Enlightened - Charlotte Michelle(ang.)

Table of Contents Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Two Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four Twenty-Five Twenty-Six Twenty-Seven Twenty-Eight Twenty-Nine Epilogue GET (5) FREE READS EVERY FRIDAY!

Enlightened By: Charlotte Michelle

Enlightened Copyright © 2017 by Charlotte Michelle. All rights reserved. First Print Edition: December 2017

Limitless Publishing, LLC Kailua, HI 96734 www.limitlesspublishing.com Formatting: Limitless Publishing ISBN-13: 978-1-64034-281-1 ISBN-10: 1-64034-281-8 No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any

resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead— is entirely coincidental.

Dedication A special thanks to my mom, Denise Hyde, for providing help in creating the lives of Dallas and Kayla, and to my grandfather, Ken Hyde, for inspiring me to become an author.

Table of Contents Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Epilogue

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Prologue *Dallas* Saturday, September 5, 2015. It was just like every other day in Aurora, Illinois. The sun was shining; it had just rained the night before, so the grass was green and damp. There was no sign of angst or disaster. It was supposed to be a wonderful day. I had the day off work. I wanted to spend my weekend with my family, especially my younger brother. Kyle was ambitious, and I was some sort of role model to him. I never understood why. I was selfish, arrogant, egotistical. I mistreated girls and had no regard for my teachers. I also hadn’t been making time to spend with my family, either. So why was my little

brother so keen on claiming I was his role model? Perhaps it’s because I’m the star basketball player at my school. Ever since he was five years old, Kyle would come to the courts and watch me shoot lay-ups and three-pointers. He was amazed, his big blue eyes taking in my every move. So around the age of seven, I started teaching him how to play. We needed another basketball player to carry on the Perkins’ legacy. Our father was an NCAA player for the Fighting Illini. He never made it to the pros. My mother wound up pregnant with me, and my father married her out of guilt. Kyle was quick to learn how to play basketball. It soon became customary to go to the courts and practice every Saturday night. However, when I started my job as a youth basketball referee, it became hard to carry out our tradition. But I requested Saturday, September 5th off specifically so we could hit the courts. It all should have been okay. Kyle was excited, as usual. And at the age of thirteen, he was getting good enough that he could hold his own against me. In fact, he beat me that game. Playing up to fifty points, Kyle won 50-47. It was a good game, and I was proud of him. Walking home was always gut-wrenching. I never fancied walking at night, not being able to see what was in front of me. Kyle was boasting that

walk home, jumping up and down, running forward while reenacting the moves he pulled on me. Kyle was about ten feet in front of me when a black SUV pulled up beside us. Everything then happened in slow motion. I looked over at the car. A gun was sticking out of the window. I looked back at Kyle. He was still throwing his hands up, pretending to shoot a perfect three-pointer. I yelled at him, screaming for him to run. A loud, echoing boom resonated in the air, chilling me to the bone. I had prayed, hoped the bullet would hit me. But when it didn’t, I was faced with the devastating reality that my kid brother was shot square in the chest, right through the heart. Tires screeched as they pulled away, and I ran forward, dropping to my knees to pull my brother into my grasp. I sobbed, begging for him to live as I screamed for help. It was twenty minutes later when the paramedics arrived, and my brother was placed on a gurney, a white sheet draped over him. Saturday, September 5, 2015. The day Kyle Lee Perkins was murdered and I lost my brother.

Chapter One Before *Kayla* August 29, 2015 “Kayla, would you put that thing down?” my mother scolds as she walks past me, heading toward the kitchen counter to grab her purse and car keys. I mumble incoherently, refusing to lift my eyes from the pages of the book. Just a few more lines and I’ll complete the chapter…just a few more… The book is plucked from my grasp, and I let out a groan, looking up to see my mom holding it, her

pointer finger wedged in between the pages to mark my spot. I bite my bottom lip, smiling sheepishly. She hates when I spend hours upon hours a day reading. But hey, I always look at it like this: I could be spending my time like every other high school student…getting drunk at chaotic parties or doing brain-killing, life-threatening drugs. She still doesn’t see it my way, however. “I have to go pick up your sister from rehearsal. Then we’re going to the grocery store. Do you want anything?” my mom asks, quirking an eyebrow. I stare at her for a moment. We share no resemblance…apart from our noses perhaps. Her hair is platinum blonde, and even though she dyes it, she was blonde from birth. Her eyes are a brilliant blue while mine are a dark hazel. She has paler skin that she goes to tanning salons to alter while my skin is naturally darker. She’s tall and thin, and I am short at five feet five inches and have a little more meat to my bones. I take after my dad, who was French and very much deceased. While my mother does a wonderful job supporting two children, I miss my father more than anything. However, he left both Katie and me a great deal of money for our future, ensuring we have a good start in life. “Oranges, please. And some more Captain Crunch cereal.” I flash my doting smile. My mother

shakes her head but seems to make a mental note of it. “All right. We’ll be back in about two hours.” I roll my eyes at how accurate she is. It takes a normal person an average of thirty minutes to shop. Meanwhile, it takes my mom a good two hours. “Hey!” she calls, and I lift from my thoughts, looking at my mom again. She points her Chevy Traverse key at me. “Don’t forget Kyle Perkins is coming over in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes, Kayla.” “Got it, Mom!” I salute her and hold out my hand for my book. She gives a little growl as she hands it back and leaves the house. Rolling my eyes, I open the book and proceed to the next chapter.

Kyle arrives at my house twenty-five minutes later, unusually tardy. I hold open the door as the teenager walks over the threshold and straight for the kitchen table. I lean against the doorframe and look at Mrs. Perkins, who offers me a soft smile. “I’m sorry we’re late. He’s had a rough day.” “It’s totally fine. No worries.” I wave it off, returning her smile. “All right. I was just called in to the hospital, so my eldest son, Dallas, will be picking Kyle up.

However, Dallas has to work today as well, at five. So the tutoring will have to be cut short by an hour. Is that okay?” Mrs. Perkins asks. I nod my head. Does she know she’s asking a teenager? One who desperately wants to spend the rest of her Saturday finishing Francine Rivers’ Redeeming Love? I’m totally fine with it, although I do enjoy Kyle’s company. Mrs. Perkins fishes through her purse and produces a fifty dollar bill. “I’ll still pay you in full.” She grins, a look of apology in her eyes. “Thank you.” “Bye, Kayla. Thank you again. Bye, Kyle! Behave!” she calls through the house. “Bye, Mrs. Perkins. Go save some lives.” She huffs and then turns to walk back to her car. Closing the door, I clap my hands and join Kyle in the kitchen. “You hungry, handsome?” I ask. Kyle is thirteen and looks much like his mom. His big blue eyes look up at me as he rests his chin on his crossed arms. I can tell by the expression on his face that something has happened. He has a look of sorrow. “Banana?” he asks. I nod my head and pluck a banana from the bunch. I also grab us each glasses of water before sitting across from Kyle. “Why so glum, chum?” I tilt my head to the side. Kyle accepts the banana and peels it from the

bottom. I scrunch my brows together. Noticing my expression, he says, “When you peel from the bottom, you avoid those nasty strings.” I watch as he does so and am astounded to see he’s right. The banana is clean, with no dangling strings. He takes a bite and leans back in the chair, staring intently at the table. I don’t say anything to him. He heard my question, and he’ll answer when he’s ready. So we sit for a good three minutes as he eats his banana and I sip my water. “Dallas works tonight. Again.” Dallas. Everyone at Waubonsie Valley High School knows that name, no matter what grade you’re in. He’s the all-star basketball player. He turned Waubonsie from a football school to a basketball school in a matter of three games his freshman year. We have won state twice with him as our captain, when he was a sophomore and junior. Now we’re aiming for our third this coming winter. Dallas Perkins is confident and egotistical. He always has his arm slung around the shoulders of some girl; every week it seems to be a different one. His best friends, Tyler and Mikey, are always by his side, and the three of them seem to run the school in an oh-so-cliché way as well. With his exceptional grades and his exemplary skills at basketball, Dallas is looking at a full ride at his top

school: University of Illinois. “He’s bailing on me again.” I frown, listening to Kyle. “He’s not able to play basketball again tonight?” I ask, even though I know the answer. Kyle nods his head, his mouth in a pout. I can tell he’s trying to control his emotions. “I know it’s hard to understand, Kyle, but your brother has responsibilities at his job. I’m sorry that it cuts into your time with him, however.” Kyle just simply shrugs. I let out a sigh and watch as he begins to dig his nail into the wood of our kitchen table. I know I should stop him. This is an expensive piece of furniture that my mom adores, but I can’t bring myself to trouble the boy further. “How about I play with you?” I ask suddenly. Kyle lifts his head, arching an eyebrow. “You? Play basketball?” The corner of his mouth lifts slightly, and I know he’s judging me. He thinks I can’t play. “I’ll have you know I’m a great basketball player.” I cross my arms over my chest, leaning back in my chair. “I’ll crush you,” he challenges. “Let’s find out.” Kyle’s eyes seem to brighten, and he nods his head quickly. “All right. Only if you finish your homework,” I bargain. Moving quickly, Kyle unzips his backpack and

pulls out his homework, slamming it on the kitchen table. Together, we attack his studies.

We finish his history homework just as the doorbell rings. I smile and ruffle Kyle’s hair as I hop to my feet and jog to the door, pulling it open. “He did great today, Mrs. Per—” I cut myself off when my eyes land on Dallas. Stupid. And I knew he was coming too… Dallas offers me a bored look as he takes in my appearance. I’m wearing black sweatpants and a gray Star Wars shirt. My hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail, and I flush, understanding that I look mediocre next to him. “Kyle! Let’s go!” Dallas shouts, his blond hair falling across his forehead. He flips it to the side and shoves his hands into the pockets of his black skinny jeans. I gulp, watching as the muscle cords in this arms flex as he does so. He is definitely a fit teenager. “Are you done?” he snaps, bringing me from my thoughts. I lift my eyes to blush even redder. He caught me staring. Lord, take me now. “Dallas! Kayla is taking me to play basketball at seven tonight! Isn’t that awesome?” Kyle cheers as he shows up beside me, throwing a punch to my

arm. I jolt, instinctively rubbing the spot he just hit. Dallas snorts. “Should be fun.” He looks amused, and I’m sure he doubts my ability to play, just as his younger brother had a few hours ago. “Let’s go. I have to work.” Kyle’s smile drops. “I know you do,” he grumbles, walking out of the house. “See you at seven!” Kyle yells over his shoulder as Dallas leads him toward his dark green Jeep Wrangler. Dallas shoots me a look from across the yard as he gets into the car, almost threatening me. Stay away from my kid brother.

That night, Kyle and I played to forty points. I beat him 40-38. Kyle is a really good player for his age. I even took the liberty of showing him some new moves that he could use on his brother. Sometimes being short is an advantage. And Kyle is quick. I haven’t a doubt in my mind that the next time they play, Kyle could beat Dallas. As I drive Kyle back to his house, I make a silent promise that whenever Dallas can’t play, I will fill his spot. Kyle has a love for the game, an undying passion. It should be fueled as much as possible, and if I am needed, I’ll help bring this boy up so that perhaps one day, he will be greater than

Dallas.

Chapter Two Denial *Dallas* September 21, 2015 I roll out of bed this Monday morning feeling anew. No sad thoughts enter my mind as I pad over to my bathroom and take a quick shower. When I get out, I brush my teeth and proceed to my usual morning routines. I dress in tight khaki pants and a plain black tshirt. I slip on my black Chuck Taylors, and after I perfectly style my hair, I head downstairs, where I

see my mom sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of hot coffee in her hand. She is still dressed in her purple robe, her sad brown eyes staring into space. When she hears me, her head lifts, and our eyes meet. Her emotionless face takes up a look of confusion as she looks me up and down. “What are you doing?” “Going to school.” I shrug, leaning over the counter to grab an apple from our fruit bowl. “What? Why would you be going to school? Your brother just die—” “Still have to get good grades. Basketball is just around the corner,” I say, not listening to what she was saying. My mother begins to rant incoherently, talking about how Kyle was dead and how we need to stick together and mourn, but I’m already hiking my backpack over my shoulder. I walk over and kiss my mom on the forehead; however, she doesn’t stop trying to convince me to stay. “Love you, Mom,” I mumble and run out of the house before she physically locks me in the house. I understand why she wants me to stay home. But Kyle wants me to be a professional basketball player. He wants me to get good grades and take our team to State again this year. This is what he wants. I climb into my Jeep Wrangler. The top is still off from the summer, so the wind blows viciously

as I drive to school, parking in the middle of the lot. Students chat as they walk into the building, many of the girls holding Starbucks cups from the local shop just down the street. Rolling my eyes, I hop out of the car and walk toward the school. I feel numerous eyes on me, all wide with shock and sorrow. I ignore them, hurrying to my locker where I know Mikey and Tyler will be waiting. We always meet at my locker in the morning. Tyler is there, leaning against the lockers with his arms crossed over his chest. His chestnut brown hair hangs in front of his eyes, and when he hears me approaching, he looks up. “Oh shit,” he mumbles. I arch an eyebrow and quickly twist the dial on my locker. “You’re here.” “Observant as always, Tyler.” I give him a clap on the shoulder, tossing him a smile. “W-what are you doing here? You should be home…” I shake my head, grabbing my Government book and a few notebooks. “I’m fine. I need to be here.” I look around the hall, my eyebrows furrowed. “Where’s Mikey?” Tyler scratches the back of his neck. “Home. Hasn’t been here since the funeral. I wouldn’t be either if my grades were as good as his. So again, why the hell are you here, Dallas?” I scoff. Of course Mikey is home. He was always close with Kyle. I think he looked at him as a little brother. So did Tyler. Perhaps they were

better brothers than I ever was… “Basketball,” I reply. “Dallas!” someone yells. I roll my head to the side and put on my brightest smile as Ashley bounds down the hall, giggling. She throws her arms around my neck. “Welcome back, baby. We’ve missed you!” Ashley’s blonde hair tickles my nose as she clings to me. I gently push her back, and she instantly places a kiss to my lips. “I’ve missed you too,” I lie. I totally forgot about Ashley while I was gone. After the funeral, I haven’t seen her, and she never once crossed my mind. I felt a little guilty about it but decided to brush the thought away. “Come on. We’re gonna be late,” Tyler mutters, hitting my arm, and the three of us walk to Government class, my arm slung over Ashley’s shoulders. She’s smiling widely, not knowing that I will soon be breaking off whatever it is we have going on. I honestly don’t want to date anyone right now. I need to focus on basketball and getting to the NCAA. Having a girlfriend will definitely keep me back.

“Does anyone know what Pavlov’s Theory is?” Mrs. White asks.

The class is silent as I lean back against my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. Psychology is one of my favorite classes; however, I have no idea what she’s talking about. I clearly missed a lot while I was away. “Classical conditioning.” Everyone turns to the quiet voice in the back of the room. My eyes narrow in on Kayla Williams, the mousy girl who tutored Kyle. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail as usual, and she’s wearing a large sweatshirt and a pair of faded flare jeans with red Chuck Taylors. “It was where he tested dogs…if they would salivate from the ring of a bell.” “Correct.” Everyone turns back to the teacher; however, I keep my eyes glued on Kayla. I always wondered why Kyle liked her. He would come home, talking about how nice and pretty his tutor was. I just never saw it. And when he claimed she beat him in basketball, I was almost offended. She beat my brother, the boy crafted from my own skill? It’s almost as if she beat me, and I was not okay with it. No girl will beat the Perkins brothers. As if feeling my eyes on her, she lifts her head, and her hazel eyes meet mine. I tense for a moment before I turn away. I curse myself for mentally agreeing with Kyle. She was sort of pretty.

Tyler sits beside me at the lunch table, chowing on his slice of pizza. I play with my plate full of grapes as I stare down at the table. Neither of us have spoken, only enjoying each other’s presence. Ashley is talking obnoxiously about her weekend, getting a mani-pedi with her best friend, Shannon. I glance over at Ashley, wondering how I will be able to break the news to her. I have broken many girls’ hearts before. But I’m not in the mood to see anymore tears. Shaking my head, I promise myself I’ll do it tomorrow. I pop a green grape in my mouth and gaze across the cafeteria, my eyes landing on a familiar face. She’s sitting with her best friend…I can’t remember her name…Anna? Annie? Haley? I mentally shrug as I watch Kayla bite the tip of her pointer finger as her eyes slide across the page of her book. Her facial expressions tell me exactly what is happening in the book. There is a mixture of happiness and comedy as her face lights up. Occasionally, she lifts her eyes to look at her friend and grin, laughing at the joke. I come to the conclusion that she has a great smile. I bite the inside of my cheek, silently punishing myself for thinking that. I don’t know why, but I feel as if I should hate her with everything inside

me. Aside from me, Kayla was the closest person to Kyle. Maybe even more so than Mikey and Tyler. Kyle told Kayla things he would never tell me. I know because he always left her house with a smile, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He always seemed overly happy with her, and I envied their relationship. That is why I requested September 5th off. To spend time with my brother and rekindle our relationship. I did it because I was jealous of Kayla. Kyle is dead because I was jealous of a girl. I growl and stand from the table, marching over to Kayla’s table. When I get there, I call her name. She only holds up a finger. “One minute,” she whispers, continuing on with her reading. I grit my teeth, shuffling on my feet. When she’s done, she closes the book gently and looks up at me, her beautiful eyes meeting mine. “Dallas,” she greets, offering a sympathetic smile. “How’s your mom?” I’m taken back by her question, yet I don’t let it get in the way. She needs to know. “It’s your fault,” I say. Kayla’s eyes widen as she slightly tilts her head. “What do you mean?” Her voice is soft, gentle, begging me to be nice to her. “It’s your fault he’s dead.” I keep my face hard, glaring at her, as if I am glaring into her soul. Kayla seems to stiffen at my words, her mouth gaping as she looks me up and down. “I-I’m so

sorry, Dallas. I didn’t mean any harm.” “You just had to play basketball with him, didn’t you? You couldn’t leave the one thing my brother and I had to us, could you? You had to steal him from me!” “No. No, Dallas. Your brother loved you so much. He idolized you!” she says, trying desperately to calm me, to help me. Why isn’t she livid or hurt? Why is she accepting everything I am saying? “I hate you.” “That’s enough. I think you should leave.” I look over to see Annie/Anna/Haley rising to stand in from of me, blocking my view of Kayla. “There’s been enough heartbreak. No need to harm anyone else, okay, Dallas?” I squint at her before I shake my head and turn to walk back, only to stop on my first step and turn to Kayla. “Next time you take Kyle to play basketball, I’m coming with. So I can prove the Perkins don’t lose. Especially not to a girl.” Without another word, I go back to Tyler, sitting beside him. He raises his eyebrows, giving me a silent question; however, I don’t respond. I only shake my head and pop another grape in my mouth. I look at Kayla again from across the cafeteria to see her swipe a hand under her eye. She shakes her head and says something to her friend before she stands up and exits the cafeteria. When she walks

past me, I can hear a gentle sob leave her lips. I can’t help but hate myself for making her cry. But why?

The basketball courts are quiet. The night is cool as I step onto the asphalt, moving to center court. I drop down and sit on the cool ground, wrapping my arms around my knees as I feel tears blur my vision. I look up at the basketball hoop and bite my bottom lip. Ever since Kyle was seven, we have been coming to these courts to train him to become a huge basketball star. After six years, it’s all gone just like that. By one gunshot, one second. Everything can change in one moment. My brother will never play basketball at Waubonsie. He will never know what it feels like to win a basketball game. He will never fall in love or get his first kiss. Kyle will never go to Homecoming or Prom. Will never get married or have his own son to teach basketball to. I will never again have a brother to grow up with. It was all lost that night. And no matter how irrational it is, I blame Kayla. I hate her for what she has done. She practically forces me to bring him back, to show him that I was still his brother and that I cared

about him more than she ever could.

Chapter Three Anger *Kayla* September 22, 2015 Yesterday was my first day back at school after the death of Kyle Perkins. I was actually quite surprised when I saw Dallas walk into our Psychology class. I’m sure his parents need him more than the school does. We could have survived another week without the presence of Dallas Perkins. Well, everyone aside from Ashley Delta.

She was overjoyed to be reunited with her boyfriend. However, I could see the way he looked at her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walks in today with puffy eyes and a red nose. It is almost a guarantee that her heart will be broken in due time. I know Dallas tried to break my heart, break me, by everything he said to me yesterday at lunch. I was okay with him yelling at me. I was okay with him blaming me for his brother’s death. I was not okay that he could so easily dismiss the fact that his brother idolized him. That he thought so little of Kyle. I was also not okay with him thinking I intentionally sought the take Dallas’ place in Kyle’s life. I couldn’t hold it against him, however. He was hurt, and he needed someone to blame. However, I can’t help but get the feeling that Kyle’s death hasn’t fully sunk in with him. Why was he so willing to go to school? And what did he mean by “next time you take Kyle to play basketball, I’m coming with”? There wasn’t going to be a next time. I went to the basketball courts last night, in some sort of way to reconnect with Kyle. I missed him not coming to our tutor session that Saturday before the incident. I never knew how much I relied on him. Without him coming every Saturday, it feels as if something is missing in my week. In my life. I can’t imagine how it is for the Perkins family.

They must be fighting every day just to get out of bed, knowing they will never make their son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a package of string cheese and a bag of green grapes for lunch. Or wash his clothes, or make his bed. They will never take him to get a haircut again or…watch him play basketball as a Waubonsie Warrior. A lone tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I was always so excited to see Kyle exceed his brother’s skill in basketball. I was ready to have him become a Chicago Bulls player. However, it is never going to happen, and it’s a cold, hard reality to face. Dallas was at the courts, sitting at center circle, his arms hooked around his legs and forehead pressed against his knees. The sight was gut wrenching, especially when I saw a sob rack through him. Not wanting to disturb him, I turned and headed back to my house. Dallas deserved to be with Kyle more than I did at the moment. I promised myself that I would return. Snapping back into the present, I open my book and return to reading, leaning back against the tree at the edge of the school courtyard. Lunch is only halfway through, and I decided to spend the rest of it outside, enjoying the weather while it’s still warm. A few other students are with me, chattering quietly. Ignoring them, I finish the chapter and continue to the next.

Before I could get through the first line, I hear a collection of yelling and screaming. Lifting my head, my eyes connect with two men tackling and fighting. “You think you can just shove me?!” I hear a thud, and I wince, knowing the poor man just got the end of Dallas’s fist. “Without apologizing?” Another thud. I get to my feet, dropping my book where I sat, and lightly jog over to see Dallas straddling David Wood. He delivers another punch, and I see blood running down David’s face. David lifts his hands to block the fists, and I feel as if I’m going to be sick. What is Dallas doing? All because of a shove? Dallas grabs David by the collar of his shirt and pulls him up only to knock him down again with another punch. Deciding I have to do something, considering all the other bystanders aren’t interfering, I run over and grab Dallas by the shoulders, yanking him off David. Dallas hits the ground, holding a look of surprise on his face until he sees it’s me and squints. He quickly stands to his feet and towers over me, hands balled into fists. “Move,” he growls. “No.” I stand my ground, crossing my arms over my chest, blocking Dallas from getting to David, who is slowly rising to a sitting position. “If you want to get to him, you’ll have to get through me.”

Dallas arches a brow. “You think I won’t hit a girl? I will gladly knock your teeth in,” he snaps. By the look in his eyes, I have a feeling he’s right. But I know Mrs. Perkins. I know she would never raise kids who would abuse women. I also don’t think she’d raise kids who fought innocent people, either. Perhaps I am mistaken and Dallas will knock my teeth in. “Go ahead,” I say, surprised my voice is strong and not wavering. I’m shaking with fear on the inside. Dallas stares at me for a long moment, his blue eyes darker than usual. They’re not sky blue like the typical Perkins eyes. They carry a desire for revenge, and it chills me to the bone. Dallas grunts and runs a hand through his hair, leaving a thin trail of blood in his blond locks. “Bitch,” he mutters before turning and walking away, only to stop dead in his tracks. I look over my shoulder to see Mr. Gonzalez-Andrews, a math teacher, standing there with Mr. Hathaway, our principal. They are glaring sharply at Dallas, who lets out a groan. “Let’s go. Principal’s office. Kayla, could you take David to the nurse, please?” I let out a sigh but nod my head, reaching a hand down to David. He gratefully takes it, and I help walk him to the nurse’s office, his arm slung around my shoulder. “Thank you,” he moans, wincing in pain as he

speaks. I only nod my head. He doesn’t have to mention it. I am happy to help him.

I swing my purple key chain around my pointer finger as I walk toward my silver Toyota Solara convertible. I unlock the car and throw my backpack in the trunk. As I open the driver’s door, it is harshly slammed shut, and I jump back, gasping. I look over my shoulder to see Dallas standing there, his face holding nothing but anger. I gulp, leaning against my car and crossing my arms. “Nice day, isn’t it? I’m thinking of taking my car around, top down, feeling the nice breeze in my hair. How about you? You going to go on a cruise? I bet Jeeps are fun to drive in the summer. No doors, no roof. Perfect,” I babble, biting my bottom lip as I stare Dallas in the eyes. I swear, on my father’s grave, that his tight mouth slightly quirked up in amusement. I call that a win. “What you did was gravely stupid, Kayla. If you hadn’t been a girl, I would have knocked you senseless,” he grumbles. “But I thought you were willing to hit girls?” I snip back at him. This time, Dallas does smile. But not a friendly ha-ha-I-think-you’re-funny smile. More like don’t-talk-back-to-me-or-I-will-murder-

your-family smile. “Don’t be smart with me. I severely hate you right now.” “Why? I don’t understand what I ever did to make you hate me. The first time we spoke was when you picked Kyle up from my hou—” I let out a squeak, and Dallas roughly shoves me into my car, his arm pressed against my chest. He leans into me, glowering. “Do not say his name. You don’t get to say his name. Not anymore.” My eyes are wide with fear, but all I do is nod and bite my bottom lip. Dallas squints before he eases up. “He liked me. He wanted us to meet,” I whisper. Dallas’s jaw ticks as he looks over my car, staring at nothing. I let out a sigh. “He loved you more than anyone. I didn’t steal him, Dallas. I was just trying to help you.” “Me? You were trying to help me?” he snarls, his dark blue eyes meeting mine again. I nod like an idiot, gulping. Students walk by us, only slowing down for a fraction of a second to watch us before scurrying off, not wanting to be a part of this. “Yes. I knew how important it was to you. It’s your sport. However, you had other responsibilities. I was just trying to help, so you didn’t feel like you were letting him down by not being able to help him every Saturday. I’m so sorry, Dallas. I wasn’t

thinking. I-I was just trying to help.” I hiccup a sob as I force the words to leave my lips, my eyes watering with tears. Dallas looks down at me, his eyes softening slightly, and I can’t help but feel relieved. Perhaps I am getting through to him. I don’t want us to be enemies. Kyle meant too much to the both of us that we can’t soil his memory by fighting with one another. He wouldn’t want that. “Have a good day, Kayla,” he says and then turns and walks away, not saying another word. I sigh and hang my head as sudden exhaustion overtakes me. That took more out of me than I care to admit.

When I get home, my mom and Katie are sitting at the kitchen table, working on a puzzle. Dallas seemed to have held me up longer than I thought. Katie is in middle school; she never gets home before me, considering her school gets out a good thirty minutes after mine. “Hey baby!” my mom calls. I drop my backpack by the stairs, kick off my flip-flops, and slowly walk over to sit beside my sister. I ruffle her hair gently and place a kiss to her cheek. She groans and wipes it off. “Hey, Mama.”

“Tough day?” she asks. “Exciting day. Exhausting day.” I reach over and grab a puzzle piece, placing it in its spot. I peek up at my mom, and she offers me a sad smile. “How are you doing, sweetie?” “I’m fine. Actually, I’m going to lie down. Wake me up when it’s Vikings time,” I say and head upstairs, picking up my backpack along the way. Flopping on my bed, I let out a sigh as I look up at the ceiling, shaking my head. What a crazy day. I will never be able to figure Dallas out…even though I have a feeling I will be seeing a lot more of him.

Chapter Four Bargain *Dallas* September 23, 2015 Mikey has finally showed up to school today, leaning against my locker with Tyler beside him. They are softly talking, their expressions solemn. Mikey steps away from my locker as I dial it open, grabbing my Government book and notebooks. “Hey, Mikey,” I say softly, not wanting to disturb the peace. When I look up at my friend, he offers me an acknowledging nod.

“We heard about yesterday,” Tyler says. I arch an eyebrow and hike my backpack up on my shoulder as I stand straight. “The fight you got into with David Wood.” Mikey answers my silent question. “Then there were whispers about you holding Kayla Williams in a choke hold.” I scoff and roll my eyes. I would hardly call it a choke hold. Rumors definitely exaggerate. “David shoved me,” I mumble, explaining, but as the words leave my lips, I understand that I overreacted. “Kayla deserved what she got.” Mikey shakes his head and turns to walks away without another word. “What’s his deal?” I ask Tyler. Tyler claps a hand on my shoulder, and we walk toward our Government class. “Mikey doesn’t agree with what you did. Picking a worthless fight and abusing an innocent girl? It’s not like you, Dallas.” “She killed Kyle, Ty,” I nearly hiss, shaking my head. “We both know that’s not true. The person who killed Kyle is some guy who drives a black Ford Expedition. Kayla is just a quiet bookworm,” Tyler responds. “If it wasn’t for Kayla, we wouldn’t have been at the courts,” I tell Tyler. He scoffs. “No. You wouldn’t be at the courts. But Kayla

and Kyle would have been. And Kayla would have been the one to have witnessed Kyle’s death. You were the last one with him. Consider yourself blessed, Dallas, and stop patronizing that poor girl who only ever helped your family.” Tyler’s tone was resolute. He was finished with that subject. I know it’s still a tender topic to him. “Sounds like you’re in love with the girl,” I mutter, pulling open the door to our Government class. Tyler doesn’t respond, only giving me a confused look. As if, is what his expression is telling me. I chuckle softly, and together we take our usual seats in the back of the class. Ashley shoots me a glare from the row in front of us, shaking her head. I broke up with her last night, and she still seems hung up on it. Didn’t she know when we started dating that I didn’t want anything serious? It’s hard for me to have a relationship when my life revolves around basketball. It’s not fair to the girl, and I make it clear with them straight up. I offer her an apologetic smile, but other than that, I turn my attention to the front of the class. The entire lesson goes through one ear and out the other.

Kayla knows her psychology. Throughout the class, she’s the one who answers most of the questions. She even proves the teacher wrong at one point, causing a student in the front to look it up on their phone. I have never seen a teacher so embarrassed. Mrs. White blushes red and tells Kayla she earned five extra credit points on the upcoming test. I am in awe. I never thought Kayla read anything other than the books she has in her hands. But she actually pays attention in class and knows the material. Kyle was in good hands with her. During lunch, Kayla is leaning against the same tree as yesterday, her eyes gliding across her books. She twirls a strand of hair around her finger, which is pulled into a ponytail. Today, she’s dressed in jean shorts and a pink Vneck t-shirt. She’s wearing white flip-flops, and I can see her toes are painted either a dark blue or purple. Her fingernails are adorned in a chipping pink polish, and I can’t help but smirk. She doesn’t care to keep up her appearance. Chipping nail polish doesn’t amount to the end of the world for her, as it does for most of the girls in our school. “Kayla!” I look up from where I’m sitting against my own tree, across the courtyard from Kayla. But I can see wonder in her eyes as she looks for the source of her disturbance. “Kayla!” her best friend screams.

“Anne,” Kayla sighs as Anne runs toward her, dropping and sliding to be positioned beside Kayla. “Guess what!” “What?” Kayla asks, her voice quieting as a silly smile plays on her lips. I don’t hear Anne’s response, but I see Kayla’s features brighten. She looks around the courtyard, her eyes landing on me for a brief moment. She gives me a slight nod before Anne captures her attention again. Kayla lets out a tremendous laugh, throwing her head back as her body rocks forward. She has to clasp a hand on Anne’s shoulder to steady herself, and her book tumbles off her lap. I have to admit that I like her laugh. It’s infectious. I even find myself smiling. “No!” Kayla yells, lightly bouncing up and down as she can’t stop laughing. I close my eyes, daring to let the thought that Kyle was right cross my mind. It would have been great to have met Kayla with Kyle present. Perhaps the three of us could have played basketball together. We might have been close friends. I would give anything to have Kyle here. To have him dragging me by the hand and forcing me to sit beside Kayla and have an actual conversation with her. I would even give up basketball just to be able to see him one more day. There is so much I would like to say to him. I

never wanted Kyle to doubt my love for him. He was my all-time best friend. There was no one else I would rather spend time with than him. But I guess basketball was an exception, wasn’t it? I was always able to push Kyle aside so I could make it to basketball practice. And all the games ensured that I hardly had time spared for him. A tear gathers in my eye, and I bow my head to wrap my arms around my legs. I would give basketball up in a heartbeat. I would quit my job and even devote to my studies. Whatever I need to do, I will do it. I just want to see him again. I want to see his bright smile, his big blue eyes. Hear his soft laugh. Feel his warm hugs. “Dallas.” I lift my head up to see Kayla standing over me. I can see the glow of laughter on her face as she squats before me, her eyes holding concern. “Are you okay?” I shake my head and blink my tear free, feeling it roll down my cheek. Her brows dip as she frowns before she sits cross-legged in front of me. She’s quiet for a moment. “I miss him,” she says softly. I lift my eyes to see her cross her arms. “I miss him. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, Dallas.” What am I going through? It’s odd. There are times when I feel as if nothing has happened. Then there is now, when a sudden sadness overcomes me and all I want to do is beg God to give me a second

chance. To give me another chance with Kyle. “How’s your mom?” Kayla asks. “Sad. Not happy that I’m coming to school,” I respond truthfully. “Then why are you here? Why are you not with your family?” she asks boldly. No one ever questions my decisions. “I thought it was something Kyle would have wanted. For me to continue my education and prepare for basketball.” I feel as if my mouth is moving of its own accord, and I’m just spewing my answers out to her. Why am I? I don’t trust her. I don’t know her. Kayla is just another girl, albeit one that knew Kyle, but she has no connection to me. “But I now understand that all he ever wanted was to be with me. I think he used basketball as a way to grow closer with me,” I tell her. Kayla furrows her eyebrows and nods her head. “He loved basketball because of you. It was something you both shared,” Kayla says. She sounds as though she knows so much. How much did Kyle confide in her? Kayla fiddles with her fingers, her head bowed, and we again sit in silence. I am thankful for her company. I don’t know why I used to think it was something I would detest. Kyle was right when he said she’s nice and friendly. I just never fully acknowledged what he

had to say. “He would like this,” she says. I lift my head and see a tear roll down her cheek. Kayla loved Kyle, too. Just in a different way. “That we’re talking. He always wanted us to talk.” Kayla’s voice is shaky, and I know she’s trying to keep her emotions in check. “You can say his name, Kayla.” It was wrong of me to ever tell her that she can’t. Who am I to enforce such a thing? Kayla smiles at me. “Do you know what Kyle told me once?” “Hmm. What?” I ask, leaning my head back against the tree. It’s almost as if Kyle never died, listening her talk about him. As if just yesterday they had a conversation about how Kyle wanted Kayla and I to get acquainted. Kayla snorts a gentle laugh. “He told me that he wanted us to get married. So that two of his favorite people would be in his life forever. I think he just wanted me as a sister.” I let out a soft chuckle, which leads Kayla into a full laughing session. I tilt my head to see Kayla doing her rocking laugh, her eyes squeezed shut. It’s official. I really enjoy Kayla’s laugh. And I would do well to ensure that I hear it again soon.

“How was school?” my mom asks as I shut the front door. I walk into the living room and sit beside her on the couch. Her blue eyes meet mine as she wears a frown. “It was actually pretty good. But I was wondering if I could take the rest of the week off? So I can help you with Kyle’s things,” I say. Kayla had offered me my mother’s perspective. She made it clear that my mother needed me home, to help with putting some of Kyle’s belongings in boxes. My father has barely shown his face since the funeral, not that he was ever around much to begin with. He comes home late at night and then leaves early in the morning. My mom is home alone, and it was wrong of me to leave her as my father has. She needs me right now, and I will do well to not let her down again. “That would be great. Thank you,” she whispers, reaching over to caress my cheek, running her fingers through my hair and around my ear. I subconsciously lean into her touch. “You seem relieved today.” “I had a good talk with Kayla Williams.” “Hmm. She’s a good girl. How is she doing? Kyle was close to her.” I can’t help but notice her voice cracks when she spoke my brother’s name. She usually can’t get it out and breaks into a fit of sobs.

But just now she was able to say his name with no falter. “She’s having a hard time as well. It was nice to talk to someone who can tell me something about Kyle. Something that doesn’t revolve around basketball,” I say. My mom smiles, and she leans over to lay her head on my shoulder. “Yes. You’ll find a good friend in that girl, Dallas. But she must be different from your usual girl…friends.” She tilts her head to look at me. I gaze down at her, squinting in question. “If you have ill intentions with her, then you best leave her be. I know you don’t do relationships. Don’t break her heart.” I nod my head in agreement. My mother doesn’t know, but I want nothing less than to break Kayla’s heart. I wish to see her smile every day, especially if it is I who puts it there.

Chapter Five Depression *Kayla* September 26, 2015 It’s been three weeks since Kyle Perkins was killed. And while it gets easier with every day, it’s almost as if it’s a refresh on Saturdays. I half expect him to run through my front door, his backpack hanging on one shoulder. He would have a stupid grin on his face, and his blue eyes would be exceptionally bright. I am reminded how much I relied on my time

with Kyle on Saturdays. It was foolish of me to think for a second that I’d rather read than be with him. I’m glad I never cancelled a tutoring session, even when I was close to death with the flu. Time is precious, and so are the people we fill it with. I sit at the kitchen table, in the seat Kyle usually occupied. I dig my nail into the faint design Kyle had crafted three weeks ago. My mother wouldn’t notice it, but I know it is there and I seek out the design. I trace it until it is more prominent, and an infinity sign is staring back at me. This design will forever be carved into the wood. As Kyle will forever be carved into my heart. “Kayla.” I lift my head to see Katie standing in front of me. She has our mother’s blue eyes. Her hair is dirty blonde, growing darker with age. Soon she’ll enter high school and take it upon herself to dye her hair blonde. I personally find the natural look to be absolutely stunning. Katie has a natural beauty. Hopefully she’ll understand that she won’t need makeup or all the stylish clothing to stand out. Her personality and skill as a dancer does that all on its own. “Do you want to go to The Village Grind?” Katie asks. I arch an eyebrow, looking at the time. It’s one in the afternoon. She has rehearsal in twenty minutes. Why isn’t she dressed and ready to go?

