”

“Oh yeah, that show looks amazing. Can’t miss it, sorry,” Katherine smiled at him. “Ladies, you’re breaking my heart here.” “Well, that was a stupid question. Of course we’ll be there. You think I want to see my boyfriend cry?” Taylor teased. “True, true. It’s not pretty, I’ve seen it,” Cooper remarked. **** “Come on Katherine. Hurry up! I want to get to the rink early,” Taylor whined. “I’m coming. What’s the rush?” “I want to watch Danny warm up. And I also want to get a good seat. People on this coast actually like hockey, you know.” Katherine appeared out of the bathroom, “Okay, I’m ready.” At the rink, Katherine followed Taylor into what she considered perfect seats and sat. She breathed in the cold air and smiled. “I just love being in here,” Taylor told her with a smile. “Oh, I see Danny!” Katherine looked around the ice for Cooper. When she spotted him she noticed him wink at her through his facemask. Her insides fluttered. The seats quickly filled up and before Katherine knew it they had formed the “girlfriends section.” It was the area of the rink where all of the girlfriends of the guys on the team ended up sitting. All the other girls knew exactly who Taylor and Katherine were, and exactly who they were there to watch play. “Hi, I’m Kristie. I’m dating Tommy. He’s number 39.” “Nice to meet you. I’m Katherine.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Katherine.” “Hey, I’m Taylor.” Introductions went all around and Katherine thought to herself that it was the first time other girls were actually being nice to her when it came to Cooper. She relaxed her shoulders and attempted to watch the game she knew nothing about. The crowd went crazy when the team skated onto the ice but nothing was louder than the cheers for Cooper when they introduced him over the loudspeakers. Katherine felt a glow of warm pride inside her. Cooper skated around on the ice effortlessly. The way he moved and stopped was as easy for him as walking. This was a side of him she didn’t see everyday. Being a hockey player brought out his tough edges. He couldn’t walk around and punch people on campus but on the ice it was a different story. He could be rough, aggressive, and powerful. And he was. She watched him slam people into the sides of the rink and wondered how they didn’t get hurt. She noticed the other team was always very aware of where he was and they tried their best to stop his every move. But no one could stop Cooper Donovan on the ice. He made goals, assisted with goals, and led his team to victory. Now she understood why people treated him the way they did. He was like a god when he played and it was incredible to watch. People wanted to be part of it because it was special. After the game the girls followed the other girlfriends downstairs into a secluded tunnel area. There was a door that

led to the locker room and it was the only way in or out. Katherine turned to Taylor and whispered, “Do you think Cooper’s parents are here?” “I didn’t even think about it, but I bet they are,” Taylor looked around. The door swung open as Danny and Cooper walked out together, smiling widely. Cooper’s eyes darted into the crowd as he looked for familiar faces. He spotted Katherine and his face softened. She started to walk toward him when she noticed a couple motion him over. He kissed the short, dark-haired woman on the cheek and gave the older, gray-haired man a hug. He looked back at Katherine and waved her over. She started to shake nervously with each step. “Mom, Dad, this is Katherine.” “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Donovan. It’s nice to meet you,” Katherine said with kindness. Cooper’s dad welcomed and greeted Katherine with a warm hug, “It’s nice to meet you too, Katherine. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Katherine shot Cooper a surprised look. “Yes, Katherine. Nice to meet you,” Cooper’s mother reached out her hand to greet her with a firm shake. Her tone of voice was cold and unfriendly. Katherine noticed Cooper’s eyes narrow in disapproval. He turned to Katherine before his mother could do any more damage and said, “I’m going to grab some dinner with my parents. I’ll call you later. Thanks for coming to the game,” he bent down and kissed her lips with longing.

Katherine blushed. Embarrassed, she quickly responded, “Of course. It was a lot of fun. ’Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Donovan. It was nice to meet you.” She spotted Taylor and rushed over. “Oh hey. Dad, this is Taylor’s roommate Katherine. She’s also Donovan’s girlfriend.” “So, you’re the lucky girl? Nice to meet you, kid.” Danny’s dad shook her hand and then pulled her in for a hug. “Nice to meet you, too. Are you sure you’re not Danny’s older brother or something, you look so young!” “Oh, I like this girl,” he winked. “You can have her,” Taylor joked. “I’ll take you both.” The girls giggled and Danny shuffled his feet. “Dad! We’re gonna get some food. Do you want to come?” “No. You two go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Taylor offered. “Are you sure?” Danny asked again. “Of course I’m sure. Plus, you guys need time alone. You can see me anytime. It was nice to meet you, sir,” Taylor smiled. “You too, beautiful. I’ll make sure he takes good care of you.” He threw his arm around his son and squeezed him tightly, “And if he doesn’t, I will.” Danny pretended to choke and his dad just squeezed him harder. He squirmed out of the choke hold and ran over to Taylor. He gave her a quick kiss before he headed out of the rink with his dad’s arm draped over his shoulders. Katherine and Taylor walked toward their dorm. “So, did you meet Cooper’s parents?”

“So, did you meet Cooper’s parents?” “Yeah. His dad was so nice, but his mom...” Katherine couldn’t hide her hurt feelings. “What about her? Was she mean?” “She was kind of mean,” Katherine explained. “She was super cold and not very friendly.” “Don’t read into it, Kat. A lot of the moms out here are overly protective of their baby boys.” “Really?” “Oh, I’m not kidding. They all claim they want their sons to find good girls but the truth is...no girl will ever be good enough.” “So, she hates me because her son likes me?” “First of all, she doesn’t really hate you. She just doesn’t think you’re good enough for her precious Cooper,” Taylor laughed. “Well that’s a relief.” Katherine understood, but she wanted Cooper’s parents to like her. She jumped when her phone rang. She looked at the screen and answered, “Hey, Coop. Aren’t you at dinner?” “Yes. I just wanted to apologize for my mother’s behavior and tell you I’m sorry. She’s like that with everyone. I think it’s an Irish mom thing. It just takes a while before she warms up to people. I should have warned you. I just didn’t want you to feel bad or take it personally, okay?” The phone was quiet. “Okay? Katherine?” “Okay. It just sucks,” she moped. He let out a quick laugh, “I know. But it’s not you. I have to go.” “Okay. Hey, thanks for calling.” Katherine hung up and

“Okay. Hey, thanks for calling.” Katherine hung up and looked at Taylor, “Well, you were right. Some sort of crazy Irish mom thing.” “Told you. But that was really sweet of him to call you.” “Yeah. He’s good like that,” Katherine agreed. **** Katherine walked into the dining hall on campus and looked around frantically for her friends. She hated standing alone in a crowd. Her eyes darted from table to table before she spotted Taylor waving her arm wildly in the air. Cooper elbowed Danny, “Slide down a seat so Katherine can sit next to me.” “So bossy,” Danny yawned before moving over. Cooper pulled the chair out slightly and Katherine sat down. He leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before returning to his food. Katherine looked at the plate in front of him and her eyes widened. “How can you eat all of that?” Cooper looked down, “I’m hungry.” “How are you not five hundred pounds?” Katherine shook her head. “Oh Kat, speaking of food—I keep meaning to ask you, are you going home for Thanksgiving?” Taylor wondered as Cooper instantly perked up. “Huh? Oh no. I can’t fly all the way to California for Thanksgiving. But I’ll go home for Christmas. Why?” “Were you ever going to tell me that?” Taylor chastised her.

“Um, probably when it got closer,” Katherine told her politely. “Katherine, it’s in two weeks! How do you not know this?” “Okay, sheesh. Taylor, I’m not flying home for Thanksgiving. I’m staying here. Happy now?” “I’ll only be happy if you agree to come home with me.” Before Katherine could answer Taylor added, “It’s not really a question because you don’t have a choice.” “She could always come home with me,” Cooper interjected. Cooper Donovan had just invited her to his house for a holiday meal. She just about choked on her food. “Oh yeah. I’m sure your mom would love that,” Katherine blurted out. She tried to recover and quickly added, “I mean, I really want to meet Taylor’s family.” She stumbled, “Not that yours isn’t great, it’s just that I think I’d feel more comfortable at Tay’s house, you know?” “It’s fine, California. I get it.” He threw his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “My family isn’t good enough for you. It’s okay.” “Don’t say that. That’s not what I...” He cut her off with a kiss. “I’m teasing,” he comforted her. “And what did I tell you about my mom?” “That she’s like that with everyone,” Katherine sighed. “Exactly. So please don’t take it personally. She’ll love you soon enough.” Katherine smiled, but she wasn’t so sure. “Don’t worry, Kat. My mom will be nice to you,” Taylor said

“Don’t worry, Kat. My mom will be nice to you,” Taylor said snidely, and looked in Cooper’s direction. Cooper made a face at her and she stuck out her tongue. “Don’t look at me like that, Donovan. It’s not my fault your mom’s mean,” Taylor said through her laughter. “My mom just loves me more than your mom loves you,” Cooper noted. “Well, that’s probably true.” The laughter faded into the background as Katherine’s thoughts drifted. She found herself excited at the idea of leaving campus for awhile. “I’m really excited Taylor. Thank you,” Katherine beamed.

Chapter Seven Cooper and Danny came over to see the girls off and say their goodbyes. This was going to be the longest they’d been apart since they started to date. Katherine was amazed at the amount of people in the parking lot. It almost felt like the first day of school. She looked around and noticed that no one glared in her direction. It seemed as though Cooper Donovan having a girlfriend wasn’t front-page news any more. She was thankful. Danny squeezed Taylor, “I’m going to miss you so much.” “You can’t miss me if I’m dead,” she choked out. He loosened his grip and then kissed her sweetly. Cooper and Katherine were engaged in their own public display of affection. They looked into each other’s eyes, and didn’t speak a word. She put her hand on the side of his face

didn’t speak a word. She put her hand on the side of his face and rubbed her thumb near his eye with the speckle. “I’ll miss this eye,” she said and then kissed just above it. “Only this one?” he smiled at her. “Uh-huh. I totally play favorites.” “Me too.” Cooper picked her up and kissed her. His soft lips brush against hers. “I’ll miss you.” The words came out so sweetly that she knew he genuinely meant them. “I’ll miss you, too.” Even though part of her heart was somewhere else, other parts of it were reserved exclusively for Cooper Donovan and Katherine recognized that. She loved the way she felt when she was around him. The guys grabbed the bags that were on the ground and packed them into the trunk of Taylor’s car. “You have enough gas right?” Danny peered in to look at her gas gauge. Taylor swatted at his head, “I’m not an idiot. I know how to drive. God, you’re annoying.” Cooper leaned into the window and gave Katherine one last kiss before he paused to look into her eyes. “Out of the car, Donovan, before you lose your head,” Taylor lipped. Taylor started to back out and was about to hit the gas pedal when she heard, “You know I’m totally in love with you, Taylor Dailey!” Danny had just yelled the “L” word...in a parking lot…at school…in front of a bunch of people. Taylor slammed on the breaks, put the car in park, jumped out and hopped into his waiting arms.

waiting arms. “I love you too,” she admitted. Cooper jogged over to Katherine and laughed. Her body tensed. She hoped and prayed he wasn’t going to tell her the same thing. She wasn’t ready for that. She knew she cared about Cooper Donovan, but she wasn’t sure she loved him. She wasn’t sure she could. How can you only give part of your heart to someone and call it love? “Please don’t say it, please don’t say it, please don’t say it,” she repeated in her head. “Danny’s crazy. That kid has no shame,” Cooper huffed. Katherine watched as his heavy breathing made his chest go in and out. Sometimes she found it hard to get past that body. “I just wanted to tell you one last time that I’ll miss you.” He hesitated, “And steal another kiss.” He put his head through the window and desperately clutched a fistful of her hair. He kissed her like her needed her. His mouth searched for comfort in hers. She felt dizzy with desire. Taylor hopped back into the car, stopping their kiss cold. Katherine’s lips suddenly felt empty. “See ya later Cooper,” Taylor hinted. Cooper backed out of the car as Taylor hit the gas. Katherine locked eyes with him as he faded into the background. “So, how’s it feel to be in love?” Katherine teased. “Ha! That was crazy! I can’t believe he did that. He’s such a dork. But I’m on cloud nine right now if you want to know the truth,” Taylor glowed.

The girls laughed, sang and talked while they drove the mere hour and a half to Taylor’s house. Taylor didn’t say much about her family. The whole “I love you” thing had sent her down a different path. Katherine sang along with a song on the radio as she felt the car slow. She noticed a long, dirt driveway up ahead. Taylor turned onto it and pulled behind the house. “We’re here!” Taylor jumped out of the car as the front door opened. An attractive older man with brown hair and twinkling blue eyes suddenly appeared. “Katherine, this is my dad, Jack. Dad, this is my roommate, Katherine.” “Nice to meet you,” Katherine smiled and held out her hand. “We hug in this family. Come here, girl.” Taylor’s dad gave her a giant bear hug. Katherine immediately liked him. “And you can call me Dad, too. Or Jack. Whichever you prefer.” “Thanks, Dad.” She looked at Taylor and informed her, “It’s just easier to call him ‘Dad.’ Plus it’s more fun.” “It’s totally more fun,” Taylor agreed. “You never told me your dad was so hot. Why were you holding out on me?” “Gross. You would know, you’re the one who was dreaming about him, remember?” Taylor joked. “I’ll get your bags, girls...go inside and say hello to your mother and brother.” “Thanks, Dad!” “Thanks, Mr. Dailey!” The girls ran inside the house and yelled for Taylor’s mom.

The girls ran inside the house and yelled for Taylor’s mom. They found her in the kitchen. Her short brown hair and kind eyes lit up at the sight of the girls. “Oh, hi girls! Taylor, you look too skinny! Have you been eating?” she quipped. “Yes, Mom. Jeez. I do eat, ya know. Katherine, please inform the woman of my eating habits.” “Oh, she eats. It’s a wonder she isn’t three hundred pounds.” “Mom, this is my roommate slash comedian friend, Katherine.” “Hi, Mrs. Dailey. It’s really nice to meet you. Thanks for letting me come over, I really appreciate it.” “Oh Katherine, call me Janice, please. And we’re just so happy to have you.” She gave Katherine a quick squeeze before she turned to Taylor. “Your brother is out back in the barn. Go find him will you and let him know you’re here? Maybe you can get him to go out with you girls sometime this weekend? You think he’ll go?” Katherine noticed the tone of the conversation changed and she wondered if something was wrong with Taylor’s brother. She imagined he had some sort of deformity or clinical issue where he never left the house. “You have a brother?” Katherine asked through her confusion. “Yep. Let’s go see him,” Taylor pulled Katherine by the arm into the back yard. “Taylor, your back yard is amazing. I can’t believe you have a barn. And horses! You never told me you had horses!” She

barn. And horses! You never told me you had horses!” She glanced to her left, “And a trampoline?” Katherine got excited, “What else don’t I know?” “Plenty. Let’s go find Blake first.” Katherine wanted to ask her if there was something wrong with Blake. She wanted to be prepared for what she was about to see or experience. She wanted to brace herself and not give away whatever she was going to feel with her expression. “Wait, Taylor...is there…” They rounded the corner into the barn before Katherine could ask anything. “Sis!” Blake stood up from a makeshift poker table where he sat with friends. He was taller than Taylor and had the same sandy brown hair as his mother. He was cute for a high school boy. He had an athletic build and a familiar face. Katherine thought to herself, “Huh. Doesn’t look like anything is wrong with him. Weird.” “Hey, little brother,” They hugged and their bond was immediately apparent. “Blake, this is my roommate, Katherine. Katherine, this is my little brother, Blake.” Taylor looked around at the rest of the guys in the room, “And these are all of his degenerate friends.” The group of guys all started to talk smack at Taylor, but she dished it right back. “Hi, Katherine. It’s nice to meet you.” Blake was more reserved when it came to Katherine. “Hi, Blake. It’s nice to meet you.” “All right, B, I’m going to show Kat the rest of the house and

stuff. We’ll come back out to see you later…and kick your butts in poker!” The girls started to turn and walk out of the barn. “Tay?” Blake called after her. Taylor turned around and looked at him. “I’m glad you’re home,” he said sweetly. “I missed you too, Blakey-Face.” “He seems sweet. You guys have an amazing relationship,” Katherine commented. “When our brother died we only had each other. Our parents could barely get through the day, let alone deal with us.” “What? You had a brother who died? I had no idea. Taylor, when did this happen? I’m so sorry.” Katherine was shocked she knew nothing about this and wondered why Taylor had never told her. She thought maybe she should have been warned of what she walked into, but she couldn’t blame Taylor. I mean, how do you bring up the fact that your brother died? When is that ever the perfect story to tell? “It was a little over two years ago. Austen, that was his name, was sleeping in the passenger seat and his friend Tony was driving. It was a really stormy night and there was this big rig. The driver hit something in the road and he lost control. He cut off their car and there was no time for Tony to react. They said he didn’t even have time to hit the brakes, it all happened so quickly. Tony and Austen died instantly.” Taylor took a breath before she continued. “Our parents fell apart. Our town fell apart. I know you wouldn’t know it, but my parents are just now starting to get some sense of normalcy back. Blake and Austen were close. And when Austen died,

Blake was never the same. He stopped playing baseball. He stopped going out. He stopped living his life. And I’m so worried that he’ll never be the way he used to. And I don’t know how to fix him.” She got emotional and Kat put her hand on her shoulder. “I was a wreck for so long, but I knew that I couldn’t just curl up in a ball and die, right? Austen wouldn’t want me to give up on my dreams of going to college. But it’s hard. Every day is hard. He was my older brother and I looked up to him and admired him and I miss him more than I can ever tell you.” Katherine cried while she listened and Taylor cried through it all. There hadn’t been nearly enough time to get over a loss like that. Katherine reached over to hug Taylor and the embrace made them both cry even harder. “I’m sorry, Katherine. I know I should have told you sooner, but it was never really the right time.” “It’s okay. I totally understand. I’m happy to know now.” Katherine realized that Taylor’s behavior toward guys suddenly made sense. She couldn’t get hurt or deal with loss if she didn’t let them in. The girls walked together and wiped at their tears. Taylor showed Katherine around the simple four-bedroom house. She told her she could sleep in the guest room, but Katherine opted to sleep with Taylor in her room. She liked the way Taylor’s house felt. It was comfortable. It felt lived in and loved. It reminded her of home. That night at dinner, Taylor’s parents asked about Danny.

That night at dinner, Taylor’s parents asked about Danny. Taylor’s face lit up. “He’s so great, Mom. You’ll love him. He’s cute and funny and he totally adores me. And Dad, he’s a hockey player.” Her dad just smiled and said, “Of course he is, dear,” and he patted her shoulder. Blake sat there and looked at Katherine, but never said a word. He listened to the girls talk and smiled every once in a while. Katherine thought he looked familiar, but she couldn’t place from where. She tried not to stare. “What about you, Katherine? I heard you’re dating some hockey stud, or something. Isn’t that right, Taylor?” “She’s dating THE hockey stud of New Jersey, Mom, get it right,” Taylor added. “Oh, sorry. So what’s he like?” Taylor’s mom asked a lot of questions. Katherine noticed the deep sadness that clouded her eyes. She couldn’t imagine how painful it must be to lose a child. She wondered if you ever got over something like that, or if you were always damaged beyond repair. Katherine assumed it was the latter. “He’s really great. He’s super nice and confident and ridiculously hot,” Katherine laughed when she said it. The conversation flowed as Taylor told stories about how the girls on campus acted around Cooper. “They treat him like that?” Blake finally spoke up. “He must love it.” “Actually, to be honest, I think it kind of bothers him,” Katherine responded. She felt like she knew Cooper well

Katherine responded. She felt like she knew Cooper well enough at this point to speak for him. “What? Why?” Blake’s eyes squinted and his mouth smirked. “Girls throwing themselves at you everywhere you go? People giving you things, treating you like royalty? What’s the problem?” Taylor interjected, “Oh little brother, you would think that stuff is soooo cool. But it’s actually kind of annoying. I feel bad for him whenever we’re out. You can tell that he just wishes people would leave him alone.” She gawked at Katherine. “Well, most people.” Katherine flinched. “I think he just wants to be treated like everyone else.” “Well, I still think it sounds cool,” Blake imagined. “You should come visit us one weekend and hang out,” Katherine suggested. “Cooper would love to show you around,” she added. “Definitely!” Taylor agreed. “Why didn’t I ever think of that?” Blake smiled and nodded his head while their parents shared a look of relief. The girls insisted on doing the dishes and Blake went back out to the barn. Katherine turned to Taylor and asked, “So, does he hang out in the barn a lot?” “Yeah. His friends are always over and I think it’s easier to be out there than in the house, you know? Especially when I’m away.” Taylor knew it was hard for Blake to be in the house around their parents. Everything brought back memories of Austen. It was still a painful topic. “I wish you could have met

him, Kat. You would have loved him. Everyone did.” Katherine was sure Taylor was right. The girls headed out to the barn to play a couple of hands of poker with Blake and his buddies. One of his friends, Matty, had a huge crush on Taylor. He was adorable with short black hair, tan skin, and dimples to die for. He watched Taylor’s every move and would touch her whenever she’d let him. “Okay, Matty, enough.” Taylor looked at his dimpled face and pinched his cheek. “If only you were older,” she flirted with him. “I’m getting older every day, Taylor.” Matty was cocky. “You know we’ll end up together one day.” Taylor laughed. She loved this kid like a brother and she wasn’t blind. He was good-looking and it would be a lie if she said she didn’t like the way he crushed on her. “Gross. I’m sitting right here,” Blake interrupted the potential love fest. “That’s my sister and you’re my best friend.” “Which means we’ll be brothers someday,” Matty winked at Taylor and she started to laugh. “I win! You guys suck.” Taylor threw her cards down and stood up from the table. She kissed her brother on the cheek and bent down to tease Matty a little. Then she gave him a peck on the cheek too. “Goodnight, guys.” The girls got up and walked out of the barn. “Katherine’s cute,” Blake said, once the girls were gone. “Yeah, so is your sister.” Blake punched Matty in the shoulder. “Whaaat?” He laughed and Blake gave him a dirty look.

look. The girls got ready for bed separately Katherine looked around Taylor’s room while she waited. Taylor had books hidden everywhere…on the bookshelf, in the closet, on her dresser, on the floor. Katherine tried to take it all in when she noticed a picture of Taylor smiling and laughing on the back of a boy who was doing the same. The picture was taken at the beach. Katherine’s heart stopped. She did a double take. She grabbed the picture to get a closer look. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be. She knew those eyes. She knew that smile. Taylor walked into the room as Katherine struggled to calm her nerves. “Taylor, who is the guy in this picture with you?” Katherine stuttered. “That’s my brother Austen. He was gorgeous, wasn’t he?” Katherine felt light headed and dizzy. The sound of her heart raced in her ears. “Kat? What the heck is wrong with you? Are you all right?” Taylor asked. Katherine stumbled to the edge of the bed and fell onto it. Taylor sat next to her, “What is it? Kat, you’re white as a ghost. What is going on? Are you okay?” Tears streamed from Katherine’s eyes as she shook her head. She mumbled something about “this can’t be” and “I don’t understand.” Her hands trembled as she gripped the picture. Taylor pleaded, “Please. Katherine, what it is?” Katherine slowly lifted the picture and handed it to Taylor.

