A Beautiful Wreck - CeeCee James

A BEAUTIFUL WRECK

CEECEE JAMES

Contents Copyright Dedication Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Also by CeeCee James

Copyright © 2016 by CeeCee James All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

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Wrecked and Yours Miranda’s Story Out of the Wreckage Jason’s Story A Beautiful Wreck Cassie’s Story CeeCee James Author Page Mailing list where I give away free books and other goodies.

Thank you to my precious family for all of your support! ~333~

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. Isaiah 66:13

CHAPTER 1

Buttercup. Only a few more days left until I come home. I can’t wait to H ey, see you. I swear I’m going to grab you in my arms and never let you go.

Shock ran through Cassie at Leif’s words. He’s finally coming home? She took a second to catch her breath but then her fingers couldn’t type fast enough. Me too, babe. Can’t wait! When was his message sent? Scrolling up, she checked the timestamp: ten days ago. Hidden away in her college email account, it was just luck that she’d even seen it. Cassie read the last line. Surprise! I get to be there when you graduate. I’m incredibly proud of you. Besides, I have a little question I’ve been meaning to ask you. ;) Oh, man…. She tipped her head back, blinking hard to stop the tears. A lump rose in her throat. It’s really happening. The air conditioner kicked on and sent a column of icy air across Cassie’s bare legs. She rubbed her bare arms and reached for the lacy sweater on the back of the chair. “Ouch!” she gasped, as her necklace caught on the inside of her sweater, choking her. Carefully, she threaded her hand up to untangle the dangling silver charm. She ran the charm over her bottom lip, in the way she always did, before looking at it. Silver booties. Cassie shoved the laptop across the quilt on her bed, her long, blonde hair falling in her face. Impatiently, she twisted it up. She looked for something to fasten it, then lunged for a rubber band on the night stand, and tucked the ends under in a bun. I really need some of my paper love. She clambered to the floor and stretched under the bed for a box. Notes and cards burst over the top as soon as she raised the lid—all from Leif. She began to shuffle through them, searching for her favorites. She pulled one out. His printing— he refused to use cursive— was crammed tightly together and used every last square inch of space. It’s hotter than Hades here—you just can’t believe it. But every day is worth it when I think of you waiting at home. Can’t wait to jump in that lake with you.

Lying here, trying to sleep. Not easy with a tent full of men snoring and bumping my cot as they move around. Miss you so much, babe. It’s five o’clock in the morning here. The sky is gorgeous, so wide it feels like it goes on forever. Love thinking about you asleep in your bed, and wish I could be there to see the sun hit your face. Cassie studied the last letter, her eyes stinging, her insides doing a tug of war between love and pain. She returned it to the box. Eighteen months. Eighteen months since I’ve seen him. Curling around her happiness was an unexpected emotion. Fear. Stop! Don’t think about that! Wincing, she squashed it down. Looking up, she caught her reflection in the mirror across the room. She stood up and walked closer. Her face was pale; that was normal. She rarely tanned in the sun, burning bright red instead. Fading freckles marched across the bridge of her nose, barely visible but still prominent enough to make her grab for the foundation bottle. Sighing, she dabbed on the foundation with a sponge. His last message lingered in her mind. I’ve got a little question to ask you. ;) Cassie pulled the necklace out from under her shirt again and clutched the silver baby booties tightly in her hand. She closed her eyes. He’s coming home. We’re lucky to have a new beginning. This was going to be their chance to overcome the tragedy that had almost torn them apart. The one moment in time that had changed everything, and the one thing that would always hold them together….the death of their son. Two eighteen-year-olds. So young and dumb. They hadn’t thought an unplanned pregnancy could happen to them. And then the dark night when Cassie had lost the baby after the car accident. We both fell apart the night of the accident. Our little family torn to shreds. Leif turned to the military and me to college. Almost didn’t make it, but we’ve both grown up so much since that day. “Leif, we can do this,” she whispered out loud. “We can build our family again.” Cassie tucked the charm back under her shirt, wishing it was as easy to lock the memories away. Humming softly, she rummaged among her perfume bottles and grabbed her favorite one. She held it to her nose, breathing in the faint summery scent of honeysuckle blossoms. Leif had given it to her just before he’d left for boot camp. She spritzed it on her neck and straightened her shoulders, nodding at her reflection. Welcome to womanhood. She frowned and slipped on her red Converse. Heck with this, I’m still a girl. Leaving the laces flying, she ran downstairs. “Miranda!” The acrid smell of burned milk permeating the downstairs stopped Cassie cold. “In here!” called Miranda. Cassie ran into the kitchen. Her sister, face creased in frustration, didn’t look up from where she stood watching over a steaming pot on

the stove. Instead, Miranda fiercely stirred the bubbling liquid with one hand, while gripping the counter with the other as if hanging on for dear life. Cassie sidled up to the kitchen bar, her eyes wide with disbelief as she took in the massive silver headband holding back Miranda’s dark hair. Tact, use tact, Cass. “So …. how’s it going? And what the heck is that in your hair?” Miranda glanced at her, looking frazzled, and touched the sparkling band. “What? This? It’s called a fashion accessory.” “Do me a favor, sis. Don’t leave home with that still in your hair. It’s like something Paris Hilton would wear.” “You’re so funny. And don’t you have something you should be doing right about now, besides being a fashion critic?” “Oh boy, and you’re cooking.” Cassie bit back a grin. She loved winding her sister up. Miranda looked up from the steaming pot and lifted the wooden spoon in a mock-threat. “Not one word, Chickee. This is already the second batch I’ve made today.” Cassie took a deep sniff. “Mmm, smells delicious.” Miranda resumed her stirring with a laugh. “Potatoes au gratin. This time it’s going to be spectacular. What did you come down here for, anyway? Wanna help? There’s still time.” Cassie climbed onto the bar stool and dragged over a stray envelope before sliding a pen out from where it had rolled under the fruit bowl. She began to doodle long curls. “I just got an email. Leif’s coming home in five freaking days. In my head, I’ve always envisioned throwing him this huge welcome home party… and now I’ve got, like, a minute to plan it.” She studied the paper. L’s with little arms and legs danced across the paper. “You guys are going to work it out, then? You were saying a while ago—” “Yeah. He’s waited all this time for me. I still love him.” “Don’t get mad, but you don’t sound so sure about that.” Cassie dropped the pen in frustration. “Yeah, I am. We are. It’s happening.” Miranda rolled her eyes with a slight grimace. “All right. I just care about you. Let me see what I can conjure up with zero notice. I’ve got some sweet party skills. I know I can do something….” Miranda’s voice dropped off as she continued to stir. Then, looking up. “Hey! Maybe we can reserve the restaurant banquet area again.” “That’s an idea.” Cassie slid a tube of lip gloss from her jeans pocket and applied it. Smacking her lips, she studied the tube for a second. Almost gone. I seriously might be addicted to this stuff. “You going to invite his family?” “Umm.” Cassie felt her cheeks heat. “Honestly, I don’t know any of them.” “You still haven’t met his family?” “I know, it’s weird. His parents divorced and moved to opposite sides of the country. I know he hasn’t been in contact with his mom for years.” “And he has no brothers or sisters, right?”

Cassie shook her head. “Yep. He’s an only child.” “Well, we can still do something awesome.” Miranda continued. She started slicing potatoes. “I seriously don’t want you to get stressed out. Right now, graduating should be your top priority. You all ready for your finals?” “As ready as I’ll ever be. At this point, honestly, I hate college.” “Cassie, you can do this. Just push through a little bit longer. Tough it out. You only have a few more weeks, and then you’ll be on to bigger and better things. How’s the job outlook going? You hear back from that one blog?” Cassie grinned. This was the moment she’d been waiting to drop on her sister all year. Yesterday, she’d gotten the phone call. “Yeah. I have an interview. I’m super excited.” “You got the interview?” “Yep. You sound shocked? Just heard back yesterday. They said they were impressed with my sample article, and also how I knew who Jennifer Lawrence's first love was.” “Which was?” “Muffin, a horse.” Miranda laughed. “I should have never doubted you.” “That’s right.” Cassie gestured toward the headband again. “Now don’t doubt me about that. Because trust me, it ain’t cute.” Archer dragged himself out from where he’d been resting under Cassie’s stool. The German Shepherd brushed against her bare feet propped on the rungs as he stood. His dark head tipped and ears pointed forward. Moving slowly towards the door, his nails clicked on the hardwood. “What’s the matter, ol’ boy?” Miranda asked. She spun for the cupboard and reached for a Corningware dish. “You hear that? Sounds like a car coming down the driveway. It’s kind of early for Jason to be back from the youth center, isn’t it?” Cassie pulled back the curtain, half-expecting to see Miranda’s husband rounding the last bend of the long driveway. “No, not for another hour yet,” Miranda said, after checking the clock. Cassie leaned against the window sill, watching. Dust billowed from around the corner, heralding a black Suburban. A shiver ran down Cassie’s spine. She dropped the curtain like it was poison and took a shaky step back. “Who is it?” Miranda called as she slid the casserole into the oven. Cassie couldn’t answer. Her eyes darted down, vocal cords frozen with a tight spasm. Archer barked again. He scratched at the front door, demanding to be let out. Miranda hurried over to the dog and dropped her hand to give him a reassuring scratch behind his ears. “Okay, Archer. Don’t kill anyone.” She looped her fingers under his collar to hold him back and reached for the doorknob. “Don’t.” Cassie whispered. Her eyes flicked up to meet her sister’s, and she felt

her face drain of blood. Miranda’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t? Cassie, what’s the matter?” Miranda peeked out the window just as loud pounding rattled the door. Startled, she jerked her hand away. With a quick glance back at Cassie, she swung the door open. Cassie staggered a step backward, hiding behind her sister. She looked at the stairs—her room was just to the right, at the top of them—and licked her dry lips. Just run. Run up there. It can’t happen if you aren’t here. Two soldiers stood in the doorway, both ram-rod straight, in Army uniforms. One stepped forward. His hat hung low over his forehead, but Cassie could still see his eyes. Piercing. Sad. He caught her gaze, ignoring Miranda’s smile and hello. “Miss Temple?” Miranda stepped back, her hand reaching for Cassie. “Chickee?” The soldier took a small step over the threshold, his dark eyes full of sorrow. Fear crawled down Cassie’s back. Run now! Run! There’s still time. Don’t let him talk! “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. Leif always told me, if anything happened to him, he wanted me to bring you this.” He held a box in his arms. The crawling became shudders, shaking Cassie in violent waves. Her head shook in denial. In self-defense, her hands came up to ward him off. “No. No. No! No!” A flicker of agony passed over the soldier’s face. He paused, and started again. “I was in the armory unit with Leif. He was my best friend.” “Please! Stop….” “I—” “I said stop! Don’t say it!” Miranda took a step towards Cassie. “Chickee—” Her hand stroked Cassie’s shoulder and started to draw Cassie into her arms. “Don’t say it! Please! Both of you shut up!” Cassie shook her head. She pushed her sister away. “He just wrote me! Said he was on his way home. He just wrote—” The room spun and she fell forward on her knees, flinching as her sister called, “Oh, honey—” “Please! Leave me alone. Go away. Everyone just go away. It’s not true. It can’t be true!” “I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the soldier said, his voice husky with emotion. “I….I know it’s a shock. I’m sorry to deliver the news. He was a good man.” Cassie stuffed her fist against her mouth to silence her sobs. She rocked back and forth on the hardwood floor. Around her, bits of their conversation stabbed into her heart like a knife. “IED.” “Never left his brothers.” “Hero.” Slamming her hands over her ears, she curled into a ball. No, Leif. No! You can’t do this to me. Not after all we’ve been through. Please say this isn’t my fault! This can’t be true. It’s just a nightmare! Wake up, Cassie. Wake up!

CHAPTER 2

O ne Year Later SOMETIMES LIFE PASSES by in gray light. Morning fades into evening, each day a numbing exercise with the bed sitting at both ends like a dusty bookend. “Grieve,” they said to her. “There’s no wrong way.” “Let it out.” And then: “Let it go…. it’s time to move on.” How can I move on? Everything I see reminds me of him. How do I get rid of his shirt I wore during our campfire? Even now, it still smells like his aftershave. I can’t sleep unless it’s under my pillow. My Facebook is filled with his pictures. My room is scattered with his notes. And my heart…. my heart is filled with nothing but a big hole that has no walls and no bottom. And the anger…. I hate love!

PULLING HER LAPTOP CLOSER, Cassie began to type. They say that time heals all wounds. But I have found that not to be true. Time does nothing for the kind that are caused by love. All time does is teach you how to breathe around the bleeding heartache. She paused. The title at the top of the page read, in bold letters: Is Love Real? The article was for her weekly column in Celebrity News. Cassie rubbed her temples after reading her blurb. It’s a miracle they’ve kept me so far. But maybe not for much longer. Week after week, she’d dedicated her blog posts to Leif, sharing how grief tore her life down to fragile wisps. Patricia, her editor, had been very understanding—even encouraging—of the raw pieces at first. “People lose relationships in many different ways, Cassie. There’s no manual on how to get through it.”

But, after reading Patricia’s latest note, Cassie wondered how much longer she’d have her job. She might even have felt fear, if her emotions could give any other reaction besides hopelessness. “I think it’s time for you to be moving on from this. Spring is here! We want a happy blog filled with sexy posts. If you don’t think you can do it, maybe this job isn’t the right fit for you. But I have faith in you. You’re ready to kick life’s butt!” Patricia had ended the note with a smiley face. Cassie had wanted to quit right then and there when she’d read it. Instead, she’d replied with, “Thank you so much,” and ended with her own smiley. Puke. Cassie’s stomach rolled over, knowing her sister would read the article. Miranda had been worried about her all year. Not saying a lot, but watching. Always watching. And now, after the anniversary of Leif’s death passed, Cassie knew Miranda was waiting for her to turn the corner. “Turn the corner? I can barely leave my room,” she muttered. She felt boneweary as she glanced around at the slobby mess piled across the floor. I’m going to die here, in this house, aren’t I? I’ll probably die in this room. Everything feels so hard. Even the easiest things. Even getting dressed. Great. I’m going to die here, in my pajamas. And my hair will probably be unbrushed. I’m drowning in this house. Drowning. Cassie rubbed her temples some more before finishing the article. Quickly, she scanned through it again, then hit Send. There. Another week done. With a groan, she pushed the laptop across her bed and flopped back on the pillows. Leif’s box sat shoved underneath the bed, displacing the carton of love letters to one side. Cassie had tried to go through it. Really, she had. The first time she’d only been able to lift the lid, not really seeing what was in it through blurred vision. She’d tried again six months later. But then it had been almost Thanksgiving, Leif’s favorite holiday. She’d only lasted a few seconds before cramming the lid back down. But not before she’d discovered the photograph. Time to try it again. She looked out the window at the sunlight sifting through the trees outside. Her mind was already bucking against her decision. You owe it to him. Cassie climbed down to the floor and leaned to look at the box. It stared back at her, taunting her. You think you can do it this time? It seemed to be saying. I don’t think so. “Yes, I can freaking do it,” she muttered, and yanked out the box, dragging along a few attached dust bunnies. Her heart pounded. Licking the corner of her lip, she slid a finger under the edge of the lid. She sat for a moment, her muscles stiff. Don’t you dare stop now. She snatched off the lid and flung it to one side, out of reach. Her heart curled

into a ball at the base of her throat. She swallowed hard, trying to breathe. This always happens! Be brave! Hands trembling, she reached inside the box. Rough and blue. She pulled out Leif’s favorite baseball cap. Her eyes closed. She bit her lip and clutched the hat close to her heart. After a moment she slid the cap onto her head. It was too big and fell down over her eyes. She spun the bill around to face backwards before reaching into the box again. The pads of her fingers felt an edge. Taking a deep breath, she nearly had a coughing fit from the musty smell. Her gaze swept inside. A heavy book, obviously old, with white crease marks eating into the top edges of the thick cover. She gently traced a hand over the brittle surface. Stiff and dusty, the aged black leather carried the marks of being forgotten. Cassie drew the book out and onto her lap. It took up nearly half of it. Crinkled, gold letters spelled The Holy Bible. She wrinkled her brow. She’d never heard Leif mention he had a bible before. Cautiously, she dragged her finger along the edge, before flipping the cover open to the first page. Dedication—1921- To my darling son, Jasper, as you begin your marriage. The thin, curlicue writing had faded to a dull brown. The next line down commemorated another day, one year later. A son had been born. The next few lines held the names of an additional son, a daughter, and then began marking their marriages, births, and deaths. Leif’s birth. Four blank lines underneath to hold the date of his marriage, the births of his children. Cassie touched an empty line. His death. Her heart squeezed with grief. She felt around on the top of her desk and grabbed a pen. Hesitating over the page a moment, she began to scribble furiously: The most courageous man died on this day saving his brothers. He left a vacuum that cannot be filled. Cassie wrote the date, catching her tears with her thumb before they fell on the paper and could smudge the ink. She kissed her fingers and pressed them to his name. Leif, your life affected so many. You were a good man. Not a perfect man. But a good man. You deserved more. She started to return the bible to the box, when she saw the photograph again. Cassie lifted it out. It had a crease down the middle from where it had been folded and its edges were dog-eared from being crammed into a pocket or a hat. You must have kept this on you, Leif. Gently, she flattened the picture against her leg. Two boys sat on a log in front of a campfire. She recognized Leif right away. His red hair and goofy grin had remained the same as an adult. But the other—dark hair, not smiling. Staring into the camera like he was awaiting a death sentence. He held a fishing pole in one hand, the end resting

against a dirty, bare foot. Both of them had the same lean, tan bodies that came from running in the sun all summer. A snapshot of one’s life, caught forever in that moment. Over so fast. Cassie turned the photo over. In Leif’s cramped printing, it said: Luke and me, the summer before fourth grade. Wallisberg, Oregon Luke? She’d never heard Leif mention a friend by that name before. She paused for a second. Something about the name gnawed at her memory. She went for the bible and flipped to the dedication page again. Her pulse rising, she ran her finger down the generation lines. There! There it was. Under Tamara, sister to Dave. She had a son named Luke. Cassie compared the dates. Dave was Leif’s dad. Tamara, Dave’s sister. The birthdates matched. Cousins. “He must have been pretty special for you to be carrying around his picture,” Cassie whispered. “But why wouldn’t you have told me about him?” At the bottom of the box lay a pale envelope, addressed to Leif when he was overseas. She pulled it out. It was thin, with a single sheet of paper inside. She set the photo to one side and withdrew the letter. Dear Leif Hensley, I regret to inform you that Luke Stanzione aged out of the foster care system in 2009. At this time, we don’t keep records of our former foster children after graduation. I can tell you that he graduated from Mill Falls High School the same year. I hope this will somehow help you in your search. Leif had been looking for him, searching for his cousin. A strange strength and energy began pulsing through her. How did you lose him, Leif? Her lips pressed together as she tucked the photograph into the bible and returned it to the box. Can I leave the house and do this? Just saying those words freaks me out. But I need to save my job. And maybe, along the way, try to remember how to live again. “I can do this. I’ll find Luke for you, Leif.”

CHAPTER 3

“I

’m not willing to go through that again, Miranda. I’m not.” Cassie silently counted to ten to control her patience. Her sister pushed the porch swing, her flip-flop dangling from one foot. “Why can’t you at least be open to the idea of trying?” Cassie crossed her arms and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister’s tone immediately dragged her back into the role of being a pouty ninth grader, upset she couldn’t go to some party. “I just don’t have it in me to do it again. Once was enough.” “I promise, there are other people out there. You might have to ‘fake it until you make it’ for a while, but he’s a nice guy. I’m just saying go out as friends.” “Devon is your friend. You work with him. I don’t care if he’s a nice person. He’s not Leif. Nobody else could possibly be a best friend like he was. Laugh at my stupid jokes. He was my rock for a long time.” A sob began to work its way up her throat like a razor blade. She gritted her teeth, refusing to let it come out. “I’ve got other things to do with my life. Love isn’t one of them.” “I’ve noticed whenever you speak of Leif, you always speak of him as a friend. How are you grieving him? As a friend, or…?” Miranda’s words cut her to the core, stirring up her tamped-down fear. “Stop! I don’t want to talk about it!” Her sister chuffed at her tone and stood up. “You’re not even twenty-three yet, Cassie. For crying out loud, you have your whole life ahead of you. You need to get out and quit moping about in your room. You can’t give up now! You have to find your smile again.” Miranda’s eyes lingered on her face, but Cassie only frowned. Shaking her head, Miranda walked over to the sliding glass door. Her vanilla perfume wafted over Cassie as she passed by. Memories of Sunday mornings at the pancake house flashed in Cassie’s mind, stirring a nostalgic sadness. My biggest problem back then was choosing what kind of syrup I wanted. “Wait! Hang on for a second.” Cassie jumped to her feet from the swing to follow her sister. “Look, I don’t want you to be mad. I love you, and I love how much you care about me. And you’re right. Something does have to change.” Miranda’s shoulders softened, her hand pausing on the slider’s handle. Eyes

filled with concern, she looked back at Cassie. Cassie released the breath she was holding. “I feel like I’ve been disappearing here. I feel like I’ve been caught in a whirlpool just sucking me down, and I’m never going to get out.” “Awww, sweet baby. I know. It’s been so frustrating watching you suffer, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” “This sounds so weird but, even now, out of nowhere it’ll hit me that he’s gone, and I’m in shock all over again, like I’m hearing it for the first time. I really feel….” Don’t say it. Don’t say you’re afraid you’ll die here. It’ll freak her out. “Uh, I’ve been thinking I’ve just got to get out of here for a while. Maybe get on my own for a bit. I still have that life insurance from Dad.” Cassie smiled half-heartedly. Miranda’s eyes fluttered closed, and she nodded. She opened them and leaned over to tuck a stray blonde wisp behind Cassie’s ear. “Chickee, I don’t love the idea, but I get the need for an escape. Go, then. Find your peace. I know you believe it’s out there somewhere.” Cassie’s lip quirked at the corner. “And now you’re about to tell me that it’s really something inside of myself. You’re always so helpful with those little tidbits of advice.” “You know me so well.” “Anyway, I don’t want you to worry. I think I’ve got a goal. Leif was trying to track down his cousin, Luke, before he died. I’m going to find Luke and give him the bible. It was his grandma’s and, honestly, I don’t know anyone else to give it to. I want Luke to know his cousin was searching for him, that Leif cared. It makes me feel like I’m completing Leif’s mission. Who knows? Maybe that will help me move on. I’ve got to try something.” “Okay, so I hate that idea. Why can’t you just get an apartment in town? You’ve just gone from escape to crazyville.” Cassie snorted. “Really? You just said it was a good idea.” “I did not say it was a good idea. I said I could understand the need to get away, not traipsing around alone on some missing person’s search. What if you can’t find him? Will you still be able to move on?” “I don’t know, sis. That’s the truth.” Miranda opened her mouth to say something. Shut it again. Finally she blurted, “Just keep in touch. Like, every night. I’m serious.” “Whatever, Mom. Now, don’t ask me if I have clean underwear.” “Please, Cassie, just call. Please for my sake. I’ll worry if you don’t.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “I’ll text you, Facebook you, whatever. I’m not dropping off the planet. Just going to leave town for a bit.” “Don’t act like I’m overreacting here. I’ve been gearing up all week to have a talk with you about going on a date with a nice guy from my work. You kind of dumped this on me out of the blue.” “You shouldn’t talk,” Cassie arched an eyebrow. Miranda blushed. Cassie could tell her sister was remembering her own

vanishing act nearly five years earlier. “All right. Don’t rub it in. That’s why I said I understood what you’re going through. Can you at least tell me where you’re planning to go?” “I don’t know yet. I’ll search him up. How many Luke Stanziones can there be out there?” “That’s your big idea? Search for Luke Stanzione?” Miranda snorted. “Because surely there couldn’t be more than one of them.” She groaned, covering her face with her hands. “It’s like you’re trying to end up on the Cold Case Files.” “Oh Miranda, you doubt my ways? That’s not something you should joke about.” “I forgot. You are the pro stalker. You and your laptop.” Miranda walked inside and slid the sliding glass door closed behind her. “The smart phone works, too, and yes,” Cassie plopped back down into the porch swing, her fingers furiously flying over the keypad. “Yes, I am.”

IT TURNED out there were two Luke Stanziones, both located in Oregon, several hundred of miles away. So close. Why’d you wait to search until you’d already left for Afghanistan, Leif? Cassie grabbed a pen from behind her ear and scribbled the address on the palm of her hand. She studied it for a second. This is it. My ticket out of here. She stared over the porch railing out at the lake. Sharp sun-diamonds reflected across the surface of the water. The breeze swept over her face, carrying the green scent of the neighbor’s freshly cut grass. She inhaled deeply and relished the warmth of the sun baking into her skin. I can do this. I really can do this. She squeezed her hand tightly around the address and opened the slider. After taking the stairs two at a time, she reached her room and dove straight into her closet. The first thing she saw was the black dress she’d worn to Leif’s funeral. It had been cold that day. She’d stood in the back of the church, afraid and wanting it to be over, not knowing anyone there except for Miranda, who held her hand. Cassie’s high heels had sharply pinched her toes, and she’d relished the pain. Each throb in her feet had matched the words of the priest, until she could drown him out. Drown everything out. Boom. Boom. Boom. Her lip trembled at the memory. Cass, pull it together. She shoved the dress to one side. From the top shelf, she hauled down a suitcase. She flung it on her bed, suddenly stumbling from a stab of pain in the ball of her foot. “Ow! Ow! Ow! What the flip was that?” She shifted through the piles of clothing on the floor and pulled out a hair claw. “So that’s where you disappeared to.” After dropping it into her suitcase, she spun to survey her messy room. “This is going to be interesting,” she muttered as she shuffled the clothing around. Twenty minutes later, she was packed and hauling loads out to her car. The back

seat was crammed with so much stuff it looked like she lived there. “Laptop, tablet, phone charger, purse.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “All there. Time to escape, Cass.” Downstairs, she grabbed her jacket off the coat hook and a handful of hard candies from the candy jar on the coffee table. Then she wandered into the kitchen looking for her sister. Miranda’s eyes widened when she saw her. “You’re kidding. You’re not planning on leaving right now?” “I have to. I feel like I can’t stay here a minute longer, or I’ll chicken out.” Miranda slowly nodded and returned to beating something in a mixing bowl. “What are you making now? Dare I ask?” Miranda’s face was red from the effort of whipping the whisk. “Egg…. whites….” she panted. “I see that. Why?” “Why does it matter?” Miranda cringed and dropped her head. “I’m sorry, sis. It’s for quiche, if I’m reading the stupid recipe right. I’m just trying to be all calm and collected about you leaving, and not completely freak out. Okay?” She dropped the whisk and walked over to Cassie. “I’m completely freaking out.” “Come on, now. Let’s not get sappy. I’m just going to be a phone call away.” Miranda grabbed Cassie in her arms. “I practically raised you. I can get sappy if I want.” She kissed her forehead. “I love you so much. I know you’re going to be okay. You have a good head on your shoulders.” She pushed Cassie back and stared straight into her eyes. “So, keep it that way.” Cassie hugged her. “I’m leaving now.” “Okay.” “So, let go.” Miranda’s arms reluctantly released her. Cassie gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile and turned to go. “Wait!” Miranda yelled, scurrying over to the junk drawer. She rifled through it for a minute, finally extracting a pocket-sized container of pepper spray. "Take this with you. I’ll feel better.” Cassie stuck it in her purse. “Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.” She scratched Archer behind the ears before walking out the door. Once in the car, she adjusted the mirror, catching a glimpse of her shocked blue eyes. This is happening. I’m really doing this. She cleared her throat and flipped on the radio. “Time to roll.” Her hands shook slightly as she shifted the car into gear and slowly backed out of the driveway.

