Sloan Johnson - Triple Play (Homeruns #3)

AmazingBooks

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Triple Play © 2015 Sloan Johnson

Cover Art: Cover Me, Darling Cover Photography: Bryant Wood by Eric Battershell Photography

All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original

purchaser

only.

Duplication

or

distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic

or

mechanical,

including

photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except

where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Sloan Johnson, [email protected] http://authorsloanj.com

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27

Epilogue

Chapter 1 Two words: Bill Buckner. Four years before I was born, Mookie Wilson hit a ball up the first base line right between Buckner’s legs, causing the Red Sox to lose the World Series. Today, people still know his name, all because of that one play. As I stood beneath the spray of water following game five of the Divisional Championship, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d sealed a similar fate for myself in the bottom of the ninth.

“You’re going to turn into a prune if you stay in there any longer,” Jason hollered from outside the shower. While that wasn’t my intention, it seemed like a better outcome than turning off the water and having to face my teammates. I’d let them down today. My screw up ended the season for everyone. I wasn’t ready to deal with the looks of disappointment on their faces just yet. “I know you can hear me, Jackson. Now, quit jerking around and get dressed. There’s a bar with entirely too much alcohol on-hand, and it’s up to

us to help them fix that problem.” I didn’t want to drink. What I wanted to do was go home and sit in the dark for a few days. Before, I would have called Cam to have him give me a pep talk, but even that wasn’t possible. He was down in Chicago, hopefully getting ready to make his big break in the world. “Thanks Jason, but I think I’m going to skip tonight,” I informed him as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair. “Not really in the mood to party.” Proving he had zero respect for

personal space, Jason stepped into the shower and turned off the water. My head whipped to the side as I looked around to see if anyone noticed. I snagged my towel off the hook and wrapped it around my waist as I tried to sneak past Jason. He made that impossible as he clamped his hands around my biceps. “It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted, looking me square in the eyes. The words were nice to hear, even if they were a lie. I jerked away from him, not

wanting to rehash the single biggest mistake I’d made in the nearly twenty years I’d been playing baseball. Even when I played on our community tee ball league, I always worked hard to make sure I played by the rules. Today, I’d gotten too wrapped up in the fact that we were one run away from heading to the League Championship series. All I could think about was getting on base, and I lost sight of the ball and the baseman. “Fucking fairies.” Mark Butler sneered as he shoulder checked me on the way to his locker. I bit my tongue

because the man had every right to be pissed. Still, I wished Stu had been in the locker room to hear him spouting his homophobic bullshit. “...get the fuck out of here so I don’t have to worry about some fudge packer checking out my shit...” I grabbed a fistful of Jason’s wet T-shirt to keep him from going after Butler. The last thing we needed was someone claiming Jason started the brawl that’d inevitably happen if he went after the asshole. The two of them had barely tolerated one another in the

time since I’d been traded to Milwaukee, and that relationship had morphed into loathing after Mark started talking shit about Cam. I was glad my best friend had someone like Jason to take care of him, but I did worry Jason would snap if something didn’t give. Maybe everyone heading home for the winter was the best thing that could happen. Not being around one another every day would give tempers a chance to cool. “Jason, you need to learn to ignore him,” I advised, pushing him

down onto the bench. “Assholes like Mark will always be out there, but it’s up to you to choose how you react to it. If you ignore him, he’ll eventually get bored and move on.” “Look, I know you mean well, but he’s an ignorant fucker, and I should have knocked him on his ass when I had the chance.” Jason was fuming mad. He curled his fingers around the edge of the bench so tightly I was sure he’d leave fingernail marks in the wood. I slammed my locker closed. “No, you shouldn’t have. You might have

felt better in that moment, but I don’t believe for a minute you wouldn’t have been upset with yourself after the fact. Plus, knowing Cam the way I do, that could have been a deal breaker for him. He doesn’t deal well with people beating the crap out of one another.” My little plan to remind Jason how much he had to lose if he let his anger get the best of him backfired. When I looked over at him as I buttoned my shirt, he was clutching at his chest. I’d seen him do it many times before, but this time, something was different. The

thin ball chain he always wore was missing. “Have you heard from him yet?” I asked, sitting down next to him. If anyone had told me a few months ago that Jason would become one of my best friends and that he’d be in love with the man I’d dreamed about for much of my life, I’d have told them they were insane. However, there we were, both worried about how things were going for Cam in Chicago. Jason shook his head. “No, not yet. I’m sure he’ll call when he can.

Now, finish getting dressed. You’re going to drink so much tonight that you’ll eventually believe me when I tell you no one’s pissed off at you.” “Thanks, but I don’t think there’s enough alcohol in the state for that,” I bemoaned. “Face it, I fucked up out there tonight. If I’d been paying attention, I wouldn’t have run into him.” “And if fucking Butler hadn’t gotten greedy, he’d have still been safe at first,” Jason countered. “First and second were empty. The only reason he tried to head home was because he’s a

self-centered son of a bitch who’s trying to prove himself. He wanted to be the hero of the game and he failed.” “And he would have been the hero if I hadn’t run into Montoya,” I argued. “He’s the one who stepped in your path,” Jason responded. I got the feeling we could go on like that all night, so I stood and started gathering the shit I wanted to take home with me. “I’m going to call Eric and tell him to meet us at the bar. If you’re not there, I will send someone after you.”

As much as I claimed I wanted to be alone, going home didn’t seem as appealing if Eric wasn’t going to be there. And I knew he’d be in his car driving to the bar before he and Jason even got off the phone. He’d been miserable since the end of the regular season, bored because most of his circle of friends played for the Mavericks. That meant he sat at home watching every game because he didn’t want to deal with people asking him what it was like to watch the game, knowing he used to wear the blue and gray jersey.

“Fine, I’ll be there,” I promised him. Jason gave me a disbelieving glare. “I will! I’m just going to pack up a few more things, and I’ll be on my way.” “Okay, but remember what I said. I’ll have no problem sending Eric and Mason over to the house if you try to ditch us,” Jason warned me as he slung his bag over his shoulder. I dawdled as long as possible after he left, hoping that the autograph hounds would give up before I walked outside. It wouldn’t be my signature or pictures they’d want from me, it’d be a piece of my ass since

I’d let them down as well. The lights in the parking lot turned off when I was only about halfway to my car. I quickened my pace, uneasy in the pitch black night. I knew it was nothing more than my overactive imagination getting away from me, but that didn’t stop me from looking over my shoulder and fumbling in my pocket for my keys. It was nearly midnight, which wasn’t late by some standards, but it was considered obscenely late in the Jackson household. Still, I knew my dad

would be sitting in the worn out recliner he refused to let me replace for him, waiting for my call. We talked after almost every game. He was never overly harsh on me, but he was the one man I knew I could trust to tell me exactly where I screwed up. I didn’t need that tonight. What I needed was to hear a friendly voice. Maybe once we were done with meetings and released for the winter, I’d head to the opposite corner of the state to the small farm my family had lived on for generations. “I was wondering if you’d call

tonight.” Dad answered before the phone even rang on my end of the line. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, waiting for him to lay into me about my screw up. He’d been my coach from the time he signed me up for tee ball until I made the varsity baseball team as a freshman in high school. Even though he wasn’t in charge of the teams I played on after that, he still took his job as a coach very seriously. “You played a hell of a game out there tonight.” That statement surprised me. I figured he’d jump right into telling me

how irresponsible it was of me to run into Montoya. The old man seemed to be getting soft in his old age. If he wasn’t berating me for that play, maybe Jason was right and I was being too hard on myself. “Thanks Dad. You might be the only person who thinks that. If it wasn’t for me, we’d be heading to the league championships. I’ll probably have to hide out all winter, hoping the fans will forget about how I fucked up by the time we leave for spring training—” “Would you quit being so melodramatic?” Dad interrupted. “Yes,

you screwed up tonight. You’re a smart player. You know better than to let someone like him get away with stepping in front of you the way he did. That being said, Butler had no place trying to get home on that play. He could have easily stood there biding his time and he still would have been the first man home.” “Yeah, so I’ve heard,” I responded sarcastically. I’d have never been so bold if Dad had been standing in front of me, but with the safety of miles between us, I didn’t hold back. Dad had

zero tolerance for mouthiness or disrespect, and it didn’t matter to him that I was twenty-five and a professional athlete, he wouldn’t hesitate to knock me on my ass. I couldn’t ask for better parents than the ones I had, but they were stern for a reason. “Don’t get smart with me,” he warned. “If it’ll make you feel better, we can sit down and watch every play of the game when you come home. You are still coming home for a while, right?” Of course I was. No matter how many zeroes in my bank account or how

many reporters wanted to talk to me, it wouldn’t change the fact that Dad expected me to come home and help him get the farm ready for winter. I’d never admit it to them, but I loved my parents for treating me as if I was nothing more than the only son they expected to do his part for the family. It made me feel normal. My sisters’ husbands helped out when they could, but only because they volunteered to help. It wasn’t expected of them. “Yeah, Dad, I’m hoping to get there early next week,” I told him. “I’m

sure the rest of this week will be filled with meetings and all that fun stuff, but as soon as we’re set free for the winter, I’ll be there.” “Glad to hear it. I’ll let your mother know to get your room ready.” There was a lingering silence across the line, and I knew what Dad was trying to keep from asking. Everyone in my family knew I was gay, but I was pretty sure Dad struggled with the reality that I might someday bring a guy home to meet them. For a long time, I’d allowed

myself to think about how easy it’d be if that someone was Cam. They knew him. They’d never batted an eye when he’d shown up at the front door late at night after having a fight with his uncle. My mom was the one who made sure he had school supplies at the beginning of every school year and that he wouldn’t be going to school in pants that were two inches too short and falling apart. It would have taken a miracle for that to ever become reality, but since he was head over heels in love with Jason, I knew that ship had sailed.

“Will you be alone?” “Yes,” I assured him. “As wonderful as it’d be to bring home someone for you and Mom to interrogate, I’m afraid my schedule doesn’t really allow much time for domestic life.” “Boy, you keep that up and I’ll whip the sass out of you when you get here.” The teasing lilt in his voice told me he wasn’t being serious. “Well, it’s getting late. You be safe and I’ll see you next week.” “Love you, Dad.”

“You too.” He hung up without another word and I sat there staring at the display of my phone until it went dark. The conversation hadn’t gone as expected, but it was exactly what I needed. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I started thinking about whether or not I’d go insane if I went home for the entire winter. If Cam made it onto the show, he’d be gone for at least a month, maybe longer, while they were filming. If he did well, and I had faith he would, he’d be busy with public appearances and

whatever other shit went along with being a reality TV star. Mason and Sean had talked about spending the winter in Indiana with Mason’s family, but that was still up in the air. Jason would likely be wherever Cam was. That pretty much just left Eric, and I was sure he’d be glad to not have me in his space. By the time I pulled into a parking spot down the street from Bar 42, I’d made up my mind that I was going to stay home until my parents got tired of me and begged me to get out of their space. I wasn’t paying attention to

my surroundings as I walked up the dark sidewalk. My mind was on what equipment I wanted to put in the barn, the routes I could run through the countryside near my parents’ farm, and how to convince my mom that not every meal needed to be drowned in fresh butter. Everything that seemed important became meaningless as I felt a hand clamp over my mouth. I clawed at the thick fingers, kicked at the shins of the man dragging me into the alley beside the bar. I tried to scream, but I knew no

one heard me. “Try anything, you fucking fairy, and I’ll shove your bat so far up your ass it’ll choke you.” I’d heard that voice somewhere, but I was more concerned with trying to get out of there alive than figuring out who belonged to the hand covering my mouth while the other squeezed tighter on my neck. I clawed at the larger man’s hand so I could draw in a breath. He didn’t budge and my reaction seemed to fuel his anger. My feet were lifted off the ground and I kicked him in the shins again, this time causing him to howl in

pain as my heel made contact with bone. No matter how I fought, he didn’t let go. The world faded as I struggled to breathe. Skin ripped open as my head slammed into the pavement. I could hear bones cracking as a heavy work boot repeatedly made contact with my chest. “You’re a fucking disgrace,” my attacker sneered. “The world will be a better place once there’s one less fag in it.” As the blows continued, I wished I’d passed out when he was choking me, just so I wouldn’t have to feel the spikes of pain every time he made contact. I tried

to scream, but was stopped by the tread of the boot stomping on the side of my face. Mercifully, my world went black after that.

Chapter 2 I felt bad for the guys. I knew how much it sucked to go home at the end of the regular season, but I could only imagine what it felt like to have such a strong start to the post season, only to lose it due to one play. I’d tried calling Drew a few times after Jason called and asked me to come down to Bar 42 but he wasn’t answering his phone. That wasn’t unusual. I figured he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone and

was probably off driving around somewhere, trying to settle down a bit before facing anyone. That’s what I would’ve done in his position. Had the Mavericks won their division, the scene on Brady Street would have looked much different than it did when I pulled up. There were still plenty of people out having a good time, but many seemed to have cleared out after the game ended. After all, it was a weeknight and most people had to work in the morning. Rather than park in front of the building, I found a space a couple

blocks away. I missed Milwaukee when I was out in Seattle, so I often found myself doing little things like parking further away than I needed to, just so I could walk around and enjoy my hometown a bit. Someday, I hoped to get back here, although I wasn’t certain if that’d happen as long as I was still playing baseball. It wasn’t unheard of, but it also wasn’t common for a team to pick up a player they’d dumped off to another city. It’d take a perfect storm of events for the Mavericks to take me back in another trade deal. And I was all too

aware of the fact my season’s stats weren’t anything teams would be gushing over as they tried to find a way to acquire me. The night was cool and clear, not a cloud in sight. A few people nodded in my direction as I walked down the sidewalk, but no one seemed to truly notice me. That was fine because if anyone did, it’d mean they were a baseball fan and chances were good they’d start asking stupid questions. The few times I’d left the house since coming home and had been recognized,

Mavericks fans had wanted me to weigh in on the team’s odds of going all the way this year. When it wasn’t that, they were asking how it felt to know that my former team was in the post season while I was sitting on my ass at home. I usually refrained from telling them the truth. It felt shitty. I hated sitting alone in the living room watching the game because my buddies were playing. I toyed with the idea of buying a ticket in the cheap seats, but that would have been asking for drunk idiots to interrogate me. I didn’t need that type of

shit in my life. My good luck ran out as I got to the end of the first block. A group of college age kids stumbled out of one of the bars. They were all decked out in their Mavs jerseys. Rather than hang around to see if they’d recognize me, I ducked into the alley that dumped out next to Bar 42. It wasn’t the scenic walk I’d been hoping for, but it was dark and isolated enough that I wouldn’t have to worry about other people. I heard something in the distance as I got closer to Bar 42. It sounded like

an argument, but I could only make out one voice. I quickened my pace, clueless as to what I thought I’d be able to do if there was a fight taking place. I sure as hell wasn’t about to stick my nose in where it didn’t belong. I’d had a decent year in Seattle, but that didn’t mean my place on the roster was secure for next season. I knew the score. Teams weren’t too eager to sign a fresh contract on a thirty-five-year-old player. My prime had long since passed and I was biding my time until I faced the reality that no

one plays forever. I could only hope I’d proven myself to be a solid enough player that they’d be willing to send a contract to my agent. That wouldn’t happen if I got into any sort of trouble because the head office of the Seattle Storm had a zero bullshit policy for drama. I stopped in my tracks as I rounded the corner. It was a moment of truth. Three buildings up, I saw a man curled in the fetal position on the ground, trying to protect himself from the kicks to his stomach and ribs. The aggressor

spat at him as he continued using the other guy as a human soccer ball. My previous worries about my fate in baseball flew out the window. When faced with a person who seemed in desperate need of help, I couldn’t just stand there or walk away. “Hey, what they fuck is your problem?” I screamed as I sprinted down the dark alley. That startled the asshole and he took a step back and looked in my direction. With him facing me, I could see how big he was. I didn’t consider myself to be small, but it was

apparent that he had both height and weight on me. I charged toward him, thinking only about the unmoving form on the ground. “You’ve made your fucking point, asshole! Knock it the fuck off!” “Fucking fag had it coming!” the assailant bellowed. “Unless you want to be next, I suggest you turn the fuck around and forget you saw anything.” The guy took a step toward me, but almost as quickly, he turned and ran the other direction. I debated chasing after him, but there was little chance I’d

be able to take him down and restrain him until the cops arrived, so I made a mental note of what details I had been able to catch and turned my focus to the man bleeding onto the pavement. I kneeled down beside him as I pulled out my cell phone. “911, what’s your emergency?” the female dispatcher answered. “There’s been an assault in the alley beside Bar 42,” I informed her, trying to keep my tone level. “The victim appears to be unconscious.” “Police and paramedics have

been dispatched to the scene,” she responded. I could hear her tapping away at her keyboard. I put the phone on speaker and set it on the ground next to me. Blood coated the man’s faded blue jeans and white button-down shirt. I knew it was a bad idea to move him, but I couldn’t leave him lying with his face pressed into the ground. I cradled his neck and slowly rolled him to his back. My stomach churned as I stared at his battered face. This had to be some sort of hallucination. If I looked past the cuts,

bruises, and swelling, I could make out Drew’s strong jaw and high cheek bones. But that was impossible. Drew was inside with the guys, probably half in the bag by this point. “Sir, did you hear me? Sir?” The dispatcher’s voice sounded muffled. Sirens wailed in the distance, but they were too far away. They needed to hurry, to get Drew to the hospital and help him. “Please, you have to make them hurry! He won’t open his eyes.” I slid around so Drew’s head rested in my lap, stroking the matted hair away from his

face. “Drew, wake up... Come on, you can do it...” Drew moaned, but still didn’t open his eyes. I fought the urge to either cry or puke as I listened to the dispatcher ramble soothing words that did shit to calm my nerves. I knew I should hang up and call Jason, but the last thing the cops and paramedics needed was a swarm of concerned and pissed off ball players trying to find out what happened to their teammate. There’d be time to call him after Drew was taken care of.

I shielded my eyes as the bright lights of a squad car bounced off the buildings in the alley, adding a headache to my list of discomforts. One officer rushed to my side while the other jogged down to the end of the alley to stop anyone from gawking. An ambulance soon followed and the officer instructed me to leave Drew in their hands while he asked me a few questions. I felt utterly helpless as he interrogated me about the attack. I’d come in near the end and couldn’t give him any details about the fucker who’d

done this to Drew, other than he was tall and wide, wore a ski mask to conceal his identity, and that he was wearing a black hoodie, jeans, and boots you’d expect to see on a construction site. When they loaded Drew into the ambulance, I insisted on going with him. No way in hell was Drew going to be alone. “Are you family, sir?” the paramedic asked as he continued taking note of Drew’s vital signs. He called out a bunch of stats which didn’t mean shit to me, but I still tried to remember them.

“No, he’s my roommate,” I responded, wishing I could reach out to hold Drew’s hand and make sure he knew I was there with him. “According to his driver’s license he’s from Belmont,” the paramedic pointed out. “Are you guys in town visiting?” I wasn’t sure whether I was relieved or annoyed by the question. It was apparent this guy wasn’t a baseball fan. Drew wasn’t the star of the show or anything, but he’d put up the best numbers of his career this year. “Um, no.

He still has his parents’ address listed as his permanent residence. He works and lives here now.” “Oh, okay.” The ambulance pulled into the emergency bay and I jumped out of the way so they could get Drew inside. A nurse stopped me from entering the room with him and I nearly lost my temper. “I have to stay with him,” I demanded, trying to push past the guy who looked like he’d be more at home in a football uniform than scrubs. “Sir, I know you want to be with

him, but the doctors have to have room to do their job,” he responded calmly. I imagined calming down upset family and friends was part of his typical job duties. “I’ll take you to the waiting area and someone will be with you shortly.” “Is there anywhere private to wait?” I asked as I followed him down the hall. As much as I didn’t want to leave Drew, I knew the nurse was right. Still, the last thing I wanted was to sit in the waiting area in my blood soaked clothes. The nurse stopped by a closet, looked me up and down, and then pushed

a clean shirt and pants against my chest. He motioned toward the restroom and told me he’d wait for me. “Thank you.” When I stepped out of the room, I caught a glimpse of the nurse’s phone display. Unlike the paramedics, it seemed the nurse knew exactly who Drew was. “You’re Eric Sapp, aren’t you?” he asked as we walked down the dim hallway. “I am, but I’d appreciate if you kept that quiet,” I pleaded. I knew better than to assume word of what’d happened wouldn’t become public knowledge, but

it felt imperative that I ask the nurse to show some discretion. While they were technically forbidden from talking to anyone about their patients, we’d all learned over the past year and a half that anyone’s juicy gossip could be purchased for the right price and the promise of remaining an anonymous source. “Of course, sir,” the nurse assured me. He opened a door at the end of the hall and flipped on the lights to reveal an empty conference table. “This isn’t exactly comfortable, but it’s all I

can offer you. Should I assume there may be others joining you later?” “Yeah, I think that’s a safe assumption.” Fuck, I really didn’t want to call the guys, but I had to. They needed to know where we were and what was going on. “Okay, tell them to call me at this number and I’ll sneak them back here.” The nurse offered me a scrap of paper with his phone number on it. This might all blow up in my face, but I didn’t get the impression he was being devious. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

“I might, but you let me deal with that.” The nurse, Devon according the scrawled name above his phone number, plugged in the single serving coffee maker and filled the water reservoir. “I know what it’s like when a teammate is hurt, and I can only imagine what something like this is going to do to those guys after tonight’s loss. I’m here until eight tomorrow morning, so until then, feel free to text me if you need anything.” “Thanks. I will.” I slumped back into one of the high backed leather

chairs, suddenly exhausted. Devon brewed a cup of coffee and set it in front of me, telling me he’d check on Drew and let me know if he heard anything. The click of the door closing behind him echoed in the sterile room. I flipped my phone around in my hands, trying to work up the strength to call Jason. In the end, I chickened out and sent him a text asking him to go outside and then call me. Yes, it’d raise red flags in his mind, but I’d rather that than deliver this news while he was around everyone.

It took less than thirty seconds for my phone to ring. “Hey, that was fast.” My greeting sounded lame, but I was trying to come across as calm and unaffected. “Cut the shit, Sapp,” Jason growled. “Where the fuck are you and why aren’t you here?” I sucked in a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say. I really didn’t want to give him the gory details over the phone. “There’s been an incident. Can you meet me at Aurora?”

“What happened? Are you okay?” Jason’s voice drifted in and out and then became nearly inaudible over the music in the background. “I’m fine,” I assured him. I wanted to tell him to get his ass down here and then I’d let him know what was going on, but knowing Jason, that’d lead to a speeding ticket at the very least. “Look, I’ll tell you what’s going on when you get here. Something happened to Drew and the doctors are looking at him now.” “What the fuck?” Jason

bellowed. I heard him relaying what I’d told him to someone else, and then trying to convince whoever it was to stay put. “I figured he’d punked out and headed home after the game. Fuck!” “Hey, I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you talk to Cam, could you not mention this to him right now?” Jason’s boyfriend, Drew’s best friend, was at the audition of a lifetime, but there was no doubt in my mind he’d jump in the first cab he could hail to get back to Milwaukee if he knew Drew was hurt. Luckily, I didn’t have to explain that to

Jason. “Yeah, there’s no point until you tell me what happened.” Jason sounded pissed off, but at least he wasn’t arguing. “Be warned, Mason and Sean are coming with me because Mason’s the only one sober enough to drive.” “Okay. I’m going to text you a phone number. When you get here, call it and let the guy who answers know you’re here,” I told him. That led to more questions, but he seemed relieved to hear that we weren’t going to be congregating in the main waiting room.

The last time that’d happened for this group of guys was when Mason got hurt, and that turned into a nasty media shitstorm. With the only call I could make taken care of, I bent over to rest my head over my forearms on the table. I doubted I’d be able to sleep, but I needed to block out what was going on outside this room. I’d actually managed to drift off when the cavalry came storming into the conference room. Apparently, no one had heeded Jason’s advice to stay

behind so the hospital wasn’t overrun with baseball players. Half the team and their significant others filed into the room, leaving poor Devon playing doorman. He seemed unfazed by the chaos which ensued, and actually offered to run to the store on his lunch break to get us some food to soak up the alcohol seeping out of the pores of most of the guys. “Thanks, Devon.” I pulled three twenties out of my pocket and handed them over to him. “Seriously, when this is all over, I owe you big time.”

“Don’t mention it, Mr. Sapp. As I said earlier, I know what it’s like when a teammate is down.” As the big guy walked away, I noticed the way he favored his right leg. I wondered if he was the injured player he kept referring to, and knew how his own teammates had responded. I followed Devon into the hall and called after him. He stopped and waited for me to catch up. “Have you heard anything?” “Not yet, sir,” he responded, looking around to make sure no one else

could hear us. “I’m sure you know I’m not supposed to give you any information since you aren’t family, but it seems to me someone should know the score.” “Thanks Devon, but I don’t want you jeopardizing your job for me,” I responded. It seemed a more suitable response than throwing my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek, which had also crossed my mind. “Don’t you worry about me, sir.” Devon motioned for me to follow him out a side door, which appeared to lead to an employee smoking lounge. It

seemed odd to me that a hospital allowed their employees to smoke on the property, but then again they all had high stress jobs and it made sense that they needed to decompress from time to time. “As I said in there, I don’t have much information just yet, but they’ve taken him to X-ray and they’ll likely run a slew of other tests before the night is out, trying to rule out a head injury or any internal bleeding.” That didn’t sound good, but after having been there with Drew, it wasn’t a surprise. I let out a sigh of relief because

it sounded as if Drew might not be in as bad of shape as I’d assumed. “Look, I gotta get back in there. If I hear anything else, I’ll be sure to let you know right away.” Devon stepped toward the door. “I know it’s not much, but if he’s gotta be here, tonight’s a good night. We were staffed heavy in case the Mavericks won, and people got stupid...” How ironic. Drew was going to get expedient, attentive care, all because the team he played for lost the game. Because of a play that he’d been

involved in. Talk about bittersweet comfort. “Thanks again, Devon. I’d better get in there before the guys hunt me down.” A conference room full of pissed off, mostly drunk baseball players awaited me inside. When I opened the door, the room exploded into a barrage of questions so loud I couldn’t hear any of them. Finally, Mason whistled loud enough to wake the dead and everyone stopped talking at once. “Thanks, Mason.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Mason barked out. “You got these guys all worked up, and I want to know what the fuck happened that we’re sitting here instead of down at 42.” Sean pulled Mason back as he advanced toward me. I swallowed hard and nodded my thanks to my friend. Murmurs started throughout the room again and I cleared my throat. “First, let me tell you I don’t have a lot of information just yet. I cut through the alley on my way to 42 and interrupted someone beating the shit out of Drew. I

didn’t know it was him at first, but I scared the guy off and called 911.” “Why the fuck didn’t you go after the guy?” Kevin Green asked, which earned him a slap to the back of the head from his girlfriend. Amber wasn’t the type to take shit off anyone, including Kevin. That quality may very well come in handy before this was over. I needed someone with a level head in my corner as the rage in my friends and former teammates grew. “Because if I’d gone after him, that would have meant leaving Drew

lying in the alley in a pool of his own blood,” I snapped back, slapping my hands on the table, leaning in closer to Kevin. “It was a snap decision, but if I had it to do all over again I’d have done the fucking same. Hopefully when Drew wakes up, he’ll be able to tell the cops something and they’ll catch the mother fucker who did this to him. If I hadn’t let the asshole go tonight, we might be having a very different argument right now.” My entire body shook uncontrollably. I hoped I wasn’t about to

break down crying, but I couldn’t be certain. The gravity of what had happened crashed down on me and it became hard to breathe. I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced to see Jason standing behind me. I placed my hand over his, not giving a flying fuck who might have an issue with it. “You made the right call, Eric,” Jason assured me before stepping to the side to address the rest of the room. “And if any of you disagree with that, you can come and talk to me. It’s easy for all of us to sit here and talk about

what we would have done, but the reality is none of us had to make that call. None of us had to see one of our own lying on the ground. None of us will go to bed tonight with those images running through our heads. Eric will. And even though he’s no longer a Maverick, he’s still our brother. Remember that.” A soft knock on the door interrupted everyone from coming at me with questions for which I didn’t have answers. Devon poked his head inside and motioned for me to join him in the

hall. He cocked an eyebrow when Jason followed me. “It’s okay. If one of us is going to be here, it should actually be him,” I informed Devon. “Jason’s boyfriend is Drew’s best friend. He’s probably the one you should be talking to.” I took a step back, but Jason stopped me. “No man, you’re as close to him as the rest of us. I’d like to hear what they have to say, but I think Drew would want you here. He and I haven’t exactly had the best relationship over the past few months.”

“You two can figure that out between yourselves.” Devon chuckled. “For now, I’ll just say what needs to be said. Drew’s back from X-ray. He has three cracked ribs and his right wrist is broken. He woke up for a while, but now he’s out again thanks to the pain meds. The CT scan showed no bleeding or swelling on the brain, which is a damn good thing. He does have a moderate concussion, but that’s to be expected in this type of scenario.” “When can we see him?” Jason asked. Devon simply shook his head and

looked past us into the conference room filled with men nearly gripping the table to keep from rushing into the hall. “If by ‘we’ you mean the two of you, that should be possible once we take him upstairs for observation. I know it’s a long shot, but do either of you have information on how to reach his emergency contact?” Devon waited for me to answer and I looked to Jason, because I sure as fuck had no clue. Finally, Jason spoke up. “Was his cell phone in his pocket when they brought him in? If it was, I’d like to see

if I can call his parents. That way they don’t flip out by getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night.” “I believe it was with his personal belongings, yes.” Devon’s phone rang and he pulled it out to look at the display. “I have to take this. I’ll come back when I have more information.” “Thanks, Devon.” I was surprised he’d given us so much information when he didn’t have to. After he walked away, I slumped against the wall feeling completely wrung out.

Without the adrenaline coursing through my body, I was left running on fumes. Jason wrapped his arm around the back of my neck and pulled me in for a hug. My body went rigid at his touch. He was one of my closest friends, but I’d never known him to be openly affectionate. “Come on, let’s go tell the guys, and see if we can get some of them to clear out.” “Yeah,” I agreed, unable to form a complete thought. This wasn’t the way our night was supposed to go, but I was grateful to Jason for understanding what

I needed. I couldn’t explain why, but something inside me refused to set foot outside the hospital before I had a chance to talk to Drew and know he was okay.

Chapter 3 All I wanted to do was sleep. You’d think that’d be easy to do in a hospital. Not so much. Between the nurses coming in to make sure I woke up normally, the doctors checking to confirm they hadn’t overlooked something, and my over-vigilant family, it felt as though it’d been a week since I’d last slept. This time, it was the scent of coffee filling the room that pulled me out

of my haze. I turned my head and scowled as Jason took the seat next to my bed and sipped his morning brew. On top of being exhausted and every inch of my body hurting, I had yet to convince anyone in this place to give me anything beyond water and ice. No one can be expected to be satisfied by that, especially someone who’d played the game of his life the night before and lost. “You’re up awfully early.” My voice was hoarse and my head throbbed as I tried to sit up. Jason reached for the remote and handed it to me so I could

raise the head of the bed rather than continue trying to make the pillows support me. “Can’t be up early if you haven’t gone to bed,” Jason admitted. That made me feel like an ass. He shouldn’t have to be up here waiting around to see if I was going to live or die. And from what they’d told me, I was definitely going to live. With the amount of pain I was in, I wasn’t sure yet if that was a good or bad thing. “Sorry if I freaked you out last night,” I apologized. Jason waved me off

before I could say anything else. As comforting as it was to have him by my side, he wasn’t the one I wanted to see sitting in that chair. Perhaps Cam’s absence also had something to do with Jason not sleeping. “Have you heard from him?” Even though I still didn’t love the idea of Jason and Cam being stupidly in love with one another, I had to admit Jason was better for my best friend than I ever could have been. He’d forced Cam outside of his comfort zone and into the opportunity of a lifetime. Cam would

be here now, likely losing his fucking mind, if Jason hadn’t pushed him to go to an audition for A Cut Above yesterday. “Yeah, he called last night.” By the wide smile on Jason’s face, I knew it had to be good news. “By now, he’s probably asleep in a hotel in New York, waiting to begin filming.” A pit formed in my stomach. I was elated for Cam, but I wished he could be here. Maybe it made me a dick, but Cam was the only person I could really talk to about everything that was going on. I needed my other half with

me, if for no other reason than to serve as a buffer between me and everyone who tried coddling me as I healed. “You didn’t tell him about this, did you?” I figured he hadn’t since I knew Cam well enough to know that he would have thrown away whatever they were offering him if he knew I’d been beat up. Still, I needed Jason to confirm my assumptions. “No, he called shortly before Eric called me,” Jason assured me. Wait, what did Eric have to do with this? Jason must’ve read the confusion across

my knitted brow. “He’s the one who stopped that asshole from killing you.” Bile rose in my throat and I seriously thought for a moment that I was going to hurl all over myself and Jason. I remember bits of the beginning of the attack, but somewhere along the way, I must’ve passed out. The next thing I knew, I was in the emergency room. Hearing Jason speak so bluntly freaked me the hell out. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t the overly dramatic type. If he said there was a chance I could’ve been killed, he meant

it. Jason reached for my hand, squeezing gently as I started to hyperventilate. “Hey, I shouldn’t have been so crass. Yeah, it was that bad, but you don’t need to be thinking about that shit right now. You’ve gotta calm down, man. Otherwise, the nurses are going to come running back in here and before you know it, they’ll be running all sorts of tests again. You don’t want that, do you?” I shook my head. The only thing I wanted was to get the hell out of here.

Well, and I wanted to talk to Eric. He might be able to fill in the huge blanks in my mind. “Sorry, you probably think I’m a colossal wuss right about now.” Jason snorted in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m shocked as hell you’re doing this well with everything. You might not remember it, but from what I hear, it wasn’t pretty when Eric found you. It takes a hell of a man to bounce back from that.” I looked all around the room, as if trying to show Jason just how much I hadn’t ”bounced back.” I was lying in a

hospital bed, nearly desperate enough to offer him a blowjob if only he’d bring me something to fucking eat and give me a sip of his coffee. “Thanks.” Jason sat back in his chair once my breathing returned to normal. “Were you the one who called my dad in the middle of the night?” Jason had the decency to look a bit nervous at the curt tone in my voice. “Yeah, and I’d do it again if I had to,” he admitted. “Your dad wasn’t too happy about being woken up at one in the morning, but I figured he’d be even more

pissed off if I hadn’t called him at all.” I laughed because Jason was so right about that. Then, I nearly doubled over at the searing pain through my torso. “Man, and to think you’ve never met the guy. Yeah, he’d have stormed in here ready to kick some serious ass if he hadn’t found out pretty much right away.” “Cam talks about your parents a lot,” Jason informed me. That wasn’t surprising, since they were the closest thing he’d ever had to decent parents. It surprised me that he turned out as well

as he did, given the shitty hand he’d been dealt as a kid. Still, it warmed my heart to know Cam talked about my family to the guy he was in love with. “I think that helped last night, too, because I was able to tell them who I was to Cam and that way I wasn’t just some asshole calling in the middle of the night with bad news.” I knew my parents had been here, but they were nowhere to be found. That was odd, because I’d have figured there was nothing that’d keep my mom from hovering over me until she was satisfied

that I’d be okay. “Where are they now?” “Eric took them back to your place to get a shower and some breakfast,” Jason told me. Man, I owed Eric big time. First, he basically saved my life and then he got my parents out of the hospital before they could drive everyone insane. I chuckled as much as my battered body would allow as I wondered if he was currently sitting on the couch regretting his decision. “He said they can sleep up in Cam’s room while they’re there. If the doctors hadn’t told your mom you’ll probably be getting

out of here later today, I don’t know that she’d have left.” “Probably not.” I loved Mom, but she was most protective over me. I was the baby of the family, their ”oops” child, and she hadn’t quite learned to let go of me once I reached adulthood. “Don’t worry, they’ll probably be back within the hour,” Jason said, laughing when I groaned. Between the physical pain and the thought of a panicked mother when she got back up here, I suddenly wanted something much stronger than coffee. Like, maybe a

bottle of scotch. “Is Eric coming with them?” I wanted a few minutes alone with him to thank him for everything. It was completely inadequate but it’d have to do for now. I also worried about how he was doing in the aftermath of last night. “Yeah, he’ll be here.” Jason looked uncomfortable, as if there was something else on his mind. Something he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure he should. “Whatever it is, just spit it out.” I was never one for dancing around

uncomfortable conversations, and I sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to start now. “Is something going on between the two of you?” he asked after a long silence. “I mean, it’s totally cool if it is, but you have to know he’s not someone who’s good at fooling around. He might say he is, but he’s not.” That was reassuring, not that it mattered. Eric and I had spent a bit of time together in the week since he’d been home, but never anything more than two guys hanging out. And even that was limited because he was trying to relax

after a horrendous season for the Seattle Storm, and I was trying to stay focused in hopes of helping the Mavericks get to the World Series. Which hadn’t happened. Because of me. Fuck, as if I needed anything else trampling through my head, now I was back to thinking about that fucking game. Fucking Mark Butler. Jason was right about one thing. Mark was a cocky sonuvabitch who wanted to be the hero of the game. And I stopped him and screwed our team in the process. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Two reasons,” Jason stated, sitting a bit straighter in his seat. “First, Eric freaked the hell out last night, and I don’t think it was just because of what he interrupted. He was seriously worried about you. Second, a text message came in for you this morning.” He tossed me my phone and then picked it up when I couldn’t hold and unlock it one handed. I read the message from Bryce three times and it still didn’t make sense. It said he was in town and wanted to get together today. I wondered why he hadn’t told me he was coming

back to Wisconsin. I tried to figure out how to blow him off because there was no way I wanted him to see me this way. “I could give you the same speech about that one,” Jason said as he nodded toward my phone. “But for some reason, I don’t think I need to worry as much about him.” “Jason, you can think I’m some sort of manwhore if it’ll make you feel better, but I haven’t done anything with either of them.” I clenched my jaw and took a few breaths to try and calm down. “Bryce and I have seen each other

exactly once, the night you and Cam made up. Since then, we’ve been talking but there’s nothing going on there. And Eric, well he’s my roommate. I can’t exactly ignore him.” “As long as you remember that both of those guys are like brothers to me. You hurt either of them and the payback will be swift and unpleasant.” I’d be pissed if I hadn’t given him the same warning, almost verbatim, when he and Cam started fooling around. “Got it. Now, if you’re done would you please go and see when

they’ll let me eat something?” I didn’t give two shits if I sounded whiny. If I didn’t get something in my stomach soon, the petulance would turn to anger and then no one would want to deal with me. Jason laughed as he hoisted himself out of the chair which was too small for his large frame. “Yeah, I’ll see if I can scrounge up something. I think the doctors just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to puke when the water hit your stomach.” “Thank you.” I was grateful to see him leave, not only because I was

ravenous, but also because I just wanted to be alone. Just a few minutes without anyone asking what hurt, how I felt, if they could do anything for me, and on and on.

Chapter 4 When I took the job with Pot of Gold, I thought it’d be a great way to actually do some good in life. I’d been jaded by my time in the Army, but I think that’s why I was so hell-bent on making a difference. I’d seen horrible acts fueled by hate and bigotry, but knew my CO wouldn’t believe me if I confessed my assumptions to him. So, I kept my mouth shut and my inaction led to the death of one of my best friends. That

was something I’d live with until the day I died, but it also led me to vow to help keep someone else from being too much of a coward to say anything. I sure as hell hadn’t counted on sitting down with my morning coffee to analyze every line of the proposed budget, trying to figure out where we could cut dollars in order to save the entire Milwaukee chapter from closing down. If something didn’t change, I doubted we’d be able to keep the doors open for another year, and that wasn’t an option in my mind. That’s why I hadn’t

given it a second thought when the founder asked me if I’d be willing to pack up and temporarily move to Wisconsin. It seemed as if everything was finally beginning to look up for me. When I was in Milwaukee a few weeks ago, I’d met Drew, one of my friend Jason’s teammates, who also happened to be the long-time best friend of Jason’s boyfriend, Cam. The two of us hit it off and he didn’t once look at me as though I’d grown a third eye when I rambled on about the need for places like Pot of

Gold through most of dinner. In fact, he seemed almost as eager to help as I’d been in the early days, even if that was impractical most of the year since he was a big shot baseball player. The two of us had parted ways that night with what seemed to be empty promises to meet up the next time I was in town. Empty only because I hadn’t thought I’d be back so soon and it was unlikely someone like Drew would be sitting around waiting on someone like me to show up at his door. We’d shared text messages back and forth over the

past few weeks, but those had dwindled to almost nothing as the Mavericks made their way into the playoffs for the first time in however long. I wasn’t upset about it since I knew from Jason how much time and focus it took to stay at the top of his game during the season. With the Mavericks’ battle for the pennant officially over for the year, I picked up my phone, hoping that Drew would want to get together at some point. It might not be today or tomorrow since I’m sure he still had plenty of work to do before the team sent everyone

home for the winter, but sometime. As much as I’d been dying to talk to him, I decided that it’d be less intrusive if I sent a text. That way, if he wasn’t as anxious to see me as I was him, I wouldn’t be waking him on the first morning he could sleep in. He was probably out last night with his teammates and nursing one hell of a hangover. After tapping out a message to let him know I was back in town and interested in seeing him, I tried to focus on the spreadsheets strewn across the table in front of me. Less than a minute

later, my phone rang. The voice on the other end of the line wasn’t one I expected to hear since it was Drew’s number on my caller ID. “Bryce, it’s Jason,” my friend responded after I said hello. “Hey, why do you have Drew’s phone?” I’d never felt the need for niceties with Jason. He was a nobullshit kind of guy, which was good because my mother often scolded me telling me I was born without any social graces. When Jason didn’t immediately respond, I began to think it was a huge

mistake to try and reconnect with Drew. “Did I lose you?” The silence on the other end of the line dragged on long enough I almost hung up. When Jason answered me, I began to notice just how tired he sounded. “Yeah, sorry. I had to ask one of the nurses a question.” That put all of my senses on high alert. My stomach churned at the thought of something being wrong. I flipped the channel to the sports network to see if there was any mention of Drew getting hurt during last night’s game. The

highlights of the game droned on, but no mention of anyone being injured. “What’s going on, Jason?” “Look, I’m only telling you this because you’re my friend,” Jason said warily. “No one’s caught wind of it yet, and we’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.” So much for not trying to sugar coat shit. “Spit it out, already,” I grumbled. “Drew was attacked last night on his way to the bar.” I swallowed hard against the light breakfast threatening to

make a return trip up my throat. I replayed Jason’s words over and over, but nothing made sense. “How in the hell did that happen?” I asked. I always thought that was a ridiculous question, but it was the only thing that came to mind. “Not sure yet. The cops spent some time questioning him early this morning, but he couldn’t give them much to go on,” Jason told me. Nervous energy filled my body and I needed to do something. I stood and walked over to the sliding door which led out to a small

balcony. When I opened the door, I was hit with a blast of cold air but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except finding out what was going on with Drew. “From the little bit I heard and the extent of his injuries, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that whoever did it knows Drew’s gay.” Suddenly, I was doubting whether or not my presence in Milwaukee was going to be welcomed. I’d known too many guys in Drew’s position who turned their backs on anyone and everyone they were close to

before the attack. Then again, that could be a good thing in our case since we hadn’t really gotten a chance to spend much quality time together during the one night we’d had dinner before. “I’m coming up there,” I informed him. I was already on my way to the bedroom to grab something other than the old pair of shorts I’d thrown on when I woke up. I couldn’t sit around doing nothing. I could tell by the thick drawl in Jason’s words that he hadn’t slept at all last night and he needed someone to take care of him. I couldn’t

blame Cam for not stepping up to the plate since he and Drew were best friends. Hell, he was probably in even worse shape than Jason. “I could bring breakfast for you and Cam.” “I’m not hungry,” Jason protested. “You guys need to eat,” I countered. This was something else which was familiar to me. Whether it was family members or friends of the victims, those close to the situation rarely took care of themselves. “It’s just me,” Jason admitted.

