Saving Us Copyright 2014 Ashley Johnson Published by Ashley Johnson Edited by Jessika Harper Cover by Robin Harper/Wicked by Design All characters are...
6 downloads
30 Views
948KB Size
Saving Us
Copyright 2014 Ashley Johnson
Published by Ashley Johnson
Edited by Jessika Harper
Cover by Robin Harper/Wicked by Design
All characters are purely characters of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.
Dedication This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever been told they couldn’t do something. You can do whatever you set your mind to, now go out and do it!
Chapter 1 Crisp, clear days. These are my favorite and we don’t get to see many of these here. Fall is finally here, I can see it in the changing leaves in the trees. I love to look at the bright reds, oranges, and yellows. Matter of fact, I just got done decorating mine and Caleb’s off campus apartment last night. We were both exhausted from classes but he took the time to help me hang the large fall foliage wreath on the door. Pumpkin spice candles line the shelves in our quaint one bedroom apartment along with a little scarecrow that sits on the end of my bookshelf. We decorated before going to meet our friends Cory and Megan at a local club for 80’s night. The DJ plays mainly 80’s tunes all night and everyone dresses the part. Every few songs, he throws something more modern in and it’s a blast. We rarely miss it. Caleb held me close last night as we danced the night away and the minute we got home, we collapsed into bed. “Good morning Syb,” Caleb murmurs into my soft skin. I roll over to face him, scrunching my nose as he plants a kiss on it. “Morning babe.” Being in his arms is my favorite place. Not wanting to get up and go to class this morning, I snuggle closer. His erection pressing against me tells me that he doesn’t either. “ Mmm,” I moan as he kisses my shoulder and then moves down to my breast. My nipples harden instantly at his touch. “I wish we could stay inside all day, away from everyone and everything. Just me and you. We could forget the world.” “Me too, but it’s the first day of class. Can we skip?” I ask hopeful, knowing the answer deep down. “I love you so much Sybil.” “I love you too Caleb.” I say before crushing my lips to his. He takes his time running his hands over my body, exploring every inch of me. I crumble beneath his touch, yearning for more. His hand dips below the waist of my panties and in one swift movement, they are removed. He showers me with kisses as he hovers over me preparing to take me. He reaches over opening the nightstand to grab a condom. He rips the package open with his teeth and slowly slides it over his cock. As he slides into me, I wrap my arms around his body holding him tightly. He thrusts in and out slowly, taking his time making slow sensual love to me. “You are mine Sybil. Forever mine.” He murmurs against my skin. “And you are mine.” I tell him in a raspy voice. His eyes never leave mine and all they show is love. Pure, raw love. Caleb is everything to me. He collapses on me breathing heavily. His breathing returns to normal but he doesn’t move, he holds me tight. I don’t complain, I love this. “I wasn’t trying to make us late, I just can’t resist you baby.” He smiles that crooked smile I love so much. “I can’t resist you either. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I say. He is and he knows it. Life without Caleb wouldn’t be life at all. His smile reaches his eyes and my insides melt a little more. “Hey, you know what today is right?” “Yeah, we’ve already discussed that it’s the first day of school.” I say sarcastically. “Besides that silly. I have to take my truck to get the tires and brakes changed. Do you mind following me to the shop and then I can bring you to school? My class isn’t until this afternoon anyway.” I groan thinking of having to go to class. “Lucky ass, yeah babe that’s fine. Let me get ready.” We get dressed for our day and he links his fingers with mine as we walk out the door. Once he drops his truck off at the shop, he climbs into the passenger seat of my car. He laughs at my choice of music and I stick my tongue out as I turn the volume down just a tad. There’s a few things in life that I’m certain of, one being I’m lucky. I’m beyond lucky. I know that every morning I will wake up to Caleb. I know he will kiss me on the nose every morning and tell me how much he loves me. I know he’ll be there when I get home from class and I know he is everything I’ll never need. We met our freshman year here in Baton Rouge, Louisiana when we bumped into each other on the way to class. My head was in my phone, I had nowhere to be and I walked right into him. I mumbled that I was sorry, but my heart dropped the minute I looked up into his Hershey-brown eyes resting above two perfect dimples. He ran his hands casually through his messy brown hair while I fidgeted uncomfortably. I apologized as calmly as I could hoping he wouldn’t think I was a klutz. The next day, he stood in the very same spot just so he could talk to me. Caleb’s father is a hotshot lawyer and I learned Caleb is going to follow in his footsteps. He’s extremely goaloriented and goes for what he wants. I learned this when I turned him down once or twice. He’s extremely
persistent. Who wants the girl who came from nothing? He didn’t know that at the time, but I refused to burden him with my issues. I was hoping just to survive college. My parents died when I was a young girl. A drunk driver hit them one night on their way home. I barely remember them, which hurts like hell. Every time I see a picture, it’s like opening the wound all over again. I wish I knew them but Granny always made sure she told me about them. My Granny was my Mom’s mom. She passed away last year peacefully in her bed. That day was hard for me, but I knew she was in a better place. She was one of the best people I’ve ever known. She took me in immediately without question and raised me to be a respectable young woman. Without her, I’m not sure I would have even made it through high school, let alone get to college. When she passed, I found out my parents left me a pretty large trust fund. I had no clue about it and wondered how they were able to set something up like that. The agreement stated that once I turned 18, each month I would be allowed a certain amount. That sure helped with school and other things but I didn’t like spending much of it. Two years, that’s how long Caleb and I have been together. We’ve dated for one year before getting engaged. His parents love me and I love them. We all agreed that we should finish school before getting married so it’s been a slow but exciting engagement. I like not feeling rushed to get it over with, I want that day to be so perfect when I give my whole life to him. It’s the first day of our junior year and I am glad that we only have one year left. Then Caleb can fully get on board with his father’s firm and I can begin applying for jobs at local elementary schools. I really want to teach kindergarten. I love young kids. My phone buzzes bringing me out of my trance. The screen is lighting up with the reminder that I need to get to my class. Clicking the reminder away, I turn to look at Caleb. He leans in pulling me closer to his body. I breathe him in as he kisses my head. “I love you Sybil, I’ll be here after your classes, my truck should be done by then.” “I love you too. Don’t you forget about me.” I warn him. “Someone clearly spends too much time at 80’s night. Don’t you, forget about me. Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t!” he sings to me. I roll my eyes laughing as I open the car door. “Bye babe, I have to go learn things. I love you.” “I love you too babe.” The strap of my bag clings to my shoulder and I steady it with one arm while holding my balance. I can see Lockett Hall from where I stand and my first class is in there. My mind is set and ready for the first day of school. You can do this Sybil. You’ve worked so hard for this. I brush a piece of my wavy chestnut colored hair behind my ear and grip my bag tighter. The first class goes by entirely too slow and I’m instantly relieved when the professor lets us leave. I walk to a bench and sit waiting for my last class of the day. “Hey Sybil!” A voice comes from nowhere almost sending phone airborne. I turn to find our friend Megan calling my name. “Hey Megan, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.” “Well, get your head out of the clouds missy. How was your first class?” “Boring. I really hope the next one isn’t bad.” “I didn’t see your car out in the parking lot, I looked for it.” She says sitting down beside me. “Caleb dropped me off. His truck is in the shop. He’ll be here to get me when he’s done.” “Gotcha. We should have planned better schedules. I hate waking up early.” “Shit, me too.” “Hey Megan, what’s up Sybil.” Cory says as he stands in front of us. Cory is Caleb’s best friend. They grew up together and plan on both working for Caleb’s dad once both of them graduate. “Hey Cory.” I grab my phone to check the time. “Looks like you have a shitty schedule like us.” “No, actually I don’t. I needed to meet with my advisor this morning.” He smiles. I’m getting ready to give him a smart ass comment when my phone rings. Caleb’s picture pops up and I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my face. “Hey babe, your truck’s done?” The other end of the line is silent besides the occasional breathing. “Caleb?” “Sybil,” his voice breaks and I’m on high alert that something could be wrong. “Caleb, are you ok?” Cory’s eyes dart up to meet mine. My brow creases as I try to figure out what is going on. He seemed so happy earlier and now, not so much. “I’m so sorry Sybil.” “What are you sorry for? Oh god, did you get in a wreck? It’s just a car Caleb, as long as you’re ok….”
“No wreck Sybil,” he interrupts me. “I can’t do this anymore.” “Can’t do what Caleb, please talk to me. It’s me, Sybil. You can tell me anything you know that.” A lone tear slides down my cheek and I hurry to wipe it away. I don’t know that I have a legitimate reason to be crying, other than I’m worried to death right now. What the hell is going on? “Sybil,” his voice cracks. My attention snaps back to the conversation as he continues to speak. “I love you so much. Never forget that ok?” My eyes grow wide. Why is he talking like this? “I love you too Caleb. Always. Come pick me up and we’ll go back to the apartment and we can talk about whatever this is.” “I can’t do that Syb,” he cries. My heart continues to split in two as I listen to him cry. Cory stands in front of me barely moving. “What do you mean you can’t? Just come get me ok?” Cory looks at me trying to understand and I don’t know what to tell him. “Do you want to talk to Cory maybe? Is it something you’d be more comfortable telling him?” He begs me not to hand the phone over but Cory practically rips it from my hands. “Caleb, man, Sybil is over here scared shitless. What’s going on?” Whatever Caleb is telling him, has got to be the same thing I’m hearing. Nothing. Cory runs his hands through his hair as he sighs. “Man, don’t talk like that. Just come get her or Megan can bring her to our place and you and I can talk.” My eyes shut tight trying to process this conversation. I don’t understand what is going on and I’m hurt. I’m broken in more ways than I could ever explain right now. I’m confused, I’m heartbroken, and I am a lot of things right now. Cory stands there continuing to talk to him, “Come on Caleb. This can all be sorted out. Quit talking like this. It’s me and you at the firm once we graduate remember? We have a plan. I have to stand beside you when you and Sybil get married. We have plans, remember?” Cory hands the phone back to me and I put it back to my ear. The tears won’t stop no matter how hard I try to get them to. “Caleb, please baby. Please do this for me.” “I love you Sybil, so much and I am doing this for you.” The call ends abruptly and I try to call him again but the phone goes straight to voicemail. I look up at Cory and frown. “It went to voicemail. What is going on?” “I have no clue. Maybe he’s just having a bad day and his phone dropped the call.” “I hope so.” I look at my phone and practically jump up. “I’m going to be late for class. If I hear back from him, I’ll text one of you.” Megan stands and hugs me, “His phone probably dropped the call, I’ll check with you after class.” I walk numbly to class knowing I won’t be able to concentrate on anything at all. The professor begins droning on with notes for us to take. I rip my notebook out and begin scribbling as quickly as my hands will move. An hour into the lecture, my phone begins to ring. My face turns a bright shade of red as I realize the volume on my phone is up. The professor stops and stares at me making the situation more uncomfortable. The number is one I don’t recognize and my first thought is Caleb is calling from the auto shop. I grab my purse and excuse myself. Once I’m in the hall, I hurry and answer before the call goes to voicemail. “Hello?” “Hi, is this Sybil Hayes?” “Yes sir.” “This is Lt. Brian Murphy with the Baton Rouge Police Department.” A sickening feeling fills my stomach and my heart begins racing in my chest. Maybe he really did get in a wreck and was too scared to tell me, but why would he have been talking like he was? “Is-is everything ok?” “Ma’am, I regret to inform you there’s been an accident.” “What kind of accident? Is Caleb ok? Can I talk to him?” I ask quickly. “Ms. Hayes, I’m going to need you to come down to the station.” “I’m sorry, what for?” I ask him confused. “You drive a 2005 Nissan Altima correct Ms. Hayes?” Oh my god, I can’t breathe. Tears sting my eyes as I try to concentrate on taking deep, even breaths. It’s not working. “Yes, sir.” I choke out. “Please come down to the station as soon as you can…” Lt. Murphy continues to talk but I hear nothing he says. I’m not quite sure I understand. He ends the call and I sit there in the hall and stare at my phone. Class will be getting out soon and I can’t sit out
here any longer. Quickly, I get to my feet and run towards the doors of the building. Once I’m out in the open, I fumble for Cory or Megan’s number. Cory answers on the second ring. I can’t figure out why I need to be at the station. I hope Caleb isn’t in any sort of trouble. The cop wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone. “Hello?” “Are you out of class?” “Just got out actually, you hear from Caleb?” he asks. “I got a call from a cop that needs me to go down to the station. Caleb has my car, can you bring me?” “Yeah, let me text Megan. Meet me in the parking lot.” A few minutes later, Cory meets me in the parking lot and I climb into his truck. “What do you think it is Sybil?” “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from Caleb and then his call ended abruptly earlier so I have no clue.” Cory parks at the station and I have to take a deep breath before I can pull myself out of the truck. A thousand scenarios fill my head but I block all them out. I just want to see Caleb again. The receptionist smiles warmly at me and I try to reciprocate it but I’m failing miserably. “My name is Sybil Hayes and I got a phone call from Lt. Murphy.” She dials his number, says something into the phone then smiles at me again. “He’ll be right up.” I stand off to the side trying to fight this sickening feeling in my gut. Cory answers his phone and talks to Megan again while we wait. Lt. Murphy comes walking up and I wish I could read his face but there is nothing. “Ms. Hayes? Thank you for coming. It appears your car was involved in an accident…” “What kind of accident? Is Caleb here? Is he ok?” “Follow me Ms. Hayes.” I grab Cory’s hand and drag him with me. I just want to talk to Caleb and know he is ok. I don’t care what happened, as long as he is ok. Lt. Murphy stops at a cubicle and my eyes dart around the area looking for where Caleb could be. I’m getting ready to ask again when it feels my eyes are playing tricks on me. This is no trick as I realize Caleb’s parents are here as well. “Lillian?” Caleb’s mom, Lillian, turns to face me with bloodshot eyes and a tear stained face. Oh no, what is wrong? My body tenses as she continues to stand there with David holding her. Cory notices and begins to walk towards them with me on his heels. Lillian is clearly in no shape to speak to anyone. Her sobs have gotten worse and this sinking feeling takes over me. “David, what’s going on?” Cory asks quietly. “Sybil got a call that her car had been in an accident so that’s why we’re here.” “There was an accident,” he says. “I don’t know how to say this.” His eyes move to me and my heart stops beating. I turn to see Lt. Murphy watching me, the look on his face is grim. What do they know that they aren’t telling me? My eyes meet the sign on the door that David and Lillian are in front of. I want to vomit when I read the word Morgue. “Why are we standing right here? Someone please tell me something.” I beg. Lillian sobs even louder as David reaches for the door. My body freezes as he turns the doorknob. The sight of the room freaks me out and it turns to pure fear as I see a table with a body covered with a sheet. No, this can’t be happening. That isn’t him under there. “What is this?” I know what this is, but I refuse to accept this reality in front of my face. Cory steps forward and my body freezes again. I can’t move. Cory’s face is unreadable and I know I have to be the one to do this. Slowly, I step forward and touch the cold sheet. As the sheet moves back, a cry escapes from my mouth and I drop the sheet. I sink to my knees as the sobs continue uncontrollably. Cory kneels down pulling me closer to him. “That can’t be him, I don’t believe it.” I cry. “I’m so sorry Sybil.” David whispers. I can’t speak. Speaking means this is real and I just saw Caleb’s dead body. Cory looks up with a tear stained face and stands to hug Lillian. I still can’t move off the floor. Everything has now changed and life as I know it, is never going to be the same. My entire world just shattered. I thought I was just coming to fill out paperwork for an accident but instead, I’m staring at my fiance’s dead body. When I finally get the strength to stand, I walk straight up to David and Lillian and hold them tightly. There are no words to describe the immense hole in my heart right now and the hurt I’m experiencing but, I have no clue how they are feeling. In this moment, I know one thing for sure. I’m never going to wake up beside Caleb again and I’m never going to be able to tell him how much I love him. In a matter of seconds he was
gone and I wasn’t there to see him that last time. What was going on in his head to make this happen? His phone call suddenly made sense but at the same time it makes no sense at all. This moment will forever haunt me and I wish it was just a horrible nightmare but this is reality. He pulled the trigger and I had to identify his lifeless body. Caleb is gone, and a huge part of me followed him.
Chapter 2 Caleb has been dead for three days and today we are burying him. I have no idea how I’ve gotten through the past few days. It is hell seeing his parents go through this whole ordeal. All of us are baffled as to why Caleb took his own life. I’ve been staying with Megan and Cory. I can’t bear to be in that apartment knowing he lived there with me. I broke down just being in there to gather some clothes and personal belongings. I’d never survive in that apartment alone. I couldn’t do it no matter how hard I would try. He’s everywhere in there to me. There’s not a single thing in that apartment that doesn’t remind me of him. The whole apartment is tainted with things of ours. Megan accompanied me to the apartment this morning to find my dress for the funeral. This is one thing I never thought I’d have to do, not this soon anyway. My hands were shaky the whole time I dug through my closet. I’m in mourning but I refuse to wear black. I don’t want to look the typical part. I’m tired of the sympathetic looks although I know they’ll be in full force today. “What about this one?” Megan holds up a black and white Jessica Simpson dress that’s appropriate but Caleb picked it out for me a few months back when he came shopping with me. I can’t. “I can’t wear that one. He picked it out.” I say fighting back the tears. She immediately hangs it back up and searches some more through the closet. Numbly, I move towards her and my eyes land on a red dress hanging in the back of my closet. I grab the dress and hold it out in front of me. I remember the day I bought this dress, it was for our first anniversary. Caleb and I were supposed to go out to dinner but we never made it that far, we just stayed in and shared one of the most romantic nights together. It was a simple red dress that stops just above my knees. The straps are wide covering my shoulders entirely, it is a very subtle dress. Megan smiles kindly with approval as I dig in the bottom of the closet for the heels I have to match it. As soon as I am set, I begin walking out of the room with Megan on my heels. There’s no way I can stand to be in here any longer. It’s like I’m waiting for him to walk out of the bathroom or through the door, but nothing happens. Megan drives us back to her and Cory’s apartment that is maybe ten minutes from mine. Caleb’s parents offered me to stay with them. They have been like parents to me since Caleb and I have been together but I couldn’t bear to be in the house he grew up in. It’s bad enough they have to be. I don’t want them to see me break down every time I see a picture of him. I can’t imagine the pain they are going through. I know it’s worse than what I’m experiencing and I just can’t imagine that at all. “You know you can stay with us as long as you want, right?” Megan says as she pulls back into her parking spot. I give her a half smile before pulling myself out the car. The funeral is in two hours so I hurry to get myself dressed. Megan offers to do my hair for me and she pulls it up into a simple bun letting my bangs hang freely. I have waterproof mascara but I almost don’t put it on. In fact, I keep my makeup to a bare minimum because I know it’ll all be gone anyway. Cory is a mess as Megan helps him with his tie. His eyes are bloodshot. I know he’s been crying. After Caleb died, that evening we sat on their couch and tried our best to figure out what drew Caleb to that point. He obviously was hiding something from all of us, even his parents. I expected them to at least know something since he was their son, but they were just as far in the dark as we were. Megan drives us to the funeral home. This all seems so surreal. Last night at visitation was a nightmare. I broke down uncontrollably at the first sight of Caleb’s casket. There was no way to do an open casket and I’m kind of glad. I couldn’t have been able to handle looking at him without breaking down more. His Mom and Dad offered to let me help them with funeral arrangements since we were engaged, but I kindly turned them down. I knew they had all his best interests at heart and they would be able to get everything done without worrying about me. His casket is beautiful, I never thought I’d hear myself think those words. I just can’t stand to think of his body lying in there without an ounce of breath in it. Cory leads the way with Megan behind him. I’m slowly walking behind her tugging at my dress out of habit. “Cory, Megan,” Caleb’s mom Lillian says through tears. Cory pulls her in for an embrace holding her tightly as she sobs on his shoulders. “We’re here Mrs. Thomas. How are ya’ll holding up today?” She smiles sympathetically, “We’re holding up as well as can be expected. Where’s Sybil?” I move from Megan’s shadow and stand in front of my would be mother in law. I try to be strong, but break down as I hug her. She holds me tightly as she sobs, her body shakes against mine as I cry too. “I’m so sorry,” I tell her. “I know sweet girl, he loved you though. I know he did. Everything in him showed that.” She’s right. He never missed a minute telling me that. He was my prince charming and I miss him fiercely. His dad
David comes walking up and hugs his wife before turning to Cory and I. He hugs Cory before pulling me in for a hug. I cling to him tightly before pulling away. I hate the looks I’m getting from friends and family. I hate this moment, I feel like I’m at the lowest point in my life. The service is scheduled to start in ten minutes, but I can’t bring myself to sit just yet. I break away from everyone and I walk up to his casket. I imagine him in there looking peaceful. I want to feel him one last time but I know I can’t. So instead, I trace my hand along the wood of the casket before slowly bringing it over the top. Pausing for a moment to catch my breath, my eyes shut as I take this final moment in. A tear falls down my cheek but I don’t stop to wipe it away. “I love you Caleb. Why did you do this?” I whisper. I stand there for a few more minutes not caring that his body is cold and lifeless inside. This is my Caleb, this is the last time I’ll ever get to be near him. Megan tugs gently at my arm breaking my thoughts, “Hey Syb, it’s time.” My eyes meet hers, tears unwelcomely stream down my cheeks. I’m not ready to let him go. She links her hand in mine and slowly leads me to the pew. I sit beside Lillian. Megan is beside me, while Cory sits with the other pallbearers. The funeral is beautiful. His mom holds my hand and I rest my head on her shoulder as I continue to cry. My head is pounding from the tears that have not stopped but I don’t care. Cory has to ride with the pallbearers, so I ride with Megan. She holds onto my hand as we pull up at the cemetery. This is becoming all too real and I keep waiting to wake up, but I’m not. My eyes feel puffy and I’m tired of crying, but I can’t stop. None of us stick around for his casket to be lowered into the cold, dark ground. It’s everything I don’t want to see. I take a nap the minute we get back to the apartment. I don’t bother getting undressed, I just lie down and close my eyes. I’m exhausted emotionally and physically. After a three hour nap, I wake and find the headache has eased some. The apartment is quiet, so I grab my keys and slowly make my way out to Lillian’s car. I couldn’t stand to be near my car after he killed himself in it. His mom agreed to let me use hers until we figured something out. I climb in and turn the radio down to where all I hear is nothing but the road. Numbly, I drive to the cemetery. I find myself standing back in the same spot I was just hours ago but this time without the crowd. Without caring about this stupid red dress, I kneel down on the dirt and run my hand over his headstone. My Caleb is gone. My eyes close and the tears seep out. They soak my cheeks in an unforgiving manner. They fall out uncontrollably and I don’t dare try to stop them. “Why Caleb?” I sob, “Why did you leave me? Why wouldn’t you talk to me? I loved you so much, why?” I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting there on the ground when I feel an arm reach around me. I look up to see Cory sitting beside me, his eyes as puffy as mine. With one swift movement, I allow myself to fall into him and together we cry for the loss of our friend. “Why did he do it Cory?” I ask through my tears. “I wish I knew Syb. I really wish I did. How long have you been here? Megan was worried about you, but I knew where to find you.” “I honestly don’t know. I just had to be near him. I can’t believe he’s gone.” “Me either. I’ll never forget that day and I hate that. It’s always going to be there fucking haunting me.” I nod in agreement knowing he’s right. That day will never leave any of our minds. Ever. “Come on Sybil, let’s go grab a beer. I’ll call Megan to come meet us.” Cory reaches his hand out to me and I grab it. He pulls me up and wraps his arm around me leading me to my car. He climbs into his truck and I sigh letting a few more tears fall as I drive away from Caleb’s final resting place. *** The next day, my head is foggy from all the crying and the six beers I drank the night before. I also took a few shots and had to be carried out the bar, but I finally managed to not cry. Somehow the car ended up home. Not a clue how, but it’s here, thank God. I groan as I sit up. I shouldn’t have drank that much but I needed it, it managed to keep my mind off things. I reach for my purse grabbing a few Tylenol. They slide down my throat with ease and I pray they work soon. I get up and grab a pair of jeans and a shirt before going to take a shower. I sigh as the water runs over my body. When the water begins to turn cool, I turn it off and step out wrapping a towel around me. Once I’m dry, I dress myself and step back into the room. My phone has a missed call from Caleb’s parents. There is a voicemail from Lillian saying I should call them back as soon as I get the message. I draw in a deep breath as I call her back. “Sybil, I’m glad you called back. We found out a few things and we need to talk to you. It’s important.” “What is it?” I ask scared of what she may say. “Can you come over? I’d rather do this in person, if that’s ok with you.”
I sigh knowing this is inevitable. I have to go over sometime. “I can be there in a few minutes.” “Thank you, Sybil. We’ll see you in a few minutes.” I hang up the phone and grab my purse and keys. Cory is awake and sipping on a cup of coffee nursing his hangover. He looks quite refreshed considering he drank me way under the table last night. “Where you off too Syb?” “Lillian called and said they found out some things so I’m going over.” “Can I come too?” he asks. “Yeah of course, where’s Megan?” “She had to go to the library to finish up some research for a paper her professor assigned the first day of class. I’ll text her and tell her where we are.” Cory follows me to the car and climbs in. My mind is trying to decipher what in the world his parents want to tell us. If it’s about Caleb, and I know it is, I’m scared. I don’t see though how he could have been in any sort of trouble and not told me about it. We were each other’s best friend and told each other everything.
Chapter 3 I’ve been to Caleb’s parents’ house plenty of times. We were over there at least once a week for dinner and every holiday was spent there. It feels so wrong pulling up to their house knowing Caleb is no longer here. My heart plummets as I slowly pull myself from the car. Cory is right behind me and squeezes my hand to reassure me it was good to come here. The perfectly manicured lawn that the magnolia tree sits on brings back too many memories. Memories that send tears straight to my eyes. Caleb and I sat under that tree many times during the day talking about our future. One Christmas evening, he made love to me under that tree. I’ll never forget how I felt in that moment, I’ll never forget how he made me feel. Ever. “I don’t want to walk in.” I tell Cory. He lets out a sigh, “I know, but we have to.” I look back to the tree one more time and let out a breath. I have to do this for myself and for Caleb. He wouldn’t want us to be constantly crying over him, but this is so damn hard. I close my eyes as I bring my hand up to knock on the door. Lillian opens the door and pulls me in for a hug. I have tried so hard not to cry, but one look at her and I can’t help it. This is the first time I’ve seen his mom without a single ounce of makeup on her face. She’s even wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. This is such a change from how she normally looks. “Thank you for coming, Sybil.” She pulls Cory in for a hug and holds the door open allowing us inside. “Come in, we’re sitting in the living room.” I draw in a deep breath as I step into their home. I try not to look at the picture of Caleb and me in the wooden frame sitting on the shelf as we walk by. My eyes betray me though looking at it. Caleb’s arm is around me and we’re looking at each other. You can’t look at the picture and not see the love we had for each other. The urge to grab the picture and hold it against my chest comes, but I quickly dismiss it as we enter the living room. Mr. Thomas is sitting in his recliner looking down at a letter. He looks up as we step into the room. The look on his face is unnerving and my stomach immediately knots up. Cory and I sit on the couch side by side. He grabs onto my hand once more assuring me everything is ok, but I can’t shake this horrible feeling sitting at the bottom of my stomach. Mrs. Thomas sits on the couch closest to her husband and draws in a deep breath as she situates herself. The awkward silence is more than I can take. I try to take my mind off things but Mr. Thomas speaks. “I really wish we were meeting under better circumstances. These past few days have been hell on us all. The police stumbled across something in your car the other day and I feel you two, especially you Sybil deserve to know. What I’m about to show you isn’t easy to read. I’m going to let you read it for yourself.” What is he talking about? I knew they had a key to my car and probably wanted to get some of Caleb’s things. How had I not seen this? What had Caleb done? Mr. Thomas leans forward handing me the letter he holds in his hands. My hands are shaking as I grab the worn piece of paper. His wife chokes back a sob and my eyes meet hers trying to understand all of this. I so badly want to rewind time to a few days ago before all this chaos erupted in our lives. I want to go back to that morning with him. My hands try to hold the paper steady but I’m shaking so badly. Cory takes the paper and holds it for me holding it to where we can both read the black ink. I’m not sure how to go about saying this. Sybil, Cory...Mom and Dad…. Just reading my name sends tears streaming down my face. I can imagine his voice and it’s killing me. I close my eyes blinking back the tears before beginning to read again: If you’re reading this, I’m gone. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Mom and Dad, you’ve always supported me and given me everything I’ve ever wanted and needed. I wouldn’t be the man I am if it wasn’t for you. Cory, I can’t imagine having a different best friend. Shit, we got into so much together but I knew at the end of the day you are my go-to guy. Best friends forever. Please watch out for Sybil for me. Don’t be mad at me man, I never meant to do this. Cory drops the paper for a second and wipes his eyes. I hate the way this letter has started and nothing has been revealed yet. Cory steadies his hands before pulling the letter back up. Sybil, my beautiful Sybil. God, I love you more than the very breath I breathe. That day I met you was the best damn day of my life. I knew not long after that, you were the only one in this world for me. You have no idea how hard it is to write this, the thought of hurting you kills me. Please promise me you will only remember the good, please don’t hate me. Oh my God. I can’t focus on anything, my eyes won’t even stay open. My hand is clenching my chest as I struggle to find my breath. When he died, it took my breath away and I’ve been struggling to live. I don’t want to live without him, but I have to.
“I can’t read this. It’s too much.” I sob. “I know its hard Sybil, but we have to read this ok? Caleb wanted us to read this.” I know Cory is right. Caleb wrote this just for all of us to read. He wrote every painful word. I look up at his parents and both of them give us weak smiles letting us know its ok. I managed to get myself into trouble. I know what ya’ll must be thinking, why didn’t I come to any of you for help? Truth is, I can’t. I’ve messed up big time and I refuse to drag ya’ll into it. For a few years now, I’ve dug myself further and further into debt. I didn’t realize how deep in I was until it was too late. I tried everything to fix it, even by taking some of your trust fund Sybil. I’m so damn sorry, I thought I could fix things and eventually put it back. I met a guy who said he could help me and it seemed to be a good idea. I could cover this up and no one would know, I had it planned out. But that’s where I went wrong. These guys are loan sharks and it didn’t matter how much I paid them back, the interest just kept going up. They threatened to come after me several times, I was scared. I couldn’t let anything happen to me or to anyone in my family. I paid back the portion for your trust fund Sybil but they wanted everything then, so I had to give most of it back to them. I made them promise me they would never go after you. This was my fuck up and you will not pay for it. I know it’s a matter of time before they show up for me. I’ve tried everything to keep them away but I can’t anymore. Me leaving, is the only way I can think of to handle this. I know this is going to hurt like hell but I can’t risk having any of you hurt. I’m so sorry I kept something like this from ya’ll. I’m sorry Mom and Dad for everything, I’m sorry you have to pick up the pieces of my mess. I’m sorry Cory for the pain I’ve caused you, please promise me you’ll look out for Sybil for me. Sybil, I’m so damn sorry I hurt you. Even in the grave, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for letting you down. I love all of you so much, please forgive me. Caleb. The letter falls lifelessly from Cory’s hands. Tears stream viciously down my face. Caleb had a problem and not a single one of us fucking knew about it. When did he even have time to do this? I feel betrayed, but I can’t be angry, I’m too sad to be angry. Because of all this, I lost my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t give a shit about the trust fund right now. I could care less about that money, I just want him back and that will never happen. Every time I think I’ve caught my breath, the sobs begin again. I wish I had never read this letter, I liked it better when I had no clue what had happened. Cory pulls me into him and lets the tears fall down his cheeks. My shoulder is soaked from his tears but I hold him as we continue to mourn the loss of our friend. “I’m sorry you two had to read that.” Mr. Thomas speaks up quietly. I look towards him and carefully reply, “How did we not know this?” “I don’t know Sybil. I would have helped him in every way I could if he had just come to me. I want to put the money back into your fund.” I know his father would have. His parents would have moved heaven and earth to help him. I suddenly hate having come here. This letter broke my heart completely but I don’t think any less of Caleb. He had a problem and he needed help. I try to think about how much deep he actually was, but I stop because I’d rather not think about it. My trust fund is nearly gone and I have nothing after that is depleted. “I don’t care about the money,” I whisper. “Do we need to worry about someone coming after us since he’s, since he’s gone.” I hate saying things like that. I hate thinking about him being gone, but he is gone and he’s never coming back. “I have no way of knowing that Sybil, but all we can do is be careful who we talk to that we don’t know. If I knew who he owed money too, I would pay it but I have no idea. I know this is a lot to take in.” Cory finally stops crying and stands up. He walks right over to Lillian and hugs her for what seems like an eternity. I stand also but to thank them for having us over. I can’t sit in this house another minute longer. Everything that I just read is eating me alive and I just want to go home. “I’m sorry to be so abrupt, but I think I want to go home. I’m sorry for leaving quickly, but this is just, it’s a lot.” I say quietly. Mr. Thomas pulls me in for a hug, “You know you are welcome here anytime Sybil. You are like a daughter to us. We will be safe, don’t worry. We love you.” “I love you too,” I whisper. Cory follows me to the door and pulls it behind us as we step out into the sunlight. The magnolia tree is straight ahead and I take off running towards it, not caring about Cory standing there on the steps. I throw my body onto the cool grass and sob uncontrollably. I reach out praying to touch Caleb but I know I can’t. I want to lay right here for the rest of my life and imagine him here. I want to go back to a time when things were innocent and carefree. How could he do something like this? How could he lose everything, take my money and then borrow money from a damn loan shark? How bad could it have been that made him take his own life? I don’t hear Cory sit beside me on the grass. I don’t know he’s even there until he wraps his arms around mine and
pulls my head onto his lap. He gently strokes my hair and I close my eyes when one of his tears falls landing on my cheek. We stay there just like this for a while until his phone rings. Megan is wondering where we are, we’ve been gone for a while now. When he hangs up the phone, he looks at me and quietly whispers, “It’s time to go Syb.” “I can’t go, I don’t want to.” “I know. I can’t fucking believe this either, it’s just insane.” I nod my head yes. He leans down softly kissing my forehead. “He loved you so much, Sybil. He asked me to take care of you so I will. Anything you need, you ask me or Megan. We’re all in this together.” “We are. I just miss him so fucking much.” I cling to my chest, grabbing at my heart. “It hurts so bad Cory. It hurts right here, I don’t think my heart will ever heal from this. I can’t imagine anyone but Caleb ever owning it.” “I know. I’m so damn sorry. I miss him too, Syb. We’ll be fine, we’re strong.” “Do you think any less of him Cor?” I ask carefully. “Hell no. I wish he hadn’t taken that way out, but I will never think any less of him.” I decide to stand and Cory and I head to the car. Once we’re home, all I want to do is lock myself in the room. That’s exactly what I do, I lock myself away from Cory and Megan. I feel so lost and alone. I feel betrayed. A light knock at the door is the first time I’ve raised my head up since I’ve laid down. “Come in.” I call out numbly before remembering I locked the door. I unlock it and stalk back to the bed. “Hey Syb, we’re about to order a pizza. You want some?” Megan sits on the bed beside me slowly. “Sure, I guess I need to eat.” “Cory told me everything. Are you ok?” she asks cautiously. “I will be. It was just a lot to hear and I still can’t believe any of it.” “I know, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Come out here with us, we’re all friends and we need to stick together.” She pulls me in for a hug. I don’t cry, my eyes hurt from crying. I’m cried out. “Thank you Megan. I don’t know what I would do without you and Cory. Please don’t let me burden you though.” “You could never burden us. Don’t you think like that.” “Will I ever get over this?” I ask with tear-filled eyes. So much for not crying anymore. Megan looks at my sympathetically. She brushes her hand through her hair before placing it on top of mine. “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know. I wish I could tell you.” These past few days have sucked. Everything in me was taken away and my fiancé had a secret no one would have ever guessed. Life goes on, it does whether we want it to or not. It’s up to me to pick up the pieces and get on with my life. Will I ever be able to move on? Probably not, but I’ll try my hardest.
Chapter 4 Five months later Everyday hurts just like it did that fateful day and every day after that. With time, some things have gotten easier but I still miss Caleb. I visit his grave at least once a week, although I like to go multiple times. Between Cory, Caleb’s parents and myself, his grave always has fresh flowers. With the support system I have, I was kept sane and unable to descend into a downward spiral. By some miracle, I managed to survive the semester without failing any courses. My teachers showed sympathy, although I didn’t want it. I hated seeing the looks like it just happened. It’s been almost half a year and I wish they would focus their attention elsewhere. Three months after Caleb’s death, I was finally able to walk into the apartment and not lose myself. It was then that I decided I was ready to live there again. For three months I lived with Cory and Megan and it’s been great. Without them, I’m not sure I would have been able to survive everything. They both questioned me thoroughly to make sure I was really ready to live in the apartment again. After some reassurance on my part, I was back in mine and Caleb’s apartment. The only thing that changed was I gave Cory almost all of Caleb’s old clothes. I kept several t-shirts to sleep in at night, anything to remind me of him. I kept every picture exactly where it stood, I doubt I ever change another thing in this apartment. A new semester starts tomorrow, I’m a little weary about it but I’m almost done. I can’t help but to think about the way the past semester started. Just five months ago, Caleb was here and we were cooking dinner together before heading out for the night. Now I’m alone finishing the small pot of alfredo for myself. I drain the noodles in the sink as I finish the sauce. Everything mixed together looks amazing and I can’t wait to dig in. I pour myself a glass of wine and sit alone on the couch flipping through the channels. I settle on the movie 27 Dresses. It’s older but I love it. I laugh and cry as I lay on the couch. My eyes feel heavy so I turn off the television and go to lay in the bed Caleb and I shared for years. His pillow remains in the same spot, cold and unused. Tonight, I grab it and hold it tight as I close my eyes and succumb to a peaceful sleep. *** Morning comes too quickly and I hit the snooze on my alarm several times before finally dragging myself out of bed. I’m silently cursing myself for scheduling an early class as I prepare my cup of coffee. I have two classes this morning before I head to the bookstore for the rest of the afternoon. I never had to want for anything when Caleb was alive. Not one single thing. He made sure I was more than taken care of and his parents tried to continue that, but I refused to burden them. I signed on to work at the bookstore this semester to attempt to put the money back into my account that Caleb had used. How hard can it be working at the bookstore? It can’t be more than making sure the books are in their right location and all the merchandise is set out for students to buy. I get a little bit of a refund off tuition, but that won’t even hardly put anything back that he took. It’s one of those mornings. I’m having a hard time finding something comfortable to wear so I settle on a pair of capris and a t-shirt from a local walk I participated in a few weeks back. Once I’m satisfied, I slide my feet into my sandals before I pull my hair into a low bun that sits right at the nape of my neck and apply just a small amount of powder and eyeliner. I smile at myself in the mirror giving myself the confidence I need. My phone dings and Megan’s name pops up. I grab the phone to read her message: Megan: Want to grab coffee before class? I immediately respond: Me: Sounds great, I’ll meet you in a few. Getting ready to walk out now. I grab my pink Jessica Simpson wallet and place it inside my backpack before heading out the front door. I walk right up to Caleb’s black 2011 Dodge Ram and unlock the doors. Right after his death, we weren’t sure what to do about his truck. I was driving his mom’s car for the time being because of the so-called accident. His dad took the truck back to their house for a while and on my birthday two months ago, they told me they wanted me to have it. I cried like a baby as I remembered all the times he and I had with this truck. I vowed to keep it forever. The truck roars to life and I slowly make my way towards campus. After several minutes, I finally park the truck and make my way towards the coffee shop. Megan is already standing outside and smiles as she sees me walk up. “Hey Syb! I thought we could use a first day of class pick me up.” She embraces me in a tight hug and I hug her back. “You my friend, are a genius. This was a great idea.” We walk inside and the coffee shop is buzzing with students who had the same idea. I order a French vanilla latte and savor the first sip. I can practically hear myself moan, that’s how good it is. “So what class do you have first today?” I ask Megan. “Ugh, I have Biology. I flunked last semester because I didn’t study enough. Cory said I should retake it now and just
get it over with. I have to hit the books extra hard this semester or he isn’t going to let me go to 80’s night.” She’s pouting and I can’t help but laugh at her. They’ve continued to go to 80’s night, but I haven’t been since Caleb’s death. Megan tried a few times to get me to go. She even bought us matching pink leg warmers thinking she could woo me and she almost did. I just couldn’t bring myself to go. The memories are just too painful. “Whoa, Cory must be serious if he’s threatening 80’s night. Speaking of Cory, where is he this morning?” “Oh you know, he was smart and didn’t schedule an early class like us. His first class is at 11:00am. He is deathly serious. By the way, we’re going this weekend Sybil. You should come.” I shoot her some eyes begging her not to start this, but she dismisses the look and continues, “I know it’s hard for you but it’s a hurdle you have to get through. We’re going to be there too you know. Plus, I still have those matching leg warmers! They’re super cute by the way!” I roll my eyes at her. She’s completely insane. “I’ll think about it.” “What?!” she shrieks. “Did you just say you would think about it?” “Yes Megan, I said I would think about it. Don’t push it.” I laugh. She throws her hands up in surrender laughing, “I won’t push it, I promise.” “Let me get through the next few days and I will see. I start working at the bookstore this afternoon so who knows, I may be exhausted come the weekend.” “Oh yeah, you did sign up for that didn’t you? I forgot. Do you think you’ll like it?” I give her a half smile. “I hope I will. I need to make some money to put back in my account and something to do with my free time.” “Don’t you forget about me. I need some of that free time too missy.” Those five words, don’t you forget about me , bring me back to the morning Caleb killed himself. Quickly, I dismiss that fact and do my best to put a smile on my face. “I know,” I laugh. “Trust me, you are top priority. It’s not an all-night job. We’ll still have our dinner dates.” After I moved back into the apartment Caleb and I once shared, Megan made me promise to come over at least twice a week for dinner. It’s become a weekly ritual for us and once a week they come over to my apartment. Cory had a hard time in the beginning but he is getting better week by week. “That reminds me. Tonight is your night, we’ll be over at the usual time.” I almost forgot and I’m glad she reminded me. My mind quickly thinks to what I have in my freezer that I can cook for them. “Sounds great. I was thinking of making crawfish enchiladas. I have some crawfish tails in the freezer that I can pull out and everything else is in the pantry.” My mouth is salivating just thinking about it. I haven’t made them in forever, it’s been a while. “Hell yeah, that sounds good. Now, I can’t wait. Thanks Sybil.” “You know how I do.” I laugh. “Now, you’re stuck all day thinking about it.” We talk for a few more minutes before heading our separate ways to class. I have an education class this morning, better than biology like Megan. I can survive this first day of class. I can and I will. *** The first day of the semester is always quick. My first class was easy enough. Education classes aren’t too bad. I just have to go to a local elementary school and sit in for a few hours and get the teacher to sign off on my sheet. The next class, which is a form of American History, I learned can be taken online also if I couldn’t make it into class. I don’t trust myself with online courses, so I make a vow to attend every class. This way, I know I will do the work and be able to pass. I begin my walk to the bookstore, ready to get this so called work over with. I size the building up before mustering the courage to walk inside. I pull out the email I printed the other day with the name of the lady who is supposed to get me set up. I continue to walk as I study her name. Lydia Horn. That’s easy enough. My mind is everywhere but where it should be as I continue walking in the bookstore. I look up a little too late and run straight into the back of a tall stranger. The stranger turns around and flashes the brightest smile I’ve ever seen. A smile that tells me he could have whatever he wants. His eyes are the deepest blue, the kind of blue you see out in the middle of the ocean and his hair is short and light brown. He’s wearing jeans that hug him in all the right places and his black polo shirt leaves little to the imagination with how tight it is. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” I mumble trying to quickly look for an escape route. “It’s not every day a beautiful woman runs into me.” He smiles that smile again. Oh brother, get me out of here now. This is not the day and I am not in the mood. I’ve hardly paid attention to the opposite sex since Caleb, and I
have no intentions to start now. An older lady with light blonde hair walks by and I immediately start up a conversation with her. “Excuse me, can you help me find Mrs. Horn? I’m supposed to start work today.” Tall, dark, and handsome turns basically putting himself into my conversation which I don’t appreciate at all. I wish he would just walk away and go mind his own business. “I’m Mrs. Horn. Please forgive me, I’m horrible with names. You are?” “I’m Sybil Hayes.” I extend my hand and she grabs mine shaking it. “I was also looking for you Mrs. Horn. I’m Blaine Williams.” He flashes his smile at her and she smiles warmly back. What a kiss ass. I feel myself rolling my eyes and I hope neither of them are looking at me. “Let’s get you two into the computer and I’ll show you what needs to be done.” She leads the way towards a computer with Blaine and myself trailing behind her. She’s pointing out different sections in the store briefly acquainting us with our new surroundings. He’s walking close to me, almost too close for my comfort. I can smell his cologne and I have to admit he smells like sex on legs, but I quickly dismiss that thought. I refuse to think anything about this guy. “So, Sybil is it?” He leans into my ear. His breath tickles against my skin and I try to distance myself. “Maybe we could grab some coffee sometime?” “Don’t count on it. I’m busy.” I whisper back. “I don’t believe you.” “Well, believe because I don’t have time for you.” I snap at him. He doesn’t have a chance to say anything else because we are now at the computer where Mrs. Horn shows us how to clock in. My teachers this morning shot me the dreaded sympathy look. Everyone knows about me, poor Sybil Hayes whose boyfriend committed suicide last semester. I hate the looks, you would think they had something else to think about by now. I quickly decide I like Mrs. Horn. If she knows anything, she doesn’t act like it and I get no special looks or treatment from her. After a few quick instructions, she sends Blaine to straighten the books and I get sent to unload a box of new sweaters and t-shirts. All I have to do is hang them up and make them look nice, sounds easy enough. I’m more than relieved that Blaine is not around me and I can concentrate on my job. It only takes me about an hour to hang the clothes and I take a step back and smile at what I’ve done. Mrs. Horn walks by and commends me on a job well done. I move to continue straightening displays and anything else I can do to make time go by. After two hours have passed, I stand back and admire my work. I continue to smile, until all my happy thoughts are interrupted. “Good job, doll face.” I immediately scowl. I don’t even have to turn around to know it’s Blaine. I knew better than to think I could get away without having to see him again today. Why did I take this job again? “What did you call me? I have a name and it’s not doll face.” “You’re so cute though, I want to call you doll face.” This guy has some damn nerve. “Yeah, well I want to call you…” “You two can go ahead and call it a day and finish up tomorrow. Thank you so much for your help.” Thank you Mrs. Horn for saving the day. I want to wrap my arms around her but that may look funny, so instead I smile and thank her. Without looking back, I hurry to clock out and grab my backpack. I run out the door and make a beeline to my truck and once I’m inside I feel safe again. I’m flustered more than I should be. I should have just ignored Blaine and his stupid comments, but I let him get to me. Frustrated, I hit the steering wheel and let a few cuss words fly. When I’m content, I drive away and head back to the one place I feel safer than anything. Home.
Chapter 5 Blaine I knew she was beautiful. I knew that from looking at her pictures before I came here. Caleb Thomas was damn lucky to have her, but he threw that shit out the window. It was his fault though, when he went to Landon, he should have known what he was getting into. He knew Landon would come for him if he didn’t keep up his end of the deal. He never paid what he promised and he knew what would happen. I can remember like it was just yesterday, when he came to Landon, begging him not to go after his family or his fiancée. He offered every last penny he had but it wasn’t enough. His interest had already skyrocketed to where no matter what he paid, he’d never be free of the threats. Landon doesn’t play with his money. He’s deathly serious and when I say deathly, I mean it. He’s had to do it before and if Caleb hadn’t taken his own life, Landon would have had to do it again. Landon didn’t tell him that though. Sad part is, this poor girl has no idea. She’s so naïve to any of this. She has no idea that I was sent here to either get the money or get her. Seeing her made it worse, I said she was beautiful but no. She’s a damn goddess. I have to stop thinking with my dick and remember what I was sent for. I have a job to do and Landon expects me to complete it. Fuck, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m in over my head. She practically ran from me after she clocked out on the computer. My flirting definitely sent her over the edge. I try to look for her but all I see are the throngs of students milling around and she is nowhere to be found. I’m a little aggravated and for a second, forget why I’m even here. My phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket to see Landon calling. He’s the reason I will never forget why I’m here in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. “Hey Landon.” I answer coolly. “Did you find the girl?” He asks without any hello or anything. I run my hand over my hair before letting out an aggravated sigh. “I found her. She barely talked to me though and she bolted out of the bookstore before I could say anything else.” “I didn’t send you there to hold a fucking conversation with her. I sent you there to collect what’s mine. Do I need to send someone else to do the job?” Dammit, he sees straight through me and he’s just over the phone. Stop thinking with your dick, Blaine. “No Landon, I’ve got this. Do you really think it’s best to just walk up to her and say give me the money your fiancé owes?” “Why didn’t you? I don’t have time to play games, Blaine. Get the job done and quit fucking around or you and the girl can both go meet Caleb six feet under.” I gulp at his words knowing this is no damn joke. In a matter of minutes, he could be here and all hell would break loose. I suddenly feel something different come over me. I can’t let anything happen to Sybil. I’ll take care of this my own way, not Landon’s, if I have to. He will never know that though. “Look, have I ever done you wrong Landon? I’ve always taken care of the problems you’ve sent me to handle. This girl is nothing different. I said I’ve got it ok?” “You better. I think I’ve been nice enough giving her time to mourn his untimely death. I’m not feeling so generous anymore though, so just get it done and then hopefully she can enjoy the rest of her life. I’ll check in later.” End of call. I mutter a few curse words as I stuff my phone back into my pocket and then head to my truck. It’s only early afternoon but I need a damn drink. Landon didn’t have to go there and he did. I have to do my job and I have to do it right or it just may cost me and Sybil our lives. I drive to the nearest bar and order a Crown and Coke. I tell the bartender to keep them coming while I sort through these thoughts in my head. Funny thing is, every thought I have ends with her beautiful face staring back at me. I’m screwed. *** Sybil I walk into the apartment still feeling flustered but I have to shake it off before Cory and Megan show up later. I can’t let them know any of this, it’s not like anything happened. Right? I just had an encounter with someone of the opposite sex for the first time since Caleb. It was an unwelcome encounter, even though he was definitely easy on my eyes. I pull out the pack of crawfish tails and set them in warm water to thaw. While they thaw, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the couch. I hate how lonely the couch feels sometimes but I don’t let myself think on that right now. I can’t get those damn ocean blue eyes out of my head. The fact that I’ll have to work with him for the rest of the semester aggravates me. He seems like the kind that can mess everything up and possibly make me forget. I never want to forget. Ever.