THREE HOURS and one bathroom break later, Cassie crossed the Oregon state line. She pulled over to a curb and began to rehearse what she was going to say. “Hi,

Luke. Sorry to barge in….” Her eyes squeezed shut. Please, Cass, don’t say that. “I was just in the area and thought I’d stop by. I don’t know you….” Seriously? This is getting worse and worse. She retrieved the photograph from her purse. Holding it close, she compared the two cousins. Both had the same cowlick in the front. What was I thinking? I thought this was a good idea, but it was a mistake, wasn’t it? Feeling the first tinges of panic, she dialed her sister. “Miranda, I’m in Oregon and I’m freaking out. What if for some crazy reason Luke grew up to look like Leif? I might lose it right there on the doorstep.” Cassie gave a shuddery groan. “They might call the police on some raving loon! You might have to bail me out.” “You’re going to be fine, Chickee.” As always in this type of situation, Miranda was calm, using the same voice she’d used to comfort Cassie when she skinned her knee as a kid. “I don’t know if I want to be fine. I feel like maybe I should still be hurting. It’s like the pain is still keeping Leif alive, somehow.” “He will always have a part of your heart. And what you’re doing now is incredible.” “What if his cousin breaks down on me? What if I end up sending the poor kid over the edge instead?” Miranda was silent on the other end for a moment. “You know, whatever happens is going to happen. What Luke does will be his choice. You can’t go into this worrying about his reaction.” “Thanks, sis.” "You still have the pepper spray?" Cassie eyed it in the cup holder. “Yes, Miranda." “You keep it on you. Remember, I’m just a phone call away. You call me if you need me, and I’ll jump in the car and head that way.” “Love you, sis.” “Love you, too.” Cassie dropped the phone in her purse and pulled back on the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “What if this kid still doesn’t have a family?” She snorted as she thought about what Miranda would say to that: He isn’t some lost kitten, Cassie. He has a home. “Leif, I’m going to take care of your cousin somehow. I’ll be there for him like you wanted to be.” Outside, the sun dappled the ground through the green leaf canopy. Only another hour or so to go. It’s amazing this kid lived so close, and Leif never told me about him. Leif had spent the last year of his life trying to find information about Luke. Why did you keep him a secret? What did you want to hide? Maybe he didn’t want me thinking badly about his family? Maybe he was just dealing with the shock of finding out his cousin had been in foster care. Maybe he couldn’t deal with it, being in Afghanistan. He just didn’t want to include me for some reason.

The fear slithered out again. We’d both changed. More than I wanted to admit. “I’m driving myself crazy,” Cassie muttered. She blinked hard to dispel the growing tunnel vision. “There’s no way to know now. Just gotta move forward.” She turned the radio down. “Leif, I don’t know if you can hear me. I don’t get the whole secret cousin thing, and why you didn’t clue me in. But it’s okay. I miss you so much.” A lump grew in her throat. Impatiently, she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand before clenching the steering wheel again. “So, I’m going to find him now and bring a bit of you to him. The bible, I mean. And, hopefully, I can take a step forward with that. It’s not that I want to move past you. It’s that life is moving on without me. If I can take care of your cousin, I think that will help.” She sighed again. “I just hope he doesn’t look like you. I think that would kill me.” A stab of guilt filled her. “In some ways, this is so hard because what you look like has been fading for me. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to remember and let go at the same time?” Up ahead, she saw the sign for a gas station and hit her blinker. She needed a minute to clear her head and get something to drink. And I have to pee. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of the gas station bathroom. No other choice for another forty miles, though. She drove up to the gas pump and got out, squealing as a jolt of static electricity shot through her. “Ack! Why does this car always do that?” The service attendant approached her for her card. “Fill her up?” That’s right. I forgot. Can’t pump your own gas in this state. Cassie nodded. He ran the card through the slot and passed it back to her. After popping the gas cap, he wrangled the nozzle out of the pump and into the car. Cassie stood next to him with arms crossed, watching the price-per-gallon. A wince crossed her face at the fast-rising numbers, and she stared out at the road, dead of traffic. “I’ll be right back,” she told the attendant, before walking toward the station. The inside of the mini-mart smelled of the greasy hot dogs spinning on the rotisserie on the counter. Sliding over her debit card, she said, “One corn dog please. And can I get the bathroom key?” The male attendant sat on a stool behind the counter. His blond hair escaped from under a dirty baseball cap. He scratched at a zit on his neck before grudgingly handing over the key, attached to a twelve-inch ruler. “How much farther to Milwalk?” she asked. A display of M&M’s caught her eye, and she forked over a package across the counter. The attendant wore a white collared shirt with his name—Tom—embroidered on the upper chest. “Why you going up there?” he asked. “Meeting a friend. How far is it? Is it easy to find?” Tom smirked. “You blink and you’ll miss it.” “Wow. That small huh?” The kid ran her card and handed it back to her. “Let me put it this way. You’re

the first person I’ve heard headed in that direction in a long time. It’s about fifty miles up in the hills. That place is a ghost town.” He leered at her, and Cassie drew back. “Spooky as sin.” “Okay.…” “You keep your doors locked until you find your friend,” he advised, before dismissing her to greet the next customer in line.

CHAPTER 4

assie peered through the windshield at a stand of mailboxes. They were her first C signs of civilization since she’d left Highway 101 and entered the national rainforest over an hour ago. The rusty mailboxes leaned against one another like a couple of drunk compadres staggering home from a late night at the bar. She wrinkled her brow and looked down the driveway at two pale tire tracks barely visible through the overgrown grass. This was it. This was where Leif’s cousin lived. It was dark here. Damp. Plant life fought for every spare inch of space, crowding each other out in a fight for the sun. The dense undergrowth was only overshadowed by thick moss dripping from the trees. Flipping on her blinker—Hello? There’s no one behind you—she turned into the driveway, ignoring the prickling sensation running down her spine. The light grew darker as the trees and bushes crept over the thin slice of land in an attempt to win back their ownership. After another hundred yards, the driveway split into a Y. One side snaked off to the left. Cassie paused, trying to see what lay down both ends. Her heart beat faster. Neither house was visible through the trees. Creeping forward, she chose the driveway on the right, this one corralled by old stripped logs that formed a haphazard fence around its borders. Her anxiety raising, she drove around the bend. A white building appeared, roofed in two different materials—corrugated metal and asphalt shingles—one seemingly slapped on where the other material had run out. A dog was chained to the front porch stoop. It stood as her car approached. Dirty and snarling, the dog leapt to the end of its lead, the metallic rattle of its chain audible inside the car. The place was vacant. The only vehicle other than hers was an old camper, halfcovered in a tattered blue tarp. Cassie studied the house as cold shivers continued to course through her. Beer bottles lined every windowsill on the bottom floor. A single window, its broken

pane held together with duct-tape, was tucked into the house’s A-frame roof. The last two numbers of what must have been the address hung on the porch railing, rusted and tilting. The wrong numbers. “It’s the other one, then. Please, oh please, be a normal house,” she whispered to herself. She circled the car around in the driveway as the dog lunged at her tires with high-pitched barks. “Nice doggy,” Cassie muttered. Backtracking to the Y she hesitated before steering the car down the left side. Idling slowly, she fumbled in her purse for her cell phone. One bar. Great. Her sister answered on the second ring. “Hello?” “Hi, Miranda.” “For crying out loud, Cassie. Where are y—?” Abruptly, Miranda cut out. The reception was that crappy. “Umm,” Cassie glanced at the moss-laden trees. “Can you hear me? Kind of in Bigfoot country. Hello? I think I found the house.” She rounded the corner and slammed on the brakes, jerking the car to a stop. “Oh my freaking word….” Cassie muttered. “What is it?” “Gotta go, I’ll call you later!” “Cassie! Don’t you dare hang—” Cassie clicked off the phone, trying to absorb the scene in front of her, mouth hanging open. Never in a million years…. She climbed out of the car and immediately wrinkled her nose. An aroma of mildew and rotten compost filled the air. Clouds of black flies buzzed in a dark, furious storm. She batted a hand before her face to disperse them and stared at the house. It was gutted. The front of the house lay open in a giant black maw, showing an ash-covered interior. Cautiously, Cassie stepped forward, jumping at the sound of the dog barking next door. She could just see him through the trees, straining at the end of his leash. “Shhh! It’s okay. Calm down!” She shot a look over her shoulder, afraid of what the dog’s sound might bring. Nothing but trees as far as she could see. Eyes sweeping the ground for anything hazardous, she cautiously stepped forward. The house leaned like a block of toppling cards, appearing as though one strong gust of wind could flatten the entire building. She recognized the smell now—not compost, but rotting campfire. Peering hard inside the skeleton of the structure, she could barely make out the remnants of a sofa. A fallen beam crushed the top of it. Cassie walked around the building, looking for any clue as to what had

happened. The grass in the backyard was knee-high. Remember to look for ticks. Her sister’s warning flew through her head. The fire must have happened a while ago. Where had Luke gone? Disappointment closed like a fist around her diaphragm, and she let out a soft groan. Earlier, everything had felt within her grasp. She’d had a sense of purpose. And now it was gone. All gone. Next door the dog’s barking rose in a fevered pitch. “What the heck is wrong with you, animal? Why are you still barking at me?” Cassie heard the chain rattle with a sharp twang as the dog lunged over and over to the end of its lead. She glanced in its direction, seeing its brindled coat through the trees. The dog wasn’t facing her. Chills ran down her back. The dog faced to her right with deep snarls erupting from its throat. Warily, she scanned the forest. Blackberries, ferns, and small bushes obscured her vision. She pulled out her cell phone. A glance showed that just the distance from the car took her out of service. She grimaced and dropped it back into her pocket. The pepper spray came to mind. Good job leaving it in the car, Cass. Her eyes burned as she stared into the undergrowth, watching for any movement. A branch snapped, and then came the rough crackling of dead leaves. Somebody’s watching me. Cassie jerked her head. Another branch softly swayed. Slowly, she backed away and inspected the area for a weapon. Her tennis shoe bumped into the edge of the crumbling porch, reminding her of how flimsy and soft the soles were if she had to kick at something. Or someone. Near the edge of the porch, she spotted a rough 4x4 board, charred black on one end. She hefted it in her hand and continued to back away. Silence. Cassie crouched behind the end of the porch and rested the 4x4 board on her shoulder. A bird fluttered into the sky. Every muscle in Cassie’s body flinched at the sound. It was just a bird. She let out a deep exhale, and her muscles began to relax. It’s okay. What did you expect? Bigfoot? From the forest a man’s whistle rose in a sloppy tune, faltered, before beginning again in eerie enthusiasm. Icy fear flooded Cassie’s veins, her stomach clenching as adrenaline pumped a second time through her muscles. She shifted her weight back to her heels to ease the tension. Come on… show yourself. The rustling from the bushes resumed and sorted itself out into heavy footsteps. Sweat trickled down her face. She raised the board higher. A man in his late twenties, with dark, virile Italian features, stumbled out into

the open. His black, unkempt hair stood on end, his face was unshaven. He spun around in a wobbly circle and his muscular arms flailed widely to keep his balance. A clear bottle dangled from his fingers, its contents nearly gone. Taking a long drink, he spied her hiding by the stoop. His eyes struggled to focus and then a low, drunken laugh tumbled out of him. “Principessa,” he murmured. “What are you doing here?”

CHAPTER 5

he man’s eyes had shone with hope when he’d first seen her, but quickly T hardened with disappointment. He staggered towards her, his jeans hanging low on his hips, giving a glimpse of a toned stomach. “I said, what are you doing here?” Squinting as though the light were too bright, his hand rose up to shield his eyes. His full, bottom lip dropped into a smirk. “Just stay away from me,” Cassie warned, rising from beside the cement foundation. Her grip on the 4x4 tightened. “I swear, I’ll knock you into next Tuesday.” The man’s grin broadened, and his head tilted to the side. “You look like a little warrior. Are you a fighter, Principessa?” His hazel eyes, rimmed with dark eyelashes, softened as his gaze lingered on her. Unexpected warmth fluttered in her stomach. Cass! Wake up. Drunk stranger here. She shrugged back her shoulders and stood taller. “Come any closer, and you’ll see what kind of fighter I am.” “Tell me why you’re here.” “What’s it to you? You live here?” she snapped back. He stopped about ten feet from her, and his eyes flicked toward the burneddown house. “Does it look like anyone lives here?” “Then why do you care why I’m here?” “It’s called trespassing. You’ve got no rights.” Show him no fear. Cassie pursed her lips, and her eyes held steadily on him. I’ll kick your butt, dude. The thought brought up a hysterical giggle, but she squashed it down. “What are you smiling at?” The guy frowned, his bicep flexing as he jammed his hand into the pocket of his worn jeans. He tottered a little bit as the motion took him off balance. “What? No, I’m not smiling.” The muscles in her arms and shoulders screamed with fatigue, and her grip on the board faltered. She rested it against her shoulder. Don’t let him see you’re tired. She scowled, trying to look fierce. “I’m here looking for someone.” The man kicked at a board, his dirty boots digging into the grass. “Nobody’s

lived here for a couple years.” “Yeah, I can see that, Sherlock.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to call my sister and get out of here.” Not wanting to relinquish the board, she tucked it under one arm, and squeezed her fingers into her jeans pocket to fish out her phone. She made a show of dialing it. Even without reception, she hoped the action alone would make the guy back off. “Wait!” The guy smiled to defuse the command. He ruffled his dark hair again, letting it cascade over his eyes. Cassie’s eyebrow flickered. “I mean, call if you want. I was just wondering who it was you were looking for.” “Why? Are you a neighbor? Did you know the people that lived here?” The man stared at the house again. His face turned serious and still. He looked back at Cassie. “Who do you know that lived here?” “What is this, twenty questions?” Cassie paused in dialing the phone. He’s not going to help me. I don’t have time for this. She eyed her car, thirty feet away. “You know what, forget it. This conversation is over.” She strode past him, her pants legs brushing against the tall grass with a whisper. “Hey. Don’t go.” The guy reached out to stop her. “Don’t you touch me!” Cassie lifted the board again, scowling. He stepped away, hands in the air. “Wasted the entire day, the entire trip,” she grumbled to herself. “You shouldn’t be here, anyway. Don’t be poking your nose into where it doesn’t belong,” the guy said. “I don’t know what the heck you’re talking about,” she tossed the comment over her shoulder, along with a flick of her hair. “I told you, I’m trying to track someone down. It’s not like I’m part of a big investigation or something.” “What do you know about an investigation?” He slowly walked after her. Cassie glanced back in surprise. Studying him carefully, she assessed whether she was going to have to clock him one after all. With his hand jammed into his pocket, the other twirling the bottle, he looked back at the house. When his gaze returned to her, his eyes were filled with confusion. The expression quickly melted into a drunken stupor. What was that about? She hurried to her car. He followed the trail of dents in the grass after her. “Dude, are you kidding me about an investigation?” she asked. “What is this, the Twilight Zone? I know nothing. Wow! People are really paranoid out here.” “You’re the one who brought it up.” He paused at the edge of the driveway. “Crazy.…” she muttered under her breath, pulling out the car keys. After dropping the 4x4 on the ground, she finished dialing her sister. Parked directly behind her little car was a silver Camaro. The dog had been barking so loudly she’d never even heard it drive up. “Right on my freaking bumper,” she muttered, as she opened the car door. “Thanks for all your help,” she shouted over the top of the roof of her car.

The drunk man stood at the edge of the driveway and saluted her with two fingers. “You’re welcome. Don’t come back.” “Um, hello. That was sarcasm. And I’ll do as I please.” She climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door, quickly hitting the lock button. The phone continued to ring at her ear. “Come on, sis, pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.” He wandered to his car to casually lean against the front fender. His arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched her. “Wow, what a jerk.” Cassie groaned. “If I accidentally hit reverse, I’d pinch him in two.” “What?” Miranda’s unexpected voice shot adrenaline through Cassie’s veins. “Oh hey, sis. Not you. Hang on a sec while I talk to this psycho.” Cassie unrolled the window. “You might not want to be driving, when you can’t even walk straight,” she yelled in his direction. This time he flipped her off. Shaking her head in disbelief, she shifted into drive. “That guy is crazy.” Turning the steering wheel hard, she spun out of there, smiling as he ducked from the spray of gravel. “Um, what’s going on?” Miranda asked. “Psycho? I can’t believe you hung up on me.” “Sorry. The first address was a bust. The house burned down and nobody’s lived there for a long time.” “So, what are you going to do now?” “Back to my hotel for tonight. But tomorrow I’ll be paying a visit to that second address.” Cassie said, pulling out onto the highway. “Cassie! You better be care—” Miranda’s voice cut out again. Great. Nice reception. Now she’s really going to freak out. A sigh slipped out as Cassie chucked the phone onto the seat, sounding almost lighthearted. Despite how the last house had worked out, she was really looking forward to the next address. For the first time in a long time, something had finally piqued her interest.

CHAPTER 6

oday is the day, today is the day. The mantra had been running through her T head all morning. This time it has to be him. After a quick shower, she’d applied

the barest amount of makeup, jammed a handful of Jolly Ranchers into her pocket, grabbed the bible, and headed out. The second address led her to an apartment building in downtown Freymere, just over a half hour away from her hotel. Cassie parked in the underground garage and grabbed the pepper spray. Not doing that again. Its weight in her pocket gave her extra confidence as she took the stairs back to the main floor. Hugging the book close, she yanked open the building’s front door and entered the main hall. Rows of silver locked mailboxes lined the entire left wall. To the right was a stairwell, its red carpet stained and worn thin from traffic. Stale cigarette smoke hung in the air. Cassie took a deep breath to calm the flutters in her stomach, and headed for the stairs. Cassie hurried up two flights and then down a long hall. Her heart beat faster as she approached the apartment door. Don’t think about it, just do it. Reaching out, she knocked hard on the door, then wiped her clammy hands on her pants for the fifth time. What was that? She peered down the dark hallway and held her breath to listen. Someone’s baby was crying. Exhaling, she clutched the bible to her chest like a shield and lightly bounced on her toes. A bubble of excitement rose inside, batting away the fear. Leif, I’m finally here, I’m doing it! She tried to picture Leif’s smile. His face slowly blurred, and she struggled to recapture his look even as it faded away. Frowning, she turned back to the door and knocked again. A noise behind her had her spinning around. The apartment door across from Luke’s opened, and a young man looked out. He gave her a quick once-over as his mouth relaxed into an easy smile. Cassie bristled at the stare. “Can I help you?” she asked. “I was just about to ask you the same.” “Uh, I’m looking for a guy named Luke.” She bit her lip before continuing. “Is

he home?” He smirked, glancing at Luke’s door. “You’re going to have to knock a whole lot harder than that to get his attention.” “Why? Is he hard of hearing?” Cassie asked. He snickered and shook his head. “You don’t know him very well, do you?” Cassie straightened to her full five-foot-two. “No,” she answered. “I’m just trying to return something that belongs to him.” He glanced at the book in her hands. “Yeah, you could say he’s got some hearing issues. Pound harder.” Exasperated, Cassie turned back to Luke’s door and pounded with all of her strength. “Keep going, keep going,” the guy across the hall encouraged. “For crying out loud!” The door vibrated under her strikes. A loud curse from inside the apartment stopped her knocks. Something heavy smacked against the other side of the door and tumbled to the floor with a crash. Cassie took a step back. “He’s up.” The neighbor said with a snort, before closing the door. Footsteps thundered through Luke’s apartment. Squaring her shoulders, Cassie steeled herself. The door flew open. Standing there was a man in his late twenties. Ratty clothing hung off of his muscular frame. Towering nearly a foot over her, he staggered unsteadily on his feet before the palm of his hand slapped against the door jamb for balance. Blinking hard, he struggled to focus as he looked at her. “What do you want?” he growled. Cassie’s mouth dropped open. No.… It was the guy from yesterday, the one that had chased her away from the burned house. Luke’s face was blank and closed off. He didn’t look like he remembered her. “I— uh—” she began. “I— uh—” he imitated with a sarcastic grin. “You better have a good reason to be waking me up.” His beet-red face broke into a yawn, and he dragged his hand through his hair, tousling it into a mountain of black peaks. “I have something of yours.” She swallowed. “For Mr. Stanzione.” She lifted the bible. Luke glanced at it. He opened the door wider and took a step back. “You come bearing gifts, huh? Well, I guess I better let you in.” Cassie’s feet, rooted to the hallway floor, didn’t move. Her gaze darted down the building’s empty hallway before returning to search the dark depths of his apartment. From where she stood, she could see the floor was cluttered with debris. She offered the book again. “Here, from Leif.” His head jerked up at her words, and his eyes narrowed. “Come in here.” He reached out and took her arm.

Almost against her will, she stepped in. He shut the door behind her and a wave of his boozy breath drifted over her. She pulled at the oversized sweatshirt she wore, the weight of the pepper spray comforting her. “What do you know about Leif?” he asked, looking her up and down. “He was my boyfriend,” she whispered, before clearing her throat. “Why are you being so rude?” “Rude?” He snorted. “I was born rude. Sorry to have offended you. Come in.” He waved her inside with his hand. “Let’s go have a chat about Leif.” Drunk and sarcastic. Awesome. Luke gestured toward a messy couch. “Have a seat right there.” Cassie looked down at the couch, her gaze slowly taking in the huge pile of laundry. A flush crept over Luke’s face, and he appeared embarrassed as he watched her shift uncomfortably. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. “Um.” Cassie’s glance flicked around the room. It was dark; depressing. The smells assaulted her nose: fried food, cigarette smoke, spilled alcohol. She lifted her chin and could see that she was in a studio apartment. A bed sat in the far corner, its tangled sheet exposing the bare mattress. In another corner, a black guitar was propped against a bookshelf. Her knee bumped into the coffee table, overrun with cigarette butts, ashtrays and beer bottles. Oh Leif, I don’t know if I can do this. A spot of brilliance caught her eye. Sunlight spilled from a crack in the blinds and lit on a metal frame. The wall was filled with frames, commendations of some sort. Glancing up, she saw a fishing pole hanging on the wall. Her heart softened, reminded of Luke’s sad face at nine years old. She turned back to Luke. “You know, I met you yesterday.” He squinted at her. “That’s right, the little investigator. Tell me again, what were you doing at that house?” Cassie walked to the end of the couch and began shoving at the clothing to create a space. He sat across from her in an easy chair. She swallowed. “I was looking for you.” “And why would you do that?” he asked. His expression dropped its drunken confusion as he studied her. Her skin prickled under his scrutiny. “Tell me, Principessa, what do you have in your hands?” he asked, his tone tinged with curiosity. His feet thumped up onto the coffee table, knocking over two beer bottles. He didn’t bother to look at them rolling along the floor. Cassie’s mouth went dry. “I, uh….” She shifted on the couch, fighting every instinct to just get up and run. She eyed him and decided against it. He looked like the type that would chase after her. Luke’s eyes closed as his head listlessly drifted back against the chair. His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed, the paleness of his throat appearing

vulnerable. The chair’s arm was torn, with a fluff of stuffing poking out. His fingers, nails bitten close, nervously twisted the stuffing, her first sign that he wasn't as confident as he was attempting to appear. “You make me ask again, and you can leave,” he said with a barb of impatience. Fire ran down Cassie's spine at his tone. “Hey, now, you don’t need to speak to me that way. I'll tell you when I'm good and ready.” He opened his eyes and looked at her clearly. “Are you ready now?” His eyebrows arched, but a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “Leif was in Afghanistan and.…” The dreaded lump appeared in her throat. She struggled to talk around it. “He died last year, I don’t know if you knew that….” her voice trailed off, as she watched his face. He flinched. “I’m so sorry. Um, Leif’s friend brought this to me last year.” Cassie moved the bible to the edge of her knees. “I thought his family should have it.” He brushed his hair off his forehead and sighed. “Well, now, that’s interesting. How do you know I’m family?” Cassie twisted the clasp of her necklace. “Leif had been looking for you. I just followed your trail from where he left off.” “Where's my manners today?” He wiped his hand down the front of his t-shirt and held it out to her. “Well, you found me, sweetheart. Luke Stanzione.” She couldn't hide her expression of fear. He pulled his hand away with a look of shame before the drunken smile returned. “Sorry to have bothered you. Maybe I can bring it to his dad,” Cassie said. Luke slowly shook his head. “You’ll need to go to the Crownsville cemetery then. His dad’s been gone six years now.” Cassie took a deep breath. Great. What do I do now? He held his hand out for the bible. “Let me see it.” She passed it to him, and he balanced it against his knee. A quiet sound came out of him, almost a groan. Cassie’s stomach twisted. She scooted to the edge of the couch and eyed the door. “It’s his family bible,” she said. “I know what it is.” Luke took a shaky breath. “I remember it from my Grandma’s house.” The muscles in his forearm flexed as he flipped the cover open. Scanning the pages, his hazel eyes darkened with pain. He chucked the bible onto the coffee table, spilling the ashtray. Ashes and cigarette butts went flying, some settling down like crematory remains on top of the bible. Cassie’s hand flew up to her mouth. She wanted to snatch Leif’s precious family relic up and run from the apartment. Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to calm down. Luke stood up and stalked into the corner of the studio that held the kitchen, and pulled a beer bottle from the fridge. After cracking it open, he took a long swig and stumbled back to his chair. Leaning forward, he balanced the beer bottle on top

of the bible. “Nice coaster. Thank you.” He smiled at her shocked face and then laughed. “Aww, what’s the matter? You come here expecting a big sappy thank you?” “I came here for Leif.” She straightened her back. He winced at her words. “You meant something to him, so you meant something to me, too. I can tell he thought you were a good guy.” His hands came up to rub his forehead, and then his eyes. A quiet curse dropped out of his mouth. “Stop. Please.” “So, since you keep asking me, what were you doing at the house yesterday?” Lifting his head, he looked back at her, his eyes wet. “Time to leave, sweetheart.”

CHAPTER 7

assie stumbled from the apartment with Luke’s hand at the small of her back C guiding her out. He slammed the door on her heels.

What just happened in there? Reaching for the wall to steady herself, she stood shaking in the hallway. Breathe. Just breathe. Instead she wanted to puke. Across the hall, the neighbor’s door cracked open again. This time the man was joined in the doorway by a young woman hanging on to his waist. The blonde woman wore a belly shirt and low cut yoga pants. She curled around her boyfriend as she eyed Cassie. “You okay?” she whispered in a baby voice. “That guy,” Cassie jabbed a thumb in Luke’s direction, barely able to get the words out. She’d never been treated that way in her life. Gone were her dreams of settling things for Leif. Her mouth tasted sour. She glanced at the neighbors. “I mean, he’s a head case.” The boyfriend kissed the top of his girlfriend’s head before wandering back into the apartment. The girl wrinkled her nose at Cassie. Her pink nails tapped the edge of the door frame as she seemed to consider if she wanted to share something. “You know, he used to be really different.” “He’s been like that every time I’ve met him,” Cassie said. She pulled down the hem of her hoodie and jammed her hands into its pockets. Finding a Jolly Rancher, she unwrapped one and stuck it in her mouth. “Yeah, I know. He’s a wreck. But he wasn’t always that way.” The memory of his tortured eyes, before he slapped the angry expression back on, flashed through Cassie’s memory. “Okay,” she conceded sucking on the candy, thoughtfully. “What’s his story then?” The girl eyed Luke’s doorway nervously, before opening her own wider. “Come in here and I’ll tell you. My name’s Allison, by the way.” “Um.” Cassie eyed her apartment. Allison gave a shy smile. “I don’t blame you if you don’t want to come in. I just don’t want him”—her eyes darted toward Luke’s door—“to hear me.” Cassie considered her invite for a milli-second. I’m here, might as well find out what’s wrong with him. Go big or go home.

