UN-Breakable - Lessner S.K (ang.)

UN-BREAKABLE S.K. Lessner

This book is a work of fiction, although some scenes reflect my own experiences. The names and places have been changed. Please be aware that this story contains graphic scenes that include rape, harsh language, and sexual content.

TABLE OF CONTENTS Copyright Dedication One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-one Twenty-two Twenty-three Twenty-four

Twenty-five Twenty-six Twenty-seven Twenty-eight Twenty-nine Thirty Thirty-one Thirty-two Thirty-three Thirty-four Thirty-five Thirty-six Thirty-seven Thirty-eight Thirty-nine Forty Forty-one Forty-two Forty-three Epilogue Thank you!

Copyright © 2017 S.K. LESSNER UNBREAKABLE All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. UN-Breakable is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only. Editing by Stacy Broadbent Interior Design by Masque of the Red Pen Cover Design by Taylor Sullivan

This is dedicated to the millions of men, women, and children whose voices are never heard. May we one day live in a world where rape and sex trafficking never exists. For those who, like myself, have been the victim and fought the battle in silence ~never give up! It is my hope that this story empowers anyone who has been through similarly traumatic situations, filling them with the strength and encouragement to know that they can overcome any evil that is brought against them ~ because our bodies may be broken, but our spirit will forever be UNBREAKABLE.

I’ll kill him. One day, I’ll have the perfect opportunity and I. Will. Kill. Him. It’s not a lack of courage holding me back. It’s simply a lack of opportunity. The only thing I haven’t decided is if I’ll kill him fast, or make him suffer like he’s done to me all this time. As good as that sounds, I think I want out more than anything else. Seeing as how I’ve unsuccessfully tried to escape countless times, his quick death is the only solution at this point. Leaning my head against the cold, woodpaneled wall, I wrapped my arms around my naked legs and pulled them up to my chest. The single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling grabbed my attention as the string to turn it on swayed back and

forth without rhyme or reason. This little closet, bare except for a lumpy, brown-stained pillow, and one thin, cotton blanket, has been my home for the past six months. I’m allowed underwear for one week of the month. Otherwise, I’m to be naked at all times. I’m only allowed out occasionally and almost always to serve a purpose. My master, as he calls himself, determines when those times are and what the various reasons may be. There is no schedule. Nothing for me to predict what might come next. I only know it’s been six months because of the rising and setting of the sun that shines underneath the door, and the tally marks that I’ve carved into the wall with my fingernails. Each line signifying another day in hell that I’ve survived. I closed my eyes and drifted to my safe place, my life before I was brought here. Six months may not seem like a long time, but when confined and treated as a slave, it’s enough to drive a person insane. Some days, it took me a few attempts before I could remember who I truly was. Other days, it was all I could do to force myself to forget that, that person ever existed. I was so naïve, believing that if I did good then karma would be good to me in return. I quickly learned how untrue that was. At twenty-two years of age, I’d just graduated from the University of Georgia and had decided to experience being wild

and carefree for the first time. I’d always been a bookworm, determined to make more of my life than my disastrous, drug addicted family had before me. I refused to end up like them; broken down shells of people that barely existed and spent all of their waking hours in search of their next high. Seeing as how I’d finally made it, had an amazing job offer to begin working for the esteemed Monroe Management Firm in New York City, and a future that looked promising, I agreed to go with two of my friends to Daytona Beach and enjoy a weeklong celebration after receiving our diplomas. Knowing I would be leaving from there and flying directly to New York where I’d begin working long hours in order to make my way up the ladder, I let myself go, freely enjoying what every other college student had experienced years before. I’d been having the time of my life, oblivious to anything or anyone around me other than my friends and the few sexy men I’d flirted with here and there. Little did I know, what was supposed to be my last day of vacation and the beginning of my dreams coming true, would soon turn into a nightmare from hell. Noise on the other side of the closet door caught my attention, abruptly ending my daydreaming. Pulling the string to turn the light off, I moved into the furthest corner of the seven feet by three feet area and covered myself with the scraggly blanket. I knew I couldn’t hide from him.

He’d come regardless. But it was the only form of comfort I had and I refused to completely give in and surrender to him. Even if I did exactly what he asked, he’d still treat me the same way. I know. I tried the obedient route a few months ago. Regardless of my actions, he was the same vile, evil, wicked bastard day after day. “No! I’m not gonna settle for that!” His harsh, scratchy voice echoed through the house, sliding under my door, the tentacles of sound reaching for me in the darkness and threatening to tear me apart. I felt sickened from his voice alone. Yet, I had to listen. Knowledge was power. And I had very few opportunities like this. Creeping silently on my hands and knees, I moved to the locked door and laid on my stomach. Angling my head, I closed one eye and peered through the inch high gap between the bottom of the door and the hardwood floor. He was in the kitchen. Two rooms away. His shadow dancing across the living room floor as he paced back and forth. “Hell no!” he yelled even louder, rattling the door beside my head. I had to force myself to maintain calmness. His voice was like a weapon, permeating with fear and fire, violating me from the inside out. “Fine. Tomorrow at seven.” His voice was angry, yet resigned.

Coming to a stop in the doorway, he threw his phone against the wall across from me, shattering it on impact. Straining to see as much as possible, I watched him reach up to his nasty, coal-black hair, pulling at the roots in anger. “Ughhhh,” he growled loudly, removing his hands from his hair and swinging his arm toward the wall. The plaster and drywall were no match for his wrath. With a sickening, loud thump, his arm effortlessly broke through the material. I watched in horror as the picture next to him teetered back and forth before falling to the floor and bursting into a million tiny pieces. Suddenly afraid of his response, my chest heaved in and out, fearing what might be next. Me. Yet, I couldn’t look away. With great effort, he twisted and pulled to free his hand, chunks of drywall showering all around him. With his arm bathed in white dust, the blood appeared in stark contrast. Far more than I thought possible from a single punch. Holding his limb out in front of him, he squinted and inspected the cuts, seeming as surprised as I was by the destruction he’d caused. When he turned his body, the glint of light from the kitchen landed perfectly along his arm, highlighting the river of crimson flowing from his wrist, around the inner forearm, and dripping from his elbow. I gasped, instantly wishing I could take it back. It was a mistake I knew I’d regret. I’d involuntarily

reminded him I was there. His head whipped in my direction and I held my breath, hoping and praying he’d forget about me. No such luck. He tilted his head, inquisitively looking toward my door as if planning his next move. Even though I couldn’t see them, I knew the sable brown in his eyes was disappearing, the pupils growing until they were almost entirely black. I’d seen that look a thousand times. I knew what it meant. “Oh, Gwen,” he called in a sing-song voice, taking a step in my direction, all but forgetting about his hand. “Dear, sweet, Gwendolyn,” his malevolent voice sneered, the sound echoing beneath the door and directly to my heart. Unable to breathe or stop the thumping in my chest, I reversed to my ‘safe’ corner and tried to hide. It was ridiculous actually. It was nothing more than how a caged dog acts. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop. With my legs pulled as tightly as possibly against my body, I stared at the doorknob, waiting for it to turn. His steps were agonizingly slow, each floorboard of the old house creaking as he made his way closer. Without a doubt, I knew he did it on purpose. He was the master of mind games. Foreplay, as he called it. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should know better, little bird,” he continued in that irritating, sing-song voice. I absolutely hated his nicknames for me. Each one made me want to claw my ears until I

was deaf. When he added his psychotic taunts, I longed for the times he’d knock me out, sleep taking me into its silent oblivion. It was sick how something so terrible could be regarded as a saving grace. Sick, yet truthful. This was the anguish of my life now. Depressing, hopeless, and utterly miserable in every way. I watched the light under the door disappear as his feet neared the closet, a floorboard’s creak confirming his location as he came to a stop. The muffled sound of change and keys jingling in his pocket was followed by a metal key sliding into the lock. Pursing my lips, I fought against the desire to cry out in fear. With a click, the key turned, unlocking the door. My breathing, already labored, became even more difficult—my breaths becoming shorter as my chest rapidly rose and fall. The clink of metal upon metal rang out, signaling that he’d dropped the key back into his pocket immediately before the rusty old knob started to turn. My heart beat so fast, so hard, I was sure he could hear it. Closing my eyes momentarily, I took a deep breath, hoping to stay calm long enough to avoid provoking his anger and wrath any further. He pulled the door open in agonizingly slow motion, wreaking havoc on my already shattered nerves. My body trembled both inside and out. I dreaded his visits but hated being alone. Nothing made sense in this world, especially not him.

Unable to stop myself, I opened my eyes and watched with horror as the closet filled with light. The brightness was blinding as I shifted my legs toward the shadows, fighting to stay hidden as long as possible. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I’d savor every second that I didn’t have to be exposed to him. “Now, Gwen, is this any way to greet your master?” he scolded me. “I’m injured and in need of help. But you’re refusing to assist me. Why is that?” I should go to him. I should assume the position he’d forced me in to so many times before. But I couldn’t. The small amount of self-esteem that remained refused to give in and bow to him. Fight or flight? I was all for both of those options. I’d fight until the day I died or until the day flight was possible. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, bending down to grab my blanket. A flick of his wrist and he yanked my protection away, leaving me naked, trembling in fear. I knew it did no good to hide from him, but self-preservation was difficult to ignore. Regardless of how many times he’d punished or tried to teach me the correct ways in his world, my mind ignored it all and fought to hold on to the tiny part of me that still existed. “Do we really need to go over the rules

again?” He sounded tired, disappointed, and angry. “I thought by now you’d be compliant.” Without any further warning, he took a large step inside and grabbed my hair by the roots. The long strands were tangled in his fist, and he was furiously yanking me toward the door. I’d once loved my long blonde hair, but now it was nothing more than a torture device, the pain burning and cutting along my scalp. Realizing I’d already tested his patience, I set aside my fight for the time being and began crawling as he pulled me toward him. The relief along my scalp was instant, even though he didn’t release his hold. Coming to a stop in the door frame, I assumed his favored position—on my knees, head bowed, arms tucked inside. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, afraid that anything I did at this point would only aggravate him more. “Sorry?” he yelled, his voice again echoing throughout the house. “You’ve been sorry for the past six months, Gwendolyn!” Yanking my hair backward, I was forced to look up and into his soulless eyes as he tightened his hold even more. Blood coated his arm from elbow to wrist, spreading to my hair, and dripping onto the floor as he continued to bleed from his wounds. He seemed completely oblivious to his injury now. His complete attention was focused on

me as his nostrils flared and his face contorted in fury. With eyes that shone deathly black and red flashing in the center, I knew it was a warning, a beacon burning brightly inside the darkest recesses of evil. “Sorry doesn’t begin to cut it, beautiful. I’ve had about all I can take from you,” he whispered in disgust, his breath hot and smelling of brandy, right before his free hand reared back and slapped me across my cheek. Tears sprung to my eyes. My face stung in agony. And I could taste blood beginning to flow from my lip. But I refused to give him the satisfaction. Tightening every muscle I had, I fought against the sorrow and pain and stared unwavering into his soulless eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d hit me. And I knew it wouldn’t be the last. But I was fighting with all I had not to give in to his manipulation. Staring at me in shock, surprised I still refused to admit his supremacy, his entire body began trembling. The motions ricocheted down his arm, through the hand that continued to hold my hair in a vice grip, and against the back of my head. I’d never seen him so intensely angry before. He was completely ferocious. Whatever had made him so upset before, combined with my current form of rebellion, must have pushed him over the edge. For the first time since I’d arrived, I truly feared what

might come next. “Enough!” he bellowed loud enough to rattle the nearest windows. Spittle flew across my face and combined with the blood in my hair, as I watched in horror as his body continued to shake before me. I was terrified. He’d yelled, slapped, kicked, even burned me many times before, but this was different. I saw the final transformation, the shift in his eyes, and knew this might be my last day alive. I’d pushed him many times before but had never seen such a deadly glare from him. Without saying the words, I knew my time was up. I had the urge to beg, plead, promise to do anything he asked of me. I suddenly wanted to be what he wanted, hoping that one day I’d find a way out. But seeing the steel determination in his eyes, my spirit waved the white flag. He’d won. He could have me, hurt me, kill me. Whatever he chose. I was done fighting. Death was a welcomed escape I’d never truly considered before. “Yes…Master.” I whispered the words he’d begged and demanded me to say every day for the last 180 days. I lowered my eyes, hopelessly staring at the floorboards, and let the tears fall. My body released its fight, my muscles relaxing and accepting what I’d fought so hard against. Unable to do anything else, I listened but dared

not lift my eyes again. He gradually released my hair and stood motionless in front of me for an extended time. The silence slowly eating away at my already broken state. With a loud sigh, he crouched down, his knees bending and appearing in my line of sight. Sliding two overly warm fingers under my chin, he lifted my face to look at his. I felt the wetness sliding down my cheeks. I felt the lingering sting from where his palm had connected with my cheek. But I was done. He could have whatever he wanted. “Yes, what?” he asked quietly, his eyes wide in surprise. “Y-yes, Master,” I replied, allowing another tear to escape and roll down my cheek. Tilting his head to the side, studying me, his eyes returned to their normal brown, the evil temporarily restrained. Lifting his free arm, he brought his hand to my cheek, cupping it inside his calloused and dirty palm in a deceptively tender way. I wanted to be sick, remind myself that, that was the same hand he’d used against me only moments before. But I was numb. Completely and utterly numb. “Now that, Gwen,” he said softly while his finger wiped the tears off my cheek. “That is what I’ve waited so long to hear.”

I wanted to look away. Look anywhere other than at him. But he continued to hold my face, sliding his fingers from under my chin, along my jaw, and cupping my other cheek. With my head now firmly resting between the monster’s hands, his eyes roamed my features as his alcoholic stench and sweaty palms seared my senses. He seemed to be searching for some answer, studying me like he’d never seen me before. “You’re just so beautiful, my little bird.” I felt my body twitch, its last twinge of rebellion kicking in and wanting to kick him, hit him, scratch his eyes out. But before I had a chance to decide on any or none of those, there was a sudden loud and persistent banging on the front door. “Damn it!” he whispered to himself, removing his hands from me and standing up. “I’m coming!” he yelled to whoever continued to knock aggressively. Glancing down at me, he breathed a long and harsh sigh. “You? You just saved your life. But I want you here and ready when I get back. You understand?” I didn’t hesitate, regardless of how much I wanted to. “Yes, Master.” I glanced up at him then returned my eyes to the floorboards before me, but not before I saw the cocky grin spread across his

face. “I said I’m coming; stop hitting my damn door!” he yelled again, pulling my attention back to him. He looked confused like he didn’t know what to do with me now, and he definitely wasn’t happy about whoever was annoyingly pounding on the door. “Stand up, Gwen. I want you standing here, waiting under that halo of light until I come back. No matter how long that is. And do not make a sound. You won’t get any more fucking chances!” As I stood, fighting the protest in my cramped muscles, I nodded my head agreeably and whispered appropriately, “Yes, Master.” “That’s my girl.” His creepy smile reappeared just as he shut the door and walked away. I was left alone, naked in my little closet. This time with no blanket to hide behind. One might think I’d spend the time berating myself for giving in. Maybe even contemplate everything that had happened and try to reason with myself about my choices. But nothing came. No remorse. No guilt. No fear. Dear God, no happiness. Absolutely nothing. I felt nothing. Staring straight ahead at the door, I began counting the different squares and inspecting the pattern in the various shades of wood that were present. I was used to standing for long periods of time. This wasn’t the first time he’d forced me to

do so. It was, however, the first time I did it willingly. I quickly became lost in the wood, the faces I could make between the grains when two men’s voices filtered through the closet door. “That wasn’t the agreement, Nick,” my tormentor, my master, spoke angrily. I pictured them in the living room, both walking toward the bar in the corner, their footsteps easy to hear and follow on the hardwood floor. Master’s voice wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t quiet either. He was most definitely becoming aggravated and upset again, the same way he’d sounded on the phone earlier. “I’m not here to discuss any agreements. You know as well as I do. I’m here to give you Boss’ warning.” The new voice spoke in defiance, strong and confident. I pictured him tall and muscular, void of fear, standing up to the evil monster I’d so easily given myself to a few minutes before. “You knew this was coming.” “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” Master spoke again, his voice deflated. “Here, have a drink.” “I’ll take water if you have any. I don’t mess with that stuff.” Master grunted, clearly unimpressed with this man’s values. I, on the other hand, was surprised and wished I could see him more clearly. He was somebody who stood up to the evil one, fearless in

the face of such a demented person, who had values I could respect. As if God himself heard my request, the closet door slowly slid open, stopping once there was about a six inch gap. The calm façade I’d allowed myself disappeared in an instant. My heart began pounding, my breath caught in my throat. He’d think I did it on purpose. Even though I hadn’t even considered escaping for once. Surprised by my thought, I didn’t know what to do. Pull the door closed? Try to get the new person’s attention? Stand still and hope neither noticed? All the ideas and expected consequences of each began tumbling through my mind as I stared forward, trying not to panic as I decided what to do. Suddenly, a glass slammed against the bar, and footsteps sounded behind the door. A moment later, master walked to the kitchen, followed by the man I’d listened to moments before. Although the light in the kitchen was bright and his back was facing me, making it impossible to see his face, it didn’t stop me from taking in every inch of him that I could see. He was tall and very muscular. I almost wanted to smirk at my own assessment earlier. If I were in a better situation, I would’ve done just that. His tight black t-shirt stretched tautly over large and well defined shoulders. His jeans hugged each curve along his strong backside, down his powerful thighs, leading to well-worn black leather boots. He

was a walking powerhouse. Watching the two enter the kitchen together, I realized they must work together, or at least be in some sort of business together. Especially after listening to what they’d said earlier, it only made sense. But if that was correct, I wouldn’t know who would be the worst master of the two. What if I made myself known, only to find myself in a worse condition later on? That thought, and knowing I’d already given up, made my decision. I’d quietly shut the door, hoping to earn some trust from the evil monster I already knew. Maybe one day I’d finally have the opportunity to kill him after all. Waiting for the right moment, I took deep calming breaths, trying to alleviate my nerves. I wanted to know where the two men were before I stepped forward and reached out to close the door, but I was unable to hear what they were saying. Whatever it was, it was muffled and didn’t sound pleasant. Quickly deciding I’d either run out of time or fail completely, I leaned forward, lifting my arm toward the door. I’d almost reached the doorknob when he, the WWE lookalike, walked through the kitchen doorway and stepped into the living room. My delay, my procrastination, may have just become my final farewell. Returning to my stockstill stance, arms at my side, I stared at him, anxiously waiting to see what would happen next. He stopped almost as quickly as he’d

appeared. His body instantaneously rigid as he looked at me, taking in every inch of my unconcealed body. I couldn’t see his eyes clearly with the light shining from behind him, but I saw the shock and surprise flash across his face. I imagined it matched the look on mine as well, my eyes refusing to lower while they waited to see what would happen. We stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, but I knew it was only seconds. His shock was quickly changing to anger and disgust. Considering what might have triggered the sudden change, I remembered my nakedness. With dried blood lingering on my face, hair, and chest, I wished I could move into the shadows. Yet, even while ashamed and embarrassed, I was unable to pull away from his powerful stare. I was trapped, both physically and mentally. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, fear growing immeasurably as I watched his emotions continue to play across his features in rapid succession. His jaw began grinding, the slight dark beard mesmerizing me as I watched it move. Without turning, he called out, “Alex,” his voice far angrier than before. “Get me another water before I leave.” Refusing to end the visual connection we had, he softened his features ever so slightly and angled his head toward my closet door. He was silently

telling me to shut it before Master came through the room. He didn’t say the words. He didn’t mouth them. Yet, I understood completely. With one short, but shaky nod, I agreed. His body tensed and he turned immediately, ending our silent appraisal of one another, and returning to the kitchen. I didn’t waste the opportunity this time. With a shaky hand, I reached out, grabbed the knob, and closed the door as quietly as possible. Silently thanking God for whatever had just happened and whoever that may have been, I closed my eyes and sighed.

What the fuck? You’ve got to be kidding me! I didn’t want to deal with this idiot in the first place. My plane out of Jacksonville, Florida was leaving tomorrow morning and I was planning on a new life, a new start far away from all this shit. Preferably on the other side of the continent. When Boss had told me to go take care of this one last thing, I wanted to protest, remind him he’d already agreed I was done and free to go. But I knew that might’ve opened an entirely new can of worms. So, I’d obediently done as he’d said. Now, as I stood there staring at this low life loser handing me a second bottle of water, I knew that can was suddenly the size of a dumpster and there were roaches the size of rats crawling around everywhere. Taking a drink, I heard the faint, almost silent,

click of the closet door in the other room, and breathed a small sigh of relief. She’d understood, listened when I thought she might try something outrageous instead. But if I were honest with myself, I wasn’t surprised. All the fight seemed to be absent from her eyes. They were almost lifeless, only the small flicker of hope mingling with fear when she saw me. She certainly wasn’t a new acquisition here. When I had left the kitchen earlier, I’d planned on continuing through the house and walking out the door. Alex had been given his final warning. I’d done my job. I was going home to finish packing and get a good night’s sleep before I needed to leave for the airport. I never imagined I’d find someone like her in such a place as this and in such poor condition. I wasn’t a fool. I was fully aware of the side business Boss had been involved in over the years. The sex trade was too lucrative for him to pass up. But thankfully, I’d never been forced to personally take part in it. Until tonight. She’d stood there, frozen in complete fear. Her body was only partially hidden by the closet door. Other than the ratty blonde hair that hung over her shoulder and partially hid her breast, she was granted no modesty. She had a multitude of bruises covering her honeysuckle skin, her face looked red and tear-stained, and her ribs were far more pronounced than they should’ve been. The dried

blood that lingered beside her lip, along her jaw, and down her chest almost made me end Alex’s life right then and there. But I’d learned the hard way years before, not to take one of Boss’ men without permission. Fighting against every urge I had to take her away from there, I stood there staring, unable to say or do anything I wanted to. I watched in horrid fascination as she stood absolutely still under the hanging lightbulb. The glow made her appear like an angel, almost heavenly. But I knew better. I knew what that stance was. I knew what the closet was used for. And I knew far better than anybody what would soon become of her. Replacing the lid on my water, I grabbed the one Alex was holding out for me as he waited impatiently for me to take it from him. “I’ll be back,” I spoke loud enough that I knew she’d hear me while Alex would only assume I was warning him again to complete the job Boss had assigned him. Turning away from the sick bastard, it took immense control not to open the closet, throw her over my shoulder, and take her with me. But not only would Alex be a problem, the two men who were waiting for me outside would never allow it. They were two of Boss’ top recruiters and trainers. They’d take me out before ever losing a piece of their business. Reluctantly forcing my feet one foot in front of

the other, I quickly made my way out of the nasty, old house, eager to get inside my truck and get the night over with. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew without a doubt I would get her out of there. Or I’d die trying. “Let’s go.” I nodded to the two guys waiting outside, walking briskly past them and toward my black quad cab truck waiting on the street. I didn’t want to answer their questions, explain anything to them. Not when I had to figure out how the hell I was going to deal with this new development. Maybe they’d let me drive in peace without the inquisition. Doubtful. But one could hope.

It had been at least an hour, if not two since the muscular man had left. I spent some of the time debating what the best course of action would be at this point. In all the time that I’d been here, I’d never seen the somewhat tender look that my master…no, Alex had given me. I’d obeyed him before, but I’d never once uttered the words ‘Master’ to him, regardless of how often he tried to force it out of me. Deciding that giving him what he wanted would most likely produce better results than rebelling again and fighting back, I chose to continue where I had left off. I don’t know why I felt a twinge of hope after seeing that man, Nick as he was called, but I did. Maybe I’d finally lost myself, my sanity, completely. Maybe this was only the beginning of the end. But deep inside, I was a fighter, and I’d continue to fight until the day came

that I couldn’t fight any longer. I wasn’t as broken as Alex may have believed. The remainder of the time I spent thinking about how Nick had stared so intently at my naked body. I hadn’t felt like he was looking at me inappropriately. On the contrary—I felt his anger over my condition, my captivity, and my future. It was hard to explain. But the more I thought about him—his facial expressions, his body posture—I was certain I understood him in a way I’d never understood anyone before. Without saying a word aloud, he’d convinced me not to give up, to continue to fight another day. Alex had been pacing the kitchen floor, angrily talking on the phone, and slamming cabinets and drawers repeatedly. My body trembled any time I’d focus on him and his unseen actions or words. I knew what damage he could do when he was upset. It took much practiced willpower to keep from imagining those thoughts again and again in my head. Thankfully, I had something else to distract me now. Only the loud interruptions brought me back to where I was and the fear that surrounded me. Shifting my weight from foot to foot, I listened as the house grew quiet. I was growing tired and hungry. I wondered how much longer it would be and felt my eyes begin to drift closed. Fighting against the fatigue, I lifted my eyes as wide as

possible, rolling my neck in hopes of waking up. Just as I debated the idea of sitting down and suffering his wrath, the floorboard nearest the closet creaked, the doorknob turning a moment later. I lowered my eyes immediately, unsure of what mood he might be in. His worn leather loafers stepped into view, and I found myself silently wondering why he wore them if he wasn’t going to put a penny in the slot that was there. My grandfather had worn the same shoes, always making sure there was a shiny new penny displayed on top. It was one of only a few memories I had of him. But one that always made me smile. Looking down at Alex’s shoes, I was thankful for the distinct difference, as I longed for a life I’d never truly been allowed to live. “Gwen?” he said quietly, almost reverently, and pulled me out of my thoughts. Lifting my eyes, I kept my head tilted downward. “Yes, Master?” I whispered, almost choking on the word. He grinned, most likely satisfied to see I was still being compliant. “Good. You may go shower, but only ten minutes. After that, come directly back to the living room. I’ll be waiting.” He stepped to the side, allowing the door to fully open, and me to walk past him.

I was taken aback, bewildered by his actions. He’d never once allowed me to walk through the house without escorting me. Was this a test? A trick I’d somehow fail before knowing the rules? With nervous, tentative motions, I took a step, bringing me beside him, but my feet faltered. “I can go alone to the bathroom?” I asked, keeping my eyes lowered. “Master,” I added quickly, making sure he heard my efforts. He chuckled, the evil sound grating against my nerves. “Don’t worry, I will be watching. As you’re fully aware, there are no locks on that door and no windows to escape from. But since you did as I asked, I think it’s time to begin...” he trailed off as the phone in his hand began to ring. His words made me wonder what more he might reveal, but my curiosity wasn’t enough to make me wait. Refusing to respond and ruin any headway I’d made, I hurried past him, around the corner, and into the bathroom. Quickly shutting the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. I knew I was limited on time and took a few deep breaths, slowly exhaling as my body relaxed. I hadn’t been allowed out of that room, for any reason, alone. Even my bathroom necessities were supervised. Never mind how embarrassing it was, he was there no matter what. Watching. Waiting. Controlling. Now I had ten complete minutes to myself. Nobody touching me inappropriately as I tried to wash.

Nobody directing my body to move or bend so he could enjoy his perverse visualizations. Nobody. I hurried to the shower, turning the knob, and made sure the water was warm. I didn’t want to waste a single moment. Jumping inside, I pulled the stained glass doors closed and stood under the falling water. It felt amazing. For just a few minutes I was able to forget everything around me, where I was and what had happened. I was me again. Feeling my cheeks pull tightly, I reached up, completely in awe to find a genuine smile form on its own. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled. It felt invigorating. I knew I could do this. Whatever game it was that he wanted to play, I was ready. Between the brief hope that Nick had given me, and the small gift Alex had just bestowed, I had a renewed purpose. I would get out of here alive!

Two weeks later Discipline. Misleading trust. Complete compliance and unearned reverence. I’d learned how to fake many things during the past six months, and even more during the last fourteen days. I’d even learned how to forget who I was and be who Alex wanted me to be, sometimes getting so lost in his game that I wanted what he wanted. It hadn’t been easy. He was a wicked and sick person. But with each day, I was given just a shred of trust. I’d build on that until the moment was right, and I’d kill him. Nothing, not even time, would change that. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I looked past the long vertical crack that zig zagged upward and took in my appearance for the first time since I’d arrived. Any other time I was in this

room, I purposely avoided my reflection. The bedrooms only held a single bed each, a dresser, and one had an old wooden trunk. So, it was easy to forget what I looked like. Until now. Staring back at me were the same blue eyes, long blonde hair, and bright rosy lips. But there was no life behind them at all. He had stolen everything from me and filled me with a vulnerability and hatred I’d never experienced before. Oh, no, he hadn’t had sex with me. Of course not. He’d made it very clear that being a virgin was the biggest prize he’d ever acquired, and he wouldn’t take that from me no matter how difficult it was on him. It almost made him sound caring. But the endless amounts of verbal and physical things I’d endured otherwise made it perfectly clear he had no intentions of being a gentleman. Reaching up, I softly touched my lips, sliding my fingers across the moist flesh while remembering yesterday’s lesson. I had been waiting for hours, sitting on my knees, my skin cold and trembling. The bedroom had gone from a golden hue in the setting sun to complete blackness. I had retreated into my mind, remembering my dreams of building a life in New York and all the places I’d planned to see when I felt the lightest of touches suddenly glide up my spine. It started at the top of my butt, traversed along my spine, and up to my neck. Surprise and confusion overcame me, causing

me to cry out before I could stop myself. I’d been so lost in thought, I hadn’t heard him approach. My response was perfectly normal, yet completely unacceptable in this world. I knew from previous lessons that my outburst would only play into whatever disgusting games he had planned. And he hadn’t made me wait long to confirm my intuition. “Uh, uh, uh. And you were doing so good, too.” He stood behind me, scolding my actions as his hands reached around me and appeared before my face with an object I’d never seen before. He smelled of sweat and alcohol, something I’d grown accustomed to, but had to continually fight against becoming sick from. “Open wide, Gwen. It’s time you learned when to be quiet and when not to.” I was enraged, wanting to fight back immediately. I’d waited for hours, not saying a word, not making a sound when my body cramped and begged to move. He knew this. He purposely set me up so I’d fail. And he wanted to teach me whatever this was while blaming me the entire time. I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell, remembering at the last second that, that’s exactly what he wanted. I hadn’t talked back at all during the past two weeks. I’d done everything he’d asked with only slight hesitations. But this was too much. I’d found my limit. Unfortunately, before I could get more than the first syllable out, he shoved a rubber ball-shaped object into my mouth, quickly

tying it in place behind my head. It tasted bitter like he’d cleaned it in alcohol or dipped it in peroxide. The shape was so large, I had to unhinge my jaw to make it even slightly comfortable. If you could use that word for such a thing. I growled in anger, my eyes tearing up at the humility and anger I felt. Reaching up to remove the damned thing, he snatched my arm, grabbed the other, and pulled them roughly behind my back. Shaking my head no, I whined behind the gag, pleading with him to stop. He had only tied me up once a few days before, and I’d passed out almost immediately. It seemed I had a phobia I’d never known about before. That time I’d woken to find myself back in the locked closet with a bottle of water and a granola bar left beside me. I knew without a doubt that passing out again would only lead him to lashing out in anger. He was sadistic and twisted, but at least when he was in control of himself, he didn’t scare me as much anymore. That was the hard part for me to accept. The things he’d do to me during his ‘lessons’ had flooded my body with shame, but also an intense pleasure I’d never experienced before. I’d actually started craving it during the last few evenings. Something I was both sickened by and curious about. Maybe the stories I’d heard about Stockholm Syndrome were true, and I was experiencing them. I had no idea. What I did know

was frightening, to say the least. I knew I was changing. I looked forward to his visits now. The long, drawn out hours of being alone were torture. Some days I longed for him to open the closet door and simply say hello. Other days I found myself touching my breasts and sensitive nub, trying to mimic how he’d expertly break through my fears and bring me over the edge. If that meant I was experiencing the Syndrome, so be it. I’d almost failed my psychology class in college and refused to take any others, choosing other electives to fill my schedule instead. Now, I wish I’d taken every one of the mind studying courses. I had no clue how to fight against it. I only knew I was finding newfound pleasures as I struggled to survive day after day. Tying me up did absolutely nothing for me in the form of pleasure. In fact, it had the opposite effect. It triggered something inside that was far beyond terrifying. My body revolted instantly, shaking from head to toe, almost convulsing in utter fear. Feeling him pulling my arms tighter and completing the process of securing them, my tears were rapidly falling down my cheeks as I fought against the spasms racking every nerve I had. “Stand up,” he barked, clearly not happy with my response. I tried doing as he said. Attempting to pull my legs out from their kneeling position and push myself up, but I’d been like that for so long, my

muscles protested and fought against the change. With the sudden onset of fear, I felt almost paralyzed. Unable to use my hands for support or balance, I began falling forward, almost hitting my head against the floor. Just before contact, I felt his calloused hand grab beneath my arms and pull me upward, assisting me to do as he had demanded. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down. Standing seemed to help a little. I felt like I had a semblance of control again, but it didn’t completely eliminate the anxiety coursing through my body. Releasing my arms, he took a few steps around my trembling body, coming to a stop in front of me. Lifting my eyes, I watched as he looked down at me. He seemed at a loss, perplexed with my response after I’d done so well recently. His mouth puckered outward and to the side, the universal sign for thinking or contemplation. I felt another tear slide loose, its cold path gliding down my cheek. I knew he’d only grow angrier, but I couldn’t stop it. I could just barely see the browns of his eyes deepen and anger filling them from the inside out. But, for the first time, I noticed he was trying to restrain himself. That was something new, something I hoped would be in my favor. Fearing I’d make myself sick and get choked on my vomit behind the gag, I pleaded with my eyes, silently begging him to untie me.