After thirty minutes of watching boring television, I go and pull the tails out and begin to prep dinner. Cory and Megan will be here soon and I’d like to have dinner ready by then. I set my pan on the stove and begin cooking my Spanish rice. Once it’s cooked, I add the crawfish tails and cheese mixing it all up into a delicious concoction. I almost send myself into a panic when I can’t find the flour tortillas I just bought them the other day, but I’m relieved to find them sitting off to the corner. The oven is preheating and I can’t wait to finish and get these baking. Smelling them now is making my mouth water. I roll the enchiladas and pour the sauce over them before I set them in the oven. I have twenty five minutes to kill, so I retreat back to the couch. I’m barely relaxed when I hear a knock at the door. I bring my wine glass back up to my lips before setting it back down again to go answer. Out of habit, I look into the peep hole and see Cory and Megan standing on the other side. I unlock the door and let them in. Cory hugs me before walking straight to the oven and flipping on the oven light to look at dinner. “Damn Syb, those look amazing. Is it time to eat yet?” “Just a few more minutes, I promise Cory. Are ya’ll as excited as I am that the first day is over?” I ask suddenly wishing I hadn’t. Megan makes a gagging noise and starts laughing. “I hate biology.” “If you would have studied last semester, you wouldn’t have to suffer again, Meg.” Cory states causing her to stick her tongue out at him. I laugh at the two of them. They are funny together. “Well, I did study. It’s not my fault.” “Yeah, ok. Tell that to your professor. How was your day Syb?” He asks and I feel my face turn beet red. Great. “Yeah Sybil, how was the bookstore? Anything cute in there that I may want? Oh, do you get a discount? That would be freaking awesome!” I roll my eyes, laughing, as I push back those eyes that pop back in my mind. “It was ok, classes weren’t bad.” “Hello, earth to Sybil. I asked about the bookstore!” Cory playfully smacks her arm laughing, “Chill Megan, she’ll get to it and I’m not buying you anything out of there until you show effort in Biology.” She ignores his comment and looks back at me with hopeful eyes. I’m not sure what she’s expecting me to say, but I don’t plan on letting anything out about Blaine and his sex on legs persona. “It was alright, Meg. Nothing great. I hung some sweaters up and fixed some displays. Not too bad for a few hours’ work. I think I may like it.” But I don’t want to like anything about it. Not while he works there too. “I wear a small in case you want to get me something for being an awesome best friend.” I laugh as I go to pull dinner out of the oven. “I’ll remember that, just don’t hold your breath waiting on anything.” “You and Cory are always conspiring against me, it’s not fair.” Cory rolls his eyes at her as he walks over to the food. The aroma smells heavenly and my stomach has officially started growling. I hand them each a plate and we sit down to eat. “I’m not even that tired today.” Cory says from nowhere after swallowing a bite of food. I look at him and begin laughing. “Yeah, you didn’t have class until 11:00am. Lucky you.” I retort. “Hey, not my fault you two weren’t smart. Maybe you’ll learn next semester.” “Doubt it, I’ll probably be retaking Biology.” Megan states and starts laughing when Cory shoots her some eyes, “I’m kidding babe, and I’m totally passing this semester. Serious Megan is here now, no need to worry.” When we finish eating, Cory insists on cleaning the kitchen. I decide I don’t want to argue right now, so I let him. Megan and I retire to the couch while he loads the dishwasher. “I think I’m going to hate the bookstore.” I tell her. No clue why I felt compelled to tell her, but I tell her everything. “Why’s that?” She asks. “I’m apparently not the only new person working in the bookstore this semester. There was a guy,” her eyes light up and she looks like she’s not sure what to say. I decide to continue, “He tried to talk to me and I shut him down. He seemed cocky as hell. He has these beautiful eyes though and he smelled amazing. He was probably just trying to be nice, but I was mean to him. He’s the first guy that’s talked to me since Caleb, and I-I can’t. I ran out before he could find me.” “Oh Sybil,” she pulls me in for a hug. “Am I interrupting a girl moment? Because I can go back in the kitchen.” Cory’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I break the hug from Megan and smile. “Not at all. Come sit with us and we can find something girlie to make you suffer through.” I smile jokingly, as I grab the remote. Megan never mentions anything about our conversation around Cory, which I’m grateful for. I have no intentions of
talking to Blaine again, unless it’s something for work. He’s no one to me and never will be. We decide on reruns of The Big Bang Theory, but never actually watch it. We sit around laughing and talking. For once since this morning, I’m completely at ease smiling and I feel at peace. Then I look up and see a picture of Caleb and I hanging on the wall and I fight the pang of emptiness that really lies within me. He’d want me to smile and be happy though. I can’t be sad every time I see a picture of him. I smile at the picture and then turn back to Cory and Megan, getting caught up in a conversation about 80’s night. Maybe I should have stayed zoned out, but I can’t avoid this forever, Megan won’t let me. “You said you’d think about 80’s night, so have you decided yet? Cory said this may be the last one if I don’t at least pass my first Bio test. You have to come.” “Don’t pressure her Megan…” Cory starts when I interrupt him. “I’ll go.” They both stop wide eyed and stare at me. I’m even shocked by my response. Megan was right earlier though, this is another hurdle I need to cross. It’s been five months and I will be with my two best friends. “Are you sure Sybil? If you aren’t ready Megan will understand.” Cory asks softly. “ Cor, I can’t live my life like this. Caleb wouldn’t want this and you know it. It’s been five months. I need to get out and stop staying inside this apartment like a hermit. If I keep this up, I may end up a cat lady before I’m 30.” He smiles and pulls me in for a big hug. Megan comes behind me, sandwiching me between the two of them. I’ll be forever thankful to the two of them for everything they’ve done for me. Now, I just need to get through the next few days. Can I do it? I can. I can ignore Blaine and his stupid attempt to start a conversation. They visit a few minutes longer before standing to leave. “Don’t forget, dinner at our house tomorrow. Although, I have no idea how we will top this one. I keep forgetting you’re like a little damn Betty Crocker.” Megan laughs. “I doubt I’m a Betty Crocker. I can’t bake to save my life, have you forgotten that?” I laugh, thinking back to Caleb’s birthday last year. I wanted to bake him a cake and it turned out rock hard. I could have given someone a concussion with it. “True, stick to the enchiladas. They were amazing!” I hug them once more before they head out leaving me alone. Each night gets easier and easier, but at the same time it’s still hard. Once I double check the lock on the door, I turn off all the lights and retreat to the kitchen where I refill my wine glass. I’ve had an exhausting day and all I want to do is take a nice, warm bath. I add a few bubbles to make it look pretty and I lay down to where the bubbles reach my chin. I close my eyes for a brief minute, while my hand subconsciously reaches down below where I’m aching to be touched. I miss Caleb’s touch. Slowly, I touch myself igniting sparks I forgot existed. I let a small moan escape my lips as I continue to bring myself to my own personal ecstasy. It doesn’t take long before waves of euphoria crash over my body and I whimper as I feel myself release. I smile feeling refreshed, when a pair of eyes appear in my head. Those eyes aren’t Caleb’s, they are Blaine’s. Shit. I try to block them out as I open my eyes and sit up to practically inhale the glass of wine. I finish my bath and throw on an old t-shirt before cuddling in bed with a book. Not even ten pages in, I pass out. Guess I didn’t realize just how tired I was.
Chapter 6 Blaine I show up at the bookstore at the same time I did yesterday, hoping to see Sybil before it’s time to clock in, but I see she’s by Mrs. Horn and already working. Dammit. I make a mental note to get here earlier from now on, at least until I can get her to talk to me. Yesterday she made it very clear she didn’t want to talk to me¸ but I’m a guy. I’m charming and I know I can get her to look at me without seeming like she wants to lose her lunch. I toss my backpack in the designated area and then head over to the computer. She’s smiling and I’m mesmerized. I try to block out Landon’s words from yesterday and today. He’s already called, reminding me what he sent me here to do again. I gave him the same reassurance I did yesterday. Sybil doesn’t seem like the kind of girl though, who you can just force your hand upon. She’s the kind you have to earn her trust and work your way in with. Unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of time. The minute she sees me, her smile disappears and serious Sybil is back. The one who acts like she hates my guts. “Blaine, just on time.” Mrs. Horn smiles. I smile warmly back. “Now that I have the two of you here, here’s what I need done today. A whole new shipment of textbooks have come in. I need you two to pull the books that are being discontinued and get the new ones set out in their place. When you’re done, come see me and I’ll see what else there is.” The minute Mrs. Horn says we have to work together, I can’t help but smile. This is starting to work a little too perfectly for me. Sybil is wearing a scowl on her face. She’s clearly not happy but the minute Mrs. Horn looks at her, she smiles. I could look at her smile all day long. I want to keep her smiling but I can’t. That’s not in my job description. Mrs. Horn walks away leaving us alone. I turn to look at Sybil with the scowl back on her face. “Well, you don’t seem to happy doll face, let’s get this over with then.” “Stop calling me that.” She hisses walking past me towards the books. Her shoulder brushes against my chest and I suck my breath in. This should be fun. I follow slowly behind her catching myself staring at her ass in those blue jeans. The way her hips sway when she walks, does something to me and I have to think about ponies and my grandma to put those thoughts away. Landon would kill me right now if he saw me. Sybil has already started pulling the history books off the shelf. She’s got five set on the ground when I walk up. She looks frustrated and I keep quiet to give her some space. The next book she grabs, she practically flings it off the shelf and it falls landing on her toes with a thud. “Shit!” she exclaims. She closes her eyes trying hard to deal with the pain and instinctively, I reach down and pick up the book. “Are you ok? I’m supposed to be helping you, you know?” I ask quietly. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help,” she says. I look into her eyes to see she’s fighting back tears, which tells me she’s stubborn as hell. I know it hurt, I heard it hit her foot. She’s wearing flip flops for crying out loud, so there was nothing to protect her. “I’m just trying to help you,” I lean in quietly placing the book on top of the others. “We’re supposed to be a team.” “There is no “we” Blaine. Why don’t you go see if there’s something else she needs you to do? I can handle this.” She tries to hurry and wipe a tear off her cheek, but I see it there and beat her to it. Her cheek is so soft, like puffy white clouds. She flinches back at my touch and stares at me. She tries to back up but almost loses her balance. I reach out to keep her from falling and when she catches her balance she jerks away from me. I seem to be blowing it constantly with her, I need to get it together. This has to go perfectly. I can’t let her get hurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to fall. I’m not leaving you though, this is my project too. You could have hurt yourself if I had walked off. Why don’t you sit on the ground to rest your foot and I’ll hand you these to set in your pile?” She looks like she’s contemplating my peace offering. She sits without saying another word and I begin to hand her book after book. This isn’t how I wanted this to pan out. I wanted to be able to hold a conversation with her and she surely isn’t speaking now. Once the final book is removed, I tell her I’m going in search of a feather duster to clean the shelf before we place the new books on it. She just shrugs her shoulders at me and I turn to walk off. Mrs. Horn gives me a feather duster and I grab a bottle of water. Who knew moving books off a shelf could work up such a thirst? I wait to open the water until after I’ve dusted the shelf. I’m careful to dust in the opposite direction of Sybil. I open the bottle and tilt my head back as I take a sip. I notice her watching me and I can’t tell what she’s
thinking. “Do you want a sip?” I offer to her. “I’m not drinking after you.” She replies. “I don’t have cooties Sybil. It’s just water, I’m trying to be nice.” She dismisses me and proceeds to open the box of books. I shake my head smiling as I set the water on the ground. She begins to hand me book after book and I strategically set them where the others once were. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her trying to stand. Out of pure instinct, I reach out my hand to her. She stares at my hand like it’s the last thing on this earth she would ever touch and then reluctantly grabs it. I’ve held hands with many women, some hands small, some a little bigger, but none of them fit mine as perfectly as hers. With barely an ounce of energy, she is now standing beside me and she does nothing for a moment. Her hand remains in mine and I can feel a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. She clears her throat before calmly pulling hers away. She didn’t yank it away this time. Wow. “Thank you. I don’t want to get in trouble for sitting if Mrs. Horn walks by.” “No problem. Can you hand me my water?” I ask coolly. She hands me the water but holds it to where our hands don’t touch. I wonder if she felt the same thing I did when I helped her up. I tilt my head back once again letting the cool water slide down my throat. I even made sure not to let my lips touch the bottle. She’s watching me again so out of habit I thrust the bottle in her direction. She studies it for a minute. I know she doesn’t trust me but I need her to. This could be the small step to help me earn it. After analyzing the bottle for a minute or two, she finally grabs it from me and takes a sip. Her lips don’t touch the bottle either, but her lips open perfectly to invite the water in. Ponies and grandma. Ponies and grandma. She hands the bottle back and bends down to grab a few more books. I tell myself I won’t look at her ass, but I fail miserably, turning my head just in time so she doesn’t catch me. We continue to work in silence, but I feel triumphant that I’ve gained just a slight bit of her trust. If I have to lie to Landon, I will. I’ll make this last as long as I can. I’ll buy all the time in the world, if I need to. *** Sybil Blaine surprised me today. A lot. I didn’t want him to. I’m so mad at myself for letting him touch me. What in the world did he think he was doing by touching my cheek like that? I’m capable of wiping my own damn tears. It was my fault for not wearing more sturdy shoes but in my defense, I didn’t think I would have dropped a heavy history book right on it. I wish he would stop being so nice to me, I don’t want him being my friend and like I told him, I don’t need his help. He doesn’t listen though, he’s a typical man. I feel like such an idiot for drinking the water he handed me and I hate the way his blue eyes pierced thru me. I’m standing beside him handing him books and I’m relieved to see there are only about five books left. Then, I can finally escape him and hopefully Mrs. Horn will place me somewhere away from him. He’s messing with my head and I can’t handle it. I hand him the last book and I smile that we’re finally done. “How’s your foot? Do you think you can walk?” He asks carefully. Good question. I’m not sure of the answer. I decide to take a step and test the waters. My first step is shaky but I manage to walk without falling. I turn around and flash him a grin. “I’m good. Thanks for your help.” “You’re welcome.” He begins to put the old books in the box the new ones just came out of and he places it in the corner. “Let’s go see what else we need to do for the day.” His grin is contagious and I try not to smile back but I can’t help it. I’m grinning like a damn fool. He walks in front of me and I can see the muscles in his back bulging out of his shirt. Trouble. That’s all he is and that’s what I keep telling myself. I can play nice at work but once I leave these doors, I will pretend I have no idea who he is. He won’t get to me. Mrs. Horn finally makes all my wishes come true when she tells him he can leave. She asks me to stay back for a minute and leads me back to her office. I walk in and take a seat across from her desk. She smiles warmly before clearing her throat. “Sybil, thank you for all your help. You’re probably one of the hardest workers I’ve had in a while. If you’d like to take tomorrow off, you can.” “Take tomorrow off? Are you sure Mrs. Horn? I just started yesterday.” I’m confused. “I know you’re an education major, so if you need to handle anything for your classes, I can give you one day a week off or more if you need.” Makes sense now. I do need to get into a school and complete my hours. I smile warmly at her and reply, “Thank you so much. I actually do have to complete some hours at a local school. One day a week should be more than fine for me to take care of it.” I want to hug her for getting me away from Blaine, for at least one day a week. She doesn’t
realize just what a god send she is. She thanks me again before telling me bye. I clock out, grabbing my backpack ready to head to the truck. I have enough time to go home and change before I head to Megan and Cory’s. The fresh air hits me and I breathe it in smiling. One day a week without Blaine. Hallelujah! I check my phone to see a text from Megan telling me she’s making gumbo. Then, I get a text from Cory saying she’s lying, he’s really making it. I laugh out loud not meaning to, earning me a few looks from other students walking past me. “What’s so funny Sybil?” I turn to find Blaine standing beside me. Wonderful. “Nothing. Just a message from my friend.” He walks step for step with me and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I wasn’t anticipating seeing him again today, but I guess I can be nice for right now. “I just wanted to check on you one more time.” “I’m fine, I told you that inside. Thank you though.” “Want to grab some coffee or something and talk?” He asks. “That’s really sweet of you, but I have somewhere I need to be.” I’m not lying to him, but he looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. He looks like he’s about to speak and his phone rings. He looks at the screen and groans before hitting the ignore button. “Is your girlfriend calling you?” I tease. “Not quite doll face. I don’t have a girlfriend. If I did, I wouldn’t be talking to you. I’m not that kinda guy.” He says with the most serious look on his face. I want to tell him again not to call me doll face, but his phone rings again and he looks purely irritated now. “Looks like someone is trying to get ahold of you, so I’ll see you around.” He stares at the screen and then gives me a sympathetic look before saying, “Yeah, see you around Sybil.” I turn and walk off and realize he didn’t call me doll face this time. Whoever was calling him seemed to change his mood, and I wonder who it could be. He said he didn’t have a girlfriend and I suddenly catch myself wondering why I even care whether he does or not.
Chapter 7 Blaine “Hello?” I answer out of breath and mostly agitated. “What’s your progress Blaine?” Landon asks with a monotone voice. That’s the voice that scares me the most. “I’m getting there Landon, I can’t rush this.” “Why not? Dante would have already sealed the deal and taken care of business. He doesn’t play around, should I have sent him?” The thought of Dante anywhere near Sybil makes my stomach churn and I can feel the bile rising in my throat. Dante is a monster, standing 6’3 and weighing at least 300lbs. He’s pure muscle and scary as hell. I swear, even Landon is scared of him at times. He could hurt her by just touching her hand and I’ll be damned if I let that happen. “Look, I need some time, but I will make this happen. You’ll get what’s yours back. I just need time.” The call goes silent for a moment and I am about to my truck when I hear him begin to breathe into the phone. “How much time do you need?” I let out a sigh relieved he’s agreeing. “I’m not sure, but I need more than two days.” “I’ll tell you how much time you have. You have a month tops to either get the money or bring her to me and I’ll take care of it. If I have to take care of it, nothing good will come of this. You should already know that. I don’t give a shit what you have to do to get it. Play fucking prince charming if you have to. Fuck her until she can’t see straight and promise her the world. Just get my money back.” His words hit me and that bile continues to sit in my throat almost begging to come up. I can’t do that to her, but I have to. I have to somehow seduce her and get into her good graces so I can complete my job and maybe, just maybe I can live my life without thinking about her again. I doubt it, she looks like the kind who sticks with you forever. Those eyes would be forever haunting me from when I fucked her over. “I can do it Landon. Thank you, you won’t regret this.” I try to assure him. “Don’t make me. I’d hate to lose you Blaine. You can be vital but right now, I’d swear you were pussy-whipped. Get it together. Remember, one month at the most.” End of call. Beads of sweat line my forehead as I reach my truck. I wanted to tell him I’m not pussy-whipped. I’m Blaine Williams. I can handle anything, especially Sybil Hayes. I can’t get Landon’s words out of my mind though. I hate myself for having accepted this assignment. I should have gotten out of the business last year when I had the chance, but no, I stayed and now something tells me I will deeply regret that decision. I come to a dead stop before I can open my truck door to get in and I lean over and empty the contents of my stomach. I stand there dry heaving for a few minutes before I’m certain I’m finished. It’s times like this, I really wish Landon were dead. If he was, I could pretend none of this ever happened and then maybe, I could honestly show her that I can be her real life prince charming and not her worst nightmare. *** Sybil I’ve never been more excited to see the inside of my apartment. Today was awkward and I’m not sure what else to call it. I let Blaine begin to get to me and broke my main rule when it comes to him. I change into a pair of jeans and a light blue scoop neck blouse as I get ready for dinner. My eyes roam to my foot and I notice a small bruise forming where the book landed earlier. Great. The decision to keep my sandals on seems to be the easiest decision I’ve made. I’m grabbing my purse and getting ready to lock the door when my phone rings. “Hello?” “Hey Sybil, I know we’re a day late but we wanted to see how school was going?” Caleb’s mom Lillian asks. For the past five months, she’s called at least once a week to talk with me. I treasure every conversation and pray she never stops. “Hey! It’s ok so far. I have a few volunteer hours at an elementary school to complete for one of my education classes, but that’s probably the worst of it. I started working in the bookstore, that’s not bad either.” I say twirling my keys around my finger. “I really wish you would have let us help you so you can focus on school. Caleb would have –“ I interrupt her not trying to sound rude at all, “I need to do this for myself. I know what he would have wanted, but he would also be proud of me right?” “He would most certainly be proud of you Sybil. I know we are.” I smile at her words and let my breath out. “Thank you, that means a lot to me. Listen, I hate to cut our chat short,
but I was just on my way out to Cory and Megan’s for dinner.” “Oh, no problem dear. I was just calling to see if you wanted to come have Sunday lunch with us at the house. I’m sorry we had to reschedule last week. I just wasn’t feeling well.” “I will definitely be there. I love ya’ll.” “We love you too sweet girl.” We hang up the phone shortly after and I smile. I once thought it would be awkward to continue to go to Caleb’s house after everything. I even thought that his parent’s would eventually disown me but they seemed to love me more and that meant everything to me. *** I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in gumbo just now and then Megan had to shove brownies in front of my face. I’m definitely being a pig tonight. Cory leans over to kiss Megan so tenderly on the cheek and I feel a pang of jealousy hit me. I want to be kissed on the cheek. I want to remember what it feels like to have someone want you the way Caleb wanted me. I miss that more than anything. I smile though and they never see that anything is wrong. “It’s almost here, are you ready? You can get ready here with us and I’ll have your leg warmers out!” Megan is a little too pumped. Cory rolls his eyes and laughs. “You two are a damn mess.” He says. “But you love me.” She pouts. “I do love you.” He states and she smiles sweetly back at him. She links their fingers together and sets their hands in her lap. Moments later, Cory excuses himself to go do what he does best, clean the kitchen. He’s so domesticated and Megan didn’t even have to train him. He has a wonderful mama who made him every girls dream. Megan smiles at him watching him saunter his way into the kitchen and when he’s out of hearing range, she turns her full attention to me. “So, any encounters with bookstore boy today?” My face turns beet red and I want to face palm myself for having mentioned this to her yesterday. I should have just kept this quiet. It’s not like anything is going to come of it. She studies me, looking for any cracks she can in my foundation, and now, I know I just have to start talking. “Well, we kinda had to work together today and I dropped a stupid textbook on my foot. See the bruise?” I show her the light green bruise before continuing, “Of course it hurt like hell and I tried hard not to cry but a tear fell. Megan,” I look around making sure Cory isn’t near, “he wiped the tear off my cheek. He touched me!” Her eyes turn huge and she leans in, ever intrigued. “Did you like him touching you?” “What?!” I ask shocked that she would even say something like that. “You heard me,” she smiles mischievously. “Did you like him touching you?” “I, I, don’t…I don’t know. I mean no! I absolutely did not.” I try to answer without screwing it up but she totally sees straight through me. “You liked it. You said you didn’t know which means you thought about whether you did or not and if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have had to think about it.” “I hate you.” I glare at her. “You do not. You know I’m right. Well, what else happened?” She’s sitting up on the couch leaning forward like I’m telling her fairy tales, but my life is far from a fairy tale. My happily ever after went away. I cross my arms over my chest and tell myself I’m not saying another word. We have a stare down that lasts about a minute and a half before I let out an agitated sigh and finish telling her about how I sat most of the time and he tried to offer me some water. She heard it all, and I saw her jaw hit the floor when I told her he helped me up and then I accepted the water. “What did he taste like?” She grins. “How the hell would I know what he tastes like?” “You drank from his water bottle, duh.” She breaks into a fit of giggles and I groan. “My lips didn’t touch the bottle I’ll have you know. The only thing I touched was his hand when he helped me up.” She’s quiet for a moment which scares me. I have no idea what’s going on in her head until she looks at me with the most serious expression she can muster and says, “You know Syb, its ok you know that, right?” Tears fill my eyes, dammit, I don’t want to cry. I won’t. I know she’s right but I don’t want her to know that. I’m not ready to move on but I understand it’s ok to feel attracted to someone. It’s natural for people to be attracted to one another, I can’t help that. “I know Meg. He’s just a stupid guy, probably just being nice so I’m not thinking anything on it. I have to focus on school. Plus, his phone rang twice while he was by me and he didn’t answer which leads me to assume that he has a girlfriend. He’s probably scum.” Even saying those words aloud still doesn’t ease the thoughts of him.
“So you just assumed it was a girlfriend?” she asks. “It had to be, why else wouldn’t he answer a phone call?” “Maybe he didn’t want to talk because he was so wrapped up in your beauty.” I roll my eyes at her and try my hardest not to laugh. “Yeah, ok, Meg.” “You know what they say about assuming right? You make an ass out of you and me. Don’t assume, let him talk to you, woo you maybe. Who knows, you may have fun.” “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” I joke smacking her in the arm. “I’m Megan Lemoine, your one and only best friend. I’ve been here all along. It’s my job to support you and help you where I see fit.” She nods wearing a grin. Smart ass. “Ha, very funny. Enough talk about Blaine, ok?” “He has a name?!” She shrieks and I bat my hand at her begging her to shut up. “Could you be any louder?” I hiss. “Cory is right freaking there!” “Forget him Sybil, its ok. He didn’t hear, I swear. So Blaine, huh?” she wiggles her eyebrows and I grab a throw pillow and attempt to smother her. Lucky for her, I can’t hold the pillow down long enough. Cory comes strutting back in the living room and Megan and I cease the conversation we were just having. He sees me holding the pillow and Megan’s face is crimson as she struggles to catch her breath. He doesn’t question us, just laughs as he sits down. He’s clueless and I like to keep it that way. After all, Caleb was his best friend. I’m not so sure he would understand.
Chapter 8 Sybil Hello Friday! Hello to a few days to myself with nothing to do. Most importantly, no Blaine staring holes into me trying to start a conversation. It’s not going to happen. There is nothing I want to tell him besides where to hang a sweater or if he can grab a textbook for me. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit at the elementary school. I got to sit in on a class of pre-k students and I was exhausted by the end of the day. Everything about it was so rewarding. I promised each and every one of them I would be back next week and I’m counting the days until I can make it happen. I find myself staring at my phone in class almost willing it to vibrate but nothing comes. Megan said she already had a test this morning and her phone would be off until she was finished. Time seems to be taunting me, moving slowly trying to make my life a living hell. Five minutes passes in what seems like five years and the professor finally dismisses us. I jump up a little too enthusiastically grabbing my backpack and making a beeline for the door. Fresh air never felt so good. I see no signs of Blaine as I make my way to the doors of the bookstore. I walk cautiously as if I’m in a field of mines. No Blaine would make for a perfect day. I didn’t see him yesterday and I lived. I survived perfectly fine. See, he doesn’t affect me. “Who are you hiding from?” someone whispers against my ear. I turn quickly smacking into the person, and when I see it’s Blaine, I shoot daggers in his direction. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hiss. “Well you looked like you were on some secret mission. I wanted to see if you needed help.” He smiles that cocky smile and me, I roll my eyes. “Blaine, even if the world were under a zombie apocalypse, I wouldn’t need nor would I ask for your help.” “Ouch, that hurts. I would save your life. Who knows, maybe we could be the ones to repopulate the planet.” My eyes bug out of my head. “Did you really just say that to me?” He smiles again obviously unaffected by the fact that I’m pissed. “I guess I did huh? Maybe I should have just thought it.” “Yeah, maybe, or maybe you should just forget you even though it because you are the last person I would ever touch.” “Why’s that?” He inquires folding his arms over his chest. Over that amazing, muscle filled chest. “You’re not my type.” I state matter of factly. “What’s your type?” “Not you.” I brush past him purposely hitting him with my elbow. I’m not in the mood for these games of his. I immediately walk over to the clothes and start to straighten the mess. I’m a quick worker and that agitates me because time has not moved nearly fast enough. Blaine is flirting with some redhead girl looking for a math book and I’m glad someone has distracted him for the time being. I can only hope she continues to keep him occupied. I’m still reeling from his comments earlier. I walk mindlessly through the bookstore straightening different odds and ends and I’m elated when I find that some time has passed. My phone vibrates and I pull it out to find a text from Megan. Megan: Ugh, I hate tests. I better have passed! Are you sure you’re still coming tonight? Me: Yes, I’m still coming tonight. Megan: How’s work with BLAINE? I scrunch up my nose at the mention of his name and then in all caps. She has lost her mind. Me: Sucks, but human survival may depend on us…according to him anyway. Megan: Say what?! Me: He’s stupid and I can’t stand him. Megan: Yeah ok, I’m sure you at least entertained the idea in your mind. Me: I hate you. Megan: Whatever, be here as soon as you can later. I didn’t reply to her after that. I tried to look up to where Blaine last stood with the girl but neither are in sight. Where did they go? Wait, why do I care? *** Blaine
I had to walk away. I had to remove myself from the equation before I made more of a jackass out of myself. This has got to be the stupidest assignment I’ve ever been sent on. She watches me like a damn hawk and she won’t budge at all. I have to make her budge. She needs to budge or both our worlds will shatter into nothing. Landon will make damn sure of that. I can’t let that happen. When I return from the bathroom, she is nowhere to be found. Something tells me she hauled ass out of the bookstore and my mission of the day has failed. All because I suggested we repopulate the planet because who am I kidding, I’d love to run my hands up and down her body and show her what it means to feel good inside and out. But I’m really kidding because no way in hell can that happen. Fuck. Exiting the bookstore is the best thing I can do right now. It helps get my mind off her. I’m tired of going to the same bar every night and drinking the same old drink. I need a change of environment. I wish I knew where she went so I could see her carefree in the normal world, living her life like she wants to. I can’t help but overhear a few girls talking excitedly about 80’s night tonight at a local bar. Are they serious? They are discussing their outfits like they are living in the 80’s and this is 2014. I roll my eyes ,but then I realize this is something different and I did say I need a change. What will it hurt to get out a little and get my mind off of Sybil Hayes? I know she is all I should be thinking about right now and I do think about her but not in the manner I should be. I’m not thinking about getting Landon’s money, I’m thinking about making her mine. Yeah, it’s official, I’m going to this 80’s night and purging myself of her. Then Monday, its back to business as usual, the real reason I’m here. *** I can hear the sounds of the 80’s as I stand in line to get in. I’m beginning to second guess myself. The thought to turn around and just leave crosses my mind several times but I continue to follow the line like a mindless drone. I see guys wearing everything from parachute pants to the sparkly one handed glove that Michael Jackson wore. What did I get myself into? I just came dressed very modern wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black polo shirt. No way in hell would anyone catch me dressed like this. The women were a totally different story, this was kinda turning me on. Most of them looked like Madonna wannabes. I’ve never seen so many leg warmers in one place, ever. They all had teased hair and I had to check the calendar on my phone to make sure I didn’t really step back into time. Lights were flashing on what was the dance floor and people were dancing all over one another to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ by Def Leppard. I have a feeling I’m going to need a few strong drinks to get into this. As that song ends, ‘Love Shack’ by B-52s begins and I decide it’s time to make my way to the bar. I order a double Crown and Coke and sip it nonchalantly as I watch this major freak of a flashback. I was born in the 80’s, this feels like a weird version of the twilight zone. The song seems to go on forever and I’m glad when it ends and the DJ turns to play something more modern. I begin to relax, this is more like it. I don’t even care what’s playing I just know I’m glad to hear something that doesn’t make me want to drink myself into oblivion. I’m beginning to second guess my decision to come here. I should have gone to some hole in the wall bar like I’m used to. The decision suddenly becomes clear, I will leave as soon as I finish this drink. My eyes roam the bar in search of the bartender so I can close my tab and get out of this time warp. She’s busy at the end of the bar filling shot glasses and handing beers out to the throngs of people waiting. Shit. I raise my hand waving it to get her attention. She sees me and waves to let me know I’m next. Before she can make her way to me, the DJ begins to speak. “Sybil Hayes, it’s been too long. I was wondering how long you would stay away from us.” Holy shit, she’s here. I step away from the bar and begin to scan the crowd. “You know I have to play this for you, its tradition.” I don’t see her yet, but the crowd begins cheering. I want to see her. Suddenly, the room goes black. I can’t see a single thing so I stand still waiting. A spotlight shines in the crowd and a strobe light begins to slowly turn lighting the room in an enchanting manner. That’s when I see her. She looks even more beautiful standing in the spotlight although she looks uncomfortable. I’m taking it she used to come here often with Caleb. ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna begins playing and the crowd begins singing along. She doesn’t move at first, but a girl beside her grabs her beer bottle and begins crooning into it facing a sad looking Sybil. Slowly, I begin to inch my way closer to get a better look at Sybil. She’s wearing an oversized printed sweater that hangs off one shoulder with black tights and pink leg warmers. I said she was beautiful, no she is immaculate. Right as the first chorus is starting, Sybil picks up her beer bottle and begins to sing along with her friend. A smile spreads across my face as I get to see this different side of her. She’s never appeared this carefree in front of me. She sings her heart out throughout the rest of the song and when it ends, she hugs her friend tightly. It looks like she just wiped a tear from her cheek and I want to be the one to wipe her tears away. Once again, we’re back in the 80’s and she’s dancing with her friend again to the up tempo song that’s blasting through the speakers. I
recognize it instantly as ‘Dance the Night Away’ by Van Halen. She twirls around pressing that bottle to her lips and my feet begin involuntarily moving in her direction. She doesn’t see me coming and I like it this way but her friend sees me looking at her and a curious smile slants across her lips. I’m standing behind her. I can smell the hairspray and perfume on her body and I’m instantly taken to another world. The perfect world where she and I can maybe be together without a care. A world without Landon and his demands. “Can I cut in?” I say before realizing it came out. Sybil turns abruptly looking me dead in the eyes. Her smile falters as she continues to stare at me. She looks back to her friend who gives her an encouraging smile but Sybil’s eyes wear nothing but doubt. “I need a beer, you want one Syb?” she asks innocently. If looks could kill, she would be dead. Sybil is clearly not okay with this, but her friend smiles and happily skips off into the arms of a guy. I’m guessing that’s her boyfriend. Instinctively my arms wrap around her waist and I feel her body tense up against mine. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.” I whisper into her ear. I feel like a total dickhead for lying but in this moment, I know I won’t hurt her at all. Slowly she turns to face me, my arms still around her waist and her eyes lock with mine. “Blaine,” she begins to whisper. “ Shhh, its ok. I just want to dance with you, that’s all.” And in the midst of a crowd dancing to an upbeat song, here we are slow dancing. It’s all too perfect.
Chapter 9 Sybil I’ve struggled all night. I struggled with getting ready for tonight. This is the first time I’ve been to 80’s night since Caleb died. Megan is gung-ho, so I will do everything I can to have a good time. Even when the DJ singled me out and played ‘Like a Prayer’, it took everything in me not to cry but I got through it smiling along with Megan. Cory danced a few songs with us before retiring to the bar to sit down and watch us have our fun. I’m shocked and not quite sure how to feel when I hear Blaine’s voice. What the hell is he doing here? Megan doesn’t realize this is him, but she walks away leaving me completely helpless with the one guy I try to avoid on a daily basis. We’re slow dancing in the middle of a Van Halen song and when it ends ‘Caught Up in You’ by .38 Special starts and Blaine begins softly singing the words. Our pace stays the same and I find myself looking up into his ocean blue eyes. They are soft and almost inviting. They are different than the eyes I see normally in the bookstore. This is a whole new side to him and it’s nice. He smells sweet and manly, but at the same time, he smells like heaven. He has the most rugged handsome face with just a hint of stubble. I fight the urge to run my hand across his jawline, I don’t want to freak him out. I’m already freaked out by this situation. The song ends and we’re still standing face to face. It’s like there’s no one else in the room with us but neither of us speaks. Cory comes walking up out of nowhere and grabs my elbow. “Hey Syb, can I talk to you?” He looks Blaine up and down. Shit, this isn’t good at all. Blaine politely steps back giving me room to inch towards Cory. I turn my head back towards Blaine and he’s smiling lazily at me. Oh boy. “Who is that Sybil?” Cory asks. “I work with him in the bookstore. I didn’t know he was going to be here.” “Are you ready for this? What about Caleb?” I look at him suddenly in disbelief. I knew this was coming. I feel my face turn beet red as I try to choose my words carefully. I’m appalled by what he said. “ Cor, I’ve lived five months in an emotional hell because of Caleb. You know I loved him more than anything in this world but he’s gone. All I did was dance with someone.” “He was my best friend, Sybil. I told him I’d look out for you. I promised him before he—before he killed himself.” He whispers. “I know you did and you’re doing great. I’m fine Cory. He was my best friend too and he’s not here. I’m tired of hurting. I just want to have a little fun. It was just a dance, I’m not going home with the guy.” I’m fighting to control my emotions, I want them in check. I can smell Blaine before I see him. He must sense something is wrong and I wish just this once he wouldn’t try to come step in this. “If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself Sybil. I didn’t mean to go all big brother, but Megan walked up without you and said you were dancing with some guy. I’m sorry.” I pull him in for a hug and whisper, “It’s ok Cor, I know you meant well.” He hugs me tightly back before pulling away. He notices Blaine and extends his hand out, “I’m Cory, Sybil’s best friend and that blonde over there is my girlfriend Megan.” Blaine smiles accepting the handshake. “I’m Blaine.” The two talk for a few minutes before the DJ plays ‘Footloose’. I wanted to stand there and listen to them talk but Megan grabs me by the hand and drags me to the dance floor. The entire time we line dance, my eyes are glued to Cory and Blaine. They seem to be getting along. I knew Cory would go all big brother eventually, but I don’t see why he did it with Blaine. There will never be anything with the two of us. Blaine meets me on the dance floor again a few songs later and this time I don’t fight him. I admit, I sort of like the feel of his hands on my waist. His hand slides down and rests on my butt and I try not to let him see me blush but I fail miserably. “Is this ok?” he whispers into my ear. All I can do is nod my head. I’m too scared to speak. My words would make no sense right now. Where the hell is sensible Sybil when I need her. My mind knows this is wrong. I avoid Blaine for a reason but yet here I am letting him grope my ass. I’m not drunk. I’m nowhere near the level of being drunk, so that isn’t an excuse. I close my eyes and all I can do is smell him. Good God, this feels a little too right when I want nothing more to think it’s wrong. The song ends and he slightly pulls away. I’m so mesmerized by the moment that I nearly fall forward. His strong arms catch me and I can’t help but jerk my eyes towards his. “How much have you had to drink?” he asks eyeballing me. “Not nearly enough,” I mutter. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Why are you doing this Blaine?” I have to know. Yes, I’m ruining possibly the best moment but I can’t help it. “Doing what? Dancing with you? You’re beautiful doll face, I couldn’t help it.” There’s that sexy lazy smile, the one that I hate because it does all kinds of gooey things to my insides. I scrunch my nose up at his nickname for me slowly pull myself away from him. As I lean forward, he inches closer and closer until his mouth is a breath away from mine. Oh. My. God. I can feel my breath hitch and my heart begins pounding relentlessly inside my chest. Just as I think he may lean in to kiss me, my heart takes over and I snap out of it. I can’t let this happen. ‘ Livin on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi starts up and I fight the tears starting to sting my eyes. For a moment, I see Caleb’s face and emotion takes over. Caleb sang this to me the first time he said I love you, this isn’t right. I step back removing my hands from him and shake my head. “Blaine, this can’t happen.” “What’s happening Sybil? I haven’t done anything.” “I have to go.” I turn on my heel and walk as briskly as I can without running into anyone. Cory and Megan are slow dancing together and my guess is they didn’t see me or Megan would be running after me. I find a corner that no one is around and I back into it letting out an aggravated breath. I want to scream, I want to punch the wall. This is unfair. My heart isn’t ready for this, so why is it betraying me? “Sybil?” Blaine whispers. Dammit, of course he found me. I look up to meet him, I can’t help the tears that are welling up in my eyes. They have nothing to do with him, but he doesn’t know that. It’s all this damn song. I hear it and it’s like I can feel Caleb holding me as we dance and his soft voice singing in my ear , “Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear.” But we didn’t make it anywhere. Blaine’s hand meets my cheek and he wipes the stray tear away. This is the second time he’s done that for me. Before I can protest, his lips softly kiss the spot where his hand just was and I feel every nerve in my body ignite. My mind tries to protest and make this nonsense stop but my mind is no longer in control. His lips move from my cheek to the corner of my lips and I hold my breath. He plants one last soft, mind-blowing kiss on my lips and my treacherous mouth kisses him back. Slowly, my mouth opens inviting him in and he kisses me slow and sensuously. I find the back of his neck and pull him closer and he lets out a small growl. He steadies the back of my head as his tongue continues to work against mine. When he pulls away, I’m standing there trying to regain my composure and my breath. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Don’t be mad at me.” I just look at him, I am still stuck in la la land. “Don’t be sorry.” He looks like he’s getting ready to speak or maybe kiss me again but his phone rings and he shoots me an apologetic look as he pulls it from his pocket. His eyes darken at whoever is calling him and he shoves his phone back in his pocket. Frustrated, he runs his hand through his hair and mutters, “Fuck.” “Do you need to get that?” I ask. His eyes go from dark to sad as he looks at me. “I’ll find you in a minute.” And just like that, I’m left in the corner feeling like I’ve been punched in the stomach. *** Blaine Landon would ruin a moment like this, it’s what he does. I’m beginning to worry he isn’t sticking to his word and he has someone here watching me. He told me I had a month, I still have time. I don’t need a babysitter. I wouldn’t be surprised. I know he doubts me for the fact that I haven’t already completed what I was sent here for. Hell, I doubt myself. I have to turn the tables here, I want to protect her. She doesn’t deserve any of this. She doesn’t deserve me. That kiss was electrifying. I didn’t mean to do it. I told myself I wouldn’t do it, but dammit I don’t regret it. She tasted so sweet, like heaven. I walk outside to get away from the music of the club. I’m sure he’s getting ready to bitch me out for not answering the minute he called. Before I can call him back, his name reappears on my phone. “Hello?” “Blaine, Blaine, Blaine.” Fuck this isn’t good. “Tell me something good.” I just stand there listening to the silence on the other end of the line. He’s waiting for me to speak and right now I have no idea what to tell him. “Landon, I’m working on it.” “I know this. You keep telling me that every time I call. When should I see progress? Time is ticking for her….and for you.” I swallow and try to catch my breath. “She’s just starting to trust me ok? I’ll get it done.”
“Think about if this girl and her kiss is worth it. Is it worth your life? Because if I didn’t know any better you’re thinking with your dick and that’s a sure fire way to make this blow up in your face. Think about it Blaine.” End of call. I fucking knew it. He sent someone here, but who? Now I really worry about Sybil and I have to get back inside and make sure she’s ok. I have no idea who is here, but I don’t trust any of them for a minute. He doesn’t trust me, that’s what this says. It hasn’t even been a week and he’s already got someone keeping tabs on me. I turn and practically run for the front doors. I have to get back inside. The minute I step inside, I have to blink a few times to readjust to the lighting. I walk briskly to the corner we just stood in but she’s gone. My heart begins pounding in my chest as the worst scenarios pop into my head. If someone got ahold of her, I’ll never forgive myself. My next stop is the bar but as I scan the bar up and down, there is no sign of her or her friends. The last place to look is the dance floor and for the first time in my life, I’m praying to God that she is there dancing without a care in the world with a beautiful smile on her face. But I’m crushed when I look all over the crowd and see that she is nowhere to be found. This night has turned into a nightmare and I won’t stop until I find her and know she is safe. I head back for the doors praying I missed her, but I still don’t see her. I run outside and scan the area for any vehicles that look out of place. I see nothing and my heart is pounding harder than before thinking someone has already taken her and she’s gone. “Dammit!” I yell not caring who hears me, but not many people are outside. They are all still inside stuck in the 1980’s. No one knows the danger Sybil may be in, and they probably don’t care but I do. I got her into this mess, now I will get her out of it. I’m about ready to head to my truck and start scoping the area out a little closer when I hear a laugh. My eyes dart across the parking lot and I see her. Shit, I see her! I’ve never been more excited in my entire damn life and I don’t give a fuck who Landon has here watching me, I need to talk to her one more time. I wish I could warn her to be careful but that would blow my cover and I can’t do that. I can’t risk her not being able to trust me. I may be the devil, but deep down, I’m her heaven sent angel. I’m the one who can truly keep her out of harm’s way. “Sybil!” I call out as I jog to where she is. She turns abruptly looking rather shocked that I’m running towards her. The blonde girl beside her smiles widely and looks between Sybil and I. I see Cory and am at least glad she rode with them. I feel much better about her safety now. When I finally reach her, I’m almost out of breath but I quickly regain composure. “You’re leaving?” “Yeah, we’ve had our fun for the night.” She’s acting like we didn’t share something completely beautiful moments ago, but that’s probably for the best. “Can I have your phone number?” She looks at me like I just rattled off a whole story in Japanese. Cory looks at me suspiciously before shaking his head and stepping into his truck. His girlfriend nudges Sybil before doing the same and then it’s just the two of us outside the truck. “You want my phone number?” “If you want to give it to me, yes.” I say hopeful she will. I need to know she’s safe when I’m not near her. She closes her eyes like she’s thinking and when she reopens them she has a faint smile on her lips. Quickly she rattles off a number and I quickly save it to my phone. I text her immediately so she has my number. Me: Will you let me know when you make it home doll face? She stares at the text then gives me an ‘are you kidding me’ look. I don’t think it’s because of what I asked, it’s because of what I called her. I can’t help it, she will learn to like it. She doesn’t answer but begins typing on her phone. Sybil: I suppose I can do that. I smile as she backs up to the truck door. “I’m glad I got to see you tonight. I didn’t know you came to this.” I tell her. “It’s kind of a big deal for Cory, Megan, me and--,” she stops herself and I know exactly who she was getting ready to name. Waves of guilt crash over me because I wish I had no idea who he was or what he did. It’s not that easy though, because I know everything. “It’s just really fun, we like it. I’ll, uh, see you at work Monday Blaine.” And just like that she climbs in the truck and they pull away. I feel a little more at ease, now that I have a way to get ahold of her, if something’s wrong. I can never let her feel like she’s in danger. I can’t scare her away at all. I’m cautious walking back to my truck but still see no signs of danger. I climb into my truck and let it roar to life. I notice a paper under my windshield wipers and I roll the window down to grab it. My eyes widen when I read the handwritten words:
That kiss was sweet. I wonder if she’d kiss me like that? Who knows what else I may be able to get her to do if you fuck this up. Landon says hi. I recognize the handwriting immediately and my stomach begins turning. Landon sent Dante here and if he so much as puts a hand on her, I won’t stop until I kill both of them. I’m getting ready to pull out of the parking lot when my phone buzzes. I’m irritated thinking its Landon and I’m ready to unleash and give him a piece of my mind but I see it’s a text from Sybil. She actually did it. Sybil: I’m home. See you Monday. Me: See you Monday doll face. No response after that but I didn’t really expect one either. I want to get as far away from this club as I can. I’m livid that Dante is here somewhere watching. Two can play at this game.