Those three words sounded so somber I wished I was next to him so I could give him a hug. And maybe make sure he wasn’t about to dive head first into a bottle again. The last time I’d heard him sound this lost and defeated was in the months after I showed up on Jason’s doorstep to give him some of his dead lover’s belongings. We’d been deployed together and he’d given me a list of things to make sure Jason got if anything should happen to him. It was as if he’d known he wasn’t going to come back home. Jason must have realized how his

response sounded, because he quickly added, “Cam had an audition for a cooking show yesterday. He made it, but that meant he had to fly out to New York late last night. He has no clue what’s going on.” Shit. Now Jason’s exhaustion made sense. Not only was he trying to be there for his teammate, but knowing how loyal he was, he was trying to do everything for Drew that Cam would have done if he was there. “Well, in that case, you really need someone to take care of you. Are you alone up there with

him?” “I’m fine, Bryce. Eric is on his way back up with Drew’s parents. He’d been refusing to leave, but I convinced all of them to get out of here for a while when Drew was sleeping.” The bile rose in my throat again. I didn’t know who Eric was or how he fit into the puzzle, but he and Drew had to be close if he was keeping vigil at his bedside. This was no time for me to allow my jealousy to get the better of me. I needed to be happy for Drew if he’d found someone decent to stand by him through

whatever recovery he was going to face. “Okay, well then both of you need to eat something.” I chuckled, remembering how Drew talked about the way Cam was always trying to feed everyone. I realized that was one thing the two of us had in common. Whenever anyone was going through any sort of traumatic event when I was a child, my mom used to swear the answer was a homemade casserole. I wasn’t about to go to those lengths, but there had to be a donut shop between here and whatever hospital they were at. “Text me the

address and I’ll be there as soon as I can with the biggest, blackest cup of coffee I can find.” Jason let out a ragged breath, likely trying to decide whether or not to argue with me. If he hadn’t been able to best me when he was trying to drink himself to death, he sure as hell wasn’t going to win today. “Look, I know you mean well, but the room’s already going to be bursting at the seams once Eric and Drew’s parents get back up here. Why don’t I text you once I know what’s going on and you can meet us at the

house?” “That’s fine,” I lied. Even though what Jason said made sense, I couldn’t help but feel as though I was being dismissed. There wasn’t room for me, and I wasn’t sure if that held true outside Drew’s hospital room. “I’ll call you when there’s more to tell.” Jason paused as if there was something he was trying to not say. With another long sigh, he added, “Don’t tell him I told you this, but Drew’s going to need you.” “I’ll be there for him as long as

he wants me around,” I responded, mostly as a reminder to myself that nothing was guaranteed. Despite Jason’s reassurance, I knew Drew could just as easily tell me to get the hell out of his house and never come back. “Why didn’t you tell me the two of you had been talking?” Jason asked, his voice low enough that I could barely hear him. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great but I was surprised to see your name on his phone this morning.” “There’s nothing to tell, really,” I admitted. “We went out the night I

stopped by your apartment, since you and Cam ditched the two of us so you could make up. Since then, it’s just been a few calls and texts back and forth. We’d talked about getting together if I was in the area, so I figured I’d try getting in touch with him today since you guys lost last night.” “Yeah, about that...” Jason’s voice became muffled and I realized he was talking to someone else. Someone who hadn’t been told to not come to the hospital. “When you talk to Drew, try to come up with a different reason for why

you texted him today. He’s still not dealing well with the outcome of the game.” “Why? It’s not like it was his fault,” I scoffed. “The other guy was an idiot to try running when he did.” “Well, it seems everyone in the world sees it that way with the exception of Drew and Mark,” Jason said. “If I were you, I’d also refrain from bringing up your opinion on the play. Maybe after all of this blows over, we’ll be able to convince him that no one hates him.” Jason asked me why I was in

town and I told him about the center. He seemed disturbed by the grim outlook and asked if there was anything he could do to help. Before I could answer him, he cut the call short telling me again that he’d call once he knew what time Drew would be going home. I tried to go back to analyzing the figures from the center, but none of them made sense. I hoped it was my headspace causing the issue, because otherwise we had major problems.

Chapter 5 I pushed the button to lower the bed when Jason left the room, but my peace and quiet was short-lived when I heard my dad’s voice booming through the halls. He didn’t seem pissed off, but he definitely wasn’t happy about something. I rolled to my side as best as I could and listened as he berated someone for not being able to give him any answers. “Look, you’ve already talked to him and he told you everything

he knows. You also questioned this good man for over an hour, and he told you what he saw. Now, I suggest you figure out what you can do with that to find the asshole who put my son in that hospital bed.” He was telling the cops how to do their job. Lovely. Knowing him, he’d be hounding their supervisor daily until whoever did this was caught. That was going to be difficult, seeing as I didn’t see my attacker. The only hope was that Eric gave them something concrete to go on.

The argument in the hall faded and I could almost see my dad following the cop into the elevator, forcing him to listen until he’d fully spoken his mind. I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing that it wasn’t going to do anything for the headache that was returning as the pain medication wore off. “Oh honey.” Mom rushed to the side of the bed and stroked her hand over my hair. I wished she wouldn’t since even that slight touch hurt like hell, but I wasn’t foolish enough to tell her as much.

“Hi Mom,” I greeted her. I opened my eyes, knowing that I’d once again lost an opportunity to sleep. It was as if no one understood that I needed to sleep in order to get better. Wasn’t that what she always told me when I was sick as a kid and didn’t want to be stuck in my bed? “Do you need some more medicine? Something to drink? Eric, could you be a dear and close the blinds so that sun isn’t beating down on his face? Let me go get the nurse.” I reached out and clamped my hand around Mom’s wrist. The woman

was exhausting to listen to. “Mom, sit.” “No, you need something for the pain,” she insisted as she tried wiggling out of my grip. “I’ll be back, just let me get the nurse in here first.” “Mom, I’m fine,” I argued. I began praying that Dad would come in and see that I was okay and he’d be ready to head back to Belmont. This might be the first time in my life I was grateful for his obsessive need to be in charge at the farm. “I’m sure it’ll only be a few minutes before the nurses are in here taking my blood pressure, poking

me, and all the other shit they do to make sure the patients don’t get any sleep.” Eric guffawed and I turned my head to look at him. He looked like hell. “You know what, Mom? Yeah, I think I’d like you to get the nurse for me. And while you’re at it, find out when those idiots plan on letting me eat something. If I didn’t know better, I’d think their treatment plan includes starving the patients so they don’t have to do anything.” “Andrew Joseph, watch your language,” Mom scolded me. Eric

thought that was hilarious. I glared at him, hoping he’d understand just how badly I wanted to punch him in the gut to shut him up. “I’ll go find out what’s going on.” The walls seemed to close in around me once Eric and I were alone. His entire body sagged when he sat next to me and he refused to look at me. “Hey, I guess I owe you a thank you or twenty.” Eric shrugged, but still stared at the floor. “What else was I going to do? I didn’t even know it was you, all I knew

was that if I didn’t do something, things would have been even worse. Anyone would have done the same thing.” “I’m not so sure about that,” I challenged. Sadly, I’d seen a few people out of my periphery last night before I blacked out, and not one of them tried to step in and stop what was happening. “Still, thank you for staying with me. And for helping my parents. Jason said they’re staying in Cam’s room?” Eric nodded. He was going to piss me off if he didn’t loosen up. I wanted to reach out and force him to

look at me, but I worried I’d wind up clubbing him with the cast on my arm. “Dammit Eric!” I picked up the plastic cup of water and threw it across the room. I would have expected some people to act uncomfortable around me, but not him. He was the one person I was hoping would understand all the shit running through my mind. “What’s your fucking problem?” Eric snapped, wiping drops of water off his arm. “You are now.” That got his attention. “You’re sitting here acting like

you did something wrong, when the truth is I don’t know if I’d be here right now if you hadn’t stepped in. Jason told me how bad it was, how the doctors were worried there’d be internal bleeding, brain damage, all that shit. It’s because of you that I’m here.” “Yeah, so people keep telling me.” Finally, Eric lifted his gaze. I almost regretted snapping on him the way I had, but I didn’t want his pity. “I just keep thinking that if I’d parked closer, I might have been able to stop that asshole before he knocked you to the

ground.” “And if you’d parked closer to the bar, you might have been inside and then you wouldn’t have even known anything happened,” I responded dryly. I raised the head of the bed again so I could get comfortable. I might be stuck in this fucking bed until the doctors signed off saying that I wasn’t going to keel over as soon as I walked outside, but I sure as fuck wasn’t going to look like a damn invalid. “A wise man once told me you can’t do a damn thing about what’s already happened so it’s not

worth wishing you could change it.” Jason laughed as he walked into the room. “Someone mark today on a calendar. Jackson actually admitted that I’m not full of shit.” “Fuck you,” I scoffed. “I promise, I won’t let it happen again if you’re going to make a big deal over it.” Jason pantomimed locking his lips before greeting Eric. I might have growled when I saw that his hands were empty. No coffee, no food. “You might want to turn your happy ass around and think about coming back with some

food.” Eric stood and squeezed my shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they get you something before you bite off someone’s head.” “At least someone’s looking out for me,” I grumbled. Eric winked on his way out the door, leaving Jason there shaking his head. “What?” “You two. He’s almost as bad as your mom and you don’t even see it.” Jason scrubbed the back of his neck, still uncomfortable with whatever he thought was going on between Eric and me.

“Look, before everyone gets back, there’s something you should know.” I got the feeling I wasn’t going to like whatever he had to say next. I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. “I called Bryce,” he admitted. I groaned and fell back against my pillows, flinching at the pain. “Look, you can kick my ass as soon as you’re up to it, but I know both of you. I could tell by the look on your face that you weren’t going to call him and I know he’s stubborn enough he’d keep trying until he got through. So, I called and let him

know what’s going on.” “Great, so now we’re going to start the parade of visitors?” Why was it so hard for everyone to understand that I didn’t want the whole world knowing what happened? I doubted that’d be possible for long, but the more people who knew, the more people would want to see me to make sure no one was lying about my condition, and all I wanted was food and a damn nap. “I told him you’re getting out of here sometime today, but he wants to see you.” Jason kept his tone soft, as though

he thought this was going to put me over the edge. He wasn’t entirely wrong. “I told him we were going back to Eric’s whenever they let you out of here and he said he’ll stop by later.” “Fine. I’m too tired to fight about this,” I conceded. “Just do me a favor.” “Name it,” Jason said confidently. If I’d pissed him off, he wasn’t showing it. That was good because I had a feeling it was only going to be a matter of days before everyone was sick of my brooding and short temper.

“Ask everyone else to wait until at least tomorrow before swooping in,” I pleaded. “Deal.” That’s when Eric walked in, a plate of toast in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. I could have kissed him. This was definitely not the way I planned to start my fall and winter break. I’d planned on having a few drinks with the guys after Jason guilted me into going out with them, coming

home, and doing absolutely nothing until we had to head to the clubhouse for meetings. Instead, I was sitting in the back seat of my parents’ SUV, cringing as Dad managed to hit every single pothole and bump in the road. If there was a part of my body that didn’t hurt, I hadn’t found it yet. Even my hair follicles ached from where the asshole who attacked me fisted his hand against my head before tossing me to the ground. The doctors repeatedly told me how lucky I was that I didn’t have more severe injuries, but I sure as

fuck didn’t feel lucky. Dad let out a low whistle as he pulled into the driveway at Eric’s house. This was the first time I’d seen their reaction to the place I’d called home for over a year. Dad always blamed it on Mom not being a fan of long drives, but I knew it was more that he didn’t trust anyone to take care of the farm long enough for him to take a few days off for a vacation. “This place is beautiful,” Mom praised. “If I’d known you had so much room, I might have run away from the

farm and stayed with you some of the time.” And wasn’t that a lovely thought. As much as I loved my parents, I shuddered at the thought of having them here more than a day or two. Mom wouldn’t be able to keep herself from hovering, and Dad would start trying to find projects around the house to keep his hands busy. I really hoped Eric and Jason could figure out a way to convince them to head back to Belmont because I was too worn out to think about anything other than falling into my bed, taking a

pain pill and passing out for the day. “Yeah, I got pretty lucky,” I responded, hissing because just the simple act of breathing hurt. “Eric didn’t want to get rid of the place when he was traded and the house was sitting empty when I came to town.” Eric’s car and another were in the driveway, and Jason’s truck pulled up before I could get myself situated so my feet were on the ground outside the truck. I looked to the back of the house and saw Eric and Bryce standing at the back door waiting for me.

Now that he was standing only a few yards away from me, I wished I had been dreaming when Jason told me that Bryce was in town and would be here when I got home. He and I had talked a fair bit while I was on the road, and we’d discussed getting together if he was in town again, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him to see me like this. My swollen, bruised face and casted arm weren’t exactly the best way to make a good impression on the guy. Unfortunately, none of that seemed to faze Bryce. He quickly crossed the lawn

and offered an arm to steady me. “I’ve got it,” I snapped at him, taking a step away. “Why are you here?” God, I sounded like such a dick, but there was nothing I could do about my shitty attitude. “Andrew Joseph, mind your manners,” Mom scolded me. She held out a hand to Bryce. “I’m Susan Jackson, and this is my husband Joe.” “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am,” Bryce answered. My mom smiled as they shook hands. “I’m Bryce Shaw.” “A pleasure to meet you,

although I wish it were under better circumstances.” Mom sighed heavily as she looked me over to make sure there weren’t any new injuries in the past fifteen minutes. “It’s good to know Drew will have a solid support system when we have to head home.” “Mom, stop it,” I scolded her. She always worried so damn much, and I didn’t want Bryce thinking I needed caretakers. Hell, Bryce lived on the other side of the country and was wasting one of his days here with my sorry ass. I sure as hell wasn’t going to

ask him to drop the work that’d brought him to the area just for me. “She’s right,” Bryce interrupted before I could continue my tirade. “You’re going to need friends here to help you. I know that probably pisses you off, but you’ll just have to get used to it.” The man sounded so damn smug. I wanted to tell him to get lost and forget my phone number, but I knew that was the lingering effects of the pain meds and my pride talking. I sure as hell wasn’t going to admit I was glad he was here.

“The only thing I need is my fucking bed,” I growled. “Then let’s quit standing around out here and get you inside,” Bryce offered, once again holding out his arm to steady me. I took two steps on my own before realizing what a chore it was to put one foot in front of the other. I begrudgingly wrapped my hand around his forearm, taking note of the way his muscles tensed under my touch. “Eric and I changed your sheets and picked up a bit, so your bed is all ready and waiting for you.”

After Jason’s lecture this morning, I wasn’t sure how I felt about having both Eric and Bryce in my personal space. I wanted to think they were just trying to help out a friend, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Jason was right about one or both of them. That was drama I didn’t need in my life. I could almost see the two of them fighting over who knew best how to help me. “Thanks,” I mumbled. It fucking sucked having everyone trying to take care of me, but Bryce was right. I wouldn’t have been able to do shit on

my own and I sure as hell didn’t want Mom walking in to see my pigsty of a bedroom. She would have spent hours in there trying to clean, and I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep. Dad followed us into the house, admiring the timber walls and vaulted ceilings. “Man, I think I went into the wrong line of work. The outside of the house was nice, but it doesn’t do justice to all of the craftsmanship in here.” Eric walked in at that moment and offered to take my dad on a tour of the house. I glanced over my shoulder

and offered him a quick thank you as I followed Bryce down the hall to my room. I’d have thought Eric would’ve shown them around when he brought them over earlier. Then again, I didn’t know how long they’d been gone from the hospital, other than it was less than two hours since that was all the longer I’d been allowed to sleep without interruption, so there may not have been time. It looked amazing. The bed was made to military precision and there was nothing out of place. It was like walking

into a hotel room. When I felt better, I was going to have to do something nice for Eric and Bryce for not only doing this for me, but for doing it so quickly. Every time I walked in here and thought about picking up, it seemed like a daunting task and I’d flop onto the bed with my laptop instead. Sun filtered in through the blinds, casting a golden glow over the walls. As I looked around at the clean top of the rustic dresser and the perfectly square corners of the quilt hand-sewn in shades of blue, I felt as though I were in a bed

and breakfast somewhere. I eased myself onto the bed, cursing when I stupidly tried reaching for a pillow. With as quickly as my mother appeared at my side, I wondered if she’d been standing outside the door waiting for me to need her. “Would you quit being stubborn?” she scolded me as she rushed across the room to fluff the pillows behind my back. “I know how much you hate asking for help, but for a little while, you’re going to have to suck it up.”

“Mom, I’m fine,” I insisted. I hated her treating me as though I was some sort of invalid. So I had some cracked ribs and a broken wrist, that didn’t mean I was incapable of taking care of myself. “I wasn’t thinking and twisted around to move the pillows, that’s all.” “You’re not fine, Andrew. You were beaten until you were unconscious less than twenty-four hours ago.” “Gee, thanks for reminding me,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “If not for you, I’d have completely forgotten how I

got all these bruises and cuts, not to mention the broken arm and cracked ribs.” “Don’t get smart with me,” Mom warned. “Now, is there anything else I can get you before you take a nap?” “A promise that you’ll all leave me alone so I can actually sleep?” I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Stupid fucking concussion meant it was going to be at least another twelve hours before I was allowed more than a few hours at a time. “That’s not going to happen, but

it was a nice try.” Mom patted my knee before puttering around to make sure everything I might possibly need was within arm’s reach. “I’ll be right back with your medicine and something to drink. When you wake up, I’ll make sure to have some lunch ready for you.” This was how my life was going to be for a while. Hopefully, within a day or two Dad would start itching to get home and then I’d only have to worry about my friends hovering over me. At least with them, I wouldn’t feel like a dick if I snapped. They were used to me

being a dick when I wasn’t feeling well. The sun had retreated over the top of the house by the time I woke up. I shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, flinching again because of the pain. Either I’d been asleep longer than I thought, or the pills didn’t do their job. “Morning, sleepyhead.” In my sleepy haze, it took me a minute to place the voice. I looked to my left and saw that Bryce had pulled a chair closer to the bed and had his feet propped on the edge of my mattress. He had the remote

in his hand and was watching some crime drama show. “What time is it?” I asked, inching myself up to a sitting position. I was uncomfortable as hell after sleeping in my clothes, but the thought of getting undressed was painful. “Almost six. I told your mom that I’d sit in here with you and wake you up when you needed to be,” he informed me with a sly grin on his face. “And she went for that?” The thought of my mom giving up control was completely out of character.

“Not without a bit of help,” Bryce admitted. “Eric asked her if she’d mind giving him some advice about the flower beds outside. I don’t think she realizes that he’s rarely here and has someone to do all of that for him.” Thank God for minor miracles. Mom loved her gardens and she’d probably have Eric regretting the suggestion soon. Every year, she got excited about planning which flowers to plant in each bed near the farm house that’d been in our family for five generations. Dad pretended to give her a

hard time about it, but as us kids got older, he knew it gave her something to focus on rather than dwelling on the fact that we were independent and didn’t need her for everything. “Did you wake me earlier?” I didn’t remember anyone waking me, and I couldn’t imagine I wouldn’t remember Bryce being the first person I saw when I woke up. “No, but don’t tell her that. Maybe it was the wrong call, but you seemed to be sleeping peacefully, so I decided to sit in here in case anything

went wrong,” he told me. “If you hadn’t woken up soon, I would have had to but that’s not an issue now, is it?” Now that I was thinking a bit more clearly and not worrying about how long my recovery was going to be, I was still confused by Bryce’s presence. We’d talked on the phone a few times over the past three weeks and texted almost daily, and he hadn’t once mentioned that he was going to be back in Milwaukee. In fact, the messages had dwindled to one a day over the past week or so. Part of that was my fault

because I’d been more concerned with the playoffs, but there’d been time for him to let me know he was coming back to town. “Why are you here?” I asked. I didn’t have the energy to be polite. “Do you mean here as in Wisconsin or here as in sitting next to your bed?” he asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “All of the above.” I tried reaching for the water bottle next to my bed and Bryce grabbed it for me. God, it was going to drive me batshit crazy if

everyone acted as if I couldn’t even do the simplest tasks without help. It might take me a bit longer to do things until my ribs healed, but I was still a grown man capable of caring for myself. Regardless, Bryce was only trying to be nice, so I didn’t bitch him out. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Bryce stood and turned his chair so we were facing one another. “When I got back to Portland after my last trip, the founder was even more concerned than he had been originally. He asked me if there

was anything that’d keep me from relocating temporarily to take a more hands-on approach to turning around the center. So, here I am.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” I sounded bitchy, but I didn’t care. I was under the assumption that we’d both had a good time the one night we spent together and wanted to do it again. Maybe do more than just hang out and have dinner. He shrugged. “You were busy. It’d always been my intention to call you once you were done for the season, but I

was hoping it wouldn’t be so soon.” “You and me both,” I scoffed. “You could have mentioned it, even in passing.” “I could have, but I didn’t. And that doesn’t matter right now,” he scolded me. “I sent you a message this morning, and Jason called to tell me what happened. I was going to come up and see you, but Jason thought it’d be better if I waited until you got home. After we hung up, I thought it might be a bad time to drop in on you, but I figured Jason wouldn’t have suggested it if he

didn’t think it’d help.” “I’m glad you did,” I admitted. “I hate that I’m laid up in bed, but it’s good to see you. Now, tell me what’s going on with the center.” Bryce’s brow furrowed as he told me how grossly mismanaged the center had been for a long time. Hearing him talk about the kids who lived at the center and might be back on the streets if circumstances didn’t change churned something in my gut. I felt closer to the situation today than I had the first time we’d talked, probably because I was

sitting in the comfort of my home nursing the wounds many of them had suffered as well. Although not everyone who knew I was gay was supportive, last night was the first time I’d truly feared for my life because of who I was attracted to. I wanted to do something to help. I didn’t want to waste my winter sitting around the house, only leaving to work out so I was in top form when I got on the plane for spring training. Even though my wounds would take time to heal, I knew how lucky I was. I had a roof over my head, money in the bank to

pay for my medical bills, and even though I knew they’d drive me crazy soon, I had friends and family supporting me through my recovery. “If you want, I could come down and help you.” I shifted higher on my pillows and turned off the television. The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a stupid idea. I didn’t have anything to offer, and I’d probably be more of a distraction than anything. Besides, those kids didn’t need another person in their lives who was going to bail within a few months.

“You can get better. I appreciate you wanting to help, but right now, I think you’re better off focusing on yourself.” I pounded my uncasted fist into the mattress. This was exactly the bullshit I wasn’t looking forward to. Even though I doubted it’d be worthwhile for me to volunteer at the center, it pissed me off that he used my injuries as an excuse. There had to be something I could do. It’s not like I was trying to suggest I start running drills with the kids. That wasn’t the type of

help they needed. They needed what most of us take for granted: security. “Don’t do that shit, Bryce,” I warned him. “I’m going to have enough people coddling me without you doing it as well. I want to do something. I’m going to go out of my fucking mind if I’m not allowed to do anything other than sit around the house all day.” Bryce reached up and ran his hand down my arm. I swallowed hard, hating how good his touch felt. Although we weren’t close, he was familiar to me. He knew better than to placate me with

words. His eyes met mine and I offered him a slight smile as our fingers met. We sat there a moment, both of us staring down at our linked hands. This felt like the excitement I’d heard people talk about when they realized they were with the person who’d eventually be someone special in their lives. “Okay.” That was all he said, but I hoped that meant I’d gotten through to him and he wasn’t going to try playing nursemaid. His hand slid out of mine as he stood and I immediately missed the warmth of his skin on mine. “I’m going

to get something to eat. Would you like something?” “God yes.” The last time I’d eaten a real meal was before yesterday’s game, which seemed like a lifetime ago. I’d appreciated Eric getting me something this morning, but it seemed like the toast made me even hungrier. And then everyone kept telling me I needed to wait to make sure it didn’t make me sick, and I was left ravenous again. As Bryce walked out of the room, I allowed myself to think about

what it’d be like having someone I was interested in so close for a while. It’d been easy to keep from getting involved with anyone since I’d always put my focus on baseball, but Bryce was making me realize what a lonely existence that had been.

Chapter 6 I was beat by the time Drew’s mom finally decided it was safe for her to go to bed. I sat down on the sofa in the great room and turned on the TV but quickly realized that wasn’t a good idea. The light and sound echoing off the high ceilings would keep Drew’s parents awake, so I hit the power button, collected a few snacks and headed toward the basement. As I passed Drew’s room, I

heard faint moaning. I peeked my head around the side of the door and saw his body jerking. “Stop,” he pleaded. “Why me? Why? I’ll give you anything you want…” It quickly became apparent that he was reliving last night’s ordeal. God, had it really only been one night? I dropped the snacks and six pack of beer near the door and quickly crossed the room to his side. Because it’s what my own mother had done when I’d had restless nights, I dropped to the mattress next to Drew and carded my fingers

through his hair. “It’s okay,” I soothed him. “It’s just a dream, buddy. No one’s going to hurt you here.” He tried curling into a ball on his side and woke with a start. When he rolled over to face me, his eyes were vacant, almost as if he was still sleeping. I kept talking to him as I rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re okay, Drew. I promise.” “What happened?” he asked. “You had a dream,” I told him, keeping my voice low enough that it

wouldn’t carry through the house because I doubted he wanted his parents to see him this way. “I walked past your room and heard you.” Drew looked embarrassed. That was stupid, because the man had nothing to be ashamed of. I was trying to keep from going to sleep myself, because I knew damn well the images from last night were going to haunt me as well. They already had the two times I’d tried to turn off my brain. “Thanks,” he said, pulling the covers up under his chin. “God, I need a

shower. I feel like hell.” “Can you manage on your own?” It wasn’t as if seeing a naked man was all that unusual. Athletes quickly lost any sense of modesty when they were serious about sports. It was part of why most of us tried to keep it under wraps that we were gay. We didn’t use the locker room as a way to perv on our buddies or anything, but that didn’t mean the straight guys wouldn’t be uncomfortable if they knew. In my mind, it seemed even worse to not tell them, because that made it seem as if there

was something wrong with us. Drew pushed off the mattress and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. He got about halfway to a standing position before falling back to the bed. “Fuck, this sucks.” He tried again and I fisted my hands into the sheets to keep from rushing to his aid. I could only imagine how helpless he felt after having his mother all but threatening to strap him to the bed if he didn’t stay there. She didn’t understand that he’d never get better if he just laid around all day. It was going

to hurt like a bitch, but he needed to be up and moving around so his body didn’t stiffen even further. After a second failed attempt, I walked around to his side of the bed and offered him my arm for support. “Hey, you’re going to be fine,” I assured him. “Needing a little help for a few days won’t kill you.” “It might,” he grumbled. The half bath across the hall from his room was barely big enough for the two of us, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by suggesting we go to my room with the

full bath and larger walk-in shower. “It only seems like that,” I chided. I waited until he was leaning against the vanity and eased my way past him to turn on the water. The only blessing about this bathroom was that the shower was the walk in kind rather than a tub and shower combo. “Come on, let’s get that hospital funk cleaned off of you.” “Yeah, because that’s the worst of it.” I’d heard that Drew was a moody bastard, but until now I hadn’t experienced it for myself. I pretended to

not hear his comment and held my hand under the stream of water to make sure it was warm enough. Drew fumbled with the hem of his T-shirt, trying to pull it up without moving too much. Every time he moved, his face contorted, betraying how much pain he had to still be in. Rather than worry about getting him a towel, or even how he was going to manage to stay upright in the shower, I reached for the cotton and slowly pulled it over his head. He tensed when the backs of my fingers grazed the bruises

on his side. “Hey, you’re okay.” “Yeah, I’m fine,” he affirmed. I eased the shirt over his head and allowed him to pull it down his arm and drop it to the floor. Luckily, it was easier for him to shimmy out of his sweatpants, because I was quickly realizing that this was nothing like being in the locker room. I’d never had an issue looking at another man and remembering he was off-limits, but that was hard with Drew. We’d spent much of the week I’d been home hanging out when he wasn’t at the club, and I’d

grown to care about him. Not in some gushy, romantic, chick flick way, but he was someone I hoped to get to know better over the winter. We hadn’t talked much, but that was because we both knew the other wasn’t up for that. I didn’t have to worry about him striking up a conversation to simply fill the dead air, and I knew better than to try and get his mind off worrying about the next game. I knew Drew had a lot of shit swirling through his head. As much as he tried to pretend he wasn’t upset by Cam

and Jason’s relationship, I knew it was hard on him. I knew better than he could possibly realize, although I hadn’t found a way to share that with him. It seemed like a betrayal for me to share my own story without Sean’s knowledge since it involved him as well. Sean and I had been best friends back when I was still with the Mavericks. It started as roommates and someone to hang out with on days off but eventually morphed into something more. I knew he never saw it as anything other than a safe way for the two of us to

release the sexual tension from building up to the point where we did something foolish, but that wasn’t what it was to me. As the months dragged on and one season turned into two and then three, I began to feel something for him. Something he’d made it abundantly clear he didn’t want. Without realizing how uncomfortable I was becoming, Drew allowed his pants and briefs to fall to the floor. It seemed he had no issues being naked around other people as he made no move to shield or cover himself. He

stepped away from the vanity with one shaky step and reached back for support. “Fuck, is everything on me fucked up?” Yeah, it was, but I wasn’t about to say that. While the attacker hadn’t done any real damage to Drew’s leg, his knee was bruised and swollen. His entire torso was a kaleidoscope of color that was only going to get worse over the next few days. Drew tried again to take the four steps from the sink to the shower, this time making it to the door before having to reach out to the wall. It quickly

became apparent a shower was not going to happen. “Fuck, this is embarrassing.” Drew leaned against the wall and hung his head while I tried to keep my eyes from wandering to the perfect bubble of his ass or his lightly furred thighs. Drew turned his head to look at me and I quickly averted my eyes to every inane detail of my bathroom walls. “I can’t even take a fucking shower by myself. Twenty-five fucking years old and I’m totally helpless.” Two things about that statement

struck me in the gut. First, was the obvious pain and humiliation Drew felt. Whether or not it was logical, I understood what he was feeling. Second, I felt like an asshole for checking out a guy over ten years my junior. In six weeks, I’d be thirty-six. Not an old man by any stretch, but ancient in our world. And way too old to be sporting wood over someone his age. “Give it time,” I said, knowing I was going to regret what I was about to do. I grabbed the hem of my own shirt and started stripping to my shorts. It

wasn’t ideal, but they were dark and I could pretend I was wearing swim trunks. “I’ll help you and then we’ll get you back into bed.” “You don’t have to do that,” Drew insisted. “Do you have a better idea?” I asked drily. “If you’d rather, I can run upstairs and let your mom know that you need a sponge bath.” It was a shitty move to threaten him with his mother, but it did the trick. I saw the moment Drew conceded defeat as his shoulders slumped forward and

his head hung even lower to his chest. “You’re an asshole.” “I know.” I chuckled as I pulled two towels out of the cabinet and set them on the edge of the vanity. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up a bit and back to your room before the warden realizes you’ve escaped.” That had the intended effect, and Drew huffed a silent laugh. It wasn’t much, but I’d take whatever I could get if it got him out of his own head for a few minutes. I eased Drew into the shower

and pulled the door closed behind us. He still fought the urge to tell me to get the fuck out of there and let him do this on his own, but he stood there stiff as a board as I reached around him for a washcloth and the bar of soap in the holder. My dick apparently hadn’t gotten the memo that this was nothing more than one roommate helping another and it grew harder every time Drew moaned as I ran my hands over his skin. He leaned back against my chest and I shifted, certain that my erection would press

torturously between his ass checks. “That feels amazing,” Drew praised. “You’re a good friend, Eric.” He could claim that, but I sure as hell didn’t feel like one. I felt as though I were taking advantage of the situation. My mind urged me to push the boundaries and drop the scrap of terrycloth to the floor so I could feel the soapy glide of my hands on his rippled stomach. It’d be so easy to allow my fingers to tease the smattering of dark blond hair leading to his cock. To wrap my fingers around it and see how he’d

moan in pleasure as I stroked him. With one hand on his shoulder to steady him, I took a step back, needing space between our bodies. Drew reached out to me. I wanted to believe it was because he wanted me as much as I wanted him, but that was ludicrous. I wasn’t certain, but given the amount of time Bryce had spent in his room today, I assumed they were together. That was just one more reason for Drew to be off-limits. The cons to even entertaining thoughts of burying myself deep in his ass outweighed the

pros. I held Drew’s shoulders and positioned him under the spray of water as I handed him the washcloth. He looked ridiculous standing there trying to keep his casted arm out of the spray of water while the terrycloth dangled from his other hand. “Here, I think you can manage the rest.” I stared through the mist-covered shower door, trying to make out the shapes in the wallpaper on the other side of the room, knowing he was washing his most private areas. I nearly choked

on my own saliva as I swallowed to keep from drooling or from opening my mouth to suggest helping him. The flow of water stopped, leaving both of us dripping wet and cold. I forgot how icy this bathroom was to shower in if the baseboard heater wasn’t turned on. I shivered and stepped out for the towels, handing one to Drew without turning to look at him. I’d already pushed my self-restraint further than could possibly be healthy. While Drew dried off, I raced down the hall to my room, hoping I

wasn’t leaving puddles of water on the hardwood floors. If he needed help, he’d ask and I needed a moment to calm myself down. I could not fall for my much younger, vulnerable roommate. I also couldn’t ever let him hear me refer to him as vulnerable. Injured or not, he’d likely kick my ass from here to the state line. “Eric.” Drew’s voice calling to me pulled me out of my selfrecriminations. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants as I hurried down the hall. He’d managed to hobble his way

back to his bedroom, but stood in front of his dresser staring at the bottom drawer. “Stupid fucking ribs,” he muttered. “Can’t even bend over to get a damn pair of pants for myself.” I squeezed his shoulder when I stepped up behind him. “You’ve gotta knock off that self-pity bullshit,” I scolded him. “It really isn’t working for you and it’s starting to annoy the hell out of me.” “Gee, sorry I’m bothering you,” he sulked. I closed my eyes tightly and

pursed my lips to keep from saying something stupid. “If you could just get me a pair of pants out of the bottom drawer, you can go back to your happy little bubble.” I sighed heavily, willing myself to be patient with him. It’d only been twenty-seven hours since the attack, and he was used to being independent. It had to be an adjustment for him. “Actually, I was thinking I’d sneak you down to the basement and we could watch a movie or something,” I told him. I didn’t look at him because I

didn’t want him to see that I did feel bad for him. The only thing worse than selfpity was others taking pity on you when you’re down. “It’s gotta be boring as hell to lay in your bed and your mom’s probably sound asleep by now. What do you say?” “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” I steadied Drew while allowing him to dress himself. It looked awkward and I could tell it hurt, but I was bound and determined to prove that I didn’t see him as some sort of cripple. He was perfectly capable of doing shit for

himself. He just needed to learn how to adapt until he was more mobile. The beer and chips were still sitting on the floor right inside Drew’s bedroom door. The beer had gotten warm and I wasn’t hungry, so I excused myself to put everything back in the kitchen while he made his way to the stairs. “Do you want a sandwich or something? You haven’t had much.” “Yeah, that’d be good. Thank you.” I nodded and turned away. It was better than holding my breath as I

watched him, waiting to make sure his knee didn’t buckle again. Wisely, Drew waited for me at the top of the stairs and we headed into the basement. I didn’t bother turning on the lights, since part of me hoped that at least one of us would be able to get a bit of sleep. He needed it more than I did, but I couldn’t guarantee exhaustion wouldn’t get the better of me. I helped Drew get comfortable at one end of the couch and pressed my body up against the opposite arm, putting as much space between us as I could.

My dick was still threatening to spring to life every time I looked at him and no amount of silent pleading did a damn thing to shut it down. There wasn’t much on in the middle of the night, so I settled on an action flick from the late eighties. The effects were embarrassingly simplistic and the plot nonexistent. That didn’t matter, because it was a fucking classic I’d loved watching when I was in middle school. “Oh, my God! How can you watch this shit?” Drew laughed at the

stilted dialogue. “Seriously, if this is the quality you’re looking for, you might as well turn on some porn. At least then we could both rub one out.” My mouth gaped open as I stared at Drew. He smiled wickedly, and I knew he’d said that on purpose. One glance toward his waist revealed that at least one part of his body was uninjured and ready to go. It’d be so easy. He wanted this. “Yeah, that’d be swell,” I scoffed. “Knowing my luck, that’d be the time your mom woke up and started

searching the house for you. She’d come down here and scream at me for taking advantage of you.” Drew shifted closer to me. Every small movement sent a flare of pain across his face, but he was determined. My breathing grew labored as I watched him, trying to find the words to stop him. “What if I told her that I’m the one taking advantage of you?” His casted arm hit the back of the couch with a soft thud as his other hand slid up my leg. “I want you to show me that I’m not broken. Show me that I can feel

something other than pain.” God, I wanted to be that person for him. I wanted to show him everything he needed and more. But I couldn’t, not yet. Not so soon after the attack when he was on painkillers and likely not making the best decisions. As much as it killed me to do so, I pushed Drew away before we were incapable of stopping what felt inevitable. I briefly leaned in to kiss a bruise on the side of his face. He needed to know I wasn’t rejecting him, I was simply trying to do the right thing.

“Maybe we should head upstairs,” I told him. I stood and held out my hand to him. Drew simply shook his head. “I think I’m going to stay down here a bit longer. You go up, I’ll be fine.” When I looked back as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw a mask of indifference where there’d so recently been lust. I hoped he’d understand that walking away from him was one of the hardest things I’d ever done off the field.

Chapter 7 I felt her presence before I opened my eyes. When I did, my mind took a trip back in time to when I was a teenager and slept in the basement after sneaking in from one of the team’s parties. Even though she was barely over five feet tall, Mom towered over me with her hands on her hips, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. “Andrew Joseph, what exactly do you think you’re doing down here?”

She lectured me as she began picking up the throw pillows off the floor. I had no clue how they got there and could barely give her an answer as to how I got to the couch in the media room. I looked down and saw that I was wearing a pair of ratty, faded sweatpants and nothing else. Memories of last night started creeping to the forefront of my mind. Eric waking me when I had a nightmare. Him helping me shower to get the dirt and hospital grime off my body. His body pressing against mine. His hands gliding over my body as he

washed me. I quickly covered my lower half with an afghan to keep Mom from seeing my predicament. Then I remembered him walking away from me. Rejecting me. And suddenly there was nothing to hide. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” I admitted. “Eric was up and suggested we come down here so we wouldn’t wake you. I must’ve fallen asleep.” Mom sucked in a sharp, disapproving breath. “That’s probably because you were worn out and had no business traipsing all over the house.

Now, let’s get you back to your bed.” “Mom, I’m fine,” I snapped. She retreated, her shoulders slumped forward. I hated when she did that. It was as though she took my declaration as a personal affront. It wasn’t, I just needed my space. I reached out to her and draped my good arm over her shoulders as I kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” “You always were a stubborn, grouchy ass when you didn’t feel well.” Mom sighed, and I knew we’d get past

this. Or at least I hoped we would, but she’d need to see that I wasn’t completely dependent on anyone, even with cracked ribs and a broken arm. “I know you think I’m a pain in your backside, but that’s only because I worry about you. You might be a grown man and a hot-shot athlete now, but a mother never stops worrying about her baby boy.” “Yes Mom,” I grumbled. “But please don’t call me your baby boy in front of the guys. They’ll use that against me for the rest of my career.”

“Okay sweetie,” she promised as she reached up to pat my cheek. “Now, let’s get you upstairs. Eric was up before your father and I and he’s making breakfast.” Eric never cooked. Or at least he hadn’t in the week since he’d gotten home. I couldn’t remember if he had last winter or not, but then again I wasn’t around as much since I’d gone home to help my parents. They needed my help, whether they’d admit it or not. I glared at the stupid fucking cast on my arm, knowing that I’d be worthless to them

for a while. When we got upstairs, Eric poured me a cup of coffee and dumped three spoonfuls of sugar into the mug before handing it to me. My stomach did this stupid little flip thing over the knowledge that he knew how I liked my coffee. Most of the guys thought it was disgusting, but I didn’t drink the shit because it tasted good. I’d had my first cup when I was eight and I’d needed the sugar to make it palatable. Ever since then, I hadn’t seen a need to cut back. “Thanks,” I said as I eased

myself onto one of the stools at the kitchen island. My mom said something about leaving the two of us alone while she got dressed for the day. It wasn’t necessary, but I figured it was her way of trying to let me know she wasn’t going to be up my ass the whole time they were there. “So, what’s for breakfast?” “Eggs and bacon. I didn’t want them eating cold cereal and figured you’d want something a bit more substantial as well,” he informed me. Again, I was touched by Eric’s

thoughtfulness. “You didn’t have to go out of your way,” I reminded him. This was his house and he was already doing enough just by opening the doors to my family. I didn’t want him thinking it was his job to cater to us as well. “It’s not a problem. Really.” He offered me a quick smile before turning back to the stove. “By the way, Mason and Sean are coming over in a bit. I thought about telling them to hold off, but then I figured Asher might be a good distraction for your mother.”

Babies were always the perfect distraction for a woman who felt an obsessive need to care for others. It’d even be worth listening to whatever bad jokes Mason wanted to tell, just to have her otherwise occupied for a while. “Thanks for the heads up. I’m going to go get dressed.” “Holler if you need me,” Eric offered without taking his attention off breakfast. That was the type of help I wanted to have around. He knew enough to tell me he was there if I needed him, but didn’t offer to follow me down the

hall and pick out my outfit for the day. I groaned when I walked into my bedroom and found the bed made and an outfit laying at the foot. So much for Mom backing off a bit. I sat down gingerly, feeling every single scrape, bruise, and cracked bone in my body since I hadn’t had any pain pills this morning. If the pain became unbearable I’d take something, but I wanted to hold off as long as possible. I struggled to get my arms into the button down shirt and then stared at my reflection in the mirror. After about a

minute of fumbling, I called out for Eric because I wasn’t getting anywhere with the buttons. Eric leaned against the door frame, watching me as I continued my battle with the shirt. “Are you going to help me or stand there laughing?” “I don’t know, this is somewhat amusing to watch,” he admitted as he crossed the room. I turned to face him and closed my eyes as the backs of his fingers brushed across my chest. Until yesterday, I honestly hadn’t thought about Eric as anything more than a roommate,

possibly a friend, but now that Jason had planted a seed in my head, it seemed to be all I could think about. Last night sure as fuck wasn’t helping. As Eric dressed me, my mind floated back to last night, remembering how it felt when he undressed me and helped me get cleaned up. Yes, I’d been embarrassed that I needed his help, but having him so close to me, catching the faintest whiff of his cologne as he steadied me had me wishing I wasn’t injured for other reasons. I wanted to be whole, to shove him down onto my bed

and suck his cock to the back of my throat. Once he finished buttoning my shirt, he turned his attention to the sleeve that was stretched over my cast. My chest ached because I knew deep down that he was only trying to be helpful. His actions weren’t because he wanted to fuck me, they were fueled by his desire to be a good human being. I swallowed around the lump in my throat before muttering a quick thanks. “Like I’ve said every other time, it’s not a problem. You’d do the same for

me if roles were reversed.” That was true, but I bet he wouldn’t be standing here getting hard if I was helping him. He took a step back and looked over my appearance. For a moment, I could’ve sworn his eyes lingered over my jeans. My cheeks flushed as I turned away. Eric cleared his throat. “You look good.” The floors were cold since I was walking around barefoot, but I couldn’t cave and ask Eric to get me a pair of socks out of the drawer and help me pull them on. I made a mental note to send Mom out to get me some slippers later.

It’d get her out of the house for a while if nothing else. Giving her busy work seemed the best plan of attack to keep from losing my mind. It turned out that I didn’t need to ask Eric because he quickly figured out what was making me shuffle from one foot to the other. Eric led me to the bed and gently pushed on my shoulders until I took the not-so-subtle hint. Although there was nothing to hide, I felt uncomfortably exposed as I watched him open the top drawer of my dresser. He knelt between my legs when he returned and carefully

lifted one foot off the cold floor. “Look, I know this is tough for you, but you need to be willing to ask for help when you need it,” he scolded me. “I know,” I sulked. “I guess I just don’t want you getting sick of having to do shit for me. After all, I’m just the kid who needed a place to stay when I first moved to town.” Eric’s leaned back on his heels and looked up at me with sad, wide eyes. “Do you really think that’s all you are?” he asked as he ran his hands down my calves. By the way he watched me,

waiting for me to say something in response, I wasn’t sure he even knew what he was doing. “Uh, yeah,” I responded sarcastically. “Probably because it’s the truth.” Eric curled his fingers around the footboard to pull himself closer to me. His hands finally came to rest on my hips. He was so close, too close. “If we’d been having this conversation a year ago, then yeah, you would’ve been that kid. But now, I’d like to think we’re friends at the very least,” he admitted.

