Table of Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 1...
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Table of Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Epilogue
THE WAY DOWN
ALEXANDRIA HUNT
Copyright © 2017 The Way Down by Alexandria Hunt All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Never miss a thing! Sign up for my mailing list to stay informed of new releases.
CO NTENTS
Introduction Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Epilogue
Also by Alexandria Hunt
INTRODUCTION
BLURB Small town love, broken hearts and a woman looking for a way down, back to her roots and the man she should have chosen all those years ago. Abbey knew she should have left Tom the first time he hit her. Or the second time...or the third... But she didn't. She didn't leave until she gathered enough courage and fled with her two children back to her hometown. Right back into the arms of the man she should have married, the man who had changed from a gangly teenager to a stunning and sexy police officer. The man who would slowly help her heal and show her the way down, back to her roots, back to
love and back to the safety of his arms. Unless Tom has his way...if he can't have her, then nobody will.
***WARNING*** This is a romance with a happy ever after, but it’s packed with angst, drama, sensual sex, and swearing which means it’s best left for those 18+.
CHAPTER 1
S
he should have left the first time he hit her. She knew this now, but as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty. Looking at her children asleep on the seat next to her made her glad she didn't leave that first time Tom slammed his fist into her face, she never would have had them. Abbey hadn't been sure she wanted children back then, but she often thought her first accidental pregnancy might have been subconscious, an effort to tame her errant husband. It had worked, almost. Tom hadn't touched a drink for two months after Zach’s birth; he had stayed home and been the perfect doting husband and father. Then he fell off the wagon, hooked up with his girlfriend and came home drunk one night while Abbey had been nursing Zach. He’d raged against her that night as she rocked quietly in the nursery with Zach at her
breast. He finally passed out in a pool of his own vomit halfway down the hallway to their bedroom. She knew then that nothing would change him, but still she had stayed. She stayed after Sophie had been born, with her perfect blonde curls and chocolate brown eyes. Tom had accused her of cheating that time, so he moved into a hotel with some new girl he’d met at the PBR Finals in Vegas, a barrel racer with lean long legs and an icy stare. That little affair had lasted three months before he came crawling back declaring himself a changed man. Against her better judgment, she’d given him yet another shot. She’d given him another shot, and another, and another. A seemingly unending supply of second chances that he’d taken complete advantage of. Abbey had tucked in and decided to ride it out, stiff upper lip, stand by your man, country girls don’t cry and all that jazz. Until three months ago. Zach was now a big, strong, eight year old who was developing a temper like his Daddy’s. Abbey had spent years brushing it off as ‘boys will be boys’ or he’s just ‘going through a phase’. Not this time. Zach had been playing video games in the family room while Abbey prepared dinner, something meaty and rustic to keep Tom happy. Sophie was six and a bit of a loud mouth (like her
namesake, Tom’s mother, the rich bitch with an attitude that made country club wait staff run for the hills when they saw her custom Cadillac pull up out front). Sophie had been bugging Zach, typical little sister crap, when Abbey heard her scream and start sobbing. She’d wiped her hands and ran to them to assess the situation. Zach was standing over his little sister, she was curled on the thick carpet in front of him. His eyes had been on fire, his hand clenched into a fist and Sophie had her eyes squeezed shut with her hands defensively over her head. “What the hell happened here?” she had demanded of Zach. He had turned to her and answered in a slow and careful voice, “I hit her. Look what she made me do.” It was like hearing Tom’s voice from the mouth of her sweet, funny and bright little boy. “She didn’t make you do anything Zach, you made the choice to react,” she’d replied, using her months of Google searches on domestic violence to deal with him. “She pissed me off so she got what she deserved,” he’d replied in the same voice. “I’ll tell Dad when he gets home, he’ll get it. It’s a guy thing. You wouldn’t understand.” He had turned, sat back down, calmly picked up his game controller and continued to play. The contempt in his voice had made her blood run cold. That’s when
it’d hit home; her children were acting out the exact same scenario they had witnessed a hundred times. They were on the path to become her and Tom in their marriages in the future, and she was the only one who could stop it. “No need to tell Dad, let’s just all get along and everything will be ok,” she’d said in her bright, cheery, fake voice. She’d walked to Sophie and helped her up, she wasn’t injured, just upset. It still struck Abbey that her daughter was going to end up just like her some day. Cowering at the end of a boot, or a fist. Keeping her grin wide and plastic as she served dinner like a parody of a fifties housewife. Keeping her opinion to herself and her mouth closed, unless her husband was demanding a drunken three AM blowjob, trying to rouse her as she faked sleep and waited for him to pass out before he got his way. She had known then that it was the end. She never had the guts to leave and protect herself, but somewhere inside of her a momma bear was roaring with rage and making plans. It took three months of stashing money away, taking the cash Tom gave her for the gardeners and housekeeper and driver and keeping it in her coat pocket in the closet. Telling the staff that she would get the money to them, stringing them along until she started to see them getting pissed and wanting to ask Tom about it. Except they were all scared of
Tom too. She sold some jewelry on the sly, fed him beers and whiskey every night until he passed out drunk and she could go through his pockets for loose cash. In those three months she had squirreled away roughly six thousand dollars. She was damned proud of herself and purchased her very first vehicle for a thousand of it, the old Dodge Ram they were fleeing through the night in to escape him. The very same truck that she was pushing to over a hundred kilometers an hour in spite of the groans of protest from the engine. She had driven from Calgary to Goldfield in what seemed like the blink of an eye, leaving in the afternoon when she knew Tom would go on a bender with some rodeo buddies. He probably wouldn’t come home that night, so their absence wouldn’t be noted for a while. Ten hours later she was coming into her hometown in the middle of the night. The main street was deserted; even the Tim Horton's parking lot was almost empty. It was Thursday, and she was going to wake her father up and see him for the first time since she left ten years earlier. She had spoken to him on and off over the years, and sent him photos of the kids dutifully, but Tom had never liked her Dad, so Tom had made sure he wasn’t welcome in their fake perfect lives. She slowed down and felt like she had driven
back in time, to high school, the streets hadn’t changed. The kids were still sleeping, the lights from the dash lighting them up, making their faces seem so innocent and unscathed. Sophie was in the middle leaning on her big brother. He had his arm around her protectively, like a big brother should. She had told them they were going to see their grandpa Pete, whom they had never met. Both kids had laughed their heads off at the ratty truck, she laughed with them, not wanting to clue them in that this was something they’d have to get used to. Gone were the days of them living high on the hog off Tom’s family money. The new reality was that she was going to be a single mom in an economically depressed town. She passed through town, crossed the bridge over the Fraser River and headed out West, towards her childhood home. She knew that wouldn’t have changed in the years since her departure, her father was a creature of habit after all. About five miles out of town, halfway to their destination, she heard a clunk, then the truck shuddered and slowed down. “Come on, come on,” she begged it as she coasted to a stop. She was in a straight stretch of the wide gravel road, not a light was in sight. Just their luck, five miles from their destination, in the only uninhabited stretch of the way, the truck gave
out. She spent a few futile minutes trying to get it to turn over, but all it would do was whir, then click and give out. She even considered opening the hood herself, but she wouldn’t know what to look for. She had never paid much attention to anything like that when she lived with her dad; she was Tom crazy from the time she was old enough to drive. She grabbed her phone to Google truck repairs, but she was out of range. There wasn’t a single bar showing on the display. “Fuck,” she said under her breath. The kids stirred beside her and she shut the lights off to think. She didn’t want to end their flight by waking them up to walk the rest of the way. It was pretty chilly up here on the way to the ranch, the snow was probably only a month or so away. She sat like that in the dark for a few moments before the tears came. They squeezed out, big, fat, hot tears of failure. She tried her best to make no noise beyond the sniffling and nose blowing that came with all her crying jags. The kids slept, unaware that their mother was having a mini breakdown on the seat beside them. Years with Tom had taught her the fine art of crying your heart out without making a single sound. She didn’t know how much time had gone by when she saw lights in the distance. She turned her hazards on to let whoever was driving know that they were here. She did her best to clean up her
face and got ready to beg for a ride, she prayed she knew them and they didn’t have bad intentions. As luck would have it, it was an RCMP cruiser; it pulled in front of the truck, its nose facing hers, and flashed the lights. A single officer was inside, she saw him call something in on his radio and they both got out at the same time. The lights from the police car backlit the scene, she could only see a silhouette until the imposing officer was half a foot from her, towering over her with a wall of solid muscle and tight uniform. She might be fleeing, and having a mini breakdown, but she could still appreciate the outline of a nice male body. She shivered in the cold air, looked up and heard, “Abbey Bolton? Holy shit! Abbey!” just before she was swept up in a pair of muscular arms and swung around like a child. She struggled, then hugged back, certain the officer must know her. He set her down, put his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down. He seemed familiar, but she couldn’t place him exactly. He took his hands off, held his arms out wide and smiled. “Come on, it hasn’t been that long.” It clicked suddenly and she recognized the face of her childhood best friend, David Edwards. He was not the skinny, lanky boy she remembered though. He had filled out, his body unrecognizable, but he still had the same gorgeous violet eyes.
‘Elizabeth Taylor eyes’ their seventh grade teacher had called them, much to his horror. He spent the rest of elementary and high school dodging the unfortunate nickname “Lizzie”, and had gravitated to the other outsiders like herself. The two of them had become fast friends, almost inseparable, until the summer before tenth grade when she had met Tom at the annual rodeo. Tom had taken over her life then, claiming her heart, body and mind. She and David maintained their friendship as long as Tom allowed it. She faked her way through to graduation until she could run away back to Calgary, to Tom’s controlling isolation. But good god, he was different. The scrawny boy had given way to a tall, well-muscled man. He oozed confidence and still had a killer smile. His teeth were white and bright and perfect, and most importantly, his eyes were still kind and generous. “David! I didn’t recognize you. You’ve really changed,” she said, fatigue and stress masking her true excitement. Once upon a time she would have jumped back into his arms for another hug, but years with Tom had given her an insecurity that was masked as snobbery to most who met her now. “You haven’t changed a bit, you look exactly the same as the last time I saw you,” he said approvingly. “How have you been? What are you doing here?” “I’ve been good, really good. And I’m here to
see Dad, well, if we can get there,” she answered. “That’s funny, I just saw him today at the Coop and he didn’t mention it,” he said. The Co-op was the local feed store, fuel station and gossip central for farm folk. “It’s a surprise, he doesn’t know,” she said with a small smile. “Well, let’s get you home,” he said with a knowing look in his eyes. She never could keep anything from him, and she was grateful that he didn’t pry. The truck was not repairable at that moment. David told her they’d leave it there, load their things in the police car and he’d take them the rest of the way. She woke the kids up, Zach first, and let David lead him to the car while she carried Sophie. They let Zach sit in the front and flick the lights on and off while she settled in the back with her daughter. The trip took a short few minutes and David chatted amicably with Zach as he drove. Zach had a million questions about what it was like to be in the RCMP, but David fielded each one with good humor and informative answers. She appreciated his kindness, keeping Zach calm and distracted. They pulled up the long driveway of her father’s ranch...her home. It appeared that nothing much had changed, as she’d suspected, except for the brand new pick up truck parked in front of the
modest two level farmhouse. As they came to a stop, her dad stepped out the front door looking sleepy and confused. He was a white undershirt and jeans he had obviously just pulled on. He looked old, older than she had anticipated. Her heart thumped in her chest, terrified that he’d take one look at them and send them on their way. David got out first and she heard her dad call out, “Why are you here David? A visit from the cops in the middle of the night is never a good thing, just get to the point and get there fast.” Same old Dad, she smiled and stepped out, still holding Sophie. “It’s good news tonight Pete, I swear,” David replied quickly. Abbey walked around him and added, “At least I hope it’s good news Dad, how are you?” Her dad rubbed his eyes and slowly the realization overtook him and his face split into a wide grin. “Abbey!” he exclaimed and came down the steps. He stood in front her and held his hands out to take Sophie from her. “This must be little Sophie, but she’s not so little now, is she?” he said and hugged Sophie close. Abbey though his eyes looked more watery than usual, but knew he wouldn’t cry. “Where’s Zachary?” “Hey Dad, Zach’s in the car. Hang on,” she said and turned and gestured to her son. He stepped out of the car looking unsure of the situation. David walked over and put his hand on Zach’s
shoulder. “This here is your grandpa Pete,” he told him. Zach smiled and walked towards them. Sophie woke up, looked at her grandpa and said, “Hi!” Abbey laughed at this, and was relieved that in spite of everything, her children were resilient. They got the kids settled into the guest bedroom, Abbey and David loaded all their belongings into her old bedroom next door and she sat on the bed exhausted. The walls of her room were still Pepto Bismal pink; that had been an effort to prove to Tom that she wasn’t too much of a tomboy for him. He liked his women to be girly, and at the time they met, Abbey had been more interested in riding dirt bikes and running cloverleaf patterns on her barrel horse than wearing dresses. “Wow, it’s so…pink,” David remarked as he brought the last box up from his police car. “I don’t remember it being this pink, you know. Then again, it’s been what, almost ten years since I saw the inside of this place?” “Yeah, about that. Maybe a little longer,” she smiled and suppressed a yawn. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day.” “You want to talk about it?” he asked, setting the box down on her night stand. “Not yet, I will, I promise, but not yet,” she assured him. “Right now I want to curl up on my single bed, under my crocheted pink bedspread,
and sleep until I can’t remember my name.” He reached out and touched her shoulder as a gesture of kindness, but he was standing, towering over her, and she flinched, jerked back away from his touch. Her eyes darted up to his and saw that knowing look back on his face. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said simply. “I’m here for you.” He turned to leave, pausing at the door to add, “I’m really glad you’re back.” He flashed his killer smile, she had to smile back, and he was gone.
CHAPTER 2
A
bbey walked back to the farmhouse with an ice cream bucket full of eggs. Her father had a million plastic buckets stashed around the place just for things like this. It wasn’t exactly the picture you have in your mind when somebody mentions something as wholesome and old fashioned as collecting fresh eggs direct from the coop. Her hair was tangled and messy, her eyes were swollen from crying all night and lack of sleep, and she had on an old pair of faded jeans with an oversize Mac jacket. She looked like a lumberjack crossed with a hobo, no Rebecca of Sunnybrook here. The kids weren’t up yet, her dad was already gone, disappeared into some field on his vast acreage to harvest crops or move cattle no doubt. She dug around the freezer and found a brown
paper wrapped pack of farm cured bacon, pulled it out to thaw and started peeling some potatoes for hash browns. She was craving a big, greasy breakfast. Something that would sit like a brick in her stomach and help her feel anchored to the earth, to this place. When she had been with Tom, her nerves prevented her from eating that often. She usually grabbed snatches of food throughout the day, he was obsessed with her not becoming a “fatass” so he watched her food intake like a hawk. At first, in the early days, she had been flattered that he’d been so protective of her health and attracted to her body as it was. Children, time and lack of exercise (he never wanted her in a gym, too many men around) had taken their toll on her body though, and of course she’d lost her young, supple curves. It offended her now, that he couldn’t embrace the changes and recognize that he contributed to most of them. It was just one bullet point on a long laundry list of things that were finally offending her, but at least this one she could fix with a gigantic breakfast. She also wanted to feed the kids. Food was a fix in her family growing up, and on some level it worked. She wanted them to appreciate the farm and see this as part of a big adventure. She peeled the brown paper wrapping off the frozen bacon, ran it under warm water long enough
to slice off some thick pieces and tossed them into the frying pan. She wrapped it back up and put it back in the freezer. She realized the package was labeled “Porky”, her dad still had a sense of humour and obviously this was a pig he had raised and butchered himself. Soon the smell of frying meat filled the kitchen and her stomach started to growl. She hadn’t really eaten a full meal in years, she could feel her mouth water as she watched it fry. After that, she tossed the potatoes into the bacon grease. She snatched a couple of hot pieces as she watched them cook, and then added eggs to the pan after they were done. The smells were heavenly and soon both kids were awake and demanding breakfast. They sat around the thick oak table, the one from her childhood and passed through so many generations of her family that along the way they lost count. She ate like a starving man, shoving food in her face, only pausing to sip the thick black coffee her father had left on the stove. She imagined a beam of light from heaven and a choir of angels as she ate, laughing at the image. Plain, simple food meaning so much more, a symbol of personal freedom and connection to her family. “What are you laughing at?” Zach asked, wiping bacon grease off his chin. “I am laughing because I think this is the best
meal I’ve ever had,” she said, smiling at him and his sister. “It’s good, but come on, you let us have two burgers last night at McDonald’s!” he exclaimed. “Now that was a good meal!” Tom had forbidden McDonalds, or any kind of fast food. The kids had looked like they were experiencing their own choir of angels moment last night when she let them order a second round. “Mom, we lost my Ariel,” Sophie interjected. “I love her, and I don’t know where she is now.” She had gotten her first Happy Meal toy last night, a princess Ariel figure, most likely left behind in the truck. “Don’t worry sweetie, I’m sure she’s safe and sound in the truck, we’ll get her soon,” she reassured her. After everything that had happened since yesterday, her toy was her big concern. Kids were amazing in their adaptability. “But what if somebody stole her?” Sophie whined and crumpled her face like she was going to cry. “Don’t be such a stupid little bitch!” Zach told her, his face twisted in a sneer as he struck his sister. Abbey felt like somebody punched her stomach. How could she have not seen how much he’d been learning from Tom? Had she really been so blind? “We don’t talk like that in this house young
man,” Abbey’s father said from behind her. “In fact, we don’t ever talk like that, ever, anywhere.” His voice was low and careful, but it was obvious that he meant business. The great thing about her Dad was that he could convey this without physical threat or exploding in anger. “My dad says a real man doesn’t put up with any shit,” Zach snapped back. “A real man doesn’t put up with shit, but he doesn’t do it with his fists or his words, he does it with his actions. A real man gets angry and uses that anger to be productive. Don’t hit your sister or call her names. Your words are as powerful as your fists, son, but they hurt her for longer. If you’re mad, go shovel some horse shit or fix some fence and talk about it when you cool off. “But she was being annoying, it made me mad,” Zach replied, the wind going out of his sails though. “I understand and that’s going to happen, but nothing can make you react. That’s all on you, and no real man should ever solve his problems with violence or release his anger at the end of his fists, you got that?” her dad insisted. Zach looked like he was going to protest, he opened his mouth, then shut it in an angry line. He looked at Abbey as though expecting her to back him up, realized she wasn’t going to, and said, “Okay, I’ll be more careful next time.” Sophie’s face had softened, she reached across
the table and patted her big brother’s hand. “It’s ok Zach, I know you didn’t mean it. And you’re right, I was being annoying,” she said and broke Abbey’s heart again. Even worse than angry Zach was Sophie learning from her how to please a boy and diffuse a potentially violent situation. “No, it’s not okay,” Abbey said. “Zach, you owe your sister an apology.” Her dad was filling his plate with food and came to join them at the table. Zach looked like he was going to defy her, shot a sideways glance to his grandfather and thought better of it. “I’m sorry Sophie, I won’t hurt you again,” he finally said to his little sister. Abbey smiled at him and he looked down, she couldn’t tell if it was out of shame or anger. “Good show, son. A true man knows when to step up and admit he’s made a mistake,” her father said with a smile. Zach looked up and saw that he was sincere and straightened in his seat, his face shining with pride at being called a man. Abbey caught her dad’s eye across the table and mouthed the words, “Thank you.” He waved it off and dug into his breakfast. She watched them eat, then picked up the dishes and did the washing up. The sun was shining on the bright green fields behind the house, she could see a few horses grazing and the trees in the distance. It was a good move, she had forgotten
how much she loved the land and how much this felt like home. She just worried that Tom would come for them once he realized she was gone, but she would prepare herself to deal with that when it happened.
THE TRUCK WAS STILL PARKED on the side of the road where they had left it the night before. Nobody had touched it, that was the great thing about living this far out in the country. People were mostly honest. Her dad got in and tried to get it started, it just whirred and clicked as it had the night before. Abbey almost felt relieved that there was something actually wrong with it, that she hadn’t just been flailing like a typical woman the night before. Her dad stepped out and opened the hood, leaning in and muttered under his breath a few times. “Any idea what’s wrong?” she asked him. “Nope, not a damn clue. How long have you had this thing?” he said, standing up straight and sliding his cowboy hat back on his forehead. “Oh, I don’t know, about twenty four hours now,” she laughed and looked at her watch.
“Good hell, you’re lucky you made it this far. Your guardian angel was riding with you last night,” he said and slammed the hood shut. “Take me home and I’ll bring the tractor down to drag it home. We’ll ask David to pop in at some point and see if it’s worth fixing.” “Sounds like a plan,” she replied, thinking two things. The first was, where the hell had her guardian angel been for the last few years while Tom beat the crap out of her, and the second...she was going to get to see David again.
THEY SPENT the afternoon in the barn, her dad brought in a couple of well broke horses and they let the kids get to know them. Both of them had been around horses since birth, but Tom had never wanted to get them their own. He stopped letting Abbey ride years ago, she thought at times he was jealous of anyone learning something he was supposed to be an expert at. Or he was fucking one of the girls who worked at the ranch he kept his stock at, either way he never wanted his family out there. They were naturals with the horses though, she could see her dad swell with pride as he watched his grandkids crawl up and down the horses,
brushing them and tacking them up. “This one’s mine,” Sophie declared at one point, her hand on a little Appaloosa mare, a flashy thing, all black with a spotted blanket. Zach looked at both horses, the other a bay Quarter Horse with a white blaze running down the center of its face. “Ok, I’ll take this big guy then,” he said with a smile. Abbey hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until she exhaled. She had been waiting for him to throw a Tom inspired tantrum and was pleased when he didn’t. “Hold on here,” her dad interjected. “Don’t I get a say? These are my horses after all.” Both kids froze at his booming voice, they looked at him with wide eyes. Sophie, ever the peacemaker like her mother, blinked and said, “I’m sorry grandpa.” Her father looked stricken, he had been joking and never expected his grandkids to react with such fear. He looked at Abbey and put two and two together, she knew he had always suspected Tom was a bastard, but until now, he’d never realized the extent of it. He squatted down and looked at both of them. “Hey, I was joking,” he said, his voice gentle now. “Of course you can have them, you’re my only grandkids, it’s my job to spoil you.” He stood up and looked at Abbey, his eyebrows up in inquiry. She knew she’d have to spill it to him at some
point, but not yet. “So who wants to go for a ride?” she asked loudly to deflect his obvious curiosity. “I do! I do!” they both yelled and jumped up and down. There’s nothing like healing your heart on the back of a horse. Anyone who’s ever been on one knows this as surely as they know day will follow the night. As surely as they know thunder will follow a flash of lightning and the snow will melt to reveal fresh green grass in the spring. The moment Abbey lifted herself up onto the back of her Dad’s old saddle horse, she was home again. Like she had never left, never been ruined by Tom and she was sixteen years old, racing through the open fields, laughing as David tried to keep up on his dirt bike. The thought of Tom coming into her life and destroying this perfect image made her stomach clench with anger. She wished she had stood up to him years ago and gotten back into riding just to feel this free again. Abbey decided to let that go for the moment so she could fully enjoy this ride. The sun on their backs, the earthy familiar scent of the horses, the sounds of the tack creaking as they moved through the tall grass, it all made for one perfect slice of life. “Mommy, look!” Sophie called to her. Abbey
turned in the saddle and followed her daughter’s finger to a small group of deer browsing in the field. “Can we ride over there?” “Sure,” her Dad answered for her and the four of them turned their horses to ride carefully towards the graceful animals. The deer heard them coming and all six of them popped their heads up at the same time. It was almost comical if they hadn’t been so elegant in their surprise. “How close can we get?” Zach whispered. “Pretty darn close, I bet,” her Dad replied. “Go low in the saddle, like this,” he continued and leaned forward over his horse’s neck. “That way they won’t know that we’re on the horses.” They all copied him and made it within about ten feet before the deer alerted to the fact that there were humans present. Five identical heads rose up at the same time, ears pricked and watching them edge closer. They pulled up and stayed that far away, enjoying the silence of the frozen moment, the connection with something pure and beautiful. Sophie sneezed and broke the moment. It sounded like a gunshot and echoed off the trees beyond the field. The deer whirled in perfect unison and bounded away. They cleared the barbed wire fence edging the hayfield and were gone out of sight in seconds. “You stupid—“ Zach started to say, looked at
his grandpa and stopped short. “I’m sorry,” Sophie said and looked on the verge of tears. “It’s ok,” Zach replied, “I didn’t mean to call you stupid. I just wanted them to stay.” “We’ll see plenty of deer around here,” her father assured the children, “in fact I bet you get sick of seeing them by the end of the month.” “We’ll be home by then,” Zach said with all the authority his years gave him. Sometimes Abbey longed for the time she was full of the certainty of childhood, before the world knocked her down and showed her just how uncertain life could be. Abbey glanced at her dad and they exchanged a look. She didn’t know how to break it to the kids that they would be staying a lot longer than the end of the month. They would be staying forever if it were up to her. Her dad saw her flailing and said, “Who wants ice cream when we get back to the house? Last one has to close the gate!” The kids moved into action, Abbey was surprised again at how quickly they’d taken to horseback riding. Her father held back slightly and let the kids take the lead, Abbey stayed behind him and watched her children laugh and kick their horses into a jarring trot to win their ice cream. Why couldn’t life with Tom have been this carefree? “They’re good riders,” her dad said as if
reading her thoughts, “did they get a chance to ride that often?” “Not at all,” she replied and swelled with pride, “they’re both naturals. We didn’t get to the ranch at all, that was Tom’s thing, you know?” He shot her a sidelong look and rode ahead, but turned back and retorted, “No, in fact I do not know.” He kicked his horse and caught up with the kids, leaving Abbey red faced and conscious of the fact that her father had been right all along. She should have never left with Tom. She made it through though, so there was that. She straightened her back in the saddle and moved her horse ahead, still hanging behind. She didn’t like the feelings of shame that rose up when she thought of her father’s judgement. She still wasn’t sure if he was mad at her for leaving, or mad at himself for not coming to get her. There was a weird part of her psyche that wondered if he thought she deserved Tom’s treatment, the same way she suspected that she had deserved every last minute of it. She jumped off her horse, pleased at how natural it still felt to be around them. She latched the gate, sighed and lead the old mare back to the barn. Her dad was joking around with the kids and showing them the fine art of horse and tack care, his carefree manner reminding her of the dad he
had once been. She knew then that this was where she wanted to be, in spite of everything that had happened to her she could come home again.