Chapter 10 Sybil Today is Sunday, it’s the day I go visit Caleb’s parents. I had all day yesterday to sit around and think about the night before at the club. All I could think about were Blaine’s lips on mine and how daring he was to come up to me and ask for my phone number. Maybe I am wrong about him. He could be a really great guy and here I am refusing to see that. It’s not like he’s asking me to marry him or even go on a date, not that I’m ready for anything like that. Surely it won’t kill me to be nice, will it? At the same time, I haven’t even heard from him since he requested that I let him know when I got home. Oh well, I’m not losing anything over it. Megan called me yesterday trying to drag the details out of who the club guy was and I practically went deaf when I admitted that was Blaine. She asked how come I didn’t tell her right away and now that I think about it, I have no clue why I didn’t. The drive goes by a little too quickly and I’m now parking in the driveway staring at the magnolia tree that mocks me and the happiness Caleb and I shared. Who am I kidding? I can’t be mad at a tree. The tree didn’t do anything wrong, it just stands there in its beautiful glory, leaves blowing in the wind. I stand still, letting the breeze sweep over me before walking myself to the front door. It still hurts like hell to walk into this house, but I do it because this is the only family I know now. Gently, I knock at the door before turning the knob and pushing it forward. Just like I’ve done many times, I step inside and I smell what I think is pot roast. My stomach instantly begins growling, begging for just a small taste. My eyes dance over the same pictures of Caleb and me in the foyer, I miss that beautiful smile of his. I miss everything about him. “Sybil! Come on in, we’ve been waiting for you.” David wastes no time ushering me inside. “It’s so good to see you. It smells delicious in here.” I stop and pull Lillian in for a hug. She hugs me tightly back. “Sybil, I thought I heard you. How’s school going? Are you ready to quit at the bookstore? You know we will help you get your money back.” “David—“ “Ok, I won’t push it. I had to ask. Just say the word and it’s done.” “Yes sir. This semester is actually pretty easy so far. I have decent professors and I love going up to the school and seeing the kids. That’s my favorite part.” “We’re so proud of you, honey. We can’t wait to watch you graduate next year.” David smiles at me. “I can’t believe I’ve come this far. I never even imagined I would get into college.” “Believe it, Sybil. We’re behind you completely.” We chit chat a few more minutes before eating lunch. It’s a late lunch but that’s ok. I’m stuffed. Lillian Thomas can make one hell of a pot roast. She tempts us with dessert, banana pudding to be exact and I get a small helping. I’m not ready to leave yet, I still treasure every memory. All three of us sit in the living room while Mr. Thomas begins flipping through the TV guide. “Never anything but junk on anymore.” “I know, I can’t stand reality TV and that’s all you ever see.” I’m not a typical young lady. I can’t stand reality TV, it’s not real. It’s fake and people are just too into it to see it. “I thought I saw a movie a few channels back, I’ll just put that on and hope it’s something good.” I smile and relax as he goes back a few channels. I’m not even sure what’s on, but we watch it laughing and talking the whole time like nothing ever happened. It’s nice, but at the same time, it feels so wrong. Lillian gets up and disappears for a few minutes before coming back into the living room. She smiles as she sits beside me keeping her fist closed. I’m curious and nervous all at the same time. I have no idea what she has or why her eyes are beginning to look glassy like she may cry at any time. “Sybil, no matter what happens, no matter where life takes you, we want you to remember you will always be like our daughter. This was my grandmother’s pearl ring. Caleb was going to give it to you the night you two got married. We had it turned into a necklace so you can wear it. I want you to have it.” My jaw drops, hitting the floor with a loud thud. All I can hear is my heart pounding as I stare at the beautiful ring. “I can’t accept this.” “Yes, you can. We want you to have it. Nothing would make us happier.” She insists. I look to David for some kind of help with this, but he just smiles and nods his head for me to take it. Slowly I reach
for the necklace and cradle it in my hand. This necklace is beautiful and there is no way in hell that I can ever wear this. If anything happened to it, I could never live with myself. “I can’t wear it.” “Yes, you can. Let me show you.” She gently pushes my hair from my neck and places the necklace on me. Once she clasps it together, I steady my hands to hold it. I need to feel is against my bare hands. I close my eyes and I can picture Caleb holding the necklace in his hands. I can feel him breathe into my ear, that I’m the only one for him. I open my eyes and am brought back to the cruel reality that is now my life. “I’ll treasure this, forever.” I tell her. The smile on her face tells me she knows I will. It breaks my heart to see the sun beginning to set. Time has flown by and now I have to head home alone, alone with nothing but my memories to keep me warm at night. I hug them tightly, promising to come back next week. I wonder if Caleb is smiling down, knowing they still love me. Speaking of Caleb, I decide I need to go see him today. I was going to wait until tomorrow but I miss him terribly, especially after this visit to his parents. I usually stop and buy flowers but I just drive until I reach the cemetery. I climb out of truck carefully holding onto the necklace like it’s my lifeline, as I make my way slowly to where he lays. My beautiful, sweet Caleb, the only guy I’ve ever truly cared for. “I miss you.” I whisper to the headstone. I know he can’t hear me, but I continue to speak anyway. “I think you’d be proud of me. School is going good and Cory has kept his promise. He’s the best I could ask for. I just came from your parents’ house. Mom cooked a roast and it was good. She gave me the pearl necklace today. I told her I couldn’t accept it but she insisted. I wish you were here to have given it to me, but I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life.” A rumble of thunder rolls in the distance and I look up at the sky. I should have watched the weather, but that was the last thing on my mind. I stare at the headstone for another few minutes before blowing a kiss and straightening myself up. It’s getting easier to walk out here and not completely lose my mind. For a while, I couldn’t come out here without breaking down into nonstop tears. I’m proud of myself for the strength I’ve obtained throughout this whole ordeal. “I love you Caleb.” I say before turning to walk away. The wind is beginning to pick up and I’m sure any minute now, the sky will open up and dump buckets of rain onto my poor unsuspecting self. I walk with my head down trying to shield myself from the wind and not paying attention. The only thing I care about is getting to the truck and getting home. Out of nowhere, a man steps out causing me to nearly trip and fall. I tried to stop but I was walking so fast, I nearly lost my balance. His arm catches mine and I look up to apologize for my clumsiness. I gulp as I look into the deep black pits in this man’s eyes. He looks ruthless and I’m really hoping he doesn’t decide to lay into me for my mind being absent. His bald head has a few raindrops on it but he doesn’t move to wipe them away. His arms are absurdly huge and he looks terrifying. He says nothing though, but instead just stares at me, completely creeping me out. My body shivers as I pull my arm away and straighten myself up again. “I’m sorry,” I mutter as I walk even faster, not stopping until I reach the truck. When I get inside, I lock the doors immediately. *** Blaine To say I’ve thought about Sybil every second since 80’s night, is an understatement. She has utterly consumed every thought I’ve had. I’ve controlled the urge to text or call her to make sure she’s safe. I haven’t heard anything from Dante or Landon since I found out Dante is in town. I’ve been lying low, which is easy on the weekend but I can’t exactly do that come Monday. I know Sybil is safe right now, but on campus, that’s where the dangers lurk. She would never suspect them and I can’t leave her to fight the demons when she doesn’t even know they exist. *** I feel like a creeper standing off to the side of the building watching Sybil talk to her friend, Megan. I should just walk up and talk to them. I mean for hells sake, I had my tongue down her throat the other night. I waited for her to slap me or walk away for kissing her, but she didn’t. She kissed me back. I guess I just had to see if she was over Caleb or not. I don’t expect her to be over him now or probably ever, but I needed to see if I at least stand some sort of chance with her. My phone buzzes and I’m praying it’s not Landon. My prayers are answered but as soon I think they are fully answered, I read the message. Dante: Landon said you have 3 weeks. Her sweet ass looks good in those jeans, am I right? My eyes roam around looking for him. He’s either here walking around watching her or he’s fucking around with me. I don’t put anything past him and suddenly, my feet begin moving forward towards Sybil. She can’t see me coming but Megan looks up and suddenly begins smiling. Sybil turns to see the reason for the smile and I’ll be damned if there isn’t a hint of a blush on her cheeks. My smile widens as I stop right beside her. Her hair is blowing
and she tries to tuck it behind her ear but I catch it for her and her cheeks turn a deeper red. “Well hello, Blaine.” Megan pipes up. Sybil clears her throat and tries to play off the fact that her face is a crimson red, but she’s not good at it. “Hey Megan,” I turn to Sybil. “Hey doll face.” She scrunches her nose and sticks her tongue out at me. “Did you really have to call me that?” “What else am I supposed to call you?” “We go through this everyday Blaine.” She sighs with her hand on her hip. I laugh watching her as she cocks her head to the side. “Well, you two have fun working. I have things to do, like study for Biology so Cory doesn’t fuss at me. I’m swamped already. I hate school.” “Well, let’s cancel dinner tonight and we can reschedule, so you can study.” Sybil tells her. It’s Megan’s turn to scrunch her nose as she waves bye and walks off. I scan the area one more time looking for any signs of Dante and when I feel it’s safe, I place my hand on the small of her back and guide us towards the bookstore. She doesn’t flinch or move my hand, she lets me guide her. I know this is a big step for her, I would never do anything I thought might make her uncomfortable. “Why did you really want my number?” she asks out of nowhere. I turn to face her, she’s looking at me curiously waiting for me to answer. “I told you, I wanted to make sure you got home safe.” “Hmm, ok. So that’s it? Just to make sure I got home safe? What does it matter to you?” Shit, she’s smart. I have to cover this up and fast before she starts to suspect something is wrong. “You had something to drink and I’m sure Cory did right? I wanted to make sure you were ok.” She stops and stares at me again. I’m worried she sees through me, I can’t screw this up. “Whatever you say. Do you always ask women you barely know their numbers?” “I know you.” “Not really. You know nothing about me.” That’s where she’s wrong, so very wrong. “Well, tell me something.” “My name is Sybil.” She smiles. “Smartass,” I say before I smack her on her ass. She yelps letting out a laugh as she runs for the bookstore. I want to chase her, push her up against the wall and kiss the hell out of her, but instead I shake my head smiling as I follow her.
Chapter 11 Sybil Blaine is smiling at me and I can’t help but smile back. What the hell is this guy doing to me? I thought it would be awkward to see him after the kiss we shared the other night, but it’s not. He isn’t treating me any differently, I mean he’s still calling me doll face for crying out loud. I won’t admit it to him, but I am getting attached to the nickname. I’m standing in front of a display of t-shirts trying to figure out which ones should go in front and I’m mindlessly holding the pearl in my hand. I haven’t taken the necklace off since Caleb’s mom gave it to me the other day. I really should store it in my jewelry box to keep it safe, but I feel like he is with me when I wear it. I feel stronger, I feel happier. “What are you thinking about?” Blaine whispers scaring the hell out of me. I jump before turning around letting the pearl land against my shirt. “I don’t know which shirt should be placed in front. Why aren’t you working?” “I already finished my job for the day, Horn wanted me to see if you needed help.” He smiles letting it reach his eyes. That damn smile is infectious and I smile back. He studies the shirts seriously before speaking up. “Well doll face, I think purple one should go in front and put the yellow ones behind them. Or if you wanted to shake things up, you could do one purple, one yellow, and so on.” “You think that could work? Let me see.” I grab the shirts and begin to place them in the order of his purple and yellow idea and they actually look really good. “I like them, good idea. Thanks.” “You’re welcome. See, and you said you would never need my help. I’m going to document this.” I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Whatever, you’re an ass.” “You have no idea.” He says smiling again. I shrug him off and finish straightening up different odds and ends around my area. He follows me around like a little puppy dog, watching my every move. He doesn’t let me out of his sight, which is sweet but at the same time, I’m wondering why he doesn’t go find something else to do. My stomach growls and I dismiss it quickly. I should have eaten lunch today but I got started talking to Megan and then had to come here. “Well, I think I’m done. Looks good don’t you think?” I ask him teasingly. “You’re perfect.” He says. I stare at him shocked knowing I heard him right. He catches onto what he said because he hurries and covers up by saying, “It’s perfect.” “You are something else Blaine.” “Tell me, what are you doing for dinner Sybil?” “Eating food.” I smile. “No shit, really? I didn’t know you ate food.” “Well yeah, hello, what did you think? I am human after all and humans do eat food.” “With you doll face, I have no idea. I wanted to see if you want to grab a bite to eat after work.” My smile fades as I look at him. No one has asked me to do anything since Caleb, unless it was Megan and Cory. I feel like I’m shutting down all of a sudden and I have no clue why. I didn’t shut down after we kissed but he asks me to grab a bite to eat and it feels like the world is ending. Part of me wants to say yes, to take this plunge but the other part of me is cautioning me to leave it alone. It’s just food, people have to eat but I think tonight I just want to eat alone. “Can I take a rain check? I, uh, have some things to do.” He looks a little hurt by my answer. Nervously, he begins fidgeting in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. “No problem. Can I at least walk you to your car?” I don’t see the harm in that, I can be nice and let him have this one thing. “Uh sure, but I don’t drive a car.” “What do you drive?” “A truck. I’m ready, let’s go.” We clock out and I walk out ahead of him. He catches up walking right beside me. He doesn’t say much of anything, I wonder if he’s still upset that I turned him down for food. If he is, he’ll get over it. His hand brushes against mine and my skin instantly tingles. I pull my hand away and stick it in my pocket trying to play the whole situation off. I hate how with barely a single touch, my body comes alive. I need to keep my body in check around him. I reach for my keys as we near the truck. I smile looking at it and hit the unlock button. “Whoa, this is yours doll face? This is nice as hell!” He begins walking around it, admiring everything from the rims to the leather interior. “Yep, all mine. Thanks, it gets me around.” I almost said it was Caleb’s, but Blaine has no idea about Caleb and I like
to keep it that way. The last thing I want from Blaine is his sympathy. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask. He looks off in the distance and his eyes darken. His face is serious, completely void of the humor he had just moments ago. I look to see what he’s looking at, but I see nothing. When I look back at him, his eyes are softened and he’s smiling at me. “Definitely. Be safe.” “I live like two blocks away, but ok father.” I wink at him and he smiles pulling me in for a hug. My body stiffens a little at his gesture but I loosen up and halfway hug him back. His cologne smells sweet and sexy all rolled into one, and I could literally stand here and smell him all day. When he pulls away, the smell lingers and his hands run down my arms before briefly linking with my fingers. The tingles are back in full force and I can’t move. I can’t breathe, I can’t do anything. He gives my hands a gentle squeeze before releasing my hands. They now feel sweaty and out of habit, I wipe them on my jeans. “See you later, Sybil.” “Right, later.” I stutter trying to regain my composure. I smile before turning to step into the truck. I can only wish for illegally tinted windows so he can’t see the cheesy grin on my face but I know he sees it because his grin is as bad as mine. My eyes glance towards the dashboard and I meet Caleb’s face. Waves of guilt consume me and I suddenly feel as though I can’t breathe. What am I doing? Here I am, the past five months having pretended everything is hunky dory and that I’ve moved on but truth is, I never have and I never will. I’m not over Caleb, he still owns me. Heart and soul. *** Blaine My gut told me to walk her to her truck and my gut was right. Dante was standing in the distance, watching and waiting. If she had been alone, he may have very well made his move and he would have made sure she knew who I was. I can’t let him blow that for me. I’m not ready for her to hate me yet, not when I’m finally getting her to talk to me. The more I see her though, the harder this gets. Hell, the more I touch her, the harder this gets. I can’t stop myself though. I want to touch her, I want to hold her hand and allow myself to feel all these strange things I do when I’m around her. I want to feel that electricity between us and I want to never let it go. I want to kiss her soft lips over and over again. Shit, I have it bad for her. I watch her drive away but I don’t see Dante again. He disappeared but he’ll be back, it’s what he does. He waits in the shadows, stalking his prey and when he feels the time is right, he’ll go in for the kill. I still have three weeks left, that’s what I keep telling myself. I have three more weeks to get Sybil to trust me more and then I can hopefully keep my mind straight enough to do what I came here for. I only pray she can forgive me. I pull my phone out ten minutes later and begin to text her. I need peace of mind, I need to know that she’s ok. With him around, in the blink of an eye everything can change and our worlds shatter. Me: Did you make it home? Almost immediately, she responds. I let out a sigh of relief as I read her text. Sybil: Yes father, thank you for checking on me. Me: You’re welcome doll face. She doesn’t respond, so I slide my phone back into my pocket and begin walking. I’m not ready to leave campus yet. Not until I find Dante and talk to him. I wander around campus, mindlessly watching students walk to and from classes. He’s easy to spot so I should have no problems. I haven’t seen many bald headed huge men on campus. I spotted him immediately while I stood beside Sybil moments ago. I’m stressing myself over this more than I should be right now but I can’t help it. If I smoked, I could have probably smoked half a damn pack by now. After walking around for half an hour, I decide to leave campus for the day. As I approach my truck, I see Dante standing right beside it. Bingo. “Dante.” I say trying to keep my cool. “Blaine.” We stare each other down for a few minutes. My fists are balled up at my side waiting for him to make the first move but he just stares at me longer. “You know why I’m here. I wouldn’t have to be here if you weren’t fucking this up.” “You don’t know shit Dante, so you and Landon need to mind your fucking business. I’m doing my job.” “Don’t push me Blaine, I’m watching her and you. I can’t believe Landon has me babysitting your pussy ass. He should have sent me here to begin with.” My face turns red as I thrust my finger in his face. “Leave her the fuck alone Dante. You come near her again, I’ll break your fucking legs. I want you to leave and let me do my job.”
He grabs my hand and pushes it away forcefully. “You know I can’t do that. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t fucking this up. May as well go ahead and write your obituary, you’re going to end up a dead man. Maybe you and the girl can be buried next to Caleb. Did I tell you I ran into her at his grave the other day? Her arms are so soft.” I cock my fist back ready to pummel his face in, but his hand envelopes mine and twists my arm. I wince in pain trying not to let him see just how much this fucking hurts. “You fucking asshole!” “I could have done the job right then and there. I hear she goes out there often.” He smiles taunting me. He squeezes my hand harder until I’m sure my bones will dissolve into dust. He gives one last squeeze before releasing my hand. It takes a moment for the blood to return and I’m grateful when it does. “I’m serious Dante, stay the fuck away. I swear to God if you touch her…” He turns around and walks off leaving me fuming and still in thought. I have completely fucked this up. It’s my fault, no one else’s, but mine.
Chapter 12 Sybil Angry. I’m angry with myself for ever pretending any of this was ok. Is it ok? For the past five months, I’ve lived my life as if my fiancé never committed suicide. I’ve lived as though my every dream wasn’t ripped to shreds in the most unforgiving manner. I’ve pretended to be ok, when deep down, I’m anything but. I lost the only man I’ve ever loved and I doubt I’ll ever meet anyone who means as much to me as he did. I drive away trying to see through the blurry tears that are forming. I’m sick of living safely like I have no feelings. I have feelings, dammit. As soon as the truck is parked, I run out and make a beeline for the door. Once I’m inside and away from the world, I ball my hands to make a fist and angrily shake them as I fall sobbing on my knees. I don’t care how reckless I may be getting ready to be, I need to let this anger out. I need to be ok. I pull myself off the ground and decide it’s time to change clothes. I slip into a plain black t-shirt and a pair of blue jean capris. Once my hair is pulled back and sitting at the nape of my neck, I walk into the kitchen and grab the bottle of wine out of the refrigerator. I don’t want a glass. Glasses are for refined people, people without a care in the world. I’m broken. I’m the shards of glass lying in the abandoned house no one wants. I take the bottle and put it against my lips and drink it as though it were water. Carelessly, I toss the bottle into the sink and it explodes, crashing all over. I’ll clean it tomorrow. Tonight is all about me. *** This bar sure looks different when it’s not 80’s night. There are no throngs of people dancing around, no colorful clothes. There are just a few guys playing pool and several people sitting around the bar. My head feels a little light from guzzling the wine like it were water so I’m relieved to sit down. “What can I get you honey?” I look up to meet the eyes of the lady behind the bar. She’s smiling warmly at me and I try hard to smile but I can’t make my smile reach my eyes. “Can I get a shot of Jack and keep them coming please.” She looks at me waiting for me to laugh and ask for a cosmo or something girlie but I don’t budge. She fills a shot glass and slides it over to me, in exchange I slide my credit card to her and request a tab. About four shots later, my head is a lot fuzzier than earlier and I’m almost positive if I try to stand, I’ll fall straight on my ass. Way to go Sybil. You’ve made your point, now you need to leave. The voice of reason is speaking to me, but I don’t want to listen. My feet however, are responding as I plant one foot down on the ground. The urge to pee overwhelms me and I clench my muscles together trying to control myself until I can reach the restroom. Both feet are on the ground and with the first step I take, my body leans to the side and I begin to sway. My eyes close but it only makes it worse. I open them and find Blaine staring at me. “What the hell are you doing?” “What’s it to you?” I slur. “You’re about to fall, give me your hand.” I glare at him and continue to struggle to stand still. He really needs to understand I’m about to pee my pants in the middle of this bar. “No, I need to go to the bathroom.” “You can’t walk, let me help you.” “No!” I yell, not caring who hears me. “I don’t need your help! Leave me alone.” I try to step away from him but end up tripping over my own two feet. His strong arm catches me, holding me steady before I can hit the ground. I want to scream at him to let me go. I want to tell him he’s not Caleb and can never be him, but I say nothing else. “Stop it Sybil, people are staring.” He whispers harshly. “Let me just walk you to the bathroom, you would have fallen if I hadn’t caught you.” “Maybe I don’t care Blaine, have you thought about that?” “You’re stubborn, quit it.” He grabs me, throwing my body over his shoulder. My arms flail around trying to hit him but because of my drunkenness, I only succeed in hitting him once. He sets me down slowly right outside the bathroom door and looks at me. “I’m waiting until you get done. If you take too long, I’m coming in after you. You are in no shape to take care of yourself.” “Whatever,” I mutter as I push the door open and stumble inside. Slowly, I make my way to the first stall and have just enough time to sit on the toilet before my bladder empties itself. My body is relieved to finally be empty but I’m even angrier than before that Blaine is here. Maybe he saved
me, so what? I don’t want him to. I fumble in my pocket for my phone, but I’m clumsy. It slips right through my hands crashing to the ground. Shit. I reach for it as I stand and bring it as close to my face as I can. The screen blends together in a blur and all I want to do is text Cory and Megan. I don’t want Blaine here to save me anymore. “Sybil, I’m about to come in there.” “Leave me alone!” I scream. I manage to open my messages and find Cory’s name. Me: Can youu comr get mee. Cory: Sybil, where are you? Me: barr The door swings open and Blaine comes rushing in like he’s on a damn white horse. I roll my eyes as he approaches me and grabs me by the arm. “I told you I was coming to get you. I’m bringing you home, tell me where you live.” “No,” I hiss. “Cory is coming to get me.” “You called Cory?” “Yes, now let go of me. He’ll make sure I get home, you can leave.” “I’m not leaving you. What, so you can bust your ass? What are you doing here anyway?” “That’s none of your damn business.” It seems like an eternity while we bicker back and forth. I’m relieved when I hear Megan behind me. “Sybil! Oh my god, I’m so glad you texted, are you ok?” “I think I’m going to be sick,” that’s all I can get out before I clasp my hand to my mouth. She turns back to Cory and points to the bathroom after she shoots him a look. I can’t read her expression but she doesn’t seem too happy. The minute I step inside, I run and dive beside the toilet with just enough time to empty my stomach over and over again. *** Blaine After the afternoon I had running into Dante, all I wanted to do was come have a drink. I never got to even order a beer when I spotted Sybil trying to walk. Trying is an understatement, she was failing miserably. Just when I thought things were seeming to get somewhere positive with her, she took about ten steps back. I was a bit offended that she called Cory to come save her. I’m more than capable of getting her home, I wouldn’t even try anything on her. I hope that’s not what she was thinking but with how drunk she is, I wouldn’t be surprised what she was thinking. I hear Cory and Megan before I see them. Megan is bitching to him about how he’s constantly running to save Sybil and although she loves her, it’s a little much. He tells her she’s overreacting and brushes it off like nothing. There’s silence and then Megan walks up to her and the first thing Sybil says is that she’s about to be sick. Megan walks her to the bathroom leaving me alone with Cory. Cory glares at me looking me up and down. I should feel uncomfortable but I don’t. I didn’t do anything wrong. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asks. “If I hadn’t been here she would have hurt herself or worse, hurt someone else when she tried to drive herself home.” “She wouldn’t have done that!” he yells. People begin staring but he doesn’t stop. “Stay the fuck away from her and I mean it. If I see you around her again, I’ll make you wish you were never born.” “Are you threatening me, because I’m sure I saved her ass tonight.” He thrusts his finger in my face, his skin turns crimson, “It’s not a threat, and it’s a damn promise. She doesn’t need you, she has me!” This is seriously fucked up. He wants her and basically just admitted it. He wants his best friends girl despite he has a smoking blonde for a girlfriend. He just became my biggest obstacle. I try not to laugh in his face but a chuckle comes out. “What are you, her knight in shining armor? That must be kinda twisted, huh? Does your girlfriend share you with her?” His fist connects with my jaw and the metal taste of blood fills my mouth. “Fuck you Blaine. Stay the hell away from her, I mean it. You know nothing about her or what she needs.” I can’t help but grin, he has no idea what he’s even talking about. “I know more about her than you think.” Before he can react, I shove past him hitting his shoulder. I step outside and before I can walk off, he grabs my shoulder and shoves my back against the wall. I grunt trying to push him off but I have to give him credit, he’s strong as hell.
“What the fuck do you mean?” He yells. “Fuck you, get off me.” I fight against him. “You’re a fucking joke, don’t let me see you near her. I had a bad feeling about you the first time I met you.” He drops his hands and the last thing he sees before hitting the ground is Dante standing beside me. Cory’s body falls limply to the ground. He’s going to hurt when he gets up in a minute. He’s slowly trying to get up and Dante is ready to strike again but I put my arm against his chest and shake my head no. “What the fuck?” I hiss at Dante. “Your pussy ass was in trouble, let me guess something to do with the girl? You should be thanking me right now.” He smirks. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before he really gets up.” Dante shrugs his shoulders and I’m praying he doesn’t tell Landon about this scuffle. “Look, thanks man. I’m actually glad you were here. I’ll call Landon in the morning.” “He already knows. Who do you think gave me the ok to knock his ass out?” I’m digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole because of Sybil. I knew not to do this shit but I did it anyway and for some reason, I still don’t regret one bit and I sure as hell am not scared of Cory.
Chapter 13 Sybil Megan stands behind me rubbing circles on my back as I continue to dry heave. Damn Jack Daniels. I’m beginning to really think this wasn’t the smartest idea. I think I would have been better off just crying under my covers. When I finally feel that I can move without dry heaving, Megan helps me stand. I walk over to the sink and splash my face with cool water and rinse the vomit taste out of my mouth the best I can. “I’m sorry Meg.” I whisper. “For what? You did the responsible thing by getting ahold of us. Why are you here anyway, if you don’t mind me asking?” I sigh as I look into her eyes. “I’m tired of pretending everything is ok. I’m tired of acting like I’m not affected by missing Caleb. I just wanted to try to get him out of my system. But I can’t.” I say softly. “I’ll never get over it will I?” She looks at me tenderly and pulls me in for a hug. “ Syb, you should never feel like you have to get over it. Can I tell you something? Cory still cries over losing Caleb. It’s only been five months, but you two loved him so much and I know this isn’t easy at all. You could have called us though instead of doing this. We would have come over in a heartbeat. You’re allowed to grieve, it’s ok to be sad. You don’t have to live pretending life is peachy.” “I love you guys so much.” “We love you too. We’re family, forever. Now, let’s go out there and see Cory. Did you call Blaine to meet you here?” The color in my face drains as I tell her, “No, I didn’t know he’d be here. I didn’t want him to be. It’s not right Meg. I feel attracted to him but I can’t.” “One day at a time, Syb. I know you aren’t rushing anything, it’s ok. You aren’t doing anything wrong.” She links her arm in mine and we walk out of the restroom together. She looks around the bar, but neither of us see Cory or Blaine. I shrug it off pretending not to care that Blaine isn’t standing around waiting for me. I did tell him to leave me alone though, so maybe he took the hint. Megan asks the bartender for a bottle of water and closes my tab out. I don’t even want to see how much those shots cost me. The bottle of water is gone within seconds and my parched throat is thankful. Megan looks up and gasps, my eyes meet hers before spotting Cory with a bloodied lip. He looks pissed and I’m a little scared to ask what happened because part of me knows. “What the hell happened, Cor?” Megan asks with wide eyes. He doesn’t answer her, but turns to face me. His eyes are wide and his face is crimson. “I don’t want him near you, Sybil. There’s something fucked up about him and if he comes near you, I’ll fucking kill him.” “What are you talking about Cory? What happened?” I ask. “He’s a sorry ass excuse for a man. You think Caleb would want you around him? Start thinking clearly Sybil, you’re better than that!” “Don’t start this shit with me Cory. I didn’t ask him to be here tonight and I don’t know what the hell happened while I was puking my guts up in the bathroom, but don’t take this out on me. And don’t you dare throw Caleb in my face like that!” “None of this would have happened if you didn’t come out and decide to drown your liver in the middle of the week. This isn’t like you, I know you Sybil!” He says with his finger in my face. Megan looks shocked by what he’s telling me. He’s being more than protective, it’s almost like he’s obsessed with making sure I’m safe and I’m not sure she is ok with it. She somehow changes her expression before saying, “Cor, take it easy on her. Have you ever thought that she’s tired of living like she’s ok? She’s hurting as bad as you are. She misses Caleb and doesn’t know how to deal with it and she doesn’t want to burden us. Look, can we get out of this bar and go talk somewhere else?” “I loved him, Cory,” I speak up. “I love him still more than anything and I miss him. I’m so sorry I fucked up once and came out trying to make myself forget, but I can’t fucking forget. I’ll never fucking forget what I saw that day, just like you can’t. Maybe I shouldn’t have called you.” “Don’t say that shit, Sybil. You call me any time, I don’t care when it is. I’m not mad at you, I’m sorry I’m taking this out on you. I’m serious about Blaine though, I don’t want to see him near you and he knows to stay away.” I gasp as I look at his face again, “He did this to you?” He avoids the question but continues to glare at me. “I’m seriously mad at you for driving out here. Come on, you’re staying with me tonight. We’ll get the truck in the morning.” I numbly follow Cory as he walks off. Anger is still radiating off him and I know I should stay quiet but I can’t stop
myself. “You can’t stop me from seeing anyone, Cory. I know you mean well but you can’t. I work with Blaine and for some reason I’m not sure of, I like him.” Cory stops in his tracks and turns to stare at me. “I’m telling you Sybil, I don’t like him and I don’t want you getting hurt. How can you move on so fast from what you and Caleb had?” His tone is hurt and he turns away from me. His hand brushes by his eye and I’m sure he just wiped a tear away. “You think I’m moving on just because I find someone attractive? You obviously don’t know me at all. You didn’t listen to Megan at all did you? I’m not ready to move on. I realized that today when Blaine asked me to eat dinner with him. I don’t want to move on, all I said was I like him, so quit persecuting me.” “Guys, please stop arguing. Let’s just get home. Sybil, you need to rest and Cory, you need to settle down.” Megan says breaking the tension. We continue to walk in silence until we reach the truck. Once I’m inside the dark backseat, I lie down and let the silent tears roll down my cheeks. *** Blaine Dante and I left the bar at the same time. I made sure he didn’t stick around for Cory to get back up. That was bound to end bloody and nastier than it already was. I’m pissed off that Cory tried to step in and act all chivalrous with Sybil. I understand he was Caleb’s best friend, but I don’t care. I don’t care that he forbid me to see he, he can’t do that. If he values his life and safety, then he will stay away from me and my business. I drive home a little faster than I should slamming the door shut when I walk into my apartment. Tonight didn’t go like it should have at all. All I wanted was to have a drink and relax but instead, I almost put everything in jeopardy. What the hell was I thinking telling Cory that I knew more about her than he thought? Tonight just made things way more complicated than they need to be and with Landon knowing, I’m not looking forward to his phone call. *** My jaw hurts a little this morning, I guess I didn’t realize just how hard Cory hit me. I’m moving slower than normal which is fine since I have a few hours to kill before I head to the bookstore. I’m wondering what it’s going to be like to see Sybil today. Will she avoid me? Or will she talk to me like nothing happened? I wonder if she even remembers what happened. My phone rings and I dread answering because I know who it is. “Hello?” “You almost blew it Blaine. I’m glad Dante is there to keep you on your toes.” He says coolly. “That wasn’t supposed to happen last night. She wasn’t even supposed to be there.” “I don’t care where she’s supposed to be, you had another chance to get the job done and you fucked it up again. Do I need to remind you, time is ticking?” “No, you don’t.” “Good.” End of call. The urge to throw the phone takes me over but instead I decide to take a shower before I head out. I close my eyes as the warm water hits my body. Thoughts of Sybil invade my mind and I feel bad thinking about her, but in a way I don’t. She’s fucking sexy as hell and I need her to talk to me again. I can’t let last night ruin things, especially after I figured out how Cory really feels about her. I reach down and grab my cock and slowly begin stroking it. As her face flashes in my memory, I begin to pump my hand faster letting the release build and when I come, my body shudders as I regain my breath. Fuck, what am I doing? I step out the shower, my hair is still wet but that’s the beauty of being male. It’ll dry in about five minutes. I sit around staring at the walls until I’ve had enough then head towards campus. Just like yesterday, Sybil is standing talking to Megan. She doesn’t look too bad considering how I saw her last night. I want to walk up to her and see if she’s speaking to me, but instead I find a bench and sit down. With my head in my hands, I sit there trying to figure out the best approach. I shouldn’t even be worried about this. The only thing that I should be thinking about is getting my job done and then leaving. She probably wouldn’t even miss me if I were gone and I need to just keep that in mind. I glance at my phone and decide I should walk to the bookstore. Maybe I can pick up a few extra hours to kill time. I clock in and immediately put myself to work dusting bookshelves and straightening things up. A redhead walks over, flirting shamelessly with me but I barely respond to anything she says or does. I’ve seen her in here before. When she stands behind me though with her breasts against my back, I can’t help but get hard. I turn to face her, my mouth inches from hers. “I just had to see you again.” she says. “What are you trying to do to me?” I ask.
“Whatever you’ll let me do.” She responds without hesitating. Damn, she’s beautiful, but I don’t care about that. Her hand reaches down cupping my balls and my cock betrays me as it comes to life. “Damn girl,” I hiss trying to control myself. I’m standing in the aisle of a damn bookshelf and she’s practically throwing herself at me. Her hand moves up to the waist of my jeans and she slowly slides her hand down. As she grabs my cock, I groan looking for somewhere we can go. I want to ignore this but I can’t, she has me turned on. Maybe this can get my mind off things for a bit. I look back towards the storage room that no one ever goes in and I grab her hand pulling her behind me. The door shuts behind us and she savagely undoes my jeans. In one swift tug, they are on the ground and she takes my cock in her mouth. I groan as she takes it deeper, then swirls her tongue over the tip. Fuck, this feels good, too damn good. I grab her hair guiding her as she sucks harder, bringing me closer to my breaking point. “Do you swallow?” I ask as she goes deeper. She moans yes and the vibration makes my cock throb harder. For a moment, I imagine Sybil’s mouth around me but we wouldn’t be in a damn storage building. Imagining Sybil for the second time today, unleashes something inside me and I pull the redheads hair harder as I begin to come. She moans licking her lips as she stands smiling wickedly. “Damn girl, that was amazing.” I’m not lying, it was. I feel like an ass for having done this but she threw herself at me. It’s not like anything is ever going to happen between Sybil and I anyway, she made that clear last night. I remember it all. I button my jeans back and walk out leaving her there to walk out alone. I head straight for the bathroom to get away so that maybe when I come out, she will be gone. When I walk out I see Sybil standing by her usual t-shirt stand. She doesn’t look up but I watch her as she starts straightening every single shirt. I’m still staring at her when the redhead appears from nowhere. She hands me a piece of paper before walking off. “Call me, maybe we could have some more fun.” Sybil looks up, her eyes meet mine for a second and she looks like she may be sick. Must be the effects of the alcohol from last night, because according to her, she needs nothing from me. But something in her eyes show hurt and when I realize that, guilt washes over me and I realize, that I fucked up even more.
Chapter 14 Sybil I haven’t seen Blaine yet today and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I wonder if it has anything to do with Cory threatening him. Cory wouldn’t elaborate on it anymore last night. I know he was mad at me, even I am mad at me. I rode with Megan to school today and she said she will take me to get my truck later. I walk into the bookstore and I still haven’t seen Blaine. He should be here by now, unless he quit so he doesn’t have to see me. I shrug it off and begin working on my shirts and I hear a girl’s voice. I look over to see her hand Blaine a paper and tell him they could have fun together. Our eyes meet and I can’t read his, but he has to see the hurt behind mine. He just has to. I know last night was fucked up, but I’m not stupid. I realize he took this girl somewhere in this bookstore and did god knows what with her. I don’t even want to think about it. Just the thought makes me want to throw up. I turn my head away and try to think of anything to get my mind off him. Maybe Cory is right about him. I manage to take all my aggression out on the shirts and they look immaculate, not a single one is out of place. Blaine hasn’t tried to come up and talk to me and although I know something happened between him and the girl, I can’t decide how I feel about not having him talk to me. I don’t care if he calls me doll face or not. Part of me wants to leave the bookstore now since my work is done, but Megan is still in class. I glance at the clock and see I only have five minutes left so I clock out and go sit on a bench outside. I never realized just how accustomed I’d become to talking to him until he didn’t speak to me at all. The silence outside is actually nice, since not too many people are out. Most of the students are still in class. I hear footsteps but I don’t look up, I stare at the ground. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” I look up to see Blaine standing in front of me. “You’re talking to me?” “Yeah, I’m talking to you. Who else would I be talking to you?” I roll my eyes and look away as he sits beside me. “Maybe your redhead friend.” “She’s not my friend.” “What is she, your fuck buddy?” “That’s not your business.” He says folding his arms over his chest. “I thought you weren’t allowed to talk to me anymore.” “I don’t do what I’m told.” He smiles. I hate his smile because I lose all inhibitions when he smiles at me. “What are you still doing here?” “Well, my truck is still at the bar. You know, you remember last night?” “I do, do you?” he asks. “Yes, I do. Look, I’m sorry for being so harsh. I’m just going through a bit of a tough time.” I say looking into his eyes. “Don’t sweat it, doll face. How are you getting your truck back?” “Megan is supposed to take me but she’s still in class.” “I could take you if you wanted. Just don’t tell Cory, I don’t want my ass kicked.” “I’m sorry about him. He’s just protective. I’ll text Megan, if you are sure you don’t mind.” He looks at me smiling, “I don’t mind at all. I want to make last night up to you.” I text Megan and she replies immediately warning me if Cory finds out, he’ll be pissed. I reply quickly begging her not to tell him and I look up at Blaine and smile. “Let’s go.” He leads me to his truck, a silver Ford F-150. It’s immaculately clean on the outside and when he opens the door for me, I see it’s just as clean on the inside. It feels awkward sitting in the truck next to him but I shove that thought to the side. He drives to the bar and I let out a sigh of relief when I see the truck sitting there untouched. I’d have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t called Cory and drove home drunk. I could have killed someone or worse, myself. Blaine parks beside the truck and I look at him, “Thank you.” “You’re welcome, doll face.” I unlock the truck and stick the key in the ignition. The engine won’t start. I try it again and nothing happens. Blaine jumps out of his truck and runs up beside me. “It won’t start? Did you leave the lights on when you got here last night?” “No, they shut off automatically. I don’t know what’s going on.” He has me try to start it again and then instructs me to pop the hood. “Do you have any jumper cables?”
I nod my head yes as I open the back door and pull them from under the seat. He hooks them up to both trucks and jump starts my truck. It starts immediately. “Looks like your battery was dead, you’re good now. Just be careful.” “You’re a lifesaver Blaine, thank you.” I tell him as I climb back into my truck. “Hey, um, do you want to maybe grab a pizza or something later? You know as maybe a thank you for jumping my truck for me?” He looks at me like I just spoke a different language. I’m trying to be nice and I fully expect him to blow me off but he smiles and says, “Tell me where and I’ll be there.” What Cory doesn’t know what hurt him. I’m a grown woman and it’s just pizza with a friend. “Meet me at that pizza place up the road this evening.” “It’s a date.” He smiles. “Not quite.” I retort shutting my truck door smiling. *** Blaine Waves of guilt wash over me as I step back into my truck. I made a piss poor decision and was almost certain I’d blown things with Sybil when she saw the girl hand me her phone number. What she doesn’t know is that I threw the phone number away when she wasn’t looking. I’m a guy, I think with my dick. It’s just what I do. I thought getting blown in the storage room would have cleared my mind but instead, it fucked it up worse. I can’t lie, I was shocked to hear her ask me if I wanted to grab pizza with her. I wanted to tell her I’d much rather be somewhere more private, away from people but she would never understand my reasoning why. If Dante saw us and this got back to Landon, he’d definitely know I wasn’t doing my job. I drive back to my apartment and dive onto the couch as soon as I walk in. I lie there thinking about getting to spend actual time with her and I can’t help but smile. I’m finally getting somewhere with her. The thought to bring my phone crosses my mind and I know if Landon calls I’ll be in deep shit, but I quickly decide to leave it here. I don’t want anything to ruin this night. *** Sybil texted me around 5:30pm to confirm the place. I replied instantly, a little too fast probably. I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for her text all afternoon. I’m anxious, swarms of butterflies invade my stomach for what seems like the first time. I’ve broken every rule when it comes to her, but I don’t care at all. She’s all I think about. From the minute I wake up, until the second my eyelids close. I toss my phone onto my bed with a thud and walk out the door. Fuck consequences tonight. I break almost every speed limit around trying to get to her. As I park my truck, I look towards the front door and I see her. My heart stops in my chest and I lose every ounce of breath I have. She looks absolutely beautiful. She’s wearing that pair of blue jeans I love and a pink blouse, that her breasts look like they could pop out of at any minute. She’s pretending not to be looking around but that’s obviously what she’s doing. When her eyes meet mine, her cheeks blush and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She is perfection. “You look beautiful doll face.” I lean in kissing her behind her ear. I can feel her body tremble under my touch. “You never quit, do you?” She asks still blushing profusely. “Quit what? Telling the truth?” I smile reaching for her hand. She looks hesitant at first but then slowly places her hand in mine. We walk inside together and I can’t help but think this is something I could get used to. If only we weren’t in Baton Rouge and under the watchful eye of Landon and Dante. She looks completely in her element , laughing and talking with me. Everything I’ve wanted since the minute I met her. I order a bucket of beer for us and a pepperoni pizza. She argues she wants to pay, but I stand my ground and insist she pay for nothing. “This was such a good idea.” She says as she presses the bottle to her lips. “It was a good idea for you to finally agree to dinner with me.” “No, I meant the pizza and beer. This is delicious.” “I think you could be delicious.” I say testing the waters. I’m waiting for her to get angry and storm off but she just blushes and finishes off her beer before opening another. “So what are you going to school for?” she asks. She just completely caught me off guard and I fumble around for the most believable thing I can. “Right now I’m just general studies. Haven’t quite found my calling yet. What about you?” “I’m an education major. I want to teach Kindergarten.”
“That’s pretty amazing. Is that something you’ve always wanted to do?” “Yep. I love kids. I always wanted at least two of my own, but I have no idea why I just told you that.” She says quickly. “Why? I’m just getting to know you, that doesn’t matter to me.” She almost looks relieved by my response. We continue to eat, devouring the pizza and beer until nothing is left. I pay the bill and we walk hand in hand outside. I’m not ready for this evening to end but we are in two separate vehicles so I suppose it has to end sometime. “I had a great time.” I tell her. “Me too. I’m glad we did this.” She smiles. Her eyes look hopeful like she really means it and I smile back. Like a gentleman, I lead her to her truck. We never made plans for anything else tonight and I don’t want to push my luck with her. I wish we were in a more private area because I really want to kiss her but there are people all around and I don’t want to embarrass her. She unlocks her truck and I open the door for her. She makes the first move leaning forward just an inch to where our lips are almost touching. I’m trying not to lose all my self-control here. She inches closer, our lips now touching lightly and softly kisses me. I feel like I’ve just been kissed by an angel. Right as I begin to kiss her back, I’m jerked away nearly causing me to lose my balance. “I fucking told you to stay away from her!” Cory yells. “Stop it Cory, this was my idea. This is my life, stay out of it.” She yells back. “I can’t do that and you know it. Get in Caleb’s truck and leave now.” He says before turning to face me. I never realized this was Caleb’s truck. Dante and Landon don’t need to learn that bit of information. “It’s my fucking truck Cory! I hate you.” She says with tear filled eyes. Dammit, I hate to see her upset because of an asshole remark he made. He never turns back to face her, he continues to glare at me as he replies, “I don’t care right now Sybil, I told you to leave. I don’t want you to see this.” He balls up his fist and I’m prepared to defend myself. I won’t be taken by surprise like last time. “I asked him to meet me, Cory. You can’t protect me forever.” “I made a fucking promise Sybil and I told you he was bad news. I told him what would happen if he saw you again.” Just as he’s getting ready to throw the punch, Sybil steps in the way. In a fit of anger meant for me, he pushes her to the ground. She lands hard, sliding across the concrete and within seconds, blood is soaking through her jeans. She’s trying hard as hell not to cry and my first instinct is to run to her. Cory tries to shove me out of the way, he’s looking distraught. Clearly he didn’t realize just what he’d done. “Don’t fucking touch me Cory, don’t you fucking come near me.” She cries. He turns and points at me, his face boiling red. “This is all your fault.” He turns back to Sybil and softens his voice. “I’m so sorry, let me get you home ok? I’m so fucking sorry.” She’s sobbing harder now and refusing to look at him. “Just leave. I don’t want to look at you.” He drops his head in defeat before walking off, but not before glaring at me again. “I haven’t forgotten about you. Count your blessings.” As he walks off, I run to Sybil and kneel beside her. She leans into me and whispers, “Take me home please.” I look her in her eyes to make sure she’s serious. “Do you want to call Megan?” “No.” she whispers. “I don’t want to leave my truck. Will you drive it?” I want to say no because it’s Caleb’s truck, but I nod my head yes before picking her up and placing her inside the cab.
Chapter 15 Sybil My leg hurts like hell and I’m scared my jeans are ruined. Stupid Cory had to come along and ruin my perfect evening. I should have known better than to go somewhere so open but honestly, I thought it would be ok. Blaine starts the truck before turning to face me, “Are you ok?” “I think so. I’m so sorry, this was my fault.” “Look at me Sybil.” He says roughly. “This was not your fault. He is in the wrong. He pushed you because he couldn’t control his anger.” I turn away from him and stare out the window as I quietly give him directions to my apartment. I feel like I’m betraying Caleb by having Blaine drive his truck, but I’m hurting so badly right now. Betrayal seems to be taking over me right now because he’s also driving me to my apartment, and pictures of Caleb are everywhere. It’s not like it’s a secret anymore, Cory blew that out of the water. He parks the truck in my usual spot and runs to the passenger side to let me out. He refuses to let me walk, which I think is kinda sweet. He carries me to the door and unlocks it with ease. I hold my breath as he carries me inside. No one has done this but Caleb and it feels good but awkward at the same time. If he sees the pictures of Caleb and I, he never says anything. Instead, he asks to point him in the direction of my bedroom so I can get something else to wear. He sets me on the bed as I point towards the dresser drawer that contains my shorts. He hands me a pair before scooping me back up and bringing me to the bathroom. My head is resting on his shoulder and it feels a little too comfortable to me. I’m almost relieved when he sets me down on the sink. “I’ll step outside the door while you change. I’ll help you clean your leg up when you’re done.” He says. I nod my head in agreement as he shuts the door behind him. Slowly, I unbutton my jeans and remove them. I let them hit the ground as I observe my leg. It’s a pretty nasty scrape and hurts like hell. I slide on the shorts and open the door. He looks down at my leg sympathetically and walks in behind me. He’s so close, I feel like I can hear his heart beating. His breath sends tingles down my spine and I can’t stop the feelings that overwhelm me. “Where do you keep the peroxide?” he asks. “In the cabinet right there,” I point. He opens the cabinet, pulling out the peroxide and a cotton ball. He sees the worried look on my face and smiles. “It’s going to be ok, I won’t hurt you.” “It’s going to burn.” I whine. “Here,” he says grabbing a washrag. “Bite on this.” He bends down slowly cleaning off the scrape. It doesn’t burn like I thought it would, thankfully. When he finishes, he rubs my leg before placing a band aid on it. “That wasn’t bad was it?” “No, thank you, really.” “No problem doll face. Now, let’s get you out of this bathroom.” He carries me again but this time setting me on the couch. “Can I get you anything?” “No, thanks.” I answer as I watch him sit right beside me. He’s so close our legs are touching and electricity shoots through my veins. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts, not in this apartment, but I can’t help it. His hand moves slowly to rest on my leg and my body responds instantly. He turns the TV on but neither of us look at it, we look at each other. I can see the desire in his eyes, hell I know it’s burning in mine. Where did this come from? He slowly leans in resting his forehead against mine. “I want to finish what we started earlier.” And with that, our lips crash together. He kisses me with such need and want that I’m completely breathless. His tongue finds mine and they tangle relentlessly as he pulls me closer. My entire body is on fire and it feels like he is the only one who can put the fire out. I shouldn’t want him, but I do. I want him badly. Slowly, I lie back on the couch and he hovers over me. His lips never leave mine. He runs his hand under my shirt until it cups my breast. I moan as I arch my back begging him for more. I reach around him pulling him closer, I need to feel him closer to me. He breaks the kiss leaving me more breathless as he removes my shirt. He licks his lips before pulling my breast into his mouth. Oh my god, this feels amazing and right now, I don’t want him to stop. He continues for a moment longer before crushing his lips to mine once more. His hand moves down to my stomach and then touches the waistband of my shorts. I feel my breath hitch and he looks at me with hooded eyes waiting for my answer. All I can give him is a half-smile and his hand dips below. It feels like an eternity since I’ve been touched by someone other than myself and it feels amazing. He rubs his thumb over my clit before sliding two
fingers inside me. I wince at first before my body welcomes them and I begin to lose myself as he slides them in and out. I’m so close and I’m almost ashamed to say that already but my body can’t wait any longer. He’s shattering my world. “Oh God, Caleb,” I say not realizing fully what I said until Blaine stops and looks at me. Immediately, I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe I just called him Caleb. I want to cry but I’m so in shock, nothing comes out. He sits up abruptly pulling away from me like I’m diseased. “Who did you call me?” he asks quietly. He’s not even angry, he sounds hurt. “I’m so sorry. Shit, I didn’t mean that.” I say trying to somehow make this better but I know I’ve ruined this night. “I need to go.” He says adjusting his erection before standing. I scramble off the couch trying to keep my dignity together. “No please, Blaine. Let me explain.” I wince at the pain in my leg as I stand in front of him. “You don’t need to explain anything Sybil. I’ll see you later, ok?” “Wait, what about your truck. Can I at least drive you to it?” He looks at me sadly before responding, “I’m going to walk.” With that, he slowly walks past me and out the front door. What the hell have I done? I want to cry, I want to scream, but instead I stalk to my room and pray to fall asleep fast. Maybe I can forget about this in the morning. *** Blaine This night feels like it was doomed from the beginning. I should have known when Cory showed his ass up. She actually asked me to take her back to her apartment and I did because I’m a gentleman and I wanted more time with her. I saw the pictures of Caleb Thomas in there but I ignored it. He’s gone, I’m not threatened by him. Maybe by what they shared but not by him. I had to kiss her, I had to feel her. I want her so badly. But she fucking called me Caleb and that killed everything. I know she didn’t mean to. The mortified look on her face told me that, but I couldn’t stick around. I need to get some fresh air and think. It killed me to see her face as I turned to walk out her door. It’s a good few minute walk to my truck but I don’t care. So I walk slow thinking about everything. I think about how her body responded to my touch. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her and in the blink of an eye, it changed. I wanted to hear her say my name. I want to hear her moan my name as I bring her body to places it’s never been before. The walk seems to last an eternity and I’m relieved to see my truck. I climb in and slowly begin to drive back to my apartment. The thought to go back to her crosses my mind. She wanted to explain. Would she have told me about Caleb? What the hell would I have said? It’s not like I could have said that I know exactly who Caleb was. I couldn’t have said I know all of his dirty secrets and you have to handle his unfinished business. Dammit. I walk up to my apartment and find the door open. I know I shut it when I left. I kick the door open slowly and step inside. I make myself completely aware of my surroundings looking to see if anything is out of place. Everything seems to be where I left it so I move on to the next room. Everything is clear, what the hell? I walk to the fridge grabbing a beer. I drink the whole thing in almost one sip. I feel the worst case of blue balls coming and it hurts like hell. I just want to go lie down in bed and imagine that this night didn’t end as fucked up as it did. How could everything go from almost perfect to ending like it did? “Well, nice to see you finally made it home lover boy.” I turn to see Dante standing in my kitchen. Motherfucker. “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” “What? You aren’t going to offer me a beer?” “What the hell do you think? Get out, I’m not in the mood.” I say trying to walk past him. He grabs me by the neck shoving me against the wall. My back spasms as he holds me there not loosening his grip. “Landon called and when you didn’t answer he sent me to look for you. You know what happens when you don’t answer Landon.” “Fuck you and Landon. I’m a grown fucking man. I left my cellphone here.” “Wrong answer.” He says as he delivers a punch to my jaw. Blood fills my mouth and I spit it in his face. His face boils with anger as he delivers another punch and then another. He waits for me to cough before saying, “Landon changed his mind by the way. You only have one more week or its lights out, motherfucker. He’s done playing your games. If you don’t have his money or her by next week, I’ll take care of her which is probably what should have happened all along. And when I say take care of her, I won’t be charming the panties off her, she won’t have a single breath left to breathe.” He loosens his grip and lets me fall to the floor with a thud. He walks out leaving me struggling to breath. When I finally am able to stand, I grab the chair from the pub table and throw it across the room. “Dammit!!”
I walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I can’t go to the bookstore looking like this tomorrow, which means a day lost. I need to get her to forgive me for walking out. I need to convince her to leave the city with me, it’s the only way I know to protect her without people getting hurt. How the fuck am I supposed to do that when she has just come around to talking to me? I can’t tell her the truth can I? This whole situation just turned more fucked up that it already was and I’m stuck in the middle. No matter what I do, someone has to pay. I never could explain why I felt I needed to save her, but I do. I have less than one week to devise a plan and get her the hell out of this place. To me, it’s the only way I can save her. I can’t let Dante get his hands on her.
Chapter 16 Sybil I can’t take all this guilt away, no matter how hard I try. I can’t sit here thinking about what I did, or mainly what I said. I’m such a freaking idiot! I could sit here and mope and cry but I don’t want to. Pity party for one isn’t what I want to be having. Suddenly it makes sense, there is only one place I want to be. I grab my keys and run to the truck. I try to block out the memories of Blaine driving earlier. I know I asked him to drive and maybe that was a bad decision on my part. Thoughts fill my head that I don’t really want there. If I hadn’t called him Caleb would we have gone all the way? Would I have begged him to fuck me thirty ways to Sunday? I know how I felt when he touched me and it felt good. I felt everything a person is supposed to feel and now, I feel empty. I don’t know what to think now. I continue to drive not stopping until I reach the cemetery. I jump out of the truck and run to where Caleb lies. I stop in my tracks when I see Cory standing there crying. I try to stand still, hoping he didn’t hear me but he turns and looks at me with tear stained cheeks. After our encounter earlier, I wasn’t expecting to see him anywhere, let alone here. The urge to turn and run back to the truck crosses my mind. I’m not ready to talk about any of this and I sure as hell don’t want to argue in front of Caleb’s grave. He continues to look at me, neither of us saying a word. This was a bad idea, I’m certain of that. I turn on my heel prepared to walk away when he breaks the silence. “Sybil,” he whispers. I turn back to face him and he continues, “Please don’t leave. I’m so damn sorry. I made Caleb a promise and I feel like I let him down.” I can’t help it, I take off running towards him and hold him tight. “You didn’t. You did just what you promised him.” He shakes his head no and lays his head on my shoulder. I haven’t seen Cory like this since the day we saw Caleb’s body. I look around to see if Megan is near but there are no traces of her. “Does Megan know you’re here?” I ask quietly. “Yeah, I told her I needed to clear my head. I never meant to push you, Sybil. I didn’t see you standing there. Megan’s pissed at me but that’s the least of my worries right now.” “Quit blaming yourself for everything Cory. You can’t protect me all the time. You can’t be everywhere. I’m strong, you know that. I was just trying to get you to calm down and listen to me.” He picks his head up and breaks away from me. He looks at me before wiping his eyes. “Did I ever tell you what Caleb told me the day he met you?” I look at him shaking my head no. He lets a small laugh out before continuing, “He told me he met the most beautiful woman and I remember thinking he was just being horny and stupid, but then I met you. God, you two made me sick sometimes but I knew what you two had was real. Before I came out here, Megan told me to quit being so hard on you. If you like this guy, I promise to stand behind you but if he hurts you, I’d never forgive myself. Caleb would want you happy and I want you happy. He fucking loved you so much Sybil.” I cling to him again crying. I don’t know what to say because I’m sure Blaine hates me now. “I’m scared to be happy again, Cor. I’m scared of so much. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined having to live without Caleb. I could have never done it without you and Megan. It’s not fair, he was supposed to be my happily ever after.” “Maybe, you have another happily ever after out there. I promise not to stand in your way. I don’t want you to think you can’t come to me for anything.” “I never wanted life without Caleb.” “I know, but life doesn’t care what we want. It’s fucked up.” We stand there for what seems like an eternity talking and making our peace. Being out here definitely keeps my mind clear and I desperately needed that. “Let’s get out of here, Cor. I’m going to head back home.” “You ok with being alone tonight? You can come to the apartment if you want. We can order pizza and hang out.” I smile at his offer and reply, “I’ll follow you there.” *** “I’m glad to see you two are talking again. That was the longest few hours ever.” Megan smiles pulling me in for a hug. She looks down at the band aid on my leg and frowns. “How bad is it?” “Just a scrape. It’s all cleaned up though, I’m ok.” I almost let it slip that Blaine cleaned it up. That would’ve opened a can of worms that I’m not ready to deal with myself, much less tell Megan about right now. “Good, I love him but I could have kicked his ass when he told me what happened.”
“Ok, can we drop it please,” Cory pleads. “I’ve learned my lesson and I told Sybil I’m going to let her be.” “Good. The pizza is on its way so I hope ya’ll are hungry.” “I guess I am.” I say. Actually, I don’t have much of an appetite and I’ve already eaten pizza today but I keep that to myself too. The doorbell rings moments later and Cory gets up to answer the door. He hands the pizza guy money and Megan turns to face me. “So, have you talked to Blaine since this afternoon?” Oh man, if she only knew. I try to keep from blushing but she sees right through me. She smiles, but slowly that smile falters. “Something happened didn’t it? Spill it sister and fast before Cory comes back in.” I think about my options and running isn’t one of them, because Cory is blocking the door as he gets ready to grab the pizza. I can strangle her, that’s another option, but I’m not too keen on spending time in jail. I guess she will win and I’ll tell her. “Well, um he brought me home. We kissed and it may have gone a little further but I called him Caleb.” “WHAT?!” I grab a pillow and shove it over her face to shut her up. She yanks it away and tries to pick her jaw up off the floor. “Shut up, you heard me. So, yay for me. I have Cory’s blessing but I’m pretty sure he hates me.” “Have you talked to him?” she genuinely asks. “No,” I shake my head. “He got up and said he had to go. I asked him to let me explain but he wouldn’t let me.” “Holy shit. You should text him later, do you know where he lives?” My jaw hits the ground. “I am not going to show up on his front door and no by the way, I don’t know where he lives.” “I’m just trying to help.” Cory comes walking in with the box of pizza and I could literally hug his neck for saving me from the conversation from hell. I look at my phone on the coffee table and think about Megan’s words. Is it ok to text him? If he doesn’t respond, I don’t know if I would be ok. Cory and Megan dive into the pizza and I grab a piece and slowly begin to nibble on it. I grab my phone and pretend to check my email, but I open a new message and type: Me: Will you please talk to me? I sit there nibbling on the same piece slowly, waiting for an answer that never comes. *** Blaine I read her text over and over again while nursing a beer. I want to get out of the apartment, but thanks to Dante, that isn’t going to happen. She wants me to talk to her, but I’m not sure what the hell I’m supposed to say. Maybe this is the sign I needed to see, the sign that points to the reason I’m here. I do want to get her out of here and make sure she’s safe but I need more time to process this. I don’t answer and she doesn’t text back. I wonder if she honestly cares or if she just feels bad. The beer bottle is still cold so I take it and hold it against my face. The coolness makes it not hurt so badly and I can only hope that tomorrow it doesn’t look bad. I don’t have time to waste. My phone rings and I get up to walk to my room to see who is calling. Part of me wonders if it’s Sybil, maybe she’s being persistent and figures I’ll answer. I look at the screen and the one name I dread pops up. I know I have to answer. I’ve already ignored several calls from leaving my phone here. “Hello?” I answer trying not to sound agitated. “Did the wake-up call work? I’m assuming it did unless you really have a death wish.” “I got the message Landon, I’m done fucking around.” I lie easily. “Good. I’d love to give you more time but all you’ve done is piss it away so one week or Dante handles it his way. I like you Blaine, so don’t make me regret this and for Christ’s sake get your shit together.” I love our chats, they always seem to piss me off more. Maybe I should quit wasting time and just answer her text. If she wanted to see me, she’d have to see me like this and I have no idea how the fuck to explain my face. It’s not like I can say Cory did it, because she knows better. I’m screwed no matter what I do. If I do my job, she finds out who I am and everything is ruined. If I can convince her to run away with me, we risk being found and then she’d really know who I am. I’m fucking exhausted trying to figure this out so I lie down on the bed and close my eyes almost praying I won’t wake up in the morning. *** I call Mrs. Horn first thing in the morning and give her some bullshit lie about feeling like I’m coming down with the
flu. She buys it and tells me I can come in tomorrow, if I feel better. I know I’m just prolonging the inevitable of seeing Sybil and time is constantly ticking. Surprisingly, my face isn’t bruised beyond belief but it is still sore. I lounge around and find myself constantly thinking about her. Does she miss me? Is she worried about me? She hasn’t texted me since yesterday so maybe she didn’t really give a shit. I run a thousand different dialogues through my head about how everything is supposed to go. Everything ends up with the scenario of her hating me and telling me to fuck off. Those scenarios also end up with Cory telling her I told you so and I don’t want her to have to hear those words from him. He already gives her enough shit. I can’t stand not being near her. I can’t stand not knowing whether or not she’s safe. Dante is lurking around campus which means she isn’t. I grab my keys and run to my truck. I’ll keep an eye on her from a distance. It’s the only way. I can’t stay cooped up in this apartment all day. I park far back enough to where I can see her truck but she’d never be able to pick me out in the parking lot. I check my phone. She should still be in class right now and then shortly, she’ll be heading to the bookstore. I want to be closer, but that would risk blowing my cover. I can only hope and pray to God that Dante stays the hell away from her.
Chapter 17 Sybil Blaine never messaged me back and I never let Megan know I tried. I just finished my night with them and then drove home. I stared at the couch where everything happened and then retreated to my room where I locked the door and hid under the covers. He has to see me today, he has no choice. Whether he talks to me or not, well that’s a different story. I survive the morning with multiple cups of coffee. I feel like a walking zombie but warm fuzzies invade my insides as I approach the bookstore. I look towards the bench he sometimes sits at and he’s nowhere to be seen. He must be already inside, hopefully alone and not with some girl like yesterday. I look around but still no sign of him. I clock in and walk around doing my normal duties. Mrs. Horn approaches me smiling and I give her a warm smile back. “I wanted to let you know Blaine won’t be here today.” I feel my smile start to drop but I try to keep it up so she doesn’t suspect anything. “He called and said he feels like he’s coming down with the flu, so I told him take the day to rest. If you don’t mind checking over his section, I’d really appreciate it.” “Sure, no problem. Thank you for letting me know.” She smiles and walks off leaving me in my own thoughts. Flu, my ass. I know better. He’s avoiding me and I can’t decide whether I’m pissed or hurt. I can’t decide whether he’s worth my time to call or text so I keep myself busy. Time goes by torturously slow and I hate it. The longer I have to think about it, the madder I get. I wish I knew where he lived now because I’d go bang on the door and when he answered, I’d punch him in the face. I should have known he was a douche bag. I should have listened to Cory but I didn’t and look where it’s gotten me. I knew this would end up awkward. Why did I have to let his charm get to me? I spend the rest of my time straightening books and helping a few students find scantrons and shirts in whatever size they are looking for. When it’s finally time to go, I’m ecstatic and practically run outside. I get a bad vibe, like someone is watching me and I turn to look but all I see are other students. I walk briskly trying to get to my truck and on my way home, I decide Blaine Williams will talk to me. I wait until I get home. I walk in and lock the door behind me. I reach for my phone looking to see if maybe he messaged me but nothing. Angrily, I begin to type my message: Me: Why did you avoid me today? I’m not stupid. Several minutes pass and my phone finally vibrates. I want to pretend not to be glad, but I lunge for the phone and open the message. Blaine: I’m not. I have the flu. What a liar! Now, I’m even more pissed. Me: You can fool Mrs. Horn, but you can’t fool me. I know this has something to do with last night. Blaine: Get over yourself, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Me: You’re a fucking asshole. He doesn’t text back right away and I assume he’s sitting there laughing. Why should he care what I think of him anyway? Right now, I have no idea why I give a shit but I do. The phone vibrates again and I’m scared to open it. I just called him an asshole, God only knows what he has to say. Blaine: Sybil, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run out but just put yourself in my shoes. Me: I wanted to explain but you left. Blaine: I’ll see you tomorrow ok? Me: You’ll talk to me? Blaine: Yeah. I don’t say anything else and neither does he. I don’t really feel any better about the situation. Ice cream sounds amazing right now and I happen to have a pint of rocky road sitting in the freezer. I grab the pint and a spoon and eat it trying to get my mind off the conversation. Should I have invited him over to talk? Would he even have showed up? He probably doesn’t want to look at this couch again, I know I don’t want to. I decide to take the plunge and I grab my phone again. Me: Do you want to come over and talk? Silence. I knew this was a bad idea. Why am I making myself seem so damn desperate? Just as I’m about to give up hope, my phone goes off. Blaine: I want to, I won’t lie but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Me: Oh.
Blaine: I won’t be able to keep my hands off you. Meeting in public will be better. His words have my body in a frenzy. I close my eyes and imagine what his touch felt like yesterday and I can feel my body ignite with need. Need for him. He’s not coming over to talk though so my body needs to calm itself down. I don’t answer him right away, I can’t. I don’t know what to say without sounding needy so I set my empty pint of ice cream on the coffee table and lie down on the couch that I swear I hate. I close my eyes and he’s right there on top of me, discovering every inch of my body. My eyes never reopen though exhaustion hits me and I fall asleep. *** Blaine Lies, oh how easily they flow from my lips. I hate lying, but here I am doing it like it’s going out of style. Lies may flow easily, but just as easily they are detected. Sybil knew good and well I was lying. She called me out on it. I can just imagine her standing in front of me pissed off. Dammit. She has no idea that I sat in my truck watching her leave, making sure she was safe. She doesn’t know that I’ll most likely pass by her apartment tonight more than once just to make sure danger isn’t lurking. I don’t like the fact that Dante knows where she lives. I don’t like any of this anymore. With time being cut shorter than expected, I feel like I’m playing with fire. Someone will get burnt and I’ll make sure it’s me before I let it be her. I spend half the night parked down the road from her apartment. I can see her light on and I want nothing more than to go knock on her door and cup her beautiful face in my hands as I kiss her and apologize for walking out on her. Part of me wants to come clean and tell her the danger she’s in, but that’s crazy talk. My eyes grow heavy but I refuse to sleep and if I do, I’ll sleep out here. Her face appears in the window, she looks around before closing the curtain and the light goes off. I want to be inside that apartment with her so damn bad. My phone goes off and I become flustered instantly at the thought of it being Landon or Dante, but my expression changes when Sybil’s name shows up. The fact that she’s thinking about me before bed makes my cock throb and I have a feeling I’ll be taking care of that problem here shortly. Sybil: You sure you still won’t have the “flu” tomorrow? Me: I won’t doll face. I’ll be waiting for you. Sybil: Yeah, ok. Goodnight. Me: Night doll face. I toss my phone onto the passenger seat and get as comfortable as I can. I can’t help but reach down my pants and grab ahold of my cock. As I begin to stroke it, I imagine I’m with her and this time, I make her mine. *** I finally went back to my apartment a little after five in the morning. I maybe got a whole thirty minutes of sleep but I will live. I stand in the shower letting the water run over me. The cool water keeps me alert and awake which is what I need if I’m to survive this day. Surprisingly there are no circles under my eyes. My face doesn’t look bad, so I pray she doesn’t notice anything. I slowly get dressed and then head out the door. I can’t wait to see her. I see her in her normal spot talking to Megan. Megan looks in my direction and locks eyes with me. She smiles and waves bye to Sybil, disappearing into the crowd. Sybil doesn’t turn around right away and I don’t blame her. Things were fucked up the other night and I just left her. I know the shit she’s been through, I’ve read the file. I’ve studied her for months before coming out here, but she doesn’t know that. I acted like an ass and I can’t forgive myself for time lost. I take in a deep breath, slowly moving my feet towards her. She slowly turns around and she looks like she wants to smile but isn’t sure it’s ok. I can tell she feels awkward and I curse myself for making her feel that way. This is all my fault and I need to fix it now. “Told you I’d be here today.” “I see that.” She says. She starts to walk and I catch up beside her. “You said you wanted to talk to me and you’re walking away?” I ask. “I don’t really care to discuss that right now with you, not here.” “Then where?” I ask. “I really don’t know Blaine.” She says stopping in her tracks. She really looks confused and hurt. This is nowhere near as easy as I half imagined it would be. I look around and then towards the bookstore. “Let’s skip today. Call Mrs. Horn and tell her you don’t feel well. We can go somewhere and talk.” She looks at me crazy and shakes her head. “I can’t do that. It’s wrong.” “Come on, live a little, Sybil.” I dare her. She glares at me before pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. She studies it long and hard before dialing the
number to the bookstore. She briefly explains to Mrs. Horn that she came to class but had to leave because she wasn’t feeling well. Horn tells her she thinks the flu is going around and buys the story. When she hangs up the phone, she glares at me again. “Are you happy? I just lied.” Smiling, I reach for her hand. She pulls her hand away and just watches me. “Where do you want to go?” I ask. “I don’t know, you’re the one who suggested I fake being sick.” “Ok, I completely understand your attitude but please stop. I’m here, what more do you want?” She looks back into my eyes and whispers, “I don’t know what I want.” “Walk with me.” I grab her hand against her will and walk her to my truck. She doesn’t protest but she also doesn’t speak. She silently climbs into the truck and I begin to drive away from campus.
Chapter 18 Sybil I thought it would be easy to see him today but it really wasn’t. The only thing that goes through my head is the pleasure I felt before I called him Caleb and the hurt I felt when he walked out of my apartment. I feel horribly guilty for lying to Mrs. Horn, I really hope this is worth it. I have no idea if I’m really going to even tell him about Caleb or not so all I can hope is that he doesn’t bring it up. I pull my phone out as he drives and text Megan. Me: I called in sick at the bookstore so don’t come looking for me. Megan: Um, why? Is everything ok? Me: Blaine wants to talk, so we’re going somewhere. Megan: Where? Me: No clue, I’ll talk to you later. Just wanted to let you know. Megan: Ok girl, be safe. I sigh as I place my phone back in my pocket. The truck comes to a stop and I come out of my own little world to look and see an open field. He parks in the middle of it and opens his door. I look at him crazy and he smiles. “Are you coming?” “Where are we?” I ask. “Just get out Sybil, trust me.” I cross my arms over my chest and pout for a minute before dragging myself out of the truck. He walks to the back of the truck and drops the tailgate. He flashes me a sexy smile and I feel my cheeks blush. He sits on the tailgate and pats the spot beside him. Slowly, I walk towards him and hop up beside him. I stare out in the field and listen to the nothing that surrounds us. It’s peaceful and I like it. “I don’t think I’ve ever been out here,” I say. “First time for everything huh?” “I guess so.” “I really am sorry for walking out on you.” He says quietly. As much as I insisted he talk last night, I’m really not looking forward to this conversation. Absentmindedly, I run my fingers along the bed of his truck. I don’t want to look at him right now. I don’t want the truth to come out. “Sybil?” “Yeah?” I say still watching my fingers trace the lines in the bed. He reaches over grabbing my hand and I freeze. My body heats up with his touch as my eyes reach up to meet his. “Talk to me, please.” “I don’t know what to say.” “Who is Caleb?” My face drops and I’m sure it’s ghostly white right now. This conversation isn’t happening. I reach up for the pearl that hangs around my neck and I hold it with my other hand. I close my eyes searching and praying for the words to say. I feel gutted at the fact that I’m even getting ready to answer this. “He was my world.” That’s all I can say, but it’s the truth. “Bad break up?” He asks quietly. “You could say that,” I scoff. “He killed himself five months ago.” His face drops and here comes that sympathy look that I know so well. I hate that damn look and this is the main reason I never wanted to tell him. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry Sybil.” “Don’t do that.” I tell him. “Do what?” “Give me your sympathy. I don’t want it. It’s done and I have to live with the fact that I saw his body lying there in the morgue. I want just one person to look at me and not know it happened.” “Come here,” he says and before I can respond, he pulls me in close to him and holds me. I don’t know how to react so I let him hold me. I don’t protest him and neither of us say another word. A breeze comes through and blows my hair into my face. He pulls away long enough to brush it out of my face and places a soft kiss on my temple before pulling me back into him. He’s intoxicating and in a good way. I feel guilty for thinking that especially after I just told him about Caleb, but I can’t help it. “I’m sorry for ruining the other night.” I finally say. “You didn’t ruin anything. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“Well, you didn’t know.” “I see now why Cory acted the way he did towards me. Can’t say I blame him, he’s a damn good guy for watching over you like he does.” “He told me he’ll loosen up. I kinda told him I like you.” “You like me doll face?” his eyes light up. “Don’t act like you’re surprised.” I deadpan cocking my head to the side. “I want to kiss you but I don’t think it’s appropriate right now.” I smile at the fact that he’s being a complete gentleman. The respect he’s showing, makes me like him just a little more. I squeeze his hand and watch as the sun begins to set in the sky. The temperature begins to drop a little, it’s not cold but it’s enough to give me a chill. I shiver and he pulls me closer. “Are you cold? I have a blanket in the truck. Stay right here, I’ll get it.” He hops down and in a flash he’s back with a small fleece blanket. He wraps it around me and then sits back beside me. He lies back onto the bed of the truck and I stare at him smiling before lying beside him. I turn my head to face him and he’s looking at me smiling. “What?” I ask. “You look beautiful.” I blush at his words and turn my head back to look at the stars that are beginning to shine in the sky. This moment is perfect. I came out here not knowing what to expect and Blaine ended up taking what I had to say better than I thought he would. “Thank you, for the blanket by the way.” I tell him. “You’re welcome.” We lie quietly and it’s nice. He slowly inches closer to me and touches my face. Out of instinct, I turn to face him again. “Do you ever think of running away?” he asks. I look at him and laugh, if he only knew. “All the time. I wonder what it would be like to start over somewhere new where no one knows me or anything that’s happened. I wonder if that would make things easier.” “Let’s do it.” “Do what?” I ask him. “Run away. Let’s get out of here and just go somewhere new. Let’s leave this state and end up somewhere we’ve always dreamed of going to.” I laugh at this attempt at whatever he’s trying to do. Although the thought is amazing, I barely know him. “Blaine, we hardly know each other. I don’t think I could just run away with you.” “Maybe, one day,” he says wearing a half smile. That smile makes my heart flutter and I snuggle closer to his side. I don’t know what it is about him but I feel different when I’m with him. I feel like I can let go of everything and just be myself. I miss that so much. *** Blaine If only she knew how serious I am about running away. I would take her as far away as I could, if she would let me. I felt like an ass asking about Caleb and making her say it when I know good and well what happened. It was all part in getting her to trust me though and it feels like we just may be slowly getting somewhere. She leans closer into me and I hold my breath thinking this is too good to be true. Of course it is, nothing good is going to come out of this so I enjoy what I can. She shared something with me, so I feel I should do the same. What I have to share though, will change everything and I’m not ready for that change yet. If I could make it to where she never knows who I really am, that would be perfect. But nothing is perfect. I know this all too well. Her face in the moonlight takes my breath away. She’s everything I want in a woman but will never have. I want to save her, I will save her. Her eyes close for a moment and I take this opportunity to brush a strand of hair out of her face. Just as her eyes are opening, I plant a soft kiss on her cheek. She turns to face me, lightly pressing her lips against mine. Her lips are soft and taste like pure heaven. Slowly, I move my lips feathering kisses down her neck. She moans softly, her breathing becomes ragged as she lies there. I rest my other hand on her stomach, not trying to tempt fate. The minute I touch her, I can feel her take a breath and my hand moves along with her. My lips move back up to hers where I kiss her like she’s the last person I will ever kiss on this earth. I pull away and watch as she slowly opens her eyes again. She blushes and sits up pulling her knees to her chest. “You’re beautiful, Sybil. I want you to never forget that.” “Thank you.” She says quietly.
I could sit out here all day but I remember her truck is still on campus and she probably needs to get home. I want to ask her to stay with me so I know she’s safe, but Dante could show up at any time and that’s not safe. I doubt she would even agree anyway. “Let’s get you back to your truck. Thank you, for skipping with me today.” “You’re a bad influence.” She giggles as she climbs off the tailgate. She’s being playful. I like this side of Sybil. She runs towards the door of the truck but just as quickly, I catch up to her and grab her from behind her waist. She lets out a squeal as I spin her around before setting her back on her feet. She turns to face me and is still smiling. Her eyes are lit up and it makes this whole day worth it. I open the truck door letting her climb in. I drive a little slower than I should be, as I try to prolong the time I have with her. Campus is dark and not too many vehicles are left in the parking lot. I scan the area for any signs of suspicious activity and when it looks safe, I get out of the truck and go open her door. I don’t want to tell her goodbye. “Text me when you get home?” I ask her. “I can, since you seem to worry about me.” she teases. She has no idea just how much I worry. I kiss her softly on the cheek before watching her get into her truck. As she pulls away, I realize I miss her already. She will text me, I know but I can’t help but wait until she’s been gone a few minutes before I follow her just to be safe.
Chapter 19 Sybil I imagined a thousand scenarios in my head on how this talk would go with Blaine. Never in a million years would I have imagined that he would understand. I didn’t think he would have been as compassionate as he was when he heard about Caleb. Most guys don’t want to hear that kind of thing but Blaine is different. I think I saw that the minute I met him. Seeing him act the way he did tonight made my heart flutter and I still can’t shake that feeling away. I’m smiling like a crazy person the entire drive back home. As I climb out of the truck, I see a paper tucked under the windshield. I wouldn’t have seen it at all if it weren’t for the breeze that came through. I smile thinking Megan left me some cheesy ass note when she left school. God only knows what she put in here. I tuck it into my back pocket as I let myself inside the apartment. The keys land on the table with a thud and I reach into my pocket for the note. I smile as I unfold the piece of paper but when I see the words, my smile vanishes and I fall to my knees. Every fear that I had the day Cory an d I read the letter from Caleb comes rushing back and I feel like my breath has been sucked out of my body. I reach for my phone and with shaky fingers call David. The phone rings for what seems like an eternity and when he finally answers, I thank God. “Hello?” “David,” I say with a shaky voice. “I, I…” “Sybil, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” he asks concerned. I don’t know what to say, I’m freaking out and for the first time since he’s been gone, I’m terrified. “Sybil, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” “S-s-someone left a note on th-the tr-r-u-uck.” I sob. “What does it say? This is important Sybil. Can you read it to me?” My eyes struggle to focus on the words but I’m able to calm down long enough to read them. “ We’ve been watching you. You have until the end of the week to come up with the rest of the money Caleb owes us. If you don’t get the $90,000 by sundown on Sunday, you may be seeing Caleb again real soon .” The paper falls instantly like it’s on fire. $90,000? Caleb, what did you do? I should have known that we wouldn’t be safe for long, but why are they coming after me? Why not his parents? “Do you know who put that on your truck? Do you recognize the handwriting?” “No sir, I have no idea.” “I’ll get the money. Don’t you worry ok, Sybil?” “There has to be another way out, that’s too much money.” I argue. “I have a feeling whoever wrote this is serious and I won’t play around with your safety. Call Cory right now and tell him you’re coming over. I don’t want you in that apartment alone.” “Yes sir. I’m so scared.” I tell him. “Everything will be taken care of. Call Cory and I’ll keep you posted. I’m going to do some digging around.” We hang up and I struggle to call Cory. I’ve barely had a chance to process any of this and now I’m having to live my life in fear if David can’t come up with $90,000 by Sunday. The idea of someone watching me all this time makes my skin crawl. I haven’t noticed anyone out of the ordinary but I suppose if they are watching you, they aren’t meant to be seen. I see Megan’s name first so I call her. She’s laughing as she answers the phone and I miss being able to laugh. I don’t know if I can ever laugh again. “Hey girl, we were just talking about you!” “Oh,” is all I can say. “Sybil? What’s wrong?” That’s the million dollar question of the day. Boy, am I about to blow her mind. “Can I come stay with ya’ll tonight?” I ask quietly. “Of course you can.” “I’m on my way.” I say before hanging up the phone. I grab a change of clothes and tuck the note back into my pocket before running back out to the truck. I don’t stop until I’m inside and I practically peel out as I leave. Numbly I drive to Cory and Megan’s apartment. I’ve never been more terrified of anything in my life and I’m not sure how to deal with this. Their front door isn’t locked, so I walk right in. Cory sees my puffy red eyes and immediately runs over. “Please don’t tell me Blaine did something.” He says through gritted teeth. He’s in big brother mode and I don’t need that Cory right now. I need my friend Cory. “No,” I whisper. I set my change of clothes on the counter and grab the note out of my pocket. Megan comes to stand beside me wrapping her arms around me. She senses the pain and she doesn’t even know half of it yet. Cory takes the note from me and a string of cuss words fly from his lips. “How did you get this, Sybil?”
“I saw it on my truck when I got home. I was with Blaine all afternoon, we left my truck at school.” I answer. “Did you call David?” “Yes. He told me to come here. What the hell is going on Cory? I thought we were safe. I’m fucking scared out of my mind.” Cory hands Megan the note and her eyes about pop out of her head as she reads the taunting words. “$90,000? Fucking shit, how the hell are you supposed to come up with that?” “David said he’s going to pay it. There’s got to be another way out.” “Not with loan sharks, Syb. You’re family and family takes care of one another.” He walks to the fridge and grabs a beer handing it to me. “Thank you.” I tell him. My phone vibrates and I pull it out to find a message from Blaine. Shit, I never texted him when I got home. Blaine: Did you make it home ok? I had a great day with you. Me: I’m so sorry. Something came up and I’m staying with Megan and Cory. Blaine: Is everything ok? Me: No. Blaine: Please talk to me, don’t shut me out. Me: My life is falling apart. He doesn’t text back but instead my phone rings. Megan looks at me and gives me a sad smile. “Go ahead and answer it, we’ll give you some space.” Cory holds onto the note and sits on the couch before picking up his phone to call Caleb’s dad like I did. “Hello?” “Sybil, what’s going on? You were fine just a few minutes ago.” Blaine says concerned. “My life is over Blaine,” I say with a shaky voice. “I don’t think running away would help anything.” “Talk to me or I swear I will find where Cory lives and I will come to you.” I can’t let Blaine see me like this. I’m a mess, I just found out if I don’t get these people $90,000 in a few days, my life is in grave danger. Not even Blaine’s sexy ways can pull a smile from me. “Did you see a note on my windshield?” I ask. “No, I didn’t. What did it say?” he asks. “God, I really don’t know how to say this,” I begin to whimper. “Take your time. I’m here, its ok.” Understanding Blaine, just when I need him. But will he really be understanding when he really hears what’s going on? “I, I have to come up with $90,000 by Sunday. If I don’t, th-they will k-k-kill me.” I sob trying once again to catch my breath. “Who, Sybil? What’s going on?” A string of cuss words escape his lips and for a moment, I do wish he were here to hold me just like he did in the tailgate of his truck. “Caleb owed someone money, I didn’t know it was this much and I’m scared Blaine.” “Sybil, I swear with every breath I have that I will do whatever I can to make sure you’re safe. If you want to get the hell out of town, I’ll take you wherever you want to go. I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to. I won’t let anything happen to you.” “That means so much to me Blaine, but I don’t think you can save me.” *** Blaine I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I knew this was going to happen somehow but for Dante to leave the note on her truck? Dammit. I fucking hate myself for not having seen that when she got into her truck. She found it all alone and had no one there for her. The thought of her scared has my blood boiling and I know it’s time to get this plan rolling. I’d die to keep her safe and if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. Sybil doesn’t deserve any of this. She’s sobbing quietly on the phone and it’s breaking my heart to not be with her. I told her I’ll take her anywhere but she doesn’t believe me. I want her to believe me. “Is Cory around Sybil?” I ask. “Yeah, he’s right here.” “Let me talk to him.” I hear muffled voices and I can’t hear what they are saying. I want to punch a wall or better yet, Dante’s face but I tell myself I need to control my anger. “Hello?”
“Hey man, what the hell is going on?” I ask him. I hate pretending I have no clue what’s going on. “Shit’s going down and it’s not pretty. I’m sure she told you about Caleb. Well, apparently he owes someone a fucking lot of money and they threatened her.” “Fuck. Does she have any idea who it could be?” I ask. Lies, deception, they continue to flow freely from my lips. “We have no fucking clue man. I’m glad you called her, can I ask you a favor?” “Yeah, what is it?” I ask. “I’m going to see Caleb’s parents tomorrow. Supposedly they are going to pay the money but I want to see if there’s any other options. Megan has some things to do for school and I don’t want Sybil alone. Can you stay around her? She likes you and trusts you for some reason. As her best friend, I am willing to do the same.” Cory is trusting me and sadly, he has no clue that I’m the last person he should trust. “Yeah man, just tell me when and where.” “Meet us on campus in the morning, but she isn’t going to her classes. I’m going to tell her to email her teachers and the teacher at the elementary school and tell them she’s sick. And I may be jumping the gun but I don’t want her home this weekend. If Caleb’s dad is paying, then he and I will deliver this money. She’s had enough trauma.” “I can see if she will leave town with me, maybe stay the night somewhere and I can bring her back when we receive the go-ahead.” “Sounds perfect man. Talk to her about it tomorrow morning. I’ll let you talk to her again. Thanks, Blaine.” “No problem.” Her soft voice comes back over the phone and my heart breaks a little more. “I’m so sorry Blaine.” “For what doll face?” “Dragging you into something like this.” “Don’t be. I’ll see you in the morning ok?” “Ok.” I hang up the phone and hate myself for all of this. She’s going to hate me in the end. I know it and I’m never going to forgive myself for the shit that I’ve put her through.
Chapter 20 Sybil My head is pounding when I wake up. I cried myself to sleep most of the night and I’m feeling the after effects of it this morning. Last night before I laid down, I emailed all my teachers and even the school like Cory told me to. I’m pissed more than anything that this chaos is interrupting my school life. I’ve busted my ass to get through college and now, I’m struggling to get through this semester. Thankfully, most of my teachers are nice. I smell coffee so I make my way into the kitchen. Megan is already gone to school and Cory is sitting at the table nursing a cup. “Good morning.” He says. “How are you feeling today?” “I’ve been better. Just when I think things are going good, they blow up in my face.” I say as I fix myself a cup of coffee. His green eyes look sad as he tries to smile. “I know. I’m going to see David today. He was supposed to be looking into some stuff. Blaine is going to meet us on campus to watch over you. I don’t care where he takes you but I don’t want you alone.” “Ok. Do you really think everything will be ok?” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “It will be, don’t you worry. We’re going to get through this.” “I hope so. I’m ready to be normal again, you know?” “Yeah, I do know. Let’s get you to school, I’m anxious to talk to David and see what’s going on.” I get up going to change my clothes. The bags under my eyes are horrible but I don’t care right now. I dab a little powder on my face before looking back into the mirror. I hardly recognize myself anymore, I miss me. Cory is standing by the door waiting for me. I hop into his truck and we drive towards campus. He parks in the parking lot I usually park in and I immediately spot Blaine’s truck. He meets me at my door and once I get out, he talks to Cory for a second before placing his hand on my back and leading me to his truck. I can’t even look him in the eyes right now. I’m mortified that he knows half of what’s going on but for some reason he’s sticking around. “Do you have any idea where you would like to go this weekend? Cory wants me to get you out of town when they deliver the money.” I look over at him staring blankly at his face. “I don’t care, whatever you decide is fine.” Most of the day with him is spent in silence. I don’t know what to say and I’m on edge waiting to hear from Cory. I want to know what David is really going to do because whatever it is, it involves me. When he drops me back off to Cory and Megan’s apartment, he grabs my hand and offers a small smile. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon ok? We’ll get out of town and be back the next morning.” I try to smile because I want to be happy. “Sounds good.” *** Megan is sitting on the couch when I walk inside. She’s got a pencil in her mouth and she’s concentrating awfully hard. I plop down beside her and she turns to face me. “How was your day, Syb?” “Ugh, horrible. I didn’t want to talk to him and it just felt awkward. Have you heard from Cory?” “Yeah, he called just a minute ago. He’s on his way home. He sounded tired.” “I hope they figured something out.” “You know Cory, something will be done.” We start talking about school and everything else when Cory comes walking in the front door. I immediately quit talking and just stare at him. He throws his keys on the counter and lets out a sigh. “Well, his dad is hiring a private investigator to look into this. He wants to know who Caleb even owes the money to because they never said where to meet or anything on the note, so how the hell are you supposed to pay it? This guy is supposed to be good so if all goes well, he may know something soon.” I just nod my head. Things are just turning in all the ways I never expected and I feel numb. “So, I won’t have to hand the money over, David will?” “That’s the plan. Your safety is most important. I don’t even want you driving the truck because they know it. Leave it here and ride with Blaine. I’ll trust him to keep you safe.” Cory tells me. Again, I nod my head and blink back tears. “I’m going to lie down. I’m tired.”
“You sure Sybil? We can watch a movie or something if you want.” Megan offers. I give her a weak smile and shake my head no. I stalk to their spare room, the one I lived in for a few months after Caleb’s death and fall asleep as soon as my body hits the bed. Morning comes too quickly and I struggle to pull myself from bed. I need some things from my apartment but I’m too scared to go by myself, so Cory and Megan accompany me. I grab my pink duffle bag and pack something for bed along with a change of clothes for the morning. I toss my toothbrush and a few extra toiletries into the bag before zipping it up. I take one good look around the apartment and sigh. I want this to stay my safe haven but until this mess is settled, I know it’s far from it. David calls to make sure everything is ok and to inform us he has no news yet. Cory tells him we are all safe and explains the precautions we are taking. He seems a little weary about me going out of town for the night with someone he’s never even heard of, but Cory assures him he fully trusts him and it’s for my safety. Sunday is two days away and I’m thinking of all the normal things that should be happening today. Megan and I should be excited for 80’s night but that’s normal and my life knows no normal right now. She’s offering me a smile but I know deep down, she’s feeling sad for me. I hug her tightly offering her whatever I can to ease her mind. “I’ll be back tomorrow ok?” “Be safe. If something happens you call. I’ll keep you posted on here too ok?” “I love you Meg. I will be back tomorrow.” “I love you too, Sybil. When is Blaine coming to get you?” I look at my phone just in time to see a text from him telling me he’s on his way. “Right now. I hate this so much Meg. Things were never supposed to be this way. I never wanted to see the bad in Caleb but if he hadn’t done this, none of this would be happening. I’m so scared, I don’t want to die.” “Stop it,” she says holding me tighter. “No one is going to die. Don’t you say anything like that, you hear me?” I nod my head and pull away from her. She’s wiping her eyes and putting on the bravest smile she can. She offers me something to eat but I decline. My appetite is scarce right now, although I probably should. There’s a knock at the door and Cory goes to answer. Blaine walks in and he and Cory talk for a minute. Cory approaches me and pulls me in for a hug. “I promised no matter what and if this is how I take care of you, then so be it. Everything will be ok and like Megan told you we will keep you posted.” “I left my keys on the table over there. I’ll text you whenever we get where we’re going.” I break away from Cory to hug Megan again and then Blaine slowly approaches me. “It’s time to go, Sybil.” I look back at the two people I’m most thankful and tell them bye. I don’t know where Blaine is taking me but anywhere but here in this city is ok with me. *** Blaine I don’t want to take her too far away, so I plan to drive to Gonzales. It’s about twenty three miles from where we are. I booked a hotel room last night and I’m sure she won’t want to do anything but sit in there. I can’t imagine how she is feeling right now and I really don’t want to know what she would think, if she knew my role in all this. It’s hard to pull her away from her friends but it’s really for the best. She climbs into the truck wearing a sad look on her face. She doesn’t talk to me but stares out the window the entire drive. When we stop at the hotel, she looks around and the looks at me. “We’re here?” she asks softly. “Yeah, I didn’t want to take you too far away. Is this ok with you?” “Yeah. Can we just stay inside? I don’t really want to do anything.” “I figured you would want that. That’s not a problem. I’m going to check us in and go to the gas station to get some snacks and maybe something to drink. Do you want anything?” She looks back at the hotel then turns to face me. “I want something to take the pain away. Can you do that?” I smile the best I can before jumping out the truck. “I can do that for you. Let’s get inside.” Checking in takes no time at all and we ride the elevator up to our room. I open the door for her and she walks in slowly placing her bag on one of the empty beds. I got two beds just in case. She lies down and I sit beside her on the soft mattress. She stares at the ceiling and I wish I could read her thoughts. More than anything, I wish I could take this away and that’s what I’m trying to do. Cory has no idea who they are dealing with and all I can do is hope this goes smoothly. “Caleb’s dad hired a private investigator to look into this. He thinks there may be another way out.” She tells me. Panic swims through me as I realize it’s just a matter of time before I’m figured out. I can’t let that happen. “Let’s not talk about any of that today ok? I know it’s hard not to, but let’s try.”
She nods her head and I lean down to kiss her forehead. “I’m going to run to the gas station real quick. Are you ok or do you want to come with me?” “I’ll stay here.” She answers. “I’ll be right back.” I promise her. She doesn’t even look at me as I make my way out the door. I haven’t heard from Landon or Dante which is scaring the shit out of me so on my way to the store I decide to call Landon. “Hello?” “I haven’t heard from you so I wanted to check in Landon.” “How thoughtful of you. I’m sure you heard about the note Dante had to leave. I hate that it has to come to this but if you had taken care of this in the beginning, it wouldn’t have to be done.” “I understand. You have to do what you have to do and I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry, too. She’s beautiful and well I just hope she was worth it for you. By the way, you haven’t heard from me because you’ve been removed from this job and Dante has taken over. I didn’t bother to tell you because you’ve fucked up one too many times.” I gulp, panic rising in me. “I’ll leave town then if you don’t need me.” “You must think I’m stupid Blaine, Dante needs you for backup. This should be simple enough for you, right?” “Yes sir.” “Good.” End of call. I’m feeling better about the decision to get her out of town now that Dante is head of this job. If she’s not there, he can’t do anything and hopefully Cory and Caleb’s dad will have this taken care of tonight. I walk into the gas station grabbing a few bags of chips, a few candy bars and a case of beer. I pay the cashier and then head back to the hotel. When I walk into the room, Sybil is now sitting up scrolling through the TV channels. She looks up at me and tries to smile but it barely reaches the ends of her lips. “Do you want a beer now or do you want to wait?” “Give me one now, I guess.” I open one and hand it to her. She presses the bottle to her lips and nearly chugs the entire thing in one sip. When she swallows, she smiles and I get a glimpse at the normal everyday Sybil. I open a bag of chips and begin to eat. I offer her one and she accepts it as she settles on reruns of Friends. She laughs a little and that sound is music to my ears. She finishes off the first beer and grabs a second like it’s a bottle of water. I don’t bother to stop her. If this is how she needs to cope, I will let her. If it gets her to loosen up some, then I won’t argue. Cory gave me his phone number so I make sure to let him know we are safe in Gonzales. He responds telling me that they are at the bank trying to get the money. I pity them right now, I really do. I look over to see Sybil grab her third beer. I shake my head and laugh. “What?” she asks smiling. “Nothing at all doll face.” She inches a little closer to me and grabs a chip out of the bag in my lap. My cock twitches at her being so close but I try to contain myself. To clear my head, I grab a beer and down in it a few seconds.
Chapter 21 Sybil About five or six beers later, I’m feeling much better than I was this morning. Who’s counting anyway? I actually feel safe for once and I don’t care if I’m hung over in the morning. I don’t plan on stopping for anything. Blaine suffers through episode after episode of Friends and doesn’t complain once. I inch closer to him after I start my next beer. My thoughts are starting to become fuzzy but that’s ok because I’m tired of seeing things for what they really are. I haven’t heard from Cory or Megan so I’m assuming all is well right now. I know Blaine let him know we got here but that’s all I know. Blaine is so close to me, I can feel his body heat radiating against me. His smell is intoxicating and I can’t help but lean in closer. He looks at me, his face a few mere inches from mine. “What are you doing Sybil?” What am I doing? I don’t know but I like the direction this is going right now. I grab ahold of his arm pull myself onto his lap. I take another sip of my beer before setting it on the nightstand. I let out a giggle as I situate myself. I can feel his cock come to life under me and it sends my body into a frenzy. I lean forward pressing my lips against his in a slow, soft kiss. “I’m kissing you, Blaine.” He kisses me back, groaning as he picks me up by my waist pulling me closer to him. Our chests are against one another and I can hear his erratic heartbeat. My hands run under his shirt. His shirt needs to come off but I take my time feeling every chiseled muscle underneath. When I’m sure I’ve had my fair feel, I tug upward at the fabric until he helps me remove it. I stare in awe as I continue to run my hands up and down his chest. He growls before flipping me on my back. In one swift movement, he’s on top of me and my shirt is on the floor. My bra is still on but in one snap of his wrist, it joins my shirt. He goes hungrily to my breasts and I moan as he pulls them one by one into his mouth. I close my eyes as pleasure shoots through my body. His mouth lands on mine and he kisses me greedily with more passion than I could imagine. My hand reaches down into the waist of his pants and I grab his cock in my hand. He groans as he tugs his pants down to his ankles. I continue to stroke him as he slides his hand down my pants. His thumb circles my clit much like the other time and just like then, he slides two fingers inside. “Blaine,” I pant as he increases his speed. My breathing is increasing as he continues to pleasure me. He removes my pants and they land beside his. He kisses my chest and then continues to feather kisses down my body until he reaches his fingers. My breath hitches as he places a kiss on each of my thighs before attacking my clit. I buck trying to contain myself but I’m pretty sure I’ll be coming really soon. He works his fingers and his tongue in a melodic rhythm and my I feel my body begin to convulse. “You taste so fucking good.” He says. “Oh my god, please. I need to feel you.” “You sure? God I want to be inside you. You feel so damn good.” He pants as he comes back up to kiss me. He pulls away long enough to grab a condom out of his wallet. I’m glad he thought about that, because it was slowly slipping my mind. “I’m going to fuck you now. Damn, I can’t contain myself anymore.” He growls. Within seconds, the condom is on and he thrusts himself into me. I cry out at the sharp pain but as he continues to thrust, the pain turns to pleasure. I match him thrust for thrust. He reaches down to circle my clit as he brings me back to the point of no return. Before I can come, he pulls out and flips me around. Something about this is so raw, but erotic in the same way. I’m on all fours on the bed waiting for him to slam into me but he inserts his fingers again. “I want to taste your sweetness again but I’m aching to be back inside you.” I moan as he slowly works his fingers inside me and when he’s satisfied, he pulls them out and then slams mercilessly into me. He pounds me relentlessly and it isn’t long before my body convulses again around him. I’m weak and I want to lay on the bed, but with one arm he holds me up as the convulsions slowly end. Gently, he rolls me over and kisses me softly on the lips. I lay my head on his chest and listen as his heart beats. “That was amazing Sybil.” He says. I’m still trying to regain control of my breathing so I don’t speak right away. If I had to speak, I’m not sure what I would even say. I reach up for my beer and finish it before resting my head back on his chest. His chest is sweaty but I don’t care right now. I smile as I remember him inside me, my body felt so alive in that moment. When I feel I can breathe somewhat normally, I sit up and reach for my t-shirt.