“Although, I’ve got to tell you, helping a friend has never been as hard on me as it was last night.” My dick twitched and I wondered if he felt the same spark of attraction I’d felt. I reached out and cupped his cheek when he smiled up at me. I ran my hand over the stubble on his jaw, inhaling deeply because I fucking loved the way he smelled. “Yeah, we’re friends,” I assured him. I bit my tongue to keep from asking him why he’d pushed me away if he felt the same as I did. “Then again, I don’t make a habit of

asking my friends to help me out in the shower, and I can’t guarantee you I won’t be yelling for you every night.” “Fuck,” Eric groaned. “Well, then you should know I’m only human. There’s no way I can promise you that I’ll be able to keep my hands from exploring if I’m going to be forced to clean you every night.” I glanced over to the door, praying no one walked in. It felt as though we’d reached some sort of turning point, and I wanted to see where this conversation led. We could never be

everything to one another, but we sure as hell could see how much sex we could have between now and February. “That’s fine by me,” I promised Eric. “As long as you don’t plan on wearing your shorts every night.” I spread my legs further as I inched toward the end of the bed. Eric looked down and noticed the way my cock was trying to break the zipper on my jeans. “I want you, Eric.” I was so hard, I didn’t give a shit if I had to beg him. I wanted him to be the one to give

me what I needed. “Please. I’m not asking you because my head’s fucked up from the drugs. I’m not asking you out of desperation because of what happened to me. I’ve wanted you for a while, but I didn’t know how to tell you.” He quirked an eyebrow and I nodded, biting my lower lip to keep from begging him to do something. The muscles in my stomach tensed as Eric popped the button. “Lay back,” he suggested as he ran his hand from my waist up to my shoulder, easing me down to the

mattress. I tried to prop myself up on my elbows, but the position sent sharp, almost nauseating pain through my torso, so I laid back and allowed myself to simply feel what Eric was doing to my body. “You sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want to hurt you.” The compassion was touching, but I was going out of my mind. His concern was touching, but I needed this. I needed him to be the one person who didn’t act as though I was fragile. “Eric, if you don’t shut the fuck up and do something, I’m going to shut you up,” I

warned him. He chuckled as he muttered something about me being a moody bastard. My hips bucked off the bed as Eric’s calloused hand wrapped around my length. “Is that better?” he asked teasingly. I groaned, then bit back a moan when the pointed tip of Eric’s tongue dipped into my slit. “Fuck yes,” I ground out, trying to keep from writhing in pleasure when he sucked my tip into his mouth. “God, don’t stop.” Eric tugged at the waistband of

my jeans and I lifted enough for him to pull them lower on my hips. His fingernails dug into my skin and I smiled at the idea of having marks on my body from something other than getting the shit kicked out of me. I felt his plump lips wrap around me again and it was impossible to resist the urge to thrust into his mouth. He groaned around me as he took me to the back of his throat then swallowed. There was nothing sweet or intimate about the way I fucked his mouth. Eric took everything I gave him

and dug his fingers into my ass as if begging me to give him even more. A sheen of sweat coated my body, and I fisted the sheets as I felt his middle finger shove between my ass cheeks. He taunted my hole, never breaching my entrance as he sucked my cock hard and fast. Even if I’d have wanted to, there was no way I could stop my orgasm as it crashed through my body. I tried to push Eric away, but he sucked harder and faster, swallowing every drop of my cum. By the time he stood up and moved

onto the bed next to me, both of us were struggling to catch our breath. I ran the tip of my index finger over his swollen lips and my eyes rolled back in my head as he sucked that into his mouth as well. “God, I’d have thought you’d have gotten enough already,” I teased. “I’m just getting started,” he quipped after releasing my finger. “Fuck, if I’d have known you wouldn’t get pissed, I’d have done this a long time ago.” If there was one thing I’d learned from last night, it was that life’s way too

fucking short for regrets. Yeah, it would have been much more entertaining to stay here last winter, fucking and getting fucked, but nothing either of us could do would change that. On the other hand, now that I knew what the man was capable of, I had every intention of exploiting his mouth again very soon. I couldn’t bring myself to go so far as to tell Eric that I wanted to do this again, but I think he knew. We laid there together, him running his fingers through my hair as I waited for my heartbeat to slow to something more reasonable. I

knew I was going to be sore when I tried to get up, but it was worth it to know I wasn’t working my way into a fullblown crush on yet another man who’d never reciprocate. The sound of someone pounding on my bedroom door interrupted me from basking in the afterglow of an amazing orgasm. “Yeah?” I yelled, choking back a laugh as I watched Eric get to work trying to dress me once again. This time, I didn’t bother to tell him that I could manage on my own. I was beginning to see the benefit of needing help with

certain tasks, especially if it led to more hot times with Eric. “If you’re about done in there, you have company,” Jason informed me. My cheeks heated so much I was sure they were beet red. I threw my good arm over my face, mortified by the thought that I may not have been as quiet as I’d thought. If my parents had heard what was going on, I might be forced to walk down to the beach and throw myself into Lake Michigan. “Do you think he knows?” I asked.

Eric shrugged. “Would you give a shit if he does?” “I guess not,” I conceded. “But if he knows, then so does whoever else is out there. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not quite ready to profess my undying love and devotion.” “Gee, you really know how to make a guy feel special,” Eric huffed. That made me remember Jason’s warning from yesterday. I reached out to Eric, hoping to ease his mind. It wasn’t that I couldn’t possibly, someday in the distant future, have feelings for someone

like him, but it wasn’t going to be today, or this month, or even this year. “It’s okay Drew, I was giving you a hard time.” “In case you haven’t heard, I’m recovering from some rather serious injuries,” I scolded him. “I’m pretty sure the doctors in charge of my care wouldn’t appreciate knowing that you have no problem trying to freak me the hell out. If my blood pressure goes up, it’s all your fault.” This time, Eric barked out a hearty laugh as he wrapped his arm

around my waist. “Babe, there’s no doubt in my mind that your blood pressure is high right now, but it’s not because of anything I said. I’m pretty sure that has everything to do with the fact that I just blew your mind in more ways than one.” With that, Eric turned and walked out of my bedroom, leaving my mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Whatever I thought I knew about Eric Sapp, it was obvious I had a lot to learn.

Chapter 8 As soon as I saw Eric walk out of Drew’s bedroom, I knew it’d been a mistake to come back today. I’d wondered what was going on between Eric and Drew yesterday, but there was no doubt in my mind that there was more than Jason told me when Eric came out with his lips swollen and still wet. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the couch and quickly turned to the door. If I hurried, I could get out of there before

Drew saw me. I’d have to explain my hasty departure to him later, but I could blame it on something coming up at the center. “Hey, where are you going?” Jason asked as he closed the door before I could escape. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that we now had everyone in the room’s attention. “I forgot that I have some stuff to take care of at the center,” I lied. Jason sighed and cocked his head toward the door. He followed me outside and stood in the middle of the path to the driveway.

“Cut the bullshit.” Jason crossed his arms tightly over his chest, waiting to see if I’d lie to him again. “I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing, but you’re not going to bail without even seeing Drew.” “Looked to me like he won’t even notice.” I hated how petulant I sounded. “Between you, his parents, and Eric, I’m pretty sure it’s a full house already.” “Bryce, don’t be like that.” “Are you going to try telling me there’s nothing going on between those

two?” I challenged him. “Yeah, I am,” Jason responded firmly. “Look, I’m not going to insult you and say they weren’t fooling around, because I’m pretty sure they were. But even so, I know Eric well enough to know he’s not about to get involved with another ball player, especially one who lives so far away during the season.” That didn’t make me feel better. I knew Drew didn’t owe me anything, but it pissed me off to know he’d practically pushed me out of the house last night and then felt well enough to do whatever he

and Eric had been in there doing for the past half-hour. I was fine with casual sex, but that’s never what it’d felt like when I’d thought about Drew. Jason seemed to sense my internal struggle and draped his arm over my shoulder as he led me to the back of the property. The wind off the lake gave a bitter chill to the air and I wished we were back inside. Jason didn’t seem to have the same issue, even though he was only wearing a lightweight Henley, compared to my insulated leather jacket. He came to an abrupt halt and sat in the

grass that was still wet from an early morning rain. I stood there staring at him and finally sat when I realized he wasn’t going to give me anything else until I sat next to him. “There’s a huge house back there and an awesome patio set, and yet you thought it’d be best to sit in the grass and freeze our asses off?” I asked. The cold was doing nothing to improve my aggravated mood. “It’s kind of become a thing over the past few years,” he told me, staring out over the rough water. “Whenever

anyone in our group is having a rough time, we come out here. Hell, there was one time when Mason and Sean were still trying to figure out where their relationship was going when they drove up here from Chicago just to talk.” “Seems a bit extreme if you ask me.” Even though I’d spent most of my life in the same part of the country, I never had a single place I’d go whenever I needed to think. If I was being honest, I was a bit jealous that all these guys had this little bit of peace in their chaotic worlds.

“Perhaps, but it seems to do the trick.” Jason stretched his legs out in front of his body, crossing his ankles as he leaned back. If the cold or damp was affecting him at all, he didn’t show it. “Now, I’m bringing you here because I think you need to start talking.” “Jason, I know you think you’re being a good friend, but it’s really unnecessary,” I insisted. “Drew’s a great guy, but I’ve never been the type to go after someone who’s interested in someone else.” “Even if you know you’re the

better choice?” Jason challenged. “Who says I am?” I wasn’t accustomed to feeling insecure, and that just pissed me off even more. “He and Eric have a lot more in common. They know what they’re getting into and won’t get bitchy if they don’t see one another as often as they like. Not to mention, there’s no telling when I’ll be heading back to Portland.” “Bullshit. I’ve known you long enough to know that you wouldn’t have even kept his number in your phone if you didn’t like him.” That was true. I’d

lost count of how many times I’d gotten a guy’s phone number and deleted it from my contacts list before I’d even left the bar. Still, I meant it when I said that I’m not into playing games and I’m man enough to know when it’s time to take a step back. I shrugged and started picking at the blades of grass next to me. My pants were already soaked through, which was going to make for a long day if Jason kept up with his plan to keep me here. “So what are you suggesting?” This was uncharted territory for

me. And as much as I hated to admit it, Jason’s words were getting to me. I knew there was something about Drew that was worth fighting for if I could get past what I’d seen. “Get your ass back in there and act like nothing’s changed,” Jason suggested as if it were that simple. “If things were different, if Drew wasn’t hurt, I doubt you’d be ripping his clothes off him and shoving him onto the bed. You don’t operate that way when you’re looking for something that’ll last longer than an hour or two. So, you get in there

and be a friend just like the rest of us.” “And if I’m right and you’re wrong?” God, I really wasn’t liking this insecurity at all. It went against everything I stood for. “Then you’ll figure out how to be happy for him. Look, the one thing I can tell you is that both of those guys have their own issues they’re dealing with. And not that it’ll make you feel any better, but today you’ll get to see both of them spending time with the new partners of the men they were in love with.” That was exactly what I wanted to

avoid. I wasn’t in love with Drew, but I couldn’t think of anything less compelling than sitting around watching the two of them growing closer to one another while I’m relegated to the position of the third wheel on a bicycle. “If nothing else, you’ll walk out of here tonight with a few new friends.” No longer able to take the bonechilling cold, I pushed myself off the grass. I felt better than I had when I walked out of the house, but that had more to do with the company than the scenery. Although, yeah, there was

something calming about sitting near the water watching the waves crashing against the rocks below. I followed Jason back into the house and avoided making eye contact with anyone. I was still the outsider, and they’d all seen my jealous outburst. The only people not eying me carefully hadn’t been here when I’d walked out. Drew looked over at me and had the decency to blush and look away. That should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. It made me feel like an ass because Jason was right. Drew didn’t

owe me anything, and it wasn’t his fault that he and I obviously had different ideas on what we were to one another. I straightened my back and held my shoulders high as I crossed the room to say hello to him. I could feel everyone watching us, but I didn’t let that stop me. “Hey, how are you feeling?” I wanted to go somewhere a bit more private to talk to him, but didn’t want him getting up if he was comfortable. It would’ve been nice if everyone else could read my mind and suddenly found somewhere else they

needed to be. “Sore as hell, but I’ll live,” he responded. He reached out to me, and I stared at his hand for a moment before realizing he wanted me to help him up. I steadied him, still ignoring the agonizing silence in the room around us. It was as though everyone knew what he’d been up to and was waiting to see how I’d react. Once he was steady on his feet, Drew pulled me in for a one-arm hug and I wrapped both of my arms around his waist, burying my face in his neck. I might be out of my mind, but for once I

was going to fight for what I wanted. “Can we talk?” The trepidation in his voice told me that he knew why I’d walked out of the house. If I wasn’t careful, he’d be the one pushing my sorry ass to the curb for causing too much drama he didn’t need. I followed Drew to his bedroom and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he told me. Rather than look at me, he scratched his fingernails over the fiberglass cast. “I’ll be honest, it was one of those impulsive things.”

I placed my hand on his thigh and gave it a quick squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize to me,” I assured him. “We’re not in a relationship, so you don’t owe me anything.” “True, but you were upset.” It wasn’t a question. “If it makes you feel any better, my mom had no problem chewing me out in front of everyone for stringing you along.” “But you’re not,” I insisted. “You and I are just friends. Sure, it’d be nice to see where things might lead between us, but you don’t owe me that.”

“I feel the same way,” he told me, shifting on the mattress so he was facing me. “What happened between me and Eric was great, but I doubt it was anything more than two guys fooling around.” “I told you, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” I reminded him. He leaned in and I froze, debating whether or not I wanted him to finish closing the distance between us. As much as I definitely did want him, it had to wait. I needed to know what was happening so I could protect myself. I

placed my hand gingerly at the center of his chest to stop him, knowing I wouldn’t be capable of halting whatever happened if I got a taste of him. “Drew, that’s not entirely true.” Drew’s shoulders slumped forward as he retreated from me. I felt like a dick for doing this to him today, but it was the only way I could proceed. “There is one thing you need to tell me,” I said, kneading his arm until he looked up at me. Even through the bruising, his brown eyes glimmered with the hope and resilience of youth. And

God, the guy was young, but I tried not to think about that. “Tell me what you want. If you’re just looking for a good time and someone to help you unwind, that’s fine by me, but I need to know.” Drew seemed to ponder my request for a while. He stared off to the other side of the room long enough that I almost turned to see what had captivated him so. Then, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not fair, I know, but the only honest answer I can tell you is that I have no fucking clue.” “I think that’s very fair,” I

assured him. It may not have been what I wanted to hear, but there was something refreshing about him being so open with me. “You don’t have to have the answers right now, so please don’t think this is me sitting here telling you that you have to pick him or me. It’s not.” This time, I didn’t stop Drew when he tried to kiss me. I curled my fingers around the back of his neck and held him tightly as our lips met. His lips were softer than I’d have thought they’d be, but they were just as perfect as the rest of him. When my lips parted

slightly, Drew took full advantage and slid his tongue into my mouth. It was both the most languid and most erotic kiss I’d ever had. There was no sense of urgency to move on to whatever came next. This was simply the two of us tasting and exploring one another. My hand slid down his back and under the thin cotton of his shirt. I smiled when he shivered slightly at the contact. As his fingers fisted into my hair, keeping me from pulling away from him, I knew for certain that I had to be one of the dumbest men to ever walk the face of

the earth. Drew might not be looking for love, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel an undeniable connection to him as his taste mingled with mine on my tongue. There was a soft knock on the door and Drew immediately backed away. His body stiffened, as though he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. I wondered if he’d reacted the same way earlier when he and Eric were interrupted. Rather than wait for him to offer me another excuse, I stood and started to walk away. “Bryce, please.” The

desperation in his tone is what made me stop and turn back to him. “I told you I don’t know what this is and I mean it. But there is one thing I do know.” “What’s that?” I asked, stuffing my hands in my pockets hoping he wouldn’t see them balled into tight, frustrated fists. “I don’t want you to walk out of here thinking that kiss was a mistake.” When he smiled and reached out for me, I knew I was a goner. There was no way I was going to be able to lock my heart away for long. Eventually, I’d look back

on this moment and not regret a thing because the pain of losing Drew would be worth that one single look. I closed the distance between us and waited for Drew to stand. It was hard for me to not ask if he wanted my help, but I bit my tongue. He needed to trust that I still saw him as the fully capable yet slightly battered man that he was. He smiled again and I took that as my cue to kiss him. I buried my hands in the back pockets of his jeans and pulled his body close enough that he could feel what he did to me. “I don’t think that at

all.” It may not have been a complete truth, but it was close enough. The mistake was allowing myself to think about what it’d be like to have Drew in my life and completely to myself. Drew’s mother knocked on the door again, this time letting us know that lunch would soon be ready. I glanced down at my watch, surprised that I’d already been here for almost two hours. Apparently, time flies when you’re in the middle of losing your damn mind over shit you’ve never thought about in the

past. Drew followed me into the living room and took a seat in the recliner. Jason looked at me and I nodded, letting him know everything was fine and he wasn’t going to have to tackle me because I wasn’t going to make another break for the door. The rest of the afternoon went off with relatively little chaos. There was a lot of talk about Cam and his trip to New York. Drew’s mom beamed as she listened to Jason tell her about his last phone call with Cam. As much as I

wanted to be happy for him, my heart broke a little for Jason. I could see what he was carefully hiding from the rest of the room. It was hard for him to be separated from the man he loved, especially since there was no advance warning, from what he said. The last time he’d been through that, his lover never came home and both of us were still battling that particular demon. Shortly after dusk, Drew’s teammates who’d stopped by to check on him started filing out. I did the same even though I’d been hoping to have

more time with Drew, only because he looked about ready to pass out in his chair. There’d be time for us later.

Chapter 9 It only took four days for me to reach my breaking point with everyone hovering over me all the time. Honestly, I was surprised it’d taken that long. My mom kept asking if I needed anything, Jason was at the house every morning when I woke up, and I knew Eric had yet to sleep in his own bed since the attack. Every night, I heard him open my door when he thought I was asleep. If that went on much longer, I was going invite

him in, because it was a bit creepy knowing he was standing there while I pretended to be out cold. The truth was, I hadn’t slept for shit except when I took my pain pills, which I was trying to wean myself off of before I got hooked on them. I could hear my mom upstairs, packing as she argued with my dad about whether or not I was ready to be on my own yet. “You’ve been here every minute since he came home,” Dad pointed out. “You know full well that he’ll be anything but alone after we

leave.” I mentally fist-pumped as I listened to Dad try to assure Mom that I wouldn’t have some sort of tragic accident after they got on the road back home. I was surprised Dad lasted this long without turning back toward the farm. In my twenty-five years, I couldn’t remember a single time when he’d stayed away from his chores for more than a day. Their suitcase thumped on the stairs as Dad carried it down to load into the car. It was a subtle reminder that

Dad wasn’t getting any younger and that he wasn’t as strong as he once was. Guilt consumed me, knowing that I wouldn’t be there to help him this winter. Some of the guys teased me for still having chores when I wasn’t busy working, but I didn’t give a shit. Farm chores provided me a natural workout while keeping me humble. Dad had no problem telling me to shovel shit, and I doubted that’d ever change. “Do you want me to come home with you?” I offered, more out of instinct than anything else. I still hadn’t been

cleared to drive, but it didn’t feel right watching him go without him knowing that I was still willing to do what I could. I’d have to take it easy for another few weeks, but there had to be something I could do one-handed. “What? So you can both annoy the hell out of me?” Dad scoffed. He came over and placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “Son, I appreciate the offer, but you’re no good to me in the state you’re in. You need to stay here and get better. Maybe after Christmas, you’ll be healed enough that you can help me out

with some repairs that need to be made before spring.” That made me feel completely worthless, even though that hadn’t been Dad’s intention. He’d been relying on me and I let him down. I knew he didn’t see it that way, but I did. If I hadn’t listened to Jason, I’d have been sitting my happy ass at home instead of lying on the ground, bleeding when Eric found me. I was the one who made the choice to go out that night and I hadn’t even had the chance to have a good time. “Yeah, that’ll work,” I told him. I

eased myself out of the recliner to walk them to the door. I still wasn’t moving well, but at least every breath or step wasn’t making me double over in pain any longer. I gave both of my parents a hug and kiss. “Drive safe and call me when you get home.” “Who’s the parent here?” Dad chided, giving me a quick wink. “You’re a good man. Don’t you ever forget that.” It didn’t take a genius to know what Dad was talking about. He may be old, but he wasn’t blind. He’d seen the way I’d been torn between giving my

attention to Eric and Bryce when they were both in the same room. Rather than make either of them uncomfortable, I’d pulled away from both of them until I could figure out what in the fuck was going through my head. Hopefully, I’d have a moment of clarity once the house was quiet. And with my parents gone, it was. For the first time since Eric flew home from Seattle, I was alone in the house. It was fan-fucking-tastic. And then Mason showed up. That man had the worst timing of anyone I’d ever known. I

considered not answering the door when he rang the bell, but knew he’d crawl in a window if he had to. “Hey, I was just getting ready to take a quick nap,” I told him. Truthfully, I just wanted to sit around and enjoy the quiet, but I figured a nap would be more likely to get Mason to leave. And yeah, I felt like a jerk because he’d never been anything other than an awesome friend, but I wanted to be alone. Without anyone bugging me. At all. For at least the next few hours. “Oh, well I told Eric I’d swing

by to see if you needed anything,” he told me. At least he didn’t try to make some bullshit excuse. “I’m guessing you’re all good.” I looked around the house and then held out my arms as if to make sure I was still in one piece. “Yep, nothing amiss here,” I responded sarcastically. “Unless, of course, there’s a chunk missing out of my arm and I don’t know it because of the cast.” “Quit being a jackass,” Mason scolded me. He walked around me and directly into the kitchen, where he

started pulling out an assortment of lunch meat and cheese. Even though it hadn’t been long since Mom made breakfast, I eyed his sandwich as if I hadn’t eaten in days. “You want one?” “Yeah, that’d be awesome,” I responded meekly. Not two minutes after telling him I didn’t need anything, the man was making me a sandwich. “Thanks.” “Don’t mention it. I think Sean’s trying to convince Eric to let me come over and sit with you every day when they’re working out, just so I can eat his

food instead of ours.” That wouldn’t surprise me, since Mason ate more than just about anyone I knew. If he was awake, it wouldn’t be more than an hour before he was shoveling more food into his face. And he was still just as fit as the rest of us. Good genetics sucked when they weren’t yours. Mason grabbed two bottles of water and balanced the two plates in his other hand. He handed mine over before taking a seat on the couch. Checking the time, I knew it wouldn’t be long before Jason, Eric, and Sean were done

working out. My solitude was over almost as soon as it began. “Where’s the kid?” It was weird seeing Mason without Asher. Since he’d quit playing, and subsequently given up the opportunity he’d been given to write for a sports website, the two of them were nearly inseparable. It was actually pretty fucking awesome to see how devoted he was to his son’s life. Asher might not have a conventional family, but he had more people who loved him than most kids could ever dream of having.

“Sean’s mom came into town and wanted to spend some time with him,” Mason said. He didn’t seem entirely pleased by that development, but I knew from talking to Sean that he was trying to make amends with his mom now that his parents were going through a bitter divorce. Apparently, she didn’t like being told to ostracize two of her children because they couldn’t live up to her future ex-husband’s high standards. Every time he and I talked about how difficult it was for him to forget about the past, I felt grateful to have two

parents who loved and accepted me for who I am. “The past two times went well, so I decided to ask her if she’d mind watching him. I know you’re tired of always having people running through the house, so I figured I’d be a good man and fly solo today.” “Way to make me sound like the asshole,” I grumbled. “And be honest, doesn’t it feel good to be able to get away and be an adult for once?” I couldn’t imagine having someone so dependent on me for everything. And it had to be even harder now that Asher

was walking around and trying to get into every fucking thing he could. Mason shrugged. “It’s not as bad as you’d think. He’s my little buddy. Although, I’m going to go broke if Sean keeps making me put a dollar in that fucking jar every time I swear around Ash.” And that was the end of the conversation. Mason and I hadn’t spent much time together, so other than mundane shit, I had no clue what to say to him. We wound up sitting around watching movies until the front door

opened and three sweaty guys barreled into the house. I closed my eyes and listened to the three of them talk about their workout, wishing it was time for the doctors to clear me to do something. I was supposed to be with them, but instead I was sitting around doing nothing, letting the atrophy set in on my muscles a bit every day. Eric startled me when he stood behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You doing good?” That seemed to be a step up from ”Are you okay?” which was a question I

could easily go the rest of my life without hearing again. I looked up at him and smiled as I nodded. I couldn’t speak around the lump in my throat, once again wishing I wasn’t so fucked up. Eric made me wish for things I’d never missed before. He made me wish he was asking me as his lover, not his roommate. “I’m going to grab a quick shower,” he informed me, his voice low enough that only I could hear. “After that, I was thinking we might order in pizza and throw some darts in the basement.

You up for it?” “Yeah, that’d be good.” Thank God it wasn’t my throwing arm that was broken. It was such a small gesture, but Eric was subtly telling me that the time of being coddled was over now that my parents had gone home. I was nothing more than Drew, his sometimes moody friend. His fucking friend. As I watched Eric disappear down the hall, I made the decision that it was okay to play the field a bit. I didn’t need to make a decision about which of them I’d rather spend time with. As long

as everyone knew what was going on, it was fine. And if either of them had an issue with that, then it’d make my decision that much easier. Now, I just had to work up the balls to actually do something about it. Three hours later, we were all in the basement and I was the only man left sober. Sean hadn’t had too much since he’d offered to let Mason take the night off from being a responsible adult, but even he was somewhat buzzed. It was the first time since that night when everyone seemed to be having a good

time and not worrying about anything. Then, Mason had to go and toss a bucket of water on the good mood. “I have to say, I’m surprised Cam hasn’t come home,” he said bluntly during a lull in the conversation. That was normally the great thing about guys: we didn’t always have to be talking. Well, most of us didn’t; Mason still seemed to think silence was a sign of problems. “He said the next time I heard from him would probably be when he got cut from the show,” Jason responded.

I missed Cam, wished like hell he was here to give me some advice, but I was so fucking proud of him for finally chasing after his dream. He’d claimed going to culinary school had been all he’d thought about, but I knew better. I remembered the way he’d always want to sit down with my mom and watch the Bon Vivant Network every time he came over to our house. Eventually, I gave up trying to get him to do something “normal” teenage boys did and went out to the barn to find my dad. It was my little way of giving Cam a slice of a

normal life with people who didn’t see him as an obligation. “Yeah, but I would’ve thought he’d come running back when he heard about what happened to Drew.” Mason jumped back when Sean went to punch him in the arm, only to crash into Eric’s chest. Unfortunately for Mason, Eric held him so Sean could take his shot. “Ouch! That hurt, you fuckers!” “Good,” Eric and Sean said in unison. It seemed my injuries had gone from the only thing everyone could talk about to a taboo subject, but Mason and I

hadn’t received that particular memo. “He doesn’t know,” I told Mason when it became apparent no one else would say anything. I appreciated them wanting to treat me as if nothing had changed, but it had. There was no way I could go back in time and make it so I hadn’t been beaten. “How can he not know? It’s been all over the news.” Mason scratched his head as he mumbled something I couldn’t understand. “When I talked to him the night of the auditions, he said they were taking

all of their phones and they wouldn’t have access to TV or Internet,” Jason chimed in. “The only thing that exists in his world right now is the show, and that’s exactly how it should be.” Mason whistled long and low. “Damn, you know that’s going to piss him off when he finds out.” “True, but like you said, he’d have thrown it all away to come home and make sure I was okay,” I responded. My knee was starting to bother me, so I walked over to the leather sectional and sat down. Mason followed while the rest

of the guys kept playing. “How can you do that? I can’t imagine not telling Sean if something happened to me, even before we were a couple. Cam’s your person.” “My person? I think you’ve been watching too much Grey’s on Netflix,” I teased him. He quirked an eyebrow, as if to challenge me because I understood the reference. “Fine, so he’s my person. Now, tell me this... If something had happened to you and Sean had been in the middle of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, would you have told him?”

Mason seemed to think on that a bit. “And remember, you know that he’d come rushing home to take care of you, even though it’s not his job,” I prodded when no answer came. “He’d lose out on his dream and it’d be on your shoulders.” “Fine, I see your point,” Mason finally conceded. “But I’m telling you, I won’t be around when he gets home and finds out. He’s going to go seriously bitchy diva on your ass. You’ll be lucky if you don’t wind up back in the hospital.”

“Won’t be the first time I pissed him off and I highly doubt it’ll be the last,” I deadpanned. Cam and I had been friends since we were kids. I knew all of his secrets and he knew all of mine. Well, all of them except the recent dream I hadn’t been able to shake from my mind. I hadn’t given it much thought at the time. I’d actually played it off as a combination of my confusion combined with pain killers. I’d thought about what it’d be like to not have to choose between Eric and Bryce. I’d dreamed of

coming home to both of them, seeing them making out on the couch and me joining in the fun. Both Eric and Bryce had a bit of the bad boy look going for them and the image of them together was fucking hot as hell. Unfortunately, that was the type of shit that only happened in cheesy porn. “Hey, you okay there?” I shook my head as Mason stared at me. I quickly glanced down to make sure my daydreaming hadn’t caused any issues to arise. “Yeah, I think I might have

overdone it today,” I said, hoping it’d be a plausible excuse. “I’m going to head upstairs.” Eric stopped me at the bottom of the steps. “You okay? Don’t let whatever Mason said piss you off. You know he tends to run his mouth without thinking.” I simply shook my head, wishing I could tell Eric what was really on my mind. Without thinking about what I was doing, I leaned in and gave Eric a chaste kiss. I wound my hand around the back of his neck, enjoying the moment. “I’m fine, really. I’m going to head upstairs.”

“Okay, well you know where I’ll be.” Thankfully, if anyone said anything about me kissing my roommate, they’d waited until I was out of ear shot. I stripped down to my boxers and prayed that tonight would be the night I wouldn’t be haunted in my dreams. Both the good and bad dreams were making it impossible to feel rested when I woke up in the morning.

Chapter 10 By the last week of October, I was exhausted. I spent all day at the center, mostly doing mindless administrative work. We’d had to fire a couple of our program directors because we found out they were mishandling the money, but we had yet to find replacements for them. That meant I was doing the job of three people, none of which I was qualified to take on. That also meant I had a valid

excuse if Drew figured out that I’d been carefully avoiding going over to see him. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Drew was fine because Eric and Jason were there with him. Jason’s boyfriend was still in New York, which meant his plans to do some traveling over the winter were on hold indefinitely. I think he was trying to spend as much time as possible with Drew as a way to fill the hole left by Cam’s absence. I felt as though I was stuck in limbo, waiting to see if Drew would

reach out and tell me he wanted to see me. Other than his wrist, most of his physical wounds were healing pretty well, so I hoped it was only a matter of time before he’d call or ask me to stop by. Then again, I knew that was unlikely, given what I had seen the few times I had stopped by. It was completely against my nature to sit back the way I had been with Drew. This was the first time I’d been hesitant to fight for something I wanted. It wasn’t that I no longer thought Drew to be worth the fight, but I was a big enough man to step

back when someone else would be better for him. Knuckles rapping against the door of my makeshift office pulled me out of my thoughts of Drew and what could have been. That was good because there was too much to do around here for me to be daydreaming. I looked up and saw Eric standing in the doorway. That was a surprise that coiled my stomach slightly. “Hey, I’m sorry to drop by, but I was hoping to talk to you for a minute,” he said, never stepping into my office. I

motioned for him to take a seat and allowed myself to appreciate his good looks yet again. He had that same magnetic personality I’d seen the day we first met. “Not a problem at all,” I assured him. “What can I do for you?” Eric worried his bottom lip and scrubbed a hand through his chestnut hair. He was as gorgeous as ever, but there was no denying that he was exhausted, judging by the dark circles under his puffy eyes. Knowing he was the one who stopped Drew’s attack, I

wondered if that was the source of his haggard state. My own mind had raced more than once thinking about what could have happened to Drew if Eric hadn’t come walking up when he did, so I could only imagine what Eric was going through. “It’s about Drew,” he said bluntly. “I probably shouldn’t be here talking to you, but I didn’t know who else might be able to help.” I sat up straighter, nervous about what Eric shouldn’t be talking to me about. “I’m not sure what it is you’re

looking for, but you know I’ll do whatever I can. What’s going on?” Eric chewed on his plump lower lip again and I could tell how difficult it was for him to find the words. I didn’t figure a man’s man like him was used to opening up about things that bothered him. He struck me as fitting just about every stereotype of your typical jock, exceedingly masculine in every way, emotionally stunted, and not used to thinking about anything other than the game. “It’s weird,” he began, his voice

softer than I thought him capable of, both in volume and tone. “It’s like the more he heals physically, the more standoffish he is. He’s pulling away from just about everyone. He’s afraid we’re all looking at him and still seeing his injuries.” I quickly decided this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to be having at the center. Partly, I was concerned that people would walk in and interrupt us when I wanted to give Eric my undivided attention, but also, I didn’t want anyone putting two and two together and figuring out who we were

talking about if they were in the hall eavesdropping. I didn’t want to think anyone here would do that, but I’d quickly learned that there was a lot going on at the Milwaukee center that I didn’t care for. I started making stacks of the papers strewn all over my desk so I’d know where to start the next day as I listened to Eric continue telling me about what was going on with Drew. The more I heard, the more I thought I’d made a huge mistake by staying away. Not that I was any sort of authority on the subject,

but this was something I was used to. I’d been hired by the center because I was a social work major in college. My goal in life was to help people, not sit behind a desk, acting like a cross between an accountant and a magician, trying to make money appear where there was none. “I was just getting ready to head out for the day,” I lied. Any other day, I’d be here for at least another five hours. “Why don’t we head over to my place and continue this conversation in private?”

Eric looked around behind him as if he expected to see someone watching us. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw we were alone. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Sorry, I was driving around running errands and passed this place and remembered that you worked here. I thought maybe you’d have some advice because I really don’t want to bring up the idea of him talking to someone.” Well, at least we were on the same page there. Drew did need to talk to someone, but I don’t think Eric

realized he wasn’t the only one who needed help. Eric had taken on the weight of everything with Drew, which was more than any friend should ever have to bear. “I’m glad you stopped in,” I assured him. “I can’t say I know exactly what he’s going through, but this is what we deal with at the center far more often than we’d like. Maybe not to this extent, but a lot of the kids who come in here have been through bullying of varying degrees because of who they are.” Eric let out a grunt of disbelief.

“Bullying is a fuck of a lot different than what he went through.” I grabbed my coat off the hook next to the door and motioned for Eric to lead the way out of the building. “That’s true in a sense, but a lot of times, bullying is a natural progression. Believe it or not, there are even people out there who think it’s not bullying at all until there are physical injuries. The truth is, sometimes the injuries caused by words are the ones that take the longest to heal.” Eric and I walked to the

reception desk and I let Jacob know I was leaving for the day. He was one of our success stories. He’d come to the center shortly after it opened and was now working here part-time to supplement the financial aid he received for college. Kids like him were the reason my work was so important to me. The air was bitterly cold. For some reason, I thought I’d have a bit longer before it felt like the air was going to freeze the skin on my face. I’d been thinking about shaving my beard, but now that I felt the sting on my

exposed skin, I was contemplating going all Grizzly Adams for the winter. I pulled up the collar of my coat to shield me and Eric laughed. “If you think this is bad, you’re going to be screwed when it gets cold,” he teased. “Yeah, so I’ve heard.” Eric stopped in front of his Audi and stared blankly at me as I waited for him to get in. “You want to tell me where I’m going?” Right. He didn’t know where I lived. I gave him the address of the

furnished apartment the center had helped me find and told him to park along the side of the building. “Man, that’s like three blocks from here. You really drive to and from work?” I didn’t every day, but until I got used to the weather here, I had no intention of walking unless the roads were so bad that it became the lesser of two evils. When I first got here, I loved how close I was to work because walking every day allowed me to see some of the people who might someday walk through our doors for help. We had

a team of street advocates who tried to make sure everyone knew help was available, but we couldn’t force anyone to accept it. And sadly, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to fill the need if our load increased too much. “Don’t judge me,” I said, attempting to sound put-off. “Not all of us are bred to live in weather like this. I’m telling you, it’s not natural.” “Come on, let’s go before you start whining that you’re going to turn into a popsicle.” I appreciated Eric not continuing to give me a hard time. “Do

you want me to swing by and pick up something for dinner? I haven’t eaten since lunch, so if I don’t get to eat soon, I might go cannibal on you.” Oh, if only we weren’t talking about him gnawing my arm, that could be entertaining. Eric was exactly the type of man I usually tried to find for a steamy night. Tall, fit, dark hair and smoldering eyes. The only thing I didn’t know was if he’d have a coat of equally dark hair covering his chest. If he did, I swore I’d do anything he asked. I used to love going out on the

weekends, and had more than my fair share of casual hook-ups, but none since the middle of September. After I met Drew, it hadn’t been a conscious decision to spend my Saturday nights holed up at home, but that’s what had happened. I’d sit around reading, waiting for him to text me if they had a late game. And since getting here, there simply hadn’t been time. I’d thought about asking Drew if he wanted to go out, even if it meant driving to Madison or Chicago, but then the attack happened and I’d gone back to catching up on the

never-ending list of books I wanted to read. “Yeah, that’d be good. I have to admit, I’ve been living off takeout since I got here since it’s usually too late to cook by the time I get home,” I admitted. Not only that, but cooking for one wasn’t all that much fun. I’d never be as good as Jason claimed his boyfriend was, but I got the impression few were. After all, he was MIA right now because he was off trying to become the next Emeril, Bobby, or Guy. “When you get there, just use the intercom and I’ll let you in.”

Eric running for dinner gave me time to pick up around the apartment a bit. I wasn’t a slob, but I had seen how meticulous most of Eric’s house was. With the exception of Drew’s bedroom, everything was in its place and there wasn’t a speck of dust to be seen. Just as I finished throwing a load of laundry into the washer, the buzzer trilled through the apartment. “Hey, take the elevator to the fifth floor,” I told him before pressing the button to unlock the front doors. I kept waffling between sitting on

the couch waiting for him and opening the door to wait in the hall. As I stepped barefoot onto the carpeted hallway, I told myself I was only doing so because this was Eric’s first time and it was polite to not make someone wait at the door when you knew they were on their way up. See, Mom was wrong, I did have some social graces. “Hey, nice place you’ve got here,” he praised when he stepped off the elevator. I helped him with the bags he was carrying, taking in the scent of garlic and onions. Italian seemed a safe

choice, but it definitely cut down on the urge for an epic makeout session later. Then again, I doubted anything like that was even on Eric’s mind when he chose our meals for the evening. “Thanks. The founder did the math and figured it’d be cheaper to get me a furnished apartment than make me live out of a hotel for however long I’m here. Plus, this way I didn’t have to pack my stuff and have it moved across the country.” Eric nodded in understanding. I forgot who I was talking to. Eric probably knew better than I ever would

what a pain in the ass it was to move at a moment’s notice. “Yeah, that’s why we’re always given the name of a realtor as soon as we land in a new city. I picked up a six pack. I hope you don’t mind.” The only thing I minded was that it wasn’t something stronger. I felt uneasy now that Eric was in my home. “Not at all.” I grabbed the beer from him and led him into the small, galley style kitchen. There was barely enough room for me to move around in there, so there was no way to avoid

brushing up against Eric as he pulled the lids off the entrees he’d ordered while I worked on getting plates and silverware. “Sorry the place is still a bit sparse. I haven’t had a chance to get anything more than the bare essentials the apartment came with.” “No worries.” Eric followed me to the café table in the dining area. I didn’t mind the apartment, but it was apparent to me that it was meant as transitional housing, not a long term solution. None of the furniture was comfortable, it was more there to fill the

otherwise vacant space than anything else. We didn’t get back on the topic of Drew as we ate, which was good since the thought of him struggling upset me. It brought back a lot of old memories I’d rather leave in the past. I dealt with enough of those ghosts when I was at work, I wasn’t ready for them to invade my personal time as well. After dinner, we moved the conversation into the living room. I turned on some music for background noise. Eventually, we got to the point

where it became impossible to ignore the reason we were both here. “So, tell me more about what’s going on with Drew,” I urged. “He misses you,” Eric said without hesitation, making me choke on my beer. Those were the last three words I’d expected to hear. They should have made me feel better, but they didn’t. I’d been pulling away because every time I stopped by, it was clear to see that he and Eric were growing closer. Drew thought he was hiding the moments when he pulled back from

Eric’s simple touches, but he wasn’t fooling me. I knew he was doing so for my benefit. “I was hoping you might want to come over to the house and watch a movie tomorrow night.” “I think you’re reading too much into his mood swings,” I argued. Eric was trying to find the simplest answer, which wasn’t the right one. “Besides, why would you come down to tell me that? From where I’m standing, it looks like you and Drew are doing just fine together.” Eric shook his head. “It’s not like

that. Yeah, we’re closer now than we were in the past, but I’m not who he wants. He won’t say it, but I can tell.” “How?” I challenged. Before answering, Eric went into the kitchen and helped himself to two more beers. He sat down a bit closer to me. His proximity made me nervous. It excited me. And it scared the hell out of me because I felt out of control. “You’ll probably think I’m crazy and at least a little bit creepy if I tell you.” “Try me.” I purposely kept my tone casual.

“He’s been having nightmares.” Understandable, given everything Drew had been through, but I failed to see how that meant he’d been missing me. “Since I haven’t been able to sleep much either, I go and check on him sometimes to see if he’s restless.” That did seem a bit creepy, but it also seemed logical. The two of them shared a bond no one else would be able to understand. Drew may have been the one who’d been physically assaulted, but he had the “blessing” of not remembering most of what happened.

Eric, on the other hand, remembered every second from the time he turned into that alley until they knew Drew was going to be okay. Speaking from experience, I knew how those images could form an indelible bond in a man’s mind. No one knew how close Jason’s boyfriend and I had been when we were deployed. At first, we were nothing more than brothers in arms, willing to protect one another to the death. The night I had to stop a drunk asshole from choking Adam because he’d found out

Adam was gay, everything changed. Had it not been for Adam’s undying devotion to Jason, I can’t say for certain we wouldn’t have been sneaking off to fuck every chance we had. But somehow, the kinship we shared after that night was one even deeper than meaningless sex. I would have done anything to help him. And when I wasn’t able to save him, I blamed myself. I mourned him in silence, wondering if it’d ever be possible for me to find the type of love he always spoke of when it came to Jason.

“Anyone else would think you’re a stalker, but I get it,” I told him, hoping he wouldn’t pry. Eric had no obligation to me, and if I told him the truth I couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t run to Jason. That’d open old wounds that had finally begun to heal. “So, how does that involve me?” “The other night I heard him saying something when I was walking down the hall to get a drink,” Eric began. He hesitated, gripping at his neck as if the words he wanted to say were choking him. “That night, it wasn’t a

nightmare. Let’s just say it was the exact opposite.” Oh. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, finding myself at a loss for words. “Yeah, that was my reaction as well,” Eric admitted. “I was about to go into his bedroom when his words became less muffled. And the first thing I heard was him calling out to you.” Well shit. I really thought I’d been doing the right thing by backing away. If what Eric said was the truth, and really he had no reason to lie, then

I’d messed up big time. “Tell me what you want me to do.” Today might wind up going down as one of the most bizarre days of my life. By the time I walked Eric to the elevator, he and I had planned a pretty kick ass night in for Drew and me. Eric assured me he’d make himself scarce, even after I swore that wasn’t necessary. I couldn’t guarantee I would have been as accommodating had our roles been reversed.

Chapter 11 Eric had been acting weird all day. As in he’d been going out of his way to avoid me, which really sucked since having time to think last night had finally allowed me to work up the courage to make a move. The last time I’d even thought about anything other than whether or not the guy was actually gay before acting on my urges was my freshman year of college. Since then, I’d done a damn good job scratching the

itch, so to speak, whenever it struck. Except, wherever he’d gone last night had left him in one hell of a mood. On top of that, Jason walked in this morning, his arms loaded with moving boxes which he hauled up the stairs to Cam’s loft. We’d talked about him moving Cam into his place, but I still hadn’t been prepared for it to actually happen. Rather than mope around the house, I decided to make myself useful by helping Jason pack up all of Cam’s clothes. He tried arguing with me at first, but after I snapped,

telling him I needed something to do before I lost my fucking mind, he let me help on the promise that I’d stop before I overdid it. I said I would. I didn’t, which meant I was in agony by early afternoon. And because that’s not bad enough, Eric came home and saw me limping down the stairs. He didn’t say anything, but the look he gave me spoke volumes. Tonight, after the dust settled and Jason had everything out of Cam’s room, Eric and I were going to have a chat. If he was pissed about something,

he could fucking tell me because I wasn’t in the mood to play games. Once Jason and Eric had Jason’s truck loaded and were on their way to his apartment, I tossed back a pain pill and laid down on the couch. I didn’t want to disappear into my room because I was pissed that Eric was pissed about something and I didn’t want to give him an opportunity to avoid me when he got home. I was almost asleep when someone rang the front doorbell. No one used the front door, so I closed my eyes, ignoring them in hopes that they’d leave

soon. When whoever it was didn’t take the hint that no one wanted to see them, I pried myself off the couch and smoothed my clothes as I hobbled over to the foyer. I seriously couldn’t wait until I could do normal shit like a normal person without feeling as if I was about to fall over. I whipped the door open a little quicker than I’d intended and nearly slapped myself in the face. When I looked up, I really wished it’d been a pushy missionary because then I wouldn’t have felt the embarrassment I

felt when my eyes met Bryce’s. “Is this a bad time?” I sagged against the edge of the door. He’d been avoiding me, and the first thing I did when he finally stopped by was glare at him. I was an ass. “Yeah, it’d be much better if you could turn around, wipe the last minute from your brain and knock again.” “Sorry, no can do,” he apologized. He sure as hell didn’t seem all that sorry. In fact, it seemed he really didn’t give a shit what I wanted. He was a man on a mission. That’s when I

noticed the bulging plastic sack in his hand. “I wanted to stop by and apologize for not visiting sooner and figured Chinese was a decent peace offering since you mentioned you liked it.” Part of me wanted to ask what changed his mind, but it didn’t matter. All I cared about was that he was here now. And that he had food. Food was definitely a good way to ease any possible tension. I led Bryce into the kitchen and started getting out plates and silverware while he unpacked the paper cartons. Even if Jason and Eric had been

here, there’d have been far too much food. “Did you order one of everything on the menu?” Bryce’s cheeks flushed as he looked away. He quickly rebounded and turned to me, squaring his shoulders. The confidence was forced, but I didn’t give a shit because it was sexy as hell. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted and I was hungry. You know what they say about going to the grocery store on an empty stomach?” “Yeah.” I started piling my plate with a little of each entree.