“What about your dance—” “I begged Mom to let me have the day off. I told her I wanted to spend time with you. Saturdays are going to be hard for a while, and I just want to help you through some of them,” Katie says, a small smile adorning her face. She truly is the most selfless thirteen year old I know. Young teenagers usually only want to hang out with friends and think spending time with family is dreadful. However, Kyle and Katie never saw it that way. Family is important to them. Katie knew of Kyle. They had a few classes together, but they were never friends. Katie was never here when Kyle came over, she was always at rehearsal, but without a doubt, I know they would have been great friends. “Okay. That sounds great. Thank you, Katie.” I reach over and pull her into a quick hug before I get to my feet and search for a pair of flip-flops. “Can we drive with the top down?” I smile, nodding my head. It’s going to start getting cold soon. So I take every opportunity I can get to drive with the top down. Even if I have to be decked out in a coat and hat. Getting into my Solara, I hastily lower the top and wait for Katie to get in before backing out of the garage and down the driveway. The drive to Oswego is a good fifteen minutes;

however, listening to music seems to quicken the drive. Katie doesn’t disappoint as she belts the lyrics to Twenty One Pilots’ new hit “Stressed Out.” It is one of our favorite songs. We listen to the new album, Blurryface, every time we get in the car together. Regrettably, I admit it is not as often as I’d hope. Katie sang along to the song perfectly, never stumbling over the words. We get to the small, quaint town of downtown Oswego. The buildings are old fashioned, and everyone knows everyone. It is more common than not to walk down the street and be given a few hellos from familiar faces. I park in front of the coffee shop and decide to leave the top down as we file out of the car, after locking away my I-Pass and auxiliary cord in my glove compartment. I open the door, and a gentle jingle of bells alerts our presence. Katie orders an Iced White Mocha Moe, and I decide to get the same thing, except hot. We both grab a pastry as well, and I hand over a twenty, telling the girl taking our order to keep the change. Katie and I take our normal spot in the back of the shop, where we can’t be disturbed. The Village Grind is a small shop built out of an old house. It has a rustic aura, and all around are

elegant knickknacks. There are assortments of different table sets, ones you’d usually find in a 1990s kitchen. Everyone is so friendly, and there is a sense of hospitality here. “How’s dance going?” I ask Katie. She shrugs her shoulders as she takes a bite of her pumpkin cake. “It’s okay. I’m enjoying hip hop more than ballet, although Mother wishes it were the opposite,” she answers, taking a sip of her drink. Katie is a remarkable dancer. I usually envy her. She is talented at something, has a passion for a talent that could turn into a career. All I have are my books and no idea for the future. “You do what makes you happy, Kate. All that matters is your happiness. It’s your happiness that will bring you a promising future. Not Mother’s.” Katie grins, shaking her head. I take a bite of my chocolate cake, smiling back at her. Katie and I have always gotten along; however, we aren’t necessarily close. She’s always busy dancing or with schoolwork, and I am typically hanging out with Anne or locked in my room with my nose in a book. “Thank you, Katie, for taking me away from what would have been another very lonely Saturday.” Katie shrugs again, sipping at her drink. “I don’t mind. Besides, a day away from dance was well needed,” she replies.

We’re silent for a moment, enjoying each other’s company. She sometimes takes out her phone to respond to a message but always ends up tucking it in her pocket. Katie isn’t the type of teenager who splurges on her phone while with family. She is respectful and truly wishes to spend time with the people accompanying her. “How’s Dallas?” she suddenly asks. I lift my head and look into her blue eyes. “He’s struggling. He’s trying to put up a good front for everyone. But I can see the inner battle he has every day. He’s having a hard time.” “You need to be there for him, Kayla. He needs a friend,” Katie says, scratching an itch on her cheek. “He has friends, Kate,” I reply. Honestly, I am the last person Dallas Perkins needs. He has made it abundantly clear he wants nothing to do with me. Aside from last Wednesday, when we had an actual conversation in the courtyard, all Dallas has spoken to me are threats. I’m not sure if that one moment in the courtyard changed anything or not. He hasn’t been to school since I suggested he take the rest of the week off to help his mother. Come Monday, will he look at me as a friend? Or am I still the girl who killed Kyle in his eyes? I am secretly dreading Psychology, where we’ll be in the same room together. “His friends don’t understand his loss.”

“No. No. Tyler and Mikey were close to Kyle. They feel the burden of the loss on their hearts as well. I can assure you that,” I respond. Katie opens her mouth but is cut off by my ringtone. I grab my phone from the table and furrow my brows. “It’s Mrs. Perkins. I’m sorry, Katie. It’ll just take a moment.” I stand, answering the phone, and hold it to my ear. “Hello, Mrs. Perkins.” “Kayla. Oh, thank goodness. Is Dallas with you?” I’m shocked by her question. Why would Dallas be with me? “No. He’s not.” “It’s just that I know you guys are getting closer, and I figured you might know where he is. He walked out of the house early this morning and hasn’t returned.” I look over at Katie, who seems to sense the tension. Her spine is straight as she arches an eyebrow. I offer her a small smile to reassure her. However, I am nervous. Dallas is missing, two weeks after Kyle’s death. He’s broken and alone. He could do something stupid. He probably is doing something stupid. “Do you know where he could be?” she asks, bringing me back to the present. “Yes. I have an idea. I’ll drive over there now,” I tell her. Mrs. Perkins really doesn’t need to have any more stress or worries on her shoulders.

“Thank you so much, sweetie!” We hang up, and when I look back at Katie, she’s already on her feet, drink and plates in hand. “Let’s go.” She nods to the door. I smile slightly, glad that she’s understanding as I grab my drink, and together we rush out of the shop, dropping off the plates on our way. We hop into the car and quickly speed away. I don’t even bother to put music on as we drive toward the only place I can think Dallas would be at today. The park only holds a young couple and a man walking a dog. The basketball courts are empty aside from a man sitting at center circle, back curved and facing us. I know it’s Dallas. I park the car and tell Katie to wait here. Jogging over to Dallas, I stop a few feet away when I see a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a switchblade in the other. My eyes widen, and I feel chills prick my spine. “Dallas?” I whisper softly. What is he doing? It’s broad daylight. Is he wanting to get arrested? I look around the park and see it has cleared out. The young couple is no longer in sight. I let out a sigh and crouch down beside him. “Dallas? Can you talk to me?” He doesn’t respond. He only looks down at the blade in his hand, twirling it around his fingers. His blond hair falls across his forehead, slightly in his eyes, but he

doesn’t make a move to fix it. I notice tear stains on his cheeks, as to be expected. “Okay. Can you at least put the knife down?” I ask. He still doesn’t respond. I bite my bottom lip and look back over at my car to see Katie is now out and standing beside it, her arms crossed. “Can I have the bottle of whiskey?” I ask. “Do you want some?” he mumbles, his words slurred. Dallas still doesn’t lift his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Is that okay? Can we share?” He nods his head and slowly passes the bottle over to me. I grab it carefully and place it behind me so it’s out of sight. Perhaps he’s like a child. Out of sight, out of mind. “It’s good, right?” he whispers. “Hmm. Very good,” I say, my eyes zeroing in on the knife. What is he planning on doing with that? To use it on someone else? Or himself? “What’s going through your mind, Dallas?” I bite my bottom lip. He doesn’t say anything, only stares down at the knife as he places a pointer finger on the tip. He twists it slightly. I see a red dollop of blood, and I reach over to grab his hand. “Dallas,” I scold, quickly applying pressure to the puncture. “Your mom is worried.” “She’s always worried,” he says. I frown. She

has every right to be worried. She just lost a son. A part of her. “Why are you here?” I ask. Dallas uses his knife to point at something on the court. I squint over to see a bunch of scribbles made from the knife. Standing up, I walk over to loom over the scribbles to see “KYLE” scratched into the asphalt. I bite my bottom lip again and look back at Dallas. At least the knife wasn’t for any murderous tendencies. “It’s beautiful,” I say. And it is. Spray paint would have washed away eventually. But carving it into the pavement will ensure it will last an eternity. Just as Kyle carving his sign into my kitchen table will last an eternity. I turn and walk over to sit in front of him, no longer worried about the knife. “Why are you here, Kayla?” he asks. “Your mom called. I’m just making sure you’re okay.” Dallas scoffs and reaches over to grab the bottle, taking a swig before I snatch it out of his grasp. “Mommy sent you to check up on me. Sorry to ruin your day.” I sigh and run a hand through my hair, looking up at Katie again, remembering what she told me. “I’m here because I want to be. I don’t want you to be alone in this.” Dallas finally lifts his head,

and his watery, sky blue eyes meet my hazel ones. I almost cry at the amount of pain swimming around in his eyes. “I’ll always be alone. And it’s my fault. I should have protected him.” I shake my head, reaching over to place a hand on his jean-clad knee. “You can’t live in the ‘should haves’ and ‘what ifs.’ All you can do is live in honor of Kyle’s memory. You are not alone, Dallas. You have your parents, Tyler, Mikey…” My eyes flicker over to Katie. She’s in the same position. “And me. I’m always here if you want to talk.” Dallas lets out a sigh and nods his head. “I just miss him.” “I know. I do too.” I give his knee a squeeze, and Dallas’s lips twitch slightly, almost forming a smile. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” I shrug. “And for pushing you against a car.” I roll my eyes. “And for saying Kyle’s death was your fault.” I tsk my tongue. “Yeah. You did some horrendous acts. Going to take a whole lot more than ‘I’m sorry’ to gain my forgiveness,” I say, a teasing smile on my face as I try to lighten the mood. Dallas seems to take in the mood, for he arches an eyebrow and continues with the conversation. “What do I have to do?” “Well, for one, let me take you home so you can

get cleaned up…and…perhaps a movie and fancy dinner. Or you could take me on a hot air balloon ride. Or jet skiing. Or flying on my first airplane flight.” I shrug my shoulders, lightly chuckling. I wasn’t actually expecting any of this to happen, apart from the first condition. He really needs to get home before someone walks by and sees us with a bottle of whiskey. Dallas gets to his feet, stumbles a bit before he pockets his knife, and reaches down to me. I grab the bottle and then his hand, smiling as he hoists me up. “Let’s go home then,” he says. I lead him to the car, gently trying to let go of his hand; however, he holds tight, and I notice he can barely walk without my little support. I shake my head. “He okay?” Katie whispers, hopping in the back. I nod my head and let Dallas get in the passenger seat. I drive him to his house, where I help him out again and up to the front door. He puts a hand on the knob, and when I say goodbye, he grabs my arm. “Next Friday. After school. Pick a movie and I’ll pick a restaurant. See you Monday,” he mumbles, leaning forward to place a soft kiss to my forehead before he opens the door and stumbles inside. My eyes are wide as I watch him disappear. As I drive Katie and me home, part of me wishes Dallas would wake up and forget about everything

that happened. However, a larger part of me wishes he remembers.

Chapter Six Acceptance *Dallas* September 28, 2015 After Kayla dropped me off at my house on Saturday at three, I took a shower, ate a hearty lunch, and then slept until the next morning. Waking up on Sunday, I felt as if my stomach was heavy, and my head was pounding. I remember vividly the conversation I had with Kayla. She showed up in the moment I needed someone the most. She was there, talking me away from the

bottle of whiskey and reminding me that from now on, I am to be living in honor of Kyle. Not in pain or hatred or anger. I do have to apologize to her in some extravagant way. I should never have said the things I did to her. It was all out of blind anger, and I regret it completely. Kayla is everything my mother and brother said she is. Kayla Williams is kind. She is selfless and charismatic. She is a bookworm; however, she doesn’t seem to miss anything that’s going on around her. Her smile lights up the room, and her laugh sends goosebumps up my arms. She’s smart, and…perhaps she is good at basketball. That is still something I’ll have to see for myself. So Friday night, I will take her out for a movie and dinner. I will apologize for everything, and hopefully from there, we can start a new relationship. I want Kayla to see me as the man Kyle looked up to. The man my mother was proud of. I have decided that I need to focus on my schoolwork these next few weeks. Only on school and my friendships. When basketball tryouts come into play, I will hopefully know if I am stable enough to be on the team one last year. Today is Monday, and while I liked being off school and sleeping in, I have to go back. I’ve already missed too much schoolwork. Tyler and

Mikey have been great with providing the homework to me. However, it’s time I went back for good. When my mom sees me in the kitchen this morning, she isn’t as upset that I’m going back. Instead, she’s making me toast. She is dressed this morning in faded jeans and a simple t-shirt. Her hair is blown dry, and I find myself smiling. “I hope you have a great day back, sweetie,” she whispers in my ear when she gives me a hug goodbye. I gently squeeze her before I grab my bag and jog outside to my Jeep. It’s a good thing I checked the weather and threw the soft top over my car yesterday, or it would be drenched. The drive to school is short, and when I pull in, I smile at the students walking in. Again, many girls are carrying Starbucks cups or even Dunkin Donuts. I jog into the school, shaking my damp hair as I quickly walk to my locker. Tyler and Mikey are waiting there, talking and shoving each other. “Dallas. Who would win in a fight? Aragorn or Daryl?” I smile at Mikey. Mikey obviously favors Aragorn. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is his favorite movies. Tyler favors Daryl. His favorite show is The Walking Dead. I personally think both are equally awesome; however, there is no question as to who would be the winner.

“Aragorn. Obviously,” I say, opening my locker. “Ha! I told you!” Mikey shouts, and Tyler gives Mikey’s shoulder a shove, turning silent. All three of us are competitive, and we don’t like to lose. Even if it’s to a stupid question. “Aragorn is a Dúnedain. He has elongated life. His best friend is Legolas, an elf. He has explicit training on both bow and sword,” I explain, not caring that I sound like a nerd. All three of us enjoy those movies, and we’re not ashamed. “Oh. And he’s also a king. Now. If you asked Ragnar verses Aragorn…that would have been different.” Tyler slaps a hand to his forehead, groaning. “Damn! That is such a better opponent!” I laugh. Vikings is another show we like to watch. “We are idiots,” I mumble, turning and walking toward our Government class. We say goodbye to Mikey before we head in and sit in the back.

When Psychology comes around, I’m a little nervous to see Kayla again. What does she think of me? That I’m some unstable drunk? That’s just not true. Sure, I was unstable and I was drunk; but I don’t drink regularly. In fact, I hardly drink because of basketball. Kayla is sitting in the back, her head bowed as she quietly reads. I notice the seat next to her is

empty, so I walk over to sit beside her. She doesn’t take her eyes off the book, absorbing everything written on the pages. Only when she’s finished with the chapter does she close the book and sigh, a small smile on her lips. Must have been a good chapter. Her eyes shift over to me, and they slightly widen. “D-Dallas. Hi,” Kayla stutters slightly. Her hazel eyes drift downward to my hand on the table before they dart to my face. She has a blush on her cheeks. “Hi, Kayla. How was your weekend?” I ask, picking up my pencil and twirling it around my fingers. “Oh, it was fine. I had to deal with some drunk teenager Saturday afternoon.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips. “Apparently he’s taking me to a movie now.” I can’t help but laugh gently. Kayla has a talent at being able to carry any conversation and make it light and easy. Even when I was crying on the courts, she was still able to lighten the mood a little. “Well, I think that guy has a lot of making up to do if he made you deal with his drunk self. Couldn’t have been fun,” I respond, playing along with her third person conversation. Kayla shrugs again. “It wasn’t too bad. In a way, I think a small spark of friendship was formed. But that could have just been me.” I smile. She feels the same way. That the stupid drunken

haze actually formed a friendship. One I am determined to keep. “I think you’re right.” “Yeah?” she asks. A full smile breaks her lips, and I notice her spine straighten in hope. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to be her friend. Yes, I understand that I was always hard and cruel to her, but I always saw her as a threat to my relationship with Kyle. I was wrong. She would have been the glue. Kayla is the answer, the person I need to talk with to cast light on what Kyle’s life looked like outside of basketball. I need her to help me grow closer to his memory. I need Kayla because I somehow feel Kyle’s presence when I’m with her. I need Kayla because she is the person who talked me back from the darkness. I need Kayla because everyone was right. And already I don’t want to think about having her out of my life. All of these reasons…I’ll make sure I never push her away, never harm her or let harm come to her. Yes, Kayla. A friendship for you has formed within me. However, I look to you as so much more. In the little time I have known you, you have saved me in more ways than you will ever know.

Chapter Seven Birthday *Kayla* September 29, 2015 “You’re actually going to see a movie with Dallas Perkins on Friday night?” Anne asks, walking beside me as we head into the school, hot cups of coffee in our hands. I pick Anne up at her house every morning, and we drive to Starbucks to pick up two Grande Caramel Macchiatos. Anne typically gets a ride home after school from her boyfriend, Drew. Drew is a nice guy. He

has short brown hair and green eyes. He’s bulky and is a defensive lineman for our football team. I think Anne is too good for him, but all in all, he’s not a bad guy. He makes her happy, and that’s all I care about. “Yes. We’re actually going to see The Martian. Then he’s treating me to dinner afterward,” I say, a small smile forming on my lips. I’m actually excited for Friday, even though I practically suggested the date myself. Whatever is going on with Dallas and me right now, I’m enjoying it. Dallas surprised me yet again yesterday when he invited me to sit with him at lunch. However, I had to make up a Trigonometry test from when I missed class for Kyle’s funeral. Mr. Hass gave me a week to study for the material, and I had to make it up by yesterday. So I spent my whole lunch hour taking the test. Otherwise, I would have accepted his invitation. Even if I would have been nervous to sit with Tyler and Mikey. I’m positive that they don’t like me. Tyler always casts me glances, as if he thinks I’m weird. But I sometimes see the way he looks at me. Mikey altogether ignores my existence. He could run into me in the halls and keep walking as if nothing happened. If I am going to sit with them, Anne will be dragged by her hair to join me. There’s no way I am going to sit with the basketball stars of Waubonsie

without the support of my best friend. “Are you nervous?” Anne asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. I stop at my locker and dial it open to grab a few books and notebooks. I hold them in the crook of my arm as I clutch my coffee, kicking the locker shut. We head to Anne’s locker next, and as she goes through it, I lean against the row of lockers and sip my coffee. “I’m not nervous,” I finally answer. “We’re just going as friends.” Anne snorts, standing straight with a variety of books in her arms. She nudges her locker shut before she looks me in the eye. Anne is a rare kind of beautiful. She has flame red hair and bright hazel eyes. An assortment of freckles sprinkles her cheeks and nose. She’s taller than me, around five feet ten inches. She is slim and athletic. She’s actually on the girls’ basketball team. Anne has tried over the last three years to get me to join; however, I prefer to play for myself. I don’t enjoy having an audience watching and judging the way I play. “I doubt Dallas feels the same.” I furrow my brows, confused with what she means. “He looks at you as if you’re some sort of angel.” It’s my turn to snort. I shake my head. There is no way Dallas would ever look at me that way. Just a week ago, he shoved me against my car and

blamed me for Kyle’s death. I know he apologized for it, but a person can’t go from hating me with a passion to looking at me as if I am an “angel.” “No way.” Anne and I walk to our Trigonometry class, arguing about who’s right and wrong. No matter what Anne says or thinks, I know I’m right. Dallas Perkins likes girls like Ashley Delta. He likes girls who have this obvious beauty with blonde hair and tan skin. He likes girls who will give him what he wants. And that is definitely not me. I promised my father and God that I would not have sex until I found the right man and I was one hundred percent sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. Preferably after I am married. So if Dallas does end up wanting to date me, his interest will be short-lived when he finds out he can’t gain what I can’t give. I gnaw on my bottom lip when Mr. Hass slides my test onto my desk. My stomach churns as I grab it and flip it over. I can’t help but feel the urge to throw up as I take in the large red C- on the paper. I look over at Anne, who frowns, shaking her head. It is surprising to both of us. I never do this bad on tests. Heck, I tutored Kyle mainly in mathematics and I just failed a test? I take a deep breath and remind myself that one bad test isn’t going drop my grade. I have a high A

in the class, and if anything, it’ll drop to a low A. No big deal… “Are you sitting with Dallas and his friends today for lunch?” Anne asks, bringing me from my thoughts. I look at her again and nod. “Yes. And so are you.” Anne’s protest is cut off by Mr. Hass beginning the lesson.

I have Anne’s slender wrist in a vise grip as I drag her toward Dallas’s table. He had invited me again during Psychology, and I told him I would if Anne was allowed as well. Dallas said he didn’t mind; there was plenty of room. Anne digs her heels into the tile of the cafeteria floor, causing me to turn, grasp her arm in both my hands, and pull her along until her Converses slide. “No. No. Noooo.” She shakes her head wildly, her eyes wide. I stifle a laugh as we near the table. “I still think Daryl would win,” I hear someone say. My ears perk at the sound of my favorite Walking Dead character. I release Anne and turn to see Tyler delivering an excellent argument. “You’re so daft. Aragorn would win! We’ve been through this!” Mikey growls at his friend. Dallas has his back to me right now, so I can’t

see if he’s finding this argument amusing or annoying. Tyler is directly across from Dallas, and his expression is desperate and determined. Mikey is at Tyler’s left. He’s frustrated. “Fine. What about Ragnar against Aragorn? Who then?” Tyler counters, arching an eyebrow. I approach the table, coming up beside Dallas’s right so I’m across from Mikey. “Ragnar would win,” I answer, sinking beside Dallas. He looks over at me, his light blue eyes meeting my dark hazel ones. He smiles. “Agreed,” Dallas says. I look over at Mikey and Tyler hesitantly. Are they okay with me sitting here with them? Do they think it’s weird? I think it’s kind of weird. “Boom!” Tyler exclaims, slapping his hands to his chest once before he throws his arms open in victory. That was what he did every time he made a basket in basketball. I smirk when he looks over and sends me a wink. “The girl has spoken.” I can’t help but wonder if Tyler doesn’t know my name but shrug it off. It’s not a big deal if he doesn’t. “What does she know about Aragorn and Ragnar?” Mikey asks, leaning forward on the table in challenge. Ha. He thinks I just read romance novels, doesn’t he? “Aragorn is Dúnedain. He is the only heir to

Isildur and the rightful king of Gondor. He’s selfless and strong enough to pass the Ring’s test. Ragnar is a Viking who rose from farmer to earl to king by his own determination. He invaded Paris and somehow returned home alive. Ragnar Lothbrok would most definitely win,” I say, throwing out small facts to prove that I do indeed watch my movies and TV shows. I’m not some measly little bookworm. “Ragnar is also the hottest man known to women.” I look over my shoulder at Anne, who walks over to sit beside me. I chuckle, a large smile on my face. Mikey’s eyes meet her instantly, and I see something flicker across his face. Interest? “Oh yeah? Clearly you haven’t gotten a good look at me,” Mikey says, leaning back to motion toward his body. I let out a snort and quickly place a hand over my mouth in an attempt to cover it up. Mikey flashes me a glare. “Just because Dallas has you dazed by his charm does not mean he’s the hottest man in this room. It’s just his talent, being able to fool every girl into falling in love with him,” Mikey comments. I arch an eyebrow. Even though they’re best friends, it’s obvious Mikey is envious of Dallas. Tyler lets out a low whistle, and I look over to

see Dallas shooting daggers at Mikey. “You’re full of shit,” Dallas grinds out, running a hand through his hair. “I never trick girls into doing anything. They know what they sign up for. They come to me willingly. I don’t hypnotize them.” I am taken back by Dallas’s words. Yes, I always knew the routine with Dallas and his girls. They are typically on his arm for a good week before he takes a break and finds someone else. But to hear him talk about how they are basically an object to him is a major letdown. This is not the Dallas who was talking to me in Psychology the last two days. “No. You’re full of shit! When will you learn that this lifestyle will get you nowhere? That even though you’re banging the hottest chick in school, you’re still going to only be a student who is half as good as his father in basketball. You don’t have a chance at the NBA. Time to dream a little smaller, Dally.” Mikey is blowing me away, too. Aren’t they best friends? I feel sick to my stomach as I want to leave this situation pronto. “Yeah? Well, at least I’m guaranteed a future! You’re just a mediocre shooting guard with grades that rival an illiterate moron.” Mikey stands to his feet so fast it makes me gasp. “What are you doing with her? You hated her. And now you want to be friends? You listen here. She’s not another one of your girls. You leave

Kayla the hell out of your messed-up life, understood?” Mikey snaps, his eyes brutal as he points a finger at me. What? Why is he protecting me? “Oh, you’d like to know what I’m doing with her, wouldn’t you?” Excuse me? I look over at Dallas in alarm and open my mouth to put a word in; however, he only glares at Mikey. Then, very slowly, a smile inches across Dallas’s face. I jerk my head back to Mikey to see him grinning like an idiot before he barks out in laughter. What is going on? “Explain,” I say, looking over at Dallas, who is chuckling as well. I snap my head to Anne, who shares the same mask of horror. “Welcome to the Idiot Table,” Tyler mumbles, causing my eyes to transfix on him. “That was some sort of initiation?” I proclaim, completely baffled. Dallas continues to laugh as Mikey takes his seat, his face turning red from lack of oxygen. “You should have seen your face!” Mikey gasps out, letting out a coughing laugh again. Even though their laughter is infectious and I want to join in, I’m still hung up on the fact that they just pulled a prank on us. Dallas reaches over to grab my hand and my attention. “You looked like you were about to run

for the hills.” He breaks out into another fit of laughter, and I yank my hand away, glaring at Tyler, who is just smirking at the two idiots. “It wasn’t funny,” I mutter, crossing my arms as if I’m a toddler throwing a fit. When the laughter finally calms down, I grab a handful of grapes from my homemade lunch and toss them in my mouth, munching silently as everyone returns to their food. There is small talk between Tyler, Mikey, Dallas, and sometimes even Anne. I keep quiet, embarrassed that the two goons were able to pull that on me. I watch as Dallas interacts with his friends, and I’m glad his loss is finally lifting off his shoulders. He deserves to be happy. Kyle would want him to be happy. The thought of Kyle reminds me that I wanted to ask Dallas something. “Dallas,” I say quietly. He turns his attention away from the group and looks at me. “Hmm?” “Kyle thought I’m a great basketball player. And clearly, you’re not too bad yourself. So I was wondering if you wanted to settle this Thursday night? You know, see who’s the best?” I ask, a smirk forming on my lips. Dallas’s eyes brighten with mischief before a melancholy expression adorns his features. What did I say? “What’s Thursday?” he asks.

“October first. Why?” The table grows quiet, and I look over to see Tyler and Mikey frowning, a glum look on both their faces. One would think I just killed their goldfishes. “Kyle’s birthday,” Dallas mutters. Gah. I’m an idiot. How could I forget that? I gnaw on my bottom lip. “Dallas…” I begin to apologize, but he shakes his head, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “He’d want us to play,” he says. My heart flutters softly with hope. I know Kyle would want us to play, but the fact that Dallas is realizing this is huge. “Thursday at seven.” And it is set.

Even though we, or should I say I, invited Tyler and Mikey to join us, they kindly refused. It was something that had to be done between the two of us. It will be the first time either of us has played on the courts since September twelfth. Perhaps it’s best we’re doing this together. I dressed up in green spandex shorts and a loose t-shirt, something easy to move around in. I’m wearing Nike basketball shoes as well with my hair sitting up in a high ponytail. Dallas arrives wearing black basketball shorts and a black t-shirt. He’s also

wearing Nike basketball shoes. We’re the real deal. He tosses me a water bottle, and I gladly take a swig before setting it on the edge of the court. He tosses me a smirk, and I notice his hair is shorter. “Can’t focus if my hair is flapping around in my eyes,” he explains when I ask him about it. He cut it so we could play tonight. I try to contain my butterflies in my stomach. Once we are ready to play, we line up at center circle, where Dallas checks the ball to me. I check it back, and we begin playing. I always knew Dallas was a great player. I made him promise not to go easy on me, and he kept to his word. It’s a workout to keep up with him, but I hold my own pretty well. We are neck and neck the whole game. Dallas is great at three-pointers. He’s excellent at it, actually. It’s what gets me every time. I’m primarily talented at lay-ups and two-pointers. But those are easier to deflect. I don’t allow myself to get frustrated, even when Dallas grabs the ball in the air and throws it to the ground, interfering with my two-pointer. He lets out a grunt and pounds his chest as I glare harshly at him. He shoots me a wink, and I try to remember it’s all for fun. I don’t care if he beats me. I’m just happy to see him play again.

“Not cool, bro. You need to let Kayla score every now and then,” I hear from behind me. I tense, my eyes finding Dallas as I desperately seek an explanation. But he doesn’t look at me; his eyes are transfixed behind me, wide with awe and disbelief. He stumbles back a step as he shakes his head, tears brimming his eyes. Oh my. I spin around and let out a sharp gasp as my eyes meet bright blue ones, staring up at me from five feet away. The smile plastered on his face is wide and all so recognizable. Chills run up my spine, and even though I’m all sweaty from playing basketball, I suddenly feel cold. I stagger to stand beside Dallas, grabbing his arm. He doesn’t seem to register me as he continues to stare at the boy. “What? Don’t let me interrupt. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time,” the boy says. That voice. I close my eyes as I feel a tear roll down my left cheek. It couldn’t be possible that he’s standing here, wearing dark jeans and a red t-shirt. His light brown hair is gelled up, revealing his smooth forehead. His freckles are noticeable even in the dark. But when Dallas breathes one single word to prove that we are in fact seeing the same person, all rationality seems to leave my mind.

“Kyle.”

Chapter Eight Ghost *Dallas* October 1, 2015 “What? Don’t let me interrupt. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time.” My body is covered in goosebumps as I stare at the impossible. I can feel Kayla’s hand resting on my arm, holding tight as she slightly leans into me. She is in complete shock, just as I am. How is this even possible?

I held him in my arms as he took his final breath. I saw the paramedics place his limp body on a gurney and wheel him away. Was he never dead? Was he alive this whole time, somewhere secret, and only now revealing he never died? The uncontrollable urge to run forward and hug him is tugging at my muscles. If it wasn’t for Kayla holding onto me, I would. But all I do is continue to stare. Then the boy who resembles Kyle to a tee arches an eyebrow. “Go on. Show her how the Perkins boys don’t lose to girls,” he says. My stomach flips at his words. Those are the words I said to Kayla in the cafeteria after I blamed her for Kyle’s…death. I gulp, finally tearing my eyes off Kyle to look at Kayla. She has a slight shake to her as her eyes focus on Kyle. Her grip is now tighter than before, and I realize she noticed the familiarity of the words spoken. “How?” Her soft voice finally questions what has been on my mind. I return my attention to Kyle, who crosses his arms over his chest. “What do you mean how? It’s my birthday. Dallas and I always come here on my birthday. I just didn’t expect to see you here.” He points at Kayla, and I arch an eyebrow. What does that even mean? He’s speaking as if he’s alive.

Is he alive? No. I saw his body in that oak coffin. I saw him lowered to the ground where they piled dirt over him. Whatever is happening right now, it isn’t real. Then how is Kayla seeing the same thing you are? “But…but how are you here? How did you get here?” Kayla asks, bringing me back from my thoughts. I notice she’s no longer holding onto me. She has taken a step forward, her head tilted to the side. Kyle’s brows furrow, and his eyes are downcast to the ground. I can nearly see the cogs in his brain turning as he tries to produce an answer. “I don’t know. I don’t remember,” he says. My heart is heavy, and my head is light. I feel as if I am about to faint. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Kayla asks, her voice so soft and gentle, as if she is talking to a wounded animal, soothing it. “We were playing basketball. I beat you.” Kyle’s eyes are on me, and my breathing begins to pick up. “But that was the twelfth. Today is October first. How is that possible?” Kyle questions. I close my eyes, trying to calm myself as millions of questions swim around in my mind. Perhaps this is all a dream. I’m lying in my bed

right now and dreaming. I will wake up, and everything will return to normal. Kyle will be dead. Because he is dead. “Dallas.” My eyes snap open, and I meet dark hazel. “What’s going on?” Kayla’s voice is shaky, and I wish I had the answer to her question. I only shake my head. “I don’t know,” I whisper, tilting my head to gaze at Kyle from over her shoulder. “Do you remember anything else?” I ask him. Kyle shrugs his shoulders as he kicks a rock. My eyes widen when it moves across the court. Dead people can’t kick rocks. “We were walking home. I was replaying the moves I pulled on you. You screamed my name and then…” Kyle lifts his head to look me straight in the eyes. My body stiffens as goosebumps cover my arms. “Cold. Everything went cold.” I bite my bottom lip as I watch Kyle’s expressions. I can practically see the scene running over and over again in his mind. He’s trying to make sense of everything that happened, and when the look of fear settles on his features, I know he understands. “I’m dead.” His words are a pang to my chest. I choke back a sob as I nod my head. There are no words to describe the pain I’m feeling, telling my kid brother that he’s dead. There

are no words because this is unheard of. There is no talking to the dead. There is no having conversations with the deceased. One moment you’re playing basketball and the next everything is silent, and all the things you wish you could have said are weighing heavy on the heart. “I was shot,” Kyle says. “Yes,” Kayla whispers softly, taking another step toward him. Kyle quickly steps back and shakes his head, eyes wide and watery with tears. “I don’t understand. How am I here? How am I dead?” His voice trembles, and it takes everything in me to not break down crying in front of him. However, Kayla doesn’t fight her feelings. I hear a sob escape her lips as she shakes her head. “I don’t know, Kyle. Perhaps it’s to say goodbye.” Kayla looks over her shoulder at me. “Perhaps it’s our chance to say all the things we wish we could have said,” she whispers. My eyes return to Kyle, and he’s staring right back at me. “Dallas. I’m scared.” His voice is small. Kyle is never scared. He’s tough and brave. But right now, he’s frightened, and there is nothing I can do about it. Because he’s dead. He’s already dead. Kyle walks toward me, his arms slightly opening as he goes to embrace me in a hug. I shiver as his arms wrap around my shoulders, a ghostly presence

that is both felt and absent. He clings to me, and as I wrap my arms around him, it’s almost as if I’m hugging air; however, I feel a soft resistance that signifies where he is. When he steps back, he looks over at Kayla again. “I knew you’d be friends,” he says, brushing away his tears. Kayla smiles softly at him. “I should have listened to you,” I whisper. “Yes. You should have.” It grows silent after that, and Kayla and I are both left staring at Kyle. He seems to drift from the present and into thought as he stares at the letters I carved into the asphalt. A ghost of a smile is on his lips as he reads it. “Why am I here?” he asks again. “Why am I not in Heaven?” His eyes lift to us. “I’m not sure. Do you not feel at peace?” Kayla asks. Kyle scrunches his eyebrows and presses his lips together. “Someone killed me.” “Do you know who?” Kayla asks. Kyle falls silent again, and I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for him to respond. If he knows who killed him, then I’ll be able to seek the revenge I desperately need. If he knows who killed him and I make sure the man pays, then perhaps Kyle will be at peace. A selfish part of me silently thinks, If we don’t avenge him, then perhaps he will remain on Earth.

And then we can see him again. And again. I feel sick at the thought. “I-I have to go,” Kyle whispers, his brows pulled together as a frown falls on his lips. What does he mean, he has to go? “Meet us here tomorrow. Same time,” Kayla says, her voice desperate. Kyle slowly smiles as he shakes his head. “I can’t. You guys have a date. But I will see you soon.” His eyes meet mine again and linger as his essence slowly drifts away with the wind, deteriorating right in front of our eyes. Silence and loneliness accompany us. Neither of us speaks or moves. We just stare at the spot where my brother was just standing. My dead brother. He was gone, and again, I missed the opportunity to tell him goodbye. To tell him I loved him. But he’ll see us soon. That’s what he said. How soon was soon? Saturday? Will he be here on Saturday? What if by soon, he means a whole other year? What if I have to wait until his next birthday to see him again? I bite my bottom lip as I feel it tremble. It’s as if I am losing him all over again. Arms slip around my waist, and a warm head presses against my chest. I feel the body in my arms shake as sobs wrack through Kayla. I cling tightly to her, resting my chin on top of her head as tears roll down my cheeks.

Why did he come to us? Why the tease? I just accepted the fact that he was gone forever. And now he just shows up? For what? To cry in front of me and tell me that he’s scared? To remind me that I failed my little brother again? There has to be a reason Kyle appeared the moment Kayla and I played basketball together. And the next time that I see him, I’ll be sure to find out the answer.

Chapter Nine Date *Kayla* October 2, 2015 Last night was the most confusing night I have ever experienced. More confusing than when an officer showed up at our doorstep and told me there was an accident, and I knew I’d never see my father again. I saw the impossible. I saw the ghost of Kyle Perkins, and the only reason I’m not going to a psychologist is because Dallas saw him as well.

Not only did I see the ghost, the ghost actually spoke to us and embraced Dallas. He acted like Kyle, and when he found out that he was, in fact, dead, he cried like Kyle. Questions have been running through my mind all night; I barely got any sleep. I tried to find reason in this situation. Why was Kyle still here? Why hasn’t he gone to Heaven, where no pain on Earth could touch him? Why isn’t he at peace? That answer seems to be obvious, however. His murderer still hasn’t been found. But that happens all the time, where murderers get away, but we never hear cases of the ghost of the victim lingering. So why is Kyle? Why can’t he rest? I lean my head back against the tree and look across the courtyard to see people carelessly chatting away. The book is all but forgotten in my hands as I can’t seem to keep my focus on it. I see Dallas walking out of the school doors and briskly making his way toward me. I lift an eyebrow as he falls to the ground beside me, letting out a groan. I smirk to keep the chuckle at bay. Clearly, he’s having a tough time focusing as well. “All I think about is last night,” he mutters, lifting a hand to shield the sun as he tilts his head to look at me. His blue eyes are brilliant under the shining sun, and I find myself momentarily lost in them.

“He said he’d return,” I whisper, shrugging my shoulders. “He didn’t say when. What if it’s in another year?” Dallas asks. I let out a sigh. That thought crossed my mind as well. What if Kyle was only allowed to visit us on his birthday? Do we have to wait another year to see him again, to ask the necessary questions to catch his killer? I bite my bottom lip. “He wouldn’t want us to be waiting around for him. He’d want you to look to your future. He’d want you to live on as if it didn’t happen,” I say. I know my words are not something Dallas wishes to hear. Why would he? He’d rather hear, “Let’s just stay in Aurora for as long as it takes for him to return. Put everything else on hold. He’s all that matters right now.” Dallas falls silent, and he closes his eyes, laying still as the sun kisses his cheeks. I ensure that nothing but my legs and feet are in the sun. My face tends to burn rather easily. I return to leaning my head against the tree and close my eyes as well. I take a deep breath and listen to the sweet sounds of nature around us. The bickering students have wandered inside, and as of right now, it is only me and Dallas. The song of birds fills the silence. The light breeze cools the heat from the sun and whistles through the rustling leaves above. I take a deep breath, feeling my hair lightly blowing; however,

the ponytail keeps it from getting too chaotic. Dallas and I remain in silence, enjoying each other’s company. I know his mind is racing with thoughts of Kyle. Mine was just a moment ago, but I seem to be able to get a moment of rest as my mind goes blank and I fall into a soft doze.