“Gwendolyn,” he spoke softly, in a tone I’d never heard from him before. It sounded strangely compassionate. “I understand this is hard for you. I’ve actually never dealt with something like this with any of my girls. But I’m going to help you get through this. Okay?” He asked my permission? Oh, I wasn’t stupid. I knew it wasn’t actually a question for me to answer and agree or disagree. But I was so surprised by his words and tone that I momentarily forgot my fears and felt my body relax. In my tortured and suffering mind, it felt as though he’d given me a caring hug. On the heels of that thought came a brief desire shooting through my core. “There. See? You can do this.” His eyes lightened, almost glistened in the spray of light cascading across the room. “Now, let’s see,” he mused out loud, more to himself than me. “I think we’ll go downstairs and watch TV. Whadaya say?” He grinned, then chuckled. “That’s right.” He smiled again and tapped my nose with his forefinger. “You can’t say anything, can you?” Before I could nod or growl or form any response, he stepped to my side and slid his arm through the V-shape that mine made and led me to the door. I was completely bewildered by his actions. I knew undoubtedly never to trust him, yet for the briefest time I saw what kind of man he could be if only he’d made better choices in his life

or had a better upbringing. It didn’t help that my body seemed to have tuned itself to his actions, unexpectedly wanting what he could provide. Unable to sort any of the emotions and thoughts raging inside, I did as he said and followed his lead. Guiding me down the stairs, we walked in silence to the living room. He was practically bouncing, proud of whatever he’d planned to help me overcome my fears. I, on the other hand, wasn’t reassured. Only the thought of watching television after endless months of doing nothing was distracting my thoughts and urging my feet forward. Maybe I was bouncing a little myself? How odd. Helping me to sit on the sofa, I ignored the way his hands lingered as they slid over my breasts and the tingle it created deep inside. I’d long ago grown accustomed to his touches, stares, and disgusting ways—usually ignoring the unfathomable ways he’d take from my body. But the unexplainable desire I’d recently began feeling in response was more than I could comprehend. It made me both angry and excited, further reinforcing my ideas about falling under some type of psychological syndrome. Pushing aside my useless thoughts, I wiggled around, trying to ignore my bindings while I adjust my naked bottom against the scratchy texture. The couch had to be at least twenty years old. The wool, or whatever it was made of, was threadbare

in some spots and completely tattered in others. Some of the cushions held indents that never lost their shape, even when you weren’t sitting on them. It was only the third time I’d been allowed to sit on the old brown contraption, but I couldn’t have been more grateful. It was far more glorious than sitting on the hardwood floor or kneeling on the bedroom carpet. Leaning back, I adjusted my hands and their bindings one last time and rested my head against the tall cushions. Breathing out a small sigh, I felt my muscles unwind. Other than the strain in my shoulders, I was somewhat comfortable. “Good,” he praised before quickly walking into the kitchen. I began looking around, trying to memorize every piece of furniture, every possible exit I could find. I was relieved to see that everything had remained the same from the last time I’d been in there. Other than a few articles of clothing that Alex had thrown to the floor, it didn’t look any different. Consistency was good when you had hours to plan an escape every day. The sofa I was sitting on was positioned along the outside wall of the house, blocking a window that was covered with an old, smoke-stained shade and burgundy and green plaid curtains. Across from the couch sat a wooden entertainment center. It held an older box style television with a newer VCR/DVD combo that

sat on top of the TV. Endless cases of movies in both VHS and DVD formats were packed haphazardly on the half dozen shelves and spilled out onto the floor beside the unit as well. In the corner of the room was an old rocking chair that reminded me of my grandmother. The memories of her rocking me in her arms stole my breath and brought tears to my eyes. She’d been the only loving parental figure in my life. The only one I could count on until she’d died. I was nineyears-old and was just learning that something was wrong with my family when she passed away in her sleep. She was the rock that I’d leaned on, the love that I’d needed when nobody else was around to give it. Pushing the melancholy thoughts aside, I ignored my heartache and continued looking around. My jaw was beginning to ache, the pain from being held open for so long almost unbearable, but I knew I didn’t have many opportunities like this. Glancing across the room, my eyes were drawn to the dining room. It connected with the living room where I now sat, but there were no dividing walls or doorways to signify the difference. A large chandelier and an abrupt change in flooring were the only clues. Old shag carpeting lined the floor in the dining room while this room held the same hardwood flooring as the rest of the house. Making note of the missing

table and chairs that would normally be present, I caught sight of four tall windows, two on each of the outer walls. They were covered with the same smoke-stained shades, but instead of plaid was oldfashioned green and lace curtains that billowed in spider web covered poofs along the top and sides. Refusing to get caught up in the tacky décor that permeated the house, I wondered what kind of locks those windows had and if they were as old as all the rest I’d seen. From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see much else and returned my gaze to the room before me. I was surprised to realize that I was still tied and gagged, but not panicking. Maybe Alex actually did know what he was doing. Maybe he could help me overcome this fear. No! I was giving that asshole way too much credit lately. A few nice words, a seemingly kind gesture, and I was ready to be his best friend. Well, not really, but I gave myself a quick mental shake and reminded myself not to fall into his trap. He was evil. End. Of. Story. Reinforcing my thoughts, he came back into the room carrying a DVD, a bottle of water, and another glass filled with amber liquid. “This,” he held up the water and motioned to me, “is for you for later. This, of course, is for me.” He smiled again, taking a long drink of his beverage. “And this,” he sat the bottled water down and held the DVD up for me to see the name, “is what we’re

going to watch tonight.” Was he drunk? He didn’t seem drunk even though I could smell alcohol oozing off his body and clothing. But what did I know? I watched in fascination, trying to figure out the puzzle, as he took the movie out and put it in the DVD player. He eagerly turned the television on and increased the volume. Stepping backward as he watched to make sure the movie started correctly, he continued until his legs met with the edge of the couch, then sat down, his body sliding in beside mine. Yes, he reeked of alcohol, but due to the lack of slurring and the steadiness he maintained on his feet, I knew he wasn’t drunk. I briefly wondered if that was something I could encourage and take advantage of in the future, or maybe even tonight. Just as I began contemplating the possibilities, the movie began. He’d chosen E.T. Something that seemed completely out of character, yet absolutely appropriate for the man I’d grown to know. Still, it made me wonder about him again. Why did he do this? What made him chose this type of life? Even if I felt brave enough to, it wasn’t like I could ask with this humungous rubber ball in my mouth. But he’d shown me another side to him lately. Especially with a movie like this when there were endless numbers of action and thriller movies flashing their colorful cases in front of us. He had a child-like wonder about him at times, something

most grown men never showed, completely in contrast to the cruel and evil being he could be at other times. “Ah, yes, now this is the best way to spend a Friday night.” He leaned his head back, his arm reaching over while sliding his dirty, calloused hand along my inner thigh. Any thoughts of his goodness ceased, replaced with the vile, repugnant disgust I had for him. The minute his palm connected with my leg, I froze; the muscles that had been relaxed only minutes before were contracting to their previously tense state. Maybe this was his idea of fun, but it definitely wasn’t mine. I wanted to tell him as much, but couldn’t with the gag in place. Remembering it and the bindings that tied my wrists, I started breathing heavier, unable to stop the surge of panic that washed over me. I just wished he’d remove his hand and let me enjoy my delusional fantasies of feeling relaxed again. “Oh, no you don’t.” He turned his body, his hand dislodging from my leg and moving to my chin. “You were doing so well. We’re going to take this slow, but we are going to do this.” He turned my head, staring intently into my eyes, making it clear he meant every word. “Take deep breaths, Gwen. If you do what I ask, I give my word that I’ll help you every step of the way. For today. After that, it’s up to you. But you must learn to deal with

this. It’s expected on so many levels I can’t even explain.” I felt torn. My mind was fighting against the restraints, overwhelmed by their power to restrict and make me helpless. But the smallest part of me felt gratitude that he wasn’t hitting, whipping, or punishing me in any way. In the back of my mind I heard the warnings that I was losing myself, changing into what he wanted, but I couldn’t stop the transformation. In some ways, I craved it. If it meant he would continue treating me better, I’d change into whatever was necessary. Nodding, I agreed to what he said. I felt another piece inside breaking, another part of my soul fragmenting with my acceptance. Fighting against tears that would only provoke the animal in him, I returned my focus to the television and began watching one of the movies my grandmother had loved and shared with me as a child. Thirty minutes later, he stood abruptly and hurried into the other room. Moments later he reappeared, carrying two wooden chairs with him. With precise positioning, he carefully placed them in front of me. I could still see the television through the slats, but I had no idea what he was doing. Unfortunately, he quickly eliminated my curiosity. Bending my knees upward, he extended my legs, and harshly pulled them apart. With vigorous and determined actions, he bustled about,

securing plastic zip ties around my ankles and to the outermost bars. My feet easily slid between the posts and hung through to the other side. It was very uncomfortable and immeasurably humiliating. But nothing compared to the continual downward spiral I plummeted toward, his repeatedly demeaning actions tearing me apart from the inside out. I had become nothing more than a toy, a pet to train. As if his previous stunts weren’t enough, my body was splayed open, on display, while he continued to psychologically rape my mind. I’d like to say I fought back, thrashed and refused to do what he wanted. But in truth, I sat there watching the entire scene as if it weren’t me who was involved, detaching from reality in order to survive. With a glance at his eyes, I was surprised to find they were the normal shade of chocolate brown. Remembering his gentle tone and knowing I’d have to deal with this regardless, I chose to keep the kind Master instead of provoking the evil one. With great effort, I forced myself to focus on the movie, ignored what he was doing as I watched Drew Barrymore through the slots in the chair. “Very good, Gwen.” He squeezed my leg affectionately as he sat back down, softly massaging my thigh as his attention returned to the movie. “If you overcome this, I’ll take the gag out pretty soon.”

That’s all he had to say. I could feel saliva dribbling down my chin every so often, and my cheeks and jaw ached like a bulldozer had hit them. I’d do whatever I had to so he’d remove it. Refusing to allow my emotions and fears to overwhelm me, I focused on the loving family in the movie and blocked out everything else…even the hand that moved higher and gradually became more and more aggressive. Yes, he’d done as he said he would. He removed the gag and praised me for doing so well. He even helped me drink the water, gently tipping the bottle repeatedly since my hands remained locked behind my back. But his kindness ended there. While the movie played on, he urgently began shifting me into different positions, his own excitement evident as he roughly spread my legs further and coached me on how to imagine I was elsewhere while allowing my body to still be present. All this while he touched and fondled me in horrific, yet pleasing ways. My body was crying out for more, for him to stop, for him to help me finish. I had no control, no choice in how I responded. I both hated and needed him now. He had me on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump off and soar with the intensity that only a freefall could provide. I loathed wanting something so incredibly intimate with someone so dirty and evil. I despised my body for responding to him like it did. But more

than anything, I just wanted relief. Even if that meant he had to use his hands and mouth to do so. When the movie finished, he cut the ties off my ankles and rubbed the soreness away. He untied my hands with a gentleness I hadn’t expected and repeated the same administrations, creating another burst of longing followed quickly with a frenzy of anger I had to disguise. To make it worse, I couldn’t stop saying thank you. Each time the words fell from my lips, my outrage grew, disappointed that he’d been able to turn the tables and make me feel like I owed him something. Just when I thought the evening had finished and I could put another miserable day behind me, he instructed me to lie down with my head on the armrest of the sofa. I shouldn’t have been surprised when he demanded I open my mouth, allowing him to slide his hardened length deep inside. He’d done this frequently during the past two weeks after feeling confident that I’d do as he said and avoid the urge to hurt him in any way. But this time was different. Increasing the pace, he leaned over my body, his hands and mouth feverishly doing things to my core that I wished he’d never do, yet begged him never to stop. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I’d never experienced any type of sexual pleasure like what he provided. I despised him for it—for forcing it on me, for taking what wasn’t his to take. And I hated myself even more. My traitorous body

yearned for more, moaning and begging without abandon, regardless of how many times he helped me find the bliss that was hidden over the edge he eagerly helped me soar from. Looking in the mirror at myself, I came back to the present day, forcing an end to the thoughts of where my lips had been and how he’d turbulently overtaken my body. I despised him. But even so, I couldn’t stop the excitement and wetness from forming between my legs. The memories of how his mouth had brought forth such a violent and pleasurable storm from deep within were beyond comprehension. I was no longer the innocent girl he’d plucked from the beach half a year ago. Not only did I know how my body worked and responded now, I knew how a man’s body reacted and liked to be pleased. These were things I thought I’d share with someone I loved one day. Not some monster who had stolen and manipulated them from me. I hated him so damn much! Knowing he was waiting, I needed to hurry up. He’d given me fifteen minutes to shower and brush my hair. I’d spent almost half of that time reminiscing about what had happened yesterday. Now, as I walked into the kitchen, my body naked as was his normal demand, I was surprised to find two plates of food sitting at the table. After eating whatever he deemed I had earned each day, alone in the closet, and often in fear, I couldn’t believe he

was allowing me to eat beside him. “Come.” He waved his hand over, directing me toward the table. I did as he said, cautiously putting one foot in front of the other. I felt uneasy nervousness growing in my gut and knew there must be more to this than what met the eye. I didn’t have long to wait to find out. He quickly pointed to the floor when I was within arm’s reach of him. “Down.” He nodded his head, directing me to kneel beside him. I was beyond debating his commands. After learning how much easier it was to obey and not rebel, I had started doing as he said without complaint. Lowering my body, I bent my knees and did as I was told. The hard, cold tile was painful, but the hand that immediately came into view, holding a piece of pineapple between the forefingers, was a luxury I hadn’t expected to experience again. The uncomfortable floor couldn’t compete with such tasteful goodness exploding across my taste buds. He fed me my entire meal that way. No conversation. No forks or spoons. His fingers placing bite after bite inside my mouth, and often lingering along the wetness that remained on my lips. It had been a very long time since my stomach had felt full. Upon completion, my eyelids began to

droop, my body wanting nothing more than sleep. Unfortunately, I knew he would once again want to continue his ‘lessons.’ With a deep sigh, I spoke for the first time, “Thank you, Master.” Lowering my head, I waited for him to reply. When he didn’t I wondered what I had done wrong or if I had eaten too much. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything and remained quiet and still until he’d directed me to do differently. Such was the way of my life, panic and fear my constant companion. I kept my eyes downcast and head tilted toward the floor as I listened to him chew and finish his meal. When I heard his chair scrape backward against the floor, I waited to see which master would be joining me for the night. Without warning, he grabbed my upper arm forcefully, yanking me upward, my feet struggling to stand. “Bedroom, now,” he growled, pushing me in the direction I needed to go. Although he was nowhere near as cruel as he once had been, I knew I needed to do as he said to avoid provoking him further. Whatever he wanted for the night, I would fulfill his desires.

It had been over two weeks since I’d seen her. I’d thrown away my ticket to freedom, given up the chance to escape this lifestyle, and postponed my dream of living in peace. Although it fucking sucked, I would’ve done anything if it meant I could help her. I couldn’t explain why she mattered so much, enough to sacrifice all I’d worked so hard for. It didn’t even make sense to me. But something about her, something about the innocence that radiated in her eyes, had me willing to do anything and everything I could to help free her. As it was, after two weeks of preparing a monetary bribe and the most convincing appeal I could create, I finally had Boss’ permission to go ahead. Turns out, he wasn’t concerned about the money. He dealt in blood and sweat, picking and choosing the most lucrative transactions that would

benefit nobody but himself. With the opportunity to continue using my assassination skills, he was more than willing to work out a deal. He’d get another two gigs from me. They didn’t have time constraints and were subject to his choosing, including the ability to change orders on a whim. In other words, I was his bitch and he still owned me. He could order me to track down any perp, get within striking range, and then call it off. Only to have his men finish the job while forcing me to start anew with a different perp. It was a shitty arrangement with little hope of freedom in sight. But in return, the girl would be mine. The one requisite that he’d required was anonymity. He washed his hands of the entire situation. If anyone found out, he’d deny he knew anything about it, and leave me to face the fallout without anyone to back me up. It was Boss’ way of avoiding the appearance of looking weak and preventing others from trying to bargain with him as well. Power being his utmost concern, he couldn’t afford to show anything less than absolute control if he wanted to maintain his hold over the crew. I didn’t get to make the rules, I was only required to play the game. It was a far better deal for him than it was for me, but I knew it was the only way to ensure the chance at freeing the girl. Grudgingly, I agreed, making a pact to handle it as he’d required. The biggest challenge I faced was locating a

smokescreen, someone who would appear to be purchasing the girl directly from Alex instead of during the auction the following week. Considering I avoided these people as much as possible, I had to start from scratch. I spent every waking hour calling in favor after favor from friends and acquaintances to help me locate what I was looking for. I needed to find a sleazy, low-life predator who had plenty of disposable money and little to no security. Once I got that far, I’d have to convince him that this one specific girl was what he’d always longed for, urging him to rush the deal in order to avoid the auction, and complete the purchase in the privacy of Alex’s own home. It was enough to make any buyer hesitant. But thankfully I’d long ago mastered the technique of selling oceanfront property to fools who believed such a thing existed in the middle of the desert. Finally, after all this was set into motion, it would be up to me to kidnap her from the buyer and keep her for myself. It was ridiculous actually. I didn’t know why I couldn’t just pay the cash and put an end to all of this bullshit. But Boss had refused, stating his reputation was on the line. Aware that there would be no other alternatives, I continued working leads day and night, praying I’d get it all set up before it was too late.

I actually had clothing on tonight. Or what some may consider clothing. It was a black leather one-piece body suit, conforming to every curve and shape of my body. Everything except for my breasts and crotch, that is. Those areas were lacking any material, purposely created to be open and display my most private areas. I should’ve been appalled as I slid it on. Instead, I found it exhilarating to have any type of fabric covering the majority of my body. It was sad how far I had deteriorated. But if this was how life was to be, I would embrace any small progress I made, regardless of how insignificant or ridiculous. I had been instructed that tonight would be the first time I’d meet a person who may or may not play a part in my future. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I knew from the little pieces of

information that Alex said or things I’d overheard that he was training me for sexual service. I had gone along willingly, thinking I would have escaped or killed him by now. Unfortunately, the opportunity had never materialized, and I was now in the position of facing a possible new Master. I knew I’d have to perform to Alex’s liking, or face his wrath, or possibly some stranger’s wrath instead. The only thing that could get me through was hoping I’d have better luck escaping with someone else watching over me. I valiantly tried not to consider the possibility that this new monster could be any worse than Alex already had been. It would do no good to worry about the unknown. I had to be strong, bravely step out on faith, knowing that one day I would find a way to escape regardless of where I was or who I was with. Feeling a sharp current surge between my legs, I remembered Alex’s instructions a short time before. I’d just completed my shower and the very specific list that he had given me, including where to shave, not to apply any lotion afterward, and to forego any perfume other than what he’d set out for me to use. After dressing in the leather outfit, I’d hurried to the bedroom, and laid on the bed, silently waiting for his arrival. The immense number of butterflies that seemed to take up residence in my gut was overwhelming. I had a sickening fear combined with intense sexual energy,

creating a surge of adrenaline that raced through my veins. I loathed the man, yet every day the desire to speak to someone, be near someone, grew exponentially. Staring at the stained ceiling tiles above me, I’d eagerly found a distraction by counting the squares. The game was helpful in easing my nerves, but the relief was far too shortlived. Before I reached fifty, he’d entered the room, a menacing smile spread across his face. “These are similar to the ones we used the other day.” He’d held up a couple of wires with tiny little clamps dangling from the ends. “But this time, you’ll be wearing them for a specific purpose.” He raised his eyebrows, asking if I understood. I had no clue what he meant, except that it was sexual in nature. He’d used some type of clamp on me a few days before. It had been a lesson on intensity and controlling my desires to match my master’s. Unsure if I should guess an answer or allow him to ‘enlighten’ me, I apprehensively held my breath and waited for him to explain. “Simply put, you’ll be both rewarded and punished with this device tonight. Do as I say, and you’ll receive nothing but pleasure. Don’t? Well, you really won’t want to experience how awful these can be.” He didn’t wait for a response, most likely knowing I wouldn’t give one. I’d long ago given up on voicing my opinion. I was now the obedient, pliant servant he wanted me to be.

After he’d finished the application, which was annoyingly uncomfortable at first, he pulled me up to stand and made sure the electrical box that attached to the wires was discreetly hidden in the clothing I wore. Once he was certain everything was in place, he’d pulled a tiny black remote from his pocket, quickly pressing a button to test the device. Chuckling at my response as I tightly clenched my legs together, he couldn’t refrain from enjoying my discomfort once again. That time he’d held the button longer, ensuring I was fully aware of what he could do with it at any given time throughout the night. By the time he slid the remote back into his pocket, I was barely able to stand without support. He’d quickly provided a few final rules and further instructions before telling me to take a minute to collect myself, and then meet him in the living room after pinning my hair up and out of my face. That had been nearly thirty minutes ago. I wanted to hide in my closet. Somewhere I knew what to expect and felt deceptively safe. Even though I longed for human interaction, the evening seemed far less appealing now. He’d once again reduced me to nothing more than a pet, something to perform as expected. I wanted to weep at my foolhardiness—the idea that maybe there was a grain of goodness somewhere inside him. I knew better than that. He was pure evil. Yet, I found

myself repeating the same reaction every time he showed his true colors. Refusing to get caught up in my emotions, I adjusted the device Alex had attached between my legs and made sure my hair and clothing were in place. Just before I reached the door, a shot of electricity surged throughout my core. This time the painful pleasure was far stronger than the last two combined. It must’ve been his way of telling me to hurry up. If I thought he’d been sick and twisted before, this was a hundred times worse. Bending at the waist, I couldn’t help the panting that escaped when the pain morphed into intense desire. The tiny clamps that were attached to my ‘nub’ as he called it, were not only used to control me, but, I assumed, to ensure that I’d be desperately in need and ready for him after the night was over. I’d never heard of such things and wondered what type of people created items like this? Or maybe I was the odd one after all, and the world was drunk with desires that were beyond my understanding. Fighting the temptation to rip the things off, I straightened my back and held my head high, refusing to allow him the victory over me. With quick, sure steps, I put on a brave face, made my way down the hall, and proudly entered the living room where Alex was waiting. He’d changed clothes and was now dressed in a black three-piece suit. It screamed luxury and clashed horrendously

with the dirty, old house. But I couldn’t deny how much it changed his appearance. I’d never seen him clean shaven or dressed in anything other than jeans. For a moment, I was almost willing to bet that he was an entirely different person, until he slid his eyes over me, possessively appraising my body from top to bottom. It was a quick reminder of who and what he truly was. There was nothing good or handsome about him. There never would be.

Beneath the seductive leather outfit, she looked so small and fragile. She seemed to have adapted more than the last time I’d seen her which made me more on edge than I already was. I fucking hated considering what she’d gone through to make it this far. On the bright side, if there could be one in this situation, it looked like Alex had been taking better care of her. Her ribs were no longer protruding, and she also didn’t have any bruises that were noticeable. That fact was highlighted when she walked into the living room and found me sitting on the far side of the room, her cheeks instantly changing from a pale white to a satin red. She’d seemed so in control of herself until her feet had faltered at the sight of me. I wanted to reassure her in some way, offer her some type of encouragement, but I knew better than to reveal my

desires to either of the other men who were present. Thankfully, after her initial shock of finding me there, she’d quickly regained her composure, keeping her eyes downward and appropriately following the asshole’s every command. During the past couple of weeks, I’d tried to find a way inside the house multiple times only to learn that the security cameras and audio were all tied into Boss’ personal system back at the office. Knowing that he had men who worked security on all his properties, I was certain they’d be fully aware of any actions I took. We never would’ve made it fifteen feet. The only way to make this happen was to see the night through and follow the plan to a T. I’d finally found an interested buyer who was willing to give Boss double what he could make from her at auction. The gullible fat fuck was already here, his greedy eyes devouring her every move. My biggest worry was that the extra time being here may have caused more physical wounds. But as I looked at her now, her body kneeling between the interested buyer and Alex, I knew she was far more wounded mentally and emotionally. I had no idea how to help her, but I made a silent vow to myself to do whatever it would take. “Little Bird?” Alex smiled sickeningly as he addressed her. We’d made it through a small dinner that Alex had insisted upon. He seemed to think

that he needed to woo the customer in order to seal the deal—as if that were possible in this run down piece of shit house. I was surprised he hadn’t brought in a few servants to completely play the part he was trying to portray, but beyond grateful he’d kept it at ordering a catered meal and dressing like an ass. When he showed off his progress with training her, feeding her by hand as she waited beside him on the floor, I knew my control was slipping. Now, with drinks in hand, we sat around a new coffee table Alex had brought in, finishing a discussion about stocks as if this were a completely normal, everyday occurrence. The desire to beat the shit out of him and dress him in the submissive outfit before delivering him to the boys in the alley downtown was becoming an overwhelming soundtrack in my mind. I wanted to show him who the true slave was in this room. I wanted to demonstrate what real control was all about. But when he uttered his next sentence, shocking both myself and the buyer with the sudden change in subject, I knew there would come a day when I made those thoughts a reality. “Be a good girl and lay on the coffee table for us.” I heard the hint of a threat lacing his request. I’d expected some type of display as all goods must be proven before sold, but even for Alex this was more than I’d planned for. Still, I couldn’t say that I was surprised. She, on the other hand, was

completely taken aback by his demand. Her body flinched, her eyes growing wide as she apprehensively glanced at each of us in the room. Connecting her gaze with mine last, her eyes lingered a moment too long before looking at Alex once again. I only hoped they were too stupid to notice such a thing. “M-Master?” she asked, her eyes pleading with him to change his mind. Damn, how I wish I could end this for her once and for all! But I had to do it as planned, regardless of how painful and degrading it was for her. If not, neither one of us would leave this house alive. Alex refused to answer her. Instead, he reached beside him on the sofa where I’d noticed a small remote control lay. A wicked gleam grew across his face as she bent over and grabbed her knees, gasping as if in pain. The bastard was not only subjecting her to humiliation, he must’ve had some type of device in or on her that he could control. Furthermore, the easy-going guy who had led the evening thus far had disappeared. In his place was an insane man with deep-seeded anger that looked to be on the brink of releasing any control he was maintaining. I suddenly feared what might happen if she refused to obey his command. I didn’t know how far I could interfere and maintain what Boss had planned with me. I only hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Releasing the button, she sagged in front of Alex, her head almost lying on her knees. “Now!” His voice thundered, making it clear he wouldn’t accept any more hesitation on her part. To her credit, she lifted her head and straightened her back, an iron strong perseverance in the face of evil. She didn’t answer, and he didn’t speak. They shared a knowing look; his a very powerful warning that silently spoke volumes, hers one of defeat. With steady, slow actions, she did as he said, climbing up on the table as he stood and hurried to the other room. Returning only moments later, my stomach plummeted, realizing what was next. Nobody deserved to be treated like this. Nobody. Least of all, her. Clenching my fists at my sides, I repeatedly took deep breaths, praying for the discipline to see this through.

“Knees up!” Alex demanded, grabbing my legs before I could willingly comply and pushing them upward. He completely disregarded the shaking he felt when he touched me, ignoring how horrifying this truly was as he roughly positioned my body. I’d done as he asked and climbed onto the wooden coffee table, lying flat on my back for the entire room to inspect my most private areas. The leather suit I wore made it difficult to shift or slide further back, but inch by inch I finally made it so that my entire length rested on top of the wood. It didn’t matter if there were only three men there. There might as well have been a hundred. The shame and degradation didn’t decrease due to the number present. Angling a lamp he’d just brought in, he

positioned it at the base of the table, directly between my legs. With a click, the room was aglow, the beastly shadows of two men growing across the ceiling before me as Alex made certain my innocence was completely visible for all to see. I thought I would be sick. I heard him demanding I open wider. I heard the stranger chuckle when I barely moved. But when the stranger came closer, reaching over and pressing his slimy palms to my inner thighs, I was certain my churning stomach wouldn’t be able to handle much more. I might as well have worn nothing; the searing shame burned through the flimsy barrier and directly into my soul. Realizing I was either unable or unwilling to follow his directions, Alex growled and forcefully pushed my legs apart, fighting against my body’s will for modesty, and stretching me open under the heat of the lamp. It was only a matter of time before I shattered before them. I felt betrayed by Alex, disappointed in my inability to block out their disgusting advances, and completely helpless as I tried to contain my rebellious response among wave after wave of nauseous anger. Whatever gains I’d made by being obedient would soon be meaningless. I tried to remind myself of the goal, the desire to leave this place and find somewhere easier to complete my plans. I fought to ignore their fingers as they disregarded my discomfort and poked and

prodded. But more than anything, I strained to block out the sounds of their shared words of delight and humor. My body continued to tremble uncontrollably, the table itself echoing against my shaking. Desperately searching to find a way to escape, I glanced sideways and found something remarkably beautiful among the filth and decay that surrounded me. He took my breath away. Nick’s eyes were mesmerizing, emerald green with specks of gold. His intense focus, his body drawn tight like a wild animal about to attack its prey, was in complete contrast to the compassion, sorrow, and tenderness that washed over me from one simple look. With my body bared for all to see, Nick remained in his seat, refusing to take part in what the others were doing. Instead, he seemed to be suffering just as much as I was. Falling deeper into his gaze, he captured my fears and pain, wordlessly offering to carry the burden for me. I knew I could make it through this as long as I continued to look at him. He calmed me without a word. He strengthened me without moving a muscle. “As you see, she’s been completely untouched,” Alex boasted proudly. “And watch this.” Forcing myself to maintain eye contact with Nick, I knew exactly what Alex was about to do. My previous assumptions had been all wrong. My

shame would be complete. The last piece of humility torn from my soul as I performed as my body had been taught and teased to do. Feeling cold, callous fingers hold my folds apart, I felt and heard Alex blowing lightly as he removed the clamps. The action allowed blood to rush and fill the previously pressurized area, heightening my already sensitized nub beyond belief. Slamming my eyes closed, I fought to remove myself entirely from what was about to happen. I didn’t want Nick to see me respond so greedily to such dirty and perverse actions. I didn’t want to witness his response when he saw my body finding pleasure in such brutality. But I didn’t have a choice. Even with my eyes shut, I felt his powerful stare unwavering beside me. Where Alex had been somewhat gentle before, taking his time to work me up to climax, he was now rushed, urgently trying to prove everything he’d boasted about throughout the evening. His fingers aggressively flicked and pinched, alternating without pause. After wearing the device for hours, my response was unavoidable and instantaneous. My back arched, driving Alex on as he forced a cry from my lungs. Encouraged by my response, he continued his rapid assault, my release the only goal he had in mind. “Nick, come over and see this, man,” Alex called out, but he didn’t slow his actions. My body

trembled harshly, rocking back and forth, unable to fight against what was being done to me. I just wanted it to stop. I begged myself to do as I was told so I could return to the delusional safety of my tiny closet. But nothing helped. Alex continued his furious stroking, my mind refusing to let go as my body continually hit an invisible wall. There was no pleasure, nothing but endless pain and uncontrollable spasms that rocked my body. Gasping repeatedly, I opened my eyes and turned my head back toward Nick, surprised to see he remained in the same position. The only difference, his tight grip on the edge of the sofa and the sheen of sweat permeating his forehead. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, never see any of these people again. But something in his eyes captured my turbulent emotions, offering to carry my fears and lighten my burden. My body was fighting desperately against what was inevitable. I didn’t want to finish; I didn’t want Nick to witness such depravity, but I desperately needed to find an end to this torture. Just when I thought I couldn’t look at him any longer, afraid I’d never recover from the humiliation I felt in the presence of his beauty, I saw him mouth three simple words and lost all control. Look. At. Me. I cried out, my eyes completely focused on his, and allowed my body to perform as it had been

commanded to. The two sick men were feasting on my body, the stranger now actively involved in sampling what Alex had to offer. But Nick kept me focused; his compassion and obvious disregard for what the men were doing overwhelmed me, making me finish stronger than I ever had before. Grabbing the edges of the table, I felt ripple after ripple being torn from my core. The soaring freefall seemed to be never ending when the callous strokes of Alex’s fingers finally came to a stop. Trying to catch my breath, I felt a single tear slide free and closed my eyes. I needed to control myself before I caused a scene, before I did something to make Alex do more to my unwilling body. With stuttering, deep breaths, I fought to regain composure and focused on the strength I’d found in the man beside me. Opening my eyes again, I stared in fascination, completely forgetting about myself or the men that were now boasting about my body. There was far more than silent strength and compassion pouring from Nick to me. More than a man who simply wanted to help. What I saw reflected back at me; the wet unshed tears in Nick’s eyes told me more than any words ever could. He knew this pain. He knew it firsthand.