“I’m Cassie, and thanks.” Allison led Cassie into a brightly lit kitchen. Their apartment layout was bigger than Luke’s. The thick smell of weed permeated the air. From the living room her boyfriend called, “Baby, what are you doing?” “Just filling her in on the neighbor,” she called back, still in a high voice. “Aww, come on. Leave the guy alone. He don’t need no busybodies butting into his business.” “Don’t worry about it, Dave.” Allison glanced at Cassie, eyes appraising, as she casually leaned against the white countertop with her arms crossed. “So, how do you know Luke anyway?” Cassie felt the lump return to her throat. She sighed, not wanting to answer Allison. Talking about Leif to a stranger felt like it was cheapening his death. That was hers alone. She wouldn’t share it. Cassie grabbed another candy from her pocket, stalling for time. Finally, she said, “I’m a friend of one of his cousins. I was supposed to return something to him. But it didn’t go over well.” She nodded her head in Luke’s direction. “As you heard.” “And his cousin didn’t tell you about him?” Allison dipped her eyebrow curiously. “No. They’d lost touch.” Allison nodded then and poured herself a cup of water. “Want some?” she offered. The cup was smudged with fingerprints and lipstick marks. Cassie shook her head. She rested against the counter before slowly pulling away when her hand touched something sticky. “I don’t know Luke well, myself, but he has a reputation around here,” Allison continued. She took a long drink. “After what I’ve seen, I’ll bet he does,” Cassie murmured. Allison laughed. “No, really. I mean a good one. Before last year, anyway. He was one of the best cops in the city.” Cassie’s mouth dropped open. She shut it quickly before her candy fell out. “Come on. Seriously?” “Yeah. I’m serious.” Allison shrugged. “He had a reputation for being a real good guy. It’s sad, really. It was his girlfriend who died in the house fire a while back. Did you hear about it?” Cassie shook her head. “Okay. Well, it was big time news around here. Supposedly, it was drug related, or something like that. I never can tell with that stuff, but the story goes that it was a hit after a busted mob deal. There were threats, I guess. Then, nothing more came out of it. That sort of thing. Anyway, after she died, Luke tried to keep working, but he couldn’t hack it. He took some weird mental health leave and moved in here.” Allison frowned. “He was just a mess. I tried to help him the first few weeks, but he’d barely answer me when I talked to him. I even brought him some of my famous chicken parmesan. He just thanked me and shut the door. Left me standing

there.” Allison set the cup in the sink. “I found the clean dish sitting outside my door the next day. The only time I’ve seen him since is about three in the morning, on my way home from my split shift. He’s out running on the streets. He doesn’t talk to nobody. Can’t really help someone who doesn’t want help.” Cassie had chills from the story. “Oh, the poor guy. How long ago was it? “Baby?” Allison called to her boyfriend in the other room. “When did Luke move in?” “How would I know? It was before I moved in with you.” Allison tapped the counter, her forehead wrinkling. “Hmm, I guess it was just about two years ago. I was planning to go for him, but he was just too sad. So I ended up with Dave instead.” She looked towards the other room and laughed. “Thanks for making me sound like I came in second place,” he called. “Aww, babycakes, you know you’re my one and only. My snuggle bunny.” There was a thump from the living room, and then he wandered in to the kitchen. Wrapping his arms around Allison, he kissed her neck. “Staaahp,” Allison giggled, pushing him away. Her hands rested on his chest as she looked up at him with a smile. Cassie’s eyes widened. “Okay then, I guess that’s my cue to leave. Thanks for filling me in. At least I know it’s not just me.” Allison took a step away from Dave. “You’re fine. He’s just showing off.” She gave him a wink before opening the overhead cupboard. After shoving cans aside, she pulled out a box of macaroni and cheese. “Nah, Luke’s like that with everyone. Luke’s a true hermit.” She filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. “It’s sad, like he just doesn’t want to live any more.” “Maybe he doesn’t know how?” Cassie said, remembering her own dark place trying to lure her back. “How do you forget something like that? I mean, the human body just lives all on its own.” She ripped open the box and dumped the elbow noodles into the pot. “You’d be surprised what depression can do.” “Oh honey, I know depression.” Allison waved a wooden spoon at her. “You’ve got to take responsibility for yourself. Pull yourself up by the ol’bootstraps and get yourself moving.” She stirred the noodles. Cassie gently shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes everything can feel so flat you don’t know how to move forward.” Allison frowned and tapped the spoon on the pot edge, before replacing the lid. “I guess so.” “I feel terrible for him. It’s horrible to live like that.” “Like what?” “Without hope.” “Let me guess, you think you can change it?” Cassie pictured her return home. Failure. Miranda’s disappointed face, possibly being fired from her job.

Death in pajamas. Probably the ones she hated the most. The National Anthem blared from the TV. “Baby! The game’s about to start! Hurry up!” Dave called. The singer’s voice rose. Images of Leif in uniform flooded Cassie’s thoughts. Biting her lip, she thought about the last time she’d seen him. His graduation. The hidden fear, the one she held locked up so long, lifted its head before she could stomp it down. Nausea rolled up her throat. The fear breached the point of no return and screamed through her mind. Leif knew I’d wavered, could feel how I’d been growing away from him during that last year. Eighteen months! We’d both changed so much! Maybe he was afraid to come home, that I’d break up with him. Maybe it’s my fault he died. “Hello? Cassie? Earth to Cassie?” Snapping fingers made Cassie look up. “Uh.” She rubbed the back of her neck as a cold sweat broke out over her body. “Sorry. Spaced out there for a second.” She swallowed hard. “I’ll say you did. You don’t look so good. You okay?” Allison picked up a towel and fanned it at Cassie’s face. Cassie smiled weakly. “I’m fine. Just felt weird there for a moment.” Allison frowned, not looking convinced. “You’re just a little bitty thing. I’m thinking if you can’t take care of yourself, you definitely can’t help him. I know it’s sad, but he’s a mess, girl.” Cassie nodded. The fishing pole on Luke’s wall popped in her memory, possibly the same one he’d held in the picture as a little boy. I can’t save your life, Leif, but maybe I can save his.

CHAPTER 8

Cassie shivered as she walked into her hotel room. Jeez, how high I mmediately, do they have the blasted air cranked up anyway? After dropping her stuff on

the bed, she hurried over to the radiator. The heater was as ancient as the bed, and the numbers had long worn off, leaving a faint red line that bled into blue. Cassie spun the dial as far into the red as she could and, with a clunk and a clatter, the radiator wheezed into life. Tepid air blew from the dusty vents, smelling stale, like powdery grandma perfume. She wrinkled her nose. Crossing back into the bathroom, Cassie washed her hands, still feeling sticky after Allison’s apartment. Next to the sink sat a tray littered with sugar packets along with a chipped coffee mug. She filled the mug with tap water and carried it to the microwave. After rifling through her purse for a mint tea bag, she stuck it in the cup, and pressed the smeared number pad for a minute. As the timer ran down, she grabbed her laptop from its bag and opened it on the bed. She typed in the search box: Luke Stanzione, fire, Milwalk, Oregon. The address of the burned house popped up. After scrolling down past the white pages she found a news article. SHOCKING POSSIBLE MURDER RETALIATION Local police officer loses girlfriend in three alarm fire. Cassie shivered and reached for her hoodie, quickly zipping it up. She plumped up the pillows behind her and hunkered back into them. With the laptop balanced on her knees, she read some more. There was a picture. Flames billowed out of the house she’d just been at yesterday. Firefighters in full gear aimed firehoses at the base of the flames. A local police officer’s house was torched to the ground early Sunday afternoon. The house belonged to Luke Stanzione, a police officer with the Freymere police department. He was not on the premises at the time. Officer Stanzione had recently been commended by his superiors for a mob bust late last month. Police were alerted to the blaze at 2:30 pm. Firefighters came from both Callam and Freymere to attend the scene. Engulfed in quick-spreading flames, the house was consumed in record time. An unprecedented three water trucks were called in

as the firefighters worked to subdue the blaze, preventing a forest fire. There was one victim, Jennifer Harley, twenty-five years old, from Tacoma, Washington. Medical Examiner Tom Reynolds has stated the cause of the woman’s death was smoke inhalation. Callam Fire Inspector suggested faulty wiring was the most likely cause of Sunday’s blaze. While the investigation is still ongoing, there are no suspects at this time. Local townspeople appear shocked. “I’m certain this was a hit,” a neighbor, who wishes not to be identified, told our reporters. Authorities are searching for any information that would lead them to a possible conviction. With a thoughtful look, Cassie closed the page. “Leif, it sounds like your cousin’s been having a real bad time.” Her fingers mindlessly logged into her different email accounts. No new emails. She logged into her Facebook account and flicked through her pictures. Leif, about a year into his deployment, smiling into the camera. He held up three fingers, their code for “I love you.” Cassie remembered the day she’d gotten it. She’d just finished a long email, telling him that she thought maybe they should take a break from each other. After receiving the picture, she’d quietly deleted the message and sent back simply “333.” She clicked the arrow to the next picture. This one had arrived about three months later. Smiling ear to ear, Leif wore his desert camo with a rifle slung over his arm. Another shot showed him sitting by a soldier. They were both looking off into the distance. His eyes were hidden by sunglasses. She frowned. What were you thinking about, Leif? Even then, she could see that he had been changing into someone she didn’t know. His dreams had changed. She never wanted to admit it, but her dreams had changed too. We were so young when we fell in love. Her thumb rested against the screen. We didn’t know how young we were, or how much we would grow. Sighing, she buffed out the thumb mark. Cassie tucked a blonde chunk of hair behind her ear. The microwave had chimed long ago. Her tea cold again. She thought about Luke tipping back his beer and choking on tears. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we fall in love? Loving someone… it just means you lose them one way or another. You grow apart… or they die. Cassie opened another window on her browser. Scrolling quickly, she brought up the article for her post at Celebrity Blog. She was lucky she could do this job anywhere. A sour taste of irony filled her mouth as she scanned the article. Patricia had given her the topic of falling in love, along with the following note. “I want this one to be full of pithy, sweet comments and cute notes. I mean it, Cassie.” Instead Cassie had filled it with questions, including a poll. Do you believe true love is real? Do you believe you’ve found it?

How did you know? Is love worth it? Can you live without love? The last question bothered her a little. I really need to make this less dark. Her finger hovered over the delete key. Instead, she hit a couple of smiley faces and interspersed them with hearts. She rolled her eyes and clicked Send, with a quick thought to Patricia, Please be patient just a little while longer. Cassie closed the laptop and reached for the old photograph from the nightstand. Leif’s front teeth were huge in his smiling mouth. She gave a soft smile. I hope you got to do what you wanted in your life, Leif. I hope you accomplished some of your dreams. Maybe I was a part of that. And then there was Luke, so somber, his hair hanging into his eyes. A wrinkle formed between her brows. But what about your dreams? You’re still alive. You could still have a chance to do whatever you want. The image of Luke drunk on his couch flickered through her mind. The best cop in the city, huh? Until life wrecked you. Her lip turned up sarcastically. Not that I’m one to talk. Gently, she tucked the photo back into a pocket of her purse. Absentmindedly, she rifled through the purse contents for her Life Savers, and peeled the package open. The first color was white. Her favorite. It’s a good sign. She stuck it in her mouth and straightened her shoulders, remembering the stubborn lines on Luke’s face when he shut the door. “Time to leave, sweetheart,” he’d said so dismissively. He had no plans to let her intrude in his life. But he needed help. He was drowning but didn’t want a lifeline. He needs a friend. Somehow, I know I can make him see life is worth living. He might be as stubborn as Leif was. She rolled the candy in her mouth. Well, he ain’t met stubborn yet. She set the laptop on the nightstand and lay back on the pillows. Tucking her hands behind her head, she stared up at the popcorn ceiling. What was he doing at the house anyway? What was he looking for? Can I find it?

CHAPTER 9

he room was pitch black when her cell rang. Cassie jerked awake, blinking in T the dark. Her heart thumped wildly as she tried to remember where she was. it.

The phone rang again. She rolled to the edge of the bed and blindly reached for

“Hello?” Her voice sounded scratchy and foreign in her ears. “Principessa?” She froze for a moment, then scrambled upright into a sitting position. “Luke?” A heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. It’s too early. But I had to call.” “What time is it? What’s going on?” She frowned suspiciously. “And how did you get my number?” She rubbed her eyes. It had been two days since she’d last seen him. Luke chuckled softly. “One of the perks of having friends on the police force. I searched your license plate. You left without introducing yourself.” “Hello? I was thrown out. I suppose now you know my name.” “Cassie.” He said it low, his voice sober and sorrowful. She licked her bottom lip. Waited. “I just called to tell you I’m sorry. And I wanted to thank you. The bible, it really does mean a lot to me. I’ve been thinking about you since that day. Been having a hard time sleeping, actually.” She resisted his soft tone. “How did you know my license plate number?” Another soft laugh. “I memorized it at the house. Old habits die hard.” “Why were you there that day? I mean, do you go there a lot?” He exhaled deeply. “I go to the end of the driveway. I’ve never been further.” “Never?” “You wouldn’t understand.” “Try me.” “You know what happened there?” “I—about Jennifer?” “Jennifer. Yes. I have plans later today, but meet with me tonight. I’d like to continue our conversation. And I promise, I’ll behave better this time.” “Okay….” Her eyes widened at the sudden rush of butterflies.

“I’ll pick you up. I’m afraid I searched out where you are staying too. I’ve been a rather busy investigator myself.” Cassie leaned back into the pillows. “What time?” “Eight o’clock. Wear something warm, okay?” “Not taking me out into Bigfoot country, are you? I don’t do night hikes.” She could hear his smile in his voice. “We’re going to the park. I’ll see you tonight.”

CASSIE DECIDED to visit the house again to fill in the time before meeting up with Luke. The house looked as dreary and awful as the last time she’d seen it. He’s never been back up to the house. How could he not come back even to say goodbye? Cassie’s car rolled to a stop at the end of the grassy driveway. She jerked the emergency brake into place. Scanning the woodsy area, she reached for her package of Life Savers, and peeled back the wrapper. Red this time. Still good. She popped it into her mouth and slowly climbed out of the car. Mist from the early morning softened the tops of the trees that stood near the house like black skeletons guarding a tomb. The air smelled wet and mulchy, still with a hint of smoke. Behind the house, Cassie caught a fog-softened glimpse of an old barn. From across the woods, the dog rattled on its chain. She could see it through the underbrush as it pulled its leash tight and stood watching her. “Nice doggy,” she whispered, igniting the animal into an eruption of barks and growls. “Whoops.” Ignoring the dog, Cassie walked to the edge of the house. She tried to see what the fire inspector had seen. The investigation into the fire had died without a whimper. She scooped her hair back into a ponytail as she surveyed the rest of the property. Even after all this time, it was obvious where the fire had started. The far back corner was decimated into nothing recognizable, the ash black like poison. Rain had pounded everything into a hard lava-looking surface. She shivered, rubbing at the goosebumps down her arms, and thought of Jennifer. Poor girl. Poor, poor girl. The last article Cassie had been able to find had stated that the theory was that Jennifer had come home early from work not feeling well, and had taken a nap. She’d slept through the start of the fire, succumbing to the eventual smoke inhalation. Cassie crossed her arms thoughtfully. It was an old house. It was possible there hadn’t been smoke alarms, and the wiring could have been faulty as the fire investigator had said. A mere coincidence that it happened only two weeks after the largest arms bust the county had seen in ten years.

“Possible, my left foot,” she muttered. She walked back to her car and popped open the trunk. Reaching in, she extracted a pair of rubber gloves and a plaid button-up shirt she’d purchased that morning from the Goodwill. Quickly she yanked on the shirt and buttoned it up. Her nose wrinkled as she pulled on the gloves, grimacing at their powdery insides. Then, she grabbed another prize from the store, a beat-up window screen. Slamming the trunk shut, she walked to the rear passenger door to grab her shovel. “Time to show me your secrets.” she muttered, igniting the neighbor’s dog again. She rolled her eyes and headed to the ash pile. Her feet slipped as she trudged back to the edge of the pile. Glancing around, she tried to map out where she thought the safest path through the house would be. Just find something, anything that might mean something to him. She blew hard, puffing out her cheeks. It would be easy to feel overwhelmed. With a deep sigh, she waded toward where her best guess said the kitchen would be. Using her shovel like a walking stick, she picked her way across the unstable debris. Her ankle turned as her foot slid under a board. A sharp stab of pain zipped up her leg, but she managed to stumble forward before her full weight could land on the ankle. “Gotta be more careful, Cassie,” she murmured. “There’s been enough pain spilled here.” She caught her balance only to have the board she was standing on collapse beneath her feet. “Okay, maybe that’s a sign that this is far enough then.” With a little trepidation, she dug her shovel in, coming up with a pile of rain-hardened ash. Shovel after shovel, still nothing. Sweat ran down her face and trickled along her spine. She pulled off one of the gloves to wipe under her eyes. Her skin felt sticky and her nails were rimmed in black. “So much for protection.” She swiped her face along the side of her shoulder before sliding the glove back on. As she dug, the stirred-up debris threw a scent in the air like the inside of a tarry old smoker. Wrinkling her nose, she pried at a board with the shovel acting as a lever. After flipping over the chunk of wood, she felt her first jolt of excitement. The square shape looked to be the remains of a cupboard. She picked and poked it apart with the edge of the shovel. Her blade hit something with a clink. Adrenaline flooded her veins. It sounded like metal. “Where’s the bucket?” She spun around looking for it. “You did not leave it in the car. Of course you did.” With a groan, she climbed out of the wreckage and stalked over to the car. She snatched the bucket from the back seat, glaring at it like it was its fault for being left behind, before returning to where her shovel stood jabbed into the debris. “You can do this, Cass,” she cheered herself on. Overhead a crow cawed. It was joined by another bird bouncing along the same branch. The black birds watched her with dead-looking eyes. “That’s not creepy or anything.” She glanced up at them. “Yeesh.”

Three big scoops were in the bucket when she dropped the shovel to retrieve her screen. Her steps were heavy with weariness, and she braced her hand against her lower back to relieve the strain. She propped the screen up against the cement steps, returning a minute later with the bucket of dirt. With a grunt, she carefully dumped half of its contents onto the screen. Running her gloved hands over the dirt and ash, she sifted it through the metal mesh. The load yielded nothing. With a wave of discouragement, she grabbed her bucket and returned to her shovel. Not going to be as easy as it sounded. Cassie repeated this process over and over again. Load after load of ash was pushed through the screen, creating a pyramid of debris beneath it on the ground. Her muscles screamed at her to give up. One more bucket. I’ve got this. As she cleared the ash, a golden sparkle emerged from the clumps of dirt. “What in the cat hair?” She stared at it before snatching it up. A grin broke across her face as she swiped at it with her shirt to clear the sticky soot. Slowly, a knotted chain emerged. She rubbed it again, feeling like she was trying to conjure up a genie. “Come on. Come on!” This time, the pendant became clearer, a crucifix. A grin crossed her face, and she laughed out loud. The noise startled the crows, who flew away, one after the other. She smiled as they left. “Good, all good.”

CHAPTER 10

L

uke pulled up outside the hotel at eight o’clock on the dot. His silver Camaro glimmered under the vacant sign and idled loudly. Cassie had been watching from the lobby and ran out to meet him. “Hey,” she said, as she breathlessly fell into the passenger seat. The car, or maybe Luke, reeked slightly of alcohol, but his hazel eyes sparkled clear and sober. “How are you feeling?” He took a deep breath in and shrugged. “I’m okay.” “You sure?” “Yeah. And I’ll keep saying it until it’s true.” Cassie raised her eyebrows at the last comment but let it pass. “Where we going, again?” “To Freymere’s city park. It’s kind of on the outskirts of town and has a pretty decent view of the sky.” She gave a doubtful nod. “Okay. Sounds good.” He took a swig off a plastic bottle. “Water, right?” she asked, eyeing the bottle. “Wow. You must really think I’m some kind of scumbag.” He started the car and dropped his arm across her seat, looking over his shoulder as he backed out of the stall. “No, I just, you know… don’t want to die or anything.” He flipped her a sarcastic look. “Yes, it’s water. Now, buckle up, sweetheart.” She ignored the tone and buckled the belt. The car leaped forward with a jump and she grinned. “Awesome car!” she yelled over the roar of the engine. He smiled. “Yeah, I’ve had this baby since I was a teenager.” “That old, huh?” “You’ve got the chops for compliments, I’m telling you.” She laughed and relaxed, feeling the power suck her into the seat. They raced up Main Street with the radio cranked, the bass vibrating through the seats. After a few minutes, the city fell away, with just their headlights cutting swathes in the darkness. He took a sharp right turn, leading them uphill through a small

housing development. A few more turns and they arrived at the park which was located at a dead end. Luke angled the Camaro to look out over the valley, and parked. Quiet settled over the car. Far below, the city glowed with orange sparkles. Cassie felt a tickle of anxiety in her stomach at the sudden silence. She shot him a quick side glance from the corner of her eye. “You want to get out?” Luke asked. Cassie nodded, and they both climbed from the car. He waited for her by the Camaro’s bumper. A breeze stirred her hair. She zipped her hoodie to her throat and pulled the hood up over her ears. “You cold?” “Kind of a bit.” He popped open his trunk and tugged out a flannel blanket. “You just conveniently had that back there?” Cassie asked. “Yeah, what’s the problem? You cold or what?” “Give it here.” She smiled and took the blanket from him, tucking it around her shoulders. “Thank you.” “Better?” he asked, his eyes focusing intently on hers. Man, he has gorgeous eyes. She shifted under his scrutiny. Quit staring, Cass! “Yep.” Together, they trudged toward the row of swings, the equipment gleaming in a wash of moonlight. “So, no easy way to say this. I was a jerk. I’m sorry.” Luke shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. The leather creaked as he moved. “Don’t worry about it.” They reached the swings, both grabbing one. Cassie gathered the blanket around her as she sat. Pushing off with one foot, she sent the swing gently in motion. Luke reclined back in his swing and stared up at the stars. His face was still, contemplative. “All so big, so vast. Makes all of us humans and our lives here seem like nothing.” The sky was rich black velvet dotted with millions of white diamonds. A smoky swatch cut through the middle of the sky. “The milky way.” Luke pointed. Cassie covered her mouth with the blanket and nodded. The blanket smelled of campfires and cologne. She sniffed it again and snuggled into it deeper. “And over there,” he said, indicating a group of stars, “is Orion’s belt. Follow his sword to Taurus.” “You know a lot of constellations.” “Those are the easy ones. Now look right there.” She lifted her chin, trying to follow the line of his finger. “Squint a bit. See that fuzzy patch? That’s a star cluster called the Seven Sisters. They’re a part of the constellation Taurus.” She squinted. “How do you know so much?”

He quickly glanced at her, before facing the sky again. “From my Cub Scout days. We had to learn all of this stuff. Leif and I were in a troop together.” “Aww,” At Leif’s name, Cassie’s heart squeezed. “I bet you two were cute Cub Scouts. Did you still have the little uniform?” He shook his head. “Laugh it up. You probably were a Brownie or something like that.” The air caught in her throat with a choke. “Ahhh, so I’m right? I knew it!” “No comment,” she murmured into the blanket. He smiled, his gaze brushing over her. “I want to hear more.” “Not a lot to tell. My big sister, Miranda, signed me up when I was six. I remember eating a lot of cookies.” “We had to sell popcorn. Leif had the big idea of selling it for a dollar more and pocketing the difference.” “He did not!” “Yeah, it would have worked for him too, but he sold the first tin to the mom of another Cub Scout. Our leader was not pleased.” His voice took a cold, indifferent tone. “It was pretty soon after that I ended up in a foster home.” Cassie’s attention fixed on the sky. Something about the darkness, the stars, made everything feel safe. Almost anonymous. “When was the last time you saw him?” He leaned back in the swing. “A long time ago. Nearly twenty years, I guess.” Her mouth fell open. “How old are you, anyway?” As soon as the words came out, she felt her face heat up. “Twenty-seven,” Luke said sarcastically. “Twenty-seven!” “Don’t say it like that. It’s not like I’m over the hill.” “No, I’m just surprised. Leif was—would have been twenty-four.” “Yeah, my little cousin.” “What happened, Luke? How did you end up in a foster home?” “Dad left my mom and me to go start a new family. Mom got sick. Stepmom didn’t want me. I come from good stock.” “Your mom?” Her words came out in a whisper. “Gone. My dad’s still kicking around somewhere. Not that I care.” “You ever try to get back into contact with him?” Luke looked at her like she was crazy, and she regretted the question. “Hell, no! He made his choices in life, just like I have to make mine.” Cassie frowned. “I’m sorry.” “Life. It is what it is.” “Why were you at the house that day?” A heavy exhale escaped his lips. The silence between them lengthened. Finally, he said, “I go there to look for a sign that wherever Jennifer is now, she’s okay. I’ve never been able to make it all the way from the driveway to the house since it

happened. Then, seeing you that day, I couldn’t help but hope.” “Hope what?” “That you were her, offering to forgive me.” Cassie felt the air rush from her lungs. “Luke….” “I know. I know.” His words were slow, as if he were trying to soothe her. She relaxed a bit, although her pulse still thrummed in her neck. “Although, I’ll admit, the whiskey did help to blind me.” “Um. How do I respond to that?” “You don’t need to,” he answered. Cassie crammed her hand into her pocket and felt the crucifix, the chain still in a tangled ball. She looked over at him. He rubbed his temples with one hand before blinking hard and staring back up at the sky. Slowly, she removed her hand, leaving the necklace behind. “It’s funny how you think you’re doing okay,” she said. Slowly, she twisted in the swing and the metal chain spiraled together. “Like, I’m past the worst of it. Then, out of the blue, some small thing will knock me to the knees. It could be a smell, or a song. Once it was this guy who looked just like Leif, driving a truck that passed me on the highway.” She smiled sadly. “I don’t know why. It’s like all rational thought left me in that moment, and I was convinced it was him. I actually sped to catch up to him.” “Not him.” “No, of course not. But I didn’t get to see Leif after he died. So a part of me still doesn’t completely believe, I think.” The story made her feel foolish. She released her footing and the swing twirled to unwind. When it stopped, she nervously glanced in his direction. Luke's eyes studied her intently. He nodded. “I get it. Once, I chased after a girl in the supermarket because she looked so much like Jennifer.” He clenched his eyes sheepishly. “I seriously thought they were going to call security. In my defense, I was pretty drunk that day.” “What did you do when you found out it wasn’t her?” “Ahh, apologized. Went home to my friend, Jack Daniels, and tried to drown out the embarrassment.” She reached over and rubbed the back of his hand which was hanging onto the swing’s chain. “It’s okay to grieve, Luke.” “You, too. Now do you feel better? It’s not just you.” “Yes, I guess so.” “You know, you’re the first person I’ve talked to who has any idea of what I’ve gone through." Cassie’s eyebrows flickered and she nodded. “But you’re surviving.” His voice held a hint of incredulousness. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one to call what I’ve been doing surviving.” She laughed sarcastically. “You don’t have hope?”

“I have ‘trying to take the next step, and then the next.’” “Weird, because being around you makes me feel something like hope.” He nudged his swing into motion. “I want that.” “Maybe I’m still living on the love Leif left behind. Maybe you can, too?” “I don’t know about that. Living on love sounds like a bad country song.” He grimaced. “You ready to get going?” Nodding, she stood up and gathered the blanket around her. Back in the car, she pushed the recline button, and the seat fell back with a clunk. The car’s engine hummed smoothly as Luke headed down to Freymere. After a minute, she yawned. Closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, Luke was gently shaking her shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered, as if trying not to scare her. “Wake up, Principessa.” Cassie opened her eyes, forgetting where she was for a moment. Shifting, she turned towards him. “I did not just fall asleep.” “Yeah, you did,” he said, with a slight smile. She sat up and looked around. “Where we going now?” His face lit up with a big grin. “You’ll see.”

CHAPTER 11

“Y our place, really?” Cassie glanced around the parking garage as she shut the

Camaro door. “That’s your surprise?” “Patience, Principessa.” Luke reached for her hand and led her into the lobby. Cassie’s hand felt strange inside his. It had been so long since a man had grabbed her hand and confidently led her anywhere. Guilt stabbed her, making her want to pull away. “I’m not sure I think patience is a good thing,” she murmured. He smirked back at her and drew her up the stairs. After fumbling with the keys for a minute, he finally opened the apartment door. Walking down the little hallway, she entered the studio area. The house was cleaner then when she’d been there before. The carpet had stripes from being vacuumed recently. She wandered over to look at the bookshelf, and checked out the books. Tucked into one of the shelves was a silver ornate frame that held a picture of a darkhaired young woman. The woman squinted as she smiled into the camera, her hand lifted to ward off the flash. Cassie traced the scrolling artwork of the frame with her finger. She held it up with raised eyebrows to Luke. “That’s Jennifer.” His words were clipped, as he spun for the kitchen area. His hand trailed down the neck of a bottle of Crown Royal sitting on the counter. He pushed it away and reached for something under a stack of mail. Cassie carefully returned the frame to the shelf, aligning it with its dust-free outline. “She was beautiful.” He gave a noncommittal grunt. Cassie looked around the apartment for the thing she’d seen the last time she’d been there. Still tucked in the corner was the black Gibson guitar. “You play?” She pointed at the instrument. Following the direction of her finger, he nodded. “It’s been a while.” “I’ve always wanted to play. Does it have a name?” Luke raised his eyebrow curiously. “How’d you know it has a name?” She shrugged. “Don’t all great guitarists name their guitars?” He walked over to the Gibson and hefted it off the stand. His fingers softly

strummed a chord. “Lucy. She’s pretty out of tune now. I need to get some new strings.” Sighing, he set it back. “I have something I wanted to show you.” Luke stepped back toward the counter and picked up the thing he’d been fumbling for earlier. A patch. Gold threads fluttered from its unraveled edges like sunrays. He walked back to the bookshelf. “It’s for compass navigation.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Leif and I were competing over who would get theirs first. That little creep won.” Cassie reached for it. She spun the patch in her hands, imagining seven-yearold Leif’s triumphant smile when he received it. “I bet he really rubbed it in.” “Yeah.” Luke laughed. “He sure did. He gave it to me, later, when we found out I was moving.” “Awww,” Cassie murmured. She passed it back. “I have something for you too.” Sliding her hand into her pocket, Cassie caressed the pendant. Her fingers closed around it as she drew it out. “Another gift?” She held it out to him. Arching an eyebrow, he slowly opened his hand. Cassie noticed the callouses across his palm, as well as a deep red scar that disappeared up the sleeve of his long johns top. She shivered, suddenly afraid of his reaction, then turned her hand over and dropped the crucifix into his palm. Luke stared at it for a moment. A ragged breath escaped him and he pressed his eyes shut. “Where did you find this?” he growled. “I—at the house.” “Why’d you go back there?” Cassie swallowed hard, fear making a cold track down her back. “You said you hadn’t been back. I wanted to see if I could find something for you. I’m sorry there wasn’t more.” She bit her lip. Luke exhaled deeply out of his nose, his eyes still shut. His thumb caressed the pendant, turning it over in his hand. He looked down at it for a second before bringing up a blazing glare to meet her. His eyes were rimmed in red. “You had no right.” A shudder went through him, and his hand clenched around the crucifix. His knuckles turned white from the effort. “No right.” Cassie stumbled back. “I’m sorry, Luke. I thought it would help you. Help to have—” “Help me how?” “A memento.” The softness of her voice seemed to catch him off guard, making him stop and glance at her. “Ahh, hell.” He dropped the pendant on the table with a clatter. On his way to the couch, he reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table. He sagged down onto the cushions as though his muscles had lost their strength. Unscrewing the cap, he took a long swig. His eyes were bloodshot when he turned

his attention back to her. “A memento, huh?” He eyed the crucifix on the table. “Jennifer was a good girl. Used to drag me to church, too. I quit after she died. Didn’t know where to put God in all of that.” Cassie nervously tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded. “You don’t have to tell me life doesn’t make sense. But—” “But what?” “Life does have a beauty to it that I can’t explain.” “Not so beautiful for Leif, though, right?” His lip curled sarcastically. Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know. Leif died doing what he loved. Not everyone gets to say that.” She sat next to him on the couch. “You still mad at me?” His lip twitched at her words. “How can I be mad when you were trying to do something to help me?” He reached for the pendant, his fingers running along the knotted chain. A frown grew on his face. “But this isn’t Jennifer’s.”

