(Jokers Wrath MC Next Generation #1 Bestie ) - Bella Jewel

Bestie Jokers' Wrath MC Bella Jewel

Published by Bella Jewel, 2016.

BESTIE By Bella Jewel Copyright 2016

~*BESTIE*~ All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author ’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author. BESTIE Copyright © 2016 Bella Jewel BESTIE is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author ’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS DEDICATION PROLOGUE CHAPTER 1 TWO WEEKS LATER CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15 CHAPTER 16 CHAPTER 17 CHAPTER 18 CHAPTER 19 CHAPTER 20 CHAPTER 21 CHAPTER 22 CHAPTER 23 CHAPTER 24 CHAPTER 25 CHAPTER 26 EPILOGUE THE END

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS As always, my heartfelt thanks to every single blogger, reader and author that has supported my journey. From reading my books, to sharing them, to raving about them, to being there for me. Thank you. My career would be nothing without any of you. A huge thanks to Kylie from Give Me Books for organizing my reveals and blitzes. You do such an amazing job. No matter how many times I use you, I am always blown away by how efficient you are. Nothing is ever a drama. Thank you for giving me so much support. A massive thanks to Ben Ellis from BE Designs for this gorgeous cover. Not only did you come in at the last minute, you did an absolutely incredible job. I honestly have no words to explain how grateful I am to you for all the help you put in. I’m forever in your debt. A big, heartfelt thanks to Ready, Set, Edit for doing this book for me at the last moment. I really appreciate the time you took to help me out, and how patient you were when my kids weren’t well!! Thank you so much, lovely. And of course, to my admin, MJ, for ALWAYS keeping my page running beautifully. I couldn’t do it without you, girly. I love your teasers and your passion; thank you for taking the time out of your life to help this poor girl keep everything running. And, last but certainly not least, to my loyal readers. To each and every one of you that picks up my books and give me a chance. To the reviews you write, good or bad. To the time you take to make me a better person. You make this real for me; never stop giving such love and passion. You make our journey so amazing.

DEDICATION To the universe. Thanks for coming through for me. To Matty. Thanks for always making me laugh. But mostly, to Bestie. Thanks for saving me. **A note to readers** As some of you may know, Bestie has elements of a real story. I met my Bestie during a very difficult time in my life, and he saved me—cliché, I know, but it is the absolute truth. He taught me a lot about myself. He helped me be a better person. He held me up so many times when I thought I would fall. He showed me there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t have gotten through this year without him. Bestie was, at times, a difficult book to write. It took me on highs and lows, it made me question myself, it made me wonder if I was doing the right thing. Sometimes, I hated it. Sometimes, I loved it. See, I’ve never written a book so close to my life and my heart. I’ve never written scenes that are so real I could see them playing out in my head as I worked. I’ve never given such a real part of myself to any book, or any piece of writing, in my entire career. Some of you will love it, some of you will hate it; that’s the beautiful part of being a reader. But I want you to know, that to me, this book is the world, and I’m so glad you all get the opportunity to share this journey with me, and of course, Bestie. Love and hugs always, Bella xx

PROLOGUE The universe works in mysterious ways. We’re told this every time something bad happens. Like it’s supposed to make us feel better. Like it’s supposed to give us hope that things will be OK. Like it’s supposed to just fix everything. I didn’t believe in that statement. If that statement were true, we’d never hurt. People wouldn’t suffer. They wouldn’t hit rock bottom. They wouldn’t drown. But they do. They hurt and they bleed. They stagger through each breath, wondering how in the hell they’re going to make it through the next day. That was me. Broken. Struggling to breathe. Putting one foot in front of the other, trying to get through each day, wondering if it was ever going to get better. Not believing in the damned universe or anything else. Pain. It’s so real. So incredibly real. You know what’s worse? Heartbreak. The soul-crushing, stomach twisting agony that comes with having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on. I was heartbroken. That’s when the statement finally came true and the universe stepped in. It stepped in, and it gave me him. Out of the blue. Like it knew I was in my final moment. Like it knew I just couldn’t force myself to push through another day. Like it just knew it was finally time for me to learn how to breathe again. I wasn’t alone. He was broken too. So incredibly broken. It picked us and threw us together. It made our worlds collide. It blended us. It knew, even when we didn’t, that we would fix the broken pieces of each other. That we would stitch them back together, even if our hands were shaking, even if our bodies were tired, even if our hearts had given up. It knew. Even before we knew. We needed each other.

CHAPTER 1 I blink. Then blink again. I stare down at the message on the phone, completely and utterly numb. There is no way, no way after everything we’ve been through together, that he actually just said those words to me. It can’t be right. He’s supposed to love me. He’s supposed to care. How can someone just turn their emotions off overnight? How can someone just stop loving you? Was I stupid? Was I that damned blind that I honestly didn’t see the writing on the wall? My heart does an angry twist, and my stomach drops. Then there’s my skin: I hate the way it tingles as everything in my body seems to slowly but surely shut down. My vision blurs as I read the text message again and again. I’m sitting on the ground, knees to my chest, wondering what the hell is happening. I don’t understand. I just don’t. M – Just keep positive. It’ll get better. You’ll have good and bad days. Be strong. Keep positive? Be strong? He broke my heart, but I thought there was hope. I thought he needed just a few days. Just a few damned days. I didn’t think he meant it. Until those days passed by and he still hadn’t contacted me. I made the fatal mistake of sending him a message. How could I be so stupid as to believe he just needed space? What he needed was to move on. What he needed was to be with anyone else but me. Did I do something wrong? It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. A strangled sob is ripped from my throat, and I hug my knees together to my chest, unable to breathe through the grappling pain taking hold of my chest, of my entire body. How could he do this to me? Why was I not enough? I don’t realise I’m wailing until the angry, broken sound is all I can hear in the quiet space of my apartment. How could he? What is wrong with me? My body trembles, and I hug my knees so tight my chest feels like it’s going to collapse in. I don’t know how people survive this. I don’t know how they get through. How does anyone push past this ... this ... agony? I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone the way I loved him. He was everything to me. I believed in what we had. I believed in him. I hiccup and start crying harder. Tears roll down my cheeks and run down my arms, but I do nothing to stop them. The intense pain in my chest expands until it feels like I can’t breathe through it. Until it feels like I’d sooner pass out than make it to my next breath. I drop my head into my knees and make a loud, keening sound. Crying like this, it’s hideous, and it sounds terrible, but I can’t stop the pained cries from slipping past my lips. “Molly?” I flinch at the sound of my sister ’s voice. I lift my head and through blurred tears see her standing at the door, a brown paper bag in her hands. She drops the bag the second she sees me and comes

running, dropping to her knees in front of me. She wraps her arms around me, and I can’t hold back. I cry with everything I am. I cry with everything that’s left. I cry with a broken, empty heart. “It’s going to be okay,” Matilda soothes. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through.” It won’t be okay. She doesn’t understand. I loved him. “H-h-h-h-he ...” “I know,” she soothes. “Shhh. It’s going to be okay.” “I-I-I loved him.” “Oh, honey.” She holds me there, on the floor, until I stop crying. Then she keeps holding me until my eyes stop burning. She holds me until my heart goes numb. I don’t think I’ll ever get past this. ~*~*~*~

TWO WEEKS LATER I push myself to move down the sidewalk, my legs numb and heavy. I feel like a zombie, walking around aimlessly. I’m lost. I’m heartbroken. Michael broke my soul into a thousand pieces, and then just disappeared. Who does that? Who hurts someone so immensely and then just walks away as if they’ve done nothing wrong? As if they haven’t just taken someone’s heart in their hands and jerked it out of their chest? Like they haven’t taken someone’s very reason to breathe and just crushed it? “Molly?” I stop mid-stride and turn to see a man walking towards me. I know him, not well, but I’ve met him before through a mutual friend a couple of times. Roman. That’s his name, if I recall correctly. We’ve only ever had brief conversations, but he always seemed like a really nice guy. I’ve seen him a few times around town, and he always waves. As he nears, I study him and try to force a smile onto my face. It’s hard, because I could swear my knees are shaking from my internal struggle. He stops in front of me, and I tip my head back and look up. Was he this tall before? I don’t remember? He’s got to be six feet, possibly taller. “Hey,” I say softly, taking him in. “Long time no see.” He’s a good looking man, there’s absolutely no doubt about it. He has a tall, dark, and handsome thing going on. The complete opposite of Michael. Roman’s hair is thick, dark, and cropped fairly short on his head, but still long enough that you could grab hold of it. He has these incredible eyes—I noticed them when I first met him. They stood out. They’re beautiful. Brown and framed with thick lashes. He looks like he has Italian in him, maybe Maltese. Whatever it is shines through strong. He’s a looker. He also smells amazing. I don’t know why I notice that, but he does. Some men have unique smells, he’s one of them. It’s hard to stand next to him and not notice how he smells. “I thought it was you,” he says. His voice is sexy, not too deep, but smooth and masculine. “How are you?” I blink, and then smile. “I’m okay. How are you?” His eyes to flash with a familiar kind of pain. It seems familiar because I’ve seen the same pain flash in my eyes when I look into the mirror. “I’m okay,” he says, shifting slightly. “How’s everything been going? Are you still working down at the local restaurant?” I nod. “Yeah, still working there while I study. How about you?” “Yeah, still working away.” His brown eyes scan over my face and something passes over me. Comfort, maybe. I’m not sure. There’s something about him. Something warm. Something good. It radiates off of him. Sometimes you meet people like that, people that make you feel instantly good and you can’t figure out why. He’s one of those people. “That sucks,” I say. “You should come past the restaurant sometime. We’ll catch up.” He smiles. Dimples. Hot. “Yeah, sounds good. Here’s my number, just give me a text. It was good to see you, Molly. It’ll be good to catch up.”

I programme his number into my phone and I give him mine. Then I give him the best smile I can muster up. “You, too. Talk soon?” He nods, studies me once more, and then disappears down the sidewalk. I watch him go and then stare down at my phone where his number is displayed on my screen. So very random. I shrug and tuck my phone away then continue my quest to the store. Eating my feelings away is probably not the wisest idea, but it’s the only one I have right now. I duck in and get what I need, then I carry it quickly back to my car and slide in the passenger seat. I glance at my phone again. Nothing from Michael. Not a call. Not a text. Nothing. It’s as if he just forgot about me. It’s as if he just decided he was done and that’s that. He can’t even call. Not even just to ask if I’m okay. Is it really that hard to check on someone? Is he really that terrible? Anger bubbles in my chest, and I start the drive back to my apartment. It’s on the outskirts of town. My dad got it for me when I wanted to move out. He made sure it was near him so he could keep an eye on me. There are only a handful of houses out there, maybe ten or so, and they’re all spread out. It’s a really nice area, quiet and comfortable. As I’m nearing my place, I see Roman getting out of his car and walking towards the front door of a house just up the road from mine. I smile and shake my head. I can’t believe he lives that close and I never saw him before. Was I that distracted? When I pull into my driveway, I pull out my phone and hesitate. Should I send him a message? Yeah. I totally should. I’m sure he’ll find the funny side. M – I didn’t know you lived on Bates road! I live on Sheridan road, just around the corner. We’re practically neighbours. M – P.S I just saw you, I’m totally not stalking you! My stomach does a little twist. What if he thinks I’m a total weirdo for sending a random message like that? My phone chirps in my hand before I get the chance to think too much about it. I glance down and read the message from Roman. R – Yeah. I’ve seen you drive past a few times, when I’m mowing my lawn. I wave but you don’t see me! Oh, my god. I laugh softly and respond. M – Oh! I didn’t see you! Haha. R – Lol. Yeah. I’ve seen you a few times now. I shake my head with a smile and climb out of the car, taking my groceries and moving into my apartment. My phone beeps just as I place them on the counter and I glance down at the screen again. There is a picture of a hand holding a beer. I laugh and reply. M – Hard afternoon? R – Someone has to do it. Been working all week, I’ve been wanting to get home just for this! M – I suppose it’s good it’s you then. I wish I could have a beer. R – Why don’t you? I put my groceries away and frown. Probably because my entire family exists of rowdy bikers, considering my father is the President of the Jokers Wrath Motorcycle Club. I spend most of my time with my sister and all my other friends from the club, but outside of it, I don’t really have any friends. Michael was my only friend, and then I made the mistake of falling in love with him. M – I don’t really have any friends that will drink with me  I think I need a new friend! R – You looking for a Bestie? So you can have someone to drink with? I giggle, and a happy feeling washes over my chest. A feeling I haven’t had in the last few weeks. A feeling I honestly thought I’d never feel again. It’s a lightness. An easing of the heavy ache in my chest. I don’t really know this man, but he’s making me smile, and right now, I’ll take anything that makes me feel better.

M – Why are you offering? R – Yep. Lol. I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. A stranger just offered to be my new best friend. It’s so completely irrational that it almost seems normal. I type out a response with a massive smile on my face. M – There are some things you need to know about me, if you’re going to be my new Bestie. I’m quarter crazy, quarter deviot, quarter alcoholic and quarter feral. My grin gets bigger when he responds. R – I can handle that. But you should know, I’m 100% cunt, if you’re okay with that, then I guess we just became best friends. Laughter escapes, and I quickly respond. M – I can deal with that. P.S I’m quite talented, also. One time, I tried to build a fire by rubbing sticks together. It’s my life goal to make that happen. R – Lol! Well, next time you try that, I’ll do the world a favour and bring you a lighter. M – Gasp! Already you don’t trust my skills. You’re not doing well as a Bestie. R – I don’t want you to embarrass yourself in front of your new Bestie. I snort and giggle. M – I’m not ashamed of who I am :-P I put my phone down and unpack my groceries, feeling light. I laugh randomly as I put them away, wondering why this man popped up, today of all days, during a time where I honestly wondered how I could go on. Is the universe trying to tell me something? “Mol!” I turn and see Matilda, my gorgeous, rowdy, somewhat frustrating sister bouncing in. She’s younger than me, but not by much. She takes after our mother, Santana, with her dark hair and eyes. I’m all my dad, with lighter eyes and brown hair. Though, recently, I decided to turn it blonde, I’m still not sure if I love it, but everyone says it suits me. Mostly, it was to be different. Anything to try and move on. “Hey, sis,” I say, shutting the fridge door. “How are you?” She skips in, stopping at my counter. “I’m good. How are you? Are you feeling better?” I shrug. “I still haven’t heard from him.” She shakes her head in disgust. “What a dick. He is such a pig.” My chest clenches, because she’s right and yet, I know, if he popped up tomorrow I’d still probably forgive him. Love is an asshole like that. Sometimes people can do horrible things to you, and you would still be willing to overlook it if you could just have them in your life once more. Michael and I started out as friends. We had a good friendship, funny, casual, easy going. Then one night, something just shifted between us, and for months we ignored it. One night, we stopped ignoring it and took it that step further. It was wonderful, at least, I thought it was. Until...well, it wasn’t. I force a shaky laugh. “Yeah. Funniest thing happened today, though. I think I made a new best friend.” She puts her chin in her hands and leans forward. “Do share.” Is this going to sound weird? Probably, but it is a cool enough story to share. “It’s a guy I’ve met a couple of times. I ran into him today, and it turns out he doesn’t live that far away from me. We exchanged numbers, and we were chatting away when we decided to become best friends. It was hilarious, if you look at it the right way.” She giggles. “That’s creepy, but totally funny. Is he good looking?”

I roll my eyes. “My god. Only you.” “Well, is he?” I nod. “Yeah, he is actually. Total spunk.” She grins and wiggles her brows. I shoot her a look. “Well,” she says, smothering a grin. “I’m glad you made a new friend. You need it. There is only so much of the club members you can handle.” There are a good deal of kids I grew up with in the club, and we’re all incredibly close now, but sometimes I feel like we’re too close. There is a lot I won’t tell them. Having someone else might be a good thing. It might be exactly what I need. Sometimes having someone who knows nothing about you, starting on a clean slate, is the best way to go. “Yeah, I agree. What’re you up to anyway?” “I was just passing by on my way to the club to see Dad. You want to come?” I shake my head. “I have an entire tub of Ben and Jerry’s to devour. But I’ll come down tomorrow.” She nods. “Okay. Say hi to your new Bestie from me!” I laugh, shaking my head. Still shocked. “Later.” When she’s gone, I pick up my phone and glance down. Still no messages from Michael, but there is more from Roman. I open them quickly, reading them. R – What are you up to, Bestie? M – I’m eating my weight in ice cream. What about you? R – My neighbour is playing some really cool music, so I’m getting a free show while I drink my beer. M – Nice! As long as Taylor Swift isn’t playing, we’re good. R – Nothing wrong with Taylor. I mean, she did write Wildest Dreams after me. I giggle. M – Omg. The fact that you know the name of that song makes me question you. R – Ha ha! Taylor has a song for everyone. M – You’re right about that. If you’ve had a breakup, Taylor has a song for you. If you’re falling in love, that’s right, Taylor has one. If you have haters, don’t worry, Taylor has you covered. R – Haha, you crazy woman! M – I warned you, I’m totally crazy. You should be careful. R – I like a challenge! Besides, you seem like a nice girl. M – Believe me, I’m totally not. R – Hahaha! I flop down onto my couch and put my leg up on the back, typing out a response. M – There’s no girlfriend that is going to hunt me down for talking to you, is there? I hit send and then wonder if that’s too forward. Will he think I’m hitting on him? Because I’m not. I just know how fragile some girls can get about these things. I know myself if I had a boyfriend going around asking random females to be best friends I’d be questioning him. I chew my nails as I wait for his response. R – Na. We broke up a few months ago. My heart sinks for him. That would explain the sad look on his face earlier. That would explain why I can see the same pain in his eyes that I see in my own. It makes me wonder even more if we were meant to meet each other, that seems like too big a coincidence that we’re both suffering over the same thing.

M – I’m really sorry. I guess we’re meant to be friends then. Want to know why? R – Why? M – I have a broken heart, too. R – Shit. That sucks. M – I think the universe just might want us to be friends. R – Yeah. I think so. Either that or you’re crazy. I haven’t decided yet! My heart feels lighter already. I wonder if the universe did indeed hand me him when it knew I couldn’t go on. The timing is just too perfect.

CHAPTER 2 “Baby girl.” I look up from the padlock on the Jokers’ Wrath compound and smile to see my dad walking towards me. He’s big, he’s scary, and he’s deadly. But to me, he’s just a giant teddy bear. Though, I’d never tell him that. He’d probably cut me. He’s been President of the club my entire life, and he’s damned good at it. It was always nice, growing up and knowing he had your back. One thing was for sure, none of us ever got bullied at school. “Hi, Daddy.” I smile, taking a step forward and falling into his arms. I turn instinctively and breathe him in, taking in his scent and letting it wash over me. Leather, mostly. And my dad. Always my dad. His smell is my comfort. I hug him tighter before pulling back and looking up at him. “How are you?” he asks, studying my face. Can he see the pain in my eyes? He didn’t meet Michael, but he knows about him. They’ve all met him before, when we were friends. We kept it quiet for a while when we first started sleeping together, but after he disappeared on me, it didn’t take long for news to travel that we’d been together for a while. “I’m okay.” That’s a lie. Last night was a horrible night. I sat up with a heavy, sinking feeling in my chest and tried to call Michael over and over. I’m ashamed that I got to that point, but my desperation and heartache is finally blending and getting a little confusing for me. I just want answers. I don’t understand how someone can just switch off like that. “You know I don’t like it when you lie to me,” Dad says, taking my chin in his hand and tilting my head back. “Need me to go kill that little fuck?” I laugh and roll my eyes. “Thanks, but no thanks. I can handle this one.” He grunts. I hug him again. “Seriously, I’m okay.” “Don’t like seeing my girl upset over some whiny, pathetic, fuckin’ ...” “Dad.” I giggle, shaking my head. “Seriously. I’m okay.” He stares at me, then nods and steps back. “Go inside, your momma has been missin’ you.” “Okay,” I say softly, disappearing into the shed situated on the compound. “My baby!” my mom cries the second I step through the door. My mother is a spitting image of Pocahontas, seriously. The resemblance is uncanny. All that dark hair, those almond shaped brown eyes, that skin that’s so soft and olive. If they ever made the cartoon into a movie, my mom would totally fit the part. She’s gorgeous. Age does nothing but make her even more stunning. “Mom.” I smile when she hits me and throws her arms around me, causing me to take a step back. “I haven’t seen you for a week! Where have you been? Matilda told me you were okay, but your sister would tell me you were alive if you were dead. Hell, she’d bury your body and stuff your bed with fake pillows and have me believe you were sleeping.” I chuckle.

Matilda would. She has my back, always. Plus, she’s slightly crazy, which is why I adore her. “I’ve just been busy, it’s fine. How are you?” She steps back and studies me the same way Dad did. I think she learned that from him. Her brown eyes narrow, and she says, “You’ve been upset.” “How can you possibly tell that?” “Because I can see it in your eyes, your momma knows. It’s my job.” “I’m fine, honestly.” She huffs. “You know I’m here if you need to talk.” I force a smile, because it’s getting harder and harder to keep a genuine one. “Of course. Is Jack around?” “He’s in the living room, driving everyone crazy.” I snort and move into the living room, looking for Jack. He’s the son of another member and his wife, Mack and Jaylah. He’s crazy, funny, and I enjoy hanging out with him. He’s guaranteed to always make me laugh. He has one of those personalities. I notice him as soon as I step into the living room. He’s standing against the bar, elbow on it, laughing hysterically about something with his older brother, Diesel. “Hey, guys.” Both of them stop and turn towards me. Diesel, who is Native American in looks, just like their dad Mack, studies me. Then his brown eyes soften. “Hey, Mol,” he says, walking over and jerking me into his arms. “Long time no see. You good?” My God. These bloody bikers are so intuitive. “I’m fine, D. How are you? How’s Mercedes?” Diesel’s girlfriend is the daughter of a club member too, only she’s not in this club. It was a messy situation for a while, but the two clubs sorted it out and are now at peace with their relationship. “She’s good,” he says, letting me go. “How’re you?” “I just told you.” I grin and he narrows his eyes at me. Diesel is like his father. He’s broody, slightly arrogant, but his heart is bigger than any man I’ve met. He loves hard. He gives heaps. He’s an incredible person. He also notices everything. “And you lied.” I ignore that and turn to Jack. “Hey, bro.” He grins at me. “Yo, sista, how’s it going?” “Good. What’s happening?” “I’ll check you two later,” Diesel says, leaving the room. “Later!” we both call. Jack slides his backside onto the bar, and I leap up, sitting beside him. “Not much. I still haven’t heard from Michael since he broke up with me.” Jack is the only member of the club who knew Michael better than a few casual interactions. He hated him, of course. Warned me he was sketchy. I should have listened to him. Might have saved myself a world of heartbreak. “What a prick. Why didn’t you call me?” I shrug, crossing my legs. “I wasn’t dealing with it that well, to be honest.” “I’m sorry. That really sucks, Mols.” I force another smile. “Anyway, enough about me. Entertain me with one of your stories. Make me laugh. I need a distraction.” He grins. He’s the opposite of his brother, with lighter eyes, lighter hair and a leaner build, more like his mom, Jaylah. He’s incredibly good looking, though, and he has no problems with the ladies. None. At. All.

“I met this girl last night.” I roll my eyes. He thumps my arm. “What?” I laugh, putting my hands up. “You met a girl every night this week.” He grunts. “This one is different.” I raise my brows and cross my arms. “Uh huh. You said that about the last one.” He thumps me again. I giggle. He grins. “Seriously,” he continues. “She didn’t take any of my shit.” I feign a gasp. “No way. She didn’t take your shit? What’s wrong with her?” He flips me the bird. “I know. There must be something wrong with her though, right?” I nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, she probably has balls.” We both burst out laughing. “Probably. No other girls would ever give it to me the way she did when I tried to hit on her.” Good for her. I love girls like that. The ones that take no shit from people. Jack needs that kind of girl, because he never has to work for what he wants. It would do him good to have to put in a little bit of effort. Nothing like a good challenge to get the heart racing. “And you’re curious now, aren’t you?” I say, raising my brows. He nods. “Fuckin’ curious. She rejected me. I don’t get rejected.” “It’s always the ones that play hard to get.” I wink. “You’re in for a win. Keep chasing.” “I don’t chase,” he mutters. I slide off the bar and grin up at him. “’Bout time you learned.” He grins. God. What would I do without them? ~*~*~*~ I’m walking back to my car when my phone beeps with a message. I dig it out of my purse and glance down at the screen, wondering if it’s finally Michael messaging me. My heart sinks a little when I see it isn’t, but instantly lightens when I read the message on the screen from Roman. R – What’s doing, my child? I laugh at his words and respond. M – Not much. Just brushing up on all my stalking skills. What about you? R – Haha! Just gathered all my ex’s stuff and posted it back to her. My heart breaks for him, and I wonder what happened between the two of them. I wonder if she ended it, or he ended it? By the pained look in his eyes, I’m guessing it was her, because usually the person struggling that much is the one who has been left behind. I should know. M – Oh I’m sorry. That would have sucked. R – Yeah. Cost me fifty bucks to send it back, too. I threw a heap of it away, it was therapeutic. I think. M – Yuck! That’s the worst but I agree, therapeutic for sure! R – Yep. How are you? M – I’m okay. Getting there. R – Tell Bestie all about it.

I giggle and climb into my car. How is is possible that someone can be a stranger one day and your best friend the very next? He could be a serial killer, for all I know. This could be his game. I snort to myself. No. There is something about him, something so incredibly real and true. I trust my gut instincts with everyone I meet, and my gut tells me that Roman is a good person. M – I’ll give you a call when I get home? R – Our friendship is going to the next level – phone calls. I’m a bit excited. I snort and shake my head, starting my car and heading down the road to my house. Once I’ve gotten inside, I get myself a beer and go and sit on my little patio. I stare down at my phone and my fingers tremble. Can I do this? Can I ring a stranger, someone who I don’t even know, and talk to him about my life? My phone rings before I can press the call button, and it’s a private number. I instantly reject it and go back to contemplating my phone call to Roman when a message comes through. R – I just tried to ring you. Oh! Oh, no. I rejected him. M – Ha ha. I didn’t know that was you. I figured it could have been a serial killer, didn’t want to take the risk. R – Ha! Call me. My fingers shake again as I pick up the phone and dial his number before I can think too much about it. He answers on the second ring. “Hey, Bestie.” A smile breaks out, and I can feel my grin, big and wide. I probably look stupid, but I can’t help it. It’s an automatic reaction when I talk to him. He has that kind of personality. It’s addictive. “Hey yourself,” I say nervously. “How are you?” “Good. You?” “Yeah, good. This is weird, right?” He laughs, and it’s a sexy sound. Smooth. Deep. Masculine. I flop down onto my couch and try to relax. Don’t be a weirdo, Molly. Just chill! “What? You stalking me until I became your best friend?” I can just picture him sitting there grinning over that statement. I laugh. “Oh, my god. I did not stalk you.” “I saw you outside my window earlier. Let’s not get too excited about this friendship. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice but I don’t need a crazy person chasing me down the street when I’m doing my shopping. You feel me?” My laughter gets louder and I shake my head. “You’re crazy.” He chuckles, sexy and low. “Yeah. I tried to warn you. It’s too late, you’re stuck with me now.” “God help me,” I mumble. He snorts. “So, tell me about this man that broke your heart.” “Ugh,” I say, huffing. “Total dickface.” He bursts into deep laughter. “Dickface. That’s fucking hilarious.” “Yep. When you’ve outdone yourself as a dick, you get upgraded to a dickface.” “Nice.” He laughs. “Tell me about dickface then.” I sigh. “A total jerk. We were really good friends, I fell in love with him, he broke my heart, you know the story. He hasn’t spoken to me much since, I think that’s the worst part, you know?” “Yeah,” he mumbles. “It’s fucked.” I sigh. “Yeah. He just decided it was over and that was that. It’s probably good, no contact, but it still hurts, you know?” “I hear you.”

“What about you?” I ask, rolling to my side and putting my phone on speaker so I can lay it on the couch beside me. “What happened with your ex?” “She left me a few months ago.” Poor guy. “Oh, true. What happened?” “Not really sure. She just ended it one day and then about a week later sent me a fucking text telling me she was seeing another guy.” “What!” I cry. “Oh, my god! Are you serious?” “Yep, right before I was about to start work, too.” What kind of piece of work does that to someone? Honestly? My heart breaks for him. I can’t imagine anything worse than having someone not only break your heart, but to tell you a measly week later that they’re seeing someone else. “That’s so terrible. I’m so sorry. Did she know you were at work?” “Yep, she knew. Who does that?” “Not a nice person,” I mutter. “That’s who. Do you still talk to her?” “Nah, not at the moment,” he says, and his voice sounds pained. “She blocked me.” She what? Oh. My. God. “You’re kidding, right?” I say, feeling so much for him. “Nope. I got a bit intense, I guess, trying to call her. So she blocked me. She doesn’t live here, so it wasn’t like I could just go and see her, you know? I wanted to talk to her. I wanted answers. That’s not so crazy, right?” “Not at all,” I say, feeling angry at this random woman for being such a cold-hearted person. “You have every right to want to talk with her. I can’t believe she blocked you.” “Yeah, she’s a bitch. Still, I love her, you know? I think that’s what makes me so angry at myself. Even after everything she’s done, if she called and wanted me back, I’d probably go.” I get that. It’s a sucky feeling to have, because you know deep down in your heart you’ll get hurt again and you deserve better, but your feelings are tricky things. “Yeah, I understand that.” “What about you? You in love with dickface still?” Some days, I don’t quite understand my feelings for Michael. Sometimes it feels like the pure kind of love, but others, it feels more like an attachment kind of love. One that isn’t as real as I think it is. How could it be? He gave up on us so easily, so was it ever based on the right kind of attraction? “I’m all over the place with it, to be honest. The funny thing is, I swear I didn’t think I could get through another day, I was so heartbroken, and then I started talking to you, and here we are.” He makes a low hmmmmm sound in his throat. “Yeah, I hear you. I’ve been having a hard time, too.” I hold his eyes and smile. “Maybe we’re meant to be besties then?” “Yeah. Maybe we are.” I can’t wipe the smile off my face. But mostly, I can’t believe that I’ve met someone who might not only help me, but is going through the same kind of pain I am. There is no way that’s a coincidence. No way. I think I was meant to meet Roman. I just don’t know why. Yet.