The flashbacks were something I couldn’t bear. I’d put my childhood behind me years ago. Successfully forgetting every cruel, fucked up thing my bastard father and his buddies had done to me. Until now. Yet, I couldn’t leave her until I knew she’d be okay. “So, you’re happy with the girl then?” Alex asked the man I’d invited to join us. “I think we have a deal, ‘Xander.” He laughed, his large belly shaking as he reached out with a pudgy hand to shake with Alex. “I’ll have the cash delivered tomorrow. I’d like her brought to my place this weekend. I need to get a few things ready first.” His sick, twisted smile matched the way Alex often looked at her. It made me want to stab both of them, cut their dicks off, and feed them to the

other. Fighting through the haze of anger, his words caught my attention. The weekend gave me three more days. Three days to find a way to get her safely away from this madness. “Sounds good.” Alex nodded, his greedy palm eagerly returning the man’s handshake. The entire time, the girl lay on the table. Her legs still bent and her pussy on full display. But her eyes, the beautiful soft aquamarine eyes that captivated me more every time I saw them, remained locked on mine. “Nick!” Alex turned and pulled my attention away from her. “What?” I demanded, unable to hold my contempt back any longer. “Dude, chill the fuck out, and go get Edwin another drink. Would ya?” Alex gave me a funny look, and I knew I had to get myself together before I gave something away. “Yeah, whatever.” I never had liked the fool. So, my attitude wouldn’t be a surprise. I was more worried that he’d catch me looking at her, silently trying to encourage and help her in some way. Pushing myself to stand, I felt her eyes follow me as I moved across the room to get the men more drinks. Why didn’t I just get rid of everyone here and run away with her? Why did I allow them to

treat her like breeding cattle? Throwing ice into a couple of tumblers, I briefly remembered the years of service I was forced into because of Boss and knew that would never happen. Grabbing the brandy, I filled both glasses grudgingly. I knew if she was ever to get away from here, it would only be through Boss’ permission. Otherwise, it didn’t matter how many miles we put between us and them, they’d hunt us down and do far worse to both of us. Angrily grabbing the drinks, I didn’t care that half of the amber liquid sloshed over the sides as I carried them back to the men. The only thing I was grateful for was the eyes that continued to follow me, watching my every move, and reminding me to stay in control of myself. “Here you go, Ed.” I sat the drink beside him and grabbed a napkin to wipe up the extra that had spilled. Extending the other drink toward Alex, I refused to show him any kindness and let the slippery glass almost fall from his grip. Knowing he was trying to impress the buyer, I felt fairly certain he’d swallow his remarks and propose a toast to seal the deal. “To beautiful, exploding virgins!” Alex held his glass up, smiling from ear to ear. Edwin followed his lead, returning his sick and twisted smile and clanked his glass with the other. They were both

sick, demented fucks and deserved to be removed from this earth. I only hoped that I was the one to get to fulfill that sentence one day. Glancing back at the girl, I was relieved to see that her eyes had closed, and she’d finally escaped the evil madness surrounding her. I only hoped she had a beautiful beach or happy home to hide away at in her mind. She deserved both and so much more.

The next two days went by remarkably fast. Alex was in such a good mood, I no longer recognized him. It was clear I’d be leaving tomorrow and he’d be making a substantial amount of money off my sale, but there was more than just that. I’d overheard him speaking on the phone with someone. He was surprised by some type of job promotion, followed by endless words of reassurance as he quickly agreed to join a crew and do all he could to help. Ever since then, he’d left me alone other than to deliver a couple meals each day and allow me to use the bathroom. I had a few fleeting thoughts of escape before I was handed over to my new owner, but I no longer cared. After witnessing the depth of compassion in Nick’s eyes, and knowing I’d never have that feeling between me and another person, I simply didn’t care

anymore. It may sound stupid, I know. You’d think the beatings, rapes, and mental abuse that I’d endured would’ve been what broke me. But it wasn’t. It was seeing the beauty of a good heart and knowing I’d never know what it was like to be loved by one that finally shattered me entirely. Curled up in the corner of my closet, I closed my eyes and imagined my family once again. I had no doubt that they’d long ago given up on finding me. Between my mother, father, and brother, I didn’t know who the worst drug addict was. In fact, they were probably more upset that my disappearance would’ve brought the police to their doorstep rather than me actually being missing. Growing up, I’d been the one to cook, clean, make sure my little brother made it to school every day, make sure the money my grandmother had left actually paid the house payment, and the one who took care of the normal monthly bills as well. It wasn’t something a child should’ve been doing, but after my grandmother had passed away, it was either that or foster care. I’d decided the misery I knew was better than the unknown, and I did my best to hold things together for everyone. When I left for college at eighteen, my brother had just turned seventeen and had dropped out of high school, foregoing an education to get high and play video games every day instead. I never understood why he’d choose that lifestyle after watching our

parents’ slowly destroy their lives in front of us. But I’d learned long before not to stand in the way. Try to help someone once, twice maybe, but after a third time, you had to get away before they brought you down as well. And that’s exactly what I’d done. I’d escaped, overcome all the obstacles life had thrown at me, only to end up naked, in a closet, and being sold as a sex slave. Maybe drugs wouldn’t have been the worst thing after all. “Gwen?” Alex called out, quickly unlocking the door, and pulling the string to turn the light on. “Time to get up.” He jerked his head, urging me to follow him. Doing as I was told, I threw the ratty blanket to the side and pushed myself up. With a quick stretch, I remembered my nude body only momentarily before walking through the living room in search of the vile beast. It didn’t take long. I found him in the kitchen, a colorful array of clothing spread across the table in front of us. “I wasn’t sure what would fit you, so I grabbed one of each in three different sizes.” He glanced from my body to the clothing, silently confirming to himself that he’d done a good job. He certainly didn’t need me to agree and build his ego any further. Tentatively reaching for the first pair of jeans, I was shocked by the coarse feel against my fingers.

It had been so long since I’d worn any real clothes. Other than the brief touch of Alex’s clothing rubbing against my skin and the leather I’d worn a few nights ago, I’d had almost no contact with fabric. It’s funny the things we miss most when they’re taken away from us. Realizing I was being watched, I pushed all thoughts aside and grabbed the stack of clothes. “I’ll try them on in the bathroom if that’s okay?” I was shocked by my statement and tried my best to turn it into a question at the end. Thankfully, he was in such a good mood, he simply nodded his head and shooed me away. His focus was entirely on his phone and whatever he was texting someone else. Grateful for the distraction, I hurried away, eager to feel the cotton enveloping me once again.

Later that night, I’d been sent back to my closet after a quick meal in the kitchen with my master. My appetite was nonexistent after months of living off very little, but he insisted until I finished almost all of my food. It marked another momentous event between us. I’d been allowed to sit at the table, beside him, surprisingly with my own plate and utensils. He seemed too engrossed in text after text to do more than encourage me to eat my food. After finishing our food, I cleaned the stove and washed the dishes, unsure if I should

kneel beside him as I’d done for months or sit back at the table afterward. Thankfully, he made the decision when he started receiving more phone calls and absently waved me away, telling me to go to sleep. I was more than happy to oblige. I had no idea what the future would hold for me, and any time I could have to myself without a man pawing at my body was a luxury I wouldn’t pass up. With my stomach overly full, I quickly fell asleep in my closet, only to be woken up a couple hours later by a loud, persistent banging on the front door. I had no idea what the actual time was, but assumed it had to be near midnight. “Where is she?” a deep voice, sounding very much like Nick, growled as the front door slammed closed. “What the fuck!” Alex yelled, surprise evident in his voice. “She’s coming with me. Get her now.” “The hell she is. She’s being delivered tomorrow.” “I said...get her now!” I swore I could actually hear him growling the words between his teeth and imagined him standing over Alex, threatening him physically without saying another word. Not a sound was made. The only noise was the tick tock of the clock in the living room. What seemed like minutes passed before I heard

something crash, followed by a thunderous thud hitting the floor then the sound of loud footsteps quickly making their way into the living room. Moments later, the closet door was jerked open, the lock undoubtedly broken in the process. The light from the living room spilled inside, illuminating the tiny room, and momentarily blinding me from the brightness. “Good, you’re dressed.” Nick breathed a sigh of relief. Nick? It really was him. But why was he here? To take me already? Or maybe they’d decided to auction me off after all? Alex had warned me that, that’s what I was originally brought here for. Maybe whoever was in charge had changed their mind. Squinting up at him, I saw the compassion in his eyes once again and felt my heart breaking piece by piece. I’d never known love, except from my grandparents’. Anyone else had always used me for their gain in whatever way benefited them the most. To me, Nick’s presence was just a reminder of that fact. One I didn’t need when I’d resigned myself to survival and nothing more. “Listen.” Nick squatted down slowly, his actions careful and precise. “I’m going to take you out of here, away from all this fucked up shit. Okay?” I felt my eyes widen, but I didn’t trust my

voice to speak. He must’ve read the confusion and uncertainty in my eyes because his reply was one I’d never expected and would never forget. “You’re coming to my place, okay? Not for anything sexual. Nothing like that. You understand? You’re there for safety until we can work something out with my boss. Okay?” I had no idea what he meant, but his eyes—the tenderness, the understanding—poured into me and filled me with a strength I’d long forgotten. With a tentative nod, I agreed and saw my first smile from the muscular man in front of me. He was absolutely breathtaking. “Great, let’s get going before they change their mind.” Holding his hand out, he waited for me to contemplate putting mine in his. It was almost as if he understood and allowed me this moment of choosing, this miniscule decision to allow him to help me up. With fear churning inside, I took a deep breath and placed my hand in his. The sheer size of his palm wrapping around my small hand should’ve scared me. Instead, I felt protected for the first time since I was a child. Gently pulling me to stand, he let go and motioned for me to follow him. As we neared the front door, I saw what had caused the loud crash earlier. Alex was lying on the coffee table that had

once held my body up for inspection. It was now sitting at an angle, the legs broken and strewn to the side with his body following their lead. Although he was knocked out, his lip was bleeding and his chest continued to rise and fall. Unfortunately, his death hadn’t been complete. One day, I’d make sure that would happen. Jerking my head away from him, I hurried to catch up to Nick who was already opening the front door. I hesitated only a moment as the fresh air rushed over my face, inhaling the warm night breeze I’d missed for so many months. With a quick glance around us, I noticed everything was pitch black. No moon or stars, no streetlights— everything was bathed in darkness. Deciding I could enjoy the freedom to breathe later on, I hurried to keep up with Nick as he led me to a huge black truck that waited at the curb along the side of the road.

Pulling up to my small cabin that was built beside the river, I silently contemplated how this would play out. During the past hour drive, neither one of us spoke more than a few words, but I knew she had to be overflowing with questions by now. I just wasn’t sure how much I should tell her. For now, she was safe. That’s all that mattered to me. We’d have to take it one day at a time from here on out. When nightfall had come and I knew they’d be delivering her to that sick fuck tomorrow, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had decided, based on the fact that I knew Alex’s home and was completely ignorant about the buyer’s house, I no longer cared if someone saw the break in. Boss may want to avoid the altercation, but I was sacrificing my life to serve him. He could deal with a small

inconvenience. It had taken all of five minutes to enter Alex’s house, knock him out, and retrieve the girl. I hadn’t considered the idea that she might be too fearful to leave with me. Not until I’d stood in the doorway of the closet, watching her clutch the nasty old blanket to her chest in confusion. Thankfully, it hadn’t been an issue and she was out of harm’s way for now. Now, sitting in the dark with only the headlights illuminating her new home, I felt utterly helpless and overcome with guilt. I had no idea what beautiful home those men may have taken her from and could only imagine what a shack she must see this as. Furthermore, her real home, the one she most likely dreamed about every night when she slept, would never be seen again. I could keep her safe and out of sexual predators hands, but I couldn’t work miracles in this evil part of the world. Turning the ignition off, I turned to find her taking her seatbelt off extremely slow. Looking closer, the fear and trepidation was pouring off her in waves. Nice going asshat, not only do you show up in a firestorm and demand she comes with you, but you explain nothing and expect her to be obedient. Shaking my head at my stupidity, I reached out to help her with the unyielding seatbelt. She flinched the moment my hand came near her, reminding me how delicate a creature she was,

and how much more sensitive I needed to be. “Fuck. Sorry ‘bout that. Just wanted to help.” Her eyes flashed to mine, surprise overflowing into gratitude. That was something I couldn’t handle. I deserved none of her misplaced appreciation. A real man would’ve gone back for her weeks ago. Not bargained for what amounted to a half-life for her. “We’ll go inside and I’ll show you ‘round. Okay?” I hurried to open my door and rushed around to her side to open hers. A lame attempt at being a gentleman, but at least I tried. Allowing her plenty of space to get out on her own without feeling cornered in, I waited a few steps back until she closed the door. With silence once again filling the space between us, I led the way across the small wooden bridge that crossed a tiny creek and over the stone walkway someone had patiently installed many years before. Coming to a stop before the front door, I turned to find her only a step behind me and was curious why she hadn’t tried to run at the first chance. I was even more surprised that I was so caught up in my own head that I hadn’t considered that possibility until now. Realizing she was standing there barefoot, waiting to see what I’d do next, I turned and opened the door. I was completely out of my

element and had no clue how to handle the situation. The only thing I knew for sure was that she couldn’t leave here without me. Somehow, I had to convince her of the importance of that rule without appearing just as evil and controlling as Alex had.

I waited on the doorstep for him to turn a light on inside. I didn’t understand any of this. His demeanor was one of compassion and caring, but his body was stiff and on edge at all times. I wished, for the hundredth time, that I had the courage to ask the endless questions racing through my mind. But everything seemed too good to be true, and I wanted to enjoy the delusion a little while longer. As the lamp inside flicked on, the room was illuminated with warm, beautiful hues. Tentatively stepping inside, I was awed by the amount of decor decorating the walls. It must have been his hunting or fishing cabin. Stuffed fish, deer antlers, and endless wildlife pictures dotted every open space in the room.

“It’s not much, but it’s clean and has food,” he called out, hurrying to turn on every light throughout the house. “It’s your home now, too.” My home? Somehow, I doubted that very much. Sooner or later I would be put into my place, and the beautiful delusion would be shattered. “Hungry?” I turned from admiring the huge stone fireplace and found Nick holding a bag of chicken nuggets in one hand and frozen French fries in the other. I couldn’t hold back the chuckle that came out and instantly slapped a hand over my mouth. “Don’t do that.” He looked angry and quickly sat the bags on the small oak dining room table and hurried over to me. Stopping a few steps in front of me, he ducked down just enough so he could look me in the eye. Without thinking, I did as I was taught, lowering my eyes to the floor and putting my hands behind my back. “No,” he whispered agonizingly. “Please look at me?” he asked instead of demanding, catching me off guard once again. Slowly lifting my eyes, I feared what I might find. But instead of the fury I’d grown accustomed to, there was understanding and patience reflected back at me. “I’m sorry, M...uh, sir,” I whispered, stuttering over what to call him. With a deep sigh, he stood up and looked

around the room. It seemed like he was looking for the same answers I was, and I wondered if he knew how to find them. “Okay,” he announced suddenly. “I’m gonna go throw some food in the oven, and while it’s cooking we’ll discuss everything that’s happened. Sound fair?” I nodded, afraid my voice or words would fail me once again. “I mean, I’m not a chef or anything, but I make some mean cheesy fries.” He smiled and winked at me before hurrying into the kitchen to do as he’d said. I found myself quietly chuckling to myself and the reaction felt foreign inside. Lifting my hand to my stomach, I repeated the action a few more times, just to feel my muscles contract and expand in response. The smile it brought to my face was the first truly happy smile I’d had in over half a year. “By the way…” Nick peeked around the corner, catching me smiling to myself. The slow grin that overtook his face was like watching the sun rise over the lake in the morning. The tiny spark slowly building, creating a prism of alluring colors and emotions until it was at its full strength and took your breath away. No man should be that beautiful. I was speechless. “My name’s Nick.” He nodded once and removed his body from the

doorframe before I could respond. Pleased that I actually knew something before he’d told me, I finally allowed myself to relax some and decided to look around this place he’d referred to as my new home. Not knowing exactly what that meant, or if this would be an improvement or decline in my previous residence, I knew I needed to take in every inch that I could for future reference.

I was delaying the inevitable. I knew it, and I was certain she did as well. But how did you tell someone you rescued them only to confine them all over again? I didn’t have the answer to that; instead, I insisted she take a bath or shower, whatever she liked. When she looked like a deer trapped in headlights, I realized she must have suffered more unthinkable abuses where bathrooms were concerned. My initial response to hit something was quickly overcome when I saw the fear grow exponentially in her eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t able to hide my anger and disgust as much as I’d thought. After convincing her I wasn’t upset with her, I showed her how to use both locks in the bathroom. One was in the doorknob and one was a little higher with a small latch. I’d grabbed a couple towels from

the hallway closet and sat them on the sink, showed her where the shampoo and soap was, and removed myself from the room as quickly as possible. Her look of wonder, followed quickly by the brightest smile I’d ever seen, almost brought me to my knees. But when she uttered the words, “Thank you,” and meant them with every ounce of her being, I knew I’d never be the same again. I was an evil bastard, a murderer for hire, a law unto myself. Yet, she was thanking me. I turned and hurried away before she saw just how weak her words made me. While listening to the sound of water running echoing through the quiet cabin, I’d taken up residence on the leather sofa in front of the fireplace and waited patiently for her to come out. It had been over half an hour, but I wasn’t afraid that she’d escape. All the windows on the ground floor had bars on them to keep wildlife or any wandering hikers out, but would also keep her in. No, that wasn’t my concern. I feared she might slip and fall, hit her head, or even drown. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I had to check to be sure. As soon as I knocked on the door, she opened it a crack and peered up at me. Her huge eyes were filled with an innocence that had seen far too much. “I was just checkin’ to see if you were all right...” “I didn’t know how you wanted me dressed...”

We both spoke at the same time, making it difficult to understand one another, but not so much that I missed her unasked question. The talk could wait no more. Whatever happened afterward, whatever she thought of me, I’d accept. I didn’t want her living in fear another minute. “You can put the same clothes on or I have some shorts and a T-shirt if you’d prefer,” I offered, hoping she’d smile again and light my world on fire. She didn’t. But she did look truly surprised. “I’d like that,” she replied softly, her voice slightly trembling with each word. Damn, how I’d like to go back and kill Alex, dissect him piece by piece after I make him suffer the way he’d done to her. That wasn’t an option now. I knew it. He knew it. And Boss definitely knew it by making him part of his official crew. But if the opportunity ever came to do so, I wouldn’t hesitate. He wouldn’t be the first person that I truly enjoyed watching take their last agonizing breath. Hurrying to my room, I grabbed the clothing, choosing the smallest shorts I could find, and hurried back to her. The door was already closed, so I sat them on the floor and moved back to the living room. Once I was around the corner, I called out and told her where they were so she could retrieve them without me nearby. I’d never known myself to be so aware of

someone’s needs before. But something about her, something in me from long ago, brought out a side of me I’d never known existed. I would do anything I possibly could to help her get past what had happened to her. Even if that mean sacrificing myself in the process.

A lock on a door. A private bath. He had no idea what a gift he’d just given me. I wished there was some way I could repay him. But I had nothing, not even words that seemed sufficient to express my gratitude. Walking into the living room, I found him stretched out on the sofa, his arm flung over his eyes, and his mouth slightly open with the sound of light snoring rhythmically pouring out. I couldn’t blame him. I’d probably taken an entire hour enjoying my first taste of true privacy again. But I didn’t know if I should wake him or let him sleep. It had to be the middle of the night by now. He must’ve been exhausted. Coming to stand beside the sofa, I glanced around the room again, my eyes landing on the

front door. It seemed so easy to leave, escape, and find a way home again. Too easy. I had no idea where I was. No phone to call for help. Not even a pair of shoes to help me run away. Returning my gaze back to the man who now owned me, I was surprised to see him awake, his eyes knowing and watching me. “I...I wasn’t...I...thank you for the bath,” I stammered, unsure of what to say when I knew he was fully aware of my thoughts. “We should talk.” He stretched as he sat up, revealing rows of muscles tightly corded along his abdomen. Pulling my eyes upward, I found a welcoming grin instead of the condemnation I expected. “Here”—he patted the seat beside him, then moved back enough to give me space— “sit down.” Apprehensively, I did as he said. It was time for the delusion to come to an end. I was fine with that, though. I’d already enjoyed far more than I ever thought possible again. “So, here’s the deal. You may not like it, but it’s the best I can offer.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to acknowledge him. My heart was hammering, dread building until I felt sick to my stomach. “Okay,” I said softly, lowering my eyes to where my hands fidgeted nervously in my lap.

“I wish I could take you back to wherever you came from, but I can’t. Not only would my boss kill me for doing so, he’d hunt you down and eliminate you as well. I’m pretty sure mine would be fast. Yours? Not so much.” He paused and waited for me to look up at him. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I had learned to bite my tongue and be patient. “So, for now, this is our home. Technically, I paid off what that sick fuck was going to pay for you, plus some. But you don’t belong to me. You are your own person and one day, I’ll make sure you have your own life again. I just need you to be patient while I work things out. All right?” I didn’t belong to him? Yet, I did. I was free. Yet, I wasn’t. None of it made sense. “What am I expected to do?” I didn’t want to ask, but it would be much easier and less painful in the future if I found out now and did as I was told. “Well, you can do anything you want here. Just let me know and I’ll get whatever you need.” “No, I mean for you. What do you expect of me…as in, service?” “Oh, no!” He shook his head in denial. “Never. You aren’t here for that. You never have to do that again. If anyone ever tries to touch you again, just let me know. They won’t see another sunrise after I finish with them. You understand?” He was very stern, his words angry, but not

toward me. It was puzzling why he’d feel so strongly against it, but I knew better than to ask. I simply nodded, making note that this all seemed too good to be true still. “I usually work at night; the doors and windows are locked, so you’ll be safe here while I’m gone.” I knew what he meant. I’d be locked inside, safe from any chance of escape. With a deep sigh, I agreed, knowing my day would eventually come. “There’s not a lot to do here. We’re near the Okefenokee Wildlife Reserve, about an hour north of Jacksonville, along the Florida Georgia borderline. So, we’re pretty much surrounded by forest and swampland. Internet’s kinda spotty, but at least there’s electricity.” He softened his features as he continued. “Is there anything you’d like? We have a TV and DVD player, there’s a radio, but not much else.” I thought about that for a minute. It seemed almost like a tease, a test, but his eyes were filled with genuine concern. Maybe, possibly, he was truly a nice guy after all. “Some books?” I whispered, scared of what his reaction might be. “Books. Okay. What else?” When I didn’t say anything, he shrugged his shoulders and smiled radiantly. “Anything. Just name it.” “Some art supplies. You know, to draw with?”

I felt my entire body vibrating in fear, my brain scolding me for being so bold and greedy. But his smile never faded. He simply nodded in approval. “Done.” “Really?” “Well, on one condition.” There was a twinkle in his eye, one of childlike mischief combined with an intensity that intrigued me. “Well, two. Don’t try to run off on your own. If you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you. You have my word. But don’t risk taking off. They’ll only hunt you down and hurt you. And if you think what Alex put you through was hell, it’ll seem like heaven compared to what those fuckers would do.” It was a lot to take in. I could tell him I agreed, that wasn’t the problem. I’d lied plenty of times to ensure my safety during my life. No, it was the offer to take me places. As in, I wasn’t an actual prisoner or servant. Was that possible? “Okay. And what else?” I urged him along, feeling completely overwhelmed by everything. “Your name?” he asked softly, almost reverently. “Or any name you’d like me to call you.” Oh, this was too good to be true. People weren’t that nice to me. Not even before I was kidnapped. But what the hell, what did I have to lose? “Gwendolyn. Or Gwen.” I had assumed Alex

would have filled him in on anything like that, but he must have used those details only to taunt me with when we were alone. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Gwen.” Nick held his hand out between us, offering something I’d forgotten how to accept. “It’s just a hand shake, nothing else. I swear.” He smiled again, urging me to take a leap of faith and see if he was telling the truth. The moment I placed my hand in his, I remembered how he helped me out of that wretched house, away from that evil man, and so far, had been nothing but generous and kind to me. Tears like the Niagara Falls began showering my face, my chest hiccupping as I struggled to breathe. Glancing at Nick through the curtain of water coating my eyes, he was frozen, unsure of what to do with the crazy lady in front of him who had lost all control. I could tell he wanted to hug me or say something comforting, but he held himself back out of respect. Which made me cry even harder. “It’s...not...you,” I bellowed, burying my head in my hands. “I’m just so...thank you.” I felt his hand gently touch my back. He didn’t rub or try to pull me closer; he just rested his palm on me to let me know he understood. There was more power and meaning in that one simple gesture than a hundred hugs could’ve provided. After a few

deep, stuttering breaths, I was slowly able to control myself again. Lifting my head, he pulled his arm away and stood quickly. “I think I’ll let you have the bedroom. I’ll sleep on the couch for tonight.” Before I could respond, he hurried down the tiny hall and turned on the lights to the bedroom. Almost immediately, he was back and stood to the side. “You can lock the door if you’d like, too. But I’ll be here if you need anything.” Standing on shaky legs, I followed his lead and decided not to argue over where I slept for the night. I was too tired anyhow. But more than that, a full night of sleep, feeling safe and secure, was more than I ever could’ve asked of him. Before I closed the door, I turned to find him watching me. The sad look had returned to his eyes, but the minute I caught his attention, the caring and kindhearted man shone through again. “Thank you, Nick. Good night.” Before he could respond, I shut and locked the door. After testing it a few times to make sure it was truly locked, I slid the small nightstand in front of it to be certain and climbed into the bed.

Three Weeks Later Over the past few weeks, we had grown into a routine of sorts. Nick went to work around eight every night, often not returning until six or seven in the morning. I’d sleep in the bedroom at night and be up before he’d get home. After he showered and ate, he then would sleep in the same bedroom I had while I cleaned the house, read, or worked on my drawings. I was surprised he didn’t make me sleep in the bedroom in the loft upstairs. It may not have had a bed, but it would’ve been better than what I’d been used to. Instead, he selflessly shared everything with me. During the evenings, before he’d leave for work, we often walked outside along the river or just sat on the porch and enjoyed the sounds of nature. It all seemed very docile. Too good to be true. I didn’t trust it in the least.

After my first excursion with him to the nearest town, which took almost twenty minutes one way by car, I was thankful I hadn’t tried to escape that first night. I would’ve been lost and eaten by wildlife if nobody else had found me first. The cabin wasn’t too far out in the country, but enough that it would take a few hours to jog and get anywhere. That is if I could find my way. The forests were extremely dense with only a few roads that intersected them between the cabin and the town. During my second excursion, we’d eaten at Big Mick’s Drive-In, a fast food burger joint where they brought the food out to our truck and placed it on trays that attached to the windows. I was amazed that places like that actually existed out of the movies. Not to mention that the food was some of the best I’d ever eaten. Yesterday, my third trip out of the house, we’d gone down to the road to a larger lake and spent a few hours fishing from his small boat. I should say he did the fishing and I enjoyed the setting sun with a pencil and paper in hand, but I like to think I had something to do with the seven fish he caught. We didn’t have long drawn out discussions. We didn’t have the heart to heart talks that some might expect. We were both content just to be together. More often than I could count, I’d consider what I’d do if I could escape and run away. Every time I came to the same conclusion. Run where? Find my

drug addicted family that may or may not still be in the same roach-infested trailer? Go get a job and live in a homeless shelter where Nick’s boss could easily find me at any time? Or try to survive off fish and squirrel up in the mountains somewhere? Even when the door was wide open, I felt trapped to some degree. But the fear I’d once felt was slowly beginning to fade away. In its place was a peaceful contentment I was growing to accept. I continually waited for the bomb to go off and everything to blow up and change. But so far, things had been exactly as he’d said; my days filled with calm and quiet in a home I was growing to love as my own. Everything was calm, except for Nick. Every morning during the past two weeks, he came home angry at the world, spewing every cuss word he knew. From the moment he jumped out of his truck until he entered the house, I could hear his grumbling and upset words from deep inside the house. Even so, the minute he’d walk in, he reigned in his anger and offered me a genuine smile as he quickly took a shower and went to bed. It wasn’t until he woke around one in the afternoon that his emotions had faded and been replaced with a tenderhearted kindness I’d never known before. I often wanted to ask him about it. I wondered how he’d grown into the man he was, and what could cause such a brutal change in demeanor every day. But I’d learned long ago to mind my own business.