The ringing of the bell is distant, but it manages to wake me from my nap. I flinch, my eyes widening as I realize we’re going to be late to our next class. My eyes snap down to where Dallas was laying; however, he’s no longer in his previous position. He now has his head on my lap and his arm wrapped around my waist. Oh my…I hear a gentle snore come from him, and I bite my bottom lip. I have a mental battle with myself: should I wake him or let him sleep? If I let him sleep, we’ll both be late to class, and it will result in a detention. I have never had a detention in all my four years here. I know Dallas is perfectly all right with receiving one, but I’m not sure I am. “Dallas…” I whisper, and when I see his eyes squeeze tight and a pout form on his lips, I tense. My heart squeezes, and I come to the conclusion that I can’t wake him. Sighing, I lay my head back, my arms crossed over my chest since I don’t know

where to rest my arms with Dallas on my lap. I try to drop them by my sides and sink my fingers into the grass. For a moment, I’m comfortable, but before long I am itching to move. I want to lay down too. The bark of the tree is digging into my shoulder blades and scratching my head. Gently pushing Dallas aside, I’m able to twist my body around so I am laying down, parallel to the tree with Dallas’s head still on my lap. I grab my backpack and shove it under my head. I allow the calming atmosphere to lull me to sleep, forgetting about the impending detention…and the fact I will wake up with a lobster red face.

The next time I come to is when another bell rings. I quickly sit up, feeling lightheaded by the speed of which I did so. My legs are heavy, and I look down to see Dallas is still draped over them. I reach down and poke his head, biting my bottom lip. I cannot miss another class, no matter how peaceful and needed that nap was; I have to get up. “Dallas. Get up.” He groans and grabs onto the fabric of my shirt, pulling it into a fist as he continues to sleep. He is like a child. Reaching down, I pry his fingers off my shirt and then put both my hands on his arm and

shoulder. With a deep breath and a push, I manage to roll him down to my feet. I easily kick him off and struggle to stand up. My feet seem to have followed suit with Dallas and me; they are asleep. I wiggle my toes and shake my legs, trying to get the blood flowing. “What are you doing?” Dallas grumbles. I brush the butt of my jeans before I lean down and grab my backpack. “We already missed a class. We need to get to our next one. Get up,” I say. Dallas rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm, and I wince, having to look away. There’s no way that could be good for his eyes. I hear him moan as he stretches before he stands up. When I look back at him, he’s smiling widely at me. What is he grinning at? He’s going to make us late again. “You ditched a class? Why?” he asks. I glare over at him. “Because you took up my legs as a pillow. I didn’t have the heart to wake you when you pouted and started sucking your thumb when I nudged you.” I shrug my shoulders, letting him have a taste of his own medicine. He thinks he is going to tease me for letting him sleep on me? Well, now he believes he sucks his thumb still. Dallas sputters, his eyes wide with horror as he looks at me, searching for any trace of a joke. I just roll my eyes and give him an apologetic smile. “I

bet that’s why you can’t keep a girl for longer than a week,” I say, patting his shoulder as I walk past him. “Take that back.” I look over to see Dallas collecting his backpack before he breaks into a run, chasing me. I let out a shriek as I bolt away, silently thanking myself that I decided to wear my Nikes instead of flip-flops today. Dallas follows close behind me, and when I reach the door, I have to slow to a stop to pull it open. That moment of pause allows him to grab me by the hips and lift me up. “Take it back!” he growls, pushing me against the wall. My eyes are wide, fear overcoming me slightly before ebbing away when I see a smile on his lips. “You have buck teeth!” I scream when he absentmindedly tickles my side. Dallas’s mouth drops open before he steps away from me. “That’s so rude.” He shakes his head as he grabs the door, pulling it open. “You’re going to be late,” he says, his eyebrows raising when I don’t move away from the wall. Grunting, I push away and enter the school swiftly, hurrying forward with Dallas following my brisk pace. “I didn’t mean it,” I tell him when we reach my classroom. I turn to look up at him, biting my bottom lip. Dallas smirks. “I know, Kay. Now get in there.

I’ll see you tonight at five,” he says, sending me a wink before he turns and heads down the hall to his classroom. Kay? No one has ever called me Kay before. I always told people I hated that nickname. It always sounded like the abbreviation of “okay.” “We’re going to the mall, Kay.” “I’ll see you tonight, Kay.” “I lost my dog, Kay.” But for some reason, the way Dallas said it, it was so gentle and tender that it was as if he was caressing my name with his voice. It was almost as if he spoke too rough, he would have broken my name. Kay. I like when Dallas uses the name.

Dallas is punctual, that much is true. He arrives right at five o’clock. And I am still shimmying my way into black skinny jeans. I hear Katie let him in downstairs as I fumble around my room, grabbing the first shirt I see, which happens to be a simple dark blue V-neck. I slip on black sandals, throw my hair up into a messy ponytail, and look in the mirror. I spent too much time on my makeup, but it is stellar. I nod in approval as I grab my purse off my

bed and run out of my room and down the stairs to see Dallas standing by the front door, chatting with Katie. “I’m sorry you saw me that way,” I hear him whisper. I tilt my head in confusion as I step closer. As if sensing my presence, Dallas lifts his head to look at me. Oh, why do his eyes have to be so beautiful? I get lost in them, watching as they look me up and down. He bunches his lips to the side, a symbol of being in thought. Does he not like the way I look? I mean, I can’t blame him. I threw myself together just a moment ago. Dallas unexpectedly walks forward, stopping a few inches away. I feel my breathing hitch as I look up at him with wonder. What is he doing? Very slowly, he lifts his hand and wraps his fingers around my ponytail. Gently, he tugs it loose until my hair falls down around my shoulders. He doesn’t stop there. No. Dallas then takes my hair in his hands and runs his fingers through it, pulling it all to one side and over the shoulder. He then smiles and steps back. “I like your hair down,” he says softly. Butterflies flutter around in my stomach as I finally allow myself to take in his appearance. His hair, as usual, is perfectly combed to the side. It’s short, due to the fact he cut it yesterday;

however, he is still able to style it. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a hunter green polo. I gulp at how handsome he looks. His looks by far outshine mine. Does he really want to show up to the local theater with me? Doesn’t he know who we could see? “Ready?” he asks, stepping back and offering me a hand. I place my own in his and feel his fingers wrap around it. I smile, sending Katie a wink. “Have fun,” she says, her voice light and singsong. I nod my head. “I will. Tell Mom I’ll be out until late,” I say. Katie nods, saluting me. I typically don’t favor leaving Katie home alone at night, since our mom works a night shift at the hospital. She works with Mrs. Perkins. That’s how I was given the job to tutor Kyle. Katie insisted I go out, promising to lock the doors behind me and not answer unless it’s the family signature knock. Dallas leads me to a Ford Escape, and I slow my pace, arching my eyebrows at him. “I figured it was a little too cold and late to drive in the Wrangler. It’s Mom’s car. She has the day off,” he answers my unspoken question. I smile as he opens the door and then closes it behind me. Once Dallas is in the driver’s seat, nerves begin to settle in. I’m actually going on a date with Dallas Perkins.

The star basketball player of Waubonsie. Why would he want to go out with me? I remind myself that this isn’t a real date. He’s doing this because he feels sorry that my Saturday was interrupted by his episode. This is an apology date. Nothing more. It can’t be. When we arrive to the Showplace 16 theater, I unbuckle my seat belt and slide out of the car. Dallas walks around the front to meet me, holding out his hand again. I take it. “I heard good reviews about this movie,” he says, pulling me close so we walk side by side. I gulp as we enter the theater, heading toward the long line. He goes to a stop and then uses my hand to twirl me around. I look up at him, the height difference evident when we’re close. Dallas subconsciously plays with my fingers as his blue eyes bore into my own. I bite my bottom lip, and he lets out a grunt. “Stop doing that,” he mumbles, tearing his gaze away and turning his head to the side. “What?” I ask. What did I do? I literally haven’t done anything! I can’t honestly be ruining this date already, can I? “You bite your lip every other minute. It drives me crazy,” he says. A small smile twitches on my lips, and I giggle. “Sorry,” I whisper. Dallas shakes his head and

uses my hand to pull me forward with the moving line. “It’s not okay. It’ll take a lot more than ‘sorry’ to cover it. Perhaps maybe you can take me ziplining. Or horseback riding. Or maybe on a boat ride.” Dallas shrugs, a large smile adorning his face. Humph. The twerp is making fun of me. My conditions are actual wishes. They are on my bucket list. I do want to go on a hot air balloon and jet skiing. I do want to go on a plane, for I have never been on one. I’m sure Dallas has done all the things he just listed. Maybe not zip-lining. “Ha ha,” I grumble, shaking my head, although I can’t help but smile back. It’s impossible. His smile is infectious. Dallas buys our tickets, and when we get to the concessions, I insist on paying for our popcorn. I don’t want Dallas to pay for everything. Besides, it’s not a real date. Dallas finally agrees with splitting concessions in half, and we take our seats in the theater. Surprisingly, we did not run into anyone while in the lobby. I did notice a few recognizable faces in the actual theater; however, Dallas didn’t drop my hand or seem embarrassed. Sitting in the middle, a few rows back, I cross my legs and set the tub of popcorn in between us. Dallas takes a handful and tosses it in his mouth.

I decide to do the same, believing that Dallas won’t mind that I’m not dainty and elegant when I eat. I’m not going to pick up a single kernel with the tips of my nails every single time. Throughout the movie, Dallas shifts between holding my hand and placing his hand on my leg. I don’t mind either. Both are comforting, and I am happy to have contact with him. “That was good,” I say when we exit the theater. Dallas pulls me to his side, and we step away from the exiting crowd. I blush, dipping my head when I notice how close I am to him. Our chests touch, and his hands are now on my hips. Breathe. We’re in front of people! In public! Breathe. Dallas chuckles softly, placing a finger under my chin and tilting it upward so that I’m forced to look into his hypnotizing blue eyes. I’m shocked frozen at our proximity. His head slowly lowers until our noses are touching. Is he going to kiss me? My stomach does flips as I come to the conclusion that, yes indeed, he is going to kiss me. “Dallas!” I jump, causing our heads to bonk together. We both hiss in pain, and I twirl around to see Mikey, Tyler, Ashley, and Shannon. Oh. My. Goodness. Dallas grips my hand tightly as I feel like I’m going to faint. Why does this have to be happening?

“How are you doing, buddy?” Tyler asks, walking over, and to my surprise, he pulls me into a hug. “Evening, Kayla.” “Evening.” My voice is as quiet as a mouse as I look wide eyed at him. “What’s going on?” Ashley asks, her eyes shooting daggers at me. “Are we crashing a date?” “No.” “Yes,” Dallas says at the same time I deny her assumption. I look over at him to see him arch an eyebrow at me, a goofy smile on his lips. He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “We actually have reservations at Houlihan’s. So we need to get going.” Houlihan’s? Please tell me he’s joking. That restaurant is definitely not cheap! I look down at what I am wearing. Definitely not Houlihan’s appropriate. “Oh. Wow. Fun.” Ashley stumbles to find words. Her gaze tells me that she definitely wants to kill me. Does she still think she has a claim over Dallas? “Have fun, kids. I’ll see you guys Monday?” Tyler finally speaks up. Dallas nods his head, and I follow suit. Dallas holds tightly to my hand as he leads us away from them. Once outside, he begins to chuckle. “Why are you so nervous, Kay?” he asks, looking down at me.

“Ashley wanted to eat me,” I whisper. Dallas continues to laugh as he opens the door to the Ford for me. I climb in and look over at him. “I wouldn’t let that happen,” he promises, shutting the door before he jogs over and gets into the driver’s seat. He buckles in. “Houlihan’s?” I squeak. Dallas throws his head back in laughter. He drives to TGIFriday’s.

Chapter Ten Goodbye *Dallas* October 5, 2015 Sleep has become a foreign concept to me. Every night since Thursday, I spend hours upon hours staring up at the ceiling fan. As I watch the blades turn at low speed, my mind is occupied with thoughts of Kyle. All I think about is Kyle’s ghostly figure staring at me, hugging me, proclaiming his fears. It was so real, yet it had to be impossible.

I went back to the court Saturday night, but he wasn’t there. Nor was he there last night either. It’s eating me alive, not knowing if or when he will make an appearance again. Kayla’s words keep running through my head as well. “He’d want you to look to your future. He’d want you to live on…” But how can I continue on after something so life changing and indescribable has happened? I knew I shouldn’t have gone on that date with Kayla. It was great, and after it was over, I placed a kiss on her forehead, just like when she brought me home from my drunk episode. Kayla makes me smile, and she brings a warmth that fills my heart and makes my stomach flip. However, I should have spent that Friday night at the courts, searching for Kyle. I need to devote my time to finding out who killed my brother, in helping him get the peace he deserves. The date with Kayla was great. But it only served as a distraction. And I can’t have any if I am to help Kyle. Just like I couldn’t have girlfriends during basketball season; I will not have one when my brother needs me the most. I will not.

I know today is going to be tough. I have relied on Kayla to bring me a shred of happiness and laughter into this dark time; however, I have to cut ties with her. At least for now. It will hurt her, and I know that seeing Kayla hurt will cause me more discomfort than I’m willing to admit. She’s such a free spirit. She’s charismatic and selfless. She doesn’t deserve what’s coming. And I hate to do what my mother lectured me about, but it has to be done. Tyler and Mikey seem to notice the mood I’m in, for they remain silent as I grab my books from my locker. They chat quietly behind me as I walk to Government. I stare at the clock the whole lecture, willing it to speed up or slow down, I’m not sure. All I know is I want to fast forward a few hours, to skip witnessing the look in Kayla’s beautiful hazel eyes when I tell her that whatever we have is over. You’ve done this many times. It’s not a big deal. But it is. I’ve never cared about someone the way I care about her. A girl I loathed for so long, a girl I was so convinced ruined my relationship with Kyle. Now she’s the only person I want to keep from pain. But Kyle is more important than what I want. Perhaps, when it’s all over, I can revisit the idea of being with Kayla, because I enjoyed Friday. I

enjoyed watching her as she accused me of sucking my thumb, the way her eyes lit up mischievously and the way she laughed when she said I had buck teeth. I enjoyed seeing her squirm under the intense glare of Ashley, even though Ashley couldn’t hold a candle to Kayla. I enjoyed her complete horror when she heard I was taking her to Houlihan’s and then the absolute relief when we pulled into TGIFriday’s. I enjoy when she fiddles with her fingers and bites her bottom lip. I enjoy how she avoids eye contact when she’s nervous. I enjoy seeing that rare amount of confidence surging through her sporadically and noticing that she can take on the world if she wanted. I enjoy every fiber of Kayla Williams. But I must not be selfish. I’ve been selfish all my life, and that resulted in getting Kyle killed. It’s time for me to be selfless. Walking into Psychology, I feel as if I’m going to be sick. Kayla is sitting in the back, her head bowed as always as she reads a book. Instead of chewing on her finger or twirling her hair as a sign of being delved into the book, she’s bouncing her legs and tapping on the table. Her eyes lift every now and then, and anxiety is evident. I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong. Before I can stop myself, I am already pulling on the chair beside her. “What’s wrong?” I ask. Kayla

smiles slightly at me, shaking her head. “Erm. N-nothing.” She turns and places the book on the desk, placing a bookmark in the pages. “A Voice in the Wind,” I whisper, reading the title of the book. Kayla snaps her head back over to me and smiles. “Francine Rivers is my favorite author. It’s about a Christian slave girl who falls in love with a rich aristocrat. Through the book, she must struggle with choosing God or love the man who would take her from God. It’s powerful, and it might be my fourth time reading it.” Kayla blushes at the end, bowing her head slightly. There it is. That blush and her shyness. She never needs to be shy with me. Although, after today, I doubt she’ll ever be with me. “It sounds like a great book,” I whisper. Kayla turns her attention toward me, reaching over to place a hand on my arm. I sigh. “Kayla…” “I know,” she says, turning her head away from me and extracting her hand. “It’s been more than a week.” My eyes widen at her words. She thinks she’s just another one of my…girls? How could she think that? She is so much more. I open my mouth to refute her words, but I realize that doing so will only give her unnecessary hope. Hope that I will then crush a moment later. I do not want Kayla to ever think so little of

herself. She is a light in this dark time. I don’t deserve her; it’s not the other way around. I will never deserve her. “I’m sorry,” I say softly. Kayla nods her head. “It was foolish to think that this time it would be different. That Kyle’s death would have made you open up your eyes. We only get a certain amount of opportunities to be happy, Dallas. Perhaps you should quit throwing your chances aside, because soon, you won’t have anymore.” Her words are heavy and truthful. Of course, she’s right. She’s wise for someone our age. She has been through hard times, and she knows how to recover. She knows the world is not full of fairy tales. She knows the cold, true reality of it all. And yet, she’s still so gentle and kind. She doesn’t raise her voice or get angry. “I only wish you the best, Dallas.” Kayla turns her head to look at me, and I almost scream when I see tears brimming her eyes. I hurt her. “Kayla…” “Goodbye, Dallas,” she says, opening her book and lowering her eyes to the pages. That simple motion dismissed me altogether. I hurt her and have lost all right to be by her. To be her friend. To find solace in her. Standing, I gather my backpack and move to the

row of seats in front of her. I claim a new seat and drop my head into my hands, letting out a trying breath. It was worse than I imagined. Not only because I hurt her, but because she thought she was just another girl to me. She’s tearing my guts out, and she doesn’t know it. I promise, after I settle Kyle’s death, I will approach her again. I will beg for forgiveness and confess to how completely, utterly stupid I am. I will beg her to give me another chance. I promise, Kay. When it’s all over, I will come back to you. *Kayla* I knew it was only a matter of time until Dallas broke off whatever it was we had going on. It was a child’s dream to think I would be able to change him, that I’d be able to help him. It’s evident he doesn’t want me or my help. I just don’t understand what I was to him. I thought I made him happy during this trying time. I thought we were becoming friends…friends through Kyle’s memory. I thought we were finding comfort and happiness in each other. But I guess I was wrong. I guess I am just another girl who fell for Dallas Perkins’ charm and just tossed aside like all those other girls I pitied.

I guess I was wrong.

Chapter Eleven Ninth *Kayla* November 9, 2015 Ever since that moment in Psychology class, about a month ago, Dallas hasn’t spoken one word to me. Not even a simple hello as we pass each other in the hall. No. He barely even looks at me. If I catch his eyes on me, he immediately averts his attention elsewhere. I will never understand how someone can so easily kick a person out of their lives. Dallas and I

almost spent every minute together for a week, and all of a sudden, he’s done with me. I’m just another notch on his list. I should have known better than to sleep with the Devil…although we didn’t sleep together, I did develop feelings for him. He was a good friend when he wanted to be. He knew how to make people laugh, and at times, it did seem as though he cared for me. Psychology is unbelievably hard to focus on now, since Dallas sits right in front of me, and I can’t help but watch him. Usually, thoughts of anger and self-hatred are what come to mind. Sometimes I remember that day in the courtyard, before our date. Everything seemed peaceful and happy. The date, I thought, went well too. Did he end things because I didn’t kiss him? Or because I’m so shy around his friends? Did I do something wrong? I grit my teeth. I need to stop thinking about him. Kyle never made an appearance, at least not to me. He might have made one to Dallas, but from what I can tell, I don’t think he has. Dallas seems preoccupied, usually doodling the black SUV in a notebook, or a gun. He sometimes will write the whole class period, never lifting his head to take notes. What is he writing? Is he trying to remember

something from that night that could help him find Kyle’s murderer? “Ugh!” I scream, slamming my book on my desk to help snap me out of my thoughts. Why can’t I get him out of my head? “Do you have a comment, Kayla?” I tense, my eyes widening as I remember that I am in class. My eyes connect with Mrs. White before they flicker to Dallas. He has an arched eyebrow as he stares intently at me. “Uh…” I whisper, extremely embarrassed at my outburst. “There was a spider.” I offer an innocent smile. Mrs. White gives me a dubious look before she turns to continue the lecture. My attention goes back to Dallas, who has a stupid smile on his face. My glare seems to wipe it off, however.

“Spider?” I quietly scold myself as I hang my head back against the tree. The bark of the tree is irritating, but I ignore it. How could I be so dense? “Where’s a spider?” I look up to see Anne walking over to sit beside me. I move my backpack, hugging it to me so she can take its former position. “There is no spider. There was never a spider. I lied,” I mumble, shaking my head. Anne chuckles, opening her lunch bag and

pulling out a turkey sandwich. She tears it in half and gives me some. I gladly accept it. I forgot to pack my lunch this morning…rather, I didn’t have time, since I woke up late. Sleep has been absent for the last month and a half. Whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is Kyle’s ghost. And when I have them open, looking up at the ceiling, I’m thinking about Dallas. I just want answers. “So. Dairy Queen tonight?” Anne asks. I shrug my shoulders. It was something Kyle and I did, and Anne seems to understand that. Perhaps she’s just trying to help. Just like my mother and Katie are trying to help. I smile as a memory enters my mind, of when I took Kyle to Dairy Queen last year. “Happy Birthday!” Kyle cheers, handing me an Oreo Blizzard. I gladly accept it as he takes a seat next to me. “Where did you get the money to buy me an Oreo Blizzard?” I ask him, taking a spoonful. I moan. Dairy Queen does it right. “Chores.” Kyle shrugs as he begins to devour his Butterfinger Blizzard. I smile at him. This little treat means more to me than he knows. Kyle is using his own chore money, not on new Nikes or a new game for the Xbox One. Instead, he’s using it on me, to celebrate my birthday.

“Thank you, Kyle,” I say, leaning over to rub his hair. He shakes his head, trying to evade my touch. Ahh. He’s still a teenage boy at heart, though. “Let’s do this every month, on the ninth. No matter what day of the week or what we have planned, it must be cancelled or rearranged for Dairy Queen and Oreo and Butterfinger Blizzards. Deal?” Kyle even holds out his hand for me to shake, as if we are striking a real deal. But little does he know that I will do whatever is in my power to ensure that every month, on the ninth, we will be enjoying each other’s company at the local Dairy Queen. “Deal.” “He was a special kid,” I say softly, returning to the present. I look over at Anne, who furrows her brows. Her green eyes are bright when the sun hits them at a perfect angle. A few weeks ago, Anne broke up with Drew. Drew was at a party after the Homecoming football game and ended up sleeping with some sophomore. Anne has been devastated, even though Drew and she weren’t serious. They have only been dating a few months. However, when you open your heart to someone and they crush it, it takes a while to recover. I’ve tried my best to be here for her. My mind seems preoccupied most of the time, but I try to be

in the present and current when she’s sharing her feelings. “He was. He saw the world differently. He always lived in the now, never anxious or worried about the future.” I nod my head. Anne is right. Anne hardly knew Kyle. They might have met once or twice in passing when she was coming over after a tutoring session. But in that short amount of time, it was evident how easy it was to get along with Kyle. There was something about him that always made people want to be his friend. “Is it okay if I bring Katie to Dairy Queen?” Anne nods her head. “All right. We’ll meet at seven?”

Katie was more than eager to go to Dairy Queen. She has been on a strict diet for dance, but every now and then, Mom allows her to splurge. Katie is already outside before I can even finish saying, “Let’s go to Dairy Queen.” She is dancing by the car, her arms wrapped around her to keep warm from the cool November breeze. I can’t help but laugh at her. I’ve never seen a teenager more excited for ice cream. Pulling into the lot, I see Anne’s car already

parked. Katie hops out and bolts for the door while I take my time. I can see Anne giving Katie a hug through the windows. Locking my car, I open the door, and the “ding” signifies another guest has entered the small shop. Anne gives me a side hug as well, and I fish through my purse to grab my wallet. Anne orders first, getting an Oreo Blizzard. That was actually one of the things that enticed our friendship. We were listing our favorites and that was among one of the many. Katie orders a brownie sundae, and when it’s my turn, I stare at the cashier for a moment, a frown on my face. An Oreo Blizzard is screaming my name; however, that isn’t what I say to the lady. “Butterfinger Blizzard.” Katie and Anne both cast a confused look at me, but I just stare back at them. I’m confused as well. I’ve tried Kyle’s Blizzard before, many times. I’m not a fan, so why would I want to get it for myself? Sighing, I pay the cashier for both Katie and me and then accept the ice cream. We head over to a table where we all sit down, eating quietly. “Is it good?” Katie asks, a cautious look etching across her face. I chuckle and slide the ice cream to her. Surprisingly, it’s not as bad as I remember it being. It’s actually pretty good. Katie moans in approval. “Yum,” she says, then allows Anne a bite.

Except she takes another, and then two more. “All right!” I shout, snatching my ice cream back. “My ice cream.” I point to the brownie sundae and the Oreo Blizzard. “Your ice cream.” Anne and Katie giggle as they return to eating. I lean back in the chair and look around the small shop. It hasn’t changed since the last time I’ve been here, which is about two months. Kyle’s tradition only lasted about nine months; however, it was great to share something special with him. Every month, on the ninth, I will remember being here with him. No matter where I am, or what I am doing, I will always think of him. The “ding” sounds through the store, and I glance up to see Dallas walk in with Mikey and Tyler. They’re laughing about some joke, wide smiles adorning each of their faces. Dallas’s eyes scan the area until they land on me. His smile falters, and I see him gulp. “Let’s go.” Katie gets to her feet. She walks over, and I see Dallas look down at her. I can’t hear what Katie says, but I can tell it’s sharp, because he’s taken back by it. “Come on, Kayla,” Katie calls over her shoulder at me. Sometimes, I think she’s the older sister. Anne quickly follows after my sister, casting a glance at the three boys. I toss my garbage out and move to walk past Dallas. His warm hand locks around my wrist, and my feet stop short. I jerk my head around

to look up at him. “I-I…” His eyebrows come together as he’s a loss for words. “We’ll be outside,” Tyler says, grabbing Mikey by the shoulders and shoving him out the door. I look out the window and hold up a finger to Katie and Anne. This better be quick. “I’m sorry,” Dallas says. I sigh, closing my eyes. Sorry isn’t going to cut it. This is nothing like spoiling my Saturday to help a drunken idiot. This is breaking my trust, my friendship. “Okay,” I whisper, lifting my eyes to stare into his blue ones. Dallas frowns, his moppy blond hair falling into his eyes. “Kayla…I’m really sorry that I hurt you.” “No, Dallas. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have known better than to allow you to get too close. It was my mistake.” I shrug, pulling my arm away from him. I really didn’t want to spend today like this. This was supposed to be a good day, a happy day. I was supposed to remember Kyle and let the memory bring me bliss. But now Dallas has ruined it. He has brought forth my feelings and reminded me how much he hurt me. “Kayla…” “I have to go.” My voice is quiet as I turn away from him. I make my way to the door, ready to exit.

“I leave you guys all happy and friendly for a few days, and now look at you two.” I grip the handle on the door tightly as I recognize that voice instantly. I spin around to see Kyle sitting at the table I had just occupied. He has his arms crossed over his chest, a stupid, lazy smile on his face. He looks between Dallas and me, eyebrows raised. “Well, go on. Explain yourselves.” He motions to us. I turn to look up at Dallas, who has the same look of awe on his face. He’s finally back. But why? “You’ve been gone for a month, Kyle. Not a few days,” Dallas answers. Kyle looks at his brother with shock, eyes wide. He then frowns and looks down at the table. “Why are you here?” Dallas’s voice has dropped to a whisper. “Kayla and I…” He trails off and is silent for a moment. I watch as his eyes move across the table and his lips talk in silent whispers. He’s counting. “Happy birthday, Kayla,” Kyle says, looking me dead in the eye. I let out a soft gasp as a smile crosses my face. “I had a Butterfinger Blizzard.” “I told you they were good. I told you.” Kyle jumps to his feet, clapping his hands as he chuckles lightly. “It’s your birthday?” Dallas questions. I nod slowly, eyeing him cautiously. “You came here

every year?” “Every month, to be exact. On the ninth,” Kyle responds, walking toward me. He throws a punch to my arm. “Eighteen. Finally an adult.” I step back, rubbing my arm at the dull punch. It was odd. I know I felt the force of it, but it also felt as if he went right through me. I look down at my arm, half expecting a bruise to form. “What brought you here?” I ask. Kyle shrugs, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I’m not sure. I guess I was just drawn here.” Dallas turns to look at me, and when our eyes meet, I know we’re both thinking the same thing. More unanswered questions.

Chapter Twelve Forgiveness *Kayla* November 9, 2015 “Yes, I know.” I clench my hands into fists, feeling my nails bite into my skin. I wince when I manage to make a cut, and I feel warm blood drip from the wound. Ignoring it, I focus on the revolutionary news that Kyle just supplied to us. Dallas steps forward, eyes wide. “Who?” “I can’t tell you,” Kyle responds.

“What do you mean, ‘I can’t tell you?’ How are we supposed to help if you don’t tell us?” Dallas’s voice rises as I see tension forming on his shoulders. I understand his frustration, however. I am angry too. Kyle’s eyes stare up at his brother with uncertainty before he lets out a sigh and then looks over at me. “I have to go,” he whispers. “No. No,” I cry, stepping forward to reach out to him, but as my hand goes to grasp his shoulder, it falls right through the air. Kyle then deteriorates away before our eyes. I spin around to look up at Dallas. His eyes are watery as he shakes his head. “I can’t keep doing this,” he whispers. I take a step toward him but stop when I see him move back. “I just want it over, Kayla.” I nod my head and let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair. Turning my head, I look out the windows of the Dairy Queen shop to see Anne, Katie, Mikey, and Tyler staring at us, their mouths hanging open. Did they see Kyle too? “Why does he show up when he does?” Dallas asks, causing me to return my attention to him. I cross my arms over my chest, almost as if I’m hugging myself, and shrug. “Has he appeared to you?” I ask him. “No. You?” I shake my head, biting my bottom lip. “The last time we saw him was a month ago.

We were together. Then I kicked you out of my life, and he never came back. Now, we’re together at a Dairy Queen that means something to both Kyle and you, and he appeared.” Dallas’s voice is so soft as he paces the lobby of the shop, talking mostly to himself, voicing his thoughts. “Yeah, well. What’s the one thing Kyle wanted?” I mumble, turning away from Dallas to avoid his gaze. I don’t know what emotion would hide in his eyes, but I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to feel sorry for him or forgive him. But I do. “I’m so sorry, Kayla,” Dallas says, his voice gentle and sincere. I feel, rather than hear, him walk up behind me. I tense when I feel rough fingers tenderly seize my wrist. Looking down over my shoulder, I watch Dallas lift my hand to draw lazy circles on my palm. “Dallas—” “I always convinced myself that girls were distractions. That’s why I never had a girlfriend. Basketball was too important. After Kyle died, I decided to give up basketball; it doesn’t feel right to be on the team without him here to watch me. Distractions were acceptable.” Dallas tugs on my hand to twirl me around. “Though you were a distraction for pain. For sorrow. You brought me happiness and joy when I thought it impossible to ever have such feelings again. But Kyle needed my

help. And for his whole life, I always sidelined him. I couldn’t do that to him again, Kayla.” Dallas’s words are profound. They touch my heart. I had already forgiven him, though I felt cheated to forgive him when he didn’t truly deserve it. Now, with his explanation, I understand where he’s coming from. Dallas lived a life with different views than me. Now Dallas feels as if he has to make it up to his brother. Dallas raises my hand to place a kiss to my palm. I shiver, looking up into his blue eyes. “I sidelined you this time. And that was wrong of me. You’re just as much a part of this as I am. It was wrong of me to throw you aside. It wasn’t my place. I had no right to treat you that way. I hope you can forgive me, because I need your light in my darkness.” I smile at how corny that last part was. Bowing my head, I stare at our hands, twisting my fingers around his. I let out a deep sigh. If I tell him I forgive him, then it opens us up to a second chance. It opens my heart to possibly being stepped on again. But I have to eat the words I spoke to Dallas. We have to seize our opportunities of happiness. And who knows? This may be a sign from God. He might be delivering us a second chance. “I forgive you…but I’m only giving you one more chance. I am not one of your girls, Dallas. I will not be one of them,” I say, looking him dead in

the eye to get my point across. Dallas steps forward, closing the gap between us. His hands cup my cheeks, never breaking eye contact. “You never were and will never be one.” His words are a promise. One I hope he can keep.

It turns out Anne, Katie, Mikey, and Tyler did not see Kyle. What they did see was their best friends talking to thin air so passionately and emotionally that it elicited tears. Not knowing what to say to them, Dallas and I decide to just shrug off what happened. What could we say? Could we tell them the truth? Would they think us mad? Perhaps we are mad. Anne was not too thrilled with me reappointing Dallas as a friend. Katie seemed to be more understanding. She was the one who tried to convince me to befriend Dallas in the beginning. But it doesn’t matter what either of them think at the moment. It seems Kyle appears when Dallas and I are together, not apart. So, for the time being, they’ll have to get over the fact that Dallas is very capable of breaking ties and hurting me again. I have. But I truly believe that this time will be

different. Dallas claimed to have kicked me to the curb because he thought he had to focus of Kyle. However, the only way we can access Kyle is together. Dallas knows he’ll have to work hard to regain my trust. Just because I forgive him doesn’t mean I completely trust him again. I have to remain guarded. *Dallas* I didn’t expect Kayla to forgive me. No. I was certain she was going to refuse me. It’s what I deserve. However, it goes to show just how selfless Kayla is. I’m not sure if she forgave me for me or for Kyle. But most other girls wouldn’t have done so easily. I have a lot of work to do. Not only am I going to devote some of my time to catching Kyle’s murderer, I am going to spend an equal amount trying to win Kayla back over. A while ago, she gave me a few ideas of what she wishes to do. One in particular surprised me. She’s never been on a plane? A hot air balloon ride also surprised me, but in a different way. I had always wanted to go on one as well. I enjoy the heights but had never gotten the opportunity to go on a hot air balloon ride. I’ve

been hang gliding, zip lining, bungee jumping, and even parasailing. But never on a hot air balloon. Smiling, I remember back to when I took Kayla to the movie theater. I told her that I required her to take me zip lining, horseback riding, and on a boat. Unlike her list, I have done all of mine. Perhaps I’ll combine our lists together. Maybe after all these excursions, I will fully regain her trust. And, if I’m lucky, her heart.

“Basketball tryouts are today,” Tyler says, tossing one of my grapes at my head to bring me back from my thoughts of how I am going to get Kayla to forgive me. “I’m not going,” I say, tossing the grape in my mouth, looking around the cafeteria for Anne and Kayla. They’re not in their usual spots. “What do you mean?” Mikey interjects, leaning across the table. They’re appalled. I don’t blame them. Basketball has been the thread between the three of us since we were in middle school. I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck as if to wish away this conversation. “I can’t. Not after everything.” Mikey frowns, looking over at Tyler. They share

a silent conversation, shaking their heads at each other. “What are we shaking our heads at?” I can’t help the stupid smile that finds its way across my face when I hear Kayla’s voice. I look over my shoulder to see her standing there. She looks beautiful today. She looks beautiful every day. She’s dressed in her usual skinny jeans and sweatshirt. Her hair is pulled into a messy ponytail, and she wears a light coat of makeup. Her Nike shoes are navy blue, matching her sweatshirt. Kayla’s style was never one I found appealing. I actually found it lazy. However, I’d now rather she wear that than the blouses and skirts Ashley always wore. Kayla sits beside me, her eyebrow raised in question. “Dallas isn’t trying out for basketball today,” Tyler answers. His brown eyes meet Kayla’s, and I can tell he’s disappointed. Kayla turns to face me, her brow dipping. “How come?” she asks, her voice soft and not accusatory. “It doesn’t feel right, knowing that Kyle won’t be there to watch,” I say. I look down at my hands, sighing. It seems that every topic Kayla and I share revolves around basketball or Kyle. I wish that I could spend one day just getting to know her. Or even a lunch period.

“Kyle would want you to play. Basketball is your future.” “Is it?” I peek up at Kayla to see her frown before she nibbles on her bottom lip. Oh, how I wish I was the one biting that lip. If only she knew what she was doing to me. Kayla sighs, shaking her head. “Only if you want it to be.” I’m surprised by her answer. I’ve always been told that basketball is my path, and I have never had any thought to think of anything else. I have never given thought to being an accountant or a teacher or a contractor. What am I good at? Math? English? Could I find the area of a building? Or the velocity of a moving object? I never gave myself the opportunity to think about a different life. But when Kayla just now allowed me to, I’m realizing that there really isn’t another path for me to take. Reaching over, I gently grab Kayla’s hand. It’s been three days since she forgave me. I am taking things slow. I don’t want to risk having her run off. However, I may have to book this weekend up and take her to Lake Michigan. It may be a little chilly, but we’ll still be able to rent jet skis. “All right. Only if you come with me to tryouts,” I say. “You want me to come to tryouts with you?” Kayla asks, a soft smile forming on her lips.

Is that not what I just asked? I laugh. “It’s what I want, yes.” Kayla giggles, nodding her head in acceptance. I don’t know why she’s so excited to be going to tryouts with me. It will be dreadfully boring, and I’m sure she’ll want to escort herself out before it’s halfway over. But I enjoy her smile, and I won’t question its appearance. “Kayla?” She turns her head, her mouth full of turkey sandwich. “Hmm?” she asks, chewing quickly. Why is that so cute? I laugh at her. “What’s your favorite color?”

Chapter Thirteen Tryouts *Kayla* November 12, 2015 I’m surprised Dallas asked me to watch his tryouts. No one usually attends them, for they’re dreadfully boring and can last a good two hours. However, I happily accepted his invitation. I admire the sport, and all in all, I am honored. I met Dallas outside of the gym, and I could tell he was nervous. I didn’t understand why. He beat me at our one-on-one game. He’s talented; he took

this team to State two times. He’s almost guaranteed a spot, even if he has an off day. “You’ll do great,” I said, a smile on my face to encourage him. Now I’m eating my words. Sitting in the stands, watching as Dallas misses every shot is pure agony. I don’t understand what’s wrong. He travels while dribbling, stumbles over his feet, and makes nothing-but-air shots. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I begin to get nervous for him. His mind is elsewhere; that much is obvious. The only reason he could be doing so badly is because he’s thinking about Kyle. Did Kyle attend tryouts? I wondered… Standing to my feet, I walk down the bleachers to the court. “You can’t be on the court during tryouts!” Coach Durham yells, causing all the players to stop and look over at me as I hastily walk toward Dallas. I ignore them, stopping right when I’m a foot away from him. He’s covered in sweat, panting heavily as he looks at me with sorrowful eyes. “What’s going on?” I whisper, keeping my voice low so eavesdroppers can’t hear. “I can’t focus,” Dallas says. “Well, no duh,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. Dallas lets out a scoffing laugh. “What do you see? What am I doing wrong?” he

asks. I’m yet again shocked. Dallas Perkins is asking me for help? For advice? Whatever happened to “Perkins boys don’t lose to girls?” Scrunching my lips to the side, I look Dallas up and down. “You keep looking down. You keep looking at the ball as you dribble. You need to look ahead and be in sync with your dribbling.” I step back and nod for him to do so. He brings his ball to his side and begins bouncing it up and down while his eyes stay on me. “Whatever you’re thinking, I need you to blank it out. Right now, all that matters is that ball going through that net.” I point to the basketball hoop, my eyebrows raised. Dallas sighs, nodding his head. He then heads toward the hoop, and after a few steps, he looks down and then skids to a stop. He growls and places the ball between both his hands, squeezing. I notice the muscles in his arms working overtime as he does so. “I can’t get him out of my head,” he grits out, looking over at me. I sigh, glancing around at all the other players, who are either trying out for the coach or watching us. “He came to tryouts, didn’t he?” I ask. Dallas nods, resting the ball on his hip as he rolls his head back, closing his eyes. “Okay. Dallas, do you want this?” Dallas meets my eyes. “You know I do.”