“What are you putting that on for?” Blaine asks wearing a lazy smile. “Put that smile away,” I joke. “I’m just putting it on to run to the bathroom.” “I’m taking it back off as soon as you get back in this bed.” “Oh really, not if I take it off first.” I smile before retreating to the bathroom. Once the door is shut, a ton of emotions hit me and I’m not sure what to make of any of them. So we just shared really hot sex, but that doesn’t mean anything does it? Yes, I’m attracted to him, that’s no secret but I’m not thinking anything more of it. I wash my hands when I’m done and smile in the mirror as I remove my shirt and let it hit the ground. I open the door and watch his jaw drop as he drinks me in. Slowly, I walk back towards the bed and when I reach him, I kiss his lips. Much like he did to me, I feather kisses down his chest and when I reach his cock, I slowly wrap my mouth around it. “Fuck,” he groans as he reaches for my face. He gently rubs my face before grabbing my hair. Slowly he helps control the pace as I continue. I swirl my tongue around the tip before taking him again and his moans get louder. “I’m about to come Sybil. I want you to taste every bit of me.” He tells me. I don’t respond in any way, instead I increase my speed and drink in every inch of him as he explodes in my mouth. When he’s finished, he’s still hard as a rock and it’s inviting me. “Do you have another condom?” I ask. He points to his wallet and I reach for one. As soon as it’s on, I lower myself onto him, moaning as he fills me. My hips raise slowly adjusting to him and suddenly, he thrusts upward. I don’t get to stay on top for long before he flips me on my back and takes control again. He must like control, but that’s fine with me. He collapses on top of me minutes later and we lay together in an even sweatier mess than before. My body is begging for a shower, but I think I may be too sore to move. He wasn’t gentle, not like what I was used to with Caleb. Blaine was raw, purely raw. It was different but I can live with that. His eyes weren’t kind but they weren’t mean. There was something about them though that I can’t place. Lust maybe? Quit overthinking it. I let myself fall asleep. When I awake, I notice he’s sleeping, so I quietly get off the bed and finally get to take that shower I’ve been wanting. *** Blaine When I wake, I notice Sybil isn’t lying on me anymore. I sit up frantically thinking the worst in the situation but I’m relieved when I hear the water running in the bathroom. I imagined many times how it would feel to be inside her but none of them compared to what it really felt like. I wanted to make love to her but I’m so overwhelmed with guilt that, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I fucked her. I fucked her hard and good. I hear the shower shut off and in a few minutes, the door opens and she walks out. Her wet hair is pulled back into a ponytail and her nipples are erect through her shirt. Dammit, if she doesn’t watch it, I’ll be fucking her again soon. Maybe that’s what she wants though. “Why didn’t you wake me? I was worried when I woke and you weren’t here.” “Sorry, I wanted a shower.” She smiles. “I don’t know why you took one already, who said I was done with you?” “Hmm, well I need a break. You weren’t exactly gentle.” She states as she plops down on the bed. She checks her phone to see if there’s any news and I’m thankful there isn’t. “Did I hurt you?” I ask seriously as I rub her thigh. She looks at me with those beautiful eyes of hers and just smiles. “Not a bad kind of hurt, so don’t sweat it. Do you think everything is ok back home?” she changes the subject. I don’t know how to answer that because I don’t really know so I come up with my own way to handle the situation. “Have we heard anything?” “No, that’s what scares me.” “Everything is fine, I’m almost certain.” I say kissing her head. “You said almost. Don’t say almost.” “Ok I’m certain that everything is fine.” She groans as she hits me in the chest. “ Ow! What’s that for?” “I just wanted to.” She smiles. I pin her to the bed, she’s giggling uncontrollably trying to get out from under me. I want to freeze this moment and save her from all the pain. She’s quick because she maneuvers her body just enough where she can slide out. I try to catch her by the ankle but my phone goes off multiple times in a row and I stop and stare. I look over to see multiple messages from Dante. I groan silently as I reach for the phone, holding it where Sybil can’t see it.
Dante: There’s a PI snooping around. Know anything about it? Me: No, I don’t know anything. Dante: Bullshit. I know she’s with you, big mistake and you will regret it. He knows about the private investigator and that means time is running out faster. I don’t answer back, instead I turn my phone completely off. I turn back to face Sybil, she watches me but I let nothing show. She plants a kiss on my lips then smiles, “I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” She laughs and disappears shutting the door behind her. I look for her phone and see it on the table. I reach over and power it off too. I’m doing this for her own good, that’s what I keep telling myself. She comes walking back out and I need to distract her for the rest of the night so she doesn’t grab her phone. I turn to face her, put my bedroom eyes on and walk right up to her scooping her up in my arms and begin to take her body to places she’s never dreamed of.
Chapter 22 Sybil I stretch out before raising my head to check the time. I’m ready to get back home and return to a sense of normalcy. I can’t wait to see Megan and Cory. I can’t wait to hug Caleb’s dad for everything he’s done. I can’t wait to get my life back. I look over where Blaine slept and he’s not in the bed. I look towards the bathroom but he’s not in there either. I don’t see my phone and I’m starting to stress. It was here on the table last night, maybe it fell on the floor. I drop to the ground and search but I find nothing. Shit, where the hell is my phone? The door opens and Blaine walks in with coffee and donuts. “Hey, good morning. I went down and got some breakfast before we head back home.” I take the coffee from him and take a sip. “Hey, I can’t find my phone have you seen it?” “I haven’t seen it since last night, we were pretty busy.” I blush as I recall last night. Last night is part of the reason I’m moving a little slower than normal. “I can’t leave until I find it. What if Cory tried to contact me?” “He would have tried mine and I have nothing. Let’s look and we will find it.” We search the room endlessly and I’m getting more agitated by the minute. Finally I find it under the damn pillow of all places. How did it get there? I tap the button but it won’t come on. I never turned my phone off, so what the hell? I look at Blaine but all he does is grab my bag and ask if I’m ready to go. I walk briskly out the room towards the exit. I’m ready to be home, more than ready. My phone powers on and messages start popping up left and right. All of them from Cory and each one more frantic than the other. My heart rate speeds up as I begin to read them one after another. Cory: I’m trying to call you where are you? Cory: Dammit Sybil, call me it’s important!! Cory: Leave the hotel NOW, get out of there. Blaine isn’t who you think he is. He works for those people. You’re scaring me, call me. Panic takes over and I try to stay as calm as I can. My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m terrified. Blaine is one of the bad guys, and oh my god I slept with him. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I can’t cry. Blaine will know something is up. Why is this happening to me? There’s a few messages from Cory that I haven’t read yet so I try my best to act normal as he starts the truck and begins driving home. He’s making conversation with me like nothing is wrong, it’s like I was never supposed to figure this out. I’ve slept with the enemy and I’m nothing more than a pawn in his game. I begin to read the rest of the messages to see what else Cory had to say. Cory: Answer your fucking phone, Sybil. Megan is dead. My whole world comes to a screeching halt. Megan is dead? I want to scream. I want to punch the windshield. Instead, I start ugly crying right there in the cab of the truck. “What’s wrong?” Blaine asks. I want to tell him how much I hate him and I know everything but this isn’t the time for that. Not until I’m home and around other people. “I need to get home. Now. Megan is dead.” I whisper continuing to cry. His eyes grow wide and he suddenly steps on the gas. With shaky hands, I fumble to call Cory. I’m not there for him and it’s killing me. He tried to contact me and my phone was off. “Where the hell are you Sybil?” Cory answers. He sounds like hell and I know more than anyone what he’s going through. “On my way home now. What the fuck happened Cory?” I ask. “Now you care? Where were you when I called you last night? Did he fucking hurt you Sybil?” “Quit it, Cory! No, I just got all your messages. I’m freaking out, ok? I’m a few minutes from home, I’m coming.” “Yeah I bet you did that all last night too and that’s why you ignored us and now Megan is dead, so I hope you’re happy.” End of call. Tears stream down my face. I keep telling myself he’s just hurt and that’s why he’s acting this way. I mean just a few months ago, he lost his best friend and now his girlfriend is dead. Blaine gets us home in record time and I grab my bag and jump out of the truck. I walk up to him and slap him
across his face. “What the fuck is that for?” he says with a raised voice. “I fucking hate you. I know who you are and I can’t believe I fell for your shit.” I hiss. “Get the fuck away from me, I never want to see you again.” “I fucking saved you Sybil. I could have taken care of this weeks ago but I tried to save you.” He spits out. “I told you from the beginning, I didn’t need your fucking help. You fucking knew about Caleb and you played me for a fool! You had something to do with Megan’s death didn’t you? I suggest you leave now.” “Let me explain, does that sound familiar? No, I had nothing to do with her death. Did Caleb ever make you moan like I made you moan last night? Answer that for me.” he says smugly. I rear my hand back again and before I can slap him he catches my hand. I struggle to pull my hand away but he holds it tighter. “I hate you, let me go.” “Get your fucking hands off her, asshole.” Cory says as he runs up to me and pushes Blaine. Blaine pushes back before Cory connects his fist with his jaw. He never gets a hit on Cory and I’m silently cheering on the inside. “Your boss got his fucking money now get the fuck out of here. If I see you again, I’ll fucking kill you.” “Fuck you, I tried to help her.” “You fucking ruined her!” Cory yells pushing him again. Blaine looks like he’s about to retaliate but instead he climbs in his truck and peels out leaving Cory and I standing alone in front of his apartment. I turn to look at Cory but he won’t look at me. He stalks back to the front door. I half expect him to slam it and keep me out but he keeps it open. He’s pacing inside as I walk in. I walk up to him and try to put my arms around him but he jerks away. When he looks at me, his eyes are red from crying. He fights me off but I don’t stop until my arms are wrapped around him and I hug him as tightly as I can. “I’m so sorry, Cor.” I whisper knowing my words won’t really help. “Where were you?” he cried. “I called and called, I needed you and you weren’t there.” Guilt and anger surge through my veins as I rethink the events of last night. I feel dirty for having Blaine touch me in the most intimate places and then have to find out he was the enemy all along. It hits me like a ton of bricks, Blaine turned my fucking phone off. It’s his fault I didn’t get any of my messages. “He turned my phone off. I didn’t know Cor, I swear. I would have left in a heartbeat. I’d have taken his truck while he was sleeping and come straight here. Please tell me what happened.” He stares off at nothing before finally speaking. “I was with Caleb’s dad. We were making plans to meet with these people and that’s when the PI called and gave him names. I knew that motherfuckers name the minute I heard it and that’s when I tried to contact you first. You were never safe with him and I knew it. I’ll never forgive myself if something would have happened. Megan texted me saying she needed to go to the store so she was taking your truck. About an hour later, we get a call from the cops that the truck was run off the road. She flipped a few times before stopping. She didn’t die right away. She fucking suffered and no one was there for her. Someone happened to catch the plate number of the vehicle and traced him back to the people Blaine works for. It was supposed to be you.” My face turns white as he tells me that. I clasp my hand over my mouth as sobs escape. They tried to kill me but Megan just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m so angry right now, at Blaine, but at Caleb most of all. If it weren’t for his stupidity and idiotic decisions then we wouldn’t be in this situation. Lives wouldn’t be taken for no reason. “I hate Caleb for doing this to us.” I sob. “None of this is fair. Why do we have to suffer for his mistakes? I feel like I didn’t even know him at all.” As much as I loved Caleb, I don’t know that I feel the same way now because if someone loved you they wouldn’t subject you to half of what we’ve been subjected to. It just shows how selfish he was. He didn’t care about us at all. Because of Caleb, I was tricked and manipulated by a guy that I had no idea was bad. Blaine used me, he fucked me and got what he wanted all along. I’ve never know so much hurt in my life and I wish it would just go away. “Me neither. And Megan’s family is poor, they don’t have the money to do anything for her. I don’t know what’s going to happen. They didn’t even know about me.” I look at him incredulously. I realize now that I also knew nothing about Megan. She was the best friend I’ve ever had and now she’s gone. No more girl to girl talks where she helps me through all of life’s problems, no more 80’s night. No more anything, because of Caleb. “I’m not leaving you alone Cory.” I say quietly. “What’s it matter, Sybil? Does it really fucking matter? I made Caleb a damn promise because he was my best damn friend and he fucking played us. We’ve lost everything and you weren’t there when I needed you.”
“I’m here now, Cory!” I yell out of frustration. “It’s not the same and you know it! You were off fucking Blaine, the worst one of all and I was here sucking air!” “I said I’m sorry, Cory! You’re the one who sent me away!” “So it’s my fault? Unbelievable. I never want to hear Caleb’s name again.” He cries. “Neither do I.” I whisper. “I’m really not leaving you alone. You didn’t let me stay alone, and yes, I fucked up last night but I’m making it up to you.” “I don’t want you here Sybil. I don’t want anyone here. I want to be alone.” He spits out harshly. I take a step back and try to dry my tears. “Let me be there for you, Cory.” “Whatever. I’m going out, I’ll be back later.” I take his keys and stuff them down my shirt. Cory won’t dare touch me so it’s safe. He glares at me before grabbing my hand. “Give me my keys.” “No, you’re staying here Cory. You’re in no condition to be going anywhere.” “What are you my mother?” he mocks stepping a little closer to me. I roll my eyes and pull the keys from my shirt. I dangle them in front of his face. “Here, I’m not arguing with you. Go be stupid and maybe when you get to the afterlife you can tell Caleb how much we hate him.” “I said I didn’t want to hear his name. You win Sybil. Stay, I don’t care but please just let me be.” “Fine.” I say. I remember all too well what it means to grieve someone I love, so I watch him stalk off to his room and shut the door. I hear him cry and it breaks my heart but I told him I’d let him be, so that’s what I do. If it weren’t for the fact that Caleb’s unsuspecting mother handed me this pearl necklace, I would rip it from my skin. I don’t want it touching me, it suddenly feels tainted. I carefully remove it and place it on the bookshelf. So I don’t have to see it, I set it behind a book. I put my head in my hands and cry. I never want to go back inside that apartment again, not with his stuff in there. I don’t want to look at any of his pictures, I don’t want to look at anything. I won’t throw it away. Maybe I can bring it to his parent’s or to a storage building. I don’t care where it goes, as long as it’s not around me. You think you know someone, but in the end you know nothing and it’s you who gets burned. I played with fire and it didn’t just burn me, it scorched me. I’ll probably never be repaired. I’ll be forever broken because of the love of one boy.
Chapter 23 Cory I’m sad. More than anything, I’m fucking angry. I loved Caleb like a brother my entire life and he screwed me over. When he killed himself, I had no clue what was going on. Now I know more than I ever wanted to know and I hate him. What the fuck was he thinking doing this to us? Most importantly, to Sybil. I watched her cry many nights. I held her through some of the toughest moments after he died. Not only did I lose him, but I lost Megan. We’d only been dating a year, out of that year we’d lived together for about seven months. Now Sybil and I are alone. I’m ashamed of the things I told her tonight, but what the hell was I supposed to say? I needed her more than anything and I couldn’t get ahold of her. Do I believe that asshole turned her phone off? I do. He fucking knew I was onto him and he knew it was coming. I blame Blaine but I can’t help but point all the blame to the guy who claimed to be my best friend. I’m sitting alone in my room when I should be out there talking to Sybil. Megan wasn’t just my girlfriend, she was Sybil’s friend. An hour has passed and if I sit in here any longer, I’ll lose my mind. I stand up wiping my eyes of any tears that remain and walk towards the door. I let my hand linger on the doorknob for several seconds before finally opening it. The quietness is deafening, my ears are ringing and I almost retreat back to my room but I see Sybil standing in the kitchen making a sandwich. She wipes a tear from her cheek as she turns to put the knife in the sink. Her eyes lock with mine for a minute and they quickly look away. I don’t blame her, I was an asshole earlier. She walks past me not even acknowledging me, I deserve that. I get it, I’m getting the silent treatment. I did ask her to let me be but I figured she would at least try to talk. I walk over to the fridge and grab two beers. She’s sitting on the couch slowly nibbling on her sandwich. I sit beside her and hold the beer out to her. She looks at the beer then at me. She stares at me for a moment before accepting the beer. Her hand holds mine for a minute and she gives it a small squeeze. “I’ll never forgive myself, Cor.” She whispers. “I don’t want to talk about that, Sybil. I’m sorry for everything I said.” “You had every right to say what you did.” She returns to her sandwich and takes a sip of the beer. We sit there in absolute silence. She doesn’t look at me and I officially feel like shit. What are two broken people supposed to do? Last night after I got the news about Megan, I took all her pictures and stuffed them in a box. I couldn’t look at her face without losing my mind. The last conversation we held played over and over again in my head ,. She was onto how I felt about Sybil and there was nothing I could do to make that go away. I don’t know how Sybil did it when Caleb died. I attempt to make conversation a few more times with her but she’s doing just what I asked. I’m frustrated and wondering why the hell I walked out of the room. I thought she’d at least talk to me and we could make up since we’re all each other has to lean on. I stand up and walk over to the counter where my keys are. I grab them and she finally looks up at me. “I’ll be back.” I walk out before she can protest and I climb into the truck not stopping until I reach the nearest bar. *** Sybil Cory walked out before I could try to stop him again. He’s so up and down right now, I don’t know if he wanted to be stopped. He needs time alone, I understand that. I’ve been there, I lived it. I’m disgusted with myself as the events of last night flash through my mind. I stand up immediately and run to the shower. I stand in the shower letting the hot water purge my skin. Once I’m satisfied that every trace of Blaine is gone, I step out and dry off. Hours pass and Cory isn’t back yet. I’m not sure if I should worry, but I already am. He’s in no shape to drive or go anywhere but at the same time he’s a grown man and I can’t stop him. I decide to lie on the couch until he comes in, but the hours continue to pass and I eventually fall asleep. I’m tormented in my dreams as Caleb’s face haunts them. There’s too much in them that I can’t deal with right now, things I don’t want to ever think about again. I wake up sweating in a panic when I hear my phone ringing. I don’t recognize the number, but I answer it anyway. “Hello?” I answer. “Is this Sybil?” the man on the other end asks. “Y-Yes,” I answer cautiously. “This is Greg from Frank’s Bar. We have Cory here, he’s in pretty bad shape and he’s asking for you.” Fuck. I have no way to get to him because I don’t have a vehicle anymore. Luckily for me, Frank’s is just about a block away so I put my shoes on and start walking.
Relief washes over me when I realize I can walk without fear of being followed. I feel safe again and I am happy about that. A few other people are walking and that makes me feel even safer. I walk a few more minutes before I’m standing in front of the doors of Frank’s. I take a deep breath as I pull the door open. The music fills my ears, it’s happy music, but I know Cory is anything but happy. I look around for him and when I don’t see him I approach the bar. The bartender smiles at me and I try my best to smile back. “My name is Sybil, Greg called me about Cory. Do you know where he is?” “Follow me.” she says. She leads me back towards the restrooms. I watch all the people having fun without a care in the world. I miss those days. She passes the restrooms and approaches a door a few feet away. She turns the knob and there is Cory sitting beside a box with his head in his lap. “Oh, here’s his keys when you can get him moving. Greg handed them to me.” I thank her and she walks off leaving me alone with Cory. I’m not sure if he even realizes anyone is standing in the room with him. He looks like a zombie. I kneel down beside him and place my hand on his back. “Cory, come on let’s go home.” “I don’t have a home. I don’t have anything.” He slurs. “You have me. Now come on, please.” “Just leave me here Sybil, I want to be alone. Her parents called me. They are cremating her and aren’t doing a service at all. It’s done. There’s nothing I can do.” I sigh as I rub his back. I want to cry but I have to be strong for him. “Cory, I’m so sorry. Come on, you can’t stay here in this bar. They will eventually kick you out. You’re drunk.” “How did you find me?” “They called me and I walked here.” “You’re like my beautiful angel aren’t you?” he says as he slowly picks his head up. I look at him funny knowing it’s just the alcohol talking. I stand up and reach for his hand. Slowly, he places his hand in mine and I help him up. He offers me a drunken smile and I help him slowly walk through the bar and out the doors. He stopped and dry heaved the minute the air hit him. I stood beside him rubbing his back, offering him any kind of help I could. When he was ok, I helped him into his truck and drove home. He lays his head against the window and whispers, “What are we supposed to do?” I park the truck and look at him. “I don’t know.” I climb out and help him get into the apartment. He stumbles inside accidentally knocking a vase over. It shatters all over the floor and I look at him sympathetically. I instruct him to sit in one of the kitchen chairs so I can sweep up the mess. He watches me as I empty the dustpan into the trashcan. “You’re too good to me Sybil.” He murmurs. “That’s what friends do.” I reply as I help him out of the chair. We walk slowly to his room and once he’s inside I look at him. “I’ll be in the other room, if you need anything, ok?” “Please don’t leave me Sybil.” “I’m not. I’ll be in the other room.” He reaches for my hand and holds it tightly. “I don’t want to sleep alone. Please.” I sigh knowing he’s drunk and probably won’t remember any of this in the morning. This seems wrong on so many levels, but he’s in need of a friend. Nothing is going to happen. I’ll lay here until he falls asleep then I’ll get up and go to the other room. “I’ll stay in here with you.” I tell him. He lays down first and turns onto his side. I lay beside him on my back and stare at the ceiling. I wait for his breathing to even out so I can get up but my eyelids betray me and I end up falling asleep. *** I wake up startled and notice it’s not even daylight yet. Where am I? I suddenly remember when I feel an arm around me and panic rises through me. I look over and Cory’s arm is draped around my waist. I know nothing happened but this feels wrong. Slowly, I try to move his arm. I don’t know if he’ll remember asking me to lie beside him when he wakes and I don’t want it to be awkward. I almost have his arm moved when he tightens his hold on me. “Don’t go.” I turn to face him and his eyes are half opened. I feel so bad for him but I still would feel better in the other room. “ Shh, go back to sleep. I’m going to the other room.” “No.” he says not loosening his grip on my waist. I feel like I can’t tell him no so I relax and stare at the ceiling until I
fall asleep again. Daylight comes through the window a few hours later. Cory’s arm is still around my waist but he’s slowly stirring which means he’s waking up. I hold my breath as he stretches out, I’m finally free from his hold so I slowly pick my head up. He looks at me and offers a weak smile, “Thank you for last night.” His face looks somber for a moment as he quietly asked, “Nothing happened, you know between us?” “No,” I quickly answer. “You asked me to lay here with you, so I did. That’s all.” “Thank you.” Is all he says as he slowly stands. “I’ll make some coffee.” I say once I feel the awkwardness in the room. This is what I wanted to avoid. He nods his head and walks into the bathroom. I make a pot of coffee and wait for him to emerge from the bathroom.
Chapter 24 Three Weeks Later Cory Sybil has stayed with me every day since the day after Megan died. She’s been my rock, she’s been everything to me. Last week, I helped her pack all of her and Caleb’s things. His stuff went to storage and her stuff moved into my apartment. She sleeps in the spare room for the most part, with the exception of a few times where I’ve been too drunk and begged her to stay with me. She never argues and nothing ever happens. I’ve noticed her looking at me sometimes. Our eyes meet occasionally but she’s always the first to break contact. I notice things about her that I never have before. Like how her eyes shine when she talks about something she’s really passionate about. An example of that would be the kids in the school she visits once a week. She’s sad the semester is about to end but she’s also one step closer to being in a classroom of her own and I know she can’t wait to do that. I also notice how she gets aggravated when she can’t do something, like open the jar of spaghetti sauce. I got up to help her and she finally got it but dropped the jar and sauce splattered all over both of us. I laughed at her and she glared at me before laughing too. I shouldn’t be looking at her the way I do, but I can’t help it. There’s just something about her, there’s always been something about her but I never paid attention to it because she had Caleb and I had Megan. I feel dirty knowing Megan was onto me, it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Sybil's already gone for the day, off to the school. She quit the bookstore after everything happened and she’s been happier since. My class got canceled for the day so I decide to stay home and clean. Yeah, I feel like a pansy for cleaning but Sybil has been doing all the cooking and frankly, she’s spoiling me. I need to step up and do something to help her out. She’s helped pull me out of the rut I’d fallen into. Many a night over the past three weeks, she’s had to come and help me when I’d drank myself into an oblivion at the bar. I’ve been banned from Frank’s. I don’t really blame them. I never caused any problems, but I guess they didn’t want to deal with a sappy drunk. I’m waiting to see if she will avoid me today. I crossed the line last night, I was drunk but I knew what I was doing. I kissed her. I pressed my lips against hers and softly kissed her goodnight. She didn’t kiss me back, she didn’t do anything. She just rolled over and went to bed. This morning she was gone before I woke up. I guess she thinks I won’t remember any of it, but I remember just how soft her lips were and how badly I wanted to see what she tastes like. I’m a shitty best friend. I made him one promise and I have fulfilled it to the best of my abilities but at the same time, I can’t help but notice these feelings and I feel like I’m betraying him. He’s not here though. I never would have thought to make a move on her. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way but she’s making me feel whole again and she doesn’t even realize it. I can’t let her know this though. It would surely scare her off and I don’t think I could survive without her here with me. The apartment is clean and I take a step back smiling at my progress. I just hope she’s happy with it too. I’d try to make dinner but I don’t want to fuck that up. I haven’t cooked in weeks and honestly am not feeling up to it but what the hell. I take some steaks out of the freezer and begin to thaw them out. I’ll make her steaks and baked potatoes. She deserves a break. Thunder rumbles outside and within a matter of minutes, there’s a torrential downpour outside. The rain falls down in thick sheets and I can’t help but wonder if she has an umbrella with her. Caleb’s parent’s insisted on buying her a car after everything happened. They told her to consider it an early graduation present. They surprised her with a black Volkswagen Jetta. The car is sleek and elegant and she looks beautiful driving it, but I can’t tell her that either. The front door flies in and I look to see a soaking wet Sybil standing in the doorway. She trips over her own feet and comes flying forward. I’m just at arm’s length so I’m able to catch her. I steady her with my arm and her body stiffens. Her hair is matted against her head and she looks like she got caught in the middle of it all. “Why didn’t you call? I could have met you with an umbrella.” I tell her. “I wasn’t going to ask you to come to campus Cory, I’m fine. It’s just rain.” She says pulling away once she’s steadied herself. “You should go change before you get sick.” I whisper. She was so close I could practically taste her and it’s affecting me in the worst way.
She nods her head and walks to her room to change. Moments later, she emerges in a pair of pink capri sweatpants and a t-shirt. Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun and she’s relaxed. Perfectly relaxed. “Something smells good. Did you cook Cory?” she smiles. “It’s nothing, just thought I’d help out. You’ve done so much for me.” I tell her. “We’re friends that’s what friends do.” She replies as she walks up to look at the steaks. She leans up on her tiptoes taking in the smell of the food. A smile comes across her face and she turns to face me. “These look amazing.” “Thanks,” I say with a genuine smile. “It’s ready when you’re hungry.” She licks her lips and turns to face me. “Let’s dig in.” I grab two plates out of the cabinet and hand one to her so she can fix her plate first. I grab two beers out of the refrigerator and meet her at the table. We eat in silence but I don’t mind at all. I just like having her around. Once we finish eating, we never actually get up from the table. We just sit and drink beer after beer. The more she drinks, the more she smiles and dammit I love her smile. She reaches for her purse and pulls out a bag of Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Squares. I look at her funny and she smiles. “You want one? I have to warn you though, it’s got raspberry in it. I discovered these babies last week. I cannot live without them.” “You sure you can spare one then? I’d hate to have to scoop you up off the floor because you lost out on a chocolate.” Who am I kidding, I’d love to scoop her up off her feet, the floor, it doesn’t really matter to me. She flips me off and laughs as she holds a chocolate square in her hand. She extends the hand across the table and I reach for it. My hand lingers on hers a moment longer than planned and her eyes meet mine. I wonder if she even feels what I do, probably not. I wish I could explain this, but I can’t. What the hell would Caleb and Megan think? I can’t linger on that though because they aren’t here. We’re left to pick up the pieces and maybe she’s what I need, but am I what she needs? *** Sybil Something funny shoots through my veins as Cory’s hand sits on top of mine. This can’t be happening. His eyes linger on mine and I feel my breath hitch. It is happening. His fingers wrap around the chocolate and he pulls his hand away. My hand immediately feels cold and alone, but I play it off as I reach for another chocolate square for myself. I pop it into my mouth and chase it with a sip of beer. I watch as he tastes the chocolate, the melodic rhythm of his jaw moving up and down as he chews it mesmerizes me. The way he licks his lips afterwards, sends chills down my spine, especially when I see that he is watching me as he does it. What the hell is happening to us? I can feel the tension rising and I try to shrug it off. I grab the empty beer bottles and stand to throw them in the trashcan. When I turn back around, Cory is standing right behind me. A lump forms in my throat as he lifts his hand to rub the side of my face. My body shudders at his touch and I don’t know how to react to this. Do I want this? I can’t get another thought through my head before his lips come crashing down on mine. His kiss is soft, like the one last night. I tried to forget that one because I know he was drunk. I hoped he had forgotten about it but it doesn’t seem that way right now. I don’t want to kiss him back, we can’t do this, but my lips betray me and slowly kiss him back. My brain finally registers through the few beers that this is wrong and I break away. He stares at me, panting, his eyes burning with something way different than I’ve ever seen. What does he want from me? “Cory, what are you doing?” “I had to see what you taste like.” He whispers. His words shake me to my core and I have to grab ahold of the counter to steady myself. I try to erase his words from my memory but they are etched inside. His eyes turn sad as he continues to look at me. “I upset you, didn’t I?” he asks. “I don’t understand Cory. I thought last night was just a drunken mistake. This, this isn’t right.” I stutter as I try to catch my breath. “I’m sorry,” he says running his hands through his hair. “I won’t do it again, I swear.” “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning, ok? Thanks for dinner, it was delicious.” With that said, I squeeze past him and close my eyes as I walk towards my room. Once I get inside, I lock the door and place my fingers on my lips. He knew what he was doing tonight, and God, his lips felt amazing, his kiss was toxic, but so wrong on so many levels. Does he really look at me like that or is he just lonely? I didn’t move in to be a convenience for him. I turn around and flip the light switch off before walking to the bed. I climb in and don’t even bother to mess with the covers. I lie there thinking about what happened and I need to get away. I can’t let this ruin our friendship and he needs to see that.
I turn the lamp on beside my bed and pull a notebook out of my backpack. Tears fill my eyes as I begin to write a note to him. I have it all figured out in my head as I continue to write. I’ll call Caleb’s parents in the morning and see if I can stay the night with them. Removing myself from this equation now seems to be the easiest choice and he will see that it is for the best. If I have to stay longer, I will, but I need him to realize what he’s done and what the potential consequences could be. The look in his green eyes in the kitchen burn into me as I finish the letter. I know he will be upset to read it, but I’m only doing what I think is best and I can only hope he will respect that. I finish the note and fold it into two. I set my alarm earlier than normal so I can be gone before he wakes. I grab one of my chocolate squares out of my purse and place it beside the note. Maybe if he sees this beside it, he won’t take it so harshly. Writing this note shouldn’t have hurt, but it does. I made sure I chose all my words carefully. I know the minute he reads it, he’ll be trying to get ahold of me. Thankfully, I will be at the elementary school in the morning so I won’t be able to check my phone but I am fully prepared for it to be full of messages from him when I get to it. Oh Cory, what have you done? That’s all I can think as I roll over onto my side and close my eyes. Morning will be here too soon and I almost wish it wasn’t coming.
Chapter 25 Cory I sit back at the table and drink until there isn’t a single beer left in the fridge. I knew damn good and well what I was doing and I just went with it. When she kissed me back, my damn heart fluttered but it stopped when she broke the kiss. I thought she would want this, it seemed right, but now, I’m second guessing it all. I have to talk to her in the morning and get her to forgive me. I’ll tell her whatever is necessary to keep her here. If I hadn’t drank the rest of the beer, I probably would have grabbed my keys and left, but I know better. I stand up and walk towards my room. I stop in front of her door and I touch the doorknob. I attempt to slowly turn it, but the door is locked. I can even see that the light is off so I hang my head and retreat to my room. I lie down and stare at the ceiling and all I can think about is her. *** My alarm is going off and man, I hate that sound. I reach over and turn it off groaning as I attempt to sit up. The smell of coffee hits me and my feet hit the floor. Slowly, I stalk towards the hall. I left my door open, not sure why. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I thought she may have come in but she didn’t. Her door is open and she isn’t in there. The bed is made and there are no traces of her anywhere. My feet move towards the kitchen and I hope she’s sitting at the table drinking her morning coffee, but still no sign of her. I just want to know that Sybil is ok. Mentally, I scream at myself but I stop when I see a note sitting on the table. Beside the note is one of her dark chocolate raspberry squares. I stare at the note scared to pick it up. I don’t know what it says and I’m not sure I want to know. Carefully I pick up the folded paper and begin to open it. My world seems to fall apart as I read the words: Cory, I’m not sure what’s going on. I wish I knew an easy way to deal with this, but I just don’t know. I’m trying to say this as nicely as I can. Here it goes, I don’t see how anything could ever happen with us. We’re friends, that’s it…right? I won’t be home tonight. I’m going to stay with Caleb’s parents. Please don’t come after me. I need to sort through this and you should too. You’re one of the only friends I have and don’t want this friendship to be ruined. I hope you understand. ~~ Sybil I read the words over and over again. She’s not coming back. She says she’s only going to be gone a night, but for some reason, I don’t believe that at all. I scared her off with my testosterone and now I’ve really lost everything. I crumble the note and throw it in the trashcan. The chocolate sits on the table and I leave it there. If that’s the last thing I ever have from her, I’ll keep it forever. I grab my phone and stare at it fighting the urge to text her. I know she’s at the school this morning. Every week she looks forward to being with the kids and I know she won’t have her phone on her, but I know she will be able to check it periodically. I toss my phone back down, I don’t want to sound desperate. I drink a cup of coffee before going to take a shower. I let the water wash all the pain away and then get ready for class. I hate going to school now because all I can think about is how fucked up this semester has been. School was supposed to be a safe place and Sybil managed to get tangled up with the devil. We haven’t heard from or seen Blaine since a few weeks ago. If I ever see him again, he better pray we aren’t alone. I’ll never forgive him for what he did to her. I drive to campus and begin the walk to my first class. It’s amazing how quickly things change. One minute you think things are going one way and in the blink of an eye they turn in the opposite direction and you’re being pulled away. I’m being pulled towards Sybil, but she’s running away. I don’t understand this at all. I walk into my law class and sit down waiting on the professor. I can’t concentrate at all but I manage to pass the test we’re having. I leave as soon as the test is completed and pull my phone from my pocket as I walk to my next class. I stare at her name and let the events of last night fill my head. I have to fix this, it’s my fuck up. Me: Sybil, I’m so sorry. I just want you to know that. I was wrong. I know she won’t be texting back so I stick my phone back in my pocket and pray that I can get through the rest of this day. I don’t know what I’d do if she never spoke to me again. I’ve crossed so many lines, a crossword puzzle is jealous and I’m more than aware there is no going back. *** Sybil There’s nothing more rewarding than being able to walk into this school every week. I’ve fallen in love with being around the students and I’m sad that next week is my last visit of the semester. Being here today was the best thing
I could have done. I’ve had no time to think about the kiss or anything else for that matter. I check my phone around lunch time when I finally have a moment to breathe. There’s one message from Cory, funny I expected more from him but I also know he isn’t the kind to push buttons. He’ll give me whatever space I need and I thank him for that. If he were to push me, I’d have to make a hard decision and completely walk away from him. I read his text a few times and debate on whether I should answer or not. I really don’t know what I should say, so I stick the phone back in my purse and begin to snack on my granola bar. The rest of the day goes by just at the right speed and when I head to my car, I check my phone one more time. Nothing. Before I pull out of the parking lot, I call Caleb’s mom Lillian. “Sybil, is that you? I should be fussing at you, it’s been too long!” she fusses. “It’s been a week,” I laugh. “I’m sorry, things have just been different.” Very different but I don’t elaborate. “Cory still giving you problems? You are too good to him, I’d have kicked him in the butt by now. You aren’t his mom.” She states. She knows about all the problems he’s given me with his drinking escapades. At least he hasn’t tried to bring random women into the apartment, I don’t know how the hell I would have handled that. Instead, he tries to kiss me and my lips begin tingling at the memory. “No, he’s good. I just, I wanted to see if I could come stay the night. I just need a break from him.” “I understand. All guys are difficult at some time and especially when you aren’t in a relationship with them. You can’t boss them around as easily.” She laughs. I laugh back but a little uneasily. “I’m leaving school and I already have my bag so I’ll head your way in a few minutes. Thank you, I really appreciate it.” “You must have planned this Sybil,” she chuckles. “We will see you soon.” I drive the long way to Caleb’s parent’s house. I do it so I don’t have to pass by Cory’s apartment. I should let him know when I get there so he doesn’t worry but for the life of me, I can’t understand why I am thinking that. What does it matter? The note said where I would be. I pull up and park in the same spot I always have. I look around the yard and my eyes roam towards the magnolia tree, the same tree Cory comforted me under after we read Caleb’s note. Cory. Everything comes back to Cory whether I want it to or not. It seems like my mind is trying to tell me something but I ignore it and turn away from the tree. It’s just a tree Sybil. I walk up to the front door and before I can knock, Lillian opens it and pulls me in for a hug. I hug her back tightly. We walk inside and she leads me upstairs to the spare room where I will be sleeping tonight. I set my bag down on the bed and let out a sigh. I reach into my purse for one of my chocolate squares and my fingers tingle when I touch the wrapper. All I can think about is his hand touching mine and I’m almost positive that it was pure electricity I felt. How can I feel that for him though? I never felt anything weird around him when Caleb and Megan were alive. Why now? I sit on the bed and put my head in my hands. I can’t help but feel frustrated and wonder why this is happening to me. I look up as Lillian comes walking in with a glass of tea. I gladly accept it and take a sip before setting it on the nightstand. She sits beside me on the bed and places her hand on my knee. “Something is bothering you isn’t it? You know you can talk to me and I have a feeling that’s why you’re really here.” Damn this woman is good. I look at her with worried eyes. What if she thinks I’ve gone completely off the deep end and betrayed her son? Oh my God, I have no idea why I came here. “Something is happening and I don’t know what to do.” I sheepishly admit. She looks at me with a caring smile and no sign of judgment on her face. “What is it that’s got you looking like this?” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. When I open them, I begin to slowly speak. I’m scared to look her in the eyes but that’s the only way I can get through this. “It all started not long after I moved in with Cory. He was there for me when I needed someone and sometimes it seems like we’re all that’s left of what we had. I guess it’s been slowly building and maybe I didn’t want to see it. That’s the only way I know to describe it.” I stop taking a deep breath. She grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s ok Sybil, go ahead.” I psych myself up to get ready to betray her. Tears well up in my eyes but I keep them at bay as I continue, “He looks at me differently. He doesn’t look at me like plain Sybil anymore. Last night, he, he kissed me.” She looks at me and I’m waiting to be kicked out of the house but her eyes are still kind and she doesn’t show any signs of being upset. “Sybil, sometimes we can’t control how things happen. In this situation, you think it’s wrong and you feel guilty am I right?” she asks. I nod my head yes and she continues, “Did you feel something when he kissed you?” Abruptly, I jerk my head towards her and just look at her. She sees through me, I already know. Lying isn’t going to make this any easier so I give her the best answer I can. “I think so, I mean I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to be
this way. I don’t understand. Aren’t we betraying Caleb and Megan?” “Dear, they are no longer with us and we can’t change that no matter what. The heart wants what it wants. Cory’s heart wants you. You two have been through more than most couples have been through and you’re still standing. You have the best support system and already know everything about each other. Is it possible to fall in love? Why not? You aren’t betraying anyone though and if you two want to be together, then you have my blessing.” I stare at her like she’s speaking gibberish. Instead of a speech about how wrong we are, it is the complete opposite. “He doesn’t know how I feel. I can’t tell him. I mean I couldn’t even tell him face to face I was staying here tonight. I wrote a note for him and left it on the table.” “This isn’t supposed to be easy Sybil. You both are hurting and you both can’t just rush into this. Don’t rush into telling him how you feel. Make him chase you, and at the same time chase him. When it’s meant to be, it will be. Maybe call him in a little while and let him actually know you are ok so he doesn’t worry.” My heart pounds at the idea of hearing his voice. My emotions are all over the place and I suddenly wish I were back at the apartment but I have to do this. “I will. Thank you, you know for talking to me.” “You’re welcome, Sybil. I knew something was wrong when you called but I wasn’t going to pry unless you wanted me to. You and Cory are lucky to have each other. Life has a funny way of things.” “Yeah, I see that.” I laugh. She leans in to hug me and then stands to leave the room. She shuts the door behind her and I’m alone with my thoughts and her words. I look at the time and realize Cory should be home right now. He’s home alone and I hope he can handle himself for one night.
Chapter 26 Cory This is the first time I’ve been alone in this apartment since Megan died. I’m not too sure how I feel. It’s my fault Sybil isn’t staying here tonight. I just kissed her though, it’s not like I walked around naked and completely disrespected her. I heat up a leftover steak from last night and open a beer from the new case I bought on my way home from school. I decide to eat in the living room with the TV on. I can’t take the silence in this house already and I just got home. I finish eating and clean the kitchen up. I grab the vase of flowers that I bought on my way home and place them on the table along with a bag of her favorite Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Raspberry squares. This is a corny apology but it just know she’ll love it. I wanted to write a note, but decided against it this time. I lie on the couch and settle on watching some movie on Comedy Central. I’m not in the mood to laugh but at least it’s not some chick flick. If I had to look at love right now, I’d probably break the TV. Love isn’t real, love is just bullshit. Megan loved me and I loved her but what did love do for us? Love isn’t all you need, it wasn’t enough to keep her alive. Sybil could never love me, I am nothing but her deceased fiancé’s best friend. I hate love. My mind is overloaded and my eyes begin to grow heavy. I should get up and make my way to my bed, but I don’t feel like moving. My phone buzzes and my eyes jerk towards the coffee table. No one really calls or texts me anymore. I have no one but Sybil and she’s pissed at me. I reach for the phone and pick it up. My heart stops when I see her name on the screen. I blink my eyes and read her name a few times before realizing that this is very real. I don’t understand what’s taking me so long to open this message and read it. Maybe it’s because I’m scared of what it will say. I know what it says, she’s not coming back. I fucked this up and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I draw in a deep breath and tap the message to open it. My heart hasn’t started beating again when I decide to read it: Sybil: I’m so sorry for leaving the note the way I did. I was wrong for that. Truth is, I don’t know what’s going on or what’s going to happen and it scares me. There I said it, I’m scared. I was going to call you but I just think this is better for now. I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise. I stare at her words and finally feel my heart start back up. She’s coming back. Thank you God. When she walks into the door tomorrow I don’t care, I want to grab her in my arms and hold her tight. I just want her to know she’s safe with me and that I would never hurt her. I never want to let her walk out that door upset with me ever again. Me: I should have never made you feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t help myself and I’m sorry. I’d have never forgiven myself if you didn’t come back. I never meant to feel this way about you Sybil, it just happened. A few moments pass before she replies and I hold my breath as I open it. I just spilled my feelings to her and I never meant to do it through text but she had to know. Sybil: I know. Me neither. She feels the same way? For the first time today, I smile and suddenly I can’t wait for tomorrow. I text her to have a good night and she replies right back. I’ve never had a feeling like this before and when I close my eyes I feel happy for once, like the hole in my heart has been filled. *** This has been the longest day in the history of the world, or so it seems. I can’t seem to make time pass quick enough. I survived the mundaneness that is my classes and even went to the grocery store to buy a bottle of wine and the ingredients to make lasagna. I feel completely whipped but I just want to do something nice for her to make up for my stupid mistakes. I uncork the wine and set it in the refrigerator and begin to prepare dinner. It smells amazing cooking and I can only hope it tastes just as good. I haven’t heard from her since the texts last night but she should be out of class soon. I almost light a candle but that seems to be a bit much so I decide against that idea. I’ve just pulled the lasagna from the oven and set it on the stove to cool when the doorknob turns. Sybil walks in carrying her bag and when her eyes meet mine, a faint smile appears. I smile back and reach for her bag. She slowly hands it to me and I go set it in her room. When I return, she’s standing in front of the stove looking at the lasagna. I fight the urge to wrap my arms around her waist, I just got her back. I don’t want to scare her again. She turns to face me and smiles, “This looks great, you made this?” “I did. I hope it tastes as good as it looks.” “I’m sure it does.” I reach into the cabinet and hand her a plate. I cut her a small piece and set it on her plate. I fix my plate and then set them down before filling a wine glass for her. I hear her gasp and turn to make sure she’s ok. She’s staring at the
flowers and the chocolates. “What is this Cory?” “It’s another part of my apology. I really want you to know how sorry I am.” “You remember exactly what chocolate it was?” she asks like she can’t believe it. “Well yeah, I remember everything about you.” I say. She tries to keep herself from blushing profusely but fails. She sits at the table and brings the wine glass to her lips. She looks so damn beautiful right now, I’m trying to control my urges to scoop her up. She picks her fork up and digs into the lasagna. When the first bite hits her mouth, she moans and licks her lips. God, she really needs to stop that. “This is amazing Cory. Thank you.” “Anything for you.” I say before I realize it comes out. I meant to just think it. She practically finishes the wine in the next sip she takes and when she swallows it, she looks up at me. “Why me, Cory?” I know all the reasons in my head but I don’t know if I can really say them all right now without freaking her out so instead I reply, “Why not you Sybil? You’re beautiful and I can’t help but want to be around you. You make everything better.” “Cory, I’m scared of this.” She stands to put her plate in the sink. I follow her but I don’t corner her like I did last night. “I’m scared too but what if this is how it’s supposed to be?” “I don’t know,” she replies quietly. My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m waiting for her to walk off and go to the room but she sets her hands on the counter and lets out a breath. Slowly she turns to face me again. I grab her hand and rub the top of her hand with my thumb. She doesn’t pull away and it almost looks like she’s struggling to breathe. I want to tell her not to worry, that I’m struggling too but I don’t. Instead I lean forward and press a lingering kiss on her forehead. “I’m not trying to rush anything with you. I just wanted you to know how I felt. You’re important to me Sybil and I’ll do anything I can for you.” She tilts her head up and my lips softly land on hers. I almost move back as I remember last night but her lips open and invite me in. Cautiously, I kiss her back waiting for her to show me that this is really ok. She tastes so sweet, I could kiss her and never get tired of this. She lightly moans as the kiss slowly begins to deepen. I reach around and pull her closer to me. Her chest is pressed against mine and it feels too perfect for words. I’m so glad she came back. She breaks the kiss first and her cheeks are a rosy pink. I can’t help but smile like a fool but I don’t care. She turns like this was something completely normal for us and helps me clean the kitchen. She doesn’t stop smiling even when we go sit on the couch to watch TV. I don’t try to hold her hand or sit too close to her, that one kiss was plenty to keep me happy. I told her I wouldn’t rush anything and that’s one promise I will keep. The friendship line has really been crossed and there’s no going back. *** Sybil Cory has always been nice. He’s always put himself over others but he’s so damn thoughtful. We finished dinner and cleaned up the kitchen an hour ago. I can still smell the aroma of the lasagna and even better than that, I can still taste his kiss on my lips. A yawn escapes my mouth and I quickly put my hand over to cover it. Cory lets out a small laugh and I just stare at him. Yes, we just kissed but at the same time, I still don’t know how to react to a lot of these interactions that are taking place. This is too new and although I’ve known him for years, it still almost feels like someone brand new. Maybe that’s because this part of him is brand new to me. I check the time and another yawn escapes. “Excuse me, I didn’t realize how tired I was.” “Long day at school?” he asks. “No, long night. I couldn’t sleep last night, too much on my mind.” I admit. “I understand.” He says with a smile. Of course he understands because I’m sure the exact same thing is on his mind. His hand reaches out and he places it on my shoulder. He gives it a gentle squeeze that lights me on fire in ways I wish weren’t there right now. I don’t want to feel this affected right now, not this soon. “If you’re tired, go lay down. I’m probably going to do the same in a few.” I look at him and smile. “I think I will. I’ll see you in the morning.” I stand and look back at him before walking to the room. “Goodnight, Sybil.” He looks like he wants to say something else but the words never come, so I smile and disappear into my room. I shut the door and almost lock it, but that feels unnecessary. He’s not going to come barge into this room and
sweep me off my feet. He wouldn’t do that, or would he? I strip down to my panties and change into a more comfortable t-shirt before lying under the covers. I stare at the ceiling and replay our kiss through my mind. There was something about that kiss, something possibly lifechanging. My body reignites just thinking about it and there’s a tingling sensation below that I can’t ignore. I let out a soft moan as my fingers dip below the waistband of my panties. I suddenly realize I can’t hear the noise from the TV and there’s complete silence in the apartment. I can’t let him hear me that would be so embarrassing. He’d obviously figure out that I am thinking about him. When I feel its ok, I let my fingers continue to work themselves down and I close my eyes as I begin to bring myself over the edge. I bite into the comforter to keep quiet as my body convulses. Dammit Cory, what are you doing to me? *** It’s been a week since the kiss and things have slowed down to something awkward. One day things seem fine but then I upset the balance and pull away. Just when I think it may be ok to really embrace my feelings for him, I seem to become sensible. I can see the agitation on his face sometimes but I try not to let it bother me. It’s not like I’m the only one who has pulled away. Two nights ago for example, I decided to try. I still have a hard time walking up to him and just placing my arms around his waist. He seems to be getting better at it, but I’m slowly getting the courage. I tried to place my hand on his shoulder when I stepped up behind him at the kitchen sink, but he stepped away causing my hand to fall. I felt defeated in that moment, like I couldn’t do anything to make him see I was actually trying. The tension felt so unreal, that I decided to just go sit in my room and read a book. I could hear his footsteps as he walked to his room and I swore I could hear him stop in the hall but the last sound I heard was his door shut. It’s Friday and still no real contact with him. He walks out of his room and goes straight to the coffee pot. He barely whispers good morning before fixing himself a cup. This is so frustrating. I let down all my walls to come back to this apartment, willing to attempt to give this a try and I’ve been shut down. This was a mistake. I should have never let him kiss me. I should have stayed longer with Caleb’s parents. I’d try to start a conversation but I know it’s no use. He’ll do nothing but mutter a word here and there so I stay quiet. He doesn’t even finish his coffee before his phone rings. He stares at the name on the screen before looking at me and answering. I can’t lie, I’m curious why he felt he needed to look at me first but now he’s talking and it doesn’t take long to realize he’s talking to a girl. He’s having the most casual conversation as if I’m not standing right in front of him. He’s laughing and carrying on, talking sweet. I want to gag, or go run into my room but I stay there drinking my coffee and act like he’s not affecting me. The last words I hear him say before he hangs up, feels like a knife to the chest. “I’ll see you tonight,” He has a date. I want to pry but I don’t know if it’s my business. He was just hitting on me a week ago and suddenly, he’s onto the next flavor of the week. He hangs up and acts like nothing just happened but I’m bothered by this. “Who was that?” I ask curiously. He stares at me for a minute before responding. “Her name is Natalie. I have a date tonight.” He says like it’s no big deal. I feel a lump form in my throat as I process his words. Cory has a date tonight? “Where are you going?” “Probably 80’s night. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big boy, Sybil. I may or may not be home tonight, so don’t freak out if I don’t show up.” My jaw hits the ground and anger flashes in my eyes. Did he really just say that to me? I’m already dressed for class, so I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder and head towards the door. “Whatever Cory.” I walk out pissed off at him. I’m jealous of this Natalie girl. I know I have no claim on Cory but who the hell is she to just come walk in when last week he made it seem like all he wanted was me?