Katherine slowly lifted the picture and handed it to Taylor. She tried to explain through her sobs, “That’s him, Taylor. The guy…in the picture with you.” “My brother Austen? He’s who? Who, Katherine?!” Taylor’s eyes widened as the realization crashed into her. She rose from the bed and took three steps backward, almost falling over. “The guy from your dreams?” Taylor asked it so softly, Katherine barely heard her. “Yes. That’s him!” Katherine pointed at the boy in the picture. “That doesn’t make any sense, Kat.” Taylor paced around the room. “It can’t be him. There’s no way. Look again!” Katherine knew she didn’t need to look again, but she wanted to appease Taylor. “That’s the boy from my dreams. I’m positive.” Taylor plopped onto the floor, her head shaking. “No. I just...it can’t...” Katherine didn’t know what to do or what to say. She watched Taylor go through various emotions and felt guilty for inflicting them. Taylor talked softly to herself as she cried. She glanced toward Kat and said, “It just doesn’t make any sense.” “I don’t understand it, either.” She longed to comfort Taylor, but didn’t know how. She was suddenly scared that this realization was going to ruin everything. “Taylor, please don’t be mad. I’m sorry.” The thought of losing her closest friend terrified her. “Why the hell would I be mad at you, Kat? It can’t be my

brother. I mean, why would you dream about him? He doesn’t even know you? Or he didn’t even know you. And...this whole thing is just crazy.” Katherine cut her off, “I don’t know. But I promise you that the guy in this picture with you right here is the guy I’ve been dreaming about.” Taylor breathed in deeply and slowly exhaled, “I believe you. But I’m a little weirded out right now. It’s a lot to take in and I just don’t understand.” “Is there anything I can do?” Kat asked. “I don’t think so,” Taylor looked away and stared at the wall. “Do you hate me?” “Why would I hate you? Stop it.” Taylor fell silent. “I’m just trying to make sense out of something that makes no sense at all.” Katherine knew she couldn’t do anything but wait for the shock and disbelief to wear off. But what if it never did? What if Taylor was weirded out forever? She didn’t realize it yet, but amid all of her confusion, there was a small spark of happiness. She finally knew his name. They sat in silence for a long time. “I just don’t understand,” Taylor grabbed at her head. “My head hurts. My heart hurts. My brain hurts,” she rubbed her temples. “I think we should just call it a night. Maybe if you see my brother you can ask him just what the hell is going on?” “I’m really sorry, Taylor. I feel like this is all my fault.” Katherine didn’t want to cause Taylor pain.

Katherine didn’t want to cause Taylor pain. “You didn’t do anything, Kat. Let’s just go to sleep.” **** Katherine did her best to think of the beach and the bench as she drifted off to sleep. She saw Austen’s shadow in the distance. She stayed on the bench and watched as the shadow grew closer. Brody bounced up to her and wagged his tail. She planted kisses on the top of his nose. She heard Austen’s footsteps as he approached, but she was too nervous to look. “I should have told you,” he sat down next to her. “Why would you do that to me? To Taylor?” One look into those eyes and she knew she couldn’t stay mad at him. “I’m really sorry. Let me try to explain.” He took her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes. “I’m listening.” It was pointless to try to fight his requests. Everything about him compelled her. “Obviously, I watch over my family. I keep an eye out for them. I wasn’t ready to leave when I died, but I had no choice. I went to visit Taylor and I saw you there. I couldn’t believe it was you.” “What do you mean?” “I recognized you instantly. All of our lives flashed inside my mind in a split second. I felt a pull so strongly toward you that I almost couldn’t stop it.” “Wait. Lives? What do you mean our lives?” She searched for answers as to why he called to her with such intensity. “We’ve lived many other lifetimes together, Katherine. Think about it.” He urged her to explore a concept that her mind could

about it.” He urged her to explore a concept that her mind could barely wrap itself around. “Other lifetimes? You mean, like reincarnation? Past lives and stuff?” She wanted to understand what he meant, so she listened to every word he spoke as if she’d never get the chance to hear it again. “Exactly. If you really think about it, it makes perfect sense. Why our feelings are so intense. How we’re drawn to each other in ways we can’t explain. Why we know certain things about one other without them being said. Our souls are connected,” he tried to explain. “I want you to understand all of this, but I know I’m probably only confusing you,” he added with a hint of desperation in his voice. “I’ve never really thought about it before,” Katherine admitted. “Past lives I mean.” “Before this life—the one we’re living right now, there was a different life. It was years ago and in another state, but we were together. And before that life, there was a previous one. You and I have spent many of our lifetimes together, Katherine.” ”When you say it like that, it makes sense. Like, it feels logical to me.” “Really?” Austen’s face brightened. “Well if we lived other lifetimes together, then our souls would recognize each other, right? I mean, even if our minds didn’t.” Austen smiled, “Exactly.” “Is that why I feel the way I do when I’m around you?”

“How do you feel?” he pressed. “I feel things I’ve never felt before. I can’t even put the emotions into words because I don’t know how. It’s like you call to me. But it’s deeper than that. I don’t know how to explain it,” Katherine struggled. “I understand completely.” “You do?” “Of course. Katherine, I tried to fight the urge to communicate with you, but it was pointless. I wasn’t strong enough to stay away. The moment I saw you, I was drawn to you like a magnet. We’re not supposed to interfere like that. You know? It’s really not allowed,” Austen informed her. “What do you mean, not allowed?” “Well, we’re allowed to communicate with our loved ones. But we’re not supposed to interfere in a way that will mess up their lives. We’re not supposed to upset your path. What I mean is, I’m not supposed to put you in a position where you will want to live in the past, and not move forward. I’m not making any sense, am I?” Austen tugged at his hair. “It’s hard to explain this to you. It’s different once you’re here…on the soul level. Things are clearer.” “I think I understand,” Katherine nodded, but her eyes were still clouded with confusion. “Katherine, when I saw you…I almost lost my breath. I tried to tell myself to turn around and walk out of that room, but I couldn’t.” Austen paused for a moment and looked into her eyes.

“I just wanted to be near you. My heart felt like it was about to explode inside my chest, it was filled with so much love at just seeing your face. So I told myself that I’d try to reach you one time. I’d try to see if I could get into your dreams that night. I didn’t know if it would even work. But I got into your mind so easily at first.” Her eyes lit up. “I wasn’t sure you’d remember the dream,” Austen continued. “But you did. When I saw how affected you were by it—how you could sense me around you even after you were awake—it was almost too much for me. When I saw that you couldn’t let the idea of me go, I couldn’t either. It would be like asking the waves to stop crashing onto the shore. The water is pulled toward the sandy shoreline in the same way I’m pulled toward you. You are my shore.” He touched her face and her stomach flipped. For once since the craziness started, she began to understand. “Why can’t I remember?” She clarified, “Our other lives, I mean.” “It doesn’t work like that while you’re still living. Otherwise, we’d all be too wrapped up in the memories of the past to live in the present. That’s what I meant about messing up your path.” “But you remember?” “I remember everything. I can see all we’ve shared even though you can’t. How could anyone, living or otherwise, expect me to stay away from you with that knowledge? I’m not that strong.”

strong.” “What do I tell Taylor?” “Remind her that I had no self-control for the things I loved when I was alive, and tell her I’m still the same way. She’ll get a kick out of that.” He laughed and it made Katherine smile. She heard what he said about love, and couldn’t resist the urge to ask, “You love me?” “I don’t know how not to.” He kissed her and she struggled to breathe.

Chapter Eight Katherine opened her eyes and looked over at Taylor, who was still sleeping. She sat in bed and replayed everything Austen had just told her. “So did you see him last night?” Taylor’s voice interrupted her retrospection. “Yes.” Katherine only wanted to give Taylor information if she asked for it. She didn’t want to confuse or hurt her any more than was necessary. “Well? Did he say anything?” “He wanted me to tell you he was sorry for all of this and that you know he doesn’t have any self-control when it comes to the things he loves.” Taylor smiled through her falling tears. “What did he mean by that?” Katherine asked her. “When Austen loved something he had to have it. He fell in love with this puppy one day walking past the grocery store and

love with this puppy one day walking past the grocery store and even though we couldn’t afford to have a dog, Austen got him anyway.” “Brody?” Katherine wondered. “Yeah? How’d you…oh wait, is Brody there too?” Taylor’s eyes opened widely. “He’s usually with your brother. I love that dog,” Katherine smiled. “Well that makes me happy. You know, that they’re together. Brody died right after Austen did and I always hoped they had each other.” Katherine nodded and smiled softly. “So anyway, he had to have the dog. But he paid for everything himself. And he had to make the varsity wrestling team, even though they said he’d never make weight. And when he decided that he liked Kylie, he had to have her too.” Katherine’s face dropped…followed closely by her stomach. “Even though she was dating someone else at the time. He just wanted what he wanted. Not in a selfish, screw you, kind of way. It’s just that Austen always felt things deeper than other people. He didn’t see the sense in letting the things he wanted get away from him. You know what I mean?” “Austen and Kylie?” Katherine choked on the words. She grabbed at her stomach and tightly closed her eyes. “No wonder there’s always been that weirdness between us.” “You didn’t know?” Taylor sounded surprised. “I had no idea. I mean, I never even thought about it, but of course he would have had a girlfriend.”

course he would have had a girlfriend.” “Yeah. That’s how I met Kylie. She bugged me a lot at first. But after Austen died, we got really close.” “Were there any other girls?” Katherine needed to be mentally prepared in case they ran into any of Austen’s exes while they were in town. “No, it was just Kylie. They dated for almost two years, I think.” “Were they together when he had his accident?” “No. They had already broken up. But it hadn’t been long. Kylie was an absolute wreck,” Taylor shuddered. Jealousy consumed Katherine’s body and mind. She was so envious that Kylie got to kiss Austen, hold his hand and be loved by him. Thoughts of them together made Katherine want to throw up. No matter how hard she tried to rid the made up images of Kylie and Austen from her imagination, they refused to leave. She was thankful when her cell phone beeped, quickly followed by Taylor’s. “Text from Cooper,” Katherine said out loud. “Kylie,” Taylor commented. “What did Cooper say?” “Hope you’re having a great time at Tay’s. I miss you and can’t wait to see you.” Katherine placed the phone at her side. “You’re not going to text him back?” Taylor asked as she typed out a response to Kylie. “I can’t right now. I don’t even know what to say without feeling like I’m lying.” “What are you talking about? Just write back and tell him you

miss him too and you’ll talk to him later. Simple as that.” “I don’t know if I miss him or not. I don’t want to write something I don’t mean,” Katherine buried her head into her hands. “Of course you miss him, Kat. Your emotions are just all over the place right now.” “I hope you’re right,” she admitted. “So, what did Kylie say?” “She knows we’re in town and she wants to stop by. I can’t tell her ‘no.’” “Of course not. Are we telling her? She knows about the dream guy, remember? What if she asks?” Katherine didn’t want to see Kylie, but knew it was unavoidable. “Hopefully she won’t even remember. But Kat, she never got over my brother so I don’t think telling her this stuff would be a good idea,” Taylor warned. “I’m not sure how she’d react and I think it would hurt her more than anything else.” “I don’t want that.” Even though it pained Katherine to think about Austen and Kylie together, she didn’t want to hurt her. Taylor looked over at Katherine and said, “I want you to know that I really loved my brother, Katherine. He was a great guy and I honestly wish you two could have met. You would have loved him.” Taylor stifled a small laugh before she continued, “He was my best friend. It was the worst thing in my world to lose him. I just want you to know that it gives me comfort to know that he’s still around.” Taylor’s words made Katherine smile. “Thank you so much.

Taylor’s words made Katherine smile. “Thank you so much. I’ve been so worried you wouldn’t understand.” “I’m not sure I do, but I’m too hungry to try to figure it out right now,” Taylor rubbed her belly. “Don’t say anything to my family, okay?” “Oh my gosh, Taylor, I would never. But hey, are we okay? I mean, me and you?” Katherine wanted to make sure that Taylor wasn’t holding anything back. Taylor walked over to Katherine and gave her a hug before she said, “This is really weird and it’s a lot to take in. I know that maybe I should be more weirded out, right? Like maybe I should be completely freaking out or something? But I honestly just don’t feel that way. The truth is, for whatever reason, I’m kind of happy my brother talks to you.” Katherine let out a huge sigh of relief as her shoulders relaxed, “Thank you.” The girls smiled at each other with watery eyes. Katherine took one last glance at the picture of Taylor and Austen on the beach and headed out of the bedroom. The girls showered and ate. They made small talk with Taylor’s parents before they walked outside to feed the horses. Taylor showed Katherine how much food to give them and how to attach the buckets to the stall. She did some light cleaning in the barn and stopped by the poker room to give her brother a hug. “God, Matty, don’t you ever go home?” Taylor teased him. “I only go home when you’re not around. Where’s my hug?” Matty stood up with open arms and Taylor leaped into them.

Matty stood up with open arms and Taylor leaped into them. “I’d treat you like crap if I didn’t love you so much.” Taylor planted a big wet kiss on his cheek and Matty pretended to faint while he clutched at his chest. “I know you have some new hockey stud boyfriend, but he’s got nothing on me. One day, Taylor Dailey, you’ll be mine and you know it.” She lifted her eyebrows and gave him a smirk before she walked out. “It is so funny how much that kid loves you,” Katherine said with a laugh. “I know. He always has. Not for nothing, but isn’t he adorable? Those dimples…oh, they kill me every time!” “Oh my God! You totally love him! You’re going to ditch Danny and start dating a high school boy,” Katherine teased, and poked Taylor in the arm. “Well at least he’s alive.” The moment the words escaped Taylor’s mouth, Katherine’s face dropped and her legs stopped moving. “Oh my God, Katherine, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Katherine looked at her with hurt in her eyes. She wondered how Taylor could even think something so cruel, let alone say it out loud. But then logic seeped in and Katherine begrudgingly admitted, “It’s okay. I mean, you’re right. That just hurt.” “I know. I don’t know what got into me. He’s my brother...I shouldn’t have said that.” “Shouldn’t have said what?” Kylie’s snarky tone congested the air.

“Hey, Kyles! Nothing, we were just talking about Blake and Matty.” Taylor shot Katherine a look and then gave Kylie a quick squeeze. Katherine hesitated and then did the same, “It’s good to see you again.” Jealousy permeated throughout Katherine’s body as she tried her best to be polite and kind. Her stomach flipped and twisted as she fought off the urge to ask Kylie everything she knew about Austen. She wanted to know what it was like to date him. How it felt to be loved by him. How he treated her. Was he funny? Did he make her laugh? There were parts of her that wanted every tasty morsel of information she could consume. The three meandered toward the overstuffed patio furniture and sat down. “So girls, what’s been going on? Fill me in on everything.” Kylie eyed Katherine, “You still dating that superhot guy? What was his name? Colton? Colby? Something?” “Cooper,” Katherine snickered. “Yeah, Cooper. So you two still together or what?” Kylie feigned interest. “We’re still together,” Katherine’s tone hitched. “What’s wrong? Trouble in paradise?” Kylie’s asked smugly. “No. It’s just complicated is all,” Taylor shot a look of death at Katherine and kicked her swiftly under the table. “They’re fine, Kylie. Katherine’s just a mental case because her boyfriend is royalty.” Taylor attempted to change the subject. “Maybe he should be dating a girl who can handle that sort of thing,” Kylie arched her brows. “I’ll take him off your hands,

thing,” Kylie arched her brows. “I’ll take him off your hands, Kat, if he’s too much for you.” “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.” Katherine knew Kylie wasn’t entirely joking. “What about you, Tay?” Kylie turned to look at her. She forced a sweet smile before she asked, “Everything good with Danny?” “No complaints,” Taylor glared. “Oh Taylor, tell her what Danny did.” Katherine longed to shift the focus of Kylie’s questions away from herself. Taylor’s face instantly turned two shades pinker. “Well, my crazy boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time ever. Not only did he tell me loved me, but he screamed it…out loud…in a parking lot filled with people!” Kylie’s mouth fell open as Taylor continued, “I was so embarrassed.” “I would be horrified if any guy ever did that to me,” Kylie snapped in disapproval. “You know what though? It was sweet. And romantic,” Taylor grinned, “So what about you, Kylie? Any guys in your life?” “Oh you know, the usual. I meet a lot of guys at work, but I can’t get the ones I don’t want anymore to go away.” She rolled her eyes and then breathed in quickly, “That’s what I was going to ask you. I almost forgot. What ever happened to that dream guy? Did he ever come back?” Katherine almost threw up and Taylor’s face turned white, “Nope. He’s just gone,” Taylor tried to convince her.

“Nope. He’s just gone,” Taylor tried to convince her. “You’re lying,” Kylie called her on it. “I might have believed you if her face didn’t give it away.” She glared at Kat with disgust. “No, really,” Kat shook her head, “he hasn’t come back.” “I don’t even know you that well and I know you’re completely full of it.” Katherine glanced at Taylor for approval and she softly nodded her head. “Okay. He’s been back. A few times,” Katherine admitted. “Really? And it’s the same guy every time?” Kylie asked, intrigued. “Yep, same guy.” “Do you know who he is yet? I mean, is he real?” “I have no idea,” Katherine attempted to lie again. Kylie squinted, “You’re a terrible liar, Kat.” Kylie’s eyes darted between the two girls. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?” Taylor rubbed at her eyes and then stared at Kylie. “Just keep an open mind, okay?” Kylie responded with attitude. “Whatever. What is it?” Katherine was so scared for Kylie’s reaction that she stood up and started to pace back and forth. She assumed Kylie would be incredibly angry, would most likely hate her and probably want to fight her. Kat wasn’t a fighter, so she hoped it didn’t come to that. “Why are you pacing? Sit down.” Kylie barked at Kat.

“Which one of you is going to tell me what the hell is going on?” She folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot against the deck. Katherine shook her head ‘no’ and watched as Taylor took a deep breath. “We figured out who Kat’s dream guy is.” “I gathered that much.” Kylie grumbled, “So, why all the drama? Who is it?” “Austen,” was all Taylor said. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Kylie asked through clenched teeth. “It’s Austen, Kyles. He’s the one from her dreams.” “Are you joking? This is a joke right?” Kylie glowered at Katherine and screamed, “He didn’t even know you! Why the hell would you dream about my boyfriend?” Her face reddened as she continued to yell, “I don’t believe you.” “It’s true,” Katherine added. “Kylie, please calm down.” “Don’t,” Kylie whipped her head and narrowed her eyes. “Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” “Kylie, don’t be like that. It’s not her fault. She had no idea who he was until last night,” Taylor explained. “What happened last night? How do you even know it’s him? How do you know she’s not lying, Taylor?” “She recognized him from a picture in my bedroom. And why would she lie about this?” Kylie’s face twisted in anguish as she wailed, “He was my boyfriend. Not yours! He didn’t love you, he didn’t even know

you!” Her eyes tightened with confusion. “Why wouldn’t he come to me?” “I don’t know,” Katherine avoided eye contact. “You’re lying! You do know! Tell me!” Kylie shouted. Talking about Austen like this was too much for her. The pain was too real and the emotions were still raw. To have him come up this way was like ripping a blood-soaked bandage off a twoyear-old wound to find it had barely begun to heal. Kylie buried her face in her hands and started to cry tears of disbelief and sadness. “Why wouldn’t he come to me? Doesn’t he love me any more?” Kylie was inconsolable. ”Why did he stop loving me? I haven’t stopped loving him.” Katherine’s heart ached inside her chest. She had never in her life inflicted so much pain on another. She felt completely responsible. She wanted to fix it, but she didn’t know how. “Of course he loves you, Kyles.” Taylor reached her arms around and hugged her from behind. “You were the only girl he ever loved.” She peered into Katherine’s eyes as she spoke those words. Katherine whispered, “I’m so sorry, Kylie. I never meant to hurt you.” Kylie scowled at Kat through her tear-stained face, “I don’t care that you’re sorry. Stay away from me, and stay away from Austen!” She threw Taylor’s arms off of her shoulders and sprinted toward her car. “Kylie, don’t go. Come on,” Taylor bellowed. Once Kylie reached her car, she slammed the door, blasted

Once Kylie reached her car, she slammed the door, blasted the stereo and sped away, spinning the tires until they screeched. Taylor gave Katherine a sad look. “Well, that went well.” “I am so sorry, Taylor. I can’t believe all of this is happening.” Katherine wasn’t sorry for meeting Austen. She wasn’t sorry for the dreams. But she was sorry for all the pain it seemed to cause those around her. “She just needs time. It’s a lot to take in, you know?” she met Kat’s sympathizing gaze. “She really loved my brother and I can only imagine that she probably feels left out, or forgotten, or something.” “I just feel terrible that something that makes me so happy makes everyone else so upset.” “Not everyone,” Taylor grinned and Katherine hugged her.