“The same goes for ordering takeout.” We both laughed. “I was standing there looking over the menu and just kept adding more to the order when something sounded good.” As badly as I wanted to grill Bryce about his absence, I held back. I reminded myself that he was in town for work, not to spend time with me. He loved his job as much as I did mine, and I knew I wouldn’t handle it well if someone confronted me about not giving them enough of my time when there was shit to be done. Not only that, but it

wasn’t exactly fair of me to ask him why he hadn’t shoved his way in sooner when I’d been busy keeping him at arm’s length. The topic of conversation over dinner was, understandably, my injuries and recovery. Since I no longer had people asking me every other minute how I was feeling, I didn’t mind giving him an update. The truth was, I felt better than I’d have expected to feel three weeks out. Most of the bruises had faded and I was pretty damn mobile as long as I didn’t try to help pack up the wardrobe

of an incurable clothes junkie. Bryce took care of clean up after we finished eating and refused to let me help. I’d been trying to hide the aches, but he’d noticed them and insisted that I relax. He joined me in the living room once everything was put away and the counters were wiped down. The house was quiet. Too quiet. Bryce sat at the opposite end of the couch, watching me as I tried to figure out what came next. The easy camaraderie I’d felt in the past when Bryce and I talked was missing. I reached for the remote and

started flipping through channels, hoping maybe we’d find something that looked interesting to both of us. That proved fruitless, and I turned on Sportsline, just to have something to break the silence in the room. I knew it was my fault things had turned awkward between Bryce and me. I’d been sending him mixed signals, telling him I wanted to see him with my words, yet unable to deny my attraction to Eric the times when Bryce had come to visit. As I sat there thinking, I realized I had to fix my attitude and sort out my

feelings if there was any hope of continuing to build what I thought there might be between us. Bryce probably thought I was insane when I turned off the television and walked out of the room. I needed time to think about what I wanted to say because knowing my recent mood, I’d wind up pissing him off if I didn’t plan ahead. By the time I walked back into the room, Bryce had his coat on and was almost to the door. “Bryce, wait,” I called out. He turned to look at me but

didn’t say a word. Instead, he sighed heavily as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest, making it abundantly clear he’d reached the end of his proverbial rope when it came to my indecision. My feet felt weighted to the floor as I tried to close the distance between us. No matter what happened by the end of the night, I owed Bryce an apology. And an explanation. I reached out to him, ignoring the jab in my gut when he closed off even more. Both of us stared at my hand for a second before I allowed

it to drop to my side. “Look, I know I’m totally screwing up an otherwise awesome night, but I’m not ready for you to leave.” Bryce’s lips pressed into a thin line as he studied my features. “You could’ve fooled me,” he retorted as he reached behind his body for the door knob. “Drew, you’re a great guy. If circumstances had been different, I’d like to think we could’ve had some fun together. And who knows, maybe our time will come eventually, but you need to figure out what it is that you want

first.” As much as his rejection stung, I appreciated that he felt he could be honest with me. Still, that didn’t mean I was going to give up on us. Yes, we’d faced some hurdles and there would likely be more to come, but there was something about Bryce that drew me to him, even when I tried to let him go. “Please come back and sit down,” I pleaded with him. “Hear me out and if you still want to go after that, I’ll walk you to the door and out of my life.” Every second Bryce took to

consider my request seemed to drag on for an eternity. He rubbed at his eyebrows as if the situation was giving him a headache. “Okay.” That single word felt like a concession more than agreement. He followed me back to the living room but didn’t take off his coat when he sat at the opposite end of the couch, as far from me as possible. My mouth went dry as Bryce waited patiently for me to say what I’d asked him to hear before leaving. The words failed me as every nerve in my

body began to short-circuit. I swallowed hard, wishing I had something to drink. With a deep breath, it was go time. I only hoped he’d reconsider walking away. “I know I’ve been a miserable ass lately.” I ignored the choked laugh Bryce let escape his lips at my candor. “Honestly, there’s part of me that still can’t believe you came back after how I treated you the day I got home.” Bryce surprised me by sliding closer on the couch and taking my hand. “I knew you weren’t lashing out at me,”

he assured me. “Don’t,” I chastised him. I knew what he was trying to do, but I didn’t want to be let off the hook. How I’d behaved wasn’t okay and I didn’t want him telling me it was. “I don’t want you pretending that how I’ve treated you is okay. You were trying to help me and I was an asshole.” “Because you were hurting,” he said softly. “You didn’t want people hovering over you, but you knew you needed their help. I get it.” “That doesn’t make it okay.”

Rather than look into Bryce’s almost black eyes, I stared at the point where his hand rested over mine. “No, but it’s not an unforgivable offense.” A shiver raced through my body at the cold and emptiness I felt when Bryce removed his hand from mine. “Why do you keep doing that?” I scowled, hating that Bryce could be so calm about how I’d acted toward him. “Plain and simple,” Bryce deadpanned, sitting up a bit straighter and leaning in toward me.

Unconsciously, I mirrored his posture. “It’d be easy for me to blow up at you. I could rant and rave about what a selfish, miserable prick you’ve been, but that won’t do any good. I could remind you that you’re not the first person to go through this and won’t be the last, but that’d be insensitive of me. “And believe me, Drew, I’ve thought about saying all of that and more. I haven’t given you space because I wanted to. I did it because it’s what you needed,” he informed me. I slumped back in my seat, unwilling to fight back

because it was good to see that Bryce gave a damn, even if it was in his own fucked up way. “You needed time to sit here and stew about what you’d been through. And I knew, in doing that, you’d wind up pushing away everyone who tried to help you. It’s not an uncommon reaction, but it’s also not a healthy way to deal with it. So, I’m not going to scream at you because that’s exactly what you want. You realize that you fucked up and you want everyone to be pissed off at you about that. Well, I’m not going to let you win.”

He stood and I was sure this was it. He’d said what he needed to say and was going to walk away. I’m fairly certain I stopped breathing until I realized he was taking off his bulky winter coat to get comfortable. Even though I’d seen him plenty of times, it felt as though I were seeing him for the first time. My body stirred to life at the sight of him in a simple white T-shirt and faded jeans that I wanted to reach out and touch to see if they felt as soft as they looked. And then I’d run my hand up his chest, allowing myself to feel the

stubble that he’d allowed to grow into a neatly trimmed beard. But I couldn’t allow myself to think about any of that right now, otherwise I’d be shoving him back on the couch, rutting around like a horny teenager. “I also feel like I need to apologize for sending you mixed signals,” I continued before I lost my nerve. “I won’t insult you by assuming you haven’t seen the attention I’ve given Eric since he got home. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but ever since I opened my eyes and saw him standing

there in my hospital room, it’s like something changed between us. I can’t tell you that’s gone away, but neither has how I feel about you.” This time, Bryce pressed a finger to my lips to shut me up. “It’s okay,” he said, although I didn’t believe him. If our roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have been okay with him admitting to being interested in someone else. I’d have probably given him a hug as I walked him out, wishing him and the other guy a good life. One without me in it.

“I really don’t understand you,” I told him, leaning into his touch when he placed his hand against my cheek. “I’m not asking you to pledge your undying love for me, Drew. The two of you have a bond most people can’t begin to understand,” he told me, sliding his hand around to the back of my neck. “You might have blacked out, but it doesn’t change the fact that he saved you. What you’re feeling is normal.” “But it’s more than that,” I admitted. “I get what you’re saying, but it’d be dishonest of me to say that’s all it

is between us.” “And that’s okay,” Bryce promised me. “As long as we’re all honest with one another, there’s nothing wrong with not being exclusive.” “There’s not?” The words sounded incredibly naïve and ignorant, but I couldn’t call them back. “Hell no,” Bryce responded emphatically. “Hell, in a perverse way, I’m flattered.” “You are?” God, if ever there was a time for a gag, it would have been then. That way I couldn’t respond with

two word answers anymore. “Hell yes! Eric’s gorgeous, so if you’re attracted to him and still want me, then I’ll take that as some sort of twisted compliment.” Bryce shifted and I couldn’t help but look down to find I wasn’t the only one a bit uncomfortable below the waist. “The only thing I ask is that we keep talking about what we’re thinking and feeling. If I get to a point where I’m not comfortable knowing I’m not the only one you’re spending time with, I’ll tell you. And I know you’ll do the same.”

I was no longer in control of the conversation. It’d taken a surreal twist. What Bryce was proposing was close to a dream come true for me. He was telling me I didn’t have to choose one or the other, that I could explore what I felt for both of them. “Oh… of course,” I stammered, still in shock that we were really talking about this. “Good. Now, are we done talking?” I finally forced myself to look into Bryce’s smoldering eyes. Yeah, we were done using our words for a while. I

nodded, nervous because I had a feeling about how the rest of the night was going to go.

Chapter 12 By the time I made it home, I was exhausted and crabby. When Jason asked me to help move Cam’s stuff into his place, I incorrectly assumed that it wouldn’t be that much stuff. After all, Cam had only been living with me for a few months and everything was neatly packed into the loft. Little did I know that he’s some sort of organizational ninja. He had more crap than anyone I’d ever seen and most of it was clothes.

Add to that the fact that Jason felt it necessary to grill me about what was going on between Drew and me and I was in a foul mood when I got home. If I wasn’t such an idiot, Drew and I could have sat around watching movies until he fell asleep, the way we did most nights when he wasn’t holed up in his bedroom. But no, I’d tried to do the ”right thing” and practically begged Bryce to come over and spend time with him. Bryce, the man who wanted the same thing I did. The man who, if I was being honest, would be better for Drew

on so many levels. Bryce, the man whose car was still in the driveway even though all the lights in the house were turned off. As much as I wanted to, I refrained from slamming the front door when I walked inside. Not knowing what I’d find, I didn’t bother to turn on the lights. It felt much safer to carefully make my way through the dark living area, grab a beer, and retire to my bedroom for the night. I tried to ignore the noises coming from Drew’s room as I walked

down the hall. Unless Bryce was treating him to an innocuous back massage, there was only one reason Drew would be moaning and carrying on the way he was. “Fuck, don’t stop.” Drew’s words were strained, as if he was hanging on by a thread. My dick twitched and I scolded it. Those pleas weren’t for me. The only relief I’d feel tonight would be from my own hand. The only difference between tonight and every night over the past few weeks was that I’d have to listen to Drew and Bryce

across the hall. I hoped against hope that the doors would be enough to muffle the noises that’d keep me up otherwise. The beer I’d been dying to have tasted bitter but I choked it down. I didn’t bother turning on the television, opting instead for a quick shower before climbing into bed for yet another restless night. I considered closing the door to my bathroom but then remembered it was pointless. No one would be coming in to interrupt me. As the hot water pounded against my aching back, I closed my eyes tightly,

refusing to reach down for the nearly painful erection begging for my attention. I tried to think of everything unsexy in the world rather than curl my fingers around my dick while imagining what Bryce was doing to Drew. I knew those moans and had foolishly thought there was a way I could have been the one making Drew sound like that more often. I licked my lips, remembering the salty essence of his skin and the musky smell of his body. Resistance was futile. I gave into my desires and starting stroking my

shaft, brushing my thumb over the head on every pass. Images floated through my mind of Drew lying on his bed, back arching as he convulsed when he came in my mouth. Once you got past the arrogant exterior, he really was a beautiful man. I reached lower, tugging on my balls, not ready for my fantasy to end, even though it still felt wrong to think about him now that he was with someone else. I’d told myself I wouldn’t get wrapped up in another person again when they didn’t reciprocate, but I

couldn’t help myself. I’d tried to resist Drew, but something about the way he tried to push everyone away drew me closer to him. The longer I stood under the water, the more I hated myself for what I was doing. Eventually, that did the trick and my cock went soft. It was amazing how well self-loathing worked to kill the libido. I turned the water off with more force than necessary and quickly dried off. The soft cotton of my sheets caressed my naked body. It took me a

moment to realize why it felt so foreign. Since the attack, I’d started sleeping wearing at least a pair of shorts in case Drew needed me. I stared at the ceiling as I argued with myself. Drew wouldn’t need me tonight. He had someone else next to him who was more than capable of calming him if the nightmares came back. And for all I knew, tonight might be the night he had a peaceful sleep, all because I was an idiot and pushed another man into his bed. I rolled onto my stomach and punched my pillow a few times before

settling in to get some sleep. If I was being honest, the past few weeks hadn’t been the best for me either. Most of the time, I wouldn’t allow myself to fall fully asleep in case something happened with Drew. And when I did, the same scene plagued my mind as did Drew’s. But for me, it was the sight of him lying on the ground, motionless other than the shallow rise and fall of his chest letting me know he was still alive. It was the memory of his attacker running off into the night, me second-guessing whether I should have followed him and yelled for

someone else to call an ambulance for Drew. I parked closer to the bar. As I drove up the street, I saw someone get into a car at the end of the alley. I slowed, waiting for them to pull onto the street so I could take their parking spot. I hurried to get out of the car, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end, telling me something was very wrong. Every step seemed quicker than the one before. When I turned into the alley, Drew was still standing, struggling to break free from the choke

hold of his attacker. I could hear him trying to scream for someone to help, but no one came. I broke into a sprint, screaming bloody murder to save him. His attacker looked up at me with dark, soulless eyes. There was something familiar about the evil sneer he flashed my way before turning to run. “Don’t worry about me,” Drew insisted. He was slumped on the ground now, massaging his throat as he gasped for air. “I’ll be fine. Please catch him.” The please caused my steps to falter. It was as though Drew knew he’d

never escape the danger as long as whoever did this was a free man. I raced to the far end of the alley, losing sight of the attacker when he turned the corner. Luckily, it wasn’t a busy night so he should be easy to spot. Except he wasn’t. I rounded the front of the building in the direction he’d run, but he was nowhere to be found. The streets were completely empty. I bolted up in bed, my hands fisted into the sheets as I tried to catch my breath. Sweat ran down my forehead

as though I’d actually been running. Logically, I knew it was just a dream, but even with my eyes open, I could still see Drew begging me to catch the man who’d done this to him. My heart pounded so furiously it hurt and nothing I did seemed to calm me. I tried taking deep breaths, but every one was ragged. I told myself over and over that it’d be fine, but the tattoo of my heart told me it wouldn’t be. Finally, I gave up trying and slid out of bed, hoping to find something to help quiet my mind for the night. There

was still a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard over the stove from when Cam was here. It wasn’t anything good, but I didn’t care about quality. The only thing I wanted was to drink enough that my body would shut down for one night since I didn’t have to worry about Drew. I made it almost to where the carpet met hardwood at the end of the hall when I heard a noise in Drew’s room again. This time, it wasn’t groans of pleasure, but rather moans of panic and despair. “Stop, please,” Drew begged.

“Why are you doing this to me? Take whatever you want, just please stop kicking me.” I froze, my heart crumbling to the floor, willing me to go wake him while my head reminded me that he wasn’t alone in there. But if he wasn’t alone, why wasn’t Bryce waking him? Why couldn’t I hear Bryce trying to calm him down? I turned back and stood outside Drew’s door, waiting as I listened, silently screaming at Bryce to do something. “Fuck, stop!” Drew’s screams

grew louder and more desperate. “I can’t take anymore. You’re going to kill me!” If Bryce wouldn’t or couldn’t get Drew out of the prison in his mind, he didn’t deserve him. I reached for the knob and stormed in, reminding myself that I had to stay calm for Drew’s sake. The last thing I expected to see was Bryce hovering over Drew, rubbing his jaw and looking utterly helpless. “Don’t just stand there,” I seethed. “We have to wake him up.” “I tried,” Bryce hissed, taking a

step away from the edge of the bed when Drew lashed out in his direction. “As soon as I touched him and said his name, he started swinging, telling me to get the fuck away from him.” I sat at the edge of the bed and tentatively reached out to run my hand down Drew’s back. It had worked the previous nights, but he also hadn’t been combative then. The dreams were getting worse. I looked up and saw Bryce watching Drew’s body visibly relax as I continued whispering to him that he was

okay and that he was safe now. I was to blame for the sadness in Bryce’s eyes. I was the one who’d pushed him to reach out to Drew, and now Drew had punched Bryce for touching him while instantly calming for me. I couldn’t imagine how much that had to sting. “I’m going to go,” Bryce informed me as he started gathering his clothes from the floor on his side of the bed. “Don’t.” Both of us stopped and looked down at Drew, who was now awake with his body curled around the

pillow. He reached back with one hand to make sure I was still there while also reaching for Bryce. “I don’t know what happened, but I don’t want you to leave, Bryce.” The sliver of light from the hallway was enough to highlight the struggle in Bryce’s eyes. His shoulders sagged forward and I realized he was as powerless to resist Drew as I was. “Do you remember what you were dreaming about?” Bryce asked as he took a seat on the other side of the bed. Drew was holding onto both of us

as though we were his lifelines. Drew nodded slightly, looking embarrassed over the fact that he was still haunted by the attack. I continued rubbing Drew’s back, knowing that he was going to be upset when he realized he’d hit Bryce. He might be cocky and a bit self-centered at times, but that didn’t mean he was cold and heartless. “What made you lash out at Bryce?” I asked, knowing we needed to get past this before anyone could get some sleep. “I don’t know,” Drew admitted.

He shifted on the queen-sized bed so he was seated between us. “I didn’t realize I had until I woke up and my hand hurt like hell.” “It’s okay,” Bryce assured him. “You didn’t break anything and I should have known better than to touch you when you didn’t know where you were.” “Would you stop doing that?” Drew shouted. The outburst startled both of us, but it was a good sign that something had finally gotten a strong reaction out of him. Until now, I’d been worried he was going to keep bottling

everything up in favor of just being a grumpy asshole all the time. He needed to let this out. “You can’t keep letting me off the hook every time I do something to you. Maybe you should leave. I’m all fucked up and not any good for anyone right now.” Bryce looked up at me and I couldn’t do anything more than shrug. He was the one who was accustomed to dealing with this type of shit, not me. It was one of the reasons I figured Bryce would be better for Drew than I could ever dream of being.

“Drew, I’m not giving you a free pass,” Bryce informed him. “My jaw hurts like hell and I’m probably going to have one hell of a bruise in the morning. But it really isn’t your fault. You’re trying to get past what happened to you and it’s going to take time. Have you thought anymore about talking to someone?” I bristled, remembering how it’d gone over every time any of us had mentioned the idea of therapy to Drew. Even Stu had suggested that it might be a good idea, but Drew was adamant that

he didn’t need a shrink. It was becoming clearer every day that he was wrong about that. “We’re talking right now,” Drew responded curtly. “But you need someone who will be able to help you. Eric and I can listen, but neither of us are going to be able to give you the tools you need to get better,” Bryce countered. While Drew still seemed opposed to the idea, at least he was listening to what Bryce had to say. That was more than the rest of us had accomplished. “You need someone

who you don’t see outside of your appointments so you can bitch to them about the stupid shit your friends do when they’re trying to help you.” The way Bryce looked up at me as he spoke stung. It was as if he was implying that I was part of the reason Drew wasn’t getting any better. That may not have been the case at all, but it’s how it seemed. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Drew argued. “What’s pissing me off the most is the fact that everyone keeps trying to get me to talk about that night,

as if that’ll do anything to make it better. It won’t. If anything, it’ll just piss me off even more because I don’t remember what happened.” I wanted to pull Bryce out of the bedroom and speak to him in private. I was starting to understand what Drew’s biggest issue was now that he was healing physically, and I had a feeling I could help him work through this. The problem was I didn’t know if it’d do a damn bit of good for either one of us to sit down and rehash everything. I sure as fuck didn’t want to sit down and try to

fill in the blanks, but I was willing to do just about anything to help Drew. “Drew, why don’t you get dressed and meet us down in the rec room?” I suggested. The bedroom wasn’t the place to continue this conversation, and being in the bed with both of them was seriously fucking with my mind. Every time I took a deep breath to calm myself, I caught a faint hint of musk and sweat, no doubt caused by whatever they’d been doing in here earlier. “We’ll talk about whatever you want, but this bed isn’t big enough for

the three of us.” Drew looked from me to Bryce and back again. And then, he did something he hadn’t done in a long time. He actually laughed. “Yeah, this isn’t exactly the way I wanted to have both of you in bed with me. If you want to get some sleep, we don’t have to talk anymore tonight. And Bryce, if you’ll stay, I promise I won’t try to knock you out again.” “I think Eric is right,” Bryce added, carefully avoiding the comment about Drew hitting him. “You need to

talk about what happened and I have a feeling Eric’s the one who’s going to be able to help you the most. He was there. And even if he won’t admit it to you, I have a feeling he’s plagued by a lot of the same memories you are.” I opened my mouth to disagree, but I couldn’t. The whole reason I was awake when Drew had his meltdown was because of my own dreams. Drew needed to know that as well. Maybe knowing that he wasn’t the only person struggling to get past what’d happened would help him realize he wasn’t as

fucked up as he thought he was. I left Bryce to get dressed and walked into the kitchen to get him an ice pack for his face. Drew might not like seeing it, but Bryce was going to be hurting in the morning and I wanted to make sure his face wasn’t any more swollen than it already was. Bryce followed me down the stairs to the basement. The silence between us was awkward. I offered him a drink, which he quickly declined. Fuck that. If we were going to do this, I wanted something and I wanted it to be

the good stuff. I sat on the opposite end of the couch from Bryce, leaving the couch open in case Drew wanted a bit of space from us. When I looked up, I noticed Bryce watching me swirl the whiskey around in my glass. “Look, I’m sorry about tonight,” I apologized. I was beginning to realize that while I had good intentions, it was wrong of me to push anyone to do something before they were ready. It was a character flaw of mine to want the best for everyone, even when it killed me emotionally.

“Don’t be,” Bryce responded with a smirk. “Other than the last twenty minutes or so, it was mostly a good night.” “I’m not sure I want the details, Bryce.” I’d heard enough to know I was once again on my own. Bryce shifted on his cushion so he was looking at me. “That’s where I think you’re wrong.” “No, pretty sure I don’t need to know how you two kissed and made up,” I scoffed. “Honestly, I’m happy for you guys. Drew deserves to have someone in

his life. He’d pretty much given up on that after Cam hooked up with Jason.” “There’s just one problem with that.” Bryce cocked his head to listen for footsteps above us. There were none, which made me think Drew may have gone back to sleep. “I’m not so sure I’m the one who’s going to make him happy any more than you believe you’re the one.” “Huh?” Bryce looked sexy as hell when he narrowed his eyes, wondering if I was really such a dumb jock that I couldn’t understand what he

was saying. Apparently, I was because I was lost. “After I just about walked out tonight, Drew and I wound up having a long talk,” Bryce admitted. He held up his hand to silence me when I tried to remind him I didn’t want to hear about their night. “The one thing I do know is that Drew’s just as confused as we are. He doesn’t know what he wants. With everything that’s happened in the past year, I can’t say I blame him. He got called up from the minors, which from what I’ve heard, isn’t always as

exhilarating as it’d seem. Then, his best friend moved back to town and, whether he’ll admit it or not, he thought that was going to be their chance to be together. He hoped that Cam would understand what Drew felt and feel the same way. But he didn’t. Then he met me, and we started talking. “Now, I’m not saying I’m God’s gift to gay men or anything, but I do think that helped Drew. It gave him someone to talk to rather than feel like he’d been abandoned for a second time by the man he loved.” So far, Bryce had a point.

What I’d been through wasn’t identical to Drew’s year, but we’d gone through a lot of the same things. But Bryce wasn’t done talking. “Then, you came home, and I think he’s a liar if he says he wasn’t attracted to you as well. Hell, you seem like a good guy and you could give him something I couldn’t at the time.” “What’s that?” I scoffed, feeling as though this conversation was going off the rails. “You were here.” Three simple words filled with regret. Had Bryce told Drew sooner that he was going to be

back in town, all of this could have been avoided. Hell, maybe Drew wouldn’t have even gone out that night, in favor of spending time with Bryce. I knew from the way he’d spent every night at the end of the couch with his phone glued to his hands that Bryce was something important to him. “But he wanted you,” I argued. “The only thing I could give him that you couldn’t was a warm bed at night.” “Yeah, that’s it.” Bryce’s response was laced with sarcasm. “Come on, Eric. Think about this

rationally. You’re fucking gorgeous and Drew’s your typical red-blooded male. Being here would have been enough. Anyway, that’s not the point of all of this. What I’m trying to say is Drew’s probably upstairs right now trying to figure out how to act when he’s in the room with both of us. He’s fucked around with you and I’m not going to insult you by saying we haven’t done the same thing.” That was a buzzkill. Again, I tried to interrupt and tell him I didn’t need a play-by-play of the night’s events.

This time, he stopped me by moving closer on the couch and pressing his palm to my mouth. The corner of his mouth turned up in that cocky smirk, which was quickly becoming his signature smile, when I inhaled deeply and shifted to try to get my dick to listen to me for once. “I don’t care if I have to keep my hand here until I’m done talking,” Bryce warned me. “You need to listen to what I have to say because it affects all of us.” This time, it was Bryce squirming around on the couch. My eyes

drifted toward his lap and I could see he was just as turned on as I was. God, I was a miserable excuse for a friend. I was hard as nails for the guy who’d just left Drew’s bed. I swallowed hard and nodded for Bryce to continue. “When he and I were talking tonight, he admitted to me that he’s confused,” Bryce told me. It felt like a betrayal of Drew’s trust for him to share such tidbits with me, but I wasn’t about to try and protest. “He’s attracted to both of us and he thinks he has to choose one or the other.”

I reached up and pulled Bryce’s hand away from my face. “Why would he think that?” “Because no matter how much he tries to come across as tough and wise to the ways of the world, he’s still a country boy at heart,” Bryce observed. He wasn’t far off from the truth. Drew had been raised in a good family in a small town. He’d gone off to a small, private college where he was still fairly sheltered by the athletic department. “I think he’s worried that getting involved with someone is the same as being in a

relationship with them and he has very clear ideas on what that means to him.” “Meaning two people, no more,” I interjected, finally seeing where Bryce was going with all of this. “Exactly.” If Bryce moved much closer to me, he was going to be sitting in my lap. That wouldn’t be a hardship, but it would be uncomfortable since I still didn’t know him well enough to fully trust what he was saying. “I told him I don’t expect him to choose, and I don’t think you do either.” I shook my head, unable to form

words. I’d never met a man who seemed so laid back and easy going, yet could turn on the charisma and make a grown man want nothing more than to follow along with whatever he suggested. “What I’d originally suggested to him was to just do whatever feels right and see what happens,” Bryce informed me. He moved his hand to the back of the couch, allowing his finger tips to brush my shoulder. The faint touch sent a jolt through my system. “But what if there was another way?”

Chapter 13 The biggest benefit of growing up in an old farmhouse was learning how to move around without being heard. It was a skill I’d honed through my high school years because I didn’t want Dad to hear me walking into the house hours after curfew. Now, that skill came in handy again because it allowed me to stand at the top of the stairs listening to the conversation in the basement without them realizing I wasn’t

in my bedroom. I wanted to be angry with Bryce for talking to Eric about me without making sure I was okay with it. Then, I heard the slight hitch in Eric’s voice when he asked Bryce what he meant by there being another way. I was curious as well, only because I was hoping Bryce was about to suggest what I’d been trying to work up the courage to admit I wanted. I didn’t want to pick one or the other. I wanted both of them. Not only that, but more than once, I’d thought about what it’d be like to walk in and

see the two of them together. Would I join in or would I be content to simply stand there and watch? As I listened to Bryce paint almost that exact image for Eric, my cock thickened beneath my sweatpants. Just hearing Bryce talk about the things the two of them could do to me had me gripping the handrail to steady myself. “There’s no reason we can’t both fuck the nightmares out of him,” Bryce stated bluntly. “Get him so worked up he comes hard enough that he passes out. It’d be a surefire way for both of you to

get some sleep.” “What do you mean both of us?” Eric asked. “I’m not stupid, Eric,” Bryce deadpanned. “Drew wasn’t the only one to wake me up tonight. In fact, I was just getting back to sleep when he freaked out on me. It was a certain someone yelling across the hall who woke me.” “Sorry about that,” Eric apologized. I hadn’t even realized Eric had been having trouble sleeping. I’d taken for granted the fact that he was awake every night when the dreams

woke me. I thought it was because he was hovering, but the truth was he had his own demons to face. “Don’t apologize,” Bryce insisted. “I do understand why both of you are having trouble sleeping, but it’s not healthy for either of you. I also know you’re both too proud to admit you need to talk to someone. So, the alternative is for the three of us to consider working together to ensure a good night’s sleep.” “You make it sound like taking a sleeping pill.” Eric chuckled. “Seriously, how can you talk about this

like it’s the most normal thing in the world?” “Because it’s your view of what’s normal that has you thinking it’s not normal,” Bryce argued. “You’re giving in to what society says is healthy without thinking about what feels good. And in a twisted way, the three of us are perfect for that because you’ll eventually go back to Seattle, Drew will be here, and I’ll be splitting my time between here and Portland.” “Whoa, I thought you were talking about a little bit of no-strings

fun.” “I am, but who says those nonstrings have to be cut when you guys go back to work?” Bryce responded. “And maybe you’re right. Maybe we’ll give this a shot and nothing will come of it. But if we’re still having fun, I see no reason to try to make this into something more serious than it needs to be.” “Sounds like a plan to me,” Eric agreed. “But there’s just one other problem.” “What’s that?” Bryce asked. I was curious as well, but seeing as I was

still eavesdropping, I couldn’t exactly ask for myself. “What if the two of you work and Drew and I work, but you and I don’t.” God, I hated Eric for being the sensible one. I would much rather none of us think about what could complicate some great sex. “Hmm…” Bryce was quiet for a long moment. “You could be right. I think we’d better tell Drew to quit listening in from the top of the steps and see what he thinks about this, then maybe we can see if that’s actually going to be an issue.”

It was a good thing I’d slid down the wall so I was sitting on the top step, otherwise I would have likely tumbled into the basement. I sure as hell felt like a little kid as I willed my feet to take each step into the basement. I’d been caught and that was never a good feeling. I expected at least one of them to be upset with me, but instead, they were sitting next to one another on the couch, mirroring each other’s posture with one leg bent on the cushion and the other hanging over the edge. Eric’s arm rested over the top of

Bryce’s and I could see his thumb gently rubbing Bryce’s biceps. Yeah, I didn’t think there’d be any issue with the chemistry between those two. Bryce slid back to the other end of the couch and I watched as his eyes glanced down, wordlessly suggesting that I take a seat between them. This wasn’t a side of Bryce I’d seen before, but I liked it. No, I fucking loved that he was willing to take control of the situation, because someone needed to. “So, how much of that did you hear?” Bryce asked as I tried to get

comfortable while sitting between the two of them. I’d always thought of fantasies as something you dreamed about but would forever remain unattainable, yet I was close enough to mine coming true that I could almost feel Bryce rimming me as Eric fucked my mouth. My mouth went dry and I reached for Eric’s whiskey to wet my palette. “I heard plenty,” I said, not wanting them to know I’d listened to almost every word from when Bryce told Eric it’d been a good night with a few exceptions. I’d heard him make

assumptions about me being some naïve farm kid, which totally pissed me off except it did serve the cause. I honestly hadn’t thought about the reality of having a threesome, not even as a one-time thing. Until my mind got all fucked up over Bryce and Eric, I never thought I’d want more than one person in my bed. I sure as fuck didn’t think it’d ever be possible to have more than that with multiple partners. And perhaps I was a bit sheltered. My parents were high school sweethearts who’d known one another

since they were in Sunday school together. They fell in love, got married, and started a family. While some of that wouldn’t have been possible for me until very recently, I’d always wanted to find a love like the one they had. Since I’d had time to think about it recently, I was fairly certain that was part of why I’d been so drawn to Cam. Yes, I cared deeply for him and likely always would, but seeing him with Jason taught me that what I felt for him wasn’t the type of love that builds the foundation of a relationship. That’s not to say I loved

either of the men sitting with me, but I knew myself well enough to know that, if things went on longer than a few nights, I’d start to get attached. Maybe not to both of them, but to one or the other. And that was the biggest risk of all. “So you’re aware of what I proposed to Eric?” Bryce pressed when I didn’t offer any details. I was incapable of any response beyond nodding. I wanted to pinch myself to see if this was truly happening. “And what do you think about it? Because you have to understand, this isn’t something I’m

suggesting because I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want this for you.” “It sounds hot, but I’m not sure why you think it’s necessary.” My youth and inexperience was showing. Bryce moved closer to me on the couch, close enough that his leg pressed against my thigh and he started running his fingers through my hair. It probably looked like shit since I’d needed a cut before the playoffs had started and hadn’t given a shit since the night we got kicked out of the race for the pennant. “Because I want you to be

happy,” Bryce whispered. He’d leaned in so close I could feel his breath ghosting over my skin. “You’re thinking too hard, trying to force yourself to settle for something when you aren’t even sure what it is you want. This is a way for you to explore that without any guilt, and we all get to have some amazing sex. And you know how hot it’s going to be to have Eric pounding your ass while I fill that gorgeous mouth.” I may have whimpered, although I’d never admit it. Eric chuckled and before I could ask him what was so

funny, I felt a strong hand land over the tent in my pants. “I think he knows exactly how good that’d be,” Eric told Bryce. My hips lifted off the cushion, pressing into Eric’s palm, needing more. His fingers drifted between my legs and he gently squeezed my balls. He leaned in so I could feel both of them breathing against my neck. “How would you feel if I told you I had to jerk off in the shower after hearing you moan for Bryce tonight?” My head fell back as I felt a hand sliding beneath my T-shirt. Bryce began

teasing my nipples as Eric continued stroking my dick through my pants. I wanted more. Needed to feel the warmth of his hand curling around my cock, maybe his mouth sucking me to the back of his throat. “Tell him what you think about that,” Bryce urged. I wasn’t sure I could. The words jumbled in my head, lost in a sea of ”Oh God” and ”Please do that again.” “Come on, baby, you know you want to. And I want you to. I want to know exactly what you’re thinking.” I wanted to scream that I wasn’t

thinking anything. The only thing I thought was that I didn’t want them to stop. Maybe it made me a greedy little bitch, but I wanted them to make me soar. I wanted Bryce to follow through on his suggestion of making it impossible for me to do anything other than pass out. And I knew they could. They would if this went on much longer. “I… oh fuck… holy fucking shit…” Yep, there really were no words, and that seemed to amuse Eric. As one hand slid past the waistband of my pants, Eric gripped my

chin firmly and turned my head toward him. He sealed his mouth over mine, shoving his tongue deep into my mouth as he kept sliding his hand up and down my shaft. When he pulled away, he looked straight into my eyes and I knew he was searching for any hint that I didn’t want this. He wouldn’t find that because I was nearly frantic with need. I felt Bryce’s hands at the waist of my pants and lifted up, allowing him to pull them down over my hips. I felt exposed and raw, sitting there with my cock proudly on display for both of

them. “You say the word and we’ll stop,” Eric assured me. “You too,” I responded, because no matter how greedy I wanted to be, I wouldn’t do something he’d regret tomorrow. “Eric, switch spots with him,” Bryce directed, and I wondered if he’d done this before. Eric hesitated for a moment before standing so I could move to the edge of the couch. Bryce stopped him from sitting back next to me by pushing him toward the floor. “I want to

see you suck him off.” “God yes,” I moaned. My body was on sensory overload as I watched the two of them, thinking about what they were going to do to me. Then, a thought managed to cross my mind. “Um, guys… I want to know you’re both into this before we do anything else.” Eric ran his hands over my bare thighs as he looked over his shoulder at Bryce, who was standing directly behind him. He ran his hands over the bulge in Bryce’s tight jeans and looked back at me. “I don’t think that’s a problem at

all.” Bryce rocked into Eric’s touch, his eyes rolling back in his head. “No problem here,” he assured me. “But what if I need more proof than that?” I teased. God, the air was so thick with sexual tension it was a wonder any of us could breathe, but I felt like being a brat. “You’re both into me, so for all I know, that bulge could just be over seeing me naked.” “And what proof do you think you need?” Bryce asked. Eric looked up to me, waiting for a response.

“Kiss him.” I’d thought about what they’d look like together, but now I wanted to see it. And Bryce didn’t disappoint. He reached down and yanked Eric off the ground, pulling him roughly against his body. The two of them ground against one another as Bryce tangled his fists into Eric’s hair, taking complete control of their kiss. Eric’s balance wavered as Bryce shoved his hand down the back of Eric’s flannel lounge pants. “You going to let me have that ass?” Bryce growled. Eric buried his

face into Bryce’s neck and nodded. I’d never thought of Eric as a bottom, but the way he agreed to being fucked without any hesitation made me realize he needed to be fucked just as badly as I did. Maybe it was a good thing that Bryce was around, because while I wouldn’t adamantly refuse to top Eric, it wasn’t really my thing. Bryce pushed Eric back to the ground as he began unbuttoning his jeans. By the time Bryce had made it around to the edge of the couch and moved the end table, Eric was the only

one left with a stitch of clothing on his body. I wanted to see him, but not enough to stop him when he wrapped his lips around the head of my dick and started tracing his tongue around the crown and through my slit. His moan when he realized what Bryce wanted vibrated around my shaft, threatening to have me coming in less than a minute. I used my good hand to press against his shoulder, pleading with him to give me a minute to regain my composure. He sat back on his heels, content to watch as Bryce guided his cock into

my mouth. He was so aroused that his dick was already weeping precome and I couldn’t get enough of the taste on my tongue. I sucked him deeper, struggling to take his wide shaft. He wasn’t overly long, but my God was he thick. If I struggled this way to take him into my mouth, I could only imagine what it’d be like to have him inside of me. Earlier, Bryce had made it all about me, so this was the first time I was seeing and feeling what he managed to hide behind his zipper. I looked down at Eric and

watched as he sucked on his middle finger. My asshole clenched, hoping he was planning to do what I thought he was. I wanted to feel them filling me, possessing me, claiming me as their own. He spread my legs wider before taking me into his mouth once again, this time pressing his finger along my taint. I lifted my ass off the cushion to give him more room, but he seemed content to stay right where he was. I thought I was going to have to beg him to shove his finger inside of me. I was so wrapped up in figuring out how

to do that without having to release Bryce’s dick from my mouth that I screamed out when he did finally breach my entrance. Bryce gave me a moment to enjoy the sensation before leading my mouth back to where he wanted it. “You like that?” Bryce asked as he rocked deeper into my mouth. He held the back of my head, preventing me from pulling off until I swore he was going to choke me to death. “You like feeling him around your dick and up your ass while you blow me?” I nodded as much as I could and

sucked harder. This time, it was Bryce shouting as he pulled back and thrust into my throat after giving me time to breathe. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous when you let go,” he praised me, running his fingers through my hair. “I can’t wait to see how tight that ass is. Eric, is he as tight as I think he is?” “Mmm-hmm,” Eric confirmed. “So fucking tight.” Eric added a second finger and I nearly lost it when he brushed against my prostate. I wouldn’t have thought I could come again after everything Bryce

had done to me earlier, but now, I needed that next release more than just about anything. “Go easy, Eric,” Bryce requested through stilted breaths. It seemed I wasn’t the only one threatening to explode. Rather than give Bryce a break, I reached around and started playing with his balls. The position was uncomfortable, but I didn’t give a shit. All I knew was my fantasy had come to life and I was going to make Bryce scream. I didn’t get that opportunity,

because Bryce pulled out of my mouth and bent over to get something out of his jeans. I knew what it likely was and I began bucking into Eric’s mouth and down onto his fingers furiously, not ready for this to end but unable to stop myself. Bryce tapped my hip as he stood behind Eric, holding up a condom and lube in one hand. “You want to keep going?” Bryce asked. I nodded and Eric quickly moved out from between my legs. He stripped off his shirt and moved me over on the couch so he could sit next to me. It felt

amazing when he turned my body so I was leaning against him for support, but I couldn’t help but feel as though he was being left out of the fun. After all, he was still dressed from the waist down, even though I could tell from here that his dick was about ready to break the teeth on his zipper. “What about you?” I asked as I tried to position myself so I could return the favor. “Tonight’s about you,” he told me. “You can make it up to me tomorrow.”

I couldn’t stop the wide grin from splitting my face. I’d hoped that this would happen more than once, but I hadn’t really believed it would come to anything more than tonight. Cold, wet fingers broke the dopey gaze I’d been holding with Eric and I arched my back at the sensation of Bryce getting me ready to take that cock that seemed bigger around than a one liter bottle of soda. I wasn’t inexperienced, but I still wasn’t confident all of that was going to fit inside of me.

He worked me first with one finger, then two as he worked my hole open. Meanwhile, Eric kissed the side of my head and twisted my nipples, giving me something to concentrate on other than the sight of Bryce sheathing himself. “God, look at that thing,” Eric whispered. Bryce looked up at us and smiled as he lined himself up against my entrance. “You’re going to be feeling that all weekend.” “I know,” I said, sounding more than a bit wistful. It was going to hurt, but the pain would be so worth it. “And I

can’t fucking wait.” I was stopped from saying anything else as I felt my body stretching to take Bryce’s girth. Fuck, even though I’d known it was going to hurt, I hadn’t imagined how much. As if sensing my pain, Eric shifted and started stroking my cock slowly. “Breathe, you’ve got this,” he encouraged me when I didn’t think I could take another inch. “Focus on what I’m doing for now. It’ll help.” I laid my head back and closed my eyes, tensing every time Bryce

moved to push deeper into my body. Eventually the ring of muscle relaxed, and Bryce pushed until I felt his hips against my ass. “Fuck, that’s tight,” he groaned. I opened my eyes and looked up to see his body covered in a sheen of sweat. My eyes then drifted down to where the three of us were connected. Eric slid his hand lower on my body, threading his fingers around the base of Bryce’s dick, which was still lodged inside of me. After giving himself time to calm down, Bryce started a steady rhythm of

shallow thrusts, each one gliding past my prostate. Eventually, Eric removed his hand and shifted behind me. I felt his body move and then there was a cock next to my head. I licked my lips, wanting another taste of him. I couldn’t get into a position where I could take more than the crown between my lips, but with every lick I was rewarded with another salty drop of his arousal. I sucked and licked, moaned around him as Bryce fucked me. When Bryce’s fingers dug into my hips, lifting my ass higher, there was

no way to keep going. I simply watched as Eric jacked himself off to the same rhythm my ass was being pounded. He wound up coming first, shooting cum all over my chest and stomach. That encouraged Bryce to fuck me even harder, burying himself as my ass clenched around his dick with my orgasm. He quickly followed, his face contorted in a silent scream as he came inside my ass. He pulled out of me and disappeared into the small bathroom, returning with two warm washcloths.

Before tossing one to Eric, he leaned over and licked a path from my belly button to my neck, lapping Eric’s cum as he went. “So, next time I get to take you, right?” he asked before leaning over me to kiss Eric, who groaned in agreement. As I watched them, all I could think was “There’s going to be a next time.”

Chapter 14 The insanity of trying to straighten out Pot of Gold had been a blessing when I’d first arrived in Milwaukee. It had kept my mind occupied with things other than trying to figure out what I should do about everything with Drew. Unfortunately, the deeper I dug, the more dire the situation appeared. It was a wonder they’d managed to keep the doors open as long as they had, and it had become

imperative for me to fix it before we had to tell those kids they had nowhere to go. And I was determined to figure out a way to do that even if it killed me. Unfortunately, that meant I’d had almost no time to spend with Drew and Eric since the night we’d all spent together. I’d expected there to be regrets and awkward distance the morning after, but it’d been amazing. When Drew had tried retreating into his bedroom and I’d started to make my way for the front door, it’d been Eric who stopped us. “Where do the two of you think

you’re going?” he’d asked. I turned around and saw him leaning against the wall, looking so damn sexy I wanted to drop to my knees in front of him and pull down his lounge pants. Like Drew, I felt bad that Eric hadn’t been an equal participant in what we’d done in the basement, but Eric was adamant that he wasn’t keeping score. “I don’t know about him, but I’m going to bed,” Drew responded. His brow furrowed as the doubt visibly crept into his mind. “Oh, I figured we’d do that in

here,” Eric said, pointing toward his own bedroom. “I mean, you two were already planning to spend the night together, but your bed is really too cramped for the three of us.” It didn’t seem odd to me that we’d fallen into this carefully constructed little bubble where it was all of us. No one was left on the outside looking in. I’m sure they both had the same concerns and doubts I did about our ability to keep everything as uncomplicated as possible, but no one mentioned it.