CHAPTER 12

“N ot hers?” Cassie blinked at his words.

“No.” Luke glared at the pendant. “Tell me exactly where you found this.” He slid forward to the edge of the chair. His leg jiggled up and down, causing his shoe to squeak against the floor. Cassie sat back on the couch, trying to take in the implications. “I—in the kitchen area, I think.” “Tomorrow I want you to show me the spot where you found it. I’ll pick you up at noon.” Cassie eyed the whiskey bottle already halfway to his mouth. “How about I drive this time?”

PROMPTLY AT NOON, Cassie pulled into the parking garage at the apartment building. She hurried up the stairwell. This time, the hallway smelled of boiled cabbage. Wrinkling her nose, she knocked on Luke’s door. With her other hand, she tapped a package of guitar strings against her leg. No answer. She knocked harder, and got only silence as a response. Dread rolled in a wave in Cassie’s stomach. Where the heck is he? Her third try resulted in a thud of footsteps, and then the door creaked open a sliver. Luke’s face appeared at the crack. Two bruise-like smudges spread out from under his eyes. He looks like death. “Are you okay?” The anxious wave continued to roll inside her. Luke stepped away from the door, leaving Cassie to push it all the way open. The door stopped with a jerk. Looking down, she saw a twisted mess of clothing jammed underneath it. Shoving her weight against it, she snowplowed the pile until the crack was wide enough for her to squeeze through. Luke had already stumbled down the hall and lay sprawled out on the couch. The blinds were drawn; the apartment felt like a cave. Alcohol fumes permeated the air.

“What have you done, Luke?” His hand covered his eyes, fingers squeezing lightly at the temples. “Sorry, Cassie. Not feeling too good.” “Are you going to be sick?” She set down the guitar strings and hurried over. “If this room doesn’t quit spinning.” His face was pale and clammy. Cassie took a deep breath. “Come on. Let’s get you to the bathroom.” Luke nodded weakly. His breathing became more rapid as he struggled to stand. She pulled his arm over her shoulders and lifted, staggering under his weight. “Dear God,” she groaned, before looping her fingers under his belt and pulling him along. In the bathroom he stumbled forward, hands landing on the counter for balance and leaned over to retch into the toilet. “I’ll just be a sec.” Cassie patted his shoulder before running to the kitchen. After grabbing a dish towel, she quickly wet it with cold water. When she returned, Luke was resting his forehead against the side of the porcelain bowl. “How you doing, buddy?” she asked as she laid the towel against his neck. Trying to hide a grimace, she quickly flushed the toilet. “Never better, Principessa,” he murmured. Sweat beaded the white strip of skin visible on the back of his neck. A long shudder ran through his body as he exhaled. Cassie crouched behind him and rubbed his shoulders in small circles. The tension in his back was like steel. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay,” she whispered, carefully kneading into the muscle. With a groan, he pushed away from the toilet and leaned into her arms. His weight forced her against the wall, and they awkwardly sat together. Luke rested his head against her shoulder. Moving the washcloth from his neck, she held it against his forehead. “Better?” Another groan answered her question as his eyes fluttered closed. “Why do you do this? Why do you drink like this?” she asked. “Drink like what?” “Until you puke,” she answered dryly. “Last night was hard. The memories. Sometimes it’s just easier to drink than to live.” “I’m worried now. Where’s your gun?” “I don’t have a gun.” Cassie’s hands trembled as she grabbed his arm. “Don’t lie to me. Where is it?” “You don’t need to worry about my gun. The force made me return my service pistol. I’ve never replaced it.” He shook his head almost imperceptibly. “That thing was as familiar to me as my own hands.” Relaxing, Cassie stroked his wrist. “You know, there are programs to help people out when they need it.” “Wait. You think I’m an alcoholic, don’t you?” “The thought had crossed my mind.” Her eyebrow arched sarcastically. Cassie gently wiped his face again. His cheeks slowly grew some color.

Luke snorted. Pushing his hips back, he sat more upright against her. “I’m no alcoholic. I just can’t face myself anymore. When I look like this….” He gestured to his sweaty face, eyes hidden in dark pockets. “I can stand it. This is how I should look.” Cassie’s stomach clenched at his words. A tear ran down her cheek, and she ducked her head. Sniffing, she wiped it away before squeezing Luke even tighter. “Are you telling me you try to make yourself look like a drunken bum because you think you deserve it? How can you even think that? That’s horrible, and it isn’t true. Not even a little bit.” His turned his head and watched her carefully, taking in her every expression. “I wish I could see the world through your eyes, remember what it was like when everything was so simple. So good. But you don’t know me.” Cassie touched his cheek, turning his face upward. Her gaze locked on to his. “You don’t know me, either.” The energy in the room intensified. “Tell me,” he whispered. “You think you’re the only one with regrets, Luke?” Cassie shuffled him in her arms to get more comfortable. “Really? You can’t honestly think that.” She leaned her head against the wall and studied the cabinet in front of her. “Everyone has regrets.” “What could a little girl like you have regrets about?” “I have lots. And if you call me little girl again, one of my regrets will be strangling you with this towel.” Cassie wrapped the towel around his neck jokingly. “Don’t make me punch a sick man.” He rolled his eyes. “You got an answer then, tough girl?” She sucked in her breath, as memories spun in her mind. “I don’t even know where to begin. Where I want to begin. If I want to begin.” Her hands twisted the towel before tossing it up into the sink. “Leif,” she said. “I feel guilty that I can’t remember what he looks like. I try. It’s like who he was dissolved into waves of color and emotions after he died. I remember the warmth of his hand squeezing mine, and his sharp laugh, how it startled me every time he thought something was really funny. I see flashes of him, his red hair. Us lying on the hood of his car looking up at the clouds. But everything is fading.” She paused. “I feel guilty, you know? We both changed during those years apart. He—” This hurts so much! Luke’s going to hate me after I tell him this. “I think I was falling out of love. I didn’t want to admit it. And I think Leif could tell.” Cassie took another deep breath. “A year before he left, we were expecting a baby together. But the baby died. Our son died. And, three years later, here I am left alone. The little family I thought I was so lucky to have is gone. And it’s my fault for falling out of love. Why was I chosen to continue to live? How is that fair?” She licked a tear that had fallen on her bottom lip. “And now I don’t know what to do. If I go on with my life, and let him go like everyone is telling me to, then I’m the worst person ever.”

“Cassie—” No,” she blurted at his protest. “You don’t realize how ultimately selfish I am. Because I have a fear now. Will people let me go and forget me when I die?” Luke’s hand rose up her arm, warm and soothing. “Shhhhh, shhh. I get it. I understand.” He turned his cheek into her neck. “It’s not your fault he died. No one is going to forget Leif, and no one is going to forget you. I think we are eternal, and it’s the eternal part of Leif you are remembering. But he’s moved on. It isn’t easy for those of us left behind to move forward, but you will.” “Me? What about you?” His hand paused on its downward stroke to her wrist. “I have a different kind of guilt. You asked me once why I go to the house.” Raising his head, he arched his eyebrow at her, looking like he was waiting to see what she would say. “You said you try to talk to Jennifer.” “I try.” His last words fell from his lips, light but dangerously like the edge of a knife blade. A response was needed—the right response. “Does she listen?” “She says I failed. That I thought I was some big-shot cop sent to protect the people, when I couldn’t even protect her.” Again, that knife blade, its edge against the skin. Cassie massaged his bicep softly, trying to think of how to begin. “From everything you’ve said before, Jennifer sounded like she was a happy woman. And that voice sounds loud and condemning, not like you’ve described her at all. Are you sure that voice isn’t your own guilt?” “Everyone has their demons.” “But you can refuse them, once you recognize what they are. You don’t have to embrace the guilt.” “Look who’s talking.” She impatiently brushed her curly hair away from her face. Her earring snagged the cuff of her shirt sleeve. A squeal slipped out of her mouth as the earring yanked on her earlobe. “Mother of—” A look of concern crossed his face. “What’d you do?” “Help! I’m stuck!” She reached for the earring to untangle it from the delicate threads of the seam. Luke sat up away from her and twisted around to face her. “Hold on. Quit squirming. Move your fingers out of the way.” His hands tucked her hair away. Slowly, he started to untangle it. “Ow!” “Hold still. Almost have it.” With a snap, the earring came free. A small grin flickered across his mouth. “Like I said, demons.” “Shut up. Being clumsy is a terrible example. I was talking about believing lies.” “Well, you already know how I keep the demons out of my head.” He gestured toward the living room. “My friends Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.”

“And how’s that been working out for you, hmm?” He let out a small chuckle. “Not well, not well at all. I think maybe it’s time for me to rejoin the living. Find some friends who don’t mind threatening me with bodily harm.” “That’s the job description? I think I’ve got that covered.”

CHAPTER 13

ecause of how sick Luke had been, they took the next few days slowly, instead B of rushing to scavenge through the memories and ruins at the house. They spent

time at the park again and explored the neighborhood. Twice, they met for coffee. Cassie talked Luke into restringing his guitar. Tonight, he played a song that he’d written while she made dinner. Taco salad, her specialty. His fingers slid along the strings, his foot lightly tapping to the beat. Cutting the lettuce, she looked over her shoulder at him as he played, enjoying the new confident smile stretching across his face. Luke looked up and caught her staring. “You know, Principessa, you have the bluest eyes.” Cassie smiled and glanced down. Whoops. The lettuce pile was enormous. She’d diced the entire head, listening to him. “Why do you call me that?” His dark eyebrows raised. “Principessa. You called me that when you first met me.” “It means princess. You looked like a princess that day. The mist clinging to your body. The highlights in your hair somehow catching that one single ray of sunlight that broke through the clouds. So brave, royal.” She couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out. “Royal… that’s probably the first time anyone’s called me that. But I like it.” After dinner, she gave him a thumbs up, ignoring his shaking hands as he emptied the last of the bottles of alcohol down the sink. “Is it safe?” She came up behind him, resting her hand on his back. His eyebrows crinkled. “Safe?” “I mean, I heard it can be dangerous to quit cold turkey.” He set the bottle with the others in the trash and started to tie the bag. “Yeah, it’s safe. But thanks for checking on me.” His arm draped across her shoulders and drew her into a hug. She settled against his chest as a flurry of emotions battled through her. Broad shoulders, strong—he smelled like beechwood and cinnamon. His heartbeat thumped under her ear. So wonderful. A stab of guilt. So different from Leif. She played with one of the buttons on his shirt. “Luke, who else can we call?”

“Hmmm?” His voice vibrated through his chest. “To help support you. It can’t just be me.” His hand, warm against her back, slid down to her waist. “I’ll call Trevor. Let him know.” “Trevor?” “Yeah. My old partner.” “You going to be okay when I leave tonight?” “I’ll be fine. You okay staying at the hotel?” “Yeah, home away from home. Can’t beat the coffee, and they have a Belgian waffle maker.” “You still planning to stay for a while?” “You need a friend. I need a friend. I’m in this for the long haul.” “Great. Because I’m all about waffles.”

HER CELL PHONE rang at eight the next morning. “Rise and shine. I’m needing a waffle!” “Why are you so chipper in the morning?” Cassie groaned. “It’s evil, I swear.” “Aww, so sweet. You had me at evil. Now get up, because we’ve got some stuff to do today.” Half an hour later, Cassie met him in the lobby. Today, he wore a black fitted tshirt and jeans. Keeping an eye on the front desk clerk, Cassie led him into the continental breakfast bar. “What are you looking so guilty for? Sneaking me in?” His eyebrow rose at her nod. “You’re practically a desperado.” True to his word, he headed straight for the waffle maker. “First time I’ve had a hot breakfast in over a year.” After they ate, he slipped the crucifix from his pocket. “Time to figure out what this is all about.” Their first stop was at Werner Jewelers. “The owner is Darrell,” Luke mentioned as they climbed out of the Camaro. “I used to work with him from time to time years back.” “Why would you do that?” “Identifying jewelry, investigations, stuff like that.” Luke removed the necklace from his pocket and tossed it into the air. Catching it, he continued. “He loves a good mystery.” The bell over the door jangled as they walked in. Cassie blinked under the bright lights. “If they put any more lightbulbs in this place the power plant’s going to have a brown-out,” she whispered to Luke. Situated in a u-shape around the edges of the room, the glass display cases sparkled like they held ice-fire. “Hello!” a male voice called from the office area of the building. Cassie tore her

gaze away from a diamond tiara sitting front and center on a red velvet stand. “Hey, Darrell,” Luke said, resting his hands on the counter. A short man walked behind the counter. His bald spot shone under the lights, and a bit of graying hair grew from ear to ear across the back of his head. He adjusted small round glasses higher on his nose to study them. His mouth dropped. “Luke?” Darrell chuckled. “Young man! Long time no see! How are you doing?” “I’m hanging in there.” Drawing an arm around Cassie, Luke continued. “This is my friend, Cassie.” “Ohh.” Darrell glanced at Cassie before shooting a knowing grin at Luke. “What are we here for, today, hmmm?” “Uh, sorry to disappoint you. But it’s not for us. We’re hoping you can help identify a piece of jewelry.” Luke slid the necklace across the counter to the jeweler. “Oh,” Darrell glanced down before gingerly picking up the tangled chain. “What happened here?” “A fire.” Luke cleared his throat. Darrell studied Luke’s face for a moment before turning his attention back to the necklace. “I see.” He pulled out his loupe from under the counter and began to examine it. Holding it close, he turned the cross over in his hands. “Hmmm,” he hummed. Cassie twisted the back of her earring impatiently. “Well?” she finally asked. Luke gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Give him a minute.” The jeweler clinked the loupe against the counter. “Well, young man. You brought me a treasure this time. This isn’t an ordinary crucifix. It’s a rosary. Once, there were scored wood beads on this chain. The fire must have burned them away.” He turned it over, staring hard it again. “Let me look something up, I’ll be right back.” He scurried to the office and a few minutes later they heard him give a triumphant yell. Darrel returned in a fluster to the counter. His face flushed with excitement as he pointed to an engraving on the back. Handing the loupe to Luke, he continued. “You see that carving there? It tells me this was blessed by Pope Pius VII, after he was taken by Napoleon. This rosary belongs in a museum. How did you get this? You have something very special in your hands, Luke. Something very rare.” Luke’s jaw clenched. “It’s a family heirloom. Thank you, Darrell.” “What?” Darrell expression fell with confusion. “That’s the scoop? Tell me there’s more to the story than that.” Taking Cassie’s hand, Luke led her to the exit. “That’s the story, Darrell. I’ll see you soon. Thanks again.” He waved, as he hurried out the door, dragging Cassie behind him. “Do you have an idea who this belongs to?” “Yep. Time to go to the house.”

LUKE PARKED the car at the top of the driveway. He cracked his neck and took a couple deep breaths before getting out. Cassie watched him through the passenger window. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the house from under lowered eyebrows. The thick overcast clouds brought a gray gloom. The sky looked ready to open up and grieve with him. Cassie grabbed her jacket from the back seat and followed him. When she got next to him, she laid her hand on his arm, hoping to give him strength. He gave her a small smile, and they slowly started through the thick grass. From next door, the dog’s barking began in a fevered pitch. “My old friend,” Cassie said with a wry grin at the dog. Turning, she gestured to where the screen still sat tilted against a remaining block of foundation. “That’s where I found it.” The rain had caused the remaining dirt to cake on the surface of the screen like adobe. Cracks lined the mud from where it had dried out. She picked off a corner of the mud and crumbled it softly in her hand. Biting her lip, she watched Luke carefully. His forehead creased and his eyes shifted quickly as if in fear of what he might see. He took a deep breath and reached for her hand. “This is the first time I’ve been back here sober.” He swallowed, his gaze holding hers as the silence between them grew. Cassie nodded. The silence was filled with words only two grieving hearts could hear. Softly, she stroked the back of his hand. “I’m here.” His hand, so much bigger than her own, gave hers a gentle squeeze. “I know, Principessa.” Releasing her, Luke wandered into the remains of the house, until he stood where the kitchen had once been. “Ahh, Jennifer.” The word came in a low whisper. He laced his fingers against the back of his neck and squeezed his eyes tight. “I want to cuss so bad, to tear every remaining piece of this building apart,” he whispered in a strangled voice. “But I can’t. Because that would disrespect her. Be disrespectful to her love for me. To what happened here that day.” The clouds let loose a light rain, making the forest leaves rustle around them. Cold drops hit her bare legs below her shorts. Cassie pulled up her hood and tucked her hands deep into her pockets. She could barely speak around the lump in her throat. She shifted uncomfortably, her emotions warring between wanting to make it better for him, and the sharp way that his pain nipped at the heels of her own gnawing grief. “I’m so sorry, Luke.” “I’m okay.” His red-rimmed eyes caught hers again. “I’ll be okay.” With a deep sigh, he rolled his shoulders to release tension. After a moment, he rubbed his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw line. When he looked up again, his face was emotionless. Cassie knew it was a lie. She’d hidden behind that mask so many times herself. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but knew just a touch could crumble the whole facade. “I get the mess of emotions.” Cassie paused to take a breath. “For the longest time, there’s been a hollow spot where Leif was. Empty, like I can’t take in enough

air. Sometimes, even now, I still suck in a big lungful of air to see if I can fill it.” “I understand.” He hung his head before pointing to the blackest part of the ash. “They found her over there.” He stiffened as he spoke. “The fire was so intense that I know her death was quick.” He pushed over a piece of lumber over with his foot. “Seems like yesterday. Seems like an eternity ago. When Jennifer died, I swore to myself I’d never forget. It was my job to protect her. I wanted to die too.” “You came awful close to succeeding.” “And now I owe you one.” Cassie tried to lighten the mood. “Don’t worry, I’ll figure out a payment plan.” Luke studied the backyard, his gaze taking in the old barn and surrounding trees. “One of the last times I saw her, she was telling me to uproot the entire lawn.” A hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “She had some big idea to plant a garden and be self-sufficient. Poor thing couldn’t even keep a house plant alive.” “Sounds like we had something in common because I’ve got the same green thumb.” She zipped up her jacket against the rising breeze. “Funny how powerful those last memories are, that seem kind of meaningless at the time. One of the last times I saw Leif, he was challenging me to a polar bear dive. I mean, really? It was twenty degrees that day. Do I look like someone who likes to get cold to you?” Cassie burrowed her face into her jacket. “I should have taken him up on it. Made him go first, and then just declared him the winner.” “Yeah, that sounds like my cuz.” Luke gave a small smile back. “He was always a knucklehead.” Cassie laughed out loud, and the sound startled her. Her smile slipped. “Sorry,” she whispered. “I’m here to support you, but I’m not being that much help.” “You’re allowed to have memories too, you know. You don’t need my permission. I’m sure as hell not going to tell you to get over it.” He wiped his face clear of the drops of rain. “Ah, Jennifer. I’ve got the rosary now. I don’t know how, but I’m going to figure out what happened here that day. And I’m going to make them pay.” Sunlight broke through the clouds, shining a brilliant shaft through the blackened trees and wreckage. The burned house sparkled all around them with a million points of light as the raindrops caught the sun’s reflection. “Luke, do you see that?” “Yeah.” “I think that might be your sign, buddy. I think she’s saying she’s doing all right.” Cassie turned to smile at him. “I think she’s saying, Now it’s your turn.” Luke’s breath hitched as she continued. “Your turn to be all right.” His eyes drew her in as he walked toward her until he was by her side, towering over her. Swallowing, she broke the eye contact. What am I doing? Don’t open your heart up! Cass, tell me it’s not too late. Luke cleared his throat. “You keep saying all the right stuff. It’s disarming.”

Together they turned and headed back to the car. He unlocked the car door for her before gently caressing her arm. “Come here.” His voice was low. Her warning alarms fired, soon silenced by excitement ricocheting inside like a couple of wild racquet balls. She slowly leaned toward him. The rain lightly sprinkled their faces, but neither let it break their eye contact. He tipped her chin up, resting his forehead against hers. He paused, his lips a hairsbreadth from her own. Gently, he breathed out. The warm air brushed her lips and sent shivers down her back. “Do you feel that?” he asked. Her pulse raced. “That empty space inside of you filling?” Softly, he pressed his lips against hers. Her heart jumped even as she melted into him. Slowly pulling away, he whispered, “We’re both going to be all right.”

CHAPTER 14

he next night found them standing outside the Freymere high school at nine T o’clock in the evening. Cassie couldn’t wait to dig into the story behind the crucifix,

but it would have to wait. There were more pressing issues they had to address. Luke wanted to stay sober. And tonight there was an AA meeting being held at the school. “I’m not sure I need to be here.” Luke’s lips tightened. His hands remained rammed in his jeans pockets rather than reaching for the door handle. “Don’t go, then. I’m not going to make you. You need to do this for yourself,” Cassie answered, as she rummaged through her purse for her pack of Life Savers. He leaned to peer through the rectangular window of the school entrance. Fluorescent light spilled out, making his face appear paler than it really was. His knuckles shown white as he grabbed the handle. Time ticked quickly, marked by the pulse in her throat. Is he going to do it? Is he ready for this? Come on, buddy, you’re worth it. Fight for yourself! Rolling his neck, he cracked it on both sides before yanking open the door. The bright light framed his silhouette as he looked back. “You coming?” “You want me to?” His lip curled at the corner. “Who else is going to kick me into gear if I’m not honest?” Cassie glanced down at her feet, clad in run-down cowboy boots. “I do have the boots for the job.” Luke opened the door wider. “Come on in then, tough girl.” Slowly, he reached out with his other hand and grabbed hers. She wanted to tell him he’d be okay, but he had his take-no-crap face on. He’d be insulted if she said anything. So, instead, she curled her hand around his even more and squeezed gently. His response was immediate. The grip tightened until it felt like he was drowning in a sea and she was his lifeline to shore. She loved the way it felt. Fear flickered inside. This is starting to go too far. Pull back, Cass. You’re opening up too much, and you know what happens then. Like one of those cartoon angels perched on her shoulder, she argued against herself. He needs me. Maybe I need him?

They walked down the hallway, past a wall of peeling yellow lockers. The school’s smell brought her back to her high school years—a cross between antiseptic cleaner, old books, and dirty gym shoes. The heels of her boots made confident thumps on the worn white linoleum. A mop bucket sat outside one of the rooms, alongside a trash cart. A janitor, rigged out in a green jumpsuit, emerged from the room. His gaze swept over them as they walked by, before he turned to lock the door with his giant ring of keys. Luke gave the janitor a wary look before jutting his jaw forward. Cassie could feel his guarded attention at every doorway. Once a cop, always a cop. Taped to the wall at end of the hallway was a paper sign, emblazoned with the initials AA, a red arrow pointing to the right. Without hesitating, Luke dragged Cassie along. Another sign indicated the room where the meeting was. After taking a deep breath, Luke flung open the door. It slammed against the wall. Conversation cut off inside the room at the sharp noise. At least twenty people waited in there, some sitting at the desks, others standing in small groups. All eyes turned in their direction, and Cassie felt her face heat. Luke cleared his throat before giving a small nod in the group’s general direction. He quietly shut the door behind them. Gripping Cassie’s hand tighter, he led her to a pair of empty seats in front of a long table, its top scored with names, curse words, and hearts. Cassie sat down and grabbed her necklace, running the pendant across her lip. Her eyes itched to look around the room. Where are you going to look, Cass? What if you catch someone’s eye? She focused on her boots instead. “Good evening, everyone! Welcome. My name is Dave,” a male announced from a few seats away. She guessed from his fading blond hair that he was in his early forties. His white Oxford shirt stretched tight over his round stomach, before being tucked into gray business pants. “There’s some coffee over there. I think we have creamer, too. Betty? Did you pack creamer?” He addressed a middle-aged brunette sitting across from him. She folded her hands in her lap and nodded. Luke’s leg jittered under the table, and he reached for Cassie’s bare knee below her skirt. She jumped under his tight squeeze and shifted her leg to look. “Sorry,” he whispered. Seeing her leg, he cringed and rubbed at the red fingermarks. “Also, we have some doughnuts that Cecily made. And they’re awesome. Not that I would know.” Dave patted his stomach and laughed. Light chuckles sprang out in the room. “There you go, Luke. You like doughnuts, don’t you?” Cassie nudged his hand. “Don’t be shy. I’ve heard all about how cops like them.” His eyebrows slowly raised, and he frowned at her. Uh-oh. Have I gone too far with my teasing? “Fine.” She held her hands up. “I’m just saying, I’ve watched Wreck-It Ralph. I know how it works.” “Wreck it what?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t watch cartoons. You had a box of Cap’n Crunch sitting on your counter.” “I’m not following the logic,” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Dave loudly read from a bulletin. “Everyone knows a big bowl of Cap’n Crunch can only be eaten in front of cartoons.” Luke rolled his eyes and moved his hand, but not without giving her leg a little pinch first. Cassie chanced a glance around the meeting. Several people held books. One woman sipped from a Starbucks cup, her slim form clad in a cream-colored tailored suit. She caught Cassie’s eye and smiled, crossing her leg and showcasing an expensive leather high heel. Most of the people looked like soccer parents, including one fit man who could have been a clone of her old soccer team coach. None of them looked like alcoholics. Luke leaned back in his metal chair and entwined his fingers behind his head. He looked more relaxed already. “All right, let’s call this meeting to order,” Dave said, as he crossed his legs. “I’ll go first.” His voice deepened. “Ready to pray?” Dave took in the nods around the room before nodding back. Cassie gulped and bowed her head, closing her eyes. “Oh God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.”

AT THE END of the meeting, Luke stood and stretched. He reached out a hand to help Cassie up, giving a fake grunt as he pulled her to her feet. She rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease. If you think I’m that heavy, the next stop is the gym.” “I better do something, after the doughnut addiction you accused me of having.” She smiled and ran her hand down his arm. “What did you think of the meeting?” “It, uh.…”Across the room, one of the men caught Luke’s eye and waved. “Be right back,” Luke said as he walked over to him. Cassie tried to be inconspicuous as she watched, smiling to herself when she saw a grin spread across Luke’s face. At the end of the men’s conversation, Luke shook the man’s hand warmly. When he returned, his eyes had lost their wariness. “Who was that?” Cassie asked. He grabbed her hand. “Let’s get out of here.” On the way out, he hooked one of the doughnuts off the tray. “Bite?” He offered.

Cassie shook her head. “Did you know that guy?” “How could you tell?” He crammed half the doughnut into his mouth. “Usually you have your guard way up when you talk to people. You looked comfortable.” He swallowed, their footsteps echoing in the hall. “Geez, I’m that easy of a read, huh? So much for my detective skills. Yeah, he’s a colleague. An old colleague. He offered to be my sponsor.” His face flickered with bemusement. “I never knew he used to drink. He was really glad to see me.” “Luke, you’re a great guy. I have a feeling you’re going to be getting more of that reaction. I know people have missed you since you decided to become a cavedweller.” He opened the door that led outside, his hand resting on her back. The moon was brilliant in the clear night sky. “I’ve been checked out for a while, that’s for sure. Lost a few battles.” Pulling her close, he kissed her. She ran her fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. Let me have this. I don’t want to think any more. “And you,” he murmured against her lips, the pad of his finger tracing along her cheek, “have reminded me that sometimes life isn’t about the battle we face. It’s how we win the war.”