CHAPTER 3
D
avid’s deep laughter echoed over the yard and through the window where Abbey was doing the washing up from dinner. She hadn’t heard him come in, but she wasn’t surprised. He’d been there almost every night for the weeks since she’d been back. At first it had been about the truck, to tinker with it and help her dad get it running again. Then it had been some lame excuse about a bear being sighted in the area, so she and the kids should be careful. His official duty he’d called it, but she knew he hadn’t gone to any of the neighbors. Now he didn’t bother with an excuse, she knew he was here because of her. Her stomach jumped, a little fluttery flip flop, the kind you get when a guy you like shows up to
see you. Simple and natural. But she shouldn’t want this, she couldn’t want this. Tom hadn’t tried contacting them even though he must know where she was. He hadn’t bothered to make sure she and the kids were ok, and he hadn’t bothered to give a shit about them being gone. She supposed it was more convenient for him, he could bring anyone home and not worry about her narrow, pinched look of disapproval when he tried to hide it. It hurt though, on some deep level it fucking hurt. She didn’t know what she had expected when she left, and she certainly would never go back, but she didn’t think he’d give it all up without a fight. She didn’t think she was worth so little in his life that he did nothing. He’d reacted more when their little cattle dog had run off, putting flyers up and calling the SPCA. She wondered if he called anyone at all when he discovered his family was missing. She also didn’t think she deserved somebody like David. He had grown into a stunningly handsome man, completely unexpected and different than the gangly boy she had once almost been sweet on in grade nine…until Tom of course. But despite David’s amazing body, his cool confidence and his easy laughter…it was his kindness she was most attracted to. The way he
was with the kids, the gentle way he listened when she talked, and the soft hands he had when handling the horses. Tom wasn’t gentle at all and ruined many a mount by sawing away on their mouths, demanding they obey rather than ask. She heard the front screen door slam and drained the sink. She wiped her wet hands on her mother’s apron and hung it on the hook she’d seen her mom use a million times growing up. She paused and rubbed the hook, a little ritual she’d had since she was thirteen years old and a drunk driver had taken her mother’s life one bitterly cold December evening. She and her dad had barely survived, rattling around in their big drafty house, the weight of their shared anguish silencing them. Their mutual longing, for wife, for mother, had built a wall between them then and she hadn’t dared breech it in the years since. She thought she might have died had it not been for David’s friendship through it all. She might have gone out into the night and curled up in a snow bank and let herself follow her mother to the other side. But David had saved her back then, as she wanted him to save her now but knew she couldn’t risk it. She couldn’t bring him into her crazy, broken world. “I brought Dilly Bars,” David announced as he
entered the kitchen, “they’re still your favourite, aren’t they?” The air moved when he walked, breezed behind him on a wave of musk and soap, as if reluctant to leave him. She could understand why, he was delicious. She pursed her mouth instead, gave him a disapproving grunt and said, “It’s too late, I don’t want the kids all hyped up on sugar right before bed.” They still were her favourite and she was practically drooling thinking about the chocolate covered ice cream. She hadn’t had one for years. “I’ll take them for a little hike, that’ll wear them out,” David replied and smiled. That killer smile, it was so hard to say no to that smile. She couldn’t. “Fine,” she said, “but they really should be in bed before nine. They’re starting school tomorrow.” “Mom said yes!” Zach yelled from behind David. She hadn’t seen him there, the little sneak. She had to suppress a smile when she heard Sophie’s excited squeal from the living room. “You’re the best, thanks mom!” “You really are,” David said and winked as he tore open the box of ice cream bars. “You don’t know me that well then,” she replied and instantly regretted how dry and cracked her voice sounded. She missed the girl she used to be, easy to laugh with a voice rich and full of
wonder. “I know you better than you think,” he replied and stared at her. His face was unreadable, perhaps the slightest hint of a challenge there, but Abbey turned away. “I’d better get some wet napkins, the kids will make a mess,” she said and turned back to the sink. She heard him leave and held onto the counter for a moment to steady herself. The look in his eyes had been more than a challenge, it had been a promise. Of what, she wasn’t certain, but the effect it had on her had been instantaneous. Her heart was racing and her head felt light with anticipation. Stop this, she thought, he doesn’t deserve to be dragged through your shitty dysfunction. And you don’t deserve a man like him, a sibilant voice whispered, snaking its way through her subconscious. It sounded like Tom, and there was a deep part of Abbey that believed it. She didn’t believe a man like David, who had kind eyes and a beautiful smile, would ever truly love her once he knew her. She deserved the boots to the stomach and the punches where the bruises could be hidden. She deserved Tom’s hair trigger anger and quick temper; she deserved to sweat in thirty-degree heat because she wore long sleeves to hide how much she deserved his blows. She got a few damp paper towels, ignored the
voice and promised herself to at least be happier, but alone. She would forever be alone.
DAVID ’ S FEET dragged through the dry grass behind her and the kids ran ahead, laughing and jumping through the field like the deer they’d seen several times now. She could feel his eyes watching her as she picked her way through the tall stalks, the field her dad had left uncut since her mom’s death. Years and years now, and yet each spring he said the hay grew stubbornly, defiantly. Every other field needed careful tending, seeding and fertilizing, but not this one. Not her mom’s field. She didn’t know why he left it uncut, she always assumed he was a little nuts, but now that she had grown up she wondered if they had shared a special time here. She shuddered to think of it, nobody wanted to think of her parents as young and sexual, but it brought her comfort to know that her dad had such love in his life. “Do you think my dad will ever move on?” she asked back to David. “I doubt it,” he replied, “there was a woman hanging around here a couple years back, and your dad became the master at telling her no. It was
hilarious and tragic, although I suppose all tragedy originally had some hint of humour.” She stopped in her tracks, turned and looked at him. “Why I do declare Lizzie,” she said with a grin and mock southern accent, “grade ten English class stuck with you after all. Must have been all my tutoring.” He grinned back, ran his hand through his thick hair and said, “Well, I reckon I didn’t actually need that tutoring. You know I was doing university level distance courses from grade nine on, don’t you?” She did not, and she was shocked. She’d always thought of him as a mediocre student. His report cards were always excellent, but she had taken credit for it, for rescuing him from his ignorance and bringing the gift of learning to him. Like some kind of early missionary, uplifting a tribe from the dark ages. “Get out,” she replied, “no way. I saved your ass. Why did you come over so much if you knew it all already?” His grin went a little lopsided and her heart jumped before he even answered. She knew why, on some level in some memory, she knew why he made the trek to her place through rain and snow, to sit at her kitchen table and go over the day’s homework. David had been sweet on her back then, starting in seventh grade, the year his family moved here
from Saskatchewan. She supposed she’d liked him too, but hadn’t had time to develop anything before Tom arrived on scene and crashed into her world. After her mother’s death, town had been so suffocating that Tom had seemed like a way out, a way to escape the dreary, dark house with her and her dad choking on their grief year after year. “Well,” he said and sighed, “I reckon I wanted to be near you.” He stared at her with those gorgeous violet eyes in his gorgeous grown up face. He stared and she could feel the heat behind his words, the carefully contained passion that she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. “That’s pretty silly,” she said and laughed light heartedly, “we were just friends.” She turned around again and kept walking. Her heart raced but her subconscious whispered in Tom’s voice that he was probably laughing at her, that he had fooled her because, as Tom always said, she wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box. Looking at the things he’d done the entire marriage that she’d never caught onto. Not really. She’d known what he was up to but never admitted it to herself or anyone else. “Hey you two,” David yelled from behind her, “don’t go too far ahead, there’s a bear in the area remember. He’s trying to fatten up for winter and he’d love nothing more than a couple of tasty kids.”
Abbey glanced back and smiled. He was very protective, it warmed her heart to see him care about her kids. Tom’s kids. They probably should have been David’s, if things had gone the right way back then. Zach and Sophie laughed at David as he pretended to be a bear and chased them for a few steps. Abbey loved hearing their giggles, it seemed in the time they’d been there a weight had been lifted from all of them. David came back to walk beside her, their hands accidently on purpose brushing up against each other as they made their way towards a small copse of trees. They settled under a tall Cottonwood and watched Zach and Sophie kick an old soccer ball around. Abbey finally flopped down in the long grass beside David and let him stand guard. It felt nice to have another responsible adult around, even if he did funny things to her stomach and made her heart race. She needed to focus on getting over Tom and helping the kids, not acting like some lovesick teen. “I’ll be gone for a few days,” he announced as she half dozed in the dimming light. “Okay,” she replied, not wanting to ask for more information…not wanting to make him think he owed her more information. She needed to treat him like a friend, and friends didn’t pry into each
other’s personal lives. “I’m helping sort cows out at Marta’s place. She owns a cattle ranch out Sunset Mountain way. She’s got nobody else, so somehow I ended up being her part time cowhand,” he told her, offering more information than she cared for. Who the hell is Marta, she thought but forced herself to sound uninterested when she replied, “Oh yeah, sounds like fun.” She didn’t open her eyes, she didn’t want him to see how jealous she felt right now. Marta was such an exotic name. She didn’t want to think of the dark haired beauty he’d be spending his days with. “It’s pretty far out, and long days, so I’ll stay out there,” he continued, oblivious to her growing anger. “She’s a mean cook though, so it’s not all bad,” he added with a laugh. “That’s awesome, good for you,” Abbey replied and chewed on the stem of a piece of hay. She knew she didn’t have the right to be jealous, and she didn’t know where this fire was coming from. Tom fucked around constantly and beyond the public humiliation, she’d barely thought about it twice. Even the first time she’d found out, she had been more upset at being lied to than the thought of him inside of another woman. Right now her jealousy felt red-hot, she didn’t want David to go to another woman even though she couldn’t give him
what he needed. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked and she felt him lean over her to gauge her reaction. She opened her eyes, sat up and said, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” She stood abruptly, brushed off her jeans and added, “It’s getting late and that bear might be around. We should head back.” He stood beside her, reminding her of how tall he was, how lean and well muscled he was, and how much he wasn’t hers. You don’t deserve him, that damn voice whispered again and continued snaking through her head all the way back to the house and kept her quiet until his lights cut the darkness as he left their place. She stood by the window and watched him until she couldn’t see them any longer. She might have lingered a few moments longer, hoping against the odds to see them turn back. She turned to go to bed and caught her dad watching her. She caught a weight of sorrow in his eyes, and she wondered if he was missing her mom after seeing her mooning over David like that. She continued up the stairs and made a tiny wish that she would eventually experience even one tenth of the love her parents had between them. If only she wasn’t such a disaster that drove David towards another woman, she might have a chance.
She fell into bed with thoughts of an exotic beauty with a cattle ranch and Tom’s voice whispering that only a woman like Marta deserved a man like David.
ZACH ’ S first day of school was a little nerve wracking, but mostly for Abbey. Zach seemed excited by the prospect of making new friends, and didn’t even blink when she dropped him off in their old beat up truck. She had lain awake the night before worrying that he wouldn’t want to be seen as poor, but luckily most of the parents were in modest vehicles. Hers did not stand out in the least. She and Sophie walked him to the classroom, but about ten feet away he dashed off as if embarrassed to be seen with his family. She sighed and supposed it was simply the age. “Don’t worry, he’ll be just fine,” a woman said next to her. “I know that, he’s always fine,” Abbey replied, “I guess I was hoping for a little more of a good bye.” “Is he going into third grade?” the woman asked. “Yes, he is,” Abbey said, “even though it feels like yesterday he was my little cuddler and now he
wants nothing to do with me.” “It’s the age,” the woman laughed, “have you met Mrs. Barden? She’s really fantastic with the boys. Keeps them on their toes and pays attention to any who seem to be struggling. My name’s Julia by the way. I’m Logan’s mom. He’s in the same class.” “Abbey, and that’s Zach,” she replied, “and this is Sophie. We’re taking her to grade one.” Sophie gave a shy wave from Abbey’s side. “Did you just transfer in?” Julia asked and they turned to walk back down the hall towards Sophie’s classroom. Abbey remembered going here back in the day, she could probably find her class photo on the walls if she tried. She didn’t remember it being so cramped or smelling of mildew. It was an old building though, and the only one accepting new students. “We did, from Calgary,” Abbey replied, “moved just a few weeks ago.” “What brought you to our little town?” “I grew up here, got tired of the big city…you know the drill,” Abbey said and grinned, hoping she’d end this line of questioning. “Did your hubby get a job at the mill?” Their town’s main industry was tied up in wood products, either logs or pulp. It was a good guess, coming back to town because of a job in one of the several mills.
“No, he stayed in Calgary,” Abbey bit the bullet and added, “I left him.” “Oh god, I’m sorry,” Julia said and the sympathy in her voice shattered the illusion that Abbey might be normal. Abbey cringed inwardly at the reaction, being a single mother wasn’t the worse thing that could happen after all. Being dead might just trump singledom. “It’s okay,” Abbey said and smiled as she edged towards the Sophie’s classroom, “it’s for the best really. Thanks for the info though, I’m sure I’ll see you after school.” She darted inside the class, dragging Sophie with her. She chatted with Sophie’s teacher and Sophie found her seat. She paused at the doorway and smiled, Sophie was already chatting it up with two little girls. Out of her two children, she worried about Sophie less than Zach. She left the school and was almost in tears when she got back to the big, green beast she was the proud owner of. She felt a flash of shame for such a shitty vehicle, for being single, for leaving her husband. She felt so alone. She got in, started the old truck and straightened her back as she drove to her Dad’s. She decided to spend an indulgent day lounging in the yard on the old swing her Dad had hung years and years ago. She read a book and enjoyed the sunshine and silence of the farm. It was nice to be
home again. And husband or no husband, it was a good day.
AFTER SCHOOL she stayed in the truck to avoid Julia and waited for Zach and Sophie to find her in the parking lot. She did see Julia, who gave her a friendly wave as she walked by, but Abbey wasn’t quite ready to talk to the other woman yet. “So how was it?” she asked the moment the kids climbed in. He shrugged out of his backpack and dragged the seatbelt across him. “It was awesome!” he yelled and launched into a lengthy description of every single boy he’d made friends with that day. Sophie chattered in her other ear about the friends she’d made, and both kids seemed completely happy with their new school. Abbey smiled and listened as she drove, pleased that they were adjusting to their new lives and obviously making new friends. It warmed her heart to know they would do just fine in spite of the fact that their father was so far away. She made a mental note to email the teacher later to check up on Zach though, just to make sure he was fully truthful. “I can’t wait to tell David about the fort we
built at lunch,” Zach said after his listing off his new best friends. “He’ll be gone for a couple of days,” she told him and ignored the lurch her heart gave. Gone with the exotic Marta, she thought and stared straight ahead, hands on the wheel. “When’s Dad coming to see us?” Zach asked and Abbey glanced at him. He was making an effort to appear casual about it, but was chewing on the skin on his finger. This was a sure sign of stress. “I’m not sure, sweetie,” Abbey replied, her voice just a little too bright. “Let’s see if Grandpa has the horses saddled yet,” she added as they pulled into the long driveway up to the farmhouse. Zach took the change in direction seemingly without a second thought. Abbey, however, also wondered why the fuck her ex hadn’t called them yet. His radio silence made her nervous, she was certain he would pop up somewhere at the worst time, and remained mentally prepared. The problem with being constantly vigilant was that she felt exhausted all the time, just waiting for him. She walked to the barn behind Zach and Sophie and smiled at the kids’ easy laughter. If only she could shed their old life as easily as they appeared to. It wasn’t that easy though, not knowing when your violent ex was going to spring into action. And she knew he would spring at some point. Her deeper thoughts flitted to David, and how he
would probably know how to protect them. She shook it off and focused on what the kids were saying. The thought lingered though, and knowing she wouldn’t see him today left her with a sliver of sadness. The was replaced by a stab of jealousy when she imaged him and Marta right now, riding together, working together, eating together…and possibly sleeping together. She suppressed her jealous snit and took a deep breath. One day at a time, she thought, we’ll all make it through this, one day at a time.
CHAPTER 4
T
he first week of school went remarkably well. Abbey ran into a few of the mothers on Wednesday and turned down an invitation to coffee. She just couldn’t stomach the thought of chit chatting, making small talk and having to explain the awkward situation she found herself in. She never imagined she’d be so ashamed of being a single mother, but she felt like she had failed the kids somehow. On Friday she picked the kids up and was asked to meet with Zach’s teacher, Mrs. Barden. “Why don’t you and Sophie go play on the swings?” she suggested and they happily ran outside. “Please, have a seat,” Mrs. Barden told her. Abbey looked around but only say tiny children sized chairs. She folded herself into one and felt
ridiculous, staring up at the teacher’s desk. It was a very uncomfortable position to be in. “Is there something wrong?” she asked the teacher, nervous about being called in. “Not necessarily, I like to meet with all the parents, especially of my new students,” Mrs. Barden replied. “How’s Zach doing?” “He’s doing great overall, but there have been a couple incidents.” “What do you mean?” “He has trouble keeping calm at times, have you noticed this at home?” “He does have a temper, yes,” Abbey admitted. She felt ashamed again that she hadn’t noticed it sooner, hadn’t left Tom before his poison leached into her little boy. “He has gotten into two fights this week, and we do understand that it is a difficult time transitioning into the classroom, he does need to learn to control himself.” “Oh, totally. I understand. I will talk to him.” “Can you have his father do it perhaps? He seems to respond to male authority.” “Oh,” Abbey stuttered, “his father isn’t with us. We left. I mean, I left him.” Mrs. Barden nodded as if she knew what Abbey meant, as if she caught on that the father was a violent prick, and the apple didn’t fall far from the
tree. Abbey felt a flare of defensiveness for her little boy. “He’s not a bad kid though,” she stated, “he’s having a rough time right now, but overall he’s really kind and sweet. I’ll have my father talk to him.” “I see that, he does have his sweet moments,” the teacher agreed, “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. There’s been a lot of change in his life and it will take some adjustment.” Abbey stood up and said, “Thank you for letting me know, I will do my best with him.” “That’s all we ask for,” Mrs. Barden replied and smiled. “It’s been great meeting you, and please contact me any time you have questions or concerns.” Abbey fled the classroom, her cheeks hot and red. She wanted to cry but couldn’t in front of the kids. She decided to take them into town for a treat instead, maybe out to the Co-op for one of their famous milkshakes. They have that machine the kids have gotten addicted to. “Hey guys, time to go,” Abbey called to them across the playground. She breathed a sigh of relief when they both jumped off the swings and ran towards her. Any day she didn’t have to wrestle with the kids was a good day. They climbed into the truck and she started to drive towards town.
“Where are we going?” Zach asked suspiciously. “We’re going to the Co-op,” Abby grinned and braced herself for the reaction. “Milkshakes!” Sophie screamed and Zach joined in. They chanted, “Milkshakes” again and again until Abbey was laughing and being driven crazy at the same time. Such was life with kids. Each moment threatened your sanity and uplifted you higher than you ever imagined you could go. She pulled into the big parking lot in front of the store and chuckled to herself at how well the old truck fit in. She felt like she was in stealth mode, intercepting the farming community without their knowledge. She led the kids to the milkshake machine, got it set up and turned to browse the aisles, looking at the odds and ends and wondering if she’d ever have enough money for something as frivolous as a bejeweled brow band for a horse’s bridle. She was checking out the advances in horse shampoo since she’d last owned one, when she stopped and tilted her head. She thought she heard David’s voice. She set the Mane and Tail down on the shelf and edged herself to the end of the aisle so she could get a clear view of the counter. And there he was, flirting and being utterly
deliciously gorgeous with the girls working behind the register. “And we’ll need two more bags of that cowcalf mineral,” he told the red head with a low, lazy voice. “Oh, don’t want to forget the minerals,” the girls said, making it sound suggestive. Abbey narrowed her eyes and watched him with them, paying for the merchandise he bought and being a little too calm and collected with the workers for Abbey’s liking. She hated the narrow pinch of jealousy that was gripping her insides, so she decided to go into full stealth mode and creep back down the aisle to avoid him all together. She heard him say the name Marta and laugh, and her rage threatened to overflow so she closed her eyes, took a couple deep calming breaths and exhaled. She stayed like that for a moment or two until her jealousy was squashed deep down and she could handle herself in public. “You having a nap back here?” David’s voice pierced her little shell of focus. Her eyes snapped open and Abbey said, “Oh, David. I didn’t know you were here.” “Sure you didn’t,” he smiled, that smug knowing grin of his that infuriated her and made her laugh. “We’re here picking up a few things for Marta. We made it through the worst of the
branding and sorting so I’m gonna drive her home and come back to town in a couple hours.” “Oh Marta, I forgot that’s where you were,” Abbey replied coolly. “Are you picking up something down this aisle?” “No, Zach told me where you were,” he chuckled. “Listen Abbey, you don’t need to run away in public, you know. I don’t mind being seen with you.” Abbey squirmed and looked past him. “It’s not that, I just don’t want to get in the way of you… you know, any relationships or anything you might have.” He laughed then, his smile wide and his eyes full of amusement. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he said. “There’s nothing going on around here that you can’t see. It’s not like I come to the Co-op to pick up girls.” “Where’s Marta?” Abbey asked, looked up at him, daring herself to look into his gorgeous violet eyes and challenged him to an answer. “She’s in the truck,” he replied, confusion flickering across his features, and then sudden realization lighting him up as if from within. “You need to come meet her. She will love you.” “I don’t, I mean, is that a good idea?” Abbey asked. “It’s a perfect idea,” David replied. “Let’s get the kids rounded up and I’ll walk you out. We
might be parked near each other.” “I didn’t see your truck,” Abbey replied and followed him to the front where Sophie and Zach were standing with their shakes. “I’ll get these too,” David told the girl behind the counter. “And I’m driving Marta’s truck, she feels it’s only fair to use her fuel.” Abbey wandered over to the bulletin board announcing tractors for sale, farmers markets, fresh farm produce and livestock. And a job. Abbey read the notice, they were looking for another front desk person here at the Co-op. She took a copy of the listing and folded it up to put it in her pocket. She hadn’t even realized she’d been secretive about it until after she turned around and caught the red head staring at her. She was so used to hiding everything from Tom that it was second nature to sneak around. The girl glared at Abbey and rang up David’s purchases. He paid, got his receipt so he could pick up his order at the loading doors, and the four of them walked outside. “Thanks for the milkshake,” Zach said to David, “you’re the best. And I have to tell you all about my week! This is the most awesome school ever!” David smiled over Zach’s head at Abbey. She nodded and they shared a moment, her fear that
Zach wouldn’t find friends was gone now that he’d made it a week. She could relax on that front at least. “And how did you like it, Miss Soph?” David asked Sophie. “It was amazing,” Sophie replied with an excited grin. “You need to come to my sports day next week. I can run so fast!” “I will for sure,” David told her and smiled at Abbey. She couldn’t quite figure out why he was so smug, but he was laughing about something. Tom’s voice whispered in the back of her mind that he was laughing at her, but for the first time she didn’t quite believe it. She could almost feel it pouting in the background at her refusal to listen. “Marta,” David called as the approached a bright red Dodge Ram. It was older but in immaculate condition. “I want you to meet some friends.” The passenger window rolled down completely and Abbey almost started laughing in relief. Marta was a beautiful woman with silken hair and bright blue eyes. And she had to be at least seventy years old. “This must be Abbey,” Marta said and looked down at the kids. “And this is Zach and Sophie. David has been talking about you nonstop. Thank you for lending him to me during branding season.” “Oh I didn’t lend him,” Abbey replied and
tucked her relief away. She shouldn’t have ever let herself get that jealous in the first place. She needed to keep David at arm’s length, she couldn’t risk him expecting anything from her. Marta gave her a knowing smile and let Abbey’s comment slip. They chatted for a few moments, and Marta insisted David walk Abbey and the kids back to their truck. They got the kids settled and he walked around to her side, his killer smile dazzling her. “I’m coming over when I get back into town,” he said and stood close to her, looking down. Too close. She could smell him again and god, he smelled so good. “I missed you, Abbey. Let’s go to a movie or something tonight.” “We’ll see,” she said brightly, her smile strained as she fought the urges welling up inside. The forefront of them was the urge to kiss David. To feel his lips on hers and taste his mouth against her lips. “Well, I need to get home and start dinner. And maybe write up my resume.” “You’re looking for work?” he asked, not moving away. “Maybe here, they’re hiring,” she replied, nodding towards the Co-op “I could work while the kids are in school. It will be good for me to keep busy and earn a little money.” He glanced at the store, frowned and said, “I don’t think they pay that well. And the owner is
real grabby. I don’t think it would be a good place for you.” Abbey railed against that, her back stiffened and she glared up at David. “Well I don’t think that’s really your call, is it? Now excuse me, I need to go.” She reached out and yanked the door shut as he stepped back. She drove away and couldn’t help but take a look in the rear-view mirror and felt a flare of satisfaction that he was watching her truck as she pulled away.
CHAPTER 5
T
rue to his word, David pulled down the driveway a little before dinner. Abbey couldn’t help herself, she smiled knowing he was coming to see her. She smoothed her hair flat, her tangled dark curls were always hard to tame, and pulled her lower lip through her teeth a couple times to moisten and redden it. She was being foolish, she knew it, but she was too giddy to care much just then. “Anybody home?” David called from the front door. “David!” the kids yelled and came tumbling down the stairs from their rooms where they’d been doing some reading before dinner. He heard them talking to them a little before they went back up. “I’m in here,” she said, opening the oven to pull
the roast chicken out. It looked perfect and smelled amazing. She couldn’t believe she’d gone so long with Tom not enjoying the food she’d prepared. Everything was so different now and she couldn’t wait to tuck into this meal. She heard his footsteps in the doorway and turned, smiling at him with her chicken in hand. She felt weirdly proud of it for some reason. “Looks incredible,” he said with a lazy grin, “am I invited?” “Of course, I just need to cut it up.” “I can do that if you want to get the rest of the dinner together.” She set the roasting pan on the countertop and said, “Perfect.” He made quick work of the bird and she hummed to herself as she mashed the potatoes and drained the green beans. She’d even made fresh buns, she was on fire tonight and tried to convince herself she wasn’t showcasing her talents in the kitchen for David’s sake. Not that she had to make herself any more appealing to him, she saw the way he watched her as she walked across the room or set the table. She’d seen her dad look at her mom like that, back when they’d been young and in love, and it brought blush to her cheeks just thinking about it. David carried a plate of sliced chicken to the table and turned to watch her tidy up the
countertop. “You are incredible, did you know that?” he mused as she swept crumbs into the kitchen sink. “Incredibly boring,” she laughed. He crossed the floor in two long strides and cupped her face in his big, rough, gentle hands. “Don’t say that,” he insisted, his eyes locking onto hers. “You’re far from it, Abbey, you’ve just forgotten that over the years. Inside, she was screaming at him to kiss her, to take here there right in the kitchen. Her body ached for him and she yearned for his touch. She couldn’t though, she cleared her throat and simply said, “It’s okay, David. You don’t have to stand up for me anymore, I’m not with Tom now.” “I have to stand up to you against yourself,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Sometimes you seem like your own worst enemy.” He finally did it then, bent low and caught her lips with his mouth. It was just a skiff, a brief moment of contact between the two of them, but it didn’t last. They heard her Dad come in from the fields, his presence announced by his clomping boot steps in the front door. “Smells good,” he called out as David’s mouth parted slightly and his teeth caught her lower lip between them, like she’d done just moments before. “Is David here? I saw his truck outside.”
As her Dad paused to take his cowboy boots off for the evening, David exhaled, a pained groan vibrating on his hot breath. He released her lip, kissed her chastely, and stepped back, pulling his hands away. His eyes never left hers as he said, “In here, Pete. I was just helping Abbey with the bird.” Abbey couldn’t speak, she couldn’t betray herself. She felt as though all the passion and love and need she’d had for David all those years ago was just brewing under the surface, waiting to burst out. But here was not the time nor the place, and Abbey drew a quivering breath and turned her attention back to the table. The kids were called down, David and her Dad took their spots, and the five of them enjoyed dinner together. But Abbey couldn’t forget that almost kiss. The way David’s lips had felt on hers, his tentative touch that swelled to force when he’d bitten her. She almost found herself lifting her finger to her lips to trace where he’d been just a short time before. After dinner they played a round of Monopoly and didn’t seem to notice when Zach kicked everybody’s asses. Abbey suspected her Dad let him win, and she and David were just too distracted to care about the game. Sophie was too little.
Zach graciously shared victory with his sister though, and that made Abbey smile. Maybe things were all going to be okay after all. She couldn’t stop glancing at David though, and he couldn’t stop looking at her. She felt his fingers catch hers under the table a couple times too, the heat of their bodies brief contact sending electric sparks up her arm. David helped her tuck the kids into bed, read Zach a story while she read to Sophie, and almost hypnotized her at how familiar and wonderful it all felt. To have a man like David stepping up and helping care for her children was intoxicating, addictive, enticing. It was also dangerous, and that snaking voice in the back of her head kept telling her she was being foolish, she didn’t even know him, he shouldn’t be getting so close to her and the kids, he was going to break their hearts. And hers. When they went downstairs he looked at his watch and sighed. Reluctantly he said, “I have to go. I’m on shift in an hour.” “Serving and protecting,” Abbey smiled, thinking of him in his uniform. She’d never had a thing for guys like that, but David had changed everything. “Walk me out to the truck?” he asked, reaching
for her hand. “Dad, I’m going out to see David off,” she called to her Dad in the living room. She heard him grunt in response, slipped on her shoes and followed David outside. They stood there awkwardly, holding hands and staring at each other in the glow of the porch light. “So back there,” David said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I’ve been trying to hard to give you space.” Abbey’s heart dropped and her fears felt like they were waking and coming to life. “What do you mean?” “The kiss,” David said and exhaled slowly. “You don’t need me pressuring you right now, I can see that. You still flinch when I touch you, you’re still healing after that that…what that fucking bastard did to you.” “Don’t apologize for it,” Abbey said and squeezed his hands. “I’m just…fuck, I’m a mess.” “You’re not though, I wish you’d stop saying that,” he said, squeezing back and looking into her eyes. “You’re an incredibly strong woman.” “If I was strong, why did it take me so long to get away?” she replied, sighing and feeling the familiar wave of defeat wash over her, sapping her strength. “You left when you could. There’s no shame in that. You left when you knew you had to,” he
replied and pulled her close against him, into his arms. She sighed and melted, felt the pinched anxiety she carried with her drain from her body, leaving only the warmth of his concern and caring. “This scares me,” she whispered against his chest. He reached up and he tangled his fingers in her thick curls, rested his hand on the back of her head as if claiming her. It felt so good that it terrified her. It felt secure and comforting and that meant only one thing to her. That it could all be taken away at any time. For the last decade or so, every time she relaxed herself and forgot her surroundings, all hell would break loose. Tom would get drunk or she’d fuck up and he’d explode. She felt David’s heart pounding in his chest, reminding her of how strong and dependable he was. And how much he felt, it beat almost in time with hers and matched the ferocity. “It shouldn’t scare you,” he murmured into her hair. “I only want to protect you and the kids. I want to make sure you never feel fear again, Abbey.” “I know,” she replied quietly. “And that’s what makes you so good. But sometimes I feel like I've gotten myself trapped here, in my mind. Like I'm at the edge of a huge cliff and I can't find the safe way down."