“Then you need to try. You need to stop using Kyle as an excuse for failing. You’re a great basketball player, Dallas. You even beat me,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. He offers a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’re doubting yourself. That’s normal. But keep in mind that you trained Kyle. The same Kyle that beat you. You did that. So clearly, you’re doing something right. Push every negative thought out of your mind. Don’t think. Basketball comes naturally to you. It’s like riding a bike. Feel the rhythm within you. Dribble, run, shoot. Boom, boom, boom.” I snap my fingers to emphasize what I am saying. Dallas nods his head again. I step back. “Go.” I motion toward the hoop. Dallas lets out a sigh but turns to face the hoop. He begins dribbling the ball by his hip, taking a few deep breaths as he focuses on the hoop. Then I watch as his knees slightly bend and his shoulders hunch forward. Very quickly and stealthily, he begins running up to the basket, where he lands a perfect lay-up. I grin, clapping my hands slowly. Dallas grabs his ball and jogs over to grab the back of my neck and pull me into a hug. I pat his back, cringing at the amount of sweat gathered on his shirt. “Thank you,” he whispers. I nod my head and step back, looking up at him. “You got this. Go show them why the Perkins

boys always win.” I reach up to ruffle his hair, instantly regretting it as I bring it back down, covered in sweat. I mock heave as I turn and walk back up the bleachers. Sitting down, I watch as Dallas rejoins Mikey and Tyler, who give me a nod, and the three of them begin scrimmaging. “Well done.” The voice beside me is unmistakable. I smile to myself as I look over to see Kyle sitting beside me, dressed in his red shirt and dark jeans. He has his elbows resting on his knees and chin sitting on his palms. His eyes watch Dallas’s every move. “I’ve always enjoyed watching him play.” I cross my arms over my legs, pulling them to my chest. My eyes remain on Dallas as well, listening to Kyle talk. “To think that I might never see him play again is more painful than you can imagine.” Kyle’s voice breaks at the end, and I feel my chest tighten and my throat go dry. Tears gather in my eyes. “You’ll always be able to watch. You’ll look down on us and watch every game he plays,” I say. It’s a promise. This is not the end. When we find Kyle’s murderer and he finds peace, we might never see him again. But he’ll still be able to see us. “I’m glad he has you now.” I turn my head to look at him. “I always knew it was you. That’s why I was always so frustrated when he was so stubborn

about befriending you. I always knew you’d be the one to claim his heart. Dallas doesn’t do girlfriends. He doesn’t fall in love. But with you, it’s all possible. There’s hope that he’ll obtain real happiness.” Listening to Kyle talk, it’s hard to imagine he was only thirteen. He acts more mature than people twice his age. “Dallas will make mistakes. He will most likely hurt you a few times, but you mustn’t give up on him.” Kyle looks up at me with teary eyes. “Promise me you won’t leave him.” His voice cracks. A tear rolls down my cheek as I nod my head. “I promise.” Kyle looks back at Dallas and then closes his eyes, which then encourages a tear of his own to fall. “I have to go.” “Wait. Dallas will want to see you,” I say, desperate to keep Kyle with us just for a moment longer. Dallas will look over any minute, and he’ll want to see his brother sitting here. There’s no response, and when I look back to where Kyle was, all I see is an empty space. I feel a sob escape me, and I place a hand over my mouth. It will never get easier. Coach blows the whistle, signaling that tryouts are over. I hear footsteps on the bleachers; however, I continue to stare where Kyle previously was. “I made the team. Thank you again, Kayla.”

Dallas’s voice comes from above. I don’t respond. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?” His voice is laced with concern as he crouches down in front of me, placing a finger under my chin. Dallas tilts my head back so my hazel eyes meet his shiny blue ones. “Kayla, what happened?” “Kyle was here,” I whisper. Dallas’s brow dips as he stares at me. He then looks around the gymnasium, as if trying to find him. “He was glad to see you play again. He was glad that I’m here for you. Made me promise to stay. And now he’s gone again.” My bottom lip quivers as I feel tears roll down my cheeks. Dallas quickly thumbs them away, a frown settling on his features. “Why didn’t he stay?” “I asked him to. But he said he had to go. Why does he have to go? Why can’t he stay?” I ask, searching Dallas’ eyes for an answer. “Because he’s dead,” Dallas mutters, looking away from me. He stares at the bleachers for a moment. The basketball players emerge from the locker rooms, dressed in their usual clothing before they exit the gymnasium. Tyler and Mikey stick around, and I can hear them chattering away from up here. “Let’s go, love birds!” Mikey hollers. Dallas looks up at me again and offers a smirk. “That would be us,” he says, bringing light to the conversation. I roll my eyes and stand up, grabbing

my backpack. Dallas grabs my hand, as if to help me walk down the bleachers. However, when we step on the court, he doesn’t let go. He holds on tighter, lacing our fingers together. I peek up at him. He looks over at Mikey and Tyler. “So tomorrow is teacher conferences. No school. Do you guys want to come over? I got the new Halo game. We can all play, then watch movies,” Dallas says to Mikey and Tyler as the four of us walk out of the gym. “Sure, sounds good, man,” Tyler says. Mikey agrees, and Dallas nods his head, looking over at me. “You and Anne can come too, if you want.” I arch an eyebrow. Was he really inviting us to barge into their pissing contest? I know the whole night will involve competing and throwing insults at each other. “As long as I get a chance at playing, I’m down.” I shrug. Mikey bends forward to look around Dallas at me. “You play Halo?” he asks. His tone infers that he’s judging me. What? Women can’t play Halo? “I’ll have you know I am very skilled. Almost as talented as I am at basketball,” I chide. Dallas pulls me close and kisses the side of my head before dipping his head down to whisper in my ear. “So I guess I’ll beat you at Halo, just as I did at basketball.”

Scoffing, I release Dallas’s hand and throw a punch to his arm. I’ll show him. These boys will never doubt the capability of girls ever again.

“Are you sure your mom doesn’t care that you’re sleeping over?” Dallas asks as he grabs my overnight bag from my hands. Dallas texted me after school saying that Mikey and Tyler were planning on spending the night if Anne and I wanted to join. It took a decent amount of begging on my part, but my mom finally said yes. Anne’s parents were cool about it as well. “Are you sure your mom is okay with it?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. Dallas scoffs. “My mom loves you more than me. I’m sure she’d rather switch us out.” I smile, knowing that he isn’t far from the truth. However, Mrs. Perkins would never love me more than Dallas. But it’s very close. “Nice house,” Anne says as she enters behind me. I give her a side hug as she hands Dallas her bags. He holds both mine and hers in one hand as he grabs my hand with his other. Dallas does have a nice house. The Perkins are not bad off. They have completely updated appliances and expensive artwork. The furniture is

all black leather as well, and they have a massive flat screen mounted on the wall in the living room. The paint on the wall is professionally done as well. The floors are all hardwood with decorative rugs under the kitchen table and the living room couches. Dallas leads us up the stairs, where he tosses the bags into one room, but continues past it to another. I peek in to see his very own man cave. I smile, shaking my head at an assortment of beanbag chairs and La-Z-Boys. There’s another large flat screen with shelves of movies and video games. Underneath the TV is a table that holds an Xbox One, PS4, DVD player and a cable box. All along the walls are pictures of Chicago Bulls players, ranging from Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen to Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. There are a few Bears photos, but it’s obvious that this is a basketball family. Mikey and Tyler are already in bean bag chairs, controllers in their hands with cans of Mountain Dew beside them. “Welcome to the man cave,” Dallas says, offering me a smile. I roll my eyes but grin up at him. “I like it.” “Anne! Kayla! Come watch me dominate his ass!” Tyler hollers over at us. I laugh as Dallas drops my hand to close the door. I walk over to sit

on the black La-Z-Boy couch with Anne. She sits closest to Tyler and the two of them chat. Tyler is talented at multitasking, being able to hold a conversation as he does, indeed, beat Mikey. Dallas sits on the couch beside me, lifting the recliner up. I look over at him to see him already watching me. Shifting my body so I’m completely facing him, I place my hands under my head. Dallas reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Thank you. For today,” he whispers softly. “You’re welcome.” Dallas pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews on it a great deal before he lets out a sigh. “I’m picking you up at ten Saturday morning. Be ready,” he demands. I want to chuckle at how commanding he is, but decide against it. I’m eager to find out what he has planned. “What are we doing Saturday morning?” Dallas leans forward so his lips are to my ear again. Butterflies erupt in my belly and I have to bite my tongue to keep from squealing in excitement. “It’s a surprise.”

Chapter Fourteen Jet Ski *Kayla* November 14, 2015 It is 6:15 in the morning. I don’t think I have ever willingly been up this early on a Saturday. And it seems to show in my appearance as well. Bags are under my eyes from the four hours of sleep I got, considering Dallas kept me up all night, texting. My hair still isn’t combed, so knots are nestling at the back. I have no makeup on, so my eyes look even more dead.

I’m going to thump Dallas on the head when I see him. Curse him for keeping me up. Curse him for demanding I be up at this ungodly hour. The smile I’ve been wearing since Thursday night makes an appearance as I think about how Dallas is surprising me. He told me to be up and ready at 6:30 and to dress in casual clothing with a swimsuit on underneath. What is this man planning? Are we going to the Dunes to go swimming? Maybe a nearby water park? No. Water parks are closed mid-September, idiot. Sighing, I enter the bathroom to finish getting ready, combing my hair and then throwing it up into a messy ponytail. I brush my teeth, put deodorant on, then my favorite “Tease” perfume from Victoria’s Secret. Finally, I apply a simple amount of waterproof mascara. I don’t want to look like a raccoon if we do end up swimming. Running downstairs with my white Converse in hand, I stop to see my mom in the kitchen. She usually isn’t up this early either… “I heard you ransacking about. Woke me up,” she mumbles, pouring herself a cup of coffee. She then slides one across the counter for me, and I peek to see it has cream and sugar already in it. Smiling, I pick it up and take a sip. “I’m sorry,” I say, chugging the warm coffee

when my taste buds explode. My mom waves it off as she sits at the breakfast bar, crossing her legs as she looks me up and down. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go see a movie with Katie and me, but it seems you have plans.” I can’t help but look down at my outfit. All I’m wearing are jean shorts and a white sweatshirt with a Cubs logo on the front. “I’m sorry,” I say again, this time sheepishly as I look back at her. “Dallas is surprising me with an excursion. Said to dress causal with a swimsuit underneath. How do I look?” I ask, lifting my arms up at my sides and do a little spin. “Dallas?” I wait for her to continue, to answer my question, but when she quirks an eyebrow, I know she won’t. Sighing, I say, “Yes. Dallas is Kyle’s older brother.” “I know who Dallas is. Promise me you’ll be careful with him,” my mom says, taking a sip of her steaming coffee. I notice her wince a little at the heat, and I can’t help but wonder how she still has any taste buds. “I’ll be careful…well?” I lift my arms again. “You look the same as you always do.” My mom shrugs, a coy smile on her lips that she tries to hide with her coffee. I laugh lightly and reach over to thump her on the arm the same moment the doorbell rings. My

eyes dart to the clock over the stove to see it’s exactly 6:30. Did I mention that this boy is punctual? “Ooooh. Have fun!” my mom coos, and I just roll my eyes, down my coffee, and then place a kiss to her cheek as I turn and run for the door. I do well to grab my purse on my way out. Opening the door, I drop my Converse to the floor and slide them on, meeting Dallas’ eyes. He’s dressed in white, knee-length shorts and a University of Illinois sweatshirt. I have to admit; he looks good in that orange. Dallas reaches up and rustles his lightly damp hair, causing it to have a messy look to it as a smile stretches across his face. “You look great.” He holds out a hand, and I instantly take it, pulling the door closed behind me. Dallas pulls me into his arms and gives me a tight hug before he twists our fingers together and leads me off the porch. The morning air is a little chilly, but when the sun comes out, it will be in the high 50s today. As we walk down the driveway, hand in hand, I notice his Jeep parked at the curb, now sporting a hard top, and parked behind it is another car that I have never seen before. I arch an eyebrow and look over at Dallas. “Anne, Tyler, Mikey, and Shelby are in that car.” He answers my unspoken question, opening the passenger door of the Jeep for me. I smile, hopping

in. “Shelby?” I ask. Dallas shrugs. “Mikey’s girl,” he answers, shutting the door with a loud bang. Dallas jogs over to the driver’s side, where he slides in and starts the car. “Tyler and Anne?” Dallas smiles, switching on the radio but keeping the volume low so it’s background music. He pulls away from the curb and heads down the road, the Subaru Forester following close behind. “Did you not see them Thursday night? They barely stopped talking to one another. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.” I flush at his question. Little does Dallas know, but my thoughts were preoccupied that night. It seems that all I thought about was of him. Or Kyle. Kyle always managed to make his way into my thoughts, reminding me that as much fun as it is to be teenagers and go on surprise trips, we still have unfinished business. But we are teenagers. We are only eighteen and in high school once. We can’t forget to be young. I hate the fact that I feel guilty, running off to have fun with Dallas and my friends while Kyle’s murderer is still lingering around. We have to help Kyle. But we also have to be young.

I gnaw on my bottom lip, looking out the window of the Jeep as an internal battle takes place. No. Today, I am going to have fun. I have always been a stay-at-home-with-my-nose-in-abook girl for as long as I can remember. I am never spontaneous or do anything exciting. I will allow today to be a day of fun, laughter, and smiles. Then tomorrow, I will try to figure out a way to find Kyle again, and we will try to figure out a way to find the murderer. A warm hand closes around my own, causing me to lift from my thoughts. I look over at Dallas to see his brows dipped in concern. “Are you all right?” he asks, giving my hand a squeeze. I nod my head, offering a smile. “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired since someone kept me up until two o’clock,” I tease. Dallas chuckles, bringing our joined hands over so they lie on the arm rest in between us. “You could have stopped responding. Or said ‘goodnight.’ I would have let you sleep.” Dallas’s tone is gentle and coaxing. He’s very good at sweet talking people and somehow now making this my fault. Squinting over at him, I shake my head. “You devil,” I mumble. “Where are you taking me?” I arch an eyebrow. Dallas only continues to look at the road,

smiling. I lean back in my seat, watching the trees zip by. I almost fall asleep to the repetitive scenery; however, when it abruptly changes to a highway, I perk up. Glancing at the signs, I frown to see we’re headed away from Chicago. What could possibly be in the west? “Dallas, where are you taking me?” I ask, peeking behind to see the Subaru is still trailing us. I arch an eyebrow at my driver. He grabs my hand, giving my fingers a squeeze. “I already spoke to your mother, and Anne took it upon herself to pack your clothes and necessities. I’m taking you to the Ozarks, where you will learn how to ride a jet ski. Since it is quite the drive, we decided to spend the night at a hotel.” I feel my mouth hang open at his confession. My mother was actually okay with this? She was okay with me spending a weekend nearly seven hours away? Was that why she told me to be careful with Dallas? I’m honestly surprised she was even able to keep it a secret. “Thank you,” I whisper, looking at Dallas with a sincere expression. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I greatly appreciate it.

I cling tightly to Dallas, my arms wrapped around his waist and gripping his life jacket. The wind is deafening, nearly drowning out the sound of the motor as Dallas revs us even faster. As we hit a wave, we go flying in the air, only to crash smoothly on the water. My cheek is pressed against his back, his wet suit soft against my skin, and my eyes look over to see Anne and Tyler riding up on our right. They are sitting upon a red jet ski, Tyler driving and Anne holding on gently. She’s sitting with ease, not pressed against Tyler as if her life depends on it. Her beautiful red hair whips around in the wind, and I can’t help but feel jealous. She’s done this before. She’s not scared. But if she’s not scared, why should I be? I let out a sigh and gently peel myself off Dallas, lifting my head so I can look at our surroundings. Dallas quickly jerks his head to the side, dropping one hand from the handle bars to grab my right thigh. He looks over his shoulder at me, eyebrows dipping behind his sunglasses. “You okay?” he yells over the wind and motor, sparing a glance in front of him before looking back at me. I nod my head, smiling. I am perfect. I can’t believe that Dallas actually did this. That he somehow remembered through his drunken haze that I have always wanted to go jet skiing. Not only

did he remember, but he has actually taken me. I can’t help the fact that my heart is warm at the thought of the lengths he went through. This can’t have been cheap. “Thank you!” I scream. Dallas grins and then faces forward, and I slightly loosen my hold, resting my hands on his life jacket-covered stomach, lacing my fingers together. Looking to my left, I see Mikey and Shelby siding up with us. Shelby waves, smiling, and I spare a hand to wave back at her. Mikey looks over for a moment, his face slightly intense as he nods to Dallas before he veers off. With another wave, we go into the air, and I can’t help but giggle at the feeling. Suddenly, Dallas slows to a stop, and I sit up straight, dropping my hands from his waist. He swings a leg over the handlebars and takes the lanyard off his wrist. I look at him curiously as he then dives into the lake, sunglasses and all. I laugh, watching as he resurfaces, flicking his hair to the side and out of his eyes. He takes his sunglasses off so I can see his shining blue eyes. Dallas swims back to the jet ski and climbs on; however, he’s behind me this time. I tense momentarily as he slides me forward, wrapping his arms around my waist. “N-no. I can’t…” My voice is shaky with uncertainty.

“Shh,” Dallas whispers in my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder so I can hear him over all the motors and wind. He reaches around me to start up the engine and help slip my hand into the lanyard. “This is the throttle.” He grabs my right hand and lifts it up to the handle bar, closing my fingers around it. “Dallas…I—” “Kayla…this is the full experience. You will regret walking away if you don’t at least give this a try. I am with you the whole time. Nothing will happen,” he promises and then surprises me with a kiss to my cheek. My eyes are wide with both shock and fear as he presses even closer to me. “Now, gently…” With my hand still in his, he slowly twists the handle bar so we are now moving forward at an easy pace. I test the steering, turning the jet ski in full circle before going the other way. I nod my head, and Dallas moves us even faster, and I hold on to every ounce of courage I have as I steer us into the open water. Dallas very slowly retracts his hand and sets it on my hip, giving it an encouraging squeeze. Even though we are going at a semi-slow pace, Dallas never lets go of me or moves from being pressed close to my back. I am comforted by his closeness, knowing that if something were to happen, he’d instantly take over. But I’m focusing on making sure nothing happens.

Testing my courage even more, I go a little faster, and Dallas chuckles in my ear. I smile widely, feeling in control as I whip the jet ski around to see Tyler and Anne heading toward us; however, Anne is now driving. She turns the jet ski around so she is beside me, and I look over, lifting my left hand slightly to wave. She nods. We ride side by side for a few minutes before Dallas taps my thigh, and I slow the jet ski to a stop. I look over at him to see him twirl his finger. Oh, he wants to switch again. When I get back into my old spot, I go to wrap my arms around him but freeze when I see he is facing me, his back to the handle bars. “You did great,” he says, grabbing my hand and using it to pull me closer. I blush, bowing my head to avoid his intense gaze. Dallas takes my chin gently between a hooked forefinger and thumb. His thumb lightly presses against my bottom lip as he lifts my chin. Dallas smiles at me as he runs his finger over my lip. How is he so gentle? The same man that shoved me against my car is now sitting here, treating me to a day of jet skiing and gently caressing me. “You’re great,” he whispers, inching forward as his head dips down. My stomach does a flip as I hold my breath. He’s going to kiss me. My first kiss is going to be on a jet ski, buoying

in the middle of Lake Ozark. That’s what I call romantic. Dallas’s warm, sun-kissed lips meet mine, first softly, then feverishly as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me impossibly close to him. Our life jackets get in the way, but at the moment I don’t care. It’s simply perfect. I tangle my fingers into his smooth, blond hair, gently grabbing at it as he intensifies the kiss. It is obvious Dallas has had many kisses. He knows exactly what he’s doing. How to make my toes curl and my heart stop. I’m forced to break away when I need air, but Dallas takes that as an invitation to kiss my cheeks tenderly and then my forehead. I pant, keeping my head bowed to avoid his gaze. Was that kiss as great for him as it was for me? I wonder if I met his expectations, ’cause he surpassed my own. “Well, this is an awkward moment to pop around.” I tense and jerk my head around to see Kyle sitting at the end of the jet ski, a look of disgust and discomfort etching his face. I’m surprised he is able to find room, but then I realize I’m practically on Dallas’s lap, therefore creating enough space for him to sit. Kyle sits sideways, so his legs are on one side of the seat as he looks over the lake. He wears a torn expression as his eyes take in his surroundings, his

brown hair blowing in the wind. I slide off Dallas to reach over and place a hand on Kyle’s arm. He turns his head to look up at me, tears welling in his eyes. “I remember coming here every year. I’m glad you’re able to share this place with Kayla,” Kyle says, trying to smile through the memories. He looks around the lake, his blue eyes taking everything in. He watches people swimming, jumping off the backs of their boats, or floating around on innertubes. “Promise you’ll continue to come. Every year.” Kyle looks over at his brother. Dallas nods his head slowly, leaning forward to rest his forehead against his brother’s. They share a quiet moment, as if they are silently talking to one another.

Chapter Fifteen Here *Dallas* November 14, 2015 The feeling of Kayla’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist was indescribable. I have long waited to gain her trust back since I broke it a month ago. I knew it was going to be hard, and I would have to work at it, but it was worth it. To feel her clinging to me, as if I’m the only thing keeping her from plummeting to her death. It might not mean that she trusts me completely, but

at this moment, she does. And for now, that’s all I can ask for. I rev the engine faster, causing her hands to ball into fists against my life jacket. Tyler and Anne ride up along our right, Anne sitting with ease and comfort behind Tyler. She had told me earlier today that she’s been on jet skis a few times before. She isn’t afraid of them. And Kayla shouldn’t be either. Especially when I’m here. I would never allow anything to happen to her. Kayla suddenly lessens her hold on me, lifting her head from my back. I feel cold from the loss of her touch, and I drop my hand from the handle bars to touch her thigh, looking over my shoulder to see if she is okay. “You okay?” I yell over the sound of the motor and the deafening wind. I spare a few glances up ahead to ensure we don’t crash. Kayla nods her head, a smile stretching across her face. I love when she smiles. It warms my heart. “Thank you!” she screams. I grin back at her before I turn forward, returning my hand to the handle bar. I speed us up again, and Kayla lightly laces her fingers against my life jacket-clad stomach. Curse it for being in the way. Mikey and Shelby come to our left. Shelby and Kayla exchange a few waves, and Mikey gives me a curt nod. He doesn’t look like he’s having a great

time, when that’s all one should be having when on a jet ski with a girl wrapped around you. They veer off, heading back to shore, and I drive Kayla and me over another wave, sending us into the air. She giggles in my ear, and I can’t seem to wipe off the ridiculous smile on my face. Deciding that it’s time Kayla gets to enjoy the full experience of being on a jet ski, I slow us to a stop and dive into the water. When I resurface, I pull off my sunglasses, silently thanking God that they didn’t fall off in the water. Kayla watches me with her beautiful hazel eyes, smiling as I swim back. I climb up behind her and grab her waist. In one swift movement, I slide both of us forward so she’s right in front of the handlebars. “N-no. I can’t…” Her voice is shaky, and I feel slightly guilty for putting her in this situation. But this is what she asked for, no? I rest my chin on her shoulder and whisper, “Shh,” in her ear. I reach around to start the engine, and then I grab her slender left wrist to slide the red lanyard over it, fastening it. “This is the throttle.” I take her right hand and place it on the handle bar, curling our fingers around it. “Dallas, I—” “Kayla…this is the full experience. You will regret walking away if you don’t at least give this a try. I’m with you. The whole time. Nothing will happen.” I seal my promise with a gentle kiss to her

sun-kissed cheek. She freezes under my hold, and I know she’s nervous. I press closer to her, using my left hand to wrap around her waist and hold firm. “Now, gently…” I use my right hand that is covering hers to twist the handle so we move at a slow pace. Kayla begins to test the steering, turning the ski full circle, and then again the other way to get a feel of it. When she nods her head, I ease us into a little faster speed. When I sense her growing comfortable, I retract my hand and set it on her hip, giving it a gentle squeeze. She’s doing great for her first time. I can’t help but be proud. She’s overcome her fear, and I’m glad that I’m here to witness it. I remain close to her, even though the pace we’re going at is slow enough for a kid to sit unrestrained. However, I enjoy feeling her against me, and I know it calms her down. Suddenly, Kayla speeds up, and I can’t help but chuckle in her ear. I see her smile before she whips the jet ski around, and I see Anne driving toward us, Tyler behind her. Anne skillfully maneuvers their jet ski so they are beside us. Kayla lightly lifts her left hand to wave, and I see Anne nod back. After a few minutes of Kayla driving, I tap Kayla’s thigh. She seems to understand that I want us to stop, for it’s time for us to take the jet skis back. She looks over at me, and I twirl my finger,

indicating that it’s my turn to drive again. She stands and shuffles so she’s behind me. Not wanting it to end just yet, I turn so my back is to the handle bars and straddle the bench, looking at Kayla. She goes to grab onto me but stops when she notices my position. Her eyes widen slightly. “You did great,” I say, pride filling me as I grab her hand and use it to pull her closer to me. Heat settles on her cheeks, causing them to grow pink as she bows her head. She gets so embarrassed so easily. It’s the cutest darn thing I’ve ever seen. I gently grab her chin, pressing my thumb against her bottom lip, stroking it. It’s crazy how far we’ve come…how far I’ve come. To think that nearly two months ago, I hated this girl, despised her with everything in me. And now, I’ll be damned if I let her out of my life ever again. She’s helped me more than she could ever know. She’s still helping me. Every time I feel empty and lost without Kyle, I pick up my phone and text her. Within the minute, I get a response. Or whenever he leaves us from his appearances and I feel alone, all I have to do is remind myself what Kyle did for me from the beginning. He brought Kayla to me—in some morbid way, but nonetheless, I have her. She has always been here for me, and it was wrong to ever have cast her away.

“You’re great,” I whisper, looking down at her lush lips. I have wanted to kiss her since our date yet held off for her own good. But now, I can’t seem to control myself. I need to kiss her. I dip my head down and capture her warm lips with my own. I let out a soft moan at how perfectly innocent she is. She is slightly lost in the kiss, not sure of herself as she tries to return it. It only makes my stomach clench, knowing that I am her first kiss. And hopefully I’ll be her last. Kayla runs her fingers into my hair, gripping it as I pull her even closer, our life jackets in the way. I silently curse them again. They’re proving to do more evil than good. Kayla breaks away, breathless. I smile at the affect my kiss has on her, leaning forward to gingerly kiss both of her cheeks and finally her forehead. Best kiss I’ve ever had, that’s for sure. I smirk as she bows her head shyly. “Well, this is an awkward moment to pop around.” I feel Kayla tense in my arms before she jerks her head around to see Kyle sitting sideways on the bench of the jet ski. I watch him with wide eyes as he grimaces with mock disgust. Kayla slides away from me so she is beside Kyle, placing a hand on his arm. He looks across the water of Lake Ozark, watching as boats whiz

by. Then he turns his head to look at Kayla, tears gathering in his eyes. “I remember coming here every year. I’m glad you’re able to share this place with Kayla.” I watch my young brother, agreeing to his request to continue coming every year. It will never be the same. It will always feel as if something was missing. But Kayla and I will come every year, seeking Kyle out. He might not be able to appear before us, but we’ll know that he’ll share our time here with us. “Did Dallas ever tell you about how I beat him at a jet ski race?” Kyle asks, looking over at Kayla with a mischievous grin upon his face. I glower at my younger brother, hissing as Kayla giggles. I launch forward, wrapping my arm around Kyle’s middle, knocking us off the jet ski and submerging us in the water. I internally balk at the cool water and swim to the surface, shaking water droplets from my hair. I meet Kayla’s eyes immediately, smirking as she shakes her head. The brilliant smile on her face makes everything worth it. All the memories of being in the Ozarks and the slight heartache of my brother’s absence. I could live off of her smile. Swimming back to the jet ski, I pull myself up and look for Kyle but see that he’s nowhere in sight. Kayla wraps her arms around my waist and places a kiss to my cheek, silently offering me

comfort.

*Kayla* Tyler, Mikey, and Dallas slept in a room while the girls slept in a separate one. Our rooms were connected, and we stayed up most of the night watching movies and eating pizza. Dallas held me throughout every movie, having his arm around my shoulders, waist, or grasping my hand. It was as if he were scared I was going to evaporate into thin air if we weren’t in contact. I can’t necessarily blame him. When two a.m. rolled around, we went to our rooms and tried to sleep, for we had to wake up at eight. The drive home was lax, listening to calm music and eating bags of junk food. Again, Dallas didn’t release my hand. When I fell asleep for a cat nap, his hand was light upon my thigh. I offered to drive the second half but, being a typical male, Dallas refused. We are about twenty minutes away from home when I see the Subaru pull into a gas station. Dallas follows suit, hopping out to fill the tank with gas. I lean my head against the window, watching as Shelby jogs into the store, probably needing to use the restroom. Tyler fills up his tank, and I see Mikey follow after Shelby.

I glance at Dallas, and he catches my gaze and offers me a wink that causes me to smile like an idiot, my stomach fluttering. Dallas’s chuckle is muffled by the window, and I shake my head, looking back at the store. Mikey is standing near the entrance, talking to a man. They speak to each other animatedly as they use hand gestures to emphasize what they’re saying. The man Mikey is talking to looks over, and his eyes zero in on me for a moment too long before he looks back at Mikey. He shakes his head, holds up his hands, and then turns to walk away. “Who is that?” I ask Dallas when he slides into the driver’s seat. He glances at the man, staring him down for a moment before he shrugs. Mikey walks back toward his car, and my window rolls down. Dallas leans over me to shout, “Who was that?” “A friend,” Mikey answers, heading to the Subaru. My brows furrow as I stare after him for a moment before looking back at Dallas. “Where is Mikey’s dad? I only ever see his mom at the games,” I ask. Dallas arches an eyebrow, obviously thinking my question is odd. He grabs my hand and places a kiss to my knuckles. “His dad left when he was about six years old. He died two years ago in a car accident.” I frown. It appears all our fathers are either deceased or

absent. “Seems all our mothers are strong, independent women.” Dallas smiles, driving out of the gas station, following our friends. “Tyler’s dad is really the only dad figure I have in my life,” Dallas says. My heart clenches for him. How sad, to have a father so absent that another had to step in and take his place. I hold his hand in both of mine, softly caressing it as I whisper, “I’m sorry.” Dallas offers me a small smile, squeezing my fingers. I wish I could take away his pain. “I felt him.” I hear a voice from behind me, gasping. I drop Dallas’s hand, turning around to see Kyle in the backseat. He looks out the window of the car, watching all the vehicles zipping by. “He’s here.” I look at the road, my eyebrows coming together. “What do you mean he’s here? As in on this street? In the building across the intersection? The next car over?” Dallas asks. I peek over to see his grip on the steering wheel tightening. I place a hand on his thigh, trying to project calming thoughts through my touch. I do not want to get into an accident. “I don’t know. I just feel him. He’s somewhere…” Kyle stops, and I glance over my shoulder to see him placing his head in his hands. “It’s going to be okay, Kyle. Do we know him?”

I ask. Dallas pulls over, and I see we’re in front of his house. Our friends file out of the Subaru, already making their way into the house. “Yes…and no…” I fight the urge to grind my teeth at the evasive answer. What does that even mean? We know him, yet we don’t? Perhaps I know him, yet Dallas doesn’t? Or vice versa? “Well, what does he look like?” My voice is soft, almost as if I am coaxing a frightened foal. Kyle lifts his head, his sky blue eyes penetrating my gaze as tears roll down his cheeks. The heart within my chest is squeezing, making it feel as if I will not live another moment, the pain in Kyle’s eyes is so intense. “I have to go,” he whispers, never meeting Dallas’s eyes. Does he feel ashamed because he cannot give us answers? Or does it pain him that much more, seeing the raw desperation upon Dallas’s features? I turn to look at Dallas, not wanting to watch Kyle evaporate from the backseat of the car, almost as if he was never there. Sometimes, I do wish it were all a dream. That I’d wake up with the knowledge that Kyle is dead, yet he has found his peace. That he isn’t stuck, waiting for us to find the answers. Guilt overwhelms me, no matter how much I try

to justify this weekend with the fact that we’re still kids who deserve a good time.

Chapter Sixteen Thanksgiving *Kayla* November 25, 2015 Today is the first day of Thanksgiving break. It’s a much-needed break from the stress of school. Being a first semester senior is extremely stressful. College is riding on our grades and all our extracurricular activities. Since I’m not in any sports or clubs, my grades need to be superb. Dallas has nothing to worry about, now being on the Waubonsie basketball team once again. He’ll

definitely get a scholarship to University of Illinois. I applied to Northern Illinois University and Illinois State University, along with a few colleges out of state, like Michigan. But I don’t necessarily want to leave Illinois. An in-state tuition is far more reasonable than an out of state. I’ve been accepted by both Northern and Illinois State. I haven’t heard back from Michigan yet. But I’m already leaning toward Illinois State. They have an excellent teaching program. Tutoring Kyle opened the door to teaching for me. I realized just how much I love helping kids with education, and I know I can make it fun, unlike most teachers. I pull on a pair of black yoga pants and a blue sweatshirt before I throw my hair up into a messy ponytail. When I look in the mirror, I scrunch my lips to the side at my mediocre appearance. I wear similar outfits every day. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve worn a sundress with a nice hairstyle. Turning, I look around my bedroom, biting my middle fingernail as I contemplate living on the edge. What would Dallas think? He’ll probably think he came to the wrong house. I smirk at the thought and walk to my closet, a pep to my step as I look at my clothes. I quickly grab a pair of black skinny jeans and then struggle

between a floral blouse that hugs more at my middrift or a teal blouse that flares out from being gathered under my breasts. I rip the teal blouse off the hanger and quickly change into the outfit, blushing when I see the price tag still on the shirt. I am a horrible person, allowing my mother to buy me these nice clothes, but then I never wear them. After I have the jeans and shirt on, I pull on black knee-high boots that only have a half-inch heel. Deciding I need to do something with my hair, I take out my curling iron and put in large curls. I bend over and use hair spray to keep the hair styled perfectly, and when I flip it back up, I grin at how beautiful it looks. I barely recognize myself. It’s crazy what a few extra minutes and a little patience can do. It’s been a week and a half since the jet ski excursion. I’m not exactly sure what Dallas and I are. We’ve only ever kissed that one time. He does occasionally kiss my cheeks or the side of my head, but that doesn’t mean we’re dating, does it? Well, either way, he’s coming over to pick me up, so Tyler, Anne, he, and I can all go bowling. It was Anne’s idea, and naturally, Tyler agreed. Therefore, we were all tied into the double date. Mikey broke up with Shelby a few days ago, much to my displeasure. I really liked Shelby; she was becoming a good friend. I hope the break up

doesn’t keep her from hanging with Anne and me. Heading downstairs, I see Katie sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. Glancing at the clock, it reads 4:48 PM. What a weird time to be eating cereal… Katie’s eyes widen when she sees me, looking me up and down. “Moooom! Something happened to Kayla! Hurry!” I open my mouth to say something but am cut short with the thundering footsteps of my mom as she runs down the stairs, sliding into the kitchen. She looks around to find the problem, but her eyes settle on me, and her mouth falls open. “Oh my.” My mom covers her mouth with her fingers, a smile peeking out behind them. “Honey, you look beautiful. Is that the blouse I bought you last year?” I roll my eyes but smile at her compliment. “Yes. And thank you.” I walk over to hug her. “I won’t be home until about ten or eleven. Don’t wait up.” I give her a kiss on the cheek and then ruffle Katie’s hair, much to her displeasure as she works to fix it. I grab my purse and head for the front door, knowing Dallas will be here in less than a minute. He promised to be here at 4:50, and from past experiences, he is never late. “Oh wait, honey!” I spin around to raise my eyebrows at my mom. She walks over to me,

crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought perhaps we could invite the Perkins over for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Would you mind asking Dallas, just to see if they don’t already have plans?” She tucks a piece of my curled hair behind my ear and smiles. It’s actually a really good idea. I never thought about inviting them over. It’s going to be the first Thanksgiving without Kyle, and I’m sure Mrs. Perkins isn’t in the mood to make a full course dinner with one less person. I nod and then kiss my mom’s cheek again before I open the door to see Dallas standing there, hand raised to knock. I smile and quickly exit the house, closing the door behind me. Dallas stares at me, his eyes slightly wide as he takes in my appearance. “Uh…” he mutters, biting his bottom lip before meeting my eyes. I almost laugh at his expression. “Am I at the wrong place?” he asks. This time, I do laugh. That is exactly how I predicted he’d react. Dallas smirks and reaches to grab my hand, pulling me close to his side to kiss my forehead. “You look beautiful, Kayla,” he whispers in my ear. Butterflies erupt in my belly, and I blush, looking away from him. I’m not good with compliments, mostly because I hardly ever got them with my usual attire. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“Are you ready to kick some serious Tyler ass?” Dallas leads me to his Jeep Wrangler, and I chuckle at his question. These boys really are competitive. Whatever happened to just playing for fun? “Oh yeah. Is it boys against girls? Or are we a team?” I ask once we’re buckled in and driving away. Dallas reaches for my hand again and gives it a gentle squeeze. “We’re a team. Of course.” I suck on my bottom lip to keep a grin from forming as I turn to look out the window to hide my pink cheeks. Does Dallas even know the affect he has on me? Just having him talk to me, I’m blushing half the time. I still can’t believe how far we’ve come. I hear Dallas chuckle softly and roll my eyes. He’s told me how adorable my shyness is to him. What an absurd thing to say. How could that be adorable? It’s extremely embarrassing. After a moment of silence and I’m able to collect myself, I turn to face Dallas. “Hrm…my mom wants you and your family to come over for Thanksgiving tomorrow. That is, if you want to and don’t have plans.” Dallas pulls up at a red light and strokes his chin, humming as if he’s seriously thinking this through. “Your mom wants this?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow at me. Darn him. I blush fiercely and smile down at my lap.