Chapter Nine “Was that Kylie who sped out of here this morning?” Taylor’s mom asked curiously. “Yeah. She stopped by, got pissy, and left.” “What happened?” Her mom stopped washing the dishes and peered at the girls. “Nothing happened. You know how Kylie is, Mom.” Mrs. Dailey went back to washing and nodded her head. “She is emotional. Well, I hope you girls patch things up before you head back to school.” “I’m sure we will.” The girls flopped onto Taylor’s bed and Katherine rested her

The girls flopped onto Taylor’s bed and Katherine rested her head against the pillow. “Do you think she’ll call you back?” she asked. Taylor hesitated, “I honestly don’t know. It might be awhile before she’s ready to talk to me.” “Have you heard from Danny?” Katherine wanted to think about something happy and Taylor and Danny always made her smile. “Only every twenty minutes,” Taylor joked, and shook her cell phone. “Did you ever respond to Cooper’s text?” “Yeah.” “What’d you say?” “I told him I was having a great time. I hoped he was too and that I’d see him in a few days.” “Hmmm.” “Hmmm, what?” Katherine asked. “You didn’t tell him you missed him back,” Taylor noted. “I must have forgotten,” Katherine smirked. “Uh-huh. Listen, now that your dream guy is my brother it sort of changes things. I mean, I feel invested, or something. But I still don’t want you to blow Cooper off.” “I can’t make any promises,” Katherine admitted. “So then what are you going to do?” “About what?” Kat wondered. “About Cooper. Are you going to tell him?” “I don’t think so; at least, not yet. I don’t see any reason why I should, in all honesty.” She focused her eyes on Taylor. Taylor nodded and said, “No, you’re right. But some day,

Taylor nodded and said, “No, you’re right. But some day, when you do tell him, I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.” “When do you think that will be? I mean really? When am I going to have to tell him?” “I think you’ll know. I don’t think there will be any other option. Know what I mean?” Katherine pursed her lips together, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Taylor yawned before she said, “Goodnight, Kat. Tell my brother ‘hi’ for me.” And then she rolled over and closed her eyes. The comment made Katherine laugh. “Night, Tay.” **** Katherine walked along the warm grains of sand and kicked at it with her bare feet. She could see their bench in the distance. She saw him even further in the distance. She smiled just knowing he was near. She watched as Austen tossed a stick for Brody to chase. When they could see each other’s faces, their eyes lit up. Austen walked up to her and put his hand on the back of her neck. He bent down slightly and kissed her. It was soft and slow and she hoped he’d never stop. Her mind raced. Her body felt like it might melt through his arms. He pulled away from her and said, “It’s so good to see you.” She blushed and ran her fingers across her wet lips. He took her other hand and led her over to their bench. They sat down

before he asked, “Rough day, huh?” She jogged through her memory to recall what he referred too, but she couldn’t place it. Bits and pieces scattered in her mind, but they weren’t enough. She struggled to remember when Austen pressed her. “Think, Katherine. Remember your conversations today with my sister…and with Kylie.” The moment Austen said Kylie’s name, it hit her with the force of a Mack truck. Her face twisted and her eyes filled with water. “You remember now, don’t you?” He gently wiped the falling tears from her eyes. “Oh, Austen, it was awful. I feel so bad...hurting her like that.” Kat tumbled into Austen’s chest. “I know; I feel bad too. I never want to hurt Kylie. I know that my dying was hard on her. I used to visit her at first. Mostly because I was confused and wasn’t sure where I was, so I went to where I was pulled. Her pain and longing for me was stronger than almost anything else I felt at the time. I found myself in her dreams often.” Austen paused and ran his fingers through her long brown hair. “Once I realized what happened and I had more control over where I could go and what I could do, I stopped visiting her. I felt like being with her wasn’t good for her. She could barely carry on as it was, and the dreams weren’t helping,” he explained. Katherine listened to every word he spoke about his first love. It was difficult for her to imagine him loving anyone else. “You guys really loved each other didn’t you?”

guys really loved each other didn’t you?” “We did. I don’t want to diminish what Kylie and I shared because it was love. Ridiculous, high school, teenage love…but still—love.” He lifted her chin to face him. “But it’s nothing like how I feel about you.” He pressed his lips against hers and softly parted them with his tongue. She saw flashes of places, people, things she didn’t recognize. His kisses awoke her otherwise dormant subconscious. He made every part of her feel alive. “I love you beyond the depths of my soul.” His words sent shivers down her spine as she nodded her head in agreement. “I want to take you somewhere. But it’s not going to be easy,” he told her. “What do you mean?” “I want to show you something. Will you come with me?” His voice was darker now and she started to get nervous. What did he want to show her? Where did he want to take her? She reached for his outstretched hand and before she even blinked, they were walking down a darkened street. Katherine heard screams and cries in the distance. And smoke...the smoke choked out the air. Her eyes worked to focus on the scene in front of her. Twisted metal wrapped around more metal. She tried to make out what she was witnessing, but she needed to get closer. Austen reached out his arm to stop her. “I’ve watched this probably a hundred times. Nothing ever changes,” he said solemnly. Katherine looked on, horrified. A small passenger car sat smashed beyond recognition underneath an unscathed big rig

smashed beyond recognition underneath an unscathed big rig truck. Smoke from the airbags flooded out of the shattered car windows. The big rig driver paced back and forth nervously; completely freaked out. He had trouble breathing and frequently slammed his fist against his chest. Police cars and ambulances finally arrived on scene, their sirens blaring into the otherwise quiet night. They yelled frantically as they directed heavy equipment toward the crushed car. The earsplitting sound of power tools grinding against metal screamed into the air. They finally pulled out two limp and lifeless bodies from the battered car. Katherine recognized Austen’s frame immediately. She dropped to the ground and tore at her shirt. She started to cry and scream, but no one could hear her. When she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she suddenly remembered that he was still right there with her. She turned and forcefully pulled him to the ground with her. She glanced back at the heartbreaking scene in time to see the two bodies covered in sheets, being wheeled into the ambulance. Katherine could barely stomach this reality as her insides churned. “Why did you show me this?” she asked through her sobs. “My death is a big part of how people remember me. They’ve stopped seeing all the other moments. Instead, they focus on the one that took me from them. They think about the road I was killed on, or the truck we smashed into, or where they were when they heard the news. It’s like they have to get past the part where I died before they can get to the parts where I lived.” “So you showed me this so that I’d think of your death too? I

don’t understand.” “I wanted you to see where I spent my last minutes. This accident is a part of me. For you to truly understand how everyone who ever loved me in this life feels, I had to show it to you. Not to make you sad, just to help you see.” He intertwined his fingers with hers and they were suddenly in a very crowded church parking lot. Katherine had never seen so many people vie to be in one space before. Austen and Katherine waded through the crowd and into the building. There were flowers everywhere and a large picture of Austen greeted everyone inside the church. Katherine looked around and found Taylor as she wiped her eyes in the front row. She watched as Taylor’s mother and father held on to each other while they sobbed. Blake sat next to Taylor, and looked as if every emotion that had ever lived inside his body had vacated for the day. While everyone around him fell apart, Blake looked as though he refused to do the same. Then Katherine heard cries and screams that were filled with so much agony, they made her tremble. She looked around and noticed Kylie being held by her mother. She was in so much pain and Katherine’s heart hurt for her. The overwhelming amount of sadness in the room almost broke her. Austen reminded her, “Don’t be sad.” Heartbreak flowed through her. “Poor Kylie,” was all Katherine could get out before she was overcome with emotion. “I know. It’s hard to see her like that.” Austen turned away from her. Katherine noticed him cringe each time Kylie screamed

from her. Katherine noticed him cringe each time Kylie screamed out. He kissed the top of her head and took her hand again, “One last stop.” They walked on the grass toward a row of headstones. The lawn was meticulously manicured and each gravesite was filled with trinkets and flowers. Even though it was supposed to be a place filled with death, it felt more like a place filled with love. Austen pulled her toward a light gray stone. She could read his name now. Austen Dailey, beloved son, brother, and friend. The front of his site was filled with little white rocks. There were all sorts of figurines, stuffed animals, and toys. There was a picture of him on the stone and Katherine bent down to get a better look at it. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m way better looking in person,” he radiated. She tried to smile, but she was too caught up in everything she had just witnessed. “I didn’t bring you here to make you sad. I didn’t show you any of this to make you upset.” “I know,” she reassured him. “Then what is it? Tell me.” He sat down on the grass in front of his stone and pulled her down toward him. She sat between his legs and he wrapped his arms around her. She swore she felt his heart beat. He kissed the side of her face as her tears fell onto his lips. “Please don’t cry, Katherine.” “I don’t mean to. It’s just that…I can’t imagine how Kylie must have felt to lose you like that. Or Taylor…or your parents. It just breaks my heart for them…and for whatever reason, for me.”

me.” She felt his warm breath against her neck as he whispered softly into her ear, “I don’t have to be living in your world to love you. I’m sorry to have caused you pain.” He brushed against her cheek with his lips before he kissed the nape of her neck. She closed her eyes and got lost in how he made every fiber of her being feel warm and alive. “I love you,” he told her, “beyond all reason.” **** Katherine woke up and gasped for air. Taylor sat up immediately and stared at her, “What did my brother do now?” “He took me to the scene of his accident,” Katherine choked out the words. “He did what? Way to go Austen. You really know how to romance a girl.” Taylor shouted up at her ceiling and waved her hands around. “He also showed me his funeral and his gravesite.” “Jesus,” Taylor rolled her eyes. “What’d he do that for? Is he trying to depress you?” “He said he just wanted me to see. I think if I saw how painful it was for everyone who loved him, I might understand it better? I’m not entirely sure.” Taylor shook her head, “Understand what better? And how the heck would seeing any of that make you feel anything other than sad?” “I don’t know?” “But that does remind me. I need to go to the gravesite and

bring Aus flowers. Did you maybe want to come with or does that freak you out?” “No, that doesn’t freak me out at all. I’d love to go, actually,” Katherine wanted to see it. She wondered if it would be anything like her dream. The girls got dressed, ate cereal, and headed out. Taylor’s dad asked where they were going and once Taylor told him the location, he put his head down and smiled. Katherine gathered that Austen was a topic of conversation that didn’t come up often. She completely understood, but it still made her sad. They stopped to get some white calla lilies and then Taylor drove into the cemetery and parked next to Austen’s grave. It was exactly like Katherine had seen in her dream. There were angel figurines and notes in plastic bags. Taylor placed the lilies on the top of his headstone and leaned in to kiss the picture of Austen’s face. She talked softly to him and said things Katherine couldn’t hear. When Taylor had moved away, Katherine picked up a couple of the small white rocks from the base of his stone and held them in her palm. Warm sparks shot through her fingers. “Taylor, would it be weird if I kept a couple of these?” “Not any weirder than you already are.” Katherine settled the two small rocks into the coin part of her wallet. “So that you’re always with me, wherever I go,” she murmured under her breath. She sound of tires crunching against gravel forced Katherine to look toward the cemetery entrance. “Taylor, is that Kylie’s

car?” Taylor looked over her shoulder. “Sure is. This ought to be fun,” she inhaled deeply. Kylie parked her car behind Taylor’s and opened her door slowly. She took a few steps before she spotted Katherine and abruptly stopped. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Why is she here?” Katherine stood up and pleaded, “Kylie, please.” “Don’t…talk to me. I already told you that. God, are you stupid?” Kylie turned around and walked back toward her car. Katherine’s mind flashed to the image of Kylie the day of Austen’s funeral. She flinched as she remembered the sound of Kylie’s anguished wails. “He loved you so much.” Kylie stopped. “Oh jeez, Kat. Don’t do this,” Taylor begged. “What did you say to me?” Kylie asked furiously. “He told me how much he truly loved you,” Katherine chose her words carefully. “Shut up! I do not want to hear that you are talking to him. I don’t want to hear anything about Austen from your mouth. Do you understand that?” she hurried into her car. “Why don’t you just go back to California and leave us all alone?” Kylie slammed her door closed and tore away. Katherine sat back down, dejected. She faced Taylor and confessed, “I was only trying to help.” “I know,” Taylor acknowledged. “I just don’t think you should talk about my brother to Kylie. Put yourself in her shoes.

should talk about my brother to Kylie. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?” It was as if a switch flipped in Katherine’s head and her eyes lit up. “I think that’s what your brother was trying to show me last night. I think he wanted me to understand Kylie’s pain. He needed me to really see how she felt about him to truly understand.” Katherine slapped her palm against her forehead, “God, I’m such an idiot.” “Don’t beat yourself up,” Taylor helped pull Katherine to her feet. “We should probably get going.”

Chapter Ten “Thank you so much for your hospitality. It was really nice to be here,” Katherine squeezed Taylor’s mom. “It was nice to have you. Come back soon, okay?” “We will,” Katherine promised and turned to Blake, “Don’t forget to come visit us soon. We’ll have so much fun.” Blake blushed and responded quietly, “I will.” Katherine walked out the front door and toward Taylor’s waiting car. She was excited to get back to school, but a little hesitant to see Cooper. “Are you nervous to see Cooper?” Taylor asked her from the driver’s seat. “A little. I don’t know how I’m going to feel when I see him, you know?” “Yeah. But you still like him, right?” Taylor checked.

“Yeah. But you still like him, right?” Taylor checked. “Of course. He’s perfect. But…it’s just not the same as the way I feel about your brother.” Katherine realized that rationally, she should be head over heels in love with Cooper Donovan. But love wasn’t always rational. And the bond between her and Austen had nothing to do with logic…or ration. It wouldn’t be easy to walk away from him and into Cooper’s arms, even though she assumed it probably should be. “Right. My brother...the guy who isn’t alive,” Taylor forced the words out. “I know it’s crazy. But the way I feel when I’m with your brother is unlike anything I’ve ever known. I can’t explain to you how deep my emotions run. I don’t know how.” She struggled to find the right words, but nothing sounded perfect enough. “Just don’t give up on Cooper, okay? He deserves more from you than that,” Taylor insisted. “Plus, if you let him go, do you know how many stupid girls you’d make happy? They’re too annoying to be that happy.” Katherine laughed, “I’d completely forgotten about all those girls. Listen, I care about Cooper a lot. I just need to see how I feel when I see him.” “Well, here’s your chance.” Taylor pulled her car into the parking lot and noticed Danny immediately. “There they are.” The dozen red roses he held stood out more than he did in his ripped jeans and tight black t-shirt. Cooper stood next to him in jeans and a dark blue shirt, holding three sunflowers. Katherine felt chills course through her as her heart raced. She

Katherine felt chills course through her as her heart raced. She rubbed at the goose bumps on her arms. She was definitely still attracted to him. “I’m getting sweaty,” Katherine admitted to Taylor, who laughed in relief. “Thank goodness for that.” “I knew you’d want to know.” “Well, at least you still like the guy.” Danny ran to the Taylor’s side of the car and opened the door. She hopped out and leapt into his arms. “For me?” she gestured toward the roses. “I missed you so much.” Danny handed them to her and proceeded to plant kisses all over her face. Taylor struggled to push him away, but he only tightened his grip. “I just got back…ugh, don’t annoy me already!” she joked. “You love it. You love me, remember?” Danny teased. “I can take that back,” she shot back at him playfully. “Nope. No take-backs.” Katherine’s heart pounded a million miles a minute as she watched Cooper head toward her. “I missed you too. A lot,” his voice smoothly informed her. She smiled, but didn’t respond as he handed her the sunflowers. She grabbed them as Cooper wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He leaned in and his lips pressed against hers. She heard him softly sigh as his tongue slowly found its way inside her mouth. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, but a part of her that felt like she was being unfaithful

to Austen. She knew it sounded crazy, but she couldn’t help it. Was this cheating? Cooper sensed her hesitation and pulled away. “Is everything okay?” his voice shook with vulnerability. “I’m just really tired. Thank you so much for my flowers. That was really sweet of you. And sunflowers are my favorite! How’d you know?” “I didn’t. The moment I saw them in the store, I thought of you.” “You have good intuition, Mr. Donovan.” She was surprised at how easy it was to fall back into him. There was a level of comfort between them that she genuinely appreciated. It would be so easy to give her whole heart to him, if she had it to give. “Did you have a good time at Taylor’s?” he longed to extend their interaction. “Totally. Her family is so great. It was really nice. How about you?” “Lots of hockey, lots of family, and lots of food. The perfect way to spend any break,” he smiled. “You’re so pretty. I missed your face.” “I missed your eye,” she ran her thumb down the side of his face. In moments like these, Katherine wished everything could be far less complicated. But she knew for that to happen, it would come at a price she wasn’t willing to pay. Giving up Austen for Cooper wasn’t something she wanted to do. Honestly, it wasn’t something she thought she was capable of doing.

something she thought she was capable of doing. “I feel like you’re a million miles away, California,” he sensed the change in her. “I’m sorry, Coop. I really am tired.” He pretended to believe her. She almost blurted it all out—how she dreamed about Taylor’s dead brother. She wanted to be honest with Cooper, but feared that she couldn’t. Not while the revelations were still so new. She figured he’d ask a million questions that she wouldn’t have the answers to and that wouldn’t be fair to him. She contemplated her situation. She could do this. She’d see Austen at night when she slept, and be a normal girl during the day like everyone else. She almost laughed out loud at the thought. Nothing about this situation was normal and she questioned if anything about her was? Surely this sort of thing didn’t happen to normal people. Cooper broke the silence, “Do you want to get some dinner after practice later?” “Not tonight. I have a paper I need to start writing and I’m probably going to crash early. Maybe tomorrow?” It wasn’t a complete lie. She did have a paper to write and the week at Taylor’s had been emotionally exhausting. But she also really wanted to see Austen again and the only way she could do that was if she was asleep. “All right then. Tomorrow. I’m holding you to it.” He bit his bottom lip the way she loved and leaned in to kiss her goodbye. “I’ll remind you then.” “Remind me...about what?” she questioned with half a smile.

“Remind me...about what?” she questioned with half a smile. “How incredible it is to be with me…cause you’ve obviously forgotten,” he smiled at her, his confidence radiating off his body. She laughed, “Thanks again for the flowers.” She watched as Cooper walked toward Danny, grabbed him by the sleeve and practically dragged him away from Taylor while she laughed. “I love her,” Danny smirked. “We know. The whole school knows genius,” Cooper teased. “How was Katherine?” Cooper squirmed and his eyes narrowed, “She was weird. Something was off.” “What do you mean?” Danny wondered. “I don’t know. She’s just different. I hate that I feel like this,” Cooper shook his body. “Feel like what?” “All out of control. Like I have no say in how this girl feels about me. It’s like nothing I do matters to her the way it would to other girls.” “You always said she’s not like other girls,” Danny reminded him. “I know, but I’ve never had to work this hard before. Don’t get me wrong, I want to work this hard for her. But I want her to want me back.” “Don’t worry about it bro. Maybe you’re reading into it.” Cooper agreed, “Maybe you’re right.” Taylor rushed over to Katherine as she held the door open

with her foot. Flowers spilled out of their arms. “So? How sweet are our guys?” Taylor asked, her voice smitten. “They are pretty amazing.” Katherine turned to see the Cooper and Danny waving from the Jeep. The girls smiled and waved back. They lugged their bags up to their room and tossed them on the floor. “I think I’m going to head over there after they get done with practice. Did you wanna come with?” “Not tonight. I’m really tired and I have a paper to write.” “Seriously? Is that what you’re telling people?” Katherine gave Taylor a look of confusion, but Taylor saw through it. “What’s going on?” “I really am tired, Tay. I feel emotionally wrecked.” She wanted to be brutally honest with Taylor, but she didn’t want to feel judged by her. “And honestly, I really miss your brother.” There. She’d admitted it. Out loud. “Oh no.” “Oh no, what?” “You can’t start doing this,” Taylor’s voice rose with concern. “Start doing...what exactly?” Katherine asked, dragging out the ‘what’ for emphasis. “You can’t stop living your life, or seeing Cooper, because you want to see my brother. It’s just creepy, Kat.” “I’m not stopping living my life, Taylor. It’s ONE night. And I am tired!” Katherine snapped. She should have known Taylor wouldn’t understand. How

She should have known Taylor wouldn’t understand. How could she? She would just have to keep all things Austen locked inside from now on. “Right. One night will turn into two...and then two will turn into three...and then...” “I get it. It’s not going to happen okay? I think I have a little more self-control than that,” Katherine wasn’t actually sure that she did. “Would you even care that I was doing this if there was no Cooper Donovan in the picture?” It seemed, to Katherine at least, that all the negatives about Austen revolved around Cooper. She started to wonder if Coop was the reason this was even a problem at all. If there were no Cooper, then maybe Taylor wouldn’t give her so much grief. Maybe Taylor would be happy for her and encourage her to be with Austen. Taylor pondered the question for a minute before she answered. She looked at Katherine and said, “I think that if there was no Cooper Donovan, it would still be creepy if all you wanted to do was sleep to see my brother. I’d like to think that if there was just dream Austen in your life, I’d still want you to go out and live and I’d be concerned if you stopped doing that. Know what I mean?” Katherine recognized the truth in Taylor’s words, but she didn’t believe her entirely. “I get what you’re saying, I do. But I still think that Cooper changes things, whether you realize it or not.” “You might be right,” Taylor admitted. “Cooper probably does change things. He’s real, alive, and a really good guy. If he

does change things. He’s real, alive, and a really good guy. If he was a complete jerk it would be one thing, but there’s not a single jerky thing about him.” Katherine gathered her school things together and headed out the door to the campus library while Taylor stayed behind and napped. Katherine was thankful for the time alone. She needed to be by herself and attempt to sort things out. She started to worry that she wasn’t built to balance two guys. And if that was the case, she knew which one was going to lose. She also knew she’d never hear the end of it from Taylor if that happened. Or anyone else for that matter. But how could she possibly be expected to choose Cooper when she felt the way she did about Austen? She knew that any rational and sane person would choose the guy who was still alive. But her emotions weren’t derived from rational thought. The heart wants what it wants; it can’t be reasoned with. She wondered how she was supposed to explain that to anyone to make them understand. But then, she knew she couldn’t. She studied for a few hours at the library before she walked back to the dorm. Taylor was already gone by the time she returned so she washed her face and headed to bed. She looked forward to being asleep and finally seeing Austen. **** Sleep eluded her at first, causing her to toss and turn relentlessly. But once she was there, she sat in the sand and played with Brody. Austen stood silently behind her and watched.

“We have to talk about him at some point,” Austen mentioned. “Talk about who?” She knew exactly who Austen referred to, but she longed to avoid the topic. “The other guy in your life,” Austen said rationally. “Why do we have to talk about Cooper? I don’t want to talk about him. I just want to be with you.” She scooted closer to him and dropped her head into his shoulder. He wrapped his muscular arm around her waist and held her tight. His lips brushed against the top of her head as he ran his fingers through her hair. “A stronger man would walk away from you and let you live your life.” Her breathing quickened as fear ripped through her. “Clearly I’m not that strong.” He brushed his hand down her cheek, as calm quickly replaced the fear. “We can’t ignore the fact that Cooper’s a big part of your life.” “He doesn’t have to be,” Katherine hastily retorted. She was so terrified at the thought of losing Austen she’d do whatever it took to keep them together. “I know that. But he’s there for a reason, Katherine.” “So,” Katherine whined. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about our other lifetimes? I know it’s affected you deeply and I never meant to confuse you. I just couldn’t keep it from you. But maybe that was selfish of me?” “Don’t say that. I needed to know why you affected me the

way you did. Nothing made any sense before you told me about our history. Everything clicked once you did.” Austen stared at her and she returned his gaze. She longed to stay in that place with him forever. The blue of his eyes pierced right through her. “You know how much I love you, right?” he asked. That was one question she never needed to ask. Even if the words had never left his lips, she still would have known. That’s how deeply they were connected. **** Those were the last words Katherine heard before her eyes fluttered open. “You’re coming to class, right?” Taylor studied her from across the room. “I’m getting up now.” Katherine tossed off the covers and crept out from the warmth of her bed. She walked slowly into the bathroom. “If you don’t hurry, we’re gonna be late,” Taylor shouted through the closed door. Katherine finally emerged and grabbed her bag as Taylor rushed out the door. “The guys have a game tonight. You’re coming, right?” Taylor asked while she speed walked. “I guess so.” “Katherine,” Taylor groaned out her name with a huff. To avoid conflict, Katherine quickly recanted, “I’ll go. Of course I’ll go.”

course I’ll go.” “Good,” Taylor smiled. From the moment Kat’s eyes opened her thoughts consumed her. Her mind constantly compared the two guys competing for her heart. She loved being around Cooper and appreciated the way he made her feel. Her pulse raced whenever he looked or smiled in her direction. When he reached for her hand, or kissed her softly, her knees buckled and she prayed she wouldn’t fall. Butterflies flapped recklessly in her stomach whenever Cooper was near. He made her feel alive, special, and wanted. But with Austen it was all very, very different. He filled her entire being with a sense of serenity, calm, and her soul soared in his presence. There was a trust between them that existed beyond words. No love could be more genuine or pure. “Snap out of it, girlfriend. Cooper’s straight ahead.” Katherine unscrewed her twisted thoughts and looked ahead. God, he was gorgeous. Even in jeans and a sweatshirt, he took her breath away. She figured he could probably wear a paper bag and still look good. “Morning, ladies,” he said before he looked in Katherine’s direction and asked, “How do you feel this morning?” He tossed an arm across her shoulder and leaned in close. She tilted her head toward him and said, “Much better, thanks for asking.” Her defenses weakened when she looked in his eyes. Cooper Donovan seemed perfect. His personality— the way he treated her— not just his words, but his actions as well— they all added up to one unbelievable guy.

up to one unbelievable guy. When they took their seats in the back of the classroom, Cooper focused on Katherine’s eyes without saying a word. She could barely catch her breath when he did that and the smirk on his face told her that he knew the effect he had on her. He laughed softly and she jabbed at his arm. “Ouch,” Cooper winced playfully. “As if. Don’t do that to me,” Katherine whispered. “Don’t do what?” he feigned innocently. She glared in response as he just laughed. **** Katherine opened the door to her room and Taylor shouted, “That better be you, Katherine Johns!” Katherine snickered, “Who else would it be?” Taylor peered around the bathroom door and grimaced, “My boyfriend’s going to look up in the stands and when he doesn’t see me, he’ll probably cry. Right there on the ice. You ruin everything,” Taylor joked. Katherine shook her head as she hurried to change tops. She hesitated for only a moment before Taylor pushed her out of the door. “Come on! We can’t be late. Danny will kill me,” Taylor whined. “Do you want to run, or what?” “I should make you carry me.” “Oh yeah, we’ll definitely get there faster if I carry you,” Katherine chortled.