Chapter 27 Cory Sybil is so hot and cold, I never know what’s going on. Just when it seems things are looking good, she pulls away and I know why. I’m not Caleb. She’ll never be happy with anyone because no one compares to Caleb. Even though he could have gotten her killed, she still holds him up high. I can’t blame her I guess, I mean he was my best friend. I officially met Natalie a few days ago on campus and she’s gorgeous. She’s got these bouncy brown curls and brown doe like eyes but she’s not Sybil. Point is, I’m killing time and I know this is a shitty way to do it. She just stormed out of the apartment. I’m surprised she didn’t slam the door on her way out. I feel like an ass but what can I do about it? She wants to be cold, I can be cold too. I can play her game. I’m just one-upping her. The day flies by and soon I’m back home getting ready to go pick up Natalie. I used to get into the whole 80’s wardrobe but tonight, I’m just wearing jeans and a white polo shirt. Sybil is sitting on the couch with her laptop in front of her working on a paper. I’m surprised she’s even here right now. She looks up at me for a minute before turning her head back to what she’s doing. As I open the door to walk out, I wait to see if she’s going to say something but she never does. I suddenly regret this decision but I keep walking towards my truck. I drive in silence until I reach Natalie’s apartment. I knock on the door and moments later she lets me in. “Hey, Cory, I’m almost ready. I just need to grab my earrings. Come on in.” I walk in and grab her hand pulling her closer for a kiss. “I’ll wait right here.” She blushes and walks quickly down the hall. I take a look around her apartment and suddenly miss my own, the one Sybil is in. I’m snapped out of my thoughts when Natalie comes bouncing out in a black and pink polka dot sweater and pink legwarmers. I can’t help but think of Megan right now and I begin to miss her. Thinking of Megan makes me think of Sybil and I quickly shove that to the back of my mind. “You ready babe?” I ask grabbing her hand. She giggles and nods her head yes. She locks up on her way out and we make our way out to the truck. She begins to talk non-stop the minute we start driving. I’m pretty sure I’ve just heard her entire life story and I couldn’t tell you anything she just said. I just smile and nod my head the entire time and she continues to talk. I can’t help but smile harder as we pull up at the bar. With all the music inside, there’s no way I will be able to hear her talk once we’re inside. I lead her to the bar and order us a round of drinks. A few drinks later, she musters up the courage to ask me to dance. Billy Idol is blasting on the dance floor and people are everywhere. So many memories flood around me and I smile because all of them are good. My beer goggles are on and I let my inhibitions go as I pull her closer to me. Songs switch and we continue to dance. She looks up at me and gives me a devilish grin before leaning in to kiss me. I kiss her back greedily, and she moans into my mouth. I abruptly end the kiss when the DJ begins to talk. “Sybil, Sybil, Sybil…damn girl. Long time no see.” I look over and see her standing there in the spotlight looking so beautiful. I almost forget Natalie is standing in front of me with her arms around my waist. Sybil yells something back towards the DJ and he just laughs. He threatens to play her song and she just smiles and shakes her head. ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna comes on and she twirls alone on the dance floor before stepping up by the DJ booth. She takes the microphone and begins to sing to the crowd. Everyone sings along with her and God she looks like an angel up there. “Wow, she’s really good.” Natalie yells into my ear. “I guess so,” I say when I really want to say more. I don’t know if I’m upset or not that Sybil came here tonight. I know she’s here alone and that worries me, although it shouldn’t. I grab ahold of Natalie’s hand and lead her up to the bar. I need to keep the drinks coming, especially with Sybil here tonight. *** Sybil Not long after Cory walked out the door, I decided I was going to go to 80’s night too. I don’t want to sit here alone and I don’t want him making any stupid decisions with some girl he doesn’t know. I tease my hair and put on my tight pink sweater with my black miniskirt. I can play his game too. I finish applying my makeup and grab my keys. I head out the door with a smile on my face. Oh sweet sabotage.
When I arrive at the bar, the music is blasting loudly. Billy Idol is on and I make my way up to the bar and order a beer. An eerie feeling hits me and I turn to scan the crowd. I have the oddest feeling someone is watching me and I have a feeling it’s Cory and I haven’t seen him yet. The bartender slides the beer to me and I pick it up feeling extra cautious of my surroundings. What was I thinking coming here alone? I grab the beer and carry it onto the dance floor with me. I’m trying to keep a low profile but the DJ immediately notices me and calls me out. Well, if Cory hasn’t seen me yet, he knows I’m here now. The DJ plays my song and I begin to dance alone but that won’t do. I jump up to meet the DJ and take the microphone and begin to sing along despite the fact that feeling is following me. Everyone sings with me, like always and I can’t help but smile knowing he’s out there somewhere watching me. The song ends and I curtsy before leaving the stage. A few guys approach offering to buy me a drink but I politely decline. I finish my beer and pay for my own. I don’t trust random people to buy me a beer. I’m standing at the bar waiting for the bartender to wait on me, when I hear his voice. I look a few people down and there he is. Standing next to Natalie with his hand on her back. I scrunch up my nose and continue to wait patiently. I continue to look around, still feeling uncomfortable and I look back towards him to find his eyes on me. The bartender places my new beer in front of me and I pick it up with a smile on my face. He looks like he doesn’t know what he should do so he just gawks at me. I only stick around a little longer by the bar before I return to the dance floor. A guy comes up to me asking if I want to dance. He’s really hot, with his blue eyes and blonde hair. I smile and accept his offer and he immediately pulls me to him as the song changes and we slow dance. “What’s your name?” he asks against my ear. “I’m Sybil and you are?” “I’m Jake. Nice to meet you Sybil.” “Likewise.” I say as my eyes roam the crowd. Not even a few feet away are Cory and Natalie. His eyes are on me the entire time he dances with her. She looks like she’s talking his ear off ,but I guarantee he hears nothing. I look away from him and laugh obnoxiously at something Jake just said. I look back as the song changes again and Cory and Natalie are nowhere to be found. Hmm, maybe I’ve made my point. I decide once this song ends, I’ll head home. I’m tired and I feel I’ve proven my point. Jake leans in and tells me something and I can’t help but blush. Just as I’m about to reply, I’m jerked away. “What the hell?” I say as I look up to meet Cory’s eyes. “What the hell are you doing Cory?” “No Sybil, what the hell are you doing?” he retorts. “I’m dancing, you know like you were doing with Natalie” I spit out. “Are you jealous Sybil?” “Hell no I’m not, now let me go.” I say trying to jerk free of him. “I don’t want to let you go,” he says quietly. I have a feeling I know what he’s saying. “You already did Cory or you wouldn’t be here with her.” I reply. “You are jealous. I knew it.” “Fuck you, Cory,” I say jerking hard enough to free myself for good. “I deserve fun too. I have a life.” He leans in, I can smell the liquor on his breath. “I wouldn’t fuck you Sybil, but I would make you feel good inside and out. You’d never want to be with anyone else ever again.” His words turn me on but I quickly remember I’m upset with him so I brush his words off. “Cory, you’re drunk. Let me bring you home.” “No I’m fine Sybil. Enjoy your night.” He whispers before walking off. I don’t even look for Jake, I walk past Cory and Natalie and walk out the doors. I just want to go home now. I try to block out most of the night when I get back to the apartment. I take a shower and then go lie in bed. His words that I brushed off inside the bar haunt me. I can’t believe he said those things. Do I believe that he could actually do that? Oh God, yes I do. I think of his words one last time before I let myself fall asleep. *** I remember Cory saying he may not be home so I didn’t put any pants on as I step out of my room. My t-shirt is long enough that my ass isn’t hanging out. I scratch my head and yawn as I walk into the kitchen. My eyes grow wide and I try not to gag when I see Natalie sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee out of my coffee cup. She looks up and sees me standing there. She suddenly looks a little embarrassed, like she’s been caught. I want to speak up and say something but Cory comes walking out of the room and stands behind me. “Oh, good morning Sybil,” he says with a menacing tone. I want to turn around and slap him for being disrespectful bringing her into this apartment. Technically this is his apartment and I have no say but I would never have done this if it were mine. I do turn around but I place my hand
up to his face and feel his scruffy skin. He hasn’t shaved yet but it looks amazing on him. My hand moves to wrap around his neck and I lean forward planting a kiss under his ear. “I missed you last night.” His body stiffens and I can’t help but laugh. Natalie suddenly stands and looks at us like we’ve lost our minds. She barely gets two words out before telling Cory she’ll just walk to her place and she walks briskly out the door. Cory pulls back and glares at me. “What was that for? I don’t understand you sometimes, Sybil.” “What don’t you understand Cory?” I challenge. “You. I don’t understand you. I told you how I felt and I thought we were on the same page but you keep pushing away. It’s because I’m not Caleb isn’t it?” he says throwing his hands in the air. “You think that’s what this is Cory? Well you’re wrong. I have tried and it got me nowhere with you.” He grabs my hands and pushes me back against the counter. My heart begins racing in my chest and he leans forward, so close I could almost taste him. “I want you, Sybil. I shouldn’t but I do. I want you so damn bad, but I don’t want you unless I can have all of you.” I stare at him and so many emotions flood through me, I think I might faint if he wasn’t standing so close. I let his words sink in and suddenly, I feel like I need to get away. I continue to stare at him with scared eyes and whisper, “I need to go.” He steps back watching me as I run to the room to change and grab my keys before I run out the door.
Chapter 28 Cory Natalie was never supposed to come home with me. That wasn’t the plan. Truth is, we were both drunk and I just came straight home without thinking. I didn’t even sleep with her. I couldn’t do that knowing Sybil was just a door over and she’s who I really wanted to be with. Morning was a little awkward with Natalie lying beside me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful, but she’s not for me. I hated myself when I saw Sybil standing in the kitchen looking at Natalie. Natalie looked uncomfortable, but I really didn’t care about her. Sybil is in nothing but a shirt and damn I can’t take my eyes off her no matter how hard I try. She makes it worse when she rubs my face and tells me she missed me last night. She’s playing this game well. Natalie quickly mumbles she’ll walk home and leaves before I can offer her a ride. I don’t get Sybil. I don’t understand why she pushes me away. I mean I pretty much do understand. Neither of us thought things would end up this way but here we are struggling with these insane feelings. She was my best friend’s girl and now I want her to be mine. We talk for a few minutes and I can’t help but push her against the counter and really tell her how much I want her. I wait for her to respond and say she wants me too but she pushes away. Again. She runs to change clothes and then runs out the door. I know where she’s going. It’s the only place she goes when things get rough. She has no one to talk to anymore. Megan was her only friend. She’s going to the cemetery. I run my hands through my hair and let out an agitated sigh. Maybe I’m coming on too strong. I sit around waiting for her to come back and when she doesn’t I start to get worried. I text her but she doesn’t reply. It’s been almost three hours and still no reply so I get in my truck and drive down to the cemetery. Her car isn’t there. I get down and walk towards Caleb’s grave. I wonder deep down how he would feel about this. He trusted me with her when he died and I’ve held my promise. No one would have ever guessed at the time though that Megan would die only months later and Sybil and I would be alone to pick up the pieces. “Hey Caleb,” I say to the cold grave. “I miss you man. I wish I could talk to you to figure out what the hell to do. Although, if you were alive we wouldn’t be having this talk. If you see Megan, will you tell her I miss her? Watch over her up there man. Things got fucked up so fast and I tried to control them. I tried to save Sybil but it seems we’re saving each other. I would never make a move on your girl you know that, but God I don’t know where these feelings came from. Maybe it’s because we’re all each other has and we’ve been a rock for one another. I wish there was some way I could know I have your blessing to really, truly care for her. I’d never hurt her Caleb. I’d make sure she was more than taken care of. Anyway, I won’t talk much longer. I just wanted you to know we miss you. I love you brother.” I wipe a tear from my cheek and turn away as I walk back to my truck. I check my phone and there’s nothing. Fuck. I have no clue what to do. After thinking about it, I decide to call Caleb’s dad. If anyone knows where she is, it may be them. “Hello?” “Hey David, its Cory.” “Ah, Cory. I’m assuming you’re looking for Sybil, am I right?” he asks. “Yes, sir. She left earlier a little upset and I haven’t seen or heard from her. I’m a little worried.” I admit to him. “She’s fine son. She’s here sitting under the magnolia tree. You two have both had it rough, just give her time. I know you must think you’re doing wrong but I couldn’t think of anything better. You two know each other better than anyone else.” “I’m just glad she’s ok. Do you mind if I come by and talk to her?” “Come talk to her. You two need each other.” “Thank you, sir.” I reply graciously. “You’re welcome.” He chuckles before ending the call. I drive faster than I should but I don’t care, I need to see her. I need to fix this with us now. I pull up and see her lying on the grass under the tree reading a book. The wind blows her hair across her face and she gently tucks the strands behind her ear. God, I need to be beside her now. I step out of the truck and begin to walk across the grass. She stops reading and looks up at me. Neither of us say a word as I sit beside her. The silence is a bit awkward, but she soon sits up and looks me in the eyes. “I didn’t sleep with her Sybil.” I say. “Why are you telling me that? You’re a grown man Cory, do what you want.” She whispers.
“I’m telling you that because I want you to know. Nothing happened.” “Ok.” She says and the silence begins again. I lay back on the grass beside her and stare at the clouds. The sun is peeking out allowing it to be warm but not quite hot. I think I can see now why being under this tree is so relaxing for her. I reach into my pocket and pull out one of her chocolates. I hold the pink wrapper in my hand, extending it out to her. She looks at me and I wish I could read her mind because it’s a minute before she speaks. “Chocolate can’t fix everything, Cory.” “Are you saying you don’t want it?” I ask. “I didn’t say that. Give it to me.” And just like that she takes it from me and unwraps it. She slowly opens her mouth to taste the chocolate and lets out a small moan when the raspberry filling hits her tongue. “Why did you come here?” she asks quietly. “I was worried about you. I texted you and you didn’t reply.” “I went to the cemetery but I didn’t stay long. Since last night, I’ve had this crazy feeling like someone is watching me and I felt it at the cemetery, so I decided to come here. I needed to think.” “About what? And what do you mean you feel like someone’s watching you. Why didn’t you say something?” I ask. “I need to think about us and I just said something.” she says looking me in the eyes. I’m scared to ask what she’s thinking so I don’t push the subject. “I know you said you didn’t sleep with her but it still hurts you brought her back with you.” “She was never supposed to come back with me. You have to believe that.” I say with sorrow in my eyes. “I don’t know what to believe, Cory. I want to believe so much but I just don’t know.” “What if we’re meant to be together, Sybil?” “Cory, go home. Please.” “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” I say. She sighs and closes her eyes. When she reopens them, she stares at me. I can see the fear in her eyes and I want to tell her everything will be ok. I really want to believe that myself. “Cory,” she begins but I place my finger on her lips and she stops. “I’m not rushing you. Don’t think that at all. I just wanted to talk to you, Syb. I needed you to know nothing happened with Natalie.” “You can stop saying her name now.” She grimaces. “Ok,” I laugh. “Never again, I promise.” A smile appears on her face and I could grab her face and kiss her but I don’t. She looks at me and continues to smile. “I need to tell you something, Sybil,” I whisper. She looks at me carefully as I begin to sort how I’m supposed to tell her this. “I’ve felt this way about you for a long time. Megan found out, she saw right through me and I-I couldn’t stop. We argued right before she died and I have to live with that.” Sybil stares at me, her jaw slightly on the floor. “Cory, what are you saying? I mean I hear what you are saying but— but I don’t get it.” “I like you, Sybil, I like you more than I should but I like you. I want to be there for you.” My heart rate increases as I wait for her to say something. Anything. She stares at me a moment longer before finally speaking up. “I-I like you too.” “I’m not rushing you though, not ever Sybil. I just had to get that off my chest.” With a small smile on her face, she whispers, “I’m ready to go home now.” Home. That one word sounds perfect but I know I can’t get too excited about that just yet. Not until she fully lets me in. *** Sybil I can’t lie, my heart began to flutter as he walked up to me and he keeps surprising me by bringing my favorite chocolate to me. It’s the little things like this that make my heart beat for Cory, whether I like it or not. It should have felt awkward for him to be sitting here with me under this tree but it didn’t. I feel a little better knowing he didn’t sleep with her but it still doesn’t heal the wounds from seeing her there. I agree to go back to the apartment with him but that’s it. He said he’s not rushing anything, well I like to believe him. I follow his truck back to the apartment and when I walk up to the door, he opens it for me. I walk in first with him right behind me. I turn around to face him and take a deep breath as I look at just how sexy he is standing there with his scruffy face and messy hair. I think about how lucky I am to have him caring about me.
I sat out at the cemetery earlier in silence. I stayed for as long as I could before I left. I can’t shake the feeling I had last night and I had the same feeling inside the cemetery. I looked around but saw nothing but headstones and trees. I just needed to be around Caleb. I miss him so much. I hate not having anyone to talk to about all these surfacing feelings for Cory. I have no friends anymore and it feels awkward talking to Caleb’s mom, although she’s given me her blessing. I hear my phone buzz and I pull it out of my pocket to see who it is. No one really texts me besides Cory and I’m standing right beside him. My face turns ashen and my jaw hits the ground. My hands begin shaking and the phone nearly falls out of my hands. Why? I don’t understand. Cory takes notice of my changed demeanor and grabs the phone from me. His face turns red and a vein pops out in his neck. This isn’t good at all. Blaine: Sybil, I can’t stop thinking about you and how things ended. I’m so sorry. Will you call me sometime please? No. No. No. This isn’t happening. I haven’t heard from him since he left and all of a sudden he decides it’s ok to text me. It’s not ok. I want to cry, I want to scream but I can’t do anything. Cory turns to look at me, hurt plastered all over his face. He’s holding my phone so tightly, I’m almost scared he will break it in two. His grip loosens as he sets it on the table. “Tell me you aren’t going to answer this.” He asks. “N-no. I’m not.” I stammer. “Has he been texting you?” “No, he hasn’t. This is the first time, I swear.” I say with tears begging to fall. I don’t know why. “I don’t know what to say about this, Sybil. I thought you were done with him.” “I am, Cory! I was done with him the minute he left, you have to believe me.” “You said you had a weird feeling someone was following you, is it him?” he asks. “How am I supposed to know? Would you like me to ask?” I answer. Cory glares at me and I know I said the wrong thing. He has to know that I would never answer Blaine. I never want to talk to him again after all he put me through. I was beginning to finally trust him and that trust blew away like dust in the wind. I’m standing frustrated and angry that Cory is getting angry with me. None of this is my fault. I’ve done nothing wrong. My heart is pounding right now and deep down, I believe Blaine has been following me but I don’t admit that out loud. “I warned him, Sybil. I told him to stay away from you.” He points at me. I grab my phone angrily off the counter and walk straight to my room slamming the door once I’m inside. I throw the phone onto the bed. It skims across the comforter and lands on the carpet with a thud. It could break now for all I care. I don’t understand why this is happening now. Blaine should have been long gone, not trying to reappear in my life.
Chapter 29 Cory The door to her room slams and I hear a thud. I’m scared she may have tripped and hurt herself with how mad she was. I run to her door and jerk it open. I’m glad she didn’t lock it. When I open the door my heart breaks with what I see. She’s curled up on the bed, lying there with tear stained cheeks. I let out a sigh and slowly approach her. She doesn’t acknowledge that I’m in the room, not even when I sit beside her on the bed. Her breathing is uneven as she tries to keep her composure. Instinctively, I brush her hair behind her ears and it’s then that she finally looks at me. I suddenly have no idea what to say to her, I feel like an ass for saying what I did out there but when it comes to her I will always worry, especially if Blaine is in town still. He was supposed to be gone, but something tells me he’s still here. If I see him, he will deeply regret that. She looks at me for a moment longer before turning her eyes away from me. She’s normally so strong, I hate to see her in a weak moment. I grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She clearly wants to be alone so I will respect her wish. I drop her hand and stand to my feet. I begin to walk to the door when she barely whispers. “Cory,” I turn to look at her still in the same position. “Don’t leave me.” I let out a sigh as I turn around and walk back towards her. She sits up and when I sit on the bed, she lays her head in my lap. This reminds me of when I held her right after Caleb died but I didn’t feel anything for her then. If this is her way now of letting me in, I’ll take it. “I’m not going anywhere Sybil.” I assure her. I slowly rub her head and she doesn’t say another word. She’s so fragile now and all because that asshole texted her. I know she’s scared of him, after all he put her through. She’d been fragile enough and five months later he completely wrecked her and I’m here doing the best I can to keep her together. “Do you miss Megan?” she asks quietly. I’m taken back by her words but I’m quick to reply. “Of course I do. I miss her like you miss Caleb.” She sighs and the silence returns. I can’t see her face clearly because of how she’s laying. She moves once trying to get comfortable and I move closer to the headboard so I can lie against it. Her head is back on my lap and I hope she can’t hear my heart beating. The silence continues but I don’t mind it. I close my eyes letting myself relax and I can feel her shuffle around once more. I never open my eyes and she must think I’m asleep. She settles back down and it sounds like her breathing is finally starting to even out. When she falls asleep, I’ll inch her off of me and go to my bed. I’m not going to take advantage of her in this vulnerable situation. “We can’t be together Cory.” I hear her whisper. Her words tear me apart but I never let her know I heard them. I don’t believe those words at all, there’s no way I can. I end up falling asleep before she does and I never leave the room. My mind is telling me to get up and go but I’m so tired, that I don’t budge. *** Sybil My eyes open abruptly and I realize I’m still lying on Cory’s lap. Geez, what time is it? I look over at my clock and it’s a quarter til six in the morning. Oh damn, we’ve been sleeping for what seems like forever. Who cares if it’s possibly the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while, I remember myself whispering to him that we couldn’t be together. He was sleeping so I know he didn’t hear me. Parts of me want to believe we could but the more I think about it, I don’t think we could. Maybe I should stop thinking and just live in the moment. He stirs a little underneath me. I look over at him sleeping and he looks so peaceful, almost like my guardian angel. I want to get up and get out of the room before he wakes but I can’t quit looking at him. His shirt is raised just enough for me to see his skin. The moon is shining through the blinds and it’s shining enough to where I can see his stomach muscles. He looks perfectly sculpted and I can’t help but wonder what the rest looks like. My hand moves to his stomach and I slide it slowly across his skin. He moans in his sleep and I hurry and move my hand. His arm wraps instinctively around me and I can’t find the heart to move it away so I lay my head back down and fall back asleep. *** I’m standing in front of two doors. One is painted black and the other white. There’s a sinister look about the black one and the doorknob burns my hand. Clearly, I shouldn’t open this one. I look towards the white one and can’t help but smile. Is my salvation waiting behind that door? Is my every dream going to come true? My every prayer answered? I’m
curious, I’m like the cat and we all know curiosity killed the cat. I have to know what’s behind the black door, whether I get burned or not. I draw in a deep breath and bite the inside of my cheek as I turn the doorknob of the black door. Shit, that hurts. I look into the eyes of Blaine, the devil himself and scream as I try to shut the door. The door won’t shut though and he begins to walk through. Oh no, what have I done? He’s walking towards me and instinctively, I run for the white door and fling the door open only to see my angel, Cory reaching his hand out for me. I grab onto him and jump through the door shutting it quickly before the devil can enter. I sit up abruptly covered in sweat. Cory jumps up beside me and sees me a few seconds away from having a panic attack. I can’t catch my breath and I feel icky. My sheets are soaked and I’m highly embarrassed. Even with all the sweat on me, I throw myself into his arms and cling to him like I did in my dream. What the hell was that even about? Is this some kind of sign? I don’t know but I’m freaked out. “Babe, are you ok?” he asks. He just called me babe. I should be looking at him crazy but I’m swooning on the inside. Get ahold of yourself. “I-I think so. I had a dream and…” “ Shhh, I’ve got you. It’s ok. You don’t have to talk about it.” I’m glad he says that because I’m in no way ready to tell him I dreamt about both him and Blaine. “I need a shower,” I murmur against his skin. He nods in understanding and rubs my back before I find the strength to get up off the bed. I grab a change of clothes before heading towards the door. I take one good look and it’s then I realize, every door in this apartment is white. The dreams comes flooding back into my memory and I push it out as I reach confidently for the doorknob. I shower quickly, making sure I’m clean. When I step out of the bathroom, I smell coffee so I venture into the kitchen. Cory hands me a cup and I smile at him. “Did you ever think we’d survive this semester?” he asks. I’m glad he changed the subject and I’m even gladder this isn’t awkward. “Not really, but it’s almost over and then we have one semester left. Shit. I hope I get into the school I want to student teach in.” “Don’t sweat it Syb, you will.” I smile at him fully appreciating his support. He grabs a box of pancake mix out of the cabinet and a bowl. My stomach growls just looking at the box. He hums to himself as he begins to prepare the batter. Once the batter is mixed, he takes the spoon and wipes it on my nose. I scrunch up my nose immediately and stick my tongue out to catch the little bit that drips off. I stare at him trying not to laugh and when he least suspects it, I dip my hand into the batter and smear it across his face. We soon become involved in a batter war and we’re both covered. We’re laughing and for the first time in a long time, I feel carefree. There goes the pancake idea. He grabs me by the waist and I squeal as he sets me on the counter. He looks incredibly sexy, especially covered in pancake batter. He stares into my eyes before slowly leaning forward. He stops like he’s waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I can’t speak, I can barely even nod my head, how crazy is this? My head moves a little closer and he takes that as his sign as he lightly brushes his lips against mine. His lips taste like a sweet batter that I never want to end. I slowly open my mouth allowing him to kiss me deeper. I moan as our tongues intertwine, gently massaging one another. This kiss is filled with passion, it’s filled with want and need. My body responds, wanting him in every way I can possibly have him. I want to feel his bare chest against mine and I wonder what it would feel like to have him buried inside me. I’m so lost in my own lustful thoughts, I almost don’t notice when he breaks the kiss. I’m left trying to catch my breath, feeling caught up in a whirlwind I’m not sure I want to break out of. “Shit, you must be pissed at me. You just took a shower.” He chuckles softly. Truth is, I could never be mad at him. Not after that kiss. I just smile and I feel my cheeks burning up. We’ve kissed before but this time, it feels different. I feel more vulnerable around him but in a good way. “I can take another,” I say a little timidly. He grabs me by my waist once again, but this time setting me on the floor. I feel sticky from the batter and I can’t wait to wash it off. His hands linger on my waist and my body liquefies at his touch. I feel like I could rival a tomato right now, I’ve never felt my face burn up this much around a guy and I was madly in love with Caleb. “Go get cleaned up. Let’s go somewhere today.” He says. I look at him funny, wondering what he has up his sleeve. I take my second shower of the day a little quicker this time and get ready for whatever it is he wants to do while he takes his shower. I’ve never been more relieved to be clean again. I never realized that pancake batter could get so messy. God forgive me, but I’d let that man put whatever he wants on me.
Chapter 30 Cory I wait patiently for her to take her shower. I need one too but we only have one bathroom. She walks out looking beautiful even though her hair isn’t dry yet. She smiles at me and tells me she can blow dry her hair in her room. I step in to the shower and finish as quickly as I can. When I come out, she’s already dressed and her hair is fixed. She smiles at me and walks towards the couch. I follow her and sit next to her trying to control myself. “I have an idea,” I tell her. “What do you have in mind?” she says. I look at her and grin trying to contain my excitement. “Let’s go bowling today.” She looks at me and laughs and then her laughter fades when she realizes I’m serious. “I’ve never really been bowling. I suck at it.” “So what. It’ll be fun. Trust me.” I say hoping she will decide to go. She studies my face and then lets out a sigh. “Ok, I’ll go but you can’t laugh at me.” “I can’t promise you that, babe.” There I go calling her babe again. I don’t mean to, it just slips out. She blushes profusely and begins to stand. I stand beside her and smile. “If you laugh at me, I’m walking home.” She says. “I’m not going to laugh at you. Come on, let’s go. I’ll drive.” I reach for her hand and she stares at me for a moment before placing hers in mine. I lead her out to the truck and open her door. She climbs in and puts her seatbelt on. I shut the door and then head to my side. The truck roars to life and I turn down the radio so she doesn’t go deaf. She immediately bursts out laughing and I glare in her direction. “Is something funny?” I ask. “Were you seriously listening to The Beastie Boys?” she asks. “Sybil, don’t make me throw you out the truck. Don’t judge, ok. Everyone loves their Licensed to Ill album.” I say with a straight face. She rolls her eyes and laughs out loud. “Wow Cory, I never would have pegged you for a Beastie Boys fan.” “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Sybil. I even like Bruno Mars. Are you going to laugh at me for that too?” She doubles over laughing and I almost have the thought to pull the truck over but I keep driving. “Wow, Bruno Mars, huh? Tell me do you like Britney Spears too?” I glare at her and then turn my head back to the road. “It’s on Sybil. I’m going to whoop your ass in bowling and laugh the entire time.” “Yeah, ok Cory. I’m not scared of you. Tell me what your favorite Britney song is?” she jokes. “Screw you, Sybil. And I’d prefer Christina Aguilera over Britney any day.” “Please stop before I pee my pants!” she begs laughing harder than before. I love her laugh. It brings light to any situation and it just shows that she’s getting more comfortable with me. I’d do anything in my power to keep her smiling and laughing like this all the time. “What? You asked! I’m just telling you. Don’t judge me, you probably listen to Justin Bieber.” “Hell no, I prefer One Direction.” She says with a smirk. “Dork,” I say as I pull into the bowling alley. She leans over and punches me in the arm and I kinda have to wince in pain. She hits hard. I park the truck and walk to open her door. As she steps out, I can’t help but laugh and she glares at me. “What’s your favorite One Direction song?” She hits me again and I bust out laughing. I turn to walk towards the entrance and she follows close behind me. I pay for a few games and we get our shoes. She follows me close to pick out her ball. She settles on an eight pound lime green ball. I set up our screen and then look at her. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get us a pitcher of beer. Maybe this way you won’t suck so badly.” She glares at me and crosses her arms over her chest. “Whatever, asshole.” “Chill Syb, I’ll be right back.” Moments later, I return with a pitcher of beer and two cups. I pour hers first and hand it to her. She reluctantly takes a few sips before looking at the screen. Her name is first. She takes a deep breath before walking up to grab her ball. She walks up to the line and does her best to look like a pro. Unfortunately for her, the ball goes straight to the gutter.
Before I can say anything, she turns and glares at me. “Don’t you say a word.” I laugh as she goes straight for her cup and downs the rest. She pours herself another cup and then drinks half of that. I shake my head and laugh as I pick up my blue ball and walk up to the line. I let the ball slide off my fingers and it rolls smoothly down the middle knocking down every single pin. I just got a strike. I smile widely as I turn to face her. She downs the other half of her beer and refills the cup for a third time. She stands and brushes past me, just enough to send chills through my body. She grabs her ball again and steps back up to the line. She lets the ball roll and manages to knock down four pins. She almost gets a spare but misses two of the pins. I have to fight my laughter as she looks at me pissed. Three games in and five pitchers of beer later, I’m feeling amazing. Sybil is almost drunk. I can tell because her cheeks are rosy red and she’s laughing uncontrollably at everything. So far she’s gotten lucky and made one strike and the rest have been mostly gutter balls. She downs the cup of beer in front of her and gets ready to refill but the pitcher is empty. She frowns and pushes her lips out as she begins to pout. “Cory, we’re out of beer. How can I beat you with no beer?” she asks with the sexiest voice. “Have you been watching the scoreboard, babe? Because I’m pretty sure you haven’t won a single game.” I laugh. “You’re wrong, babe, I won at least one game.” “No, Sybil, you haven’t.” “Check your eyes, Cory. My score is higher than yours.” “I think you’re drunk.” I say laughing. “Maybe I am.” She grins. “Maybe I just want to win.” “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” I laugh at her. “You’re mean.” She pouts. “I want to win.” “Sybil, you actually have to make it down the lane to knock down some pins.” She has one more turn and walks confidently up to the line and she lets the ball go. It rolls perfectly down the middle and I see her hands fly up to her mouth. It’s going straight towards the pins and in one swift movement all the pins fall down. She turns to face me wearing the biggest grin on her face. Before I can blink, she runs right up to me and jumps into my arms. I catch her and her legs wrap around my waist. “I did it, Cory! I beat you!” she says right before her lips land on mine. I don’t have any time to think about what just happened, I just kiss her back long and hard. When she breaks the kiss, she looks me dead in the eyes. “Let’s go home.” I want to argue that we haven’t finished the game but I’d be a damn fool to tell her no. We turn in our shoes and walk straight to the truck. *** Sybil My brain is fuzzy but seems to be working just right. Cory probably shouldn’t be driving, but he gets us home safely. I laugh as he opens the door for me and scoops me right into his arms. I expect him to set me on my feet when we get inside but he sets me on the counter. The same counter we seem to be in front of every time something happens. He gazes at me with hooded eyes and his lips softly land on mine. I kiss him back like he’s the only man left on this earth, like he’s all I need to survive. He lets out a moan as I reach around to pull him closer. I need to feel him closer. My hands move under his shirt and I can feel his toned, muscular body. The same toned chest I felt the night before, oh man he is amazing. I tug the fabric of the shirt and he moves his hands from me to lift the shirt over his head. This is the first time I’ve seen him without a shirt and I feel like my jaw is on the ground. Cory is pure perfection. I run my hands down his chest before bringing my lips back to his. My body is on fire for him. I want to feel him touch my skin. I want to feel everything he has to offer. Cory puts his hands under my shirt and looks at me waiting for his permission. I give him a lazy grin and before I know what’s hit me, he scoops me up and carries me to his bedroom. My shirt is taken off and thrown onto the floor and my bra soon follows. I’m lying exposed in front of Cory and yet in this moment, I don’t feel ashamed like I thought I may. He gazes upon me with hungry eyes and licks his lips before feathering kisses down my neck. When he lands by my breasts, he sucks in a deep breath before taking my nipple into his mouth. I moan as he sucks and caresses it in his mouth. God, I feel like I may orgasm just from this. He hasn’t even touched me and I’m already losing control. My hand slides down to his jeans and I begin to fumble with the zipper. He raises his body enough for me to unzip them and soon after, the button is undone too. His pants slide down and I reach to take his cock in my hand. Gently, I stroke him up and down. He moves from my breast and comes back to my mouth. I take him greedily, kissing him long and hard. His hand caresses my breast
before moving down to my stomach. I suck my breath in waiting and when his hand dips to my waistband, I feel every nerve in my body ignite. Oh my god, I want this so bad. I buck my hips upward as he continues to kiss me. My pants unbutton quickly and soon meet his on the floor. He breaks the kiss and looks at me with need in his eyes. “I need to taste you, sweet Sybil.” I don’t say anything, I just nod my head. Cory feathers kisses down my body before stopping by my thighs. He plants a kiss on each thigh before assaulting my clit. He sucks it and my hips buck forward as I try to control my body. My breathing is out of control as he continues to rock my world. He inserts one finger and then another as he brings me to climax. My whole body shudders around his fingers as I come and I’m left breathless. He looks up at me as he kisses back up to my mouth. I almost don’t kiss him but I can’t resist him. “I want you to see how sweet you taste,” he says before softly kissing my lips. I can feel his cock between my legs and my body aches to feel him. “I need to feel you Cory, please.” “Are you sure Sybil?” he asks carefully. “We’ve already crossed so many lines. I need to you know you really want this.” “I want you Cory.” I say confidently. He crushes his lips against mine once more before reaching into his nightstand for a condom. He slides it onto his cock and it’s in this moment, I finally look at him. He’s huge. How the hell is that going to fit in me? “Please go slow, Cory.” I plead. “I’m not going to hurt you Sybil.” He says and I believe him. His tip presses into me and slowly he slides inside. I moan as he slides deeper and when he’s fully inside, he slowly begins to move. Slowly, he thrusts in and out. God he feels amazing. My nerves are on end and I’m positive I’ve never felt this way before. “God Cory, you feel so good.” That’s all I have to moan for him to thrust harder and my body responds immediately to him. I match him thrust for thrust as he brings my body to orgasm after orgasm. “I’m about to come, Sybil,” he pants. I nod at him giving him the go-ahead. He already knows I’ve come at least twice but I’m nearing my third and my body begins to convulse around his cock and he thrusts one last time into me. Cory collapses onto me breathing heavily. “God Sybil, that was amazing.” “It was, wasn’t it?” I ask. We lay there a little longer taking each other in. I never thought I’d be able to feel so good again and I was just proven wrong. Cory and I crossed the ultimate line and there’s no going back.
Chapter 31 Cory Our bodies stay intertwined as we both eventually fall asleep. This isn’t how I imagined this to happen between us but damn it was amazing. Her breath evens out as she succumbs to a peaceful sleep. I look at her and kiss her head before closing my eyes. She said she wanted this, I believe her. The sun peers through the window and a groan escapes my lips. I don’t know what time it is, but I don’t care. Sybil is still laying on my chest but soon begins to stir. Slowly she raises her head up. She takes one look at me and then at herself naked beside me and her eyes grow wide. Fuck, this isn’t good. She grabs the sheet and throws it over her. She moves so quickly, she nearly loses her balance. I reach for her, helping to steady her and she blushes as she stares back at my chest. Her actions are proving what I feared. She’s regretting last night. “Cory, what did we do?” she asks timidly. “Tell me you remember Sybil, please.” “No, no, I do remember. This feels awkward right now.” She says. No, I don’t want her feeling that way at all but I don’t know what to say or do to change that. She stands quickly and walks out the room with my sheet before I can say anything to stop her. The bathroom door shuts and the shower comes on. I drag myself out of bed and put on a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I don’t regret a moment of last night and I wish she didn’t either. I walk out to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. She hasn’t emerged by the time the coffee is finished so I take it upon myself to fix her cup and I set one of her chocolates beside her cup. I sit down in front of my laptop and begin to work on a paper for one of my finals. I’m about a page in when I finally hear her footsteps. I look up to see her standing beside the table. Her eyes are on the cup of coffee and the chocolate. She mutters a thank you and picks up the coffee. She still looks troubled and I hate myself for that. “I shouldn’t have overreacted Cory. I’m sorry.” She says finally. “No, don’t you be sorry. I never would have gone through with it if I’d known you would be upset.” “I told you I wanted it though.” She states. Thank God she remembers. I was so scared for a moment that she didn’t remember anything. “What scares me is, I’ve never felt more alive in my whole life.” I stop and stare at her taking her words in. Fuck, if only I could tell her I feel the same but I don’t speak. She blushes and goes back to drinking her coffee. I close the laptop and push it to the side. I can’t concentrate with her words playing over and over again in my head. Her coffee cup is set softly on the table and she walks over to me. I freeze not knowing what to expect from her. She stops beside me and places her hand on my cheek. Turning to face her, I see the look in her eyes. She’s scared and I understand that. “Cory, I know this changes things.” “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way Sybil,” I interrupt her. “Please, don’t shut down on me. I know things have gone completely crazy but I can’t help the way I feel about you.” Her eyes widen as I pull her onto my lap. She tenses for a moment but relaxes when I give her a gentle squeeze. “What’s supposed to happen now, Cory? I mean obviously we can’t change what happened. I just want to know if you regret it.” She says quietly. I cup her face and she stares at me. “Sybil, I don’t regret anything about it. If anything, I do regret us being drunk when it happened. I would never ever take advantage of you.” “I know,” she smiles leaning down to kiss my cheek. “Thanks for the coffee by the way and the chocolate.” “Of course. Do you have any plans for the day?” I ask. “No, just going to finish some things up. Why?” “I was going to go see my mom today. It’s been too long and I’m overdue for a visit. She’s probably going to fuss at me. You know you can come right? You don’t have to but I wanted to ask.” “Oh,” she says. “I think I’ll just stay here, Cor. Thank you though.” I smile, “Your loss Sybil. She makes a mean buttermilk pie.” “Then, you better bring me a piece back.” She says with a smile on her face. There’s that smile that I’m getting so accustomed to. “Says who?” I ask playfully. “Me,” she says planting a kiss on my cheek. I can’t resist her for anything. Of course I’ll bring her a piece. Hell, I’d bring her the whole damn pie if I could.
“And you are?” “I’m Sybil Hayes and you Cory Fuselier, you like me.” “I do like you. You’re a smart girl. Sure you don’t want to come?” “I’m sure.” she says pulling me back in for a long, hard kiss. *** Sybil Cory left thirty minutes ago to drive to his parents’ house. His family lives only a few minutes away but since he hasn’t been over in a while, I’m assuming he’ll be gone all day. I sorta miss having him around. I finally manage to pull myself off the couch and decide to clean up a little bit. On the mantle, there’s a picture frame that’s knocked over. Carefully, I pick it up and nearly drop it when I look at the picture. Inside the frame is a picture of Megan. She’s smiling and it looks like she’s smiling directly at me. Tears spring forward but I don’t let them fall. I try my best to smile back at the picture before setting it back face down. Oh Megan, I hope you really don’t hate me now. None of this was ever supposed to happen. But I remember talking to Caleb’s mom and her telling me that what’s done is done and there’s nothing we can do to bring them back. I try my best to shake her picture out of my mind as I dust around the frame. I can almost imagine her and Cory arguing over his so-called feelings for me and it makes me sad. Once I’m satisfied with how everything looks, I change my clothes and decide to get out of the house. A little shopping will do me good. I drive to the mall and park in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, everyone has the exact same idea I do, seeing as this place is packed. I wander aimlessly through the mall only entering a few stores. I’m shoe shopping when I get that same eerie feeling that someone is watching me. I set the pair of heels down carefully and slowly turn around, observing everyone around me. No one looks out of place and there seems to be nothing worth being alarmed over. Then why do I feel this way? I shake the feeling and pick up the shoes again, deciding I want them. I pay and walk quickly out of the store, not looking back. I haven’t heard from Cory since he left this morning and I’m thinking about texting him until my phone goes off. In my state of panic, I nearly jump when I hear it. Although I tried to shake the feeling, it’s still sitting in the back of my mind. Cory: Mom has pie. Told you she would and damn it’s so good. Me: Well, I have shoes and they look so good. Looks like we’re tied. Cory: No way babe, pie beats shoes any day. Me: Yeah, ok. I laugh as I tuck the phone back into my pocket. I walk through the mall a little more and end up with a few pairs of pants and some cute tops for when I start student teaching. My hands are so full of bags, I decide that I can now head back home. I stuff everything into the backseat of my car and climb in. There’s a paper on my windshield. Memories, no nightmares, of the night I found the note demanding the money Caleb owed hit me and I’m scared to get out and grab it. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I tell myself, it’s probably just some sort of advertisement Sybil. Get a grip! I sigh, open my door, and step out to grab the paper before getting back into the car. Staring at the folded piece of paper, I’m terrified to see what it has to say. One, two, three…slowly unfolding the paper, hitting the lock button on my doors, I know I have to get out of here, now. I start the car and back up a little too quickly. Thankfully, no one is around me. Peeling out of the parking lot, I don’t stop until I am back inside the apartment. I don’t even bother bringing the bags inside, they can wait until later…when Cory is here. Cory, dammit why did he leave for the day and why didn’t I just go with him? I’m scared as hell and suddenly I don’t feel as safe as I did before. I grab the note from my pocket and open it again with trembling hands. This isn’t happening. I’m trying to stay away from you, but I can’t Sybil. Please. Blaine was inside the mall. Blaine has been everywhere, watching me. He knows what I drive now and the idea is extremely unsettling. I want to call Cory or at least text him but he hasn’t seen his mom and dad in a while and I don’t want him thinking he has to run back to take care of me. It’s just a note. It’s not like I saw Blaine, although he saw me. Holding the note in my hand, I grab a box of matches before walking over to the sink. With one quick strike on the matchbox, I set the note on fire and then put it out with water. It’s probably for the best pretending this never happened. I spend the rest of the day lying on the couch thinking about that stupid note. I think about it until my eyes can no longer stay open and I fall asleep. In my sleep, I’m plagued by Blaine’s memory. Every fucked up thing he did, every lie he told. They all come back to me clear as day and I hate that. I hate him. He came into my life with his stupid
looks and his stupid lies and I fell for it all. Every. Single. Bit. There’s a knock at the door and my eyes open darting towards it. Who the hell could it be? Maybe Cory’s back already and his hands are full. Smiling, I stand and walk to the door. After unlocking it, I pull the doorknob and I feel the color drain from my face. In a quick attempt to slam the door shut, Blaine’s hand stops it and practically rips it from my grip. Once he’s inside, he closes and locks the door. Whimpering, I step back and look for the closest object to throw at him. He moves quickly seeing the look on my face. He knows I’m getting ready to scream. His hand suddenly covers my mouth as tears begin to stream down my face. “Sybil, don’t scream. I won’t hurt you.” He whispers into my ear. Won’t hurt me? He already has so his words mean nothing to me. There is no trust there at all to make any of this ok. His breath smells of stale liquor as he pushes his body against mine. Please God, make this stop. Please make this all a nightmare. My eyes close and when they reopen, sadly I’m brought back to this fucked up reality. “You got my note, I saw you get it. Why won’t you talk to me?” He won’t remove his hand so I can answer him. He wouldn’t get an answer though, he’d get nothing but an earful of my blood-curling scream. “I see you and Cory have wasted no time getting cozy. I’ll admit, I’m pretty damn jealous. I thought we had something going, Sybil. I wanted to make you see I wasn’t the bad guy, but you wouldn’t give me the chance. I kept you safe from everything. I helped buy you time to make sure you were ok when I could have just come in and did the job I was supposed to do. I risked my life too you know? But you didn’t care. In the end, you ran back into Cory’s arms. That must have been nice to finally do with his girlfriend out of the way. I saved your life though, Sybil. I saved you taking you away for that night so you wouldn’t be the one who died. None of that means shit to you. You won’t even acknowledge me and now look what you’ve done to me.” What made him think there was ever anything between us? So what we worked together and shared a few kisses and he fucked me, literally and figuratively. He made me smile. But now, he does nothing but makes me cringe. He was and will always be the enemy. There’s enough room where I can breathe between his hand and my mouth. I need to do something, I have to get him away from me so I can get help. My mouth opens a little more as I pretend to take a deep breath. In one quick movement, my mouth latches down on his hand and he yells as he rips it away. His hand retaliates as it meets my cheek harshly. “You stupid bitch, you really don’t think do you? I came here to make everything up to you and this is what you do to me?” “Get the hell out of here, Blaine. Cory will be here soon and he-he will..” “He’ll what? There’s nothing he can do because you’ll be gone. You’re coming with me and we’re going to get back to where we were before everything got all fucked up. So run along and be a good little girl and pack your bags. Don’t even bother leaving that fucker a note, he deserves it for taking what’s mine.” “I’m not going anywhere with you. There’s nothing between us and never will be. I can never trust you again, ever. I’m not yours. You-you lied to me and you used me.” I say with a wavering voice. “And by the way, you smell like a drunk.” “Yeah, well I’m not the only one that’s lying so remember that.” “What the hell are you talking about?” “You’re lying about how you felt about me.” He says with a fucked up grin on his face. I close my eyes trying to get his image out of my mind. I never want to go back to reliving what my body once felt for him. Never again. His hand grabs onto my arm tightly as he jerks me closer to him. Wincing in pain, my eyes close. Please let someone save me.