We’d spent a few evenings together, but that’d been the only time I’d spent the night. I needed to stay focused on my deadlines at work and no one had protested when I’d said it was time to go home. If they had, I’d have gladly run out to my car and grabbed the bag I’d left in my trunk just in case. I hadn’t done that because I expected Eric or Drew to invite me to stay, but I’d learned after the first night that I’m not a fan of having to put on the same clothes and go commando. At the same time, I already felt as though I’d pushed them both out of

their comfort zones the first night and didn’t want them to eventually look back and feel as though they’d been manipulated in any way. That was all supposed to change tonight. Eric had stopped by my office on his way home from working out and asked me if I’d like to spend the weekend with them. Not just the night, but the whole weekend. I’d tried to school my features when I told him that sounded like a great idea, but the way his eyes sparkled as I agreed told me that I’d done a shit job of hiding my

excitement. I just had to get to a place where I could stop until Monday without feeling guilty about it. The sun had long since disappeared by the time I walked down the front steps of the building. I’d said goodnight to Jacob and let him know I’d have my phone with me if anything happened over the weekend. He obviously knew something was up, because he spent an inordinate amount of time running through the standard procedures before reminding me he was more than competent enough to keep the

facility from burning to the ground in my absence. I knew he had bigger dreams than hanging around the center, but it dawned on me as I walked to my car that this kid was likely the glue that’d been holding everything together before I arrived. I made a mental note to talk to the director on Monday and see if there wasn’t something we could do to recognize his hard work and help him get to where he wanted to be. I waited until my car was warming up to check my messages. There was one from Eric, asking me to

call him before I came over. That sounded ominous. “Hello?” he answered before the phone could even ring on my end. “Hey, sorry I didn’t call sooner,” I apologized. “It was a long day and I had my phone on silent. What’s up?” Eric didn’t respond immediately and I started to worry that he was going to tell me Drew was having another one of his bad days. They weren’t as frequent as they’d been at the beginning, but they still occurred. Most of the time, the decline of his mood correlated to

Eric trying to get him out of the house. Drew felt safe within the confines of the home they shared. His attacker was still roaming free, and I got the distinct impression he was trying to avoid admitting that it terrified him to think about that concept. Hell, it would likely turn me into a hermit if I were in his shoes. Still, that didn’t mean it was healthy. “Eric? Are you there?” I prompted when he remained silent. “Yeah, sorry.” It wasn’t my imagination. Something was distracting

the normally focused man I’d grown to think of as something more than a friend. Someone who I could finally admit to myself I thought had the potential to be an excellent partner. “I know I asked you to come over for the weekend, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” Life seemed to be full of ideas that seemed good at the time and quickly fell apart. “Oh, okay,” I said, trying to not sound upset. And I wasn’t, really. I was more confused than anything. Earlier, Eric had practically bounced in his seat when I told him I’d love to

spend some time with them. Did that mean Drew was the hold out? Had he been upset with Eric’s scheme? Did he feel as though the two of us were forcing him into something he’d seemed to want and was now having second thoughts about? “Don’t sound like that,” Eric pleaded. “Believe me, I’m no happier about it than you are. It’s just…Cam’s coming home and Drew isn’t sure he’s ready to face questions from his best friend.” “And he thinks he’d have to if

we were both there?” That was ridiculous. Jason had stopped by once when we were all hanging out and he didn’t suspect anything was going on. We were capable of keeping our hands off one another when others were around. “I know, I said the same thing,” Eric huffed. “The thing is, he and Cam have been friends forever and he’s sure Cam will see it on his face and pull him aside. And he doesn’t want that. Not tonight, at least. He wants to make sure tonight’s all about welcoming Cam home

and hearing about how things went with the show.” “I get it,” I assured him. And I did. The chemistry between the three of us was insane. Most guys might not see it, but that was because they didn’t know or care to look for it. But Cam was different. I’d heard from Jason how rocky things were for them at the beginning, when Drew was forced to admit that he had feelings for his best friend which ran deeper than typical childhood friendship. I couldn’t blame him for that, because under the

usually gruff, sometimes cocky exterior lay a man with a heart of gold. And I considered myself lucky to have seen glimpses of that. “Why don’t I give you a call in the morning?” Eric offered. “I have a feeling Jason’s not going to give up Cam for the entire weekend, so maybe we can just delay the start until tomorrow and you can spend Sunday night here if you want.” “Yeah, I can do that,” I told him. “I’m really sorry about this,” he responded, and I could tell he was. It

may have been wishful thinking, but it seemed to me that he was just as disappointed as I was that we weren’t going to get our repeat of the night in the basement. “It is what it is,” I said. “If you could, ask Drew to give me a call.” I couldn’t explain why, but I needed to talk to him. I needed some sort of reassurance for him that Cam coming home wasn’t simply a convenient excuse to get out of spending time together. Unfortunately, he’d run so hot and cold since the attack that it was impossible

for me to squash those thoughts. “Will do. He’s taking a shower right now, so it might be a bit.” We both laughed because it had become an ongoing joke that Drew made it his mission in life to try and drain the hot water heater. It had also crossed my mind that it was an escape for him. He could hide in the bathroom as long as he wanted and no one would push him to talk or do anything. And the man needed to be pushed because it wasn’t healthy to spend all day every day alternating between screwing around on the

computer and vegetating in front of the television. He was an athlete, and he needed to remember that letting himself go in a fit of self-pity wouldn’t do any good in the long run. We hung up and I pulled onto the street, aiming the car toward the Chinese takeout place on my way home. I was sick of eating Chinese all the time, but the people there had gotten to know me and were always friendly when I walked in. I’d just placed my order when my phone rang again. I checked the

caller ID and saw it was Jason. “Don’t you have better things to do than bother me?” I asked, trying to sound put out by his call. And I was perturbed, but it wasn’t his fault, it was his boyfriend’s because he was the one who was coming home unannounced. “Well, hello to you too.” Jason chuckled. “And no, I don’t have anything more pressing at the moment. I’m sitting here waiting for Cam’s flight to land, but they’re delayed.” “And I was the only person you could think of to entertain you?”

“No, asshole, I was calling because we’re having an impromptu welcome home party and I was hoping you’d come,” he told me. I had to figure out how I was going to get out of this. I reminded myself that this didn’t mean Jason suspected anything. In fact, if he did, he likely wouldn’t have called me since I had to imagine the party was at Eric’s. For some reason, his place appeared to be the venue for just about any gathering their group had. Still, Eric had begged off me coming over tonight and let me

know Drew wasn’t comfortable with all three of us being there when Cam was around. I had to respect that. “That’d be great, but I just ordered dinner.” The excuse was lame, but it was the only thing I could come up with. “Not a valid excuse,” Jason shot back. “Knowing you, that means you plan on heading back to your completely depressing apartment and working all night. Well, I’m sorry but that’s not going to happen. You’re working too hard and you need a night off.”

“I can’t afford a night off,” I lied. He wasn’t wrong that I’d wind up going back to my apartment to work all night, but I didn’t need to. I’d made sure I got enough done at the office today that I wouldn’t feel guilty for spending the entire weekend with Drew and Eric. “Yeah, you can,” Jason insisted. “I know you. You’ve been obsessing over how to fix all the center’s problems as quickly as possible even though it’d take a miracle to turn it around in less than a year or two.” I should’ve known better than to

share so much with Jason. He liked to pretend he was nothing more than a ball player, but the truth was he had one hell of a future in business when his playing days ended. If he didn’t possess such a knack for picking up on where companies were failing, it would’ve been easier to bullshit him and get out of this little party. “Exactly. They’re in worse shape than I originally thought, and I need to get some things sorted out so we’re not handing a hopeless situation off to whoever we hire to run the center,” I

shared with him. “And you’re going to burn out,” he stated bluntly. “It’s my job as your friend to keep that from happening. So, you’re going to go to your place, put the takeout you picked up into the fridge and get ready to let loose for one night. Besides, I’d really like for you to get to know Cam better. He’s worried that you don’t like him because we weren’t exactly in a good place when the two of you met.” “And did you point out to him that that’s not how I operate?” I asked. I

understood why Cam might feel that way, but I also knew Jason was an intelligent man and wouldn’t put up with anyone taking advantage of him or leading him on. In my mind, I hadn’t given it a second thought when Jason told me that he and Cam were both trying to figure out what they wanted in life and that sometimes it wasn’t easy. “Yeah.” Jason laughed. “Unfortunately, Cam’s the type of guy who needs to see and hear it for himself before he’ll truly believe it.” “And let me guess, it’s important

to you that the two of us get along?” I teased. Hopefully Drew understood that my friend was almost as pushy as his friend and wouldn’t be too upset about me choosing the path of least resistance. If I stood my ground and refused to go, that’d make Jason think I wasn’t interested in getting to know the man he’d fallen in love with. “Something like that,” Jason grumbled. It seemed he was uncomfortable admitting just how important Cam’s comfort was to him. Personally, I thought it was refreshing to

see him finally stepping out of the shadow he’d been in since Adam’s death. “So, are you coming?” I considered admitting to him why I was so hesitant to accept his invitation. Knowing some of the secrets he’d kept in his life, I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Cam, about what had been going on between Drew, Eric, and me. I knew that, but I still couldn’t bring myself to betray their trust in any way. That left me with only one option. “Sure, just tell me what time you plan on being there.”

“It looks like Cam’s flight just landed,” he informed me. “So, by the time he gets his bags and I break it to him that he doesn’t live with Eric anymore, I’d say about an hour or so.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Given what I’d heard about the two of them combined with Jason’s complete inability to set a schedule and stick to it, I knew there was no way in hell they’d get to Eric’s in anything less than two. Then again, that could work to my advantage because I could head over there early and make sure Drew wasn’t

going to have a meltdown. “Sure, so you’ll be there about eight?” I asked, although it wasn’t really a question at all. This time, it was Jason who chuckled. “You have no faith in me.” “Nope. I’ve known you long enough to know you’re incapable of being on time anywhere.” “Okay, so then let’s say eightthirty and we’ll do our best to be there by then.” Jason paused while he listened to an announcement over the public address system. “If you want, head on

over whenever. I’m sure Drew is busy trying to do too much to make sure everything’s perfect for when Cam gets there.” “Oh, so what you’re really saying is you want me to go over and make sure the Mavericks’ rising star doesn’t hurt himself?” Jason was probably right about Drew trying to make sure nothing was out of place for tonight. Even though I was relatively new to Drew’s life, I could see that it was important to him to please Cam. “I didn’t say that at all,” Jason

disputed. “But we both know it’s true. Just go over there and make sure he sits down and relaxes for a bit.” “No worries, I was just giving you a hard time,” I reassured him. “Now, go get your man, take him home for a quickie and get your ass over to Eric’s. I’m not cut out to play hostess.” I debated going home to put on something more comfortable and decided I’d haul my bag into Eric’s and change there. There was bound to be tension over me showing up despite Drew’s request that I not and I wanted

time to let him know where I stood when it came to others knowing about the three of us.

Chapter 15 The smile on my face when I saw headlights flash past the tall windows along the side of the house quickly faded when the back door opened. I’d expected it to be Cam and Jason, but it was Bryce. I quickly schooled my reaction so he wouldn’t think I was unhappy to see him. I was elated and that was the problem. Although I’d practically begged Eric to call Bryce and ask him to not

come over tonight, it’d killed me to do so. The only way to explain how I felt when Bryce was around was that he grounded me. I wasn’t used to relying on someone else to make me feel secure and stable. If Bryce noticed my discomfort, he didn’t mention it as he dropped a bag inside the door and stalked over to me. He took a quick glance around the room before curling his fingers around the back of my neck and pulling my face toward him for a searing kiss filled with longing and desperation.

My body melted against his, realizing I was a fool to think I could turn him away. No, I wasn’t looking forward to the myriad of questions my best friend was likely to ask, but the interrogation would be worth it to have him around. Just feeling his arms wrapped tightly around my back steadied me, prepared me for a house full of friends. I’d agreed to having the guys come here because it was better than having to go to Jason’s, but that didn’t mean I was happy about it. Although

Eric assured me it was only going to be the few who were in town, I still felt on edge. I knew none of the guys who’d be here tonight were responsible for my attack, but the cops were no closer to having a suspect which meant my overactive mind viewed everyone as a potential threat. I hadn’t shared that with Eric or Bryce, but I’m sure they both noticed how I stiffened whenever it was more than just us in the house. “I thought you weren’t coming over tonight,” I said when we broke the kiss so both of us could breathe. I saw

Eric enter the room and motioned for him to join us. I still wasn’t comfortable doing anything with one of them when the other wasn’t involved. If we were to keep exploring whatever was going on between us, we needed to figure out what was acceptable to everyone. As much as I’d grown to enjoy our times as a threesome, I still longed for time with each of them individually, and wanted them to explore that aspect as well. “No, you asked that I not come tonight,” Bryce corrected me. “And I’ll have you know I was perfectly fine with

that, but Jason asked me to come and I couldn’t turn him down without outing the three of us.” Eric laughed as he worked his way into our embrace. “I hate to break it to you, but there’d be no outing there,” he informed Bryce. “Jason’s known about me for almost two years now and he’s known about Drew since summer.” “That’s not what I meant,” Bryce growled, turning his head to bite Eric’s neck. Suddenly, having a house full of our closest friends was a colossally bad idea. There wasn’t time to beg Bryce to

take us to the bedroom which meant the three of us were going to be battling the sexual frustration all night. “Unless you’ve told someone, no one knows about the three of us. And being totally honest, not everyone’s going to be okay with it. Not even if we tell them we’re just fucking around.” “What do you mean if? Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I asked, breaking away from the guys as much as I didn’t want to. Our guests would start arriving soon. Eventually, they’d figure out what was going on, but we didn’t need to give

them a live display of what happened behind closed doors. “Come on, Drew,” Bryce scoffed. “We can tell each other that it’s just sex, but when was the last time we did anything more than hand jobs or blow jobs?” Good point. I shrugged, trying to figure out where he was going with this line of thought. I had a feeling I knew, but I wasn’t ready to admit it just yet, not even to myself. The three of us made sense, almost as much as it didn’t. It shouldn’t be possible to need two

people as much as I needed Bryce and Eric. It shouldn’t be possible to long for their touch when I spent so much of my time pushing them away. “Yeah, you can’t answer that because you aren’t comfortable with the answer,” Bryce chided. I wanted to be pissed at him for thinking he knew me so well, but I couldn’t. Because he was right on point and that was just one more thing I wasn’t certain about. In the past, I’d been able to keep an emotional distance from most people. It was safer that way because it meant I wouldn’t

have to face uncomfortable truths about myself. No, I wasn’t ashamed about being gay, but the fact that I’d heard all the hateful slurs from coaches and other players my entire life was a harsh reality. They hadn’t directed them at anyone in particular, but they’d stung just the same. “I’m not going to push you to call this anything more than what you’re comfortable with, but remember the one thing I asked of you the night I came over here for dinner and a movie.” “What’s that?” Eric asked, having not been privy to that particular

conversation. “Honesty.” Bryce looked directly into my eyes as he spoke the word. Then, he looked at Eric as he continued to explain. “I promised Drew this could be whatever he wanted it to be, whether it was him with each of us on his own or as it turned out, the three of us together. The only request I made is that we’re all honest with one another about what we’re feeling. It’s the only way a relationship can work, especially when it’s more than two people.” “You sound like you’ve done this

before,” Eric pointed out. Now that he mentioned it, Bryce did seem to be in the driver’s seat most of the time. It was as though he had experience juggling more than one partner. Bryce shook his head. “No, I’ve had friends in poly relationships, but always thought it would be too much of a hassle to be worth it,” he said bluntly. I was curious if he felt that way about us, or if he would. We had the added complication of not all being in the same place most of the year. The fact that we’d come together at the beginning of

the off season was serendipitous, but it also set us up for a major fall when it was time for Eric and I to head back to work, or when Bryce was sent back to Portland. “And now?” Eric urged, stepping closer to me. Whether intended or not, I feared it would seem to Bryce that Eric was making a silent statement of his allegiance to me over Bryce. Bryce stepped in, countering Eric’s action so subtly that I felt my cock thickening. I wasn’t even sure Bryce understood what it did to me when he

took control the way he did, but he’d have to be a fool to not feel me pressing into his thigh. “Now, I’m beginning to see how brilliant they were,” Bryce admitted. “Even though we’ve had more downs than ups so far, I think this has the potential to be something pretty damn awesome.” Eric laughed, holding out one arm as he wrapped the other around me, pulling Bryce back into his embrace. It was a clear gesture that, to his mind, we weren’t three individuals, but rather a

single, slightly dysfunctional unit. “Well, I’ll be damned.” The three of us leapt apart at the sound of Cam’s voice from the back door. I turned to look at him, my face blanching as I realized we were well and truly busted. Leave it to Cam to make tonight be the first time he and Jason managed to show up on time. Rather than interrogate me, he turned his anger and confusion on his boyfriend. “Did you know about this? I mean seriously, how could you have not told me that Drew was fucking two hot guys? Here I felt bad for not being here

when you told me about him getting the shit kicked out of him, and he had two men here catering to his every whim? What in the actual fuck, Jason?” Jason stood there, mouth gaping as Cam beat against his chest. Finally, he had enough and wrapped his hands around Cam’s wrists, probably to stop him before Jason’s chest was bruised. “I didn’t…” His gaze kept flicking between all of us as he tried to find something to say. “Well fuck, that explains a lot.” He let go of Cam’s arms and

walked past all of us on his way to the fridge. He cracked open the first bottle of beer and took a long draw. When he spun around to face us, his brow furrowed tightly. He pointed at me and shook his head. “Man, you don’t do anything half-ass, do you?” I looked at Eric and then to Bryce. “Nope, apparently I don’t.” I could practically feel Cam’s glare burning into the back of my head. At the current moment, Jason seemed to be the lesser of two evils. My shoulders stiffened when Eric moved directly

behind me and Bryce took his place at my other side, putting up a united front. “What business do any of you have getting serious about one person, let alone taking on two partners?” Jason asked accusingly. Although his thoughts weren’t that far off from what’d been running through my own mind most nights, it pissed me off to hear him questioning us. The relationship I wasn’t sure I wanted a short time ago was not something I was willing to discuss with him. Luckily, Bryce took the lead as

he typically did when we were together. He stepped between Jason and me, squaring his shoulders to make it clear that he was the one in control. “More business than you have jumping to conclusions. I love you like you were my own blood, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have no business judging what anyone else does in private.” “I wasn’t judging,” Jason quickly explained. “I just don’t see this going anywhere good.” Cam slid in beside Jason, working his way against his chest. For

the first time, I was able to look at them without the slightest hint of jealousy clouding what stood before me. The way Cam looked up at him as he ran his hand across Jason’s cheek was the way I used to wish he’d look at me. But no matter how I might try, I’d never be able to make his eyes shine the way Jason could. As I felt the warmth of Eric’s arm across my back, I realized I didn’t need that anymore. I had everything I needed right here, if only I could be man enough to admit it was what I wanted. “You know, as long as I’ve

known you, you’ve been a pessimist,” Bryce said. Eric and I could have easily walked out of the room and the three of them wouldn’t have noticed. The only reason Cam’s absence would be missed was because he had cozied his way close enough to Jason that there wasn’t a sliver of space between their bodies. I envied my friend, wishing it were that easy for me to show affection for those I cared about rather than pushing them away when the emotional bullshit got to be too much. “Maybe that’s because of the circumstances, but you have to admit

you were wrong about your own life being doomed to misery. I’d like to think you’re wrong about this as well. But if not, all three of us are big boys and can make that decision for ourselves.” More headlights shone through the window. If someone didn’t defuse the situation brewing in front of me soon, whoever was here would get one hell of a show. And possibly be called in to break up a fight between Jason and Bryce. One trait the two of them shared was that they were both fiercely protective over those they cared about.

Unfortunately, they seemed to quickly be devolving into a dick measuring contest to see who knew Eric and me best. While Jason had known both of us longer, I had to admit, Bryce had an uncanny ability to read people within minutes of meeting them. When neither Eric nor Cam showed any sign of getting involved, I stepped forward. “Guys, I’m feeling the love, really, but tonight’s not about me or Eric or Bryce. We’re supposed to be welcoming Cam home.” “Oh, come on, you know I love

good drama,” Cam teased. He finally detached himself from Jason and wrapped his arms around my neck, whispering so only I could hear. “You and I will be discussing this later.” My stomach lurched at his warning. This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted to deal with all three of us being in the same room as Cam. Not tonight. He was going to drag me down to the basement and give me the third degree, wanting every lurid detail of what I’d been up to since he was gone. “It’s good to see you too.” I

laughed and gave my friend a quick slap on the back. “Since you’re home already, I’m assuming you wound up getting cut?” Cam had always been shit at keeping secrets. Even when the words didn’t spill past his lips, the truth was always in his eyes. And when he really wanted to say something he wasn’t supposed to, he bit down on his lips. It had to hurt to have his lips pinched so tightly between his teeth. “Never mind, forget I asked,” I said, letting him off the hook. While I might not be the big shot who’d made it

onto a reality cooking competition, I knew enough about the entertainment industry to understand they’d most certainly made him sign all sorts of nondisclosure agreements. Plus, I knew it’d kill him even more to think I didn’t care to know how he’d fared in New York. “That’s it?” he scoffed, following me down the hall to my bedroom. I’d picked up Bryce’s duffel bag, hoping to stash it away before anyone else started asking questions. “You’re not even going to push me just a little?”

“Nah, I’ll find out when the rest of the world does,” I teased, trying my best to sound put out. “It’s okay, I get it. You’re taking all those contracts you signed seriously.” Cam made himself at home, flopping down onto my bed. God, how many times had I wished to see him lying exactly as he was, with his long legs stretched out and his head propped up on his hand? Only, in those fantasies, he’d been wearing a lot less clothing. Now that the dynamic in our relationship had changed, it felt strange to remember that

I’d ever thought of him that way. “You know I’d tell you if I could,” Cam whined. He was so damn gullible sometimes. Hell yes I got it, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. “It’s killing me, but I can’t say anything to anyone. Not even Jason, and believe me, he’s been making some pretty harsh threats, trying to get me to talk.” “So tell him,” I urged, knowing if he told Jason, he’d feel guilty enough that he’d have to tell me. “It’s not like he’s going to spread it around or sell spoilers to anyone.”

Cam grabbed my pillow and hugged it tightly to his chest. “Damn, I forgot how evil you can be,” he complained. “You know they made me sign a shitload of paperwork and I’ll walk away with nothing if they find out I’ve been talking to anyone.” Whether he realized it or not, he’d just given me a hint as to how far he’d made it, and that was really fucking far. That confused me since the episodes were always spread out over months, but I guessed it made sense that they wouldn’t drag out filming as long.

“Not cool,” Cam warned me as he threw the pillow at my head. “You totally just fucking tricked me!” “Did not,” I protested, throwing the pillow back at him. Unlike Cam, I knew how to throw and I hit my mark. “You just suck at secrets.” Having Cam back in town felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. No, he wasn’t what I used to dream he’d become, but in a strange way I felt as if we were closer than we’d ever been. Probably because there were no secrets between us, thanks to his

shitty punctuality tonight. Cam scooted up to the head of the bed and propped a pillow behind his back so the rough timbers of the headboard didn’t dig into his back. While it went well with the atmosphere of Eric’s luxury log home, it sucked when you wanted to sit up in bed. His face took on a serious expression I wasn’t sure I’d seen from him before. “So, you need to start talking and do it fast. What in the hell happened while I was gone?” “Oh, you know… beating in an

alley, Bryce is in town indefinitely for work, Eric had to do everything but wipe my ass for the first few days,” I began as if none of this was out of the ordinary. “Then, I turned into a total prick like I always do when I’m aggravated, but for some fucked up reason, those two haven’t given up on me yet.” “Is it serious?” Cam asked with a hopeful look on his face. I shrugged, still trying to decide if I saw the same possibilities Bryce had laid out before we were interrupted. I’d

love to think it’d be possible for the three of us to figure out a way to work the logistics, not only in bed, but even more when the baseball season started. But that was a fool’s dream. “Oh, my God,” Cam practically squealed. I dug my finger into my ear, pretending he’d damaged my ear drum. “You’re falling for one of them, aren’t you?” “No,” I answered emphatically. At least that much was true. I wasn’t falling for one of them, but if I let my guard down, I could easily fall in love

with both of them. And that shit didn’t happen, not to guys like me. “Shut up! You so are!” I wondered if they could hear Cam’s every word out in the living area. “No, I’m really not,” I insisted, my face impassive even though my heart raced uncontrollably. “Look, things between us are still new. If you’d asked me before you left if I’d ever in a million years even think about being with two guys, I’d have asked if you were high. You know that’s not my style.”

“But they made you change your mind?” Cam asked, pretty much finishing what I’d been about to say. I sat down on the bed next to him. Only briefly did I think about the last time we’d had a chance to sit down and talk like this. Not before he left for New York, but back when we were still in high school. Before shit got complicated. It was good to finally feel as though I truly had my friend back. “They did,” I responded. Knowing that Cam didn’t seem to think it was fucked up did a lot to ease my

nerves. I wasn’t foolish enough to assume everyone would react so well. “Will you throw something at me if I ask why?” he asked. I draped my arm over his shoulder, the same way I had when we were younger. Back then, it’d been to comfort him when he’d faced the wrath of his piece of shit uncle, but it became a matter of needing to feel him next to me. I needed to know he was still there, no matter what. “Like I said, they haven’t given up on me,” I admitted. It sounded like a

crappy reason to get involved with someone, but it really wasn’t. The fact that they kept pushing me to get better showed me just how much they cared. As we sat there, I wondered to myself if I might have been unconsciously testing them. “Not only that, but when they both realized I was struggling to figure out which one of them I wanted more, they offered me a solution where I wouldn’t have to choose.” “And you think that’s going to work?” I’d have been upset about Cam’s doubts, but they were valid. Besides, I

knew he was only trying to look out for what was best for me. I appreciated that. “I guess only time will tell,” I said, unwilling to say anything more that might jinx us. I was trying to live in the moment for once in my life, without worrying about what might happen down the road. Ever since I could remember, I’d been the one who tried to plan out not only the next step in my life, but what came five steps down the road. That had worked for me up to a point, but the truth was it also led to a very lonely existence and major letdown when things didn’t go

the way I’d planned. “Now, let’s get back out there before they come looking for us.”

Chapter 16 By the week of Thanksgiving, everything seemed to be moving along smoothly. Drew was still mostly a hermit, but he’d made an effort to get out of the house a few times. He’d even agreed to mentor a student at Pot of Gold, which I figured was a huge step in the right direction. He needed to get out there and see that others had it worse than him, and even though they were

younger, they were far wiser than his sheltered life had allowed him to be. One young man in particular seemed to be leaving an imprint on Drew’s heart. While he’d originally agreed to meet with the kid once a week to help him catch up in school¸ Bryce and I had started joking that we’d never see him if I didn’t go down to the center to visit Bryce every day after working out. Cody had dropped out of high school after his parents kicked him out. Not only that, but his father had beat the shit out of him for destroying his chances

at a basketball scholarship by getting caught making out with one of his teammates in the locker room. Drew had made it his mission to do everything in his power to make sure Cody caught up on the classes he’d missed and still had the chance to go to college. “I don’t get it,” he’d said when he got in the car. He’d been working with Cody for about a week and every night he grew more agitated with the situation. “All he wants to do is play ball. Yeah, he fucked up by fooling around in the locker room, but was that

really such a major crime? Kids get caught fucking around in school all the time and it doesn’t get them a beating when they get home.” “True, but I think it was more the fact that his old man thought it was a reflection on their entire family that put him over the edge.” His dad was a bit more extreme than a lot of people, but from what Drew and Bryce had told me, he was a blue collar worker who’d seen his son as a chance to correct all the mistakes he’d made when he was younger. Unfortunately, all he’d managed

to do was put his son in the same place he’d been in at one point. “Cody is a prime example of why Bryce needs to keep doing what he’s doing. He’s back in school and he may still be able to graduate on time. And in a twist of fate, by his father kicking him out, he’s in a better district than he was before.” “I know, but I still can’t imagine how hard it’d be for him to know that his family is out there and doesn’t give a damn.” I knew what Cody was going through. I was lucky enough to have my grandfather step up to the plate and raise

me when my own parents weren’t around, but it still hurt to see other kids having a great time with their families, knowing I would be going home to Pa kicked back in his recliner with the evening news cranked up loud. But he was there. He made sure I didn’t want for anything and he was my biggest cheerleader at every game. He pushed me, hard, because he wanted to make all of my dreams come true. “That’s because you have a family who loves you,” I pointed out. I reached over and took Drew’s hand in

my own, noticing how much thinner his left hand was than his right. He’d finally gotten rid of the cast, but there was a lot of work to do to make sure he’d be strong enough to play come spring. “They’ve always accepted you for who you were and supported you. Not everyone has that. But the world needs the guys like you to remind the rest of us that life goes on. That there is something more out there for us, even when people say there isn’t. Hell, look at what you’ve done for Cam.” “I haven’t done anything for

him,” Drew protested, looking out the window of the car. “You have,” I insisted. “You brought him home to your family when no one else wanted him. Your parents taught him he wasn’t as worthless as his uncle tried to make him believe he was. And that love helped him get to where he is today. Hell, would you have ever thought the kid you met back in school would be driving himself crazy trying to keep from telling us how far he made it on A Cut Above?” That made Drew laugh. As he sat

silently in the passenger’s seat, I could tell he was thinking back to his own youth, hopefully realizing just how much his family had done to save Cam. I didn’t know the guy well, but Jason had told me enough stories that I knew Cam credited the Jackson Family with saving his life. Had it not been for them, it would have been easy for him to become nothing more than another statistic like the boys and girls at Pot of Gold. Instead, everyone had gathered around last weekend to watch the premiere of the cooking competition he

was on. Drew had beamed as he watched Cam glide around the studio kitchen as if he’d been there his entire life. All of us had cheered when he’d been handed an apron with his name embroidered on it, marking his move into the top twenty competitors of the season. “See, I’m right,” I teased. “Maybe you should think about what your family did for him back then and figure out a way you can do the same for kids like Cody. You have the chance to make a difference in his life.”

“I’m trying, but no one’s listening,” Drew grumbled. And it seemed we’d gotten to the core of his foul mood. “I talked to the athletic director today and he didn’t seem receptive to reinstating Cody’s scholarship. He’s worried that Cody will be a distraction to the rest of the team.” “Then you have to prove to him that he won’t be,” I suggested. It wouldn’t be easy, but it could be done. We’d all heard the same concerns, all thought we had to hide who we were

because if our teammates knew there was a gay man in the locker room we’d become a liability to the team. “But how?” he asked. It’d be easy for me to list off the ways he could show this athletic director that the sports world was ready for athletes to go out there and do their jobs without anyone thinking less of them because of who they were attracted to. But I wouldn’t, because Drew needed as many distractions as possible, and if I knew anything about him, I knew he’d sit there thinking about how to help Cody until the

solution came to him. And then, he’d put his plan into action and refuse to quit until something worked out. “That’s something you need to figure out,” I told him as we pulled into the driveway. I smiled when I saw Bryce’s car already in the driveway. He’d been staying here most of the time, even though it was a bit of a drive from the center. “But I have faith you’ll do it.” The house smelled amazing when we walked inside. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. I’d spent most of the

afternoon running around, trying to pick up the ingredients Cam needed in order to make Thanksgiving dinner for those who were in town. The entire time, I’d been freaking myself out about the fact that Drew’s parents were going to be joining us. Our friends had taken fairly well to the news that Drew, Bryce and I were all together, but I didn’t know what to expect from Drew’s family. They seemed open minded and accepting, but this would be pushing the limits of what most people found to be acceptable. And

I couldn’t blame them if they were concerned for Drew. We just had to make them see that there was nothing to worry about, because what we had might be weird to most people, but it worked for us. “Honey, we’re home,” I called out, hoping to draw Bryce out from wherever he was hiding. Drew made his way down the hall while I tried to find an area of the counter Cam wasn’t using to make us something quick to eat. Cooking was out of the question because the oven was full and there were three

pots simmering on the stove. All with Cam nowhere to be found. Had it been anyone else, it would have pissed me off to know that he’d run an errand while in the middle of cooking, but this was Cam. He’d sooner call a grocery service to bring him something than risk burning his creations. My food was forgotten when I heard playful shouts coming from my bedroom. Now that Drew was healed and cleared by the doctor, he’d picked up a bit of a playful streak that I’d never seen from him before. From the sounds

of it, he was enjoying tormenting Bryce without me. I threw the bedroom door open and saw the two of them wrestling around on the bed. Or more, Bryce pinning Drew to the bed with his hand over his head. “You two are going to be the death of me,” I complained. Okay, so it wasn’t a complaint at all. Our sex life had been fucking amazing, but the two of them both seemed insatiable over the past week or so. Every time I turned around, they were grinding up on one another or working together to drive me

out of my mind. “Then get the fuck over here and join us,” Drew suggested, pulling his hand free from Bryce’s grasp and holding it out to me. He licked his lips as he eyed the erection barely restrained behind my sweatpants. I should be responsible and remind them that Jason and Cam were going to stay here for the night because Cam insisted on cooking, but when Bryce turned his smoldering gaze on me, I was a goner. I kicked the bedroom door closed and stalked over to the bed, pushing Bryce off Drew as I

lay down next to him. Drew wasted no time shoving his hand down the back of my pants, digging his fingers into my ass. I groaned as I ground my erection into his thigh and reached out for Bryce. I’d never wanted anyone the way I needed both of them. Drew turned to kiss Bryce, knowing how much it turned me on to watch the two of them battle for control. I fumbled as I worked to unbutton Drew’s jeans, needing to feel the hot, silky skin of his cock against my hand. His hips arched off the bed and he moaned into Bryce’s

mouth as I began stroking him. I faintly heard the sound of a door closing in the distance, but I was too consumed by need to stop what I was doing. Instead, I slid down Drew’s body, positioning myself between his legs. He sat up and I followed, saliva pooling in my mouth as I thought about that first taste of precome beading at the head of Drew’s cock. I wanted that and so much more. As I went to work taunting Drew by tracing my tongue around the very tip of his dick, I felt the bed shift. I looked

up to see Bryce rummaging through the night stand. I moaned around Drew’s shaft, knowing what was about to happen. Someone was going to get fucked. I wouldn’t ask for it, but I hoped like hell it was going to be me. The snick of the lube cap opening worked to ratchet my need up to a desperate level. I lifted my ass in the air, hissing when I felt Bryce’s fingers curl around my waistband. He pulled down my pants, exposing my ass to the cool air. As I sucked Drew all the way to the back of my throat, Bryce toyed

with my senses, first digging his fingers into the globes of my ass, then ghosting them over the sensitive flesh. He pulled my ass cheeks apart and leaned in, exhaling softly against my hole. I pulled off Drew long enough to beg Bryce to give me something, anything, because I felt ready to explode even though he’d barely touched me. “I’m enjoying watching you with Drew,” he said, his voice raspy and deep, the way it sounded only when he was struggling to maintain control of his own need.

“You can still watch,” Drew encouraged him. “I want you to drive him insane while he’s sucking me. I love how forceful he gets when he’s trying to keep from coming.” Bryce laughed as he ran his hand up the length of my spine. He pushed my head down and it didn’t take a genius to realize what he expected. He wanted my lips wrapped around Drew’s cock and I was happy to oblige. I grunted at the feel of Bryce pushing one lubed finger into my entrance. The pressure wasn’t enough to

be painful, but it was the anticipation of what I knew was yet to come. He shoved deeper, curling his finger against my prostate as he pulled back. More cold lube slid down my crack as he held me there. He pushed in with a second finger, pressing against the back of my head, guiding me onto Drew’s cock as he opened me. “Fuck him,” Drew pleaded. “I want you to make him fuck me hard. Make him choke on me.” My dick twitched beneath me and I swore I could come just listening

to the two of them talk dirty while Bryce fucked my ass with his fingers. They somehow turned pillow talk into an Xrated art form. Whenever I tried, it sounded lame by comparison, which was why I was more than happy to have my mouth occupied doing other things. Bryce pulled out of me and Drew’s fingers threaded into my hair, holding my mouth around his dick so I couldn’t glance behind my body to watch Bryce prepare himself. “He’s going to fuck you good tonight,” Drew assured me. “I know he’s been wanting to ever

since the first time he took your ass.” I nodded, unable to speak around the mouthful of cock I was savoring. I sighed heavily when I felt the thick head of Bryce’s cock tap against my hole, torturing me. “Please,” I mumbled as I tried to focus on what I was doing to Drew. I cupped Drew’s balls, probably tight enough to hurt him, as Bryce shoved the first, most difficult inch inside of me. Pain seared through my body and I couldn’t take a deep enough breath to will myself to relax.

“That’s it,” Drew soothed me. “Open up for him. You know it’s going to feel fucking amazing when you let him in.” I let go of Drew’s cock for fear I’d bite down on him the way I did my lower lip as I struggled to get used to the feeling of being split in half by Bryce’s thick shaft. “Come on, babe. Let go. We’ve got you.” As soon as the tight ring of muscle eased, Bryce pushed in harder. It burned, then pain gave way to pleasure as he drizzled more lubed against my hole, pushing it deep into my body with

his cock. “Fuck, do that again,” I pleaded when he ground his hips into my ass. “You’d better make sure he comes,” Bryce warned me. “If you come before he does, next time I’ll fuck him while you sit there and watch.” Oddly, I wouldn’t be opposed to that punishment. I’d thought about watching the two of them enough times that I almost wanted to hold off Drew’s climax until after I’d come, but I’d never considered myself to be a selfish lover. I ran my tongue around Drew’s glans,

making him buck his hips off the bed. I pulled off and watched as my saliva slid across his taint toward his hole, sucking a finger deep into my mouth. If Bryce wanted me to make Drew come, I knew exactly the way to achieve that. Without any preamble, I shoved my finger deep inside Drew’s body as I swallowed his cock. I held both in place until the need to breathe overcame me and began as steady a rhythm as I was capable of while Bryce pounded into my ass. We worked together, Bryce shoving me forward, pulling me back,

directing everything that was happening. Had I been capable of thought by the time Drew shot his load down my throat, I would have offered up a silent prayer because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last. When he regained a bit of his composure, he slid lower beneath me, wrapping his hand around my shaft, jerking me off at the same pace as Bryce plowed so deep into my body I swore I could have blown him while he fucked me. “Come for us,” Drew pleaded. “Show us how good you feel right now.”

That was the only encouragement I needed. With a shout I’d later regret, I came all over Drew’s hand as my ass clenched around Bryce’s cock. That drove him over the edge and he pounded into me two more times before filling the condom. We fell into a heap on and around Drew, holding each other’s sweaty bodies as we struggled to come back down to earth. About the time I felt steady enough to get up and grab a washcloth, someone pounded on the door.

“When you freaks are done in there, there’s work to be done out here,” Jason yelled. By the way his voice faded slightly, I could tell he’d been passing by and wasn’t standing directly outside the door listening. I expected Drew to retreat into himself, embarrassed at being caught by two of our best friends, but instead he burst out laughing. Bryce and I soon joined him, because it was pretty fucking funny that we’d lost control that way. “I guess we’d better get out there,” I grumbled as I crawled over

Drew to retrieve my sweatpants. “Like I said, you two are bad influences.” “You didn’t seem to be complaining a little while ago,” Bryce pointed out. “True, but that doesn’t make my statement any less valid.” I leaned over and kissed both of them before disappearing out of the room.

Chapter 17 Jason shook his head and laughed when he saw me walking gingerly into the kitchen, where my sandwich was still sitting on the counter. I flipped him off and shoved a quarter of the sandwich into my mouth before I said anything stupid. After spending so many years freaking out about what my friends would think if they found out I was gay, it was refreshing to have this type of camaraderie with a former teammate.

Not for the first time, I wished I’d never been traded to Seattle. They were a great team, but I’d never felt as comfortable there as I did when I was around the Mavericks players. I knew at least part of that was because their manager and head office had taken a stand that no gay player would be treated any differently, and that the only thing that mattered was the stats they put up on the field. The other twenty-nine teams in the league had a long way to go to catch up to Milwaukee’s progressive stance. “Don’t you dare give them shit,

Jason,” Cam warned his boyfriend, brandishing a wooden spoon when he turned around. “You know damn well we’d have done the same thing if they were at our place and they’d stepped out like we did. Hell, we almost got busted by Mason and Sean on more than one occasion, trying to get in a quickie before they got to your place.” “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease the hell out of them,” Jason admitted. “It’s not what they were doing, it’s the fact that Eric’s fucking loud as hell. I’m beginning to wonder if the

neighbors have ever called in a complaint with the way he screams.” I slugged him in the shoulder before easing myself onto the seat next to him. “Funny man. For your information, there are exactly two men in the world who can make me that way and both of them are probably still in the bed while I’m out here with you.” “That sounds like a you problem,” Jason teased. Cam glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender. Cam might be slight, but it was evident that Jason wasn’t about to

piss him off. “So Cam, you do realize you’re not cooking for the entire team tomorrow, right?” I wasn’t trying to complain, but it looked like we had enough food for fifty people, not the seven who’d be here for lunch. “Yeah, I’d need a hell of a lot more food if I was.” Cam laughed. “Seriously, I’m beginning to think you guys earn your huge salaries because they’re worried you won’t be able to eat enough if you made what mere mortals make.”

“Good point, although I think you went soft when you were out in New York,” I teased. We’d grown closer in the almost two weeks since he’d come home. When they weren’t at their place fucking like rabbits, Jason and Cam were here so Cam could spend time with Drew. It irritated me that Drew didn’t seem to be upset by Cam’s hovering the way he was if any of us did it, but it was impossible to ignore the shift in his attitude since Cam returned. “You’re used to cooking itty bitty servings, just enough for those pretentious judges to

taste so they can tear you to shreds.” Cam wouldn’t let anyone else cook when he was around and acted as though a major crime had been committed if anyone suggested takeout, which meant we’d all been treated to Cam’s culinary skills nearly every evening. I was fairly certain there was nothing that guy couldn’t cook. “They weren’t that bad.” He obviously knew better than I did, but from what I’d seen, the judging panel on the first episode made it their mission to see if they could get the contestants to

crack under the pressure. “And think about it… They’re putting their names on the line every time they critique us. They’re all accomplished chefs with years of experience.” “Yeah, except for that one guy,” I pointed out. Even Cam had grumbled about how one of the chefs had no place judging a kiddie competition, much less one where the stakes were so high. “I’m wondering if he partied so hard that his taste buds died somewhere along the way. You made that exact dish for us, and unless you totally fucked it up on the

show, he’s crazy to say it was bland and had the texture of baby food.” “Yeah, well he must be doing something right,” Cam countered. “He’s got one of the top-rated shows on the network. Not many people in the world can say that.” “True, but what does he really do? He just visits restaurants around the country and shoots the shit with the owners and patrons,” Jason added, obviously in agreement with my opinion. “So, are you going to tell us how many weeks we have to watch him? Because

as much as I love you, I’m not sure I’ll make it through to the end without throwing something at the television.” “There are only ten episodes left.” Cam was getting better at deflecting the constant prodding for him to tell us how he did on the show. Jason perked up, assuming Cam was giving him some sort of clue that he’d made it to the finals. His shoulders slumped forward almost as soon as Cam started talking again. “Remember, I spent a month living with these people. Even if I’m not on the show, I’m going to want to

watch to see how they did.” Jason groaned. “Babe, you’ve got to give me more than that. Seriously, the only reason I’m watching is for you. Once you’re cut, you can keep watching and I’ll be able to fuck around on the computer without feeling guilty.” Cam shrugged and turned back to whatever he was working on on the stove. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see along with everyone else.” He glanced over his shoulder and blew Jason a kiss. Jason scowled, but no one would have believed that he

was genuinely upset. If anything, it seemed this had become some sort of ritual for them, and would likely end later tonight when everyone had gone to bed, with Jason trying to coax the information out in exchange for sexual favors. With sex back on my mind, I realized Bryce and Drew still hadn’t come out of the bedroom. I excused myself and ambled through the great room. I hadn’t made it halfway down the hall when my phone started ringing. Jason glanced at the screen and wished

me luck as he tossed the phone in my direction. It was Sam Carlson, my agent. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t necessarily bad news, but with every day the Sound head office waited to sign my new contract, the less certain I’d become of my future with the team. “Sam, tell me you have good news for me,” I answered, skipping over pleasantries. It was a holiday week, which made it odd that he was calling now. I couldn’t imagine most of the decision-makers were doing much

deciding when they could be off spending time with their families. Sam sighed heavily and my heart plummeted. I’d been with him since I was in college and I’d learned to read his non-verbal cues to figure out the meaning behind what he was saying. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t good at his job, but he had a tendency to try to soften the blow and make average deals seem better than they were. He had his few heavy-hitters who did a sufficient job lining his pockets, so the rest of us were just extra padding to him.