CHAPTER 15

-C offee 7am no excuses

-ps I’ll bring the doughnuts. Cassie read the texts from Luke one more time before falling back onto her pillow with a groan. She’d gotten the texts late last night, and had reluctantly set her alarm for six. A sober Luke was turning out to be a hyper Luke. A driven Luke. Hello, the sun isn’t even up. She rolled to face the hotel’s black-out curtains. They betrayed her by showing a brilliant strip of light. Barely up. She’d been awake until after two in the morning rushing to complete the next article set for Celebrity Blog. Patricia had been encouraging of the last two columns, sending Cassie a note: “Something’s changing! You’re turning the corner. I knew you could do it!” Cassie’s eye lids grew heavy and slowly closed. Just one more minute…. Her phone rang, blaring out Crazy by Gnarls Barkley, the tune she’d assigned to Luke. Whimpering, she flapped her hand around the table for the phone. “I’m up! I’m up!” she complained, forgoing the hello. “You want glazed? Jelly-filled?” “I want another hour of sleep. But I’ll take an old-fashioned instead.” “Another hour? Please. It’s getting late!” “Actually, I want three hours, but I’m willing to compromise.” “Come on, Principessa. I’ll have a cup of coffee waiting to perk you up. Time to figure out where that rosary came from. Bad guys don’t wait.” “See you in the lobby in an hour,” she grumbled, and rubbed at her eyes. “Forty-five minutes. Hurry, or I’ll eat your doughnut.” Cassie tossed her phone on the counter. The happy flutter inside faded into a wave of heaviness. Emotions were getting too real. Cass, what are you doing with him, seriously? Feeling confused, she jumped in the shower. The shampoo bottle only had an inch left at the bottom, and even more disturbing was the empty conditioner container. Beautiful. My hair is going to puff like a freaking dandelion. Afterward, she eyed the hotel hair dryer before deciding against it. Instead, she quickly twisted her hair into a bun.

Cassie applied a thin coat of mascara and dabbed on her favorite lip gloss. She checked her phone for the time. Fifteen minutes left. Hands on her hips, she surveyed her suitcase. What do I have left to wear that Luke hasn’t seen yet? Not much. With a sigh, she shook out the wrinkles in her blue t-shirt, and then reached for her jeans. Dressed, she shoved her feet into her cowboy boots, grabbed her purse, and searched for her pack of Life Savers. Half of a pack left. Too early for candy? She peeled back the wrapper. Green. Frowning, she chucked it into the trash. “Ain’t nobody got time for lime.” After another glance at her phone, she snatched up her hoodie and her hotel key, and jetted out the door.

THE TWO OF them sat on stools at the coffee bar. Luke took a sip from his cup and grimaced. He quickly snagged two packages of sugar. “Hey, I have a question. How have you been able to afford to stay so long at the hotel?” Cassie grinned and bit into her doughnut. “I know people in high places.” “Huh?” “My brother-in-law and sister are loaded. They’d rather help me stay in a hotel, where they think there’s some security, than have me sleeping in my car.” “You’d sleep in your car?” Cassie shifted uncomfortably. “I had to play all my cards, Luke. My sister was pretty concerned about me coming to find you. The whole ‘we worry,’ and stuff.” “So? You’re an adult.” “My sister’s been more of a mom to me than anything else when I was growing up. She’s doing better, but those mom-feels run strong.” She tore her doughnut into three pieces. “Plus I have some life insurance from my dad. And my job can be done pretty much anywhere. Or I hope I still have a job.” She popped a piece into her mouth. “Why wouldn’t you?” “Mmm,” She quickly swallowed. “My line of work is about describing love, falling in love. Kind of hard to do when all you want to do is run away from life.” He studied her. “Leif died over a year ago. How long since you’ve last seen him?” “Almost three years.” she whispered. “And you?” “Principessa, my situation is completely different.” “Two years, right? Two years, and you seem….” He winced. “Like everything still hurts.” she finished. “Yeah, I still hurt. But I’m learning that life is about not wasting any of the love we get.” Grimacing, she held up the doughnut chunk. “Sorry for the depressing conversation. It’s what you get when you force me to wake up this early in the morning.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Luke smiled and reached out to cup her chin. “I’m glad you’re here.” He kissed her lightly. Definitely better than a Life Saver. “So, tell me why we had to wake up at this awful hour.” “We’re meeting my old partner, Trevor, before his shift. I have an idea of who this necklace belongs to. I’ve been waiting to hear what he has to say.” “You’ve been talking with your partner about other stuff besides supporting you?” Luke licked his lips and spun his cup on the table. Raising his head, his eyes sought hers. “I have. My medical leave is nearly over. It’s been twelve months. Time for me to get back to work.” “Are you serious? I mean, I’m happy for you, but… wow.” “Yeah. I am. Tomorrow I’ll have a meeting with the Chief of Personnel. I have some hoops to jump through, and have to prove I’m of sound of mind and all of that. But I think it’s time for me to get my feet wet.” He grinned at her reaction. “Don’t look so shocked.” Cassie felt her face heat. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be shocked. I just thought, with everything you’d been through, you’d never want to go back.” “I had a job to do. I failed at it.” “But now?” He grabbed her hand, his thumb stroking the side of her palm. “Now I begin again.” The bell over the coffee shop door rang as a police officer entered. “Ah, there he is. Trevor! Over here!” Luke waved. The police officer acknowledged them with a nod before heading for the cash register to order a coffee. Cassie took in his dark crew cut and clean-shaven face. Hard to guess how old he was, but he had the stocky dad-bod build of a man in his thirties. A few minutes later, he came over with a steaming cup. “Luke.” Trevor smiled as he sat down. Looking at Cassie, he continued, “And?” “This is Cassie, my girl.” Cassie felt butterflies at the word. His girl? She shifted, mentally trying out the word. Weird? Nice? Yeah. Real nice. “Pleased to meet you.” Trevor offered his hand, which Cassie shook. He pushed his chair to face Luke. “You’re looking good, buddy. You feeling okay?” “I’ve never been better.” Trevor nodded. “It’s been a long time coming. Now, let’s see this necklace.” With a clatter, Luke dropped the rosary on the table. Trevor picked it up and held it close to examine it. “And what did Darrell say about this?” “He knows the jeweler?” Cassie leaned to whisper to Luke. “It’s a tight-knit community.” Luke winked at her before addressing Trevor. “He said it’s from the early 1800s. Very rare, and very valuable.” “And very Catholic, I’m guessing?” Trevor added. “Only one person that I know of. The same mafia thug we tried to bust two years ago. Perfect.”

Luke looked at Trevor, his jaw tightening. “Nicholai.”

THE CAR RIDE back to the hotel was quiet. Luke had flipped the radio off earlier, and was staring out the windshield with apparent intense concentration. Cassie watched Luke for a moment from under lowered eyelashes. Absentmindedly, she twirled her pendant on its chain. “So, who’s Nicholai?” “Bloody hell! You scared the crap out of me.” Luke scowled, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. “Sorry to shake you up there, Detective. I thought you were supposed to have nerves of steel and all that.” “Yeah, well, I was lost in thought. And I’m not ready to talk about Nicholai. I was thinking about my interview tomorrow. Needing to prepare for the agility test. To pass, I have to perform the 1.5 miles in 14:30.” “Yikes. Well, you gave me a lot to think about too.” “Yeah?” “Your girl?” Cassie raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. He grinned. “Yeah. My girl. You got a problem with that?” His bravado faded slightly. “Tell me you don’t have a problem with that. Because you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And I can’t let you go.” “Aren’t you afraid? To have those feelings again?” “Does hiding from how you feel bring back Leif?” “We all hide from something.” “Then, the question is, when are you going to be brave enough to look fear in the face and say, Non mi sconfiggerai mai.” “What the heck does that mean?” “It means ‘it’ll never defeat me.’ And I mean that. Never again.”

CHAPTER 16

L

uke strode down Main Street, his long legs eating up the distance. The green and white awning of his favorite coffee shop snapped in the morning breeze. As he passed the shop the rich smell of coffee nearly dragged him inside. But a quick glance at his watch showed he was already five minutes late to the nine o’clock AA meeting. First time he’d been late in two weeks. With a heavy sigh, he started to jog. He needed this meeting today. Turning the corner, the first thing Luke saw was a police car pulled in sharply behind a beat-up blue Honda. Its light swung in loopy red and white strobe patterns, splashing the colors across the Honda’s back window. Joe, an old friend from the police force, was the officer at the driver’s side window. Joe and Luke had joined the academy at the same time. Luke felt a flicker of surprise at how his friend changed. Joe had always been a big man, but now his belly hung over his leather belt, the belt already maxed to its farthest notch. Luke slowed his pace as he approached, years of training making him wary. A frightened little girl’s face appeared at the rear windshield. “Ma’am,” Joe began, his voice patiently trying to be heard over the toddler’s crying. “I need your insurance card, ma’am.” A woman who looked to be in her early twenties scrambled through the contents of her glove box. Luke could read her anxiety from where he stood, near the car’s bumper. She seemed familiar. Taking a step to the side, he studied her face. It was Peggy, one of his neighbors. Luke watched as she hauled the contents onto her lap and started to rifle through them. Joe sighed before reaching through the window and plucking out the correct document. He also grabbed the registration. “I’ll be right back,” Joe said, and turned to walk to his car. “Oh, hey there, Luke,” Joe called, spotting him. “Hi, Joe. What’s going on here?” “Pulled her over when I noticed the kid popping up from the rear seat.” Luke checked his watch again before glancing at the Honda.

“Funny running into you here. We were just talking about you this morning at the precinct.” Chills climbed his neck as Luke followed Joe back to the police car. “What do you mean?” Joe slumped down into his seat and typed on his computer, checking out the registration. “Rumor has it you’re getting off your leave of absence. You made plans with the administrator to get reinstated?” “The rumor mill is alive and well. Hey, listen, about your stop.” Luke gestured toward the Honda with a slight movement of his head. “Anything come up? Priors?” Joe flicked his gaze from the computer up to Luke. “What? Don’t tell me she’s a friend of yours?” Eyeing the young mother, Luke shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, something like that. She lives in my apartment building. Been trying real hard to get her life together. What’s the story? I’ve always seen her carrying a car seat out to that car before.” “She doesn’t have a car seat now.” Luke rocked back on his heels, chewing the inside of his lip. Peggy reached for her daughter and dragged her onto her lap. The little girl wiped at her mom’s face. He looked at his watch again. Fifteen minutes late now. With a sigh, Luke walked over to the Honda and tapped on the doorframe. The blonde woman’s face was tight with anxiety as she looked up at him. Recognition flooded her eyes with relief. “Oh, Luke!” “Peggy? What happened to the car seat?” She kissed her daughter’s cheek, before settling her down in her lap. The little girl stared curiously at Luke, two blonde pigtails sticking like antennas from the top of her head. “It’s David, my ex. He wouldn’t give the carseat to me today when I picked up Hannah. He …he wasn’t going to let me take her.” Peggy’s voice hitched as she started to cry. She pressed her lips together to gain control before continuing. “He’s been threatening me.” Luke felt her panic. “Threatening you how?” “David has money, you know. A house. He wants full custody, but that’s not what our custody papers said. I’ve never tried to keep Hannah from him. But now he has a new girlfriend, and he wants Hannah. He wants my baby.” Her shoulders began heaving as her control slipped. Luke nodded. “Listen, you need to contact your lawyer about that. But let’s see what we can do with what’s going on now. Hang tight.” He waved at the little girl and returned to the cop car. Joe’s chubby face was indignant. “Hey. This is my stop. You mind?” “Can you cut her a break? Her ex wouldn’t relinquish the car seat.” “You’re kidding, right?” “No, I’m not. It’s one of those custody battles about to turn ugly.” Joe’s pen paused over the ticket pad. “Since when did you turn into such a

softy?” “I don’t know. Since whenever.” “She still needs a car seat. That ain’t safe.” “Yeah, I know. The station still carry them?” Joe rolled his eyes. “Aw, man. You’re going to make me drive over there and pick one up, aren’t you?” Luke lifted his eyebrow, staying silent. The officer groaned. “You tell her it’s her lucky day. And I better never see that again.” Luke nodded. “I owe ya one.” Joe grumbled some more as he folded up the ticket book and jammed it between the seats. Wheezing, he heaved himself out of the car and slowly walked toward the Honda. “Well, young lady,” Joe said outside her window. “You’re off the hook on this one. But we need to get you a car seat. You have a choice. Either wait here while I go pick you one up from the station, or pay the ticket.” A smile flickered on her face, slow at first as though she were afraid to believe the good news. “I’ll stay right here,” she said. “Thank you!” Joe pointed at her. “I have your address. You better be here when I get back.” “Relax, Joe,” Luke said, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m not moving a muscle. Want my keys?” she scrambled to pull them from the ignition before passing them out the window toward him. Joe scowled. “Nah, I’ll be right back.” Shooting a side-glance at Luke, he said, “You coming?” Luke hesitated. The AA meeting was only fifty feet away. He glanced at Joe. Lord knew, if Luke didn’t babysit, Joe might get distracted, or even forget. Judging from the frown on Joe’s face, he wasn’t too happy about the errand. “Yeah, I’ll come. Now be a peach, and go get one of those teddy bears I know you have in your trunk.” “The smartass is back.” Joe grumbled as he headed back to his car. The trunk opened, shutting a moment later with a resounding slam. “Catch!” Joe yelled, chucking the toy at Luke. Leaping, Luke caught it. A little bear with a blue bow. Luke grinned at it and passed it through the window to the toddler. “Here you go, munchkin.” “Come on, Luke! I don’t have all day,” Joe called. Luke waved at Peggy. “We’ll be right back. Lock your doors.” She gave him a thumbs-up before rolling up her window. “All right, champ.” Luke muttered, jogging back to the cop car. He slid into the passenger seat. “Ready? Let’s go.” Luke pulled out his phone to text his sponsor that he wasn’t going to make the meeting. Joe looked at him for a moment before a sarcastic smile cracked his face. “Dude, I don’t know what’s gotten into you. Where’s the tough undercover officer I used to know?”

“He’s grown up and seen there’s more to life than just good guys and bad guys. Now let’s go.” Joe shifted the car into drive. “So, I was glad to hear you’re doing well. And the latest scoop is that you’re already armpit deep in an investigation?” Luke raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” “I heard you’ve got your thumb on Nicholai’s pulse.” “Who told you that?” Luke frowned. “Word on the street is that you have something of Nicholai’s, and he wants it back.” “Let him come and get it,” Luke growled. “I’ll be waiting.” Joe’s worried eyes studied him. “You be careful. His operation has only gotten bigger since you’ve been out. We’re having a hard time stopping his shipments. Every time we crack down, we’re a day too late. Somehow, he’s managed to keep one step ahead of us.” He shook his head as lines by his mouth creased in anger. “You hear he took out two of our guys from the West Precinct, right? Cold blood, right in front of their homes. Of course, nobody saw nothing.” “You know this? How come you guys aren’t stopping him?” “We’re still on his trail. But he moves like a ghost. Hard to stop a ghost.” “And somehow the ghost found out I have his necklace. Something stinks.” “You think there’s a leak?” Joe asked. “A ghost isn’t that powerful. There’s no way he could have known. Someone’s being his eyes and ears.”

CHAPTER 17

he day was as warm as the weatherman had predicted it would be. Cassie T rolled down the window and breathed in appreciatively as the scent of spring air

filled the car. She couldn’t believe three weeks had passed since she’d last left home. Since Luke had plans all day with his administrator, so Cassie had made some plans herself. “You have arrived,” the navigational system on her phone announced. With a deep breath, Cassie entered the Willamette National Cemetery. It was only an hour away from Freymere, and she’d been putting it off for far too long. She steered down a long circular drive lined with maple trees, which led to a large, nearly empty parking lot. After choosing a spot shaded by a large tree, she parked the car. It was peaceful, dotted with flags and flowers, a light breeze carrying the scent of freshly-mowed grass. She climbed from the car, willing her shaking nerves to mellow out. With a scrap of paper in hand, she walked onto the grass and silently counted the rows. Half an hour later, Cassie found the grave marker and slowly ran her fingers over the etched letters. Leif Hensley. She leaned forward to kiss it and rested her forehead against the cool stone. “I’m here, Leif. I’m sorry I haven’t come before this.” A few tears trickled down her face and gathered at the corner of her lip. “I miss you… How are you?” She squeezed her eyes tight to stave off the deep pull of grief. She wasn’t the grieving widow. There were real widows out there. She was just the girlfriend. Reaching into her purse, she removed a small flag. “I brought you this,” she whispered, feeling silly as a flag the size of a minivan snapped in the wind overhead from the pole, as well as one placed in front of his stone. She tucked it into the stand with the other. “I wish there was email where you are. I’d like to hear what kind of trouble you’re getting into up there.” A little smile quirked her lip as her fingertips trailed over his name again, each letter causing the lump to pulse in her throat. Pushing away, she sat back on the grass. Cassie glanced around. Old-growth trees had been left to grow along the fringes of the cemetery, and from their branches birds chirped madly. In the distance, Mt.

Hood raised its majestic white-capped head. “I found your cousin, Luke.” She twined a blade of grass around her finger before letting it softly slip through. “I’m trying to help him. He’s on the wagon now, doing good. Real good.” A frown creased her face. “I’m babbling. I don’t even know what to say.” She bit her lip. “I have so many regrets. That last year together was so hard. And I’m sorry, Leif. I’m sorry, but I’m angry. You left, and I’m stuck. We were both so young. But I know it wasn’t supposed to end like this.” More tears trickled down her face. “I need to move forward. I don’t know how.” She looked up at the sky. “You were always so good with helping me. So what I’m saying is, help me say goodbye. I won’t ever forget you. My first love. I hope you are happy up there. You deserve it. Every bit. I miss you.” Reluctantly, she stood up and brushed off the back of her pants. “One more thing, Leif.” Her voice choked up. “Kiss our boy for me, okay?” Her heart thrummed inside. She clenched her fists at her sides as the ache washed over her. Trying to stay ahead of the wave, she took a shuddering breath. Don’t go under. Not here. After exhaling, she opened her eyes again. Birds continued their springtime battle in the trees. Sunshine slanted across the cemetery, causing thousands of rectangular shadows to checkerboard the lawn. The flag snapped and the chain clanged against the pole overhead. Is it too much to ask you to give me a sign that you’re okay and I can move on? She closed her eyes again. Dear God. Right or wrong, you have Leif now. Please take care of him. And, if you’re not too busy, I could use some help too. She rubbed at her temple, still not ready to walk away. Her purse vibrated against her leg as her phone buzzed. Fumbling for it, she pulled it out. “Hello?” “Cassie?” She knew something was wrong by the sound of his voice. “Luke, what’s the matter?” “Where are you?” “I’m…I’m at the cemetery.” “Oh, crap. I’m sorry Cassie. I’ve been texting you. And—” His voice broke off sheepishly. “I got worried when you didn’t answer.” “Worried? Why are you worried about me?” “I’m dipping my toe back in the water. I’m watching for the sharks again. Nicholai knows I found the crucifix.” “Luke, honestly, you don’t have to worry about me.” Cassie scrambled around for the keys. “I’m the most self-defensive person you’ve ever met.” “I forgot,” he said dryly. “With your purse filled with weapons. You might gummy-bear them to death.” Cassie’s fingers brushed against a package of half-eaten gummy bears, and she pushed it away in annoyance. “How do you know what’s in my purse?” “I was right?” his voice held a tone of surprise. “No—o,” she faltered. “Hey, could you hang on for a sec?” She held the phone

against her chest. With one last look at Leif’s headstone, she blew it a kiss. “I’m heading out. Going to try and figure what this whole living thing means. I’ll see you on the flip side, Leif. No matter what, I’ll always love you.” Clearing her throat, she straightened her shoulders. Just take a step. He knows. He understands. She looked up at the clouds. You do understand, right, Leif? A small flicker of peace stirred in her heart. Releasing the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, Cassie lifted the phone to her ear again. “Okay, I’m back.” There was a moment of silence on the other end, and then Luke’s husky voice. “He’ll always love you, too.” Heat climbed her face. “Sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that.” “It was beautiful,” Luke said. “He was a lucky man. He knows you love him. I know he wants you to move on. I know he’s proud of you.” The lump grew back in Cassie’s throat in full force. “You think so?” she choked. “I know so. I’m his blood, so I know these things. No matter what you think, no matter how things ended, you two left a permanent mark on the pages of love. It’s there now for all eternity. But that doesn’t mean that’s the only mark you get to leave.” “What do you mean?” “Love, Cassie, love is what it’s all about. You two found it, and I know for sure my Jennifer found it. She’d be the first to say that’s what life is all about. I’m thinking she was right.” “I’ll tell you what, love hurts.” Cassie reached her car and hit the button to unlock the doors. She climbed in, waiting for Luke’s response. “Yeah, it does. Love can be a source of real pain. You have to love freely, even knowing you could get hurt.” “I wish you were here,” she whispered, her fingertip tracing across the top of her steering wheel. “Tell me why.” She sighed and lowered her head against the back of the seat. “I’d hug you until I remembered how good love felt again.” “Is that that job description, Principessa? Because that happens to be my exact area of expertise.”

CHAPTER 18

“S o, what do you mean, Nicholai knows? About the necklace? And who the heck

is he? You all speak of him like he breathes dragon fire.” Cassie dragged her chicken basket towards her and grabbed a French fry. It was late in the afternoon when they had their first chance to meet up at a restaurant. Both of them sat on the same side of the table, making their waitress give an eye-roll before she plastered on a smile as she approached. Luke nodded as he snagged one of Cassie’s fries and dunked it in ketchup. “I ran into my buddy Joe today. He told me the precinct gossip chain was on fire with the news.” He hooked one of his onion rings on his finger and dropped it into her basket. The noise around them rose several decibels as a crew of waiters and waitresses rounded the corner, clapping and singing. Cassie would have needed to scream to be heard over them, so she waited, eating a chicken strip instead. Luke laughed. “You should see your face,” he shouted. “I think I’m meeting the Scrooge of birthday songs.” Yeah. Like it’s not obnoxious or anything. Instead of responding, she smiled. Finally, the clatter died down. Cassie pointed a fry in his direction. “How would the precinct have heard it? Who told them?” Luke shook his head. “I have no idea. Darrell wouldn’t have said anything.” “The jeweler? You trust him?” “Yeah. He’s never given me a reason to doubt him before.” “Can you explain to me who this Nicholai guy is?” His jaw clenched. Nervously, he strummed his fingers against the table. “Yeah, I can tell you.” He closed his eyes, looking as if he were reliving the memory.

THE WAREHOUSE LOOKED DESERTED, but Luke knew better. The informant, under Officer Timmons’ strong-arm persuasion, had notified them that Nicholai, second in command of the Russian mafia, would be carrying out an arms deal inside.

Luke’s skin prickled as adrenaline crackled through his veins. He breathed in deeply, readying himself and surveying the front gray exterior, while the rest of the police team surrounded the warehouse. Lifting his head upwards, Luke glanced at the top of the neighboring warehouse. He couldn’t see him, but he knew a sniper waited there with a high-powered scope trained at the door. Quietly, Luke eased his pistol from the back of his pants and watched for Trevor. With a circular hand motion, Trevor sent everyone the signal to advance. Like black oil, the team trickled out from where they’d been hiding and readied themselves beside the warehouse doors. Luke stealthily made his way to the front of the officers. Jaw clenching, he pointed his pistol down, his muscles on alert. He made eye contact with his partner on the other side of the doorway and nodded. Trevor made the sign to rush. Timmons hammered the doors with the metal ram. After two blows, the door blew open. Trevor dove inside and hid behind a crate, Luke right behind him. Gunshots erupted from Luke’s upper right. Bullets sparked around Luke who fired into the eaves at the gunman aiming towards them. “Where is he? Where’s Nicholai?” Trevor yelled over the gunfire. “You see him anywhere?” “I don’t see—” Gun blasts cut Luke off. He hit the ground, rolling until he was covered behind a cement pillar. “Luke! To your left!” Luke spun, his pistol pointing. There! A flash of flames from the muzzle brake. Luke fired three shots before ducking again behind the pillar. Screaming, the man collapsed to the ground. Gunfire rang out from around the warehouse. Luke watched for his partner, needing him to be safe. Within minutes, the battle was over. Shouts of “Clear!” came in from the far left, and quickly spread through the building. Closed crates filled with arms sat in the center of the building, along with the bodies of six of Nicholai’s mob. Shouts of congratulations erupted from some of the officers. Luke lifted his chin in acknowledgement. But, deep inside, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Ten minutes later, the parking lot was filled with ambulances and police cars. Stretcher after stretcher emerged from the building carrying the injured and dead. “We did good,” Timmons said, coming behind Luke. He clapped him hard on the shoulder. “Tonight, the good guys won.” Luke nodded, still waiting to feel victorious. Instead, the gnawing feeling grew that something wasn’t right. It had been too easy. Nicholai was ushered out of the building, his arm jacked up behind his back by Trevor, who was twice Nicholai’s size. “I’ve got a special cell waiting for you,” Trevor goaded Nicholai. He spun him around and threw him against the back of the

police vehicle. Roughly, Trevor patted him down before checking on Nicholai’s handcuffs. With a smile, the officer tightened them one more click. Nicholai grimaced in pain then caught Luke’s eye. “Look who it is, the great Luke Stanzione. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, Mr. Luke Stanzione of 18253 Elk Street.” Luke felt a jolt of adrenaline. He gritted his teeth and refused to respond. Nicholai spit at his feet, earning a smack in the head from Trevor. The gangster glared at Trevor before swinging his steely gaze back at Luke. “You think you just made your big payday, don’t you?” Nicholai laughed, his face half-hidden by Trevor’s dark shadow. “Life is full of surprises. Keep your eyes open.” He winked. “Say hello to that sweet little lady of yours from me.” Luke grabbed him by the shirt collar and hauled him to the tips of his toes. Nicholai continued to laugh. Luke felt his rage, like a red curtain, fall over his eyes. He shoved Nicholai against the police car, flung open the back door and drove Nicholai in. He slammed the door, cutting off Nicholas laugh. His chest heaving, Luke took a step back and clenched his fists. He turned to the driver and motioned that the car was clear to leave. Biting his lip, Luke continued to ignore the red flags. Too easy… too easy.

CASSIE WATCHED Luke jump at a clatter of dishes on the table across from them. A young mother mopped spilled milk off her table with a handful of napkins, her cheeks glowing red. He blinked hard and grimaced, seeming to struggle against a mixture of emotions. “Hey, you okay?” Cassie stroked the back of his hand. Luke cleared his throat before taking a long drink of his soda. “That was pretty intense.” She nudged his foot with hers. “Tell me it’s not always like that.” He didn’t answer, appearing to still be lost in thought. “Luke? What happened next?” He shook his head. Lifting his eyes to hers, Luke stared like he was lost at sea. “We had to release him the next day. All the arms boxes turned out to be empty, so we had no grounds to hold him. The whole thing had been a set-up. Jennifer died two weeks later. And our department’s been running scared from him ever since.” Her mouth dropped open. “That wasn’t your fault.” “Yeah? Whose fault would it be, then?” He balled up his napkin and threw it on the plate. “Luke?” “I just want to wipe the planet of his filth so bad I can taste it.” His hand, resting on top of the table, clenched into a fist.

Cassie bit her lip, his tension becoming hers. “You doing okay? I don’t want to trigger you, but does talking about all of this make you want to….” She hesitated. “Um, drink?” Luke looked down as a sarcastic smile curled the corner of his lip. “Can you tell I missed my AA meeting today? I was just thinking about my old friends, Jack and Jim. There sure wasn’t any pain when they were around.” He gave her a cheeky wink and stood up. “I’m fine. Changing. Doing the right thing now.” “Those bottles weren’t friends, Luke. You’re going to be okay. And I’m here if you’re having a hard time.” He tugged out his wallet from his back pocket and extracted a couple of bills. After flinging them to the table, his hand reached for the back of his neck and rubbed it. His tan skin showed in dark contrast to the blue shirt. Hope flickered inside Cassie as she remembered how pale it had been just a few weeks earlier. It was a sign of life. Proof he was living again. Proof he was doing okay. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He covered her hand. Slowly, he interlaced his fingers with her own, pulling her from the bench. “We’ve got someplace to be.”