When they walked into the rink Katherine noticed the lack of available space. It was packed full. “Sorry Taylor, I didn’t realize how crowded…” Taylor cut her off, “Come on. Kristie saved us seats. Thank God.” Taylor pulled Katherine down toward the row filled the player’s girlfriends. “Thank you so much. Sorry we’re late. Did we miss anything?” Taylor asked while she scanned the players on the ice. “It just started. You didn’t miss anything,” Kristie responded. Idle chit-chat filled the air as Taylor blamed Katherine for their lateness. “She hates Cooper, that’s why we were late.” Katherine suddenly found all eyes focused on her. “She’s kidding! I mean, yes I made us late, but I don’t hate Cooper,” she thwacked Taylor in the arm, “Brat!” Taylor stuck out her tongue and mimicked her voice, “Brat.” Katherine still didn’t understand everything about hockey but admittedly, she loved watching Cooper on the ice. She respected and admired how passionately he played the game. Her insides warmed with pride as she watched him lead the team to yet another victory. When the game ended, he glanced up in the stands and smiled at her. She couldn’t help but smile back as her cheeks flushed. “He is so into you,” one of the girls beamed. Katherine didn’t know what to say in response so she just smiled. The girls waited by the locker room door for the guys to exit. Cooper and Danny burst through the door and Danny

exit. Cooper and Danny burst through the door and Danny grabbed Taylor and kissed her. He teased, “You were late!” She pointed at Katherine, “It was her fault.” Danny sauntered over to Katherine and squeezed her, “You both owe us.” Cooper grabbed Katherine’s hand and ushered her outside. “I agree with Danny. How are you girls going to make it up to us?” Taylor and Katherine looked at each other, “With kisses?” Taylor suggested. Danny laughed and said, “I’ll take that offer.” He leaned down to kiss Taylor. “Yeah, works for me.” Cooper dropped his hockey bag and lifted Katherine up. She wrapped her legs around him and threw her arms around his neck. Thoughts of Austen rushed in and she instinctively pulled back. “What’s wrong?” Cooper placed her feet back on the ground. “Nothing. Sorry,” she lied. She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him toward her. He hesitated at first before slowly giving into her. Their mouths met and everything else faded into the background. Taylor cleared her throat and interrupted, “Gonna kiss all night or do you guys want to go to Dom’s? You’re hungry, right?” “I could eat a horse,” Danny said. “Don’t say that! I love horses and you know it!” She punched him in the arm. He mimicked her words and she chased him around the parking lot. “You hungry?” Cooper asked Katherine while he secretly crossed his fingers.

crossed his fingers. Katherine looked into his eyes and answered, “I could eat.” He exhaled in relief, “Good.” Cooper and Danny tossed their hockey bags in the back of the Jeep and hurried toward the restaurant. “Are you cold? Here, take my jacket.” Cooper removed his jacket and placed it around Katherine’s shoulders. He nuzzled her body into his and she sighed at how comfortable it was to be with him. Dom‘s face lit up as he greeted the girls with a kiss and patted the guys firmly on their shoulders. “Who won?” Dom asked. “We did,” Cooper responded. Dom nodded his head and his face scrunched up as he smiled, “Good-ah!” Cooper still had his arm around Katherine as she scooted into the booth. He leaned into her ear and whispered, “Are we okay?” Concern filled his voice and her stomach dropped. She felt terrible that she was doing this to him. Cooper treated her wonderfully and she wanted to push him away. The worst part was, he sensed it and she knew it. She noticed the eye with the speck in it and smiled, “I’m sorry if I’m being distant. It’s not you.” His eyes narrowed, “Then what is it?” She shrugged her shoulders and then responded, “I’ve just been kind of out of it since we got back from Taylor’s. Don’t worry, I’m just...” she paused to find the words, “I don’t

know…distracted, I guess.” “But we’re okay? You still think I’m the best thing to ever happen to you and I still have my girlfriend from California who makes me crazy, right?” he smiled, his tone serious. It surprised her that he could sense things she tried to hide. She wondered how strong their connection truly was and pondered what it was about Cooper that made her feel so secure. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she knew she couldn’t tell him the truth either. It wasn’t the right time or place for her to get into the details about Austen. “Definitely. We’re good. You’re still amazing and I’m still crazy.” “Perfect.” He kissed her cheek and rested his hand on her leg. **** The days that followed were more of the same. Cooper tried to behave as if everything was normal but Katherine pushed him further away. He stopped asking her if she was ok. He didn’t want to annoy her, but he sensed that something was off between them. Stupidly, he thought it was something he had done. Or something he hadn’t done. He wondered if maybe she wasn’t into him any more. He couldn’t figure out what had changed. Maybe we got too serious too fast, he asked himself. Maybe I scared her? He wanted to figure out what was wrong between them so he could fix it. More than almost anything else, he wanted this girl by his side. She completed him. He knew how cheesy that

by his side. She completed him. He knew how cheesy that sounded, but it was the truth. Something about Katherine Johns affected him in ways no girl ever had. Cooper decided to wait it out. If there was something that distracted Katherine, that distraction would eventually have to go away. He’d simply wait until it did.

Chapter Eleven Kylie picked up Blake and they headed toward the college. She contemplated telling him that Katherine dreamed and talked with Austen. She felt betrayed that Taylor had sided with Katherine and needed to feel as though someone was on her side. But she couldn’t bring herself to involve Blake. He had been devastated beyond repair when Austen died and she refused to put him through any more pain. Instead, she talked to him about school and girls and his friends. Whenever Kylie’s thoughts drifted to Katherine and Austen, her heart pounded out of control. She decided that if anyone was dreaming about Austen, it should be her… or at least a member of Austen’s family. Not some stranger no one even knew before this past summer. Pain and bitterness consumed her. “Think we’ll go to any parties?” Blake asked. “Probably,” Kylie responded with a smile as her mind raced. She wondered if Little Miss Perfect had told her equally perfect boyfriend what was going on. A party would be the perfect place to confront Cooper and find out. “Cool. Have you met Katherine’s boyfriend?”

“Cool. Have you met Katherine’s boyfriend?” “I was there when they first met. He’s really great; you’ll love him.” Her thoughts drifted back to the party where she first saw Cooper. She remembered thinking how ridiculously good looking he was and how she was just about to go talk to him when she noticed him staring at Katherine. Envy and jealousy coursed through every inch of her body. The way Cooper stared at Katherine was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. It was like no one else was in the room. Kylie shook her head to rid the images from her mind. “What about Tay’s boyfriend? Have you met him?” Kylie was thankful that Blake seemed oblivious to the emotional war that raged in her mind. “Uh-huh. Same party.” “I’m excited to meet them both.” “I think you’ll like them a lot.” She glanced toward him, “And they’ll love you.” “Cool.” He turned to look out the passenger window. “Thanks for bringing me, Kylie. I really appreciate it.” “It’s nice to get away, huh?” She reached over and touched his shoulder. “I didn’t really realize that I never leave my house. It’s funny because I sort of hate being there, but I never go anywhere else.” Kylie’s face crinkled, “What do you mean you hate being there?” “It’s just not the same. You know, since Austen. It’s hard

“It’s just not the same. You know, since Austen. It’s hard living there,” Blake’s voice softened. “Well you always have me. I’ll come steal you away anytime you want.” She knew how close he and Austen had been and she wanted to be there for him too. Especially now since Taylor had moved away. “Are we almost there?” “It’s just up around the bend over there,” Kylie pointed through the windshield. **** Taylor was excited to see Blake but nervous to see Kylie. The two girls had barely talked since the big blowout at Thanksgiving. She appreciated that Kylie brought Blake to visit but also wondered what she might have up her sleeve. Taylor knew that with Kylie, nothing was ever simple. “Do you think she’s over the whole Austen thing?” Katherine asked with trepidation. “I don’t think she’ll ever get over it, Kat. She didn’t say anything to me about it, but we should avoid that entire subject if possible,” Taylor warned. She didn’t appreciate having to run interference between her friends for an entire weekend. That kind of stuff irritated Taylor and she lacked the patience for it. She just wanted to have a nice calm weekend with her brother, but Kylie coming pretty much nixed that idea. “Agreed,” Kat sat down on the bed. “Blake doesn’t know, right?”

“God, no. And you can’t tell him!” Taylor’s voice rose as her eyes widened. She would do whatever it took to protect her little brother. Her heart splintered at the thought of Blake hurting. “I would never. Kylie wouldn’t either, right? Like, out of spite or anything?” Katherine wondered. “Kylie can be cruel, but she’d never do anything to hurt my little brother.” When Kylie and Blake walked through the door, Taylor squealed. She ran over to her little brother and squeezed him tightly. Kylie refused to look at Katherine. Katherine said ‘hi,’ but Kylie pretended not to hear her. Kylie watched as Blake walked over to Kat and gave her a hug. “It’s so good to see you! I’m glad you came. How are you? How’s school? Are you excited to be here?” Katherine asked quickly. Taylor walked over to Kylie and squeezed her. “Thanks for bringing him Kyles.” “You’re welcome.” “Are we going to any parties?” Blake asked Taylor with a curious look. “Do you want to?” Taylor teased. She sensed his excitement and her heart palpitated with joy. It had been so long since she’d seen true happiness in her brother’s eyes. Blake pursed his lips together in a tight smile and shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t pretend you aren’t excited. We’re going to one in a

little. But first, we eat!” They took Blake on a quick tour of campus and pointed at the hockey rink in the distance. Blake’s face lit up each time he saw something new. “There are so many hot girls here. College is awesome.” Blake constantly craned his neck to look in every direction. Taylor laughed, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.” They stopped by Dominic’s and picked up a pepperoni pie before heading back to the dorm to get ready for the party. **** Katherine watched Blake’s mouth drop open as he counted the number of people in his view. He looked at the crowded house party with wide eyes and shook his head in disbelief. “Crazy, right?” Katherine commented. “It’s ridiculous!” Blake shouted over the music. They walked past girls dancing on the lawn, on the furniture, everywhere. The DJ mixed music in the living room as colorful lights danced across the ceiling. Blake noticed a group of girls whisper, then point at some guy. “Come on, Blake!” Taylor grabbed his hand and headed out back. Blake watched as a guy walked up to his sister and lifted her whole body off the ground. The guy said ‘hi’ to Kylie and Katherine before Taylor interjected, “Danny, this is my little brother, Blake. Blake, this is my boyfriend, Danny.” Danny stuck out his hand and gripped Blake’s forcefully. Blake waved his hand back and forth to ease the pain. Danny

Blake waved his hand back and forth to ease the pain. Danny leaned toward him and said, “Nice to meet you. I’m totally in love with your sister. Sorry about the hand.” “It’s fine. And join the club. Everyone loves Taylor.” Blake started to chuckle when he noticed the guy all the girls had pointed at earlier walking in their direction. “Is that Cooper?” he asked Kylie. “Sure is,” she answered with wickedness in her voice. Cooper walked over to the group and smiled. He grabbed Katherine by the waist, dipped her slightly and kissed her boldly on the mouth. “I’m tired of things being off between us. I’m going to kiss our problems right out of you.” He smirked at Katherine before crushing his lips against hers once again. Kylie rolled her eyes at the public display of affection. Her stomach churned and she actually considered throwing up right on their feet. When Cooper finished, he tilted Katherine upright and looked into her eyes. “I forget how to breathe when you do that to me,” Katherine admitted breathlessly. Cooper smiled and glanced around at the group. “Hey, Kylie. Nice to see you again.” He gave her a loose hug and then squeezed Taylor before being introduced to Blake. “So, Blake, what do you think of college life so far?” “Seems pretty cool.” He shouted. “Coming to the game tomorrow?” “I don’t know,” Blake peered at Taylor who nodded. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

I guess we are.” “Cool, well I’ll see you then.” Cooper shook Blake’s hand and leaned into Katherine, “I’m going to grab some water. Do you want anything?” Katherine shook her head no and Cooper started to walk off. Kylie seized the opportunity to talk to Cooper without anyone else around. “I’ll come with you,” she shouted and Cooper stopped walking so she could catch up. Katherine shot Taylor a look and Taylor shrugged her shoulders. “So, Cooper, how’ve you been?” Kylie started with small talk to break the ice. “Can’t complain. You?” He was so polite that Kylie almost felt bad for what she was about to do. “I’m fine. So, how are things with you and Katherine?” Kylie knew as long as Katherine dreamed about Austen there was no way things could be perfect between her and Cooper. “Um, they’re fine.” Cooper hesitated, “Why do you ask?” Kylie sensed Cooper’s insecurities, “Oh, no reason really. Just wondering. I mean, with everything that happened over Thanksgiving, I just figured...” her voice trailed off. “What are you talking about?” Cooper unintentionally projected his voice. Kylie watched Cooper’s resolve weaken. He played right into her hands. “Oh, she didn’t tell you?” Her questions tortured him, but she didn’t care.

“Tell me what, Kylie?” Cooper asked, agitated. “Why don’t you just ask her who Austen is?” Kylie turned to walk away as Cooper quickly grabbed her by the arm. “Hey!” she shouted and shook her arm from his grip. “Who’s Austen?” he asked through clenched teeth. “Ask your girlfriend,” Kylie turned to leave. “I’m asking you!” he demanded. Kylie watched the adrenaline pump through his body as his chest heaved in and out in quick succession. She walked back to him and firmly stated, “And I’m telling you to ask her.” She leaned in close to Cooper’s face and whispered in his ear, “But if you want to make her jealous, I know something we could do.” She glanced outside and noticed every pair of eyes from her group paying close attention to the drama unfolding in the kitchen. “Why would I want to make her jealous?” Cooper asked, confused. “Geez, Cooper, are you really that clueless?” Kylie turned around and glared at Katherine before returning her attention to Cooper. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled his mouth to hers. Her lips attacked his with a force and determination he couldn’t resist. Cooper pushed Kylie away just in time to see Katherine run out the front door. He sprinted after her and shouted her name. Katherine knew she couldn’t outrun him, so she stopped. He jogged up to her and she stared at him, her heart in pain. She knew why Kylie did it. She didn’t blame her for it. But

She knew why Kylie did it. She didn’t blame her for it. But she hadn’t realized how hurtful it would be to see Cooper kiss someone else. It pained her to witness that kiss. All she wanted to do was run to Austen. She thought of how he would never intentionally hurt her like that. Never allow someone to cause her that much pain. “I’m sorry, Katherine. Kylie caught me off guard.” “I don’t care. Kiss whoever you want,” Katherine turned to leave. “Like you apparently did?” he shouted at her back. She stopped and turned to face him, “What are you talking about?” “You tell me. Who’s Austen?” Hearing Cooper say Austen’s name made her stomach fall to the ground. Her head started to spin as she struggled to steady her breathing. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Cooper. Just leave it alone.” “Come on, Kat. Who is he? Is that why you’re so different? Is there someone else?” With each question he asked, his voice pained more and more. She didn’t want Cooper to be hurt any more than she wanted Kylie or Taylor to be. It seemed no matter what she did, it was unavoidable. Cooper didn’t deserve this. He deserved answers. He deserved someone to love him with all of their heart. Something she couldn’t do right now…or possibly ever. “It’s not that simple. Just leave me alone, Cooper. It’s for the best,” she turned to walk away and he let her go. A crowd of people watched Cooper and Katherine’s

A crowd of people watched Cooper and Katherine’s argument. As Cooper walked back into the party, girls threw themselves at him. He ignored their advances, pretending they didn’t exist. He found Taylor and asked her, “Taylor, who is Austen?” Taylor immediately looked at Blake, who had a horrified expression on his face. “Shit. Not now, Cooper, sorry. We have to go.” She grabbed Blake by the hand and turned to Kylie and demanded, “Let’s go.” She gave Danny a quick kiss on the cheek and then sped off, dragging her baby brother behind her. Kylie turned to Cooper and said, “If you ever want to make Kat jealous again, just let me know.” She kissed him quickly on the mouth before he could stop her and then hurried to catch up with Taylor and Blake. “How could you do that to her, Kylie?” Taylor’s voice was filled with rage. “She deserved it and you know it,” Kylie’s responded with attitude. “Are you kidding? How did she deserve it? You did that to her on purpose. She didn’t do anything to you on purpose. She never would. It wasn’t even her fault about Austen.” “What the hell is going on? How did Cooper know about Austen, and what does he have to do with Katherine?” Blake interjected. Taylor shot Kylie a look that screamed she was going to kill her. “It’s nothing, Blake. It’s a weird story, but I don’t want to

talk it. Not here. Not right now,” Taylor shook her head. “Stop trying to protect me and just tell me what’s going on. He was my brother, too.” “You’re right. It’s just kind of hard to explain,” Taylor stalled when Kylie interrupted. “No, it’s not. Katherine has dreams about Austen.” “So?” Blake didn’t get what that meant. “What’s the big deal?” Taylor hesitated, “They aren’t just simple dreams. Austen sought Katherine out. Like he found her and now she spends almost every night with him in her dreams.” She turned to see Kylie’s reaction. Kylie looked devastated. “What do you mean he sought her out?” Blake questioned. “He watches over us and stuff and he saw Katherine with me one day and apparently he couldn’t stay away from her. I don’t really know; they have this intense bond, I guess.” “STOP IT!” Kylie screamed. “I do not want to hear any more of this crap. I can’t listen to how Austen and some stranger have an intense bond and...” Her voice trailed off as she fought to stop the tears. She looked at Taylor and said, “I loved him so much. And he loved me back. ME.” “I know, Kyles.” Taylor held her friend. “I don’t think Austen would ever want to hurt you. And I know Katherine wouldn’t, either. She’s been torn up about the whole thing ever since we got back.” Kylie cringed at the sound of Katherine’s name. Taylor continued, “Kylie, you can’t go around treating people like crap because you’re hurting. It’s not right. You shouldn’t

like crap because you’re hurting. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have done that. You’ve caused a lot of problems for Katherine and Cooper.” “I kind of don’t care, Tay. I’m sure Cooper can get over it with any one of his adoring fans. And I don’t care about Katherine. I don’t owe her anything.” “Except an apology,” Blake added. Blake’s suggestion stopped Kylie in her tracks. “You really think so?” “What you did tonight was pretty messed up,” he continued before she could interrupt. “Don’t get me wrong, I know that you’re hurting real bad. But I don’t think Kat deserved what you did to her.” Kylie took a deep breath and swallowed her pride, “Maybe you’re right.” “I am,” Blake smiled. Taylor couldn’t believe her little brother could talk sense into Kylie and she couldn’t. She looked at him and mouthed ‘thank you’ and he smiled. The three walked into the dorm room where Katherine lay in bed. She wasn’t asleep, but she pretended to be. The two small stones from Austen’s gravesite rested in the palm of her hand. Kylie looked over at her and sat down on her bed. She shook Katherine’s body gently, “Hey, Katherine?” Katherine opened her eyes. “I shouldn’t have done what I did tonight. It was wrong and I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Kylie. I understand why you did it. I just need you to know that I really am so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused

to know that I really am so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you,” Katherine’s eyes filled with water. “Why are you so nice all the time?” Kylie asked, irritated. “I kissed Cooper, remember?” “I know. And that really sucked,” Katherine winced. “I know how weird this whole Austen thing is. I just know that if I was in your shoes, I’d feel really hurt.” “Thanks,” Kylie grimaced. “It’s hard to hear you say his name. Like in my mind, Austen will always be mine. So I can’t really listen to you talk about him and say the things you do without it making me want to throw up.” Katherine’s eyes dropped, “I understand completely. Thanks for being so honest with me.” Katherine’s cell phone rang and Kylie huffed out a breath in relief. Katherine looked down to see Cooper’s name and number on her phone. She pressed decline and less than a minute later her phone beeped with a text message. “California, please talk to me. Just tell me what’s going on.” She didn’t respond. “I should probably apologize to Cooper too,” Kylie offered. Taylor and Katherine glanced at each other before speaking. “No, it’s okay. He’ll just end up asking you a bunch of questions and stuff that you won’t have the answers to. I’ll talk to him when the time’s right,” Katherine explained. “When the time’s right, huh? When is that going to be?” Taylor chastised.

Katherine faked a smile. She knew Cooper deserved the truth. But honestly, she just wished everyone would leave her and Austen alone. “Can I ask something?” Blake broke the silence. “Oh gosh, Blake, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you out.” Katherine looked at him and apologized, “Of course. You can ask me anything.” “Don’t be sorry,” he said quietly under his breath. “I was just wondering if Austen has said anything to you about me?” Katherine’s heart broke for the little boy who lost his older brother. She knew Blake had looked up to Austen in ways she couldn’t relate to since she was an only child. She smiled before she told him, “Honestly, I think he’s a little worried about you. He loves you so much and just wants the very best for you and he’s concerned that his dying has changed you forever. He told me he wishes you would remember all of your memories together, playing baseball and stuff, instead of the memory of him dying.” Blake’s eyes turned glossy. “Do you want me to stop? I know this must be really hard…and weird.” Katherine hesitated and looked around the room, as both girls wiped at their eyes. “No, it’s okay. I know it should be weird, but it’s not,” Blake looked over at Kylie. Katherine was grateful Blake understood and wasn’t angry or upset at her. “He just wants you to be okay again, Blake. He wants you to live your life and be happy. He wants the same for your parents, too. He understands how complicated it is. He

knows it’s not easy. I just think it’s different for him now. I think he sees things in a way we can’t even imagine because we’re still alive. His perspective is so clear, where ours is clouded by everything we think and feel, you know?” “I just miss him so much,” Blake admitted, as a few tears fell. He inhaled deeply. “He misses you, too. He misses all of you.” She looked directly at Kylie and reinforced, “All of you.” Kylie stood up as tears soaked her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I just can’t hear this from you. It’s hard and it hurts and there’s no way he loves you. He doesn’t even know you. This is crazy.” She opened the door to leave the room when Katherine’s words stopped her. “Please don’t go, Kylie. I’m not trying to hurt you. Blake and I can go somewhere else and talk if this is upsetting you. I’m so tired of upsetting you,” she sighed deeply. “I don’t really have any more questions or anything,” Blake said softly. Kylie took a deep breath and pulled herself together. Taylor tried to comfort her. “I know it’s hard, Kyles. My brother loved you and we all know that.” “He still does,” Katherine added. Kylie asked through her tears, “Does he talk about me?” “He does,” Katherine nodded. “He told me how much he loved you and how passionate you two were for each other. He said it was crazy high school love, but it was real and it was true.” Kylie smiled and for once, Kat felt relief that her words didn’t

Kylie smiled and for once, Kat felt relief that her words didn’t add to her pain.