If we didn’t talk much when he was in a good mood, I could only assume that he had no desire to speak to me when he was upset. “Hey there!” Nick called out as he came into the kitchen. I was in the middle of drawing the trees along the riverbank from what I could see through the kitchen window and must’ve jumped a foot in surprise. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.” He smiled, grabbing a few grapes from the fruit bowl on the table and tossing them into his mouth. “You’re so engrossed in your work there.” He spoke with his mouth full, trying to weasel his way around the table to see what I had drawn. “Oh no. It’s my only rule. No looking until it’s completely finished.” I quickly covered it with a towel and went over to the refrigerator to retrieve the sandwich and potato salad I’d made earlier for him. “Hungry?” “Famished.” He took the sandwich off the plate and started devouring it before realizing there was more I had made. “Mmmm, this is so good,” he mumbled around the bread and meat. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds since you arrived.” His eyes were alive with mischief, making me wonder what was coming next. We may not have known each other very well, but I knew enough

about him to tell when he was about to do something funny or announce something ridiculous. “Today, I’m going to teach you some selfdefense,” he declared, finally taking a seat and grabbing the plate filled with potato salad. “Self-defense?” I questioned, surprised by his revelation and fully aware of my lack of coordination. “Definitely.” He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask. I liked that about us. Short and sweet and to the point. “Okay then.” I grabbed the second sandwich that had been waiting in the fridge and placed it on his plate. “Should I change clothes for this?” The only self-defense classes I’d ever seen were at the YMCA when my grandma would take me and my brother swimming when we were little. It looked more like karate than anything else, but Granny said it was a defense class so it was all I had to go on. Looking down at the long Boho skirt that almost reached the floor, I doubted it would be suitable for anything remotely similar. “Some shorts or sweats will be fine. Did you get any of those when we went shopping?” “Yeah, I’ll go grab a pair and change.” I wanted to laugh at his serious tone. He knew darn well that we had every single type of clothing I could possibly need. After eating at the drive-in,

he’d taken me shopping for clothes, insisting I buy every outfit he held up, plus another fifty he didn’t. I was so amazed by his generosity, I hadn’t considered an escape the entire time we were out. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed that night, fully clothed in my new pajamas, that I realized I could’ve notified the cashier or left a note of some sort in the fitting room. That was when I put honest thought into where I was and how things had changed. Other than the lack of fulfilling my dream career, I felt safe and cared for, for the first time in my life. If this was what being a prisoner was like, I didn't mind it so much after all.

“Grab ahold of my shoulders and lift your knee like you’re going to kick me.” “I can’t. What if I hurt you?” “Really? That’s what you're worried about?” He chuckled. “Just trust me, I won’t let you finish the kick, no matter how bad you want to.” He winked, playfully keeping the mood light to encourage me. With a deep breath, I did as he said and accomplished step one. He then spent the next fifteen minutes demonstrating and having me practice the most lethal ways to kick someone who was being a threat. I knew he was trying to progress to more difficult maneuvers as he’d forewarned me,

but he took his time and made certain I mastered each one before moving on. “Good. Now, I want you to learn how to get out of a headlock. It seems easy enough, but in the heat of the moment, it can mean life or death.” His serious tone was void of humor this time, catching me off guard and making me pay close attention. Knowing I’d be in the same position that had started my nightmare in Daytona was enough to seize control and threatened to overcome me. “I’m going to step up to you from behind, wrap one arm around your shoulders, then pull you tightly against my chest. Next, my arm will loop around your neck, and I’ll talk you through how to get out of it.” Fear and panic shattered my resolve, any logic overrun by flashbacks of my previous abduction. I became paralyzed. Unable to rely on any rational thought. His words ignited a firestorm, twisting and building my anxiety to unbearable heights. “Gwen, I don’t want that to happen to you again. I want you to be able to fight and get away if there’s ever another time like that. I won’t hold you too tightly. Okay?” He gave me a few minutes to work it through on my own. His patience and understanding was astounding. I knew what he was saying was true. I knew this huge, muscular man who had enough power to take down an entire football team,

wouldn’t hurt me in any way. But it took an extreme amount of focus to work through the fears and facts until my nerves were calm enough to continue.

What was that saying about good intentions? Yeah, I seriously screwed myself over on this one. My reasoning may have been good, but this was fucking torture! Day after day I was growing insanely attracted to her, even though I knew I’d never act on it. Now, my hair-brained idea to place her body flush against mine proved I had no brain whatsoever. Thankfully, when getting ready earlier, I’d put on a sports cup for protection, and the majority of my arousal would be hidden. I hadn’t told her that's why I wasn’t worried about her kicking me, but it had been my original intention. Now, I couldn’t have been more grateful for the uncomfortable piece of equipment shoved down my trousers. She was nervously chewing her nail, her eyes focused on the floor. I knew from watching her

during the past few weeks that she’d slowly work her way through her fears, but it still gutted me any time I felt like she was afraid of me. After witnessing the change in her breathing slowly return to normal again, and her body gradually relaxing from its sudden tense state, I knew she was ready to continue. She just needed a little nudge to jump back in. “Gwen?” “Hmm?” she mumbled around the digit I was profoundly jealous of. Clearing my throat, I focused on her safety and protecting her. That’s the only thing that mattered; definitely not my boyish fascination with getting laid. “Eyes up here.” I snapped my fingers softly, catching her attention and reminding her who was in front of her. “Good. Now, I want you to turn your body around so your back is facing me, but keep your eyes open. Okay?” With a soft nod and eyes as big as a deer, she did as I instructed, dropping her hands to her side and step-by-step moving into the position I’d directed her to. “I’m stepping up behind you now. Keep your eyes on my arm as it wraps around you.” I did my best to keep my motions slow and precise, afraid this would be too much and she’d bolt at any minute. “You’re doing great,” I whispered over her

shoulder as one of my arms wrapped around her waist and the other gradually locked around her throat. Her chest began rising and falling rapidly, her hot breath escaping and blowing across my skin, shooting goose bumps throughout my body. “Now, if you ever find yourself in this position, I want you to calm yourself first. Take a deep breath and focus on your escape instead of your demise. Duck your chin toward your chest, turn your neck if necessary, and then bite.” She nodded her head but didn't move a muscle. “Now, Gwen! Do just as I said and get free,” I urged her on, but still nothing. Closing my eyes, I prayed that what I was about to do wouldn’t push her over the edge, and forcefully tightened my hold on her against my body. With my arm firmly pressing against her airway, the idea that she’d ever be taken again raged against my emotions. With more volume than I’d intended, I raised my voice and demanded she get free. “Fight, damn it! Get free, Gwen!”

Tears pricked the edges of my eyes, but I refused to be a victim ever again. With a deep breath, I focused on what he’d told me to do, ducking my chin inside his arm. When I felt his body tense and his arm tighten even more, my eyes closed and my desire to survive kicked in. With a ferociousness I didn’t know I possessed, a deep growl tore from my chest as I opened my mouth as much as I could in the confined area. Without a thought of what I was doing, my teeth sank deep, latching onto him, and tearing his skin. Almost immediately, his arm loosened just enough that I could duck further and twist away. With quick motions, I released my bite and pushed his arm away while I spun in front of him. Before I could stop myself, my knee lifted and completed the kick he’d previously been working on with me. This

time, with no hesitation and all the power I could muster. “Ugh!” Nick fell forward, landing hard on his knees. “Oh my God, I’m sorry,” I gasped, finally aware of how much I’d been lost in the moment. “Uh-uh, I’m good,” he groaned, his head tucked and forehead against the floor. “You’re bleeding!” His arm was dripping profusely against the wooden floor, long lines of red already staining his forearm. “It’s... nothing,” he moaned, but I could see otherwise. Shaking my head at how stupid I could be, I hurried into the kitchen and retrieved a towel from the drawer, quickly getting it wet before returning to him. By the time I returned, Nick was sitting on the couch with his legs stretched before him, his head back against the cushions, and his eyes closed in pain. His arm, still bleeding where my puncture marks remained, hung limply by his side. “I’m so sorry, Nick.” I rushed around the sofa and sat beside him, grabbing his arm, and placing it in my lap. Without thinking about what I was doing, I began cleaning the wound I had inflicted, wiping away all the remnants of blood. I’d taken care of my parents’ and brother’s injuries so many times during my life, this was

practically routine. Blood didn’t faze me. Wounds didn’t disgust me. I had cleaned up more vomit than I’d ever care to admit. But something about knowing I had hurt the man who had saved me made me nervous and scared. Scrubbing the small amount of blood that had dried in the crook of his arm, I quickly became lost in thought. This may have been a small incident, but what if he became angry with me? Would he hurt me, too? What if he grew tired of me and told me it was time to leave? Where would I go? I had started to feel comfortable here during the past few weeks. Safe even. But the truth of it all was that he owed me nothing and surely he would grow tired of the savior routine eventually. “Hey.” Nick’s whisper pulled my attention back to the man sitting beside me, making me realize I’d stopped cleaning his arm and was now holding it tightly as if he were a lifeline. “Everything’s fine. You're just a bit more aggressive than I expected. I wasn’t ready for that.” He chuckled, his smile lighting up his face even though I knew he must still be in pain. I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I just... I dunno... it just happened.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to run far, far away. I felt horrible and scared and so alone. “Gwen?” Before I realized what he was doing, Nick wrapped his arms around me and pulled me

into his chest, my head lying sideways over his heart. “Never apologize.” I felt my tears slowly escaping and slammed my eyes closed. His hand was gently rubbing circles across my back, removing any and all my fears as I quickly became lost in the motion. It felt so good to be cocooned against his strong body and safely inside his protective arms. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever been offered such genuine affection without being expected to give something in return. “And definitely don’t worry about a little bite. I’m happy to see you won’t need dental care any time soon.” He chuckled, the sound reverberating through his chest and into my ear, easing the last few emotions that remained. “So, tiger, back on your feet, this time you’re going to put me in the headlock.” I heard the humor in his voice and breathed a sigh of relief. My fears about the future could wait until later to worry over. Right now, I’d do whatever he wanted to ensure I didn’t lose the safety and peacefulness I felt in his arms.

Two hours later, we were both drenched in sweat, my body worn out from all the self-defense tactics he’d shown me. Grabbing a bottle of water for both of us, I took them outside to the small deck that wrapped around the back of the cabin where

we had moved to once the house had become too hot. “Here you go.” I handed him the water and sat beside him on the step. The sound of the wind lightly blowing through the trees, the birds calling from one to another, and the tinkling water in the creek that ran along the property were the solace I’d come to love here. Closing my eyes, I felt my body relax as I became lost in the symphony. “What’re you thinking about?” Nick’s voice surprised me and broke the spell the birds were weaving. Shocked that I could become lost in thought so easily around him, I shook my head in confusion. “Not much. Just how nice it is here.” I glanced sideways, wondering what he thought about this place. “It's become my favorite place, too.” He smirked, his ever present boyish charm escaping without his knowledge. “You mean you have other places like this?” “I have a couple houses, nothing fancy.” “Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to make of that. What did he use the others for? Where were they? “But to be honest, this is the first time any of them have felt like a home.” He pulled my thoughts away from my wayward fears and filled me with more questions I’d never have the courage to ask.

“It’s really nice,” I offered, unsure of what to say. “No, Gwen. You make it feel like a home.”

Her eyes flared, her breath catching and pushing her breasts up high. God, she was gorgeous. And I was the biggest prick to be eyeing her like a piece of meat. I just couldn’t help myself. Especially after how we’d worked out for the past couple hours. She had completely overcome her fear with me, her body and mind connecting and following every direction I gave. After I let her complete the maneuvers on me first, she breezed through the practice with me pretending to attack or restrain her. Now, as we both sat side by side, I felt the strangest feeling. One I hadn’t had since my mother had died when I was five. Home. I felt like I was home. Unfortunately, I could tell from her response that she thought I was insane. She continued to

stare at me as if I’d grown two heads or announced I was running for president. Hell, I had surprised myself with my announcement, but once it was out, I couldn’t take it back. Just as I was about to say something funny to change the subject, her lips slowly turned upward, gradually revealing the most beautiful and radiant smile I’d ever seen. I was screwed. “So, want to do something tonight since I’m not working? We could go grab something to eat or drive down to Jacksonville and go to the art supply store if you want?” I rushed my words, trying to distract my raging hormones and suddenly sappy heart from the beauty before me. “Sure. Whatever you’d like.” She continued to smile, her voice reminding me of angel’s wings fluttering in the breeze. “Okay then.” I jumped up, astounded by my train of thought. Women had served one purpose for me over the years. One and one only. I sure as hell wasn’t going to get caught up in a woman who I couldn’t have, even if I refused to admit that I already was. “I’m gonna go take a quick shower then you can grab one after me. Sound good?” She was still smiling, her cheeks pink as she looked up at me. “Yep.” She nodded, the motion making her body rock slightly before me. Before I did something I’d really regret, or she

might for that matter, I hurried inside to drown myself in the coldest shower I’d ever taken.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to just sit back and enjoy life. All of my life had been spent taking care of everyone else. Even during college, when I should’ve been out living it up, I was shouldered with the burdens of my family. Being with Nick was unlike anything I’d ever known. I didn’t have to take care of anyone except myself. As foreign as it was, it felt exhilarating. Nick was in the process of building a fire along the riverbank where we’d been fishing for the past two hours. It had been a quick ride down the road from the cabin, a few minutes that led us to an open area where the river widened significantly and according to Nick, the fish seemed to enjoy just as much as him. The sun had begun to set, but night hadn’t fully reached us yet. It was absolutely beautiful out, and I kept getting distracted by the

palette of colors that continued to change and highlight the sky and the amazing man beside me. My job was to watch the fishing poles in case we had a bite, but with the sky in the background and the way he moved about, completely in charge and sure of himself, fascinated me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Everything he did seemed so smooth and in control like he had the world in the palm of his hand. Even the way he blew on the logs, stoking the fire, seemed like a magician who'd long ago lost the need to practice his art. Just as I was about to tell him good job, I caught the sudden jerk of a pole across from me and jumped up. Hurrying around the logs we’d set up as chairs, I jumped over a few large rocks and was about to grab the pole when my foot pulled me backward. Unbeknownst to me, my feet had tangled in someone's discarded fishing line. Without warning, I went face first, my body landing with a loud smack on the damp ground. The breath had been knocked out of me, and my hands were embedded with tiny pebbles, but I refused to disappoint Nick. Scurrying along on my belly, I quickly traversed the sand and rocky shore and grabbed the now bobbing fishing pole. I could hear Nick’s humor behind me, his rolling laughter filling the air, but my focus was solely on the pole in my hand and the line straining in the water. I knew I should stand up to get better

footing, but I was afraid I’d lose the pole if I tried. Whatever was attached on the other end wasn’t small. It was pulling with an equal amount of power as I was. With my elbows firmly braced against the uncomfortable stones, I reeled with all my might, yanking the line back as I’d watched Nick do many times before. It would be my first fish. The first time I ever caught anything. The thought spurred me on, injecting adrenaline into my actions. Another yank and the fish leaped from the water, its fins spraying water everywhere. “Holy shit!” Nick cried out, the sound of his footsteps rushing to grab the net beside me. “Hold it steady. I’ll get it. I don't want the line to break.” I had no idea what he was saying. I just wanted the damn fish to stop fighting against me and give up. Suddenly, the scaly beast pulled harder than I expected, my reel protesting and line whining as it pulled outward instead of in. “He’s getting away!” I called out, hoping Nick would hurry up. “Just hold it steady, you’re doing fine.” Bull crap. I was not doing fine. Any minute this fish would take the hook, line, and pole with him and swim off to his silent death in the deep blue. Refusing to accept that outcome, I yanked one final time, ripping the line over my head and the fish into the air. With the grace of a ballerina, Nick reached the net over the water’s edge, timing

and judging the distance perfectly without getting his feet wet. A second later, a large flopping fish was jumping around in the net and Nick was grinning from ear to ear. “Congratulations! You just got yourself a carp! At least ten pounds, I’d say!” “Didn’t you say those aren't any good to eat?” “Sure did.” “Ugh.” I had been so excited about capturing something huge and valuable, and it turns out it is a dirty, useless fish after all. “He sure is pretty, though.” Nick was in the process of unhooking the beast as I pushed myself to stand. “Pretty useless,” I grumbled, brushing the dirt and pebbles off my body. “Yeah, but great practice for you. You did really good bringing him in.” His praise was an instant aphrodisiac. All thought of the fish disappeared, and for the first time, I looked at Nick in awe and wonder. I’d stared at him, studied him, and watched him for hours on end. But until now, I hadn’t truly seen him. With his arms flexing as he fought the fish for the hook, and his body bracing his stance, the sheer power and beauty of him registered deep within. A soaring heat flowed through me, coursing through every vein I had. Never before had I felt such

strong attraction. The realization that I could think that or feel sexually attracted to someone after what I’d been through was just as much of a shock. I wasn’t sure what to do with it either. “I’m gonna go tend the fire while you finish with floppy there.” I turned to leave but didn’t get far. “Wait,” Nick called out. “You have to let him go. It’s your fish.” He was smiling at me, no doubt enjoying the look of confusion on my face. “Hurry before he gets away..” “Um, okay.” I hesitated but gradually made my way over to him. I had no idea what he meant, but by all means, I wouldn’t tell the man no. “What do I do?” “Here, I’ll help you. Just hold on with me.” I had no choice but to stand next to him, the length of our bodies brushing against the other. Funny how I had been wrapped in his arms and tangled between his legs earlier in the day during our training session but hadn’t felt the same electric rush through my body. Now, it felt like a tuning fork, every nerve ending vibrating anxiously beside him. “Okay, ready?” He turned his head, bringing our faces within inches of each other’s. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. I felt the slimy scales wiggle in my hands, I knew I needed to

step forward to the water's edge, but I was frozen. “On the count of three.” I nodded my head in agreement and bit my lip apprehensively.

Holy hell. I wanted her something fierce. Her large, innocent eyes shining in the setting sun, her body wrapped around mine; she was the flame, and I was the moth. The way she was looking at me made me want to throw every good intention I had out the window and slam her to the ground right here and now. Watching her bite her lip nervously, I briefly wondered if she felt anything similar, or was worried over touching her first fish, when my thoughts made me realize what I was about to do. She could never handle sex with me. Not the way I needed it to be. And I would never put her through anything similar to what Alex had done to her again. No, she deserved someone sweet and doting, a romantic vanilla that would love her the way she deserved.

“Three, two...” I turned away from her, forcing my thoughts back to the task at hand. “One!” Pulling my arms back, her body followed my lead, and at once we both stepped forward and swung the fish out toward the water. A loud splash sounded in front of us and before I knew it, Gwen was hopping up and down with excitement. “That was awesome! We saved its life! Like, it can go back home now and have babies and a happy life with its family.” She was smiling bigger than I’d ever seen her do before, but her words struck a chord. The small amount of goodness that remained in my blackened heart broke all over again. She would never be going back to her home. At least, not any time soon. “Gwen?” “Hmm?” she asked, still bouncing up and down as she glanced out at the blackened water. “Uh, nothing. Let’s just go make some s’mores.” I grabbed the net and the empty pole and took it with us to the fire. I wished I were man enough to apologize to her, make her understand why it had to be this way for her safety, but I wasn't. Maybe I wasn’t much better than Alex was after all.

“Did I do something wrong?” Gwen’s quiet,

hesitant voice pulled my attention away from the crackling fire. “Huh?” I was confused, wondering why she’d think that in the first place and surprised that she’d ask since she never really questioned anything I did. “Well, for the past half hour all you’ve done is stir the fire with that stick, lift the flaming red tip in the air to put it out, and then stir some more. I thought maybe I had done something to upset you.” She wasn’t looking at me, her face fully concentrating on the flames dancing before us. But it was obvious in the way she gripped her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth that it had taken her a lot of courage to ask such a simple question. Or maybe she was truly afraid of me. “Gwen,” I sighed, throwing the stick into the fire and moving to sit beside her. “There’s just some things bugging me, but nothing that you did could ever be wrong.” I gently wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her against me. It was a side hug. One you gave somebody at work or church, definitely not the kind I wished I could give her. “Oh,” she said softly, gradually allowing her body to relax and lean against mine, her head lying softly on my shoulder. We both breathed a long sigh and stared ahead,

lost in thought as the fire raged on. We stayed like that, motionless other than our chests rising and falling, for a long time. When I finally realized how much time had passed, I was strangely surprised that it had felt so comfortable, so natural. I’d never been able to tolerate being next to a woman for long unless it was for the purpose of getting one of us off. There was never any snuggling or cuddling and absolutely no dating of any kind. Glancing down at the tiny female still wrapped under my arm, the scent of vanilla wafted up at the same moment she twisted her neck and angled her head to look up at me. The combination was like a punch to the gut. Her doe-like eyes, long lashes, and innocence radiated in the glowing light that flashed across her face. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted any woman. The sheer power from the intensity I craved her with was beyond my control. When I saw her tentatively lick her lips, I knew I had to turn away, remove my body from the vicinity before I did something that we’d both regret. But I didn’t. Being the bastard that I am, I became intoxicated watching her. Her chest began rising quicker, her eyes darted from mine to my lips, silently conveying her own desires and wishes. The hand she’d rested on my thigh earlier began tightening its hold, slowly increasing until I had the twisted pleasure of knowing I’d be bruised the next

morning. But as I watched her in excruciatingly slow motion, her mouth slowly coming toward mine, I lost all train of thought and surrendered to the battle waging inside. I was certain I lacked any gentle qualities. My body raged for me to pull her on top of me and roll us over so she’d be pinned beneath me. And when her lips finally made contact with mine, their tentative touch so soft and hesitant, I was unable to hold back any longer. With a moan I couldn’t suppress, I did exactly what I’d longed for, wrapping my arms around her as I began feasting on her beautiful lips. She tasted like peach Schnapps, and her scent was the most erotic thing I’d ever smelled—a spicy vanilla with a twist of floral. Deepening our exploration of each other, I was ravenous for more. Her lips were soft and full, molding perfectly around my own, as I wordlessly demanded her to yield before me. Without hesitation, she followed my lead, greedily taking from me what I was from her. Yet, it wasn’t enough. Nothing except her body, naked and beneath mine, would ever satisfy me again. With far more force than I intended, I lifted her up and brought her over my body. Her legs willingly straddled my hips, her chest pressed against mine, and for the first time in my life, I feared for a woman to be with me. Her core, now rhythmically kneading against my hardness, her soft

mewing as she continued to kiss without abandon, would’ve brought any man to their knees. I wished I could be that man. But what I needed had nothing to do with that type of sex and everything to do with control. “Gwen,” I breathed out, trying in vain to stop our mouths from devouring each other. My entire body was tense, shaking with a need so great I feared I may have already gone too far to stop. When I felt her hands snake down my chest and her fingers tease the edge of my shirt, I knew it was now or never. If not, I’d ruin this beautiful woman for all time. “Stop!” I picked her up and sat her to the side, quickly removing myself from her and jumping up to stand. The action brought tremendous pain between my legs and a stabbing sorrow in my chest I didn’t understand, but I couldn’t do what she needed me to. That much I was certain of. Glancing up at the stars, I cursed and kicked the sand into the fire. Little embers rained down all around us, showering us, and bringing my attention to the small form still sitting on the ground where I’d left her.

Nothing had ever felt like that before. Nobody had ever kissed me with such passion and power. Reaching up, I touched my lips, feeling the lingering electricity that remained where he’d touched me. I had almost no experience with men in a romantic way and assumed I’d either done something wrong or he simply didn’t want me because I was damaged after what Alex had done to me. Either way, I knew this couldn’t be good for the future living arrangements. Glancing up, I watched in nervous apprehension as Nick paced in front of the fire. Every few steps, he’d stop and look up at the stars, then resume his pacing or stare into the fire. Judging by his reaction, I knew I had ruined the first thing in my life that had felt right and good. I had no idea where I could go, but maybe it was for

the best that I packed the few things I had at the cabin and made my way on my own. I certainly didn’t want to stay where I wasn’t welcomed any more. “Let’s call it a night, okay?” Nick announced without looking at me. Before I could respond, he had the cooler in hand and was dumping melted ice and water over the flames. The hiss and smoke of the extinguished fire was a perfect metaphor for how I felt. “Can you grab the poles? I’ll get everything else.” He sounded cold and distant, nothing like the man I’d grown so close to lately. “Sure.” I pushed myself up, ignoring the lingering desire that remained, and made my way over to where the poles were waiting. The small lantern and the moonlight that spilled through the trees made it appear like the fairies had put a nightlight out for us. Add in the fresh air, the waves lightly crashing against the shore, and the crickets and frogs singing harmoniously, and you’ve got yourself a pretty amazing night. Unfortunately, everything seemed far less wonderful now. Shaking my head at how the night had turned out, I grabbed the poles and turned in time to find Nick standing still, his eyes focused on something in the forest. With his back to me, I had no idea he’d pulled a gun from his pants until he held it in front of him, the shimmer of the barrel reflecting in the

moonlight. “What is…” “Shhh!” he hushed me before I could finish. Quickly glancing around, I wondered if it were an animal or someone else who’d stumbled upon us. I couldn’t see or hear anyone, but from the way Nick was now taking slow, tentative steps forward, it was obvious that he did. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I wanted to back him up in some way, but with only a few poles in my hand and nothing else, I knew I would only get in the way. Deciding to stay put, I watched as he slowly progressed, disappearing past the tree line. His fading footsteps were the only remaining clue to where he was. The minutes slowly ticked by, my nerves gradually building as I stood along the riverbank alone. Every sound seemed magnified. With almost no light, I couldn’t see more than a couple feet in front of me. So, when the crackle of leaves sounded nearby, followed quickly by the haunting hoot of an owl behind me, I was pushed beyond my limit. I couldn’t stay there alone any longer. My imagination and fears were too much for me to battle. Just as I took a few steps in the direction Nick had gone, I knew I’d made a drastic mistake. The rapid thumps of racing footsteps and the cracking sound of breaking branches were the only

warning I had. Before I had a chance to scream for help, a large body was wrapping around me from behind, a glove-covered hand thrust across my mouth. The scent of leather wafted up my nose, followed quickly by a feral and sweaty aroma. That, combined with the short stature of someone pudgy and the way they greedily grabbed and twisted me in their hold was beyond my comprehension. My initial reaction was one of fear and denial, my eyes closing and my mind shutting down. When the stranger’s arm wrapped around my throat, in much the same way that Nick had practiced with me earlier, I wanted to give up. This was no friendly interaction. There was anger and hatred in the way I was being handled. When hot, fetid breath scalded my neck, the scent of alcohol and cigarettes enveloping me, the flashbacks were too vivid to block out this time. My knees gave out, my body threatening to spill onto the ground below. But with a large grunt and heavy breathing, my assailant refused that option and ignored my protests. With sickening precision, he yanked and jerked me upward, adjusting my weight in his arms as he started dragging me from behind. I watched as the lantern I’d dropped near the water’s edge got further and further away. Its light was dimly visible through the tall grass, growing smaller with each step we took. My mind was

straining to hold on, whispering that I was more than this. But it was like being stuck at the bottom of a well, the sound echoing and bouncing around until it was almost too faint to hear at all. It wasn’t until I pictured Nick returning to find me gone that I remembered how I now had the tools I needed to escape. Picturing his strength in my mind, his words of encouragement while he’d practiced repeatedly with me, I snapped to attention. I suddenly felt empowered to do something to protect myself. “Walk!” a scratchy, harsh voice growled roughly in my ear, demanding I obey when my feet started dragging against the ground. I refused and braced my feet to do as I’d been taught, forcing the man to come to a stop. Knowing he was slightly off balance from my sudden change, I took a deep breath and focused on Nick’s words in my head. With a calmness I didn’t feel, I turned my head and lowered my chin. Taking him by surprise, I was able to force him to readjust. He growled in anger, his arm squeezing tighter until the pressure against my ear and skull were almost unbearable. Knowing I was about to lose the advantage, I surged forward, opening my mouth just enough to grab hold and bite with all the force my jaws could apply. To my horror, the man held on, even as his flesh threatened to break off. I continued my attack and began to buck and kick with wild abandon, trying everything I could to

break free. It wasn’t going to work. My jaw was trembling in response to the force I was applying, the taste of dirty copper filling my mouth as he started dragging me further into the darkness. Hearing him cuss as he ignored my oral attack and flailing limbs, I remembered I had one more weapon at my disposal. Reaching backward, I frantically thrust my hand between his legs, blindly searching for what I knew would push him over the edge. It only took a few tries to locate what I needed, and a second later I gripped his groin as hard as possible, twisting and turning until the offending arm around my head dropped away, and a body thumped to the ground with a savage groan. Scurrying away, I was surrounded by darkness, the moonlight long ago disappearing behind a cloud and the lantern nowhere in sight. I tripped over a log and fumbled to get my balance as I made my way through the weeds and in the direction of the woods. “Nick!” I couldn’t breathe, my fear quickly taking over and seizing control of my lungs. “Help! Nick!” Running a few more steps, I heard someone coming toward me, twigs and tree limbs snapping in rapid succession, and came to a stop. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know if this person was friend or foe, Nick or the assailant. I wasn’t sure if I should scream bloody murder or curl up in a fetal position and silently play dead.

Forcing my body to stand absolutely still, I reigned in my breathing and focused on the sounds as they approached. “Nick?” My voice trembled, trying to whisper even though I knew it was pointless after boastfully announcing my location only moments before. “Gwen!” Oh, thank God. The sound of his voice filled me with solace. My body released its fight, collapsing to the ground, unable to withstand the sudden tremors that overtook me. Knowing I wasn’t completely safe yet, I frantically whipped my head in every direction, trying to seek out the whereabouts of the one who had caused this. I wasn’t sure if he would attack again with Nick nearby or if he would disappear into the darkness, but I wanted to be prepared. I couldn’t see or hear anything other than Nick’s rapid approach and breathed a small sigh of relief. On my knees, I watched as Nick raced out of the woods. The bobbing, small light on his phone illuminating a tiny path before him. “Gwen?” he panted, pausing his progression as he searched in every direction. I was spiraling toward a panic attack, the tremors continuing to rack my body and paralyze my mind. I knew Nick was near. I could both see and hear him. Yet, even with the relief that

knowledge provided, I felt uncontrollable rage and fear from the assault and the bombardment of memories from the past year. Raising my hand, I tried to wave in the darkness. “Here. Here, Nick!” My voice was barely audible, but thankfully enough for him to find me. With only a few large strides, he was kneeling before me, his hands rushing over my body in search for injuries. “I’m not… hurt,” I whispered, suddenly ashamed of what had happened—or almost happened again. “Why are you on the ground then?” His hands came to a stop, his flashlight taking over their progression as he sought to confirm my words. I knew the minute the illumination revealed the truth. I couldn’t see his face past the bright light, but his gasp was as good as any giveaway. “Someone… over there… he grabbed me.” Before I had the chance to elaborate, Nick had me crushed against his chest with one arm tightly holding me in place and the other arm outstretched in the direction I’d pointed. Feeling safer than what I had minutes before, I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight. Without delay, my tremors calmed, my mind at peace. I was still scared and nervous about who may be out there, but he was my refuge.

“We need to get out of here.” He slowly helped me to my feet but didn’t release me in the least. “I need you to stay beside me no matter what, okay?” I nodded in agreement, eager to get back to the cabin and safely behind locked doors as quickly as possible. “Good,” he stated with determination as he angled our bodies toward the direction I’d just come from. “I’m pretty sure whoever it is took off when you yelled. Let’s just cut through here and make our way to the truck. I’ll come back out here tomorrow and get all our stuff.” I nodded again, shifting my body so that one of his arms stayed around my shoulders and one of mine stayed tightly latched around his waist. We walked side by side through the tall brush and made our way to the gravel road where we’d parked the truck. The minute I was safely inside the cab, door locked, and Nick climbing into his seat, I took a deep breath. It did little to calm my nerves, though. Whoever had tried to grab me was out there, watching us. I didn’t know how I knew that, but I could feel their eyes lingering on me. “Please go,” I pleaded, trying not to break down in front of him. “No need to tell me twice,” he said as he turned the key and started the ignition.

I had a fleeting thought that the truck wouldn’t start, but as quickly as it came, Nick had the truck in gear and was spinning the tires in the gravel. Within minutes, we were on the main road and heading back to the cabin.