"You don't need to find it, Abbey, I'm here. Just jump, I'll catch you." She felt him pull back and look down at her. She dared to look up and felt herself falling into the deep pools of his eyes. They were so sincere, her heart ached for him. He bent forward to kiss her and a sharp spike of panic jolted through her limbs, making her jerk out of his arms and jump back a step. She looked up at him, terror streaking her face. "I can't, I just can't." Her voice choked with a sob and she turned and ran back into the house, leaving him standing by his truck with a distraught look on his face. She had broken him and she couldn't help herself. She had done the one thing she never wanted, she had dragged him into her world and she'd hurt him because of it. She slammed the door behind her and leaned against it, her beating heart and rapid breath betraying how much she wanted him, how much she’d wanted that kiss. She heard his truck engine fire up and the crunch of wheels on gravel as he left. And she hated that she’d run from him, from David, and Abby knew then she had to keep him even farther away or risk hurting him even more. She was damaged goods and he was too good for her.
Tom’s voice was strong in her mind as she went to bed with images of him in her head. She had nightmares that night.
CHAPTER 6
A
bbey knew David wouldn’t give up easily, so she steeled herself against his inevitable texts and phone calls. She couldn’t let herself be broken down, she needed to stand strong against her growing desires. She let a few days go by before replying, and even then it was perfunctory and friendly, but not flirty in the least. Tom still hadn’t tried to contact her, so she made an appointment in town to see a lawyer while the kids were at school. It wasn’t as bad as she’d expected, and she felt a little embarrassed that she’d assumed J. L. Robinson would be a man. J in fact stood for Joanne, and Joanne assured Abbey that she had a good case in spite of not going to the police or going in for medical attention all those times she’d been beaten.
Abbey left the appointment feeling like she had a chance at freedom, a chance at breaking away from Tom. It felt good. She decided to drive to the Co-op and drop off her resume in spite of it being just a few sentences long. Being a stay at home mother and wife to Tom had meant she’d done nothing since high school graduation and had never held a real job. Abbey was less than thrilled to find the red headed girl from last week behind the counter again. “Hi there, I saw you had a job opening,” she smiled and clutched her sparse resume. “Could I get an application?” “We don’t have an application, you talk to Rick, the owner, and he’ll decided,” she replied and looked me up and down. “I’m sure you’ll be fine though, let me call him out.” She went to the back and returned shortly after with a whip thin old cowboy type, but the kind of guy who didn’t wrangle cows, he only wore the clothes. His eyes were watery blue and his smile made her immediately uncomfortable. “Well hello there,” he said as he extended his hand. “Samantha here tells me you’re looking for work.” “I saw your post,” she replied and shook it limply, pulling it back as soon as she could. “We need a part time cashier, just somebody up
here during the day. Will your husband be okay with that?” Samantha sidled around the counter and stood behind it as she watched them. Abbey had the distinct feeling that Rick was gauging her hireablility based on that one question. She didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want to tell him she was single either. There was something in her gut telling her to keep it from him. “Oh of course,” she said coolly, keeping my gaze level on him as she lied. “I can work during the day while the kids are at school and that’s it though, he wouldn’t be pleased with me not being around for them.” “That’s understandable, kids need their mother,” Rick said, letting the smile drop from his mouth as he raked his eyes up and down her body. She could feel the weight of his judgment and it made her shudder inside. “So when can you start?” “Don’t you want to see my resume?” she asked, holding up the folded paper. She hadn’t realized how nervous she’d been, it was crumpled under her anxious fingers. “I’ve seen enough,” Rick said suggestively. “The pay is minimum wage with some benefits after your three month trial period. You get a discount on animal feed and some farm supplies, but not pesticides or fertilizers. A lot of farmers send there wives her for the discount on chemicals,
but I ain’t having it.” “That’s not my intention,” she replied, leveling her gaze to meet him in the eye. She had a sneaking suspicion he was the kind of guy who would prey upon her weakness if she showed him any. He reminded her of Tom, and that was never a good thing. “Good. You can start tomorrow. Be here at eight forty five and Sam can get you set up,” Rick said and stalked away before she could say thank you. “Well, looks like we’ll be working together,” Abbey gushed to Sam, unable to contain her excitement. “Looks like,” Sam replied and lifted a brow in contempt. Abbey hoped the red headed girl would grow to like her, or at the very least be decent to work with. She practically skipped outside to the old truck, climbed into the driver’s seat and started to dial David. He was the first person she thought of to share her good news with, but she decided against it. It was too soon after she’d almost given in and kissed him. It was too soon and too complicated to bring him into her world just yet. Abbey opted to turn the phone off and head back into town for a fancy coffee at her favorite place instead. Now that she had an income, she
could dip into the savings a little, and five bucks wasn’t going to break the bank. She found parking and stood in line, the place was packed and the hum of her fellow townsfolk filled her ears and made her feel connected to the place again. She’d been away for long enough and had been so traumatized by Tom that she’d felt as though she’d been sleepwalking since she got back. She took her coffee, a tall Americano, to the side for cream and sugar. She was about to leave when she heard her name being called. She scanned the back of the coffee shop for the source. Julia, a mom from school, was waving like mad at her. Abbey smiled and headed to the table packed with other school moms. She normally would have balked at such a thing, but she was feeling good today and decided poking her head out of her shell was a good thing. Besides, she needed somebody to share her good news with before she burst with excitement. “Wow, we haven’t seen you in here before,” Julia said with a friendly smile and offered a chair next to her. Abbey sat and said, “I usually hide out on the farm but needed something dark and loaded with caffeine today.” Julia introduced Abbey to the other moms, four of them in total. There was Ronnie, Selena, Ashley and Megan.
“I guess this makes us the Six Musketeers now,” Megan grinned when the introductions were over. “Here, here,” Selena agreed and the women tipped their mugs as if toasting. Abbey joined in and felt lighter than she had in years. “So did you hear the big news about Principal McAdams?” Ronnie whispered and the six women leaned into the center of the table. “Apparently he was caught red handed with their babysitter in a very compromising position, if you know what I mean.” “Oh my god, what a pig,” Megan whispered back. The other women agreed and Abbey felt fantastic being able to discuss somebody else’s pain for once. As much as she felt for McAdam’s wife, she’d been in that position enough times with Tom, deflecting gossip off of her felt like she was normal again. Just one of the girls. “So what were you doing in town today?” Julia asked after several minutes of conversation about everything from unfair grading practices at the kids’ school all the way to the hot new doctor at the Riverview medical clinic. “I had a job interview,” she told them. “And I got the job.” “That’s awesome! Where?” Megan asked. “The Co-op,” Abbey smiled. “I start
tomorrow.” “So you’re not going to be a regular in our coffee gossip club?” Ronnie pouted. “I’m sorry, I need to make money,” Abbey replied. “I’m a single mom now.” “That’s awesome news then. I mean Rick is a bit of an old pervert, but he respects a strong woman,” Selena told her. “You just have to be clear about your boundaries.” “That’s good to know, he gave off kind of a weird vibe today but it’s nice to have a job. Especially one I can do while the kids are in school,” Abbey replied. “Oh my god,” Selena whispered harshly and grabbed Julia’s arm. “There’s Officer McHottie.” “Is it? Where? Oh my god, where?” Ronnie whispered back with a giggle. All five women craned their necks and all converged on the line up at the counter. Abbey followed their gazes and realized with a start who they were talking about. David was standing in line with another older officer. He was wearing his uniform and looked even better than ever. Abbey had forgotten how good he looked in uniform. “He is so hot I almost feel like stealing something just to get him to frisk me,” Julia snickered. “I’ll bet he has a dangerous weapon in his
pants,” Selena laughed. “Too bad he’s such a player. I don’t think he’s ever been with the same woman twice.” Abbey cringed at that, but listened as they made suggestive jokes about David. She couldn’t peel her eyes off him. He seemed to be making small talk with his partner and completely oblivious to the hungry glances from women all around him. “Oh, who’s the lucky girl?” Julia asked as a slight blonde woman sidled up to David and greeted him brightly. “I’d like to be her,” Selena laughed lightly. David put his arm around the girl’s shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. “Imagine having Officer McHottie grab you like that, oh my god.” Abbey narrowed her eyes and instantly hated the blonde. She knew it wasn’t rational, but her jealousy flared angry and hot and beyond her control. She stood abruptly and set her mug down. “What’s going on?” Julia asked and looked up at Abbey. “I just decided I need a muffin,” she replied calmly and walked towards the line. David spotted her immediately and stepped out of line to greet her. “Abbey, what are you doing here?” “Just having some coffee with the girls,” Abbey replied and indicated the table she just left. “What
are you doing?” “I’m here getting a quick snack before we’re back on patrol,” David said. “This is Fred, my partner, and his daughter Katie.” Abbey felt the jealousy deflate inside of her, it fluttered out and she smiled at the blonde and her father. “Pleased to meet you,” she said. “And you,” Fred told her with a broad smile. “David talks non stop about you.” “I need to get back to class, can I get that five dollars, Dad?” Katie asked, interrupting the conversation. It was then that Abbey realized she was a teenager. She felt silly again, like she had over Marta. She couldn’t keep getting worked up over David, especially if she was going to stick with her choice to keep him as a friend only. Fred handed his daughter some money and Katie took off without saying goodbye to any of them. Abbey smiled at Fred and said, “I remember being that age, oh to be that carefree again.” “I remember you at that age too,” David replied. “You were never that carefree, Abbey. You had the weight of the world on your shoulders by the time I knew you.” “I had your dead weight, thinking that I was carrying you through high school all that time,” Abbey laughed. “That is true,” he smiled and glanced at Fred. “I had convinced Abby back then that I needed her
help as my private tutor.” “Ah, I’m sue he was at your place every day, the eager student,” Fred chuckled. “That he was,” Abbey laughed, and looked at David with a newfound appreciation. Of course she’d always admired and loved David in her way, but the easy way he had introducing her to his friends and his world made her feel included at a time she needed it most. They chatted for a few more minutes before David and Fred needed to get back to work. Abbey walked back to the table and allowed herself to bask in the admiration of the other moms. She felt somewhat like a rock star, and it wasn’t such a bad thing.
CHAPTER 7
A
bbey slid through the first couple weeks at the Co-op like she’d worked there forever. It had taken a bit of getting used to on the first day, trying to count back customer’s change and trying to remember whether the laying ration chicken feed was better than the high protein corn ration. But she surprised herself by being a fast learner, catching onto the cash system and their inventory in record time, according to Rick. Even if he was being a bit of a lecherous old creep when he told her, she’d take it as a compliment and run as fast as she could to the front counter to get away from him. David had come over the day after she’d started work. He’d brought a celebration ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, the kind that most adults didn’t like but the kids went crazy when they
saw it. It had been a nice visit, nothing too weird, and ended with David promising to take them all fishing some time soon. Abbey was relieved and maybe just a little saddened by the fact that he hadn’t pursued her harder once she’d backed off. But work and kids and keeping them busy on the weekends and somewhat managed to keep her mind off David. She hated that her life had been reduced to this, pining for a man who clearly wanted her but too terrified to let anything happen. Time slipped through her fingers like a little fish, wiggling away as it does when you have children and a job and are doing your best to forget about the man you should stay away from. You’re not good enough for a man like that. Work helped pass the time, and the kids took care of the rest. She kept busy helping Dad with the farm, getting it ready for winter when the snow would fly and blanket everything with a few feet of the white stuff. David was gently and persistent though, but his contact was slowing down as he got the hint. Although she wasn’t deliberately sending him hints, she was fighting her own battle. On one side, every cell in her body ached for David. She wanted him to not take no for an answer and pursue her
whole heartedly. And on the other, she had Tom’s voice whispering in the back of her head that everything she touched would turn to shit. Every man she loved would abuse her and leave her dried up and alone. The two sides of her felt so at odds that sometimes it was exhausting. And she didn’t know how to get off the cycle of thoughts. She didn’t know how to stop them all and find the calmness inside that would tell her which direction she should go. And if she was being honest and listened to that inside gut feeling, when all was quiet in the house and Tom’s voice had silenced…she knew which way it told her. It told her to run to David, repair her past and set her life on the path she had always meant to travel. By being with David, she could heal them both and complete their lives. That being apart was stupid now, they were two broken halves of a whole, and coming together would complete them both. But fear was a powerful motivator, and Tom’s voice would always wake up, slither up the back of her spine and flick its forked tongue in her ear. You’re not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. He will leave you and you will
end up destroyed with nothing. Nobody will ever love you again. Finally the only way she could silence it was to sleep, and work, and keep herself constantly distracted…from the voice and the ache deep in her body for David.
ABOUT A MONTH into her work at the Co-op, her lawyer called her in for an appointment. Abbey felt bile rise in the back of her throat when she climbed the stairs to the office. She shivered in the autumn weather and from the fear gripping her heart in its icy grasp. She waited until Joanne called her in, settled into the chair on shaking legs, and waited for the bad news. “Well, they finally got back to us,” Joanne told her, shifting a stack of papers in front of her. “How bad is it?” Abbey asked, her mouth dry and pasty. “I won’t sugar coat it, it’s bad,” Joanne replied. “His parents are quite rich, are they not?” “They are.” “They’ve hired the best legal team money could buy and they’re coming out of the gate with their fists flying.”
“Will he grant me a divorce?” “He will,” Joanne said and Abbey relaxed a little although her fingers were still white as she clawed the chair. “But…they’re requesting full custody of the kids.” “Full custody?” Abbey exclaimed. “He barely saw them when we lived with him, what the hell would he do with them now? They’re terrified of him!” “Yes, that will be our defense,” Joanne said, “we will need you to go to the RCMP though, and file a complaint against him for battery.” “Do I have to?” “You do, it’s the only way to make this official and to play hardball. Now I’m not judging you here, but it’s obvious you have limited funds and can’t afford a long drawn out legal battle. We can do this, you just have to punch back twice as hard.” “I guess I could,” Abbey said with her mind racing a million miles a minute. She hated the thought of David finding out all the humiliating details. He would surely wonder why she’d stuck around as long as she had. “After that we’ll have a professional assess the children’s state of mind, to prove he’s an unfit father,” Joanne said and looked Abbey in the eye. “Listen, I know this sounds bad right now but it’s just the beginning. I’d be surprised if he and his mother hadn’t come out swinging. For now if you
could show good faith and let his parents talk to the kids, that would help for our side.” “I don’t want to talk to those people,” Abbey replied, feeling defeated and lost. “You don’t have to. I’ll get a number, we’ll arrange a time, and you can have me call them for the kids. They can have five minutes each, and that’s it.” Abbey sighed and realized she would have to play fair even if it was with the very people who had always turned their backs when they’d seen Abbey’s bruised flesh and slowly fading demeanor. His mom had always said Tom was a handful and you just had to know how to deal with him, as if it was Abbey’s fault for setting him off. His dad hadn’t acknowledged it at all, preferring to avoid eye contact and conversation while he buried his head in the sand. “Okay, set it up and give me some time to prepare the kids,” Abbey agreed. “And let’s hope this mess is fixed as soon as possible.” She left the office for her work feeling a little depressed. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’d expected Tom to let her go, but that would be much too generous for a man like him. He would rather break his toys than let anyone else play with them as a child, and he would rather have a horse put down than sell it to a good home. She wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t mean it
didn’t feel like a punch in the gut. She passed through the rest of the day like a ghost and barely managed to fix dinner before getting the kids to bed. She couldn’t help herself that night though. Sitting on a chair on the back porch with a thick blanket tucked around her, she had to text David. In spite of her attempts to keep him at a distance, he was always the one she needed when life got to be too much. She texted him and waited for his reply. It never came, and she ended up feeling foolish as she checked her phone for the hundredth time. It was a pity too, the sky was bright with stars and the air was chilly enough for her breath to hang in the air, painting it for a moment or two before dissipating like an ethereal cloud. She was about to go inside when headlights cut across the field. Somebody was pulling in and she recognized the sound of David’s truck immediately. She texted him to come around back the moment she heard his truck door slam shut. She didn’t need him knocking and waking up her dad and the kids. “There you are,” he said as he came around the corner of the house. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” He took the stairs up two at a time and sat on the bench next to her.
“It’s not that bad,” she replied, lifting the corner of her blanket. Without thought, without consideration, without fear of doubt, she did what came naturally to her when David was near. “Do you want to share?” “Hell yeah,” David said with a grin that lit up the night and sent flutters wiggling through her stomach. He wiggled near her on the bench, pulled the blanket over both of them and lifted his arm so she could snuggle in against him, drawing heat from his body. She could feel the rhythmic swell of his heart against her as they watched the stars and talked into the late night. Eventually hers matched his and it was as if the two of them shared one between them. It was exactly what she needed that day. David had given her confidence to fight Tom and his family and he didn’t even know it. He didn’t need to know it, just being him was enough for her to gather strength and dig in for the coming battle. He had to go just before midnight, he was working an overnight shift. Abbey felt a tearing sensation as he lifted his arm and stood up, holding his hand out for her. It almost hurt to lose contact with him. He shifted uncomfortably and her eyes flitted to the bulge in his jeans. She smiled and stood, knowing
his body ached for her as much as she did for him. Without thought again, she grabbed his hand and stood on her tippy toes, pulled him towards her and hooked her other hand around the back of his neck. It didn’t take much to pull him down for a kiss, and his hot breath was filled with a groan when their lips touched. Abbey could have fallen dead right then and there, the kiss was such perfection. His lips were soft at first, then more demanding as the moment continued. Their tongues slid against each other, endlessly, like time itself had lost all meaning in the midst of their kiss. She wrapped her arms around his huge, muscled body and felt his around her, offering warmth and safety…and promising so much more if they ever got to that. When they got to that. She opened her eyes at one point and saw shooting stars streaking through the velvety sky behind David, and for that moment it felt like all of nature was in celebration with them. But real life kicked in and he had to break his lips free from hers, take her hands in his and look down at her with hooded eyes. “Damn, Abbey, I have to go,” he exhaled. “I know,” she replied. “Stay safe.” “I will,” he said, “I’ll come back to you.”
“Please do,” she said and with that, he turned on his heel and bounded down the steps, around the house and to his truck. She stepped down to watch his lights cut the pasture again and head back down the road. As he disappeared out of sight, she raised her fingers to her lips and traced them. They felt swollen and hot and already cold without David’s mouth on hers. She went to bed that night feeling fierce and ready to fight. Her dreams were good, and full of a man with violet eyes and the softest tongue.
CHAPTER 8
J
oanne called early the next week with a time and date for the phone call. David had been taking extra shifts at the station to cover his partner’s vacation, so they’d been reduced to texting and the occasional quick phone call. Abbey hated it, she hated how much she missed him when he wasn’t around and how much her head battled even now. She let him know when the phone call would happen though, and he made sure to have the time to join her. When she parked her old truck, David pulled up beside her and the kids shrieked his name in joy. They hadn’t been like that when Abbey had told them about calling their grandparents. They’d grumbled and complained, neither one of them had
ever spent much time with Tom’s family, so they didn’t know what the big deal was. “How are you feeling?” David asked after the kids had settled down and they were climbing the seemingly endless flight of stairs to Joanne’s office. “You know, weird I guess,” Abbey replied. “I was hoping they’d let me disappear into thin air, but with that family it was just wishful thinking.” “Let me know if you need anything else at all,” he told her, “any time. You know I’m here for you.” “Thank you,” she replied and held the door open as the kids tumbled through. Sophie caught the edge of a rug and fell, hitting Zach and almost knocking him over in the process. Abbey braced herself for Zach’s quick silver temper to flare and for him to lash out at his sister. “I’m sorry,” Sophie said, her lower lip quivering as she clung to Zach’s shirt to steady herself. “It’s okay, it was an accident,” Zach said and helped his little sister gain her balance. He grabbed her hand and helped her to the sofa where he made sure she wasn’t hurt. Abbey’s heart swelled and it was reaffirmed again. Leaving Tom had been the right thing, not just for her safety but for her kids’ souls. She couldn’t imagine how brutal Zach would be if she’d stayed with Tom. And even worse, how timid Sophie would have
grown to be. Being even just a couple months with Dad on the farm had done them well, and being around people like David had given them a look at how decent people were with each other. Abbey was proud that she had taken the steps to leave and prevent the horrible future that would have marred her children forever. “You’re trembling,” David said quietly and placed his hand on Abbey’s arm. “I’m nervous,” she admitted. “They’ll do fine,” David replied. “They’re good kids, you’ve done a good job raising them.” “Thank you.” They were called into Joanne’s office shorty after and Abbey hung back with David while each of her children made their way through the phone call with grandparents they barely remembered. Abbey was pleased at how joyous her children sounded as they spoke of riding and their new school, friends and even David. She’d decided before the appointment that she wouldn’t censor what her kids said, but it did make her nervous that both of them had brought him up. Tom wouldn’t be happy with that. Fuck what Tom thinks. The though floated through her mind with the power of conviction. For once Tom’s sibilant voice was silenced and
Abbey’s courage had a voice of its own. Fuck Tom, fuck his parents. She smiled and the calls were done before she knew it. “Who wants ice cream?” David asked as they left the building. Of course everyone did, so off to their favorite little café they went. It ended up being one of those days that Abbey was determined to hang onto forever. One of those sun dappled days full of love and laughter and everything that made life worth it in the end.
ABBEY HAD BEEN SECRETLY HOPING David would ask her on a date or something over the weekend, but he had to work. And work, and work. It seemed to her that he was always working. So much for his promise of being there when she needed him. Although that wasn’t really fair, she hadn’t really needed him. She’d needed him to need her, and to pursue her. That’s what she really wanted if she was being completely truthful. But admitting it made her feel vulnerable so she didn’t indulge the thought too many times. Autumn was kicking into full gear and Abbey
could almost taste snow on the wind. Just before Halloween they’d had the threat of snow for a couple days, but nothing had appeared. In fact they’d ended up with an unseasonable warm spell that made for bright sunny days and grumpy kids. “I want to go as an ice princess, it’s going to look stupid without any snow,” Sophie griped on the way to school one morning. “I’ll look bad ass no matter what,” Zach declared confidently. He was going as some sort of cartoon ninja robot, Abbey had spent some of her precious savings on a store bought costume. Sophie’s was home made. “Excuse me, young man. What did you just say?” Abbey exclaimed at Zach’s cussing. He glanced at her across the front seat and went a furious, deep red. For a moment she thought he was going to fight her over it, but he humbled himself, dropped his eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Mom.” “It’s fine, but I don’t want you to be using that kind of language anywhere, do you understand?” “I do,” he replied, still humble. Abbey felt a little guilty at punishing him, but knew he needed it. Sophie provided the much needed comic relief when she said, “Besides, everybody knows it’s butt kicking. The other way just sounds weird.”
Zach laughed and said, “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s try this again. My costume is going kick butt!” “It is!” Sophie giggled. “And so is yours,” Zach reassured his little sister. “Even if there isn’t snow, you’ll be the best ice princess ever!” Sophie was satisfied with that, and once again Abbey was happy she was home. She managed to stop for coffee before she headed to work and was disappointed to not run into David. She hadn’t seen him around much at all, and even trying to manufacture ‘accidental’ meetings didn’t seem to work. She got into work about a minute before her shift started and found the old perv standing with his hands on his hips behind the counter. “Something up, boss?” she asked as she slipped off her coat, tucked it underneath and pulled on her green apron. “I needed to talk to you,” Rick said, his eyes flitting up and down her body, leaving an oily feeling on her skin. “Go ahead,” Abbey replied, but she didn’t like where this seemed to be going. She hadn’t had much trouble with Rick, he’d tried to get dirty a couple times but she’d always managed to slam him back into his place. If she’d learned anything from dealing with
Tom over her marriage, it was how to stand up for your boundaries like your life depended on it. “Well, I guess it’s time for a raise,” Rick said and set his cowboy had back on his head a little. “You’ve been with us for a couple months and you’re doing good. The customers like you and you’re good with the cash. So as of next pay period, you’ll have fifty cents more per hour.” “Thank you!” Abbey replied and watched the old cowboy walk slowly to the back of the store. “Looks like you’ve gotten him whipped into shape,” Samantha said, raising her brow. “He needs it, good for you.” “I’ve never gotten a raise before,” Abbey said. “It feels kinda good.” She and Sam had been getting along pretty well, they had a similar sense of humor and the younger girl was easy to talk to. Abbey had kept closely guarded about her personal life and her interest in David, but she had noticed Sam staring at her the couple times David had popped in to pick up some things. Or so he said, Abbey wasn’t sure if he really needed anything or if he just stopped to see her. She liked to imagine it was the latter. She was almost finished for the day and getting ready to pick the kids up when Sam’s friend came in to gossip. It was a regular occurrence, but it meant Sam
would be too distracted for Abbey to leave her alone just then. Abbey decided to cash out first, take her time and let Sam visit with her friend. She would clean up later, her station wasn’t that bad anyhow. She was halfway through counting the twenties when a piece of whispered conversation caught her attention. “I can’t believe he asked you out,” Sam’s friend said. “Officer McHottie never takes anyone out. Like seriously, never.” “I know, but he totally did,” Sam replied, “see? Here’s the text.” She shoved her phone under her friend’s nose and her friend squealed. “Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” her friend said, “when are you going out?” Abbey sidled over and tried to remain as neutral as possible. “Ooohh, guy gossip. What’s going on?” “Dear Samantha here is about to crack the toughest nut in town,” Sam’s friend blurted out with excitement. “Officer McHottie, also known as David with the hot body.” Sam blushed and mumbled, “We’re just going out next week, it’s not like it’s a big deal.” “Not a big deal? Are you kidding me? You’re going to basically capture the mythical unicorn and you say it’s no big deal?” Sam’s friend exclaimed. Abbey had a sudden flash of David’s mouth on hers, his tongue in her mouth and his hot breath
filling her up with his aching desire. She could have moaned right then and there at the memory. “Oh cool,” Abbey replied. “Does he not date that much?” “You should know, you went to school with him,” Sam snapped. She seemed uncomfortable but Abbey prodded more. “We went to school but we don’t really talk about our dating life,” she said. “I think he had a girlfriend in Piper’s Lake,” Sam’s friend said. “They weren’t together for long and they just broke up.” “Piper’s Lake?” Abbey asked, her head snapping to look Sam’s friend in the eyes. “That’s where he’s working sometimes,” she said, taken aback with Abbey’s ferocity. “And I just heard it from a friend of a friend. It’s not like I saw them together or anything.” “I don’t need details, I’m just surprised that he’s working out of town is all,” Abbey replied, desperately covering her tracks. “Good luck with him, and have fun. Let me know if you get anywhere.” “Sure,” Sam replied and glanced at her friend. It was clear the two of them saw Abbey as a crazy woman, and just then Abbey was feeling like a crazy woman.” She finished cashing out, picked up the kids, and high tailed it home to steam over David’s
girlfriend in Piper’s Lake. And him handing out his number to random girls like Sam. There was no denying her feelings this time. Abbey was jealous. And she was pissed off.
CHAPTER 9
H
alloween fell on a Wednesday the following week, and much to Sophie’s disappointment, there was no snow. David came along but the night was too busy to bring up the topic of Sam and his phone number. It weighed heavy on Abbey’s mind the entire time though. “Have you ever seen a prettier princess?” Sophie asked David when they hopped into the back of his truck cab. His was new, way nicer than Abbey’s and made her feel a little self conscious of her own shitty vehicle. “I have not,” David told her and helped her up, buckling her in with a gentleness that made Abbey’s heart pound a little faster. He would make such a good father, he should have been the father to her children.