CHAPTER 19

he Freymere Carnival boomed with excitement that night. Cassie eyed the T sign above the ticket line with a smile. “Moooove on in here,” she read. “Wow,

that’s quite a theme,” she continued, pointing to the trash cans on either side of the doorway. They’d been decorated with black and white plastic to mimic cows. “That’ll be hard to beat next year.” “Hey, this is an improvement,” Luke said, giving her ribs a soft poke. His hand slipped down her side until it cupped her waist. “Last year was pigs. With wings.” He arched an eyebrow. Cassie was ready for a fun evening. She’d finished two articles for work last night and sent them to Patricia with an extra flourish on the enter key. Free until tomorrow! No responsibility! She felt giddy inside, reminded of the spring fever she’d suffered her last year in high school. The line to go in was packed with people, and Luke and Cassie stood shoulder to shoulder in the crowd. It moved forward with a surge as another ticket gate opened. “Let’s go,” Luke said. “Hang on, getting a text from my sister,” Cassie said, slowing her steps. She read her return text out-loud as she typed, in an exaggerated voice. “I’m fine, Miranda. At the Fair.” “Your sister’s worried about you?” Luke asked. “She always is. Miranda lives on worry. I’d tell her I’m with you, but I don’t think that would help.” Luke nodded. “We need to make a trip up there so I can formally introduce myself to them.” With both of their hands stamped, they pushed through the metal turnstile and mingled with the crowds. The fair was loud and busy tonight. Dirt aisles between the vendors bustled with the energy of families, strollers, people juggling blooming onions, and kids eating snow-cones. Cassie sniffed at the scent of a Philly cheese steak. “You’re not still hungry?” Luke asked. “No, but it freaking smells good. You should have told me we were coming here

before we ate. I don’t want to get sick on a ride.” Luke stepped away from her with his hands up. “Let’s skip that experience.” She shoved at his shoulder. “I don’t mean literally sick! Gross!” Cassie noticed that wherever they went, Luke’s wary gaze scanned the people, his eyes taking in men wearing baggy clothing and or acting out with rowdy behavior. Even screaming kids caught a flicker of his attention. “You can’t turn it off, can you?” “Turn what off?” “Being a cop.” “The day I do is the day I die,” he said matter-of-factly. “You make enemies in this line of work.” His lip twitched into a frown as he looped his arm around her shoulders. Cassie saw the ghostly memory of Jennifer still between them, resurrected by their talk at the restaurant. Her death haunted Luke, but there wasn’t a lot Cassie could do about that. They made their way past the vendors, their loud voices hawking t-shirts, jewelry, and sunglasses. The path opened up to the main area, a dirt circle skirted on its edges by yelling game attendants who stood in front of walls of colorful stuffed animals. “Put a ball in the cup and win a prize!” “Shoot the turkey and win a turkey.” “Everyone’s a winner!” “You want to try?” Luke grabbed Cassie’s hand, taking her over to the turkey shoot. “I don’t see how this is going to be fair, Mr. Gunslinger.” “Hey, it’s been a while. Besides, you never know. You might have a streak of beginner’s luck.” Cassie rolled her eyes. Luke paid for a couple of turns and lifted the air rifle from the scarred wood counter. “You know how to hold one of these?” “Give me that.” She took it gingerly from him, trying to keep a tough face on. Lifting it, she positioned the butt against her shoulder. “Hold it snug,” he suggested. “Don’t have your eye too close to the scope.” “I’ve got it, already.” Her hands felt clammy but she stiffened her lip. How hard could this be? Six shots later and still all the plastic turkeys remained standing. Luke ran his hand over his chin. “Yeah. We’re going to the range, and I’m giving you some lessons.” “Shut up! Everyone knows this game is rigged!” He arched an eyebrow at her before slapping another five dollars on the counter. Smiling confidently, he reached for the rifle in her hands. Cassie handed it over with a sassy look on her face. “I’m just saying…” Holding the rifle firmly, he relaxed his shoulders and pulled the trigger six times. Five of the turkeys fell over.

“You missed one,” Cassie muttered dryly. “You owe me a kiss,” he answered, returning the rifle to the attendant. “What? That wasn’t a bet.” “It is now,” he said, dropping his arm around her. He spun her towards him and ran his hand behind her neck. Tipping her head, he slowly pressed a kiss against her lips. “I think we should play again,” he growled against her mouth, before nipping at her bottom lip. Cassie laughed. “Two tickets, please!” She waved to the attendant, ignoring the stab of guilt. Two hours and several stuffed animals later, they headed to the park rides. Although the sun had set, the crowds had grown. “So,” Cassie paused to put a wad of cotton candy in her mouth. “Why did you quit?” His eyes darted down at her. “You have to ask?” His fingers loosened their grip on hers. “I’m sorry. I get it. I just thought—maybe there was more.” “Back when I joined the force, I was young and idealistic. I thought I could change the world. I was proud to be against the bad guys. Now I know better.” “What does that mean?” “It means that sometimes you can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys.” “Hm. Like when you were a kid and everything made sense? The bad guys had curly mustaches, the good guys wore white.” He released her hand completely, and suddenly she was nervous. Don’t close me off now. His pupils became pinpoints as he stared up at the flashing carnival lights. “Worse. One day, I looked in the mirror, and I realized that the evil I fought so hard against was inside of me. In here,” He touched his chest. “I wanted to corrupt, kill, torture. Every drug dealer, every pimp. If I had Nicholai in my hands, he’d be a dead man.” His gaze flicked to hers, his eyes softening with worry. “Don’t hate me, Principessa.” “Hate you? Luke, that’s pretty understandable. Don’t you think?” Her heart ached at his words. “I’d feel the same way. Am I a bad guy?” She caressed the back of his hand with her finger. “You….” He smiled, the sadness dissipating. “You are a little innocent that’s wandered in here from small town Cantuck.” He lowered his lips to her ear. “And that’s where the corruption comes into play.” He grabbed her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Come on, it’s time for the best ride.” The Ferris wheel line was unbelievably long. Cassie gripped the metal fence divider and watched as a paper cup fell from one of the buckets high in the sky. “Okay. That wasn’t cool.” “Someone dropped their snow-cone.” “Nearly on my head!” “Not even close.” He wiped his mouth to hide his grin. “You should make an arrest. That was endangering a civilian.”

His smirk widened. “There’s no code for that.” “What? Really? There should be. Snow-cone endangerment.” She stared up as the baskets slowly lowered and emptied. “Look,” she whispered. “There’s the menacing culprit right there!” She pointed to a grade-school girl hopping off the seat. “I highly doubt it.” “Don’t let her fool you! It’s always the most innocent-looking ones.” They climbed into the empty basket, and the ride attendant closed the bar and flipped the switch. The little cart swung a bit as it raised, then jerked to a stop so the next car could be filled. “What do you think about being a cop again?” Cassie asked, setting the stuffed animals next to her. “Technically, I never stopped. I told you, I’ve just been on a medical leave. Still have my badge. Detective Stanzione at your service.” “Wow. I had no idea. Always get your man, huh?” “Or woman. See how I got you to fall for me?” “Smooth, Detective Stanzione.” She watched him and her eyes narrowed. “You’ve been pretty good at tearing down my walls.” His lips curved into a sexy grin. “I haven’t even begun to tear them down.” Her heart beat a little faster. I’m going to have to be careful with this one. The Ferris wheel circled, and their basket slowly rose to the top of the arc. The park stretched out around them like a carpet of fairy lights. “I love this ride. I never want it to end,” Cassie said. “That’s the bad thing about amusement park rides. Eventually the magic ends and you have to return to the real world.” “The real world, huh?” She groaned. “My pressing problem right now is that I have to do laundry. And I hate the laundromat.” He laughed. “I remember those days. My washer and dryer were a big selling feature of my apartment.” “Yeah? You might think about using them. The last time I was there it looked like a clothing mountain at the end of your couch.” “That’s how I know where to find everything.” “Really? Just all balled up like that. You’re telling me that’s on purpose.” “Yep.” He smirked. “You’re going in my next article. ‘How Men Do Laundry.’” “Probably be a best—” He started to say. His gaze caught something in the distance and he sharply squinted. Cassie felt him tense before she saw the reason why. He jerked her back in the seat. “Get down!” he hissed.

CHAPTER 20

hrugging out from under his arm, Cassie lifted her chin to see what he was S looking at.

It was hard to see anything in the darkness and flashing carnival lights. Just crowds of people. But one face stood out among the chaos of Bahama shirts and neon tank tops as it stared up at them. The face belonged to a man who looked to be in his late thirties, dressed in a black suit. His eyes were confident and he gave them a cocky wave. Barely moving, the man raised an eyebrow with a tilt of his head as if to indicate her. The basket jerked again as it lowered. Cassie saw the man look to his far left and spin his hand in their direction. “I said get down!” Luke yanked her by the arm, causing her to tumble onto the floor of the basket. “Geez! Do you ever listen?” They crouched together with Luke’s arm firm across her back. With wavering slowness, the Ferris wheel circled the cart back to the ground. Luke hissed a steady stream of curse words through clenched teeth. At the bottom, the cart bounced to a stop. A pimply-faced ride attendant strode over with a bored look on his face. “Come on. Come on,” Luke urged. The attendant ignored them, snapping his gum. He leisurely popped the lock. Luke wrenched the bar up before the attendant had a chance to remove it, and yanked Cassie from the cart. Her shoe caught on the lip of the basket as she climbed out, nearly making her to fall. With a grunt, Luke caught her around the waist then grabbed her hand again. “Keep your head down!” he ordered. Ducking low, he steered her through the crowd, dodging lines of people waiting for rides. His sweaty hand gripped hers tightly as they darted around strollers and kids on leashes. Someone’s balloon came free, the string entangling them, and he swatted it away. He spun around to walk backwards. His gaze searched the crowd. Slowing his steps, Luke whirled Cassie to face him, his hand hard on her arm. “I want you to head straight for the car.”

“Without you?” Her mouth dropped open. “I mean it, Cassie. Walk to the car. Don’t stop. Don’t talk to anyone. I’ll be right behind you.” “Where are you going? You can’t leave me!” “I’m keeping an eye out making sure that we aren’t being followed. Move.” He gave her a hard nudge to get her moving. She looked back over her shoulder but he’d already disappeared. CrapOhcrapOhcrap! The family-friendly environment suddenly felt cold and dangerous. Her eyes skipped across passing faces as she wiggled through the crowd, looking for anyone who seemed out of the ordinary. The number of people around her seemed to increase, causing in her steps to be stilted and awkward. The dirt aisle abruptly ended at a fun house of mirrors. Her face reflected back— first long and skinny, then short and warped—as if advertising her presence. Her heart jumped into her throat, and she ducked her head. The crowd waiting to go in the house was huge and circled around her. “Excuse me. Sorry,” she murmured, again and again as she wove in between the people. Faces blurred together and turned into obstacles in her way. Where is the car anyway? She felt all turned around. A man in sunglasses stared at her and her heart leapt in her throat. Is he with them? Luke? Where are you? The noise level increased as her senses became hyper-aware. Colorful lights, laughing faces, pushing bodies. She slowly spun around, her legs shaking from adrenaline. Where’s the entrance? Luke you’ve left me and now I’m lost! She chose a direction and shoved through the crowd. Was the sunglass man following her? Hot, sweaty bodies bumped into her as she struggled to get through. Nothing looked familiar in the darkness. Please let this be the right way! Cassie jumped as a firm hand latched on to her shoulder. Raising her hands, she prepared to strike as she whipped around. “It’s just me,” Luke nodded, his mouth grim. “Come on. Keep going.” Hanging on to her, he guided her through the crowd. They arrived at the food square. The smell of fried onions and roasted beef rotating on a spit welcomed them. “Luke?” “Wait until we get to the car,” he murmured, walking faster. He darted hurried looks behind him, and she felt his body jerk. “What?” “Nothing. Keep going.” The crowds thinned, and they finally arrived at the admission stand. Quickly, they shoved through the metal gate, and crossed through the field that served as the parking lot. Luke’s steps lengthened until Cassie had to jog to keep up. “Now?” she asked. “In the car.” He pushed the key fob and turned off the car alarm. Rounding the passenger side, he opened the door and hustled her in. Cassie snapped on her seatbelt just as Luke started the car. Looking behind him,

he gunned the Camaro out of the stall. With a last glance at the carnival, he raced out of the lot, leaving dust hanging in the air. “So, that was weird and crazy. Who was that guy? An old enemy?” Cassie asked. Luke adjusted the rearview mirror. He frowned as he looked into it before flipping on the turn signal and taking the next right. His silence unnerved her. “Don’t you dare ignore me,” she prodded. He gave a light snort. “Like that would ever stop you from pestering me.” He shifted the car. “That was Nicholai.” “Nicholai.” Goosebumps trickled up her arm. She ran her palm against them to rub them away. “Yeah.” He didn’t elaborate. Anger flashed in his eyes as he squinted. His mouth set into two thin lines, he shifted again. “How’d he find us? What was he doing there?” “He was sending me a message.” Cassie shivered at his words. “What message?” “That he’s seen you.”

CHAPTER 21

“A

re you in danger?” “Me?” He shook his head. “You should be worried about yourself.” “Okay.” Cassie swallowed. “Am I in danger?” “No. I’ll kill him if he comes anywhere near you.” The rest of the ride home he was silent. He walked her up to her hotel room, and gave her just a quick kiss on the cheek. His gaze darted down the hall. “Stay in the room. You’ll be safe here.” He shut the door behind her, and yelled, “Lock it now.” Cassie slid the lock over, and the doorknob jiggled as he tested it. She turned and leaned against the door. Sliding down it slowly, she slumped forward and drew her knees close to her chest. Luke leaving her at the fair had triggered a horrible memory. As a little girl, she’d been lost in a city with her sister when a gang had surrounded them. “Run,” Miranda had hissed and forced Cassie onto a bus before remaining behind as a distraction. Cassie had pressed her hands against the window, her mouth open in a silent scream as she watched her sister turn to face the gang members. Helpless tears choked her as the bus had pulled away. Never again will I let someone else sacrifice themselves for me while I just sit there. After a while, she crossed the room and pulled her pajamas from the suitcase. Once in bed, she lay staring in the dark. Around midnight she received a text. Her smile fell away as she read it. I’ve got some things I have to take care of. Stay there until I call. The next day passed with unusual slowness. She didn’t hear from Luke again. In an attempt to keep herself distracted, she completed three more blog posts ahead of schedule. She texted him a couple of times throughout the day with no response. Near dinnertime, she was becoming frantic. The lunch that she’d ordered from room service still sat on the table barely touched. Give him some space, Cass. He has a lot on his mind. Sighing, she decided to call her sister.

Miranda answered on the second ring. “Hello?” “Hi, sis.” Closing her eyes, Cassie counted to three. One… two… “Where the heck have you been? Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” Cassie winced. There it was. And not even to three this time. “Hey, I’m sorry. I —” “Sorry? Hello? Save your sorries, missy. I was about to file a missing persons report on you.” “But I texted you last night, I’ve been with—” “Oh I know. Luke. Who the heck is Luke?” “I’ve told you a million times. He’s Leif’s—” Miranda’s sarcastic groan filled her ear. “I know who he is. I just don’t know who he is. You’ve been out there for over three weeks now. Don’t you think you could at least come back for a day and check in?” “Yeah. Luke actually mentioned it to me first that he wanted to meet you guys. Maybe next weekend?” “Well.” Miranda’s tone sounded slightly mollified. “That would be nice. I could cook you guys a big dinner, and Jason could show him his gun collection while outlining the rules for dating you.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Seriously? I’m twenty-two. You’ve got to knock that off.” “Fine,” Miranda grumbled. “I’ll tell Jason to limit it to one gun.” A smile lifted the corner of Cassie’s lip. Despite the fact that Miranda sounded like a protective mother bear, Cassie knew her sister would be cool when it came to the actual introduction. And what was not to like? Luke was doing so good, now that he was sober. Miranda would think he was a catch. Speaking of catch… Why wasn’t he calling? The weird fear-tickle started again in her stomach. Cassie frowned, tuning out what her sister was saying. Quit being paranoid. Sixteen hours isn’t so long. So he hasn’t texted today. Big deal. She shook her head and tried to refocus. What was Miranda talking about? Something about painting the house again? “Oh, that’s nice.” Cassie dropped in a few words before falling back to her thoughts. Maybe he’s jogging. His agility test is coming up soon. “Uh huh,” Cassie said again. “That’s crazy!” Miranda continued to babble away. She never noticed when Cassie tuned out. “And then last Friday, everyone on our street had their mailboxes taken out!” Miranda exclaimed. “Wow! Amazing!” Cassie interrupted. “So, anyway, sis. I wanted to check in, but I’ve gotta run now. I promise I won’t go as long without calling you again.” “Oh.” There was a pause as Miranda tried to change gears and catch up. “You’re always so abrupt when you want to hang up.” “You know how I hate goodbyes.” Miranda snorted. “Call me tomorrow.” Cassie tugged on her necklace and slid it across her lip. “Okay, I’ll do my best.

But honestly, texting is better for me.” “But I like to hear your voice! That’s how I can tell that everything really is going okay with you.” Cassie smiled. “Everything’s fine. I’ll call you tomorrow then. Love you!” “Love you, too, Chickee.” Cassie rang off. She held the phone for a while, lost in thought. The uneasy feeling wouldn’t go away, no matter how she argued with it. In fact, it had grown stronger. This is crazy. Normally she wasn’t someone who needed extra reassurance. Why was she so bothered by Luke’s lack of response? Maybe because some deranged mobster had stalked them the night before and now knew what she looked like? Was Luke doing something crazy right now? Will you quit doubting yourself and trust your gut. Biting her lip, she texted him again. I’m sorry for turning into an obsessive girlfriend. I just need to know you are okay. I don’t know why but I’m getting worried. After rereading it, she deleted the “getting worried,” sentence and hit send. Her gut squirmed a bit. That’s the first time I’ve called myself his girlfriend. I never thought I’d be in this place again. Life is so weird. So unexpectedly, wonderfully bizarre. She flopped onto the bed and turned on the TV, eventually burrowing back into some pillows. Family Feud. Her favorite. Cassie smiled as she remembered the last time she’d watched it. Two married men had faced off against each other. The question was “Which one of the seven dwarves most reminds you of your wife.” Both of the men had paused, looked at each other over the podium, and then vigorously shook their heads “no” with their hands tucked behind their backs. Cassie reached for her purse and rifled through for her pack of Life Savers. Orange this time. Just relax and chill out. He’ll text back when he’s good and ready. The second “X” buzzed on the screen, its jarring noise irritating Cassie almost as much as a mosquito in the middle of the night. She chomped on the candy. At the third “X” Cassie lunged for her phone. The text still hadn’t been read. None of them had been read today. “I can’t do it. I can’t be the calm, rational girlfriend,” Cassie muttered, reaching for her Converse. After tying them on, she grabbed her purse. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” She found her keys and headed out the hotel door.

TEN MINUTES later she’d parked in the apartment parking garage and was already pounding on Luke’s door. No answer. Cold chills crept along her spine. No, not this again. She pounded harder, matching the rising heartbeat in her chest. No answer.

“Luke?” Something wasn’t right. She’d seen his car parked in the garage. She reached for the doorknob, flinching as it unexpectedly turned. The door cracked open. Fingertips pressed against the door, she gently pushed. “Luke?” she called as the door swung all the way open. Cassie heard a strange sound and held her breath. Listened. “Luke?” There it was again. A low moan. Dropping her purse, she bolted for the noise. “Luke, where are you?” She ran through the studio area and around the corner to the bathroom. There he was, half propped in the bathroom doorway. Falling to her knees, she cupped his head. “Luke! What happ—” A scent of vomit and alcohol rose from him, making her gag. Her knee knocked against an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Cold horror replaced the adrenaline rush. No. He didn’t know she was there. His eyes remained closed, his eyelashes dark against clammy skin, his mouth slackly hanging open. “Hey! Buddy! Wake up!” She patted his cheeks. “Luke!” His eyes cracked open before they rolled back into his head, baring two slits of whites. His rough whiskers scraped against her fingers as she tipped his chin up. “Luke?” she patted his cheeks in nervousness. “Luke?” Vomit erupted from his mouth. Cassie gave a small shriek, before turning his head to the side. He inhaled and began choking. His face rapidly turned a dusky shade of red. “Luke! Luke!” Cassie grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to maneuver him to his side. His sweaty skin slipped under her fingers. “Come on! Help me! Roll over!” She heaved him over like a heavy slab of meat and began pounding on his back. He choked in loud coughs. Frantically, she ran to the still-open front door and snatched her cell phone with shaking hands. She raced back and tipped his chin. Nothing was helping. Fear drove her password out of her mind and instead she screamed into the phone. “Siri! 911!” For once, Siri did her job. A 911 operator answered the phone. “911 What’s your emergency?” “It’s my boyfriend! He’s passed out! But he’s choking!” Cassie’s voice rose in fevered panic. “What’s your address?” Cassie’s blood ran cold. “I don’t know the address! Can’t you trace me or something?” Luke wheezed in her arms. “Come on! Come on,” she whispered to him encouragingly. “Cough, dude!” “I need your address, ma’am” “What? Are you serious?” Cassie climbed out from under Luke and hurried around the room. Her gaze landed on a pile of mail and she ran over to it. “18723

Crane Street,” she rattled off. “Uh, apartment eight!” Luke rolled to his back and began gagging again. Her heart in her throat, she ran over, screaming into the phone, “Please hurry!” She yanked on his bottom jaw until his mouth fully opened. Manhandling him once again to his side, she smacked him on the back. “Please. Please. Please be okay!”

CHAPTER 22

t the hospital, she sat in the waiting room, her head resting in the palms of her A hands. Sitting there, listening to various machines beep, she’d never felt more

alone. What am I even doing here? Did I make him worse? Why did I think that I could help him? The dark vacuum inside her threatened to drag her into its hopeless place. “Miss Temple?” A nurse strode up, her shoes nearly silent on the linoleum floor. Cassie lifted her head like it weighed a hundred pounds, and straightened in the chair. “Miss Temple, he’s awake and he’s alert. He’s getting fluids at the moment, and then we’ll continue to watch him. But he’s….” The nurse took a deep breath. “He’s saying he doesn’t want visitors.” “Oh….” Cassie gasped as though punched in the gut. “Okay.” First confusion and then anger rose up. I’m going to kill him! The nurse smiled, patting her shoulder reassuringly. “Given the circumstances that brought him in here today, at least he’s fighting. You never know when he’ll be wanting visitors, so don’t give up. His room is 260, the first door on the corridor to the left.” The nurse gave Cassie a wink. “It’s pretty isolated down there.” With that, she looked down at her handheld tablet. “Okay. On to my rounds. Good luck.” Cassie watched her go, eyebrows raised. Her muscles aching, she slowly stood up and gathered her stuff. She regarded the hall the nurse had indicated. “Luke, you little creep. I’m not going quite that easy. At least you can say it to my face.” Straightening her shoulders, she marched down the hall. But, once outside his room, her bravado faded a little. Come on, you can do this! She took a deep breath and tried to let the earlier indignation fuel her. Thinks he can send a nurse to tell me off while he hides away in here. She jerked the handle and walked in. The room was dark, with just a light in the corner remaining on, and cooler than the hallway. Instantly the smell of cleanser and bleach hit her senses. Wrinkling her nose, Cassie walked in on tiptoes. A long, blue curtain divided the room. She pushed the curtain back a tiny bit along its rail.

Luke lay in the bed with his fingers laced behind his head. A scowl stretched across his face. “What are you doing here? I told the nurse no visitors.” He shuffled at the blankets, making a show of rearranging them. “She obviously did a great job.” “Nurse? I’m not sure I know what you mean. But that sure would be cowardly, to send someone else to do your business.” Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, as visions of smothering him with a pillow danced in her mind. His hazel eyes shot up and caught hers, and his look of indignation darkened into something more serious. “Coward?” he said in a low tone. “Some might call it that.” Cassie shrugged. Her heart jumped wildly but she fought to hide it. He still has an IV in. He’s stuck there for a minute. The lines by his mouth deepened with sarcasm. “I assure you, Principessa, I’m no coward.” “Mmmmm,” she said noncommittally, and glanced around the room. If he’s going to be angry and shut me out, might as well give him a reason. “Why’d you end up back in here again?” His other hand came from behind his head and landed next to his leg in a fist. His eyes flared before the emotion quickly drained away. With a heavy exhale, he relaxed his grip. He squeezed his eyes together and swallowed. Words came out of him, dark and depressed. “Yesterday, when I saw Nicholai looking at you, all I could think about was you getting hurt. Not being able to protect you.” “Luke, somehow you missed the memo that I’m here for you.” His eyes stayed closed as he responded. “Yeah, I might have missed that.” “Or ignored it.” “You’re hard to ignore.” “So, it was a choice then. You chose to push me away and drink instead. Why do you think you did that?” He looked out the window. Lights from the courtyard flickered through the blowing branches of the trees. The silence between them grew until Cassie felt unnerved, causing her to fidget with her necklace. Finally, she burst out. “What are you thinking?” He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “I’m thinking I really hate your questions.” “Why?” “Because they make me have to think about what’s really going on.” “Luke, you can do this. You can beat Nicholai. I can help. I have hope in you.” “You don’t get what we’re facing here.” His eyes blazed in anger. “The Russian mob is no joke. You’re acting like a kid, calling on hope like it’s something more than a wish.” Luke’s voice deepened, striving for cynicism, but the lift at the end betrayed his confusion. His jaw clenched, and he tore his gaze away as he wrestled for control. His words hit like a slap across the face. She sucked in her breath, fighting the urge to storm out of the room. From the corner of her heart, a thought spoke

softly…so softly. Don’t back down. He needs you. Biting back her emotions, she sat on the bed, forcing him to shift to one side. She touched his shoulder before lying next to him. He gave a shuddering breath. Almost involuntarily, her entire body curled up against his, wanting to do something—anything—to blot out his pain. “Luke, you can push and push, but I’m not going anywhere.” Luke’s arm drew her body up until her head rested on his chest, and his arm squeezed around her shoulders. His free hand covered his eyes, as his breath came in another ragged wave. “You’re killing me.” She nuzzled into his shoulder. Waited. “My whole life I’ve always hid my weaknesses and pretended they’re not real. And when pretending didn’t work, I drowned them.” Cassie didn’t say anything. Instead, she ran her fingertips gently up and down his bare arm. “This morning I dreamed I was at the house,” Luke said in a hoarse whisper. “Everything was back to normal. I walked through room after room calling for Jennifer. The bedroom door was shut. I remember thinking There’s still a chance! I can save her! I wrenched on the doorknob but it burned my hand when I tried to turn it. The door was locked. I smashed into it again and again, screaming her name. Finally, I busted it open.” A groan tore through him. He gritted his teeth, as if trying to cut it off. When he could take another breath, he continued. “Jennifer was asleep in the bed. She rolled over to look at me, and her clothing was in rags on her body. Her face was so angry, and she began shrieking about how I failed her. But suddenly it wasn’t her face any more. It was yours, Cassie.” Tears poured out of him and he clutched her tighter to his chest. “No, Luke. No. That was a nightmare. Don’t you believe it.” Cassie sniffed, wiping at her own eyes. She massaged the tight muscles in his arm. “I’m here for you. I may not know all the answers but I know that, together, we are figuring things out.” They lay beside each other quietly, soaking in the warmth of one another. Half an hour passed, and Luke’s breathing slowed into even paces until Cassie thought he’d fallen asleep. She jumped when he spoke again. “You going to be able to be patient with me? While I get my act together?” “I think we’re both going to have to be patient with each other.” Cassie thought about that for a second. “Or forgiving,” she amended. “Forgiving is a good word.” She could hear the smile in his voice and looked up. His lip curved higher at the sight of her. She traced his bottom lip with a finger. “It’s nice to see you smiling again. It’s gorgeous. You have such cute little chipmunk cheeks.” His eyes narrowed. “Cute, little—?” “Cheeks. It’s a compliment.”

“A compliment, huh? Don’t do it again.” Cassie laughed. “I’m not telling you what I really like about you while you’re still hooked up to that heart monitor. The nurse will think you’re having a heart attack.” Luke smirked and kissed her lips. “You know what’s happening here, don’t you?” “What?” “I’m really falling hard for you.” Cassie buried her face into his chest as fireworks burst inside. Wow…I never thought I might be able to love someone again, after loving Leif. What Luke said at the cemetery… he was right.

CHAPTER 23

assie stepped out of the shower and toweled off. It had been a long couple of C days. Luke had been released from the hospital after an overnight stay, and had

really plugged back into AA. Right now he was at a meeting, and he’d told her that he’d be spending the rest of the evening with his sponsor. Looking at herself in the mirror, she inspected her body. Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown. Too much fast food lately, girl. Gym, I need to hit the gym. The article she’d written the day before popped into her head. Loving Others Starts with Loving Yourself. She groaned. I can’t believe I wrote that. Why is it always so much easier to give advice than to take it? She made a face at her image and reached for her bathrobe. A small grin played at the corner of her mouth. Here I am scolding myself for not exercising enough, when just last month I seriously thought I’d never care about anything again. Life really is crazy that way. I don’t get how emotions can feel so permanent from one moment to the next. And then like a deck of cards reshuffling, everything changes. Sometimes in the best of ways. Out in the hallway, Cassie heard voices—a couple laughing as they tried to find their hotel room. She tied the robe’s belt around her waist, her nerves on high alert. Her doorknob jiggled, and she tensed before she heard the woman giggle, “Not that one!” The couple’s voices grew muted as they moved down the hall. Chill out, sheesh. Cassie let out the breath she’d been holding and wrapped her wet hair in a towel. There was a loud knock at the door. Cassie’s muscles spasmed again, harder this time. Cautiously, she tiptoed over to the door, securing the bathrobe tighter around her waist. A teen, his face warped by the peephole’s fisheye, stood outside holding a large bouquet. His white shirt had the red insignia of Lynn’s Florist emblazoned across its chest. She swung the door open. “Hi, I’m looking for Cassie Temple?” The young man lifted the vase of white roses. Pinned into the bouquet was a card tied with a red ribbon.