CHAPTER 3 My phone rings, stirring me from my sleep. I blink a few times and rub my eyes. I glance over at the clock. It’s midnight. Who would be ringing me at midnight? I roll over and pick up the phone to see Michael’s name flashing on the screen. My heart leaps into my throat and I pick it up. My fingers tremble as I answer it and press it to my ear. “Hey,” I say, my voice soft, yet shaky. I don’t know why Michael is finally calling. I don’t know if I’m angry, or relieved, or just glad to be hearing from him. Will this conversation make everything worse? Or is he calling to ask for me back? Do I even want him back? My mind spins as I wait for his voice to fill my ear. “Hey,” Michael says, his voice the same as it always was. Smooth, charming, masculine. “How are you?” What as stupid question to ask. I’ve thought about what I want to say to Michael a thousand times over, and not once did I think asking how he is would come out of my mouth. Lame. “I’m okay. How are you?” I roll to my back, not really sure what to say. He hasn’t spoken to me since he left, and now we’re here, talking. I’ve thought about this moment so many times. When I’m walking down the street, when I’m in the shower, when I’m in bed alone. I’ve gone over it in my head, plotting out the perfect thing to say. Only now that he’s on the phone and I have my chance to say it all, nothing is coming out. How do you explain to someone that they completely and utterly broke you? “You’ve been ignoring me.” That’s the best I’ve got. I don’t even have it in me to ask why, I can only state a fact. Michael sighs. That kind of frustrates me, but I don’t say anything about it. “Listen, we both needed time. You know this wasn’t going anywhere, and I had to do it. We can’t be together.” “Why?” I say, exasperated. “Because it’s just not a good time for me. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I thought you understood it was just ...” If he says sex. If he tells me I was just sex, I’m going to die a little more. “Don’t you say it,” I warn, my voice finding a hard tone, finally. He goes silent and I know that’s what he was about to say. “I thought we made it clear that’s all it could be.” “We spent seven months together, talking, bonding, laughing, having the time of our lives together. It wasn’t just sex. You know it wasn’t.” “It was always sexual,” he argues. “Half our conversations were sexual.” “So? Most couples sex talk, Michael. It’s not abnormal.” He goes silent. “It was more than that with you.” My heart thumps against my rib cage. I have a high sex drive. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I out do most men I meet, but I’ve never, not ever been slutty about it. I enjoy sex, I crave it on a higher scale than most women, but I am very selective about who I sleep with. I never thought it was a problem, not until now. Not until this very second.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snap, sitting up and pressing my back against the headboard. “You and I both know it was about sex for you, more than it was for me. God, we talked about it all the time. It’s all we talked about sometimes.” “You hardly discouraged it, Michael,” I argue, feeling my chest tighten. Is he right? Was it too much? Am I too much? “You were awfully eager to play along.” He snorts. “I’m a man, of course I was.” That hits me like a hammer to the chest. “We might have talked about sex a lot,” I say, my voice growing hurt, “but we shared so much, too. We were close. You can’t deny that.” “Honestly,” he says, “I think you would have allowed that with any man that was giving you what you needed.” That hits me so hard, I’m left speechless. Is he saying that it wouldn’t matter who I was with, or what they were saying, that I’d go along with it so long as sex was involved? Does he see me as that shallow? Am I that shallow? My heart twists in the most painful way, and shame washes over me. I thought I gave a huge piece of myself to Michael, I honestly thought I opened myself in a way I hadn’t before. Is that all he saw? Is that all I put across? “I can’t believe you’d say that,” I snap, self-defence mode kicking in. “After everything, I can’t believe you could honestly say that about what we shared. What the hell is wrong with you?” “Don’t blame this on me, Molly. I’m just being honest with you.” “I loved you!” I scream so loudly I scare even myself. “You stupid, stupid piece of shit. I loved you. I meant that. I thought what we shared was real.” “I loved you, too, but we both know it couldn’t work.” “You’re a selfish, terrible person, Michael. Maybe you did me a favour after all.” I end the call and throw my phone across the room, sobbing angrily. I’m a lot of things, I know this, but I’m not a slut and I’m not easy. I love sex, but I also love with everything I am. I was raised to give it all. I gave it all to Michael. At least, I thought I did. I thought he felt it. I thought it mattered. But I was nothing more than a bit of entertainment until he was able to move on and find someone else. Pig. Fucking jerk. I turn to my side and pull my blankets up, and then I let the tears come. Sometimes, it feels like all I do is cry lately. Angry, raw, broken tears that don’t seem to ease the ache in my heart, no matter how much they fall. Crying is supposed to ease the pain inside, but it seems it just keeps building and building. The worst is the feeling of desperation, that one that claws at your chest and makes you feel worthless, it makes you want to lower yourself to begging, it makes you want to be that person that clings on, even when all hope is lost. I’m not that girl, dammit. I soak my pillow with tears and close my eyes, letting the pain consume me once more, until I fall into a fitful sleep. Some days it feels like this will never get better. One step forward, two steps back. ~*~*~*~ I wake up with an ache in my heart that seems heavier than last night. I push up and glance over at my phone on the ground, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I stretch, rub at my chest, and then climb out

of bed and walk over to my phone, picking it up. I see a couple of new messages and my heart sinks. If Michael has text, I don’t know if I want to read them. I can’t face them. I’m not even sure if I want to anymore. They hurt too much. I slide my phone unlocked and see they’re from Roman. My heart lightens a little. R – Morning Bestie. R – How are you? I walk back over to my bed and sit down, responding. M – Hey! I’m okay. Dickface finally called last night. R – What? What happened? Are you okay? My heart warms at his kindness. M – Not really. He said some pretty harsh things  R – Like what? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, but I’m here if you do. M – He basically said that I was easy and would have cared about any man willing to give me sex. R – What a dick! You know that’s not true. M – I don’t know anything anymore. He made me question myself. R – Don’t let him get to you. He’s just a giant dickface. I snort but find myself smiling. M – You’re right about that! How are you? R – Had a shit night, too. She rang me. Oh, no. I respond quickly. M – What? Seriously? Are you okay? R – Yeah. I told her to stop bothering me, and to just let me move on, but she won’t ay. That makes no sense to me. She was the one who broke it off with him. She is seeing another man. What kind of bitch is she? M – What? Why? That’s so unfair. R – Yep. She just keeps me hanging. She’s seeing someone else, but when I ask her to stop contacting me and just let me move on, she won’t do it. What a selfish, self-centred person. M – I’m so sorry. R – Yeah. Worst part is I just start feeling better, and then she calls and I’m right back at the start. M – That really sucks! We should meet up. You can tell me about it. R – Yeah for sure. M – I’ve got to get ready for work. I’ll talk to you later, okay? R – Okay. I put my phone down and walk out of my bedroom, wondering why any woman would break up with someone, move on, yet at the same time not fully let them go. She couldn’t possibly love him, because she would have never been able to move on so easily, so what the hell does she want from him? Poor Roman. There is nothing worse than loving someone with your whole heart, and having them rip it clean out and yet refuse to let you heal. Bitch. “Yo, sista!” I’m barely into my kitchen when the front door flings open and Jack comes bounding in. He’s got two coffees, the legend, and a huge grin on his face.

“I could have been naked, Jack. Ever think of that?” He snorts. “Like I’d care, you’ve got a great ass.” I roll my eyes and walk over, taking the coffee with one hand and flipping him the bird with the other. “What are you so happy about at this hour of the morning?” He grins. “She spoke to me last night.” I glance at him while sipping my coffee. “The girl who is playing hard to get?” He nods. “Yep. She spoke to me, and it wasn’t to tell me to fuck off.” “What exactly did she say then?” He pouts. “Well, she said go away or I’ll be forced to hurt you, but it wasn’t fuck off.” I burst out laughing. “Getting warmer there, Jack.” He flips me the bird now. “It is right? It’s not as bad as fuck off. It’s like, a step down.” “Yep,” I say, digging through the clothes on my sofa looking for my work shirt. “Next it’ll be go away just on its own.” “Imagine that. The day she stops abusing me.” “Keep trying.” I giggle. “One day you might actually get a hello.” He grins, like that’s an awesome thought. I roll my eyes and laugh. “Anyway, what’s up with you? You’ve been crying.” Oh, my god. I can’t hide anything. “Tough night. I’m fine. I made a new friend, though.” “Did you, what’s her name?” I burst out laughing. “It’s a he, and his name is Roman.” “Are you sure he’s not a serial killer? Where did you meet him?” I cross my arms, shirt dangling from my hand. “He’s not a serial killer. I’m fairly certain of that. He checks all the right boxes so far.” “Oh, my god, you’re going to fuck him. Rebound sex.” I snort. “Seriously, is sex all you think about?” He cocks a brow. “Coming from you.” After Michael’s comments last night, that kind of hurts. But I don’t say anything, because Jack doesn’t mean it like that, and I know he doesn’t. “Yeah, well, maybe I’m changing.” He roars with laughter. Yep. My life rocks right now.

CHAPTER 4 “Order up!” I rush to the counter and take the two plates, twisting on my heel and rushing them over to the table. I place them down, smiling at the young couple, and then I undo my apron and duck out back. “I’m going on my break!” I call to my boss, the head chef. He smiles at me and nods, giving me a thumbs up. He’s only about twenty-eight and extremely successful. He’s brought this business up from the ground and has managed to run it as well as cook. Not to mention, he’s awesome. He’s easy going, funny, and lenient. He works us to the top standards, but he’s not cruel about it. He would be, without a doubt, the best boss I’ve ever had. I get outside and sit on the old table and chairs set up for the staff. I pull out my sandwich and then glance down at my phone. I see a message from Roman and eagerly open it. R – How are you feeling now? My heart swells. Outside of my family, it seems nobody really asks that question anymore. People just go about their day, never seeing how anyone else is. Mostly, because they’re suffering with their own problems. Roman is dealing with more than most, yet he takes the time out of his day to ask me how I am. That feels nice. M – I’m doing a bit better. How are you? R – I’m okay. Feeling a bit shit today. Want to catch up later? My heart skips. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, someone who isn’t family, someone who isn’t so close to me that all they’ll want to do is offer advice on how I should proceed. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my family, but it will be nice to have someone else to talk to. M – Yeah. I would. What are you thinking? R – Come over, I have some food and beer here. M – Okay! What time? R – Whenever you finish work. M – I’ll see you then! R – Later, Bestie. I put my phone away, finish my lunch, and then head back inside to finish my shift. As I drive home, I think about meeting up with Roman. Now the dynamic of our friendship has changed. Before, we were just two people who didn’t know much about each other and said hello if we passed on the streets, now we’re confiding in each other only after a few days. It almost seems dream like in the way it has come about. I wonder if it’ll fizzle out as quickly as it begun? By the time I get home, I’ve well and truly over thought the whole thing, and a flurry of nerves flutter around in my stomach. What if it’s weird? What if we don’t get along as well as we think we will? What if it just feels ... strange? I take a deep, shaky breath and move to my closet where I stare at my clothes. What would friends wear? I don’t want to overdo it. I don’t want to seem too ... eager. God. I pick a black top—it’s pretty but not over the top. Then I pull on a pair of jeans and some flats before straightening my hair. Then I stare at myself. It’s too much. What if he thinks I’m trying to, I don’t know, hit on him? Man. I shake my head and decide to run with it. If I start thinking too much

about it now, I’ll freak out and end up not going. And I’m far too curious to know how and why this man was put in my life to chicken out. I walk out, grab my purse and phone, and then head out to my car. The entire drive over, butterflies scurry around in my belly. I hope I’m not awkward. I’m not good with new people on a good day. I say all the wrong things, make weird jokes, and am generally just weird. What if he is turned off by my personality, but he has to pretend to be nice because he’s already committed to being my best friend? I shake my head, stopping myself. I’m over analysing this. I’m jumping well ahead of myself and there is no reason to. This feels right. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but somewhere, deep down in my heart it honestly feels like we were meant to meet each other and I’m going to go with that. For once, I’m not going to fight what the universe presents. I’m not going to try and make things go my own way, I’m just going to let this one play out how it’s supposed to. I arrive at Roman’s house only a couple of minutes later, the joys of living nearby. I nervously climb out of my car and walk up to his front gate. I glance around. He has a nice house, it’s really tidy and clean. Strange for a guy. They’re usually terrible at these things. I open the gate and walk around the side of the white brick house. He’s sitting at a table on his patio, it’s a gorgeous table, made of a stunning cut of wood. I immediately like it, and a smile breaks out over my face. He looks up when he hears me and a smile breaks out over his face, too. His brown eyes get light, and I know straight away that regardless of how weird this is, he’s absolutely a genuine person. I can see it in him. There isn’t a single creepy thing about him. “Hey,” I say, walking closer. “Hey,” he says, standing and grabbing me a chair. “Sit.” I sit down and stare at him, feeling a little awkward, but strangely at home. It almost feels like I’ve known him my whole life. There is something about him, it seems familiar somehow. It’s a comfort that usually comes after years of being with someone, or knowing someone. Yet, I feel it with him after less than a week. “How are you?” I ask, crossing my legs and leaning my elbows on the table. “Good, you?” I grin. “This is totally awkward, right?” He laughs. “I can be a bit shy. Sorry.” “So can I, believe it or not.” He snorts, and I roll my eyes. “I doubt it.” “It’s the truth. I’m actually freaking the hell out inside right now.” He grins and his eyes light up. I wonder how many people have noticed that before? It’s the first thing I notice. His eyes talk, in a big way. I can nearly read everything he’s thinking, just by studying those eyes. They are nice eyes. Gorgeous. “Nice top,” he says, dropping his gaze to my shirt and then sliding it back up again. “It looks good on you.” “Thanks,” I say, squirming. “Want a beer?” “Yes, please.” He gets up and fetches us both a beer, then he sits back down.

“So, considering we’re besties now,” I say, my voice still a little shaky from my nerves. “I think we totally need to ask twenty questions. You know, considering you could be a serial killer and I wouldn’t know.” He laughs. “All right, fuck, go easy on me, woman.” I grin. “I think we have to do it. I mean, you could be anyone. I could be anyone. I could be a stalker, for all you know.” He raises his brows. “I thought I saw you outside my window last night, but I was thinking maybe I was imagining things.” I chuckle. “Oh, my god, dickhead. I wasn’t outside your window. I was inside your closet.” He laughs, and God, it’s a nice sound. I like his voice. There is something comforting and yet incredibly sexy about it. “Okay, hit me with this twenty questions crap.” I raise my brows and sip my beer. “Oh, crap now, is it? Your new best friend could be anyone, are you willing to risk that?” He cocks a brow. I grin. “Okay, let’s skip the twenty questions and you just tell me something about yourself.” He sips his beer and studies me. “I like cooking.” I press a hand to my mouth and do a happy little squeal. “Oh, my god, are you serious?” He grins. “Yep.” “Me too! I’m a good cook. I love cooking.” He straightens and puts his beer down. “Oh, it’s on. I can cook better than you, woman.” My mouth drops open. “Is that a challenge? Because I’ll kick your ass.” “Oh it’s on,” he cocks a brow. “This is going to be hilarious.” “Why, because you’ll go down crying?” He grins. “Challenge accepted then. We’ll see who ends up crying, and it won’t be me, princess.” I cross my arms. “You’re going down. Prepare yourself.” We both laugh and something inside me eases, something deep down in my soul softens just a little. Something feels better. And I realise in that exact moment what we were put together for. We were put together to heal each other. To fix each other. ~*~*~*~ “Tell me about this woman,” I say, swallowing another sip of beer. Roman turns towards me and crooks a finger, indicating that I shuffle my chair closer. I do, scooting closer until we’re facing each other. He smells incredible, again. Whoever this ex bitch is, she’s missing out. He smells good enough to lick. I inwardly laugh at that thought, because it sounds totally creepy, even in my own head. “I don’t really do emotions and shit,” he says, studying me. The way he studies me, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. His eyes penetrate me, like he can see every thought and emotion in my head. His eyes express everything. They’re soft and warm. They’re also hurting. “We don’t need to do emotions and shit, but I’m your new Bestie, it’s like, my job to make you feel better.” “Okay,” he says, sitting back in his chair.

He has a tattoo on his arm. I glance at it, and realise it’s a Harley Davidson tattoo. It starts on his forearm and winds up nearly to his shoulder. It’s a beautiful tattoo, intricate and detailed. It suits him. I move my eyes back to his face, trying to distract myself from openly staring at his bicep. He has great muscles, in fact, he’s got a great build. “I’ll start. How long were you with her?” He takes a sip of his beer before answering. “About three and a half years.” “Wow, that’s a good amount of time.” “Yeah,” he mutters. “But about two of those she lived somewhere else.” Long distance. Interesting. “Why is that?” I ask, crossing my legs and leaning back in my chair. “She got a job somewhere else and decided to take it.” I try to stop my body from jerking, because ... what? She chose a job over the person she was supposed to love? She picked a career ... over him? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for chasing your dreams but when you’re in a relationship, you fight. That’s what you’re supposed to do. You try, at the very least, to figure out a way. “She just left?” I say, trying not to sound judgy, but dammit, I feel judgy. I could never leave someone I loved. No job in the world could replace that. None. “Well, she wanted the job and she really didn’t like it here, so it made sense.” “That didn’t upset you?” He shrugs. “Nah, not really.” He says that, but there is something in his eyes, something behind his stare, it’s something that makes him feel unworthy. He might not admit it, but somewhere, deep down, her not choosing him had to plant a seed of doubt that he wasn’t worth staying for. If only he could see he is totally worth staying for, and I don’t even know him that well. “Oh,” I say, shifting. “So you did long distance for over two years? Didn’t that suck?” “Yeah, it did. I like alone time, so it wasn’t so bad, but yeah ... sometimes it sucked.” “How often did you see her?” “Maybe once every three months.” Once. Every. Three. Months. I can’t even wrap my head around that. An entire relationship based on phone conversations and text messages alone. I mean, don’t get me wrong, hats off to him for being able to do it, but how much can you truly know about a person after only living with them for such a short amount of time? There is no way he could have known the real person. It takes years to truly learn everything about someone. “Wow,” I finally answer. “That sucks.” “Yeah, it did.” “So, did you see it coming, the break up?” He shrugs and the pain on his face, God, I don’t know if he knows I can see it, but I can. And all I want to do is find this woman and kick her fair in the twat. “Kind of,” he answers. “She got distant with the messages and calls. I knew something was up. I asked her one day if she was going to break up with me and she kind of just said, yeah, sorry.” Yeah. Sorry. Anger bubbles in my chest. What kind of horrible person ...

“That’s really awful,” I say, trying not to let my disgust show. “Yeah, it gets worse,” he says, drinking more of his beer. “She basically blocked me, as you know, but when she told me she was seeing someone else, she did it the day I went back to work. Not only that, I was about to start nightshift, so I was relying on sleep to get me through my shift at work.” Oh, my god. What a horrible, horrible human being. “She told you she was seeing someone else, knowing you needed that sleep to work?” He nods. “And she did it ... over text message?” “She does everything over text message,” he mutters. “I couldn’t even get a fuckin’ phone call. Imagine how hard it was to try and sleep after that. I was throwing back sleeping pills like there was no tomorrow.” Seriously. That’s terrible. My heart literally breaks for this man. He gave his entire heart and soul to a person that can’t even give him the common decency to call him and tell him that she has moved onto another man. That fact that she could even move onto another man so quickly makes me question her. “You’re a woman, do you think she was seeing him before she left me?” I glance at him, and God, the hope in his eyes makes me want to scream. I know what he wants me to say, he wants me to say no way would she do that, but the truth is, deep down, I don’t see that she could meet someone and move on in a matter of weeks after leaving someone, unless she was talking to that man before she left Roman. “I’m not sure,” I say, opting with the easiest answer for both of us. “I don’t know her and the situation, but it sounds like she moved on fairly quickly.” He nods and drinks more beer. “She’s so selfish. You know the worst part? When I first met her, I had a gut feeling. I felt like something wasn’t right. I ignored that feeling, and I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have.” No. You should never ignore your gut. Not ever. It is always, always right. I had gut feelings towards Michael, too. If I had listened to those, I might not be suffering now, either. “Yeah, your gut usually always tells you what’s right and wrong.” “Yeah,” he says, studying me. “How random is our meeting?” I smile. “You know what’s funny? I was literally having the worst day of my life when I ran into you that day. I was so broken. So hurt. I didn’t think I could get through. When you asked if I wanted to be besties, I honestly thought it was crazy, but now I’m starting to think there is a reason we met.” “Yeah,” he says, his voice low, “I was in a really bad place, too. I swear only a few days earlier I asked for something to come along and make it easier, and then you showed up.” “Do you think we were meant to help each other?” I ask him. “Yeah, I do.” I grin. He grins back. I thought it was weird at first, but now it’s clear as day. I just made a new Bestie.

CHAPTER 5 “What a dick!” Roman says, sitting so close to me our legs are touching. “I know, right!” I mutter. “Dickface is a total dick. I swear, what a waste of my time. I hate that I love him. I really do. He doesn’t deserve it.” “I can’t believe he said that stuff to you, worse, I can’t believe he can be so cold about it.” “Yeah,” I huff. “And then we have the opposite end of the scale with your ex. You’re fighting so hard and she doesn’t give a crap. God, the things I’d do to have someone fight for me like that. I wish she could see how lucky she is.” “She won’t,” he grunts. “Because she’s a selfish person.” “Yep, so is he.” “Maybe he should move near her, and they can be selfish together.” I laugh. “Yeah, let’s see how that works out for them.” “I still can’t believe he said you only wanted him for sex,” Roman says, grinning, showing that cute dimple in his cheek. “I know. What man do you know complains about having a woman throw themselves at him?” Roman shrugs. “Fucks me, but he’s an idiot. Sounds like he was the one doing the wrong thing and he’s just shifting the blame to you.” “Yeah, well, fuck him.” “Fuck him,” he agrees. “Fuck them both.” “Yeah.” He raises his glass and we clink beers. “Fuck them both.” We both burst out laughing again, and it feels good. The ache in my chest eases a little more with every passing second. The pain in his eyes shifts, and the smile on his face is genuine. If I was ever made to do something, I think it was to help Roman. Or maybe it was him who was supposed to help me. Hell, maybe we were just meant to help each other. “So, you have any siblings?” he asks. I nod, running my finger over the condensation on the beer. “Yeah, a sister. She’s great. What about you?” “Two sisters. One of them practically raised me when my mom passed away. She’s a fair bit older than me.” “Your mom passed?” I say softly, my heart aching. He nods. “Yeah. I was fairly young.” “I’m so sorry. It sounds like your sister did an amazing thing, then?” He smiles, and it’s warm. “She’s a good woman, hey. She’d help anyone.” “I already like her.” “Yeah, she was good to my other sister and I.” I study him. “Is your other sister older too?” “Only by a year. We have a different dad.” “Oh,” I say, nodding in understanding. “Right.”

“What about you?” “My dad runs the Jokers’ Wrath MC, if that much isn’t already obvious.” His brows shoot up. “Yeah, I knew that, but it’s still pretty impressive. Do you like being part of a club?” I shrug. “Yes and no. I mean, I can’t complain, they’d do anything for me, but it can be ... overwhelming.” “Because they’re so protective?” I nod. “Yep, it can get a bit much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” “They as scary as they look?” I chuckle. “Yep.” He grins. “Nice one.” “Anyway,” I say, standing, “I should really get going. I have to work tomorrow afternoon, and this beer tastes way too good.” He stands. “Let me call you a cab to get home, I’ll drop your car in the morning.” “Thanks, that’ll be awesome.” We both walk out to the front of his house and wait for the cab he dials. I lean against the fence, and he stands next to me. I can smell him. He smells incredible. Our arms touch and something passes over me, a familiarity I can’t quite pinpoint. I could swear I’ve known him forever. “Do you want to come for a drive with me tomorrow?” he asks, turning and studying me. “Yeah, where are you going?” “I own a bit of land out of town, I just wanted to check in on it. I can show you around. Have you ever shot a gun?” I shake my head. “My dad used to try and get both my sister and I to learn how to shoot, but being raised in the club, it was something I had seen so much of I just didn’t want to learn.” “I’ll show you. It’s fun!” My heart swells. I smile. “Okay.” “I’ll come pick you up in the morning,” he says when my cab arrives. “Thanks for tonight. I had fun.” Our eyes meet. Genuine warmth. “Me too,” I say, sliding into the car. “’Night, Bestie.” “Goodnight.” As the cab pulls away, I glance out the back window. Yes. Whoever put us together, they most definitely had a reason. ~*~*~*~ R – Morning. I glance with blurry eyes at the text message that just came through on my phone. I smile and groggily respond. Roman messages me every morning to make sure I’m okay. I like waking up and knowing there will be a message from him. It’s a nice feeling to have. M – Don’t you sleep? R – Lol. Not really. How did you sleep? M – Pretty good. And I’m not hungover, winner. R – Nice. You keen for today still?

M – Absolutely! R – Cool. I’ll come past and get you soon. M – Okay. I climb out of bed and plod to the shower, turning it on as hot as I can handle before climbing in. I wash my hair quickly and then stand, soaking the water in for a few minutes before getting out and drying off. What do I wear? I open my closet and stare at the clothes. I end up going with a pair of black shorts and a black tee. Simple, yet not over the top considering we’re shooting a gun. When I’m done, I head into the kitchen and turn on the kettle to make a quick coffee before Roman arrives. I hear the rumble of his truck only minutes later and smile. He certainly doesn’t waste time. A knock sounds out at my door a minute later. “It’s open!” I call out. The door swings open, and Roman strides in. He holds an air of confidence as he moves into my house, like he’s been here a thousand times. “Hey,” he says, eyes scanning the room. “Nice place.” He walks over and glances at the photos on my bookshelf. “Just make yourself right at home,” I tease. He flashes me a grin. “Sorry, I’m a snoop.” He moves about my living area, checking everything out, and I can’t help but chuckle as I drink my coffee. He’s not shy. That’s for sure. And yet he would have me believe it when we first met. I study him as he takes in my place. He’s so relaxed. So at ease. As if he’s known me his whole life. “You ready to rock and roll?” he says, glancing at the coffee cup in my hand. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.” I pick up my phone and purse and lock up my house on the way out to his truck. We climb in, and he shoots me a wink before reversing the car out onto the road. “So, have you owned this place long?” I ask as he pulls out onto the highway. “Yeah a while. I’m trying to sell it.” “Oh, how come?” “Just like living here better.” “Fair enough. It is nice.” “I built the shed in myself, it wasn’t there when I got the place.” “Wow, that’s pretty cool. I didn’t know you could build.” He snorts. “I looked up YouTube videos until I could do it myself.” I burst out laughing. “Well done, I’m so impressed by you right now.” He chuckles. “I know, right? I fucked up the tiling a bit at first, but by the end I was a pro.” I roll my eyes. “We’ll see.” He grins. “I got some watermelons in the back. I’ve always wanted to shoot one. They say they’re just like a head.” I half wheeze, half laugh. “Oh, my god. That’s a little disturbing, you know that, right?” “I just want to see how they explode.” “I’m concerned for you.” He rolls his eyes. “Don’t say you don’t want to see what happens.” “I kind of do,” I admit. He nods enthusiastically at me. “Right? Be fucking awesome.” I shake my head with a grin. Men. “See that house there?” he says, pointing to an old red-brick house we pass on the highway. “Yeah?” “Want to hear a funny story?” I cross my legs and turn slightly towards him. “I don’t know, do I?”

He grins and nods. “Okay, tell me.” “I got a call from a chick once, saying to come over and fuck her. I hadn’t seen her for a bit, and thought she lived in that house. She had lived there for ages. So anyway, I rock up at the house, all ready to go, and knock on the front door but nobody answers. So, I think fuck it, and just go inside. She said she’s alone, so what the hell?” I start giggling, because I already know where this story is going. “So, I just walk in and start waltzing down the hall, and this girl comes out of the bedroom. But it isn’t the girl I’m here to see. She looks at me. I look at her. And I ask her if the girl is home.” I’m snort laughing now. “She says she doesn’t live here anymore. She’s looking at me like I’m a total psycho. I’m all primed and ready to go and I’ve gone into the wrong house and was just walking down to the bedroom like I owned the place.” I double over with laughter, then shoot back up again. “Wait, you didn’t screw the chick that was actually in the house, did you?” He laughs. “No. I found out where the other girl lived, but it was fucking hilarious.” “That poor girl. Imagine walking out of your room and seeing some random dude, probably sporting a boner, waltzing down your hall.” We both laugh for a solid few minutes. “It was fucking funny.” I shake my head. “God, only you.” He nods. “Yeah.” “I have a funny sex story too. Want to hear it?” He glances at me, then nods. “Yep.” “So, I was only about sixteen when I lost my virginity. I was going out with this guy for about six months and we finally decided to do it. But both our parents wouldn’t allow anything like that in the house so we had to improvise. We went down to this park, it was quiet, and dark, and it seemed like a good time to do it on the grass.” He urges me on with his hand, a wicked grin on his face. This man has a devilish personality, I can tell already. “So, there we are, the awful moment of losing your virginity. We’re on the ground, kind of close to a garden, and we go the whole way you know. It takes a while. When it’s over, and we’re dressed, we’re both sitting there when he turns to me and says, ‘Was it good for you?’ the next thing I know, a voice comes out of the darkness, from in the garden, and says, ‘It was good for me.’” “Oh, my god!” Roman roars with laughter. “Yes, there was a homeless man in the garden, and he sat and enjoyed the loss of my virginity, from start to finish. I was horrified. I ran off, covered in grass and leaves, ready to die a slow and painful death of shame.” Roman is laughing so hard, and I can’t help but join in. “That’s the best fucking story I’ve ever heard.” “It’s funny now, but it totally wasn’t funny at the time.” “Fucking hilarious.” I roll my eyes. He winks at me. God. This man.

CHAPTER 6 “Wow,” I breathe, taking in the nearly 360-degree views from Roman’s property. “This is absolutely amazing.” “Yeah,” he says, standing beside me. “It’s nice, hey.” “If I lived here, I’d just sit up here and never move. It’s so beautiful.” The rolling hills in the distance, and the thick mass of trees on the horizon just makes for an incredibly stunning view. It’s absolutely gorgeous. “My ex never came out here, she didn’t really like it,” he says, sitting beside me. “What the hell is wrong with her? If I lived here, I’d never be inside. Motorbikes. Horses. God, the things you could do on all this land.” “Yeah, for sure.” I cross my legs and lean forward, dropping my chin into my hands and sighing. “You could even just pitch a tent if you felt like it, anywhere on your land, it would be like a camping trip without going anywhere.” “Want to hear another funny story?” I grin at him. “Hit me.” “I had some cows on here, and one day this one cow was giving birth. I was driving past and I swear, she was just standing, ass to a big drop off, and I just knew what was going to happen.” “Oh, no!” I say, eyes wide. “Yep, the calf came out, and just dropped down the side of this cliff.” “Oh, my god!” I cry, pressing a hand over my mouth. “What did you do?” “I thought for sure it would be dead, it was a pretty high fall. So I got out of the truck and climbed down the side of the ledge, tripping and stumbling. I’m searching around for this dead calf, and I push a thick mass of grass aside and you’ll never believe, there was these two, big brown eyes looking at me.” “Aw,” I cry. “He was alive?” “Yep. I felt so sorry for it, I just wrapped my arms around it in a big hug. Then I had to push its ass back up the hill.” I giggle. “That would have been fun, but totally worth it because he lived!” “Yeah, he was lucky he was so fucking cute.” I shove him in the shoulder. “Stop acting so tough.” “Come on,” he says, standing. “Let’s shoot some guns.” We move down a hill just slightly, and I see three orange traffic cones set up. Roman pulls out his guns and loads them while I go and position the watermelons near the edge of the drop off and the traffic cones. Then I go back and stare at the awesome shotgun he’s holding in his hand. “This one is really cool, it’s like the movies,” he says, showing me a grey colored gun. “That is cool! Is it heavy?” He hands it to me, and I feel its weight. Not too bad. Excitement bubbles in my chest, and I hop from foot to foot excitedly. He puts a pair of earmuffs on and says, “Block your ears and let’s see how this bad girl explodes.”