Not that she would have changed her two little monkeys for anything in the world, but she would give anything to have Tom stay away from them completely. “Should we go to the trailer park on the hill near the lake?” David asked as he helped Abbey up into the passenger seat of the truck. He walked around the other side, climbed in and fired it up. “Where’s that?” Zach asked from the back seat. “It’s where your mom and I went one time in high school, when we still trick or treated,” David told him. “I think that was our last year,” Abbey laughed. “We dressed up like people from the eighteen hundreds. I was a saloon girl and David was a gold miner.” “Those were the days,” David grinned. “We were much more naïve than the kids around now.” “That’s true,” I said. “What does that mean?” Sophie asked. “It means we didn’t get up to trouble,” David said. “Speaking of which, I do need to work later on. I can drop you guys off around nine.” “Nine is a little late for a school night anyhow,” Abbey replied, bristling at the fact that he needed to work again. It made her jealous side go crazy, did he need to actually work or was he just getting away from her to go spend time with Sam? David either didn’t notice her tension or he
chose not to respond. He laughed and teased the kids, was the perfect gentleman with her, and generally made the entire experience all that much better. And true to his word he did have them home well before nine. Abbey’s dad was waiting for them on the front steps. “There they are, my little ninja and princess,” her dad exclaimed and held out his hands. “Now where is my candy tax?” “Candy tax?” Sophie laughed. “What the heck is a candy tax?” “It’s a tax you pay to me in candy,” Abbey’s dad laughed and chased both kids up the stairs as they giggled like mad and clutched their candy bags to their chests. The front door slammed and Abbey found herself alone with David once again, and once again her feelings were so mixed up inside her chest that she could almost feel them slamming against her rib cage as they battled it out. Fear and desire, those were the two prominent emotions. Fear of being vulnerable and desire for David. “I wish I didn’t have to work,” David said, taking a step towards her. “You gotta do what you gotta do,” Abbey frowned and stiffened up as he reached her. He stood in front and she had to crane her neck to look
up at him. “Are you mad at me?” he asked and brushed a strand of her messy curly hair off her forehead. “No,” she replied and pursed her lips. “You seem awfully pissed off about something,” he said and ran his hand through her tangled hair, resting it on the back of her neck like she loved. “I’m not,” she said, still looking up at him. His eyes almost glowed in the light from the porch, giving him an other worldly sense. “I think you are,” he said and kept his hand firm on her neck as he bent to kiss her again. “And I don’t care if you are right now, Abbey, because I need to taste you. Anger and all.” Before she could protest his mouth covered hers and any words she might have said were muffled against his tongue. And anything that had been welling up inside of her became a moan as her body responded to his and she began to throb with lust for her childhood friend. She couldn’t help herself, she wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her close, holding her tight. In the midst of their kiss when she was sailing high above the earth on every romantic cliché she could think of, his phone went off. He winced but kept kissing, ignoring the
persistent chiming as long as possible until he had to break away. “God dammit, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice strained as he looked at the screen. “It’s work, I need to get in now. There’s been more activity tonight than we anticipated, damned kids.” A flare of jealousy burned in Abbey’s chest and she almost demanded to see his phone to prove it. Instead she slammed her walls down and locked him out. “That’s fine, I’m tired anyhow,” she said. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up now?” he asked her, stroking her cheek softly. “You have to go,” she replied. “I can’t go until I know we’re okay,” he said. “Have you been spending time in Piper’s Lake?” she blurted. “Piper’s Lake?” “Uh yeah, next town over. Remember?” “For work, yes,” he replied, but he dropped his eyes and seemed to be holding something back. “I see,” she said and stiffened up even more. All the times Tom had cheated on her came rushing back like a tidal wave washing over her, leaving her gasping for air and unable to breathe. She wouldn’t be humiliated again, not now, and not when she was trying desperately to start over with a clean slate. His phone went off again and he looked at it,
frowned and said, “Listen, I’m working a lot this week but promise me you’ll save Saturday night for me. I have something to show you.” “What is it?” “I can’t tell you, I have to show you,” he said with a lopsided grin. “I’m not fooling around if that’s your worry. But we’ll talk about it when my workload isn’t so crazy, okay?” “Fine,” Abbey replied and let him walk her to the front porch. He tried to kiss her quickly there, but she turned her face at the last minute and his lips landed on her neck. “Dammit, Abbey,” he said and sighed. “Everything will be clear on Saturday. I’m not trying to hurt you.” She heard his words but she couldn’t feel them. Her fear and insecurities wouldn’t let her feel them. As David drove away, Abbey watched and Tom’s voice came back, wrapping itself around her heart until it squeezed hard enough that it hurt. He’s going to her. He doesn’t care about you, you’re just another conquest. How could any man love you enough to be faithful? She choked back a sob and went inside, found her dad waiting with some tea and welcome distraction. She didn’t know if she believed David or not, and she didn’t know if she ever would.
How could such a damaged woman ever give him what he deserved? He should be with somebody free of baggage and devoid of cracks. He should be with somebody like Sam. Abbey didn’t deserve him.
SAM CAME up to her at work the next day and said, “I want to apologize for the other day.” “What for?” Abbey replied. “I didn’t mean to hurt you by talking about David. I was just excited and forgot that you seem to like him.” “I don’t like him, he’s a friend and that’s all.” “Oh good because we’re going out tonight.” “Oh really?” “Yeah, he invited me to the movies,” Sam said with a smug grin. “How nice for you,” Abbey replied and her heart turned to stone. This felt like every time Tom was busy with friends or working too hard at the ranch only to find out he’d been banging any little cowgirl who slowed down enough for him to catch. And only to find out that everybody in their friends circle or his family knew about it, but not
Abbey. She was too stupid and really too naïve to ever think anything of it. Even when the evidence was too great to ignore, she chose to stick her head in the sand and hope he’d keep away from her if he was occupied with somebody else. Not this time though, she refused to let herself go through it again. She would see him on Saturday and she would finally tell him it was never meant to be, she wouldn’t be played by him and she needed time to get over her marriage. She wasn’t even divorced yet anyhow, why was she pining for David? Tom’s voice gave a smug laugh inside of her somewhere and when her fear won, it felt satiated and content.
CHAPTER 10
A
bbey managed to mostly avoid Sam the rest of the week, although she couldn’t help but notice Sam’s smug satisfaction the day after her supposed date with David. She walked around the entire day humming to herself and wearing a sly smile, as if she had a secret that she was bursting at the seams to tell if only Abbey would ask. Abbey refused to ask. In fact she refused to look at Sam much at all. Friday rolled around and the kids were excited about the weekend. Snow had been forecast once again and her dad had promised to take them snowmobiling if they got enough in the fields. After dinner that night her dad got the kids to bed and she made hot chocolate and lounged on the couch with a good book. She didn’t get much
reading done, she was checking her phone every ten seconds for David’s text. As much as she was irritated by the whole Sam dating thing, she was still dying to know what he had in mind for her tomorrow. Her dad came down the stairs and ran his hand through his thinning hair. It struck her then how much he’d aged since she was a little girl, but how much better he looked since they got here. “Those kids have too much energy,” he chuckled and sat in his recliner near the fireplace. “Tell me about it,” Abbey replied and set her book down, giving up the illusion of reading once and for all. “You’ve done a good job,” he told her, “in spite of everything you’ve been through.” “It’s been tough,” Abbey said, “I won’t lie. Being with him was tough.” “I know you haven’t said much about your life over there, but I can see it in your eyes,” he Dad replied. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” Abbey asked. “I failed you,” he replied, a pained look in his eyes. “I failed at my most important job, after your mother died you needed me more than ever and I failed you. I couldn’t protect you from a man like Tom.” “I chose to marry him,” she said, feeling the weight of his emotion heavy in her heart. He had
suffered after her mom’s death, both of them had. “It wasn’t your fault. There’s nothing anyone could have said to stop me.” “I guess even David couldn’t do it,” her dad said. “What chance did I have?” “David never said anything back then,” Abbey replied and heat reached her cheeks as she thought about David’s kisses and her jealousy. “He didn’t show up at your wedding?” her dad asked, seeming surprised. “No, was he?” “He said he was. He showed up here like a bat out of hell demanding to know where it was happening. I told him the courthouse, and he babbled on like a mad man about stopping it, saving you and letting you know how he felt.” Abbey’s mind stilled long enough for her to understand the revelation. Back then she’d been so in love with Tom that she’d agreed to marry him as soon as he’d asked. He hadn’t wanted to spend money on a big wedding, so she’d let him talk her into a simple date before the judge at the courthouse. At the time it hadn’t bothered her, but in many fights since he had brought it up, telling her he was ashamed of marrying such an ugly woman and that’s why he hadn’t wanted it to be a public event. Abbey wondered if David had been there, she thought she’d seen him out of the corner of her eye
when they’d exited the building, but hadn’t paid much attention. Tom had carried her out in his arms, and she’d kissed him the entire time he’d dashed down the steps, her joy bubbling out of her like cheap champagne bubbles. “He loves you, you know,” her dad said, breaking into her memories. “He’s been loyal to you for years now.” “I doubt that, he has a reputation of sleeping around,” she laughed acidly. “Sleeping with a woman and loving a woman are two different beasts in a man’s heart,” he said. “You should know that by now. David has never fallen in love in spite of them women he’s been with, that oughtta tell you something.” “I…I think I have feelings for him too,” Abbey admitted, feeling lighter for saying it out loud. “No shit, Sherlock,” her dad chuckled and got up out of his chair. “Now do you want me to make you another mug of hot chocolate while you check your phone every two seconds?” Abbey laughed and handed him her cup. “I guess I can’t keep much from you, old man.” He walked to the kitchen and Abbey finally felt her phone buzz. She looked at the screen and David had texted her, sending her heart into a dizzy flutter. Tomorrow at six, meet me at the old Anderson farm.
Abbey replied yes, but wondered what the heck he was up to and why he wanted her to come to their neighbor’s abandoned ranch. It didn’t matter though, not as much as the fact that he’d sent her a message and she would see him again tomorrow.
ABBEY WAS lucky that the kids had been excited to have a movie night with her dad. They had begged him to watch some Disney cartoon, but he’d convinced them to watch one of his favorite old westerns. “As long as it’s not violent,” Abbey said as she headed out the door. “These kids don’t need to see that kind of thing.” “Not violent at all,” her dad reassured her, “it’s got some fighting but it’s pretty PG compared to most movies these days.” Abbey checked her phone, she had fifteen minutes to meet David and find out what the heck was going on. “Just go,” her dad said and waved her away. “We’ll be fine.” “Yeah, we’re fine!” Zach grinned and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table.
“Okay, I get the hint, I’ll let you guys have your party,” Abbey laughed. Sophie lifted her soda can and looked equal parts guilty and excited. Abbey was thrilled that the kids were so comfortable around her dad. They’d bonded with him in the short time since he’d been in their lives. Once again she realized she’d made the right decision. Leaving Tom had been the right choice all along. Her heart was full as she walked to her truck, shivering in the chilly air. It felt like snow, but there were too many stars showing for it to happen tonight. She watched for the driveway to the Anderson Ranch and almost missed it. She slowed down and drove carefully down the long and winding driveway, it was overgrown since the Andersons had moved away and been unable to sell the place. David’s truck was already parked in front of the old ranch house so Abbey pulled up behind it. She stepped out and looked up. The house was still a little run down but light blazed from the windows on the first floor. The door opened wide and David stepped out looking more like a mythical warrior than her best friend from high school. Abbey bit her lower lip to prevent herself from gasping, but she couldn’t help her body’s reaction
to his muscular frame. She strummed with desire and felt liquid heat swirling around in her stomach. But she was still insecure and worried about Sam. She could still feel the shame of betrayal after Tom’s many affairs, and she didn’t know if her body would ever let that go. David walked down the steps towards her, his smile as bright as the sun and his eyes twinkling with some untold secret. “What’s going on?” Abbey asked as he got close. “Why here?” “This is the surprise,” David grinned and swept his hand around the farm yard. “What is?” “The ranch,” he said, staring down at her with his violet eyes shining. “The Anderson place?” “You can officially call it the Edwards place. As of today,” he said and held up a set of keys, dangling it between them. “You bought it?” Abbey exclaimed. “This is such a big amount of land though, can you handle it yourself?” “I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he replied with a wink. “Now before we talk shop, come in and eat. You’re officially my first guest.” Fighting the rising ache in her body, Abbey simply nodded and followed him into the house, yanking her hand back as if his touch was fire when
he brushed against hers. “It’s pretty simply, just some comfort food. You still like lasagna I hope,” he said as they walked through his front door. “I do,” Abbey replied, and man did she ever. She could dive into a pool of lasagna and die happy. Tom hadn’t let her have it though, he’d always been afraid of carbs and how they’d make Abbey fat. Even when she begged him during her first pregnancy, he’d denied her, telling her she was already a whale and leaving her carless and alone at the house munching on rice crackers, sobbing at her plight. And she hadn’t known it then, but he’d left her to go into the arms of some woman he’d met somewhere along the long months of rodeo. Abbey never knew if Tom told his women he was married, or if he’d lied to them too. It didn’t matter then, and it didn’t matter now but it felt like a sliver in Abbey’s heart that was still festering and throbbing with pain every time she tried to dislodge it. The very same sliver pinched her now as she thought about how amazing David was, how completely and devastatingly handsome he was, and how horribly painful it would be if he destroyed her heart with betrayal. David tried to make small talk as he served
their dinner. It smelled insanely delicious and Abbey felt cozy and at home in the shabby house. She looked around and could see it back when the Anderson family had lived here, the cheery yellow wallpaper in the kitchen that was now faded, the big fieldstone fireplace in the living room crackling with bright warmth as the kids sat around listening to Mr. Anderson tell them stories of his youth. Abbey hadn’t spent much time here as a kid, but the time she’d had was filled with the smells and sounds of home. “It’s not much, I know,” David said as he noticed her gaze wandering around the room. “It’s not that, I can still remember the family here,” Abbey said. “It was a nice place back then.” “When Mr. Anderson was hurt in that tractor accident, they had to move to the city to be closer to her family,” David said. “It’s been sitting empty forever and a day because anyone who wanted to buy it wanted to subdivide and break up the ranch.” “So that’s not your intention?” “Not by a country mile. I want to see this place back in operation. I’ll work on the house and get it shiny and new…and ready for a family maybe,” he said, suddenly bashful. For a moment she saw the David she’d known in high school and she realized what she might not have picked up on back then. David did love her. He always had.
So why had he gone out with Sam? She felt that sliver pinch and bubble with all the terrible things still left in her head and heart from Tom. That voice whispered in the back of her mind and she couldn’t concentrate on their conversation. He’s fucking Sam. They laugh at you behind your back. The whole town thinks you’re a laughingstock. I was right, you’re a dumb bitch. Abbey finally couldn’t take it anymore, in the middle of one of his sentences she blurted out the thing that had been driving her to distraction. “Did you go out with Sam this week?” He stopped, looked at her and immediately she knew. His pained expression gave it away. He dropped his eyes, lifted them again and locked them on hers. In a quiet whisper he said, “Yeah, I did.”
CHAPTER 11
A
bbey’s icy heart shattered and the splinter worked free, releasing all the bile and poisonous thoughts that had been driving her mad. “How could you?” she demanded. “How could you take her out when you’ve been hot after me?” “It’s not what you think,” he replied in an even tone. “Hell, it was meaningless and nonsense.” “Then what was it? It was a date, admit it.” “It was dinner and a movie, that was it.” “That’s a date!” “I promised her months ago that I’d take her to see the new Star Wars movie when it came out. That’s all it was. I see Sam as a friend, nothing more.” “Did you sleep with her?” Abbey asked, hating how his face once again let her know the answer. “Yeah, I did. Months ago,” David said in that
careful tone that almost drove her as nuts as his actions. Why wasn’t he fighting her? Why wasn’t he raging back? “So you fucked her and you took her on a date. That’s classy,” Abbey spat. “It meant nothing, Sam means nothing,” David said, and Abbey saw a flare of anger flash at that moment and it scared her. “Besides, why the hell are you interrogating me? What gives you that right? You’ve done nothing but push me away since you got here!” “It just pisses me off that you’re no better than Tom,” Abbey snapped and saw her arrow hit its mark. David winced at that but she kept going. “You’re a man whore, chasing other women and coming back to me.” “Don’t you dare compare me to that son of a bitch. I would never hurt you, Abbey. I would rather hurt myself than ever raise a fist to you,” David said in a low, measured voice. “And for your information I haven’t been with another woman since you got back, did you know that? I won’t apologize for the women I was with when you were gone, but I haven’t been with a damned one of them since you found your way back to us.” “You can’t just switch that off, it’s part of who you are,” Abbey snarled, “I’ve heard about you, Officer McHottie. You hump and dump your way through town then start over again when you’ve
slept with them all!” Abbey couldn’t handle the flow of emotions racing through her, she felt shaky and threatened even though she knew deep inside that David would never hurt her. He was no Tom, but her body and brain still couldn’t separate that fact. She stood abruptly, her chair scraping on the floor, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the house. It was dark now, darker than she had expected, and there were big fat white flakes of snow falling from the sky. The kids would be happy at least, they would wake up and find the land blanketed in fresh, white powder. If only starting over was that easy for her, but every time she felt like her heart was pure again and she was no longer the flawed woman who had stayed with Tom, cracks started to show and she felt like she was losing her mind. She stomped over to her truck, got in and fired it up without looking back at the house to see where David was, if he was following her. Adrenaline coursed through every cell in her body and her jealousy had morphed into a flight or fight reaction, and right now she was fleeing. It’s all she could do, it’s all she knew. She put the truck in reverse and hit the gas. She
heard the crunch of gravel under her tires and the sudden sound of the truck hitting wet ground. “Shit,” she murmured under her breath. In her distraught state she must have driven off the driveway and onto the grass. She flipped it into drive and hit the gas again. The tires spun but the truck was going nowhere, the wet snow had turned the edge of the driveway into a mud pit and her old truck didn’t have proper tires. “Damn,” she muttered and tried the gas again. Tires spun but she went nowhere. Frustrated tears prickled her eyes and she began to realize how foolish she’d been acting as the adrenaline burned off her. David wasn’t Tom, her body and brain needed to realize that, to catch up with what her heart already knew. David was the one. The one she loved and the one who loved her. They were meant for each other and always had been. Loving David wasn’t scary, and in a strange way, that’s what scared her. She looked up and jumped, startled by David standing in front of her truck, in her headlights. He looked angry, but not threatening. He looked like a man in love and he was desperately handsome, even like this. Tom had always gone ugly in his rage. Abbey didn’t know how to react. Part of her
worried that David had finally had enough of her emotional drama and was going to ask her to leave. “Turn the truck off,” he said with a commanding voice. She was frozen though, frozen by her cycling emotions and the intense look in his eyes. She could see him as a police officer now, handling stressful situations with skill and a level head. Her body surged with feelings. Not fear though, desire, need, want, lust, love… but not fear. “I said turn the truck off,” he repeated and walked around to the driver’s side. He opened the door, his face blazed with a fierce desire that made her heart flutter so hard she didn’t know if she could take her next breath. “What do you want?” she asked slowly. “I think you know,” he replied, reached past her to the keys and shut off the ignition. “What are you doing?” Abbey asked, unable to hide the quiver in her voice. “Something I should have done ten years ago. Ten weeks ago. Ten hours ago. Ten minutes ago,” David said, his voice almost a feral growl. “Something I’ve been thinking about all these years and never had the balls to do. Until now.” He locked his eyes on hers, carefully unlatched her seat belt and picked her up. Her throat was clenched so tight she could
barely speak. Her body hummed with need and felt hot, like a fever where he touched her. The snow was falling faster by then and she let him carry her towards his house. They were both soaking wet and she began to shiver. She wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or her being unable to contain her feelings for him “What are we doing?” she asked again, almost unbelieving that it was finally happening. He set her on one of the stairs leading to his porch. “This,” is all he said, reaching for her blouse and unbuttoning it slowly. Her pulse quivered in her throat, a steady thread of need. His mouth kissed her bare chest, above her bra, and moved up her neck, across her rapid pulse, and to her lips again. This time there was no softness, only force. She felt as if this was it, he was claiming her and nothing else mattered. She wanted to be claimed, she wanted to be his. The snow came down harder, swirling around them like they were the lovers in the middle of a tacky sno globe you’d find in the local gift shop. It melted the moment it hit their heated flesh, they were getting soaked through and through. Abby didn’t care though, none of it mattered anymore. The only thing that existed for her was David, his lips and his beautiful eyes. He picked her up again when he noticed her
shivering. His lips barely left hers as he navigated the steps, kicked his door open, and crossed the living room to his bedroom at the back. Abbey was shaking so hard when he set her on the bed that he paused and looked down at her. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, and slipped her blouse off her shoulders. “I know,” she replied in a breathy voice. “I’m not scared, I’m excited.” “I will never hurt you,” he continued and bent to kiss her neck, “I’m not like him, I’m not Tom. I might be a bit rough around the edges, but I will never hit you and I will never hurt you.” “I know,” she said again and arched against him, “I trust you, I don’t know why but I do.” “You trust me because you know I love you, I’ve always loved you,” he said as he lowered her down onto the bed, still kissing her between his words. “I’ve loved you since the first moment you smiled at me in grade eight. I’ve loved you all this time, thinking about you and wanting you even though you were married and hundreds of miles away. You’re in my blood, and I can’t get you out no matter how many women I slept with. Every single one of them meant nothing to me because they weren’t you, and as horrible as that sounds, it’s the truth. Every time I slept with another woman, I felt like I was cheating on you, Abbey, because it’s always been you, only you. You’re the
only woman I’ve ever wanted.” “And now you have me, I love you too,” she said breathlessly, pulling him down on top of her. Somehow during all their declarations of love and kissing, they managed to pull off their boots and clothes until their naked bodies finally found each other at last. “You’re still shaking,” David said as they stood in front of each other, bared completely for the first time. “So are you,” Abbey smiled and noticed a slight trembling in his hands. It was amazing to see such a tall, muscular man shaking with his need for her. “I’ll start the fire,” he said and kissed her on the forehead. He drew back the thick feather comforter and Abbey slid underneath, pulling him with her. “I think we have enough heat here,” she replied and exhaled as his huge body settled on her. She loved the weight of him, the way his arms bulged as he carefully hovered above her, careful not to hurt her. He made her feel precious and valued, not like Tom. And as his mouth crashed into hers again, and he dropped down beside her, his leg hooked over her body, his hands everywhere all at once, Tom’s voice disappeared and he became a distant memory. With David in her life, there was no room for
Tom in her head. “I want to taste you,” he said, pulling away from their kiss. “I’ve wanted this for so long…” He kissed his way across her collarbone, to her breasts where he gently mouthed one while cupping the other and rolling her nipple in his fingers. “Oh…god…” Abby moaned slowly, overcome with the sensations of him mouth and hand on her sensitive flesh. He continued though, kissing across the gentle swell of her stomach, across her stretch marks that he kissed reverently, as if worshipping the body that had brought her children into the world. “You don’t have to,” Abbey breathed as she realized where his kisses were taking him. “I told you I’ve been thinking about this for years,” he replied, looking up at her from between her thighs. “I’m going to taste you, this pussy is mine.” Her body quivered at his declaration and she knew she did belong to him at that moment, her heart, her mind and now her body. She was David’s and he was hers. He continued his slow, lazy exploration of her body and nibbled and kissed his way to her throbbing heat. Abbey thought she was going to die when his lips reached her most intimate place. He was the first man to do this to her, and she was completely
unprepared for how exquisitely intimate the moment felt. His tongue darted out and found her clit immediately, Abbey gasped, threw her head back and bundled the sheets in her fingers, as if clinging to something to keep her from floating away. He sped up his movements against her tender flesh and Abbey felt something break free, the tension she’d carried in her body since leaving Tom was dissipating like smoke on the wind. He gripped her thighs and continued pinned her down as she began to thrash in response to his mouth and tongue. Her fingers ached from clutching the sheets and finally it felt as if a damn broke loose, her body shook and her voice cried out in a hoarse tone she didn’t even recognize. She felt like a new woman, she’d never had this kind of reaction to sex before and it had released something inside of her. She was powerful, she was beautiful, and she was good enough for a man like David. He slowly kissed his way back up her body, pausing on her trembling stomach, until he was at her lips. “That was…wow,” Abbey said in a whisper. “I’ve never felt like that.” David arched a brow and said, “Never?” “Never,” Abbey laughed and shook her head. “Is that what it’s supposed to be like.”
“Every time with me,” David replied with a smug confidence that didn’t bother her at all. If anything it turned her on ever more, knowing that he could deliver on that promise. “I’ll never stop wanting you. I’ll never stop pleasuring you.” “What can I do for you?” Abbey asked as she slowly regained focus after her shattering orgasm. “I want to please you.” She reached down and grabbed his shaft, it pulsed hot and hard under her touch. It was also bigger than she’d ever imagined and that pleased her in some fashion. Bigger than Tom’s by a country mile. “You can please me by laying back,” David replied and kissed her. She tasted herself on his lips and it didn’t freak her out as she thought it would, if anything she felt empowered that she’d marked him as hers and hers alone. She grazed his back with her nails and dug her fingers into his hips, desperately dragging him towards her. Still with his mouth on hers, he guided himself against her entrance and rested it there, throbbing against her swollen flesh. “This is it,” David whispered in a hoarse voice that was thick with emotion. “I’ve waited for this for so long, and here it is.” “Here were are,” Abbey replied and met his eyes with hers. She’d never felt like much of a
beauty with her mousy brown hair, pale blue eyes and tomboy body…but with David on top of her looking at her like that, she felt like a sex goddess. She felt loved and love overflowed from her heart making her feel powerful and magical and connected to the human experience. “I’ve been wanting this too. I never knew it until I got back, but I missed you as more than a friend all these years. I’m sorry I ever left you.” “I’m sorry I ever let you go,” he replied and kissed her forehead, looked at her again and slid his thick length into her waiting body. She gasped immediately, she was filled by him and she let herself draw him in. Their bodies fit perfectly together, as if they truly had been made for each other. “I love you,” she moaned and arched her back, wrapped her legs around him and dug her fingers into his back. “I love you so much I’m not even afraid of it. I’ll never be afraid of our love ever again, I promise.” “I love you too, my beautiful, perfect Abbey,” he growled and slid himself deep inside of her. She felt his muscles working under his skin as he advanced and retreated, a steady rhythm that was pushing her closer to another unbelievable orgasm, like waves on the shore. The swell in her mind finally grew great enough that she could no longer contain herself. She
crashed into her bliss, calling David’s name, her voice throaty and almost unrecognizable to her. She’d never made these sounds before, Tom had always wanted her quiet when he did his thing with her body. David encouraged her though, he dropped onto one elbow and whispered in her ear, “Come for me, Abbey. Scream my name, I love it when you scream my name.” “Oh David,” she exclaimed one last time before she exhaled and trembled underneath him. David slowed down and made love to her then, their bodies felt sinewy and sensual, flowing in and out of each other with tongues and touch and their sex. Abbey had never known it could be like that. She’d never known how beautiful the act of sex could be. She couldn’t believe she’d never experienced it like this, but was grateful that David was the one to teach her. “I want you to come again,” he said and their bodies moved together as if they’d done this a million times, as if they’d been constructed just for this one act of love. “I’m going to make you come.” His voice was David’s but not David’s. Abbey felt as if they’d stepped off the path and gone into the deep forest where all niceties of society were stripped away and they were left panting and
growling against each other like two feral beasts whose only purpose was to bond in their mutual pleasure. His voice was gruff and low, and yet she heard a vulnerability in it, as if being naked against her stripped him down to his basic parts and she was in possession of him entirely. As he was with her. She belonged to him, and even the sliver of memory with Tom felt like decades ago, in another lifetime. She felt a hot wave of shame roll through her, that she could have lain with Tom all those years disgusted her now. She belonged to David, and had forever. It passed quickly when he thrust hard and caught her off guard when he hit some spot inside of her she didn’t know existed until David. Until he found it and pushed her over a cliff into an ocean of pleasure. She gasped and writhed, dug her nails into David’s muscled back, and clung to him like her life depended on it. At that moment she felt as if did, as if next breath came from him, his essence entered her with each thrust and each swirling of their tongues. She could no longer contain herself, she threw her head back and squeezed her eyes shut as she plummeted into her overwhelming orgasm. “Look at me, Abbey,” David rasped and she
felt his body tighten up as he joined her. “Look at me when you come, when I make you come.” She lifted her head and opened her eyes. She fell into David’s violet ones and she truly knew their souls had joined as one with this coming together. He thrust deep inside of her one last time, she felt him explode as she did, pulsing and frozen in time, hanging on that moment, seemingly forever. And then time sped up, she drew in a deep breath and pulled him down to kiss as their bodies gave into the release and fell against each other. David stayed inside as he softened, rolled off her and whispered in her ear, “I don’t want to crush you.” “I like it though,” she replied shyly, “it makes me feel like I’m part of something, part of this world and your life.” “You aren’t part of my life, you are my life,” he said and brushed her damp hair off her forehead. “I wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for you.” Abbey closed her eyes at his gentle touch and soft voice and once again felt his love. There was nothing like it in the world, nothing like being in his arms, their bodies joined and their hearts pounding wildly in time with each other. “I love you,” she said in a voice that was more a sigh than words, “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”
And with that they stayed in each other’s arms and talked until David was ready to take her again. He never did leave her body, and it didn’t take long until he was able to slip deep inside again and take her to places she never knew existed. They were like that until well into the night, Abbey’s world grew bigger and more amazing with each passing moment and she wondered how she’d ever survived without his love at all. And she knew she’d never have to go without it again.