“That’s me.” Cassie flushed with excitement as he handed them over. “Thank you!” Her gaze flicked up from the flowers to him as she shut the door. Aw, Luke feels bad for the other night. What a sweetheart. Burying her nose into one of the roses, she inhaled deeply. Mmmmm. Gorgeous! After setting the vase down, she extricated the card from the blooms. The card was simple. Cassie, I have special plans for our date. Her heart tingled with excitement. Skipping over to the bed, her bathrobe flapping, she looked for her phone. Luke! Thank you for the roses! So romantic- You’re about to kill me with these butterflies. She chucked the phone onto the bed, not expecting to hear from him for a while. He never texted during his meetings. In fact, he’d mentioned earlier that he might not get back to her until the morning. With a big grin plastered to her face, she returned to the flowers. Her fingertip traced the tip of one perfect, white bud. But he’s thinking of me right now.

POUNDING on her hotel room door jerked Cassie awake. The room was dark. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Her heart slammed in her chest. What time is it? Her hand struck the side table and blindly searched for her phone. There! She clicked it on; the display read 12:00 am. Slowly, she walked toward the door. She looked through the peephole, but whoever was standing there was just out of sight. Her hands froze at her sides. Do I ask who it is? Do I just pretend I’m not here? Her legs wobbled under her. “Cassie?” Adrenaline zipped through Cassie until she recognized the voice. Luke. “Cassie! Open up!” She scrambled with the lock, sliding it back until it dangled from its chain. Twisting the knob, she threw open the door. Luke nearly fell as he stumbled into the room. “What are you doing here?” she yelled, seconds from a full-blown freak out. His eyes couldn’t have been wilder. He grabbed her arms. “You okay?” She nodded dumbly. “Yes. What’s happened?” He looked around the room, his gaze skipping over the piles of clothing until they zeroed in on the white roses on the table. Cursing under his breath, he strode across the room. He plucked the card out of the roses and turned on the table lamp. His hand shook as he read it. Cassie thought he’d crumple the card, but he flung it back on the table instead. “Come on. Let’s go.” His strong hands steered her towards her clothing strewn

across the floor. She looked at him questioningly before pulling away. With her hands crossed over her chest, she asked, “Luke?” He lifted her suitcase off the chair and threw it on the bed. “All your stuff. In there now.” “What the heck are you doing? You’re just going to grab my things without telling me what’s going on?” Cassie’s mouth dropped open. “Yeah. Either you pack it up, or I’ll jam it in there, but one way or another it’s getting packed. You’re leaving town and going home. Now.” He punctuated the last word with his index finger near her face. She brushed it away angrily. “Whoa, there, buddy. I’ll say whether I stay or go.” “Not this time. Trevor got a tip that Nicholai is riled up. He’s not taking too kindly to his business getting shut down on the North End.” His head jerked toward the flowers. “And then there’s those.” Cassie’s eyes widened. “Let me guess. Not from you.” “Hell, no, they’re not from me.” His eye caught hers, and he softened his tone. “If I send you flowers you’ll know they’re from me.” He picked up the roses and dropped them into the trash. “I think you know what it means that they came straight to your room.” Her breath caught, and she spun for the window. The curtains were slightly parted, giving a night view of the apartment building lights across the street. She shivered and grabbed her necklace, tamping down the urge to rip the curtains closed. “Okay. I’ll leave the hotel, but let’s not get crazy here.” “You haven’t seen crazy yet,” Luke said in a low voice. “This time, I’m going to find him. It’s going to end differently.” “I can check into another hotel room. I’ll use cash this time. He won’t be able to find me.” “You should know better than that. Ten minutes on the internet, and you found me. Nicholai’s got people. He’ll be able to find you no matter where you hide if he wants to. And I’m not going to let that happen.” Cassie sank to the bed, feeling like that little girl being shoved on the bus again. After flipping her a frustrated look, Luke scooped the clothing off the floor and dumped it in the suitcase. He disappeared into the bathroom, returning with her makeup bag, a brush, and curling iron. “Stop for a sec,” she called to him. He ignored her as he dropped the items in the suitcase. “Get dressed.” “Can you just hear me out?” “We’re leaving in five minutes, Cassie. I’m not playing around here. His people could be on their way right now. I’ll drag you out in your pajamas if I have to.” His eyes were hard, and made her shiver. She wrapped her arms around herself. Luke took a deep breath. The mattress dipped as he sat down next to her. “Come here,” he said, in a quieter tone. He reached out and gently pulled her against his chest, hugging her close. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to let anything happen to

you. Everything is going to be all right, but I need you to listen to me.” He moved away and cupped her cheek, his thumb roughly stroking it. “Okay? Trust me.” He kissed her quickly. She clung to him. “I do trust you, Luke. I just can’t run home because there’s danger, as much as you want me to. I get this isn’t my world. I might not be able to do a lot to help. But I can be a support to you. Even if it’s just to listen.” He kissed her again, slower this time, before resting his forehead against hers. His breath was warm against her face. “You are a support to me, in more ways than you’ll ever know. Now, you ready?” Cassie nodded. She picked out a few things from the suitcase before hurrying to the bathroom to change. When she returned, her entire room had been picked up. Luke was kneeling on the bulging suitcase as he zipped it up. She held out her pajamas, her eyebrows raised. Luke rolled his eyes, then unzipped the case for her to stash them inside. “We good?” he asked. She looked around the room and nodded. “But I’m serious about not leaving town, Luke. You’ve got to work with me here. I want to stay until we figure all of this out.” He studied her before opening the door, his eyes dark with emotion. “Aren’t you afraid?” “Well, I guess I’m going to have to practice being brave, because so far being scared hasn’t done anything for me.” His lip lifted at the corner. “That’s my girl.” One hand holding her suitcase, he opened the door, before wrapping his other around her waist. “Come on. I think I have an idea of a place you can stay.” “With you?” Her heart beat faster. “You’re kidding me? That’d be the first place they’d look. No, I’ve got another place. Come on.”

CHAPTER 24

L

uke led her on a weaving trail throughout the city in his Camaro. Cassie followed his red tail lights closely in her own car. “Right!” he shouted over the speaker phone, and quickly turned the car right. Two blocks later he called for a left. This strange pathway continued for nearly twenty minutes. Cassie kept a watch in the rear view mirror, but no one was following them. Finally, Luke drove the Camaro down a narrow driveway threaded between two brick buildings. Cassie pulled in behind him, squinting in the darkness, trying to make out the house in front of her. She parked next to him and got out. “Where are we?” “My friend’s duplex. Actually, it was my friend’s dad’s house. He died last year,” Luke answered. Died? “Who’s lived here since then?” “Nobody. Jared lives on the other side right now. He hasn’t wanted to pack his dad’s stuff up yet. Not ready to deal with it, I guess.” Cassie nodded, remembering how long it had taken her to look into Leif’s box. “Sometimes it just takes time.” “Yeah.” The neighborhood quiet was broken by a dog barking farther up the street. The two of them walked toward the front stoop. A cracked cement planter, still filled with the dried stalks of dead flowers, sat on one of the stairs. Spider webs hung from the porch rafters. Cassie clutched her purse closer to her side. The other half of the duplex was dark. “Jared’s still at work.” Luke jerked his thumb towards the other porch. Whistling, he ran his hands along the door trim and then lifted the door mat. “Where’s it at?” Cassie stood silently and wiggled her pendant back and forth. Luke moved the heavy planter to look under it. “Ahh, there you are.” He scooped up the key. “Jared, you idiot. Under the planter, really? First place they’d look.” Third, actually, Cassie wanted to say. Instead, she smiled. “Does Jared realize I’m staying here?” Luke’s lack of knowledge of the key’s whereabouts was not reassuring. “Yeah, he knows. He said the key was by the door.” Luke shook his head as he

jammed the key into the lock. Pushing the door open with one hand, he waved her in with the other. “After you.” Cassie stepped over the threshold, her eyes straining to see inside. The door shut behind her, and then came a loud bump, followed by soft cursing. A light flipped on, showing Luke rubbing his thigh. “Ran into the buffet.” His eyebrows creased in pain. “You okay?” “Fine,” he muttered, limping down the hallway. Cassie looked around the living room—yellow tweed couch, magazine rack, dark landscape paintings on the wall. Luke was already out of sight, presumably in the kitchen, and she heard the water run. The refrigerator opened before quickly being slammed shut. “Uh, stay out of the kitchen,” he warned as he returned to the living room. “We’ll have to pick you up something later today to eat.” “This place is kind of creepy.” “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to stick around.” “Why do you think Nicholai won’t look here?” “Jared is an old high school buddy. He just came back to take care of his dad. As far as everyone knows, we have no connections.” He started up the stairs. Cassie followed after him, studying the chipped trim boards and black marks on the paint. She breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of dusty, mothballs and Old Spice cologne. Just like a grandpa’s house. Unconsciously, she sighed. Luke squeezed her hand in response. “Relax. You’ll be okay here. It’s just for a week or two, until the bust goes down.” “You think he’ll be caught this time?” They headed down the short hallway located at the top of the stairs. Luke opened the first door they came to and stuck his head in. Grimacing, he shut the door again, shaking his head no. “Let’s see what’s behind door number two.” He smiled and poked her in her ribs. “You feeling lucky?” “Do I want to know what was behind door number one?” “It was his bedroom, and apparently, his taxidermy room. I don’t think you’d like it in there.” “Lovely,” she whispered. “Everything was dead, right?” He ran his fingers up her neck, tickling her, and raised his eyebrows. “All I saw were millions of black eyes staring at me.” “Not funny!” she yelled, brushing his hands off. Shivering, she rubbed the back of her neck. The second door opened to a spare guest room. Just a tiny bed covered with a faded patched quilt. “Your boudoir, my lady.” Luke waved his hand in a grandiose gesture. “Mm.” Cassie walked into the room, her fingertips hesitantly touching the dark wood paneling and clunky oak dresser. “So, I’m thinking this bed hasn’t been slept in—” He pulled back the covers

raising a cloud of dust. “In years.” With several quick movements, he had the bed stripped of its linens. Rummaging in the closet, he pulled out a couple more quilts. He held them to his nose. “Well, they smell clean. Will you be okay with these for tonight?” Cassie licked her lip and nodded. “Yeah, I’m up for it.” Don’t complain, Cass. This is your chance to stay in the fight. Don’t make him regret not sending you home. Luke shook out the blankets and made the bed. He fluffed up the pillow and set it at the front. The sound of tires came from the driveway. Luke walked over to the window and pulled back the blinds. “Oh, good. There’s Jared now.” Taking ahold of her hand, he drew her over to the bed and had her sit next to him. “I can’t stay, just in case it puts you in danger. But, I’m worried. You really going to be okay here?” “I’ll be fine.” Her heart cried the opposite. She took a deep breath. He drew her in his arms and rested his chin on top of her head. “You hang onto your phone and sit tight. Jared will keep an eye out for you tonight now that he’s here, and I’ll call you a little later.” Snuggled against him, for the first in a very long time, she knew what she wanted. “Luke, when this is over, please let’s escape to some tropical island,” she whispered into his chest. “I wish we could do it now. Just leave this whole mess behind.” “That sounds nice, Principessa. I’ll sit on a beach towel and drink out of some crazy coconut, and you can read me your latest blog post and tell me who’s who in the celebrity world. And we’ll grab every last scrap of happiness out of life and suck it dry. You got it. One day, that’s going to happen.” Her heart melted at his words. Luke lifted her hand and kissed across her fingers. “But for now, don’t you leave this house. I’ll have Jared check on you as soon as the sun comes up and bring you some food.” He reached for the jacket he’d slung over the chair, and casually pulled it on. Buttoning it, he studied her. “We’re going to rediscover love again.” He winked at her. She followed him downstairs to the door. Locking the lower handle, he pulled it shut tight behind him. She shivered as his words washed over her and fastened deep in her heart.

THE NEXT MORNING her cell rang while she was in the bathroom. Her hair towel flying, she raced through the house, only to bang into the dresser as she scrambled for her phone. “Cassie?” an unfamiliar female voice asked.

“Who’s this?” The hair on the back of Cassie’s neck stood on end. “This is Sheila. Luke sent me your number and asked me to call you. He wants you to meet him at the old house immediately.” What’s she talking about? Why didn’t Luke call me personally? “Why would he leave you a message to give to me?” “It came through his secure email line. I assure you, I work for the Freymere police department. My badge number is 7895. Feel free to call and check. It’s possible there is a problem with his phone, or he feels it may be compromised.” Cassie paced the length of the room. The old house. He must mean where the fire was. Why would he want to meet me there? “Uh, okay.” Hesitantly, she clicked off and stuffed the phone in the pocket of her oversized sweatshirt. His cell is compromised? Something was going on. She slipped on her Converse and grabbed her purse. What do I do? Call him? Maybe that will put him in danger. Think, Cass. But if someone else has his cell, how will I know it’s really him if he texts back? Mindlessly, she unzipped her purse and searched for her Life Savers. Green says go, red says stop and text. Cassie peeled back the waxed paper. Yellow. “Seriously?” She popped the candy into her mouth and secured it in the side of her cheek. Shaking her head, she fished the phone back out of her pocket. “I’ve got to do it. Can’t drive out into the country without at least checking with you first,” she mumbled, her fingers flying over the keypad. Oh man, I hope this is really you, buddy. Be vague. Luke, why do you want to meet me? The response was immediate. What? The message you left with Sheila. Stay there. Do not leave. I’m on my way. She shivered as she read it. Who was on his way? Was it really Luke? She ran to the window to look for Jared’s car. Gone. “No time for pity parties. I’ve got to find something to defend myself.” Spinning in a circle, she searched for a weapon, her eyes lighting on useless throw pillows, glass figurines of cats, and old National Geographic magazines. Her heart sank. This isn’t looking too good. Cassie scrambled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over her untied shoes, and yanked open the drawers. Rusty silverware. She grabbed a knife and frowned at the cracked, plastic handle. Finally seizing a wooden meat tenderizer, she hid behind the kitchen door and waited.

CHAPTER 25

assie lined her sight of vision up with the living room window. Luke hadn’t C exaggerated when he said he’d be right there. Five minutes later, his Camaro ripped down the driveway in a shower of dust. Leaving his car door flung open, he bounded up the porch steps. “I was so scared I wasn’t really texting you!” Cassie said as she threw open the door. He dragged her into his arms and held her like he was never letting go. She could feel his heart beating wildly. “What’s going on, Luke?” “Reception was horrible or I would have called. Tell me about the message you got.” His hand was trembling as he dragged it across his scalp, leaving his hair disheveled. “Sheila said you’d left a message for me to meet at the old house?” “She called you?” “Yeah, she said you gave her my number.” “What reason did she have that I didn’t give it to you directly?” “I asked her about that. She said the message came from your secure email line.” Luke grew quiet for a moment. “Somebody’s hacked me.” He grabbed the doorframe and his knuckles shone white. “What does that mean?” Cassie watched him with concern. “It’s the same thing that happened with Jennifer.” His words came through clenched teeth. “She left work early to meet me. Supposedly fell asleep waiting for me.” “Oh—” Cassie gasped. “Why would Sheila do the same thing again? Send the same message? Surely, she had to remember.” He scrubbed his face with his hand and walked toward the couch. “Come on, Cassie. Don’t blame her for following protocol.” He sat down and beckoned for her to sit next to him. “Are you serious? The same exact plan almost catfished me! She had to have had her memory triggered here. I’ll blame her if I want to!” Cassie spat out, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Come over here. Sit with me.”

Rolling her eyes, she sat down next to him and rested her head against his shoulder. “Did you ever think, if she’d done her job right the first time, nothing would have happened to Jennifer?” She felt him flinch at her words. His torso shifted away from her. Too far, I went too far for sure this time. “Sheila didn’t do anything wrong. She was following protocol. Those messages came through a line that was supposed to be secure. What happened to Jennifer happened. Nothing’s going to bring her back.” Frustration brewed inside Cassie like a storm. “But that could have been me! I got the same message!” Luke grabbed her knee. “But you knew better than to believe I’d leave a message like that. You’re safe, and you’re here.” Cassie pulled away. “I still think Sheila should be fired. Or investigated.” She threw the last comment at him. Luke sighed and leaned back against the cushions. He rubbed his thumb and fingers across his temples. “She’s been investigated. Hell, I’ve been investigated.” He shook his head. “The whole department’s had a shake down. They never found a leak.” “So you’re saying it wasn’t a setup?” “I’m saying sometimes lighting strikes the same place twice. No rhyme or reason. But it’s not going to end like last time. This time….” His lip curled as anger brooded in his eyes. “This time he’s going down. I hope to send him to hell myself.” Cassie sucked in her breath at the intensity of his words. She didn’t doubt he meant them. She studied him as he cracked his knuckles and her anger drained away, leaving a strange resignation and fear. Suddenly, she had an overwhelming urge to scoop him up, take him someplace safe, somewhere they’d never have to face Nicholai. They could start a new life. New everything. Just as quickly, the feeling deflated. Cassie knew he’d never go for that. Until Nicholai was dealt with, she doubted he could ever truly move forward. She nudged his shoulder. “While you’re going all big and bad after him, you take care of yourself, you hear?” Her lips curved slightly, into a small smile. “I’m getting kind of fond of you.” His gaze caught hers, and his anger turned into a different kind of intensity. The green in his hazel eyes seem to glow, and then his arm dragged her closer. His hand cupped the back of her head and his lips pressed against hers. He kissed her like he was a drowning man. She kissed him like she was drowning, too. Slowly, Luke pulled away and she settled against his chest. His fingers stroked her hair. “You’ve given me something, Cassie. I’m not going to squander that.” “What have I given you?” She barely could whisper as her pulse raced in her throat.

“A future.” Tipping her chin, he kissed her again. She melted into him and inhaled his spicy cologne. Sighing, he continued. “But, right now, I need to keep you protected. And as long as Nicholai is out there, I don’t feel like you’ll be safe.” “How can I help?” “Help?” He immediately stiffened as his voice growled. “Yeah. You know. Help.” “You aren’t getting anywhere near this. You can help by staying out of the way while I return to my job and take care of this piece of—” “What are you talking about? I have been staying out of the way.” “Not far enough. In fact, today we’re packing up your car and you’re going home. And, this time, you’re not talking me out of it.” Cassie’s mouth dropped open. Her warm feelings flushed away as icy rejection sloshed over her. “I thought we already settled this?” He stood up, the couch creaking at the release of his weight. “Look, you want me to be able to concentrate when I get back to work or what? Right now, all I’ll do is worry about you.” She nodded, slightly mollified by the word worry. “I already told you I can’t go back. I’ll stay out of the way.” “Cassie! For crying out loud! Why are you fighting me? Just go back home. I’ll call you when the coast is clear.” Cassie couldn’t explain the black dread she felt about returning home. It was like her house had long chains still reaching for her, ready to lock her up again in suffocating fear. Life had just started opening up for her again. She tried again. “Remember when you told me to have patience with you? Well, I need you to give on this. You don’t understand who I was back home. It’s like death lives for me there. I barely escaped. Besides, Nicholai doesn’t know where I’m at. Sheila’s message proves that. I’m just as safe here as I would be at home.” He stood before her and exhaled deeply out his nose. “You’re driving me crazy, woman.” Gently, he bumped his knee up against her own, before reaching and pulling Cassie to her feet. “Principessa.” His mouth was in her hair. “I’m just trying to keep you out of harm’s way. It didn’t work out so well the last time I went after him. I can’t chance losing you too. The thought of that,” his mouth moved lower as he shifted the hair off the back of her neck. “I can’t bear it, baby.” Softly his lips rested there. He traced his fingers down the curve of her cheek and whispered, “Okay?” Cassie leaned away, her eyes searching his own. He wasn’t pushing her away again. He was being honest. Well, as honest as he could be right now. Satisfied, she nodded. “If you really can’t concentrate at your job, then I’ll leave. Just let me stay until the end of the week.” “Deal.” He wiggled her arm back and forth. “Now, give me a smile.” She broke out her cheesiest grin. A startled laugh broke out of him, and he shook his head. “Okay then, I’m heading out to meet with Sheila. And I’m calling in

a favor with Trevor. He’s on day shift, so I’m asking him to spend the next few nights here, just to keep an eye on you.” “Trevor staying here?” Okay, that changes thing. “Yeah. Like I said, he owes me. I bailed him out a time or two when he was fighting with his ol’ lady.” He laughed at her expression. “Don’t look so worried.” “Me, worried? Never.” “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. But, you be good. Stay here.” “Aye aye, Captain.” She gave him a mock salute. “In the meantime, I’ll ask for a few extra patrol cars in the area. And Jared should be home soon. Did he bring you food this morning?” She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the kitchen where several grocery bags lay empty on the table. “He even cleaned out the fridge. You know, you’re really relying a lot on an old high school friend.” “Didn’t I tell you? He’s a former Marine. I think he’s secretly hoping something happens on his shift. He’s a First to Fight kind of guy.” Hearing those words, Cassie breathed a sigh of relief. It’s going to be okay. Somehow, this is all going to work out.

CHAPTER 26

a bowl of Lucky Charms, Cassie bounced on her toes in front of a black H olding and white TV. Creepy house day six. Frowning, she wiggled one of the tinfoil-

covered antennas, trying to make the picture clearer. A screaming woman popped into focus before sputtering back into a haze of static. Getting creepier. She snapped the TV off. Not. Worth. It. Luke had phoned earlier that morning to say he was on his way to take his Psychological Fitness for Duty Evaluation for work. “This is almost over.” He paused for a second. “Man, I can’t believe how much I miss you.” “I miss you too.” He still was avoiding the house to cut down chances of being followed. Only four days without seeing him, and already all she wanted to do was to kiss his face. “How’s it going with Trevor staying?” “Good. Last night, we watched black-and-white ants for most of the evening and ate cardboard pizza. He’s about as talkative as the stuffed animals upstairs. Then he crashed on the couch.” Cassie tested the cushion and felt a loose spring. “Err, you might really owe him after this.” She sighed. “I hate to complain, but after not seeing you…. I’m starting to feel like the walls are closing in.” “I know, Principessa. I’m going to get you out today.” “You are?” She cringed at the squeal that slipped out. “Things seemed to have simmered down over the last few days. There’s talk that Nicholai is taking some heat from the South End gang which is keeping his focus. Both Trevor and I think it’s safe to chance a meeting at Denny’s. He’ll be driving you and keeping an eye out for a tail.” “It’s weird having him guard me, Luke.” “I’m not messing around. I don’t want you to drive anywhere alone for the next few days. Just do it and make me less worried.” Sure enough, right at noon, Cassie heard the car pull into the driveway. She lifted the lace curtain to check. A second later, her phone dinged with a text. Here. The police car idled, as Trevor waited for her to come out. She grabbed her coat and purse and sped out the door. Briskly, she locked it behind her and pocketed the key.

The day was gorgeous. Oregon sure is beautiful in May. The branches of the plum tree outside the window, heavy with white flowers, bobbed in the breeze. She took a deep breath in, savoring the fresh air, before dropping into the passenger’s seat. “Hi.” She smiled to Trevor as she buckled her seatbelt. He shifted the car into reverse and deftly backed out of the narrow driveway. “Ready for lunch?” “Yeah, my reprieve,” Cassie muttered glumly. “What was that?” The burly cop shifted again and spun the wheel, merging the car with the other traffic. “Nothing. Thanks for all you’ve done to help me.” “No worries.” Chatter went off on the police radio. He listened intently for a moment, his eyes focused, before continuing. “You’re not going to be stuck there for long.” “It makes me feel like a kid on restriction.” She rolled her eyes. “But don’t tell Luke.” Trevor smirked. Ten minutes later, they pulled into Denny’s. Cassie hurried into the diner and scanned the tables for Luke. Still not there yet. Trevor followed behind, and they grabbed a booth. The cop flashed a smile at the waitress, and she put an extra sway in her hips as she sauntered over with the coffee pot. “Hi there, Officer Peters.” Her eyes danced across his chest, lingering for a moment on his badge. “Long time no see.” “Yep. Where ya been, Michelle? Keeping out of trouble?” She set the coffee pot on the table and handed them the menus. “Always,” she said, lifting her chin. “Unless it comes looking for me. Now what can I get you to start?” She pulled a pen from behind her ear and raised her notepad. With a clatter, Trevor flipped the coffee cup right-side-up on its saucer. “Coffee for now.” “You?” the waitress asked Cassie. “Coffee too, please.” The waitress filled the cups, making an effort to flash a bit of cleavage as she reached for Trevor’s. “I’ll be back in a bit to see if you’ve changed your minds.” She smiled and walked away. Cassie added four teaspoons of sugar from the shaker and two creams. “You like a little coffee with your cream and sugar, huh?” Trevor observed. She stirred it vigorously, watching the white cream swirl across the top until it blended in. “I have a sweet tooth. What can I say?” He gave a gentle smile. “You’re good for him, you know that?” “Excuse me?” “Luke’s been a different man since you’ve been around. Stronger than I’ve ever seen him.” “Ever since he’s been with Jennifer, you mean.” Trevor looked at her carefully, before slowly shaking his head. “Nah. He had tons of issues with Jennifer. Those two broke up more times than they were

together.” Cassie couldn’t help the thrill that went through her. Why am I feeling this way? Have I been jealous of a dead woman? Crap! I can’t believe I just called her that. She cringed. Cass! You can’t call people who die tragically “dead.” That’s just wrong somehow. Trevor watched her over the top of his coffee. “Your face is telling quite a story right now.” Cassie bit her lip. “I’m just realizing what an idiot I am, that’s all.” Trevor took a sip and set the cup down, rattling the silverware. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. People tend to get idealized after they die. It’s hard to remember that in the end, we’re all flawed humans. Just like it’s hard to remember to cut each other some slack now, because we’re all flawed humans.” He smiled at her. “So, practice on yourself. Cut yourself some slack.” She flipped her hair off her shoulder. “Thanks, Trevor. I can see why Luke thinks highly of you.” “He said that?” Trevor snorted. “I’m never going to let him live it down.” Cassie nearly choked on her coffee. Distract him so he forgets. “Yeah, great. So, how are you feeling about the case? Are you going to catch Nicholai this time? How many people are assigned to go after him? Is it okay that I ask that?” “Whoa!” His eyes grew wide, and he raised his hand to stop her. “I’m pretty sure you hit my question limit. Have you talked about any of this with Luke?” “Yeah. He tells me to butt out.” “Excellent advice. We’ve got it covered. Don’t you worry.” Always Mister Talkative. “I’m not worried. I just hate having to hide out waiting for some news.” Trevor looked over her shoulder at the entrance of the coffee shop. “Well, you’re in luck, because here he is now.” Cassie spun around in her chair to watch Luke walk in. His broad shoulders were pushed back; his button-up shirt was tight across his chest. He was looking good. “Hey, how’s it going?” Luke said as he flopped down next to her, his arm moving to rest along the back of the bench. “Well?” Cassie leaned into his shoulder. “How’d it go?” “I think it went well. I’ll find out soon enough.” He squeezed her. “Mmm…. You smell so good.” Trevor cleared his throat. “Glad you could finally join us. Your little lady here is quite the interrogator.” He tipped his head towards Cassie and took another sip from his coffee. “What? You giving Trevor a hard time? I can’t believe it.” Luke held up his empty cup to the waitress. “What can I say? I’ve been bored. Giving people a hard time is my new hobby.” Luke regarded her like she was trouble. “What do you want to know? I may not be able to answer, but ask away.” “Have you found Nicholai yet?”