Three things troubled me about what had happened earlier. One, that someone was clearly after Gwen. Two, I had been so caught up in my head that I hadn’t been paying attention to our surroundings. The second thing I could rectify. Thankfully, it wasn’t too late. But the first, I had no idea who it could be. I couldn’t imagine Alex taking such a risk. He was too much of a pansy to try something like that. Besides, from Gwen’s description of the man’s body, he was way too short for Alex. Furthermore, he was now Boss’ little puppet. I highly doubted he even thought twice about her now that he was serving his master day in and day out. No, whoever that was, seemed far more skilled than Alex ever was. Checking my guns for the third time, I sat on the sofa and listened to the quiet sounds in the

cabin. Gwen had finally fallen asleep in the bedroom, her light breathing rhythmically sounding as she slept. It had taken her a couple of hours to calm down, and even then she couldn’t sleep unless I was sitting beside her in the bed. Not that I could blame her. From what she had said, she was very lucky to have kept a level head and escaped from whomever had tried to abduct her. Fucking hell! That was the third issue I had. I couldn’t imagine what she must feel like, but knowing I had failed her burned deeper than any failure I’d ever had. I was practically ready to rip her clothes away and forcefully eliminate her innocence one minute, and in the next, recklessly endangering her life by foolishly ignoring the environment we’d been in. It seemed I was more of a problem than a solution in her life. Unfortunately, there was no other course of action I could offer her. As long as I owed Boss a debt, she was stuck with me. When I’d seen the blood smeared across her mouth and cheek, my thoughts were a torrent of vicious ideas I planned to follow through on whenever I found the culprit who had left their stain on her. But stronger than those emotions was the realization that I could’ve lost her. The thought had come unbidden, its intensity unbearably more painful and frightening than anything I’d faced in my life before. I’d been aware of my insane

attraction to her. But this had nothing to do with physical desires. In just a short amount of time, she had broken through my ironclad walls and defenses, burrowing her way into the deepest recesses of my unworthy heart. She meant more to me than any words could explain. And I had let her down. “Nick?” Whipping my head up, I was astounded that she could walk soft enough to keep the floor boards from creaking in the old house. “Can I sleep out here by you tonight?” “Here?” I nodded to the couch thinking how uncomfortable it would be for her. “I just… I can’t…” Her lip trembled, and my heart broke all over again. It was my fault she had to feel this type of fear again. Hell, I’d sleep on thumb tacks if it would give her peace of mind. “Come on.” I stood up, taking my hand gun and two long rifles with me. “I’ll stay in the bedroom with you. It’s almost morning anyhow.” “Thank you,” she said softly, but the relief was evident. “It’s not a problem, tiger. Just no biting me in your sleep.” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out. As mad as I was at myself for failing her, I was immensely proud of her for using what little I’d taught her after only having the one day of practice

together.

The next morning came way too fast. I’d fallen asleep beside Gwen, thankfully too distracted by listening to every sound in and outside of the house to think about her body lying next to mine. But two hours of sleep only went so far. I was just finishing wiring the cabin and installing multiple security lights outside, when James, one of Boss’ more intelligent puppets pulled his motorcycle into the drive. I hadn’t told anyone that I’d been staying out here instead of my house in the city, but I wasn’t surprised that he knew. They probably had trackers on each of my vehicles, easily following me everywhere. Either that, or he was smart enough to keep track on all the guys who lived offsite, just as I did. Closing the box of extra wires, I tossed it into the shed without giving thought to where it landed and locked the door. By the time I turned around, James was already walking toward me. He wore leather cuts over his jeans, a pair of black leather riding boots—Harley, no doubt—and a tight, white T-shirt. The funny thing was, it was all for show. The man only rode a bike to look good for the ladies. He didn’t know the difference between a Kawasaki Ninja and a Harley Fatboy. He might have been schooled in the ways of the world and

serving the club, but he lacked any real education and was too lazy to seek any out on his own. “Hey, Jay, whataya doin’ out in these parts?” I did little to hide my frustration and annoyance that anyone would bother me at my home. I may have been an unwilling member of the crew, but when I finished my work every day, I expected the same respect as all the rest—which meant being left alone. After last night’s incident and minimal sleep, I wasn’t in the mood to play their games. “Boss man wants you to come in early tonight.” He came to a stop a few feet in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest and standing with his legs slightly spread. Did he think a little attitude and body stance would intimidate me? Obviously, he had no idea who I really was. We may have been cool with one another, even working together on some jobs during the past few years, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do what I had to if he ever crossed the line. “Yeah, so? He couldn’t just call and tell me that himself?” “He did. Couldn’t get you all day. Wanted to make sure you were all right, so he sent me over to check on you.” Slapping my pockets, one after the other, I realized I must’ve left my phone on the bed where I’d lay next to Gwen last night. Fuck! Speaking of

her, I glanced up just in time to see her duck out of the window in the kitchen. God, I hoped she didn’t come outside. James was right up there with Alex as far as women went. This time I wouldn’t even try to hold myself back if he tried anything stupid with her. “Guess I left it inside. Been out here working all day.” James shook his head and looked around the property. “You landscaping or something? Since when were you into the pretty shit?” He turned back toward me and smirked like he already knew the answer. The way his eyes took everything in, I was fully aware that there was more to this visit than just a call from Boss. He was in on something much deeper. Most likely, something to do with Boss wanting to keep an eye on me so I didn’t take off unexpectedly. “Well, someone has to do it. I’m not about to hire some little punk when I’m perfectly capable.” I gathered the few tools I had left on the ground and nodded toward the house. “I’m gonna grab a bite to eat and shower. Tell Boss I’ll be in in a couple hours.” I didn’t wait for a response. I briskly walked past him, offering a polite nod as a farewell. With each step, I could feel his glare burning through my back. He was smart enough not to follow, but

clearly not the brightest if he didn’t think I’d get my gun out and chase him off my property, too. Opening the back door, I turned and gave him a questioning look, one filled with rage and hatred for every person in the crew. It was enough to make him pull his head out of his ass and get moving. With a quick slam and lock of the door, I set the new security system and made sure every entry point was working correctly. With all the lights lit up, and the motorcycle outside pulling off, I yanked my dirty shirt over my head and removed my boots and socks. Noticing the silence that permeated the house, I went in search of Gwen to tell her I’d be leaving soon.

“Gwen?” I could hear him calling from downstairs, but I didn’t move a muscle. I couldn’t. Fear had me paralyzed, hiding to stay safe. “Gwen, you up here?” His voice was getting more urgent as the sound of his bare feet smacked against the wooden stairs and floor. I could hear everything in here—every creak, every door, every sound. It made me feel more in control somehow. “Gwen!” He was getting angry. I should say something, but what? More than the fear, I was ashamed that I continually responded this way in his presence. Tears silently flowed down my cheeks, my feet were cramped underneath me, and my muscles protested their restraint. But I refused to move. Door after door opened and closed, each growing

louder as he progressed down the hall. My name was like a bullhorn as he billowed out a frantic call in hopes that I’d respond. Each time I heard him, my chest ached and my tears flowed faster. “Gwen?” He was in the bedroom now, his voice one of disbelief and confusion. The clothes I’d thrown out of the way to get into the closet must’ve landed everywhere. In my rush to safety, I hadn’t taken time to hide any clues. “Hey, are you in here?” He sounded calm, worried even, but I still couldn’t answer. Pressing my back as far against the wall as possible, I watched with tear-stained eyes as he slowly pulled the sliding closet doors open, the subtle creak of metal grinding as it slid along the floor. When he leaned in and pushed the remaining clothes aside, I couldn’t stop my reaction. I turned my head and braced myself for some type of punishment. It made no sense. My heart was screaming that Nick would never do such a thing, but my mind was racing in circles, frantically trapped in the past where my only existence was to take what was given to me. “No, no, no,” he whispered agonizingly. “Gwen, I’m not gonna hit you, sweetie.” His hand gently laid on my knee, the warmth burning through my jeans. “Please come out. I swear nobody will ever hurt you here.” I heard him exhale slowly and

turned my head just the smallest amount so I could see where he was. What I saw astonished me. Instead of giving up or leaving an out of control woman to deal with her issues alone, he was clearing the shoes and miscellaneous items out of the middle of the closet floor, throwing them behind him without a second thought. Once everything was moved, he crawled on his hands and knees and sat down beside me, his back against the same wall that mine was and his shoulder gently leaning against mine. “It’s all right. We can stay here as long as you like.” I had the urge to laugh even though my tears still hadn’t stopped falling. Maybe I was truly insane now. Maybe I never would be normal again. Whatever it was, I no longer cared. I was awed by the man beside me and the gentle caring side of him that I was certain few knew existed. “Can you tell me what spooked you, though? I mean, if it’s something I did, I don’t want to do it again. Ya know?” He turned his head and lifted his hand, gently sliding it around my shoulders, prying my back away from the wall, and pulling me underneath the safety of his arm. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. Okay?” With a deep breath, I stuttered, trying to reign in the freefall of tears and answer him. Another deep breath and I licked my lips to reply. “It wasn’t

you.” His body visibly relaxed, his tense muscles that surrounded me seemed to breathe their own sigh of relief. “What is it then? You can tell me anything, really.” “It was…” I swallowed, trying to gather the courage. Thinking of the large, muscular man who was sitting with his knees uncomfortably tucked beside me in this tiny, crowded closet made me smile and gave me the nudge I needed. But my smile quickly disappeared the minute that man’s face came into my thoughts. “Him.” “Him?” Nick asked, puzzled for a brief moment. “Oh. James? The guy who was here?” I couldn’t say a word. Just the name spoken out loud was enough to bring every despicable image to mind. Nodding, I burrowed myself against Nick and wrapped my arms around him. He was the only safe haven I’d ever had, and I would revel in it for as long as I had it. “Shhh, it’s okay. Whatever he did to you before, he’ll never do again.” Nick’s body was tense again, no doubt upset about what he assumed I meant, but his words and gentle embrace were tender and patient. “You understand, Gwen? I won’t let him near you. I swear that to you.” “Thank you,” I whispered, refusing to release the steady hold I had around his waist. I knew my

eyes, and most likely my nose, were leaking all over him, but I couldn’t help myself. That’s when I noticed he was shirtless, his skin pressed tightly against my own. I was shocked that I’d been so upset I’d missed that fact earlier, but even more taken aback that I was sharing my bodily fluids with him. It was one thing to rub snot on someone’s clothes, but not his perfectly sculpted chest that was now overtaking my thoughts. After trying unsuccessfully to wipe my nose with my sleeve, I grabbed a nearby shirt and yanked it down from the hanger. This was probably the most disgusting thing he’d ever witnessed, but I refused to drip all over him. As I finished blowing my nose and then wiping my eyes with the clean corner, Nick began laughing at me, surprising me enough to make me look up at him. “I can’t believe I finally found a beautiful woman who isn’t girly.” His smile erased every fear and worry I had, had only minutes earlier. The power of it so strong, I couldn’t help the responding smile in return. “There she is. Much better.” I was speechless, unable to think of anything to say in return. So, I retreated to his chest once more, allowing his strength and warmth to cocoon me within.

I didn’t want to leave her. I felt like I was abandoning her after all she’d been through during the past twenty-four hours. But if I didn’t go soon, Boss would have fifty men out there hauling my ass into the warehouse to see him. After what she’d told me in the closet, I knew that was the last thing she needed to deal with. In fact, I was surprised she was able to cope at all. James had been one of Alex’s babysitters when he’d gone out of town once. Where Alex had shown some small amount of mercy and patience with Gwen, James had shown none. He’d hit, whipped, and forced her to endure almost every imaginable sex act, other than true intercourse, with or on her. It was a wonder she’d only hid in the closet and not tried to run away. Furthermore, her trust in me, her willingness to share the most

embarrassing and scary memories that she’d endured absolutely floored me. I didn’t deserve her trust. Especially after failing her last night. But I was determined to find a way to earn it and keep it. The more I learned about her, the beautiful, caring spirit she hid inside and the powerful strength that continued to grow, the more I felt compelled to make sure she was safe for all time. “I’ll be back in a few hours. The security system is on. I’ll know if any of the windows or doors open or close. Even if it’s just for a second or if the power is off. So, no worrying. Okay?” She was curled up on the sofa, a fuzzy tan blanket wrapped around her. She looked adorable. The tears were long gone, washed away after our talk and the quick shower she took before making a small dinner. In their place was the most beautifully radiant eyes and smile I’d ever seen. “I’ll be fine. Hurry up and go before they come looking for you.” She tossed a piece of popcorn from her bowl at me and giggled. Little did she know how true her words really were. “Okay, okay.” I laughed, grabbing my jacket from beside the door. “I’ll be back soon.” “I’ll be here.” She smiled then turned back to the TV, resuming the movie marathon she’d begun earlier. Shaking my head at her choice of Gone With

The Wind and now Twilight, I set the alarm and exited the cabin within the thirty seconds it allowed. Standing there on my front porch, I was suddenly slammed with the enormity of what was going on. I’d sacrificed my only guaranteed escape from this lifestyle to rescue a woman I didn’t know by bargaining with the devil himself and enslaving myself to him for God only knew how much longer. As if that weren’t enough, I could deny it all I wanted, but my heart had become irrevocably hers, regardless of whether my body could ever have hers. Now, for some unknown reason, she was in danger, and I was the only one left to protect her. Yet, I had to leave and hope and pray that she’d be here when I came back. “Fuck!” I took off toward my truck, overwhelmed by the hundreds of thoughts racing through my mind. Yanking my door open, I jumped inside and glanced at the small cabin one last time. I had a very bad feeling but knew I had to leave. Either I got my ass in gear and made my way to Boss, or he’d come here to meet with me. That was something I could never let happen. Starting the ignition, I pulled my door closed, floored the accelerator, and took off down the gravel road. With a silent prayer to a God who had never heard me before, I prayed for her safety and that I’d come back as quickly as I’d promised.

I’d been dozing off and on, woken only by the sounds of the wind or my own fears bubbling to the surface every so often. Each time, I’d glance around the well-lit room and ensure that the windows were still covered, the doors still locked, and nothing was out of place. Again, I had the odd sensation that I was being watched. Maybe not directly since Nick had made certain that every window was covered with both blinds and curtains before he left. But someone was out there, watching and waiting. I only wished I knew why. Deciding my imagination was getting the best of me, I grabbed the DVD case on the table and pulled out the next movie, Full Moon. Smiling at my choice of distractions, I crossed the room and took the first DVD out of the machine, inserting this one next. As soon as I pushed it in and hit play,

the creak outside the window grabbed my attention and threatened to tear me apart. Standing completely still, I debated what to do. I knew what that creak was from. There was one loose wooden board on the porch. One that creaked whenever someone reached the top of the steps to approach the front door. Glancing at the clock, it was only midnight and I knew Nick wouldn’t be back for another hour at least. I reminded myself of the security system he’d installed, the windows that nobody could see through, the bars on all the lower level windows, and the gun he’d surprisingly left on the coffee table for me. With a few deep breaths, I fought against the raging panic and decided I was done being afraid. I may not have known how to shoot a gun, but I would die trying if that’s what it took. Grabbing it from the table, I returned to the sofa and covered my legs with the blanket. With the gun in hand, I forced myself to watch Bella and Edward, trying my best to get lost in one of my favorites.

A few hours later, I was woken by the sound of the creak, followed by loud footsteps across the porch outside. Glancing at the television, I was greeted with a blue screen that announced it was almost two in the morning. I had fallen asleep long

before the movie had ended. Hearing the sound of a key sliding into the locked door, followed by a quick procession of beeps then the door closing, I pulled the gun from under my pillow and made sure the safety was off. With shaking hands, I held it upright, pointing it at the back of the man now closing the door. I should’ve known it was only Nick by the way he carried himself, but half asleep and still full of fear, I couldn’t sort fact from fiction. The moment he turned around, he froze, his eyes growing large with surprise. “It’s only me, Gwen.” He held his hands up in surrender. “Nobody else here. I just reset the alarm, so all’s good now.” With a quick nod toward the gun, I remembered what I was pointing and instantly dropped it on the table. “Sorry,” I said sheepishly, pushing myself to a sitting position. “It’s been a long night.” “Yeah, I totally know what you mean.” He kicked off his boots, pulled the sweatshirt over his head, and walked over to the television to turn it off. “Sorry I’m late. It took longer than I thought. Everything good here?” He held his hand out, offering to pull me to my feet. I was puzzled at first but did as he requested. “Some noises out front. Sounded like someone on the porch, but nothing else that I noticed. Just

freaked me out pretty bad.” With his free hand, he grabbed the gun off the table, reset the safety, and slid it into his waistband. “Yeah, I guess so if you were ready to use this on me.” He smirked and pulled me behind him as he started to walk toward the bedroom. “Uh, Nick?” “I’m so tired, I could sleep for weeks. Just figured we’d both lay down. You know, get some sleep. Nothing funny. Promise.” He hadn’t slowed his steps and was already in front of the bed before he let go of my hand. “I’ll sleep on the floor if you’d rather.” He grabbed the extra blanket and pillow and was already spreading them out before I could respond. “No, I was just surprised and still half asleep. Sleep on the bed.” When he looked unsure still, I tacked on a, “please?” and got the response I’d expected. A smirk, a quick replacement of the blanket, and a man jumping lengthwise into bed. “I’ll sleep on top of the covers. I just really need some rest.” Other than a small lamp beside the bed, there was little illumination, but enough that I noticed the black and blue beginning to form under his eye, the cut above his lip, and what looked like road rash along the other side of his cheek. I couldn’t help the tiny gasp that escaped in response.

“Don’t worry. It’s not as bad as it looks.” Even with his eyes closed, he smirked as he replied. Cautiously moving to my side of the bed, I debated asking him what had happened. By the looks of it, he was already almost asleep. Considering I’d been here for almost a month and he’d always showered and eaten before going to sleep, I knew whatever it was must’ve been pretty bad if he looked that banged up and was already passed out. Reaching toward the light, I debated turning the lamp off but decided he was already asleep so it wouldn’t bother him any. I covered up with the blankets that lined the bed and glanced beside me. I wanted to reach out, touch the injuries and miraculously heal them for him. If nothing else, I wished, for the first time since being a little girl, that I could curl up and hold him as we slept. But considering his response after kissing me the night before, I knew that neither of those would be appreciated. Well, the healing maybe, but most likely not the touching it required in my fantasy. Realizing my thoughts would either progress to inappropriate desires or revert to worry and fear, I decided to go to sleep. Regardless of what lay outside the door, or what had happened to Nick at work, I felt completely safe and at peace lying beside him now. With a deep, contented sigh, I closed my eyes, and quickly joined his sleep.

The next two weeks were increasingly more stressful. Someone was fucking around on my property when I was gone, leaving little clues behind that only a fool would miss. A chair that was moved from one side of the yard to the other. A cable wire that had been cut and was hanging haphazardly against the house. Or the best one was last night, a lady’s negligée and handcuffs lying on the doorstep when I got home from work. I wanted to install some motion-activated cameras, but in addition to the usual business I took care of, Boss had me chasing down some asshole who scammed a few grand from him. That meant working twelve to fifteen hours every day. I’d planned to do it tomorrow when I was off work— that was if I could finally catch up with that fucker and take care of him. If not, I’d be sweating it out

another week with no break in between. It was just the life of servitude when you worked for the devil himself. Gwen had been trying to be strong, but she practically ran into my arms every morning when I came home. She’d given up on sleeping at night. The little noises she’d hear and the overall feeling like someone was outside was too much for her to relax. She’d sit and watch the house, gun in hand until the minute I’d come home. I already felt like a total ass for leaving her every night and knowing she was vulnerable and suffering. But I had little choice in the matter if I wanted to keep her safe. Still, every time she’d throw her arms around me and welcome me home, I knew it was out of fear and blamed myself completely. After the nice little gift I’d found by the front door this morning, I knew it was time to move on to somewhere else. I had every intention on finishing whatever game this person was playing, but I wouldn’t allow her to be in any further danger or caught in the middle. I’d originally picked the cabin so we’d be away from the club’s prying eyes and tucked away where she could relax in privacy. My hope that she could take her time and heal in the peaceful setting was being stolen from us. I had no idea who this asshole was, but I felt bad for the motherfucker when I found out. I wasn’t taking it lightly that their focus seemed to center around

making her miserable—or worse. They’d be lucky if they remained alive after I finished with them. Moving us to my place in Jacksonville seemed to be the only option remaining. It was a bit too close for comfort when it came to the guys and the possibility of her crossing paths with someone like Alex in the future, but it would decrease my driving time each day and she would be surrounded by neighbors. Hopefully, the combination would provide the extra security I couldn’t when I wasn’t at home. “How would you like to go stay at my other place for a few days? It’s closer to my work, and maybe you’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep again.” She had just sat a plate, overflowing with pancakes, sausages, and eggs on the table and was in the process of sitting down. “Don’t you think they’ll just follow us there?” She watched as I loaded my plate with home cooked goodness, slapping butter on, and pouring syrup over everything. “That place already has a decent security system. Plus, I’m gonna install some cameras here. Hopefully, we’ll know who it is before the week’s up. And if we leave during the day, I’m pretty sure they won’t even notice we’re gone.” She nodded her head and grabbed a single pancake and sausage and placed them on her plate.

“But what about your truck? They’ll see that it’s missing.” “I’m gonna spread the word that my truck is out of commission and at the shop. If it’s anyone I work with, they’ll expect it to be gone. Plus, I haven’t used my other car for anything since I got it. It’s just sitting in the garage there. It was going to be my exit vehicle. One I knew would be safe and untraceable.” Realizing I’d said too much about my past, I began shoving bite after bite into my mouth. “Exit vehicle?” Unfortunately, she was following the conversation closely and didn’t miss a word. “Yeah, someday soon I want to leave this job and everything here behind. Start fresh somewhere new.” Her eyes, always so big and beautiful, transformed as she squinted questioningly at me. I could see the wheels spinning in her mind, trying to put the pieces together. “You look surprised.” “Well, I am. I guess.” She took a drink of orange juice and sat the glass down slowly. “I mean, you have this cabin and another house. I just assumed you were pretty settled down here.” The look of fear and worry crossed her face before she could mask it. It made me wonder what my words could mean to her to cause that reaction.

“It’s just time. My job isn’t something noble or hell, even something I’m proud of. I just want to live in peace for once.” I was doing a horrible job explaining. Even my words were becoming laced with anger simply from the thoughts that plagued my mind. “You know you’ll be coming with me, right?” I paused with my fork halfway to my mouth, the pancakes and sausage overflowing and hanging precariously before me. “I mean, it’s not really an option, but I hope you don’t mind coming along?” Shoveling the delicious bite into my mouth, I was thankful for something to shut me up. I sounded like a bumbling teenager. After all the times I’d practiced having this conversation with her, this was nothing like what I’d prepared. “Oh.” Her shoulders drooped and her focus returned to the few bites of food that remained on her plate. Stabbing a few more pieces of food with my fork, I watched her push hers around the syrup on her plate. It was obvious that we needed to have this talk, regardless of how uncomfortable it made me feel or how it made me look like a fucking asshole. After finishing the last few bites, I glanced up to find her watching me. The lost look was almost more than I could bear. I had no idea how she was able to crawl under my cold, dead skin and worm her way into my shell of a heart, but she had.

“Gwen?” She was just about to stand when I caught her attention. “Listen, I need you to know that if I could, I would let you go anywhere you wanted. Back home. A new home. A friend’s home. Whatever. If I thought you’d be safe, you’d be on your way in a heartbeat.” I thought I’d done good, but the sadness radiating from her was unbearable. She looked forlorn, like I’d taken away her puppy or something. “I can’t really go into more detail than I already have, but you’re stuck with me until this threat is gone. Okay?” “So, you want me to stay because it isn’t safe yet?” she asked, her lower lip quivering slightly. “You. Anyone you are with. Anyone you cared about. They’d all be in danger. I won’t let that happen.” I couldn’t tell if that was the answer she’d wanted or not. She nodded and grabbed her plate, briskly standing and taking it to the sink. A moment later, she grabbed my plate and added it to the others, running water over them to rinse them off. Assuming it was hard for anyone to lose their freedom, especially after all she’d already been through, I couldn’t stop myself from trying to reassure her. Pushing my chair back, I turned sideways and watched as she washed the dishes. It amazed me how something so simple could be so

erotic. The way the growing suds enveloped her arms, the wet slickness that coated her skin when she’d lift her hands to rinse a dish. It was pure insanity, yet tantalizing and seductive. Adjusting myself, I forced my wayward thoughts aside and focused on what we’d been discussing. “Can I ask you something?” Without stopping, she continued washing a plate, turning her head briefly to agree. “Sure.” “If you could leave and go anywhere now, where would you go?” I didn’t want to know the answer. I wanted her to stay here with me. My selfish, newfound desires wanted her close to me at all times. But maybe if she told me, I’d be able to hate myself enough to push those thoughts aside once and for all. “Anywhere?” she asked, letting the water out of the sink, and rinsing it before turning to face me. “Anywhere.” I nodded, waiting impatiently for the nail to seal my coffin. With the dishes done, she dried her hands on a towel and turned to lean backward against the sink. Her eyes took on a dreamy look, one I wished was reserved only for me. “Well, I’d pick the Bahamas or maybe the Rocky Mountains.” She smiled and glanced at me. “What about you?” “Wait. I don’t mean like that.” It was hard

enough to force myself to face what I was keeping her from. I knew I didn’t want to repeat this discussion. I had to rephrase my question so she could give me the pain I craved. “If you left right now and were safe to go anywhere, who would you go back to? I mean, your family must be crazy with worry about you. Right?” There. I said it. But instead of the self-inflicted pain I’d hoped for, I only found sorrow and regret in the beautiful eyes that stared back at me. I was at a loss and about to say forget it when she slowly opened her mouth, her words so soft I had to strain to hear them. “I…” she paused, taking a deep breath, “…I had just graduated from college. I really didn’t have any close friends. I just kept to myself so I could finish I guess.” “And your family?” “I don’t have one.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it were nothing. “Not really. I’d be surprised if they’ve even noticed I haven’t called or come by. They’re usually too focused on their next high to think about anything to do with me. That is unless I got in the way of it.” She chuckled an evil, self-deprecating laugh. I wanted to rush over to her and wrap her in my arms and apologize. I couldn’t imagine any parent not adoring this amazing woman. Her response had

never crossed my mind. I had assumed Alex had been the beginning of her world falling apart. When in truth, I knew from my own experience, her world had always been broken. If I felt protective before, there was no words that now described how I felt toward her now.

I hated that he looked at me with such pity. I was past all of that and currently doing good dealing with what had happened recently. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. “So, what’d you graduate with?” He offered a smile, and I was all too happy to accept his change of subject. “Business. I figured one day I might go back and become a lawyer. Maybe not. But that was a good place to start. “You’re amazing. You know that?” His eyes shone with something I couldn’t explain. It was the second time he’d praised me. The second time I felt proud of myself with him. And I was certain it was definitely not the last time I would feel so turned on because of it.

“Thanks. I just wanted to make a good life, start over, like you’d said.” He nodded approvingly as if he understood every thought and feeling deep inside me. “You’ll make an amazing attorney someday.” His words made me laugh. Becoming a lawyer was the last thing on my mind right now. But the idea of threatening to sue him was quite comical. Grabbing the towel I’d dried my hands on, I flung it at him. When he caught it in mid-air, the look he gave had lost all humor and turned incredibly sexy. I had planned to reply with something witty, but as he stood and stalked the few steps toward me, I lost all train of thought. His large, muscular body and his deep woodsy scent were now invading my space. When his head dipped down, slowly lowering to my level, I was awash in everything that was Nick. “You will do amazing things, and becoming an attorney is the least of them,” he whispered the words softly, but with complete conviction. His face only inches from mine, he held the power to make me believe anything he said. Before I could understand his intention, or act on my sensual desires, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. His lips gently pressing against my skin and holding me prisoner for far too little time. “Don’t ever forget that.” He gave me one final look, sealing every feeling—both sexual and emotional. He had

no clue how powerful his words were. I could never forget this moment no matter how hard I tried. “Okay,” I whispered back, unable to hide the smile that broke free from my lips. “Damn right it’s okay.” He stood to his full height and returned to his normal obnoxious self, smirking as he walked away. Releasing a deep breath I’d unknowingly been holding in, I replayed his words again and again as I finished cleaning the kitchen. I would never forget the look in his eyes, the way his body stood before mine, or the gentle kiss he’d used to seal them in my heart. Whatever plans I’d briefly considered about leaving I completely forgot. As long as he’d have me near him, I would stay. Maybe one day I’d be enough for him to want me in the same way that I was growing to want him.

“I think we’re all set,” Nick called out as I finished packing the small bag of clothes he’d asked me to. “I’ll be right there!” I called back, reaching into the closet to grab the new pair of sneakers he’d bought me last week. Shoving them into the bag as well, I turned around to hurry and join him, coming face to face with a rock hard body. “Ugh.” My face literally planted between his hard pecks.

Stepping back, I knew he was trying to contain his laughter while bracing my shoulders, but I was too embarrassed to join in. “Sorry, I thought you were in the living room still.” I glanced down at my feet, hoping to hide my red cheeks. “You drive me insane, woman!” He laughed and pulled me into a fierce bear hug before I could look at him. He was still laughing when he picked me up and spun me in a circle, lifting my feet in the air and twirling me around. “Ohmygod, stop, I’m gonna be sick!” I couldn’t help the returning laughter that poured out of me. A few more spins and he was finally setting me back on my feet. This time holding my shoulders when I bobbled side to side from the dizziness. “You big lug!” I smacked his arm to playfully get away from him. It only made him laugh harder as I retrieved my bag from where I’d dropped it on the floor and stood by the door waiting for him to join me. Shaking my head at how ridiculously sexy he was even when he wasn’t trying to be, it was impossible to wipe the smile from my face. “Are you done laughing at me yet?” “Almost.” He continued chuckling as he took the bag from me and angled his arm out the bedroom door. “Ladies first.” “Why do I not trust you?”

“Hmm, must be my charm, I guess.” “Charm, my ass.” I turned and led the way. Once we had everything packed inside the car, he proceeded to show me the six cameras he’d set up and the monitoring app he’d installed on his laptop. Packing it up, he set the security system, then slung the carrier bag over his shoulder, this time leading the way back to the car. We spent the next hour driving and discussing many of the places we passed, what music we liked, and anything that popped into our minds. It was strangely normal. The thought that I could ‘escape’ passed through my mind like it had during the other times he’d taken me out. But this time, I realized there wasn’t anything to escape from. Yes, he said my life would be in danger if I left, but he never locked me in or made me feel trapped. In fact, I realized, I was choosing to stay. Day after day, it was my decision. The revelation made me giddy inside, far more cheerful and boisterous than usual. So, when one of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on and I began singing along, bolting out note after note, I wasn’t surprised to find him watching me with his mouth hanging open as he glanced between the road and me. Just as I was putting my heart and soul into Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours,” he did one better than me. He sang the chorus, his harmony perfectly on pitch, and the sound more majestic than anyone I’d

ever heard before. Not only did he sound amazing, but he looked completely carefree and at ease for the first time since I’d met him. “What?” he asked, suddenly bashful after the song had finished. “Never heard a man sing before?” “Not like that. You should really consider a career in music. You’re amazing!” He shook his head in denial, but the smile was a true giveaway. If not the smile, the small pink tint that slowly crept in his cheeks sealed the deal. “Are you blushing?” I laughed, unable to hold it back. “No! The sun is shining in the window and making me hot!” He huffed, trying unsuccessfully to be offended. “I tend to change colors when I sing. It’s like a magical unicorn or something.” “You’re definitely a unicorn, but magical? We’ll have to see about that.” “Oh, you’ll have no doubt how magical I am when I…” He suddenly ended his sentence, clearly not comfortable with what he was thinking. But I wasn’t going to let that one slide. Not when we were having such a good time. Not to mention, I liked where his thoughts were heading. “Not when you what, Mr. Rainbow?” I batted my eyes at him, making sure he could see me in the corner of his eye.