CHAPTER 12
D
avid’s mouth and tongue woke her up. She was having a dream about him going back down there, where her swollen sensitive clit somehow wanted more. When her eyes fluttered open, she found him between her thighs under the blankets devouring her like she was his morning delight. “Oh, I should shower first, doesn’t that bother you?” she protested and made a half hearted attempt to wiggle away. But oh, her body didn’t want her to wiggle away…Tom had been a weird sort about bodily fluids and smells and hair though, so she felt the smallest ripple of horror that David didn’t seem to care. He paused in his intense attack on her flesh, grinned up at her from under the covers where she held them up and said, “Nothing about you
bothers me.” And he continued. She pushed the covers down so she could admire her thighs framing his thick, dark hair and eager, sexy movements. He was skilled already, knowing her body like he’d spent hours between her legs instead of just one night. She woke completely as she came, his mouth taking her higher and his tongue driving her mad until she was panting his name in a harsh whisper and holding his head between her trembling fingers. He kissed his way back up her body and nibbled her ear until she had to slide on top of him and give him as much joy as he’d given her. In the quite moments after they’d finished, Abbey was collapsed on David’s broad, muscled chest and smiled against it. “You know I might never get out of bed again if this is how you wake me up every morning.” “I agree. Maybe we should retire young and live our lives in bed from this point onwards,” he laughed. “Would you miss your work?” “Not if I had you,” he replied and smiled as she kissed his stubbled cheek. “Then you have me.” “Then it’s settled,” he laughed and rolled her over onto her back to attack her with kissed and
nips until she was breathless from the way he made her feel. He stopped suddenly when her stomach growled. He stared at her in pantomimed fear and said, “Oh my god, what was that? We’d better get up soon or you’ll starve to death, my dear.” “I’d gladly starve in your arms,” Abbey said, trying to be silly and romantic but her stomach had other ideas. It gave a heaving gurgle that was much to loud to be ignored. Abbey gave David a stricken look of embarrassment, but he laughed loudly, got out of bed and helped her up. “I’ll make breakfast if you’ll help with the dishes from last night,” he told her and reached for one of his shirts for her to wear. “It’s a deal,” she said and slipped the tee shirt over her head. It was from a RCMP event and looked ridiculous on her, she thought. It went almost to her knees and was more of a dress than anything else. David’s eyes shone with lust when he raked them over her though. “Damn, I never thought I’d see a work shirt look so sexy.” “You’re just saying that,” Abbey replied with a blush on her cheeks, but part of her was very pleased with his observation. And she felt sexy around him, that was important to her now.
They got to work quickly, David cleared the table from last night’s forgotten dinner and Abbey, true to her word, got almost elbow deep in the hot, sudsy dish water to clean up. David sliced some bacon off the slab, brewed some thick, black coffee and scrambled some eggs with homemade toast. By the time Abbey finished dishes, her mouth was watering and she was ready to eat like a lumberjack. And she had a feeling David wouldn’t mind, he didn’t have that controlling, sharp edge to his compliments that Tom always had. He was sincere and so perfectly amazing that Abbey ached for him every time she looked at him even though he was sitting next to her. She wanted him even when he was a foot away. She wanted to be under him, with him inside of her, forever and as much as possible. She craved him like an addiction, and suddenly she could imagine herself doing anything to be with him, to stay with him. And although it scared her slightly, mostly it excited her that she was this in love and her heart had opened for the one boy she’d always loved in one way or another. As a best friend, a tentative sweetheart, a protector and rescuer, and now a lover. And in the future? Perhaps as a husband.
Only time could tell and Abbey’s insides felt fluttery thinking about it. After breakfast Abbey noticed the clock on the kitchen wall and said, “Oh, look at the time. Dad will be wondering where the hell I am.” David put his hand over hers and smiled a knowing smile. “He knows exactly where you are. He knows what I had planned.” “So what exactly did you have planned? I mean other than get me to bed,” she asked with a cheeky wink. “Well, get you to bed was definitely the first item on my list,” David replied, looking as if he was thinking hard. “Wait a minute, that was pretty much the only thing on it.” “Seriously,” Abbey laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder. “Why did you buy this place?” David’s gorgeous eyes locked on hers and he cocked his head. “Why do you think? Why would a confirmed bachelor like me spent a fortune to buy a family farm with a big family farmhouse and the perfect yard and property for kids to grow up on? Why could that possibly be?” Abbey’s heart flip flopped and she knew why, but she needed him to say it. “I don’t know,” she replied in a soft voice. “You know why. I did it for you. I’ve been working overtime in Piper’s Lake for the last
couple months, busting my ass for the down payment on this place. I want you, Abbey. I want you and the kids to move in and I want us to be a family.” As soon as he voiced the words, it was like a dam broke loose. Abbey felt tears fill up behind her eyes and they stung the back of her lids before flowing down her cheeks. She sobbed with freedom and relief, her life with David was finally happening, it would be complete. Once she got rid of Tom once and for all, she had to smooth all that over before she could be David’s wife. “Are you okay?” David asked, putting his arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” “You haven’t upset me,” she said, smiling through her tears, “I just feel like I’ve reached the end of a really long road. You’re giving me everything I always wanted, and even when I didn’t realize it, I’ve always wanted you.” David pulled her onto his lap then and kissed her tears away. “I will never make you cry again,” he promised her. “Our life together will be everything we want it to be, and more.” As her tears subsided and she began to think clearly, something popped into her head and she sat up straight and looked him in the eyes. “So you weren’t going down there to see your girlfriend?” He narrowed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “I
knew that would happen,” he said with a tone of disgust. “I stayed with my ex partner, Sue, when I was down there. I ran into Roland from the Polaris dealership one night when we were out for dinner a month or so ago. And as expected, it was spread all over town like wildfire.” “Sue?” Abbey asked with that awful flash of jealousy flaring inside of her. “Sue, yes, twenty years my senior, happily married and five kids Sue,” he laughed. “She really is just a friend. I’m sure you’ll meet her and her husband many times over the course of our life.” “I hope I do,” Abbey replied, her fiery reaction immediately quashed. David had that effect on her, he was so faithful and honest that she didn’t doubt his word. Especially now, after they’d been intimate with each other. “So when can you move in?” David asked, kissing her on the end of her nose. “I know the place isn’t fancy, but I think we could make it look really good with a little elbow grease.” “I think it would look amazing,” Abbey replied and frowned. “We need to take it slow though, for the kids. This is all new to them. I’ve known you forever so it’s comfortable for me, but I need to ease them into the idea that Tom won’t be in their lives that much, if at all.” “Of course,” David replied and frowned. “I didn’t even consider that, I guess I just figured I’d
have an instant family, just add water. I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize, I want this as much as you do,” Abbey said and kissed his cheek. “Maybe more even. You’re the antidote to the poison Tom filled me with, and I want to be with you.” “But the kids…” “Yes, but the kids,” she said and felt his arms tighten around her. “It will happen though, soon enough.” “And the minute your divorce papers go through, I’m going to ask you to marry me,” David replied and kissed her. She waited until they were finished and leaned towards his ear to whisper, “Spoiler alert, I will say yes.” They kissed a little more, cleaned up and went back to bed to pass the rest of their time together in each other’s arms. Abbey knew it was a place she wanted to be. It was a place she belonged.
CHAPTER 13
A
bbey drove sheepishly up the driveway to her dad’s house after leaving David. She’d helped him pick out paint colors and rearrange his new living room furniture, but she had to finally make it back to being a mom instead of a lover. He had to tow her out of the muddy grass, but it had frozen overnight so it was easier to break free. She enjoyed the silence of the new snow and wondered if the kids had been able to get outside at all to enjoy it. “Mom! Look what grandpa made me!” Sophie exclaimed as she strolled into the kitchen. Sophie was holding up a sling shot. She glanced at her dad who appeared to making one for Zach and raised one eyebrow. “Wow, that looks like fun,” Abbey replied. She
picked it up and examined it. “This doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before.” “It’s for snowballs!” Zach said in an excited tone. He was intently watching as Abbey’s dad finished it up. “Tada,” her dad finally said and held Zach’s up. Let’s get ready to test them out.” “It’s going to be dark soon and they have school,” Abbey said, unable to hold back from pointing out the obvious. “Just a few snowballs, please?” Sophie begged. “Fine, just a few.” She looked at her dad pointedly and he nodded in agreement. “I never thought you’d be the sensible one,” he chuckled, stood and helped the kids get dressed for the cold weather. We went out back, the kids tumbled down the stairs to the yard, and began rolling snowballs and launching them at each other while screaming and laughing. “You have a good evening?” her dad asked finally as they leaned on the back porch rail and watched them play. Abbey glanced at him but he didn’t meet her eye. “Yeah, I suppose I did,” she smiled. “It’s not every day you get to rewrite history,” he replied. “I suppose it’s not,” she said and dared him to look at her.
He turned at last and met her gaze. There was sadness there, and that surprised her. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I know I’ve said it before and god damned it, I love those kids of yours with all my heart. But I never should have let him take you. I never should have let him grind you down.” “It’s okay Dad,” she replied and linked her arm in his and looked up. “Everything happened for a reason and the important thing is that I’m right where I am supposed to be.” “Are you moving in with him?” he asked in a gruff tone. Abbey would have once taken that as a judgment, but with David’s love lightening her own critical inner voice, she realized what it was. He was worried they’d leave him again and he would be lonely. “Eventually,” she said and laughed as Sophie hit Zach square in the shoulder with a snowball. The two of them went rolling into the snow, fighting but laughing so Abbey knew they were fine. “Right now it’s about them, not David and I. They need to ease into this and we need to respect that.” “He’s a good man,” her dad replied. “He’s worth waiting for…and so are you.” “Thanks, Dad,” she replied and leaned against his shoulder. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so close to her father, after her mom had died he’d kind of closed up shop somehow. It
felt nice, having that reconnection again. They stood like that for a few moments until Abbey couldn’t take it anymore, and her nagging mom persona kicked in. “Okay you two, you need to get your homework done while I make dinner. And it’s bath night, so let’s get hopping to it.” They protested but followed her, their eyes bright with excitement and their cheeks rosy from the cold. She set them up at the kitchen table and began to make something for the family. She couldn’t help it, she thought she’d play cool and aloof, but the moment she washed her hands she reached for her phone to text David. Dinner’s in an hour. She smiled and set the phone on the counter, turned to pick out a roasting pan for the chicken legs, and by the time she turned back he had replied. See you soon. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away. Abbey laughed. It was so cliché, but so perfect coming from him. And like that David became an even more regular fixture at their dinner table and in their lives.
DAYS STRETCHED INTO WEEKS, and weeks stretched into their lives becoming so intertwined that she wasn’t sure if they were separate entities any longer. By December the kids sensed something was up, but Abbey refused to show affection in front of them or spend the night together if the kids weren’t left at her dad’s. David insisted on making it public though. And Abbey agreed, making it known around the town was way different than admitting to her children that they might possibly end up with David as a step dad. “Are you sure this dress looks okay?” Abbey asked for the tenth time as she adjusted the clingy red number once again. It wasn’t too bad below her hips, it flowed down to knee length, but she wasn’t used to anything hugging her curves and showing off her breasts like this. They were getting ready for David’s police Christmas party at the local Legion hall and she was feeling almost sick with nerves. They were at David’s place, although she was starting to think of it as their place since she’d been helping him paint, pick out furniture and get everything together. It was starting to look like a family already lived there. “That dress looks incredible,” David replied and walked across the bedroom to run his hands
down the front of her. “Only because you are incredible though, and if you keep asking me I’ll tear it off you and we’ll never make it to the party.” He kissed me deeply and I forgot about the dress all together. We did make it to the party a little late and my dress was only slightly rumpled. “I was starting to think you’d deserted me,” David’s partner, Fred said as he approached. “How nice to see you again. Abbey, is it?” “You remember Fred,” David said. “Yes, Abbey is my name,” she replied with a smile and shook his hand. “I do remember you.” “Is that the reason you were late?” Fred asked with a knowing look as he pointed at lipstick on David’s collar. Abbey went furiously hot in the cheeks and laughed nervously. “Probably.” “Yes, I’m not shy,” David said, “it is. She’s a ferocious little kitten.” “Lucky guy,” Fred winked. “I don’t think the missus has been ferocious since…” “Since I caught you eating an entire tub of ice cream after getting your diabetes diagnosis,” an older woman said as she came up to the three of them. Fred chuckled and put his arm around her shoulder, turned to David and Abbey and said, “David, you know Darla. Abbey, this is Darla…my
lovely wife.” “Happy to meet you,” Abbey said and was immediately relaxed as she began to speak with David’s friends and coworkers like she belonged with them, like she was welcome. David didn’t leave her side the entire night, if she didn’t have her hand on his arm, he had his arm around her shoulder making her feel safe and loved and secure. She’d never felt like that before and it gave her more confidence than she’d ever had in a crowd and she discovered she was more charming and funny than she’d ever thought. “You look good enough to take right here on the table,” David whispered in her ear as they picked out a few tasty things off the buffet. Abbey warmed immediately and leaned back into him. He kissed her neck and for a moment they were the only ones in the room. It didn’t last, one of David’s coworkers broke into their moment with some story about David’s first day on the job a few years back. Abbey tried to pay attention and laugh when appropriate, apparently David had mistaken a utility guy for a thief and had cuffed him by accident. But Abbey’s focus lay on David’s hand resting possessively on her lower back, his thumb tracing a soft pattern on her flesh through the fabric of her snug dress.
She was relieved when Jake, the coworker, moved down the table to load up his plate with desserts. “I love you,” Abbey said and leaned back against him again. “I love you too,” he said and brushed the hair off the back of her neck and kissed it. They made their way back to their table and joined Fred and Darla to drink a little and talk a lot. They made it through the entire event without incident, and for once in her life, Abbey belonged. On the drive home it was quiet, neither one of them spoke much, as if they’d both realized something had changed in their relationship. They’d become official somehow, being out in public and proud of their love had made it real. David pulled up in front of the house and parked closer than his usual spot. Abbey was sitting next to him when he got out and waited until he came around her side of the truck and opened the door. He held out his arms, picked her up and she slid into them as if it was second nature. “I can walk, you know,” Abbey smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Not in those shoes,” David replied and walked through the snow to the front door. The night was cold but it was clear. The stars sprinkled out across the sky like glittering diamonds on black velvet and their breath hung in the air as they exhaled.
Abbey tucked her head against his chest and remained silent, enjoying the warmth of his body and the crunch of his boots on the snow. He managed to open the front door with her in his arms and set her carefully down once they were inside. She heard him fumbling around against the wall, flip a light switch and the entire living room lit up with what seemed to be a million brilliant lights, like the stars outside had fallen to earth. “David, it’s beautiful,” she gasped and turned to see him standing, waiting for her. “You’re beautiful, this is just my sad attempt to show you how much you mean to me,” David said and held out his hand for her. She took it and followed him to the center of the room, the lights twinkling and adding a romantic glow to an already romantic moment. David picked up a remoted off the coffee table and clicked a button. Music streamed from the speakers and he took her in his arms. “This song is from high school,” Abbey laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder as they swayed to the slow beat. “This is the one and only time I took a chance with you,” David chuckled and pulled back enough to look down at her. “Do you remember?” “I do,” she smiled. “It was tenth grade, the spring fling dance. You asked me to dance.”
“I wanted to ask you to go with me, but I chickened out at the last minute,” he admitted sheepishly. “I was shaking when I asked you just to dance.” “I was already with Tom by then,” Abbey replied, looking down with her own sheepish feelings washing over her. “He was back in Calgary but even then he had a grip on my life.” “I should have fought for you,” David said and started to sway with the music again, holding her tightly against him. His voice thickened and he held his hand on the back of her neck as she pressed her face against his chest and listened to the beating of his heart match time with hers. “I’m sorry I let you go.” “You didn’t let me go,” she replied, “I was a stubborn bitch back then. I was ready to run the moment school was over, and there was nothing anyone could have done to keep me here.” “I feel like I let you down though, you lost your mom and your dad shut down,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “I should have been there for you more.” “There wasn’t anything you could have done, David,” she replied and closed her eyes to stop the tears from overflowing. “I was lost then, and lost when I came back…but you found me and that’s the most important thing of all. You rescued me when I needed it the most.”
“You saved me from myself,” David said and kissed the top of her head again. “I was this close to becoming a surly old bachelor.” “I’m sure there were more than a few women in town who would have cured you of that,” she grinned, but her heart was happy that he’d waited for her. She didn’t know what she would have done if she’d reconnected with him and he’d been married with a bunch of kids by now. It was strange, she’d felt lonely and missed something the entire time she’d been with Tom, but she’d never realized it was David. David, her friend and possible crush before Tom came along, but she hadn’t realized that David had been her everything. “None of them were you,” he said and the song came to an end. “And none of them will ever be you. This is our time now, you went away and brought back two amazing kids but this is for us, Abbey. We’re a family, and once it’s official nobody can break us apart.” Abbey opened her eyes and looked up at him, saw the raw emotion in his eyes and felt it in her own blood. They were together now, and there was nothing that could ever tear them apart. She had no words to offer him, so she reached up and pulled him down for a kiss, a seal of their love and their increasing bonds.
CHAPTER 14
C
hristmas came and went and although Tom’s parents sent boxes of presents a few days before, Tom had no contact with the kids at all. It wasn’t that Abbey wanted Tom to be in their lives, not with his messed up, violent toxic presence…but she didn’t know what to tell the kids when he didn’t even call. Abbey took on a few more hours at the Co-op to deal with the Christmas rush and save some money for gifts of her own. She felt pressure to make it all perfect considering this was the first one in their new life. David surprised her by suggesting they buy gifts together, and in spite of theirs being smaller and more humble than Tom’s parents’ mountain of toys, the kids appreciated them more.
They’d picked out a saddle for each of them, to encourage their riding and spending time together as a family. Even in the winter, David, Abbey and the kids were regularly taking time to head off across the fields on horseback. David had learned to ride extremely well over the years, something that Abbey noted with a smug sense of happiness. She suspected he’d learned to impress her one day, and he had succeeded. There was something about a hot man well seated on a gorgeous horse that just did it for her. Well, there was something about David with his tight jeans and cowboy boots that did it. She couldn’t imagine any other man on the planet looking as mighty fine as hers. Dinner had been at her Dad’s, and she’d snuck off to spend some hours with David the next day. When she’d gotten home, Sophie had put her hands on her hips and said, “Why didn’t you just bring David with you? We know that’s where you were.” “And now he’s going to come driving up in half an hour and pretend he just happened to pop in,” Zach laughed. “If your mom wants to have a private life, let her have it,” Abbey’s dad said and looked up at her. He gave her a little nod of approval, he liked David and understood their need to go slowly. New Year’s came without incident, David spent
his first night with the whole family but Abbey brushed it off explaining that David needed to stay up with them until midnight and it was too late to drive home. They sent the kids to bed after ringing in the new year with sparklers in the snow and sparkling apple juice before they tumbled into Abbey’s childhood pink frilly sheets. David had set his alarm and crept out before they were up, but they didn’t blink an eye at him being there for breakfast. Abbey finally decided that by March it was time to ‘fess up and admit they were dating. The only thing that was remarkable about it was the fact that the kids hardly reacted at all. “So you guys kiss and all that?” Sophie asked with huge eyes. David laughed. “I guess,” he said. “I do kiss your mom, I can’t help it, she’s very beautiful.” “Ewwww,” Zach said, making a gagging motion with his finger. “There’s nothing eww about it,” Abbey exclaimed with mock indignation. She glanced at David who had a look of amusement on his face. “So can we still go get some pizza?” Sophie asked after David and Abbey’s relationship had been established. “Yeah, you said something about pizza,” Zach added.
Abbey looked at David, he looked back with his eyebrows raised and they burst into laughter. “These kids, hey?” she said with a grin. “Yes, let’s go to town for something to eat,” David said with a smile to match hers. The kids scrambled outside into David’s extended cab truck and they headed to town, like any other regular family. Abbey hadn’t realized how horrible it had been with Tom until moments like this washed over her and filled her up with so much joy she thought her heart would burst. That night they had the pizza they had promised the kids, pepperoni with extra cheese, and ice cream cones at Dairy Queen. It was the night they would remember as being almost as good as two meals at McDonalds on their flight from Alberta, but even better because they’d gotten David in their lives, full time. In early April, Abbey got a call from her lawyer. As usual, Joanne didn’t have much to say about the situation beyond the fact that Tom refused to agree with anything Abbey wanted. “There’s no way I can force him to sign the papers?” Abbey asked, feeling her frustration clench her throat. “We can file with the court, but it will take a year,” Joanne replied. “It can be done, but if he’s not going to respond to any of our correspondence
and he’s got his parents’ lawyers in our way, then we have to take the long way around this problem.” “David and I want to get married,” Abbey said. “This is going to drive me insane.” “That’s Tom’s intention,” Joanne said, “he’s trying to keep you running around trying to figure out how to break the ties to him. He’s maintaining control even though you’ve left him.” “Then I guess we’ll do it the long way around,” Abbey sighed, “I’m not surprised by this, he’s been a psycho our entire marriage. I knew leaving him wasn’t going to be easy, and he’s more than proven that.” “Hang in there, you and David will have a chance to start your lives together. Love is worth waiting for,” Joanne smiled. “It will happen.” “Thanks for everything,” I said, “I can’t tell you how much you’re helping. Also, how much do I owe for this? You still haven’t given me a bill.” “Oh, David’s covering everything,” Joanne replied and pulled out a file folder. “I’m sorry, I have to get ready for the next appointment.” Abbey thanked her and left the office, crossed the street to the police station and waited until she was taken back to David’s office. “You paid my lawyer’s bill?” she asked as he shut the door. She took a moment to appreciate how good he looked in his uniform, the tight pants and the shirt
clinging to his broad chest and bulging arms. “I did,” he said and leaned back against the desk with his hands on the edge. “It’s our bill now, and I have some money saved up and there’s nothing else I’d rather spend it on.” “I can’t think you enough,” Abbey told him, looking around his office and noticing how private it was. The feelings of security and love David offered her manifested in her body as pure lust, that combined with how damned fine he looked in that uniform made her bolder than she normally was. She stood and made sure the door was locked, pulled down the blind and turned to him. “What are you doing?” he asked, but he knew by the look in his eyes. “I am going to thank you properly,” Abbey replied and stepped towards him, her hips swinging as she chewed her lower lip. “You don’t need to do that,” David replied and stood straight as she approached. “Then let’s call it a fantasy of mine, not a thank you,” she said and pressed up against him. “I don’t know…here…the office…” he said, looking nervously towards the door. “You saw me lock it, do you have a few moments free?” “I do. But you don’t have to, Abbey, I paid because we’re a couple, not because I wanted you to owe me.”
“Well judging by my count, I’m about five hundred orgasms ahead of you, so maybe I do owe you,” she said, her eyes glinting mischievously. She reached down for the buckle on his pants and his drew in his breath as she opened them. “Abbey,” he said breathlessly when she unzipped him and pulled him free. “David, let me do this.” She sunk down to her knees before him, as if in worship, and gave him her first blow job ever. Tom had never liked it, he always preferred hammering away at her, on top and in total control. Abbey felt powerful offering this to David, she felt like she was in total control of him and that thrilled her from her head to her toes. David wrapped his hands in her hair and held her steady as she took him into her mouth, paused until she could handle his thickness. She could feel his pulse through the flesh in her mouth and it fluttered along as quickly as hers. This excited her so much, not just the control of a man like David, but the thrill of discovery. Sex had always been so shameful, something done in the dark and not to be discussed. Tom hadn’t even wanted her to make noise or talk about their sex life after the fact. He’d wanted her submissive and compliant, when he wanted her at all. For the last year or so he’d been so consumed
with his affairs that he had barely made it to their bed, which had suited her just fine. But David, god, just the noises he made as she worked on him with her tongue and lips, even those were enough to almost bring her to orgasm. “Fuck, Abbey,” he groaned as she swallowed almost all of him, concentrating on not gagging and not giving up. He thrust forward and she relaxed her throat, proud of her newfound skill and ability to please David like this. She thought he might come, but he didn’t. She felt the muscles in his legs tighten up and he trembled with his need, but he didn’t come. “Get up here,” he growled with a forceful tone that both excited her and made her a little nervous. He sounded angry, and angry generally scared the hell out of her…but this was David, David would never hurt her so the nerves dissipated the moment he lifted her up to him for a kiss. “I love seeing you down there, but I need you like this,” he said in a harsh tone. His mouth was fierce and hungry and covered hers as he lifted the hem of her dress and hiked it up to her hips. “Bend over,” he ordered, I want you on my desk.” He spun her around and she was breathless by the time she laid across his desk and gripped the edge on the other side. He pushed her dress up farther, dragged her panties down to her knees and positioned himself behind her.
“Tell me you want me,” David said, and his rough voice with him in his police uniform added to the anticipation of the entire situation. All Abbey’s nerves were long gone by then and she was ready to burst even before he slammed into her and rasped, “Talk to me, tell me you’re mine.” “I’m yours,” she said in a hiss as he slid himself in from behind and she could feel each agonizingly exquisite inch. She wanted to scream it, but there were people right outside and it would be so obvious what was going on in there. “I’ve been yours forever. Make me come, David, make me yours.” He withdrew slowly until she was squirming and gripping the edge of the desk in excruciating bliss. David reached the point where he was about to slip out, he gripped her hips and slammed into her, rocking her against the desk and forcing her to bite the sleeve of her cardigan to keep from crying out. He was furious and intense, the silence only broken by the staccato slap of skin on skin, and Abbey came so hard she thought she might pass out. As she was in the height of her orgasm, ready to crash, David stiffened up and finished deep inside of her. She could feel him pulsing his release and she panted her own explosive shockwave. She could hear people passing outside in the
hallway and again she felt thrilled by the illicit sex in David’s office. David loosened his hold on her hips and relaxed his body. He ran his hands along her back and exhaled slowly, a sound of pure satisfaction. He pulled Abbey up off the desk and turned her around, they adjusted their clothes and David tightened his belt. He looked down at her with a smug grin. “Now that was unexpected.” “And unbelievable,” Abbey replied, smoothing out her hair and reaching up to brush lipstick off David’s cheek. “I guess I need to say thank you for letting me have my fantasy. I mean, I just realized it was a fantasy of mine but it was amazing.” “Thank you for starting out my lunch hour with a bang,” he chuckled. She looked him up and down again, let her eyes move up to his, and said, “Speaking of which, where shall we go to eat?”
CHAPTER 15
“M
om, these boots aren’t going to work,” Sophie complained and kicked her foot out, showing Abbey her little pink cowboy boots. It was the last week of June and they were getting ready for the town’s annual rodeo. They’d been practically living full time with David for over a month now, and he was finally experiencing the joys of dealing with getting two kids together for a family event. Sarcasm of course, Abbey was grateful to share the burden with somebody else, but in the grand scheme of things they really were good kids. Just frustrating. “All done,” David announced and lead Zach into the living room where Abbey exclaimed and held her hand to her mouth in shock. He looked so
grown up and was a spitting image if her father. “I thought you said this would be difficult.” Abbey glared at David and shook her head, and rolled her eyes. He laughed and sat next to Sophie on the couch. “You look great,” Abbey told Zach, “just like a little cowboy.” “Is grandpa ready to load up our horses? Should we go help him?” Zach asked. “In about ten minutes, right after I brush out Sophie’s tangled mess and force it into a braid,” Abbey replied. “Sophie, why won’t these boots going to work?” David asked. “I think they look cute.” “They’re the wrong color of pink. They’ll look terrible with the pink on Pepper’s bridle,” Sophie said. “I think they’ll look fantastic, and you’ll be moving so fast nobody will even notice,” David said. “Now hand me that brush and we’ll work on your hair before your mom’s head explodes.” David raised his eyes to hers and motioned for her to go get ready in the bedroom. She hesitated for a moment, assessed the situation and remembered it was David, he had her back, he was her support. She pulled on her jeans, did up her cowgirl shirt and slid into her cowboy boots. She looked at herself in the mirror and appraised her appearance.