Chapter Twelve It was the third time this week Taylor prepared to go to class alone. Katherine had barely left their dorm room since the party. “Are you really not coming?” Taylor’s tone was clearly disgusted. Katherine looked up from bed and mumbled, “I don’t feel well. Just go without me.” “Are you just trying to avoid Cooper?” Katherine had ignored his calls and barely answered any of his text messages. When she did respond, they were one or two word answers that solved nothing and kept him more and more in the dark. Katherine’s eyes tightened as she snarled in response, “This has nothing to do with Cooper.” “So then it’s about my brother?” Taylor snarled. “What are you even talking about?” Katherine asked defensively. “Kat,” Taylor’s voice snapped. “What?” Katherine assumed what was coming next. “This has to stop. It’s not healthy. You’re freaking me out to be honest. You can’t keep doing this.” “Doing what, Taylor? Sleeping? I have to sleep! Every night I have to sleep, just like you.” Katherine behaved like a brat and she knew it.

she knew it. “Right, but I don’t sleep all day. I don’t blow off classes to sleep so I can dream. This is ridiculous! My brother would not want you to do this to yourself. He would not want you to live like this,” Taylor explained. “Don’t tell me what he would want me to do. If he didn’t want me to be with him all the time, why did he come to me in the first place? Why didn’t he just go to you? Or to Kylie, for that matter? He came to me, Taylor. Me! So don’t tell me what he wants because you don’t even know.” Katherine was beyond reach. A rational conversation with her seemed as rare as reasoning with a drunk. Her mind was a place where logic failed to live any more. “Kat, listen to me. All I’m saying is that you have to stop blowing off your life for these dreams. Okay? You have to stop avoiding Cooper. You have to stop avoiding everything. Your life is happening right in front of you, but you won’t open your eyes to see it.” “Well, we leave for winter break in a couple of days, so you won’t have to deal with it. I won’t be your problem any more.” “That’s not what I’m saying. You’re not a problem. It’s just that...I’m worried about you.” “Just leave me alone.” Taylor grunted and Katherine cursed under her breath as the door slammed. Her head hit the pillow and she fell into her dreams. **** She walked along the pathway toward the bench where

She walked along the pathway toward the bench where Austen sat. He didn’t get up to greet her as usual. Once she got close enough he motioned for her to sit next to him. This wasn’t a good sign. She sat down as he slipped his arm around her. “Taylor’s right, you know,” he said, while he softly stroked her hair. “About what?” she knew exactly what he referred to. “I can’t keep doing this to you.” He grazed the side of her cheek with his hand and her heart soared. “It’s not fair to you or Cooper,” he added calmly. “Don’t make this about Cooper. This isn’t about Cooper. This is about you and me and only you and me,” her voice rose in sync with her defenses. “This isn’t right. You’re not living your life. And I love you too much to let you do this to yourself.” Katherine broke down. Her body filled with excruciating pain and each breath felt like a struggle to take. “You can’t leave me. You promised you’d never leave me.” “I won’t ever leave you. I’ll always be around. But it’s not right for me to keep doing this to you.” His face twisted in pain. “I have to let you go before I ruin your life completely.” “No!” she said forcefully. “No!” she screamed as her body shook. “Katherine, be reasonable, please.” Her body crashed into the sand as she pressed her hands against her face. Her eyes looked up as she realized, “You can’t be the one to leave, Austen.”

“What do you mean?” He tilted his head as his blue eyes gazed into hers. “If you’re the one who leaves me…if it’s your decision to end things, if you’re the one who walks away...” She took a breath and finished, “I’ll never get over you. I’ll never be okay. I’ll always be broken somehow. You have to understand that.” He nodded in agreement, “So what’s your solution?” “I have to be the one who leaves.” She knew Austen was right. She knew they had to stop. “I just can’t do it tonight.” “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy. Being on your timeline means I get more of you. But Katherine, this isn’t a joke. There has to be an end to this and if you stall for too long, I’ll have to be the one who leaves. Please remember that,” Austen explained. It wasn’t a threat, but his words were like daggers in her already bludgeoned heart. **** Katherine’s eyes opened and darkness had filled the room. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten anything. She thought briefly about calling Cooper, but put her phone down before she dialed. What would she say to him? He probably hated her. She wouldn’t blame him if he did. Taylor wasn’t there and Katherine assumed she was at Danny’s. Or maybe there was a hockey game? She couldn’t remember any more. She reached for her laptop and looked up the hockey schedule online. They had a game, but it was already in the third period. If she hurried, she could still catch the end of

in the third period. If she hurried, she could still catch the end of it. She fought with herself. Should she go confuse Cooper even more, or keep avoiding him? Taylor would be surprised to see her. But so would all the other girls. Katherine imagine the plethora of questions. Where have you been? Are you and Cooper okay? Did you guys break up? Katherine wasn’t ready to face any of that. She decided to pack for home. Katherine hadn’t been back since school started. She couldn’t wait to get home to the sun. Her mind drifted to the things she missed…the beaches, the comfort of her old bedroom, her old friends and even her parents. The door swung open and Taylor bounced in. She didn’t acknowledge Katherine as she headed to the bathroom to wash her face. The silent treatment didn’t last long. “Packing for home?” “Yeah,” Katherine didn’t look up from her suitcase. “Cooper asked me when you were leaving.” “What’d you tell him?” she stopped folding her shirt and looked in Taylor’s direction. “I told him I knew you left on Friday, but I wasn’t sure what time.” “I don’t want to see him.” “I figured,” Taylor’s tone of voice was slightly agitated. “It’s not what you think,” Katherine’s voice was on edge. “Then what is it?” “I have so much to tell him. There’s so much I need to

“I have so much to tell him. There’s so much I need to explain. I just can’t do it right now. I’m not ready.” “When then? When it’s too late and you’ve lost him?” Katherine was surprised at the sadness that followed hearing those words. “I hope not.” “How are you getting to the airport anyway?” “The school has a shuttle for students. I’m taking that.” “I hope you figure things out during break. I miss the old you.” “That’s the plan.” Katherine hoped to come back refreshed, rejuvenated and hopefully a little saner. **** Katherine loaded her suitcase onto the shuttle and took a window seat in the back. The engine roared to life and the shuttle rumbled under her feet. As they started to pull away, she noticed Cooper’s Jeep tear into the parking lot. He had tried to catch her before she left, but he was too late. A part of her was thankful she avoided the confrontation. Another part was comforted to see he still cared. She searched the Jeep for his face. His green eyes caught hers through the shuttle window and locked on. He made a gesture with his hand and his eyes fell. Katherine turned her head and looked away.

Chapter Thirteen Katherine walked off the plane and headed toward baggage claim. She sent her dad a text to let him know she had arrived. When she got downstairs, she saw his face immediately and her eyes started to well up. She hadn’t realized just how much she

eyes started to well up. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed her dad until she saw him standing there. His eyes looked tired, but then his face lit up with his big, happy smile. He looked so excited to see her. Katherine walked over to him and dove into his arms, “Hi, Daddy.” “Hey, kiddo. How was your flight?” “Uneventful. And long,” she yawned. “You hungry?” he asked. “Starved,” she replied. Her dad gave her another squeeze. “It’s good to have you home.” “Thanks, Dad. Where’s Mom?” she smiled at him. “At home making your favorite dinner.” “Yes!” Katherine was excited. Katherine’s cell phone vibrated in her pocket. It was a text message from Cooper. “Hope you had a safe flight. I really miss you, California.” She took a deep breath and felt her eyes well up slightly. “Everything okay, kiddo?” her dad noticed her reaction. “Who was that?” “Just a guy I’m kind of dating. It’s no big deal, I’m fine.” She forced a smile and wrote Cooper back, “I’m here safe & sound. I miss you too.” She wrote him those words because she meant them. But at this point, it still didn’t change anything. “A guy? Who is he?” Her dad grabbed the oversized brown suitcase from baggage claim and they headed out the doors

toward the car. “His name’s Cooper. He’s a big-shot hockey player.” “Hockey player, huh? Is he nice? Smart?” “Yes, Dad. He’s all of those things. You’d love him.” “What’s the problem then?” “What?” Katherine was shocked that her dad could read her so well. “Come on, kid. I know you better than that. What’s wrong with him?” Katherine looked at her dad and laughed. “There’s nothing wrong with him, Dad. It’s me.” “Well, what’s wrong with you, then?” He gave her a weird look and stopped at the back of a small white Lexus. He tossed her suitcase in the trunk and hopped into the driver seat. “Nothing. I’m just not sure what I want.” “Well, you’ll figure it out, honey.” He smiled at her before he directed the car’s phone system to call home. “Hello?” A woman’s voice asked pleasantly. “Hi, hon. We’re on our way,” he said cheerily. “Great! See you guys soon. Hi, Katherine!” “Hi, Mom!” Her mom’s voice sounded so excited, it made Katherine smile. Katherine looked around from the passenger seat at everything she’d missed since being away. She smiled when she saw the familiar palm tree lined streets of her childhood. When they rounded the corner she saw her house down the street on the left. The single story, light blue bungalow with the

street on the left. The single story, light blue bungalow with the weathered white trim sat a mere three blocks from the beach. Colorful flowers dotted the front ledge and Katherine realized how dreary and colorless winter could be on the East Coast. Her father pulled into the small driveway that led to a one-car garage behind the house. Katherine hopped out and noticed all the additions to the backyard. “The yard looks so nice, Dad.” “Kat?” she heard her mother’s voice excitedly say her name as she ran out of the back door and smiled. “Hi, Mom,” Kat met her mom with a big hug. “I love the fountain! And the yard looks so pretty.” “It does look nice, doesn’t it? Finally got my fountain,” she winked at her only daughter. The yard had been transformed into a sanctuary. “It’s so peaceful,” Katherine commented, as she imagined spending all her time there. A three tiered fountain stood in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by gorgeous light gray paver stones. A wood table that sat six sat dead center, surrounded by three oversized chairs with brightly colored cushions. Large white candles rested inside mason jars hung from the painted white patio slats. The three walked into the kitchen through the back door and were immediately greeted with the smell of Italian spices. The smell reminded her of Dom’s restaurant. “It smells amazing, Mom. Thank you.” “Of course,” her mom replied with a smile. Katherine walked toward her room at the back of the house. She tossed her suitcase on the bed without turning on the light

She tossed her suitcase on the bed without turning on the light and walked back out to help set the table. Her mom placed the manicotti, salad, and homemade garlic bread onto the center of the table. “How’s school? You look tired,” she commented. “It’s great. And yeah, it’s been exhausting lately,” Katherine answered. “How’s Taylor?” Katherine had told her mom all about her roommate during one of their phone conversations. Katherine’s face dropped a bit at the sound of her name. “She’s awesome.” She made a mental note to text Taylor once she was done with dinner. She’d only been gone a day, but she missed her friend. “And Cooper? Are you two still seeing each other?” her mom asked. Katherine’s dad looked up from his plate and whined, “You knew about this guy? No one tells me anything.” “Awww, Dad,” she got up and gave him a quick squeeze before she sat back in her chair. “Kind of. It’s hard to explain.” The last thing Katherine wanted to do was try to explain Austen to her parents. Mostly, she didn’t want them to worry, but she also knew they wouldn’t understand. “Well, what happened? Did you two have a fight?” Katherine’s mom always saw things in black and white, as if life wasn’t filled with shades of gray. “No. It’s nothing like that. I’m just not sure how I feel about him,” Kat said as she shrugged her shoulders.

Her mom stopped eating and looked at her. “You’ve always been extremely picky, Katherine. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t live up to your expectations.” “It’s not like that, Mom. Jeez.” Katherine was already irritated and she had only been home for five minutes. She felt like her mother could never relate to anything Katherine felt or thought. “Oh, Kat, I don’t think Mom was trying to upset you,” her dad said as he tried to keep the peace. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought you really liked him?” “I do.” Katherine really wanted to stop talking about Cooper Donovan. She had to deal with Cooper conversations at school and the last thing she wanted was to continue them at home. Her parents looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. They had stopped trying to figure out their only daughter years ago. She often made decisions that didn’t make any sense to them. Her mother cleaned up the dishes from dinner while Katherine unpacked. Her room looked like something from Coastal Living Magazine. The walls were painted a shade of blue that looked like water, and the crown and base moldings were painted white. Her carpet was the color of sand and she liked the way it felt on her bare feet. The dresser, nightstand, and bed frame all matched in white, weathered wood. A large mirror held movie stubs and pictures of Katherine with her high school friends. Photographs she had taken hung in various frames along her walls. She sat on her bed and sent Taylor a text. “I miss you. I’m

sorry for everything lately. I’m going to try to get better.” Less than a minute later, she got a response. “I miss you too. Come back normal, k? Thanks. lol” Katherine laughed out loud when she read it and set her phone aside. The time difference quickly caught up to her and before she knew it, she had nodded off. She told her parents goodnight and headed back up to her room. **** She sat on the bench and traced a carved heart with her finger. Austen turned around when he sensed her and jogged in her direction, his face full of smiles. He took her by the hands and pulled her off the bench. They hugged and he kissed her passionately. She ran her fingers through his sandy brown hair and then ran her hands across his muscular frame. “Austen, I’m never going to be able to tell you goodbye if you keep kissing me like that.” He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m sure you’ll find a way. Happy to be home?” “It’s nice. But it’s also nice not being here, you know?” “Sure.” Katherine was aware that—even in her dream state—she needed to get her life in order. There was no way she could go back to school the same way she left. “What’s the matter?” he sensed her distance. “I’m just thinking about how we’re supposed to be letting each other go. But the idea of not being with you seems wrong. Why would I want to purposely cause myself that much pain?”

Why would I want to purposely cause myself that much pain?” “We don’t have to do it today, or tomorrow.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. “But the time will come.” “How can you be so calm? How are you totally okay with not being with me?” Whenever she thought about not being with Austen, she could barely function. “Not being with you is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. But I’ll always do what’s best for you, Katherine. Even if it’s not what I want. Even if it hurts me so deeply I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get over it. I’ll do what is best for you and your life, no matter what the consequences are for me.” “Don’t we have any other options? Isn’t there anything else we can do? Why is it all or nothing?” Katherine longed for a compromise. “Saying goodbye is the only option. It’s the only way,” Austen was firm. Her eyes filled with sorrow as he tilted her mouth gently up to his to kiss her. “I love you,” she whispered. “And I love you,” Austen smiled at her and… **** …she opened her eyes. She sat up in bed and held on to her covers tightly. There was a quick knock on Katherine’s front door and then she heard it open and slam shut. “I’m here! Where are you?” “Soph? I’m in my room.” Katherine’s best friend and neighbor since childhood ran to the back of the house. “Still in bed? It’s eleven o’clock, ya sack! Get up!” Sophia

“Still in bed? It’s eleven o’clock, ya sack! Get up!” Sophia jumped in Katherine’s bed and gave her a hug. Sophia was a petite brunette with blonde highlights. She had brown eyes and full lips. Katherine laughed at her hyper best friend before she said, “Hi to you too! You look so good! How’s Arizona?” “It’s awesome. I love. What about you and the E.C.? Isn’t it freezing there?” Sophia scrunched her nose at the thought. Katherine thought for a minute and quickly realized that the “E.C.” stood for the “East Coast.” Sophia often made up her own language. “It is freezing. But I love it.” “For real? I’ll never understand why you wanted to get so far away from here,” Sophia said, with a look of confusion. “I just wanted something different. You know that.” “Katherine Johns, the girl who has everything, but still wants something else.” “Shut up.” Katherine rolled her eyes. “So where do you want to go? What do you want to do?” Sophia asked. “I really want to walk around Venice. I miss the beach and the weirdos.” “Awesome! I need some new sunglasses so that’s perf.” The girls walked along the sandy pathway in Venice. Sophia stopped to look at sunglasses and tried on at least fifty different pairs before deciding on one. She spotted the row of tarot card readers ahead of them. “Oh, Kat, let’s get our cards read. Like old times! Come on,”

Sophia pleaded. “Why not?” Katherine smiled and then wondered, “Which lady should we go to this time?” “Um,” Sophia looked around, “How about her? I’ve never seen her before.” Katherine looked at the woman. She wore large turquoise gemstone jewelry around her neck, ears and wrists. Her curly gray hair hung at her shoulders and a baby blue bandana fit snug against the top of her head. Katherine noted that the woman’s lipstick was an awful shade of pink and that she wore glasses which were rimmed in gold. The woman’s table was covered with a multi-colored sheer cloth. Various sizes of dark blue candles burned and she glanced up as Katherine watched her. “Come here, child,” the woman spoke in Katherine’s direction. Katherine smiled nervously and walked toward the woman. “Shuffle the cards. Make sure you don’t let them touch anything but your hands. The cards need your energy.” Katherine did as she was told. The cards felt stiff in her hands and she wasn’t sure if she should shuffle them like a regular card deck, or some other way. She decided to gently insert half the deck into the other half, never letting the cards touch anything but her hands and the air around them. “When you feel like you have shuffled enough, place the cards down in front of me. Then cut the deck once, any way you’d like.”

like.” Katherine glanced back at Sophia who watched the tarot lady with intense curiosity. Kat placed the cards in front of the woman and cut them into two uneven stacks. The reader took a deep breath and closed her eyes before placing the split cards on top of one another. She turned over the first card. The dreamer. The woman took a deep breath and then answered someone only she could hear, with a nod of her head. The woman looked at Katherine with concern. “You are being haunted in your dreams by a great love. Oh yes, he loves you very much. And you love him as well.” Katherine’s heart leapt. Not wanting to give anything away, she maintained her composure. The woman continued to speak slowly and with caution. “There is much confusion around this person and...I see that you can’t be with him, or he can’t be with you?” The woman glanced up at Katherine with unease. She turned over another card and said, “Oh, but there is another boy who is fighting for your affections. He is handsome and strong and cares for you, too.” Katherine freaked out. Never in her life had a reader come so close to her actual reality. “There is much sadness and confusion surrounding you lately.” The woman took a breath. “And a decision will have to be made between these two boys.” The woman didn’t look up from the table as she spoke. She focused on the cards before her and the information she seemed to receive. “Your hand will be forced.”

to receive. “Your hand will be forced.” Katherine hung on to every word that spilled out of the stranger’s mouth. “Yes, unfortunate events will occur, I’m sorry to say. The decision must be made or it will be made for you.” “Unfortunate events? What do you mean?” Katherine interrupted, as her voice shook nervously. “I’m sorry, child, the cards don’t tell me everything. But I see there will be no other choice.” “What do you mean?” “When certain events occur, you will have to make a decision. There will be no other way. You will have to choose one.” The gray-haired woman shook her head and looked into Katherine’s eyes before saying, “I’m sorry, that’s all the information I’m getting.” She took Katherine’s hand in hers and looked steadily at her palm. “You’ve lived many lives. You’re a very old soul.” She peered into Katherine’s eyes. “But you already know this,” the woman smiled warmly. Katherine was rattled as she handed the woman a twenty dollar bill, smiled slightly and said, “Thanks.” “Did you want a reading as well, dear?” the woman asked Sophia with a smile. “I think I’ll pass,” Sophia waved her off, noticing the look on Katherine’s face. “Hungry?” Sophia asked. Katherine snapped back into reality and looked at her friend’s face before muttering, “Kind of.”

“Well I’m starved, so you’re coming with.” The girls walked the path toward a small café with outdoor seating. They sat down at a table that faced the water. Katherine stared at the ocean and silently replayed what the woman had told her. “What the hell was that? Who are the guys she was talking about? And what about the haunting dreams? That was weird,” Sophia wanted information. Katherine couldn’t hide the fact that she was freaked out. She tried her best to play it off. “Well, she was definitely talking about Cooper. He’s the hockey player I told you about.” “And the other guy?” Sophia wondered. “I don’t know. I think she meant my roommate’s brother. I sort of have a crush on him.” Katherine figured a few white lies wouldn’t hurt. Plus, she had no idea how to explain Austen to Sophia. “When she said unfortunate events, that kinda freaked me out.” “Me too.” “You don’t think you’re going to die or something, do you?” Sophia asked semi seriously. “Well…I didn’t.” Katherine was even more worried than before. “I’m just saying. She was freaky. Don’t die, k?” “I’ll do my best.” “Wonder who you’re going to choose?” Sophia smiled and Katherine shrugged her shoulders. “Guess we’ll see.” Katherine tried desperately to change the

“Guess we’ll see.” Katherine tried desperately to change the subject. “Tell me all about Arizona.” Sophia’s face changed as she talked a mile a minute. She would talk her own shadow’s ear off if she could. The rest of their lunch and walk home were filled with talk of Arizona, fraternities, guys, and parties. They stopped on the corner of their street and hugged goodbye. “I’ll call you later,” Sophia said as she walked in the opposite direction. “K. Thanks for lunch.” Katherine’s house was empty and she was thankful for the quiet. Her phone beeped with the sound of a text message. It was Cooper again. “Hope everything is good. Just thinking about you.” “It is. Thanks. Hope you’re well. Tell your parents hello for me.” She longed to tell him so much more, but stopped herself. Katherine couldn’t stop thinking about what the tarot reader had said. She sat in her new back yard as the words replayed in her mind. **** She must have dozed off because Austen suddenly appeared next to her. “That was some tarot card reading today,” he said as he nuzzled into her. She was surprised to see him there, in her back yard, instead of their usual meeting place. “What did she mean, Austen? Do you know? Is something bad going to happen?”

you know? Is something bad going to happen?” He hushed her gently to comfort her. “It’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.” “Don’t worry? Austen, she said ‘unfortunate events’…those aren’t fun and happy words. Something bad is going to happen.” “You don’t know that. She could be wrong.” “But she knew about you. And Cooper. And...” Austen cut her off, “I know. I heard. But the future can be changed, Katherine.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “Nothing is set in stone. Events may be headed in one direction at the time, but you can change your course. And that changes your direction.” “So then it doesn’t have to happen the way she said?” “No,” he said reassuringly. “So it can all be changed then?” Katherine breathed in relief. “Yes.” “Well, that’s good.” She looked into Austen’s eyes and suddenly changed her tone. “How are you?” He laughed at the question. “I’m good. How are you?” She laughed as well at the absurdity of the question. “Better now, but I have a random question for you.” “Shoot.” “Have you seen Taylor at all? You know, since I left?” He smiled, “Yep.” “And? How is she?” “She’s fine. She’s Taylor. But she misses you.”

“I miss her, too,” Katherine glanced downwards. “It’s going to be okay, Katherine.” He turned her face so she could watch him speak. “Once you get back to school, everything will be the way it was before.” “How do you know that? What if everyone hates me for how I’ve acted?” her eyes started to well up. “Listen to me.” She didn’t move. “No one hates you. Do you hear me?” She wanted to believe his words. “No one hates you,” he spoke clearly and slowly. “I have been such a jerk to Taylor. And I’ve completely ignored Cooper.” “But not since you’ve been back home, right?” She shook her head, “No.” “See, everything is already getting better.” He smiled at her lovingly. “I guess so.” “Katherine. When people care about you the way Taylor and Cooper do, it doesn’t take much for them to forgive you. They’re just worried about you. Of course Cooper has no idea what’s going on, so he’s just really confused.” It still made Katherine cringe when Austen brought up Cooper’s name. She never understood how he could be so calm about the whole thing. She expected him to hate Cooper, or at least want to hate him. But he didn’t seem to. “You’re right,” she said. “Finally, something we can both agree on.” He half smiled and she smiled back.

**** Her eyes opened to the sound of grocery bags being set on the counter and her mother’s voice calling her name. “I’m out back, Mom.” Her mom poked her head out the back door. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be back from the beach yet. How was Sophia?” “She’s great. Do you need help?” Katherine started to get up out of the oversized chair. “No, no. I’ve got it. You enjoy the yard.” Katherine repositioned herself and grabbed her cell phone. She was nervous but relief immediately washed over her when Taylor answered the phone excitedly. They spoke briefly, but it was enough to set Katherine’s worried mind at ease. She apologized again for her behavior and Taylor accepted without hesitation. Austen had been right. It wouldn’t take much to mend their relationship because it hadn’t truly been broken in the first place. **** Katherine felt like she truly knew the meaning of the saying “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” as the days flew into weeks. She missed Taylor’s company every day and she was surprised by how much she genuinely missed Cooper. She thought of him often, but never told him. She knew she owed him so much more than a stupid text message after everything that had happened and she wasn’t about to have that conversation over the phone. Everything she needed to tell him needed to be said in person.

needed to be said in person. Katherine packed up the last of her things, gave her mom one last hug, and waited as her dad backed up the car. “Call me when you land.” Her mother gave her another squeeze that took the breath out of her. “You’re going to squeeze me to death, Mom,” Katherine choked out. “Have fun at school, but not too much. Get your grades back up.” “I will. I promise.” Katherine had reassured her parents many times that her lapse in grades was only temporary and she’d work extra hard to get them back up to where they needed to be. “I love you,” her mom said. “Love you too, Mom,” Katherine walked toward the car where her father waited.