Luke hunched forward over the table. “Yeah, we have an idea of where he’s at. And that’s all I can say for now.” “Really?” Cassie blinked. “Are you serious? I’m being sequestered to the dungeon for who knows how long, and that’s all you’re going to give me?” “Hey, you’re out right now, right? Getting some fresh air, being introduced to the public.” “I’m not a dog, Luke. I don’t need public socializing. For crying out loud.” She rolled her eyes. The waitress walked over with the coffee pot and filled Luke’s cup. “One slice of apple pie, please,” Luke asked, before looking at Cassie. “You want anything?” “A club sandwich would be awesome.” As the waitress left, Cassie turned back to Luke. “Well?” “Well, what?” Cassie sighed. “Sequester, house jail, etc.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You said you were going home at the end of the week. I guess we can bump that up.” “Really? I’m free to leave now?” Luke glanced at his partner. “No.” “No?” “Yeah. No. Sorry, Cassie. I didn’t think you’d actually call my bluff. I need you to stick around where I can keep my eyes on you. Especially since he knows who you are now. You don’t live that far away, and he has people everywhere. Better to keep you here where I know you’re safe.” Cassie pushed back in the booth. “Wow, this whole time I thought I was rebelling against you by staying.” “I wasn’t born yesterday.” He winked. The waitress brought over his slice of pie and set it before him. He thanked her and grabbed his fork. “Don’t worry. This will all be over soon.” “How did your conversation go with Sheila?” Cassie asked. Luke paused with a bite halfway to his mouth. He shoved it in, chewing slowly, his forehead creased. “It didn’t go well. The message came through the proper channels, so she didn’t do anything wrong. Somehow, the line has been hacked. She sent a request for a team to investigate it.” His eyes darted to hers. “She, uh, she felt terrible.” Trevor whistled through his teeth. “You’re pushing it, Luke. All over that crucifix.” Luke’s forehead wrinkled into a deep frown. He chewed the inside of his cheek as his gaze flickered from Trevor back to the pie.“And, what do you suggest we do instead?” Luke said, his voice in a metered tone. “Aww, it ain’t rocket science.” Trevor casually bantered back with a shrug. “Maybe you need to reconsider.…” “Reconsider? What are you saying, dude?” Luke cut him off, his gaze hardening.

“You want me to give the necklace back? Maybe I should buy a pie here and trot up outside his place of business and offer it to him?” “Nah, man. It’s just that you’re finally getting better. Healthy. I don’t want him to have an excuse to gun for you. He’s bulletproof. We can’t get ahead of him lately.” Luke cursed, dropping his fork on his plate. He waved to the waitress. “Check please!” Turning his attention back to Trevor, he growled out. “Gun for me? I’d like to see him try. He won’t even know what hits him.” The tension in the air grew. Cassie glanced between the men; Luke with his face red from anger, Trevor’s mouth turned down plaintively. “You can’t go into this angry, Luke.” Trevor raised his hand, palm up. “You’re going to get hurt. You’re going to get her hurt.” “That’s enough, Trevor. She’ll be fine.” They glared at each other. Trevor broke the gaze first. He grabbed his phone and read an incoming text. “Whatever, man. I’m just looking out for you. Anyway, I need to head home. Wife says I need to at least check in with her today or she’s changing the locks.” “Tell her thank you from me.” Cassie tried to play peacemaker. “She’s kidding. I think.” Trevor smiled, before rereading the text. With a nod toward Cassie, he said, “I’ll bring home KFC for dinner.” He flung down a fivedollar bill and headed out. Luke leaned over and kissed Cassie. Finally. “Don’t let him worry you. Trevor already knows we have a plan. We have an entire task force on this. And we have one goal. While Nicholai is distracted—” He stabbed at the pie and brought up the last bite. “We end this.”

CHAPTER 27

“I

f Luke finds out I’m here, he’s going to kill me,” Cassie muttered to herself as a wave of guilt descended on her. Clutching a box of tampons and a bag of Skittles, she watched the grocery clerk, feeling like her gaze should be burning a hole into the woman’s head. The clerk looked to be in her late fifties, and was having a good long chat with a brunette about the same age. “Come on, come on!” Cassie whispered. The two of them let out loud, cackling laughs at something the customer had said. Agonizingly slow, the debit card was dragged through the machine. Cassie shook her bag of Skittles. Almost there. Earlier, the sun seemed like it had been mocking her as she sat in front of the staticky TV, watching the light stream through the dust motes in the house. Then ol’ Aunt Flo had arrived, and she’d only had one spare in her purse. Trevor wasn’t answering his texts. So, she’d snuck out of the house, thinking she could just zip to the store three blocks away undetected. But she’d never planned for the slowest checkout line in the history of mankind. Finally, it was her turn. Cassie tapped her fingers on the counter as she handed over the money. “Doing anything fun today, ma’am?” The clerk’s brassy, dyed curls bobbed as she opened the cash register. “Not really,” Cassie answered. “Just going to enjoy this wonderful weather.” “Oh, it sure is beautiful. I think it’s the warmest temperature we’ve had in spring since 1983. Or was it 82? Cupcake—that was my chocolate poodle— she was alive then. My, how time flies.” The clerk slowly counted back her change, and Cassie held her breath to control her impatience. Finally, with a wave goodbye, Cassie left the store. She ripped open the package of Skittles and carefully picked out three red ones, popping them into her mouth. Chewing, she turned her face up to the sun and smiled under its warm caress. She folded down the package of candy and opened her purse to stick the bag in. Her hand brushed her phone, showing three missed calls. Cassie’s stomach sank when she saw Luke’s name. She checked the settings. For crying out— Somehow she’d bumped it into silent mode. Do I call him back now? Will he hear the traffic? A text came in. Cassie where are you? I swear I’m going to tape this phone to

your body the next time I see you. Okay, then. Better call. “Hi, Luke.” Her voice was high with fake cheerfulness when he answered. “Cassie! You had me completely freaking out. Why haven’t you answered your phone?” Her heart flipped at his tone. “Mmmm. Sorry. I just ran to the store for a minute. I needed some fresh air.” She paused to look at the package in her hands. “And some Skittles.” She could hear him exhale loudly, and bit her lip waiting for his response. “I’m seriously angry. We have the Russian mob after us. This isn’t a game.” “I’m not playing a game, Luke. But, I mean, come on, I just wanted to stretch my legs. I can actually take care of myself, you know. Give me a little credit here.” “Hey, you said you’d cooperate so I wouldn’t have to worry.” Cassie squirmed at his words. She hated that he was right. “I just didn’t think it would be taking this long.” “Long? Whatever, Cassie. We’ll finish this talk later. Now get your butt back to the house.” “I’m going, I’m going.” “You’ve got five minutes. Better run.” Grimacing, she clicked off the phone and chucked it into her purse along with the other stuff. I hate running! She groaned and started to jog. After a few minutes, sweat trickled down her forehead as her purse clanked against her hip. “This definitely didn’t turn out as fun as it sounded earlier.” She could see the duplex’s driveway ahead when she finally slowed to a walk. Inhaling deeply a few times, she tried to catch her breath. Her hand clutched the sharp stitch in her side. Wow, girl. You’ve gotten a little out of shape, haven’t you? I’m going to have to do one of those Zumba shows on TV. She laughed at the thought of trying to follow the static dance moves. If I can’t see it, I can pretend I don’t suck. A noise behind her made her glance up. Brakes squealed as a black car pulled up next to the curb. Cassie flinched at the sound. The two car doors closest to her opened. What the— No time to think. Run Cass! Cassie spun around and ran. CrapOhcrapOhcrap! From behind, she heard another door slam. The sound spurred her on faster. She dove down a one-way side street, her brain screaming a deluge of curse words. At the end of the street, she skidded around the corner. It was noon. The street was filled with people milling about on their lunch break. Some gathered around a taco truck parked near the sidewalk. Blend in! Her pulse beat in a crazy staccato as she forced her pace to a crawl. She ducked into the first business she passed, a consignment store. Inside, she snatched a hat from a display and tugged it on, tucking in her blonde hair. The store was nearly empty. Muzak played on the overhead speakers, strangely jarring under the circumstances. Cassie made her way through the overflowing

clothing racks and shelves of used shoes, to the emergency exit. Her steps faltered at the large, red warning sign on the door, but she shoved against it anyway. No siren. Relief flooded her chest and made her feel ten pounds lighter. She hurried down the alley behind the buildings and turned right at the end. This street was unfamiliar to her. It was also filled with people, but they looked like a rougher crowd. Heart in her throat, Cassie pushed through what felt like a sea of bodies to get down the sidewalk. “Hey, watch it, lady,” A skinny guy snarled around his cigarette. She flinched away from him. How did they find me? She tugged her hat down and tried to catch her breath again, walking calmly. Blend in. Don’t act scared! It’s broad daylight. I’m okay. The end of the street was lined with bars. Parked in front of one was a row of motorcycles. Cassie scanned the people, bikers in their leathers, girls in tiny skirts and eyes jet-black with thick eyeliner. Her spine tingled as she kept an eye out for anyone following. Cassie reached for her phone and searched for Luke’s number. She stabbed at it with trembling fingers. “Your five minutes were nearly up.” He warned as he answered the phone. “Luke! They found me!” “Where are you?” “I don’t know?” Panicked, she spun around, trying to find a street sign. Outside the bar a few of the bikers looked at her curiously. “A black car pulled up and men got out. I ran. I’m standing outside of—” she squinted at the bar’s name. “Minos Bar.” She heard a clatter on the other end. “Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you. I’m only two minutes away.” His words were like a warm balm of safety. “Hurry, Luke!” “Stay on the phone with me.” She heard his car roar to life. “You see anyone?” She glanced around. “I don’t know. The street’s kind of crowded.” He bit off a cuss word. “I’m coming. Hang tight.” Cassie looked up. A man exited from the same alley where she’d just been, his head swiveling both ways. “Oh, crap.” “What? What’s going on? Talk to me, Cassie.” Trembling, she backed away, before wheeling around the opposite direction. “I see him,” she whispered into the phone. “One of the guys, I think.” “Go into a business. Any business. I’m almost there.” “It’s just bars!” She hurried around the side of the building, running solidly into someone. “Trevor?” He smiled, his hands open disarmingly. “Cassie, what are you doing here?” Someone grabbed her from behind and yanked her backwards. She screamed as her flip-flops flew off her feet. She kicked at the person with her bare feet, her blows useless. Her shrieks cut off as a hand clenched tightly around her throat.

A deep growl rumbled in her ear. “Hey, little lady. Time for our date. I’ve been looking forward to it.” He ripped the phone out of her hands. “Luke. Sorry to interrupt your phone call. But we need to talk with our new friend here. Give you a little reminder to return what isn’t yours, and keep out of our business. Go back to your bottle, Luke. It got you into less trouble.” The man clicked off the phone before jerking his fist and connecting with her jaw. Like a light switched off, everything went dark.

CHAPTER 28

assie woke to a deep humming noise vibrating all around her. Where am I? The C area was pitch black, but warm. Her right ear reverberated with a loud buzzing. She

squeezed her eyes and tried to turn her head. A jolt of electricity ran from her scalp down through her neck and spine. Biting off a groan, the pain made her see spots in the darkness. Nausea rose in her throat. Her mouth tasted foul and dry and was held shut by tape. Her nostrils flared as she tried to suck in oxygen, panicked by her sealed mouth. Stop it, Cass! She forced herself to remain calm. Breathe, slow, focus. What can you discover? Shifting her hands, she realized they were fastened together, probably with more tape. Cassie blinked in the darkness, noting the vibrations that ran through her body. Besides her arms being bound, her legs were sharply bent at the knees and tucked tight. She batted her hands in front of her and encountered carpet. She felt above her head. Everywhere her fingers traced was carpet. Cassie ripped at the tape covering her mouth. The sticky adhesive pulled at her skin but fear kept the pain at bay. With a final wrench, she tore it free. Her first breaths were gasps as she pulled the heated air into her lungs. She could almost taste it, the smell of exhaust, and it burned as she inhaled deeply. You’re in a car, the trunk of a car. Get your hands free! Frantically, she brought her wrists to her mouth to bite at the tape. The car hit a bump and Cassie bounced into the air, hitting the trunk lid. She groaned as she landed. Her scalp throbbed. Around her, metal tools clanked, making her blood run cold. She flexed her feet, noting that her shoes were gone, and began to feel around the trunk. Her toe ran up a metal bar, feeling a hook at the end of it. Shoving it away, she continued her search. Her stiff joints ached from being held bent so long. Her toe bumped into something soft that caused a rattle in the far corner. A duffle bag. She looped her toe under the handle. Clenching the muscles in her stomach, she dragged the bag up toward her hands. Her hands shook as she ripped the zipper down. Cautiously, she felt inside. Cassie jerked back at the touch of something jagged. Her breath blew hot against the bag as she struggled to create room. She reached in again, this time allowing

her fingers to lightly tap along its edge. The sharp teeth of a saw. And a metal bar of some sort. A screwdriver. The car’s vibrations lowered as its speed decreased. Her body swayed when the car went around a corner. She winced as the movements irritated the stabbing pain in her head. Turning, the car bounced over an uneven surface, and she could hear the tires crunching through dirt. The jarring knocked her around. She gritted her teeth together to keep her jaw from snapping on her tongue. What do I do? She was scared to kick open the trunk in case whoever was driving might hear. Instead, she eased out the screwdriver. She slid it into the trunk’s seam and heaved on it as hard as she could. Her shoulder dug into the carpet as her muscles trembled. With a crack, the screwdriver flew off the ridge and nearly impaled itself in the top of the trunk. Don’t give up! Her shoulders clenched as she wiggled the screwdriver back in the edge. You can do this! Come on! Come on! Wedging her feet against the side, she pulled again. The latch creaked under the pressure. A glimmer of light showed at the edge as the screwdriver fought the lock. Metal grated. Nearly there. Nearly there! Sweat poured down her face as the trunk super-heated from her exertion. She gasped and pulled and tugged. Something’s changed. She stopped for a second and lifted her head to listen. Was the car slowing down? Desperately, she pulled again. Please, please, please. The car turned another corner, causing her nausea to rise again. The car slowed and came to a stop. Cassie froze. Her sweat trickled down her stomach, smelling sour with fear. The driver’s door slammed, followed quickly by the passenger’s. She gripped the screw driver in front of her, ready to impale anyone who opened the trunk. Silence. Cassie tipped her ear to listen. Nothing but her heartbeat. She held her breath and willed her pulse to calm down so she could hear past its frantic thumping. Still nothing. Her breath burned in her throat. Silently, she counted to one hundred. Hope flared inside her that they had gone inside somewhere. At one hundred, she turned as far as she could in the cramped space and began kicking at the trunk. The third kick released the lock, and the hatch opened. Like a drowning cat, she scrambled up out of the trunk and onto the bumper. She couldn’t see. The light was blinding. She didn’t care. Her feet found the ground, and she was off running. Fingers grazed her arm before latching on. The man had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Cassie crashed into his chest and smelled stale cigarette smoke. She squinted to look. The bright sunlight stung her eyes. She blinked as they watered. His laughter made her retch from disappointment. Blindly, she kicked at him, her bare feet ineffective. She bared her nails and lunged for his face. He wrenched on her arm, his other hand entwining in her hair. He yanked her head

back and turned her to face him. “Going so soon?” Trevor. More laughter erupted around her, and then her legs were grabbed and she was hauled back to the car. “Night night, princess,” came the voice, before something descended on the back of her head. Brilliant stars and blooms of color. Then it was over.

CHAPTER 29

assie moaned, her head throbbing with shards of pain. She tried to open her C eyes. Spinning flashes of color made her wince, and she shut them quickly. Her

eyelids felt heavy and gummy. Where am I? She shifted slightly, noting that her hands were immobile again. After a few more movements, she sensed they were bound tightly behind her back. She cracked her eyes once more. The light was orange, still flashing bright. A smoky scent filled her nose. Fire! I’ve got to call for help! She breathed in, dragging an acrid burn deep into her lungs. Rational thought left her mind as brutal coughs took over her body. Coughs so violent they hurt her rib cage as they ripped up her throat. She couldn’t breathe. Stars spun before her eyes. Desperately, she pressed her face against the rough floor. What is this? Dirt? Carpet? She couldn’t tell but dug her nose against it, hunching her shoulders protectively around her face in a desperate attempt to cocoon any untainted air. She breathed in deeply. Air, sweet air. Opening her mouth, she gasped against the ground. Dirt crusted her lips as she gratefully gulped the oxygen. Slowly, the spots diminished. Cassie lay there carefully and listened. Her pulse beat frantically. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to calm down. The crackling of the flames grew louder. Air heated around her body. Her fragile lung tissue burned with every inhale. Calm, stay calm. Squinting her eyes, she turned her face and took in the area as best as she could. A glowing orange wall flickered to the right of her. Straight ahead was the dark outline of a square, black shadow. What was at the edge? She coughed and blinked her eyes again. Water blurred her vision. Come on. Come on. She squeezed them tight to clean the tears, then squinted again to look. A dim gray light outlined one of the edges of the square. A window? Boarded up? Her head throbbed and she leaned her head back against the floor. She tasted blood. Pounding. The pressure increased until her ears felt they would burst. Dizziness threatened to pull her under. Don’t give up, Cassie. Move. No one knows

you’re here. Only you can save yourself. The heat intensified and a thick odor of scorched hair filled the air. The flames had made their way across the room, following a trail of gas. Fascinated, she watched it approach. The snake-like fire flickered its flaming tongue at her. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. You’re hallucinating. You’ve got to get up. She rolled over to her knees before being jerked to a stop. Turning, she tried to see what held her back. A chain ran from a bolt in the floor to her cuffs. She tugged on it ineffectively before doubling back over against the ground to gasp for air. Tears streaming down her face, she studied the room again. The fire burned most ferociously in front of the door, blocking the exit. She stared back at the window secured with slatted plywood. “Oh God!” she cried out, as the crackling intensified around her. Luke flashed through her mind. “Please help me! Not like this!” “Cassie?” A board ripped off the window with a rough smack. Another crash came. The gray line around the window grew bigger, brighter. With a boom, a foot knocked the remaining boards from the window. Her blood roared in her ears from a heart starved for oxygen. “Luke?” His name fell from her lips soundlessly. “Cassie?” he called again. “Here,” she croaked, trying to roll up on her knees. The chain yanked her back down. Muscles in her shoulder screamed painfully as her shoulder joints popped. She started coughing again. She saw a dark shadow as he raced towards her. “I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.” Reaching under her knees, he tried to draw her to his chest. She cried out as her arms wrenched her back. Tears streamed down her face in an effort to clear the never-ending smoke. She couldn’t keep her eyes open any more. Luke pushed her to her side, searching for what she was stuck on. He ran his hand up the chain and back of her arm, his fingers searching for the bolt. “I’m not going to leave you. I’ll be right back.” Luke shouted above the roar of the fire. The flames ate the end of the pile of boards and crept closer. She whimpered at the heat and tried to turn her face away. Minutes went by. She knew Luke had returned by his coughing. He held the crow bar in his hand and quickly wedged the end under the bolt. He shoved his weight on the bar again and again, trying to force the bolt free. With a crack, it snapped off. He fell forward under the release of pressure, his hand landing on the flaming boards. He leapt back and gathered her up in his arms. “We’re getting out of here.” Luke carried her toward the window. The windowsill was rough against her back as he squeezed her through. She fell in a lump on the other side, too weak and dizzy to stand. Once he was through, he scooped her up again and staggered across the lawn. “Stay here,” he

warned, and gently set her on the ground behind a car. The fresh air felt cool against her skin, but her lungs still burned. He winced as he looked at her. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He slid his gun from the holster on his back and ran, half crouched over. Cassie could hardly relate to the new change of surroundings. Her eyes still teared ferociously. She huddled by the bumper and waited. There was the sound of dragging and then the car bounced. She looked up to see Luke’s arm around Nicholai’s neck. Nicholai’s left arm was twisted between his shoulder blades, held in Luke’s steely grip. Nicholai raised on his toes trying to ease the pressure. Luke stood above him, just a dark shadow outlined by orange flames. “Not this time, Nicholai.” A single gunshot. She flinched and screamed into the ground. And then came another.

CHAPTER 30

assie woke in pain. C “Chickee! You awake, baby?”

Cassie turned her head slightly and saw Miranda. Joy filled her heart. Oh, God! Thank you! I’m alive! I made it! Her gaze darted around the room. Where am I? Blue curtain, stiff sheets. Beeping. I’m in a hospital room. Her senses returned, and she sucked in a sharp breath as every nerve ending on her skin fired. A low, painful moan escaped her. “Are you hurting, Chickee? Push that button in your hand. It will give you pain medicine.” Cassie felt for the button and pushed it three times. “Oh, baby girl. You promised me you were going to be okay.” Miranda’s face drained of blood, and she scooted over to sit on the hospital bed. Cassie wanted to speak, but her throat was raw. She gave her sister a weak thumb’s up instead. “No, don’t be doing that. You are not okay!” Miranda’s bottom lip trembled. She threw a heated look at the man standing behind her. “Jason, I’m going to kill him.” Jason rested his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “It’s not his fault, baby. He saved her life.” “Shut up! Don’t get all rational on me! It’s because of him that this happened.” Cassie tried to shake her head, despite the pain, but they ignored her. Where’s Luke? Frustrated, she closed her eyes. Their voices faded to a drone as she fell asleep.

SHE OPENED her eyes again to see a tired Luke hunched asleep in an L-shaped chair. “Lu-uke?” She faltered at the foreign sound of her voice, raspy like a sixty-yearold lifelong smoker. He jerked before turning dazed eyes towards her. “Principessa? My girl?” “Hi….” she whispered.

“Hi.” He moved quickly over toward the bed. Tears gathered in his eyes and he wiped at them. He lifted her hand—she frowned when she saw it was bandaged in gauze—and gave it a gentle kiss. “What happened?” “Rest, my love. You’re safe and I’m not going anywhere.” She wanted to argue, but her throat still hurt too much. She settled for a grouchy look instead. He smiled. “There’s my little fighter.” She checked him over. His face was scruffy, and his clothing looked like it had been days since he’d last changed. He looked amazing. Feeling a rush of joy, she curled her hand inside his before pushing her pain medicine button again. The warmth carried her away.

THE NEXT TIME Cassie opened her eyes, sunlight filled the room. She felt different this time. Stronger. Stay awake, Cass. Third time’s the charm. “Hey beautiful, you’re awake again.” Luke's deep voice made her smile. The mattress sank as he sat beside her. “Luke….” she whispered. “I’m desperate, Luke.” “What do you need Cassie. Whatever it is, we’ll get it.” “I’m dying for a Life Saver.” I’m so mean. A soft chuckle came out. Luke got quiet. “Feeling better, I see. You’re lucky you look so cute wrapped up in gauze right now, because I still have a bone to pick with you.” Oh crap. Act sick. Time to work it. “I’m sorry, Luke.” Oh good, my voice still sounds raspy. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.” “Cassie, I could never be mad at you. It’s not your fault.” His voice sounded so sad, it woke real regret in Cassie. Her eyes stung with tears. “I really was an idiot. I didn’t take what you said seriously.” “It’s okay, my love. Only moving forward from here.” “Have you gone home?” “No, I’ve been staying here. Had to fight your sister for the chair, though. I won.” Her eyebrows flickered lightly. He’d won against her sister? “I’m kidding,” he added. “She’s been staying here too. They just left for some food, but they’ll be back in a minute. But I really did sleep in that chair.” “Awww, comfortable?” “Yeah. Not bad. Especially if I was a Lego person.” He gently pushed her hair off her forehead. “By the way, Jason and Miranda are awesome.” Somehow, knowing she’d been asleep when they met made her tear up. “I

missed it.” “That’s okay. I have a feeling we’re going to have lots of future opportunities with the four of us together.” She lifted her hand, looking at the gauze curiously. “Am I okay?” “You had some burns. I know they hurt, but they’re superficial. They have you here to watch your lungs because of the smoke inhalation.” She looked up at him, alarmed. “You’re going to be okay. You’re getting better every day.” He covered her hand with his own, bandaged also. “You okay?” “I have to do everything you do, and got a burn too. But we’re both going to be fine.” She relaxed against the pillows. “How did you find me?” His lips tightened. “I gambled that there was only one place they’d take you. One place that would hurt me the most.” “Your house? But it was destroyed.” “They chained you to the floor of the barn at the back of the property.” At his words, she saw the barn, the flames. She gasped as she remembered the gunfire. “Luke! What happened? After?” His jaw clenched and he looked down at his hands. “I was betrayed, Cassie. Betrayed by someone I thought was a friend. Someone I trusted with my life. With your life.” “Trevor?” His name came out like a hiss from her mouth. Luke nodded. “He’d been working with the Russian mafia for a long time, taking a cut on certain deals. After I became his partner, suddenly we were bringing the heat. Blowing Nicholai’s deals. Nicholai put a bounty on me to make sure I was neutralized.” “Oh, Luke.” Cassie teared up. “And I was…until you came along and reminded me to live.” “Nicholai?” “Dead.” Cold chills ran down over her heated skin. “I wish it had been by me. I feel cheated it wasn’t. But, Trevor pulled the trigger.” His eyes blazed with emotion. “And then he turned the gun on himself.” Cassie sucked in her breath. “The Russian Mob is having a shakedown itself. And, one day, it will be me against them again.” He lightly stroked her arm. “But for now, Principessa, it’s over. We’re free.”

CHAPTER 31

he July morning was clear and quickly warming. A breeze lifted the leaves in T the trees all around them and ruffled Cassie’s hair. She swept a strand away from

where it had blown across her mouth and adhered to her lip gloss. “You ready for this?” she asked, looking up at Luke. Luke rolled his shoulders and rubbed at his shadowed jaw. She felt his nervousness as he shifted next to her. Back to his once-a-week shave job, I see. That was okay, she preferred him a little scruffy. “Don’t worry.” She stretched to her toes to kiss his cheek. “You know I’m—Ow! Dangit!” “Your earring.” “I know! Don’t move!” Slowly, she disentangled herself from the seam of his neckline. With a deep breath to compose herself, she continued, “I mean, it’s a big deal.” “I’m not worried, but how about you?” he finally answered, the green in his eyes appearing darker than usual as he watched for her response. “I think it’s time.” They had a new easiness between them. After the hospital, they’d both spent a week at Cassie’s house before returning to Freymere. Cassie continued to stay in the duplex, under a six-month lease agreement with Jared. The taxidermy room was still avoided at all costs but, thanks to Goodwill and elbow grease, she was personalizing the rest of the place and making it feel homey. She needed that time alone, to be able to stand on her own two feet. And Luke needed time, too. Every day, he worked out his recovery and had already earned the gold token for sixty days of sobriety. He was doing well, but they both knew it was a day-by-day choice. They stood next to each other now, his arm slung over her shoulders, a new beginning ahead of them. An engine rumbled. They watched the bulldozer tremble on the pile of debris before charging forward. Slowly, the remaining beams of the house collapsed under a giant cloud of gray

dust. “You okay?” Cassie tore her gaze from the house up to him. “Yeah, I’m fine, Principessa. I’ve had peace about this for a while. She’s no longer here. Time for a new life.” “Did you call your sponsor?” Luke squeezed her close. “I did. I’m good, boss.” They watched the construction crew for a few more minutes. A contractor yelled directions to the demolition crew. The bulldozer backed over the wreckage with a thump and began to push the pile to one side. An excavator lowered its bucket into the pile and took a big bite of the firestricken remains in its metal claws. It maneuvered the full bucket to the waiting dump truck. Bucketful by bucketful, the house’s remains began to disappear. Luke exhaled loudly. He buried his face into her neck. “Something beautiful is going to rise from these ashes,” he whispered. “I know it.” She swallowed as a lump grew in her throat. She cuddled closer, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne. “A new house,” he continued. “One with a wide porch and a huge kitchen. A house for a family, full of life. A place where little kids can play with their Tonka trucks and Barbie dolls.” “You’re thinking about our kids?” Cassie gave a double blink and looked at him in alarm. The dump truck crashed as it received another load, bouncing on its huge wheels. “Not ours, Principessa. I’m going to sell it, and we’re using the money to explore the California coastline. There’s a beach somewhere that’s calling our names.” “For real?” Cassie’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.” “And after that, we’ll pick our favorite place out of everywhere we visit, and I’ll apply for a job transfer. It’ll be a fresh start for the two of us.” He smiled. Tears blurred her eyes, and she nodded. All words left as her thoughts spun. Luke wiped under her eye with his thumb, catching her tear and bringing it to his mouth. “One thing I’ve learned is when you get a chance at love, real love, you have to grab it with both hands and never let go.” His mouth kissed her bottom lip, whispering into it. “I’ve fallen in love with you and I’m not ever going to let you out of my sight again.” He pulled away as a tiny expression of concern flickered in his eyes. “Tell me you feel the same way.” Cassie covered her mouth, completely overwhelmed. It’s here. The moment I never thought would come. I’ll always remember it. The moment I began my life again. “Yes, Luke.” Cassie took a deep breath in. “I love you, too!” She leaned in close and pressed her lips against his. Gently, she exhaled into his mouth. “You feel that?” He inhaled, kissing her back. “Yes.”

“That hollow place inside….It’s not empty anymore.”

The End

ALSO BY CEECEE JAMES Book 1 Wrecked and Yours Book 2 Out of the Wreckage Book 3 A Beautiful Wreck