I block my ears with a huge grin on my face as he squats down and aims the gun. He pulls the trigger, and it hits the watermelon. The fruit explodes into a mess, flying in all different directions. I scream happily and clap my hands. “That was fucking awesome!” He laughs. “You have a go.” “Oh, my god, I don’t know how to do this.” He hands me the gun. “You just pull this bit back—” he points to a little leaver “—then hold it up to your shoulder here, stare down through the little hole, and pull the trigger.” “Eeek,” I say, taking the gun from him and fiddling with it until it feels right. “I’m recording you,” he says, pulling out his phone. “I want to see how the second one explodes.” “Oh, pressure!” “Wait,” he says, walking over and sliding the ear muffs on. “You’ll go deaf otherwise.” I grin up at him and then position the gun and peer down through the tiny hole. I pull the trigger. The sound explodes around me and the gun presses back into my shoulder, but the adrenaline that rushes through me makes me want to scream with excitement. Damn. That felt pretty fucking good. “I missed it!” I yell. “Go again, you got five bullets.” I aim again and pull the trigger. The bullet hits the watermelon, and it explodes. I whoop with joy and look over to Roman, who is laughing as he films. “Fuck yeah! Now hit the traffic cones.” I aim again, and shoot the last three bullets, missing the traffic cones each time, but I’m so pumped I don’t care. I stand up and hand the gun back. “That was so cool!” “Well, the trees, bushes, dirt, and air that got hit by your bullets don’t think so.” I thump his shoulder. “Shut up. I tried.” He rolls his eyes with a grin. “You couldn’t see the big, orange traffic cones?” “Tosser.” He winks at me. “You like that?” he asks as we walk back to the truck. “That was awesome! I loved it.” “You should get some. When I used to live out here, I used to just sit in this half closed in shed I made and just shoot for hours. Kind of like a man cave, I guess.” I laugh. “I wouldn’t come and piss you off in that man cave.” “Ha, nah. I wouldn’t either.” “It’s a shame you have to sell this place. It really is incredible.” “Yeah.” He nods, putting the guns back in the case and sliding it into the truck. “It is, hey. Still, when I sell it, I’ll buy something closer to where we are now.” “That’ll be nice too. It’s a good area.” “Yep. You hungry?” I nod. “Let’s go get some food.” We both leap back into the truck, and I realise for the first time in a few weeks Michael hasn’t crossed my mind once. Is this how it feels to finally move on? ~*~*~*~ The rumble of bikes has a massive smile spreading across my face. I look up from doing the dishes and reach for a towel, drying my hands. Dad and the club have been out the last few days for a ride,

and they’ve obviously just gotten back into town. I rush over to the front door and swing it open. My dad is standing, hand raised, ready to knock. “Dad!” I cry, throwing myself into his arms. He takes a step back and makes an oomphing sound. “Last time you jumped on me like this, you were ten,” he grunts, wrapping an arm around my waist and squeezing me. “How are you, baby girl?” “Awesome,” I say, letting him go and glancing past him. He has Krypt, his Vice President, Mack and Tyke with him. They’re basically his right-hand men. All of them are extremely close. “Hi, guys! Come in!” “Tell me you take after your old man and keep beer in this place?” Krypt says, winking at me as he walks into my house. “Don’t ask stupid questions, Krypt, of course I have beer in the house. You do realise it’s only midday, though?” “It’s five o’clock somewhere, darlin’,” he says. “Hey, Mol, how’s things?” Mack says, stepping up and hooking me around the waist, pulling me in for a hug. “Good, Mack. How are you? How’s Jaylah?” “Drivin’ me nuts, as always. Wouldn’t have her any other way. My boy been over here driving you crazy?” “I haven’t seen Jack for a few days, but I have no doubt he’ll show his face either today or tomorrow. He’s busy hunting down a female that doesn’t want him.” Mack chuckles and lets me go. “Do him good to have a challenge.” “Yeah.” I giggle. “And it’s entertainment for the rest of us.” Mack laughs and disappears into my house. “Hey, Molly,” Tyke says. “Hey, Tyke, how are you?” He grins. “Awesome.” They all move into my kitchen, help themselves to a beer, and then flop themselves onto my couch. I sit down on the carpet, crossing my legs. “Where’s your sister?” Dad asks, cracking a beer. “I went past her place, she wasn’t there.” “I think she’s working,” I say. “How was the ride?” “Ride’s a ride, baby.” I roll my eyes. They never give anything away. “You look happier this week,” Mack says, resting his beer between his legs. “Yeah, it’s been a good week. How Diesel? I haven’t seen him for a few days.” Mack grunts. “Swooning all over that girl still.” I laugh. “Aw, come on Mack. She makes him happy.” “A bike could make him happy, too.” “We all know Diesel is not going to be a biker.” Mack purses his lips. He’s Native American and extremely good looking, even for his age. He still keeps his hair long and braided down his back. His skin is soft, untouched, and light brown. He doesn’t look like he’s old enough to be my father, I guess his heritage makes his youth stick. “Fuck knows what Diesel is going to be.” “Happy,” I point out. Mack raises his brows, then grins. “Can’t argue with that, darlin’.” “What about Phoenix and Quinn?” I say, turning to Krypt. “Still driving the world crazy, one sarcastic comment at a time?” Krypt nods, a disgusted look on his face. “Those two will be the fuckin’ death of me.”

Dad chuckles. “Should have had girls, I’m tellin’ ya.” “Had no choice,” Kyrpt mutters. “My swimmers decided boys was the way to go.” “Weak,” Dad says and Krypt flips him the bird. “How’s that fuck sandwich who was messing around with you?” Dad asks, blue eyes swinging in my direction. “He still bothering you?” He’d have to talk to me to bother me. My chest clenches at the thought. Thinking about Michael still hurts. It’s easing, sure, but the fact that he was so careless ... It just makes no sense to me. After everything we shared. I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away. Dwelling on it won’t change it. I’m starting to come to terms with that fact. “No, he isn’t.” “So, I don’t get to fuck him up?” I shake my head with a grin. “No, old man, you do not get to fuck him up.” “I can, though,” Krypt says, and I shoot him a glare. “Me too,” Mack adds. “And me,” Tyke nods. I sigh and push to my feet. “Bloody bikers.” I walk into the kitchen, and their laughter follows me. They drive me crazy, but I don’t know what I’d do without them.

CHAPTER 7 R – My ex is a cunt. I glance at my phone just before I walk into the restaurant for work. Roman has gone to work, and he’ll be gone for a few days. It sucks not having him around to hang out with. The last few days with him were awesome. They eased something inside me. They took my mind off things. M – A cunt monkey. R – Hahaha. Cunt monkey. That’s awesome. M – Do I need to find her and punch her in the twat? Because I would. I so would. R – A good twat punch. Lol. M – It can be arranged. Everything okay? R – Yeah. It’s a long story. I’ll call you later and tell you. But she text me last night. I haven’t heard much from her, so it kind of came out of the blue. M – Oh true? That sucks! U okay? R – Yeah. I’m okay. M – That’s good. How’s work? R – Boring. Lol. How are you? M – About to start my shift! Sucks. Give me a call later, okay? R – Ok. Have a good day  I tuck my phone into my pocket and head inside to start my shift. The restaurant is already packed. It’s going to be a long afternoon. I’m right. It’s a long, draining afternoon. I end up doing two extra hours because it’s so packed. By the time I get out, there are only a few hours until sundown. With aching feet, I move out onto the sidewalk and stop when I see Matilda running towards me, a massive grin on her face. “Sissy!” she cries, throwing herself at me. I laugh and wrap my arms around her. “It’s not normal to stalk your sister, Tilly. You should know that.” She laughs and pulls back. “Guess what?” “What?” “I’ve got a date.” She does a little wiggle, and I roll my eyes. “Give me the deets!” “Want to get some dinner?” I nod, my stomach grumbling in agreeance. “Yes, yes, I do.” We walk down to a café nearby and find a table outside, sitting down. A waitress comes right over with a pen and paper in her hands. “Hi there! My name is Sally, and I’ll be your waitress today. Have you eaten here before?” Matilda and I both nod. We come here all the time. They make the best burgers and milkshakes. Sally laughs. “Okay then. You make my job easier. What can I get you or would you like time to think about it?” “Nope,” Matilda says. “We know. We’re easy. Two cheeseburgers and two chocolate milkshakes, please.”

Sally nods. “Perfect!” She writes it down, takes our menus, and then rushes off. When she’s gone, I turn to Matilda. “So! Tell me about this guy? Where, how, what, when ....” “Okay,” she says, clapping her hands together. “So I met him a couple of weeks ago, and we have just been talking casually, but today he asked me out!” “And I didn’t know this why?” I feign hurt, pressing a hand over my heart. She rolls her eyes. “I didn’t want to jinx it by telling anyone. So, anyway, he is gorgeous. I’m not even joking. He looks like a model.” I raise my brows. “A model? Seriously?” She nods, pulling out her phone and showing me a picture of a tall, dark, and extremely handsome guy. He also looks high maintenance and slightly girly. I prefer my men to be, well, men, but Matilda has always preferred the pretty boys. This one fits her perfectly. “He’s cute,” I say. “What’s his name?” “TJ. Gosh. He’s so perfect. It’s honestly ridiculous. I don’t know why he’d pick me.” I stare at my sister. “You’re kidding, right? You’re gorgeous.” “I know,” she says, flicking her hair playfully. “But he’s like ... beyond gorgeous.” “Well, I say he got lucky getting you.” She smiles and her eyes twinkle. “So, what about you? How have things been? Still talking to your new friend?” “Yeah, I am. We hung out a few times last week. It was so much fun. He’s a cool guy.” “Still got a crazy ex bothering him?” I nod, pursing my lips. “Yeah, sadly. He text me before saying she called him last night. He’s going to tell me about it later. Honestly, the stories he tells me, I wonder how she ever held a boyfriend to begin with.” Matilda raises a hand to her ear and makes a circle in the universal ‘crazy’ gesture. “Crazy?” she murmurs. “Total crazy. She’s just ... How should I put it? A bitch. A total cow. The things he’s told me, I honestly just can’t understand how anyone can behave like that. I mean, I’m sure he’s not perfect, either, but what she did to him, what she’s continuing to do to him ... It’s wrong.” “What’s she doing?” Matilda asks, leaning forward and dropping her chin into her hands. “Spill.” “Well, she broke up with him, right? She’s been seeing another dude. Yet when he asks her to stop contacting him and just let him go, she tells him she can’t. What the fuck is that?” Matilda scrunches up her nose. “You’re kidding?” “Nope. She doesn’t want him, but she refuses to cut contact and let him go.” “What a psych!” she frowns. “Honestly, what the hell is wrong with some people? They think they’re entitled to everything and anything. Oh, I’ll break up with you, move on with another man, but don’t leave me.” “I know,” I say, crossing my arms. “It’s disgusting.” “Truthfully, with people like that, the only way is for him to just block her and move on.” I nod. “I know, but he still loves her too much. I think he’s holding onto hope still. I guess when you love someone and they’re giving you even a tiny bit of hope, you’re going to hang on.” She nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, you’re right. He must be a damned good guy to put up with that, though.” “He is. He’s a really good guy. You’ll see when you meet him. It radiates off him. You know how you meet some people and you can just feel it? You can feel how genuine they are? He’s one of those. He’d take the shirt off his back for you.” She smiles. “Then it’s a damned shame he’s wasting so much of his time on her.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “I hope one day he sees that.” The waitress brings our food, and our conversation is put on hold as we eat. I love these times with my sister. I love having someone to vent to. I hope this is all a step in the right direction. ~*~*~*~ “Wait,” I say, shifting deeper into my couch. “She text you at midnight saying she’s sorry?” “Yep,” Roman says. “Just out of the blue.” “What did you do?” “I asked her if she was okay and she told me she missed me, blah blah blah. So I rang her, and you’d never guess where she was.” I shake my head. “Where?” “In the back of a cop car.” “What!” I cry. “Details!” “She had gotten into a fight with her new man and went off at him. He called the cops on her.” Um. Psycho. “Are you serious?” “Yep. She was drunk, too.” Wow. So she only calls him to say she’s sorry and she misses him when she’s jammed in the back of a cop car, drunk, after having a fight with her new boyfriend? Anger bubbles in my chest. If I could meet her, I’d punch her straight in the mouth without hesitation. How these girls manage to get men like Roman, that love them so much, is far beyond me. Is it the abusive treatment that attracts them? Is that the reason he goes back? If she was a kind, loving girl, would she have enough to make him stay? “That’s terrible,” I mutter, crossing my legs. “Crazy. How are you feeling about it?” “I’m not really sure, to be honest. I told her we need to talk, that we can’t keep going back and forth like this, we need to be open with each other.” “Oh,” I say, feeling a strange tightening in my chest. “Are you going to go back then?” He sighs. “I’m not sure. I have to talk to her, I guess.” My heart thuds. I’m not sure why. I don’t understand how he could possibly want to take her back, after everything she’s done to him. Surely he knows she’d only do it again. There is no way she loves him if she’s able to do all the things she’s done. “Yeah,” I say, and I know my tone of voice has changed. I hate that. “You’re not angry at me, are you?” I’m not. I wish he didn’t think I was. You're able to see that someone is making the biggest mistake of their lives and yet you can do nothing to stop it. You’re standing in front of an oncoming train next to them, trying to scream it all in their ear, trying to tug them out of the way, all before the train hits. But they’re just watching the train, still believing in it, still so sure it’s going to stop. It won’t stop. No, it won't stop because trains don't stop at such speeds. They can't stop, they're incapable of it, it's just how they're made, so they're going to do what they were designed to, they're going to run right over top of you, and they're going to keep going, now even slowing down to see the damage they've left behind. “No, not at all,” I say, because honestly, I’m not sure what it is I feel. I am just so worried for him, but it isn’t my place to be worried, I barely know him. “As long as you’re okay.” “Yeah, not sure how I feel about it to be honest.”

“Well, let me know how it goes when you speak with her. Otherwise, how’s work?” “Good, long. Pays the bills.” I laugh. “That’s good.” “What have you been up to?” We chat for another hour, talking about anything and everything. We laugh a lot. And I can only hope that it makes him feel a little better. Because as much as I can see so clearly how this will end for him, I also know how much it fucking hurts to have your heart broken by someone you believed in. If she has any soul at all. She’ll let him go. But I can’t see her doing that anytime soon. Because selfish people only see themselves.

CHAPTER 8 I rub my eyes and walk to my front door, pulling it open to see Michael standing there. I blink a couple of times, confused. I’ve ignored his calls for the last week, having decided I wasn’t going to let him keep ruining my life, and now he’s here, standing at my door, looking like a lost little puppy. My heart starts pounding in my chest as I stare at him. His blue eyes lock with mine. And for the first time, I’m not entirely sure what I feel about him. “Michael, what are you doing here?” I ask, crossing my arms. “Can we talk?” he says, studying me. I sigh and push the door open wider, letting him in. He walks into my house and goes straight to the kitchen table, taking a seat. I join him, staring across the suddenly not big enough space. I shuffle my chair back, but he still seems too close. “What do you want to talk about?” “I was wrong,” he says. “I was so wrong. I was just scared. Scared of what I felt. Scared of what was happening. I didn’t mean those things I said, I swear I didn’t. I was just having a hard time. I miss you. I love you. I know I fucked up, but I want to give it another shot.” I stare at him. These words, they’re the words I’ve wanted to hear for the last three weeks, they’re the words I imagined in my head over and over, they’re the words he was supposed to say back then. I thought Michael was everything. I thought he was the right kind of man. Until I met Roman. Then I realised that Michael is as selfish and cruel as Roman’s ex. It’s up to me now whether I listen to my feelings and get hurt or have some self respect and tell him where to go. “You hurt me,” I say. “You really hurt me. There is no coming back from that. I’m not some toy you can just pull out of the closet when you feel like having a play, only to stuff it back in there when you’re done. I’m a person, I have emotions, and you didn’t once stop and think about those. Not once. Now you have changed your mind. I can’t help but wonder why that is? Did you get bored? Lonely? Decide I’ll do until you can find something else? What?” “I love you,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “That’s all there is to it. I love you. I wish I realised it sooner.” “You’re wrong. You don’t love me. Because I might not know a lot about love, but I know when someone owns your heart, truly owns it, they could never treat the other person the way you treated me. They couldn’t because of the love. You’re not in love with me, you just like the idea of me.” “You’re wrong. I do love you,” he argues. “No, you ‘think’ you do. I should have realised earlier it wasn’t real. You just don’t destroy people you love. Whatever we had, it was one sided. I cared far more about you than you did me.” He tries to reach across the table, but I jerk my hands back. “No. Don’t touch me.” “Please, Molly. Give me another chance. We can try it out. I can move closer, maybe move in. It’ll be good. I don’t want to lose you.” “You already lost me. The second you ended it without reason, and then weren’t there when I was struggling. That’s when it ended, Michael. There is no coming back from that. It hurt me.” “It hurt me, too,” he argues.

I raise my brows. “Really, it hurt you? Funny that it seemed like you had a great time just ignoring me and telling me to stay positive. Who the fuck says that, stay positive? What the hell is wrong with you?” “I was just trying to make it easier.” I shake my head. “No, Michael, you’re selfish. It’s all about you. Well, guess what? There are better things for me out there, things that aren’t so damned selfish.” “Molly ...” “Then there’s the fact that you basically told me I would open my legs to any man willing to give me some. Those words, they hurt me more than any other in my life. I might be a lot of things, but I am not a slut.” “I never—” “Get out of my house, don’t call me anymore, just let me go. Because honestly, it’s over. There will never be anything between us.” “Molly ...” “Get out, Michael.” He reluctantly stands, and I do, too. Following him to the door. I open it and put a hand against it, holding it open for him. He turns and studies me, and the ache in my chest explodes into raw pain. I can’t believe I gave so much of myself to this man. I wasted so much time, but mostly, I ruined pieces of myself for him. He leans down and before I can stop him, he kisses me. I keep my lips pressed together, my hand by my side, the other on the door, and I go stiff. I do not respond. He holds his lips there for a second before pulling back and staring down at me. “I know you love me,” he says. “I know you do. This isn’t over.” Then he disappears. I close the door, press my back to it, and slide down onto the ground, dropping my head in my hands. Then I cry. ~*~*~*~ I open the door and a huge smile spreads across my face as I see Roman standing, grinning down at me. I’ve missed him while he’s been away at work. I miss having someone to laugh with. The last few weeks with him have really helped. I hope they’ve helped him, too. “Hey, Bestie,” he says, brown eyes warm. “Do I get a hug?” Ah. Hell yeah. I step forward, and he wraps his arms around me. He’s so much taller than me, so my cheek only presses against his chest, just barely. He smells good. Again. I breathe that in for a second, squeezing him, then I pull back and look up at him. “Want a coffee?” He nods. “Yep.” We walk into my house, and he plonks himself down onto the chair. I start making coffee. “How’s things?” he asks. I turn around, pressing my back to the counter. “Not too bad, did I tell you Michael came over yesterday?” His brows go up. “Yeah? What did he want?” “He rambled on about loving me still and how he wants me back.” “You going to go back?”

I narrow my eyes. “What? Hell no. He hurt me. I’d never go back to that. I have more self respect than that.” I realise my words might come across as harsh, and quickly continue, “I don’t think I feel the same way about him anymore.” “Yeah,” he says, his voice a little less enthusiastic. I hope I didn’t offend him with that comment. “Do you think he’ll leave you alone?” I shrug. “I don’t honestly know. I blocked his number, but whether that’ll keep him away, I don’t know. Anyway, what about you? Have you spoken to twat face?” He laughs lightly. “Yeah, spoke to her this morning.” “And?” I urge. “Calm down, woman, if you let me talk I’ll tell you.” I grin. He rolls his eyes. “She basically said her feelings for me aren’t what they were before. I told her to just end it then, and let me move on, but she wouldn’t. She still won’t say the words, she still won’t completely let me be free. She still keeps me hanging on.” God. I hate her. “That’s so fucking annoying,” I mutter. “Seriously, if her feelings aren’t the same, and she doesn’t love you, then why the hell won’t she just let you go?” I know the answer to that, but I kind of want him to figure it out on his own. Some battles you can’t fight for other people. “I don’t know. I told her we’ll just be friends. I think she’s still with this other guy, she said something about him owing her money. That pissed me off.” So she’s staying with another man because he owes her money, yet she won’t let Roman go because he gives her support. This bitch needs a therapist. Stat. “You can’t be friends with someone that hurt you like that.” He glances at me. “I can’t just stop talking to her. I’m not that kind of person. I’ll always be there for her. I’m like that. I’m too nice sometimes.” I want to say something, but decide against it. I hope one day he’ll see that you can be a good person, you can be a giver, but you don’t always have to take crap from other people. When people treat you with disrespect, when they treat you like you’re nothing, when they don’t give a single good thing back, you can’t give them anymore than they give you. I hope he figures that out. I truly do, because as long as he keeps giving to her, she’ll always take. Because that’s what people like her do—they take take take. “Yeah,” I say, smiling. Time for a subject change. “My sister found herself a new boyfriend. He’s so freaking pretty.” “Show me a picture,” he says. I pull out my phone and scroll through until I find a picture, then I show him. He rolls his eyes and mutters, “That’s just rude. Look at him. He’s fucking perfect. I bet he has a perfect name, too.” “His name is TJ.” Roman snorts. “It doesn’t suit him. I’m calling him Calvin. He looks like a Calvin.” “Calvin Klein?” I giggle. He nods, grinning. “It’s ridiculous how pretty he is, hey,” I say, taking my phone back. “She text me this morning saying she’s bringing him over later to meet me for a drink. You want to come?”

Roman nods, eyes wide, massive grin on his face. “Hell yeah I want to come. I need to meet this man. I better go home and find my nicest shirt, he’s going to make me look like shit.” I laugh. “Pretty sure he makes everyone look like shit.” “You know what would be funny?” Roman says, and his eyes light up. I notice they do that when he gets excited about something. “I’ll just be sitting there, and mid conversation I’ll just pull my phone out and check my reflection in it.” I laugh. “Oh, my god, that would be so funny. You could wink at yourself, purse your lips, nod your head, really get into it. Then put the phone down and just keep talking to him.” Roman laughs. “I’d pay you fifty bucks to do that.” I chuckle. “I’m doing it.” “You’re an idiot.” I shake my head with a grin. I make him a coffee and slide it over to him. And we spend the rest of the morning laughing together. Laughter, it really is healing us.

CHAPTER 9 “What time are they coming over?” Roman asks me, after our fifth beer. He came over earlier than my sister and TJ, to have a few beers with me, but we’ve been sitting here for the last hour waiting for them, and our beer number is lining up. I’m well beyond tipsy, and so is he. “I have no idea, so much for being on time!” “They’re probably doing each other ’s hair,” he snorts. I burst out laughing. “Oh, my god, they probably are.” “Come out to my car,” Roman says, standing. “I have something for you.” I stand too. “Are you going to kidnap me and kill me, because that would be unprofessional. At least drug me first.” He laughs, grabbing my arm and pulling me through the house and onto the street where his truck is parked. We walk over to it and open the door, when we hear a voice behind us. We both turn to see my neighbour standing, smiling at us. She’s never come over and introduced herself, but she always waves to me when I’m passing by. “Hi,” she says. “I thought I’d come over and finally say hello. I never manage to catch you. I’m Amilie.” “Hi,” I say. “I’m Molly. This is Roman.” Roman steps up beside me and grins at her. “Have you both lived here long?” she asks, shifting nervously. She seems like the nervous type. “Oh, he doesn’t live here, he’s just my sex slave.” Roman makes a snorting sound in his throat, but doesn’t laugh. Amilie laughs nervously, like she’s not sure if we’re kidding or not. I’ll let her ponder that. “Have you lived here long?” Roman asks her, putting his charming smile on. Sucker. “Yeah, I had the house built. It’s a nice area,” she says, smiling at him. Double sucker. “I think I’ve seen your pussy running around.” I inwardly burst out laughing, and it takes everything to keep my face straight, especially when Roman looks over at me, a twinkle in his eye, waiting for my reaction. I hold my breath to stop the hysterical laughter from leaving my throat. “Oh,” she says, her face going red. “Yes, that’s my cat. Sorry if she’s been bothering you.” Breathe. Do not laugh. Do not. “Not at all, I’ve pet her a few times,” he says, and I swear my chest starts shaking with supressed laughter. I can’t hold it in. “Well—” she smiles, waving lightly “—I’ll talk to you later. Have a good night.” “Bye!” When she’s gone, I turn to Roman and thump his arm. “Oh, my god! I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t laugh,” he chuckles. “It was fucking funny.” “It took everything for me not to laugh, I swear. It was so hard. I’ve seen your pussy running around.” We both burst out laughing. I have to wrap my arms around my stomach to stop it shaking. “Poor woman. She’s probably wondering who the hell her neighbours are.” I nod, still laughing. “Yeah, I’ll get kicked out for being a nuisance. You’re bad for me, Roman. Seriously.” He grins, nods, and turns to the car, leaning in to get whatever it is he needed out. I glance over the road and see my elderly neighbour peering out the window. She hates me. I’m not entirely sure why. She’s a sour old thing with a poor attitude. She never says hello, she never even waves when I wave to her. Now she’s literally peeking through the blinds at us. With a wicked grin, I step up to Roman who is still bent over rustling through his truck. I grab his hips, and start thrusting. “Wha—” he starts, but I thrust into him to keep him from standing up. “Play along.” I keep thrusting, then I look over to my elderly neighbour and give her a cheerful wave. With a horrified look, she closes the blinds. I roar with laughter and let Roman go. He stands up, turning around and looking down at me. “Explain.” “The old lady over the road was spying on us, I just wanted to give her something to talk about.” Roman snorts a laugh. “By dry humping me?” “Yes, by dry humping you. Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” He chuckles. “You’re a fucking feral.” He thrusts something at me, and I raise my hands, catching it. I glance down, it kind of looks like a flag, maybe? “What’s this?” “Open it.” I open it and unfold it. It’s a large sign, made out of material. On it, it has a picture of Dr Seuss, with the text ‘Some people are cunts’. I squeal happily. “Oh, my god, this is so awesome!” “Let’s go hang it on your fence.” “Eeeeek!” We both run inside, like two rebellious teenagers, and rush out to my backyard to hang the sign on my fence. When it’s up, we both admire it. “Gosh, it’s beautiful,” I say. “Let’s get a picture.” “You go stand next to it,” Roman says, pulling out his phone. “I’ll take a picture.” I rush over, squatting down so I don’t cover the text. Then I give him a thumbs up. Laughing, he snaps a few photos. “It’s so cool!” I say, following him back onto the patio to continue drinking. “Where’s your damned sister? We’ll be drunk and in bed by the time she arrives.” I nod, rolling my eyes. “Right? She’s so painful.” “What’s Calvin’s real name again?” he says. “I’m totally going to call him Calvin by accident.” “It’s TJ.” Roman snorts. “Nope. It doesn’t suit him. Calvin it is.” I punch him in the arm. Then we keep drinking. ~*~*~*~

“Matilda, this is Roman. Roman, this is my sister Matilda,” I say, introducing my sister to Roman when she finally arrives with her overly pretty, overly girly boyfriend. “Nice to meet you,” she says. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Roman shakes her hand. “All good I’m assuming.” She nods, grinning. “Oh, of course. Molly would never tell me all the juicy details.” Roman glances at me, and I give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. “Roman, Molly, this is my friend TJ.” TJ steps forward, and he’s even prettier in real life than he is in the photos. Roman is right, he really does look like a Calvin Klein model. His hair is perfect. His skin is perfect. He’s just damned perfect. He’s also feminine as hell. Not my type. “Hi,” he says, extending his hand. Roman takes it, shakes it, and then drops it. I hope he squeezed some masculine into poor TJ. God knows he needs some. “Nice to meet you.” I smile. “Come, sit down.” “Have you two been drinking all afternoon?” Matilda says, staring at the line up of beer bottles on the table. “Yep, we sure have. We were waiting for you two.” “Nice sign,” TJ says, nodding at the sign on my fence. “Thanks.” I laugh. “Roman put it up for me.” “It’s awesome,” Matilda says. “It matches its owner,” Roman says, grinning at me. I flip him the bird. Matilda smiles at both of us. I lean over and turn on some music, and TJ starts singing straight away. And dammit, of course he can sing. I want to roll my eyes, but that would be rude. I look over to Roman, and he rolls his eyes. Yep, he’s thinking what I’m thinking. “You have a good voice,” Roman says. “You should be on a singing show.” TJ instantly lights up at the compliment, and starts going on and on about how he wants to go on one of those shows, but they’re all rigged and he wouldn’t get a fair chance. I shoot Roman an annoyed look, and he’s already laughing. Jerk. He totally knew what he was doing then. Now we all have to listen to pretty boy talk about his amazing voice for the next hour. I stand and go inside to get some snacks, and Matilda stands and follows me. “So?” she says, stepping up beside me. “Roman ...” “Yeah,” I say, glancing at her. “What?” “You two get along well.” “Yeah, we do.” “Especially considering you haven’t known each other long. It’s not awkward between the two of you at all. I could swear you have known him your whole life with the way you act around him.” I laugh. “Yeah, it’s weird, hey? I just feel like I’ve known him forever.” “He seems like a really cool guy.” “Yeah,” I agree. “He is. He’s good looking too.” She laughs. “Yeah, he is. Trust you to notice that.” I shrug. “I’m allowed to look.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m glad you have someone like him in your life. He seems genuine, and he’s funny.” “I know, did you hear his comment to Cal ... ah ... TJ?” She raises her brows. “I did, it was funny, and what’s Cal?”

“Okay, so.” I giggle. “He thinks your boyfriend looks like Calvin Klein, so he’s given him that nickname.” Matilda gushes. “He does look like Calvin, though. He’s so good looking. I honestly can’t get over it.” Inward eye roll. “Yeah. He’s too pretty for me. I’d want to beat him when he spent more time in front of the mirror than me.” She laughs. “You always did like the rugged ones.” I nod. “Roman seems rugged.” She wiggles her brows. I flip her the bird. “Stop it.” “Oh, come on, you’re both single. You should have some fun.” “We’re friends.” “Mmmmmhmmmm,” she says, raising and lowering her brows over and over. “My god, you’re painful.” “I’m your sister, I’m allowed to be. Come on, we better get back out there before Calvin torments Roman.” We both burst out laughing. Yep, this should be a good night.

CHAPTER 10 “Oh, my god, let’s do it!” Matilda squeals, running at me. “There is no way I can lift you.” I laugh. “No way.” “Come on,” she pleads. “It’s ... like ... epic!” “Go on,” Roman urges. “Do it. I’ll film it.” “Gah!” I giggle. “Okay. Let’s do it. But I’m laying on the ground for it, there is no way I can lift you.” “I’ll play the song,” Calvin says. He goes over to the speakers and plays around with the phone for a minute, then “Time of Your Life” from the movie, Dirty Dancing, comes on. I run out onto the grass and lie on my back, and in slow motion, Matilda runs over and throws herself on me. I lift her with my hands and legs, holding her in the air. We’re all laughing so hard I don’t know how I don’t drop her. “Oh, my god,” I giggle, letting her down. She flops down beside me on the grass. “That was amazing.” “I think we did it way better than the movie,” she chuckles. “You two are fucking crazy,” Roman says, huge grin on his face. “Have you ever seen an egg roll?” I ask him. His brows go up. “No.” “Do you want to?” He nods, holding up his phone again. Matilda and I both sit up, bringing our knees to our chest and wrapping our arms around them, then we let our bodies roll back. The position is meant to make you roll like an egg, but we kind of just splat onto the ground. “Pretty sure that’s not how an egg rolls,” Roman snorts. “Loser.” “Hey,” I say, trying again. “Don’t be a hater.” “You’re embarrassing yourself, it makes me feel sorry for you.” I flip him the bird, and try again. Flopping backwards again. “My God! I suck.” “Could have told you that,” Roman adds. I stand up and charge over to him, punching him in the arm. He roars with laughter. “You’re such a tosser.” “You love it.” I grin at him, and we both turn to see Matilda and Calvin climbing the fence. It’s a really high fence, but one side is easier than the other to get over. They hop down onto the other side and we can hear their laughter. “Ten bucks says he’s copping a feel,” I say to Roman. “He’s copping a feel all right. I just want to see them get back over the fence.” We both sit down, taking a beer, and we watch as Calvin lifts Matilda back over the fence. She climbs over, cheeks red, big smile on her face. Yep, she was getting felt up. “I don’t think Calvin will get back over that fence, the ground is lower on the other side, he’ll never be able to jump that high. Maybe this will be the moment he looks like shit. He can’t be that perfect,” I whisper to Roman.

“Yep, no way he can get over that. We’re going to watch him fall. And it’s going to be fucking hilarious. It’ll make me feel better about his perfection.” Grinning, Roman and I watch, waiting. Effortlessly, Calvin launches and lands on the top of the fence like it was no effort at all. Then he gracefully slides off the other side and lands on his feet. My mouth drops open and I look to Roman. Our eyes meet, and at the same time, we both roll them. Dammit. He’s perfect. The jerk. “Let’s go and get some food,” Roman huffs, standing. We both move inside to the kitchen. “Can you believe his perfection?” I say, opening the fridge and pulling out a steak. “It’s ridiculous.” I turn with the steaks in my hand, and Roman is standing in the kitchen, staring down at me. He grins, and his eyes are soft. It’s the first time I’ve really seen him with his guard down. He holds it up so tightly every other time, it’s nice to see him at ease. He stretches his hand out and gently moves a lock of hair off my face. My heart does something strange. It flutters. I redirect my eyes and smile, handing him the steak, because I honestly don’t know what else to do. It threw me. I mean, sure, I’ve felt a stirring for Roman, but I didn’t think it was the same for him. That was one of the nicest, simplest gestures any man has ever done to me. I felt it. Right down to my heart. We just had a moment. And I didn’t see it coming. ~*~*~*~ I flop down onto my bed and Roman lands on his back beside me, both of us lying side by side. It doesn’t feel weird, or awkward, or even wrong. It feels nice lying beside him, he’s a comfort I never realised I needed until now. I’ve missed having someone around who could make me laugh and enjoy life without any pressure. “That was the funniest night,” I say, staring at the ceiling. “Matilda is smitten with Calvin.” Roman snorts. “Well, it’s not a wonder. That kind of perfection should be illegal.” “True, but he has the personality of a sponge.” “Yep. Only so far looks will take you.” “Here here.” I roll to my side and stare at him; he does the same. Up close, his eyes are lighter than they first appear. They’re almost milk chocolate in their appearance. He reaches over and takes hold of my hand, curling it in his. Neither of us says anything. I’m not entirely sure what’s happening, but it feels nice. “I think Matilda thinks we’re weird.” I laugh. He grins. “Yep. Who cares anyway. At least we have fun.” “I think we laughed more than they did, honestly, I’m not sure people get our sense of humour sometimes.” “I don’t get our sense of humour sometimes.” “Tell me a funny story,” I say, rolling over onto my back again. “What kind of story?” he asks, putting his arms behind his head. “A sex story.”