Chapter Fourteen Taylor picked Katherine up from the airport and when they saw each other, they squealed and then cried. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted before break, Taylor.” Katherine felt like a horrible friend. “I know. No more apologies,” Taylor waved her off. “I am so happy to be back here. I totally missed you.” “Me too.” The girls were quiet in the car for a few minutes before Taylor

The girls were quiet in the car for a few minutes before Taylor broke the silence. “I know this is probably a long shot but, we’re going to Cooper’s lake house this weekend. You should really come with us. The lake is completely frozen over and we can ice skate on it and stuff.” Katherine didn’t respond so Taylor asked, “Have you ever seen a frozen lake before?” Katherine laughed, “No.” “Please come. It will be fun, I promise.” “Who’s going?” “Me and Danny, of course…um, Cooper and a couple other guys from the hockey team. I think that’s it.” Katherine pondered the details of the weekend. It would be the perfect place to finally talk to Cooper. She nodded and asked, “Do you think Cooper will mind if I go?” “No way,” Taylor answered, overly reassuring. “Okay. I’ll go. It sounds fun.” Katherine agreed with a hint of excitement in her voice. “Are you sure Cooper won’t mind?” “Are you kidding? That kid asked about you a hundred times over break. He’ll be fine.” Taylor’s voice hitched. “You’re positive?” “I’m positive. Besides, you two have to talk eventually. What better time than this?” Katherine was grateful that the first week back at school was less than challenging. She had a lot of extra work to make up in her classes since she had slacked so badly before the break. Her parents threatened to bring her home if she couldn’t handle living on her own. And going back home was the last thing Katherine

on her own. And going back home was the last thing Katherine wanted. She was determined to make up all the work she’d missed and get her grades back up. When she saw Cooper in class, he was cordial, yet distant. Things had definitely changed between them. Long gone were the days when he greeted her with a kiss. He didn’t try to hold her hand or show her any sort of affection. He barely made eye contact and she was convinced he hated her. Seeing Cooper still tied her stomach in knots. One glimpse into his green eyes and she struggled to remember where she was. Sitting next to him made it hard for her to concentrate on anything other than him. When class ended, she noticed him turn toward her and then quickly turn away. She looked around the classroom for him, but he had disappeared just like he had on that first day. She turned to Taylor. “That was…weird?” “Uh, yeah.” “He knows I’m coming this weekend right?” Katherine asked, concerned. If her presence was going to ruin the whole trip, she didn’t want to go. “He knows,” Taylor answered in an annoyed tone. “Are you sure he’s okay with it?” “He is. I promise. I talked to him.” Katherine’s ears pricked up at the last statement. “You talked to him? When? What did he say?” “He’s happy you’re coming, Katherine. I think he just...I don’t know, isn’t sure how to deal with you right now. You

know?” Katherine looked down at the ground, “Yeah. That makes sense.” Taylor pointed at Katherine. “Uh-uh. I know that face! Don’t even think about backing out of this trip. You are coming.” “I’m not...backing out,” Katherine stumbled over her words. “I know you better than that. I promise it will be fine. You guys just need to talk about everything. Get it all out in the open, you know?” Katherine agreed. “Not to change the subject or anything, but do you still dream about my brother?” Taylor wondered. A huge smile crept over Katherine’s face and her eyes lit up. “I do.” “What’s changed, then? I mean, not for nothing, it just seems like you want to patch things up with Cooper. Or am I reading this totally wrong?” “Um...your brother and I have had many conversations about how we have to stop what’s going on. We both know what we have to do, but neither one of us can actually do it. At least, not yet. But it’s coming.” “So then...” Katherine interrupted her, “So it’s not about getting back together with Cooper so much as I owe him an apology and an explanation. Your brother talks about him all the time. He makes me crazy with the constant Cooper chatter.” Taylor laughed, “What does he say?”

Taylor laughed, “What does he say?” “He just always brings him up. Says how Cooper’s a good guy who really cares about me and stuff. He tells me that I should be with him. It’s so irritating.” Taylor smiled, “That sounds like Austen. He’d push you to be with Cooper because it’s the right thing to do. And because it’s the best thing for you.” “You sound just like him.” Taylor’s face softened. “What’s wrong?” Katherine sensed Taylor’s pain. “I just…felt bad for my brother for a minute.” “Why, ’cause he irritates me?” Taylor chuckled, “No, because I imagine it must be so hard for him to let you go and watch you love someone else…no matter how much he claims to like the guy.” Katherine sighed, “I don’t know how he can stand it. He’s a much better person than I could ever be.” “He always has been.” Taylor looked at Kat and quickly recovered, “Not better than you. Just a better person, in general. He was always that way.” Katherine grinned at her friend reassuringly. “I knew what you meant.” **** Katherine shivered as she waited in the cold winter air for Cooper and Danny to arrive. When she saw the black Jeep Wrangler pull into the parking lot, she thought to herself how different it looked with the hard top on. The guys hopped out to grab the bags as Katherine avoided Cooper’s eyes. She was

grab the bags as Katherine avoided Cooper’s eyes. She was scared to look at him. “Hey, California,” Cooper’s voice sounded different. Damaged or broken, somehow. “Hey, Coop.” She couldn’t avoid looking at him any longer. “Thanks for letting me come along.” His eyes revealed hurt and longing that made her feel even worse. “Any time,” he faked a smile. Once they were on the road, Katherine wondered where the rest of the guys were. “So who else is coming?” Cooper glanced into his rearview mirror and locked eyes with her briefly before looking away. “No one anymore. They couldn’t make it after all, so it’s just the four of us.” Katherine was both relieved and nervous. When they pulled into the driveway she was immediately happy she’d come. She’d never seen a house more breathtaking. It was three stories of light gray paint with white trim and she counted at least two separate chimneys rising from opposite ends of the house. Cooper parked the Jeep in the large three car garage. The first level had been converted into a huge game room. There was a pool table, foosball, pinball machine and a big screen TV with three separate gaming systems. “This is amazing,” Taylor said breathlessly. “Thanks,” Cooper replied politely and then glanced toward Katherine. Cooper led them upstairs to the second level, where sunlight

streamed in from every angle. Katherine immediately realized why there were so many windows. Views of the lake greeted her from each one. A balcony spanned the entire length of the second floor. “May I?” Katherine asked. “Of course,” Cooper responded and then watched as Katherine stepped outside and breathed in the crisp, winter air. She noticed a matching boathouse down below and smiled. It was perfectly charming. Katherine shivered and instantly remembered she wasn’t wearing a jacket. She turned back into the warmth of the house and found Cooper in the kitchen making coffee. “There are two bedrooms on this level and three more upstairs. You can look around and take your pick if you want,” he said. “Thanks.” She fell in love with the first room she walked into. Large windows lined an entire wall and faced the water. Katherine allowed herself to get lost in the beauty when Taylor bounced in and nearly scared her half to death. “Isn’t this place amazing? My God,” Taylor commented, her voice giddy and childlike. “It is ridiculous. Did you see the boathouse down there? It matches this house!” Katherine laughed. “Really? How cute!” The girls headed into the kitchen and the guys talked about driving around on the ice. Katherine interrupted, “Can we really go on the lake? Like, it will hold us and stuff?” She felt dumb for

go on the lake? Like, it will hold us and stuff?” She felt dumb for asking, but she didn’t know anything about frozen lakes. Cooper looked amused, “Oh, California, you’re so LA. The lake is frozen so thick that we could probably drive my Jeep out there if we wanted too. We have snowmobiles in the boathouse. We’ll take them out later.” “Really? That is so cool.” The whole concept was foreign to her. “I have no idea where I’d find anything completely frozen over back home.” “You probably wouldn’t,” Danny sassed. “I am SO excited!” Taylor squealed. “I love snowmobiling. So.Much.Fun.” She hugged Danny and he twirled her around. “I love you,” Danny told her softly, but Katherine heard. “I love you, too.” Taylor tilted her head up and gave him a kiss. Cooper watched Taylor and Danny with a pained expression. “California, did I do something wrong? What happened between us?” “Well, that didn’t take long,” Taylor commented, as she looked at Cooper. “Well I can’t take it anymore,” Cooper admitted. “It kills me not to be with you, Katherine. I can’t pretend I’m fine just being your friend.” “Danny, let’s go downstairs and I’ll kick your butt in pool.” Taylor grabbed his hand and pulled at him. “I’d rather stay and listen to this, though,” Danny half joked. “Come on!” She yanked his arm. “Good luck, you two!” Taylor shouted from halfway down the stairs.

Taylor shouted from halfway down the stairs. Once they were gone, Katherine looked at Cooper and her heart felt like it weighed a thousand pounds in her chest. “Cooper,” she struggled. “I am so sorry for everything. I know I owe you an explanation. It’s just that what I have to tell you is going to sound completely insane.” “I don’t care. I just need to know. I’ve replayed every moment we’ve ever spent together over and over in my mind trying to figure out what I did wrong. I can’t figure out what I did. Please just tell me.” “Cooper, you didn’t do anything wrong. How could you? You’re amazing.” “Then tell me what happened? Did you meet someone when you were back home over break?” his voice reflected his pain. “God, no,” the thought alone disgusted her. “There is someone else, though.” She paused when the look on his face nearly crushed her and quickly added, “But it’s not what you think.” “Is it Austen?” Cooper started to get agitated. “Who is he anyway?” His jaw clenched and then unclenched with each breath he took. “Cooper, please, sit down. It’s not what you think it is.” Katherine wanted him to calm down. “Then how is it, Katherine? You’ve got to give me something. Please, because I’m dying here. All I want is to be with you and you won’t let me. I try to get close to you and you push me away.”

“There is someone else. I know I already told you that…but it gets weird. And just let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She looked at him for confirmation that he would let her speak uninterrupted. “I have these dreams. And the same guy keeps showing up in them. I’d never seen him before, but after the first dream, I couldn’t get him out of my head. Remember the night of our first date, when I told you I thought I saw someone?” Cooper nodded his head, remembering. “Well, he had flashed into my mind right then and completely threw me. It was mostly weird because I hadn’t dreamt about him in weeks. After that night, the dreams didn’t stop and they haven’t stopped.” Cooper interrupted with a relieved, yet confused tone, “So my competition is some guy you dream about?” “I’m not finished,” Katherine smirked at him. “Sorry. Finish.” “This guy from my dreams, his name is Austen…and he’s Taylor’s brother.” “Great,” Cooper rolled his eyes. “I can’t compete with your best friend’s brother. That’s like written in the girl handbook or something on how to turn best friends into sisters.” Katherine shot him a look, “Hello? Still.Not.Finished.” Cooper looked at her with puppy dog eyes, “I promise I’ll shut up.” Katherine smiled and continued, “So Austen, Taylor’s brother, he’s dead. He died two years ago.” Cooper’s jaw dropped open in surprise.

“I’m finished.” “What do you mean?” “I mean, he’s dead. I saw his picture when I went to Taylor’s house for Thanksgiving.” “And that’s why you got weird after…” Katherine watched as Cooper silently put the timeline of her behavior together in his mind. “Yes. So...he comes to me in my dreams each night. And we, I don’t know…we spend time together. We laugh and play and talk…and...” Cooper winced. His body stiffened as he processed the information. “Do you love him?” he asked seriously. “Beyond reason,” was the only response Katherine could come up with, although it made her uncomfortable to admit to Cooper. “And I don’t say that to hurt you. I just don’t want to lie to you anymore.” “I appreciate that. One more thing...” “Anything.” “Do you love me?” Katherine inhaled deeply and gazed at Cooper through misty eyes, “I do. It’s just...different. I can’t explain it, but it’s not the same.” “We’re not talking like you love me like a brother or something, right?” Cooper asked for clarification. “Definitely not like a brother. Cooper, you’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, in real life.” Overwhelmed, he stated, “I can’t compete with a ghost.”

Overwhelmed, he stated, “I can’t compete with a ghost.” His words were so simplistic in their truth that they forced the tears to fall from her eyes, “I know.” “So what do we do? Where do we go from here? I’m in love with you, Katherine Johns.” He reached out and took her hands in his, “I want to be with you and I’ll do whatever it takes.” Her heart didn’t know whether to race or break. “I love you, too. I really do. I just don’t know how to be with you both.” He pulled her up from the couch and wrapped her in his arms. She sobbed uncontrollably into his chest and soaked his shirt. “I know it doesn’t matter what I say. The choice has to be yours.” “I’m so sorry, Cooper. I know the choice should be easy.” “Of course you should choose me, babe,” he stated and she snickered. “I know. It’s just not that simple.” “I just wish you would have told me what was going on sooner. I’ve been dying here, kid. Dying. Taylor wouldn’t give me a clue, so I made up ridiculous stories in my head. Did you know that you’re dating Zac Efron?” “Really?” she laughed a little. “I bet our relationship is amazing.” “Oh, it is. He took you on location with him over break. That’s why you stopped calling. You were too busy travelling the world with your movie star boyfriend.” “My life is so glamorous.” She squeezed him and stared into his green eyes. She could barely stomach seeing them in pain. She plopped back down on the couch and he handed her a wad of tissues.

of tissues. “Thanks.” He scooted next to her and tossed his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him the way she had so many times before. He kissed the top of her head and realized he wasn’t ready to lose this girl. But how do you fight a ghost…and win?

Chapter Fifteen Katherine was emotionally exhausted and drifted to sleep right away. The rest of the group sat in the living room talking about everything that had transpired between Cooper and Katherine. Danny listened to the story as he rubbed his temples. “That’s stupid. Why wouldn’t she choose you? You’re the only one in this equation still living, bro.” Then he looked at his girlfriend and said, “No offense, babe.” “No, it’s okay. I agree. Look, my brother wasn’t selfish in that way. He would never put his desires above someone else’s well being.” Taylor paused and reminisced. “I love my brother, but he wouldn’t want this for her…especially since he loves her.” She watched Cooper cringe at the mention of the word love. “You okay, Donovan?” Danny asked his teammate. “Yeah. It’s just pretty surreal. I had imagined a lot of things, but this was never one of them. How am I supposed to compete with this?” Taylor noticed the confusion and pain in Cooper’s eyes. It made her sad for him. “I think you just have to give her time, Coop. She can’t live like this forever. Eventually it’s going to

Coop. She can’t live like this forever. Eventually it’s going to have to end.” “You think?” Cooper’s shoulders relaxed as he let out a breath. “I do,” Taylor assured him. She remembered the pain of losing her brother like it was yesterday. She wouldn’t wish that type of torture on anyone and she hoped it would be easier for Katherine to let Austen go when the time was right. **** Austen and Brody waited at the shore as Katherine slowly walked up behind them. Austen turned when she was near and bent down to kiss her sweetly. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear. She was so at peace with him. “I love you too.” They walked along the beach holding hands. Her mind focused on the fingers that were currently intertwined with her own. Energy swirled between them. “Cooper’s lake house is pretty nice.” Katherine nodded in agreement even though she didn’t like it when he brought up Cooper. “So what are we going to do today?” “What do you want to do? I just want you to be happy.” Since their big talk, their time together had been more carefree and fun. Austen took her places and showed her things she’d never seen before. She got to show him where she grew up and her favorite places in LA. Their relationship felt so intense all the

time, they knew the only way to end it was to lighten things up. “Hmmm, I don’t know? Where should we go? What should we see?” Katherine tapped her finger against her mouth. “Is there anywhere you’ve always wanted to go? ’Cause I’m loaded, so it’s on me.” Austen winked. Katherine liked when their relationship felt normal, instead of what it truly was. “Well I’ve always wanted to go to Italy. Think you can swing it, ghost boyfriend?” He leaned close and confided, “I can swing anything you want, living girlfriend. I’m like magic.” He grabbed her hand and she found herself surrounded by the beauty of Venice. “Wow. It’s gorgeous here. And so colorful...and so old.” “You’re colorful and old,” Austen joked. They walked around the city, appreciated the architecture and found bliss in all their surroundings. The city seemed to be filled with people in love at every turn. Venice felt more alive than anywhere Katherine had ever been before. “Have you ever been here?” she wondered. “Oh yeah, I used to come here with my family every year,” he deadpanned. “Seriously?” she was surprised and jealous. “No.” Austen laughed, “The closest I’ve ever been to Italy was eating in Italian restaurants.” “You’re such a brat.” She pushed him slightly. “Takes one to know one.” “Really? Are you five?”

“Really? Are you five?” **** She woke suddenly to the morning light streaming through the windows and into her room. She was always surprised at how quickly real time passed while she dreamed. She looked out at the frozen lake and marveled at its beauty. The smell of bacon and coffee wafted in from the kitchen. She pulled herself out of bed and walked to where Cooper was cooking. “Can I help?” she offered. He turned to face her and she noticed that his eyes looked different. She wondered if he had cried and couldn’t stand the thought. “Want to set the table?” he pointed toward a stack of plates and silverware set neatly on the counter. “’Course,” she grabbed the pile and placed them down one by one. She looked back at Cooper. He was so strong and muscular that it was hard to look away. She thought about how cute he looked in his jeans and how his black t-shirt fit him perfectly, accenting all the right curves of his arms and shoulders. He turned around and caught her staring. She felt her cheeks flush with heat. “Come here,” he smiled. She rested the place settings on the table and walked toward him. He set down the spatula and grabbed her. He pulled her tightly against his body and squeezed her close. She timed her breathing with his and felt his lips brush the top of her head. “I’ll wait for you.” He breathed deeply, his chest pressing into hers. “As long as it takes. I’ll wait for you.” Her eyes instantly watered, “I don’t deserve it.” All she could

Her eyes instantly watered, “I don’t deserve it.” All she could think about was how terribly she’d treated him since Thanksgiving. If he had done that to her she’d hate him for it. At least she’d want to. “I love you.” He’d told her that twice now. “So, I’ll wait.” She looked up at his piercing green eyes and knew without a doubt that he meant every word. “It might take a while.” She didn’t want to give him false hope. She had no idea how long it would be until she was able to really let go of Austen and walk away. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.” He winked and gently kissed her cheek. She smiled, her heart bursting with love for the two incredible guys who had come into her life. “Except burn breakfast.” “Oh, crap.” He grabbed the spatula and quickly turned to the stove where the eggs and pancakes had burned to a crisp. Cooper tossed the smoking pieces of food into the kitchen sink and waved the smoky smell away. Taylor bounded down the stairs with Danny close behind. “Oh, good Lord, this kid snores like you wouldn’t believe,” Taylor screeched while she tried to stay away from him. “Me? It’s you who snores, woman!” Danny teased and then dove straight to her and tackled her onto the couch. He tickled her as she screamed and swatted at him. Katherine looked up at Cooper who laughed and continued to fix breakfast. “Can we go snowmobiling today?” Taylor asked, as sweetly

as she could muster. “I don’t see why not.” Cooper’s response made her squeal with delight. “But first, we eat.” He put the last plate of food on the table. He had made eggs, bacon, toast and potatoes. “Jeez, Cooper, this is amazing. Thank you so much,” Taylor said. “Yeah, Cooper, thank you,” Katherine added. Taylor looked at Danny and said, “Why don’t you ever burn breakfast for me, jerk?” Danny stared at her and shook his head. “Always making me look bad, Donovan.” “What can I say, it’s easy.” Cooper sat down across the table from Katherine and glanced at her between bites. Katherine couldn’t stop thinking. Her head reminded her that she needed to let go of Austen, but her heart fought the notion every step of the way. A battle raged and she honestly wasn’t sure which side would win. After breakfast the girls insisted on washing the dishes while the guys prepped the snowmobiles. Cooper gassed them up, found helmets and goggles for each rider and checked the weather online. When the girls finished, they headed outside in their winter gear and the foursome raced off. Katherine loved every minute of this adventure as the machine rumbled beneath her legs. The only thing she could compare it to was being on a jet ski in the summer waves of the Pacific. She drove fast, but wasn’t reckless. She pulled her snowmobile to a stop at a section of the lake that was atypically warmer than

stop at a section of the lake that was atypically warmer than other parts. The ice was thinner, but normally still frozen solid. She looked around at the snow covered trees that surrounded the lake. The way the white powder sparkled in the sunlight made her smile. She got off the toy she drove and walked softly on the frozen water, taking pictures with each new step. She wanted to share this day with her parents and friends back home. She took some photos as her friends horsed around and she noticed that no matter where she went or what she did, Cooper always had his eyes on her. It made her feel protected. She headed back to the snowmobile and scanned through the digital pictures she had just taken. The beauty of it all astounded her. Suddenly the ice let out a thunderous howl and started to crack under the weight of the machine. Cooper recognized that sound instantly and turned to yell something at Katherine. Before she had time to figure out what was going on, her body crashed violently into the ice cold water. A horrifying sound unlike anything she’d ever spoken tore from her lips. The water was so cold, it felt like a thousand needles stabbed her all at once. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She watched as Cooper’s terrified face rushed toward her. She could make her name as it screamed from his lips. Taylor and Danny were even further in the background shouting something she couldn’t hear. Katherine instinctively wanted to kick, but the water was so cold, her legs wouldn’t move. She tried to grab the edge of the

cold, her legs wouldn’t move. She tried to grab the edge of the ice, but she could barely lift her arms. The winter clothing meant to keep her warm suddenly felt like a weighted anchor. Nothing would do what she needed it to. Her body refused to cooperate. She was surprised at how quickly it gave up. Everything betrayed her, even her thoughts. Her brain stopped fighting to keep her alive. It simply wanted to make the cold go away as quickly as possible. Unable to move at all, she went under. She was surprised at how peaceful she felt. She turned her head slowly to the left and saw Austen’s image there. He gestured wildly, frantically waving his arms and legs. He screamed at her, or maybe he pleaded; she couldn’t hear a thing he said. She just stared at him with love in her eyes and a small smile on her lips. Austen begged her to fight. His mouth screamed at her to swim. But still she did nothing. He fought with his spirit to lift her, carry her, push her, move her, something! But he was powerless to do anything but watch. Terror was written all over his face. He loved Katherine and wanted to be with her, but not like this. He would never put her life in danger. Desperate, he tried one last time to get her to kick. Yet she did nothing but watch him. All she could think about was how freezing cold the water was, and how beautiful he looked. A large splash rippled through her vision and Cooper’s face suddenly appeared in front of hers. She looked into his eyes, which were wide with fear, as he grabbed her jacket and yanked

her head above the water. His body splayed out over the ice evenly as Danny did the same in the distance. He gripped onto Cooper’s feet as tightly as he could. Cooper had to go halfway into the freezing water to reach her and Danny was scared he might fall in, too. They both knew the water this time of year could and would kill you. Cooper screamed at Katherine to kick her legs as he tried to pull her out. She could barely think, let alone move. “Danny, pull!!” Cooper yelled at him in a tone he’d never heard before, not even on the rink. Taylor was completely freaked out. “Is she okay? Oh my God. Please be okay, please be okay.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. Taylor barely survived the death of her brother. She wasn’t sure she could live through this, too. They slowly inched from the break in the ice until Cooper was sure they were safe. He noticed Katherine wasn’t breathing. Cooper was losing his mind, but he went into action. He performed CPR on her while Taylor screamed things in the background. Cooper couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of his heart raging in his ears. Katherine still didn’t breathe, but Cooper refused to give up. He pushed on her chest in desperation. “Please,” he begged her, “don’t leave me. Not now. Please, Katherine. I just got you back.” Suddenly her eyes shot open and she coughed out the water lodged in her lungs. Cooper tilted her head and held her in his arms. She didn’t say a word. He ripped off her soaking wet

jacket and carried her to his snowmobile. He had to get the rest of her wet clothing off as well, but he didn’t want to waste any more time. He watched as her lips turned blue and her breathing fell shallow. “She’s breathing, right?” Taylor didn’t wait for a response. “Cooper, is she breathing?” Taylor hysterically asked. Danny ran to her, held her in his arms, and reassured her that it would all be okay. “She’s breathing. She’s just really cold, Taylor. You guys get home and start a fire and gather all the blankets you can find. I’ll meet you there.” Danny and Taylor sped off as Cooper leaned Katherine’s frozen body into his. He shivered as he forced his jacket to zip up around them both. Then he drove as fast as he could while he held her tight. He rode the snowmobile as far up to the house as it would go and then he unzipped the jacket, allowing Katherine’s shivering body to slide out. He scooped her into his arms and sprinted up the stairs. Cooper looked around at the blazing fire and the pile of comforters. “This is good. Taylor, you have to get all her clothes off. She can’t have on anything wet. It will only make it worse.” “Then what?” Taylor asked. “Then we start wrapping her in blankets.” Taylor did as he instructed and then promptly covered Katherine’s bare skin. “Okay. You can turn around.” Cooper walked quickly toward the only girl he loved. He positioned himself on the floor in front of the fire and scooted

positioned himself on the floor in front of the fire and scooted Katherine’s body into his. He wrapped himself around her and then piled the blankets onto her. Cooper gently rocked her back and forth and listened to her breathing. “Is she going to be okay? Do we need to take her to a hospital?” Taylor asked with worry. “Her pulse is almost back to normal. Her breathing sounds fine and her color is coming back. When she comes to, we can ask her how she feels. We need to keep an eye on her all night.” “How do you know all of this stuff, Cooper?” “I grew up on this lake. There are rules that come with that. At least, in my house there were.” “How are you feeling, Coop?” Danny asked. “I feel fine. I’ll be fine.” He didn’t feel fine, but figured he simply needed to get warmed up too. He watched as Katherine’s eyes darted back and forth beneath her eyelids and knew she was dreaming. He assumed she was with Austen. It hurt him more than he had imagined it would to think about. Here he had tried to save her life, and she was most likely out frolicking with her other boyfriend. He gave her a tight squeeze and hoped that if she was in a dream, she’d feel it. **** Katherine sat in the sand while Austen paced back and forth in front of her. His eyes were riddled with worry, fear, devastation, and heartbreak. “Did you see me in the water?” “Of course I saw you. All I could see was you,” she answered calmly.