“I’m afraid I don’t, Eric.” At least he sounded upset for me. “They’ve opted out of signing a new contract. Now, don’t worry too much because I’m in talks with a few other teams to see if they’re interested in you now that you’re a free agent. There’s plenty of time before the start of next year. I’m sure something will come along.” That was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one who’d just gotten the ax. As much as I didn’t want to get sent down, it seemed like even more of a blow that they were cutting me outright

from the team. There was no security, no forty-man roster to assure me I could work my way back to Iberia Field. I was cut loose with no guarantee anyone would want me. When I was younger, I had plenty of confidence in my abilities. I put up solid numbers even though I was never going to be a record breaker. My coaches and managers called on me for my ability to go out there and play a smart game every day, knowing that I wouldn’t let them down. Now, I was creeping up on forty, which felt ancient

with all of the kids in their early twenties being called up every week. Granted, I still had a few years to go before hitting that particular milestone, but when sitting next to guys who were barely into their twenties, that didn’t matter. I was fucking old. I wasn’t as confident as Sam that another team would want me. Last year hadn’t been my best, but I’d also had a lot on my mind. Seattle had never felt like home to me. It was the place I’d been shipped off to play whether I liked it or not. And then my grandpa died and I

was left to deal with that. And yeah, the drama with Mason and Sean being outed took an emotional toll on me as well. I wanted to be there for them, to help make sure they weren’t going to fall apart when faced with the assholes coming at them with disgusting slurs. I shouldn’t have let any of that affect my play, but I know it all had. And honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d take a deal if it was offered to me unless I was guaranteed I wouldn’t be back in the minors. Having to go down and wait for the skipper to call me into his office

at my age would be humiliating. Not only that, but where the young players looked at it as a way to groom themselves into the players of the future, for guys like me, it was no different than being sent out to pasture. “Thanks for letting me know, Sam,” I responded. I didn’t let him know about any of the reservations I felt at the time because I didn’t want him to think I was giving up. I wasn’t a quitter, it was more that I was starting to realize that baseball couldn’t last forever and it might be time to get ready to hang it up.

“I’m sorry I dropped this on you right before the holiday,” Sam apologized. “But you needed to know as soon as I did.” “I understand. Happy Thanksgiving.” When I hung up the phone, I realized all eyes were on me. Even Cam had stopped cooking, waiting to see what was going on. I choked on the words, not ready to voice to those closest to me what I already knew. “I’m a free agent. Seattle decided they didn’t want to sign the new contract.” Drew was by my side

immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Hey, something else will come along. Maybe even something where you won’t be all the way on the other side of the country.” “Yeah, maybe.” I wished I still had the optimism he held toward the game. He was just entering his prime and had yet to realize just how shitty it was to realize that the glory days don’t last. I slid out of his grasp and told everyone I’d be back. I needed a few minutes to clear my head and wasn’t in the mood for anyone to try and cheer me

up. I probably shouldn’t have been driving, but my car was the only place I could think of where no one would try interrupting my moping. I drove for over an hour before parking my car in front of Sean’s house. I wasn’t even sure if they were still home, but I needed to talk to him. The house was dark except for one light shining from somewhere in the back. I stood in front of the door and debated whether or not to ring the bell. I jumped when the front porch light turned

on, blinding me since my eyes had adjusted to the pitch black night. “Halloween was a few weeks ago, kid. You’ll have to come back next year,” Mason teased. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. As much as I liked the guy, I wasn’t in the mood for his comic relief. Then again, he was the one person in our circle of friends who might understand the bullshit swirling through my mind. Maybe it wasn’t Sean I drove over here to see at all. “Hey, you okay?” Mason gave my shoulder a

reassuring squeeze. I had no clue how he wasn’t freezing his ass off. It couldn’t be more than forty degrees and the forecasters were calling for snow tonight, and yet it didn’t seem to bother him that he was only wearing his old Bulldogs T-shirt. “Had better days,” I admitted. “Would it be rude to invite myself in? It’s fucking cold out here.” “Yeah, sure. Just keep your voice down until we get to the basement. Asher’s teething again and he’s not a fan. It took Sean over an hour to get him

calmed down enough to go to sleep.” I kicked out of my shoes and placed them next to the door. No shoes beyond the foyer was one of Sean’s rules since Asher started crawling. It was adorable to see him turn into the freaky first time parent when it came to anything related to their son. Mason grabbed a couple of beers and motioned for me to follow him. He pulled out his phone, explaining that he was texting Sean to let him know we were down here as he typed. “So, what’s got you looking like

someone kicked your puppy?” Mason asked once his phone was back in his pocket. “Sam called me today,” I told him. I didn’t need to explain who Sam was. His name was well known in the league. “And?” “And basically told me I’m too old for Seattle. They passed on a new contract which means we’re going into December and I have no fucking clue what’s going on next year.” Now that the shock had started to wear off, I was

angry. Yeah, my numbers weren’t the best, but I’d worked my ass off for that team. The least they could have done was give me the courtesy of some sort of hint they weren’t certain I’d be back next year. But that wasn’t how the business side of the game worked. Hell, some guys didn’t even have the security of being with the same team from the time they showed up at the park in the morning until they got in their cars to go home. “They said that?” Mason took a long draw of his beer before standing

and reaching into the high cupboards behind the bar for a bottle of Jack. I couldn’t get plowed since my guys were waiting for me at home, but one to settle my nerves didn’t seem like such a bad idea. “No, you know they never make that much sense,” I scoffed before tossing back the piss warm liquid. I hated the yeasty taste of Jack, but I wasn’t picky at that point. I just wanted something to take the edge off. “He just said they didn’t sign the contract but that he’s looking for other deals for me.”

“Well that’s promising,” Mason responded. The door at the top of the steps opened and Sean came down with three more beers. I begged off, not wanting to push my limits. Knowing the way today had gone so far, it’d be my luck for me to think I was fine and wind up getting a DUI. Mason quickly brought Sean up to speed on my news. I was grateful for that, because every time I had to admit that I was a player without a team, I grew more upset. At this rate, I was going to be unfit for company by the time

Drew’s parents showed up in the morning. “So you find another team,” Sean said, as if it should be that easy. I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “Seriously, you’ve still got some ball left in you. I’m sure someone will pick you up before the month is out.” “Yeah, but what if I don’t want some team?” I asked. When I woke up this morning, I’d thought that life was pretty damn good for the first time in a long time. It’d be nice to figure out a way to have that feeling every day, and

that may not be possible while I was still playing. “Then you sit down like Mace did and figure out what’s next for you,” Sean offered. “I thought he was crazy when he announced he was quitting, but it turned out to be the best thing for him.” Mason nodded in agreement. Now that I thought about it, I couldn’t remember him ever saying he regretted walking away when he had. Granted, his situation was a bit different than my own. He’d just been outed which had been a determining factor, but he’d also

lost his drive for the game over a year before he walked away. I still loved playing. My thoughts of retiring weren’t because I didn’t enjoy the game, but because I wanted to go out on my own terms and I felt that opportunity slipping away from me. “Yeah, but what am I going to do after that? This is all I’ve done in my life.” I couldn’t sit around the house or waste my days on the golf course. Whatever happened, I needed to know there was still a purpose in my life. You know what you need to do, I

thought to myself as Mason and Sean tried to reassure me that I’d figure it all out. And they were right. I’d already been thinking about leaving, even if I hadn’t really thought it’d happen this soon. I’d found myself envious of what Drew and Bryce were doing down at the center and had wished it’d be possible for me to do something like that. Maybe it was. I started glancing at my watch, trying to figure out how quickly I could get out of there and back home. I didn’t want to seem rude, as though I’d only

stopped by because I had a problem, but that was somewhat true. Besides, Mason and Sean probably wanted to get to bed since they had a long drive to Indiana in the morning with a teething one-yearold. Sean noticed my inattention and took it upon himself to start stretching and yawning, the universal symbol for “You’re a great guy, but get the fuck out of my house.” I stood and gave Mason a one-armed hug before walking to the door with Sean. “Hey, thanks for listening to me

bitch,” I said as I reached for the front door. “I probably should have talked to Drew and Bryce, but you know how it is with the younger guys. They’re all convinced that baseball is all there is to life and that it’ll go on forever.” Sean chuckled. “God, when did we get to be the old men of the league?” he asked, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, it’s all going to work out however it’s supposed to. Like I said before, Mason has never been happier than he’s been since retiring. And I mean never. It’s like he’d always carried

around the stress of trying to make everyone proud of his accomplishments, even when that wasn’t what he really needed in his life.” “Yeah, but he also had Asher to keep his mind off what he was missing when spring training started,” I pointed out. God, I had no clue how I was going to get through February and March, sitting at home in Wisconsin while my buddies were in the sunny South playing. “So get a dog or something,” Sean suggested with a laugh. “Really, they aren’t that much different than kids.

You have to feed them, love on them, and clean up when they shit all over the place.” I rolled my eyes because Sean was being ridiculous. I’d like to see anyone tell him they knew what it was like to be a parent because they had an animal. Other than the occasional middle of the night potty break, dogs didn’t require all that much. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.” Sean walked me out to my car. He leaned against the roof on the passenger’s side as I unlocked the doors.

“Hey, I mean it. This really isn’t the end.” “I know,” I assured him. “You guys have a good trip. Give me a call when you get back to town.” As I drove away, I repeated Sean’s words to myself. This wasn’t the end. There was something else out there for me, but it was up to me to figure out what that was.

Chapter 18 “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.” Bryce grabbed my arm to keep me from pacing around the room. I’d been telling myself the same thing for the past hour, but now that I knew Eric had left without his phone, I was worried. He’d just gotten shitty news and took off. We were supposed to be having a relaxing night at home with Cam and Jason, but instead, everyone was trying to avoid talking about what’d just happened.

Cam knew better than to try to tell me it’d all be okay. I’d always hated when people said that shit, because there was no way to guarantee it would be. And I wasn’t only thinking about tonight and Eric being on the road while he was upset. I worried about the future, both his and ours. I hated myself for thinking this could be a good thing because it meant he wasn’t going to live on the west coast during the season. It meant I would be the only one with a fucked up schedule eight months out of the year. Jason stepped outside, and I

watched as he made some phone calls. “I just talked to Sean,” he announced when he came back into the house. “Apparently he’s over there.” “There, now you know he’s not out doing something stupid,” Bryce said, leading me to the couch. “I don’t understand why he’d storm out the way he did,” I admitted. I’d foolishly thought that now that the three of us were trying to turn this into a serious relationship, he would’ve turned to one of us instead of leaving. Not only that, but he went to his former lover’s

house. Bryce laughed as he sat down next to me. “You, of all people, have no right to judge someone for not wanting to talk about what’s bothering him. I wish he wouldn’t have left just as much as you do, but I’m sure he had his reasons.” “Still sucks.” I was sulking, and I knew it. It seemed to be something I’d gotten pretty good at in the past month. “True, but it’s not going to change anything for you to get pissed off about it,” Bryce reminded me. What I’d originally thought was an inability to get

upset about anything turned out to be a staunch refusal to let anyone make him lose his cool. I admired that, even when it did frustrate the shit out of me. “Now, why don’t you go in there and help Cam get everything put away and then we’ll go to bed.” “Don’t need the help,” Cam called out from the kitchen. Bryce glared at him, making me realize it was more so I’d have something to do than because he thought Cam couldn’t take care of it on his own. “Take him to bed. His mood’s not going to improve at all until Eric gets

home. He’s just going to be the moody asshole we all know and love.” “Am not,” I protested. “Don’t try that shit with me,” Cam warned. Jason and Bryce both chuckled. “Every time shit doesn’t go your way, you get all pissy. Right now, it’s because you’re feeling like Eric doesn’t trust you enough to open up to you, even though that’s a crock of shit. If I had to guess, he’s trying to keep from worrying you with his problems. He knows you’re going to try to tell him it’ll all be okay, and that’s not what he needs

right now.” Bryce pulled me to his side when I tried to storm out of the room. Cam was too close to the truth for comfort. “He’s right. Just like you needed time to be pissed off and angry after the attack, Eric needs time now to work out whatever emotions he’s feeling.” “There’s no reason for him to be pissed,” I argued. “Shit like this happens all the time. Someone else will pick him up. I know they will.” Jason joined us in the living room and sat down in Eric’s chair. Well,

what I used to think of as Eric’s super comfy, ratty and out of place recliner when he’d first come home at the end of the season. “Drew, the reality is they might not,” he told me. “It’s different for him than it is for you. If you got let go tomorrow, it’d sting, but you’re still young and some other team would scoop you up. He’s nearing the end of his career and teams would rather save their salary money for the stars of tomorrow, rather than someone who might make it another two or three years before his body starts screaming at him to quit.”

“Okay, but if it’s such a given, why’s he upset?” I asked. I was beginning to feel like the naïve kid I assumed they all saw me as. While I really hadn’t thought about what it’d be like to be in my mid-thirties and facing no one wanting me anymore, it seemed like an inevitability when Jason laid it all out. Eric wasn’t the first guy to face this and he wouldn’t be the last. “Because it sucks to admit you’re getting old,” Bryce responded. “Add to that the fact that I’m sure it took him by surprise, and you have an instant

bad mood. Things have been going well here, and he probably hadn’t given himself much time to fret over what was happening with his contract.” “God, you guys all fucking suck when you make sense,” I grumbled. “Now, I’m going to take Cam’s advice and go try to get some sleep. My parents are leaving early in the morning so they’ll be here well before lunch time.” I leaned down to kiss Bryce goodnight. “Don’t stay up too long,” I requested. We still hadn’t discussed whether or not it was acceptable for two

of us to fuck around when the third wasn’t there, but I needed him. If there was any hope of me getting to sleep, I needed to feel his chest under my head as I curled my body around his. “I won’t,” he assured me. I waved goodnight to Cam and Jason, telling Cam to get whatever he needed for them to be comfortable. They were sleeping in what was technically my room. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about changing the sheets in the loft in the morning. I didn’t bother turning on the

lights as I shuffled into the bedroom leaving a trail of dirty clothes in my wake. That’d be sure to piss off Eric since he was a bit of a neat freak, but I didn’t care. He’d pissed me off, too. The bed was cold. I pulled the covers up to my neck, trying to get warm, but nothing seemed to help. I considered putting on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, but I couldn’t do that because I had to believe Eric would eventually come back. With three grown men in the bed, there was barely a need for a thin blanket, much less clothes, to

keep warm at night. It was usually a fight to see who’d get stuck tangled in the sheets because everyone was roasting. Ignoring the light streaming in from the hall when the bedroom door opened, I flopped onto my stomach and punched down the center of the pillow. “What’d the pillow do to you?” Bryce asked as he walked into the room. “Don’t mind me,” I said dismissively. “I’ve got a lot on my mind. Eric taking off the way he did was just the icing on the cake.” Bryce sat down on the edge of

the bed and toed off his shoes. I rolled onto my side and watched as he pulled his light blue Polo shirt over the back of his head and threw it into the hamper. I loved that particular shirt because it was the slightest bit too tight since he’d started working out with us in the basement every evening. He had a body that’d make just about anyone drool. I slid to the middle of the bed, making sure there was plenty of room for him to crawl in next to me. He pulled me against his chest once he was under the covers and kissed

the back of my head. “What’s going on up there?” “A little bit of everything,” I admitted to him. I wasn’t in the mood to talk because I didn’t want him thinking I had doubts about us. The truth was, I was freaking the fuck out on the inside because I knew it’d be impossible to keep my mom from realizing what was going on once she saw all three of us in the same room. I knew she’d be happy Bryce and I were still together because she fucking adored him, but I was nervous about what she’d think when I

told her Eric was in the mix as well. “Then talk to me about it,” Bryce encouraged. “You’re upset with Eric for walking out instead of talking, but isn’t what you’re doing the same thing?” “No,” I scoffed. “It’s completely different, because at least I’m still here.” “But you’re not,” Bryce countered. “You’re here physically, but you’re lost in your own head. Rather than talk to me so I can help you find solutions, you’re content to sit and stew. That’s not fair to anyone, because the longer you do that, the more of a prick

you become.” “If I’m such an asshole, you can head out the same door Eric did.” If Bryce was trying to make me feel better, he was doing a shitty job of it. I didn’t need him guilting me. Bryce’s fingers dug into my shoulders, almost painfully, as he rolled me over so I was facing him. “Eventually, you’re going to learn those games won’t work with me,” he warned me. “I let you push me away before, I’m not going to do it again. Not now that I see it’s something you do when you think

people should turn their backs on you. Haven’t you learned by now that I’m more stubborn than you could ever dream of being?” I huffed out a weak laugh. Bryce was one of the most bullheaded people I’d ever met, but he didn’t come across that way because he chose to stand his ground in more subtle ways. “Like I said, it’s a little bit of everything,” I repeated, hoping he’d drop it for now so we could both get some sleep. “Okay, so pick one thing and

we’ll start there.” He ran his hand up and down the length of my arm, grounding me, reminding me that I didn’t have to go through life alone. For whatever reason, Bryce wanted to be here to help me work through my issues. “I’m worried about tomorrow,” I admitted to him. “We’ve been living in our little bubble here, where it’s just us and the people we can trust to not judge us. Tomorrow, my mom and dad will be here and I don’t want to have to hide from them.” “So don’t,” Bryce responded.

“From what I’ve seen, your parents truly grasp the concept of unconditional love. They don’t judge you for who you are or who you’re with; they love you because you’re their son. Nothing beyond that matters as long as you’re happy and healthy.” “Yeah, but how long will that last? I feel like I keep testing them, trying to find that invisible line where they’ll decide it’s too much.” “They won’t,” he stated firmly. He had only met them once, yet he was more certain of my parents’ love for me

than I was. “It might take a while for them to see just how good we all are for each other, but they will in time.” “Yeah, but they’ve already ignored what our pastor tells them about relationships being a man and a woman, what are they going to say when they realize that I’m with two men?” Realistically, I’d known since the night we got together that this was one of the biggest hurdles I’d need to face when it came to being with them. None of us were the one-night stand type, so I think we’d all realized before we admitted it

that we wanted more. But more meant eventually facing our families and later the rest of the world. “When they see how well you’re doing, they’ll come around,” Bryce promised me. “Now, do you feel better?” I shrugged and Bryce tightened his arms around my body. He did that sometimes, hugging me tightly when I felt adrift. It was just another way he steadied me, and I always wondered how he knew when I needed that firm embrace.

“What’s next?” he questioned. I buried my face into his chest, running my fingers through the dark, coarse hair that thinned out across his stomach. The truth was, I’d done exactly what Bryce warned me not to do when I started volunteering at Pot of Gold. He’d told me that it was going to be difficult to keep from becoming attached to the kids I met there, but I’d blown him off, telling him that wouldn’t happen. It had, in a big way. “I can’t fucking stand the fact that Cody is going to be stuck at the center

tomorrow,” I admitted to him. “I hate the fact that none of those kids have anywhere else to go, because it’s a fucking holiday and holidays are supposed to be family time.” Bryce took a few deep breaths and I steeled myself for the lecture I felt coming. He’d told me it was best to not get attached because a lot of the kids were there for a very short time. They’d wind up either running away when they started to get too comfortable or they’d reconcile with their parents and go home until the next time. But Cody was

different. He’d been at the center since the beginning of summer, when one of the street advocates found him curled up under the bleachers at a local park. His parents had made no effort to welcome him back home and he seemed to be as stable and happy as could be expected for someone living in a homeless shelter. “I was beginning to wonder when you’d admit how much you care about him,” Bryce said. He actually sounded relieved I’d said the words out loud. “Anyone who sees you working with him knows you two have formed a

bond. Honestly, I think some of the other kids wish they could find someone they could talk to the way Cody can to you.” “So you’re not pissed?” I asked. “Haven’t you learned yet? That’s not my style, especially when I half expected it.” “You did?” If he saw this coming, then why did he warn me against it? Why did he even ask me to mentor Cody if he knew I’d get attached? “Yeah, I did. I gave you the same speech we give all the mentors, but I had a feeling it’d be impossible for you to

not get close to Cody.” Bryce released me while I struggled to get comfortable. I was still trying to get used to not having the cast on my arm and it hurt when I laid on the still healing bones. “You both need one another. He needs you to show him a glimpse of that unconditional love I was talking about, and you need him to serve as a constant reminder that even though something shitty happened to you, it doesn’t define you.” Fucking Bryce and his life lessons. It made sense. I’d been sitting

here moping around the house, terrified to walk out the door until a couple of weeks ago. On the flip side, Cody had gotten the shit knocked out of him by his father and still got out of bed every day with a smile on his face. That may not have been the case in the early days, but now, he was grateful for everything he had, even if that wasn’t much. He was busting his ass to catch up in school because he was determined to prove everyone wrong about him. He wanted to show the world that he could be who he was without having to sacrifice a

damn thing. Cody was still a kid, but I had the feeling there were a lot of grown men who could learn a lot from him. He didn’t let anyone give him a hard time when he walked into his new school wearing clothes which didn’t fit his tall, athletic frame properly. He didn’t listen when other kids his age gave him shit for not being interested in girls or going to parties. The only thing he worried about was that someone would eventually realize that he was homeless, but even that didn’t stop him from living his life.

“We seem to have gotten off track a bit,” Bryce said. “You were talking about the holidays.” Oh yeah, that. I wondered if Bryce would think my idea was stupid. I also had to make sure it’d be okay with Eric, because even though I’d been here over a year and a half as his roommate, it was still his house. “Well, there are two things, really,” I began. I sat up and reached over Bryce’s body to turn on the lamp sitting on the nightstand. While it was easier to talk about difficult topics in the

dark, I needed to see his reaction. “First, I don’t want Cody at the shelter tomorrow. I fucking hate the idea that we’re all going to be sitting here gorging and having fun while he’s sitting there eating processed crap and staring at the walls.” Bryce smiled. No, he fucking beamed as I grew more upset about the idea of Cody sitting there alone. “I’d have to make a call to make sure it’s okay, but would you like me to run downtown tomorrow and bring him back here?”

“Would you do that?” That’s exactly what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure it’d be possible. These kids were all stuck in some sort of limbo and I wasn’t sure it was legal for an employee to bring them home, even if it was a holiday. “I mean, we need to make sure it’s okay with Eric, but yeah, I’d like that.” “Consider it done.” Bryce picked up his phone off the nightstand and checked the time. “It’s only ten on the west coast, so Mr. Borgwardt might still be awake.”

I watched as Bryce tapped out a quick message to his boss and then set his phone on the nightstand. He scooted up so he was sitting against the padded headboard and held out his arm so I could curl up next to him. “Now, what else?” I was beginning to feel more confident. Bryce hadn’t told me I was being unrealistic when I’d told him about my wish for tomorrow. Maybe he’d love this idea. “I want to get some of the guys together to sponsor Christmas for the kids. Instead of everyone doing

their own thing for the holidays, I want whoever we can get to agree to it to go down to the center and make sure it’s a day they’ll never forget. We could ask Cam if he’d be willing to take care of making a huge Christmas dinner, each of us could pick out a few kids to buy gifts for, and then maybe we could load up in the cars and take them all to a movie in the afternoon.” “You’ve been thinking about this for a while now, haven’t you?” Bryce asked. I nodded in response. It was something I’d considered in passing

back when Bryce and I had first met, but that had only been in an abstract sense. This week, I’d started to obsess over it more because everyone in my personal life was getting ready to spend time with their families and then I’d walk into the center and see kids who’d give anything to have one person to love them, much less an entire support system. “I think that’d be wonderful. Again, I’ll have to check on the logistics, but I’ll try to get an answer on that by the end of the weekend so we can start planning everything.”

“Thanks.” I felt lighter as I laid back down in the bed and allowed Bryce to curl himself around my body. With all the worries gone, I began to realize just how tired I was. I was still worried about Eric, but I had to believe that everyone was right when they said he was fine. As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered how soon was too soon to admit I felt like part of me was missing when either of them were gone.

Chapter 19 “You got home late last night,” Drew accused over his morning coffee. He’d been stiff and kept his back turned to me all night, a sure sign he was upset by my disappearance. By the time I’d pulled into the driveway, the house had been dark and Cam had the kitchen looking as though no one had been in there. I hadn’t thought that’d be possible. And now, Cam was already hard at work while Drew sat on the other side of the

island chatting with him. “Yeah, sorry about that,” I apologized. In my haste to get away from my boyfriend who was still young enough to only see the sparkle of the major leagues as well as the consummately realistic one, I’d left my phone sitting on the couch where I’d thrown it after hanging up with Sam. There was one missed call from Drew and it was sitting on the edge of the counter when I’d walked in. “I went for a drive and stopped by to see Mason.” “Yeah?” Drew seemed confused

about the fact that I’d said Mason, not Sean. “How’d that go?” I poured myself a cup of coffee and quickly got my ass out of the kitchen, which I’d been informed long ago was actually Cam’s kitchen whenever he was in it. As long as he kept whipping up food like he did, I’d gladly let him claim what was once mine. “Not bad, actually.” I took a seat next to Drew and placed one hand high on his thigh. “It might seem strange, but I really hadn’t planned on going to see him. When I got to their house, though, it

seemed right that I should talk to him.” “Why’s that?” Cam questioned, injecting himself into our conversation. I wished we didn’t have company and that we weren’t about to have even more. This wasn’t a public conversation, but it seemed there were no boundaries. As if they knew something important was about to be said, Jason came down the stairs just as Bryce stumbled out of the bedroom. He looked about as rough as I felt. I hadn’t slept much because it’d been impossible to turn off my mind.

“I’ve made a decision,” I said once everyone had coffee in hand and Bryce had inserted himself between Drew and me. I wrapped my arm around his waist, moving my other hand to Drew’s leg. I needed to be touching both of them, to have the reminder that even if I didn’t have the game, I had them. And Bryce was the one who planted the seeds of this evolving from three guys fucking to three guys in a committed relationship. That meant they had a right to know what was going on. I wasn’t about to fuck up the way Mason had and

keep this to myself. Bryce kissed the top of my head and leaned toward me. He was our rock. He’d become the one both of us turned to when we were upset, the one who pointed us the direction we needed to go when we felt lost. I needed that now. “Unless someone offers me a deal I can’t refuse, I think it’s time for me to retire,” I told them. Jason nearly choked on his coffee as Drew argued that I was too young for that. “I’m almost ten years older than the average player. It’s not like I didn’t know this would

happen eventually.” “But you’re not that old,” Drew protested. I gave his thigh a squeeze, loving him for trying to make me feel better. “Yeah, I am. And Mason made me realize that it’s okay to grow up.” Everyone had a good laugh at that. Mason was the last one any of us would accuse of being the mature adult of the group. Somehow, being a stay-at-home dad seemed to have turned back the hands of time and he was even more juvenile than he’d been when he was

playing. Of course, he was the epitome of a responsible parent, but his pressure valve tended to be his awful jokes and tendency to come up with elaborate pranks. “So what are you going to do?” Jason asked. Cam pulled a breakfast casserole out of the oven and the rest of us were digging into it before it had a chance to cool. He’d warned us ahead of time that this was the only breakfast we were getting because he didn’t want us in his space today and no one had argued. Again, we weren’t stupid enough

to turn down gourmet food on a daily basis. I looked over to Bryce and decided I needed to sit down and talk with him before announcing my thoughts to the rest of the room. For all I knew, he might laugh in my face when I suggested helping him. Or, he could tell me that finding someone else to run the Milwaukee facility would mean he had to head back to Portland, which kind of blew apart the entire idea of the three of us figuring out if there was something between us that could last long-term.

“I’ll figure it out,” I promised them. “I’m not sure anyone will want to hire me based on my degree since it’s been fourteen years since I did anything other than play ball, but there’s something out there for me.” “You know it,” Bryce agreed with another kiss. “I’m proud of you. I half expected you to be hungover and puking this morning. You seem to be taking the news fairly well.” “Yeah, I guess I am.” Bryce checked the time and then reached for his keys. “I’ll be back

shortly.” “Where are you racing off to this early?” I asked. Okay, so it was already almost ten in the morning, but still, it was a holiday. There couldn’t possibly be anything he needed to do at the office, and I couldn’t think of anyplace else he’d need to go today. “He’s going to pick up Cody, so he’s not stuck at the center today,” Drew informed me. “Oh, he is, huh?” It wasn’t the least bit shocking to hear that Drew had somehow managed to con Bryce into

springing his new best buddy out of Pot of Gold for the day. That was fine with me since I knew Drew would be miserable if he had to sit here and stew about Cody being alone on a holiday. Where I’d begrudgingly gotten used to the solitude, he still wanted the house to be filled with love and laughter and thought everyone should have the same. “Yeah, is that okay with you?” Drew asked. His cheeks flushed a light pink. I hated that he still thought of this as my place and considered himself little more than a boarder. I’d told him

repeatedly that he was free to do whatever he wished as long as none of my shit went missing. “Yeah, that’s fine,” I assured both of them. Bryce quickly kissed each of us goodbye and headed out to the driveway, bitching about how cold it was. If he didn’t get back before the snow started coming down harder, the cold would be the least of his concerns. “You’re really okay with it?” Drew asked a while later. I placed my hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at me

while I spoke. Maybe that was what he needed for it to finally get through his head that I really didn’t care. “This is your house as well. You’re paying your share of the bills which means you have an equal say in who’s invited over.” “But I don’t pay an equal share,” he protested. “No, but I still consider you my equal,” I told him. “I don’t care about your money, Drew. I just want you to feel like this is your home because it is.” “Okay.” He flipped off Cam as he walked down the hall mumbling

something about needing a shower. I was tempted to follow, but I knew it’d be impossible to resist dropping to my knees to blow him as soon as I saw his naked body. Everything went smoothly, even after Drew’s parents arrived. His mother kept trying to help Cam in the kitchen, and for the first time ever, Cam didn’t push someone out of his space. Instead, he seemed to blossom even more, soaking in every compliment Susan gave him.

We all sat down to the formal dining table, which Cam had set as though it were a showcase for a holiday TV special, and made one hell of an effort to polish off all the food he’d made. We failed, but it’d be no hardship to enjoy the leftovers for a few days. Drew and I tried to take care of the cleanup, but his mom refused any and all help. She told us in no uncertain terms that we were to relax and she’d pack up all the food and start the dishwasher. That was when everything started to fall apart.

I ran down to the basement to get soda and beer to put in the refrigerator upstairs and Drew’s dad followed me. He motioned for me to set down the sixpacks I was carrying. “So, is it true that you’re not going to be with Seattle come spring?” I bristled at the accusatory tone in his voice. I didn’t know this guy, didn’t have to explain a damn thing to him. I wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but I didn’t. Pa would roll over in his grave if I was disrespectful, and he’d likely be standing here asking

me the same thing if he were still alive. “Yes, sir,” I responded. As long as I kept my answers short and sweet, I couldn’t piss him off. Drew loved his dad, so it would be dumb of me to do anything that’d make him dislike me. There’d be plenty of that when we dropped the bomb on them about all three of us sharing one bed. “That’s too bad.” He looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows on the side of the basement where you could walk directly out into the backyard. Heavy snow had begun to fall while we were

eating. I didn’t want to think about Drew’s parents driving home. Even if they left now, it’d be slick and dangerous. He grunted and snarled at the sight through the windows before looking back to me. “You know where you’re going?” “No, sir.” I didn’t tell him I wasn’t going anywhere because there were other people who needed to be informed first. And even if Drew trusted his parents, I didn’t know them well. There was nothing to keep his father from accidentally mentioning something

to the wrong person. “Well, I’ll tell you the same thing I told my boy,” he offered, taking a seat next to me. “If you ever need an ear to bend, I’m here. I know I don’t know squat about how you guys operate, but I’d like to think I’m all right at knowing a shit deal when I hear one.” I choked up a bit as he spoke. I don’t know why, but I’d expected something else from him. Maybe for him to tell me I needed to take whatever offer came in front of me. Having someone sitting next to me, offering to

listen if I needed to talk brought on a fresh wave of longing. This was my second holiday season without Pa, and I still missed the hell out of him. I wanted him to be here. I wanted him to be the one helping me figure out whether I was wrong for considering walking away. Joe grabbed two of the six-packs and followed me up the stairs. He placed his on the counter and then took the ones I’d been holding. I followed his line of sight and noticed him watching Drew and Cody, who were off in the corner working on homework. Bryce had

tried to tell Cody to leave his backpack at the center, but he’d refused, saying he’d never get where he needed to be if he slacked off. “What’s the story with the kid?” Joe asked, nodding in their direction. “He’s one of the teens from the shelter,” I responded. “From what Drew and Bryce have told me, his parents kicked him out when they found out he’s gay. He’d been living on the streets for months and had dropped out of school because he was afraid the administrators would force him to go home. Knowing

how his dad reacted the first time, he was worried he’d just keep getting his ass kicked, so he stayed away. Now, he’s living at the center and trying to get caught up.” “Good for him,” Drew’s dad praised, loud enough that he caught their attention. Cody’s face flushed pink when he realized we were talking about him and Drew beamed with pride. “Looks like they’re good for one another.” “They are,” I agreed. “Drew likes to tell the guys that Bryce and I forced him to start living again, but I

think it was Cody who did that. We were just the ones who forced him out of the house.” That got me a curious look from Joe. He then glanced at Bryce before staring me down. I felt myself shrink back at his suddenly harsh assessment. “You and Bryce, huh?” Fuck. That explained a lot. After promising Drew that it’d be okay and no one would be any wiser as long as we weren’t pawing at one another, it seemed I’d managed to accidentally out our group.

“Well…um…yes, sir. Bryce has understandably been spending a lot of time here, and the two of us got sick of watching Drew mope around the house,” I said, hoping it was a plausible excuse. “Kid, I might be from the country, but I’m not as dumb as you might think,” he warned me. “I’m not sure what you boys are doing here, but I s’pose that’s not my place, now is it?” “Sir?” I questioned, still playing dumb. I half expected Drew’s dad to reach around and cuff the back of my head.

“Whatever you need to do to make my boy as happy as he seems today, keep doing it. Like I said, I don’t get it, but I don’t really need to,” he assured me. I let out the breath I’d been holding as I waited for the top of his head to explode. Bryce had been the one pushing Drew to be honest with his parents, saying that they’d understand and support him but even I hadn’t believed that. “I don’t see you three having an easy go of whatever you have, but I know you boys well enough after just a couple meetings that I’m confident

you’ll do right by one another.” Drew looked over to where his dad and I were talking. He quirked an eyebrow, and I nodded to assure him everything was fine. No thanks to me. “Now, tell me more about the kid,” he said, quickly changing the topic. I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I wasn’t terribly thrilled with the idea of having to explain my sex life to anyone, much less Joe. “Drew, can you tell him I’m not a kid,” Cody whined, sounding very much like a child. “I turned eighteen almost a

month ago.” “Oooh, you’re a big man now,” Jason teased as he walked past where Cody still had his schoolwork strewn across the table. “Don’t worry, we still call Drew ‘kid’ sometimes, just to fuck with him.” “Jason, language please,” Cam scolded, turning quickly to apologize to Susan. “It’s okay,” she told him. “I’m used to the way the farmhands talk when they walk in for lunch and don’t realize I’m standing there.”

I watched as everyone else went back to their conversations. Bryce and Cam were talking about some plan that Drew had mentioned to Bryce last night while I was out. I felt out of the loop, but wasn’t upset about it since it was my own doing. Once Cody finished his homework, Drew quickly joined Bryce on the couch, curling into his side the way he always did. I considered joining them, but didn’t since he didn’t know that at least one of his parents had seen through our little charade. The rest of the evening went

smoothly. I said goodnight to Drew’s parents as they excused themselves to the loft. Everyone took that as a sign that the day was coming to an end since we needed it to be quiet. Jason and Cam packed up Jason’s truck and they headed out, quickly followed by Bryce and Drew, who needed to take Cody back to the center. “Thanks for inviting me today,” Cody said. He shook my hand and looked me in the eye as he continued. “You might not think it was a big deal to invite one extra person to dinner, but I’ll

never forget it.” I swear, there wasn’t a trace of emotion as he sincerely and repeatedly thanked me. I didn’t have to swallow hard to keep from tearing up just a little. “You’re welcome to come out anytime,” I assured him, which earned me a wide smile from both Bryce and Drew. “Make sure you give Drew your basketball schedule and we’ll see if we can’t make a couple of the games.” “Really?” I waited for Cody to jump around like a kid in a candy store, but he was good at keeping his

enthusiasm in check. “That’d be fucking awesome! Wait till I tell the guys at school that two of the Mavericks players want to come and watch me play ball.” I cringed, knowing how poorly that could turn out. Either his classmates would call him a liar, or they’d believe him and it’d turn into a circus. “Maybe it’d be best if you don’t tell everyone. We’ll see how the schedule works out and go from there, okay?” Cody’s shoulders slumped forward. I hoped Bryce would be able to explain why I didn’t want our presence

to be common knowledge because I hated seeing the kid let down. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I’ll see ya ‘round, Eric.” “You know it.” I gave him a quick hug and walked them to the door, telling Bryce to drive safely since the snow was still falling hard.

Chapter 20 By the middle of December, Eric was driving me crazy. It didn’t help that there’d been more snow than I could ever remember getting this early in the year. That meant he and I were stuck at home more often than we’d care for, and Bryce had been spending more time at his shitty little apartment than anyone wanted him to. Personally, I’d have been happy if he’d told his boss to give up the lease and he moved in with us. Not

officially, of course, but he could have the spare room if he needed his own space and it’d save the center money they couldn’t afford to be spending. “Do you have the list together?” Eric asked. Today was a decent day, even if it was colder than the North Pole, so we were heading to the outlet mall to see how many Christmas presents we could find. Eric had suggested ordering everything online since it’d be quicker and wouldn’t require going anywhere, but I didn’t care for that idea. I remembered going

Christmas shopping with my mom when I was a kid, and I loved finding the perfect gift almost as much as the recipient loved opening it. “Yeah, I’ve got it right here,” I told him, waving the two sheets of paper at him. There were only about a dozen young adults living at Pot of Gold, so that’s who we were buying for. All of the minors had been placed in host homes, which were essentially foster homes without the stigma attached. They had families who welcomed them with open arms and didn’t give a damn that

they were gay. In fact, many of the couples who fostered for the center were gay couples or parents who’d raised gay children. It was good because that meant the kids were living somewhere they’d be understood. “Good, so we can head downtown to pick up Bryce and then head out, right?” Eric grabbed his keys off the counter and I followed him out to the car. I hoped his mood was simply because he hadn’t heard anything more from Sam, and not because of anything having to do with us. I’d have asked, but

I didn’t want to come across as needy because no one liked needy, clingy people. “Yep.” Rather than take my place in the passenger’s seat, I followed Eric to the driver’s side and place my hand over his as he went to open the door. “Look, if you’d rather stay home, you don’t have to come with. Bryce and I can take care of it.” Eric wrapped his arm around my neck and hugged me tightly. “It’s not that,” he assured me. “You’ll have to forgive me if I seem like a scrooge right

now. I’m not the biggest fan of the holidays.” “It’s fine,” I told him as I pulled him down for a kiss. His lips parted slightly, and I dipped my tongue into his mouth. Even after almost two months, I still loved the taste of him. “Hell, you put up with a lot from me, so it’d be rather shitty if I got on your case for being in a mood.” “Yeah, but you had your reasons, too,” he pointed out. He smacked me on my ass and told me to get in the car, otherwise we’d never get home. “And

who knows, maybe this is exactly what I need. It’s a good thing you’re putting together for those guys, Drew.” “Thanks, but it’s not just me,” I insisted. I wasn’t doing this for accolades, but because I really wanted to do something good rather than be the somewhat self-centered guy I’d always been. Until Bryce stepped into my life, it’d been easy for me to pretend that there weren’t people out there who’d be happy to have a shitty bed in an open room and live off what was little more than prison food. We’d see people living

on the streets when we traveled, but it was a rarity for me to really think about what they were going through. And these guys were barely adults. Emotionally, many of them carried around pain I couldn’t even imagine. “No, but it was your idea. Don’t feel like you can’t take credit for that,” he scolded me. “Hell, I think most of the guys who are helping out are pissed that places like Pot of Gold have been right under our noses and we haven’t done anything to help sooner. Who knows, maybe this will be the start of more of us

trying to get out into the community and really help.” I gasped, feigning complete shock. “You mean get professional athletes to prove they’re capable of more than playing ball and collecting a paycheck?” “Yeah, it’s a shocker, I know.” Eric laughed. Most of the guys already did plenty to help others during their off time, but it’d be nice to get something a bit more organized, to encourage players to get out into the community to help those who didn’t lead the privileged

lives we do. “Speaking of which, have you decided what you’re going to do?” I had been avoiding the question, but now seemed as good of a time as any since Eric seemed to be in a good mood. Every day that passed without him getting an offer, he seemed to resign himself to the fact that whether he tried to say it was on his own terms or not, his time in baseball was coming to an end. “I think so,” he said, pausing long enough to pay attention at a tricky intersection. “I’m going to wait until

after the first of the year, and if there’s still nothing, I’m going to call Sam and tell him he doesn’t need to keep looking.” “Why then?” He seemed content with his decision, so it didn’t make sense that he would wait unless there was still a small part of him that hoped something would come through at the last minute. “Because I’m not going to screw up Sam’s holiday,” he responded. “While I might not be one of his bread winners, I don’t want him going into the

holidays knowing he’s going to lose the percentage he could have drawn off me.” “Okay, so what are you going to do after that? I can’t imagine you’re going to want to hang around the house all the time.” If he did, I wasn’t sure I’d want to be there after the first month. He’d grow unbearable over time. Eric was a man who needed to be doing something. “I’m thinking about asking Bryce if he wants some help in the administrative offices at the center. They need someone who can work cheap and

Bryce can trust. I don’t need their money, and if Bryce can’t trust me by now, we have other issues to work through.” That’d mean all three of us spending more time together. Even though we’d be doing our own thing, I liked the idea of both of them being close enough to stop by the office and say hi every day. And if Eric wasn’t constantly busy in the office, maybe he could help with some other ideas I had for the guys. A lot of them had zero interest in sports, but more than a few had mentioned that they’d like to do

something to feel better about how they looked. I’d offered to work out with them, but it wasn’t enough. My mind only knew what I needed to do to get back into shape. I had no clue what others should be doing. Eric did. Not only that, but he knew which muscles to work to get different results. All that shit was way above my head. “Has he heard anything about his request to relocate permanently so he’d be running Milwaukee on his own?” Eric asked. Since Bryce hadn’t been spending as much time at the house, they

hadn’t had a chance to catch up in the past week. That needed to change, but like so many things when it came to our group, I had no clue how to make it happen. “Not yet,” I responded. “He’s hoping they’ll give him an answer this month. That way, he can put in notice on his current apartment and start looking for something more permanent.” “Why would he do that?” Eric asked. I smiled, grateful that he seemed to be having the same thoughts as I was. “I’ve got plenty of room at the house and

he’s always there as it is. Or at least he was until the fucking snow started. I don’t understand why he’s so hung up on driving when the roads aren’t clear. I’ve told him he just has to slow down and he’ll be fine.” “And there’s the problem with your suggestion.” Both of us teased Bryce about his driving. When he got behind the wheel, he wasn’t unsafe, but he did test the patience of the local police departments with his speed. “I’m pretty sure his mind automatically adds fifteen miles per hour to every speed

limit sign he sees.” “True, but that’s beside the point. If he moves anywhere, it should be out to the lake,” Eric continued. “Have you mentioned it to him?” “Well, no.” Eric started muttering under his breath as he tried to find a parking spot within a block of the center. “That might be a good place to start,” I chastised him. “Hell, I remember how resistant you were to Cam moving in, and he was just a roommate while you were on the other

side of the country. Most people aren’t going to assume you’d want them to move in if you haven’t so much as hinted at the idea.” “How the fuck was I supposed to know he’d even want to?” I looked at him as if that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. While I’m sure it wasn’t at the top of the list, it had to be close. “Maybe because he’s there as much as possible,” I pointed out to him. “Or the fact that when he comes over for dinner, even if he says he’s going to head home to get some work done, he always

winds up dragging his bag into the house to work in the living room while we watch TV. Or the fact that the two of you usually leave at the same time in the morning, you to go work out and him to head into the office.” “Okay, I get your point,” Eric grumbled. “I’ll talk to him.” “Good.” When we walked into the center, Jacob was in Bryce’s office and they both looked pissed off. Like seriously pissed. I’d never seen Bryce lose his cool, but he seemed close. “Did we

come at a bad time?” Bryce looked up at us and visibly relaxed. “No, you came at the perfect time.” “Oh?” Bryce walked around and gave me a quick peck on the cheek which was more affection than he ever showed when we were here. “Yeah, I need you to do me a favor,” he said, kneading the back of his neck. “Cody and one of the other guys got into it a while ago. I’m not sure what’s going on, but he admitted that it was his fault. The problem is, he won’t

say anything else and he’s freaking out, thinking I’m going to send him back out on the streets.” “Fuck, he’s usually almost as cool and collected as you are,” I responded, slumping back into one of the chairs across from Bryce. “Tell me what you need and I’ll do it.” “I need you to talk to him,” Bryce requested. “He’s not in danger of getting kicked out of the program yet, but he can’t keep reacting the way he did before. If I knew why, then I could work to fix the problem.”