“I want you to come too. I just meant it was her idea,” I whisper. “Ahhh…I see.” I peek at him through my hair to see him smiling as the light turns green. He continues driving and gives my hand another squeeze. “Of course I want to come. What can I bring? I was thinking of making apple pie with my mom. Is that good?” he asks, sparing a glance at me for only a second before he concentrates on the road. Did he really just accept my invitation? “You don’t have to bring anything, Dallas. We want to do this for your family,” I say. This time, I squeeze his hand. Dallas lifts it and presses a kiss to my knuckles. “Thank you, Kay.” The nickname brings a smile to my face, and luckily, we pull into the bowling alley parking lot, and I can distract myself to keep from blushing. Grabbing my purse, I hop out of the car and then walk around the front to meet Dallas. He instantly grabs my hand, and we walk together into the bowling alley. Anne and Tyler are at the counter picking out shoes when we reach them. They both turn to smile at us; however, Anne has a look of shock on her face. Here we go again. “Whoa. Holy hot, Kayla!” Anne exclaims, walking over to give me a hug. I laugh, rolling my

eyes before I give Tyler a quick hug as well. “You look great!” “Thank you. Did you guys get the lane already?” Tyler nods and wraps an arm around Anne’s shoulders. “All right, well, next game we’re paying,” I tell them. “I’m paying,” Dallas interjects, arching an eyebrow at me to dare to contradict him. I just shake my head, trying not to smile. He’s a real gentleman sometimes. After getting our shoes and bowling balls, we all sit at the table where Tyler punches in all our names in the computer. I was secretly proud that neither Anne nor I asked to have the bumpers up. Proof that we are adults now. “You guys are going down,” Tyler challenges as he grabs his ball and goes to bowl. Dallas snorts as he leans back in his chair. “No way. Kayla and I are an indestructible team. We’ll demolish you.” We are a team. That is the second time he’s said it in the last thirty minutes. Does that mean…?

Dallas and I ended up winning. He practically carried us through a landmine and No Man’s Land to win. The most points I got out of the two

matches was 70. I don’t even know how it’s possible to be so bad at bowling. Today is Thanksgiving, and Dallas and his parents are coming over for dinner. I have never met his dad before, and I’m a little nervous to do so. It’s clear that he’s distant from his family. Is it going to be obvious? Will it be awkward? Dallas informed me that he’d be over at noon to help set up and make dinner. When I tried to deny him, he insisted and didn’t leave room for argument. It was kind of him; I didn’t expect him to want to help make dinner. He didn’t look like the type who slaved in the kitchen. Maybe there’s a lot I don’t know about Dallas. No, I know there is a lot. I decide to dress up again today, mostly because it’s a holiday and partially because Dallas will be here. I’m wearing a honeydew green sweater dress that meets at my mid-thigh with knee-high brown boots. I also accessorize with a long silver locket that my mom bought for me many years ago. It holds a picture of my dad. I then decided to straighten my hair and then pull half of it back, so my bangs aren’t in my face. Pleased with my appearance, I go downstairs to see my mom dressed in a long black dress with a belt at the waist. My sister is wearing a red dress with a bow at the back that is very flattering on her.

I can tell she’ll get a lot of male appraisal in high school. “You look beautiful. Again,” Katie says, walking over to hug me, and I roll my eyes, glancing at the clock. Dallas will be here in ten minutes. We stayed out later than I anticipated, going to Steak N’ Shake afterward, where we hung out for another two hours. I didn’t get home until one in the morning. Luckily, my mom didn’t mind or wait up for me. Therefore, I slept in later than usual, waking up at ten. It’s the latest I’ve slept since summer. “Thank you. Mom, do you need any help?” I call out to the kitchen. “Yeah, you can get all the bowls and trivets out!” she hollers back to me. I walk into the kitchen and grab our nice glass bowls that we use whenever we have company. I set them on the kitchen counter next to the sink. I then grab three trivets from the drawer and carry them to the dining room table, where I lay them out. A knock sounds at the door, and I look at the clock. He’s early. “Come in!” I shout. I hear the door open and glance over my shoulder to see Dallas walk in, a bouquet of pink roses in his hand. He’s dressed in nice black slacks with a dark blue shirt tucked in. He has a blue striped tie on, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

He is pure perfection. I smile as he walks over to me, dips his head down, and gives me a quick peck. “Happy Thanksgiving,” Dallas says softly. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dallas.” “Where is your mom? I got her these flowers.” I point to the kitchen, and he leaves to go hand them to her. Pink flowers symbolize appreciation, grace…it’s a simple and meaningful way of saying thank you. My heart tugs at how thoughtful he is. I hear my mom thank Dallas in the kitchen. “No, no. Thank you. It was very generous of you to invite my family to have Thanksgiving with you. It means the world to my mom.” I grin, and then I hear a few pats and rustling. They’re hugging. I look over at Katie, who is smiling back at me. She shrugs her shoulders and then heads to the kitchen. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dallas!”

It took us four hours to make everything, mostly because it all had to cook. We invited everyone to be over at three thirty, so we had a half hour of socializing before dinner would start. Dallas held my hand the majority of the night, especially tight when he introduced me to his father. I’m not sure if he was nervous or if it was a

protective mechanism. I just know that Dallas isn’t particularly close with his father. I do have to admit; Jack Perkins is handsome. He’s well built, clearly keeping in shape since his basketball career. He has darker hair, but his eyes are just as blue as Dallas’s and Kyle’s. He is a carbon copy of Dallas, aside from the hair. Kyle was identical to his mother, apart from the different eye color. Mrs. Perkins has brown eyes. My mom is very social, as is Katie. Between the two of them, conversation flows easily. My mom is friends with Mrs. Perkins. They met at work and had a great talk about the subject. Apparently, it’s been stressful as of late. During the holidays, people get reckless and stupid. They take more drugs, drink and drive, go on more vacations… Mr. Perkins doesn’t really have much to say. I ask him what kind of work he does, and his answer is abrupt and brief. “I’m an accountant.” He doesn’t even lift his eyes to look at me. I am about to ask another question, but Dallas squeezes my hand, cutting me off. I look over at him, and he just gives me an apologetic smile and shakes his head. Dinner goes by smoothly. Dallas, Katie and I are able to keep ourselves entertained as we talk endlessly about various topics. Dessert is absolutely delicious. “This pie is to die for,” I whisper in Dallas’ ear.

He chuckles and turns his head to kiss my cheek. “Thank you,” he whispers back. I look around the table. My mom is chatting with Mrs. Perkins, having a light conversation. Katie is devouring her apple pie. Mr. Perkins has his head bowed as he looks at his phone. Dallas is holding tight to my hand as I notice him glaring at his father. I am about to comfort him until I am interrupted. “Mom…” The voice is so soft and broken, it ignites a raw emotion within me. Whipping around, I look at Kyle standing there, his eyes fixated on his mother. Dallas drops his fork beside me, causing it to clatter against the plate. “Kayla? Dallas? You all right?” my mom asks. I look over at her before I turn my eyes to Dallas. He opens his mouth but then shuts it. “Yes. I just need Dallas’s help with this assignment I totally forgot.” I stand, Dallas following suit as we back up to the stairs. “Is it all right if we go up? Yeah? Okay. Great meal.” I spin and nod to the stairs at Kyle, telling him to go. But he doesn’t move. He stands stock still, his eyes planted on his mother.

Chapter Seventeen Tattoo *Kayla* November 26, 2015 Water gathers in Kyle’s eyes as he stares at his mother, who is only sitting a few feet away from him. Small tremors shake through his body as he holds back sobs. I’ve never seen anything so heart wrenching in my life. A boy who so desperately wishes to be in his mother’s embrace once more, however impossible it may be. The truth has a cold and bitter sting.

We have to get him upstairs. I don’t know how much time we have with him today, and Dallas and I can’t continue to stand at the bottom of the stairs. Our parents will begin to wonder. “Dallas, can you grab some printer paper?” I ask, pointing to the printer in the living room, which is across the hall from the stairs. Dallas spins on his heels, briskly walks over, and grabs all the paper in the printer. He holds his hand out as he walks back, as if silently asking if that is enough. The stack successfully hits Kyle in the head as Dallas passes, causing Kyle to jump at the impact and look over at us with wide eyes. “What?” he snaps, frowning. Dallas nods up the stairs, and I turn around, taking the stairs two at a time. I jog to my bedroom door, hearing the patter of their footsteps behind me. I open the door and allow Dallas and Kyle to enter first before I follow and pull it closed behind me. Letting out a sigh, I lean against the wall and dip my head. Dallas slaps the stack of papers on my desk before he turns to Kyle. “She looks good,” Kyle whispers, his eyes downcast. I side glance at Dallas to see him frowning. “I’m sorry, Ky,” he says, his voice soft and comforting. Kyle shrugs his shoulders and walks over to sit at my desk chair. “Happy Thanksgiving, guys,” Kyle mutters, his

voice stoic, lacking emotion. “Happy Thanksgiving, Kyle,” Dallas and I say in unison. I wring my fingers together as silence surrounds us. I don’t want to sadden the boy any further. Perhaps we can dismiss talk of the murderer for today. We can just enjoy each other’s presence. “He has a tattoo,” Kyle mutters, staring intently at my carpeted floor. I suck my bottom lip in between my teeth and go about chewing it. “Inside of his right wrist. I remember it from that night.” Kyle shudders as he relives the moment he was killed, the man pulling the gun on him. So he’s right handed and has a tattoo. I’m not going to ask what it is. I decide that I am not going to ask anything. I’m sure Dallas is thinking the same, for he is silent as well. “It’s a heart with a heart rate line going through it,” Kyle continues and brings a hand up to scratch the back of his head. “He’s dark skinned. Perhaps from being in the sun too much. From what I could tell, he was stocky.” I scrunch my lips to the side, trying to recall someone who fits that description. But I am antisocial. I always sat in the back of the class with my nose in a book. I hardly notice the people around me. If anyone would know that man, it’d be Dallas. Looking over at Dallas, I see he’s already staring

at me, trying to find reassurance that I’d know the man. I let out a sigh and return my attention to Kyle. “That’s all I can tell you about him. I can’t say anymore,” he says. I really wanted to know why he can’t. What is keeping him from just flat out telling us a name? “Are you guys, like, a couple now?” He waves his hand between Dallas and me. “Um…” I start. “Yes,” Dallas intervenes, looking over at me with scrutinizing eyes. “That is, only if Kayla will have me.” I notice, for the first time in the few months that I’ve known Dallas, a blush tinting his cheeks. I have to admit, it’s actually really cute. I guess I now understand why he calls my shyness adorable. “Um…girlfriend, boyfriend? I mean, me be your girlfriend?” I stumble over my words, pointing back and forth between us. Dallas smirks, and I’m eager to slap it off his handsome face. That smirk is so frustrating, knowing he’s teasing me again over how shy and innocent I am. Dallas nods his head, and I look over to Kyle to see him smiling widely. When he notices my eyes on him, he nods his head so quickly it rivals a bobblehead. I laugh. “All right. If you’re sure you want me.” Dallas

rolls his eyes, and I feel butterflies form in my stomach. Did that really just happen? “It’s finally official. I can now formally say I was right,” Kyle says, crossing his arms over his chest, quirking a brow. I chuckle and walk over to wrap my arms around him in a hug. He pulls me tight, giving me a breath-halting squeeze. “You were right, Ky.” Dallas gets to his feet, and I move aside so he can hug his brother now. “I just wish I noticed sooner.” “Don’t dwell in the past, Dallyboy. Just be thankful of what you have in the present.” Kyle’s words are wise and what everyone should go by. We all sulk over what we don’t have, and in the process, we are blinded to what we do have. Dallyboy. I remember Kyle calling him that a few times after tutoring sessions. What a cute name. “I have to go. Happy Thanksgiving. I love you guys.” “I love you,” Dallas and I say just as he evaporates before us. Just as every time he leaves, a sadness overwhelms me. I turn to Dallas, and he frowns down at me. Reaching out, Dallas grabs the back of my neck and pulls me to his chest, tucking me under his chin. Just like at the beach.

I smile softly at the memory of jet skiing. It was truly a wonderful day. I pull away from Dallas and flop down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. “We’ll have to keep our eyes open for anyone fitting the murderer’s description.” Dallas grunts in reply. “It doesn’t even sound familiar. The tattoo, I mean. I thought Kyle said we know him?” I twist so I am lying sideways and look up at Dallas. His arms are crossed over his chest, his beautiful blue eyes swimming with confusion. “Perhaps we do. We just don’t know it.” Dallas sighs and then heads over to lay beside me, gazing up at my fan. I drop my head onto my arm, watching him. Dallas’ features are so soft. His hair has a gentle wave, since it’s grown back now. His eyes are delicate, his skin smooth. His nose has the perfect curve; his jaw is angular. The only rough part about him is his blond facial hair. It’s subtle but very masculine, making him look older than he is. Dallas turns his head to look back at me, and I blush, knowing that I’ve been caught. I remember the last time I was caught admiring his appearance. It was not pleasant. “Are you done?” he snaps. I shiver at the memory and frown. What a different man he was. I can’t imagine Dallas snapping at me now. “What’s wrong?” Dallas asks, concerned. I meet

his eyes again. Hazel to blue. “Nothing. Just remembering the time I was caught staring at you, that Saturday before,” I admit, not wanting to lie. Dallas seems a little confused before his eyes widen with recognition and then shame. He reaches over and brushes his knuckles along my cheekbone. “I was so awful to you.” His voice is small. “I’m so sorry, Kayla.” I shrug my shoulders and offer him a smile, trying to reassure him. It really doesn’t bother me now. It seems like a different life. “It’s okay, Dallas. That’s not who you are now.” “Is it not?” “No.” I move closer to him, our foreheads nearly touching as I run my fingers through his hair. “No, it is not.” My voice is firm and promising. No matter what anyone says, Dallas is not who he used to be. I can see it in his eyes. They have never been so soft and tender. To anyone, not even Kyle. And now, he holds so much love and kindness in them. It’s as if Kyle’s death opened up a whole new perspective of life to him. Does Dallas really want to be the playboy who sleeps with numerous girls? Or does he want to actually enjoy life in its purest of ways? Love is a fragile and wonderful emotion. I hope that one day Dallas will experience the full extent of loving someone. I know he will.

No matter what, I know Dallas doesn’t want to go back. His old life was meaningless and cold. He pushed away everyone, sacrificing his relationships with his mother and Kyle. So, no. He is most definitely not the same. “I was thinking of making apple pie with my mom.” I smile, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. “I like who you are now,” I say, placing a hand on his exposed cheek that I just kissed. Dallas smirks and turns his head to place a kiss to the inside of my palm. “I never told you how beautiful you look right now.” I want to snort. Beautiful is too grand a word for me. It’s best suited for Ashley. Ashley always dresses like this. Always wears dresses and skirts, high heels and boots. Always slathered perfectly with makeup, her hair styled every day. She wears beautiful jewelry. Her style is beautiful. It’s what guys typically prefer, not that I blame them. “It’s better than the sweatshirts I always wear, huh?” I ask, looking down at my green sweater dress. I do have to admit how pretty it is. And it’s comfortable. Perhaps this dress is an exception. “Actually, no.” Dallas’ response catches me off guard, causing my eyes to snap back up to meet his.

He smiles at my reaction. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful right now. But you’re stunning when you’re in your comfort zone. I love when your hair is in that messy ponytail. I love that Cubs sweatshirt that is nearly two sizes too big for you. I love those faded jeans and your Chuck Taylors. I love that you play basketball and that you can very well kick my ass. I most definitely prefer your style over anyone else’s. That is a promise, Kayla.” I stare at Dallas throughout his whole confession, my mouth open in awe. Was any of this real? Did he really ask me to be his girlfriend? Did he really admit to liking my style above Ashley’s? Before I can stop myself, I practically shoot forward and attack his face. Or I’m sure that’s what he assumes I’m doing. I kiss Dallas with so much emotion behind it that I feel as if I am on the verge of crying. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and it was raw and honest. He meant every word. Dallas grabs my hips in his hands and gives me a squeeze as he pulls me closer and kisses me back with just as much fervor. I reach up to slide my fingers into his soft hair, closing them around the thick locks. This is my second kiss, and I’d like to believe that I’m doing much better than my first. When Dallas’s tongue gently slides across my

bottom lip, I lose my breath and pull away, ducking my head down in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he whispers in my ear, kissing the back of my head. His arms coil around my back, refusing to let me go as he holds me close. “I’m sorry,” I say, finally looking up at him, though I’m blushing a bright red. Dallas retracts an arm to rub the back of his hand across my burning cheek. “I didn’t mean to attack you.” Dallas lets out a barking laugh as he throws his head back in amusement. I frown, wondering why he’s laughing at me. I really am sorry. I probably scared him for a moment until he realized that I was kissing him. “I never want you to be sorry for kissing me, Kayla. Ever.” Sighing, I duck my head down, embarrassed again as I press my face against his chest in hope of hiding from him. Dallas brushes hair from my cheek and tucks it behind my ear. His touch is so soft, it sends chills up my arms and down my legs. This stupid sweater dress is failing to keep the chills at bay. “I enjoyed it,” Dallas whispers, his lips right at my ear. His breath tickles, and I smile into his tie. “Okay,” I mumble, not knowing what else to say. You’d think with all the romance books I read that I’d be more comfortable than this.

Chapter Eighteen Crinkle *Dallas* December 11, 2015 Christmas is quickly approaching. It seems every week is going by faster, and I’m still struggling with what I should get Kayla. It’s evident that Kayla isn’t one to gush over diamonds and pearls. She wants sentimental gifts, not materialistic. But those are also the hardest gifts to find. I’ve only known Kayla for a few months, and

she has already become very important to me. I hardly know anything about her, but I also want to get her something special for Christmas. I want her to remember it as our first Christmas together. Because it will most definitely not be our last. “You’re crinkling,” I hear someone whisper in my ear. The mandatory smile that adorns my face whenever Kayla’s around makes an appearance as I turn to see her take a seat next to me in our Psychology class. “I’m crinkling?” I question. That is not the typical compliment one usually gives. Is it even a compliment? Kayla is back to wearing her usual jeans and sweatshirt. Her hair is in a messy bun today instead of a ponytail. I can’t help but find her ten times more attractive right now than when she was all dressed up for Thanksgiving. Kayla is comfortable and confident when she’s wearing these clothes, and that alone makes her gorgeous. Kayla lifts a hand and softly rubs her forefinger between my eyebrows. “Whenever you’re in deep thought, you crinkle. Right here.” Her touch is gentle and welcoming. I could live off of it. It surprises me, however, that she is touching me. She’s still self-conscious about us being together in front of our classmates. She’s worried about what they might think. I couldn’t care less about what anyone else thought. Kayla is

extraordinary, and she makes me unbelievably happy. For some unknown, miraculous reason, she agreed to be my girlfriend, and that is the end of it. I don’t need anyone’s two cents on the matter. “Just thinking about Christmas and what to get you,” I admit. I came to the conclusion a while ago that I will not lie or omit the truth with Kayla. Her trust is fragile with me, and I will work hard not to break it. Kayla bites her bottom lip and then turns in her desk to look down at her notebook. I will never get over her shyness. “You still haven’t told me what you want,” I whisper, leaning closer. Kayla puts her left elbow on the desk and sits her chin in the palm of her hand. Her beautiful hazel eyes meet my blue ones. “I just want to be with my friends and family.” Kayla reaches under the table for my hand that’s resting on my thigh. She gives it a squeeze. “I promise.” I believe her. But I’m still going to get her something. “All right.” I lift our joined hands and place a soft kiss to her knuckles. “You shall have what you want.”

“It’s too cold to go swimming. Isn’t the lake,

like, frozen over?” Mikey says. I arch an eyebrow as Kayla and I near the cafeteria table, our hands interlocked. Tyler, Anne, and Mikey are in deep conversation, the three of them arguing. I’m glad that Tyler and Anne have found happiness with each other. Tyler deserves a girlfriend who’s as selfless as he is. Kayla sits across from Anne, and I sit beside her. “What are you guys going off about?” Kayla asks, dumping her lunch items on the table. Tyler reaches over and grabs her bag of Goldfish. Not long ago, we started emptying all of our lunch bags in the middle of the table, and everyone shares from each other’s lunches. It was Kayla’s idea, saying she and Anne have been doing it since middle school. I dump mine as well, and Kayla grabs the turkey sandwich. She takes a bite and then hands it over to me, knowing it’s my favorite sandwich out of the two PB&J’s and the ham and Swiss. “Anne and Tyler want to go swimming in Lake Michigan,” Mikey says, his gaze intense as if he’s shooting daggers at Kayla. She doesn’t seem bothered by it, but I was about to say something until Anne interrupts. “That is not what we said. We said we want to go swimming, and that’s what you assumed. Have you never heard of indoor swimming pools?” Anne

rolls her eyes playfully. She’s so outspoken and confident, not caring how her attitude comes off. It’s a perfect balance, considering Tyler has always been more on the quiet side. Mikey grimaces at Anne but then offers her a small smile. “Fine. Where do you think we should go swimming then?” Anne meets Kayla’s eyes. “We have a membership at Lifetime Fitness. We can get you guys in.” I’m surprised by Anne’s words. Kayla has a membership? Lifetime Fitness is not cheap, and I don’t exactly peg Kayla as the working-out type. Kayla looks over at me and smiles. “We play basketball there once a week,” she answers for me. Hmm, makes sense. But that’s still not worth all the money she has to pay. “And my mom pays for mine. She has one of her own and bought me one as well.” Kayla shrugs. “All right, well, when were you guys planning on doing this?” I ask, looking back at Anne and Tyler. Tyler rolls his eyes as Anne clasps her hands together. Apparently, I just sealed our fate. “Right after school. We’ll run home, grab our swim suits, and then meet at the gym.” I look over at Kayla to see her smiling and shaking her head at Anne. If she wanted to go swimming, we could go swimming. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when Kayla and I planned to spend today together. But I could see

she was excited, and who was I to deny her a good time with her friends? I drape an arm around Kayla’s shoulders and place a kiss to the side of her head. Kayla may not know it, but I have already dedicated my life to making sure that beautiful smile graces her face every single day.

“Come on!” Kayla drops my hand as she runs full speed to the edge of the pool and cannonballs in. I smile, shaking my head as I drop her bag of our clothes by a lounge chair, along with our towels. I then grab the back of my shirt and pull it over my head, tossing it on the chair to claim it. I watch Kayla for a moment as she swims with Anne and Tyler, having casual conversation with them. Tyler has his arms wrapped tight around Anne, who clings to him. Mikey decided not to come, not feeling in the mood to swim when it’s thirty degrees outside. I don’t know how I got so lucky, I think when I see Kayla throw her head back, her laugh resonating through the pool area. She doesn’t seem to mind as people look over at her with wide eyes. I smile at how adorable she is. I have been blessed with amazing friends and an equally amazing girlfriend. I will not take them for granted.

“Why are you not swimming with her?” The smile on my face stretches as I turn to see Kyle sitting on the lounge chair next to me. I quickly sit down on my own so we’re eye level. “Hey, Ky,” I say. His presence is most welcome. Kyle smiles and nods in greeting before he turns to watch the three swimming. “I miss Tyler,” he whispers, and I feel my smile fall. It must be hard to see Tyler and our mom and for them to not see him back. I’m sure there are things Kyle wishes he could say to them. “He misses you too,” I say. Kyle grins and then reaches over to slap me on the arm. “You finally got the girl, man. Took you long enough.” I chuckle, shaking my head. Kyle seems to find pleasure in boasting about how he was right all along, that Kayla and I would make a great couple. Modesty definitely suits him… “About that. I can’t come up with what to get her for Christmas,” I say, reaching up to scratch the back of my neck. I’m glad Kyle is here so I can get his opinion on the matter. Kyle chuckles, his blues eyes swimming with happiness. “Nothing expensive. Kayla isn’t into that crap. What’s her favorite author?” Kyle asks. I pride myself with actually knowing the answer to that one. Kayla told me a few months ago, on the day that I broke things off with her.

Man, was I stupid. “Francine Rivers,” I say. Kyle nods his head, looking proud that I know the answer. “Next time you’re at her house, look around to see what Francine Rivers books she has and then make a list. Go to the store and whatever book she doesn’t own, buy it for her. If she owns all of them, get something similar. That’s the best gift you could give her. ’Cause then she’ll know that you remembered her favorite author,” Kyle says. I feel my jaw go slack. My brother is a romantic. I am about to tease him but am cut off when I hear an obnoxious amount of splashing. I look over to see Kayla jumping out of the water and running over to slide into the lounge chair beside Kyle. “Kyle.” She sighs, a happy smile on her face. Kayla looks at me as she speaks, that way if anyone was to look over, it’ll seem as if we are having a conversation. “Hey, Kayla! We were just talking about you!” Kyle says, his face bright as he gives me a sinister smile before changing it to a sweet one when he looks at Kayla. My eyes widen with horror as I stare at my brother earnestly, hoping he doesn’t tell her our previous conversation. He couldn’t. Why would Kyle ruin her Christmas present by telling her? He’s just doing this to tease me…

“Oh yeah?” Kayla quirks an eyebrow at me, her lips pressed together in a thin line to keep from smiling. “Hmm. He had a dream about you last night,” Kyle says, not even sparing me a glance as I shoot daggers at him. Why is he doing this? How does he know I dreamed about us playing basketball… which then somehow transitioned into a scene that should only be in one’s house, not the courts? Kayla blushes a bright red as she notices that Kyle isn’t lying by the look on my face. I’m not ashamed. I have the best girlfriend I could have hoped for…of course I will be dreaming about her. She’s constantly on my mind. “Oh,” Kayla whispers, bowing her head slightly to avoid my eye contact. I don’t want her to be shy around me. I will never judge her, but I understand that this new information, one that shouldn’t have been given, is embarrassing her. “Do you want to know what happened in the dream?” Kyle asks. “No!” I snap, talking between my teeth so I don’t attract any unwanted attention. Kayla lifts her head to look at me with shock while Kyle just grins. That little weasel. I shake my head at him. “Fine. I won’t tell.” Kyle shrugs and looks over Kayla’s shoulders. His smile falls slightly, and I

quickly turn my head to see Anne and Tyler walking over, water dripping from their swim suits and hair. “Hey, guys. What’s going on?” Anne asks, sitting on the vacant side of Kayla. I glance swiftly at Kyle to see him only looking at Tyler. Tyler sits next to me as well, and I scoot so I am now directly in front of Kyle. “Are you not going to go swimming, Dallas?” “No, I will. Just talking to Kayla for a bit,” I say. Kayla looks at me with slightly wide eyes before she spares Kyle a glance. Kyle sighs and leans forward, reaching out a hand as if to grab Tyler’s arm and shake him out of a dream. I watch as his hand goes right through Tyler’s bicep, frowning. “Tyler,” Kyle says. “Tyler!” Kayla dips her eyebrows and shakes her head slightly, silently telling Kyle that it is no use. I want so badly to tell Tyler that Kyle is trying to talk to him. That he has something to say. But what would our friends think? Would they send us to a therapist, thinking we’re delusional? Kyle lifts his eyes to meet mine. “I have to go. I love you guys.” “I love you,” I say as Kyle slowly fades away before us, leaving an empty spot beside Kayla. When I look at her, her eyes are wide, and I feel my spine naturally stiffen in alarm. I look around at

Anne and Tyler to see them staring at me as well. “What?” I ask, reaching up to touch my head to check if there was some giant bug on me. Anne opens and closes her mouth a few times before she looks over at Kayla. “Did you…did you just tell Kayla you loved her?” My mouth falls agape as my eyes flick to Kayla, who is looking at me. She knows I didn’t, but she has to pretend that I did so I wasn’t talking to thin air. “Yeah, huh,” I mumble, nodding my head slowly as my eyes stay connected on Kayla. This is definitely not how I wanted the confession of my love for her to go. I wanted it to be the two of us, alone. I wanted it to be directed to her so she knew for certain that it was the truth. But now she’s convincing herself that it was directed to my brother. But the question still remains…am I in love with Kayla Williams?

Chapter Nineteen Grave *Kayla* December 18, 2015 The past five days have been beyond stressful. Anne has been over at my house every day after school, and we study until we fall asleep. Finals began Tuesday, and our futures are weighing heavily on our shoulders. Even though I’m already accepted into the college I want to attend, it is still possible that they can withdraw my acceptance. I have to maintain

my 3.8 grade average. It has been slipping the last few months, considering everything that’s going on. Finals are always hit or miss. They can either save your grade or destroy it. I will do everything to ensure it is not the latter. Ever since the “I love you” incident at the swimming pool, Anne hasn’t let up with questions. She was concerned as to why I didn’t say it back to him. Why didn’t I? Because it wasn’t directed to me, no matter what Tyler or Anne saw. Dallas and I both know it was meant for Kyle, that Dallas doesn’t, in fact, love me. That is all right, though. We have only been officially dating three weeks; I don’t expect him to confess his undying love for me. I am currently sitting in my Psychology class, my foot bouncing on its ball as I anxiously await the test. I bite the eraser of my pencil, staring at the clock. Just a few minutes until my final test will begin. Since we all have 5th period lunch and the finals today are 3rd and 5th period, we get to leave school early. Only one final today. All my focus is on this one final test, and I’m completely exhausted and drained. No matter how much coffee I drink or brain-nurturing energy bars I eat, I am entirely spent.

Dallas slides into his seat beside me and places his customary kiss to the side of my head. My eyes instantly flicker around the room to make sure people aren’t staring. People are—for lack of better words—displeased with our coupling. I have been shot more death glares than one would typically get for being in a relationship. Ashley Delta is the cause of it all. All her friends side with her, angry with Dallas for “breaking her heart,” and despise me for somehow “stealing him from her.” Ashley approaches me one day, wagging a finger in my face as she rudely yells at me and accuses me of being a “boyfriend stealer.” She warns me to watch my back because she’s determined to gain Dallas back. I laugh lightly at the memory, ashamed with her poor vocabulary and feeble insults. “What’s funny?” Dallas asks, pulling out a pencil from his jacket pocket and chewing on the yellow wood, staring at me. I smile, noticing that my own pencil eraser is still firmly between my front teeth. I place it on the table and shake my head. “Just thinking about Ashley’s threat,” I say. Dallas had laughed the moment I told him a few days ago. He thought it was funny as well, not at all worried about her. Dallas smiles and twists the pencil between his teeth. He’s nervous. I have never seen him chew on

a pencil before. I never chew on pencils unless I’m stressed or anxious. It’s the stupid test that is dawning on us and our futures. “One more final and then it’s Christmas break,” Dallas says, taking the pencil from his mouth and setting it on the table out of reach so he doesn’t resume gnawing on it. “I know. I can’t wait until you see what I got you,” I say, propping my elbow on the table and resting my chin in the palm of my hand. I meet Dallas’s eyes as he quirks an eyebrow in question. He reaches over and plays with the ends of my ponytail. It reminds me of the day that he pulled my hair down and fanned it over my shoulders. He had said that he preferred it down. Is that still true? I subconsciously run my hand over my ponytail, pulling it over my shoulder. “What did you get me?” Dallas asks, his voice low and in my ear. I giggle as his breath tickles my neck. Kyle visited us a few days ago when Dallas and I were studying in my living room. Dallas was in the kitchen, grabbing us some snacks, though he was gone much longer than one would expect. Meanwhile, Kyle showed up, and I asked him what Dallas would like for Christmas. His answer was, “anything Bulls.” I got Dallas a signed picture of Derrick Rose and Jimmy Butler standing mid-game, both smiling at

whatever was said. It’s a great picture with two elegant signatures next to the players. I’m hoping he will like it, but I know I can’t go wrong with basketball or Chicago Bulls. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. And then the amazing gift would go to waste, and that doesn’t play out in anyone’s favor.” I shrug, casting Dallas a smile. He tuts, rolling his eyes. “You she-devil.”

I managed to get all B’s on my finals except Psychology, where I got an A. My grade point average is safe, and I’m proud to say that Dallas did exceptionally well. His GPA even rose two decimal points. He’s clearly surprised; I can tell by the look on his face when we look at our grades online together. It is Wednesday the 23rd. Dallas and I planned to celebrate our Christmas today since he works every other day of the week, aside from Christmas. We both agreed to spend Christmas with our families. Dallas got a second job, working at XSport, where he occasionally plays basketball with his friends. Little League basketball is over, so to keep making money he had to get another job. He feels it’s his responsibility to help his mother with bills

and groceries. I always wanted to ask if his father helped with the house and the expenses, but it’s not my business. Dallas and I are currently sitting on his living room couch, curled up against each other as we stare at the Christmas tree. It’s only 2:00, and apparently Dallas has the whole evening planned for us. I had asked him what he planned, to know how to dress. I inwardly cringed when he said to dress fancy. I thought dressing up twice in a year would be enough, but I was secretly thrilled to wander into my closet in search of another dress. I decided on another sweater dress, this one a dark red with no shape. It doesn’t hug anywhere, except perhaps my chest. It’s long sleeved and stops mid-thigh. So to complete it, I am wearing brown leggings with brown thigh-high boots. It’s a comfortable outfit, yet I am still dressed up for a Christmas dinner. “I am so lucky,” Dallas whispers, his chin resting on the top of my head. I smile, my eyes zeroing on the presents under the tree. I can see my gift for Dallas, the white bag with a reindeer standing in the center. From across the room, I can see the glittery swirls on the bag that indicate snow. The reindeer’s antlers have snow sitting on the tips. It’s a beautiful bag, and I am secretly sad to be parted with it.

“No, I’m lucky.” Who would have ever thought that the star basketball player and womanizer of Waubonsie Valley High School would end up dating me? I still have to pinch myself to realize this isn’t a dream. “Do you want to open your gift?” I ask. I don’t wait for Dallas to respond. I unwrap my arms from his waist and stand from the couch. I grab his present and the one he got for me and bring them over to our spot. I sit cross-legged on the couch, facing Dallas as I hand him his bag. He smiles as he sets it on his lap, looking like a little kid again as he pulls out the tissue paper to reveal the picture frame inside. Pulling it out, his mouth drops open. “Holy—” He cuts short, looking over at me with wide eyes. “Kayla…” I bite my bottom lip and smile sweetly. Dallas leans over and places a heavy kiss to my lips, and I greedily return it. “This is amazing. Thank you.” Dallas sets the frame down and hands me my present. It’s rectangular and light. It’s wrapped in red and white Christmas paper. I read the tag on the present. To: Kay ❤ From: Dallas. I smile at the heart by my name before I tear off the wrapping paper. I quickly notice it’s a book, and my excitement grows as I hastily flip it over. My heart nearly stops

as I read the bold font of “Francine Rivers” at the bottom of the book. Lifting my eyes to the title, I feel tears start to gather. I look over at Dallas, and his eyebrows dip with concern. “No, don’t cry,” he whispers, moving close to reach up and wipe a tear from under my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. Do you not like it? You’ve always talked about Francine Rivers and—” Oh, this stupid, silly boy. How does he not see that he has just given me the best gift? I cut Dallas off by giving him a quick kiss. “No, you idiot. I love it.” Not only do I love the fact that he bought me a book by my favorite author, but because he remembered from months ago that she is my favorite author. “How did you know this is the only one I need?” A Daughter’s Dream is the second book in a series, and even though I finished the first book years ago, I never bought the second. My father always gifted me with Francine Rivers books, and when he passed away, it seemed wrong to get them without him. My father never read them, but he always listened when I would babble on about the characters or cry shamelessly when the book was over and the characters were no longer a part of my life. It was our secret, special bonding moment. And now, with Dallas giving me this book, it’s as if I can feel my dad’s presence with us. Dallas smiles sheepishly at me, and I can’t help

but smile at his guilty expression. “Remember when I was over studying? When I was getting snacks, I secretly went about the house to find all your books.” Dallas went through all that trouble? Surely, he could have just asked my mother or Katie. They would have told him which one I needed. The fact that he went through such lengths is touching. “Thank you so much, Dallas. It means the world to me.” I open the cover, and my eyes softly widen before another grin breaks across my face. Merry Christmas. 2015. Kayla, I am so grateful to have you in my life. It has been a bumpy couple of months, but I look forward to seeing our relationship grow with time. You have truly made me a better person, and for that, I am eternally indebted to you. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your friends and family. Yours, Dallas. Closing the book, I look up at him. He’s scratching the back of his neck, and I can tell he’s slightly embarrassed. “I just want you to be able to remember this moment. When you open that book years from now and open the cover, you will remember today.” I can’t contain it anymore. I shift

forward so I’m kneeling on the couch and wrap my arms around his neck. My lips connect with his in a frenzy as I pour all my emotions and gratitude into this single kiss. Dallas grabs my waist and pulls me close so I’m practically sitting on his lap. My fingers tangle in his hair. He cut it again for Christmas, but it’s still long enough to be able to slide my fingers through the strands. Dallas’s tongue skims my bottom lip, almost as an invitation. I accept, parting my lips to allow his tongue to press forward and touch my own. My stomach flutters with a thousand butterflies at this new and odd sensation. It leaves me breathless, causing me to pull back and look down at Dallas. His blue eyes are bright and shimmering with desire. “We have to go,” he whispers, reaching up and pecking my nose. “We have reservations at three o’clock.” It’s an early dinner, but Dallas says it’s because he still wants sunlight for the last part of my present. He really doesn’t need to get me anything else. The book was most definitely enough. It was perfect.

Dallas treated me to Houlihans. I found it clever

and generous. It made me chuckle when he parked the car in the lot. It was the restaurant he told Ashley he was taking me to on our first date. The food was amazing, and Dallas and I were able to talk endlessly. Millions of topics came up, such as our futures, our five-year goals, our favorite movies, and even our most embarrassing moments. I didn’t really have an embarrassing moment, aside from when I was doing a Slip N’ Slide with Anne. I was running and decided to slide too early, ending up in the grass and getting a grass-burn on my stomach. Dallas’s was hilarious. Apparently when he was playing basketball in middle school, he went for a lay-up, and in the jumble of bodies, his shorts were somehow pulled down to reveal a pair of Star Wars underwear. It was hard to contain my laughter as I rocked back and forth. I smile at the memory, looking over at Dallas as he drives. He’s so handsome. His hair is perfectly combed and styled, short at the sides and long at the top with a wave. He’s wearing a gray buttondown shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The shirt is tucked into black dress pants. He’s not wearing a tie this time, unlike Thanksgiving. Black Aviator sunglasses sit on his face, making him look even older than he already does. Dallas has his left hand mounted at the top of the steering wheel while his right hand is warmly

interlocked with my own. Dallas subconsciously rubs his thumb over my knuckles as he focuses on the road. It’s a small, calming gesture that brings a blush to my cheeks. I’m always blushing with him. When Dallas slows the car to a stop and shifts it to park, I take it upon myself to see where we are. A cemetery. I whip my head back around to Dallas to see him give me one look before he slides out of the Jeep. He walks around and opens my door, offering me a hand. I cautiously take it, letting him help me down. Dallas pulls me close and wraps an arm around my shoulders to keep me warm in the cool December breeze. Is he wanting to see Kyle’s grave? Dallas leads me, keeping me close. He doesn’t speak, and neither do I. It feels right to be in silence, in honor of the dead. We walk for a few minutes until he stops us in front of a familiar headstone. Chills run down my spine as the hairs at the back of my neck stand. Tears shamelessly roll down my cheeks as I pull away from Dallas and step forward so I am directly in front of my father’s grave. Jason Williams Beloved husband and father B. 4.11.1967 D. 9.9.2013

I fall to my knees, not caring that its uncomfortable because of my boots or that the ground is cold. I sit there, staring at the headstone, wishing that my father could be here to meet Dallas. I haven’t been here in nearly a year, and I’m now realizing how much I have needed him. Dallas stays back, doesn’t make a move to comfort me. He allows me time to grieve and reconnect with my father. It’s exactly what I need, and I’m grateful that he’s giving it to me. “Hi, Daddy. I have someone here with me. Someone I want you to meet. His name is Dallas. Kyle’s older brother. I’m sure you know who he is; you were always current on Waubonsie’s basketball season. He’s my boyfriend, and I want you to meet him.” I brush the back of my hand across my cheek, a feeble attempt to stop the tears. “I love him, Dad. And I wish you had the chance to know him.” I get to my feet and look over at Dallas. His own eyes are watery as he looks at me, his lips parted at my confession. He tilts his head, and with a simple blink, I see a tear roll down his cheek. He doesn’t say anything. I turn back to the grave and lean down to place my hand on the tombstone. “I miss you, Daddy. And I love you so much.” After a long moment of silence and stillness, I step back and walk over to wrap my arms around Dallas’s waist. He holds me

tightly, pressing his cheek onto the top my head. I am so blessed to have such a generous, selfless boyfriend. Dallas planned this whole day for me, buying me a book that means the world to me, taking me to a restaurant that connects to our first date, and now bringing me to my father. He had asked me what I wanted for Christmas. “I just want to be with my friends and family.” Dallas gave me something I didn’t even know I wanted. I was honest when I told him I only wanted to be with the people I love. But I never knew just how much I wanted and needed to talk to my dad. “Merry Christmas, Dallas,” I whisper into his chest. Dallas places a kiss to the top of my head. “Merry Christmas, Kayla.”