He snorts. “Of course you’d want a sex story.” I laugh. “You’re getting to know me. You’ll get used to it.” He grins and I glance at the dimple in his cheek. Hot. “I’ll give you one of my most embarrassing sex stories.” I wave my hands to encourage him. “Okay, hit me with it.” “This friendship is weird,” he murmurs. I shove him. “Come on, don’t be a baby. Tell me your story.” “Okay, but if I wasn’t drunk you would never hear this story.” I rub my hands together. “So, I was only young, but I was with this chick. She was ... going down on me. I had figured that’s all we were doing, so I was rolling with it, you know?” I snort. “Of course you were.” “So, I’m nearly there, it feels pretty good, and she stops and says ‘are we going to have sex or not?’. So, being the young champion I am, I pull out a condom and give her what she wants. But it was over so fast it was embarrassing, because I didn’t think we were fucking so I got too close when she was giving me head.” I burst out laughing. “Poor girl, she must have been horrified. Spent all that time down there and then when I did give it to her, it was pretty well a failed attempt.” I keep laughing. “Fuck you.” “That’s so funny. Poor girl, you let her down.” He punches me lightly in the arm. “I was young, we all have one young, doesn’t last long, story.” “That’s true,” I snort. He rolls his eyes at me. “Tell me one of your embarrassing sex stories.” “I did,” I point out. “There has to be another one? Everyone has a couple.” “Not all of us are hobags.” He roars with laughter and rolls towards me. “Fuck off. You have to have at least one more.” “Nope. I’m a damned angel.” “You’re hornier than any man I know, surely there were a few wild nights?” I lock gazes with him. “Nope. I always knew the men I was with. I could never bring myself to just randomly sleep with people, the whole idea of it freaks me out.” He raises his brows. I thump him again. “Okay, well, tell me another funny story then, since you’re so frigid.” I shake my head. “I’m not frigid. Tosser.” He winks at me. “Come on, besties have to share these things.” “I didn’t know there was a Bestie rule book,” I throw back sarcastically. “There is now. Rule number one, besties have to share these things.” I think about it for a moment or two, trying to remember something funny. “Oh, I have one!” I grin. “Share, woman!” I scoff and he rolls, catching my leg between his and somehow pulling me closer so we’re face to face. “Okay,” I say, my heart pounding. “It’s not my sex story, because, I’m so good and all, but it is a friend’s.” He squeezes my leg with his, urging me on.

“Okay, pushy,” I huff. “So anyway, she went into the room to give this guy a blow job one night. They were in there for ages. Anyway, she came out and I swear to shit, she had a pubic hair stuck between her front teeth.” He starts chuckling. “That’s not the worst of it.” I laugh. “The worst part is that nobody told her, the entire night.” “Oh, my god, bitches!” He grins, winking at me. “I know, poor girl wouldn’t talk to us for a week when she found out.” “Don’t blame her.” I put my arm up under my head and stare at him. He stares back. “Why are you staring at me? It’s creepy.” I snort with laughter. “My god, this friendship is hilarious.” “We’ve discussed your stalker tendencies. Staring is one of them.” “Fine, I won’t look at you, loser.” He grins. “Go to sleep.” “You’re staying?” “Mmmmhmmmm.” That sound. Hot. “In my bed?” “Yep.” “Why?” “Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?” “All the time.” “Shhh,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and jerking me towards him so my face presses into his chest. For a minute, I just lie there, not sure what to do, then I finally relax in his arms. He told me he wasn’t very affectionate, so I’m surprised by this gesture. “I thought you didn’t cuddle,” I say. “I’m cold,” he murmurs. I stay there in his arms, it feels nice to have comfort after everything. He makes it feel natural, and not weird at all. My eyelids get heavy, and I exhale, relaxing further into him. Then he starts snoring. And I giggle in his arms. Yep, this is the best.

CHAPTER 11 I walk into the compound and am immediately grabbed from behind. My legs swing off the ground, and I giggle as familiar hands wrap around my waist. Jack. Always Jack. “Where have you been?” he asks, not putting me down. “Why haven’t you called? Molly. I swear. You’re being a terrible friend. What will I do?” “God, you talk too much,” I say. “Now put me down.” He puts me down, and I spin towards him. “I’m busy. Some of us have a life, you should try it sometime, oh wait, you’re too busy chasing a girl that doesn’t even like you.” He slaps his chest. “Burned. You cut me real deep, Mol. Real deep.” I shrug. “That’s what friends are for. Had anymore luck with the one you can’t obtain?” He sighs and we fall into step beside each other, walking towards the clubhouse. “She’s still playing hard to get. That’s all it is now, a game. I just know it. I’ll win her over. My good looks and charm are sure to do the trick eventually.” “Maybe ...” I point out waving a finger around. “Maybe she prefers pretty boys.” Jack gasps. “Are you saying I’m not pretty?” “You’re half pretty, bit girly if you ask me.” He thumps me. I grin. Jack is gorgeous, and he knows it. He knows I know it, too. “Molly!” I see Mercedes rushing towards me. She’s so pretty, with her long blond hair and those eyes that look just like her dad’s. Her father, Spike, is in a different club. It took a bit of adjusting, but she’s pretty much made herself at home here. “Hey, Mercy!” I smile, waving to her. She stops in front of me and looks up. “I haven’t seen you for ages! How are you?” “I’m pretty good. You? How’s Diesel? Treating you well?” She nods, cheeks flushing. “He always does.” Jack makes a gagging noise. “You shut up,” Mercy says to him, poking him in the chest. “At least I don’t have to stalk people to get love.” Jack gapes at her; I burst out laughing. “I thought we would be good as sibling in-laws, but you’re just a mean girl, Mercedes,” he says, crossing his arms. She steps up to him, putting her arm around his waist and snuggling in. “You love me, bro.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll leave you two to it, I’m going to find Mom.” I walk inside the club house and do my usual wave to everyone lazing about. I walk into the kitchen, where I know all the ladies will be preparing for the cookout tonight. I’m right, my mom, Ash—who is Phoenix and Quinn’s mom; Jaylah—Jack and Diesel’s mom; and Pippa—Kaylee’s mom —are all standing, yabbering as they prepare salads. “Ladies,” I say, walking in. They all stop talking and look to me.

“Good golly, miss Molly,” Jaylah sings. “You look radiant.” I shake my head with a soft laugh. “Only you could come up with something so incredible, Jaylah.” She shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a genius.” “She’s right, though,” Ash says, studying me. “You look really happy. What’s happened?” “Is it a boy?” Mom says, eyes getting wide. “Tell us,” Jaylah continues. “Tell us now,” Ash demands. “Tell us if you want,” Pippa says softly, always the soft, quiet spoken one. “No, Pippi,” Mom says fondly to her little sister. “No, she must tell us. There are no options here.” I laugh and slide my backside onto the kitchen counter. “That’s nasty, I hope those pants are clean,” Mom says, smacking my leg as she walks past. “Yes, Mother.” “Tell us!” Jaylah cries. “The anticipation is killing me.” “There’s nothing,” I say, throwing a hand up. “Seriously.” “There’s a man, isn’t there?” Ash questions, staring at me through her lashes, studying me. “He’s just a friend.” They all squeal in unison. “They’re never just friends, honey,” Mom points out. “That’s not true,” Pippa adds. “Boys and girls can be friends all the time.” “Thank you,” I say to Pippa, with a smile. “Blah blah,” Jaylah waves. “Continue. Who is this man? What’s his name? How old is he? Is he hot? Does he ride a bike?” I throw my hands up. “Okay, chill, I’ll tell you. His name is Roman, he’s a friend I met recently, yes he’s hot, and yes he rides a bike.” “Tell me,” Ash says, crunching on a carrot. “How does one simply be friends with a male?” I shrug. “I don’t know, we just are. It’s hard to explain, but we really do just get along so well. We met and it was never weird, we just clicked. It’s like I’ve known him forever. He’s going through a really hard break up.” “Poor guy,” Pippa says, frowning. “Is the girl awful?” I nod. “She can be. It sucks.” “Girls,” Mom huffs. “Bitches.” “Totally.” Jaylah nods. “Mmmmmhmmmm,” Ash agrees. “Who’s a bitch?” We turn and see Dad and Mack coming into the room, holding trays of burgers for later. “Women,” Jaylah says, smiling at Mack. “True,” he agrees. She flips him the bird. I giggle. I love their relationship. They’re the one couple I know that have something different. She drives him crazy, she talks way too much, she’s loud and sometimes annoying, but he adores her. He’s broody and quiet, a man that likes time alone, so they’re an odd match, yet they seem to work together perfectly. “Who’s being a bitch then?” Dad asks, coming over and winking at me as he passes to put the meat on the counter. “Her new flame’s ex,” Ash says, wiggling her brows.

My dad shoots a look at me. “Pardon?” I sigh. “He’s a friend. Stop stirring the pot, Ash.” She laughs. “Do I need to meet this man?” Dad asks, crossing his arms. When he does that, it makes him look massive, and scary. “No,” I grin at him. “I’m going to find the others. Carry on.” “This conversation isn’t over, girl,” Dad calls as I leave the kitchen. “Love you, Daddy!” I disappear down the hall to the room we all set up when we were growing up. It has televisions, a pool table, a few sofas, some video games, it’s basically teenager haven. We all used to spend so much time in here during our teen years. When we have cookouts, we still all come in here. “Yo!” I call, walking through the door. Phoenix and Quinn are head to head playing a video game, Kaylee is on the couch reading a book, and Matilda is sitting on Jack’s lap, poking his ear while he whines excessively at her. Just the norm. “Molly, what up?” Quinn calls, not moving his eyes from the television. “Not much, Quinn.” “Molly!” Jack yells. “Get your feral sister off me. She’s trying to put her filthy, dirty, nasty little wet finger in my ear.” “You’re on your own there, bro.” “I thought we were friends!” he cries as Matilda rams her finger in his ear again. I laugh and sit down beside Kaylee. “Hey, chicky, how’s it going?” She closes her book and smiles. “It’s going good, how are you?” “Not too bad, been busy with work.” “And a new boy, I hear.” “Matilda!” I call. “Have you been telling them all about Roman?” “Yes,” she says, her voice strained as she tries to fight Jack by slapping his hands away as he tries to protect himself and his poor ears. “I’m so glad you can keep a secret.” Quinn and Phoenix put the remotes down and stand, coming over and flopping down beside me on the couch. Matilda finally lets go of poor Jack and scurries over. “So,” Quinn says. “Tell us everything.” “Don’t leave a single thing out,” Phoenix adds. With a shrug, I tell them everything. And I don’t leave anything out. ~*~*~*~ “You’re such a tool, Maddox!” Ash says, flinging a bean across the fire at him. My dad catches it with a grin and shoves it in his mouth. “And you love it, woman.” “I do not love it. If Santana wasn’t my best friend in the whole wide world, I’d knock that grin clean off your face.” “Knock it off,” Mom adds. “Seriously, I’m fine with it. I’ve been wanting to do it for years.” My dad turns and gives her a grin so predatory even I shuffle backwards, then he hooks an arm around her waist and hauls her onto his lap. Then he leans in and bites her neck. She giggles, then squeals, before they get into a pretty intense kiss. “Gross,” I mutter, turning to Matilda, who is looking away now, too.

“Why must they torture us with their public displays of affection?” she groans. “It’s seriously gag worthy.” I snort. “So is watching you with Calvvvvvvin.” She flushes and nods. “I told him that’s what you guys call him. He thought it was pretty cool.” I roll my eyes. “Of course he did, the tosser.” She slaps me. “He’s not a tosser!” I nod, pursing my lips. “Total tossbag.” “I hate you.” “Yes, well, it’s my job to be honest with you, sissy.” She huffs. “Soooooooo.” “Sooooo, what?” She wiggles her brows. “You and Roman after we left the other night?” “Nothing happened.” “Pffft, as if.” “It didn’t.” “You two did fuck me eyes.” “We did not!” “Did so, right there across the table, fuck me eyes. I saw them.” I shake my head, grinning. “We did not give each other fuck me eyes. Those were just our eyes, it’s not our fault it looks like fuck me eyes.” “That was a lot of words, because you know it’s true, fuck me eyes were happening. Just do it. Get it out. Ride the pony.” I wheeze and lean over, laughing so hard I have to grab my belly. “Do not ever use that statement again in your life.” “Why? You’re single. He’s single. Ride the fuck out of him.” “Oh, my god, seriously, stop!” “Just saddle up and go to town, sister!” I turn and slap her arm. She’s laughing, too. Her eyes bright. “You’re a terrible sister.” “What are you two laughing about?” Mack asks. “Looks devious, like you’re up to no good.” “They’re talking about riding ponies,” Jack points out, and I turn, gaping at him. He’s grinning at me, then he winks. The asshole. “What ponies?” Krypt asks, brows going up. “Yeah, what ponies?” Dad says, narrowing his eyes. “Normal ponies,” I splutter. “Normal, fluffy, pretty ponies.” “Oh, my god, she’s totally talking about dick,” Phoenix yells, laughing boisterously. “Phoenix!” Matilda and I say at the same time. “There better not be any fuckin’ cock riding,” Dad growls, blue eyes flashing. “Calm down, Father,” Matilda says, waving a hand, but her cheeks are red. “Phoenix is just stirring the pot. There will be no riding of any—” she does air quotes “—‘ponies’.” “Good—” Dad begins. “In the next twenty-four hours,” she finishes. Everyone bursts out laughing, everyone except my father. He’s giving us both a death stare. God love him.

CHAPTER 12 I stare at the message, and my heart flutters. It’s been so long since anyone has said those words to me. Roman doesn’t come across as someone who would say something like that easily, and he really doesn’t seem like the type to use them to just get a girl to do what he wants. With a stupid, goofy smile on my face, I stare at the message again. R – Hey beautiful. My heart pounds as I respond. M – Hey spunky. R – How’s your day? M – Boring! How’s work? R – Boring! What have you been up to? M – I went to a cookout the other night, but otherwise I’ve just been here, living a lonely life, with no friends and no love. R – I’m sure you can get plenty of love. M – Of course. I’m on Tinder. I’m thinking that’ll work out for me. R – Get off there. I grin and my heart swells. M – Yes boss. I saw you on there. R – Yeah, it’s shit. Had to see what was out there. M – You’ll be murdered. And that’ll make me really sad because then who will I stalk? Don’t you watch the news? R – I watch the news. I’ll probably get stabbed. M – Oh, you’re getting stabbed. Totally stabbed. R – It’ll be right as I’m about to finish screwing some random I found on there. M – Right as you’re about to Spoof. I giggle at the word. R – Spoof! How funny is that word? Just look at it. Really look at it. Spoof. R – Spoof. R – Spoof. I’m laughing hard as I respond. M – Spoof. R – Spoof. M – Loser. R – Spooser. I lose it, dropping my phone and rolling around laughing. It takes me a good few minutes to get myself together enough to respond. M – Omg. Spooser. Gold. R – Funny hey! M – So good!

My phone rings after that, and I glance down to see it’s Roman calling. I pick it up on the second ring and listen as his voice comes through the speaker. “Hey,” he says, still sounding light from laughing. “Hey, Spooser.” He snorts. “Hey, Spoosie.” I giggle. “That’s even better. How’s your day?” “Shit. Long. Rather be at home.” “Yeah, I feel you.” “Why, do you miss me?” he jokes. But the truth is, I do miss him this time around. It’s the first time I’ve felt lonely without him here. Our friendship is developing fast. We get along, we like each other, we laugh a lot and it just feels ... normal. “Yeah, maybe, don’t let it get to your head,” I finally respond. He chuckles. “Yeah. How’s your sister and Calvin?” “Awesome, living life on the runway.” “Perfect fuckers. It’s ridiculous.” “Totally. How are you feeling? Things been good?” “Yeah, okay. Haven’t heard much from her in the last week, so it’s good. She’s probably off getting fucked by that other dickhead.” My heart twists, because I know how much that would hurt. There really aren’t many other feelings worse in the world, than thinking about someone you love in bed with another person. I can only imagine, and just imagining it makes my chest tighten with pain. It must feel terrible for him. “That sucks.” “What about you? Heard from Dickface?” “Eh,” I say. “He’s called a few times, but I don’t answer.” “You should answer, see what the idiot has to say.” “No,” I mumble. “Not worth it.” “True. Anyway, I have to get back to it. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I smile. “Okay.” “See ya.” I hang up and put the phone down. A text comes through only a few minutes later, and I giggle at what’s on the screen. It’s a sex swing. R – Do you have one of these? I flush. M – I used to. R – Nice. Which one? M – Um. There are different types? R – Yep. I googled them. There is a really good one. I hope you don’t have the crappy one. I’ll judge you heavily on the kind of swing you have. M – Oh my god. Spooser. Get back to work. He sends me a picture of himself, holding up the rude finger. I giggle and flick him one back. R – Oh my god, you’re beautiful. My chest swells and my cheeks get pink. The way he says that. It feels nice. M – Aw. Thanks. You’re pretty gorgeous yourself. R – Send me another picture. M – For your stalker collection? R – Yes.

I laugh and flick him some other pictures I have on my phone. It doesn’t feel strange to send these kinds of things to Roman. He just doesn’t make anything weird. R – You’re naturally pretty. Not many girls can say that. You don’t have to do anything to look beautiful. M – You’re a charmer, aren’t you? R – Why is it working? I grin. M – If I told you I’d have to kill you. I put my phone away with a laugh and continue getting ready for work. Then I head out for my shift. It’s long and leads me into the early evening. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted, so the last thing I want is to see Michael standing on my front steps, flowers in his hands. I exhale, shoulders dropping, and walk towards him. “What are you doing here?” I ask, crossing my arms, trying to keep him from entering my space. “I haven’t heard from you,” he says, scanning my face. “You’re not going to, either. I told you that, Michael. We’re over.” “If I truly believed that, I wouldn’t be here, holding these.” He thrusts flowers at me, but I don’t uncross my arms and take them. “Please leave.” “Come on, Molly, can we talk? Please?” “There’s nothing to talk about,” I say, keeping my voice monotone. “I’ve said everything I have to say.” “No, you’re angry at me and so you’ve shut down. I understand, but I love you, Molly. I want to fix this.” I shake my head, looking at him sadly, horrified I ever spent a single second longer loving him than I should have. “If you wanted to fix it, you would have tried harder. You would have fought. You wouldn’t have made me feel pathetic, but you did, you made me feel all of those things and you broke my heart. I had to go through that on my own. And I did. Without you. Now, I’m moving on.” “What’s that mean? Moving on? Are you seeing someone else?” I look away, not because I am seeing someone else, because I’m not, but because a part of me doesn’t want him to know about Roman. I don’t want him to tarnish that. It’s good. It’s real. It’s mine. He doesn’t deserve to know about it. “You are,” he says, taking my glance away as indication that I’ve moved on. “I can’t believe it. After everything I’ve done for you. After everything we’ve been through. You selfish ....” That’s it. I spin around and throw my hands in the air, then I lose it. I just lose it. “Who the hell do you think you are? I gave you months of my life, months! I loved you. I spent hours helping you. I gave you the best pieces of myself. I did it all because you mattered, yet when push came to shove, you’re the one who pulled away. You walked out without even a fight, you broke my fucking heart and you didn’t look back. You didn’t give me one good fucking thing, so you know what, if I’ve moved on, it’s because I deserve better. It’s because you don’t deserve a single second more of my attention and respect.” He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “Get away from my house before I call my father, who will make sure you don’t come back.” His eyes widen, and he nods, turning and rushing down the front path. Jerk. God damn him.

Angry tears burn under my eyelids, and I turn, storming inside. Hurt explodes in my chest, and I toss my purse across the room. How dare he? How dare he think that he can treat me like that, after everything we went through, then he has the nerve to come in here and act like he cares. He doesn’t care. The only person Michael has ever cared about is himself. I pull out my phone and slide down onto the floor, pressing my back against the wall. M – Michael came by again. R – Oh fuck. What happened?? You okay?? M – I don’t know. I think so. I’m so angry. After everything he did, he honestly thought he had another chance. R – Does he? M – No. He doesn’t. I don’t care if he thinks he loves me, I’m tired of wasting my time on people that don’t give a crap. I want to move on. I told him to leave me alone. R – You think he will?? M – I hope so, it’s getting old  Anyway, how are you? R – I’m okay. Just got back to my room. I’ll call you. I clutch the phone in my hand, waiting for his call. When it comes, I answer it quickly. “That was fast.” He laughs, sounding tired. “You sound like crap.” “Long day. How are you, spoosie?” I sigh. “Feel like shit after that conversation, but I’m glad he seems to have finally taken a hint. I just want to move on, you know?” “Yeah. I hear you. How was work?” “It was long. I’m thinking of taking up a new profession. How do you think I’d go being a prostitute?” He laughs. “You talk way too much, they’d be out of there before they were even half way through.” I laugh, feeling better instantly. “What about a sex line operator?” “Good job, but again, you talk too much. Some poor guy would be jerking off and asking you to talk dirty, and you’d just be telling him about the time you dribbled syrup on your shirt.” I burst out laughing. Trust Roman to always make me feel better about things. “Thanks for making me laugh, Bestie.” “That’s what I’m for.” “You excited to come home tomorrow?” I tease. “You miss me?” “Yeah, I miss you,” he says. My heart swells. “Really?” “Of course.” His voice goes soft when he says that, and something stirs in my chest again. A feeling that’s beginning to scare me. Neither of us are in a position to get feelings for each other, so doing it will only cause problems, but it seems we’re not getting much of a choice. Take it easy, Molly. Just take it easy. “Aw, anyone would think you like me,” I say. “Yeah, you go all right.” I laugh softly. “What are your plans when you get home?” “Drink beer.” I roll my eyes. “Typical.” He chuckles. “I get in at lunchtime, but come over and see me tomorrow afternoon. Have a beer.”

I smile. “Okay.” “Okay, beautiful. I’m going to go. Have a good night, okay?” I smile. A real smile. “Okay. Goodnight.” Just like that, he fixes all the hurt and makes it feel better. Just. Like. That. ~*~*~*~*~ “Hey,” I smile, walking into Roman’s backyard with some beer in my hand. He looks up from what he’s doing, and he smiles. Gosh, I really did miss him. “Hey,” he says, eyes dropping to my top. “Nice top.” “Thanks.” I sit down and he slides me a beer as I put mine in the fridge. “How you doing?” I crack the beer and lean back in the chair. “Good. How are you?” “Glad to be home.” “Want to hear a really funny, really embarrassing story?” I say, taking a sip of my beer. His eyes light up. “Um, fuck yeah!” “Okay, don’t laugh,” I say, then roll my eyes because he’s totally going to laugh. “But this morning I had a bed frame delivered. Mine broke, so I needed a new one. Anyway, the men delivering it, put it together for me. So, all my sex toys are in a drawer by the bed, and they moved the drawers so they could get easier access to assemble the bed and ... Roman, stop laughing.” He’s already chuckling, like he knows where this story is going. “Go on.” He grins. “Tell me the rest, hobag.” “Oh, my god, you’re lucky you’re not close enough to smack,” I say, then continue. “Anyway, so when they moved the drawer, one of the toys must have moved and turned itself on. The next thing I know, my drawer is vibrating. Everyone just went silent. We all looked at each other. And they knew. They. Knew.” Through his panting and laughing, Roman asks, “What did you do?” “I ran over and slammed my hand on the table, so hard. It stopped it, but it was too late. I rushed out of there so fast. It was terrible.” Roman laughs harder. “Shut up, tosser,” I giggle. “That’s the best fucking story I’ve ever heard.” “If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” He grins. “I won’t tell a soul. Slut.” I thump him, and he laughs harder. “You’re lucky we’re friends, or you’d be dead in a ditch right now,” I threaten, drinking some more beer. “Lucky for you. I’m awesome, with or without you.” I roll my eyes. He grins at me. I’m so glad he’s home. “So ...” he says. “What toys have you got?” I squirm, and look away, flushing. Dammit. I never blush. I drink more beer then look back at him. “I have this really cool one, called the womaniser.”

His brows go up. “Details.” “Well,” I say, crossing my legs as something flares between them, “it gets you there in, like, thirty seconds.” He snorts. “Whatever. What is it? A giant dick?” I scrunch my nose up. “Do you know nothing about women?” He winks. “No, actually, it’s kind of like ... it sucks your clit into the end of it, and that’s it, but it’s ... ah-mazing.” “That’s it? It sucks your clit? Any man can do that for you.” “Not with this force he can’t.” He grunts. I smirk. “Jealous?” “Of a toy, hardly. So, how many times a day do you use this womaniser?” “If I’m deprived, which I currently am, then probably twice, on average.” “Hobag.” He grins, but there is something in his eyes. Oh. Oh, God. Fuck me eyes. I’m taken by surprise. I mean, I’ve thought about fucking him for sure, because, hell, he’s great looking and I adore him, I just didn’t realise he was thinking the same thing. I mean, we’re both not ready for anything serious, could we just have a bit of fun? Would friends with benefits work for us? I drop my head down, staring at my beer as I think. My hair falls down either side of my face, and a second later, I feel his fingers gently stroke through it as he moves it out of the way and tucks it behind my ear. I shiver and look up at him. Those eyes. That face. The way he smells. My sex drive is in overdrive just thinking about what it would be like with him. What would it hurt? He leans forward and neither of us do anything to stop it, or pull back. His lips find mine, and he tastes as good as he smells. The kiss is soft. It lingers just a little. Then he pulls back. “Are we doing this?” I ask, meeting his eyes. “I’ll be honest, after the break up, I’m not ready for anything serious just yet, but I like you. I don’t want to use you, but I can’t promise anything more than this right now.” “I’m not ready for anything serious, either, so I’m okay with that.” And that’s the truth. I know a lot of girls say that and don’t mean it, but the fact of the matter is, I’m enjoying not having the drama of a relationship. I could see myself with someone like Roman down the track, but for right now, I’m happy for us both to just ... get it out. “I want it.” He stands and takes my hand. I expect him to lead me inside, but he leads me out into the yard and towards the shed. “Where are we going?” “You’ll see.” He opens the shed and I see a gorgeous old red car. I smile. God. Yes. I’ve always wanted to to know what it would like to lay in the back of an old car, smelling the leather, feeling my skin press against it as a man fucked me. God. I’m depraved. “The car?” I breathe. “The car.” “Yes.”

He opens the door and murmurs, “In.” I climb in, and he slips in beside me, sitting next to me. “So, this is kind of weird, right?” I say. He doesn’t answer, he turns towards me, grabs my face, and kisses me. This kiss is deeper than the last, our tongues touch, our mouths collide, and fuck he tastes good. I reach up and tangle my fingers into his hair, it’s thick and God, I love pushing my fingers through it. Our kisses become more frantic, and it isn’t at all what I thought it would be. It’s so much better. His hands slide up under my shirt and find my bra. He jerks it up and his fingers find my nipple. I gasp. God, that feels good. So good. His fingers are long, soft, fucking amazing. I squirm and shuffle out of my jeans, tossing them somewhere on the floor. His free hand drops down between my legs, and slips beneath my panties. Oh. Fuck. Yes. “You’re wet,” he murmurs against my lips. “I can’t help it,” I gasp as he slides one finger inside me. Fuck. He thrusts, and my hands frantically go towards his jeans, unzipping them. I reach inside and find his cock. It’s hard. It’s beautiful. It’s thick. Yep. This will be pretty incredible. I stroke a few times, he thrusts his fingers into me, and our gasps and moans fill the small space we’re in. I love the sound. I love how the windows are slowly fogging up from our breaths, from our heat. Roman pulls back and takes hold of me, repositioning me so that he can lay back. I half fall on top of him, his cock still in my hand. “Are you expecting something?” I say, stroking a few times. “Yeah. You going to suck that or not?” I grin at him. Only Roman. Then I do as he asks—I lower down and touch my lips to the head of his cock. I part them and slip it into my mouth. My entire body comes to life as I slide down, taking him in, then coming back up. I create a rhythm and he makes a sexy sound in his throat, maybe a moan, maybe a grunt, either way, it’s hot. His fingers go down and tangle in my hair. Fuck, I love that. One hand slides to my cheek and he strokes a few times before tangling it back into my hair. I’m turned on. So incredibly turned on. “Are we going to fuck?” I breathe, lifting up and looking at him. He moves quickly, flipping me so my back hits the seat and he comes down over top of me. I shiver as I look up at him. I can’t see much, just the shadows of his face, but it’s a gorgeous face, even with only the faintest light touching it. I reach up and stroke my fingers over his stubble, then I bring him down for another kiss as he takes his cock, pressing it right where I need it. Then he thrusts. I arch. He groans. Fuck, that feels good. I put my foot up, pressing it to the front seat of the car, pressing just slightly so my hips will tilt up. And then it hits. Right there. I’ve never orgasmed before, I’ve come close, but it just never seems to touch the right place. But whatever he’s doing ... it’s touching it. I gasp and hang onto his bicep, moaning as he keeps rubbing over that spot. “I’m going to come,” I whimper, slapping my hand down onto the leather seat. “Oh, fuck.” He thrusts harder, deeper, and it happens. I arch up, pleasure explodes inside me, and I come. I come like I’ve never come before. It takes me a few moments to come down from the incredible high.

My body trembles, my skin prickles and everything feels alive. Roman pulls back, sliding out of me so he can press his back against the seat. He pulls me onto his lap, and I happily go. “You didn’t ...” I say. “Soon,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to mine again. I kiss him, deep and then soft. Intense, and then in small pecks. I reach up, tangling my hands in his hair and tugging his head back just slightly. “You have amazing hair.” I sigh, loving how it feels. “So thick.” “I’ve got Maltese in me,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling his head out of my hands so he can press his face into my neck. I let him do that, just for a moment, and then our lips find each other again. We kiss. God. Kissing him is incredible. I shift, just slightly, and I can feel his erection between my legs. I raise up, and his cock slides right where we both need it. Then slowly, I lower down. I gasp as he fills me. It feels incredible. “Fuck,” he mumbles, reaching down and grabbing my ass. Then I start grinding against him, slow at first, and then faster as we both feel the intensity building. God. It feels incredible. I feel another orgasm building inside me, and I clutch his arms, dropping my head into the nook of his shoulder and keeping the rhythm. It feels so good. So fucking good. I gasp as another orgasm rips through me, this one stronger than the last. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Roman squeezes my ass and jerks his hips upwards, and the soft breath he releases near my ear makes me shiver and clench around him. Our release almost perfectly timed. And equally as amazing. “That was awesome,” I whisper, turning and pressing my lips against his neck. “Mmmmmhmmmm,” he murmurs, huskily. I go to climb off his lap, but his arm goes around my waist, and he stops me, pulling me closer. Heart expanding, I wrap my arms around his neck, and he squeezes me, hugging me so hard my breath is knocked out of me for a second. We just sit there like that, hanging onto each other. And I realise that we both need it. For whatever reason, we need it. So I just let him hang onto me. And I hang onto him. And we shove our broken pieces back together, even if they don’t go back together quite the same, we still try. And for a while, it feels incredible.