Chapter 32 Cory I’m a grown man and I can’t lie to my mom to save my life. She knew somewhat of Megan, although Megan’s parents didn’t know about me. She did the motherly thing and asked how everything was going and I had to come clean about Sybil. She looked shocked at first but then sat me down and gave me a talk. The talk pretty much consisted of her asking why I didn’t bring her with me. Mom fixed a few pieces of pie and two plates of food for me to bring home. Dad made me promise I’ll bring her next time and not to wait as long to come back home again. There really is no excuse, seeing as how they live so close. Things just have been so crazy and all I want is to be around Sybil. It completely sucked being away from her today. Things are finally moving in the right direction for us and I couldn’t be happier. I’m like a damn kid again. I hug them both before I climb into my truck to head home. I try to call Sybil but she doesn’t answer. My first instinct is to be worried but I’m sure she’s busy right now. When I finally get back to the apartment, I see her car and I admit I’m relieved. I worry too much sometimes. I can’t help it though, not with everything we’ve been through in the past few months. I unlock the door and I can faintly hear the TV. As the door closes, the sound of whimpering fills my ears. Cautiously, I turn around and look. Alarms go off in my head, something is wrong. I turn to look towards the living room and there is Sybil crying while Blaine holds her against him. How the fuck did he get in here? The plates of food fall from my hands and crash to the floor. Blaine turns to see me running towards him and his bloodshot eyes widen. “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” “I came to get back what’s mine.” He says. My fist connects with his face and his grip on Sybil loosens. She sinks to the floor automatically clenching her chest as she tries to regain control of her breathing. I want so badly to hold her right now but this asshole is inside my apartment and if he hurt her, then he’s a dead man. “She isn’t yours. She never was. She’s mine. Now I’m going to give you two seconds to get out of my fucking apartment.” I say through gritted teeth. He tries to swing at me but one quick step to the side is all it takes for him to miss. I get ready to hit him again when Sybil’s cries fill my ears. “He isn’t worth it Cory, please.” She’s right. This motherfucker isn’t worth any of our time. He’s already ruined so much for the two of us. “Get the fuck out, Blaine. You’re lucky she’s here or you wouldn’t be alive. Get out of town and never contact her again. I mean it.” Blaine looks down at her and she quickly puts her head down. “Have it your way, Sybil. You’ll regret this.” “I already do,” she says. “I regret everything with you. You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.” He tries to step towards her but I push him back. “You don’t get to touch her. You don’t get to talk to her. This is your last chance to get out of my apartment.” He pushes me back with a grin on his face. There’s never been a grin I’ve wanted to slap off someone’s face like I do his. My hands wrap around his neck and his body hits the wall with a thud. “Is this funny to you? Is what you did to her a game?” He doesn’t respond but then my grip is tight enough he probably can’t breathe. I don’t feel bad about that at all. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect her from you and if that means taking every fucking useless breath from your body, then I will.” The sound of footsteps fill my ears and I look back to see a taller, huskier man enter my apartment. Sybil’s eyes fill with fear and she scrambles to hide behind the couch. “Who the hell are you?” I ask still holding onto Blaine’s neck. He eyes shift like he doesn’t want to exactly tell me but his face suddenly pops into my mind. He’s another one of the goons who works with Blaine. “I’m here for this asshole.” He says pointing at Blaine. “I don’t want any trouble.” My eyes roam over the big guy as my grip loosens on Blaine and he begins coughing to catch his breath. “Get your stupid ass up. You fucking knew better than to come here.” The guy tells Blaine. He hardly gives him time to stand before he yanks him by the arm. “He won’t be bothering ya’ll anymore.” And just like that, they leave. My blood is boiling, pure adrenaline still running through my veins. I run over to the door and lock every damn lock there is. Sybil is still whimpering behind the couch. In an instant, I’m beside her pulling her close to me. “ Shh, it’s ok. I’ve got you babe. He’s gone. Are you ok?” Her eyes meet mine and my heart breaks into two. Her eyes are bloodshot from crying and her cheeks are soaked
from the tears. “I was so scared, Cory. He-he said he was going to take me away.” Dammit. What the fuck was I thinking leaving her alone? I know what I was thinking. He hasn’t been around and I thought we were safe but she wasn’t. She needed me and I wasn’t there. “I shouldn’t have left you. This is my fault.” “It’s not your fault Cory,” she whispers. My eyes grow wide as the hand mark on her cheek comes into view. “Did he do this to you?” She nods her head yes as her eyes close. When she reopens them, she whispers, “His hand was over my mouth and I bit him. He got mad and he-he slapped me.” “Fuck,” I growl. If I had seen this sooner, he would have definitely been a dead man. “It’s ok now, Sybil. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” Carefully picking her up, I sit her on the couch. She immediately clings to me, holding onto me for dear life. “I’m so glad you’re here. That-that other guy, I saw him in the cemetery once. He scared me. He was part of it wasn’t he?” She whispers. “He was.” I say with a lump in my throat. Sybil quietly sobs against my chest. My eyes close and I silently pray for this day to end and almost be erased from our memory. Gently, I stroke her hair and hold her tight. This isn’t how the hell I planned this day to go. I thought once Blaine was gone that would be the end but hopefully now this is finally it. She doesn’t know but having her here means everything to me right now. Seeing people who caused us both nothing but hurt, opened all kinds of wounds we still aren’t ready to deal with, but at least we have each other. *** Sybil I cling to Cory for what seems like forever. When I finally feel I can peel myself away, I do so slowly. My heart is still racing from earlier and this sinking feeling hits that I may not get over this as quickly as I hoped I would. This moment quickly reminds me just how much we need each other. We each have our own demons and we have to stick together because if we don’t, then we are doomed. My eyes meet the mess in the kitchen and a frown immediately forms. “Oh, no. Cory let me clean that.” “I got it,” he says giving me a small smile. “You just sit here and relax.” He knows I’m stubborn. The minute he stands, I’m right behind him helping. He doesn’t fuss at me or say anything at all. With the two of us cleaning, it takes no time and the kitchen is soon good as new. “I’m so sorry.” I mutter. Cory turns and cups my chin as he leans in planting a soft kiss on my lips. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t you dare let him make you feel like any of this was your fault. Promise me, you won’t.” “I promise.” And I fully intend to keep that promise. Cory grabs one of my chocolates off the counter and grabs us each a beer. Because of little things like this, he is beginning to steal my heart. He hands me both the beer and the chocolate and I smile accepting them. I walk back towards the couch with him right behind me. He sits and I sit right beside him snuggling close like before. There is no TV noise, just the sound of us breathing. Carefully, I unwrap the chocolate and bring it to my lips. Cory looks at me just smiling. I take the rest of the chocolate and offer it to him. His lips part slightly as my hand moves closer to his mouth. He bites into the chocolate, barely nipping my fingers. Sparks ignite with the small touch but I push them aside. I’m not wanting to initiate anything, especially after this day. There’s nothing more I want than for him to touch me but this doesn’t seem right. “Those things get better every time.” He says. “Not as good as mom’s pie but it’ll have to do.” “I’m kinda bummed I didn’t get the pie.” I frown. “There’s always next time. Mom and Dad both said you should come over next time.” “You talked about me?” I ask curiously. “All good things, I promise. Mom was just asking questions, so I answered her.” He says. Pressing the beer bottle to my lips, I let the liquid slide down. Exhaustion overtakes me and I find myself yawning. Cory looks at me and pulls me closer. I could definitely get used to this. “If you’re tired, go lie down Syb. I know today was a lot.” “I don’t want to be alone right now.” I don’t want to be alone. I’m scared when I close my eyes that I’ll see Blaine and have to relive the whole afternoon. Just thinking of it brings tears to my eyes. Never in my life have I been so scared. I would have fought him kicking and screaming if he seriously dared to try and take me from this apartment. I never belonged to him and I never
will. Hearing Cory say I was his, brought little flutters to my stomach but I was too scared in the moment to truly accept them. It’s true though, I am Cory’s and he is mine. “I understand.” He says. I sit beside him for what seems like forever before I finally fall asleep. When I wake in the morning, I’m in my bed and Cory is lying beside me on top of the covers holding onto me. In this moment, I’ve never felt safer in the arms of someone. Never have I ever thought I’d truly feel safe in Cory’s arms, but I do. Maybe that’s right, maybe it’s wrong. He looks so peaceful in his sleep and when I attempt to move, he pulls me closer. My body relaxes a little more as I lean into him. I lie there silently in his arms not wanting to be anywhere else. *** Blaine My head is spinning as Dante drags me to his truck. With ease he tosses my body onto the seat and my shoulder immediately slump forward. The contents of my stomach move around in an unforgiving manner and I cough before beginning to dry heave. “Cut that shit out, don’t fucking puke in my truck.” He says in a menacing tone. My eyes dart to him, glaring. “Fuck you.” “You were a hard man to find, Blaine. I knew you were around here somewhere.” “I came to get what was mine.” “You’re fucking sick in the head. You’re lucky I don’t just blow your brains out now and end your pathetic life.” “Thanks for the encouraging words,” I say resting my head in my hands. “You need a damn psychiatrist. We’re getting out of town for the second time in case you haven’t noticed. Once again, I’m stuck babysitting you which royally pisses me off.” He points at his waist and give me a sadistic smile. His gun sits in a holster attached to his jeans. I run my hands through my hair and stare out the window. “Look, I fucked up ok? I’m over it. I had too much to drink and I’m thinking a little clearer now. No more disappearing acts. Did Landon put you up to this?” He laughs and turns to face me for a split second. “He just sent me to get you. It’s my decision whether you live or not. You fucked this up all the way around for everyone but for some fucking reason unknown to man, I’m feeling generous but I promise you this is the last time.” His words drip with truth and I begin to thank my lucky stars that he hasn’t reached for the gun and ended my life as he casually drives down the road. I don’t know what I expected Sybil to do when she saw me. I know I fucked it all up, I don’t need Dante to tell me that. She looked scared to death to see me, guess I really can’t blame her. Maybe I should have never come back. I should have stayed in Arkansas where we were but I couldn’t help myself. She’s moved on. She’s happy and it’s time for me to do the same thing. All I will ever have left of her is a memory.
Chapter 33 Cory A month has passed since the last Blaine incident and nothing else has happened since. I’m not sure what the big guy meant when he said we wouldn’t be seeing him again, but I’m just glad he hasn’t shown his face again. Slowly, Sybil has started coming around again. Seeing him wasn’t easy for her and especially the way he did it. The semester is finally over and we have one left. Well, I still have grad school but that’s a different story. Sybil will begin student teaching this fall and she’s very excited. I’ve been helping her get things together but more than anything, I vow to give her a great summer before she starts. She’s finally graduating next semester and I want everything to be perfect for her. She deserves it. After the Blaine incident, she began taking self-defense classes. I fully supported her decision and helped sign her up. Every week she comes home and shows me what she learned. Several times, that’s lead to either me being hurt or us ending up in the bedroom. She’s hell on wheels and I love her for it. I do love her. I know it was inevitable, bound to happen at any time but I don’t want to scare her when I finally have her happy and where I want her. When the time is right, then she’ll know. Until then, I keep those feelings locked up tight. She left this morning for her class and out of habit, I decide to clean the apartment up. I open the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water and when the door closes, my eyes spot the picture of her. She’s laughing in the picture at this ridiculous couple at 80’s night a week ago. Her face was so priceless, I couldn’t help but snap the picture. She insisted I print it up and now it is magnetized to the fridge. My cock instantly hardens just seeing the picture, I can’t help what she does to me. My hand attempts to adjust myself but it just won’t have it. My eyes glance towards the clock. She shouldn’t be home for another few minutes. That gives me time to take care of this problem. I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on, the water runs over me as my hand grabs onto my cock. Slowly I begin to stroke it while her face invades my mind. Stroking harder and harder, I begin to pant as my balls tighten and I explode all over the shower wall. The water continues to run over my body until I can’t take it anymore. Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and there stands Sybil with her back to me. She’s setting a few things onto the bed, looks like maybe her clothes for after her shower. Her headphones are in her ears and she’s singing along to whatever it is she’s listening to. Her hips sway to the beat and damn here I am getting rock hard again. She turns and suddenly blushes seeing me standing and watching her with nothing but my towel and a smirk on my face. “You’re home early. What were you listening to? You were pretty into it.” I say with a half-smile. “Class let out a little early and I stopped by the cemetery for a minute. Glad I could be entertaining to you. What have you been doing?” she asks knowing full and well what I had to be doing. “Taking a shower, obviously, silly. What do you want to do today? It’s summer break. We can do whatever you want.” I say extending my arms out to show her the sky’s the limit. We can do whatever she wants. I would have liked to have gone to the cemetery with her but I fully understand that’s something she likes to do on her own from time to time. After the Blaine incident, she spent a while down there attempting to make her peace. Her poor heart is so battered and torn, I want to make it all better for her. If she wants to go to the waterpark, we can go. Hell, I’d even go shopping with her and I hate shopping. The towel begins to slip and before I can grab it, it slides down hitting the floor leaving me in all my glory. Her face blushes a little as she begins to laugh. I should probably be embarrassed or hurry to cover up but I don’t. Casually, I bend down to pick the towel off the ground. It’s not like we haven’t been intimate with one another, of course we have. She bends down at the same time and our eyes meet when our hands touch. The towel drops again and she takes in a deep breath. Her eyes are shining like the sun outside and a small smile forms on her lips. “Sorry,” she whispers. “I was just trying to help.” “Don’t be sorry. I should have held onto it better but then I didn’t think you’d be home so soon. I swear, I wasn’t trying to lure you in.” “You don’t have to lure me in,” she says. “You’ve already caught me.” Oh hell, she can’t just say things like that and expect me not to react. My lips crash into hers fiercely. Her arms wrap around my neck as the kiss slowly deepens, and in one swift step I’m standing with her legs wrapped around my waist. Gently, her body hits the mattress and the kiss breaks long enough for her to tug at the hem of her shirt. My eyes wander over her body as the shirt hits the floor, she is sheer perfection. Her chest rises and falls with every
breath she takes and I know she is all I will ever want or need. “I want you Cory,” that’s all I need to hear and I’m suddenly an animal on the attack. With the flick of my wrist, her bra is gone and her breast is in my mouth. She moans as she reaches down to grasp me. Her hand begins to slide up and down bringing nothing but sheer pleasure. This is way better than myself alone in the shower. Tugging at the waist of her pants, she raises up to help remove them. My fingers dip below to feel her and I groan at how wet she is. “Is this all for me baby?” I ask. She can’t speak, she simply nods her head as her body responds to my touch. I need to be inside her now. I need to feel her. I roll over to grab a condom and she plants me on my back. She’s straddling me and it’s hot as hell. She leans forward, her hair splaying across my chest. She plants a soft kiss on my lips before trailing kisses down my chest. Fuck, what is she doing to me? Her mouth continues downward and I nearly come on myself when her lips wrap around the head of my cock. Moaning, I lie there as she takes me in her mouth. This feels fucking incredible and I’m trying not to blow my load just yet. She moans softly as she goes deeper continuing to suck. Her hand is pumping as she continues to bring me to ecstasy. “Sybil, oh fuck. I’m about to come.” I say through gritted teeth. Her mouth is purely magic and I feel like I’m in a whole other world. My hands find her head and I slightly grab ahold of her hair as she continues her assault on me. My balls tighten and I close my eyes as she drinks every ounce of me. My breathing is all over the place and I’m trying to get it together when she comes back up to straddle me again. Reaching into the nightstand, I grab a condom and slide it on. I take her by the hips and lower her onto my even more throbbing cock. The need to be inside her has now become a necessity. She tilts her head back moaning as every inch of me fills her. Slowly she moves up and down, her perfect breasts moving with her. My hand reaches up to grab ahold of them as I thrust into her. Her breathing begins to increase, I know she’s getting close. She increases her speed completely rocking my world and before she convulses around me, she calls my name out. Holy hell, I never thought my name could sound so damn good. Her body collapses onto mine and I kiss her head. “Damn, I don’t think I want to leave the apartment anymore now.” I say out of breath. “What, are you wore out?” she says equally out of breath. I laugh pulling her closer. “That was amazing.” “Yeah,” she says. “Being with you, it gets easier and easier.” My eyes shift towards hers and my head cocks to the side. “What do you mean, Syb?” “No, it’s nothing bad. I just, in the beginning after you know I lost Caleb and you lost Megan, I really thought you were just trying to use me because you were lonely.” She sees the expression on my face but continues, “Let me finish, Cory. I thought it was wrong at first, that we were ultimately betraying everyone but in reality we’ve found each other. We’ve saved each other from all the chaos that was taking us under. I never imagined in a million years I would this way around you. You make me feel safe and wanted and you take me as I am.” Hearing her say all that brings a pleasant feeling to me. “I know things were never supposed to be like this. Life is fucked up, we both know that more than anyone. I wouldn’t want anyone but you around for me. There is no one for me but you.” “Really now? If anything I’d think that you were in— “ she stops. I know what she’s thinking but I’m glad she stopped. I’m not ready to have that conversation with her as much as I’d love to. Caleb hasn’t even been gone for a year yet. It’s close but not quite there. I never meant to fall so hard this fast but I am and I can’t stop it. *** Sybil I love my self-defense class. I love coming back and showing Cory what I’ve learned and I love even more when it ends up with us naked. Warm fuzzies invade my body any time Cory is around but I’m getting better at concealing it. If he’s going to want me, I want him to want me. Want me like he wants no one else, not want me because I’m all that’s there. If there were any question in my mind, those questions left after the last Blaine encounter. Cory has always been attentive to me, especially after Caleb’s death. He even showed more attention to the point Megan suspected and he told her how he felt towards me. My eyes have been opened though and I see it more now. I see how he looks at me, he treats me like I’m the best thing that’s ever walked the planet Earth. I felt my head get a little woozy when his towel fell, but dear God it was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. My body feels better than it ever has when he touches me. When he’s inside me, I lose all inhibitions and am no longer plagued by the fact that we possibly were once betraying our loved ones who aren’t even alive anymore. Should we have moved on this quickly? I don’t know. I think about that all the time but it is what it is. Lying beside him on the bed, I begin to tell him how being with him gets easier and easier. He listens attentively as I
explain and he when he tells me he wants no one else but me, those warm fuzzies are back. “Really now? If anything I’d think you were in— “ and I stop. I almost said I’d think he was in love with me, but love is a word I couldn’t dare speak right now. I’m not sure if I can even say I love him. Sure, I feel amazing when I’m around him. He’s the best rock I could ever have to lean on but love is such a strong word. It’s a word I’ve only ever used with Caleb and I won’t say it until I know it’s just right. He looks at me and I wish to hell I could read his expression. His lips curve into a smile and I hold my breath wondering what he’s going to say. “You’d think what? I was deeply head over heels for you? Well believe it, because I am.” Whew, saved! I can definitely go along with this. My smile matches his as I lean forward to kiss him. “I’m head over heels for you too.” *** I miss having a girlfriend to talk to. I have no one to gripe to when my period is being a bitch or when Cory just does something stupid to agitate me. He doesn’t do it often, but it’s stupid things like leaving his dirty clothes in the middle of the floor. We rarely argue and it’s complete bliss. It’s been a week since the day we were supposed to get out of the house but stayed in because of his towel falling to the floor. The menstrual cramps are out of this world and my hormones have completely taken over my body. This is miserable. Nothing he says makes me feel better and I suddenly feel like everything makes me want to cry. It doesn’t help that I’m going through the pictures on my phone and there are pictures of Caleb and I and then ones with Megan. Fucking shit. I hate this. Just when it seems to get easier, I’m slapped in the face. It’s my fault though, I’m the one who decided to take a trip down memory lane. Without a care, I toss the phone onto the table. The contraption slides clear off the table hitting the floor with a thud. The one year anniversary of Caleb’s death is getting closer and I hate all the emotions that come with that. If I’m feeling this way now, I hate to see what happens when the time actually comes. “Whoa, you ok? Your phone just flew. It’s not broken or anything is it?” “Who gives a shit, Cory?” I say as I roll my eyes. “Hey, what did I say?” he asks softly. He tries to touch me but guilt that I haven’t felt in forever washes over me. “Cory, just stop please. I’m hormonal and I just, I want to be alone.” He throws his hands up in surrender. “Ok, I’m out of your way. Let me at least grab your phone for you.” I shudder as I think of the picture of Caleb that’s going to be on the screen. Cory frowns as he stares at his best friend and slowly sets my phone down. “You miss him, I know Sybil it’s ok.” “Yeah,” I scoff. “We think this is ok but what would he really think if he seriously knew you were fucking me? Do you realize he’s been almost gone a year?” “Excuse me? Wow, you are hormonal.” I shoot daggers at him and stalk off. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. If you weren’t ready to be with me, you should have said something. I told you I wasn’t trying to rush you, it wasn’t just me you know. And yes, I realize it every minute of every fucking day.” I turn to face him and point my finger. “We’re together? Funny, I didn’t remember you asking me to be your girlfriend. We’re just two people fucking each other trying to make sense in a fucked up world.” “I’m not arguing with you, Sybil. You think you’re just a fuck to me? If I wanted just a fuck I wouldn’t be here, I’d be out in the bars getting all the pussy I want. But I don’t want just any pussy, I want you and you damn well know that. Now you warned me you were hormonal and I should have just let it be. Sybil, we’ve come so far please don’t start shutting down on me.” he pleads. “I’m sorry Cor,” I suddenly say softly pulling a complete one eighty. “I had no right to say those things to you. I’m just lonely. I have no girl friends to talk to anymore and sometimes things just stay bottled up.” “Do you want this with me, Sybil? Do you want to be mine because I want to be yours but only if you want it.” He asks softly. “Cory, I know we’re technically together,” I begin. “Technically nothing. Do you want to officially be my girlfriend? By the way, I’m sorry this sounds so corny.” Laughter comes from me and I officially feel crazy. Not even a few minutes ago I was jumping down his throat and here I am close to happy tears. “I would love that Cory.” Before I can say or do anything else, he scoops me up and sets me on the table. “I’m glad that’s settled, girlfriend.” His lips lightly brush mine and just like that, I’m happy again. Damn hormones.
Chapter 34 Cory Caleb’s dad called me this morning and invited me to go fishing. This is something that Caleb and I always did in the summertime, so the gesture is appreciated more than he could ever imagine. Sybil decides she will go hang out with Caleb’s mom and the two of them will most likely end up buying out a few stores before the day is over with. She may have started out like a damn firecracker this morning, but the makeup sex was fucking incredible. Who knew being angry could lead to some of the best sex of my life? We walk outside after I securely lock the door. She climbs into the truck and as I pull out of the parking space, my hand reaches over and her fingers link with mine. She smiles the cutest damn smile I’ve ever seen and I thank my lucky stars for her. As we pull up to Caleb’s parents’ house, I notice her gaze shifts to the tree. She lets out a heavy breath as she climbs out of the truck. Like expected, she walks right up to the tree and runs her hand along the bark. The wind blows through her hair and she turns back and locks eyes with me. Gently, she smiles and makes her way back towards me. My hand extends out to hers and she takes it. Hand in hand we walk up to the front door. Lillian opens the door and smiles. “There you two are. Cory, he’s out back getting his poles and tackle together.” “Thanks Mrs. Thomas.” I say pulling her in for a hug. I give Sybil’s hand a gentle squeeze as I lean forward to kiss her head. “Have fun today.” “I will, you too.” She says and I leave the two women to get ready to do what they do best. I round the corner of the house to see David wearing his fishing hat. He’s setting his poles in the bed of his truck and finalizing the preparations in his tackle box. He turns to see me walking up and smiles. “Hey son, ready to get out fished?” “Yes sir, although I hope you don’t mind when I catch more than you.” I smile shaking his hand. His grip is always firm yet tight. A handshake tells you a lot about a man. His handshake is genuine. “You enjoying the summer so far?” he asks. “Trying to. I have one more semester and then grad school. I know things are about to get heavy.” His eyes wander around before coming back to look at me. “You will do just fine and of course I hope you will still consider coming to the firm once you graduate. There will always be a spot for you.” I never doubted that, but I wasn’t going to bring it up. Hearing him say it brings a smile to my face. “Thank you sir, that means a lot to me.” “You’re a hard worker and no doubt in my mind, you’ll make a terrific lawyer.” He claps his hand on my shoulder and smiles. “Let’s get going, we have fish to catch. Maybe we can fry some up for our women when we get back.” Hearing him say our women feels odd. I know things with Sybil and I are great but we don’t exactly flaunt what we are around Caleb’s parents even though we have their blessing. Yeah, I’ve just asked her to be my girlfriend today but they knew we had a thing going. “Let’s get going Mr. T,” I say climbing into the truck. The drive begins to one of his favorite fishing holes. It’s set back in the woods so not many people know where it is. Once the truck is parked, I help him unload the poles and we bait the lines before setting our chairs up on the bank. It’s the perfect day. The sun is out but there are just enough clouds around to keep the sun from beating down on us. I cast my line out just before he does. Satisfied with the perfect spot, it’s now time to sit and wait for something to bite. I’m in my own little world until Mr. Thomas breaks the silence. “So, how are things going with you and Sybil? I’m assuming you two haven’t killed each other yet.” I chuckle, if he only knew about this morning. “We’re both still alive, still have all our limbs. I wasn’t sure I’d live this morning though. She was a bit hormonal and bit my freaking head off.” “Women,” he laughs shaking his head. “They drive us crazy but we can’t live without them.” “You are very right about that. I know the one year is coming up and that’s bothering her. Hell, it bothers me and I just hope she doesn’t push me away.” “It’s very tough on all of us son, but having each other is all we can do. She may push you away but all you can do is be there for her and she’ll find her way back to you. Caleb would be happy to know you’re taking care of her.” “Would he really? I love her David. I’m in love with her but I haven’t told her and I won’t until I know she’s truly
ready. With everything she’s been through, she’s not ready. I may not even be ready. I just can’t help but sometimes think that this wasn’t supposed to happen. Would he honestly be happy?” I feel like a pansy for admitting all this to my best friend’s dad but he shows no signs of judgment as he listens to me talk. “Cory, I’ve watched you grow up alongside Caleb. You two were inseparable. In life, we can never tell what’s going to happen. If you love her like you say you do, you don’t have to come out and tell her, afraid it will scare her. No one knows what you’re going through besides the two of you. All you can do is show her through your actions and hopefully she reciprocates. Unfortunately, we will never know what Caleb would really be ok with, but he didn’t really leave us a choice in the matter did he? That was my only son and I miss him every day and if I could, I would have fixed this for him.” “So, it’s not wrong to love her?” I ask timidly. “You can’t help who you love.” He replies. “How’s her self-defense classes going?” I nearly choke trying not to laugh when he asks that. Once my throat is cleared, I respond, “She’s getting tough, I seem to become her practice dummy when she gets home. I’d hate to be the person who pisses her off.” He chuckles before suddenly staring at his line. “Come to daddy,” he beckons quietly. He continues to watch his line and suddenly begins to reel his line in. He smiles at his victory, “Game on son, I just caught the first fish and you have nothing.” I laugh as I reel my line in. The bait is gone so I put more bait on the hook and send it back out into the water. *** Sybil I haven’t been to the mall in weeks, not since Blaine showed back up. Thankfully, he hasn’t since. Lillian and I walk around store to store feeding our shopping addiction like its candy. We stop and walk to the food court to grab a drink. Shopping really brings out the thirst in me. We’re standing in line in front of The Great American Cookie Company, when she turns to me. “How are things with Cory?” This was a conversation I knew was coming but hoped it would wait until later. I can’t avoid it though, so I turn to face her. “It’s going really good. He asked me to be his girlfriend this morning.” I smile. “He did? I’m assuming you said yes?” she asks. My face flushes a little, it still feels odd to talk about this with her but then she is the only person I have to talk to. “I did. It feels weird sometimes to think about it but he makes me happy. He takes care of me and I couldn’t imagine going through any of this without him. Sometimes, it feels wrong but I’m trying to believe it’s right.” We each order a cookie and a drink and walk to sit at a table. “All I want is for you to be happy, Sybil. It’s ok to want it to be right. You and I have had this talk before. It’s so good to see you actually smiling again.” “It feels great to smile.” I say taking a bite of my cookie. She doesn’t pry anymore and I don’t sit there and swoon about Cory. No matter how giddy he makes me, I just don’t. My mind wanders to Cory though and I wonder if he’s having a good time fishing. The thought of the sun against his skin sends shivers up my spine. I find myself grinning like a fool and I can’t help it. “You’re thinking about him aren’t you?” Caleb’s mom interrupts with a smile on her face. “Am I that obvious?” “Just a little but it’s a good thing. Come on let’s go spend some more money.” I stand happily to my feet and we continue our trip. We walk out with more than we can carry and my arms are relieved when we set the bags in the trunk of her car. *** A smile instantly forms on my face when I see the truck is back home before us. I can’t wait to see Cory, although I know we won’t show any form of emotional attachment around Caleb’s parents out of nothing more than utter respect. His truck is unlocked so I grab my bags and transfer them to the cab. His arm snaking itself around my waist nearly causes me to jump. Turning to face him, I can’t help but smile. “Hey gorgeous, I missed you,” he whispers against my ear. My body lights up just by this small gesture. “You smell like fish, but I missed you too.” He leans in planting a soft kiss on my lips. “We caught enough for dinner, you ok with eating here?” He searches my eyes to make sure I’m going to be honest. “Yeah,” I sigh. “Its fine. I’m good.” “You’re not going to try to cut me with a knife in there are you?” He says jokingly. My hand sits on my hip and my head cocks to the side. I know I went a little postal this morning on him and said
things I shouldn’t have. My mind tends to overdo itself sometimes and it doesn’t help that the one year anniversary of Caleb’s death is quickly approaching. Not wanting to admit the guilt that began to course through my veins this morning, I did what I knew to do best, take it out by being a bitch. Cory didn’t deserve that though. He still hurts too, I know he does. He’s going through his own shit so for me to have behaved the way I did, hormonal or not, is no excuse. “Cory, really? I would have cut you back at the apartment if I were going to.” I smirk. He shakes his head smiling and looks into the cab of the truck. “What the hell did you do? Buy out the entire mall?” “Something like that,” I say before walking towards the front door. Walking inside never gets easier, even after almost a year. The same pictures sit in the same places and my eyes still roam to them. Cory’s hand reaches for mine and my eyes look up to his. His eyes are glassy and I know this is hurting him too. An awkward feeling rushes through me, almost telling me not to hold Cory’s hand, but I remember that the past is the past. Caleb is dead and Cory and I are now….together. Confidently, I smile at Caleb’s picture and draw in a deep breath. It’s about time I felt ok about this.
Chapter 35 Cory Time is supposed to make things easier, but being inside this house, staring at the pictures of my best friend while I’m reaching for Sybil’s hand, almost feels wrong. It takes everything in me to convince myself that it’s ok. Everything is ok. She places her hand in mine and a small smile tugs at my lips. As we near the living room, Mr. Thomas smiles and her hand slowly begins to pull away from mine. One squeeze of assurance is all I need to give her and she instantly relaxes. The TV is on a local news channel and the weather man is discussing a tropical system that has formed in the Gulf. As of right now, there is no sure track. These storms can change paths at any given moment. Sybil moves closer to the couch pulling me with her as she studies the screen. The weatherman predicts wherever the storm decides to make landfall, it may be as strong as a category four storm. “I hope that thing stays away from here.” She whispers. “Me too.” “We all hope it does,” Mr. Thomas says. “But if it does come here, we plan on staying. This house is very sturdy and we have a generator ready. I’d expect you two to be here.” “Yes, sir. We’ll just have to keep an eye on this one.” “You ready to get some of this fish frying?” he asks smiling. I release Sybil’s hand and follow him out back. It doesn’t take long to clean the fish and soon we batter the first batch and set it in the fryer. Thirty minutes later, dinner is ready and we are all sitting around the table. Sybil steps away to help clean the kitchen after eating and I can’t help but feel that slight tugging at my heart. There are so many things I want to say to her but it’s not the right time. Scaring her away isn’t an option. “I’m glad you two came over today.” Mrs. Thomas says pulling me in for a hug. “We love you two so much.” “We love you too.” “There’s plenty of leftovers, I’ll fix you a plate to take home.” “That would be great, thank you.” “So tell me, who caught more fish today?” she smiles. “It was all me, scouts honor.” I say placing my hand on my heart. Immediately, I begin grinning like a fool and she laughs as she grabs a plate walking it into the kitchen. Sybil is standing on her toes trying to set a plate in the cabinet. She’s so small, I can’t help but smile. “Here, let me help you.” She turns around, her face red from trying. “Thanks, I’m feeling a little vertically challenged today.” “You’re so damn cute,” I chuckle. Her face turns a deeper shade of red and I can’t help but smile at the effect I have on her. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she tries to play it off but she’s failing miserably. I turn my head looking to make sure the coast is clear and lean in lightly brushing my lips against her cheek. Her skin is so soft and when my lips pull away, her eyes meet mine. There’s a slight sparkle in her beautiful eyes. She completely owns my heart and doesn’t even know it. With ease, I set the plate in the cabinet. “See that was easy, maybe next time I can put you on my shoulders so you can reach.” She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs. “You’re so funny, you know that? I think I’ll sleep in my own room tonight.” “Damn girl, you play rough.” “Wouldn’t you like to know?” My dick twitches at her words, I shouldn’t be thinking like that in this house of all places but I can’t help it. She laughs brushing past me walking back into the living room. It takes a moment to adjust myself before I can join her and all eyes are once again on the TV. In a matter of minutes, the storm has been upgraded and now has a name. Hurricane Aaron is born and is gaining strength rapidly. Sybil yawns and I know it’s time to get her home. It’s getting late and if we sit here, she’ll stare at the TV and worry herself to death. “I think we’re going to go ahead and head home.” I tell Mr. and Mrs. Thomas. “Thank you for today, it means a lot.” “You two are welcome here anytime, you know that. We’ll all keep an eye on this storm and see what happens.” “Yes sir, sounds like a plan.” We walk to the truck and the minute the front door shuts, I scoop Sybil into my arms. She squeals trying to be quiet but it’s no use. My lips crush feverishly with hers, kissing her long and hard. “Let’s get home.” ***
Sybil It’s been two days since we were at Caleb’s parent’s house. Two days since that stupid hurricane formed in the Gulf and it’s all I can pay attention to. The storm is slowly inching closer and closer but no exact path is known. Hurricane Aaron looks like it could go a few different paths but it’s menacingly heading this way. Every fiber in me prays it will change its path and come nowhere near us. I hate to imagine another place getting hit but it doesn’t have to be us. Cory comes walking in with bags of groceries and laughs when he sees me on the edge of the couch staring mindlessly at the TV screen. “Are you still watching that?” he asks. Turning to face him, a smile spreads across my face. “No. Ok, yes I am. I’m worried about this one. I want to go to the store tomorrow to beat the panicked crowd before it gets too late.” “It’s all taken care of. I have a few cases of water in the backseat of the truck and some things we can eat if all else fails. We aren’t staying here anyway if it comes and Caleb’s parents have a gas stove so we’re good.” Cory is so thoughtful. He thinks of everything. “I really don’t know what I would do without you.” My hand wants to fly up to my mouth because I can’t believe I just said that. He sets the bags on the counter and walks up to me. Standing to meet him, his arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. Our chests are touching, I’m almost positive he can feel my heart beating. He leans in and whispers huskily in my ear, “I will do anything and everything possible to take care of you. There isn’t a single thing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, Sybil.” His words take my breath away and if his arm wasn’t around my waist, my knees would probably buckle. His lips brush lightly against my ear causing my breath to hitch. Oh the things he does to me. My eyes close taking this moment in for all its worth. His lips move from my ear as he kisses a trail to my lips. Eagerly my lips meet his and my arms wrap around him. I kiss him with everything I have. He makes me feel safe and that is all I need. He breaks the kiss and smiles at me. “You hungry? I picked up some stuff to make spaghetti.” “I don’t have an appetite,” I admit. “And why not?” he asks in a sexy voice. I can hear myself gulp. Good lord, what is going on? “I, uh. I’m just not hungry.” “Sybil, you’re worrying yourself sick over this storm aren’t you.” Weakly, I nod my head yes. Cory shakes his head and laughs, “Babe, you have to eat. I’m cooking so sit down and relax.” “Let me help you.” I offer. “Yeah? Ok well let’s see, get the pasta boiling and I’ll make the meatballs.” “I can do that.” I open the bottom cabinet and bend over to look for the pot. I almost hit my head on the cabinet when I hear Cory start choking. “What’s wrong? Are you ok Cory?” “Yeah, the uh water went down the wrong way.” “You aren’t drinking water.” I eyeball him suspiciously. “You’re right I’m not. You really shouldn’t bend over like that or we may not be eating dinner at all tonight.” “You are a mess Cory. Here fill this up with water. I’d hate to turn you on when I turn the faucet on.” He doubles over laughing as he takes the pot from my hands. He places it on the stove and I turn the burner on to begin boiling the water. Cory grabs two beers out of the fridge and hands one to me. He continues cooking our dinner and it smells amazing. After we eat, we lay on the couch and Cory is quick to turn the weather off. The weatherman just said he had a recent update but Cory won’t have it. He turns on Netflix and we begin watching episodes of American Horror Story from season one. My head rests on his chest and he holds me close when I jump a few times. I’m a bit of a coward but he doesn’t seem to mind. My eyes feel heavy, but I manage to stay awake. The show is pretty addicting and I couldn’t stop watching if I tried. Four episodes in, I hear Cory lightly snoring. Slowly, I raise my head to look at him. He looks so peaceful and beautiful at the same time. The thought to wake him crosses my mind, but instead I grab the remote and turn Netflix off. I turn the weather back on and my eyes grow wide. Hurricane Aaron has intensified and our area is now under a hurricane watch. Aaron is looking to make landfall in the next three days and my worst fear is coming true. He’s coming here and he’s not looking to be slowing down. A lump forms in my throat and panic fills me. This year has been unforgiving and completely brutal in every aspect. First Caleb, then Megan and now a damn hurricane is coming.
Chapter 36 Cory Three days ago while sleeping on the couch, Sybil woke me freaking out. She could hardly speak, but her eyes were filled with tears. All she could do was point at the TV. I could have fussed at her for turning the damn weather on and stressing about it, but all I knew she needed me to hold her and tell her everything would be ok. The next day we made final preparations to the apartment and packed a bag to take with us to David and Lillian’s house. I hate that we’ve gone through so much this year. Hurricane Aaron is going to hit land as a category four and even though we are inland, the threat is still quite dangerous for us. The entire city is in panic mode, although everyone has known about the storm for a while now. Yesterday morning I went behind Sybil double checking everything she packed to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. Once the truck was loaded, we headed over to David and Lillian’s. Sybil is sitting by the window staring at the tree in the front yard. Aaron hasn’t fully hit yet, but the outer rain bands are beginning to come in. The local news is saying that the brunt of the storm will hit in the next few hours. I walk over to her and kiss her cheek. She turns to look at me and gives a faint smile. “Cory, can you come give me a hand with this generator? I just want to double check it and make sure it’s all good to go.” “Yes, sir,” I say walking away from Sybil. “Are your parents still in town? They can come here also if they want, but they’d need to leave soon.” David tells me. “No sir, they went to my aunt’s house in Arkansas. Mom said it would be like a vacation for them.” I actually spoke to my parents yesterday. They wanted Sybil and I wanted to go with them, but I told them we already planned to be here. Mom worried of course, but I assured her everything would be ok. “That’s not a bad idea. We should have thought about that. How’s Sybil doing?” I look towards the house and shake my head. “She’s shook up about the whole thing. I don’t blame her. She’s sitting by the window right now looking outside, but once it starts to pick up, I’m going to have to get her away from it.” I grab the gas can, fill the generator, and we start it to hear it come to life. After we shut it off, we walk around the house making sure everything in the yard is either picked up or secured. We board up all the windows and the last one we board is the one Sybil was sitting in front of earlier. The wind is beginning to pick up a little, you can see it wreaking havoc on the tree limbs. Inside, I find Sybil on the couch flipping through a magazine trying to calm her nerves. “Hey, you ok?” “Yeah, just nervous. Ready for this to be over with.” “I know, it’s going to be ok though. I promise.” “I hope so.” She sets the magazine down and nearly jumps at the sound of thunder. Her eyes dart to the TV that’s showing nothing, but the swirling hurricane that is beginning its reign of terror on us. The rain begins to fall harder and thunder booms outside. The wind begins to howl and Sybil buries her head in my chest. My arms wrap around her holding her close. Lillian comes into the living room and sets a few candles out even though we assured her the generator is all set and ready to go if we lose power. Time seems to move slowly as we try to wait out the storm. Hurricane Aaron is officially here. The wind hasn’t stopped howling and the rain is falls relentlessly outside. It sounds like a nightmare. I’m glad Sybil can’t see outside right now. She’d definitely be freaking out more than she already is. One loud boom later, the lights go out completely and Sybil lets out a cry. Something happened outside though and we have no idea what it is. I jump up and follow David outside to turn the generator on. The wind is pushing us around as we try to get it cranked and when we finally do, I look towards the front yard and my heart stops. How the hell am I supposed to explain this to her? *** Sybil I know something is wrong. We somewhat have lights again thanks to the generator but the look on Cory’s face is telling me something is wrong. His hair and clothes are soaking wet from the rain and he walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. I push him away and stare him down. “What is wrong, Cory? Is it bad out there?” “Yeah, it’s pretty bad.” He says. I wait for him to elaborate but he doesn’t.
“Tell me about it. I want to know.” “Sybil, please. Let’s just wait until the storm is over ok?” My eyes fill with tears. I don’t like the way this is going. “Cory, you can’t just say that. I can see it on your face. Tell me please.” He sighs running his hands over his face. When he looks at me, I’m suddenly not sure that I want to know what he’s about to say. “It’s the tree Sybil, it’s….” I don’t listen to another word he says. Hurricane or not, I run to the front door and rip it open before anyone can stop me. My hair flies all around my face from the wind and I’m being pelted by rain but I don’t care. Half of the tree is lying on the ground like nothing and my heart drops. The magnolia tree was so strong and now it’s lying on the grass like a heap of garbage. Lightning cracks across the sky as I run to the tree. Cory yells my name, but I don’t turn around to acknowledge him. This tree is everything to me, I hate this hurricane for taking this away from me too. I trip over a limb I can’t see and land on the cold, wet grass. Lightning strikes again and it’s the only way I can see anything around me. The wind howls around me but I just lie there next to the broken limbs and let the tears freely soak my cheeks along with the rain. “Sybil, you have to come back inside. It’s not safe out here!” Cory yells above the wind and rain. “Just leave me out here, Cory!” “I can’t do that Sybil and you know it!” “I said leave me alone! This tree, it meant everything to me and it’s gone now too. It was part of me and Caleb. It’s me and, and it’s you Cory and now it’s gone!” “I’m still here, Sybil,” he yells above the wind. “ I’m not fucking going anywhere. What do I have to do to make you see that? I know what this tree meant to you, but you can’t sit there and base everything off of a tree. I know you and Caleb had memories under this tree. Yes, you and I started memories under this tree too, but we can make our own memories elsewhere. I love you, Sybil.” For the first time since we’ve been outside, I turn to face him. My eyes squint from the rain and I watch him run his hands over his face. “What did you say, Cory?” “I said I love you, Sybil. I’m in love with you. I can’t keep that to myself any longer. You may not feel the same way, but I need you to know that I love you. I want to be with you and I want you to want to be with me too. I want to make you smile and make you happy. You saved me Sybil. We, we saved each other.” His words run through my head over and over again as the wind continues to howl. Cory just told me he loves me. Every emotion I have for him comes to surface and my heart begins racing. He’s standing there watching me, waiting to hear if I’m going to say anything and I know what I need to say. All this time of wondering how he really felt and it all makes sense now. I know he’s always felt protective of me. I know how Megan figured him out and he confessed his feelings towards me. I know he likes me because I like him too and now he loves me. We’ve crossed so many lines and this one, this is the ultimate line. I love him, I know I do. “Cory, I don’t know what to say. I mean, I know what to say, but you’re really sure?” “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” “I love you too, Cory. I don’t deserve you at all.” “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you Sybil, but I want you. I want you so badly.” “Then, you’ve got me.” I tell him. He steps closer to me and extends his hand to me. He helps me up and crushes his lips against mine. My body liquefies at his touch and my mouth opens eagerly inviting him in. His mouth tastes salty and sweet at the same time as his tongue slowly massages mine. He breaks the kiss and smiles. “I love you so damn much now come on, you need to get inside before you get hurt or sick.” He grabs my hand as we run back into the house and once the door is shut, I let out a sigh. I’m freezing from the rain and Lillian meets me with a towel. “Come on Sybil, let’s go get you out of these clothes.” I follow her to the spare room where my bag is. Quickly, I step out of the wet clothes and place my sweatpants and a t-shirt on. Lillian smiles warmly at me and pats the bed beside her. I let myself relax and take a minute to get my thoughts together. So much just changed in the last few minutes and it’s a change I’m willing to welcome. I need this change and I need Cory just like he needs me. “I’m scared,” I whisper afraid to look her in the face. “What are you scared of, Sybil? Tell me what happened outside.” Her hand rests on my knee and I muster the courage to bring my eyes to hers. “The tree is gone.” “That’s what this is about? Sweetie, it’s just a tree. I know what it meant to you. That tree meant a lot to all of us
but sometimes we just have to say goodbye. You of all people know that, Sybil. It’s just another thing we have to learn to get over no matter how bad it hurts.” “I know. I just wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t prepared for any of the things that happened this year.” She pulls me in for a hug holding me tight. I cling to her and let out another sigh trying to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to tell her what really happened outside. Lillian has made it clear to me from the beginning how she supported Cory and me so I’m not sure why I’m finding this so hard. “You could have been hurt running out there in this weather. I’m just glad you’re ok. We just have to continue being there for each other no matter what. That’s what family does.” I smile and know she’s right. “Something else happened outside.” Her eyebrows raise as she looks at me patiently. “Cory told me he’s in love with me.” A contagious smile spreads across her face before she suddenly turns serious again. “Is this a good thing? Do you share that feeling with him?” Without hesitation I reply, “I do. I think I’ve felt it for a while now but never thought it was right to say it.” “He cares so deeply for you, Sybil. Caleb would be happy to know you have someone who will watch over you and do everything to keep you happy. I know we dread this time of year not knowing whether we’ll get a hurricane or not, but maybe this one happened for a reason. And that reason was to bring you and Cory closer.” Lillian speaks softly and her words hit me deep like a knife but not the kind that will kill me. A stray tear falls from my eye and I let it fall. I cry tears I didn’t realize I had but they are far from sad tears. I’ve cried enough of those and the sadness is finally gone. I can’t remember the last time I cried happy tears but here I am back in Lillian’s arms letting them flow freely. “He won’t hurt me right?” I ask. “I know he won’t.” she says softly against my hair. I believe her with everything in me. I believe I’ve finally found happiness again and I’ll hold onto it as tightly as I can. I’ll never let it go.
Chapter 37 Cory Sybil has been in the room with Lillian for a while now. The storm is still raging outside and hopefully we’re nearing the end. No one has really seen the full extent of the damage yet but we are still sheltered and that’s all that matters to me at this moment. David walks into the living room holding two bottles of water. He hands one to me and I nearly down the bottle in one gulp. I didn’t realize just how thirsty I was. “Guess when this storm is over, I’ll have to call and see about getting that tree removed. Is Sybil ok?” he asks. My eyes dart to him and I finish off the water bottle placing it on the coffee table before replying, “She was pretty upset about it but she’s better now.” He smiles and I know he can tell something but he doesn’t push at all. “Want something to eat? I’m going to grab a snack.” “No, thank you. I’m going to go check on Sybil and see if she’s ok. I’ll be right back.” He smiles again as I make my way to the spare room. The door is shut and I lightly knock. Lillian calls for me to come in and slowly I push the door open. Sybil is sitting on the bed in her sweatpants and when her eyes lock with mine, a faint smile appears on her face. Lillian squeezes her knee as she stands. “I’ll let you two talk.” “We’ll be out in just a minute.” I assure her. She walks out and closes the door behind her. One look at Sybil and I nearly fall apart. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Her hair is pulled back now and her eyes still haven’t left mine. Mine. She’s all mine. I’m happier than a kid on Christmas morning right now. I can’t take it anymore, I have to be near her. My feet carry me to the bed and slowly I sit beside her. Like a habit I can’t break, I pull her hand into mine and lace our fingers together. “You hand fits mine perfectly.” I tell her. Her face turns pink and her smile doesn’t fade. My body leans towards her and I plant a soft kiss on her cheek. “I had to make sure you were ok after outside.” She nods her head and draws in a deep breath. “We’ve been through so much, Cory. I know how I feel about you. I can’t lie about it but I just need to know you really mean this. We can’t undo this. I need to know that you really forgive me for the Blaine shit and everything else. I don’t want you secretly holding anything against me. If you want me, I’m yours, Cory. I’ll be all yours, as long as you want me.” “Sybil,” I say looking her dead in the eyes. “I don’t care about any of that. It’s the past. Parts of the past hurt like hell but that’s what we have each other for, to get through it. Together. I want you. I want all of you, Sybil. I want the good and the bad. As long as I want you? It’ll be forever, if that’s ok with you? Because I don’t want anyone else.” Tears fill her eyes and my other hand reaches up to wipe them away. “Why are you crying?” I whisper. “They aren’t sad tears, Cory. They’re happy ones. You make me so happy and I acted so stupid on it at first not realizing this is what was supposed to be.” “I thought it was wrong of me to love you at first but how can something that feels so right be wrong? I want to give you the life you deserve, Sybil. I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen.” “You’re too good to be true.” She smiles leaning closer to me. Her arms rests on my leg and I think of everything I can not to be affected here. Not in this house. My lips lightly brush hers. Anything to taste her sweet lips. I break the kiss for a second to reach into my pocket. I almost forgot I had this in there. Her eyes widen and her smile consumes me when she sees the pink chocolate wrapper. “This is for you. I love you, Sybil.” I open the chocolate and bring it to her lips. As she bites into it, she moans and I’m back to my happy thoughts to keep me sane. “I love you too, Cory.” “I really am so sorry about the tree, babe. I’m sorry you’ve hurt so much this year but that’s all going to change.” She leans into me and rests her head against my chest. I kiss her hair and hold her tight. She’s my life, she’s everything in this world to me. “You hear that?” she whispers. “What?” “It’s quiet outside. Maybe it’s over now.” “I’m not sure. Are you thirsty or anything?” I ask. “Not really. I’m pretty tired though, it’s been a long day.” She yawns and closes her eyes for a brief moment. Gently, I lay her back on the bed and her head finds its way back to my chest. The last thing she says before falling
asleep causes my heart to soar. “I love you, so much Cory.” Never in my life did I think I’d ever really understand what love really meant but here with Sybil, I feel like I’m experiencing it for the first time. *** Sybil The sound of the air conditioner wakes me up. I rub my eyes and sit up to look at the clock on the wall. It’s a little after 7am. Geez, I passed out. Cory must already be up, he’s nowhere to be seen. I’m wondering when the lights came back on but at the same time, I’m very grateful that they are on. Slowly, I drag myself from the bed and wander out into the living room. Lillian greets me with a smile and hands me a cup of coffee. “Well, we survived the storm. Thankfully, we didn’t catch the worst of it. Besides the tree, the only damage is down tree limbs around the neighborhood.” They live on the same grid the hospital is located on so thankfully that’s why we have lights so soon. “When did the lights come back on?” “Maybe two hours ago. Cory and David are outside cleaning up the little bit they can.” “Thanks for letting us stay here last night. I meant to thank you yesterday.” I tell her. She waves her hand like it’s no big deal. “Don’t you worry about it. Your safety means everything to us.” We sit and chat for a few minutes about everything under the sun. I’m smiling and laughing. Damn, it feels good. My smile widens when Cory comes walking in the door. He approaches me with just as big a grin on his face and kisses my cheek. “You ready to head back to the apartment Syb?” All I can do is nod my head yes. I stand and pull Lillian in for a hug. When David walks inside, I do the same thing. We say our goodbyes and head outside. My eyes dart towards the tree in its pathetic shape. Seeing it in the daylight is much different and it breaks my heart but I keep my emotions in check. All good things must come to an end and Cory was right, we will make our own memories. Cory is extra cautious driving back to the apartment. There really isn’t any debris in the streets but we don’t want to take that chance. I’ve never been more relieved to see my car and our apartment building, untouched. Inside, I’m thanking God this storm wasn’t worse and praying for the ones who were truly affected. Inside, I turn to face Cory and wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you.” His lips land on mine fiercely as he pulls me closer. His hand cups my butt and I moan into his mouth. He picks me up, my legs instinctively wrap around his waist and he carries me into the room. “I love you too, beautiful. God, I wanted to touch you so bad last night.” He says as he tosses his shirt onto the floor before reaching for mine. My chest rises and falls with every breath I take. Every time I see him, it takes my breath away. His mouth starts at my neck and trails kisses down to my breast. He pulls one into his mouth, gently caressing it before tugging at my sweatpants that I never changed out of. In one swift tug, they are on the ground and he slides his finger inside me. I moan, begging to feel more of him. He delivers when he continues to trail kisses down between my thighs. I suck in my breath as he gently licks, before completely assaulting my clit. Oh god, this feels amazing. His tongue feels like pure magic. My body begins to convulse as he continues to thrust his fingers in and out moving them melodically with the rhythm of his tongue. I scream his name as I lose complete control. I’m out of breath but I want more. I need more. He moves up to kiss me. There’s something so erotic about being able to taste myself on him. Something about knowing he loves the way I taste, turns me on. He grabs a condom and slides it on before slowly sliding into me. His eyes never leave mine as he gently thrusts gently, making love to me. My eyes close for a brief second as I moan. God, he feels like heaven. Something in him awakens and he unleashes several powerful thrusts that make my toes curl. I love this man so much. My body tingles with every thrust and it’s not long before I’m surrendering the best orgasm of my life to him. Cory walks into the bathroom and walks back out with a damp rag to clean me off. After he tosses the rag into the hamper, he joins me back in bed. Instinctively, my head rests on his chest once again. The beating of his heart is like an intoxicating drug to me. I could listen to it all night long. I run my hand over his chest and listen as he breathes. His hand finds mine and our fingers lace together as we lay in silence. “You’re amazing Sybil.” I raise my head slightly to meet his gaze and a small smile tugs at his lips. “Really? I don’t feel so amazing sometimes, but you make me feel amazing.” “Why would you say that, Syb?” he asks carefully. “No, I don’t want to talk about any of that right now. No way am I ruining this moment.”