calmly. “Do you know how hard that was for me? I had to sit there and watch you almost die, Katherine.” Austen was anything but calm. “It’s not your fault. Why are you so angry?” “Because I can’t keep you safe!” Austen threw his head into his hands and pulled at his hair. “Well, I don’t need you to keep me safe!” Katherine fired back. “I never asked you to protect me.” “You could have died today.” He grabbed his chest after saying those words out loud. “But I didn’t,” she snapped. “Katherine! I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Watching you in that water—knowing that I could do NOTHING to help you—it almost broke me today. Do you understand that?” “If I’d died, we’d be together right now. Don’t you want to be with me?” “Of course I want to be with you.” He kneeled down in front of her and took her face in his hands. “But not like that, Katherine. That cost is too great and it’s not your time. I don’t want to be with you if it means you’re dead too.” “Who made you God?” “Listen to me.” He sat in the sand and faced her. “Watching you today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t do anything to help you. Cooper could. And he did. You have a whole life in front of you. And

Cooper, he’s a really good guy and he loves you.” “Why do you always make this about Cooper?” she screamed through her tears. “Because it is about him, Katherine. He risked his life to save you.” he paused to look at her face. “And you love him too. And that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel bad about loving someone who isn’t me.” She looked into his blue eyes and caressed his soft skin, “It’s not the same kind of love.” “I know that,” he told her, “But I need you to know that it’s okay. Loving someone else doesn’t take away from what we have. No one can take this from us. It will always be ours.” Relief coursed through her veins. She hadn’t realized it before, but maybe she somehow needed his permission to love Cooper. His blessing. His approval. She needed to know that it wouldn’t make him feel any less loved if she loved someone else. “Will we ever be together, you and I?” She was desperate for answers that would make the idea of letting him go easier. If she had the promise of futures with Austen, then maybe, just maybe, she could walk away from him in this life. “Oh, Katherine Johns, we have many lifetimes to share together. After this one, of course.” He knew what she needed to hear. “You promise?” His words gave her hope. “I’ve seen them,” he lied, and she smiled. **** Her eyes opened to find those familiar green eyes staring back

Her eyes opened to find those familiar green eyes staring back at her.

Chapter Sixteen “Hi, favorite eye,” Katherine said to the eye with the speck in it. “How are you feeling?” “I think I’m okay.” She noticed the amount of blankets piled on top of her body and quickly tossed a few off. “Were you dreaming?” Cooper asked her innocently, with a hint of sadness. “I was.” “Were you with him? I mean, how does it work? Are you with him every time you go to sleep?” “Not every time, but pretty often. Does it bother you? I mean, now that you know?” She was tired of making everyone around her feel bad, especially Cooper. He had been perfect since the moment she’d met him and he didn’t deserve to be in constant pain because of her. “It’s just hard, I guess. I know that if he was alive right now, you’d be in his lap and not mine. I know that if he was physically here…I wouldn’t be. And that thought alone makes my stomach knot up.” She took a deep breath and acknowledged he was right. If Austen were alive, she would be with him. Of course she would. Her heart wouldn’t allow her to be with anyone else. Her soul would align itself next to his like a magnet. “But he’s not here,

would align itself next to his like a magnet. “But he’s not here, Cooper. You are.” “What if it’s not enough? What if you never get over him?” “Cooper. I told you last night that I loved you and I meant it. I know you’re not Austen. And on the flip side of that, Austen’s not you. I don’t want you to be anyone or anything you’re not. I promise you that who you are is more than enough for me.” Cooper leaned down and brought her mouth to his. For the first time in months, she was happy it was Cooper’s arms that held her. “You could have died today,” she said with a question in her voice. “Yes,” Cooper answered, very matter of fact. “Why’d you do it? I mean, what if you would have fallen in too?” “I couldn’t just sit there and watch you drown. I didn’t have a choice.” “What do you mean?” “My body kicked into gear. It was like my instincts were in overdrive and I knew I had to do whatever it took to save you. My brain didn’t stand a chance against my heart.” “So if you could have stopped yourself, would you have?” “Are you insane? All I meant was that before I even had a chance to think, I was in the water. Had I let my brain catch up to my body, I still would have done the exact same thing.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “Nothing about the person I am would ever let anything happen to you. Not as long as I can help it.”

it.” At that moment she’d never felt more secure. The fact that he had literally risked his life for hers was something she couldn’t fully process. It was something you had to experience to grasp. “I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you for saving my life.” “You’re probably indebted to me forever now. So basically, I think I own you.” Katherine laughed. “Own me?” “Oh yeah. Come on, it’s a fair trade.” “You’re crazy.” “Crazy about you,” he reminded her, but she didn’t need the reminder. They were kissing when Taylor walked in. “Oh gross, you two. Get a room.” Taylor bent down next to Katherine. “I was so worried.” “I know. I’m sorry.” “How are you feeling?” “I think I’m all right. I mean, I feel good right now. But I am kinda hungry.” She glanced at Cooper. “It would be a good idea to get you to stand up.” “Okay,” Katherine agreed. At this point, she’d do anything Cooper suggested. “You okay?” he asked her, concerned. “Just a little light headed and dizzy.” “That’s normal.” Cooper helped Katherine into a chair and then worked on fixing up soup, bread, and pasta.

Katherine’s mind reeled. She flashed back to her fall through the ice, seeing Austen and then suddenly seeing Cooper. She couldn’t get past what Cooper had done for her today. The accident suddenly forced everything into perspective. Katherine knew she could no longer continue living—if that’s what you called it—in her sleep. She had been living to dream. Everything that happened during the day was just one step closer to where she really wanted to be…asleep and with Austen. And while she didn’t fault herself for her actions, she knew it was time to move on. Her chest ached with the realization. But amidst all the pain, she felt a small sliver of relief. And that sliver informed her that she was making the right decision. Taylor’s laughter stopped Kat’s daydream. She laughed when she noticed the boys dancing around the kitchen wearing aprons. Sometimes the best dreams happen while you’re wide awake, Katherine thought to herself. “How are you feeling, California?” Cooper asked. “Much better, thanks.” “Good!” “Do you see how much food you just ate?” Danny pointed at Katherine’s empty plate. “Almost dying takes a lot of energy,” she quipped back. “Oh yeah, you’re fine. Thank goodness,” Taylor smiled. The girls cleaned up the dinner mess while the guys headed downstairs to play a quick game of pool. Danny creamed him. “What’s wrong with you, man? I never beat you in pool.”

“What’s wrong with you, man? I never beat you in pool.” “Off night, I guess.” “You feeling all right? You don’t necessarily look all right.” Danny asked, concerned. “Oh yeah. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” “All right, bud. I believe you.” “One more game?” Cooper asked and Danny racked the balls. “So…things seem different between you and Coop,” Taylor noted. “Today sort of changed things. I can’t explain it, but I feel different inside.” “Like, you and my brother are going to break up?” “At some point, yeah. I mean, this was a wake-up call. I can’t keep living the way I’ve been living.” “I know it must be hard, but you’re doing the right thing.” “Thanks. I know it’s the right thing to do, but my heart doesn’t like being logical.” Katherine grabbed onto a chair for balance as her eyes rolled back. “Whoa. You okay there, cowgirl?” Taylor asked. “Yeah, just a little dizzy. Plus, I’m really tired. I’m sure it’s nothing,” Katherine smiled to reassure her friend. “I’ll go get the guys, you go sit down,” Taylor insisted and Katherine obliged. Cooper refused to let Katherine out of his sight and in all honesty, she didn’t mind. It was the first time in ages her thoughts were only of him. She didn’t wish or want to be anywhere else. She fell asleep on the couch in Cooper’s arms. He refused to

She fell asleep on the couch in Cooper’s arms. He refused to let her spend the night alone after the traumatic day she’d had. When she woke up once during the night she smiled as she felt Cooper’s arms still wrapped securely around her. They both startled awake to the sound of doors slamming shut and a car speeding away. They thought nothing of it and shook it off. “Do you want to go get into your bed?” Cooper asked. “I think so.” She started to get up, but Cooper didn’t budge. “Come with me please. I don’t want to sleep alone.” Cooper followed her into the bedroom and they both lay on top of the bed. He pulled the comforter over them as Katherine snuggled into his chest. They fell asleep in each other’s arms. **** Katherine walked down the familiar sandy path toward the silhouette on the bench. The beach was dark and the moon hung in the sky above as if waiting to witness the heartbreak about to come. Austen stood and met her on the pathway. She started to speak, but he stopped her. He pulled her close and sang softly into her ear. They slow danced together by the light of the moon. Tears poured from her eyes and her heart felt like it had dropped to the sand below. Austen tried to hold back his own tears, but failed. He knew why she had come and the pain of that realization was too much, even for him. She broke the silence. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“I know.” He brushed her cheek and more tears fell. “It hurts so much. I need you to know how painful this is.” She placed his hand above her heart. “I know we keep saying it’s the right thing to do, but wouldn’t it be easier?” “Sometimes the right thing to do is the harder thing.” He leaned down to kiss her sweet lips. “I love you, Katherine. I always will.” His words almost brought her to her knees. She thought they might give out on her at any moment and she’d tumble to the ground at his feet. “I don’t think I can do this, Austen.” She cried so hard that she had trouble breathing. She clenched at her stomach. “It hurts.” Her chest felt like it had caved in on her from the inside. “I know, babe. I know.” He tried desperately to comfort her. “I can’t. It’s too much. I can’t do it.” She wept in his arms. “Oh, God. I don’t want to live without you.” The reality of saying goodbye to him forever was simply too much. Austen knew Katherine needed him to be strong. He wiped at his tears and gained control of his voice. “I’ll never leave you. I’ll always be here, Katherine. We can’t keep doing this. You know why you came here tonight. You have to do it.” Any sign of weakness and she’d convince them both that leaving was wrong. He was certain it wouldn’t take much effort on her part to make him change his mind. She sniffed and let out a quick huff. “You’re right.” She looked into his clear blue eyes. “Do we just say goodbye then

and walk away like nothing? Like it never mattered or happened?” “Don’t say that. We both know it was the wrong time for us. But we matter. We will always matter.” He kissed her again, his lips savoring the taste of hers. He knew it would be their last, so he made it count. There was more passion in that one kiss than in most people have in a lifetime. “I will love you until the day I die,” she told him. “Well, I’m already dead and I still love you. So I win,” he half smiled. “That’s not funny.” “I know.” He cupped her face again. She looked at him with longing and took one last deep breath. “Goodbye, Austen.” She gathered up all the courage she could muster and walked down the path, away from the beach. She knew if she didn’t leave now, she never would. Her legs tried to stop walking. Her heart begged her to stay. Her eyes willed her to turn around and look at him one last time. But there was no way she could see his face again and continue to leave. So she continued to stumble forward. “Goodbye, Katherine.” Austen stood and watched until she was out of sight. He wanted to run after her, stop her, scream at her to stay. But he knew all he could do was allow her to walk out of his life forever. Once he was sure she was gone, he fell to his knees in heart-wrenching pain and clutched his chest, sobbing her name.

heart-wrenching pain and clutched his chest, sobbing her name.

Chapter Seventeen Cooper woke to the sound of Katherine’s sobs. She cried in her sleep and tears streamed down her cheeks, soaking her pillow. He wanted to wake her, but he guessed where she was and who she was with. Out of respect, he let her continue sleeping. He watched her shake and cry. It hurt him to see her in such pain and he wanted to make it go away, but knew it wasn’t his place. He thought of her and Austen and assumed they were happy, laughing and loving. It made him sick to think about. Then she opened her eyes. He watched as she wiped the tears from her face. “Are you okay?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear her answer. She looked at him and steadied her breathing, “I will be.” “Did something happen?” “I think I need to go for a walk.” She pushed away from his arms and out of the bed. Cooper didn’t want her to wander around outside by herself. What if she was still weak and something happened to her? He started to get up when she stopped him, “I need to be by myself right now, Cooper.” “Did you change your mind? About us?” He didn’t know if one night’s dream could change everything that had transpired between them. She looked at him softly and reassured his worried heart. “No. I haven’t changed my mind. But I need to be alone for a

“No. I haven’t changed my mind. But I need to be alone for a bit.” She tried to stifle the sound of her aching heart, but it was obvious to him she was hurting. “Bring this, please,” Cooper handed her a walkie-talkie. She reached out to take the slick black device and rolled her eyes at him. “You never know. You might feel light headed or something.” “Okay, weirdo.” She closed the door behind her and headed into the chilly air. **** Katherine looked for a place where she could sit and be alone with her thoughts. Being with Cooper so quickly after Austen was painful; she felt like she didn’t deserve either of them. Her heart ached as she grieved. She wanted to fall to her knees and scream at the very idea of never being able to talk to or feel Austen again. Her mind shifted between moments of extreme sadness and sheer happiness as she thought of all that she and Austen had shared. Her perspective altered to one of thankfulness. She knew it was rare to experience what she had and she felt genuinely blessed. Peace and silence engulfed her. It was as if she had the entire lake to herself. She silently thanked Austen for all he had given her. She told him she loved him and that no one could ever replace what she felt for him in her heart. Her body filled with warmth as she closed her eyes and let the snow fall on her face. Cooper’s image filtered into her thoughts. Thinking about him brought excited chills to her body. He had always deserved her heart and she was finally ready to give it to him. Well, most of it

heart and she was finally ready to give it to him. Well, most of it anyway. She would never have her whole heart to give. She wiped away the lone teardrop that rested on her cheek and brushed the snow from her pants. With one last thought of Austen, she walked back toward the house…and Cooper. The walkie-talkie clicked and she let Cooper know she was on her way back. He met her at the door with a steaming mug of tea. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him carefully, trying not to spill. “Thank you for being so understanding about everything. I really appreciate it.” He set the cup down and lifted her up into his arms. “So you’re still in love with me then?” “Absolutely.” He pressed his lips against hers and kissed her until she could barely breathe. “We should probably get going. I’ll go find Taylor and Danny.” Katherine smiled and thanked him again. She headed into the room where she slept and her things were scattered all over the floor. She didn’t remember leaving it like that. She walked into the bathroom and it was more of the same. Bottles were strewn all across the countertop and along the floor. A confused look spread across her face as she bent down to pick everything up. “Maybe I did this last night and I don’t remember? Weird.” Just then Cooper rushed in and asked her if she had seen Taylor or Danny. “No. Why? Can’t you find them?” “No. They aren’t anywhere. Where would they have gone?”

“Maybe they went for a walk? Did you check outside?” Katherine shrugged. “I’ll go look now. You didn’t see them when you were out there, did you?” “No.” Then she remembered the eerie quiet, “I…didn’t see anyone.” Cooper headed out of the bathroom and she heard a door slam. Katherine had a weird feeling that something wasn’t right. She walked into the kitchen and noticed a mess of plates and she searched her memory. Hadn’t they just cleaned the dishes last night after dinner? She swore they had. She heard the downstairs door slam as Cooper ran up the stairs. “My Jeep isn’t here.” “What?” Cooper’s eyes were crazy and for the second time since she’d met him, he looked scared and unsure of himself. “The Jeep is gone and they aren’t here.” “What is happening and why is it so cold, Cooper? I’m so cold all of a sudden.” He walked over to her and squeezed her tight. “Jesus, Kat, you’re freezing.” He wrapped as much of his muscular body as he could around her small frame. “Do you hear that?” They both stilled. “Is that…crying?” Cooper strained to hear. “It sounds like it, but where is it coming from?” Katherine ran from room to room, trying to get closer to the sound. A faint beeping sound could also be heard. “What is that?”

A faint beeping sound could also be heard. “What is that?” “What’s going on? I’m scared.” She looked at Cooper and his face was chalky. “Cooper, your face. It’s so pale.” “What do you mean?” He lifted his hand to touch his face, and collapsed to the ground. Katherine screamed. She knelt next to his lifeless body and tried to shake him awake. She cried and screamed his name, but he wouldn’t come to. She put her head on his chest and sobbed, “Cooper, please wake up. Wake up.” “He’s dying.” The voice cut through her cries like a knife. Her heart flipped out of her chest as she turned to see Austen standing above her. He didn’t look like himself and he didn’t seem happy to see her. “Austen. What’s going on? What’s wrong with Cooper?” She looked down to see Cooper again, but he was gone. “Where’d he go?” She screamed out his name, “Cooper? Cooper!!” “He’s dying, Katherine. And so are you.” Austen spoke the words carefully and slowly. “What? What do you mean? We survived the fall in the ice,” she struggled to recall. “Didn’t we?” “At first, yes. But something happened to you both last night. Taylor and Danny drove you to the hospital.” “But I felt fine.” She tried to put the pieces together. She replayed the events of the night and the day. Some thoughts were a blur, but others were crystal clear. “What about everything else then? Was it all a dream or did it really happen?” “You mean, did you really tell me goodbye?”

“You mean, did you really tell me goodbye?” She looked down at her feet before answering. “Yes. Was that real?” “It was. But everything else…well, let’s just say you’re not awake right now.” “What do you mean not awake?” “You’re unconscious, Katherine.” Austen maintained his composure as he spoke every word to her without emotion. “Unconscious? Like, a coma?” “Precisely.” “Cooper too?” she asked half-crazed. “Cooper too.” It was difficult for Katherine to see Austen and not be with him, but she had to force those thoughts from her mind. Her concern was more for Cooper than it was for herself and she had to focus on how to save him. “Austen. We have to help him.” “I’m not sure we can.” The way he spoke irritated her. “Austen!” She got angry. “I’ve already lost you. I can’t lose Cooper too. I won’t be able to live through it!” “I know. I’m not sure what I can do, but I’ll do whatever I can.” The crying got louder. “What…is that?” Katherine closed her eyes tightly and when she opened them, she was in a hospital room looking down at her own body. Taylor sobbed as she held Kat’s limp hand. “Oh, Tay. I’m right here. Taylor!” Katherine

yelled at her friend, but Taylor remained unmoved. “She can’t hear you.” Austen refused to leave her side. “Where did Cooper go? What happened to him? He was with me and now he’s gone.” Katherine knew what she and Cooper had shared was real. Even if it was only in a dream, it still happened. She had to find him. She ran out of her room and yelled for him down the hospital corridor. “Cooper! Cooper where are you?” She clumsily crashed into every hospital room door looking for his body. “Katherine?” She heard him yell her name, but he sounded so far away. Austen stopped following her and stood at a distance to watch. “Katherine!” Cooper continued to yell until he was close enough for her to respond. He rounded a corner and practically ran into her. “There you are! How did we get here? Did something happen?” “Cooper.” Katherine searched for the words to explain it to him. “We’re not okay.” “What do you mean we’re not okay? You’re dumping me already?” He half smirked at her. “No. I mean, we’re like physically, not okay. We’re in this hospital because you and I are here.” “I know we’re here. I can see we’re here. But WHY are we here?” Austen interjected. “She means that you’re both here, in comas.” Cooper looked at Austen. “Austen?” He glanced at Katherine

Cooper looked at Austen. “Austen?” He glanced at Katherine and then back at Austen. “Yeah,” Austen responded as good-naturedly as he could through his concern. “Well, this can’t be good. If I’m seeing a dead guy, then something’s definitely wrong with me.” Cooper tried to laugh, but he started to worry. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” Katherine took Cooper’s hand and walked him toward Austen. “It’s about time you two met.” They shook hands and for some unexplained reason, Austen felt familiar to Cooper. “So what’s going on? Why are we in comas?” Cooper directed his question toward Austen. “You both had after-effects from being submerged in the freezing water. Katherine’s brain was affected from the lack of oxygen.” He looked at her and then turned back to Cooper. “Your condition is...different. The damage is in your chest, which wouldn’t normally put you into a coma, but it affected your heart and your ability to breathe properly. And voila, here you are.” “So, who found us? I mean, how did we end up here in the hospital?” Cooper struggled to put the pieces of the puzzle together. “Taylor found you on the couch when she came down to get water from the kitchen. She wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but she could hear the way you were breathing and it was like each breath took all of your effort. And you were both so pale. She tried to wake you, but neither of you would come to. She panicked. But rightly so.”

panicked. But rightly so.” Cooper and Katherine both remembered the sound of the doors slamming and the car driving away. “So, how do we wake up? I’m ready to get my body back.” Cooper wondered. “It doesn’t work like that. Trust me.” Austen remembered back to the day of his accident. “I wanted to hop back into my body so bad and wake up, but I couldn’t. I kept trying, but nothing worked. I guess sometimes life has other plans.” “So, we just sit here forever?” Cooper looked at Katherine, whose hand he still held. “Not that I’d mind spending forever with you, Kat, it’s just that I’d rather do it alive.” He shot a glance toward Austen. “No offense.” Austen smiled, “None taken. I’d rather be alive too. Especially if it meant one more day with her.” He looked at Katherine with softened eyes. Katherine started to feel weak. “Guys, I don’t feel well.” She started to lose her balance and Cooper realized that he was literally holding her up. “Something’s wrong with her.” Cooper panicked and looked at Austen. Katherine passed out in his arms and disappeared. “Come on!” They ran toward Kat’s hospital room. Taylor still held her hand, but Katherine’s spirit was nowhere to be found. “Where’d she go? Where is she?” Cooper was like a wild animal. Austen shook his head, “I don’t…I don’t know.” The machines hooked to Katherine’s body suddenly started

beeping and making noise. Taylor looked up at them and nurses filled the room. “You’ll need to step out please,” the nurse told Taylor. “What’s going on? What’s wrong with her?” Danny heard Taylor’s voice from down the hall and ran to find her. “Oh, Danny, something’s wrong.” Taylor could barely stand being in a hospital since the death of her brother. Danny comforted her and kissed her head. “She’s going to be okay. She’ll pull through this.” “I hate hospitals.” Katherine suddenly appeared. “Where’d you go?” Cooper asked her. “I don’t know. One minute I was with you and then suddenly I was gone. But I can’t remember where I went.” “That happens sometimes,” Austen reassured her. “How do you feel now?” She took a moment to search for the answer and find the words. “Strong, like I want to fight.” Austen smiled, “That’s good.” Cooper was confused. “Sorry, but can someone explain to me what this all means?” “Her body wants to fight and her spirit can feel that. The strength is a good thing. It means she hasn’t given up on living.” Austen looked at her with loving approval. “I don’t feel that way,” Cooper admitted quietly. “What do you mean you don’t feel that way? How do you feel?” Katherine was anxious.