CHAPTER 13 “That is not how you play air guitar!” I laugh, throwing a chip across the table at Roman, who is doing a poor impersonation of an air guitar. “Yes, Spoosie, it is.” “No, Spooser, it isn’t. You suck. You’re embarrassing yourself.” He keeps playing his terrible air guitar and grins at me, cheeky, gorgeous. “We can’t be friends if you don’t play with me.” He wiggles his brows. “No.” “Play it, you know you want to, the music is calling to you.” “Nope.” He keeps playing, wiggling from side to side, and I can’t help it, I lift my arms and start playing air guitar with him. We both laugh, doing, what is, without a doubt, the worst air guitar playing in the entire world. “We’re terrible.” I laugh, putting my arms down. “No, you’re terrible, and you’re making me look bad.” I snort and flip him the bird. “Want to hear a funny story?” I say, wiggling my brows as I move into his kitchen and stir the food he’s cooking for us. “You’ve always got a funny story, and I’m always wanting to hear it,” he says, slapping my hand away from his cooking. “You’re doing it wrong,” I tease. “Shut it, tell me your story before I hurt you.” I grin at him, and sit down on a nearby stool. “So, there I was this morning, out in my yard, bringing my trash out. It was windy. I was wearing a dress. I also wasn’t wearing any panties. I saw my neighbour, I waved, and then leaned down to move my hose when the wind came in ...” Roman grins. The devil. “And my dress blew up, right up, and showed my entire ass to my male neighbour.” Roman laughs, shaking his head. “He got the whole view, yeah?” “The whole thing. Ass. Lady parts. All of it.” “Admit it,” Roman says, grinning and walking over beside me, “you didn’t accidentally lean over.” He pretends to be me and walks over leaning down really slow and sticking his ass in the air. I burst out laughing. “Oh, look,” he says in his girly voice. “My hose is on the ground, I must pick it up. Ooops, is that my dress blowing up.” He stays leaned over, and then stands in slow motion. “Oh, hi, neighbour. How nice to see you.” “You’re a jerk!” I laugh, tossing another chip at him. “Seriously. It was an accident.” “Sure it was.” He wiggles his brows. “It was.” “Well, looks like you’ve acquired a new stalker now. My job here is done.” I huff, but I can’t wipe the smile off my face.

“I don’t know why we’re friends sometimes,” I joke. “You’re a dick.” “Yes. Thank you.” I throw another chip at him, he catches it and pops it into his mouth. I roll my eyes and stand, walking past him to get another drink, but he catches me around the waist and hauls me against him. Then he brings his lips down over mine, kisses me softly, and lets me go with a grin. God. He can be charming when he wants, I’ll give him that much. I get another drink, with a stupid grin on my face, and then go join him on the sofa. I turn slightly and face him, and for a second, he studies me. It’s nice to have someone looking at me like that. “You’re really pretty.” I flush. “Ah, thanks.” “Nah, seriously, I know I have said it before but you have a natural beauty. I don’t know many girls that can get away with not wearing any makeup and look as good as you.” I smile. “I’ve never been into makeup.” “You don’t need it, you’d be crazy to wear it.” “Your ex wear it?” He rolls his eyes. “Of course. She had to put her face on every morning.” “Ah, fair enough.” “I didn’t care, but, there was this one time when I was visiting her on the coast and a hurricane was coming. I said to her, go to the store and get some batteries, food, a flash light, things like that while I was tying everything down. When I called her a few hours later, asking where the hell she was, she told me she was shopping for makeup.” I blink. He’s kidding ... right? “You’re joking?” He shakes his head. “Nope. I was so fucking angry.” “Wow, that’s just ... wow.” There's something about the world, about people, about love, that I'll never understand. I'll never quite grasp how a person can be selfish, cruel, manipulative, a liar, a cheat and an all round despicable human, yet they're the ones that are loved, deeper than most. They're cherished. They get chased. They get fought for. Why? What is it about those people that keeps others hanging on so tightly? What is it, about an ugly soul, that gives them all the good in the world? And why is it, I wonder, that the beautiful souls always get left behind? “Can I ask you something?” He nods. “What, exactly, did you love so much about her? Honestly, I don’t understand. Everything you’ve told me, even from the second you met, has made me think she’s nothing but a cruel, heartless person. So what made you fall so hard?” He studies me for a moment. “I don’t honestly know. I can’t really list the good qualities in her, and that’s the worst part. I’ve always known, deep down, that she wasn’t a good person.” Then why? I just don’t understand. Is it that his self esteem isn’t where it should be, and he thinks that’s the best he can do? Is it purely because she’s attractive, and he thought that was a score? How can you honestly love someone, with every piece of your heart, when they’re such a terrible person? How does one’s heart even open enough to let that kind of ugliness inside? “You think I’m crazy,” he says. “No,” I shake my head. “I just ... I just don’t get it, I guess.” He sighs. “Sometimes I don’t, either, but I just couldn’t stop how I felt.”

“No, I understand that.” “I’m not always the easiest person either,” he admits. I turn towards him some more. “How do you mean?” “I’m just ... not always nice.” “You can’t say that and not explain, so come on, spill. I’m your Bestie, you have to tell me.” He smiles, weakly. “Sometimes, I could just be a jerk. I get like that. Sometimes I need space and alone time, there are times I’m not affectionate, and I can be, cold, I guess.” “That’s it?” His eyes flash to me. “I’m not always nice, that’s not fair.” “So, those things you listed, you think that means you deserved the things she did to you? You think that because sometimes you’re a jerk, and sometimes you want to be alone, that you deserved that?” He stares at me, like he’s shocked. “No, I guess I didn’t.” “There’s no guessing. You didn’t. We all have personality flaws, Roman. Some of us are too emotional, too angry, too mean, too clingy, too needy, too hard, too soft, but what she did, those weren’t personality flaws, that was just an ugly heart that cared only for itself. There is a big difference.” “If only everyone looked at the world the way you do. You’re a good person, Molly. Don’t change that.” “Well, I think you’re a good person, too.” “I am now, I wasn’t always.” “Maybe,” I say, shuffling closer so he can wrap an arm around my shoulder. “But you are now, and that takes some guts, Roman. It takes strength to be able to admit you were wrong and become a better person. Not everyone has what it takes to do that.” “Mmmm,” he murmurs into my hair. I tilt my head back up and look up at him, our eyes holding. His eyes. I’ve met so many people in my life, but none have ever spoken so deeply through their eyes. The kindness and passion that lies beyond those brown depths, it runs deep. He runs deep. More so than I think he knows sometimes. He drops his head and kisses me. It’s slow, soft and long. Our fingers tangle with each others and our mouths press together, lips moving, tongues dancing. It’s an incredible moment. It feels good. Real even. I pull back first, lips swollen in the best possible way. Roman cups my jaw and tilts my head back, looking into my eyes again. “I’m going to go home,” he murmurs. “Okay,” I whisper. “Okay, beautiful.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, then gets up and leaves. My heart expands. And it’s starting to scare me. ~*~*~*~ I walk up to my front steps, exhausted. I’ve been at work all night, and honestly, I’m tired and more than ready for bed. I reach for my door when a voice comes from the dark. “Molly.” It’s Michael. And I can already tell by his voice that he’s drunk.

I squint, and he slowly emerges from the shadows, bottle of beer in his hand, swaying slightly. Just great. This is the last thing I need. “What are you doing here, Michael?” I say carefully, not wanting to make him angry. “I wanted to see you,” he slurs, putting a hand on the porch railing to stop himself falling over it. “Yeah, well, you’re drunk. You should call a cab and go home.” “We need to talk.” “No,” I say, turning and pulling my keys from my purse. “We don’t.” I put the key to the lock to open the front door, but his hand curls around my bicep and he pulls me back. My keys drop the ground with a loud clinging sound. I look up, trying to jerk my arm from his grips, but he’s got a tight hold on me. “Let me go,” I say, my voice stern, but inside, fear is creeping up into my chest. “We need to talk. You won’t talk to me.” “Let me go, Michael.” He sways a little, but he doesn’t pull his hand from my arm. “If you won’t talk to me, I’ll make you.” I shiver all over and try to pull my arm back again. “I said no, Michael. Let me go.” “Come on, Molly.” “Let me go!” I demand. “No,” he barks, jerking me so I stumble forward. He takes a staggering step back and wraps an arm around my waist. “I love you. I want to talk. Why won’t you listen to me?” Fear lodges itself deep in my throat, and for a second, I feel like I can’t breathe. I try to squirm free, but he’s holding me so tightly, his fingers wrapped about my bicep, his arm around my waist. “Michael, I’m asking you to let me go, please.” “I just want to talk,” he says, turning his head to the side and breathing in my hair. I want to vomit. “Let me go, right now!” I screech, using all my strength to jerk backwards. He stumbles enough that he has to release me to try and catch his balance. I reach for my phone, frantic. He takes a step forward, yelling, “Just listen to me!” “No,” I cry, holding my phone out. “Don’t come near me.” “Who are you calling?” he asks, eyes wide. “If you’re calling your father ...” “Take another step, I’ll scream.” “Don’t call your father!” He lunges, I take a step back but he catches me around the wrist, causing my phone to fling out of my hand and skitter across the ground. This just went from a drunk fight to something so much more. “Let me go!” I scream. “Stop being such a bitch!” he hisses. “If you’d just listen.” “Let me go.” “Listen!” “Let me go!” “God dammit,” he roars, pulling his hand back and swinging. His hand connects with my face so hard my head jerks to the side. It takes a few stunned moments for me to realise what’s happened. Pain explodes in my temple, and I sway on my feet as my vision blurs. That was a hard hit, and God, it kills. “Molly, oh shit, I didn’t mean to ... I didn’t ...” “Leave,” I gasp through the pain. “Right now, Michael. If you don’t, I’ll call my father and he will kill you. Walk away, leave me alone, never come back.” He nods, pressing his hands together. “I’m so sor—”

“Leave!” I scream. He turns and runs down the stairs, tripping and stumbling a few times before he disappears down the street. In somewhat of a daze, I turn towards the door and stumble towards it, only to realise my keys are on the ground somewhere. I lean down to pick them up and stumble as my head spins. I drop onto my knees, turn my body and press my back against the wall, then angry tears rush down my face. Damn him. What kind of crazy person is he? I drop my head into my hands, and my face burns, my temple throbs, and my heart aches. It takes me a few minutes of quiet sobbing to get myself together, then I reach around for my phone. I dial Jack. Roman is back at work, and I have nobody else I trust. “Hey, sista!” he answers cheerfully. “Hey,” I croak. “Can you come over?” His voice instantly sobers. “What’s wrong? What is it? Molly?” “Can you just ... come over, Jack?” “Of course.” I hang up the phone, push to my feet and turn, opening the door after a few failed attempts. I stagger into the house and flick on the light, then I drop down onto the sofa and try to control the tears. I’ve never been hit by anyone before, let alone a man. A man I once loved. My heart feels like it’s splitting in two, I could swear it hurts more than my head. A few minutes later, the front door swings open and Jack comes in. His eyes swing to me and rage flares in them. He might be more like his mother, but he has Mack’s temper. He’s calm most of the time, but when he explodes, he loses it and it can be a little scary. “Where the fuck is he?” I blink. “Jack ... what?” “Where is he?” He storms over and kneels down in front of me, taking my chin in his hand and tilting my head back. “What makes you think it was a he?” I croak. “Because of the way you sounded on the phone? Who did it?” “It doesn’t matter.” “It was that fucking ex, wasn’t it?” “Jack, please ....” “I’ll fucking kill him. I will.” “Please,” I croak and my voice breaks. Tears run down my cheeks. Jack’s eyes soften. “Shit. Sorry Mol. I’m sorry. Come on, can you stand? We need to get some ice on this.” He wraps an arm around my waist and helps me stand. On shaky legs, I walk to the kitchen where he sits me down and then carries on to get some ice in a washer. He dampens it just slightly under the tap and brings it over. “Really close to your temple there, Mol. I think you should get that checked out.” “It’s fine, it’s okay. It looks worse than it is, I’m sure.” “Seriously, though ...” “Jack,” I plead. “Please. I’ll go if it gets worse. Can you ... Can you just sit with me?” He nods, eyes concerned. He knows not to argue with me. “I’m staying then, I can’t have anything happening to you. And if that fucker comes back ...” “He won’t,” I say, letting him help me down the hall to my room. “He’s too afraid of my dad. He’ll skip town, I can guarantee it.”

“Fucking piece of shit, hitting a woman.” “Yeah,” I croak. Jack lets me go for a second, and pulls back the bed covers. I sit on the mattress, and he kneels down, pulling off my shoes. “I’ll get you some painkillers and water, get into the bed, okay?” I nod, trying to fight back the tears that keep threatening to spill over. “Yeah, okay. Hey, Jack?” He looks at me. “Yeah?” “Will you stay with me?” “I already told you I would.” “I mean, will you stay in here with me. I’m ... afraid.” He nods. “Fuck. Of course. I’ll be back soon.” He disappears and I shakily change into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, then I climb into the bed, pressing the ice to my eye. It hurts like hell, and I wince as the cold penetrates my skin. Jack returns a few minutes later with a couple of pills and a glass of water. He hands it to me, and I drink it as he jerks off his shirt, dropping his jeans until he’s only in his boxers. Then he climbs into the bed beside me. We’re both sitting, backs against the headboard. “What happened?” he asks, shuffling closer. “He was drunk. He wanted to talk. We got into a bit of a scuffle, and he just slapped me, but it was so hard.” “I can see that. Fucking piece of shit,” Jack mutters. “Yeah.” “You okay, Mol?” I look to him, and my bottom lip trembles. “Aw, come here.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer, tucking me into his side. I snuggle into him, so grateful to have him in my life. Jack and I have never had any romantic interest, we thought about it once but we honestly both just never felt the need for it. We always had such a great friendship. It’s different to what Roman and I share. Roman and I, we connect on a far deeper level than Jack and I ever have, but Jack and I, we understand each other. He’s like my big brother, in a non-creepy way. “You want to lay down?” Jack asks. I nod, and we shuffle down until we’re on our backs. He reaches down with his free hand and pulls up the covers, then he rolls slightly to his side and wraps me in his arms. “Listen to me, Molly. No one will ever hurt you again. I won’t allow it. I’m so sorry this happened.” “Thank you, for being here, for coming when I called.” “I’ll always come when you call,” he murmurs. “Always. You’re my best friend.” “Yeah,” I whisper, feeling my eyes getting heavy as the painkillers start working. “Me too.” He reaches over and flicks off the lamp, and the room goes dark. “Jack?” I whisper into the darkness. “Yeah?” “Don’t let him come back.” He squeezes me tighter. “I won’t. You have my word. You’re safe.” Safe. Yes. Always.

CHAPTER 14 I gasp and arch my hips up, gripping onto the bed sheets as pleasure skyrockets through my body. Roman’s fingers dig into my thighs as his mouth consumes me, licking and sucking, making me feel things I’ve never felt before. Releasing my thigh, he slides two fingers inside me and keeps sucking until the most incredible orgasm rips through my body. Gasping his name, I shudder, loving every single second of it. He pulls away from me and slides his body up mine, nudging my legs even further apart as he positions himself against me, slowly pushing his cock inside. More pleasure engulfs my body and I reach up, gripping his arms and squeezing just slightly as he starts thrusting. Fuck. He feels good. I can feel the head of his cock rubbing over that spot inside me, sparking it to life. It’s as if he was made exactly for me, touching all the parts no other man has before. “God, fuck,” I whimper, squeezing his biceps. “That feels so good.” He makes a throaty sound and presses his lips to mine. I can taste myself on him, and I love it. I kiss him, long and deep, and he drops his chest down so it’s against mine, wrapping his arms tightly around me so our bodies are flush together. Then he keeps fucking, slow, then fast, then back to slow again. “I’m going to come,” I gasp, hanging onto him, loving the way he tastes, the way he smells, the way he feels. “God.” “Come on,” he encourages, his voice soft but husky. “Come for me.” I do, exploding around his cock, trembling and gasping as the best kind of pleasure releases into my body. Roman keeps going, driving deeper, pushing his cock in further, bringing me to the edge again. “One more,” he growls, fucking me harder, our hips slapping together. “Come on.” I cry out his name and come again, shuddering, gasping, clutching his back with one hand and tangling my fingers into his hair with the other. Roman has more stamina than any man I’ve met before, pulling out, he flips me over onto my hands and knees, running his hands down my ass. “You have a fucking lovely little ass.” I flush, still panting, and moan with delight as he slides into me again. His fingers curl around my hips, he makes a pleased sound in his throat, then he starts fucking me again. I slap the headboard, crying out as pleasure continues to shoot through my body. Roman makes a satisfied sound, somewhere between a grunt and a moan, and starts fucking me with a force I didn’t know existed. I drop down to my elbows, my head lowers and I scream in pleasure as his hips drive him deeper. I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m absolutely going to come again. This time I think he might just come with me. My forehead hits the headboard as I raise up to gasp his name, and the slight pain only makes it feel that much better. Our frantic panting and groaning combines until we’re both hanging on the edge. “Oh god, fuck, yes!” I scream as another orgasm finds me, this one more powerful than the two before it. “I’m going to come,” Roman grunts, and then a breathy growl leaves his throat as he explodes inside me.

For a few minutes, neither of us move. I flop forward eventually, and he rolls off, dropping down beside me on the bed. “Holy fuck,” I whisper. “That was awesome,” he murmurs. I roll to my side and curl a hand around his bicep. He shifts, catching me in his arms and pulling me closer. I love the way his chest feels against my cheek. Roman makes me feel safe in a way no one ever has before. There is something about him. Something that makes him feel like home. I never told him about Michael slapping me, and by the time he got back from work, the bruise was gone. I didn’t want to worry him. He has so much going on in his life. “What is this...” I dare to ask. “That we’re doing here?” He’s silent for a minute, then he murmurs, “I’m not really sure. I like you a lot...” My chest tightens, but at the same time I’m in full understanding of what he’s trying to say. It feels nice not to have any drama, or any commitment at this stage. We’re both too raw still from our previous break ups. Still, I know enough to know these situations can get messy if two people aren’t on the same page. It seems like we are, but if emotion gets involved, it could escalate very quickly into something neither of us are ready for and we could end up hurt. “I’m not using you,” he says softly. “You’re the best person I’ve met in such a long time, and honestly, I really do like you. I’m just not ready for a relationship yet, I wouldn’t want to hurt you because it’s still too raw. We’ve both recently had our hearts broken, let’s just go easy and see what happens.” “I understand that,” I say. “And I agree. I’m not ready either.” “So we’re having fun then?” “Yeah,” I agree. “Fun.” Something in my chest screams at me that this is a bad idea. My feelings for Roman are already further along than fun. I might not be ready for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I can control the emotions swarming around in my chest. He is right, though. We’re not ready for anything serious. If we got into anything serious now, it would be a rebound and that would be crazy. But isn’t what we’re doing a rebound? I shake my head, trying to clear those thoughts. What Roman and I share, it’s more than just sex. Our relationship outside of sex is deep, it’s real, I honestly believe we were meant to meet each other and be a part of each others lives. Our connection has brought us to where we are in this moment, sure, but we’re both in agreeance. Right? “Stop thinking about it,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “It’s fine. It’ll be good.” “Yeah,” I whisper. “Good.” “You do matter to me, it’s not just sex.” I believe him when he says that, because he doesn’t seem like the kind of person that would ever befriend and then use someone. We didn’t come into this wanting sex, but here we are. Maybe it’ll help us both move on, maybe it’ll end up destroying us, either way, being with him right now, having someone like him in my life, it’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I’ll do whatever I can not to lose it. “I know,” I whisper. “It’s okay.” He squeezes me, to let me know he’s heard me. I snuggle in closer. And we fall asleep. Just like that. Friends. But not friends. Why do I feel like this is going to hurt?

~*~*~*~*~ “Two months?” Roman says, his eyes lighting up. “Two months. We’ve officially been friends two months, even though we’ve technically known each other so much longer.” “That went fast,” he says as we walk up to the front porch of his Uncle’s house. “Happy spoosversary.” I laugh. “Original.” He grins at me. We pause at the door and knock. Roman brought me over today to meet his Uncle. I’m not nervous, funnily enough, because everything with Roman just feels natural. He seems lighter in the last few weeks, like maybe he’s finally starting to move on from that horrid ex. He smiles more, laughs more, and his eyes are lighter. We hang out a lot, and even though we’ve been sleeping together, we still get along just as good as we did before it, if not better. Our connection is genuine. “Roman!” His Uncle says, opening the door. He’s an older man, maybe in his sixties, with grey hair and kind eyes. He extends his hand and Roman shakes it. “Uncle Ken, this is Molly, my friend.” I extend my hand too, and shake the one placed in it. “Nice to meet you,” I smile. “You too, darlin’, come inside.” We enter his house and take a seat at the table. It’s a homely place, with a warmth that not many houses hold anymore. “How’s work been?” Ken asks Roman, and the two of them get into a lengthy discussion about it. I smile, listening, enjoying being part of something different. Being around bikers all the time, it’s good, it’s family, but sometimes having normal conversations, with normal people, it feels nice. I listen to the two of them talking as they make coffee, and when they both join me at the table, I join in on their conversation. “I have a good story,” Ken says, smiling at me. Roman rolls his eyes and mouths, ‘Here we go.’. I grin at him, and then turn back to Ken. “Tell me.” “Had this horse once, crazy thing it was. Used to throw everyone off. Nobody could ride it. Anyway, we took it mustering one day and this random fellow came along to give us a hand. He was a big guy, scary looking, and so I gave him the horse to ride.” Oh God. The horse is going to kick him off. I nod, encouraging Ken on. “So we’re out mustering for days, it’s hot, and we set up camp one night. We’re all there, drinking and talking, and it’s fucking cold you know? This guy is fairly quiet, keeps to himself mostly, so he’s easy enough to have around.” Wait. So the story isn’t about a horse? I keep listening, so does Roman, but he looks as confused as I do. Ken reaches over onto the table, and pulls out a ketchup bottle and puts it in front of him. This story is about...ketchup? I glance at Roman, who gives me a cheeky smile and a shrug. Yep. He’s lost too. “Anyway, so this man stands and goes over by the fire for a piss. I’m not even kidding, he pulls it out and it is the biggest cock I’ve ever seen,” Ken points to the ketchup bottle. “Like this much bigger and higher than this bottle.” I giggle. Roman raises his brows.

So the story is about...the size of this guys cock? I can’t help but laugh. Not where I thought it was going. “Anyway, we’re all staring, thinking this guy mustn’t get laid much, because that thing would split a girl in two. Next day, we head out mustering again and he goes his own way. Weird fella, barely spoke, strange personality.” Wait...the story isn’t over? It wasn’t about a horse...or a cock...? Roman chuckles and looks at me, rolling his eyes again. “When we’re done mustering, we get back into town and see a newspaper. You’ll never guess who we see on the front...” He looks at both of us. “The guy with the horse cock?” Roman adds and we both chuckle. “Yep, only, he’s a wanted man. A murderer. He’d been going around killing people. He’d stayed with us for days, with his monster cock, and then gone on to kill two people after it.” I blink. Wait...what? “A murderer?” Roman says, blinking a few times, too. “Yep. For whatever reason, he decided not to kill us, but went on to find some other poor bastard to rape and murder.” I shiver. That’s awful. “Fuck,” Roman says. “Glad you got straight to the point, Uncle Ken.” I giggle again. Roman looks at me and winks. We spend another few hours there, before getting into the car to head out to lunch. As soon as we disappear down Ken’s driveway, Roman bursts out laughing. “That was the craziest story I’ve ever heard.” “Right?” I laugh. “I thought it was about a horse!” “And then about a monster cock!” Roman snorts. “But it was about a freaking murderer.” “Trust him to take four hours to get to that point.” I laugh. “Still, that was the best story I’ve heard in so long.” “And the most in depth,” Roman points out. We both laugh the entire way to the restaurant we’re having lunch at. Climbing out of the car, I feel light inside, happy even. Hanging out with Roman, it just feels...normal. There is never moments where we’re awkward with each other. In silence, or in chatter, we just get along, there is nothing weird between us, we can say whatever we have to say and it never feels off. We order some lunch and find a table outside, an older group of people, two ladies and one man, have set up with their violins to play some music during the lunch hour. “Free entertainment,” Roman says, wiggling his brows. “Yeah boy!” I smother a laugh. “You’re an idiot, honestly.” He winks at me and we take a seat. We watch as the group begins singing and playing their instruments. It’s nice, relaxing even. I glance at the older man in the group, and as he’s singing, he’s staring at me. “Creeper alert, one o’clock,” I mutter to Roman. Roman looks, and then laughs. “Yep, he’s totally scoping you out.” “He’s like ninety,” I cringe. “So, maybe that’s his last wish before he dies.” I thump him. “He’s a total creeper, though, right?” I whisper, nudging Roman with my shoulder. “You think?”

“Oh fuck yeah. Total creep.” Our food arrives and we eat. I talk to Roman the entire way through lunch, and he’s finished long before I am. “I’ve never met someone who eats so slow,” he says, raising his brows and staring at my uneaten food. “I’m talking.” “That’s the problem,” he teases. “You talk so much, when really, you should just open your mouth and put that food in there.” I flip him the bird. He chuckles. “I could drive home, have a shower, come back and you’d still be halfway through.” I roll my eyes, finish up my lunch, in silence, much to his satisfaction, and then we both head back out to go home. In the truck, I turn to him. “How’s things anyway? Still talking to that crazy cunt monkey?” Roman laughs. “Here and there. I think she knows I’m over it, hey.” I raise my brows. “You’re not over it.” He looks to me. “Yeah, I am.” I narrow my eyes. “You were in love with her like two weeks ago.” “And then I met you and honestly, I feel okay about moving forward now.” I keep staring at him. “I am over it, Molly.” I wish I could believe that, but even I know you don’t fall out of love and get over heartbreak that easily. Am I acting as Roman’s band aid? Am I blocking his feelings by making him think he no longer has them? Sure, I know I’ve helped him move forward, but I honestly think what he’s feeling right now is a temporary relief from the pain. Am I actually a rebound? “You’re thinking too much again,” he says, glancing at me. “No. Not it’s fine.” “I have barely spoken to her, that’s the truth. I do want to move on. I meant it when I said I like you. Stop stressing.” I smile, and nod. But deep down, I am stressing. Because I don’t want to get hurt. Mostly, I don’t want to lose him.

CHAPTER 15 R – I miss you. M – I miss you too. R – You giving those toys a good workout without me there? I smile and respond. M – Absolutely. R – Send me a picture. M – Ha ha, you wish handsome. R – Come on. I’m stuck out here. I can’t see you. M – Nice try. But you’re just going to have to imagine it. R – I’m not happy with you right now. R – Send a picture. I giggle. M – Nope. R – Cunt. I laugh. M – Cunt picture. R – I hate you. I’m laughing, my body shaking, as I reply. M – Don’t worry, I hate you too. R – That’s it! M – Whatevs. R – Your dick stinks. I burst out into hysterical laughter. Roman and I, we can have sex, we can be serious, but mostly our teasing makes me laugh. We spend most of our days tormenting each other with silly text messages, but honestly, they make everything feel better. His personality is nearly exactly like mine, and I’m grateful for it. M – Yeah. Yeah. Fucker. R – Love you Bestie. M – Eat a dick. R – Fuck too. R – You* M – Can’t even spell. R – Lol. M – Lol isn’t a valid text message. R – I’m going to kick you in the nuts. I’m laughing so hard now, tears are running down my face. M – I’m getting a new Bestie. That’s it. I might miss you sometimes, probably only when I’m drunk. R – Stop being a hater. M – Put your love glasses on.

R – Haha. They’re on. What are you doing? M – Masturbating. I know he’ll be having a chuckle over that. R – Ha ha. Yeah. I just washed a heap down the shower drain. M – Those poor future kids, they’re still hanging onto the shower drain screaming. I take a quick snap of a pile of towels I just gathered together to wash. I’ve been so lazy lately. I really need to do something about that. When Roman is away, I spend all my time with my family and work, when he’s home, it’s all him and I. I barely have time to sit these days, which is awesome. M – I need to do some washing. R – Oh my god. Wash your towels. M – Oh my god. Wash your balls. I yawn and check the time. It’s past ten, and I have to work early tomorrow morning. M – I’m going to bed now, loser. Talk to you tomorrow. Roman sends a thumbs up, and I giggle, because he knows I hate it. M – Stop being a dick and say goodnight properly. R – Goodnight, Spoosie. I smile, my heart warm, and my body light. M – Goodnight, Spunky. With a content smile on my face, I tuck my phone away. And for the first time in a damned long time, I fall asleep happy. Really happy. All because of him. ~*~*~*~ “So, Roman,” Matilda says at the clubhouse later that week. “How’s that going?” I decide not to tell her we’re sleeping together, just yet, anyway. Maybe it’s because I’m still not sure what’s happening and don’t want to disrupt anything, or maybe it’s because I know what she’ll say, and she’ll probably be right. “It’s going good. He seems to be moving forward fairly well, reducing contact with his ex.” She nods, crossing her legs and shifting towards me on the sofa. “So, he’s not really talking to her anymore?” “Yeah, well, she’s not really talking to him either to be honest.” “I wonder what she’ll do when he fully cuts contact, considering she doesn’t want him back but she doesn’t want him to move on.” I ponder that. I hadn’t really thought of it. Roman has been chasing her for months, he’s been her backbone, he’s supported her even when she treated him like crap. He’s been a damned good person, so what will happen now he’s pulling back and she’s not getting all the attention she wants? Will she come on strong? Will she try and get him back just purely so she doesn’t have to be alone? She’s definitely that kind of person. My heart clenches, because as much as he tells me he’s over it, I know deep down he isn’t. When you break up with someone you have highs and lows, usually, right before you finally move on, you have a massive high of thinking you’re over it, then you come crashing back down, then only after that do you truly move on and accept that there is no hope for reconciliation. Roman is on his high, partially because of me, partially because it’s been a good few months and he has had a chance to grieve some.

“Honestly,” I finally answer Matilda, “I think she will probably try, but I can’t see it lasting long. She’ll want his attention back, but she’ll still keep him at arm’s length and because of that, they’ll just repeat the same cycle.” “Maybe he needs her to do that, though. Sometimes, especially in this case because it’s long distance, missing someone makes you put them on a pedestal. I honestly think the best thing sometimes is for them to re-attempt it or talk about re-attempting it because I believe it can be one of the only ways for people to see why it ended in the first place and actually move on properly.” Yeah. Maybe. That thought sucks. “If she gave in and took him back, she’d destroy him. That’s clear as day. Her feelings for him aren’t there, it would only last such a short while before she repeated the cycle. You don’t leave someone you are supposed to love and do all the things she did to him if your feelings are genuine. That’s not love. If she loved him, she wouldn’t have left in the first place, it really is that simple. Problems or not, if the love was pure, she would have told him and they would have worked through it together. That’s what couples do. No. He was a convenience for her, a way to escape reality, and the second she found someone else, she flicked him like he didn’t matter at all.” Matilda frowns. “That’s so harsh. There are honestly no words to describe it. What sort of person is that cold? Truthfully? The worst part is, when she gets the flick from this other guy, and she will if she’s as selfish as she sounds, a hundred bucks says she considers taking him back temporarily until she finds something else to distract her.” I frown, my heart clenching and anger bubbling in my chest. I’ll never understand it, not for as long as I live, how someone can be so utterly selfish and cruel. I don’t care if your feelings change and you do the right thing and break it off, at some point, that person was supposed to matter to you, and for that reason alone, they deserve, at the very least, a little respect. “Oh, I have no doubt she’ll try at some point, but my guess is she won’t fully commit, she’ll just want his attention without actually giving it another go. She doesn’t love him, so she won’t want him around permanently again.” Matilda nods. “She’s disgusting. Karma will bite her clean in the ass, and it’ll be exactly what she deserves.” “Yeah, it will.” “Just ... be careful, Molly. I can see you care about him, your feelings are genuine. He’s not fully past this yet, and this girl isn’t done messing with him. She seems like the type who will take and take and take until he finally gets the courage to say enough. He hasn’t done that yet, which means he’s not ready to, and that means he’s not really over it. If he was, he would have cut her out of his life.” “Yeah, I know,” I say, sighing. “Be his friend, be there for him, but please, don’t do anything until he’s over it. You’ve just suffered through so much hurt, you’ll only create more.” Guilt stabs me in the chest, because it’s already too late. I’ve already taken a step too close. I’ve already crossed the line. “Yeah, I know, I’ll be careful,” I say, my voice empty, because I hate lying to my sister. I hate it, because I know what she’s saying is true, and if I admit that to her, if I really open my heart to what’s happening, I know I’ll have to accept that she’s telling me what’s so incredibly obvious, and I’m being reckless with Roman. It’ll tell me I have to stop, to take a step back, to create distance, and right now, that’s the last thing I want. But, I know, deep down in my heart, that he isn’t over it. I also know, even though I refuse to admit it to myself, that if she popped back now, he’d consider it, possibly even take her back. That would hurt me, more than I’m willing to admit. So why the hell aren’t I stopping this?