She looked good. She wasn’t a vain kind of woman, any belief that she was beautiful had been stamped out by Tom’s words and fists years ago, but she was surprised to realized she looked good. David made her feel good, being away from Tom had been good for her overall sense of self and she liked the way her clothes hugged her hips and curves, she was proud of them in a strange way. She’d put on weight, but she carried it well and David clearly didn’t mind anything about her, he couldn’t get enough. She did a light amount of makeup and thought she did pretty good for somebody who basically never wore it. When she walked back into the living room she found Zach sitting behind his sister carefully braiding her hair while David got into his uniform jacket. “You look incredible,” he said as looked up and noticed her. “Wow, I wish I wasn’t working, I’d love to take you to the barn dance and show you off.” “You’re just with me for arm candy?” she asked with a pleased grin. “That and more,” he chuckled and reached out for her hand, pulled him towards him and kissed her forehead. “Gross, you guys kiss too much,” Sophie complained but she had a cheeky grin on her face
as she said it. “I’ll never stop kissing your mom,” David told her. “Even when we’re a hundred years old on the front porch in our rocking chairs, I’ll be kissing her every chance I get.” “Now that’s gross,” Zach said as he finished the braid and snapped the hair tie around the end. “Old people shouldn’t be kissing anybody.” “You’ll be changing your tune when you’re old, I promise you that,” Abbey said and looked at Sophie. “Good job on the braid by the way, when did you learn to do that?” “From my horse,” he replied with a proud smile, “Grandpa taught me how to braid his tail to make it look really nice when we’re competing today.” “Are you guys ready to go? We should get this show on the road, you need to check in by noon,” David said. “Okay, off we go!” Abbey exclaimed and felt her stomach quiver in anticipation. David had to work tonight, but he could spend a few hours with them at the rodeo and fair. Both kids were competing in the barrel racing event, Abbey had been surprised, the barrels were usually considered a girl’s sport, but it was open for anybody under the age of twelve. Her dad had been working with both kids on all events, but they weren’t ready for much else. And
no matter how progressive Abbey felt she was, she couldn’t stomach the thought of either of them riding bulls or broncs like their father. The risk for injury was too great to put her kids through that. They drove to her dad’s house where he already had the trailer hooked up to his truck. He helped the kids load their horses and tack, and they were ready to go. “Can we ride with grandpa so we can watch our horses?” Zach asked Abbey. “Of course, we’ll follow you,” Abbey replied. David pulled his truck behind the trailer and they started into town. “I’ve never seen them so happy,” Abbey said and slid across the seat to sit next to David. “It makes me feel good about everything, I wish I hadn’t stayed with David so long, but I think everything is working out well now.” “I think it all happened exactly how it was supposed to,” David said and looked down at her hand on his thigh. “Although I could use a few extra minutes right now to drive down one of the side roads and bend you over the hood of my truck.” “Oh god, me too,” Abbey sighed. “Damn it, we don’t have time though.” “I know, but just wait until I get home tonight,” he said and flashed her his killer smile with heat rising in his gorgeous violet eyes. “My shift ends at
two in the morning, I’ll come home straight away.” “And I’ll be waiting,” she replied and squeezed her hand on his thigh, letting him know how much she needed him…as much as he needed her. It was sometimes strange to be in love with a police officer, she hated shifts like tonight where the danger to David would increase with all the drunks and rowdy people in town for the big event. She did her best to not let it get to her though, he was so perfect at his job she couldn’t ever suggest he give it up. It would just be an adjustment on her part but she would get there eventually. And him looking so damned hot in his uniform certainly made it easier on her. And it didn’t hurt that he made her feel so secure, and the respect he got around town was empowering. For the first time in her life Abbey felt as if she fit in, the town saw her as David’s woman and she earned her own respect because of it. She’d gone from the shadows, both as a teenager and as a married woman, to being proud of herself, her family and her lover. They pulled into the rodeo grounds and were waved through to follow her dad. “I had no idea there would be this many people,” she said, her head swiveling around at the huge crowds milling about. “It’s really grown since a couple other rodeos
shut down,” David explained. “We’re officially the biggest amateur rodeo in western Canada.” “Wow, I hope it doesn’t freak the kids out.” “Probably not as much as you,” David chuckled. “You look scared, like you’re the one performing.” “I feel like I am. I haven’t felt like this in years, not since my high school glory days,” Abbey said as they pulled to a stop behind the horse trailer. Abbey stood back with David and let her dad and the kids get their horses set up in portable stalls next to the trailer. It was as if they’d been doing it their entire lives, they’d taken to riding and rodeo like the proverbial fish to water. “Can we go to the fair now?” Zach asked as he ran up to David and Abbey. “You can take them over there while I get them registered,” her dad said, nodding towards the whirling rides and bunches of people were gathering. “Are you sure? Do you want to meet us over there?” David asked him. “See in you in a few,” her dad replied as they began to walk towards the scents and sounds of the carnival. “I want to go on all the rides,” Sophie said and ran ahead. Zach caught up with her and grabbed her hand protectively.
“I never thought I’d see him taking care of her,” Abbey mused and hooked her hand in David’s arm. “See? The change has been good for you,” David said. “It’s been good for all of you.” “I can’t argue with that.” They bought the kids all day ride passes and Abbey introduced David to the experience of basically running ragged after children as they hopped from one bright thing to the next. “How are you able to keep up?” David asked at one point after the kids had played a darts game and wanted to immediately ride on the Ferris wheel…again. “It’s takes practice, don’t worry, you’ll get there,” Abbey laughed. “I have the advantage of being with them since they were babies. It’s like the boiling frog thing, where a frog doesn’t notice when the water heats up slowly. You, my froggy friend, have been tossed into the middle of a boiling pot.” “And I wouldn’t want it any other way.” “Have you thought about having children of your own?” Abbey asked out of the blue and almost covered her mouth with her hand when she said it. The words just slipped out, she hadn’t realized the implication of them until it was too late. They watched the kids climb onto the ride and David stood behind her, enveloping her in his
embrace. “I’ve thought about you having my baby,” David said in her ear in a lustful tone. “I’ve thought about you growing big with our child and watching you care for it while we loved it together. But here’s the thing Abbey, I think of Sophie and David as mine already. I might just be their step dad when we get married, but I’m ready to commit my life to them as well. Anything I can offer you or our child, I will offer them. I swear this to you.” Abbey felt heat race through her body and tears prick her eyes as she looked up at her children, the ones with Tom who she’d only recently saved, laughing and waving on the Ferris wheel. The heat was pure love, pure joy and the intensity of being claimed by a man like David. He would take her, but he would take her family too. He would protect them all. “Thank you,” she replied and wiggled around to kiss him even as the crowds gathered and people could see them right out in the open. There was nothing to hide about their love, and she wasn’t about to hold back just because they were in town. “I thought I’d run into you here, you fucking whore,” a deep, angry voice said from behind them. Abbey broke away from David and scanned the people behind her. It had been Tom’s voice, she was sure of it. “Who was that?” David asked, joining her
search for the origin. “Who do you think it was, Lizzie?” Tom asked and stepped out from behind a booth, his face curled into an arrogant sneer. Abbey screamed and threw herself into David’s arms, her heart pounding in fear as the bottom dropped out of her world.
CHAPTER 16
“A
bbey, get behind me,” David commanded and she obeyed, her fear turning her into an automaton. “What are you doing here, Tom?” “What do you think, Lizzie?” Tom replied, “I’m here for the rodeo. The money’s pretty decent for such a little shit town.” “This is an amateur event,” David said, “I thought you were some big shot now.” “It’s not for me, it’s for Candy,” Tom said and looked past them. “Oh there she is now, over here sweetheart.” A young, thin blonde with the tightest Wranglers Abbey had ever seen came hopping over and jumped into Tom’s arms. “All signed up, baby,” she squeaked and kissed Tom long and hard. She couldn’t be more than
twenty, barely out of her teens, and Abbey noticed the ghost of a bruise on her neck. She shuddered at the thought of Tom doing the same thing to a new woman as he’d done to her. “Good,” Tom said and turned back to the two of them and locked his eyes on Abbey. “Where are my kids?” Abbey’s eyes widened and flitted upwards towards the Ferris wheel. She hated that she couldn’t control her reaction and cringed as Tom followed her gaze. “There they are,” Tom smirked with an evil glint in his eyes. “They’ll be thrilled to see me, especially once I tell them how you’ve been keeping me from them.” David stepped towards Tom and said, “You need to go through our lawyer before you see those damned kids.” “Your lawyer? Do I sense a little lovey dovey vibe here?” Tom said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. David put his arm around Abbey protectively and said, “Yeah, I stepped up when you couldn’t.” “You’re taking over for me?” Tom snickered. “You couldn’t close the deal with Abbey way back then, and now you’re taking over? You needed me to make the kids for you because you’re too much of a pussy to do it yourself?” Abbey felt David tense up and saw his hands
turn to fists. “Shut the hell up, Tom,” she said, “stop trying to goad David into punching you. You’re less than half the man he is, and you’ll never amount to anything. I left you because you were destroying my children and I didn’t know if I’d survive the next beating.” “Prove it, bitch,” Tom snarled. “Show me a single photo or police report and I’ll say I’m sorry. You’ve got nothing though, you can prove shit.” “Sounds like your lawyers talking,” David said, his voice calmer and more in control. “Does Abbey have you running scared? Worried you might have to pay child support? Well don’t worry about that, the kids are fine with us. We don’t need a dime.” “Tom, baby, let’s go,” Candy whined and hung onto Tom’s arm. “You can see your kids later.” “Piss off, Candy,” Tom snapped and jerked his arm away. “Go do your thing, sweetheart, and I’ll catch up to you later.” “I don’t want to,” Candy replied, “and I don’t wanna meet your brats.” Abbey stiffened up at that and narrowed her eyes. “Take your girlfriend out of her, Tom,” she said in a dangerous voice. She stepped forward out of David’s protective embrace and continued. “They don’t need to see you, call our lawyers and we can arrange something. Otherwise stay the hell away from us.”
“Listen to her,” Candy said, “let’s go.” Tom shoved her away and turned towards her. “Get the hell away from me. Let me handle my shit alone.” Candy looked stricken and out of the corner of Abbey’s eye she saw the Ferris wheel slow and start letting riders off. “Why don’t you go with Candy and I’ll text you later to set up a meeting?” Abbey asked, her eyes watching for Sophie and Zach to jump down from the ride. She didn’t want the kids to see their dad like this, and she didn’t want them to meet Candy. It was going to be stressful enough as it was, if she could get her dad to help her oversee a short visit, then Tom might settle down. Candy tugged at Tom’s shirt and Abbey wondered what she’d ever seen in him. He was tall and lanky and decent looking on the surface, but just underneath was a mean streak that almost bubbled as he simmered, glaring at her. She hadn’t been able to see it back then of course, but now she was alarmed at how obvious it was. Anybody with two brain cells to rub together would be able to tell Tom was a control freak and an asshole. Of course that was why he still preyed on young, vulnerable women. She was disgusted by it now, but she still needed to play nice so he’d sign the divorce papers.
Tom glowered and David stood closer to Abbey. She glanced back and noticed the kids were the next seat to exit the ride, so she stared Tom down and demanded he reply. “So what is it?” “Come on,” Candy begged. “Fuck you all,” Tom snarled. “Text me by three or I’ll fucking find you.” With that he turned, grabbed Candy’s hand and dragged her behind him, half walking and half stumbling behind him. “Mom! David!” Sophie yelled at them as they got out of their seats. “That was so much fun, we could see everything from up there!” Abbey smiled but didn’t know how to ask what exactly they’d seen, she worried they’d caught her arguing with Tom. “That’s cool,” David said and tousled Zach’s hair. What ride do you want to try out next?” “The bumper cars!” Zach said, grabbing Sophie’s hand and taking off across the fair. Abbey and David held hands and tried to keep up. “That was rough, how are you feeling?” David asked as they walked. “I feel a little sick,” Abbey replied, leaning against David while they stood and watched her kids line up for the cars. “That was unexpected and horrible.” “Will you be okay seeing him later? I’ll be on
duty by then.” “I’ll get Dad to come along with us. I feel like we need to do this, we’re playing nice so hopefully he’ll sign the papers and leave us alone after this.” “I would love that,” David said and kissed her quickly. They pulled apart and watched Sophie and Zach climb into the car. “You know I still want to marry you,” David said quietly and squeezed her hand. “I can’t wait to be Abbey Edwards, then I’ll finally feel like my past is behind me and I’ve made up for my stupid mistakes,” Abbey replied and squeezed his hand back. “We should get over to the horses,” David said, looking at his phone. “Their event starts in just over an hour, we should get ready.” Abbey called the two of them over when they got off the ride, told them it was time to go and the four of them walked back towards the trailer. Abbey glanced around furtively, jumpy with the feeling that Tom’s eyes were on her, burning into her as they made their way back. She hated that he was here and prayed he’d get bored enough that he would go back to Calgary with Candy, sign the papers, and be out of their lives forever. “Grandpa, you were supposed to find us,” Zach said as they found her dad brushing the kid’s horses. “You should have seen all the rides we
went on!” “I got caught up in line, there are a lot of people here,” her dad said, “don’t let that get to you though, you guys are both doing so well you’ve got this.” “Thanks, grandpa,” Zach said, but he looked a little unsettled. “You’ll do great,” David said and tilted Zach’s hat back a little. “You’re a natural on your horse.” “Thanks,” Zach said and his anxiety seemed to dissipate at David’s encouragement. “I think Sophie’s gonna do really good too.” “How could you not? You’re my kids, “Abbey grinned. “Anything you do in the rodeo is going to be awesome.” Abbey helped them brush and tack up their horses, and during that time they heard the rodeo grand entrance as the whole event began. Abbey felt nervous for them, she was proud of how far they’d come with their riding and love of horses, but accidents happened all the time in rodeo. Before they knew it, the junior barrel event was called for line up and Abbey’s stomach flip flopped as her nerves kicked into overdrive. “I love you guys!” she called to them as they rode away with her dad leading the way. She watched them carefully move through other riders until they were out of sight, her two babies growing
up before her very eyes. “Are parents allowed behind the arena?” Abbey asked, distracted by her conflicting emotions. She was so proud and so freaked out at the same time. “We’ll have to watch from the family section in the stands. We do get a better view from up there,” David said and put his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.” “I know, but you know, it’s hard to let them do something that could be dangerous,” Abbey replied and they walked slowly to the stands where she could watch them compete for the first time. She didn’t need to worry, David held her hand the entire time, but after Sophie’s cloverleaf run through the barrels, she relaxed and then after Zach’s run, she was standing up and cheering with him. “That was amazing!” she yelled and jumped up and down. “They were amazing!” “I told you they’d be amazing,” David chuckled and kissed her forehead. “You’re amazing, of course your kids are amazing.” “I feel like we’re using that word a little too much,” Abbey laughed. She felt David’s phone buzz in his pocket and stepped back. He pulled it out, glanced at it and said, “Dammit, I have to get to work. I’ll be back here shortly though, I’m patrolling the grounds for the first couple hours of my shift. And then when
I’m off, I’ll head right back home and climb into bed and show you just how amazing life can be.” “I’ll take amazing in that context,” Abbey replied and kissed him quickly as the announcer called the line up for the next even. David tugged at her hand and helped her down the stairs, they kissed again at the bottom and he left her there watching his fine ass walk away in his tight pants. “Lucky girl,” and older lady winked as she walked past Abbey. Abbey laughed, “Thanks,” she called out, turned and went to find her family. “Did you see me?” Sophie yelled as Abbey approached. “I was so fast!” Neither Sophie or Zach had made any ribbons but the grins on their faces was enough for Abbey. It was enough for her dad too, who was in a celebratory mood for once. Abbey remembered him grumbling about wasting money on the carnival when she was growing up, but now he seemed willing to spend as much as he needed in order to keep his grandkids happy. They got the horses brushed down, fed and watered and her dad said, “I’ll meet you over there, I’ve got to get a few things from my truck.” Abbey nodded and she and the kids headed back to the fair. They were still wearing their ride wristbands, and it was starting to get a little towards
sunset so the rides were starting to light up and Abbey felt a quiver of excitement. “This is gonna be fun,” she said and walked just behind Sophie and Zach. “We can stay here a few hours, maybe get some corn dogs and poutine for dinner.” “Really? Nothing healthy tonight?” Zach asked. “Nothing at all, I promise. This only happens once a year so let’s pig out on greasy food and sugary treats.” “Yay, this is the best day of my life!” Sophie giggled. Abbey felt a chill move through her and she shivered. She sensed somebody watching them and scanned the crowd for Tom. She was sure it was Tom. She didn’t spot him, the kids looked at her questioningly, and she shook it off. She followed them through the people, the crowds were getting thicker the farther into the fair they went. “I can’t believe you put my son in a pussy event,” Tom’s voice slithered through the air and Abbey suppressed a gasp. She whirled to find him standing right behind her, his eyes blazing and his breath reeking of booze. He’d been drinking, and Abbey knew what that meant. He was dangerous and she had to talk him down from the intentions that showed in his eyes.
Intentions to hurt her again, and she couldn’t let that happen. “I don’t know what you mean,” Abbey replied, staring up at him, trying to focus all her newfound strength and anger back at him. “You put him in a fucking girl’s class, barrel racing? No son of mine is going to ride like a fucking woman,” Tom slurred. “Leave her alone!” Zach yelled and burst around Abbey to stare up at his dad. He threw a punch that landed on Tom’s stomach. “My little pussy’s got balls,” Tom chuckled and grabbed Zach by the wrists. “Leave him alone! Let him go!” Abbey screamed and ignored the crowd that was slowly gathering around them, watching the excitement. “I’m taking him back to my trailer to teach him how to fight like a real man. I never should have let you take him, you stupid bitch,” Tom snarled. One of his big hands encircled Zach’s wrists and he reached up with the other one to slam Abbey in the face. She went down like a ton of bricks, blood spurting from her nose as she gasped for air. Sophie dropped to her knees beside her mom and started to cry. Out of the corner of her eye Abbey saw somebody moving quickly. Before she could react, her dad drew back his
fist and hit Tom squarely in the face. He didn’t stop though, Zach fell to the ground and her dad kept pummeling her ex husband while Abbey screamed.
CHAPTER 17
“B
reak it up, break it up, god dammit,” a voice came cutting through the crowd. People parted as Abbey slowly stood up on shaky legs. David pushed through, looking like a modern day super hero in his police uniform. “David, thank god!” Abbey cried out. David jumped into action and dragged Abbey’s dad off Tom and held him in his huge arms. “Settle down, Pete,” David ordered as her dad struggled against David’s hold. Tom staggered to his feet and held his hand to his face. “What the fuck, Pete? Keep your hands off me or I’ll kick your ass, old man.” “Come at me, you worthless piece of shit,” Abbey’s dad snarled. “Settle down you two,” David commanded. “I don’t want to take you both in.”
“You can’t take me in, he attacked me,” Tom said. “He was grabbing Zach,” Abbey said, “Dad was protecting us.” “Is this true?” David asked Tom. “I was taking my son to my trailer, nothing illegal about that,” Tom replied. “Arrest him, David!” Abbey exclaimed. “You know what he’s like!” “He’s got a point,” David said sullenly. “Dammit, Abbey, Zach is his kid. You don’t have a legal custody order, there’s nothing I can do.” Abbey’s dad jerked out of David’s grip and swung at Tom again, slamming his meaty fist into Tom’s arrogant face. Abbey took great pleasure seeing the smug smirk wiped off Tom’s face but she knew it wasn’t good for her dad to attack… especially not in front of a crowd. David pinned his hands behind his back and said, “I’m sorry Pete, but you leave me no choice.” He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and slapped them on Abbey’s dad. “What are you doing?” Abbey shrieked at David. “My job, Abbey. We can talk about it after my shift.” “You can’t do this, Tom is the problem,” Abbey insisted. “Let him do his job,” Tom sneered, “he wants
to play tough guy in his Halloween costume, then let him do it.” “I’ll take you in too, Tom,” David said with a low voice. “Just tempt me and you’ll see how far this costume can get me.” “I’m doing nothing,” Tom said, putting his hands up mockingly. “I’ll be going now. But Abbey, I’ll talk to you later. We still have a lot to go over.” Tom stepped back a few steps and his evil eyes glittered as David tugged at Abbey’s dad, indicating him to follow. “You can’t do this,” Abbey repeated. “This is bullshit, David.” “I’ll take him in overnight and I’ll lose the paperwork in the morning,” David said as he leaned close to her and pleaded with his eyes for her to drop it. Abbey wouldn’t. She was so upset over the whole thing that she couldn’t let it go, having Tom terrify her and then David taking her dad away triggered something deep inside of her. “Fuck you,” Abbey snarled. “This is wrong. You know this is wrong.” “I have to do my job,” David repeated. “Let him take me,” her dad said. “I deserve it, I let my temper get away from me.” “You protected us,” Abbey said, “which is more than I can say for David.” She knew she scored a direct hit with that one
when she saw David wince. She was pleased that she had hurt him, her anger so clouded her judgment that she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t stop even if she wanted to. “You’re pathetic,” she snapped, staring at David. “You know what he did to me and you didn’t do a thing to stop him. You stood there hurting my dad while Tom got his way.” “I have to do my job,” David said and glanced around at the people surrounding them. “You know who I am and you know what I do. I can’t break the rules for you or your family, no matter how much I love you.” “Then what the hell good is it to have you in my life? I need protection, I don’t need rules or a job,” she said, her breath hitching in her throat. “If you choose rules over me, then you’ve made your choice pretty clear.” “It’s not like that,” David said, “You know that’s not how it is. Fuck, let me take your dad in and I’ll call you as soon as I can.” “I won’t pick up. You made your bed, now you can lay in it,” Abbey glowered, grabbed the kids and dragged them away into the crowd. “Mommy, where’s David taking grandpa?” Sophie wailed while Zach glared at everyone and everything. “He’s doing his job, Grandpa hit your dad so he has to go with David,” Abbey replied, her gritted
teeth probably telling the kids more than she had intended. “Are we going on more rides?” Zach snapped. “Not now. We need to get your horses loaded up and take them back to Grandpa’s.” “I want more rides. What about junk food dinner?” Sophie complained. “This sucks, this isn’t fair,” Zach grumbled. Abbey felt like she had back with Tom, when the kids were smaller and she was too scared to explain their situation to them. She was helpless to articulate how this entire event had made her so sick to her stomach and so panicked that she couldn’t think straight. She knew on some level that David was just doing the right thing, that he was an honest, hard working man who was only following the rules to protect everyone, including himself. She understood how much his job meant to him, and normally she would never want to put it at risk, but today everything felt as if it had fractured. Her soft, happy world had turned over and was now jagged edges and sharp pieces that she no longer recognized. She ignored the kids, which probably made it worse, and silently loaded the horses into the trailer, packed up all the tack and panels, and drove out of the rodeo grounds in an almost fugue state. It wasn’t until she was half way back to her
dad’s place that she felt like crying. And it wasn’t until she passed the spot on the road where her old truck had broken down and she’d reunited with David again that the tears squeezed out from under her lids and rolled down her cheek. The kids were silent in the back seat, so they didn’t notice as her adrenaline eased off and she realized she’d thrown a tantrum for nothing. Sure she’d been upset that Tom had walked away as usual, but that was Tom’s fault, not David’s. He’d always been so clever at bucking the system and wiggling out of legal issues with his charm and ability to hide his dark side. David knew all about Tom, but it wasn’t up to him to rescue Abbey. She came to that conclusion as they pulled into her dad’s driveway, the sun setting in the distance and the barnyard lights flickering on in the dusk. “How about we unload these horses and head back into town for some pizza?” Abbey asked brightly, maybe too brightly. Zach and Sophie would know she was overcompensating for something. They didn’t reply, so she shut off the engine and walked around to the back to unload the horses. Neither one of them got out of the truck to help her, she glanced inside and saw their pouty faces and couldn’t deal with it just then so she kept busy packing everything into the barn.
When she was done, she walked around to the cab of the truck again, opened the door and said, “Come on you guys, you can’t hate me forever.” “You ruined our night,” Zach said. “Yeah, you promised junk food and fun and then you just took us home. I hate it here,” Sophie added. “I think you know who ruined it,” Abbey said. “I know you guys must be going through a lot of crazy emotions right now, but I can’t help what your dad did. He decided to grab Zach and scare me bad enough that I had to come home.” “You should beat him up,” Sophie pouted, but Zach clued in and reached out to touch her arm. “I’m sorry my dad is such a jerk to you,” Zach said and looked down in shame. “And I’m sorry I didn’t help you all those times he did things to you.” “Oh sweetie, don’t you dare apologize for that,” Abbey said and dragged her son into her arms for a hug. “I’m sorry I stayed long enough for you to see all that. We should have moved out here years ago.” “That would have been nice to have David as my Daddy,” Sophie smiled and edged her way into the hug. Abbey felt the tension leave their bodies and she held them until she felt like all was going to right in their world again.
“It’s getting so late, maybe we should have an upside down day instead of pizza,” Abbey said and they headed towards the house. “You mean breakfast for dinner?” Zach asked. “Yup, I’ll make pancakes,” Abbey replied and both kids cheered. She was too exhausted to drive all the way into town, but somehow making pancakes at her dad’s place seemed like the right thing to do. She thought about going over to David’s house, it was practically their place now too, but he didn’t have a nice big cast iron skillet like her dad and she decided they could go back there after they ate. And then when David got off shift, Abbey could apologize and make it up to him. That was the best thing about David, after all, the making up after any small argument they ever had. She opened the front door and stepped inside, flicked the switch and jumped when the room lit up in brightness. Tom waiting for her in her dad’s old leather chair. “Hello, family,” he said with a smile like a snake. His eyes were dead and he stood slowly, as if uncoiling like a viper. “Just in time for us to have a nice talk about getting back together.” “How did you get in here?” Abbey gasped and put her hands on Zach and Sophie’s shoulders
protectively. “Where’s your truck?” “I parked it behind the barn, I knew you wouldn’t look there. I know you, dear wife, and I knew you’d be distracted by Lizzie’s betrayal. And come on, how else would I get in? Your old man doesn’t have anything valuable enough to protect, so he left his door open.” “Leave us alone!” Sophie yelled and shivered in fear behind Abbey’s leg. “Go away!” “Why would I go away?” Tom grinned, “I’m here to bring you home. You’re my family, and I will never let you go.” He laughed out loud and pulled a gun out of his pocket, waved it around and kept laughing until that was the only thing that filled Abbey’s head.