“Got it.” I stood and quickly excused myself. As I walked down the hall, I heard the rhythmic thump of a basketball on the hardwood floor in the makeshift gym. Cody stood with his feet rooted to the floor as he dribbled the ball, oblivious to my presence. I grew restless before he did and quietly opened the door. I didn’t say a word until I could reach around him to steal the ball. Cradling the ball under my arm, I motioned to the edge of the room. “What the fuck, Drew? I was using that,” Cody burst out before

stalking across the room toward me. “Yeah, I could tell you were working hard on your skills,” I chided. I slid down the wall and placed the basketball under my knees. “And you can go back to it as soon as you tell me what in the fuck happened today.” “Man, not you too,” Cody grumbled. “Yeah, me too,” I responded, my mood quickly turning sour. “Now, Bryce is trying to help you, but he can’t do his job if you won’t talk to him.” “You think I don’t know that?

Fuck, why can’t everyone just give me some fucking space?” The teen’s vocabulary was impressive. He managed to fit fuck into more sentences than I did, and that was saying something. “Because that’s not what’ll help you in the long run,” I said, remembering the conversation Bryce and I had the night before Thanksgiving. I’d been irritated when he kept pushing me to tell him what was running through my mind, but it turned out that was exactly what I needed to get a decent night of sleep. “I

know you, Cody. You don’t lose your cool.” “Everyone loses it sometime,” he deadpanned. “I’m not proud of what happened, but it’s been a long time coming.” “Why? Explain it to me so we can try to help you,” I pleaded. “Bryce isn’t trying to find a reason to kick you out, he’s trying to help you figure out what needs to change so you don’t flip shit again.” “It’s like this…” Cody started tugging at a loose thread on his shorts.

“We’re all fucking lucky to be here. I know that. If we didn’t have this place, we’d probably wind up sick and in the hospital, if not worse. Some guys need to remember that instead of bitching about the lack of privacy. Fuck, I don’t like it any more than the rest of them, but I know better than to bitch about having a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and food in my stomach every night.” “That makes sense,” I told him, hoping he’d keep talking because I felt as if we were finally getting somewhere. “So someone else was bitching, and

that’s what made you go apeshit on him?” “Part of it.” Cody wouldn’t look at me. His head hung low between his shoulders and I could see he was beating himself up over the earlier altercation. “So what’s the rest?” “I’m just tired,” Cody admitted. “Half the dudes in here don’t sleep for shit, and when they can’t sleep, it’s like they go out of their way to make sure no one can. I try to remember that this is better than sleeping on the streets, but sometimes I think about going back out

there, even for a night. I’d found a lot of quiet places.” Without thinking about it, I cuffed the back of his head. Cody flinched, and I felt like a pile of shit. He didn’t understand that not every touch was fueled by anger. “Sorry,” I apologized. “But I wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t being an idiot. It’s been below freezing every day this week. You really think you’d make it a night out there?” “No,” Cody responded timidly. “Like I said, I’m tired. Beyond tired. I’m not thinking clearly.”

The guys could bitch at me later, but I was taking matters into my own hands. I couldn’t help everyone, but I could help Cody. I stood and held out my hand to pull him off the ground. “Go get dressed and grab your coat,” I told him. “Then meet me in Bryce’s office.” “Huh?” “Don’t ask, just get your ass down there within the next five minutes if you want to get the fuck out of here,” I warned him. I barely heard Cody thanking me as he raced out of the gym toward the dorm area.

Chapter 21 “Hey, while he’s dealing with Cody, do you have a minute?” Eric asked as soon as Drew was out of the room. His timing made me wonder what was going on and if it had something to do with Drew. He seemed to be doing better about wanting to get out of the house, but that didn’t mean anything. “Yeah, is everything okay?” I closed down the grant application I’d been working on all morning so Eric had

my undivided attention. “Yeah, it’s nothing bad,” he assured me. I relaxed a bit, trying to mirror his calm demeanor. “I wanted to talk to you about the center.” “What about it?” I asked. “I want to help.” That would be a welcome change, because the more I tried to accomplish, the more I realized the founder had been in over his head trying to open an office in the Midwest without being able to commit the time needed to make it successful. I was beginning to resent him, because if things

didn’t change quickly, the people who’d come to rely on our services would be without when we were forced to shut the doors. Rather than race around the desk and tackle Eric for offering his assistance, I waited impatiently for him to explain himself. “In what way? We could always use more mentors if that’s what you’re talking about.” “Well, that too, but I was thinking about helping you,” he informed me. “I’ve decided that unless a miracle occurs in the next few weeks, I’m going

to tell my agent I’m done playing. At this point, I feel like I’ll be lucky to get anything other than a minor league deal, and I’m too old to deal with that again.” “Although it’d be great to have someone I can trust in here with me, it’d be one hell of a pay cut for you,” I responded. “That’s the best part. I don’t need the money. Between what I’ve saved and invested over the past fourteen years and what my grandfather left me in his will, I’m set as long as I’m not stupid with my money.”

This was seriously like a dream come true. I knew Eric had a degree in business administration, which was exactly what we needed. The problem was, if he took the job, I wouldn’t be needed here, and I’d just about convinced the founder that it was imperative for me to relocate permanently. Still, having someone with Eric’s attention to detail and ability to pinch pennies without demanding a huge salary was a godsend. “The main problem I’m having is that I don’t want to walk away from

baseball and have to try and figure out what to do with my life,” Eric admitted. “And the more I hear you and Drew talk about the kids here, the more I realize this is something I could do well and it’d be helping others. My grandpa was always big on giving back, and I think he’d support this decision if he was still alive.” “You sure this is what you want to do?” I asked. If I took this proposal to the founder, I needed to know it wasn’t going to come back and bite me in the ass when Eric changed his mind. Non-

profit work was rewarding, but it was also thankless much of the time. Long hours, low pay, and little room for either to improve. “One hundred percent,” he assured me. It became impossible for me to keep my hands off him a minute longer. I kicked my chair back as I stood and stalked around to where he was sitting. I leaned forward with my hands on the arms of his chair and watched him swallow hard as he looked up at me. He licked his lips, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

Unfortunately, there were too many people here for me to bend him over the desk and seal this deal by fucking him into next week. “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” I teased, making a point to stare down at the significant bulge in his pants. “Like I’d love nothing more than to strip you naked and fuck you? Like you’ve just lifted a huge weight off my chest and deserve a reward?” He swallowed hard again. He shifted in his seat and reached down to

adjust himself. “Yeah…that.” “There are too many people here, so that’ll have to wait until tonight at your place,” I responded, my voice low and husky. I knew exactly what that tone did to Eric, and I chuckled when he groaned. I leaned in closer, nipping at his ear lobe. “And it will happen. You know that, right?” “Uh-huh.” He threw his arms around my neck when I pulled back to stare into his eyes, rising with me as I stood. His lips crashed against mine as I squeezed his ass, devouring me, filling

me with the blend of coffee and spearmint that was uniquely Eric. There was a quick knock at the door and we flew apart before we lost complete control. Drew walked in, took one look at both of us, and shook his head. “I can’t leave you two alone for five minutes, can I?” “We…uh…I just told Bryce about my idea to help him get the center back on its feet and he was thanking me for my generous offer,” Eric said in a rush. Drew glided across the room, his narrow eyes focused on Eric. “You’re

not mad, are you?” “Why would he be mad?” I asked at the same time Drew voiced the same question. “Because he wasn’t here,” Eric stated softly. My jaw might have hit the floor as I watched the two of them. We hadn’t talked about what happened while we weren’t all around, but I couldn’t believe they hadn’t done anything during the days when I wasn’t able to make it out to Eric’s house. “You mean to tell me—”

“That I’ve been sleeping in my own bed with blue balls every fucking night?” Drew finished, a bit less eloquently than I would have posed the question. “Yeah, that’s exactly what he’s saying. We weren’t sure and since no one’s talked about it, we didn’t want to upset you.” I moved beside Drew and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Is that why you keep your distance from me when you’re here?” “Why I what?” Drew seemed truly oblivious to the fact that he gave

me a wide berth whenever he came to the center to tutor Cody. At first I’d assumed it was to keep things professional, but now I wondered if he was worried about going too far without Eric’s consent. “You barely acknowledge me when you’re in the lounge, and when you have to come in here, you stay as close to the door as possible,” I observed. “Huh, I didn’t realize that.” Drew seemed to be scrolling through his memory to validate what I’d said. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Well, unless it’d upset one of you, I think it’s ridiculous at this point to expect the others to act like monks if only two of us are present.” “Fine by me,” Eric agreed quickly. Drew’s only response was the slightly boyish smile he flashed when he was truly happy. “Yeah, me too.” “Good, then now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s go shopping,” I suggested. “I promised Eric I’d thank him properly tonight at his house.” Eric backed away and worried

his bottom lip. “About that…if you get the transfer you’re working on, what would you say to moving out to my place. It only seems right that it could be our place since you’re there most of the time as it is.” “Are you sure you’re ready for that?” I asked. This was a huge deal for all of us. If he just meant somewhere to crash temporarily, then I’d graciously decline his offer. If and when the time came that the three of us and all of our belongings were under the same roof, that’d mean this was the real deal. Not

necessarily a lifelong commitment, but a hell of a lot more than the casual fucking around we’d all agreed upon the first night we got together. “We talked about it earlier, and I think we’d both like that,” Drew responded. “It sucks when you’re not around, and I’m not just saying so because that means we’re all sleeping alone. I don’t know about Eric, but things are just…better when we’re all together.” Well hell, this was turning into some monumental moment I hadn’t

expected. I held both of them, burying my face between their chests so they couldn’t see what it meant to me to know they both wanted to take the next massive step in our relationship. “Nothing would make me happier.” “Uh, guys…” We looked up and saw Cody standing at the door with his winter coat on, gaping at the three of us sharing a moment. I looked at Drew, who winced. “Surprise! We’re having company tonight.” A happy Drew was something to

savor, so I couldn’t get upset with him, even though it would have been nice to know ahead of time. There was no way Eric and I could disagree with him offering Cody a night away from the center, because then Cody would think we didn’t want him around. “We are?” Eric asked, sounding dumbfounded. Drew turned to him and lowered his voice so he wouldn’t be overheard. “Yes, we are. I was going to tell you guys, but you distracted me.” “That’s not hard to do,” I

scoffed. “I’m assuming you’ll go into details later?” “Of course,” Drew agreed as he reached for his coat. “So, who’s ready to go shopping?” By the groans filling the room, it seemed Drew was the only one looking forward to today’s excursion. I considered telling him to take the rest of us home and he could go on his own, but he’d been adamant that this needed to be a group trip. Each Maverick who’d agreed to sponsor the center’s Christmas extravaganza had been given the lists for

three young men. Being the organizer, Drew had taken it upon himself to place Cody on his own list. I had the feeling our biggest problem was going to be convincing Drew that he shouldn’t go overboard buying gifts. Drew and Cody sat in the back of Eric’s car for the drive to the outskirts of Chicago. They talked about Cody’s upcoming exams and the basketball tournament scheduled for the following weekend. I tried to listen without making it obvious, because Cody had said more to Drew during the first thirty minutes of

the drive than he did to anyone else, myself included. When we got to the outlet mall, Drew handed Eric one of the lists and told Cody to go with him while I helped Drew. He claimed we were going to divide and conquer so we could get home sooner, but I had a feeling it had more to do with giving us a bit of time alone. Once Eric and Cody took off down the corridor, Drew pulled me toward a small coffee shop. We each got ourselves a drink and something small to

eat and found a table near the entrance. “I’m assuming you got him to open up?” I asked once we were both settled. “Yeah. It wasn’t easy, but with the right motivation, he couldn’t resist my charming personality.” I nearly choked on my coffee at Drew’s statement. As much as I was growing closer to falling in love with him, charming wasn’t a word I’d use to describe him. I motioned for Drew to continue as I tried to catch my breath. “He’s going stir crazy in there. I’d be

willing to bet he spent most of his time holed up in his bedroom before he got the boot from his asshole parents, and then he was on his own for the months before he came to you guys.” “Makes sense, I suppose.” But it didn’t explain why someone as cool and collected as Cody would lose his mind. Jacob ran in as soon as he heard them shouting and swore he thought Cody was about ready to pound Maxwell into the ground by the time he got into the lounge. Luckily, it happened early in the day, when most of the guys were in school or

out looking for work, otherwise the situation could have easily gotten out of hand. Boys were boys, whether gay or straight, and a lot of the ones who lived at Pot of Gold carried around huge chips on their shoulders. “But why did he lose his temper?” “I think it was a combination of being exhausted, frustration over not having any privacy, and what the other guy said that he didn’t like,” Drew told me. I knew there was more to the story than he was sharing, but figured he was trying to walk a fine line between being

open with me and not breaching Cody’s confidence. If he wasn’t going to be leaving in a few months for spring training, it’d be worth talking to Drew about going through the mandatory training to become one of the on-site counselors. “So you wanted to remove him from the situation and give him some time to calm down.” It wasn’t a question. And as long as Drew didn’t make this a habit with whichever resident was having trouble, I thought it was a good idea. Cody trusted Drew and

had obviously turned to him when he wasn’t willing to talk to anyone else. “How long did you tell him he’s staying at the house?” Drew snorted. “I’m not that stupid. I wasn’t about to invite him to spend the night without talking to you and Eric. But I was thinking since it’s Thursday and his school is out until Monday because of in-service or whatever, maybe he could stay with us for the weekend.” That didn’t sound like my idea of a good time, only because I had other

plans for the weekend. Plans which involved no clothes and only leaving the bedroom when we needed to get something to eat or pass out from lack of energy. Then again, it’d be selfish of me to put my own needs before Cody’s when Drew was trying to do the right thing here. “I’d be fine with it, as long as Eric doesn’t disagree.” “I knew you’d see it my way.” Without thinking about the fact that we were in public, Drew leaned over the table and kissed me. It was the first time any of us had shown any affection in

public. I worried that someone would snap a picture and it’d be online by the time we got home, but I tried to ignore my concerns since Drew didn’t seem terribly concerned. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go buy some shit.” I pushed away from the table and grabbed our garbage as Drew headed for the counter to grab another cup of coffee to get him through the shopping trip. Personally, I wanted something stronger because spending the afternoon in an outlet mall in December ranked high on the list of activities I tried to avoid at all

costs. Luckily, Drew was a man on a mission. He wanted to do some shopping for Cody and get everything back to the car before we met up with the guys. More than once I tried reminding him that Cody wasn’t a child who needed to be spoiled on Christmas morning, but Drew wouldn’t listen to me. He seemed intent on making up for Cody not having a family of his own. By the time Drew was satisfied with his haul, my feet hurt, my arms were aching from holding all the bags

while Drew continuously looked for “just one more thing”, and I was beyond over dealing with rude shoppers. All of my petty issues seemed to evaporate when we caught sight of Eric and Cody walking into the restaurant where we’d agreed to meet. Drew squeezed my hand and stood to give Eric a hug and a peck on the cheek before sitting down and grilling them about what they’d bought. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how much I wanted to have men like Drew and Eric in my life. It felt good sitting there, absorbing Drew’s

excitement over the upcoming Christmas celebration and Eric seemed more relaxed than he had since Thanksgiving. Somehow, these two men had become an integral part of my life when I’d been too busy to pay attention to what was happening.

Chapter 22 “You guys don’t have a Christmas tree?” Cody asked when we got done dragging all the bags into the living room. “No,” Eric responded as he started rummaging through the fridge for something to make for dinner. He wound up pulling out some storage containers of leftovers Cam had been nice enough to leave every time he cooked. If not for him, we’d all be living on takeout. “Is

that an issue?” Now that Cody mentioned it, I wished the house smelled like pine the way my parents’ old farmhouse did from Thanksgiving night until New Year’s Eve. Other than the snow piling up outside the windows and Christmas specials playing on TV when we were channel surfing, there was no sign that the holidays were upon us. “We should have one,” I told Eric as I started heating the first few containers of food. “Why? We’re going to be at the

center for Christmas, so it’s not like anyone’s going to see it,” Eric objected. I knew he wasn’t thrilled about my obsession with making the holidays a bit more bearable for the guys at the center. It wasn’t that he thought they should have to get by with whatever they were offered, but he was still having a hard time with admitting his grandfather was gone. It’d been over a year since he’d died, but it seemed as though the holidays were particularly hard on him. “No, but it’s going to look stupid to just stack these presents in the corner

of the room,” I argued. “Somehow, I don’t think anyone but you will be bothered by that,” Eric countered, glancing over his shoulder. I snuck up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I leaned in close enough so only he’d hear my next words. “That’s true, but it’ll make me happy. And just think about all the ways I can thank you for giving me what I want.” Eric groaned and I clamped my teeth down on his earlobe as I laughed. I knew he was going to cave and I’d get

my damn Christmas tree. A big one so it wasn’t dwarfed by the high ceilings and plate glass windows. “Fine,” Eric conceded. “After dinner, you and Cody can go get the tree since it was your brilliant idea.” “Thank you.” I kissed his neck, sucking hard enough to remind him what I wanted to do to him later but not so hard it left a mark. “Mmm-hmm. You’d better hurry and eat. You have a long night ahead of you between decorating the tree and wrapping all those presents.” Eric

turned around in my grasp and pressed his semi-hard dick against mine. “And you’re not going to want to miss tonight. I think Bryce is in the mood to take charge again.” Fuck. I loved it when Bryce took the lead. I’d never thought I’d be into a guy telling me what to do in bed, but it was hot as hell. And loud. And we had company for the weekend. Fuck, the old me, the self-centered asshole, wanted to jump in the car and kick Cody out at the center, but I couldn’t forget how happy he was when we told him he didn’t have

to go back there until Monday. He’d just have to deal with us being as quiet as possible, because no way in hell was I going to miss this. “Couldn’t you guys wrap while we get the tree?” I protested. Divide and conquer seemed to be a damn good idea to me. Eric shook his head and laughed. “You were the one who wanted to do all this,” he reminded me. “If I’d had my way, we’d have sat around the house all afternoon and shopped online. We probably could have even paid extra so

everything was delivered already wrapped. Now, you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.” “I hate you,” I groaned. “Nah, you just think you do.” Eric tilted my head back and sealed his mouth over mine. My cock thickened as his tongue slipped past my mouth, pushing deeper, demanding more. As he pulled away, I felt the words I’d been too afraid to say to him threatening to spill out of my mouth. I didn’t hate him, I loved him and Bryce both in a way I never expected to share with anyone. It

felt as though we were on our way to being something real and long-lasting. That, to me, was more than anything I could have asked for. Someone cleared his throat behind us. I looked over my shoulder and saw Cody watching us. His brows were furrowed in confusion. “Uh, maybe now isn’t the time for a live sex ed lesson. I mean, it’d be hot as hell, but might get a bit awkward.” The entire room erupted in laughter. The lighthearted atmosphere made me hate Cody’s parents even more.

He was a smart, funny, and talented kid whose only black mark was that he happened to be gay. I couldn’t imagine living in a world where that was enough for a family to turn their back on their own flesh and blood. It made me grateful for what I had in my own life, both the family I was related to by blood and the men I hoped I’d never again have to live without. Eric stared at me and I swore I saw the same emotions reflected back in his eyes. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I told them both how I felt. Maybe it’d

be the best thing I ever did. But not now. Tonight, when we didn’t have an audience. Rather than waste time sitting around the house eating leftovers, I grabbed the keys to Eric’s SUV and told Cody we’d get something on the way. It was late enough in the season that I wasn’t holding out hope of getting my dream tree, but I was okay with that since my main objective had changed. Charlie Brown’s pathetic little tree sounded like a fine choice because it’d take one minute to decorate and then I

could say goodnight to Cody as I ran down the hall, stripping as soon as I was out of his sight. “So, which one of them is your boyfriend?” Cody asked while we waited our turn in the drive thru line. I’d been riding an emotional high today and hadn’t thought about the fact that the way we lived wasn’t considered normal to most people. “Both of them, I suppose,” I answered. There was nothing he could ask that I wasn’t bound to get from other people, so I found myself almost hoping

he’d keep pressing the issue so I could get used to the inquiries. “You cool with that?” Cody shrugged. “Yeah, I mean it’s your life, right?” “Yes, it is,” I responded. “But I get that it’s not something everyone can understand.” “No one but you needs to understand it,” Cody pointed out. He was right, but that didn’t mean people wouldn’t think less of us because we were all together. “Don’t you get jealous?”

“How do you mean?” “I mean, if you knew they were back at your place fucking around while you’re not there, wouldn’t that piss you off?” Fuck, I really wished he hadn’t put that image in my head. “No, it wouldn’t,” I answered without hesitation. In fact, since we’d cleared the air so we all knew it wasn’t a matter of all three of us or nothing at all, I almost hoped they were. We all needed to know that we could survive as pairings because come spring, it would be impossible for me to be around all

the time. That thought upset me, but only because we were still new enough that I didn’t want to have to kiss them goodbye as I walked out the door for spring training or a long road stretch. “Then why’d that smile fall off your face?” Cody pointed out. I was saved from having to tell him as I pulled up in front of the intercom to place our order. The silence held while Cody scarfed down his food. I watched him pack away enough food for a small family, wondering if I’d eaten like that

when I was younger. Given the number of times my mother bitched about the grocery bill, I probably did. I’d hate to know how much it would’ve cost them to keep up with my appetite if they hadn’t raised so much of our food on the farm. “Can I ask you another question?” Cody inquired after he stuffed all of his wrappers into the empty sack. “Sure. I told you when we met that you can ask me anything,” I reminded him. Back then, I’d simply

been hoping he’d realize I wasn’t some hotshot athlete slumming it for the winter, but that I was there because I genuinely wanted to help him. I felt as though we’d grown to a point where I was one of the few people he could rely on and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. “Do you worry about the dude who attacked you?” I’d been waiting for someone to ask me this question, but I hadn’t expected it to come from Cody. Then again, he hadn’t been there in the early days and weeks, when asking me

anything about the night of the attack or my injuries was bound to get someone yelled at. “I mean, if they haven’t caught him, how do you know he won’t try again? Don’t you think about that when you go out on your own?” “Every fucking time,” I admitted. I couldn’t lie to Cody because I didn’t want him thinking it wasn’t okay to be worried about what could happen. According to my new therapist, it wasn’t healthy to obsess about it, but thinking about that night was totally normal. “So how do you do it?” he

pressed. I wondered if something had happened to him before he’d come to Pot of Gold. His demeanor had taken a turn, and he looked about the same as I felt most of the time when I was confronted with what had happened to me. “Doesn’t it piss you off, looking over your shoulder all the time, wondering if that fucker is out there somewhere waiting to finish what he started?” It did. I hated giving some unknown fucktard control over any part of me. I hated that he lived in my head every night, even if the nightmares had

lessened to unpleasant dreams thanks to knowing Eric was close by. But that wasn’t something I wanted to tell Cody now. The way he phrased his questions and the conviction in his voice reaffirmed that something had happened to him. I didn’t know what, but there had to be a reason he was so adamant that the center was a blessing, even as he bitched about the lousy food and the lack of privacy. He’d mentioned considering leaving, but he’d never followed through with it. On the off chance I was right, I couldn’t let him know how hard it was

for me to act normal every day. “It’s frustrating,” I admitted. We pulled into the tree lot and I pulled into a parking stall but left the engine running. “But the reality is they might never figure out who did it. That means, whether I like it or not, that asshole is going to be out there every day. The only thing I can hope for is that he’s even more worried about me remembering something if I see him than I am about crossing his path again.” “I don’t know how you can make it sound so simple,” Cody responded a

bit sad. “It’s not easy at all. But before Bryce and Eric convinced me to talk to someone and quit hiding at home all the time, I almost let that asshole take my life away from me,” I admitted. It was the most frank conversation I’d had, including the time I spent in the therapist’s office. “It’s all about learning how to take back the control. And I’m lucky enough to have two guys in my life who remind me every day that my life is too damn good to let someone else ruin.” “Lucky bastard,” Cody grumbled

as we got out of the car. I smiled because he was right. I was luckier than I deserved to be.

Chapter 23 “You aren’t really going to make him do all of that when he gets home, are you?” Bryce asked shortly after Drew and Cody took off. I wasn’t, but it was fun to mess with Drew’s mind since he was in better spirits. Before the attack, Drew and I had quickly settled into a place where no one who didn’t know us would believe he was little more than a boarder. I’d looked forward to him coming home

because he had quick wit and a sharp tongue and it was always an adventure to see what’d come out of his mouth next. And that had gone away the night I found him in the alley. “Nah, I figured we’d do that while they’re gone,” I told Bryce. “But admit it, the look on his face was priceless when I fucked with him.” Bryce pulled me down onto the couch so I was straddling his lap. He cupped my ass, pulling me close enough that our cocks rubbed together. I bent down and allowed him to claim my

mouth as he ground into me. Where Drew was content to go with whatever happened, every encounter with Bryce was filled with so much intensity it drove everything to atmospheric levels. “I love it when you show your mean streak.” As Bryce lifted my shirt over my head and latched his mouth around one of my nipples, I kept waiting for guilt to overcome me about us doing this without Drew. Even though we’d finally talked about it and everyone agreed we didn’t all have to be present, I’d expected it to

feel wrong. Instead, it felt very fucking right. “I want to fuck you.” Bryce ran his hands up my chest, stopping long enough to pinch both of my nipples and twist slightly. It wasn’t my favorite sensation in the world, but Bryce loved doing it, and I knew it was a sign of pleasure to come. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you see stars. And then, when Drew comes home, I’ll tell him his first gift is waiting in the bedroom, and I’m going to watch while you fuck him nice and slow. He’ll beg you to make him

come, but you’ll make him wait. I want to see just how evil you can be.” “Fuck yes,” I agreed. I only hoped it’d be possible for me to make it last, because Drew had this way of clamping down on my dick as I plowed into him that made it nearly impossible to keep from coming. Bryce pushed me off of him and grabbed my hand, practically dragging me into the bedroom. He shoved me down onto the bed and made quick work of stripping me from the waist down. My cock stood tall and proud away from my

body, showing him how much it turned me on to hear him simply talk about what he wanted to do. He slid me back so my head was nearly hanging off the opposite side of the king bed, spread my legs wide and kneeled between them. My dick twitched as he looked down and licked his lips. I watched, mesmerized as he wrapped his hand around my shaft and started stroking slowly. “You like the idea of me sitting in the corner, watching your dick sink deep into his ass?” He twisted his hand over the

head of my cock. I grunted my agreement. I wanted to beg him to keep going, to give me more. To fuck me the way he’d promised. “When he’s begging you to speed up, to fuck him harder so he can come, you’re going to stop and look over at me,” he told me. His hand stopped at the base of my cock and he squeezed hard enough to pull me away from the edge of the orgasm that’d been building since Drew ground up against me in the kitchen earlier. “And when you do, you’re going to see my dick out. Hard

and leaking because I want so badly to join you.” “Then do it,” I implored. “I want you to fuck me while I’m fucking him again.” “Mmmm, there will be time for that, but tonight, I want it to be the two of you,” he offered. He stopped talking long enough to bend down and lick his way from my taint all the way to the head of my aching cock. I reached out to hold his head between my legs, but he pulled back, reminding me we were doing this at his pace. “I want you to

watch me jerk off while you’re fucking him, matching your thrusts to mine. And then you’re going to look at me and I’m going to see you’re hurting just as badly as he is. I’ll nod and you’ll take that as permission.” Closing my eyes, I lost myself in the vivid picture Bryce painted for me. I gasped when I felt a wet finger press against my hole, never breaching my entrance, never quite giving me what I needed. If there’d been a time in my life when I’d been kept so close to the edge, I couldn’t remember it.

“You’ll reach down and start pumping his cock until all three of us are sweaty, sated heaps,” Bryce told me. God, that sounded like the perfect way to end the night. “You’ll collapse on top of him and hold out your hand, inviting me to join the two of you. How does that sound?” “Perfect,” I sighed. “But for now, can we get to the part where you fuck me?” Bryce laughed as he stood. I propped myself on my elbows so I could watch the strip show taking place on the

other side of the bed. His dark eyes smoldered as he watched me watching him, knowing how hard it was for me to give him this level of control. He grabbed the bottle of lube again and I rolled to my stomach, sticking my ass high in the air like a greedy slut. Bryce was the only man who’d made me this needy to feel a cock stretching me. The bed dipped and I felt the heat of Bryce’s body over me. He kissed his way down my spine, licking the top of my crack as he spread my cheeks wide. His tongue worked lower

as he pressed two fingers deep inside my body. The burn was enough to make me scream, and I knew that was nothing compared to what I’d feel when Bryce forced his way into my body. “You want to come, don’t you?” Bryce asked when he pulled away. I grunted something I hoped he’d take as assent. “Get your head up by the pillows. I’m not going to go slow. It’s going to hurt. I want you to feel me every time you hammer into Drew’s body later tonight.” Bryce was always vocal, but

never to this extent. Something had shifted and I fucking loved it. While I moved higher on the bed, Bryce grabbed a condom. I felt the broad head of his cock at my entrance and fisted the sheets under the pillow as I readied myself to take him. Knowing we were alone in the house, I let loose a string of loud expletives as he thrust into me with one steady motion. It fucking hurt, and yet I found myself begging for more. Needing everything. Bryce stilled, giving both of us time to get used to the sensation.

“Going to fuck you now,” he warned me. His fingers dug into my ass hard enough I knew I’d be walking around with bruises in the morning. I wanted that. Needed all of it. True to his word, Bryce didn’t hold back anything as he pounded into my body. My balls tightened as he hammered against my prostate and I was unable to hold back any longer. “Need to come, Bryce!” “Do it,” he urged me. “Come for me. Show me how good it feels, knowing you’re going to be feeling this

for days.” That was all it took. My body convulsed as I poured out every ounce of my orgasm. Bryce thrust into me a few more times before I felt his entire body tense over me. I’d seen him come enough times, I could picture his head thrown back in ecstasy as he spilled into the rubber. Just like he told me I’d do to Drew later, Bryce collapsed on top of me. He ran his hand down my arm, intertwining our fingers as he shifted slightly to the left so I could breathe. I

missed the weight and heat of his body immediately. I closed my eyes as Bryce began tracing circles over my back. The tenderness was such a stark contrast to his forceful nature during sex that it was disconcerting. Still, I knew I’d take whatever Bryce wanted to give me for as long as it lasted. And after the day we’d had, I truly believed I didn’t need to worry about this ending any time soon. “Were you serious earlier about me moving in?” Bryce asked just as I

was almost lulled to sleep. “Of course,” I responded. My words slurred slightly as I fought to stay awake. “I don’t think any of us sleep well when we’re not together, and it makes no sense for you to have an apartment you’re never at. If the center is struggling to make ends meet already, that’s more money they could be spending elsewhere.” “Oh, so it’s a sensibility thing?” Bryce teased. He shifted closer to me and dropped kisses across the back of my shoulder.

“No, it’s completely selfish,” I admitted. “We only have about two months left before Drew has to go to spring training, and I don’t want to waste a single minute of the time we have.” “You do know nothing’s set in stone for me, right?” I hated that Bryce had to dump a cold dose of reality on my fantasy. I’d been trying to remain positive that he’d get the transfer he’d requested and we wouldn’t have to think about what happened when he went back to Portland. “Yeah, but I’m sure you’ll

manage to persuade the boss,” I told him. I refused to let myself believe anything else. “I’m glad you have so much faith in my abilities.” Eric chuckled and then nestled in closer to my side. “Now, should we get up and go wrap those presents before the guys get back?” “Fuck that,” I grumbled. “Can’t move. They’ll still be there in the morning.” “I like the way you think.” Basking in the afterglow was cut short by the shrill ring of Bryce’s cell

phone. I’d learned this was the tone he’d connected to work related calls and groaned because I knew he was going to get up. Bryce looked concerned when he looked at the display. As he answered the phone, he rummaged through my dresser for a pair of sweatpants. He motioned toward the door and the sense of dread grew. Bryce typically didn’t worry about needing privacy when he was on the phone, even when it was work related. I grabbed the remote and tried to

find something on the television that’d keep my mind off who he could be talking to. I pulled the sheet tight to my chest as I settled on Bon Vivant for an episode of A Cut Above. Jason and Cam were out of town this week, so we hadn’t gotten together as we did every other week to watch. My heart raced as I watched our friend present his dish to the judges. The arrogant ass Jason couldn’t stand picked at the food before finally taking a bite. I fist pumped as the man’s scowl turned into a wide grin. “Now this is a dish any chef

would be proud to have on the menu,” he praised Cam. “The plating could use a bit of imagination, but only because right now it’s lacking the appeal needed to hold up to what a diner will experience when they begin eating. Well done.” That was the first time I’d heard the jerk congratulate Cam, and I wished I could reach over and pat him on the back. Cam had been vague whenever we’d asked him about how far he’d made it on the show, but as I watched the other judges agree with the first, I began to feel confident that he was holding

back something huge. The bedroom door opened and my enthusiasm waned at the fallen look on Bryce’s face. Just minutes ago, we were lying in bed ready to fall into a post-coital coma, and now he shuffled across the room as if he’d just been given bad news. Fuck. “What’s going on?” I asked. I lifted the sheet so Bryce could join me and turned off the television. Whether or not he’d admit to it, Bryce needed me. “I have to go back to Portland.” His tone was flat and lifeless. My

stomach churned, and I buried my face in his neck so he wouldn’t see my disappointment. “When?” I asked, not wanting to hear the answer. Now the guilt crept in and I thought about pausing the conversation until Drew came home. “Sunday,” he responded. “That was Mike Borgwardt. He’s scheduled a meeting for eight-thirty Monday morning and wants me to be there.” “Did he say anything about your transfer request?” As much as I knew in my gut that Bryce wasn’t coming back

once he got on the plane, I couldn’t give up. Not now. Not when I was finally admitting that I’d fallen for both men. Bryce shook his head and stared out the windows on the far side of the room. “I asked him and all he’d say is that he’d received the request and we’d talk Monday.” “That doesn’t make sense,” I argued. “If you’re going to talk about it Monday, why not just do it over the phone and save money?” “We both know why…” Bryce stopped himself from saying anything

further. As we laid there, I wished it were possible to get back the high from earlier. Instead, I could practically feel Bryce pulling away from me.

Chapter 24 Sunday morning was somber for many reasons. We’d been careful to keep our conversations and speculation about my return to Portland behind closed doors, but Cody wasn’t stupid. He knew something big was going on even though he didn’t ask questions. Drew and I had driven to my apartment Saturday afternoon to pack my clothes. Refusing to believe this was it, Eric made room in his closet for my stuff. I complied rather

than argue, because if nothing else it meant he wanted me to find my way back here. And I would. Somehow. After lunch on Sunday, Cody sat down at the dining room table and borrowed Drew’s laptop to finish a final project for his Sociology class. As I watched him flipping back and forth between his notes, textbook, and different websites, I vowed to do whatever I could because Cody was a prime example of why what we did mattered. Less than a year ago, he was living on the streets and had given up on

his dreams. Now, he was an honor roll student who’d managed to take as many classes as he could to ensure he’d graduate on time. He wouldn’t have that without Pot of Gold, and I wasn’t about to fail him. “Whatcha thinking about?” Drew asked as he leaned over the back of the couch to hug me. I turned and offered him a wan smile. The sexual energy between the three of us had cooled considerably since Friday night’s phone call. Feeling Drew’s arms draped down my chest

reminded me how much I would miss these casual moments. “I can’t shake the feeling that being sent back to Portland is only the tip of the iceberg,” I admitted to him. Drew hopped over the back of the couch and curled into my side. “You can’t think like that. Aren’t you the one who kept telling me it was pointless to dwell on the bad shit that could happen?” “You’re right.” What I didn’t tell him was that there was a difference between obsessing over what could go

wrong and admitting what I knew was insurmountable odds. Every month, the center’s bank account became a deeper shade of red. Most recently, it seemed to be a deep crimson, not dissimilar to the blood most of us poured into keeping the doors open and the heat turned on. No matter how I’d tried to streamline, it felt as though every issue I resolved uncovered two more and it was hard to stay positive when facing such odds. “I know I am,” Drew quipped. “Besides, it’s not worth being upset because you’re going to be back here in

just over two weeks. To some people that might seem like a long ass time, but in our world, it’s nothing. It’s probably a good thing you’re going back because that way we have a trial run.” “A trial run?” I parroted, glancing over to Eric, who was now listening intently to our conversation. “Yeah. Two months after Christmas, I’ll be on my way down to Arizona for spring training,” Drew pointed out. “And unless you and Eric plan to relocate temporarily, which is a bad idea for multiple reasons, that means

the two of you are going to be back here for those four weeks without me.” “You’re assuming I’ll get the transfer,” I reminded him. Eric was growing frustrated by Drew’s inability to admit there was a chance my request would be denied. Even when I’d told them I would consider other options if Mr. Borgwardt tried to deny me, he’d insisted that wouldn’t be necessary. He claimed it was all part of his effort to have a more positive outlook on life, but it felt more like a bad case of denial. “You will,” Drew responded

firmly. Eric snatched his keys off the kitchen counter. “I hate to break this up, but if we don’t get going, you’re going to miss your flight.” Drew wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. “That sounds like a damn good idea to me. Tell Borgwardt that you missed your flight and he’ll have to reschedule. For never.” He slid his hand over my thigh. He forced his way between my legs as he moved back toward my groin. “Mmm, as enticing as that sounds, I’m afraid I

have to go,” I said regretfully. “But as you said, I’ll be back as soon as I can and then you can show me how much you missed me.” I bit down on the corded tendon of Drew’s neck and he writhed in my grasp. It may be cruel for me to toy with him knowing there was no time to finish what I was starting, but I felt it only right that he be uncomfortable as well. It was his fault for trying to convince me to miss my flight in favor of getting naked and sweaty with them tonight. Drew stood and followed me to

the door. He grabbed my bag off the floor and started walking toward the car. After throwing it into the trunk with more force than necessary, he turned and threw his arms around my neck. “You’d better fucking come back.” The gruff tone in Drew’s voice choked me up. It told me that no matter how much he tried playing off my leaving, he was hurting, too. We all were. I held my arm out and Eric joined our embrace. “No matter what happens when I get back to Portland, I will be back,” I

promised them. I couldn’t leave without both of them knowing how I felt. “I know I was the one who suggested we all start fucking around and swore it didn’t have to become anything, but it did. You two became everything to me and I couldn’t help but fall in love. Now, I know that home is where you are. I won’t stay away longer than necessary.” Drew was the first to break down. He looked out over the water, trying to hide the way his eyes glistened with emotion, but I saw. It wasn’t a surprise. I’d noticed every time he

opened his mouth to share his feelings, only to silence himself to be spared the pain if we didn’t feel the same way. I felt his love in the casual touches when we passed in the hall and the way he burrowed into my chest when he slept. His feelings were clear, even if he tried to hold back for whatever reason. “You’d better have your ass back here for Christmas,” Eric warned me. “You were the one who said moving in wasn’t a small step. Just remember that because your stuff is here, even when you’re not. Get home when you can.”

I curled my fingers around the back of Eric’s neck and drew him in for a passionate kiss. I savored the firmness of his lips, the faint trace of coffee on his tongue, the musky smell he exuded after working out. I then turned and gave Drew a final kiss before I left, steadfastly refusing to say goodbye to them. This was a trial run, as Drew called it, and by this time next year, we would be pros at watching him leave while we stayed behind. As Eric drove me to the airport, I asked that he keep an eye on everything

here while I was gone. I worried more than I ever had in my life, both about what was going on at Pot of Gold while they were left without anyone in charge, but also about Drew. He’d begun to show a more intimate side of himself, and I worried that my abrupt departure would cause him to shut down to everyone yet again. Monday morning, I struggled to drag myself out of bed. Mr. Borgwardt was expecting me at his office at eight thirty, which meant he’d be irritable if I

wasn’t waiting outside the door by eight fifteen. In his mind, you were already late if you showed up ten minutes early. There was a time when I’d admired that about him, but now it pissed me off. The distance over the past two months had given me time to really analyze how he operated and I didn’t like what I saw. Mike Borgwardt was great at what he did, but only when he stood to profit, whether financially or through an increase in his reputation. Time was money to him, and every minute he spent dealing with Pot of Gold was a minute

he wasn’t earning for himself and others. Pot of Gold was a diversion for him. It was a way for him to honor the memory of the son he lost to the streets over a decade before. Unfortunately, it did nothing to pad his bank account. I was beginning to feel as though he poured money into the Portland center because that’s where his business capital firm was headquartered. It was a way for him to show how much he contributed to the city while doing nothing to assuage his guilt. Milwaukee, on the other hand,

had started as an afterthought. He’d once confessed to me that it was there where his son ran to when he left home and that was why Mike started a center downtown. He’d expected it to run as efficiently as Portland did without a quarter of the oversight or sponsorship and it was failing. The door opened, and I stood. Mike assessed my appearance critically and voiced his displeasure in my more casual attire. This too was common because I’d never believed in dressing in a manner that made me seem

unapproachable to those I was trying to help. “Bryce, it’s good to see you. Please, come in.” I followed him and took a seat while he prepared a mug of tea. It said a lot about him that he couldn’t be bothered to ask if I would like anything, but again, I was used to it. “Let’s cut the crap, Mike,” I said impatiently, calling him by his first name because I knew how much that pissed him off. He was old school and felt as though everyone should show him respect whether he’d earned it or not.

Well, I didn’t work that way, and although he was a savvy businessman, I had the distinct feeling I was about to lose any respect for his ability to operate a non-profit organization. “We both know you’re uncomfortable as hell right now, which tells me I’m not going to like what you have to say.” Mike sat down and cradled the steaming mug between his hands. His eyes shifted from me to a spreadsheet on the desk in front of him and back up. He exhaled a deep sigh. “You know, your tenacity is

something I’ve always admired,” he said, although it didn’t feel like much of a compliment. “I’ve always thought your talents were wasted at Pot of Gold, but I never could find a way to pull you away from there.” “That’s because making sure no one is left out in the cold truly matters to me,” I bit out, perhaps a bit more defensively than I should have. “Yes, I’m well aware.” He handed me a copy of the spreadsheet which was the annual operating statement for Milwaukee. I didn’t need

to look at the numbers, they were all committed painfully to my memory. “Now, I know you’ve done everything possible to turn around our location in Wisconsin. And I have to say, what you were able to achieve is truly impressive.” The paper crumpled slightly in my fist. If he’d simply wanted to congratulate me for doing the best anyone could have been expected to in my situation, he’d have done so over the phone. “However, after meeting with my

accounting team, they’ve advised me that there are only two options,” he continued. I swallowed hard, knowing what was coming. “First, I can write a sizable check to not only pull the center out of debt, but to also ensure it’ll never again get to where it is now.” That wasn’t going to happen. If he’d had any interest in funneling more money, he would have done it one of the numerous times I’d broached the subject. That meant the second option was the only option he was considering. “The alternative is that we close

the center in Milwaukee and focus our efforts closer to home,” he added bluntly. Images of Cody flashed through my mind: him taking control on the basketball court, sitting at the table in Eric’s dining room on Thanksgiving trying to catch up on his homework, and even him red-faced and breathing heavy after blowing up at another resident for talking shit about the center. I lurched out of the chair and started pacing around the office. It was easy to make these decisions while

sitting in a corner office. “You can’t do that!” I protested loudly. “Even if it wasn’t the middle of winter, you can’t lock the doors on those kids.” “Bryce, while I appreciate your passion, you need to calm down. Your last report stated that you’ve found foster families for all of the minors who’d been staying at the facility which means everyone else is a legal adult.” He sat straighter in his chair and began filing away the spreadsheet he’d made such a show of looking at minutes ago. “Fuck that!” Apparently, Drew

and his foul mouth were rubbing off on me. “Those guys might be adults based on their birthdates, but I promise you, if you turn them away they will not make it. Part of what we do is pick up the pieces and help them land on their feet when everyone else has turned their backs.” “I’m well aware of Pot of Gold’s mission.” My hands curled into tight fists at his condescension. He might have memorized the mission statement some publicity firm drew up for him, but he was clueless as to what we were trying to achieve. For the first time, I wished

he’d never had the brilliant idea to open a transitional home for gay teens and young adults. “No, Mike, I don’t think you are.” I was seething. Heat rose in my face as my blood pressure spiked. “I think you’re nothing more than a man who got lucky and has more money than he knows what to do with. You’ve probably gotten this far in life by throwing money at the problems you face so they’ll go away. The problem is, now you feel as if you’ve paid your penance for turning your son away when he was

younger and you’re bored. You want a new project to keep you busy.” Mike rounded the desk, grabbing my arm as I turned away from him. “How dare you bring Tim into this! I’d give every penny I have if it meant he was here today.” “But you can’t!” I screamed. “He’s gone and you hate yourself for that. No matter how much money you spend, it’ll never be enough.” I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled to a picture I’d taken of Cody over the weekend. He was smiling

broadly as he rummaged through the bags of clothes and new shoes Drew had given him when we finished wrapping Christmas presents. He was sitting in front of the tree with all of the gifts and the tree he and Drew had picked out serving as a backdrop. “This is what it looks like when good men try to make a difference.” I handed him the phone, noticing the way his body slumped as he stared at the image. “That’s Cody. When one of your volunteers found him, he was underweight and had dropped out of high

school. Now, he’s on track to graduate on time, one of his mentors has helped him secure the full ride scholarship he thought he’d lost when it came out that he’s gay, and he’s on the honor roll. If you close the center, there’s no telling if any of that will happen for him. He’ll be back on the streets in the middle of a brutal winter. Do you want that on your conscience?” Mike shoved the phone back at me. “Compelling, but my decision is final. We’ll do everything we can to help the young men who are living there find

other accommodations, but as of the first of the year, Pot of Gold Milwaukee will be no longer.” His phone rang and he waved me toward the door. I’d been dismissed without the opportunity to tell him what a worthless pile of shit he was. I punched at the call button on the elevator, needing to get out of there before I lost my fucking mind.