Chapter Twenty Trigger *Dallas* December 23, 2015 I hold Kayla tightly in my arms as she cries softly into my chest. I was expecting this kind of reaction; it is only normal considering how close she was with her father. But that didn’t make it hurt any less to see her crying in front of me. It twisted my heart strings when I saw her fall to her knees, sobs running through her body. When she started speaking to her father, it was beautiful;

she even brought me up. I was surprised when she claimed that Mr. Williams came to our games. How odd, considering Kayla didn’t. It was only when Kayla said those four words that something within me broke. “I love him, Dad.” The fact that she was confessing her feelings to her father made them so much more real. She meant it. Kayla Williams is in love with me. After feeling all the sympathy I had when she cried in front of me and spoke to her father, her small confession pushed me over the edge, and a stray tear rolled down my cheek. I am not embarrassed that I cried for her. I will never be embarrassed for feeling the emotions that I do when I’m with Kayla. She has shed a new light on me, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that light is not snuffed out. Kayla gathers my shirt into her hands, clinging tightly to me as if I am her only chance of living. It hurts me to see her like this, my brave, sweet, strong Kayla. I place a kiss to the top of her head, lifting my eyes for the first time to take in our surroundings. The cemetery is empty, apart from us. There are hundreds upon hundreds of tombstones lined across the field, all different shapes and sizes. Lincoln Memorial Park, the same cemetery where my brother is buried. I look to my right, my eyes

following the path that leads to his grave. But today, we’re here for Kayla, I remind myself. Snow falls lightly around us and sticks softly to blanket the ground. It’s a beautiful scene that could have been picked out of a movie. If only that were the case, for then Kayla’s father would only be an actor and would still be alive and well after the scene is filmed. Turning my eyes to the left, back the way we came, I notice something familiar and out of the ordinary. I instantly tense, my fingers digging tightly into Kayla’s waist. She lets out a gasp of pain before she pulls away from me and looks at me with her questioning gaze. “Dallas? What’s wrong?” she asks, quickly wiping away her tears. Oh, Kayla…why can’t you just be given one day? One day to mourn, one day to forget. “It’s him. It’s the car,” I whisper, my eyes moving back to the large black Ford Expedition. The windows are tinted, just as before. It is parked, sitting idle but still running as large puffs of exhaust escape the pipe under the car. “What?” Her voice quivers as she moves closer to me, looking across the cemetery to see the SUV parked beside my Jeep Wrangler. I instinctively wrap my arm around Kayla’s shoulders and pull her close to me. Who is he? Who is behind the wheel? Kyle said

we know him…but he also said we didn’t. Who is he? “Stay here.” I quickly detach from Kayla and jog between the graves, ignoring as she calls for me to stop. I quicken my pace as I get closer to the SUV, and for a quick moment, a rational thought crosses my mind. He most likely has a gun. The same gun that killed my brother. A blind rage that I’ve never felt before takes over, and I am sprinting toward the car now. As I exit the cemetery and enter the parking lot, I am a few feet away from the car. I can scarcely see through the windshield, my eyes squinting to get a better look. All I see are two males sitting side by side, one with dark hair and one with lighter hair. They’re both wearing sunglasses. Before I can see anything else, the SUV screeches away, blowing up smoke and the smell of burnt rubber. They drive past me, and I skid to a stop, worried for a split second that they will shoot me. But they don’t; they just drive away as if their tail is on fire. Letting out a growl of frustration, I turn to see Kayla slowly jogging toward me, her arms wrapped around her small body. “What are you doing?” I holler, running over to meet her. Kayla’s eyes are wide with fear as she looks up at me, absentmindedly rubbing her cold arms. “What were you doing? You could have—”

“I told you to stay! Do you know what could have happened—?” “You could have gotten shot! Dallas, what we’re you thinking?” Her voice rises as I see anger burn behind her eyes. Well, that makes two of us. I told her to stay put. How could I live with myself if something had happened to her? “I was thinking that those were the pricks that shot Kyle! I was trying to see who they were! I told you to stay put, Kayla…” “Dallas…” she whispers, bringing a hand to her mouth as I see tears gather in her eyes. She shakes her head and turns away from me for a moment. “I died a thousand deaths just now, Dallas.” Kayla’s voice is so small as she twists to look up at me again. Just like that, all my anger dissipates as I see her fight tears again. “Did you even think what would have happened to me if you were shot? Do you think I can live through that a third time? Someone dying on me?” My throat closes up as I feel the sudden urge to cry with her. Her pain is so strong, so pure, it almost feels as if it is my own. “Kayla, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just reacted.” I don’t know what to say, how to make it up to her. While I was too busy worried about who was behind the wheel of that car, Kayla was staring wide eyed at a scene that could have ended very badly. She could have seen what I saw three months ago.

“I want to find them too, Dallas. I want to find justice too. But not at the expense of your own life. Don’t act so irrationally again. Promise me.” Kayla steps forward so she’s nearly a foot away from me now. She keeps her arms wrapped around herself. Her lips are turning blue, and I can hear the clatter of her teeth as they rattle. “You have my word.” And she does. I wasn’t thinking about her. I was being selfish, and I thought about my own wants and my own needs. What Kayla was feeling and experiencing didn’t cross my mind, and I’m ashamed to admit that. “And I am sorry for yelling at you. I have no right telling you what to do.” I reach forward to grab one of her cold hands and bring her even closer. I gather her second hand and cup them between my own. I lift our joint hands and blow hot air onto her chilled fingers. Kayla lets out a sigh of relief. From my promise or my attempt to warm her up, I do not know. I lead Kayla to the Jeep, my eyes instinctively darting around our surroundings, in search for any form of danger. Kayla climbs into the passenger seat, and I take my spot in the driver’s. I turn on the car and blast the heat before I turn and gather her in my arms. I rub my hands up and down her back, trying to cause friction to warm her. “It was silly of me not to bring a coat,” she whispers, her words shaky as she shivers.

“I should have warned you. It’s on me as well.” Even though I am only wearing a button-down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, I am not cold. The adrenaline rush ensured that I was well heated. When Kayla’s shivering subsides, I decide to drive her home. She stays seated in the car once I shift into park. Kayla looks over at me. “This was by far the best date ever, aside from the little mishap. Thank you so much, Dallas.” She leans over the console to place a brief kiss to my lips. I close my eyes and savor the feel of her kiss. I could live off that one kiss. “Anything for you, Kay.” I lift a hand and touch her cool cheek. It’s still not warm, even though the heat is on full blast. I silently pray she doesn’t get sick. I rub my thumb over her cheekbone as I stare into her beautiful hazel eyes. “I love you, Kayla.” The words are a soft whisper, yet they are the truth. After everything that has happened today, I know that they are. “I love you, Dallas Perkins. Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas.” With a final kiss, Kayla slides out of the Jeep and runs inside. I see puffs of air surround her as she breathes through the cold air. I’ve always hated winter.

“How was it?” my mother asks as I drop my keys in the dish that we use to keep our car keys on the kitchen counter. I give my mom a hug, and she gives me a tight squeeze. “It was great. Perfect, actually.” I decide not to tell my mom about the black SUV. I don’t want to trouble her during the holidays. “I told Kayla I love her.” My mom gasps, her eyes wide as she clasps her hands together. “Oh, Dallas! That’s great! Did she say it back?” “Yes. She loves me too, Ma,” I say, rolling my eyes. My mom lets out a squeal of joy, and I’m astonished to see her so happy. I haven’t seen her smile this widely since before Kyle’s death. It’s refreshing and well needed. “Oh, bless that girl. How she puts up with you, I will never know.” Her joke is nothing short of the truth. I’m still shocked that Kayla puts up with me as well. I don’t deserve her. “Well, I’m going to bed. Thanks for waiting up.” I had told her not to wait for me when I was on my way out, knowing that she goes to bed around 8:00. But I am surprisingly happy that she’s here and I was able to tell her about my evening. I place a kiss on my mother’s cheek and run up the stairs until I enter my room. I very quickly unbutton my shirt and pants, pulling off my clothes.

I neatly fold them and set them on my dresser to deal with tomorrow. Dressed only in my boxer briefs, I peel back my covers and slide into bed. It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted. Once my head hits the pillow, I drift into a tossing dream. “Dallas, no!” Kayla yells behind me, but I don’t listen. I completely ignore her pleas, even though a voice in my head tells me to do as she says. Stay with her. But I keep running, weaving through the tombstones, even leaping over some of them as I charge to the gate of the cemetery. I shove it open and sprint to the parking lot, where the large SUV sits, waiting for me. I look into the windshield and see two males sitting in there. One completely unrecognizable and one familiar. But I tell myself that it’s not possible. There’s no way it could be him. As I sidle up next to the SUV, I open the driver’s door and grab the faceless man. I throw him to the ground and then fall to my knees to punch him. The punches are fast and ruthless. I can hear the thumping echoing through the cold December air. I can hear the cries of Kayla, begging me to stop and come back. But again, I ignore them. I continue to punch the man until my hands are bloodied, and I’m not sure if it’s mine or his. Remembering the second guy, I spin up to my feet

and make a step to the car only to stop as the barrel of a 9mm is aimed right between my eyes. My body freezes. My blood runs cold, and I am faced with the frightening reality that I am going to die. My eyes flicker over to who is holding the gun, and right when I take in his face, the trigger is pulled, and a loud, resonating boom sounds. I gasp, throwing my twisted comforter off my bed, panting as sweat drips down my forehead. I’m overheated; however, goosebumps rise on my skin as chills run down my spine. Eyes wide, I look at the foot of my bed to see Kyle standing there, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Oh my God,” I whisper. Kyle nods his head. In confirmation? In understanding? “Kyle…” I go to ask if who I saw in my dream was correct, but I don’t get a chance. With one final tear shed, Kyle disappears in front of me. I feel my breathing become short as I begin to hyperventilate. I look around my room, trying to figure out what to do. I’m having a panic attack. Of course I’m having a panic attack. Anyone who just dreamed about their best friend killing their brother —killing me, actually—would be having one.

Chapter Twenty-One 3:17 *Kayla* December 24, 2015 My phone alarm goes off, pumping out the lyrics of “Radioactive,” by Imagine Dragons. I groan, rolling over to throw my hand onto my dresser, searching for my phone to answer whoever is calling. There’s only one person who would be calling me so late at night.

“What’s up, Anne?” I mumble into the phone, not caring that I most likely sound as if I am dying. There is silence at the other end of the phone, apart from ragged breathing. I feel my brows dip as I begin to assume the worst. Is her mom in the hospital? Did Tyler break up with her? Is she dying? “…Kayla…” I quickly sit up as my heart begins to pound at the shaky voice on the other side of the line. “Dallas?” I whisper, looking over at my night stand to read my clock. 3:17 AM. “Are you all right?” I ask, already knowing that he isn’t. Why else would he be calling me at this hour? It surely isn’t to talk about this awful weather. “No. I-I…I had this dream…c-can you—” I am already throwing the covers off of me and swinging my legs off the bed. I bolt toward my closet to grab a sweatshirt and sweatpants. I slip on a pair of Bearpaw boots, pressing the phone between my shoulder and ear as I do so. “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in five minutes.” I hang up and shove my phone into my sweatpants’ pocket. Without hesitation, I run out of my room and try to be as quiet as possible as I hurry down the stairs. Grabbing my coat, keys, and purse on my way out, I exit the house, shivering at the cold air. Once I get into my car, I jam the key into the ignition and start the car. I don’t even bother to buckle in as I back out at an unsafe speed and

throw my car into drive. I race to Dallas’s home as if I have a time limit. And if I don’t make it, I’ll never see him again. What happened? What made Dallas so shaky? Why is he crying? My heart tightens. I don’t like it when he cries, because Dallas isn’t the crying type. So when he does, he becomes so vulnerable and insecure. I pull into his driveway the same moment he runs out of the house. His head is bowed, jogging to the passenger side of the car. He slides in. “Drive,” he whispers. I quickly oblige, backing out and driving us somewhere private. The park. Once I park the car, I turn to Dallas to see him staring down at his clasped hands in his lap. I open my mouth to ask what is wrong but then snap it shut. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Instead I reach over and gently grab one of his hands. I rub my fingers over his knuckles, just like he’s done to me so many times. I hope I am bringing him comfort through this small action, the same comfort that he always brings me. After a few minutes, Dallas lifts his head and looks over at me, his eyes watery. “I think Mikey killed Kyle.” My thumb ceases movement as I become stock still. My eyes widen as I suck in a breath, staring at Dallas with complete and utter

confusion. “W-what?” I stutter, my own fear of his accusation taking over. He thinks Mikey killed Kyle? But how? Mikey loved Kyle. He absolutely adored that kid. Kyle would always tell me about how “awesome Dallas’s friends are” and how “Mikey is another big brother.” “I saw two people sitting in the car at the cemetery. I didn’t exactly recognize them, since I was so blinded by rage and adrenaline. However, when I was dreaming, my subconscious recognized the person sitting in the passenger seat. The driver was completely blurred out. Kayla…Mikey shot me in the head…” Dallas’s voice catches at the end as a sob wracks through him. I reach over and sink my fingers into his short hair, bringing him close to hug him. Dallas wraps his arms around me, crying into my shoulder. It is common that dreams shine a light on what we personally can’t perceive. It’s our brain remembering what was right in front of us, something we were just too naïve to register. “But Dallas…” I cup his face between my hands and lift his head, looking into his beautiful, shimmery blue eyes. “Mikey doesn’t have a tattoo…” I whisper, trying to find a way to clear Mikey’s name. I don’t want Dallas to have to think that his best friend killed his brother. I don’t want

that kind of pain for him. There has to be some other reason that Dallas dreamed Mikey was the murderer. “I thought about that too…” Dallas wipes his tears away. “But remember what Kyle said. We do and we don’t know who the killer is. There were two people in that SUV, Kayla. We know Mikey. Perhaps we don’t know the other man.” Dallas’s logic leaves me silent. I have nothing to say to deny him. His reasoning makes perfect sense. Everything that Kyle had told us makes absolute sense. He’s here. Mikey was at Lake Michigan with us. Yes and no. We know Mikey. We don’t know the second guy. He’s dark skinned. Perhaps from being in the sun too much. From what I can tell, he’s stocky. “What did the second male look like? What was his build?” I ask Dallas. He frowns, looking out the windshield as he tries to recollect the memory. “Broad shouldered. Looked as if he was security for the President of the United States.” Well, that’s a good way of saying he’s stocky… because Mikey definitely is not stocky. So Kyle has been telling us about Mikey and this unknown killer the whole time. Does Kyle know who the second man is? Is there a reason why he would want Kyle dead? Is there a reason Mikey would want Kyle dead?

I just don’t get it…It doesn’t make any sense… “What are you going to do?” I ask Dallas. He just shakes his head and leans it back against the headrest. His eyes droop closed, and I know he’s tired. Crying usually leaves one exhausted. “He’s been my best friend since elementary school, Kayla. He practically watched Kyle grow up. Why would he kill him?” Dallas turns his head to meet my eyes. I sigh and shake my head. I honestly don’t have an answer for him. I desperately wish I did, though. There is only one way to find out if Mikey really did kill Kyle. And that is to ask Kyle himself. However, we cannot summon Kyle whenever we want to speak to him. We must wait until he shows up. Who knows how long it will be until his next visit? I reach over and grab Dallas’s hand again, bringing it up to kiss the inside of his palm. “We’ll figure this out. But we have to be certain before we accuse him. We have no evidence,” I say. No matter how much I want justice for what had happened to Kyle, we have to be able to prove it was Mikey. We can’t very well say that the ghost of Kyle Perkins told us. “I know. But I will find the evidence needed. I will make sure he rots in prison for the rest of his life.” My throat closes at Dallas’s words as tears well in my eyes. I can’t imagine the pain he must be

feeling. Mikey was his friend. His brother. And now he’s nothing to him. Nothing but his brother’s murderer.

I dropped Dallas off at his house around five in the morning. We spoke for nearly two hours, trying to find solace in the new information. How am I going to enjoy the holidays with this new revelation? All I can think about is Mikey and the gun he aimed at Kyle’s chest. How could he pull the trigger? Does he feel any remorse? How could he have continued to act like Dallas’s best friend, knowing he’s the one who brought on his grief? I growl, gripping my fork tightly in my hand until I feel the metal slightly bend at my force. I am seething. “Kayla!” I drop the fork and look up to see my mom standing in front of me, her eyebrows arched in concern. “What are you doing?” she asks. I return my attention to my half-eaten pancakes and bent fork. “Sorry,” I mutter, flicking my eyes to the left to see Katie staring at me with a horrified expression. I bet I’m just a sight right now. I probably have bags under my eyes from the five hours of sleep I got. I haven’t even showered yet. I woke up to the

smell of pancakes, and for a moment, everything else was forgotten. “I was asking if you would mind taking Katie to see the Naper Lights next Thursday. I have to work, and it’s the last day they have them,” my mom says, sitting down at Kyle’s usual spot. My eyes instantly zero in on the infinity sign carved into the table, and I feel a new set of tears rising. I nod my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, sure.” My voice is hoarse with emotion, and I quickly take a bite of my pancakes, desperately trying to get in check. “Great. Well, it’s Christmas Eve. I invited the Perkins over for dinner again,” my mom says, and I jerk my head in her direction. Why am I just now being told about this? “You did?” I mumble the same instant my phone buzzes. I look down to see a message from Dallas. Seems like we’re having Christmas Eve dinner together. I’ll be by early to help set up. Thank you for last night. Love you. XX A small smile tugs on my lips, and I let out a sigh, telling myself that it will be okay. We can forget about Mikey for the next two days. Christmas is about family, and Mrs. Perkins definitely needs us to be there for her. “Well, we might as well start getting ready.” I

rise to my feet and dump my food in the trash before I set the plate in the sink. I exit the kitchen and head upstairs to get ready for Christmas Eve dinner.

I have exhausted all my choices of clothing. Apparently, I only have three fancy outfits. The rest are casual or down right bum-worthy. I need to go shopping and restock my closet, especially if my mother is going to insist on having more “PerkinsWilliams dinners.” Running a hand through my damp hair, I sigh and exit my closet. I’ll have to raid Katie’s wardrobe. We’re practically the same size… I find a black and white dress that is two sizes too big for Katie—the perfect size for me. That being my only option, I rip it off the hanger and sulk into my bedroom. This dress is just too fancy for me. I prefer the sweater dresses, not the silk strapless Homecoming-styled dress. The dress is beautiful, I have to admit. Katie has marvelous taste. The top is two layered and black, the front layer forming a “V” while the back is risen so no cleavage is shown. The waist is narrowed with a sewn-in belt. The skirt is white with black crisscrosses, looking similar to a tic-tactoe board.

Okay, I’m not doing the dress any justice by describing it. I’m not good with this sort of thing. Dresses typically all look the same to me. I curl my hair, just as I had for Thanksgiving, and apply light makeup. I put on black flats before I head downstairs, seeing Dallas sitting on the bottom step. His head is placed in his hands, and I feel my heart drop to my stomach. My sweet, troubled Dallas… From behind, I can see his hair is perfectly gelled into his usual style, off to the side with a subtle wave. He’s wearing a maroon dress shirt that is tucked into black slacks, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He certainly prefers that style. I sit next to Dallas on the step and wrap an arm around his waist. He leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. He silently cries, for I feel him shake against me. My broken Dallas…I place a kiss on the top of his head and then press my cheek into his slightly stiff hair. Dallas loops an arm around my waist and holds onto me. This is not how Christmas Eve is supposed to go. “It’s going to be all right,” I whisper softly into his ear. I try to comfort him. I don’t want my mom or Katie to see him like this. They’ll ask questions, and Dallas isn’t ready for that. How could he be? What would he even say? The truth would lay heavy on his tongue. He’ll want desperately to tell

the truth, to throw Mikey into prison. “I’m sorry that I’m such a mess. I’m ruining the holidays.” Dallas sits up straight and brushes his tears away, looking across the hallway into the living room. “It’s all right, Dallas. Never apologize for crying.” I rub my hand up and down his back, trying to soothe his hiccupping sobs. No tears are being shed, but he keeps shaking and jerking as if to release another current. “My mother deserves a carefree Christmas. I just had to cry it out. I’m good now. Everything will be perfect for her. Thank you for being my safe haven, Kayla.” A sad smile forms on my lips as I lean over to kiss his cheek. “You’re welcome, Dallas.” Mrs. Perkins got her perfect, carefree Christmas. By the time dinner came along, Dallas had cheered up a bit, and some of his normal self was shining through. Mr. Perkins was silent the whole time, as usual. Katie maintained a conversation with Dallas and me while the two mothers chatted. It was just like Thanksgiving dinner. Except Kyle didn’t show up this time.

Chapter Twenty-Two Confrontation *Kayla* December 31, 2015 Christmas was monotonous. After Christmas Eve dinner with the Perkins, nothing really happened. Christmas morning, we opened presents, and even though I was thankful for everything I was given, my heart didn’t seem to be in it. Or maybe it was my head…I often drifted into

thoughts of Kyle and Mikey, trying to piece everything together. I tried to come up with so many different scenarios as to why Mikey was in the SUV at the cemetery. Why was he involved in Kyle’s death, if he was involved? Perhaps Mikey had nothing to do with it. What if he was just driving the SUV and the passenger— the blurred man—decided to shoot Kyle? Or maybe Mikey was threatened? Did he have to kill Kyle? Was something hung over his head, forcing him to do it? Even the heart-wrenching thought of “maybe he wanted to kill Dallas and shot the wrong person” crossed my mind. I quickly dismissed that thought, however. I didn’t want to think of anyone wanting Dallas dead. There has been too much death in my life, and I don’t want to think about anyone else leaving me. That is why, when Dallas ran toward the SUV, I was faced with the possibility of him getting shot just like Kyle, and it scared me. Even though Dallas told me to stay put and it was the safest option for me, I had to follow him. I had to make sure he was going to be okay. I don’t want to live in a world where Dallas doesn’t exist. After Christmas, Dallas and I have gotten together to visit some of Kyle’s favorite locations

so that he would reappear. We were surprised he never showed up for Christmas. It was always his favorite holiday, and we were all together, so why wasn’t he there? Kyle hasn’t shown his face since the night Dallas had his dream. We haven’t been able to get closure on what Dallas saw. Was it real? Or was it just a dream? Today is Thursday, and I promised my mom I’d take Katie to see the Naper Lights. It has been a tradition to go see them every year, and I wasn’t going to deprive Katie of that. I did, however, rope Anne, Tyler, and Dallas into coming with us. Dallas agreed willingly; we have spent nearly every waking hour together since that night. Anne was a little difficult. She said she would go, but we had to speak first. So I’m sitting on my bed with Anne standing in front of me, her hands on her hips. The look on her face has me worried. What does she want to talk about? I feel as if I’m about to be punished. “So…” I say, nodding my head and pressing my lips together, trying to subtly tell her to get on with this conversation. As much as I enjoy having her shoot daggers at me, I really would like to get to the Naper Lights. “Does Dallas…has Dallas…” Anne trails off, biting her bottom lip. “Has Dallas ever hit you?” My eyes grow wide at her question, and I stare at

my best friend with complete and utter shock. Why would she ever ask something like that? “What?” “Hear me out. A few times, I’ve seen bruises on your arm. It’s usually just one, but when I saw you at the Dairy Queen, you guys were arguing, and you were holding your fists so tight that you started to bleed. Dallas must have said something, done something that made you mad enough to do that. And then there’s the fact that you’re always crying. I heard about him shoving you against the car, Kayla. I know how curt and rude he was to you after Kyle’s death. It’s a safe assumption to say he has a dark side. I just need to know if he has ever hurt you.” Tears roll down my cheeks as I look at Anne. Oh, sweet Anne. She is so innocent and selfless. But she’s got it all wrong. The bruises…they must have been from the times Kyle had punched me in the arm. Apparently ghostly punches can leave bruises. And the Dairy Queen scene…did it really look like we were arguing? I was holding my fists too tightly because Kyle just told us he knew who killed him. It angered me. And jeez, the crying. I feel like an emotional pregnant lady. I am crying nearly every day and again, the main reason is Kyle. “No. No, Anne. Dallas has never raised a hand to me. He loves me, Anne, and I love him.” I shrug

my shoulders, smiling softly at her. She arches her eyebrows for a moment before she nods her head. “Okay. Here’s another one.” Anne grabs my desk chair and rolls it over so she can sit directly in front of me. Now I feel as if I am at a therapist meeting. “Why do you keep talking to thin air?” My jaw grows slack, my mouth falling open as I stare at Anne with disbelief and a little bit of fear. Fear because I don’t know how to answer her question. I wish Dallas was here. It’s his secret to tell as well…should I quickly call him and ask if it’s okay to tell Anne the truth? Because I desperately want to. I want an outsider to know what has happened to Dallas and myself. No, I don’t need to ask Dallas. He’ll be okay with it. I know he will be, because I’d be okay with him telling Tyler, if he so wished it. I bite my bottom lip. “You wouldn’t believe me,” I whisper. “Try me,” Anne defies. Sighing, I run a hand down my face and then blow a long raspberry, as if warming up for a long speech. “I’m not talking to thin air. I’m talking to Kyle. I know that doesn’t make any sense, and I’m sure you think I’m crazy. Believe me, Dallas and I both thought the same thing the first time we saw him. Kyle is dead, and yet we have been having conversations with him. He’s the one leaving me

bruises…they’re just playful punches. And he’s the one who Dallas and I were having a heated conversation with at Dairy Queen. He said something frustrating, and it caused me to squeeze my fists too tightly. Kyle is the reason I cry all the time. Dallas and I have been trying to find his murderer because Kyle can’t find peace until we do so. And you probably think I am raving mad, don’t you?” I let out a gusty sigh and feel my shoulders hunch in relief. I never knew I had such weight on them, but telling this secret to Anne definitely lifted it. I watch Anne as her features turn blank. She doesn’t say anything, only turns her head to the side, and I see her eyes flickering around my room. The cogs spinning in her head are practically visible. What is she thinking? Probably that I am a lunatic and that I need psychiatric attention. “I knew it…” Her words are a hushed whisper, and I almost miss them. I lean forward, arching a brow. “What?” Anne turns her head to look at me, as if forgetting that I was there. I did just provide a lengthy explanation; how could she forget me being here? “Kayla, this is going to sound crazy…er… perhaps not, considering your situation. But I…I

saw your dad.” For a long moment, everything goes still around us. The gentle hum of the ceiling fan provides a small noise to fill the silence as I stare wide eyed at my best friend. What did she just say? “What?” I ask again. “It was two years ago. Sophomore year… basketball season. I went to a basketball game. I was dating Travis, the small forward on the team. And God, I could have sworn I saw your father standing at the edge of the court. But there was no way…he was dead—” Anne cuts off, shaking her head. It’s as if a revelation has fallen over her, a new light shown. “What do you mean? You saw my dad at a basketball game? W-why? Why would you see him? Why at a game? Why?” My voice trembles as I look up at her, tears welling in my eyes. She saw my dad? Does that mean there was an opportunity to say goodbye to him? And I missed it? My bottom lip shakes as I try to keep tears from falling. I don’t want to cry; I have to get my answers. “Well, I wasn’t the only one to see him.” My head snaps up at her words, and I nod my head, telling her to continue. “Mikey saw him. They sort of locked eyes, and then your father left. Turned on his heels and walked out.”

Mikey. Why would Mikey see my father? I can vaguely understand why Anne would; she practically grew up at my house. She was close with my father…he had a talent of being the “fun dad.” Everyone always preferred him over their own dads. What does Mikey have to do with my dad? What sort of connection was there? I know my father enjoyed watching the basketball games…Did they perhaps speak after games? Did they have some sort of loose friendship? “I always told myself that it was impossible. That it was someone who just looked like your father. That was the only rational explanation. However, after you said you’ve been seeing Kyle, I know the truth. I believe you, Kayla.” Anne reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. I look up at her with watery eyes, nodding my head slowly. I’m thankful that she believes me. And I understand why she never told me about my father, because she had convinced herself it wasn’t him. Why does Mikey seem to keep showing up in every conversation? Now there are just more unanswered questions.

Dallas holds me close to his side, his arm

wrapped around my shoulders. I have an arm around his waist, my fingers hooked around a belt loop. We walk through Naper Lights with Katie, Anne, and Tyler. It’s truly beautiful. Every year, they seem to impress me more and more. They decorate all of Naper Settlement in Christmas lights. There are lit archways and cute snowmen, Santas, reindeers, candy canes…trees are beautifully dressed with an assortment of colorful lights. Everyone is wearing smiles as they take in the display around them. “I love you,” Dallas whispers in my ear. I tilt my head to look up at him. He’s wearing a black Under Armor hat and a thick winter coat. His hands are lacking gloves, which caused him to get a scolding from me, especially since the hand resting on my shoulder is exposed to the cold air. I reach up and engulf his hand with my mittenclad one, trying to warm it up. “Are you sure you’re okay that I told Anne?” I ask quietly. Dallas nods his head. “I’m glad you can confide in her, Kayla. It must be hard to hold this secret, and I’m happy that you can share it with someone.” I give Dallas a hug, resting my head on his chest. He’s always so selfless with me. “Merry late Christmas.” I twirl out of Dallas’s hold to see Kyle standing behind us. He wraps his arms around his body to keep warm against the

December air. I feel a smile twitch on my lips. He’s finally here. I look over my shoulder to see Anne, Katie, and Tyler have stopped walking and are looking at me. “Anne…” I whisper. Understanding quickly registers across her features. “Let’s go get hot chocolate.” Anne quickly ushers Katie and Tyler away. Katie tries to argue and demands to know what’s really going on. I swear I heard Anne say something along the lines of, “Dallas and Kayla need some alone time.” Dallas stands beside me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat as he stares at Kyle. Kyle tries to smile; however, it doesn’t meet his eyes. He looks miserable. “We have to know,” Dallas says. “I’ve always enjoyed Naper Lights. I’m glad I got a chance to see them one last time,” Kyle whispers. I hate when he speaks like that. As if he’s reminding us that he is indeed dead and that someday, this will all end. And we will never see him again… “Kyle…” “Okay,” Kyle mutters, gazing down at the snow. I prefer the chipper, happy Kyle. The one that would run through my living room with his backpack hiked up on one shoulder with a goofy smile on his face. The Kyle that was overjoyed when I admitted to enjoying the Butterfinger

Blizzard. Not the Kyle that is so pained that he can’t even look us in the eyes. Does getting closer to the truth hurt him? Because he knows that when we put the killer away, we will have to say goodbye to each other once and for all? Does he secretly wish that we will never find him? I secretly wish that. Does that make me a horrible person? Kyle’s peace would be the expense of such an outcome. “We have to know, Kyle,” Dallas whispers. Kyle lifts his eyes to look at us; they are so blue and lost, it hurts to look in them. I notice him gulp as he takes a step back. “I have to go.” No. No, he can’t do this again. He can’t just leave without us knowing! “Wait! You have to tell us! We have to know! Did he do it? Was it him?” Dallas’s voice is breaking as he bites his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “Was it Mikey?” My stomach twists at Dallas’s question. We have both been convincing ourselves of the same accusation; however, hearing him ask out loud seems to make it all the more real. We watch as Kyle slowly fades away before us, but the one single, ghostly word he leaves behind sends chills running down my spine. “Yes.” Dallas breaks into a sob, and I hurry over to

wrap my arms around him. He holds tightly to me, crying into the crook of my neck. I can’t understand his pain. How can I? Mikey has been Dallas’s best friend since elementary school. They have been playing basketball together since eighth grade. Mikey was another brother to both Dallas and Kyle. How could he do it? How could he kill someone that he watched grow up? I rub my hand in circles on Dallas’s back, trying to soothe him, but no amount of words or soothing massages will ease this pain. It’s a betrayal that Dallas wasn’t ready to face. It’s almost as if we’re just finding out about Kyle’s murder all over again. “I’m going to kill him,” Dallas says into my neck. I tense at his words, silently praying that he isn’t going to make them come true. “Don’t say that.” Dallas grabs my hips and then forcefully detaches me from him. I look up at Dallas in shock as I see a newfound anger settling on his face. “It’d be best if you stay here, Kayla.” Dallas takes a step back, his eyes daring me to follow him before he turns and bolts toward his Jeep Wrangler, leaving me stranded in the middle of Naper Settlement. People walk past me, a few looking over their shoulders to see the scene unfolding. I follow Dallas with my eyes until I lose him in

the crowd. Gritting my teeth, I turn to look for Anne, Tyler, and Katie. They’re standing by the hot chocolate stand, and I run over. “Anne. I need your keys. Now.” I snap my fingers and wave my hands as she digs through her purse to toss me the keys to her new Chevy Impala. I clutch them tightly and give Katie a hug. “Stay with Anne and Tyler. I’ll be back in an hour to pick you guys up.” I turn and sprint to the parking lot. I search for the silver sedan, clicking the unlock button as I do so until I see flashing lights, alerting me of its location. Jumping in, I navigate my way through the parking lot until I hit the road. I drive down Aurora Avenue, heading straight for Mikey’s house. I silently congratulate myself for looking up his address a few days ago. I was on the verge of driving over to his house myself a while back to confront him. Dallas’s Jeep is already parked on the road, and he’s long gone inside the house. I throw the car in park and leap out, forgetting to turn the car off. At the moment, I don’t care. I throw the door open and bolt up the stairs in search of Mikey’s room. There, Dallas has Mikey in a choke hold, holding him up against a wall. “You killed him!” Dallas screams. Panting and out of breath, I force myself to run over and grab Dallas by the shoulders, yanking him off. “Stop,” I rasp.

“He killed Kyle!” Dallas yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Mikey. His dark hair is ruffled, and his eyes are bewildered. Then he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to kill him,” Mikey whispers, clenching his hands into fists at his side. “What do you mean? There was no mistaking that it was Kyle! How could you have not known?” Dallas rips himself from my grasp and lunges for Mikey. Mikey skillfully dodges Dallas’s punch and side steps him, moving so he’s standing between me and Dallas in a sort of triangle. “I meant to kill her!” Mikey confesses, pointing at me. My heart skips a beat as I look up at Mikey with complete trepidation. What did he mean? Why would he want to kill me? He didn’t know me! “What?” I ask, my question breathless and almost silent. Mikey’s eyes harden as he looks me up and down. “You were supposed to be with Kyle that night. Not Dallas. Kyle told me that you promised to take him on the Saturdays that Dallas worked. He wasn’t supposed to request the twelfth off. I hired a hitman to be at the courts that night. To kill the girl.” “But I wasn’t there. Why would they kill Kyle?” I ask, ignoring for a moment that Mikey wants me dead. What matters now is figuring out why Kyle is

dead. “I don’t know. I don’t,” he says to Dallas. “I asked him, that day at Lake Michigan. I asked him why he shot Kyle. He said he was paid to kill someone. Doesn’t matter if the target wasn’t in place, he had already pulled over and had the gun out. He had to shoot.” Dallas growls, and this time I don’t try to stop him as he runs forward, grabbing Mikey’s neck and shoving him against the wall. “Why? Why, Mikey? Why would you try to kill her? She’s an innocent girl!” Dallas screams, throwing punches to his ribs. Mikey moans, using Dallas’s hold as support as he leans his head back against the wall. His eyes droop closed, but he manages to keep them open to peek at me. “She and her mom ruined my life. And she doesn’t even know it.” My mom? What did my mom and I ever do to make his life miserable? I barely knew him until I befriended Dallas. “My dad wasn’t perfect. I know that. But I still loved him. I still loved him even though he left me and my mother for some whore and a daughter she claimed to be his!” “What?” I ask, my eyes wide. “You heard me. Your mom showed up one day. I was five, and you must have been four, almost five…I remember that day clearly. She claimed you

were his daughter, and just like that, he ditched us for you. Divorced my mom and married yours. And then he died. He died, rushing home from a business trip to be here for your birthday. Your birthday! You killed him. I grew up knowing my father chose you over me, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. You weren’t about to take Kyle away from me as well!” Tears fall shamefully down my face as I look at Mikey, confessing his secret demons, his darkest past. I can’t help but feel sorry for him. I don’t want to believe anything he is saying. But the conversation Dallas and I had about him months ago entered my mind. “Where is Mikey’s dad? I only ever see his mom at the games,” I ask when Dallas wraps an arm around my shoulders, bringing me close and pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “His dad left when he was about six years old. He died two years ago in a car accident.” I couldn’t help but frown at Dallas’s words. My father had died two years ago in a similar situation. It seems Mikey and I suffer from the same loss. Is that why my father always went to the basketball games? For Mikey? Oh my God! “So, naturally, you have her killed?” Dallas asks, his voice painfully calm and sweet.

“You were thinking the same thing, Dallas. Admit it. You wanted her gone. You couldn’t have some hussy taking Kyle from you.” Dallas shoves Mikey back into the wall and then throws a punch to his cheek. “Do not speak to her in such a manner ever again! In fact, after tonight, you’ll never speak to her again.” Dallas’s words are final, leaving no room for argument. “You killed my brother over sick vengeance. Tell me. Was it worth it?” I lift my eyes, meeting Mikey’s with a cold glare. Even though I hated him with everything in me, I can’t help but feel ashamed. Dallas was right from day one. It’s all my fault.