“You’re going to get in trouble doing that,” he growled softly, his lips pursing together. Leaning further over the armrest, I strained as far as my seatbelt would go and puckered my lips in a humorous way. “I don’t believe you.” I batted my eyes again, this time holding my puckered lips in exaggeration to make him laugh. Shocking me, he turned and took advantage of my offer, grabbing my neck with one hand and latching his mouth onto mine. Instantaneously, I lost the funny pucker and found myself racing to meet his tongue as it demanded entrance and began dueling with mine. The way he kissed as if it were a promise and a threat wrapped in one, mesmerized and filled me with ecstasy. Wishing I could tear the restraining belt away from my body, I couldn’t get close enough. Our mouths seemed to mold and dance sensually along the other. Our desires quickly playing out through the limited contact. Sliding my hand along his jaw, I relished the feel of his day old beard under my fingers. There was nothing but us in that moment. No past or future. No worries or fears. Releasing a moan I couldn’t contain, his hand tightly gripped my hair, pulling me closer as he bit my lip. He was every bit as desperate as I was. Sucking the sting away, he angled my head, slowly kissing a path along my jawline and to my ear.

“Fucking…perfect,” he whispered just before a loud horn sounded outside. Pulling back, he didn’t seem to care about whoever was impatiently waiting for us to move. I hadn’t even realized we’d stopped at a red light and had to admit, I hoped it’d change back to red before he drove off again. He was looking at me with a fierce possessiveness I’d never witnessed before, his stark desire completely unveiled. He looked like he would devour me, ravish me, and leave me wanting more. Releasing his hold on my hair, he smirked as he gave me one last quick kiss, and turned back to the road. Fucking perfect was right. I couldn’t stop staring at him, the intensity of our connection refusing to release its hold on me. “I can’t stop myself if you keep doing those cute things.” He was being playful, but the honesty in his words rung true. “Then don’t,” I said without pause, meaning it with complete conviction. His head whipped sideways, quickly assessing my words before turning back to the road. I watched as he slowly became lost in thought, his knuckles tightening on the steering wheel. I had no idea what he was thinking, but from the outward appearance that was one question I wasn’t ready to ask. If it had anything to do with me not being good

enough, I knew I couldn’t handle that truth yet. Refusing to allow our moment to be ruined, I turned the radio channel and laughed when I found another song I liked. It was a perfect antidote to the sudden cloud that seemed to darken our mood. Not to mention, it was one of my grandmother’s favorites, so I knew it was meant to be. With Sunny and Cher backing me up, I got lost in the words, closing my eyes as I sang the funny, yet fitting lyrics. I opened my eyes as I continued, pleased to find Nick alternating between watching me and the traffic. The smile on his face and tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel were all the encouragement I needed. Shocking me, Nick jumped in on the final verse, singing Sunny’s part of the duet. His voice was flawless, his timing perfect. Even if it were an easy song to sing, his skills could rival anyone I’d heard before. As we finished one duet and started the next, Nick reached over and took my hand in his. The simple act, so normal and taken for granted by most, was the dearest and sweetest thing I’d ever experienced. Moments later, when he lifted our joined hands and used them as a microphone, my

heart wanted to melt. This strong, fearsome man who lived a life most would cower from, had a gentleness and beauty about him that stole my breath and left me speechless.

“Here we are. Home sweet home.” I grimaced as I said it, knowing this place had never felt like home. Hell, it never even felt welcoming when I came here. But I wanted Gwen to feel at peace and comfortable here. So, I tried my best to infuse my words with cheerfulness. “Wow. It’s nice,” she said as she stepped inside. Closing the door behind us, I watched as she silently walked further inside, taking in her new surroundings. I wanted to apologize again, wishing I could provide a nicer place for her to live in. I wanted to give her all my money and tell her to buy anything she wanted to make it feel like her own. More than anything, I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her hard enough to imprint her body

against mine for all time. “Is this your dog?” she asked, pointing at a small picture I kept on the bookshelf next to the sliding glass doors in the living room. “That was Johnny. He was my dog when I was a little kid.” He was also the last thing I wanted to think about. “Come on, I’ll show you around.” I started down the hall, hoping she’d follow. It wasn’t that I didn’t love that dog. It was all the memories attached to a past life I kept safely locked away that I didn’t want her anywhere near. “You can have your choice of bedrooms. There’s three bedrooms, two baths, and a kitchen big enough to bake all night long if you want.” Turning to look behind me, I was pleased to find her beaming smile. The purity of her spirit completely flooded my heart and erased any memories that had gotten too close. “Oh, and there’s an empty family room downstairs that you can set up any way you’d like to do your artwork in.” I’d paused by the first bedroom doorway, waiting for her to enter before me. Instead, she surprised me once again, flinging her arms around my waist and lying her head over my heart. “Thank you, Nick,” she mumbled against my shirt before looking up at me. “Thank you so much.” Her appreciation for something so little left me in awe.

“No need to thank me for anything. This house is yours now, too.” She briefly glanced up at me before returning her head to my chest and gave me another overwhelming squeeze. The affection she bestowed on me was a treasure I’d grown to long for. Few and far between, it was extremely special when she allowed herself to just act and not hold herself back. I had been amazed by that same quality when we were riding in the car. Anyone else may have allowed my confused, self-hating demeanor, to ruin the day. But not her. She’d taken my life by storm, erasing the horrible loneliness and filling me with the desire to do and be all she could possibly need. I’d surprised myself when I’d reached over and held her hand. I’d never shared such a little, yet powerful intimacy with someone. With her, it just felt right. I continually found myself wanting and doing things I never would’ve before. She was my kryptonite. Releasing me far sooner that I’d prefer, her absence brought me back to the present as she hurried into the different bedrooms, eagerly exploring every space available. I stood motionless, absently rubbing the spot where her head had lain. It was such a relief to see her blissfully picking the one she wanted for herself. Happiness seemed to radiate from her. Knowing I had helped put it there

gave me the courage to believe that maybe I could one day be enough for her after all. Claiming the room on the end of the house, stating it had the best location for the sun to shine in, she gradually made her way through the rest of the home. I’d never really had any company here. Not even the women I’d slept with over the years had come here. The closest they ever got to this place was the Holiday Inn around the corner. Realizing my lack of decorations and anything that seemed homey, I apprehensively watched her as she progressed through each room, taking in every detail she could find. I found myself on edge, my nerves beating at me from the inside out as I waited to see if it would meet her approval. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out, “Do you like it?” “Ohmygod, yes! Are you crazy?” She bounced up and down as she started looking through the cabinets in the kitchen. “Um, we will have to do something about supplies, though. I don’t think we’ll get very far with two cans of soup and three bottles of water.” The revelation of her cute and bubbly personality was more than I could handle. Allowing the relief to wash over me, I crossed the room in only a few steps, approaching her from behind, and trapping her body between mine and the cabinet.

With my body pressing against her ass, restraint never entered my mind. I simply wanted and acted. Our level of being comfortable with each other was growing beyond anything I could explain. It should’ve scared the shit out of me. Instead, it spurred me on, driving me to do things I never would have before. Leaning over her shoulder, I breathed in her fresh vanilla scent and whispered in her ear. “You can buy anything you want, for any room in this house, as long as it makes you smile like this every day.” Her deep intake of breath had her leaning backward, her bottom pressing against my growing hardness. When she turned her head and exposed her neck, the soft curves of her body seemed to mold and shape erotically with mine. It was temptation magnified. Closing my eyes, I let my senses direct me as I ran my nose along the exposed column under her ear. With every inch I mapped and memorized, I breathed her in, desperately fighting the urges my body was demanding of me. Coming to the dip along her shoulder, my lips parted, unable to resist the taste of her skin. She had no idea of the depth of her sensuality. How beautiful and enticing she was inside and out. I could only wish for the chance to show her one day.

My mind became a haze of desire, my mouth exploring further as the fire raged inside of me. It didn’t help that she’d turned her body, effectively giving me permission to continue. Her fingers were entwined in my hair, urging my head toward her chest as I sucked and kissed a path lower. Unable to hold myself back, I grabbed the opening of the Vneck she wore, pulling it to the side to reveal the smooth skin above her breast. I wanted her with fierce desperation. The intense passion stoking the flames threatened to burn us both if we didn’t stop. With a remorseful groan, I knew I had to step away, and lifted my head in preparation to go. But I’d forgotten her hands. Before I could completely separate our bodies, she was pulling me back, wordlessly proving she’d meant every word she’d said during our ride here. Her lips quickly reacquainted with mine, our bodies rushing to pick up where we’d left off in the car. It was frenzied perfection as we both demanded more. With my hand still gripping her shirt, I couldn’t help but extend my thumb, brushing it over the fabric to find the hidden peak that was straining underneath. She was so responsive, her body rocking erotically against mine as we continued to nip, suck, and kiss. Taking the tiny bud between my fingers, I gently pinched and rolled the sting away. Her breasts were perfect,

her nipples begging for more. Sliding my other hand from her hip to her breast, I held them both, cursing the offending fabric that separated us. With a roughness I hadn’t expected, I molded and squeezed her fullness, pinching her nipples until she broke our kiss and gasped aloud. The action caused us both to pause, our eyes locking on one another as we tried to catch our breath. With deceptive gentleness, I released her nipples, gliding my palms over the protruding peaks to soothe the sting. Watching her back arch, her body fusing tightly against mine, I continued the massage while I drank in the sight of her. I’d thought I was in control of the situation, but when she closed her eyes in response, her head tilting back as she moaned, I quickly realized otherwise. My body demanded that I flip her over, pinning her beneath me and forcefully taking her from behind. The desire was so strong, I felt myself tremble in need. Thankfully, I had enough presence of mind to keep from doing what I longed for. Removing my hands, I pulled her close, wanting to avoid hurting her feelings like I’d done before. I only hoped she could somehow understand. We were both panting, our bodies raging for relief as I brought my mouth to her ear and lingered with one final kiss. “I have to take a break, Gwen. I’m sorry.” I quickly pulled away, refusing to look in her

eyes. I wasn’t sure if I’d find condemnation, hurt, or confusion in response, but knowing I was the cause of anything that harmed her was too much for me. I hurried outside, using the excuse of retrieving our bags in hopes that I could get my head back on track. Damn. I hadn’t been with a woman since the night I’d seen Gwen in the closet at Alex’s house. I’d practically lost all desire after that. That was until I was living with her every day. Since then, my desire seemed to grow exponentially, but only for her. Something had to give. If I didn’t find release soon, even by my own hand, I wasn’t going to be able to control myself enough to be in the same house with her. I was completely beside myself. Cursing my lack of control, I grabbed the bags from the car and headed back inside. Locking the front door behind me, I went to put her things in the room she’d chosen, but got sidetracked by the stereo downstairs. Setting everything near the hall, I hurried through the house to the stairs and quietly descended. The sight that greeted me was like a punch to the gut. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to resist this beautiful woman. She had found my mother’s old stereo that I’d kept hidden and covered with a sheet. Beside it sat the old box of cassette tapes she had collected. It was the only thing my father had kept of hers. So,

naturally, when he died, they were the only items I took with me. Nothing else matter but having a piece of her in my life. Standing here watching Gwen, I was floored with the realization that I couldn’t live without her now. The soundtrack from The Sound of Music was blaring out of the old ratty speakers and dust was flying throughout the air, but the woman who was spinning around with her arms out wide and head tipped back stole my attention from everything else this crazy world offered. There were no words to define her. She was happiness and goodness, beauty and desire all wrapped up in one tiny, little package. After living in such a dark, bleak world, her light was almost blinding.

Opening my eyes, I came to a stop, surprised by how winded and dizzy I felt. I hadn’t heard that song since I was a little girl. It had been my dream every night when I’d go to bed, not knowing what I’d wake to in the middle of the night or the following morning. I’d always imagined being on top of the mountains, away from all the madness, and spinning and singing the same way Julie Andrews had. Stepping over the cassette tapes I’d set aside during my search, I pushed stop on the old stereo and heard clapping behind me. Gasping at the surprise, even though I knew who it was, I turned around too quickly, tripping over the box on the floor, and falling on my butt. Nick’s laughter was a welcomed respite as he approached me. I’d been worried after he’d left so abruptly. At first, I’d

wanted to blame myself as I usually did. But when I thought about how he’d wanted me with the same intensity as I’d wanted him, the suffering and painful look as he pulled away, I figured he was trying to be respectful of my limits after all I’d been through. I wasn’t sure if my assumptions were correct, but the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together. Knowing he’d need some time to accept that I wanted to move forward with my life in every way possible, I decided to bide my time and wait until he was just as ready as I was. With the decision made, I’d gone downstairs as a distraction, thinking I’d get some ideas of what and where I could paint. The stereo had been like discovering a hidden treasure, the music like finding the gold locked inside. “I was going to ask if you wanted to sing another duet, but I think you’ve performed enough for one day.” He held his hand out, offering to help me stand. “You are incorrigible.” I grudgingly took his hand. In truth, any excuse to be near the man was fine by me. I knew if I looked at it too closely, I might get scared. But for now, I was enjoying the ability to move forward and the blissful feelings growing inside. “And you are purely dangerous.” His smile in place, I almost missed the serious look that passed over his face.

“Dangerous to whom? Me or you?” I asked as he pulled me behind him and up the stairs. “Now there’s a great question!” He paused halfway up the stairs, glancing over his shoulder, and winking at me before continuing on. The short ten or twelve steps ended far too soon as I was just beginning to get lost in the view he presented before me. “So, it’s up to you, I guess.” He paused at the top of the stairs and looked expectantly at me. “What’s up to me?” I hadn’t been paying attention the last few steps. I was completely distracted by the shape and firmness of the body in front of me. Okay, fine, his ass! I was watching his ass! “…if you are.” He finished again, and I had to chuckle at myself. I’d become lost in thought and had missed his question a second time. “Again?” I asked, this time looking a bit embarrassed, but determined to pay attention. “You? Ugh, you’re just too much.” He chuckled and started walking through the living room and to the kitchen. “I asked if you’d like me to order dinner and if so, what you’d like to eat. But since someone’s a bit preoccupied...” He paused by the doorway, causing me to run into him. This only made him laugh again and shake his head. “As I was saying, I’m going to order something to

eat. Chinese or Pizza?” “Pizza!” I blurted out, making sure he knew I was listening this time. “I’ll call it in. Then I’m gonna set things up on the monitoring system so I can see the cabin from my phone. After that, I’ll have to go to work.” His fun, lighthearted nature disappeared. We were back to the seriousness of life and the threat that someone seemed insistent on providing us. “Okay. I’ll go put my things away and take a shower.” I didn’t wait for him to respond. Truthfully, I needed more than thirty seconds to change emotions. Everything was so sharp and overwhelming, the feelings and thoughts I had were so intense and new. It took time to replay them over and over again in my mind before I felt like I was in control and ready to move on. I grabbed my bag and took it into the room I’d picked out. There was a daybed and a small dresser inside. Nothing else. It was plain and simple. Somewhat like myself. But it had potential. And for once, I planned to take Nick up on his offer and completely transform this room.

The next few days were extremely uneventful. Nick went to work around eight each night. Often not returning until nine or ten the next morning. I

didn’t know exactly what he did for work, but from the little references he’d give or the snippets I’d overhear, I was certain that it wasn’t anything good. I only wondered why someone as caring and good hearted as he was would choose to stay in a job like that. He said he wanted to move on and start over. Why didn’t he just do it? The long hours meant he was increasingly more exhausted when he came home every morning. Usually showering and foregoing food altogether, before falling into bed. But regardless of whatever stress or difficulties he was dealing with at work, every evening when he’d wake up, he asked what I’d need and take me to the store before he left for work. He said I could go myself as soon as this mystery person was found, but for now, he didn’t want me out alone. I completely agreed. I may have been handling things far better than some people would, but going through it a second time, or god-forbid, something worse, I doubted I could find my way back from that. I gladly accepted his escort and actually looked forward to it each day. By the time he was awake and moving, I was bouncing up and down, eager to enjoy the couple of hours we had together each night. Although we hadn’t discussed our mutual attraction or the few moments we’d shared, we hadn’t done anything more than flirting or a brief

hug before he’d go to work. It wasn’t for lack of desire. I often found him looking at me with the same burning intensity that I watched him with when he wasn’t looking. After many nights considering the idea, I came to the conclusion that between work, the threat at the cabin, and his respect for me, he must’ve been completely overwhelmed. As much as I wanted to pursue the subject, I found just as much peace in knowing he cared enough to wait. Besides, I was enjoying our time together so much, I didn’t want to do anything that might ruin it in any way. Tonight had been no different than the others since we’d moved here. I had already stocked the house full of food, bought new art supplies, and purchased a few new books, but he’d insisted on taking me out for more. We’d gone to multiple stores before he’d left for work and picked up the supplies that I needed to paint a mural on the bedroom wall, as well a: a rug, matching drapes, sheets, a bed spread, and new pillows. The man had absolutely no control when shopping. I continually said no, and he repeatedly put things into the cart until I picked out what I liked. It was fun, but I hated spending his hard earned money. When he jokingly told me that it was money he stole from Alex, I had no problem at all throwing items into the cart. Using the new phone he’d given me yesterday,

I slowly typed out a message to him and hit send. I just spilled paint on your motorcycle. I’ll try to get it off. Sorry. It only took a minute before he replied. Vry funny. I knw u didn’t go in garag. 2 many spidrs 4 u. lol I was still trying to get the hang of the texting lingo. Although I’d had a phone during college, I’d barely used it. Being antisocial and living alone, I really had no reason to unless I was calling home, and that almost never happened. Haha. I must agree. No garage for me. Good. OMW to job site. txt l8r. I didn’t respond. Instead, throwing the phone on top of my bed and excitedly getting to work on sketching my design on the wall. It was the first time that I’d had a canvas bigger than a piece of paper. The possibilities were endless, but I’d chosen a pastel garden scene with a small creek, wooden bridge, and cherry blossom trees cascading all around. The curtains were sheer black with tiny pink blossoms embroidered everywhere, matching the bedding and rug we bought, and now, the mural too. It was a dream come true. I had had my own room during college, but never any money to decorate with. Heck, I was lucky to replace the air mattress that had broken after my junior year with a normal twin mattress. It didn’t matter to me that it

laid directly on the floor. It was clean and nobody had used it before me. That had brought me extreme happiness. But this? This was amazing. Not only did I have a real bed, a dresser, and all the decorative items with it, but he was allowing me to do anything I wanted and make it my own. I still had the fleeting thought that I might lose it any day, but I was far too pleased to allow myself to consider that option for more than a few seconds. I was determined to enjoy it for as long as possible. Besides, nobody knew if they would live or die the next day. My life was no different. Even if my reasoning was different, I had learned to enjoy each moment and never take anything for granted. After throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I continued lightly sketching the design on the wall. Hopefully, I’d have it completely finished by the time Nick returned home.

It took an extreme amount of effort not to shoot each of these bumbling assholes. They were fucking idiots and frankly, I was growing tired of being the one to train them. The only good purpose they served was clean up on a night like tonight. We’d found our man, hiding inside a lively go-go bar downtown. After a quick pursuit, we ended up with two dead bodies, but neither were him. Somewhere between the bar and the alley exit, he’d gotten away. It wasn’t going to be anything Boss wanted to hear. But on the bright side, I now had a general vicinity of where to look. Unfortunately, that meant I wasn’t going home anytime soon. If necessary, I’d be out here for the next twenty-four hours. Time mattered when you were tracking someone. Especially after a confirmed sighting. After weeks of trying to fish him out of his hiding

spots, I refused to give up this lead. My hope was that after this job and one more were finished, Boss would clear out our agreement and I’d be free to take Gwen away from here. Sitting on the overturned garbage can, I waited for the newbies to clean up the scene. You’d think with the gun shots and noise they were making someone would’ve called the cops by now. But sadly, in this part of town, these were just common every day sounds. It was no different than hearing a car blow its horn or an ambulance’s siren whizzing by. Shaking my head at the filth and decay, I pulled my phone out to text Gwen and check the security cameras at the cabin. Dn’t knw wen I’ll b hom. Mite b wrkng all day. Sry. Closing the text, I opened the app for the cameras and found what I expected. Whoever had been there had left a package on the steps outside the front door. Although there had been no activity for the past few days, I knew it was only a matter of time until they returned. As much as I wished I could make the drive and see what was inside, I was more anxious to see who this fucker was. With a few clicks, I had gone back in time, reversing the recording to three hours before and began watching it in fast forward. It didn’t take long. Pressing play to bring the speed to normal, the image wasn’t the best on a phone, but I was still able to see most of

what the four divided screens portrayed as they each came to life. First, the camera near the driveway picked up someone walking down the road. I suppose it was smart not to drive a car, especially since it was a dead end. The second camera was positioned high in a tree and showed an image from up above as the mystery person cut through the yard, threw something that looked like an empty beer bottle across the lawn, and continued toward the cabin. Whoever it was seemed to be taking their time, enjoying the cat and mouse game they were providing. As he slowly made his way closer, the security light from the storage shed turned on, illuminating him from behind. It didn’t seem to faze him at all. He continued on his way, his purpose driving him forward. I tried to make out more details, but our perp seemed to be prepared, dressed all in black, including a hoodie. Finally, when he reached the front steps, the fourth camera was pointed directly at him. He kept his face down, his body guarded as he leaned forward and pulled a small box about the size of his hand out of his sweatshirt pocket. After placing it on the top step, the person stood up straight, looked around, and suddenly cocked his head as if he realized there was a camera there. With agonizingly slow motions, he looked directly at the camera, raised his hand, and gave a salute.

Just before turning away, he turned the salute into a middle finger and walked away with it high in the air. “Motherfucker!” I wanted to throw the phone, smash it to pieces out of anger. The person’s face had been covered with some type of bandana or ski mask. With everything in black, his clothing, shoes, and mask, the only thing that I could make out were his eyes. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to zoom in sufficiently using my phone. Frustrated and furious that I had to deal with this other asshole on the loose, I shoved my phone into my pants pocket and hurried back to my car. The little newbies could deal with the bodies on their own. I was going to find the missing fuckwad and then drive out to the cabin to see what type of gift this asshole had left me.

I’d been driving around for hours, pounding on doors, talking to every prostitute and John I found on the streets. Hell, I probably paid the drug dealers more for leads than they normally made in an entire night with drugs and sex. Yet, nothing seemed to materialize. Wherever he had gone, he was lying low for the time being. Looking at my watch, I realized it was almost noon. I’d been out here working the streets for nearly fifteen hours. Sometimes I didn’t know who

was worse. The prostitutes or me. Disgusted with the outcome, I decided to head out to the cabin and retrieve the box. It would be almost an hour drive there and another hour back. Depending on what I found, that meant I wouldn’t be home until well after two in the afternoon. I’d have to shower, grab a couple hours of sleep, and head back out earlier than normal in hopes that I could catch up with this ass. Damn it! Pulling my phone from my pocket, I swiped my finger across the screen and found my first and only smile of the day. Gwen had sent me a couple texts, one of them containing a photo of what she’d accomplished before going to sleep. Opening the attachment, it showed her pencil drawing on the wall and the beginning of her painting each of the flowers with the beautiful red and pink paints we’d picked out yesterday. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was going to be, but I knew it would be amazing. Closing the photo, I opened the messages to find she had sent a quick “okay” and a “goodnight, be safe” text before going to sleep. I felt awful for not checking my phone sooner. I knew she’d been up all night, most likely waiting for me to come home before going to sleep. But I’d been so dead set on finding the missing man and finishing this job that I’d pushed all other thoughts aside. Quickly typing a text that she’d see when she woke up, I

told her that I’d be home in a few hours and not to worry about making any food. With that done, I closed the phone and put the car in gear. I had absolutely no idea what to expect when I got to the cabin, but this wasn’t good. Whoever it was, was fully aware of the cameras. Had they watched me install them from a distance? Did they know me well enough to expect that from me in response? Maybe it was just a random stranger who had seen us out and about, following us back to the cabin without my notice. Nah, I doubted that. Especially after the items they’d left behind last time. It had to be someone I knew, someone who had a grudge against me and wanted Gwen as way of payback. The only question was, who?

Driving down the highway, I was reminded of our musical duet when one of her favorite songs came on the radio. It was good timing, too. My eyes had begun to droop, and I was fighting against falling asleep with every mile. Turning the volume up, I did something I never would admit to anyone else. I sang along with the boy band, smiling and laughing at how true the words were. “What Makes You Beautiful” could’ve been written specifically for Gwen. She had no clue how devastatingly gorgeous she was. When the chorus came, I sang as

if she were sitting beside me, wishing she understood how amazing I thought she was. Just as it finished, I was pulling off the highway and onto the gravel road that would lead to the cabin. With a deep, cleansing breath, I pushed away any thoughts of Gwen and focused on what lay before me. Slowly approaching the house, I walked the same path that the person had taken last night. His footprints were still visible in the long green grass, and I matched each one identically. With each step I took, I scanned the trees, the bushes, anything I could see, wondering if he too had placed cameras out there or if he may be watching now. Unable to find anything, I continued on until I stood at the base of the steps, staring at the small white box that sat crooked on the top step. I didn’t expect a bomb or anything that might explode. No, whoever was doing this was far more into the game it provided and not quickly ending their competitor’s life. I was hesitant, yet eager. Whatever lay hidden inside the box would bring me one step closer to ending this. At the same time, I intuitively knew that this would be far worse than the last few times I’d been given any clues. With my heart racing and my stomach in knots, I reached forward and picked the box up. It was roughly six inches by six inches, taped only on one side, and far lighter than I’d expected. With a flick of my thumbnail, I broke the small adhesive closure

and ripped the top open. “Fuck!” I breathed, unable to believe what I held in my hand. It was worse than I’d imagined. Reaching inside the box, my hands shook with an intensity I’d never known before. I pulled out three pictures and dropped the box to the ground as I turned to hurry back to the car. Flipping through each of them, I thought I felt my heart literally stop and refuse to beat. The bastard had left me pictures of Gwen. She was wearing a long T-shirt and nothing else. Her arms were raised and her concentration completely focused on painting the wall in her new bedroom. The final picture was of her looking directly at the camera, completely unaware that someone was watching her every move. Jerking the car door open, I started the ignition and put it in gear, flinging rocks and dust up behind me as I raced down the road. I had no idea how this person knew where we were or how they were able to find a way around the blinds to take a picture. But when I found out, they would see a completely different side of me that nobody had ever seen. Gone was the quick deliverer of justice. I would make them pay for involving Gwen in this sickening game they’d created. Just the thought of her put me on the edge of hysteria. What if he’d gone inside already? He

knew far more than I expected. He possibly knew where I was at this moment and knew he could get in and out before I returned. The sheer terror that raced through my blood was something I’d never felt before in my life. Something I had no idea how to deal with. Frantically wrestling with my seatbelt and then my unyielding pants pocket, I yanked my phone out and immediately tried to call her. Repeatedly it went directly to voicemail. Each time, my panic and fear grew, overtaking any common sense I once had. Pressing the gas pedal to the floor, I reached speeds of nearly a hundred, forcing cars out of my way and completely disregarding every traffic law there was. I couldn’t believe that I was failing her once again. Maybe I truly was the bastard my father always said I was. The no good bastard who couldn’t do anything right and deserved nothing good in this life. I certainly didn’t deserve someone as sweet and pure as she was. I couldn’t even do right by her for a few months.

Something had woken me from a deep sleep. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was nearly three in the afternoon. Assuming it was Nick coming home as he’d said, I laid back down. A few minutes later, a scratching sound grabbed my attention and pulled me from my sleep again. I’d only been in bed for a few hours. I’d been anxiously waiting for Nick to come home so I could show him my progress, but when he’d sent his text saying he’d be late, I’d decided to go to sleep and show him when I woke up instead. My body hadn’t fully accepted the change in schedule, fatigue often overtaking me by the time the sun rose each morning. Knowing I’d waited an extra six hours or so to go to bed, I was amazed that anything could break through my slumber and stop my sleep. Whatever the sound was, it was growing louder and more frequent.

Deciding that sleep wasn’t possible as long as the noise continued, I stood from the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans that I’d thrown on my dresser. When I heard the sound of a loud cry, I finished buttoning and zipping them as I rushed out of my bedroom and down the hall, quickly glancing in each direction until I found where the cry had come from. Coming to a stop in the living room doorway, a small white dog was frantically pawing and scratching the sliding glass door. His incessant whining increasing when he saw me staring through the glass. Releasing the breath I’d been holding out of fear, I smiled at the tiny creature. He looked dirty and unkempt, his eyes sad and lonely. When he started licking the glass, I worried that he might be hungry. My heart broke for him, knowing all too well how an empty stomach could feel. Without thinking, I hurried to let him in. With a quick release of the security system, I unlocked the one single door like Nick had shown me how then removed the long pole that was kept in place to prevent it from sliding open. The entire time, the dog continued to whine, wag his tail, and lick the glass. He must’ve been starving for both attention and food. Pulling the door to the side, it slid open without hesitation, and I was immediately overwhelmed by the retched smell that wafted up from the now

jumping puppy. I felt so sorry for him and decided a bath, some food, and a few good hugs were just what he needed. “Shh, it’s okay little guy,” I said gently as I tried to calm him enough to pick him up. The last thing I wanted to do was let him run through the house and rub that odor on all of Nick’s furniture. “Come here.” I bent to pick him up, realizing my mistake too late. With my head protruding out of the house, I caught the flash of someone raising their hand a moment before something hard connected with the back of my head. Blackness overtook my vision as my body careened forward. The last thing I felt or heard was the lapping tongue of a dirty dog kissing my face and an evil, taunting laugh beside me.

Someone was pounding a jackhammer into my head. My body seemed to be shaking uncontrollably. And I knew I was going to vomit any minute. Opening my eyes, I searched my surroundings, unable to comprehend why I was no longer in my bed. The pain seemed to ricochet throughout my body, exploding behind my eyes, and radiating to the back of my head. Focusing on the small bucket in the far corner, the memory of the little dog and someone outside slowly came back to me. I’d been stupid. So so

stupid. Wanting to help the dog without a care for my safety. Even though I was fully aware someone had been watching me. Grabbing my stomach, I tried to lurch across the room to the bucket, but found I was held back by chains and cuffs attached to my ankles. Glancing down, I realized my clothes had been ripped apart and barely covered my body, but thankfully my underwear appeared to be intact. A sudden chill from the ice cold hardness that extended along the length of my body made me realize that I was sitting on a concrete floor. Unable to move around, I laid back down, catching sight of two small windows near the ceiling on the opposite side of the room. I must’ve been taken into a basement, but where? And more importantly, why? Closing my eyes, I tried taking long, deep breaths to calm my stomach and ease the pain. It did little good, but I knew I couldn’t panic. Not if I wanted to make it out of here alive. With my shirt providing a tiny barrier between the frigid floor and my skin, I refused to think about the discomfort and focused on my breathing. Ten minutes of practicing my relaxation and meditation breathing skills, and I felt slightly better. I’d just decided to try sitting up again, and was taking better inventory of my surroundings when I heard the unmistakable sound of whistling. Only one person whistled like that. One very evil, very cruel, sick person. James.

Yanking the front door open, I paid no attention to the security system until the alarm started blaring all around me. Racing back to the panel beside the door, I pounded the code in and turned to find a fluffy ball of fur and dirt wagging its tail at me. Taking a few tentative steps toward him, he grew more and more excited, and much more rancid. Whatever he’d rolled in had been dead and rotting for some time. “Gwen?” I called out, slightly relieved to see that she’d brought a dog inside to keep her company. On the heels of that thought came the realization that she’d have had to open the door and possibly go outside to get it. She would’ve been unprotected and alone if she had.

“Gwen!” I yelled, bolting toward the hall only to come to a dead stop when I saw the sliding glass door wide open in the living room. I practically leaped across the room, quickly noticing she’d released the alarm on this door and opened it herself. The protective bar lay beside the glass door where she’d left it. Looking closer, I noticed the few drops of blood that had already begun to dry just outside the door on the patio. Bending down closer, I took in the spray of the blood, the angle from which it seemed to fall, and knew without a doubt she’d been hit over the head. The fucking dog had probably been used to lure her out into the open. Cursing repeatedly, I stepped outside and looked around in every direction. Everything was in the right place, everything seemed absolutely normal. I knew she wasn’t here. He’d made sure he’d timed it precisely so I’d miss the entire thing. But I couldn’t help myself as I rushed inside and checked every room, every closet, and cabinet, just in case. I was like a madman in search of his misplaced life. I’d failed her one too many times, but I would be damned if I failed her again. Somehow, I would find her and put an end to this, taking her far away from here.