“Weak. And confused.” Katherine’s eyes widened and her gaze darted between the boys. She clutched at Austen and pleaded, “Austen, what does that mean?” “We need to find your body, Cooper. You’re losing the battle. Come on.” The three of them ran down a long white corridor and into the room where Danny sat vigil at Cooper’s bedside. Cooper looked down at his lifeless body in the hospital bed and felt nauseous. “I don’t want to die, so why do I feel like this?” “It’s your body, Cooper. It’s fighting with your mind. But you can win. You just can’t give up.” Color came back in Katherine’s face and she appeared to glow. Both boys stared at her, each one deeply in love. “I feel weird, you guys. Like I’m being pulled away from here…” “It’s your body, Katherine. It’s calling for you.” “To die?” she asked, horrified. Austen laughed, “No, my love. To live. It’s time for you to wake up.” “But I don’t want to leave you!” She looked at both of them. “You know I’ll always be here,” Austen reminded her. Cooper grabbed her hands. He looked in her eyes and said, “You have to go. Go wake up, Katherine. I’ll be right behind you.” “But you said you feel weak. That’s a bad sign,” she pleaded emotionally. “I won’t leave you. I’m not waking up if you’re not

emotionally. “I won’t leave you. I’m not waking up if you’re not waking up, Cooper.” Austen became agitated. “I feel better now. Much stronger,” Cooper lied with a smile on his face. “Now you go and open your eyes first. One of us has to wake up first.” She refused to move or let go of Cooper’s hands. “Katherine.” She turned to look at Austen. “I’ll take care of him. I won’t leave his side.” “You promise?” “I promise.” She walked to Austen and hugged him. “Thank you.” “Now go.” He tried to reassure her with his eyes. “I love you both so much,” was the last thing she remembered before her eyes opened. She found herself looking right at Taylor’s sobbing face. “Katherine! Oh, God!” Taylor hugged her and yelled for the nurse. “Cooper?” was the first word she muttered. Taylor couldn’t hide the look on her face. “Katherine, Cooper’s…” “He’s in a coma, I know.” Taylor was shocked. “How did you know that?” “It’s a long story, but listen,” Katherine moved to get up. “We have to go get him now. He should be waking up and I have to be there when he opens his eyes.” Taylor held Katherine down in her bed. “What are you talking about? You can’t move, Katherine. You need to rest.”

about? You can’t move, Katherine. You need to rest.” “He told me to wake up first, and I did. Now it’s his turn to wake up. Let me go!” Taylor fought to keep Katherine still when Danny walked into the room. “Danny! He’s awake right? I woke up first so he woke up too, right?” Danny looked at both girls before shaking his head. “He hasn’t woken up yet, Kat. I’m sorry.” “That can’t be right. They both said he’d wake up after me.” Katherine said things that didn’t make sense to Taylor or Danny. They told Kat they’d be right back and they stepped outside her room. “What’s the matter?” Taylor could see the bad news written all over Danny’s face. “The doctor said he just fell even deeper into his coma.” Taylor’s eyes welled up with tears. “What? Why?” “They aren’t sure.” “We can’t tell Katherine that; it will break her.” Taylor tried to plan. “You should go back with Cooper and I’ll stay here with her.” “Okay. I love you.” He kissed her cheek and walked away.

Chapter Eighteen Austen exhaled when Katherine opened her eyes, “She actually listened.” Cooper looked at him and smiled. “Thanks for your help. There’s no way I could have gotten her to do that without you.”

There’s no way I could have gotten her to do that without you.” “Of course,” he said with understanding. Cooper looked at Austen before asking, “Do we know each other? I know that sounds crazy, it’s just that you seem familiar to me.” “It’s not crazy. We may have met once or twice before.” Austen thought back to a time and place long before the one they were currently in when Cooper Donovan was his best friend. “Yeah? Seems that way,” Cooper was too distracted to ask any more questions and he took Austen’s answer without reservation. “Now, tell me how you’re really feeling.” Cooper looked at him, “Pretty weak, honestly. I don’t understand, though.” “What do you mean?” “It’s just that I’m a pretty strong guy, so for my body to give out on me so quickly…it doesn’t add up.” Austen agreed that it made little sense. “I don’t have all the answers, Cooper. Sorry.” “So what do we do now?” Neither wanted to leave Katherine’s bedside, but Cooper’s weakness grew. They knew they couldn’t avoid that reality for long. “We sit here with her. For now,” Austen replied. They watched Katherine cry for Cooper and talk out loud about Austen. Taylor listened, but had given up trying to figure

out what Katherine meant while was still in this state. From time to time, Katherine would scream Cooper’s name and start crying. It caused Austen and Cooper so much pain. They would run to her side to calm her, but she couldn’t hear them. “Does she know we’re here? How does it work when you do it? How does she hear you?” Cooper wanted to know. “For us, it only worked while she was sleeping.” Cooper cut him off, “But that’s not true. She saw you once before when we were together. Or maybe more than once, I can’t remember.” “No, you’re right. That’s because her guard was down. When she’s not trying so hard to see or feel me, that’s when I can get in. Otherwise, she’s amazing at blocking me out.” They both smiled. “So she can’t see us right now?” Cooper wondered. “No.” “And you’re certain she can’t hear us?” “I’d bet money on it,” Austen added. Katherine drifted in and out of sleep. Taylor worried she’d fall back into a coma, but the doctors assured her that this was normal sleep behavior after a trauma. Every so often Kat was certain she could hear Cooper and Austen talk to each other. But when she tried to listen, the voices would disappear. Cooper was surprised at how comfortable it was to be around Austen. “Why don’t I hate you? I mean, shouldn’t we hate each other?” Cooper asked out loud, chuckling. “I definitely shouldn’t hate you. I mean, I’m the one who’s

“I definitely shouldn’t hate you. I mean, I’m the one who’s dead, so how selfish would that be?” Austen responded. Cooper nodded his head in agreement, “Pretty selfish. I thought I would want to punch you in the face or something, but I don’t.” “Thanks for not busting up the goods.” Austen laughed as he grabbed at his chin. “Weird.” “What?” Austen asked. “This whole thing. I don’t know. How I feel. How I felt before I met you. The fact that I’m meeting you. Can I ask you something?” “Of course.” Austen knew he had no right to feel anything but gratitude toward Cooper Donovan. He knew that Cooper had saved the love of his life. He also knew that Cooper was the only guy he could see loving her after he was gone. It was just like the last time. “Is it hard for you?” Cooper wondered. “To what? See you and Katherine together?” “Yeah.” Austen paused before answering. “Yes and no.” He took a breath. “I mean…I love her more than I can put into words, so all I want is for her to be happy. And if it’s not going to be me in her life, I’m really happy that it’s you.” Cooper was surprised at Austen’s response. “Thanks. That means a lot,” he said, relieved. “Is it hard for you?” Austen was curious. “It was,” Cooper nodded. “All I knew was that every time

“It was,” Cooper nodded. “All I knew was that every time she went to sleep, she was with someone I could never compete with. That realization was the hardest, I think.” “But you know how much she loves you.” “I also know it’s not the same,” Cooper spoke without disdain. Austen nodded. “But it doesn’t have to be the same for it to mean the world to her. She loves you in ways she doesn’t love me.” “How do you know that?” “Because I can feel it. And I see the way she looks at you.” Cooper felt the blood rush out of his body. “I don’t...” “Cooper!” Austen yelled, but it was too late. Katherine woke and popped up in her bed. “Taylor. We need to go to Cooper right now. RIGHT NOW!” “What’s wrong?” “I don’t know. I have a bad feeling. Take me there now, Taylor!” Kat threw back the covers and pushed at Taylor, not sure if she were trying to help her out of bed, or keep her in it. “Okay, okay. Come on.” Taylor helped Kat get out of bed and they rushed toward Cooper’s room. Austen watched, unseen, from the hallway. Danny stopped the girls at the door. “You can’t go in there, Kat,” Danny insisted, as he grabbed her arms and held her tightly. She struggled and tried to push her way through the hockey player. “Let me in there, Danny! Cooper! Cooper, don’t you leave me!” she cried from the hallway.

A nurse walked by and admonished, “You have to keep it down, miss. Please.” She turned to Taylor. “And you really need to get her back to her room! She shouldn’t be out of bed.” “Cooper!” Kat’s knees buckled under her weight. She heard the solid beep coming from the machine and knew what that sound meant. “Don’t leave me! You promised you wouldn’t leave me. Wake up! Cooper!” Austen crouched behind her and held her in his arms. She couldn’t feel him, but he didn’t care. “Dammit, Cooper, where are you? I know you’re here! Cooper!” Austen yelled for him. He started running through the hallways looking for him. He shouted Cooper’s name around every corner. He had to be somewhere close and Austen was determined to find him. “Come on, Cooper, where are you?” “Austen.” The voice was so weak he barely heard it. Austen looked down and saw Cooper sitting on the floor. “What’s going on?” “You’re dying.” Austen spoke the words void of any emotion. Cooper understood what happened and accepted it. He closed his eyes before Austen grabbed him and shook him. “Snap out of it, hockey boy!” Cooper glared at him. “What’s your problem?” “Right now YOU’RE my problem.” Cooper tried to stand, but couldn’t. “What do you want from me?” “I want you to fight! I know it’s easier to give in. I know everything in you is telling you to do just that. But you have to

everything in you is telling you to do just that. But you have to fight it, Cooper.” “I don’t have the strength.” “Do you want to die?” Austen grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him outside the hospital room where Katherine screamed and cried for him. “If I had a second chance, I’d give anything to be with that girl. And you still can. Don’t quit on her! She would never quit on you!” Austen’s eyes burned with rage and sorrow. Seeing her and hearing Austen’s words lit a fire in his soul. “How do I do it?” “That’s the spirit!” Austen got down in Cooper’s face. “You fight. When you feel that peaceful weakness...and your body begs you to give in to it, you don’t let it win.You have to stay strong. Use everything in your power to fight through it.” “What if I can’t?” Cooper concentrated on breathing. “You can! And you will. It won’t be easy, but you have to fight, Cooper.” “Will you help me?” Cooper didn’t think he could do it alone. “Of course.” Austen reached out a hand and helped Cooper to his feet. “Do you feel that?” Austen asked, sensing the pull on Cooper’s soul. “Yeah. It’s strong.” “That’s the feeling you fight. Walk away from it. Don’t give in.” Austen was firm. “It feels like it would be so much easier to not fight. It’s peaceful.”

peaceful.” “Of course it would be easier. It would be quitting! Look at Katherine, Cooper. Look at her. It will break her if you don’t pull through.” Austen knew she would be the only thing that could get him through this. He had to make sure Cooper concentrated on her and remembered why he wanted to be alive. Cooper watched as the doctors frantically pounded on his chest, and he touched his own to see if he felt pain but there was none. Austen reminded him not give in and shouted Katherine’s name. Suddenly, Cooper started to feel stronger and the machines’ beeping was slower and less strident. The medical staff congratulated each other in relief as Katherine rushed into the room and leaned over to plant kisses on his face. “Now it’s your turn to wake up, Cooper. You told me to wake up first, and I did. So now it’s your turn.” She turned and looked up at the ceiling before saying, “You said you’d help, Austen. You promised.” Cooper squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, but when he opened them he could still see Austen. “It didn’t work?” he asked, confused. Austen smiled. “It worked. You’re still alive. You’re just not awake yet. We’ll get you there.” Cooper felt his strength grow. “Thank you Austen. For everything.” “You’d do the same for me.”

“I’d like to think so.” Taylor walked Kat back to her room and insisted she rest. Katherine climbed back into her own bed and fell asleep quickly with the help of a sedative. She found herself in Cooper’s room with both of her loves. “Austen! Cooper! What’s going on, why aren’t you awake yet?” Austen hugged her and told her that things were taking a little longer than he had hoped. “Cooper’s body isn’t taking him back that easily.” “Well…make it!” she insisted stubbornly. “I’m trying, babe. I really am,” Cooper told her. “You almost died. What happened?” “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have made it without Austen.” Katherine turned to look at Austen before mouthing the words ‘thank you’ to him. She squeezed Cooper and reminded him, “You promised you’d wake up.” “I know.” “Then do it, already!” she demanded. She looked around and saw she was alone in an empty room. Neither Cooper nor Austen were there, but she could still hear them talking. She yelled for them, but it was clear they couldn’t hear her. She ran around trying to find them, but no matter where she ran, the voices never got any closer. So she stopped running and listened. “I keep feeling stronger,” Cooper explained to Austen.

“That’s good. You should be able to go back soon.” “What will you do?” “What I’ve always done. Watch over the people I care about and wait for them to join me here.” His gaze met Cooper’s. “But not for a long time,” he reassured him. Cooper nodded his head. “Will you still dream with her?” “Didn’t she tell you?” Austen asked. “Oh, right. You don’t know.” “Know what?” “Katherine told me goodbye. We’re not going to see each other any more.” “You can’t do that.” Cooper was shocked. Austen laughed. “What do you mean?” “I just don’t think you guys should do that. I’m sure it’s not what she truly wants. And I’m fairly certain it’s not what you want.” “We both know it’s for the best. She wasn’t free to truly live her life or be with you as long as I was a distraction.” Cooper understood. “Look, I just think there ought to be some sort of middle ground or something? Can you honestly tell me you have the strength to stay out of her life forever?” “I could never promise that.” Austen didn’t see the point in lying. “Well. I just want you to know that I’m okay with you seeing her. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather she not fall head over heels for you again and ditch me,” he laughed, “but if there’s a way for you to still talk to her when she needs you or something, I think it

you to still talk to her when she needs you or something, I think it would good for both of you…for all of us.” Austen had been right about Cooper Donovan. If he couldn’t be with Katherine, then Cooper was definitely the right guy for her. “Thank you, Cooper. That really means a lot.” “Thank you for everything you’ve done. You’re a hell of a guy. I understand why this was so hard for her.” He reached out and they shook hands like friends. “Do you feel that?” Austen sensed the change. “Is it time to go?” They walked side by side toward Cooper’s room where his body lay. The moment Cooper got near it, he felt the pull. “I think I can go back now.” Austen nodded. “It’s time. Next time you open your eyes, you should be back.” “I promise I’ll take good care of her.” “I know.” Cooper opened his eyes and saw Danny sleeping awkwardly in the chair next to him. “Wake up, man.” Danny moved at the sound and stood up when he saw Cooper’s eyes were open. “Oh man. Good to see you. Don’t ever do that to me again.” Danny hugged his best friend. “Yeah. Sorry about that.” Cooper half smiled. **** Katherine heard familiar footsteps heading toward her. She sat in the corridor with tears rolling down her face. Austen sat down next to her and kissed her cheek. “Did you hear?” “Every word.” She smiled at him.

“Every word.” She smiled at him. “So then. I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” “I guess so,” she responded with happiness. Austen stood up to leave. “Austen?” He stopped. “Thank you so much...for saving Cooper’s life...for making mine worth living…for everything.” “You’re welcome. And thank you for loving me.” As he walked away, she opened her eyes.

Chapter Nineteen Katherine sat at the foot of Cooper’s bed and waited for him to wake up. Danny and Taylor headed back to the lake house to get some real sleep and pack up their things. Cooper started to stir and he accidentally kicked her. “Sorry,” he said, as he opened his eyes. “Cooper!” She leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Hey there, California,” he smiled at her. “I’m so happy you’re okay.” She couldn’t believe she had almost lost him. “Me too. What a crazy day.” “No kidding.” She wasn’t sure if he remembered anything or not. But when Cooper said, “That Austen is one really great guy,” she knew he remembered everything. “So are you, Cooper Donovan.” …Two Months Later …

…Two Months Later … Cooper skated around the ice as if he had never had to battle for his life. He led his team to the state championships and broke the school record for goals scored in a single game. Katherine cheered like crazy from her seat next to Taylor. The girls waited for the guys to get out of the locker room and Katherine marveled at how perfect her life had turned out. The locker room door opened and out walked her handsome hockey star. He threw his arms around her and kissed her head. “I’m starving. Please tell me you’ll feed me, woman.” She laughed. “I don’t know, you were kind of a showoff tonight on the ice. It’s really rude.” “Rude?” he mocked. “Yeah. There’s a whole team out there, Donovan, geez. Not like you have to go breaking records all on your own. You could let other guys on the team feel like their presence is at least necessary. See? Rude.” “I’ll show you rude.” He picked her up and swung her around while other couples looked on. The entire campus knew what happened that weekend at the lake house, but no one ever mentioned it, at least not directly to them. There were articles about it in various papers and the college had published in-depth interviews with both Katherine and Cooper. But no one other than Taylor and Danny knew the whole truth, the truth that included what Austen had done. “I love you, Katherine Johns.”

“And I love you, Cooper Donovan.” He kissed her as Austen’s image popped into her mind. She didn’t flinch or pull away. She simply thought of Austen with love. He smiled at her and her heart felt warm and full. “Everything all right?” Cooper asked, as he pulled away. “It’s perfect,” she said, touching the side of his face. “Tell Austen ‘hi’ for me,” he said, and winked at her. Her mouth fell open in surprise, and she asked, “How’d you know?” He smiled at her as they walked hand in hand toward Dom’s restaurant as Danny and Taylor followed close behind.

The End

Other Books Coming Soon Chance Encounters - Coming Spring, 2012 Before the Dreams (The Dream Series, Book #2) - Coming Fall, 2012 Turn the page for a sneak peak at Before the Dreams (a past life story), book #2 in “The Dream Series.”

LOVE

“I can’t believe you’re carving our initials into this tree, Mister Dailey,” Katherine teased playfully, and touched the top of his head. Her eyes followed the traces of muscles flexing against his black shirt as he jabbed the blade into the tree. Austen immediately dropped the knife to his side and looked at her. Her long brown hair blew lightly in the breeze and the sun illuminated her very being. “Did you want me to stop?” he asked. She smiled with love and softly replied, “No. I think it’s sweet.” “I think you’re sweet, Miss Johns.” His mouth crooked into a smile and her heart fluttered. Katherine had loved Austen for as long as she could remember. There were times she felt as though breathing took more effort than being with him did. Their mothers had been close friends and so Katherine, Austen, Taylor, and Blake had always been together. Katherine looked around from her seat in the tree and caught glimpses of her home in the distance. It was almost completely hidden from view behind the magnolia trees, their magnificent branches draped with long gray wisps of Spanish moss. The main house was two spacious stories of wood painted a brilliant white with dark blue plantation shutters that framed each window. The front of the house had five snowy marble columns that spanned from the veranda all the way to the roof perched above the second floor. The first level was a wide veranda with steps that led to the wide, double-door entry. The second floor had a balcony that

matched and spanned the length of the house. That’s where Katherine spent most of her time. She often enjoyed the warmth of southern evenings and wrote letters to Austen by lamplight while she gazed at the stars. “All done.” Austen smiled and lifted Katherine with ease out of the tree. He gently set her on the ground to admire his handiwork. She smiled when she saw ‘AD + KJ’ surrounded by a heart. She traced the carving with her finger, feeling every bump and rivet in the tree’s bark. “May I kiss you?” he asked her politely. “I don’t know, Mister Dailey. Do you deserve it?” She toyed with him, but he didn’t mind. “I most certainly think so. I just spent a good, what...” He glanced at his pocket watch before continuing, “twenty minutes carving our initials into this here tree so the whole world could see how much I love you.” “Well then,” she smiled. “You may.” He laughed as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. His lips touched hers softly at first before the kiss grew in intensity. The connection between them was so raw and instinctual, they almost couldn’t control it. It had always existed between them, so they never questioned it. To Austen and Katherine, the way they felt about each other was just the way it was supposed to be. They didn’t know any differently. Footsteps bounded in their direction and Austen gently pulled his lips away. He held Katherine’s face in his hands as Cooper

his lips away. He held Katherine’s face in his hands as Cooper ran up, breathless. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Aus. Something’s going on in town with Danny. We need to go.” Cooper glanced at Katherine; the slightest hint of jealousy flickered in his worried green eyes. “Afternoon, Katherine,” he said politely, as he tipped his hat. “Afternoon, Cooper.” She smiled sweetly at her boyfriend’s best friend. Austen looked at Katherine and with one last kiss promised, “I’ll be right back.” He turned back to Cooper. “Let’s go.”

Before the Dreams- Coming Fall 2012

Acknowledgements First and foremost, I have to thank Boyfriend & Blake…who dealt with being ignored, snapped at, shushed constantly and basically shut out of my life while I wrote and fell in love with these characters. It’s always those closest to you who suffer the most. Thank you for your patience & understanding (let’s pretend you had a choice- ha!). I must thank the amazing musicians and artists whose music inspired scenes in my head…and whose lyrics I couldn’t escape

inspired scenes in my head…and whose lyrics I couldn’t escape at night while I dreamed. Thank you for helping me in more ways than you know. I want to thank my friends, Susan, Kaki, Elyssa, and Becks, for reading early drafts of this book and loving it more than I could have hoped. Also to Cat & Kristina, for giving invaluable feedback that helped this book become THAT.MUCH.BETTER! It grew to what it is because of your help. Thank you. Thank you to my cover models, Kaki & Andrew. You gave me exactly what I needed for this cover—thank you for being perfect! :) To my editor-in-training, Teri, who was forced to put up with daily text messages, emails and phone calls (do you have more pages yet?!?!). I was blessed to have someone who not only believed in my story, but loved it as well. Thank you for all your hard work! I appreciate it so much. Last, but certainly not least…I have to thank my dear friend, Tray. Without her, this story wouldn’t exist in any form. Thank you for sharing your family and friends (especially your brother) with me. Love you.

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Table of Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Other Books Coming Soon LOVE Acknowledgements Connect with J. Sterling Online