Chapter Twenty-Three Tyler *Kayla* December 31, 2015 Dallas is holding Mikey against the wall, screaming in his face a series of profanities. His anger chills me to the bone. Everyone knows of Dallas’s dark side. I was at the other end of it a few times. But seeing it again, after months of him working hard to change into someone else, it

frightens me. “I’m going to kill him.” I can’t let that happen. No matter how much I hate Mikey for what he did, I can’t let Dallas harm him. “Dallas.” My voice is small and lost in the shouting. I step forward and say his name a little bit louder. Still, Dallas doesn’t relent. I notice Mikey turning blue from the lack of oxygen. “Dallas!” I cry, placing a hand on his shoulder and using all the strength I can muster to wrench him off Mikey. Dallas staggers back a few steps before he turns on me, lifting a fisted hand and aiming it at my face. I wince, throwing my hands up to block his blow. With one hit, Dallas could knock me out. A few seconds tick by, and everything is still. I peek out from my hands to see Dallas looking at me with wide eyes, his hand still in the same position. As if noticing my eyes zeroing in on his fist, Dallas instantly drops it and sucks in a horrified breath. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he looks around the room at the damage done. A lamp lies shattered on the floor, along with a few picture frames and an alarm clock. There is a hole in the wall where Dallas slammed Mikey’s head. I wince, looking down at the unconscious body at my feet. I resist the urge to kick him in the stomach. How dare he kill Kyle. How dare he try to kill

me, someone he hardly knew. How dare he try to kill anyone, period. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” I turn my head to the sound of Dallas’s voice and let out a sigh. “It’s all right, Dallas.” “No. None of this is all right, Kayla. He killed Kyle, trying to kill you. How are you so calm? How can you just stand there and act as if everything is all right?” Dallas’s voice rises as he speaks. “I’m not calm, Dallas! But I’m trying to be, because you’re losing it right now! I’m so scared…I was the one who was supposed to die. They went to the cemetery for me! They were going to try to kill me again! So no, I’m not all right with any of this. I am terrified!” As if on cue, my nearly dried-out tear ducts begin to overflow. I have never been so unstable and insecure in my whole life. I now know that Mikey has a hired hitman after me. Everywhere I go, I will have to be looking over my shoulder in search for a black SUV. I am not safe. I bring up my hand to my mouth and begin to chew on my middle fingernail as tears roll down my cheeks. My eyes lift to stare into Dallas’s blue ones. They are so beautiful, even with all the anger and sorrow within them. Dallas takes a step forward and places a heavy hand on my shoulder. His fingers dig into my skin

as he bends down so our eyes are level. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Kayla.” His promise is strong, and his voice doesn’t shake with uncertainty. “We will find a way to prove him guilty. We will lock him up. I promise you this, Kayla.” Dallas’s bottom lip begins to quiver, but he quickly bites it to hide it from me. We are both scared. When I nod my head, Dallas quickly leans down to place a kiss to my forehead and grabs my hand. “Let’s go.” Dallas leads me out of Mikey’s house, and when we reach the road, he gives me a tight hug before we go to our separate vehicles. I was right; the Chevy Impala is still running as I slide in the driver’s seat. I’ll have to give Anne gas money. Dallas follows me back to Naperville Settlement where Anne, Tyler, and Katie are waiting for us.

It’s been almost two weeks now since that night. Two weeks since we confronted Mikey. Two weeks that I have been walking around with fear that a gun is pointed at my back. Two weeks since we saw Kyle. Dallas and I both silently assume that we may never see him again. We found out who the

murderer is. He no longer needs to see us, to help us. Is he at peace? Is he at peace, knowing that we will make Mikey pay for his crime? I’m thankful it’s second semester of our senior year. With our college acceptances nearly set in stone, we don’t have to worry as much about keeping up our grades. Dallas, however, has remained on the basketball team. He is determined to see this team to State one last time. Mikey quit the team. He has been nonexistent. We see him every once in a while walking through the halls, but he has made no effort to resume things as they were. Not that we assumed he would. Tyler, however, doesn’t relent on asking why there’s a rift between Mikey and Dallas. He has even cornered me a few times, demanding that I tell him. But it is not my place to tell Tyler. If Dallas wants him to know, he will tell Tyler in his own time. Even without the explanation, Tyler chose to remain friends with Dallas instead of Mikey. He must understand that whatever Mikey did, it was enough to ruin a lifelong friendship. That’s because it was. I confided in Anne. I told her everything, with Dallas’s consent. She was just as surprised as we were, asking the same questions. “How could Mikey do that?” “Why?”

“Why would Mikey want you killed?” Anne has tried to help us figure out a way to get Mikey to confess to his crime. We considered her approaching him with a wire and goading him into confession. When we tried, Mikey only laughed and walked away. Of course, he would assume we’d do something like that. I asked Dallas if he could confide in Tyler, tell him everything. Perhaps we could then use Tyler as a double spy. Dallas seemed to have considered it for a moment but didn’t want to put Tyler into harm’s way. If Mikey found out, who was to say he wouldn’t put a target on Tyler’s back? I mentally shame myself for not thinking of recording the whole conversation in Mikey’s room. Why wasn’t I thinking in advance? Everything would be over now if I had done so. “Earth to Kayla.” Anne’s voice is distant, and I suddenly see a hand waving in front of my face. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I look over at Anne. She’s sitting across the lunch table from me, her eyebrows raised. “You still here with us?” “Sorry. Just thinking.” I turn to gaze at Dallas. He offers me a small smile and places a hand over mine. “Well, I was thinking we should look for a cabin to rent out for Prom. One with a lake. We could spend two nights there, go swimming and what

not,” Tyler says, biting into his sandwich. Prom. I totally forgot about it. The traditional high school dance. One every senior “must” attend. How could I forget? I look over at Dallas again to see him staring at Tyler. “Who would all go?” he asks, popping a grape in his mouth. I reach over a steal a couple from the Ziploc bag. Dallas slides the grapes over so they’re in between us, offering me another smile. “We can invite people from the basketball team. We haven’t really hung out with Travis, Zack, or Eric in a while. We should all go bowling or something. This is our last semester. You guys have been down in the dumps and won’t even tell me why. You need to at least pretend to be teenagers.” I look over at Anne to see her eyes widen slightly at the mention of Travis’ name. I almost laugh at how uncomfortable she looks. “I think that sounds like a great idea,” I say suddenly, surprising everyone, including myself. “You do?” Dallas asks, looking down at me. I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah. I’d like to meet your basketball buddies. And Ty is right. We should enjoy being teenagers while we still are.” I’m not going to let Mikey keep me from living my life with my friends. I may be terrified to step out of my house, but to lock myself inside my house will mean that Mikey won. And I am not about to let that happen.

“All right. I’ll let everyone know. This is gonna be awesome.” Tyler smiles widely as he pulls out his phone and begins messaging his friends. Anne and Dallas stare at me, causing me to twist in my chair and look right back at them. My lips part as I go to defend myself and Tyler. Tyler is not involved in this yet…and he deserves to enjoy his senior year, even if the rest of us can’t. “It’ll be fun,” I whisper. Anne sighs and turns her attention back to Tyler, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. Tyler instantly holds her close as he sends all the details to his friends. Dallas places a kiss to the side of my head, and I lean into him. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear, rubbing his hand up and down my back. “I love you too.” Tyler lets out a laugh, and I peek over to see him smiling down at his phone. He’s happy. Until Tyler finds out about Mikey and Kyle, I will ensure that we do our best to live out our last semester of high school as normal teenagers. It’s what Kyle would have wanted.

Chapter Twenty-Four Bowling *Dallas* January 8, 2016 It’s been two weeks and a day since the night of Naper Lights. Two weeks since Mikey confessed to killing my brother. Two weeks since I last saw Kyle. Two weeks of this unsettling fear of losing Kayla. She is so strong. She wakes up every morning

and goes to school, not letting a hitman that has a gun pointed at her back keep her from living her life. I, however, am scared. I’ve always liked being in control, to have the say in what goes on and how it goes. To be out of control is unacceptable; it leaves me powerless, and I don’t do well with being powerless. Michael Saunders has left me completely powerless. He is after the girl I love for some sick, morbid revenge. I can’t always be with Kayla, and she is too independent and stubborn. I told her that it would be best if, perhaps, we didn’t go bowling with people from the basketball team tonight. That we stay indoors, cuddled together on the couch as we are now. I have no objection to the idea, but Kayla is determined to live without being governed by fear. Kayla has her head on my chest, her body pressed snugged against mine with my arms wrapped around her waist. I find myself always holding tight to her, convincing myself that if I let her go, she will disappear. Just like Kyle. Kayla absentmindedly plays with the hem of my shirt, twirling it around her finger and rubbing the soft material. I look down at her, only seeing the outline of her nose and lips and the top of her head. I run a hand through her soft hair, tilting her head back in the process so she’s looking up at me. Kayla gives me a small smile, causing me to lean

down and give her a peck. “What are you thinking about?” I ask, noticing the far-off look in her eyes. Kayla returns her head to its previous spot, staring at the muted TV. Characters from Disney’s Frozen run about the screen in silence, neither of us interested in the film. As of late, the simple pleasures, such as watching movies or playing card games, no longer appeal to me. Life has dealt Kayla and me a trying hand, and with everything going on, I hardly find myself smiling or truly happy. The few occasional times is when I’m with Kayla and my friends. “I’m thinking about what Mikey said,” Kayla whispers. I feel my brow furrow as I silently dislike this conversation already. “What part?” I run my hand up and down her spine lightly, drawing lazy circles. I know Kayla enjoys when I do this. She has never said so, but I can tell by the way her body leans into my touch and the way her eyes always droop closed. Kayla doesn’t respond for a moment, and I look down to see her resting her eyes. I immediately stop my hand, wanting her to confess to her thoughts. Kayla squirms in my arms, letting out a whimper. I smile, continuing my caress. “That he was right.” I roll my eyes. She’s being very vague. “What part was he right about?” Kayla lets out a heavy

sigh and suddenly untangles herself from my grasp. I drop my hold on her, watching as she sits on her knees, facing me. Her beautiful hazel eyes glisten as tears gather. My heart squeezes as I long to reach over to thumb those tears away. My Kayla has been crying too often. “That it’s all my fault.” Her words are sour to my ears, causing me to frown and look at her with disbelief. “You were right. From the beginning. I am the reason Kyle is dead. It should have been me, but instead it was your brother.” Kayla’s words are a dagger to the heart. How can she even think this? Doesn’t she know that after everything that has happened that it’s Mikey’s own fault? “No, Kayla, it is not your fault, do you hear me? It’s the fault of a sick, twisted guy. It’s Mikey’s fault that Kyle’s dead. I was wrong. I was so wrong, Kayla. I was blinded by rage and loss; I was willing to pin the blame on anyone, and you were such an easy target.” Kayla lets out a heartbreaking sob, her shoulders falling forward as if she no longer has the strength to hold them up. As if she is breaking from the inside. No. Not my strong Kayla. “I am so sorry, Kay.” I reach forward and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, rubbing my thumb over her cheekbones. I collect her tears, fervently

brushing them away. Kayla slowly falls forward, nestling herself back up against my chest. “I don’t care about the past. I don’t care about what your mom did or that your happiness brought on Mikey’s vengeance. You were a little girl who needed a father. It wasn’t your fault. And that is the end of it. Because I still love you, no matter what.” Kayla nods her head, sniffling as her tears come to a stop. She places a kiss to my chest. “Thank you, Dallas. For everything.”

Even after practically begging Kayla to stay indoors, especially after her little meltdown, I find myself parking in front of Brunswick Zone. I look over at Kayla, shaking my head as she tosses me a small smile. “This is for Tyler. And Anne.” I nod. She’s right. Tyler and Anne deserve to live a normal teenage life without all the distractions and complications, even though Anne is determined to help us find the answer to putting Mikey away. I am grateful for her help. We need another mind on the case, someone new and untainted by everything that has happened. Holding Kayla’s hand tightly in my own, I lead her briskly into the bowling alley. Only once the door closes behind me do I roll my tense shoulders. I made Kayla promise to never leave the house

without someone with her. Every morning for school, either Anne or myself pick her up. I walk with her to and from the car every time, waiting for the moment when the black SUV will pull up on the side of the road. I will undoubtedly step in front of Kayla to take the bullet. When we reach the desk to pick up our shoes, I look around to see Tyler and Anne already sitting at lane 7. Travis, Eric, Zack, and their girlfriends are with them as well. Kayla gives my hand a squeeze. I wasn’t looking forward to tonight. I’m not as talented as Kayla is at acting, at pretending everything is all right with a large, cheesy smile. “Come on,” she whispers, leading me toward my friends. Anne quickly engulfs Kayla into a hug, and I begrudgingly release her hand to greet Zack, Eric, and Travis. “Hey, Dally! Funny seeing you outside of school. Beginning to think you were sick of us,” Eric says, walking over to give me a quick hug. I give him a slap on the back as I nod to the other two. The three of them introduce me to their girlfriends, but by the time introductions are over, I regret to say I have forgotten their names. I frown at myself, really wishing Kayla and I hadn’t left her house. “How have you been, Dal?” Travis asks, sitting

on the table to tie his shoes. I watch him for a moment. Travis used to be a great friend of mine. For some reason, we fell out of touch this senior year. Perhaps it’s because we don’t have any classes together. Would that have happened to Tyler if roles were reversed? I almost feel sick to my stomach. I’m a horrible friend. “I’m been okay, T. How about you?” Travis shrugs his shoulders before wrapping his arm around Ashley’s waist. Wait, Ashley? Did I really not recognize her when Travis introduced us? I need to get my head screwed on straight. Ashley sends me a coy smile that makes me shuffle on my feet. I am suddenly uncomfortable, remembering the way I broke her heart. I was a horrible boyfriend. I rub the back of my neck, looking for Kayla. She’s already walking over to my side, her eyebrows etched with concern as she grabs hold of my hand. “Dallas?” Her voice is so quick and small; I am sure I’m the only one who heard it. “Heyyy! It’s Bookworm!” Kayla’s head snaps over at the sound of Zack’s voice. I pull my eyebrows together in confusion. I don’t like that name. It sounds like he’s taunting her. “Hello,” Kayla says, her voice stronger than I

would have assumed. She is a strong person; however, she doesn’t like to be the center of attention in front of a group of people. She is typically more boisterous when it’s just Anne, Tyler, and myself. “Since when did you like the quiet ones, Dally?” Eric asks, holding his own girlfriend close to him. I squint, not liking the way he’s silently comparing his girl to mine. I grit my teeth. “Let’s go,” I grumble to Kayla, turning to walk away. Kayla digs her heels into the ground and holds fast with both hands. “Dallas, come on…” she whispers, looking up at me with her big eyes. Kayla nods her head to Tyler, who is already talking to Eric and Zack about laying off Kayla. Tyler looks at me for a moment and nods, saying he has everything under control. “Please.” Sighing, I relent. I step forward and place a kiss to her forehead. “Tyler, Anne, Kayla, and I against you six,” I say, already sitting down at table 6. We bought both lanes 6 and 7. “You’re out numbered,” Ashley says, and I look her dead in the eyes. “Don’t underestimate Kayla and me.” I hear Kayla groan beside me, and I almost laugh, looking over to see her head in her hands. “Not again…” she whispers. Last time we went bowling, I boasted about how

we were an unbeatable team. Kayla was unconvinced; however, we did beat Tyler and Anne. I did practically carry our team on my shoulders, but Kayla did score us a few points. I smile at how innocent she is. She isn’t competitive, and I admire that about her. Kayla is content with just having fun. The night ended up being fun. Kayla scored a lot more points tonight than she did the last time we played. The four of us ended up beating the six of them, considering Ashley and the other two girls didn’t take the game seriously. Every time Tyler went up to bowl, Anne, Kayla, and I would converse about Mikey. Kayla was a little hesitant about bringing up the conversation, considering she wanted tonight to be focused on making Tyler happy. I pointed out that he is indeed happy. He hasn’t stopped smiling since we began bowling. “We need to find someone he can confide in. Or someone he did confide in,” Anne says, nibbling on her fingernails. I note that both Kayla and Anne bite their nails whenever they’re anxious or stressed. Who would that be? Who did Mikey trust more than he did his friends? Tyler was still the number one option, to use him as a double spy as Kayla suggested. But I am hesitant on getting Tyler involved. We have already endangered Anne…

The only person I could think of was his mother. But she would never go against her own child. Mikey was all she had… That single thought causes an uneasiness to stir within me. Mrs. Saunders is a sweet, kind lady. Putting Mikey away for murder is going to leave her alone for the rest of her life, and she doesn’t deserve that. But Mikey doesn’t just get to walk away as if everything is all right. I hand my shoes to the lady behind the desk, along with Kayla’s. Kayla is bent over, pulling on her black boots, and I quickly avert my gaze. One would have to be blind to not see that she has a perfect figure. Kayla is absolutely stunning, and I am lucky to have her as my girlfriend. While I am sexually attracted to Kayla, I know it will not happen. We haven’t talked about it, but I know she’s waiting until marriage. I respect her decision, and I will wait until that time…because I plan on spending the rest of my life with her— marrying her and having a family with her. An arm wraps around my waist, and I instinctively cling to Kayla’s small body, placing a kiss to her head. “Thank you for tonight,” she says. “You’re welcome, baby.” The name rolls off my tongue, and I quickly bite it. I have never called Kayla “baby” before, and I expect her to shut it down. But she only smiles.

We all say goodbye to one another. I am glad Kayla dragged me out of the house to see my friends. It was nice to catch up and be reminded that we are still, in fact, teenagers. That even though outside of Brunswick Zone awaits a colossal number of headaches and upsets, it’s okay to get away from it all for a couple of hours. As we head for the exit, I notice someone familiar sitting at Lane 1. I squint my eyes as if to get a better look at her, to will my brain to recognize who it is. When our eyes meet, a look of horror flickers across her features, and I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong. The blonde girl stares at me, her lips parting as a look of sympathy now adorns her face. Gah, who is she? “Kay…” I whisper and stop walking. Kayla looks up at me to follow my gaze over at the girl. I hear her gasp slightly. “That’s Shelby!” she whispers with slight excitement. Shelby… The girl who was with Mikey when we went jet skiing. As Kayla releases my hand to go toward Shelby, she quickly turns and bolts the other way, out of our sight. Kayla looks over at me with a confused expression. What was that about?

Chapter Twenty-Five Answer *Kayla* January 11, 2016 Today we don’t have school because of School Improvement Planning. Even though I think it’s a ridiculous reason to not have school, I’m not complaining, nor is any other student. Just back from Christmas break, we’re glad to have another day off.

There are only a few more months left of school, and even though I’m excited to be done with high school, I’m also anxious. We have a time limit to prove that Mikey is the murderer. Once summer break is over, we’ll all be going to college and going our separate ways. Life will go on, and I’m afraid that we may forget about solving Kyle’s murder. We have reached a dead end, it seems. We got Mikey to confess to Dallas and me; however, we can’t find a way to get the evidence we need. We can’t go to the police and accuse Mikey without evidence. Mikey doesn’t have the murder weapon. He doesn’t own a black Ford Expedition. He doesn’t have cause to kill Kyle, because he intended for me to die. We need a confession or a witness who could claim his alibi of September 12 false. But who? His mother would never confess to her darling son being a killer. She would defend Mikey until her last breath. The only other person who would have known where Mikey was that night is the person who was sitting in the passenger seat with his gun pointed at Kyle’s chest…but again, we don’t know who that is. I curl up on my bed, hugging my “I Love You to The Moon and Back” pillow that my grandma gave me to my chest. We’re just kids. I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from crying. All this weight has been

bearing down on us, and we’re only teenagers. We have to solve this case on our own, and we don’t know the first thing about being detectives or solving cases. I should be planning my dress for prom and getting excited about graduation. I should be spending every waking hour with my friends because they will soon be gone and out of my life. I will always remember the few moments of my senior year when I actually felt like a teenager… going to the movies with Dallas, going bowling… even having to pluck a bottle of whiskey from his grasp…jet skiing. Jet skiing is by far the best memory I have. We were oblivious to Mikey’s betrayal; therefore, we were able to spend the day carefree and happy. Dallas taught me how to ride a jet ski, gifting me with one of my biggest wishes. Tyler and Anne were having the time of their lives as well. I’m glad that Anne has found a good guy like Tyler, who will treat her well. It was obvious they have strong feelings for each other, even when they had only started talking the day before. And apart from the odd argument with his friend, Mikey was decent to hang around too. He didn’t spoil the mood, even though he did scowl at me a few times. Now I understand why he did so. He wanted me dead… Oh my God.

I throw my pillow on the floor and nearly leap out of bed. Sprinting toward the door, I whip my phone from my back pocket and dial Dallas’s number. “I’ll be at your house in five minutes,” I say before he can even greet me and hang up without hearing his response. I snatch my keys and purse off the counter and race toward the front door. I ignore the look Katie tosses me from the living room and exit the house. When I get to Dallas’s house, he’s already outside waiting for me. He arches an eyebrow as he runs toward my passenger seat. “What’s going on?” he asks, buckling in as I drive toward the park. “It was him. The guy at the lake. It was him.” I bite out, looking over at Dallas with wide eyes. He squints at me, not completely understanding what I’m saying. “The owner of the black SUV!” Understanding adorns Dallas’s face before it turns to horror and then anger. He reaches up and runs a hand through his hair. I park the car and turn to Dallas. “Kyle knew they were both there. We do and we don’t know the killer. Dallas, we saw them from the beginning. They were right in front of us.” I gnaw on my bottom lip. How could Mikey be so careless? He was talking to his partner in crime right before us, no

more than a hundred yards away. Does it not sit on his conscience? Does it not weigh heavy that he killed his best friend’s brother? Clearly not, if he’s meeting publicly, right in front of Dallas, with the assassin. I feel sick to my stomach as I lift my eyes to see the look of loss on Dallas’s face. “He was right there, Kayla…the man who shot Kyle.” Dallas turns his head so our eyes meet, tears welling in his beautiful blue orbs. I reach over and thumb them away, just as he does to me so many times. “And I just let him walk away…” “No, Dallas. You mustn’t blame yourself. There was no way you could have known…” “Kyle’s clue wasn’t good enough for us? We should have been more diligent. We got lazy. We dismissed what he told us. We were selfish, Kayla.” Dallas’s tone is sharp, and I find myself frowning at him. I don’t like what he’s saying. Dallas is far from selfish. He has become the most selfless person I know these last couple of months. Was it so wrong for us to want to enjoy one day as teenagers? I feel a tightness in my chest as tears gather in my eyes as well. No matter what I tell myself, I can’t help but feel guilty. While we were being teenagers and having fun, Kyle is stuck in some sort of limbo. He can’t find peace. And we were riding jet skis.

“We will catch them, Dallas. We will make them both pay. I promise you. We just have to find a way to soil his alibi.” I lean against my chair and look up at the roof of my car, as if our answer was plastered there. I feel his warm hand encase mine, and I look at him from the corner of my eye. Dallas lifts our hands and places a kiss to my knuckles. “I’m glad I have you with me during all this, Kayla. I was stupid to ever think I could do it on my own. You are the one person that keeps me rooted. Without you, I’d be lost with turmoil and anger. I love you, Kay.”

“What do you think about the chicken salad sandwich?” Anne asks, gazing down the menu, her beautiful red hair falling around her face as a curtain. My eyes flicker to her for a moment before they move back outside. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. There are a few white, fluffy clouds in the baby blue sky. The wind is soft, causing a gentle rustle to the leaves on the oak tree across the lot. I can hear the quiet, angelic songs that the birds sing as they flutter from tree to tree. The grass is green from the melted snow, though there are a few brown patches. There is still no luck with finding a way to prove

Mikey guilty. It is bearing down on Dallas. He’s hardly sleeping; he’s growing impatient. The last two days, he has barely spoken to me, despite the fact that he admitted he couldn’t do without me. I understand. He needs time to himself. We can’t always be together. Perhaps it’s good that we have some time apart. We have been together so much because of Kyle that there’s a bead of doubt ebbing in the back of my mind. After we solve Kyle’s murder and everything is finished, will Dallas grow tired of me? All we know is being together because of Kyle, because of this situation. But once it’s over, will we lose our connection? Will we realize that there really was nothing there to begin with but two people working together to solve a case? I bite my bottom lip at the thought. I don’t want to lose Dallas. I love him, more than I thought possible for someone our age. I rely on him as a support system. I rely on him as a safehaven. I rely on him as a getaway. If I lose him, I will lose stability and sensibility. Does he rely on me the same way I rely on him? Funny how it can be such a beautiful day, even with all the atrocious events that are going on in the world. “Kayla!” I let out a grunt in pain as my arm explodes with a throbbing sensation. I jerk my eyes over to Katie,

who has a guilty smile on her face. “Why did you just punch me?” I whisper, arching an eyebrow. “Anne asked you a question about a sandwich… about three minutes ago,” Katie says, propping her chin into the palm of her hand, so her eyes zero in on me. “And we’ve just been watching you since. You make weird faces when you think.” I let out a huff and turn to look Anne in the eyes. “The chicken salad sandwich sounds phenomenal. It’s what I get every time I come to Emerson Creek.” While the Village Grind is my favorite place in Oswego, Emerson Creek Tea Room is Katie’s. It’s a rustic, simple barn that was renovated into a cute tea room. The food here is delightful, and the staff is friendly. Everyone in Oswego is friendly. “Excellent.” Anne claps her hands and turns to the waitress, who I didn’t notice was standing there, taking in all that just happened. I flush with slight embarrassment as I order the sandwich and raspberry ice tea, the exact same as Anne and Katie. “Katie, how’s dance?” Anne asks my sister. I turn my attention to Katie. Her dirty blonde hair is pulled into a French braid, starting from the very top of her head and all the way to her mid back. It’s neat and beautiful. A few freckles adorn her cheeks, but apart from that,

she has our mother’s pale yet flawless complexion. She’s wearing a pretty pink sundress, even though it’s fifty degrees outside. “It’s going well. I took your advice”—Katie points to me—“and am focusing primarily on hip hop.” I smile widely at this. I am so proud of Katie. She has no fear in chasing her dreams. I’m happy that she has a hobby she’s passionate about. Dance has always been her passion, and I hope that she will be able to continue it for many years to come. “That’s great, Katie. I’m so happy for you,” I say, reaching over to grab her braid and run my hand over it. Katie slightly tilts her head to follow the pull before I let it drop. Upon a gentle ding, someone enters the tea room. My eyes lift, and I immediately recognize the person walking through the door. She’s dressed in a dark purple, floor-length dress with the material that’s sheer from her knees down. Her hair is twisted into a messy bun with dangling, silver chandelier earrings. Shelby. I watch her for a moment, glad she doesn’t notice me. I’m sure she’d bolt from the room if she did, not that I understand why. I hardly know her. Why was she so freaked out when she saw Dallas and me? “Hey…that’s…”

I look over at Anne and see her subtly pointing a finger in Shelby’s direction, her eyebrows pulled together as she tries to ponder the name. “Shelby,” I help, taking a sip of the raspberry tea. “Yeah. Shelby. Wonder how she’s doing. Bet she has repercussions from dating Mikey.” Anne giggles to herself. I feel my arm lock as my eyes lift from my tea and focus in on Anne. She seems to have the same train of thought as she quickly quits laughing and stares at me with wide eyes. Instantaneously, we look over at Shelby, our mouths gaping wide. “She’s the answer…” I whisper to myself. Shelby was dating Mikey throughout the whole incident. She would have known where he was September 12. She would have most likely seen a text or heard a suspicious phone call… Shelby is the answer. Anne turns back to look at me, and we both let out a gusty, weight-lifting breath. “Holy—”

Chapter Twenty-Six Convince *Dallas* January 16, 2016 It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun is shining, only a few clouds adorning the sky. The wind is gentle, allowing the sun to bring the illusion of warmth to the chilly temperature. It’s a perfect day for a normal teenager to go to the courts and play a few rounds of basketball. Or

take their dog for a walk. Or head over to Emerson Creek for tea with a best friend and sister. Kayla had invited me to go. Even if I wasn’t in a dull mood and everything wasn’t a mess, I still would have declined her invitation. There was never going to be a day, not even when the sun rises in the West and sets in the East, that I will willingly sit down at that restaurant. I don’t mean to slander any male that goes to Emerson Creek; it’s normal for husbands and even boyfriends to attend with their significant other. I, on the other hand, am not accustomed to tea and finger food. That, however, was not the reason I said no to going with Kayla. Neither was my dreary mood… my reason is something far more complicated and trouble inducing. Kayla will throw a tantrum when she finds out. I beep my car locked as I lightly jog up the driveway and into the front door of the large gray house. Without invitation, I take the steps two at a time until I reach the top and head toward the bedroom where the door is still hanging off its hinges. I did some real damage… I ignore the absurd guilt as I look into Mikey’s bedroom, seeing him laughing on his bed, his phone above his head. Probably texting his assassin.

I push the negative thought out of my head and clear my throat. When his big brown eyes look over at me, I feel this uncontrollable urge to lunge forward and sock him in the jaw. How can he just lay there, after everything that has happened? Does he not feel a morsel of guilt? “Dally…” Mikey swings his legs off the side of the bed and stands up, walking over to stop a few feet from me. “I’m guessing you’re not here to play a round of Halo.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans, and I clench my jaw, feeling it tick at his lame attempt to bring humor into the situation. “No. I’m not.” Mikey nods his head. “I need to know why you did it. I need you to make me understand why you had to kill an innocent, teenage girl. I need you to explain how it justifies the fact that my brother got the bullet instead of Kayla.” I look him dead in the eyes, watching as he gulps and takes a step back. To my utter astonishment, tears well in his eyes. I feel sick. “I never meant for Kyle to die,” he whispers. “No. You meant for Kayla to die,” I bite out, glaring at him. Mikey turns and sits down on his bed, nodding his head. “Yes, and she still has a target on her back, Dally. I paid my hitman to go after her again. She has to pay for what happened. She not only killed

my father, but she killed Kyle now. It’s only fair. A life for a life…Two lives, rather.” His rationality is grotesque. Does he really think that this justifies anything? Kayla never harmed her father. She didn’t shoot Kyle in the chest. She had a birthday. She aged, and her father wanted to be home to celebrate with her. That is no one’s fault, aside from the drunk driver. “I hate her, Dallas. I hate everything about her. She has her hooks so deep in you, you can’t see what she’s doing. She has wormed her way inside your head. She’s manipulative. She is a conniving, stealing bitch.” I let out a growl of anger and step forward to punch him; however, he quickly dodges and moves to his desk chair, shaking his head at me. “You don’t know a thing about her.” “But I do. I know her all too well, Dally. I’ve been watching her since I was six years old. She has a younger sister, Katie. She loves dance; however, she’s leaning toward hip hop instead of ballet, much to her mother’s distaste. Katie vaguely knew Kyle, only saw him in a few classes. Her mother is a nurse, works with your mom, actually. Her shifts are typically five to two; her days off are Tuesdays and Fridays. She has a best friend, Anne, who dated Travis from the basketball team. She would go to every game, except for when they were on Saturdays. She works at the local vet as an

assistant on Saturdays.” I stare at Mikey, disgusted as he spews our all this information…everything that I have learned to be correct over the past months I’ve been with Kayla. “Her favorite author is Francine Rivers. I knew before you did…it typically takes her a day and a half to finish a book, even if it’s a school-assigned novel. She drives a silver Solara convertible that she was given on her seventeenth birthday by her grandmother, who lives in Virginia. She’s quiet and always sits in the back or corner; everyone typically leaves her alone. But she sees everything. She had her eye on you since sophomore year. Why do you think she begged her mom to convince yours to let Kyle get tutored? Are you that dense? We both know Kyle wasn’t that horrible at school. He didn’t need a tutor. She was just doing that to get closer to you, to watch from a distance and then strike at your lowest. She is just like every other girl you’ve slept with. She wants your money and your fame. Nothing else.” Mikey speaks with such confidence that I almost feel as if I should believe him. Of course, I do not. Mikey knows Kayla from what he sees on the outside. I know her for what I see on the inside. She’s the girl I love, and I know her heart. She is

selfless and would never scheme a way into my life. Not even if Mikey does know her favorite author or license plates for her car. All Mikey is doing is making me more vengeful. I would enjoy nothing more than seeing him rot behind the bars of a prison. “No one would have cared if Kayla Williams died that night. You would have been grateful; you hated her back then.” Mikey grabs a Snickers bar from the drawer of the desk, where he always keeps an assortment of chocolate bars. I remember countless times when I would get up from playing a round of Halo and pluck a Butterfinger from that drawer. Back then, we were just kids with no thoughts of murder…at least, that’s what I thought. “I did. And I regret every day how rude I was to her. But no, I wouldn’t be grateful. Only someone as twisted as yourself would be.” Mikey shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of the bar. “I loved Kyle, Dally. When I pulled up to the curb that night, I never expected to see you there. I reacted too slowly; the gun had already gone off before I could drive away.” How could he be eating and talking about this? I shake my head and take a step away from him, scratching the back of my neck. “You were my best friend, Mikey. I loved you as if you were my brother. I trusted you, man. And after everything,

you pull something like this? Even if it wasn’t me. Even if you did kill Kayla, what do you think would have happened to Kyle? Him witnessing her death? You’re callous and selfish, and I hate you with every fiber within me.” I cast him one last look before I turn to head out of the room. “I never meant to hurt you, Dally! It was never supposed to go down this way.” I hear Mikey get up, and I look over his shoulder to see him walking toward me, his head bowed as he types away on his phone. My eyebrows come together as the black and silver case for my iPhone 6s meets my gaze. I watch as he makes a few movements on the screen and then hands the phone back to me. “Grabbed it when you tried to punch me. Tsk. Trying to record our conversation.” Mikey looks me dead in the eyes, his expression dull and soulless. I don’t even recognize him. “I’ve been prepping for assassinating Kayla Williams. I know how to ensure my secret is safe, Dally. You’ll never convict me.” He reaches up and pats my cheek. “Now, get the hell out of my house.”

I sit on my couch, my fingers drumming against the arm as I stare at the blank TV. Kayla should be here any moment. I called her on my way home

from Mikey’s; she had just finished with lunch and claims she has news for me. I miss her greatly. The last few days I’ve been distant, and I know it causes her angst. I saw it in her eyes every time I slid by her in the hallways. I’m not mad at her. I don’t hate her or blame her or whatever else she’s conjuring up in her mind. I just couldn’t pretend everything was all right anymore. I couldn’t continue on with a high school relationship while Mikey sits two rows away from us. I have to get him behind bars. I have to solve this…then, Kayla and I can finally return to our normal lives. Kayla did convince me to continue playing basketball, however. I have been going to every game, and every time I look into the stands, I smile when I see her sitting there. She always waves and smiles back. For the hour and a half I’m on the court, the world can’t touch me. Nothing else matters, and it’s nice to have an escape. “Hi, baby.” I feel a kiss to the top of my head, and I look up to see my mom walk around the couch to sit next to me. I offer a small smile. “Hey, Mom,” I whisper. “How’s Kayla doing?” My mother adores Kayla. Sometimes, I’m sure she’ll switch us out so that Kayla could be her daughter. She definitely treats her as if she is. “She’s doing well. She’s heading over now,

actually,” I answer. My mom claps her hands in excitement. “Excellent! I shall make banana nut bread. Did you know Kayla was the one who got Kyle to love it so much?” She rises to her feet and looks down at me with a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Talking about Kyle still dampens her mood. I’m not surprised. Kyle used to hate bananas, until one day I saw him sitting at the kitchen table, devouring one. “She convinced him bananas would help him grow tall for basketball.” My mom laughs. “That girl is definitely creative. She managed to convince him into tutoring because she said being smart will eliminate bad body odor.” She giggles. I look over at my mom with an arched eyebrow. Was did she just say? “What do you mean, she convinced him?” My mom goes to answer, but the doorbell rings and cuts her off. She smiles and rushes to the kitchen to make the bread. I yell for Kayla to enter the house. When the door opens, I look over my shoulder to see her. She’s wearing a beautiful baby blue dress that hugs at her waist and flares out at the hips. It reaches her knee, and the sleeves are quarter length, stopping just before her elbow. Her hair hangs in loose curls, framing her tan cheeks. Her beautiful hazel eyes shine; I can see them perfectly from across the room. She is so naturally

beautiful, and when she dolls up, she’s simply breath-taking. As she walks toward me, a bright smile on her lips, I can’t help but wonder if Mikey was right. Did my mom just confirm it? Kayla plops down beside me and leans over to place a kiss to my cheek. Her cool, wind-kissed hand encloses mine, and I can’t help but stare at her, studying the way she sits. Everything about her is so delicate and polite. I can’t imagine her scheming and using Kyle to get to me. And I definitely cannot see her wanting my money. She isn’t materialistic in any way. She would rather visit her father’s grave for Christmas than earn diamond earrings. “What’s wrong?” Kayla asks, her eyebrows pinching together in concern. I can’t help but think back to when she softly touched the skin between my eyebrows, telling me that I “crinkle.” It was such an odd statement that brought a smile to my face. “Did you convince Kyle into tutoring?” I ask her. Kayla’s eyes widen slightly as she gapes at me, her mouth falling open. She is obviously shocked by my question. I tell myself that the answer doesn’t matter. I love her, no matter what. But I had to know if Mikey was right. Does she just want me for my money? My possible fame?

Asking these questions to myself make me see how completely ridiculous this all is. “Yes. I did,” she answers. “I told him it would get rid of BO.” Yes, that’s what my mother said. She’s being honest. She is always honest. “Why?” I ask. Kayla bites her bottom lip and looks over at me, shaking her head slightly. “Why do you want to know?” “Something Mikey said. I just—” “Mikey? When did you speak with Mikey?” I mentally slap myself. That was definitely not how I wanted to tell her. “Today. While you were at tea. I went over to talk to him, and he told me you convinced Kyle to be tutored to get close to me.” Shut up, shut up, shut up. Kayla scoffs and shakes her head, looking away from me. I can see her skin flushing with anger as she clenches her hands into fists. “Naturally, you believe the man that killed your brother, right?” She looks over at me, her eyes watery. “I didn’t believe him. But then my mom just confessed that you did, in fact, convince him. So now, I’m just wanting to understand,” I tell her. Kayla gets to her feet and crosses her arms across her chest. Her hands rub up and down her arms, subconsciously comforting herself. “I convinced Kyle to be tutored so I could get close to

you. Make you fall in love with me so I could rob you of your fortunes and claim your fame.” Her voice shakes as she speaks, her hazel eyes meeting mine as she looks at me with disbelief. “He’s trying to turn you against me…” I quickly jump to my feet and walk toward her, grabbing her by the arms and pulling her close to my chest. “I don’t care what you did, Kayla. I don’t care if that was your intention. Just like you don’t care that I hated you. What matters now is that I love you. That I trust and believe in what you tell me. Damn whatever Mikey has to say. So what if he was right? So what if he wasn’t? I will believe your truth, Kayla. No one else’s.” My eyes don’t waver from hers. I have to make her see that what I am saying is the truth. It was a mistake to even bring this conversation up. I never want her to doubt the trust I have in her. “She convinced Kyle to be tutored because I asked her to.” I look over Kayla’s shoulder to see my mom standing there, holding a wooden spoon slathered in batter. I pull my eyebrows together. “Why do you think Kyle was so tenacious about you two getting together? It started out as me wanting you two to meet. Until Kyle formed a strong bond with Kayla and he begged me to continue tutoring sessions. By your junior year, Kyle was doing it on his own accord, genuinely wanting you two to become friends.”