Now it’s my turn to throw myself in front of the oncoming train, because that’s what I’m doing. But I just ... can’t give up on him.

CHAPTER 16 “That asshole left you alone?” Jack asks, sitting down beside me once I’m done talking to Matilda. “Yeah.” I nod. “Thanks for covering for me while that bruise healed. If dad found out ...” Jack takes my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t worry, I had a word to Michael. I didn’t think he’d be back anytime soon.” I squeeze his hand back. “Thanks, Jack. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He studies me for a second, his eyes scanning my face. “You seem sad.” I shake my head. “Nah, I’m fine, just deep in thought.” “Something bothering you?” So much is bothering me, and right now my heart feels heavy. It aches. I don’t know what to think or do. I know I have to make a choice right now—either I continue doing this with Roman, and risk getting hurt, or I put us back in the friend zone and just let that be what it is. I know that’s the right choice. Deep down in my heart, I know he isn’t ready. I know it. So why the hell can’t I just walk away and be his friend? Why can’t I stop this? What is it that he’s doing to me that makes me want to keep hanging on? There is something about him, so real, so genuine, so incredible. There is something that makes me want to hang onto him. But hanging onto him will get me hurt. I know this. Dammit. I know it. “Hey,” Jack says, clicking his fingers. “Come on, come sit outside with everyone. Take your mind off it.” I nod and stand, following him outside to the massive table and chairs under a tree. My dad, Kyrpt, Mack, Jaylah, and Ash are all sitting at the table, discussing something. When they see us, they all stop. “Well, if you two aren’t the cutest.” Jaylah grins. Jack and I both roll our eyes. If Jaylah had it her way, we would have been married with four kids by now. She has been planning our wedding since we were kids, but she never got her wish. “Mother, that would be like sleeping with my sister,” Jack scoffs. “That is unacceptable behaviour. Besides, I’m on the chase right now. It’s very difficult.” Jaylah’s brows raise. “Do share!” Mack groans. Jack shoots him a shit-eating grin. “If we’re going to share stories of love, I’m outta here!” Krypt says. “Sit down and listen!” Ash orders, grinning at her man. I sit down by my dad, and he puts an arm around my shoulder, turning to glance down at me, his blue eyes scan my face. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” I shake my head. “Nothing, it’s fine. Everything is fine.” “When a woman uses fine more than once in a sentence, it ain’t fine,” he points out. “You wanna talk about it?” I shake my head. “No, not really.” “Okay, baby, but when you do, you know where I am.”

“So,” Jaylah says, nudging Jack, “tell Momma all about this girl.” “He can’t get her,” I say, shrugging. “Poor guy.” Jack shoots me a look. “I can get her! She’s just being ... difficult.” “There’s a tactic with difficult women, son,” Kyrpt says. “Walk up to them, throw them over your shoulder, carry them to the bed, and fuck them so hard they have no choice but to remember your name.” We all stare at him. Dad bursts out laughing, Mack grins, and all the women look horrified. Jack is contemplating it, rubbing his chin and nodding with a grin. “How has that worked out for you in the past?” Ash says to Krypt, nudging him. He shoots her a wicked grin. “Works every time.” “Ew!” Jack and I say at the same time. “Son,” Jaylah says, giggling. “You just have to keep pushing. She’ll come around.” “Wrong,” Mack adds, crossing his arms. “You have to stop pushing, and she’ll come around.” All eyes swing to him. “Explain yourself, father,” Jack says, crossing his arms, too. “You’re chasing her. She likes it. It’s fun. She’s playing hard to get, because you’re making it your mission to follow her like a lost dog. Stop, and watch her come running.” “As. If.” Jaylah rolls her eyes. “That’ll just piss her off.” Mack looks to his woman. “If I ignored you, after giving you all the attention, you’re telling me you wouldn’t be on that phone quicker than a fly on shit, messaging me like a crazy woman?” She flushes, and nods. “Man has a point.” “So, ignore her.” Mack shrugs. “Simple.” “I don’t know ...” Jack says hesitantly. “I’m not sure I trust your judgement. I mean, look at the woman you snagged.” Jaylah slaps her son, and he grins, throwing his arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek. My phone buzzes and I glance down. I haven’t spoken to Roman much today. He’s noticing. I know I need to explain to him why, but I don’t honestly know how to do that without screwing up. I told him I was okay with everything that happened, that I was okay with casual, but the truth is I always knew I wasn’t that kind of girl and I let it go anyway. The best thing for both of us, until he’s fully moved on, is to slow this back to friendship. R – Hey? You ok? I exhale, and it’s shaky. M – Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking. R – About what? M – All of this. I think for right now it’s best if we just stay friends until you deal with your ex. I feel like it might cause problems and I really don’t want that. I don’t want either of us to get hurt. A few minutes tick by, and my hands start shaking. I stand and walk over to another shady tree, pressing my back against it. My phone buzzes, and I practically drop it I move that fast to read the message. R – If that’s what you want? But I do want what’s happening with us, I wasn’t lying about that. I just don’t want to move fast or get too serious right now. I’m enjoying the fun we have. M – I know that, but I don’t feel like it’s fully resolved, and until it is, I think we just stay friends and stop sleeping together. Slow or not, that usually complicates things. A few more minutes pass, and my hands tremble. R – I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?

My heart clenches. No. No. Of course he hasn’t fucked up. This isn’t on him. Or me. It’s just a situation that is going to work better for us both in the long run if we slow it down and just recover first from our pasts. Truthfully, I’m still cut up about Michael and what he did to me, and while my feelings have changed, it’s still too soon. M – No, of course not. I just have to be careful here. I like you, a lot. I don’t want to get hurt. R – I respect that. I do have feelings for you, I hope you know that. He does? I blink. I know he’s figured out I’ve started developing feelings for him, but I didn’t realise he was developing feelings for me, too. All the more reason to pull the brakes on for now. M – I didn’t know that. R – Well I do, and I do know what I have to do with her, it’s just hard. But I do want to finish it so I can move on. Do I believe him? God. This is confusing. M – When you have sorted it out, we can see what happens. R – I just hope I haven’t fucked up what could have been the best thing. Time will tell. Yeah. I guess it will.

CHAPTER 17 I’ve just sat down on my lunch break a few days later when my phone rings. I glance down and see it’s Roman. It’s his last day at work, and he doesn’t usually call through the day. Worry fill my chest, and I put my sandwich down and answer it. “Hey,” I say, my voice concerned. “Everything okay?” “Hey,” he says, and his voice sounds flatter than usual. “How are you?” “I’m okay. What’s going on?” “I just spoke to her.” My heart clenches, and a cold feeling washes through my body. Fear. Horrible fear that what he’s about to tell me is going to make me lose the best person I’ve ever known. I’m not ready to lose him. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to lose him. “Oh,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “How did that go?” “It got a bit heated.” He’s being vague. “And?” “She’s fucked up. Honestly.” Yes. Yes, she is. “You going to tell me what happened?” I say, carefully. “I basically just told her she needs to let me go, let me move on. She still won’t, hey. She still won’t say the words.” Anger bubbles in my chest, and I get frustrated. Of course she won’t let him move on, because he keeps letting her keep him around for convenience. Why the hell would she let him go when he’s giving her endless amounts of attention? She’s selfish. That’s what she wants in life. It’s all about the attention. I shake the thought out of my head. I’m tired. I’m hurting. This is not his fault. “So, what did you do?” I manage. “I told her she’s stopping me from moving on, that I have a good thing going on here that’s on hold because of her.” He said that? My heart breaks even more. Dammit. What have I gotten myself into? I care too much. I fucked up. “She said she’s not stopping me from moving on,” he continues. Technically, she’s not. He’s stopping himself from moving on. Her actions have given every answer he needs. She’s been cruel, selfish, unkind, and treated him like the scum of the earth, but he’s still waiting for those words. The ones that he believes will free him. What he doesn’t see is that he’s already free of her, and nothing he does is ever going to change that. Eventually, he has to find his strength and cut contact himself. Only when he does will it truly be over. “Wow,” I say, my voice shaky. It’s all I can manage. “Yeah. I said she just needs to be honest with me about what she wants.” My bottom lip trembles. Idiot. I’m such an idiot. “How did she respond to that?”

“She said she doesn’t know. That she’s stressed and can’t think.” God. I knew it. He’s wanting to move on, she can feel it, and now she’s going to clutch on a bit harder because she doesn’t want to lose her attention. The selfish, self-centred, bitch. “I thought she told you her feelings had changed,” I mumble. “What more do you need to hear?” God, that was mean. “She did say that,” he says, his voice hardening a little. “I said to her, what does your gut say?” My hand shakes. “And she said, to come back.” No. Fucking no. That piece of shit. She knows exactly what she’s doing. “I thought she was seeing someone else?” I manage. Don’t cry. Do not cry. “She said she’s only talking to him because she wants some money she lent him back. She’s going on holiday for a week with him.” God. Why can’t he see it? Why is she such a horrible, horrible human being? “So, she’s going to go away with another man ... for money?” I squeak, my voice horrified. “Yep. I went off. She’s such a fucking liar. She told me she needs life coaching before she can make a choice.” A choice. She’s doing it. She’s doing what I knew she would do. The second he started moving on, the second she realised her support team and attention was fading, she started hanging on. She doesn’t want him. That much is so horribly clear, but she’s going to hang on because she can see he’s moving on, and God forbid, she has to face the shit storm she’s created for herself alone. “I told her it’s done, and I hope she has a good life,” he says. “So fuck it. I’m over it.” No. No, he’s not. This will sink in. It will penetrate, and the tiny piece of hope she’s handed him will cling to his brain, and he’ll hang onto it. She knows it. She knows how he works, and she’s manipulating this to get what it is she wants. How dare she? What kind of awful, awful person does something so careless? He loves her. God, of course he does. He’s a good person. She knows he loves her. And she’s going to twist this until she destroys him. She will destroy him for her own personal gain. I fucking hate her. ~*~*~*~ I open the door and see Roman standing, smiling at me. He’s smiling, but his eyes are sad again. I can see it, it’s like the first time I met him. Maybe not as deep, but that pain is there. God damn her to hell for doing this to him. Why the hell can’t she just let

him move on with his life like he deserves? He’s such a good person, he deserves so much more than her. “Hey,” I smile, but I’m sure he can see my smile isn’t there either. It isn’t what it should be. “Hey.” He steps forward and catches me in his arms, pulling me close. He might love her—scratch that, he does love her—but I will always believe we were put together for a reason. I just haven’t figured out what that reason is. What we share, the bond we have, the connection, it’s real. It isn’t rebound, if it was, it would be all about sex. It’s not. It’s genuine. It’s pure. Roman was meant to be in my life, and I was meant to be in his—of that I’m sure. “How are you?” I say, looking up. “I’m good,” he smiles. “Coffee?” He’s lying. I can see it in his face. Those brown eyes will always tell the tales he thinks he keeps hidden. “Of course,” I say. I walk into the kitchen and try to make the conversation as easy as possible. “How was work?” “It was okay,” he says, sitting down on the kitchen stool and watching me. “You okay?” He nods. He’s not. Dammit. This is going to happen. I can feel it, right down to my core. It’s that feeling that washes over you, grabbing your heart with both hands, squeezing it tight, making you feel so sick you wonder if you’ll even be able to stand. It’s the feeling you get when you know something is about to tear you in two. “You’re not,” I say softly, and my heart is already pounding. “It’s because she’s away with that other guy, isn’t it?” He flinches. Dammit. Damn her. “It’s a bit fucked.” My heart does go out to him. To me, all this is so clear, but when you’re in love, when you’re giving your heart to someone, sometimes you just can’t see all the awful things they’re doing. Roman is hanging onto threads of a relationship he cherished, but she severed the cord months ago. Now she’s playing him. I hope Karma eats her alive. “I’m sorry, Roman,” I say, and I mean it. I am sorry for him. I hate her for what she’s doing, but mostly I hate that he’s in so much pain and can’t find any relief from it. There is no worse feeling in the world than wanting something to just stop, getting a little hope that it’s going to, and then having it come crashing back down just when you think you’re moving forward. “I think right now we should definitely stop sleeping together,” I say, and I know in that moment, it’s the right thing. He’s not ready. I knew he wasn’t ready. I know, for a while, when she backed off and he started to feel good again, that he thought he was ready and everything he said was real. I believe that because

Roman is a good guy, but I knew he wasn’t at the right stage. I was the one in this situation without intense emotion, I should have pulled back and given him time. “Yeah,” he agrees. “I think so.” I flinch. I didn’t think those words would hurt as much as they do. He looks up at me, and God, I just want to hang onto him and tell him it’ll be okay. But I can’t. He has to learn this one. And I think he’s going to have to learn it the hard way. I hate that for him. He doesn’t deserve it. Nobody does, but Roman is the best kind, and he shouldn’t have to feel this kind of pain. I wish I could make it go away for him. “I still love her,” he says, his voice thick. “I was over it but ...” “You weren’t over it-” I interrupt. He jerks back, looking a little pissed. “I was over it.” “Roman, you weren’t over it. You thought you were over it. You believed you were over it. But if you were over it, you wouldn’t just fall back in love with her.” My hands start shaking. Dammit. Don’t cry, Molly. Do not cry. His words repeat over and over in my head. I still love her. I still love her. I still love her. I knew that. So why the hell does it hurt so much? His eyes roam over my face and I know he’s hurting about doing this to me. I know he is, but that isn’t enough to stop him from doing it. “I meant it when I said I have feelings for you, I do, but ... I can’t help how I feel about this.” My legs shake now. They feel like they’re going to turn to jelly and cause me to collapse onto the ground. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he says, and I know he means it. I know he does. This one is on me. I knew. I knew, and I let it continue instead of just being his friend and giving him space. Once again I let my stupid heart take over and in doing that, I stopped thinking rationally and with a clear head. “We were having fun,” he says. “We were getting closer. I wanted that. It’s just too soon.” “Yeah,” I whisper. “Look at me, Molly.” I can’t look at him. If I look at him, I’ll break. I’ll break, and that is going to do nothing. All that will do is make it worse. This isn’t his fault— he’s always been honest with me, he never promised anything more than he could give. I accepted it for what it was, knowing he wasn’t ready. Dammit. Why didn’t I just keep it as friends for a little longer, until he went through all this? Then this might not be happening. And fuck, it wouldn’t hurt so much. “She’s away with another man,” I whisper. “She treated you like dirt. She was the worst human being I’ve ever known. How can you still love her? How can you even consider taking her back?” He shifts. “I know all this.” But he’s going to fight again anyway. He’s going to, because that’s the kind of incredible human being he is. It’s also going to be what destroys him. “But it doesn’t matter,” I say to my hands. “Please look at me.”

I can’t. I won’t. “Molly ...” I don’t move. “I should go,” he says, his voice hurt. He stands, and I can feel his eyes burning into me. “I don’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry if I did.” I nod, keeping my eyes turned down to the ground. “Can I have a hug? Please?” No. Because if I hug him, if I take a step towards him and put my arms around him, I’ll break. If I break, I’m not entirely sure I’ll have the strength to pick myself back up again. He has helped me so much, he has been my rock, my best fucking friend, my everything. Now, I might just lose him. I might lose the best person I’ve ever met, and I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to cope with that. So, I keep my hands by my sides. I keep my face turned down. I fight the tears threatening to explode. “I’m sorry. I honestly never meant to hurt you. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” he says, and the he quietly leaves my house. I sink to my knees the second his truck disappears down the road. And I cry. I just cry. Damn her. Damn her to hell.

CHAPTER 18 “Hey, come on,” Matilda says, wrapping her arms around me. “It’ll be okay.” “I feel like I’ve lost my best friend, Milly,” I whisper against her shoulder. “I honestly feel so completely broken.” She sighs and her breath puffs out against my cheek. “This is why I told you to be careful, honey. I know what you two have is special, I believe it because I can see it. I can see it when you two are together. It’s obvious he truly does care about you, but he needs to move past all this. He needs to heal.” “I know,” I croak. “I knew this, but I still slept with him anyway. I let myself get close. If I didn’t do that, I could have held back, I could have controlled my feelings. The second I let it get to that point, it all changed. I’m a soft person, I might have a high sex drive, but I’m not a slut. I’m selective who I sleep with, because I know I care too easily. I knew myself, I knew I’d bond with him, but I did it anyway.” “This isn’t your fault, but it isn’t his, either. You guys were in a really hard place, and you clung to each other. Most people rebound with a one-night stand, but you two, you had something special, a friendship I honestly haven’t seen in a long time. You should have kept it at that until he’d moved on, but you didn’t. It’s a lesson learned. It’ll hurt for a while, but you will be okay.” “What if he goes back to her?” I say, turning to her, eyes filled with tears. “Matilda, what if I lose him?” She takes my hand. “Do you honestly think she’ll actually take him back? And even if she does, she’s going to destroy him once more. That woman does not love him, but that’s something he has to figure out for himself. You cannot fight this battle for him. You can’t, honey.” “I don’t want him hurting,” I whisper, a tear running down my cheek. “I don’t want him hurting!” Frustration and pain bubbles in my chest, and I can’t seem to make sense of either. She shakes her head and squeezes my hand again. “Again, you can’t fight this one. Sweetie, you can’t. I know you want to protect him. But he has to figure this out. The only thing you can do right now is either accept that he needs you as a friend only, or give yourself space until he’s dealt with it.” “I can’t imagine going a day without talking to him, he’s my best friend, he’s important to me.” “Yes, he is, but you have feelings for him now. If, for some small chance, he does go back to her for a while, do you honestly think you can handle that?” My heart twists angrily at that thought. I close my eyes, take a shaky breath and think about it. It would kill me, absolutely rip me in two, to see him go back to her. The very thought hurts my heart more than I can even imagine. There is nothing worse in the world than thinking of someone you care about with someone else. But what would hurt even more, is losing the best person I’ve ever known. What would hurt, so much more, is giving up on someone who has been there for me, who has taught me so much about myself in such a short time, who is the kindest, most generous person I’ve ever met. Losing him, that would hurt far more. “It would kill me,” I admit. “But losing him ... That’ll kill me more.”

She nods, because she knew that’s what I would say. “Then you take your time, you calm down from this, and you tell him that. If he does go back, you will need some space, that’s just not able to be avoided—it will hurt more than you think it will. If he doesn’t, you support him as a friend through it. That’s all you can do for right now.” “I hate her,” I mutter angrily. “I really, really hate her. I wish I could walk up to her and tell her exactly what I think of her, but I can’t. I just have to sit back and watch her chip away at him, slowly eating at him piece by piece, until there is nothing left.” “I hate her too, and I don’t even know the half of it,” Matilda agrees. “People like her, she’ll only win for a while. She will hurt him again, but the funny thing about people, is they bounce back. It’ll suck for him, it’s going to possibly be the hardest thing he’ll do, but he will come back stronger, and he will come back a fighter. But until that happens, you just have to hang on, just keep hanging on, honey.” “What we have, it’s worth it,” I whisper, another tear rolling down my cheek. “It’s so worth it.” I can do this. I can. I have to. He needs me.

CHAPTER 19 “I’m sorry,” I say, standing on his doorstep, staring into those brown eyes that are full of pain again. It’s been a few days; I let him have the space he needed, and now I need him to know that I’m here. I’ve pulled myself together as much as I can, I’ve shut down my emotions as much as I can for now, and I just need to be there for him and he needs to know it. “Hey,” he says, stepping aside and letting me in. I tilt my head back and stare up at him, studying his face. He looks tired. I hate that. “I didn’t mean to make you out to be an asshole over your feelings, Roman. I know you can’t help it. I can be your friend, for right now. I can do what you need me to do, but please understand, if you go back there, I will need to take a step back. It isn’t because I don’t want to help you, I do, but if you go back then I’m no longer your person, she’s your person again, and because of that, I’ll need to move on with my life.” He stares at me, and nods. He looks hurt. I hate that. “But, if you don’t go back, or you do and she hurts you again ...” Which she will. “Then I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. I will do what I can, I’ll help you through, I’ll be just your friend if that’s what you need, but please, please respect that I do have to protect my heart a little too. That’s all I can offer you right now.” “I understand, and I really am sorry for hurting you. That was never my intention. I feel like a fucking asshole.” “It’s not your fault,” I say, smiling, even though I’m sure he can see it’s broken. “You can’t help how you feel. I know that now better than anyone. You were honest with me, you always told me the truth, I just didn’t want to hear it. We both rushed when the truth was too soon for both of us.” “Yeah, it was. But you do matter to me, I love having you around, and I don’t want to lose you. I just have to figure this one out. I have to work through this. I just need you on my side, without judgement.” My heart clenches, but I nod. “I understand, and I’m sorry.” “You want a coffee? I’ve missed you, Bestie.” I smile, and this time it does shake. “Yeah, I do.” He makes us a coffee and we sit outside at his table. I study him, and internally, my heart is shredding into a thousand pieces. He looks terrible. He was feeling better for a while, he was smiling, he was laughing, he was easing up and looking like he might finally get through, and now he looks like he’s right back to square one. His eyes are dull, he’s not laughing like he usually does. How could she do this to him? Honestly, how the hell can she do this? That’s right, because she only cares about herself. “You don’t look so crash hot, spunky, you okay?” I ask, sipping the coffee. He shrugs. “Not really, hey. I was feeling good about moving on, things were good, and now I feel like I’m right back to square one again.” “You’re feeling the same hurt?” He nods. Fuck. Her.

“Have you spoken to her?” He nods. “Yeah, I’ve spoken to her. She said she needs a few weeks and then we’ll talk about it.” Bitch. Stupid. Stupid. Bitch. She is hanging him on that rope again. Making him wait a few weeks, making him hold out, not knowing, not understanding, wondering what she’s going to say. That must be pure hell for him. It shouldn’t be this hard. You either want someone, or you don’t. You either love them, or you don’t. A few weeks isn’t going to change that. She’s stalling, because she knows, this time around, when she finally tells him she doesn’t want him, and she will, because she’s a shit person, then she’ll lose him. She knows, deep down in her heart, that it’ll be the final moment for them, that he’ll stop giving to her, that he’ll move on, that he’ll stop being the one person in the world that gives a shit about her. And her selfish ass doesn’t want to lose that just yet. She likes the attention. She likes what he’s giving her. She also knows she’s not willing to give any of that back. “I’m sorry,” I say. “That sucks. Has she said if she wants to get back together?” He shrugs. “I honestly don’t know what she wants. I don’t know what’s going on. She’s away with that other fucker at the moment.” God. Damn. Her. I can’t even imagine how that must feel. Does she stop, at all, and think about her actions? Even a little fucking bit? “I’m sorry, that’s awful.” He shrugs. “Yeah, it’s all good. How are you?” He’s changing the subject, and I understand why. He isn’t a big talker about his emotions, as most men aren’t. I don’t push. There’s no point. We’ll just end up in a massive argument, and neither of us need that. “I’m okay, getting there. We should do something. You want to go for a drive? Drink excessive amounts of beer? Shoot something?” He smiles, and it makes me feel better to know I’ve gotten at least one out of him. “Yeah. I do. Gotta take my mind off this.” “Let’s tip this coffee out, go and get some beer, and drink until we both feel better.” He laughs. “Sounds like a fucking good plan to me.” I stand and smile down at him. “I’ve got your back, Bestie. Even if sometimes I’m an asshole about it, I do have your back.” “Yeah,” he says, holding my eyes. “I know you do.” “Then let’s go get some beer and get this party started.” He stands, extending his hand for a fist pump. I laugh. Giving it to him. It’s not completely okay, but like everything else, we’ll find our way through this. We always do. ~*~*~*~*~ “One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!” I cry. Roman rolls his eyes, curls his fingers in mine, and our thumbs press against each other. “I’m at a disadvantage.” I laugh. “Your thumbs are way bigger than mine.”

“Deal with it, midget fingers.” I use my other hand to thump him, and then I grab his forearm to try and stop his thumb squashing mine. He laughs loudly as our thumbs attack each other, trying to squash the other person’s down for three seconds. I laugh loudly and squeeze his arm. “That’s fucking cheating.” He grins. “Beat me properly.” “No,” I yell with a laugh. “No, I will cheat my way through this.” His thumb traps mine and squashes it down. He pulls his hands back and throws them in the air. “Yeah, boy! I win!” “You’re a fucker,” I huff, crossing my arms. “Let’s play the slapping game.” He rolls his eyes. “Seriously, Roman, I’ll fuck you up. I’m good at this one.” I hold my hands out flat in front of me, he does the same. The tips of our fingers touch. “You have to move your hand before I can slap yours,” I say, wiggling my brows. I go to slap his hand, and he jerks his back quickly. I do it again. He moves quickly. I’m laughing so hard there are tears. “I thought you said you were good at this, Spooser.” “I am!” I cry, grabbing his wrist and slapping his hand over and over. He roars with laughter and pulls it back. “You should quit while you’re ahead, you’re embarrassing yourself.” I cross my arms and then flip him the bird. “Now you’ve gotten that out of your system,” he grins. “Are we done?” “I’m thinking of another game, this is not over. You will suffer.” He snorts. “I hate you,” I say, raising my brows. “I hate you, too, dick frig.” I giggle. “Drink another beer, you’re behind.” He slides a beer across the table towards me. I take it, open it, and drink it. “Bohemian Rhapsody” comes on the radio, and we both look at each other, massive grin on our faces. “We simply cannot let this pass without breaking it down.” I nod. We both start singing at the top of our lungs to the song, throwing our hands in the air, laughing like crazy people, right until the end of the song. Then we collapse back laughing again. I miss laughing with him. I miss the fun. I really just miss him. “I’m glad we’re friends again, I was getting worried there for a while,” I say. He looks to me. “Me too. I know I don’t say it, but I appreciate everything you do for me, Molly. I really do. You’ve helped me so much.” Just not enough to keep her from digging her claws back into him. “Yeah, I know. I do know that.” His eyes lock onto mine. “I never meant for it to go like this.” I smile and shrug, even though my heart aches. “Honestly, I think it was just too soon. I think sometimes I hurt because I’m so afraid of losing you, and not because my feelings are that strong. I haven’t known you long enough for them to be that intense.” Liar. But it’s what he needs to hear.

He needs the pressure removed from me, and the only way for me to do that, is to take away what I think and feel, and just let him do this on his own. The worst thing he can get from me right now, is more drama. I need to be his happy place. I need to give him what he gave me at that start, because honestly, that’s what got me over Michael. “Yeah,” he says, studying me. “I just get so freaked out about losing what we have, that’s all.” “You won’t lose me.” But I could. He just can’t see it. If he goes back there, he will lose me. Because I don’t know many girls that would accept a friendship like ours. And even if I didn’t lose him, it would change. It couldn’t ever be the way it is now, and honestly, I think I’d rather nothing than a mediocre friendship. Roman and I, we weren’t made to be mediocre, we were made to be incredible. Epic even. If he’s with her. Then he doesn’t need me. That’s just how this works. “Do you think we met for a reason?” I ask him. “Yeah, I do. Honestly, and I’ve told you this before, the day you started talking to me, I asked my mom to send me something to make it easier. It was getting so fucking hard. And then you came into my life.” That makes my heart ache for him. But mostly, it makes me feel grateful that someone crossed our paths. “I think your mom made sure I found you,” I say softly. “I think she did, too.” “And I’m grateful for it, Roman. You’re the best person I know. You’re my person. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” “Yeah,” he says, those eyes looking sad again. “I know.” I hope this goes away for him soon. I hope that woman finally gives him the chance to move on. Because I hate seeing him so ... broken.

CHAPTER 20 Two weeks pass since Roman and I went back to being just friends. It’s hard. I keep most of how I’m feeling inside, and spend more time than not acting like I’m happy and moving on, but it’s killing me. It’s killing me to watch him sinking again. He looks unhappy, he’s not himself—even his tone of voice on the phone is flat and broken. I hate her for doing that to him. I just want to take his pain away, but I’m powerless to. So, I just have to keep doing what I’m doing. Being his backbone, the positive in his life, his person. Even though I’m falling to pieces internally with every passing second. Things have changed between us, how could they not? Our conversations are guarded, we can’t talk about certain things anymore, he’s treating me how a man treats his friend when he has a girlfriend. When it was just me and him, there was nothing held back. We talked for hours on end about anything and everything. Now ... Now we just ... We just aren’t Roman and Molly anymore. We still talk every day. We still laugh. But something vital is missing. Just keep pushing through, Molly. He needs you to be strong. “Hey!” I say, rocking into his house when he gets back from work, beers in hand. “How are you?” He’s sitting at his back table, staring at his phone. He looks up when I come in, and he smiles, the softness in his eyes returns for a bit. I wish I could make it stay for longer, but I can’t. I hold up the beers. “You up for one?” “What do you think this house is? Amateur hour?” he grins. I roll my eyes and flop down onto the chair. “Well, your hands are empty, so I’m guessing yes.” He snorts, taking a beer. “How are you, Spoosie?” he asks, putting his phone down. “Awesome. You?” He shrugs. “Good.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. “That’s good,” I smile, and it kills me not to ask him more. We drink and talk for a few hours until we’ve both eased up. It takes longer these days, with so much tension floating around in the air all the time. I wish I could make it easier, things have never been awkward between us, but only time can do that. Finally, he turns to me and for the first time, he talks freely with me. “I was thinking of going down and seeing her this week.” My stomach flips and pain stabs me in the chest, my entire body goes numb, but I keep my smile. I keep it because I have to. He needs me. Just breathe, Molly. “Oh, does she want that?” How I manage to get those words out of my mouth, is beyond me. “I thought she did, but she rang me up last night and said she just didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore and didn’t want me to come down.” I want to scream for joy, because it’s about damned time she finally said those words. Relief floods me, so glad he’s not going to go and have his heart ripped out of his chest yet again.

“But then she rang me again today...” No, no, no. “And she said she’s confused and doesn’t know what she wants. I think something is wrong with her, hey.” No. Shit. She’s a fucking psycho. “So, I spoke to her a bit, and, honestly, it’s just pissed me off now. I’ll read you these messages.” He’s going to read me the messages? I’m honoured he trusts me with that. “Can you just listen?” he asks, holding my eyes. “Please don’t judge me.” I put a hand up. “No judgement here.” I sit quietly as he opens his phone and starts telling me how it went down. “So, I’ve been trying to just talk to her on the phone. Figure out what’s happening. We’ve been talking a fair bit over the last few weeks. She said she needed that time, I gave it to her, then she ended it, and I went off. Then she came back and confused it all again. It’s doing my head in. So, I told her I just want to talk with her on the phone, but she won’t answer.” Bitch. I don’t say that out loud, but I just nod and encourage him to keep going. “So, basically, I told her to ring me as she was going out. She told me she would. She didn’t. Then she sent a message saying if she talks to me, it will confuse her decision and that as much as she’d love to come back, she is happy and wants to move forward with her life, blah blah blah. I told her I loved her, that I wanted to help her, all the bullshit, but she just refuses to ring me.” God. “I just wanted to end it, you know? I’ve gotten to that point, where I just want to end it and move on. She obviously doesn’t love me. I know that. I’ve always known that. Deep down, I knew you were right all along. I just wanted her to say it.” She is saying it. She’s said it a thousand times with her actions. “Listen to this,” he says, flicking to another message. “I asked her to talk. She said why. I said you know why. You know what she said?” I shrug, eager to know what she said. “She said, ‘oh, I thought you might be going to tell me you have won a million dollars’.” My mouth drops open. That money hungry, selfish, piece of shit. All she cares about is money. “How fuckin’ wrong is that?” he says, frowning. “All she fucking cares about is money.” “That’s so disgusting. I can’t believe she said that,” I say, shaking my head. “She should be ashamed of herself.” “Yeah. So, I’m still waiting to hear from her. I’m not going down there. I can’t. She obviously doesn’t want me there.” Of course she doesn’t want him there. She’s playing games. Games that will only end in disaster. It’s black and white, in the big scheme of things. She can’t and won’t try and handle her life on her own, so she’s clutching onto the only person she knows will keep coming back time and time again, no matter what she does to him. She’s honest, she lets him go, and then has a freak out when he actually starts moving on, and tries to get him back. “Can I tell you a story, it might help?” He looks to me and puts his phone down.