CHAPTER 18
A
bbey stirred milk into the pancake batter and let her eyes nervously dart to the table where Tom was holding the gun and talking to the kids. Neither one of them was saying much, their eyes were on the gun as much as Abbey’s were. She hated that this was their world now, part of her regretted ever leaving him because he now dragged their children into it. At least when she was home and acting as his punching bag, it was all taken out on her and the children were left alone. Now that he felt betrayed by all three of them, he lumped them together with her and his violent vitriol spilled over, dragging them into his simmering anger. “Who wants the first one?” Abbey asked in a cheerful voice, she hoped Tom didn’t notice how
her teeth were gritted and she could barely squeeze the words past her tight lips. “Do you want it?” Tom asked Zach. Zach didn’t even look up at him, he simply shook his head and looked across the table as Sophie. Abbey could see it in his eyes that he was trying to comfort her the best he could and her heart shattered at how miserable her children look. “I guess it’s mine,” Tom said, “serve it up, baby.” Abbey flipped the pancake onto a plate and poured batter for the next one as she smeared butter on Tom’s and picked up the syrup. She walked it to the table and turned to tend to the next pancake when Tom’s hand snaked out and gripped her wrist in an iron vice. “Where you going?” Tom demanded. “Why are you always running away like that?” “I have to check the next one, I don’t want it to burn,” Abbey said, hiding the pain of his fingers digging into her flesh. “Sit with me, let’s have a meal together,” Tom insisted. “We haven’t sat together like a family for months now. Not since you snuck off and fucking stole my kids.” Abbey didn’t respond, she stood next to the table and willed him to eat his pancake and shut his mouth. His gaze caught hers and she didn’t avert her eyes, she stared him down until he focused on
his food and said, “Fine, suit yourself. I think that one’s burning, you worthless bitch.” Abbey jerked around and found smoke pouring from the pan. She muttered and grabbed the pan off the burner, slid the spatula under the blacked mess and tossed it into the sink. She was starting to let her own anger simmer just under the surface, and if Zach and Sophie weren’t here, she would have challenged Tom to see what happened if she stood up to him. As it was, she didn’t want him bringing them into anything so she kept her mouth shut, cleaned the pan and poured more mix into it. She hated him as she stood there making one after another so he could stuff his vile mouth. He ran it off, a constant stream berating her and mocking her as she tried to get Zach and Sophie to eat too. Neither one of them had much of an appetite, but when Tom insisted, they each took a pancake and picked at it in silence. Finally Tom’s appetite was satiated and he pushed his plate away. “You’re a good cook,” he said, belching loudly. “Now I remember why I kept your fat ass around all those years. You can see the weight you’ve been putting on, by the way. You carry it in your ass and thighs, all that blubber.” “Mom looks great,” Zach said in a quiet voice. “You have to say that, you little pussy,” Tom
chortled. “You’re a momma’s boy, out there prancing around the barrels like you don’t have balls.” “I like barrel racing,” Zach replied, a little louder and his back straighter as he stood up to his dad. “It’s not just for girls, boys do it too.” “Boys do it too,” Tom mocked him in a feminine voice. “Boys do all kinds of things when they’re pansies, but you’re my son. You should be riding bulls already, for fucks sake.” “Barrels are fine,” Sophie spoke up, her little voice squeaking in fear. “They’re fun and we like them.” “Well, well, well,” Tom said, raising his brows and snickering at Sophie. “The little one speaks.” “Tom, why don’t you head back to town? I’m sure Candy is wondering where you are,” Abbey said, praying he’d forget about them and the gun that was sitting on the table. “Candy is probably fucking some young buck,” Tom said and looked around. “She’s not loyal like you, Abbey. Now get me something to drink.” Abbey took a glass out of the cupboard, poured Tom a shot of his favorite, tequila, and handed it to him. “The bottle too,” he said, motioning to it on the counter behind her. She had been hoping he would get bored and leave, but it seemed as though he was tucking in to
spend a while with them. Abbey regretted not going to David’s place, she regretted not leaving the horses at the rodeo grounds and heading anywhere but here. She should have known Tom would be waiting. And wanting a drink. She handed him the bottle and she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was rounding close to midnight. “I need to get the kids to bed,” she said, looking at Zach and Sophie who caught on and yawned dramatically. “They’re up way past their bedtime.” She felt sick to her stomach that he’d already had them for a couple hours at least. Time was dragging slowly with him in her life, like an anchor around her neck, pulling her down, choking her. “Fine,” Tom said, pouring himself another drink. “Hurry that fat ass up, I’ve got some more talking to do.” Abbey nodded and kept her eyes down, she took Sophie and Zach’s hands and led them upstairs to their rooms. Next to Sophie’s bed, she crouched and comforted both of them. She whispered, “I need you guys to be strong for me. I’m going to handle this, but promise me you’ll be tough and stay up here no matter what you hear.” “Can you make him go away?” Sophie asked, her voice quivering and her lower lip trembling. “I
don’t like Daddy anymore, he’s so mean.” “I hate him,” Zach said with a fierce voice. “If I was bigger I could beat him up and kick him out.” “Shhhh,” Abbey replied and held them both close to her chest. “Stay here while I go to grandpa’s room and check the phone.” “Please be safe,” Sophie whispered, “I don’t want him to shoot you.” “I’ll be fine, I promise.” Abbey crept down the hall to her dad’s room, found the old house phone on his nightstand and carefully lifted the receiver. She held it to her ear and heard nothing. Tom must have cut the phone lines, and he’d taken her cell phone first thing so all her communication to the outside world was cut off. She tip toed back down to Sophie’s room and could hear Tom singing from the kitchen, some old cowboy song about a girl in El Paso, and that always meant one thing. He was drunk and he was horny, and the thought of being under her husband made Abbey physically nauseous. She felt bile rise in the back of her throat just thinking about it, she had to prevent it from happening any way she could. “Just jump into bed,” she told the kids, “Don’t worry about pajamas. We might have to leave in a hurry.” “Can Zach sleep with me?” Sophie asked, tears
brightening her eyes. “If he wants to,” Abbey replied. “Sure,” Zach said and climbed under the covers with his little sister and started to sing her to sleep with a quiet song. Abbey could have stood there and watched them all night, but she didn’t want Tom to come looking for her. She leaned down and kissed them both, turned out the light and shut the door before she walked downstairs to face the beast at the kitchen table. Now she felt like she could fight. Now she could stand up to him like she should have a hundred times since their wedding day. “There she is, the chubby little bitch,” Tom laughed and motioned for her to come sit on his lap. “I don’t know if you’ll crush me, but we can give it a try.” “I have dishes to wash,” Abbey replied woodenly and hoped he’d get bored enough to let his guard down and allowed Abbey to take a chance and escape. “Suit yourself, be a frigid bitch,” Tom said and poured himself another shot. She filled the sink and felt sick to her stomach having to turn her back on him. She could watch him in the reflection of the darkened window and his behavior seemed erratic and unpredictable. Then again, when was it ever predictable with
Tom? The only thing she could ever count on was the fact that he would get drunk and cheat on her on a regular basis. Other than that, he lived his life exactly how he wanted and she’d never dared question him. She finished washing the last plate and set the heavy cast iron frying pan into the sink full of hot, soapy water. You weren’t supposed to soak cast iron, but she had a plan. She mimicked washing it, pulled it out and watched Tom’s reflection in the window. She picked up the frying pan from the sink, turned slowly and looked at him. He was ranting about her, but staring at the table. His eyes were unfocused and his speech was slurred, but she knew he was still dangerous. Tom was the kind of man who could drink and still maintain complete control of his mind and body. He could consume enough alcohol to intoxicate a horse, but he was always ready to fight. She held the frying pan in her hand and moved around the kitchen towards the stove. It was closer to the table, and she contemplated what she would do with it. Should she flat out hit him on the head, or would hitting his hand be a better option? She was going through it in her head when there was a knock at the front door. “Who is that?” Tom barked. “Is that your pussy boyfriend?”
“I don’t know,” Abbey replied and set the frying pan down. “Do you want me to check?” “No, I’ll get it. You sit here and keep your mouth shut,” Tom said and stood, picking up the gun and waving it towards a chair near his at the table. “Better yet, hang on.” He grabbed the cord from the electric kettle, yanked it free and jerked her hand behind her back. He tied them together and to the chair, binding her tightly and unable to move. “I won’t say anything,” Abbey said. “I know you won’t,” Tom smirked, his face close enough for her to smell his sour breath on her face. He picked up a dish towel from the counter behind him and shoved it into her mouth. “Now you definitely won’t say a damned thing.” She choked on the damp cloth and waited until Tom left the room before she began to struggle against her bonds. She whimpered and heard Tom open the front door and demand what the hell somebody was doing there at that time of the night. Abbey’s ears strained to hear the response and her heart fluttered when it was David’s voice. “Where is she?” David demanded. “What the fuck have you done with her?” “She’s upstairs,” Tom snickered in a disgusting tone. “She’s been well fucked and needs her rest.” “Bullshit, where is she?” David snarled. “I know you’ve got her in there.”
“How do you know that?” Tom replied, “She’s still my wife, the minute I came back she couldn’t wait to open her legs for me.” “You’re a god damned liar,” David replied and said something more in an angry voice that Abbey couldn’t quite hear. She tried to yell at him, to call out and alert David to her location, but nothing came out. She screamed against the dish cloth but it blocked any sound. She swallowed her terrified wails and listened again. The men’s voices escalated and soon she could hear a fight break out, the unmistakable wet slapping sound of fists on flesh and her heart ached to know if David was defeating Tom or if Tom was hurting her beloved David. The sound of a gunshot rang out, piercing Abbey’s ears and making her scream against the dish towel. She prayed that Tom was too drunk to hit anything and David was okay. A dark part of her didn’t care if Tom was hit, he deserved it, although she would hate for the kids to see their Dad like that even if they did hate him at the moment. She arched her back and strained against the bonds, worked her mouth and managed to dislodge the clothe blocking her breathing and voice. “David, help!” she screamed, “I’m in here! Help me!” She jerked her hands and shook the chair, but she didn’t get any response from David.
She started to cry, not so much in desperation but more in rage. Rage that she’d let Tom do this to her again and that she hadn’t fought harder. Rage that she’d even married him in the first place, and that she’d given up so much of herself to please him. “David!” she screamed again, but a voice from behind her froze her heart and sent ice water through her veins. “He’s long gone, my dear wife,” Tom said, his voice dripping with contempt. “He couldn’t wait to get out of here once he figured out you’re back with me. He never could stand up for himself, and if my shot hit the target, he’s bleeding all the way back to his place.”
CHAPTER 19
A
bbey knew what Tom said was a lie, she felt it in her bones and her belly but there was the small scared part of herself that wondered if Tom was right. Did David really leave on his own? She knew it couldn’t be right, but why had David gone, why wasn’t he here untying her and saving her now? “Let me go,” Abbey demanded, not wanting to listen to Tom and his lies anymore. “This is ridiculous, you have to let me go!” “I don’t need to do shit, dear wife,” Tom said with a cruel sneer. He reached down to the waistband of his jeans and pulled out his gun, waved it at her and stared intently. “You’re the one who will listen to me now. You’re the bitch who ran off.” “Untie me and we can talk,” Abbey said as
softly as she could, “I’ve been wrong, let me make it up to you.” Abbey almost shuddered in disgust at the words she was saying, but she needed to convince Tom to let her go, to free her hands so she could have another chance to escape. She hated how quickly she’d given in, let him tie her up or even just make him pancakes. She inwardly cringed at how fast she’d rolled over and vowed to fight him now, especially since the kids were in bed. If it hadn’t been for the kids, Abbey liked to think she would have fought harder. Not just now, but all those years with him. But there was no point in lamenting the past, no matter how recently it had occurred, so she focused her intentions on the future. The immediate future, and looked up at Tom with her big, sad eyes, the one thing she knew would get to him. “I realize how wrong I was, baby,” she said and let her lower lip quiver. “When I heard you standing up for me, it reminded me how much we love each other.” “I’m not stupid, Abbey,” Tom sneered and flopped into a chair at the table next to her. “I know you were calling for Lizzie, I heard you clear as day.” Abbey’s blood went ice cold and she felt like time stopped. She could feel the beating of her
heart in her ears and her mouth went dry. She tried to speak, but nothing came out. Tom’s intense gaze locked her in place, leaving her feeling like a bug on a pin. “I forgive you though, you were confused,” he said, leaning towards her with his hands together and his fingers laced as if he were her father scolding her. “If I untie you, you have to promise me not to run. I will admit I like you looking like this, trussed up, defenseless.” Abbey trembled at his words, but thrust out her chin, looked at him and said, “Let me go, Tom, and I’ll do anything you want.” He placed his hands on her knee, smirked and said, “That’s my girl.” He stood suddenly, walked around behind her and with a quick jerk of the cord, he released her wrists. She pulled them in front of her, rubbed her wrists, swung around and struck out at Tom to her sudden surprise. Tom stepped back and laughed, holding his jaw. “Damn, where did you learn that?” Abbey didn’t reply, she jumped to her feet and kicked his knee, leaving him bent over in surprise. “Let me go,” she yelled, “Get out of the house, god dammit!” She took his startled reaction as a chance to leap past him, she almost made it to the doorway when his hand snapped out and grabbed her by the
wrist. “You’re not going anywhere,” Tom snarled, “you’re mine. The kids are mine. You’re my family and I’ll never fucking let you go.” Abbey pulled and wiggled herself free of his grasp, spun and ran towards the living room. Her intent was to get the phone there and desperately call 911, hoping against the odds that David was home and got her desperate cry for help. “Get back here,” Tom bellowed, “stop running, you stupid bitch!” Abbey leapt for the phone but she caught her leg on the edge of the old wooden coffee table and sharp pain shot through her calf. The jolt was enough to knock Abbey to her knees and she ended up on the floor on her back looking up at Tom’s red, angry face. “You’ve done it now,” Tom roared, “look what you’ve done, Abbey, look what you’re making me do!” Tom’s hands came down and clamped on Abbey’s throat, he tightened them and squeezed. Abbey choked and tried to beg him to stop, but the noise wouldn’t leave her throat. Tom’s hands were too strong and nothing could pass, not even breath. Abbey’s vision clouded and bright sparks of light burst around the edges. She gasped but couldn’t get any air into her lungs, his grip got
stronger and Abbey thought she might lose consciousness. She pushed at Tom’s hands, clawed his arms and fought as hard as she could, but Tom was relentless in his rage. Abbey’s eyes slipped shut and she finally did begin to slip into the darkness there. Her body went limp and she lost the ability to fight and the will to struggle for life. Just as Abbey felt herself give in to Tom’s anger and lose her grip on life, Tom’s hands pulled off and Abbey took a huge, gasping breath. She opened her eyes to see Tom being lifted up and dragged away. “Get off her, you son of a bitch,” David snarled and grappled with Tom. He managed to wrap his arm around Tom’s neck in a choker hold and began to squeeze off Tom’s air supply as he’d done to Abbey. “How’s it feel? How you like it?” Tom gagged and sputtered, his eyes bulged and his face went cherry-red as his breath was forced out of him. “David,” Abbey said in a rasping voice. Her windpipe had nearly been crushed and it hurt to talk. “Stop, don’t kill him.” “He hurt you,” David said, his voice deep and cold, like Abbey had never heard before. “He hurt you for years and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. He’ll never fucking hurt you again, Abbey, I promise you that.”
“Killing him won’t solve a thing,” Abbey said, her voice edged with hysteria, “you’ll go to jail and abandon me.” “I won’t go anywhere, I’m a cop and he’s a lowlife piece of shit,” David said. “This is self defense.” To punctuate his point, David jerked Tom upwards and Tom made a gargling noise in the back of his throat. “He’s the father of my children,” Abbey said, pleading with David to not go too far. “This isn’t you, David, and this is why I love you. Don’t do this to me and the kids, how will we explain it to them?” David winced when Abbey mentioned them, and she could see him visibly relax, but his grip was still tense. “Mom?” Zach’s voice came from the entrance to the living room. “Is David hurting Dad?” Zach’s presence shattered David’s angry demeanor instantly and David release Tom. “Just helping your Mom,” David said and helped Tom sink gently to the floor. Tom was passed out, he twitched a couple times and spluttered, but he was breathing steady. Abbey knelt next to Tom and felt his pulse, it was steady and strong. “He’s fine,” Abbey said, looking up at David who had his arm around Zach’s shoulders protectively. “He’s probably napping.”
He wasn’t, he most likely passed out because of David’s choke hold, but she couldn’t say that to her son. Abbey stood and took Zach to the couch with her to talk to him. David dialed 911 for an ambulance while Abbey cuddled Zach and let herself feel relief at last. “Did Dad hurt you again?” Zach asked her in a terrified whisper while giving Tom a suspicious glance. “He tried,” Abbey replied, “but he won’t again. I promise.” “Is David taking him to jail?” Zach asked. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but right now David is going to get an ambulance here to make sure he’s okay. After that we can figure out if he has to go to jail,” Abbey said. “I hope he goes away,” Zach said and snuggled in under Abbey’s arm and broke her heart. “I hated living with him, Mom. I hated it when he hurt you.” “I didn’t think you knew,” Abbey said and ruffled his hair. “If I had known, I would have left years ago. But now we’re free of him and everything will be okay.” “I won’t let him hurt your mom ever again,” David said and joined them on the couch. He looked across Zach at Abbey and she could see his promise in his eyes. Those stunning violet eyes that made her heart thump and her soul sing with the
knowledge that he was committed to keeping her safe. “I know you won’t,” Zach said, “but can we live with you now?” “We’re practically living there now,” Abbey laughed. “You know David and I will be getting married at some point. We’ll be a family soon.” “I’d like that,” Zach said and held his hand up to his mouth as he yawned. “I’d like it too,” David said. Abbey stood and took Zach’s hand. “That’s enough excitement for the night, let’s get you back to bed.” Her throat still ached and she knew she’d have bruises in the morning, but for now her life seemed good enough to handle anything. David had come back for her and she was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. Abbey got Zach settled next to Sophie just in time for the ambulance to arrive. She told him to stay put in their room, to keep Sophie calm if she woke up, and went back downstairs to deal with the inevitable questions that would come with Tom’s injuries. David was already dealing with the paramedics and the two police who had shown up. Tom was sitting up on the couch, his head in his hands, groaning softly. Abbey felt detached, she watched the
paramedics attend to Tom and David handle the cops as if she weren’t part of the action at all. Finally, one of the paramedics approached her to treat her wounds and Abbey was pulled back in. She answered questions to the best of her ability, tried to focus and tell her story, she hoped the police would see how Tom had brutalized them and she wouldn’t have to deal with him again. By the time they left with Tom in the back of the ambulance and the police following them to the hospital, Abbey was ready to collapse. David caught her as she almost fainted onto the couch, his arms tight around her and concern painting his eyes. “You need sleep, they said you’re going to be okay but you need to recover,” David said and kissed her softly. He swept her up in his arms and took the stairs to the second floor, to her old room. “I want to check on the kids,” she said and he put her down. They opened the door and found Zach and Sophie deep in contented sleep. “Now that’s what you need,” David said and helped her down the hall. They stripped down and climbed into Abbey’s bright pink super single bed and Abbey felt peace for the first time since seeing Tom at the fair earlier that day. “Why did you leave the first time?” Abbey asked with David’s arms around her, spooning her
from behind. “He pulled a gun and threatened the kids,” David said in a dangerous voice. She felt his body tense up just thinking about it. “He shot at you?” Abbey asked. “No, I heard the shot after I left. I shouldn’t have left my gun at home, I should have come in full uniform. I should have known he was here.” “It’s not your fault, he got the jump on me. And I was stupid, I should have left the horses there and gone to your place. Tom would have never found us there.” “Did he…did he hurt you badly?” David asked hesitantly. “Not at all, he choked me after you left and that was it. Nothing before that, the kids were awake and I was cooking for them.” “Fuck that guy, it angers me so much to think of you with him, and the kids being so scared.” “It all worked out,” Abbey said and closed her eyes, feeling David’s breath on her neck and the strength of his muscled body all around her. “You saved us after all, in more ways then you’ll ever know.” “You saved me from myself,” David said in a husky voice from behind her as she slipped into sleep. “You all saved me, Abbey, more than you’ll ever understand.”
CHAPTER 20
A
bbey and David took the kids into town first thing in the morning and picked up Abbey’s dad. “No hard feelings, I hope,” David said and held out his hand. “None at all, son,” Abbey’s dad responded and shook it vigorously. “What’s this I hear about Tom though? He was brought in just before I left, and man, was he pissed off.” “They arrested him?” Abbey asked and looked at David. “They actually arrested him?” “Of course they did, he attacked you,” David said and put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “He tied you up and almost killed you, Abbey. Of course he’s going to pay for it.” “He attacked you?” her dad roared, his eyes blazing as he noticed the dark marks on her neck
and the tell-tale hoarseness of her voice. “Now I’m pissed off, tell me everything.” “He was waiting for us when we got back to your place to drop the horses off,” Abbey said. “The rest was bad, but David came back and saved me.” “Now I have a few hard feelings for being locked up,” Abbey’s dad grumbled. “If I had been there, this never would have happened.” “I agree, and for that I apologize,” David said, his gaze dropping as a dark shadow flickered across his features. “Daddy was crazy last night, grandpa,” Sophie said, reaching up to grab his hand. “He really scared us, but we’re okay.” “I could have protected Mom, but she made me go to bed,” Zach said, his chest puffing out with pride. “I wanted to protect her for a while now, but she always made me stay away when Dad was being mean to her.” “You shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like that,” David said, tousling Zach’s hair. “Now that I’m here, you don’t need to. Just be a kid, that’s your job now.” Abbey smiled and was so grateful that their lives were steady without Tom, that his chaos and violence was gone and they could live calmly with David in their lives. “Can we eat something?” Sophie interjected
and rubbed her stomach. “My tummy is growling so loud I can’t think straight!” “Me too,” Abbey’s dad laughed. “I’ll be putting in a complaint about the room service in the local jail.” They made their way to their local favorite diner to fill up on good old fashioned home style cooking and for the adults, a few gallons of strong black coffee. Abbey took maybe a little too much pleasure knowing that they were having such a great time while Tom languished in jail, the bruises of David’s fingers still marking her neck. It took the sting out of her own bruises a little, thinking about Tom’s pain and his realization that he had destroyed any chance for this kind of happiness at all. “I figure this means you two will be making it official some time soon,” Abbeys’ dad said half way through breakfast. “It probably does,” Abbey said with a grin. “I mean, if David still wants me.” “He’d better,” Sophie giggled, “because I already have my room picked out at his place.” “And I like his barn better, sorry Grandpa,” Zach added. “Why you little scoundrel,” Abbey’s dad said, faking outrage as Zach ducked away from his fake punch, laughing all the while. Abbey’s eyes met David’s across the table and
David’s mouth twisted into a cheeky grin. “I don’t know, do I have a say in this?” “Apparently not,” Abbey’s dad chuckled, “when these three get their minds made up, good luck getting out of it.” “It’s lucky for me that I’m in agreement,” David smiled, “I’ve been asking Abbey for weeks now but she wanted to wait until the kids were ready and she could get a divorce.” “We’re ready!” Zach exclaimed. “Totally ready,” Sophie joined in. “I guess it’s happening,” David said, reaching across the table to Abbey’s hand. He took it, squeezed it, and locked his eyes on hers. “It is,” Abbey agreed. “We’re doing this.” And like that, Abbey’s life took another turn. It always amazed her how the smallest series of events could lead you from one place to another. Just a year or two ago she was living in fear with a man who controlled her every action. One decision led to her leaving him, and one more decision after another had led her straight into David’s arms, where she had supposed to be all along. She was eternally grateful to have Zach and Sophie, but life was certainly way better than she had ever imagined when she’d been trapped back with Tom. It was good though, Tom was slowly becoming part of her past, she could feel his ugliness and
chaotic vitriol slowly leaching from her bones, pumping through her blood and evaporating into the air with each of David's smiles, his kisses, his touches. David was slowly rewriting her history, her present and her future. He was slowly replacing the terrible moments with Tom, filling in until her head was flooded with memories and dreams of David. He was becoming her air to breathe and the very thing she craved when she thirsted for more, when she hungered to be beautiful and desired and loved. Tom was being replaced, each one of her cells was rejecting the poison she'd carried with her all these years, each second that passed meant she was another moment farther from the toxic life she'd had with her ex. Now she just needed to make sure her life was in fact on track, she needed the divorce and she needed her freedom to marry David. She wanted nothing more than to marry him, and be his wife, his partner and his love until they were both old and grey and holding their grandkids on their knees. It would come, but she did have a plan to hasten it along a little. First she needed to get everyone home and happily tucked away, and then she would come back into town to talk to Tom. To get him out of her life once and for all.
JOANNE PRODUCED the paperwork with a dramatic flair and said, "All I need is his signature here, here, and here. Oh, and he must initial here. But are you sure about this? You don't want any child support at all?" "Not a damned thing," Abbey replied, adding her own scrawling name to the divorce documents. She was asking for full custody, no child support, and an immediate divorce. She would let his parents visit the kids from time to time, but it had to be pre-arranged and always supervised. Abbey couldn't bring herself to trust anyone with Tom's best interests at heart, and even though his parents knew he was an irresponsible, violent drunk of course they still loved him. He was their son after all, and perhaps they felt guilt at having created such a monster, or they just felt the need to cover up his actions, either way she wasn't going to trust them. She took the enveloped and walked across the street to the jail cell where Tom was being held. Abbey wasn't even sure what he'd been arrested for, or when he'd be walking free, but she wanted to take advantage of having him over a barrel right then and there. "Well, well, if it isn't my dear wife," Tom smirked as she approached the cell with a police
officer standing close behind her. "I'm not your wife, Tom," Abbey spat, "I never should have been and I'm here to correct that." "I'm not signing anything," Tom replied stubbornly. "I think you'll find my offer very generous," Abbey insisted. "You walk away scott free. No ties, no obligations, I want nothing from you." "I'm not just giving that queer boyfriend of yours custody of my kids," Tom snarled. "That boyfriend of mine almost killed you last night, you might recall," Abbey said in a low voice so the cop couldn't overhear her. "He was saving me, and god only knows what he would have done to make sure you never hurt me again. Remember that when you're trying to be cocky behind those bars." "Come on, Abbey," Tom pleaded, "can't we talk? I waited for you to come back, but you hurt me, babe. You hurt me really bad." "Not bad enough to give a fuck when I walked out," Abbey replied. "Not enough to stop using me as a punching bag, or fucking anything with two legs, tits and a tight pair of Wranglers. It was never love with you, it was possession. You saw me as an object and had to own me, I was no better than a prize mare to you." "You're as big as a horse now, that's for sure," Tom chortled, "what the hell's Lizzie feeding you?
You look like a fattened calf. Good enough to butcher up and grill." "I look good and I know it," Abbey replied, staring him right in the eye until he glanced away nervously and she knew she was winning. "I'm not terrified to eat, I'm not scared to breathe the wrong way, and I'm not constantly fighting for my life. It's amazing how good a girl can look when she's being loved well by the right man." "Fuck it, let me talk to my dad and I'll let you know later," Tom said, "I'll probably make bail in another hour or so but I can call you." "You're not going to call," Abbey said, "Either you sign this now or we use this arrest as leverage to get more money. Alimony too, because I supported you all those years and gave up my career." "Bullshit," Tom snapped, but Abbey could see him calculating his options as he thought about her offer. "Fuck it, fine, hand me the papers." Abbey's heart trembled as she handed the papers to the police officer who took them into the cell to Tom. She produced a pen and indicated where Tom had to sign. He didn't say a word the entire time, he knew when he was beat. He was a poker player after all, and right now Abbey's hand was just better than his. At least he knew when it was time to fold and
leave the table. Abbey felt like she was walking about ten feet off the ground as she crossed back to Joanne's office. "I got it," Abbey squeaked as she handed the envelope to her lawyer. "You did? I never believed it would work! You did it!" "I did!" "Fantastic. Now since it's a Sunday, I have to wait until tomorrow to file. This will happen though, you're getting your divorce, Abbey." "Thank you so much for coming in today. I can't believe this is happening." Abbey left the office, got in her old pick up truck and sang at the top of her lungs all the way home, eager to share the good news with her family. As she drove up to her Dad's place, she noticed the flurry of activity happening around the front of the house. She stepped out and walked up slowly, watching David and her dad and the kids moving boxes from the house to David's truck. "What's going on here?" she asked with a grin, knowing full well what they were getting up to while she'd been gone. "We're making a decision," Sophie said cheerfully as she flounced by with a few of her stuffed animals in her arms.
"What decision?" Abbey asked with an amused tone. "We're moving in with David today," Zach replied, walking past with some of his things packed loosely in an old container. "Oh are we?" Abbey laughed and pretended to be scandalized by their behaviour. "So do I get any say in when we're actually doing this, or has that ship sailed?" "It sailed," David said, walking up to her and kissing her on the cheek. "The moment you were gone, the kids started packing up and moving everything to my truck. They basically steam rolled me and your Dad. They're very demanding, those kids of ours, you know that though." "I do, I know it very much," Abbey said, her heart soaring at him calling them ours. Their children together, it wasn't like Abbey was moving in with her children while David was the step dad on the outside. In his world, a man took care of his family and in this case that family included Zach and Sophie. And that in itself meant the world to Abbey, she didn't think David would ever understand how good it made her feel to know that somebody else out there wanted her children cared for as much as she did. Especially since their own biological father had seemed to want nothing from them or for them.