“What? Why would you elaborate such a plan?” I ask her, my eyebrows coming together. These last few months, I have been nothing but confused and curious. I will soon have a permanent “crinkle.” “Kayla’s father had just passed away. Your father was nonexistent for the most part. You both have a passion for basketball. You’re both independent. I just wanted you guys to find solace in each other. Kayla has been important to me since she was a baby. I was trying to help. But my son is too damn stubborn to listen to the advice of adults and his brother.” I detach from Kayla and walk over to my mother. She looks at me warily, but I’m not angry with her. I am far from it. It is because of her I am with Kayla in the first place. It’s a domino effect. Because she pushed Kyle into tutoring, with Kayla’s help, Kyle formed a bond with Kayla. And even though that bond wasn’t what brought Kayla and I together, despite multiple efforts, it allowed Kyle and Kayla to grow close. Which then meant that Kayla was the only person I could find comfort in when Kyle died. And now, she is my rock and my safe haven. I lean on her for support. She is my life source, my breathing mask. I hug my mom, squeezing her tight. I practically owe her my life. “Thank you.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven Gabe *Kayla* January 16, 2016 Listening to Mrs. Perkins admit to plotting to get Dallas and I together was unanticipated. I never would have imagined that the sweet, gentle Mrs. Perkins could have orchestrated such a plan. While I’m slightly devastated to hear that the first year of my relationship with Kyle was

fraudulent, I am also grateful. Because of her plan, I did end up having a platonic relationship with Kyle, which I had valued greatly. It then progressed to falling in love with Dallas, which never would have happened without the mutual love we both had for Kyle. I watch as Dallas hugs his mother, whispering into her ear, and I smile. The past few months, their relationship has been strained due to the loss they both suffered. But today, it seems as if they have overcome whatever emotional hurdle that was before them. “Kayla. Come here.” My eyes refocus onto Mrs. Perkins as I exit my thoughts. I quickly walk over and step into her arms. When I heard her say that I have been important to her since I was a child, I had to fight the urge to cry. I have only known Mrs. Perkins vaguely through my mother. My mother did claim to talk a great deal about me to her coworker. I never would have thought it would lead to Mrs. Perkins developing motherly feelings for me. I had met her only a number of times until Kyle started coming to my house for tutoring. I cling to her, taking a deep breath as I blink back tears. “Thank you,” I whisper to her, breathing in her fresh shampoo scent before I step back and look over at Dallas. He smirks and reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Mom, I need to speak with Kayla privately. Can we be excused?” Dallas asks, tilting his head to gaze at his mother. Mrs. Perkins nods and places a kiss to his cheek before giving my shoulder a squeeze and walking into the kitchen. “Banana nut bread will be ready in about forty minutes.” I grip Dallas’ hand as he turns and leads me up the stairs to his bedroom. He sits me down on the bed and shuts the door before joining me. He lays back on the plush pillows and opens his arms for me. I crawl forward and rest my head on his chest, placing my hand on his toned stomach. Dallas subconsciously plays with my hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “It wouldn’t have mattered,” he says softly. I stare at the bathroom door across the room, waiting for him to continue. “I would give you every cent I have, every portion of my fame and successes. If you had used Kyle to get to me, I wouldn’t have cared. When Mikey told me, I just thought he was trying to turn us against each other. I didn’t believe him, even though he does know your favorite author and your mother’s work schedule.” My eyebrows come together as I frown. I knew Mikey must have kept tabs on me if he was plotting my murder since I reclaimed my father. But to hear Dallas admitting that Mikey knows these facts disturbs me.

“It was only when my mother said the same thing, it planted a seed of doubt. I was slightly concerned, but when I asked you, a brief, terrifying thought crossed my mind. By asking this absurd question, I risk losing her trust and her. I can’t lose you, Kayla. No matter what, I can’t bear the thought of not having you by my side. So I came to the conclusion that if you did use Kyle, I wouldn’t care.” I look up at him to see tears in his eyes. He’s staring at the ceiling, but when my eyes focus on him, he tilts his head downward to look at me. Dallas runs the back of his knuckles across my cheeks. “We’re going to get Mikey locked up. We’re going to ensure that Kyle finds the peace he deserves. And then I am never going to let you go.” I smile softly at him. Dallas wants a future with me. Whatever doubt I had in the back of my head, us not having anything in common after all this, has vanished. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together, and nothing else matters. We will work through everything else. “I love you, Dallas,” I say softly. Dallas smiles and shifts to place a kiss to my forehead. As much as I would enjoy lying in his arms for the rest of the day, I have to tell him about Shelby. As he said, we will have time for this after we help Kyle. I prop up on an elbow and interlace our fingers

together, resting them on his chest. I look into his eyes of endless blue. “Shelby dated Mikey…She is our answer,” I say. Dallas stares at me with a blank expression for a moment, not grasping what I’m saying, before understanding dawns on him. He sits up and looks at me with wide eyes. “Kayla, you’re brilliant.” I smile. “Do we know where she lives? How to find her?” “Anne is already on it, asking people from the basketball and football team, seeing if anyone knows of her. When she finds anything out, she will let us know.” Dallas runs a hand through his hair and lets out a deep breath. I can see the hope welling within him. He’s eager to come to the end of this, just as I am. Even though it means we will have to say goodbye to Kyle, once and for all.

Anne called a few hours later, providing an address. I was eager to find out how she got the information, but Dallas was already out of the house and starting the car before I had the chance to ask. We drive to Shelby’s house in Naperville with the speed that could grant us many tickets. Dallas didn’t care; he had to get to the house as quick as

possible. We have to get the answers. Once he parks on the side of the road, Dallas runs to the house, and I let out a sigh, reaching over to take the key out of the ignition. I follow after him at a calmer pace, approaching the front door, where he waits for it to open. He knocks again, and a moment later, the hunter green door is pulled open. I look to see Shelby, who stares at us with wide eyes. “Shelby—” I am cut off when she goes to close the door. Dallas quickly sticks a foot out to prop it open. “Please, go away. I don’t know anything.” Her voice shakes. I pull my eyebrows together and let out another sigh. She’s scared. Does she think Mikey will come after her if she testifies? “We need to know.” Dallas’ voice is weak, begging for her to help us. I look over at him from the corner of my eyes. “Shelby, please. We have to put him away. Please, help us.” Shelby doesn’t answer. She tilts her head to the side, to look at something behind the door. I see her lift her left hand and make quick movements. I squint, trying to understand what she’s doing. Does it look like…sign language? I bite my bottom lip and wonder who she’s talking to.

The door is wrenched open, and I see a boy around the age of ten looking up at us, his big blue eyes boring into me. Letting out a gasp, I look over at Dallas to see his eyes widen. He looks like Kyle… The boy turns and signs to Shelby, making a few gestures toward Dallas and me. What is he saying? “Come in.” Shelby sighs, stepping back. We follow her into her living room, the boy walking with his sister. They both sit on a couch, and Shelby directs us to the other identical couch. I sit, looking at both of them as they continue to silently converse. “Fine!” she bites out, making an abrupt motion before she looks at us. “I read lips,” she says softly, looking around as if something was going to jump out and take her. Dallas and I don’t say anything. We both wait for her to continue, too scared that if we pressure her, she will shut down and kick us out. Shelby looks over at her brother, who just nods his head. “Gabe is deaf. I took sign language courses with him, and I learned how to read lips. It was the day after jet skiing. I was watching from a distance while Mikey was speaking to some man. I only got Mikey’s side of the conversation.” Shelby stops. Her hands shake on her lap, and I notice her

gulp. “You probably think I’m a coward…but I was scared. Of Mikey. Of what he would do to Gabe if he found out what I knew. I mean, he was so willing to kill Kyle, why not Gabe?” Dallas tenses beside me but remains silent. “We’re going to lock him up, Shelby. Nothing will happen to Gabe,” I say. Gabe nods his head in agreement. “He was angry, telling the man that he didn’t do what he paid him. He killed the wrong person and that Kyle was never supposed to be harmed. It took a while to understand. But I finally put it together.” Shelby looks over at Gabe and grabs his hand. “I’ll testify. I will help you put him in jail. But once that’s done, I want you to stay away from me and my brother.” Her voice is firm as she lifts her eyes to stare at us with a sharp expression. I bite my bottom lip and nod my head. “Good. Now, call the cops and let’s put this bastard behind bars.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight Choice *Kayla* January 16, 2016 “Thank you again, Shelby. We’re in your debt,” I say, stepping over the threshold of Shelby’s house, Dallas right behind me. I turn to look at Shelby, offering her a smile. Gabe stands behind her, waving goodbye. “This will all be over soon,” she says, giving me a nod in

farewell. I bite my bottom lip as the door closes. All chances of ever befriending Shelby have vanished. I recall how much I enjoyed spending time with her at the Ozarks. She could have been a great friend to Anne and me. I’m sorry to see the opportunity gone. Dallas gently grabs my hand, and I look over to him, not able to keep the smile off my face as I do. We will finally get Mikey behind bars. We have our witness. She’ll testify to Mikey’s involvement, and Kyle will finally be free. Dallas leads me toward his Jeep, unlocking it as he does so. “Let’s go tell Anne. I’m sure she’s writhing on the inside to find out,” I say. Dallas softly chuckles and releases my hand so I can make my way over to the passenger seat. It’s now dark out, at nearly nine o’clock at night. We had spent almost two hours at Shelby’s house, devising how everything was going to pan out. Tomorrow, she’s going to report to the police station, accusing Mikey of killing Kyle Perkins. Naturally, she will be questioned, and if need be, there will be a trial where Mikey and Shelby will be questioned. I am pleased that Shelby is willing to do all this. She is scared for Gabe. She wants the lunatic behind bars as much as we do.

I can’t imagine how she feels. She was dating Mikey. She had feelings for him, similar to what I have for Dallas… I could never fathom what I would do if Dallas turned out to be a murderer. You begin to question your judgment of people. You question your ability to read and maybe you even, for a second, question your involvement. Perhaps, if I insisted on having a date night, he wouldn’t have been able to kill that boy. I shake my head from my thoughts. Soon, it will all be over. I walk around the front of the car to get to the passenger door. I momentarily freeze when I see someone crouched down by the side of the Jeep. My eyes widen as I notice who is before me a second too late. Before I can even step back in attempt to flee, a hand is placed firmly around my neck, and I am twisted around so my back is rubbing against his chest. “No!” I hear Dallas yell, and my eyes desperately seek him. Just as I find the ocean blue eyes that always bring me comfort, I feel something cold placed to my right temple. I watch Dallas, barely tall enough to see him over the top of the Jeep. His body is locked, frozen in fear that if he moves, Mikey will pull the trigger. His hands are raised, declaring surrender as his

petrified eyes remain on us. I run cold, chills traveling up my spine. Goosebumps rise on my arms, and tears threaten to gather in my eyes. Fear settles heavily in the pit of my stomach. I feel as though I am going to be sick. The gun jabs my head harshly, causing Dallas to jolt and side step, in attempt to get around the Jeep and to my aid. “Huh-uh! Stay put, Dally, or I’ll blow her brains out.” I flinch at his words, letting out a whimper as scenes flicker through my mind of Mikey shooting me. This is not how I want to die. Not like this, in cold blood…so young. Not in front of Dallas, where he is rendered helpless and scared. I feel the gun lift from my temple, and I look out of the corner of my eye to see Mikey tap the barrel of the handgun to his forehead. “You know I have been following her every move, Dallas. You know I never let her out of my sight. I always have people watching…so naturally, I would follow you two here. How disappointing.” Mikey lets out a sigh. “You finally figured out someone who would spill the secret…before I did too. How clever. Shame I’ll have to kill Shelby now, too.” I look back at Dallas. As Mikey continues with his monologue, with his gun away from my head, Dallas quickly slides over the hood of the car so he’s directly in front of us. Mikey, just as fast, takes

a step back. The hand on my neck forces me to follow as the gun again is placed at my temple, harshly digging into my skin. Dallas halts, his eyes wide as he stares at me. “Now, Dally. Don’t be rash. I will kill her. I’ve been wanting to kill her since I was six years old.” Mikey lets out a disappointed, heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging dramatically. He’s psychotic. “But I will not be the one to kill her. No. No. It’s going to be you who gets to kill precious Kayla.” Dallas harshly glares behind me at Mikey. “You’re delusional. I will never harm her.” Dallas’s voice is thick with anger and fear. I have never seen him in so much turmoil. The fact that he’s scared only frightens me more. I can live with the fact that Mikey wants to kill me. I can live with the fact that there is a gun to my head. But to see Dallas so afraid leaves me terrified. He is my safe haven. He is my hope. And to see him without hope…it’s almost as if Mikey has already pulled the trigger. “I know Kyle haunts you. I know you see him, just as I saw my father after he died. That’s what this is all about, right? To bring your kid brother peace? You can’t do that until I am locked behind bars.” My blood runs cold at his words. Anne was right. Mikey did see my father at the basketball game. Mikey went through the same

thing Dallas and I are going through. He knew all along that Kyle is wandering, stuck in limbo. If he truly cared for Kyle, how could he let this happen? Dallas gulps, almost as if realization is dawning on him. “You have a choice now, Dallas. Kyle or Kayla.” “No!” I thrash against his hold, trying to get out of his grasp. What kind of monster would do this? How could he make Dallas choose between us? Mikey struggles with keeping a hold on me, forcing me to turn around to face him. Mikey clutches the gun in his fist and twists his hand. He swings forcefully, his knuckles colliding with the side of my face. My head falls sideways on impact, causing me to stumble. Dizzy, Mikey turns me back around, and with a strong hand on my shoulder, he shoves me to my knees. The gun is now placed at the back of my head. I look up at Dallas, tears welling in my eyes. Please, God, I pray, don’t make him choose. “You choose Kyle, I will shoot Kayla here and now. I will turn myself in. I will bring Kyle the peace he deserves. And if you choose Kayla, you have to promise to drop your vendetta and let me go.” “How do I know that you will keep your word, on either of my choices? If I choose Kyle, how do I

know you will turn yourself in? And if I choose Kayla, how do I know you won’t kill her?” Dallas asks, his voice low, venom dripping off his tongue as he glares at Mikey. “I guess you can’t know for sure that I will turn myself in. But Kayla has always been the one I wanted dead. Killing her has been my purpose for years. I’ll have nothing left…and how do you know I won’t kill her if you choose Kayla over your own brother? That’s simple. I have been given plenty of opportunities to kill her, and I haven’t.” I hear Mikey rustle behind me, and I begin to panic, wondering what he’s fumbling for in his pocket. Suddenly, paper is thrown to the ground, cascading down and scattering in different directions. My eyes fall upon countless pictures of me. Some taken through my bedroom window, of me sleeping or changing. Some of me walking out of my house and to my car. One of me kneeling in front of my father’s grave. One of me walking to the bathroom at Emerson Creek. One of me at the basketball courts, walking toward a drunken Dallas. One of me sitting against the tree at school, during lunch with my eyes in a book. Even one of me at Dairy Queen, talking with Dallas and an empty spot, where Kyle was

standing. He was tempted to shoot me with everyone standing there? He really does have nothing to live for after he kills me. After I’m dead, he’s ready to go to prison. He’s ready to live the rest of his life behind bars. These pictures prove that he will keep his word. He will turn himself in after I’m dead. Or he will refrain from killing me. He clearly had the opportunity to do so, many times. But he hadn’t. This is all just a game to him. This is all just to make Dallas choose. Was this really ever about me and my father? Was there some sort of jealousy he had for Dallas? “And if you choose Kayla and go back to your vendetta, it is abundantly clear that I am able to shoot her down at any moment.” He has no shame. I look up at Dallas. He is completely helpless. His blue eyes are dull with fear, and his hands are shaking by his side. He is utterly vulnerable, just as I am. Mikey has dealt his cards correctly. He has a royal flush. And it feels as if Dallas and I only have a pair. “So, Dally. What is your decision?” Dallas looks down at me, shaking his head. “Mikey, please…I love her.”

Mikey doesn’t say anything. He only presses the gun into my head, causing me to let out a gasp as I await the gunshot that will claim my life. I’m not ready to die. There is so much I have yet to do in life…I want to travel the world. I want to see Katie make it to Julliard and perform. I want to get married and let my mother dress me up in an obnoxious wedding dress. I want to live the rest of my life with Dallas, with kids and a dog. Maybe even a few horses, if I am really lucky. Dallas drops to his knees in front of me, so our eyes are level. Tears are now in Dallas’s eyes as well. I wish I could brush them away. “I love her, Mikey. Please don’t do this,” Dallas begs. “Do you love her more than Kyle?” He’s sick. Dallas drops his head back to look up at Mikey. “It’s a different kind of love, Mikey. You can’t make me choose.” “Do you want your kid brother to travel around Earth, lost and stuck forever?” Mikey asks Dallas. “No. But I don’t want you to shoot her either!” “You can’t have both, Dally! For once in your life, you don’t get what you want! If you don’t choose, then I will for you! And you know what my

choice will be!” Mikey pushes the gun forward, causing me to bow my head and whimper at the pain and fear. Tears stream down my face as I hear Dallas yell out, begging Mikey to stop. Do the neighbors not hear us? Can they not see what is happening? Please, someone call the police. “Pick, Dallas!” Mikey screams. I lift my eyes to see Dallas. “It’s okay…” I whisper, nodding in encouragement. Dallas shakes his head, a sob running through him. His jaw trembles as he stares into my eyes. “I love you,” he says softly. “I love you so much.” Was he saying goodbye? Or was he explaining his decision? Dallas lifts his head, staring at Mikey with so much hatred. “I choose K—” A loud siren interrupts Dallas, causing all three of us to jump. Mikey steps back, looking around as red and blue lights flash around us. “No…” he whispers. I look at Dallas. He reaches for me, and I take Mikey’s hesitation as an opportunity to run toward Dallas, praying we will be able to get around the Jeep before he notices. “Kayla!” Mikey screams the same moment Dallas grabs my arm and yanks me toward him. A gunshot rings through the air, and I freeze

when cold pain ignites through my shoulder. I let out a gasp in pain, falling against Dallas. He catches me smoothly, holding me against his chest. “I got you. It’s going to be okay,” he says in my ear. I feel him lightly trail his hand up my spine, over to my shoulder where I wince in pain. Dallas tenderly touches the bullet wound and pulls back his hand. “Oh God.” He breathes. I try to see what he’s looking at, but I don’t get a chance to. He sets me down on the ground and lunges for Mikey, all in the span of a few seconds. I roll to the side, hissing at the pain in my shoulder as I desperately watch as Dallas tackles Mikey to the ground. “How.” Dallas grabs Mikey’s shirt collar and punches him square in the face. It reminds me of when he attacked David Wood at school. “Dare.” Punch. “You.” Punch. “Hurt.” Punch. “Her!” Punch. “Sir, back away!” I hear a police officer yell. Dallas drops Mikey’s collar, causing his head to fall harshly to the asphalt, his face covered in blood. I can see Mikey’s nose is broken, and his lips are split. Dallas scrambles off Mikey and moves to approach me, yet he is restrained by an officer. “No! You have to let me go to her! Let me go!” I feel my body lifted and placed on a stretcher. I look up to see a paramedic leaning over me. “Let me go!”

“Sir, you must remain calm, or I will have to take you down to the station. She’ll be all right,” I faintly hear the tall, bald officer say to Dallas. “Kayla!” Dallas yells as the paramedics lift me into the ambulance. I lift my head, straining to keep Dallas in my sight. “Kayl—” His scream is cut off by the doors of the ambulance shutting. My head falls back against the stretcher, and my eyes zero in on the roof of the vehicle. Blood loss has made me tired, but I know that I will be all right. A bullet to the shoulder will not kill me; however, blood loss will. But I am being taken care of now. As a breathing mask is placed over my nose and mouth, I feel the world around me slipping away.

Chapter Twenty-Nine Lost *Dallas* January 20, 2016 “Kayla is in a medically induced coma. There was trauma to the head, and the blood loss was more extensive than we thought. We got the bullet out, and the area is clean. She’s stable right now. We just have to wait for her to wake up.” The nurse told this to Mrs. Williams, Katie, and

me four days ago. Since then, I have been stuck by her hospital bed. She hasn’t woken yet, not even a flutter of movement. She just lays there, bruised and cut, yet so beautiful. I was selfish. I was so selfish. I heard the gun go off, and my blood ran cold. I caught her in my arms when she fell against me. I didn’t think the bullet hit her. I didn’t allow myself to think the worst. Until she cried out in pain and I found myself tenderly touching her wound. Only when I saw blood coating my fingers did I see red. I attacked Mikey with so much malice and vengeance. I left Kayla lying on the ground, unattended, as I beat out all my pent-up rage on Mikey’s face. I was selfish to leave her. To leave her scared on the ground. To leave her alone as they wheeled her into the ambulance. She was all alone as they drove her to the hospital. Did she think she was going to die? I thought she was going to die. I thought she was going to be taken from me, just as Kyle had. I thought Mikey had succeeded… What would I have done if she had died? There is no one else out there for me. There is only her. The Williams stay with Kayla every night, never leaving her side until I come to relieve them at five in the morning. I told my mother I wasn’t going to

attend school until she wakes up. She understood. Everything happened so quickly. After Mikey was taken to the station, Shelby testified and accused him of the murder of Kyle. He was then sentenced to life in prison, for murder and attempted murder. It was all over. He was put away, and I would never have to see him again. The school is giving me all the assignments that I am missing, though it isn’t necessary. The school year is almost finished, and my acceptance to University of Illinois is final. School is the furthest thing from my mind. Even when Tyler and Anne come to help me with some of the assignments and check in on Kayla, I made it abundantly clear that I have no intention of finishing any of the homework. Not until Kayla opens her eyes. Anne has come every day to spend a few hours with me or Kayla’s family. The love Anne has for Kayla is the love I had for Mikey, once upon a time. While I’m glad everything is over, that he’s paying for his crime, I am also suffering from a feeling of loss. My heart seems to be missing a piece, and I know it’s the part I had reserved for Mikey. He had been by my side since we were children. I leaned on him during troubling times, as he had

leaned on me. He made me laugh when I thought I couldn’t. He was a second son to my mother…a second brother to both Kyle and me. Even my grandparents adored him. And now, he is out of my life. Forever. I love him. And I hate him. I scoot my chair closer to Kayla’s bed and reach forward and brush hair away from her forehead. I run my hand over the top of her head, her hair so soft under my touch. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I should have been able to protect you,” I whisper. I look down at her left hand, smiling softly at the chipped teal nail polish. I love how she doesn’t worry about her appearance. I lay my head down, resting it on her hand. I place a kiss to her fingers before I look up at her sleeping face. I had made a decision in my head. I thank God that the siren was able to cut me off. However, the guilt is eating me alive. How could I have chosen between the two of them? But I did. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look up at her. I can never lose her. The door is opened, and I look over to see the nurse walking in. She gives me a soft smile as she

makes her way over to the catheter. I decide not to watch, giving my sleeping beauty the respect she needs. I am sure she would be devastatingly embarrassed if she knew that I was watching. The nurse then changed the IV drip and went to the door. “You should get something to eat…We can bring up food for you, dear,” she said. I lift my head from Kayla’s hand and look at the older lady. She has a similar appearance to my mother. Blonde hair, dark brown eyes, mid-forties. She looks tired from her shift, but her expression is endearing as she tries to coax me to eat. “I’m not hungry.” “I’m not sure Kayla would approve of waking up and seeing you half-starved,” the nurse says, a smile playing on her lips. Oh, she’s clever. Using the girl I love against me. “I’ll just take a bowl of soup and crackers. Please.” I sigh in defeat. The nurse’s smile broadens as she nods her head and exits the room. Looking back up at Kayla, I rest my head on her hand again. “Why won’t you wake up?” I whisper, rubbing my thumb along her cheekbones. They are much more prominent, with the lack of food. She has lost weight…not enough to cause an alarm.

It has been another two days. A total of six days since the accident. I am sitting where I have been sitting for the last six days. My chair is pressed up against Kayla’s bed, her hand clasped tightly within my own. Anne, Mrs. Williams, and Katie are sitting on the couch, talking quietly amongst themselves. “Dallas, dear. When was the last time you went home?” Mrs. Williams asks. I rub my thumb over Kayla’s knuckles, staring at her peaceful, sleeping face before I turn to gaze over my shoulder. “I stopped by to get a few things yesterday.” A few nights ago, I began spending my nights on the couch, not able to be away. If Kayla woke up without me there, I would hate myself. I did this to her…I needed to be here when she awoke. “Are you hungry? Perhaps I could go to Portillos and get us all something to eat?” Mrs. Williams asks. I bite my bottom lip. I haven’t really had an appetite. I eat a bowl of soup with crackers every day, for the nurse practically demands it. Other than that, I find myself slipping in and out of slumber. Whenever my eyes fall closed, I jerk awake, only for my eyes to close again. It is a vicious cycle, but I won’t allow myself to fall asleep.

“Katie, Anne. Would you come with me?” Mrs. Williams stands, gathering her purse and car keys. She walks over and runs a hand through my hair, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll bring you a hot dog,” she whispers. Anne, Katie, and Mrs. Williams leave together. I am again surrounded by silence as I lay my head on Kayla’s hand. A quick nap wouldn’t hurt. I place a kiss to her arm and let out a sigh, closing my eyes. Sleep finds me almost immediately. I’m simply exhausted, and a few moments of sleep is well needed. I could have slept the day away and awoken the next morning. I would have if it wasn’t for the feather touch on my cheek. Twitching, I open my eyes to see Kayla’s hand is no longer under my head. Instead, it is lightly tracing my jaw. I nearly jerk from her touch, sitting up straight as my eyes instantly connect with her hazel ones. They are slightly duller than normal, but I don’t care. She’s awake. I lean forward and rest my forehead against hers, my heart squeezing tight as tears roll down my cheeks. “You’re back,” I whisper, running my hand over her head, fingers gliding through her dark hair. Kayla’s hand rises and grips my bicep, her fingers

gently probing my muscle. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. “What happened?” her voice croaks. I back away and take a seat on the bed, grabbing her hand to hold in both of my own. I gently rub her fingers. “Mikey shot you.” Kayla frowns as she looks over at her left shoulder where a white bandage is in place. “You’ve been out for six days. Mikey is imprisoned. It’s all over, Kayla.” Kayla bites her bottom lip as she looks at the door of the hospital room. I can see her eyes watering, but she’s able to hold the tears back. She is silent for a while, and I wonder what is going through her head. Is she scared? Relieved? Does she blame me? I blame myself. “Kyle?” she asks. My eyebrows come together, not understanding what it is she’s asking. Was she asking if I chose Kyle over her? “Is he at peace?” she clarifies. I feel ashamed that I hadn’t asked myself the same question. Honestly, I haven’t thought much about Kyle. It was hard when all that seemed to consume my thoughts was Kayla. I shake my head, not knowing the answer to her question. I haven’t seen Kyle or heard from him in what seems like years. “Soon.” My eyes lift to see Kayla as she smiles like an idiot. She rises in the bed, sitting up

straighter as her eyes connect with the person at the foot of her bed. I stand to my feet and face Kyle, who has his hands shoved into his jean pockets. His blue eyes meet with my identical ones, and he nods his head. “You look like hell,” he says to me. My lips quirk into a soft smile, and I shake my head. “It’s been a while, Kyle,” I say. We haven’t seen him since Naper Lights, almost a month ago. “It has.” He walks over and sits beside Kayla, who opens her arms for him. He quickly wraps his arms around her neck and allows her to squeeze him close. I watch for a moment, smiling before the smile vanishes with a thought. This is it. When Kyle pulls back, he looks over at me. I almost choke on a sob when I see tears roll down his cheeks. His blue eyes are shimmering with sadness, yet also with bliss. I know he is ready. I know he’s ready to be beside God, but I’m not ready to say goodbye. I will never be. I step forward and place a hand on his shoulder. “Are you finally at peace, Kyle?” Kayla asks, running her hand through his tousled hair. He doesn’t shake her hand off, as he always did whenever our mother touched his hair. Instead, he allows her to mess it up. It would be the last time Kayla would touch his hair. It would be the last time she speaks to him. I gulp, cursing myself for wanting his answer to

be no. We are selfish beings. And at this moment, I am consumed by my selfishness. I want nothing more than to keep Kyle here, with us. “Yes,” he whispers. I close my eyes, allowing a tear to fall as I let out a shuddering breath. He’s at peace. “It’s time to say goodbye.” I open my eyes to see Kayla and Kyle clinging to one another again. Kayla’s sobs are quiet, but I can still hear them. “I love you, Kyle.” “I love you, Kayla.” He steps away from her and then turns to walk over and embrace me in a hug. I grab the back of his neck, holding him in place as I hold my little brother desperately. “Thank you, Kyle. For everything. I owe everything to you. I love you so much.” I ruffle his hair, stepping back to look at him. He’s a good-looking kid. He would have grown up to be a heartbreaker. Girls would have fallen in love with his smile. They would have given their heart to his selflessness. He would have surpassed me in basketball. He would have had a wonderful life. He should have. “I love you more than anyone, Dallas. I always have.” My stomach is so heavy. I feel as if the four bowls of soup I’ve eaten want to empty from my

stomach. Tears roll shamelessly down my cheeks. “But I have to go now.” Kyle steps back and smiles at the both of us. I can see that he’s ready. “Oh. And Dally. You lost to a girl. You lost your heart to Kayla. And that’s okay.” Kyle gives me a warming smile before he nods his head to Kayla in goodbye. We watch, one last time, as Kyle disappears in front of us, blowing away like the wind. I look over at Kayla and let out a soft cry. I lost to Kayla. And it’s okay.

Epilogue *Kyle* December 25, 2025 It all seems timeless. The last time I saw Dallas and Kayla was the year 2016. They were both so young and full of love. They had solved my murder. Mikey was sentenced to life in prison. He was getting what he deserved, and I had said my final goodbyes to my brother and my best friend. I love them both, more than one could express. We all believed that I had found peace. That with Mikey being placed behind bars, I was finally free and able to find myself before the pearly white Gates of Heaven.

However, with what feels like a blink of an eye, I find myself standing knee deep in snow. The chilly December air touches my exposed arms; however, I am hardly cold. I am still dressed in my red shirt and dark jeans. My hair is perfectly gelled upward, and I am wearing my favorite black Nikes… however, they are buried in the Illinois snow. If I was in Heaven, I would not be wearing this outfit. I have grown tired of wearing it…it represents the day I died and the endless amount of time of being in limbo. Of not being able to rest beside God, my Father. So apparently, I am still not at peace. But that doesn’t make any sense…why wouldn’t I be? Mikey is in prison. I said my goodbyes to Dallas and Kayla…I am ready to be gone from this Earth. I am ready to be in Heaven. I hear light laughter, and I lift my eyes from the snow to gaze into a window. I clench my hands into fists as I stare inward, seeing a brightly lit Christmas tree. A fire is burning in the fireplace; an assortment of gifts lies scattered on the floor. Beautiful decorations adorn the walls, the mantle, even the railing of the staircase. It’s Christmas again? Is it the year 2017? Why am I back? Wait, what house is this? I take a step back and look at the large blue-gray house with white shutters before me. It has an

elegant porch with white columns and railings. There is a balcony on the second floor outside of one of the bedrooms. Looking around, I notice I am basically in the middle of nowhere. There is a vast amount of trees and land; however, I can see the lights of a neighboring house half a mile away. There is a large white, wooden fenced-in yard behind the house. I can see a barn through the snowy air. A loud neigh brings a smile to my face. This is the house Kayla described to me on one of our Dairy Queen outings. The thought evaporates my smile, and I jerk my head back to the window, letting out a soft gasp as I gaze in at the family sitting on the ground. A little girl with bright blonde, braided hair, dressed in a red Christmas dress, sits on the floor with a pile of Christmas gifts before her. On her left, lying on the ground with his head on her lap, is a large German Shepherd. He has a red bandanna around his neck. The girl is talking animatedly to someone, causing me to turn my eyes to a woman sitting, leaning against the couch. There is a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hands as she smiles brightly at her daughter. Her hazel eyes are so brilliant that I can see them from outside. Her brown hair is twisted into a side, messy bun, and she is dressed in a simple red sweater dress.

Even now, she is still a simple tomboy. “Daddy!” I hear the girl yell, and I watch as she jumps to her feet. The blonde bundle of joy runs over to the man walking into the room. Dally… My brother is dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a red polo. His blue eyes are just as luminous as they have always been. His blond hair has darkened with age, yet he has managed to get broader. I wonder, did he pursue his dream of becoming a basketball star? Looking around the room in an answer, I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I see an NBA MVP trophy sitting on the mantle, behind Christmas decorations. I squint my eyes, and from the distance I can read, “Dallas Perkins, Chicago Bulls.” He did it. He not only made the team, he won MVP. I look back to my brother and notice a small present in his arms. He must only be a few months old, his eyes closed as he sucks on a pacifier. His dark brown hair is thin, and I can’t help but wonder if he has his mother’s eyes as well. Dallas hands the baby over to Kayla, who cradles him close to her chest while he sits beside her. His arm slings over her shoulders before he places a kiss to her head. “Open your gifts, Kyle,” I faintly hear him say.

The blonde bundle starts tearing through her presents, and I let out another gasp. Kyle. They named their firstborn after me. Tears roll down my cheeks as an overwhelming sense of happiness runs over me. I stand there, watching as the girl named after me squeals with delight at the various gifts she opens. Even when she got a simple shirt, she would proclaim her gratitude and fling her arms around her father’s neck and then kiss her mom’s cheek. A loud bark brings me to alert, and I jerk my eyes over to see the large German Shepherd at the window, barking. It’s not vicious, just a warning. “What is it, Ragnar?” I hear Kayla ask the dog. I look back at her as she scampers to her feet and walks over to the window. I take a wary step back and watch as she gazes out. I let out a breath. She can’t see me. “Oh my—Dallas!” she screams. I freeze, my eyes as wide as hers as she focuses in on me. Dallas runs to the window and looks at me, his mouth falling open with shock. “Kyle,” I read from his lips. The three of us don’t move, just look at each other until Dallas tells me to wait. He bolts to the door and rips it open, allowing the December air to fill their house. He runs over to me, through the snow, dressed only in his slacks and polo. “Dally…” I whisper,

cut off when he grabs me and crushes me into a hug. I let out a breath. “I love you. I love you so much, Kyle. You were always my best friend, and I am sorry I let basketball get in the way. I am sorry I was selfish and put our relationship on the sidelines. I am sorry I never told you how much you meant to me. I am sorry I never thanked you.” Dallas pulls back, his large hands on my shoulders as he looks into my eyes. “Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for loving me through all my flaws. Thank you for bringing me Kayla. Thank you for everything, Ky.” Tears shamelessly roll down his cheeks, and I reach up to brush them away. I smile and look over his shoulder to see Kayla jogging toward us, her small child in her arms, tucked under a coat she is now wearing. Sobs shake through her as she hands the baby to Dallas. Dallas holds tight to the baby, trying to keep him warm. “Kyle.” Her voice breaks as she throws her arms around my neck, clinging tightly to me. “I love you,” she whispers in my ear. “I love you too. Both of you.” I step back and look at the baby boy in my brother’s arms. “Lee Perkins,” Kayla says, reaching over to rub her child’s cheeks, smiling. I look at her and let out a hiccupping sob. Lee is my middle name. Both of their children

are named after me. “Thank you,” I whisper, looking at the both of them. Kayla smiles and nods her head. She steps closer to Dallas, seeking warmth from him, and as I watch the both of them staring at me with smiles on their faces and a child in their arms, a sense of peace washes over me. I let out a deep breath and close my eyes. I feel as if a weight is lifted off of me, and if I wanted, I could fly. As many times before, I feel my presence slipping away from them. But this is it. “I have to go,” I whisper, opening my eyes to look upon them one last time. Tears roll down both of their cheeks, but there are none from me. I am no longer sad or distressed. I am happy. I am at peace. It was never because of Mikey. I was never lost and stuck because of Mikey’s betrayal. It was always them. I wasn’t ready to leave. Not until I saw that both of their dreams were fulfilled. Not until they were both happy and at peace themselves. It was always them. Now, with them living out what they always hoped and dreamed, I am at peace. And now, I can go and live out the rest of time with God.

“Goodbye, Kyle,” Kayla says. “Thank you, Ky,” Dallas whispers. I offer a bright, wide smile. “I love you,” I say, one last time. As I fade before them, I leave Earth with certainty that the many years ahead of them will be happy and full of love. Love that lived on against all the odds they faced. Love that started with one gunshot.

Acknowledgements When I was young, it was a trying task for me to read. I would sit and stare at the pages with a blank expression. The words never reached my mind and I couldn’t grasp the meanings. I thank my seventhgrade teacher for recommending the Twilight Series, for it transported me into the world of reading and writing. In eighth-grade, I began writing poorly written stories with my friend as a joke. However, I grew to love it and continued to pursue my passion. I want to thank all my high school friends (you know who you are!) for always reading and supporting my books. I want to thank the crew from Limitless Publishing. You guys have made this process easy. Thank you for always being quick to answer questions and making my dream a reality! I want to thank my cousins, Ruthie and Keller, for being strong advocates of my work. With every chapter updated, I could practically see them pulling out their phones to read my material. Without their support and constant praise, I might not have had the drive to continue writing. I want to thank my brothers, Bradley and Michael, for never doubting me or my dreams. They always supported the fact that I wanted to be

an author and never told me to dream a little smaller. I want to thank my Dad for being a provider for my brothers and me, allowing us to pursue our dreams. All my fans have most definitely contributed to my direction in writing. All their comments and reviews have left a large impact. I thank each and every one of them for reading the material that I post and giving great feedback. My main purpose for writing is to impact the lives of my readers, and to be given fan mail saying I am doing just that encourages my creative heart and mind! We all have role models in our lives: a celebrity, a historical figure or most commonly a family member. My grandfather, Ken Hyde, has always been my biggest inspiration. His story, filled with trials and tribulations, have taught me to never give up. We may be in a valley, but the good news is that we will soon stand atop a mountain. My grandfather has a strong passion for literature and writing, and I am glad I had him to be my first editor! My breath was practically out of my lungs as I awaited his thoughts for Enlightened. It was as if an actor was awaiting to see if they will have a callback! Thank you, Ken Hyde, for loving me and my books. The last person I would like to thank and acknowledge is my mother. There is not a doubt in

my mind, that without her constant love and support, that I would not be where I am as an author. She has read and edited every chapter of every book I’ve written. While writing Enlightened, we would stand around the island in our kitchen and I would ask for her advice with the smallest of details. My mother never failed to job at the opportunity to help me. All I am is because of you, Mom. I love you, Forever!

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About the Author I live in Oswego, Illinois. I am a shift manager at Starbucks and I am participating in the Starbucks Achievement Plan through Arizona State University to get my bachelors in English. I began my writing career in middle school, where a friend and I shared stories we had jokingly wrote. I grew to love the momentary escape, and creating characters people can relate to and fall in love with. I now find inspiration for my writing in nature, specifically in the mountains. Lately, I have focused my writing on touching the hearts of young men and women all around the world.

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