It had been over forty-eight hours since I’d

slept. My body was beyond exhausted, but my heart refused to give up. I’d searched every inch of the house for clues. Everything from the garage to the yard, to my neighbors whom had been carefully examined and questioned. Still, I found myself completely empty handed. I had nothing. Not even a smudge or piece of lint left behind. Gwen’s phone was still plugged in beside her bed. It had been turned off so I assumed it had died before she’d charged it. Grabbing it, I put it in my pocket for absolutely no reason at all, except to feel her close to me. Just as I was turning to leave the room, I caught sight of the picture she’d begun painting on the wall. It was absolutely beautiful. Just like her. And it broke my heart. The thought made me furious, reminding me that someone had stood outside the windows and used the tiny holes and small space where two blinds had not closed completely to spy on her. With fire racing through my veins, I hurried out of the room and out to my car. After a quick call to Boss, informing him I was off duty for the night and would call tomorrow, I hung up before he could respond and started the ignition. I had no idea where to look for her. The only idea I had was to go back to the beginning, the place where I’d first seen her, and start from scratch.

“Please. Please don’t!” I cried out but knew it was useless. James had gone from disgusting and cruel to completely insane. “Fuck you, bitch! You bit me and head butted me. What the hell did you think I was gonna do in return?” He pulled the ropes that were tied to my hands as tightly as possible, making sure each arm was securely fastened to the large, metal bolts protruding from the wall. Next, he yanked the chain attached to my right leg, stretching my legs apart, and fastening the lock on the end to an even larger bolt that was sticking up out of the floor. “What is this place?” I asked, unable to keep myself quiet. I already knew the answer, but I’d forgotten how to be the quiet, obedient girl I was the last time he’d seen me.

“It’s just my little play place, kitten.” He smiled up at me just before he jerked my other leg so that I was spread eagle, barely able to hold my weight up without hanging from my arms. With a clank and a click, he locked that chain in place as well before standing up and admiring his evil handiwork. “Ah, perfect.” “Spfft!” I spat at him, unfortunately missing by a few feet. “You will learn respect once again. He’s ruined you, but don’t worry, we have all the time in the world. You will be the obedient whore you once were before I’m done with you.” He chuckled, grabbing a long black bandana from his back pocket. “We definitely can’t have any more spitting or biting, though.” With a couple of steps, he was leaning against my body, the torn clothing allowing my skin to feel his bare chest press against me. “No!” I thrashed and tried to prevent him, but with my hands and legs spread apart and no leverage, the only thing I could do was swing my head forward and back. When the back of my head collided with the cement wall behind me, the crack echoing across the room, I felt the rush of pain return and knew it was pointless. I’d only hurt myself more or provoke James to behave even worse. Closing my eyes, I let him finish tying the

bandana around my head, allowing my body to sag before him. His hands were rough as he tightened the cloth and made certain my mouth was completely out of commission. I felt the tears begin to fall. The horror from countless memories merging with the realization of my current predicament were more than I could bear. And I gave in to it all, weeping uncontrollably as he stood there staring at me as if he were studying a specimen at the zoo. “There. Just let it all out. Get rid of all that attitude and rebellion so we can get on to better… more enjoyable things.” His finger slid across my jawline, down my neck, following my breastbone to my breasts. My shirt had long ago been ripped down the front with only the bottom half still intact. Using both his hands, he spread the two pieces of fabric wide open and held my breasts in his hands. “You’re just so perfect. Did you think I would let you go so easily?” I refused to open my eyes or acknowledge him in any way. “I asked you a question, kitten.” I felt the sudden pressure of his fingers pinching my nipples, the pressure gradually increasing until I wanted to cry out in pain. Yet I refused to acknowledge him. “You will learn to respect me!” he growled,

pulling my nipples and elongating my breasts. The action surprised me, and I opened my eyes just in time to see his face rushing forward and his mouth attaching to the inside of my right breast. It only took a second to figure out what he was doing, the searing pain followed by a rapid suction told me he’d bit my breast, puncturing the skin, and was now drinking my blood. He was sick. Demented. I knew I couldn’t win against him, but I refused to give up. Ignoring the pain he was causing, I closed my eyes once again, searching my mind for a safe place, a happy place where I could escape to. It wasn’t hard to find. Nick’s arms eagerly embraced me, his hands gently caressing my back and telling me everything would be okay. Even if it was only in my mind, it was enough to take the edge off the physical pain and block out the emotional misery.

James had left nearly an hour ago. Well, it felt like an hour. I had no way of telling time. I was back in a world I’d thought I’d left behind. Living each minute in hopes that I’d survive. The only light came from a long fluorescent bulb that hung from wire hangers along the ceiling. Half of it flickered and the other half was dead. The two windows on the far wall seemed to be cloaked in darkness, either signifying night had fallen or the

sun wasn’t shining on that side of the house. I could tell I was in a basement from the open rafters above my head and the concrete that surrounded me on the three remaining sides. It reeked of mold and sewage but appeared completely empty other than a dirty mattress flung in the corner nearest me, a laundry sink on the far wall, and a bucket sitting directly beside it. Of course, I was now a fastened fixture on the wall as well. Before he’d left, I’d done all I could to stay in the safety of my dreams. After realizing I wasn’t going to budge, James had ripped my shirt the rest of the way, leaving the two pieces to fall open along my sides. He’d then tried to rip my jeans but only succeeded in making himself angrier when he couldn’t get the zipper apart. Pulling out a switch blade, he’d told me to be still as he slashed them down the front. When he realized he’d gone too far and I was bleeding, his demeanor worsened into a possessed, demon-like monster as he yelled and scolded me for disobeying him and ruining my perfect skin. Dipping my head now, I noticed that the blood had dried up and a long, thick scab was all that remained. Only the tip must’ve met my skin since I didn’t feel any internal pain. I’d always bled profusely. Even if it were a tiny scratch. So, I wasn’t surprised he’d been so shocked by the amount that had poured out of me. Straining my

head further, I felt my arms pull as I looked down to see each pant leg and half of my underwear lying around my ankles. For all intents, I was completely naked, spread wide open against a hard, cold cement wall. My legs had begun aching, and my arms were beyond numb. Worst of all, now that he was gone, I couldn’t stop replaying the entire scene over and over again in my mind. If I ever got free of here, I doubted bleach would be able to remove the dirt and filth he’d emotionally infused my body with. With a deep sigh, I started looking around again, determined to find any clues, any possible escape routes if I could get free. With little to go on, I focused my attention on the bolts that held my arms in place and started pulling and yanking with all my might in hopes that I’d somehow loosen them enough to get my hands free.

I’d gone through Alex’s house three times. He’d long ago moved into the warehouse to be closer to Boss and completely fulfill his puppet dreams. The windows here had been boarded up, the door barely locked, and most of the furniture removed. The only clue I found was a bunch of phone numbers he’d written on the wall next to the kitchen phone. Who used a house phone anymore anyhow? Didn’t most people have cell phones? I know he did. I’d called him on it. Yet, I saved each number I’d found in order to do a reverse check and hunt them down once I was at home. For now, I was sitting in the closet. Gwen’s closet. The one where I’d first seen her nearly two months ago. All that remained were a few blood stains on the floor and a series of scratches in sets of five that were carved in the wall. I had counted

them twice, learning more than I wanted to know. They added up to one hundred and ninety three. It must have been how Gwen had kept track of the days. I didn’t think it was possible to feel worse than I already did, but knowing how long she’d lived like that was beyond comprehension. I couldn’t imagine being trapped in there for a single day, yet she had been there for more than six months. It was my way of punishing myself, reminding myself of how I’d failed her again. Nobody deserved to go through what she had. And certainly, nobody deserved to go through something like that, or worse, twice. Realizing I was getting nowhere, I gave up my reminiscent, self-pity session, and pushed myself to stand. Unable to hold back any longer, I punched the wall, grabbed the door that had locked her in, and ripped it off the hinges. With a quick toss, I flung it across the living room, ignoring the shattering of glass when it hit the windows. “Fuck you!” I yelled, wishing whoever had taken her could hear me. I wanted to burn the entire house to the ground, but knew it would do no good. Instead, I took my sorry ass out to my car and went home to do the only thing left that I could: searching the internet. If that didn’t pay off, I’d be paying every

person in the crew a visit tonight, face to face.

I’d narrowed the numbers down to three fast food joints, a John for prostitutes, and three of the guys in the crew. I wanted to call each of them and ask what they knew, but thankfully I had found my missing self-control. While waiting until I had the proper equipment to trace where the phone was located, I continued searching anything I could find on the internet about them, their families, and their long list of convictions. I wasn’t sure how far I’d have to go in order to bring Gwen home, but nothing was beyond my consideration. I would do whatever it took to make sure she had a chance to smile once again. After finishing with the computer, I took a quick ride to a fellow crewmember’s house. Brody was like me, living away from the warehouse and drama, trying to focus on his family and live a mostly legal life. I respected that about him, but it didn’t mean I trusted him. At this point, I didn’t have many options, and he had the supplies that I needed. So, taking the risk, I’d made the trip and was back home within the hour. Installing the necessary computer tracking software wasn’t my strong suit. But I was determined to take the bastard who had Gwen by surprise. Brody had had a hundred questions and insisted on helping me set

it up, but I didn’t let anyone near my computer. Knowing this involved someone I cared deeply about, I wouldn’t take that risk. It may take me twice as long, but I would make it work. Another hour later, I finished installing the final program to make the device work. The first test call would be to the Pizza Palace. I hem-hawed and asked what the specials were, timing the call to see how long it took to get a location, and then making sure that it was accurate. With a positive confirmation, I cancelled my order and moved on to the Chicken King. This time it was much quicker and more proficient. I knew what I was doing now and swiftly completed the second successful test. I was ready to move on to the crew members that Alex had written down phone numbers for. Choosing the least suspicious member, I decided to see how well it worked for a cell phone’s location. I knew I’d only get a general vicinity based on which tower had picked up and delivered the call, but it was more than I currently had to go on. I would take what I could get. After finishing a five minute conversation with Marcus, who was currently in Florida on vacation, I crossed him off my list and prepared to call the final two numbers. Neither number matched the numbers I had programmed in my phone for the two men. Which meant they had burner cells they regularly put to use. I wasn’t surprised. In this

business, it’d be stupid not to. But knowing that didn’t make things easier. It would only make finding her more difficult if neither of these calls paid off. Fifteen minutes later, and thanking God for granting one of my prayers, I had the general location for both men. Not surprising, they were both near the same tower on the east side of town. Most likely together in my opinion. Now, I had to decide if I should drive around the gridded area I’d outlined for that tower and try to find the vehicles I knew these two assholes drove, or if I should risk it and get some specific locations from Boss. Time was of the essence, especially considering Gwen’s life could be at risk. But I wasn’t sure how much to trust any of them. Certainly not the man who wanted me tied to his organization and serving endlessly.

“Whiy ewe ooing is?” I tried to ask him for the hundredth time, begging to know why he was doing this to me. Not only did the gag prevent any coherent words from forming, but it only made him laugh every time I spoke. “Let’s just say, I owe someone a little payback before you and I get to have some fun.” He chuckled as he finished setting up a foldable dinner tray across from me and placed a cell phone on top of it. Realizing it wouldn’t stand up by itself, he pulled a small box out of his pocket and leaned the phone against it. This time, he clapped his hands together in anticipation when it stayed in the correct position. “If I take the gag off, do you think you could behave yourself?” He was smiling, knowing all too

well it was too soon to take it off and that I’d most likely try biting, spitting, screaming, or anything I possibly could do. “I mean, I wouldn’t want little Nicky to be in tears when he gets the video. Would you?” I gasped, finally understanding this madman’s intentions. This wasn’t just about me. In James’ mind, Nick had taken me from him. It was payback, as well as his ultimate prize. Shaking my head, I forced the tears back, fighting to look strong for anything this demented man decided to send to Nick. “Good girl. I knew you’d see it my way.” He carelessly ripped the bandana off over my head while I fought to ignore the hair he pulled or the way the fabric yanked my nose out of place. The relief was immediate. I could finally swallow and close my mouth properly. My jaw hurt, but it felt good to be able to open and close it with nothing in the way. If only he’d do the same for my arms and legs which were cramping painfully. James paid no attention to me, excitedly hurrying back to the tray to press a few buttons on the phone. With almost childlike glee, he slowly approached me, making it obvious he was eyeing my body up and down. Coming to stand beside me, he reached out and repeated the same actions he’d done earlier. He forcefully kneaded my tender

breasts, ignoring my pain and discomfort as his fingers twisted and pulled my nipples as if they weren’t attached to my body. I had no idea he’d started the video until he adjusted his stance and made certain the camera could see everything. Knowing that Nick would be watching this, I completely forgot about the pain and was overcome with emotion. “So, Nicky, I have something of yours.” I kept my eyes trained on the camera, imagining Nick’s beautiful green eyes overflowing with strength and compassion. “Or should I say, something you stole from me?” James reached up and grabbed the back of my neck, his fingers forcefully digging into my skin. His other hand slowly traversed my body, beginning with a mock strangulation hold before gliding lower and pausing in the valley between my breasts. “That fat fuck was nothing. Alex was going to give her to me. He owed me. And you came along and screwed it all up.” His fingers angrily pinched a nipple, yanking forward as he turned his head to look in the camera. “But no worries, I quite enjoyed our game. Even if it was a little short-lived. I grew too impatient for this.” Shifting his hand to angle my hardened peak toward him, he watched me with a wicked gleam in his eye as his mouth opened to take me in. I knew he was trying to bait me, force me to act out in some way so he could punish me and Nick would see. But I refused to

respond in any way. Ignoring what felt like acid burning, his lips closed around my nipple, biting so hard I knew he’d draw blood. I fought against the tears that pricked the back of my eyes. I fought against my instincts to cry out and jerk away. I had to stay strong. I owed Nick that much. The only thing he’d ever done was try to help me. I didn’t want him worried about me any more than I knew he already was. “And this body.” He removed his mouth, and saliva dripped down his chin—a hint of red mixed within. Releasing my breast, he glided his sweaty palm lower along my abdomen. I knew where he was headed, my mind flooding with panic at the thought. “I couldn’t wait any longer to have this.” I felt his fingers making their way through the tiny hairs that had grown back and now protected my most private parts. The way he touched and took from my body, as if I were nothing but a dog, made me want to vomit. But I kept my head up, forcing my thoughts on the only man I’d ever truly cared about. With my legs spread wide and clothing removed long ago, James had nothing to prevent his progression and quickly found what he was looking for. “And this”—he forcefully inserted a finger, disregarding the lack of wetness and the painful yelp he forced from my lips—“this sweetness is so worth it.”

I couldn’t help the yelp that passed my lips, or my response as my body defiantly bucked against the wall. The motion forced his digit out, and an angry warning flashed across his face. I came to a complete standstill, completely aware that I’d done exactly what he wanted. Taking advantage of my response, he swung his arm with unexpected speed, smacking me with surprising strength across my face. A loud thwack sounded across the room, reverberating through my ears as I gasped aloud. The sting in my lip and the intense throbbing in my nose took my breath away. You’d think it wouldn’t hurt as bad, considering he didn’t use his fist, but that did little to diminish the pain. Blood quickly followed, dripping profusely from my nose, joining the lip that I knew was now broke open, and trickling off my chin. My head swam in anguish. The pain, both emotional and physical, was far beyond my tolerance level. Spitting the abundance of blood to the side, I closed my eyes, hanging limply from the ropes. I wouldn’t fight any more. I refused to play into James’ sick and twisted games. Adding to the guilt I already felt, I could only imagine how Nick would feel when he saw James’ handiwork. “Enjoy the video. It’ll probably be the last time you see her.” With eyes closed, I listened as he moved away from me. His upbeat whistling began again, denying me even a moment of reprieve with

its sickening soundtrack to my suffering. I wanted to pass out, escape both the pain and James’ presence. But when I heard him shuffling back toward me, I couldn’t help but look. Like watching a train wreck, it was impossible to turn away even when you knew you couldn’t stop it. James had grabbed the camera and was bringing it closer to me, lifting and lowering it to pan up and down my body. “Oh, and, Nick, thanks for taking such good care of her. I was pleasantly surprised to find that her virtue hadn’t been spoiled in any way.” With that, he turned the phone toward him and pushed a button to stop the recording. A huge, sickening smile blossomed across his face as he shoved the device into his pants pocket. “Thank you for behaving, kitten. Or misbehaving, I suppose. Either way, it was perfect. Don’t you think?” “Fuck you!” I growled, immediately feeling the repercussions of pain pummel my head. “Ah, yes, soon enough that’ll come. Get it? Come?” He laughed. “Why are you doing this to us?” I asked in disbelief. I knew there’d never be a good answer. Nothing could explain someone like him. Yet, I had to know what provoked him to hurt me so. With an ugly sneer, his laugh ceased as he

looked at me with unadulterated hatred and anger. The magnitude of his disgust was like nothing I’d ever witnessed before. “He’s no better than I am! Don’t you know what he did? How he came to own you?” His words caught me off guard. I hadn’t expected him to bring Nick up in response. I thought he’d answer with some stupid bullshit like he couldn’t help himself, or I was made for his pleasure. Instead, with only a few words, he’d grabbed my attention as I waited anxiously to hear his reply. Shaking my head, I held my breath and waited for him to finish. “He made a deal with our boss. You know, the one he kills for whenever there’s a contract out on someone?” It was impossible to contain my gasp, even though I was straining to show no emotion whatsoever. “Yeah, didn’t think you knew that little fact.” James shook his head and started pacing back and forth in front of me. “Anyhow, he traded his life for yours pretty much. He continues being the boss’ bitch and you continue being owned by someone. It’s actually quite humorous.” He paused and looked over at me, assessing my current condition, and laughing depreciatingly before continuing. “The guy was about to be granted immunity from the crew’s law. Allowed to leave and start a new life. That’s unheard of! Then two

weeks later, he takes you in and gives it all up.” James huffs in disgust and turns away, suddenly preparing to leave. Just before he was out of sight, he came to a sudden stop and glanced back. “Isn’t that just romantic? That’s why this entire payback is such poetic justice.” With a quickness reappearing in his step, he left the room, laughing the entire way up the stairs. My entire being felt like he’d just taken a blow torch to it. Everything Nick had told me suddenly made sense. Not just the part about not leaving the cabin and staying safe, but about him wanting to start over and all his dreams to move on to a new life. He’d sacrificed it all for me. And here I was, chained to a wall. I’d thrown it all away by being careless. The one video where I could’ve said something, I’d stayed silent. Regardless of James’s words, I knew Nick wasn’t trying to own or control me. He’d given up everything he had worked for in order to give me back as much of my freedom as he possibly could. If anything, Nick was the one being owned by everyone else.

It was almost morning. The sky was starting to lighten with the promise of a new day’s possibilities, but I’d lost the optimistic outlook hours ago. Nothing had gone as I’d hoped. After deciding to do my own search, I couldn’t locate any cars that even resembled the ones I was looking for. Knowing my time was running out, I pushed the gas pedal harder and ignored the endless fatigue that fought against my body. I would do whatever it took to get her back. Even if that meant making more deals with Boss. Flying through lights and speeding down every street, I finally made my way to the warehouse. By this time of day, most of the guys would already have gone to sleep in their rooms there or left to go to their homes. I had no idea if Boss was still awake. He often made sure all the loose ends were

closed out before crashing. I could only hope that he was. It would be even better if I found him without any female companions for once, too. I quickly made my way inside, inserting the code, and nodding to the muscle that guarded the door. The place was just a shell divided into rooms or offices, as the men liked to call them. It served a purpose and nothing else—illegal activities and partying night after night. To me, it was hell on Earth. Plain and simple. Taking the stairs two at a time, I hurried down the hall, the last door on the right my only focus. With a quick knock, I didn’t wait to be asked in. Opening the door, I rushed inside, only to come to a screeching halt. Standing before me was another guard, this one holding a gun aimed directly at my head. Boss was standing behind his desk in an equally intimidating pose with a bigger gun aimed at my body. “What the fuck, Nick?” he called out. “You almost got yourself shot! You know better than that!” With my hands in the air, I hurried to tell him what I had to say before he kicked me out. “I’m sorry. Listen, you remember that girl we traded on? Someone here took her. I need your help.” A slow, sinister grin began to grow, quickly replacing the confused look, and turning into a full

blown smile as he slowly lowered his gun and placed it within sight on the desk. “Is that so?” he asked, fully aware of what needing help from the big man meant. “Leave us, Mike. But don’t go far. I may need your assistance later.” I lowered my arms when the other guy tucked his gun in his waistband. With a nod, he left the room, allowing me to stay and plead my case.

An hour later, I could barely walk from the lack of sleep or food. Not to mention the stressful back and forth bargaining I’d had to make to get a few lousy addresses. I was now minus two houses, Boss gaining those with our agreement. But I couldn’t have cared less. As long as my life could move on and I could get to Gwen in time, I would’ve traded anything. He’d wanted me to agree to another two years of service. In return, he’d send all his men, guns blazing to find the girl. It was tempting, but that would’ve left her in another unsafe environment and me indebted to the devil even longer. After much arguing back and forth, I’d finally found a way to tempt him into giving me what I needed. Greed. I was betting everything that James had something to do with this. The guy was excellent at recon and setting up unexpected ambushes, but his visit the other day proved he wasn’t the brightest

crayon in the box. After the incident at the lake, his sudden appearance was too suspicious. Either he was in on it, or he knew who was. Either way, I was going to find out. May God forgive me for what I would do when I did. Back in my car once again, I turned the radio up and drank the stale coffee I’d grabbed from the convenient store. I should’ve just bought the instant coffee grains and eaten them. They probably would’ve done a better job. But with renewed spirits and a bit of caffeine, my adrenaline was kicking into high gear as I raced through morning traffic to the other side of town. Just as I pulled up to a red light, my phone started ringing, followed by a quick vibration. Grabbing it from the seat beside me, I wondered who it could be at this time of day. Unless it was Boss, I had no clue. Swiping my finger across the screen, I almost dropped the coffee in my other hand. It was the number I’d found and traced back to James. He’d sent a video message. My heart plummeted, my stomach feeling like I was fallen from a thousand stories up. A siren rushing by pulled my attention back to the road before me. Shaking my head, I drove a little farther and pulled the car over, slamming it into park. I feared the worst and braced myself for what the video would reveal. Would I be too late? Would he show her beaten and bruised or sliced apart and dying? The possibilities were endless as

they pummeled my mind. With a shaky hand, I pressed play. Sure enough, it was her. My beautiful angel was tied to a wall, disgraced once again. From the looks of her, James had just begun his sickening and masochistic fun. Gripping the phone with all my might, I swore I could see into her soul. Her eyes were fixed on the camera, unwavering in their intensity. It was like she was looking right at me, fighting to appear strong when it was evident she was anything but. When the video came to an end, I realized I hadn’t really watched anything or listened to a word he’d said. My entire focus was on the woman I’d grown to love and the pain I knew she was suffering because of me. Turning the volume up, I gritted my teeth and listened to his sadistic games as he violently touched someone who deserved nothing less than to be worshipped and treated with reverence. He’d made sure that I could see him hit, violate, and shower her with complete disdain. She’d looked a bit battered at the beginning, her will strong and unwavering. But by the end, she was broken, the endless blood and pain evident for any to see. As soon as the clip finished, I took one last look at her eyes, swore that I’d find her, and threw my phone against the windshield. I’d never known such rage and anger before. I thought I’d been upset many times throughout my life, but nothing had felt quite like this. Putting the

car back in gear, I whipped back into traffic and barreled toward my destination. A red haze flooded my vision, a single-minded purpose urging me on. With every block I passed, I replayed his words, her look, his touch, her blood, and thought I’d go crazy before I got there. I knew it was pointless to pray for my sake; I was going to hell regardless. But for her, I begged and pleaded with God to help me find her in time. A few minutes later, I pulled up in front of an old white cape cod house that looked like it had seen better days—about fifty years ago. Boss had indicated that this was where James usually stayed. It seemed to fit what I knew of the man. The paint was peeling, gutters were hanging off or completely missing, the grass wasn’t cut, windows were cracked, and instead of curtains, blankets covered every window. If I’d had more sense, I would’ve taken the time to park further down and disguise myself, but after watching that video and having it on repeat in my mind during the entire thirtyminute drive, I was beside myself. Grabbing my reserve Glock from the glove compartment, I added it to the one I had in my waistband and exited the car with vengeance the only thing on my mind.

My wrists were beginning to turn purple, the skin starting to chafe. I’d yanked, swung, and tried everything, every twist I could, but nothing made the bolts budge. If my arms weren’t so sore, I would’ve just hung from them and given my legs a break. The cramps continued, growing in intensity and becoming utterly unbearable. If that wasn’t enough, I had to pee. I assumed he wanted me to do my business where I stood, but I already felt ashamed and dirty. Did I need to have the stench of piss running down my leg and surrounding me as well? Considering my lack of options, I decided I had nothing to lose. “I need to go the bathroom!” I yelled, both fearful he’d return and hopeful he’d let me off the hooks to go. “Please?” It was incredibly difficult to hold it in with my legs spread and my clothing

gone. “Please!” I cried out again. My self-respect was diminished, and I was in too much pain to care. If lowering myself to being submissive and begging for anything he gave me was what he wanted, then I was past the point of denying his wishes. “James! Please come help me!” A few minutes later, the sound of footsteps descending the stairs echoed through the room, sending a jolt of fear and relief shooting through my veins. When he came around the corner and into view, I realized he’d been sleeping, his hair a mess and his eyes still sleepy. “Really? You couldn’t just go?” He stood in front of me, looking at me like I was insane. “This does present a challenge. Doesn’t it?” “I swear, I just want to pee,” I begged him, trying to infuse my words with reassurance. “I’ll be good. I promise. I’ll do anything you tell me to.” “Hmm.” He smirked, his evil mind spinning with ideas. “What will you do for me in return?” I may have said the words, but I wasn’t willing to bargain with him. Not in the way he wanted me to. Hadn’t he already degraded me enough for one day? “Whatever you want. Just please take me off the wall. I won’t spit or bite again. I swear!” I fought against the tears threatening to break free, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he was breaking me.

“Fine. I’ll let you down. You can use the bucket for your duties, but your feet stay chained.” He looked at me expectantly. I knew I should thank him, but that went a little too far. I couldn’t get the words out even if I tried. “After you piss, you’ll be on the mattress.” He nodded his head in the direction of the dilapidated piece of bedding. Without any further words, he started whistling and pulled the knife from his pocket to cut the ropes from my arms. First one, then the other fell to my side. Their weight was foreign and painful, my shoulders protesting the sudden change. Reaching up, I crossed my arms and gently rubbed the backs of both of them. Not only did it help some, it provided a small amount of coverage and gave me a piece of my modesty. As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, he grabbed the bucket from the side of the room and brought it to me. Placing it beside me, he took both my wrists in his hand, ignoring the pain he knew it caused and pulled my arms to my sides. “Never cover yourself in my presence. Do you understand?” The smile had been replaced by a sinister warning. I knew better than to defy him at this point. Especially when the bucket was so close and I could barely wait another minute. “Yes,” I answered firmly, showing him I could be trusted.

“Good.” He pulled a key from his pocket and used it to unlock the chains and reposition them so they were locked in place with longer length to move around. “Do your business and be on the mattress when I return.” With that said, he turned and walked away. I listened as his steps rushed up the stairs, and he closed the door. Knowing I was limited on time, I slowly moved my legs together. Inch by inch I brought them back to a normal standing position. My hips screamed in pain, protesting, and fighting to stay as they were. But the relief slowly came as my muscles gradually relaxed and returned to normal. I may have just bargained for something far worse than what he’d already done, but for the few minutes I had to myself, I could be comfortable and somewhat modest. Grabbing the bucket, I completed my business as he’d said, using my hanging underwear to wipe off with. I knew it would remain attached at my feet, but it was better than drip drying or not wiping at all. With a deep sigh, I slowly stretched my body and made my way over to the mattress. My muscles had been so cramped it took time to complete the ten or so steps. But once there, I made my way to the corner and lowered myself into a sitting positioning, pulling my knees up as close to my chest as possible. The action brought back a

plethora of memories and made me realize I’d obeyed James for the first time. I wanted to be angry with myself, argue that I needed to fight back. But I was too exhausted, and the pain wouldn’t subside. I knew the only roads out of here would be a rescue—which was impossible— or for me to do what he said and hope for an opportunity to escape. Minutes later, I jerked upright, realizing I’d fallen to the side, curled up in a ball. My body was demanding I sleep, but the sound of angry yelling could be heard drifting down through the ceiling vents. James was yelling at someone. Was somebody else in the house with us? Did I have a chance at getting their attention? Or were they all like him and Alex, wanting only to please themselves in sick and depraved ways? When his voice quieted to a murmur, I gave up and laid back down. I’d picked the cleanest spot I could find on the beat up old mattress. The corner where the two walls met provided support and a good vantage point so I could see everything in the room around me. All this while avoiding the countless stains that littered the fabric from top to bottom. It wasn’t much, but it was far better than the wall. Releasing a long, sorrowful sigh, I refused to think any more. After trying unsuccessfully to wipe the dried blood off my face, I spit in my hand and

scrubbed as much as I could bear. It was pointless actually. I didn’t know why I bothered. But something about knowing it was there ate away at me, making me feel like a part of him remained with me even when he was gone. Satisfied with the half-assed clean up job, I ignored the throbbing that persisted in my face and returned to the position that had seen me through many hard times. It took some work to convince my muscles to cooperate, but eventually, I was able to pull my knees up tightly against my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. Closing my eyes, I surrendered to the sleep my body so badly needed.

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing in the fucking house. It was completely empty other than beer cans, random drug paraphernalia, and endless garbage from squatters who’d taken it over. I imagined when the sun would set, the place would be jumping with activity. As it was, there currently wasn’t even a spider spinning a web. Slamming the door shut, I glanced around at the surrounding neighborhood. The homes were all built close together, separated only by a narrow concrete drive and a tiny patch of grass. It was a typical old style, city neighborhood that had popped up during the fifties when big factories had moved into the area and begun to develop. Comparing James’ house to the others, none seemed to be in disarray like this. Each had tiny manicured lawns, flowers on porches, and welcome

mats out front. It appeared as though they made the most of their property, decorating with love regardless of how much money they had. The thought of what families lived there shot a pang of sorrow through my heart. Gwen deserved beautiful gardens and hanging flowers. She deserved a life filled with babies and grandchildren. An older man walking out of the house across the street caught my attention, pulling me from my morbid thoughts. He was carrying a white garbage bag that appeared to be filled with clothing or fabric of some type. After pulling the door closed behind him, his head was down, shoulders slumped as he slowly shuffled around to the side of the house and got inside an old white Cadillac. Once he finished backing up and pulling away, my eyes returned to the house, silently wondering what his life was like. Did he have children? Was he married? Did his wife make the sheer curtains that hang in the windows? I had no idea why the onslaught continued. I needed to move on to the next address Boss had given me. But for some unknown reason, my heart felt shattered, the homes and ideas behind them filling me with a deep sorrow and longing for something I may never have. Realizing how much time I’d wasted by standing there and taking inventory of the neighborhood, I kicked a discarded can out of my

way and hurried back to my car to move on to the next address. The disappointment that James wasn’t here quickly morphed into anger as I turned the ignition and started the car. I couldn’t explain why I’d been so certain she’d been in that house or why the neighborhood had seemed to speak to me. It was just a feeling I had. One that hadn’t paid off and ended up wasting precious time. I felt hesitant to leave, even though my mind was already racing toward the next destination. Something wasn’t right. I kept feeling like I was missing some clue. My mind was sluggishly trying to stay on task, my emotions and fatigue beating me down. With every hour that passed, I felt increasingly more hopeless. I knew I needed to sleep. My body had been pushed to the limits. But that wasn’t possible. Reminding myself that Gwen was out there, somewhere alone and in agony, I wanted to kick myself for being so self-centered. I needed to get my mind focused and stop the melancholy bullshit. Closing my door, I began driving and turned the radio up once again, trying to drown out my self-loathing. It was to no avail; the words and tunes only seemed to amplify my incriminations. I knew if nothing came from these next addresses, I’d be screwed, completely helpless to find her. I wouldn’t give up, but I’d be without a home, living out of my fucking car while I continued.