“I knew a girl once, and recently I spoke with her,” I begin. “She was with this guy for a long time but broke it off because she didn’t love him anymore. She did the exact same thing your ex is doing, she kept him hanging, wouldn’t fully end it. I asked her the other day why she did that, why she didn’t just let him go if she didn’t love him. You want to know her answer?” He nods, focused on the next words that come out of my mouth. “She said it was because she liked knowing there was someone out there fighting for her, that there was someone out there who loved her and couldn’t live without her. She admitted to having zero feelings for him, but she said she even slept with him again, just to keep him hanging because she liked the attention he was giving her. She didn’t care for him, not even a little, she just liked how he made her feel.” Roman stares at me for a minute, then says, “Write that down. I want to use that.” I laugh softly and shake my head. “No way.” “Please. You just said exactly what she’s doing to me. I want to say it to her. That’s what I want to say when she finally calls me. Please, help me out. Write that down.” I smile at him and do what he asks. Glad that maybe, just maybe, he’s finally realising that he is worth so much more than this. And that woman isn’t worth a single second of his time. He’s too good for her. He always will be. ~*~*~*~ I feel good the next morning as I head over to Roman’s for our usual coffee. I’m proud of him for finally seeing what kind of woman he’s dealing with. I’m glad he didn’t get on a plane and go to her, because honestly, it would have ripped his heart out all over again, and how many times can one person bounce back from that? I feel a sense of relief in my chest, too, and for the first time I realised just how much pain I’ve been stuffing inside, trying to squash down. It feels nice to have a breather from it. It feels nice to have some hope. I walk into his house, and he’s on the phone. I pause when I hear a feminine voice coming from the other side. He encourages me in and takes the phone off speaker and puts it into his ear, mouth that ‘it’s her ’. I point that I can leave, but he shakes his head and asks me if I want a coffee. I sit and wait for him to finish up his phone conversation and make coffee. Then he joins me. “Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t realise you were on the phone.” “That’s okay. It was just her. I think she’s having some sort of mental crisis. She’s just losing it, hey.” “Oh, that sucks.” He shakes his head, clearly frustrated and tired. “She said she’s going to the doctor today, I think she needs to. Part of me wants to help her, you know.” “But you can’t,” I point out. “Nah, I can’t.” You can’t help someone doing the things she’s doing. She needs to figure this one out on her own, and she’ll never do that when she is continually using people instead of dealing with her issues. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should go down there or not.” Oh. I thought he said he had decided he wasn’t going to.

My heart sinks. Again. “Oh. Is that what she wants?” “Yeah,” he says. “Why?” “To see if there is anything there.” Anything there? Anything there? He has to be kidding me. There is nothing fucking there. The only thing there is something there for, is him. She doesn’t give a flying fuck about him, and will take a week of his attention before putting him back on a plane and sending him home. Why can’t he see that? Anger bubbles in my chest, and I can’t stop it. I just can’t anymore. He must notice the change in my face, because he says, “You okay?” “I just ...” I look up at him. “I’m going to lose you, aren’t I?” His eyes soften. But he says nothing. Dammit. Fucking God dammit. I’m such an idiot. I shake my head and stand. “Molly, please ...” “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. It’s just killing me. I’m going to say it, and I know you don’t want to hear it, but someone has to say it because God knows you’re not getting it on your own.” I take a deep breath. “She doesn’t love you, Roman. She is the most selfish, self-centred piece of shit I’ve ever encountered. You know, deep down in your heart, that she doesn’t want you back, that she doesn’t love you. I know you love her, I respect that, what I don’t understand is why? What is so fucking good about her, that you’d be willing to risk your happiness and another terrible heartbreak? What can she give you? Honestly? She’s a liar, she left you for another man, she’s done nothing but treat you like crap, so what exactly is it you think you’re going to get out of this?” I take another shaky breath, and tears run down my cheeks. I’m so tired of trying to hold it all in. I’m so tired of trying to be the good guy. The strong one. I can’t take it anymore. I care about him. Way too much. I’m fooling myself into believing I can deal with this. I can’t. “I have stood by you, I have watched this, I can see it so damned clearly but you can’t. I can’t stand by and watch you get broken once again. I’ve been so close, you know, to begging you not to go, but I realise this isn’t my battle to fight. It’s yours. My feelings for you are making this hurt for me, and I know that’s not your intention, but it’s the truth.” “You said you didn’t have feelings for me anymore,” he says, his voice a little harder. “I told you what you wanted to hear.” He looks like I’ve slapped him. “If you go back there, she becomes your person again, you don’t get me, too. You can’t have everything, Roman. You have to sort yourself out, because honestly, this is killing you again. It’s eating away at you, and it’s not fair. You deserve so much more than this, but I can’t make you see that anymore. I can’t make you see what’s right in front of you. She will break your heart, but if you have to go down there and let that happen, then I can’t stop you.” I turn and walk towards the gate. “Molly!” I look back at him. “I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s hurting me so much. I want to be your friend. I want to support you. But our connection ... It’s too strong for us to ever just be able to

be normal friends. We weren’t made for normal, Roman. You know it. I honestly hope it works out for the best, and I’ll be here if it doesn’t, but you can’t ask me to be your friend if you go back there. I will never like her. I will never respect her. I will never be okay with her. Because she means nothing to me. She’s not my person. You’re my person.” My chest feels like someone is laying on it. It hurts so bad. “Please, try, at the very least, to know your worth. You are worth so much more than her. Even, on some small, off chance she does take you back, how long do you honestly think that’ll last before you’re right back here, in this same situation? It won’t be long. You know that, you just don’t want to accept it.” “I’m sorry,” he says, and that just rips my heart clean open. It bleeds its pain in my next words and that pain finally slams out, pouring out of my mouth in angry, frustrated, broken words. “Dammit, Roman! God damn you! We had something fucking special. This friendship, it was special. You’re going to throw everything away for a disgusting, selfish, pig of a person like her? I will never understand that. Never. Not for the life of me. Be careful that you don’t push away everyone who actually does fucking adore you, for a woman that doesn’t.” I turn and rush out, tears flowing down my cheeks. Idiot. I’m such an idiot.

CHAPTER 21 “Come on, darlin’, nothing is ever as bad as it seems.” My dad strokes his big hand down my hair, as I curl up on the sofa in his office at the clubhouse. He’s sitting beside me, he has been for the last two hours, as I sob uncontrollably. “It is, Daddy,” I croak. “It’s so bad.” “You want to tell me what happened? Or do I have to guess?” “I made friends with this guy ...” “Yeah, I know,” he goes on, fingers drifting through my hair, soothing me. “Well, we had both been through really bad break ups and became really good friends. It’s hard to explain, the friendship ... it’s genuine. It was never just a rebound. It was so much more than that. Outside of the slight romantic part, our connection was through laughing and talking, and all the other wonderful things people have when they meet.” “So, what’s the problem? Did he only want sex?” I look up at my dad and he shrugs. “I’m a man, darlin’. Gotta ask. Don’t be shy. Though, you should know, I will kill the fucker if he used you in any way ...” I smile weakly. “No, he didn’t use me. If anything, he was always so honest. It’s my fault, I went into it knowing that he was still in love with another woman, and I just let my emotions get the better of me once again. As always, I thought with my heart and not my head, and it got me hurt.” “Sounds like you just moved too quickly. This man he doesn’t sound like a prick. If he was, he would have just used you and given you the flick. Sounds to me like you both have something real, but he simply wasn’t ready.” “So, it was my fault?” I croak. “No, darlin’. You both jumped in, because it felt good. That’s not on either of you. He wasn’t ready, he should have probably been more honest about that, or at least understood that when you have a connection with a woman, and you sleep with her, she’s going to get attached. All men know that.” “I truly believe he thought he was over it. Honestly, I do.” Dad nods. “Sometimes when you’ve been hurtin’ so long, something comes along and makes you feel so good it masks your feelings. Then, as you’ve seen, that all comes crashing back down.” “Do you think his feelings for me were ever genuine?” Dad nods. “Yeah, I do, but the man hadn’t recovered from his past and until he does that, he isn’t free to move forward. Best thing you can do, baby girl, is to give him time. Trust me, he needs it. Pressure, or any kind of emotional response from you, it’ll only make it worse for him and push him away from you. Put yourself in his shoes, and have some empathy.” I look to my dad. He’s right. Of course, he’s right. Roman’s heart probably feels like it’s being ripped out of his chest right now, so no matter if he cares for me and truly does see potential, he can’t feel anything outside of what he’s feeling right now. He’s hurting. He just needs to hurt and heal. “How do I shut down when I care about him so much?” I say softly. “Space if you need, but if you can’t do space because you both need each other, then you need to take a bit of time, get yourself together, and accept what is right now. That is friendship. The man is hurtin’, he’s going to feel like that for a while, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, but you need

to remove the pressure from your end for a while and just be there for him. Trust me, the more you add, the harder it’ll be for him to figure his head out.” “I’m scared of doing that, because the more time I spend with him, the more I care about him. If he does actually get back together with his ex, it’ll destroy me, Daddy. I know it will.” “Then, baby, you gotta take some time. You gotta take care of yourself first, you know this. That’s the best thing you can do for both of you. I don’t know much about his situation, but I can tell you more often than not when two people get back together after a nasty break up, it doesn’t last, but sometimes they need it to see that. Let him sort himself out. You can’t fight this battle for him. When he’s done doin’ that, you can be there for him again.” I nod. He’s right. I have to let Roman do this one on his own. I have to get myself together. ~*~*~*~ A week passes, and mostly I feel like I’ve just lost my best friend. Roman still tries to talk to me every day, and I know my lack of contact is worrying him. But I had to take this time. I’ve cried a lot and spent most of my time lying in my bed, wondering why I was so damned stupid. I should have never let my feelings come into play so early, if I had left them out, I would have been able to support him right through this and come out the end. Instead, I screwed it all up. After the eighth day of sulking, I get up, take a deep breath, and know it’s time to move on. I have to get over this. I have to find myself again. I have to get myself together. This isn’t healthy, and it’s not helping anyone. Maybe when I do, I can have the friendship with him that he wants. I get out of bed, I shower, I go for a walk, and get ready for work. It’s hard, but I force myself to do it. I decide to send Roman a message just before I leave, letting him know I will drop some stuff he left here off while he’s at work. The only way for me to recover, is to do it properly and remove anything that reminds me of him, at least until I can get myself together. I can be strong for him, but I can’t do it if he’s with her. If that’s the case, I’ve decided I’ll need some time. If he’s not, I can control my feelings to be there for him. M – Hey. Sorry I haven’t been answering. Been a hard few days. I hope you’re doing okay. I dropped off your stuff at your house, for when you get home. Hope you’re well. I’ll leave some beer, too. I owe you. He responds almost immediately. R – You don’t owe me. You sound like you’re leaving this friendship. Those things were yours. I gave them to you. I owe you. You were there for me the whole time. Don’t think I didn’t appreciate it. I did. I decided last night I’m not going down there. I need to have some self respect. Thank you for always being there. I stare at the message. Then I read it again. He did it? He really did it? M – I’m proud of you for doing that, and I will always be here, in one way or another. I just needed time. Are you really not going back there? R – Nah. I can’t. I need to have some respect. She’s not well. I asked her to leave me be. It was amicable. She never really cared anyway, so it was easy for her. I just want to move on. I need to be strong this time.

He did it. He ended it. He had the choice to go down there and see if there was anything left, and he chose to end it. Of course, going down there would have ended badly, and he would have gotten more hurt, but the fact is that when you love someone, it can be very hard to let that go. But he did. He let it go. M – I’m so proud of you. I know that would have taken so much strength. I know how hard it has been for you, and I know that decision wouldn’t have been easy. R – Yeah. I deleted all the messages, all the photos, everything. Wow. He hasn’t done that. Not once. For him to delete it all ... that takes a lot. Has Roman finally realised how utterly incredible he is, and how much more he deserves? Will it stick? I have a feeling this time, it has a better chance of sticking, because I know it wouldn’t have been something he decided lightly. M – That wouldn’t have been easy. I’m really proud of you for doing that. R – Yeah. Gotta move on. M – Listen, I’m really sorry I went off at you the other day. I feel like an idiot for not being there for you when you needed. It wasn’t fair. R –It’s all good. We wouldn’t be besties if we couldn’t vent our anger and get away with it. M – True but I should never be able to get away with being an emotional, slightly alcoholic, snot rag again. I say those words, and I mean them. I shouldn’t have gone off at him the way I did. He was always upfront with me, even if at times it hurt. He never promised anything he couldn’t give. He was honest about his feelings for both her and I. It was me that jumped forty steps ahead, instead of just being the friend he needed at the time. I am ashamed of myself, for not being there for him and worrying so much about how it made me feel. R – It’s okay. You’ve been through a lot, too. M – Snot rag. R – Ha ha. Spoof rag. You’d enjoy being a spoof rag. M – Yes. I would. R – Don’t run away on me, Bestie? Okay? M – I’m not going anywhere. I just hope you are okay. R – I’m okay. Bit down on and off today, but I’ll get over it. Again. Yes. Yes, he will. This time, we’ll get him through in the right way. The way we should have the first time.

CHAPTER 22 “Do you think I look okay?” Jack asks. I roll my eyes. “Jack, you look fine. I thought you didn’t care what this girl thought of you? I thought you were ‘removing’ all your attention.” He grunts. “Yes, but I still need to look good. Get with the times, Molly.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “You look like a two dollar hooker,” Phoenix says. “Total playboy. She’s going to run a million miles.” I shoot Phoenix a look and he grins at me. “Have ta agree with my bro,” Quinn says. “She’s going to see straight through you.” “Leave him alone!” Matilda says, hooking her arm through Jack’s. “I think it’ll do her good to see him looking like he could get anyone, might make her pick up her game.” “Or it’ll make her think he’s not worthy of her time,” Kaylee adds, quietly. “C’mon, Kay,” Quinn says, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “Not everyone looks for the good in men like you do. Some girls just like the attention. This girl seems like one of them. She’ll fall for it.” “What do you think?” Jack asks me, looking flustered. “I think you need to be Jack. That’s it. Don’t be anyone else. Don’t chase her around. Don’t give her lovey-dovey eyes. Stop making a massive effort and just have fun.” “Do you think that’ll work?” he asks me, sceptical. “It would work for me if I was interested in a guy.” “Me too,” Matilda adds. We all keep moving down the sidewalk to a local club that Jack has on good authority that this girl, Baylee, is going to be at. So, we all decided to come with him, after he begged and pleaded. It’s always nice to go on a night out with these guys. We meet the end of the line and stop, all of us pulling out our identification. We move through the line quickly, flash our I.D and enter the club. It’s a massive club, modern and sleek. Its theme is red, and, boy, do they make it work. Red and silver booths line the walls, a red dance floor is topped with a gorgeous glass chandelier, the bar is silver, but all the glasses are red. It’s well done and a lot of thought has gone into it. “Let’s get drinks,” Jack yells. “You ladies go get a booth.” I take Matilda and Kaylee’s arm and pull them through the crowd to a booth. We climb into one at the back corner. Matilda slides in first, Kaylee goes into the middle, and I slip into the end. “So!” Matilda yells over the music. “Roman ...” I glance at her and shrug. “It’s the same as it was before.” She raises her brows. It’s been two weeks since Roman told me he ended it with his ex, and in that time, he’s kept up to his word and hasn’t spoken to her. He’s had some pretty major up and downs, but he’s been strong. I’ve been there by his side, and I’ve done my best to make sure I’m not putting any pressure on or crossing any boundaries. “It’s the same?” she questions.

Kaylee glances between us, eyes wide, taking the conversation in. “Yes, it’s the same. We made a mistake rushing before, we’re not doing that again. He needs time. He’s hurting.” “Yes, I know all that, but you two had something pretty special. Is it still the same?” I nod. “Yeah, it is. He talks to me all the time, we still hang out all the time.” “Just no sexy time?” I roll my eyes. “Yes, that’s correct.” “Good for you. I think you two will have something pretty special if you can hold out and help him heal.” “Yeah,” I say, and my heart twists. It’s hard pushing my feelings down for Roman. People will never quite understand how frustrating it can be to keep in a friend zone with someone you care so much about. I too need this time but being with him, it makes me feel good and it can be so hard to remember that’s all it can be for right now. Maybe even forever. Because there is a chance Roman will come out the other side of this, and just want friendship. I have to prepare myself for that, so keeping this distance emotionally is good for both of us right now. The guys return and Jack slides me a Cosmo; I take it and swallow a few sips. My phone buzzes in my purse, and I pull it out, glancing down at a message from Roman. I smile when I read it. He still has that effect on me. He can make me smile all the time, no matter what mood I’m in. That’s the best part about him. R – How’s your night? Send me a picture of you all dressed up so I can see! R – Not in a creepy stalker way. M – I feel a little like you might be a creepy stalker after that text. R – Send me a picture. M – Maybe I’ll leave it up to your imagination... R – It’s already in there. Now send me a picture! M – Nah...hehe. R – Being cheeky? Fine. But I will be getting that picture, one way or another. How is everyone? M – Well, so far so good. No one has hit on me, spilt a drink on me or vomited. R – Ha ha! I hope none of those things happen... I grin. A subtle hint. M – Well, maybe not all three things, but at least one... R – Yeah, okay, one. I hope you don’t like your top, it’s going to suck when someone spills a drink on it. I can’t help it, my heart flutters, and I grin. M – How’s your night? R – Good. Just had an old friend show up! I’ll talk to you later, okay? M – Have fun! R – You too, pretty lady. With a huge grin, I put my phone away and join the conversation. Jack’s eyes are roaming the club, looking for Baylee no doubt. I scoot closer to him. “She here yet?” “Not yet. Dammit.” “Aw, Jack, you’re hung up on this one.” He looks to me. “It’s the hard to get thing.” “So, when you get her, you’re going to get bored?”

He grunts. “I highly doubt she’s the kind of girl you get bored with. She drives you batshit crazy with just one conversation.” “Then why all the interest?” “She’s just ... she’s different, Mol.” Aw. Jack. “You think she might be the one girl you actually keep around?” He shrugs, shifting anxiously. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. I just know she is hard to get, because she’s classy. She doesn’t take anyone’s shit. I like that about her. And she’s funny, I’ve heard her talking to her friends. She just seems ... like a good type. For me, anyway.” “Well, I hope—” “There!” he whisper-yells, and I look to where his finger is pointing. There is an absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous girl about twenty feet away, wearing a stunning red dress. She’s got angel-blond hair, and as her eyes scan the crowd, I can see they’re the deepest green eyes I’ve ever seen. She’s only a little thing, petite and small. She’s absolutely breathtaking. Her looks alone would capture any man. “If she’s got balls and she’s that small, I like her already,” I say to Jack. “Don’t let her size fool you, she’s a pocket rocket.” “So,” I say, nudging him. “How are you going to play this?” He looks helplessly to me. “Honestly, Jack, if she’s hard to get, I’d say it’s genuine and not a game. She’s probably concerned about a guy like you. We women can sense a player from a mile away. She’s likely scared you’ll use her, and if she’s classy, she won’t allow herself to be used.” “So how do I go about this then?” I glance at the girl, and her eyes are on Jack. There’s something in them, for sure. She’s curious about him. The second she sees me staring, she turns away. Yes, she might have self-worth and be guarded, but she is interested. “Talk to her, keep trying, be yourself. I know that sounds cliché, Jack, but it’s true. Don’t chase her like you were, that can be off-putting, do pull back a little, I think that’ll work but don’t do it by trying to make her jealous or being a jerk. Be suave, cool, and gorgeous, just like you are, and let her come to you a little. Trust me, it’ll draw her in.” “So, I don’t go over right now and say hello?” “No,” I say. “You say hello, but you don’t stop. You stand, you hold those shoulders back, you put on your best grin, you saunter past her saying a husky hello, tell her she looks gorgeous, and keep moving. Do not, I repeat, do not look back.” He looks to me. “Dammit, this better work.” I take his hand. “It’ll work, Jack. Trust me.” He takes a breath, stands and starts walking. Jack is gorgeous. He knows it. Girls around him know it. He walks with suave, he holds himself with confidence. He walks towards the group of girls, stops when he reaches Baylee and puts on his most charming grin. Even I swoon. It’s hot. He says something to her that makes her cheeks go a little pink, and then, he turns and strides off. And just like I thought, she watches him go, looking a little confused. But mostly intrigued. Score one: Jack. ~*~*~*~

R – Hey! Come over here before you head home, meet my friend. I giggle as I stumble into the cab, trying to respond to Roman’s message. I’ve had a great night, dancing and laughing, and a few too many Cosmos. I give the cab driver Roman’s address and text him back. M – On my way. Bit drunk, oops! R – Haha, good stuff. See you soon! I arrive at Roman’s place about ten minutes later, pay the cab driver, and climb out. I skip happily into his backyard where him and another man are sitting, drinking beers. I can tell right away they’re both well on their way to being as merry as me. I wave and chirp a loud, “Hey!” as I move towards them. “Jesus.” Roman laughs, brown eyes studying me. “Had a good night?” I laugh and flop down onto a chair. “What makes you think that?” He grins at me and winks, then he pulls out his phone and holds it up, snapping a sneaky picture. “You wouldn’t send me one, now I have one. Hot, by the way.” I flush and look to his friend. “Considering he’s so rude that he won’t introduce me, my name is Molly.” His friend isn’t nearly as good looking as him, but he’s full of charm, it’s written all over his face. Sandy blond hair, slim in build, mischievous eyes. “Johnno.” I giggle. “Johnno, original.” He winks at me. “Don’t take anything he says seriously.” Roman laughs. “He’s a slut and a womanizer. He’ll tell you anything to get into bed with you.” I look to Johnno, and he winks. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind, but you don’t scare me.” “I should,” he grins. I look back to Roman, and he’s studying me with that softness in his eyes again. I didn’t think I’d see that look from him again, and I wonder what it means. I shake myself instantly and push it away. I’m here to be his friend. To be fun and happy. To be exactly what he needs to get through. I’m not here to make things harder again. “How was your night?” he asks, sliding me a beer. I take it and have a sip, then I answer his question. “It was good. Helped Jack make his woman crazy for him. I’m pretty good, I must say.” Roman snorts and I flip him the bird with a grin. “I am, thank you very much. That woman will be falling all over him.” “We’ll see. You probably told him to go up and give her a good slap on the ass.” I giggle. “I did not! I was very charming about it!” “Sure.” He chuckles. “I say a good slap on the ass would work,” Johnno says, laughing. “It would work all right,” Roman grins. “In getting you a smack to the fuckin’ eye.” I nod, laughing at Johnno when he wiggles his brows. “Maybe that’s what I want.” “Told you,” Roman says, jabbing a thumb in Johnno’s direction. “Deviot.” “We’ll get along just fine then,” I give Johnno a thumbs up. “Yeah, we will. Roman has told me all about you.” I gape and turn to Roman. “If you told him all our secret stories, I’ll punch you.” Roman winks at me, giving me a lazy half grin. “Only half our secret stories.” “He told me about your vibrating drawer.” I gasp and reach over, slapping Roman who is already laughing. “You did not!”

“It’s fucking hilarious.” Roman chuckles. “Come on, Spoosie. It’s funny!” “You’re such a knob! I can’t believe you told him that!” “What I want to know,” Johnno adds, “is what kind of toys you have in there that vibrate that hard.” I huff and flush. “She’s got some fancy thing that works the clit only.” Johnno’s brows go up, and I shoot Roman yet another look. He winks at me. “I told her any good man can do that.” Johnno nods and winks, too. “I could do that, darlin’.” “My god, you two are animals. I need to use the bathroom!” With a grin, I walk inside Roman’s house and use his bathroom. As I open the door and come out, I see Roman coming down the hall, half unzipped, no doubt about to do the same thing I did. I raise my brows as he continues to drop his pants. He’s drunk, I can tell by the lightness in his step and the easy way he smiles at me. He’s cheeky when he’s drunk. I like seeing that side of him come out. “I shaved my balls today,” he says, wiggling his brows. “How wonderful.” I giggle. “I’m so happy for you.” “Want to touch them?” “No, no I do not.” He grins and nods. “Yes, yes you do.” I slip past him, nudging him as I go. “You feel them for me, tell me how that works out,” I call as I disappear down the hall. “Okay!” he calls. I sit back down outside and my phone dings with a message. I look down and see a picture of Roman’s ... balls. I burst out laughing. That little devil. M – Did you just send me a picture of your balls? R – Yep. M – Thanks! Really! R – You’re welcome! I snort and put the phone away, looking to Johnno. “He just sent me a picture of his balls, from the bathroom.” Johnno chuckles. “Yeah, good old boy. He’s got a deviot side tucked in there. Sounds like he met someone awesome when he met you.” I smile, genuinely. “Aw, thanks.” “He’s told me a lot about you. You’re important to him. I can see why. You’re a great chick.” I hold Johnno’s eyes. “Thank you, that means a lot. He’s had a hard time lately, I’m glad I can make things easier for him.” “Yeah,” Johnno agrees. “He has. That bitch he’s been hung up on has done him no good.” “No, no she has not.” “Hope she fucks off soon.” I nod in agreeance and stand again. “I’m going to grab some water!” “Cheater!” Johnno calls as I disappear into the kitchen laughing. Roman steps in just as I reach for a glass. He steps forward, catches my wrist, and quite literally jerks me towards him. I stumble a little bit and then crash against him. He catches me, arms wrapping around me, and he just hangs onto me. I smile and wrap my arms around his waist, holding him back. It’s been a while since we’ve hugged. “Glad you’re here,” he murmurs. My heart softens.

In that moment, I know I’m doing the best thing in the world just being his friend right now. “Me too, spunky.” He lets me go and stares at the glass I was about to pick up. “You were not just about to drink water.” I grin. He wraps a hand around the back of my head and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.” With that, he disappears outside again. And hope flutters its way back into my heart.

CHAPTER 23 I slap Roman’s hand away. He slaps mine back. “Stop it, Roman! This is my food, I will beat you.” “You’re doing it wrong.” “Do not make me come over there!” He grins and slaps my hand again, knocking the spoon from it. It skitters across the countertop before launching onto the floor with a loud clang. “That’s. It.” I spin around and lunge at him, swiping the cake mixture that’s on now on my hand over his face. Roaring with laughter, he lunges backwards and hits the counter. There’s nowhere else for him to go. I swipe my hand across his face and he groans, slapping it away while trying to catch me around the waist and push me back. I slam into his chest and laugh even harder. “You’re such a fucking animal!” I giggle and swipe my hand across his face again. He catches it and jerks back. Then ... the laughter stops. Our eyes meet. And it’s there. What it is, I do not know. I know he’s still hurting, I know he’s not ready, I know I’m not ready, but there is something. I swallow, and I want to make my eyes go anywhere else, but they just hold his. He reaches down, cupping my chin in his hand, and dammit, I should stop it. But I can’t. He tilts my head back and brings his lips down over mine. The kiss isn’t long, but it isn’t short. It’s incredible. Our lips glide over one another ’s for a few minutes, and then I take a shaky step back. I’m not sure what the hell that was, but I’m fairly certain it shouldn’t have happened. Our eyes hold, and then I turn, walking back to the cake. For a few minutes, neither of us says anything. After a bit, I figure the best thing to do is to just keep going, and not make a big deal of it. So, that’s what I do. “This cake is going to be amazing!” Roman walks up beside me and shoves his finger in the mix and puts it into his mouth. “I dunno,” he murmurs. “I think it’s pretty average.” I shove him. He shoves me back. “So, heard anymore from dickface in the last few weeks?” he asks me. I shake my head. “Nah, not at all. I think he finally got the point.” “You hurt about that?” I think about it. Honestly, I don’t think my feelings for Michael were ever what they were supposed to be, but I only see that now. Sometimes I still think about it, and it hurts, but I realise it was the best thing that could have ever happened, me moving on from him. “Sometimes I think I still have lingering feelings for him, but then I think about how he behaved and I honestly think I’m over it. It still hurts sometimes, the way he treated me, but I’m better for it now.”

“Yeah, I feel ya.” I turn to him. “What about you? How are you coping?” He shrugs. “I’m getting there. Some days I’m a bit down, but mostly I’m angry now. Angry that she just didn’t give a crap. I expected it, obviously, but it still hurts to think about.” “Have you spoken to her?” My heart pounds as I wait for his answer. “Nah. I haven’t.” That must be hard, but I don’t say anything more about it. He doesn’t need to be reminded of it, I’m sure. He’s been through enough, he doesn’t need me constantly bringing it to his attention. “We should do something before you go back to work?” I suggest. “Yeah, for sure. What do you have in mind?” “I don’t know. We should go and stay out at your property and do some more shooting.” He nods, eyes lighting up. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll organise it for the weekend. We can camp the night!” “Yeah, awesome.” I smile. “Sounds fun.” He grins. “We’ll get heaps more watermelons this time, make it count.” I laugh. “Sounds good!” We continue baking, and when we’re done, curl up and watch re-runs of Seinfeld on television. It feels good to have him back in my life. But I just can’t fight the constant fear that she will jump back and take that from me again. And I don’t think I could handle that. I don’t think I can nearly lose him twice. ~*~*~*~ M – Are you ok? I glance down at my phone. I haven’t heard from Roman for a whole day. That’s unusual. He never not answers me. Never. My stomach twists and that panicked feeling washes over my body. Is he talking to her? Did she ring him up? Oh, God, is he going to take her back and leave me, and he’s just too afraid to tell me that? My mind goes crazy, and the longer he doesn’t reply, the worse it gets. God damn. Stop being stupid, Molly. He’s probably just busy. But something in my gut says something isn’t right. Something just tells me it’s not okay. I text him again. M – I’m worried. Are you ok? Please tell me you’re okay? Another hour passes and night falls, but nothing comes through. Finally, around eight PM, I get a message. R – I’m ok. No. No, he’s not. Every bad thought I’ve had flashes through my mind, and I start conjuring up every terrible scenario in my head. One thing I know for sure, is that he’s spoken to her. The shift in his mood, the way he’s acting, it’s unlike him. And because of that, I know it has to do with her. Tears fill my eyes, and my heart aches in a way I haven’t experienced before. Was I stupid thinking that he really was trying to move on? Have I done it again? Have I fooled myself once again?

I grab my car keys and decide to go over there and see if he’s okay. The drive seems like it takes forever, and when I arrive he’s sitting out the front with a beer. I climb out of the car and walk up to him, smiling even though the panic and fear inside me feels like it’s consuming me. “Hey,” he says. “Hey. I just wanted to see if you’re okay. I was worried about you.” “I’m all good.” He’s not. I can see it in his eyes. The pain. Dammit. God. Dammit. One step forward, two steps backwards. “You’re not,” I say, sitting down on the free chair beside him. “Have a beer with me.” He slides me a beer and I take it. His phone makes a beeping sound, and he glances down at it, responds, and then looks back to me. Is that her texting him? Oh, God. An unfamiliar panic rises in my chest, and because of it, I make the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I push him. I think about my own feelings. I let my insecurities rise to the surface and eat me alive. And I do something I can’t take back. “You’re talking to her again, aren’t you?” I snap, hating the way my voice sounds. His eyes flash to me. “I don’t want your judgement, Molly.” Pain explodes in my chest. Dammit. He’s talking to her. We’re going to go back to square one. We’re going to push him through this yet again. “You said you weren’t going to talk with her.” Who is this girl speaking? He narrows his eyes. “It was fucking once, and it was an amicable conversation.” “You ignored me all afternoon.” His jaw tics and his eyes flash with anger. “Yeah because it might have been a friendly, simple conversation but it still takes some time to recover from. I don’t need you judging me right now. I just need you to let me be.” “How did it feel?” I snap. “Honestly? How did talking to her make you feel? Did it make you feel good? You’re never going to move on if you don’t stop.” He looks hurt. Why are these words coming out of my mouth? Who the hell am I right now? “Stop,” he warns. “I’m doing the best I can to get by. I’m trying. I just need you to have a beer with me and not judge me.” “I just ... I just hate it! Everything is going good and then she pops back up and we’re right back to square one. She doesn’t care about you, but you keep letting her affect you. I’m trying so hard here.” “Stop, please.” “I check on you, give you nice things, hang out with you, do everything just to see you smile and what does she do for you? What does she do? But she comes back in and we’re right back here again. You were my friend, then you told me you had feelings for me, then you gave me the flick, then the other night ... What the hell!” He looks like I’ve slapped him. “You knew I was still in love with her when we were sleeping together. I told you that when we first met.” “You told me you were over it!” I scream.