"I suggest you grab a box and help us pack or perhaps stay out of the way," David said, kissing her on the cheek once more as his eyes flashed mischievously. "There isn't much left," Zach said, "maybe two boxes." Abbey turned to look at her dad. He seemed almost forlorn that she and the kids were moving out and that was the only bad part of this situation. He needed to date again, he wasn't dead, in fact he was far from it, and he should spend his life loving another woman. She might work on setting him up once her own life had settled down just a little. "You can come over any time," she told him as she stood by his side. "You're welcome at our place like it's yours." "I know," Dad replied, tipping his cowboy hat back on his forehead a little. "It was nice though, having kids running through the house again." "Oh that's not gonna change," Abbey laughed, "I'll still be sending them over here to get them out of my hair. The back road is only fifteen minutes on horseback and our properties are connected through the west field. "I know that," her dad replied and offered her a smile. "I'd like that too, having them visit." "You'll see more of us now, so much you'll get sick of us."
"That's never going to happen. And Abbey?" "Yeah Dad?" "I sure am glad you found your way back home." "Me too," she replied and sighed with contentment. "Me too."
CHAPTER 21
“C
an you believe this yawn-fest?” Julia, one of the moms from school asked Abbey under her breath. "It's horrible," Abbey agreed and rolled her eyes in mock pain. They were trapped in a school assembly and were being forced to sit through every single classroom's awards ceremony for the year end celebrations. Abbey actually didn't mind that much, this year she had David and her dad by her side in the stuffy school gym. She normally didn't have anyone with her for these kinds of things, and it felt so much better to have support. Julia was the type of mom who loved to complain though, and she was Abbey's closest friend now, so Abbey always joined in for moral
support. She didn't want to be the little Susie sunshine mom when others were griping about one thing or another at school. But dammit, it was getting harder and harder to even fake being annoyed, life was so good lately. Her job at the Co-op was humming along, her pervy boss Rick stayed well back from her once he found out she was David's finance, and her bitchy coworker Samantha had found a job somewhere else after Abbey bubbled over with joy one day and showed her the ring David had given her to make it all official. Even Tom had gone away, not just in person but in spirit. Abbey realized a little while ago that she hadn't heard that sibilant nasty voice in her head for some time, the one with Tom's voice, poisoning her mind with self doubt and self loathing. And that was one of the best gifts of all, returning to the person she'd been before losing herself to Tom. Becoming the Abbey she should have been all along, the mother and future wife she could be without Tom's controlling abuse keeping her down. And of course it was nice to have him gone from their lives as well. He'd signed the papers, hadn't fought her on them, and she had finalized her divorce just a couple weeks ago. His parents had been out a couple times since he'd signed, and everything had gone surprisingly well. They were
wealthy and used to getting their own way, but they actually seemed to admire David and appreciated Abbey as the mother to their grandchildren. And the kids loved them, family was family after all, and if the grandparents wanted to love and spoil her children, Abbey wasn't going to stop them. They kept quiet about Tom though. She'd heard through the grapevine, friends and social media, that he had moved Candy into their old house and Candy might be expecting a baby. Abbey felt nothing but sorrow for the other woman and her child. She would always keep the lines of communication open in case her children wanted to know their sibling, but Tom didn't seem willing to have anything to do with them now that he felt as if he'd lost. David grabbed Abbey's hand and whispered, "Sophie's class is coming up." Sophie was in kindergarten, so hers was the final class of the day. Zach's class had already gone and he'd won an award for being the kindest student in his grade. Abbey had grinned like a fool at that, knowing that Tom's violent personality might have been corrected out of her son. He wouldn't inherit that particular part of his father. "They're all so cute, I love this age," Abbey whispered back and she saw her dad straighten his back in pride again, as he had done with Zach. It
was good for him, having them back close to home. As expected, he spent a lot of time at their place, eating dinner or helping David with farming while he was busy in town with the force. He looked younger too, as if the weight of his grief had been aging him prematurely. Abbey swore his face was less lined and more relaxed now that he had his grandkids to laugh with. Speaking of grandkids with her dad, he had promised them a date night on Saturday. Abbey and David were finally going to have some time to themselves and Abbey couldn't wait to find out what David had planned. Abbey sat on the edge of her seat listening to all the kids receiving their awards, each one got something special and in spite of Tom snarking about kids these days being such snowflakes, Abbey loved seeing the little ones get a boost of confidence in their schooling. "And last but not least I would like to congratulate Sophie for her special award," Sophie's teacher announced, holding up a medal for Sophie. "This one is for a little girl who was not only the first to learn how to read, but the one who helped each and every one of her classmates with anything they needed. So congratulations to Abbey, her second child also wins the kindest classmate medallion." Abbey was so overcome with joy that she
thought surely her heart would squeeze so hard with it that she would lose her grip on this world. She stood up and clapped like a crazy woman, David and her dad joined her and Sophie took a dramatic bow and curtsy upon receiving her award. "Look, grandpa, it's so shiny!" she yelled and ran back through the crowd to show them. Abbey bent and looked at it to hide the tears that were biting the edges of her eyes. "I'm so proud of you, you're a good person, just like Zach," her dad said and lifted Sophie into a hug. The principal told the parents that it was officially over, school was out, so everybody began to mill about and chat as the kids ran around. "Did you see mine?" Zach asked, rushing up to them. "It's awesome, I've never won anything before!" "It's amazing," David said, his voice indicating the pride he felt for her children. Their children. "How about we go get ice cream at the Dairy Queen for a treat?" Abbey suggested and everyone immediately agreed. "Let's get them together for play dates this summer," Julia said, grabbing Abbey's arm on their way out. "Mine are going to drive me nuts within a week." "Definitely," Abbey said as a few other moms wandered over to join the plans.
Abbey thought back to the first day of school when she worried about fitting in and being the only single mom, the outcast. She'd been so wrong, since then she'd made friends with other parents and had made some good friends among them. It was her anxiety talking back then, her stress and insecurities that had made her so worried. These days she had enough confidence to know that not everyone would love her, but that didn't matter, she loved herself and had people in her life that loved her too. They had their treats in town and headed back out to the farms, Abbey's dad followed them home for an impromptu barbecue, and it was pretty much the perfect day. One in a long line of perfect days, with many more stretching out ahead of her.
"YOU KNOW I love those kids like they're my own, Abbey," David said, reaching up to help her out of his pickup truck, "but dammit, I've been needing this bad." It was date night, Sophie and Zach were with Abbey's dad and they were finally alone at last. They'd driven home after dropping the kids off, and Abbey had thought if there had been pavement,
David would have been peeling rubber the entire way. "Are you feeling a little constrained lately, my love?" Abbey giggled and squealed when he swept her up into his arms and rushed towards the house, taking the steps two at a time and almost kicking down the front door. "Constrained is right," he growled and nuzzled her neck. "I want to make you scream, I want you to call my name so loud the cows will be wondering what the hell is up in here." "Oh god, me too," Abbey moaned as he tore at her clothes like a crazed man. His fingers were nimble for him being so huge, and soon her shirt and pants were stripped off, leaving her in just a matching lacey bra and underwear set. "I knew you were wearing something sexy under this old shirt," David said with a thick voice, his lust was apparent in the bulge at the front of his own jeans. "God, I just knew it...I could barely keep up talking with your dad, my mind was already here undressing you." "Tell me about it, I thought he'd never shut up about the price of grain in Saskatchewan," Abbey laughed and did her own nimble fingered work on David's shirt. She didn't think she'd ever grow tired of pulling it off him, exposing his muscled chest and thick arms, the ripples of his abs and the angled V that
dipped below the waistband of his jeans. She leaned against him, her breasts brushing up against his chest, and fumbled with the button on his jeans, desperate to have him all revealed to her, especially her favorite part. "Let me help you with that," he said, his voice husky and deep. He moved her hands out of the way, undid his buttons and helped her slide his pants off his hips...and watching her intently when her favorite part popped out. "Oh," she exclaimed and gripped his thick, throbbing shaft. "This is what I've been needing in my life." He groaned and picked her up, set her down on the back of the leather couch and tore her panties off with one swift tug. "I'll replace those later," he promised, bemusement making his gorgeous violet eyes sparkle, "For now I need this more than I need to be gentle." He positioned himself, thrust against her and once again she was swept away into the private world between her and the man she loved with all her heart. Their sex was furious and fast, both of them exploding their built up tensions in shared groans and cries of lust and passion. After they had finished, Abbey slowly came to the realization that she was precariously perched on the back of the
couch, her body limp and in David's arms. "This can't be comfortable for you," she smiled up at him and straightened herself up. "It's perfect," he said and kissed her collarbone, holding her tight. "I'm still inside of you, that's exactly where I'm the most comfortable." "We should get dressed and do whatever it is you have planned," she said, shivering as her sweat cooled in the late afternoon air. "This is what I had planned," he chuckled and kissed her collarbone again, this time trailing kissed along her neck to her jawline, making her shiver with reawakened passion instead of cold. "This is it?" she asked, her eyebrow raised as she tried to deny the fact that she wanted him again immediately. She didn't know why, but she was enjoying the flirtatious game they were playing so she kept it up. "I was hoping for a fancy dinner at that new Greek place in town. Maybe some flowers. Maybe some wining and dining, you know the usual." "Wining, dining, and sixty-nining?" he laughed and she felt him twitch inside of her as he grew hard again at the mere mention of that particular sex act. "You're incorrigible," Abbey said, but her smile disappeared as he began to move slowly inside of her. He picked her up in his arms, still deeply
connected, and began to walk towards the bedroom. "I believe the word you're looking for is insatiable," he said, his own humour fleeing in the face of his desire. "Utterly and completely insatiable for you, Abbey. to make up for all those years we should have been together." "We'll have decades to make up for lost time," she whispered, her eyes locked on his as he laid her onto the bed. "I want to start now," he replied and kissed his way down her body to show her how much she'd missed all those years with Tom. Abbey didn't care if he'd made dinner reservations, or bought her flowers, or poured her gallons of fancy wine. All she cared about was in those moments when they were together, their bodies entwined and their hearts joining together until she couldn't tell where she ended and he began. When they were one in their love and lust, passion and dedication to their family. That was worth more than any amount of fancy food or expensive presents, worth more to her than anything material he could possibly offer her. Offering his heart and soul, body and mind was enough to satiate Abbey, but it was enough to leave her always wanting more. More of him, more of them. They spent the rest of the afternoon and
evening showing each other how much they were meant to be together until their growling stomachs and limbs limp exhaustion did send them into town looking for dinner. And yes, it was the fancy Greek place, and yes David had delivered flowers for her before they arrived, and yes it came with the most expensive bottle of wine the placed served. And none of it tasted better than the honey on her lips from David's kisses and the satisfaction in her heart from his love.
CHAPTER 22
“Y
ou did not just roll your eyes at me, young missie,” Abbey snapped at a very grumpy Sophie on the morning of her wedding to David. “This dress sucks,” Sophie pouted, “why can’t I wear jeans like Zach?” “Because you’re a flower girl, not a best man,” Julie said, sweeping in to rescue both mother and daughter before their grump fest blew up into a full on fight. It had been a year since they’d moved in with David and Sophie was seven going on seventeen. She was as sweet as pie with anyone else in their lives, but her and Abbey clashed over the smallest things. David said it was because they were both stubborn as bulls, and Abbey’s dad tended to agree.
Zach, being the wise young man that he was, stayed clear out of it. “She’s going to be the death of me,” Abbey laughed as Sophie wandered out of the room, tugging at the hem of her pretty pink dress. "She's a tom boy, and she's got your temperament," Julia said, tugging at Abbey's hair, trying to tame it into a braid. "You two will clash, but you'll end up best of friends when she needs you. Don't you worry about that." "I suppose you're right," Abbey said and sighed, staring into the mirror. Her curls were unruly and she didn't think anyone could manage them into a pretty chignon to fit under her veil, but Julia had promised she'd try. She felt a wave of dizziness wash over her and bile rose at the back of her throat. "Oh god," she said and brought her hand up to her chest. "Hang on, stop brushing." "What's wrong?" Julia asked, stopping in mid stroke. "Nerves. I feel a little sick," Abbey replied. "Just nerves?" Julia teased, "are you sure it's not something else?" "I doubt it, we've been careful. I didn't want to have David's child out of wedlock." "Welcome to the new age, Abbey, people don't care about things like that anymore." "I know, but it doesn't feel right to me.
That's all." "Are you going to try when you're legally hitched and all that?" Julie asked. "Sure, we haven't talked about it much but I think he'd probably be happy to get me knocked up." "You're so romantic," Julia laughed and resumed brushing Abbey's tangled hair. The nervous sensation didn't go away though, and Abbey had to jump up, push Julia back and rush to the bathroom off the master bedroom. She gripped the toilet seat and grumbled under her breath that of course she would have to pick up the flu the day of their wedding and the day before they left to the Chilcotin for a week long ranch spa retreat. She threw up the small amount of breakfast she'd eaten and washed her mouth out with cold water from the tap. She stood and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and noticed the slightest darkening under her eyes. She'd had dark eyes when she'd been pregnant the first two times. But she hadn't really experienced many other symptoms, other than tender breasts. On a whim she pushed her bra up and felt her nipples, gasped when they were soar and sensitive and it hit her. She had been careful, but there had been a
couple times they'd had sex when she was taking antibiotics for her tonsillitis. And she'd read somewhere that antibiotics diminished birth control pills. But she'd done that before and had never gotten pregnant, could it have happened this time? Her mouth formed a perfect O shape as she stared at herself in the mirror again, wondering if she was carrying David's baby. And wondering if he'd be happy about it. She knew he would be, but something deep inside of her worried about his reaction. Her time with Tom had almost cleared from her system, but there was the occasional patch of poison left here and there, and right now one was rearing its ugly head in the back of her mind. What if it was too soon? What if he wasn't ready to be a dad? What would she do about it if he didn't want this baby? What if he freaked out like Tom had when she'd gotten pregnant with Sophie? "Abbey, are you okay?" Julia knocked on the bathroom door. Abbey opened it slowly and looked her friend in the eye. "You might be right." "Right? About what?" Abbey stared at her meaningfully until Julia's eyes widened and she exhaled slowly. "Oh my god, about the baby."
"Yeah, about the baby. I might be pregnant, and I don't know what to do about it." "Do you want me to rush back into town and get a test?" "Would you mind? I'd like to know sooner than later. Besides, if I am pregnant I can't get crazy drunk at the reception." "That's true," Julia laughed, "dang it, I was dying to see you bust out your sweet dance moves." "Oh believe me, nobody needs to see those," Abbey said. "Could you go now before I get laced up into this dress like a Christmas ham?" "Hang tight, I'll be back in a jiffy." "And Julia, don't tell David yet, okay?" "Of course not, if anyone asks I'll tell them you ran out of hairspray or something." At that Julia bounced out of the room like a deer in the springtime. Abbey was left sitting on the edge of the bed wondering what the hell she should do about this. Her logical mind was telling her it would be welcomed as a blessing, but her anxious mind was concerned that David would flip out. She trembled and shook, but at last she took control of her thoughts and picked up her phone. "Where are you?" she texted David. "In the barn with the planner," he sent back. "I need you here," she replied, sat further back on the bed and waited for him. She knew he'd race
to her side at her request, he was that kind of man, reliable and dedicated to her. He also knew her well enough to understand that if she said she needed him, then it wasn't a frivolous request...she really needed him. In no time at all he knocked lightly on the door to their bedroom and she stood up to let him in. "What is it?" he asked, taking her by the shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes, his face a mask of concern. "Nothing bad, I promise," Abbey replied. "Is it about the wedding?" he asked. "No," she laughed, "not at all." "Oh good, I thought you were ditching me at the altar," David said with a lopsided grin. "Never, you're stuck with me now," Abbey replied with a fierce declaration. "This is about me, something that might be happening to me." Fear flickered across his features and he asked, "What is it? Are you sick?" "Not sick, but I just threw up," Abbey said. "It's kind of the morning and I got sick." "Do you have the flu?" "No..." "Where's Julia? What did she say? Is it food poisoning?" "She wen to town to get me a test," Abbey replied, actually enjoying the moment, helping David figure it out on his own.
"A test? For being sick..." "In the morning..." Abbey said pointedly and smiled at him. It slowly hit him, her hints were coming together. "Morning sickness?" he said slowly and loosened his hold on her as his hands dropped to his sides. She backed up and sat back down on the bed, patted the mattress beside her and said, "Let's talk about what might be happening." He joined her, sat down and took her hand. He looked at her, his lopsided grin seemingly frozen on his gorgeous face as he finally clued in. "You're pregnant? Am I going to be a father?" "That's what the test is for," she said, "we can find out when Julia gets back." "And I mean a father like there from the beginning, all through your pregnancy and when you go into labor," he said hastily, "I don't mean that I don't consider Sophie and Zach my children." "I know what you mean," Abbey said, "and the way you've been with them you have a little leeway to be excited about this. If I'm pregnant, you get to enjoy the whole thing, including me in all my swollen, bitchy glory." "I don't care how big or how bitchy you get," he said, "I'll love every expanding inch of you, no matter what."
Abbey's laugh ended as she snorted and her eyes widened. "Oh god, I just snorted like a pig, that means I probably am knocked up." "That's hardly scientific," David laughed. "It's true, with both my pregnancies I could laugh like a normal human being, I snorted every time I tried." "Then I guess we don't need a test," David said. "It's official, I knocked you up, baby." "Even if you didn't, I'm glad you're happy about it," Abbey said, leaning against him. They sat like that joking about baby names until Julia came bursting through the door with a gust of air rushing around her with her entrance. "I got it," she exclaimed and took not of David sitting on the bed. "Oh. I mean, no big deal, nothing to see here." "He knows," Abbey said, "if you wouldn't mind could you give us a few minutes?" "Definitely," Julia replied, but her face fell a little. She seemed so excited about the pregnancy test and a little rejected at Abbey's request. Abbey felt slightly bad, but couldn't worry about it too much. This was a moment for her and David alone. When they were finally by themselves, David stood and dug through the bag Julia had tossed towards them. He pulled out a pink box and tore it open. He emptied the instructions into his hand, opened the paper and began to read.
"You have to pee on this thing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Abbey. "Yup, that's kind of the point." "Okay, let's do this. I mean, if you have to go." "I can, I've been holding it." "Always planning ahead," David said, "I'm glad I didn't decide to tickle you or something." Abbey walked slowly to the bathroom, David trailed behind. "You can wait there for a minute," Abbey said, shutting the door behind her. They lived together but she still needed a modicum of privacy. She wasn't too keen on peeing in front of him in any circumstance but with this kind of pressure, it would be impossible. She sat, withdrew the test, read over the directions, and did what she needed to do. She set the test on the counter's edge, finished up and stood to get David. She opened the door and found him standing right up against it, his ear pressed against the wood. "Oh," he exclaimed, blushing at being caught. Even blushing he was so handsome, his strong jaw and incredible eyes not diminished by him being flustered. "You're done." "Yup, and now we wait." "How long?" "Two minutes." "That's not too bad." "It's going to feel like a lifetime.
And it did. David must have looked at his phone a hundred time, and Abbey couldn't help but sneak a peak each time he pulled it out. The final peak and he was practically shaking when he turned it around to show her the screen. "It's time," he said. "It is," she replied. He took her hand in his and they walked to the test together. "Here we go," he said. She was trembling when she picked it up, looked at it and read the little window. "Pregnant," she exhaled slowly. "It's positive, it says pregnant." "Let me see it," David said, the excitement making his voice rumble. She held it up, showed him and watched his face as it all sunk in. He had gotten her pregnant and he was going to be a father. He was going to experience the entire thing, from the passionate conception to the crazy screaming birth. And Abbey couldn't imagine doing it with anybody else at that point, he would be by her side and supporting her the entire way. Unlike her last two pregnancies where she'd felt alone and forgotten, she knew David was going to carry her through this no matter how tough it got. "How do you feel, Daddy?" Abbey asked, her racing a hundred miles a minute as she considered
the changes this would mean and worried about how Zach and Sophie would feel about having a baby in the house. David was silent for a moment as he carefully considered his response. Abbey watched him as the ghost of a smile formed into a full on wide grin. He turned to her and said, Honestly? I feel pretty fucking awesome. I got you pregnant, I'm the man!" She laughed as he nipped at her neck and pulled her close to him. "That you are," she replied and threw her head back for him to kiss her neck and work his mouth up to her ear. She shivered as he kissed and sucked it, and whispered, "I love you so much Abbey. I never thought it could feel like this." "I love you too," she replied and closed her eyes, savouring the sensations of his mouth on her sensitive skin. There was a sharp rap at the door and the wedding planner's voice broke through their moment. "Are you two in there? David, I need you. We have hay bales to move and I can't find the table that was supposed to be here last night. I don't know where the rental company left it." David exhaled and groaned in irritation. "Back to reality," he said. "I want this to be perfect for when you walk down the aisle to me." "Everything already is," Abbey said and
watched him longingly as he got up and walked to the door. He paused, looked back and said, "I can't believe it, we're having a baby." "We are," she grinned and watched him leave. Abbey took a deep breath and stuck her head out the door to call Julia. She needed to finish her hair and makeup, get out of her comfy bathrobe and into her gorgeous light blue wedding gown. She didn't feel right wearing white, especially now that she was pregnant, so she'd gone with the most intensely beautiful color she'd ever seen. She was happy with it, David was happy with it, so nobody else's opinion mattered. She brushed at a stray tendril curling along her cheek and smiled to herself in the mirror. She'd never considered herself a beautiful woman, even when as a teenager, men and boys had flocked to her. She'd never seen it, never understood what they'd been drawn to. With David in her heart, their love shining through her eyes and making her skin glow with some secret magic, she finally saw it. She was beautiful because she could see what David saw, she could see herself through his eyes. She was perfect because of his love. Julia returned, they finished getting Abbey ready and headed towards the barn where David and the planner had been setting up for the last
couple days. Abbey didn't know what to expect, she'd given them her ideas and had left the rest up to them. What she hadn't expected was the driveway filled with cars, all the way to the road and lining it down both sides for a ways. She hadn't expected the barn to be lit up with what seemed to be a million tiny white lights, and she hadn't expected to gasp in wonder when she walked through the sliding front doors as music began on an old piano at the front. She recognized one of the moms from school on the bench, let Julia, Sophie and her other bridesmaids line up and start their walk down the aisle. The planner had laid out a white silken path between rows and rows of hay bale seats. They were so packed with friends and family that people were standing along the sides of the barn, watching her walk. David's parents were at the front, recently returned from their winter home in Arizona. Both of them had been thrilled with Abbey and David's relationship, and both had taken Sophie and Zach under their wings like they'd been born into the family and were their biological grandkids. Abbey had a feeling it wouldn't change once they found out about the baby, they were generous, good hearted people who valued family, no matter
the configuration. Abbey felt good, she was holding it together and maintaining her composure until the wedding march started and her dad walked up beside her to take her to David. She looked up at him, caught his eyes bright with tears, and almost lost it right then and there. "You look so much like your mother," he said and his voice choked in his throat. Abbey took his arm, felt the music flow through her, let the hush of the crowd lift her up until she felt light enough to almost float down the aisle, and focused all her attention on David. The cavernous space of the barn shrunk until her vision tunneled, her on one end, David on the other, his incredible eyes shining with love and leading her towards him and towards the rest of their lives. She could hardly breathe as life marched on, leading them into their future, their bright, loving, incredible future. And it was good. It was more than good, it was exactly what it was meant to be.
EPILOGUE
"M om, are you even listening to me?" Zach
asked Abbey over breakfast one morning. "I am, I'm just trying to feed your little brother and that takes up a lot of my attention," Abbey replied and turned back to Paxton, her little surprise wedding baby who wasn't so little anymore. He was almost three and doing his best to spit out every piece of toast Abbey got even close to his mouth. "Let me take over and you can hear all about Zach's business plan," David said, coming into the dining room in his uniform. He had to be into work in about an hour but he always had time to help Abbey out in the morning, just one more amazing thing about her husband. Oh, and he looked incredible in his police uniform, broad shoulders, tight abs and those thick
legs that drove her mad. She looked up at him, handed him the plate with Pax's toast and grinned at him. "Good luck with that, Dad. But thanks!" He sat next to his son who immediately changed his demeanor from good natured demon child to Daddy's little helper. He ate everything David put in front of him and didn't blow raspberries even once. "This isn't that hard," David chuckled and Abbey stuck her tongue out at him playfully. "Now what was I missing over here?" she asked Zach who was going to be thirteen in a few months and considered himself to be basically a grown man as he always put it. "I want to take on a couple colts to train," Zach said, his voice breaking in his excitement. It saddened Abbey sometimes, to realize her little boy was becoming a teen right before her eyes, but she was so proud of the gentle, hard working kid he had become. "My buddy Robert is doing it, and he's making over two hundred dollars a month per colt!" "That's pretty good money, but you know that you have to work for it, right?" Abbey said. "They'll be completely your responsibility, and those nights you have soccer late, you'll have to convince one of us to do the feeding." "I'll help," Sophie piped up from her eggs and iPhone. She could text her friends at about a million words a minute Abbey assumed, the way her
fingers sped across the keyboard. "I love horses and I could feed them for you. You just have to pay me twenty dollars a month to do it." "Twenty dollars? That's one tenth of my income," Zach grumbled. "How about ten?" "Twenty, take it or leave it. I'll bet mom will charge more, or she'll make you do chores to pay for it," Sophie said, a smug smile on her face. "She sure takes after her mother," David said and winked at Abbey. "Guilty as charged," Abbey laughed. "Well Zach, what do you think? Do you want to share your profits with your sister if she helps you out?" "I guess so," Zach said, "it's probably easier than being your chore slave." He laughed when abbey rolled her eyes at him. "Then go for it," Abbey said, "it sounds like you've got this all figured out." She picked up her cup of coffee and inhaled deeply, enjoying her morning with the family. She felt as though every morning brought her more joy, and sometimes she worried that she was too satisfied, but she couldn't help it. Life had served her up enough helpings of pain and abuse, she deserved to enjoy the happiness it was giving them now. She’d had her fill of misery and darkness, the rest of her path was brightly lit and full of moments like this.
She had her moment of quiet serenity, and then like a switch was flipped, Pax tipped his plate over onto the floor, their cattle dog raced in chasing their big old fluffy cat, Zach grabbed Sophie's phone and the entire morning changed back to normal. Absolute chaos, beautiful chaos. The things that life was made of. David helped Abbey clean up and get everyone settle down and they finished up breakfast with the kids. After everyone was finished, she got David off to work, the kids off to the bus stop, and Pax down for his morning nap before she had a chance to tidy up the breakfast table. She watched the barnyard slowly go from darkness to being washed in sunlight, and took a break for herself on the back porch with a cherished second cup of coffee. The house was still in the middle of being renovated, as always, but it was coming along nicely. They'd added a lot of square footage on the ground floor and were working on a massive master suite upstairs. Her dad was coming over later today to help with some of their cows, he was always handy to call when they needed a hand. Much to her delight, he'd been recently seeing a local woman, the owner of a fabulous bakery in town so Abbey and the family were gifted fresh bread whenever Maria came out to see her dad.
David's family were completely devoted to Pax, but they never made it weird and always treated Zach and Sophie with equal love. Tom still maintained his distance, he and Candy seemed to be on and off over and over again, and Abbey didn’t mind him staying away. The kids had stopped asking about him long ago and both called David their dad, no questions asked. His parents were still involved though, and even sent Pax presents for his birthday and Christmas. Abbey’s insistence that all her children were treated equally went both ways too everyone in their lives. It felt good to have a backbone, to stand up for herself and her children. Fleeing Tom had done more for her than any self help book or therapist ever could have. Abbey heard the baby monitor crackle and Paxton began to sing a little song about his toes that he'd learned at daycare. It was perfect timing, she had to be in town to her shift at the Co-op in a couple hours and could drop Pax off for his afternoon preschool before her dad picked him up...right after he picked up Zach and Sophie from their schools. Life was so busy these days sometimes Abbey wondered if she and David would ever have time to spend together without the kids or farm or jobs or multitudes of things that needed their attention. They managed to sneak away for a night here
and there with her dad’s help and David’s parent’s help…but sometimes Abbey dreamed of a time when she and David were young and free and had their entire lives stretched out before them. She would never give up her life now, and she wouldn’t want to do it over again, but at times she regretted giving into the gloom and despair that had overcome her after the death of her mother. If she’d been able to see David for the man he was, even back then, she would have chosen differently. She would have chosen him. But life had a funny way of working itself out, and in this case, it had worked out perfectly. Pax started to cry in the other room and Abbey jumped up, set her coffee on the table next to her back-porch rocking chair and rushed into his bedroom. Once again her moment of musing disappeared as reality took over and she immersed herself fully into the hectic and utterly lusciousness that was her life.
A LSO BY A LEXA NDRIA HUNT
ALEXANDRIA HUNT READING LIST