“You won’t. Anything you feel you need to talk about, I’m here to listen. I don’t want you ever worried about talking to me about things.” I sigh as I begin to talk. “It’s really nothing, Cory. I just pretty much hate myself sometimes for falling for Blaine’s crap. I should have seen it for what it was and believed you when you tried to warn me.” His hand rubs over mine and he replies, “People make mistakes and things happen. Don’t hate yourself for that. Yes, I was upset but for more reasons than him. I was also upset because I was falling for my best friend’s girl and couldn’t have her. That was shitty on my part.” “I hate that Megan knew how you felt.” I tell him quietly. “Me too. I didn’t want to tell you, but when I was cleaning her stuff out of the apartment I found a letter she wrote me. She was planning on breaking up with me because of my feelings for you. She had it all planned out and said she would hold nothing against you because you didn’t know. I felt like a fucking asshole for doing that to her and bringing her to that point. I never meant for any of this to happen. I couldn’t help it no matter how hard I tried.” My eyes grow wide as I listen to him tell me this. I’m not sure what to really say. “The past is the past right?” He nods his head wearing a grim look on his face. “You’re right. It’s time to move on and we are moving on together.” Slowly I bring my lips to his and lightly kiss him. Our hands stay laced together and we hold onto all we have left. Each other.
Chapter 38 Cory A year ago today Sybil and I stared in horror as we looked at Caleb’s body inside the morgue. It’s a day neither of us have forgotten. A day that left us to face more shit than we ever imagined. Because of that day, we changed in so many ways and saved each other. She’s distant this morning, but who can blame her? I feel distant myself as I sip on my cup of coffee. She’s sitting at the table staring into the cup like it’s some sort of magic cauldron and twirling her hair around her finger. She sighs and lets her hair fall onto her shoulder before picking the coffee cup up and taking a sip. I turn around deciding it’s time to get dressed. We have plans to go to the cemetery today and then spend the rest of the day with David and Lillian. The chair scoots back but I don’t turn around. Sybil’s arms wrap around my waist and she rests her head against my back. I sigh as I turn to face her. Her smile is weak but she’s smiling and that’s all I care about. I pull her closer to me and hold her for what seems like an eternity. A year ago, life as we knew it changed. “I never could’ve gotten through this without you, Cory.” She whispers against the cotton fabric of my shirt. “Let’s get ready, ok?” She pulls away and nods her head. The drive to the cemetery is quiet. The radio is off and neither of us speak. Her hand is in mine though while she covers her mouth with her other hand. She’s trying to control her breathing, trying to stay together, when all she wants to do is fall apart. I park the truck and hand in hand, we approach the place where Caleb lies. Wanting to give her space, my grip on her hand loosens. She clings to my hand, holding it tighter. My eyes meet hers and she shakes her head no. “I need you Cory.” She whispers. We stand face to face with Caleb’s headstone. A tear slides down my cheek and I don’t bother trying to wipe it away. A sob escapes her mouth as her body sinks to the ground. I sit beside her with her hand still in mine. Her body curls up to mine and her tears soak my shirt. “I remember like it was yesterday. I can’t believe he’s been gone for a year.” I say aloud. “I can still see his body lying there and thinking it was just some fucked up dream.” “It was no dream,” she says. “It was a nightmare.” She slowly pulls her hand away from mine and stands. She runs her hands along the headstone and her body begins to shake as she cries. She runs her hand across his name and then begins to straighten the flowers in the vase. They look brittle and lifeless. A petal crumbles falling to the ground and she breaks down again. “I’m horrible. I didn’t even think to bring flowers.” I stand to meet her and pull her closer. “You are not horrible. We can go get some flowers right now. It just slipped your mind, its ok. Do you want to go get some?” “Yeah, I’d love that.” She says. It’s not even noon yet when we get to the store, we pick up a bouquet of fresh flowers and Sybil grabs a pack of her favorite chocolates. I stare at her for a minute and she just smiles at me. I don’t question her at all. Once the flowers and chocolates are paid for, we head back to the cemetery. *** Sybil A year ago today, my life changed completely. Caleb killed himself inside my car and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Life moves on, people change and we find our way. I’ve found my way and I’m happy. Honestly, I am. Cory knows me better than anyone and I know him too. I love him and I don’t think I would have been able to survive this year, let alone this day without him. I picked out the prettiest flowers I could find. Their vibrant colors were just what Caleb’s grave needs. We arrive back at the cemetery and Cory removes the old flowers. I smile as I take a bite of chocolate and set the new bouquet in the vase. Cory opens a bottle of water for each of us and we sit on the grass and just stare at the grave. I tilt my head back as I let the water slide down my throat. A few minutes later, I let out a small laugh. Cory tilts his head and just looks at me. He probably thinks I’ve lost my mind. “Hey, do you remember the first time Caleb got wasted at a college party?” “Yeah,” he laughs. “You two had just started dating. I think he was trying to impress you.” “Ha, yeah he couldn’t even walk straight. You had to help me get him in the truck. He tried to sweet talk me that night but he couldn’t complete a damn sentence to save his life. He blew my phone up that next day apologizing. I
wasn’t mad at all, I thought it was hilarious.” “One time when we were teenagers, we pranked our high school principal. Caleb super glued everything on his desk. He was pissed. We both nearly got expelled but his dad came to our rescue.” I laugh imagining the two of them doing something crazy like that. I grab another chocolate and open it. I’m going to end up eating myself into oblivion. I know I should stop but it’s the only thing keeping me from completely losing my shit out here. “Caleb told me that story one time and I thought he was trying to pretend to be a badass. How did his dad get ya’ll out of that?” “He basically kissed the principals ass but we both were in deep shit when we got home.” The more we talk and reminisce, makes it much easier to look at his final resting place and be able to cope with it. Being able to cope is just what I need today. “He was perfect Cory. I remember when I had my mis—“ I throw my hand over my mouth and shake my head. That was never supposed to be mentioned ever again. Caleb and I had made a pact that no one would ever know. Cory turns to face me with his mouth slightly open. He sets his water bottle on the grass and pulls my hand in his. “When you had your what, Sybil?” “Nothing, please forget I said anything.” “You can tell me anything but if you don’t want to talk about it then I’ll forget this happened.” I sigh and close my eyes. When I open them, I look Cory dead in the eyes. “The summer after we first started dating, I found out I was pregnant.” Cory’s eyes widen just like I pretty much expected them to. Thank you big mouth. “My body pretty much rejected the baby, I didn’t even get to show or feel the things a woman should get to feel. He was upset but I was devastated. I mean, I couldn’t even carry his child. I felt useless. He did everything to show me that just because I lost our baby, it didn’t change anything with us. It wasn’t the right time anyway and I’m sort of thankful right now. If we had that baby, how the hell would I explain what happened to them? Would he have even done it?” “I never knew that. I’m so sorry, Sybil.” He says quietly. I wave my hand dismissing the subject. “It’s in the past like everything else. We didn’t want anyone to know. I wasn’t far along enough to really go blabbing it to the world. Can we talk about something else please?” “Anything you want,” he says squeezing my hand. Tears slide down my cheek. Some for the unborn baby and some for Caleb. We sit in silence for another few minutes on the grass. Cory’s phone rings and I almost jump. I’ve been so lost in my own thoughts that I almost forgot just what we were doing here. My eyes roam back over to Caleb’s headstone and I can’t help but smile. I’m not crazy and I’m not drunk. I’m smiling remember every good thing about him. There was so much about him that was wonderful and amazing. We had so many good times together and although he hurt us more than he could ever imagine and put us all in danger, he’ll forever have a place in my heart.
Chapter 39 Cory My phone rings breaking the silence. “Hello?” “Hey Cory, we just wanted to check on you today.” My mom is so thoughtful. I wink at Sybil and step off to the side to give her some space. “Sybil and I are at the cemetery right now. It’s a pretty hard day, I can’t lie about that but we’re ok.” “Speaking of Sybil, when are you going to bring her around?” “Soon Mom, I promise.” I tell her. “Ok, well I just wanted to check on you. We love you.” “Love you too, Mom.” I hang up the phone and walk back to meet Sybil. Just when I think I’ve learned about all I can from her, I learn a little more. Caleb was my best friend and I knew everything about him. Everything except the fact that he and Sybil lost a baby. My heart broke a little more for her hearing that. She looks up at me and smiles faintly, completely melting me. “Who was that babe?” she asks. “It was my mom calling to check on us. She wanted me to tell you hi.” “Oh, that’s sweet. I’m going to have to meet her soon.” I smile the best I can and kiss her forehead. “Very soon babe, I promise. She’s been dying to meet you.” “Looks like you better pick up the slack on that one.” She smiles. I’m glad she can smile today. “I love you, Sybil.” “Not as much as I love you.” *** Sybil I still want to slap myself for ever mentioning the miscarriage. I don’t know what the hell made me think that was ok to discuss, especially when I haven’t had my period yet this month. We’ve used protection, but I know that doesn’t always mean we’re safe. After the phone call with his mom, we decide to head back to the apartment. I can only stare at the headstone for so long before getting sad again. I blow a kiss to the grave and walk slowly back to the truck. As Cory drives away, I pull my phone out opening my period tracking app. The app says I’m twenty five days late. Shit. I bought a test a few days ago and hid it in the spare room. I sigh realizing what I have to do. I have to take this test and see what it says. If I am, I wonder how Cory will respond especially now that he knows I’ve already lost one baby. Will he be excited or will he be mad? I don’t know but I can only hope for the best. As we pull back up to the apartment, Cory grabs my hand and leans in close to plant a soft kiss on my lips. He deepens the kiss and I moan into his mouth as I thoroughly enjoy the way he tastes. “No matter what, I will always love you. I know you already know that but with the craziness that’s happened, I wanted to tell you that.” “I love you too, Cory.” He smiles and steps out of the truck. He opens my door for me and we walk hand in hand into the apartment. I could let this go, but I need to take the test now. If I don’t, I’ll keep putting it off. I need to know. I excuse myself to the bathroom, stopping to get the test out of the room. I tuck it into the waistband of my jeans and once I’m inside, I rip the package open. I sit on the toilet positioning the stick just right. When I’m done, I set it on the counter and close my eyes. I see nothing but darkness. There are no thoughts or memories that consume me. There is nothing. My eyes open and stare at the stick. My heart plummets and I cling to my stomach. I don’t want to go through this again. I can’t. I only hope this is truly meant to be because if I lose another child, I don’t know what I’ll do. Happy first anniversary in heaven Caleb, I’m having your best friend’s baby.
Chapter 40 Cory Sybil has been in the bathroom for a while now and I’m starting to get worried. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed her like that in the truck today. That may have been a little much and now I’m feeling like a dick for it. Minutes pass and she still isn’t out. I walk to the bathroom and softly knock on the door. “Sybil are you ok?” “I, uh….” I try the doorknob and when it turns, I open the door to check on her. Our eyes meet before mine notice the stick sitting on the bathroom counter. Immediately I know what it is. I reach for it but she beats me to it and covers it up. Her face turns crimson and she looks like she may cry. “Sybil, babe what is it? You can tell me.” “Cory, I’m so sorry.” She whispers. “For what? Talk to me.” I grab her hand and she crumbles setting the stick back on the counter. My eyes gaze down upon it to stare at two little pink lines. “You’re pregnant?” She nods her head yes and then closes her eyes. She’s terrified and I know why. She mentioned the miscarriage with Caleb earlier at the cemetery. She’s scared of this. Without saying another word, I pull her into me and hold her as her body shakes with sobs. “I’m sorry.” She sobs into my chest. I rub her back slowly and kiss her head. “For what? Don’t be sorry for this. Everything will be ok, do you hear me? Nothing bad will happen to this baby.” “I can’t believe we found this out today, but I had to take the test Cory. You really think everything will be ok?” “I know so. Wow, we’re going to be parents, huh? This is the best news, ever.” I smile holding her tightly. This is actually good news on a day like today. I can only hope that she honestly feels it is too. I know she is scared of the past repeating itself but there is nothing that can change the way I feel about her. Knowing there is a piece of both of us growing inside of her makes me love her more. I just know she’ll be able to carry this baby. I know it with every fiber in my being. *** Sybil My phone rings while we’re standing in the bathroom. Lillian is calling and I almost feel horribly guilty. I decide not to tell her yet as I answer. “Hello?” “Hey, Sybil. We tried to call Cory’s phone but it went straight to voicemail. We were just getting ready to go to the cemetery. Would you two like to join us for dinner tonight?” “We just got home from the cemetery, I brought some new flowers to set in the vase.” “Thank you, Sybil. I can’t believe he’s been gone a year.” She says quietly. “Me either. Oh and dinner sounds great. Just tell us where and we’ll meet ya’ll.” “Ok, I’ll call you with the details when we know.” I end the call and look at Cory. “Lillian said she tried to call you but your phone was off.” He pulls it out of his pocket before replying, “The battery must have died. I’ll plug it in, in a minute.” “I told them we’d have dinner with them. I don’t want to say anything though about the pregnancy. I want to make sure everything is fine and I don’t want to spring this on them today.” He pulls me in close and hugs me again. He’s actually happy about this and that makes my heart soar. “Sounds good to me, babe. I meant what I said earlier. Everything is going to be ok.” “I hope you’re right.” I tell him as we walk to the couch. “When we get back from dinner, I need to get my clothes together for tomorrow. I can’t believe I’m finally student teaching.” Finally everything I’ve worked so hard for is paying off. I begin student teaching and then in a few months, I’ll be graduating and hopefully securing a permanent teaching position. “I’m so proud of you Syb.” He tells me as I lay against his chest. His hand stops on my stomach and rests there. My heart flutters as I lay there and I can’t help but be optimistic. Maybe, just maybe, things are finally working out for us. There is finally nothing to hold us back. *** We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early and secured a table for the four of us. David and Lillian arrive a
few moments later and join us. Lillian pulls me in for a hug and I try to remain calm like nothing is going on. I’ll spread the good news in a few weeks. “The flowers were beautiful Sybil, thank you for replacing the old ones.” Lillian tells me as she orders herself a glass of wine. She offers me one but I politely decline telling her I just want some water. She doesn’t question me which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. “So Sybil, are you ready to start student teaching?” David asks. “Yes, sir. I can’t believe I’m finally almost done.” “We’re so proud of you.” He tells me as he sets the menu back on the table. “I told her the same thing.” Cory smiles as he squeezes my hand on top of the table. I can’t help but blush as I sip my water. We eat and talk also reminiscing about Caleb. It’s nice to sit here together talking and I’m a little sad when it’s time to leave. We tell each other bye and head home. The minute we get inside the apartment, I run straight to the room and get my clothes ready for the morning. I have just about everything set out like I need it. My bag with my made up lesson plans is sitting beside the dresser and I can’t help but smile as I realize this is it. I’ve done it and I know everyone else is proud but I am proud as hell too. Cory sneaks up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. He kisses below my ear and whispers, “I love you, beautiful.” I turn to face him and kiss him gently on the lips. “I love you, too.” “You have no idea how happy I am, Sybil. After everything we’ve been through, I finally know what it means to be happy again and it’s all because of you.” I blush profusely at his words. Instead of talking, I crush my lips to his and he pulls me closer. He picks me up and my legs wrap around his waist. He backs me up against the wall and kisses me fiercely. I moan into his mouth causing him to growl as he moves me to the bed. “Can I make love to you?” he asks huskily. I’m barely able to nod my head yes and that’s all he needs to see. In an instant he’s all over me and our clothes are scattered across the floor. He hovers over me and almost reaches for a condom. He lightly chuckles as he realizes we don’t need it. In one swift movement, he slides inside me. This is the first time I’ve actually been able to feel him like this inside me and it’s making my body quiver with need. He moves gently inside me, filling me to my core. I moan as I near my orgasm. I try to hold on as long as I can before I finally come undone. My body convulses around him as I come and he showers me with kisses as he joins me.
Chapter 41 Cory I set my alarm a little earlier than Sybil’s so I could make her breakfast before her first day of student teaching. The coffee is already made and I whipped up some scrambled eggs and bacon. The toaster has just popped up when she comes walking out of the bathroom looking sexy as hell. “Good morning, beautiful.” I say as I hand her a cup of coffee. “Good morning to you. Wow, this looks amazing!” she says noticing the plate of food on the table. “Sit down and eat, you’ll need your energy today. Are you excited?” “Very. I can’t wait to tell you all about it.” She says as she grabs a piece of bacon. She grabs her bag and places it on her shoulder. Before she grabs her keys, she walks up to me. “I’m going to miss you today.” I tell her. “Be careful. I can’t wait to hear about your day.” “I’m going to miss you too. What time is your first class?” “I’m about to get ready and go. It’s at 8:00. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home.” She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me and I pull her close as I kiss her back. “Last night was amazing.” “Hell yeah it was,” I tell her. “You may want to go before I ask for a repeat.” “Oh, you’ll get that tonight. I have to call my doctor this afternoon to see about my first appointment, so I’ll let you know about that.” I smile at her and kiss her one more time. “Sounds perfect. I don’t want you to be late. I love you.” “I love you too, Cor.” She says before walking out the door. I clean up the kitchen before getting ready for class. All throughout my classes of the day I can’t help but think about her. I know she can’t have her cell phone on but that doesn’t stop me from sending her a message telling her, I love her. At least I know she’ll get it when she can touch her phone. Classes drag on, most of my professors actually insist on teaching the first day of class. Finally a little after 1:00 p.m., classes are finished and it’s time to go home. I know Sybil will be tired, so I decide to cook a pot of chili for us. I stop by the store and get the few things I don’t have already. I walk inside the apartment and place the ground turkey inside the refrigerator until I am ready to start cooking. *** Sybil The class of students made my heart soar today. Each and every single one of them were so sweet and listened very well. Mrs. Lyles helped me for the first few minutes until I got the hang of it. That didn’t take long at all. Before I knew it, the day was over and eleven five year olds were hugging me begging me to come back. I can’t believe this is what I’ll be getting to do for a living. I walk out to my car with a smile on my face. I can’t wait to get home and tell Cory all about it. As I sit in the car, I pull my phone from my purse to see a text from Cory. My heart flutters seeing this and I feel like I can’t get home fast enough. My phone rings as I begin to pull out. I turn on the Bluetooth and answer the call. “Hello?” “Sybil,” Blaine’s voice comes across the speakers. A sick feeling fills my stomach as I reach for the button to hang up. “Please don’t hang up. I know I’m supposed to stay away from you, but I just want to talk to you.” “I don’t know what to say to you, Blaine. You hurt me and scared the hell out of me last time I saw you.” I tell him with a quivering voice. He sighs before replying, “I know and I felt horrible about that. I’m in town, is there any way we can meet somewhere just to talk.” I think about his request and all the possible repercussions that may follow. He says all he wants to do is talk and maybe he’s telling the truth. I do deserve a real explanation. Almost a year later, I’m not sure why I care, but I do. I want to know everything. “I don’t know, Blaine. Cory won’t let me go and talk to you by myself.” “You can’t do this one thing without him knowing? I swear, I’m not going to try anything on you.” Now it’s my turn to sigh into the phone. “Fine, meet me at park we went to that time.” “Thank you, Sybil.” He says before hanging up. I really hope this is a good decision on my part. I know the saying curiosity killed the cat and all I can do is hope that doesn’t happen to me. I should let Cory know something, but I just drive. This shouldn’t take long. I already know who Blaine worked for and the reason he was around.
Five minutes is all it takes for me to get to the park. My eyes spot Blaine’s truck immediately and the thought to turn and drive away crosses my mind. I grab my phone and keys as I lock my doors. One look at him and I’m not sure what to think. He looks a lot better than the last time I saw him. He doesn’t look or smell drunk. He looks like the Blaine that I met working at the bookstore. My heart pounds in my chest as I get closer to him. He smiles faintly and it’s almost so easy to forget that he was the enemy. “Hey Sybil, you look good.” “Thanks. Uh, you do too.” “Thanks for meeting me here. I just, I really owe you an explanation and I never got to give it to you.” He runs his hand over his hair and I stare at him. Here it goes. I sigh as everything gets ready to come out into the open. “I’m not sure I really want to hear this, Blaine.” I admit to him. “I want you to know though. I want you to know I wasn’t entirely the bad guy.” His eyes soften and so does his voice as he continues. “I work for Landon. The job is simple. People borrow money and when they can’t make good on their promise to pay, I go get the money back or them. Caleb did that, you know already.” “Yeah,” I interrupt him. “With my trust fund money.” “He really did try to pay it back. It wasn’t enough though and I soon was given your file to study. Landon knew that you had money that could cover this because of where Caleb was getting his money from. The minute I met you, I couldn’t do it. I bought as much time as I could to keep you safe. I started to really like you and things got completely fucked up. I wanted to be with you, to keep you safe, but there was no way I could do that and still do my job. Something had to give. I honestly got you out of town that weekend with nothing but good intentions. I didn’t want you seeing any of that go down and trust me, my ass got handed to me for that one. All I wanted was a chance with you, Sybil.” I stand there staring at him as he tells me this. He really did try to be the good guy, but he was so wrapped up into the business he couldn’t be. Would that have seriously changed things if I had heard him out after Megan’s death? “Blaine, shit are you serious? It hurt so bad to start to like someone then just be told they’re your enemy. I didn’t know what to think about any of that.” “I’m so sorry. I know I have no chance with you now. I’m not here for that I promise you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok and I needed to clear my chest. I’ll doubt I ever meet another woman like you, Sybil Hayes.” My phone rings and I look down to see Cory’s name. His name reminds me that I shouldn’t be here right now. Yes, I heard things that I felt I needed to hear but it’s time to get back where I belong. “I’m sorry Blaine, I need to go. Maybe in another life, another time, things could have been different but this is how our cards landed. I’m happy with Cory. I never thought that could happen but he makes me so happy. I do hope you can find your happiness one day.” I turn away as quickly as I can and get into my car. My eyes glance back to him one more time before I drive off. He looks a little sad as he waves bye. I don’t know what would have happened if this had been a totally different situation, but I do know we can never been together now. No matter how he tried to be the good guy, he’ll always be the guy lurking in the shadows to me.
Chapter 42 Cory I’m wondering where Sybil is. She should have been home by now, so I call her. She doesn’t answer which makes me begin to worry. Is she ok? Is the baby ok? I run my hands through my hair as I stand to get ready to cook. I just finish browning the meat when the door opens and she walks in. “Hey babe, I was getting worried about you.” I walk away from the stove to kiss her. Her arms wrap around my neck and she moans into the kiss. “Hey, sorry I got held up by something.” “Oh ok, something for school?” I ask her. She looks anywhere but at me for a minute and when she looks back at me she frowns. “I need to talk to you.” “Should I be worried? Is everything ok?” “I’m fine Cory. I need you to just keep an open mind and listen, ok? Can you promise me that?” I nod my head yes as she continues, “Blaine called me and asked if he could talk to me.” My face drops as she takes in a breath. “I told him yes and met with him at the park.” “You did what?” I ask hurt. “He wanted to explain everything to me and I wanted to know.” “I don’t really want to hear this, Sybil. I have no idea what to even think about this. You know how I feel about him, about everything he’s done and you thought it would be a good idea to go talk to him?” “He didn’t try anything, Cory. I told him I’m happy with you. I wanted to hear his explanation for things. I know we both don’t like him. He tried though. He tried to be the good guy but he just isn’t meant to be.” “Why can’t he just leave you alone?” “I don’t know, Cory. If I knew, I think I’d tell you.” “Well, you didn’t tell me you were going to meet him. Are you hiding anything else from me?” She takes a step back flinching at my words. “Cory, I am not hiding anything from you. You’re who I love.” “Yeah and let’s not forget you actually liked the guy. If he hadn’t been one of them, you would have been with him, so don’t sit there and pretend he was nothing to you.” “He was nothing compared to what you are to me.” She tells me. I want to believe her, I really do but I’m not sure right now. I’m hurt more than anything. “I think I just want to be alone right now Sybil, I’m not sure how to handle this. I was so excited to hear about your day and cook you dinner and when you come home, you bring him up. I’ll finish dinner but tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch or in the spare room. You can have my bed.” She looks like the tears may spill over at any time but I turn away so she can’t see just how much this is hurting me. I know she meant well doing it but by doing it, she did nothing but cause a tear in our relationship. I’m sure he gave her the answers she was looking for but at the same time he used this to his advantage again. She’s mine and nothing will take her away. *** I awaken to see the sun shining through the blinds. I never realized I fell asleep. My eyes dart around as I suddenly remember I slept on the couch last night. My body aches from lying on the couch all night and now I have to try to get ready for class. I don’t give a fuck about class right now but I can’t let my school suffer. I’ve worked too hard for this. I look into my room and spot her getting dressed. She looks like hell too and I feel bad for having been so harsh with her. I love her dammit, and I’ll do anything to keep her safe and nothing about Blaine will keep her safe. “Good morning.” I tell her. She turns to face me and tries to smile but fails. “I’m so sorry, Cory.” Immediately, I walk up to her and pull her into me. Her head rests against my chest as she stands here. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. I slept like hell because of it. I love you, Sybil. I love you and this baby and the thought of anything happening to either of you kills me.” “I was safe Cory, I promise. Nothing I can say will make up for it I know, but I want you to know how sorry I am.” “I can’t stay mad at you Sybil, no matter how hard I could ever want to.” “Good.” I place my hand on her chin and tilt it up to where he lips are in the perfect position. “I love you, so damn much Sybil.” I tell her as I softly kiss her lips. “I have to get ready for school, I’ll make it up to you when I get home?” she asks wiggling her eyebrows.
“Mmm, I can’t wait.” She heads out shortly after and I decide I’d like to skip class today. I pick up my phone and call my mom. “Hello?” “Hey, mom.” “Cory, are you ok? You sound exhausted.” “I’m fine. Can I come over today?” “You can come over anytime, you know that.” She tells me. “I’m skipping class, I’ll be there in a few.” I end the call and get dressed. I make it to my parents’ house in record time. Dad is already at work and Mom is drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen. “You look tired Cory, what’s going on?” I grab a cup and fix myself some coffee. I sit beside her at the table and just look at her. “Sybil and I got into an argument last night.” “Tell me about it. Things can always be fixed, some things may just take a little longer.” She offers me a weak smile. “Yesterday Sybil met up with the guy who flipped our worlds around. He wanted to give her his explanation of things. I do understand her point in it all, he hurt her though in the worst way. Why would she want to even talk to him? It doesn’t help that we just found out Sybil is pregnant so I can’t help but be crazy worried about her.” Mom’s eyes grow wide at the vast information I just threw at her. “Cory Fuselier,” she starts. “First of all, I want to know why I’m just hearing I’m going to be a grandma. A text would have been nice. Next, you two fought because she went to talk to that guy?” “Sorry Mom, we were keeping it quiet until her first appointment and yes because of that guy.” “Well, I do know a little of what that poor girl has been through, but maybe she needed to hear those answers for herself. Maybe it was the ultimate closure for her.” “I didn’t think about it like that. Thanks, Mom.” She smiles at me and squeezes my hand. “Anything for my baby boy.” We sit around talking for the next few hours. It’s nice to get my mind off things somewhat but in the back of my mind, Sybil is all I see. I can’t wait to see her when she gets home. I can’t wait to make things right and put this behind us. *** Sybil Cory has been on my mind all day. During the midst of ABC’s, Cory is all I could think of. Having him accept my apology meant everything to me this morning. Mrs. Lyles approaches me as the day ends. She tucks one of her curly brown locks behind her ear. “The kids seem to really like you already, Sybil. You’re a natural at this.” “Thank you, I really love it. They seem really great.” “They definitely grow on you. I’ve been doing this for close to six years now and every year, my heart is stolen.” I smile at her as my phone begins to ring. My doctor’s office is finally returning my call. I excuse myself as I answer the phone and schedule the appointment. I can’t wait to get home and tell Cory all about this. “Sorry, my doctor was calling me back. I have my first appointment next week.” Her face lights up immediately. “Oh Sybil, you’re pregnant? Congratulations!” “Thank you. We’re pretty excited. It’s our first child.” “My husband and I have three. It gets pretty interesting in our house.” She laughs. “You can go ahead and go if you’d like and we’ll see you tomorrow. I have bus duty and you don’t need to stick around for that.” “Ok, sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I walk out into the sunshine and smile. My very first appointment is next week and I won’t let the events of the past affect me. I can’t let that sit in the back of my mind. It’s not going to happen again. Maybe Caleb and I weren’t meant to have a baby but Cory and I are. I just know it. *** I walk into the house to find Cory sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. His face lights up the minute his eyes meet mine. “Hey, beautiful.” “Hey, yourself. I missed you today.” “I missed you too.” He tells me. I walk over to him and sit on his lap. His hands grab ahold of my hips and pull me closer to him. Our mouths are merely inches from another. I lean forward and kiss his lips softly.
“Guess what?” “What babe?” “My first appointment is next week.” A grin spreads across his face as he pulls me closer to him. Our lips crash together once more and I’ve never been happier to not have him upset with me. His hands roam over my body before stopping on my stomach. Butterflies erupt as he hand rests right where our baby is growing. “Can you forgive me for being an ass yesterday?” he asks between kisses. “Yes,” is all I say as he continues to trail kisses down my neck. He knows just what to do to make my heart beat wildly for him. “Only if you forgive me though for seeing him.” “I don’t want to talk about that anymore, Syb,” he says as he dips his hand below the waist of my pants. I moan as he touches me and I nearly come apart. Like nothing, he moves to where I’m lying on the couch and he hovers over me. “I need to feel you now so damn bad.” All I have to do is close my eyes and moan giving him the ok to thrust into me. Cory leans forward feathering me with soft kisses as he continues to fill me. My body rocks in rhythm with his and I’m bursting at the seams, dying to come undone. Cory does that to me and I love it.
Chapter 43 Cory It’s been a week since the mishap with Blaine. It must have been some weird closure between the two of them because he hasn’t shown back up and we haven’t heard from him. Good riddance. Sybil’s nerves are getting the best of her. Today is her doctor’s appointment and all she can seem to think about is all the bad that can go wrong. I don’t see anything going wrong. We’ve had enough go wrong in the past year and I believe this is our fresh start. One look at Sybil and I can’t help but see everything positive. We have each other and an amazing family who has our backs. What more do we need? We were there for each other through thick and thin and now we get to have our own blessing. I just wish I could get her to see it that way. She’s fidgeting with her dress in the bedroom. Her black sundress hangs to her feet but she keeps tugging it down like it can go further. “Babe, the dress is fine.” I tell her. She turns to face me and just sighs. “I don’t like it.” “Why don’t you like it?” “It makes me look fat.” She states. I seriously want to laugh at her. That’s the best excuse she can come up with? I know if I laugh though, she’ll have my head on a damn platter. “Sybil babe, you look beautiful. Quit overthinking this appointment because I know that’s what you’re doing. Everything is going to be just fine. Our baby will be fine and then after the appointment we can share the good news.” She turns to face me with a tear in her eye. “You’re too good to me Cory. I’ll never understand that.” “The only thing you ever need to understand, is just how much I love you Sybil. I don’t care if everything else in this world confuses you, please always understand that.” “I understand and I love you too. Let’s get going, I guess. I’m ready to get this over.” She says letting out a deep breath. I grab ahold of her hand and squeeze it as I bring her knuckles up to my lips. “Well, let’s go see our baby.” I tell her with a big grin on my face. Besides the day the baby will be born, this is probably one of the most exciting days of my life. It can’t get any better than this. Getting to see our baby for the first time together, I can’t help but think, damn I’m such a lucky guy. *** Sybil For a week, Cory has been extremely supportive just like I’ve needed him to be. He understands what this appointment means to me and his optimism has been slightly helping me. I can’t help but be pessimistic and I hate that. I just want to be able to enjoy being pregnant. I want to feel my baby kick as my belly grows. Hell, I even want to experience the insane heartburn. Bring on the constipation while we’re at it. I don’t care about any of that as long as I can carry my baby. Cory’s smile practically reaches up to the clouds as he drives us to the doctor’s office. Panic begins to wash over me. I don’t know if I’m ready to go through with this. If something is wrong, I may completely lose it. He squeezes my hand as we walk inside. I immediately sign in with the receptionist and sign a few insurance forms before sitting in the small waiting room. There are women with bigger bellies sitting in there and for a minute, I’m envious of them. I want that and I hope I can have it with Cory. “You ok, babe?” he asks tenderly. I turn to face him and force out the best smile I can. “Yeah Cor, I’m good.” “Deep breaths Syb, I love you.” Before I can answer him, the nurse opens the door and looks around the waiting room. “Sybil Hayes?” I smile standing to my feet. Cory stands beside me and follows me back to the room. “Hi, I’m Sybil and this is my boyfriend Cory.” She looks him up and down and then looks back to me before saying, “Nice to meet ya’ll. Follow me.” We follow the nurse to the room where she weighs me and asks about a thousand questions. Nervously, I spit out answers to her until the last question is asked. She steps out of the room and the doctor comes in not long after. He’s a young guy, looks fresh out of college. My original doctor retired a few months ago and this guy took his spot. “Hi, I’m Dr. Breaux. It’s nice to meet you Sybil. Today, we’re just going to find the baby’s heartbeat and let you see the baby and then you’ll be on your way. We’ll set up regular visits after this.” “Sounds good.” I tell him. I lie back on the table and draw in a deep breath. The nurse walks back in and grabs a tube of goo. She squirts it on
my belly and Dr. Breaux takes a wand and begins moving it over my belly. I try not to squirm but the goo is so cold. There’s nothing but silence for a moment and I want to cry. Is my baby ok? Suddenly, a faint thump is heard and Cory and I jerk our heads towards the screen. There on the screen is a little blip…our baby. “Well, looks like we’ve found your baby. Congratulations! Would you like a picture?” Cory speaks up before I can. “Yes, please.” I would have said the same thing. He’s so excited to see this. His eyes are filled with tears and he grabs my hand squeezing it with the biggest smile on his face. Thank God everything is ok, just like Cory said it would be. Seeing this baby actually sitting in my belly helped me realize that good things can and do happen. Dr. Breaux talks to us a little longer before scheduling my next appointment. Cory and I walk out to the car. I’m holding the picture and continuing to stare at it in awe. “Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more than I already do, I see the beautiful life we’ve created. Damn, this is the best day ever.” He smiles contagiously. “It is. I love it already and I love you too.” “You know what we need to do right?” I sigh as I face him. “I do.” “Let’s go see David and Lillian.” I scrunch my nose, but I know he’s right. They are like my parents now and I want them in my baby’s life. He’s right. I have to tell them and I will. We drive to their house and I grab the picture as I climb out of the car. Lillian must have seen us coming because the door opens and she walks to the steps smiling. “I was getting ready to call you later today, Sybil. This is a nice surprise come on in.” I know she doesn’t know anything but she’s being so nice it almost feels like she knows everything. She pulls me in hugging me for what seems like an eternity. When she pulls away I sigh thinking this is it. I’m going to tell Caleb’s mom that Cory and I are having a baby. I draw in a deep breath as we walk inside. “Is David here?” I ask out of pure curiosity. “No, he had to run up to the office but he’ll be back later.” She tells me offering us each a bottle of water. I drink almost the entire bottle before I catch them both staring at me. “I’m thirsty, sorry.” I feel awkward suddenly like maybe I should have waited a few more days to come here but we’re here now and apparently today is the day. Cory clears his throat and I look at him knowing he’s getting ready to break the news. He stops before he can start and his jaw drops. “Hey son, didn’t expect to see you here. Is this how I get to officially meet Sybil? Hi honey, I’m Cory’s mom, Daphne. He seems to have forgotten his manners.” His mom smiles at me and pulls me in for a hug. Ok, I thought this was going to be awkward before, now it’s totally awkward. “Hi, nice to finally meet you.” I tell her. Guess we’re about to kill two birds with one stone. This way everyone gets to hear the news at one time. “Hey Mom, guess you get to hear this too, again.” I look at him a little bewildered. He leans into my ear and whispers, “I went and saw her last week and kinda slipped it out. I’m sorry.” My face flushes as I try to not let them see. “Lillian, Mom, we wanted to come and tell you this in person.” “Go on,” she smiles. I wonder if she really knows what is about to come out of his mouth. She knows us both well, too well. I decide I want to beat Cory to this so I grab the picture and try my best to smile. “I’m pregnant.” You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Awkward. I hold the picture out for her and she takes it but not for long before Daphne takes it away. They both look at it for a minute before looking up and smiling. “Congratulations! When did you find out?” “Last week,” Cory states. “But we wanted to go to the doctor first before we made an announcement.” Immediately, Daphne and Lillian begin talking excitedly amongst themselves planning a baby shower. I almost cringe hoping I’m not getting my hopes up with all this. Cory senses my tension and leans into my ear, “Babe, everything will be ok. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby.” I look at him and try not to laugh. He’s been reading up on all of this. “I’m trying Cor, I really am.” I am. I put on the best smile I can and jump into the baby shower conversation with Lillian and Daphne. We talk about everything from possible names to the flavor of the cake. Cory looks like he may gag at any moment. I’m sorta liking that.
Chapter 44 Cory It’s been the best day. We got to see our baby for the first time. I plan on putting that picture on the refrigerator and never taking it down. I had no idea that Mom was going to be at Lillian’s that day. I was sorta glad though. Getting it all out at one time was good for everyone, especially Sybil. That was less stress for her. Sybil comes walking out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a tank top. She plops down on the couch beside me and lets out a sigh. “What’s wrong, babe?” I ask her. “Nothing at all. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day and I’m just glad to be home with you.” She smiles as her body leans against mine. She stays silent for a moment and I wonder what she’s thinking. She lets out a yawn and stretches out. I love her so damn much. “I love you, so much Cory. All I could think about today was all the bad that could happen. I can’t believe I let one bad experience nearly ruin me.” “I love you too Sybil. You and our baby. Bad things may have happened in the past but not in our future, do you hear me?” She nods her head yes. I kiss the top of her head and hold her close to me. “Will we really be ok?” she asks. I kiss her head again and closer my eyes. “I know without a doubt in my mind, we will be. We have to trust each other, Sybil. I want you and our baby here for the rest of my life.” She has no idea but never in my life will there ever be anyone else for me. There will never be anyone that measures up to her. I cup her chin in my hand and slowly raise her face up. My lips brush lightly against hers and my body tingles at the taste of her kiss. Her lips are soft and everything to me. She kisses back slowly but eagerly and I don’t want to stop at all. This is pure heaven. I break the kiss to look into her eyes. “Here you go again saving me.” “No, we saved each other remember?” she says before crushing her lips back against mine. *** Sybil To taste Cory again is like the heavens opening up and the angels singing. It’s like God himself is smiling upon us. His kisses turn from soft and sweet, to furious and passionate at the same time. He scoops me in his arms and carries me to the bedroom. Tenderly, he lays me down on the bed and gently kisses my neck. “I love you, so much,” he says through kisses. “I love you, too.” He slowly unbuttons my shirt and it hang open with my bra and stomach exposed. Slowly he kisses me, igniting sparks within. I missed his touch so badly. I may just come unglued now. His hand dips down to my pants and he cups my sex from on top of the fabric. I moan, arching my back slightly. I need to feel him inside me. His hand moves and dips below the waist of my pants. The minute his hand touches me, I whimper begging for him to touch me. His breathing becomes ragged as he slowly lowers his hand to feel the warmth between my legs. “You’re so damn wet, I may lose it right here.” He tells me. I can’t say anything. The melodic rhythm of his fingers has me slowly coming unglued and the tingling sensation in my body is rapidly increasing. My hands roam over his body and when I reach his shorts, I tug them down the best I can. His cock springs free and my hand wraps around it. He groans as I begin to pump it. He stops for a second to throw my pants on the floor. He licks his lips before kissing between my thighs. Oh god, the minute his tongue laps my clit, my body bucks out of control. “Cory, please.” I beg. “You want me inside you?” “I want whatever you give me, just please don’t stop.” I pant. His head moves back down and in a swirling lap of emotions, my body convulses around his tongue. My breathing is erratic and my body is still thirsting for more. “I need to feel you now, Sybil. I love you so much.” He says as he hovers over me. Cory gives me a lazy smile as he slides into me. I love his lazy smile. I love everything about him. Our hands continue to rememorize each other’s body, as he passionately makes love to me. His body collapses on mine as he kisses my lips once more. After we shower and clean up, we don’t leave the couch for the rest of the day. Not even to cook. Cory orders pizza and we lie in each other’s arms. Pure perfection. That’s what this is. He kisses my lips softly before leaning down to my stomach he plants a soft kiss and whispers, “Daddy loves you so
much.” My heart stops at this tender moment. This one moment makes everything we’ve been through worth it. Cory Fuselier is my heart and soul. What once started off as nothing more than a mere friendship that stood through more than its fair share of tests, has blossomed into the most amazing love I could have ever imagined.
Epilogue One Year Later Sybil In May, Cory and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world. He stood by my side as I cried and pushed through the birth. The minute we saw our baby for the first time, it was like the entire world stopped. My whole world was now complete. Cory cried when he first held her and he looked completely in awe. She was a piece of both of us, she was perfection. Caleb has been gone for two years now. It’s amazing how things change. This time last year, I had just found out I was pregnant. I graduated from college with my teaching degree two weeks before giving birth and Cory is now in Law grad school. I’m so proud of him. I was able to secure a teaching position at the school I was student teaching in and I couldn’t be happier. I fell in love with the students and staff last semester while I was there. Emily Grace Fuselier is 3 months old now. She has barely any hair, but that doesn’t stop me from putting bows in it. Cory just laughs at me. This morning, she has a bright pink bow on. This day needs a little extra color. Two years later and it still isn’t that easy for us because we both will never forget that day. Cory parks the truck at the cemetery, right beside David and Lillian’s car. Lillian sees us getting out the car and she walks right up to us smiling. “Come see Nana,” she coos. Emily loves Lillian to death and it absolutely warms my heart that Lillian and David have accepted her as their own. Cory’s parents love her to death, too. She’s a very lucky little girl. Emily smiles as Lillian holds her and Cory grabs my hand as we walk up to the grave. David pulls me in for a hug and then kisses Emily’s head. Lillian brought the flowers this year and we all stand around and reminisce together. We stick around for as long as possible. It’s been a few hours before Emily begins to get fussy. She’s hungry and tired. We hug everyone bye and I sit in the car and feed Emily and change her diaper. Once I buckle her into her seat, we begin to drive home. She’s passed out before we make it halfway down the road. When we get into the apartment, I lay her down in her crib and turn the monitor on. Cory sneaks up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. He kisses my cheek and I swoon right there. “Would you be ok with Mom watching Emily for a few hours tonight? I want to take you out if that’s ok?” “Yeah babe, that sounds perfect.” “We’ll drop her off on our way out and then pick her up on the way home.” I smile at the thought of some alone time with Cory. *** Cory’s mom Daphne, pulls me in for a hug as we hand Emily over to her. After explaining her feeding schedule and chatting for a moment, we head off on our own. Cory doesn’t tell me where we are going and I look a little baffled when we pull back up to the apartment. “What are we doing back here?” “Just trust me, Sybil.” He says with a smile. He opens the door and I’m greeted with candles and roses on the table. Packages of my favorite chocolates are spread over the white tablecloth. My eyes widen as I turn to face him. “What is all this? It wasn’t like this when we left.” “Lillian came over and helped set it up.” “Oh my god, it’s beautiful.” “You’re beautiful. Come on,” he reaches for my hand and leads me further into the kitchen. He opens a bottle of champagne and hands me a glass. There is a tray of baked potatoes and steaks on the stove. He fixes my plate and we sit down to eat. He sets the plates in the sink after we’re done and then takes my hand helping me stand. I set the champagne glass on the table as he leans in to kiss me. Before I can blink my eyes, Cory is down on one knee and my hand flies up to my mouth. Oh my god, is this really happening? He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a velvet jewelry box. He opens it and the most beautiful emerald cut diamond ring, is sitting inside. “Sybil, there is no way that I could ever imagine this life without you and Emily. You are everything in this world to me. You’re my best friend, my lover, the mother of my child and I can never thank you enough for that. We’ve been through so much and we’re still standing strong. I can never express to you just how much I love you. I can never thank you enough for saving me. Sybil Hayes, will you marry me?” Tears fill my eyes as I listen to those last four words. “Will you marry me? “There has never been an easier decision in all my life. Cory is the best father I could ever ask for our daughter to have. He is everything and nothing in this
world would make me happier than being Mrs. Cory Fuselier. “Yes! Yes, a million times! Yes, I will marry you!” His grin spreads contagiously across his face as he fumbles to get the ring out of the box. It fits perfectly on my hand and I smile at it before he scoops me up into his arms. “You just made me the happiest man on this earth.” “You made me the happiest woman, so I guess we are even.” I grin. He carries me into the bedroom and shuts the door. We’re getting married. All my dreams have come true because of Cory. He swooped in as my knight in shining armor and saved my life. Two years ago, I thought my life was over. I thought there was no way in hell things could ever return to any sort of state of normal. Throughout everything, it was all about saving us, and for that reason, I’ve just begun living my life. The End <3
Songs that inspired Saving Us: 1. Say Something – A Great Big World 2. Unconditionally – Katy Perry 3. This Is What It Feels Like – Armin Van Buuren 4. Hey Pretty Girl – Kip Moore 5. Livin On A Prayer – Bon Jovi 6. Like A Prayer – Madonna 7. Evil Angel – Breaking Benjamin 8. Just Give Me A Reason – P!nk, Nate Ruess 9. Dance The Night Away – Van Halen 10. Don’t Let Me Be Lonely – The Band Perry 11. Already Gone – Kelly Clarkson 12. Wonderwall – Oasis 13. I Hold On – Dierks Bentley 14. Drink A Beer – Luke Bryan 15. By The Way – Theory of a Deadman 16. Not A Bad Thing – Justin Timberlake 17. Footloose – Kenny Loggins 18. Between The Raindrops – Lifehouse 19. Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds 20. Hey Brother – Avicii 21. Summertime Sadness – Lana Del Rey 22. Lithium – Evanescence 23. Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard 24. Love Shack – B52’s 25. Beat It – Michael Jackson 26. Caught Up In You - .38 Special
Acknowledgments I can’t say thank you enough for this journey I’ve started. Thank you to everyone who has joined me. Your support has been absolutely unreal and like I said, I can’t thank you enough. If I could personally thank each and every one of you I would, but this will have to do! I’ll never forget the first fan who told me how much they loved my first book. I was humbled completely and that’s when I knew everything I had worked for was worth it. Every person who has told me they liked it has absolutely made my heart soar. Thank you all so much Thank you to every single one of you who took the time to review the book whether good or bad. All of it just fueled me to keep going. Thank you to my fiancé and my daughter who continued to put up with me sitting here day after day writing my heart out. Without their support, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. My fiancé supported me through this whole process helping me along the way. When I would get off work and jump straight on the computer, he would just ask me how it was all coming along. I love you both so very much. A big thank you to my Dad for being my best friend and the best dad in the world!! I consider myself very lucky to have you as my dad. All I ever want to do is make you proud! I love you so much. Thank you to my Mom, you are amazing and I love you so much. You’re the strongest woman I know and I hope to be as strong as you one day. Thank you to my Maw Maw for all the Nancy Drew books she bought me growing up. She and my Granny always encouraged me to read and most importantly follow my dreams. Thank you to all my family…there’s so many people to name...just know who you are and that I love you more than anything! Thank you to my beta readers. No way could I have done this without them. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of ladies. I can’t wait to work with them again: Vanessa Wallace – Thank you for pushing my stubborn self to want to be better. Your support means more to me than you could ever imagine. I couldn’t have done a lot of this without you. Also: MaRanda McCandless, Kylee Beck, Ashley Grimes, and Maureen Dollin..thank you ladies for everything you’ve done!! Lisa Survillas – Thank you for supporting this crazy idea since day one and thank you for telling me not to scrap this book when I felt I’d hit a brick wall! Your support means the world to me! Jessika Harper – I saved you for last hah!! I seriously think I’ve found my sister from another mister! Our conversations literally make my day. Thank you for putting up with my whiny hag self and thank you for threatening the jar to anyone who pisses me off. You’ve got my back and I’ve got yours! Get ready, we have lots of books to talk, just remember I can’t read as fast as you! Thanks to my street team!! You ladies rock, I love you all so much!! Thank you to Robin Harper for yet another amazing cover! I love you and couldn’t have done this without your support also. Thank you for also being a friend to me! One day we will meet, I know it :) Thank you to my friend Kayla Leonard for always talking books with me and obsessing over just about the same characters I do. Thank you for always supporting me! Last, I have to thank God for the ability to tell a story and the courage to live out my dreams. As long as there is someone out there who enjoys what I do, then I won’t stop. I really hope I haven’t forgotten anyone. If so, I’m sorry. All of your support means more than I could ever say so thank you again!! Find me on Facebook! www.facebook.com/amjohnson84