“I was fucking over it!” he roars back. “No, you weren’t. You weren’t.” “This is why I didn’t want anything more with you, Molly,” he barks. “I told you I wasn’t ready for anything serious, you agreed too. You knew it was just sex.” His words hit me like a slap to the face. Just. Sex. “Thanks so much for making me feel like fucking nothing,” I whisper. “Just sex. I can’t believe you just said that.” “That’s what it was,” he growls, frustrated. “You know it was. Back then, right at the start, that’s what it was.” “You told me you had feelings for me,” I yell, tears breaking free and tumbling down my cheeks. “I did develop feelings for you, but at the time, we were just having fun. We made that clear. You got attached too soon, Molly. I never lied to you. I told you I couldn’t give you anything right then, that I needed time.” “You used me.” “Fuck. Stop.” “I thought we had something special here, I was wrong. I just give, give, give to you, Roman, and you just can’t fucking see the forest through the trees. You’re so wrapped up in that ... that woman, that you can’t see what’s right in front of you. I’m done. Fuck. This.” “Stop it,” he says, looking like I’m ripping his heart out. “Just fucking stop.” He stands, looking so angry. “Leave me be,” he mumbles, disappearing inside. “Fine,” I mutter to myself, turning and climbing back into my car. As soon as I get in, the tears burst forward. I know I’ve fucked up. I know it deep down in my chest. What the hell did I just do?

CHAPTER 24 I’m a fool. I’m a god damned fool. There are literally no words to describe the horror I feel over my actions. I don’t know what the hell got into me. I let my own insecurities and hurt pour out and flood him, when he didn’t need it. When did I get so cold? So heartless? He was hurting, probably devastated at the realisation that it was truly over, and he needed me to just understand, but what did I do? I made it about myself. I fucked up in such a big way. There is a moment in every person’s life when they realise that they’ve made a mistake that will ultimately make or break them. This moment is my mistake. For a small, horrible second, I let myself become someone I hate. I became worse than his ex, I became a selfish, ungrateful, unsupportive friend. I let him down when he needed me. I failed. I’m utterly ashamed of myself. I should understand just how much it hurts to have your heart broken. Poor guy, it’s barely been a month and he’s been so strong about it, then I came crashing in and just fucked that all up. I made him feel guilty for having one moment, one moment in a month where he spoke to her. It’s not my damned business. God, no one could have told me not to talk to Michael when I was hurting. The strength Roman has shown ... It’s incredible. And I made him feel like nothing for it. I stare down at my phone. I’ve thought about what I should say to make this better, but I just can’t think of the words. I have to go and see him, I have to pray he’ll accept my apology, I have to hope that I haven’t screwed up so badly that this will never get fixed. He’s the best person I know, I can’t believe I was so harsh. It’s been a day, and I can only hope that’s enough time. I climb into my car and take the drive over there. His car is there when I arrive, so with a deep, terrified breath, I climb out and walk up to his front door. I knock, and a moment later he appears. His eyes ... God, I’m such a horrible person. He looks tired. Worn. “Can I come in?” I say softly. He opens the door and lets me in. I walk over and sit down on the couch. He sits on the opposite one and stares at me, for a moment, neither of us speaks, then finally I muster up the courage to say the words that he needs to hear. “I was wrong,” I begin, staring down at my hands. “I have never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life. Honestly, Roman, I was a terrible terrible person to you yesterday. What I did, the way I attacked you, it should have never happened. I had absolutely no right. I let my own insecurities and fears consume me and I spoke without thought. I acted without understanding how you might feel.” My hands shake, so I press them together between my knees. “It isn’t my business what you do and don’t do with her. It’s not my place. It’s not up to me to tell you that you can’t talk to her. Fact of the matter is, it was never my business. I let my feelings act for me, and for a small, horrible second of my life, I became worse than her. When you needed me, I wasn’t there; instead, I was making you feel worthless for something that wasn’t your fault. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he says, his voice soft, husky. I look up and hold his eyes. “I shouldn’t have been such a prick to you, either. I just need you to let me get through this how I need to get through this, sometimes I’m going to have bad days like that, sometimes I might speak briefly to her, sometimes I’m going to fail, Molly. I’m trying my hardest. I do want to move on. I do want to get past this. I just needed you to be my friend yesterday, I just needed you.” My heart aches. “I know you did, and I let you down. For that I’m so incredibly sorry.” “I didn’t mean what I said, you weren’t just sex, it wasn’t meant to come out like that. You know what I was saying. I told you I didn’t want anything serious that soon, you agreed to that, but I also know I fucked up so bad because I shouldn’t have done it to begin with. I’m fucking sorry for being such a dick.” “You’re not a dick, and honestly, I shouldn’t have done it either because I did care about you.” “Yeah, I know. But that was then. I’m going to fuck up sometimes now, I’m trying not to hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you. I fucking hate myself for what I’ve put you through. Honestly, I really did want things to work out between us then, it was just too soon. I feel like a pig for the way I’m treating you. I can’t get hold of myself, but I should never lead you on.” I hold his eyes. “Let’s just leave it in the past where it belongs. We can’t change it, and honestly, I think we both kind of rebounded a little on each other when we probably shouldn’t have. That was a mistake we both made, but we came through the other side, we adore each other, let’s just get past this as the friends we are now, and leave the rest where it needs to be, in the past.” He nods. “Yeah, sounds good to me.” “Do you forgive me?” He looks to me. “Yeah, of course. Do you forgive me?” “Gosh yes. Can we hug and pretend yesterday never ever, ever, ever happened?” He laughs and stands, opening his arms to me. “Get over here, punk.” I step up to him and let him wrap his arms around me, and I hang on tight. Dammit, do I hang on tight. ~*~*~*~ ONE MONTH LATER “I’m so freaking excited!” I squeal, bouncing up and down in the chair of Roman’s truck. We’re finally heading out to his property to go camping. We planned it a while back, but after our fight it just didn’t feel right. Now things are back to normal, and he’s heaps happier and finally moving on properly from his ex, it’s finally time to get out here and spend some time on the land. I’m super excited about it. “You’re not going to cry that it’s scary and you don’t like sleeping in tents or anything, are you?” Roman teases. I snort. “No! I’m totally okay with sleeping in a tent and making a fire.” “I brought a lighter, you know, just in case. We all know how good you are at lighting fires.” I feign horror. “Don’t pay out on my fire lighting skills, Roman. It might take me approximately eighteen days of rubbing sticks together, but you will get a fire!” He laughs. “Or, I could just use the lighter and save us all the embarrassment.” I roll my eyes and bounce around as the truck goes over the dirt road leading up to his place. “You’re staring at me,” he says and I blink. “What?” “You ... always stare at me when I drive.” I giggle. “I do not.”

“Yes, you do. Always.” I gape. “What? Are you serious?” “Yep.” He grins. “Every time I’m driving, you’re just sitting there, staring, like a weirdo.” “Oh, my god,” I moan, covering my face. “I’m a total creeper.” He nods with a grin. “I can’t figure out if you’re checking me out or if you’re just weird.” I lower my hands and grin. “I’m totally checking you out, and I think that alone makes it worse.” He nods. “I think you’re right. Weirdo.” I smile and turn and stare out the window. “Well, now you’re putting your back to me,” he teases lightly. I flip him the bird over my shoulder. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, Roman.” “What a stupid statement,” he pipes up and I turn back to him. “Cake is supposed to be eaten, is it not?” I laugh. “I think they mean you can’t keep it there, looking all pretty and perfect, and eat it at the same time. You have to pick one or the other. You’re either eating it or admiring it, but you can’t do both.” He grunts. “Stupid statement.” I giggle. “Men.” “Women!” We both laugh. “Did you bring jeans on this camping trip?” he asks. “I don’t want you running around in your underwear—you’ll scare off the wildlife.” I reach over and punch him in the arm. “If I want to scare off the wildlife, I’ll scare off the wildlife. I’m okay with that. At least they won’t harm me, then.” “Well, maybe that was my plan.” He wiggles his brows. “I knew it all along, you’re a serial killer!” He winks at me. “I was wondering how long it would take you to figure out.” I press a hand over to my mouth and fake gasp. “How are you going to kill me? Can I at least know before I die?” “I’m going to tie you up like a star to two trees and leave you naked. Then I’m just going to see what happens. I vote the town people figure it out first and all the men get in there and have a great time with you.” I roll my eyes. “How original.” “There will be dicks hitting you from all angles, just—” he puts his hands up quickly and makes out like there is dicks hitting him all over his face “—like that.” “You’re a pig.” I chuckle. “Seriously.” He reaches over and shoves me playfully. “Nah, don’t stress, I’m just going to shoot you.” “Wow, you just get better and better.” He winks at me. This should be a fun night.

CHAPTER 25 I shove the stick into the fire place and growl. Roman laughs behind me. “Not so savvy now are you, beautiful?” “Shut up,” I grumble, leaning down and trying to light it again. It flickers, but nothing happens. “I could do it for you if-” “Do not touch my fire!” I snap, shuffling the sticks around again. Roman snorts and I turn, glaring at him. He gives me a shit eating grin, and flops down into a chair, cracking a beer. He looks gorgeous tonight, in a black tee and a pair of faded jeans. His hair is freshly cut, and only slightly messy on his head. His eyes are light, happy. It’s the best I’ve ever seen him. “Well, if you won’t let me help, then by all means, I’ll sit back and enjoy the show.” I mumble under my breath and keep trying to light the fire. It takes me a solid half an hour, but finally a flame lights and holds. I launch up and scream, “Yes!! I knew it!!” Roman rolls his eyes and hands me a beer. “Get over here.” “Let me do my victory dance first.” I put my arms out in front of me, and start wiggling my way around the fire. Roman shakes his head, and when I meet his eyes, they’re soft and lusty. “Your ass ...” he murmurs. “Fuck.” I flush and take the beer from his hand, flopping down into my chair. He reaches over, grabbing the leg of it, and dragging it so it’s right next to his. “Personal bubble, Roman.” “Shut up.” Shrugging, I take advantage of the situation and throw my leg up onto his lap. He raises his brows, and looks down at it. “Feel free to flick it off, but we both know you want it there.” He huffs. “What size is your foot anyway? Jesus, I’m fairly certain a seven-year-old boy has bigger feet than you.” I gasp and look at my feet. “They are not that small.” “They’re small, like your hands.” I raise a hand and stare at it. “Well, life would suck if I was a boy then, wouldn’t it?” He raises his brows. “How so?” “Haven’t you heard the old secret? If a man has big hands and big feet ...” Roman rolls his eyes. “Fuck off. That’s a load of shit.” “It’s not.” “Is fucking so. Knew a man once, had massive hands and feet, tiniest dick I ever saw.” I giggle and then raise my brows. “What were you doing looking at his dick, Roman?” He slaps my thigh and I squeal. His hand instantly goes back and rubs the spot he hit. He keeps rubbing and a spark shoots straight to my core. God damn I want him. I know I shouldn’t, because it’s still probably too soon even though he’s doing really well, but he makes it really hard when he rubs my leg like that. I feel a shift under my foot, and our eyes dart to each other ’s.

“Are you getting a boner?” He winks. “Your foot is on my lap, I’m rubbing your thigh, what do you think?” “Oh, my god. Animal.” I got to pull my foot away, but he jerks it back, keeping it there. He keeps his hand on my leg. I glance out at the view, where the sun is slowly starting to set. “It really is beautiful out here,” I say softly. “Yeah, it is.” “Are you sad about selling it?” He shrugs. “Yes and no. I love it out here, but I don’t have time for it anymore, and I want something closer to where I live now.” “Yeah, I get that.” “Still, it’ll fucking suck getting rid of it.” “Yeah, it will.” His hand inches further up my thigh, and I make no move to stop him. His brown eyes swing to mine, and by the time they connect, my heart is pounding. “Should we be doing this?” I say softly. “I hurt you before, but it was never intentional, please believe that. I wasn’t ready, I had to finish it properly. I’m done with it now. I haven’t spoken to her for over six weeks. I feel okay with moving on. I want to move on.” “Yeah, I believe you, but ... I don’t want to get hurt again.” “Then we go slow,” he offers. I stare down at his hand. “Sex is going slow?” He lifts his hand off straight away. “If you don’t want to, I completely understand. I will not make you feel shit about wanting to wait. It’s your choice, gorgeous.” But I do want to. I do. Do I take the risk again? It is different this time, because he doesn’t speak with her anymore and made the choice on his own to move on. But, the fact of the matter is, there is still lingering hurt there. Will doing this make him feel worse? Will it make me feel worse? “You’re thinking too much again,” he murmurs. “Stop. It’s over, I mean that. You know I mean that. I want to see what this turns into. I like you. I really fucking adore you, Molly. Can we just go with the flow and see where it goes?” I stare into his eyes. “Men say that all the time, and all it ever is, is casual. I care about you, I want this, but I’m not just going to be someone’s almost girlfriend, either. I’m worth more than that. We can go slow, but if we go slow, we’re exclusive, still. I don’t want to just be a good time until you feel better.” He nods. “Not interested in anyone else.” “And you’re not just doing this for sex?” He looks a little hurt by that. “Honestly, if that was the case, I would have gone out and just gotten sex six weeks ago. I haven’t. I have spent all my time with you. Don’t pretend you don’t know that what we have here is real, Molly. We have a true connection, you know it as well as I do, I just don’t want to jump straight back into a full-blown relationship right this second because I think it’ll break us, but it is something I want to take slow and get to that point.” I exhale. “I know what we have is special, but I’m a little ... guarded after last time.” “That’s why we go slow. Let’s just hang out, let happen what needs to happen, and if it goes well, we’ll make it official.” “Okay, Roman,” I say gently. “But please, please, don’t hurt me again.”

He releases my thigh and reaches over, cupping my jaw, turning my face towards his. “You’re the best thing I have. I won’t hurt you again. Please trust that.” I hold his eyes. And I do trust that. Because I trust him. ~*~*~*~ Roman’s hand cups my jaw, his mouth crashes against mine, our bodies move together and God, it feels incredible. So fucking incredible. We’re both covered in a light sheen of sweat, we’re naked, he’s hovering over me, thrusting slowly, fucking me with a perfection I didn’t think was possible. I hook my leg around his, arching up and taking him deeper. He feels so fucking good. He releases my jaw and my lips, gliding his hands up my arms until he captures my hands above my head with his. He hangs on tightly, one of his big hands curling around both my little ones. His chest presses against mine, his forehead rests against mine, and he keeps up the slow, torturous pace. “Feels so good,” I whisper. “It feels so good.” “Yeah,” he rasps. “Fuck.” I shift my hips, rotating them slightly, and I can feel it building, deep inside me. It starts as a slow burn, radiating from my core slowly outwards until finally it explodes. I gasp his name and his fingers tighten around mine as he picks up the pace, fucking me harder, deeper. “One more, baby,” he growls. “Come with me.” I tremble beneath him and my head falls backwards, he fucks me so hard our bodies jerk back and forth, and when I come again, it’s explosive. Unlike any other I’ve felt. “Roman!” I shriek. “Fuck,” he rasps. “Yeah.” We both tremble for a long few minutes after he stops, and his forehead drops against mine. His warm breath tickles my mouth, and I tilt up, kissing him softly on the lips before he rolls off and pulls me into his arms. “That was fucking awesome,” he says softly. “Nothing like tent sex,” I whisper. “Fuck yeah.” I put a hand on his chest, and stroke my fingers over his skin. He runs his fingers through my hair, and we just lay there in silence for a while. “Do you think this was how our story was meant to go?” I ask. He stops stroking for a second, thinks, and then keeps going. “Yeah, I think so. I’ve met a lot of people in my life, had a few girlfriends, but never met anyone I felt like I was meant to have there the way I did with you. I don’t know what it was, but I do believe you were put in my path, and fuck knows we’ve gone through a bit in a short time, but look at us now.” “I think we’re pretty awesome.” “Fuck yeah we are.” “As much as I hate what happened, I feel like how we are now is better than how we were before.” “How do you mean?” “Well before we had a lot of fun, joked, had sex, and honestly at the time I thought it was serious, but how we are now together, our conversations are deeper, more meaningful, it’s far more real. I do think maybe what we had a first was a rebound, but our connection was real, and it’s why we made it through and came back to each other.” He thinks about it for a second, and then nods. “You’re probably right.”

“I think you had to go through what you did, as hard as it was at the time, I think if you didn’t, we wouldn’t be where we are now. You’d still be hanging on a line, not fully moving on with your life.” He squeezes me tighter. “Yeah, again, I think you’re right. I was never going to move on until she fucked me over for a final time.” “Do you still love her?” He goes quiet and I regret asking him that, for a second at least, until he answers. “Honestly, I wonder if I ever actually did or if what I felt was an attachment, or even a desperation of some sort. If she had ended it properly and just let me go, I think I would have moved on quite quickly, but it was the distance and the not knowing or understanding, I guess I became obsessed with it. She refused to give me closure, and without closure, it can be very hard to just shut a door.” That makes sense. “But you were right, there is no possible way that my love for her was genuine, because there is nothing good about her to love. She’s one of the worst people I know, I see that now. It still hurts sometimes, and there are days I feel shitty, but mostly I feel good. Mostly, I feel okay. I’ve accepted it and really, I’m so fucking glad I never went back.” Me too. God. Me. Too.

CHAPTER 26 “You be nice to him!” I warn my dad as Roman’s truck pulls up at the compound. My father crosses his big arms and raises his brows at me. “I’ll do whatever I want. I’m your dad, I’m allowed.” “Dad!” I whine. “Seriously. Don’t be an ass.” He shoots me a glare and I give him a big, cheesy smile. “Careful, darlin’, you’re not too old to go over my knee.” I roll my eyes. “Stop stirring him up, honey,” Mom says, nudging dad with her shoulder. “You know he’s like a big angry bear when poked.” Dad gives her a look, and winks. “Ew,” I mutter. “Well, that’s what you get for being a smart ass,” he says to me, then his eyes flick back to Roman who is walking in confidently. “Oh, he’s cute!” Mom says. “Right?” I grin. “Fuck sakes,” Dad mutters, walking forward to meet Roman. Roman extends his hand straight away. “Maddox, nice to meet you. I’m Roman.” Dad raises his brows, but takes Roman’s hand. They shake. There is no manly force; obviously, Dad is impressed by Roman’s hand shake. “Good to meet you. Heard a lot about you.” Roman’s eyes flick to me, and he grins. “I’m sure most of it was good, half of it was probably fucking bad, I deserved all of it. But I can assure you, it’ll be all good from now onwards.” Dad studies him, then asks, “You drink beer?” Roman nods. “You got ink,” Dad nods at Roman’s bicep, which looks fucking hot in the shirt he’s wearing. “You ride?” “Used to own a Harley,” Roman adds. “You’re in then, let’s go.” I giggle and walk over to Roman, who puts an arm around my shoulder as we follow them back into the club. Matilda comes running out before we’ve even made it to the house, and squeals Roman’s name happily. “Finally, he’s here, I’m so excited.” “Hey, Matilda.” Roman chuckles. “Oh, this is so good. I like him, he’s a good one, right?” she says to Dad, wiggling her brows. “I don’t know how I produced you, sweetheart.” Dad grins at her. “But fuck you have way too much energy.” She rolls her eyes and takes Roman’s arm. “Let’s go inside and meet everyone else. We’re playing Twister.” “Sweet Jesus,” I groan. “Not again.” “Shut up. She loves it,” Matilda says to Roman. “I know,” Roman responds and I shove him. “Ohh, kinky, you two are up next then!”

We walk into the club house and I walk Roman through all the introductions, the poor guy shakes about twenty hands, but he does it with ease. He’s not at all intimidated by the bikers, and I love that about him. When we’re done, I join Jack, Phoenix, Quinn, Diesel, Mercedes, and Kaylee in the room where they’re drinking, playing twister and generally being pains in the asses. “Guys,” I say when we walk in. “Oh. He’s here!” Phoenix says, launching out of his chair. “Finally. She’s told us so many raunchy sex stories about you.” I look to Roman and he raises his brows. “I totally have not.” “Yep, she told us about that time in the tent,” Quinn says, shaking Roman’s hand. “Nice work, brother.” My face flushes. “How the hell did you know about that?” His eyes swing to Matilda and she giggles. “You’re a terrible secret keeper!” I say, picking up a Cheeto and throwing it across the room at her. “Jack,” Jack says, stepping up to Roman and sizing him up. Then he extends his hand. “Roman. Good to meet you.” They stare at each other a few minutes, neither breaking eye contact, then Jack looks to me with a grin. “He wasn’t afraid of my death stare, he’s in.” Roman laughs and Jack thrusts him a beer. I roll my eyes. “Nobody is afraid of your death stare, Jack. It’s terrible.” Jack looks to Roman. “Was it terrible?” “Fuckin’ terrible.” Jack sighs. “I gotta work on that.” I finish all the introductions, with Diesel being the most reserved. He’s just like Mack, he always sits back and inspects people before making a decision about them. “How are you two?” I ask him and Mercy when we’re all sitting down, drinking. “Good,” she says, throwing her leg onto Diesel’s lap. “What have I told you about the legs on my lap, babe,” he says to her, giving her a gorgeous grin. “What was my response, honey? Oh, that’s right, I don’t care.” Roman chuckles. “You’ll get used to Mercedes and Diesel,” I say. “She’s a pain in his ass, but he loves her.” “He really does,” Mercy grins. “He loves the shit out of me.” Diesel grunts. “That’s a grunt of love,” she informs us. Diesel sighs. “That’s a sigh of satisfaction.” Diesel looks to us. “Do you see what I have to fucking put up with?” She leans over and grabs his face, kissing him. I smile. Roman takes my hand. Everything is fucking awesome. Finally. ~*~*~*~ With bleary eyes, I open the door and stare blankly at the man standing in my doorway. Michael.

He has some nerve coming back here after what he did, but, it would appear he has no brains because here he is, standing on my doorstep in the middle of the night. I rub my eyes and then mumble, “What the hell are you doing here?” “You need to tell those bikers to back off.” I shake my head. “Seriously, what the hell are you doing here?” “I swear, they’re fucking following me. I left you alone, I did what that fucking idiot wanted, but I know they’re still watching me.” Paranoid much? “Honestly, Michael, you’re losing it. They’re not following you. Trust me, if they wanted to hurt you, they would have done it. Move on, I have.” “I won’t fucking move on!” he barks. “Fucking you was the worst mistake of my life, I can’t believe I got involved with you, now I’ve got crazy people watching my every move.” “Firstly,” I snap. “If crazy people are watching your every move it’s because you’ve done something to make them. It isn’t my family. Secondly, believe me when I say fucking you was the worst mistake I’ve ever made, too.” “Fuck you, Molly.” He steps forward, and a dark, angry voice comes from behind me. “Take another step, I will break your fucking legs.” Roman is here. Michael didn’t know that. “Who the fuck is that?” Michael asks. “That’s the man who picked me up when you left me broken on the ground, he’s also the man I’m seeing. Now, if you don’t mind, Michael, I’d appreciate if you leave.” “Did you tell him?” Michael demands as Roman appears beside me at the door, his face hard and angry. “Is it you who is fucking following me? I didn’t mean to hit her. I was drunk. Fuck, I made one mistake.” “What?” Roman says, his voice icy. “I ...” Michael’s eyes widen, and flicker to me. “He hit you?” Roman asks, looking down at me. Uh oh. “It was a while ago and—” I begin, but my words are cut off. Roman takes a step forward and he punches Michael so hard he stumbles backwards and falls down the front steps. I gasp, pressing a hand to my mouth. Roman steps out the front door and glances down at Michael, who is groaning and holding his nose, which is spurting with blood. “Get the fuck away from her house, and believe me, if you come here again, you really will have someone following your filthy fuckin’ ass. Get lost. Do not fucking come back.” Roman is scary when he’s mad. And hot. Holy fucking hot. Michael nods, stammering a sorry, and scrambles down the front path. Roman turns to me and opens his mouth to speak, but I launch at him. He catches me and takes two steps back until his back hits a pole on the front porch. I smash my lips against his and kiss him so hard we’re both left breathless. “Wha—” he says, but I don’t let him stop. I unhook my legs, grab his shirt, and pull him towards me until my back presses against the wall of the house. Then I kiss him again, while reaching down and jerking his pants down just enough to free his cock.

“Molly,” he growls. “We’re out the front still.” “Don’t care,” I murmur. “That was so fucking hot. I need you, right now.” He groans when I curl my hand around his dick, squeezing. “He hit you,” he rasps as I lift my nightie and pull my panties aside. “Shhh.” “You didn’t tell me.” I guide his cock to my entrance and his hand falls to my hip. “Stop talking and fuck me while you’re wound up and angry.” “You’re in trouble for not telling me,” he growls, grabbing my leg and putting it around his hip. “Then punish me right now.” He thrusts inside me in one, fluid stroke. I gasp, he grunts, and then he punishes me. Right there against the wall. My back scraping, his fingers digging into my hips, my body arching for him, his cock driving into me. Yes, he punishes me all right. And it’s fucking incredible. ~*~*~*~ “One two three four, I declare a thumb war!” Roman pushes his thumb down over mine right away, coffee in one hand, shirtless perfection standing in my kitchen the next morning. “You’re failing, again, Spoosie.” “I will win. One day, one day ...” I wiggle my finger in his face and spread my legs when he steps up to where I’m sitting on the counter. He nestles between them and leans forward, pressing a kiss to my lips. “No, you won’t,” he says. “Fuck you, I will so.” “Fuck you, you will not.” I bite his bottom lip, and he chuckles, grabbing my hip and squeezing. “You’re a tosser,” I say snatching his coffee and taking a sip. “Yes, thank you.” “Sometimes I wonder how we ever became friends, you have such a shitty attitude.” He grins and flicks the end of my nose. “Whatever. You love my attitude. You’re the one who is an emotional little butterfly.” I roll my eyes. “I am not an emotional little butterfly.” “Yeah, beautiful, you are.” I grunt. “Am. Not.” “Are. So.” He steps away and crooks a finger at me. “What?” “Shower time.” I cross my arms. “Nope.” “Get over here, or it’ll hurt,” he warns, but his eyes are dancing. “Make me.” He takes a step towards me, and I launch off the counter and run out of the kitchen. He comes after me right away, and squealing, I duck around a corner but his long legs make it impossible to get away

from him. He catches me around the waist and launches us onto the couch. We land with a laugh, him over top of me, grinning down at me. “You don’t play fair, you have those long legs.” He winks at me and presses a kiss to my lips. “Now, we can play this the nice way or the hard way. Are you going to be a good girl and get up and let me take you to the shower, where I will proceed to wash and fuck you, or are you going to play hard to get, in which case, I’ll smack your ass, and then take you to the shower and wash and fuck you.” “Okay, let me up,” I say, inwardly grinning. He lets me up, and I launch off running again. “I vote hard to get!” He bursts out laughing, and chases me. I laugh all the way to the bathroom. I keep laughing, even when he gets hold of me, and his hand makes my ass burn. I don’t laugh when he fucks me in the shower. Nice and slow. Perfect.

EPILOGUE “That is not how a damned egg rolls, woman!” Roman laughs. I lay flat on my back, trying to pull my knees to my chest. “Come off it, it is so.” “It is fucking not, that’s the worst egg roll I’ve ever seen in my life.” “What would you know?” Matilda yells, trying to do it, too. “You have never seen an egg roll until you met us.” “And you’re doing a poor job and showing me how it goes,” Roman throws back. “Just because my sister likes you, Roman, doesn’t mean I won’t come over there and box you in the ears.” We all burst out laughing. “Honestly, Matilda,” Jack snorts. “Box his ears? How old are you?” Matilda grunts, trying to get her legs back to her chest. “Shut up, Jack. I’ll dick punch you.” “Now that I’d like to see,” Phoenix laughs, throwing back another shot. “Me too,” I say, leaping to my feet. “How did that egg rolling go?” Roman asks, winking at me. “Shut it, spunky, I will hurt you.” He laughs and takes my arm, pulling me down onto his lap. He wraps an arm around my waist and I smile, feeling so damned good inside. It’s been two months since the night we decided to go slowly, and things have been awesome. We spend most of our time together, he’s healing, I’m healed, and it feels natural. Nothing is pressured this time, there is no ex in the picture, and we’re both happy as we can be. I think I’m falling in love with him. I’m certain he feels the same. It’s incredible. “Look,” Matilda says, finally getting the egg roll. “Look!” We all look to her, and then burst out laughing. “Is that how ridiculous I look?” I ask Roman. He squeezes me. “Worse.” I curse to myself. “God. It’s a wonder you’re still talking to me.” “I don’t really get a choice. You’ll stalk me if I don’t.” I laugh. “Whatever. Spooser.” He kisses my neck. “Mmmmhmmmm.” “God, get a room!” Quinn mumbles. “Don’t be jealous because you’re not getting any,” Jack throws at him. “Neither are you, dickhead.” Jack winks. “Workin’ on it, bro. She’s coming around.” “Baylee?” I ask. “Yeah. She said hello to me the other day, and I just nodded and kept walking.” “Jack!” I cry, laughing. “Poor girl probably thinks you have a mental disorder.” “Probably.” He chuckles. “But it’s working.”

“Nice work,” I nod. “Now if you can just get her phone number, you’ll be one step closer to actually having a conversation.” He flips me the bird. “Shut up, Mol. Not all of us put our stalking skills out there to attract our men.” “Not sure if you insulted me or her then.” Roman laughs. “I think both of us,” I add. “But he doesn’t understand the powerful and incredible effects of stalking.” “No,” Roman agrees. “There is nothing like waking up, looking out your window, and seeing a girl sleeping on the ground.” I giggle and slap Roman’s arm. “I did not do that.” “You wanted to.” He grins, kissing my neck again. “Did not.” “Did too.” “Oh, my god,” Matilda moans. “Molly, come and help me get some more ice before I vomit.” I laugh and stand, turning and staring down at Roman. He looks up at me, and those brown eyes are light, soft and happy. They haven’t been like that for a while, but finally, they’re back to the way they should be. He smiles slightly, and our eyes lock. We don’t need words, we understand each other in a way most people wouldn’t understand. I lean down, kissing him softly, before turning and following Matilda into the kitchen. “You two are gag worthy,” she says, throwing an arm around my shoulder. “So are you and Calvin. By the way, where is his royal beauty?” She shoves me playfully. “Working.” “Aw, poor thing.” “I know,” she sighs, turning to me. “But you and Roman ... that looks like it’s going well.” I look out the door at Roman who is laughing with the guys. “Yeah, it is going well. I think we finally found our way back to each other, this time to stay.” Her face softens. “He’s a good person, isn’t he?” I smile and nod. “Yeah, he’s the best kind.” “You two had a really painful start, but I honestly think you’re better off for it.” I agree. “Yeah, I think so too. If his ex wasn’t in the picture, I honestly don’t think we would have ever gotten as close as we did. We were meant to meet each other, we were meant to be friends, and now we’re meant to be together. I didn’t realise how much so until now.” “So really, you’re grateful to her.” I squeeze Matilda’s hand when she takes mine, and we both watch Roman. Yeah, I’m grateful to her all right. She put us both through a world of hurt, but without her, we wouldn’t have learned our lessons and been where we are now. We wouldn’t have battled through it together. We wouldn’t have gotten through stronger and better. She made us stronger, by being a selfish, horrible person, she brought us together. “Yeah, I am. So many times I wondered if it was worth it, but it is more than worth it. It sucked when she captured his heart again after everything she’d put him through, especially when she didn’t want it. She leapt back in because she saw he was finally moving on, her attention from him was dwindling, she had screwed up everything else in her life, and she realised she might actually have to face the storm she created on her own. It was all well and good when it was working for her, but when it wasn’t, she panicked. So, she clung on. She clung on because she’s self-centred. She clung on for her own selfish reasons. She clung on but she didn’t really want him. She just didn’t want to lose the attention. She liked knowing there was someone out there fighting for her, even if she never intended on giving him an honest piece of herself. She broke him all over again.”

I smile at Roman and he turns, looking at me and smiling back. He looks fucking gorgeous. Perfect. Mine. “But in doing all of that, I swear, she made him a better person, a stronger person. Because now, now he’s smiling again. He’s finally smiling again.” And this time, it’s without her. I don’t know yet where Roman and I are going to end up, but I do know this. He changed my life, and that will have always been worth the fight. He will always be worth the fight.

THE END You will see more of Molly and Roman, and how their story unfolded in the next book in the Jokers Wrath MC - Jack and Baylee’s story is coming up next! All your favorites will be back!!!