Slamming my hand down against the steering wheel, I cursed for the thousandth time. “Where are you, damn it!?” If only I could find a sign or a billboard pointing me in the right direction.

Loud footsteps were the only warning that he was coming. I had to fight to pry my eyes open, the swelling and dried tears had sealed them closed while I’d slept. With consciousness came another extreme bout of pain that only seemed to increase as he grew closer. Knowing my time alone had come to an end, I stayed in my tucked position as long as possible, and watched the shadows against the wall grow as he walked into the room. “So, your little friend is still looking for you, huh?” I had no idea what he meant unless Nick was trying to find me. I didn’t know if I should answer him, shake my head, or ignore him entirely. His accusation sounded like he was blaming me. Closing my eyes, I wished I could pretend none of

this was real and pretended to be asleep. “I suppose it’s time to move on.” His voice deflated, the sound of his steps disappearing as the mattress dipped and signified he was standing over me. “I was hoping you and I would have more time together. Especially after all the work I put into capturing you.” Without warning, I heard a high-pitched whistling sound flying through the air, followed by the loud slap of what could only be a leather belt connecting with the bare skin along my thigh. My eyes flashed open, confusion and fear warring for supremacy in my mind. The pain stung for a moment then billowed into a firestorm as he swung again and again. “Don’t worry, you can stay here, under the driveway where the rest of the girls are. You won’t be alone.” He laughed manically as he swung the belt, repeatedly hitting me along the length of my body. Scurrying to push myself back into the corner as far as possible, my body trembled at his words and actions. The pain was distracting me from any coherent thoughts. I wasn’t sure if I should beg and plead for my life or let him have what he wanted and finally end it. “Oh, hell no.” He threw the belt to the floor and leaped forward, coming to his hands and knees

in front of me. Grabbing my ankles with each of his hands, he yanked them out from under me and dragged me lengthwise across the mattress. “If he can have you, then so can I.” I saw the determined look in his eyes. The evil incarnate. And I knew that there would be no persuading him otherwise. Only a few weeks ago I’d considered what it would be like to make love to Nick. I wondered if he’d be gentle and help me overcome all my fears. Now, I was back in the grip of a monster who would destroy and steal the only good thing that I had left. I felt the tears threatening to escape as I watched him yank his pants open and frantically begin pulling them down. His fury was like a growing beast. The fabric was only making it worse, refusing to follow his command and continually halting his advance. He was shaking with rabid ferocity. I knew it was pointless to hope that he’d get frustrated and walk away. I’d seen men at their worst before, and this one was far beyond that. One way or another I’d feel his wrath taken out on my body. Turning my head toward the wall, I gave up all hope. With one final sigh, I said goodbye to Nick and all the dreams I’d once had. It was done.

Whipping the car around in the middle of the road, I almost collided with a bicycler and an older lady carrying two grocery bags. Yelling “sorry” even though they couldn’t hear me, I floored the gas pedal and weaved in and out of the same traffic I’d just worked my way through. I knew what was amiss now. I didn’t need to go to the second house after all. The house with all the pretty flowers that I’d been completely enthralled by? The one where the man had walked out of? The same one that had pulled my attention to it, practically begging me to come inside? I was certain that’s where Gwen was. Replaying every detail again and again in my mind while I drove, I’d been brought back to the picture of that house repeatedly. It wasn’t until I

passed a motorcycle that the reason was revealed. The windows in the house had all been covered with white lace or sheer curtains—all but one. The odd window on the side of the home had been covered with a white blanket. It was enough that any passerby wouldn’t have looked twice. But the more I thought about it, I realized what I’d been looking at but hadn’t comprehended. On the backside of the fabric, just slightly visible from where I’d stood, was a Harley Davidson emblem. Turning the corners faster than what was considered safe, I feverishly worked my way down the crowded road, hoping I didn’t hit any parked cars or wayward pedestrians along the way. When I got within sight of the house again, I throttled the car even harder, racing down the road, and driving straight over the curb and into the front yard. I didn’t stop to consider I might be wrong and barging into someone’s sweet abode. I knew in my gut that she was there. Rushing from the car, I didn’t take the time to turn it off or close the door. I was going full speed, running up the steps, and kicking with all my might to open the door. To my surprise, the wood splintered where the deadbolt met the frame. The old wood not strong enough to withstand the sudden pressure, it popped open with almost no protest whatsoever.

“Open your eyes, you little whore!” James screamed, spittle flying across my naked body as he jerked my chin toward him. “You will watch, and you won’t cry. Do you hear me?” Unable to stop myself, I nodded my head, hoping he’d get it over quickly if I did as he said. “And don’t you dare do anything stupid.” He lowered his voice as he climbed on top of me. Little did he know, he’d already won; he’d broken the final pieces that remained of my soul. I wouldn’t be fighting back again. I kept my eyes open but tried not to think about how he felt pawing my body and feverishly rubbing himself . He was having trouble getting ready to complete the final act. Something I wanted to find joy in, but only wished it would end sooner

rather than later. Realizing his hand wasn’t doing the job, he abruptly came to a stop. Unlike Alex, his eyes didn’t change. They remained the same cold, calculating, evil regardless of what he was doing. After a quick change in plans, he anxiously straddled my body, his repulsive sack dragging beneath him as he inched his way higher. With no regard to me whatsoever, he roughly grabbed my breasts, his hips rushing forward to try and slide himself between them. With no lubrication, the friction was unbearable. His skin stuck against mine, painfully jerking and pulling as he thrust back and forth. “Damn it!” he cursed, releasing my breasts, and crawling higher along my body. I didn’t know what his sudden rush was. He’d seemed completely at ease earlier in the day, satisfied to take his time and slowly inflict as much pain as possible. The way he was now feverishly trying to complete this act made me wonder what had changed. “Put your arms at your sides!” he demanded, squeezing my shoulders between his thighs as he positioned himself over my chest. He was practically sitting atop of my breasts. I already felt dirty and useless, past the point of ever being respectable again. But when he took

his member and started rubbing it along my cheeks and mouth, I found there was more he could still rip from my soul. To my horror, his actions only increased as he suddenly began to grow harder. His fury morphed into delight, his evil grin replacing the scowl he’d had only moments before. It made me sick to my stomach, angrier than I’d ever been before. Pursing my lips together, I tried to focus elsewhere, but when he started smacking me with himself, the hard length connecting against my tender facial skin, I couldn’t take it anymore. I did something I knew I shouldn’t. I didn’t think first. I only reacted. Watching him repeat the action, I waited for him to come toward my mouth once again. With a boldness I didn’t know I possessed, I opened at the last second and took him all the way in. Surprised by the sudden surge he felt as the warmth and wetness of my mouth surrounded him, he grew extremely hard and overcame his good sense. With a groan of delight and satisfaction, he started pumping in and out of my mouth. Two more times I allowed him access to my oral ministrations. A third and I was opening as wide as I could, allowing him to find the depth he longed for. With his head flung back, his eyes closed in bliss, I slammed my jaw down, biting with all the force my jaw could manage.

“Ugh!” he cried out, desperately trying to yank backward to remove himself from my grip. The tight hold I retained kept him trapped between my teeth. “You fucking cunt!” His hand gripped my neck and viciously started to squeeze. The response filled me with relief, hoping that maybe he’d finish me off before he could complete this awful act. “You…you, bitch! Let go!” His free hand pulled back and flew toward my face, a fist savagely connecting with my eye. Once, twice, and then the pain was too great for me to withstand and my mouth let go of its hold, releasing his disgusting piece of equipment. Through the pain radiating alongside of my face, I watched him roll to the side, falling off the mattress, and grabbing himself. I couldn’t help the smile that appeared. Nor could I help the tiny chuckle that snuck out. I must have been insane to provoke such a beast, but I hadn’t lost myself after all. I may end up dead and buried here in this damp and dirty basement, but I had fought to the very end. Nobody would ever take who I was away from me again. “You no good…piece of…filthy trash!” He must’ve heard me chuckle, or noticed the smile that refused to fade. Before I could register what he was doing, he was standing on the mattress beside me, his foot rearing back and malevolently colliding with my side. Again and again, I felt the pain.

Crack after crack I heard my ribs pop. But through it all, I smiled. Even as the tears cascaded down my face and he roughly pulled my legs apart and positioned himself between them, I continued to smile. He would never win. He would never crush my spirit again.

Fucking hell. There was blood everywhere. It was sprayed on the wall, pooling on the mattress, and dripped across the floor. In the middle of it all, Gwen laid with tears in her eyes and a small smile forced to her lips. She was looking away from me, her face focused on the wall where her hand tried unsuccessfully to grip the tiny cracks and crevices as the sick bastard stroked himself between her legs. I didn’t know what had happened before I got here, but I knew without a doubt he would never touch her again. “Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Her.” My voice rose along with my gun, but I remained calm. Only ten feet away, I knew I could take him out with a single shot. But I didn’t want Gwen to witness it. Not if she didn’t have to. It would only be one more image to add to her nightmares. She didn’t

need that. James’ head whipped in my direction, panic and surprise flashing across his face. Releasing himself, he reached up and rubbed his mouth, trailing a line of fresh blood along his lips. That’s when I realized she must have bitten his dick. Not only bit it but caused some serious damage. Storing the info away so I could tell her how proud I was of her, I took a step closer. “Move!” I yelled, getting no response from James except an ugly sneer. Gwen, on the other hand, snapped her head to the side, shock and surprise filling her huge eyes. Well, one huge eye, the other was swollen and turning a horrific shade of blue. Seeing that, my calm disappeared, replaced with the rage and anger I’d kept contained during the past few days. Taking another step, I’d planned to grab him and pull him into the other room to finish this once and for all. Instead, he pulled a knife from beside him and thrust it to her throat. Motherfucker! The tip was beginning to puncture the skin, a drop of blood beading on the blade. I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t let him do that to her. Not now. Not after I’d finally found her. Trying to think of a plan and coming up with nothing, I raised my hands in the air, taking my

finger off the trigger, and holding the gun so it was clear to see that it wasn’t in use. Just as I was about to lean forward and set it on the ground, I saw Gwen’s leg twitch and glanced down at her. With a single, almost unperceivable nod, she told me to be ready. A second later, her knee jerked up, her leg extended out, connecting with his manhood. The force sent him tumbling backward, the knife flying out of his hand and across the room. “Kill him!” she ordered, her voice rough and garbled. I had every intention to do so, but not here in front of her. Closing the gap between us, I grabbed the bastard around the neck, holding him with one arm and the gun with the other as I dragged him from the room. I wanted him to suffer just as much as she had. I wanted to chain him to the wall and perform every type of perverse and painful act I could imagine. Unfortunately, I’d left the car in the front yard, parked haphazardly across the lawn and the front door wide open. I expected the neighbors to notice and call the police at any time. That was the last thing I needed. No, this fucker would get his justice when he met Satan himself. “Nick, kill him. Now!” She raised her voice, pleading with me as she struggled to sit up on the mattress.

I paused, momentarily stunned by the fierceness in her command. That’s when I noticed her wince and grab her side in pain. The bastard deserved far more than a bullet to the head. “I am.” I nodded and continued pulling him backward. “Fuck you,” James wheezed out. “I need to know he’s dead!” Gwen cried, her body beginning to tremble, shock setting in. I wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t the first asshole I’d killed, and I had no problems finishing the job. But in front of someone so pure and good, I just couldn’t do it. Pulling his body over to the far side of the room, I found the laundry basin where a washer and dryer normally would be present. Turning my back toward Gwen, I yanked his body up and leaned him over the sink, sticking his head inside. “You fucker,” I growled in his ear. “You deserve far worse than this.” He laughed, wheezing uncontrollably, and laughed again. “She’ll always think of me now.” He coughed. “You’ll never own her like I do.” His words were an accelerant to my already raging fire. Making certain I blocked her view, I squeezed the trigger twice and unloaded the bullets directly into his temple. A second later his body was hanging limp, his words the last he’d ever speak. With an angry growl, I wrapped my arm

around his waist and flung him to the floor. Unable to reign my temper in, I kicked his lifeless body, angrily wishing I could’ve done more. “The key. It’s in his pocket,” Gwen called out, sounding completely in control and not at all alarmed by what had just happened. Grabbing the pants that hung around his knees, I searched his pockets until I found the key she’d directed me to. With it in my hands, I gave him one final kick before hurrying back to her side.

I expected to wake up at any minute and realize this was all a dream. Maybe I was lost in my delusional mind, and James was actually still alive. But the pain was so severe, so intense, I knew this had to be real. “There, that’s the last one.” Nick placed the final piece of tape along my ribs and sat on the side of the bed looking down at me. Grief and remorse filling his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Gwen.” “Please don’t say that again. I think we covered this a hundred times in the car, fifty before my shower, and another hundred after. It’s not your fault.” “I’d rather you blame me than yourself.” He tentatively laid his hand over mine, gently asking if it was okay.

Turning my palm over, I marveled at how it felt to be safe again. “Touché.” He was right, I would blame myself for a long time to come. It would take a while to get past what had happened, but I knew I’d find a way. James may have stolen my dignity, my pride, and even my self-worth, but he couldn’t take away my soul. That was unbreakable. “You hungry?” he asked, grabbing his phone to order out. Truthfully, I didn’t want to eat. I still felt sick to my stomach. But I knew he had to be starving. After leaving James’ house, which took quite a bit of time between getting me loose and helping me out to the car, we’d driven for about seven hours until the pain was more than I could bear. Nick had repeatedly tried to get me to go to the hospital, but I knew I couldn’t risk that. It would only cause the doctors and police to ask endless questions and search for whoever had done this to me. That would only lead them back to who had killed James. I’d never put Nick in jeopardy like that. Not after he’d saved me once again. “I’ll try to eat something little.” He gave me a small smile. It wasn’t the one I had grown to love, but it was enough to feel cherished once again.

6 Months Later “This is perfect!” Gwen was smiling ear to ear as she looked at the deck I’d just built for her. We’d decided to settle down near the Grand Canyon, far away from any haunting memories. Buying a small home that overlooked the Colorado River, we both agreed to take some time and just be us, ignoring the world and enjoying every day together. “I like it,” I agreed, silently laughing to myself because I always felt my work wasn’t good enough and was taking our therapist’s advice to try to be more positive. Coming to stand in front of me, Gwen reached her arms out, embracing my sweaty body. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, lying her cheek against my heart.

“I’m proud of both of us,” I replied, meaning it whole heartedly. A few months ago, Gwen had finally asked me about my past. I didn’t want to share that part of me. I wanted to forget it had ever happened. But after seeing firsthand what she’d gone through, I thought it was only fair that she knew just as much about me as I did her. It was the first time that I had opened up and told someone what had happened when I was a child. Putting it into words had been much more difficult than I’d expected, but she was patient and encouraging as I did my best to explain how my father had been pimping me out in order to get his gambling money, booze money—whatever money he needed. Filthy men didn’t care what my dad did with it. They just wanted the little boy who didn’t fight back. Until one day when I’d had enough. I told the fat fuck of a man no, running into my room, and locking the door. Hugging my dog, my only friend, I’d cried and cried, wishing I had a different dad or that my mother were still alive. The next morning I had gone to school, but when I returned, I found my dog dead, lying on my bed with a bullet through his heart. My father had killed him as punishment for my disobedience. That was the beginning of the end. I may have only been eleven, but extreme rage had built up from the years of abuse. That night, after he passed out from drinking, I grabbed his gun and shot him eleven

times. One for each year that I had lived. Afterward, I dragged his body out to the pig farm behind our house and threw it in the mud. It was gone by the next morning. It was a few weeks later when Boss came by, wanting to collect on a debt from my father. I was just a kid and had no idea that my dad had been in his crew at one time. Boss had figured out what had happened easily enough and claimed that I hadn’t had permission to kill one of his men. I, therefore, owed him a debt that would have to be worked off. I moved into the warehouse that summer and spent the next fifteen years planning for the day when I was free and on my own. Gwen was stronger than anyone I knew. She helped me work through my demons, always listening without judging in any way. But she’d continued to have nightmares of her own, struggling with flashbacks after her incident with James. So, after revealing my darkest secret to her, she’d suggested we both go to counseling together. I thought she was joking at first. Real men didn’t do therapy. But I knew she could use someone to talk to, and she wouldn’t go without me. She may or may not have sweet talked me into it, but eventually, I was happy that she had. It had helped both of us put the past behind us and move forward together. Now we were like an old married couple, sitting and watching the sunset, and going to bed

when the stars appeared. “Come here.” She looked up at me, her huge eyes shining with mischief. Lowering my head, I gently kissed her lips, loving the way she tasted, but never allowing myself to get lost in how she felt. “I love you,” I whispered against her lips, giving her one last kiss before pulling away. “Nick, why?” I knew what she was referring to. She’d asked me multiple times during the past month to make love to her—to erase and replace all the bad memories with good ones. “I’m happy as we are.” When she gave me a questionable look, I continued, “You’ll never know how it felt to see you hurt, bleeding, and helpless. I never want to cause you pain or make you fear me in any way. I’m completely satisfied with what we have.” “What if I’m not?” Looking deeply into her eyes, I realized that she was being sincere. I didn’t have an answer to that. I only knew I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk her. “I’m sorry.”

A few days had passed since the last time I’d brought up the conversation about sex. It seemed to be a hopeless battle, but as always, I wasn’t one to

give up easily. I’d worked very hard with my therapist and on my own to get to a point that I wasn’t afraid to be with Nick. I wanted to eradicate any memories that lingered and make love with the man who had become my entire world and given me the life I’d always dreamed about. Yet, he continued to hold back. Well, tonight I was employing every tool I had to try to convince him otherwise. If this didn’t work, I feared nothing ever would. After laying out in the sun all day, wearing the skimpiest bathing suit I had, I suggested we take a swim after we finished our dinner. The sun was just setting, filling the horizon with hues of orange and purple. With the canyons in the distance and the glow all around, it was absolutely breathtaking. I was floating on my back when he finally decided to join me, jumping in, and making a huge splash as he did so. Laughing at his ridiculous ways, I swam over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist. It felt so good to feel his warm skin gliding over mine, the water lubricating our bodies against one another. “Please kiss me like you used to, Nick. I need you.” I didn’t give him a chance to protest. Instead, fusing my lips to his and working slowly to break his apart, allowing me entrance. I was determined to convince him that I was ready.

He was tentative at first, holding back, and fighting against what we both needed. But inch by inch, he gradually released his restraint as we both became lost in a kiss that was more powerful than any we’d shared before. When he suddenly came to a stop and pulled back, I saw a myriad of emotions cross his face. The strongest a combination of fear and love. “I’m scared,” he whispered, admitting something I knew he’d never tell anyone else. The knowledge that he’d share something so personal with me only built our trust, spurring me on to know him in the most intimate of ways. “I am, too, but I need this. I need you, Nick.” After a long moment, he took a deep breath and sighed, nodding softly as he crushed my body to his. Holding me close, he walked through the pool and up the stairs, exiting as the water sloshed from our bodies. Without stopping for a towel, he opened the back door, quickly closing it and pressing the alarm before continuing through the house. I wasn’t sure how much further my slippery body would be able to hold on; his fast pace and determined steps made it difficult to maintain my grip, but I was determined to avoid anything that might make him change his mind.

She was so beautiful. Inside and out there was nobody who came close in comparison. After lying her down on our huge, oversized bed, I stood there staring at her in wonder. I didn’t understand how she was so brave or why she had chosen me to be the lucky chump she wanted, but I would live every day trying to be worthy of her love. “Stop thinking so much and come here.” She smiled and held her arms open for me to join her. Unable to put my thoughts into adequate words, I did as she said and crawled on top of the bed, placing my body beside hers. I was terrified of going too fast, doing something that would make her think of one of those lousy fuckers, or hurting her in any way. I wasn’t lying when I told her I’d be just as happy if we never had sex, but I couldn’t deny that the idea still turned me on night after night. Leaning over her, I lowered my head and brought our mouths together. Little did I know the minx had something much more inspiring planned. The minute I was lost in her kiss, she pushed me backward and mounted my body. My first reaction was to regain control and pin her beneath me, but she knew me too well. Whatever she needed, I would give her. Those forty-eight hours of not knowing if she was alive or dead, injured or not, raped or safe, had completely changed me. If she could survive that and still want to be with

someone like me, I would give her the moon if she asked for it. Pushing aside my endless thoughts, I reveled in how her body began to move on top of mine. She felt glorious, her silky skin sliding against my chest, her sensitive area rubbing against mine. Knowing it was her, the only woman I’d ever trusted and loved, I never felt threatened and was surprised by how much I enjoyed her taking control. But just as quickly as the thought passed my mind, she rolled to her back, breaking us apart, and started pulling her bathing suit top off. “What are you doing?” I asked, completely bewildered. “I can’t wait any longer,” she breathed, her body straining upward as the offending fabric was torn from her body. With her breasts completely revealed, the tiny scar still visible, I knew this wasn’t how it should be. She deserved to be loved. She deserved to remember her first time with awe and wonder. “I’ll do the rest.” I didn’t miss the tiny smirk she flashed as I positioned myself above her. I should’ve known she’d been planning to seduce my weakness sooner or later, but I no longer cared.

His lips softly kissed the inside of my breast, trailing along the scar James had inflicted months ago. The tenderness and love I saw in his eyes as he looked up at me made me want to weep. But when he lowered his body, slowly kissing a path down the front of me, to the long drawn out scar the knife had made, I knew I’d never be the same. With every kiss, he was erasing a whirlwind of memories and replacing them with love and adoration. Sliding his hands up my legs, I felt his fingers grab hold of my bikini bottoms and gently start to pull them off. With every inch they progressed, his mouth followed, showering me with tiny kisses, and infusing me with the reassurance he knew I needed. It was a slow, torturous experience. One I wouldn’t mind repeating again in the future. As he made his way to my feet and completely removed my bathing suit, he looked up at me with such love, my breath caught in my chest. “You are so amazingly beautiful, Gwen.” Unable to say anything, I nodded my head in return. I didn’t want him to feel awkward or treat me differently because of my past, yet at the same time, I knew I needed him to reassure me as he went. I wasn’t sure if he realized that’s what he was doing, but his words and the way he looked at me in complete adoration prepared me in a way nothing else ever could.

Holding my hand out to him, I silently asked him to come back to me. With a quick nod and the look I fell in love with, he bent his head and brought his mouth back up the same path he’d previously kissed. From my ankles to my hips, he gradually made his way higher. My skin was cold, slightly damp from the bathing suit that had just been removed. So, when his warm lips caressed against my chilled skin, goose bumps spread across my body, igniting a tidal wave of passion deep inside. He didn’t give me time to think, his determined actions finally fulfilling one of my dreams. With a gentle touch, his hands slid to my inner thighs, his head lowering between my legs. I watched in fascination as my legs lifted and spread on their own accord; no fear or hesitation held me back as I allowed him access to my most sensitive area. He was in no rush, spending countless minutes kissing and sucking everywhere he could find, except the one spot that I needed him to the most. I knew he wanted to take things slow, to ensure that I was all right, but I was far past that point. When his tongue finally made its first swipe, gliding over my swollen nub, I couldn’t help the cry that escaped my lips or the arch that strained my back. Immediately, Nick jerked upward, fearful he’d gone too far. I couldn’t speak, my breath already ragged,

and my body begging him to finish. He’d taken so long to get me to this point, I needed him to finish what he’d started. Desperately grabbing his head, I wordlessly told him what I wanted, and pushed him back down to where he was. The last thing I heard before he buried himself between my legs was a satisfied little chuckle.

“Please!” she cried out, begging me to help her over that invisible cliff once again. I hadn’t planned to linger like this, but I couldn’t get enough of her. The way she called out my name, her body trembling in pleasure beneath me, was more than I’d ever imagined. Knowing she was close, I removed my mouth and pulled my body up the length of hers, kissing a path between her breasts, up her neck, and to her lips. With our mouths once again fastened together, she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me tightly against her body. Her eagerness and endless desire were more of a turn on than anything I’d experienced before. Returning her kiss, our mouths feverishly devouring the other, I reached between us and slowly rubbed the tip of my hardened length against her swollen nub. Unable to handle the pressure after what I’d already done, she cried out, breaking the kiss, and gasping beneath me. I knew

this would be the best time to get this part over with for her. I only hoped I prepared her enough to prevent any pain. Lifting up, I positioned myself at her entrance. It was incredibly difficult to hold myself back from slamming deep inside, but one look at her doe-like eyes watching me with both complete trust and overwhelming desire, I knew I could restrain myself and be what she needed. Nudging gently between her folds, I reached above, rubbing the little bundle of nerves once again. She was already so turned on from the first few times that within seconds she was at the peak, pulling my body closer and calling out my name. When her head tipped back and her mouth opened in a silent gasp, I quickly pushed my entire length inside, coming to a stop when I was fully sheathed and buried in her. I never thought I’d be able to have vanilla sex. I’d always needed to dominate, control every aspect of sex in order to avoid feeling like the little abused boy that I once was. I’d always thought myself incapable of finding pleasure in such a way. When the truth of the matter was, it wasn’t the type of sex I was having. It was who I was having it with. Bringing my body flush with hers, I saw the change in her face immediately and worried I’d

gone too fast or made a mistake. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, her arms and legs wrapping around me and holding me as close to her as possible. “I love you, Nick,” she whispered against my neck, surprising me and turning me on even more. “Please make love to me.” Before I could respond, she lifted her hips and lowered them again, forcing my length to glide in and out. I may have been on top, but she was still in control. Her body urging me on when my mind wanted to stop. It had been so long since I’d had sex, I was suddenly afraid it would be over before it even began. Whatever the case, when I finished, I knew I wanted to look into the eyes that had captivated me from the minute I’d first seen them. Gently guiding her back to the bed, I slowed the pace and kissed her tenderly as I began to move in and out, gliding with precision and a loving rhythm I never knew I possessed.

At first, his size had scared me, the feeling of being so full and tight was more than I’d expected. But when I took a minute to think about what was happening and how miraculous it was that we had

become one, the fear slowly faded away, replaced by a desire that burned deeper than any hurt could ever reach. Watching his body shake with the need to control his actions as he continued to move inside me, I was overwhelmed by the love and compassion I knew he felt for me. I wanted him wild, doing things that would please us both. I wanted to experience whatever it was that turned him on. It may take me a while to build up to those things, but one day I would be the one to complete all his fantasies, just as he was completing mine. Feeling the pressure building once again, all coherent thought passed away as I became lost in how good he felt. He began moving with speed, trying to contain his strength; the muscles in his arms and legs contracting in a battle to hold back, yet unable to stop as he sped toward the climax his body sought to find. Knowing he needed this as much as I did, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered the words I knew would spur him on. “Make me come, Nick.” It was like a light switch had flipped. My words gave him permission to release his fears. He didn’t hesitate. His fingers gripped my hips, pulling and pushing me right along with his frantic thrusts. I felt myself clawing his back, unable to hold myself back as I soared to a place I’d never known existed. Almost immediately, I found myself at the

point where I knew I couldn’t take anymore, desperately seeking what only he could provide. Arching my back, I closed my eyes, lost in a sea of sensation. “Look at me,” Nick demanded, his body speeding up once again. “I need you to look at me, Gwen.” He softened his tone, pleading with me to do as he said. “I want you to know who is with you, who is calling out your name when I finish.” Little did he know I’d do anything and everything he wanted. It might take me a minute to comply when everything felt so amazing, but there was no doubt I’d do it all. With a little smirk, I opened my eyes, finding his unwavering love staring back at me as his jaw clenched and his body continued pumping inside. He was absolutely beautiful in this moment. His mouth slightly parted, sweat building and his muscles were straining as he took me higher and higher. Feeling the pressure as I reached the peak, I feared I’d never make it over again. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, he surged forward, taking me over the edge into a freefall of endless pleasure and passion. “Gwen!” He thrust one last time, slamming into my body with such force I felt myself sliding upward toward the headboard. “Gwen,” he groaned agonizingly as he jerked forward two more times.

“Gwen,” he whispered in satisfaction, falling forward. and holding me close, his body trembling as he emptied himself inside me.

Looking down at her, her face so tranquil as she slept, she was more than I’d ever dreamed of. She was goodness personified. Far more than I deserved after such a despicable life. She stole my breath and filled me with awe. After making love repeatedly for the past few hours, I’d insisted she’d be too sore and laid beside her as she drifted to sleep. Truthfully, I was out of shape and would probably be just as sore as she was. Smiling to myself, I knew that wouldn’t stop either of us tomorrow morning. We had unleashed two very powerful beasts, and neither one would be content to contain them any time soon. Watching her now, her sweet innocence once again returned, I couldn’t believe the truth I’d learned tonight. All this time I thought that I’d been the one saving her. When in fact, it was her who was saving me from the moment she’d first looked at me. It may take a lifetime to show her how much she meant to me. But I would never again take a day for granted, and I’d spend every minute doing

my best to make sure she knew. I would love her in every way that she needed me to. She was and always would be, my everything. “Stop thinking and go to sleep,” she whispered, smiling without opening her eyes. She knew me so well. “I love you.” I kissed her cheek and wrapped my arm around her as I laid my head on the pillow beside hers. “I love you, too.” She held my hand to her heart and snuggled up against me, quickly taking both of us into the most peaceful sleep we’d ever had.

This book is more than just a story. Twenty years ago this month, I found myself in a similar situation as Gwen. Although I went to the police, and eventually to court, I never spoke of my experience with anyone close to me. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally found the courage to tell someone, “I was raped.” After that, I didn’t discuss it or elaborate in any way. Those three words still held power over me and I avoided them at any cost. It wasn’t until recently that I decided to stop hiding the truth. It wasn’t my fault and I don’t have any reason to be ashamed to admit what had happened. Rape is a very real problem in the world today. Whether it is with someone we know, a stranger, or for a more sinister reason such as sex trafficking. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, adult or child. It is a weapon used against our bodies, one that continues to cause destruction far after the initial act is complete. My hope is that after reading this story, others will be encouraged and know that it wasn’t their fault. You may have been hurt, humiliated, and violated. But always remember, even though our body may be broken, our spirit is, and forever will be, UNBREAKABLE.

THANK YOU! A very special thank you to my children who are always waiting with a hug, kiss, or loving word when they see me struggling. You all are my world, my everything. Without you, my life would be meaningless. Of course, there are many people who have helped, encouraged, and pushed me on when I wanted to quit. Those who read my work and tell me what needs improved. Others who support me in every step of the author world. There are no words to express my gratitude! I am truly blessed to have each of you in my life! My husband, there are no words that can adequately tell you how much your encouragement and constant cheering mean to me. You are my rock and my constant refuge. I love you! Stacey, I’d need another book just to tell everyone how amazing you are! In a world filled with selfish and dishonest people, you are one of the few who are truly good and selfless. I couldn’t have made it through the past year without you! Thank you for all you do for me every day.

COME JOIN THE FUN!

Want to know when the next book in this series will be released? Jump over to my page and follow me for all the up to date information. FOLLOW SK:

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sklessner/ Twitter:https://twitter.com/LessnerShannon Website:https://shansthinkingspot.wixsite.com/sklessner Reader Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/399244167075267 Youtube:https://youtu.be/_7-NXVRWeGc