Chapter 25 I pushed harder than I had since the end of the baseball season during our morning workout. I’d finally been cleared for full activity and I was determined to work my ass off so no one thought I’d lost my touch over the winter. Plus, it gave me something to think about other than Bryce’s ominous meeting in Portland. “Hey, you wanna take it easy?” Eric hollered across the empty gym. The

weights clattered back to the stack as when I let go. Sweat poured down my face and I was out of breath. Okay, so maybe I was pushing a bit harder than I should. “You still have two months before you report, no sense trying to make everything up in one week.” I scowled at him, pissed because he was right. But I couldn’t help myself, I felt like I had something to prove to everyone. I needed to get out there and show them that the last game of the season was a fluke, that I wasn’t bound to be the fuck up I felt like at the end of

that game. I yanked my towel off the end of the rack and wiped my brow. I wanted to jump on the elliptical for a while, but when I stood, my entire body felt like rubber. “I’m going to hit the shower. I’m starving.” The ping of a new text message coming in echoed off the tile walls in the locker room as I showered. I quickly finished rinsing off and dried my head and arms as I rushed across the room. It was just now eight thirty on the west coast, so Bryce was in his meeting. Cam

and Jason were out of town on some romantic getaway, so I doubted it was them. My parents could barely work their cell phones and refused to text anyone. The list of who it could be quickly dwindled. I reached up to the top shelf of my locker, feeling around for the phone. It was Cody. Is it true? I quickly texted back asking him to clarify what he was talking about. Since he was the only person who’d contacted me, it didn’t make sense that it could be about baseball or even my

attack, but other than those two things, I couldn’t think of any reason for his vague message. I had barely pulled on my boxer briefs when my phone started ringing. “Hey Cody, what’s going on?” I answered. “I just got out of the fucking guidance office,” he informed me. I could practically see him fisting his hands through his hair the way he did when he was pissed off. “They got a call this morning from some asshole saying that I am going to be looking for a new

place to stay and wanted to know if the school had the resources to help me find something.” “Whoa, slow down,” I interrupted, knowing that otherwise he wouldn’t stop talking until he got everything out. “What do you mean you need a new place to stay? Who called them?” I rushed to finish getting dressed and walked out to the gym barefoot. Eric was much more level-headed than I was during stressful times and I wanted him to help me work through whatever was

going on. “They said they were from Pot of Gold, but that didn’t make sense,” Cody continued. He was right, it didn’t. I knew Bryce was worried about why he was being called back to Portland, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about them shutting down. And I couldn’t imagine anyone would be so heartless as to do it during the holidays. Eric stopped the treadmill and joined me at the edge of the room. I stopped Cody again long enough to catch Eric up on what was happening. I could

have dropped to my knees and kissed his feet when he took the phone away from me. “Hey Cody, it’s Eric,” he said so Cody would know he was no longer talking to me. “Before you freak out, I’m going to call and talk to Bryce. He’ll know if the phone call was legit or if someone’s trying to fuck with you.” Eric handed me his phone so I could try Bryce while he tried to calm Cody. The call went directly to voicemail, so I left him a message to call me as soon as his meeting was over.

“Yeah, we can come and get you if that’s what you want but didn’t you have some big exam this afternoon?” I grew impatient as Eric waited for Cody to finish rambling. “Okay, well no matter what’s going on, it’s not going to do you any good to miss that. Do your best to make it through and if you really can’t focus, talk to your counselor and teachers and have them call me… Don’t mention it… Okay, good luck on your test. If we don’t hear from you before the end of the day, why don’t you plan on us picking you up after school?”

Eric ended the call, and we swapped phones. He stormed into the locker room, punching one of the metal locker doors on his way through the room. I considered reminding him that he didn’t want to fuck up his hand, but stopped myself. Right now, that’d be pouring salt in the wound since I knew he still wasn’t as fine with quitting baseball as he tried to make it seem. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m going to find out,” Eric seethed as he snatched his shower kit out of his bag. “I had a bad fucking feeling

when Bryce got that phone call. And so help me, if I find out he knew about this and didn’t tell us, I’ll jump on a plane and fly out there to personally kick his ass.” I grabbed Eric before he could step under the spray of water and turned him to face me. “Do you honestly believe he’d have kept something like this from us?” “No,” Eric conceded. “But he’s not even out of that meeting and we’re hearing shit from Cody. That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, it is.” Somehow, I’d become the voice of reason. That was something I was fairly certain no one who’d met me would believe. “But we don’t even know if it’s true or not. For all we know, someone could be trying to mess with Cody’s mind. It’s not exactly a huge secret that he’s been living there, and we all know that kids can be assholes.” Eric shook his head. “The timing is too perfect. As much as I’d love to believe your little Miss Sunshine logic, I can’t. There’s no way anyone else

knows there’s some huge meeting happening right now that had Bryce worried before he left yesterday.” Shit. He had a valid point. Now I was worried about what we’d find out when Bryce called us back. Eric stepped into the shower and I leaned against the wall, openly watching him as he cleaned up. If we were at home, I’d have offered to help him but we couldn’t be that reckless in a public locker room. It’d already draw attention that I was standing there talking to him while he showered, but that could be played off

easily enough. Athletes learned early on that modesty would get you nowhere good in a hurry. “So what are we going to do?” I asked. If it was my house, there would be no question that we’d go to the center and get Cody’s shit to move him out of there. But it wasn’t, no matter how much Eric claimed otherwise. It was his name on the deed and I still remembered how unenthused he’d been when I’d invited Cam to move in while he’d been out in Seattle. “First, we’ll get something to

eat. Then, we’ll wait for Bryce to call us back. Once we know what’s going on, we’ll all sit down and decide what happens next,” he told me. He smirked as he turned off the water and I knew I’d been busted ogling him. “And just so you have a heads up, I’m going to have a meeting this afternoon, so you’ll probably have to go pick up Cody at the school. Find out if there’s anything you can do so you’re his official contact. It may not be an issue since he’s eighteen, but double check. But make sure you ask him before you do anything. I don’t want

him thinking we’re trying to step in and take charge of his life.” I flashed him a broad grin. Eric loved to give me shit for letting Cody worm his way under my skin, but it seemed I wasn’t the only one who gave a shit what happened to the kid. I took the keys from Eric and headed out to warm up the car while he got dressed. No matter how much I stared at my phone or flipped it over in my hands, it still didn’t ring. The time on the display showed just before eleven in the morning, meaning it was almost nine

in Portland. I felt helpless waiting for Bryce to call me, so I decided to try him one more time. “Hey, I was just thinking about you,” Bryce answered on the third ring. That was great, but I’d rather he called than tried to somehow communicate telepathically. My skills in that department were seriously lacking. “You know, it’s the damndest thing. When you’re thinking about someone, you could check your voicemail and know they’re waiting for you to call them,” I chided.

The noise in the background grew louder as Bryce sarcastically tried to apologize for not calling the moment he got out of his meeting. “It’s fine,” I told him. I debated telling him about our morning, but decided I wanted to give him a chance to explain what he knew first. If it turned out that this was a hoax, there was no sense in upsetting him when he couldn’t do anything about it. Apparently, Eric’s levelheadedness was rubbing off on me. Either that or I was losing my mind. Either were real possibilities. “So, how

was the meeting?” “It sucked,” he responded bluntly. The background noise faded before being replaced by music blasting through the speakers. That seemed out of character for Bryce since he was always bitching at me to turn down the music in my own car. “Is Eric there? I’d really rather only have to talk about this once.” “That good, huh?” I asked. When Eric stepped outside the building, I leaned over and honked the horn so he’d hurry the hell up. “Worse, if you can believe it,” he

admitted. A pit formed in my stomach because I had a bad feeling the call to Cody’s school this morning was no hoax. Like Eric had said, the timing was too coincidental now that I knew Bryce wasn’t happy about the outcome of his meeting. I hit the button to connect the Bluetooth. “Okay, we’re both here now.” “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to do it,” Bryce started. I reached over for Eric’s hand, needing to feel a physical connection to at least one of my guys. “The center’s closing at

the end of the month. The founder is unwilling to keep solely funding the daily operations and he sees this as his only option.” “They can’t fucking do that!” I yelled. “Doesn’t he give a damn that he’s kicking those kids right back out on the streets? He’s the one who gave them a place to go. He’s the one who gave them a sense of security. And it’s all bullshit! Now, they’re going to be thrown out with nothing. Did you fucking explain that shit to him?” “Drew, you need to calm down,”

Eric warned me. I glared at him because there was no fucking way I was going to sit back and let this happen. Someone had to fight for those kids. I’d have thought that someone would’ve been Bryce, but he’d just taken the bad news and walked out. “Bryce, did you ask him if he could give you some more time to either get the funding necessary to keep the doors open or find Cody and the rest of the guys another solution?” “He wasn’t exactly receptive to anything I had to say,” Bryce admitted. “So make him listen to you,” I

demanded. “You can’t just give up without a fight.” Eric slid his hand down to my knee and squeezed hard. When I looked over at him, he shook his head as if silently scolding me for my outburst. Well, that was too fucking bad because if Bryce wanted to get pissed at me for calling him out, it’d be because I wasn’t saying anything that didn’t need to be said. “Drew, there’s nothing more I can do.” I’d never heard Bryce sound so defeated. Good. At least that showed

that he wasn’t unaffected by the fact that his boss had no problem completely fucking a bunch of guys who had nowhere else to turn. Guys who’d been softened by a rich fuck with too much money to throw around and would now have to fend for themselves again. They’d have been better off if that asshole had just left them to their own devices. “Pot of Gold needs money. A lot of it. And I’m not sure if you know this or not, but working for a non-profit isn’t something you do to get rich.” I opened my mouth to say

something I’d likely regret, but Eric interrupted me before I could start spewing more shit. “Tell us what we can do to help,” Eric requested. “Like I said, there’s not much that can be done,” Bryce repeated. “Right now, the main concern is going to be finding the guys a place to go so they’re not trying to live on the streets or waiting in line for a bed at the shelter every night.” “Cody’s coming to stay with us,” I blurted. Eric gaped at me but didn’t argue. Given our earlier conversation, I

thought that’s what Eric would want as well, but I wasn’t so sure. “So how many others does that leave?” If I had to, I’d call everyone I knew to find those guys warm beds to sleep in. Hell, if any of them were up for it, I’d ask my parents to come and pick them up. They could work on the farm when they weren’t in school. It was hard, back breaking work, but I knew firsthand that it was also invaluable experience. And since none of them spoke to their families any longer, it’d be good for them to have a doting mother

who’d never gotten used to her empty nest. “Seven,” Bryce responded. “And before you mention it, no, you can’t take them all home. I know you want to help, Drew, but it’s not a realistic option.” “Well, I sure as fuck can’t do nothing,” I grumbled. “If it comes down to them sleeping on the streets or in our basement, I’ll fight for it.” “Drew, slow the fuck down,” Eric warned me. “No one’s going to be living on the streets. I still agree that Cody should come with us, but the rest

of the guys won’t have to worry. Bryce, are they all aware of what’s going on?” “I honestly don’t know,” Bryce responded. “After Borgwardt and I had our argument, I stormed out of there. Probably not my finest moment, if I’m being honest.” Eric laughed. “No, probably not, but it’s understandable. Look, I’m going to sit down with my accountant this afternoon. Whatever it takes to keep the center open, consider it done.” Bryce huffed out a ragged sigh. “That’s great, but he made it abundantly

clear he’s not interested in funding. He wants out.” “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m willing to put money into the center to keep it open,” Eric responded. “You don’t get how much it’s going to take, do you?” I stared, openmouthed, at the speaker. I couldn’t fucking believe Bryce was trying to talk Eric out of this. “Whatever it takes, I’ll write the fucking check. We’d already talked about me coming down to work for the center so I wouldn’t be bored off my ass.

I made that offer because I saw how much good you were doing there,” Eric told Bryce. He then looked at me intently so I’d know he included me in that statement. “I’ve been drawing one hell of a salary for years. My agent has made some investments which will likely help dig us out of the hole the founder created. Plus, I have the inheritance from my grandfather just sitting there waiting for me to do something with it. I think he’d be pleased to know his money will go to helping kids.” “Great, so you have the money to

throw at the problem,” Bryce scoffed. I wanted to reach through the phone and slap the shit out of him. He wasn’t the pessimist in this little trio, that was my job. “That doesn’t change the fact that it’s not as easy as writing a check. There’s paperwork to be filed, background checks to be run, and a whole bunch of shit I’m not thinking of right now because I’m so pissed off.” “Then get your ass home so we can do it,” Eric suggested. “Between my money and your experience, we can do this, Bryce. I’ll keep saying it until you

believe me, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes.” If not for the fact that Eric was driving, I’d have climbed on his lap and kissed him senseless. He wasn’t going to let this go. He wasn’t going to give up on the guys at the center. He was determined to make sure that anyone who didn’t feel safe at home had a place to go. For the first time since he’d mentioned quitting baseball, I understood why. Life was more than a game. As much as I still loved that game, I was a bit jealous that he’d have

something more in his life while I crisscrossed around the country all summer. They would have something they shared, and I’d be on the outside. “There are loose ends I’d have to tie up here,” Bryce protested weakly. I smiled, knowing Eric was stubborn enough that he wouldn’t give up until Bryce walked back into our home and our lives, this time for good. “Then start doing whatever you need to do. Just get it done and get your ass home. There’s work to be done.” “Look at you, getting all bossy,”

Bryce teased. Since we’d gotten past the issues with Pot of Gold in record time, the mood had lightened significantly. “I like it.” “Yeah, well someone has to take the lead and it can’t always be you,” Eric retorted. “Hey, when’s it my turn?” I asked, pretending to be offended when they both laughed. “What? I think it’s only fair that we all have a chance.” “Drew, there are many reasons for us to love you, but your ability to think under pressure isn’t one of them,”

Bryce quipped. “Oh, so I’m just a pretty face to you?” I sulked. Yeah, it stung a bit to know that neither of them thought of me as a decision-maker. To me, the feeling mirrored some sort of personality flaw. Eric ran his hand along the inside of my thigh. I shifted in my seat because the higher his hand climbed, the tighter my pants felt. “Babe, we love you for a hell of a lot more than your good looks, although those are a nice bonus. What Bryce is saying is that you’re much more content to have someone tell you what to

do and then you go do it. You’re not a planner, you’re a doer. And you do very well.” “Not helping,” I grumbled. Eric cupped my dick, trying to take my mind off everything but him. “Eric, are you jerking him off right now?” Bryce asked. Eric laughed. “Stop that. When you get home, fuck his brains out, but I’m not comfortable with the thought of you fooling around when you should be paying attention to your driving.” “Was that a suggestion or a

demand?” Eric teased. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to the way he could easily slip from doing what he wanted to following whatever Bryce demanded. It was hot as fuck. “How long until you’re back at the house?” Bryce’s breathing was stilted and I closed my eyes, picturing him sitting in his car along the side of the road, stroking his cock as he thought about what we were doing. “Fifteen minutes if we skip lunch.” “Skype me,” Bryce insisted. And

no, it wasn’t a request. “Our plans the other night fell through, but I still want to watch you fuck him.” “We could wait until you get home,” Eric offered. I slapped his upper arm because that was the worst idea I’d ever heard. It wouldn’t be quite the same with Bryce only watching over the computer, but there was no way in hell I could live through blue balls for however long he was gone. “No,” Bryce demanded. “We’ll celebrate my homecoming when the time comes, but today, you’re going to set up

the computer on a chair in the bedroom. I need to see the two of you almost as much as Drew needs to get off.” I furrowed my brow, confused because I didn’t think I’d been that obvious about my need. Perhaps it was just another reminder of how well Bryce knew me. We said our goodbyes and Bryce disconnected the call. My stomach growled in protest but I ignored it. There’d be time for eating later. Right now, I wanted Eric to break the land speed record so we could be naked in bed.

Chapter 26 When Bryce mentioned wanting me to set up the laptop in the bedroom, I’d figured it would be easy. Chair, computer, done. Nope, it turned out it was a pain in the ass to get the laptop where it needed to be so Bryce had an unobstructed view of what was going on. Making it even more difficult was the fact that he’d suggested that Drew strip and lie down on the bed while we made adjustments. You know,

so he knew when the angle was just right. Then, he suggested that Drew start stroking himself and I wanted to say fuck it. “Suck on your finger, Drew,” Bryce instructed. I turned my head just in time to see Drew swallow his middle finger to the third knuckle. I knew where that digit was going, and fuck if it didn’t make me hard as steel. I couldn’t help the groan that escaped my lips. “Yeah, you like watching that, don’t you? When I get home, maybe I’ll have him show you how good his fingers feel buried

deep in your ass. Make him get you ready for me. Now, turn it a little more to the left.” When I glanced down at the monitor, I noticed Bryce had adjusted his own laptop so the camera focused on his chest and his very erect, very naked dick. With his hand curled around the shaft, stroking as he told Drew to play with his ass. If they weren’t careful, I was going to blow my load before I even got over to the bed. “You can really be a bastard when you want,” I complained. I reached

down to ease the pressure behind my zipper, but Bryce stopped me, telling me to be patient. That was easy for him to say, he wasn’t the one stuck watching both of the men he loved jerking off while he fucked around with setting up a damn computer. “I know.” Bryce chuckled. “That’s just about perfect. Now, why don’t you go and join him on the bed?” I practically tripped over my own feet as I raced to Drew’s side. With one finger still buried deep in his ass, Drew pushed up and wrapped his hand

around the back of my neck, pulling me down for a searing, passionate kiss. His hand trailed over my shoulder and down my still clothed chest, tugging the fabric higher. While he went to work on the button of my jeans, I pulled my T-shirt over the back of my head and threw it somewhere across the room. Drew pulled away, biting down on my lower lip. I gasped and he seized the opportunity to tease me with his tongue. “God, you two are fucking perfect together,” Bryce praised from

across the room. “Eric, take off your pants and turn. I want you to fuck his hand while you get him ready for you.” Both of us shifted on the bed to make sure our bodies weren’t blocking Bryce’s view. Drew curled his fingers around my shaft and began slowly stroking while I wrapped my lips around him. I teased the head, savoring the salty taste of him on my tongue. He bucked his hips, shoving more of him into my mouth than I’d been prepared for. I pressed down on his thigh to hold him in place. The entire time, Bryce sat

halfway across the country telling us what he wanted next and we willingly obliged. Drew groaned when I ran the tip of my tongue across his taint. Moaned when I circled his entrance. Gasped when I shoved two fingers deep inside. “Get the condom,” Bryce urged. I wanted to appease him but I wasn’t ready to break my connection to Drew. I should have known he’d sense my hesitation. “Now, Eric.” I hurried to get a condom and the bottle of lube out of the nightstand. It seemed to me it would have made better

use of our time if he’d told Drew to set that up while I’d been fucking around with the computer. Drew rolled onto his stomach and stuck his ass high enough in the air to give Bryce a good view. I envied how carefree he was when it came to showing off his body. “Not like that,” Bryce informed us. I wondered briefly if this was how making porn felt. We knew what we wanted to do and we were both more than ready to do it, but at the same time, we were at the mercy of someone who

was only indirectly involved in what was happening. And yet, Bryce’s interaction didn’t feel indirect at all. It felt as though he was doing what he needed to do to be fully involved with us. “You’re going to ride him, Drew. I want to see you burying that long cock deep inside your tight ass.” It took me no time at all to comply with this suggestion. I laid back on the bed and handed the foil packet to Drew, then folded my hands behind my head. If this was Bryce’s way of allowing Drew to take control in some

way, I was going to bask in the feelings of him wrapped around my dick. Drew leaned forward and sucked my cock deep into his throat. I may never understand how he did so without gagging, but I was grateful as hell he could. He swallowed around me and I nearly lost the ability to think. Hell, I almost lost my entire fucking load down his throat. He pulled off and opened the packet, rolling it down my length at a painfully slow pace. He was enjoying the show he was putting on for Bryce. He laughed at the look of combined

anguish and bliss on my face. “Fuck me, Drew,” I begged him. This had gone on long enough I couldn’t guarantee I’d last beyond the initial entrance into his body. I wanted, more than anything, to fuck him until night fell, but I was too fucking close. “With pleasure.” He straddled my body, squatting over me until I nearly flipped him onto the mattress. Then, I felt it. I looked up at Drew as he lowered himself onto me. He bit down hard on his lip to keep from screaming out as his body stretched around me. The

pressure stole the words of praise, kept me from telling him exactly how perfect he felt, how beautiful he looked. Bryce once again began chanting his praises through the computer as Drew rode my cock. I wondered how it looked from Bryce’s view, my dick disappearing into Drew’s body, the flex of his ass as he lifted off of me. “Faster,” Bryce urged. “Fuck him like you mean it.” I wasn’t certain which one of us that instruction was meant for, so I began bucking my hips off the bed, plowing

fast and hard into Drew’s body every time he lowered himself. Within moments, the room was filled with Drew’s screams as cum jetted over our bodies. I kept fucking him, chasing my own release, moaning as I finally let go. Drew collapsed on top of me, gasping for breath. Sweat dripped from his forehead onto my chest and I pushed the hair away from his face. “I love you.” It was the first time I’d said those three words directly to him. Before now, it had only been mentions of the emotion in passing, but I

wasn’t about to let another minute go by without both of them knowing how I felt. “You too, Bryce. I love you both.” “Well, that’s good, because I think you’re stuck with us,” Drew quipped. I reached around and swatted his ass. “What? It’s true! I already live here and I swear you’d jump on a plane and drag him back here if you could. See what I mean? You’re totally stuck.” “I don’t see it that way at all.” I looked over to see Bryce still watching us, although now he was fully dressed. That was a damn shame because I loved

looking at the sculpted muscles on his chest. Loved feeling them even more, but that’d have to wait. “Some people go their entire lives without finding someone to love them, and I’ve got two of you. Seems to me I’m pretty damn lucky.” “We all are,” Bryce added. Drew and I both looked over to the screen and saw him watching us, a mix of longing and sadness painted on his face. “As much as I’d love sitting here watching the two of you all day, the sooner I get started, the sooner I can

come home.” “What all do you have to do?” Drew asked. “Well, to start, I have to write a letter of resignation. I’m sure it won’t be a surprise to him, but I have to do this the right way.” I knew he’d say that, but I didn’t have to like it. Hopefully, the right way only included giving the asshole two weeks’ notice. That was about fourteen days longer than he deserved, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from Bryce. In fact, part of me feared he’d tell us he was stuck out there until they found

a suitable replacement. I’d support his decision if that’s what he chose to do, but it’d be hard to keep from telling him what I thought about the miserable piece of shit he worked for. I pushed Drew off of me and laughed when he grumbled about wanting to stay where he was. Unfortunately, he wasn’t as light as he liked to think he was and it was getting hard to breathe. Plus, I had phone calls I needed to make and they couldn’t wait. We’d already wasted a valuable hour tending to our own needs when there

was a group of guys depending on us to keep a roof over their heads. “I’ll be home as soon as I can,” I informed him. “Pick up Cody after school, talk to the secretary about what we discussed earlier, and I’ll try to be home by dinner. If you want, offer to run by the center and pick up his stuff. While everything is up in the air, I’d rather he not be there.” “What about the other guys?” Drew asked. I kissed the top of his head. “I know you want to help everyone, but we

have to start small. You take care of Cody and let me worry about the rest.” “Okay.” I couldn’t believe how easily Drew backed down. That meant that either he was still in a post-fucking haze or he believed it’d all be okay. My money was on the former because the lines in his forehead spoke volumes as to how concerned he was about keeping the doors at Pot of Gold open. By the time I walked out of my accountant’s office, I felt as if I were floating. The meeting had gone extremely

well and while he had concerns about me buying out Pot of Gold, he thought it was a noble cause. I wasn’t sure about all that, but I smiled as he praised me and told me how proud my grandfather would be and thanked him for his time. On the way home, life got even better when my agent called and gave me a quote that’d be fair to the other baseball players he’d lumped together for some joint investments. Essentially, once we figured out how to structure the non-profit, I would become a tenant in my own building. Even though I was

leaving him high and dry by retiring, Sam had busted his ass to make everyone see why it was important for me to use the space. All I wanted to do was go home and tell Drew and Bryce the good news, make sure Cody knew that it wouldn’t matter for him because he was staying with us for as long as he wanted, and fall into bed. The day had been one hell of an emotional roller coaster, and that wasn’t the type of thrill I loved seeking. I felt more drained than I did after a double header which meant I was nearly

dead on my feet. Unfortunately, Drew seemed to have other plans for the night. One side of the driveway was lined with cars and the house was lit bright enough you could have seen it from space. After parking, I walked to the back door and was hit by a wall of sound coming from the great room. It was the type of scene I expected to see on Super Bowl Sunday, but this was just an average Monday. Drew rushed over to me when he noticed that I’d walked in. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind. I called Cam to vent

about what’s going on with the center and he insisted on coming home to see how they could help. Apparently, that led to him calling and ratting me out to my parents, who called my sisters. Oh, and Jason called Sean and Mason, who then called their parents.” My mind swirled as he pointed to everyone, as if I’d be able to keep them straight in my mind. The support Drew had unknowingly been able to garner in one afternoon warmed something deep inside of me. I looked around the room and felt something I

hadn’t felt since before Pa died. Family. Unconditional love. True acceptance. I spotted Cody sitting off to the side, looking as overwhelmed as I felt. He offered me a weak smile and tried to focus on the textbook in his lap. That wouldn’t work. I could barely hear myself think over the women who were already plotting fundraisers and trying to con Cam into telling them if they could tout a Bon Vivant Network star as the chef for whatever it was they had up their sleeves. To his credit, he was getting much better at not giving away

too much about his success or failure on the show. The bastard. After the last episode, I felt confident that he’d done well, but I wanted confirmation. I left them to their scheming and made my way over to Cody. “Hey, did Drew show you your room?” He nodded. “So why aren’t you there? It might be easier to work without all the noise. And I thought you’d appreciate the privacy.” “Oh, I do,” Cody assured me. “It’s nice knowing it’s there if I want it. Just having the ability to close a door

behind me and know no one will bother me means more than you’ll ever know. But right now, this is nice.” He shrugged. “It probably sounds stupid, but it reminds me of when my family used to get together. I miss the chaos sometimes, too.” “That doesn’t sound stupid,” I promised him. “Crazy, yes. But not stupid. Well, I’ll leave you to the noise. Just remember, tomorrow’s a school day and finals are coming up.” “Yes, Dad,” Cody teased. Those words stopped me dead in my tracks. I

knew he didn’t see me as a father figure, but it made me wonder if that might be another piece of my future. Then, it just made me feel old. “Don’t start that shit, kid,” I chided. “I may be retired, but I’m still not old enough to be your dad.” Cody laughed and pulled out his laptop. He turned it toward me and I saw my headshot staring back at me. “Actually, this says you’re thirty-six. That means that if you had me when you were my age, you are old enough to be my father.”

Fuck, the kid knew how to cut deep. Luckily, I knew how to fire back. “True, but when I was your age, I was busy trying to find guys who didn’t mind sucking my dick and staying quiet about it after the fact. What’ve you done lately?” I seriously needed to quit hanging around Drew so much. His immaturity and horrible timing were rubbing off on me, as evidenced by the gasp from one of the mothers and the giggles from one of Drew’s sisters. “That’s just harsh.” Cody

slammed his textbook closed, gathered his stuff and smirked at me as he walked by. “Remember, I know where you sleep. Paybacks are a bitch.” It seemed I wasn’t the only one being corrupted by Drew. I gave Cody a friendly pat on the back and told him I’d knock on his door when dinner was ready. And now that my mind was able to take in everything going on around me, it looked as though that wouldn’t be too much longer. With Cam and Drew’s mom in the kitchen, I turned my attention to the

brainstorming in the living room. If they wanted to help, I wasn’t about to turn them away because as excited as I was, there was still part of me terrified that we wouldn’t be able to make this abstract dream a reality.

Chapter 27 My mother used to tell me that the start of a new year was something to celebrate because it was a chance to start over. I had no clue how the guys had managed to pull it off, but we were certainly ringing in the New Year with style. By the time I’d sublet my apartment in Portland and picked through what I wanted to bring back to Wisconsin with me, Drew and Eric had

been well on their way to opening a newer, better center to replace Pot of Gold, which had only stayed open twelve days after my meeting with Mike Borgwardt. The minute he heard that there was a contingency plan in place, he’d sent someone over to lock the doors. With input from Cody, Jacob, and some of the other guys who were either current or past residents at Pot of Gold, they’d leased the first two floors of a multi-use property. The first floor would eventually be a community center of

sorts and the second would be converted into dorm style apartments, where the residents could have a bit of privacy, but there would be rules in place and staff on hand around the clock to make sure no one took advantage of their taste of freedom. All of that would take more time, but that didn’t stop anyone from celebrating tonight. “I still don’t get how you pulled this off,” I admitted to Eric when he returned from schmoozing with some potential investors. As it turned out, Eric’s grandfather had been well

connected and Eric knew exactly how to pull on both their heartstrings and purse strings. He was determined to find a way for the new, yet to be named, center to not only survive but thrive. I reached up and smoothed the lapels of the tuxedo he’d bitched about having to wear. This may be my only chance to see both of them dressed up with their hair slicked back, so I hadn’t budged when he’d tried arguing that his suit would be dressy enough. I couldn’t wait until the crowd thinned so I could take them both home and rip them out of

their tuxes. That thought made me realize I hadn’t seen Drew in a while. He’d excused himself to check on something toward the end of dinner and hadn’t returned. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stave the building panic. Granted, everyone here had paid handsomely for the opportunity to have a meal prepared by the four semi-finalists of A Cut Above, which thankfully included Cam, but that didn’t mean his attacker didn’t have the means to buy his way into one of the few places where Drew’s guard

was down. Feedback screeched through the room, drawing all eyes to the dais at the front. I breathed a sigh of relief when Drew caught my attention and flashed a wicked smile. Next to him, Cody fidgeted with the cuffs of his buttondown shirt. “Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment.” The entire room fell silent. I looked to Eric, but he seemed just as confused as I was by what was unfolding in front of us. “First, I would like to thank you

all for coming tonight,” he began. This wasn’t the same goofy, somewhat selfcentered man I’d met a few months ago. This version of Drew commanded the undivided attention of everyone within earshot. At the side of the room, I noticed Cam and his fellow semifinalists step into the room and lean against the wall. “I know I speak on behalf of both Eric Sapp and Bryce Shaw when I say the support you’ve all shown over the past few weeks has been incomprehensible. “When Eric first mentioned

opening a new and improved center to help Milwaukee’s homeless LGBT population, I think we were all worried about how it would be received,” he admitted. That drew more than a few murmurs, both of agreement and dissent. “While it’s true that Eric and I have both faced challenges in our lives and have hid at the back of the closet so we could have what we wanted most, the past two months have taught both of us just how easy we’ve had it. “Rather than sit here and tell you why your donations mean so much and

try to express my appreciation that you all came together with such short notice, I’d like to introduce another man who’s become very important in our lives. To me, he’s the little brother I always begged my parents for and never got.” The crowd bustled with laughter and quickly quieted again. “But he’s more than that. In a way, Cody Marshall is the reason you’re all gathered here tonight. You see, when I was recovering from everything that happened to me last fall, Bryce and Eric shoved me out of the house. Bryce told me about this student

athlete who’d have an amazing future, if only he had someone to push him to succeed.” I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. As Drew continued sharing bits and pieces of Cody’s story, I noticed I wasn’t alone in trying to keep hold of my emotions. More than a few women reached for napkins to blot their teary eyes and even some of the men had to clear their throats so they could breathe. Then it hit me. The majority of the men in the room were either baseball players Eric and Drew had met along the

way or they were somehow connected to the sport. They lived and died by the game, and Drew made them see something many of them hadn’t considered before. He asked them to imagine what it would have been like to be forced out of doing something they loved, simply because of who they were. As he continued speaking, he made them consider what life would have been like if their passion had been ripped away. He made what Cody, what every gay athlete faced, very, very real. The room erupted into applause

as Drew pulled Cody in front of the microphone. He seemed shell-shocked, standing up there with so many eyes focused on him, waiting to hear what he had to say. “Thanks, Drew.” He’d been standing too close to the microphone and another shrill screech of feedback echoed through the room. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes, likely trying to figure out what he wanted to say. When he opened his eyes and looked out over the crowd again, it was as though he’d just realized how many

professional athletes were sharing this moment. He looked to Drew. “Wow, I need you to come over here and pinch me.” “This is no dream, kid, it’s your life!” someone yelled from the back of the room, causing everyone to break down into laughter once again. When it didn’t die off as quickly as it had when Drew was speaking, Drew shoved his fingers into the corners of his mouth and whistled loud enough they likely heard it in Chicago. “Yeah, tell me that a thousand

times and I still won’t believe you,” Cody called back. He scrubbed his hands through his hair, leaving him looking slightly disheveled, exactly the way a teen who had it all should look. And compared to the beginning of fall, he did. He had parental figures who pushed him to be his best even when that wasn’t the same as being the best. He lived in a huge house on Lake Michigan rather than a crappy cot at Pot of Gold. He was on the honor roll and had signed his letter of acceptance to Marquette so he could stay close to

home. Cody had been upset about wasting Drew’s time to guarantee his scholarship in Minnesota, but I think everyone was happier knowing he wasn’t running out of state for school. “Drew asked me if I’d mind getting up here to share my story,” Cody let everyone know once it quieted down. “The truth is, I was your all-American kid. I grew up in an upper-class family and my parents were willing to do anything to support my dream of playing basketball. Unfortunately, there were strings attached. Big, heavy strings. I had

to stay the epitome of all the stereotypes. When my dad asked me why I wasn’t getting into trouble with one of the cheerleaders, I always told him I was trying to keep my grades up so I had my choice of where I wanted to go to college. “Unfortunately, the truth came out at the beginning of the second semester of my junior year. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say I’d finally found someone who understood me. Who liked me just the way I was.” Even from a distance, I could see the subtle sadness

overcoming Cody. He hadn’t talked much about the day everyone found out he was gay, but it seemed there was more to it than any of us, except possibly Drew, realized. “We let our guard down one day after school and our coach happened to walk in. No matter how much we pleaded with him, he said he had to tell our parents.” Murmurs built around the room. That delighted me, not because of Cody’s pain, but because everyone here seemed outraged by what they knew was coming.

“When I got home, my Dad met me at the front door with one duffel bag,” he shared. “I wasn’t even allowed to set foot inside the house. I was called a disgrace and told I was dead to them. Even then, I’d convinced myself it’d be okay because Jeff’s parents were much more accepting than my own. “Unfortunately, when they’d confronted him, he played it off as a misunderstanding and swore that I’d instigated everything. His father wasn’t upset that I was gay, only that I’d tried to coerce Jeff into doing something he

didn’t want to do. And that’s when I hit rock bottom.” He took a step back from the podium and Drew was instantly at his side with an arm draped over his shoulder. Drew whispered something to him and Cody nodded. Drew stepped back at the same time Cody moved back to the podium. “I’d lost everything. I had no home, no family, my boyfriend had denied the love he swore he felt for me. It felt like the end of the line,” Cody continued. I couldn’t begin to imagine

how painful that was. “I dropped out of school rather than face everyone. I gave up. And I spent the next few months wondering where my next meal would come from, what was to become of me, and sometimes, whether I’d live through to see the next day. But then, something amazing happened…” He paused, whether for dramatic effect or because of how hard the story was to tell, and then continued. “One morning, I woke up and there was a guy standing above me. Okay, so at first I was scared shitless, but then he handed

me a paper sack. Inside, there was a sandwich, a bag of chips, an apple, a banana, and a bottle of water. There was also a note. It said ‘There’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.’ and it had the address for the center where I met Bryce and Drew. “That day changed my life. I was terrified when I walked inside, thinking I’d face the same judgment I’d been running from. Then, the guy at the front desk welcomed me and invited me to eat lunch with him. That night, I slept in a real bed and didn’t have to worry about

my bag being gone when I woke up.” This was the type of marketing you couldn’t pay for. Cody was raw and real, and everyone in the room felt his pain as if it were their own. “In a single word, that center became my hope. It became a symbol of everything I’d forgotten I wanted. And I thought I’d stay there until I left for college. That’s what I’d been told.” Cody shrugged. “But just like the time before, that hope was yanked away from me one Monday morning. I felt myself spiraling downward, but this time, I picked up the

phone and called Drew. By the time we got home from him picking me up at school that day, all of this had been started. And for once, I know that I have two things everyone wants in life: security and hope.” My fingers dug into Eric’s forearm. He looked over to me and I could see his eyes glistening. “That’s it,” I whispered to him. “What are you talking about?” He responded. A few people glanced in our direction but quickly turned back to Cody.

“Secured Hope.” Two simple words that changed everything. It was what everyone who walked through the doors needed. They needed security and hope in an uncertain world. “You’re right, it’s perfect,” Eric agreed. He took my hand and led me toward the edge of the room, where Drew and Cody were swarmed by people wanting to talk to him about his experience. I nodded to Drew, letting him know that we were headed outside. “So tell me, did you ever think this is what would have come from your first

trip out here?” “No, but I’m not surprised,” I admitted. “My mom always told me there was strength in numbers, I just didn’t realize how true that was.” “Come on, let’s go home,” Eric said, reaching for the keys in his pocket. “You can text them on the way, maybe see if Cody would like to go to the hotel with Drew’s parents for the night.” “I like the way you think.” I let Eric lead me down the street to where he’d parked. Milwaukee wasn’t a homerun for me, it was more of a grand

slam.

Epilogue Spring training wasn’t as awful as I expected it to be. If anyone other than Mark held a grudge about the last game of the playoffs, they didn’t show it. In fact, life was pretty damn good. Tonight, everyone was coming to our place for a bit of a celebration. Secured Hope had opened the week we had to report to Arizona, so there hadn’t been time to party then. Plus, our report day happened to be the

day after the live finale of A Cut Above. While we’d partied as hard as we dared after watching Cam win the entire fucking show, he hadn’t been there with us. But he would be tonight. It was also Asher’s birthday. The little shit was giving new meaning to the term terrible twos. I tried telling Sean that was the result of spending too much time at home with Mason. And as if all that wasn’t enough to celebrate, Cody had called me a few days ago to let me know he’d secured yet another scholarship. I’d told him he

didn’t need to stress, that we’d cover whatever he wasn’t awarded, but he was determined to make it on his own. He’d even gotten a job at the clubhouse so he had his own money. I couldn’t have been prouder of him if he’d been my own flesh and blood. “Hey, Jackson!” Jason yelled across the locker room. “Cam just texted and asked when we’d be out of here. You about ready?” Hell yes. Eric and Bryce had caught a later flight than I’d have liked so Cody wouldn’t miss an important test

at school. All of our lives now seemed to revolve around the schedule of an eighteen-year-old kid, but that was okay. “Yeah, just give me a minute.” As I leaned over to shove a few last things into my duffel bag, someone rammed into my side, knocking me off balance. “Fucking fairies everywhere around here now,” Mark bitched. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, remembering what Sean had told me about not antagonizing him. If I ignored it, maybe it’d go away. Besides, I’d

probably still be pissed if our roles had been reversed and I cost him the game. “I heard the office is working with Disney to see if they can change the mascot to Tinkerbell wearing a motherfucking cowboy hat.” “Let it fucking go, man,” Riley Anderson scolded him. He pointed directly at me. “That man has done more for this team than you ever will. The only reason you’re still here is because your contract hasn’t expired and the suits can’t pay another team to take your sorry ass. I like pussy just as much as most of

the guys in here, but there’s only one dick I can’t stand. And that’s you.” The entire room fell silent while Riley went off on Mark. Slowly, a few of them started mumbling encouragement to Riley and a few hurled insults of their own to Mark. He shrank back and gathered his shit as quick as he could. I noticed one of the rookies hanging back, away from the altercation. Today was his first day working out with the Mavericks and we’d made a really shitty first impression. Not only that, but he had the potential to fuck us all. His

dad was a fucking legend, someone we all dreamed of as starry eyed kids hoping to make it to the big leagues someday. “Hey Stone, you coming over tonight?” The kid looked up at me and his eyes were so wide I thought they were going to pop out of his head. “Me?” He pointed at his own chest. I rolled my eyes. It was hard to believe it’d only been two years ago that I’d been in his shoes. “Yeah, you. Get your shit together and meet me outside.

Unless you’d rather head back to your hotel room and veg in front of the TV all night.” That sparked the rookie pitcher into action. He damn near stumbled over his feet trying to get to the door. “Thanks, man. Sorry, but I’m not used to guys treating me normal. They find out who my old man is and either try to crawl up my ass to get closer to him or they steer clear, figuring I’m his little snitch.” I eyed him warily, mostly to give him a hard time. “You’re not, are you?”

“Fuck no!” he answered bitterly. I couldn’t imagine how tough it was to be him. “Good, because I have to warn you, you may see some crazy shit tonight.” That was an understatement with our crew. “I’d hate to have you texting him pictures of what we do in our downtime.” “Even if I was a snitch, it wouldn’t be you guys I’d rat out,” he told me, glaring toward where Mark had been dressed down in front of everyone. “Why do you put up with that shit? The

league has policies to prevent that.” “Yeah, but eventually you’ll learn that some things work better on paper than they do in reality,” I informed him. “The league has come a long way and Stu is good about keeping the bullshit to a minimum, but it takes time to make real change.” “You don’t have to tell me.” I took a good look at the kid, Nick, I think Stu said was his name. He didn’t look to be much older than Cody. His troubles may not be the same, but there was definitely pain lying just beneath the

surface. “Come on, there’s someone you need to meet.” I draped my arm over his shoulder and led him toward the employee entrance. Whatever was going on in that kid’s mind, I silently vowed to make sure his problems didn’t become all of ours.

Note from the Author Sign up to receive exclusive content and advanced notice of upcoming releases: http://bit.ly/sloansnewsletter Visit me at my website: http://authorsloanj.com If you enjoyed Triple Play, I would love it if you let your friends know so they can experience the relationship of Drew, Eric, and Bryce as well! As with all of my books, I have enabled lending on all platforms in which it is allowed to make it easy to share with a friend. If you leave a review for Triple Play on the site from which you purchased the book, Goodreads or your own blog, I would love to read it! Email me the link at [email protected] and I will be sure

to get in touch with you to thank you! Other titles by Sloan Johnson: Unexpected Angel Unexpected Protector Unexpected Consequences Truth or Dare Dare to Dream Fragile Bonds Teach Me Dance With Destiny Godsend Wild Pitch Curve Ball

About the Author Sloan Johnson is a big city girl trapped in a country girl’s life. While she longs for the hustle and bustle of New York City or Las Vegas, she hasn’t yet figured out how to sit on the deck with her morning coffee, watching the deer and wild turkeys in the fields while surrounded by concrete and glass. When she was three, her parents received their first call from the principal asking them to pick her up from school. Apparently, if you aren’t

enrolled, you can’t attend classes, even in Kindergarten. The next week, she was in preschool and started plotting her first story soon after. Later in life, her parents needed to do something to help their socially awkward, uncoordinated child come out of her shell and figured there was no better place than a bar on Wednesday nights. It’s a good thing they did because this is where she found her love of reading and writing. Who needs socialization when you can sit alone in your bedroom with a good book?

Now, Sloan is a tattooed mom with a mohawk and two kids. She’s been kicked out of the PTA in two school districts and is no longer asked to help with fundraisers because she’s been known to lose herself with a good book and forget she has somewhere to be.